#i've been thinking about them a lot lately

[fidgetyhands]

One thing that I've been working on is comfortable-for-others recovery from oversteps.

Despite my efforts, sometimes I will notice that I've gone on too long about something the other person isn't interested in or brought up a topic the other person doesn't want to talk about. When that happens, I try to no-big-deal say that I shouldn't have done that and change the topic to something lighter or less owned-by-me. I don't try to make it smooth or hidden.

So for instance, "And that was a lot of detail about my aunt, sorry. How are your tomatoes going?" or "That's more information about transplant surgery than knit night needs. Have you seen any interesting patterns lately?"

It would be kind of rude to cut someone else off this way, but I don't think it's rude to cut myself off this way. If I've read the other person wrong and they do want to stick with the previous topic, it's easy for them to say that after I've interrupted myself and handed them access to the conversation. If they take the interruption gladly, then I have some additional information about how to interact with them in the future. Either way, I'm not centering my feelings about it and I'm giving them a conversational path to follow if they want.

Wait, so you said that you can learn to trust others by building friendships, but how does one go about doing that? Wouldn't someone I don't know be creeped out or annoyed if I suddenly walked up and started talking to them?

Friendships are built of repeated low-stakes interactions and returned bids for attention with slowly increasing intimacy over time.

It takes a long time to make friends as an adult. People will probably think you're weird if you just walk up and start talking to them as though you are already their friend (people think it's weird when I do this, I try not to do this) but people won't think it's weird if you're someone they've seen a few times who says "hey" and then gradually has more conversations (consisting of more words) with them.

I cheat at forming adult friendships by joining groups where people meet regularly. If you're part of a radio club that meets once a week and you just join up to talk about radios, eventually those will be your radio friends.

If there's a hiking meetup near you and you go regularly, you will eventually have hiking friends.

Deeper friendships are formed with people from those kinds of groups when you do things with them outside of the context of the original interaction; if you go camping with your radio friend, that person is probably more friend than acquaintance. If you go to the movies with a hiking friend who likes the same horror movies as you do, that is deepening the friendship.

In, like 2011 Large Bastard decided he wanted more friends to do stuff with so he started a local radio meetup. These people started as strangers who shared an interest. Now they are people who give each other rides after surgery and help each other move and have started businesses together and have gone on many radio-based camping trips and have worked on each other's cars.

Finding a meetup or starting a meetup is genuinely the cheat-code for making friends.

This is also how making friendships at schools works - you're around a group of people very regularly and eventually you get to know them better and you start figuring out who you get along with and you start spending more time with those people.

If you want to do this in the most fast and dramatic way possible, join a band.

In 2020 I wrote something of a primer on how to turn low-stakes interactions with neighbors and acquaintances into more meaningful relationships; check the notes of this post over the next couple days, I'll dig up the link and share it in a reblog.

[leviackermanstoes]

GOD PLEASE I NEED ALUCARD X FEM READER WHO IS ALSO HALF VAMPIRE. It would be good if we got something along the timeline of castlevania nocture. Maybe Alucard mets the reader after decades or so. Reader has the same personality as Alucard but she’s more straightforward and obviously very supportive of whatever Alucard is on about. YEARNING ALARM INCOMING.

Bring back male yearning🙏uh I kinda changed it up a bit but it should still be okay I hope😭

---

He's begging babe, stay, stay, stay...stay...stay.

-very little warnings on this one. Just lots of fluff and cute alucard. Sappy vampire shit. Minor sad themes🫶

-

you stood by the training dummies watching as richter practised his moves. It was late into the afternoon, and even later, when maria returned with the fruits, she said she had been told to gather.

"Told by who?" Your brows furrowed.

"Alucard" maria shrugged her shoulders and walked off.

Staring as your heart skipped a beat, you found yourself wanting to fall into the grass to your knees. Alucard? There was no way. Not your alucard...? You stood up and told richter training was over and walked him back to the castle where all your suspicions and fears were made true.

There, at the bottom of castle steps, stood None other than adriān alucard tepes in all his glory, tall and unwavering Like a pale, golden brick wall. As he conversed with maria, you hoped you would be able to sneak past him in order to avoid drama or a sticky situation.

But as soon as his golden eyes met yours. You were done for.

"___?"

He said it shakily and breathy as if he didn't believe it was actually you. He stepped away from maria and walked towards you where his head almost fell off his shoulders. You weren't fake. But how were you still here? Still so you, still so...beautiful.

Alucard's hands were still shaking when he reached out to feel your shoulder, immediately taking them away in seconds so as not to make you uncomfortable. You didn't know what to make of all of this, your former love and the only man who ever made you feel worth something was standing infront of you after all these years.

50

Fifty fucking years.

"Adriān?"

It's not like you believed it yourself either. I mean, he was here, just standing here with the other teen you had been training. Standing before you like, he'd never left that position in all those decades he spent apart from you. Would he even want to love you again? And if you tried to tell him how strong your feelings for him still are, would he reciprocate them?

"We should uhhh...head inside before the storm comes over"

Richter stuttered on his words as him and maria watched the two of you. Alucard turnt his head, leaving his eyes on you for as long as he can before he puts them to richter.

"Head inside, we shall meet you momentarily"

And as the rains began to pour, young richter belmont and maria renard ran inside, leaving their mentors to stand in the freezing rain. It had been maria's guess that alucard hated rain, so she had to give him her extra bread at dinner.

"Where have you been?" He asked shakily.

Truth be told, you had never seen him so...like this. So desperate yet so far away that telling him anything either brought him closer or too far away to hear the rest of your words. Afraid of admitting to him that you had been thinking about him every second since the two of you split up.

"I've been out fighting. Protecting targoviste"

"Targoviste?" He repeated.

Alucard puts his lips together. You're so unsure of what to do that it's almost impossible to find any kind of words to say to him, so you give him a smile and walk inside with either tears or rain gathering on your face.

-

Richter belmont watched as you stood on the castles balcony, pondering over the last hour that you went through. He thought maybe that you and alucard were just having a rough patch and were actually the best of friends, but after seeing the whole day having gone through without your both talking, he knew something had to be more than just not talking.

"Miss?" He said

"Yes, richter?" You turnt your head.

The tall teen walked to you with a curious head on him. You knew he wanted to know about you and alucard, but you didn't quite know what to tell him because for all sakes of heaven, you didn't even know what to tell yourself.

"I know what you're here for richter. Sit and I'll tell you everything you want to know"

Who were you to deny your young trainee what he asked for? A simple sappy, emotional story that he willing wanted to hear.

"Where do you want me to start?" You asked him

Richter's face dwindled. "At the start. I want to hear everything if you can"

You nodded at him. Staring down into the down dark forest, only a few thoughts came to your mind. It's all so thorough, so inextricably bound to you through your heart and soul that you don't even know how much you can say without falling into pieces.

"Alucard is... someone very important to me. He's been there for me when I needed him and when I didn't"

"When you didn't?" Richter interjected.

"Yes. Often, he would appear even when I was mad at him or angry with him or after we'd had a fight. Alucard would've hugged me even if I had told him i never to see him again" you almost laughed to yourself.

You weren't sure if richter was going to understand the level of love, but you figured that if he wanted to know, he may have some idea.

"So is he your husband?" He asked

And well

You didn't want to answer that. "No. He's not. But he is someone I love dearly"

"So why did you not talk to him for decades?"

You sighed. And just like every other year, someone had asked you that you put your head in your hands and didn't care whether or not your hair was in front of your face. As the cold wind blew on your dress gently or tore it to shreds.

"It's hard to say." You rested your chin on your hands, holding your head up as you found the words. "People grow apart sometimes"

"You don't seem like people who grow apart"

For a 19 year old, he was oddly wise in what he said. Just like trevor. Who might have been an idiot at times, but there was a time he couldn't give the best words to help you.

"Where's the time going to spend all of it together?" You replied.

----

It wasn't til late the next night when alucard finally spoke a word to you after your moment. His black clothing was blending into the dark forest as you both walked, only the bits of gold gleamed.

He was still as beautiful as the day he let you go. Still so angelic and bright-eyed. Still looking like everything you wanted. Still so riddled with haunt and dread but managing to look ethereal.

"So...what have your decades been like?" Is all you managed to say.

Alucard stopped in his tracks, you turnt back to look at him. His face was undeniably read with something visibly...almost pissed off. In a way that made you suddenly scared for your life.

"Adriān?"

"Don't"

"What's happened?" You asked

Alucard only stood there in silence as if he expected you to know what he was thinking. But you weren't a mind reader. Maybe he had had a couple of bad years and you had triggered him by asking.

You stepped closer to him.

"Is that seriously all you have to say to me?" His brows are tight in frustration.

"I-im sorry i-" alucard tightly grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to him.

All the air between the two of you was sucked out and all hope of having a civil conversation was almost gone when his cold hand came to your cheek. But he stopped himself.

"Fuck"

And then he stepped away like he'd made a grave mistake. You could now only see his broad back and smell him on you, all over and in the air. Just like every day.

"Please don't leave me in the dark again adriān"

"For so long," his voice was gruff and smooth. It's tense like he struggled to speak. "I waited to see you again. Gods above, I prayed to every single one of them just to see you again. I would've scoured the burnt edged of the world to find you again"

He turnt to you, golden eyes immediately found yours.

"And now that I have you, it's like every fibre of my being has been torn to shreds and sealed in a box only you can open again. I am on fire when I am with you, thin like paper so that you may never feel I am hiding anything from you, and yet..."

Alucard sighed, his fangs baring just slightly. Something that always made you drown. Alucard was beautiful, stunning, and angelic, and he knew it. You felt like he did use it against you sometimes. As trevor once told you, "Pretty people get whatever they want by looking at you"

And alucard was a perfect example.

"Yet you look at me as if you don't know anything about me. Like I am the only person in the world you despise"

Despise? Not a word you would use to describe how you felt about alucard...your Adriān...your lover. You're everything. You want to say maybe you could but you know absolutely know from the bottom of you heart that there is no corner of your soul where adriān tepes is despised by you.

"I don't despise you. Gods, i could never despise you. " you breathed out

Tears welled in your eyes. "For gods sake, you stupid vampire, come and kiss me, would you"

Without a second thought, alucard almost teleported to you, and within a second, he is kissing you like there's nothing else in the world to do. You can feel the scratching on his nails as he grabs at your hair, but you don't care. You don't care about anything except for the fact that the man who has entirely captured your heart has his lips on yours for the first time after decades, almost centuries of pining over him and begging at the sky, adrian alucard tepes finally has you in his grasp.

[livingdreams97]

Jackie Taylor -- "Our Destiny" (Part 1)

Jackie Taylor x Male reader/oc

Summary: What happens when a plane crashes in the middle of the Canadian Wilderness full of teenagers? How something as traumatic as that can affect the people and and how they find comfort in each other.

Words: 6.190

NEXT

Masterlist

(For the reader I thought of Wolfgang Novogratz, but everyone can imagine reader how they want.)

_________1996__________

Your POV 

I drop the pieces of firewood I've collected into the pile on the ground and sit down on the stump to rest for a bit. I've spent the last three hours walking between the woods and the cabin collecting firewood non-stop, and I need a break.

From my vantage point, I can see what some of the girls are doing and I sit there for a moment watching them. Things are a bit tense lately, some of the girls are acting a bit weird and especially Lottie.

After what happened at the Seance a few weeks ago, I've noticed that Lottie has been a bit quieter, more withdrawn and distracted, as if she were in her own world.

This worries me a lot, because I don't know if her behavior could be due to the lack of medication or something else. It's the first time since she was diagnosed that she has gone so long without taking her medication and I don't know what the consequences of this could be.

Taissa: Hey.- she greets me standing next to me. -I've been thinking about something and I want to know if you'd like to join me.- she tells me and I focus my gaze on her.

Y/n: Hey.- I greeted back looking at her with curiosity. -Should I be afraid of what you thought?- I asked her with a certain humor.

Taissa: Considering you're scared of bees... - she mocks me with a big smile.

Y/n: I'm not afraid of bees, I'm allergic to them, ALLERGIC and I could die if they sting me. - I reproach her with an offended grimace.

