#i've been thinking about them a lot lately

[molsno]

I've been unemployed since the beginning of 2024 and have applied to hundreds, maybe even thousands of jobs since then. 90% of them have never responded to me. for the record, I have a computer science degree. amidst my frustration, I've had a lot of time to think about why I can't seem to get a job.

I see a lot of people in the replies saying that this should be illegal. I completely agree, but the simple fact is that we live in a dictatorship of the bourgeoisie. so even if there does happen to be a law on the books that makes this act illegal, it doesn't matter in the slightest if it's not enforced. and it won't be, because our governments are designed specifically to serve the class interests of the bourgeoisie. these governments cannot be reformed, and even if they were, those reforms will be granted as concessions to the workers to prevent us from engaging in organized class struggle, and will slowly be rolled back until we're right back here again.

if you want ghost jobs to be illegal, and if you want the rights of workers to be prioritized more broadly, then there is only one option: the establishment of a dictatorship of the proletariat. only when we have formed governments that serve the class interests of the proletariat and oppress the bourgeoisie will we, as workers, be able to work meaningful, fulfilling jobs with dignity. reaching this goal, which is the first major step towards the future of a stateless, classless society, will be difficult work, but it's necessary work. without it, we will continue to suffer from grueling, demeaning work under the command of capitalists, else we face homelessness and starvation. this is why we need to organize under the principles of marxism-leninism now, before it's too late.

"About 81% of recruiters say that their employer posts “ghost jobs,” or positions that either don’t exist or are already filled, according to a new report from MyPerfectResume, a resume building platform. Jasmine Escalera, a career expert for MyPerfectResume, says this figure is staggering, and discouraging for candidates looking to land a new role.

“We often hear job-seekers saying, ‘I’m tired, I’m depressed, I’m desperate,’ using these very harsh words when it comes to the job market,” she says. “This is one of the reasons why they are losing faith in organizations and companies.”

Not only are recruiters fessing up to the tactic, they’re also admitting to how common it is. Around 17% say up to three quarters of their job announcements aren’t genuine, while 21.5% say ghost jobs account for half of all positions they post, 36% say a quarter of their postings are fake or already filled, and 18% of headhunters report that less than one tenth of their work advertisements aren’t real.  

It may seem counterproductive for recruiters to advertise ghost jobs, theoretically wasting their own time as well as that of applicants—but there are incentives for doing so. About 38% say they post fake positions to maintain a presence on job boards when they aren’t hiring, 36% do so to assess the effectiveness of their job descriptions, 26% want to build a talent pool for the future, 26% hope gain insight into the job market and competitors, and 25% want to assess how difficult it would be to replace certain employees, according to the report. Escalera points out that a big reason for posting these jobs is recruiters wanting to improve their business’ image—nearly a quarter also say that fake jobs help their companies look as if they aren’t experiencing a hiring freeze, and one fifth say they post ghost jobs to improve the reputation of their company."

(August 19, 2024)

[littleprinces]

Day 28: Office Sex

IVE Rei x Male Reader

Kinkvember day 28

Sorry for latepost

The office was quiet, save for the distant hum of the city outside. I sat at my desk, eyes scanning a spreadsheet that held little interest for me. My mind was elsewhere, consumed by thoughts of Rei. She had been my secretary for a few months now, and every day I found myself more and more drawn to her. Her smile, her laugh, the way her eyes sparkled when she talked—it all drove me wild. Today, I decided, I would act on my desires.

I called her into my office, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside me. "Rei, could you come in here for a moment?"

She entered, her heels clicking softly on the polished floor. Her eyes met mine, and I saw a flicker of surprise. "Yes, Mr. Thompson?"

"Please, call me Jamie," I said, leaning back in my chair. "And you can close the door."

She did as I asked, her brow furrowing slightly. "Is everything alright?"

I stood up, rounding my desk to stand in front of her. "Everything is perfect, Rei. I've been thinking about you a lot lately."

She blushed, looking down at her feet. "I... I don't know what to say."

I reached out, tipping her chin up so she had to look at me. "Say yes. Say yes to this." I leaned in, brushing my lips against hers. She hesitated for a moment before responding, her lips soft and warm against mine.

I deepened the kiss, my tongue exploring her mouth. She moaned softly, her hands reaching up to tangle in my hair. I pulled her closer, my hands roaming over her body. She was wearing a tight skirt and a blouse that hinted at her curves. I wanted to see more, to touch more.

I broke the kiss, my breath ragged. "Rei, I want to fuck you."

Her eyes widened, but she didn't pull away. "Jamie... I'm not sure..."

I smiled, my fingers tracing the line of her jaw. "Let me convince you." I kissed her again, my hands moving to her blouse. I unbuttoned it slowly, my eyes on hers. She didn't stop me, her breath coming in soft gasps as I revealed more of her skin.

Her blouse fell open, and I took a moment to appreciate her lacy bra. I ran my fingers over the lace, making her shiver. I unhooked it, and her big breasts spilled out. They were perfect, firm and pert with rosy nipples. I couldn't resist leaning down to take one in my mouth.

She moaned, her hands gripping my hair. "Jamie... that feels so good."

I switched to the other breast, my hands moving to her skirt. I unzipped it slowly, her eyes on me the whole time. I slipped it down her legs, leaving her in just her heels and panties.

I stepped back, my eyes raking over her body. "You're gorgeous, Rei."

She blushed, but she didn't look away. She looked confident, sexy. "Thank you."

I sat down in my chair, pulling her towards me. "Come here." She stepped between my legs, her hands on my shoulders. I could feel her heat through her panties, and it was driving me crazy.

I kissed her again, my hands moving to her ass. I squeezed, pulling her against me. She moaned, her hips grinding against mine. I could feel her wetness through her panties, and I knew she wanted this just as much as I did.

I broke the kiss, my eyes locked with hers. "I want to taste you."

She bit her lip, her cheeks flushing. "Okay."

I pushed her gently so she was lying back on my desk. I moved between her legs, my hands on her thighs. I could see the wet spot on her panties, and I groaned. I hooked my fingers into the sides and pulled them off, revealing her pussy.

She was shaved, her pussy lips glistening. I leaned in, my tongue flicking out to taste her. She was sweet and salty, and I couldn't get enough. I lapped at her, my tongue circling her clit. She moaned, her hips bucking against my mouth.

I slipped two fingers inside her, curling them up to hit that spot. She cried out, her hands gripping the desk. I fucked her with my fingers, my tongue working her clit. She was close, I could tell.

"Jamie... I'm gonna come..." she panted.

I redoubled my efforts, my fingers moving faster. She came with a cry, her body shaking. I licked her through it, not stopping until she was boneless and panting.

I stood up, my cock aching. She looked up at me, her eyes heavy-lidded. "Your turn," she said, a wicked smile on her face.

I unbuckled my belt, my cock springing free. She sat up, her eyes locked on it. She licked her lips, and I groaned.

"Come here," I said, my voice rough. She did, her hands wrapping around my cock. She stroked it, her eyes on mine.

"You're so big," she said, her voice breathy.

I smiled, my hands tangling in her hair. "And you're so wet. I can't wait to feel you."

I pushed her back onto the desk, my cock at her entrance. I rubbed the head against her clit, making her moan. Then I pushed in, slowly, giving her time to adjust.

She was tight, so fucking tight. I groaned, my hands gripping her hips. I started to move, slowly at first, then faster. She met my thrusts, her nails digging into my back.

"Yes, Jamie, yes," she panted. "Harder. Faster."

I obliged, my cock slamming into her. She was screaming, her body shaking with each thrust. I could feel my orgasm building, and I knew I couldn't hold on much longer.

"I'm gonna come, Rei," I grunted. "Come with me."

She nodded, her body tensing. "Yes, yes, I'm coming..."

I thrust into her one last time, my cock pulsing as I came. She came with me, her body shaking as she screamed my name.

We collapsed onto the desk, our bodies slick with sweat. I pulled her against me, our hearts pounding in sync.

"That was..." she started, but she couldn't find the words.

I smiled, kissing her forehead. "Amazing. And we're not done yet."

She looked up at me, her eyes shining. "Oh really?"

I grinned. "Oh really."

I flipped her onto her hands and knees, my cock already hard again. I rubbed the head against her pussy, making her moan.

"Jamie... I don't know if I can take more," she said, her voice breathless.

