#i've been thinking to write hange's pov as well......... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blueberrybeomgyu · 3 months ago

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୨⎯ "insomnia" ⎯୧ (lcy)

+*:🍓:*﹤descrip. : you help anton out after a rough week <3

+*:🧺:*﹤content : sub!anton x fem!reader/dom!reader (i think)

+*:🫐:*﹤warnings : smut, roommates/friends to lovers, 18+, so mdni 🤞(there are some really bad words in here), unprotected sex bc i forgot to add any </3 (please use protection), edging, wet dreams, overstim kinda, palming over clothes, blowjob, light nipple touching, petname babyboy, anton calls reader noona, i'm a year older than anton so i just made y/n older as well <3 this story switches povs bc im unprofessional, vaginal penetration, female anatomy for reader, clit rubbing

+*:💗:*﹤word count : 1.6K

+*:🍓:*﹤masterlist

✧･ﾟ: *

Anton can't sleep.

He tosses and turns just to wake up two hours later, hot, sweaty, and heaving. He writes it off as having nightmares, but that doesn’t explain the hard-ons he always has. He considers getting one off to help him relax, and that works for the first two nights. Then, in the days that follow, it's like no matter how long he goes at it, getting himself all whiny and desperate, he can't cum. That realization only makes it harder to stay asleep, lucky if he dozes off for forty minutes.

It's so aggravating. During lecture, he can barely keep his eyes open, but when his head hits the pillow, it's like he can't shut his mind up.

Tonight, he gives up around 1 AM after going in and out of sleep for an entire hour. He's restless but exhausted, and his mood is shot when you walk in the apartment. You had a long shift, so you can’t wait to snuggle in bed and watch a couple of comfort movies. You stop by the kitchen on your way to your room, unable to ignore your roommate's quiet grumbles.

“Anton?” You call out, but his back is turned toward you, and he's still mumbling to himself, fiddling with a container.

“Sweetheart, is everything alright?” You ask, placing an arm on his shoulder and gently turning him toward you.

“m fine, can't get this stupid box open.” He mumbles grumpily. In his hands, a box of hot cocoa packets is bent out of shape. You look at him in question (how did he bend the box like that? They aren't hard to open), but your attention is instead drawn to his features.

To put it short, he looks terrible. His eyes are puffy and red like he's been crying, his hair is tangled like he hasn't brushed it in days, and his oversized shirt is hanging off his shoulder, wrinkled and stretched out like he’s been pulling at it.

“Do you need help?” You reach for the box, but he moves out of your way, tucking the box to himself protectively as he continues struggling with it.

Anton knows he looks stupid, struggling to open this goddamn box, but ever since his problem of not getting off started, he hasn't been able to look you in the eyes. Every time you guys make eye contact, he feels ashamed.

What’s frustrating is that he doesn’t know why. You're beautiful, and he can't lie and say he's not attracted to you, but he's never thought about you in a sexual way, because he’s put in great effort to not do so.

So why is it hard to be around you all of a sudden? He can’t help but feel sad about the circumstances, as he was enjoying the friendship you two had been building for the past three months.

“I got it.” He mutters again, tone sharp and stern. You watch him for a couple seconds and conclude that he doesn't in fact have it.

“Are you sure, Toni? I can-”

“I said I've got it.” He snaps, voices suddenly raised and face scrunched up in annoyance. You slightly flinch at his outburst, a wave of your own irritation washing over you.

“Excuse me?” You ask, offended by his tone. His face falls and he turns away from you again. Seconds later, his shoulders begin to shake with his sobs.

He wishes you would leave him alone, because having your eyes on him makes him feel things he can’t explain. He just wants to have some hot cocoa, get off, then go the fuck to sleep.

“Oh, Toni.” You coo, mood softening as you begin rubbing his back. “What's the matter?”

You and Anton aren’t extremely close, and not by lack of trying. You’re so attracted to him, but love being his friend and don’t want to mess it up by asking him out. Despite that, you've never seen him in this state before. His usually cheerful, even charismatic personality is completely gone, turned into something snappy and miserable.

“I'm so tired.” He says, his voice shaky and so quiet you almost don’t hear him. The palms of his hands come to rub his eyes aggressively. “Can't sleep, no matter what I do.”

You wonder how long he had to be in this state to be acting like this, feeling a bit guilty that you hadn't noticed the signs earlier. You think for a second about how to help.

“I was going to go watch some movies in bed.” You offer after a few moments of silence. “Do you want to join me? It might be nice to have some company for a little bit.”

He lowers his hands from his eyes and thinks about your offer. You guys have huddled in bed for movies before, so it isn’t a wild suggestion, and your bed is always so warm, multiple blankets and plushies adding extra cushion. He turns around, ignoring the heavy feeling he gets from looking at you.

“Here, I'll even make this for you.” You gently remove the box from his hands, ripping its cardboard flap and opening it with ease. He looks at you in surprise for a second, then nods.

“Okay, why don't you go get settled and I'll be there in a minute?”

He pads softly to your room, shoulders slumped and feet dragging.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Anton is buried underneath your duvet and blankets, only his eyes up to his forehead visible when you walk into your bedroom.

“Comfy, are we?” You ask with a light chuckle, reaching out to hand him his cocoa. He sits up in bed and takes the mug. After changing into pajamas in the bathroom, you settle into your own space and pull up a selection of movies on your phone.

“How's The Cat Returns?” You ask, watching as he downs the drink and snuggles back into the sheets.

“Fine.” He mumbles, eyes droopy. You feel bad for him again, hoping he'll be able to get some sleep tonight.

You get through that and a third of Coraline when you hear Anton huff loudly. You glance down to see that he's snuggled up by your chest, eyes shut and breath even. He’s never slept in your bed before, but you don’t want to wake him up from some much needed rest. You take a moment to appreciate his beauty. In the glow from your bedside lamp, you can see his rosy cheeks and furrowed eyebrows, and your heart swells with fondness. Maybe this will make you guys even closer. You smile in triumph and continue the movie.

Ten minutes later, you hear it. You ignore it the first time, but it happens again soon after. Anton lets out a faint whimper. For a second, you think he's talking to you, but he doesn't respond when you call out his name. Instead, he full-on moans.

“N-noona.” He mumbles. The blankets have fallen from his chest and pooled around his pelvis, and you see his hips twitch slightly. “Please…”

Was he…having a wet dream?

Surely not, you tell yourself. The circumstances of this happening are quite unlikely.

“Y/N…need you.” He whines quietly, and your eyes jump to the size of saucers.

He was having a wet dream about you?!

Your cheeks heat up, feeling flattered but scandalized. He doesn't say anything else, but his breath picks up rapidly, becoming more choked off as it progresses. Seconds later, he jerks awake, gasping and panting, his fingers tangled into the blankets. You watch as he squeezes his eyes shut and tries to slow down his breath. Then, he opens them again and looks up from your chest.

“Oh, Noona, did I wake you? I'm sorry.” He asks, voice thick and words slurred.

You ignore the way hearing him call you that now makes you hot all over, arousal manifesting in your panties. He sits up with messy hair and puffy cheeks. Is he just going to pretend like he wasn't dreaming about you?

“What?” You scoff, a smile tugging at your lips. You can't help but laugh at how weird this situation was.

“Sorry for disturbing you, I'll head back to my room now.” You watch in disbelief as he sluggishly stands up from the bed and not-so subtly covers his boner with his large shirt.

The truth is, Anton can't wait to get out of your vicinity. Your scent is stuck to his clothes, and he doesn't know why he likes it so much. That shameful feeling is back, and he wants it off his skin.

“Wait, Anton.” You call out, dropping your phone on the sheets and just barely catching his wrist.

Shit. He turns back to you, eyes falling to your mouth, and he could've sworn you were almost…smirking?

“Did you get to sleep?” You ask, but your eyes lack genuine curiosity.

“Oh, yeah, I guess I did.” He answers awkwardly, looking everywhere but your eyes. He’s so cute, and his nervousness makes you feel empowered.

“What did you dream about?”

“What?” He looks at you finally with a look of confusion.

“Dreams? Did you have any?” You slowly lead him to sit back down. He follows easily, pulled back onto your soft, comfortable blankets.

“Uhm, no, not that I remember.”

“You can't remember what you dreamt about?” You ask, incredulous. He looks away for a second, thinking, then turns back to you and shakes his head.

“I think I've been having nightmares a lot recently. I keep waking up on the verge of a panic attack.” He explains. You hum in contemplation. You can’t help but wonder if any more of these “nightmares” have actually been wet dreams, and if so, how many of them have been about you.

Slowly, your hand trailed along his thigh, and you delight in the sound of his breath hitching. His body is tense, eyes looking at you in question. “But that's alright, I guess I don't w-want to if they were that scary.” He stutters as your hand trails higher and higher. You’re giving him a sultry look, and he wonders if this is going where he thinks it’s going, and is surprised to realize maybe he wants it to go there, despite it being so sudden.

“That's interesting, because I think I know what you dreamt about, and why you can't get to sleep.” You say, circling your finger around a spot right on his hip. They twitch under your touch, and you almost coo again watching him try to restrain himself.

You’re not sure where you suddenly got the nerve to act like this, but you say to hell with it. You’ve been harboring a crush on him ever since you became his roommate, and he obviously shares the same desire, if his subconscious is anything to go off of. His shy demeanor only makes you more confident. You move on from his hip and slide a hand up his loose shirt.

Anton’s almost relieved by your statement—he wants almost nothing more than to have a full night's rest—but he finds it hard to focus on your words as your nails lightly scrape his skin. His eyelids flutter prettily.

“When was the last time you came?” You ask abruptly, causing Anton’s eyes to snap open.

“I’m sorry?”

“You likely can't go to sleep because you're so tense. When you do, you can't stay asleep because you keep having wet dreams about me that eventually wake you back up.” You’re not sure if the last part is true, but that’s your working theory. You watch as he struggles to comprehend your statement as you graze a couple of fingers over his nipple, voice catching in a gasp.

“What are you talking about? I'm not even having inappropriate thoughts about you.” He defends, because he tries so hard to not have inappropriate thoughts about you. He doesn’t want to be a pervert and take advantage of the friendship you guys have, so he pushes away any sexual thoughts that creep up in his mind. Sometimes it’s so hard, but he values your company so much, and doesn’t want to upset you.

“Oh, yeah? So when you moaned, ‘Y/N noona, I need you’ in your sleep, you weren't having inappropriate thoughts about me?” You ask, over-exaggerating the way he moaned. His eyes squeeze shut at the feeling of you tugging on his nipple, then you trail your hand back down to lightly trace his bulge. His hips lift towards your hand, and you pull it away.

Even in his aroused, half-asleep mind, your words make sense. Why he feels shame looking at you, why he’s always rock solid when he wakes up. It’s not a far fetch to think he’s been having sexual dreams, nor is it to wonder if those dreams are about you, since you’re the only person he’s been attracted to lately.

You wrap your hand around his member through his pants, snatching him out of his thoughts.

“F-fuck.” He gasps quietly, surprised at your actions. “What are you doing?”

“Did you think you could get off on the thought of me and I wouldn't take up the opportunity to finally fuck you?”

Questions swim around in his head. Have you been wanting to have sex with him? You’ve been thinking about him inappropriately this whole time? The mere idea of you finding him attractive gets him even more hot and bothered, but he has no time to dwell on these thoughts once you start palming him roughly through his sweatpants.

“Oh, g-god.” He whimpers out after a few minutes, hips finally bucking into your touch. “Please, ‘m close.” His breath quickens again, uneven and harsh like it was in his sleep. His cheeks are dusted with baby pink, embarrassed about how close he’s gotten so quick, but he can’t help it. You’re so beautiful and you’re touching him and he’s realizing maybe his feelings are bigger than he previously thought.

“You're gonna cum from humping my hand?” You ask, unimpressed. “We haven’t even started yet.”

Your words make him feel like he’s being boiled alive. Part of him can’t believe this is happening, but he’s so desperate to please you. Anton gasps, pushing his hips back onto the blankets to get away from the stimulation.

“Please, stop. Wanna last.” He begs. He’s so cute, all weak and compliant, and you want to tease him more, see how long he holds out, but you can tell how much he wants to last, so you relent. He mumbles weak “thank you”s as he comes from the edge, and once his breathing returns to normal, you straddle him. He opens his eyes and looks at you in question, audibly gulping when he sees your dark, hungry gaze. He starts a sentence, but you cut him off as you grind your cunt against his member.

“God, Y/N.” He groans, throwing his head back into the pillows.

“Sorry, you were saying?” You ask, giggling meanly. You keep the movement up, building a rhythm while watching him struggle to string words together.

“I can’t– ahh– can’t believe t-this is happening.” He manages, interrupted by a particularly rough grind. For a second, his head catches on the opening of your cunt, and even through two layers of clothing, the feeling has him reeling.

“Hm.” You sigh into the feeling and accept the fact that you were gonna have to throw these underwear away. “Why’s that?”

“You’re so pretty a-and nice and– Fuck, fuck, need you, please.” He whimpers out, echoing the words he spoke while asleep. You take in the sight of him, and he just looks so beautiful, brown hair fanning out beneath him. His lips are red from him biting them, and you can’t resist the temptation to lean down and kiss him. He tastes a little like the cocoa he had earlier.

It starts out slow, Anton taking a couple of seconds to comprehend the situation, overcome his shock, and actually kiss you back. Then it becomes more of him panting against your mouth, hips jerking erratically under your weight.

You still don’t want him to finish just yet, so you lift off of him and ignore the displeased whine he lets out. You pull his sweatpants off slowly while lightly scratching the skin of his thighs, reveling in the sharp gasp he takes. He’s so responsive, so fun to play with.

“Oh,” You whisper, shocked to realize he’s not wearing underwear. “So what’s this? Were you expecting to come in here and get your dick wet?” You ask in disbelief, eyeing his cock. It’s about average, but thick, and just thinking about having that in you has your pussy throbbing. You’re just teasing, but your words break Anton into a cold sweat.

“N-no! No– these are m-my pajamas.” He explains desperately, words clipping off into a whine as you lift his hard cock with two fingers then let it flop back down. You can’t help but be mesmerized by it. It was a deep shade of pink, almost red, and a white bead of precum was forming at the tip. You subconsciously lick your lips at the sight. You professionally move on from the fact that Anton doesn’t sleep with underwear on in favor of running your tongue across the slit of Anton’s dick.

He let out a choked sound and his hips jerk violently, but you’re able to back up before his penis collides with your nose.

“Toni, if you want me to touch you here, you have to be still.” You warn, one hand coming to rest on his hip.

“Sorry, sorry, I can do that. I can-” His rambling is cut off by you taking his entire head into your mouth. “Shit, shit, I– ‘m.” His hands come to tangle into your hair, but you pull off of his dick and place his arms back by his side. You don’t say anything, but you’re sure he gets the command.

“Gonna cum already, baby boy?” You ask teasingly, rubbing his wrists gently. His breath hitches at the pet name, and you make a mental note to revisit that later.

“No,” he mumbles defensively. Your eyebrow lifts in suspicion, but you take his word for it.

“If you get close, let me know, okay?” You hold eye contact while saying it, and he responds with a nod. “No, baby. Answer with your words. Can you do that for me?”

“I’ll let you know, promise.” He says, nodding quickly, so desperate to get your mouth back on his dick. You’re not sure how much you believe him, but you oblige, slowly taking his member into your mouth inch by inch. Since he’s on the shorter side, it doesn’t take long for you to bottom out, his tip barely even reaching the back of your throat, but he’s hot and heavy on your tongue.

You wait and adjust for a second then begin a pace. Under you, Anton doesn’t say anything, the only communication being his gasps and grunts. You can tell he’s close by the way his hips stutter, desperate to buck up into the wet heat, but still, he doesn’t say anything. You pull off his dick to instead suck at the head, tongue sliding across and dipping into the slit. Almost immediately, Anton verbally explodes.

“Stop! Stop, please– too much, ahh–” He rambles, stuttering around portions of a sentence. He’s so embarrassed, but it’s not his fault you’re playing his body like a fiddle.

You love the sound of him begging, so you keep up the ministrations a bit longer until his whines are so loud that he’s practically screaming, squirming on your blankets. You pull off again and rub up and down his thighs slowly. He gasps and pants as he comes down, so tense, and his cock is even more red, twitching as a steady stream of precum leaks out of the tip. It’s so vulgar that it almost drives you insane, and you’re starting to think you’re gonna lose it if you don’t sit on his cock in the next few minutes, but you push through it.

“Aw, that looks like it hurts. Want me to help you, or should I just leave you like this?” You ask, rubbing lightly at the head. In Anton’s sleep-deprived, sexually frustrated mind, he can’t see how much you want him, how you’re just as desperate as he is, and thinks you’re serious.

“No, please, please, don’t leave me, it hurts so bad.” His hips jump lightly, drawing your attention to his member in an effort to prove his point. “I can’t–can’t get off alone, need you.” He can’t even fathom the thought of you leaving him like this, tender and submissive and so, so hard.

You can’t help but coo at that. You slip your pajamas and underwear, as well as his shirt, off, then straddle him again. You grind your cunt against his member again, this time without the barrier of clothing. Before he can beg, you crash your lips into his, swallowing any small sounds that try to escape.

You kiss him until your lips hurt, making up for all the time you spent silently pining after him, not knowing he wanted you just as bad. When you pull away, he’s struggling to catch his breath and looking at you like you hung the stars.

“You’re s-so stunning, I c-can’t believe you l-like me.” He mumbles through stuttered breaths. His hands lay awkwardly by his sides, and you lift them up to rest on your hips. His thumbs rub circles into them shyly, which causes your heart to swell up.

“How could I not like you, sweet boy? You’re so handsome and smart, so caring.” You run your hand through his tangled hair, gently undoing a couple of knots as you remember the traits and quirks that made you like him from the beginning. He practically melts into your touch and praise, but you’re not done with him just yet. You raise your hips and lean into his ear.

“You’ve been such a good boy, do you want me to fuck you now?” You barely get the question out before he’s nodding again, all eager at the idea of finally feeling your walls against his cock.

Anton watches with slow, bated breath as you line your opening up with his length, but then you actually take it in, bottoming out with no hesitation, and his eyes roll into his head. He screams, but the sound is muffled due to his teeth trapping his bottom lip. You sigh in pleasure while letting yourself adjust to the feeling, then study his features as you clench around his dick.

His eyebrows furrow, and he lets out another high-pitched keen, and you’re mesmerized by his beauty. Anton’s grip on your hips tightens as you lift up and slide back down, but you feel a bit annoyed that his eyes remain closed.

“Look at me, Toni.” You request, hands resting on his chest to support your weight. His eyes barely open, fluttering like it’s a struggle, and you can't help but think again that he’s just so cute. You want to destroy him.

“Good job.” You praise and graze his nipples with your fingers. His hips jerk at the sensation, pushing himself deeper into you, and you squeeze your eyes shut momentarily as a wave of pleasure washes over you. You breathe through it in an attempt to hold on to some sanity. On the next inhale, you pick up the pace, sliding his length in and out of you rapidly.

“Oh, oh god- fuck, th-that’s so good, you’re so good.” Anton rambles, his voice strained and high-pitched in a way you’ve never heard before. You’re instantly obsessed with the sound and make a tsk-ing noise when he bites his bottom lip. You lift your hand off of his chest and squish his cheeks. His bottom lip juts out in a forced pout.

“None of that, baby boy. I wanna hear you.”

“-t’s embarrassing.” He mumbles weakly, which tapers off into another moan as you sink down fully and roll your hips. You throw your head back, feeling his thick size touch you in places you’ve never reached. You pick up a rhythm of sliding him in and out of you a couple of times then bottoming out and rolling your hips.

“Damn, Anton. You f-feel amazing.” You moan, stuttering when his hips buck into your own. You look back at him and his eyes are still open, and he’s giving you that look again, the one that makes you want to shy away under all of that adoration. Before you can, he throws his head back, baring his pretty, flushed neck as another high-pitched noise rips its way out of his throat.

“F-fuck, -m so-sorry, can’t look– gonna cum, I’m–”

You still on his lap and ignore the frustrated noise he lets out. Next to his ear, you whisper, “Not yet, Toni. Don’t you want to make me feel good too?”

He nods dumbly, unaware of how good he’s already making you feel. His eyes are empty and glossed over as you guide his hand to your clit. He rubs it experimentally, and your pleased sigh has him speeding up a bit, pressing a little harder to hear more of those sounds from you.

His entire body is tense and burning hot, so close to the release he’s been chasing for a week, and watching your beautiful body react to his touch only makes it worse. He wants to get you there first, but when you roll your hips down again, he doesn’t think he can do it.

“P-please don’t move, please, please.” He begs, words slurring and eyes shining with desperation. He’s so deeply submitted to you that it’s almost unbearable, and you have the sudden need to please him, make him cum so hard he forgets his name, then kiss him to sleep. You support your weight with your shaky arms and lift your hips up.

“Fuck me, baby. Don’t you wanna cum?” You ask, putting on your sweetest voice for him.

“Fuck yeah, yes, need it.” Anton grunts out. He wraps your arms around his neck and grips your hips tightly before roughly thrusting into your cunt.

“Oh, fuck, Toni–” You gasp out with your face burried in his neck. His desperation shows through his lack of rhythm, his strokes uneven and harsh. He’s hitting your sweet spot so aggressively it feels like you might lose your mind, then his hand comes to rub your clit again, the grip on your waist strong enough to hold you up with one hand.

“Oh, god. Cum, please cum, I-I can’t hold it.” He begs, words interlaced with keens and gasps. Despite your previous permission, he’s still so desperate to please you, even with wet cheeks and eyebrows furrowed in agony. The sight, the feeling of him pounding into your sweet spot, and the harsh, uneven rubbing on your clit sends you into overdrive. You cum so hard your hearing almost goes out, but you can faintly make out his muffled screams, and you feel him cream in you, hot fluids spilling back over his cock as he works himself through it.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Eventually, the air stills, and for the first time in hours, Anton’s tense body fully relaxes, his bones melding into your pillows. You lift off of him to let him fully catch his breath, and slip into the bathroom. His eyes are closed when you return, and flutter open when he feels something warm and wet touch his skin.

You’re clean now, having wiped yourself down in the bathroom, and he’s silent as you clean him up as well. His blinks are slow like his eyelids are heavy, and you’re overwhelmed with the desire to leave kisses all over his puffy cheeks.

You put discarded clothing as well as any dirty blankets in your laundry basket, then climb under the duvet with him. He’s warm and cozy when you pull him to lay on your chest again.

It’s silent for a few minutes, but you know he’s not asleep, because his breath is irregular.

“...Noona?” He calls out so quietly you’re surprised you hear it, alert to make sure he’s got everything he needs, so you hum in response.

“Did you mean it? That you think I’m…handsome, and stuff?” He mumbles. His voice is so soft and sweet that you just wanna eat him up, but you don’t wanna disturb his comfort.

“I meant every word, Anton. I’ve adored you since we met.” You confess while running your fingers through his fluffy, tangled hair.

Moments of silence pass.

“I think I’ve been denying my crush on you for the past four weeks.” He whispers again, almost uncertain. His words have your heartbeat picking up, the idea of him reciprocating your romantic feelings makes you so happy you could jump on the bed, because you don’t know how you would’ve gone back to being just friends after tonight.

Similar thoughts run through Anton’s mind. He can’t believe he didn’t see his feelings for you sooner. It feels like after a full week, he’s finally able to relax into his skin again. You’re so comforting, and remembering how you took care of him gives him butterflies. Curiously, he looks up at you, and your eyes are staring back at him, as soft and sparkly as they’ve always been. He can’t believe how deep his feelings for you actually run.

Your lips curl into a big smile, then you're suddenly cupping his cheeks and pressing warm, wet kisses all over his face.

“So cute. You’re so, so cute. I can’t resist any longer.” You say through smooches. He grunts in feigned annoyance, pretending that his heart isn’t threatening to jump out of his chest. You lay him back down, but he still has one question on his mind.

“Noona, w-will you…be my girlfriend?” His uncertain tone is back, despite everything.

“I better be.” You say lightly, half-joking. You continue running your fingers through his hair, and Anton’s eyelids become so heavy that he can’t keep them open despite wanting to stay here in this moment with you.

You want to be sure before you drift off yourself, so you wait for a few more minutes, and then his breath evens out, and Anton falls asleep.

✧･ﾟ: *

a/n : this story on ao3 <33 pls lmk if i missed any tags i should add! this is my first ff so it's lacking, but i tried my best to fix up any obvious plotholes!!

151 notes · View notes

mianexil · 6 months ago

Note

POV: He heard/saw how someone was planning to harm you .... this trope for togame jo plssss

◇ POV: He heard/saw how someone was planning to harm you ◇

(pt. 2)

◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇

💫 [ Hey, my cute Jo Togame lovers, your man is finally here. I usually don't write headcannons with him because I'm not really into him yet. So let me know in the comment: Is it worth adding this turtle more often? In that case, I think I'll have to think about him a little more often. ( I also added Choji here) ]

💫 [ The reaction of the Windbreaker boys when they heard/saw that someone was going to harass you. Don't worry, cutie, you're under the protection of these boys ]

◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇

ㅡ Togame, Choji

Togame

The light of the beautiful festival lanterns reflected in your eyes as you walked along the food stalls.

The white yukata with the image of a red poppy rustled from your movements, and your heart was full of joy, because you will spend this fireworks festival with your boyfriend, who once again decided to work in the festival shop. Hearing the sound of your geta, Togame was distracted from hanging traditional masks on the shelves.

Your boyfriend slowly broke into a satisfied smile.

《 You look wonderful, pretty girl. This yukata suits you very well 》

After cooing for 15 minutes, you decided to go get dango.

Jo returned to his work when he suddenly heard 2 male voices behind him. However, the long-awaited visitors turned out to be not the most pleasant news this time.

《 Dude, girls in yukata are fucking hot. Did you see that chick in the white yukata with red flowers? She's definitely my type 》 - 《Well, go to her. She's not going anywhere in those shoes anyway 》

If only these assholes knew what a chilling look awaits them right behind their backs. The green eyes darkened, burning the guys with a look from under half-lowered eyelids.

Their guffaw was interrupted by a single movement. The poor guys' view was blocked by masks, and then heavy hands fell on their shoulders.

《 Shall we go talk? 》

The sauce on the sweet dangos glistened so appetiingly while you were carrying a box of them to Togame's shop. However, there was no one there. You started to turn around, looking for your boyfriend in the crowd, when you saw him walking towards you along the path in the warm light of the festival lanterns. Jo was smiling, relaxed, waving at you with his hand, which contained 2 new bottles of ramune.

《 Hey, baby, I bought us drinks 》

With a relaxed drawl, the man leaned over to you so that you could feed him sweet dangos from your hands.

That evening, you never found out that some 2 idiots slept through all the fireworks, lying in a log by some tree in the forest near festival street.

Choji

This active boy just couldn't help but invite you out on the weekend. You've already got used to the fact that one day off with him is one new adventure, because he can't stay at home, and he doesn't want to go without you.

《 Y/N, Y/N, let's go, let's go..》

And so, you found yourself in some crowded park after a long walk. Wanting to let your legs rest, you told Choji that you would go to the bench. In response, your boyfriend nodded with a big smile and said he would bring you sweets from an ice cream van nearby.

While you were catching your breath, Tomiyama was standing in line for a cold treat. It was noisy in the park, but the conversation of some jerk behind stood out from the rest of the background. The guy was talking on the phone, constantly laughing in some kind of nasty, raspy voice.

《 Yes, man, I noticed her a few minutes ago, and she's been sitting on the bench alone all this time. You should have seen her whore's flared skirt, she's one hundred percent looking for attention and I'll give it to her, hehe. It's been a long time since I've had a pretty girl 》

Choji followed the gaze of the guy who was staring right at the unsuspecting you.

How dare he utter such disgusting words in your direction!? Does he really want to die today? It seems Choji has just got a new rival.

A flame flared deep in Tomiyama's eyes, darkened with anger, and a joyful smile on his lips was replaced by an expression as if he wanted to kill here and now.

The nasty guy with the phone had to be distracted from the conversation because of the gaze of the head of the Shishitoren boring into him.

There was a tense silence. Choji stared in silence for a few seconds before speaking.

《 Isn't she beautiful? Tell? Yes?...But that's not for your eyes 》

The poor guy didn't even have time to be displeased when Tomiyama already rushed at him.

Usually in a fight people aim at the jaws or cheekbones, but God, this crazy boy was definitely aiming right at the bastard's eyes.

You jumped at someone else's scream and saw a crowd gathering around something.

Of course, you immediately realized that your boyfriend might have caused this commotion. And you weren't wrong. Running closer, you immediately saw the flashing yellow jacket of Shishitoren.

It was a bit difficult, but you had to pull Tomiyama away from his new rival victim. Otherwise, that jerk definitely wouldn't have survived.

◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ㅡ ◇

#wind breaker x reader #windbreaker #windbreaker (satoru nii)#jo togame x reader #tomiyama choji x reader #wind breaker #wind breaker (satoru nii)#windbreaker x reader #togame jo x reader #choji tomiyama x reader #wind breaker headcanons #windbreaker headcanons #jo togame #choji tomiyama

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moondrop-writes · 2 years ago

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Hiiiii! I hope you’re doing well! If possible could I get an Apollo x wife!reader scenario where like he always promised he’d never cheat and stuff cause he only ever had eyes for her but then she finds out about Will and is really upset until she meets him and thinks he’s super cute (in like a motherly way off. Bonus points if she used to be with Ares before he started dating Aphrodite and so that’s why she was so upset cause she felt like it was Ares all over again even if they’re still good friends)

Sorry if this is too specific or confusing or something 😅

i love TOA Apollo, and while i've never been really sure how to write the POV of a god, i think this is pretty fair considering his in-universe persona written by Rick. thank you for the request and no worries about specifics! also, my apologies if this is super long lmao

You wiped your wet hands onto the rag by the kitchen sink as the dishes you had just washed dripped. Normally, you'd dry them as well, but you were running low on time, and you didn't want to miss a crucial part of the night in order to fix little details like that. Smiling to yourself, you folded the rag and hung it up by the sink again.

The oven timer beeped just in time for you to get your apron on, and you grabbed your mits in order to safely pull the tray out of the oven. You placed it on top of the stove, the scent of the warm turkey filling your nose. Usually, you'd preserve such a thing for a holiday, but today might as well be one.

Tonight, was the night Apollo visited you once more, after several months in his human form trailing after some young girl, he seemed to take a liking to. Now he was immortal again and could see you after all that time apart.

You'd seen him within the first month at some point. You couldn't do anything though, because that wasn't him. It could very well be, but it wasn't. Lester was average, but it wasn't Apollo. You didn't want to sound shallow thinking that, but there was nothing connecting the god of the Sun to some fake New York teen.

And it'd been too long since then. He said it was for your safety, but you knew it was just because he couldn't stand for you to see him like this. You could tell by the way he walked that he was just as uncomfortable with his new body as you were. He looked like a baby deer, stumbling on tiny legs as it struggled to learn how to walk.

