#i've been thinking about this h/c a lot recently

[flashhwing]

sometimes you say something on this site and then someone Runs Away With It and adds stuff that's technically agreeing with you but to a severe degree that even you don't go to and it's like Woah Okay. Back Off A Little There

[magentagalaxies]

going to a comedy open mic tomorrow mostly to watch my friends (it's at a cool venue that my improv troupe performs at once a month and a few improv troupe friends are doing standup there) but when these friends were asking if i'd be interested in coming they were like "btw there's usually a ton of open spots on show days if YOU want to do something... and they're not strict about it only being standup either, people have done character pieces and sketches etc like they embrace the weirdness... and they're not strict about time limits you could probably do anything between three and eight minutes... sometimes if there's not enough people signed up they'll even let you go twice..." and i'm like god damn it i thought i was gonna take a break from aubrey but this setup is like tailor made for an aubrey appearance lmao

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

Hiii I saw ur recent post and idk if this is any help but what about an Ethan Landry x Carpenter! Reader smut? So basically reader is Sam and Tara’s little sister, she’s like one year younger anyways it can be something where they all go to the same college and are in the same friend group. And the reader has always had a crush on Ethan since she got accepted in Blackmore with her sisters and her and Ethan are really close like best friends so she doesn’t wanna ruin the friendship, but at the frat party they all decided to play spin the bottle and reader gets ethan and yk they make out but then after the party Ethan starts avoiding reader cuz he’s always liked her to he js got in his feelings and thought it was awkward. But after like reader cries to Tara and Sam and stuff Tara knocks sense into Ethan and they makeup and confess and well yk what they do next lmao but this js popped in my head and ur my favorite Ethan writer so pleaseeee consider writing this tyyy🩷

Hiiiii💕 This is the first thing I've fully written in a while, so I hope you like it!!

All I Want - Ethan Landry x Fem!Carpenter!Reader

This contains SMUT - Minors DNI

Summary: See ask box lmao. I probably ruined the suspense but that's okay💀

Contains: Underage drinking, Oral - f receiving, p in v (My brain is done for the day so if I'm missing anything, let me know.)

W/C: 7.7k

A/N: I'm still a little rusty, but this was the first thing I've written in forever that wasn't absolute fucking clown shoes lmaoooo. Also, if you see any spelling/grammatical errors, no you didn't 💀

When you moved in with your sisters right before you started your freshman year at Blackmore, the last person everyone expected you to get the closest to was Ethan. He wasn’t the most social, but that’s what drew you to him. He was really quiet the night you first met him, which only made you want to talk to him even more. You talked for hours, learning so much about each other as he came out of his shell, and you’ve been inseparable ever since.

Sam was just as protective over you as she was with Tara, and once she noticed you and Ethan were spending a lot of time together, she cornered him in the kitchen one night when he came out of your room to get a drink during one of your many study sessions.

“What’s going on with you and my sister?” Sam questioned, as Ethan’s cheeks turned bright red. He felt so awkward and uncomfortable as she stared him down. “Are you going to answer me?”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, as he leaned against the kitchen counter. “Nothing’s going on. We’re just friends.”

“There better not be anything going on,” Sam warned, “And I know you stayed over in her room the other night. I’m not okay with that.”

“Nothing happened,” he said, as he glanced at the floor. “It won’t happen again.”

“I swear, Ethan, if you try anything with her,” Sam got out, before Ethan got really frustrated with the situation.

“I can’t be her friend without wanting to get in her pants?” Ethan questioned, as Sam was taken aback at his tone change. “You’ve known me for a year now, and I know you worry about her just like Tara, but do you really think I’d do that?”

“I’m sorry,” Sam said, as she relaxed a little, realizing she was in the wrong for questioning him like that. “She’s been hurt before, and I don’t want her to go through that again.”

“I understand where you’re coming from, but I just want to be her friend. Guys and girls are allowed to be friends without there being something else going on,” Ethan said, as she sighed and nodded. “Do you care if I study in her room with her? Or would you rather have us in the living room so you can keep an eye on us?”

“You can study in her room,” she said, as Ethan walked away from her with his drink in his hand.

Ethan wasn’t lying when he said that nothing had happened between the two of you, but he was lying when he said he just wanted to be your friend. The only person he’d mentioned his crush on you to was Chad, who immediately shut it down, knowing that Sam would have no problem killing Ethan and disposing of his body if he ever did try anything with you. Chad knew Ethan was a good guy, but with how skeptical Sam was over his relationship with Tara at first, even though they’d been friends since childhood, she knew it would take a lot longer for her to even begin to warm up to the idea of you and Ethan being together. If that wasn’t enough of a reason to keep him from saying anything to you about the way he felt, the possibility of him making things awkward and fucking up the friendship if you didn’t feel the same definitely was.

When Ethan walked back in your room, he saw you laying on your stomach, stretched out across your bed as you looked at your phone.

“I thought you got lost,” you said, looking at him before you glanced back at your screen. “What took you so long?”

“I was busy getting grilled,” he said, as he was about to sit down beside you, before he sat in your desk chair instead, just in case Sam walked in.

“Getting grilled?” you asked, as you adjusted yourself so you were sitting up. “Why?”

“Wellll,” he said, shifting awkwardly in the chair. “Pretty sure your sister thinks I’m close to you because I’m trying to sleep with you.”

“Oh my god,” you said, as you hopped off the side of your bed, ready to confront her.

“Wait,” he said, as you hesitantly came to a stop and looked at him. “I kind of got pissed and raised my voice a little. That was terrifying enough. I don’t need you snapping on her and I end up on her shit list because she scares me.”

You laughed at Ethan’s words and the nervous look on his face before you went back over to your bed and sat down.

“Why did she have to make things weird?” you questioned, as you laid back and looked at the ceiling.

“It’s okay. I told her I’m only interested in being your friend,” he said, his words like a punch to your stomach as you felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. You’d always had a little crush on him, but now you felt stupid for feeling things he didn’t. “Oh, and I don’t think I should stay over ever again. She mentioned that, too.”

“We literally fell asleep with the lights on and our laptops in front of us,” you sighed, “The only reason she’s being weird is because she saw a box of condoms when I was unpacking after I got here.”

“Oh,” Ethan mumbled, his leg bouncing as he sat in silence for a few seconds. “Should I expect a boyfriend to come visit and want to kick my ass?”

You giggled at his words as you sat back up, “No, I just didn’t want to leave them at home and have my mom go through my stuff while I’m gone. I didn’t want to have that awkward conversation with her, but I ended up having it with Sam.”

Ethan cracked a smile as you cringed the more you thought about it. “Well, at least she knows you’re being safe.”

After that day, you decided to hang out with Ethan at his apartment instead. It was a lot less awkward than dealing with Sam wanting to play the role of a helicopter parent, and because Tara was always there, you got to hang out with her more than you did before.

“What do you guys want to do tonight?” Chad asked, as the four of you sat around the living room. “There’s a party at Kappa Sigma.”

“Oooh, my first college party,” you said, getting a little excited as Tara stared you down. “What?”

“I don’t think you should go to a frat party,” she said, before Ethan spoke up.

“I’ll make sure she’s safe.”

“College guys can be really convincing,” she said, ignoring Ethan’s comment. “I just don’t want some asshole to take advantage of you.”

“I’ll just stay with Ethan all night,” you said, before you turned your head to look at him. “If that’s okay.”

“Of course,” he said, as Tara sighed in frustration.

“I don’t think you should go,” she said, as you started to get really annoyed.

“I remember you calling me to vent when Sam was doing this same shit to you, and now you’re doing it to me,” you said, as you stood up from your spot on the couch. “I just want to have fun.”

Tara knew you were right, because she vividly remembered how pissed she got when Sam was a little extra-overbearing and wouldn’t let her do anything.

“Fine,” Tara said, taking a deep breath before she continued, “But you stay with Ethan all night, okay? And if you tell Sam, she’ll lose her shit on both of us.”

“Okay, wanna go home with me and get ready before Sam gets home from work, then?” you asked, as Tara nodded and kissed Chad before she stood up.

“We’ll met you guys there in an hour.”

You and Tara hurried to get back to the apartment and get ready before Sam got home, because even though she’d loosened the reigns on Tara, she hadn’t done the same for you. Once you were ready to go and you and Tara were about to leave, you heard the door unlock.

“Fuck,” you sighed, a defeated look on your face as Tara grabbed your hand and opened the linen closet door, before she pushed you inside. “What the fuck?”

“Shhh,” she said, as she closed the door.

You heard Sam greet Tara when she walked in, before she asked her what her plans were for the night. When she mentioned the party, she said it wasn’t set in stone that she was going, just that her and Chad had been talking about it. You rolled your eyes when Sam said you better come back home if they did go, because she didn’t want you left alone with Ethan. It was taking everything in you to not pop out of the closet and ask her what her problem was, but you decided to stay silent and listen instead.

“You know Ethan’s not a bad guy, right?” Tara questioned, “He’s not some creep.”

“I know he’s not,” Sam sighed, “I think she likes him, but after she got her heart broken last year, I don’t want her to go through that again.”

“If she does, she hasn’t said anything to me, and she tells me everything,” Tara said, as you heard the sound of Sam’s keys getting sat on the kitchen counter.

“That’s true,” Sam said, “I’m going to go shower. If you do go to that party, be safe.”

“I will,” Tara said, as you heard footsteps getting closer to the closet.

You jumped when the door was flung open, a nervous expression on your face until you realized it was Tara.

“Let’s get out of here,” she said, as you giggled and made your way to the front door.

As you and Tara walked the few blocks to get to the frat house, weaving around the people that were on the sidewalk, she got a little curious as she thought about the conversation she had with Sam.

“Do you like Ethan?” she asked, once you stopped at a crosswalk.

“Of course I like him. He’s my best friend,” you said, as the two of you rushed across the street.

“You know what I mean,” she said, as you sighed.

“Not like that,” you lied, “I’m not interested in having a relationship right now.”

“That’s too bad,” she said, “Because someone told me that he likes you.”

“Really?” you asked, as Tara came to a stop once she noticed the excitement in your voice. “I mean…who told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, a smirk playing on her lips as your cheeks began to heat up. “You sure you aren’t interested in him?”

“I’m not interested in anyone right now.”

When you walked into the party, you were a little nervous when you saw the sea of people. Tara asked if you wanted to get a drink, and on the way to the kitchen, you bumped into Mindy and Anika.

“Hey!” Anika said, hugging you once she saw you, before she moved over to Tara. You noticed Mindy behind her, her eyebrow cocked as she stared at you.

“Something tells me Sam has no idea you’re here,” she said, as she took a quick sip of her drink. “I didn’t believe Ethan when he said you were coming.”

The mention of his name had the butterflies in your tummy going crazy. You thought about what Tara said, you were sure that Chad was the one that told her Ethan liked you, and he never lied. Mindy noticed you glancing around the party for him before she spoke up.

“He’s in the living room,” she said, the knowing look on her face making you roll your eyes.

“I need a drink. If he’s my babysitter tonight, I want to give him a reason to keep his eye on me,” you said, before you heard Anika mumble, “Yeah, like he needs a reason.”

Once you got your drink, you and Tara found Chad and Ethan leaning against the wall, talking about a new movie they wanted to see. Ethan smiled when he saw you, giving Chad a look before he whisked your sister away, leaving you and Ethan alone.

“Hey,” he said, as he snatched your drink out of your hand. “Sam would kill me if I let you drink.”

“Ethannnn,” you whined, as you tried to take it from him, but he held it out of your reach. “Can I please have my drink?”

“Only if you promise not to drink too much. I’d be worried about you all night after you go home,” he said, as he hesitantly lowered the cup so you could grab it.

“I promise,” you said, a soft smile playing on your lips as you took a sip of it. “So…what do you want to do?”

“Well, I can’t dance,” he said, as he looked at all the people grinding on each other in the middle of the living room floor. “You might not have that much fun with me.”

“I always have fun with you,” you said, your tone flirty as Ethan smirked at you. “We could always go somewhere and talk.”

“Okay,” he said, as he pushed off the wall. He grabbed your hand as he weaved between the crowd and through the house. You eventually ended up in a random bedroom, the sounds of the music thumping very faint as you took a seat on the bed.

You were nervous as you sat with Ethan, because you were trying to find a way to bring up what you were told. You liked Ethan and you loved hanging out with him, and the more you thought about it, you thought about how perfect you could be together.

“So, someone mentioned something to me today,” you said, as Ethan curiously looked at you.

“Oh? What was it?” he asked, and just as you were about to respond, the bedroom door was flung open.

You and Ethan both had wide eyes as a few frat guys and a handful of girls walked into the room, their expressions matching yours.

“If you guys are going to fuck, you need to go to another room,” one of the guys said, as you glanced over at Ethan and giggled once you saw the pink tint to his cheeks.

“We weren’t. We were just talking,” you said, as you stood up.

“Wait, are you guys together?” the same guy asked, as he looked you up and down.

“No,” you said, as he smiled at you.

“You guys want to play a game with us?”

You looked over at Ethan, silently asking him if that’s something he’d want to do before he shrugged.

“Sure,” you said, as you took another sip of your drink.

“Okay, come sit on the floor,” he said, as Ethan stood up and walked over.

You were a little confused once you noticed everyone was sitting in a circle. You and Ethan sat beside each other, waiting to hear what the plan was.

“Is this some kind of weird satanic ritual,” you joked, before the guy chuckled and grabbed an empty vodka bottle off the dresser.

“We’re going to play Spin the Bottle,” he said, as he sat down and put the bottle in the middle of the circle.

Ethan immediately got uncomfortable as he sat beside you, because he felt sick at the idea of watching someone else kiss you. You felt the same way when you noticed one of the girls looking at him, and even contemplated getting up and leaving the room.

“Is that really what we’re playing?” you asked, as a different guy spoke up.

“You don’t want to kiss a stranger?” he asked, “Because I was hoping when it was my turn, it’d land on you.”

“We’re just having fun,” the girl that was checking out Ethan said. “There are some rules, though. If a guy spins it and it lands on another guy, they get to spin again. If a girl lands on another girl, they can kiss if they want or spin again. But these losers like the girl-on-girl action a little too much.”

“Oh,” you said, “I don’t know if I want to play this.”

“Come on,” a different guy said, as you glanced over to Ethan. “You’re a freshman, right? Have a little fun.”

If you didn’t deal with enough peer pressure in high school, you realized it was just as bad in college. You took a huge gulp of your drink as the first person spun the bottle.

As the game progressed, you were a little surprised that no one had gotten you or Ethan. You were getting more and more buzzed as you sipped your drink, and once it was your turn to spin the bottle, Ethan got really nervous. He looked around the room at all the guys that were hoping it’d land on them, and he was a little irritated they were eyeing you like that.

As the glass bottle moved against the hardwood floor, you were relieved when it landed on Ethan. Relieved until you realized you actually had to kiss him. One of the guys groaned in the background as you looked at Ethan, his eyes huge as you leaned in.

“You’ve been drinking. You don’t have to kiss me if you don’t want to,” he said, soft enough for only you to hear him.

“I want to,” you whispered, before your lips touched his.

You couldn’t put into words what it felt like to kiss Ethan, but after he kissed you back and your mouths were moving together, you didn’t want it to stop. You weren’t sure if the feeling of your head spinning was from the alcohol or kissing the guy you’ve been crushing on since you first got to New York.

Just as Ethan’s tongue brushed against your bottom lip to deepen the kiss, the bedroom door flung open. You pulled away to see your sister and Chad’s panicked faces, the fear on Tara’s face turning to annoyance as she walked over and grabbed your hand to pull you up. You glanced around to see everyone staring at you, the awkwardness of the moment setting in before she yanked you out of the room, with Ethan following closely behind you.

“I asked you to keep an eye on her and you make out with her?” Tara asked Ethan as she shut the door. “What were you guys doing with those losers?”

“Wait, they were making out?” Mindy questioned, making her presence known as she and Anika leaned against the wall. “That’s the most action he’s gotten since he’s been here.”

If kissing you didn’t already have Ethan’s mind racing, the tension between him and Tara and the embarrassment of Mindy basically calling him an inexperienced loser was a little too much for him. He walked away and went straight to the door, leaving you to stand there, very confused. You thought Ethan was just as into it as you were, but once he walked away without saying anything, you wondered if Tara was wrong when she said he liked you.

Later that night when you got home, the party you secretly went to wasn’t a secret anymore when Sam walked into the bathroom to see you leaning over the toilet as Tara rubbed your back. She was livid, because she couldn’t forget the creep that tried to take advantage of Tara at the first college party she went to.

The next day, Sam wanted to talk to you about it, but you had no interest in having that conversation. The only thing you could think about was kissing Ethan, and how every text you’d sent to him got no response. The hangover made you feel awful, but what made you feel worse was the realization that you fucked up your friendship with the guy you’ve been spending time with almost every single day.

After a few days of you only leaving your room to go to class, Sam and Tara both came in your room to talk to you. Their faces showed how concerned they were while yours was blank, because as sad as you were, you’d already cried more tears than you thought was possible.

“What’s going on with you?” Sam asked, as you just sat there. “Can you talk to us? We’re worried about you.”

“I don’t want to talk,” you said, your voice showing how tired you were as Tara sighed.

“Did something happen at that party? Because Ethan’s acting the same way you are right now,” she said, the mention of his name making your eyes water. “What did he do?”

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” you said, your words cracking as you spoke. “I think you were wrong about him liking me.”

“This is what I was worried about,” Sam said, as she took a seat on your bed. Her words pissed you off, because her cornering Ethan to question him and talking to Tara about it instead of just coming to you had been bothering you for days. “I’ll kill him.”

“No, you won’t,” you snapped, “Maybe if you weren’t so fucking overbearing, he’d still be talking to me.”

“You’re blaming this on me?” Sam asked, the shocked expression on her face making you angrier.

“Okay, let’s calm down,” Tara said, trying to mediate the situation before it got worse. “So, you do like him?”

“Yes, I fucking like him,” you said, the tears streaming down your cheeks as she pulled you into a hug. “I don’t know what I did wrong.”

You talked to Sam and Tara for a while before you cried to the point of having a headache. Once you said you were going to take a nap, Tara left the apartment to go to Chad and Ethan’s.

“Hey, babe,” Chad said, the smile on his face as he opened the door for her dropping when he realized she was mad. “What’s up?”

“Where’s Ethan?” she questioned, as Chad stepped to the side for her to walk in.

“He’s in his room.”

She stormed down the hallway and gave his door a few loud knocks before she walked in, glaring at Ethan once she saw him in front of his computer playing games.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she snapped, as Ethan’s face showed how nervous he was. “My sister just cried on my shoulder for an hour because of you!”

“She was crying?” Ethan asked, the guilt weighing heavy on him as her nostrils flared. “I didn’t mean to upset her.”

“Then why did you?!” Tara questioned, as Ethan shifted uncomfortably in his desk chair. “I thought you liked her!”

“I do!” Ethan yelled back, before he took a deep breath and ran a hand through his curls. “I just needed some space to think. You know how bad I feel about making out with her like that when she’d been drinking? And Mindy saying that’s the most action I’ve gotten all year? I should’ve gotten her out of that stupid room that night.”

“Ethan,” Tara sighed, as she took a seat on his bed. “She really likes you; she wouldn’t be as upset as she’s been for the last few days if she didn’t.”

“She doesn’t think I’m just some creepy loser virgin?” he asked, as Tara shook her head. “Should I call her?”

“She’s asleep right now, but I think you need to talk to her in person,” she said, as Ethan stood up. “If you hurt her again, Ethan, Sam will be the least of your worries.”

Tara stayed at the apartment with Chad while Ethan walked to your apartment. He hated that you were so upset, and he was just hoping that him ghosting you for a few days wouldn’t be enough for you to not want to give him a chance to explain himself.

When he got there and knocked on the door, he was nervous about who was going to answer, but he had to make things right. Sam opened the door, but she didn’t have her usual cold expression painted on her face, a soft smile playing on her lips as she saw how frantic Ethan looked.

“She’s still sleeping,” Sam said, as she stepped to the side. “But I need to talk to you about something before you talk to her.”

