#i've been so stressed lately i haven't had time to draw in my free time at all

[spader7]

erik watain

[i-ate-your-dog-srry]

I'm sorry, but I'm going to be taking a break for a bit!.. probably not too long, but I just need to stop. I have overwhelmed myself with things to do and requests I have accepted! It's completely my own fault it's just that things are feeling more stressful than fun right now, and in all honesty, I haven't been doing well lately. I've been having a hard time functioning, and I have had a lot of breakdowns, my depression feels really painful rn and I have experienced some things out of the digital realm that have made me question my entire identity. This is kinda a vent, I guess. I have been feeling like everybody is mad at me, and I have been so paranoid, so I just need to focus on what I want to do for a bit. I'm sorry if I'm making anyone feel disappointed or down. I'll be posting art occasionally, but it will be what I want to draw. Not stuff I feel pressured to. I don't think people are expecting as much from me as i think they actually are, and I just need time. It's so hard to say no and realize I don't have to do things I don't want to for people. I'm sorry. I made a lot of promises to draw people free art, but I don't know if I can get to everybody. I'm so sorry I really am :(( I'll be continuing with the daycare au again after my break because it's something I feel passionate about, so don't worry :]

So, in short, if you don't wana read all that, lol

I'm taking a small break, sorry :,3

[our-blood-is-our-ink]

if your still doing the prompt thing how about 17, 23, 25, 29 with power!bottom claire being stressed and intern!reader offering to help but don't have any sexual experience so claire teaches them

Thank you so much for sending this in! I'm so sorry it took so long to complete, life got very hectic, but I have it for you now! I hope I've done this request justice <3

Afterhours

Ship: Claire Debella x Reader

Summary: When you, an intern working at the governor's office, offer to stay with the governor while she works late into the night, you find yourself in a situation you have only ever fantasized of.

Word Count: 5.8k

Disclaimer: 18+ ONLY, minors dni

Warnings: smut, hints at dark!Claire, pet-names, praise kink, degradation kink, fingering, oral, first time, virgin reader, legal age gap, power imbalance, mommy kink, begging, implied subspace

It's an open secret at the office that Governor Debella is paranoid.

If the extreme vetting process to just simply become an intern is anything to go by, the woman could use some relaxation time.

After all, a single intern hardly would have the ability to take down the political powerhouse that Governor Debella is.

Or, that's what you think anyhow.

You knew you had been lucky to land the job, the experience and credentials that will pad up your resume and qualifications that will come from working here, but some days, all you can think about is how stressed the top boss constantly is.

Being a people pleaser, being a people fixer, you started to stay late, wanting to get as much work done as possible.

Sure, you're only a low level entry personnel, but what you do helps free up time for those above you to focus on more important things.

After a few weeks of being the last one in the office, Governor Debella notices.

“Don't you have someone to get home to? A boyfriend, or a pet, or something?”

You nearly topple back in your seat, startled by your boss’s boss’s boss’s boss (seriously there's a chain of command here, and you're merely a bottom feeder) not having heard her approach from behind.

“Governor!” You gasp, trying to recover. “Uh- I don't- I live with a few roommates, but they never care if I'm there or not. We're all very busy.”

Governor Debella frowns, and crosses her arms.

“There's no reason for you to be staying so late. You're an intern. You don't get paid overtime.”

You shrug.

“I don't have much else to do. Call it volunteer hours.”

(And god, doesn't that sound pathetic, especially because it's true.)

Her frown deepens.

“It's illegal for you to stay and work without pay.”

“Are you telling me I need to start going home at quitting time?”

The words spill from your mouth before you can think them through.

There's a moment of silence, and for a second you could swear it's hesitation on Governor Debella’s face.

“No.” She says, after a beat too long.

There's another, much longer silence.

You hate the quiet, and you find yourself breaking it.

“Then, er, what do you want me to do?”

Governor Debella blinks, and it draws your attention to the dark bags underneath her tired silvery-blue eyes, her makeup must having had rubbed off enough for it to begin to show.

You suddenly realize that perhaps it's just as exhausting for her as it is for everyone else to deal with her stress and paranoia.

“Would you like some company while you work?” You offer, a gentleness in your tone that you hadn't made the decision to speak with. “I could clock out and then just… Sit in your office with you if you'd like. I know how empty the building feels when everyone has left.”

This time, you know you haven't imagined her hesitation.

“I'm under contract, anyhow, Governor. If there's an additional paper you need me to sign, for security reasons, well.” You shrug. “What's one more?”

Again, there's silence, and then…

“Call me Claire, if you're really willing to sit and do nothing for hours besides for staring at my office walls.”

You're a bit shocked she's accepted your offer, and you stumble over your response.

“I- oh. Uh… Okay, um. Claire.”

The governor’s lips twitch, as if she's hiding a smile.

“But not tonight. I was just about to head out, which means you definitely should too. Security won't stick around once I leave, and the night shift…” Claire scowls. “I need to remember to get them replaced.”

It's the most you've ever heard her talk without snapping at someone to do something, let alone to you.

“Isn't that what your assistant is for? To remind you or to arrange that on your behalf?”

“That's only if I remember to tell him.” Claire mutters, before shaking her head. “Shut your computer down, you're not staying if I'm not in the building.”

She waits, hovering over your shoulder as you listen, and she walks with you out to the front of the building.

“You didn't park in the lot?” She asks, when you start to head towards home.

You can feel your face flush.

“I uh… I don't exactly get paid enough to own a car.” You refuse to look at the older woman. “Usually I just walk back.”

“It's two in the morning.” Claire sounds incredulous.

“I have pepper spray.”

“No. You're not walking home anymore.”

Claire has her arms crossed again, and an all too familiar glare is being leveled at you.

Before now, you always thought it was an angry expression.

You're beginning to wonder if maybe it's a stubborn one instead.

You sigh.

“Well short of driving me home yoursel-”

“That's exactly what I'm going to do.”

You barely manage to keep your jaw from dropping as Claire turns, clearly expecting you to follow her.

You suppose if you don't, you won't get too far before she can find you walking.

Or if not, possibly fire you over it tomorrow.

You push down your anxiety.

Don't worse case scenario. You scold yourself.

Claire drives a nondescript silver minivan.

“I have custody every other month.” She explains your unanswered question.

Ah, right.

Sometimes you forget that Claire just recently went through divorce, that she has two little ones to care for.

You remember how the media had dug it all up, how they aired her very private life for the public.

For a minivan, it's pretty nice.

When Claire turns on the car, a few loud notes play, before she quickly slams her palm against the knob that turns the car music on and off.

You raise an eyebrow, but don't say anything about it.

Instead you ask, “how are they?”

“My kids?”

She sounds mildly surprised as she reaches for her seatbelt.

“Yeah.”

You click yours in as she replies.

“They're… They're okay, all things considered.”

She puts the car in reverse, and you rattle off your address so she knows where she's headed.

Her nose wrinkles, and you're willing to bet it's because you don't live in a particularly nice area.

“You had to hire shadows- uh, bodyguards for them, right?”

Claire's hands clench the wheel, turning her knuckles white.

“I don't know of any other governor who's had their children's lives threatened.” She practically growls. “It scares them, but they won't say anything.”

“I'm sorry.” You murmur.

Claire glances at your pale face, and she takes a breath, forcing her body to relax.

“It's not your fault.” She shakes her head. “They're my kids. I'm their mother. I'm bound to be a bit overprotective.”

You choke back an unamused laugh.

“You would hope.”

Claire gives you a quick look, before returning her full attention to the road.

“What makes you say that?”

Oh crap, you didn't mean to invite Claire to dig into your life.

“Er… My parents… They weren't the best.” You mumble.

Claire frowns, eyes still looking forward.

“How old are you again?”

“Twenty-three.”

Claire hums.

“And how much are we paying you again?”

You rattle off the salary.

Claire hums again, and then there's silence for the rest of the short drive.

When she pulls up in front of your apartment, you say, “this is it.”

You undo your seatbelt and open the door, moving to leave.

“I'll have the paperwork ready for you on your desk by lunch.” Claire says.

At your confused look she huffs.

“For your extended night hours.”

Oh!

“Right, thank you. And thank you for the lift.”

Claire nods.

“If you don't have those papers past lunch break, hound my assistant. Don't take no for an answer, I might not remember to let Brian know to expect you to be a bother.”

The word bother echoes around your head, and you swallow down sudden anxiety.

“Sure thing. Good night, Governor-er- Claire.”

“Good night.” The other woman says, and you shut the passenger door firmly behind you as you sprint into your building.

—»•«—

You do have to bother her assistant the next day, and the stack of papers Claire presents you with is frankly ridiculous, but you pull out a notepad, read them through, and write bullet points of what you're agreeing to.

You sign, and initial, and date.

And then you binder clip it all together and drop it with a fairly solid thud onto Brian’s desk.

“Governor Debella will want these to be scanned and filed.” You say, even as an intern knowing the procedure for important documentation.

The man frowns at you.

“You're not done.” Brain says, and then seemingly out of nowhere, produces another stack of papers.

You groan, but your impatience quickly disappears as you stare at the sheet of paper, towards the end of the stack, that says how much of a raise you're receiving for signing on to be Claire’s personal intern.

Claire's personal intern.

$47,000

That was $15k more than what you had been making.

What the fuck.

You sign the papers, and don't say a word.

Slowly, as the day progresses, people trickle out, until you're the last one in the main office.

Brain looks at you as he leaves, and nearly walks into a wall trying to maintain his stare.

You head towards Claire's office and knock on her door.

“Come in.”

She sounds frazzled, and you realize you haven't seen her flying around the office today as you normally do.

“Everything alright?” You ask, taking note of Claire's disheveled state.

“No.” Is the simple answer you get, and you don't push as Claire continues to frantically scribble something out.

