#i've been wanting to do this since the us trailer came out but at the time we didn't have as many wlw kisses as we do now

[khaoala]

gmmtv's girls kissers hall

AYE SARUNCHANA and RAISARAT PRINEE in FRIENDZONE 2 (2020) JAN PLOYSHOMPOO and PEARWAH NICHAPHAT in P.S I Hate You (2022) JAN PLOYSHOMPOO, JESSICA PASAPHAN and SILVY PAVIDA in The Warp Effect (2022) LOOKJUN BHASIDI and NONNIE PITCHAPORN in Only Friends (2023) EMI THASORN and BONNIE PUSSARASORN in Us (pilot trailer, 2024) MILK PANSA and LOVE PATTRANITE in 23.5 (2024), Whale Store xoxo (pilot trailer, 2024), Girl Rules (pilot trailer, 2024) VIEW BENYAPA and JUNE WANWIMOL in 23.5 (2024) JUNE WANWIMOL and MEWNICH NANNAPHAS in Whale Store xoxo (pilot trailer, 2024) VIEW BENYAPA and MIM RATTANAWADEE in Girl Rules (pilot trailer, 2024) NAMTAN TIPNAREE and FILM RACHANUN in Pluto (2024-2025), Girl Rules (pilot trailer, 2024) KAPOOK PLOYNIRA and PIPLOY KANYARAT in The Trainee (2024) KAPOOK PLOYNIRA, CIIZE RUTRICHA and EARN PREEYAPHAT in Pluto (2024)

[sskk-manifesto]

What a good episode. Maaaaaan

[cherrychilli]

18+

Eddie Munson x AFAB reader, friends to lovers, mentions of nudity, brief mention of masturbation (m). Basically, Eddie finds you sleeping naked in his bed.

A/N: Idk I've had this idea in my head for too long now and I need to exorcise it out of me with this little drabble or I'll never be able to get on with my life.

Forest Hills trailer park wasn't your usual stop after clocking out of work but after the day you’ve had you don’t have it in you to wait for the next bus back to your apartment. Your place is 30 minutes away but the journey is sure to take even longer in the current downpour.

Staying over at the trailer wasn't anything new. A spare key was entrusted to you years ago and you made use of it on days like this to crash at Eddie’s for convenience sake. The key came with the promise that you were welcome to anything you needed even if both Eddie and Wayne were away – shower, food, an extra change of clothes, what have you, and you needed them all today.

With Wayne out of town for a few days and Eddie due back in two hours you sink into auto pilot, weary down to the bone from your shift. Maybe that’s why it doesn’t feel as weird as it probably should when you started to undress in their kitchenette, hanging your work clothes over the back of a nearby chair, rummaging through the fridge in your bra and panties for a quick bite to eat before heading for the shower.

There wasn’t much in it besides beer since Wayne hadn’t been around to stock it. Eddie always preferred ordering take out over getting groceries – something you were going to nag him for again when you had the strength to do so.

Cereal it would have to be.

You located a box inside one of the cupboards, tipping the wheaty, sugary contents straight into your mouth without bothering with a bowl and spoon. It’s not lost on you how similarly you’re acting to Eddie right down to the unruly state of half undress, wiping crumbs off your lips with the back of your hand. If you finished off with a belch it'd be like he never left the trailer this morning.

The messy mouthfuls of cereal prove enough to silence the toad’s croak of hunger that'd been gurgling noisily inside your belly, putting the box away.

Traipsing through, feet dragging, you threw your clothes into the washer next along with your underwear, completely nude now in the Munson trailer as you made your way to the shower – but not before reaching out for Eddie's Garfield mug that sat on a nearby shelf, turning it around so that the cartoon cat's lazy smirk no longer faced you. For your modesty.

You try to keep the shower brisk, not wanting to use up all the hot water but with the way it sprays down on your aching body, the steam and heat combo soothing your poor sore muscles, it’s so blissful that you have to keep yourself from nodding off right there.

You did make use of Eddie’s body wash, some spicy, woodsy smelling thing in a jet-black bottle but you didn't dare use the two in one shampoo that sat in their shower caddy. It might have worked fine for Eddie and his wild mane but you knew better than to apply the stuff to your own hair. Fortunately, experience had taught you to carry a travel sized bottle filled with your own shampoo whenever you stayed over, working over your locks in a lather scented with cranberries and vanilla.

Stamina depleting by the second, toweling off and brushing your teeth takes the last sliver of energy out of you. Eyelids slipping, movements sluggish, limbs feeling too heavy for your own body to hold up – you’re shutting down whether you like it or not.

Dropping the damp towel on his bedroom floor, you intended to change, you really did. You’d even picked out one of Eddie’s washed t-shirts and a pair of boxers out of the laundry and set them down at the foot of the bed to put on before you made yourself comfortable but that’s not what happened.

Still nude, you crawl into bed, seeking warmth and soft comfort, numbed down to a kind of tunnel vision with rest being your one and only goal.

It feels all the more natural because you’re used to sleeping naked in your own bed, much too tired to remember that you’re not in your bed, draping a blanket that doesn't belong to you over your spent body, surrendering to sleep seconds after your head hits the pillow.

It'd still been raining when Eddie returns later. Dragging himself through the trailer, nearly as worn down as you had been, shaking the excess water out of his hair like a dog trying to get dry.

The smell of your shampoo still lingering in the air tells him you're there, finding you curled up in his bed, all bundled up to your neck. The sight makes him smile.

It doesn't take too long for him to join you, following a similar routine – a quick bite with the addition of a beer and then a shower, only he doesn't skip out on clothing himself in his PJ's first.

If he’d shared the blanket with you he might have found out about your lack of dress sooner but as the gentleman that he can sometimes be, he pulls out a spare blanket from the closet so as to not wake you, prolonging the discovery. Being friends for so long meant that sharing a bed was never awkward even after you'd became adults.

That was until the next morning came.

It’s not the stream of morning light brightening from a cool blue to a warm amber peeking in between the curtains that wakes Eddie, or even the tinny smack of his neighbor’s broken screen door gusting open just a few feet away from his bedroom window. It’s the warmth of your ass pressed flush against his crotch and his nose nestled in your sweet-smelling hair that pulls him out of a dream he wont be able to recall later if he tried.

He shifts closer, eyes cracking open, remembering the tiny bottle of shampoo sitting on the bathroom counter. Remembering the new toothbrush placed in the cup next to his own. Remembering the powder blue towel that neither he nor Wayne ever used laying on his bedroom floor.

And then he remembers that he’s not alone.

Oh...

And then he wishes that he was.

Panic snaps up like a beartrap around Eddie when he realizes he's hard – his thick, throbbing erection pressed right up against your body.

Growing clammy, cold sweat beads on the back of his neck but he’s in luck because you haven’t noticed yet, still sound asleep.

This close together, he knows the slightest movement could rouse you. But what was the alternative? Wait it out? Hope to hell his boner goes away? Fat fucking chance. Not when the soft swell of your ass and your body heat alone had him questioning how he could ever go back to his calloused fist after this.

Carefully, desperately, he tries to inch back without waking you but just as he feared, you begin to stir. Your back arches instinctively, seeking out his warm, solid frame even in your sleep.

Shit shit shit.

The covers slip as you shift, your bare shoulders coming into view, eyes starting to flutter open. With no other option, Eddie swiftly rolls on to his back, his hard on no longer pressed up against you but the problem persists.

“Oh, morning”, you greet him through a yawn, pulling an arm out to rub at your eyes, blanket slipping lower but the frantic boy hasn’t noticed yet, too busy whipping his pillow out from under him to place over his lap.

“Uh-hey. Shower’s free if you wanna go first”, he offers quickly, smiling hard, hoping to subtly usher you out because he's too afraid to get up and risk you getting a load of the tent in his pants if he were to go ahead of you.

“Thanks”, you yawn again, still occupied with rubbing at your sleepy eyes to notice your best friend's pale face turning beet fucking red in an instant as you clamber out of bed, blankets no longer concealing you.

Eddie doesn’t know where to look first. His eyes dart everywhere, every bare inch of you on display. So much soft, naked skin it’s making him short circuit.

His gaze eagerly travels over the slope of your breasts as they jiggle gently with your movements, taking in your soft nipples, moving down over your belly and hips, noticing a few new freckles and beauty marks there along the way to the soft curls between your legs.

His erection digs into the pillow, brain dangerously close to fizzing because he’d been pressed up against you like that all night and not even known it.

A shiver works its way through you, making you question why it feels so drafty in his room all of a sudden. You turn back to ask Eddie if there’s anything wrong with the heating, catching the shocked expression on his face.

Looking down, you're met with the sight of your nude body, breasts bare, no underwear. It's a good thing the occupants of the trailer park liked to mind their own business, even if sometimes you thought they did so to a fault because in any other neighborhood your piercing screech would have had everyone within earshot dialing up the cops.

The scream ricochets off the walls at an ear ringing volume, causing Eddie to jolt and lose his balance, falling out of bed while you leapt back in. Grabbing his spare pillow, you press one half against your chest and squeeze the rest between your thighs to shield yourself.

Now he slaps his hands over his eyes.

---

More than anything, you try so hard to push it aside. To pretend that it hadn't happened but it looms over you like a cloud on the brink of bursting with rain.

After three whole days of walking around eggshells around each other it's Eddie who breaks first.

"I can't stand this I don't know what else to do, Can we just talk about it please?"

“Eddie…", you sigh, a gentle warning.

"So what if I saw you naked? you saw my boner!...sort of. I mean, I guess that doesn't exactly make us even but it has to count for something, right? you're not alone in this"

You immediately set your wide eyes on the only other patrons in the diner to see if they’d overheard – two older women swapping pictures of their grandchildren over coffee and cheesecake. When neither of them take a pause in the middle of cooing about little Tommy's third Birthday or little Emily's first day of Kindergarten you redirect your attention back to Eddie.

“Eddie! Keep your voice down!”, you whisper shout at him from across the booth. "There are literal grandmother's here!"

He rolls his eyes. Not mean spirited, just unconcerned by the ladies and what they may or may not have overheard.

And then, even though no one’s paying either of you any attention, you lean closer over your half-finished key lime pie, one hand shielding the side of your face like you’re trying to avoid getting recognized by an ex who’s just walked in.

"I'm so embarrassed...please can we just drop it?", you plead, voice hushed.

He gives you this look of mild incredulity. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me", and the inflection in his tone almost gives him away, prompting him to double back immediately.

The last thing he wants is for you to feel more uncomfortable than you already do. So he doesn't need you to catch on that he's got every moment of your unintended strip tease memorized. Or that he likes to replay what he's since thought of as the best 10 seconds of his life over and over again when he's fucking his fist in the shower.

“I just mean that it's nothing to be embarrassed by. It could have happened to anyone. Who among us hasn’t napped in just their birthday suit before, am I right?” he finishes with a slight wince, knowing none of this is exactly helpful.

And you know he’s only trying to be nice in his own, sweet, bumbling way but you still feel terrible.

"I don't know if I can shake this feeling", you cast your eyes down, looking too close to despondent for his liking.

"Listen I- I don't know how to fix this but I want to. Please just tell me what I can do and I'll do it, okay?"

God, he's sweet and it makes you feel a little flustered being on the receiving end of that gentle stare, needing to shift the mood lest you drown in all that earnestness pooling in his eyes.

It's moments like this that call for a bad joke to cut the tension, right? some momentary and well meaning deflection before you're ready to address the matter at hand again.

Letting out a half hearted laugh, you make your best attempt to inject some humor into the situation.

"I don't know. Maybe it might help if you got naked too", you nervously scraped your fork against the buttery graham cracker crust of your pie, dislodging a few golden crumbs.

It was so very clearly a joke. At least you had thought so. Eddie? not so much.

His brown eyes go wide, looking scandalized, his voice coming out a little more quite than you're used to.

"What?"

"I mean, I showed you mine after all", you tried again in a cadence that was wholly unserious but once again, he fails to catch on.

"You want me to get naked for you?"

You should correct him and you mean to but before you're able to do just that, something about the way he's staring at you makes you want to match his seriousness. The fact that he didn't say no right away strikes you as weirdly intriguing.

"You don't have to", you clarify, adding, "It's just that – well, you asked and I think it could maybe help? to really get us on even ground?”

The words that come out don't feel like you own – foreign to your ears even though they're said in your voice, with your own lips forming them and your own tongue curling around every syllable.

What the hell am I doing?

Eddie pauses. Seconds drag on like nails on a chalkboard as he taps a ringed finger thoughtfully on the edge of his empty plate smudged with faint traces of cream cheese and lime zest.

"Fine. On one condition", he leans back, arms crossing over his chest, smiling wide and megawatt bright.

Oh my god is this really happening?

“...Yeah?”

"You're going to undress me"

---

Part two? who knows. Certainly not I.

[firestorm09890]

there's a part of canto vi I've been thinking about since it came out, and it doesn't actually have anything to do with Heathcliff.

this

She is bitter as fuck and as time goes on she's getting worse at keeping it down. Sinclair's the one who started it, by talking about how sad it is that they'd never get to see color, and Rodya starts to get a little irritated over it (yeah, sure, pity the Backstreets folk and their poor miserable little lives, privileged nest boy), but she's obviously trying not to straight up call Sinclair a privileged nest boy because she doesn't want to. But then Yi Sang and Ishmael join in on talking about how sad this place is with no color and she just can't keep her opinion down.

But that makes the atmosphere tense, and she hates a tense atmosphere, so she changes the subject and her tone, not giving a damn about how obvious it is. also, haha, ice and cold references.

And actually, this doesn't really have much evidence to support it, but I wonder if she holds a higher level of resentment for Sinclair in particular.

Canto II had some discussion about how Rodya wishes she was special (and while I think what Sonya said about her killing the tax collector just to feel special is absolute bullshit, I do also think there is some truth to her wanting to feel special), and introduced us to the concept of The Sign in a way that was vague and more like foreshadowing than actually introducing it. Then Canto III was all about The Sign, and how special Sinclair is, and since then we've had people talking about signs and stars and a new birth of the world and it's all stuff Rodya doesn't get to be part of.

