#i've been rocking back and forth with it since .

[sequinsmile-x]

Weary

Guilt rolls in his gut when he gets the door open and he is met with the sight of his frazzled wife, her hair in a haphazard bun on top of her head, dressed in the clothes he’s fairly sure she was wearing three days ago with milk stains on the shoulder of a shirt that used to be his.

AKA - the one where Aaron comes home from a case to find his wife and their newborn baby girl worn out from a lack of sleep.

-x-

Hi besties,

I am exhausted after being back at work for the first time since my surgery. I've only been working in the mornings but I am worn out...I'm not entirely sure my brain was even switched on when I wrote this. I just opened my laptop, opened a Google Doc and started to type.

I really hope you enjoy this. It's just some soft hotchniss (softniss hehe) that I think we all deserve <3

As always, let me know what you think!

-x-

Warnings: None

Words: 2.2k

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Aaron hears Alice crying through the front door, the baby’s wails piercing through the thick solid wood as if it were made of nothing more than plasterboard. The guilt he’d been battling the last few days, which had simmered low in his gut whenever he thought about his wife at home alone with their newborn and Jack, comes back with a vengeance. A spark of it catching fire in his veins as he digs through his pockets to find his keys, desperate to get into the house and help in a way he hadn’t been able to do from two states away. 

He’d hesitated in the first place, not sure he wanted to leave Emily and the kids at home only a month after Alice had been born, but Strauss had given him no choice. He had taken the first two weeks of his daughter’s life off of work, and had allowed himself to sink into the happy, exhausting, bubble he and Emily’s home had turned into. Going back to work at all had been hard, his heart in a vice as he walked out of the house for the first time for longer than simply going to the store to get milk or bread, but going away on his first case three days ago had been harder. He’d called every night, smiled at every picture Emily sent him of the kids together, and missed them all more than he could put into words. 

The guilt rolls in his gut when he gets the door open and he is met with the sight of his frazzled wife, her hair in a haphazard bun on top of her head, dressed in the clothes he’s fairly sure she was wearing three days ago with milk stains on the shoulder of a shirt that used to be his. She has Alice in her arms, her body tense as she tries to soothe the newborn, her posture getting visibly tighter with their daughter’s continued cries. Emily had sounded tired whenever they spoke. A croak to her voice that had once meant hangovers and late nights with the girls, her head in his lap as she lamented that last shot of tequila as he offered to go buy fast food for her, or the end of a long case when they’d slink into bed together, her face pressed against his neck, already half asleep before he tugged the covers over them. 

He wonders if she’s slept at all whilst he’s been gone, if he should have pushed more whenever she insisted she was fine, but he couldn’t change that now. All he could do was help her, to look after both of his girls in whatever way they needed him. 

“Hi sweetheart,” he says, smiling as he steps towards her, his heart aching when she looks at him with tired eyes, never stopping the way she’s rocking side to side in an attempt to soothe Alice. One hand on the tiny baby’s back and the other cupping her head, her thumb tracing back and forth over her temple in a way they’d learnt calmed her down when she was just hours old. 

“Hi,” she chokes out, her eyes shining as her voice cracks. She’s as on edge as he’s ever known her to be, barely holding herself together, and he drops his go-bag to the floor, all of his focus on her, “You’re home.” 

She sounds so relieved it breaks his heart, makes the pieces she’d put back together herself facture, guilt and regret slipping into the gaps as he wonders why he didn’t just tell Strauss no when she told him he needed to return to full duties. 

He shakes it off, pushes away however he’s feeling right now because whatever she’s feeling is infinitely more important. Her usual emotional control was long gone, left somewhere in her first trimester when she started to cry at anything. It frustrated her to no end, made her angry at herself whenever she’d get emotional over something she deemed ridiculous, and he knew he had to tread carefully. 

He didn’t want to upset her any more than she already was. 

“Yeah,” he says, stepping towards them, “I’m home,” he leans in and kisses her forehead and then kisses the top of Alice’s head, catching Emily’s thumb at the same time. He places his hand on Emily’s back and rubs a circle on it. He feels more than hears her sharp intake of breath and he knows he’s only seconds away from both of them being in tears, “Do you want me to take her, sweetheart?” 

She sucks in a breath and then blows it out, her cheeks puffing with it as she looks up at the ceiling, a failed attempt to stop tears pushing past her lashline, “I’ve been trying to get her down for hours,” she says, her lips pressed together as her chin trembles, “It’s been like this since you left. She won’t sleep. Jess came to get Jack a few hours ago, he’s sleeping over at hers tonight so at least he can get some sleep,” she sucks in a breath again and it catches on her ribs, the ache of it something that rattles in her chest, “I’m so tired, Aaron.” 

