#i've had a lot of time to think about my experiences in the old fandom and how they impacted my perception and takes and yknow what?

[willows-rambles]

The best thing about the MM franchise is that there's so many ways to interpret everything yanno what i mean i'm kinda a little sick of how polarized the fandom is over canon

no more fighting over what's the correct interpretation or not. celebrate diversity, love wins

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

for whom good omens is being written

Hey maggots and the rest of the fandom, it's the Good Omens Mascot here. Today I read a post about this tweet:

The accompanying video genuinely made me cry. And I've been thinking about this for a long while, as far back as February, when I saw a lot of conflicting opinions on what people wanted from the third season. It really is true that no matter what you do, some people will be dissatisfied. But what matters is that Neil is writing this for Terry.

And I was reminded of some paragraphs from the Good Omens TV Companion, which I'd read in Amazon's sample excerpt of the book. I know this is a long post, but I really truly do think you all need to read these, I've done my best to select only the most important parts. Here you go:

'His Alzheimer's started progressing harder and faster than either of us had expected,' says Neil, referring to a period in which Terry recognized that despite everything he could no longer write. 'We had been friends for over thirty years, and during that time he had never asked me for anything. Then, out of the blue, I received an email from him with a special request. It read: “Listen, I know how busy you are. I know you don't have time to do this, but I want you to write the script for Good Omens. You are the only human being on this planet who has the passion, love and understanding for the old girl that I do. You have to do this for me so that I can see it." And I thought, “OK, if you put it like that then I'll do it."

'I had adapted my own work in the past, writing scripts for Death: The High Cost of Living and Sandman, but not a lot else was seen. I'd also written two episodes of Doctor Who, and so I felt like I knew what I was doing. Usually, having written something once I'd rather start something new, but having a very sick co-author saying I had to do this?' Neil spreads his hands as if the answer is clear to see. 'I had to step up to the plate.' A pause, then: 'All this took place in autumn 2014, around the time that the BBC radio adaptation of Good Omens was happening,' he continues, referring to the production scripted and co-directed by Dirk Maggs and starring Peter Serafinowicz and Mark Heap. ‘Terry had talked me into writing the TV adaptation, and I thought OK, I have a few years. Only I didn't have a few years,' he says. 'Terry was unconscious by December and dead by March.'

He pauses again. 'His passing took all of us by surprise,' Neil remembers. 'About a week later, I started writing, and it was very sad. The moments Terry felt closest to me were the moments I would get stuck during the writing process. In the old days, when we wrote the novel, I would send him what I'd done or phone him up. And he would say, "Aahh, the problem, Grasshopper, is in the way you phrase the question," and I would reply, "Just tell me what to do!" which somehow always started a conversation. 'In writing the script, there were times I'd really want to talk to Terry, and also places where I'd figure something out and do something really clever, and I would want to share it with him. So, instead, I would text Terry's former personal assistant, Rob Wilkins, now his representative on Earth. It was the nearest thing I had.'

(...) As Neil himself recognizes, this is an adaptation built upon the confidence that comes from three decades of writing for page and screen. But for all the wisdom of experience, he found that above all one factor guided him throughout the process. 'Terry isn't here, which leaves me as the guardian of the soul of the story,' he explains. 'It's funny because sometimes I found myself defending Terry's bits harder or more passionately than I would defend my own bits. Take Agnes Nutter,' he says, referring to what has become a key scene in the adaptation in which the seventeenth-century author of the book of prophecies foretelling the coming of the Antichrist is burned at the stake. ‘It was a huge, complicated and incredibly expensive shoot, with bonfires built and primed to explode as well as huge crowds in costume. It had to feel just like an English village in the 1640s, and of course everyone asked if there was a cheap way of doing it. 'One suggestion was that we could tell the story using old-fashioned woodcuts and have the narrator take us through what happened, but I just thought, “No”. Because I had brought aspects of the story like Crowley and the baby swap along to the mix, and Terry created Agnes Nutter. So, if I had cut out Agnes then I wouldn't be doing right by the person who gave me this job. Terry would've rolled over in his grave.'

And, finally, this paragraph:

"Once again, Neil cites the absence of his co-writer as his drive to ensure that Good Omens translated to the screen and remained true to the original vision. 'Terry's last request to me was to make this something he would be proud of. And so that has been my job.'"

I think that's so heartwrenchingly beautiful, and so I wanted you all to read this, too, just in case you (like me) don't have the Good Omens TV Companion. It adds another layer of depth and emotion to this already complex and amazing story that we all know and love.

Share this post, if you can, please, so that more people can read these excerpts :")

Tagging @neil-gaiman, @fuckyeahgoodomens and @orpiknight, even if you've definitely read these before :)

[bunnwich]

It's Supposed to Be Fun

(a letter to my friends in the twst fandom)

I've been wanting to make this post for a while and these thoughts may seem scattered but I’m gonna try to express them. 

Lately, I have seen many friends and moots that either are leaving the fandom or feel guilty over not having posted in a while or losing interest in twst. On the other side, I also have friends being harassed.

This a reminder to remember why you joined this community to begin with. I know that keeping up with the fast-moving pace of fandom and comparing ourselves to others, can skew our perspective on these things.

It’s supposed to be fun. 

Why do we post art or write? Sure, partly for recognition, there's no denying that. But, why do we create, I mean really? For enjoyment. Not for others, not to be “popular” FOR JOY.

So, whether you’re dealing with people critiquing you or feeling guilty about not creating. My question is this: Why waste so much of your time on something that makes you miserable?

Did it stop being fun? Why? Haters? Loss of interest?

To my friends who feel guilty for not creating and not sure if they lost interest in twst: 

Don’t feel guilty. At one time, the creation of your twst content was natural. It's what you did for fun with friends or for yourself. Revisit that mindset and think - if creating twst content now will bring that same joy it did before.

If the answer is no, then maybe it’s time to pivot. It’s okay for interests to fade. It doesn’t mean that time, memories, or the friends you made are lost. Connect with your friends, we will understand! We still love you! It's not a race there's no time limit, just pick up were you want to. Draw fanart of old events or OCs.

To my friends who have been harassed: 

I say this with sincerity…. People who harass others over fictional characters are fucking losers.

Like… There’s no other eloquent way to encapsulate it. I’m starting to not care for the reason anymore - If you harass or be shady to others over a ship or fictional character. CONGRATS! YOU ARE A LOSER.

We all join fandoms as a hobby, for fun. We’re all just kids in the sandbox playing pretend again… and if you are the type of person to go up just to “kick the doll out of someone’s hand" or make commentary on how “their way of playing is wrong." You’re a loser. I have a life outside of twst, we all do. Someone saying my ship is wrong or cringe is just so laughable to me. We have to make fun of these people more for being so goddamn lame.

Imagine being so unhappy that when you see someone having fun you HAVE to comment on it. By all means, if it gets you through the day...talk shit to close friends or even post about it on your own blog. (THAT WAS ALWAYS ALLOWED.) Don't bother creators directly. Don't be a loser. I sure see tolerance leave people’s bodies when they see a fandom opinion they don't like. (And this is coming from someone who has lots of opinions on these things! But that's why I always put the disclaimers that, hey this is just MY opinion.)

Discussion is one thing, unhelpful comments are another. We shouldn’t give these people the time of day. Curate your online space. Yes, when you post things online you are subjecting yourself to scrutiny. But, we as creators need to stop letting these people have power over us. Period. We do this for free!! FOR FUN. The best thing you can do is create shamelessly.

Delete weird replies, block whoever you need to do to rid yourself of these people who have nothing better to do. Keep your peace. It’s supposed to be for fun. You don’t owe anyone a response.

The twst fandom is like a little family to me and I guess I feel protective over the people in it?  I have made many friends and memories because I joined it. And even dispite a handful of the negative experiences (AKA: A couple of ��losers" that I’ve had to deal with.) I’ll always look fondly back on this time.

The key for me has always been to just…create for myself. I originally made bunnwich for me and one friend to make fun little arts about our Yuu’s and now I get to have lots of friends to share it with! I’ve transitioned from an OC blog to probably more of an Oc x Canon blog…but I don’t care tbh. I just…draw what I feel like. I know there are people who probably dislike me for that or feel strange about my content and that’s fine. I’m still gonna keep drawing it, loser.  

And I just want you guys to do the same, twst or not.

I can’t forget that all my followers and friends are a bonus, if I had never joined tumblr I’d still be drawing the silly shit I draw in peace. And while yes, I do want to grow as an artist and sell more merch and keep growing... I can’t forget my initial excitement for this silly little game. I like to talk about it. I like to write about it. It inspires me.

It’s supposed to be fun. Please remember that. I know it can be discouraging to have others being shitty to you. Or going through a creative drought. But, try not to let this stop you from creating what you love.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

This is complaining day because I realized there's more than one thing that got on my nerves lately and it's not just about the treatment of a kpop idol's mother. Let's begin.

Please, stop refering to Jungkook's mother as mama Jeon. I know the tendency is to ignore so many of the cultural differences that exist, but in SK, people don't change their surname after marriage. It just sounds idiotic and westernized in a ridiculous way.

So, Jungkook's mother loves all BTS members. She LOVES them all. How does army know that? How? I'm genuinely curious and genuinely asking. Because they say it as a certainty. Or, forgive me if my memory is faulty as well, but the only instance that we as outsiders were privy to in which we heard that woman speak for the first time, it was in early 2021 on another phonecall with Jungkook when she said I love you to Jimin.

Of course, the same ot7 narrative came as a buldozer at that time too. Damn, does that mean Jimin = BTS? Sometimes yes, but only when Army wants to diminish Jimin's importance and doesn't allow him to stand out individually too much. Musically or otherwise. But back to this Big Love that Jungkook's mom is supposedly feeling for everyone and which has been invoked once again when that woman mentioned Jimin twice while talking to Jungkook on the phone. Cause she already knew they were in Jeju. I bet she didn't have to find out randomly from a schedule group chat.

So what happens? An assumption is turned into certainty because of small people being extremely insecure. Because they see that one person is once again given more importance on a personal level and we can't have that. No sir! So in a panic, they tweet, they post on tumblr, tiktok, youtube the old age, boring af, sounding like a broken record sentence: "Mama Jeon loves all seven". Fuck me gently with a chainsaw cause that sounds a lot better than the feeling of throwing up I get whenever I read such things.

No, she doesn't love all of them. That is not a fact. It could be true and it's not impossible. But it is not a fact based on the knowledge we have at the moment.

Also, it shows once again that an entire fandom is actively creating a reality of their own which is not even like some sort of simulacrum of the reality they must live through. In Army world, the mother of one member of a k-pop group must love all the members of such group. It doesn't matter than irl, our mothers a lot of the times don't even like all our friends, besties or partners. We might have the most incredible connections and it would mean nothing to our mothers.

In that same vein, another narrative that makes me want to pull my eyes out is the "awww, their bond is to die for, they are (like) siblings after all". Do any of them never had any siblings? Never saw other people and their relationship with their siblings? Or with their family?

I also had to read (which was followed by me blocking it immediately) how Jimin and Jungkook's relationship is the sum of the other relationships they have with other BTS members. I mean, why would I have any sort of expectations from any of these people when they are completely incapable of looking at JM and JK as actual people. As persons with individual minds and an intellect of their own. Let alone the fact that their world does not stop with the presence of 5 other men. In what realistic scenario does this translate in real life? That's not how it works. Yes, we are social creatures and a product of our surroundings, but it is not in the way in which these stans believe it to be. They think that living in a dorm for a few years and working together with other people, it means that those experiences are the only ones that actually shape the personality of a person. They are real people, not fictional characters. I've never heard such ridiculous theories in my entire life, to be used as talking points about someone's behavior or relationship with another person.

Maybe the need to create this elaborate fantasy comes from the lack of love in their life, which then gets projected into this Disney, kumbaya, capitalist heaven narrative in which everyone is a big family and they love each other so much and equally and all the parents of all the children love every single member and thus, harmony is created. Love is always platonic and ever present. The complexity of human relationships must not exist.

[youatemylollipop]

I saw that you write for mha. Can you write first time (nsfw) touya x reader? Thx 🥰

Synopsis: You're tired of being the only one lacking experience in the s*x department, so when Touya suddenly suggests that you accompany him to a party, you decide to take him up on the offer. Who would have thought that this would lead to a steamy session with your childhood friend in his car?

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Touya Todoroki X Female Reader

WARNING: Childhood friends to lovers, college and no quirks au. First time, loss of virginity, kinda(?) soft dom! Touya, he's an asshole but has low-key a soft spot for the reader, explicit sexual content, oral sex (m.receiving), dirty talk, Touya calls reader slut a couple of times, MDNI!!

Word Count: 10.5K

“What’s the farthest you've gone with a girl?” You suddenly ask, tilting your head curiously as you turn to face him as he drives the car. 

Touya raises an eyebrow as he glances at you. He's quiet for a few moments before responding in a more casual tone. 

"As in, how many girls have I dated or...? Are you asking if I've... You know... Done the naughty?" 

“Yes,” you confirm blatantly. “I meant the naughty.” 

Touya sighs and looks ahead again, a slight blush on his cheeks. “How’d I know that’s where you were going to go with that question…”

His tone is teasing but there’s a hint of irritation there. He slows down slightly and pulls over to the side of the road, putting the car in park before giving you a look from the corner of his eye. 

“And why do you even care?”

“So…?” You trailed off, ignoring his question as you eye him with a scrutinizing gaze, waiting for him to say openly that yes, he’s had sex.

Touya groans and rubs his eyes, already feeling this conversation becoming annoying. Though that’s probably more because of who it’s coming from and less because of the actual subject matter. 

“Yes, alright…”

He finally caves. You’re like a child that’s curious and has a lot of questions about things they maybe shouldn’t be so curious about. Maybe it’s your own childishness rubbing off on him.

“Yes. I have.”

“So you’ve done the deed?” You continue to ask, just to make sure—and maybe just to annoy him. 

“You’ve gone all the way? Like actually putting your sword in someone else’s cave?” The way you’re describing it makes him roll his eyes and look away, the blush on his cheeks deepening just a bit. 

“Goddamnit… Yes. I have.” Now he just looks amused by the ridiculous way in which you’re asking this question.

“Ok.” Was all you said, before turning your attention back to the window.

