#i've been wanting to record something recently but i've been working on stuff in pieces bc my arms hurt so it's not super convenient

[moomoofoo]

hello! have you posted any speedpaints or process videos for your art? i love your style and the way you paint forms and shadows, it's really inspiring!

thank you! i don't have any speedpaints but i do have some streams from last year

puella care playlist (full process)

kamihama magia union (sketching)

heruka & dolma (rendering)

amaryllis (rendering)

[drdemonprince]

Hey was gonna ask if u have any readings on managing / moving thru conflict in better ways after reading ur critique of certain Accountability dynamics? Seen this play out twice in the local organizing scene recently, and the most recent one I am like directly implicated in enacting to an extent so reading ur thoughts kinda made me sit back and groan :/ also kinda echoes this shitty moment in childhood where my mom would demand a 4-part to-the-letter apology for shit I didn’t do or didn’t do intentionally and make me rehearse and re-apologize until I got the format right aha. Striking me that I run the risk here of being complicit in just that dynamic thru the bad fawning habit that got beat into me thru childhood ahaa .. also feel like in the past you’ve talked abt conflict-avoidance or fawning and would be interested if u had any of those pieces off the top of ur head but this all involves having to dig up links or titles so take ur time if u are at all interested in responding lol. Devil is knocking on my door telling me I need to look at these habits of mine and start practicing something new -_-

It sounds like you are going through a real moment of reckoning with your own trauma and how childhood dynamics are re-emerging in your current community, which is such important work. I just want to give you some cheers for having it in you to listen to those productive feelings of discomfort and being willing to examine this stuff. It's hard, especially when you've been conditioned to fear moral failure.

I'm still unpacking a lot of this stuff myself, but I think my article on disobedience is relevant, as is my one on PDA

and some of this is because i've been inhaling her archives lately, but I would once again recommend Captain Awkward. Also Albert Bernstein's How to Deal with Emotionally Explosive People. (a book that is flawed, but i think there is a lot of growth away from the puritanical mindset to be found in discerning what is useful from a book you disagree with or has flaws). Lindsay Gibson is a perennial rec from me. id love to hear others' recommendations tho because im a bit of a broken record on these and its an area i still need to grow in a LOTtttt a lot a lot. also half the critiques of this kind of culture are shitty "anti cancel culture" charlatans that i cant recommend

[sabrondabrainrot]

It's tinfoil hat times I have more observations for eagle eyes listeners (yes a Nightvale ref)

This will contain spoilers for recent TSAMS and LAES!

I gotta go to bed so I won't be able to contain everything but just some stuff I noticed recently and something I've been thinking about.

I won't be as organized as usual, warning spoilers below!

Picking apart what Dark Sun said and did...he used the word expunge. I don't know if this is problem of VA's picking a word that sounds cool...or they picked it know what it means? Expunge is a word that means 'to remove', 'delete', 'strike from the record'. So...why would he collect data on Sun's choice to kill Nexus and expunge that across the multiverse? Why would deleting that make Suns turn on Moons? I'm too tired to think about it past this but...it's interesting. What if D!Sun did delete something?

The biggest thing between Sun and choosing to kill...its his love and trust...but I wonder how Sun's decision to choose the greater good and his family would delete something? That sparkle nighttime Sun was beating his Moon while crying that he hated him...but did he actually? How can we know? I can't wait to find out more about the entire Sun on Moon violence. D!Sun said it was his hate for Nexus but that's not the case...because Sun himself stated he still can't get himself to hate Nexus. We also know, the only reason Sun's magic worked was because of what Ruin did...so I think my theory about the NSP and SP interacting to possibly make Nexus into a new being still stands. D!Sun knew Ruin planted that device when he made Sun choose.

I feel like history just keeps repeating itself where Sun's choices will never be choices and his decision will always be made for him. Moving into more stuff! The recent episodes omigod!!! Moon! He finally stepped up! I still have many things to point out though. I was talking in @goodolddumbbanana dms because like...we're both still disappointed by the episodes...(I won't type the entire dms cause like I want banana to do their piece too without me speaking over them)

When Moon talked to Sun at the pier, he still managed to make it about himself. Did anyone else notice that? He turned it into his normal "I hate myself" routine. He proceeded to let Sun know he's the best brother ever...but Sun just...I don't think he believes it. Even if Lunar and Earth also both tell him that. Even Solar. He just won't believe it.

Looking at how Sun's entire...existence has gone, it's pretty understandable why he'd think and feel this way.

He hasn't been shown by his family (except Earth) he's the best so why would he believe it? Especially coming from Moon who's done nothing but lie to him and break promises. Moon stepped up but...was acting annoyed to take care of Sun. He just was acting like he was ready to get stuff over with. Then...When Sun finally asked the million dollar question. "Did you hate me? Do you hate me?" He's always been asking that and never got a straight answer. Moon has always acted like he really did hate him in the past. Worst of all? Moon told Sun he did.

He told his emotionally beaten brother who's soul is shattered, that 'Yes Sun, I did hate you'...Moon...being honest in this particular situation...I don't think it's the best idea.

Moon, to an emotionally unstable - highly fragile - Sun, basically confirmed Sun's darkest fear. The soul deep ache Sun feels. It's not...gratifying...Sun may now have closure that 'wow he treated me like that because he did hate me' but the big issues with this? Moon has not really changed how he treats Sun. He stopped physically hurting him but he still hurts him. In small ways. We saw that first hand in the last few eps. He left to avoid Sun entirely. He broke promise after promise. He'd rather throw himself a pity party then buck up and just be there for Sun.

Sun always leads with the best intentions. He tells Moon he loves him. He encourages him. He builds him up. (I think i've said this before lol)

Then we get the MVP Earth ep. That episode was honest to God beautiful. Earth is an amazing sister and Kat knocked it out of the ball park with her vocal performance today. She put in so much emotion. I like how Earth's breaking point wasn't her taking care of Dazzle or Sun. Her breaking point was how her family was treating her and Sun like shit. They both left them to their own devices. It was so sad. I was wondering when they kept showing Solar who was taking care of Sun and honestly it makes so much sense it was Earth.

Then in the same episode she said Lunar is acting strange. I'm going to be honest, I know exactly why Lunar is acting mad at Earth.

I don't get a ton of opportunity to talk about Lunar. In the recent episodes his sorest spot was prodded by Taurus. Taurus is basically telling him to get over himself.

Which...I don't agree with how Gemini and Taurus are going about it. Letting go of your hate and hurt is so important but them just telling Lunar to do it isn't going to work. He needs to be taught how to.

So why is Lunar mad at Earth? Never forget, Lunar hasn't developed much he's still a very selfish immature person. He's mad at Earth he's stagnating. He's blaming her for his stunted emotional growth. He chose to numb himself to deal with his emotions and if he admits that was wrong then it'd be a long time of wasted efforts. He would have so many regrets if he admits he's been doing everything wrong.

After all, If Lunar wasn't so apathetic about N!Moon would he have made a difference in him becoming Nexus? (No, but Lunar could be thinking about that)

Lunar, I believe, is blaming Earth for not 'fixing' him. He doesn't understand he needs to want to change himself for it to happen. (it's the same thing for Moon, he knows he's flawed but has given up on improving) I think Lunar just kind of assumed Earth was supposed to automatically make him better with him not doing any work himself.

Then the crux of why he's mad at Earth.

It's simple.

She's friends with Eclipse.

That's really what it is.

Think about it, he hates Eclipse. Eclipse is now in the front of his mind to the point he's acting odd and watching Nutella ads for hours. He's trying to mute his rage. What Taurus and Gemini said would anger anyone.