He kisses her forehead again, “Let me take her, okay?” He says gently, still rubbing circles on Emily’s back as she finally stops swaying side to side. She nods, too tired to fight him on the request, to insist that she could do it because she wasn’t sure she could. She kisses Alice’s head, whispering an apology against her dark hair before she hands her over, “She’ll be due a feed soon, right?” 

She nods, her arms tight across her chest, her arms aching both from now being empty and from what felt like holding Alice nonstop for days, “Yeah. I kept trying to nurse her to see if that was why she wouldn’t settle but she just wouldn’t latch.” 

“Is there milk in the fridge?” He asks, shifting from side to side like she had been, and Emily wraps her arms around herself even tighter when it works almost immediately, Alice’s cries quietening down to a whimper as if all she’d wanted all along was her father. 

“Some. I pumped this morning,” she answers and he looks up at her, his smile so kind and soft she almost bursts into tears. She struggles to suck in a breath, her lungs stuffed full of sadness and every bad thing she’d been thinking about herself the last few days, “Haven’t really had a chance since.” 

“Why don’t you go and have some time to yourself?” He suggests, “I’ll try and settle Little Miss Hotchner.” 

She wants to argue again but can’t, all of her energy focused on holding herself together, on the way Alice was practically silent now, her fist in her mouth as she self soothes for the first time in hours. 

“I…I might go shower,” she says, pointing over her shoulder to the stairs, “I don’t remember the last time I did.” 

Aaron nods, “I’ll meet you up there, okay?”

“Okay,” she replies, looking at them once more, her gaze lingering before she turns around and disappears up the stairs, the drag of her tired feet against the floor echoing throughout the hallway. 

He sighs when he can no longer see her, and he looks down at Alice, her dark wide eyes meeting his, “You really put Mommy through it the last few days, huh?” He says, kissing the top of her head as he heads to the kitchen, “We’re going to make sure you have something to eat and then get some sleep,” he kisses her again, “And then I’ll make sure Mommy does the same.” 

___

He settles Alice into her bassinet with the same level of care and anxiety he’d have if moving an active bomb. He holds his breath as he lays her down, sighing happily when she stays asleep. He steps away, making sure he grabs the baby monitor as he goes even though he knows he won’t be far enough away to truly need it. He pauses when he makes it to the door of the ensuite and knocks before he walks in. 

He hadn’t heard running water at any point even though he knew Emily was in there, so he half expects to find her sat on the floor, asleep and propped up against the wall. Instead, he finds her sitting on the closed toilet seat, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, her sigh audible as he gently closes the door behind him. 

“Is she asleep?” 

He nods, even though she doesn’t look up, and then kneels in front of her, ignoring the crack in his knees as they hit the tiled floor, “She’s asleep,” he says, reaching for her hand and linking their fingers together, running his finger back and forth over the pulse point on her wrist, “I thought you were going to shower.” 

She laughs humourlessly, “I was going to but…I don’t have the energy. The thought of washing my hair made me cry…” She shakes her head at herself, wiping a stray tear from her cheek, “So I sat down for a minute and lost track of time I guess.” She sniffs and shakes her head, her lips pressed together as she tries and fails to hold back a sob, “I don’t think I’m any good at this.” 

He squeezes her hand, “You don’t think you’re any good at what, sweetheart?” 

“Being her mom.”

He barely has time to register what she’s said, the insecurity he’d seen thrumming beneath her skin since he’d got home lingering in the air between them, because she bursts into tears. A sob catching in her throat as she leans forward into the embrace she knows he’ll have waiting. He wraps his arms around her, holding her close as he rubs his hand up and down her arm. 

“You’re an amazing mom,” he says, kissing her temple, “Alice and Jack are both so lucky to have you.” 

She scoffs and shakes her head as she pulls back to look at him, “I can’t even get my baby to sleep,” she furiously wipes tears from her cheeks, “I tried for hours and she just settled immediately for you.” 

“Sweetheart,” he says, cupping her cheek to encourage her to look at him, “You’re exhausted. She was too. And you were both overwhelmed and making each other more unsettled. It happens and it doesn’t make you anything less than an incredible mom,” he rests his forehead against hers, “Alice loves you. So much,” he smiles as he squeezes her hand, “We all do.” 

She blows out a stuttering breath, not entirely sure if she believes him, and she shakes her head, “I’m just…I’m so tired Aaron.” 

“I know you are,” he says, kissing her before he stands up, “Which is why I’m going to help you shower, hair washing entirely optional,” he smiles when she does, her lips pressed together as she tries to capture it, “Then whilst you get ready for bed, I’ll go downstairs and get you something to eat,” he wipes a stray tear from her cheek, “And then after you’ve eaten you can sleep. I’ll keep an eye on Alice until she next needs to be fed,” he tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, “That’s when you’ll have to step in I’m afraid. I used the last of the milk in the fridge earlier, and I lack the equipment to feed her myself.” 