He raises an eyebrow at that. Something’s bugging him slightly. Why is there suddenly so much interest in this? He doesn’t mind talking about his sex life, especially since it’s you he’s talking to. Though you’re kind of… weird about it. 

“Why do you even care so much?”

“Because I’ve never done it,” you admit, turning to look out the window, sounding very much like a sulking brat. “I’ve never done anything like that with a guy.”

Touya turns his head to look at you, an eyebrow raised. He had a small hunch that was what you were gonna say though it still took him by surprise. When he speaks, his voice is calm but a bit teasing. 

“Sounds like somebody’s salty that they haven’t done it yet.”

You huff, pouting at his attitude. “Yes I’m salty! Who’s gonna be willing to date a 19 year old college student that’s got zero experience? I haven’t even had my first kiss yet,” you complain with the same bratty attitude. 

“Show me some sympathy, asshole.”

Even though he’s clearly trying not to, Touya snickers. He can’t seem to help the slight smirk that has formed on his lips. You’re so cute when you’re being a pouty brat like this. 

“You say that as if it’s the end of your existence, or as if it’ll never happen. You are being overdramatic, you know that right?”

“I hope that I’ll meet someone at the party tonight,” you continue, ignoring him. “You’re friends are going to be there, right? Do you think I can kiss one of them?”

That gets the reaction he was hoping for. Touya turns to you, giving you a raised eyebrow as his lips curl into a smirk. “Oh? You want to kiss one of my friends?” 

He’s quiet for another moment before smirking a bit and speaking again. “What about me? Maybe you could kiss me instead?”

“You’re not being funny,” you roll your eyes, not taking him seriously. “I just want to get it over with, I hope that at least one of them is hot enough.”

Touya lets out a small laugh at that as he looks away from you, the smirk on his lips growing into a small grin. Damn, you’re being a brat but for some reason it’s kind of hot. 

“Oh come on, surely I’m hot enough. You should kiss me instead.”

You were about to retort until something clicked in your mind. “Wait, are you for real?”

Touya raises his eyebrow a bit, his grin widening as he notices the shift in your attitude from petulant brat to actually thinking about it. He shrugs as his lips turn into a smirk, looking back at you for a brief moment before looking back at the road again.

"Sure, I'm for real. Why shouldn't I be?"

“Won’t it be, I don’t know—weird?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“What do you mean by ‘weird’? I mean we’ve known each other since we were kids. What’s weird about us kissing?” He keeps smirking and speaks playfully, not seeming to take the concept too seriously. Of course he is, but he’s not making it too obvious. 

You eye him skeptically for a brief moment before deciding to let it go. “Alright, if you say so.”

He can’t help the satisfied grin that comes across his lips. It was probably a bit easier than expected to convince you. After all, the two of you have been so close since you were kids.

“You gonna kiss me or what?”

You let out a half amused snort before unbuckling your seatbelt and crawling over to him so that you were now seated on his lap, with your legs spread out on either side of his hips. There is a mix of excitement and nervousness in your actions as you lick your lips, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck. 

“So, am I just supposed to lean in?” You ask.

Touya just lets out a small hum as he takes his seat belt off as well, watching as you crawl over to him and sit on his lap. For a moment, he says nothing, a smirk still on his lips as he gazes at you. Finally, he speaks with a more confident and teasing tone. 

“Yeah. Just lean in… Make sure to aim for my lips, though. Don’t miss.” 

You roll your eyes at his so called ‘instructions’, but do as he says anyways. The action is slow and once you get extremely close to his face you hesitate for a moment. 

“Tell me if I do something wrong,” you mumble out before finally going in for the kill, closing your eyes as your lips finally touch. 

As soon as he sees the motion coming, he meets you in the middle, closing his eyes as your lips finally brush against each other’s as well. For a moment all Touya can do is sigh softly, your scent filling his nostrils, his fingers tightening around your waist as his face heats up. 

Finally he speaks again. His voice is slightly breathless. “That’s not bad, but go again…with a bit more passion this time.”

You adjust yourself on his lap to sit more comfortably before speaking. “Uhm, can you show me how?”

Touya snickers at that. You really haven’t done this before, have you? He thinks to himself amusedly. 

“Sure… I’ll show you…”

Finally his hands start to move, slowly wrapping around you before one hand reaches the back of your head. Leaning forward slightly, as his other hand presses you down a bit more, he leans in and takes control of the kiss. 

It turns into a deeper kiss, as his hands work on your body. The movements of his mouth against yours are more precise now, his tongue beginning to explore the depths of your mouth with confidence.

His grip becomes slightly tighter, his hands digging slightly into you as his arms almost seem to constrict you from the back. His lips are demanding, moving against yours with pressure. He pulls you in ever so slightly and then lets you go, repeating the same motion over and over again, trying to show you how to kiss and how to get into it.

You pull away after a while, feeling slightly breathless as you try to calm yourself from that kiss. “Whoa.”

Touya lets you go as he lets out a soft chuckle. He lets his hands stay where they are, still wrapped around your waist as he looks at you with a grin. After a bit he speaks up again, speaking casually as he leans back in the seat. 

“Not bad… But here.” 

His body moves again, this time more slowly, as he brings you back in as he presses you against his lips again. He moves his hands to grab the nape of your neck, pulling you forward and making the kiss even deeper than before. The ravenette holds you there for another moment before finally letting you go again, speaking with a confident tone. 

“There,” a hand runs through your hair as he leans back in the seat a bit. Touya looks at you with a soft smirk on his lips. 

“See? Like that,” he speaks before adding teasingly. “Are you sure you haven’t kissed before?”

Your cheeks are flushed as you pant softly, trying to regain some form of composure. “That was—“ you gulp, letting out a shaky breath. “Awesome.”

Touya chuckles at your reaction, the soft smirk still on his lips. His body relaxes a bit as he leans back in the seat again. The way you react and your inexperience is almost adorable. But it’s also a lot of fun. 

“I can show you more than just how to kiss if you want…” He says, teasing you a little.

“Really?” You breathe out as your panting slowly calms down. 

“I can feel you, down there.” You mutter softly, gesturing towards his obvious bulge.

Touya lets out a quiet chuckle in response. He moves one hand slowly to your rear, letting it rest on your backside. With the other hand he plays with a lock of your hair before speaking in a teasing, raspy voice.

“Oh… You can feel that, can you?”

“Yeah…” You mumble with a mix of shyness and eagerness. “Can I see it?”

Touya laughs as he feels his body heating up once again. He keeps his hand on your rear and shifts his body closer so that you’re basically straddling him. Your thighs are pressed right up against his waist and his other hand reaches up to the side of your face.

“Are you sure you want to see it?”

“Please…?” You add, lips jutting out as you do so.

Touya lets out a soft sigh, his breath hitched a bit. Your bratty pout is both annoying and cute at the same time. “Such an impatient brat…” 

His tone is still teasing but he finally lets out a small sigh. With his hand still on the side of your face, his other hand reaches down to unbuckle his belt, undoing it slowly. All you can hear is the subtle sound of a zipper being undone and pants unzipped as his hand disappears from your side. He lets out a brief grumble before speaking again, his tone still being teasing. 

“So, you really want to see it, huh…” 

Still not taking his hand away, he gently pushes your head down. There may be no mistaking it as he gently pushes you even closer, your face only a few inches away from what was earlier tucked into his jeans and now out in the open.

Touya looks down at you from above, that snarky smirk remaining on his face as he watches you from this angle. There’s no denying the fact that you’re adorable when you look up at him like that. He’s only half joking when he calls you a little brat… And yet something about the way you act and the things you say makes him want to have you all to himself. It’s something he’d never admit out loud however.

He waits for a response, but there’s none yet. The corner of his lips starts to twitch as a smirk forms, knowing full well why you’re staying quiet. Finally your gaze moves lower, and your lips part as you stare. Touya keeps your head in place with a firm grip on your head as your gaze remains glued on that spot. 

You swallow thickly as you gaze at his size with awe. “Can I touch it?”

Touya lets out a breath, he can’t help but feel a little bit amused. Your eyes are so fixed, it’s adorable. Finally he lets your head go once more, giving you the freedom to do whatever you want. 

“Go ahead… I won’t stop you.”

Touya tilts his head up again to look at you from above. He lets out a small chuckle as he finally sees your hands move to the front of his pants. When you touch it, his body reacts with a subtle twitch from the sudden sensation. You can almost feel him shiver in your grip.

Touya looks down at you again, a devious smirk forming on his lips as your hand squeezes his shaft experimentally. He sighs softly and his lips curve up into a sly, suggestive smile. He’s just enjoying the sight of you right now, watching the look of curiosity on your face as you take in his size.

Touya lets his lips curl up into an even wider smug grin as your hand starts to move faster. His hips rock forward ever so slightly with the motion of your hand. Another small gasp comes from his lips and he leans back in the seat with his eyes closed.

“Am I doing this right?” You ask curiously.

With a slight nod, he whispers softly. “Mhm… You just keep doing what you’re doing.” 

Just touching him is driving him insane… It feels so good, he’s enjoying every moment of it. His breathing grows even heavier now as a raspy moan escapes his lips in response to the light brushing of your fingertips. He shifts once again, spreading his legs further to give you more room to work with. 

He lets his gaze fall on you again, watching you take his piece of flesh in your hand like this. His lips curve up into a smirk as he speaks softly for the first time in a while.

“Do you really have no experience?” He asks teasingly. 

You gulp audibly, feeling the heat between your legs grow as you continue your experimental touches. “I wanna taste it.” 

You mumble breathlessly before peering up at him, licking your lips as you feel your mouth watering at the thought. “Can I?”

That takes him by surprise. As soon as you speak up he opens his eyes once more, looking at you and noticing the breathlessness in your voice. The way you gulp and the way your body reacts to his touch tells him everything he needs to know. Though he lets out a soft, smug laugh when you ask that last question. 

“I don’t see why not…” 

He pauses briefly, giving you a teasing grin before adding, ”Just don’t disappoint me.”

He spreads his legs even more. After a moment, when he’s satisfied that there’s plenty of room for you to work with, he simply nods once again, allowing you to do as you please. You’re slow and hesitant in your movements as you bring it closer to your mouth, starting off by licking it experimentally. 

“Mm…” Touya lets out a raspy moan of satisfaction as he notices you’re slowly and timidly moving. He can’t deny that it’s very erotic. But it’s also extremely cute. Your hesitation is almost as cute as your eagerness. He stays silent for a few more seconds, wanting to see how you feel as you give it a little lick. 

Yet another moan escapes his lips again as your tongue rubs over him. You can feel him shiver slightly as he feels the sensation, his body moving in response to your tease. He closes his eyes and leans back the best he can with the little room he has left, his lips curling up into a small smirk. 

“Keep going…” You feel your mouth water as you suddenly swallow as much of the length as you can fit in one go.

You’ve gone too far, and now his reactions are becoming even more intense. His throaty mumbles turn into loud groans as his entire body starts trembling. He shifts once again, pressing his back against the back of the seat as he tries his best to keep quiet. He's struggling to maintain any sort of control over himself, but with every suck you give him, his willpower weakens a little bit.

With a satisfied grunt, he finally finds some degree of control as he lets out another small moan and leans back once again. “God… So good…”

He moves one hand upwards, gripping onto the seat as his other hand shifts to the back of your head. You can hear your name escape his mouth as he lets out another small moan.

And just like that, you feel his hands shift. His one hand grips your head lightly as he gently takes control and moves. The slight change in motion is almost imperceptible but you do notice that he holds his breath for a moment as you lick him. It takes him a few seconds to recover as he lets out a loud moan. He lets go of your head and his fingers bury themselves in your hair as he shifts in his seat. 

You can feel his grip tighten and a small shiver runs through your body as his hand moves your head up and back down again, this time with a bit more force.

“R-right there… Fuck, don’t stop… Mm…” Touya lets out quiet but clearly noticeable groans as your mouth works its magic. You gag slightly as the sudden force makes you choke slightly on his length, which urges you to send him a bratty glare despite low-key enjoying it.

Touya lets out a raspy chuckle at your glare, a smugness in his expression as he looks at you. The pressure he’s applying is steady but gentle enough not to hurt you or make you choke too hard. 

"You're enjoying that, huh..." He lets out a small grunt and a muffled moan as you keep moving your head up and down. His hand keeps a firm grip on your hair, keeping you in place.

Touya keeps this up for a few more moments, his breathing getting heavier as your mouth works up and down repeatedly. He starts to growl softly, trying to hold back a little. This is just as much of a pleasure for him as it is for you. His grip tightens once more as his growls get louder. The grip is still not rough but firm enough to make sure you don’t slip up while working on him.

Touya’s body finally gets to that point, making him let out a loud moan as his grip around your head tightens some more. His hand on the side of your face moves up to the back, making sure you stay in position as he pushes you further and further. His eyes are closed as he relaxes a bit more against his seat.

Touya lets out another breath as he finally speaks with a raspy voice. “Keep going… Don’t stop… Fuck don’t stop…”

He lets out a raspy moan as your mouth continues to work on him as he tilts his head back a bit. His fingers dig into your hair as he pushes you back down, not letting your head move away from him. The grip on your head becomes tighter and more demanding as he holds you down.

“You really are good at this…” His hands grip your head tightly, letting you feel just how much he’s enjoying this as he lets out a few more sounds. He tries his best to be as quiet as possible since you’re in a parking lot, but it’s becoming harder and harder to not get too loud. As his grip on your head tightens even more, his moans become increasingly louder. He feels like he’s losing himself…

You pull away, taking a shuddering breath as you look up at him with glassy eyes and shiny lips, panting lightly. “Tou-chan, I want you.” 

Touya’s eyes flutter open for a moment as he feels you stop with the sudden movement. Seeing the effects of your ‘experiments’ on you is quite exciting for him as his breath hitches and his heart rate picks up drastically. The grip on your head tightens again as he sees you squirm slightly.

Touya grunts in affirmation as his voice remains raspy, a smugness written all over his face. “I want you too, you little pervert.”

“Sorry…” You pant before a small cheeky grin grazes your features as you had completely forgotten about your previous unsureness. “You just taste so good.”

Touya chuckles softly at your comment, he can’t help it. You’ve clearly changed your mindset after that little ‘testing’ and now you’re a lot more eager. He tilts his head up again, taking in the view of your glassy eyes as you pant faintly, your lips shiny with saliva. The grip on your head remains firm this time though, not moving even slightly as he keeps his gaze on yours.

“You really think so?”