You glance around, familiarizing yourself with the private office you so rarely see the inside of, and take notice of a little seating area, with two arm chairs and a very comfortable looking couch.

In addition, there's what appears to be a bar cart, but it's filled with bottled water and sports drinks instead of alcohol, as well as a giant TV screen and what looks like a game console hooked up to it.

Somehow, you can't quite picture Claire playing video games while at work, and you have to wonder if perhaps she has ever been forced to watch one or both of her kids while working.

You don't want to become an annoyance, so instead of pacing the space, you choose to settle into one of the armchairs, curling up with one knee to your chest, the other dangling off the side of the chair.

You stare at the ceiling and let your mind wander as you examine the embedded ceiling lights.

“This is fucking bullshit.” Claire suddenly growls, and the sound of a pen clattering against the plastic wood of her desk sounds through the room.

“What is?” You ask.

Claire’s head jerks up, and for a moment, she looks surprised.

“You're so quiet.” She says. “I forgot you were here.”

You shrug, and don't say I’m good at that, I've had a lot of practice growing up.

You do say, “I didn't want to be a distraction.”

Claire hums.

She does that a lot, you realize.

“Well, maybe instead I can bounce this off of you.”

She gestures for you to come around to her side of the desk, and you quickly skim over what appears to be a proposal for a bill.

“Is it even legal for me to be doing this?” You ask.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Claire shrugging.

“You work for the government office this will be coming out from. It's not illegal, just out of the norm.”

You make a noise of understanding, going over the contents of it, frowning.

“What’s the problem with this?” You ask once you're finished giving the proposal a once-over.

Claire viciously stabs a single digit at some handwritten notes laying next to her keyboard.

“This section, this sentence, this paragraph, this fucking word is wrong, but the thesaurus is being useless-”

“Whoa, whoa.” You slow down what was sure to be Claire spiraling into more stress. “What's the most important thing to fix here?”

Claire blinks, pauses, frowns, then flips through her notes.

“Here.” She finally decides. “This entire section needs to be completely rewritten.”

You scroll to the right place on the computer screen and read it over more carefully.

“I'm pretty sure we can bullshit what you want to say here.” You murmur half to yourself. “It shouldn't be too difficult, most of the framework is here, it's just about closing the loopholes and rewording things to be less polarizing.”

“You make it sound so simple.” Claire grumps, leaning back in her chair and frowning as she crosses her arms.

You shrug.

“I bullshitted my fair share of essays, the difficult part to it is having a decent outline, which you already have.”

The other woman grumbles something under her breath before sitting up, shooing you away with a flick of her hand.

“Alright, well if it's that easy.” Her tone is disgruntled, but her fingers are already clacking against the keyboard, and you take that as your signal to return to the armchair you had been lazing about in.

At the end of the night, she drives you home again.

It becomes a routine.

For the next few months, Claire uses you as a sound board during the late hours, and you've taken to bringing either a book to read or an adult coloring book to do while you sit with her.

And then something big must have happened in her private life, because Claire is an absolute menace even to you one Monday, tearing through the office morale like a hot knife to butter.

You don't dare say a thing, even when she snaps at you later that night for being incompetent, and you just sit and take it.

She doesn't mean it personally.

You know that.

But by the time Thursday rolls around, her attitude hasn't changed, and you've found yourself retreating, becoming as small and invisible as possible in an attempt to spare yourself from Claire’s wrath.

You hear shuffling from where you're curled up on the couch, and you look up, and find Claire downing a shot, a bottle of amber liquid sitting on her desk.

“I know I've been an ass.” She says when she catches your eye.

“You've been stressed.” You excuse.

Claire shakes her head.

“There are better ways of releasing steam.”

“Well what do you usually do?”

You think this must be the first conversation all week that Claire is having civilly.

“Get high. Or have sex.”

Your mouth drops open at her blasé answer.

“And I haven't been able to do either.” She complains.

“Well, er. I could- I could help. If you wanted. To- um. To destress, I- I mean.”

You don't know why those words left your mouth, and the moment they do, you can feel your face heat up.

Sure, you've begun to have the occasional fantasy or wet dream about your boss, but that wasn't the same thing as implying you'd have sex with her.

HR is going to have a field day with you.

You're going to be fired.

You bury your face into your hands, and when Claire gently brushes her fingers against your back, you jump.

You hadn't heard her move.

“Look at me.” She softly says, and you shiver at how low her voice is pitched.

“There's a good girl.” She smiles as you listen, and the pulse of heat that shoots down your spine makes you feel dizzy.

Her hand comes up to cup your face, angling it upwards and forcing you to meet her eyes.

“Do you mean it, baby?” She asks, and you shiver at the pet-name, biting your lip as you grow more aroused. “You'll help mommy destress?”

Your eyes widen at the title Claire has bestowed upon herself, and you flush with embarrassment as the whine you've been fighting to keep down slips out through your mouth and escapes.

Your boss chuckles.

“Such a sweet thing. You had no idea what you were getting yourself into, offering to stay so late with me, did you?”

You frown, confused, despite your ever growing arousal.

“Wh-what do you mean?”

Claire smiles, but it's a sharp thing that causes gooseflesh to erupt along your arms.

“Please, doll. I've seen the way you look at me. And we both know how aware you are of how… Lonely, I have been.”

Her hand reaches out, and she brushes her knuckles gently against your cheek.

“Say yes.”

Her voice is pitched low, and it makes you shiver.

“Say yes to mommy, and I promise, you'll never have to worry about a thing again.”

Perhaps it should be your sign to leave right now, the possessiveness that practically drips from the governor's tone, but all it does is empty your head of thought.

“Yes.” You breathlessly say. “Yes, I'll help mommy destress.”

“Good girl.” She purrs, and when your lips part to allow a moan to tumble out, Claire gently presses against your tongue with two fingers.

When you stay still, frozen and unsure of what the older woman wants you to do, she furrows her brow and withdraws her fingers.

“Have you ever had sex before, honey?”

Immediately you can feel heat rise to your cheeks as you shake your head, shame rising in your throat.

“I- I'm a virgin.” You whisper, tripping over your words. “This is my first time…”

You trail off, embarrassed.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Claire coos, her eyes sparking with something that makes you feel a bit like her prey. “Budge over.” She says.

Mindlessly, you obey, scooting all the way down, and Claire settles back against the arm of the couch, and she lazily smiles at you as she slowly, tantalizingly spreads her legs.

You had no idea a suit skirt could stretch so much.

You had no idea how well it could hide the fact that Claire wasn't wearing any underwear either.

“Teach me how to make you feel good.” You're flooded by a sudden need to please this woman spread out before you, a sudden desire to watch her come undone because of you. “Show me how to touch you.” You beg. “Please.”

Claire chuckles deeply.

“You're going to be so perfect for me, baby.” She husks out, and you can feel how your pussy pulses, leaking wetness against the material of your underwear.

Unlike Claire, you're wearing a pair.

A niggling feeling of regret bothers you.

You wish you were easily accessible for your boss.

You want her to ruin you.

“Come here, honey.” Claire beckons you with a single finger, and you're obedient, crawling until you hover over her.

She reaches her hands up, and oh so gently cups your face with her hands, guiding your head downwards until your lips are just millimeters apart.

One of her thumbs softly brushes over your cheek, moving back and forth in a soothing sweeping motion, and her silvery-blue eyes gaze deep into your own.

The moment stretches, and you grow impatient of waiting, and despite your heart hammering against your ribcage, you close the miniscule gap between your lips and hers.

They're so fucking soft.

Claire isn't your first kiss by any means, but you deeply wish it were.

You're moaning into her mouth like you're a slut, and when Claire enters your own with her tongue, it's all you can do to keep yourself from falling atop of her as your limbs go weak.

Languidly, you make out with your boss, and as you do so, one of her knees makes its way between the apex of your thighs.

When you instinctively buck into the touch, Claire pulls away, and breathlessly laughs at you.

“Remember, doll. This is about mommy, not about you.”

Your head is spinning from the lack of oxygen.

You whimper, and bite your lip.

Her expression softens, and she reaches up to tuck an errant strand of hair behind your ear.

“Didn't mommy say that as long as you're with me, I'll see to all your needs? Make me feel good, and I promise, you'll get a reward, sweet thing.”

You drop your head against her shoulder, and the whine that escapes you causes Claire to reach up and stroke at your hair.

“Let me show you how to touch mommy, baby. Let me show you how she likes to be pleasured.”

It's not fair, you think. No one woman should have the right to say things like that in such a husky sounding voice.

Your pussy throbs.

You lift your head up, and shift your weight, settling back so that you're straddling Claire.

“Please mommy, teach me.” You beg, and the older woman groans at the plain desperation that drips from your tone. “Teach me how to make you scream for your baby.”

At the word ‘scream’, Claire's eyes light up, something that simultaneously sends a shiver of fear through your body, but also a shiver of anticipation.

“You want to make mommy scream, doll? Get off, and I'll show you how.”

Gracelessly you tumble off of Claire and onto the floor, and she shakes her head as she laughs.

“You’re adorable, sweetheart.”

She stands, and as she walks back to her desk, she strips, carelessly leaving her clothes crumbled on the floor.

As she settles back into her leather seat, she spreads her legs wide in a clear order.

Her gaze feels intense as she watches you wobble over to her, before you collapse, dropping to your knees, your legs unable to continue to support your weight.

Your head spins as the scent of Claire’s arousal overwhelms you, and you look up at your boss with wide, pleading eyes.

She chuckles, and her hand comes down to pet your hair, before they tangle and tug at you.

“M-mommy!” You protest. “I still don't know what to do!”

Claire groans, but she doesn't stop guiding you forward.

“You're smart, doll. I'm sure you can figure it out.”

You whimper, but don't protest further, and then the older woman's cunt is directly in your face, and you're powerless as you stick your tongue out hesitantly.

