#i've got like. a list of the cards and what i think fits best (i went with the magician for wee john for this because i needed one for him)

[strawwritesfic]

Scott Lang x Female!Reader: Transformative

Summary: "Scott Lang had had a slew of transformative experiences in recent years. Tell him something he didn't know."

Rating/Tags: T (Not Avengers: Infinity War Compliant; post-Ant-man and the Wasp; Background Relationships; Makeup; Illness; Domestic Fluff; Not Anti-Hope van Dyne; Not Anti-Scott Lang/Hope van Dyne; Mild Language; Mild Sexual References)

Word Count: 2,630

Requester: Anonymous

Request: "Hii!! Could I request a Scott Lang X reader? It doesn’t have to be particularly long since it’s sort of simple: Scott reacting to see his s/o without makeup for the rest time. It’s sort of a big thing to him because his s/o is v insecure and picking as to who sees them with no makeup. It’s a rlly self indulgent request lol! Thank u!!!"

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Notes: Hey, look at that! I've somehow tripled my fic output from 2024! By which I mean I only wrote one thing that entire year, and I want praise for writing three in 2025. It helps that, as stated in the request itself, this was really simple.

It'll probably take me a little longer to get to the next request. I need to rewatch both Amazing Spider-Man movies, and I only own the first one on DVD.

Ao3 Version Here

Transformative

Scott Lang had had a slew of transformative experiences in recent years. Tell him something he didn't know. Going from convicted felon to heist pawn to superhero to internationally-wanted criminal, some days he felt as though he'd already gone through the gamut of human exploits. Since his time in a prison cell, he'd written a book, reconciled with his ex-wife, opened a business, and saved the world a couple of times. He had an amazing daughter, a group of the best friends a guy could ask for, and even a stereotypical crotchety old mentor courtesy of one of those friends.

From the noises issuing from his phone speaker prior to his pressing end, it sounded as though he also had a dying girlfriend.

"What? [Name]'s dying?" Luis asked after Scott announced this to the group at large.

"Not literally," Scott said. "She's got a real bad cold, though, maybe a sinus infection."

"Oh." Luis took a moment to digest this information. "That's not an emergency. What are you doing, using your personal cell phone during work hours for something like that?"

Scott could find no immediate response that seemed fitting. Luis continued to insist on relegating him to the card table "desk" assigned to him when X-Con first opened its doors. All Scott had room for was his personal cell phone since Kurt wouldn't allow them to share landlines. Assuming his blank gaze said enough, Scott bent over to retrieve his keys from their spot on the floor.

Luis was staring at him when he resurfaced. "Where you going, buddy?"

"To [Name]'s place. She asked if I could pick up her medicine for her."

"Don't you think you'd better ask your boss if you want to knock off early?"

"Seriously?" Scott looked to Dave and Kurt for support.

"Hey, he made me ask permission to leave to see my mom last week, and she was in the hospital," said Dave.

"Guys, come on. You know [Name]. She wouldn't ask me to do this if she could do it herself."

Luis leaned back in chair—the nicest one in the office, of course—and crossed his arms over his chest. "How do I know you're not making this whole thing up so you can sneak over for some midday nooky?"

"Because I wouldn't do that," Scott protested, then added, "Not to mention, you're not really my boss. We're both the bosses here."

Only for so long could Luis keep up his serious expression without cracking up. He gestured toward the door between giggles. "I'm kidding, man. Go see your girl. She's clearly got you wrapped around her finger."

"I think that is called here 'pussy whipped,'" Kurt said.

"Yeah, thanks, Kurt," said Scott.

If he waited much longer, Luis might change his mind and send Scott off on a call or launch into a long and complicated story about the time his cousin's uncle's brother's son's girlfriend nearly did die of a cold. Then you might actually die before Scott could escape to deliver your prescription. So he booked it toward the hallway, not bothering to pull the door shut behind him as he bustled for the stairs.

"Don't forget to tell [Name] to get well soon from all of us!" Luis called to the general agreement of Kurt and Dave.

Scott waved to show he heard as he made a break in the direction of the building's first floor.

Outside at last, he blinked in the dazzling afternoon sun. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been outside while the sun was still up. Sign-ups for X-Con services went through the roof after their last adventure; all four men had been working long hours to try to keep up with the sudden demand.

He snapped out of his daze to squint at the screen on his phone. Something else Scott had forgotten: how difficult it could be to read anything there when it was so bright outside. How did Cassie manage the transition so easily all the time? It took him multiple attempts to manage a legible text message:

'Luis let me go. I'll be over with your medicine ASAP. If you see the light before I get there, don't walk into it!'

A moment later, you sent a single zombie emoji in answer.

'If you do turn completely by then, I promise to only mention your rotting lips whenever we kiss.'

His phone went into his pocket after the quick exchange. You needed rest; Scott had a mission; and besides, standing in the middle of the sidewalk and trying to read his phone would probably land him in urgent care, or at least give him premature wrinkles. The nearest MUNI looked ready to leave anyway. He caught it in the nick of time and rode it to the stop closest to the pharmacy you used. The text he sent in transit—'Do you need anything else while I'm out?'—went unread. Hopefully that meant you had gone to bed, not drowned in your own snot or some equally undignified way to die.

Despite the ribbing the guys and Hope often gave him over his burgeoning relationship with you, he'd miss you terribly if you passed away now. This was, obviously, ignoring the no small amount of guilt he'd feel for having failed to rescue you before it was too late. Letting you die on him would really put a crimp in his saving-people's-lives record.

Unfortunately, Scott's arrival at the pharmacy could not have been timed more poorly. The line to the counter snaked around multiple aisles inside the store. Well, 'tis the season, Scott thought as he resigned himself to his place at the very end. What choice did he have but to wait and wade through the bins of clearance Christmas decorations? At least the speakers above his head were playing something other than carols this deep into January.

To distract himself from the upcoming deluge of pink and red and hearts, Scott pulled out his cell phone once again. Still no reply from you. He sucked at the inside of cheek, wondering who would be available to chat. Hope was on a long-awaited vacation with her parents and certainly wouldn't react kindly to being interrupted for something so unimportant; Luis would just make fun of him some more; Cassie ought to be in school still.

So that left...Paxton and Maggie. And while the four of them got along much better those days, Scott didn't think he was so desperate for distant company as to contact them. They needed their rest, too. Cassie had had her own bout with the common cold last week. You'd probably caught yours from her, come to think of it.

Thinking of it more, Scott recalled Maggie asking him to pick up some things from the store for their daughter one evening. And suddenly he had a brilliant idea.

The Valentine section couldn't help him much, but soon he turned a corner into a more appropriate aisle. He wracked his brains for the items on Maggie's list as the line continued to inch along. VapoRub, check. Vitamin C booster, check. Assorted over-the-counter medicines for cold and flu symptoms, check.

All these items Scott dumped unceremoniously on the counter when his turn came at last. "Can I pay for all of this here?" he asked. The sullen-looking cashier nodded wordlessly, paving the way for Scott to launch into all the information required to obtain your prescription. He left the store ten minutes later with a paper bag filled with his purchases.

Still no answer from you when he checked his phone again. Scott deliberated for a second before rattling off an uneven, 'Headed your way now.' It wasn't until he made it to your front door that he looked again—and what he saw there took his worry up a notch.

'Can you just use your key to get in? I don't want to have to crawl to the door.'

Wow. Maybe Luis hadn't been too far off about you literally dying. You never asked Scott to simply waltz into your space. One of the unyielding rules of your relationship was that he always ring the doorbell and wait for you to answer. It begged the question of why you'd given him a copy of the key to begin with—but he'd rather not walk in on something you didn't want him seeing. So used to this standard was he that he half-expected the door to explode when he pushed it forward nervously, or you to burst into tears once he hesitantly stepped inside.

Neither occurred. In fact, nothing occurred. Nothing so much as moved as he looked around the cozy home.

"[Name]?" he called. "It's me, Scott! Which you probably already figured out, but I don't want you overexerting yourself because you think I'm a burglar. Well, I am a burglar. I'm here to leave you something today, though. Sort of the opposite of burgling. Not that I'd ever burgle you anyway. Or that I still commit burglaries of any kind!"

He had to clench his teeth together to stop himself from rambling. The quiet snap seemed to echo in the stillness. A very long pause followed his announcement until a series of coughs shattered the silence.

"I'm here," you croaked from a distant room.

The continued miserable sniffling led him easily to your bedroom. You'd left the door ajar—or perhaps a real burglar had. And what kind of boyfriend would he be to stand by and let you get burgled in the next room over?

Taking only the time necessary to fish a Pym Particle Disc from his pocket, Scott kicked the door further open, leaped into the room brandishing the disc, and yelled:

"Freeze, criminal! Hands where I can see them!"

Another coughing fit ensued. When he glanced in the direction of the noise, he found you lying in bed, propped up by what appeared to every pillow in the place.

"What are you doing?" you finally managed to ask him.

But Scott found himself unable to speak. He was thunderstruck. You'd been dating for months, but now he found himself faced with such a sight without any time whatsoever to mentally prepare.

"God, you look horrible," he blurted.

You colored as much as you could, which wasn't much, and Scott realized at once that he'd really put his foot in his mouth this time. There might even have been something glittering in the corners of your eyes.

"No, no, no, no, no." He stumbled forward, tossing his bag to the foot of the bed as he sat down by your knees.

"I just...didn't think I could sit up long enough to do my makeup again," you said throatily—from unshed tears or unblown snot, he could not say.

"[Name], that's not what I—"

"I had only just taken everything off from going to the doctor, and I feel like crap, and now I look like crap, and I let you see me like this, and—"

Scott interrupted by picking up the hand you had resting nearest to him on the comforter. This he lifted to his lips in a swift kiss. Thankfully, this expression of concern worked more successfully than his last.

"You look like someone who doesn't feel their best. That's all I meant. Ah!"

"What?" you asked as Scott scrambled for the discarded bag.

"I brought your medicine. The sooner you take it, the sooner you'll start to feel better." All this he said while he rummaged through his things. He pulled the prescription bottle out of the mess with a vague noise of triumph. "Let me go get you something to drink it with."

He left the room in a hurry, more to give you time to compose yourself than any actual rush on his part. Already you had allowed him to see you without your makeup on for the very first time. The difference was striking enough without adding weeping to the mix—not upsetting, just obvious. Scott never asked why you preferred to be seen with your face fully "on," as you put it. But he knew it meant something that you'd let him see you so vulnerable that afternoon. Maybe it only meant that you felt terrible, but that was still something.

It took him a few minutes to find everything he needed in your kitchen. He grabbed an insulated cup with a lid from one cabinet, some fruit juice from the fridge, and filled the former with the latter. When he returned to your bedroom, he found you'd taken the opportunity, as expected, to clean up. Now you were pulling items one by one out of the paper bag.

"Is this all for me?" you asked.

Putting a coaster down on your bedside table and struggling with the childproofing on your medicine kept him too busy to reply for a bit. Then he looked up to see you staring at him, waiting for his answer.