I chuckled, my hands on her hips. "You can. And you will."

I pushed into her, her pussy still wet from our previous encounter. She moaned, her body arching back against me. I started to move, my hands gripping her hips.

"Deeper, Jamie," she moaned. "Deeper."

I obliged, my cock slamming into her with each thrust. She was screaming, her body shaking with each thrust. I could feel her pussy clenching around me, and I knew she was close.

"I'm gonna come, Rei," I grunted. "Come with me."

She nodded, her body tensing. "Yes, yes, I'm coming..."

I thrust into her one last time, my cock pulsing as I came. She came with me, her body shaking as she screamed my name.

We collapsed onto the desk, our bodies slick with sweat. I pulled her against me, our hearts pounding in sync.

"That was..." she started, but she couldn't find the words.

I smiled, kissing her forehead. "Amazing. And we're not done yet."

She looked up at me, her eyes shining. "Oh really?"

I grinned. "Oh really."

[akanemnon]

Normally, I'm not the type to send an ask (I'm not particularly active on Tumblr, so it feels a little weird sending a msg over), but the comic has been an inspiration for me for months now (and this week's one has really hit the feels! xD) and I figured it wouldn't hurt, especially when I've been through the ringer a couple of times recently myself.

I hope you heal well on your hiatus, I've had a good relationship with taking walks in [personally significant location] whenever I need to cool off, or if I'm at home I just listen to the same music on loop until I fall asleep. (Not that all stressors have those as good counters, but still, whatever works.)

I don't want to ramble too much (a bit late for that, I know), so my point is: well wishes your way and all that!

On a lighter note, I also hope Chara's doing alright because they clearly were also impacted by the abort-geno run if that expression is any indication...

Thank you so very much guys. It's kinda hard for me to properly express all my gratitude, but I really mean it when I say it means a lot to me.

I will definitely use that break wisely. Also because I didn't completely recover from my cold and now it's back with a vengance.

EDIT: was at the doctor's today, turns out I got a FUCKING BRONCHITIS

Little fun fact about that panel with Chara specifically:

In the first draft of the script Chara was supposed to look back over their shoulder at Frisk with an angry and disappointed expression. And Frisk used to say "Chara has become a lot angrier since then. I don't blame them".

But after thinking more deeply into it, with the whole counter thing that Chara does for the Player, it made more sense for Chara to be disturbed by themself going along with it and even encouraging it. It ties into their change of mind regarding their own plan way back when.)

[herinsectreflection]

I have been struggling with whether or not to talk about why I've not been updating much lately. On one hand, I know I don't owe anybody anything. This is not my job, I do this for my own enjoyment and I am entitled to post as often or infrequently as I like. On the other hand, I am addicted to Explaining Things, that's why I'm planning to write 300k words about an old TV show I really like. So here, here are the reasons. I'm hoping that by writing them down my brain will stop latching onto them as sources of anxiety. 1) I got a job that I care about. I won't tell you what I do, but I will tell you that I work in a hospital. It takes a lot of mental energy, and unlike previous jobs, I no longer have the time or inclination to sneakily write essays in my downtime. Which sucks. I hate caring about the thing I'm paid for. It leaves less care for the things I'm not paid for.

2) Speaking of getting paid - I cancelled my ko-fi a few months ago. As much as I truly felt supported and humbled by the people who gave my money, I think it didn't help. Writing began to feel like something I owed the people who gave me money, rather than something I was doing because I wanted to.

3) I got into a polyamorous relationship. You ever tried to have free time while polyamorous? 'Nuff said.

4) I introduced one of my (then) partners to Buffy, and we ended up watching S3 while I was also trying to write about S3. I ended up oversaturated on S3. The most fun I had writing the earlier essays was when new ideas would hit me as I was watching. S3 doesn't feel as fresh to me, and so I don't feel eager to get to it.

5) In regards to S3, I've definitely been putting a lot of pressure on myself to say something particularly interesting and unique about it, since it is, you know, The Faith Season, and I have been branded The Faith Explainer. It's a lot of pressure for something that objectively does not matter at all. But that's anxiety disorders for you.

6) I have started new hobbies, new sports, and regular therapy. Which is all wonderful and has enriched my life, but it takes up free weekends rather quickly.

7) Speaking of therapy - you know that tweet that's like "I started new meds and now I'm not obsessed with BTS anymore"? There's a little of that going on I'm not going to lie.

8) Hyperfixations change and apparently I have not been fixating on Buffy for a little while. It's a lot easier to sink hours and hours into something when your brain has decided that that is all it wants to sink its time into.

9) I had major surgery 18 months ago and that has not not been a factor.

10) This post, I got three paragraphs into the Consequences essay and then decided to start Posting. I don't control these things.

11) ANXIETY

[derww]

DEVOTIONS WEEK DAY 6: FRIENDLY/PARANOIA

– Listen, – Spoke begins, sitting with his legs apart and leaning on them, on a block of netherite in the middle of the dupe vault, – I know that I've been acting strangely lately, right?

– That's not the right word,– Mapicc grumbles – he stands leaning against a wall of beacons, arms crossed, – a little more, and you would have completely switched to riddles.

– I know, I know, I'm sorry, – Spoke raises his hands, showing that he gives up, – I thought to keep everything to myself – here, you know, such a delicate matter, anyone can break everything, – he hesitates, – but then I realized that the simplest way to get you in my way is to keep you in the dark.

– I wish I could say you're wrong, – Zam stammers, – but you're probably completely right. To be honest, I've been very worried about you these last few days, all you've been doing is saying mystical phrases and refusing to clarify, I already thought that you were betraying us.

– Fair enough,– Spoke nods, – I'll tell you. But this has to stay just between the three of us. No one else has to find out; otherwise, everything will be at risk. Do you understand?

– What about Ro, – Mapicc interrupts, – even he can't know?

– He can't. Neither Roshambogames, nor TheTerrain, nor Vortexdragon. Just the two of you. It should be a secret from everyone. I can only tell you two.

Mapicc gives him a dark look and shakes his head – suspects, does not believe – but does not continue.

Zam looks at him from under his brows. Even now, holding on to different walls, he and Mapicc feel like one team, – what's the matter, Spoke?

He grins.

– This is a large-scale plan that originates before the start of the season. A glitch capable of determining the order of this world for years to come. The vulnerability is in the very code of reality. The whole dupe war is just part of the setup for it, and when the plan is put into action, nothing that happens at the level of ordinary players will cease to matter.

– Are you going to end this world? – asks Zam with unreadable emotion.

– Oh, Zam, – Spoke shakes his head, – I'm going to do a lot more.

***

– I just can't take it seriously anymore, – Zam shares, gnawing on a cookie. – Ro and his plans, – clarifies, – all his plans, you know? What difference does it make if Spoke turns the server into his playground very soon?

– He's having fun, – Mapicc shrugs, – weren't you having fun?

– Not really. I tried, because you are my team, but I never got better. It's not my thing.

– But you're so calm about the Wormhole. How is this better?

– It takes any responsibility out of the hands of the players, – Zam shakes his head, – what difference does it make if someone has an op? This world is obviously doomed, and you are my team, so why would I bother?

– I don't understand how you think. – And, distracted instantly, – I would have told him, but Spoke is right. The information is too sensitive. He's already taken a big risk by including us in.

– I would not like to fail to meet his expectations.

– I wouldn't want to mess up his plan. It's cool.

– It is... It's cruel, – Zam snorts, dragging his fingers along the masonry floor of the base. A modest poppy is breaking through the seams, – but I will not stop it. I respect Spoke. But, you know what?

– Hmm? 

– Spoke will regret it.

***

– How would you explain it at all, mind who? – Vi throws up his hands. A helpless expression is stuck on his face.

– We didn't like our team anymore, and we came for an interview, – Zam calmly replies, hanging down to see the swirling thick fog.

– To a secret base?... – Vi ironically clarifies, and Zam, grunting, nods, as if it was absolutely normal and definitely not crazy.

– I mean, – Mapicc grins – he, unlike Zam, sticks to the wall, clearly not feeling safe, – the fact that we were able to find it quite counts for passing the test. Not that it was difficult, of course.

– You know we're going to war against you, right? – Subz remarks skeptically, clearly not seeing the need to keep this in his sleeve, – against Ro and Mapicc in the first place, but also against Zam and even Spoke, too.