You give her a taste test.

The wetness that is slowly dripping from Claire is a bit salty, but mostly, it just tastes musky.

It isn't bad.

It's just… New.

You give Claire’s pussy a few more tiny little licks, trying to acclimate to her taste, and she tightens her hold on your hair.

“I thought you wanted to make mommy scream.” She bites out, yanking you flush against her pulsing center. “So do it. Mommy needs to relax, and you're going to help.”

Helplessly, you do as Claire commands, and you start lapping at her earnestly.

When she lets out an unrestrained moan above you, you can't help but moan in return, and Claire gasps.

She yanks your head back, her chest heaving slightly, pupils blown wide.

“I never thought you could make such sweet noises, baby.” She breathlessly says.

You feel heat rushing to your face, and Claire's free hand grips your chin when you try to look away.

“Neither did I.” You whisper, ashamed.

Claire tsks.

“None of that now, honey, mommy wants to hear you again. Moan for me.”

Your mouth drops open, and your mind goes blank as you try to process your boss’s demand.

Her grip tightens.

“I said moan for me, bitch.”

It tumbles involuntarily from your mouth, loud and uncontrolled, and Claire's grip on your chin turns painfully.

“Does that turn you on? For mommy to degrade you like the little fucking slut you are?”

The noise you make in response causes Claire’s eyes to glint as she smirks.

“Who knew beneath all that innocence was a whore.” She coos, before jerking your head forward in a clear demand.

You eat her out for what feels like ages, the taste of Claire filling your senses, and you grow progressively lightheaded.

You find your thoughts slipping away as you become utterly focused on not letting one drop of your boss’s wetness to escape your tongue, and you find your hands keeping her legs spread apart as you become more eager in your ministrations.

You feel drunk as Claire begins to make higher and higher pitched noises until finally, she goes so high, it's a shrill thing that your ears can barely withstand, and there's a wetness soaking your face that isn't from how vigorously you had been pleasuring her.

She hasn't told you to stop, though, and you find yourself not wanting to regardless, so you continue to lap at her until she harshly jerks your head away.

“Enough.” She pants, eyes closed, chest heaving. “Enough.”

Your head spins, and you feel dizzy as you stare, memorized by the woman above you.

You open your mouth, aware there's something you want to ask, but you can't seem to conjure enough words in your mind to even speak them aloud.

Silvery-blue eyes open, and the most self satisfied smirk you have ever seen curls at the edges of Claire’s lips.

“How precious.” She murmurs, before sticking her heeled foot out.

You hadn't noticed that despite shedding her clothes, the older woman had kept her shoewear on.

“Why don't you make yourself feel good, and put on a pretty show for mommy, hm?”

You slowly close your mouth, becoming aware it's been hanging open, and give your boss a confused look.

Claire sighs.

“That's right, you really don't have any experience. Could have fooled me, with how well you've made me cum, doll.”

You flush, uncertain if it's from the praise or from the degradation.

You watch as Claire carefully stands, and you're startled when she hisses, her left leg buckling from how loose and relaxed her muscles have become.

“Strip.” Claire orders, her knuckles white from how hard she's clutching at her desk. “And then lay back on the couch.”

You scramble, tugging your shirt off as you simultaneously attempt to undo the button of your pants, and you wind up tripping, falling to the floor.

Claire's laughter causes your face to heat up.

“Looks like my baby needs my help, hm?” She giggles, toeing off her heels so that she can walk properly.

You whine, and can feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes with embarrassment.

“Aw, sweetheart.” Claire pouts. “Mommy thinks you're cute for being so eager. No need to be so sad over it.”

You whine again, but slowly force yourself to sit up.

“Mommy.” You whimper. “Jus’ wanted to feel good.”

The older woman’s amused expression visibly softens, and warm hands reach for you.

You stand with Claire's help, and she almost reverently helps you undress, gently kissing each newly revealed piece of skin.

“Look at this beautiful body, honey. Just so perfect for me.”

Unable to bear the compliment, you choose instead to bury your head against the upper part of Claire's chest.

She coos, and runs her fingers through your hair.

“Oh, sweet thing. Is my baby feeling shy?”

You nod against her, noticing the soft smell of vanilla.

You've never noticed it before.

You had thought it was maybe the air refresher in Claire's office, but no.

It's her.

Your head spins.

And you're so wet.

Claire's laugh rumbles against you, and she easily guides you towards the couch.

You only grow steadily redder as she pulls your legs apart, kissing her way up from one ankle, and then kisses her way back down the other, over and over until you're squirming with your need.

“Mommy, please!” You cry.

Claire groans, eyes fluttering shut for a few moments, before she pulls you close, hooking your legs over her shoulders.

When she noses at your clit, your hands find her hair, and she tsks.

“No, doll. I won't reward you if you pull at my hair.”

Reluctantly, you release your grip, and bury your fingers against the cushion of the couch instead.

“Good girl.” Claire praises, and you moan softly in response.

When her tongue presses against you, you shudder at the new sensation.

It's wet and warm and slightly rough, and–

“Oh, fuck!” You cry out. “Fuck, mommy!”

Claire's hands harshly grip at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, making you whimper, but she continues to lavish her tongue over your clit, and you begin to squirm in earnest.

You've masterbated plenty of times, and have a few toys in your bedside drawer, but that is nothing compared to the older woman’s touch.

Within a few minutes, you're already near orgasm, and you chase the release, fighting the urge to bring your hands back up to tangle into Claire's hair.

And then right when you're about to reach that high, the moment before the waves of pleasure can overwhelm you, she pulls away, and you loudly sob.

“No, please.” You gasp.

Claire smirks, and you whimper at how lustful her gaze is, at how your wetness glistens on the bottom half of her face.

“You want to cum, baby?” She mocks you, pouting. “You want mommy to let you feel good? Then beg for it. I need to hear my cute little doll ask for permission first.”

You whimper.

“Please, mommy.” You can feel tears start to gather with how badly you want this. “Please let your baby cum, I wanna cum for you, I wanna feel good, please, please, please!”

“Hm…” Claire hums.

“Please.” The tears start to roll down your cheeks. “I wanna to cum, mommy. I want you to make me cum, please.”

You let out a sob of desperation when a single digit finds your swollen clit, and lightly begins to circle it.

“Please.” You whisper, your voice getting caught in your throat.

For a moment, you think your boss is going to deny you, and you open your mouth to continue to beg, when instead you gasp, two of Claire’s fingers suddenly stretching you open.

You let out a high pitch noise when she curls the digits, pleasure burning through you, and you buck your hips.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy!” You chant, unable to form any other thought, let alone words.

“Cum for me, princess.” Claire softly orders, and as if your body was designed to obey her every desire, you convulse, a scream tearing it's way from your throat as she continues to finger fuck you, the gushing wetness weeping from your pussy causing a squelching noise, and you writhe as you ride the high.

“Fuck, baby.” Claire groans. “I want you to come for me again.”

You squirm desperately, the aftershocks still pulsing through you, but Claire is stronger than your now limp body, and she thumbs at your clit, sending electric waves up your spine, causing your back to arch painfully.

“FUCK!” You cry out, unable to control your volume, and you can barely hear Claire's responding moan over the static in your ears as a new wave of ecstasy crashes over you.

You're gasping for air with how it steals your breath away, and when Claire collapses on top of you, you gladly welcome it, despite how it further suffocates your lungs of oxygen.

She smells so good. You think as you start to come back to your senses.

The scent of vanilla is still prominent, but it's now mixed with the smell of Claire’s sweat.

Somehow, it's more appealing.

The smell of sex still hangs heavy in the air, and you throb as your body unfairly grows more aroused again.

“Mommy.” You whisper.

Claire groans, burying her head further against your neck.

“You smell so good, princess.” She says. “And you look so beautiful when I fuck your brains out.”

A whimper catches in the back of your throat.

Claire finally moves, shifting until she's sitting upright, and you don't think she's ever looked as enthralling as does now.

Her cheeks are flushed, and you can clearly see faint freckles that are usually hidden under a layer of makeup that Claire must have sweated off, and her hair has gone from stick straight to gentle waves, a halo of frizz framing her face.

You lose yourself in her eyes, at how she smiles so tenderly as she helps you up and to the private attached bathroom in her office.

“Let's get cleaned up, doll.” She says, and you grin goofily at her.

Your head is still spinning.

She giggles, a light sound that makes you join in once a light snort causes her to double over.

“You're so cute.” She smiles, and you obediently spread your legs when she taps your thigh.

She gently runs the wash cloth in her hand over the sticky residue of your arousal, and you flinch every time she passes over your clit.

“You’re still so sensitive.” She breathes out. “Did mommy not satisfy you, doll? Do you want mommy to keep going until it hurts for me to?”

“I- ah!” You cry out when Claire firmly swipes the cloth over your swollen bud. “I just want to be good.”

Claire peers up at you, and you hold your breath as she weighs your words.

“Next time then, maybe.” She decides, and you aren't sure if your shoulders slump with relief or disappointment.

She finishes cleaning you up, before moving on to herself, telling you to wait as she does so.

You watch as her back muscles move with her motions, and you can't resist the urge to kiss them, to nip at them.

Who knew the governor would have such fairly well defined muscles?

“Baby.” Claire warns.

“Mmm… Mommy.” You reply, before darting the tip of your tongue out against her warm skin.

“Baby, if you want to go home, you'll stop.”

“But you're so pretty. I can't help it.”

Claire turns around, shaking her head.

“You're adorable, honey. Come on, let's get dressed so we can head home.”

Claire has to help you into your shirt and pants, and you don't notice when she pockets your underwear instead of giving it back to you when she spots it under the couch.

Before you leave, your boss insists on watching you drink a glass of water, predicting you'll be too tired to do so once she drops you off at home, expressing how important it is to her that you take care of yourself.