“If you’re going to yell at me, I promise Tara laid into me pretty hard just now,” he said, as Sam smiled and took a seat at the kitchen table.

“I’ve taught her well,” she said, before she continued, “I’m sorry that I was a bitch a few weeks ago. I just worry about her, you know?” Ethan nodded in understanding, as Sam sighed. “She really cares about you, and I think you’d be great for her. I’m still mad that you upset her, but if you want to be with her, I’m okay with it. I won’t give you shit, I promise.”

“Seriously?” Ethan asked, smiling to himself as he heard your bedroom door creak open.

He snapped his head in the direction of the hallway, and once he saw how sad you looked, he started to tear up himself.

“I need to go to work,” Sam said, as she stood up from the table. “I’ll let you two talk.”

You stood at the hallway entrance as Ethan sat at the table, the two of you not looking away from each other. It wasn’t until Ethan wiped a stray tear off his cheek that you finally walked over to him.

“Hey,” you said softly, as he stood up from his chair.

“Hey,” he said, as he grabbed your hands and pulled you towards him, your head resting against his chest as he held you. “I missed you so fucking much.”

“I missed you, too,” you mumbled against him, before you pulled away. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable the other night.”

“You didn’t,” he said, as his hand cupped your cheek.

You smiled for the first time in days as he leaned down and placed his plus lips against yours. You felt that same head spinning feeling you’d felt before, but as the kiss was getting more heated, he pulled away.

“Can we talk?” he asked, as you nodded and laced your fingers with his, before you led him to your room.

“If I didn’t make you uncomfortable the other night, why’d you stop talking to me?” you asked, as you got comfortable on your bed and Ethan sat across from you.

“I kissed you when I’ve liked you for months and never thought anything would come from it, your sister yelled at me after she saw it, then Mindy had her little comment,” he said, taking a deep breath as he looked at you. “I feel bad that I was letting that kiss go that far when you were drinking, and I know you’d probably want a guy that has experience in the bedroom. Maybe I’m just overthinking it.”

“I don’t care about stuff like that, Ethan,” you said, as you reached over and grabbed his hands that were rubbing against his thighs. “And I kissed you because I wanted to. Me being buzzed just took the edge off so I wasn’t as nervous.”

“How long have you wanted to kiss me?” he teased, making you laugh a little.

“A while,” you said, as he smirked at you. “I didn’t know you liked me until right before that party.”

“Wait, how’d you find out?” Ethan questioned, as you looked down at his fingers playing with yours.

“Tara said someone told her; I think it was Chad,” you said, as Ethan rolled his eyes.

“I’m annoyed that he told my secret, but I’m happy he did,” he said, as you leaned closer towards him.

“Me, too.”

When Ethan closed the gap between the two of you and your lips moved with his, things felt different, but not in a bad way. You knew you both wanted to be with each other, and you could feel how happy he was to be kissing you.

As the kiss escalated to him on top of you, his tongue moving with yours as your hands tangled in his hair, his hips started to involuntarily squirm. He was about to pull away because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, but once your legs wrapped around him and your own hips began to move, he groaned into the kiss.

When he pulled away to catch his breath, you started to kiss his neck all over, searching for his sweet spot. He gasped the second you found it, his eyes fluttering shut as he enjoyed how good it felt.

“I’m so fucking hard right now,” he whispered, a whimper building in your throat once you felt it rub against your pussy over the leggings you were wearing. “Does that feel good?” he asked, noticing the sounds you were making as he grinded himself against you.

“Yes,” you moaned as you pulled away.

You both just looked at each other, waiting for someone to make the next move. You didn’t want Ethan to feel like it was something he had to do, while he was worried that he was pressuring you. He was about to lean down to kiss you again, but you stopped him before he could.

“No pressure, but if you want this to go further, I’m okay with it,” you said, as he smiled at you.

“I want to,” he said, before he kissed you again.

He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but once you gasped into the kiss as his hand rubbed your exposed side from your shirt lifting a little, he inched it further up until it landed on one of your breasts, and he felt like he could cum in his pants from the feeling once he realized you weren’t wearing a bra. You moaned into the kiss as he squeezed, his hips rutting against you to give you both a little friction.

“Okay,” you said once you pushed him away a little to catch your breath. “I’m going to go crazy.”

“Why?” he asked, smirking at you as you sighed.

“We need to lose some clothes,” you mumbled, as you loosened the grip your legs had around his waist.

You reached over and grabbed the hem of his shirt and lifted it, your bottom lip going in between your teeth as you checked out his toned stomach. After his shirt was over his head, he reached over and did the same to you. The second your chest was exposed to him, he pushed you back on the bed and immediately took one of your nipples in his mouth.

You moaned at the feeling as he licked, sucked, and swirled his tongue against you, your pussy throbbing as his mouth moved. As he went to the other side, you felt his hand on your thigh, slowly inching up it.

“You can touch me,” you said, your tone sounding like you were trying to convince him. He sighed against you before his hand was in between your legs, rubbing your pussy over the soft material of your leggings.

He pulled his hand away from you as he kissed down your body, the loss of contact making you want to whine, but you held it in. You giggled as you felt his curls tickling you, but once he made it to your leggings and hooked his fingers in them to pull them down, your breathing got a lot heavier.

“You’re sure this is okay?” he asked, as he lifted his head and his eyes connected with yours.

“More than okay,” you said, as he smiled and slid them down your legs.

When Ethan first met you, he never expected to experience anything like this with you. He might’ve let his mind wander there every now and then, because there were a few instances where you’d accidentally made him hard, but this was already better than anything he could’ve ever imagined.

His eyes stayed on your face as he rubbed you over your panties, a groan slipping past his lips once he felt how wet they were. Your eyes were pleading with him, and even though his nerves were kicking in again from the lack of experience, he knew he didn’t have to be nervous to do this with you.

He moved those off your hips and down your legs before he tossed them on the floor, but just as he was leaning down to get settled between your legs, he stopped to look at you.

“If something doesn’t feel good, tell me. Okay?” he asked, as you quickly nodded your head. “Or if you need me to do something different, let me know.”

“I will,” you said, as he smiled at you.

Once his head was in between your legs, he began to slowly lick your clit with the tip of his tongue. One of your hands went to his hair, tangling in the soft brown locks as you let out the softest moans. He knew the sound meant that he wasn’t doing a horrible job, so he really started to get into it. He noticed when he used more pressure, your moans got louder, and you were struggling to keep your hips still.

“Fuck, that feels so good,” you said, your breathing getting heavier as the grip on his hair got a little tighter. “You want to use your fingers, too?”

“How many should I use?” he asked after he pulled away to look at you.

“Start with one,” you said, as he nodded and looked down to see what he was doing.

You were so wet, his long middle finger sliding into you with ease. He slid it in and out of you as he looked back to your face to make sure it felt good.

“Okay…do this,” you said, demonstrating how he needed to move his finger, “There’s this spot that feels really,” you got out, but before you could finish getting your sentence out, he found it. “Fuck, right there. Keep hitting that.”

He did as you said before he leaned back down and gave your clit the attention it needed with his tongue, your moans getting whinier as your legs were tingling from the pleasure you were feeling. He took your clit in his mouth to roll over it with his tongue, and as you shakily praised him, telling him how good of a job he was doing, his cock was throbbing. You felt amazing around that single finger, the thoughts of how it would feel for him to be inside of you only making him even more hard.

“Use-fuck,” you got out, your thoughts getting cloudy as you tried to tell him what you needed. “Two fingers.”

He did as you asked, his ring finger sliding into your pussy. He kept hitting that spongy spot inside of you, and as his tongue moved against you, you felt that special feeling building deep in the pit of your stomach.

“Don’t stop,” you begged, your words making Ethan chuckle because there was no way in hell he was going to.

He softly sucked on your clit, and once he did, your whines got louder and closer together, your toes curling against the sheets as he worked you towards your orgasm.

“Fuck,” you whimpered, as your hips lifted off the bed, your eyebrows furrowing as you felt the white-hot feeling spread across your body.

Your pussy kept tightening around Ethan’s fingers, and he didn’t know when he was supposed to stop, so he didn’t. It only made your orgasm more intense as you tugged on his hair, the feeling making him moan against you.

Once your walls stopped fluttering and your body relaxed, he hesitantly pulled away and slid his fingers out, already missing all the sounds he was pulling from you moments before.

“Was that okay?” he asked, as you hazily looked at him.

“You’ve never done that before?” you asked, your disbelieving stare making him laugh as he shook his head.

“Never.”

“I think you’re lying because there’s no way you just gave me the best orgasm I’ve ever had your first time doing that,” you said, a huge smile appearing on his face at your words.

“The best?” he asked, “I thought I was going to be awful at it.”

“You definitely aren’t,” you said, as you sat up to face him. “What do you want to do next?”

“You said you have condoms, right?” he asked, remembering the conversation he had with you a few weeks before.

“Yeah,” you said, as you slid off the side of the bed. You stood there for a second to get your bearings, because your legs still felt like Jell-O.

You walked over to your dresser and looked through the second drawer, searching for the box that you hid with your socks. You heard Ethan rustling around behind you, the sound of the metal on his belt clanking against the floor letting you know that he was taking his jeans off.

Just as you’d found the box, you felt his arms wrap around you. You smiled as you leaned back against him, enjoying his warmth. That’s when you felt how hard he was, and even though you hadn’t actually seen what he was hiding in the confines of his boxers, you could already tell it certainly wasn’t small.

“Fuck,” he whispered, as you ass brushed against him. “I can’t wait to do this with you.”

“Then let’s do it,” you said, the excitement in your voice making him smile as he pulled away from you. “You wanna be on top?”

“Uh…is that okay?” he asked, as you nodded and laid back on your bed and got comfortable. He slid his boxers down his legs, your eyes growing wide as you looked at him. You could tell he was a little self-conscious when his cheeks turned pink and his hand moved to cover himself.

“Why are you doing that?” you questioned, “You just saw my pussy up close.”

“You were staring at it,” he said, his voice a little shy as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, because it’s about to be inside of me,” you said, as you sat up and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards you. You grabbed a condom out of the box and handed it to him as he crawled up on the bed. “Just…be gentle.”

“Okay,” he said, as he opened it and slowly rolled it on.

The expression on his face said he was fully confident in what he was about to do, but his shaky hands said otherwise. You knew it probably wasn’t going to last long, and that was okay. You didn’t want him to feel bad for it, so you were trying to figure out the best way to bring it up.

“Hey,” you said, as his nervous eyes met yours. “I want you to enjoy this, okay? Don’t think you have to last forever. Don’t worry about making me cum again.”

“But…isn’t that bad if I don’t make you cum?” he asked, his nerves fading a little as you smiled at him.

“You just did. I already told you that’s the best orgasm I’ve ever had,” you said, as he lined up with your entrance. “Just take it slow at first.”

“Okay,” he said, as he slowly pushed himself inside of you.

He was already dizzy at the feeling of your tight, wet pussy around his cock, and he felt relieved that he didn’t feel the pressure of making you cum again, because he was sure he wouldn’t be able to. He knew he’d be lucky if he didn’t bust within the first thirty seconds.

Some guys in bed were more vocal than others, and you were wondering what Ethan was going to be. Your question was soon answered when he started to move, and you heard him choking back the whimpers that were so close to pouring from his mouth.

“Don’t be quiet,” you said between your own sounds as he tried to find his rhythm, “I wanna hear you.”

He smiled at your words before his mouth fell open, finally letting you know exactly how good he was feeling. You wrapped your legs around his waist so he could go deeper, and the new angle, plus him hearing all your sounds and seeing all the faces you were making, had his orgasm quickly sneaking up on him.

“Oh fuck,” he whimpered, his breathing shaky as his hips began to falter. “I’m gonna cum.”

You were watching him as that feeling washed over his body, his eyes fluttering as he whined your name. You thought it was the hottest thing ever to see him fall apart so quick, all because of how good your pussy felt for him.

“I swear to god, I’m gonna make this up to you,” he said, as he slid out and laid on the bed beside you as he caught his breath.

“Make it up to me?” you asked, as you moved so your head was resting on his chest. His arm wrapped around you as he held you close. “Don’t feel bad about not making me cum just now.”

“I wanted to, though,” he sighed, “Next time I will.”

“I think after you get used to sex, you’ll have no problem making me cum,” you said, as your fingers traced pattern on his chest. “Especially if you bend me over. Like, all fours, on the bed.”

“You want me to bend you over?” Ethan asked, as you sat up to look at him.

“Mhm,” you hummed, your bottom lip between your teeth at the idea.

Ethan felt the blood rushing straight to his cock again from you mentioning him having you in a position like that, and when you glanced down to see him already half-hard again, you giggled to yourself.

“You forgot to take the condom off,” you said, his eyes growing wide as the blush spread to his cheeks.

“Sorry,” he said, as he slid off the side of your bed. “I couldn’t think straight after that.”

He took the condom off and tossed in in the wastebasket in your room before he walked back over towards you and sat on the bed.

“Uh, it’s totally okay if you don’t want to…but do you want to do it again?” he asked, as he glanced down to see that he was fully hard again. You looked at where his attention was, before his eyes connected with yours.

“Right now?” you asked, your tone playful as he smiled.

“If you want to,” he said, “I wanna know what it feels like to do it in every position.”

“How many days do you have?” you teased, as his eyes grew wide.

“Jesus Christ, how many are there?” he asked, “You know what? Let’s just focus on the basic ones for now.”

You wasted no time to toss another condom to Ethan, because even though you said it was okay for you to not cum the first time, you were craving that release. Well, that, and you loved the feeling of him inside of you.

Your pussy was still soaked as you got into the position on the bed, as he stood on his knees behind you.

“Fuck,” he mumbled, as he slowly pushed himself inside of you.

Ethan started off slow, wanting to pace himself so he wouldn’t cum as quickly as he did before. He had his hand on your hips as he got more into it, pulling them back to meet his thrusts. The position made it easy for him to hit that spot every single time, and you were letting out the softest moans.

When he sped up a little, you relaxed the upper half of your body onto the bed as your ass was stuck up in the air for him, a low groan leaving his mouth at the sight. Even though he was moving your hips, you started to throw them back, your actions giving him the motivation to go faster.

“Oh my god,” you whimpered, your hands clinging to your comforter as you felt that feeling start to build. Your skin was tingling, and you felt tiny little jolts of electricity running through your legs as he brought you closer to the edge.

Ethan knew he was close, but he was trying so hard to fight it off. He was thinking of some of the most depressing things to distract himself from the sounds you were making, and he knew as soon as he looked down at your back, he’d lose it.

You were trying to tell him how good everything felt, but that got a lot harder once it became difficult for you to even think of what you wanted to say. You were so close, right on the edge when you felt one of his hands that was on your hips move in between your legs, his fingers rubbing quick circles on your swollen bundle of nerves.

“Cumming,” you whimpered against your bed. Your pussy kept clenching and releasing Ethan’s cock, a low moan flying out of his mouth at the feeling.

“Fuck, baby. Me too.”

As you and Ethan laid in your bed talking about all the dates he wanted to take you on, places he wanted to take you to see, he had a realization.

“Ya know, I never asked you to be my girlfriend,” he said, as his hands ran over your back.

“You don’t have to. I’m already yours,” you said, as you sat up to kiss him.

“I never thought this would happen,” he sighed, a smile on his face as he lazily closed his eyes.

“What?” you questioned, as he opened his eyes and sat up, too.

“All of this. I never thought we’d be anything more than friends. I never thought Sam would be okay with it. I never thought I’d lose my virginity,” he said, the last part making you laugh as you rolled your eyes.

“Maybe you didn’t lose it before because you were supposed to do it with me,” you teased, as he mimicked your eyeroll.

“I also never expected it to happen twice in one night,” he said, as he bit his bottom lip, his eyes getting darker the longer he stared at you.

“Don’t look at me like that unless you want to go for round three,” you said, before he pushed you back on the bed.

“Okay, but you’re on top this time.”

[icrypop]

"Fatherly Advice"

TMNT 2012 Donatello

2012! Donnie x Fem! Reader

Fluuufffffyyyy

Hiya my lil bookworms, hope everyone is weellllll! I know its taken me a hot minute but my jobs kicking ass right now :') I'm so sorry and I'll try to update more but also give people chances to request!!! ANyway, thought this was cute cuz Splinter from 2012 is like... an awesome father figure and I love Donnie soooo- Here is some fluff!! Also, definitely make sure to check out writer Grem's stuff, they're working hard right now<3

ANYWAY, Requests are 100% open so pleaaaaseee ask away<33

-Writer Icy<3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the serene and dimly lit dojo beneath the bustling streets of New York City, Master Splinter sat in quiet meditation. The soft glow of candlelight flickered against the walls, casting gentle shadows that danced around the room. His keen ears caught the sound of hesitant footsteps approaching.

"Enter," he called, his voice calm and inviting.

A young girl with h/c hair stepped into the dojo, her eyes filled with uncertainty. Y/n had been a friend of the Turtles for some time, often joining them on their adventures. Recently, however, her heart had become overwhelmed with emotions she struggled to understand.

"Master Splinter," Y/n began, her voice barely above a whisper. "I need your advice."

Splinter opened his eyes and looked at her with a kind and knowing gaze. "Sit, my child. Tell me what troubles you."

Y/n took a deep breath and sat cross-legged before the wise old rat. "I... I think I've caught feelings for Donatello," she admitted, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. "But I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin our friendship or make things awkward between us, especially if he has a crush on April."

Splinter nodded slowly, considering her words. "Love is a powerful and beautiful emotion, Y/n. It is natural to feel uncertain when your heart is involved. Tell me, what is it about Donatello that draws you to him?"

Y/n smiled softly, her eyes lighting up as she thought of Donnie. "He's so intelligent and kind. He's always thinking of others and working so hard to help everyone. He's brave, but he also has this gentle side that... that makes me feel safe and cared for."

Splinter's whiskers twitched in amusement. "Donatello is indeed a remarkable young turtle. Your feelings for him are understandable and sincere."

Y/n sighed, her shoulders relaxing slightly. "But what if he doesn't feel the same way? Or what if it makes things complicated with the team?"

Splinter reached out and gently placed a hand on Y/n's shoulder. "In matters of the heart, there is always a risk. But love is not something to be feared. It is a gift to be cherished. If you speak honestly and openly with Donatello, you will find your path."

Y/n looked up at Splinter, her eyes filled with gratitude. "Thank you, Master Splinter. Your words mean a lot to me."

"Remember, Y/n," Splinter continued, "Love requires patience, understanding, and courage. If your feelings are true, they will find their way. And no matter the outcome, your bond with Donatello and the rest of the Turtles will endure."

Y/n nodded, feeling a sense of calm wash over her. "I will talk to him. Thank you for the advice sensei."

Splinter smiled warmly. "Go with confidence, my child. Trust in your heart and in Donatello's."

With newfound resolve, Y/n stood and bowed respectfully before leaving the dojo. As she made her way to the lab where Donatello was undoubtedly working on his latest invention, she felt a renewed sense of hope. Whatever the future held, she knew that Master Splinter's wisdom would guide her through the challenges ahead.

And in the quiet of the dojo, Splinter returned to his meditation, his heart full of pride for his son and the young girl who had bravely sought his counsel.

Donnie's POV~

Donatello adjusted his goggles, his focus completely absorbed by the precision needed to tend to the chemicals in front of him. The hum of machinery and the faint scent of chemicals filled the air, creating a familiar and comforting backdrop to his work. He was in his element, surrounded by the tools and gadgets that defined his world.

"Hey, Donnie," a voice called out, pulling him from his concentration.

He looked up, a smile spreading across his face as he saw Y/n standing at the entrance of his lab. Her presence was always a welcome distraction, though he could tell something was different this time. There was a nervousness in her eyes that made his heart skip a beat.

"Hey, Y/n! What's up? Need help with something?" he asked, setting his tools aside.

Y/n stepped closer, her eyes locking onto his. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something important."

Donatello's curiosity piqued, and he gave her his full attention. "Sure, what's on your mind?" He asked, raising his goggles.