Taissa: Whatever.- she dismisses me with her hand and a smile. - I've been thinking and I realise we should get out of here in search of help or something to eat. It's possible that the animals are migrating or that there's someone out there.- she tells me and I look at her a bit skeptically.

Y/n: I don't know Tai, if there was someone they would have appeared a long time ago from the noise the plane made against the ground.- I comment somewhat unsure.

Taissa: But what if there is someone or a small town far away enough so that they didn't hear the accident? - she tells me with some confidence. - What if there is a small town or a cabin like this one a few days walk away with people who can help us? - she hypothesizes with a small smile.

Y/n: And if there isn't one? - I ask trying to be realistic, since even with her approach the radius that the noise of the accident would had reached, is very extensive.

Taissa: And if there isn't, maybe we can find animals or something to bring back to camp.- she insists with a confident gesture.

Y/n: I don't know Tai.- I deny getting up from the stump. -I can't just get up and leave Lottie here.- I sigh looking towards where the mentioned one is.

Taissa: Lottie is old enough for you to keep an eye on her.- she assures me, crossing her arms.

Y/n: Are you going to tell me that you haven't noticed a differece in her? - I ask her, focusing my attention back on her.

Taissa: Different? More like a little disturbed.- she comments and I look at her badly, making her throw her hands in the air. -Sorry, it was a joke.- she apologizes immediately. -But still, it's not your responsibility.- she assures me placing a hand on my shoulder.

Y/n: She's my twin sister, of course she's my responsibility.- I remind her with a grimace. -I can't just leave her here for I don't know how many days.- I deny letting out a tired sigh.

Taissa: But you're not leaving her because you want to, but because we're going to go find help or food for everyone. This way you're going to help her a lot more than being behind her all day and worrying about everything she does or says. - she assures me with a slight smile and letting her squeeze my shoulder.

Y/n: I'm not sure.- I murmur trying to think of what is the most appropriate thing to do.

Taissa: Give it a tought and tell me.- she tells me in a calm voice.

We both stand in silence for a few seconds, before a commotion comes from the front of the cabin and out of the woods appear Travis and Nat with a dead deer.

Van: Meat, Fuck Yeah! -she exclaims excitedly as she passes by us quickly.

We all immediately approached them, happy that they were able to hunt and that we could eat something other than belt soup.

Van: Wow, that thing is knarly.- she says when both hunters pass by her and she sees the deer's antlers.

Akilah: It's like Freddy Krueger and Bambi had a baby.- she comments with some disgust when they leave the deer on the ground.

Javi: I'm not eating that.-he immediately denies looking at the dead animal.

Ben: Guys, relax.- asks the trainer approaching the deer. -Deer shed their antlers every season. This is normal.- he explains calmly. -Shauna, do the honors?- he asks her, his breathing a little labored from the effort.

Shauna quickly takes the knife out of her backpack, approaches the deer and begins to open its stomach to empty it.

As soon as she opens its stomach, we can all see the worms moving through the deer's organs and I have to look away to avoid throwing up.

Jackie: That's normal too, Coach? - she asks with a disgusted gesture.

Lottie: I'm not crazy.-I hear her mutter in front of me on her knees on the floor.

Laura Lee: No.-she denies in a whisper. -You have a gift.-she assures me and I open my eyes scared at her answer.

Taissa: We cannot keep fucking doing this, you guys.- she assures moving to the side. -What happens when winter gets here? We fucking starve to death or freeze?- she says, upset by the situation. -We can't count on getting rescued anymore. All of us know that is not going to happen, we have to save us.- she says confidently. -That's why I'm gonna go find help. I'm leaving in the morning, come with me if you want to get out of this fucking hellhole. - says as she walks safely into the cabin.

I just stay silent for a few moments, before sighing and walking towards the lake to be alone for a while.

I need to think about what I have to do and it will be impossible to do so near the abaña and the girls. So I walk calmly through the forest, thinking about the pros and cons of going with Taissa or staying with the rest.

Once at the lake, I sit on the shore on the stones and watch the slight movement of the water.

I don't know how long I spend staring at the water, until I hear footsteps behind me and when I look over my shoulder I see Jackie holding a bucket.

Jackie: Hey.- she greets me tiredly, walking towards the shore and filling the bucket with water.

Y/n: Hey.- I greet back watching as she puts the bucket aside and sits next to me. -Do you think Taissa's idea is crazy?- I ask her after a few seconds of silence.

Jackie: I don't know.- she answers with a sigh. -What I do know is that in a certain way she's right and that scares me.- she tells me in a low voice.

Y/n: Is the great captain Jackie Taylor afraid of something? - I asked with humor and receiving a slap on the arm from her.

Jackie: Idiot.- she insults me while laughing and I look at her with a proud smile for making her laugh.

Since the accident, I have noticed that Jackie is the one who is having the most difficulty adapting to the situation and that her mood is increasingly sad.

She is the one who has always been sure that they would come to rescue us and I have realized that with each passing day, that hope of being rescued is disappearing more and more from her eyes.

Y/n: Now seriously, you're afraid that they won't rescue us, right? - I ask her softly.

Jackie: It's been months and still no one has shown up.- she answers me with some apprehension in her voice.

Y/n: That doesn't mean they aren't looking for us.- I tell her to try to cheer her up a little.

Jackie: No, but it doesn't mean they'll find us either.- she whispers, placing her knees against her chest and her chin on them. -We both know that with each day that passes without them finding us, the probability that they'll stop looking for us and leave us for dead increases.- she explains to me with some fear and sadness in her voice.

I sigh with some sadness at her words, because in a way she is right and I don't want to think about it.

I approach the soccer captain, standing just a few inches away from her body and placing my hand on her lower back and moving it in circles to try to comfort her.

She leans into me and places her head on my shoulder relaxing her body against mine.

Y/n: They will find us, I promise.- I whisper against her head, resting my forehead on it. -But I need you to promise me something.- I ask her, swallowing hard.

Jackie: What? - she whispers, getting closer to my body and hugging me around my waist.

Y/n: Promise me that you will take care of Lottie when I'm not here.- I ask her with some fear that the madness I'm doing is permanent.

Jackie: What are you talking about? - she asks me, separating from me and looking at me with concern.

Y/n: I'm going to go with Tai.- I answer and she immediately shakes her head.

Jackie: You can't go, you can't, not you.- she tells me with some panic.

Y/n: I have to do it.- I assure her, looking her in the eyes. -I have to try, Lottie is not well and we can't continue like this much longer. The least I can do is try and seek help.- I explain to her with apprehension about the situation.

Jackie: But what if it doesn't work out? If some wild animal appears, or you guys get lost and can't get back, or any of the thousands of other things that could happen? - she asks me worriedly, waving her hands in an exaggerated manner.

Y/n: Nothing is going to happen.- I assure her, grabbing her hands and trying to calm her down. -The worst that could happen is that we don't find anything and we have to come back empty handed.- I explain to convince her.

Jackie: But what if...- she continues with the possibilities but I interrupt her before she can say anything else.

Y/n: Nothing is going to happen.- I tell her confidently and without taking my gaze off hers.

Jackie: Nothing is going to happen.- she repeats, nodding her head and looking me straight in the eyes.

We stay a few more moments looking into each other's eyes, before she puts her head back on my shoulder and hugs me tightly around the waist.

I put my arms around her shoulders, resting my head on hers and letting the sound of the lake be the only thing that can be heard.

Jackie's POV

It's been two and a half days since Akilah, Van, Taissa, Misty, Y/n and Mari went out in search of something.

As I promised Y/n, I've been keeping an eye on Lottie and talking to her at least a couple of times a day, to see how she's doing.

I try to ask her simple questions, so she doesn't feel like I'm interrogating her and get defensive.

But at most ,she will lose focus during the conversation and stare off into the distance for a few moments before continuing with the conversation like nothing. Which is not entirely worrying.

Plus, she and Laura Lee spend all day together, so it gives me some peace of mind that at least she's not out in the woods alone.

On the other hand, I have discovered that my best friend, the person in whom I had complete trust, has lied to me and betrayed me in the worst possible way.

Our entire friendship based on sincerity and trust has been a farce.

I knew something wasn't right the moment she told me her story with Randy and how she got pregnant.

If what she told me about losing her virginity at Mari's birthday party were to be true, she would have told me as soon as it happened. But she didn't and the biggest lie is that Jeff and I took drunk Randy home that night.

So it couldn't have been after we left and it couldn't have been before either, since Shauna was with me, Jeff and some of her friends all night.

But I didn't know that the reason for her lie and the person she actually slept with was my boyfriend.

My best friend has betrayed me in the worst way possible and has slept with my boyfriend. Also, in her diary are written all the times they did it and it wasn't just once, it was several times.

I don't know how she could do this to me, sleep with my own boyfriend and then get pregnant by him. How could she do this to me. How can she look at me in the eyes and lie in my face with no trace of guilt.

I don't even know how to look at her face without imagining them together, without feeling betrayed and imagining everything else she could have lied to me about.

I quickly get up from my chair when I see Misty, Mari and Akilah appearing through the forest, almost out of breath.

Jackie: Oh, my god. What happened?- I ask them, walking quickly and holding Misty before she fell to the ground.

Shauna: Where are Van, Tai and Y/n? -she asks, also getting up from her chair.

Misty: She...she told...she told us to leave them. We had to get help.-she tells us as best she can between breaths and Nat and Shauna grab her.

Lottie: Where is Y/n?-she asks Mari with a certain panic in her voice.

Laura Lee: Show us which way to go.- she asks her, grabbing her by the shoulders and staring at her.

Misty points to the path they came from and we all quickly set off.

We run quickly, following the instructions and directions given to us by Misty, who is at the head of everyone.

After running for a while, the darkness begins to hide everything around us and we decide that the best thing to do is to walk. So, lighting some lanterns, we walk quickly, looking everywhere.

Shauna: Van! - she shouts from in front of me.

Laura Lee: Taissa!- she shouts loudly from the front of the group.

Lottie: Y/n!- she shouts from behind me with obvious concern.

Laura Lee: Are you sure you came this way? -she asks the one leading us through the darkness.

Misty: I.. I don't know. I can't see anything.- she answers with uncertainty in her voice. -It's so dark.-she says looking around.

We stopped for a few seconds to catch our breath and looked around for something to guide us. It was then that we heard a noise and saw one of the flares rising between the trees.

Laura Lee: It's them.-she points with her finger and we quickly start running in that direction.

We run for a couple of minutes between the trees, immediately spotting the three of them on their knees on the ground and looking very bad.

Lottie: Y/n!- she exclaims, running towards her brother and kneeling next to him on the ground.

When we get closer we can see why the urgency, as Van has her face covered with rags and we can see the blood on her clothes. As can the pale color on Taissa and Y/n's faces.

We set off immediately, with most of the girls carrying Van, Misty and Laura Lee helping Tai, and Lotti and I carrying her brother.

As I help him up from the floor, I place a hand on his side and feel something cold and wet against my palm.

I raise my hand to my face, feeling my heart racing in my ears and my throat feeling dry as I swallow. I open my eyes, startled, when I make out the reddish color of blood in the light from the lanterns.

Jackie: Y/n.- I murmur scared seeing the boy's pale and sweaty face.

Misty: We have to get them there as soon as possible so we can stitch up their wounds.- she says hurriedly, encouraging us to walk as quickly as possible to the cabin.

So as quickly as possible, we managed to get to the cabin in record time and the girls got going.

Misty: Who goes first? - she asks as they clear the table, place candles around it, and Akilah searches for the materials.

Y/n: Van has to go first.- he answers in a low voice. -She is worse than me, I can hold on.- he assures the group with a small grimace.

Shauna: Van, are you ready? - she asks as they lay her down on the candlelit table.

The redhead lets out a grunt of pain, as Lottie and I place Y/n into one of the chairs.

Misty: We have to take off his clothes from the waist up. - She approaches us and reaches out her hands to do it.

Jackie: No.- I stop her immediately. -Lottie and I will do it.- I assure her, standing in front of her so she doesn't come any closer.

Misty: With the shirt you will have to press the wound to stop it from bleeding further.- she explains to me and I nod knowing what I have to do.

I turn towards the injured boy, approaching with uncertain steps and observing him in more detail thanks to the light from the cabin.

The black haired man, his green eyes are half-closed due to tiredness, has lost all the color in his face, you can see the sweat soaking his face and the locks of hair that are normally pushed back are stuck to his forehead.