"Huh? Oh, yeah! I tried to remember everything Maggie asked me to grab for Cassie. I figured it might help since you probably caught your bug from her when we took her out for dinner after her soccer match."

You eyed the VapoRub in your palm speculatively. "Thank you."

"Anything for the world's most beautiful woman, even when she's sick. But I know you'd rather get back to using lipstick sooner rather than later, so why don't you take your pill?"

He held out the cup and the medicine bottle. You rolled your eyes, smiling. After trading him the container of VapoRub for the drink, you gulped down some cold juice and knocked back a capsule.

"You know," Scott said as you swallowed, "I'd be a disaster at applying your eye shadow, but I could help you apply this if you wanted."

Was the noise you made in response because you inhaled juice or you stifled a laughed? "Scott, if you get any closer to me than you already have, you'll probably end up as sick as I am. You might already have caught it."

"So? Honestly, I could use the time off. You have no idea how much PTO I've accrued lately. Luis can be real taskmaster."

"He just wants X-Con to be successful." 

“He says get well soon, by the way. So do Dave and Kurt. Are you sure you want me to go back to them instead of staying here with you?”

He smiled sheepishly as you lifted your head to regard him down your noise. Then you finally relented: "I could use the company. But no doing my makeup for me! And I'll apply my own VapoRub, thank you very much." You plucked the container right from his hand before he could protest. Not that he intended to protest when he had a better idea.

"We can watch a movie together and order takeout. My treat."

"Mr. Moneybags over here," you said.

But you scooted over so that he could climb onto the bed and stretch out next to you. While he used the remove to scroll through options to find something you'd both enjoy, you snuggled up close to him.

"Scott," you murmured sleepily about twenty minutes into the film.

"Hm?"

"Thanks for coming to my rescue today."

"Anytime, [Name]. Anytime. Kind of the in the job description, right?"

"Superhero or boyfriend?"

"Both."

It wasn't long after that that you began to snore against his neck. Scott smiled into the dimly-lit bedroom. He had seen you without your makeup, and you both loved each other just the same. Of all the transformative experienced he'd had during his life—some good, some bad, some large, some small—that day might just go on his list of top five.

[underthebluerain]

FAVE CREATORS ART CHALLENGE

The premise is simple. Just think of your fave creators on this site and write a post listing some of your fave creations that were made by them. Tell them why you like it, if the coloring is pretty, if the blending is top notch, if it inspired you or just gush about the characters... And don't forget to tag them so they can see it.

Radskier Kiss by @misterkarchie

What goes through my mind when I see this art is "Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind." Enough said, I think. Actually, no. I really like that it's b&w -some pieces look better like that than in color, imo. Love the pose and the hand-holding, and how soft the hair looks!!! The lil' tear in Radovid's eye GOT ME. This looks so romantic and sweet I want to look at it forever.

Rhaenicent Appreciation Week Day 2 by @maxanor

Oh, you feel the show's relationship between Alicent and Rhaenyra wasn't heartbreaking enough? Gifmakers got you covered! In all seriousness, the blue&gold compliment each other so well here. The blending is fantastic (special shout-out to the first gif with its mirroring tree scenes). The quote is as melancholic as these two, and the waterdrop effect... and the fact that it's used to transition from present to past… and how it makes it feel like tears falling on it because of the nostalgia of their happy memories??? Wow.

16 Years Of Merlin by @ughmerlin

I absolutely dig the VHS edits I've seen around this year, and this one is fantastic. Love that each season is color-coded and how each gets a few iconic scenes (and it can't have been easy to pick!). The blending is amazing, and the little circles with a choice quote are a cute touch. BBC Merlin was the very reason I joined tumblr, I can't believe it's been that long since it aired, and I can't believe that not only the fandom is still active but also making such cool pieces. I don't recall if I was still using VHS by the time I watched it, but this makes me feel like I can just pop it in and relive my first tumblr hyperfixation.

Family Tree Of House Nymeros Martell Of Sunspear by @ivashkovadrian

I've never been in a book fandom so dedicated to facecanons, and they're super fun! This one must have been A LOT of work. So many different characters from different pieces of media being brought together to represent characters that are unseen on screen, plus all the planning and organization to make everything fit and look good. Love the backgrounds, with a texture that reminds me of old parchment -special mention to the first gif with the gorgeous sea shot, and the second where the army appears to be riding into the unknown sandy void of the desert. And lastly I love to see fictional family trees, it kind of scratches an itch in my brain.

The Borgias Costume Appreciation 56 by @lady-arryn

As a costume-obsessed viewer, I have reblogged my fair share of costume edits on tumblr, and I can say with certainty lady-arryn's are the best. Eliza manages to gif crisp even the little details of the clothing and does gorgeous collections of outfits in different media. Although an incredible gifmaker overall who also has fantastic concepts, blending, fonts and coloring in other types of edits, I think making these costume edits is deceptively difficult! I could've pulled up any example, but I chose this one because this dress is one of my favorites. Along with that gauzy, dreamy sharpening, the coloring makes the red POP in a beautiful way. I once kept this gifset open on my browser for like an hour while doing other things simply because I wanted to keep looking at it.

Radskier + And If He Sinks To Darkest Night by @naumaxia-art

Kit is one of the visual artists who has been keeping this fandom watered throughout the drought, and I am very thankful for it. I love the layout of this piece in particular, which calls to mind the kings of a deck of cards. The cloudy orange to dark works wonders as a background that's pretty but doesn't steal attention away from the main event. LOVE the details (the tiny buttercup on Radovid's hand! The signet ring on Jaskier's! How soft and flowy the hair looks in the breeze!). And how they're together but back to back, separated but thinking about each other. The star-crossed lovers of it all......... Yeah.

Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs + flowers by @endiness

Kai's colorings are always incredible, animation or live-action, it does not matter. I LOVE the sheer vibrance of them, taking me right back to the time in tumblr where this kind of extremely colorful gifs were everywhere. I struggled to pick one, but Snow White was my favorite movie as a child, and I love to see people giffing it, especially so beautifully. Plus, my grandmother watched this film in theaters and she absolutely loved it and was mesmerized by its color (I mean, it was 1937!). I wish I could show her the even more intense coloring of this gorgeous gifset of a simple lovely scene.

Kanthony + The Seven Stages Of Falling In Love by @crowley-anthony

There are many fandoms that have incredible talent (many of which are on this list), and Bridgerton is absolutely one of them. From the winning combo of blue&pink coloring (I am still amazed that people can just change a scene's coloring so dramatically and still make it look great), to the tiny quotes at the top of bottom that remind me of a movie poster, to the flawless blending, to the subject (who else is doing it like them, they're unhinged) to the level of detail (I did not notice the novel-esque writing background in the rings LITERALLY until i was writing this!!), this is an amazing example of that talent.

The Hunger Games Appreciation Week Day 01 by @nataliescatorccio

The best thing about finally watching this film for me was finally being able to unblock the tags and finally reblog all the beautiful edits people made of it. And this is the perfect example because!!! this!!! coloring!!! Becca's colorings being incredibly gorgeous is not new (her tutorials have really helped me this past year), but this set I feel is one of her best. I love an orange&teal combo, it's a trope for a reason (oxidized copper is such a beautiful color palette, a wise tumblrina once said). The blending is so good as usual. Putting this pairing with the Wuthering Heights quote is nothing short of brilliant, it fits scarily well. And the ombré in the font...

The Witcher: Wild Hunt Intro Monologue by @seance

As someone who this past year enjoyed The Witcher show, books and game, I love to see edits mixing and matching them, especially considering the frequent negativity one sees when it comes to this franchise. Pairing the truly epic monologue that begins the videogame with scenes from the Netflix show, this eerie edit blew me away with its incredible blending and striking coloring (and managing to make all these different scenes look well together in such intense yellow/blue can't have been easy). It managed to get me pumped for both the show and the game!

[skeletoninthemelonland]

I'm sorry about what you're going through with your family. Personally I've never had to move out quickly, but I've been in tight situations to stay out and this is what worked for me. Everything I'm outlining is assuming you're in the US and that you're 18+. If you're younger than 18 you're parents can report you missing and that's a whole shitload of problems.

1. If you don't have a job, get one. Even if it's part time and entry level. Barely any money is better than no money. If you can get a job making good tips, even better. But do what works for you. If you're worried about transportation, look for jobs in a city that has public transport and jobs near either bus or train stops. You can also Google how to build a resume if you don't have one.

2. Try to make a budget as best you can. That shit is hard and frustrating and it seriously sucks. But you'll be able to figure out exactly how much you need for rent, groceries, transportation, and utilities. To get an idea for rent prices, check out Zillow or apartments.com in cities you're interested in. Preferably close to your job so you can spend less on transportation, but not many people get that lucky.

2.5. Look in Facebook, Craigslist, and other sites to find roommates. Roommates will DRASTICALLY decrease your rent cost. But meet them ahead of time, make sure they're legit. Online stalk them, talk with them, their contact info EVERYTHING you can know about them to make sure they're a good fit for you.

*you can do 1 and 2 interchangeably. If you don't know how much you'll need to make to afford an apartment, check out apartment prices first, then look for jobs in that area*

3. Reach out to anyone who can help you move. I know that's hard, but the worst people will say is no (I know that sucks too and I'm sorry I even had to write it) but if people in your life know your situation and that you're trying to leave, that you're working on a tangible plan, they'll be more likely to help.

4. If you're worried about not being able get back in once you're gone, try to pack things discreetly as possible and take only what's important so you can get it in one go. If you've got money to rent a moving truck, even better.

5. Keep tabs on any bills your parents might be paying for you, like a phone bill. You'll need reliable internet to help find jobs and places to live. If you don't think you'll get to have that, get a library card. Libraries have public access to computers and the ability to hook you up with a TON of community services. Plus library cards are free which is nice.

I'm sorry that's all I've got off the top of my head. I hope you get the help you need!! You are loved 💜

thank you so much!!!

though i'm not from the US, some of the things you listed might work for me. i also wanna figure out how i can leave with someone else so we can both work together to sustain ourselves, so i think that should count as a roommate? i can't really abandon them.

i wanna try finding a temporary job (though college classes are suspended now, once it returns they'll take majority of my day) and make comissions.

[mysticsparklewings]

OhuHueVember Prompt List

Finally, I can share the surprise I’ve been working on! 😆 (Though admittedly later in the day than I really wanted...)

After years of wanting to try out Huevmber, I finally thought of a way to make it work for me, all because I spend far too much time thinking about markers. 🤪 And I did my best to make it easy for others to join in, if you want to!

I tried to get all the essential information on the images themselves but y’all know me by now—If you need more information, I’ve got a MUCH longer write-up hiding behind the "Keep Reading" button + a Spreadsheet, if you need it, too! ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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Before I get into my usual long-winded description (and trust, it will be long), if you want to actually follow this prompt list—Or the Weekly version—here's what you need to know (some of which is already stated in the image, but I want to keep things as clear and easy to understand as possible!):

Here's the "Official" Spreadsheet that has all of the color codes, Honolulu color names, and some additional information like recommended Light/Dark blend pairings for each color typed out, both in case the image format doesn't work for you and also because some things like the Light/Dark blends just wouldn't all fit in one image. [A sample photo of the Light/Dark blend pairings will also be available soon, and I'll add a link here when they are, but I unfortunately ran out of time to have them ready to post alongside the list

As the upper right corner says: This challenge is not officially affiliated or sponsored by Ohuhu, I just like the markers and have had them on the brain a lot lately!