Telling a victim to not only get over their abuse but also get along with their abuser? It's plain wrong. Lunar has the right to hate Eclipse, the only problem is that it is harming him. Hatred will always be someone's undoing. It is a negative, putrid thing that only destroys.

He's been shoving his emotions down for so long they're bound to explode. I know Lunar loves Sun and wants to be there for him but he's been apathetic for so long now he can't. So he's lashing out and projecting his own self anger onto Earth. She's right there after all.

Solar is basically acting like a keeper to everyone and despite doing better for Sun, Solar is still emotionally distant. Moon physically isn't there. Lunar won't lash out at Monty. He won't take his frustration out on kids like Dazzle and Jack.

Earth is also just...too nice. So yeah, I absolutely understand why Lunar is angry at Earth. He's being totally unfair and immature about it too, because it's not like there's other problems, ie Sun is literally broken and can't leave bed.

but I digress, I like that Moon is stepping up. I just hope he doesn't keep dropping the ball. I think Sun right now truly doesn't think Moon cares...Moon is going to have to do a lot to show him otherwise. I'm glad Lunar finally checked on Sun and I hope he does it more often, because Sun loves Lunar too. He loves the entire family. Earth was right to cry about how they were failing Sun.

I'm really proud of Earth and Solar for stepping up to help Sun.

[nevermatchandscpsradadventures]

EB x DC: Of Gadgets and Psychics

Disclaimer: I know next to nothing on Batman/Batfam stuff aside from what Nevermatch has infodumped/shown/read to me, and even then, she's only watched a few cartoons and read fanfics. The point is, the DC characters are liable to be OOC; you have been warned, I am doing my best. This fic is heavily inspired by various DP x DC fics Nevermatch has infodumped/shown/read to me, more specifically the Batpham ones. This may be obvious. I believe that is all, so I hope you enjoy this fic!

----------------------------------------------------

Chapter I: Bruce

It's a quiet evening in Gotham, although when compared to other cities, it's not quiet at all. It's also rather uneventful, almost enough to make Bruce feel antsy. Not that he wants Gotham to be overrun, but the silence and inactivity makes Bruce wonder what sort of things are being schemed behind the scenes.

He does his best to remind himself that Robin and Spoiler are on patrol, as are Orphan and Red Robin, so if something does happen, they'll know. Bruce tries to occupy himself with working on a case, even if it's a rather slow-going one. He moves to sip from his mug, only to find it empty, which is annoying.

Fortunately, Alfred enters the Batcave, carrying a tray holding a pot of coffee and a bubble envelope. Bruce takes the pot and refills his mug before raising his eyebrow at the envelope.

"It was delivered to you, Master Bruce." Alfred states simply, negating the need for Bruce to ask his question, "I believe you will find it important to note that its sender is someone you - presumably- do not know personally: one Ness Allen from Onett, Oregon."

"The other side of the country, huh?" Bruce hums as he picks up the envelope. He taps his comm. "Oracle, what do you know about Onett, Oregon?"

"It's a rural town; no paved roads leading to or from any other towns, but it's very close to Twoson, California." Barbara reports after some typing, "Aside from a police force seemingly obsessed with blocking roads, previously having a gang known as the Sharks, and having a meteorite land there about a year ago, it's not known for much."

"Interesting..." Bruce murmurs. He opens the envelope, finding the first thing inside to be a hand-written letter. It is clear that whoever wrote the letter tried to write neatly, despite a normally messy handwriting style. He reads through the letter, which says,

Dear Mr. Wayne, My name is Ness. I imagine you probably get letters like this a lot, but what I'm telling you here is true. I took a DNA test and found out that you are my biological father. In case you don't believe me, I've sent a few things with this letter; one is a copy of the test results, one is a sample of my hair, and one is a (cleaned-out) sauce container with my spit in it, though you might not want to use that one, in case it says I'm part ketchup if you do your own tests. Maybe we can keep in touch? You know, since you're apparently my bio dad and all. Assuming you want anything to do with me, that is. Hope to hear from you soon, Ness

Bruce raises his eyebrows at the letter. He then reaches into the envelope, pulling out a piece of paper with, sure enough, the test results, showing Bruce as the father. In a small baggie is a lock of black hair, and in another small baggie is an old ketchup container, presumably filled with saliva. He taps his comm again.

"Oracle, what do you know about Ness Allen?" he asks.

"Looks like he's an ordinary kid, B." Barbara replies, "Thirteen years old and in eighth grade, though he'll be fourteen in a month or so. Lives with adoptive parents Walter and Rachel Allen and adoptive sister Tracy Allen. Plays on the baseball team, and aside from a somewhat recent two-week absence, has a decent attendance record."

"Absence?" Bruce asks, "Does it say for what?"

There's some typing to be heard before Barbara responds. "Apparently, his mother had claimed that Ness had caught a really bad bug whenever his teachers came asking about him. Oddly, there are reports of him being in other places during this time. Twoson, California; Threed, California; Fourside, Nevada... Even places like Summers and Scaraba. This also says that his only "criminal record" is "deliberately trespassing", though the Onett Police Force pardoned it shortly afterward."

"Odd, indeed..." Bruce hums. He takes a sip of his coffee. "Keep me updated. Find out more on what happened during those two weeks."

He looks over at the hair and saliva and once again taps his comm. "Robin, Red Robin, I need you both back at the Cave. There's something important we need to discuss."

"Copy that, B." Tim replies, "We're on our way."

It's not long until Tim and Damian have arrived, both reporting nothing out of the ordinary aside from the occasional mugging here and there.

Bruce hands the samples to Tim. "I need you to run a DNA test on these. See if they match anything in our systems." He pauses. "Try the hair first."

"Then what did you need me here for, Father?" Damian asks, crossing his arms as Tim takes the samples to the Bat Computer.

"To talk with you and ask a few questions," Bruce says. He picks up the letter and glances at it before looking back at Damian. "Do you have any siblings that you know of? Blood-related, I mean." Damian nods, albeit somewhat reluctantly.

"I had a brother," he says. "He was the younger twin, and Grandfather deemed him the weaker of us, so he had him killed." He shifts a bit uncomfortably. "Grandfather frequently held that information over my head. I almost want to say he rather enjoyed it. Mother told me that she, regretfully, was the one tasked with killing him; she hadn't even gotten the chance to name him before then." He pauses, a questioning look on his face. "May I ask why, Father?"

Bruce hands Damian the letter. "According to Ness Allen here, I'm his father; said nothing about the mother, though. There's not even any mention of her on the DNA test results he sent as well. I wanted to ask, in case Ness turns out to be Talia's son, as well."

Damian reads through the letter and frowns. "Tt. If that is true, then it is not beneath Mother to have gone behind Grandfather's back and done something like this; claim she killed him successfully, when in reality she merely left him someplace else." He shakes his head. "Assuming, that is, he really is my brother. Assuming Mother withheld the fact that he lived in order to protect him, or even herself and me."

"Hey, Bruce?" Tim calls, bringing Bruce and Damian to look his way, "The results came back, and... Well, you and Damian are gonna wanna see this."

Bruce and Damian head over to the Bat Computer, where Tim is sitting. On the screens, the test results state that, sure enough, Bruce truly is Ness's father. Along with this, though, they also show who the mother is - Talia Al Ghul. And right next to Ness's name is Damian's.

"Looks like you're an older brother for once, Dami," Tim says with a bit of a wry smile.

"So he is alive..." Damian mutters, eyes somehow both wide in surprise and almost narrowed in understanding.

"Perhaps a response should be considered, Master Bruce." Alfred suggests, "He did suggest that the two of you keep in touch, after all."