On the other hand, the blue t-shirt and the grey sweatshirt are covered in dirt and blood, as are his jeans.

I quickly approach him, aware that he is not in a very good condition and that every minute is worth gold.

Lottie: You're going to be okay.- she whispers, stroking his hair. -Nothing's going to happen to you, It won't let anything happen to you.- she assures him with conviction and I look at her a little scared by the tone in which she is saying it.

Jackie: Lottie, help me take off his clothes.- I ask my teammate in a hurry.

Y/n: Damm Jackie, I knew you had the hots for me. - he scoffs with sense of humor, letting out a grunt when we move him to take off his sweatshirt.

Jackie: In your dreams.- I tell him with a slight smile, to try to ease the tension and play along.

When we managed to remove his shirt, you can see the wound on his side and it doesn't look good at all.

You can see the wolf's teeth and the cuts they left behind. There are at least five long cuts and about seven fairly large perforations on the side of his stomach and back.

You can see the blood gushing from the wounds and I have to hold back my gagging at the image.

Jackie: This is going to hurt.- I whispered softly, before placing his shirt over the wounds and pressing with both hands to stop the bleeding.

Y/n: Fuck.- he grunts in pain trying to get away from my hands.

Jackie: Lottie hold him.- I ask her, making her grab him by the shoulders and hold him still.

I press my hands against the wounds again and this time thanks to Lottie, Y/n doesn't get away from my hands no matter how hard he tries.

But Lottie's strength is affected when Akilah starts stitching Van up and she starts to let out pain-filled grunts.

The brunette immediately sits on the floor, placing her knees against her chest and covering her ears with the palms of her hands.

Y/n: Lot, don't listen.- he growls trying to get his sister's attention. -Lot, look at me.- he stretches his hands towards her with great effort. -Charlotte Matthews look at me right now.- he orders her and she surprisingly does it. -Come closer.- he asks her with a sigh.

Lottie walks over to her brother and he immediately pulls her close to his body. As I apply pressure to his wound, I can hear him whispering things to his sister to reassure her and distract her from what's happening on the other side of the room.

But after a few moments, I stop hearing the whispers from Y/n and I look at his closed eyes.

Jackie: Shit! - I exclaimed scared, stopping pressing on the wound and grabbing his cheeks. -Y/n, wake up. Keep your eyes open, wake up! - I exclaimed hitting him on the cheek trying to get him to react but nothing.

Lottie: Y/n.- she whispers, separating herself from her brother's thigh and looking at him scared. -It's not your turn.- she murmurs confused, placing her hand on her brother's bare chest.

Jackie: Girls hurry up, Y/n has lost consciousness! - I shout for them to hear me, without stopping hitting the boy's cheeks and trying to wake him up.

Natalie: Don't fuck with me.- she growls when she reaches us and takes his pulse. -Does anyone else know how to sew?- she asks the girls with some panic.

Misty: Me! - she exclaims quickly raising her hand.

I look at Nat, a little unsure and worried that Misty will stitch up Y/n's wound and I can see that she feels the same as me.

Natalie: We have no choice.- she murmurs, looking at me with apprehension. -Misty, grab a needle and thread quickly. We'll put him on the floor.- she says, grabbing him by one of his arms.

I do the same and with Lottie's help we get him on the ground as quickly as possible.

Misty: I have everything.- she tells us, throwing herself on her knees beside us. -I need more light.- she tells us while she begins to put the thread on the curved needle for fishing.

Nat: I'm going to get more candles.- she says getting up and I do the same with her.

We both grab some candles and run back to where Y/n, Lottie and Misty are. We place the candles on the ground near the wound, lighting them so Misty can see what she's stitching.

I swallow hard, feeling my hands shake from fear and worry that Y/n will die.

I move to the other side of Misty, kneeling at his hip and grabbing his hand. I bring the hand to my chest, praying that Misty will stitch him up quickly so that the bleeding stops and he can survive.

Your POV

I pull the chair over next to Jackie's and sit down a bit carefully, trying not to let the stitches pull too hard. But I can't help but let out a little grunt as I lean forward and take my share of the bear meat.

Jackie: Are you okay? - she asks me in a whisper, placing her hand on my thigh and leaving a light squeeze there.

Y/n: Yeah, I just moved too fast.- I play it down with a smile and she returns it.

She also leans forward and receives her plate with her ration from the redhead, while the others talk about whether we should wait for Nat and Travis or not.

Van: Lottie, last night you said we wouldn't be hungry much longer. How did you know? -she asks my sister and I feel my body tense immediately.

Everything that happened last night was absolutely crazy and I don't know what the hell went through their heads to make them act the way they did.

Because the mushroom excuse doesn't work for me, since we're all supposed to have eaten them and not all of us tried to sacrifice Travis. Especially not with the way my own sister, Shauna, and Mari jumped on me when I came down from the attic with Jackie, before Travis showed up completely out of it and they jumped on him immediately.

Lottie: I just did.-she answers, chewing what she has in her mouth.

Y/n: She didn't know anything, it was pure coincidence, okay? - I say seriously and avoiding looking at my sister at all costs.

Jackie: Yeah, it's called getting lucky.- she supports me, giving my thigh another squeeze. - The bear probably just smelled us and came looking for food, okay? Probably had something wrong with him. - she says in a logical way to take a bite of her meat.

Misty: It didn't look sick.-she denies sitting to my right.

Mari: Honestly, at this point I don't even think I care.- she says sitting at the table. -Can we just eat?- she asks, wanting to leave the subject aside.

Van: Wait.- she asks, drawing everyone's attention. -Should we maybe... say something? Like... like thanks or grace or.. whatever- she asks, somewhat unsure.

The dining room falls completely silent for a few moments, during which no one knows what to say or how to act in response to the question.

Taissa: Yeah.-she nods, leaving her glass on the table. -Just make it quick.-she asks her girlfriend and I can't help the frustrated grunt that escapes me.

Van: Lot?- she asks my sister and I can only roll my eyes and continue eating.

Lottie: Sure, let's join our hands.-she says leaving her ration aside and shaking hands with the trainer and Shauna.

From my peripheral vision, I see a hand approaching from my right, so I look up from my plate and see Misty holding out her hand to me.

I just stare at her for a few seconds, alternating my gaze between her eyes and her hand, before shaking my head and turning my head towards Jackie, seeing that she thinks the same as me.

Lottie: For this gift from the wilderness, we give our thanks.-she begins to say and my right knee begins to bounce from the tension.

Van: Thank you.- she says to my sister's words, urging her to continue.

Lottie: To the spirit of the bear, who sacrificed so that we could survive, we give our thanks.-she says and they all give thanks. -And to the ancient gods of the sky and the dirt, we give our thanks.-it continues and everyone thanks again.

Misty: You two didn't say it.-she whispers looking at the girl to my left and me. -Jackie and Y/n didn't say it.- she accuses us loudly so that everyone present knows.

Y/n: The fuck is your problem?-I asked the curly-haired blonde with a murderous look.

Jackie: No, I didn't thank the dirt for bringing us a brain-dead bear. What is even happening right now? -she asks, impressed by the group's attitude. -The fuck is wrong with you all?- she asks the girls, leaning forward.

Taissa: It's fine, you guys. They don't have to... -she comes to our defense but the team captain interrupts her.

Jackie: Oh, shut up Tai.- she scoffs at her. -Don't pretend like you weren't a part of it. What, we're... we're just not going to talk about it? - she asks everyone present. -We just howl at the moon now and have fucking orgies or support incest?- she says and I tense up even more at the last thing she said. -And somehow we are the ones who did something wrong? -She shrugs her shoulders, angry at the whole situation.

Ben: Whoa, wait, what?- he asks completely surprised by what he just heard.

Shauna: Jackie, calm down.-she asks her best friend, but I can see that this only makes her angrier.

Jackie: Don't tell me to calm down!-she exclaims angrily, getting up from her chair. - What were you gonna do to Travis last night, Sahuna? - she asks, approaching her and crossing her arms. -Answer me.-she asks after a few seconds of silence.

Shauna: I don't know. I don't remember. -she answers with some uncertainty, her gaze fixed on the ground.

Jackie: Bullshit.-she reproaches, not believing what she has just heard. -You had a knife to his throat. If we hadn't come, you would have killed him.- she accuses her with total honesty.

Shauna: Just shut up!-she exclaims angrily, getting up from her seat. -None of this would have happened if it wasn't for you. If you hadn't...-she accuses quickly, approaching her without finishing the sentence.

Jackie: Hadn't what? Huh?-she asks without reacting to his proximity. -Stolen him? Wow. The irony.- she scoffs again. -Shauna was fucking Jeff behind my back, you know that?- she asks and I open my eyes in surprise. -Yeah. That's who's really responsible for her little bundle of joy.-she tells everyone present and I stare at her, worried about her.

Shauna: It was you.-she accuses her with a certain hurt tone. -You read my journal.-she explains without taking her eyes off the one who was her best friend.

Jackie: How could you? - she accuses her with pain in her voice. -You were my best friend. You.. you.. you don't even like him.-she says in a hurt face.

Shauna : And how would you know? - she asks her angrily with a broken voice. -You're so obsessed with yourself, I'm surprised I'm aware other people even exist.-she reproaches this time with some malice.

Y/n: Girls, I think it's best to stop now.- I say, getting up and leaving the empty plate aside.

Shauna: You know you never even asked me if I wanted to go to Rutgers? You just assumed I would go wherever you wanted.-She reproaches her with more and more annoyance in her voice. -You tell me what to wear, what to do, who to hook up with. I don't even like soccer!-shouts the last part. -But you just get everything you want. All the time like it's nothing. And the rest of us, we are just extras in the movie of your fucking life.- she accuses her angrily and with some pain in her tone.

Jackie: Oh, my God. You are such a cliché.- she exclaims, hurt and upset by what she just said. -Oh, is the.. is the sad little sidekick mad?- she asks with a certain sarcasm. -Did I force you to live in my shadow, Shauna? It must be hard being this jealous all the time.-she says, earning a short laugh in response.

Y/n: Girls, seriously, stop.- I ask them taking a couple of steps towards them, but a hand on my sweatshirt stops me. -What are you doing?- I ask Van confused and she shakes her head.

Jackie: What? You're so fucking jealous of me, you can barely breathe.-she reproaches Shipman, hurt and angry with her.

Shauna: Are you quoting Beaches at me right now? - she asks with a gesture of confusion.

Jackie: What? No.-she denies, confused by the question.

Shauna: I'm not jealous of you, Jackie. I fell sorry for you. Because you're weak and I think that deep down, you know it. - she says taking a few steps towards her. -I'm sure everyone back home is so fucking sad to be losing their perfect little princess, but they will never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are.- she continues without measuring her words. -Or how high school was the best your life was ever going to get.-she finishes saying in a somewhat aggressive way and I can see the damage those words are doing to Jax.

Jackie: Fuck you.-she says with a slightly broken voice. -That's it. You know what? That's it. Get.. get out.-she orders pointing to the cabin door.

Y/n: Jax, stop.-I ask her, trying to get closer, but the redhead keeps holding me by the clothes and preventing me from doing so.

Jackie: Go on, get out.-she repeats with a little more force.

Shauna: No.- she shakes her head, her eyes wide.

Jackie: I can't be around you, I... I can't even fucking look at you right now.- She says completely hurt.

Shauna: Well, that sounds like your problem. So maybe you should leave.-she ignores the order and stands in her place while maintaining eye contact.

Everyone remains completely silent for a few seconds, processing the words of the two friends and the situation that is happening at this moment.

Mari: Maybe you would be better off, since we're all so crazy.-she reproaches the captain, supporting Shauna.

Ben: Okay, everybody just stop. Nobody is going outside.-he orders us all seriously.

Lottie: Stay out of it, Coach.-she tells him with a murderous look.

Y/n: No, you stay out of it. You already did enough last night.-I say to my twin, giving her a dirty look, angry and fed up with her attitude.

Jackie: You know what? Fine.-she says walking towards the sleeping things and grabbing her blanket and pillow.

Taissa: Jackie, come on. Don't go outside.-she asks her friend, somewhat tired.

Jackie: Don't pretend like this isn't what you wanted the entire fucking time.- she responds with obvious anger.