This is open to all mediums! While this challenge was inspired by working with Ohuhu markers traditionally, as the image says: If you don't have these specific markers or colors, use what you do have! This includes doing the challenge digitally if digital tools are what you have, or whatever other medium you're comfortable with and have access to: Original Art, Coloring Pages, Card Crafting, etc. The point is to play with color and have fun, so as long as you're doing that, pretty much anything goes!

Likewise, as the image says: The idea is to focus on 1 Color ("Hue") Everyday in November, but you can use as many colors as you want each day as long as the "Color of the Day" is the main focus/main visible color.

I've provided a Weekly version of the list in case the full 30 is too much, but you can pick-and-choose words from the full list however you'd like if you're not crazy about the colors I picked for the Weekly version, or if you want to shorten the challenge in a different way. - Do note though that the 5 colors I chose for the Weekly version were selected to specifically work well as a 5-color "mixing" palette to make those 5 colors stretch farther as a limited palette, if you're up for a little extra challenge. Based on this video by Peter Donahue.

Tagging me is appreciated, but not required! However, do note that I will Like & Share posts that I can easily identify as being related to the challenge on platforms where I'm able to do those things. If you want me to see and share what you made, Tagging me makes it easier!

Remember that my views on these Month-Long Daily Challenges is that it's about the challenge of completing a certain amount of creative pieces in the time given...And that's pretty much it, so as long as you're doing that and having fun, I'm really not bothered about how you choose to follow the list! My Inktober motto has always been "work smarter, not harder," and this is no different!

I think that's all the stuff you need to know to participate, but if you're curious in hearing more about my thoughts/process in putting this challenge together, read on!

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Would you Sparklers believe that I was so excited about sharing this that I had trouble staying asleep until time to get up this morning? 😆 It's true!

Either way, some of you are probably wondering just as much as I am what exactly has gotten into me lately: First I make my own prompt list for October—something I can't say I ever previously thought I'd do—and now here I am just having finished that list with yet another daily, month-long challenge...And I made this list, too! 😱

Some of you may have noticed that as we went through Obscutober this year, there were various points where I hinted at working on something marker-related and/or something for November. If you haven't figured it out already, this is what that was about! 🤭

And you'd think I would have learned my lesson about taking on one Daily Challenge after another back in 2021...

I'm sorry, Sparklers, I just had the mid-typing realization that the last time I took on a daily challenge in November was also immediately after the last time I did Obscutober instead of Inktober and my brain froze for a second. How did I not notice that before??

What was I saying? Oh.

At that time, I took on @ProjectEducate's 30 Days of Art Challenge, but I also attempted to dial things way back for myself by using it as an excuse to playing more Animal Crossing: New Horizons rather that making full-blown artwork everyday..And while that did help, it still turned out to be my challenging than I expected. 😅

That's one of the primary [ha] reasons I've never participated in the "traditional" Huevember challenge for November, even though I found it very appealing when I discovered it existed. I know myself, and just the same as I typically don't have the stamina to do Inktober in a "normal" way, I know I definitely don't have the stamina to do Huevember in a "normal" way immediately following Inktober (even if I do account for the fact that I do Inktober in weird ways).

Making my own list makes that no different, but then...What are we doing here? 🤔

Well, all of this really stems from the fact that—as I believe I've mentioned somewhere before, maybe multiple places—I've been spending quite a lot of time over on Reddit discussing and answering questions about Ohuhu Markers. As it stands, Ohuhu themselves doesn't provide a ton of resources for the markers, so it largely falls back on the user community to fill in the gaps, and it happens that I know, keep track of, or otherwise have close-at-hand a lot of "gap" information specifically for the purposes of keeping my Ohuhu Swatch Chart up to date.

I also do just really like the markers, so as much of a chore as it can be to keep track of all the information at times, I really don't mind getting the opportunity to just nerd out about them a few times a week.

The thing is, as is not too difficult to notice if you look at my art posting history, I haven't actually had a whole lot of time or allowed myself as much opportunity as I'd like to make actual art with my Ohuhu markers.

So back in September while I was trying to figure out what in the world to do for Inktober this year and one of my friends offhandedly suggested a "Swatch Challenge" for Inktober, in a matter of minutes my brain connected dots from "Swatches" to > "Colors" to > "Huevember" to > "Ohuhu" to > "OhuHUE"!! "Huevember but with Ohuhu markers, specifically!!" 💡

While obviously not really at all helpful for figuring out Inktober, that did sound like a great way to take advantage of how much the markers have been on my mind lately and participate in the Ohuhu community some more beyond being, essentially, a sentient FAQ page. 😆

So, as crazy of a move as it felt—and still does—What time I wasn't planning for and then working on Obscutober during September and October (and wasn't spent either dealing with IRL things or giving myself some much-needed break time in between), I spent trying to pull things together to make this challenge possible.

Those things included (not really in a particular order as a lot of these things I went back-and-forth with at various stages):

Picking the 30 colors that would be featured. The more natural choice probably would have been to "match" Ohuhu colors to the existing Huevember colors, but after thinking it over, I decided it would be better to try and keep things more accessible, if I could. Not everyone will have the big 320 set of Ohuhu Honolulu colors to choose from, but I know a lot of people will probably have at least the "standard" 48 colors that the Honolulu line started with—Either because like me, that's the set they started with, or because those 48 colors are all included in quite a few other "standard" sets.

For what it's worth, I did consider starting with the 24-count Honolulu set colors to try and make the colors even more accessible, but that set has NO orange in it for some reason and I wanted this challenge to be as colorful as possible, so I didn't really want to include black or grey if I could help it.

In the other direction; I very nearly included R13 from the 72 set to try and flesh out the purple sleections more, but I noticed that while I was putting the suggested blends together, the light/dark blends that make the most sense with R13 made the trio-blend look nearly identical to the trio blend for PB2. So in the end, I decided to just shift the Dark blend on PB2 to a slightly more purple-y blue and leave R13 out after all.

In exchange, P3 got added to the list...which made things a little harder in figuring out the trio blends for P4, but my only other option for purple in the 48 set was R11, and in my blend testing it proved even trickier to deal with. 🙃

Picking said Light/Dark blend for each color. This most involved a lot of swatching and test blends, which was easily the longest and most laborious part of the process.

And as stated at the top of the description, I fully intended to have a sample photo to show you those blends in action—I have swatch cards all labelled and everything!—but I simply ran out of time to have that ready to post alongside the list today. 😅

I'm still going to do the samples, it'll just be either later today or tomorrow before they're ready. Either way, I'll post a link here when they are!

I'll spare you the nitty-gritty on the process of picking out said blends, but suffice to say there was a LOT of back-and-forth that took up 5 pieces of cardstock—some of them front and back—because I wanted blends that stayed "true" to the hue of each color, and still actually showed variation in the lightness or darkness of the color, but also were relatively "easy" blends that didn't take too much work to look smooth. At least on the type of paper I like to use (60-80 lb. cardstock or 80-100+ lb. mixed media paper). I did learn from another test that these blends do still mostly work on plain printer paper, for example, but it's not quite the same, so your mileage will vary a little bit on how easy the blends really are. Why did I find this step even necessary to bother with, for as much trouble as it was? Call it a symptom of the wider Ohuhu and alcohol-marker using community. People are always wondering what/how to blend clothes together well, and between that and trying to provide what accessibility to the challenge I can, offering pre-selected blends seemed like a good idea. [And, if I'm being totally honest, I didn't realize exactly how much work figuring the blends out would be and thought getting the chance to just play with color blends sounded fun when I made the decision to do it. 😅]

To that end, I also of course Determined reasonable Hex Code "matches" for each color. Again, this was largely an accessibility thing trying to account for people that either don't have the specific colors/markers listed and want to attempt to match the colors in some way, and to provide an option for any digital artists just in case any see the list and want to give it a try, especially since digital brushes that mimic alcohol marker behavior have become more popular in recent years.

As noted in the Spreadsheet, I both looked at multiple swatches of the actual real marker colors and was using some of those digital "alcohol marker" brushes to text how the selected digital color would behave. I'm quite sure some of my final choices aren't completely perfect picks, especially if you're working in a different program than I was (Procreate), but I at least stand by them as "reasonably close" options.

And just in case anyone passed by this post and is wondering, because I know I've seen people ask for it—I would in fact like to one day provide "reasonably close' Hex code matches for all of the Ohuhu Honolulu markers, but that is definitely a far-off project you should not expect from me any time soon after seeing just how challenging it was to do for these 30 alone. 🫠

Worth an additional here that I actually originally wanted to include hex matches for the Light and Dark blends to make "Light" and "Dark" versions of the prompt list itself for people who do have access to the 320 range and maybe wanted to play with color in different ways than the "base" tones, but again: Figuring out the hex matches for these 30 was trouble enough and I could tell I really, really was not going to have time to do that and the other prep work I still had left to do at that point.

Speaking of, I had to Determine Oahu matches or "close enough" alternatives for each color. Yet again the magic word is accessibility, and I've also noticed that the Oahu (no brush tip) markers just sorted get left out when it comes to Community Ohuhu Resources. Since we now have a Spreadsheet reportedly from Ohuhu themselves listing which Oahu and Honolulu colors match, it was important to me to include them, even if it was a little more work.

For all of the colors that had 1:1 matches, it really wasn't too bad. What through me for a loop was the few colors that didn't have 1:1 matches, so I had to go track down some swatch examples and make an educated guess which other Oahu colors would be closest. So there's your acknowledgement right now, just like the image says, I know at least a few of the Oahu colors aren't exact matches. Both because exact matches don't exist, but also the "closest" matches I did pick may not be fully accurate either since I don't own the Oahus and had to pick based on swatches over the internet. I'm sorry, this is the best I could do!

And of course, what I consider a key component of making Month-Long challenges accessible: I had to Put together a Weekly version!

As noted at the beginning and in the description for the Weekly version: I chose for the Weekly version were selected to specifically work well as a 5-color "mixing" palette to make those 5 colors stretch farther as a limited palette, if you're up for a little extra challenge. Based on this video by Peter Donahue. I had actually previously picked out 5 colors from the 320 Honolulu range after seeing Pete's video purely for fun. Alcohol markers notoriously aren't usually good for "mixing" to get new colors the way you would paints or pencils, but I was intrigued by his limited palette since he was working with oil paints, which kind of notoriously don't mix as vibrantly as other media. For the record, my original 320 set picks for the 5 colors are:

Y080

B070

PB2

RV080

YR3

Two of which were already in my selection of 30 for this challenge, and B070 was naturally super close to PB7. Initially, RP1 was a closer match to RV080, but in testing I found that R10 mixed better for this selection.