Emily chuckles dryly and reaches out for him, stroking her thumb over his jawline as she cups his face, “What did I do to deserve you?” She says, her lips shaking as she desperately tries to stop crying, “I didn’t even ask how you are, or how the case was. You just walked straight into chaos.” 

He smiles and kisses her forehead before he stands, “The most beautiful kind of chaos,” he says, offering her his hand to help her up, “The real question is, what did I do to deserve you?” 

She rolls her eyes at him, the tightness in her chest easing for the first time in days, “Why don’t we just agree that we’re both lucky to have each other?”  

He stamps his lips against hers, “I can agree to that,” he says, “Now,” he says, “Hair wash, or no hair wash?” 

She scrunches her nose up, “No hair wash tonight,” she yawns, too tired to even try to hide it as she nods towards the shower, “I’m worried I’ll fall asleep in there even with your help,” she smiles at him, “So, just a shower tonight. Maybe you could help me wash my hair tomorrow though?” 

He kisses her, his smile pressed against hers, and then he pulls back, taking a moment to revel in her beauty. Stained t-shirt and tired eyes and all. “Tomorrow it is.”

[wuahae]

juyeon + the mansion at the top of the hill + 11:43pm (But does the time really matter… ill let you decide .) - ari

[23:43] / the mansion at the top of the hill

-

the moon hangs low tonight, the silver light weaving between the trees as it casts a gentle glow through the mansion windows. the cold from outside almost penetrates into the mansion itself, moonlight providing no warmth on a pitiless autumn night—almost.

a single lit lamp held in your hands, your slippers shuffle across the carpet as you make your way down the empty corridor. the wick burns steady, flame flickering as it reflects off the pool of oil swaying about with each step. it was a common occurrence, this sort of thing. at this hour, all the servants had already gone to bed, tired after a long day of work and ready to reset for the next, which meant it was only you roaming these halls. quiet, lingering, waiting.

your bedroom at the end of the corridor is an unassuming sight. a single door leading into the room, the inside is almost just as simple—a vanity placed in the corner, and a small desk placed alongside the wall, and a large bed sitting in the middle of the room. shutting the door quietly,  you place the lamp by the bedside and watch silently as the only source of light casts long shadows throughout the room. the owl hoots, the wind whistles through the rustling of leaves, a branch knocks against the glass.

a part of you still feels it, even with so many years distancing that night from your present. there's still a weight on the other end of the mattress sinking in beside you, the faint phantom of a touch hovering over your skin, a shiver running along your spine as you breathe in a shaky breath and feel yourself shudder on its way out—

"juyeon," you call, soft, and even the wind outside falls to a hush.

if you looked in the vanity mirror, you know you would see his reflection staring at you from behind, so familiar he would be almost solid enough to touch. but you know if you chased that rabbit trail, if you let him lead you to where he wanted you to go, if you turned to face him head on, he would disappear without a trace.

(the flame on the candle flickers; only one shadow remains.)

"i'm sorry," you start, and somehow, it feel like that's all you've been doing, recently. apologizing, and then repeating the same mistakes over and over again. "i took a long time to return, didn't i? i didn't mean to, there was just a lot to handle at the estate today." fiddling around with the trinkets on the vanity, the perfume bottles clink together as you rearrange them, crystal glass cool against your fingertips. "it's an important day tomorrow, after all."

you glance up, and the ghost meets your eyes with a reprimanding look.

"don't look at me like that," you retort, head instinctively trying to snap back before you stiffen and stop yourself midway. you swallow hard. "you know it's not that simple."

it is, juyeon counters silently. you know better than anyone how simple this really is. he doesn't say anything though, he never does.

(look at me. look at me. look at me.)

if he really wanted you to truly let him go, then he'd find a way to make it happen—he always did. you like to imagine you're not the only one complicit in this, that some part of him still wants to remain by your side too.

the clock on the wall ticks, the minute and hour hand aligning perfectly at the top. juyeon's silhouette flickers, like a ripple in the water. it's been officially one year since he's died, and you're still trying to hold on and pretend that you can still touch him.

sometimes, you wonder if it's even him anymore, or if it's just the memory of him you've latched onto. but you've decided it doesn't really matter, in the end. some version of him, however dead it may be, was better than being without him at all.

"good night, juyeon," you whisper. the disappointment in his gaze forces you to avert your eyes tonight, too. just like every night beforehand. the first time it happens, it's a mistake; everything that happens afterwards is a choice, and even with the guilt viscous enough to suffocate, you can't really find it in yourself to care anymore.