That was not your Apollo, your Apollo was graceful with a flashing smile that sent gusts of warmth up your arms. But his looks weren't all that appealed to you so many years ago. He might've been vain, but he was lovely too. He cared for mortals as the great Titan Prometheus had, and everywhere he walked seemed to cheer someone up.

He was rather dependent on his looks, but around you all that seemed to shy away. It was just you, mortal flesh and human blood, and him, golden blonde hair and a blinding smile.

In your head, you tended to akin Apollo to a star. Despite being one of the oldest Olympians, he seemed so much younger. His sister, Artemis seemed so much more serious and mature, and Dionysus had also seemed to understand his duty more seriously. Being the god of the Sun was more habit than it was a job to Apollo.

While the gods floated and stayed still in their palaces, Apollo roamed around. Each day when he rose and ran the sun, he saw places he might've otherwise missed. Everything wondered him, whether it be a small cave in Taiwan or a forgotten shore in Australia.

Stars were small, surrounded by dozens of other stars and radiating their heat and charm. You thought that summarized Apollo pretty well.

The doorbell rang, interrupting your thoughts.

Startling, you jumped up, rushing to untie your apron and hang it up in the hallway. In nothing but a pair of over washed jeans and a loose beige t-shirt, you pulled the door open, and finally felt like you could breathe again for the first time in months.

There Apollo stood, bronze skin and gleaming hair, a suspiciously bright red Camaro sitting in your driveway.

"Y/N," he breathed, voice as soft as a deer's mewl.

"Apollo," you answered, and leaped forward. He caught you easily, as he had always done, and pulled you close. Your fingers clasped behind his neck, grasping onto blonde curls.

His own hands found your hips, fingers slipping into the belt loops of your jeans to tug you forward. His nose was buried in your hair, and he pressed repeated kisses to the crown of your head.

He was dressed in his godly attire, bands of gold, an airy white tunic, and gold sandals. He looked like a supermodel next to you, but he held you as if you were true treasure.

You pulled back for a moment, only to pull his head down so his lips could meet yours, pressed together in a locking kiss.

It could've gone on forever, but mortals needed air, and you pulled away to breathe. With your chest heaving, he smiled at you as if you'd hung the stars. One hand lifted to cup your cheek and cradled your face.

"I love you," he said, voice soft and almost weak sounding.

"I love you too," you said, pressing your cheek to his chest. You felt something break in you when you heard the slow beat of his immortal heart. It was like a dam that finally crashed.

Your eyes filled with months' worth of tears and you hiccupped wetly against his skin. "I-I missed you so-so much..." you sniffed, trying to calm down your rapid breathing, "don't ever do that again!"

He gave a small rueful laugh and wiped at your tears. "I'll try," he said, and that was enough.

The two of you went inside, and he familiarized himself with everything again. You ate dinner, with soft talk of what'd you'd been up to the past few months. He was unusually quiet and kept glancing out the window to the sky as if it were going to disappear.

He followed you back to your bedroom and changed into some clothes that had been sitting in your dresser for months, awaiting him. You were in the bathroom attached to your room, combing your hair as he sits on the bed watching you.

You placed down the comb with a small clattering sound and turned to him. Your palms were flat on the countertop.

"What's up with you? You're...quiet," you ask, biting your lip. He blinks and runs a hand through his hair before standing and striding over to you.

He wraps his arms around you and hides his face in your neck. "Sorry, I... I've got a lot on my mind..." It was weird seeing him like this, so unsure of himself. Even before, when he would melt in your hands like putty and show his true self as a soft sweet husband, he was never uncertain. Not around you, at least.

You take his hands in yours and press a kiss to the inside of his palm. "Then confide in me. I'm here, and I don't plan on leaving."

He looks away and you recognize the expression easily.

Shame.

"Apollo," you say, a bit uneasily.

"Yes?"

"Tell me," You urge. He hides his face in the flesh of your neck again and presses a kiss to your nape.

"I made a promise, a while ago, and I broke it," he admitted, and you scoured your mind for a time where he'd done such a thing.

You held his hand, the new ring gleaming on your finger. Under Apollo's sunlight, it shone like a star in the night sky, but not even it could compare to the light of his smile.

He kissed your forehead, and said, "No demigod kids, I promise. Not even yours."

You laughed and swatted at his arms. "Be serious," you huffed, "and thank you."

"Mhm," he hummed, smiling against your temple.

Instinctively, you pushed him back, second-guessing your strength and gasping when he banged into the doorframe. He winced and held a hand to his shoulder blade.

He opened his mouth to say something, but you shook your head. "How old? No--how many? How--how could I have been so stupid?"

"Y/N..." he tried, voice breaking halfway through your name. It didn't matter, you were louder.

"No, answer the question!"

He closed his eyes, face twisted with distain as he cowered. The god, Apollo, cowering to the wrath of mere mortal.

He breathed in to steady himself.

"Five."

Your face contorted into one of anguish, then horror, then anger.

You cared not for the pained expression on his face when you pulled off your wedding band and flung it at him. He caught it and held it to his chest. "For fifteen years I thought you were loyal! But no. Did those years mean nothing to you? Could you have not waited another century for me to pass? God!"

You ran a shaking hand through your hair, and felt disgust rise within you.

"Please," he begged, but you were having none of it.

"Out!" you shrieked, "get out!"

He obliged, leaving you to fall to the floor, sobs falling from your lips.

It went like that for a while. A few weeks, you think. He tried, multiple times, but you didn't want to listen. How could you have thought he loved you? All those years of lies.

You didn't want to think about him. So, you didn't. You blocked all thoughts of Apollo out. That was until you were sorting through your mail and found one from a sender you weren't familiar with.

From, Will Solace, sent by Hermes Shipping & CO. to Y/N L/N

Curiosity taking over, you opened the letter, and began to read.

Dear, Y/N!

Hello, I'm sure my father has given you quite the issue, and I must say your anger is justified. I have not come to defend Apollo's actions but assist yours. I'm Will Solace, a half-blood son of your husband, my dad. He's been whining a lot at camp, but It's easy to tell how much he misses you. The whole time he was mortal he wouldn't stop talking about you. He claims that he's tried to talk to you, but you keep shutting him out, so I decided to take things into my own hands. You have all the right to ignore this, but I have a feeling you won't. As you're well aware, my father has had multiple demigod children since his marriage with you, which is wrong no doubt, all of my siblings agree. But I don't think he's talked to my mother once since my birth, and Austin said he hadn't seen him before camp since he was four, so, I think it's safe to assume he hadn't cared much for our mothers. But he did care for you. I know my dad, and I know how he used to be all those years ago, which kind of concerns me for you, but I'll stay quiet about that. If he stayed with you this long, then he plans to stick it out. I truly believe he cares for you, and if so, I'd like to meet you. If possible, please come to XXX cafe at 1:30 next Friday.

With care, Will Solace.

You didn't realize you were crying till teardrops were dripping off your cheeks.

With a racing heart, you walked over to the calendar. The letter had been later than probably intended, which meant next Friday, was actually tomorrow.

So, it came to the question of whether or not you would go.

You missed Apollo so much. He was right there, and you could hold him and have him as much as you wanted, but you pushed him away. You let your anger blind you, however justified it may be, and ran from the man that loved you most.

Then it was decided. You'd go. You'd meet Will, and you'd force Apollo to apologize.

Now that you were there, waiting outside the cafe anxiously, the plan didn't seem so fool proof. You flattened down the fabric of your summer dress and ran your hands along the strap of your purse, eyes searching for anybody that may resemble Apollo.

Will isn't hard to find, and like his father, the world seems to center itself around him when he's near.

His hair is blonde and curly, just like Apollo's, and falls over his ears and hangs just above his eyes. Piercing blue find yours, and sun-kissed skin shifts to show a blinding smile. You'd expected them to look similar, but not near identical.

He runs over, wearing a pair of shorts and a nice t-shirt, hand raised in a wave. He stops a few feet from you and holds out a hand.

"Will Solace, it's so nice to meet you. Apollo talks a lot about you," he says, eyes bright and cheery. You were sure you would've thought he was annoying if he was anybody else but knowing that this was Apollo's kid (your stepson? No, that was a weird thought) made it sort of endearing.

You found yourself smiling back as you took his hand.

"You mentioned," you say, clasping hands, "I'm Y/N."

"Let's go inside, shall we?"

Turns out, Will is very likeable. Every word is filled with genuine joy, and he listens intently. You can see the resemblance in looks, but he must get this side of himself from his mother. His nose twitches when confused, and his ears go pink when he's embarrassed.

You think it's cute, the way he opens himself up so easily to you. He finds hidden motherly qualities in yourself, that you weren't even sure you had.

That's how you find yourself inviting him to your house, where you fixed him some lemonade and grabbed some cookies from the pantry for the two of you to snack on as you sat on the porch.

Will finished his previous sentence, placing down a half-empty glass of lemonade. His brows are furrowed, and his usual smile is set in a deep frown. You wanted to rid him of it, and ease away any worries, as a mother should.

"Y'know, growing up without Apollo was hard, but I managed. It was my mother that was difficult. She was distant, hardly there. To be fair, she's famous, but it was still hard. She never made cookies--or made me lemonade. I... you're everything I wished for her to be."

When you stayed quiet, staring down at your lap, he stuttered to correct himself. "I'm sorry if that's weird---I, well, --" you tugged him close, cautious of the food.

He was pressed up against your side, and as soon as his skin met yours he melted, and let you hug him close and warm.

"It's not weird."

"Are you sure?" he said, voice quiet, unsure. It was the same tone Apollo had used.

"Certain."

He pressed a bit closer. "I feel like a baby," he laughed, "fifteen-years-old and I'm being held like a toddler."

"It's always good to be held sometimes," you say, rubbing your hand up his arm. He sniffed, and you didn't have to look down to know that he was holding back tears. How had the tone shifted so quickly?

"I'm sorry," he says, voice thick with emotion. He moves to get up, ears tinged pink, "I shouldn't be doing this. You're not even my mother--"

"Stop it. Calm down and relax."

He does, only after you have to forcibly tug him back down. He settles down next to you, and takes deep breaths to push away the tears in his eyes.

You don't know how long the two of you sit there, but your legs are beginning to cramp from being in the same position and Will is letting out soft snores against your collarbone. The sun is sinking into the horizon, and you try not to jump when he speaks.

"You're good with him," Apollo says, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans.

You frown, "you say that like he's a dog."

He looks away and shrugs, "I'm not good with kids, you know that."

"Neither am I," you huff, and your arms tighten around Will.

"I think Will has a different opinion."

"We all do," you say, and look down as Apollo gets closer. He settles beside you and whispers his next words.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what I can do to please you anymore."

You close your eyes and sigh. "Just--stay, okay?"

He nods, "okay."

And he does. Apollo sits there until the sun is gone, his chin on your head, and arms holding both you and Will firmly. You're asleep before you know it, and he's hoisting you both up to bring you inside.

He places Will on the couch with a light blanket, before bringing you to your bedroom. He lays you down, and presses a feather-light kiss to your lips.

"I love you," he whispers, hand holding yours.

Unconsciously, your fingers tighten around his, and he beams.

#apollo #greek mythology #apollo x reader #Apollo x reader pjo #x reader #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #moondrop writes #pjo hoo toa #pjo x reader #percy jackson x reader #fluff #will solace #motherhood

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nights-at-crystarium · 3 months ago

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i just wanted to pop by and gush about how incredibly well written vivi is because GOD. his story unfolding has made me reconsider several story beats about my wol and thats an amazing thing

theres two things that i think uve done especially well with his storytelling, being that vivi feels like an almost complete enigma to the reader, despite how intimate this story is, and the fact that vivi feels incredibly human - almost TOO human to be comfortable with

so to elaborate on the first point - i think a lot of us (and certainly i can) echo thancreds sentiment that he doesn't know vivian rell, because as intimate as this story can get with his pov, in the end, much like someone you'd meet in real life, we don't know much about him before the point we meet him, and any glimpses we get just signal that theres so much more to him than we get to see. and as much as we DO know about him, i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering. to that end i really like how enigmatic uve made him from a storytelling perspective, because it makes him feel so much more real!!! i honestly look forward a lot to learning more fragments (heh) of him and slowly piecing together a puzzle of him as the story goes on. i just want to rotate him in my head lol

but also, this does segue into my other point really well, which is the fact that vivis position as wol really seems to wear on him, and he seems for lack of a better word, completely exhausted! i know (myself included) write their wols with a trait of an almost unbreakable, iron will, which is very much still true in vivis case (again, anyone who gets to the point of shadowbringers without flat out giving up is incredibly strong by default) but showing him at his wits end, exhausted with the burdens of a hero, someone just so throughly *done* with what is, realistically, a pretty shit job is well... yeah! of course he is! he's only human, and he's what, saved the world 3 times now? seen countless die before him, powerless to save them, of course he's numb. the fact that the most defining experiences of the first for him are filled with mostly such... benign experiences, and that the major, climatic moments of shadowbringers get as much fanfare as a forlong gaze, or a like. him hanging out with his fairy bestie is such a cool storytelling decision. (also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot) basically, what i've been gushing about is the fact that vivi feels very much like a whole person, and is probably one of the most well realised wols ive ever read about. and his relationships with the world leaders, and this impossible burden hes forced to shoulder has gotten me to reconsider how i write my wol, because yeah! any hero might be strong-willed and resilient, but theyre still human, and the burden of a warrior of light is maybe, a little too much for anyone to bear.

i hope u could at least make something out of my rambles, but honestly to sum it all up i am incredibly captivated by vivi. i originally read fragments because i like ANY wolgraha content but now, i come back almost exclusively to see how vivi's story unfolds, and how graha eventually comes into the fold too. hes such a fascinating character, and i think youve done an incredible job of creating a well rounded hero, full of humanity!!! (also, if you want, feel free to post this on ur blog!!)

I think I shat myself like 5 times while reading this (positive)

Vivi being an enigma wasn't really part of the plan. We have a pool that's his lore, things I wanna tell, and a bottleneck through which it has to go. The comic format forces me to consider what bits of info to deliver when, there's only so much I can tell at a time. One deliberate choice I made is completely burn the bridge between ARR and ShB, skip, leave it empty. That already sparks questions when we see a different Vivi at the beginning of ShB (and gives me leeway, time to write with more nuance, I didn't Think about HW-SB in such scrupulous detail as ShB).

I wanted to tell a primarily ShB story from the start, but had less ambition, and planned to condense the angsty bits that you're reading nowadays into an infodump told by Vivi to no one (to the reader). Changing the receiving party to a tangible character who's eager to learn (Exarch) made the info easier to digest and anchored it in the world. This change, fwiw, happened in like 2022 while I drew the ARR arc, saw the warm reception, and got more excited about my thing. I constantly learn and try to improve, writing's a new toy that brings me tons of fun.

So, when I learned the new trick - telling things through other characters - I thought, why not make everyone slightly wrong, or rather, with a specific snapshot of Vivi in their head. Same happens irl, people only know the version of you that they're exposed to, the only person who knows the full and real you is you.

That brings me to the next point, why Vivi feels so human: I made him not as a wol/hero, but a guy I wanna ship with Exarch, his foil. Obligatory note it was dumb of me to ignore Emet's existence in that case, but that's already changed. Exarch denies himself the simple human joys, he plots his own fucking death, so I thought I'd give him a guy that teaches him how to enjoy being alive again. That was THE foundation of Vivi, his core. He's a manic pixie dream boy.

Then I started asking how and why: why he falls for Exarch specifically instead of ARRRaha? He's confident, selfish, casual (these traits are what Exarch lacks), emotionally intelligent, where did that come from? He must've had an utterly normal life and loving family before he became a hero. He grew up being appreciated and happy. OH, then his ass must LOATHE the current situation because he can't go back to that normal life! So on, so forth.

i find that every time he does one of his blank, furrowed stares that signal he's thinking something, my brain practically lights on fire trying to figure out what he's considering.

This's me carefully dropping the breadcrumbs and hoping that you notice them, and you go HOLY SHIT BREADCRUMBS, this's so validating ;w; <3 This's overtly called a story hook, though I prefer "door". So far this story's only opened doors, as in hinted at more stuff without immediately showing it. I love it when questions get delayed answers, when you get time to stew on it and build up anticipation, then, when the door finally closes, it's much more satisfying. I keep in mind all the doors I've opened, if something provokes a question, it's by design.

(also before i ramble about this the decision to not even show tesleen is such an excellent decision bc like. it makes sense for him for this to not be such a significant moment. shes just another death, another tally to the thousands hes already seen. or maybe im reading WAYYY too hard into a decision to not highjack this love story with plot)

You're 100% correct!! I'm not retelling the canon ShB story from a default wol pov, this's a custom thing focused on ships, therefore anything that doesn't contribute to said ships gets cut. You may read what's NOT shown as what Vivi doesn't pay attention to.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me, this gave me so much motivation like you wouldn't know ;//////;

#with your help i wrote The Official Vivi Post it seems #vivien rell #replies #fragments feedback #fragments talk #text post

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ssivinee · 11 months ago

Text

✧Elapsed✧

BEBE! Bada Lee x F Reader: Two girls whose families were close at one point, but when their families lost touch, the girls almost forgot the other existed. You are just in time for their party, where you will perform and meet up with the past.

Word Count: 5k

Note: Tatter is portrayed as a MAJOR bitch in this so PLEASE do not take this seriously. this one has also been in my drafts for so long. OH and pov switches in this🤓. everyone's ages are also adjusted to the early 20s. the reader is older than Bada.

TW: Pertains smoking, alcohol usage, catholic religion?????

ANNOUNCEMENT: Reqs are closed for now!

Character Vision Board

"Are you telling me you came home last night, and the first thing you did was party with Haechan?" Yena asks as she sits on your bed with Yunah sitting at your desk, continuing to study for her finals. "I couldn't help it, okay? He asked me while picking me up, and I just went for it."

"Let her be. She came back from a work trip, dude," Yunah rolled her eyes at her sister.

"This is why you never ask Haechan for a favor. You're just gonna party at the end of the day."

You begin to text your cousin as you laugh at the two girls.

This made you laugh. "Dude, these finals are gonna kick my ass; I can already feel it in my bootyhole," Yunah complains, and while her sister gives her a disgusted face, you stifle a laugh, just staring at the two.

"I'm gonna have to head out soon, but you two can just wait for Jieun unnie if you want?" "Nah, I wanna study in the comfort of my room."

"Well, I have to make up a choreo for this week's dance class, so I'm just gonna head out as well."

The sisters began to pack and head out, hugging you as they exited the apartment. You started to change into a black velvet tracksuit set with just a white tank top underneath, then put on some slides as you drove to the studio.

When entering the building, you checked in and went to the room to see Soobin and Jihoon chilling on the black couch. "Hey~ Welcome back," Soobin hugs you as Jihoon continues writing in his notebook. "You can't even look away from the lyrics FOR TEN SECONDS to greet me, your ass," you say as he feels a slap on his head, forcing his cap downward, causing him to sigh.

"My bad, I've been struggling with this song and must finish it by Friday."

"When are you never struggling, dude?" You question as you tie your hair up into a messy bun. With the statement, Hoon flicks you off, causing a laugh to arise. "All jokes aside, why do you need it done by Friday? You never have a deadline for your music."

"It's for Mrs. Lee's birthday party," Soobin says casually, but you grow shocked at the familiar surname. "The Lees?"

"Bada reached out to me through Instagram, telling me she wanted a mini-concert for the surprise birthday party."

You think for a second. You remembered the girl's name but had not heard it for years.

The memories of hanging out with her often were there when you were kids since your families were close, but as you grew up, both sides drifted apart for some unknown reason.

"They said we're all invited too," Jihoon states while quickly writing notes. "Is that so?" You ask, confused, but the two nod in confirmation.

"Well, this weekend is gonna be interesting."

A WEEK BEFORE...

"So why is she coming out with us later rather than now?" Minah questions as she points at me as Bada paces around the room. "She's preparing for her mom's birthday party... Have you not been listening to her the past few weeks?" Lusher counters at the girl, pairing it with a massive eye roll.

"I have to get the invitations out and find some music," Bada mumbled, biting her lip in anxiety. "You still haven't found anyone?" Tatter asks her, and she shakes her head, "Why not try asking Park Jihoon?"

The tall dancer stares at her with a puzzled look as she shows her phone, "Park who?"

"You don't know Park Jihoon?" CheChe asks the older while thumping her forehead. "She barely knows anybody but us. What did you guys expect?" Minah points out while applying her gloss.

"Jihoon is super known on campus for his music. He has songs that aren't provocative, and he does small concerts at parties if you ask and pay him."

Kyma explains as you begin playing a few songs that didn't have the explicit next to them, and Bada admits that she found a good tracklist for the party already, plus she thought her mom would like it. "Alright, I guess I have to reach out."

She DMs Jihoon on Twitter, and thankfully, he responds within a minute.

"Well, he said yes, quick," She told the girls, and Minah shrieked. "We really get to meet Jihoon???" Lusher asks, almost as excited. "Yeah, and he says I don't even have to pay him; he just asked to bring his partners and friends."

"So strangers? Maybe you should ask him for names," Sowoen shares worryingly, and Bada agrees, going back to texting him.

While waiting for Jihoon's list, Bada returned to her computer, checked the lists of people, and sent out invites. That was until her phone got a notification. Since Tatter had her face ID on the phone, she opened it immediately to see Jihoon's friends.

"Bada... you're gonna have to see this," Tatter tells her surprisingly, causing the other girls to look at us curiously.

She rushingly checked the DM to find a list of nine names and saw familiar ones among the eight. "Choi's? Like the ones that used to hang out with us years ago?" Tatter takes Bada's phone and checks the first user, eyes widening. "Is this the Gyuhan Minhyun-oppa used to hang out with?"

The latter grabs the phone out of her hands and looks at the page. "Holy shit, no way," as soon as Tatter connected the dots, Bada checked their names on Instagram. She kept scrolling down to see the final one. "Y/n..." The page was private, but she would always remember that girl.

"Choi Y/n??? As in, the kid you used to hang with?" Tatter asked again as she checked the phone. Bada spaced off, trying to remember my last memory with the girl.

FLASHBACK

"Okay, so we're gonna have the girls line up and hold the basket of flowers; they'll slowly make their way to the altar," the project leader told the families, and the girls could be seen in pretty dresses.

It was for a holiday at church, and the girls had to dress up and get all pretty to walk around the church. Almost all the families were there, but they were missing one. You sat next to Yunah, wearing a velvet pale yellow dress with a white cardigan, while your cousin wore a long sage green dress as Yun was taller then.

Every family was only waiting for one more group, the Lee’s. They were a well-known family who always helped with fundraisers and beauty pageants. So everyone knew that the youngest girl in their family would wear the prettiest dress by far, and they weren't wrong.

Bada Lee entered in a light blue gown-like dress that reached the floor and white mini heels. She had her hair in a braided bun and wore a light pink gloss with mascara. Sure, it was minimalistic, but everyone always found Bada cute. You, on the other hand, were already growing into her features.

You were a year older, and many boys found you attractive. After all, you were a child model at some point, which should say a lot in itself. "Y/n!"

The two hugged, and Bada sat beside the two Choi's. "You look pretty in your dress, unnie," Bada compliments, but all you can do is look down with a whinny face starting to form. "Thanks, but I already wanna rip off the dress and set it on fire."

Bada giggles, but you were so serious deep down. Being at the now, age of 12, self-identity was a struggle.

Not that you hated the dresses. You even felt pretty in them. Still, there were times when they were beginning to become uncomfortable for you.

"Girls, we need a photo of you three, please," The three smiled wide, not knowing that was the last time the two families would see each other.

PRESENT TIME

Neither you nor Bada knew why the families stopped contacting each other. To their knowledge, Bada’s parents and your aunt were close friends, but that was the only thing keeping the two connected.

"So let's do your lines, then the adlibs for this song?" Soobin's voice was snapping me out of my trance. "Yeah," you sip the bottled water and head into the booth where she stayed for almost the rest of the night.

Once the three of you finished and headed home, you opened the door to be welcomed by Jieun unnie setting up the table for dinner. Once she notices you, she rushes forward with a tight hug, "Gosh, it's been so long."

"Unnie... it's been 3 weeks," you tell her sarcastically, and she hits your shoulder with a tiny grin. "Did you call Mom while you were there?"

You stayed silent momentarily, knowing you were about to be scolded whether or not you said the right thing. "Y/n!" "Unnie~ you know Mom is just gonna lecture me about dating a boy instead and tell me to take over the company, so why even stress myself."

She sighs, "Look, I understand speaking to her is frustrating, but one, it's not like you don't like men, and two, all you have to do is text her for her to at least know you're alive."

"I doubt she cares," you mumble as she gathers the last pot of food. Come on, let's just eat and talk about this later.

"Wait, unnie, did you know about the Choi's party?" She nods.

"Jihoon got us all invited," Jieun takes a bite of rice and meat, not noticing the smirk on your face. "So~ you excited to see Minhyun-oppa?" She chokes a little, making you rush to give her water.

"Don't do that~" Jieun keeps hitting me as you laugh. "How about you? You were a little close with Bada when you guys were younger."

Hearing that, you pause for a second. "I honestly don't know how to feel... it's been years, and I'm 95% sure it's gonna be awkward."

"Why do you think that?"

"Well, Bada wasn't the most outgoing either. We were both shy. She only hung out with that Tatter girl while I hung out with Yun and Ye. We only talked when we were comfortable with the people around us. I just know it's inevitable, unnie."

She nods in understanding, and you both continue to eat in comfortable silence.

The next day, you woke up, got ready with some coffee, and headed to the studio. You, Jihoon, and Soobin were working on 2 more songs today, and you had to tweak an individual project before sending it to a large record label. And that's what was done for the next few days leading up to the party.

It was the day before the party, and Tatter went to Bada's house as usual. Bada scrolled on her phone, taking a needed break from the hectic days due to the party planning while Tatter rummaged through the girl's entire closet.

Tatter was usually content with her style, but knowing the Chois were coming put her on the edge for some reason. It seemed like everyone was becoming like that due to them.

Minhyun seemed agitated and made sure he looked good in the mirror every day since Bada told him about the family coming over. Then Sunghoon kept cleaning his room and secretly bought alcohol for him and Haechan.

Bada seemed to be the only calm one in the house right now, not seeing what the big deal was.

"Why are you like this? It's people we used to know as kids, not celebrities or anything."

"That's what you'd think with a private Instagram," Tatter said as she walked out with one of the maxi dresses Bada owned. "But search Y/n on Twitter."

She returns to the closet, and as Bada is about to do what she is told, Minhyun stops by her room. "Does this shirt look good on me?" Bada peaks up at her older brother with a confused yet disgusted look.

"Uh, you look fine?"

"You're literally no help," Minhyun leaves disappointed. At the same time, Bada shrugs her brother's antics off and begins to search, but she finds this massive account just by typing half of your name on Twitter. She sees your partially covered profile pic, but Bada could tell you definitely grew up "nicely."

Maybe sexy was the better word for that.

Though, no matter how hard she looked, she found no other photos of you. You shared paintings, drawings, pottery, photography, and book quotes. Still, the most significant thing was the collaborations you've done.

Bada only discovered that you were a songwriter, producer, and singer. Even working on projects with prominent artists like SZA, Labrinth, Jhené Aiko, Dani Leigh, Giveon, and Khelani.

This intrigued Bada; she never knew you were so artistic. The things you created drew her in without even noticing she was in the depths of your Twitter. "Well?" Tatter comes out with the dress of her choice and sits next to her best friend.

"She's definitely something."

"More than something, she's sexy as hell," Bada knew Tatter was attracted to women. Still, she also knew her best friend had never pursued one. "Are you gonna make a move?"

"Nope, I'm gonna sit there, look pretty, and have her come to me," Bada shakes her head at her best friend's words, "Of course, that's your plan."

"It always works."

Well, let's just see about that.

"Yo, Y/n, what's the fit for the party?" Saerom asks, eyeing you as you stress over the wardrobe choices. Meanwhile, Mia's just chilling on the Choi’s couch, scrolling through her phone.

Mia's rocking dark blue denim shorts, a light blue long-sleeve vibe, and some killer platform sandals. Saerom, on the other hand, is flexing an ivory long-sleeved bodycon dress with off-the-shoulder action, paired with cute baby pink heels.

You, usually the style queen, are surprisingly indecisive today. "Why you lookin' so anxious?" Mia calls her out, but you keep it mysterious, not saying a word. Saerom and Mia exchange raised eyebrows, like, what's going on with you?

Finally, deciding on a fit: baggy ripped jeans, a tight-cropped white v-neck, and a Yankees jersey left unbuttoned. Mia's like, "Seriously? After all that stress, you pick something so casual? Work trip vibes, for real."

You grin, "Hey, sometimes you gotta make it look like you didn't try too hard." Saerom jumps in with a flirty smirk, "Impressive. Trying to keep it low-key, but still looking fine."

You fire back, "Well, what can I say?" Saerom chuckles, "If that's the case, I wanna steal you away for tonight." You laugh, "You know I'd let you, babes," you tell her, slightly joking.

You look at Saerom with a slick gaze. The flirting is nothing new. Mia then gags at the sight, "Can you two like not? At least not until we get to the party?"

You laugh and change, then slip into some air forces, "Are you ready to see her?" Saerom asks. She knew Bada existed in my life, but they were never friends.

As you were in your head, your phone began to ring, and you saw that Yena was calling me. "Yo, wassup?"

"Tell me how I saw Tatter at the store, and we didn't have the greatest interaction," you were taken aback, "THE Tatter? As in Bada’s other half, Tatter?"

"YES, what other Tatter is there?"

"Wait, so what happened?" You went to the kitchen to get a drink and sat on the bar stool. "So I was picking up some iced coffee for Yun and me when I was waiting for my order, and she walked in. Bro, I tried to be friendly, say hi, and ask her how she's been... SHE LOOKED AT ME UP AND DOWN, MADE A DISGUSTED FACE, AND THEN SHE RESPONDS 'I've been fine,' IN THE SNARKIEST TONE IVE EVER HEARD."

You reacted in disgust and scoffed, "Ew, dude." "I KNOW, RIGHT?"

"Just don't talk to her at the party later," You try to reason with her, but all she says is, "I wasn't planning on it," making you laugh. "Alright, I'll see you later, girlie." "Bye~"

You head back into the room and find Saerom applying lip gloss in front of the modern vanity, "What was that all about? I literally heard Yena screaming from all the way here."

"Apparently, she saw Bada's best friend, and it wasn't the greatest interaction." "Oh, what happened?" Mia perks up, loving to hear some tea. When you told them the situation, both of their faces went sour. "Ew."

"That's exactly what I said," you tell them, giggling at the similar reactions. "Makes me not want to go to that party, honestly," Saerom says.

"Hey, she's not gonna be the only one there. Maybe you can hook up with one of her friends," You tease Saerom, and she scoffs. "Please, you know there is only one person who knows how to please me, right," she raises her brow, and you reciprocate the same look, causing Mia to groan, "Ugh, not again, guys."