So really the only color I had to make a big compromise on was Y080. There's really nothing else quite like in the entire Honolulu range, but in my testing GY6 worked better than I expected as a substitute, considering the limited options I had to choose from here. And then I just lucked out that November technically takes up 5 weeks on the calendar, I just had to figure out the "spacing" so each color would get a reasonable number of days to work with, the same way that I adjusted the days for the Weekly version of Obscutober. [And frankly, that was easier to do here since November has 30 days and 30 divides evenly by 5.]

I did briefly re-visit the idea of sticking just to colors from the 24 Honolulu set so the Weekly version could be as accessible as possible, but long story short the longer I look at the color selections for that set, the weirder the stranger they seem, so I ultimately I couldn't help myself and just went with the colors I thought would be more versatile even if they're not likely to be as accessible.

I mean, after all, I was going to have a disclaimer that you can use whatever you want even if you don't have these specific colors anyway, so hopefully it won't be too big of a deal that I opted for the palette that I personally saw more use in. Oh, and for what it's worth: I did consider making a "Lite"/every-other-day version of this list like I did last month, but after seeing the "Lite" version was not a popular choice last month and acknowledging I already had my work cut out for me, I decided it didn't really seem worth the extra effort when I fully believe everyone is capable of skipping days on their own as they see fit.

And then, of course, another step that ended up being trickier than I expected: I had to figure out how to compile all of this information, or at least most of it, in a single image. (Well, okay, two images including the Weekly version, but you get the idea.)

Again, I'll spare you the nitty-gritty, but I will say that while I did clearly figure something out, I nearly completed another version in a more typical list format before deciding I didn't like how little you could actually see the colors themselves in it. I don't know about you Sparklers, but "Huevember" makes me think colorful, so that's how I wanted the list/post image to be.

In the midst of trying to figure out a better way to do the list for maximum information + maximum color + maximum clarity, I paused to work on the wrap-up template for this year's Obscutober (which yes, is still a thing I'm going to do, probably tomorrow), and it was from doing the calendar format for that from which sprang the idea to try a calendar format for this! 😃

If you look at one of my usual Inktober wrap-ups, you'll notice it's still not 1:1 because I had a lot more text information that needed to be here, but y'know I think it was a pretty great solution, all things considered. 😊

Though, for the record, the Weekly version was originally going to have the bars for each "week" in proper calendar format too—spread over the actual calendar days each one would take up—but that was scrapped because the longer I looked, the more confusing that layout looked for the actual information. So I sacrificed the cheekiness in the name of making it clear and easy to get the information you need from that version.

You might have guesses that even though I was working on this in the background for nearly two months that I still maybe bit off more than I could chew by the fact this is going up both on November 1st instead of a couple of days in advance (like I was very fortunately able to manage with Obscutober) and it's also going up in the very-late "afternoon" instead of more like around lunchtime. 😅

I really, really did my best to have everything ready before now, but the last couple of weeks of October proved much busier than I expected. I probably should've seen that coming because that always seems to happen when I'm working on a time-sensitive project that's big and important to me, but I can't see the future and I can't just never work on another big, important project again because I'm afraid that'll happen, so... 🤷‍♀️

I just have to accept this is the way things turned out and try not to be too hard on myself about it. It was a lot of work and still deserve credit for that, at least!

Speaking of: Some of you might be wondering about that long-ago mentioned point: "I know myself, and just the same as I typically don't have the stamina to do Inktober in a "normal" way, I know I definitely don't have the stamina to do Huevember in a "normal" way immediately following Inktober..." That is still true, and I do not plan to approach my challenge here in a "normal" way either, for that reason.

But, much like my logic of "well, I made the list, I should use it," for Obscutober, after all the work I put into this, I am still going to use the list/participate, and not just the Weekly version either. [Though I fully admit just doing the Weekly version would probably be the smarter thing to do for me...]

I'll try and keep this brief since the description is certainly enough of a book already and the sooner I can wrap this up and get it posted so other people can actually participate if they want to, the better, but:

I've been wanting to get back into just coloring in Adult Coloring books (or single pages made for that audience) occasionally, as I've unintentionally moved away from that hobby for a few years when I used to do it all the time. When I first started, the hobby was still pretty new and niche, and sharing finished pages felt "wrong" to try and mix in with my regular art posts, but things have noticeably changed since then.

And in particular, using Ohuhu markers in adult coloring books has actually become pretty common.

So that's the first part of what I'm going to do to try and scale this challenge back so I can still particpate be hopefully not overwhelm myself: After some consideration of options, I've printed out some of Johanna Basford's similar illustrations on small, 2.5" x 3.5" cuts of my favorite mixed media paper—Artist Trading Card size!—and those are what I'm going to color for the month.

The second part of how I'm going to scale back is that, while I am going to actually color something every day for the challenge, I'm only going to post my finished results once a week. Because I found/remembered during Obscutober that since I both like to type out these long descriptions (even when it's not really necessary) and cross-post to about a dozen places, the actual posting-everyday-process is what really wears me out and gets me down, often far more than making the art itself typically does. 🫠

I admittedly had much grander plans and was hoping to still post every day in some way when I first set out to make this challenge, but I think if you've read the description this far, you'll understand why I had to change course for my own sake. 😅

Speaking of...Let me think for a moment if this might be it, if I've explained everything I wanted to both about the challenge itself and my approach to it...

I think so, but there was a lot to cover so hopefully if I did leave anything out, it wasn't that important and I can either edit this description or just touch on it at some later point during the month.

Either way, I hope if anyone does want to participate—as I am boldly assuming at least a few people will—I hope you're not too upset and/or can forgive me for not being able to post this sooner so you could get started sooner. As discussed, I did my best and I feel any frustration or disappointment you may have with the posting time of the list, 100%. But I am unfortunately only one human that can only do so much in a day's time that does not have the budget to hire an assistant to help me do stuff like this at this point in my life. 🙃

Oh! For the record, I don't plan to make this a yearly thing, which is why I've not put a year on the image or in the title. Mainly because having to pick all-new colors would really mess with the various points of accessibility I've tried so hard to keep, so if this does turn out to be a thing people want to do again, my plan would honestly be to just use the same list in perpetuity, and maybe just add onto it with some of the things and ideas I didn't have time to flesh out the way I wanted this year. However, that said, I'm not fully opposed to revisiting the idea of wholly new color assortments in the future if this version proves successful enough. What exactly that "enough" is I won't know until I see it, but I did just want to lay all my cards on the table for people who might be curious about long-terms plans here. Now, if you all will excuse me, I best go ahead and get this cross-posted while there is still some sun in the sky and, as mentioned, after that I still have a few other things on my plate that need my attention for the day—including my own participation in the challenge!

So, whether you choose to participate or not: Here's to starting the month off strong and having fun! 🥂 And good luck to us all!

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List Design  © me, MysticSparklewings

This Challenge is not officially affiliated with or sponsored by Ohuhu

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[melbatron5000]

The confines of a story

Any time you play a game, you need to know the rules. A puzzle has a border, you can't smash the pieces into a spot they don't fit with a hammer (I mean, you can, but it won't look right when you're done), etc.

My mental assumptions are that we are following the rules of stories as told in both novel form and video form. I'm not going to list ALL the rules associated with storytelling in both forms, because whole books and classes have been written about them and the parameters are way too big.

How do I know these rules? Well, I write novels, too. I'm not Neil Gaiman, (and I'm not going to go so far as to say I'm anywhere near his level, looking at you, Magic Trick OP), but the people who've read my books say they like them, so I think I do okay? I never went to school for any of it, but the library was and is my best friend, and I've read as many books and taken as many workshops as I can on this topic. Am I an expert? Nah. I know some stuff. There's always more to know.

So anyhow, some rules:

Rule one: the story has to be generally satisfying and not make people feel betrayed or angry. Hurt is fine, angry at the characters is fine, tricked is fine, but the reader can't feel betrayed or totally let down by the author at the end of the story. It's impossible to avoid this entirely, but most people in general have to agree that the story isn't a betrayal of the reader. The author needs to keep faith with their reader as best they can.

Rule two: in mysteries, all the cards need to be on the table at some point. Misdirection or downplaying of important information or use of double-meaning words are totally fair tactics, but the answer has to be there to be sussed out by a clever observer. (I got really mad when I tried to read murder mysteries for a little while. I figured this rule out very quickly on my own, and I could always spot the killer by the end of the second chapter. I gave up on murder mysteries. HOWEVER, another author I admire wrote a classic murder mystery-style book, and when I spotted the killer in chapter two like always, she had arranged matters so that the killer's motive was shrouded in deep mystery. I burned through that book to find out WHY he dunnit, and when the main character helped the killer escape at the end, I was troubled but satisfied.) But mah point is, all the pieces to the puzzle need to come in the box.

Rule three: (which isn't really a rule so much as an observation and something I myself struggle with), writing fiction can be very hard because people are naturally not good at knowing that other people do not know what they know. You know? Psychological studies have shown that when a person knows something, like where an object is, they develop this sort of assumption that the object's location is OBVIOUS, or that other people also know where the object is or can easily guess it, no matter how hard a time they had guessing it themselves before they were told. So not only do newer writers sometimes struggle to maintain what various characters do and don't know at different times in a story, readers can also struggle with the same thing. Gotta keep your eyes peeled for what information each character actually has, and also keep in mind how easy it is to be fooled when you think you have all the facts. I notice Neil and John taking advantage of this in Good Omens a lot -- the lies that Crowley and Aziraphale tell to the other angels and demons seem really obvious -- but that's because we know they are lying and what they're lying about. When we are lied to, we fall for it as easily as those angels and demons, because we assume we know what's going on. Watch out!

Rule four: you can't break the rules. If you're going to make a wild, avant garde, ground-breaking story, that's pretty much the whole point of the entire story. Twists are fine, emphasizing or de-emphasizing expected tropes or ideas is fine, subverting a trope is fine. Otherwise, you have to stick to ideas, formats, plots, structures, etc., that have come before. For example, just as I started seeing metas about the POV characters in Good Omens 2 jumping around, I had remembered an episode of the X-Files from way back where an "alien landing" is told from three characters' perspectives. When told from the POV of the alien conspiracy-believing kid, the story gets really weird with all kinds of wild things happening. When told from doubting Scully's perspective, it gets very boring and mundane. POV jumping is nothing ground-breakingly new. There won't be anything ground-breakingly new.

Rule five: it has to make sense. Mark Twain once said, "Of course truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense." Once upon a time, a friend of mine who liked to embellish stories told me all about his new fiancee, who he'd met and proposed to all in a few months, who was head over heels for him, a gorgeous red-head, one of triplets. I never met this mystery woman, and then one day he called me to tell me she had died very suddenly and dramatically. I had my suspicions that she wasn't even real in the first place, so I made consoling noises and asked him when and where the funeral was so I could be there for him. I expected to be put off, told some crazy reason why there wouldn't be a funeral or it hadn't been planned yet and I would somehow mysteriously not hear about it until it was over. Instead, he gave me a date and location immediately. I was taken aback. I was even more taken aback when I arrived at the funeral to meet this woman's family, including the remaining red-headed pair from her triplet set, and hear all about what a whirlwind romance she'd had with my friend. If that had been a novel, I would have shut the book and told the author to give me a break. Books and TV and movies and plays can't push the consumers' credulity too much. Readers have to maintain their willingness to suspend their disbelief. It can't get too crazy. What's too crazy? Hard to say, it's kind a of a "I'll know it if I see it" sort of thing. And some people are certainly more willing to go along with something wild than others. The author can only try their best to maintain faith. To tell a story that can be believed.