“Yeah,” you pant out, gulping audibly as you nod shakily.

Touya grunts softly as he sees you nod. His gaze shifts down in between your closed thighs for a minute, your wetness clearly evident on your skirt as he shifts in his seat again. The ravenette finally looks up at your face, that smugness back on his lips as he speaks again.

"How much do you want me…? Don't hold back..."

“So much that I want you to be my first,” you suddenly blurt out in the heat of the moment.

“I’ve liked you for years,” you admitted with a small, flushed smile. “It doesn’t matter if we go back to being just friends afterwards, but I really want you to be my first.”

That takes Touya off-guard for a moment, his body momentarily freezing in place from your words. You don't know how long he's waited to hear those words from you. Eventually he exhales and sighs softly with a soft grin. Touya looks down at you again, that smug look never leaving his features. 

"You want me that badly, huh..." He moves closer to you once again, his lips literally within an inch from your own.

“More than anything,” you mumble softly.

Touya smiles at that, that smugness still on his face, but it's mixed with a soft look, showing his adoration for you. The ravenette grins at your words, you sound so cute when you get all steamy like this. It’s something he has been fantasizing about for a while, and it looks like you’ve finally come around.

Touya leans forward the rest of the way and presses his lips fully against yours, the force behind it a bit more this time, as his hand moves to your rear again, giving your buttocks a small squeeze. His other hand grips your neck tighter, keeping you in place as it moves to your hair. Touya leans into it, and this time, he doesn't let you break away. His lips start to move against yours once more.

“I love you,” you mumble breathlessly between hot and steamy kisses.

Touya freezes up for a time as you let out those words. His lips part from yours as he looks down at you. He blinks a bit and slowly takes in what you just said. It makes his heart skip a beat.

After a few seconds, he lets out a small chuckle though it sounds more like a breathless gasp. His grip around you tightens once more as his reply comes out in a raspy, but soft voice.

“I love you too… I love you so much…”

“Please take me,” you speak sweetly with a small pout.

The way you say those words makes your cheeks go red immediately. You can pretty much see the effect these words had on him. You finally confessed to him. You admitted your feelings and told him you want this as much as he does. Touya is speechless, he didn't expect this to end that way, but it definitely did in the best way possible.

He reaches up to your cheek with one hand, rubbing gently over it as he looks down at you with a flirtatious smirk. “Heh… Is that a request or a demand?” 

Touya smirks at your pout, his thumb rubbing on your cheek as he looks at you. You can tell from his tone, he’s enjoying himself. Your response makes him want to tease you even more now.

“I want you inside of me,” you mumble impatiently, your lips jutting out even more.

That’s what he wanted to hear…

He lets out a breath, this is the kind of dirty talk he’s always enjoyed. The way you describe your own needs is hot and definitely makes him desire you more. He lets out a quiet laugh before he responds, the way he spoke was not the same as it used to be before your confession.

“Is that so, now…” Touya’s grip on your rear tightens slightly as he rubs gently on your ass.

With a small smirk, he immediately pulls you towards him, causing your bodies to press tightly against one another as his lips finally make contact with yours. He begins to slowly move his tongue into your mouth. Your kiss slowly grows more intense as he moves his tongue around, exploring your mouth as he holds you close to him.

The sudden switch from your hesitant behavior to this… It’s pretty surprising. With a soft laugh, he pulls away again, his lips curling into a playful grin. 

“That's what you’re asking me for, huh?” He lets out another chuckle as he leans his head close to your shoulder, whispering softly directly into your ear.

You pout slightly, “Quit teasing me.”

“You want me to quit teasing you?” He leans back so that he can look at you again once more as he tilts his head up while speaking with a smug tone.

“Is this adorable brat asking me to stop?” Touya’s grip on you remains tight as he stares at you for a moment. The look on his face says just how much he enjoys playing with you.

“Stop being so mean,” you whine, looking at him with puppy eyes. “Pretty please with a cherry on top.”

“Awww…~” Touya lets out a quiet chuckle as you beg him with those puppy eyes and that whiny tone. Touya can’t resist that look. He finds it so damn adorable. You’re so easy for him to tease.

He keeps his grip on your body tight as he moves his face even closer to yours. You can feel his breath brushing against your neck as he leans against you and whispers his next words.

“That’s not how you beg, you brat…”

“Will you please fuck me?” You beg with wide glassy eyes, batting your lashes to appear cuter. “I need to feel you inside me—to feel that big fat cock rearrange my insides to the point nobody else could ever please me as much as you could.”

Those words coming out of your mouth, and that soft, desperate tone… It drives the ravenette crazy. A loud moan escapes him as he hears you say those words. His grip on your body tightens even more as he lets you go for a moment, to catch his breath. 

Your words are such a turn-on for him. The way you just spoke right now is one he’d only hear in porn, you speak with such filthy language. He swallows thickly as he takes in the effect of your dirty talk. It's so blunt and crude, but so damn hot. That playful begging and your soft, vulnerable tone, it’s quite the combination as he stares at you with a smug smile on his face.

Touya's smile grows wider, almost to the point of being teasingly malicious as he stares you right in the eyes. Your body is so soft, so vulnerable and that tone just makes him want to take you right here and now. His grip around your waist tightens once more as he speaks again, this time with a sinister grin. 

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, you naughty little slut…”

“Just be gentle,” you whisper breathlessly.

The way he was talking with you—in such a degrading manner at that—was making you feel extremely hot. Yet you couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness as you realized that you’re actually about to lose your virginity to your childhood friend/crush.

Your mix of emotions is one that makes him want to take you even harder, to show you how much he wants you. To show you how much he’s desired this for years. 

The ravenette lets out an amused laugh as he hears you ask him to go slowly for you, to be gentle. Oh, that’s rich… But he doesn’t voice his thoughts just yet as he leans up against you again, his eyes staring right into yours as he slowly speaks with a teasing tone.

“Who’s saying you deserve that?”

You pout, tilting your head slightly to the side to make yourself even cuter and more fragile. “Pretty please…?” 

There was a childish lilt in your voice as your lips jutted out even more. “Didn’t you say that you love me too?”

You're doing this on purpose… You have to, there’s no way you’re not. The playful pout and the way you tilt your head to the side, there is no way it’s not on purpose. The way you ask for him to go slow with such a soft tone and the sudden mention of his confession… You’re making him soften up on purpose. You want a nice, soft gesture from him? You’re trying to make that happen. 

Touya sighs softly, knowing full well he’ll cave under the pressure. His lips curl into a teasing smile as his gaze narrows at you. “Am I supposed to say yes to that just because I love you?”

He continues to look at you as he lets out a breath, not yet revealing what his answer will be. Does he intend to go easy or will he just pound you and tear you apart? That's for you to wait for. But you can tell by the grin on his face that you've already gotten through to him. Despite the knowledge, you still nodded affirmatively while flashing him a sickeningly sweet smile to get your way. 

“Very well, you naughty little brat... I’ll go slow for you, since you asked me so nicely…” His reply comes out in a soft tone, with a smirk. He relaxes his shoulders as he stares at you with a smug look, but the moment has finally gotten to him. The way you have to ask him to be gentle makes it feel like you trust him after all.

He runs his tongue on your cheeks once more as he finally leans up against you, taking his time doing this. His tongue slowly makes its way down your neck, causing you to shiver and squirm as he continues licking and kissing your skin. The effect this had on you is quite visible as you breathe heavier and moan quietly.

Touya lets out a soft laugh as he hears you whimper and moan. The way you squirm as his tongue and lips move down your skin...is so damn hot. He slowly reaches his hand on your thigh now, getting even closer to your soft, juicy center.

Touya’s hand moves up to your thigh as it rests close to your wetness. As his tongue and mouth continues to move down your skin, he presses lightly against your thigh for a bit before moving even closer, using his thumb to trace circles around your wetness. The tease makes your whole body move, your mouth opening silently as you start to moan quietly.

“So wet already?” He asks you with a quiet laugh and a teasing smirk.

“I’m just horny,” you complain in a whining tone. “And whose fault is that?”

“My fault? Is that so now?” Touya laughs out, finding this to be both amusing and a bit arousing at the same time. His hand continues to play with your wetness as he traces circles around your thigh and inner thighs, his thumb brushing against your clothed clit briefly before moving upwards again.

“Just one more thing…” Touya smirks as leans in closer, his breath still hot and damp on your neck. His lips once again brush against your ear as he whispers softly once more. 

“Keep your eyes closed when it happens…”

“Okay…” You breathe out, complying to his wishes.

Touya leans back once again, his hands loosening around your waist. He adjusts himself in his seat a little bit before beginning to move his hand back up your thighs, moving over your dress and slowly starting to unbutton it. 

Eventually, after slowly unbuttoning your dress, he reaches the bottom of it. His fingers wrap around the side of your hip as he shifts once again and pulls you closer to him. His other hand slowly makes its way up your thigh as he grabs onto your waist. 

He starts to slowly lift your dress up, pulling it over your thighs and leaving it all bunched up in his hands. His cerulean blue eyes flick down at the sight of you under the dress, slowly revealing it all to him. He finally lays his eyes upon what he’s been waiting for. Your pale, slender thighs and soft smooth skin… The small mound of your womanhood. His eyes practically glowing as they wander to the lace fabric of your panties and back up to your face once again. 

The ravenette’s hand moves over the lace of your panties, gently rubbing at them with his fingers as he watches your cute, flushed face. He’s seen this many times before now, but never has it been this tantalizing… 

“I want to see you,” you mumble softly with a tiny pout, but still keep your eyes closed as he had told you. “Please, let me see you.”

“Hmm… You want to see me, huh?” He chuckles softly as he hears your request. He keeps rubbing his hand over your underwear again, slowly rubbing through your silky skin as he whispers softly once more. 

“But for now, keep your eyes shut… I’ll let you see me soon enough…” You let out a whine, but comply nonetheless.

Touya chuckles softly, his eyes wandering down to your body as his hands continue to slowly rub at your underwear with his fingers. He wants you to focus solely on the feeling of his fingers slowly going through your lace underwear… The slow and steady movement of his fingers as it rubs against your skin. Slowly giving your sensitive parts the heat and attention they crave. 

“So sensitive…” Touya growls as his fingers continue to explore through the thin fabric of your panties. When he notices just how sensitive you are, he begins to apply a bit more pressure as he rubs his fingers over you. 

He keeps this up for a little longer, pressing his fingers against that one spot, the pressure gradually increasing as time goes on. Soon, he can feel the slightest trace of your juices beginning to flow as your breathing becomes a little heavy.

“Mm… Looks like someone’s definitely enjoying this.” Touya chuckles in amusement as his fingers continue to rub at your sensitive spot. He can’t help but bite his lip as he hears your breaths pick up. The sight of you getting wet and excited from his touch is more than enough to get his blood flowing. 

He moves his hands away with a small smirk, his tongue briefly flicking out to lick his lips as he watches you. You let out yet another whine at the loss of contact. Touya laughs once again as your whine grabs his attention. 

“So, you really want more, huh?” Touya's deep voice echoes inside the car as he finally breaks his silence as he leans back towards your neck, taking another glance at the sensitive spot he just made so damp. “I’ll give you more then… Just let me do something first…”

After taking a glance at your damp spot again, he finally decides on giving his fingers a break for now. He slides his hands back down your thighs as he looks back at you once again, noticing that your eyelids are twitching. 

“Tou-chan,” you breathe out in a whining tone. With a raspy laugh, he leans in next to your ear again. His breath is still hot and damp against your skin as the tip of his tongue flickers out once more. 

“Yes?” He murmurs as his cerulean gaze narrows towards you once more, a little grin on his lips as he leans close to you again. This time his voice is even lower and more husky than before. His tongue flickers out one last time to brush against your cheek as it trails down to your neck again, where he begins to nibble on it.

“Just take them off,” you squirm in his grasp, opening your eyes despite not being allowed to do so yet. “I feel so empty.”

“You shouldn’t have opened them… You know that, right?” Touya’s voice is deeper, a bit more sinister but you can still hear the teasing tone. He speaks calmly but firmly, despite you now going against his wishes. You might be in trouble. 

“So you want me to just rip them off and take you right now~?” Touya’s voice has become much more rough. The way he looks at you, you know that all he wants to do is to just break you, to tear you apart and break every single self-control you have to make you beg and whimper for him to stop.

But he knows that you’re too inexperienced for that yet. 

“Opening your eyes like that without me letting you… This is going to have consequences, you know, little brat…”

Touya adds with a teasing smirk, but he’s immediately heeding your words and moves to take your panties off. He slides them lower and lower before taking them away completely. His hands move to the side as he takes a look at you, your face becoming flustered when he takes a look at your beautiful body. Once they’re finally out of the way, your soft folds become visible to his eyes. 

“So...this is what you meant by empty, huh?” Touya’s deep voice echoes inside the car as he gets a look at your body once again. His breath is still hot and damp as his gaze flicks to your folds. “Pretty sensitive aren’t we...? Hm?”

Touya’s fingers move in closer slowly as he traces circles around your slickness once more, this time putting more pressure than before as he begins to rub and play with you.

You tug on his shirt impatiently as you demand, “Take it off.”

“A very impatient little brat you are, huh…” Touya chuckles softly, taking note of the way you tug at his shirt, his teasing and flirty mood changing a bit as his eyes narrow against you.

He doesn’t speak much as he reaches up and pulls it over his head. The moment his bare chest is visible your body seems to be heating up. The air is thick with heat and desire as he finally lets out a breath. 

Your fingers trace his toned chest as you shamelessly ogle him. “You’re so pretty,” you mumble out breathlessly.

Touya gives you a playful smack against the side of your neck as he glances down at you, his tone and expression changing a bit as your hands trace his toned chest. His eyes widening as you compliment him, cheeks becoming a bit red as he glances at you.

“Pretty, am I? You think I’m pretty?” It’s clear that you’ve hit his weak spot as he tries his best to hide his blush.

“Like a piece of poetry,” you breathe out softly.

“Shut it…” Touya’s reply comes out as a playful tone as he gives you another light smack this time across your cheek, but the moment you compliment him his attitude changes a bit.

Touya lets out a breath as he glances elsewhere, not knowing what to say in response to that. You can tell that you caught him off guard with your words of appreciation. He wasn’t used to being complimented like that by anyone, certainly not by the person he had been crushing on since childhood. His cheeks remain a bit red for a reason. 