By the time you get to her car, you're stumbling with exhaustion, beginning to crash as the endorphin high wears off.

You can't keep your eyes open once she starts driving, and when you let out a huge yawn, Claire glances at you.

“Go to sleep, baby.” She soothingly says. “I'll wake you up when we get home.”

You're used to listening when she asks you of something, and so you don't think twice as you finally allow your eyes to stay close, and you drift off, Claire's warm hand on your thigh.

[madfantasy]

Dear blogging

Wish you peace, always. Considering all, it been extra rough. My guardians were sick, and my fragile of a stability was about to break— but it okay now, and the pendulum of consciousness returned swaying in my head.

Somehow in the middle of everything, I was starting to feel okay and accept that this is the best it can get for this non verbal Mani. I honestly I stopped living as if there was tomorrow maybe the majority of 2023, zero drive or hopefulness, and lately started to accept that there's no denying that I'm not made to survive this life, and dropped all pretence that I'm able, set a 5 years counter. Because if mere looking at people's faces distress me so much that I blank out &/or go mute, since childhood, no amount of me forcing myself to watch videos/ pictures over and over can fix that. That's simply how I'm made and I know that now, and in a way it's bringing me peace.

Because I thought I'm bratting when I wore my headphones to cancel out noise that were literally going to drive me insane, or when I couldn't respond to messages knowing that I can articulate deeply in writing but ignoring all the endless times when I simply couldn't, and have forced myself to eat many things that set me days in nausea and abdominal pain while I only enjoy liquids more and get high off of fruits, I love them so much half my OCs are named after some.. and drew.. drew even before I spoke because it was my only outlit to express because how much I'm told I'm like a robot, I'm so expressionless and non reactive and disgustingly literal, even when they actively beat me black Nd blue to stop drawing, I couldn't.. where do you free those emotions when U can, i needed emotion displays and heartfelt trimmers, thrilling or killing, I needed to do them as if my life depended on it, and I haven't realised it back then, but my life was dependent on them, even when I had 'no talent ' , as I have always been told.

(commissioned by precious Julia ♥️🖤)

And besides drawing my needs, I actually, physically, started to feel better when I didn't do what my body said it literally can't do, all my life:

-Walked away from my guardians arguments, my chest stabbing pains became less frequent.

Stopped "practicing" my voice &/or facial expressions, I talk for 2 minutes, immediately my whole face muscles hurt, voice is cracking and gone, I don't feel like my eyebrows hurt as much. I'm okay being the monotone no expresso train c:

-stopped eating what I "don't like" (I mean it's not like I have much choice, but stopped feeling guilty over refusing it cuz food be tight) Nd now I can actually drink more water, and my tummy aches are on lower levels now

-i stopped dealing with Discord, or group chats in general cuz I don't expect accommodation over things I can't deal with. Stopped stressing over doing engaging material that no body seems to care about, cuz I'm not a good judge of demand, or stressing over either I should be thanking everyone who spams me with likes or not, (while I appreciate it to the moon) 90% of the time they don't respond Nd Im forced to think like I've done something wrong. I'm now at more ease with posting — (literally I have to fight the urges to delete my socials daily) just with interacting with who addresses me (I lov U guys sm) and I've been more relaxed from it.

I returned to "speaking in riddles" cuz if I don't use the words my brain spews no matter how weird they R, a tire will pop somewhere on the other side of an AU- idk lo'

-i rock, hum and laugh OUT my maniacal laugh, hard and strong, continued loving and talking to my plushies as I used to do, the easiest thing I could do to feel calmer again. As everyone should do

.. I stopped saying the word sorry. It's a naughty Mani era.

Accepting these facts and many, even with having no will to live had me saner than I ever been, at least I hope so.

I just know that I have a few to be grateful of: that I'm still here somehow, even with my dwindling income, Nd my internet not worth costing 120$± I'm always grateful for the sudden one or two commissions that keeps me here and buys me coffee and pumpkins seeds..

I still struggle horrindously with sleep. But I'm grateful at least I'm at pure ease playing games. Games been my go to media for knowing basically all based on books they were made about, like Severus and Tintin, I still play their ps1 games! Tho I got stuck on this game & their sleep has given me so much ease lo

I'm at my happy place rn, heh.

Bonus panel: ye they R hungry for that SHI- lo 🙈

And an honorary appearance of my OC with Tintin hehe

Stay safe, don't feed the overconsumption machine, don't give up on your heartstrings's stringers, don't worry— there are people who think and feel like you always between the crowds, and I'm thankful that I share the same timeline with you♥️🖤

Sweet dreams 🌃 19.2.2024

[miramizar]

Hello! Your Secret Santa Again ❄️ Many apologies for the long silence I hope you're doing well!

Thank you for the Exo vid recommendations in your last answer! I haven't seen that many of the concert stages yet and both the ones you named were amazing!! that acoustic medley though!! But since you asked, right now my favorite stages are... maybe the 2019 Smtown in Japan Gravity and the KBS awards For Life?

You also picked the sweetest Suho moments, very fun to revisit. <3 Our leader really puts his heart into everything he does. I haven't started his drama yet either although it looked exciting! I have been watching Xiumin's ceo-dol mart, I just have the last couple episodes left. What have you been watching lately?

My favorite bbh moments... are many lol. I love the late night car ride lives he was doing for a while just singing and driving.

Favorite Kyunsoo songs... all of Empathy? I also really like Wonder off the new album.

I don't know that I have a SHINee bias, I feel like it changes every day but I adore them all. For WayV either Ten or Kun (speaking of lovable dorky leaders).

I like SuJu as well (so many good songs!!) I haven't heard any VIXX- what's your song rec? For Pentagon now is probably a rough time to get into them haha but I would recommend looking up Shine and Naughty Boy those are my favorites, or maybe Daisy or Dr. Bebe if you like a more intense concept.

I am not really a true horror fan but I really like the sort of offbeat gothic creepiness (think Addams Family or SHINee Married to the Music energy) and I like having a season to play that up. I don't have any halloween plans, but I decorated! What about you? Do you celebrate Halloween?

Re: your present, I wanted to ask if there was anything specific you might want? I mostly do digital art, but I can also do traditional drawing, moodboards, edits...I already have some ideas, but lmk if there's anything you had in mind!

Talk soon! <3

Hi!! ❣️ Oh it's definitely okay! And please accept my apologies as well - it's been rather hectic lately and I didn't have wi-fi for a bit and I caught a small cold etc. so I took way longer to answer you than I intended to... I hope that this doesn't make you feel too stressed about my gift? I'd love to receive anything really - I did pick fanart on the sign-up sheet, but I like all the options you mentioned so please feel free to do whatever you feel inspired to do! ✨

How have you been since our last talk? Hearing about you decorating during Halloween made me smile (>v<)🧡 I don't celebrate it myself, (I've been getting ready to celebrate Advent instead hahah) but I do like the aesthetic of it somewhat? And I get what you mean about the Shinee/Addams vibe! There's some humour to the creepiness, which is really nice! ✨ Still, I have to admit that I like watching/listening to darker horror movies/tales in every once in a while, especially if the stories are good (>v<;)

Oh, don't mention it! I'm just happy to hear that you liked those stages as well 💗 and you picked some great ones too! I tend to forget to look for SMTown videos and rewatch the music show stages for some reason, but now I have the perfect opportunity to do so 💫

Aahfbdf your kind words has me smiling really wide over here (>///<)💖 He really does, and I love and admire him so much for it 💕 I'd love to talk to you about Myeon's drama when we get to watch it! And I'd also love to hear what you thought about Xiu's drama - I've seen some gifsets from it and it looks fun! ✨ Sadly I haven't been able to watch anything lately, but I really want to get back into it! (>^<) I've been playing some Ni no Kuni though, maybe that counts ahah

That's a lovely answer! I also love his spontaneous lives where he's just being himself, it's so genuine somehow 💖 You also picked some great songs of Soo's, I can't help but agree with you on loving the entire "Empathy" album! 💚 I have to ask you a hard question now - what is your favourite Baek album? And favourite songs sung by him?

I understand that! They're a bunch of lovable dorks, who's not to adore? (the same goes for pretty much all the groups hahah)💕 I think it's the same with me regarding WayV though, I also gravitate towards Ten and Kun whenever I stop to think about my bias (>w<;)

ooh you're also an elf? I have to ask about the songs you think are good then ahdfbf 🎵Thank you for the Pentagon recommendations! I actually heard Shine and Dr Bebe before, I just forgot? I do like both though! And Naughty boy is so cute, while Daisy really is more intense - but definitely my style! 💗 For Vixx, I got into them thanks to Fantasy, and I still think of it as a favourite along with Shangri-La and Hyde - I like their dark concept, but at the same time some of their gentler songs are the sweetest I've ever heard, like Love letter and The rain! 💌

Thank you for answering all my questions so far, and I'm sorry again for taking so long to reply - I really enjoy reading your messages and I look forward to talking to you again soon ❣️ Take care!!