I don't think she wants to hold resentment for Sinclair, and she especially never wants him to know, but going back after all this time and rereading this one interaction with him in Canto II felt pretty jarring.

the more important part of this is the way it feels like she's making a joke at Heathcliff's expense, for being poor, like even though she's also from the Backstreets she feels she's "above" it.

She absolutely does not feel this way.

On my way to find the first passage, I reread some other interesting stuff:

Once again, there's the harsh juxtaposition between casual, fun-loving Rodya, and tired, poor man's advocate Rodya. Almost everyone on the team speaks through the lens of a Nest dweller (I have to wonder if learning that Heathcliff was apparently raised in a mansion made her even more bitter), and the way she's so short with her mention of the Sweepers makes me think she's thinking about how painfully obvious it would have been to any other Backstreets dweller. And then, right after, dropping back into her casual voice, and Sinclair revealing that Rodya used the fucked up Backstreets creature to tease him...

Other obvious moments of Rodya being bitter as hell about rich people include this part of S.E.A.

and this part of her observation logs on Spiral of Contempt (actually, nearly everything in that log that isn't about the physical abnormality has to do with how much she hates how rich people look down upon the poor)

Hong Lu's canto comes after Don's, and then after his is Ryōshū's, who, based on her source material, probably served one of the most awful, contemptuous rich people the sinners have access to, and I really hope at some point here Rodya gets to snap in a big way

...hey so I wrote this entire post at 1 in the morning and then saved it to drafts because I didn't want to post something at 1 in the morning. the Timekilling Time trailer came out about two hours later, featuring both Rodya... and the long-awaited return of the Yurodiviye. so now it's past 3 in the morning for me but I'm posting it now anyway because ohohoho seeing the Yurodiviye again has given me SO much energy

I have a feeling all this is going to be very relevant extremely soon

[strangersteddierthings]

Beg You to Love Me

"I'm surprised you even remembered, Harrington," Eddie shrugs, hoping he comes off as aloof as he wants to, instead of shaky and unsure like he feels. He was sitting atop the picnic table, arms behind him trying to look as unaffected by Steve's presence as he can, but he's been thrown for a loop ever since Steve emerged from the woods instead of Robin Buckley, like he was expecting.

"Of course, I remember. I- I've never forgotten," Steve whispers, head down and fists clenched at his sides. He looks more like a child being wrongfully scolded than a man defending himself.

The words pull a scoff from Eddie, though. Never forgotten? What the fuck ever. "Right. Something to hold over me, then, if I'd stepped too far out of line? Mutually assured destruction?"

Steve's head snaps up and he looks horrified, which Eddie will admit to almost believing. Steve doesn't seem like the type to join the drama club but his acting's pretty fucking good. "What? No! I would have never- I would never have said anything about us to anyone."

"Right. Sure. Of course. Your own reputation to think about there."

Something like hurt flashes across Steve's face before it frosts over. This is the face he's used to see on Steve. Cold and distant. "I- whatever, man. I don't even know why I thought..." but Steve doesn't finish his sentence. He just shakes his head and turns his back on Eddie, heading back the way he came.

He doesn't know why that sparks a rage from deep within him. "Yeah, that's right. Tuck tail and runaway again!"

"I ran away?" Steve shouts back, turning sharply on his heel to glare at Eddie. "You think that I ran away?"

Eddie just spreads his hands to the empty clearing as if to say 'look at all this room around me you've never occupied'. "You weren't here, were you?"

"Because you told me to not be!" Steve stomps back to Eddie but stops a couple yards away.

"Like fuck I did," Eddie argues back, because he didn't tell Steve to go away. He'd told him-

"'If this isn't good enough for you, there's the fucking door.' That's what you told me," Steve quotes, "I thought it was pretty fucking clear what you wanted."

"Yeah, I fucking thought it was clear what I wanted," Eddie snarls, lunging from the picnic table, closing those last few feet to get into Steve's face. "Yet here we are!"

"Don't act like this is my fucking fault. Like you weren't the one who forced it to be my fault. My decision-"

"Yeah, it had to be your damn decision! You were dragging it out-"

"-because you were too much of a coward to do it your-fucking-self-"

"-acting like you were. Acting too good to actually slum it with the trailer trash-"

"-so of course I made the choice that was best for me. Because I deserved more-"

"-like what I had to offer you would never be good enough for the goddman King-"

"-than just being your hookup when I wanted to be-"

"-like I wasn't good enough to be your friend, much less-"

"-your fucking boyfriend!"

"-your fucking boyfriend!"

The contrast of this sudden silence that falls following their screaming match that ends with identical sentiments is jarring. Eddie feels wrong-footed and lost. Confusion and hurt mixing in him that he can see reflected on Steve's face.

"What?" Steve is the first to break the silence, drawing into himself. Arms crossing to hold himself at the elbows as he takes several steps back, as if to be able to see all of Eddie will clear the confusion he's feeling.

Eddie just stares back, slack jawed for a moment. That's. What. No, wait. Really, what? "What what?"

"You- you said 'if this isn't good enough for you, there's the fucking door'. How was I- I thought you- you were breaking up with me!" Steve cries, "you. You said that to make me pick, because you knew I wanted more and you didn't. That's- you were breaking up with me!"

Eddie's in just as much disbelief. "No, you broke up with me! I said if this isn't good enough but, like, I meant if I wasn't good enough. And you left! You walked out because I wasn't good enough to be with you!"

Steve looks stricken and he claws harder at himself, sort of folds into himself like he's going to be sick. "No. No no no, that's- then that means I- it's all been my fault. No no no no."

Eddie stares wide-eyed and frozen as Steve talks to himself. Eddie kind of feels nauseous. There's no way that this is possible. That these last two and a half years of heartbreak have been because of miscommunication. That they both thought the other was breaking up with them and neither actually wanted to.

"Why didn't you- Why didn't you say something?" Eddie asks.

Steve laughs at that, sounding a bit hysteric. "Me!? Why didn't you! I wasn't- I wasn't going to beg you to love me like I had with my parents. You were the one who told me I shouldn't have to do that!"

Yeah. He had. When Steve had broken down and cried on his bed, in his arms, wondering what it was he had done to lose his parents' love. Eddie told him it wasn't his fault, never would be, and that he would never need to beg for love from someone who does love him. It was the same advice Wayne had given him when he'd taken Eddie in.

"I already thought you were wanting to break up. You were being so distant, I thought..."

Steve sucks in a deep breath and nods, "Yeah. Yeah I was. I was scared of scaring you away. Of being too much. Because I- what I felt for you was a lot. I was afraid I'd chase you away if I continued to be so clingy. I pulled back, to reign it in but. Fuck. Fuck!"

Eddie drops to a squat. His legs feel like jelly and he can't keep standing. He squats and looks down so his hair becomes a curtain separating him from the reality of the situation, if only for a moment. Fuck is right.

He's spent his junior and first senior year being pissed at Steve. Hurt by him and what he thought happened. And it's- if Steve's being honest, it's all been for nothing. If they both wanted a deeper relationship, they could have had it. They might still be boyfriends if Eddie hadn't been so wrapped up in his Munson Doctrine. He'd been convincing himself Steve was embarrassed of him, and was working on breaking off their- whatever they were. But he hadn't been.

He's thought such terrible things about Steve over the years. God, what has Steve thought of him over the years? No. He doesn't want to know, actually. That's not what he cares about right now.

He lifts his head to see that Steve's plopped himself onto the ground, sitting cross legged, elbows on his knees and head in his hands.

"Steve. Steve!" He calls Steve's name out until he looks up, looks at him, "why'd you come out here?"

He laughs again, slightly less hysterically, and he's shaking his head like he can't believe what he's about to say. "I. Fuck, I was coming out here to beg you to love me."

"No you fucking weren't!" his tone is filled with disbelief.

"I was," Steve repeats, sounding amused and heartbroken at the same time. "I really, really was. Graduation's coming and I know you want to get out of Hawkins the second that happens and I'm. I was running out of time trying to get you to notice me again, so I was going to beg."

Notice him again? As if Steve doesn't haunt his every waking thought. As if he doesn't dream of Steve every night while his eyes seek him across the halls and in their few shared classes like he's the goddamn night sky and Eddie is a sailor lost at sea needing the north star to guide him home. Eddie's never not noticed him, and he thinks he has to come out here and beg? "When someone loves you, you don't have to beg."

"Yeah, I know," Steve sighs, defeated, which lets Eddie know that Steve does not, in fact, know. He looks away from Eddie, down to his lap.

Fuck, it's like every fantasy Eddie's had of them making up and then making out has been handed to him on a silver platter and he's blowing it. His words are too vague, too easily misinterpreted. Again. He falls forward on to his knees, hands catching him so he's on all fours like an animal. "Steve. I mean it. You don't have to beg."

"I get it, Eddie," Steve huffs, not looking at him. Not actually understanding.

Eddie starts to crawl the distance between them. Steve looks up then, probably to see what the fuck Eddie was doing with the shuffling sounds and the chain on his belt clacking. Eddie watches Steve's eyes go wide, mouth dropping open to a small 'o'. "See, the thing is, Steve," Eddie says, pulling himself up to be just on his knees to shuffle the last few inches closer. Steve leans back to keep his eyes on Eddie's face, which opens his lap up. "You said you know, but I don't think you do." Eddie brings his hands to rest on Steve's shoulders and Steve lets him. "You don't have to beg." He uses his hold on Steve's shoulders to balance himself as he swings a leg wide, to straddle Steve, then shifts his weight to repeat the process with his other leg before settling himself into Steve's lap. Steve's hands land on his hips and Eddie isn't sure if it's intentional or a reaction to Eddie plopping himself in his laps but he's going to believe it's the first one. "You've never had to beg with me."

Steve sucks in a sharp breath and then he collapses into Eddie. Steve's hands on his hips slide up and pull him into a hug, as close to Steve's body as he can get, while Steve shoves his head under Eddie's chin, into the junction of his neck and shoulder and breaths him in like it's the last breath Steve will ever take. "We're so stupid."

"Yeah," Eddie agrees, as he lifts one hand to hold the back of Steve's head while the other drops to rub soothingly at his back. "Yeah, we are."

They sit in the dirt, the closest they've been since that summer between '81 and '82. They should probably talk about. They're going to have to, if they want this to work. Full sentences with no hidden meanings, even though the thought of that kind of vulnerability makes Eddie skittish. It's going to be difficult, but it'll be worth it. Steve has always been worth it.

Eddie wants to say 'I love you', just to get it out, in the open, and not just implied, but there's a different first step to take. One that's actually a little easier. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Me too," Steve whispers, "I'm sorry. I should have-"

"Shut up," Eddie cuts him off, voice quiet and soft as he can be. "This is, and I cannot stress it enough, a we situation."

The huff of laughter on his skin from Steve feels like the start of something. A new beginning, a start over. A re-do.

A goddamn miracle.

Later, they'll drag themselves apart and up. Make it to the back of Eddie's van in the school parking lot to talk. Going to either's house feel too much, too soon. Their big fight happened at Eddie's home, and Steve's house isn't warm enough for the kind of comfort they want to share.

They'll have a talk. Filled with long pauses, stumbling over words and fears and insecurities because this is the hard part of a relationship. Getting it all out in the open so they can learn if they'll even work. The fear that they aren't going to be compatible anymore looms but doesn't deter. They both want a second chance, to give it a real shot, by the end of that first talk. But taking it slow.

They'll discuss what went wrong the first time (diving in without talking about anything certainly played a big part) and how to avoid that.

But that's later. Right now, Eddie just holds Steve, and Steve holds him back, and it certainly feels like the beginning of something good.

-

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems

[munsonsprincess11111]

It wasn't even a secret...

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: you and Eddie are married even have a new born. But thr younger hellfire members don't know?

Dustin Henderson walks into the munson trailer and hears loud music coming from Eddie's room. He approaches the room and through the crack of the door and sees a manicured hand grabbing at Eddie's bedside table only to see Eddie's not ringed hand grab it and pull it out of sight.

That's all he saw, but he got the point and left the trailer and sat in Eddie's van, which he never locked until he saw the lady exit.

But what Dustin didn't see was your wedding ring on top of Eddie's on the bedside table.

-

Months later Dustin was washing his hands in the munson bathroom when he threw the paper towel in the trash he saw a pregnancy test. It was positive. Dustin didn't mention it to Eddie or anyone thinking it was probably private.

What Dustin didn't see was how Eddie hugged you when the test came back positive as you both cried happy tears and kissed sweetly.

-

Months later Dustin and Mike approach the hellfire table and notice Eddie's not there. Weird they thought he wanted to graduate this year why would he be having time off.

"Where's Eddie?" Dustin asked setting his tray down. Gareth looks at Dustin and frowns. "What do you mean where's Eddie you know he isn't gonna be in for A few weeks." Gareth says confused.

Only then do Gareth, Doug and Jeff realise they genuinely do not know. They wasn't gonna be the ones to tell him so that's how they ended up at Eddie munson trailer skipping school.

Eddie was fast asleep an arm draped over you. He awoke suddenly to banging on the door cursing under his breath. He stands up and stretched kissing your head and peaking into the bassinet next to your side of the bed, only to see his week old daughter starring up at him with her wide brown eyes.

"Hey little lady." HE says picking her up making sure to support her head. He cradles her and heads to the door to let you sleep a bit longer. He walks into the kitchen and puts the kettle on to warm a bottle for his daughter haley. Then he walks to the front door expecting Wayne or someone.

Only to be met with a stunned Dustin and Mike. "Hello?" Eddie says confused. He let's them in as they stare at him in shock. "Whats going on guys?" Eddie asked slightly freaked out hy the look on the twos face.

"You have a baby?!" Dustin half yells.

"Dude shut the fuck up." Eddie says annoyed bouncing his daughter slightly so she doesn't cry from Dustins outburst.

"No I won't you have a baby and you didn't tell us what the fuck." Dustin half yells again.