– Publicly, fight as many as you want, – Mapicc snorts; for him, the idea that he could lead to a decrease in the amount of violence on the server would definitely be unthinkable, – we are here unofficially. As colleagues. We came to say hello and find out how you are here. How are you doing with your idiotic emocult.

Subz facepalms. Vi sighs heavily.

– You shouldn't have been included, – Vi grumbles, but he doesn't sounds angry. – the more people know, the higher the chance that information leaks out.

– You can't return what has been done, – Zam shrugs his shoulders. – but hey, we're your best bet, we keep secrets well, remember the dupe war? – he grins, – we will be friends, Vi, don't worry. Do you remember the end of the season 3? I do.

There is a deadly silence. It is interrupted by Mapicc:

– So, where's the sacrifice room or something?

***

– I don't really like all of this, – Zam sadly admits, poking at the side of a po potion, – it creates too much imbalance between the players. If Spoke gets an op, he will be the only one with absolute power. But now... They're just mortals playing gods. You may be immortal and omnipotent, but you're still human, actually. It's stupid.

– I can understand that,– Mapicc nods. – the way Ro shot Pangi? Absolutely not necessary. Bro, bro, you can pick up a sword and kill him yourself. 

– Yes... – Zam pulls, – I understand the thirst for power and advantage, but what's the point if all this is illegal and doesn't really belong to you? This is... wrong. I wouldn't want it all to be on the server.

– Do you want to betray Spoke? – Mapicc asks imperturbably, and Zam flinches.

— No... No, – he stammers, – of course I don't like it, but there's no point in betrayal. Of course, I can try to take illegal items from people and dump them into the lava, but it will never work. And Spoke will be a god very soon, and none of this will matter anymore. If he wants to, he will remove all these toys. If he wants to, he will give them to absolutely everyone. Then why do anything at all?

– You could tell Parrot what's going on, – Mapicc suggests disinterestedly, and Zam snorts.

– To him? It's too late, the illegal items are already on the server. Spoke has too much pressure on him.

– It must be hard for you,– Mapicc says suddenly.

– Why? 

– Things are wrong for you, and your prospects are meaningless.

– Isn't that true? – Zam is surprised.

– Who knows, – Mapicc shrugs, – I'm not inclined to overthink as you do, but I know that wherever I am, any decision I make counts. – And with a well-aimed blow, he smashes the bottle of potion into the wall.

***

– It's, like, pretty decent,– Zam comments when they get high enough to regard the position as private.

– Who, your self-esteem? – Mapicc laughs it off and intercepts his trident, which is almost completely blackened by the number of effects.

– The Wormhole, – Zam replies with a smile, and Mapicc looks up.

Below them is a huge war for a twisted and broken world. Above them – a blue–blue-purple funnel continues to spin inexorably.

– Well, at least something good came out of it. – Mapicc shakes his head.

– No, there's something else, – Zam adds meekly.

– And what is it?

– It will never happen again.

Mapicc clicks his tongue and nods, understanding.

– You're right about that. Once and never again.

[temilyrights]

simple thing, where have you gone?

alex blake x gn!reader

summary: for @storiesofsvu's holiday bingo "first snowfall" square + also inspired by this ask i recieved. alex knows you aren't sleeping and is determind to find out what's bothering you, and she's bringing out the big guns - hot cocoa.

word count: 3.2k

warnings: nightmare descriptions: feeling claustrophic, being trapped. alex touches r's hair (long enough that she moves a strand from r's eye - no description of hair type/colour). kissing. no use of y/n or pronouns. hurt/comfort with a happy ending.

a/n: this was so fun to write. i think it may be my fav thing i've written. i'm changing up the photos i post because i've seen a lot of people do this format (e.g. @emilys-bangs & @catssluvr - check them out <3) and i think it looks a lot prettier and cleaner than a gif so i'm jumping on the bandwagon.

Alex balances the two trays of steaming cocoas in her hands. The aroma tickles her senses, the creamy chocolate temporarily transporting her back to her childhood, to winter evenings in front of a fireplace with her family. It’s a welcome comfort after five days in chilly Bismarck, ND. She pushes her way into the conference room the team are currently taking up residence in; multiple heads lift up, sighs leaving lips, as shoulders relax at the indulgent scent, and Alex knows she has made the correct choice in grabbing the sweet treat for everyone. 

“Is that what I think it is?” JJ sighs, hopeful and exhausted. 

“I thought we could all use a little pick-me-up, especially in this weather.” She responds as she places the heavy trays on the table. Her eyes dart around the room as eager hands begin reaching for the hot beverages. Your absence is notable, and makes her teeth dig into her lip. A common theme this week.  

“Thanks, Blake.” Morgan nods gratefully. He sips the cocoa, savouring the taste, thrown back to his own happy memories. It’s beautiful how a simple drink can have a room full of agents silently reminiscing. She catches Hotch, tenderly holding the cup, a warmth making its way up his cheeks as he takes a sip, so unlike the stoic figure he tries to hold whilst at work. 

Alex grabs the last two cups from the tray. “Where’s-”

“Out back.” Reid interrupts, worry obvious. She wasn’t the only one that had noticed your declining state. 

She retreats from the room with a smile as the team all voice their thank you’s. The cold night air is less forgiving when she steps outside a second time, biting at her skin, and causing her face to flush pink even as the hot cocoa continues to provide warmth to her hands and she buries her face in her scarf. She finds you leaning against the precinct wall, the glow of a nearby security light breaking up the night sky, highlighting you enough that she can make out your arms wrapped tightly around your body and your stare stuck on a point in the distance as she approaches. 

You look around, the bags under your eyes more obvious in the unflattering yellow light. You haven’t been sleeping, Alex knows. Has been able to hear you restlessly moving around your room late at night due to the thin hotel walls. And despite that, you are always pouring over casefiles when everyone arrives in the precinct in the morning, looking like you’ve been glued to the chair for hours, even though the clock only reads eight am. 

It’s not healthy, you’re working yourself to the bone and she can’t figure out what it is about this case that has you on such high-alert. It was brutal, three victims so far tortured and mutilated, but she’s watched you not flinch at worse.

She’s worried about you. 

“Hot cocoa.” Alex says in lieu of a greeting, a small smile gracing her lips as she pushes the drink in your direction. 

Your eyes widen, mouth opening in surprise, “Oh.” You take the cup from her hands, eyes tracking her face for a moment before you fully accept the gift, always looking for an ulterior motive. 

You lift the drink to your nose, eyes closed as you inhale the chocolatey aroma through the mouthpiece of the lid. A hum leaves your lips, your shoulders relaxing further into the wall. A sense of peace finally settling over you for the first time this week. 

Alex finally rewards herself with a sip of her own cocoa. The hot liquid fighting off the cold air and encompassing the ball of warmth in her chest that is directly related to you. She did good. Anything that eased the now permanent furrow of your brows was a win in her books. 

“Thank you.” You sigh, eyes fluttering open. Your body rolls against the wall, leaning more towards her and creating a little pocket of space where the harsh biting air seems to dull. Her eyes move across your face, caressing every detail, wanting to hold this time while she can. 

“How are you doing?” She asks, trying to keep her voice light so you don’t get defensive, and unintentionally making it soft and intimate in the small space.

You take another sip of your drink, nodding. “I’m okay.” 

She arches her brow, she can’t help it. Her lips tilting upwards as her fingers reach out to ghost your arm. You follow the action, breath catching, and she forces her hand away, scolding herself for wanting more, always having to resist the urge to pull you closer.

She tucks her free hand into her trouser pocket, “How are you doing?” 

You blow out a breath, visible in the air. She wonders if it might snow, the air feels frosty enough. “I just wanted a breather. I was about to head back inside.” 

“A breather from what exactly?” 

You huff, eyes moving away from her and focusing on something across the street. “I mean isn’t it normal to want a little space after five days of being in each other's pockets? I love the team but it’s not like any of us have had five proper minutes alone since we got here.” 

She nods. She would agree with you if you weren’t beginning to get defensive, eyes avoiding hers and feet shifting beneath you. She tilts her head, aiming for casual, but knowing the words will hit anyway, “And this has nothing to do with the fact you’re not sleeping?” 