[diariesofapisces]

Lately

I have started vaping again and I don't like the path I am. My friend gave me her vape so of course I am hitting that shit like it keeps me alive. Of course, I feel shitty all the time. Duh. What did I expect? I will if my friend is not a nicotine addict so I don't go absolutely insane. I am realizing nicotine is horrible for me and I need to quit. I don't want to become that person. Today I have been rotting but I have been taking advantage of the fact that I don't want to leave my bed by doing creative stuff. I wrote an article for fun about a designer I like which was super fun. I love that my medication has made me motivated to actually do stuff. I really love it. I also whipped out a huge part of an essay that was kinda stressing me out. My topic is naked dressing which is super interesting so I actually really enjoyed wrighting it. It's nice that I know enough about fashion to make it actually cool. I am really proud of what I've done so far and I better get a good grade on it. I also worked on my drawing stuff I actually really like what I've come up with. I am proud of myself for continuing to create even though I am super depressed. Right now I feel okay. I feel pretty good right now but I don't know how long that feeling could last. At first, my meds made me dizzy and have headaches but now I think it's balanced out. At least I am not having crying episodes. I am still butt hurt about stuff in my life but I care a little less. I know he's with my friends watching that stupid movie but I don't really mind. I don't think I would have a good time anyway. I haven't opened his message and he's been on delivery for TWO days. Yay for me. I said I was sorry for giving him a nasty look and just said ur ok. This is weird for him because it wasn't embellished with gay ass emojis and he took forever to respond. At first, I read are you okay, but then I stopped being stupid and realized what he actually said. All I want is inner peace. All I want is to be actually done and wash my hands clean of whatever happened. I want to be free. I am also realizing that I can make a good life for myself. And hell lets be so for real I have kinda done it alone. No one has shown me support, believed in me, or shown me how to do things. I have had to learn it myself and I've gotten this far. Might as well go all the way. I am getting better and I am hopeful for the future. I don't know if what I am saying is actually real maybe its the hormones idk.

[dzpenumbra]

12/11/22

Max has her appointment tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous. She's doing fine, she's been puking in the mornings but I'm like 100% sure it's because I haven't been letting her free-feed because I haven't had a dish available for that yet. The tell was her breaking into the treat container this morning and feasting. No puke this time. So yeah. I'm guessing eating at 9PM and then not eating again until 1PM is... not good for her. It's probably not good for me either. I hope I can get things straightened out in my life a bit to ensure that she doesn't have to suffer from my sleeping/losing track of time problems.

The appointment is going to be her first blood draw since she started the hyperthyroid meds. She's put on a good amount of weight, which is awesome, a big thing with hyperthyroidism is just shedding pounds and she was like skin and bones for a while there. She looks very healthy, though she does sleep a lot and she hasn't really played at all since we got to the new place. Maybe climbing the stairs a few times a day just wears her out? Maybe she's just getting old. I dunno. She's 16, it can be hard to tell.

I had to give her Gabapentin tonight. It's always a weird feeling dosing your pet. I've had to do it a few times, with my German Shepherd before she passed and my cat for her first blood draw. It's not the end of the world, I just... I feel like an evil stepmother from a horror movie or something. "Don't worry dear, I've got your delicious dinner right here, you'll feel much better reeeeal soon! Bwahahahah!" I mean... lucky her, she gets to be high as shit for an entire day for free, but like... being dosed and not understanding what's going on is like... that's scary shit, honestly. So yeah, I have to like not think about it much and just be as sweet and kind to her as possible.

Tomorrow, I have to get up early to get her meds to her 2 hours before the appointment. I hate bitching about waking up at like 10:30. It makes me feel so lame. But this has been a serious thing for me for a long-ass time. There was a 6 month period in the last decade where I was waking up before like noon. That's a very long time. Yet, I still feel like I'm gonna get shit if I go "oh god, I have to wake up before 11". Here's my thinking on it. My cat gets her meds at 1AM. My sleep ritual revolves around that. No sleep ritual just doesn't really feel... possible... it's like the only structure my life has. If I drop that, shit just goes into absolute chaos real quick. So that takes about... an hour, maybe an hour and a half. Depends on how distracted I get. So, that puts me around 2-3AM. If I fall right asleep, then I can get up around 10-11 no prob. But what's been happening lately is that I do the meds and then I get distracted... and I don't start my sleep rituals until like... 2 or 2:30. Yeah... so that's gotta not happen tonight. And it's 12:56 right now. Yep. So... I guess my night is over? Sucks because I'm not really tired yet. Oh well.

Honestly, more than anything, I'm just tired of being stressed out about this shit. Guess what? Everything I just said up there, implying the consequence of people judging me? Yeah, people will judge me. People will judge me because of my skin color, because of my haircut, because I have a beard, because I'm single in my mid-30's, because of how I smell, because I'm an artist. A person I shared a room with judged me because I wore all black clothes one day. I shit you not, he was fucking baffled and stunned and was super snobby about it, like he was scared of me or something. I literally didn't even notice that I was wearing all black, I just put on clean clothes. So... 1) Why the fuck do I care what shallow, judgmental people think of me? Isn't that just a clear indicator of people that are like... toxic to me? and, most importantly... 2) No other person is judging me when these imaginary things happen. When I say "god I hate how people always judge me for getting up late." No one even knows or cares when I wake up. The only one judging me on that is myself. But, you know, when you are surrounded by shitty people for the majority of your life... that shit just lives in your head, like the world's shittiest roommate. And they can be super convincing, because... you know... they're you.

On that note, 1:05AM. I'm gonna finish these like 3 day old nachos and start getting ready for bed. Fingers crossed my girl's blood levels come back healthy tomorrow, she's been looking much better but... this is something that she's just stuck with the rest of her life. As long as she's happy and not hurting, I'm happy.

[nethercomfies]

A personal note

This is mostly a bit about why I've been gone so long and sort of "future plans" I have for this blog, so... If that doesn't interest you, feel free to skip this post.

On where I've been:

Initially, I took a break from Tumblr due to some larger drama going on behind the scenes that I inevitably got tangled up in... I don't really want to go in too much detail as it's all in the past now and I generally don't want to bring up any drama on this blog, just as a small explanation I guess?

Anyway, then life just happened... Went on a vacation, moved to a different town, college starting back up again, and a bunch of other stressful things, along with a loss of someone incredibly important to me... Overall, I didn't really have the time or energy to write, or deal with running a blog for that matter, so Tumblr had to be put aside for a while as I tried to sort my life again.

Honestly, I don't even know if half the people I used to interact with on here are still around (Except for Lost... Hi, Lost! :) 💛... Also Hori and Addy who've already popped up in my notifications 👀), but it might be nice to interact with people again as well, as I haven't been able to talk to a whole lot of people lately either...

On future plans:

I'm in my final year of college, preparing for finals in July and some other exams spread out along the way, as well as having a lot of homework and stuff to study for. In short, I don't have a WHOLE lot of time for the forseeable.

But I'd still like to get back into writing, since it's been a nice escape amd some of you guys have always been so sweet and kind to me, so I hope that in my free time I'll manage to put something out every once in a while.

It might be mostly shorter scenarios, headcanons, etc., but I'll try my best.

I've actually been sort of working on something bigger in the background, which is still in the planning stages, but will probably take up a large part of my writing, but in the meantime I'll try to squeeze something smaller in every once in a while.

I've also been trying to create more art again, so if I get to the level where I'm comfortable enough to share that again, I might throw in a few drawings every once in a while too.

Aside from that, I don't know yet how active I'll be on here... I remember getting really overwhelmed at times, so it's fully possible that I'll just pop in here to post and then flee to my private blog again, but idk about that yet.

Just... If I'm slow to respond to asks, dms, etc., that's why. I'll try my best to keep up, but it'll depend on how much energy I have for all of that. I'm not trying to ignore anyone, just doing my best to not run out of energy :)

That's mostly all I've wanted to talk about, thanks for reading this. Have a good night, everyone!

[my-little-wraithlings]

Update

I can never make up my mine which blog to add things on. This is my horror blog but I was also trying to use my personal blog for posts. I suppose I can just cross reblog them.

I think I would like to start posting my fic and headcanon updates to this blog.

Anyway, here's some fics I'm currently working on:

(Evil Dead the game - NSFW) AoD!Ash/Evil Ash "make a fucked up deal for the good of the group" fic that has rapidly turned in a philosophical discussion of character and choice.

(Evil Dead/Reanimator - SFW) Ash/Herbert. Herbert is hurt while the two are out doing mundane errands and Ash calls into question his own trauma and just how far he'll go to keep his partner.

Here's some fics I want to start:

(Evil Dead/Reanimator) Pre-established Ash/Herbert living in Arkham. Their house is broken into while they're both at work. The lab is ruined and neither realizes that the reagent has been stolen. To try and cheer Herbert up, Ash takes him to a circus that's in town. While there late, Herbert stumbles upon evidence of reagent in the circus.

(Killer Klowns from Outer Space) Dave/Debbie/Mike. movie aftermath hurt/comfort fic where the trio starts to realize that a lot has changed about them all that night.

I would like to write some sort of Jason Voorhees/Harry Warden fic sometime soon.

A fic I have finished:

(Evil Dead the game - SFW) AoD!Ash + Annie have a heart-to-heart one night while the group is resting. They discuss what happened after Annie's death and Ash contemplates where he has fucked up along the line. Link

Vaguely related to the Ashbert fics, I've been drawing a lot of Ashbert lately. here's my art blog Link

I want to get around to drawing more Jason/Harry art as well as start some Killer Klown art. We'll see how this all goes. Uni is hitting me hard and my dad's having surgery next month so I'm very stressed currently and haven't had time to be creative.

But I love to talk about all my horror boys. So, feel free to drop in and say high.

[neptunetheplanet7]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 - 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 & 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 2.1k

warnings: swearing, slight angst in the beginning but not really, fluff

i owe you guys an apology. i’m not very active on tumblr as of posting. i’m sorry about that. school has been hard on me and i’ve been very stressed. i’ll try to do better in the future :)

listen to the music masterlist

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Armin was discharged from the hospital only a day after the accident. The doctor said there was nothing extraordinary to worry about. But of course, even with this information, Eren still made a fuss. That much was clear when he walked through the door with Armin's arm slung over his shoulder.

"I didn't break my leg, Eren. I don't need to use you as a crutch," Armin grumbled as the two walked into the kitchen from the garage. He reached back to shut the door with his free hand.

Eren rolled his eyes. "Well, excuse me for supporting you in these trying times."