Bruce nods thoughtfully. "Perhaps I will, Alfred."

[ashleigh148]

TW: for passing remarks of - as Otto Mahler called it - "handing back my ticket".

Alrighty, my turn.

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a musician. I know I'm not a very good one, but music has always been a part of me, no matter what.

Even when it's also been my greatest frustration.

I took classical piano lessons starting around 6 years old - something that was own a decision of my own, that my folks were willing to pay for. I sometimes wonder where that little girl's enthusiasm went as I got older.

However, by the time I was 15, I was harbouring some negativity regarding my own musical abilities. I felt that I was not talented in the slightest when comparing myself to other students. I didn't have the support I needed/wanted in order to be a musician. Learning the piano was fine, "but you can't make it a career", I was told. I had the "passion but not the discipline", I was told. "You're not working hard enough/being lazy", I was told. And here I thought, that I was trying my best.

Somewhere along the way, those outside words turned into a nasty voice in my head that almost seemed to enjoy torturing me.

When I was about 19/20, I flunked my Grade 8 twice. Boy, was it like a shot to the heart. I had still tried my best, practiced even while I cried. "Look it's fine, you can't make a living as a musician anyways, so it doesn't matter if you never finish it", I was told. That was when it started to get difficult to listen to classical music. I felt like such a disappointment for not being able to pass the damn exam. I ended up associating classical pieces to my piano-studying years, making it sting to listen to them. I focused a lot more on the other genres I had loved: hard rock and heavy metal.

I still loved music, but it was becoming a love-hate relationship to me. I still tried to perform live, I still tried to make music. However, it felt like every time I started to work on a performance or original song, that voice in my head would start up again, yelling at me that it was useless what I was trying to accomplish. It felt like everytime I tried to beat that voice, it would come back bigger and badder. That voice even started to attack my love for rock/metal music. There are other rock singers out there who spent more effort on their craft, "it's stupid to think you can reach even the foot of their level", said the voice.

I was in university when I first came across the boys' content; I remember there was a recorder involved (lol). It was the first time in a long time that I could listen to classical music and not feel like crap. They re-introduced Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto to me (I had first heard it at 16). Through their videos, I didn't feel like a disappointment. They were like two big brothers who said, "you're no disappointment, here's your classical music back". Their content made me realize that there were so many other musicians out there who felt what I felt; I was not alone.

I had a utterly horrible end of 2022; so much stuff rained down upon me. I had had dark thoughts creep into my head before, but this time, the darkness felt too heavy. I'd go to asleep, half-hoping I wouldn't wake up just so the pain would stop. Then, their 4 mil subscribers concert happened. Hearing that opening to Mendy's VC again - it threw a life raft to me. That piece made me stay and reminded me that life was still magical. Sure, those dark thoughts would pop up every now and then, but I tried my best to remember that I could always turn to the light of music.

I recently turned 28 (was surprised that I managed to avoid the 27 Club). 2024 was not a good year again. I think my last straw was when I had a shitty date with a musician who called me a disappointment due to my lack of a music education. I remember when I got home and opened up YouTube, one of their videos was at the front page, and so I ended up in a bingefest. I laughed, felt a little healed, and then I got to thinking: "Wait, what's stopping me from attempting Grade 8 again? From recording an album that I've dreamt about for years? It shouldn't even matter if I'm reaching my 30s, right?".

I ordered the necessary books, and the next thing I knew, I was being offered a new substitute teaching job - teaching music in 2025! Do I need more signs from the universe that music was truly a part of me??

Sure, just after that, The Great TwoSet Video Purge happened (lol), but my determination hasn't wavered. They still gave me the confidence I needed. Perhaps, I needed the wait this long before doing this because now was the right time.

The boys reminded me that music wasn't something you ran from, it was something you run to when things were getting black. I've learned that it's totally okay to be ordinary. As long as you had your musical passion, you should just fugue-ing go for it, and share what you got with the world.

So now, I'll work my fluffy brown ass off. I'll go practice!

Thanks a lot, lads. Whatever you move onto, you will be magical.

[moon-language-0]

10 Questions for Writers

wasn't gonna do this bc i thought nobody probably really cares about this stuff but since i got double tagged by @meidui and @sunnysideprincess here goes nothing:

1. how many works do you have on AO3?

32 and climbing!

2. what’s your total AO3 word count?

ugh i had to go into my stats to find this number (hate looking at stats) but to my surprise that number is a whopping 816,828! (if added to my ff.net word count that figure grows to 1,062,375 🤯)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

stony exclusively, though i opened up to the idea of writing for steve and/or tony paired with any mcu villain for marvel trumps hate, and now i'm writing a steve/loki (with steve/tony as endgame) fic that's more fun than i would've anticipated! (x) still wouldn't call myself a "multishipper," though -- more of a serial shipping monogamist ;)

4. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do! sometimes i'm a bit slow to respond for various reasons (e.g. when people angels comment on my WIPs i like to reply when/right before a new chapter drops), and on a few occasions i've belatedly encountered comments that i forgot to reply to (😱) that i'll immediately rectify, but i very much want to encourage people to keep leaving them. a single comment—even short/sweet ones!—can be like rocket fuel to my creative drive -- and as someone who finds myself running on empty and trying to get by solely on fumes from time to time, getting that boost in my inbox is truly priceless.

5. have you ever had a fic stolen?

not in whole but in part :(

6. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i don't even know how that would work!

7. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

currently steve/tony. once upon a time it was spock/kirk, and the flame burned so brightly that it troubles me to wonder how it ever managed to go out. i collected vintage zines. i made insanely thoughtful fanmixes (one of which i recorded onto cassette tapes one-at-a-time by hand through a painstaking process and distributed to a few like-minded folks, with hand-drawn cover art and liner notes!). i read AMAZING fic that changed my brain and yet i never wrote a single thing! i made a secret spacehusbands clubhouse underneath a pool table during one long and otherwise unhappy summer. i even made spirk-themed patches and pins that sold quite well on etsy, and turned one of my large back pieces into the central design of a fully decked-out jacket (which was made specifically to wear while loitering around disneyland while baked). here's some photographic evidence of all of the above:

8. what are your writing strengths?

smut-crafting is the obvious answer, but i flatter myself to think that i also manage to tap into a particular kind of haunted beauty that hovers about, casting its ethereal moon-shadow over all the most poignant relationships; something i've been obsessed with in life, that i'm compelled to pursue further in writing.

9. what are your writing weaknesses?

keeping it short. my punctuation can get pretty erratic sometimes. also, this might be a cop-out of an answer since it can be interpreted as a 'strength' but it really can throw me for a loop: i tend to let the characters tell the story 'they' want to tell rather than keeping a tight hold on the reins and sticking to my own agenda -- this can lead me off my intended course, for better or worse! as a storyteller i'm a bit of a pushover—always open to sudden inspiration wherever it might issue from—and steve and tony are such *strong* personalities that this openness can be a problem when i 'channel' them.

10. first fandom you wrote for?

harry potter. i was a bit of a snapewife for awhile there (don't judge). ff.net has been having some server issues so i recently logged back on to download my 245k unfinished epic from 2012, and found over a thousand people had left comments! some people were calling it a "masterpiece" and/or "the best fic [they] ever read [for that pairing]" which made me doubtful, so i skimmed over some of the story expecting it to be cringey but uhhh... it actually holds up? i mean, 2011/12 was quite a time for me: i was simultaneously finishing my thesis on "fandom, fanaticism, and religious fervor" and can recall having full-on religious experiences of my own while writing that [truly 'inspired'] fic, so i guess i was onto something after all!

some of these folks have already been tagged but i'm whispering a soft 'hello' into the ears of @carsonian, @soliloquent-stark, @pia-bartolini, @avengersnewb, @tinystark616 & all writers who aren't as averse to mirror-gazing as i can be

[birdnoise]

Excuse me while I musicpost for a bit. I will preface this rant with a couple notes of interest.