As the party was already beginning, Bada and her brothers were helping Jihoon set up the stage and equipment. He was the first out of his friends because he wanted to ensure there were no technical difficulties.

"You think appa is doing a good job distracting eomma?" Sunghoon asks his older siblings. "I mean, she hasn't texted us yet, so that's saying something," Bada tells the two, and they laugh in agreement.

"Yo, Soobin and Jaeseok are here. I need to help them get the setup out of the car," Jihoon tells us, walking through the driveway gate.

"So~ You guys ready for the Chois?" Minhyun oppa asks us. "I'm ready for the chaos they're probably gonna bring," Sunghoon smirks. "Kinda ready for some drama, too," Bada shrugs.

"Hey, girl~" Bada looks at the entrance to see her friends walking in with gifts in their hands, "Hey guys, just put everything on that table over there."

Soobin and Jaeseok begin to walk in with large boxes, with Jihoon behind them carrying Mics. "Hey, Soobin and Jaeseok," I say with a wave, and the two boys smile. "Wassup Bada," Soobin greets her with a hug while Jaeseok looks at her, "You grew up nicely, puppy," This causes Soobin to elbow him.

"Don't mind him. It's just Jae being Jae," Bada laughs at this cause of the nickname and knowing Jaeseok never changed as a child. "So when are your cousins getting here?" Minhyun oppa asks as he greets Soobin with a bro hug. "They should be here in about 30 minutes. Maybe 10 for Haechan. The dude can never resist being early to a party."

"He better get here soon 'cause I have whiskey in my room, and it's waiting for him," Sunghoon butts in. Bada rolls her eyes, and the girls help us set up to help with the time.

By our hour deadline, everything was finished, and family began to roll in. Bada went inside to prepare while Sunghoon and Minhyun oppa entertained the guests.

She wore a plaid mini-skirt, a baby pink tee, a white denim jacket due to the breeze, and some plain sneakers. Then, she styled her hair in a simple high ponytail to complete the outfit.

As she returned to the living room, Bada saw all the girls waiting for her, and Tatter excitedly ran up. "They're here. I REPEAT they're here." She moves over to the window in the front and sees two cars with a group coming out of each. That's when her eyes landed on the familiar individual.

As if on queue, her heart begins to race, and the palms of her hands get sweaty. You were even prettier than I imagined you to be... also taller than she thought.

No way she was gonna survive this day without having a tiny panic attack.

The Chois enter through the back, greeted by some Lee family members. "Holy shit, is that who I think it is?" The cousins hear a familiar voice and turn to the backyard door to see the infamous Lee Sunghoon.

"Yo, Hoon! What's up?" Haechan gives him a bro hug. "Dude, long time no see," you greet him with a small hug, "Don't mind me, gonna help Jihoon with final touches."

Sunghoon stares as you walk away and turns back to Haechan, "Bro, she's so fine now."

Haechan's face goes sour, "That's literally my cousin. Shut up, please." "Besides, she likes women more than men," Yena perks up and kills Sunghoon's mood slightly. "You were always so fun, Ye," both give each other a sarcastic smile. "See, that's why Yunah was my favorite."

"You're not my favorite, though," she butts in again, killing Sunghoon's mood. "I'm hurt."

Jaeseok laughs at the interaction, but before anyone can say anything, Bada and her friends come out, and she rushes to the mic. "Guys, eomma is coming home with appa in a minute. So we would appreciate it if you guys get ready to surprise them."

You look to the front of the stage and see the middle child. Safe to say, you were mesmerized by Bada. You couldn't help but check the girl out as she gave the announcement. "Take a picture. It'll last longer," Jieun says as she sips her juice. "I just might," the latter smirked, causing her older sister to choke on the drink and elbow her. "OUCH."

Everyone began to hide, and as people heard the more mature voices, they all got ready in anticipation. "Oh, jagi, did the kids do this for me?" A woman's voice could be heard, and that's when everyone pops out.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" The Lee couple comes into everyone's view, and tears can be seen in Mrs. Lee's eyes. Once she sees this, Bada runs up to her mom for a hug while her siblings are behind her.

This puts a smile on your face, a daughter with a loving mother. Something you wish you had at times. The family then tells everyone to enjoy themselves and go eat.

You then go over to the family and greet their mother with a happy birthday. "Oh my gosh, Choi Y/n? How has the family been?" You smile as you hug her. "My cousins and I have been good, but I'm unsure about my eomma and ajumani." Before the older woman could reply, Jihoon called you over for the song that had to be performed.

"You're gonna sing for me?" Mrs. Lee gets excited and smiles as you nod. "Well, come get a drink later and catch up with Bada." She hugs her daughter, causing you to grin, and says, "I'd like that."

Bada's face forms a rosiness at the seductive tone and lingering gaze.

You hop on stage and smile at the crowd, "Hello, I'm Choi Y/n, and today I'll perform 'Longevity' with my cousin Soobin and best friend Jihoon."

The youngsters crowd around the stage and jam out as Bada joins her friends. "Did you know she can sing?" Kyma asks while jamming, "No, actually."

"Well, she's hella good, too," Lusher says as she jumps. The Lee couldn't agree more with her. Your voice had a raspiness to it, and she noticed Tatter looked like she was about to eat you up.

After a few songs, you and Jihoon stopped as Bada, her friends, her twin, and the Choi cousins went inside to drink since the party in the yard was full of kids and older adults.

The two singers walk in, and the group cheers for them, "You guys were sick as always," Soobine tells them. "Thanks, Binnie." You make a rum and coke, then greet Bada with a wave. "How are you?"

"I've been good," the two give each other a quick side hug, and Bada whiffs your fruit-like scent. You sit near her and beside Yunah, while Tatter sits beside Bada. Jieun, Minhyun, and some older friends were still outside with other guests, not wanting to be with the "youngins."

You all chat a little, even catching up with Bada. The multiple topics discussed led to talk about school. "You're in uni, right? What are you majoring in?"

"English," Y/n pauses, "You seem more like a performing arts kinda girl, no?"

Bada thinks, "I could be pursued to change majors." You smirked at her and were about to tell her how fun it was, but you got a call. Seeing the name causes you to roll your eyes, "Sorry, let me take this call."

You walk out the front door and answer the call, "Yes, eomma?"

"So you weren't even going to invite us to that party?" You scoff and furrow your brows. "It's not my party to invite you to; only Jihoon invited us."

"You're still hanging out with that lazy no future singer? I told you several times to stop being friends with him."

"And I've told you you can't control me like your puppet many times. If that's all you called me for, I will go."

"Wait, Y/n, I'm not finished-" you immediately hung up. The wave of anger washes over you, and you take a puff of the flavored smoke.

"Isn't it bad for a singer to smoke?" You hear a voice behind you, and you turn to surprisingly see Tatter walking over to you. "Eh, I'll manage."

"So~ You did amazing out there, by the way." "Thanks." You cut short, seeing her twirl a strand of hair around her finger. She gives you these seductive eyes, "So, are you seeing anyone right now?"

"Uh, no?" You shift slightly, remembering not liking the story Yena told me about their interaction. "Well, do you maybe wanna go out sometime?"

"No, thank you."

Tatter moves back in shock, "Wha- what, why?"

"Not really looking for anything right now," You make up on the spot, and she smirks, "This could be a casual thing?"

"Again, no, thank you," you head back into the house, leaving her there. As you sat back in my seat, Tatter was storming into the house, angrily making her way up the stairs to the second floor. Bada's face is painted in concern, "let me go check up on her."

After she leaves your side, you decide to get food with Yena and catch up with Gyuhan and Minhyun. As you ate some noodles, Bada came out and said, "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?"

She pulls you to the side as you continue to eat, "Can I ask what happened between you and Tatter? She told me not to worry about it, but I just wanted to ensure it was all good."

"Your friend tried to make a move on me, and I said no," you say bluntly. "Sorry to say, but my cousin and her didn't have the best interaction, and I didn't want to deal with that."

"That's fair, actually. I thought it was worse than that."

"Sorry about her, though," you wave her off as if it wasn't her fault. "Wait, you like girls?" You pause at the sudden question, "Yeah."

"How'd you know?" You stare at Bada for a few seconds, "Are you questioning your sexuality, Bada?"

She plays with her hands in nervousness, "Kind of." You smile at her, "And that's okay. You have to go through with it yourself. Someone usually makes you realize it, though."

"I see," she thinks for a second, "We should go back to drink a little bit."

"Sure," you giggle at her nervousness.

After a few hours, everyone had a few drinks, and you could tell Bada was feeling it as her flirtiness became bolder after every sip of the alcohol. She would caress your arm if you made a joke, stare at your eyes and lips, biting her lips after her little giggles.

It almost drove you mad.

You excuse yourself to use the bathroom and go upstairs. After doing your business, you washed my hands. You heard a knock on the door, "Hold on!"

As you dry your hands, you open the door to find Bada rushing inside. "I need to know if I like girls now."

You stood there shocked, almost not knowing what to say, "How do you want me to help you?"

The two of you stood there for a few seconds as you waited for an answer when suddenly Bada grabbed your face and aggressively kissed you.

Your eyes widened open in shock. You couldn't reciprocate fast enough as she pulled away. "Are you not okay with this? Like I can always stop-"

Without another thought, you pulled her in by the waist as your lips attacked hers. Your bodies generate some heat, and you carry her hips to set her on the sink counter.

"I've been waiting for this ever since I walked through that gate," you mumble into her lips. You feel a smirk form on her lips and think more devious because of this. Your tongue made its way to hers, showing clear dominance as it played with hers. The wet feeling makes it difficult for either of you to keep your hands off each other.

Bada moaned at the feeling, grinding her hips onto your body as she pulled you closer, wrapping her arms around your neck. Your hands placed themselves on her waist, and Bada almost whimpered at the feeling of your grip. You bit down on her bottom lip, slightly, and moved your way to her neck.

The girl bit her lip, trying to keep in any whimpers or moans that could possibly leave her mouth, trying to make the least amount of noise. Your hands were about to unbutton her skirt, but you paused as you both heard Tatter's voice outside the bathroom, making you pull away slightly. "Will your friend be okay with this?"

"She doesn't have to know," Bada says, causing you to smirk. "I didn't know you were so naughty, Bada," you teased, and she smiled.

You help her fix up, knowing people would look for you two. You adjust Bada's top with your long fingers, pulling the shirt down a little as she stares at herself in the mirror. "Well, did I help answer if you liked girls?"

"Oh, most definitely."

Fun Fact: this was originally a Yeji fic🙈.

Taglist (OPEN): @bada-lee-ily @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog @tikitsune @nimixe @lorenztired @sammybeefangirls @cephox @1luvkarina

#ssivinee #street woman fighter 2 #bada lee #swf2 #bada lee x reader #street woman fighter x reader #bebe #bada lee x y/n #bada lee x fem reader #bada x reader #swf 2 x reader #swf 2 #swf2 x reader

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from-now-on-im-switzerland · 1 year ago

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Oh mah God, your jasper fanfics are so stinking cute! A continuation of the baseball one would be perfect!

Like maybe after hanging out with her the feelings get stronger and he decides to distance himself in worry, and the reader, albeit confused, respects him and is a little heartbroken. Maybe at one point he worries about her for a moment when Emmett tells her she didn't look well (she's sleep deprived from stressing about him but trying to keep it to herself) so he pulls a creepy (can't find a better word) Edward and shows up outside her room and senses her heartbroken ness and feels like he has it too but brushes it off thinking it's just hers instead of his own. She starts getting closer to the wolfs and he tries acting like it doesn't bother him and pretends he could care less when she starts sitting with them in the cafeteria after he shows back up at school. And it's not until Alice has a vision of her getting discovered by volturi and "ended" that he starts keeping an eye on her again, and when a guard of the volturi blends in at the school and he notices does things begin and yeah....or something like that lol take the idea into your jar of boredom writing or something 😂

I feel like you'd write this perfectly! And spot on with the jasper and his accent..

Uhm...YES!? You're so creative this is such a good idea. I should be doing my college coursework right now, but this is all I'll think about so I'm doing it right now!! Also forgive the gammer ��😫

Okay, it won't be a DIRECT continuation of the Baseball one-shot bc it's already part of of a different fic I'm writing. I'm just gonna take out Y/n's friends but the baseball game still happened okay?

(sorry 🙏) (I don't know if that made sense.)

>I just like the cold.

>Jasperxf¡reader

>As I said, not a direct continuation but instead the start of a new series? (lmk)

>could be a tad longer that what I'd usually write 🥲

>TW, Panic Attack

°Jasper's POV°

When I saw her eyes for the first time, in that cramped hallway, I melted inside. My icey veins (filled with the venom that could end her life in an instant) were fueled with warmth as they must've once been long before. And that all too familiar burning sensation at the back of my throat hasn't left me alone since I caught her scent for the first time.

I thought it was just me being hungry. I hadn't eaten that day and it could've been that she just had tasty smelling blood. But knowing my luck, that obviously wasn't it. I can't put my family through this again, I just can't. I've tried to maintain a friendship with her for the fair few weeks she's been here but it's getting harder and harder.

I can't believe I was once angry or annoyed with Edward for falling for a human. I guess karma's a bitch huh? Y/n has no clue about my feelings, I hope. Why would I tell her? So I think it's best, for her safety if I just stop being friends with her. It'll keep her so much safer I know it will.

"I thought that too" Edward said, appearing in the corner of my room.

I didn't jump, I heard him race up the stairs.

"What?" I asked, annoyed I was interrupted by Mr Thought Police himself.

"About Bella. Remember when we left for half a year? And I left her? I thought it'd make her happy. Safe. But it took us both almost dying for me to realise we were safer together.." Edward said, reminding me of the very thing I wanted to try and avoid.

"But that's you, Eddie. You and Bella, by then she already loved you, by then she knew the risk and by then it was too late for stupid mistakes. I'm in a grey area right now, where she doesn't know a damn thing and I just want to keep her safe." I said, sighing as I heard Emmett approach my room aswell.

"Bro, she really likes us.." Emmett said, racing over to the other corner of my room. "I mean for some reason you specifically, but she's told me! We're actually like best friends now so if you want me to be the middle man..just let me know." He said, winking.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, I've seen you together before, walking around the school. You've been especially close ever since you almost abliterated her head with a baseball...but oh well."

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy, Jasper?" Emmett teased. Edward laughed as he joined our brother over at his side of my room.

"No Emmett you don't, because I have no right to be jealous in the first place, she's not mine to be jealous over." I said, not meeting thier eyes.

"But you want her to be." Edward said.

This drew my attention as I looked up and saw his face. Care and amusement radiating off of him.

"I'm glad you find my dilemma so amusing, none of us ever laughed at you, you moody asshole" I said, throwing a pillow full force in his direction.

He caught it. "It's just funny to see how much of a little boy you're being about something that is so crystal clear" he said, tossing back the pillow.

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" I asked, fed up now.

"She's your singer. Just like Bella was mine. I've heard your thoughts, they're too loud to ignore. That feeling? that burning? It's nothing you've felt around anyone else is it?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, but I don't want to have to go through the same old debate of “do we turn her or not” and that's even if she feels the same way.." I said.

"Dude, you're literally an empath. You can find out yourself" Emmett said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I hate using my gift on her as it is. The thought of manipulating her in any way makes my skin crawl, alright? If it's to help her then I can deal with it but I won't just use it to be nosy, that's not fair" I said. "you can still be friends with her if you want Emmett but I can't do it. I won't let myself drag her into this life. I know you wanted the same thing for Bella, Edward but maybe I can make it happen for Y/n. If anyone deserves a blessed life, it's her." I said, walking out my room, speeding out the house and into the forest to clear my head.

I just need to keep away from her. I'll keep her safe that way.

°Reader's POV°

This week had been..strange. Emmett had been even more friendly then he usually was; it was perhaps due to the fact that he could've killed me the other week with that baseball, but y'know, life goes on. And at no point had I even had a chance to speak to Jasper. Even in class, he'd moved seats. Of course, that was his last resort after they wouldn't let him change his lesson plan.

It ached my heart a little because, I really liked him and for some reason it's like a flip had been switched in his brain and he no longer wanted anything to do with me. It was Friday, and I was determined to atleast get a conversation with him.

While Emmett was babbling on about something to do with gorillas, I interrupted him. "Emmett when did you..uh...see Jasper last?" I asked.

"last I saw he was with Rose and Bella in the cafeteria.." I saw a small glint in his eye as he answered. "But..i don't think he wants to talk to you.." he said just as I began to walk off.

"Have I done something wrong? Did I say something? Is he..is he mad at me for something? Why won't he speak to me?" I rattled off a few of the questions I'd kept to myself all week.

"Woah, calm down. It's..." he hesitated. "it's not my place to say but I think he might just be trying to avoid talking to you because he knows if he does, he won't be able to not talk to you. " he said, in a really confusing tone.

"You've complicated this way too much than you needed to. Is he still there now?" I asked reffering to where he said he saw him.

"Pretty sure, yeah."

I took off without a thank you, which I felt bad about, but I was too focused on getting that conversation with Jasper.

I was almost running to the cafeteria, as I knew the bell was going to ring at any moment. I made it in the cafeteria and spotted him immediately, and he saw me too. His eyes met mine for less than half a second, before he looked to the floor.

He left his conversation with his sisters and went to walk out the opposite way that I was coming in. I ran this time, and caught up to him.

"Hey! What's going on? Have I done something?" I asked, needing answers.

He audibly sighed and closed his eyes, breathing in. "No, you haven't. You haven't done a thing, I promise." He said, and began to walk away again. I moved infront of him to stop him from walking away.

"Don't walk away from me, I wasn't finished. If I haven't done anything then what's the issue? Why can't you talk to me I want to be here for you." I tried to take a hold of his hands but he wouldn't let me touch him. And he didn't meet my eyes, he refused to even look at my face.

"Because...Y/n" I heard his voice shaking. "I just can't be around you, it's not your fault, you're not the reason why I just-" he paused, and bit his inner lip. "I just can't okay?" he said, pushing past me. He sped off down the hall not looking back, leaving me behind.

The bell rang through the halls, louder than I'd ever heard it before. It started to hurt my ears but my eyes couldn't pull away from his figure.

Tears swirled in my eyes as I watched him walk off, and my breath quickened. Then, what I feared, that feeling tightened up in my chest. No. Not a panic attack. I can't, not at school. I took one last look at Jasper walking off before racing back out of the cafeteria and into the school parking lot.

The cold air hit me like a kind wave, and the small droplets of rain coated my face as I looked up at the sky, desperaty wanting it to swallow me whole. It was a small sense of relief before the feeling washed back in like the tide. I ditched my backpack and jacket, throwing them on the floor, needing the coldness on my skin. I tried to slow my breathing down but it wasn't working. I made my way down the steps, now in a short sleeve t-shirt, tripping slightly on the last step as I made my way across the lot. My breathing wasn't slowing and I couldn't stop it, I guess I'd just have to ride it out.

"..Y/n?" I heard from the trees.

I span around, my breath not halting and my panic increasing. As my heart rate was about to rocket even more, Seth Clearwater stumbled out from the trees. I had met him a few times, he and his friends all the way down at the Reservation were good friends with the Cullens.

"Seth?" I aksed, I didn't want to start hallucinating people. That would be a whole new area for me that I wouldn't be able to keep up with.

He made his way over to me. "Yeah, it's me. It's Seth. What's going on? Hey...hey" he was inches away from me now. I tied to move away but he stepped closer in fear I was going to somehow hurt myself. My tears wouldn't stop and my head was looking very which way "Y/n. Look at me."

His order sent a small shockwave into me for a second and I snapped my eyes up, his face blurred due to the tears streaming from my eyes. He took his thumbs and wiped under my eyes, but new tears replaced the stains he wiped away.

"Breathe with me okay?" he asked.

I wanted to try, there's nothing I hate more than this shit. But sometimes you can't help but just ride out the attack until it's done. I nodded my head vigorously and he began to breathe, waiting for me to follow suit.

"Okay in..." he took a breath in and let it out softly. "..and out.."

I tried my best to follow suit but my throat needed as much air as it could get. And it kept speeding up the pattern.

"No Y/n with me, c'mon you got this.." he said, holding my hands.

"In.." he breathed in once again and I followed suit. "and out" he breathed out again.

Slowly but surely my breathing returned to a somewhat normal pace but my shaking didn't stop.

"there you go.." he continued the pattern as he slowly walked me over to a stone wall, and sat me down.

"You're freezing, Y/n." he said, touching my cheek after wiping yet another tear..

"I'll be fine..I like the cold when these things happen.." I laughed slightly, to ease the awkwardness, if there was any.

"I know, it helps a lot doesn't it?" he said, sitting down next to me.

"wait, you've-"

"yep" he cut me off, with a sheepish smile. "I get it. You're inside somewhere when that ugly feeling hits. You beeline it for the nearest exist and the air just gives you something else to feel. It doesn't stop it, but it definitely helps. The cold, it..it helps you feel something different other than that thing in your chest.." he said, describing what it was like for him.

I nodded along as he said so. "yeah..that's...exactly it." I smiled.

He looked up from staring at his feet and smiled back at me, before frowning. "Y/n your lips are slowly going blue, I know how much the cold helps but I won't let you catch hypothermia.." Seth said, pulling me into his chest and offering me a hug.

He was so so warm. It wasn't a stuffy warm either, the kind of warm where you feel sticky. It was that cozy warmth. That homely warmth on a winter morning.

I shivered in his arms at the contact. "Oh..jeez your pretty hot. Are you ill or something?" I asked.

He chuckled slightly. "No Y/n, I'm just a warm person.." he admitted.

"C'mon, let's get you back inside.." he said, rising us up to our feet.

"No!" I wriggled out of his grip, my heart fluttering again, in slight panic. I feel if I see him again today, I'll get worse.

He took hold of me again gently. "Okay..I'll take you home yeah? We just gotta grab your stuff that you graciously dumped on the stairs.." he said, smiling.

I laughed slightly as we walked slowly over to the steps. He jogged up them and picked up my stuff. He placed my jacket over my shoulders and carried my bag over to my car.

He walked confidently over to the drivers seat.

"I swear you're like..16 can you even drive?" I asked, a smile paying on my lips.

"I'm 17 now actually. And it's fine don't worry, hop in" he said, unlocking the car with my keys he must've taken from my pocket.

We got in the car and threw our seat belts on.

"Thanks for this Seth. Aren't you missing a lesson right now though?" I asked, I didn't want to ruin his education.

"Oh nah, me and the boys are on a part time timetable for this school and the one down by the Rez, so don't worry about it...anyways.....where's the handbreak?"

My eyes shot in his direction only to see him holding in a laugh.

"Uh. What do you mean where's the handbreak?" I asked.

He finally giggled. "Don't worry, I'm just joking. We'll be fine. I've never been to your house though, so you can be my sat nav" he smiled turning on the car, and pulling out of the car park.

°Jasper's POV°

I walked away from her. Every fibre of my being telling me to look back. I fought against it, but gave in. I looked back and saw a glimpse of her as she rushed out of the cafeteria.

What am I doing?

I felt the dread and panic leaking from her as I started to walk away. And I just left her. I left her feeling that way. I know I'm doing this to keep her safe but I can't pretend that I'm perfect, leaving her in fear.

Special thanks to my power, I'm extremely sensitive to even my own emotions and with years of practice I've managed to get a good control of it, but Y/n..I feel her emotions so much more than anyone else's.

My still heart is telling me not to go near her, to keep her safe...but her scent, as much as it tempts me, it deals me a great source of comfort..I can't explain it. I'm near her and I feel safe. I'm a monster and have nothing to fear really, but in her presence it's like we're the only two on earth.

Which is why I must do this. I can't that let angel be manipulated by the devil deep inside me. I won't allow it.

I let out the breath I was holding in during that encounter, again not that I needed to, but I think people would notice if I wasn't breathing. I made my way to the science block and yippee! I was next to Sire Brain Detective and his wife.

I was waiting outside the classroom to catch Bella before Edward got there. I caught her scent in the hallway and rushed to her side.

"Hey Bella, can you just maybe kinda block my thoughts from Edward please?" I asked, a sheepish smile following close behind.

"Why?" She asked, squinting her eyes a little.

"Well you've never had the problem, but Edward is very nosy. And I'd just like my thoughts kept to myself for today." I said.

We kept on walking into the classroom and to our seats.

"So it's nothing to do with Y/n then?" she quizzed.

Even hearing her name makes me feel sick.

"No. Bella..just please can you do it?" I was begging her at this point as I smelled Edward down the corridor.

She looked up as she caught his scent too. "Okay, but you owe me" she said.

"Thanks Bella." I said.

Edward walked in the class and met my eyes immediately, a hint of confusion crossed his face before he sat down next to his wife and realised. "Oh c'mon how is that fair?" he said.

"How is what fair?" Me and Bella said at the same time. We looked at eachother breifely before opening out books as instructed to.

°Reader's POV°

Awkward, sweaty and sleepless. That's all I feel right now. I close my eyes and he's there. I open my eyes an he's all I can imagine. Everything I tried, I couldn't get him off my mind. I even tried counting sheep, but the sheep soon morphed themselves into horses, then I soon saw him riding a horse, actually imagining him as a Cowboy. I snapped my eyes open and drank some water I left by the side of my bed, before making a last attempt to get some sleep.

After what seemed like hours of tossing and turning in the same directions over and over again, I got up and opened my window. Again, the cold air washed over me and it was almost instant relief. Just like Seth said, it gives you something else to feel.

I watched the trees as they swayed in the wind, thier green leaves brushing against eachother at each breeze. Out of all the places my Mum had placed me while she did her book tour, Washington was probably my favourite so far, well specifically Forks. Since the beginning of the year, (when my Mum's book tour started) I'd been placed in a random city in the state she needed to visit, and Forks was this really nice and small town. Where everyone knew everyone. Of course, the thought of litteraly everyone talking about me as the new arrival didn't appeal to me at all, but when I had moments to myself, it was impossible for me not to gawk at the nature around me. The grey skies, while annoying to some, gave me a nice comforting feeling. The rain, which everyone hated, was my favourite weather. I don't know what it was.. I guess I just like the cold.

I was pulled from my thoughts as my phone buzzed under my pillow. It was my mum calling, I answered of course, but I wandered why she was calling at 4am.

"Mum? what's up?" I asked, trying to hide my tired voice.

"Oh my god Y/n I'm so sorry.. I forgot about the time zones...go back to sleep, I'll ring you at a better time.." she said.

"wait what do you mean the time zones? you're in Washington too?" I questioned, wandering what she meant.

"No..honey, that's why I called. I got to my hotel and they said they had my reservation booked for next year, so they flew me out to the state I was supposed to be in." She said, sounding ashamed. "I tried to mention you, and say how I could catch my own flight..but.. they-they wouldn't listen to me..."

"Mum... Mum it's okay, don't worry about it I'll be fine okay? Just make me proud." I said.

"but I only gave you enough money to last a couple months not over a year..nearly two! And you're in your last year of school, what will you do all day? How-"

"Mum" I cut her off "I'll get a job, it'll be fine. You've been doing book tours since I was like 15, I know how to live on my own." I said.

"but that was when you were 5 minutes down the road...or a bus drive away..now I'm on the other side of the country!" She panicked.

"wait, the other side of the country? where did they fly you to?" I asked. The phone went silent for a few seconds before she answered.

"I'm in Georgia, honey.." She said. "I called you as soon as I had time, I'm sorry I've left you there, I can book a flight and cancel the tour-"

"-No, Mum don't. I'm not gonna pretend hearing you were in Georgia didn't scare me a little bit, but I'm perfectly fine here in Forks. I like it here.." I said honestly.

"but honey-"

"No 'buts'." I said. "Mum some kids leave the nest at early ages, some never leave..maybe it's my time to make a life for myself.." I said, with tears threatening to spill.

"I-in Washington, are you sure?" Mum's voice was shaking by now.

"Mum, I'm old enough. I know it's scary, it'll be difficult too but.. sometimes life just throws you in a new direction and you can't help but see where it takes you.." I said, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one full of wisdom little lady" she joked. "well...I guess it isn't the craziest idea you've had." she said, sadly.

"so yeah?" I asked.

She took a deep breath "Yes Y/n, yes. Start your life.." she said.

"Okay.." I said.

It wasn't long before I was off the phone and trying to sleep again. I prayed when I rested my head on the pillow, he wouldn't plug my mind, but much to my dismay he returned and my heart ached.

I closed my eyes and managed to drift off to sleep just before my alarm rang for me to start getting ready for school. The ringing of the bell threw me back to that moment. That moment he left. Just like that.

°Emmett's POV°

Since the day Jasper told Y/n that he couldn't be near her anymore, she hasn't been in. And I'm worried about how she's taken it.

I didn't tell Jasper I was gonna go pick Y/n up today as I didn't want him to go all emo and be like “ugh you're gonna smell like her all day!” so I instead took my absolutely, positively, non-judgemental wife.

"So why are we on our way to a humans house right now?" Rose asked me from the passenger's seat of my jeep. "what purpose is she serving us other than pleasing our noses?"

"Babe, she's my friend..and I'm worried about how she is. She didn't come in at all last week since Jasper didn't want anything to do with her, and I'm not gonna let my idiot of a brother be the reason she fails school.." I said, keeping my eyes on the road.

Rose went silent and looked out the window. "Just let me know when we're there.." she said, closing her eyes.

"That would be now.." I said, pulling up outside her house.

I got out the jeep while Rose stayed in, and made my way to the front door. I hesitated before knocking and waited for an answer. A good minute went by, so I knocked again and as I did, the door flew open.

"I told you three times already, Mrs Henderson doesn't live here anym-" she cut herself off when she saw my amused face.

She rubbed her eyes. "Emmett?"

"The one and only!" I replied.

"What are you doing here?" her voice was drained, and she looked a lot less bubbly than before. Her eyes drooped slightly and dark circles hung below them from lack of sleep.

"To get you to school, missy!" I said, not wanting to comment about the elephant in the room.

"But Emmett, Jasper said-"

"Fuck what Jasper said, it's your life and it's your school too. What..just because he's being a little bitch right now that means you can't get educated? I don't see how that's fair.." I said, crossing my arms.

She rolled her half-lidded eyes. "Okay, let me get changed.." she said, turning back into her house and shutting the door.

I celebrated my victory behind the wood of the closed door and waited for her to open it again. I sat on the step and prepared to wait, when the door swung open again. She stepped out with all her stuff. "C'mon then, let's go." she said, plastering on a fake smile.

"I thought you were atleast gonna cook some breakfast? It's like half seven in the morning..." I said, standing up and leading her to the jeep.

"Nah...not hungry." she said, climbing in.

I got in too, and put the radio back on.

"Hey Rosalie" Y/n said, tiredly a sheepish smile across her face.

My head quickly turned to my wife and I begged her with my eyes to be nice. But she didn't even look at me and instead looked for Y/n in the wing mirror.

"Jasper's an idiot, but he cares about you and he's doing this for your own good, I'd take it as a win." she said, before closing her eyes again and turning up the radio.