Eddie looks between the boys with a look of confusion on his face. You walk out of your bedroom into the living room after hearing all the shouting.

"What's going on?" You ask crossing your arms over your chest. Both the teens and Eddie look at you. Your stood confused. Haley then cries and everyone looks at her.

Eddie walks over to you sliding her into your arms and she immediately stops crying as you bounce her and cradle her making soft shh noises. "Whose that's?" Mike askes Eddie's attention turning from you and haley to the two teens but you speak up. "His wife." You answer looking at the two boys

"You have a baby and a wife. How didn't we know that." Dustin says eyes wide.

"OK everyone stop, fuck me. Right. I thought you two knew but clearly you don't. This is my wife y/n who I've definitely told you about. The one I've been dating since I was like 15 and am now married to?" Eddie says waving his arms infant of you as you smile.

"OH we thought that was a cruel joke." Mike says scratching his head. Eddie looks at the boys in disbelief.

"Wow OK. This is y/n and my daughter haley who I'm gonna go with you also thought was a joke." Eddie says questionably getting nods from the boys.

"Y/n this is Dustin and Mike." Eddie says pointing at the boys rubbing his eyes.

"Hi nice to meet you?" You say still confused.

The boys says hello awkwardly.

"OK, now that's cleared up. Is that really why you came here." Eddie asks, slightly annoyed. The boys nod and explain that Gareth wouldn't tell them. You're starring at Eddie, who's clearly stressed and tired. Then, down to the little baby in your arms.

Eddie warms a baby bottle while the two teens talk to Eddie about the baby as you sit on the couch in the living room. He walks in handing you the warm bottle. "Can you feed her?" You ask quietly. But Eddie hears you.

"Yeh, yeh of course sweetheart." Eddie says sitting on the couch. You pass her to Eddie once he's sat along with her bottle kissing Eddie's cheek then haleys head before walking to your bedroom to get stuff for A shower.

"SO you like have a child." Dustin says watching Eddie feed his daughter the bottle.

"Yes and a wife." Eddie answers.

"And you've been married..." Mike says

"2 years been together for 5." Eddie says, setting the bottle by his feet, leaning back on the couch and laying the baby on his chest, gently patting her back.

"And the others knew." Dustin says as Eddie nods.

"How long are you off school?" Mike askes.

"I'm just going back to do my finals. I won't be there any other time." Eddie says as the tiny baby burps. The two nod.

Moments later you walk back in, wearing a pyjama vest and Eddie's sweats. Your stomach has shrunk since the birth of haley and it makes Eddie smile seeing you comfortable enough to wear the vest as when she was first born you wouldn't take off his hoodie.

Not that it mattered to Eddie he loved you every shape and form and you grew his baby in you. When you mentioned your insecurity to Eddie just before haley was born he comforted you and said, "either way your sexy no matter what n you've got me. If.. that helps? Probably not but you get my gist."

You sat next to Eddie and he handed you haley. "Common ill take you two home no point in going back to school." Eddie says. He too the teens to Dustin house and then came straight home.

He entered thr trailer and headed to your bedroom to see haley asleep on your shared bed and you sat up looking at her giving Eddie a smile when he entered the room. Eddie strips of everything but his boxers.

"Now give me a twirl." You says smiling at him from the bed.

He turns slowly as you clap quietly before laying on his side next to you. "SO those are two of your friends?" You say raising your brows and Eddie nods putting an arm over your waist.

Eddie looks at you then to his daughter and smiles. Taking your hand and kissing it. You lean down and kiss him on the lips.

"I love you." HE says as your foreheads touch.

"I love you too."

"I love you more."

"I love you most." You smirk kissing him again.

Yeah Eddie was a happy man. He may still be in school but he's got everything he wants Sat right on his bed. His beautiful wife and tiny daughter.

-

Months later he graduated walking off the stage hugging you nice and tight laying a sweet kiss on your lips. Wayne holding 3 month old haley who's arm where flapping for Eddie. He took her from Wayne kissing her nose as she open mouthed his cheek.

The stunned look on Jason's face to see Eddie munson holding a baby in one arm with his hair and his other arm around your waist as your hand was behind haleys head. Eddie smirked to himself kissing your head. Wayne shooting him a proud smile and nod. The others soon came running over. "Finally man thought you was gonna end up going to school with haley." Gareth says smirking at Eddie.

"Shut up Gareth." You says earning a laugh out of Eddie.

"Y/n I'm wounded." Gareth says shocked.

"You heard the lady shut up." Eddie says smirking.

Gareth rolls his eyes.

Everyone stands and talks. Eddie saying haley needs feeding so you guys have to go. In reality you had fed her before and Eddie just wanted to go home.

"I am so proud of you." You say kissing his cheek.

"Yeah? Do I get a special treat for how proud you are." Eddie smirks.

"Maybe... you'll see when haleys in bed." You say smirking at him running a hand through haleys curls.

Yeah Eddie was right. 86 was definitely his year.

[kickbackkanzaki]

The Dungeon Master and Chess Queen

You're the new student and chess captain at Hawkins High. When Eddie Munson asks you for tutoring you're certain you have him handled but you may have underestimated his strategy.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Warnings: Smut (18+), drinking, drug use, mention of past assault, physical altercation, unprotected intercourse (p in v), swearing, possessive/toxic traits, rough sex.

Eddie slipped the final joint into line with its brothers then closed the cassette tape cover. Usually when he made the sojourn to the community college he would take an entire bag of product but this trip was social.

A friend of yours was performing in a concert this weekend and had invited you up for the night. You and Eddie had done a few day trips when you'd played a competition or needed a break from Hawkins but this was the first overnighter and Wayne felt compelled to be avuncular.

"Remember what I told you," he'd advised Eddie that morning when he'd returned from shift.

"I wont screw up," Eddie assured him.

Ever since the dinner date Wayne had been reminding Eddie to be smart with you. He didn't want to see a repeat of his brother's mistakes or a nephew with a broken heart.

The unmistakeable sound of the rusty Mustang in low gear came through the window so Eddie tossed the cassette tape into his duffel bag and headed for the door.

He was down the stairs before you had a chance to knock and twirled you in a hug.

"Ready to hit the road baby?" he asked enthusiastically after a kiss. "I brought the tunes."

"Robin's shotgun," you explained and started for the parked car, "so she picks the music. You can hang in the back with her friend."

Eddie peered through the rear window and identified the passenger by his hair.

"Is that Steve Harrington?"

"Yep. Robin says he's a good hang so I let him take the empty seat."

"I thought Red was coming?"

The original plan for the weekend was to include Max to show her the good things that came after high school. To prove the cliques and conformity she endured now would end after senior year.

"She was but her Mum heard 'community college' and said 'Hell No.' She thinks we'll be fornicating and getting high all weekend," you explained with some disappointment.

"Not all weekend surely?" Eddie quipped and smacked your arse playfully.

"I'll give you meal breaks," you said charitably and winked before opening the driver's door.

Eddie tossed his duffel in the boot smirking then jumped in the back seat.

"Hey man," Steve greeted him with a friendly nod and Eddie grunted in response.

From what he remembered of Harrington he was a popular jock working his way through the girls and tormenting the nerds. Not exactly someone he wanted to road trip with.

Still it was your Mustang so you made the rules.

"What's the plan baby?" Eddie asked so he didn't have to make small talk with Steve.

"We'll meet my pal then Robin wants to look over their Art program and it might be worth talking to their Intake Department for Steve," you ran through the loose itinerary as the car rolled past the neighbouring trailers.

"What about you?" Steve asked.

"She's going to Ivy League," Robin told him before putting on a pop tape that made Eddie cringe.

You laughed blithely at that remark before you replied.

"I'm a chess player, we don't go to college. We drink yourselves to death or blow our brains out before thirty."

"Which way are you leaning?" Steve asked a little unnerved by your morbidity.

"Maybe both."

"Seriously, you're not looking at any colleges?"

"The idea doesn't really appeal," you answered with honesty. "All I've ever done is school. It might be refreshing to do something different."

"Well minimum wage isn't fun is all I'm saying," Steve remarked and let the topic drop.

Eddie looked out the window so no one could see his little smile of triumph. Your lack of college plans was good news for him.

Since your wild night at the playground Eddie had been formulating his plan to leave Hawkins with you. He knew you were too logical to just hit the road without a map and the five hundred in his account wouldn't stretch far so he'd been brainstorming a sound strategy.

Corroded Coffin were dedicated to their Tuesdays at the Hideout but the other members were being ushered towards further study and employment by their parents. If the band was going to continue after this year it would be because Eddie used their homemade banner for a new formation in a bigger city.

He'd looked into chess tournaments too. Not all of them offered big prize money but most states held an annual one and if you both squeezed your pennies maybe you could fly on a budget airfare to compete internationally. You were good enough.

Some unskilled employment would be necessary until he cracked the music scene, no band ever got their break overnight, but Eddie was willing to endure it if it gave him a shot.

The alternative was playing it safe by staying in Hawkins and he'd seen what this town did to its lifetime residents. Slowly sucked the soul out of them until Tupperware parties and work picnics became social highlights.

He knew you'd have hesitations about leaving your dad but Eddie bargained if he could catch you in a good enough mind space you'd agree.

Someone with your overcalculating brain needed the excitement of a party, a joint and a decent bottle of wine to throw caution to the wind and jump on the Munson bandwagon.

So he needed this weekend to go without a hitch to prove the two of you could survive together.

You and Robin chatted for most of the ninety minute drive while the backseat boys lapsed into an easy chill. Having no common ground they didn't attempt conversation watching the passing landscape instead.

The Mustang slowed to suburban speeds as your destination neared and you peered at the house numbers until you found what you sought.

You parked outside an honest but unloved house and lead the group onto the veranda where you rang the bell.

A gorgeous Viking opened the door and crushed you against his naked torso so tightly your spine popped. He had an anvil for a jawline, long black hair tied in a ponytail and bulging muscles tattooed with rune symbols.

You both made noises of delight and animated chatter while the other three stared dumbfounded until you remembered they were there.

"Trav these are my friends Robin and Steve," you pointed to each in turn and Travis gave them both bone crunching hugs. "Guys this is my friend Travis."

You then put your hand in Eddie's and pulled him closer to your older friend like a child scared to approach a pony at the fair.

"This is my boyfriend Eddie," you introduced him and Eddie thrust his hand out before he could be hugged.

"Hello mate," Travis said jovially and shook Eddie's hand with an enthusiasm that wasn't returned.

Eddie took in the six and a half feet of sculpted muscles, perfect smile and bright blue eyes and decided he disapproved. Eddie didn't like being dwarfed, outmatched or upstaged and in under a minute Travis had done all three.

Your entire focus was on Travis as he invited his guests in and sat them in the kitchen while he prepared refreshments.

So you didn't notice Eddie's eyes studying your expression for any hint of amor or collusion as you chatted.

"Not to love ya and leave ya but I gotta throw a shirt on and get to class," Travis said after he'd prepped the hot drinks and passed around a pack of biscuits. "I'll leave a set of keys for you guys by the door, mi casa es su casa."

"Thanks Trav," you said and he patted your back before leaving the kitchen. "We'll see you at the concert."

It was decided after tea you'd walk to the campus and check out the art exhibition after nominating Steve to clear the dishes. The clean air and pleasant walk after the long drive supplied some natural endorphins and in your good mood you assumed Eddie's tight grip on your hand was affection.

"I thought you said Travis was a chess friend?" Eddie finally spoke when you were wandering around the student gallery half an hour later.

"No we met at a tournament his friend was playing at," you corrected absently and tilted your head at the canvas you were examining.

"Then what?" Eddie pushed.

His surliness was unusual so you peeled your eyes from the painting to give him a concerned look.

"You ok?"

"Fine. Tell me about Travis," Eddie demanded.

"I had some trouble and Trav helped me out," you said simply.

Had Eddie been thinking clearly he would have noticed your elusiveness but he wasn't.

He was jealous.

"Did he help you with his penis?"

A few feet away Steve and Robin ducked behind a sculpture like infantrymen sheltering from an incoming explosive.

Your eyes bulged in disbelief and rounded on Eddie like a dueller about to fire.

"What the fuck did you just say?" your low hiss was scarier than any shout could have been and Eddie knew he'd irrecoverably fucked up.

"I'm sorry," Eddie thought apologising quickly placate you. "I shouldn't have asked that."

"Too fucking right!" your voice was rising with outrage and a few gallery goers looked your way. "I don't ask where your genitals have been but you assume I whore around with my friends! Get fucked Munson!"

Eddie reached for you but you threw your hands up in warning and he withdrew.

"Do me a favour," you dropped your voice back to the angry hiss to avoid a spectacle. "Keep the fuck away from me."

You stormed off to the ceramics display and Eddie stayed rooted to the floor. Robin and Steve cautiously crept out of their shelter and after a second of surveying Robin followed you.

Steve hung back and looked at Eddie with an expression that articulated his predicament.

He was screwed.

"Give her a minute," Steve advised and Eddie obeyed. Listening to someone else might serve him better than his own judgement right now.

You shunned Eddie for the rest of the afternoon and whenever he got close he could feel an aura of rage radiating from your skin. Robin stuck to your side trying to distract you with campus highlights and light conversation but you'd always lapse back into brooding.

Steve didn't force Eddie to talk but kept a close orbit around the metalhead incase he had to prevent a doomed reconciliation attempt. No matter how repentant Eddie might be feeling, there would be no successful peace negotiations until you were in a gentler temper.

Travis' concert was held that night at the campus bar where the staff didn't ask Steve for an ID when he ordered a round of drinks. Travis found an empty table for your party then went backstage, if he'd seen the Berlin Wall erected between yourself and Eddie he didn't say so.

Much to everyone's surprise when Travis reappeared he was carrying a cello and followed by three other string musicians. Eddie and Steve swapped a look of dismay bracing themselves for a boring night of classical symphony when Eddie recognised the first few bars.

"Is that?" Steve asked in his ear.

"Ride the Lightning," Eddie answered as his interest perked.