1) I fucking LOVE metal. More than that, I love extreme music. Inaccessible music. Stuff that's hard to listen to, not because it's bad, but because it's abrasive on a sonic level.

2) This is just me yelling into the void, and most of this rant (review?? Idk) is pulled from a discussion I had with a friend. As such these are more or less just unfiltered thoughts that I texted him at 1am. They have been edited for grammar and readability.

3) I'm an opinionated asshole, and I care deeply about art. Specifically music. Very sorry in advance.

All that said, here is my first public music rant, about the recently released album titled "Absolute Elsewhere" by Blood Incantation. I have not been a fan of Blood Incantation, I did not like HHOTHR and I did not like Starspawn. I haven't bothered to listen to their other projects. Now, they just released a new album this year, and it's supposed to be really cool, they're shaking it up a bit. It comes highly reccomended from all my friends who know I don't like Blood Incant, and for good reason.

It's a collaboration with the electronic masterminds behind Tangerine Dream, who are a really cool proggy psyche kinda band from the 70's. Which is kind of a wild collaboration? Like what do you mean modern mid ass (opinion) tech death band collaborating with one of the progenitors of german new age/kosmiche?

That sounds like a cool idea, and it is. I'll bite.

But listening to the actual album just makes me feel like a huge fucking asshole, because the death metal part of this death metal album is just fucking boring. Like. How can it be boring?? You get the collab opportunity of your LIVES and you just write boring ass riffs?? AND THE WORST PART IS THAT THE SYNTH PASSAGES ARE GENUINELY INCREDIBLE.

When they pull it together and the synths layer over the clean guitars and they drop some sick ass death metal drumming underneath it? Marvelous. Beautiful. Ingenious. I feel like I'm levitating.

And then the riffs start. Bam. One way ticket to fucking snoozetown. It's just very boring. Nothing particularly notable, they're performed well and the production is great, but there's just nothing there on a musical level that is genuinely interesting. They're just the same old regurgitated death metal riffs that we've all been playing for the past 30 years. There's a reason I don't listen to Blood Incant, and it's because I expect more from the musicians I love. I try to live up to that expectation in my own works, and I don't listen to musicians who don't meet that (arbitrary) bar. So when a band tries really hard to create something cool - as Blood Incantation has on this album - but fails to meet the mark for a very critical part of their album, it is upsetting to me.

Again, the death metal on this death metal album is boring. Couldn't they come up with better riffs? I refuse to believe this is all they've got, they're good musicians. More than that, they're good artists, and if this album had held up to its own standard, it would actually be incredible. Maybe album of the year for me.

The album would genuinely be a masterpiece if they got rid of like a solid 75% of the death metal from their death metal album. Which makes me sad. I love death metal, but they dropped the ball here. How did they let this happen? The record SHINES during clean sections. It's like it wants to be two separate projects. One transcendental electronic ambient piece, the other being possibly the most boring technical death metal I've heard in years.

But in spite of all this, I genuinely reccomend sitting down and giving it a listen, because oh man do the clean passages just fucking SING man. Notable exceptions to the mid riffs are at the end of the second song and around 4 minutes in the last song, those are cool. I enjoy those, but none of the riffs are cooler than anything on any Cannibal Corpse (closest comparison I could come up with at 1am) album. Who do in fact have cool riffs, it's just that after 30 years, their bit is growing stale.

So yeah I highly recommend listening to Absolute Elsewhere by Blood Incantation exactly ONE (1) time. Very sorry if I trashed on your album of the year but I just really didn't enjoy the death metal bits of this death metal album, and I felt like sharing my thoughts. For what it's worth, I really wanted to love this album. I've already said that the clean sections are amazing but it's worth saying again, because they really are very good.

[itsclydebitches]

Haha, I explicitly don't tag my rwby critique posts as RWDE because I know people will just block or insult me without even reading what I wrote

Honestly? Valid choice. I've gone on record about my own choice to tag for both "RWBY" and "RWDE," but to be frank I think "RWDE" is a borderline useless tag. RWDE folks have never agreed on what should go in there. Non-RWDE folks have definitely never agreed on what should go in there. It was created as an absurd way to divide the fandom between (incredibly subjective) Good Content and Bad Content, with the result that this actively undermines the purpose of posting on tumblr: for new people to see your stuff. Most of us recently saw that post with someone understandably asking what in the world RWDE was... as well as some of the top answers that provided an incredibly biased, borderline lying definition. Unlike something like "RWBY Critical" that both tells newcomers what it is and does so in a neutral way (these are posts that are critical of RWBY and the tag itself gives no indication as to whether that's a good or bad thing), "RWDE" is nonsensical to anyone not already in the know and is a RWBY-fied version of a very negative word: "rude." Despite most of us embracing that, it's still a tag designed to turn newcomers off.

So how is anyone supposed to find like-minded community members when our main tag doesn't follow any other tagging conventions, is framed as a negative from the get-go, and polite questions are immediately met with the more intense fans painting the worst picture possible? That was always the point. RWDE isn't "We just want you to have your own space where we don't have to engage" it's "We want to make this as difficult as possible so eventually you'll just leave." So... yeah. I use it because I know it will hit an already established core group actively looking for the kind of content I write, but I 100% understand you and others going, "Why would I use that? The fandom has been trained to block on sight. That's not going to help other people see my work on the Let Other People See My Work site."

I think I've said this before, but I want to do a version of those wine social experiments. You know the ones where they take super duper cheap wine, stick a fancy label on it, tell people it's the Most Expensive Vintage Ever, and watch them wax poetic on how absolutely stunning the taste is? Give RWBY fans a post without tags/blog name (or, to follow the pattern, with misleading tags/blog names), watch as many people agree with the points made -- or at least consider them seriously -- and then go, "Aha! This was a RWDE post all along!" Like any fandom under the sun you'll never have people agreeing on criticism and there will always be individuals who can't stand a word said against the show... but I guarantee if you removed the bias associated with RWDE you'd get a lot more fans who are RWDE.

Also, side-note, gotta love that I make a post talking about how fans are too inclined to attack critics than engage with what they're saying or simply ignore their stuff... and what's at the top of my inbox but someone calling me a piece of shit and accusing me of stuff I've never ever done (harassing the creators, misusing Monty's name -- the usual accusations that, as I said, fans pick up and repeat ad nauseam without thinking through whether they're accurate).

Me: Hey, don't send people insults, baseless accusations, and death threats because you disagree over the quality of a show

Anons: [Immediately send insults, baseless accusations, and death threats for the sin of telling them not to do that]

[bloody-fate]

tagged by @thechurchofsplatterdaysaints and tagging @phantom-kitten, @berserker-gene, @hellonursevenus, @soft-lunar-rose, @booger-sinclaire, and anyone else who would like to play!

Do you make your bed?

No, life's too short to worry about that or anyone who judges you for not!

Fave number?

probably 77 or 25, this last road trip for work made me realize I'm either an amateuer numerologist or maybe mildly OCD because I'd rather keep the stereo, cruise control, and AC at a number that "feels right" than something more practical

What’s your job?

Coast-to-Coast Construction Goon! In a lot of ways, it's my favorite job I've had so far, but being on the road for weeks can be excruciating. Every job is something new in a new place, so it's hard to get bored, but there's way worse things than being bored such as missing your cat.