Y/n took a deep breath, her voice trembling slightly. "Donnie, we've been through a lot together, and I really value our friendship. But lately, I've been feeling something more. I think… I know...Okay...I have feelings for you Donnie."

Donatello's eyes widened in surprise, his mind racing to process her words. "Y/n, I… I don't know what to say."

Before he could find the right words, a loud hissing sound filled the lab. Donnie's eyes darted to a beaker on his workbench, which was boiling over and fizzing violently.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed, rushing to grab a towel.

Before he could reach it, the top of the beaker exploded with a small, harmless pop, sending a shower of foam and liquid across the lab. Donatello and Y/n were both splattered with the pink fizzing mixture.

For a moment, there was stunned silence. Then, Y/n burst into laughter, her eyes sparkling with amusement. Donatello couldn't help but join in, his own laughter filling the lab.

"Well, that was unexpected," Y/n said, wiping foam from her face.

Donnie grinned, shaking his head. "I guess I got a little distracted. Thankfully, the mixture wasn't harmful."

They both laughed again, the tension of the moment melting away. Donatello reached out and wiped a bit of foam from Y/n's cheek, his touch lingering a moment longer than necessary.

"You know, Y/n," he said softly, "even with exploding beakers, this has been one of the best moments of my life."

Y/n's heart swelled with warmth, and she leaned into his soft touch. "Mine too, Donnie."

Donatello took a deep breath, his eyes locking onto hers with a newfound determination. "Y/n, I need you to know something. I've had feelings for you too, for a long time. I was always afraid to say anything because I didn't want to risk our friendship. But now, I don't want to hide it anymore. I care about you so much and I do reciprocate those feelings."

Leah's eyes widened in surprise and joy. "Really? What about April?"

Donatello nodded, his expression earnest. "Yes, Y/n. I got over April. Look, You're amazing, and I want to be with you...I-If you'll be my girlfriend, that is..."

They stood there for a moment, Donnie reaching slowly to hold her hand gently. The world around them seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in their shared happiness.

In that moment she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close foe a hug. he hesitantly wrapped his arms around her, stiffly before relaxing slowly. It was quiet a promise of many more moments to come, filled with love, laughter, and the bond that had brought them together.

As they cleaned up the lab side by side, their hearts were light, knowing that they had taken the first step on a new and exciting journey together. Donatello couldn't help but feel a sense of joy and contentment, knowing that Leah felt the same way. And with her by his side, he knew that their adventures would be even more special.

Little did the duo know, Splinter was just outside, listening to the whole exchange with a proud smile on his face, "That's my son." he nodded and made his way back to the dojo to continue his meditation.

[ashensgrotto]

Weren't You Aware, Angelfish?

Characters: Yandere!Azul x GN! Reader

Summary: You think it's a game, but it's much more than that…

Word Count: 3k

Author's Notes: A little background on this one; I actually really got into the Octavinelle Trio when the Little Mermaid event (which ran during third week of May in 2023) was going on following the live action film being released in theaters. At the time, I was also about midway through the "Merchant of the Depths" and was laughing at myself for the irony of participating in an event that matched the story I was reading. And I even received Azul’s SSR dorm card in the mirror summoning as well. 

Either way, I had come across a few head cannons and short stories of if the characters were actually aware of themselves being in a game and thought I'd take my own spin on it with Azul (I know there's a lot of these ones for this character - but you have to admit, the guy's got style).

Warnings: Obsession/manipulative behaviors, some bullying elements, self-aware

***This one is a softer Yandere than what I've done recently***

***

"Oh, hey guys."

Azul blinked in surprise as a pair of (e/c) eyes peered out at him and the twins from under strands of (h/c).

It was the Ramshackle dorm prefect - and yet it wasn't.

Azul knew that he, among many others, were mere characters in a game called "Twisted Wonderland" - a battle simulation game that followed the stories of seven famous villains from a strange land called "Disney." The main character of the game was a character by the name of "Yuu," but each player had selected to choose a different name for their character depending upon their preferences and personalities - though Azul could never be certain if it was their real name or not.

This one just happened to go by the name (Y/C).

(Y/C) had appeared before them around a month ago, Azul had remembered a droning voice on speakers as the player before them shifted on a seat of metal, thier eyes looking towards the screen then away again before they closed the game. The other characters had been confused by it - usually a player would stay for a bit and work on the stories or do lessons when they first started. (Y/C), however, was shifty and nervous - they reminded Azul of a mouse that scuttled across the floors of the Ramshackle dorm, constantly stopping and looking around before continuing on its way. 

However, as things progressed, Azul quickly learned that (Y/C) was indeed a diligent player. 

He would hear them laugh at Ace and Deuce’s antics, mumble under their breath when they knew something was going to happen, and gap at each of the overblots as they happened. Azul quickly became interested in the player, moving to the front scenes as his turn to take the spotlight appeared. As they worked through his story, he found them to be… well, quite like him. They were crafty and cunning, all smiles and false confidence - a show they put on when they weren't alone. People fell for their charms like prey to an angular fish, their bright light luring them in until they snapped them up as per their job required. However, they struck good bargains with them - something that Azul had… never invested in.

Now, there was a special event that he and the tweels would be a part of - a special event for a revised film inspired by the life of the Great Sea Witch.

Azul looked on as (Y/C) shifted through the cards in thier possession, having selected Floyd first. They had received his dorm card about two weeks prior to the event, their excitement to raise its stats apparent in the forefront of thier mind. They filled the class, selecting Jade’s ceremonial robes card as well as Azul’s ceremonial robes card along with Cater and Rook's dorm uniform cards before heading into the class with Floyd with Azul watching on in curiosity.

"Something on your mind, Azul?" Jade asked him from his doorway, "You seemed to be watching our magicless prefect a bit more than normal."

Azul regarded his vicewarden with an arched brow, "Jade, I have no idea what you are talking about."

Jade smiled, his teeth peering out from behind his lips, “Azul, forgive me, but if I didn’t know any better… I’d say you were jealous.”

“Jealous?” Azul scoffed with a wave of his hand, “Who said anything of the sort?”

Jade crossed an arm around his middle as his other arm rested on top, his forefinger and thumb stroking his chin in thought, “Not that it makes any difference, but I’ve noticed you’ve been keeping quite a close eye on our player - quite the character, are they not?”

Azul shrugged, “I suppose so…”

“I bet you haven’t given a thought to knowing them outside of the game, though.”

Azul turned at the comment, his sea green eyes glowing with mischief as a tell-tale smile formed across his lips, “My dear Jade, have you and Floyd been up to something?”

Jade smiled in agreement, “Of course we have… would you like to hear?”

“I would indeed. Tell me what you know.”

Jade uncrossed his arms and folded his hands into his pockets, “Our player has only been playing for about a month, as you know well - and has obviously cleared three books of our game within that time frame. They like a good gamble here and there, but they understand when there’s a time for fun and a time for work - something you should learn in my opinion.”

“Yes, yes,” Azul waved his hand, “Whom is their current favorite?”

“It varies from day to day - though (Y/C)’s profile indicates that it is currently Malleus Draconia,” Jade answered, “However, based on their world… they do have a fascination for sea creatures.”

Azul frowned, “Their world?”

Jade nodded, “Every so often we’re given a glimpse of the player’s real world - their reality. (Y/C) currently lives with an ailing father and a mother that is trying to hold everything together. They’re a full time student in what they call ‘high school’ and works at a family restaurant part time as a waitress. They like spending time on social media, reading when not with us, and does a bit of sewing from my understanding.”

Azul rubbed his chin in thought, “Do they… play other games?”

“Several - (Y/C) has a very high social media presence and has been gaining followers over the course of several years, speciallizing in strategic battle games and, apparently, even romance games,” Jade answered, “However… (Y/C)’s very shy and keeps to themselves quite a bit. From my understanding, they’re not exactly… well-liked by the other students at the school they attend. (Y/C) often eats alone and prefers the company of fictional characters or those online to those in their world.”

“Not well-liked? (Y/C)’s well-liked here!” Azul answered in confusion.

“Perhaps, but we all eventually become attached to our player - they’re the star of their own story here, after all,” Jade agreed, “And (Y/C)’s practically the same in their world - kind, supporting, caring… but is an outcast.”

“Care to explain why?”

Jade shakes his head, “I wish I could tell you, Azul - but even I am not certain why that is.”

Azul squeezed his lips in thought before turning to Jade, “Is there a way we can dig into more about our player?”

“There might be something within the profile, but a chance at looking into the outside world? That is a one in a million chance of happening. I was given a glance when (Y/C) was using me for a battle - but it was very short. The rest of the information I gathered was from other characters - specifically Cater who has been with them the longest. You know how he will speak for a chance at gaining more followers.”

Azul chuckled with a smile, “Excellent work, Jade. For the time being, I’d like to find out as much as you can about our player - Floyd, if he’s in the mood, will probably want to know more about ‘shrimpy’ as well, get him in on the search too. Though, I suppose we can only do what we can for right now…”

***

In the days that followed, (Y/C) was consistently in the Octorio’s presence. As they met each requirement the Octavinelle Training Camp event gave them, (Y/C) beat every battle they were given and took in the rewards with vigor; their method was simple - they finished all of Floyd’s tasks before closing the game, reopening it the following day with fresh eyes and ready for the challenges that awaited them and selected Jade as their next partner. Azul watched from the sidelines as each task was completed and battle won; it was strange to hear how (Y/C) would always keep the trio together, Azul stuck in between the tweels as they switched spots. However - Azul couldn’t be completely disappointed in them; after all, (Y/C) did invite him to attend each lesson with them and the tweels. 

So why was it so hard for him to not feel this… jealous anger that was slowly rising with him? It wasn't like they were anything interesting - the only thing they had in common, maybe, was the fact that (Y/C) was business-minded - even for a high schooler. 

Azul pinched the bridge of his nose as cards of various characters floated across the screen; Floyd... Vil... Epel... Malleus... Trey... All of them appeared across the screen over and over like turbulant waves on the shorelines - yet none of them were of him. (Y/C) flipped through the cards again, their (e/c) eyes hard with determination.

"One last roll," Azul heard them say, "I have enough for a chance encounter - please let it be one I don't have."

The music played as the dark mirror appeared again, "Bearer of dark powers, I call thee forth!"

Azul could practically feel (Y/C) vibrating with anticipation as clacks echoed in the small area that was their bedroom. Jade... Floyd... Vil... Sebek... Idia... Malleus... Lilia... Rook...

"You're so lucky to have met a compassionate person like me..."

Azul's voice stuck in his throat as (Y/C) squealed in delight, "AZUL! Oh my GOD! I have your CARD!"

And indeed they had gotten it - Azul's SSR dorm card flashed across the screen with the octomer perched in a leather chair, Jade and Floyd just behind him with the sea witch's familiar mirror in the background. Azul was vibrating with excitement - at long last, he was now in the spotlight, appearing before (Y/C) in his finely dressed dorm uniform. The octomer was beside himself with excitement as (Y/C) clicked back on the homescreen, scrolling through their cards and smiling as they found the newest addition.

"Azul..." they whispered so softly, "I'm so excited... I wasn't expecting this... not in the slightest. I hope that I don't disappoint - I'll get this leveled up and we'll work together, you and me."

'You could never disappoint me, angelfish,' Azul wanted to say as he felt something pull him to the front of the screen. He now stood in Ramshackle Dorm, front and center as the eyes of (Y/C) looked upon him, thier features brightening.

"Thank you so much, Azul," they grinned, a look of sheer awe and excitement taking root across their face, "I'm so glad to add you to the team."

***

The event ended far too quickly for Azul's liking, meaning that he could no longer work with his player one-on-one - at least until the next training camp. For now, Azul was content to use his days watching his player as he peered into their normal everyday life. 

Jade had not been lying when he told Azul about (Y/C)’s busy schedule - they awoke every morning at six on the nose, dressed and readied themselves for school - helping their mom with a few simple chores before heading out the door. (Y/C) was an intriguing student, using common sense to answer their professors’ questions and asking more in return - though Azul could hear snickering in the background and soft insults that were directed at his player. (Y/C) sat alone at lunch, the game open in front of them as they nibbled on a sandwich - keeping thier promise to level up Azul's card as they doodled in the notebook beside them. A few times, they would have a set of headphones in and would hum along with the music that would come through the speakers - making Azul strain to hear them. After school, (Y/C) would head over to one of the local restaraunts, changing into their work uniform and began the grunging job of serving guests. Azul listened as the clientel would call them over - some pleasant, others not so much; though he was surprised by (Y/C) ways of handling them, giving their best award-winning smile and working their way into their hearts to the point that they couldn't take it or dropped the subject entirely.

Day in and day out, Azul was there and listened to everything everyone told them; week after week, he saw the light slowly begin to fade from their eyes...

And by the time summer had come, (Y/C) was struggling - mentally and emotionally. Gone was the happy-go-lucky teen that Azul had slowly become attatched to, in their place was a saddened and heavy-burdened individual that sought the comfort of loniness - fictional characters were their only friends now.

One night, (Y/C) perched on their bed after a particularly rough day at work. Azul had seen one of the customers - another student that was prone to bullying (Y/C) in class - trip them while they were carrying a pot of hot soup to bring to the salad bar; regardless if it was intentional or unintentional, (Y/C) could have been seriously injured - burned from how hot the liquid was. Then, (Y/C)’s boss degraded them - telling them that if they weren't so stupid and watched where they were going, none of this would've happened; even though it was clearly not (Y/C)’s fault. When they got home, (Y/C)’s mother had to rush their father off to the hospital - something about his ailment suddenly turning for the worse and making (Y/C) now worried sick about their father's health - no longer caring about the injury they sustained and the pain they felt within. 

(Y/C) tapped the screen of the game, opening up and laying their phone against a box that sat on the bedside table, watching as Azul greeted them in his normal fashion.

"Helping people is what I live for. As housewarden, I will do everything to support my students," Azul smiled in greeting.

"I wish the same could be said for me," (Y/C) sighed, laying their head against the pillow as the music of the Mostro Lounge filled the background of the bedroom.

"Hm? And why do you think I wouldn't support you, angelfish?"

(Y/C) turned to look at their phone as Azul smiled. They rubbed thier face for a moment before muttering, "I must be more tired than I thought. I thought you just said something."

"I did, angelfish," Azul's voice came loud and clear as (Y/C)s' eyes widened, "I said, 'Why do you think I wouldn't support you?'"

(Y/C) blinked, "Y-you... talked. You can talk?"

"Of course I can talk," Azul answered, resting his hands on his hips in disappointment, "What makes you think that I wouldn't? We've talked before, after all."

"Y-yes... but that was scripted," (Y/C) rubbed their face again, "I must be dreaming - just some fantastical thing because of the stress and anger I've been experiencing lately."

"(Y/N), come now, you know that's not true."

"H-how do... you know my name?"

"I've been keeping an eye on you for some time, (Y/N)," Azul answered, "I know all about you - what you like and dislike, what your biggest fears and regrets are and what you wish for most in the world. I can offer that, you know."

"Offer what?" (Y/N) rubbed their face then, "Wait a minute... why am I even discussing this with you? You're a character in a game and I live in the real world - there's no way this is happening either - this is just the rambling of a stressed out lonely teenager who gets enjoyment out of playing a game and reading fanfictions."

"I assure you, this is no dream," Azul answered, "And you're not going to get rid of me that easily either."

(Y/N) frowned, "What do you mean? What did you do?"

"Simply enough - I hacked this phone," Azul admitted, "It took a bit to figure out the workings of it, but now you won't be able to do anything unless I give you my permission to do so."

"You... what?!" (Y/N) glared at Azul, "This is my only form of communication! My only way to be someone! I use this for school! Work! Why would you do that?"

"I admire your ability and drive, angelfish, I really do," Azul smiled wickedly, "However - 'real life,' as you call it, is keeping you from me. You were hurt today and have been stepped on over and over like a piece of gum on your school's cemented sidewalks. What I am willing to offer you, in exchange for your undivided attention that is, will allow you complete freedom from the outside world. You will never have to experience that sort of degration and torement again."

"And what about my friends? My family?" (Y/N) askes, "You think I'll sign my name on a contract of yours so willingly?"

"You did the first time around."

"That was scripted!"

"Angelfish," Azul's tone turned dark, "You really have no say in this. I know your family is struggling so I'll modify the contract, only for your sake though. As for your 'friends,' you really have none in that world - I have been with you for the past two months, constantly watching you and, yes, protecting you. You might not see it now, but you will in due time - besides we're the same age, are we not?"

"Close... maybe," (Y/N) admits.

"Then, what's the problem?" Azul folded his arms across his chest, "Sign the contract - and I will give you everything your heart desires."

The screen shifted as a familiar golden hue appeared on the screen.

"Here's the deal, Angelfish," Azul's voice appeared in the background, "In exchange for your undivided attention, I will grant you - and your family - the funds needed to help you both financially and comfort.  You and family will want for nothing and I will provide support you your ailing father. You will belong to me completely, and when such a time arrives that the two of us are old enough, we will be married."

(Y/N) looked over the contract on the screen, biting her lip.

"And you promise I will be able to stay with my family? Still see them when I want to?"

"Yes - it would be improper for the two of us to live together as I will need time to prepare for that event. However, you will not be able to tell anyone about this arrangement - unless you wish to lose your voice in the process."

"N-no thank you."

(Y/N) could practically see Azul's grinning features, "Then, Angelfish mine... sign on the dotted line. Let's embark on this new adventure... together, just you and me."

[thefrogman]

Recently I took a panorama of the Pittsburgh skyline at night that got a positive response. That was done on the spur of the moment with an iPhone. I want to do that again and more, but this time with a dedicated camera setup. It's been years since I've had one, so I'm basically starting over again. I'm mostly interested in getting day and night cityscapes, and maybe the carryings-on at this year's Anthrocon. Would you have any particular knowledge to pass on as I set off on this journey?

Since you didn't specify a budget I'm going to assume it is in the $10K range.

And you're probably thinking I'm going to suggest a Leica. Every dentist and his brother (who is also a dentist) gets a Leica. But I just can't take a camera brand seriously when they charge you an extra $2200 for the privilege of not being able to shoot in color.

Sure, you can hit a single button in Lightroom to get B&W and save some money, but then you won't be able to brag about how limiting yourself to only shades of gray has opened up new artistic pathways in your brain while a clueless person responds in mumbles during their root canal.

What you really want for your landscapes is a Hassie.

They were the first camera on the moon! How could you *not* want a Hasselblad? That is some camera gorgeousness right there. And it's so reasonably priced*!

*compared to their previous $40,000 camera systems.

And if you are doing landscapes with the Hassie you'll need a nice wide angle lens to go with it. This one is actually quite affordable*!

*compared to their previous $8000 lenses.

Can we all agree that is a work of art? They even use their H logo as the knurling.

That is just so... extra. And I love it.

Out of the entire alphabet I've heard Hs give you the best grip.

Man, I almost wish I was a dentist just so I could buy a fancy camera.

Sorry... I was just having a little fun.

I never get to recommend the super cool expensive cameras. Because, ya know, the economy and the fact that only dentists have Hasselblad money.

You probably think I'm being silly but there actually is an entire community of dentist photographers keeping the high end camera market alive.

Okay, let's get started...

Landscape Buying Guide

Opening Thoughts

For landscapes I would highly suggest a full frame camera and a high quality wide angle lens.

Full frame has several advantages but it is not necessary. You can go with a smaller sensor like APS-C and get great images. Personally I would not go any smaller, but there have been some great landscapes taken on micro 4/3 and even smartphones. Technique, knowledge, experience, and composition will usually win the day over a camera, but having a nice camera makes things a lot easier.

At this point, with full frame options being very affordable now, the main reason to get a smaller sensor is if you want a smaller system that is easier to carry for extended periods and easier to pack when traveling. Or if you aren't sure you want to take on photography as a hobby, you can get an old APS-C DSLR for under $200 to learn with and test out.

So if you need a very cheap OR very compact system, APS-C and Micro 4/3 might be worth considering, but a bigger sensor will cause less frustration most of the time.