He looked over and saw you watching the quartet with undivided attention as you sipped your wine. Your interest in metal music was only passing despite Eddie's attempts to covert you so friend or not, you wouldn't drive two hours to listen to Metallica covers.

Unless it was for someone else.

'Fuck,' Eddie groaned mentally realising the whole weekend had been set up for him.

While he'd been orchestrating his own plans to convince you into leaving Hawkins you'd been planning your own surprise. Remorse turned the beer in Eddie's throat bitter and he made a pinched face like someone had booted him in the guts.

Eddie reached for the hand resting in your lap and braced himself for a possible violent reaction.

You permitted the touch and squeezed his long fingers before letting them drop. You were mellowing but still bearing a grudge.

Still, Eddie thought as a little ember started to glow, there was hope.

Later that night Travis and his housemate Samantha brought half the bar back to the house to continue the music and libations. His cello rested in the living room corner while he chatted to you on the couch where you sipped a glass of red.

Eddie had passed around the joints from his cassette case then retreated to the kitchen where he could watch the party from the counter.

Robin was sitting on some beanbags with Samantha and her friends from the college's feminist group while Steve slipped in and out of groups.

Steve was at total ease, parties were one of the few settings he excelled in. He made his way around the living room pitching in on strangers' conversations here and there and making people laugh.

"You're like Norman Bates man," he said retrieving more beer from the fridge. "Stop spying and go talk to her."

"Do you think it's safe?" Eddie asked glumly. He had decided to stop hating Steve on the principal of being a popular jock.

"I don't think she'll kill you with so many witnesses," Steve answered in his unique brand of wisdom. "Though I can't for the life of me understand why you said what you did."

"I was jealous," Eddie confessed miserably and flicked a pretzel across the counter passive aggressively. "I took one look at Travis with his Calvin Klein good looks and freaked. I couldn't stand the idea she might want someone better than a weed dealing failure."

"Jealously is a powerful thing my man," Steve adopted a sage tone and clasped Eddie's shoulder. "One minute you're climbing in a girl's bedroom window and the next you're defacing a movie theatre with spray paint."

"Dude that sounds oddly specific," Eddie gave his mentor an odd look.

"Never mind," Steve said shaking his head. "My point is jealously makes you do dumb things. Just go and apologise before she realises she can do better."

"Maybe she has done better."

"Travis?" Steve asked with a little surprise. "Nah you're safe man."

"How do you know?"

"She and Robin were talking about it at the bar when they thought I couldn't hear," Steve opened the cutlery draw and dug around until he found a bottle opener. "After some big chess thing a bunch of players were partying and this creep from MIT couldn't take the hint to piss off. Travis caught the arsehole sleazing all over your girl and threw him out a closed window. It was a ground level apartment but still, pretty bad arse."

Eddie wasn't sure if he could loathe himself anymore than he did in that moment. Not only had he colossally screwed up with you but he'd spent the whole day hating a great guy.

He covered his face with his large hands and groaned into them to vent his humiliation. Steve was right, he had to apologise even if you didn't forgive him. It was the right thing to do.

Across the room you'd somehow gone from discussing Travis' pharmacology studies to Russians.

"All their athletes are pumped up on performance drugs, why do you think they boycotted the last Olympics?" Travis asked conspiratorially.

"Numerous political and cultural tensions with the rest of the world?" you suggested trying not smile at his conspiracy theories.

"Because their piss glows. Here I made you a sample for your next big match."

Travis pushed a tiny bottle full of white powder into your palm and you peered at it confused. Your house was full of your father's medications but none of them were unmarked or sold in doses this small.

"What is this?" you asked suspiciously.

"I don't have a name for it yet but I put it together from some old wartime amphetamine recipes," Travis said with pride. "This shit can get you off your back to charge a tank with six bullets in your chest, just rub some on your gums."

"This has what to do with chess exactly?" you asked with increasing concern.

"A bit of this and you'll be thinking faster than any super computer," Travis promised and tapped his nose.

"I can't caught with this shit!" you hissed pushing the untested substance back into his hand. "I'll be playing chess for smokes in prison!"

"Just keep it," Travis' massive hand closed around yours. "Payment for the joints your boyfriend brought. You just might need a boost next tournament."

"What joints?" you asked and suddenly the supplier appeared.

"Hey man," Travis held out his hand and this time Eddie took it amicably.

"Just wanted to say that was some bad arse playing tonight," he said with sincere respect. "I didn't think you would shred a cello like that."

"Mozart taught me to play but it was Metallica who taught me to rock," Travis said and stood up. "Take a seat buddy and I'll bring you a new one."

Eddie let him take the empty bottle from his hand and Travis wove his way through the crowd to the kitchen. You had found something in the opposite direction to look at and Eddie knew he was still in trouble.

"Can I sit?" he asked tentatively.

"Sure," you grumbled.

You were stuck with him until you got back to Hawkins so might as well keep it civil until then.

Eddie sat on the vacated couch cushion and kept a polite ten centimeter gap between you like a couple of church kids. He hated not being able to pull you under his arm like when you watched TV at his place but he couldn't force your forgiveness.

Desperate for a way in he looked over the strange wooden board on the coffee table. It was covered in tiny black and white tiles that made a pattern Eddie couldn't figure.

"This looks pretty cool, what is it?" he asked as he ran this fingers through a pot of small round tiles.

"Igo, ancient Asian game. It's about taking territory."

Your answer was snappy but at least you were talking to him.

"Is it as hard as chess?"

"Harder."

"Trav seems like a cool dude," Eddie took a bold leap into sensitive territory and braced himself.

He was afraid if you looked at him with the withering contempt you had in the gallery he'd melt from the inside out.

"You guys have a lot in common that's why I wanted you to meet," you said bluntly and finally looked at him.

Eddie could see you were tired, which could have been the wine, but he suspected you were drained from the fury you'd been carrying all day.

He hated being the cause of that. You'd been so relieved and upbeat to be free of Hawkins and your incumbrances for a little while and he'd set it all ablaze.

"You could have just told me about the creep trying to get into your pants," Eddie said gently.

"Gee, sorry I didn't want to recall attempted rape," you replied sarcastically as an old hurt burned. "It was kind of horrifying."

Just mentioning the experience made you smell the nauseating aftershave the fucker had lathered himself in and feel his bruising fingers ripping your tights.

When you'd robbed him of his championship title he'd tried to seduce you but when that failed he figured forcing you would prove his superiority.

"You're right, you're right I'm an arsehole, sorry," Eddie could see he was distancing you again and apologised to keep you close.

"You're not an arsehole Eddie you just don't think," you groaned exasperated and rubbed your forehead. "I honestly don't know what's gotten into you today. It's not like you to be so moody and nasty."

"Being in love with you makes me stupid."

Your neck nearly snapped it whipped around so fast.

"I can rephrase that!" Eddie blurted and poised himself to tackle you in case you ran.

"Don't. Don't say anything."

All you could do was stare horrified. Your brain was flying faster than a master's chess game as you tried to comprehend what Eddie had just told you. Maybe you'd misheard or his humour had degraded into poor taste?

No, he'd meant what he'd said. Eddie's eyes could never hide the truth.

"Can I top you up?"

Travis had returned holding a beer in one hand and a wine bottle in the other.

"Leave the bottle," you ordered without taking your eyes off Eddie.

"Ok," Travis said very slowly and retreated to the safety of other friends.

"I fucked up," Eddie just didn't have the good sense to stay quiet. "Tell me how I put this right baby."

The world had just tilted and you needed a crutch until you could untangle the mess in your brain. Something you could control.

"I want to play chess."

"Yep."

Eddie ran out to the car and got your travel board, you never left home without a chess set. His fingers fumbled the pieces multiple times when he tried to set them up so you snatched them away and arranged them like you were on autopilot.

You said nothing the rest of the night, not to Eddie, not to anyone. Your ruthless slaughter of Eddie and other unwitting opponents attracted a crowd but you hardly noticed your head was such a swirl.

At some point the liquor ran out and Travis' friends headed home leaving your travelling party to retire.

"Ok Steve you're on the couch, Robin you're sharing with Samantha and you two lovers can have the mattress in the laundry. Good night all."

Travis gave a yawn with an exhausted wave and your friends exchanged weary goodnights going their separate ways. Eddie took you under his arm guiding you towards the laundry where Travis had thrown some spare pillows and blankets on an old mattress.

You still hadn't spoken but your friends had assumed it was down to the long emotional day and booze. Eddie suspected you were too addled by his confession to construct anything sensible so let you be and started stripping once the door closed.

"How dare you," your sudden voice was low and full of accusation.

Eddie stopped mid undress and fixed on you like an animal cornered by a hunter.

"How dare you say I love you like that."

"Baby what's wrong?" Eddie let his shirt fall to the ground and stood straight to assess you. It wasn't like yourself to get aggressive without provocation.

"Isn't it enough to stay how we are?" you demanded and in a rush pinned him to the wall by his shoulders. "Why are you trying to ruin it all?"

Eddie caught your hands and flattened them against his chest so you couldn't gouge him.

"You selfish fucker!" you spat and tried to pull away but Eddie held you tight.

Your sudden violence scared him and had to stop before you woke the whole house. If the others saw you like this they'd call the paramedics to pump your stomach or sedate you.

Eddie dropped his knees on the mattress and tugged at your captive wrists. You resisted but he engaged a strength he never used making you fall forward.

"Cut this out!" Eddie growled as you tried to knock him sideways with your shoulder.

Using his long legs to his advantage Eddie straddled you using his weight to pin you in place.

"Cut it out now!" he repeated as you bucked against his pelvis and he pulled your wrists apart to pin them along your sides.

You felt like a beached fish with no limbs to help you escape. You grit your teeth and thrashed under his weight ignoring his pleas for calm.

Eddie was growing desperate, he would never hurt you but nothing he said was getting through. It was like you'd gone somewhere beyond reason and could only communicate with force.

He had to snap you out of this mania but he didn't have cold water to throw and refused to slap you. A primal solution came to Eddie and before thinking it through bit your neck with something close to a snarl.

You yelped and kicked your legs in response. Eddie had left hickeys on you before and you'd given him a fair share but the ferocity was new.

The million screaming thoughts firing through your brain like lubricated machine gun rounds suddenly silenced and your skin flushed hot as if his bite had injected a drug.

Your brilliant grandmaster mind devolved under the force of Eddie's teeth and a single undeniable need roared for fulfillment.

"Ravage me," you gasped with ferocity.

Eddie obeyed without hesitation.

He released the raw skin from between his teeth and let go of your wrists so he could pull your pants open. His cock had grown rock hard against your struggling arse and his stoked temper made his hands rough.

Your jeans and underwear came down in one pull and you spread your knees as Eddie hastily undid his belt. He hit the tumble drier with his foot in an attempt to kick his pants off then left them caught around his left foot.

The wine had made you wet and the beer made him sensitive so you both cried out when you connected. Who gave a fuck if everyone heard?

Without a latex shield you could feel every contour along the gentle curve of Eddie's cock. You held yourself tight to imprint his shape against your walls and heard him growl approvingly.

Eddie held you still for a few moments while you revelled in the sensation of fulfillment and he stayed in the bliss of you warm wetness. Without the condom he imagined you both blending together inside you as if your warm, sensitive skin was permeable.

What you were doing was reckless and beyond stupid but between the alcohol and emotional distress neither of you were thinking with your brains.

"Bad girl," Eddie grunted and reached under your shirt, his nails making red lines in your skin.

Your breasts comically fell out of their cups as Eddie unclipped the bra catch and roughly pushed your clothes over your head. His dry guitarist's hands squeezed the mounds possessively and you turned your head to nip a tattoo on his arm.

Eddie's right hand abandoned your breast and pulled your hair hard making you loosen your bite. A slight trepidation passed over you at his unusual roughness and you tried to reclaim control by disconnecting.

But Eddie wasn't having it.

You felt his palms move to your hips and he pulled you back against him hard. Your slickness lubricated the thrust but the sudden slam yanked a startled gasp out of you.

"You're not going anywhere," Eddie commanded in a dark voice.

His hand found your hair again and he wound the strands around his fingers like reins before thrusting into you again. You fell onto your forearms and the new angle allowed both of you to slip a fraction deeper into bliss.

Eddie pounded into you hard and fast holding you prisoner by your hair. Your mouth hung open in silent exclamation as you locked your lungs to stop the screams that would wake the house.

Eddie's face was contorted into a mad mix of anger and delight. Biting a corner of his lip his eyes narrowed on your swinging breasts like hypnotic bells. Sensually he was alive with pleasure but the anguish of your rejection and the long day of extreme emotions had him furious.

You were holding your lower abdomen tight but being so wet you practically had no control over Eddie's cock. Not that you cared, you needed every inch of his length to pound the chaos out your brain and the brutalness of his grip to ground you in the moment.

Eddie knew he wasn't going to last. Your wet pussy and absence of protection were living up to his most erotic dreams but even in his most carnal state he was still a gentleman.

You had to come first.

His hold on your hips vanished and he slipped an arm under you before forcing you flat on the mattress. You made a noise of surprise and tried to look around but Eddie's cheek flattened against yours before you could see an explanation.

You could smell the beer and pretzels on his breath and feel rough stubble along his jawline. Under you his hand was moving into your wet folds while his cock piledrived you from behind.

His weight was crushing and you nearly protested when his finger found your bud and you started to whine.

The double sensation in your vagina was overpowering and the alcohol in you system had every nerve alight to receive the pleasure.

You started making the noise Eddie had come to know and he threw the last of what he had into you as you came.

"I love you so much and I just want you to fucking love me back!" Eddie panted on his final thrusts then pulled out without warning.

You felt something warm spill down your thigh then Eddie collapsed on top of you. An inelegant groan escaped as his weight pushed the air out your lungs and you used your elbow to shift him just enough to breathe.

His long arms enveloped you and you intertwined your fingers with his. Until your facilities recovered touch was the only form of expression you had.