("i think i died with you," you'd told him, one night. you've been trying to make true of that every night since.)

there are two ghosts haunting this mansion—you've made sure of it. if you look close enough in the mirror, you can see the faint outline of your figure rotting alongside him. this is the burden you've chosen to carry, the hole you've dug for your own burial.

the candle is blown out with a single whoosh.

[lrdvyke]

a desperate kiss as if they are convinced they’ll slip through each other’s fingers ( you know who )

Something in him speaks of a dream. Warns him. A dream in which he has not woken up from. A dream that if he did and did so soon, he would find himself below the earth once more with only a circular hole in the sky for dim light set within a snowdrift. Dark shadows would have prevailed, bringing its horrors of hindsight with them. A small space with no room to walk, nor stretch, nor run; only leaving once someone so foolishly opens the sky to let him out. Their blood upon his shaking hands, dripping from a sullied spear, staining his melted helm. Their ambitions put to rest, fools just like he. It is all but a dream that is a nightmare returned. A nightmare in which he scrambles away from desperately, even within his waking thoughts.

Thus when he sees D. Truly sees him. No gold and silver armor, no helmet with its impassive face, just him, Vyke surges forth. He knows he should have asked. He knows he should have kept it a question, to not think of it as anything more than just a pleasant dream he may yet wake from soon. But he does not want this to fall through his trembling fingers, fearing to look over his shoulder lest he see the cold stone wall of the evergoal ( or worse ). He does not want this to become all but naught in his desperate, frenzied mind. Nothing can ever be real for it, but just this once, can it not be this?

His fingers may have clutched Darian too hard in pulling him close. His kiss may have been too rough as his mouth covers the other's, opening and melding, leaving nothing to be questioned of just how he feels. Breathing through his nose, shivering at the familiar taste of a friend he has held within his heart for decades. If this were a dream as his mind desires him to think it as, would he be able to feel this, to feel Darian's lips against his own, curving and opening just for him? Is this not proof enough, as his fingers tense upon the flesh worn by years, almost unblemished due to the coverings of his mask? Let it be enough. Let it, then he will say nothing more upon the topic, quelling a rabid mind in its wake because of this kiss.

Perhaps even still, in a dream the kiss would have continued on without break nor issue. That is what a fevered mind would desire, would it not? Instead, Vyke feels a push against him and he relents. Darian draws back, concern upon his features, and Vyke looks at him in question. Within the small haze, he does not realize. Not yet. It is only when it does, an eye grows wide as another horror grasps him then. It is not a kiss he should be worried for. Madness transfers oh so easily by design, with something as simple as an ingestion or even a look. Vyke should have known. The empty eye socket and the plucked eye that still weighs heavily within the dirty, cloth bag he left it in, its purpose to be eaten, to grow inside another to hold onto the flame, tells him that much.

Vyke panics, it is hard not to when emotions are far more difficult to regulate now. ❛ I'm sorry—I should have known. ❜ Would it be worse than an eye? He does not wish to find out, thus he scrambles back, grabbing for the second bag upon his discarded sword belt. ❛ I wasn't thinking straight. I just thought—I just thought ... ❜ His trembling fingers pluck a clarifying bolus from the depths of the bag. The dusted, yellow ball holds firm within his grip as he presses it towards the other in his urgency. ❛ I will not do that again, now that I know. ❜ But the anger of knowing, the grief of it, the embarrassment, to the very guilt, Vyke knows not what to feel first, but it all rises within him. He swallows thickly. ❛ I'm sorry, Darian. ❜

@luredeep !

[tojigasm]

I've Got a Thing About You, Baby

Warnings: kissing, pet names, Logan shotguns the reader, cigars, smoking, fluff, domestic logan

It's late one night in the summer that it happens; when the air's still warm under the moonlight and the crickets hum against the breeze.

You've been watching him for the past hour or so. The trickling of smoke dancing into strange shapes and pretty lines through the screen door of the mansion, leading out to the back porch.

It's far past your bedtime, and the rest of the students and professors have long since retired to their own bedrooms.

Except for you, that is. A part of you too exhausted to actually sleep and the other too anxious to.

If you listen closely, you're able to hear the bird fountain from the garden.

You can hear the rocking chair sway back and forth against the chipped wood of the porch.

A weird feeling passes over you. It feels like the heat of the sun on a spring day, and it settles into your stomach warmly.

That feeling reminds you of home often.

You can't tell if Logan knows you're awake – scribbling away at your notes for the day and sipping Coca-Cola from the bottle through a straw. If he does, he doesn't make it known.

It's only when you make your way towards the back door, bare feet padding against the cool wood floors that you know he knows.

You wait by the door for a moment, gripping the neck of your Coca-Cola bottle as you watch him take a drag of his cigar.