You position yourself over his bare shaft, gripping his shoulders tightly. “I’m on birth control so…” You trail off, waiting for him to help you.

“So that means…” Touya’s voice trails into a soft and teasing moan as he hears you say those last words. His voice becomes lower and even more husky as he grabs on to your hips, his cerulean eyes once again glance up at your body. His hand moves to your hip as he stares up at you, pupils dilated as he watches you move over his shaft.

“So you want this to be raw…?” Touya’s voice becomes somewhat teasing once again as he looks at you, giving you a playful smirk as he looks between your legs.

He doesn't speak another word as he leans in and bites your shoulder gently before letting out a breath. His hips grind against yours briefly as he gets more riled up with each passing minute.

You swallow thickly, getting equally nervous and excited. “So, am I just supposed to slide down or…?” You ask hesitantly, unsure on how to continue.

“It’s pretty self explanatory, don’t you think?” His voice grows deeper and more hoarse. The ravenette’s hands move to your thighs as he grips onto them, his eyes glancing straight ahead as he moves back against the vehicle’s fabric seats. His mouth moves up to your neck again as he plays with your body even more. His legs shift slightly as he moves himself into a better position. 

That’s your cue to move up to him once more. He’s done pretty much everything to set the scene for you. His hands slowly grip your body as he shifts your hips so it’s easier to enter. He wraps his arms around you and kisses you tenderly on the mouth. 

“Now you know…” Touya smirks against your mouth as he pushes himself against you, causing his tip to graze your folds. His breath is hot and wet as he moves his hips against you again. He moves further back against the car seat before pressing himself against you again, his body making contact with your slickness but not fully inside of you yet.

The sensation of his tip touching your folds makes your body tense. You take a shuddering breath as you let him guide you, the grip on Touya’s shoulders tightening significantly from the intrusion. Biting your bottom lip softly as you did your best to relax your body in order to make the experience less painful and more pleasant.

"S’tight, doll." Touya lets out a rough moan as you tense up, cursing under his breath and keeping his hips still to help you cope with the pain. It takes him a bit longer to notice that you're gripping his shoulders, but as he does he just chuckles gently as he kisses your neck once again.

He begins to slowly move himself against you again, rubbing his tip against your folds as he begins to move deeper slowly.

“W-wait a bit,” you mumble shakely, making Touya stop his movements immediately as soon as you tell him to. The ravenette lets out a small grunt as you halt him for a bit, gritting his teeth as he holds himself still, his grip tight but steady around you. 

“Mm? What’s wrong, doll?” He whispers softly in your ear as he tries to assure you and keep you calm.

“S-sorry…” You flush in embarrassment, tensing your body and trying your best to relax as he tries to inch himself in deeper. Legs shaking and trembling a little as you keep them wide open.. “It’s just hard to relax.”

“Hm… So you’re tense, are you?” Touya chuckles as he speaks in a teasing and flirty tone, though he’s still being cautious and slow as he doesn’t want to hurt you in any way. He wants your first experience with him to be a pleasant one, but that seems to be somewhat difficult at this moment. 

He leans his head on top of yours and whispers softly to you once again. “Relax for me, doll… Just focus on breathing…” Touya’s whisper comes out in a soothing and tender tone. You take a deep breath before slowly sliding further down. 

“There we go… Good girl…” Touya’s voice changes into a soft and tender one once again as his hands let go of your thighs and grasp onto both of your hips, helping you ease your way down into him. His cerulean eyes are fixated on you the entire time as you feel him slide inside of you, inch by inch, slowly and gently.

“Mm… There we go…” Touya’s voice mutters out softly as you slowly take his whole length inside of you, his breath catching in his throat as he feels you fully wrapped around him. 

His body is still for a moment, but his breathing begins to quicken as he feels you adjust yourself to his movements. Another shiver travels down his spine as he feels the wetness inside of you, feeling the intensity as he pushes himself deeper. His fingers move down to grip your hips as he slowly starts to move his hips against yours.

Touya’s breathing becomes even faster as he lets your body adjust to his movements, slowly beginning to thrust deep, his hand now gripping your hips firmly as he moves in and out of you slowly and rhythmically. His other hand gently runs through your hair as he moans out softly. 

“Mm… You’re so tight…” He says with a deep and husky voice as he glances down at you.

Touya’s pace begins to speed up slowly as his breathing grows heavier with each passing minute. He leans down towards you, biting your skin as his hips begin to grind against yours, his thrusts becoming faster and faster. His cerulean gaze glares into yours once more as he watches your body and the way he makes you moan every time he thrust harder and deeper.

“Mm…” Touya’s voice is a bit more hoarse as he moves quickly now, his breathing heavy as you feel yourself filled and stretched out even further. His cerulean gaze meets yours again as his fingers grip yours tightly, his thrusts faster and faster now. 

“Such a tight little hole…” He mutters out breathlessly once again.

“Full,” you moan out. “F-feel so f-full…” You let out a gasp, “S-so big..!”

“Mm~ You really feel me, huh…?” Touya chuckles softly as his fingers grip yours tight. He begins to press his thumbs into your wrists as he thrusts deeper into you and pulls you closer to him. His movements are faster now his breath becomes short and shallow. Each of his thrusts becomes harder and harder as his cerulean eyes glaze over as he moves you closer to the edge. His lips curl up into a small smirk as he watches your reactions closely.

You let out a startled gasp at the change in pace, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. “Th-there! Please keep hitting there,” you moan.

“Oh~ You like that spot, don’t you?” He smirks playfully as he hears you tell him to hit that spot. His thrusts grow rougher, more intense, as he hits your G-spot exactly where you need it. He grips your body even tighter as you feel yourself about to reach your climax. A light sweat begins to coat his body as his cerulean eyes grow glazed, all the while you the tip of his shaft touch that one spot inside of you that makes you moan out.

You nodded shakily, unable to pronounce any words as you kept moaning softly into his neck. He could tell just how good you were feeling as your body was literally reacting to his motions. 

“Mm~ You like that, huh…” His voice grumbles as he moves even quicker inside of you, his thrusts growing even faster as he hits all those sensitive spots.

“Such a good girl… All mine…” He whispers softly before biting your neck once again, leaving a small mark.

Touya lets a breath escape from his mouth, his body shaking a bit as he gets even closer to climax. He grips into your hips tighter than ever before as his body grows tense with each passing moment.

“Y-yes! ‘m all yours!” You moan, gripping his shoulders so tightly as if your life depended on it as you tried to meet his thrusts. “P-please don’t stop! You make me feel so good!”

“Oh~ Such a needy girl…” 

Touya’s lips curve up into a smug smirk as he feels you start to move against him, your body moving in the same rhythm as his own, making it much easier for the two of you to climax. He begins to move his hips even quicker, his breath beginning to quicken as he approaches the precipice. With each passing thrust he felt a bit of himself build up inside of you. He lets out a deep grumbling that tells you exactly how close he is.

“S-so good!” You moan out breathlessly, biting your bottom lip softly as you try to keep up with his pace. You pull away from his neck, breathing heavily as you face him. “K-kiss me, please.”

His lips curve up into a playful grin. “Oh… Are you begging me, doll…?~”

You find that his grip has loosened up just a bit as he holds onto you more loosely now. His free arm moves up to stroke your face as he leans back slightly. Touya then stares into your eyes once more as his cerulean gaze meets yours. His lips curl up into a mischievous smirk once more.

He lets out a breath as he locks his lips on yours, tasting you as his other hand strokes your cheek gently. His caresses move down to your neck once again, rubbing the spot he marked before softly as you continue to make out. The ravenette moves his hips against yours as he’s continuously hitting your G-spot. He bites your lower lip once more as his tongue gently explores your mouth.

The ravenette then lets out a breath as he parts his lips from yours, his breath quickening as he stares at you once again. “God… You’re such a needy little slut… Your tightness is sending me over the edge…” He grips your hips as he thrusts deeper and hits your spot once more, his body twitching as he approaches climax. 

“So c-close-“ you sobbed, tears trailing down your flushed cheeks from the overstimulation, clawing at his back uncontrollably. “N-need to cum…!” 

“A needy girl like you, so quick and so desperate…” His voice is a soft whisper as he begins to thrust even harder now. His cerulean eyes glaze over as he smirks and bites your bottom lip as you clawed at his back. His body twitches and quivers slightly as he feels you getting into a frenzy.

His hand strokes your cheek slowly as he feels your body tense up even more. He lets out a rough groan as your nails start to dig deeper into his shoulders as you claw at his skin. “C’mon, sweetheart…c’mon… Just a bit more…”

A soft shudder runs down his spine as his hips thrust into you deeply. He feels you tightening around his shaft, indicating that you are approaching your climax. “Fuck, almost there… Just a little bit more…”

“Feeling it?” He whispers softly, his arms wrap around your body tightly as he grips the back of your neck and pulls you back into another kiss. All you can do is moan into his mouth as he keeps hitting that one spot. 

He breaks the kiss again after a little bit, breathing heavily as he looks at you once again. He sees your body react to his movements and how your body trembles and quivers with each moment. His grip tightens around you as he whispers softly, 

“Ready?” He rasps out as he keeps hitting the spot consistently, not bothering to change up his routine or increase the pace even. He waits for your answer, still not moving his hips faster despite how much you’re clearly enjoying it. 

“F-for what…?” You ask confusedly.

He can’t help but grin slightly as he sees how confused you are. How clueless and lost into the moment of pleasure you are. His eyes shift to your mouth briefly as he asks you softly: 

“To finish…” He says it just vague enough that it can be taken as anything but he keeps slowly moving and hitting that exact spot as he waits for you to understand what he means. Your mouth forms into an ‘oh’ shape in realization as you let out a moan. He lets out an amused laugh as you moan and realize what he meant.

”Yes!” You moan out. “So close, Tou-chan! Please don’t stop!”

His body tenses even more and he groans as he feels your grip tighten around his shoulders. He kisses your neck even more as he moves with both of your movements, slowly taking you back and forth between his own pace and your own rhythm. He whispers softly as his body continues to grow hotter with your sounds.

“You feel so fucking good…” His voice is still calm but he’s growing more and more breathless with each minute and moment you keep pressing against him and moving against him. He can feel himself getting close.

Touya lets out a raspy groan as he continues to kiss your neck and keeps up with your movements. He picks up the pace even faster as it feels like you’re reaching your peak. His grip becomes tighter as he continues to drive himself into you. 

“A-almost—fuck… Keep it up…”

He closes his eyes for a few seconds, taking deep breaths as he tries to gain control over just how much his body is reacting. After a bit, he opens his eyes again and presses his body into you. His breath has gone back to being steadier and slower, but he still holds you firmly and keeps moving slowly, but firmly. He kisses your neck again as he whispers softly to you. 

“How you feelin’…?”

“Like I’m about to burst…” You gasp out.

He moans roughly as he watches you writhe and squirm under his grip. He sighs softly as he speeds up slightly, your response and movements make him want to speed up even more, but he ignores the urge of letting himself go all out.

“Don’t let go just yet…” He rasps out, his voice already beginning to become breathy as he moves more and more into you, his grip keeping you firmly in his hold as his movements become faster. “Hold it in for a bit longer.”

He can feel you tensing and quivering under his grip as he feels your body starting to twitch more and more. His grip around your waist is still firm and his body heat grows with each moment as he speeds up again. He keeps his pace for just a little bit longer before he grips your waist tighter with his one arm while he lets go of your back with his free hand. He leans forwards and meets your mouth once again, taking control of the kiss with his tongue.

His body relaxes a little bit while he’s kissing you as his body heat grows hotter and hotter. His grip is tight around you as he keeps pushing and pushing you even more. He can feel your body starting to tense and quiver even more as you grip his back and waist tightly. He can see how much you’re struggling to hold it in, and just when it looks like you’re reaching your peak, he pulls back slightly and whispers into your ear, his breath coming out quick and sharp.

Touya’s voice sounds breathless and breathy when he whispers to you, he feels the tip of his tongue slowly rubbing your ear as it teases you, his grip on your waist and back becoming even tighter as he keeps pushing into you more.

“Almost…” Touya breathes out sharply, pulling his waist away from you slightly. The ravenette breaks the kiss and licks your ear one more time before pulling back even further. His cerulean blue eyes watch you squirm even more as your body tests your limits. He sees your twitching, quivering and tense body as he grips the front of your thighs and squeezes them as he whispers softly to you. 

You moan out loudly as you finally reach your peak. Your body explodes in pleasure as pleasure spreads throughout it, flooding your senses as you twitch strongly and your body quivers more. Your tight grip on his body finally lets go as you squirm underneath his grip. 

“T-Tou-chan!” It’s more of a cry then it is a moan of pleasure. He pushes deeper into you, finally reaching his climax as he grunts softly. 

“Goddamn…” He lets out a final groan as he relaxes once he finally reaches his own peak. He leans in and kisses you one more time before pulling out, breathing heavily.

The ravenette leans back as he lets a breath escape from his mouth. His cerulean gaze meets yours once more as he glances down at you with a small smirk on his face.

“Did you enjoy that, doll…? Was I too rough with you?” He whispers softly, his hand rubs your thigh gently.

“A bit…” You pant softly, cheeks flushed as you snuggled against him. “But I…liked it.”

“Hm… You liked it…?” He lets out a low, husky chuckle as he leans his body back against the car door, his body tired yet satisfied now. “I guess you like it rough, don’t you…? You little naughty girl…”

You let out a soft, tired giggle at his implication. “Can’t believe I lost my virginity in a car that’s parked near a party with my childhood best friend turned boyfriend.”

“Is it weird to say that I find that a bit hot…?” He whispers softly back to you as he glances at you once more with a sly smirk on his face. 

You let out an amused snort, “You’re such a horndog.”

“And you aren’t…?~” Touya smirked playfully as he teased you again, causing you to bite your bottom lip as you found yourself unable to find a retort. 

“You’re not wrong.” 

The ravenette chuckles softly once more as he glances at you again, his cerulean eyes glancing at you with a more teasing and flirtatious look to them. His hand moves back to stroke across your cheek as he leans back against the car door himself. 

“I’m going to take it that you really enjoyed it…” He says as he teases you some more as he chuckles once more. “You feel tired…?” 

“A bit.” You mumble softly, nuzzling your face against his chest comfortably. “But I don’t wanna sleep naked in your car.”