Go back to school?

At this point, I don't know what I'd go back for. Def don't have the time or the money but cosmetology school may be cool. I got 3/4s of a journalism degree before seeing the going rate for a magazine editor being a $500 a month stipend and realizing I made that working stoned overnights at IHOP in a week, but! you don't need to go to school to learn something, you just need to go to get a degree and I definitely want to always be learning and growing and expanding my horizons. I believe that you start getting old when you stop being curious about the world.

Can you parallel park?

Oh yeah, spending the better part of your 20s delivering pizzas in Chicago will teach you lots of tricks.

Job you had that would surprise people?

Personal nurse, I guess? Did it through the state for a friend for a year while they were recovering from cancer. I guess it would be surprising only bc it's one of the few non-food or customer service gigs I've had.

Aliens real?

Statistically they have to be, but I don't think they built the pyramids or anything like that because we don't give them any good reasons to stick around and hang out. I believe everything in the world is magic and science is the process by which that magic becomes mundane and that aliens, cryptids, and other paranormal stuff is just stuff we don't have the tools to figure out yet.

Can you drive stick?

I get it in theory but never tried outside of Ridge Racer.

Guilty pleasure?

You're supposed to live life guilt free and seek pleasure in all things, hope this helps!

Tattoos?

Got a lot of em, one of my oldest friends from back home learned how to tattoo on me and is now a bigshot international tattoo playboy. Money was really tight for a few years and now my guy and I are too busy to coordinate an appointment, but I used to go at least once every month. Still got some pieces and spots I wanna cover. Last one I got was a beholder above my left hand!

Fave color?

Purple for so many reasons! It's my mom's favorite too and I love the smell of lavender, love seeing it in flowers and other natural things, love Prince and grape flavored anything!

Fave type of music?

Any and all, but punk has always had my heart and soul. Been going to punk shows since I was a wee babby and worked at multiple record stores, so I'm insufferable. The guitarist from Melt-Banana is probably one of the greatest living musical geniuses. Finally gave The Cramps a fair listen and I really dig them. Also this account believes Utada Hikaru is a living legend! Revisited Godspeed You, Black Emperor recently and I think they're one of the most important bands to ever live. Lately been digging Teengenerate, The Osees, Slowdive, Show Me The Body, and the new albums from JPEGMAFIA and Clairo! Send me your fall playlist and I'll send you mine!!

Do you like puzzles?

Not like putting pieces together picture puzzles, but I get a kick out of riddles and word puzzles. Had a coworker at the pizza place who knew a bunch off the top of his head and I got pretty good at figuring them out. Also sometimes my job feels like a less lethal version of a Silent Hill or Resident Evil puzzle so there's that.

Phobias?

Heights, flying, I have a reoccurring dream of driving up a really steep and narrow bridge that just ends before I can see over the top of the curve and I go over the edge, so I get real nervous and quiet when driving over them in real life in case the dream is prophetic.

Favorite childhood sport?

Skateboarding? not really a sport, but I have asthma what do you want from me? my friends in high school also had this game called Dodge the Bat we'd play whenever we were walking around the neighborhood where you'd take a metal bat and yell "DODGE THE BAT!" before throwing it at a group of our friends and everyone would just scatter. Even less of a sport.

Talk to yourself?

Constantly, though masking in public has helped a constant self-mumbler like myself look way saner lately.

Movies you adore?

So many! The Shape of Water is probably my all time fave and Guillermo Del Toro probably my favorite director. I have a list on my phone of Lucca Certified Horror Bangers. Most recent addition is Profondo Rosso (Deep Red for all you non-guidos out there) after watching it on @thechurchofsplatterdaysaints 's rec and being totally blown away! Must consume more Argento.

Coffee or Tea?

Coffee for the fuel, tea for the taste! Love an iced matcha from Dunkin, current favorite tea is Constant Comment but it changes all the time. I always make a lemon lift + constant comment iced tea in the morning in the once in a blue moon instance work is having me stay at a hotel that has both tea bags and a working ice machine.

1st thing you wanted to be when grew up?

Video game QA tester but really only because I thought it was the only job where you could get paid to play video games, but my years in the work force have shown me you can get paid to play video games at any job if you're sneaky enough.

[meechatuck]

Uno Reverse Time!

❤- Favorite Tangled Character?

💔- Least favorite Tangled Character?

✨- Moonstone or Sundrop?

🎥- Favorite Season (½/3)?

🔮- Something you wish had happened in the series?

📺- Another show you’d like to see have a cross over with Tangled?

😺- Number 1 animal companion?   

💎- Favorite AU?

💜- Characters you think should have interacted at all or more?

💍- Would you marry anyone in the Tangled world?

👗- Favorite character outfit?

👔- Least favorite character outfit?

🧠- Random Tangled Headcanon you have?

🎞- Movie or Series?

📚- Favorite Tangled Fanfic?

⏰- When did you join the fandom?

💞- Which character do you relate to the most?

💥- A big a opinion you have related to the Tangled movie/series?

Whoa doggy that's a lot and I'm so pumped to answer them all!!!!

Fav Tangled Char?

I mean Hector is like number one because he's just such a cool character with so much to him that was unexplored. I also adore Adira because she's just such a queen. I'll give a special shout out to Ruthless Ruth because she is awesome as well and her song is amazing.

Least Fav Char?

I'd have to say Willow. To my defense, it's because I have a sister like her and seeing how she acted in the episode just drove me nuts. She does have a good moment at the end, but overall I just have a personal dislike for her.

Moonstone or Sundrop?

Gotta go with Moonstone. I'm more of a moon person anyways, but again it's so unexplored and has so much we don't know about it. It intrigues me so.

Fav Season?

Season 2 for sure. I liked that it had more wacky adventures and of course Hector and Adira. I also liked to see how Raps and Cass started to become distant (although it was sad to me) and how that unfolded.

Something you wish had happened in the series?

Broken record here but just more Brotherhood stuff! Seeing them interact? Or just more about the Dark Kingdom in general. I hated that they introduced this whole other kingdom and didn't give us much about them at all! I also wished they would have given us some better maps of the whole continent with all the kingdoms. I love stuff like that!

Another Show you'd like to see have a cross over with Tangled?

Oooh this is a hard one...I've been re-watching Avatar the Last Airbender and that would be a great crossover to me.

#1 Animal companion?

I love the bearcats and rhino, but Pascal has always had my heart from the movie. I'd say he's my number one, then the bearcats and rhino.

Fav AU?

I have a few favs, but my top ones are where Hector takes Varian in after Quirin is encased in the amber and the one where Varian is encased instead of Quirin and Quirin has a dark streak.

Character you think should have interacted at all or more?

The big one for me was more Brotherhood interactions!!!! I would have loved to see Adira and Hector talk to Quirin. Another I've always wanted to see is what Hector would have thought about Andrew and his cause with the Saporians. I feel they have a lot of similarities.

Would you marry anyone in the Tangled world?

I mean I am completely happily married currently haha, but I'd have to say probably Adira or Lance. As much as I love Hector, he's got A LOT of baggage and emotional stuff going on (as do I XD). I don't think we'd be that compatible or good for one another.

Fav Char outfit?

I really liked Raps dress in season 3. I've always found it super cute and I love the neck line area (whatever that's called). A special shout out to her coronation dress, because that was just a beautiful piece of work!

Least fav char outfit?

I've never liked Eugene's outfit in Before Happily Ever After (he also wears it a few times in season 2 I believe). It was just so plain to me and I feel they could have done a little more with it.

Random Tangled Headcanon you have?