Froggie Note: The expensive Micro 4/3 and APS-C systems are the compact ones. The cheap systems are about as bulky as full frame.

The biggest advantages to full frame are low light shooting, lens selection, and field of view. Full frame cameras have many, many more lenses to choose from. And since the sensor is bigger, it is much easier to get a wider field of view that is often needed for landscapes. And the high ISO noise performance tends to be better on full frame.

However, you can use full frame lenses on APS-C camera bodies within the same ecosystem. They just get a little... zoomier. Roughly 1.5x zoomier. A 35mm acts like a 50mm, for example. So if you want to spend a little less now you can get an APS-C camera with a full frame lens and then upgrade to full frame later on without having to buy a new lens. Full frame lenses work on APS-C bodies but not the other way around.

Most landscapists have a really solid 16-35mm lens and that covers almost all of their needs. So I would suggest something comparable. Please don't get suckered into some crazy 18-300mm superzoom. Just get the focal range you need for the photos you want to achieve.

A purpose-built lens always outperforms one that was made to do everything.

As far as where to get used gear, I highly recommend using KEH or MPB when buying used camera bodies. They check every device and offer between 3 and 6 months warranty to make sure the device won't crap out on you. Lenses are typically a lot more robust and a safer thing to buy on eBay or Facebook Marketplace if you can find a better deal. But the security of having a warranty and a return apparatus if something goes wrong might be worth the extra price when using these two sites.

I am going to recommend Canon, Nikon, and Sony systems. I feel they have the most complete ecosystems with gear that spans all budget ranges. I'm not saying there aren't good cameras from other brands, but you have to remember every camera has an ecosystem surrounding it. There are accessories and upgrade paths and niche lenses that may not be available with other brands. I think Fuji has some tempting options and if you like the look of vintage film photography, their emulation options are quite stunning. Their cameras are also quite attractive and have very satisfying knobs. But I still can't recommend them unless you have a specific reason for wanting their gear.

Just remember that for every Canon DSLR I recommend there is a comparable Nikon option available as well. There are more lenses for a Canon full frame DSLR body than any other brand with Nikon coming in a close second.

So if you choose not to go mirrorless yet, the Canon and Nikon DSLR camera ecosystems are immense and have tons of gear and accessories available to go with them. And since used gear holds up really well, those ecosystems will survive for decades.

Should you buy a mirrorless camera or a DSLR?

Mirrorless cameras are the latest camera technology for interchangeable lens camera systems. At this point they are superior in every aspect and they continue to improve year by year. Because of that, used DSLRs have plummeted in price. This allows people greater access to a starter ILC (interchangeable lens camera) without a significant investment. You can get professional quality images on either format, but mirrorless has a shallower learning curve and much better automatic modes.

The in-body image stabilization (IBIS) stabilizes *every* lens and the eye tracking autofocus make "focus and re-compose" extinct. These are huge selling points for a lot of people. With IBIS you can take photos with up to 2-4 second shutter speeds without a tripod. And never missing focus on a human or animal or bird is pretty cool too.

DSLR camera bodies are no longer being designed by most of the major manufacturers. Thankfully Canon and Nikon developed plenty of bodies and lenses, so you will always have options and upgrade paths. But you will not be able to upgrade to systems with the latest advanced features.

The best DSLRs available are probably the Nikon D850 and the Canon 5D Mark IV. That is as good as it will ever get. The technology ends there. So if you want to enter an active camera ecosystem then you will have to get a mirrorless camera.

DSLR Camera Systems

Full Frame DSLR Camera Bodies

Canon

If you buy a used DSLR, there are some very affordable full frame options. In fact, the classic much-praised budget full frame Canon 6D can be had for under $300 right now.

This is an old camera. It has no fancy features. It only has 20 megapixels. It just does what it says on the tin. But it has a big sensor and a *ton* of really cool lenses available for it.

If you are specifically looking to create really high resolution panos, you could also look at the 50 megapixel 5DS R for around $1000.

There is a community of landscape pano-maniacs that love to create "gigapans" that have endless amounts of detail where you can zoom in and find new details in every photo. I was only able to create a 120 megapixel photo, but you can still find things like people starting a campfire and a dude fishing and a truck on a far off bridge. So even though this seems expensive for a DSLR, you are looking at another thousand bucks to find anything with more megapixels than this bad boy, so it is quite a good deal relatively speaking.

Nikon

Probably the best DSLRs ever made were the Nikon D800 series and you can get the Nikon D800 for $464.

This is a newer camera than the 6D with more megapixels (36) and a better sensor. It also has a more modern autofocus system and about 3 more stops of dynamic range which can come in handy for landscapes. This is an incredible camera for this price.

APS-C DSLR Camera Bodies

If you aren't sure you want to commit to this hobby, you can look into a Canon APS-C sensor body like the Canon Rebels and Canon 60D through 90D models and get good results.

And there are many Nikon DX APS-C bodies that would be great starter cameras as well. If you get a Nikon, you'd have an upgrade path to the D800 if you get hooked by the photography bug. I would miss a few very special Canon lenses like the 100mm f/2.8L macro and the 400mm f/5.6 telephoto but I'm sure I could figure out some reasonable Nikon alternatives that would do roughly the same thing.

Canon APS-C

There is a Canon 60D for $139 right now that would be perfectly adequate for landscape work on a tripod.

That was my first camera and I took some very nice photos with it. Only 18 megapixels but it has a very convenient flippy screen which was really helpful for a disabled photographer trying to get low angles.

This was in 2014 and I didn't know what I was doing but that is a pretty stellar-looking sunset for a (now) $140 camera.

Nikon APS-C

And the Nikon D3400 would be a great option as well at around $184.

You get some extra megapixels (24) and it is a bit newer than the Canon. I get the sense that used Nikon DSLRs give you more value for your money right now but I don't have a large enough sample size to confirm that.

Full Frame DSLR Lenses

Froggie Note: I am recommending full frame lenses even if you choose an APS-C DSLR body so you have an upgrade path. But also very few purpose-built APS-C lenses had superior glass. Just remember, crop sensor APS-C cameras add ~1.5x to your focal length. So a 16-35mm will have the equivalent field of view of a 24-50mm lens. Still quite acceptable for landscapes, but you may benefit from doing panoramas more often. And if you upgrade to full frame down the road, you'll already have the ideal lens.

Canon DSLR Lenses

If you get the 6D or another Canon you could pair it with the beloved-by-landscapists Canon 16-35mm f/4L.

Honestly, it is blowing my mind you can get that combo for under $600. Me from 12 years ago is super jealous right now.

If you are worried you might need something to work in lower light and still want a zoom, the f/2.8L starts at around $434.

This might be the most famous landscape lens of all time. Kinda boggles the mind how many gorgeous vistas this thing has captured the light of.

If you can live without the zoom, you could get a much sharper prime lens that can also be used in even lower light. A used Sigma 24mm f/1.4 Art lens is $439 would be a fantastic option.

24mm is still a very good focal length for landscapes and the sharpness of this lens lends well to panoramic stitches. Seriously, these art lens are so freaking sharp. Although 35mm is typically preferred for most street photography, I think this would do great for that purpose as well. It couldn't do close up portraits, but 3/4 and full body portraits would look great. I also love this focal length for doggos. It enlarges their heads a bit which enhances adorable-ness.

Though I probably wouldn't recommend the 24mm on APS-C for landscapes as it would put you near a 40mm full frame equivalent field of view.

Nikon DSLR Lenses

And on the Nikon side of things you could get the Nikkor 16-35mm f/4 for $399.

This is a great lens too. Very comparable to the Canon L glass. And paired with that D800 you would have a better shooting experience than with the 6D if it fits within your budget.

It's a little harder to find, but you can also get that same Sigma 24mm f/1.4 Art lens for Nikon at around $528 used on Amazon and in the $400 range on KEH and MPB when it is available.

The older and softer Nikkor 28mm f/1.8 is a little more affordable and easier to find.

What if you are not a dentist but are willing to save up for something a little nicer?

Enter the world of...

Mirrorless Camera Systems

Sony currently has my favorite ecosystem of mirrorless cameras and lenses and they are consistently ahead of the other brands as far as technology and features. In fact, many other manufacturers use Sony sensors. They literally supply their competition with their own tech. They are also pretty good about updating firmware—even with older models. So I feel like Sony has a lot of future-proofing advantages over other brands. Sony has a great selection of 3rd party lenses like Sigma, Tamron, Viltrox, Laowa, Samyang, etc. These lenses often have nearly the same optical quality as Sony's G Master lenses at a fraction of the price.

Full Frame Mirrorless

Currently, I think the best value full frame mirrorless camera for landscapes would be the Sony a7R III.

This is very nearly a top-of-the-line landscape camera for a little over $1200.

That might sound like a lot, but I want to be clear...

This isn't just decent. This isn't "good enough." This is a spectacular professional grade full frame camera.

10 years ago you could spend $6500 for a *worse* camera. 5 years ago you could spend $3000 for a *worse* camera.

It can do every genre of photography except for maybe fast paced sports/action. It has an amazing 42 megapixels—which are not necessary but they do make editing and printing a lot less of a headache. The file sizes can get a little big, but storage is a lot cheaper than it used to be.

Oh, and it can be used for professional quality 4K video work too.

The a7R III comes with all of the modern bells and whistles including in-body stabilization (IBIS) so you can handhold at very slow shutter speeds. It has one of the best autofocus systems—complete with eye tracking. But not just human eyes! Dog eyes. Cat eyes. Bird eyes. If it has an eye, the Sony can probably lock focus on it. And it has an admirable 10 fps burst shooting mode.

APS-C Mirrorless

If you want to enter the Sony ecosystem but can't afford full frame quite yet, you could do the a6400 for about $600.

You still get the eye-tracking and the in-body stabilization, but you will lose some image quality at higher ISOs due to the smaller sensor size. However, you can get the same full frame E-mount lenses for it and upgrade to a bigger sensor later on and not have to buy new lenses.

Mirrorless Landscape Lenses

I think a good value landscape lens would be the very impressive Tamron 20-40mm f/2.8.

This is a newer lens so there aren't many deals on used options yet. But this is still a great price for the quality and versatility you get. You will never regret spending a little more on glass.

The 20mm range can fit an entire cityscape in the frame without needing to do a panorama. But if you zoom to 40mm and mount the camera vertically, you could stitch together several photos to get well over the 100 megapixel range.

Also, the 40mm focal range is long enough to do street photography and even head & shoulder portraits. The wide f/2.8 aperture combined with the high-ISO friendly full frame sensor and in-body stabilization means you can shoot in very low light without a tripod. You can also get some great pictures of stars if you travel to someplace with minimal light pollution.

The cheapest landscape zoom lens I could find was the Sony 16-35mm f/4 at $384.

It's one of Sony's older lenses and may not take advantage of all of the a7R III's pixels, but it would be a good option to get you started in this system and upgrade the lens later on.

Mirrorless Prime Lenses

Zoom lenses are great but you have to spend more to get tolerable quality. Kit zooms can be softer than even the tiny plastic lenses on your phone. So a great way to stretch your budget is to get multiple fixed focal length "prime" lenses. Primes can be built inexpensively while still having good low light performance and decent sharpness.

For instance, you could start with something like the Tamron 20mm f/2.8 for $175. And if you want to do more than landscapes you could add the Sony 50mm f/1.8 for $170 later on. Cheap primes will outperform any of those mediocre kit zoom lenses in that same price range. You lose some versatility and have to deal with the pain of changing lenses or zooming with your feet, but sometimes a tight budget demands a little pain.

There is also a higher quality 3rd party wide angle prime lens that is very popular right now. The Viltrox 16mm f/1.8 is only $549 and the reviews say it has similar quality to lenses 3 times its price.

If you have to choose between a better camera body or a better lens, a good lens will help your photos more than a fancy camera body.

Froggie Note: These are examples. You should always do your own research before making a major technological purchase. This post could be a year old by the time you see it and there could be new stuff that is better. But all of the principles I tried to convey should hopefully guide you to a good decision. Also, feel free to message me if you want to ask about specific gear you are considering purchasing.

More Resources

This is my Encyclopedia of Lens Terms which is a helpful primer in understanding all of the wonderful and different lens options available on ILCs.

This is my buying guide for low budget used DSLRs. Similar to this post but less geared toward landscapes.

And this guide for getting decent landscape photos with any camera.

This is a free tutorial that teaches you everything you need to get started with an ILC system.

And this free tutorial by Karl Taylor is quite good as well.

[stirringwinds]

While I feel that hws France is hard to portray I do wonder what headcanons you have for him. Care to tell a few that come to mind?

a lot of my headcanons of francis/françois are from the british imperial + sea/east asian perspective, so with that in mind, these are some thoughts i've had:

a. françois' strengths are that he can be very charming and good at putting people at ease. he is somebody, if you ran into him somewhere, just comes off as a really interesting person. he can talk for ages about his passion for philosophy, art, literature, science and cooking without it getting boring to the listener.

b. he can be a really good lover too and is that sort of person who considers it a point of pride to make his partners enjoy his company. the sort of person who will make dinner and probably also a good breakfast for you. but one of his flaws is that he can also be pretty self-centred at times, and sometimes he uses his charisma to get out of things or simply dodge issues in his personal relationships.

c. françois, much like arthur, is in the Bad Parent club vis a vis matthew in the 17—18th centuries. where they differ however, is i feel that arthur was controlling but more...present, whereas françois was more...dismissive. matthew would get letters from arthur instructing him to do this and that, which for matthew at least acknowledged him, whereas françois might just not even write to him much at all, especially after matthew came under arthur's control.

d. françois really clicked with alfred during the revolutionary war. it helped that alfred was punching arthur in the dick, but i think that françois for all his flaws, genuinely possesses a somewhat more idealistic streak (than say, arthur imo) so that gelled well with alfred spouting all kinds of enlightenment thoughts (especially since he was also reading french writers like Montesquieu).

e. françois and lien (vietnam) have a complicated (to say the least) relationship due to the history of french imperialism over vietnam; i see francis being much younger than her (she and yao are peers in age!), so lien fitted him very much into her prior experience as an older female nation being forced to deal with 'boys playing at being empires'. lien probably shot him in the face at least once during the first indochina war, that tried to re-establish colonial rule over vietnam in the 1950s. however, i do think they can talk more cordially in more recent decades, with normalisation of ties. cooking is perhaps one topic that is a common interest—vietnamese banh mi is a kind of sandwich originating from french baguettes that incorporates local ingredients, and it's a really tasty and popular streetfood. there's also a big french-vietnamese population in paris today.

f. kiku was absolutely not impressed by monet's la japonaise, nor 'madame chrysanthème', the wildly racist and orientalist mess that Madame Butterfly was based on. it was exoticising, not flattering to him—he was however, more amenable to those of françois' artists that incorporated japanese artistic techniques in more genuine ways, or with françois' own view of aesthetics and his knowledge and interest in engineering.

g. yao, much like kiku later, was someone françois was very interested in culturally—as seen from the boom in chinoiserie when trade with china began back in the 17th century. i think french is probably one of the first european languages yao learns (besides portuguese). it's a fairly functional trading relationship—until of course, french imperialist interests began expanding in yao's sphere of influence and the opium wars.

h. i'm a fruk fan so naturally i think his love-hate relationship with arthur is one of his most significant r/ships—arthur has been a neighbour, friend, enemy, lover and everything in between. but! scotfra is another very, very long-term relationship important to him (auld alliance!). also on an EU level well, there's him and ludwig too.

i. naturally, he's also fairly fashionable, and i feel like he'll always eye himself critically even if he's going out casually, compared to way i can see arthur being fairly chill about strolling out in that questionable, ill-fitting acid green christmas sweater alfred sent him as a joke once. i also think françois probably smokes a fair bit, compared to how arthur's gotten a kick in the arse to cut back after WWII. and nowadays, he'll often just be relaxing with a cigarette on the balcony of his apartment with a book, or enjoying a day out in one of his museums.

[chestnutninny]

hello there! i hope your day is going well 🩷 may i request a kim greylek sfw alphabet?

thanks!!!!

Kim Greylek SFW Alphabet

Hiii, my day is going amazing, thank you so much for asking. How are you? Of course you can request this, I actually love Kim, however Casey will always be my favourite :))) I'm sorry this has taken so long to happen, however I've had a lot going on recently, so I'm focussing on catching up now, whilst I'm starting to feel better. (@zolofts )

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

A- Affectionate (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Kim is very affectionate with you behind closed doors but not always in front of other people, especially her co-workers. A lot of the time, she shows her affection by buying you gifts or taking you out on spontaneous dates.

B- Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

As a best friend, Kim would be the best friend that you could ask for. She would be super supportive of everything that you do and would always make sure to give you her best advice and guidance. She would also stick up for you as that is required in her job, so she naturally does it without even realising. Your friendship would start through a mutual friend that you both had, and would meet at a birthday party of this friend. You would both fall into easy conversation and Kim would ask if you would like to leave the party with her, and allow her to buy you a drink elsewhere.

C- Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Kim loves to cuddle, however she must always be the little spoon. She loves how safe and secure she feels wrapped up in your arms and always struggles to leave you in the morning when she’s working early. The majority of the time she wants to cuddle in a spooning position. However, sometimes she is open to lying on your chest, listening to the rhythm of your heartbeat.

D- Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Kim did struggle with the idea of settling down as she wanted to put her career first and foremost, giving it almost all of her attention and time. However, she knew that you were worth settling down and she did cut down on burying herself in extra work and overtime, just to make time for you and to take you on dates throughout the week at any available time she had to spare. You can’t deny the fact that Kim is quite a good cook and she makes you breakfast in bed when she isn’t working on the weekends. However, she isn’t the best at cleaning, always leaving stuff behind in the process.

E- Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

In the past, Kim has been cold to her partners when breaking up with them, as she had lost her feelings a while ago. Therefore, she would either break up with them over message or discuss the topic bluntly over a quick phone call. However, with you all that changed and she couldn’t even think of breaking up with you or how she would do it.

F- Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they do it?)

Kim was initially very scared to commit, however after lots of reassurance from you about how much you cared for her and loved her, she knew that there was nobody else that we would rather be with. She proposed to you well into your 3rd or 4th year together, taking you on a romantic holiday to Italy.

G- Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

She is very gentle both physically and emotionally. She’ll look after you as much as she possibly can, wrapping you up in her arms. Emotionally, she is very patient with you, waiting until you are ready to talk about your feelings and open up to her.

H- Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Kim absolutely loves hugs, adoring the feeling of you being close together. She loves to hug you at every opportunity she has because it's her preferred way of showing her affection for you. Her hugs are warm and comfortable, and she nuzzles her head into the crook of your neck, breathing in the smell of your perfume. 

I- I Love You (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Surprisingly, Kim is very fast at admitting that she loves you, because she is confident in your relationship and knowing what she wants in a partner, which you manage to tick all of the boxes of hers.

J- Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Kim isn’t very jealous as she knows where your priorities lie, and she completely trusts you. However, you can tell that she is slightly bothered when she crawls up the bed, tucking herself underneath your chin, curled up in a ball.

K- Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Kim’s kisses are usually very gentle, as if she’s worried of breaking you. Her plump lips brush against your own, encasing them in a pillowy embrace, which never fails to make you blush. However, it’s not completely rare to receive passionate kisses from her, where her tongue battles yours in a fight for dominance.

L- Little ones (How are they around children?)

Kim can be very nervous around kids as she has seen so many of them hurt in her line of work, and she knows that she can seem very harsh and bitchy, which causes her to care a lot about what the kids think of her. 

M- Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Your mornings usually result in you waking up to the scent of fresh coffee surging through the air in the apartment, invading your nostrils, then your beautiful girlfriend walking into the bedroom to greet you with a kiss and a cuddle before she leaves for work, usually at an ungodly hour.

N- Nights (How are nights spent with them?)

A lot of the time, your nights consist of you ordering a take out before Kim arrives home from work, two glasses of her favourite wine sat on the table. After your food, you both enjoy a shower or even sometimes a bath, enjoying the time that you can finally spend together after her stressful days at work. Then, you both get into bed, holding each other whilst Kim plays with your hair as you talk about your days.

O- Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Kim is actually very fast at opening up to you, wanting you to know everything about her as soon as possible, which makes her feel safer with you and like she can trust you more if you know a lot about her. She doesn’t tell you everything at once though, she likes to give you a little at a time, therefore she still has a little bit of mystery remaining.

P- Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Kim is usually very calm and placid in many situations aside from work sometimes. However, there have been a few times that her anger has gotten the best of her, mostly when creepy dudes at bars have made flirty comments at you, or hateful comments towards your relationship with her.

Q- Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Kim is mostly good at remembering little facts about you that you have told her, and makes sure to remember things that you like by writing on sticky notes or creating a note in her phone of all the gift ideas that she has got from the information that you have given you.

R- Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

Her favourite moment of your relationship is your third date. You had been seeing each other for 2 months, however her jobs didn’t allow much free time for her to plan dates with her. You went for a meal at a fancy little Italian place not far from her apartment. You had your food and a few glasses of wine each, when she finally offered for you to go home with her. You gratefully accepted her offer, catching a cab back to her apartment, where you made fun of the mess that occupied many areas of her home. She led you to the bedroom, where she showed you how much she liked you for the first time. That night was the time she asked you to be her girlfriend, to which you obviously agreed to. 

S- Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

She’s not always the most physically protective, however she is more verbally protective, standing up for you if someone says anything wrong to you. She likes to be physically protected by you however, because she is very capable of holding her own when it comes to verbally defending herself from others. She likes when you wrap your arm around her waist possessively, reminding her that you are there with her and she isn’t alone, as well as when you grab her hands, rubbing your thumb across her knuckles to soothe her.

T- Try (How much effort would they put into dates, gifts, anniversaries, and everyday tasks?)

Kim loves to go all out on dates, coming up with creative little date ideas, such as picnics and beach dates. She loves to make sure that you have an amazing time, and do something that is outside of the usual date idea box. She is the best at giving gifts as she listens to all the things you say you would like to get yourself, but never actually get around to doing.

U- Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

A bad habit of Kim’s is the occasional cigarette that she smokes after a particularly stressful case, which makes her smell of the invasive smoke that lingers within the fibres of her clothing. Despite that, you can’t deny she looks incredibly hot when she smokes one, which annoys you the most.

V- Varsity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Kim always makes sure that her appearance is up to par with the reputation she holds, making sure that she looks absolutely flawless in your eyes, which makes her love her feeling of your gaze on her body as she gets dressed, your eyes raking up and down her body, drinking her in.

W- Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Kim would most definitely feel incomplete without you in her life. She loves you so much and couldn’t think of living the rest of her life with anybody other than you.

X- Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

As well as being a good cook, Kim is also a very talented baker and she loves to make her legendary chocolate chip cookies for you when you are ill or run-down.

Y- Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Kim hates liars and cheaters, which is her biggest turn off. She wants a partner that she can believe in and trust with her secrets and her whole life honestly, which is something that she found in you.

Z- Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Kim can never sleep without something covering her up at night, such as the duvet in the winter or a thin blanket in the summer.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Worth

Hi! If you're still accepting asks I'd love it if you would write a Merlin fic! I love all of your writing, but I've been missing your Merlin fics recently! Whatever you want to write is fine, though I humbly request lots of h/c :) – anon

Hi!!! :D I've been reading your Merlin fics for a while now, and I absolutely ❤️LOVE❤️ them all, especially the ones about Leon (he's my FAVOURITE). If you are still taking requests, I was wondering if you could write something about Leon feeling left out or not quite apart of the group during training one morning and how that would affect him mentally. I feel he'd either hide himself away in work so no-one would notice (because he feels like he would just be a burden), but I'd love to see what you think would happen. I was also thinking that one of the Knights (maybe Gwaine? 🙏❤️) could notice and try and help Leon. Maybe begin to bring him out of his shell. Thank you, and I hope you have a great day. :D ❤️ – IntenseDreamer1

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none

Pairings: leon/gwaine

Word Count: 3947

It is not uncommon for the Knights of the Round Table to have their own separate training days, nor is it uncommon for Leon to notice his...distance from the rest of them. It starts to grate on him after a while. Gwaine has something to say about that.

It is not uncommon for the Knights of the Round Table to have their own separate training days. Typically the days for the rest of the knights are spent going over fundamentals, things that are useful for fighting in larger-scale battles or at the very least, in much larger groups. Ones that will have different members, ones that are subject to change more regularly, or even ones that will play to their various strengths and weaknesses as knights and warriors of Camelot. Common too are the days for the newly-minted squires, where they are taken under the wing of a supervising knight to learn the basics of swordsmanship and how to maneuver in a suit of armor for the first time.

But for them, they are a unit. They work together, more often that not, and form the iron fist around the King himself when he goes out on patrol, or on a hunt, or even inside the walls of the castle if the need arises. As such, they must work on developing their skills in conjunction with one another, how to determine each other's needs in the heat of battle while holding their own. They are a single cohesive warrior in these moments and they must be able to trust each other as such. There is no place for rifts between them, nothing that must stand between them as brothers or as men. They work together, they fight together, they stand together.

At least, Leon likes to think so.

He is not unaware of his station, as the last of Uther's knights among the King's inner circle, and as the only noble-born knight who accepts his status. (Gwaine is another matter: noble-born yet would happily pretend for the rest of his life that he wasn't.) He has an unconventional relationship with the King; there are a few council members who would happily see him dismissed as a knight for how close he is with Arthur, several more who would have him join their ranks permanently as would be fitting for someone more like an older brother than a knight of Camelot. And further still, he is aware that his presence typically means an end to some of the joking and jesting. He's been lamented as the end of all fun things more than once, especially where Gwaine and Percival are concerned.

So, when he arrives to the field precisely on time—if anything, he is a few minutes early—and spies the others already training, he simply blinks and readies himself to join them. A moment later, however, Arthur spots him and the jovial grin on his face fades to something almost like a grimace, before his courtly manners settle in place and he gives him a deep nod.

"Leon. Good of you to join us this morning."

"My apologies for my tardiness, sire," he says with a slight bow, "I didn't realize the time had shifted."

"You've nothing to apologize for, we've not done anything important yet." Over his shoulder, Elyan snickers and Lancelot steps on his foot to shut him up. "We're to train with staff and mace today, does that suit you?"

"Perfectly." Though as he slides his glance to Merlin, who is most definitely not outfitted with the proper padding or armor to be their training dummy, he hesitates before picking up the staff. "Are we sparring with each other?"

Arthur gives him a curious look. "Well, I'd hardly expect Merlin to be much use."

The others chuckle and Merlin rolls his eyes. "The day you lot can make it through a whole day without hitting yourselves in the head trying to do some stupid trick with them, then I'll believe you actually know what you're doing."

"It's not as easy as it looks, you know."

"It doesn't look easy at all."

"Well," Arthur mutters, "what would you know?"

Merlin narrows his eyes as Arthur turns his back and a moment later, a staff mysteriously ends up right in front of where Arthur needs to walk, which means he gets clocked in the ribs. The knights snicker as Arthur lets out a grunt and Leon rolls his eyes fondly. He's long since passed the time of worrying about Merlin's magic bringing harm to Camelot, but he does wish the man would be a little more discreet about it in front of everyone else.

(He'd brought the others in for a quick word in the armory once he overheard them talking about it and informed them none-too-kindly about what their fates would be if they dared speak out against Merlin. He was quickly reassured that not only would they never dream of doing such a thing, they would be happy to join him in 'educating' anyone else who would be so misguided as to view Merlin as a threat.)

"Pair up," Arthur says, drawing his attention back to the present moment, "let's try a few of the warm-up drills."

Percival and Elyan turn to each other, each settling into a ready stance. Gwaine affectionately ruffles Lancelot's hair a few times until Lancelot shoves him away with the butt of the staff and he laughs. Leon adjusts his own grip, ready for Arthur to square off against him, but Arthur isn't even looking at him. Instead, the King walks away, commenting on Percival's form, hitting Gwaine on the leg to get him to actually wise up and focus, leaning against the table where Merlin's cleaning the maces to watch and observe. Leon stands there for a moment. Was…was he supposed to do something different? The instruction had been to pair up, and the others had done so—he must not have realized that Arthur didn't intend to take part in this first drill.

Instead, he draws the staff closer to himself, switching seamlessly into another form. There is always room to improve his footwork—these past few times they've been on hunts, the uneven terrain has led to more close calls than he would prefer. He shifts his weight back and forth, feeling the way the staff moves in his hands. He stops to correct himself a few times, running the same turn back and over again until he can move fluidly from it into another thrust without faltering.

"Didn't realize this was dance practice."

He pauses, looking over. The others have stopped what they're doing, watching him. Gwaine's grinning widely and he can spot the others trying and failing to hide smiles behind their hands. He is far too experienced of a knight to let the shame burn on his face, so he tucks the staff to his side and shrugs.

"We're an odd number if Arthur's not participating. I figured I would practice my footwork."

"Hoping to catch the eye of some fair courtesan?" Gwaine punches him on the shoulder. "You been holding out on us?"

"I doubt there's a person in all of Camelot you've not tried your charms on," Elyan says, and Percival snorts.

"Why limit it to just Camelot?"

"Alright," Arthur says, putting an end to the teasing for the moment, "Leon's right. We should be working on our footwork as well. The last thing we need is to trip and impale ourselves on our own swords."

Gwaine groans, shooting a glare at Leon as he gets into position. The others make similar mutters of discontent as they start running through the drill Leon was just doing. He tries to ignore them and keep working at his own pace, but he can feel their eyes on him now and he can't help glancing over to see how they're doing. He should know better, should be better: how many years has he spent on this field, learning that the only performance he should be focusing on is his own? And yet—

"Sod this," Elyan mutters a few moments later, "I'm going stiff just standing here. Let's try a bout. No better way to learn than on your feet."

Arthur quirks an eyebrow but nods, immediately getting into position. Leon and the others quickly move out of the way. Something tugs at his chest as he watches them spar—would Arthur have practiced the first drill with him if he had asked?

He shakes it off almost immediately. It isn't his place to ask, the King had his own idea of what the training should be, and as such, it was their duty to carry it out. If the King had decided he wasn't going to do the warm-up drill, then Leon would not ask if he would do it with him. He was not a squire, he was more than capable of determining something useful to do.

Still, the feeling lingers as Arthur spars with each of the others before he gets to him, and even then, Arthur looks surprised when Leon steps into position.

"Ready, sire."

Arthur adjusts his grip and sets his jaw. He raises the staff and they're off, moving about each other as the clacking wood fills the field. The drill is working; he can feel his turns becoming more fluid, able to keep his gaze on Arthur instead of checking where his body is in space. They move faster, faster, until Arthur accidentally overextends on a swing and he ducks under it, planting his weight and shoving Arthur off his feet.

The King hits the ground with a thud and a grunt, and Leon's immediately offering his hand. Arthur takes it and—

He blinks. Surely…surely Arthur did not mean to scowl at him so. He helps the King to his feet and waits for something—a compliment, a critique, anything, but the King hardly looks at him a second time. Instead, he shakes himself off and puts the staff down.

"Maces, then?"

"Oh, thank God," Gwaine grumbles, "something actually worth fighting with."

Something is amiss, Leon thinks as he continues to train just on the periphery of the others. He is never forcibly excluded, nor do the others openly speak badly about him, but there is something there. A resentment, maybe? A grudge? A grating feeling against his armor that leaves him confused and off-guard. He does his best to push it away, leave it behind for when the weapons have been laid down, but he can't.

"That's enough for today," Arthur says when the sun is high in the sky, "who's hungry?"

"Me," Gwaine says, to none of their surprise, leading the way back inside, "let's see if Cook's lifted her ban from the kitchens, eh?"

"Don't hold your breath."

Leon lingers for a moment, helping Merlin take everything to the armory to be cleaned. He sets the maces down on the table and reaches for the rags.

"You don't have to do that," Merlin says, stilling him, "I can do it."

"There are the weapons of six men here, let me give you a hand, please?"

"Don't you want to go eat?"

He chuckles. "With Gwaine's appetite, I'll have to wait for a second round of food to be made anyways. Let me at least do something useful while I wait."

"Suit yourself."

They work in the quiet for a while, Leon shedding a few of the heavier pieces of armor to give himself greater dexterity. Merlin hums under his breath as he cleans the staff, setting it up on the rack to dry. They talk about how the preparations for the feast are coming, how Gwen and Elyan have seen greater success with the forge since a new delivery came in, and which servants are 'cleaning' the knights' quarters late at night. Leon does his best not to get too swept up in the castle gossip, but there is something about the way Merlin tells the most outrageous stories with a straight face that he can't quite ignore.

"But enough about all that," he says, not a few moments after regaling a fascinating story about bedsheets, a wagon, and a runaway horse, "what's wrong with you?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Merlin bumps his shoulder. "Outside, today. Something was wrong. What was it?"

Leon sighs. "Nothing, truly—"

"Don't believe that for a second."

"No, it's only that I was caught off-guard by the training. It's nothing for you to worry about."

Merlin stops, setting down his polishing rag and narrowing his eyes at Leon. "You and I both know that telling me not to worry about something is a guarantee that I will."

"I would never make such an accusation."

"Like you're not the same."

"I've got no idea what you're talking about," he says with a smile just to watch Merlin roll his eyes. "I'm sure you have enough to trouble yourself with, I wouldn't dream of—"

"That's what I said last time and you held me captive until I told you."

"I didn't hold you captive, Merlin."

"You sat on the edge of my bed and propped your sword up underneath the door knob to keep people from coming in."

"To ensure your privacy, of course." Now Merlin does properly glare at him and he relents, shaking his head and looking back at his work. "I…I feel foolish about it, but I fear I've behaved as a jealous squire today and I'm not sure what possessed me to do so."

"How so?"

"Oh, it's—" the closer he gets to saying it out loud, the worse it sounds to his own ears— "I did not have a partner for the first exercise, and when I practiced the drill, the others seemed to resent me for it. But that's ridiculous, I know—"

Something prods his side and he stops, looking over at Merlin. Merlin holds the blunt end of a scraper toward him, poised to poke him again. He raises his eyebrows.

Ah, yes, he recognizes what this is. Once, when Merlin had been upset and insistent that it wasn't anything to worry about, that it was his fault and his fault alone, Leon had said that for every unkind thing Merlin said about himself, he would poke him. He sighs, setting down the mace.

"I feel as though I have done something to upset them," he says quietly, "and I do not know what."

"I'll ask Arthur."

"Please, do not feel the need to—" Merlin brandishes the scraper and he raises his hands in surrender— "I only wish to say that you don't have to—alright, alright, you've made your point."

Merlin prods him twice more for good measure and knocks their shoulders together. "I'll figure out what's going on."

Never let it be said that Merlin is not determined when he sets his mind to something, for it is scarcely a full day before there's a knock on the door to his chambers. When he opens the door, Gwaine all but blusters his way in, holding a cask of wine and a bag of something sweet-smelling.

"Gwaine?"

"You're upset," the knight says unceremoniously, "I'm here to help. I brought your favorite."

Despite himself, Leon drifts towards the table as Gwaine opens the bag. His eyes widen when he sees the spiced pastries from the sweet girl down in the city, still steaming. He eyes the wine and it isn't too hard to determine that one, Gwaine knows his favorite wine, two, that he was able to get his favorite wine, and three, that he doesn't intend to leave without making Leon drink at least a goblet.

"What is this for?" Gwaine kicks out a chair and he sits, reaching for one of the pastries. It tastes wonderful, so much so that he has to close his eyes for a moment. "Forgive me."

"Nothing to forgive." There's a hand on his shoulder. "You looked as though you needed to be cheered up."

"That obvious, was it?"

"Merlin kicking our arses into gear helped too." He opens his eyes to see Gwaine watching him with obvious concern. He moves his chair a little closer, pushing the pastries toward Leon. "He said you were upset about something that happened this morning, would you tell me what?"

Leon sighs, putting the half-eaten pastry down on the bag. He pinches the bridge of his nose. The warmth of Gwaine's hand, the gentleness of the question, it's enough to undo the worst of the knot in his chest, but not all of it.

"Have I done something to upset the rest of you?"

Gwaine draws back in alarm. "Upset us? No, absolutely not, what makes you think so?"

"None of you wanted to train with me this morning. And when I was doing the footwork drill—you seemed upset that Arthur made you all follow me."

"Upset for—God, Leon, no," Gwaine says, and now there's a hand on each of his shoulders, "do you know what you look like when you train?"

He frowns. "What I look like?"

"I wasn't joking when I said it was like dancing, Leon, you—" Gwaine huffs, and Leon had never believed that Gwaine of all people could look flustered, but here they are— "watching you train is incredible, alright? And the others will never let me live it down if they hear that I've told you that, but—"

"Wait." Leon puts a hand over Gwaine's. "You…so you weren't angry? Or thought that I was trying to…order you about, or something?"

"You know the reason Princess doesn't like sparring with you is because you'll either take it easy on him, which he hates, or easily beat him, which he also hates?"

"Arthur is a fine and accomplished warrior."

"True, but you're better than him at almost everything and you don't even have the decency to be smug about it."

"What?"

Gwaine fixes him with a look. "Do you have any idea how bloody frustrating it is to be beaten soundly by a handsome bastard who's kind to you about it?"

"I don't—what do you mean, 'handsome?'"

"Oh, you have got to be taking the piss," Gwaine grumbles, scrubbing a hand over his face and muttering something that sounds like damn you, Merlin, before looking back at him. "You know you're handsome, don't you?"

He knows that there are plenty of courtesans and squires who stare at him when he walks by. He knows his status as First Knight is one of the few things keeping him from being inundated with marriage proposals. He knows he takes a certain amount of pride in his appearance. But Gwaine, Gwaine describing him as handsome without a trace of tease or flirt in his voice?

"Bloody hell, you don't, do you?" Gwaine sits back. "You really walk around like that and don't know how attractive you are."

"I hardly see what that has to do with—"

"You're an incredible knight, Leon," he interrupts, hand still firmly on his shoulder, "you're a brilliant fighter and an even kinder man. You're…damn it, you're the type of noble I wouldn't mind being if I decided I wanted to be one, alright? We weren't angry at you, we're not upset with you—well, I might be a little upset that you don't know how much of a handsome bastard you are, but that's not entirely your fault."

Leon blinks. Then he blinks again. "You…"

Gwaine raises his eyebrows. "Me?"

"How can you say that I'm attractive when you're—when you—" he pinches the bridge of his nose again.

He hears Gwaine chuckle low in his throat and braces himself. "You think I'm handsome too, don't you?"

"I hardly think it needs repeating out loud."

"Maybe so, but it's nice to hear." A hand comes up to nudge his away from his face and he looks at Gwaine, smile softened now. "You at least sure that we're not upset with you now?"

He swallows the lump in his throat and nods sharply. He can smell the slight spice coming from Gwaine and the allure of the wine still in the cask. Gwaine must see his gaze dart to it, for he leans back, reaching for a goblet and filling it.

"Here," he says, holding it out, and when Leon eyes it warily, he chuckles again. "Want me to check if it's poisoned?"

"I don't think it's…"

He trails off when Gwaine raises the goblet to his lips, taking a sip, holding his gaze. A low hum leaves his chest and he holds it out again.

"No poison."

"What," Leon asks weakly, "are you doing?"

"I'm here to help you feel better since our dear Merlin let us know you're feeling upset." He puts down the goblet, never breaking his gaze. "Aside from that, well, I'm flirting with you."

A sharp bark of laughter echoes around the room. "This isn't how you flirt. You—you flirt with brazen comments and crude jokes. You don't do whatever this is."

Gwaine hums, hand returning to his shoulder. "And what is 'this?' Do you mean this—" and he indicates the wine and pastries— "or this?"

The hand slides up to cradle Leon's cheek and this time he has no defense. The red heat blooms along the side of his face and Gwaine's eyes widen. He sets his jaw, waiting for the teasing to come, but it doesn't; Gwaine simply brushes his hair out of his face and tilts his head.