I started the jeep up again after a small awkward silence with nothing but the music blaring and began to drive to the school.

"yeah but does he know how much it's actually hurting?" Y/n whispered, any normal person wouldn't have heard it but of course me being a beautiful, immortal, gifted being...I did.

Passing through the familiar streets of Forks, it didn't take me long to get to the school, I parked the jeep and Rose got out. I turned around in my seat to face Y/n. Her sleep-deprived look catching me off guard once again.

"You ready girl?" I asked, grinning.

She sighed. "Not really, Emmett" she replied sadly, staring at a particular stone wall in the car park.

"Well c'mon, you got this. Let's go" I said, getting out.

It wasn't long before she climbed out herself. As she shut the door.

"Thanks for dragging me in Emmett, but I'm gonna go incase he appears from around the corner or something.." she said, with low energy as she dragged her feet toward the doors of the school.

°Reader's POV°

I couldn't thank Emmett more, I wouldn't have been able to get here on my own accord. It's just a shame I didn't have the energy to express my gratitude to him as much as I wanted to.

It was about 10 minutes until my first lesson so I walked to the cafeteria to get a drink. As I opened the doors, I saw Seth and some of his friends from the Rez sat at a table and so I wasted no time in going over there.

"What are you lot doing here?" I asked.

"Part time, time-table in each school! How do you keep forgetting that?" one of them said.

"Uhm..Seth?" I looked to him for help, I could barely remember any of the other's names.

"Alright, sit down." he pulled a chair from the table behind him and turned it next to him, facing their table. "Here we have Quil, Leah my sister, and Embry." he said.

I had only met the rest of them once but Seth I had seen a number of times, and he's who I was closest to...now for a very obvious reason.

"So what's your first lesson?" Quil asked.

"Science.." I said quietly, biting the inside of my cheek afterward to simmer down the anxiety I felt creeping in.

I started boucing my leg too, which Seth took notice to. He offered me a smile, which I returned, weak as ever.

The bell rang, louder than before, and I covered my ears, burying my head down against my chest. Each time I hear that bastard bell it gets louder and louder, and the memory of that last conversation with him gets clearer and clearer in my mind.

°Jasper's POV°

"I'm telling you man..she's-"

Emmett would not stop. I told him I didn't want to hear it, but he was following me all over our house, not leaving me alone.

"her eyes don't look the same, she doesn't have nearly as much energy as she used to, I haven't seen her smile, and if I'm being honest I don't think she's eating properly.." Emmett said.

Hearing his words made my non-beating heart ache.

"I've been picking her up all week and she never eats breakfast, and when was the last time I saw her eating in the cafeteria? Uhh let me think, I haven't!" he said, in my face.

I was looking at the floor, guilt riddling my body. She's like this because of me.

"I get it. Emmett. Okay?" I spat, my voice quavering.

He moved back slowly, almost realising that this was hurting me too, and left my room.

After staring out the window for another moment or two, I sped off out the house before anyone could question it. I ducked and dived between branches, breaking them if they were too big for me to dodge. I raced through the woods rembering the route to her house when I met her before school, when we first started to talk to each other. I ran to her. Wondering what I was going to do when I got there, would I beg her to forgive me? Would I stop this madness and just tell her everything? At this point, I couldn't see anything but her angelic face, and hear her sweet voice and before I knew it, I came to a swift stop by the trees of her house.

I approached it slowly, still deciding what to do, until I lingered by the side of the house where her bedroom was. I climbed up a tree that rested just by it and waited to see her or atleast hear her.

"fuck sake..just go away!" I heard her complain as she slammed the door to her bedroom. "You don't want anything to do with me so why won't you get out of my head!" She panicked, her voice wailing as she spoke.

"It's not fair.." she said after a minute of silence. She got up. "It's not fair." she repeated. She tossed her chair on the floor. "It's not fair!" she threw a picture frame against the wall. She repeated those three words, growing more aggressive each time and trashing a new part of her room until she ran out of energy.

She breathed heavily and sunk against the wall, sobbing. She cried, and it was like a thousand hot knives were cutting me all over. She cried and I had to fight as hard as I could not to rush in there.

She cried and I felt heartbreak. My breath quickened too, as her emotions laced with my own. Sat in the tree in that moment I didn't know which emotions were mine and which were hers.

She cried and cried until she fell asleep, and that's when some of her emotions filtered away from my body. Though she fell asleep and tears were still staining her cheeks, the aching in my heart wouldn't leave or subside. It stayed.

#twilight #twilight saga #twilight headcanon #edward cullen #jasper hale #alice cullen #bella cullen #jasper hale x reader #jasper whitlock hale #rosalie cullen #y/n #jasper hale fanfiction #seth clearwater #leah clearwater #embry call #quil ateara

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ivycjl · 5 months ago

Text

So High School

Summary: Benny and your first kiss (high school sweethearts)

Reader is kind of a micromanager

Benny totally likes her she's just too anxious to notice

Not a really big warning but reader has some mild anxiety and self deprecating thoughts.

Lmk if it's okay! I've been sitting on this idea for a while and this is my first time writing! It was originally in a different pov and tense, so sorry in advance for any continuity mistakes! If someone has already posted something with the same trope/title I am soooo sorry I promise there was no plagiarism involved 😭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Benny, pay attention.”

He had been tapping his pencil on the desk for half an hour, notebook blank. “Hm?” He raises his eyebrows. You slide your notebook over to him and whisper, “Write.” He sighs and starts copying notes on chemistry.

Benny was your life long best friend, no matter how much your parents disapproved. You two were always going to be in it together. He's told you countless times over the years that you should stop hanging around him, ditch him for your other friends. What Benny didn't know was that you needed him. Needed his soft laughs and attentive eyes, his hard exterior that hid a sweet heart. He didn't know you loved him and never would, because you don't think he loves you the same way.

You're best friends, sure, but Benny’s into tougher girls, ones that are more eager to get in trouble. The smokers, drinkers, occasional drug users. You're simply not his type. And even if you were, you didn't think he would want to mess up your friendship. You'd never told all this to anyone.

The teacher’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, reminding the class about the test the next day. The end of senior year was getting closer and closer, grades becoming more important now than ever. You look over at Benny, who had conveniently not copied down a single thing. You sighed in time with the bell marking the end of the day.

“Fuckin’ finally,” he laments. You shake your head and pack up your things. Benny always walks you to your car at the end of the day, insisting that he see you go before he gets on his own motorcycle.

Once you got to the parking lot, you ask him, “Hey, are you gonna be okay for the test?”

He furrows his brow. “What test?”

You give him a look. Seriously?

He starts laughing. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

You laugh at him before saying, “Are you sure? I'm pretty sure you've been zoned out in that class since January.”

You had reached your car. He smirks. “Well, if you're so worried about it, why don't I come over and we can study for a while?”

Your stomach twists. “You don't have anything better to do?” You ask, teasing him.

He leans in a little, thumb brushing over the back of your hand. “No.”

You suck in a breath. Damn him. “Okay, then. My parents are leaving for a thing at 8, so come by around 8:15.”

He just nods , a slight smile on his lips. You quickly kiss his cheek. “Bye, Benny.”

“See you later.”

You get in your car and drive off, head racing with thoughts of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

8:15 came by quickly. You had the whole unit divided into sections of notecards, each one containing the most important topics of the lesson.

Your parents were at some work dinner, giving you the perfect opportunity to have Benny over. They didn't exactly like him.

The doorbell rang, and you make your way down the stairs and open the door for Benny. “Hey,” you smile.

“Hi.”

You usher him into the foyer and up the stairs. “We've got a lot to cover if you're going to be caught up for this, so you better pay attention. I have 5 sections of notecards and if you're really not getting it I've got the textbook. Okay?”

“Alright,” he says, sitting down at your desk chair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An hour and a half. It had been an hour and a half and he was messing up this whole thing. At first he was doing decently well, but the he started to get bored. He would mess with things on your desk and purposefully give the wrong answers.

“Benny, are you even listening to me right now?”

He contemplates it for a minute. “Not really,” he shrugs.

You sigh. “Well if there's nothing I can do to make you focus, then I guess we're done.”

He stops tossing whatever trinket he has from your desk. “I have a better idea.”

“And what is that?” You say, rolling your eyes.

He smirks. “Why don't we play a little game?”

“A game?”

“Yeah, a game. Every time I get one right, you owe me a kiss.”

Your heart stops for a second. What?

“Um….a-a what?” You sputter.

A sly smile grows on his face. “You heard me.”

You steel yourself. “Fine.” This should be easy since he hasn't been paying attention. He won't get a single one of these right.

“What is a molecule with a charge called?”

“An ion.”

Your jaw drops a little. “Well, did I get it right?”

“Um…yeah. Let's-let's just keep going.”

“Fine by me,” he smirks.

As Benny answered question after question correctly, something became clear to you.

He knows. He knows and he's trying to embarrass you. He just wanted to play this ‘game’ to see how desperate you were. He’s probably going to tell all his friends at school tomorrow about how ridiculous you are for falling in love with someone who so clearly doesn't want you.

Your face heats up and you snap the textbook shut. “I think that's enough for the night.” You stand up from your bed.

Benny’s stupid smirk was still stuck on his face. He slowly rises and meets you in the middle of your room. His face seems so close to yours. “Can I cash in on my prize now?”

You look down and take a deep breath to try and calm yourself. Before he can do anything, you give him a friendly kiss on the cheek like you had done so many times. Like you had done earlier that day. “There.”

You can feel your heart breaking a little. You just wish he wanted this for real. “Oh, no, sweetheart. That's not what I want.”

Everything seemed to stop for a minute as your gaze snaps to his. “What?”

His pretty blue eyes slowly travel down to your lips and then back up. It felt like someone had knocked all the air out of your lungs. His face seems impossibly close to yours. “I was thinkin’ maybe…maybe you could give me more of a real kiss,” he whispered.

There's no way. You look up at him for reassurance. His eyes looked so vulnerable. Benny slowly nodded, and before you knew it his lips were on your own. His hands held your waist, and you let your own hold his face, feeling his beard scruff and the soft hair around his ears. It was amazing.

He tucks your hair behind your ear as you pull apart, then rests his forehead on your own. You could feel his breath.

You open your eyes to something you never thought you'd see; Benny looking down at you with nothing but love. “Oh my God, you weren't kidding.”

He keeps one hand on your waist as the other threads through your hair. “Why would I be kidding?” His brow furrows, and you laugh.

“Just…nevermind.”

“Okay,” he chuckles before leaning in again. Right as your lips were about to connect, you hear the front door open. Shit.

You gently push him off of you. “You've gotta go.”

He looks like he's about to protest before hearing your parents' voices.

“We're home!”

He rushes towards the window, quickly opening it and climbing out onto the garden trellis below. You follow him, leaning over the windowsill.

“See you tomorrow?” You say.

“Yeah,” he smiles . “Kiss goodnight?” You roll your eyes before meeting him in the middle, joining your lips. You could hear feet on the stairs. You pull away first, seeing Benny with this crazy grin on his face. “You owe me about 10 more of those,” he says before jumping onto the grass.

You quickly close the window and jump onto your bed as your mother opens the bedroom door.

“What have you been up to?”

You smile to yourself. “Oh, nothing. Just studying for a test tomorrow.”

Nothing indeed.

“Well you should get some sleep, dear.” Your mother turns out the light. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” you echo.

#first time writing #austin butler #benny cross #the bikeriders #friends to lovers #high school romance #can you tell im nervous lol #Spotify

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alwaysmoncheri · 5 months ago

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𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧

summary: in which best friends, y/n henderson and steve harrington get caught up in their feelings while paranormal activities occur in the small town of hawkins, indiana

cw: fem!reader, I wrote this a long time ago(I apologize for everything cringe), shit writing, first person pov, a literal holiday romcom, stancy, 2.7k

3 Months Later

Before we knew it, the holiday season had come around and it seemed like we were all scrambling to find gifts for each other. Nancy and Jonathan invited me to go Christmas shopping with them, seeing that we'd become very close in the past few months. Our shared trauma had a lot to do with that.

Jonathan had just called me and told me he'd be at my house five minutes ago. I glance at the clock again before returning my gaze out the window.

With a sigh, I trudge over to the phone hanging on the wall, starting to call Nancy's number. That's when I hear a car rolling into my driveway.

I grab my jacket, pulling it tight to my body before opening the front door and walking cheerfully outside. I instantly freeze, not because of the cold, but when I spot the maroon car sitting in my driveway.

Steve sends me a shy wave from inside his car. I hesitantly wave back before walking towards the passenger door and sitting inside.

"Hey," I say as Steve turns the heat up noticing my shivering figure, "I was supposed to be going shopping with Jonathan and Nancy."

"Uh, yeah," Steve says, rubbing the back of his neck, "Nance called and said something came up and asked if I could step in."

Also in the past few months, Nancy and Steve got back together. He really did love that girl.

"Oh well," I say buckling my seatbelt with a bright smile, "I guess we're doing this together then, Harrington."

"Yeah, I guess so, Henderson."

|☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆|

Steve walks behind me with a smile as I skip around the town while it snows. I stop at every window of every shop checking to see if anything catches my eye to give to one of my friends.

Steve seems to be struggling with what to get Nancy so I have to help him out a bit.

"How about that?" I tell Steve pointing at the pretty bracelet laying in the window of the local jewelry shop.

After a few moments, Steve slowly comes up to stand beside me, his warm presence filling the air as he glances at the bracelet on display. I continue to gaze in the window, my eyes locking on a silver necklace with a ring for a pendant. My gaze lingers there for a moment before I turn my attention back to Steve, who has been watching me this whole time with those eyes.

"Yeah, that's perfect." Steve says, breaking the silence, by referring to the bracelet I'd pointed out.

"Okay, great," I reply walking towards the door to the shop, "Lets go get it."

"Wait," Steve says, grabbing my arm before I can open the door, "I'll get it. You go ahead to the next place, I'll meet you there." He says quickly and I don't question it. I just nod and start my walk to the next store.

As I walk down the sidewalk, my feet crunching into the snow, I think about what I could get for Steve. I glance at the bags in my hands, feeling a pang of guilt and embarrassment as I realize I've gotten everyone something, except for him. He's never been the hardest to shop for, but the pressure of getting Steve the perfect gift is starting to get to me. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to let some creativity in, but so far, nothing comes to mind.

Suddenly, I hear quick footsteps coming from behind me. As I open my eyes I'm met with Steve who slows his stride before stopping by my side with a couple more small bags in hand.

Steve seems to notice something is up as he tilts his head to one side with a confused look, "You okay?" He asks quietly.

"Yeah, no, I'm good." I say when we begin to walk through the freshly powered snow. "I'm just thinking."

"About me, I hope?" Steve replies with a smug smile on his face.

"It's always about you, Harrington."

|☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆|

The next day was Christmas Eve. Today I would be going over to the Wheeler's house to pick up Dustin from the boys' D&D campaign and hand out my gifts. And I still don't have anything for Steve.

I'm starting to freak out a little bit.

I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, my thoughts racing with each breath I take. As the words repeat over and over in my head, I can't help but think of Steve.

Steve. Steve. Steve. What would Steve like?

I sit up in bed, as the exhaustion builds inside of me. Wanting to take a break from the constant thoughts of Steve, I decide to leave the house in search of some fresh air. I grab my jacket and head towards downtown, finding a quiet bench, wiping the fresh snow off before sitting down.

As I watch the people and couples stroll by, I take a deep breath, feeling a sense of peace and relief.

Then, I hear soft footsteps crunching through the snow, approaching me. I look up to see an old lady, probably in he 80's, sitting down next to me, her soft and gentle eyes gazing at me with warmth and kindness. She smiles, and I respond with one of my own. The two of us share a peaceful moment, the snow falling slowly around us and sparkling in the light.

"Hey," I turn slowly towards the lady, "Could you maybe help me with something?"

"What can I help you with, honey?" The lady replies kindly.

"Um, so I have this friend, and I haven't found a gift for him yet." I let out a small sigh before continuing, "I just don't know what to do because I want it to be perfect." I finish, glancing back at the lady who just smiles.

"This friend must be very special, huh?" She asks with a certain look hiding behind those soft eyes.

"Yeah." I respond, almost dreamily, "He is."

"If you mean as much to him as he does to you, I don't think it would matter what you get him," The lady says, that soft smile never leaving her face, "As long as it's from the heart." She finishes, holding her hand up to her chest, where her heart is.

I finally know what I want to give to Steve thanks to a sudden inspiration courtesy of a random old lady's brilliant mind. I quickly thank her before rushing home so I can get the gift done before I have to head over to the Wheeler's.

Frantically, I rummage through my room, searching for the old camera Steve and I used to use together. I find it in an unexpected spot, under my bed, before heading back into town to a local shop where I can get the photos developed. I wait impatiently while the pictures dry. When they're finally done, I grab them stuffing them into my bag before going home. I grin as I shut my bedroom door behind me, knowing they'll make the perfect gift for Steve.

I slip the pictures into a small envelope before grabbing a sheet of paper to write a letter to Steve. With a clear and steady hand, I start to write, my thoughts and emotions flowing as I compose the perfect message for the one who has always meant the world to me.

As I write, a flood of memories come rushing into my mind.

"Is it a little strange? Sure, but it's also romantic. When I heard it for the first time, it reminded me of you."

I smile as I remember that night we'd spent on his bedroom floor. I remember his warm smile, the gentle touches, the mix-tape we'd never finished.

"I don't really know who you are anymore Steve."

"Then let me show you,"

I pause in my writing to dwell on the night Steve snuck into my room, all those months ago. That was the night our friendship was truly reborn in a moment of secrecy and trust.

"What the hell did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, freak."

A single tear slips out, fueled by the bitter memory of what Steve called me months ago. I let my anger and frustration spill into the paper, letting which lets the rest of my emotions loose.

"Whoa, (Y/n), what are you doing with that?"

"Protecting your sorry ass."

I let out a light chuckle of amusement as my rage from earlier dissolves into a warm flood of happy memories.

I remember the day we made our promise, when Steve and I were just kids. We sat with our legs dangling in the pool, lightly swinging our feet through the water. The water glimmered in the sunlight, the sound of the wind rustling through the trees as we watched our reflections in the ripples of the water. I remember the sense of calm unity that we felt in that moment, our friendship forged in the waters of that pool, our words spoken with so much hope and faith in our hearts.

"We won't ever stop being friends, right?”

"We're in this together, Steve Harrington."

"Always."

With a small smile on my face, I carefully slip the letter into the envelope alongside our childhood pictures. I then gently place the envelope in my backpack, where it lies with the rest of the presents I'll be giving out later today.

Then I realize I've made a love letter in disguise.

Shit.

Oh well.

I hear a couple knocks on the front door and promptly open it, finding Jonathan standing on the other side with a warm smile. As he gestures towards the driveway, I nod and head out the door, putting my backpack on and grabbing my jacket. We then drive to the Wheeler's house to pick up our brothers from their campaign. I'm filled with excitement and anticipation as we pull up, eager to see my friends reactions to the gifts I picked out for them.

As we pull up to the house, I notice Steve's maroon car sitting in the driveway, the sight causing my smile to falter ever so slightly. The thoughts of him and Nancy getting back together run through my mind. But I remind myself that Steve and Nancy are my friends, and I'm going to support their decision, no matter how much it hurts.

Jonathan and I get out of the car and walk up to the door where a very cheerful Mrs. Wheeler greets us, with a tray of cookies in hand.

"Merry Christmas, kids," She greets with a warm smile, "Cookie?" She offers pushing out the tray towards us.

"Ooh, thanks, Mrs. Wheeler!" I exclaim happily, grabbing a cookie before walking alongside Jonathan into the house.

"Nancy is upstairs with Steve and the boys are in the basement." Mrs. Wheeler comments before making her way back to the kitchen with the rest of the cookies.

"Perfect," I say before walking down the stairs to the basement.

"Jeez, what's that smell?" Jonathan says as I bring my hand up to my nose to plug it, "Have you guys been playing games all day, or just farting?" Jonathan asks, making me let out a snort.

"Oh, that's just Dustin." Lucas giggles, "He farted. Dustin farted." Lucas sings while making farting noises.

"Okay." Dustin replies annoyed.

"Dustin farted." Lucas continues to sing.

"Very mature, Lucas." My brother comments and I let out another chuckle.

"Will." Jonathan says, grabbing his brother's attention, who stand up with a smile, "Come on."

"Shut up." Dustin repeats.

"Dustin farted!" Lucas sings, standing from his seat.

"Bye guys." Will says with a little wave before following his brother up the stairs.

"Bye Will." The three boys chorus at the same time.

"Dust, we gotta go too," I say with a smile as the boys say goodbye to their friend, "But first, presents!" I sing, opening my backpack.

As the boys sift through my bag and pull out their gifts with excitement, I watch them with a smile on my face. They thank me for the thoughtful presents with wide grins, giving me affectionate hugs. I wave goodbye to the boys before, Dustin and I rush up the stairs. Where Mrs. Wheeler is waiting.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Wheeler." Dustin and I say at the same time and I send her a soft smile.

"Merry Christmas, guys." She returns my smile, "Say hi to your mom for me."

"We will." I reply before heading towards the door. I usher Dustin out, telling him that I'll be right there.

Before I can make my way up the stairs to Nancy's room, her and Steve come rushing down the stair. In a flurry of holiday cheer and joy, the two of them make their way towards me, their faces filled with excitement with presents in hand.

"We thought we heard your voice." Nancy says with a sweet smile, handing me a present, "Merry Christmas, (Y/n)."

"Thank you, Nancy." I say sincerely before she nods, walking towards her mom whose still in the kitchen.

I place the tiny gift box into my backpack grabbing the envelope for Steve before facing the nervous looking boy in front of me.

"I—"

"Here." I say, shoving the letter into his hand.

"Oh, thanks." Steve replies, starting to open the letter.

"Wait!" I say frantically grabbing his hands, preventing him from opening it right now.

"Later?" Steve asks, reading my mind.

"Yeah." I let out a relieved sigh as Steve puts the letter into his front pocket.

I stare into Steve's eyes for a moment, my heart fluttering with every beat. Then he reaches into his back pocket and suddenly reveals a small jewelry box, the sight causing my breath to catch in my throat.

"Uh, I got you something." Steve says, fidgeting with the box in his hand, before reaching out to grab my hand, placing the box into my palm gently, "You can open it now, if you want."

I slowly and carefully open the box, my anticipation growing with every inch it opens. When the lid finally lifts, however, I can't help but gasp as I catch glimpse of the necklace from yesterday, the one with the ring. I stare at the necklace in my hand, eyebrows furrowed as I try to make sense of this gift.

My thoughts run wild as I look up at the boy whose staring at me with excitement and slight worry.

"Read it." Steve says softly, "The ring."

I grab the ring noticing the engraved message on the inside.

Always

My eyes start to tear up when I glance up at Steve.

"Whoa, you don't like it?" Steve questions with a concerned look.

"No, no, I love it, Steve." I laugh lightly at his worry.

"Oh, good." He replies rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Can I?" Steve asks, reaching his hands out towards the box.

With blush spreading across my cheeks, I nod as Steve steps closer, his warm hands taking the necklace. He gently moves my hair to the side and quickly fastens the necklace around my neck with a soft click. As he shifts my hair back into place, I turn back around, our faces inches apart.

"Thank you, Steve." I say softly, glancing at his lips, "I really love it."

"Yeah, I mean, I saw you looking at it and I—"

I cut him off with a quick hug, a warm feeling pooling in my chest as I feel his arms wrap around me. We stand there by the front door of the Wheeler's house, our bodies pressed together, the moment charged with emotion. I lean in and give his cheek a quick peck before finally parting ways. I turn towards the door, my hand resting on the knob.

"Bye, Steve." I say, sending him a small wave before opening the door.

"Bye." Steve replies dazed, but still gives me a two-finger wave.

I smile because something changed, and I'm not sure that's a bad thing anymore.

next chapter . masterlist . steve harrington masterlist . taglist

thank you for reading, my darling! remember to like! reblog! and comment! i’ll give you a smooch if you do, ily! send requests to my inbox!

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3d-wifey · 1 year ago

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And They'd Find Us in A Week - Chapter 11

Pairing: Finnick Odair x Reader Word Count: 8.3k Synopsis: Here! Playlist: Listen up! Tag list: - @melancholicmelanin, @yvy1s, @glomp-me, @honethatty12, @swftlore, @hashcakes, @antoheartit, @finnickodaddy, @lilifl0wer, @antoheartit, @kermitcrimess, @persophonekarter, @aawdrea, @obaewankenobis, @xyxlyn A/N: LADIES N GENTLEMEN, THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR! there are multiple POV changes in this, I'm training yall for the arena and Mockingjay. FYI: I was so disheartened bc this felt like the worst past I've written for this story :(((

Past (xii) - Finnick

[21 & 22] - DISTRICT FOUR

Finnick is sitting at his desk, probably looking as worn out and exhausted as he feels. It’s early morning, and he hasn’t slept for two days. He’s been writing for hours, trying to find the right words to say. The sun had just set when he poured himself into the seat, and now—he glances to his left—the first tendrils of sunlight are peaking up.

The room is quiet, except for Finnick's labored breathing. His hands are shaking, a side effect of the stress that's been building inside him like a pressure cooker. Snow's visit has left him reeling, unable to process the implications of the deal he's been forced to make. He knows he must write you a letter, but the thought fills him with despondency. Something that normally fills him with insurmountable excitement and anticipation fills him with devastation. It feels like, like… There’s nothing he can compare it to. Not everything feels like something else and Finnick knows this kind of grief is very rarely experienced.

What is he supposed to do? He hasn’t opened the last letter you sent, knowing it will be the last one that won’t carry the weight of mourning. He knows that you'll write to him again, that you won’t take this lying down. You’ll write and write, and he...will do nothing.

It sits in front of him, innocuous and unassuming. Something devastating folded in a green envelope and wrapped in your scent like a well-dressed bomb. Does his fear outweigh his longing for you?

He picks it up, holding it gingerly in his hands.

No, he realizes, it doesn’t.

He’s careful to tear the seal on the flap and your perfume wafts up like a surprise. He takes a deep breath, savoring the scent, trying to steel himself for what comes next.

Dear Finn,

I feel like I’ve missed you longer than I’ve had the chance to know you. It's been three months now, but maybe by the time this letter gets to you, we'll both be on our way to the Capitol. I'm working on being more optimistic, but that uphill battle is becoming steeper the longer I'm away from you.

I keep thinking about when I first met you. When I looked into your eyes, I didn't see fireworks exploding or any of that other shit they depict in those gaudy Capitol romance novels. I looked into your eyes and saw you, something far more breathtaking than fireworks. And what a sight you were.

Three years back, you said something I never agreed with, that it was hard to love you. At the moment, I didn’t get to say what I really wanted to because I was eighteen and the thought of being so emotionally vulnerable made my teeth itch.

I wanted to say that you aren't hard to love. I wanted to say loving you has been the easiest thing I have ever done. And that's why it was so difficult. I could never let myself love you—let myself have you because how could I possibly deserve to? But that’s the kicker. It’s not hard to love you, Finn, it’s impossible not to.

Something happened recently that made me realize that I’m not the most forthcoming person when it comes to my feelings. But, Finn, know that my love for you is never in doubt. How I feel about you may be complex, but it’s not complicated. I love you desperately, humanly, simply. Without even trying, you peel me back to my core, but if you only dug a little deeper you’d find your picture framed and hanging along the walls of my soul.

I miss you, more than I was prepared to—and I was prepared to miss you considerably.

We may not be next to each other, but we’re under the same sky, and each glowing point on that backdrop of black is a star—a sun at the center of someone’s solar system.

In some other universe, on a different Earth, there’s a girl in love with a boy whose freckles run like constellations. On another, there’s a girl who’s in love with how her boy’s eyes squint when he smiles.

That's the one constant. There are billions of stars, billions of universes, and I love you in every one of them.

Tears are blurring his vision before he can read how you close the letter and he has to sit back as the full weight of what he’s about to do hits him all at once. Your words are like a balm to his soul, but they burn him just as much as they soothe him. A reminder of what he’s losing just as much as a reminder of what he’s fighting for. There was never a need to put a label on what you two had, what you were to each other because it would never be replicated. It had always just been ‘yours’. Now, with a flick of his pen, it’ll be nothing.

Maybe, he thinks, maybe there’s a way I can explain why I’m doing this, some kind of code or something. Maybe I can still meet with her, just in secret. But Snow… It always comes back to Snow.

Snow reads these letters, and surely he'll be more vigilant of Finnick to make sure he keeps his side of the deal. Besides, if you knew the real reason he’s doing this—that it’s against his will, that he wouldn’t even think to do this in his worst nightmare—you’ll latch on, consequences be damned.

He’s doing this for you. He has to remind himself that it’s your life on the line here, not just his heart.

Still.

He's careful when folding the letter back, only bending it along the preexisting lines. He sets it beside himself.

He picks up a piece of paper from the stack in front of him tucked against the wall, twirling his pen along his fingers. His leg bounces, nails tapping on the desk.

He writes something down and comes to a stuttering halt. It isn't good enough. He crumbles it up, throws it in the trash, and picks up a new one.

Write, crumble, trash, repeat.

He's stuck in a loop, unable to find the right words. The pressure is building, and he can feel himself starting to crack. He needs to get this done, needs to find a way to say goodbye.

Write, crumble, trash, repeat.

He's lost track of time, doesn't know how long he's been sitting here. The words are eluding him, and he's starting to feel like he's lost his grip on reality.

Finally, he puts pen to paper and the words flow out of him like a dam breaking. He writes about his love for you, about how much he misses you, about how impossible it is to imagine a future without you. He writes about his fear and his grief, about the weight of the world on his shoulders.

He writes you goodbye.

When he's done, he holds your letter carefully, tucking it back into its envelope. He knows what he has to do, knows that there's no turning back now.

With trembling hands, he picks up the tan envelope and slides his letter inside. He seals it with a kiss, feeling the weight of his decision like a physical burden.

He takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart, and places the letter on the stack in front of him. It's done. The words are written, the decision made.

He sits back in his chair, feeling numb and hollow. He doesn't know what comes next, but he knows that he'll face it head-on. For you.

Past (xii) - You

[21 & 22] - DISTRICT ELEVEN

Finnick's reply came faster than you expected it to.

You plop down in your office chair, giddy as you rub at your sore cheeks. You've been smiling like an idiot since you picked up the letter from the Mayor's office. You tear into the envelope and pause.

The words are kind of smudged, dried drops of something smearing the ink. Luckily, you can still read it.

My heart,

My moon and stars.

I must have rewritten these words at least a dozen times by now. You should see the pile of crumpled paper next to me. You'd call it wasteful, but I'm sure you'd be secretly charmed by how nervous you make me after all these years.

There's no way to dance around it, and I know how much you hate when people mince their words.

It pains me to think it, let alone write it.

This will be my last letter to you.

I know you have a hundred and one questions bouncing around that beautiful brain of yours, you'll want to know why. And the answer is, there is no why. I've decided that it's best, for both of us, to stop. Stop the letters, stop the meetings.