I had one about the Brotherhood all knowing how to pick locks and still really stand by it haha. One I recently came up with is when Cass has Adira and Hector with the Mindtrap that she would try and get them to do as she said without using it as like a power move over them.

Movie or series?

I gotta say the movie. It's been my fav Disney film since it came out and was the first Disney movie to make me cry (other than when I was like really little).

Favorite Tangled Fanfic?

Ooh there are so many! I do love your Incarnate fic its pretty good. I'll admit I haven't read a lot of TTS fics. I can think of a few Brotherhood fics but I cannot find where they are. If you want them I can dig deeper and find them, but at the moment I can't find them.

When did you join the fandom?

I started watching TTS in the winter of 2021. I was super late into the fandom sadly. I still wish I had been there in the beginning to be there for everything. Admittedly, I remember when this show was first coming out, but I was working full time and in school so it was low on my list of priorities and eventually forgotten.

Which char do you relate to the most?

The two that really come to mind are Lance and King Fredric. Lance, because I have the urges to talk myself up (like he did with Adira baha), but also his desire to have a family. King Fredric is a char I know gets a lot of hate, but I really connected with him at the end of season 1 when he feels like a failure for losing Raps as a baby. I really felt that as a parent myself that sometimes we want to make certain decisions that are very harsh, but come from a place of genuine fear and concern for those we love. Its a very real thing that can be a big obstacle to overcome. Maybe I am too soft hearted about it, but that really struck a chord with me.

A big opinion you have related to the Tangle movie/series?

Cass should have had a whole extra season with the Moonstone and exploring it's powers. Also for her to really show her emotions and how she felt about her treatment. She wasn't mean enough in my opinion.

[brittanagirlcrush]

I need to rant

So, feel free to totally ignore this but if I don't get this out I will continue obsessing and that's not getting me anywhere.

I'm a writer. Whether I'm good or not is up for debate - I think I am. I write stories I like to read and my grammar/spelling/mechanics are usually pretty good. I've had (mostly) positive feedback on my stories.

I have absolutely ZERO problem if you have a piece of constructive criticism for me. Something doesn't make sense? Something is problematic? I screwed up on the timeline? Cool, let me know. You have suggestions on what I could have done differently? Cool. I'm not saying I'll take these suggestions but I am 100% okay hearing them.

I end up ranting about non-constructive criticism. People who guest comment stuff that doesn't contribute to my growth as a writer or my understanding of a mistake I may have made.

Case in point:

Recently, someone commented about my handling of Santana's ED. Now, I left all of that intentionally vague (like, so vague I probably could have gotten away with not putting a TW for ED but I did so "just in case") for several reasons:

1) I'm not 100% behind the idea that Santana had an ED. I know that's not the prevailing opinion of the fandom but I am more of the opinion that Santana was body conscious (or self-conscious) but not to the point of an ED. I think, and this is simply my opinion, that the fandom locked onto Naya's ED and took whatever was in canon to bolster the opinion that Santana also had one. Yes, there is canonical evidence that Santana had an ED but there is also canonical evidence that she didn't.

B) I have some of my own issues with food and weight so I really didn't want to research and delve into ED. It was one (rather short) scene and I will never mention it again in any of my fics.

HOWEVER,

The person who commented was polite and articulate and I appreciated their criticism.

My only intent was Santana going from too thin/scrawny from poor diet and too much/the wrong kind of exercise to being healthy from eating a healthier diet and exercising more moderately. Thus, the change in her appearance. Working with a counselor was her way of working through all of Sue's brainwashing.

I just felt that Santana would have been self-conscious about gaining weight, not necessarily because of an ED, simply because of who she is and how she was raised.

So, if that commenter is reading this, thank you.

Now, onto the reason for this rant.

If you don't like a song, cool, I get that. Not everyone is going to like every song. Telling me it's a terrible song and seems like my song choices were self-indulgent; not helpful.

Also, Santana sang "She's Mine" ... a country song from 1987 ... I don't think "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" ...

a number one hit for Bryan Adams (for 16 weeks) in 1991, was featured in the movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves,

Oh, wait ... it was also released by Brandy in 1998 on her album Never Say Never (which also featured The Boy Is Mine with Monica - you remember that song, right? Santana and Mercedes sang it together in Season 1) ...

is really that much of a stretch to think Santana MAY know that song.

Whether it's a terrible song or not is debatable.

For the record; most of my song choices end up being totally random.

Saying my writing is "ableist" ... not helpful. I had to look up ableist. Then I had to re-read my fic. And I still have no idea what that comment meant. How was it ableist?

Onto the comment that kind of made me scratch my head:

"The dialog (especially from brittany) reads like a tumblr rant and not at all like natural human speech"

It was a review for The Spaces In Between. I re-read my fic and, I am unsure if the person meant ALL of the dialogue or just Brittany's rant in the last chapter. I will be the first to admit that sometimes I get the voices wrong. But I thought I did okay with TSIB.

If it's just Brittany's rant in the last chapter, then it was exactly what I wanted it to be. A rant. A word vomiting rant of epic proportions. Because Brittany was pissed. Look at her face in IKAG. She was angry and Brittany (oddly, much like myself) doesn't get angry. She gets annoyed or irritated, vents it quickly ("I do love you. Obviously you don't love you as much as I do or you would put on this shirt and dance with me!") and lets it go.

However, long fuses can still be lit. Brittany spent a good portion of Season 3 not talking to anyone but Santana (she even mentions it in Promasaurus). She was pissed and she bottled it up. For Santana. Because Santana needed her. But when those long fuses get lit they will, at some point, explode. The wrong thing, said by the wrong person, at the exact wrong moment and BOOM.

It's not supposed to be coherent and "natural human speech". It's not something Brittany does - Santana does insulting rants - Brittany doesn't. So, when it happens, it's not "natural"; it's angry and messy and very un-Brittany-like. (People are always surprised when I "go off" IRL because "that's just not like you").

Oddly, this "rant" isn't angry. It's annoyed. If you don't like my writing, don't read it. I (mostly) write for me but I know there are seven or ten people out there who enjoy my stuff so I write for them as well. If you have something constructive to say, I'm glad to hear it. If your only goal is to tear me (or, really, any fic writer) down for the sole purpose of upsetting me - I gotta wonder - who hurt you?

Ok. Now that I've vented my spleen about this nonsense, I can get back to my "real" writing.

Chasing the Dream isn't going to write itself (sadly).

[autistic-autumn]

Music Ramblings No. 10

Been a while since I've done this and recently was struck by an urge to try find a bunch more music to listen to. Ended up scrambling to the library an hour before it closed but I got a bunch of stuff for the next few weeks hopefully.

Also because I haven't done these in a while basically this is just a long post of my thoughts on music after listening to it. If you want to share music my inbox and dms are always open to share stuff. I don't always get or understand music but I do like listening to it.

Alfred Schnittke - String Quartet No. 2 This piece was recommended to me to listen to after a rehearsal of a movement of my own piano quintets I am in the process of writing. The opening movement is nice short little spacious sounding thing with a number of interesting techniques and sounds produced, although it mostly functions as a prelude the more more thrilling and dramatic second movement. The second movement is violent and intense, as well as extremely difficult to perform. Each instrument plays a pattern over a slightly different subdivision creating a extremely dense and chaotic sound. There are very few movements in this movement I found where two instruments were using the same subdivision at all. Combined with the dissonant harmonic language this whole movement is quite striking, and I suspect the effect would be amplified significantly in a live performance.