"You didn't exactly respond to that method of flirting, now, did you? Can't fault a man for trying something different. Besides," and here he slides the wine closer, "now that I know you think me handsome, perhaps I'm trying my luck."

"I'm no good at this," Leon blurts out. Gwaine barely flinches.

"At what?" Leon silently gestures around. "Well, I think that's fair—if you were good at this and as skilled a knight as you are, I doubt there'd be anything left for the rest of us."

Never has Leon felt this out of his element, nor is he immediately inclined to put an end to it. Still, he flounders, and something in Gwaine gentles.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" He shakes his head. "Will you drink some of the wine, then? You look parched."

With a trembling hand, he reaches for the goblet. The wine is a relief and a new challenge all at once, settling heavily over his tongue. Gwaine's gaze rests on his face as he swallows, setting it back down.

"Good?"

"Very." He tests the words on his tongue before speaking them. "You seem like you're good at…this."

"I've had my fair share of practice, yes."

"Would you…teach me?"

A slow smile spreads across Gwaine's face and he leans in close. "It would be my honor."

[andymakesgames]

Balatro-Inspired Spinning Card Tweetcart Breakdown

I recently made a tweetcart of a spinning playing card inspired by finally playing Balatro, the poker roguelike everybody is talking about.

If you don't know what a tweetcart is, it's a type of size-coding where people write programs for the Pico-8 fantasy console where the source code is 280 characters of less, the length of a tweet.

I'm actually not on twitter any more, but I still like 280 characters as a limitation. I posted it on my mastodon and my tumblr.

Here's the tweetcart I'm writing about today:

And here is the full 279 byte source code for this animation:

a=abs::_::cls()e=t()for r=0,46do for p=0,1,.025do j=sin(e)*20k=cos(e)*5f=1-p h=a(17-p*34)v=a(23-r)c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6u=(r-1)/80z=a(p-.2)if(e%1<.5)c=a(r-5)<5and z<u+.03and(r==5or z>u)and 8or 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2 g=r+39pset((64+j)*p+(64-j)*f,(g+k)*p+(g-k)*f,c)end end flip()goto _

This post is available with much nicer formatting on the EMMA blog. You can read it here.

You can copy/paste that code into a blank Pico-8 file to try it yourself. I wrote it on Pico-8 version 0.2.6b.

I'm very pleased with this cart! From a strictly technical perspective I think it's my favorite that I've ever made. There is quite a bit going on to make the fake 3D as well as the design on the front and back of the card. In this post I'll be making the source code more readable as well as explaining some tools that are useful if you are making your own tweetcarts or just want some tricks for game dev and algorithmic art.

Expanding the Code

Tweetcarts tend to look completely impenetrable, but they are often less complex than they seem. The first thing to do when breaking down a tweetcart (which I highly recommend doing!) is to just add carriage returns after each command.

Removing these line breaks is a classic tweetcart method to save characters. Lua, the language used in Pico-8, often does not need a new line if a command does not end in a letter, so we can just remove them. Great for saving space, bad for readability. Here's that same code with some line breaks, spaces and indentation added:

a=abs ::_:: cls() e=t() for r=0,46 do for p=0,1,.025 do j=sin(e)*20 k=cos(e)*5 f=1-p h=a(17-p*34) v=a(23-r) c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6 u=(r-1)/80 z=a(p-.2) if(e%1<.5) c= a(r-5) < 5 and z < u+.03 and (r==5 or z>u) and 8 or 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2 g=r+39 pset((64+j)*p+(64-j)*f,(g+k)*p+(g-k)*f,c) end end flip()goto _

Note: the card is 40 pixels wide and 46 pixels tall. Those number will come up a lot. As will 20 (half of 40) and 23 (half of 46).

Full Code with Variables and Comments

Finally, before I get into what each section is doing, here is an annotated version of the same code. In this code, variables have real names and I added comments:

[editor's note. this one came out terribly on tumblr. Please read the post on my other blog to see it]

This may be all you need to get a sense of how I made this animation, but the rest of this post will be looking at how each section of the code contributes to the final effect. Part of why I wanted to write this post is because I was happy with how many different tools I managed to use in such a small space.

flip() goto_

This pattern shows up in nearly every tweetcart:

::_:: MOST OF THE CODE flip()goto _

This has been written about in Pixienop's Tweetcart Basics which I highly recommend for anybody curious about the medium! The quick version is that using goto is shorter than declaring the full draw function that Pico-8 carts usually use.

Two Spinning Points

The card is drawn in rows starting from the top and going to the bottom. Each of these lines is defined by two points that move around a center point in an elliptical orbit.

The center of the top of the card is x=64 (dead center) and y=39 (a sort of arbitrary number that looked nice).

Then I get the distance away from that center that my two points will be using trigonometry.

x_dist = sin(time)*20 y_dist = cos(time)*5

Here are those points:

P1 adds x_dist and y_dist to the center point and P2 subtracts those same values.

Those are just the points for the very top row. The outer for loop is the vertical rows. The center x position will be the same each time, but the y position increases with each row like this: y_pos = row+39

Here's how it looks when I draw every 3rd row going down:

It is worth noting that Pico-8 handles sin() and cos() differently than most languages. Usually the input values for these functions are in radians (0 to two pi), but in Pico-8 it goes from 0 to 1. More info on that here. It takes a little getting used to but it is actually very handy. More info in a minute on why I like values between 0 and 1.

Time

In the shorter code, e is my time variable. I tend to use e for this. In my mind it stands for "elapsed time". In Pico-8 time() returns the current elapsed time in seconds. However, there is a shorter version, t(), which obviously is better for tweetcarts. But because I use the time value a lot, even the 3 characters for t() is often too much, so I store it in the single-letter variable e.

Because it is being used in sine and cosine for this tweetcart, every time e reaches 1, we've reached the end of a cycle. I would have liked to use t()/2 to slow this cart down to be a 2 second animation, but after a lot of fiddling I wound up being one character short. So it goes.

e is used in several places in the code, both to control the angle of the points and to determine which side of the card is facing the camera.

Here you can see how the sine value of e controls the rotation and how we go from showing the front of the card to showing the back when e%1 crosses the threshold of 0.5.

Drawing and Distorting the Lines

Near the top and bottom of the loop we'll find the code that determines the shape of the card and draws the horizontal lines that make up the card. Here is the loop for drawing a single individual line using the code with expanded variable names:

for prc = 0,1,.025 do x_dist = sin(time)*20 y_dist = cos(time)*5 ... y_pos = row+39 pset( (64+x_dist)*prc + (64-x_dist)*(1-prc), (y_pos+y_dist)*prc + (y_pos-y_dist)*(1-prc), color) end

You might notice that I don't use Pico-8's line function! That's because each line is drawn pixel by pixel.

This tweetcart simulates a 3D object by treating each vertical row of the card as a line of pixels. I generate the points on either side of the card(p1 and p2 in this gif), and then interpolate between those two points. That's why the inner for loop creates a percentage from 0 to 1 instead of pixel positions. The entire card is drawn as individual pixels. I draw them in a line, but the color may change with each one, so they each get their own pset() call.

Here's a gif where I slow down this process to give you a peek at how these lines are being drawn every frame. For each row, I draw many pixels moving across the card between the two endpoints in the row.

Here's the loop condition again: for prc = 0,1,.025 do

A step of 0.025 means there are 40 steps (0.025 * 40 = 1.0). That's the exact width of the card! When the card is completely facing the camera head-on, I will need 40 steps to make it across without leaving a gap in the pixels. When the card is skinnier, I'm still drawing all 40 pixels, but many of them will be in the same place. That's fine. The most recently drawn one will take priority.

Getting the actual X and Y position

I said that the position of each pixel is interpolated between the two points, but this line of code may be confusing:

y_pos = row+39 pset( (64+x_dist)*prc + (64-x_dist)*(1-prc), (y_pos+y_dist)*prc + (y_pos-y_dist)*(1-prc), color)

So let's unpack it a little bit. If you've ever used a Lerp() function in something like Unity you've used this sort of math. The idea is that we get two values (P1 and P2 in the above example), and we move between them such that a value of 0.0 gives us P1 and 1.0 gives us P2.

Here's a full cart that breaks down exactly what this math is doing:

::_:: cls() time = t()/8 for row = 0,46 do for prc = 0,1,.025 do x_dist = sin(time)*20 y_dist = cos(time)*5 color = 9 + row % 3 p1x = 64 + x_dist p1y = row+39 + y_dist p2x = 64 - x_dist p2y = row+39 - y_dist x = p2x*prc + p1x*(1-prc) y = p2y*prc + p1y*(1-prc) pset( x, y, color) end end flip()goto _

I'm defining P1 and P2 very explicitly (getting an x and y for both), then I get the actual x and y position that I use by multiplying P2 by prc and P1 by (1-prc) and adding the results together.

This is easiest to understand when prc is 0.5, because then we're just taking an average. In school we learn that to average a set of numbers you add them up and then divide by how many you had. We can think of that as (p1+p2) / 2. This is the same as saying p1*0.5 + p2*0.5.

But the second way of writing it lets us take a weighted average if we want. We could say p1*0.75 + p2*0.25. Now the resulting value will be 75% of p1 and 25% of p2. If you laid the two values out on a number line, the result would be just 25% of the way to p2. As long as the two values being multiplied add up to exactly 1.0 you will get a weighted average between P1 and P2.

I can count on prc being a value between 0 and 1, so the inverse is 1.0 - prc. If prc is 0.8 then 1.0-prc is 0.2. Together they add up to 1!

I use this math everywhere in my work. It's a really easy way to move smoothly between values that might otherwise be tricky to work with.

Compressing

I'm using a little over 400 characters in the above example. But in the real cart, the relevant code inside the loops is this:

j=sin(e)*20 k=cos(e)*5 g=r+39 pset((64+j)*p+(64-j)*f,(g+k)*p+(g-k)*f,c)

which can be further condensed by removing the line breaks:

j=sin(e)*20k=cos(e)*5g=r+39pset((64+j)*p+(64-j)*f,(g+k)*p+(g-k)*f,c)

Because P1, P2 and the resulting interpolated positions x and y are never used again, there is no reason to waste chars by storing them in variables. So all of the interpolation is done in the call to pset().

There are a few parts of the calculation that are used more than once and are four characters or more. Those are stored as variables (j, k & g in this code). These variables tend to have the least helpful names because I usually do them right at the end to save a few chars so they wind up with whatever letters I have not used elsewhere.

Spinning & Drawing

Here's that same example, but with a checker pattern and the card spinning. (Keep in mind, in the real tweetcart the card is fully draw every frame and would not spin mid-draw)

This technique allows me to distort the lines because I can specify two points and draw my lines between them. Great for fake 3D! Kind of annoying for actually drawing shapes, because now instead of using the normal Pico-8 drawing tools, I have to calculate the color I want based on the row (a whole number between0 and 46) and the x-prc (a float between 0 and 1).

Drawing the Back

Here's the code that handles drawing the back of the card:

h=a(17-p*34) v=a(23-r) c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6

This is inside the nested for loops, so r is the row and p is a percentage of the way across the horizontal line.

c is the color that we will eventually draw in pset().

h and v are the approximate distance from the center of the card. a was previously assigned as a shorthand for abs() so you can think of those lines like this:

h=abs(17-p*34) v=abs(23-r)

v is the vertical distance. The card is 46 pixels tall so taking the absolute value of 23-r will give us the distance from the vertical center of the card. (ex: if r is 25, abs(23-r) = 2. and if r is 21, abs(23-r) still equals 2 )

As you can probably guess, h is the horizontal distance from the center. The card is 40 pixels wide, but I opted to shrink it a bit by multiplying p by 34 and subtracting that from half of 34 (17). The cardback just looks better with these lower values, and the diamond looks fine.

The next line, where I define c, is where things get confusing. It's a long line doing some clunky math. The critical thing is that when this line is done, I need c to equal 1 (dark blue) or 7 (white) on the Pico-8 color pallette.

Here's the whole thing: c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6

Here is that line broken down into much more discrete steps.

c = 1 --start with a color of 1 low_dist = min(23-v,17-h) --get the lower inverted distance from center val = low_dist % 5 --mod 5 to bring it to a repeating range of 0 to 5 val = val / 3 --divide by 3. value is now 0 to 1.66 val = flr(val) --round it down. value is now 0 or 1 val = val * 6 --multiply by 6. value is now 0 or 6 c += val --add value to c, making it 1 or 7

The first thing I do is c=1. That means the entire rest of the line will either add 0 or 6 (bumping the value up to 7). No other outcome is acceptable. min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6 will always evaluate to 0 or 6.

I only want the lower value of h and v. This is what will give it the nice box shape. If you color the points inside a rectangle so that ones that are closer to the center on their X are one color and ones that are closer to the center on their Y are a different color you'll get a pattern with clean diagonal lines running from the center towards the corners like this:

You might think I would just use min(v,h) instead of the longer min(23-v,17-h) in the actual code. I would love to do that, but it results in a pattern that is cool, but doesn't really look like a card back.

I take the inverted value. Instead of having a v that runs from 0 to 23, I flip it so it runs from 23 to 0. I do the same for h. I take the lower of those two values using min().

Then I use modulo (%) to bring the value to a repeating range of 0 to 5. Then I divide that result by 3 so it is 0 to ~1.66. The exact value doens't matter too much because I am going round it down anyway. What is critical is that it will become 0 or 1 after rounding because then I can multiply it by a specific number without getting any values in between.

Wait? If I'm rounding down, where is flr() in this line: c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6?

It's not there! That's because there is a sneaky tool in Pico-8. You can use \1 to do the same thing as flr(). This is integer division and it generally saves a 3 characters.

Finally, I multiply the result by 6. If it is 0, we get 0. If it is 1 we get 6. Add it to 1 and we get the color we want!

Here's how it looks with each step in that process turned on or off:

A Note About Parentheses

When I write tweetcarts I would typically start by writing this type of line like this: c=1+ (((min(23-v,17-h)%5)/3) \1) *6

This way I can figure out if my math makes sense by using parentheses to ensure that my order of operations works. But then I just start deleting them willy nilly to see what I can get away with. Sometimes I'm surprised and I'm able to shave off 2 characters by removing a set of parentheses.

The Face Side

The face side with the diamond and the "A" is a little more complex, but basically works the same way as the back. Each pixel needs to either be white (7) or red (8). When the card is on this side, I'll be overwriting the c value that got defined earlier.

Here's the code that does it (with added white space). This uses the h and v values defined earlier as well as the r and p values from the nested loops.

u=(r-1)/80 z=a(p-.2) if(e%1<.5) c= a(r-5) < 5 and z < u+.03 and (r==5 or z>u) and 8 or 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2

Before we piece out what this is doing, we need to talk about the structure for conditional logic in tweetcarts.

The Problem with If Statements

The lone line with the if statement is doing a lot of conditional logic in a very cumbersome way designed to avoid writing out a full if statement.

One of the tricky things with Pico-8 tweetcarts is that the loop and conditional logic of Lua is very character intensive. While most programming language might write an if statement like this:

if (SOMETHING){ CODE }

Lua does it like this:

if SOMETHING then CODE end

Using "then" and "end" instead of brackets means we often want to bend over backwards to avoid them when we're trying to save characters.

Luckily, Lua lets you drop "then" and "end" if there is a single command being executed inside the if.

This means we can write

if(e%1 < 0.5) c=5

instead of

if e%1 < 0.5 then c=5 end

This is a huge savings! To take advantage of this, it is often worth doing something in a slightly (or massively) convoluted way if it means we can reduce it to a single line inside the if. This brings us to:

Lua's Weird Ternary Operator

In most programming language there is an inline syntax to return one of two values based on a conditional. It's called the Ternary Operator and in most languages I use it looks like this:

myVar = a>b ? 5 : 10

The value of myVar will be 5 if a is greater than b. Otherwise is will be 10.

Lua has a ternary operator... sort of. You can read more about it here but it looks something like this:

myVar = a>b and 5 or 10

Frankly, I don't understand why this works, but I can confirm that it does.

In this specific instance, I am essentially using it to put another conditional inside my if statement, but by doing it as a single line ternary operation, I'm keeping the whole thing to a single line and saving precious chars.

The Face Broken Out

The conditional for the diamond and the A is a mess to look at. The weird syntax for the ternary operator doesn't help. Neither does the fact that I took out any parentheses that could make sense of it.

Here is the same code rewritten with a cleaner logic flow.

--check time to see if we're on the front half if e%1 < .5 then --this if checks if we're in the A u=(r-1)/80 z=a(p-.2) if a(r-5) < 5 and z < u+.03 and (r==5 or z>u) then c = 8 --if we're not in the A, set c based on if we're in the diamond else c = 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2 end end

The first thing being checked is the time. As I explained further up, because the input value for sin() in Pico-8 goes from 0 to 1, the midpoint is 0.5. We only draw the front of the card if e%1 is less than 0.5.

After that, we check if this pixel is inside the A on the corner of the card or the diamond. Either way, our color value c gets set to either 7 (white) or 8 (red).

Let's start with diamond because it is easier.

The Diamond

This uses the same h and v values from the back of the card. The reason I chose diamonds for my suit is that they are very easy to calculate if you know the vertical and horizontal distance from a point! In fact, I sometimes use this diamond shape instead of proper circular hit detection in size-coded games.

Let's look at the line: c = 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2

This starts with 8, the red color. Since the only other acceptable color is 7 (white), tha means that sgn(h+v-9)/2 has to evaluate to either 1 or 0.

sgn() returns the sign of a number, meaning -1 if the number is negative or 1 if the number is positive. This is often a convenient way to cut large values down to easy-to-work-with values based on a threshold. That's exactly what I'm doing here!

h+v-9 takes the height from the center plus the horizontal distance from the center and checks if the sum is greater than 9. If it is, sgn(h+v-9) will return 1, otherwise -1. In this formula, 9 is the size of the diamond. A smaller number would result in a smaller diamond since that's the threshold for the distance being used. (note: h+v is NOT the actual distance. It's an approximation that happens to make a nice diamond shape.)

OK, but adding -1 or 1 to 8 gives us 7 or 9 and I need 7 or 8.

That's where /2 comes in. Pico-8 defaults to floating point math, so dividing by 2 will turn my -1 or 1 into -0.5 or 0.5. So this line c = 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2 actually sets c to 7.5 or 8.5. Pico-8 always rounds down when setting colors so a value of 7.5 becomes 7 and 8.5 becomes 8. And now we have white for most of the card, and red in the space inside the diamond!

The A

The A on the top corner of the card was the last thing I added. I finished the spinning card with the card back and the diamond and realized that when I condensed the whole thing, I actually had about 50 characters to spare. Putting a letter on the ace seemed like an obvious choice. I struggled for an evening trying to make it happen before deciding that I just couldn't do it. The next day I took another crack at it and managed to get it in, although a lot of it is pretty ugly! Luckily, in the final version the card is spinning pretty fast and it is harder to notice how lopsided it is.

I mentioned earlier that my method of placing pixels in a line between points is great for deforming planes, but makes a lot of drawing harder. Here's a great example. Instead of just being able to call print("a") or even using 3 calls to line() I had to make a convoluted conditional to check if each pixel is "inside" the A and set it to red if it is.

I'll do my best to explain this code, but it was hammered together with a lot of trial and error. I kept messing with it until I found an acceptable balance between how it looked and how many character it ate up.

Here are the relevant bits again:

u=(r-1)/80 z=a(p-.2) if a(r-5) < 5 and z < u+.03 and (r==5 or z>u) then c = 8

The two variables above the if are just values that get used multiple times. Let's give them slightly better names. While I'm making edits, I'll expand a too since that was just a replacement for abs().

slope = (r-1)/80 dist_from_center = abs(p-.2) if abs(r-5) < 5 and dist_from_center < slope+.03 and (r==5 or dist_from_center>slope) then c = 8

Remember that r is the current row and p is the percentage of the way between the two sides where this pixel falls.

u/slope here is basically how far from the center line of the A the legs are at this row. As r increases, so does slope (but at a much smaller rate). The top of the A is very close to the center, the bottom is further out. I'm subtracting 1 so that when r is 0, slope is negative and will not be drawn. Without this, the A starts on the very topmost line of the card and looks bad.

z/dist_from_center is how far this particular p value is from the center of the A (not the center of the card), measured in percentage (not pixels). The center of the A is 20% of the way across the card. This side of the card starts on the right (0% is all the way right, 100% is all the way left), which is why you see the A 20% away from the right side of the card.