It ends here.

I don't want you to hate me. But if that makes it easier for you to stay away from me, then despise me. More than the Peacekeepers, more than the Capitol, more than Snow. Take that loathing and hold onto it like you used to hold me.

But, selfishly, I want you to know what I'll be holding onto.

Those little moments outside of time where you and I were the center of each other's universe, two stars orbiting each other. The balcony of my room, the floor of yours.

I want you to know this because I don't want you to doubt that I love you.

Because I do. I love you. I could say it a thousand times, and it still wouldn't be enough. I could say it until my tongue falls off and I'd find a way to sign it to you.

I could live a thousand lifetimes, be a thousand different people, and I will never love someone like I love you.

I think of your smile and I fall in love again. I think of your touch and I fall in love again. I won't leave you without you knowing this. I'd sooner stop breathing.

There are plenty of things I should be thanking you for, but if I tried to make a list, I'd run out of paper.

I felt...free with you. As free as anyone can be in our situation. I've never felt so close to another person before—I never let myself.

I thought it would pass eventually, like a sand castle when it's high tide. Noticeable, beautiful, but temporary.

But I can tell you now, that was such bullshit. Since that first dance, there was never a moment I wasn’t in love with you. I loved you before I knew I was capable of it, before I knew I had it in me, and you had my heart before I even knew it was there. I saw the thorns of your past and held my hands out, ready to bleed if it meant I could touch you.

And that scared me. The very thing that gave me strength was my biggest weakness. That’s a hard pill to swallow at sixteen and it’s just as daunting at twenty-two.

Years ago, you asked me if I could wish for anything, what would it be? I still wish I was a different person, someone you could be proud of. And I wish that person got to grow old with you.

God, you don't know how badly I want to grow old with you.

I have no doubt that there's a planet out there under a different sun where we end up together. Hand in hand with the two kids we always talked about. A little girl that'll have me wrapped around her finger because she'll look just like you. And a little boy that'll drive you up the wall because he's a little too much like me. That universe is where my heart lives.

We'll find it someday, just you and me. Until then, they'll find our love written in the stars. In every constellation.

-Yours until words lose meaning,

Finnick O.

You reread the letter.

Then reread it again. You keep rereading it until the words refuse to sit still, letters blurring together.

It ends here? What’s he talking about? He can't possibly mean the two of you. He can't.

But he’s ending it. He ended it.

Why would he—?

He said there’s no reason, but…but there has to be.

You try to think of anything you did—anything you said that could have led to this but you're coming up blank.

This doesn't make any sense. It doesn't line up with the Finnick you know.

The letter says that he loves you, and you thought you knew he loved you, but it’s pretty hard to believe that when he’s leaving you.

He promised he'd stay with you, he promised, and Finnick doesn't break his promises. Not with you. No. Not after everything you've been through together. You only have each other.

The paper falls from your trembling hands to the desk.

No. You only have Finnick. But, Finnick—he doesn't want you anymore, right? So, where does that leave you? What else do you have?

A grandfather clock ticks in the background, though it sounds muted to your ears.

You look down at the paper and find wet spots, and ink more smeared than before. Your cheeks are wet. Are you crying?

Stupid. You grit your teeth, fury mixing with despair. Stupid tears. Stupid Finnick. You wipe at your cheeks roughly, angry at yourself for being weak enough to cry over him. There are a million and one reasons this could have happened and they all begin and end with you. You have no one to blame but yourself.

You know what it feels like for your body to break. You know what it is to be drained down to your skin, nerves, muscles, and bones. You've come eerily close to knowing what it's like to have your mind broken.

But this is new. This is what it feels like to have your heart broken. It's sudden, and it rips you apart on its way in. Not an arrow, but a knife. Cold and serated. It's quicker than you thought it'd be, but it hurts just the same.

You’re so cold. You don't think you've ever been this cold before. Not even when you were nine and you got such bad hyperthermia that you couldn’t work for the rest of the winter. He always ran hot, you think distantly. And all his warmth has left you.

You hold on to yourself because no one else will. You would have preferred your body breaking. At least that heals.

“I can’t,” you weep, stuttering over betrayal and loss, “I can’t do this alone.”

You press your forehead into the desk, your body shaking with the sobs you’re holding back. It hurts so bad. Pain sits rooted in your chest, sharp and rigid like a peach pit. Your heart doesn’t beat, it throbs. Throbs like a festering wound, irritated and infected.

You pull at your shirt and dig your nails into your chest. If you press hard enough through the skin and fascia and muscles, you could pull out the problem.

But that’s impossible. There’s nothing there. It’s the absence that hurts, that gaping Finnick-shaped hole.

Did you get ahead of yourself? Thinking anything could last with someone who shines as bright as him? Maybe…maybe if you were a little more like him, if you shined just as bright.

You snort, anger flaring briefly.

You’re not a star, you’re not even the moon. How can the sun love the same darkness it chases away?

He described the ocean to you once. Vast and endless, like it could go on forever. And he told you about all the people who get lost at sea. Now you’re one of them.

You have capsized, water rushing up past your neck and into your mouth and nose, just as salty as your tears. Your lungs burn from the lack of air, you can’t breathe and no one will come for you because you're as good as dead.

Here you sit in your study in your home that isn’t really yours, far away from any ocean, but you're drowning anyway.

You drown and you drown and you drown and you do it alone.

Present (X) - Finnick

[23 & 24] - THE CAPITOL

It’s a last resort, a unanimous choice between them all. A wordless decision that the victors made to appeal to the Capitol citizens. Though they’re all using different means, it’s all for the same result. That’s what Finnick has to remind himself when he’s called on stage after Beetee.

The crowd screams at his entrance and he locks his hands behind his back. He smiles, nodding to his adoring fans as he stands beside Caesar.

“Finnick, I understand you have a message for somebody out there. A special somebody.” The crowd hoots and hollers at the dramatics of it all and the idea of one of them being the special someone close to his heart. He chuckles and looks down. The Capitols being painfully predictable is finally paying off. All according to plan. “Can we hear it?”

He could spew some generic flowery shit that could apply to literally anyone he’s come in contact with, but…

He looks at the camera. Fourteen victors will perform before you, so you should still be in your dressing room. Are you watching? Watching him?

"My love, my star. My heart is yours. And…and if I had to pick a place to die, it would be in the warmth of your arms. Your smile, the last thing I see and your lips, the last thing I taste. Everything I have ever done, I have done for you.”

Caesar pouts at the audience as they coo at his love letter and he wishes they never heard it. He wishes he could have said it to you directly. Those words, they’re yours and they should have been for your ears only. And, yet, here he is, relaying his heart to you through a screen.

Look how far we’ve fallen, Star.

“Oh, my. That’s very touching, Finnick. Isn’t it? I’m sure whoever it is, is listening and feeling truly loved.”

“I hope you’re right, Caesar.”

They allowed Mags to opt out of her interview on account of her not being able to speak. How kind, he scoffs. He settles on the raised platform beside her and he briefly squeezes her hand.

You okay? He mouths and she nods, smiling.

One by one, each victor comes with their own approach to sway the masses. Oh, he knows there's no way they'll be canceling the games. Finnick is more likely to drain the ocean with a teaspoon before Snow even considers stopping this cruelty. But it’s worth a shot, he supposes. It can’t possibly make going into the arena any worse.

Besides Johanna's impassioned speech, nothing the other victors do stands out to him. Then, you're called out.

He sinks his teeth into his lip as the audience applauds at your entrance.

From what he can recall, your outfit is a remix of the dress you wore in your first interview as if it has aged and matured with you. It’s gained a long train and the hip-high thigh slits that your stylist is known for.

You blow kisses to the crowd and they, understandably, go wild. You turn to Caesar with a smile and the overhead lights shine on you, painting your skin in soft lighting like a blanket. He takes a breath. And another, until he notices he’s breathing in sync with you.

He blinks when the crowd breaks into raucous laughter and realizes he’s missed something.

"Oh, we all know just how shy you are." Caesar smiles, holding his laugh behind clenched teeth in that way of his that reminds Finnick of an overachieving beaver. The crowd laughs with him and your cheeks must hurt from holding that coy smile. "Now, the last time we talked, you said you were composing a new piece." Caesar pulls a violin out from…somewhere behind him and presents it to you like a gift. Finnick doesn’t know what he was expecting, but he didn’t think you’d use the violin as your strategy. Mostly because of how much you hate it. Or maybe you don’t anymore. Perhaps you’ve grown to love it and he’s none the wiser. “Can you play it for us now?" The crowd clamors in ooohs and ahhhs at the idea. It's always been a privilege to hear you play. Finnick watches your face closely.

It wasn't your favorite thing to do, but you took to it like a fish to water. Usually, Snow would have you play at the more "personal" get-togethers. But every once in a while, you would compose a song for Finnick . And when it was just the two of you, you'd share it with him. He'd sit in front of you in awe as you played. He doesn't have a musical bone in his body, but he can hum every piece from memory.

“You’re kinda putting me on the spot here, but, sure. I would love to play it for you all.” You laugh. You place the instrument under your chin and position your fingers and bow.

And you play.

It's not showy like the pieces you usually play for the public. Not grand or performative, but soft and soulful. Melancholy. It feels nostalgic almost, like something you would write for him.

The haunting melody carries throughout the silent room, and it is as if everyone is breathing with the lilting notes. Everyone but Finnick, who can't seem to catch his breath.

He looks down, squeezing his eyes shut, nose scrunching as he fights back tears. Because as much as you may hate the instrument, you play it as if it's an extension of your body. And you've always been better at showing how you feel than saying it.

It sounds like a goodbye.

You come to a stop and Finnick's lungs stop constricting with your movements.

When you finish, it’s quiet before Caesar clears his throat and gives you a small smile that almost looks genuine.

“That was marvelous, my dear. Truly moving—wasn’t that moving?” He asks the audience, and Finnick will be surprised if there’s a dry eye in the crowd. Even their applause sounds sad.

“Thank you, Caesar.” You nod at the praise. “You taught me so much—all of you. If I had known this would be the last time I got to play for you—” You trail off into a sob and the crowd coos. The words may be fake, but he isn’t too sure about the tears. He wonders if you think you won’t make it out of the arena alive—not that he would let that happen. If he could just talk to you, and have an actual conversation, he could know what you’re thinking.

Caesar pats your lower back and Finnick’s eyes narrow. “And you played beautifully.”

You hand the violin back with a watery smile and, fake or not, Finnick hates to see you cry.

You’re met with a standing ovation as you climb to your place on the platform. With the way the victors are positioned, he stands directly behind you. Or, well, strictly speaking, he’s more diagonal than directly behind you. Still, how lucky is he? He could, theoretically, lean forward and catch a whiff of your perfume—

He gathers himself, straightening up and lacing his fingers behind his back. He squeezes the space between his thumb and forefinger.

Katniss spins and her wedding dress transforms in a flurry of fire before their eyes.

“Again with the fire.” He mutters under his breath.

The crowd is in awe as she spreads her wings, but he isn’t so easily cowed. Though, he might not be the target audience. Finnick’s never been particularly fond of birds, even if they are mockingjays.

"You know Katniss and I, we've been luckier than most. And I wouldn't have any regrets at all if it weren't…if—" Peeta stops himself, glancing around nervously.

"If it weren't for what? What?"

“If it weren’t for the baby.”

Now, that catches his attention. Gasps echo throughout the room at Peeta’s revelation. Finnick’s eyebrows almost touch his hairline with how high they raise. Caesar tries to do damage control, but the situation is quickly escalating.

“Call off the games!”

“This is cruel!”

He purses his lips around a growing smile, but he can’t hide it for long when the crowd starts shouting. That’s…certainly one way to get the audience riled up. He catches the slight smirk on Peeta’s face as he watches the commotion he caused and Finnick’s a little jealous.

Chaos unfurls in a way he never thought the Capitols were capable of. They’ve always been so docile; sheep shepherded into any direction Snow lead them. But it makes sense. The romance act was meant to fool the Capitol and fool them, it has. He hides the vindictive glee he feels at the riot breaking out in the name of the victors, but only barely. He would kill to see Snow's face right now.

How does it feel, he wonders, to see your people rebel in support of the savages you tried to paint us out to be?

He looks over, brows furrowed, as Mags takes his hand with a proud smile and he glances down in time to see you take Chaff’s hand. He pauses for a moment before taking the hand the woman from Five offers him. In sync, the victors all raise their hands in a show of solidarity.

“Stop the games!”

“Call them off!”

Finnick grins big at the mayhem unfolding before him and they keep shouting long after the lights cut out.

Present (X) - You & Finnick

[23 & 24] - THE CAPITOL

“Star!”

It didn't take long for the tributes to be escorted off the platforms and as he chases after you, Finnick realizes that he vastly underestimated just how many people stood between you and him. He isn't sure if he's too far away for you to hear or if you’re actively ignoring him.

”Star!” Finnick pushes through the crowd of victors and stage crew to get closer. Chaff glances at him and now he knows for sure that you’re ignoring him.

“Stubborn.” He mutters as some of his fellow victors let him pass, glancing at him before continuing their conversations. But, as he’s said before, he’s just as stubborn as you. He racks his brain for something that’ll catch your attention before he loses what might be his last chance with you. “The message was for you! ”

You pause at the entrance of the elevator at Finnick's shout. You're so close to getting away, so close. Your escape is a hair's breadth and a footstep away, but you remember how you felt sitting in your dressing room watching Finnick's interview. Was there a pang of jealousy over the possibility of the message being for someone else? Honestly, it couldn't even be categorized as jealousy.

You look over your shoulder and his lungs stop constricting. He’s got you. Now, for the hardest part: keeping you.

There are dozens of eyes on him, people milling around as if they aren’t honed in on whatever this is. He can’t blame them for being curious, he’s a little confused himself. He went into this with no plan, not that he would have been able to stick to one with how you’re looking at him.

“What?” As he approaches, the lingering crowd fully parts for him. You regard the gathering audience warily.

“What I said, the message—it was for you.” He repeats.

He can’t afford to be coy, that hasn't worked the last dozen times he's attempted a conversation with you and it definitely won't work now. He knows if he doesn’t catch you now, there won’t be any more chances.

Peeta dropped a baby bomb, and, somehow, this is the most dramatic thing to happen tonight. His eyes are locked intently on you, either unaware of all the attention he’s captured or just uncaring.

You look over to Chaff for help but he just smirks at your growing embarrassment. You watch in disbelief as he walks away using the excuse of finding Seeder to escape.

“Finnick, this isn’t the time.” You glance between him and the floor, tracing the threading in his boots instead of the desperation in his eyes.

"Can you please just,” he shifts his weight on his feet, "can you look at me, Star? Please, look at me." He lifts his hand like he aims to reach you, but hesitates.

This situation is developing into something far more intimate than your current company should allow. More intimate than you should allow. You can always walk away, turn your back to him, and get on one of the idle elevators—let it end here, once and for all. The only thing stopping you would be the completely unfounded guilt and regret.

You don't owe him anything, let alone your time.

And, yet. Yet, yet, yet.

Maybe you can get some sort of closure and set clear boundaries before you go into the arena and—that reasoning sounds weak even to you.

Both of you could die tomorrow and truthfully, you don't want to walk away from him; you've never wanted to.

Besides, it's not like he can hurt you any worse than he already has.

Finnick jolts when he feels your hand wrap around his wrist, a sensation he should be accustomed to but has grown foreign.

You pull him away from eavesdropping ears, but not from nosey eyes. With how front and center Finnick has made this, you feel like a spectacle, but when haven't you?

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” You question him in a harsh whisper. “I don’t know what this is or what you think this is, but it is not the place for it. What if this gets back to Snow—”

“I don’t care.”

“—There’s already so much…what?”

“I don’t care.” He shakes his head, and for once, he’s not lying. “I don’t care if they hear us, or—or if this gets back to Snow.”

Your jaw shifts as you narrow your eyes up at him and there’s that anger he’s been expecting.

“Please, Star. Just…just let me speak.” He begs. Your face goes blank, a mask slotting into place like a lock with a key that Finnick has long since lost the right to. He blocks out the chatter around him.

“Not here.” He thinks he’s being rejected for a moment until you grab his wrist and drag him behind you. The elevators are filling in droves and you just so happen to pick the one housing some of the last people he wants to witness this.

Haymitch takes one look at your faces and the grip you have on his wrist and raises his hands in defense.

Haymitch turns to Katniss and Peeta. “Nuh-uh, believe me. You do not wanna be locked in here with them.” He shakes his head and steps out without a backwardsqasz glance and you contemplate going with him. “I’ll meet you guys up there.”

Johanna steps on in his place, elevator doors closing behind her. She looks between the four of you and whistles. Finnick sighs.

“There’s the happy couple.” You glance at Peeta and Katniss because she certainly isn’t talking about the two of you. “You caused quite the stir out there. Why didn’t you tell us you were expecting? We could have thrown you a baby shower.” You sigh through your nose. You don’t even have it in you to intervene in this conversation.

“What the hell is a baby shower—”

“We didn’t know how everyone would take it.” Peeta cuts Katniss off. “We’re already the newest victors. The baby might’ve painted an even bigger target on our backs.” He says without stuttering once.

“That’s a fantastic answer, Peeta.” Johanna crows sarcastically. “Did Haymitch prep you on that one or did you come up with it on your own?”

“No. No, it’s all me.” He assures with a downward smile. It certainly is all him. He’s the mastermind behind all of this, right? Ironically enough, Finnick doubts Katniss had any real part in making this ‘baby scandal’.

Finnick opens his mouth to make a quip but thinks better of it. You’re already aggravated at his presence and he honestly doesn’t want to remind you that he’s here. His only consolation is that you’re still holding his wrist, all five pads of your fingers are searing points on his skin.

Peeta gives you an imploring look, eyebrows raised as if to ask if you’re alright and you nod and—when did that happen?

It’s quiet, with no other sound than the nearly inaudible woosh of the elevator going between floors. No one makes an effort to break the steadily growing awkward silence. Finnick does, however, make the mistake of making eye contact with Johanna. She mouths you’re dead at him over your head and, yeah, that definitely fills him with much-needed confidence.

Present (X) - Finnick

[21 & 22] - THE CAPITOL; TRAINING CENTER; ELEVENTH FLOOR

“Alright. You wanted to speak.” Your dress flutters around your legs as you settle into a big green chair. That same giant green chair you sat in three years prior. You’ve both grown considerably since then. Just in two completely different directions. What a juxtaposition. “Speak.”

He stays where he’s standing a couple of feet away. He probably should have figured out what to do on the elevator ride, but, again, he’s without a plan. “Did you hear my message? When I was up there with Caesar? I know you were still getting ready—did you hear it?”

“I might’ve.” You shrug and cross your arms, still so stubborn. “Great strategy by the way. I’m sure you’ll reel in plenty of sponsors.”

“God, Star, it wasn’t for them. It wasn’t even for the fucking movement.” You raise a brow at his words but give no further outward reaction. He moves to stand before you, each step more unsure than the last. Your glare is scorching, but there’s been enough space between the two of you to house the sun. “Do you remember when you said my poetry was a gift? And—and that I shouldn’t waste it on them? You said you would never be tired of anything I do. Do you remember that night? What I said?” He implores. It was a special night full of promises and you gave him more than he deserved.

You look him over with a critical eye long enough that he’s sure you’re not going to answer. Especially when you turn to stare off to the side before sighing out of your nose.

“My heart, who am I to deprive you of what's yours by right? The air in my lungs, I breathe for you. The blood in my veins pumps for you. A leaf can’t stop itself from falling and neither could I. Everything I do, I do for you.” It only takes him half a second to recognize the lines and he’s stunned, transported back to that garden under the stars. “I remember all of them… I remember everything you’ve made for me.” You give him fleeting peripheral glances and avoid his gaze like you’re ashamed of that.

He nods, frantic and eager. He’s making headway. He honestly didn’t think you’d let him get this far. Your eyes widen when he drops down onto his knees before you smooth your face into a blank mask. “They’re all yours. And they’ll keep being yours even if you still hate me when I leave this room. Everything I’ve written since I met you has been for you.’’ He confesses, hands moving to grip the arms of your chair, but is it really a confession? The Capitols love his poetry because they adore the idea of Finnick Odair being devoted to them, longing for them and, for that, you’ve always been his muse.

You stare down at him, giving no indication that anything he’s said has swayed you. He grits his teeth through the sting of rejection and sighs, arms falling to his sides.

“I can’t tell you how sorry—”

“Why now?” You cut him off. “It’s been two years. You don’t owe me anything, Finnick, so if this a guilt thing—”

“I–It’s not. I mean, it is, but it’s not…it’s not why I’m here.” He sits back on his haunches, running a hand through his hair. “We could die tomorrow. And I don’t want you going into that arena thinking that I don’t love you or…or that I wanted to leave you.”

You squint at him, face twisting into a sour scowl.

“You said,” you drawl, slow and drawn out like you’re explaining something fundamental to a child, “you thought it was best if we ended it.”

He shakes his head. “I lied. I had to and I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I know I hurt you and I know saying sorry won’t be enough, but please know sending that letter was the last thing I wanted to do. Leaving you was the last thing I wanted to do.”

“What? What are you talking about? You said—”

He holds his hands up, stopping your completely warranted stream of questions.

“I know. I know what I said and I never would have said it if Snow hadn’t shown up at my house—”

“Snow showed up at your house?” Your arms unfold and you lean forward so suddenly that he almost flinches back. “When?”

“Uh, a few weeks before I sent the letter. He’s the only reason I even sent it.” He scoffs, remembering the state he was left in after Snow offered the ultimatum. He doesn’t need to try to remember the words written in the letter he sent you because he’s never forgotten. They’re tattooed on the back of his eyelids, seared into his memory every time he blinks.

“What did he want? What did he say to make you…” He watches you try to articulate your confusion. What led to this? What could have possibly been worth giving you up?

“Snow, he was convinced that our relationship would somehow lead to—to civil unrest. His solution was to get rid of one of us, get rid of you. I couldn’t let that happen. He never explicitly said it, but you know how he is, how he speaks …I was scared. I was. I didn’t—” His voice cracks and you stare down at him with stunned, wide eyes. He wants to shuffle closer. He wants to sway into you and take some kind of comfort. But he doesn’t. “I didn’t know what to do and I couldn’t just tell you because you would have tried to find some kind of loophole and we couldn’t afford to make him more hostile than he already was.”

You look to your left out of the wall-length windows and smirk, completely throwing Finnick off.

"Star?"

You stand. He watches as you pace the length of the room before turning on your heel and walking onto the balcony. He can do nothing more than follow you.

“He came to my house too, you know. Around the same time, I think. He wanted to remind me about how privileged I am.” You snort and that sick feeling is developing in his stomach, organs twisting to make room for the settling dread. He isn’t sure what he thought you’d do in light of the revelation, what he expected you to say, but it’s not this. “Went on and on about how thankful I should be that he was allowing us to be in a relationship and…and that as long as I kept myself in line, I could keep you.” You sigh, propping your elbows on the railing and placing your face in your hands.

He doesn’t know what to do. Speechless doesn’t even cover it. His anger is there, and he doesn’t see that ever leaving him...but he’s been angry for so long and tired for even longer.

“We played right into his hand, Finnick. He gained something from this, bastard that he is.” You scoff. You turn and sit with your back against the glass railing. "That's all that matters to him."

Finnick stews on it and many things are starting to make sense. In the months leading up to the event, the two of you started seeing each other less and less—long stretches of time where all he had was your perfume and words to keep him company. And considering Snow was the only way either of you were allowed to come to the Capitol… Of course. It all seems so fucking obvious now.

"I should have known better. Snow was never gonna kill you, he's too fucking—dammit.” He stops and shakes his head. So much lost time, so much pain. All unnecessary in the end.

“Come sit down, Finn.”

Finn.

He hasn't been called that in a long time. He takes a second to stare unseeingly at the stars before sliding down beside you.

It's quiet. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't know if there's anything he should say, and he's sure you feel the same. But he does know if it was up to you, you'd both sit in silence for the foreseeable future and he has two years' worth of confessions to make.

“The mo—” he stops, overwhelmed by how much he wants to say, but nothing feels good enough, “I loved you the moment you laughed at my stupid joke the first time we danced together and I have loved you ever since. Even when I wasn’t there to show you, even when I—I left you. I’ve loved you the entire way, Star. There are billions of suns out there, billions of universes, and I love you in every one.”

Your head whips up.

“I remember everything you’ve made for me too.” Your mouth twists, brows furrowing as you stare at him and he can’t express how good it feels to be seen.

"I don’t hate you.” You shrug a shoulder, smiling small and quick. “You said ‘even if you still hate me’, I don’t hate you.”

“...You don’t?”

“I tried to. For a while, I thought I did." He shouldn’t be surprised by that. He shouldn’t be hurt by something he explicitly told you to do in his letter. Finnick shouldn’t be a lot of things that he is. “But I just…couldn’t." You grimace "I didn’t even want to, after a while. I was just tired.”

His head thumps against the railing. He closes his eyes. There's a question on his tongue, an answer he shouldn't need but wants regardless.

“Is that why you stopped sending letters?” When he opens his eyes again, he’s relieved that you’re still facing him.

Your face twists like you’ve tasted something sour, something rotten. “I just…I was fine waiting for you, Finnick. It was hard, but it didn’t hurt. Not too bad, at least. I would’ve waited a thousand years because it would have been worth it to hold you for a second. And I could get through that because I knew you were waiting for me too. But, I realized you were never coming. And, eventually, I realized…you weren’t waiting either." You whisper, wrapping your arms around your legs as you pull your knees up. He stiffens, freezing in place as he tries to slow his heartbeat.

He drops his head, brows furrowed as he tries, and fails, to stop tears from forming. It's just, it's cruel. The one thing he promised himself he'd never do—leave you, hurt you—he had to do for you.

He wipes his face, pressing the base of his palms into his eyes.

"Star, I…I would never…It killed me to write that letter, you have to know that, right? Right ?" He implores, voice rough while his breath hitches repeatedly. His throat feels tight and swollen as he stutters over the words in his chest. The words you have to hear, the words he needs you to hear. You stare forward, refusing to look at him anymore and he turns to face you full-on, refusing to look at anything but you. "How can I let you know that? What can I do—to prove—that I'm sorry?"

He thought you both had changed too much to be fluent in what you two used to have. He thought it was a different language, but here, up close, he can see that it’s not so much a new language as it is a cipher. You just had to let him get close enough to understand again. He always thought you had such an open face, it was a wonder to him how you could lie so eloquently when you could never lie to him. But it wasn’t until he was shut out that he realized you were letting him read you, subconsciously or otherwise. He reads you now, eyes tracing your face eagerly—hungrily, and finds…remorse?

"I know you’re sorry. I know. And logically, knowing the truth should make it easier to get over it.” Your mouth opens and closes, hesitating. “But you left me." He nods hard enough to hurt his neck. "I did." And he's sorry, he's sorry, he's so sorry. He doesn't think there's enough air on the planet for him to tell you just how sorry he is. "You left me, Finnick. I know it isn’t rational to feel this way knowing you didn’t want to, but…” You lick your lips, resting your cheek on your knee. When you look up at him, actually look at him and not somewhere over his shoulder, the glossy state of your eyes has him digging his nails into his hands to ground himself. "It’s just—it’s a real challenge to separate you from that hurt." I’d take that hurt from you if I could, he thinks. I’d grit my teeth through the pain and wear it proudly if it meant you’d have a moment of relief. He doesn’t say any of that. Instead, he says, "I'm sorry, Star." Because, really, what else is there to say? There’s no way to describe everything he’s sorry for.

"...I'm sorry too." You say and he wants to tell you there’s nothing to apologize to him about, but you lock your pinky with his and it’s enough to make his throat tighten, and all he can manage is a wistful sigh at the feeling of coming home.

Far below you, the sound of the city is dampened by the distance but no less heard. He goes to speak but spots a flash of blue out of the corner of his eye. It’s your ankle. Or specifically, what’s on your ankle.

“You wore it?” He asks, touching the fraternal twin of his own bracelet. He appraises what he thought was lost reverently. Tracing the grooves of the shells, the divets in the charms, the rough twine of the rope—it all feels like a live wire under his fingers.

“I never took it off.” You slip your heel off, loosening the straps of the bracelet and wiggling it down your foot. “I just thought it might be a little sad to parade it around when you didn’t want me.”

“There will never be a moment on this Earth of me not wanting you, not while I still have air in my lungs. Not even after.”

“And how’ll you manage that?” You ask, your eyes crinkling in that old mirth you used to wear around him like a beauty mark.

“For you? I’ll find a way.” He promises.

You hum, appraising the jewelry briefly before passing it to him. He smiles when you lift your hand, silently prompting him. He places the bracelet on you, tightening it on your wrist. It feels like muscle memory when he lifts your hand to place a kiss on the center shell.

The corner of your mouth twitches up and you nod. “Okay.”

He leans in, placing a hand on the base of your neck and pulling you towards him and he’s still in awe that you actually let him. He holds the back of your head as you bury your face in his chest, wrapping your arms around his slender waist.

"I'm not asking for forgiveness, it wouldn’t be fair.” He murmurs into the crown of your hair. “But after we do this, I want the chance to make it up to you." If you'll let him, he'll spend the rest of his life mending what he tore apart.

“I think…I’d like that.” You speak into his chest and he feels your voice more than he hears it. “It was for you too.”

“What was?”

“The song I played onstage. I wrote it after it all happened. I couldn’t touch the violin without thinking of you, Finn. You were the only person I ever wanted to play for.” You whisper and it feels like he’s been punched in the stomach. Finnick’s taken by the sudden need to look in your eyes more than anything, to see and know you and be seen and known in return. He pulls back enough to look down at you.

“Star.” He begs you beseechingly, and there’s no hesitation when you look up at him. He grins. It feels like it’s been years. “There you are.”

You smile. It's small and heavier than he remembers, but it's there and he is as whole as he will ever be.

A/N: IMAGINE POURING YOUR HEART OUT AND EXPRESSING HEARTFELT INTIMACY TO THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE JUST TO GET DUMPED yeesh. fun fact: "...but if you only dug a little deeper you’d find your picture framed and hanging along the walls of my soul." I actually texted this to my beta reader about Finn from Adventure Time after seeing an edit bc I love him so much, but then I converted it into Finnick love. also, Finnick's letter was one of the first things I wrote for this story months ago. That balcony talk was inspired by Hozier's Unknown/Nth WE IN THE ARENA NEXT CHAPPY

#3d wifey talks #3d wifey answers #finnick odair x reader #hunger games catching fire #finnick odair #and they'd find us in a week #finnick #finnick odair fanfic #catching fire #the hunger games x reader #hunger games smut #hunger games fanfiction #finnick fanfic #thg finnick #finnick x reader #finnick x you #finnick imagine #hunger games finnick #the hunger games

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proudahgase-exol · 9 months ago

Text

I’m not longer your muse?

Hongjoong x reader

Summary: Overhearing a conversation between Hoonjoong and a girl he was working with, made you to notice a change in their relationship and perhaps the end of yours thinking he likes her more than you.