Anyhow, I dunno if that's helpful at all, but it's sort of the litmus test I'm using to gage all my questions and theories. And what I'm using to shuffle in the metas and theories I like from others.

[melisusthewee]

Six Song Soundtrack

I was tagged by @greypetrel for this one, and even though I've been dealing with... A Lot outside of tumblr/fandom, getting to go through my playlists for this was a nice low-key soothing exercise. Digging deep into the Dragon Age fandom for this one, tagging some people whose OCs and musical tastes always intrigue me: @theluckywizard @blarrghe @warpedlegacy @ndostairlyrium and @oxygenforthewicked

Lord Quinn Julius Barrington Trevelyan's Sample Soundtrack (Inquisition - Trespasser Edition)

Event that defines your character's past:

For The Wicked - Friday Pilots Club This is Quinn's adolescence as a Grand Tourney squire with Horatio Morris as best friends and troublemakers until The Incident with Quinn and his brother that pretty much defined Quinn's relationship with his family, himself, and changed the directory of his life into what it became.

Don't cry don't wait for me Don't pray for me A little space is all I need Yeah I think it's all I need [...] Vanity's for the wicked Yeah could you miss me now that I'm burning down Petty things for the wicked But do you want me now that I'm burning out

How your character sees themselves:

Dirty Imbecile - The Happy Fits Peppy, upbeat, and lyrically tortured.

Count my little scars; I’ve got dozens down inside I come complete and invincible behind my dirty imbecile All these things I’ve tried, boy: Be cute, be dumb, be wise, be young So don’t tell me what to fear in the darkness of this atmosphere [...] Darling, dearest, don’t you see I’m tough, I’m smart, I’m bourgeoisie And I’ll play out this lie until we’re all dead [...] Am I good? Is all I could enough for you? I’m so scared of when and where I’ll find the truth

How others see them:

Boheme Supreme - Tape Five Inquisitor Trevelyan at his peak! The first song I ever associated with Quinn and was the inspiration for his tarot card.

A gentle gentleman, the swellest guy A prince of fairy tales, a castle in the sky He smells like royalty, drinks more of ill Smokes a big cigar, he's always dressed to kill [...] Who is the dandy? Who is that man? Whose got tomorrow in the palm of his hands?

Their closest relationship (romantic or platonic):

Battle Cries - The Amazing Devil Cassandra was Quinn's canon romance during DAI and even though his relationship with Solas was both complicated and extremely important for the way the plot progressed*, his relationship with Cassandra cannot be understated or forgotten. It was a good romance. It was an important romance. And even though it didn't last, I think it was important for their individual growth. Quinn learned he had more of a heart than he thought he did even if it wasn't the right one for her.

I won't let you turn our last night into this I'm going to binge watch a box set, drink wine, reminisce This isn't a break-up, dear heart, it's a season finale [...] All it took to unearth in the dust and the dirt Some release or respite from the heat and the hurt Was taking the time now and then to ask how I am

*Solas' song would be relegated to a different six song playlist if I did Veilguard-era Quinn.

A major fight scene:

Guillaume Versus the Shaelmaar - Marcin Przybyłowicz I don't really have a lot of "battle themes" I listen to for Quinn. I think that DAI had some pretty great themes like The Descent's main theme and the Trespasser album that fit the important fights perfectly. This is honestly the only fight scene track I have marked down anywhere and even though it is for something that technically occurs during the events of DAI, it's from an unfinished WIP fic wherein the Inquisition sends a delegation to the Grand Tourney in Markham. A whole bunch of shenanigans ensue, ending in Quinn (disguised as Blackwall) faces off against his older brother Emile in the final lists. This would be the soundtrack of their David and Goliath type showdown. (One day I will finish that fic; I've done too much Free Marches worldbuilding not to.)

End Credits Song:

The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace - The Amazing Devil/The Other Side of the Sea - Kohta Yamamoto One lyrical song and one instrumental for the closing credits. Joey Batey's anguished voice is the perfect representation of where Quinn ends up in the aftermath of Trespasser. Originally this was meant to represent Quinn post-Trespasser and during the DA4 era but to be honest in the wake of Veilguard it feels even more like a song bridging the two (especially if substituting the Inquisitor for Rook like I've kind of been doing).

I'm all yours, but you're all mine Let's dance together, you and I 'Cause I'm not trapped with you, you see You're the one who's trapped with me 'Cause I've been here so many times before Don't you think I look pretty Curled up on this bathroom floor? But where you see weakness, I see wit Sometimes I fall to pieces Just to see what bits of me don't fit 'Cause I when I stand oh those folks will run And tell the tales of what I've become They'll speak of me, oh in whispered tones And say my name like it shakes their bones

The instrumental that follows is something I've have written down as associating with House Trevelyan and therefore one of Quinn's instrumental themes so it's a good closer.

[deathswcrn]

Send me ★ + a name of another muse / character in my muse's canon and they'll talk about their relationship with them @katabasiiis sent me a shopping list

TORE

★ tore and gunnar

"My father is.... he loves, this I do not doubt. But I don't think he understands, most of the time. He has always been content with a lot that would suffocate the life from me. He doesn't understand why I claw for more, why living a life where the only names I ever knew were people I'd known from birth would be a kind of death for me. But how would he know? He fits. I do not."

★ tore and svana

"My dear mother. I worry sometimes her heart would break to see what I've become. I know she still sees the little boy tugging at her skirts in her mind's eye. I cannot allow her to fathom what creature she has borne. But.... perhaps she already knows. She is too sensible to turn her gaze away from uncomfortable truths."

★ tore and vigdis

"I know she would go to the end of the world for me. How can knowledge be so soothing and so terrifiyng at the same time? I hope her gaze never leaves the edge of our hometown. I hope she never sees me in need. I hope my sister remains innocent."

★ tore and isolfr

"How different we are. And yet, I thank the Gods that in their twisted ways, we got to be brothers, because you were certainly all I could ever have hoped for. I hope you are happy. You deserve to be."

★ tore and hrothmar

"You are the only corpse I have ever regretted digging up."

★ tore and sigrid

"We have not always seen eye to eye - for this, I am sorry. But I treasure the fact we met. I treasure every moment you lavish on me. I treasure the life you wanted to have with me. I treasure that you see who I am, and you do not flinch away. I scarcely believe it, sometimes. I hope I am worthy of it."

★ tore and his kids

"What unexpected delights to have fallen into my lap, you all turned out to be. Runa, my little shadow. Sofie, my little sweetheart. And Ari, oh, Ari. They are every bit their mother's child, and I love them all the more for it."

BREINA

★ breina and gideon

"He's my da, aint he? Maybe he's not responsible for me bein' alive or anythin', but he stepped up when he didn't have to. He made me strong. He made me loyal. He made me... me. Picked me up when I skinned my knees and was the first to cheer when I got it right. Yeah. He's my da, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

★ breina and sigrid

"Pretty much a sister to me at this point. Who in the world gets me like my Siggy? No-one, that's who. Which means she ain't allowed to fuck my da no matter how much she keeps jokin' about it, because that'd be weird. You hear me, Siggy? Don't make our thing weird."

★ breina and isolfr

"There ain't anyone in the world I trust to fuck with my head like he does. I trust him. Probably more than I trust anyone, even my nestin' partners. But he's earned it, y'know? I've asked him to catch me an' he has, every time. Plus, he's just a fuckin' good time, pun intended."

★ breina and jack and cael

"What the fuck did I do to deserve either of you? I get Jack promisin' to heal my wounds an' Cael sayin' I'll never want for anythin' again, and I just turn to the universe and have to ask.... why? Not that I want 'em taken away, Gods no, just, generally... why? Anyway. When I'm with 'em, I can breathe deep, feel safe. Ain't no-one else I feel like that with."

★ breina and ronos

"Don't think I haven't got you figured out, Caedron. You an' me, we're more alike than you'd ever admit. Not just 'cause we've both got a taste for card games. I do look forwards to our games, though. Even though you're a lil' intense about them. You know, it can just be a card game sometimes, right? Anyway. Anythin' for family, right?"

★ breina and scout

"WHO'S A GOOD DOG? WHO'S THE BEST GIRL? SCOUT IS, THAT'S FUCKIN' RIGHT SHE IS!"

IACHESIS

★ iachesis and his parents

"Was I ever more than a carefully crafted heirloom you could etch your name into? Did you care that I, Iachesis, achieved something incredible, or just that an Aelsinian did? Not that it matters now, you both made sure of that, but the closure would be nice."

★ iachesis and casira

"You are such a puzzling woman. When I was someone, I was nothing to you, and now I am nothing, now I'm something to you. I suppose I should be grateful it happened that way around, but it makes no sense. Compels me, though. You've certainly found a way to get me to keep coming back."

★ iachesis and ronos

"You must be having kittens at what Casira and I are doing. I would apologise, but I'm not exactly sorry. I get a wonderful woman, and on our own terms. And in the end - didn't you get what you wanted? Casira and I, together?"

★ iachesis and olivia

"You are sweet, and I do not envy your position, not at all. But if you need help and for some reason this disgrace seems like the one you need to speak with, I will do my best. It's all I can do."

[purplesurveys]

1944

Is your closet disorganized? It's not at the moment. I do have a great talent at slowly making it more and more chaotic lol, but when that happens I just do a hard restart and fix it back to how the clothes should look like.

Have you ever been to Times Square? I haven't but I would love to. I feel like I'd really enjoy my time there.

What TV shows do you watch on a regular basis? The only show I really ever enthusiastically rewatch would be Friends. I can't do that now, though, since they took it out of Netflix a few days ago. :( It's moving on Max when it launches in the Philippines later this month, and since I already have an HBO Go subscription (which will apparently rebrand into Max) I think I won't stay Friends-less for too long.

Have you ever accidentally left something valuable at a shop before? Not a shop, but I've left some stuff behind from events and never got to recover them. The things I feel most sorry for losing would be my pink Hydroflask tumbler (which I've had since college, so I was very attached to it huhu) + my power strip that I had bought just the day before.

What makes your life remarkable? Idk but I'm generally proud of myself for achieving as much as I have at 26 considering how shy I used to be or how much I really doubted myself since childhood. I still do...but I guess I'm just good at faking it till I make it.

Are you putting off doing anything that you really need to get done? Kind of, yeah.

What is the last thing you scribbled down on a Post-It note? Just work notes.

What are you currently listening to? I can hear the ceiling fan and a bit of my mom's TV upstairs, but other than that it's quiet.

How would you react in discovering your best friend was seriously obsessed with you? I'd tbh go straight to her fiance and ask what's going on and how I can help.