Y/n: Don't be silly, Jax.- I ask her, releasing myself from Van's grip and walking towards her. -The temperatures are dropping and sleeping outside is dangerous.- I assure her, worried about her.

Jackie: I don't care, I'm not going to be where I'm not wanted and clearly this isn't it.- she denies looking me in the eyes. -I don't even know who you are anymore.-she says to the one who was her best friend.

Shauna: Or maybe you never did.-she assures her and that is all she needs to leave the cabin and slam the door.

The room is tensely silent for a few moments, until I hear a murmur and explode.

Y/n: What the hell is wrong with you two? - I ask completely angry. - We are all here together, for better and for worse, and no one has more right than anyone to be in the cabin. - I comment looking at the pregnant girl. - And let me tell you that as a friend, you leave a lot to desire. Not only have you betrayed your best friend, but you have dumped all your frustration on her and used her insecurities against her to hurt her. What kind of best friend does that? - I ask her completely impressed by her evilness.

Shauna: You don't know anything.- she claims, directing her anger towards me.

Y/n: And I don't need to know.- I deny between my teeth. -With what I just saw, it seems more than enough to know what kind of person you are and believe me, you are not the type I want by my side in a situation like the one we are in.- I finish looking at her with repulsion, before grabbing two blankets and a pillow to leave the cabin.

Lottie: You can't go out.- she forbids me, standing in front of the door so I can't open it.

Y/n: Charlotte, get out of the way right now.- I ordered her, annoyed by her attitude.

Lottie: No.- she denies strongly and crosses her arms.

Y/n: You move or I move you. But I'm not staying here with you two. - I assure her, looking at her with my eyes half closed.

Lottie: No.- she repeats in a slower manner, but with the same authoritative tone of voice.

Y/n: You asked for it.- I remind her grabbing her by the arm and pulling her to the side, trying not to use too much force to hurt her, but enough to move her.

Once I push her away from the door, I open it and walk outside, slamming the door behind me.

At the sound of the door, Jackie turns her head towards me at the noise and frowns when she sees me.

I just walk towards her, dropping the things in my arms to the ground and sitting on the wooden log carefully.

Jackie: What are you doing? - she asks me in a low and broken voice without taking her eyes off me.

Y/n: Keeping you company.- I answer shrugging my shoulders. -You're crazy if you think I'm going to leave you here alone and stay in there with them.- I explain looking at her as if she were crazy, causing a small laugh from her at my gesture.

Jackie: Thank you.- she whispers looking at her hands.

Y/n: You don't have to thank me for anything.- I assure her with an amused grimace.

I put one of my arms over her shoulders, pulling her close to my body. I place a kiss on her forehead, feeling her snuggle up against my chest and hug my waist tightly, but careful of my wounds.

She looks up at me, placing a hand on the back on my neck and pulling at It to join our lips in a soft kiss. When she pulls away, her eyes shine full off life ande a small smile appears in her face.

We just sit together outside watching the sun disappear and observing the flames of the fire move in the darkness of the forest night.

[fireladyofink]

Oh God.. uuhhhh.. been a minute since I tried one of these..

Skipping 1, hate first person, just can't do it, not even read it.

2 is 100% Andlàtkyn. There's some issues here and there but it will always be my pride and joy.

Due to not posting on AO3 (even though I really should be), 3 is mostly ineffective. Except Wattpad has tags. I'd say UTAU, dragons and crossover.

4, lol. Literally. Lately I keep using that (only when texting others) and it's bothering me. I feel like a simpleton because of how much I'm saying that, eugh.

5 I've honestly learned a lot while researching fics. For one, I found out lantana berries are toxic to humans yet taste like blueberries, and I have them growing in my backyard. They're actually my favorite plant! I love their flowers; so pretty, and they have such a uniquely funky smell as well. Part of why I adore them, it stands out so much without being a bad smell. And the leaves have a sort of citrus smell? I love lantanas.

6 I don't know. I've thought about requests due to the money, but I feel like I'd either struggle to start writing it or get carried away with it- or straight up not finish in a reasonable timeframe. Commissions? Like art commissions? Maybe in a few years when I'm more confident in my skills and also somehow have a drawing tablet to properly draw digitally. Something like that.

7 Either or. I love making sickeningly sweet coffee or various different teas.

8 Is honestly hard to decide! Off the top of my head I can think of Dust initially meeting Killer with the hilariously absurd question of "What do you mean you don't have a mouth? How are you speaking right now? Your ass?"

9 Believe it or not it was basically when I first got a phone and commented a short story in the comments of a YouTube video. Someone replied with a suggestion of Wattpad. The rest is history, lol.

10 Off the top of my head I can't think of anything beyond something very specific for the fic I've been thinking about again lately, Ninjagaësia. Only time I've written outside of the UT fandom too, I specifically want to get around to writing that version of Zane more. What I had planned for him is fun as hell. An absolute badass.

11 Lots of comments, votes and people enjoying it. Which, continuing the above mention, Ninjagaësia doesn't qualify for. Pretty unsuccessful, but for once I don't really care.

12 Undertale AU's. I doubt I'll ever leave, either.

13 No. Hell, my ultimate fic of Andlàtkyn was written throughout the later half of highschool. I am technically working on an original story on the sidelines, I call it my worldbuilding project because I'm building up so much lore in this world before I actually touch on the story itself outside of a vague idea. About 60-ish different species of people, including the were-diseases. Last I counted, anyway. I'll be working on it for years, I know it, and I don't mind that either.

14 Comments talking about my fics on said fics. Actual interactions! It brings me joy. 🧡

15 My family is well aware. I don't bring up a lot of details but the last time I went into vague detail with my mother it was over a scene in Andlàtkyn (no direct spoilers) and she interpreted it weirdly and now she teases me by asking if I'm killing babies again! A bit awkward..

16 Actually finishing a damn story. I don't mind the periods of no writing until I get inspired again, but what annoys me is when I can't seem to finish anything. Only ever finished Andlàtkyn. I still have yet to write anything for the sequel to it, either! Zeradelsída is still just a bunch of loose plot points..

17 I am semi successfully writing benevolent eldritch horror. It doesn't intend harm, but it is truly.. horrifying nonetheless. The uncertainty of someone knowing he died, feeling his own heart stop beating, and feeling something OTHER seep inside and force it to start again, pulsing in his veins, fusing with his anatomy, permanently altering both him and itself into something completely unknowable.. I'm rambling. Anyone who hasn't seen my Wattpad, read Awakened. If you don't mind ridiculously long fics, read Andlàtkyn too!

18 I have at least 7 I mostly expect to finish, with at least 4 others just kind of.. there. I don't think I've posted any of those, either. I also have ideas inspired by dreams that I'd love to write down someday, though don't really expect to actually codify.

19 I kind of just don't. I work on different projects as the inspiration hits, take a backseat for a month or so, then come back to either the same project or a different one.

20 Hmmm.. Hard to think of something specific. I'm leaning towards stuff in Andlàtkyn. I don't really have a favorite kiss scene because I don't do romance. I write adventure! Andlàtkyn has some side romance though- not that any of it is my favorite. Platonic stuff, though.. I'd say my favorite is honestly Lust and Alter incidentally befriending each other and becoming venting buddies. It's the cutest thing, their friendship is adorable and wholesome despite the background angst. I didn't write nearly as much of them as deserved.

21 Honestly it's mostly lack of inspiration that I'm pretty sure stems from depression. If I could get an ADHD prescription or depression meds I'd probably be a lot better but like. I am completely broke. So much so that those issues aren't even in the top 10 of pressing problems solved with money.

22 Given I've literally only done it once.. not really. I guess I post it around everywhere I can think of in excitement?

23 That one continuous dream I had that went on over a month centered on a Nightmare that was freshly corrupted. He was honestly so nerdy and adorable despite putting on the brave and mildly "evil" front. The boy. Him. Goddamnit I want to write that at some point.

24 Honestly I can't think of anything for this one.

25 Oh yeah, I can't think of anything off the top of my head but there's a lot I'd like to fix in all of my stories, lol.

26 Kind of? It's a more recent development, did it for Zeradelsída which still has yet to be written, did it for that Ninjagaësia too. A little bit of a broad, even vaguer outline for things I want to happen in Awakened, too? More like events, no particular order or connection.

27 A few of those WIP's that haven't been posted... Okay technically just one. There's also the very first fic I wrote that is subsequently the only one I've ever deleted.

28 Angstiest often coincides with cursed for some reason, so I'll just go with the ending of Andlàtkyn for the Apple Twins.

29 I kind of just.. don't. If I do, I start hating everything, and because I'm not THAT bad at spelling and grammar I think it's mostly fine the way it is.

30 Oh absolutely. It's particularly obvious when one looks at Andlàtkyn, which I wrote over the course of 4 years. Really neat transition, if I ever manage to do it, I'd rewrite the beginning a little to match the rest when crossposting to AO3. If I ever get around to that.

31 Again, Andlàtkyn. That fic is my baby, man. It's so precious to me.

32 Honestly I don't know for this one, which is weird.

33 100% Ink of Awakened. My little boy. I have some friends that would rib the hell out of me if they ever found out, lol. Thankfully the main one doesn't even remember that he has a Tumblr.

34 I was not expecting how hard of a question this is! I thought it was Andlàtkyn, but thinking about it.. I don't think so? It might simply just change depending on which one I'm currently fixated on, but at the moment I think my favorites to get that on is Awakened and Ninjagaësia, second of which already has basically nothing to begin with.

35 I don't have anything, oof.

Fanfic/Author Ask Game

Write a scene from [insert fic] in another character’s POV

Which of your fics is your pride and joy?

What are your top three most commonly used tags on AO3?

What are some words or phrases you feel like you overuse?

What’s something you learned while researching a fic?

Would you ever accept requests or commissions?

Coffee or tea while you write?

What is your favorite line/section from [insert fic]?

How did you get into writing fanfiction?

Is there a character or ship you'd love to write for, but haven't yet?

What makes a fic 'successful' in your opinion?

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Do you have an 'official' creative writing background such as a degree or previous experience publishing?

What makes you happiest? New fic comments, kudos, bookmarks, user subscribers, story subscribers, or Tumblr asks?

Does anyone you know in real life know you write fanfiction?

What do you struggle with most when writing?

What is something you recently felt proud of in your writing?

How many WIPs do you have and how many do you expect to finish?

How do you get over writer's block?

Share your favorite kiss scene from [insert fic]. If there's no kiss scene, share your favorite moment of intimacy (romantic or platonic)

What stops you from writing more in your free time?

Did you do anything special to celebrate finishing a fic?

What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

Which scene/theme was the inspiration for [insert fic]?

Are there any moments in [insert fic] that feel "blurry" to you? Is this a stylistic choice, or would you go back and clarify the descriptions if you were given the chance?

Do you ever "prep" your fics with outlines or warmups before you start writing, or do you just dive right in?

Are any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Have you noticed your style change over time?

What fic meant the most to you to write?

A character you enjoy making suffer.

A character you want to protect.

What is your favorite fic to get comments/messages on?

Wild Card: Ask me something else!

[coyotelip]

jegulily waiting for a child microfic part 2! careful || part 1 || @taylorswiftmicrofic || wc: 812

“It's so small. Smaller than I expected,” James says in a whisper as he wraps his arms around Lily's five-months-pregnant bump.

“Can you grow a bigger one?” Lily replies with a laugh as she continues to carefully run the razor along James' jaw, shaving away the remnants of his morning stubble.

Five minutes ago, James was doing it on his own, looking at himself in the mirror with a frown. There was blood just under his lower lip where he hadn't been so careful with the razor. So when Lily walked into their bathroom in the morning, she couldn't ignore her husband's embarrassing suffering and set about helping him.

James now has his back to the mirror, leaning slightly so that she can work with his face at her height. His hands are on her round belly, stroking her bare skin, running his fingertips along the white stretch marks on her skin. Lily's hands gently circle his face and apply gentle pressure, shaving away the stubble along with the shaving foam that cools his skin.

“Oh, I wish I could,” James says, returning to the conversation, only half jokingly. That way he would be able to stay at home all the time as he wanted. James doesn't say it, but Lily's eyes meet his and flicker, noticing the sadness in her husband's gaze.