The piece naturally calms after this explosive second movement, with the third having a more solemn sound to it. The way the double stops are used to create what is effectively an inner or lower pedal tone is a very nice effect, and does in many ways remind me of Arvo Part's tintinnabulation. The strings do eventually break away from this into a strange sort of two part counterpoint on the violins as it builds in intensity. The piece ends up flicking between the full unison sound of the quartet and the same irregular subdivision of the second movement which creates some really nice contrast in the texture. A final breath of fresh air is heard with the arrival of the fouth movement with the stacked 5th chords and a slow shimmering texture. There are a lot more distinctive melodies and the ones played on harmonics in octave unison towards is particularly sublime.

The way the four movements feel complete coherent is a real highlight of this piece I think. Every movement compliments the one that comes before and after it, and while my favourite would be the third movement it would equally feel incomplete without the dramatic 2nd movement preceding it and the shimmer 4th to follow. Overall a very interesting piece and one I should perhaps study more closely at a later date.

Julia Wolfe - Anthracite Fields: IV. Flowers Always saying I need to get into more minimalist and post-minimalist stuff and I was looking through Julia Wolfe stuff late last night and stumbled across this piece. The layering and texture created by this piece is phenomenal, and while I tend to prefer the more slow moving minimalist choral works, the faster pacing and more regular shifts in texture and harmony were very refreshing in this. It's a very rich and colorful piece. It's from a larger work, although I'm yet to listen to anything but this movement itself. Something about this piece just captivated me far more than I was expecting with it. Once again a lot to look into and learn from a piece like this.

Leos Janacek - On an Overgrown Path: VI Words Failed Me Speaking of single movements from larger works I haven't listened to, this is another. This is a nice short little piano piece but there is a surprising amount of color to it. Another thing that particularly fascinates me with this piece is the breadth of freedom the performer has with interpretation. Every recording I've found of it is entirely different. It's not a hard piece either, but yet it's still surprisingly captivating little thing. The careful use of wholetone scales and the simple yet clear harmony.

Chopin - Prelude No. 8 in F#m op.28 I'm not normally big on Chopin but recently heard this prelude for the first time and was immediately struck by it. It's absolutely ferociously difficult consistent of a fairly simple melody in the middle and a lot of embellishment around it. The climax where it rises up to the top of the piano has some absolutely phenomenal harmony right before it falls all the way back down. I absolutely adore the last few bars where it briefly ventures into F# major before falling into F# minor again, creating this little glint of light just at the end. I particularly like this recording of it as it wasn't taken too fast and gave the piece plenty of room the breath.

I particularly mention this piece as I have recently been following Ben Laude and the Chopin podcast he's doing with Garrick Ohlsson and others as it's giving a lot of really good insight into a composer who I've often disregarded. I've always taken a more Gouldean approach to Chopin but hearing others who know a lot about Chopin carefully break down a lot of his work has been extremely fascinating.

Anyways most a lot of short things for this post just because I kind of want to get something done but hopefully will keep doing more at some point later.

[the-firebird69]

We have a couple things to report

-John r is going to go to jail fairly soon he is reported to have been psychotic last night and this morning and has been recently shot in the head and he is special warrant in Charlotte county for several family charges felony charges that he incurred last night one of them is allude behavior and vivacious behavior he was seen finally himself on the street and was recorded and the video sent to the police and they are going to arrest him he was found on the side of the road eating his own seed and arrested no and someone called the police on him he was also seen running around neighborhoods which are near I would say the concrete plant in the airport sort of but more towards town screaming and shouting I will kill him and things like that now I don't think we should have to say things but nobody seems to get it okay so we get so if you're inspiring him to do these things or you're holding him here or not allowing people to leave to have him leave or screwing around with our son we will visit you and take your stuff and we do follow what we're saying so before warned. There's also another matter of John r

-actually being late for work everyday every single day and lately doesn't even show up at the ferry boat. And a lot of people have to get their money back many times because he didn't show up at all so they want to fire him and they know he'll come back as 20 different people so they want to fire him and put in no trespass order because he was not allowed to pilot ships like three times because he was drunk they're going to go ahead and press charges at fisherman's village and they're going to see that he is a huge animal meaning that his behavior is completely despicable and you should not have our son stuck here next to this crude piece of crap that is as you do we are going to town on you and taking all of his power and businesses as a matter of fact we have another 5,000 factories that we are taking over and we're installing another wall tonight and we are going to use our son and daughter's idea of clearing a path of factories and we need those particular factories that we can make a line out of and we need them now so we're doing that and it's going to go that way this week because of everybody here is a huge a****** and it'll listen to it all morning you took an hour break and everything became some sort of calamity and then outrageous thing and really I now feel the anger and hatred their feeling because it's really out there what they're doing is maddening and he's a very young guy he's been saying it too I deserve humongous medals because my age it's like having a private sit here he's saying it too later so they heard me complaining and it happened that's a Frank Castle hardcastle and they say it to them all day and he says you know Bitol and goddess wife they have a name in the business their business is lawyer work you would think that he would be arguing with them are yelling at them but I know what he's doing I believe that he comes back and he gets him back for real 100% for real and most of them are not around anymore so they want to see what he's doing I guess he's hiding again and this is another thing I've seen him do things and it's not pretty but you're right about something they just kind of disappear and that's what we have to do and John leave the line is threatening a sudden with stuff and really we don't need that piece of s*** he's no rbel. He's telling bja this guy Trump is no friend of mine and he agrees people see it too he's just as hateful piece of s*** saying he's going to threaten for this and threaten for that I'm threatening you for this and our son says no you're not and really this is an ugly scenario and he does it all the time and people here are for some reason not strong enough to stop him or think it works or think he'll fall for something who knows what we're going to eradicate his stupid people until it stops and that's what we're doing all over the world we're getting very aggressive with them we're going to have a meeting now with Bitol and the goddess wife. He told her son and daughter and they haven't forgotten and they don't put too much weight on them because if they need some people out he'll come by and take them out

Thor Freya

Olympus

Certainly not too funny to you Trump and we're going to prove it again and big mouth

Bitol and Goddess Wife

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary173

3/5-6/2024

tuesday - wednesday

off for 2 days now.

i recorded today, but idk if i like all of it. it's hard to get the word "he'd" right. maybe just especially because i'm starting on it. it's a hard word to begin with.

i was gonna mess with the mix on the vocals more but ableton crashed and i was at work until 10 instead of 9, so i'm tired, and i was starving as usual and stuff. so i'm maybe gonna call it here today. i did wanna do another song but idk. it's good to figure this harder stuff out right now i suppose. i think it's really annoying that this song in particular will crash ableton. very stupid imo.

it's frustrating, also, that this song is just really a single problem area vocally, the start of it, i can't figure out how to say the thing right.

might have a better idea tomorrow though, i need to sleep.

one thing, today, is that as i was walking home, or maybe to begin with, today while walking to work, i saw lots of cops out in this shopping plaza, for no reason, or i guess maybe i know now, but the homeless camp i saw, where there were tents and a community of people helping, and people who would come by and help, stuff like that, it was all gone, beyond even being gone, seeing the void there, it was like giving you the idea nothing was ever there. i've seen people living that way for a long time now, and especially recently. i guess pigs came and took them all away. it makes me very upset, and sick, that this happens, and that there's multiple apparatuses that are made to make invisible and untouchable the maladies that the system we are trapped in creates/births.

either way, i don't know what else to say. i saw a security guard getting all buddy with cops, a pathetic admiration from a guy who probably failed to become one himself.