Do you care if your produce is organic or not? No.

Do you have any children? If so, how old were you when you had them? If not, do you think you ever will? No. I don't think I will.

Do you eat meat? Yes.

Do you get enough calcium? I like to think so. I drink milk everyday lol, for one.

Do you think before you act or speak? That's something I've definitely learned how to do more and more the older I've gotten and the more people I meet.

Do you have a SwagBucks account? I have no idea what that is.

Are you nosy? I could not care less.

Do you always try on clothes before purchasing them? No, it's such a hassle. I just pick something if I like it, find it in my size, and pay. Fitting takes such a long time considering I'll get it anyway lmao

Is there anything in your closet with the tags still on? I don't think so, no.

Are you happy with the size of your bedroom? It's the right size but I'm also looking forward to having a bigger room just for the sake of being able to experience having a spacious room.

Do you add people you don’t actually know on Facebook? No and I genuinely don't understand why others do that. Facebook, at least where I'm from, is different from other platforms in that it's designed for your personal network and keeping up to date with their lives. That said I uhhhh would have absolutely no reason to be adding strangers and knowing about their vacations or seeing their family photos. That idea is so weird...even stalkerish...to me.

What’s your favorite condiment? Mayonnaise. Chili garlic oil. Sesame oil!!!

Would you even want to know how much of your life has been spent online? Yes just out of curiosity but I know I'd be so ashamed of myself once I find out the number haha.

Do you shop at American Eagle? No.

List 5 things you’re afraid of: Losing a loved one, fire, cockroaches, rats, sharp objects.

Have you forgotten anything important recently? Ahaha last Wednesday I was out for a work meeting only to realize pretty late that I did not have either of my debit cards + my driver's license – I had transferred them into a smaller purse the other day when I went out for a family lunch and never got to place them back in my wallet. Fortunately I had my employee ID with me, but I still felt so stupid.

Would you say you’re an honest person? More often than not, yeah. If anything, I feel like I'm only ever dishonest toward myself – like about my personal feelings and frustrations and insecurities and such. In front of everyone else, though, I find it a waste of time to bullshit them.

The last Facebook message you received from the opposite sex, what did it say? It was just him telling me how to buy a PS5, haha.

What does the nicest message in your Facebook inbox say? I don't really keep track of stuff like that.

Is your best friend single? Nope.

What color was the ink of the last pen you wrote with? Black.

What does your pencil-case look like? I don't have one.

Where was the last place you went that was totally new to you, as in, it was the first time you’d been there? Good question. I wanna say Amici? I've had their food before, but I've never actually dined in their restaurant. It was a pleasant experience and the servers were all very nice.

When was the last time you used someone else’s computer? Around a month ago when I asked for permission to use Tina's laptop since she has Canva premium on hers.

Who do you dislike the most? Explain what you dislike about that person. I don't like one of my uncles because he's always been a useless dad who's done nothing but drag my hardworking, self-made cousin down...he's also a terrible TERRIFUCKINGBLE husband and has never kept a stable job...not to mention the fact that he subscribes to Nazism? You're fucking Filipino, what the fuck are you doing being a Nazi hello ahahaha??? It's just so frustrating watching a man have no redeemable qualities whatso fucking ever lol

What’s the longest you’ve liked someone without doing anything about it? I dunno. Like 2, 3 months? I asked them out immediately as I wanted to give it a shot, at least.

Do you use straightening irons on your hair? What brand? No.

What’s the relationship status of the last person you talked to? Single. At least I think she is. I don't pressure her to tell me anything.

Is there anything you would like to complain about? Yeah work sucks and I wish I could find something that brings me joy again.

What’s the first line of the last song you listened to? "Dearest, darling, my universe, would you take me along?"

Think of the person from your past that hurt you the most. Is there anything you would like to say to that person? No.

Does your mom like the last person you kissed? I knew she did.

Now your cell phone, what color is it? Light blue.

What was so special about today? The actual day sucked, but this evening I treated myself to sushi and found out that WWE Network is back in the country so I subscribed heheh. First thing I watched was Paul Heyman's HOF speech and let's just say I'm so glad I chose that.

If somebody tried to steal your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend, what would you do? That's kind of happening already. Gut reaction was to talk shit about the person directly to Angela, especially because she was already crying about it so I had permission to be angry and petty lol.

What was the last thing you said to your mother? Can't remember exactly but she was asking me a luggage-related question since she'll be flying out with dad in the next two weeks, and I just answered her on that.

When was the last time you cried? LOL I teared up a bit watching Hello, Love, Goodbye this afternoon - but since I was watching with my sister and I never cry in front of family, I made up some bullshit excuse that I had to pee but really it was so that I could let it out in the bathroom hahaha

Has anyone made you upset lately? Not really, no.

What are you looking forward to? Seeing my dad. Not working in my workplace anymore...

Does anyone completely understand you? Sure.

Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Yeah.

Do you miss your past? I do miss some parts of it, but it's all in a nostalgic sense. I'm not like, caught up or feeling stuck in 2016 or anything like that.

Do you have a reason to smile right now? I do.

Are you a forgiving person? No.

Do you say sorry first? Yes, if I have to.

Do you like cats? I like cats now - Max helped me with that. I'm still very much a dog person but my previous slight dislike for cats is pretty much nonexistent now.

Has someone promised you something and broke it? Sure.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Just the pets.

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night? It doesn't, and unless it's coming from family I'd be a little pissed off if anyone would be calling that late. I would also 100% ignore the call.

Is there anybody you’re really disappointed in right now? No.

Have you ever lost someone you wish you didn’t? For a period of time I felt this way, but it's also been a long time since I got over it.

Are you anything like you were a year ago? Yeah, in that I'm still a ball of nerves and anxiety at work everyday.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? Sure.

Would you rather spend a day outside with friends or inside alone? I'd love to spend a day with friends, mainly because I already work from home 5 days a week and spend most of my time alone.

Think back to this time last year, were you happy? Not completely.

Has anyone upset you in the last week? Sure.

What should you be doing? I should be sleeping but like it's the weekend so I want to make the most of my precious free time before work shoots up my blood pressure again.

Describe how you feel right now in one word. Escaping.

What would you do if you found out one of your friends was going for the person you liked? I don't like anyone.

Do you prefer drinking water from a bottle or a sink? I can't drink from the sink in the first place; tap water is not a thing here.

Will you ever run away and get married in Las Vegas with no notifications to either of your families? No.

Have you ever thrown your iPod in anger? I can't recall ever doing so.

Who did you last have a heart-to-heart conversation with? Angela.

Do you believe that there’s good in everybody? Sorry, no.

Has anything happened to you within the past month that has made you mad? Yes.

Would you ever get a tattoo? Probably not. Needles be freaky.

[leeyanyanyaaan]

I FINALLY GOT TO WATCHING S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND LIVE ACTION AND IM???? my god it was so good im lost for words

BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM ALSO MAD AT EVERYONE (read: my dad, who hasnt even seen season 2 for himself bc he heard sm bad reviews) WHO TOLD ME IT WASNT GOOD/DISAPPOINTING AND THAT IT WOULDNT HAVE BEEN WORTH IT TO WATCH IT LIKE BRO WTF 😭😭😭💔

hot take: i genuinely think, in my honest opinion, season 2 was done so well and much better than season 1

Keep in mind that, as a self-proclaimed writer, writing comes first to me in any form of media i watch, regardless if its a live adaptation of a series i alrdy know abt or not; my opinion doesnt necessarily come from how "accurate" it is to its original source, but rather if how well its produced as a screen media production - altho i will admit, if i alrdy knew the origin series before the adaptation, i will definitely have some biad from my prior knowledge of the story.

so story time: talking w a friend, he suggested for me to read the alice in borderland manga, and since i only watched s1 of the netflix live action, i was like sure why not and went to read it. then i reached up to where s1 got up to and decided "hey why dont i rewatch all of s1 and then finally watch s2 so i can go in blind + reflect on the differences between LA and the og manga?"

and so i did, and having now freshly rewatched s1 + read the first part of the manga, here is my review: the execution/production of the live action was impressive and done really well, and they made sensible changes and additions to make it work for the show (ESPECIALLY the games that were originally filler chptrs in the manga and showing off arisu's intelligence!), but at times i felt that it didnt pull off the emotional moments/certain story points as well as the manga did. overall (at that point in time) it's definitely really good for a shonen live action if only the emotional moments had a bit more improvement.

and then i went watching s2 99% blind (1% being the fact i read a little bit until king of ♧'s game) and going into s2, from that small bit i read, i was alrdy preferring the direction/writing difference from the manga.

the end of s1 alrdy made a better establishment of the dealers/game management as well as the announcement of the face card games. from what i also saw in the opla, i think one of the necessary changes live actions have to make is to keep and utulize more major characters throughout the story instead of multiple short screen time supports for reasons such as adaptation length constraint, casting + screen time, etc. which i preferred a lot better bc we got more involvement of the supporting cast and the flow of the story was a lot smoother too! the relationship development between arisu and usagi was done so much better too (the konbini convo, im glad they changed how it went and didnt have arisu kissing usagi right then and there), which made their kiss at the onsen so much nicer! and then the queen of ♡s game! my god i loved all the psychological manipulation and more importantly the fact that it made sense!!! EVEN THE ENDING!!! i was waiting to be disappointed by a half-assed ending that made zero sense but i was pleasantly surprised and satisfied with the explanation/logic they gave behind the whole fiasco!

overall, alice in borderland? one of the best live action adaptations i've watched! (up on that list with business proposal, ruruoni kenshin and one piece ^^) i get the feeling that those unsatisfactory reviews of s2 was mainly bc hey couldnt appreciate the final queen of ♡s game psychology, the writing or the ending, and was expecting more action and dramatic ending, but imo it was very fitting considering that alice in borderland imo is more of a psychological series before everything else (like death note)

[lil-scout-precure]

Junior Eurovision 2023 Personal Ranking (by tiers, before the show).

First of all, hello. It's been some of a not long but still some time I've never made a text post here. Some things changed since then: I got a new job as a Web Developer since August (luckily). I'm about to get graduate from University. And well, some thoughts about my future and what I accomplished made me change some ways I think about life (and likings, for better or worse...depends)

But with Junior Eurovision 2023 on the go (and after enjoying Eurovision 2023 to the maximum), I knew I had to make a new opinion list. This time is a tier ranking, as one, most of the songs are ballads and I had to think a better way to rank them depending of my likings and preferences, and two, I'm not as impressed as last year's edition due to the previous fact.

So here it is, my personal tier-ranking for this year's 16 songs competing in Nice, France for the trophy!

Let's explain the ranking tiers, from lower to higher:

"I heard better ones in previous years": Let's face it, they're not too bad or plain as some NQs in adult Eurovision (or even some qualifiers), and for being made by/for children, they are a good start. However, personally, either they didn't catch me and/or I was expecting better from them (Georgia). Therefore, I would be surprised if the live version makes them look better.