"I don't need your support," they scoffed. He unwrapped his arm and made his way across the room.

Eren gave him the finger, rather aggressively. The gesture wasn't reciprocated since the blond already disappeared into the hallway.

Sucking on a freeze pop, you leaned back against the cool countertop. "Welcome home, lovely. Have fun?"

Eren sighed loudly as he walked toward the freezer and got a popsicle for himself. He grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the top of the wrapper off into the trash.

He said sarcastically, "Oh, absolutely I did." He paused and shook his head disapprovingly. "He's a lot bitchier when it's us two. How's it been here?"

You shrugged. "So, so. Pretty quiet."

He nodded and pushed up the pineapple-flavored ice. "Thought so. Jean's gone today, obviously. Is Mikasa here?"

You huffed softly at the mention of her. "I haven't seen her since breakfast. She's been upstairs all day."

He frowned. "Oh, I see. Armin told me about the kiss, by the way. At first, I was gonna make fun of you for passing out but now that just seems cruel."

"You think?" You laughed lightly and rested both arms on the counter.

The sound that followed from him was more of an exhale than a laugh. "Listen, Y/n, even if she's avoiding you right now, I know she'll come around. Just wait and see."

"You're right," you mumbled, sticking the freeze pop in your mouth again. Armin basically said the same thing. Eren sent you a quick smile and patted your shoulder before leaving through the hallway.

You swallowed the remaining ice and threw away the wrapper. Noticing the bin was full, you took the trash to the bigger bin outside. Maybe doing some chores would distract you from Mikasa for a while.

Plus, today was the only day that allowed you to do so. Practices for the band's upcoming performance were every day until the date of it. You'd be rehearsing 24/7 since it was scheduled on such short notice.

It was going to be at a middle school some of your friends went to. The DJ they booked before flaked and your manager was kind enough to offer your talents.

Jean was meeting with Hannes and the school administrators to work out some extra kinks before the practices began.

The only day there wasn't a rehearsal was on Eren's birthday. You all decided it'd be best to take the day off to celebrate and set up for the party that would be happening later in the night.

The day passed easily as you got caught up on chores that weren't done over the past few days. The house was messier than you liked it although it hadn't been long at all since the previous clean-through. However, it had been a hectic week.

Speaking of hectic, when Zeke was there, he sure made himself at home. That much was clear when you made it to the living room portion of the basement.

Eren probably couldn't find time to clean up yet. Either that or he was just lazy because at that moment he was more focused on a pinball machine than the state of his living space.

His brother's suitcases were lying open by the couch. To be honest, you didn't love the idea of a criminal's possessions lying around your home. So, you decided that throwing them in a storage closet was the best option. 

When you finished tidying up, you started a game on the pinball machine next to Eren's.

His birthday was in three days. The house looked a lot better than it did when you started, which was perfect for throwing a party. You could only hope it would stay that way.

After a few hours of playing games with him, Jean came down the stairs to let you know he was back from the school. He left when he saw neither of you were interested in what he had to say.

Once it got dark outside, you left Eren to his own devices and went to your own room to chill out some more.

Unfortunately, when you flopped down on your bed, Mikasa started to consume your thoughts again. In an effort to fight them, you turned on a show to distract yourself.

For the slow hours you spent staring at the screen, you couldn't focus, not once. No matter how hard you trained your eyes on the screen, you still thought about her.

Sighing, you got out of bed and walked to your bedroom door. You were careful of the creaking hinges, it was around midnight. Everyone would either be asleep or close to sleeping.

Except for Armin. You had no idea what he did at night but you knew better than to ask. However, he was probably pretty tired from the time spent at the hospital. So, there was a solid chance he actually was asleep.

You crept outside, checking that the front door didn't make too much noise. Your car was parked in the driveway since there was never room in the garage. The gravel underneath your feet made noise as you walked toward it. You pushed yourself onto the hood and leaned back against the windshield.

Drawing in a long breath, you stared up at the sky. You needed to calm down and clear your mind. This would help, as it usually did.

Even if it was a little chilly, it was warm for a night in March, especially this late.

The stress that bubbled inside you simmered down the longer you watched the thin clouds dim the stars.

Any negative thoughts you had about the situation with Mikasa or the previous days seemed to disappear the longer your focus was on the sky.

Gravel crunched and you snapped your gaze toward the noise. Sitting up, you were surprised by what you saw.

Mikasa froze when she realized she'd been caught. She held a white blanket in her arms and still had one foot on the porch steps.

"Hi," she greeted quietly.

"Hey." Your breaths were a tad ragged from the initial scare.

She came closer to the car. "What are you doing out here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing." You took the blanket from her arms and she pushed herself up to sit beside you.

"The door to your room was open when I came downstairs for a drink. I thought you'd be out here."

"Oh." She knew you better than you thought.

She spread the blanket over both of your laps and leaned down on the hood of the car.

She looked at the sky but your eyes were still on her. "Why did you come out here?"

After a moment of silence, her gaze finally shifted to you. "I wanted to apologize. Ignoring you was immature. Plus, I remember how you used to come out here when you were upset. Above all else, I wanted to make sure you were alright." A blush coated her cheeks when she finished talking.

You took note of that and couldn't help but blush yourself. "I'm okay. I understand why you'd ignore me, though. If you didn't want it, that was probably your only option since we have to see each other so much."

Her brows furrowed and she sat up again. "What? Y/n, did you think I didn't want to kiss you?"

You blinked stupidly. "Well, yeah."

She laughed. "You can be so ridiculous sometimes. I've always wanted to kiss you like that. I'm just not great at expressing it."

Even more heat rushed to your face. You gawked at her and she looked down at her feet. Many things were running wild in your head. For some reason, though, there was one thing that was so prominent in your mind once you remembered it.

Out of all the questions you could have asked, this one came out rather bluntly. "What did you mean in your letter? What should I know?"

Her eyes widened, she didn't expect you to ask about that yet, and quite frankly, neither did you. Nonetheless, she answered anyway. "If only you knew. That's what I wrote. That's easy to answer now. If only you knew how long I've loved you."

She turned her face and made direct eye contact with you. She seemed to know the next question on your mind. "You never knew it but I've been in love with you since high school."

That can't be right. This is a dream. You're dreaming, Y/n. What the actual fuck?

"Are you sure? Then why did you ask Jean out when we were seniors? Why did you break it off with me mere weeks before?" Your mind was racing and it translated into sentences quickly spilling from your lips.

She still looked straight at you. Her facade of confidence was making you nervous. "I'm sure. Back then, I was so afraid of what I felt for you. Pretending the feelings weren't real and projecting them onto Jean seemed like my easiest option. For years I convinced myself I loved him. But it was never him. It was always you. I felt so awful when I realized what I was doing."

And just like that, the facade fell. Her words were no longer held confidence. She was afraid of how you'd react. She had little idea that you were ready to be just as vulnerable as her.

"When did you realize?"

Looking up at the dark sky, she pushed a stray tuft of hair away from her face. She continued, sighing softly before she spoke, "When I saw him that night with Marco, I was relieved that I didn't have to be with him anymore. When I tried to figure out why that was, I could only think about you. Every feeling that scared me before came back. I got so scared that I left. But, even then, they never went away."

You were having some trouble believing that this was actually happening. Mikasa loved you back this entire time. If she hadn't kissed you before, you would've thought this was only possible in your dreams.

However, things were actually starting to make sense. That whole time it was your fault. Every night of those two years you spent wondering about what you could have done to make her stay. It turns out you did enough. You were the reason she left. 

But maybe you were the reason she came back as well. You could recall something Jean had told you a day before she came home.

"Why did you come back? You needed to do something?"

She looked back at you again. "I've just done it," she said.

Before you could process her words, she was leaning closer to you. Her lips were so close to brushing yours but she paused before they could fully touch. "Can I?" she whispered.

"You don't even have to ask."

When she kissed you, you felt everything. Her feelings, your feelings. The world was minuscule compared to you two. Anything else meant nothing at that moment.

It was the first time in a long time that you felt fully complete. You were a puzzle and she was the missing piece. It was like before, only this time, you knew for sure what you wanted.

Pulling away, you managed an, "I love you too, Mikasa." 

There were no other words that would feel so good to finally say out loud.

Everything was clear. You understood. 

Now more than ever, you wanted to be with her.

posted: 9/26/21

neptunetheplanet7© 2021

no reposts, edits, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

[angelatmidnight1]

hehe, im okay with sharing this :) Since im a huge nerd, I was fortunate enough to get in a Games and Multimedia course, cause i wanna be a videogame artist. And i love what I'm doing, but as of right now, I'm also reaaaally tired. It's all fun and games, pun intended, but I've been working nonstop since the beginning of my second semester, that started back in march. I'm currently developing a 2D game along with 2 of my groupmates, and I'm working as a concept artist, in-game artist, animator aaaand UI designer– a girl can only take so many roles!! And i gotta admit, sometimes it's hard to take care of myself; I've had days where it was very hard to get out of bed, i have skipped some meals and haven't taken rest days when I should've, but I'm aware of that, and I've been doing whatever i can to avoid burnout. But yeah, i still have 1 month and a half left, and I'm really trying hard to take some pressure off of my own shoulders. I have a very busy schedule because of this but so long as i don't make a big deal out of it, i should be fine. Now,,, i made a fatal mistake and left my ps4 back at home so I can't even play videogames on the little free time that i have, god what was i thinking, way to go ding dong–

Anyway, that's enough rambling from me, how have you been? :D

That sounds awesome :D A few of my friends have majored in Game Design and similar majors to also become video game artists. I admire artists cause I can't draw to save my life. It's good that you love it too. It sounds like a ton of work but I hope it pays off for you. And yeah, I can definitely understand wanting to avoid burnout. I personally got burned out of my last program and my grades tanked, so yeah anything you can do to de-stress should work wonders. I'll be rooting for ya for the next 2-ish months 😊

I've been alright. My sleep schedule is botched six ways to Sunday, so I don't know if I'm tired from getting too much sleep or not enough. Right now I'm working at an elementary school, so I've been getting up earlier than I usually do. But then that means I also go to bed super early, and wake up at weird times, and repeat the cycle lol. And some of the kids I work with (anywhere from K-4) are getting rowdy because there's 12 days of school left and we are just coming off of a holiday. So, coffee has been saving my life lately 😆I'm just counting down until summer break at this point. Oh and I have a second interview for a full time job next week, so I hope I'll be able to walk away from substitute teaching after this year. But yeah, I'm just counting down until I can say to heck with these kids and have a relaxing summer.