anyways. that's all today, maybe. i did read, ofc, when i got to work early. i also got my card today. oh that's stuff i have to talk about. i saw my stepdad today, he was kind enough to bring the card to me, i imagined i'd walk over or something at some point, but i have it now. i bought clothes already. he was talking to me about how things are at home, or i guess just little pieces, i didn't pry too much. i guess because i know he sees things in skewed ways, especially with my mom. but she did not tell me that their dog, one of them, one that they had for 18 years, died. i feel very bad for my stepdad who loved that dog very much. one of his best friends on earth i think. she apparently died on superbowl sunday. she has been cremated. she was originally my mom's, but his affection for the dog eventually made the dog his i suppose. my mom really resented that, and that he didn't take especially great care of her. i think she blames him. on some level, i guess she would be right. he didn't bathe her enough, and she was likely very unhealthy because of a very unclean mouth, one that had no teeth left inside. frustrating stuff, but he loved the dog. he kind of lives with very little, my stepdad, he could have more than what he has, but he elects to instead hoard food, hoard resources, and not clean himself or let anyone else be as clean as they would like really. it's not good. but i guess it explains why he thought taking her to get groomed rarely made sense or something. it seems common for people of a certain age/generation to hoard food and stuff like that. always interested in tiny gadgets too. for some reason.

i would like to record and stuff tomorrow, but i have to get up a bit earlier to make that happen. and then idk. more mixing. more mixing and more mixing. i want to get out of the 1 song a day rut. i really want to do 2 tomorrow. ...

anyway i keep making typos and stuff and i'm sleepy, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pastedpast]

Hello and welcome to my blog, 'pasted past'! It is a jumble of thoughts and scraps of information cut and pasted (hence the pun) from the Internet and jotted down from books and magazines which focus on art, history, nature, music, travel, film, and more besides. Occasionally, I write about personal stuff, but I tend to discard posts with particular opinions after a while.

I've been working on this blog as a labour of love since February 2011, and never more than in the last year or so. I am continuously editing: amending, updating, even deleting posts. I tap words into my mobile phone, tablet or computer, whichever is closest to hand. I could be on a train, or the beach, at my desk, or in bed - whenever the ideas and inspiration strike and I just have to note it all down. Like me, it is a work in progress, forever changing, developing, evolving. I don't know how many people read my blog, but I write it for myself, regardless. It has provided a peaceful oasis/refuge for my mind, giving me something else to concentrate on during times of turmoil!

My other hobbies include making scrapbooks, bookmarks, digital collages, decoupaging tins and boxes, and recording the events of my life in diaries. I like working with scissors, paper and glue, the original tools for cutting and pasting. I'm limited in both talent and resources, but, never mind, it keeps me out of trouble!

Ideally, I'd like to publish some sort of book using a selection of my favourite pieces of work on this blog, but that's unlikely. I've currently written over 1800 posts, many of which still require editing and those with pictures would cost a fortune to print out in bulk. Plus, I'm not sure about copyright issues. I've tried my best to credit all sources on the blog, but have sometimes slipped up and forgotten. Maybe I will publish another type of book one day, or just stick to my scrapbooks. I love books: browsing, buying, collecting and, oh yeh, reading them, so no wonder I want to make ones of my own as well!

On a final note, the photographs above are of the 'Spanish omelette in progress' that I made with my friend after I returned from Barcelona last month. I don't get chance to do much cooking these days as I haven't had my own kitchen for four years. I didn't bother taking a pic of the end result because it looked nothing like the magnificent culinary masterpiece I discovered while I was there (totally scrumptious!), although, to be fair, our effort was tasty enough, especially as I served it with fresh green beans and cheese. I originally posted the photos on Facebook, but I've recently deactivated my profile (again!). I prefer writing (and editing) on this platform instead. Sure, I don't always know where to place commas and I know next to nothing about the more advanced mechanics of sentence structure, e.g clauses, or things like split infinitives - I didn't have particularly good schooling in my teens - but I try my best to write as clearly I can*.

*A tutor at university once commented in some feedback about an assignment I'd done that I wrote "lucidly and engagingly" - great praise I will always treasure!

[lgcyushin]

"....that many times. that's a lot of times. which means that it's a very good recommendation and i will take that to heart. so.. i'll pencil it in to watch it sometime and update you." agito's schedule has been less hectic recently, and after being given the recording studios, he wonders if it's so that they'll focus more on composing or whatnot? either way, yushin likes the support and is plenty happy about it. "which- i don't even have your contact information, which is crazy when you think about it... considering how long we've both respectively been at the company." he holds out his phone and offers it to jihan, if she wants to pop in her information. if not, he can always update her once they run into each other again, depending on if legacy and their own planetary orbits were to ever collide again. not to be dramatic or anything.

"don't mind if i do," yushin shimmies towards the snacks and reaches for one, popping it in his mouth. "oh.... i mean. i understand the whole thing with art style, but at least that's subjective. half my friends won't watch the older stuff, just because it's so old fashioned but i really like those, even though some were released even before i was born, or right when i was a baby. have you watched any of the classic ones? like.. evangelion, one piece... the original gundam. or is that too far in the past?" yushin takes a mental note and types in some of the anime names that he caught. "i think i've seen clips of horimiya and link click but i have no idea what they are about. romance ones, right? or am i off the mark. there's only so much a short snippet on social media can tell you, with the exception of ones without any warning about spoilers. i swear, that should be illegal. i think someone posted some horrible spoilers about a new episode of something the other day. which just makes me not want to watch it. or maybe it's telling me i should stay off social media."

"i am positive the trainees are the busiest, honestly. it wouldn't hurt to be busier, but i guess time in transit is always time i can spend sleeping or watching something. thankfully, no motion sickness here," yushin puffs his chest proudly, as if it's something he's had to work on - which its not. this makes him realize that there really should be more time for people to meet in the company to spend time to know one another, and not just the members of their group, or their training group. the place was so big and half the time he walked through the halls, it was only strangers. crazy.

yushin:

“i’ve barely caught up with new animes! i can’t believe you’re already out of things to watch. i can’t even find a website to watch oshi no ko on, i heard that’s the new hot thing. although i did start watching a few other ones, but only the ones that are rather short.” man is halfway through one piece and can’t be bothered to catch up through the oher five hundred episodes, mark him sad and a fallen comrade. "honestly, this is so inspiring for me to remember to take some time for myself and actually do things that i like. okay, lightning round - what are some animes you recommend?” 

why was it so hard to get such interactions from those on a different path? especially the idols. jihan rarely conversed with them, almost afraid she would cross some imaginary line that most trainees created out of respect. and don't get her started on being around the 'male species'. there was no such thing as creating friendships with them and even showcasing that outside of the company walls, making it even harder to know who your peers were. so, in a way, jihan was happy yushin had found her in hermit mode. who knows when she'll get the chance again?

"the drama is really sad but so good. i cried a few times watching it." she never cried watching any shows or movies, it simply didn't connect with her in a way that real emotions would come out. "this would be my fourth time watching it! can you imagine sitting through hour-long episodes that many times? not me." she chuckled, clutching her blanket as if she was offended by his guess. "I've been watching anime for half of my life, i form tears but out of excitement… not sadness."

as the brunette noticed the other getting comfortable, she pushed over a few snacks that were shareable to the middle of the two as she listened to him talk. "to be fair, I'm extremely picky with what i watch because the art style has to be extremely good." she also doesn't experiment much with what she watches in terms of genre. "i remember the days when i had to watch anime on youtube, like the really old ones until could find my reliable source." she giggles, pulling out her phone so she can browse the playlist she has created for herself. "i recommend… honey and clover, lucky star, school babysitters, soul eater, link click, horimiya…." her words trailing off as she realized just how much of a rant she was going off. "these are mainly easy watching since I'm sure you don't have a lot of time."