“Hm…” The ravenette ponders your request for a moment as he looks at you, deciding if he should grant it to you or not. “We can skip the party and…”

He lets a breath escape from his mouth before he gives you a playful smirk. “Just go back to my place. Sounds good?”

“Sounds nice,” you mumbled contentedly. “But next time there’s a party, we have sex only afterwards.”

“Good to know, doll…” Touya smirks in amusement. He then pulls his pants back up and fixes his other clothes before he looks back at you. “Need any help fixing up yours…?”

“Yup,” you nodded, stretching out your hands before grabbing your panties, pulling them on slowly before putting on your bra. 

“Can you help me with the dress?” You ask, tilting your head slightly.

Touya’s lips curved up into a small, playful grin as he watched you put on your own panties and your bra first. “Sure,” he says with a nonchalant shrug. 

He wraps his arms around you from behind as he helps you put your dress on again, helping you with the straps on the back of your dress before helping you zip your dress up again. His lips tilt into an amused smirk as he chuckles a bit. “It looks good on your body, I have to say…”

“I just remembered that you didn’t compliment me when you saw me in it,” you huffed as you heard his comment.

He lets out a deep chuckle as he finally helps with you putting your dress back on completely. After that he pulls his arm back and sighs softly. A teasing smirk still stays plastered on his lips. “I was probably too focused on how much I wanted to take it off of you…”

“But, now that you mention it… It does look good. It compliments you very well,” Touya says with a bit of an aloof tone. His smirk widens even more as he adds to it with, “It really does hug your body… Quite the good sight~”

You let out an amused snort, “Have I ever mentioned that you’re an asshole?” 

Touya lets out a snicker before whispering softly in your ear as he leans forward and nuzzles your neck once more. “And yet here you are, falling for me…” You pout with your usual bratty attitude as he says this with a smug smirk, looking soft and playful as he teases you. He chuckles and nods his head as he turns on the engine.

“Now, let’s get out of here so I can finally fuck you in every position that I’ve imagined, but couldn’t, since we were friends.” 

[olderthannetfic]

There is something confusing to me about older queer people (which is to say, older than I am, at a relatively young 24 years old) who get mad at original fiction whose worldbuilding involves neopronouns. I'm hoping maybe, ONTF, since you've been in queer spaces a lot longer than I have, you can explain why people have such a negative reaction to the idea.

Basically, I'm working on a novel based that takes white-throated sparrow biology and uses it for building blocks in the same way A/B/O takes (now debunked) wolf science and used it for building blocks. This means there are essentially four genders, the two viewed as more intelligent (brown-haired men and women) and the two viewed as more physical (white-haired men and women). Those two groups then get further divided along the lines of 'women are better at making smart decisions under pressure' and 'men are better at staying home and defending the children, as God intended'.

So it seemed natural to me that this worldwide quaternary system would result in at least some languages having pronoun sets for each of the four options. Some languages in real life have more complicated pronoun systems than that, particularly ones where there's a bunch of formal and informal pronouns. It'd also help the reader keep track of who was a part of what group without my having to turn around and state people's coloration constantly. Yes, these people are human, just as humans in A/B/O are, but society is fundamentally very different. I'm not throwing this in to just complicate things or sound smart or something. It's here because my minoring in Anthropology and majoring in Linguistics taught me language usage reflects the needs and values of a people.

The writing group I'm a part of IRL is mostly queer, mostly 40+, with some cishet women who are also present and active writers. The writing group I'm a part of on DW is mostly DWRPers, in their 30's and up, though no older than 50, and entirely queer. I did not expect these to be groups that were uncomfortable with the idea of "different world, different pronouns".

Instead the reception has ranged from suggestions it's pretentious or overthinking things to requests I reconsider doing it. I've been informed this could be seen as mocking the real life queer people who go by pronouns other than she, he, or they. One person asked if this was went to be me "artificially justifying" nonbinary pronouns and implying I didn't find them valid in the real world. That was an awkward conversation, to say the least.

In reality I wasn't really thinking about real life people who use nonbinary pronouns when I was writing. I was just asking, "Logically, wouldn't it make sense for things to work very differently under a quarternary than it does under a modern European binary?" and following my brain along to its' conclusions as it processed that.

I have gotten zero negative feedback from my queer friends my age regarding this. So obviously, generation and the experiences informing a generational context are key, here. I'm just... still lost on how anyone finds this objectionable.

Help?

--

Ahaha. Oh god.

Well, as a reader of sff in the 90s, the first reaction I have to such things is "IS THERE A CONLANG AND A MAP?" Because, man, the conlang people were some of the most tedious motherfuckers I ever had to deal with in sff spaces.

But broadly... I think the reasons queer people get annoyed about this stuff boil down to a couple of big factors:

Disrespectful children who don't know history

Idiot old people harrumphing about "history" they clearly failed to pay attention to while it was going on in the first place

I personally hate being asked to use new words most of the time. A few bits of fandom slang I'll pick up at once, but I'm usually like "Why would I call it 'spirk'? We already have 'K/S'!" *shakes cane*

If you're American, they're your "roommate", not your "flatmate". No, I don't care how much more precise this foreign term is, you pretentious wanker. (But then I'll use 'wanker' because fandom adopted that years ago...)

So my reaction to being asked to say aloud any pronoun not in very frequent circulation in my offline life is "Urrrgh. Do I have to?"

However, the reality is that people have been messing around with pronouns in English since forever. Do you see 'heo' in Modern English? No, you do not! (Not that it was gender neutral, but the point is that even words as ancient as pronouns have changed quite a bit.) The early internet was full of pronoun stuff in MUDs and the like. You had a choice of a lot more than just three in a bunch of these. People besides men and women have always been in queer communities.

So some people like to cry about neopronouns being actually neo, and they're just wrong.

As for the why do you care part...

There is a nasty habit in contemporary queer spaces to act like gay rights issues are solved. Bisexuality? Passe! etc. Gays and lesbians finally got a little mainstream acceptance only to suddenly be treated like the worst of the establishment by the queer youth. How dare?!?! It's even more egregious with bisexuality where the focus of a bunch of queer activism finally swung that way in the 90s... only to be sharply cut off in the 00s.

There's a real "You already got yours. Where's mine?" vibe to some queer discourse today, and it's directed at people who never got theirs. It shows up in demands for mentorship by people who've barely had a chance to escape a rocky start and figure out who they are themselves. It shows up in yowling about this or that bit of queer media we finally got not being progressive because it's the wrong letter of the acronym.

None of which has a damn thing to do with what pronouns you use in your novel, obviously, but I think some unresolved embattled feelings are why some older queer people are very weird about pronouns.

Some of them are also doing the old person version of throwing the weirdos under the bus to placate the normies. Respectability politics became a term long before the behavior was rife on tumblr.

--

If someone really does find it pretentious, though, and not just as a cover for crying about nonbinary identities being fake, I suspect they just remember how 1970s SFF was full of privileged anthropology students misunderstanding kinship systems from elsewhere in the world and then trying to tell everyone how ~deep~ their extremely contrived novels based on them were.

I'm not saying your writing is like this or that every one of these old sff novels was either, but when I hear "anthropology student", I groan internally. It's an instinctive reaction. It's less about the real fields and more about the bevvy of dilettantes I've run into over the years who'll say they study those things but really want to talk my ear off about Joseph fucking Campbell or the strong form of the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis or something.

--

Those birds are a really cool source of inspiration. Like with A/B/O, the first thing I wonder is how queerness works in that context and how much people like to defy their designated roles.

Omegaverse started on porn logic, so "The one I say tops always tops!" makes sense. When it gets expanded to try to make it make logical sense as a whole world, I often enjoy it, but it can break down quickly if treated as biology is law. I don't know how often the birds veer off of their set patterns, but humans certainly would.

One place where I get a strong "Oh god, this again" feeling from people's plotbunnies is when they're trying to make up a sff society that strikes me as too rigid in a way that real humans aren't. I'll see people using fake wolf biology (not just for horny reasons) but never looking at what's going on with gender in contemporary Thailand or whatever. Like... Le Guin may have made sedoretus feel plausible, but nobody I've ever seen stanning the concept as something fandom should play with has. That's probably because Le Guin was using over-complicated social norms as a thing that breaks down and causes trouble, and "This should be the next A/B/O!" posts are treating it as something that actually works and is a good way to get the pair you don't ship separated while shipping poly.

"It'd also help the reader keep track of who was a part of what group without my having to turn around and state people's coloration constantly."

This, in particular, gives me that cold shudder of recognition from when Homestuck fandom was everywhere and everyone wanted to over-explain those stupid playing card suits and why I should care.

Your concept sounds neat, and I think a set of four pronouns could easily make sense there...

But I also think that if people need the pronouns to keep track of coloration, you haven't set up a system that feels organic enough or haven't given enough cues about how characters are treating each other or why. Use the pronouns too, but just keep that in mind. It's like the "m/m is hard because the pronouns don't tell me whose hand is where" problem. It's almost never actually a pronoun problem.

--

Anyone else have thoughts here?

[yamujiburo]

I'm so thankful for you sharing the importance of protecting minors from sexual content. My parents and I didn't have much knowledge back then and I was exposed to this kind of stuff too early. I developed bad habits. I somehow deceived my family into trusting me way too much and, when I saw I had lost control and I asked for help, I saw my family was also hurt and they spent a lot on therapy and my anxiety medication. I have forgiven them for not knowing back them. But I still haven't forgiven myself for getting them through all that stuff. It's important to understand how much we need to protect minors from sexual content. Family members and artists, please pay attention to the content young audience is exposed to.

Of course! I can relate a lot to this. My parents were really good at monitoring what I was doing online for a while but they started trusting me more and I unfortunately started seeing a lot of stuff I shouldn't have but would keep it secret. Gonna talk about my experience a lil bit under the cut just bc I've been reflecting on it a lot recently (tw for grooming)

I gained a following of around 25K on deviantart by the time I was around 15/16. It was in the worst fandom too (mlp). I'd have a lot of much older men talking to me, drawing/writing nsfw of my characters who were underaged (they'd draw nsfw of myself and my sonas as well). It was so normalized for me and I didn't see anything wrong with it at the time.

I'd shipped Spike and Rarity at the time (very much do not anymore) and adult men would use that ship as a basis for trying to talk to me or get in a relationship. "We're just like Sparity! You're young but you're very mature for your age, so it's fine." I remember one guy trying REALLY hard to try and get me to move in with him. I was pretty creeped out then, but like holy shit that's SUPER creepy and I'm fortunate that he didn't keep trying after I gave him a hard "no".

It bled into my real life a bit when I met a 22 y/o man who asked me out when I was just 16 just turning 17. Luckily the relationship was NOT long lasting (I think he realized that I'm a very boring person LMAO) but I think about how I thought that that was a perfectly normal. I'd date go on to date people who were probably too old for me.

Also around when I was 16/17, people started shipping me with another artist in the fandom who was several years older than I was (side note: nothing wrong with an age gap! but it's very not okay when there's "waiting" for someone to be of legal age involved). I did end up dating said artist after I turned 18 and it was fine, I wasn't hurt or anything but I did find weird that we were shipped when I was still a teenager looking back (there was also nsfw drawn of us together before/when we were dating)

I just had such a warped sense of reality for a long because of this shit. I'm glad there's more conversations about this stuff and it's more known that adults should have little to no personal interaction with kids on the internet and vice versa. There's way too many stories of kids getting taken advantage of in fandom spaces. I think I got off fairly lucky all things considered. But bottom line YES kids need to be protected online and their exposure to sexual content/adult spaces should be limited or monitored. It's also really tough though because not all kids have adults in their real life that they can trust or go to to ask questions about sex so they seek solace in adults online and it's just a constant cycle.

I'm honestly unsure of what to do about that and I don't have all the answers but I ultimately just don't want kids online to end up in similar positions I was in when I was younger. I just do my best

[gasolinerainbowpuddles]

I'm here to share another brave yet controversial take.

(This is strictly about smut in fics - not plot points, characterizations, etc.)

I think there is a fundamental difference in how different ages interact with smut in fics. In my personal experience and preference, the hottest smut I've read has come from writers whose bios say 30+ or from writers who are close to that age. I think there are factors that contribute to this:

LIFE EXPERIENCE — This doesn't strictly mean number of partners (although I do believe that helps). The older you are, the more people you've come across, and this builds a bigger worldview that allows for nuance and a more understanding of how things move and interplay. It exposes you to more interpersonal dynamics, which are a huge part of sexuality imo.

SCIENCE — Our brains aren't done cooking until around 25. This means logic, decision making, patience, thinking things through, not letting emotions be the driving force behind our actions, etc. don't really solidify until we're well into our formative adult years. This ties into my first point in regards to how a person navigates their world, and there is a different level of understanding that comes with a fully developed brain.

SEXUAL PRIME — Late 20s to mid 40s is considered to be the sexual peak for women (I'm focusing on women because fic writing is mostly women). Heightened sexual fantasies and experiences align with women in that age range, and I think that is an essential factor in creating fantasies that are more erotic and visceral through writing. There is also a confidence that comes with knowing what you want, what you like, how to get those things, comfortability in expressing your sexuality and actively utilizing it, etc.

CRAFT EXPERTISE — Many of the 30ish year old writers I have seen have written for numerous other fandoms over the span of at least a decade, sometimes more. When you've been doing something for that long, it makes sense that their works would be more finely tuned in content and prose.

INTEREST — Writing fic takes a lot of time and effort - emotional and mental. If someone is around the age of 30, chances are they've got more on their plate than someone younger. Maybe they've got more job responsibilities because they've moved up to a managerial position. Maybe they've had a kid or two. Maybe they have dogs and a partner they live with and have to tend to those things in addition to whatever else going on. My point is, somebody who has a lot going on in their life and still makes the effort to write and share fic HAS TO have a strong desire to do it because it is very time consuming.

I'm sure there are more points that I've left out, but this is just what came to mind immediately. I've seen a lot of weird ageist takes on who "should be" writing smut, as if you suddenly stop being horny when you hit 24 or something.

In all honesty, maybe readers who don't enjoy smut written by 30ish year old writers just aren't ready for it? Maybe if you're 19, you're not going to resonate with someone who is in a later point in their life because you haven't come to that maturity yet? And, no, that's not me saying you can't enjoy it because you're "immature." I'm saying you're not there in your life yet, so it's perfectly fine to prefer works from someone who is more of a peer to you.