[bittybattybunny]

I hope your not feeling down on your writing skills because I haven't caught up and commented on your latest releases. It's not you it's that I pick too many fanfics to follow and they all update a lot and I've been so busy and I've fallen behind on so many fics from various authors and sometimes my depression just makes me want to lie in bed all day doing nothing and it doesn't help I have to spend my limited spoons helping family everyday. I know these aren't good excuses, but I do sympathize with the lack of energy feeling at least. But your work really does bring a lot of joy to my life. It's so fun keeping up with your various AUs, and your latest one that features Kaya as Spider King has me really hyped because I want to learn more about Kaya, she's so fun! And Ruclipse is such a good comfort ship that just hits all the things I like seeing in a ship. You're so amazing and creative and it's awful that anyone would try to make you feel otherwise! Like your newest OC, Justin Tyme seems like such a lovable dumbass bastard. I love his wild, curly hair and his dapper outfit. I can't wait to see what dumb shit he gets himself into! I know this is really long and rambly, but I hope you know you have fans who genuinely love your work. I don't know if you're still thinking about that one comment you mentioned that got you really down, but honestly, fuck that guy. I don't know what they said but it must have been pure BS to have you doubting your hard earned art skills. I wish I could do more to prove you're awesome and that your fans really admire you, I just hope you don't stop sharing what you love because some rando was nasty for no good reason. Because we love what you do!

It's not like anyone one person nonny so please don't blame yourself. This has been an ongoing thing for a few months actually...

it's just a general thing over all lately like. I mentioned this in dm's with a friend but overall past few months I've had lower engagement overall with my works and it really does a number on my confidence. More so because like your latter point.

yes, I am still very much thinking about that one negative comment. Because that person also has the need to comment on other things and I even had a thing asking why I took a few weeks to update (when reality I posted to another ongoing fic and my TLC chapters are long chapters) and just the fact they could tear into a character (yes it was a comment on a character specifically and not even a main character it's a side character who has an important role for Snatcher's growth as a person down the line) then go saying "why didn't you update" when I posted a double update that week---

Like it lives in my head rent free and I want to literally cry because like the character is a focal in an upcoming chapter and I can't deal with another "why are they back" type thing. because "everyone finds them annoying"

And I'll be honest. it was Kaya. Like I've been trying to have fun with my BCU stuff with her as Spiderking because it's engaging for me and me and @/doodleimprovement even came up with a b-plot involving Kaya and Hattie trying to hook Nell and Marcus together and it's one of the best things as well as Kaya and Nell having a really good relationship.

but because of that one comment it makes me hesitant to do anything with Kaya despite she's one of my oldest ocs, my most thought out ocs and I adore her beyond anything. Like yes she's over powered and such and in TLC rn she comes off as a know it all, but upcoming chapters will show she's just a spacey kid who's trying to fit into a role others decided for her and isn't really as all mighty as she seems. Snatcher even ends up thinking of her as a little sister more than anything. Like fuck I'm even hesitant to share anything on her actual story despite how much work is in it. Like she's my favorite Oc (that's why shes my discord icon, and I'm pretty sure she's my twitter icon as well)

And like the points in the comment just. IDK they didn't fit to her, if anything the points are more suited to be shot at Eclipse.

Which is another thing I just get iffy on. I love RuClipse and everything with it. I love writing and drawing the dorks. But I'm now so afraid if Kaya could be attacked for only showing in a handful of chapters that don't even touch on who she is, when is someone going to finally tell me off on my wolf? who's going to tear into a character I pour a lot of personal shit into to try and comfort myself?

I use Ruclipse to deal with my own romantic heart, they are what I wish I could have so I love to write them, I hurt them but i like to make them happy in the end. Someone who can deal with your highs and lows. No ones perfect but you can still figure it out and love even the negative parts (I am a heavy romantic OTL)

he is in fact a lovable bastard. i have fun plans and he gives me an excuse for why Cel is so tired and having to be the brain cell and how she even wound up working with the time kids when she's so much older than they are. Currently I'm trying to think of how to use him and honestly I think he's gonna wind up hella comic relief fun guy who's just making a mess and do his own side story while Hat and Bow are busy in subcon----

thank you, I don't mind the rambly it kinda gave me a chance to get this off my chest... like I've typed this kinda response up time and time again and I always delete. I feel like I'm whining because I get upset but it's just, I spend so much time making things, I use all my spoons on either working or creating, I just want to know if it means anything but then negativity lives in my head because what's a functioning meat cube??? I try to stay positive but it's hard. Like another thing is Moon Guardian; the reason I haven't updated? because I have had someone bothering me about it. weekly I get asked about how I'm doing on it but it's not from a place of "want to read it" it's because I told them they couldn't post a certain thing until the chapter is done so it feels pressuring to constantly get asked because I feel the only reason they want to post is to boost their thing and I'm just the machine to boost it with my characters and comic.... like it feels they've taken the comic from me and it sucks because I have so many fun things planned. Like I accidentally went off on Nina about a thing with Alpine skyline and Eclipse as well as a thing with a Time Rift and a Jelly ghost.

Sorry kinda went off, just I've sat on this thought train since like early april. I've done my best to ignore it and just keep going but it's gotten really hard with the fact my health hasn't been really great. I've spent a lot of time lately bed bound because I just hurt so badly. if I'm not resting, I'm at my day job which is incredibly stressful rn as I only really work mornings and I see things that are being missed so then i report it and it still gets missed and i can't get it fixed after a point cuz we're back to full service and need the people so I can't nitpick but just.... I'm bitter okay like if I left this shit when I worked I would have gotten yelled at but now we just let it slide??? and this stresses me out which then causes my body to freak out because I'm stressed which puts me in more pain. and then like at work have people acting shocked I have my cane or soemthing and just skfdslkfksdf

so my energy is so tanked. and then the negative comment in my head, no idea if people like things cuz I have no idea if I hear nothing, just has had me doubting why post. Like I should go back to just not posting my stories and sketches or w/e and slink back to my hole like I was before.

idk Its just. a bad night in the house of bun. I've had these thoughts festering and I guess today was the dam breaking. It's probs cuz I'm nervous posting Chimeras because it's a very dark au.

[jaehyunsuh]

Paradise; Jaehyun // part 2

part 1

"I like your smile that's brighter than the stars

this place where we're dreaming the same dream is paradise

like the ones I drew when I was young,

I feel like tomorrow is gonna be filled with dreams and thrills"

series: songs for you🌃

REQUESTS ARE: OPEN

— pairing: jaehyun x reader

— genre: fluff/ romance/ boyfriend! Jaehyun/ fiance! Jaehyun/ husband! Jaehyun ??

— words count: 1.5k

summary: Jaehyun and you have been together for 3 years now, he is the best boyfriend you could ever ask for, he is kind, caring, sweet and always cares about you. Jaehyun has always been kind of closed when it comes to his feelings but he always ends opening up to you. He has been acting weird for the last couple of weeks and you have been overthinking about it for the last week. He hasn't been talking that much, he comes home, kisses you and the goes straight to bed. You wonder if the spark between the two of you is dying or is it just you being dramatic?

since you arrived to Jeju things have been better with Jae. He was really talkative on the plane telling you all the stories about what he did on set, about his recording with the members and how he felt, about how excited he was for his next schedule and all of that. You were glad that now he was sharing all of this stuff with you but you had that is slightly thought that he was doing this just as an attempt to repair your relationship. 

you arrived at the hotel and even slept together. In the last two days everything has been really cool  exploring the city and getting to know all the beautiful things you can see in here, but even thought of that you still upset and worried about what your Jaehyun's words they are keep playing in your head, repeating like a broken record you can stop thinking about the fact that he planned all of this trip just to fix your relationship.

even since you arrived he has been really expressive and you really appreciate that,  but on the other hand you haven't been really talkative lately. You just nod at his words smiling, and what hurts you the most is the fact that he doesn't try to ask you what is happening, he just keeps talking about his stuff without paying attention to your feelings. Jaehyun has known you for 5 years and has been in a relationship with you for 4 years now, you definitely know he is able to identify when you're feeling uncomfortable, sad, upset or angry about something, and that's all the things you're feeling right now and he hasn't even mention it once! it makes you worried that he really doesn't care about what is going on with you and is just doing this as some type of obligation to look like he didn't try to fix things between you two.

you haven't had a proper conversation since you're here so today is your Anthem to clarify your feelings to him and explaining how you have been feeling lately. 

you are now holding hands while walking by the beautiful flowers while staring at the sea. You can't deny Jaehyun has a fantastic taste for everything but you have to admit that this trip has been one of you favorite ones, he has all activities and places to visit organized in his mind making this whole trip magical, you hope after this conversation you can get to enjoy it more peacefully.

"Jae." 

"Yes babe?." He turns looking at you.

"I want to talk to to you about something." You look at your hand playing with them nervously. You were happy that you had the courage to finally express but you were nervous it didn't as planned, maybe ending up with Jaehyun saying that he doesn't feel like that anymore like that. You try to block you thoughts and only focus on the things you want to tell to him.