Eddie's long hair was sticking to your sweaty skin and his breath felt hot against your neck but you were comforted by the wild thudding you could feel in his chest.

Sometimes you needed to abandon intellect to communicate clearly.

"I know you don't feel the same way but I had to say it, I was going crazy," Eddie finally mumbled into your shoulder and he kissed the salty skin there.

"It's all right. I love you too."

Eddie stiffened against you when you said that and you were equally surprised. The words had come to you as easily as saying, "Checkmate."

"Don't say it if it's not true," Eddie's voice was kind but there was a warning to it.

"It's true," you affirmed and squeezed his hand a little tighter. "It terrifies me but it's true."

"Don't be scared baby I'm gonna look after you," Eddie promised and kissed your temple before sliding off you.

He dug around in a laundry hamper for a second then pulled out a towel and inelegantly clean his mess off your leg. He'd never done that on anyone before and was glad you hadn't freaked.

The sex had been amazing, no wonder everyone hated wearing condoms but he couldn't shake a nagging in the back of his mind. One that wouldn't fully go away until the next time he made you a hot water bottle and a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

The sweat on your skin was drying and made you shiver. Eddie pulled up the covers and held you against him tightly.

The buzz of orgasm was fading but he felt a new elation as he stroked the plastered hair from your forehead and kissed you goodnight.

The weight of his secret was vanquished and he'd been restored by your words.

You loved him. You, a sexy, intelligent, foul mouthed, fiesty chess queen loved him. Fuck whatever happened next.

You loved him.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

I've been thinking a lot about expectations this week.

A number of years ago, when I was visiting my brother, he criticized me for not doing something that he expected me to do. It was a frustrating talk because he wasn't at all willing to hear my perspective. But what bothered me the most about it was when I said "you can just ask" and he said "I shouldn't have to".

I was doing everything culturally expected of a good guest, I didn't even know what his extra expectations were, and yet he felt entitled to be mad at me for not automatically knowing them, and not living up to them.

It can be so easy for us to let our expectations get ahead of us, to make assumptions based on our own perspectives, and to then feel let down.

And I feel like I'm seeing a lot of this kind of thing in people's experience with media these days. There seems to be a clash happening between expectations and reality. And people feeling genuinely upset when the reality is not what they wanted.

I'm seeing a lot of complaints and "critiques" that seem to fall in to the category of "this is not how I personally want this to go" or "this doesn't resonate with my personal experience".

To be clear, I'm not saying this in a pointing fingers kind of way, because I have 100% done it myself.

When the trailer for Cutie Pie first came out, I got so excited imagining Kuea as some bad boy living a double life. He was going to be so hard to tame, he was going to put Lian through the wringer, and it was going to be amazing.

What I got was something very different from what I expected, and I struggled with the show.

But it was a really valuable learning moment for me. Because everything in the trailer was in the series. It was my interpretation of it, of those few minutes out of hours of material, my assumptions about the moments not yet shown, that caused me frustration.

That was a turning point in my "let's see where the journey takes us" philosophy. And I have to say, engaging in QL has been a hell of a lot more fun since I learned to let go of what I thought should happen.

I still have critiques of shows, of course I do. Nothing is above criticism. But I don't get so personally affronted now when something doesn't do what I expect. I'm more willing to see where the destination takes us before I decide the journey isn't working.

Of course I am still human, and I still get caught off guard sometimes by expectations I didn't realize I had let slip in.

But I have found my experience immeasurably improved by considering a few things when I'm watching a series:

Am I leading with curiosity, or judgment?

What is happening here culturally? What assumptions am I making based on my own background and country of origin? What happens if I step back and look at the bigger picture of how this culture engages with media? Do I even know, or do I have more to learn?

Is this actually bad... or is it just not for me? Is this just not resonating with me? Is it making me uncomfortable? What can this discomfort tell me about myself? Is it a bad show, or just a show I need to walk away from?

Am I more focused on the story I want told, and not paying enough attention to the story that the creators of the series want to tell? What assumptions am I making about their intent?

Am I only focused on what the value is for me as an individual, and not considering how this may be making other people feel seen or be meeting their needs? Can I acknowledge that there can be inherent value in things that do not give value to me personally?

There is value in critique, but there is also importance in self-reflection and understanding why we are feeling the way that we are, and when our own setting of expectations may be playing a role.

It's funny that in some ways this seems to be a reflection of what a golden age of QL we are living in - there are so many options, and time is so scarce, that I can see why people are frustrated when they feel like a show is not living up to what they wanted.

But as someone who has lived multiple decades without this kind of media, and only relatively recently having been able to experience it...there is a lot more to be gained by reveling in what you are loving than over what you are hating.

[jmdbjk]

Make assumptions and get the wrong idea. Please. That's what he said.

My brain listening to Who:

(on the beat of course)

Sorry for the brain porn but that's how my brain feels when I hear Jimin's vocals. The runs, the ad libs, the highs, lows, and in-betweens, the breathing, especially the breathing. Especially in the 4K version of the Tonight Show performance posted on BangtanTV.

For many years now I've been wanting to hear Jimin let 'er rip on a big song and FINALLY! FINALLY!

FINALLY!

I started to jot down my interpretations of Who but you know what? no one needs yet another analyzation of the song, the lyrics, the MV, the belt sharing, the ... but one thing I need to point out... Ryan's Vintage Clothes is definitely a nod to Ryan Gosling don't you think? (just kidding sorta)

A ton of people have given their dissertations on what they think it all means. All I know is Jimin has that MAGIC and he is FLEXING big time.

This is my favorite shot from the most recent promo image drop on Weverse. I have always dissented when Jimin would say his left side is his best side. No sir. It's your right side.

The entire Muse album is a complete mind-bender for me. He came up with the ideas and themes and what he couldn't do on his own, he explained to all the people helping him in order to create his vision...

PDogg said this in an interview: "I also believe the experience of collaborating with various producers and songwriters in LA and NY gave Jimin the opportunity to further explore his limitless potential."

Minseong Kim (Performance Director): "When we were working together, I saw Jimin putting a lot of thought into delivering the song's choreography as a visual art form. He uses his detailed expressions to convey various artistic elements in the performance beyond simply presenting stylish, energetic choreography. He is always devoted to emphasizing the artistic elements of the performance by forming a visceral connection to it. I believe that his commitment and passion has shaped Jimin's unique style and allows him to deliver one of the most exciting performances in pop music."

and:

"We had countless discussions about how to visually articulate the story and message of the song through the performance on a larger scale, in a manner that's true to the song's title Who. When the choreography was completed Jimin was utterly pleased with the performance having all the elements he had wished to incorporate."

You can read the entire VMAGAZINE article here.

Regarding the other songs on the album, in MiniMoniMusic Exchange, Jimin mentioned that Rebirth was his favorite track. I do love it too, Jimin. The heartbeat, the poignancy. Perfection.

And I have to compare Be Mine to Seven. In Jungkook's Seven, the explicit version was so very literal and so in your face it was funny, even the MV added to the unserious vibe of it all.

But in Jimin's, Be Mine, he has probably the most erotic lyric I've ever heard coming out of the mouth of a Tannie: "... a hot island, a party with just the two of us; I know what you want and baby I want the same; love ‘til the morning; we just keep fallin’... baby come, baby come; show me what, show me what love is, yeah yeah; melt me hot, hot, hot quickly"

I am streaming all the versions of all the songs and album. I absolutely love it.

Now that I got that out of my system...

It's been about a year (??!?!?) since Jungkook's Only Fans debut live stream. Time is flying.

We are anticipating gaining more context soon surrounding exactly what went down between them the prior two weeks to this live and what did Jimin mean when he said he "can handle it? (Are you sure you wanna know?)

There is a high possibility we might get some jikook carpool karaoke.

The main trailer drops Monday. Hold on to your ... whatever it is you hold on to when you get shook because I'm sure it'll be another earthquake on the timeline.

All lyrics translations credit: © 2024 by Learn Korean With Sel www.learnkoreanwithsel.com/

[fridayyy-13th]

gonna be honest, feeling very conflicted about this episode, lads. i've been really hoping Protocol won't explain away the (NARRATIVELY IMPORTANT) mystery left at the end of Archives, i.e. Jon and Martin's fate, so seeing as they're the next thing Sam and Celia are gonna be investigating, this is kinda gonna be the thing that makes or breaks Protocol, for me.

i do think there's a solid chance Chester and Norris are the Jon and Martin from Protocol's universe, and that is something i absolutely would not mind. but i haven't actually made a post explaining why i think that, and i should probably do that before it's explained, just so i can mayyyybe say i called it.

(for the record, i'm pretty sure i came up with most of this before the series even officially dropped, when all we had was the ARG and the trailer. i haven't done much to connect this theory to the further information we've learned, so it's probably not fully accurate (if accurate at all). and quite a bit of it is kinda baseless conjecture; i'm just throwing my thoughts out there. just a little disclaimer.)

so!

in Archives, Jonah's primary motivation is fear of death. turning to the Eye is what allows him to body-hop as he does for 200 years, trying to create a world where his Patron reigns supreme, where he is seated upon its throne and cannot die. assuming his motivation is the same in Protocol, this new universe is (likely until recently) untouched by the Entities. if Jonah wanted to evade death, how could he do that without the help of an eldritch fear god?

easy—alchemy.

i'm not particularly knowledgeable about the subject as a whole, but i'm certainly familiar with the Philosopher's Stone (the symbol of which is also present in the OIAR's/podcast's logo, though it seems the OIAR is more focused on balance than on experimentation).

i also know that the seven metals used in alchemy (gold, silver, mercury, copper, lead, iron, and tin) are all components of computer chips. i've been thinking Jonah, or maybe his successors, saw that and began turning their research to how it could be utilized to extend—or preserve—life.

to cut to the chase, bc frankly it's hard trying to sound like i know what i'm talking about and this post would take forever to write otherwise, i think Jonah tried to Sergei Ushanka himself into a computer, because metal and plastic are a hell of a lot longer-lasting than a human being.

but he wouldn't shove his consciousness into some random motherboard without making sure it was safe, what do you take him for?? he is a man of academia. obviously he had to test it on others first, and then he'd do it himself.

cue the thought experiments the Institute ran on kids. the things the experiments quantify are empathy and obedience to authority, which to me screams that they were trying to find kids who were easy to manipulate into more dangerous experiments.

and who are two characters who were kids in the 90s, with circumstances that left them lonely, isolated, and who, even as adults, are desperate to please (whether a parent or a bad boss)? Jon and Martin.

i posit that Jon and Martin were both victims of these experiments, perhaps the first (and only) successful subjects, and Jonah uploaded his consciousness to the computer soon after. their records could have been stricken from the spreadsheet to hide that they'd even been part of the program, and given the Institute burned down soon after, and there were no survivors—it could have been assumed that they'd died in the fire. it isn't like they had the most doting guardians to worry over them.

...but Chester and Norris's voices are those of adult Jon and Martin.

best i can figure, Jonah's plan might have worked in the short term, but computers have had date/time hardware in them since the 80s, so they—and Augustus—are still aging. so they've been trapped in computer software since 1999, and now that Sam and Celia are digging into what happened, they're desperate to catch their attention and find a way out.

(and lastly, a fun little thought—given Jon and Martin were both born circa 1987, they would have been twelve in 1999. they didn't even get to be teenagers.)

[felassan]

Snippets from shinobi602, cut for length.

Comment made after the character trailer, before the gameplay reveal:

"I know I sound like a broken record at this point but I'd really wait for the gameplay footage before writing it off. I agree that the tone of the trailer isn't how I would have personally revealed the game lol. But it's definitely a mature story...(with classic DA humor of course) I think people will come around when they see it in motion." [source]

Comment made before the gameplay reveal:

"I just got a sneak peak at the gameplay being shown on Tuesday. A small sample, but enough to get a good taste. It feels like a much better Inquisition to me. Absolutely not Fortnite or Overwatch." [source]

Comment made before the gameplay reveal:

User: "Maybe this gameplay showcase is going to show us all the character creator options, the RPG mechanics and skill trees, the expansive dialogue choices you can make, the minute to minute gameplay and how the world works." Shinobi: "You won't get all of that. But it's a solid chunk. This is just the first step in a long several months ahead. They have to save stuff for more beats down the road too or else you run out of gas lol." [source]

Comment made before the gameplay reveal:

User: "Very excited to see a glimpse into that for the gameplay reveal, hoping the game's beginning is as memorable as the other entries" Shinobi: "It is a massive boost in quality for the series. I'm not talking art style or anything, but just in terms of sheer quality and technical fidelity. Really hard to keep my tongue bitten lol, but I'm excited to see what everyone thinks tomorrow." [source]

Comment made after the gameplay reveal was teased:

"Yup, that's what it looks like, but there's so much more goodness. Looks amazing imo." [source]

Comment made before the gameplay reveal:

"it feels like the ME2 of Dragon Age." [source]

Comment made before the gameplay reveal:

"Oh just wait. The hair tech is phenomenal in this. Even I was thinking "aye is this a Bioware game!?" lol." [source]

Comment made before the gameplay reveal:

"They look different but to be honest the more you see them, the more you get used to it. I love the way Harding looks now. It's more stylized, but also a huge boost in technical fidelity in Frostbite." [source]

Comment made after the gameplay reveal, before the press who saw the demos at SGF shared about what they saw:

"Pretty much every person I've talked to across a dozen different media outlets, ~95%'ish, has walked out of the private demo sessions with glowing praise." [source]

-

"I don't mean there aren't any open ended areas to explore. But it's a tight game, with a focus on not wasting the player's time with bloat. They took a lot of that feedback from Inquisition." [source] [re: the game not being open world in design]

-

One preview from a large outlet basically boils down to 'Bioware is back'. [source]

-

"I'm optimistic. From conversations I've had, they are genuinely serious in trying to make a Bioware classic here. They do not want a repeat of Andromeda or Anthem. I can only go based off what I've heard obviously - haven't played it. We all have our opinions on the combat, but they learned a lot of hard lessons since Inquisition, taken a lot of feedback to heart, and want this to feel like that tight, structured high quality experience we used to get from them. Andromeda and Anthem came in hot at launch. I felt some warning signs before those came out, but here? Right now they're just polishing. It's all polish from here to release. I'm really hoping this is the start of their return to form. That team's been through a lot, I hope it works out for the best." [source]

-

User: "I think there certainly is a decent contingent of legitimate dissatisfaction or concern around the game, but I'm not sure that that's an overwhelming segment, but I do think it's something BioWare in EA should not and cannot ignore." Shinobi: "They've definitely taken notice. There's a lot more to show between now and launch." [source]

-

"One thing I'm particularly happy about and can't get over is how much better the hair rendering is. It might be a small thing to some but it looks incredible. It's in another stratosphere compared to DAI." [source]

-

"Everyone in the previews was gushing about how robust the CC is in Veilguard so there might be a decent chance to make some wild Qunari designs." [source]

On the Next Mass Effect:

"ME will look very, very good. Don't worry." [source]

[woantohae]

Nothing's gonna stop us now || (Void x reader x Sentry)

Summary: Y/N is pulled into the Void by the dark entity that takes over Bob. The team prepares to go after her, while Y/N and Void seem to get a little closer. But at the same time, the past and traumas can be revived.