You've always thought he was beautiful. The dark tufts of his hair and hazel eyes, paired with the brute strength he bears, was Renaissance-like.

You briefly wonder if he'd been alive that long.

"Y'gonna come out here or just keep staring at me like a freak?" Logan's voice breaks you from your spell and has you pushing past the screen door instantly.

You sit down in the rocking chair across from him, pulling both of your knees to your chest and your Coca-Cola to your side.

Your eyes follow him as he takes another drag of the cigar, thick brows relaxed as he exhales a pillow of white smoke and sinks into the chair.

"Why aren't you in bed?" You ask, thumbing the ends of your pajama bottoms

Logan snorts at the parroted sterness in your voice. You had to've picked that up from Jean, he thinks to himself.

"Why aren't you in bed?" He hums with a slight shake of his head, tapping his fingers holding the cigar against the armrest of the chair.

"Couldn't sleep."

"Hm," He picks at the fabric of his jeans momentarily, "is that why you were hiding behind the screen door thinkin' I couldn't see you?"

"I wasn't hiding!" You nearly jump from your seat, almost cringing at the hightened squeal of your voice.

"Right." He smirks from behind the cigar, voice laced with sarcasm as he takes another drag.

You watch him for a moment. Your skin warm from the summer air, a shiver runs up your spine.

There's something oddly paternal in his demeanor; legs spread as he rocks himself back and forth in the chair, flicking his lighter shut and throwing it back into his jean pocket.

Logan looks up momentarily, meeting your gaze through his brows, and just as quickly as he's turned away to blow smoke out into the hot air.

"Never smoked before." You comment, crossing your arms over the fronts of your legs.

Logan hums, "Good. Bad habit."

"Can I try some?"

Logan hesitates. Eyes meeting yours sternly.

"Aren't you a bit young to be trying to get people to pass off drugs to you?" You can hear the smirk in his voice before it's visible on his features.

You roll your eyes and place your Coca-Cola bottle onto the floor beside you.

"Never been one to try and get people to start bad habits." Logan adds, picking at his nail absentmindedly. "Seems to happen around me anyways."

You don't say anything to that. The pads of your fingers still folding and twisting the fabric of your pajamas.

An owl hoots from somewhere across the garden, and the crickets sing in the breeze again.

Logan turns his head towards you and folds his free hand behind his head, taking another drag of the cigar before turning it towards you.

You feel stuck. Suddenly, very aware of where you are and who you're with and the uncomfortably humbling fact that you have no idea how to actually smoke.

You hadn't realized you'd only been staring at his hand until Logan's voice peeks through your mental fog.

"C'mere, baby."

There's something domestically paternal in the deep of his tone that nearly makes your knees buckle as you shyly make your way over to him.

He makes room for you in his lap, guiding you to sit on one of his thighs.

"Y'never smoked before?" He reaffirms, resting a large hand over both of your thighs.

You shake your head.

The sound of his lighter makes you turn before Logan pulls you back towards him, lighting the end of the cigar again.

"I'll hold it fr'you. Just take a deep exhale like you're breathin', easy peasy."

You nod, watching the tobacco simmer at the end of the cigar, illuminating Logan's hand in an orangish red hue.

There's a moment of quiet where you're lost in thought, memorizing the preparedness of it. You turn towards Logan at the silence to see him watching you already, a thick brow arched.

"You gettin' shy on me?"

Immediately, you fluster at that, shaking your head with a "uh, uh." Before leaning down to wrap your lips around the end of the cigar.

Logan meets your eyes with a warm smile, "uh uh," He chides, voice pitched in mimic.

You giggle lightly before inhaling from the cigar.

It's warm against the back of your throat; a burning stroke that has you pulling away, coughing instantly. Your mouth feels dry and cotton-like as drool fills your mouth in an attempt to relax the forgein feeling.

"Woah," Logan chuckles loosely at you, stroking his hand up and down your back. "Y'okay?"

You give a weak thumbs up, smiling wobbly before bursting into a fit of coughs again.

Logan reaches for your coca-cola bottle mid giggle, bringing the straw up to your lips.

"Here, drink this. Yeah, there y'go."

The drink cools your throat, soothing the dry attack on your lungs as you gasp for clean breaths of air again.

Logan keeps his hand on your back, letting you relax into it.

"Y'okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, I didn't realize that it'd be that aggressive." Your voice still scratchy.

"I probably should've told you not to take such a deep breath," He strokes his hand over the curve of your jaw. "Sorry 'bout that, kid."

You wave him off, "it's okay."

Logan takes a drag of the cigar, thumbing it between his forefinger and middle.

"That is a bit strong, huh."

You nod.

"Here, I might have a better way to do it."