"Okay? Let's sit then." He laughs playfully and guides you to a bench, you sit and realize how the view still so beautiful from there, with no one around just the amazing landscape in front of you.

"Look, since a few weeks ago i have felt like you are acting weird. You didn't tell me anything anymore, we didn't spent time together and it was killing me honestly i felt like it was just me and that i did something that made you feel upset or something. But suddenly you show up with tickets for a vacation and say that we this to reconnect and the things haven't been the same." You feel how the tears start running down your cheeks and you try to clean them with your wrist while looking down.

"I don't know how you feel but all that i know is that I've always love you and I've never felt like something is messing. You have no idea how much sleep i haven't got at night rethinking about our relationship and what i would do without you. I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me and continue a relationship that you don't feel anymore but i only want you to be honest and not act like nothing happening." You can't stop you tears now, Jaehyun just looks at you listening carefully.

"Since we arrived you haven't ask me even once about how I'm feeling or why I'm not talking or why I'm not as talkative as always, and i know it is because you are trying to give a chance to this relationship and try to make me feel better with your attempt. Jae, you are the most important thing for me in the world and if you don't want to continue this i will totally understand." You breathe in and out calming you down so you can talk clearly.

"And i just want you to know that i love you so much and i'll support any decision you take." You finally look at him and he is looking at you quite worried and surprised. You still can't read his face so you wish he starts talking so you know how he is feeling.

"Y/n, you are the most amazing and fantastic person I've ever met, I'm thankful for having you in my life." He smiles wide.

"You have been the only person I've ever opened to in all aspects. You know afraid i was to fall in love, show myself and my whole vulnerability and insecurities, but as soon as i saw you, insisting me to overcome my fears and open up to you and giving me you sweet smile, every single thing disappeared and i felt so free, finally revealing you my true self." He holds your hands talking to you enthusiastic.

"I couldn't ask for someone better in my life. Look, I'm not dumb, i have notice all the details in your acts since a few days ago. The way you pouted upset everytime i came home, rolling on the bed all night because of how stressed you were, the sad look on your face when i told you that i planned this trip to make our relationship better again and even the way you just nodded and smiled at everything i said." He is talking with a wide a smile and you don't understand what is happening. You are shocked at how correct where all the things he was saying without you giving those details.

"And I'm sorry for the bottom of my heart but  the reason why i avoided you and act like nothing was wrong with you was because of this." He stands up, searching for something on his jacket, proceeding to kneel down on the floor.

"Y/n, you have made me the happiest man alive. You are my paradise, always drawing bright days and putting colors in me.The past 5 years with you have been amazing and I've never ever doubted about loving and falling in love with you even more everyday." He is now showing the biggest and brightest smile showing his dimples.

"Will you marry me?" He finally says opening up the little box that was resting on his hands now showing a beautiful ring with a diamond on it. You cover your mouth in surprise starting to cry even more than before.

"Yes, Jae, yes." 

he stands up and lifts you while hugging, then brings you back down grabbing your lower back and kissing your lips. The kiss was full of love, joy, relieve and peace. He starts to slide his tongue inside you playing with your, you get closer to him and place your arms around his neck intensifying the kiss and being able to feel him more. You bury you hands in his neck. You realize that you are at a touristic place and you don't want to become one of the attractions so you end the kiss.

"Jae, we are in a public place." You say laughing while he keeps giving tiny kisses on you lips. You cover his mouth making him stop. He pouts playfully and puts on fake sad face.

"We should go to our hotel then." He says grabbing your hand in a sign to follow him and winking at you leaving on more kiss on your lips. 

you we're so happy that you were going to marry Jaehyun, he has been the best boyfriend,  and now fiance, that you could ever ask for. You are so thankful for having someone like him in your life, that always stands up for you, listens to you and supports you in every situation.

the next days on the island were amazing, you you continued to explore, you saw the beautiful flowers,museums and even ride horses. Jaehyun even took you to a romantic dinner and after that you had a great time at the hotel. You were the same as always, cuddling all might, having endless makeout session, him waking you up with a kiss and all the other this that keep the essence of your relationship

you have never been more in love with him and you couldn't ask for someone better. You have to accept that he's the love of your life and you are his and now you will love each other forever.

[chickenisamazing]

The more I do this, the uglier it gets, but it's okay because I think I've mostly figured out how I want to journal and how to use the space in this notebook since I switched from my dot grid to these lined notebooks that I have lying around that I got for free and accumulated over the years. Because of the number of pages, I'm gonna have to use two notebooks this year, and this one is already smaller than last year's notebook, but the second notebook for this year is gonna be even smaller, so it's a process figuring out the right layout. I realize no one cares about this and it's long so the rest is under the cut [[MORE]]

Basically how I have my journal set up currently is:

I skipped the first few pages in case I decide I want an index (I probably won't)

I have my pre-planning spread which is a spacing guide on the left and a journal format brainstorm on the right

I have a future log/year at a glance that takes up four pages/two spreads where I drew out the little calendars for the year and a blank column under each month and whenever I have an event I put it in, so the events won't be in order but I don't care tbh

I have my monthly spread which I changed from last month: last month I had just the calendar on one spread and the next spread was monthly notes on one side and trackers on the right. However, because of the size of the notebook, that space wasn't being efficiently used. This is what it looked like

So I just decided to combine the two so now my monthly spread includes the trackers in the calendar and the notes next to the calendar, since I don't use the monthly notes much anyway. Idk if I like the habit tracker layout bc it's not as good visually but it's a lot easier to actually fill out since I just have to circle the letter instead of trying to figure out how to draw rectangles the right size and space on half a line in a ruled notebook so maybe I'll actually use it this month. Tbh the trackers are only important for prayers and I didn't use them last month but I used them pretty religiously ;) last year, and with the other stuff I generally write about them in my weekly logs if I did them but I thought I'd try including them in my trackers just to see if I could use them.

My weekly spreads are the same as last year's, I write my events with circular bullets and I jot down any brief notes about the day or things I did with dashed bullets. Only difference really is that last year I attempted to be colorful and decorative with my spreads (which didn't work bc I'm not a creative person lmao) so this year all my spreads are looking basically the exact same and I'm liking it this way. I like the simplicity of doing everything with just a black felt tip pen (and a white gel pen for when I mess up and have to scribble things out like in the first pic lol).

Just like last year, after each weekly log I have my weekly notes which, also like last year, are completely undecorated and just say "WEEKLY NOTES" at the top. I use this for to do lists mostly but also anything else I feel like writing; it's the "everything notebook" part of this journal.

I don't really plan to have any other kinds of spreads but that can change of course if I feel like it. Last year I would start them and not really use them (except for a couple of important ones but I'll just refer back to the old notebook for those) so I prefer just writing everything in the weekly notes section.

I feel like I do actual journaling here bc I just make personal posts about my thoughts and feelings all the time and all my productivity in my notebook and I just think it's funny bc I feel like most people prefer to do productivity stuff digitally and journaling analog but I'm the opposite, mostly bc I feel like my hands when I'm writing can't catch up to my brain and so writing becomes a chore. That's why I'm glad I started writing bullet points about my day in my weekly log, it's much more manageable and if there's anything I really want to remember I can just write it without worrying about capturing the moment and stressing about language. I know like my preference for analog productivity and digital journaling isn't unique obviously but I still do think it's kind of funny bc I'd have thought it'd be the opposite.

On an slightly unrelated note, I haven't been using google calendar much lately and I've been relying on my notebook but that's not good, I need to have things in both places to feel like I know what's going on. I think it's mostly because of the Bangladesh trip tbh but also since I graduated I feel like I've been falling off of using google calendar, but it's still what I use when I make appointments esp when I'm out and about, so I need to use it more regularly so I don't miss out on stuff.

[mssucb]

so i don't mean to pester, but i've been meaning to ask what the timeframe is for submissions getting drawn is? i had a drawing submitted over a month ago and i'm unsure if it got lost for whatever reason or if you simply haven't gotten to it yet, which i understand -- the only other concern being is that i also haven't seen a guest drawing of it. am i able to check if it's in the archive? again, i hope i'm not coming off as impatient -- just wondering if it's there!

CUBESONA: go to https://mscollab.tumblr.com/ to see if a guest artist drew your submission. 

If you did everything right, then I guarantee you that your submission has not been ignored and is in the archive. Just please keep in mind, we have over 700 submissions to go through, and we’re just 3 guys who do this blog for fun when we have free time. As for mscollab, you gotta take into account redesign overlap, with people redesigning the same doodles. We’re all trying to go through the submissions at our own pace, so I’m sorry if we haven’t gotten to your submission yet.

this answer got a /tiny/ bit long/redundant, so read the rest under the cut.

I really apologize for the lack of succubi lately, but me, Oolong, and Digi just haven’t been free lately. Digi has a new job, I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress lately, and Oolong’s been having a WILD adventure of his own, believe me. We all do commissions as well (I’ll speak for myself and say commissions is my /only/ form of income), and we can’t prioritize MSuccb over artwork that was paid for.

it really sucks to say this, but there’s a possibility the update schedule on this blog may be infrequent for the future, and your doodle may never get redesigned, due to the sheer number of submissions we get.

That being said, me and Oolong and Digi all have a TON of succubus sketches that we’re sitting on, that we just haven’t had the time to finish up. We also have tons of ideas for how to tackle submissions we haven’t sketched yet. When we do have the opportunity to work on this blog, we’ll have a LOT of stuff for you.

We just ask that you guys understand why we haven’t drawn much for the blog lately, and try to be patient. We’re grateful for how much support this blog’s gotten, but please remember that we’re just 3 artists who have bills to pay, mouths to feed, food to put on the table, and responsibilities we have to get to first.

Agh, I know I’ve probably said all this before, but I really have been feeling guilty for not drawing succubi for you all. I really hope you understand us.