Author's note: I'm counting down the days until Thunderbolts* comes out, I'm so excited and I need more and more new trailers and teasers!!✨️ This movie will definitely surprise us.

On the other hand, this is a continuation of the Thunderbolts series, based on scenes from the new teaser that came out. Here we finally explore the Void.

Hope you like it! 💌

Everything was dark.

Y/N was stranded in complete darkness, unable to see anything that would indicate where she might be. It's cold, empty and void. She thinks it might be one of her many nightmares. Usually, darkness surrounded her and took her back to her worst memories of everything she had to endure.

Her heart was beating hard, but she was strong and fearless on the outside; she didn't want to look defenseless. She hopes the team can find her, but the girl's sure it will take a while, because she herself didn't know where she was, to begin with. After a few seconds, she begins to hear footsteps getting closer and closer to her, and feels a presence behind her. Suddenly her vision clears and she seems to appear in front of the door of a laboratory. She swallows hard as she remembers what it is and her hair stands on end.

"A lot of memories, huh?" he asks behind her back.

Y/N falls silent and hears a mocking laugh from beside her. Void stares at her with his body turned towards her, putting his arms behind his back.

"It must have been difficult for little Y/N to be experimented on for her..." he approaches her ear to whisper "abilities"

Y/N shakes her head, while Void smirks. Inside the girl feels nauseous and a cold that suddenly envelops her.

"Do you want to destabilize me? Is that your purpose with us?" She tries to sound firm, but feels her voice shake a little. "What do you want?"

Void stands in front of her and suddenly the girl feels his dark gaze piercing her soul. He hardens his gaze, raising his hand and caressing her cheek, watching as Y/N slightly moves away from him.

"We're not so different. You and I," he answers as he begins to walk around her, as if she were his prey . "I've noticed since Bob met you all the pain that consumes you from the inside. Your past that condemns you, even though you move forward. Even if avoid your fears."

Y/N licks her lips. She decides that it's pointless to use her powers for now, since he can easily use them against her, so she decides to play along.

"What do you gain from all this?" she asks. Void stops in front of her again and smiles coldly at her again.

"A companion," he replies. "Someone who will help me, accompany me, and... share the same desires as me."

"What would those wishes be? If we're not supposed to be so different, like you said" she asks.

Void answers her seriously, while Y/N hears the door open and notices a person in a chair with her hands and feet tied. Long black hair covers the person's face, but she knows who it is.

"Having total control of our lives" he says in the girl's ear, while he is behind her "But first we must face our fears"

Y/N is alarmed as soon as she feels Void gently push her into the room and face one of her greatest fears.

Being seen as a monster.

She turns to Void, but he disappears leaving her completely alone with her past. After that, she begins to pound on the door with all her might. She uses her powers to try to find a way out or make one to escape from there, but it's impossible.

She decides that the most reasonable thing to do—and the only thing she can do now—is to face her past. So letting out a sigh and trying to calm her breathing, she turns around finding herself trapped in the chair.

Reliving all the pain she remembers as if she never managed to escape.

If she could escape and defeat it once, she could do it again. Her heart was still racing after being able to face such a memory that tormented her.

She had fought off a few more before Void appeared at her side again, grinning from ear to ear. It was true that he enjoyed the situation, because he fed off of people's fear. But even with a dark soul, deep in his heart, Void felt a bit sorry for the girl.

Void was not in the habit of obsessing over people. He wanted to see them suffer and fall into the void of their own fears, thus being able to grow stronger with each fearful soul, advancing further until achieving his goal: having total control of Bob's body.

"I see you've been able to get through all this," he announces. "You should be proud of yourself."

"How much longer will you keep me here?" she asks softly.

Void raises an eyebrow.

"You don't like my company?" Void pouts and sighs in mock pain. "And here I thought we were beginning to be friends."

Y/N smirks and doesn't look away this time.

"If you didn't want to destroy me mentally, maybe I'd give you a chance," she admits, then shrugs, "I'm very friendly. Especially to those I care about"

Void turns his back and a smile curves his lips, thinking about how interesting he finds the girl, even though he shouldn't. It's as if an invisible magnetic force is trying to draw him to her and wants to explore all her fears and pains in order to—perhaps—take them away from her. That's ridiculous even thinking about it, he thinks to himself.

"Your friends are here," he announces, and a hint of hope and reassurance spreads through Y/N's chest. "But it won't be easy for them to find you."

He vanishes in the corners of the dark. And although Y/N ​​didn't really crave his company, she seemed to need it now, immersed in loneliness. And after a few seconds, Y/N's surroundings begin to transform into a place she knows very well. A place where she felt safe, or rather a person made her feel safe.

Dieter. An old friend.

Void disappears, leaving her alone in the room filled with clothes, suits, and fabrics scattered everywhere. She feels her eyes water with tears as she sees that everything is just as the boy had arranged it when he was alive.

"No," she murmurs shaking her head.

A chill runs down her spine as she feels someone breathing near her neck, so she quickly turns around, finding nothing but a copy of the suit she is wearing. The battle suit and the green crown that Dieter made for her. But it's all covered in blood.

Suddenly, she feels someone's arms pull and imprison her without her being able to move. She struggles, entering into desperation.

"You killed me" they whisper in her ear, before they throw her to the floor and thousands of fabrics begin to tie her body so that she does not escape easily.

If them were metal, she would have freed herself already. In front of her appears the blond —Dieter— who accompanied her when she needed him the most. Then, her sister Wanda and Pietro appear. But the three of them have a horrible and putrid appearance, as if they had come out of the grave.

"It's your fault" Wanda whispers in a creepy voice.

Y/N shakes her head repeatedly, wanting to run away from the place. She can't take it anymore.

"No, no, no. I didn't...." she whispers.

Dieter takes it upon himself to bring his dirty, wounded hands up to Y/N's neck and begin to choke her.

Void watches all of this from the darkness of the room and the scenario he creates for her. He should be enjoying this, but he can't quite do it. However, the dark entity sees the desperation in the girl's soul and can't help but feel something stir inside him.

He doesn't like this feeling. Because it's new for him.

Why?

"Please" she begs crying, tears falling down her cheeks "I'm sorry. Please.... i didn't do it. It wasn't my fault"

Void clenches his jaw and stares intently at the scene before his eyes and thinks that it's too much, so he decides to stop it, and is shocked by the decision he has just made.

For the first time ever.

What was going on with him?

Void feels Sentry starting to fight him, so he must get away from the place immediately and take care of it —more like him. Not without giving the girl one last look.

...

Y/N sits on the ground and catches her breath, moving as far away from what was once the nightmare as possible. Suddenly, she feels arms around her and screams in fear trying to free herself.

"Hey, hey. It's me. Bucky" says the voice.

Y/N turns to find the black haired man besides her and the notices the rest of the team with faces relieved to find her, but as if they had been recently traumatized too. She touches his arms and feels that he is real, so she lets her friend hug her.

"We came for you" says Yelena besides her on her knees.

Y/N smiles gratefully at her and the others.

As if regaining her memory, she looks around and tries to find a sign of Void, but he's not there. And she doesn't feel his presence either. But she is surprised to see Bob in a gold and blue suit, with a slightly more confident posture.

"Bob?" she asks.

He walks over to her and kneels down beside her.

"He won't hurt you anymore," he promises in a confident voice.

Y/N frowns and shakes her head, not quite understanding.

"I don't understand. Where is he? Will he come back? Why....?" she asks.

Bob takes her hand to try to calm her down.

"We took care of him while he had you prisoner of your traumas" John answers behind Bucky's back "Well, Bob took care of him"

Y/N looks at the blue-eyed man and he tells her with his gaze that it's true.

"Each one of us had to go through the same thing, Y/N" Ava points out softly in her voice "But we're okay now. Now that we're together"

"As a team" Yelena says.

"As a family" Alexei corrects.

A small smile forms on her lips.

Then her eyes travel to Bob who is still holding her hand. A look of guilt paints his face.

"I'm sorry for what I put you through. What he put you through" he says sincerely. "I promise you that I will control it."

The girl nods with her head, finally shaking her hand with his, and understanding that it is not his fault. She still doesn't know who Bob really is, or what Void wanted of her — with her— or if they are the same person. But one thing she was sure of for now.

She had a team that would be there for her, and help her get through this when she never had anyone to do it before.

Perhaps, a family?

No, they were still very far from it.

But that was enough for now.

....

And Void was also far away, watching her. In the dark, the void.

Waiting. For her.

And longing to be able to meet her again.

Be close to her again.

Be with her.

[murfeelee]

TS3 vs TS4 Features - Supernatural

I saw @moonbiscuitsims' comment here about how EA added "way more features" in their TS4 occult packs, and I wanted to talk about it in depth, cuz that's a misleading statement. Y'all know TS4's my trigger.

Cuz yes, on paper, EA offers a LOT of stuff in TS4 packs. But the saying goes: as broad as an ocean and as deep as a puddle. 😬 QUALITY, versus QUANTITY, which is crucial for replayability, customization, variability, and ultimate longevity. And another thing is the TIMEFRAME that that content was released. Sure, if it takes you 10 years to develop/dripfeed your frikkin game, ofc you can add more content over more packs; than if you'd just stuck to ONE dedicated pack, developed it in 1-2 years, and given people arguably BETTER, if not MORE content.

My gut reaction's to say EA had BETTER be offering more content! 😤 Not even to justify the ridiculous pricetag or anything, but for the simple fact that TS4's supposed to be NEXT GEN. It's SUPPOSED to be bigger & better than everything that came before it. Why are we sitting here for 10 years with TS4 if it ain't gonna increase ANYTHING but my rising blood pressure & trust issues?!

So Imma just examine TS3 SN in comparison with TS4's packs, and give my take on what's been going on, from 2012 (SN EP) to now.

Missing Features: TS4 Fairies

A fairy was the very first sim I ever made in TS3 back in 2009 (my avatar sim, Sakura). Watching the SN announcement trailer for the first time dang near made me cry. TS4 could never; moving on.

Missing Features: TS4 Zombies & Toadsims

TS4 Tragic Clowns are a W for the apple juggling & costume. I think EA was lazy by slacking on the clown just cuz he's already dead in Sunset Valley; and I guess they don't expect players to resurrect his ghost. SN EP did nothing to actually improve/expand him, just creating the alchemy Clown Potion; I guess to better integrate fishing the Clownfish into the lore.

TS4 Vampires GP (2017)

This is an easy one. I've said since TS3 Late Night EP (2010) that TS3's vampires are utter dogtrash, and the SN EP did eff all to patch/improve them, and I will die on that hill (until someone figures out how to give convert TS4's functional coffins & vampire fights & special FX). Compared to every other occult, I have more mods installed just to try to fix how effing busted & stupid vamps are; and these sparkling Twilight dumb AF bloodsuckers STILL get on my dang nerves.

IMO, TS4 Vampires is hands down the best pack EA ever made for TS4. 10/10, the attention they put in that pack outclasses darn near everything else they did until TS4 Seasons. Undisputed W, yes. 👏

TS4 Realm of Magic GP (2019)

Disputed W. I gave it an 8/10 at BEST, cuz magic/fantasy's a win, but I am disappointed. If this had been a home run for EA, I'd've shut my dang mouth, ISTG. But alas. I went on a long AF tirade against RoM when I realized that a lot of its so-called "new" features were things we could already do in TS4, with a flashy coat of paint--let alone things TS3 & the SN EP did, and better. Some things I didn't mention though:

Muggles who ask spellcasters how to do magic are sent on a fetch quest for Magic Motes, which is EXACTLY what the ITF EP Time Traveler occult Emit Revelart makes normies do to, finding Power Cells to learn how to use the Time Portal.

The Witch's perks/ranks system works just like the Vampires one, so kudos to EA for not fixing something that ain't broke I guess.

The Spells: At MTS I actually broke down what each of TS4's spellcasters do that's largely nothing sims couldn't do in TS3, even before SN came out (via SHT Genies or SSNS Aliens, or the Store).

TS3 Witches (let alone other lifestates) can do most of this either through alchemy or inherited features from older TS3 packs. This was a huge RoM dealbreaker for me, as I'd been hoping for WAY more innovative features in TS4's spells--the whole point of Spellcasters--than just an elaborate set of cheats. TS3's Witch's main features are fewer, but far more cohesive, IMO. (Granted, NONE of the packs holds a single candle to the GOAT that is TS1's Makin Magic, which had WAY more features than TS2, TS3 & TS4; and was CHEAPER. But I digress.)

There's no unique features with TS3/TS4 wands; they act the same way; the effects are just different, and TBH I'm not a fan of either--I wish wand/magic FXs could be modded in different colors at least (like BLACK 😈). But I DO like that in TS4 they can duel for rewards.