“I've been thinking about something…” she begins cautiously. James tilts his head slightly, but doesn't stop her from continuing to manipulate the razor. “You can raise your price list, right?”

“Why?” he asks, a little puzzled. James has been working as a massage therapist for eight years now and rents an office in the city center. And he'd be lying if he said he wasn't proud of his success - the best athletes and several celebrities in their city use his services, and some even invite him to their homes to give them private sessions. And of course, James charges a lot of money for this level of skills and experience.

“Oh, you know, your regular clients can afford it. I'm sure they'll stay with you even if the price doubles,” Lily picks up a damp towel to wipe James' face of the remaining shaving foam. Her voice trails off as she adds, “And you'll be able to afford to spend more time at home, right?”

Her green eyes look at James with hope. She knows how much James has been putting on himself these past few months. Of course she does. He doesn't even have to voice those thoughts and feelings, Lily and Regulus read his every thought in those moments when James comes home from work late at night and finds them on the couch wrapped in a blanket and covered in brownie crumbs. When he leaves for work early in the morning, sometimes while both of his partners are still in bed. When Regulus talks enthusiastically about something that happened during the day and about new information he found on the Internet about newborns.

James never says what is bothering him because of his particular and biggest fear. That they will stop sharing with him everything that happens in his absence so as not to hurt his feelings.

There are days when James wishes his job was as flexible as Regulus' and he could just work from home. Although their plans for the big house already include the idea of a separate office space for James for clients who are willing to travel out of town to visit him.

Putting down the towel, Lily cradles James' face in both hands, and he rubs lightly against her palms like a cat hungry for touch. The man has to cover his eyes to keep the tears from falling because of the flood of thoughts that has overwhelmed him. It seems that he is the one who has experienced all the emotionality that is typical during pregnancy.

All this time, James' hands remained on Lily's rounded pregnant bump - these days he tried to maintain physical contact with his wife whenever possible. Even when his profession required him to be skillful with touching other people, he had never been so careful and caring with anyone but his partners.

Lily gives him this time to think and gently strokes his cheeks. And James begins, “I think…” when something happens.

A light push coming from somewhere inside the woman's belly. A very light impact wave that James feels under his palm and makes two pairs of eyes look down.

James doesn't remove his hands, but instead spreads both palms to cover the entire surface of Lily's belly. And he feels it again - a kick. A small hand or foot that responds to the sound of his voice, to the warmth of his hands, and wants to say hello.

This time, James doesn't close his eyes, but lets the tears roll down his cheeks.

[lyracarvahall]

HeartBeat Sync Part 31

One Last Show

As the hot water pelted her skin, Y/N felt the exhaustion of the day's events set in. The shower felt good and she felt clean, but it didn't fully pull the clouds from her mind. She was glad to have men who loved her, but would they have if the bond didn't make them?

She couldn't afford to spend too long contemplating as she had promised Jongho she would be there to support them. Getting dressed in the same clothes she came in with felt a little weird post-shower but it was all that was there.

Walking out to the dressing room, it had cleared out completely. The makeup kits were left behind for touch-ups throughout the performance. She hoped she wasn't too late. Running towards the stage, she realized she must look like a wreck. She made it to the side stage as they were already performing their first song. Damn it.

As if they could feel she was nearby, the group sent a feeling of love down the bond. It embraced her completely. They way they could make her feel cherished without even being able to spare her a glance, that feeling was indescribable. Her eyes welled with happy tears that they still cared. That they hadn't given up on her despite her tirade.

Y/N still felt the stress of what was going to happen. She didn't want to bother the boys with it any longer but needed a soundboard. There was only one person to talk to. There was already a message waiting for her.

Of course Lexi was the voice of reason here. She had these men who were willing to defend her and be there for her. Who love her as she is. Why would she run from that? Especially when it had been made abundantly clear that they would be hurt more if she did.

She looked at them performing. They seemed to be giving it their all because it was the last stop on the tour. Seonghwa...licked his fingers oh my goodness. There were body rolls and hip thrusts. Girls were losing their ever loving minds. It gave her a sense of pride to know that these girls could want them all they wanted, but at the end of the day they would be coming home with her. She tried not to think too much about the bond obligating them to love her.

As the solos portion of the show came up, the guys all ran back and wrapped her in a group hug, peppering her with questions.

"Baby are you alright?"

"I'm so glad your back!"

"Did you need anything?"

It was hard to focus on what they were talking about when they all spoke at once. Hongjoong and Seonghwa, having come back from changing into their MATZ outfits, came up behind her, Seonghwa wrapping her up in a hug.

"Guys you are overwhelming her. Let's just be glad she is here and give her a calm in the storm. It is crazy enough out there." He squeezed her and rubbed her back, letting her head fall onto his chest. She was calmed instantly by his aura and the steady rise and fall of his chest.

"Thank you Hwa." Y/N kissed his chest where it was bare in the leather vest he sported and rubbed his back in return. "I love you."

She felt his love cover her like the fur coat he was currently wearing as he placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head. "I've gotta go perform precious. I love you." With that he and Joong took off towards the stage as the audience clapped in synchronicity awaiting their stage.

Jongho wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and kissed her neck. "Are you alright jagiya? I know all of this is a lot already, and now with this whole bunch of bullshit...I thank you for sticking by us. I know you didn't ask for any of this. Know she is a liar and an awful person and karma will come for her. If not karma, then the law because we aren't letting her hurt you anymore." He kissed her neck again, firmly grasping her love handles.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa's chemistry was electric on the stage. Their faces right in front of each other as they rapped the final part of their song. She snuggled closer into Jongho.

"I hate that just being with me put you in this position. You guys didn't ask for this either. I hope ATINY accept us."

Just then MATZ stepped off the stage and ran off to change again. San, Yeosang, and Wooyoung reached her and kissed her lightly in turn before making their way to the stage. Jongho turned her to face him and looked into her eyes.

"Baby, it will be okay. We will get through this together, okay? Please don't scare us like that again, okay? I am not above giving you regular reminders on why you are beautiful but let's not test it." With this he smirked and pulled her closer to him so there was no space between their bodies. "I believe in very firm reminders."

Y/N laughed out loud and kissed Jongho hard and fast. "Firm indeed. You need to go get changed for your set before I drag you off somewhere." Jongho stepped back, raising his hands in innocent surrender before making his way back to the dressing room.

Turning her eyes back to the stage, she saw all three of her men grabbing their crotches and grinding on stage. Come to think of it, she had not gotten to properly fuck any of them yet. Damn she needed to get her mind out of the gutter. San looked her direction and sent her a wink.

As their performance came to an end as well, all three rushed off stage and surrounded her with their sweaty bodies.

"I love you all but you are gross!" The guys all laughed, with Wooyoung smacking her ass before heading back to the dressing room. Mingi and Yunho were up next, with Yunho picking her up and planting a quick kiss on her lips while Mingi drummed a conga beat on her ass. She squeaked and giggled before they placed her down and headed for the stage.

She watched their performance and loved how the pair interacted. It was honestly precious and she loved the bond they had with each other.

The rest of the concert went relatively smoothly. They showed their love to ATINY as confetti fell and the show wrapped up. It hit her in this moment that the tour is over and she is going to have to figure out getting to Korea. She hadn't even taken care of selling her house or packing anything up. Thankfully she had inherited the house from her grandmother so she didn't have to do anything but keep up the utilities. She is going to have to figure out what to do with her stuff later. She needed to set up her home in Korea first and get her bonds verified.

As the guys came down the lift from the stage, it signaled that the show was officially over. The guys immediately ran over and embraced her. She couldn't help but laugh at how pumped they were.

"You guys did it! I am so proud of you!" She took Mingi's and Wooyoung's hands as the group headed back to the fitting room. Once they made it back in, several members made it into the showers while Hongjoong, Yunho, and Seonghwa plopped onto the sofas with makeup remover wipes, taking off their masks. She took her place next to Hongjoong and asked about what she was thinking earlier.

"Hey firebird. I know the tour is over now...and I was wondering what that meant for me."

"What do you mean sweetheart?" Hongjoong turned at looked at her with concern, almost like he feared her running away again.

"No no no baby I didn't mean anything bad. I just meant in terms of the verification, my home, my stuff. I am not leaving you."

Hongjoong threw his arms around her and seems to visibly relax. "I am so glad to hear those words out of your mouth baby. I know with this bitch it made things a little more difficult." He grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. Members were starting to file out of the showers, leaving Seonghwa and Yunho to go into the bathrooms. San sat behind her and rubbed her back. Hongjoong continued.

" We have a meeting about that at KQ once we get back as well as the verification. We have a week before we technically have to be back. Maybe you can use that time to get your housing affairs in order. You can stay with us until you find a place in Korea, which will be easier once your citizenship goes through when the soul bond is verified."

Y/N nodded along and tried her best not to be overwhelmed. She knew she could do it. It was just a matter of execution.

"Oh there is one more thing baby." San piped in from behind her. "We got the pictures back."

----------------------------

I am sorry about the wait. There had been a lack of motivation lately but trying to get back into it. Appreciate your patience and I am sorry not a lot happened in this chapter. In the next chapter....it's moving day.

Taglist: @vtyb23 @addi-3 @nuggiesnuggetdog04 @yeosangsluthousewife @tyungelic @mrsminseochoi @mygsis

[octolingkiera]

thanks for the tag @lasanya539 lol. i got a few wips/aus that ive talked about on discord but nowhere else so this could be fun lol

some wips/aus include: (these are all rise of the tmnt btw)

scout au

single child child actor leo separated au (name pending)

turtle sister au (which, unfortunately, has no wip doc rn, just notes)

fallout

leo writes fics (aka unofficialsonic has posted a new work)

stuck in an rpg fic

sunset hues, jetpack blues

rise x undertale (which also has no doc yet but i've been thinking about it a lot lately)

these are the only things i got cookin rn with enough meat to actually get anywhere with them, so if anyone's interested in any of them, feel free to ask about them !

ehhhh im no good at tagging (nor am i frequent tumblr user these days) so anyone is free to join and add on from here ! :0

WIP game

RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP list, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it. And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

Oh geeze I have so many WIPS it's not even funny. But the ones I work on most are:

• Leo is a tot during canon

• Crossover

• It's Obsession

• The Cowardly Trio

• Artemisia in ROTTMNT

• OFC Harry Potter fix it

• Bad Future Rise Raph, after dying, becomes Dad to 2012 boys

• Feral Missy Howard OP

And those are just the fanfic ones lol (most that will never see the light of day)

Np tags ~ @dorky-pals @azucar-skull @lasanya539 @pastel-mask @languajix @leilanising-sideblog @merakimagic @littlemissartemisia and anyone else who'd like to join

[beastlybardou]

10 Foot Beast or Pint-Sized Fury?

An Unexpected Questioning Post

For the last nine years I have been in the community, I have considered myself a werewolf. Not just because those are the most "popular" kintype, or because I like them, but because of some real, deep questioning too. However, lately, I've been wondering if I might have been mistaken all this time. I might be a wolverine instead?

Looking at my werewolf form side-by-side with a wolverine, all the most important things that I feel strongest about on my were-form are also present on wolverines. Large, hand-like paws, broad powerful head, small ears, thick crushing teeth, long sharp claws, stocky build, the ability to move quadrapedally but stand upright for short periods, thick bristly fur, its all there.

Here is a comparison.

Behaviorally, they also are fiercely territorial, distance running, northern predators, all of which are an established must. Frankly, their more solitary nature fits better with me. I've never been one to constantly be in a group. If I'm being honest with myself, I'm not much of a team player. I would rather just do it all myself and know that it's being done right (or that if it isn't its my own fault and I will learn) than worry about what someone else is doing.

I love my friends dearly, and I absolutely need to interact with them, but I also need my space when it's all said and done. Similarly, male wolverines have large territories that allow them to visit and play with their children and mates while still retreating back to their own space most of the time.

As a person, I'm kind of small for a grown man and people consistently underestimate me because of it, but I've won every fight I've been in and have always been told I'm a lot stronger than I look. Being a 10 foot tall near unstoppable beast sounds pretty great and has been what I identify with, but it also kind of feels like a power fantasy on my part. Plus, I think "I am a giant killing machine" is a thought a wolverine would have anyway. Being on the smaller side but still punching above my weight feels a little more realistic to my lived experience.