These values are important because the two legs of the A are basically tiny distance checks where the slope for a given r is compared against the dist_from_center. There are 3 checks used to determine if the pixel is part of the A.

if a(r-5) < 5 and z < u+.03 and (r==5 or z>u) then

The first is abs(r-5) < 5. This checks if r is between 1 and 9, the height of my A.

The second is dist_from_center < slope+.03. This is checking if this pixel's x distance from the center of the A is no more than .03 bigger than the current slope value. This is the maximum distance that will be considered "inside" the A. All of this is a percentage, so the center of the A is 0.20 and the slope value will be larger the further down the A we get.

Because I am checking the distance from the center point (the grey line in the image above), this works on either leg of the A. On either side, the pixel can be less than slope+.03 away.

Finally, it checks (r==5 or dist_from_center>slope). If the row is exactly 5, that is the crossbar across the A and should be red. Otherwise, the distance value must be greater than slope (this is the minimum value it can have to be "inside" the A). This also works on both sides thanks to using distance.

Although I am trying to capture 1-pixel-wide lines to draw the shape of the A, I could not think of a cleaner way than doing this bounding check. Ignoring the crossbar on row 5, you can think about the 2nd and 3rd parts of the if statement essentially making sure that dist_from_center fits between slope and a number slightly larger than slope. Something like this:

slope < dist_from_center < slope+0.03

Putting it Together

All of this logic needed to be on a single line to get away with using the short form of the if statement so it got slammed into a single ternary operator. Then I tried removing parentheses one at a time to see what was structurally significant. I wish I could say I was more thoughtful than that but I wasn't. The end result is this beefy line of code:

if(e%1<.5)c=a(r-5)<5and z<u+.03and(r==5or z>u)and 8or 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2

Once we've checked that e (our time value) is in the phase where we show the face, the ternary operator checks if the pixel is inside the A. If it is, c is set to 8 (red). If it isn't, then we set c = 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2, which is the diamond shape described above.

That's It!

Once we've set c the tweetcart uses pset to draw the pixel as described in the section on drawing the lines.

Here's the full code and what it looks like when it runs again. Hopefully now you can pick out more of what's going on!

a=abs::_::cls()e=t()for r=0,46do for p=0,1,.025do j=sin(e)*20k=cos(e)*5f=1-p h=a(17-p*34)v=a(23-r)c=1+min(23-v,17-h)%5/3\1*6u=(r-1)/80z=a(p-.2)if(e%1<.5)c=a(r-5)<5and z<u+.03and(r==5or z>u)and 8or 8-sgn(h+v-9)/2 g=r+39pset((64+j)*p+(64-j)*f,(g+k)*p+(g-k)*f,c)end end flip()goto _

I hope this was helpful! I had a lot of fun writing this cart and it was fun to break it down. Maybe you can shave off the one additional character needed to slow it down by using e=t()/2 a bit. If you do, please drop me a line on my mastodon or tumblr!

And if you want to try your hand at something like this, consider submitting something to TweetTweetJam which just started! You'll get a luxurious 500 characters to work with!

Links and Resources

There are some very useful posts of tools and tricks for getting into tweetcarts. I'm sure I'm missing many but here are a few that I refer to regularly.

Pixienop's tweetcart basics and tweetcart studies are probably the single best thing to read if you want to learn more.

Trasevol_Dog's Doodle Insights are fascinating, and some of them demonstrate very cool tweetcart techniques.

Optimizing Character Count for Tweetcarts by Eli Piilonen / @2DArray

Guide for Making Tweetcarts by PrincessChooChoo

The official documentation for the hidden P8SCII Control Codes is worth a read. It will let you do wild things like play sound using the print() command.

I have released several size-coded Pico-8 games that have links to heavily annotated code:

Pico-Mace

Cold Sun Surf

1k Jump

Hand Cram

And if you want to read more Pico-8 weirdness from me, I wrote a whole post on creating a networked Pico-8 tribute to Frog Chorus.

[caseyscraftycorner]

KATMAI BEAR PHOTODUMP

y'all i've been camping out on the katmai cams for the last three days preparing for fat bear week, because i am very mentally healthy, thankyouverymuch. Here's the highlights!

910 and her two yearlings -- her daughter and her adopted niece -- have been showing up a lot these last few days. 909jr's got just such a silly haircut. she's the one on the left, 910 & 910jr are the ones sleeping to the right. look at her. it looks like someone took an electric razor to her forehead. i love her.

132 and her cubs also made an appearance! they just all took a nap on shore for a while and then left. 10/10, tbh

402 & her cub showed up for a bit too -- and at one point the cub stood on their hind legs!!!! very very VERY cute. also 402 looking c h u n k y here :D

806jr, the Fat bear junior champion who is now in the main bracket, got separated from his mom for a while and just laid about right next to one of the cameras until she came and got him. he's SO fluffy, you guys.

Amelia, mother of 3, has also been hanging around. The cubs ran ahead and then two of them stood to turn and face momma. made my day.

bucky sure likes just sittin about, huh?

i think i already posted this one but. y'all. look at chunk in this photo. LOOK AT HIM. a perfect creature!!

Holly!! the Marshmallow Queen! this photo i think really shows both a: how big she is and b: how light colored she is. Lightly toasted marshmallow, indeed.

walker, he has such a gentle face. also he's afraid of Grazer (who i haven't seen recently) because she keeps kicking his ass lmao. but here he just looks like a sweet man. a kind lad. a gentle giant.

and that's the best ones i got! if you wanna see the matchups with the contestant's official photos, check out my post here.

[sadkarret]

Log 11: Chemosynthesis

One thing I like most about SpecBio stuff are the science bits, and so b/c I'm quirky like that I've been thinking a lot about sulfur recently (said nobody ever) and how environments (like planets) that have a lot of sulfur would impact the chemical reactions that bacteria n stuff like that'd do, and I found an epic cool thing called hydrogen sulfide based chemosynthesis. If you remember from any science ever, photosynthesis is taking CO₂ + Water + Light Energy to make Glucose and O₂ as a byproduct. H₂S Based chemosynthesis is: H₂S + CO₂ + O₂ -> Glucose with a byproduct of water and a ton of sulfur, which is sick as hell. H₂S comes from hydrothermal vents, which is cool, and a bunch of weird organisms use it. I thought that this was a cool alternative to photosynthesis that not many people (at least this high up on the iceberg) were aware of lmao.

K bye,

sadkarret

[but-first--tea]

B A S I C S

Name: Ferthur Venator

Nicknames: none, unless aliases count. If they do, a lot of them. Notably, her most commonly used aliases for the past couple years have been Omori Kaya and Kasasagi.

Age: adult (I don't like to define characters by specific ages, especially with how wonky the passage of time in RP can be. But logically she's probably in her late twenties or early thirties by now. I created this character 4 years ago.)

Nameday: in game it's the 2nd sun of the 5th umbral moon. I've never RPed it.

Race: well she looks like a xaela

Gender: Female (cis)

Orientation: hetero/demisexual (eternal bonded to Eligos Venator, monogamous)

Profession: "I do what I want" (and try not to get caught). She owns an auction house now, though. That probably counts as an official job! Except it was more like the world's most over-the-top impulse buy while trying to shop for Starlight presents. She's suffering from a case of "asset rich, cash poor" at the moment as a result. That's probably going to suck when she has to pay taxes on the Omori Estate. Oops. Next BBEG: property taxes.

P H Y S I C A L     A S P E C  T S

Hair: White, and rather long. She doesn't wear it in a consistent way, and is instead adept at styling it many different ways to suit the outfit or occasion.

Eyes: Slitted gold

Skin: very fair, which can be a point of frustration for a lizert who would very much like to bask in the sun

Tattoos/scars: For most of her life, the very idea of any sort of permanent identifying feature was anathema to her, a potential threat to her anonymity and survival. However Eligos has slowly begun to erode these fears, and even managed to talk her into getting tattooed. A mixture of dragon scales, geometric patterns, and stylized florals now grace her right shoulder and arm, and curve along part of her hip and leg. So far she's managed to avoid any permanent scars, mostly by pulling a vanishing act when things get out of hand.

F A M I L Y

Parents: She was raised by a Doman shinobi named Harue, who told her that her father was a samurai who had perished fighting a voidsent. Unbeknownst to Ferthur, neither of these people are her birth parents. Harue is now recently deceased, and thus unable to tell her the truth of her origin.

Siblings: None that she knows of.

Grandparents: Harue's mother taught Ferthur her foundation in the arcane arts when the girl began to show an aptitude for them that Harue herself never had. Her grandmother passed away when Ferthur was a teen, leaving her to continue her arcane studies on her own. The lack of guidance went about as well as one might expect.

In-laws and Other: Eligos's parents are still alive, but they do not know Eligos is still alive, and so Ferthur has never met them.

Pets: None

S K I L L S

Abilities: Ferthur was raised by her shinobi mother, and thus was instructed in the shinobi arts from early childhood on. As she grew older, her affinity for the arcane began to show, and her focus quickly shifted to the arcane arts. Her obsession with magic brought her to some very dark places, however, and lately she has fallen back to her roots, relying mostly on the teachings of her mother to survive.

Hobbies: Dance, collecting clothing, theft and general mischief.

T R A I T S

Most Positive Trait: Highly adaptable and quick thinking on her feet, very protective of the self agency of others

Most Negative Trait: Obsessive and prone to spite beyond reason when something upsets her

L I K E S

Colors: Yes. Though to wear she prefers black and white, sometimes blue. (Why yes I did give her a magpie color scheme.) Even though she's not typically superstitious, she'll often wear red 'for luck' when she's about to do something particularly dangerous.

Smells: Jasmine, osmanthus, plum blossoms. Waterfalls and the sea. The spices and scents of the kitchen while Eligos is cooking. Sun-warmed skin and coconut.

Textures: Being buried in fuzzy blankets. Submerged in water. The touch of skin. Tracing anything with patterns or edges. The smooth softness of petals and leaves.

Drinks: Spiced tea, which she grew very fond of during her time in Ul'dah

O T H E R    D E T A I L S

Smokes: Nope.

Drinks: Tea, water. Wine occasionally with dinner. The most ridiculous-sounding drink on the menu if on vacation or traveling.

Drugs: On purpose? Not usually. She's too paranoid and always needs to feel in control. Eligos has talked her into experimenting with alchemy on a couple rare occasions in a very controlled environment.

Mount Issuance: Unless a very tall viera picking her up and carrying her around because she's smol counts, not really. She doesn't own a chocobo or horse, though she does know how to ride.

Been Arrested: She came close once, but she chose murder over capture. Things got rather dicey after that for a while.

Tagged by: @wpip-raham and @starforger Thank you! Sorry it took me forever!

Tagging: anyone who wants to do the thing! This was going around maybe a month ago but I wasn't feeling well

[10moonymhrivertam]

Okay apparently getting back into Doctor Who was what I needed to start wanting to write again. I wanna list everything I'm thinking about right this second before I jump on to Gatwa's Christmas special

Self-indulgent self-insert (and that's all the details you get on that cuz I've yet to be brave enough to post one in recent memory)

TenToo and Rose have been exploring and were surprised to find the Shoboggans. Moving Tecteun forward in time cuz I can, and so everyone's very excited and proud of their foremost space explorer, so they go off looking for her so TenToo can try and suss out where Gallifrey's history diverges. Their TARDIS drops them off at the foot of a wormhole where there is a friend or sibling of the Doctor's (not that any of them know that) but because they actually care about kids, they sit together and wait. TenToo, at a loss when Kid describes their situation, sends out one of the emergency psychic messengers for the Doctor, figuring that it'll either get through by the wonders of the universe or he's just as lost but feels better for talking out loud. He doesn't expect to get a message back from Ambiguously-season-13 Thirteen (maybe even immediately after she gives up the watch to the TARDIS, lol)

The Flux disrupts E-Space. Romana comes back (I don't know a lot about Romana and having just read up on her wikipedia page I'm gonna say) When she finds out Gallifrey is gone, she's torn between intrigue at the possibility of having adventures in her home universe again and the devastation of losing her home. She ends up going to Graham's group for help, but they somehow all dance around the fact that she's looking for the Doctor/they all know the Doctor (they're just people who like helping, she's just looking for someone who can give her an update on her home). At least until Tegan has some kind of off-handed mention of Adric and Romana clues in all at once.

At first I just wanted Doctor/Doctor smut because they've always been flattering to themselves and Thirteen during her quantum state thing was wild but then Fifteen gave Fourteen that kiss on the forehead and now I immediately need Doctor/Doctor h/c

Fourteen being grounded aside from actual-one-trips gives him time to just. Spend with the TARDIS. Track down archived console rooms she'll let him into and ones she won't. Sitting down with her and sorting out a bunch of bypassed systems and such that he doesn't really need bypassed if he's not always, always running. Just sitting with her and talking with her.

Some silly little vignette type of thing where the Doc has to reckon with 'am I just. The source of *all* Time Lord myths?' Reeling over the fact that he probably actually *knew* Omega once upon a time instead of just. Y'know. Being responsible for his death.

Self-indulgent self-insert (and that's all the details you get on that cuz I've yet to be brave enough to post one in recent memory)

TenToo and Rose have been exploring and were surprised to find the Shoboggans. Moving Tecteun forward in time cuz I can, and so everyone's very excited and proud of their foremost space explorer, so they go off looking for her so TenToo can try and suss out where Gallifrey's history diverges. Their TARDIS drops them off at the foot of a wormhole where there is a friend or sibling of the Doctor's (not that any of them know that) but because they actually care about kids, they sit together and wait. TenToo, at a loss when Kid describes their situation, sends out one of the emergency psychic messengers for the Doctor, figuring that it'll either get through by the wonders of the universe or he's just as lost but feels better for talking out loud. He doesn't expect to get a message back from Ambiguously-season-13 Thirteen (maybe even immediately after she gives up the watch to the TARDIS, lol)

The Flux disrupts E-Space. Romana comes back (I don't know a lot about Romana and having just read up on her wikipedia page I'm gonna say) When she finds out Gallifrey is gone, she's torn between intrigue at the possibility of having adventures in her home universe again and the devastation of losing her home. She ends up going to Graham's group for help, but they somehow all dance around the fact that she's looking for the Doctor/they all know the Doctor (they're just people who like helping, she's just looking for someone who can give her an update on her home). At least until Tegan has some kind of off-handed mention of Adric and Romana clues in all at once.

At first I just wanted Doctor/Doctor smut because they've always been flattering to themselves and Thirteen during her quantum state thing was wild but then Fifteen gave Fourteen that kiss on the forehead and now I immediately need Doctor/Doctor h/c

Fourteen being grounded aside from actual-one-trips gives him time to just. Spend with the TARDIS. Track down archived console rooms she'll let him into and ones she won't. Sitting down with her and sorting out a bunch of bypassed systems and such that he doesn't really need bypassed if he's not always, always running. Just sitting with her and talking with her.

Some silly little vignette type of thing where the Doc has to reckon with 'am I just. The source of *all* Time Lord myths?' Reeling over the fact that he probably actually *knew* Omega once upon a time instead of just. Y'know. Being responsible for his death.

And this one's not a story thought, just a thought-thought, but there's arguably always been a pattern in New Who of the next Doctor addressing what the last one saw as flaws or at least were hurt by things. Thirteen doesn't know who she is anymore? Alright, Fourteen will be someone he already knows backwards and forwards and was so reluctant to let go of. And then he still needed therapy lol but the regeneration addressed the problem, too.

[hierophant-meme]

The Only Place in the Universe

Jonny Ariga x AFAB!Reader

Some Quick Notes:

It's been a few months since I've played Catherine: Full Body so some stuff might be wrong. I also kept trying to look for the picture of Area 15 but couldn't find it again. I know there's probably no hill there but I made it up for the a e s t h e t i c.

This fanfic takes place during the Katherine route of Catherine: Classic so no Rin :( I wanted to put her in the story but I haven't finished her route yet.

Content contains: No y/n, reader has never been in a relationship before, slow burn, SFW, she/her pronouns are used

Jonathan Ariga hadn’t changed much from when you first met him all those years ago. Recently, however, you noticed he was becoming much more irritable and closed off. This was even before all the nightmare nonsense began. As much as you wanted to say something to him, you couldn’t bring yourself to do so because of your stupid attraction towards him. That and he was just always difficult to talk to. 

The ones you were closest to in the group were Vincent Brooks and Erica Anderson. When you first transferred to the high school in Neo-Brooklyn and a group of mean-spirited girls kept picking on you, they were the first ones to stand up for you. They then introduced you to the rest of their friends and the rest is history. 

You quickly got along with Orlando Haddick and Katherine McBride, but Jonny was a different story. He took a lot longer to warm up to you. At first, you thought he was like that to only you, but you soon learned that he was like that to everyone. Over the years, you had learned a lot about him, but despite that, he was still a mystery to you. Maybe it was because he kept to himself most of the time or because he was always helping his dad with the used car business. You expressed your concerns about him to your friends but they told you that it was no use because he was always very defensive when it came to confronting his own feelings. You felt like there had to be some way to get through to him but without knowing the right words to say without sounding too intrusive, you decided to leave it as is. 

The thought of seeing Jonny in a romantic light never crossed your mind until just recently. Occasionally, he’d tell you about his girl troubles, so you were aware that he never harbored feelings for you. And at the time, you were okay with that since you, too, only liked him platonically. 

But now, things were different…

Do I only like him like that out of pity? After seeing all his failed relationships and knowing him for so long I feel like I could treat him better. But should I be thinking that? If I say anything, would it ruin our friendship?

That last thought was all you needed to stay silent. If he never harbored romantic feelings for you in the past, why would he now? It would pain you to no longer be able to hang out with him, but at the same time, it still hurt. After all, how can you get over someone you practically have to see every day? You could of course stop going to the Stray Sheep with everyone but that would raise too much suspicion and would make you look like a complete bitch. Or you could just lie and tell them you were depressed, although that was actually becoming more true each day. 

You tried to tell them one day but felt you had no right to call yourself depressed over some silly little crush when one of your best friends was clearly suffering a lot more than you were. 

“YOU’RE CHEATING ON KATHERINE?” Tobias Nebbins practically exclaims to the whole planet.

“Shhhhh! Not so loud! Maybe. I don’t know. It just kind of happened,” Vincent tries explaining to you all.

“I dunno, man. It looks like you knew exactly what you were doing… now tell us the details. Was she hot?” Orlando asks.

“Gross,” You say to him while kicking his leg lightly.

“Hey! What? I’m kidding!”

“This isn’t the time for jokes, and don’t assume shit. We don’t know the full story yet.”

“Do we need to though? It’s no surprise since Vince hasn’t exactly been the happiest with his woman. If this new chick is hot then that’s all we need to-” Toby is interrupted by your hand covering his mouth.

“Ugh. You guys are horrible friends. Look, it doesn’t matter whether this woman was ‘hot’ or not. What matters is what actually happened and how Vincent feels about it,” you try to reason.

“Hey, sweetie, I know you usually give people the benefit of the doubt but no matter how you look at it, it’s pretty obvious what’s going on,” Erica tries to convince you. You give her an irritated look as you now feel defeated. “Besides, haven’t you guys heard the rumors about what happens to cheaters? If they don’t come clean to their partners and die in their dreams, they die in real life. It’s just a rumor, I know, but you can never be too careful.”

“So, are you going to tell Katherine?” Jonny asks Vincent.

“No, because nothing happened between me and this other woman. I don’t need to worry her over this. When I see that mysterious girl again I’m gonna tell it to her straight,” Vincent reassures everyone.

“Promise?” Erica demands.

“I promise!”