You watch as he tilts his head upwards, holding the cigar to his plush lips as he takes another inhale.

The glow of the auburn porch light creates a halo around his hair tufts and makes an outline of his sharp nose.

He blows smoke through his nose, hardly acknowledging it.

You're entranced with how easy he makes it seem, as though he's been throwing back cigars for the majority of his existence, and for all you know, he has.

Your betwitchment must be obvious on your face by the way Logan peers down slyly at you midst another drag.

He motions for you to come closer to him, curving his hand to hold your jaw steady.

Parting his lips some, a small whisp of smoke trails from his mouth as he softly says, "Open."

You can smell the burning tobacco, and it settles a warmth into you.

You part your lips, jolting slightly in his hold as he exhales the cloud of smoke into your mouth with a cocky smile.

The smoke is much easier to take this way – already diluted by whatever super regenerative powers he holds.

Logan brings you closer to meet you in a kiss, dragging his tongue over your lips and past your teeth to stroke the insides of your cheeks.

You're completely at his mercy, shivering and whimpering in his hand.

The plush of his lips has you grabbing at his forearm and gasping against him. You can feel him smile into the kiss with a hum.

He pulls off of you with a 'pop' before relasing his hand from your jaw with a smile.

"That better?"

You reduced to just stare at him.

"Maybe I need it one more time." You say under your breath, and you're almost afraid he doesn't catch it.

"Yeah? One more?" He asks, moving to hold your chin again.

"Mhm," you nod.

[peachesofteal]

Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader - warnings: discussion of past abuse, Simon’s trauma Request: take your baby to work day

You're wide eyed at the front door.

"You sure you guys will be alright?" Your voice is clear, but your hand trembles on the door handle, bottom lip tugged across your teeth.

"We'll be okay sweetheart. But if you're uncomfortable, or it's too much, you should take him-"

"No, no. I'm fine. You're not supposed to bring the baby to OB appointments anyway. It's frowned upon." You roll your eyes, tipping up to kiss Ry on the cheek. "Just... don't let anyone breathe on him, or kiss him, okay? His immune system is still fragile compared to ours. I packed you like, three bottles so hopefully he'll take them if he gets hungry. Text me if-"

"Mama." He holds Orion in one arm, and grabs your hand with the other. You're frightened, and stressed, and he's driven to comfort you, the need to soothe you throbbing across his skull. "I've got this. We'll be just fine. Text me when you're done. Get yourself a tea or something afterwards, alright? Everything is going to be okay." You nod.

"Right, of course. You're... you're right. And you're going to a military base, I doubt there's a safer place around."

"C'mere." He tugs you into his side, and you wrap your arms around his stomach, nestling in opposite Orion. "I need you to do something f'me."

"What?"

"I need you to swear to me you'll tell your doctor about the dizzy spells." There's been a reminder card about your twelve week postpartum appointment on the fridge for two weeks now, and after you finally confessed you have been getting dizzy since Orion was born, and one time had even fallen, he decided to skip several steps by making the appointment for you. You were... not pleased, but he made it very clear, he's not playing a game with your health. He's planning his battles strategically now, putting pieces in play slowly, working towards his larger goal, but this was something he refused to compromise on.

"Okay." You whisper, burying your face in his chest. "I will." He lands a kiss to the top of your head.

"We'll see you soon. It'll be over before you know it, and maybe we can get a takeaway for dinner?" Your lips crack into a toothy smile.

"Sounds good to me."

"Alright, lad. Let's go see daddy's team." Orion stares at him, brown eyes curious, and watchful. He’s still not used to it, this feeling. This life, with you and his baby. Everyday, he has to stop to ground himself, anchor himself. Break from the cycle of a downward spiral, obsessive thoughts playing with his mind, counting down the million and one ways he could lose you, or fail you, or both. He’s careful, he’s diligent, he’s in control. He’d never make a mistake like he did before, the error of judgement that cost him his mother, his brother and his family-

But the incessant fear never ceases.

Fortunately, his anchor now is you. You, when you let him carry you to bed, when you watch him rock Orion to sleep as you stand in the doorway, you who curls up next to him on the couch now, fingers curled into his shirt like you’re afraid he might disappear. Your touch heals. Your words comfort. He can't fathom a future without you, or Ry, now.

If he thinks back on it, he wonders if he knew all along. If all the things he felt the night he met really meant forever, just like he had wished. A fantasy turned reality-

to have and to hold.

His stomach turns, wondering if his father ever felt this, if he ever loved, or if he was always just a monster, the ouroboros of victim turned abuser, the man who terrorized his mother, his brother and himself, long past the time Simon finally tore him to pieces, cracked his ribs, beat him into the ground.