All of that speaks to me being a wolverine, but I do have some reservations. I've always howled. Ever since I was little, it's been one of my main vocal quirks. I very strongly feel connected to the concept of transformation and feel deeply seen by werewolf narratives because of it. And, on a more personal note, not being a werewolf would be kind of emotional for me because of all the time and effort and trust I've put on my identity. I've built so much of my personal mythos and beliefs around being a werewolf. It's been such a key part of how I've interacted with the world, myself, and my community for so long that I would be very sad to leave that behind and have been mistaken about it.

[leidensygdom]

So, one of the thoughts I've been having about AI of late (and the people defending them) is the people who try to defend it from an anti-capitalist, anti-copyright perspective. I can understand that there are AI bros that just like the convenience of cheap art (or even to run AI mills of any kind) and that they're being inflammatory or seeking to make a quick buck (and I hate them for it), but the perspective of "I'm defending AI from a communist perspective" it's truly the one that baffles me.

Like, let's be real. Who is pushing for it? Why is every large tech giant desperate to normalize it? Why are they trying to put it on every single thing you own? Why are they trying so bad to make the investment worth it? genAI is here because really rich people want it. Because it benefits companies. Because it's already been used to bypass any already ridiculous data protection the average person had, and data equals money to them, as they can use it to make increasingly more weaponized advertising. Instagram has been using it to generate images of people without their consent. Will ads simply include your face using their product? Who knows! But this is a massive concern for data privacy (and for consent)

People try to talk about artists who oppose AI as "entitled", "the biggest fans of IP law" and "acting as temporarily embarassed burgeoise who wants to ascend class through their art". The large majority of artists are already struggling to make ends meet as it is. Very few of the people you'll see complain online are doing much, if at all, through art. That one furry artist whose work you love who covers kinks and genders that the mainstream would not understand in 7 more decades isn't someone aspiring to be part of the upper class through they art. They literally just want to make a living.

Quite a large portion of internet artists are people who either make art that wouldn't fit the mainstream for different reasons (too subversive, too unique, too inflammatory, whatever), are disabled/ND people who have very limited options to make a living, or part of marginalized groups that have issues finding more standard jobs in bigger companies. Or several of these at the same time. These people aren't the evil capitalists you want them to be for trying to defend their work (and their livings).

Maybe, if AI existed in a world where everyone had an Universal Basic Income and their worth and chances of living were independent from their ability to commercialize their art, a lot of artists would care far less for it, or copyright, or anything. But it does not exist in a vacuum. The ones who are more staunchly vouching for AI are the actual big corporations that a lot of the people criticizing IP/copyright are usually opposed to. Can we talk about the way these corporations want to use AI to control social media? To standardize misinformation? How you can't generate a lot of things with it due to extreme sanitization? How it will tell you biased information as facts, knowing you won't fact check? How the use of genAI, ChatGPT and so is directly hurting people's ability to fact-check and have critical thinking? Maybe that's the most pressing issue, and the reason AI is being pushed as hard as it is.

Are the people who are at higher risk of losing their jobs to AI going to get compensated? Once companies start culling translators, customer service workers, videogame devs, writers and artists, VAs, and everything else they can replace, will they receive any compensation? No? Then maybe stand the ground with your fellow workers and hear their complaints about AI. Again, it does not exist in a vacuum, and as long as it doesn't, it will hurt a lot of people as companies seek to save up few cents.

But no, let's pretend that opposing AI is always made because every artist on the Internet is sitting comically massive piles of money they made drawing socially unacceptable queer art that gets them banned every other month from sites.

[the-undeadwriter]

Hello! I've never done a req before so hopefully I do this right :)

I had an idea of an x reader fic with Dazai that was set in Dead Apple. So obviously there was the fog that caused all the people with abilities to have to fight that ability and my idea was that essentially the reader is one of the ones affected. Maybe they have a telekinesis ability or something and they have to fight that. Of course Dazai doesn't have to fight his since he was with Fyodor and Shibusawa, but he doesn't think about it affecting his partner. After everything clears up maybe he realizes what happened but it was too late since they were already hurt (or killed). If they're hurt maybe he does his best to try and patch them up and take care of them. I'm a huge sucker for hurt/comfort and angst so the sadder the better.

Thank you so much! I hope you have a great day!

I’m glad I’m your first request and you did great!! Also- this is pretty sad but it’s also pretty open ended?? Not a lot of comfort but I can do a part two if anyone is interested :)

Warnings: angst!!! Near death experiences, probably ooc, reader I gn! Pre-established relationship :)

Wordcount: 591!!

Enjoy!!

This was, perhaps, the worst day of your life.

The fog that had descended upon Yokohama was a strange, fickle thing. Many people had disappeared. Those who hadn’t…

You dodge out of the way of a large piece of debris, eyes wide.

Those who hadn’t disappeared were forced to face against their own ability. Like you were now.

This was a precarious situation, in all honesty. You were powerless, fighting against an entity with no remorse. An entity that only wishes to hurt others.

It’s like looking at a twisted version of yourself— the person you could have become if not for the Armed Detective Agency.

More debris is thrown at you, along with metal sheets and cars. You barely manage to step back in time to remain mostly unharmed. You can’t quite step away quick enough to dodge the next object, thrown at you too quickly to properly see what it was before you were struck down.

You try to stay awake, but you are just… far too tired to stay awake.

His plan had worked perfectly. Shibusawa was dead, Fyodor had been carted away… everything had worked out perfectly.

Expect for one. Small. Thing.

You.

Wonderful, kind, you.

Fragile, delicate, you.

Injured, hurting, you.

That wasn’t part of the plan— but then again, he hadn’t planned for you at all.

He stands outside the ADA’s infirmary, awaiting Dr. Yosano’s diagnosis. He felt… strangely numb, considering that you, his partner, was injured.

He doesn’t know what to do.

He had found you, when all was said and done. Half buried under rubble, blearing and battered but mercifully alive.

What happened after that was a blur— taking you to the agency and handing you over to Dr. Yosano’s care… he barely recalls what happened.

His head shoots up when the door to the infirmary opens, eyes wide and erratic as Yosano sighs heavily and tugs at her gloves. “They’re alive.” She starts, taking a breath. “But they aren’t awake- they likely won’t wake for a while.”

He nods silently, standing and stepping closer. His throat is scratchy and his voice is hoarse when he speaks, “Can I see them?”

Yosano purses her lips and hesitates before she sighs, nodding. She steps aside with a quiet warning to be quiet, and he rushes inside.

The infirmary is bright— it’s almost too bright, considering how awful this situation feels. His breath catches as he spots you, lying still in a hospital bed. The white sheets and bright lights make your skin seem pale— or maybe that’s from your near death experience.

He practically collapses into the chair situated next to the bed, carefully taking your hand in his own. Even your arms have been bandaged… he understands why you try not to focus on all of his bandages.

He can’t bring himself to speak. His words catch in his throat and burn at his mouth. He feels if he were to open his mouth smoke would expel from his lungs, it’s hard to breathe.

He sits in silence for a long time. He can’t bring himself to speak.

Eventually, he stands from the chair, letting your limp hand slip from his grasp. He leans down and presses a shaky kiss to your forehead, and he whispers an apology against your skin before he flees the infirmary.

He can’t bring himself to stay with you any longer, not when you are undeniable proof that he is a curse upon himself. That he brings misfortune to those closest to him.

He is so sorry.

[bm571158]

Free Now LN4 (Part 38)

"Well?!" Flo demanded the second Lando answered the phone. "How did it go?"

"How did what go?" He asked.

"Don't play dumb with me, how did it go with Lottie?"

"How did you know I was there?" He asked, confused.

"Well, mum said you were coming over to go to McLaren so I took a guess, and now you've just told me that you were there. So come on, tell me!" Flo demanded.

"Lottie didn't call you?" He asked.

"No." Flo told him. "I was going to call her, but you're my brother and it's way easier to interrogate you. Now, tell me."

The way Lando sighed into the phone was enough of an answer for Flo to know that it hadn't gone the way that he had expected it to. "Oh...." She mumbled.

"She uh... she's better, she's happy." He sighed, as if that somehow made what he was feeling less painful. He supposed in a way it did. Seeing her happy, knowing that she had the chance to get back to doing what she loved and finally something to look forward to was great, but it hadn't made it any easier walking back out of her house and getting in his car to drive away.

"I'm sorry, Lando." Flo said quietly. "I never should've suggested you go there, I really thought that she'd change her mind and it would all be fine... shit.... Are you alright?"

"No." He admitted. "But I'm about five minutes away from MTC so I haven't really got time to worry about it right now I guess."

"Why don't you come here tonight, rather than going back to Monaco?" Flo suggested. She hated the idea that he was going to fly back to Monaco to sit alone in that apartment and be miserable on his own.

"It's alright." He reassured her. "I need to get back. I've got stuff I need to sort before Zandvoort. I'll be okay it's just... well, it sucks."

"I'm so sorry Lando, I really thought all she needed was to see you again and she'd realise that she's being stupid. What did she say?"

"It's fine Flo, really." Lando brushed her off, he didn't want to get into the details of what had been said with his sister. "I need to go now, I'm at MTC and I'm already running late." It was a lie, he was actually early and still fifteen minutes away but he just wanted to get out of the conversation.

"Okay, call me later?" Flo suggested. "And if you change your mind and want to come and stay then the offer is still open, okay?"

"Okay." He agreed quietly, ending the call. He had no intention of going to Flo's no matter how many times she suggested it. He just wanted to be on his own where he could think and digest what Lottie had said to him.

He was still sat in his car staring into space thinking about it when Oscar had arrived at MTC, tapping on the car window and making Lando jump.

"You alright mate?" Oscar asked him as he scrambled out of the car, realising he'd now only got a couple of minutes before he was supposed to be somewhere. "You looked like you were miles away."

"I uh... yeah. I've got a lot on my mind I guess." Lando mumbled, shutting the car door behind him.

"I know it's none of my business..." Oscar said hesitantly, and Lando looked up at him in surprise. His teammate was quiet, never stuck his nose into anyone else's business, he always had been. "But you and Lottie... there's so many rumours going around online and I haven't seen her for a few races now. Is everything okay?"

Lando hesitated, halfway tempted to just lie to Oscar and tell him it was all fine. He knew Oscar wouldn't believe him, but he was probably too polite to call him out on it and it might put an end to the conversation. Lando knew what Oscar was referring to, the second he'd shown up in Spain without Lottie beside him the rumour mill had well and truly started turning.

"You shouldn't believe what you see on the internet." Lando muttered. If you believed what the gossip sites and TikTok were saying he'd cheated on Lottie, she'd cheated on him, he'd proposed and she'd said no... the variations on the story were endless. Not a single one of them was correct, but obviously the people on the internet weren't worried about how factual it was, it was great reading.

"I don't." Oscar shrugged. "But there's no smoke without fire usually, and you're not telling me nothings going on."

"It's... it's complicated." Lando sighed. "But yeah, we're... we're not together anymore."

"I'm sorry mate." Oscar gave him a sympathetic smile, patting him on the shoulder. "That's rough."

"Ironically, a lot of the problem was all these gossip sites and people with cameras who are now having a great time speculating about what happened." Lando commented dryly.

"Ah.." Oscar gave him a knowing look, after all they'd all been there. "I really am sorry, she seemed like such a nice girl."

"Yeah." Lando sighed. "Me too."

Thankfully, Oscar seemed to have decided that his one brief venture into Lando's personal life was more than enough for the for a lifetime and hadn't brought it up again. Instead he'd gone a little over the top doing everything he could to keep the conversation away from that particular topic, changing the topic of conversation not so subtly any time anyone came remotely close to mentioning it and Lando had never been more grateful.

He'd said goodbye to Oscar and the team as quickly as he could at the end of the day, heading back to the airport to go back to Monaco, but not without checking his phone one more time on the off chance that Lottie might have called him. She hadn't, of course, she'd been very clear with him when he'd left hers that he shouldn't hang around waiting for her to call, but the hope that she might was definitely still there.

It wasn't until he was back in his apartment in Monaco, haphazardly shoving the clothes he needed to take to Zandvoort with him into a suitcase, that he really started to digest what she'd said to him.