"Unlikely but potential Top 5/Winners(?)": While not as awesome as the upper tiers, I found those songs more endearing/moving than the lowest one. And for some cases (France and UK), if placed well in running order and live delivery, who can't say they can't have a good score placing (or maybe, and I say MAYBE, win)?

"Not winners, but I identify myself with them": The wild card of the tiers. While I don't see them winning the contest so easily and there are BETTER songs I like, the reason they are above the two lower tiers is because somehow, by lyrics or the studio video (or both), I ended up sobbing/crying in the middle of work like Elemental's Wade got identified with them. If the staging allows them, they can achieve to be dark horses to get Top 5 or even victory

"I will kill OsterdahlEBU if they mess with the staging or the running order (or place the lower spots)/hj": The difference between these songs and my personal winners is very small (or the perception of the fandom in general). These ones are mostly because I can picture them with a well-done staging and vibes to become legends (and bias in case of Germany, since Ohne Worte deserves the best performance with the sign language detail and love put in it by Fia for her lil sister). And as the title say, the only thing that can totally ruin their chances are either the staging/live performance, and the running order (please NOT Germany starting the contest AGAIN, we know what happened to Pauline and Susan T-T). I wish them ALL the luck I have

"Very nice of them to invite other JESC artists to their concert": In my personal opinion, they have it ALL. They have strength in the song itself, the voices, the vibes, even their live staging (if things go well). Ireland because of the Celtic essence (and FRICKING Sophie Lennon joining Jessica), Spain because of the JESC-fit melody and dreams (please don't remove Sandra's swing, France TV, it's not Loreen's panini press), Netherlands because of their EDM and lifting song, and Armenia because of the UNEXPECTED (yet welcome) K-pop mode they are delivering. My televote is on their side, and they are the first ones I will vote for on Friday 24th. A crime if they somehow are placed LOW.

And that's all. My ranking resumee. In days I will share my more detailed personal opinions by tier. See ya!

[wordnerdworld]

Purse Inventory

So I recently switched things over to my normal summer purse....and I didn't really like the set-up. I didn't have quite enough room and got tired of fussing with things. So when I was out the other day, I decided to pick up a new, hopefully roomier, purse.

In preparation for that, here's an inventory of what I carry:

Packet of tissues--I love this "flat pack" style from Kleenex because they take up less space

Mints--sugar free; never Altoids; never cinnamon

Chapstick--usually either plain or maybe strawberry; not mint

Eyedrops--critical especially during allergy season and following long days of working/driving

Hand sanitizer--I keep getting them as freebies

Hand lotion--try to avoid anything too greasy or strong smelling

Phone wallet--I love being able to fit my phone, cash, cards, and a few coins into one object; I pick a wallet based on whether it can fit my phone and my purse based on whether it can fit my wallet

Small Sunscreen--new addition I've started carrying this summer

Wet wipes--the best way to clean up before/after eating

Small notebook--for parking/address reminders and impromptu shopping lists

Handkerchief--to blot away sweat in the summer

Pillbox--holds a few OTC meds and bandaids

Reusable shopping bag--this+pillbox+phone wallet is what I can't seem to fit properly in my last purse

Hand fan--if folds down into a little circle pouch!

Purse hanger--that I almost never use, but hope springs eternal

Nail file--in a case! so no accidental Texture issues

Tide pen--works great, but be careful on color fabrics

Menstrual cup--diva brand

Menstrual pad--a luna pad wrapped in a cariona pad

Nail clippers

Travel brush/mirror--can you tell I like collapsible things?

Scrunchie--I leave these everywhere at home

Sunglasses--cheap, but not too cheap

Pouch--membership cards, gift cards, coupons, business cards, etc.; stuff not important enough to carry in my wallet

Pen--to go with tiny notebook; useful at restaurants

Phone charger

Not pictured: work ID w/lanyard and keys (b/c they're in my bowl-by-the-door currently)

Sometimes I also carry a book/tablet with me if I'm traveling or going to be waiting somewhere. I think I can still fit that in my new purse.

I might add in a few safety pins since they came in helpful recently.

I don't consider this excessive. I like being able to be prepared to deal with basic minor ailments, accidents, incidents. But everyone's mileage varies on that sort of thing.

Not 100% certain how much I'll like the new purse. It's a very light blue that works great for summer time. But I'm a bit worried it will stain easily. I'll probably try to keep an eye out for a different bag from a brand I like if I can find the right layout in something other than black.

[prettytothink-so]

february (+ january) review

oh hey! yeah i basically dropped off the face of the planet in january. for some reason i've really felt more comfortable posting things unrelated to my writing on this barely-followed life-blog/main, so hi 👋 between waking up every day checking the news to find out if my entire field had been wiped out of existence by the new administration and having my work's education reimbursement benefit revoked preventing me from continuing on my MA, it's been ... a Time. i've been having A Time.

i'm ngl, i'm wildly stressed, veering between a thousand things, picking back up on a long-abandoned witchcraft practice, writing a lot and also not enough, just trying to find my footing, and feeling deeply, deeply resonant with XVI The Tower, my yearly card. so hi! here i am.

i'm not going to do monthly goals, tbh. i'm going to do monthly reviews and track highlights, but i can barely plan out a day right now, let alone a month. even when it feels like i *could* plan for a month, i don't want to!

i started this post on the 20th and i've slowly been collecting all the good things i can think of so there's a massive list under the cut. i basically plan to try to do something similar every month, or at least use this blog for its intended purpose (talking too much about myself) more often.

so i've already said the bad things, here are the good things:

all of my friends are equally impacted by what's going on and we're really circling the wagons and i feel more rooted in community than usual, not less. i stopped checking the news, which improved my mental health, and that's made me able to show up for my job in a much better way -- and my job, even when it feels like it's literally actively being threatened, has an actual, measurable impact on my community. i suddenly dove headfirst in the middle of february into some witchcraft practices i abandoned a long time ago, and it's been really nourishing. i started taking showers in the morning and it feels like a massage when i'm sore. i've worked out 3+ times a week (weight lifting) for 14 consecutive weeks (and i just broke my streak this week and that's okay because holy fuck my period tried to kill me). sometimes, i drink my morning coffee IN the shower, and it's almost always iced coffee i or my wife made for me the night before, and it's fucking delicious. the cups i use for my coffee fit perfectly in my shower caddy! i got really, really into legos. i have a mars rover and a bonsai tree my cat fucked up that needs rebuilt, and i've built half the LOVE by robert indiana one at the time of writing this into my draft so i've probably finished it by the time i post this, and others! i'm slowly working my way back to reading for pleasure again even though i literally read less because i have a CPAP machine now and can't read to go to sleep. that's made me an absolute insane frothing-at-the-mouth goblin for one specific ted lasso fanfic that i listen to every night before bed. i'm not afraid i won't read for pleasure anymore because of the disruption to that habit that grad school wrought, because i've already shown myself once i can read for pleasure again and so it's easier to imagine doing it again. i'm really into the idea of looking more butch so i've been eyeing clothes that make me feel like my heart is home. i'm trying to keep these all strictly about me, but my wife is the best thing that's ever happened to me. i found music that i like to write to for basically all of my current projects! i got the pants today and they're amazing and i feel fucking delighted in them. i told multiple people this week "i just wanna butch it up you know?" and "i'm going to get a collarbone tattoo that just says DYKE" and showed my mom and sister a photo of pablo schrieber and said "i just wanna look like him you know?". i told my coworkers i'm gonna wear pants to work (haven't ever in the 4 years i've worked there) and one of them gave me a rec and they're the pants i love. i wore them to work! and i got to tell them about my wife! and then i got to tell my two best friends and they happy cried for us!

[lost-highwayy]

Ahoy! 🌟

Merry Christmas and get well soon! Do you celebrate anything today on the 24th, or only on the 25th/26th?

I'm really bad at chess too, I never once won and it's never even close. But oh well. What are some of your favourite boardgames?

We finally got some snow the other day! In the city it melted quick, but up where I live it's still all white!

Oh, losing them on a trip is just the worst, that's when you need them the most!

It's really cool, and has a super nice, warm sound that I really like. It's not even that expensive either! I also have a Cort acoustic lying around, but it's a child sized one and not even mine... I'm supposed to take care of it for someone. Why do you not like your bass? It seems pretty cool to me based on a quick search!

I like a pretty weird comedy, so I might be checking it out over the holidays too 😁

It does have a similar vibe to paprikás if that makes any sense - if you like fish soups and paprikás, then you're sure to like this one too!

That sounds really good - I've never tried lamb, but that sounds like something very fitting for the holidays!

I've never heard of that album, but I will check it out now!

Oh, I see, that makes a lot of sense! We got to keep stuff like Christmas as we weren't exactly in the USSR just closely related, but my parents still joke about how during that time we had "pine tree holiday" instead of Christmas. (And it was illegal to give workers their pay just before it, so that they can't go buy fancy presents)

Yes, that's why I went to the Nick Mason concert too, they play my favourite era of Pink Floyd - I hope they're going to tour again, maybe then you get to go! Last time I checked BÖC are performing at things like rock themed cruises, so I might not be rich enough to ever see them haha

Oh, that's so cool to be able to see a band before you even really get into them - I think live is the purest from of hearing the music! And I hope Tom Keifer is going to tour again so you get to see him!

I'm feeling surprisingly good, usually I'm not so well mentally this time of the year. I'm doing some cleaning around the house these days, and tonight we have Christmas with my immediate family. On the 26th we have Christmas with the extended family and then I'm going to a party. But I'm actually working on the 25th, so it's not all fun and games haha. Do you have any plans?

I have a lot of special memories, it's been a really good year that I mostly throughoutly enjoyed! My favourite is maybe the small festival my best friend's girlfriend is an organiser of. Everyone was incredibly friendly, it was a really lovely atmosphere. And my favourite current Hungarian band, Hakumba was performing!

Do you have any favourite memories?

I should be making lists, because I'm always asked what I would like to get, but I just forget haha. Do you?

-⛄

hello!!

i'm a bit late as always but merry christmas!! i hope you have the best traditions! we celebrate on the 24th (also my brother's birthday haha) 25th and "in the USSR style" on the 7th of January. there is no such thing as too much christmas!

one of my favorite games right now is uno, as well as monopoly and some types of card games. and what about you? i'm so glad you have snow! that's what you need for a real christmas. though we still haven't had it again. apparently the grinch stole the snow haha.

my bass looks pretty cool but it's actually quite simple and requires an upgrade after purchase but for a beginner it's a good option.

now i definitely know i'll be making this on vacation! yes lamb is quite suitable for a holiday and it's especially nice when it's a special family recipe. oh some things from the USSR sadly spread to neighboring countries but i think that the holiday "Old New Year" in January fortunately remained only there lol.

oh i still hope that BÖC will perform somewhere besides cruises because we all would like to see them. i don't know much about their music but what i heard is definitely magical. and if you recommend something i will be happy. and i believe that Tom Keifer will decide to tour outside of America someday but probably not in the next year lol.

omg working on christmas is terrible haha! on this day i would only want to have fun but 3 years ago i also worked on christmas and at my work they constantly played the song Last Christmas. it was doubly terrible. but i hope after work your christmas will be wonderful! i think i managed to fulfill my plans i managed to buy more presents and give them and on sunday we will have a mini party with friends.

i am very glad that your year was wonderful! and left warm memories! and i wish the next year to be just as wonderful and bring lots of new impressions, travels and of course concerts! oh i would listen to the band Hakumba. to my shame i only know one old hungarian band Omega but they sound great! this year was quite difficult for me but i think the main memories are small trips. yes wishlists are very useful! but i usually give more than receive haha!

and once again merry christmas! my most sincere wishes for you! 🩵🎄

[sentientgopro]

Okay, so I know this might sound odd, but I kinda want to keep track of how my feelings have been changing seeing as my life just turned upside down a few days ago. Something feels weird about keeping a note to myself, idk why, For some reason I feel kore comfortable posting it to the internet. Well, I guess that is kinda the point of a blog? Anyway, if youre seeing this but not my last post on Monday, I think I cracked on Sunday Night.