TS4 brooms do EFF ALL in a closed world; EA made them exactly they way they were in TS2, with zero innovation. (IIRC kids can't even use them--EA's hatred for kids & elders ALMOST matches MY hatred of EA.)

IMO beekeeping doesn't count, cuz TS3 included it as a small feature for alchemy ingredients in the SN EP, while TS4 integrated it far better in SSNS to work with gardening, which is genius.

Speaking of SSNS, there's the Weather Stone that only appears if you have both SN & SSNS, so occults can conjure magical weather effects over the whole world. (I'll talk about the best perk under Crystals SP.)

Familiars are the certified W for me with RoM. They're the best & most unique & most well-thought out & feature of the GP, IMO. ❤️

Extra TS4 features I think are supremely cool are spellcasters' books floating whenever they read anything. And their cauldrons have much cooler animations, and I'm so jealous that y'all can cook food in them; EA should've added that to the Store Cauldron, although I guess I understand why they didn't in the SN EP Alchemy Cauldron.

A lot of RoM's features are wrapped around Glimmerbrook. Access to Glimmerbrook comes with the Glimmer Stone key--and I WOULD use that as a segue into the Crystals SP, but I'll hold off. I already vented about Glimmerbrook in my Werewolves GP rant--but I'll get to that in a minute, too. The bigger issue is what even constitutes a TS4 "world"--those non-customizeable tiny AF clusters of tiny AF lots and huge swaths of decorative set dressing--let alone the Diagon Alley ripoff EA loves promoting like I was born yesterday and never saw Harry Potter. GORGEOUS realm, of course, like many EA worlds are. But they're largely just set-dressing, which irritates me to no end.

TS4 Paranormal SP (2021)

I've ranted & raved about Paranormal before: 7/10 at best.

TS4 Seances with the crystal ball work very differently from TS3's Soothsayer's Crystal Ball, which wasn't about banishing ghosts, but improving progression for SN's Witches & Fortune Telling (career). Fortune Telling's NOT a ghostly job, although the boho aesthetic carried over to TS4 Paranormal. (On top of the fact that they promised this whole NOLA Voodoo vibe, but delivered ZERO cultural accurate features reflecting ANYTHING from Haitian Voodoo, wtf? It's all hippie boho New Age BS--why TF does the tutorial ghost look more like Johnny Depp and less like Dr. Facilier, I ask you, EA.) Granted, some of the interactive objects are nice, like the calming dollbaby & magic candles to purify lots--kinda like TS3 incense. But again: 1-trick ponies. Yes, the animations look great, but crystal balls are typically for divination, asking spirits about the past/present/future, not removing haunting poltergeists, so I don't really get it. Stylish & gorgeous! But GENERIC AF substance-wise.

IMO, TS4's Ghosts are an L across the board; all the way from the base game--that bafflingly launched in 2014 WITHOUT ghosts until they were patched in a whole month later after everyone rose a stink (IIRC TS4 kids can't be ghosts!?)--to present. EA's been over/course-correcting from that gaffe ever since, with like double the amount of Death types than TS3. I DO NOT like how TS4 ghosts colors are tied to Eeemotionnsss~! (more like they're a sentient Plumbbob). TBF, kudos to TS4's smoky cloudy effect when ghosts appear. But the lack of unique deaths & ghost types in RoM (aside from Spellcaster Overload & the Night Wraith) made me roll my eyes, as SN EP's ghost types are some of my faves (ITF & SHT are also my top 3).

IIRC it was the SN patch that unlocked all types in (basegame?) CAS to make playable Ghosts. SN's Philosopher's Stone allows sims to summon new playable Ghosts (and ofc allows for transmutating cheap objects into gold ingots--more on that later), or it can just kill you and make YOU the new ghost, LOL.

But as for features, sure, TS4 ghosts have more interactions--though they're all pretty, rather than scary (vs TS2 ghosts, which were SCARY). TS4 ghosts lost the HORROR to just be silly/goofy or just CUTESY--especially the little spectres from Paranormal.

Speaking of horror, I can't talk about ghosts w/out bringing up TS3's AMB EP, cuz the Ghost Hunter (profession) is the real parallel with TS4's Paranormal Investigator (freelancer). In TS3, they actually stuck to their promised main premise (Ghostbusters). Overall, TS4 Seances are nowhere near as fluid as TS3 ghostbusting. In TS3 you can run all over the world using gidgets-gadgets to detect/fight ghosts & sprites, not just inside haunted houses, but anywhere they happen to spawn (ofc inc. graveyards). You're not just locked to a lot/house the player already knows is haunted (cuz you just toggle Haunted Lot to trigger the feature--SN's Ghost Gnome object isn't exactly the same, but it does spawn hauntings on the lots you put them in). ANY TS3 indoor/outdoor residential/community lot can randomly get haunted during a Ghost Hunter's shift; and you never know which one it'll be, or what kind of shenanigans will happen--EVIL ghost or just some sprites--which skyrockets replayability & keeps things fresh & interesting.

Functionally, Paranormal had no right to be that dang good for a Stuff Pack. That was a Game Pack; IDKY EA insists otherwise; esp. when it offered more & better things than some actual GPs. I'm confused. However, a serious problem TS4 has is that it gameifies everything to the point that TS4's numerous features lose their spontaneity, and just become rote--BORING. The ectoplasm everywhere just becomes another mess in your (haunted) house you have to clean--CHORES. On top of me not liking TS4 ghosts' look & vibe (and I HATE TS4's Bonehilda). Quality over quantity, EA!

TS4 Werewolves GP (2022)

Speaking of ghosts, waaaay back in 2020 I told the spirits precisely what I wanted from a potential Werewolf dedicated TS4 pack. Did they listen? HAYUL NAW. So in 2022 I said everything I had to say about the Werewolves GP, and accepted the fact that EA's INEPT.

Do TS4's wolves have MORE features than TS3? YES ofc (even in 2012 everyone complained that Witches & Faeries got the lion's share & Werewolves got shafted--they're basically glorified Familiars for Witches/Alchemist to find collectibles--more on that below). But was most of it GOOD features though? Debatable! I LOATHE the 2 wolf packs, which was what I'd most looked forward to; plus the whole world's aesthetic was ugly homeless-grunge, without a single bit of creativity or originality--only EA could make monsters as terrifying as werewolves effing cartoony hipster squatters. 🤦 7/10 at best.

TS4 Crystals SP (2024)

These crystals are ugly, EA. Which is weird, cuz the basegame TS4 gems & esp. space rocks are GORGEOUS. I have no idea which vision-impaired dev at EAxis thought these nasty looking opaque poorly-painted rocks were pretty.

Features-wise, granted, having TS4's bonafide Gemology skill from the Crystals SP's nice, instead of TS3's basegame hidden Collector skill. But the functioanlity's largely the same: cut more, unlock more (which I prefer to cheat my way through--TS3 thinks I have time for all this gameplay, LOL). (Not to mention all the extra features TS3's Aliens, Simbots & Plumbbots have when interacting with gems, space rocks, or metals.) TS4 only got 10 gem cuts for 27 crystals (=270), (+25 metals); compared to TS3's 16 gem cuts for 28 gems (=448), (+16 metals with their own separate ingots). Of TS4's 10 cuts, the Skull Cut is the ONLY one I think looks better (ignoring the atrociously flat textures ofc) than TS3's (which TS4 copy/pasted--no agates, no crystal ball, wtf).

The Garden Gnome cut isn't unique to TS4, as TS3 has several craftable (glass-only) Garden Gnome cut from the Glassblowing Machine (more on that soon).

The only TS3 gem that genuinely affects sims is radioactive Tiberium from the WA EP, so more features is definitely a plus. The best addition is TS4's Charging Grid feature--I LOVE that TS4 crystals can be imbued with magic energy--it's like TS3's Store Crystal Tree, ITF EP's magic crystal plants & the SN EP Mood Lamp all rolled into one. @greenplumbboblover's WIP Interests & Hobbies mod brainstormed integrating that functionality that back in 2020.

The functionality of the TS3 SN EP Gem Cutter & the TS4 Crystal Tree are similar, though ofc the tree's wallet & eco-friendly; and it's a plant, not a hunk of machinery, so it naturally has that going for it.

There's also the SN-SSNS Weather Stone, which gives werewolves the ability to summon a Hunter's Storm, raining a hail of gems, rocks & metals over the whole world for easy loot farming. (The best perk, though my fave is the Faeries' Reviving Sprinkle for gardening.)

Aside from SN, TS3's real equivalent is actually the Prism Art Studio Venue's Artisan skill. Cuz the REAL seller's the jewellery-making. There's ~100 CAS items in Crystals SP (plus 30+ regular Build/Buy mode objects). At $10, the Crystals SP is a steal, at least when compared to the BONKERS $20 tag on TS3's Prism Art Studio at the Store (2014). IIRC the Glassblowing Machine newly added 16 craftable CAS items & 13 craftable glass objects (as SN already gave us the Gem-Cutting Machine & AMB already gave us the Widgets work station); and 8 Build/Buy objects (inc. the goated L-shaped "spiral" stairs). It also added 5 craftable Perfumes for sims to use.

So while the Crystals SP added NICE features, I wouldn't say they added MORE features. Rather, they added more content: Quantity. But as for Quality, I think TS3 beats it out--the Prism Studio's a effing ripoff, but AFAIK it added features TS4 still doesn't have yet (craftable glassblowing & perfumes, spiral stairs); and the objects it did add are pretty nifty.

Timeframe-wise, we got the 2014 Prism Art Studio's Glassblower 2 years after the SN EP's Gem-Cutter; 5 years after the 2009 basegame. Compared to TS4's wait for the Crystals SP 2 years after Werewolves, 3 after Paranormal, 5 after RoM; and a whopping DECADE after the basegame launched in 2014. Wtf, EA?

Still, I'd say the Crystal SP's a 7/10 (there's not enough gem cuts, the gems textures are ugly, and most of the features were lifted from things TS3 had innovated 10+ years earlier).

TL;DR

Quantity =/= Quality.

EA's been taking way too long releasing packs to have the nerve to present debatable content--it should be goated releases EVERY time; esp. since everyone agrees TS4 is easier to create content for, so much smaller in scale/scope, and with an infinitely larger budget & fanbase than The Sims franchise ever had. There's zero excuse for EAxis' mediocrity, when TS3 was churning out EPs like it's life depended on it: SHT, SN, and SSNS all came out the SAME EFFING YEAR. 2012 was LIT.

EA, you suck.

[byslantedlight]

Hello OFMD Tumblr thingie, and all the amazing people who are out there, and especially the ones who've been making all the posts that have made me so happy over the last few months. 💖💖💖 First and most importantly, thank you, thank you, thank you, to anyone who sees this!

This is my first post to Tumblr (probably pretty obvious from my huge lack of Tumblr sophistication! And the length of this post...) If you don't count reblogging things that I wanted to be able to find again. I've braved up to comment thank you to people a couple of times, but that's been it so far. I must admit it all looks a bit scary from this side of the glass, even though I can also see how friendly people mostly are.

But OFMD fandom is big! And you've been here a long time! I loved Series 1 when I watched it, and knew I wanted to watch out for Series 2, but it wasn't until I re-watched it when the Series 2 trailer came out on BBC iPlayer that I fell veeeery in love with it! And by then you were already here, and there was a language and debates about things I'd barely even noticed, and it's mostly me staring with big eyes thinking wow, and sometimes huh? and... well, you know. Plus there's trying to work out Tumblr, which I definitely haven't actually managed to do yet, and possibly never will, so... I decided to just jump in and post summat. Even just rambling, which is a bit of a specialty of mine... I mean - what's the worst that can happen, right? 😬

So... how come now? Well, I can't make art or gorgeous screenshots or gifs. I do write, but I'm still hanging out to get the right voices in my keyboard... I know them when I hear them, but you've gotta get the right rhythm going, and I'm not quite there yet, I don't think. Although really, I should probably just sit down and try (and stop waiting for work to shut up and give me time - I should be a pirate and take it!)

Anyway (told you about the rambling...) what I'm mostly doing apart from rewatching the eps on a constant loop is reading the fic. I'm picking it according to kudos on AO3, and according to recs that I see on Tumblr, and it's occured to me that alot of the stories I'm loving must have been recced looong ago, and that newbies like me totally missed them, and so maybe I could do my own recs, even if they are of older stories, and someone might find them useful. You know, if I work out how anyone else might ever see my posts. 😁 And if people aren't put off by my probably age-revealing use of emojis. (But I am entirely age-appropriate for Ed and Stede, and if I had to look up what zaddy meant too, well, that just means I matched Rhys Darby's expression in the bts, right? 🤨)

So it's not much, but I'd like to contribute even just a tiny bit to OFMD fandom in return for everything it gives me, so... yeah. That's my plan. I'll start in a bit, but this post is probably already too long since it's just rambling. And kind of dull. I should probably have said tl:dr at the top, shouldn't I, but then maybe anyone who actually saw this wouldn't, so... See, I kind of live in hope. 😊

Okay. Tags next, right? ... ack ... why won't it let me create new tags instead of just using ones from the drop down...? Well, those will have to do for now... maybe someone who sees this will have mercy and tell me how? I'll just be over here being a slight failure at Tumblr... And if you've made it this far (how long is an acceptable post over here?! Not this long, I don't think...) - thank you hugely for just that, and may your dreams be OFMD and joyous!

[bingbongsupremacy]

My Little Secret

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader

Warnings: Teenage pregnancy, use of Y/N

Summary: You're scared to tell Eddie you're pregnant.

*Not Proof Read*

Note: Eddie and reader are the same age. Pretend he wasn't held back. Whole thing with Chrissy hasn't happened. Doesn't specify gender.

Stranger Things Masterlist

*****

Well this is perfect.

I stare down at the little while bar in my hands. Two thin likes stare back, mocking my mixed emotions.

What the fuck am I going to do? I shouldn't have let things go so far at Steve's party. I knew the fucking risk. How could this happen? I didn't think this would happen. What am I going to do?

What am I going to tell Eddie?

He doesn't want a kid...not now anyway. Fuck, this messes up everything. We can't afford a baby. How are we going to take care of it?