None of it was anything that he could even try and argue with, and it was clear that she'd put as much thought into whether or not she could be with him as he had put into trying to persuade her to come back. It wasn't some impulsive decision that she had made as a result of what had happened in Monaco, it was clearly something that had been bubbling away underneath the surface for quite a while and that had just been the final straw.

He couldn't say he blamed her either, for not wanting to live her life in the media spotlight. He hated it too, missed the days of being able to go out and have fun without worrying about people recording him and it ending up on the internet. He didn't have a choice, just had to accept it and get on with it, but Lottie did have a choice. She could get away from it... it just meant that she had to get away from him.

So as much as it broke his heart and he wanted to plead with her to change her mind, he understood her reasoning. It just didn't make it any easier to accept.

He was still mulling it over in his mind as he arrived in Zandvoort. It wasn't his favourite race, the win there last year and his decision to throw out a 'simply lovely' in the heat of the moment after the race had been the beginning of a level of hatred on the internet that had been like nothing he'd ever experienced before. The seemingly innocuous comment that had slipped out of his mouth in the heat of the moment being taken as something it wasn't.

He'd had to delete all his social media off his phone for weeks after that race. The comments and posts were so vile that he hadn't been able to bring himself to even pretend he wasn't bothered. He'd gone back home to his parents to spend some time with them in the hope that might offer a distraction, anything to stop him from thinking about what people were saying.

As he walked back into the paddock in Zandvoort, a year later, the same uneasy feeling settled over him. It was Max's home race, of course everyone was rooting for him to win. It made sense that if hadn't been popular with the home crowd that Lando had won, it made sense that they'd started booing him as he went past on the track this year.

It all made sense, and yet he couldn't quell the horrible feeling of anxiety that came with it.

The pressure was on for this weekend. He had the lead in the championship but a reasonable, but not comfortable, margin. It was effectively his to lose now, and that was a terrifying prospect. Then there was the pressure of returning to a track that he'd absolutely dominated at the previous year, winning by a huge margin, and people were going to expect the same this year. He could hear them now if he didn't win, saying that last year had just been a fluke- luck not talent they'd say.

He'd worked himself up into such a frenzy about it that he was pacing up and down in his drivers room ahead of his media commitments, unable to sit still with all the nervous energy coursing through his body. If he had time he probably would've gone for a run around the track, he needed some kind of distraction and way to clear his head.

The interviews went along the lines he was expecting, and he repeated the answers that he'd become very well rehearsed in giving when it came to the inevitable questions about the championship and his rivalry with Max. They were the diplomatic answers that had been very carefully though out by the McLaren PR team, the ones that had been recycled so often by this point he knew them by heart. He wasn't even sure why journalists kept asking the question really. Had they not figured out that they only ever got the same answer from him?

He'd muddled his way through, tripping over his words a few times when someone had asked him a slightly more unexpected question, but he'd recovered quickly enough that hopefully no one would think anything of it. Certainly no one from the team had said anything. Then before he knew it, the day was over and he was in the car on the way back to the hotel, ready to spend another night alone with his thoughts and absolutely no distractions.

Lottie meanwhile, had been watching the tv coverage as she always did. While no one at the track may have picked up on his rather erratic mood, she spotted within the first two minutes of the interview she was watching that something was wrong. That frown line on his forehead was back, the way he was fidgeting around in front of the camera completely unable to stand still, the way his fingers kept finding their way to his neck to fiddle with his necklace and the way he kept adjusting his cap on his head every time he spoke... it was nothing like the calm and collected interviews she'd watched him give as of late. She just couldn't put her finger on why.

She'd dialled his number before her brain really had the chance to catch up with her actions, and in the split second of indecision that she'd had about whether or not she should quickly hang up he'd then answered and taken away her opportunity to back out. She wasn't sure if their new found agreement to be friends really extended to her calling him up like this to check in on him, but she supposed she was about to find out.

"Lottie?" He sounded puzzled as he answered. "What are you doing? Is everything okay? Are you okay?"

"I was actually calling to ask you that." She told him sheepishly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have called. I don't know what I was thinking really, I just..."

"You just what?" He asked.

"I was just watching your interview on tv and you looked like you could use someone to talk to." She said softly. "Are you okay?"

"Was the interview that bad?" He groaned. "No one here said anything."

"No, it wasn't." Lottie reassured him. "But I know you well enough to know when something is wrong, so tell me."

"It'll be okay, I'm just a bit nervous. It's Max's home crowd, they're never that pleased when someone else does well... I think I just feel a bit funny after all that last year." He mumbled. "It'll be fine, I'll be fine."

"I think the first step would be for you to stop pacing up and down the hotel room." She suggested.

He stopped mid step, looking around in confusion. "How did you..."

"I can't see you." She laughed, because she could just picture the confused look on his face as he tried to work out how she knew. "But I know you well enough to know exactly what you do when you're stressed. I'm not wrong, am I?"

"No." He admitted. "You're not."

"So, stop pacing. Go and take a nice warm shower, order yourself some dinner. Play something online with Max for a bit and then get some sleep. You'll be absolutely fine tomorrow, I know you will. I'll be cheering for you, even if some of the crowd aren't."

"Thank you." He whispered. "I've really missed your pep talks. I wish you were here. It was all so much better when you were here."

"Lando." She sighed into the phone. "Come on, let's not do this again. Especially not when you've got a race to think about."

"I know, I know." He agreed unhappily. "I just miss you. Being friends is great, but it at the same time it's really, really shit."

"I'm sorry Lando. It's the best I can do at the moment." She told him quietly. "I miss you too, but I need to do what's right for me. I'm always here though, if you need me. You can call me and I'll talk some sense into you any time."

"Maybe you could come to Abu Dhabi with Flo?" He suggested. "It'll be the end of the season. You can talk some sense into me in person then."

"You'll be world champion by then, you won't need me to talk some sense into you." She reassured him.

"Please?" He asked again. "It would be so good to have you there." Abu Dhabi was an age away, but it would give him something to look forward to at least.

"Let's see how things go." Lottie suggests, not wanting to commit but also not wanting to upset him by saying no. "I've got to go now, but you'll be fine tomorrow. I promise. Good luck, Lando."

She'd been right of course, she always was. She'd watched on with fond smile at the tv screen as he'd come home to win the race on Sunday. Not quite by the same landslide margin that he had done the year before, but a win was a win worthless. She quickly fired off a message to him to congratulate him and tell him to enjoy the celebrations.

She stared at the tv screen with a wistful smile as she watched him take to the podium, the proud look on his face as the anthem was played. She tried again to remind herself that she was doing the right thing, for both of them, but as she watched on all she could really think about was how much she wished she was there with him.

The problem was, it came and went in waves. One minute she was convincing herself that she was wrong, that she was denying herself a chance at happiness with someone she really, truly loved because she'd let the opinion of a load of strangers on the internet get in her head. The next minute though she would remember how it had made her feel watching her life and appearance get torn to shreds on the internet for other people's entertainment. She would remember what it felt like to not be able to walk down the street without having a dozen cameras pointed at her, the suffocating feeling of not ever being able to go anywhere and just relax.

It was a coin toss- the two things she so desperately wanted seemingly impossible to have at the same time. She could be with the man that she loved, or she could have her privacy and live her life away from the media to  keep her sanity in tact. The two seemed to be mutually exclusive, no matter how hard she had tried to look for a middle ground. So no, as much as she wanted to be there and be the one that he came running to when he got off that podium and was ready to celebrate, she couldn't be that person for him, as much as she wished that she was.

[deadhands69]

You Started It

Tomura Shigaraki x reader

Here's 76: “you started it!” Thanks for requesting this one @scary-grace and @shigarakislaughter I had other ideas but this kind of wrote itself so if you had anything else in mind, I can write another one [prompt from this list of three word prompts, feel free to send requests and I'll be working on them in the evenings over the next few weeks!] tattoo shop AU fluff Contains: mentions of needles, heavy making out and an implied suggestive comment (this is like pg-13), and it was clearly written by someone slightly shorter than Tomura so I guess mentally change the descriptions however you want.

The neon green ‘tattoo’ light in the window flickers. It’s been doing that on and off for weeks now, driving you all crazy. Probably fixable, you think every time you see it happening but none of you remember to do anything about it when you do have a free moment. You make a mental note.

Right now is not the time though.

Right now, you’re gloved-up and coating everything in a disinfectant so intense you’re not really sure how it’s legally available to the public. The clock rolls over to seven pm, it’s a late start to your day but in the slow season you’ll take what you can get. Tomura in the adjacent station is halfway through another huge video game tattoo on his roommate. Dabi’s client is looking at their new tattoo in the mirror. The others didn’t bother to show up, having no one on the schedule.

“Are you using my bottles?” you ask Tomura, staring the answer down in front of him. 

“Grabbed the wrong ones earlier, just use mine.”

“Ughh,” you groan at him, grabbing his and spraying them with more cleaner than you’d typically use. “You better scrub those really well. Last time you used mine I found ink on them after.”

“I know how to clean,” Tomura rolls his eyes at you. 

“No dude, you're fucking gross sometimes,” yells Dabi from across the room while he bandages the tattoo he just finished. 

“Hey,” Tomura complains over his shoulder, “don't say that in front of my client.”

“Your client is Spinner. Doesn't count,” you laugh. 

“Hey, I count!” yells Spinner, while Tomura grumbles at him to stop moving. 

“You know what I mean, you know him,” you quip back while wiping down your station. “I've seen how he is in here, and this is work. There's no way he isn’t an absolute slob at home.”

“Hah!” exclaims Spinner, once more prompting Tomura to groan at him before the latter puts all of his weight over the former's thigh to force him to stay still. “No, you’re right. He’s definitely a mess at home.”

“I clean fine,” Tomura mumbles. 

You watch as Spinner winces slightly at Tomura dry wiping his leg in retaliation before continuing, “you are capable of cleaning fine, absolutely. But your bedroom is full of trash and takeout boxes at any given time. So no, I wouldn't say that you're clean.”

“I'm busy,” Tomura grumbles, eyes flicking in your direction to see your reaction. His face flushes behind locks of long white hair. It's pretty, but you've always wondered how he can work like that. This sparks a bickering conversation between the two of them regarding what constitutes ‘busy,’ but you tune them out in favor of the work you need to do. 

A few minutes later, everything is wiped, wrapped, and organized. With your station ready, you wait. Hovering just close enough to see the lines on Spinner’s leg come together. It looks amazing.

Watching Tomura work is fascinating. As much as you love making fun of him, he's good at what he does. He also has nice hands, you note, paying careful attention to the way they flex through the gloves he's wearing. Plus, he's cute when he's concentrating. His eyes squint and he bites his bottom lip every time he has to pull a long line. It’s a face you’ve memorized. You find yourself staring at him a lot. He probably notices, but you don’t really care. 

Shortly after you first started working here, he asked you out. And like an idiot, you said no. Not wanting to mix your work and personal life (even if he is one of the most attractive humans you've ever met in an ethereal way that makes you wonder how he even exists.) At the time, you thought it probably wasn’t a big deal for him. Making the assumption that he asks people out on a regular basis because every other guy here does (which is valid, because they’re all attractive and that usually goes well for them.) However, putting together everything you’ve seen and what Spinner has said about Tomura’s personal life, you don’t think he goes on any dates even if he easily could. 

You think about it a lot. Running through every outcome of how things would have been different if you’d said yes. How the date would have gone. If you'd still joke like you do. You love spending time with him. Sometimes you even wonder if he has any interest now that he's actually gotten to know you. 

Probably not you decide, trying to shut the thought out of your mind. 

Toga from the front desk brings your client back. Perfect timing for a distraction. 

It's a little past eleven when Toga turns off the neon ‘open’ sign, dims the lights, and locks the door for the evening. 

“Have a good night!” she yells before exiting through the back door and disappearing down the street. Dabi left a few hours ago which just leaves you and Tomura still putting things away after cleaning up for the night. 

“Why'd you let Dabi tattoo you yesterday,” he asks while replacing your shared paper towel roll. 

“Because I liked the drawing he did and I wanted it as a tattoo.”

“You like my drawings too, you said so.” You nod. “So, why haven't you let me tattoo you yet?”