Your pov:

When I started dating Hongjoong, I knew that he would be busy most of the time, but what I didn’t know was that he would want to be around even when he was busy. As the relationship progressed, he became more comfortable telling me about his problems and insecurities. He also started to share his work with me. When he was working on a song, he would ask for my opinion, wanting to know what I thought.

When he is stuck on a song, he will ask for my advice. When he wasn’t inspired by writing a song, he would ask if I could accompany him. He called me his muse multiple times and told me he would just look at me or talk to me, and he would immediately get inspired.

Now, lately, I have seen that change. Since he began working with this new girl, he rarely calls me or texts me; he also doesn’t call me to ask if I could visit him at the studio.

I guess he was busy with this new project, and you understood. But as the days passed, I didn’t hear from him. The only way I got any updates on him was from Seonghwa, who would tell me what Hongjoong was up to. I didn’t think anything bad about him spending time with this new girl; I understood it was his job.

But when the song came out, I thought everything would go back to normal, but I was wrong. I mean, he did text back, but his replies were short; he would call just to say good night or to apologize for not being able to talk for longer.

It made me sad because, from what Seonghwa told me, he had more free time; he wasn’t that busy, and again, I didn’t think anything of it.

—

A few days ago, I had a talk with the boys, and San asked if I could make him one of my special desserts since it’s been a while since I made them anything, and I agreed. I also made them a meal that I knew they would love.

After spending a few hours preparing the delicious food, I packed everything and made my way to the KQ building. I had found Mingi walking in the lobby, so I ran to him. He told me Hongjoong was in the studio and the rest were in the dance practice, so he walked me to the dance practice so I could give him and the boys their food before going to Hongjoong’s studio.

After I give the boys their food, I make my way down to Hongjoong’s studio. I was so excited to see him. It's been a while since we last talked. When I got near his door, I noticed it was cracked open. I could see him sitting and chatting with this new girl, and as I got closer, I could hear what they were talking about.

I wasn’t trying to spice things up for them, but when I heard my name being mentioned, it got me curious, so I stayed silent and heard what they were talking about.

"Yeah, yeah, it’s alright and all, but she doesn’t really understand the music industry like you. I try to teach her, but she just doesn’t understand." Hongjoong said with a sigh.

"Well, you have me if you ever need someone to understand you. I mean, we have been working for a while now, and we understand each other perfectly,” she said as she rubbed his arm.

"Yeah, since I started working with you, I've had a lot of inspiration. It’s like your personality gives me inspiration, a new kind that Y/N doesn’t give me, and this is what I needed,” he replied, laughing.

“I’m so glad we understand each other since we have been working together. I've seen that you kind of like having me around more than your own girlfriend,” she said in a teasing tone.

"Yeah, that’s kind of true with you. I can talk about things she doesn’t understand, and let’s not mention the fact that we have the same interests. I like hanging out with you." Hongjoong said, smiling.

"Hey, we should go out to have dinner again. The new restaurant you took me to last Friday was amazing,” she said excitedly.

"Yeah, of course, let’s finish this up, and we can go there,” he said, getting back to work.

As I listened to them, it made me realize that, in fact, he hasn’t been spending much time with me, always claiming to work late when in reality he’s gone out with her. I also realize that their relationship has changed from being professional to being very friendly.

I was so heartbroken hearing him talk about how much better she was at understanding him than me; it broke me and made me feel stupid.

I understand I might not know much about being a music producer or music in general, but I try to understand him and learn from him. I tried so hard to the point where I had to beg Seonghwa to teach me a few things so I could surprise Hongjoong just by having him say that about me.

As I looked at them one last time, I noticed how close she was to him and how he didn’t push her away from him. It hurt me to see them, so I just left. I placed the lunch bag in front of the door, and I walked away, trying to keep my tears from falling.

As I was walking out of the building, I saw the Ateez manager walk up to me and ask if I was leaving so soon. I just smiled at him and walked away. I just wanted to leave as soon as possible.

—

Once I got one, I broke down crying, thinking about my relationship and whether I was even good enough for Hongjoong. I thought back to our relationship: was I really his muse, like he claimed I was? Is he tired of me? Did he want someone who understood him perfectly? All those questions started to come to mind.

After a few hours of crying, I went to take a shower and then to take a nap. I was tired of crying, and I needed a nap.

The next morning, I got a message from Seonghwa asking if I got to talk to Hongjoong.

Haw💗: Hey, did you get to talk to Hongjoong?

Me: No, he was busy.

Haw💗: Well you can try again today. We got off early, so you can come over.

Me: I don’t think he will be free. I mean, I guess he’s busy with his new friend.

Haw💗: I’ll convince him to hang out with you don’t worry.

Me: No, it’s okay. I just wish he would want to hang out with me instead of her and own his own account, not having to be asked to...

Haw💗: I swear, he’s kind of stupid sometimes he’ll come around. Don't worry.

Me: I hope that when he does, it’s not too late.

Haw💗: hey! have some faith he can be obvious at times, but he’s a good guy.

Me: If you say so, anyway, I’m going out with my friend, so talk to you later.

Haw💗:Okay, have fun.

Right after I was done texting Seonghwa, I called a friend of mine to see if she wanted to do something, and she agreed. I needed to get my head off Hongjoong, and I knew she would keep me busy.

We had agreed to go to the mall, so she had picked me up, and once we arrived, we went to our favorite stores, and we were having a good time. Then we went to get a bubble, and we got our drinks. I heard a voice that I could recognize anywhere, so I looked for it, and then I found it.

It was Hongjoong and his friend; they were here at the mall, laughing and acting way too friendly. What got me confused was that Seonghwa said that they would be off early and that they would be at the dorms, so why was Hongjoong here?

I was standing there, just looking at him with a hurt and betrayed look on my face. I just understood why he was spending so much time with her instead of me, his girlfriend.

Then I saw him turning around with a smile on his face. He looked up to me, and his smile slowly started to disappear once he saw the expression on my face. I saw him walking my way, but I turned around and called for my friend, telling her it was time to go.

After we had left the mall, my friend dropped me off at my house and left, telling me to call her once I had called down.

Twenty minutes didn’t pass when I heard a knock at the door, and I immediately knew it was Hongjoong. As much as I didn’t want to open the door, I did because I wanted an explanation. I wanted to know if our relationship was over.

Once I opened the door, I moved aside so he could get in and then close the door. I watched in silence as he took his coat and shoes off and walked into my living room.

He sat down and gestured for me to do the same, and I did, but on the other side of the couch, not wanting to seat to close to him. The room got quiet, but then he started talking.

"Hey, it’s been a long time. I haven’t seen you in a while,” he said nervously.

“Why are you talking nervously? Had you done something wrong? You only talk like that when you know you're in trouble,” I asked, ignoring what he had said.

"Well, I don’t know what I did; I just know that you're upset with me,” he said, looking at me.

“You got to be fucking kidding me,” I said under my breath.

“So why are you mad? By the way, I got you food. My friend thoughtit was delicious, and I also like it,” he said, smiling.

“Is it always going to be about her? If so, please save this bullshit and get out of my place,” I reply, pissed.

“What? What are you talking about?” He asked, confused.

“Every since you started to work with her, everything become about her. All the conversations we had were about her. I replied, raising my voice.

"Wow, calm down. Why are you so mad at her? She did nothing wrong,” he said, defending her.

"See, here we go again. Look, let’s save each other time and end this here. I overheard what you told her. I heard when you told her that she was your new muse and how she understood you better than I did, so if you love her so much, please leave and never come back. You are just hurting me." I said I was trying not to show my pain. Through my voice

“You were there? So you were the onewho left the food? Why didn’t you walk in?” He asked, surprised.

“San had asked if I could make his favorite dessert, and I thought, Why not make you all some food that will give me the excuse to come see you? But you were already busy and talking badly behind my back, so I just left, and now I want you to live. If you're just going to ignore the problem, please go back to her since she seems to understand you.” I said, getting up from the couch and walking to my bedroom.

After a few seconds, I heard the front door open and close, letting me know he had chosen her. I just sat down on my bed and broke down crying, knowing he actually chose her over me. He chose someone else over some he knew longer.

After crying for an hour or so, I fell asleep. I didn’t have the energy to do anything. I felt miserable. I felt lost and hopeless, so I just fell asleep.

Hongjoong pov:

After I left your place, I walked back to the dorms, and once I walked in, San and Wooyoung came running, asking where I was and if you were with me, but once they saw I was alone, they went back to the living room, and Seonghwa asked if we could talk.

We went to his room, and he closed the door and asked me to sit down, and with a very serious tone, he asked where I was.

“Where were you?" He asked, “Were you with y/n?" Did you know she wanted to see you for so long?”

“How do you know she did? How much time have you been spending with her?” I asked, annoyed.

“Since you started to ignore her and since she asked me to help her on something,” he answered.

“Why had she wished you to help her? Why can’t she come to me if she needs help?” I asked, pissed.

“She’s been seeing that you would rather spend time with your new lady friend instead of her; she also doesn’t have many friends, and she chooses to hang out with me; she also wanted to surprise you, idiot,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“What do you mean surprised me?” I was confused.

“She wanted to show you that she can understand your work and that she can help you when you are stuck on a song. She wanted to show you that she understands the music industry. She came to me for help to surprise you. She came and asked. I said no; I want you to help her, but she began to begg, so I agree." He replied, raising his voice.

“She really begged you to teach her,” I asked in surprise.

"Yes, and right before you got here, she texted me, telling me that she thinks you guys broke up. She told me that she would miss the boys and me. So tell me, did you really end the relationship fir this new girl? Was she worth your relationship? Was she worth hurting? Was she really better than y/n?" He kept asking as he walked back and forth angrily.

“She thinks we broke up,” I asked.

"Yeah, I would too if I were her. You know you could be a better boyfriend if you just paid a little more attention to what she was doing and the effort she tried to put into your relationship. So if you want to fix your relationship, you should go and apologize and tell her how you really feel. And if what you say to your lady friend has any meaning, then just end things with her; she doesn’t deserve all this pain,” Seonghwa said, and walked out of his room.

—

After talking to Seonghwa, I went to my bedroom and sat down on my bed, and I just thought about everything Seonghwa said. I was so upset with myself that I let myself go, and I became someone I didn’t recognize, and it’s costing me my relationship.

I was thinking of ways to apologize to y/n, but no matter what, I still think about the way I treated her and how I ignored her to spend time with someone else. I was disgusted by my behavior, and I wish I could have done this differently.

After I just sat down thinking about what I should do, I tried to go to sleep, thinking it was best to work things out tomorrow, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t fall asleep. Guilt was eating me up. I couldn’t stop thinking about how y/n might be feeling, and the thought of it didn’t let me sleep.

The next day, I woke up before the guys and left the dorms. I went for a walk, then I went to buy stuff to make something to eat for y/n.

Once I got into her apartment, I went to her kitchen as quietly as possible and started to cook her something delicious.

After a few minutes, I heard her walking down the hallway. Then I saw her right behind me, and I was kind of scared to face her just to have her kick me out, but then she started talking in a low voice.

“What’s all this? What are you doing here? I thought we ended things,” she asked.

"Well, I thought I could make you something delicious to eat than we could talk about last night, if that’s okay with you,” I asked nervously.

“You better have a good excuse because I’m so ready to end everything. I’m not going to be anyone’s joke,” she replied as she sat down on the kitchen table.

“I promise I’ll try to fix everything. I’ll do everything I need to fix my mistakes,” I said in a low tone.

After I was done cooking, I placed everything on the table and sat down across from her. As she was eating quietly, I was scared to do or say anything, so I just looked down at my lap.

I was coming up with ways to fix my relationship. I really didn’t want to lose her, and that scared me. She has been the best thing that has happened to me, and I’m afraid to lose her because I know that without her, I’ll be a mess.

Ever since we started dating, she has been there to help me every step of the way. She helps me a lot with so many things, one of them being the boys. They love her so much that they respect her and obey her more than me.

After she was done eating, I cleaned up as she went to sit on the couch. I was so nervous. I hoped she could forgive me. I hoped I didn’t mess it up too much.

Once I was done cleaning, I went to sit on the couch with her. I was nervous still, but I had to get this over with, so I started to talk.

“I’m sorry for how I have been acting. I haven’t been the best boyfriend, and I have been ignoring it. I’m so sorry. I wish I could have acted differently." I said not looking at her in the eye.

“Am I no longer your muse?” She asked sadly, “I mean, I heard what you told her that she gives you a new kind of inspiration that I don’t give you, and that to me, it seems that I’m no longer your muse, the one you needed.”

“I was stupid for saying anything like that but knowing that I might lose you that I might lose the one that made way days better scares me. Your all I need, your all I think about, and you help me when I need help with my music.” I said, finally looking at her.

“But I didn’t understand you the way you would like. I tried my best to do so, but I just failed to understand your world,” she said as some tears fell from her eyes. “You know, ignoring me really hurt me. I thought I was going to lose you to her. I thought you didn't love me any more.”

"No, baby, you are and forever will be my muse. You are the reason why I’m always working. You always encourage me to do my best. I can’t ever replace you your everything I want and need,” I said, smiling softly. “I'm sorry for ignoring you. I was acting stupid, and I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't think I would make you feel this way.”

“Did you ever think of ending our relationship to be with her? Do you actually have more things in common with her than with me?” She asked, unsure.

“Yes and no.” I replied in a chuckle, “We do share the same musical interests and a few other things, but I have more things in common with you, like our sense of humor and stuff we like to do in our free time.”

“I mean, yeah, but is that enough for you? Are you okay with me not understanding you one hundred percent?” she said, smiling.

"Yeah, it doesn't bother me; it actually gives me a reason to teach you new things. Baby, I'm so sorry. I need you. I can’t imagine being without you. I want to go back, like before. Have you in the studio, and be my little helper.” I said, putting y/n into my chest.

“I don't know. Convince me, and I might,” she said, smiling up at me.

“I’m sure I came up with something in the meantime. I heard from some that you beg him to teach you a thing or two about music. Is that true?” I asked, teasing

“I’m going to kill Hwa; he promises not to say anything, but he rats me out to you,” she said, blushing.

“You know, that’s kind of cute and sweet of you to try to surprise me, but don’t go to him or any of the boys; I get jealous, and don’t make food for the boys only for me,” I said, whining.

“How can I say no to the boys, especially Sannie? He looks so cute with his cute puffy cheeks and that cute voice he makes. It’s hard for me to say no to them,” she said, giggling.

"Baby, I promise not to ever ignore you. No for another girl, not for nothing; your all I need and want. I’m sorry for my actions. Because of that, I almost lost you. I can’t afford to lose you, and from now on, I will not talk to her or hang out with her unless I really have to, but I’ll make sure you're there as well." I said, kissing the top of her head.