I begin to pace in the cramped bathroom. With every moment that passes, the room begins to feel more and more cramped, claustrophobic.

A thumping sound bounces off the walls from outside. Eddie's home.

Eddie's van shuts off with one last whine, the door shutting shortly after. I hear the keys jingle as he tries to open the front door of his trailer. " Babe? Ya here? "

I don't respond. I quickly grab the box the pregnancy came in and hide it at the bottom of the garbage can. I need to figure something out. I can't tell Eddie.

A knock breaks me out of my thoughts. I turn on the water, quickly washing my hands, hoping to relieve some of the nerves.

" Y/N? Why didn't you answer, babe. I thought you were still at work or something. " Eddie asks. " You feelin' okay? "

I swing open the door, pulling a smile onto my face. " Yeah, perfect. Just...lost in thought. " I push past Eddie, doing my best to act normal.

I'll figure this out. I have to.

Eddie raises an eyebrow, not completely believing me. " Okay...Do you want to watch a movie? I can order a pizza. " He offers, trailing after me.

I walk around the counter, picking my worn jacket and backpack up. " I actually, have to head out. My mom um needs help with the yard. " I lie.

A look of confusion flashes on Eddie's face. " Oh, okay...maybe another time? "

I nod stiffly. " Of course, Eds. You know how much I love our movie nights. "

I head towards the door.

" Do you want a ride? It's getting a little cold out. " Eddie offers, pulling on his jacket.

I shake my head. " I'm fine. A little fresh air never hurt anyone. " I attempt to joke.

I just need to get out of here. I feel like I'm suffocating.

Eddie looks unsure. " Are you sure? I really don't mind driving you. I don't want you to get hurt. "

" Eddie, I'm fine. " I insist. " It's only a few blocks away. Nothing is going to happen to me. "

Eddie follows me to the door. " Okay, okay. Just...call me when you get home, yeah? Just so I feel better. "

" Of course. " I pat his arm instead of our usual goodbye kiss. I don't hesitate to step outside. The chilly wind sends a shiver through my body, but I quickly ignore it. I need some time to think. I can't do that if Eddie's talking to me the entire ride home. Plus he'll see my mom's not home.

I feel Eddie's gaze follow me down the street, obviously worried about me. As soon as I turn the corner I feel a sigh of relief escape my lips.

I will be okay. I have to be.

______

I've been avoiding Eddie. I feel like he knows. Like he can read me. He hasn't said anything, but the more I'm with him the more tempted I am to tell him. I'm scared. I don't know how to do this. I haven't even told my mom.

Fuck, she'd kill me. She's warned me about this ever since I started dating Eddie years ago. Why didn't I listen?

All it takes is one time, she'd insist. One time.

She'd never let me forget this. I can already see the look of disappointment on her face. She already doesn't like Eddie. Knowing he's the father would definitely make things worse.

" Okay, what's going on with you. "

Eddie's voice asks sternly as he slides into an empty chair next to me.

The library is empty except for the older librarian shelving books in the corner. Everyone's gone home for the day, leaving the room absolutely quiet.

I raise my eyes to meet Eddie's concerned ones. " What? " I ask in surprise, not expecting him to be here. I thought he had a meeting right now.

" Why have you been avoiding me? " He asks. Desperation peaks through his steady voice. " What did I do? " He reaches to grab my pencil clad hand.

I tense slightly. " Nothing. You didn't do anything, Eddie. " I mutter, looking down at my science home work.

" Then why won't you look at me? You've blown me off all week, what's going on? Please, just tell me what I did and how I can fix it. I miss you. " His tone is genuine. Worry is laced through his features.

I clench my jaw, sadness clustering in my throat. " Eddie, I swear, you didn't do anything wrong. I've just been...busy. I have a lot of tests coming up. " Not a lie. The amount of tests this week on top of the news of the baby has been stressing me out. I hardly have time to sleep, I spend most of my time studying and stressing over what to do.

Eddie scans my face for a sign of a lie. " Look, I don't think I believe that's all. When you're ready to talk about it, you know where to find me. " Eddie pulls his hand away from mine, the warmth of his skin quickly being replaced by the the cold air. He stands up, ready to leave.

" Eddie..." I start, unsure what to say.

Eddie turns back to me, hope in his eyes. He waits for me to say something.

I don't.

" I'm sorry. " I whisper.

Eddie nods, turning back around. " I'm sorry too. For whatever I did. " With that he leaves. His steady footsteps disappear into the hallway. His expression burns into my mind. Sadness, slight frustration.

I didn't mean to make him feel this way. I just don't know what to do.

With a sigh I glance down at my stomach. I haven't begun to show yet, thankfully. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I start. I can only wear baggy clothing for so long. It's getting harder and harder to hide the morning sickness. With only one bathroom, my mom's bound to find out sometime.

I'm so scared.

______

A loud knock pulls me from the laundry. I leave my spot on the couch. Rain pounds on the front glass windows, blocking my view from outside.

Who the hell would be out here in weather like this?

I open the door, fully ready to tell the person to fuck off.

I'm met with the sight of a drenched Eddie. His eyebrows twisted in anger and frustration. He's soaked from head to door, water pooling at the bottom of his sneakers. In his hand is a familiar pink box, bold lettering smudged from the water.

The test.

" I can explain- " I begin, my heart pounding in fear.

He found it.

" Why the hell didn't you tell me. " Eddie cuts me off, his fist tightly around the now squished box. Water's soaked through the thin cardboard, turning it to near mush. He pushes past me, into the quiet house.

" Eddie...I...I'm so sorry. " Tears sting the back of my eyes. " I...I don't know what to say. "

Eddie's anger seems to twist into frustration. " Why didn't you tell me, y/n. " He repeats.

" I was scared. " I close the door, leaning against it for support. All the harbored stress and fear comes barreling out. My fluctuating hormones feed the fire, making everything fucking worse. " How did you find it? "

I know how he found it. I should've hid it fucking better.

" I was taking out the trash when I heard a rattle. I figured you might have dropped something in it and I pulled it out. That's beside the point, Y/N. You kept this from me. When were you planning of fucking telling me? " Eddie's voice is still strong with frustration as he paces around the hall.

" I was going to- " I begin.

" When?! You don't talk to me anymore, when the fuck were you going to tell me? I shouldn't have to find out like this. "

He's right. I should have told him.

Eddie's eyes snap towards me. His expression seems to soften when he realizes I'm crying. " Fuck. " He breathes out, putting his fingers tightly on the bridge of his nose. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm down. " I'm sorry. " He says slightly calmer. " I shouldn't have yelled at you. Fuck, I'm a horrible person. Who the fuck screams at their pregnant partner? " He clenches his jaw in frustration.

" No. " I shake my head, trying to push past my emotions. " You're not at fault here. I should've told you. You deserved to know. " I take a breath. " I was a coward. Eddie...I was scared of what would happen. To us, to the baby...with my mom. I was scared you wouldn't want the baby....wouldn't want me. "

Eddie's eyes open to look at me. " You were scared of me? Of us? Y/N, what did you think I was going to do? I love you, fuck you're the first person I've ever loved this much. " He admits. He takes a step towards me. Dripping strands of hair frame the sides of his face. " You couldn't do anything to make me stop loving you. I will always be there for you, no matter what. You didn't get pregnant alone, Y/N. In case you forgot, it takes two to make a baby. I'm as responsible for the baby as you are. You didn't need to keep this to yourself. "

I don't say anything.

He's right. Deep down I knew he'd still be there for me. I guess I was just afraid of what would happen if I wasn't right.

Eddie grabs my hand. " I love you and I love this baby. Nothing will ever stop that. I hate that you felt alone this entire time. That you where scared of what I would do. I never wanted you to feel like that. I'm so fucking sorry, Y/N. "

I hug him tightly, not caring about the water soaking in my pj's. " I'm sorry for not telling you. I...I shouldn't have doubted you. "

Eddie hugs me back. " We need to talk about this. "

" Yeah. " I nod, pulling my head away from his warm chest. " We do. "

--------

Eddie finishes drying the ends of his curly hair before speaking. " What should we do. "

" I have no idea. " I sigh. " My mom's going to kill me. " I begin to feel tears well in the back of my eyes. " She'll throw me out, I fucking know it. "

Eddie pulls me into his side. " Hey, hey. It's going to be okay. No matter what, I'll be right by your side when she finds out. We'll tell her together. You can...you can live with me. "

I shake my head. " I can't do that, Eddie. I can't do that to Wayne. He already sleeps on the couch. I don't want him to have to deal with a crying baby at all hours of the night. That's not fair to him. "

" Then we'll find a place to be together. I'm not letting you go homeless, Y/N. I'll-I'll get another job. The diner on Corner street is hiring. I can find a place for us before the baby...and Mrs. Thomas is selling her daughters' old crib, I'm sure she'll sell it to us for a decent price! I can sell my guitar and-"

" Eddie...no. " I put my hand on his arm. " That guitar means everything to you. You can't sell it. Plus, we're still in school. How the hell are you going to manage 2 jobs and school? "

Eddie's expression is serious. " YOU mean everything to me. This baby....it means everything to me. I'll do whatever I have to so you and this baby have a safe place to live. I can get my GED. We'll be okay. " Eddie's thumb traces circles on my thigh, an attempt to calm me down.

I know the argument is useless. Once he makes up his mind, it's set. " Don't do anything yet. We don't know what's going to happen. Let's just take this one day at a time. "

Eddie nods. " When are you going to tell your mom? "

" Tomorrow. I'll tell her tomorrow. " She's going to find out some day, and I'd rather it be from me.

Tomorrow it is.

[eisforeidolon]

[Following on from talking about Kim Manners for a while]

Mark: He was just an amazing guy -

Jared: The best.

Mark: He was something else. And look, I've worked with a lot of people, and I've known you since you were a lot younger.

Jared: Hey! Same! Same!

Mark: A lot younger. And the truth is, to - it sounds so corny [mocking voice] 'Oh, this show is a family'. Look, this is a place where we went to work with 150 of our friends for over, y'know, a decade and a half. I did nearly a decade of it. And I think the energy that he instilled upon how to behave on a set was absolutely the reason why anybody could walk on that show and be treated like gold. [Jared nods as he's talking] You could succeed if you came with your A game, you were looked after and you were carried. And if you were crap? You were looked after and you were carried. I swear to God I have seen this, couple people that didn't - I won't ever say what it is, but didn't make it beyond a certain small amount of an arc, they just didn't have the right thing or didn't get it or whatever.

Jared: Yeah, the right attitude. We even had people that recurred and returned, who maybe they weren't as solid of an actor as a Mark Sheppard or a Mark Pellegrino type, but they were good enough and they were kind. And they showed up and they wanted to work and they wanted to laugh and they knew their lines and hit their marks and they showed up on time and there was no bullshit. It was like, okay, we can work with this. And so let's keep on going -

Mark: There was a trust element that was mind-blowing, and I've worked on some amazing sets in my time, but it was special, man. To know that every single person in that crew had my back every single day.

Jared: Amen.

Mark: When we did the end of season 8, when you and I were doing hours [Jared says something here I can't make out] and hours and hours of this stuff. That group, right, so in between shots, right? In between shots, you've gotta move lights, you've gotta move cameras, you've gotta do stuff. And they don't have to be quiet. They're working all day, they've been there three hours before us, they're leaving three hours after us -

Jared: And it was a long trek, it was like an hour away from town. On some, like, beautiful lake that Phil Sgriccia -

Mark: Oh, on the outside when we did - but when we went to the stage, when we came back to do the interiors?

Jared: Yes, yes.

Mark: And we did the interiors in there, they didn't make a sound between takes for two days. Because the boys are being serious, we'll support 'em. And that's how we got through those pages and pages of stuff. Jensen -

Jared: It was a couple of - two or three days or something.

Mark: It was two or three days -

Jared: And then Jensen and Alaina come in.

Mark: It was nuts. It was so - but we, like, you see all the gag reels, right? You see how silly everything gets? The reason why the gag reels are fun is cause we work hard, so one mistake -

Jared: [?] you're done, never forget. I will say this, a lot of y'all know Mark and have known him many times or met him many times, and a lot of y'all know, can agree with me, he doesn't shut the fuck up. Ever.

Mark: [Mark holds his hands up and nods] I talked my way through six heart attacks, trust me.

Jared: Other than the two or three day span where we were in that chapel. And it was so - it was before the AKF campaigns, it was - what Sam was going through, in a very different way, was similar to what Jared kinda had gone through and was going through? And so I went to a weird place, it's the only time in my 480 episodes of television I've ever listened to music during - in between scenes? And Mark is tied up, you know, you're my Marley moose and all that bit? And like, usually when you're tied up during a scene, they call cut and they move the cameras, it takes twenty minutes and you go like, untie me, I'm going to my trailer to pee and have some water? He just stayed there and was quiet the whole time, because I just sat there in the corner, he was just there for me, so kudos to you, Mark Sheppard.

Mark: And kudos to Jensen. Jensen was off-camera for a day and a half. Off-camera, in character, for a day and a half. It's - you suddenly realize that everybody's got your back and it's just the greatest feeling in the world. When you're trying to do - there's never enough time, there's never enough money, there's never enough ability to make the best that you can make of it, you know? We're all trying, but when you know everybody is trying to make the best possible thing for you guys [gestures to audience] that we can make, with all our hearts, with everything that we care about? It's just a fantastic experience. And what I love about, I was talking about the gag reels, what I love about the gag reels is you're seeing the antidote to that.

Jared: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mark: So when Jensen for the first time in his entire history can't get a line out of his mouth, which is I'd rather be smacked during sex by a girl with a Zorro mask -

Jared: He kept messing it up!

Mark: He messed it one time, and you killed him.

Jared: Oh for sure. For sure.

Mark: We have thirty eight takes of that. He never messed a line up in -

Jared: Worth it. He kept on removing a word or adding a word and I was like [frustrated voice] that's not the word! But it was good. Anyways. Great time, great family, let's get some questions.