Your eyes snap to hers, panic obvious, before they flicker away and you bury your head back in your cup. “I don’t know what you mean,” You murmur, words threatening to be lost to the cup as you take another sip of your drink. 

She aches to reach out and stroke the hair away from your face that you are using as a shield. Instead, her fingers flex on her cup, her teeth digging into her lip. “You can talk to me.” She whispers, voice coming out like a promise, a vow. “I want to help, however I can.”

“Why?” You ask, disbelief coating your features, looking at her like she’s a puzzle you can’t solve, no matter how hard you try. 

“Because you’re hurting.” She responds honestly and swallows down the lump in her throat that tries to make itself known. 

Tears build in your eyes as you shake your head. Your eyes flicker over her face and then away again, a soft laugh escaping your mouth as your fingers tap a pattern against your cup. “Just like that?” You whisper throatily, gaze still trapped in the distance.

“Of course,” 

You swallow roughly, eyes finding their way back to hers, lost and scared. An expression she never wants to see on your face again. She doesn’t have it in her to resist again.

She sighs, stepping closer and gently brushes the hair from your eyes. They fall close, a soft breath leaving your lips as you lean into the gesture. She memorises each detail of you, committing the length of your eyelashes to memory, the lines around your mouth, the feeling of your skin beneath her touch. Her hand trails down to your arm and settles there, safe. 

Your eyes flutter open, holding her gaze as you nod gently. ”I haven’t been sleeping well.” You confess.

She waits patiently for you to continue as she notices a few white snowflakes land in your hair. 

Snow. 

“I’ve been having this recurring dream where I'm trapped in this box, and I can barely breathe. It’s—awful.” You rapidly blink away the tears in your eyes. “I’m screaming but no one comes. I’m all alone. And then I wake up and I feel claustrophobic in my own body, all these emotions bubbling up that I can’t release.” Your tears spill over and you reach up to hastily wipe away the mess with a shaking hand. “It’s stupid and selfish. There’s three dead women and I’m crying over nothing.”

“Sweetie, no.” She urges, hand tightening on your arm. “You are none of those things. Those dreams sound atrocious. No wonder you haven’t been sleeping.” 

“I’m so scared to close my eyes.” You whisper, hauntedly. 

“Then let me watch over you, and when the dream hits we can break the pattern. I’ll be there.”

You shake your head, laughing, “What? You’re gonna watch over me while I sleep—”

“Yes.” She interrupts, voice serious and weighted. She won’t let you joke this away, not when you look seconds away from collapsing. Alex would sit there the entire night if she needed to. She would watch over you and keep you safe. 

You swallow roughly, unable to hold her intense gaze, the probing eyes that not only saw you, but took action to help. Snowflakes continue to slowly fall, landing on your hair and face, and making her heart erupt with emotions. The urge to touch is amplified tenfold, the combined beauty of the snow and you almost too much to bare. She forces her hand to fall away. 

“Alex, I will be okay. You don’t need to do any of this.” 

She nods, knows that, but it will not stop her. “You need to sleep. You are destroying yourself pretending you don’t. Why wouldn’t I help when I can?” 

You sigh, frosted breath erupting into the space between you. Annoyed, frustrated, at the thought of needing anyone. “Only because I need to be able to focus on this case.” 

She smirks, eyes brightening. “For the good of the case.” She hums, catching your eye and enjoying the almost bashful expression that coats your features as you huff out a laugh and your gaze skates away again. 

You take another sip of your drink and she mirrors you. It’s beginning to lose its heat, but you don’t complain. Snowflakes continue to fall, and Alex turns towards them, lifting her head into the snowfall. The delicate flakes land on her face, cold and wet, and a smile tugs at her lips. This was the first snowfall of the year, and she could not think of a better moment for it to arrive than when you were standing next to her. 

The chattering of your teeth breaks through her basking, and she turns back around, a disapproving tut escaping her mouth when she finds you shivering on the spot in silence. “Let’s go inside before you get hypothermia.” 

“No,” You protest, hand landing on her arm to stop her moving away. “No, you love the snow. Let’s enjoy it a moment longer.” 

“Honey, you’re shivering–”

“I’m fine.” You rebut, shoulders squaring in stubbornness. And then, softer, from below your lashes, “I want to finally enjoy the snow with you.” 

She melts, putty in your hands. She can’t argue with you, your eyes should be considered a weapon the way she crumbles for them. She nods, and outstretches her hand, “Here, give me your cocoa.” 

You pass it over without objection, and Alex walks a few steps away to dispose of both cups in the bin. Long since cold and of no use to anyone now. She begins pulling off her scarf as she approaches you again, and your eyes widen. 

“Alex–”

She wraps the burgundy cashmere around your neck, bating the hands away that try to interrupt her task. Your shoulders slump, your nose burrowing into the material as a sigh leaves your lips. She smiles and ignores the biting cold now hitting her body as she fiddles with the end of the scarf, making it lay flat against your coat. 

“There,” She whispers.

You sigh, holding her gaze with a furrowed brow. She can see thoughts winding their way through your head, but you don’t voice them. Instead, you stumble forward, your arms pulling her in and wrapping tightly around her waist, eliciting a surprised “oh” from her throat as her own arms hold you close, after a second to compute. Her nose finds its way to your hair, the smell of your shampoo evading her senses and making her hold you tighter.

“Thank you.” You whisper. “For everything.” 

“You do not need to thank me.” She responds, hand stroking your hair before she pulls back to see your face, missing the sight. Your hands remain fixed to her waist, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as you look at her. She tracks the movement, heart thumping in her chest. 

“I don’t want you to think your actions go unappreciated.”

She finds a strand of your hair, one not even in your eye, and stokes it out the way, a choked tut escaping her throat. It’s getting increasingly more difficult to remember herself, to draw back, especially when you look at her with soft, unguarded eyes. The snowfall is getting more intense, covering you in white snowflakes, landing on your eyelashes and melting as you blink.  

“I could never feel unappreciated by you.” She responds, voice barely louder than the wind. Too honest, too much of her heart on show, and you must see it, the way your breath catches, your hand tightening in her jacket. “I just want to do what I can to keep you safe.”

You arch a brow, “You know that’s not always gonna be possible, right?”

She nods, hand moving to cup your cheek and caress the cold skin. You lean into the gesture, your eyes falling close. She isn’t silly, she understands the risks of this job; she knows it isn’t always going to be possible. However, why does that mean she should stop trying? “I know, but sometimes it’s nice to know someone has your back.” 

Your eyes open again, blinking slowly, snowflakes interrupting your sight. “And that's all this is? Just you having my back?” You run your lip between your teeth, your tongue swiping out to moisten the chapped mess you leave behind. 

Alex tracks the movement under heavy eyes, “No,” She breathes, honestly. 

Your mouth parts, your chest rising and falling, eyes focused on her own mouth. Her thumb trails down your cheek, pausing by the corner of your mouth as her gaze finds yours again. You watch her, pupils blown, and Alex slowly pulls her thumb across your bottom lip, feeling the soft flesh, and nearly crumbling at your heaving breath. 

“Alex–” You sigh, eyes pleading for more. Her heart thumps, head hazy with desire, as she finally brings her mouth closer to yours. Your hot breath hit her lips, breaking up the cold, and melting the snowflakes that have landed near her lips. She doesn’t mean to tease you, she just can’t believe she’s here, and is set on memorising every moment of this interaction. 

You have other ideas, a frustrated whine leaving your lips, as you thrust forward and close the remaining distance. Her body hums at the first brush of your lips, needy and impatient, her stomach tingling as you pull her flush against her. She can’t think, can’t breathe, as your lips move together, the sensations perfectly overwhelming. The kisses melt into something gentle and slow, but the neediness never leaves, simmering under the surface. You both balance on the edge of something more; blood rushing through her veins, but she’s not able to forget her location. 

She pulls back, short of breath, the cold air rushing to fill in the space and making her shiver. Your lips are swollen, so kissed. The most irresistible you’ve ever been. She caresses your cheek, “You, my dear, are the person I’m falling in love with.” 

You rapidly blink away tears, “Really?” 

“Of course,” She nods, smiling. “It’s you.” 

You shake your head slightly in disbelief, “You make everything sound so simple.” 

“I think with you it could be.”

“God–” Your voice cracks, and you tug her back your lips finding hers again, frantic, hot and needy. You devour her with bruising kisses, communicating what you fear to say aloud, and Alex catches it all. I feel it too. I want you. I’m scared. Please stay. 