You didn't want to ask and be imposing or take too much of his time since he never offered to tattoo you, like Dabi who offered to trade, but more importantly: “Are you…jealous?”

“No, of course not,” Tomura says the words but his voice gives him away. 

“Oh. Well, I'd love to get tattooed from you sometime. Whenever you have time.” At the last minute you add sarcastically, “as long as you aren't too busy to clean everything before.”

He scoffs at you, walking around  the table to where your bottles are sitting (thankfully spotless, you note) on his tray. You grab two but he gets the third. 

“And for that,” he says holding it over his head, just out of your reach, “you're not getting this back.”

Okay. You'll bite. 

“Really?” you ask, trying to reach for it to no avail. Instead, you switch to using both hands to try to bring his arm down but he's surprisingly strong. You could tickle him but you aren't sure if he's ticklish. He seems like he would be though and he'd probably end up squeezing the bottle and spraying soap everywhere for you both to deal with. 

“Come on, give it back. You're so mean to me,” you pout but there's no real bite to your words. 

“You started it!” he retorts.

“Oh yeah? How did I start it?” you ask, still hanging off his extended arm. 

“By being mean to me first.”

“Fine then. Tomura, can you please give me the soap bottle back?”

“Hmmm. What are you going to do for it?” he smirks at you, flirting? Suddenly, you realize how close the two of you are standing. Your feet are firmly planted on either side of his worn red skate shoes, chests pressed together. 

“What do you want me to do for it?”

“I don't know,” he furrows his brow, “didn't think that far ahead.”

You try to shove him playfully but having just mopped, the floor is slippery. The two of you lose balance slightly before his free hand wraps around your waist to steady you. Your hands are gripping his shirt and you're close. Very close. 

His body feels warm against yours and firmer than you expected. You’re not sure why you thought he’d be bonier, but ‘toned guy who spends all of his free time playing video games alone’ isn’t a phrase that typically makes sense. Here you are though. In your surprise, you find your hands exploring more of him than you consciously chose to - running your fingers down his chest, around his ribs, and down the curve of his spine. In response, he wraps his other arm around you, bottle laying forgotten on the tray behind him. 

First you kiss his cheek, making tentative contact with his dry, but surprisingly soft, skin. His hold on you tightens as he exhales shakily. Slowly, you kiss your way across his face until your lips find his. They’re chapped, like usual, so you’re careful to not shove into him too hard. 

He isn’t.

His mouth moves desperately on yours. Kissing you passionately with force, like he’s trying to suck your soul from your body. You feel his fingertips digging into your shoulders, pulling you in as close as he can. Without breaking the connection, you push him a few steps back onto the table he just finished cleaning, climbing over his lap and straddle him as he lays back. He grabs your new tattoo on accident before immediately letting go at your slight recoil. Eventually, his hands find a safe place on your hips and yours tangle their way into his hair, which is also surprisingly soft for how messy he usually wears it. The two of you stay like this for a while, losing track of time. Not caring who can see you making out through the floor to ceiling windows as they pass. 

You pull back for air, opening your eyes to look down at him. He’s beautiful, even in the limited lighting.

He smiles up at you. His teeth are cute and crooked in a way that perfectly suits his face. You lean in again, kissing him with less urgency this time.

“Does this mean you changed your mind?” his lips move over yours as he speaks.

“Hmm?” you hum, too lost in the moment to figure out what he's referring to. 

“Am I good enough now?” you pull away fully to see his face. 

“What are you talking about? Good enough for what?” you ask, still staring at him in a daze. 

“To date you. You said no when I asked but you still seem into me. I figured you had a reason so I’ve been trying to be better.” When you don’t respond immediately, he jumps to more conclusions. “Is it the cleaning thing? Because that only happened once and I said I was sorry.”

“No, it's not that. It wasn't that. It wasn't anything you did. Uhm, that doesn't really matter right now.” You move a strand of hair out of his face, watching as he melts to your touch. “You’re definitely good enough,” you whisper, “what are you doing tonight?”

His mouth cracks open to give the most obviously flirty answer before biting his bottom lip for a moment and thinking it through. “No plans, but I’ve been working since two without a break so I’m not up for much.”

“That’s okay,” you murmur back, “want to get takeout and watch a movie or something?”

“Yeah,” he smiles at you again and the world spins. The two of you stand, grabbing your jackets to leave, and make your way out the door.

Tonight will be cute, fun. You’re not worried about the stray bottles you left between your stations. Or the few paper towels that didn’t make it into the trash can. You're not even thinking about the security camera footage that will inevitably be circulating between everyone in the shop before you both show up to work tomorrow.

masterlist

[scribbledghost]

Writing Goddess!! How are you today? Sending love 💛

I was wondering… who do you think the vessels were when they were human? Do they remember? Do they miss it? Do they tell reader about it?

Hello!! I'm doing okay, thank you for sending this in! It's such an interesting question 💖💖

Vessel: converted to be Sleep's vessel in the middle ages

As I've touched on before, Sleep found Vessel when he was at his lowest. He'd endured a lot of trauma, a lot of pain, and just wanted relief from it.

He struggled to find what he wanted in life, what his place was, and where he fit. All he knew was the playing and singing music made at least some of the pain go away.

Now, he vaguely remembers what his life was like, but only in a nebulous sense. He remembers the hurt he felt (and caused), he remembers how desperate he was for an out. But he doesn't remember the finer details. He just knows he doesn't miss it.

If you ask, he'll tell you what little he remembers. But be warned, it isn't much. He's been alive for so long that trying to remember something that far in the past is like trying to find a specific grain of sand at the bottom of the ocean.

II: converted not long after Vessel did

I think II actually knew Vessel as a human. I'd like to think they were close even then, and II got to see in real time the transformation Vessel underwent to become what he is now.

Like Vessel, II doesn't remember the finer details of his life. He only really remembers that he was a musician for a royal court. He remembers how close he and Vessel were, and how scared the latter was when the inhuman traits started developing after he pledged himself to Sleep.

I also think that both II and Vessel had mutual romantic feelings for each other back then but hid them, and II could only stand to see Vessel suffer alone for so long, so he pledged himself to Sleep as well. He actually helped Vessel pick a spot to construct their home that would later develop into the manor you know now.

II will also tell you certain things if you ask, but he'll spare you the more gritty details of certain things. He misses it sometimes, but he's content with things now.

III: converted in the 1800s

He arrived much later than Vessel and II, and purely by accident. He never really fit in with "polite society", as he calls it, preferring either his own company or the company of others that tended to be looked down upon.

III found the manor in late autumn, and converted to a vessel not long after. It was perfect - plenty of solitude, yet company in the other residents.

He remembers a decent amount, and he'll tell you stories of his exploits often if you ask him to. He has plenty, between the places he frequented and the people he hung around with.

However, he's noticed that some of the finer details have started to slip away from him. He can still recall a great deal more about his human days than Vessel or II, but there's definitely spots in his memory that are starting to go fuzzy. Part of him does kind of wish he were human again, just for the fun of it.

IV: converted in the 1920s

He found the manor while he was on the run from the cops for theft. He was destitute, got caught up in the unemployment boom of the time, and had very little to his name. Finding a giant house in the woods and being offered free food and shelter was a miracle to him, so he willingly converted not long after his arrival.

IV remembers a lot of his human days, and most of those memories aren't pleasant ones. A lot of struggle, a lot of fear regarding where his next meal was coming from. He was foul-mouthed, angry, and overall unpleasant.

He'll tell you stories if you ask, but won't go too far into specifics purely because he doesn't want you to pity him for who he used to be. He's changed a fair bit since transforming, in part because he stopped having to struggle just to survive. (He still swears like a sailor though).

Absolutely doesn't miss being human. He'd gladly take being a vessel any day, and if you gave him the choice, he'd convert again in a heartbeat.

[libraford]

There was just so much "I'm glad they're out, but I'm not going to hold their hand and welcome them into our spaces."

Which is like... the first part of that is what I was suggesting. I wasn't even asking people to be nice beyond acknowledgement that them leaving was a good thing. And I did over-react a little bit because it was somewhat obvious that it was a lot of bad faith reads, but you know... I just don't react well to being called a nazi apologist.

And part of this is that I'm coming fresh out of doing research for the conversion therapy ban, where I had to hear so many strawman and slippery slope arguments as to why parents should be allowed to enroll their gay children into a program that has a less than 1% success rate and a 40% increase in suicide and is mostly characterized by literal torture.

And I saw both supporters and opponents of the ban say things that completely missed the point because they didn't read thoroughly or critically. But the important thing, I guess, was that they were angry.

While researching, I came across the oldie-but-goodie: Westboro Baptist Church- which I hadn't thought about since we were still in college.

But Fred Phelps just straight up hated everything. Like damn. That man really had unearthly amounts of hate in him. And he'd put ideas in people's heads and they'd rotate it around for awhile and they'd end up hating a version of events that barely resembled reality and... well, sometimes people get caught up in hating something so much that they don't read through.

And I think that things like anger, fear, hatred... they can be addicting to some people. I know that I have to limit my intake of The Horrors to digestible things written in plain language, and that I have to do it around the same time every day, or I'll just keep looking for more. And there haven't been very many resolutions to things, so its kind of like a cat chasing a laser pointer.

But I had a positive outcome with the conversion therapy ban. It made me feel good. Even if some of the people who were on my side of the issue somewhat missed the point, it felt good to celebrate a win. So I saw the exit group as another win, even if it was a small one.

I understanding wanting an Acceptable Target. The more I read about conversion therapy, the more I fucking hated Gary Cooper and Michael Bussee. Like I want to throw rocks at these people who left a legacy of hatred and a trail of bodies.

Finding out that they both left Exodus International to (1979 equivalent of) marry each other kind of took the breath out of that. That so many of the leaders and faces of the movement spoke out and said 'I was wrong and I am sorry for the damage I've done' gave me mixed feelings. As late as 2013, decades after the founders of the movement left, still dealing with the fallout and only just now in 2025 are people starting to get with the program on banning the practice of literal torture.

Having an Acceptable Target didn't make all of it not happen. And them apologizing didn't stop the movement. Even with a ban in place, I think that the change will be slower than I would like.

So its like... why am I putting this much energy into wanting them to feel pain when one of them already died of AIDS and the other one has been an outspoken opponent of the movement he started? Its not... its not gonna change where we are.

I'm trying to look more into the concept of what I'm doing instead of the person who is doing it. Like don't get me wrong: I want Elon Musk, Donald Trump, JD Vance, and Mike Pence to all have really ironic deaths. I think it would be satisfying to read in the 1-hour I set aside for easily-digestible news reports. I think that's a human thing to want.

Not gonna fix the problems. The problems are bigger and less easily solved than the richest man in the world falling into a vat of acid (oh god please it would be so funny.) They're concepts. They're isolationism and Rugged Individualism and Corporate Greed. Its racism and xenophobia and misogyny and transphobia and ableism. And the people who think that they cannot, will not, and could never be guilty of those things is disturbingly susceptible to propaganda.

Acceptable Targets are satisfying. Sometimes it can be productive, like when you punch a Nazi and they stop spreading their shit! But punching a Nazi doesn't end Nazism all at once. You have to keep punching them. And you also have to understand why there are Nazis. And you also have to learn why they recruit who they recruit. And this means finding empathy for your enemy, which is hard to do. And the work is long! And sometimes its boring! And sometimes its thankless! And sometimes its fucking impossible!

So I see why some people would prefer Acceptable Targets. We all do it. Which is why I believe in patience in lieu of forgiveness. The work is long. Lives are short.

Not to dwell on the subject, but somewhere along the line the word 'cheer' got misinterpreted to mean 'take an active role in a person's healing process and forgive them wholesale of their actions, shield them from the consequences, and vote for them when they run for senator.'

[ministarfruit]

yuri month day 13: I want you to treat me ♡

(femslashfeb prompt list)

[mercymaker]

✶ 𝐇 𝐀 𝐋 𝐒 𝐈 𝐍 & 𝐌 𝐀 𝐋 𝐄 𝐀 𝐍 𝐄

he brought something softer, sweeter out of her—the twinkling remnants of a person she was, perhaps, supposed to be. not a drow raised by a lolth-sworn spy—ever-scheming, trusting no one—but a dark elf who had a place on the surface that wasn't hiding deep in the forest.