Tommy broke the cycle, and from the moment he laid eyes on his son he knew.... he would too.

Price's secretary looks like she's seen an actual ghost. "Hey, Lindsey. Is he in?" She's staring, flicking back and forth to Orion and then up to his face, mouth slightly agape.

"Y-yeah he's..." she points over her shoulder at his closed door. "Lieutenant, did you... is that... is that your baby?" He nods, mouth curving into a proud smile, stepping close enough so she can get a good look at him. She almost jerks back, clearly not used to being so close to him. He's been here and there, off and on base all week catching up on a backlog of reports, but hasn't said a word to anyone, and he keeps everyone on base at arm's length except the 141.

"It is." Her shocked expression melts, hesitantly reaching her pointer finger towards Ry, allowing him to wrap it up in his chubby little fist. "This is Orion." She smiles at him, and then the baby, kindly.

"He's beautiful." She excuses herself when the phone rings, and he settles the tension burning between his shoulder blades. He didn't mentally prepare for this moment, didn't believe he had to. The expectation of Price's acceptance was assumed but now, his trepidation is a surprise.

He told his captain he needed to take leave for something really important, but never said for what. All he told him is that he'd loop him in soon, and that he was sorry he wouldn't be available for the next op. If John was curious, he didn't let him know, didn't push him for more info, didn't pester him. He just sent the forms to Simon's email to be filled out with a postscript:

Looking forward to hearing what this is all about.

And when Simon crosses the threshold of his office, baby in one arm, backpack stuffed with nappies and bottles in the other-

John Price laughs.

It's not the huff of a chuckle that Kate usually gets out of him, or the rolling guffaw that he gives the guys sometimes when he's particularly amused.

No, this is different. It starts in his belly and then rolls upwards, all the way until his shoulders are shaking and he's wiping his eyes.

Simon scowls, and John holds both his hands up, palms out. Surrender. "This is a good enough reason as any to take a chunk of all that leave saved up." He stands, stepping around to get a closer look. "What's his name then?"

"Orion." John nods thoughtfully. The backs of his fingers brush along the baby's arm, gently, slowly, a flicker of longing, of sadness, arcing across his face before it dissipates.

"The giant hunter Zeus banished to the skies." Organized stacks of paper sit in neat little piles on top of John's desk, authorizations he'd know anywhere. They're moving out. "Where's his mum?"

"At a doctor's appointment." Orion gurgles, and Simon pats his back, bouncing him slowly from side to side.

"You with her?" The answer is immediate.

"Gonna marry her." John's eyes fill with mirth.

"But she doesn't know that yet, does she."

"No," Simon sighs, "but she will. 'ts why I needed the leave. Besides," he motions to the infant tucked in his arm, "this, helping take care of him, taking care of her, I need to get them moved to a secure location. She's in a second level flat right now, with street facing windows. It's makin' my skin itch." Price will get it, Simon knows he will understand. He has his own secret at home, tucked away in a house only Simon and Laswell know about, just in case.

"Take it slow, don't want to spook her. Although I can't imagine she's too skittish if she took you to bed." He smirks. "You've got the time you requested. Had to call in a substitute for this one, but we'll need you on the next."

"How long?"

"Five weeks, maybe more. I'll ring when we're back on base." Five weeks. The clock is ticking, a bomb waiting to detonate, a guillotine waiting to sever his time with his family, his duty dragging him away.

"Alright." He concedes. Cross that bridge when he comes to it.

If Price sees his reluctance, he doesn't comment on it. "Bird'll be here in six hours. Boys are in the rec room, if you want to see 'em." Simon nods, shifting the baby in his arms as he heads towards the door. "And Simon," he turns, locking eyes with his captain, raw emotion plain on both their faces. Price gives him a genuine smile. "Congratulations. You're going to be a great father."

There's a lump in his throat as he crosses the campus to the rec room, his nose dipping across Ry's head, breathing him in as deep as he can behind the black cloth mask. "He's gonna be your godfather, little man. We just have to get Mama to agree, don't we?" He tugs the building's door open, ignoring the streams of chatter suddenly grinding to a halt in the hallway. Once he makes it to the rec room and sees that no one else is inside, just Johnny and Gaz battling it out in an intense game of pool, he slips the mask off his face and locks the door.

Soap is the first one to see him. "Steeeamin' jesus, LT is that a bairn!?" Kyle chokes on his water.

"Is that your baby, Riley?" They both scramble forward, Johnny whistling in disbelief.

"Aye, he's got to be. Look at the size of 'im."

"Johnny." Simon gives him the 'settle down' look, but the Sergeant only grins impishly.

"He's hers, innit he?" Gaz reaches, and Orion watches him with interest. "The girl from the bar. The one who lives close to me." Johnny's eyes go wider than globes.