She pulls away, earlier than she wants to. “Honey–” She meets you in another kiss, but drags herself back again, forcibly taking a step back so she can’t fall into you again so easily. 

“Sorry, sorry–” You say between laboured breaths, shaking your head. 

“It’s not because I do not want to.” She explains, a blush rising in her cheeks, that mingles with the permanent one on her face because of the frosty air. 

“I know,” You nod, smiling bashfully. “But we should get back to the team.” 

She sighs and nods. “Yes.” 

“And out of this snow before we catch a cold.” 

She looks out at the white flakes, beginning to settle on the ground. Hopefully in a few hours she’ll be able to feel the crunch of snow under her feet. Your hand rubs up and down her jacketed arm, “When this case is over, I’ll find a place where you can properly enjoy the snow.” You promise. 

Her heart warms, gaze softening as she looks at your earnest expression. “Come on, you’re right, let’s get inside.” She places her hand on your back and pushes you back in the direction of the precinct.

You oblige, shoulders bumping together as you walk. Alex catches your eyes just before she opens the door to the building, eyes soft and her smile just for you. Her hand falls from your back, forcing her touch away, as she pulls open the door. You step inside, subtly squeezing her hand as you pass, making her heart thump. 

She follows, watching as you attempt to shake off the snowflakes that cling to your body. It's useless, they’re already melting, soaking into your hair and clothes, but she enjoys watching you try. 

“There you guys are.” Morgan interrupts, making her break her gaze away from you and to the man watching you in mild amusement. Alex’s not ready to give away just how much she’s feeling for you to outsiders just yet. She wants to keep it between the two of you for now. “Hotch wants us to go over victimology. Thinks something isn’t right.” 

She nods, ready to focus back on the case. “Of course, let’s go.” She heads in the direction of the conference room, mindful of the way Morgan hangs back to speak to you. 

“Is that Blake’s scarf?” She hears him ask, amusement thick in his voice. 

She doesn’t dare turn back around. 

“Yes, I was cold.” You respond, defensive, and likely with an eye-roll.

He whistles, “I see you, casanova.” 

“Morgan–” You protest, voice dripping with annoyance. Alex winces and pushes her way into the conference room, hearing his loud chuckle sounding from behind her. 

The rest of the team is already spilling over folders, and she takes her seat, pausing first to slip out of her wet coat and discard it on an unused chair. You make your way into the room and she can’t resist looking at you from the corner of her eye as you take the seat opposite her, a smile on your face that conveys you can feel her stare. 

She looks away, forcing you out of her mind, and instead focusing on Hotch as he starts to voice the holes in victimology. 

She’d check on you again this evening. There was an unsub to catch.

taglist: @aburman03

[twilightkitkat]

I'll have you know that I am heavily considering writing something based off of your latest Time travel idea. It is already in my list. Because I genuinely cannot stop thinking about it

I love time travel as a concept and I'm honored you were inspired by my idea. I'm sure it'll turn out amazing, make sure to tag me when you finish it.

I'm considering what to write of my own. To be honest I've been a bit busy lately because my finals are in a week and I have a lot of things due and I've also had a lot of plans, but I want to get back into writing more consistently.

For the time travel idea, I think it'd be really interesting to consider his relationships with everyone. He avoids the X men with a passion, absolutely not wanting to get involved (especially when Logan isn't a part of them yet, he checked). Colossus isn't even an adult yet so he can't go bother him either...

His relationship with the Avengers is complicated. He's somewhat of a son to Tony, except for the fact he's much older than he claims and can take care of himself. He isn't as good with Tony at engineering, but he knows how to work with his hands and has brilliant ideas so he ends up hanging out in the lab anyway. Mainly to fiddle with random shit and offer insight that's a little too on the nose considering he only knows some programming (he starts to learn more, though).

With Cap, he's awestruck at first. That's his childhood hero, after all. But once the initial excitement wears off a bit he's able to work well with him, bouncing off his shield like a fucking boomerang and responding with witty quips. Steve grows fond of him pretty quickly.

As for the others, he interacts with them in his own way. He chats with Bruce (particularly about Gene editing, sue him) and has fun jumping up on the Hulk when they fight together. He gets along with Wanda and the Black Widow because he understands suffering and doing what's needed and he has this perspective beyond his years. He makes fun of Hawkeye and buddies up to Thor (mainly because he remembers that scene of him holding him in his arms).

Despite this, he avoids conversations about joining the Avengers. In this life, they actually want him. But also in this life, he has a better team he's waiting for.

[caelyne]

Hi there!

This isn't the HUGEST problem or anything, but it was brought to my attention that someone was claiming an OC of mine belonged to them and was attempting to get art drawn of them under that pretext.

First.. do I even need to say how disrespectful this is? Both to myself, and to any artist that you're attempting this with? Just make your own OC. 🙄

Second, and this is just me wanting to clarify something since I see it a lot and get asked about it occasionally, it actually thrills me when I see people using my art in their pfp's or similar. As long as you aren't claiming my characters, I'm fine with this! If you do this though, I would request that you provide a credit toward one of my pages so that people can see more of my stuff. I would really appreciate that 🤗

aside from that, just a small update on things from my end, i'm very busy with school!!! aahhh!!!!! I'm giving a presentation next week for the thesis i've been working on. i'm very scared!!!!!! but i think also it will be fine. i have a final and another presentation after that to give as well.. so the drawing mood hasn't been very strong lately.

but i'm almost free!!! grrrr!!!! wish me luck.. 😵‍💫

[mymegrokosmos]

coffee dates with seungkwan are your favourite. he's always late but it gives you the chance to take your time, lingering on the menu and finding a nice table where you can watch the people walking by. you like sitting on the patio. partly because it gives your boyfriend the freedom to be as loud as he wants while he vents about his day and fills you in on any new drama happening on set. partly because it's usually a good way to get him to sit closer or to end up bundled into his sweater or jacket.

you can’t complain. well, you could but why would you want to? the view is nice and he always pays. one thing about dating boo seungkwan is that you're absolutely spoiled. you get the princess treatment every day and you couldn’t feel luckier.

"y/n, love?"

you blink at the sound of your name, turning from where you were watching a cute little dachshund in a sweater to find your boyfriend hovering over you. he stands beside your chair, eyebrows slightly furrowed as you push away your thoughts, sweep away the mind cobwebs of whatever daydream you were stuck in for a minute, and smile up at him.

"hi kwannie, have you been there long?"

he shakes his head, sliding into his seat across the small table from you and trying to see what you're looking at. you laugh softly and nod towards the puppy.

"cute, right? look at his little boots."

seungkwan just shakes his head but he's smiling as he picks up the iced americano you ordered for him, using his card of course because he sulks every time you try to pay for coffee on your own delivery or order ahead apps.

"a little silly but I guess it's probably practical."

you nod, sipping your iced latte. "mm, I imagine a lot of things are much harder and more inconvenient when you're that small living in a world made for much bigger beings and you can't even speak to them about it. not in a way that we understand well at least."

your boyfriend just blinks at you. "I've left you alone with Dino and Vernon too often."

you rest your chin on one hand and blink back at him. "and what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?"

"you're spewing scenarios other people would never think of because you're bored. there are so many people you could be watching right now and instead you decided that, while waiting for the love of your life to arrive and grace you with the blessing that is his presence, you wanted to wonder what it would be like to live as a dachshund for day."

you considered this. "okay, fair point. however, I stand by my decision. it was fun."

seungkwan sips his coffee. you smile.

"how was your day handsome?"

and just like that, you fall into easy conversation. the words always flow with seungkwan. the rhythm is soothing, familiar, and when he gets up to drape his sweater over your shoulder after you shiver one too many times (one, that's already too many in his mind why are you even cold to begin with the weather should just immediately conform to your every whim frankly) it feels like home.

you smile, slipping your arms through the sleeves of the thick hoodie and snuggling into the leftover warmth of seungkwan's body. it smells like him, clean, sharp, citrus and a hint of something slightly woodsy. you blush when you glance up to meet his fond gaze, eyes soft as he watches you with a small smile.

"what?"

he shakes his head and takes another sip of his coffee. "nothing, you're just cute."

you scrunch your nose up at him and he laughs. you sip your drink and stretch your legs out, foot just brushing his ankle before you sit back again.