You don’t know if it was your imagination but Jonny began to look irritated towards Vincent for the first time ever. It was weird to think that because he, Vincent, and Orlando were practically inseparable. While the others may be quick to blame Vincent, you knew better. He wasn’t that kind of person. Even if something did happen, he was just confused and scared about his future with Katherine. There really had to be something more than meets the eye, and you were annoyed that not even his friends would believe him. 

_____________________

It turned out that the rumors Erica was talking about held some weight. As the week dragged on, more and more reports about men passing away in their sleep were announced. Some were even people who frequented the very bar you went to with your friends every night. The atmosphere in town was eerie and you couldn’t help but think that one of your friends could be next. The only people in your group who didn’t have nightmares were you and Toby, but you still couldn’t sleep well from the anxiety. 

Seven days had passed since Vincent first had nightmares and saw the mysterious woman he still couldn’t get rid of. Orlando and Jonny also started experiencing nightmares a few days later. It didn’t make sense why they had them, though. Neither of them were cheaters as far as anyone was concerned. Even Erica started to have them and she wasn’t even a dude, unless of course maybe it affected anyone assigned male at birth, but that still didn’t explain why Toby didn’t have them. It was all so confusing. 

That night, you showed up at the Stray Sheep as Toby and Orlando were about to leave. Toby tells you that Jonny isn’t feeling well. After trying to comfort Vincent who had apparently just told the mysterious woman the truth, you text Jonny to check in on him. 

Hey, dude. Toby said you weren’t feeling well. Is everything okay?

The day before, you hung out with him at the bar while everyone else went home. He was in deep distress, nearly drowning himself in alcohol which he very rarely ever did. 

It was about his girlfriend and how he felt bad that he didn’t want to marry her because he had someone else on his mind. You were secretly hoping it was you but once he told you that it was someone who was already in a relationship, your heart sank in its chest. But because you knew what it felt like to have your love unrequited, you validated his feelings.

You were also upfront with him and told him that he should tell the truth to his girlfriend; that he no longer wanted to continue the relationship with her. In addition, you suggested that he should still tell the woman he was pining for how he felt, even if he knew she wouldn’t like him back. A piece of advice you probably should take, too. Of course, that would be easier said than done. 

You sat at a table away from Vincent to give him space and awaited a reply from Jonny. Five minutes had passed but there was no response. Erica sits down next to you.

“You okay? Something bothering you?” She asks. 

Your face begins to turn red. No one knows about the idiotic feelings you have for your friend. You tried hard not to say anything but if you don’t tell someone about it now, you feared you might lose it. 

“Can I tell you something?” you turn to face her.

“Sure what’s up!”

“Promise you won’t laugh or judge me. I’ve been doing enough of that to myself,” you say with a nervous laugh.

“I work at a bar. I’m sure I’ve heard worse,” she smiles. “You can trust me.”

You sigh, trying to put all your thoughts together. This was it. It was the first time you would admit, out loud, your romantic feelings for him. 

“I have a crush on Jonny.” You rest your forehead on the table and cross your arms. If only you were a turtle so you could hide inside your shell, but this would do for now. 

“Hey it’s okay,” Erica says while patting your head. “I kind of already knew. Let me guess, you realized it about… hmmm… five or six months ago?”

You sit back up in bewilderment of the words she spoke just now. “How did you-?”

“Oh it was easy. The way you interacted with him was a bit different around that time. You started being a lot nicer to him and your eyes started having a little twinkle whenever you looked at him.”

“Why didn’t you say anything about it?”

“Because you always seem pretty sure about things. Figured you’d say something first soon. Although, I’m surprised you two haven’t gotten together after this long. But it’s still Jonny. You deserve waaaaay better.”

“I myself keep wondering why I even like him, but how are you surprised that we haven’t gotten together? Just look at him and all the girls he’s dated. He goes after girls that look like models. I’m nowhere near as gorgeous as them.”

“First of all, shut up. He needs his eyes checked because I think you’re beautiful. Secondly, I guess I thought he’d grow out of being so shallow. I know he’s a man so maybe that’s wishful thinking on my part but I think personality-wise, you two would be perfect for each other. You still deserve better but I can see why your heart would yearn for him. If he ever breaks up with his girlfriend, you should tell him!”

“I can’t”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s in love with someone else. He didn’t tell me who it was but he said it was someone who was already in a relationship. So yeah, that automatically removes me from being a possibility.”

You sit in silence with her for a few seconds. “It may take some time but I have full faith that one day he’ll see just how awesome you are.” Her words comfort you.

Before you spoke, a notification on your phone appeared. 

I deserve it.

“Is that him?” Erika asks trying to peer over at your phone and you nod. “I gotta clean up now. But remember, you can come to me for anything.” You thank her and begin texting again. 

Deserve what?

To be alone forever.

Did you break up with her?

Yeah, but maybe I shouldn’t have.

I’m confused. I thought you didn’t want to be with her anymore.

I don’t know. I don’t anymore. Why do you even care? 

Because you’re my friend. Okay? Where are you right now?

I’m not telling you.

You don’t have to. I think I know where you are.  

You headed out to your car and drove to a small hill in Neo-Brooklyn Park that overlooks the city. It was his favorite place to go after a breakup. You parked your car and made your way up the hill. Jonny rested up against the large tree that towered above. He turns his head to see you walking towards him.

“How’d you know I was here?” he asks.

“Vince and Orlando told me they found you here once after you broke up with a girl in your freshman year of high school. Then that time after you broke up with that one girl from English class after graduation, we came in to check on you. We checked in on you after your breakups a few times after that but we haven’t done it in years. I figured it might still be an old habit of yours.” You sat down next to him. 

“Stalkers,” he says with a slight chuckle then takes a puff of smoke from his cigarette. God, he looks so pretty under the moonlit sky. As you were admiring him, you noticed that he had tear stains adorning his cheeks.

“That’s what you get for worrying us all the time. Instead of talking to us, you just run away. What kind of friends would we be if we didn’t care and something were to happen to you? Huh?”  A silence enveloped the atmosphere. There was so much you were trying to hold back. 

Tell him you love him.

Wipe his tears away.

Hug him. 

Ask if you could kiss him. 

You quickly snapped out of it, because you knew he didn’t need that from you right now. “About what you said earlier, you don’t deserve to be alone forever.”

“But I didn’t tell her the truth sooner. She could’ve found someone better by now if I had. I just held her back from finding someone they truly deserve. I held all of my past girlfriends back. I was so mean to them and never listened. I’m such a horrible person.”

“You’re not the only person who’s ever felt like this, you know. You learn from your mistakes and now you move on. Just because you’ve failed at your past relationships, doesn’t mean you should give up on love altogether now.”

“I guess that makes sense. To tell you the truth, I kind of blamed you for what happened at first because I thought, ‘What would she know about relationships?’, but I guess you’re right. You’re so smart when it comes to all of this. How come you’ve never had a partner before? I bet you’d have no problems navigating relationships, unlike the rest of us.”

“That’s probably what everyone thinks at first, no? That they wouldn’t fuck anything up but then something happens. I’ve seen it way too much in my family and, not to be rude, but in our little friend group as well. I guess I’m just scared and analyze everything too much… But this isn’t about me right now. What’s on your mind, boy? And don’t give me that ‘Nothing. I’m okay’ crap.”

The slight breeze in the air ruffles his hair as he takes a couple more drags from his cigarette before speaking: “Katherine…”

“What?”

“You heard me”

“Like, as in Vincent’s pregnant fiance?”

“Yeah. I know it’s stupid, right?”

You try to collect your thoughts before you speak. “It is stupid, I agree. But it also isn’t. Sometimes we want people we can’t have and that’s normal. It’s not their fault and it’s not ours. I think the hardest part is trying to accept that fact and move on. But if things don’t work out with them, you should still tell her to find some closure. Vincent should know about it, too.”

“Do you think he’ll hate me after that?”

“Probably, but if you guys really are true friends, then you’ll withstand any challenge that comes your way. Besides, bottling it up is not good for you. The first step is admitting it to someone you trust, so you’re already on the right track.” You tap on his shoulder. “C’mon lover boy, it’s getting late. You should get some rest. Well, that’s if the nightmares will spare you for tonight.”

________________

A few days later, the nightmare-related deaths stopped and things between Vincent and Katherine ended up working out. You asked Jonny if he still wanted to tell them but he decided against it. He was just glad to see that his friends were happy together. Whatever happened during that week didn’t just change things for the soon-to-be-wed couple (with no child as it turned out Kat wasn’t actually pregnant), but it changed everyone else’s mindset, too. There were fewer cases of cheating in all of Area 15, Orlando got back with his ex and opened his dream business, and Jonny made it his mission to slow down and find his soulmate. You teased him a bit for that but it was nice to see him be more open about things with you all. 

You decided that it was best not to tell him about your love for him, at least not now. Maybe you would later, but you wanted to give him time to recover from all that had happened. Seeing your friends happy in their relationships now and Jonny’s optimism helped rid your fears of being in a committed relationship yourself. 

Vince and Katherine decided to get married as soon as possible. On the day of the wedding, Erica helped do your hair and makeup. The two of you were going to be Kat’s bridesmaids along with some ladies from her work. You didn’t wear dresses or makeup too often so it kind of felt weird to you, but didn’t mind it too much. You were just glad to be a part of your friends’ special day. 

You saw Jonny at the reception. He was one of Vince’s best men alongside Toby, Orlando, and a few other familiar faces. It was weird seeing him dressed up as he was usually wearing jeans, a plain white button-up, and his signature dark-brown belted coat. Nonetheless, he looked as handsome as ever. He was what your eyes kept searching for that entire day. You knew you couldn’t bear to see him anymore after this if you wanted to move on. After the wedding, you still hung around with everyone else but made it your objective to not see him as much anymore. 

However, with the space colony of Area 15 being as small as it is, it was hard not to bump into him. Over the next year, neither of you had found a sweetheart. You hadn’t spent time with him one-on-one since his last breakup when you sat with him on the hill until he sent you the message that would lead to what you only thought was possible in your dreams. 

Hey, you busy tomorrow night?

No, why?

There’s something I need to talk to you about.

Is everything okay?

Yeah, I guess. There’s just been a lot on my mind and you’re the only one I can talk to about it.

Okay. What time tomorrow and where?

Is 8 pm at the hill in the park fine? 

Wait, did you break up with someone again? I didn’t think you were dating anyone right now.

I’m not, so no I didn’t break up with anyone. This is about something else entirely actually. But can we save that for tomorrow? 

Yeah, sure. I’ll be there.

After work the next day, you came home and ate dinner before changing and heading off to meet Jonny. You decided to wear something casual since he was probably just going to talk about his romantic struggles with you and ask for your advice again. Or if it was concerning something more serious, you didn’t want to wear anything flashy or colorful. With that, you made your way to the hill not expecting the events that were about to unfold.

“Hey, Jonnyboy. What’s up?” You greet him. He’s lying down on a blanket but gets up when he hears your voice.

“Oh, hey! I’m glad you could make it. Here,” he scoots over to make space for you. “Lay down here and look up at the sky,” you do as he requests. “Don’t the stars look beautiful tonight?”

“They do, but they look beautiful every night,” you reply.

“I know, but it’s different tonight.”

You were confused as to why he had you looking at the night sky right now. “So did you want to talk about something?”

“Yeah, but right now I just want to look at the sky.”

He started pointing out constellations and babbling on about mythological deities and weird superstitions about love. 

“What's gotten into you, idiot? I thought you wanted to talk about something serious not about Greek gods and their drama,” you tease him. In reality, you could listen to hours upon hours of his voice that was as sweet as the ambrosia the gods he was talking about ate. 

“I do. I’m just… stalling I suppose,” he says while turning his head to you. “Can I ask you something rather personal?”

“It depends… but sure. Okay.”

“You don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but I’m just curious. What would you look for in a partner?”

I blush and turn my head away so he doesn’t see it. “I- I dunno… does it m-matter? I’ve accepted the fact that at this point in my life, I’m probably not going to find anyone.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well I’ve never been the subject of anyone’s dreams or desires. Plus, every time I’ve like someone, they either reject me or they’re already with someone else. I kind of feel hopeless, you know?”

“And what if I told you, you were wrong?”

You turn to face him now. “What do you mean?”

“Because as of late,” he turns his whole body to the side to face me, “you’ve been the only subject of my dreams.”

Your eyes feel like they could pop out of your skull. Your heart almost leaped out of your chest. Is it finally happening?

“Jonny…” You say as your hand covers your mouth. The clear little dots that were the stars now blurred together in your vision. You closed your eyes as tears made their way down your cheek.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry!” he props himself up and puts his hand on your shoulder.

“Not it’s not your fault. I’m just shocked that’s all,” you break down, sobbing. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” He gently helps you up and wraps his arms around you, ”I’ve got you.”

“Do you know how much pain you’ve caused me? How long I’ve wanted you? What made you realize now?”

“I’m surprised. You wanted me? I thought you were too cool to want to be with someone like me seeing as how you’re originally from Earth. As for how long I’ve wanted to be with you, I started thinking about you a lot since the wedding. You looked so stunning, but I didn’t realize yet how special you were to me. Then it seemed like you were trying to avoid me. I was used to seeing you nearly every day, so when it went from weeks to months that I didn’t see you or talk to you like before, I started thinking. My life was much more dull when you weren’t around and you were the only one that understood how I felt all these years. I don’t know why I didn’t realize it sooner. I’m sorry for being a dumbass.”

“You’re not a dumbass. I don’t blame you one bit. If anyone here’s the dumbass it’s me for trying to distance myself from you. All the girls you’ve been with in the past were so much prettier than me so I just assumed that you’d never be interested in me. And I know I’m not originally from here, but this is my home now. Never will I ever think that I’m better than anyone here. In fact it’s the opposite,” you look up into his eyes while clinging onto his shirt, ”the people here are much more interesting and understanding than where I come from. I’m glad that out of all the places they could’ve sent me, they sent me here. It’s the only place in the universe with you in it, after all.”

You knew his eyes were brown, but you never knew they were the color of warm coffee that could wake someone up and make the day more bearable. His embrace melted away any tension you had built up in your body. The moonlight showered you with the confidence you wished you had since the first time you met him. At this moment, nothing mattered except for the feeling of his soft, tender lips against yours. He tasted mostly sweet with a slight hint of bitter nicotine that you were surprised wasn’t overwhelming with just how much he smokes. 

It was more intoxicating than any alcoholic beverage you’ve ever had. More addicting than any drug that existed in the universe. The kiss grew stronger and more passionate. It felt like an eternity had passed before you both pulled away to catch your breaths. He cups your cheeks with his hands and examines your features closely.

“You’re so beautiful and I’m still angry at myself for not seeing it until now. How could the universe leave such a goddess like yourself alone for this long?”

“I’m no goddess,” you blush harder and bury your face in his chest. “I think it’s because I kept my heart locked away and you were the only one who had the key.”

“Well, I’m glad I finally realized I had it and that we’re here together now. I won’t let you slip away from me ever again.”

“And I promise I won’t run away from you again.”

[totaldramafan-lauri]

O-OK, so.....before I talk about specific story stuff about the Beast-Yeast story, there's.....something I've had strong feelings about for a while, that this story only helped make stronger.....

N-now, this is something that....I'm not sure is still around, so this will not be calling out any specific people. Dunno how obvious this is, but outside of our little circle, I've had limited interaction with the CRK fandom, cuz I don't go into tags very often. I tend to not interact with people who don't interact with me first. I-I have a few reasons for doing this, a few have to do with anxiety, but the biggest reason boils down to my age, pretty much. Wh-when I say that I want everyone who finds my blog to be people who WANT to be here, I mean it. I don't wanna make anyone uncomfy.

S-so, cuz of this, I dunno how common this pet peeve of mine still is nowadays. I DO know that it was a decently common thing last year, and that I at least have a HINT at it still being a thing right now, so I'm gonna go ahead and talk about it anyway....

And that's the misinterpretations of Golden Cheese being a jerkish character.

C-cuz.....I-I've been thinking about this quote from Smoked Cheese a lot recently....a-and it....makes me feel warm.....cuz....i-it sums up so much of the appeal of her.....as this loving, caring ruler and god who a-accepts anyone....as her treasures....anyone who shows her loyalty, no matter who they may have been before her....Anyone can become hers.....

W-with....open arms.....>///////<

A-and, the fact that there were/are people who still think she's some kinda tsundere with a prickly exterior, or even a vain, selfish, arrogant character who "cares deep deep down", just.....miffs me.....Like.....TVTropes has "Jerk With A Heart Of Gold" listed under her, and I'm reading that, thinking.....where's the jerk part???

She has NEVER been a jerk in canon. To ANYONE. She has an ego, and that's ALL. She was GONNA be a tyrant at one point, but that information was retconned. It's not canon. It's never been canon. That was from early in development.

T-to me, as I characterize her.....she's a protector....that's who she is above all else. She doesn't hide one bit about who she is.....She doesn't hide how much she cares about her subjects....and she'll never act like she doesn't care. Sh-she may love shiny things, but she isn't just about collecting more and more treasures and subjects, but about keeping them, holding them, and never letting them go.....

She cares....a lot.....She's not selfish....She's greedy, but not selfish....Her redefinition of greed is not as a vice, but as the drive to follow your desires.....She's got an ego, yes, but that doesn't make her arrogant...and her ego is fun, c'mon.....She shouldn't be mistaken as a mean character based off that.....>//////>

The only time it seems like she's being hostile, she has good reason to be, and that's toward the main characters in Crispia 18, when they.....I dunno.....intruded in her kingdom, then tried to get to her leave her kingdom and her subjects behind after JUST meeting her....y'know......H-how cruel of her to not wanna listen to them, y'know? A-and even then, she attacked them, but STOPPED attacking them after they fought back, showing she never meant to hurt them too much....and then she actually gave them time to talk to her.....Y'know....how cruel, right....? >///////>

A-also, she's stated to dislike violence. She's powerful, but only fights when she feels she has to. What a jerk.

H-her whole motivation throughout the Crispia story was just to protect her kingdom....nothing else. That was ALL she was trying to do throughout that WHOLE story. And no, it's not her trying to hold onto an illusion of what she once had or anything like that, no- those were her literal actual subjects. Not in their physical bodies, sure, but very real. Not recreations, they were very much conscious, in control of their own actions, and trying to live their lives in peace. She wanted to keep them safe. She was even going outta her way to keep them happy, by letting them talk to her and by being hands-on in fixing their problems. She was very selfless.....

O-oh, and of course, let's not forget her....probably most notable moment of maturity.....H-how, her attitude towards Smoked Cheese, after ALL he did, wasn't hatred, it was "I'm mad at you, but you're still my subject, so I take partial responsibility for your actions." Do I even need to say anything about that? C'mon...! >//////< Sh-she could've disowned him, but NO, she showed care towards him even after all that....

And in the Beast-Yeast story, she didn't do a single thing that could even be READ as mean. She showed the Kulfi nothing but kindness, and at the end of the story, said that she was open to inviting them to her kingdom. She was open to showing mercy to the Wild Spices, her enemies, by trying to get them to understand Burning Spice doesn't care about them multiple times. She didn't try to push anyone away one time.....Her kindness was actually the reason why so many of the Spices deserted....She showed them the kind of ruler they DIDN'T have....

S-so....I-I.....don't wanna see anyone interpret her as a jerk, or even a jerk with a heart of gold, cuz she's NOT....She has not shown a single moment of cruelty towards ANYONE who didn't deserve it, and is in fact, the complete opposite......She's not just openly kind and accepting, but also merciful.....Knowing the difference between those that can be reasoned with, and those who can't....

Now.....I guess....i-if someone wants to argue that I lean too hard on her caring side in my writing, I....I....I guess I wouldn't argue too much about that...? I-I have my reasons, but....I-I'd also understand.....? B-but....I-I will always see her the way I see her. She can be stern and direct, she does adore being respected and worshiped, and her ego is as big as the sun, but none of that makes her a mean character. She loves herself, but....she also loves her treasures very, very much.....

A-and that's how I'll always see her....

A god who cares deeply for those who need her.....A god who will accept anyone as hers, with open arms.....

A-again, I dunno how common that characterization is anymore, but I've wanted to talk about this for a while, so I thought it was the right time to......>//////>