That first post was comprised of how I was feeling Sunday Night- Monday Morning (10/11 Dec) and, well, I'm not going to repeat it. Monday was... weird. I didn't feel great, although thats not significantly out of the ordinary, but I was facing a difficult question I would rather not have to answer, especially when the obvious conclusion was such a difficult one to follow through and act on. It was a question Id rather die than face.

Monday evening was when I decided to start truly planning for the possibility. I may not know If Im right yet, and depending on how hard it may be, I was wondering if it was even worth it. Then I had a look at some trans timelines, and asked people about HRT options, and that was what changed my fuckin life. It was then that I saw how real this was and just how possible this was. The realisation that this was on the cards for me (after a 2 year wait) made me feel really fucking good. Like best Ive felt in a long time. Ive been running on fumes, a list of people to outlive, and "My cats would miss me" but this provided a positive reason to keep going, something to look forward to. For the first time in ages, I wanted to Carry On, not just felt like I had to. And this feeling/ realisation also helped in validating my feelings, that Im not just making it up.

And then came tuesday. The best day Ive had in a long time. I've heard people say "Transitioning may not solve all your problems, but it can make them feel worth solving" but I realised I had that in reverse. My problems are affecting my academic success, so to get out this house and get to Uni, I need to start fixing/ overcoming those problems. My problems feel worth solving so that I can get to transition. I got more done that day and focused easier than I have in a long time.

Later into Tuesday, I considered what my future could look like now. How might it affect other parts about me? I considered my Aroace identity, might it affect that? And I quickly realised I might not be Aro. Why could I see myself happily in a relationship in the future, as a girl, but not as a guy? Hell, I took the idea out of relationships, and realised I couldn't see a happy future at all as a guy. Ive known this for a while, and kinda brushed it off as "Modern society sucks ass" and "Who knows what the future holds" and shit like that, but if that was the case, I wouldnt see a happy future as a girl, which I do. This was another big help in feeling that Im not mistaken about my feelings, and also helps to explain why Ive always felt a little conflicted on my Aromanticism, because it wasn't. As for now, until I can transition, the label still fits. I still think Ill be Ace either way, but I cant know that until the time comes. It doesnt really matter, those labels can be pretty fluid, I shouldnt stress over it. The key takeaway here was that it seemed that Dysphoria was stopping me from wanting a relationship. Perhaps I was wrong about not feeling dysphoria, I think i might just have not been noticing it or understanding it.

I'm caught up to today, which hasn't really seen major developments. I acknowledged the fact that Ive been kinda subconsciously viewing myself as more feminine for years now, but I dont feel like that thought significantly leads anywhere beyond reinforcing how I feel. Most of my thought on this went towards music and lyrics, as now I have a whole new dimension of meanings to find in songs, completely changing how I see alot of them. For example, one song, that I havent been able to find any meaning to until now, has these lines across 2 different verses:

"I need time to break all the mirrors,

But my mind is in pieces and not ready to make it clearer,"

and

"Time to make it all clearer,

And if time never ceases I'll be ready to break the mirror"

After a quick google, the idea of "Breaking a mirror" means bad luck for years, before being okay, which can be interpreted to have fairly heavy parallels to a transition. The first version talks about needing to go through this period, but not being able to or not being ready. As much as I say I cant transition bc of living eith my controlling and transphobic parents, I also know I would not be ready to do it if that wasnt the case. But, as in the second version of these two lines, once I can make it all clearer, If I can just hold out until the end of the two years, if time keeps passing, I can break the mirror.

There are other parts of this song I like and find (questionable) trans meanings in, but these parts stand out. Song is "The Gift" by Kevin Sherwood and Elena Siegman for anyone wondering, I'd best describe it as Melodic heavy metal, heavy instrumentals courtesy of Kevin and beautiful vocal melody courtesy of Elena.

So that was pretty much my day today, finding little bits of meaning in various songs I already listen to. Although its only 2:30PM, there may be more to come later. Regardless, now that ive caught up, Im just going to be keeping every post as its own individual thought or topic. If you did actually read through this, thanks I guess? I dont know why I feel more comfortable writing this here than a private note. Ill only tag this with 196 because eh, why tf not.

[implausiblyjosh]

Continuing to think about the HBomb video, and a big thing I appreciate about this video is that the 4 hour runtime works. Spoilers for the video ahead, so please watch the video!

The first half of the video is describing how plagiarism crops up on YouTube, with various examples and pretty solid dives into those various examples. Iilluminaughtii, AVGN, Internet Historian, content farms of various types: these examples and dives into them all build up and explain how plagiarism shows up on the platform and how all these different people play it off when the house of cards come tumbling down and someone finally says something. It shows that these aren't just one-off things in most cases, these are people trying to build a platform off of the work of others, and how plagiarism can impact those around them. It shows that these are all deliberate choices being made.

Then the second half of the video reveals why all this context and all these examples were necessary: this video is a deep dive on James Somerton and his extensive plagiarism. The build up from before gets put into this one person, into this one egregious example, and you see how much worse things can get. Because not only does Somerton do everything explained before, in almost the exact same ways as all these others, but he is doing it so pointedly. Somerton positions himself as the One True Queer Voice on YouTube, while stealing from queer voices from across the internet. Not only that, the only time he seems to write his own words, he's doing so to twist other peoples words to fit into his misogynistic world view. He erases the identities of those he steals from to present himself as The Authority on the subject. He's stealing from books to raise $100l+ for a Queer Film Production Company that will never make a movie. He's stealing from authors who were paying members of his Patreon. It's not just the plagiarism, even though the plagiarism itself is bad. It's the ends that he's trying to accomplish with this, it's the goals he's trying to accomplish while doing this.

That second part isn't as good without the first. It's a bit of a joke, the "I've given my examples and now it's the conclusion, don't look at the runtime" bit... but it truly works! From a purely informative viewpoint, I didn't know about the AVGN stuff or the Internet Historian stuff, and if that got left out I would just know less. And the second part isn't as impactful if you don't see the baselines, the "guy got hired at IGN" or "trend chaser chases another trend" examples. You see how much worse these things can get when someone is so expressly awful in what they're trying to accomplish.

There are other videos like this where the length isn't justified. Awhile ago I watched a 6 hour video of why Kingdom Hearts 3 was a "waste of effort", and the length felt so padded because it was just a beat-for-beat rundown of mechanics and story points as they were introduced in the game while making little asides about why they sucked or whatever. The length was not useful, it just made the video seem like a list of petty grievances. Like, early on they make a point to talk about almost every trailer for Kingdom Hearts 3 and why that marketing was bad. Talking about the marketing for a game, as part of your your video about your issues with the game itself, feels misguided at best.

As much as I like Quinton Reviews videos, and these videos in particular, those iCarly videos are a slog. I think they're purposefully a slog to some extent, both from a monetary perspective (he's explained these longer videos do better for him) and from a message perspective (they're meant to be a slog cause it's about the idea and experience of watching every single episode of a long-running thing), but I think recapping every single episode in a largely episodic TV show and then going for hours-long tangents is just too much. It's already a slog as an episode-by-episode recap, going off repeatedly about what shows are in each other's universes is barely relevant and (as of Dec 3, 2023) has had no payoff. Even if this isn't what you're doing, it feels like you're extending a runtime.

And that doesn't doesn't even touch shit like that 12 hour "response" to Jenny Nicholson's Joker video. That is basically a group of friends in a discord call watching a 30 minute video, pausing to rip it to shreds for about 5-ish hours in a "Reacts To" video style... then there's another 6-ish hours of some other unrelated bullshit. Watching that unfold on twitter, and watching people like Jay Exci get so incredibly defensive at the concept of a clearly needlessly long video, was wild because it barely talked about how the type of criticism being levied is not useful, especially at that runtime. If your goal in watching a video is to rip it to shreds in a CinemaSins "DING!" kinda way, where you're looking at every little sentence or bit divorced from the full context of the video, who does that help? What useful criticism is being offered when the criticism doesn't take the full context of what's criticizing into account? How is it useful to see that happen for 5-ish hours? Maybe there's entertainment value there, I know I've listened to several hour long podcasts before, but I cannot imagine that being a useful or helpful vehicle for criticism.

This isn't to say that long videos are always bad and this is the first good long video. I feel like another person who really "gets it" with long videos is Cathode Ray Dude. It helps that these are topics I don't know about before going into them, and that retro computing/technology is a huge interest of mine, but it also feels like every minute of a Cathode Ray Dude video helps build the narrative. We get to see all the angles and bits about a weird laptop, and then we get to see it's place in history, and we might even get a demonstration of how this would all work in the real world. I think a lot about that 7 Users on 1 PC! video when you see 6 monitors hooked up to one PC at the 50 minute mark and you're just like "i cannot believe they did this". It's a spectacle that is being built to in all the other 50 mins of the video. That doesn't work if we don't see all these other angles to these devices!

Plagiarism and You(Tube) and earns it's runtime. There may be an argument for trimming things here or there, but for me I genuinely think the runtime is worth it. This is, in my estimation, one of the best examples of the length of a video being used to it's fullest.

The Hbomb video is incredible. I think trying to frame it as a “drama video”, even in his own words, is really not fair to what’s being exposed. The end, to spoil a bit of the twist, is about how people get erased when plagiarism happens. These people build platforms off of the backs of others works, and that other work doesn’t get its due. And in the case of The True Subject Of The Video, they’re stealing works from queer people while also building themselves up as the Only Real Queer Critic, while also plagiarizing the idea of “what happened when queer people are erased”, while also erasing the identities of queer women in the few times he decides to write for himself. It’s hit after hit of “oh, this shit can get real bad”. It’s researched, it's well thought out, and it’s clearly an important issue.

[something-about-sunflowers]

Made a post a bit back asking people’s opinions on what tarot card fit Wee John the best, got a few good suggestions but wound up going with something else (even over my initial frustrated joke of making up a new card for fire or smth). Finally got around to doing some concept sketches for the SuperCon Trio (yaaaaay breaking a really long art-block!!), I’d say ‘excuse the shit quality’ but I kinda did that on purpose lmao. Here’s The Magician, The High Priestess, and Justice (wip)!