So perhaps if you find yourself age shaming, applying morality to sexuality, and denigrating fic writers who are 30ish+, maybe just stick with reading fic and smut by people who are where you're currently at in life?

[demonslayerunhinged]

Unhinged rant >:(

Demon Slayer fandom discourse

I want to start this by saying, I know that Demon Slayer isn't an explicitly queer manga/anime because Shōnen Jump, but I believe that Demon Slayer is for the queers and has lots of themes that we can identify with like love, acceptance, loss, guilt and strength.

Despite what these stupid, smelly, ignorant, power-scaling, non-ass-washing, Cheetos-dust-snorting, once-a-month-showering, dude-bros would have you believe, Demon Slayer isn't just another battle Shōnen anime/manga, it's a love story and about the perseverance of the human spirit and if that doesn't speak to the queer experience then I don't know what does.

Plus, I don't know how Gotogue-sensei is as a person, but I think the fact that she managed to make one of the kindest mcs in shōnen speaks volumes about her disposition. I don't think she would be one to reject queer fans identifying with her story so well.

In these recent times, it seems like everything is going to shit, the world is slowly regressing into the dark ages destroying decades of progress and trying to distract ourselves from all this by engaging with the fandoms we love is hard because everything seems to cater to cis, straight, white men.

To be honest, I created this blog mostly out of spite, but I also wanted to carve out a tiny space for myself where I can talk out of my ass and not have some decrepit reddit dude bro go all 'well, ackshually ☝🤓' on me, and I'm happy to have met so many like-minded people.

So, I've compiled a list of answers to the common types of nonsense drivel these fuckers post in response to shipping and queer discussions and theories about Demon Slayer. You can copy and paste whenever and wherever you encounter these black holes of ignorance and stupidity if you want.

In the Taisho era, there were no gay/queer people: This is one of the dumbest statements I've ever heard, and the fact that it's a really common response really shows how we've failed as a society. Queer people have existed for ages all over the world, Japan has an extensive queer history. Demon Slayer is based on samurai culture and samurai culture was really, really, really, really, really, really, really gay. Sure, it had rigid roles, but that doesn't make it any less queer. A quick Google search would go a long way to nourish that dried-out, shrivelled husk you call a brain. Go read a book you walking condom ad, your parents and education system have obviously failed you.

It's forcing sexuality into the story: We literally had a whole season dedicated to the mcs going to the 'entertainment district', we have a sexy man with three wives who talks about 'loving' them all equally, we have the abundant male fanservice, one of the mcs talks about women on the daily, we have a boy who eats demons and is horny shy around girls all the time, we have his brother who exposes his tits because he's proud of them, we have a demon who was essentially a sexual predator that targeted 16-year-old girls and ate them, the main villain shape-shifts into a woman to 'get' information as a Geisha, we have a girl who literally lusts after almost everyone she meets but yea no lets not force sexuality into it 🙄.

I don't care: Okay cool, but I value your opinion as much as I value the shit I took this morning.

It's who they are as a character that matters: Sexuality is a part of a person's character. Your sexuality defines your experiences, decisions, options and outlook on life. That's why you as a straight man can be so ignorant.

It's forced*(I really hate this one): Honestly, fuck you. Why is it that you only think something is forced when it doesn't revolve around you and your experiences? You guys are fine with tons of anime/manga that sexualize women and girls to an insane degree even when it doesn't make sense, but that doesn't stop you from consuming and glazing the hell out of the authors, but when we talk about including queer characters suddenly it's forced? Your existence is forced, and you can just eat shit.

I don't like it: Who the fuck do you think you are dictating how other people consume and interpret the media they consume? How about you go hump your smelly, cum-encrusted anime body pillow.

Men can be touchy/emotional with each other without it being gay, it's just our western standards: No it isn't the majority of shipping activities and works come from Japan, which wouldn't happen if it was just part of their culture. We're not stupid, we know men and boys can be friends without it being sexual, and we know when a friendship is just that, and then we know when two guys are straight up pining for one another.

It's not canon/the mangaka didn't explicitly state it: They can't because of Shōnen Jump, so a lot of them pass off information about a character through subtext, metaphors and allegories. They also don't have to, things don't have to outright stated or 'canon' for them to make sense and if you need them to be so for you to understand or enjoy the story then a moment of silence for your head since it's without a brain.

It's not common: Despite Shōnen Jump, there are lots of mainstream anime/manga that have queer characters: One Punch Man, Hunter x Hunter, Dr. Stone, Windbreaker, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Naruto, Gintama, Dragon Ball Z, My Hero Academia, Fairy Tail, One Piece, Attack on Titan, Tokyo Ghoul, Jujutsu Kaisen, Chainsaw Man, Blue Period and that's not to talk of the ones with queer subtext like I dunno ALL Sports anime/manga to ever exist!

Why do you look for LGBTQ in everything?: It might be hard for straights to understand but growing up queer and looking for a connection causes us to develop what we call a gaydar that helps us identify characteristics, mannerisms, features and vibes from a person that screams 'ONE OF US! ONE OF US!'. It's only natural, and our gaydar doesn't suddenly turn off when we're consuming media, especially when it's media that we love and hold dear to our hearts. It doesn't matter if the mangaka inserted these characteristics intentionally or not, that doesn't stop us from picking up on them, and why should it?

Shipping is stupid: So is power-scaling, but that doesn't stop you assholes from making thousands of posts, creating YouTube channels and sharing content about it and cramming it down our throats. It's even worse because it's from grown-ass men.

The characters have no chemistry/they hate each other: A lot of queer ships have more chemistry, history, interactions, personality and development than a lot of 'canon' straight couples. It's literally a trope in media that all a man and a woman need to be in a relationship is to be in close proximity to each other, then their relationship goes on to be drier than salted crackers in silicone packets scattered in the Sahara desert. Well, I guess you can't blame the creators, you write what you know after all.

I know this is a lot and I know how angry I sound right now, but I'm so sick and so tired of all these guys who are as useful to the human race as pieces of freshly shat out dog turds that have been thrown in the grass by the sidewalk in a hot summer afternoon, who can't see past their lice-infested neck beards trying to make something as colorful, interesting, joyful and queer as anime and the fandoms fit their own boring, stupid and misogynistic worldview.

In Conclusion, Demon Slayer is amazing, horny* and unbelievably queer.

*I'm talking about the male fanservice btw :)

[disregardcanon]

this probably seems like a weird question from your end,but why do fanfic writers care so much about comments? aos already tracks hits and likes, sorry ""kudos"", so why are comments such a big deal to the point that people will stop writing?

okay, so i'm going to take this question very seriously and i promise it's not to make you feel bad. this is a comprehensive explanation of reasons that comments are important for me, both as a writer and as a reader

engagement vs numbers game

seeing trends

buy-in

community building

engagement vs numbers game

let's look quickly at two different fics of mine. this is the kudos count for a fic called Of First Kisses and Burnt Lips

it's old. it's been up on ao3 for almost 11 years now. 258 people liked it enough to leave a kudos, 12 people liked it enough for a bookmark, and it's been clicked on 3,859 times.

i have no clue what almost any of these people on ao3 THINK about it. beyond "huh. sure. i'll kudos that". compare this to its crosspost on ffn, where i got 5 reviews

3/5 mention it being cute. 3/5 give appreciation to me for taking the time to write it. 2/5 praise the writing itself from the attention to detail with grammar to the craft. 1/5 is an "um..." which is hard to decipher but appreciate and 1/5 is a silly reaction, but it's a reaction! look, someone felt a felling reading my thing! that made me giggle!

looking at the stats here from a purely numbers perspective, my fic DID better on ao3. it got a lot more kudos than it ever got faves or reviews on ffn. but those ffn comments are still what i think about when i remember this fic.

sure, a shear number like hits or kudos can be comforting and motivating. i'm definitely not telling you to NOT leave kudos! but the fics that i've come back to, recently, are the ones where i don't have a lot of kudos but i do have a few people who are invested in the stories and leaving comments to tell me

2. seeing trends

lets look at a few of the comments on my fic The Maid of Honor Made Them Do It

so just in these two comments, we see both commenters hone in on the same detail: my choice to include a special christian music playlist that this characters' friends made for her. a few other people in this thread mentioned that same detail, so i know this bit really worked well! it's great feedback that lets me know that a good chunk of readers agree with my characterization here.

these readers zoom in on specific details that they really liked! things that made them laugh, the absurdity of the concept, enjoying reading it, and that they could see it staged, which is a HUGE compliment for a work in a fandom for theater.

i've always had trouble with imaging where characters are in a space, how they're occupying it and moving, and how to use that for characterization purposes. however, i got more than one comment on this fic about how people could see it staged! that means that i'm improving in an area that i've always struggled with. that's huge. it makes me want to keep working on this thing! it makes me feel like what i'm doing here matters, because lots of people are picking up on similar things! they're invested enough to give me a comment! and it makes me want to keep writing for the hatchetfield fandom because some people are invested in my work here. that is BIG! seeing trends in the way that readers experience your story helps a lot with writer buy-in for a project and also for writers self-analysis.

as a commenter: this helps me JUST as much. when i really dig into what i enjoyed about a fic to tell the writer about it, that helps me analyze and articulate the strengths and things i might want to take away from the storytelling, and that makes my writing better too!

3. buy-in

this is a comment on a series that has less than 100 kudos across three fics, but has thoughtful, appreciative comments on each work. it's called Melting Pot

the commenter deleted their ao3 account. they may be one of the people who commented on the next fic, which i posted recently. they might NOT have been! honestly, it doesn't matter that much to me. this person gave me a gentle and nudge about a fic that matters to me and mattered to them at the time, and they were part of the push i needed to get back to it.

from a commenter perspective, i know that hearing a kind word can help someone keep up their motivation to write, even when i can't write in depth comments the way that i like to!

just recently i only had the time to comment "nice update" on a favorite fic of mine called Teeth That Turn. but they know that i come and i read and they know and talk to me by (user)name. because they know i care about this thing they care about! and it's way more fun to do something like this when i know i can chat with the author about theories and thoughts and ideas. and this isn't a "wow aren't i so cool other writers like me! tehehe" bragging thing, it's just evidence for the case of why comments matter?

if i didn't want this to be a two way buy-in, i'd ONLY read published fiction, you know? we're all playing in the sandbox on the playground and i like what they made. they like that i like what they made :) we're scheduling a play date to fight with sticks after school my mom said it's okay!

4. community building

now i know that i just mentioned above here why i like being a commenter and how it helps authors, as well as why i like HAVING commenters as an author. i'm still arguing those things as a lead up to this section, where i have two other points to make about community building here too.

1. you can comment on OTHER comments! if you go through and read to see what other people are saying, you can agree with them. you can add some commentary! sometimes you can make a joke! and i've only ever had fun responses from something like that. authors tend to love that their fics are getting such a response that people are talking to each other about it! like look!!!!!! my thing got you to talk to someone else about it holy shit?!??!

2. commenting on fics in your fandom builds you a good reputation and makes other authors you comment on more likely to read YOUR fic. i'm not going to post any screenshots on this one because it would be embarrassing for everyone involved, but there have been authors that i really admired who gave my stuff a try after i commented on theirs. and they've told me that's why they tried it! like obviously it's not just networking or whatever, but it's really nice to have someone give your stuff a try because you've been enthusiastic and thoughtful about theirs.

and you make friends this way! fandom friends! who want to talk about your blorbos! you get to go on little play dates in cyberspace with cool people who like what you like. you don't ever HAVE to be a writer, of course. if you don't want to throw your hat into the ring or make art or edits or gif sets or anything, that's cool. no one ever has to participate in fandom outside of their comfort zone! but if you want to, you know that you'll feel more welcomed if you have some people in your corner for it, and making friends in a space, screaming about how much you love the characters you love, and remembering that fic authors especially are just fans too will help you feel like you "deserve" to exist in the space. maybe you don't write, but you go here too. you've got a space in the fandom and your comments don't have to be, like, perfect literary essays for authors to appreciate them and get a motivation boost from them still existing and us being able to go back to them and go!!! look!!! i don't suck!!! this person liked what i did so i'm okay! :)

[bengiyo]

Hi, i'm a newish bl drama watcher from thailand that just started watching thai bls. i'm a bit ashamed to say that for a long time as a gay man living here i've been avoiding bl shows like the plague cuz of both the fandom reputation and of misconception from my yaoi era which i leave far behind. i'm just want to ask how did you got into watching thai bls and what were you preconception before you got into it.

Welcome to the Tumblr side of BL fandom. I'd actually like to also hear more of your experience with yaoi and BL as a gay person growing up in Thailand if you're willing to share.

For me, I'm a Black American from the Gulf Coast (the South). I grew up in a Catholic city and spent my entire adolescence in the closet. Despite having a sense of who I was as early as 8 years old, I kept most of that to myself. Because I didn't talk about it much with people, I found out most information about queer media and queerness from the internet.

I entered BL via queer cinema. I think the first explicitly gay character that I remember from TV was Marco from Degrassi: The Next Generation. There were probably others, and definitely more subtle expressions, but when I think about the oldest gay character I remember and connect to, it's Marco. I don't like counting things like shipping Shawn and Corey on Boy Meets World or Tai and Matt on Digimon for oldest gay characters. Sailor Moon can't even count because we got a censored version of it in America.

I got access to satellite television away from observing eyes around age 16 and started watching content on Logo back when they aired gay content regularly. I watched basically whatever I could late at night. It's how I saw movies like Get Real (1998), Beautiful Thing (1996), and Bent (1997). It's also how I saw Queer as Folk (2000-2005) Noah's Arc (2005-06).

After hitting adulthood I mostly got lost in video games and standard American TV for a while, but I did basically show up to any Gay Event in TV. I appreciate that Stef and Lena from The Fosters (2013-2018) were some of the only TV lesbians to survive the horror of 2016.

I watched a bunch of movies in this time, many of which appear on the Queer Cinema Syllabus I made for a hypothetical Westerner new to BL and queer cinema, which @wen-kexing-apologist has decided to try to complete.

I got into Thai BL in 2018 accidentally. I started seeing gifsets of Kongpob telling Arthit he'll make him his wife passing around Tumblr and was basically like, "Right, what's all this then?"

I had watched a few Thai gay films, mostly notably Love of Siam (2007), Bangkok Love Story (2007), How to Win at Checkers Every Time (2015), and The Blue Hour (2015), but this was the first time I was seeing a long series made available so easily from any Asian country.