"ready to head home?"

he nods. "we're still on for dinner together, right? and a movie? I already told jeonghan hyung to clear out for the evening."

you nod, smiling as he offers you a hand up. "mm, you know we are. that sounds perfect. please tell me you're making those mimosas you tried out last week?"

his hand moves to rest on your lower back, guiding you back through the restaurant and out into the world again. you lean into him as you cross the street, head resting against his shoulder just slightly as you walk close enough to bump hips every few steps. neither of you moves to fix that. you just smile and let it happen.

"i'm making pizza, mingyu helped me prepare it all ready to pop in the oven when we get back. I just need to preheat it first and use that pizza stone he got us for Christmas."

"ooh what kind of pizza."

"I hope you like margherita."

you nod. "that sounds perfect kwan."

and it is. domestic seungkwan is one of your favourite sides of him. you like when he gets to relax like this. seeing him in comfy clothing, bare faced and with his hair all fluffy from running his hands through it. you sip your drink and watch as he shuffles around the kitchen, humming along to the playlist he put on and you move to light some candles.

it gets dark so early in autumn and while his apartment gets great light, his walls of windows can't compensate for a sun already fully sunken on the horizon. you find yourself smiling as he puts the pizza in the oven and sets the timer, reaching over to pull you into him and spinning you both around the kitchen.

you just watch as he sings to you, swaying with him as you dance to the rest of the song before stilling. his hands rest comfortably on your hips, like they belong there. they do, you think so at least. his expression is soft again, happy, and you can't help leaning up to kiss him.

"what was that for?"

you mirror his words from earlier. "you're just cute."

he sighs. "what am I going to do with you darling?"

you grin. "keep me, I hope."

and just like that you fall into the arms, and charms, of the one and only boo seungkwan. yet again. like you always do. because there's nothing that melts your heart quite like the smile on his face and the sparkle in those eyes. his happiness is truly the most beautiful thing you've ever witnessed, and you want nothing more than to keep being a part of it for as long as he'll let you share in this. in these moments.

in this laughter. in this lifetime of soft, safe, warm, genuine love. the kind no one ever warns you is addicting. the kind that doesn't judge. okay so maybe a little bit. but it's worth all the hard moments, every fight or argument, every little speed bump you have to overcome on the way. it's all worth it when you get to come home to this.

unconditional love, thy name is boo seungkwan and thou art everything.

[nawoken]

Heartslabyul's main story card discussion

5.C: Eyo!!!

Sorry for not updating lately. I've been busy with exams, and the bonus exam period is coming soon. I'm dying (TAT)

Apologiy to my anon, who has made a request but I haven't finished it yet. I will try to finish the thing faster. Hopefully, it will be done in the week since I have a lot of exams next week...

5.C: Anyway, so the new main story has been updated. We have Savanaclaw, and maybe part of Hearslabyul (Since we have Cater's card next).

I just only finished the story up until Jack and Ruggie joined the group. I don't know about the thing after that since the new story just out recently and I still have to wait for Gaskmask to play through and translate... So the things I say here might be wrong, after all, they're just my thoughts.

5.C: So I don't know if aside from Cater, is there anyone else from Heartslabyul this time.

Anyway, Cater's new card is amazing! He looks so cool, and the dominant vibe is crazy!!!

My Goddd, they can't do this to me!!! I've been saving for Lilia's birthday card and they have to come up with a bunch of hot, and prettiest cards I've ever seen during this time?! That's unacceptable!

!!!

5.C: But aside from that, I want to talk about Heartslabyul's upcoming main story cards. I mean, who do you think will get the chance to have a new card?

Excluding Riddle since... you know...

We have Trey; Ace and Deuce left and Hearstlabyul is the dorm with the most characters. So I think we will have at least 3 cards for this dorm. We already have Cater so there are around two slots left!

Personally, I think Trey and Deuce will be the ones.

Trey Clover

Because of the thing between Trey and Riddle in Book 1. For me, personally, it's not done yet. I think they haven't talked it out properly about everything, including their past. And Trey might still have quite a lot of complicated feelings about what happened.

Blaming himself for not doing more or something like that. And, with the formula of some characters with complicated stories, or past aside from the overblot equal to new main story card. I have my bet on him.

My only doubt is his dream might only revolve around Heartslabyul so he will only be in his Heartslabyul uniform. So no card...

Deuce Spade

With almost the same formula but more of an interesting past or appearance than a tragic one. He has an interesting past of being a delinquent, and we all know that everyone yearns to see him in his delinquent outfit. Ơ v Ơ

I mean, they want to make money, no? They gave us the Moray twins' Mer card cause everyone wanted it. So I don't see why they don't give us delinquent Deuce.

My doubt will be. Deuce regrets those delinquent days for making his mother sad. So in the dream realm. We might not have a delinquent Deuce but an honor student Deuce... this comes to two paths. One is a new card and the other is no card at all.

Ace Trapolar

I have nothing to say about him... but I think he will have his Unique magic soon :3

He is fun, mischievous, and also one of the first friends Yuu has. But I'm not sure what type of dream will he have and so I can't imagine if he has a new card, what will it be like.

But, what if they decide to give all three of them a new card to take our money :)

[vevobly]

Yellowjackets Sleeping Habits With Reader Headcanons! [Peri-crash] (1)

A/N: Sorry for the lack of posting, I've been stressed about a lot of things lately in my life; specifically about certain people I know. As usual, these are written along with the idea that you're romantically involved with them. Though, you can interpret it as whatever you want.

Jackie Taylor:

Jackie tries keeping her sleeping space as tidy as possible. She'll always insist on laying out a proper "bed" for the two of you. If you mess it up, Jackie will get really annoyed but will just sigh and let it go because there's nothing that she can do about it.

Jackie is a light sleeper, and cuddles a lot with whoever sleeps with her. If she ever wakes up cold, she’ll low-key scoot closer to you so she can have some shared warmth with you. Jackie will ask to hold your hand so she can fall asleep or maybe have you spoon her so she can drift away to dreamland.

Shauna Shipman:

Shauna tosses and turns a lot in her sleep, more so when she's stressed. When you sleep with her, she'll really cling tight to you like you're her lifeline. Shauna will either bury her face in your shoulder or back and then snuggle up to you after it. For some reason, she really loves hugging your waist a lot.

Sometimes Shauna will wake up in the middle of the night, and trace your features softly out of nowhere or whisper things she keeps only to herself; things that she’s way too afraid to say during the day. Shauna will talk in her sleep sometimes, just muttering incoherent stuff and so.

Taissa Turner:

Taissa will sleep with you, but then it will almost always just get interrupted by her heavy need to watch or check on the others. She has a hard time trying to sleep, so she usually just talks you to sleep or watches you fall asleep before falling asleep herself.

Taissa doesn't move a lot in her sleep and if you didn't know better, you would think she was just a dead body placed beside you. She likes holding onto you while sleeping, her arm will always be draped firmly around your waist. Similar to a boat and it's own anchor, you know?

Van Palmer:

Van sleeps like a rock once she’s out, almost always snoring lightly and sometimes even laughing out of nowhere in her sleep. She loves falling asleep with her arms around you, even if it's awkward or uncomfortable for either of you. Aside from that, she'll just cling tighter to you when she's asleep.

If you thought Shauna was bad with her tossing and turning, then Van is much worse. She moves SO MUCH in her sleep and when she wakes up, she's sprawled out across you—her head resting on your stomach or her leg thrown over yours. She’s very unapologetic about it, and will just grin to it.

Natalie Scatorccio:

Natalie is used to sleeping alone, so it takes her a while to get adjusted with sleeping with you. But besides that, Natalie also has problems with sleeping as well. She'll have nightmares from time to time and hold you a little tighter in her sleep during it.

Natalie has this small habit of lying awake for a while, just absentmindedly playing with your fingers or brushing your hair out of your face before falling asleep. Usually it starts with her being distanced from you, but then in the morning, you'll just wake up with her sleeping on your chest or hugging you.

Lottie Matthews:

Lottie likes talking to you before falling asleep, she'll say a bunch of these sweet things to you (among other things) before dozing off. Lottie is a peaceful sleeper, but if she dreams? She'll talk as if she's awake, and say some things you wouldn't be able to make out no matter what.