As we sat on the couch, hugging each other, I couldn’t help but think that I could have lost her. I could have lost the only person who made my bad days good and who was there to support me, my little muse. I can’t believe she forgives me now. I won’t ever make the same mistake again. I can’t afford to lose her, not when she has done so much for me. I will make sure to show her how much I love and appreciate her.

~~~

I hope you guys enjoyed it and sorry if it was bad :(

#ateez imagine #ateez hongjoong #ateez x female reader #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #hongjoong x reader #kim hongjoong #hongjoong x y/n #hongjoong x you #hongjoong fanfic #hongjoong #ateez hongjoong x reader #ateez hongjoong imagine #ateez #kpop fanfics #kpop imagines #kpop x female reader

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melissatalks · 6 months ago

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Been thinking bout you

Request: "A story where it’s a person with adhd at a Renee concert, and she sees them stimming or smth and they have a talk and exchange numbers, ect ect. Go crazy with it !!"

A/N: I was soooo excited to write this one!! Also I didn't know if you wanted gender neutral but I only write gxg. It's not my best tho.

Y/n pov:

It's a Saturday morning, my friend had gotten me Snow Hard Feelings tour tickets as an early birthday gift since the show happened six days before my birthday. I grew up being a huge Broadway nerd so when I had the opportunity to go to New York to go see Mean Girls I made sure to have the best tickets and have a chance to meet some of the actors at the end of the show. Luckily, I met Reneé and I have been following her work ever since.

It was 7 AM and I was now getting ready to go line up to have a chance to get barricade. Léa said that she would pick me up by seven thirty so I had to hurry. I put on a long white skirt with my snow angel crop top. I put my hair up in a half up half down adding a little blue heart shaped hair clip. As I finished my look, I heard the buzz of my apartment ring. Grabbing my coat, I got downstairs then took the bus with Léa down to MTELUS.

After queuing for a few hours, we got to the barricade right in front of where my long time celebrity crush will be standing in a few minutes. I had forgotten to take my pill this morning so my energy was taking over. In such a crowded place it was hard to move which meant that I couldn't let any of it out and it resulted in me playing with my rings, picking my skin or even hitting myself. As the concert finished, my once long nails were short, the buts on my fingers were bleeding and my arms had a few bruises on them. I felt incredibly guilty knowing that it was all my fault but it is what it is. Léa and I were crying in each other's arms before walking to the meet and greet line even though I have met her before, I'm still so nervous.

Léa was filming as I walked up to Reneé. She immediately pulled my into a hug while I sobbed in her shoulder. When I calmed down Reneé asked me if I wanted her to pull away and I shook my head slowly.

"I do gave limited time baby but let me tell you, I've been thinking about you a lot recently and when I saw you in the crowd I was like genuinely so happy." She said in a low tone all while continuing to smile. She has such a warm and welcoming smile.

"Also I dont wanna be indescrete but I saw your hands are you okay?" Reneé continued this time looking right into my eyes.

"Uh yeah...I needed to get energy out and so I stimmed...you know how it is." I answered feeling honestly embarrassed even if I know I shouldn't be.

"I do, do not worry. Alright well I have to go but check your pockets." She whispered in my ear, tapping the left pocket of my coat discreetly.

When I got home, I remembered what Reneé had said and found a note that was scribbled "You're cute and funny, you also seem really fun to hang out with. Here's my number." I feel like if I'm in a fanfiction. Let's just say I went to sleep feeling pretty good that night.

A/N: short oneee made that while rewatching spirited away 🫶🏻

#renee rapp #renee rapp x you #reneé rapp x reader #renee rapp imagine #renee rapp x y/n #renee rapp x reader #oneshot

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americas1suiteheart · 10 months ago

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This is also another one that hasn't been requested, but the FOB brain rot is real guys. Anyways, this one isn't exactly age accurate I guess?? More so of an AU if anything.

How Misery Loved Me

Patrick Stump x Fem! Reader

[Tumblr did it again and ruined the quality of my gif..]

Summary; I don't know how to write summaries for works that aren't requested, my bad, guys this is my own fault, especially when I know I have asks.💀

Notes; I'm sorry it's another fem reader but school is piling up and finals week is coming up and I still want to write, but fem readers are easier right now. I also just gave the girl that went to the dance with Pete a random name. (This is one of the corniest and most cliché things I've ever written).

Warnings; Mutual pining, foul language, some angst, and there's multiple pov changes.

Word Count; 10,307

0:54 ──ㅇ─────── 3:00

"So, which one do you think looks better?" You ask, turning around to look at Patrick, who was sitting on your bed.

"That one's nice, but I think the second one you wore was better. But seriously, I think you should pick which one you want."

"That's the thing though; I don't know which one I want to wear because I like three of them," You say, falling face down onto the bed in the spot where all the previously discarded dresses were.

"Then take all the other dresses out and pick just those three, and then we can narrow it down to what you want," Patrick says, looking down at you.

You groan and turn over, then get up again, beginning to pick all of the other dresses except for the three that you liked, hanging all of the other ones back up and putting them into your closet.

You take the three other dresses with you behind the divider you had in your room, changing into one of the dresses and walking back out.

"Okay, this one has a pretty colour and it's comfortable, but I think it's just a little too short for my liking, so I think this one can go." You say, looking at yourself in the mirror, smoothing out the dress.

You walk back behind the divider, changing into the second dress and hanging the other one back up.

"This one is a perfect length, and it's a nice colour but the straps constantly fall off my shoulders, but I think if I were to sew them to fit me, or even just safety pin them to my bra, it would probably be okay."

You do the same as you did before, going back to the divider, changing into the other dress, and walking back out.

"This one is comfortable, and it fits good, as well as a good length, but I'm afraid that it's going to end up being too much." You say, looking at yourself in the mirror and turning around.

"That's the one that I liked. I don't think it's too much, though. It looks nice on you," Patrick says, scooting farther back onto the bed.

"So, should I wear this one or the other one?" You ask, looking down at yourself, feeling the material of the dress in between your fingers.

"I think that one,"

You nod, smiling as you go back to behind the divider, changing into your pyjamas this time and laying the dress down nicely for Friday's dance, then putting the other one away into your closet.

After doing so, you close up the divider and lay down on your bed halfway with your legs dangling off of it. You close your eyes and listen to the music playing from your CD player, nodding your head to the song.

You open your eyes slightly, looking up at Patrick and admiring his features. His hair was medium length, with those sideburns that you adored so much. Oh and his smile, he could light up a room with that smile. His eyes were such a pretty blue.

You see Patrick look down at you and then quickly look away when he sees that you were staring at him, you doing the same.

You quickly sit back up from your bed and walk to your player to change the CD.

"I still haven't completed the math homework that's due Thursday and was thinking about what other ones I still had to do. Have you done them yet?" You say trying to get rid of the awkwardness, taking your Catalyst CD by New Found Glory out of its case, then taking the other one out of the player and replacing it, pushing the play button and turning up the volume dial.

You turn back around and see Patrick's eyes widen.

"Oh shoot! I forgot about that! What was it again?" Patrick asks, his hands covering his face.

"We just have to do the problems on page 27 from our books, it's not that hard but I can let you copy mine if you want, I'm not done with it yet so you'll have to finish the rest." You say, walking over to your bag to get your book out.

"That would be awesome, I'll just copy them down on a paper if you don't mind it,"

"Knock yourself out, 'Trick,"

You place the book down onto your small desk in the corner of your room. The desk had scattered sheet music, old graded history and english papers, a table lamp and pencil jar placed on the left, and your closed laptop sitting in the middle of the desk.

The wall it was facing was decorated with old concert tickets and wristbands, framed pictures of you and your family, as well as unframed pictures of you and the rest of the boys, most of them of you and Patrick.

Patrick walks to the desk, sitting down in the chair and grabbing one of your blank lined papers from a spot where more sheet music books were stacked up.

You sit back down onto your bed, humming the beginning of All Downhill From Here to yourself and picking at the fibers on the plush throw.

"Has anyone asked you to homecoming yet?" Patrick says, still looking at the book and copying it down.

"No, not yet. I honestly wouldn't mind not getting asked and just hanging out with you and the rest of the guys though,"

"Really? I'm surprised no one has yet. But Pete has a date to homecoming now actually so I think it would be just me, Andy, and Joe together," Patrick says, placing the pencil down and turning around in the swivel chair.

"Pete got a date? Did he finally ask that girl?" You ask.

"Yup, he lit her yard on fire with the word "homecoming?" and she said yes," He explains.

"He lit her yard on fire?! I don't know about her but if someone lit my yard on fire to ask me to some dance saying yes would be the last thing i'd do, I think that's just common sense though, or at least it should be, but apparently not for her!" You exclaim, looking at Patrick in shock.

"Yeah, I told him it was a bad idea too and he still did it. I've got to give it to him though, at least he was confident enough to do that and it actually got him a date," Patrick laughs.

"Are you going to ask anyone to the dance?"

"I want to ask this one girl, but I don't think I'm going to end up actually doing it, I'm not as confident as Pete is when it comes to that sort of stuff," Patrick says, spinning around in the chair.

Ouch.

"Anyways, I should probably get going now though, it's going get dark out soon and my curfew is coming up, I don't need my mom yelling at me again," Patrick says, getting up from the chair and walking over to you.

"Oh shoot, have you really been here that long? I didn't mean to keep you here that long, sorry about that," You say, getting up.

"Don't apologise, I like hanging out with you, it's much better than just sitting in my bed reading comics the whole time. I mean, I love those comics but again, I much prefer hanging out with you instead," Patrick says awkwardly.

"Okay, get going though, it'll be too dark for you to walk home soon enough," You say.

You give Patrick a hug, him leaning down a little bit as he was just ever so slightly taller than you.

"Alright, bye Y/n, I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for letting me copy, you seriously just saved my ass," Patrick says, opening your door and leaving the room.

You close the door and sigh, sitting at your desk, finishing the last three problems you had, then turning off your lamp and CD player.

You get your bed ready to sleep in, putting the extra pillow on the floor and get under the covers.

I'm so stupid, he's nothing more than a friend and it's always going to be that way, stop creating these stupid thoughts in your head.

You sigh and close your eyes, falling asleep within a few minutes.

---------------------------------------

-Patrick's POV-

"Dude just ask her. If you don't ask soon then some other guy will. There's only two days until homecoming, she's going to get asked, Patrick, believe me." Pete says, leaning against the lockers next to mine.

"I don't know, Pete. I mean, if she says no then it's going to be awkward between us or something, I don't want that." I say, rummaging through my locker for my math book.

"Believe me, Patrick, she'll say yes." Pete puts an arm on my shoulder and gives me a look.

I sigh and close my locker, not being able to find the book. It's fine, I didn't need it right now anyways. I'll have to look for it when I get home though.

The bell rings and I walk to my class with Pete, him departing ways with me shortly after as he had a different class this period.

God I really don't want to be here right now.

Ding! -"Good Morning everyone! Today is Thursday and it's currently 20 degrees out. The yearbook club is meeting today during lunch, as well as chess and game club. Those that need to retake their photos have today and tomorrow to do so, and those that need to retake any midterm tests will do so next week on Tuesday in the Algebra classroom or room B213. And now for the most exciting announcement; homecoming is coming up tomorrow and tickets are still being sold during lunch time, so maybe get yourself and a special someone a ticket as they won't be sold at the door. Those that are helping plan the dance will need to meet in the student lounge until Friday. Have a great day, and once again buy those tickets!"- Click!

'Ugh. Another reminder that I still don't have the balls to ask her out to the dance.' I think to myself, pinching the bridge of my nose and getting all of my things out for the class.

I sit through the class, taking notes as the teacher talks, ignoring the balls of scrunched up papers being thrown across the classroom. The class seemed to go on so much longer than it usually felt like it did, but maybe it might be the rowdiness of my classmates.

I finish the class and continue to go to all of my other periods until lunchtime. Finding my regular table with everyone else and place my bag down and head to the lunchline, which was almost always shorter except for Wednesdays as the food tended to be much better then everything else all the other days.

Honestly though, most of everyone's lunch breaks are just spent waiting in line unless you either got lucky enough to be first or if you brought your own lunch for the day.

After standing in the line and finally getting my tray, I head back to the table.

"...No, no, no, no, no. You don't understand guys, this is like, the first time I've ever been asked to any kind of dance ever. This is huge for me!" Y/n exclaims, slamming their hands on the table.

"I don't know man, the guy that asked you is kind of an asshole," Andy says, everyone else other than Y/n agreeing.

Shit, I should've listened to Pete.

"Come on dude, you're really gonna ditch me, Patrick and Andy for some guy that you've never had a conversation with?" Joe says as he continues chewing on his sandwich.

I place my tray onto the table, sitting down in between Pete and Y/n in the seat that I was always in.

"Pat! Hold on I was looking for one of my CD's this morning when I was getting ready and found this under one of my blankets I had on the floor. I think you might've left it the last time we studied together." Y/n says, pulling a large math book out of her bag and handing it to me.

"Oh shit, thanks, Y/n. I was looking for this earlier this morning," I say, taking the book from her hands, looking at it for a second and then placing it inside my bag.

"Yeah no problem. Oh, oh! You'll never guess what happened during the second passing period," She says excitedly, grabbing my left shoulder and shaking it slightly, then patting her hand quickly on it.

"What happened?" I ask, taking a bite out of the sandwich on my tray of food.

"So, you know that guy Mark in our chemistry class right? He kinda has like this dark brown semi-curly hair, the one that always wears that letterman jacket,"

"The guy that pushed me directly into that one girl because I wouldn't give him my notes?" I say, swallowing the bite of my sandwich and opening my carton of milk.

"He did that to you?" Y/n asks, gently placing her hand on my back.

I dismiss her hand, "That doesn't really matter, did he ask you to the dance?"

Y/n's face had a hurt look, one that I couldn't quite place my finger on. Her face then softened, continuing with what she was saying.

"But uh, yeah. He asked me if I wanted to be his date to homecoming and I said yes. He's not a bad looking guy so I figured why not," She finishes, giving a small shrug.

I nod slowly, staying silent as I continue taking bites out of my sandwich, listening to everyone else talk about their own things for the remainder of the lunch period.

I get up and throw my tray with everyone else, grabbing my bag and waiting for Y/n at the table so we can walk to class together.

How come you always have to chicken out on things like this? If you don't start saying something soon to her she's going to-

A sudden light punch on my arm brings me out of my trance, I turn to see Y/n and gently punch her back, smiling at her.

"You okay, Pat?" She asks, a soft smile on her face.

I nod my head, starting to walk with her to our next class together. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just got lost in my head for a second there". Y/n hums and continues walking, pushing past everyone else in the crowded hallway.

Does it make me a bad friend for not being completely happy for Y/n, anyone would be but I can't seem to shake off this feel of jealousy in my body.

Me and Y/n enter the classroom, going to our shared work table and place our bags down on the floor next to it and take our seats.

"What did we work on yesterday in this class? I dozed off," Y/n whispers.

"Oh, I could tell. Did you know that you snore?" I say jokingly.

"Oh shut up, I was out for forty minutes, but can you please tell me what we did?" Y/n says sarcastically, giving me a light punch in the arm.

"We just had a study hall for class. Mr Hadford didn't feel like teaching so he just told us to do whatever, so you're fine unless you absolutely needed to work on something else,"

"Good to know," Y/n places her head onto my shoulder.

---------------------------

-Reader's POV-

"Come on, Y/n. Are you sure you really want to go with Mark Anderson? The guy is a douche, you've seen how he treats people like us!" Pete exclaims.

"What do you mean by people like us? Pete?" I ask, turning around from my desk to look at Pete.

Pete was over at your house because you two wanted to hang out together. He was in the same spot that Patrick sat in your bed the other night. You couldn't help but feel slightly upset with yourself that you agreed to go with mark instead of asking Patrick to go with you. Or instead, hoping Patrick would ask you.

Sure, it'd always been fun just going with the rest of them, you guys just did your own thing and stayed together, dancing how you wanted without caring if other people thought it was odd, because all five of you always had fun.

But for once someone had actually asked you, wanted to go with you, and to be honest, some terrible part of you wished that Patrick would get jealous and ask you to go with him instead.

"You know what I mean by that, Y/n. We've always been the geeks no one else really hangs out with, we've always been the only ones that hang out with each other, because be honest with yourself, when was the last time we ever talked with other people for more than a class period?" Pete explains.

You turn away, going back to what you were doing before. You hated that he was right. Why would some asshole jock ask you in the first place, you'd never even talked to him until earlier, and the conversation lasted 2 minutes at most.

"I didn't mean to be mean, well, maybe just a little, but I have a bad feeling that Mark didn't have good intentions when asking you." Pete says, getting up from the bed, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"But what if Mark is being genuine? What if I said no and missed out on something that could be serious?" I sigh, turning to face Pete.

"But Mark really isn't the best person at all. I mean, he's done something shitty to most of us by now, who knows if he'll do it again, or to you.. As your friend, I don't want you getting hurt, and neither would the rest of the guys, especially Patrick, and you know that. At least I would hope you do,"

"I know, I know.. It's just, ugh god. I mean, you can't say anything, you asked that poor girl by lighting her front yard on fire!"

"So? At least I'm a better guy than Mark Anderson. The guy is notorious for being a douchebag, don't compare me to him." Pete says, falling down onto my bed dramatically.

God, Pete is starting to make me question my decisions, maybe I should listen to him, what if Mark really does have bad intentions.

"I can't believe you didn't ask Patrick to go with you. You know he wouldn't have said no, right?" Pete says, his arm over his eyes.

"When he was here the other night I asked him if he was going to ask anyone to the dance and he said that he wanted to ask this girl. I didn't bother after that, if he already had someone in mind I wasn't going to ask, I don't want to be that type of girl. I've seen other girls do that to guys and it either makes them feel like they're being pressured or in an awkward sort of position." You sigh, finishing organizing the plethora of loose sheet music on your desk and placing it in a folder.

"Whatever man. All I'm saying is that you could've said no to Mark and hung out with the rest of the guys. You didn't have to go with him."

"Piss off, Wentz. I don't want your shitty advice, it's just making me feel worse," You say annoyed.

"I had the balls to ask someone I liked to homecoming, you didn't. You made a mistake and still insist that 'oh come on Pete, he can't be that bad, even if he made your guys' lives miserable, I'm pretty sure he'll be nice even if we haven't ever talked to each other, I want to give this dumb asshole a chance.' And to be honest Y/n, you're kind of a dumbass for that." Pete was now standing up, stopping in front of you two feet away, rolling his eyes and mimicking you.

"Get the fuck out of my room, Pete.." You say, your voice starting to get that raw feeling and tears threatening to form in your eyes. You felt stupid for starting to cry over something you started.

Pete storms out of the room closing your door, you could tell how annoyed he was by the sound of how loud his footsteps were, then leaving your house with a slight slam of the door.

What he said hurt. A lot. And just as before, you hated how right he was, how he was able to tell you every single thing you could've and shouldn't've done and he was still right. He acted like an ass but you knew it was with good intent and that he didn't want you to have the possibility of getting hurt, he was like an older brother in that way, but it pissed you off that he felt the need to scold and talk to you as if you were a child. How did something as simple as hanging out with each other turned into an argument so quickly?

You were too frustrated at that point, and on top of that, homecoming was the next night. God I'm an idiot, I need to sleep..

-Timeskip the next day-

The girls in the hallway giggled and talked to their friends about how excited they were for homecoming. How they were going with their boyfriends or how someone cute or popular asked them.

Despite how excited everyone was around you, you remained nervous and the feeling of anxiety only grew stronger every step you took down the hallway, finally making it to Patrick's locker where Andy, Pete, Joe, and obviously Patrick were standing.

"Good morning, Y/n, or not such a good morning..? Are you okay, man? You look like shit," Joe says, reaching across to examine your face.

"Thanks, Joe. Good morning to you too, I'm just fine," You say, swiping at his hands to get them off of your face.

"Hey, Y/n," Patrick says, giving you a small wave with a smile on his face. Gosh he was always so cute without even trying.

"Hey, Patrick, good morning," You say, mustering a small smile despite how you currently felt. "Good morning, Andy. How are you guys feeling other than excited like the rest of everyone else?" You ask, letting out a sigh.

Groans emit from everyone except Pete, one would know exactly why.

"I don't know, man I'm pretty excited, shouldn't you be too, Y/n? Are you excited to go with Mark?" Pete says, looking at you with a grin on his face.

"Sure, whatever you say, Wentz." You say, glaring at him.

The bell rings throughout the hallways, everyone starts to scramble to their classes, seemingly still talking to their friends about the dance as they do so.

"Me and Andy gotta go to pre-cal, we'll see you guys during lunch. Try not to die from excitement," Joe says, walking down the hallway, giving a monotone "woo-hoo".

We all depart and walk to our separate classes. Math was probably one of the worst first classes to have, or more specifically Trigonometry. It wasn't even that you hated it, but rather the kids in it. They were loud and were often rowdy, and the teacher didn't care enough to say anything about it, and today you knew it was going to be much rowdier than most days. And when you walked in, you were exactly right.

You sat at your desk, placing your bag down and grabbing your book out of it. One more day until winter break starts, just one more day until you don't have to be around this chaos and sleep in.

The class went by quicker than it usually did, you just finished some problems in your workbook and listened to music on your iPod to drown out the sound of your classmates not very quietly talked to others.

After finishing your other two periods you walked through the hallway to get lunch.

Someone from behind grabs your shoulders and gives them a squeeze, "Boo," the voice says quietly. You turn around to see Pete standing in front of you

"Oh uh, hey, Pete." You say, adjusting the straps of your backpack awkwardly.

"Hey, Y/n. I'm sorry about last night by the way, I was kinda being a dick to you and said some things to you that would've been better if they were left unsaid. I don't want our friendship to go to shit so I wanted to apologise." Pete says, looking at you sympathetically.

You sigh and look up at him, "I'm sorry too, Pete. You were right and it upset me that you were, I also don't want there to be any sort of tension between us. I'm honestly kinda glad we resolved it,"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Pete asks, smiling as he begins to walk with you to the lunch line.

"Well, I mean I could've totally lived without being your friend, you're not all that important or whatever," You sarcastically reply.

"Pfft, I think I can say the same for you too, L/n," Pete says and gives you a small punch to your arm.

Both of you get lunch and then head to your usual table where just Andy was sat, reading an issue of Uncanny X-Men with one of his earbuds in.

"Hey, Andy. You're not gonna get any lunch?" You ask, placing your tray onto the table and sit next to Pete.

"Nah, not right now. I'm gonna wait for the line to clear up so I can finish this," Andy replies, taking his other earbud out and wrapping the cord around his iPod.

"Where's Joe and Patrick? Did they come by yet?" Pete talks with his mouth full, shoveling the spaghetti on his tray into his mouth.

"No, they haven't come by yet, I'm assuming both of them got stuck in computer lab, I heard the teacher's an ass so I wouldn't be surprised if they did. Hey, does the spaghetti come without the meat in the sauce or is it just that?"

"Ah okay, thanks, Andy. Yeah they have just the tomato sauce, the meat is an add on type thing," You reply, taking a bite of your food.

Andy gives a nod of affirmation and continues to read the comic in his hands.

You and Pete continue to eat, Andy soon finishes his comic to go get lunch and comes back shortly after.

"Have Patrick and Joe still not come by yet?" Andy says, as he sits back down in his seat and sets his tray down.

"Nope, nothing yet," Pete replies.

Worry began to set in your stomach, nothing could've happened to the two, except maybe Joe getting in trouble and dragging Patrick along with him.

You decide to pull your phone out and ring Patrick and after a couple of rings it goes to voicemail. You hang up and look at your phone for a moment before closing it.

"Patrick leaves his cell on silent during school, try Joe instead, or you could always go look for them." Andy says, swallowing a bite of his pasta before talking.

Shoot you forgot about that. You open your phone back up and dial Joe's number, it doing the same thing as when you tried Patrick's number.

"I'm gonna go look for them, do you guys wanna come with?" You ask, getting up from the table.

Pete looks at Andy then back at me, "Nah, I think we can just stay. Me and Andy still have to finish our food,"

You nod and walk out of the lunch hall, heading down to upstairs building C to get to the Computer Lab. Once you were at the classroom you knocked on the door, not long after the teacher opened it.

"What is it you need?" The teacher says seemingly annoyed.

"Have you seen Patrick and Joe? I believe they have you as their 3rd bell and I haven't seen them." You ask, slightly intimidated by the teacher's height and demeanor.

"They're in lunch detention right now, actually."

You let out a small 'oh' and thank her before walking back to the lunch hall. Wow, Andy must've been right about her being mean.

You return back to your table and sit back down next to Pete, sighing. "They got themselves stuck in lunch detention,"

"What? How did they do that?" Andy says, Pete snickering next to you.

"I don't know! I went to the computer lab, knocked on the door, then asked the teacher if she'd seen them or knew where they were and she just told me that they were in lunch detention," You explain, running your hands through your hair.

Pete is now laughing even louder and so is Andy, now you can't help but laugh a little with them too.

Lunch finishes and all three of you dump your trays. You grab your bag and start walking to your 4th bell History class.

As you walk in you see Patrick sitting at the table you two share with his head down. You walk to it and place your things down and sit next to him.

"What happened, Stump?" You say, placing a hand on Patrick's arm.

"I don't wanna talk about it." Patrick says with his voice muffled from still having his head down.

"Alright, I won't pry about it, but you have to put your head up so that way we can work. I can't have a partner if he's got his head buried in his arms the whole time." You chuckle, taking your hand off his arm and getting your things out of your bag.

The rest of the day went by and soon enough you were in your room blasting AFI's Sing The Sorrow album as you got ready for the dance.

You had the dress that Patrick helped you pick out and some simple makeup on, just a little bit of eyeliner on your waterline and a light coat of mascara on your bottom lashes, just leaving your top lashes curled.

You pause your music and put the CD back into its case, grabbing your phone on your way out of your room.

You spot your dad sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal, "Hey dad, how do I look? Does it look okay or should I change something about it?"

"Hey, kiddo. You look nice, that looks just fine. Let me take a picture before you head out, okay." Your dad gets up from where he was sitting and gets the camera out

You stand in front of an empty space where paintings he made were the only thing that adorned the walls behind you. You smile and he takes the picture, then he comes next to you and takes a picture of both of you.

"Alright, have fun and don't do anything stupid. Take your coat too, it's cold out." He says as he gives you a hug.

You grab your coat and tell him bye before going outside. Joe was your ride to the dance, so you waited outside for him to come. In a few minutes he pulled up with his hand me down 1998 Toyota Corolla, Andy sitting in the passenger seat.

"Hey, Joe, thanks for taking me. Hi, Andy," You say, getting into the backseat of the car.

"No problem. You stoked for it? Your date is that Mark guy, right?" Joe asks as he begins driving.

"Yeah, I guess."

"You seemed to be stoked about it yesterday, what's wrong now?" Andy asks.

You shrug your shoulders and sigh, regardless of the fact that they couldn't see you. "I dunno, I just- feel bad about leaving you guys, we've been going with each other the past two years now. And on top of that Pete won't be there either because he has a date too."

"Don't worry about us, Y/n, we'll be fine, and you can always come with us and hang out if you get tired of Mark," Andy says and Joe nods in agreement.

"It's not really that, I guess. I mean, I didn't get to ask the guy I wanted to and just kinda said yes to Mark even though I didn't want to go. To be honest the guy is a dick and I've seen how he reacts to other girls rejecting him, and I just didn't want him to spread gross lies about me like he did with the girls that said no to him."

I was stupid for saying yes, but I would've also been stupid if I said no. It was a lose, lose situation and my grave was already dug when he asked me. I'm hoping that he just ditches me and says that it was a joke that he asked me, that no one would ever ask me. You wanted to get out of that situation even if it meant him humiliating you in front of a crowd of other people. You knew that's exactly what would happen if he did do it.

"Why didn't you ask the guy you wanted to before? We had like, two weeks to do so." Joe asks, his eyes still focused on the road.

"Honestly, Joe, I don't know."

Other than the soft music coming from the radio, the rest of the ride to the school was quiet. All of you get out of the car once you make it to the car lot and park. Joe locks his car and you guys walk to the building that leads to the gym, all three of you giving your tickets to the teacher that had a table set outside.

You head into the hall and tell Andy and Joe to go on ahead while you wait for Mark. You felt uneasy about it, just as you thought on the way here, hoped that he would come to say something about you and ditch.

Mark arrived and greeted you and walked next to you until you were inside the gym. You see Pete and wave to him, then spot Joe and see Patrick peeking over to wave to you. You smile and wave back to him but it was cut short as Mark took your arm and pulled you to a spot where other guys and girls he often hung out with were standing.

God, this is not gonna be a fun night..

He introduces you to his friends. Some waved but most of them snicker and sneer at you. You shuffle in your spot uncomfortably as all of them talk to each other, not really knowing who they were and not wanting to be included in the conversations.

The band that was supposed to start the dance off with one song started to play and everyone began to clap to the beat of the beginning.

'She says, she's no good with words but I'm worse. Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue,'

These guys are pretty good, holy shit.

'Way down with words too over dramatic. Tonight it's "It can't get much worse," Vs. "No one should ever feel like"'

You would like to dance and enjoy the music but it just wouldn't feel like it does when you were with the guys. You had no clue what to even do, you just kinda, stood there as everyone in the group just continued talking to each other.

'Dance, dance. We're falling apart to halftime. Dance, dance. And these are the lives you love to lead. Dance, this is the way they'd love, if they knew how misery loved me,'

"Hey, uh, I'm gonna go to the food table, alright?" You tell Mark awkwardly.

"Yeah, uh-huh, whatever, go do what you need to." Mark says, dismissing you with his hand and immediately going back to his conversation.

'Why don't you show me a little bit of spine. You've been saving for his mattress, love,'

You walk to the table, having to push past the crowd before getting there. You grab a cup and pour some punch into it, then grab one of the dessert cups and a spoon.

You sit at the bleachers to eat the dessert and drink your punch, throwing the empty cups and spoon into the trash once you were done and grab a dessert cup for Mark then head back to where he and his friends were.

You tap Mark on the shoulder and raise the dessert cup to him, motioning that you got it for him. "I got you one of these while I was over there."

Mark looks at you with a look on his face you can only decipher as disgust and destain. "I don't know how someone such as you can think that anyone other than your weird little friends would actually want to be next to you. I thought you were supposed to be the smart girl and somehow you still didn't get it." Mark says, laughing at me. His friends doing the same.

'Why don't you show me a little bit of spine. You've been saving for his mattress. I only want sympathy in the form of you. Crawling into bed with me,'

You look at him for a brief few seconds with a blank look on your face before shrugging. "Yeah, that's fair enough, but if you wanted a reaction out of me like all those other girls you could've at least tried a little harder. Thanks, man." You say before walking away, the dessert cup in your hand. You walk back to the table to put it back so it wouldn't go to waste and head to the bleachers. You see Andy sitting, reading one of the comics he brought with him.

You head over and sit next to him. "Hey, Andy. What are you doing here by yourself? Where's Patrick?"

"I could ask you the same. Patrick's in the mosh pit." Andy says, pointing to the pit that formed in the middle of the crowd.

"He's what? How'd that happen? He's not one for that sorta stuff. I'd expect that from Pete," You laugh.

"I think I saw someone drag him in. He was just kinda dancing by himself, I saw some girl slap Joe in the face earlier too, we can only guess why," Andy sighs, setting his comic down.

"So, what happened with Mark?"

'Dance, dance. We're falling apart to halftime. Dance, dance. And these are the lives you love to lead. Dance, this is the way they'd love,'

"He asked me just so that he could embarrass me in front of his friends," You shrug.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry that happened, dude." Andy says.

"Oh I'm fine, it only bothered me a bit but most of it was because he included you guys into it. I'm glad it happened, I get to hang out with you guys now, that is if Patrick comes out of that pit alive." You say, laughing at your own words.

"That's good, I'm glad you're okay," Andy says, picking his comic back up and continuing to read it.

'Dance, dance. Dance, dance. Dance, dance. Dance, dance.'

The song ends and the dance circles and small mosh pits begin to empty, most of everyone else going to their own group as the band starts taking all of their stuff down.

Joe makes his way to where you and Andy were sitting, a glass of punch in his hand. "Oh hey, what's up, Y/n?"

"Nothing much. What earned you a slap on the face by the way?" You ask, Andy snickering next to you, his nose still in his comic.

"We're not going to talk about that, okay.." Joe responds, rolling his eyes and taking a sip out of his cup.

Pete makes his way towards you guys with his date and introduces her to you guys. You wave and say hi, introducing yourself to her as well. She seemed like she was a nice girl.

"Y/n, what happened to Mark?" Pete asks, his hand holding the girl's.

"He just asked to try and embarrass me in front of his friends. It didn't bother me though, I was kind of expecting it honestly. I just walked away after telling him it didn't and came over here and just hung out with Andy," You explain.

Pete gives you a knowing look as a way of saying "I told you so," without saying anything. You roll your eyes at him in response and look at Amy. "So, I'm just curious, what made you say yes to Pete when he asked you to homecoming by lighting your front yard on fire?"

Pete looks at me and then back at Amy. "You don't need to answer that, how about we go and get some punch?" He says. Amy giggled as he began to pull her along with him. He glared at you before he walked away with her.

You stand up and groan a little from your aching feet that the heels were causing, turning around to look at Joe and Andy before telling them you were going to look for Patrick, earning a thumbs up from Andy.

You push past a few people to try and look for him, finally spotting him talking to some girls and then them walking away giggling and whispering to each other.

You walk up behind him and cover his eyes with your hands. "Guess who?" You whisper into his ear.

"I guess Y/n." Patrick chuckles.

You remove your hands from his eyes and he turns around, adjusting his glasses a little bit.

"You look good, Pat." You say, smoothing out his suit jacket with your hands.

"Thanks, so do you." Patrick responds. Both of you look at each other for a few seconds, not paying attention to anything else going on around you. You look away in slight embarrassment, stepping back a little and clearing your throat.

"How was your first mosh? And how did you not die?" You laugh.

"I was just kinda thrown into there unwillingly but I guess it was cool, a little more aggressive than I thought a mosh pit would be, especially for a high school homecoming pit, and I fell once and then left after that happened," Patrick says, looking at his shoes.

There was another awkward silence. You'd known each other for almost 4 years and this is probably the one time where you two didn't know what to say to each other.

"If you guys are done being weird, we were all going to get the picture taken before it starts to get too crowded," Joe says, standing in front of you two and motioning to go with him. You thanked him in your head that he broke that silence

You and Patrick follow Joe to the wall that had a fancy background for students to take pictures, where the rest of the guys, including Amy, were standing waiting for you.

"God, we've been waiting ages for you guys. What were you doing that took Joe so long to find you two?" Pete scolds. He sounded like a mother that had a teenager stay out too long after their curfew and was upset with them. Pete was just always kind of the parent of the group, though. Surprising for someone that acted like such a child sometimes.

"Shut up, Pete. We have people behind us that want to take a picture too, just get the picture taken and then we can do whatever we want afterwards." Joe says, pushing you and Patrick forward to the area as Andy hands the teacher his digital camera.

Everyone gets into their spots, Pete was next to Amy and had his arm around her waist, Joe and Andy stood next to each other smiling, and you put your hands on Patrick's left shoulder and leaned on him like you always did with these photos and smiled. The teacher counts down and takes a couple pictures to get some good shots.

"Do you guys want to do a silly one or are you all too old for that?" The teacher asks.

Everyone says yes and we all get into a new position. Andy and Joe made a heart with both of their hands and leaned towards each other like they were going to kiss, Pete and Amy had their tongues sticking out, and Patrick was holding you bridal style and you put your right arm up in a sort of cheering motion. The teacher then took those pictures and when she was finally done you all got out of position and thanked the teacher as Andy got back his camera from her.

"Let's see, did they get the pictures better than they got them last year..." Andy whispers to himself, but just audibly enough to where people next to him could hear.

You laugh to yourself as you recall last year's pictures. The teacher that was taking them took nothing but blurry pictures or ones where some of us had our eyes closed, there was only one picture that was decent enough that we printed out for ourselves.

You all look over Andy's shoulder or arm as best as you could as he went through the pictures, deleting a few blurry or bad ones here and there, and laughing at the shots of the funny ones.

"We actually got good pictures this year, guys. I'll look through them some more and print out the best ones for all of us." Andy says, turning off his camera and putting it with the rest of his stuff.

"Are you gonna want some prints too?" Andy asks Amy.

She looks at Pete for a second, and then back at Andy, "Yes please, that'd be great."

Andy sends back a thumbs up to her, and Pete takes her back to the "dance floor". That is, if you could even call it that.

"Alright, I'm gonna go find a girl to dance with, maybe more than just to dance with if I'm lucky. Peace!" Joe says before walking away.

"I don't know about that, but maybe you'll be lucky enough to earn a punch to the face this time," You call out, earning a glare and an angry grumble from Joe.

There was a silence for a minute or so after you laughed at what you said and the reaction you got from him. But it wasn't an awkward silence, just one where there was nothing to say afterwards.

Patrick takes a long and deep inhale, not letting it out before saying something. "Maybe I'll find a girl to dance with." Patrick clears his throat and and adjusts his glasses as he turns to look at you.

"I'm sure you will, Patrick. Go to the floor and ask someone." You say, smiling as you encourage him.

Patrick lets out a sigh and looks down at his feet, then back up to you, avoiding your eyes as he speaks. "I'm trying to.. What I'm trying to say is do you want to dance with me, Y/n." He stutters out at first, speaking a little faster as he says the rest. His cheeks and the tips of his ears were flushed red.

You freeze in shock and stare at him with wide eyes, your mouth was slightly agape and you would only assume that your face was probably the same shade of red, if not darker than Patrick's based off of the way you can feel your cheeks starting to burn up rather quickly.

"Um, uh, y-yeah. I'd um, I'd love to, yeah." You stutter out awkwardly, smiling at Patrick.

You look out of the corner of your eye to see Andy with his face in his hands, shaking his head as he does so.

Patrick awkwardly holds his hand out, looking everywhere but at you. You take it and walk with him to the dance floor, and just as you do, a sappy slow dance song comes on.

How on earth could this be one of the only times that a slow dance song comes on? You would've assumed that Pete might've been up to it, but it was probably some unlucky 1 out of 1,000 chance.

"Uh, Y/n? Can I please have this dance with you?" Patrick awkwardly asks. You turn your head to look at him then quickly look at your shoes after a few seconds out of embarrassment.

"Yeah, that'd be great." You say quietly with a smile. You laugh to yourself, glad that you weren't the only one that was nervous. And you had no idea how, but you felt your cheeks getting even hotter than they were before.

You and Patrick face towards each other and you awkwardly place your hands on his shoulders. It was especially awkward when Patrick asked if he could put his hands on your waist.

You both stayed silent and avoided eye contact for the first couple of moments of you dancing together. And no matter how much you were enjoying it, how euphoric it felt, you just couldn't look at him. Though not in a bad way.

You finally look at each other and Patrick gives you a nervous smile, his cheeks still a reddish tint.

You smile back at him and wrap your arms loosely around the back of his neck, pulling him closer to you. It was a bold move even for yourself, and you quickly regret it, wondering if it might've been too bold of a move.