From there I got into Make It Right (2016-17) and Love Sick the series (2014). Once I realized that yaoi had moved beyond manga and a few anime adaptations, I went looking for a lot more. I basically haven't left since I started in about 2016 with SOTUS.

There's my basic entry into the genre. I don't think I was as worried about fandom and worries at the time because so much of being a fan of queer cinema was a mostly-private experience for me for so long. I didn't realize that BL fans active in the space would predominantly be women or queers figuring themselves out. It took a while to adjust to that, and also to adjust my expectations of the kinds of queer stories BL distributors were willing to fund.

That being said, I tend to agree with @absolutebl that BL has a useful role in normalization for non-queer audiences who encounter it. I like cheering BL when it does things I think work really well, and also deriding it when I think it does things that are offensive to help nudge the genre and offer my perspective as a gay man.

I like the place we're at right now where there's way too much to watch for any person with other hobbies and responsibilities because it means that people can pick and choose what's to their tastes.

More often than not, I'm probably most-invested in something airing from Japan because of my melancholy nature, but there's so much variety these days that it's okay if you don't like everything. I certainly don't!

I'm glad you joined us on Tumblr and look forward to your thoughts!

[yomigaere]

Regarding Touga's age in flashbacks

Touga appears as a child in two significant flashbacks in the series: in episode 9 where he and Saionji find Utena hiding in a coffin after she just lost her parents, and in episode 10 where Nanami gives him a kitten for his birthday, with all that that ended up tragically entailing. (It may be worth noting at this early point that neither of these flashbacks are from Touga's own point of view; ep 9's is Saionji's memory of the event, and ep 10's is of course Nanami's memories.)

The assumption I've seen throughout the entire fandom is that Touga is younger in Nanami's flashback, in which he has short hair, and a bit older in the coffin flashback, in which he has long hair. It's a perfectly reasonable and logical assumption, and one that I wouldn't question either -- if not for two things.

The first of those two things is head writer Enokido's notes on Touga; to sum them up very briefly for those who don't already know, they say his unpleasant backstory as depicted in the movie was also intended to have been his series self's backstory, with some additional details included to account for Nanami and Saionji. A specific point from both these notes and the movie itself is that Touga was ordered by his original parents to grow his hair out, as that was what Mr Kiryuu wanted. If we take Enokido's comments on Touga's backstory as applicable to the series canon -- as I personally do, as it heavily informs my entire reading of Touga as a character -- then they need to be reconciled with what's depicted in the series itself in one way or another.

The second thing is simply that I noticed some curiosities in the series character design sheets, which I'll go into past the readmore. Before that, I just want to pose the question I'm exploring here in the first place:

Could Touga have actually been younger in the coffin flashback than in Nanami's flashback?

Please note that this is more of a thought experiment than anything; I'm not trying to push this as The Actual Canon Truth, even if this does inform my personal headcanons regarding Touga's (and Nanami's and Saionji's) history. I just want to put forward some bits of evidence with my own thoughts and speculation on them. Without further ado...

First up, here's one of the design sheets for Touga and Nanami as kids from ep 10's flashback:

It says that Touga was 12 and Nanami was still 7 (keeping in mind that her birthday is a couple of months after his). I personally think they both look a bit younger than those stated ages, but I digress.

It could possibly be said that whoever added the notes on these design sheets might be pulling the characters' childhood ages out of thin air, but evidence that Touga is intended to be 12 here did make it into the episode itself:

Twelve candles on a cake for a kid's 12th birthday would make a lot of sense.

Meanwhile, here's the full-body design sheet for Touga and Saionji as kids from ep 9's flashback:

This one doesn't give any ages for the boys; I'm mainly posting it here for the sake of comparison. Your mileage may vary on which version of child Touga looks older or younger, and I'm a little back-and-forth on the matter myself; that said, it does strike me how dainty he looks in the design sheet for the coffin flashback, though I wonder if it might just be because of his clothes.

What had me questioning Touga's (and Saionji's) age in the coffin flashback in the first place is that, in the manga, it's stated that Utena was 6 years old when her parents died. That would've made the boys about 9 at the time, as they're three years older than her. Having said that, though, the manga and anime are different continuities with different takes on a lot of things, so just because the manga says one thing doesn't mean it definitely applies to the anime version as well. So how old was child Utena in the anime, then?

As with the boys, the design sheet for Utena's appearance in the coffin flashback doesn't specify an age for her, either. This would ostensibly make their ages at the time ambiguous -- but I'm not giving up here. There's another character who was a similarly-aged child at the time.

Anthy appears as a child in flashbacks in episode 34, one of which takes place very shortly after ep 9's coffin flashback. According to the design sheet, she was 7 years old at the time, and she's noted to be the same height as child Utena. Therefore, I find it reasonable to conclude that Utena was also about 7 years old when she lost her parents, which would've made Touga and Saionji around 10 at the time.

That's the evidence I'm putting forward to support the possibility of Touga being younger in the coffin flashback than in Nanami's flashbacks, with the admitted underlying assumption that the design sheets can be used as reliable sources for characters' ages as children. I think it would address discrepencies in his hair length with regards to his backstory as given by Enokido, but there's still a couple of other things that ought to get a closer look in that case.

All of Nanami's childhood photos of herself and Touga that we see in episode 31 show him with short hair. What's with that?

My speculation on this is that Touga deliberately curated the photo album so that it would only show him with short hair as a kid, in order to hide the reality of his and Nanami's situation as "adopted" kids sold to a paedophile from her. It probably helps that in all these photos, he and Nanami look roughly the same as they did in her flashback in ep 10, suggesting that they could all be from around that time. I've also considered the possibility that there could be some Mamiya-esque shenanigans surrounding the photos (in that they're showing a falsehood, like the photo of the fake Mamiya that turns into one showing his real self during Mikage's duel), but that feels like too much of a stretch to me.

It's also possible that Nanami might be misremembering Touga's hair length in her flashbacks in the first place; the Kaoru twins offer precedent for this, as their "Sunlit Garden" flashbacks in episode 5 show Kozue with a completely different hairstyle depending on whether it's Miki or her remembering that time. Personally, though, I find it more likely that Touga really did have short hair at the time, especially if we assume from everything I gave further up in this post that he'd just turned 12. Apologies for the horrible following thought, but I wonder if, by the time Touga had reached that age, he was getting a bit too old for Mr Kiryuu's sick tastes...

Putting that nastiness aside, there's one more flashback involving Touga I want to talk about, and it's one I wouldn't even have thought to include if I hadn't rewatched the episode it appears in recently: Tsuwabuki's flashback from episode 6! (Always leave it to the comedy episodes to surprise you!)

Tsuwabuki is presumably in preschool here based on his clothes, Nanami is in the girls' elementary school uniform, and Touga is in the standard boys' uniform as worn by middleschoolers and highschoolers. For all this to line up, I think their most likely ages here are 5-6 for Tsuwabuki, 8-9 for Nanami (putting her in third grade) and 12-13 for Touga (putting him in seventh grade, or his first year of middle school as per the Japanese school system).

Yet Touga has long hair here! If he had short hair when he'd just turned 12, how could it have grown out so much in only a year or so? (To say nothing of the growth spurt he seems to have had in that time...) I could chalk things up to Tsuwabuki idealising him as a big strong older brother in his memory -- middle school Touga apparently fought off a great big rampaging bull, after all -- which would explain why he looks basically the same here as he does as a highschooler. That said, Touga doesn't necessarily need to have had long hair in order for Tsuwabuki to idealise him the way he does; I doubt his hair length matters too much either way for that, so I don't see any reason for Tsuwabuki to misremember his hair in particular. This could lend some credence to the idea that Nanami misremembers Touga's hair length in her own flashback, but I question that for the reasons I already gave further up.

(As an aside: it might just be a matter of the lighting in that specific shot, but had Touga already dyed his trademark lighter streak in his hair in Tsuwabuki's flashback? He noticably doesn't have his highlight in either of the flashbacks with him as a child, which the design sheets for both of them make a specific point of noting. I might talk about the possible significance of his highlight in a different post.)

I think that's about it for my rambling and speculation on this, at least for now. What do you think? Is any of this plausible? Not plausible? Is it at least an interesting thought experiment to read about either way, or is it just a load of codswallop? Are there any blind spots I might've missed that I ought to address? Any other questions or comments? I'm curious to know.

[waitmyturtles]

SOME GOOD SHOWS THAT I LIKED IN 2023! (AND SOME THAT I DIDN'T)

I watched A LOT of stuff that did not originally air in 2023 by dint of my Old GMMTV Challenge. This list is inclusive of this recognition!

THE BEST SHOW I WATCHED THIS YEAR: HE'S COMING TO ME

I have no other words: this is my favorite Thai BL of all time. Perfect length, perfect plot, perfect celebration of Thai culture, perfect acting, the greatest coming out scene of all time, the BEST of the best BL moms. Perfection.

THE OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THIS YEAR: BAD BUDDY

I don't even want to think about how many words I've written on Bad Buddy this year, but they're well deserved for this REMARKABLE show. I've got a thing for shows by Aof Noppharnach that feature Ohm Pawat, what can I say!

THE MOST INFLUENTIAL SHOW(S) I WATCHED THIS YEAR: LOVE SICK AND SOTUS

The influence of Love Sick and SOTUS can be seen in SO MANY Thai BLs, even through today. Without having watched these two shows to start my OGMMTVC project, I wouldn't have the context for what later shows like Bad Buddy and Theory of Love were commenting on by way of their content and structures. Love Sick in particular was a HELL of a lift -- but I am damn glad I watched it, and I certainly feel nostalgia for it today.

Honorable mentions of influential pieces that had impacts on Thai BLs: Love of Siam and Dew the Movie

MY OTHER FAVORITE OLD SHOWS I WATCHED: UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN AND THEORY OF LOVE

BANGERS!!!

If New Siwaj ever tops Until We Meet Again, I'll fly to Bangkok and give him a gold medal. That long-ass show, 17 EPISODES, I WANTED MORE! OhmFluke's chemistry was great, the story delved SO deeply into historical homophobia and how culture and acceptance changes over time -- scrumptious. Theory of Love, man, the way this show ate up implicit compassion bias and gave it right back to us. I loved it. KHAI FOREVER!

THE BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: MOONLIGHT CHICKEN

Not only was Moonlight Chicken my first real live fandom experience on Tumblr, it was a hell of an amazing show, incorporating so much of what I love particularly about Thai BLs, and how many Thai BLs do not shy away from celebrating Asian cultural touchpoints. From exploring Jim's internalized homophobia by way of his rural upbringing, to juxtaposing Pattaya's spiritual symbols with growing development that upends older strains of local culture, Moonlight Chicken offered a lovely commentary on what it means to be queer in an ever-changing Thailand.

THE OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: WHAT DID YOU EAT YESTERDAY?/KINOU NANI TABETA? SEASON 2

BRILLIANTLY ACTED by literally the best actors in the Asian BL game: we are blessed that Nishijima Hidetoshi and Uchino Seiyou have given so much to this franchise. It's hard to write about this show because it's so perfect -- it needs no extraneous words. Plot, pacing, acting, character development, gratuitous food shots. It has it all.

THE OTHER OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: I CANNOT REACH YOU

Just like Bad Buddy looked at Thai BL tropes in the eye and said, "over my Nong Nao," I Cannot Reach You asked Japanese BLs about the efficacy of almost every trope we've gotten used to, and questioned them with efficiency. The biggest shocker for me? REAL COMMUNICATION, encouraged by the CIPHER, Hosaka, that allowed the two lead protagonists to confirm their love and understand each other. It was straightforward and FUCKING GOOD.

A SHOW THAT AIRED IN 2023 THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ABOUT YET, THAT I NEED TO REWATCH IN CHRONOLOGY, THAT ALSO DID SOME TROPE/GENRE ASS-KICKING THAT I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT: LA PLUIE

La Pluie was FEARLESS. The show had a LOT to say about romance and soulmates not being as much of a realistic thing as content-makers... and, frankly, majority society would like us to think. La Pluie made its characters WORK for love and understanding, and had us viewers face our implicit biases about how romantic content should and could work. I watched this show out of order of the OGMMTVC watchlist to see it it was one of the best of the year, and it certainly is. I'm planning a deep rewatch for early 2024 to pen my words on it.

A SHOW THAT ALMOST TOPPED MY 2023 LIST BUT GOT DOCKED BECAUSE I ENDED UP LIKING THE NOVEL A LOT BETTER: I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR

@neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan know that I flipped THA FUCK out over this show -- FABULOUSLY acted by Nonkul Chanon and Bright Rapheephong, FABULOUS cinematography, great story up until the end of the series. My fangirling led me to read the original novel by Violet Rain, and -- I found out that Jom was a lot more damn sassy than we got in the show! Tee Bundit's penchant for sadness won. This is not to dock the show, but the novel had more than enough material to carry the series through without repeating themes in the end. So it fell on my 2023 list, womp womp. BUT I STILL LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SHOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG.

TWO SHOWS THAT I'M SUPER GLAD I CAUGHT UP WITH WHILE THEY WERE AIRING: THE EIGHTH SENSE AND BE MY FAVORITE

Be My Favorite looked at Krist Perawat's checkered past as a BL idol and said: we are going to examine this and make an honest BL out of inspiration from it. It wasn't a perfect show, the time travel shit didn't end up adding up in the end, BUT -- excellent acting from two GMMTV VETS made up for those tangles, and I loved the contextual philosophical references throughout the series. The Eighth Sense looked at the tug-of-war that Korean BLs have with K-dramas and their tropes and said, actually? We will have these dudes full-frontal kiss, and placed that energy against commentaries on mental health, both topics that Korea hasn't quite embraced as quickly as other countries.

HONORABLE MENTIONS OF OTHER AWESOME SHOWS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE AIRED IN 2023

Make It Right, Our Dating Sim, Dark Blue Kiss, Gay OK Bangkok, Dirty Laundry, 10 Years Ticket, I Told Sunset About You, I Promised You the Moon, 3 Will Be Free, Lovely Writer (underrated?!), Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars (UNDERRATED!), and Manner of Death.

And the shows that are airing that I know will stay with me well into 2024: Last Twilight and Cherry Magic Thailand.

I had fun!

WHAT ELSE, WHAT ELSE: THE "NO" SHOWS: THE PROMISE AND STEP BY STEP

I'm not even hyperlinking my thoughts on these shows, nor gifting them with gifs. Insert Bugs Bunny NOOOOOO gif here! We got Man Trisanu, though.