Lottie absolutely loves curling up with you. She really likes resting her head in the crook of your neck or on your chest where she could listen to your heartbeat. Lottie with shift closer to you if you ever seem restless in your sleep or hold your hand if you’re having bad dreams.

Laura Lee:

Laura Lee falls asleep easily. And before she does fall asleep, she always makes sure to pray. She prefers to sleep close but not close to the point you guys are overly entangled, she'll have a hand over yours or rest her forehead against your shoulder when she sleeps.

Laura Lee would hum hymns softly until she falls asleep sometimes and with you listening to it, you end up falling asleep along with her too at times. If you ever have trouble sleeping, she’ll talk to you quietly at night about her faith. Anything that might ease your mind, but mostly her faith.

Misty Quigley:

Awake or not, Misty does not have a concept of personal space. She'll insist on falling asleep with you as close as possible, your face literally just inches away from her. She's the clingiest sleeper among all of them, practically wrapping herself around you like a koala when you sleep with her.

Misty will usually play with your hair or your hand while rambling on and on about everything and anything she can to you before she ever even falls asleep. Whether it's a complete surprise to you or not, it's thanks to her rambling that you do manage to fall asleep quickly.

[fragileinthemaking]

hii, i hope youre doing well today and i was curious about some things about your ed (possible tw later?). I've been in your situation (somewhat, not to this extent) and am currently bul1mic with exercise as the form of purging/slowly healing idk. I wanted to know first of all how do you manage to burn more than 1k calories in a day because that is literally INSANE, I never thought that its possibls so I'm really really curious about your methods.

I also wanted to know your opinion on healing and the ed itself. Do you wish you never had one, do you hate counting c@ls, do you miss your life before the ed? Did it help you in any way (did you notice physical changes)? Are you experiencing any health problems because of it, are you dizzy or yellowish, have you ever fainted? Do you feel proud when skipping meals or anybody points out something ab the ed? Do you wish to heal but don't have the courage/will to, are you forced into healing, are you comfortable in the ed and want to continue and not start a healing process? How do you feel when you overeat or can't exercise the c@ls out? How do you feel about the future, do you wish to continue like so, do you wish to heal or neither of them?

I know it's A LOT of questions actually and I'm really sorry about it, I will explain now. When I was deep in my ed I never actually thought about it and what is going on with my life and I'm genuinely curious as to how it sounds and how my perspective was, I'm really trying not to offend you right now so please don't answer to anything if I'm offending you in any way!!

Hii I'm fine with any questions but damn that's alot (not in a negative way just alot of words and im bad at reading large groups of text)

First of all tw for ed stuff anyone that doesnt want to see this

with the burning 1k c4ls. my (almost) daily exercise typically burns around 500-700. secondly im a minor, im in school, pe is a legal requirement and that burns between 300-900 depending on what we do so combining those i can burn up to 1600 a day or if i do my normal stuff for twice as long that can also reach 1000 which i sometimes do on weekends when i have more time.

healing is something which if you want i highly encourage you get. i wish i had never gotten one, i wish i had never started counting c4ls, i wish i had spoken to someone before it got worse. i no longer feel like im able to get help and ive gotten myself to deep in the rabbit hole to get my mindset out so if you want help and its never to late then do it. get the help you need ill support you all the way.

i hate counting c4ls. i only eat in public when i have to and i always have to secretly look at the c4ls and hope nobody sees. ive written them on my hand afew times when theyre really random numbers and have been questioned about it so just had to lie to my friends which i hate doing. life before an ed fells like it would be so much more free and i would be more careless and do whatever i want without wondering how many c4ls in burning/gaining from that activity. if i could go back to when i started having an ed i absolutely would and change whatever i can to not end up like this.

the only physical symptom ive had is my stomach getting smaller but im waiting for the day my thighs / ass (idk what a more appropriate name would be) get smaller as they make me insecure. im not sure if its from having an ed but im almost always dizzy espescially when i stand up to fast. ive never fainted or been yellowed.

when i skip i dont feel proud more like im doing something correct and nobodys ever pointed out an ed but if they did i would deny it but secretly be proud someone noticed. i dont want to heal. i might have in the past but currently i have no plan to. i want to continue my ed without help. (my mindset is just 'if its a problem its your job to fix it' and i dont want to fix it). ive been put in counselling which has 6(i think) sessions left but if they think im really bad then i might be put in actual therapy. ive hinted about an ed with things like 'i often skip meals' and 'i just forget' or 'i dont have an appetite' and secretly hope they might catch on and get me help.

when i overeat or cant burn the c4ls i just feel sick and like im a failure. theres not really anything else i just feel bad and like i failed at having an ed. for the future my main goal is to reach my ugw and stay there getting lower if possible but not higher unless i really want help.

That was alot of questions but i feel like this is a place where i can talk about whatever(especially my ed) without anyone judging me or knowing who i am. im glad i could think about my ed on a deeper level other than just 'hmm weight be gone pls' so like thanks?? idk i hope i answered everything i might have missed a question. im always open to any question anyone has i just like talking to people and getting to know them.

[xxx047]

WIP. I've been thinking a lot lately about fantasy au with Bruno as siren and Leone as witch (or witcher? I don't really understand how male witches are called)

Add there a hunter, who can change the direction of flying objects, a kid with eagle, another kid with no ability to control dark magic inside himself and son of God, whose father almost destroyed half of their world. Oh, and also the Assasins, who are hunting after them, as they have the key for release of the Diavolo himself.

Cooking this fic rn.

[relaxxattack]

old ass homestuck here (been reading since 2013, read with it all the way until the end of act 7 but i consider that the true end and never plan to read the epilogues) but i gotta agree i didn’t care for the squared sprites when they first appeared late in act 6 and i really don’t like them much more years later. i found davepeta slightly interesting but at the end of the day they’re the only one who even stood out enough to even pay attention to and unfortunately looking at them was visually very unpleasant due to the constant color flashing.

random disclaimerrrr this is really just my personal feelings, i'm not trying to make a statement about what is "true" or moral or whatever. i want to stress that i'm not against people making meaningful interpretations of davepeta... i understand the appeal of a trans/plural character. it's just hard to feel like any of that was intentional?

power to hussie for making jokes; but it's kind of confusing sometimes to frequently see davepeta - what felt like a really obvious joke made at the expense of the audience - touted like they're the most genius, intentional, meaningful, well-thought-out character ending or trans representation

especially with nepeta in particular... i guess it's left pretty up to the viewer to decide whether or not she was really done dirty at the end, but. personally i still think she was done fucking dirty. the death -> fefeta -> davepeta pipeline was not very rewarding in my opinion. she also never had a choice in any of these? it was not a consensual fate. she wasnt allowed to explore her own identity or choose this, her identity was simply shafted once again after a long pattern of it being shafted and mocked

davesprite is a suicidal character who gets made to end himself. and i guess thats empowering as a metaphor for some trans people but for me it was like ??? physically absorbing another person and then ceasing to exist didn't relate to me heavily but maybe it does for others! i've heard some talk about it being plural too, which i can also see, but they don't act like that's at all intentional in the story. i've heard a lot of "dave struggles with not being the alpha dave so he gets to stop being dave! :)" but why does he have to? he was dave first and longer, shouldn't the meteor dave change his name? 'dave gets to finally stop being a boy and embrace being a trans girl' does she do that? or is her individualism taken from her and regifted to a catgirlboy that is not actually trans at all but textually stated to be identifying as half of one cis girl and half of one cis boy?

guh i am trying so hard to not sound invalidating to how other people feel empowered by this character. while also explaining how its Not for me. once again disclaimer i LIKE what people have done with davepeta it just feels like, strangely un-empowering to me for these two characters to have their agency taken away in such a manner.

rose's dead corpse who literally just watched the love of her life die in front of her face gets dug out of her final resting place and immediately starts throwing herself at every women in the vicinity

arquius in particular is one i see get completely nostalgia goggled too because every moment they were on screen was painful dialogue-wise; but these days arquius is thought of like a vehicle for hal and equius gender thoughts. which is a concept with merit because of course both hal and equius have stuff going on gender wise and it makes sense to combine those but like. the character wasn't like that in canon and it never felt like they were meant to be like that. most of the time they were.. jokes. insulting jokes.

i get WHY its read a trans or plural narrative. just as a trans and plural person i did not read it that way or think that was what the author intended... and i find it a little uncomfortable in that regard

[nightlark100]

Consequences (Pt 10)

Me: Time for some Steph!