Patrick stiffens a bit, but quickly relaxes and proceeds to dance with you, slowly swaying with you to the music.

"Hey, Patrick. Can I tell you something?" You say, your voice shaking a little.

"Yeah, go ahead." Patrick says just as equally nervous, or at least it sounded like it.

You think for a moment, debating whether if you should tell him what you were going to say or not, then finally deciding you should.

"You can't laugh at me or anything, please." You hesitate for a second. Patrick looks at you with his brows furrowed, what seemed to be a confused look.

"Um, I like you. More than one should be for being just friends with someone. I- what I'm trying to say is that I like you romantically." You admit, shutting your eyes closed in fear for what his face would turn into.

Patrick stops dancing, yet not letting go of you and stays silent for a few moments. You open your eyes to look at him, knitting your eyebrows together to try and pinpoint what exactly his expression was, but not being able to.

Patrick pulls you closer and gently places a shaky hand on your cheek and leans in to kiss you, his lips touching yours.

You freeze for a moment in shock, but ease into it and kiss him back, wrapping your arms a little more tightly around the back of his neck to pull him down, deepening the kiss.

It was definitely an inexperienced kiss, not that you would know that, being this was your first, but it soon turned into a more enjoyable one.

You two pull back, breathing just a little heavier than you normally would. You two looked at eachother, laughing lightly to yourself as you feel the high of exhilaration.

Both of you don't say anything the rest of the song, you just continue to dance holding each other closely, your face buried into his neck and his cheek pressed to your hair.

The song ends, too quickly for your own liking, and another upbeat pop song starts to play.

You hold onto each other for a while longer.

"Do you wanna go back to the bleachers?" You ask, finally pulling away from him.

"Yeah, there's not really much to dance to with this music, it's kinda weird when everyone else isn't with us." Patrick replies, adjusting his glasses.

You smile and slip your hand into his, walking with Patrick to the bleachers where Andy was.

Patrick stops when you two were a few feet away from the bleachers. "Am I just going insane, or do I see Andy making out with that girl over there."

"I was just thinking the same thing." You say, your mouth slightly agape at the sight.

Someone from behind grabs your shoulder, you turn around to see who it was and to no surprise, it was Pete.

"Hey guys, what are you two doing standing here like weirdos? Why aren't you guys dancing together?" Pete says, shaking both yours and Patrick's shoulder gently.

"Because we were just looking at that." Patrick says, briefly pointing at the scene happening on the bleachers.

Pete looks in between you and Patrick to look. "Oh wow, they're really going for it, huh? When did that happen?" He says, seemingly having the same reaction as you and Patrick did.

"We have no clue. We came here to plan on sitting with Andy and it was just already kind of happening. Oh, by the way, where's your little girlfriend, by the way?" You ask, teasing Pete.

Pete rolls his eyes at you and his face quickly turns into one of what you immediately recognised as mischief, one that induced fear upon you. He was about to say or do something you knew you wouldn't like or be happy about.

"How was that kiss by the way? It looked like you two really enjoyed it, me and Amy are happy for you! Maybe we should tell the guys so they can congratulate you guys too!" Pete says enthusiastically with a shit eating grin on his face.

Patrick looks at you with a mortified look, you mirror his expression and turn back to Pete. You couldn't find any snarky remark to say back to Pete, you were just completely speechless after what he had just said.

Amy walks up to Pete and taps him on the shoulder and puts her hand in his when he notices it's her.

"Hey guys! Are you having fun! I saw you two dancing a little while ago." Amy says, a sweet smile on her face.

"Oh uh, hey Amy. Yeah, yeah, we're having fun. Um, what about you?" You ask, stumbling over your words a bit, still thinking about what Pete said.

"Thats good. Me and Pete going to go back to dance, do you guys want to come with us? The dance is about to end in 15 minutes."

You open your mouth to talk only to have Patrick beat you to a response.

"No, we're alright. But thank you for asking, Amy." Patrick replies.

"Alright, have fun! If you need us we'll be somewhere in there." Amy says, grabbing Pete's arm and dragging him to the dance floor. Pete looks over his shoulder and sticks his tongue out at you and Patrick.

"Do you wanna go outside?" Patrick asks, a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, yeah. It's kind of noisy in here." You respond, following along with Patrick. You slipped your hand into his as you continued to walk with him.

You now realized just how sweaty you were. You don't know if it was because of how hot it was inside of the gym or if it was because you were with Patrick. Now that you think about it, it's kind of gross.

As you walk out the doors, you feel the cool wind blow on your face, immediately cooling down how hot your cheeks felt. You both sit down on the grass.

There was a calm silence around you, only having faint music playing from the gym and distant chatter of students and teachers keeping the noise present.

"I would've never thought that would've ever happened." Patrick says, a faint blush on his face as he looked in the distance.

"What? Pete finally getting a girlfriend or Andy making out with that girl?" You snort.

Patrick looks at you and rolls his eyes. "Well, yeah maybe the Pete part, but I mean us. It sounds so cliche but I wouldn't think that I would ever get to, well y'know.." Patrick shrugs.

The way the moonlight illuminated his face made the light freckles peppered across his face more visible, and the way it made the colour of his eyes look all the more beautiful. The chill of the wind made his nose slightly red, and his cheeks had a flush to them.

You smile and look at him. "Honestly, me either. But I'm glad it did."

"I don't know what they put in that punch because I do NOT remember being that confident or bold." You add on, laughing a bit.

You lay down on the grass and look up at him, admiring his features like you did the same way you did the day he was helping you pick out your dress, except when he looked at you this time, you didn't look away.

"It's kind of cold." Patrick says, rubbing the tip of his nose.

You smile and laugh, getting up. "Do you want to go back inside?"

"No, I think I'm ready to go back home. It's too crowded and hot in the gym and too cold out here." Patrick replies, getting up off of the grass and offering you a hand to pull you up from the grass.

"I agree with you there. Do you think you can drive me to my house?" You get up, brushing your dress of from any dirt of dead grass that may have stuck onto the fabric.

Patrick nods and you both walk to his car.

"Should we say bye to the guys before we leave?" You say, getting into the passenger seat of his car and closing the door.

"No I think they should be fine. And Pete would probably just tease us." Patrick says and starts his car, pulling out and exiting the car lot to get onto the road.

The drive to your house was almost the same as the ride Joe gave you to the school, but it wasn't an awkward silence that filled the car but rather a pleasant and calm one.

After about 10 minutes of driving Patrick pulled into your driveway. Both of you got out, as Patrick had insisted on walking you to your doorstep.

"Thank you, Patrick. I had fun with you tonight."

"Yeah, of course. I had fun with you too." Patrick smiles.

You grab onto Patrick's shoulders and lean towards him, gently placing a peck on his cheek, pulling him into a hug after.

"Goodnight, Patrick. I'll talk to you later on, okay?" You say, burying your face into his shoulder.

"Goodnight, Y/n. I'll talk to you later." Patrick says, placing a kiss to your temple.

You two break the embrace and you turn around to open your door, walking into your house and closing the door.

All of the lights were off and it was silent, so you would only assume that your dad was already asleep.

You take off your shoes and take them in your hands and walk into your bedroom.

You close your door and change out of your clothes, throwing them into your hamper and changing into your pajamas.

You smile to yourself as you recall the events of the night, only to be interrupted by a knock at your door.

"Yes?" You shout before opening your door.

"Your friend Andy is on the phone right now, he wanted to talk to you. Here, can you bring it back to me when you're done?" Your dad says, handing you his phone.

"Yeah, of course, dad. Thank you." You say before going to sit onto your bed.

"Hey, Andy, what's up?" You say, holding the phone to your ear.

"Where are you? We've been looking for you for like 15 minutes now." Andy says worriedly.

"I'm at home right now, Patrick drove me. Why didn't you call my cell?"

"Because when I called you I heard your phone ringing in your bag. You left your bag and jacket over here and we thought you were still here because it was left here on the bleachers." Andy scolded.

"Shit! I'm sorry, dude. I didn't mean to worry you." You apologize.

"It's fine. But I'm kind of upset you didn't say bye to me. Do you want me to drop your stuff off later?"

"I'm sorry, I should've said bye. I'll make it up to you, Andy I promise. But if you could bring my stuff for me later on tomorrow that would be awesome."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow then. Goodnight, Y/n."

"Goodnight, Andy. Thank you."

"No problem." Andy says, hanging up.

You shut the phone and get up, walking to your dads room to put his phone onto his nightstand and walk back to your room.

You close your door and pull your covers up and slip into your bed, immediately falling asleep due to the exhilaration of the night wearing off.

3:00 ─────────ㅇ 3:00

AN; I think I started this in early December and now it's already the third of February so it's been a process. I'm sorry this took me so long to post but it's probably one of my longest works and because I also kept hitting parts of the story that I had no clue what to write. I do hope that you enjoyed it, though. I also have another Patrick Stump x Reader fic that you could find in my masterlist.

#patrick stump #patrick stump x reader #patrick stump imagines #fall out boy #fob #from under the cork tree #pete wentz #joe trohman #andy hurley #AU #dance dance fob #dance dance mv

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kitorin · 1 year ago

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journal.

in which, itoshi rin's midnight writing exposes what he's kept concealed from you.

contents. itoshi rin x reader, 2.878 k words, fluff, angst (in the past), itoshi backstory spoilers (mixed with a few headcanons), 1st person rin pov for a bit (journal entry), regular highschool au

a/n. is this my best? no. but is it the best i have for today? yes. happy birthday to rin <3 after assignments are done i'll definitely rewrite this (i gave up on proofreading)

10 / 09 / 2023 : SUNDAY, 12:04 am - 3:21 am

Solitude has never been a foreigner.

In fact, he's quite a familiar individual, an old companion that never seems to leave.

Even before Nii chan left for Spain, solitude was still there for me. During class I wouldn't utter a word to anyone else unless necessary, and contrariwise for said classmates. People still spoke to me; just not to the extent that they'd know what my favourite foods were, or what I liked to watch in my free time, not even bothering with it. I've never been invited to hang out with anyone after school, or been to someone else's house (not that I particularly cared, I was just sure that I was the only one).

But I was okay with it. I didn't want, or need anyone else when Nii chan bought me ice blocks, giving me the bigger piece as we'd watch the sun's warm hues bleed into the sky; the saccharine iciness contrasting how warm is was to be swallowed by sunlight together. Dad took us fishing a lot, he's always been well acquainted with the sea, taking us to locations well populated by bream; my favourite. On our way home we'd harvest kelp (Nii chan likes it in rice, salted) and take photos together on our yacht, admiring how the sun greets the world farewell, sinking into the aquamarine. Mum makes amazing food, I'm constantly astonished at how she manages to memorise every preference, from my love for ochazuke to being able to pour the perfect amount of tea; the rice never becomes too soggy (even I can't pour the exact amount I like). Solitude was close to me, but my family were closer.

There's a lot I could say about them, they've done more than remember what I love and ensuring I was happy; I'm thankful they've delivered the right for me to be comforted, to have a shoulder to cry on, to be able to freely ramble on about whatever fascinated me.

I've always been happy, even if I'm alone outside of the walls I call home. Because whether I laughed my heart out or sobbed to the point I couldn't form a coherent sentence, I'd always come home running to my family. Nothing can beat dinner; where we all relish mum's food, ask each other about our days' and offer solace or advice when necessary.

I miss that. Terribly, to the point my heart aches.

I knew that Nii chan's departure to Europe (Spain, to be exact) would change a lot. I'd have to score without his guidance, walk home alone and buy my own popsicles. Dinner time would have one less soul to laugh with, and home would have one less to embrace.

I just never expected it to be painful change. I never predicted that his return would result in losing us entirely. I didn't think his homecoming would cause my immortal resentment towards the snow, or how my eyes prickle a bit at the mere thought of an ice block. I'd say it was the worst thing that had ever happened to me, separation from him following it on the list of my worst experiences.

Solitude avoided me at home, but wasn't enough.

One time on the way home, I was overhearing the team's conversations (nothing particularly new really) and it was a discussion about the future. It was honestly surprising to find out only some of us intended to become soccer players; Nagi would rather stream or compete in professional gaming, Kurona wants to study marine biology in uni, and Yukimiya wants to give acting a go along with his modelling career. Even Isagi has a plan for if professional soccer isn't an option. He said he wanted to help others achieve their dreams if he fails to do so himself.

I remained silent as always, but had a lot more thoughts racing through my mind. Retreating to my room immediately that night, my first thought was to lie in bed, to neglect the clips I planned to analyse, to ignore muscle training for today and to slack off a bit. That's when I realized how sad the life I was living. I was sad because I was reminded of my reality.

I'm a mere myriad of distinguished achievements, though a hideous attempt of replicating genius Itoshi Sae. I'm a collection of formidable accomplishments, basking in the spotlight of glory and honour. The trophies and awards adorning my room prove it, standing tall with pride and flaunting my hard work.

That didn't mean anything. I had remained in a constant cycle of training, eating, and sleeping. My teammates were just as ambitious yet still worked hard on other things; Yukimiya enjoys modelling and Reo has a passion for economics, That must've been where I was lacking.

That's how I ended up writing again. It was an attempt to break out of this cyclical torture of constant training and sports.

I don't know how I remembered it, but I found my notebook from primary, all the stories messily scrawled yet legible. Scarlet adorned narratives birthed from child-like imagination, eulogising the prose, even though I almost flinched out of embarrassment.

Flipping through the pages, I had found the paragraph my teacher left me, insisting that I keep writing. Obviously, I never did. After getting into soccer I ignored everything school related, and would've found words on a page foolish anyways.

Many years later, I finally followed that advice.

The end result wasn't pretty. I paused a lot, struggled a lot, and almost gave up, a lot. It may have been hideous, but it was mine. A piece birthed from curiosity and memories from the past turned into another attempt. Another attempt morphed into extensive reading, I wanted to observe what was considered worthwhile or meaningless.

Writing rewove the early nights into late night reading, fully immersed in the author's thoughts translated into prose. Reading was the push to giving academics a go. Academics pulled me out of the endless cycle of soccer, there was more to life than training and diet regulation.

Books I can read. Words I can write. Exams I can study for and sports I can practice. Weights I can lift and competitions I can train for.

But to be loved, is so difficult.

It's not like an exam that you can study for and simply memorise the answers to. Or a match that has the security of a referee and reinforced rules. It's not something that can be guaranteed with a mentor.

People treat Isagi to his favourite whenever he has a bad day (he likes kintsuba). People advocate their favourite novels to Yukimiya and Chigiri, even going as far as memorising their preferences to curate their recommendations flawlessly. It must be nice, for someone to invest that sort of effort in you, even if it's simply remembering a hobby.

As my peers savoured the allure of love, estrangement and desolation constantly haunted me; a pest habituating the sleepless nights where I try to escape with a cup of coffee that's long gone cold.

It's lukewarm, praying for another's attention, care and love, to be hungry for one's time. I pathetically plead whoever manipulating my fate to provide me some sort of human connection. I shouldn't be so hopeful of others, yet I find myself dying of curiosity; what would it be like for someone to remember my birthday? Or tell me about the horror movie they adored?

I despise solitude's clinginess. But I hate how it makes me sob endlessly when no one watches.

I have myself. I have my thoughts which I've transcribed to oeuvre. I have the pile of books resting on my bedside table which sleep alongside with me. I have the trophies and awards I've won, I'll always appreciate my own talent and diligence, even if playing soccer brought me so much pain.

I think I'm somewhat pretty. I find my prominent eyelashes special to me, it's something unique to both me and Nii chan. My physique isn't too bad, either. I like the way my legs look, and my shoulders as I dry my hair.

I've always been proud of myself. I've always been enough and I always will be. Just not for others.

That's why I never expected my bond with solitude to be severed so easily. Especially because of y/n out of all people.

I still don't get how it happened. The oblivion to their presence became a peculiar first impression. An odd first meeting turned into abrupt yet regular greetings amidst hallways. Soon, I was sitting with them in every class, passing notes during tedious lessons and discussing our favourite media on the bus ride home.

Before I knew it, passionate rambles about books turned into watching movies together in my room. Whenever they greeted me their friendly wave was replaced with a tight hug, passing notes in class were accompanied with subtle kisses on the cheek.

Our relationship as friends was reimagined to lovers.

Something must've possessed me to blurt out the stupid crush I had on them, and I thank whatever drove me to do that. As awkward as I was it doesn't compare to the skip of my heartbeat when they accepted my feelings.

It's been almost a year since I met them, yet I still feel hot whenever they hold my hand, and flush red at every compliment they whisper. I still find myself stuttering sometimes whenever they're showing me a new outfit they've styled.

I love the way they smile, the creases of joy that adorn the outer corner of their eyes, and how they squint with glee and the sweet, melodious laughter that accompanies it; how breathless they sound whilst laughing. The expression they wear when deep in thought fascinates me, even if it's midway through an exam or them simply observing a video Bachira sent them. I adore their late night thoughts they text me at 3 am, the fatigue itching my eyes seem to evaporate when I notice their name on the notification. I treasure the notes we've scrawled on spare sheets of paper, they're still in between the pages of my books.

Even now, they're sleeping soundly in my bed, arms wrapped around the plush I bought them; I keep getting distracted by the sight of them so relaxed, chest rising up and down with each breath.

I would die for them. Because now I don't need to pretend to be invested on my phone to look less lonely. Now, I don't need to put my bag on the seat next to me to make it look like I sit alone by choice. I don't have to persuade the teacher to let me do group projects alone, or have to observe others with jealousy. Someone defends me from disparaging comments.

Because now, I'm not alone.

7:15 am

THE ENTRY COMES TO AN END, AND EMBARASSMENT DUSTS Rin's face a faint tint of pink. His eyes avoid contact with yours— as he waits for your input his latest piece.

"Well? What do you think?"

You're not sure where to start. You've always known about his strained relationship with his older brother, and how his friendship with his teammates wasn't the same in the beginning. But he never explained it in detail; you wouldn't've guessed that he had some sort of chionophobia, or even cried because he felt so secluded from others. The thought of him concealing his tears and pain from the rest of the world made your eyes prickle and sends your heart racing miserably.

"Doesn't matter—" He reaches for the notebook, closing it and tossing it onto his desk. "Forget it, you didn't see anything." He plops backwards again, head hitting the pillow and groaning as he covers his face with his forearm. "It was shit anyways, I'll rip it out and toss it later."

"It wasn't."

Rin stays silent.

You lie down, mimicking his current position and cup his cheeks with your hand. "You'll never be alone again—, I promise you that." Your voice falters ever so slightly, the thought of his pain makes you feel weak in the knees and sick to the stomach. "You're more than enough, you always have and always will be. You don't need anyone's validation to be beautiful, you never did."

Rin sighs, "I'm only like that because of you." Yet something seems to throb in his heart, the small but overpowering part of him that insists he requires another's approval to be important— someone finally proving that wrong.

"That's not true."

"Yes it is, our classmates still loathe me, so do people who barely see or speak to me." There was no lie in that; but it wasn't Rin's fault. "Yoichi and the others only spend time with me because of you."

"I was only the push for them to speak to you, you know they've always cared, they were just too nervous to speak to you. As competitive as he gets, Yoichi really admires you, to the point he gets so heated and ends up rambling about your skills." That's a secret that was supposed to remain in your private messages, but Yoichi doesn't need to know.

Satisfaction momentarily appears on Rin's face at the thought of his rival's great respect, though it doesn't last very long.

"He's my teammate so it's expected... everyone I speak to at school seems to have something against me, even our English teacher." The mistreatment at school is undeniable, it's not exactly bullying but there's no respect or human decency in how people behave towards him.

"Rin, love, you've done nothing wrong, hate isn't always rational. There will always be people who can't stand seeing others more successful, and that's not your fault."

"Really?" His eyes light up; despite having a sophisticated and cold demeanour all the time, he looks like a child again, hope dances in his wide eyes.

"Really." Your fingers take advantage of the opportunity and pinch his cheeks gently. "Don't listen to all those stupid rumours and assumptions, idiot. I'd fight anyone who tries to hurt you and win every time."

When your fingers let go he immediately kisses you, and it leaves you breathless; the way he pulls you in flexes his well toned biceps and his hand supports your head.

"Thank you." Rin whispers, pulling away a bit. "Thank you for appreciating me. Thank you for everything." It's a rare occurrence for him to sound so frail, same goes for the tremble of his bottom lip.

"Of course, I love you more than anything."

"I love you too." It's escorted by a peck on your nose, and a soft expression sculpted on his face.

Before Rin can throw a blanket over the two of you again, you interrupt.

"You shouldn't throw that entry away." You still haven't forgotten his initial intention with it. "I don't get why you think it's shit."

"It's rushed. And it's just me waffling on about my feelings and the past. There's no proofreading, and it's rushed. It's not even complete either."

"That's the whole point of writing, no? It's the expression of our words and thoughts." You reach towards his desk to pick up the notebook. "Not everything has to be written in one sitting, too."

Rin doesn't bother stopping you from looking through the notebook at this point. "It's still stupid. It's just that I had the urge and motivation to write in the dead of night."

"Well. I like it."

Rin's stoic expression crumbles, revealing the bashful side he keeps concealed from the world. "Then that's good enough for me." The red on his cheeks tell you that you've won the argument.

You turn back to the entry page, impressed with his barely legible yet pretty handwriting. "You should've slept instead."

"I don't get tired anyways." He's quickly betrayed by the yawn clawing out of his throat.

"Liar. Why would you stay up writing so late... your sleep is important you know?"

"Because you are love itself. I won't get a wink of sleep if it means I can think and write about you instead." Rin's pulls you in again, tossing his notebook elsewhere as he leans in. "I promise I'll finish that entry, no— I'll write a book about you one day."

"Writing this, writing that, sleep first dumbass." A smile tugs at your lips as you pull Rin back into the position you were cuddling in a few hours ago. Even though you were the one who slept a lot more, fatigue itched your eyes, and a yawn spilled out too.

In response, Rin tosses a blanket over the two of you, whispering good night as you begin to nod off a bit. He should rest too, he has training tomorrow and has to go to the gym as well.

The Itoshi Rin from before would've slept immediately. In fact, he wouldn't've stayed up in the first place, let alone date someone. But the Itoshi Rin now instead stares at you, admiring each and every feature of yours. You're his savior, the luminescent moon irradiating his world, guiding him away from the grasps of solitude and embracing him with love instead.

Tagging: @yuzurins (yumi you inspired this fic btw lol)

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #bllk #fluff #itoshi rin #itoshi rin fluff #itoshi rin x y/n #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi #rin #blue lock manga #blue lock rin itoshi #blue lock rin

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fermiomoriblog · 10 months ago

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The pitfalls of every Sunny ship

Diving straight into the hot coals with the first post. But it has been on my mind lately.

The setup in Omori is naturally quite mentally (and in some cases physically) taxing on every main cast character, and a shipper can very easily be overenthusiastic about getting a "happy ending" for their preferred pair, glossing over inconvenient problems and dynamics. I think that it really is rather contrary to the game's themes that this occurs, but it is also understandable that not everybody does a full psychoanalysis of every plot point in their story. I'll list some "common" problems I've personally encountered with people making content about sunburn, suntan and sunflower. I'm more familiar with the dynamics common on ao3 than elsewhere, so if you have any other observations or things to add, please feel free to do so.

# OMORI SPOILERS BELOW #

Sunburn

The "canon" ship. The fact that the ship is explicitly mentioned in game means that the ship is viewed as the "default", and it can lead to some lazy dynamics or lack of justification. You have to remember that no matter what headspace says (and headspace says a lot of things that aren't true), the first thing Sunny and Aubrey did after four years is beat the shit out of each other. Sunny knows nothing about the Hooligans, even though we do, and Aubrey thinks Sunny abandoned her (which is a feeling unlikely to abate after the truth). There needs to be basis for the ship as well - they aren't going to just pick up where they left off (presuming they had anything to leave off in the first place) right away. Which leads us to the first common problem:

Basing the relationship entirely on the past

This is the default reaction and requires the least writing creativity, so it is not surprising that it is common. Simply porting the HS dynamic or the swing scene to the future and copy-pasting is fun and cute and all, but it ignores the fact that both Sunny and Aubrey have changed massively. There's a lot of guilt that is going around, both with Sunny for obvious reasons and Aubrey for pushing Basil in the lake, and Aubrey has a bunch of new, closer friends whom depending on your interpretation are either theatre kids or delinquents. This is not really just going to get talked away on the swing set - they involve third parties.

I would venture to argue that this is actually a very problematic pitfall, despite it being generally not a very serious transgression in real life. Omori, as a game, is about moving on from the past. If you write a fic where the characters forget about bad things in the past but hang on like hell to the good things... that's Headspace. You've just put Sunny in a new Headspace.

Getting Basil out of the way

Even among sunburn/suntan shippers, it is pretty generally accepted that Basil was somewhat attached to Sunny even before the accident. So if you don't want to do sunflower, how do you deal with that?

You can write angst, where Aubrey and Basil end up fighting over Sunny. Weirdly, I've never seen this actually happen (probably because it's too heartbreaking). You can have Basil go to therapy, and get rid of an unhealthy attachment. You can also go the seriously angsty route of Basil hating Sunny for abandonment, Sunny hating Basil for his role in the incident, or a less intense version which just puts a barrier between the two. You can also have Sunny reject Basil. Or you can argue that the attachment was platonic, which is entirely fair.

What you cannot do is have Basil be romantically interested in Sunny, but "get out of the way" for Aubrey "so that Sunny can be happy". Or, well, you can do that, but you can't frame it as anything but serious angst from Basil's POV.

Unfortunately, many, many "pure fluff" Sunburn fics do this, because "pure fluff" fics don't want to untangle the whole thing as most methods involve some degree of emotional turnmoil. This is no ordinary infautation - Basil has waited for Sunny for four years. Nursing unrequited love like that is really, really painful. It is certainly not something that someone with Basil's character and history can do with a smile on their face. If you need any further convincing, I point you to Note to Self: Don't Be Gay in Faraway Town by witheredahlia.

A version of this which I think is a lesser sin (because it is at least framed with some nuance), but a sin regardless, is Aubrey getting annoyed at Basil for "stealing" Sunny's attention from her. This gets dangerously close to the reddit comments you see about "the friend group will be better off if Basil never joined".

Suntan

Despite sunburn being the "canon" and sunflower being the natural alternative, I actually think that this is the default. After all, Kel was the one to bring Sunny out, generally saving his life, and is his first friend, etc. Kel is also a clean slate character, with nothing anyone can particularly hold against them, and as a result suntan is the "healthiest", "least questionable" ship. This commits the customary mistake of believing Kel's parents when they say "eh, it's Kel, he'll be fine".

"Kel's fine"

No, he's not. He's spent the better part of four years trying to forget the happiest times of his childhood, and has been going around doing nothing but fixing and saving other people, putting others' needs far above his own, for the entirety of pre-canon and foreseeably for a good part of post canon as well. Suntan, especially with Sunny still in a vulnerable state post-canon, can very easily be written into Kel being Sunny's unpaid, untrained therapist, and his mood/health being Kel's only/majority source of validation. Kel's self-worth independent of his friends needs addressing and development, and without a lot of development, Sunny alone is not really equipped to provide that.

In all fairness, while I would be somewhat confident in saying that the majority of canon-compliant sunburn fics run into the problems above, suntan fics do usually handle it better. That might just be because there aren't that many suntan fics though.

Sunflower

It goes without saying that sunflower has the highest potential to be unhealthy. But precisely because of that fact, people writing sunflower are usually very careful to address it. Either the fic is written as a work exploring codependency/attachment/trauma/other general unhealthiness (which you can make your own judgement on whether it's a legitimate art form or problematic), or there is at minimum an attempt at pacing, therapy and general juggling of the various mental issues the game leaves Sunny and Basil with (for a shining example, see These Days Without You by Smitty1899, my go to answer for when anyone says "but sunflower toxic!!1!").

The issues that can make sunflower unhealthy and problematic are generally pretty obvious - shared crime, codependency and attachment, commitment and abandonment issues, and the whole "getting together before their friends forgive them" thing (which can still be done well, but from the POV of especially Hero can be kind of eh, and unlikely to be conducive to a healthy relationship given that it kind of depends on their friends' pending "approval".) As a result, there aren't a lot of works that don't address them in one manner or another. However, I do think there is one major pitfall that some fics fall into in the other direction:

Having everything in the relationship be dependent on someone else's approval.

In an attempt to make sunflower as healthy as possible, some authors make it so that Sunny and Basil effectively never make decisions on their own. There's always a third party present to psychoanalyse them, tell them what's fine and what's not, etc. and every step they make in their relationship is with the express blessing, support and help of the rest of their friends. The problem is, that's not healthy either.

I feel that the value of sunflower is greatest in the context of the themes of the game of moving on and forgiveness. Making it so that Sunny and Basil hang on to their guilt forever and robbing them of any "right" to decide for themselves what makes them happy is very much contrary to that - they're on crutches for the rest of their lives, and the point of the good ending is the hope that they won't need to be. It also is just not a good thing for any third party to intervene so extensively in a relationship.

Conclusion

Omori is emotionally deep, with many, many themes to explore. Ships in Omori have unique meanings and themes, which in a canon compliant context is quite hard to simply wipe away. Rushing into a ship with insufficient pacing and development, which works in "cute" fandoms, generally leaves lots of outstanding holes in Omori.

This post doesn't necessarily mean that I think less of any particular ship mentioned - to reiterate, every ship has unique meanings and themes which is interesting to explore and form a part of the message of the game. It is however true that some pitfalls in some ships are easier to fall in, and overlooked, than others, and the obvious problems get a lot more bashing than the non-obvious ones. (Yes, sunflower bias. Sue me.)

And of course, in a plotless or AU context, cute art is cute art.

#omori #omori sunny #omori basil #omori aubrey #omori kel #omori sunflower #omori sunburn #omori suntan #brainrot.txt #rant post

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its-all-papaya · 4 months ago

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wait i have to add: "I'll write that injury landoscar for you down the road as an apology" NO IT WAS PERFECT THANK YOU !!! but i won't say no to injury landoscar so if you want to write it 👀 (i would be happy!) that's an ask i'd like for the I wish you would write a fic where... ask game tbh!

maybe like. one of them hears that the other crashed or sees it happen and finishes the race on autopilot, frantically asking if the other is okay over the radio and not getting a straight answer (like ferrari: we are checking) and after the race not giving a SHIT, running directly to where he's told by someone the other is although maybe having a podium finish? or media duties?, ignoring everyone on the way there and then seeing they're alright and just. taking the biggest breath ever known. and being overwhelmed? and then just. kissing him in front of the medics? idk. but! it could also be soft, finding the other after all the media duties and after the other was cleared for visitors and they're sitting there under shitty hospital lighting, one of them cracking jokes about being not life-threateningly injured and the other just shaking because he could've LOST him and it all suddenly shifts and makes sense in his head and there's never been a world in which losing the other wouldn't break him. and then it's the most important thing in the world to be able to taste the breath in the other person's lungs and feel his heartbeat quicken and have PROOF that he's alive and warm and not dead. is this too much? probably. but i'm DYING to hear your thoughts on how YOU would write it PLEASE!!

Okay, yeah, Landoscar injury fic lfg, let's do this. Here's how I'd do it:

The thing about me is I always have to have An Angle. I can't write straight-up fluffy comfort, I've gotta make the characters THINK first. So this is kind of not the exact same as your description, but I think I'd write it from the POV of injured Oscar. Hear me out, hang on.

tell me what you wish I'd write

So Oscar gets hurts in a crash and he's sent to the hospital, obviously. The whole way out of the car and on the way, he's like... not panicking, but not feeling well at all. Nothing makes rational sense in an ambulance, everything feels high-stakes and scary and serious and the shock is still setting in, so he can't process that well. Oscar obviously isn't very open about how he's feeling, usually, either, so being noticeably affected by things is just more stress on top as he fights to keep the cool, calm demeanor people expect out of him.

See, generally, Oscar tries not to need too much from anybody. But he's hurt and a little scared and lonely and the lingering shock combined with whatever's in his IV drip is making his emotions stronger and closer and not anywhere near as manageable as normal. Kim is there, but Oscar wants Lando telling him jokes and giving him soft eyes and holding his hand and telling him it's going to be okay, because Lando always knows how to handle new situations Oscar hasn't been in yet. And Oscar's trying so so hard to be normal about it all, but he's actually Not Okay.

I wasn't around for Vegas '23 (ironic because I was accidentally in Vegas hours after the GP, but I didn't follow F1 yet, so) but I've read a lot of post-vegas fic and it's all cute and needy Lando, which is a great genre. But I think I'd set that as Oscar's mental backdrop for this. Because they weren't even them yet in Vegas, weren't like they are now, and even still Lando asked for Oscar in the hospital and had no problem reeling him in by the hand and taking comfort from him when he needed it. And they're much closer now! Lando definitely cares a lot about him! Oscar knows that! So why is he so nervous to just ask for him?

Oscar would spend a decent amount of time trying to figure out how to ask Kim to get Lando there: thinking up excuses for why he needs Lando for something specific, reasons it makes sense, or why it might benefit everyone, but when he finally gets up the nerve to just ask, Kim is like "?? yes? Lol. Obviously Lando is coming. He's been asking about you nonstop, drove both Will and his press officer up a wall asking for updates every five seconds. He's texted me 400 times in the last 20 minutes. Lando is for sure coming, you actually don't really get a say in that one. Silly goose."

Oscar is usually so unbothered, but as soon as Lando shows up, he knows it's going to be a struggle not to lose it, because like... Lando's in the door looking adorable and concerned and Oscar NEEDS Lando so much closer. Immediately. He needs Lando holding his hand and petting his hair and whispering to him even though they don't even really do those things normally.

And Lando's worried, so he gets to Oscar's bedside and is restless. Hand on the covers, eyebrows pulled together, trying to straighten things and fluff pillows and asking about Oscar's pain levels and where he's hurt and eventually he just goes "Fuck, Oscar, can I just- I need to hug you. Please. Is that okay?"

Lando's so gentle with it, trying not to hurt his boy, but Oscar like... cannot hold it together. And so he starts breathing a little funny in his effort not to cry or do anything to show how everything is hitting at once, how he wants Lando, but Lando of course notices that something is wrong. Probably assumes he's hurting Oscar, so he pulls back, but that's the opposite of what Oscar wants. So suddenly, horrifyingly, he's tearing up, and that makes Lando panic more because he's probably never seen Oscar cry. Didn't think that was a thing Oscar did. And Oscar's shaking his head, and his heart rate monitor does not sound normal, and Lando's like "...shit. Fuck. Do you need me to call the nurse?" and Oscar is like "no, just come back. please, lando."

Lando goes, obviously, sits on the side of Oscar's bed and picks up Oscar's hand in both of his own and starts rubbing his wrist a little and saying "hey, it's okay, buddy, I've got you, I'm right here. Deep breaths, you're gonna be okay, I'm not going anywhere."

It should feel patronizing, being talked to like that, but instead it takes the anxiety back down a few notches, outside the range of imminent panic. Oscar feels like a little child again, needing to be held after scraping his knee, but he does. Need to be held, that is. So he's fighting this internal battle between needing comfort and wanting to be good and normal about the situation, and his control is softened by his pain meds so he can't school his expressions as well as normal, and soon Lando’s asking “What is it? You need more pain meds? Kim? What do you need, Osc?”

SNIPPET TIME CONGRATS !

Oscar can’t look at Lando when he says it, but he finally manages to mumble “can you come lay with me?” at the ceiling. Lando doesn't spare him a moment to second-guess before he's kicking off his shoes and climbing up, arranging Oscar's limbs a little so they’ll both fit. His arm’s around Oscar’s shoulders in a blink, and everything’s a little less overwhelming when Oscar can turn his chin just a little and smell Lando’s body wash, can twitch his fingers and touch the soft hem of Lando’s sweatshirt. Reality gets a little more tangible again, and Oscar thinks it's funny, how he feels a fraction more himself when he's pressed to Lando's side.

The beep of the heart-rate monitor fades back into ambient noise as it settles towards normal. Or normal for them, Oscar supposes. In the middle of his contemplating, Lando starts tracing the vein on the soft side of Oscar's arm, wrist to the crook of his elbow. Two fingers, one on either side, raising goosebumps across the exposed skin. The disconnect the crash had rattled into Oscar's brain shifts a little under Lando's attention, gets a little floatier and a little less disorienting. He's getting sleepier, and it's probably the last of the IV bag dripping steadily through the back of his hand, but it's nicer to believe it's Lando, chasing the drugs up towards his heart with those same two fingers. Oscar gives up one more piece, a little more control, as he snuggles a little deeper into Lando's side. He's allowed to, he thinks. Here. Like this. Lando must agree, because he hums happily at the movement and hugs Oscar even closer. Through the fog in his brain, Oscar thinks he feels lips at his temple.

"Thank you," he mumbles into the collar of Lando's t-shirt.

"Of course," Lando says, and "thank you. It's nice. To lay like this. Was worried about you."

And then, after a long moment of silence, "It's okay to need things, Osc. From anybody, but especially from me. There's not a lot I wouldn't do for you. Okay? You can always ask."

Oscar frowns, because "I don't need anything, it's not like that." His forehead wrinkles as he bats the exhaustion back. The excuse is sitting at the tip of his tongue, but he can't quite feel it out.

Lando gives him a second, then takes over again. It's a reversal, Lando finding Oscar's words for him, thumbing worries away like sweaty hair from his temple.

"It's also okay to want things, Oscar."

Oscuh.

Oscar, feeling a little braver or maybe just a little less afraid, palms his way across Lando's stomach, curls his hand around Lando's side, taps his fingers against the warm space below Lando's ribs.

"What do you want, baby?" Lando asks into the skin above his ear.

Oscar lifts his head a little, blinks through his lashes up at his teammate. He's hallucinating, or the concussion is worse than they thought, because there's no way that those words are coming out of Lando's mouth in that tone with nobody to hear them but Oscar himself. Lando's fingers drag a bit firmer against his wrist, the catch of nails sending little shivers through Oscar's limbs.

Oscar remembers Las Vegas, remembers how the same fingernails had left little white half-moons in the back of his hand, how they had taken hours to fade, and he gets it, finally.

Lando's fingers come to rest in the middle of Oscar's wrist, right over his pulse.

"Stay? Please?" Oscar says. The lips on his temple are firmer this time, impossible to explain away. "Until I can go," he adds. Lando's still pressing little kisses down the side of his face, so Oscar sums up the rest of his courage and finishes with, "And tonight." He doesn't say forever, but it's only a breath away.

And then Lando takes him home and takes care of him and it's soft and cute and Lando falls asleep listening to Oscar's heartbeat and kisses him awake in the morning and makes sure he takes his pills and he heals up and they become boyfriends the end <3

Thank you for the ask !! And for the compliments in general !! Hope this was nice for you even though it was STILL not desperate. I'm too Soft (TM).

#answered #drabble #landoscar #landoscar fic #landoscar fanfic #lando x oscar #my landoscar #i know only soft comforting boys and nothing else #soph writes #i wrote this on my phone in the car it is Not Up to Par but HAVE IT ANYWAY

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