THE SHOW I WAS THE MOST OBVIOUSLY DISAPPOINTED BY: ONLY FRIENDS

Despite my passionate disappointment for this show and how it ended: in the context of the OGMMTVC, Only Friends is still an incredibly important inclusion to the list. Some amazing Tumblr bloggers offered commentary that the bias against sex that OF contained within the show was actually importantly and culturally contextual to the still-conservative state of acceptance that Thailand is currently in (here and here for more reading).

Only Friends reminded us that despite any kind of marketing that we here on Tumblr, as a majority non-Thai audience, may receive about a Thai show -- that we are still not fully plugged into the non-verbal expectations of what a show like OF could promise to do, and to be okay when it doesn't reach those heights. In light of the seemingly pro-sex marketing blasts that previewed the series before its airing, OF ultimately seemed to want to take casual sex, chew it up, and spit it out. There might be reasons why that happened that we just don't know about as outsiders to Thailand. But as an Asian-American viewer that was hoping for neutral -- and maybe even supportive -- commentary on single folks having casual sex without judgement, OF did not deliver for me.

I'm ending the year reading Dr. Thomas Baudinette's book, Boys Love Media in Thailand, the first book-length ethnographic study on the impact of BL on queerness, media, and more in Thailand and across Asia. Baudinette comes from the world of Japanese queer media studies -- as someone who came to Thai BLs this year from Japanese BLs, I appreciate his trajectory. It's clearly a necessity for me to read this book in the context of the OGMMTVC, to understand how Thai BLs have changed over time, and to understand the incredibly larger impact of heterosexual/heteronormative media and themes on Thai media as a whole, as larger and larger swaths of Thai, Asian, and international societies welcome and watch BLs with open arms.

All of this feeds into my ever-growing body of knowledge about the impact of Thai BLs, both in Thailand and across Asia, as Baudinette writes about, and how these shows have and are developed/developing over time. It's been an AMAZING YEAR of watching old and new dramas for me, and I'm looking forward to seeing how the genre grows even more in 2024.

I also made AMAZING FRIENDS on Tumblr -- y'all know who you are! What a year of growth and discovery for me: this has been a fabulous experience, and I'm looking forward to even more growth in the new year!

[wilcze-kudly]

I have a question for you!

Do you think Aang is the Zseto of the Air Nomad?

I've seen people theorize about this and I'm a little confused myself. When you try to defend Aang, people get a little narrow-minded because they think you're putting him on a pedestal, that he's perfect, etc. It's okay for characters to have mistakes. Every avatar has mistakes, which makes them unique. I know some Aang stans are pretty aggressive. But for me, that's not the case. It's just that they're trying to expand other perspectives of Aang's character. There are so many debates about his character, but these ones just baffle me. One of the reasons I like Aang is because of his mistakes, how he owns them, and the consequences. Overall, I wanted to hear your thoughts, since you have more experience in Korra's story, with all your meta and analysis on your blog.

Here are some arguments that pushed this theory:

The fact that Aang had to rebuild the air nation left the so-called peoples in disfavor.

Aang in the comics who is too restricted to changes, technologies, which might have brought the benders and not the benders to conflict.

The way Aang treated his son Tenzin and taught him to be an airbender. Which led Tenzin to be less open to future Airnomads. The fact that he is a bad father because he focused on Tenzin and left his others.

These are not my thoughts, but arguments that validated this theory! I would be happy to hear your thoughts!

(I assume that by 'Zseto' you meant 'Szeto' and mistyped lol)

Huh, I've only ever heard the argument Aang being similar to Szeto only a few times ans never really put a lot of thought into it. I'll be honest, I don't really have as much of a hate for Szeto as a lot of people in the fandom do. Like yeah I'll still make jokes about Tax Boy McNationalist, but from what I know of him, he genuinely seemed to do his best. Like he grew up in a time of conflict, economical strife, plagues and natural disasters. There was a lot of shit going on in the Fire Nation and the Avatar usually goes where they're needed most. And I think a lot of people forget how much a poor economy can ruin lives.

Was he biased? Sure, but I think it's inevitable that most Avatars will be biased towards their homeland and loved ones. Look at the difference between how Korra handled the Southern Water Tribe being taken over by the North and how she handled Zaofu being invaded by the Earth Empire. And don't even get me started on Roku. Even Wan seemed to have his biases when dealing with his friends from the Fire Lion Turtle.

Singling out Avatars like Szeto or Aang really is pretty pointless.

Particularly with Aang, who has every right to be biased. Like, we need to remember that the airbenders were not only wiped out but also wiped out 100 years ago. And if Aang wants to perserve their culture, he has to scramble to find artifacts, and immortalise what memories he has in that lil twelve year old noggin of his before he forgets.

You lose track of cultural items surprisingly fast, I know this as a Pole. You won't BELIVE how much of our art and other historical items are still missing because some asshole nazi decided he wanted a souvenir from that time he helped commit a genocide.

Does Aang come off as overzealous, a bit preachy and occasionally overly strict with his beliefs? Yeah a little, but he has reason too. Aang is an individual with extremely strong convictions and firm beliefs, which is admirable for someone so young. It can cause interpersonal issues, and can be annoying if you can't empathise with him. But I think what we need to remember is that with a philosophy as deeply spiritual and internal as that of the Air Nomads, one infraction can seemingly feel like you're failing it. We must remember that to Aang, giving up Air Nomad philosophies even once will probably seem like betraying the legacy of his people.

Aang is a flawed character, but all characters are flawed and multi faceted. That's good storytelling, babey.

Ok, but onto the points you raise

1. Aang prioritising the Air Nation over others

I think this is a pretty silly argument, since Aang's first act as Avatar was to literally save the world from the Fire Nation, but ok. Let's play along. I think this is also unfounded, since we see Aang having so much influence on the other nations, being involves with their leaders and assisting the civilians. I also love seeing Aang's very unique perspective on engaging with the other nations.

As a genocide survivor, we see Aang support Katara, another genocude survivor in reconnecting with and rbuilding her culture. And as someone who existed 100 years ago and travelled around a lot, Aang has knowledge of other Nations that has since been lost to time and the war. He remembers natural wonders and sacred places in the Earth Kingdom, and encourages the children of the Fire Nation to reconnect with the expressive, artistic side of their heritage which has been stomped down by the new utilitarian regime of the Nation.

And I swear to god if someone brings up Aang not liking sea prune soup and being mildly startled by an animal pelt I will shoot them.

For better or for worse, Aang also created Republic City, which was an attempt at bridging the divides formed between the three nations.

2. Aang's aversion to technology

Before I touch on this point, I think we need to remember that atla is happening smack dab in the middle of an industrial revolution. And Aang has existed 100 years before this industrial revolution. Imagine showing a 12 year old from the 17th century a steam locomotive I think he'd be baffled and disconcerted.

Furthermore, in 2 out of three of the times we see Aang upset about technology it's because from his perspective, suddenly there's tons of machinery sprouting from places that were important to him. In the first instance, it's at the Northern Air Temple, a place that probably housed at least a few of Aang's friends. And the second is in a sacred area. Not to mention that these renovations were entirely uninvited and unexpected, so I think it's only natural thay Aang feels violated on behalf of his entire culture and people.

In the third instance, Aang expresses frustration with industrialisation because it caused pollution and antagonism between benders and nonbenders. His frustration is understandable. He is essentially witnessing a huge change to what he percieves as the natural order, and from his subconscious perspective, this has all happened in a short amount of time.

But we also see Sokka quickly check Aang's frustration, reminding him that innovation can be a good thing and that it's bad people who use it irresponsibly. And Aang apologises and agrees. I think this is what people often forget. Aang is very good at listening to people and taking in their perspective.

Aang's constant struggle with how the world has changed is one of my favourite aspect of his story since it really emphasises how lost and alone he could feel in this world.

3. Aang's poor parenting and that it led to Tenzin struggling with the future airbenders

I honestly dislike the blanket statement that Aang was a bad father. Flawed? Yeah, totally. But bad? Absolutely not.

Even Bumi and Kya admit that their father loved them and that he cared for them, but was held back by his responsibilities.

I think most children of Avatars will have at least a small amount of resentment towards their parent's status and the responsibilities and pressure it lays upon them. Plus, Aang and hid children had the added weight of an entire genocide on their shoulders.

And between managing a world that has only recently become peaceful, trying to rebuild a nation and doing regular Avatar stuff, it's not hard to see how Aang may have struggled to give his children time. Tenzin just happened to fit into one of those goals enough that Aang could bring him along.

This did cause Tenzin a lot of stress and feelings of pressure. But Aang always tried to reassure his son. It just sometimes happens that children internalise the wrong message.

And Aang could never have forseen the return of the airbenders through Harmonic Convergence, so how could he have prepared Tenzin for handling a bunch of terrified, newly bending people who suddenly became a part of an almost extinct culture.

Aang prepared Tenzin to educate Air Acolytes, nonbenders of different nationalities who willingly joined the cause of rebuilding the Air Nation and were already interested in the culture.

And to Aang and Tenzin's credit, the one Asir Acolyte who got airbending, named Otaku seemed to be genuinely enjoying all this.

Look at his nerdass. He's having a whale of a time.

I think while these criticisms are valid to some extent, they are overblown. Aang's flaws exist to make an interesting story and to make him an interesting character. I don't want to say every action of Aang's is entirely right and morally correct all the time. But every action he takes is understandable. We can follow his thought process and I think that's very good writing.

I also find it a bit of an annoying trend to compare Avatars. I've seen people do it with Aang and Korra and it always rubbed me the wrong way. Every Avatar is unique and has their own story, personality, morals and flaws. I love that about the Avatar franchise, but I see a lot of people so resistant to anything that doesn't fit their own narratives.

[daresplaining]

I’ve realised another reason why Elektra as Daredevil doesn’t sit right with me is that she’s not physically disabled (and Zdarsky gives no real thought to Elektra’s history of mental illness and the fact that trauma that has kept her from society). It feels like a decision motivated by shipping, the facade of progressiveness and a misunderstanding of Elektra as someone needing “redemption.”

But that line of thought made me realise, Maya Lopez could’ve been a wonderful opportunity for a female Daredevil. Like Elektra, she debuted in Daredevil and does have a romantic history with Matt. But unlike Elektra, she’s never really led her own books and this could’ve boosted her star in marvel comics without undermining her history outside of Daredevil comics. Plus I think representations of disability are deeply important to Daredevil as a character.

I’m glad she got the Phoenix force and Disney+ series for a similar boost, but GOD now I’m yearning to live in that universe.

I love that as a concept! I have thought at various points about Maya taking on the Daredevil mantle, and I do agree it could work, and that it would be more fitting for her than it is for Elektra ("it feels like a decision motivated by shipping, the facade of progressiveness and a misunderstanding of Elektra as someone needing 'redemption'" is spot-on. That's how it feels to me too.) I also agree about the importance of disability as an aspect of the Daredevil identity; it was part of why Sam, especially after being blinded, seemed like a perfect candidate for a possible successor, and I agree that it makes Maya feel right too.

At the same time, though, the longer I've thought about it, the more I feel like Daredevil doesn't really seem right for this kind of legacy. I've thought about this a lot because I adore superhero legacies. I'm a big fan of Iron Fist, and also of the Flash family over at DC. The Iron Fist identity is a formal title. It is a job and a power-set that you acquire and then make your own, stepping into a tradition of service that is centuries old. The Flash legacy is more organic, passed on through fandom (genuinely), family ties, and loving mentorship among a group of people who share the same powers.

My hesitation about the concept of a Daredevil legacy comes only from the fact that that identity is so incredibly personal and specific to Matt. "Daredevil" is a name that he reclaimed from his own childhood trauma. It is a persona he crafted to reflect a side of himself that he wanted to explore but felt he had to keep hidden in his civilian life. Equally, the Echo identity (the name comes from the title of one of her performance pieces but also reflects her relationship to the past, reflects her power-set, reflects how she contextualizes her experience of Deafness, etc.) is very personal and specific to Maya, and it makes me sad to think of her needing to take on someone else's name just to receive more of a spotlight. What does the name "Daredevil" mean to Maya, or to Elektra, two people who already have strongly-established identities of their own? How do they embody it? Why would they choose to? I'm not saying it wouldn't or shouldn't happen, but these are things that I feel would need to be considered.

I'm sure my thoughts on this will continue to evolve, but that's where my mind is right now.

[natileroxs]

I barely even know if the khr Fandom is even around anymore but I do want to raise an interesting point that I've been thinking over a hell of a lot.

So the wiki doesn't say anything about the actual ages of the Arcobaleno, only that they are physically about 2 years old (but Lambo and Ipin are both around 5/6 and the choice to have them look the same is a bizarre one at best but I digress). We can assume, based on looks and status, that the Arcobaleno were, at the time when they got the pacifiers, all roughly around the same age and at least older than 25 but probably edging closer toward 30-35. Reborn especially comes off as older than 30, with more life experience.

We do have a rough idea about how long they have been Arcobaleno's though. Luce was pregnant when she got her pacifier and then she had Aria, who then grew up to have Uni. In the future, Uni looks to be about the same age or maybe a little younger than the guardians at around 12 or 13, which would make her around 2 or 3 in current time. Aria was said to have died young, but after Uni was born. To give a decent guess, Aria might have been around 25 when she died. Since she had to have died less than 3 years prior, my current assumption now is that the Arcobaleno have had their pacifiers for nearly thirty years.

Now where am I going with this? Well, I'm going straight to Fon and Hibari. I am just as much of a perpetrator in the whole Uncle Fon thing despite the fact that, according to my calculations, Fon would actually be closer to 65 while Hibari is only around 16. And yes, Hibari's parent (usual hc I see is his mom but either works) could have a giant age gap or have had Hibari late, but most women cannot have children past the age of 50 due to menopause. 15 years or more is a large age gap for siblings.

But an age gap larger than that would actually make it fit better if Fon is actually Hibari's grandfather. Which is funny, I know. But hear me out. Fon has a daughter before he becomes an Arcobaleno, then he gets his pacifier when she is a child/teen. And then she grows up and has Kyoya. (Don't even get me started on how I would fit Ipin into this family tree because it's just so weird that Fon is helping out this random child)

Anyway, if any of you guys still exist, please give me your thoughts.