Steph: Noooo please don't drag me into this

--------------

Stephanie was making breakfast when the doorbell rang. She frowned. After the initial flurry of activity when her dad was declared missing (if she never had to see their lawyer again it would be too soon), she'd mostly been left alone. The only person who came to the house regularly was Peter and he had a key.

She eyed her plate longingly, trying to decide if she could ignore the visitor. When they rang again, she sighed and brushed her hands off on her flannel before heading to investigate.

She opened the front door and leaned against the frame. Outside were two people who looked far too perky for the time of day, a man and a woman both clad in bright t-shirts bearing the slogan 'Virginity Rocks'.

"Can I help you?"

"Miss Lauter?"

"That's me."

"Hi! It's great to meet you. I'm Jerry, and this is Jeri. We're youth ministers at the local church and we run the abstinence summer camp."

"Sorry, all my charitable donations are reserved for animal welfare charities."

Steph saw something flicker across Jerry's face for a moment but he quickly smoothed it out and carried on speaking.

"Oh we're not here for money. A member of our church asked us to come. We were hoping to speak with Grace?"

"Her parents sent you."

"Her mother. She's very concerned about Grace's wellbeing and we've always been close, she comes to our camp every year," Jeri explained.

"I can see your teachings really worked," Steph said snidely. A little unfair to Grace, yes she knew, but she couldn't resist the dig. Once again Jerry's expression faltered.

"You've got a bit of an attitude problem."

"I've been told. Although not usually by people who want to come in my house."

Jerry opened his mouth to say something but girl Jeri grabbed hold of his wrist, silencing him.

"Please, we just want to know Grace is okay. Her mother is worried and so are we."

Steph bit her lip. The woman at least seemed sincere.

"You can come in. I'll see if she's up for visitors. And if she's not, you go. I won't have you stressing her out."

"We understand."

Steph eyed them warily, before stepping aside and letting them inside.

"If you can just wait here for a minute," she told them before disappearing up the stairs to Grace's room. She didn't particularly want to leave them alone in her house but given how erratic Grace's moods had been lately (for good reason), it was best she check on her first.

She knocked and heard Grace's cheery voice from inside. Ahh, a good day then.

"Hey Grace. How you feeling today?"

"Pretty good! I didn't throw up this morning,"

"That's great. Think you can stomach some pancakes?"

"That sounds lovely Stephie!"

"We also have... visitors. To see you. Said they're called Jerry and Jeri?"

"Oh!" Grace paled. "Wh... why are they here?"

"Your mom asked them to come. I can send them away if you want?"

"No... I... Jeri is really sweet but... Jerry... boy Jerry can be... a lot."

"How about I send girl Jeri up to see you on her own?"

"Thank you," Grace gave her a grateful smile and started tidying herself up. Steph patted her shoulder and headed back downstairs. The two Jerries were lurking in the entrance hall, standing very close to one another. Like... weirdly close.

Steph cleared her throat, drawing their attention and sending them skittering apart. It was honestly kind of amusing.

"She said she'll see you," she told Jeri. Both of them made for the stairs but she intercepted boy Jerry. "Sorry, I don't think it's appropriate for a man to be in her bedroom. You can wait down here."

Boy Jerry looked more than a little annoyed but allowed her to lead him into the kitchen where she resumed making breakfast, moving silently as he watched her intently.

He looked poised to say something when the sound of the front door opening diverted his attention.

"I have returned from my quest!" called Peter. "Bearing the jam that my fair lady has requested!"

He entered and presented her with a jar of fancy jam in a dramatic fashion.

"No more fantasy TV shows for you," Steph told him as he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I thought it was just Grace and yourself living here?" Boy Jerry's voice was icy and Peter stiffened, half turning.

"Jerry."

"Peter."

"What's he doing here?"

"They stopped by to see Grace."

"They? Oh... right."

"I can see that Mrs Chasity was right to be concerned about her daughter's wellbeing if you're... cohabiting."

"What, you think I'm going to get her more pregnant?" Peter asked, raising an eyebrow. "Besides, we're not 'cohabiting'. I just have a key. And... wait, why am I justifying myself to you? This isn't camp."

"You actually went to their camp?"

"Yeah. Ted made me."

"Doesn't seem to be the kind of thing Ted would be in favour of."

"He's not but he had to go when he was a teenager and he thinks if he has to suffer, I should too. They confiscate my emergency chocolate and I always end up finishing the summer with a serious hand cramp."

"Peter!" Steph laughed. Peter flushed, realising what he'd accidentally implied.

"From making wallets!"

"Well it looks like you could use a little bit more wallet making Spankoffski, it doesn't seem like you've taken our lessons to heart."

Pete made a face and slumped into a seat next to Steph, resting his head against her shoulder. She smoothed down the side of his hair, drawing a sleepy smile.

"You not sleep well?"

"Bad dreams."

"That's your guilt for your sinful ways manifesting," Jerry said snidely. Peter narrowed his eyes.

"Well at least my sins only manifest as dreams and not as eight foot tall hatchet wielding woodsmen or piles of dead bodies."

"Huh?" Steph asked. Boy Jerry had gone pale and his expression was flicking back and forth between the pleasant neutral mask he put on and barely supressed rage.

"We're leaving. I'm going to inform Mrs Chasity that she should retrieve Grace at once."

"Grace is eighteen. She can't be 'retrieved' like a package," Steph said. Jerry scowled and went into the entrance hall, calling up the stairs for girl Jeri who appeared quickly. Her face was creased, clearly distressed by his shouting, and she seemed to be on the verge of tears when he forcefully steered her out of the house.

"You know the lords said about Grace killing 'dirty dudes'?" Steph said after silence had once again fallen on the house. "I vote him."

Peter laughed softly, before pausing and sniffing.

"Steph, I think your pancakes are burning."

-------------

Boy Jerry is hard to write :(

Consequences (pt1)

In which the Lords in Black aren't fully satisfied with Grace's sacrifice (or, the pitfalls of an abstinence only sex education)

---------------------------------

She hadn't wanted to kill them, Grace thought numbly as she stared down at her dirt streaked hands, unable to shake the image of her latest victims from her mind. Yes, she believed that the behaviour she'd witnessed from the young couple, drunk and making out in the park, was dirty and perverse but she didn't want to kill them. And yet when she had gotten near, it was as though she was seized by a terrible hunger and she just couldn't stop herself.

She slipped to the ground, resting her head against the side of her bed and felt tears burning her eyes. It had been a few months since everything with Max... since she had given in to the primal temptations and sacrificed her chastity to send him to hell. She should feel... something. Relief? But her insides felt like they were rotting. She'd done so many terrible things and she didn't even have her unwavering faith to fall back on anymore, not after what she'd seen in the school gym. She didn't know if the colourful figures had been demons or if they truly were gods but it felt like jagged claws had slashed apart the fabric of her soul, leaving jagged doubts behind. Doubts and hunger.

At first she'd been able to ignore it but it had gotten stronger. It would rise in waves, crescendoing down onto her when they peaked and leaving her scrabbling for purchase as her mind crumbled.

Even the brief moments of peace she usually got between the waves had been lost to her now as she found herself battling daily with nausea, sometimes barely making it from her bed to the bathroom in time. She had tried to hide it as best she could but she knew her parents were concerned, had heard them whispering while she lingered in doorways. If it continued much longer they'd want to take her to the doctor, but she knew medicine couldn't help her. Her soul was sick, that was the cause. She would just have to pray harder. Maybe she could ask Stephie and Petey for help? Surely her friends would agree to pray with her when they saw how bad things had gotten.

Struggling to her feet, feeling her stomach twist painfully as she did so, she retrieved her phone from her bedside and sent Steph a text asking to meet up.

Her friends would help. They had to.

[mercymaker]

✶ 𝐇 𝐀 𝐋 𝐒 𝐈 𝐍 & 𝐌 𝐀 𝐋 𝐄 𝐀 𝐍 𝐄

he brought something softer, sweeter out of her—the twinkling remnants of a person she was, perhaps, supposed to be. not a drow raised by a lolth-sworn spy—ever-scheming, trusting no one—but a dark elf who had a place on the surface that wasn't hiding deep in the forest.