"Ach Ghost, ye been busy wit' that boa-"

"Johnny." He hisses, and Kyle barks a laugh, reaching. Simon doesn't balk about handing Orion over, even though you were cautious about letting other people be around him. This is his team. He trusts them implicitly.

"He's a heavy lad, isn't he?" Kyle bounces him back and forth, all the while Ry stares at him with his head tipped back, mesmerized. "Looks jus' like you."

"Maybe a wee bit more handsome." Johnny's leaning around Kyle, his hand on Ry's back. They're mooning over him, two decorated, strategically brilliant sergeants, cooing at a baby like a bunch of sooks, as Johnny would say.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, a text from you letting him know you're finished, and heading home.

>Has he eaten?

>No, hasn't seem interested.

>Thank god.

Knowing you're probably in pain makes him antsy to get back, and he glances at the guys. "You movin' out in a few hours?"

"Aye, lookin' for some sort of stolen intelligence. Shouldnae be too long. Got a rent-a-Lieutenant and everythin'. Ye'll be back for the next?"

"I will. Stay frosty out there. I expect you all back in one piece."

He triple checks the carseat, testing the straps and the strength of the seatbelt before finally deciding it's secure enough, for the hundredth time today. He takes one last look, and presses a kiss to Orion's head. "Ready, bub? Let's go home and see mama."

[ghouldump]

hi your fics are so amazing!!

if you’re open to requests, i was wondering if you could write a lestat x louis x reader fic that takes place during their huge fight in the townhouse? i can imagine the reader being a mother figure to claudia and trying to protect her during it and getting hurt in the process of trying to break up louis and lestat. i’d love to see how the reader deals with the aftermath of her and louis’ injuries as well as claudia taking care of the two of them.

sorry if its confusing😭 i thought of this while rewatching s1

For The Love Of A Daughter | Lestat x Reader x Louis

ෆ out of fear, lestat does the unimaginable and has to try his hardest to win his family's trust back, but it may be too late

the comparison of s1 vs s2 of this scene had me on the edge of my seat 🥺 ⚠️ THIS IS S1 E5 ‼️

How did your once beautiful family go to ruins? When Claudia was created? When she rebelled? Or when she left? Your daughter, you would go to hell and back for her, yet, you couldn't convince her to stay.

Lestat was cruelly strict with her, invading her privacy by reading her diaries, not considering the fact that she was trapped in the early stages of puberty for an eternity. She couldn't help that she was a young girl stuck in this body, and he never let her forget or made it easier on her.

Louis, he'd always been passive, about your companionship, as well as his role as a parent. He wanted to keep the peace and harmony. If that meant allowing Lestat to discipline her, then he’d turn his head to not have to watch out of guilt.

Then you, Lestat often complained that you spoiled her too much. You never raised a finger to her, nor your voice. You hadn't been brought up that way, and so you did the same with her. You still remember the night she left. Packing only a few things, while you and Louis tried convincing her to stay. Standing her ground, she gave you both a hug, letting the wind carry her away.

Seven years flew by, silence made its way into the house that no longer felt like a home. Louis nose-deep in book after book, Lestat leaving going god knows where, while you remained secluded, drawing, reading, and sometimes staring at the wall.

Tonight was a rarity, Lestat wasn't running off, and Louis sat on the sofa, reading, while you sat in a chair, your head lying on your arm, taking in the soft jazz music.

Hearing the door open, Claudia entered, setting her suitcase on the floor. Rushing over, you wrapped your arms around her, rocking back and forth. Pulling away, your heart broke as Louis hugged her tightly. He too had been taking it so hard, since she had been gone. Abruptly, the music stopped, Lestat glaring at her.

“The prodigal daughter”

“I've come to apologize, I put all of you in a bad spot, I wasn't right in my head. I am now,” she said. You couldn't put your finger on it, but there was something different about her, a certain brokenness, she was trying to shut away.

“Apology not accepted,” Lestat said.

“How was college? Magna cum? Summa cum? Phi Beta Kappa?” he continued.

“I've read a lot of books. Started with Persia and Babylon, the old gods who longed for blood. A lot of it was popcorn, but a few old tomes. A Romanian tract on vampirs. A strange old Hungarian text, ‘Masticatione Mortuorum,’ the chewing dead. I plan to leave for that part of the world as soon as I can,” she told him. You and Louis shared a look, sensing that this wasn't headed in a positive direction.

“So, quick stop home to do laundry before you fuck off for good,” Lestat spat.

“A quick stop to pick up my mama and Louis,” she told him. Your hand went to your stomach, trying to control the unsettling nervousness building up. Lestat glanced at the two of you, before glaring at her in disgust.

“Oh, Perused a few folklore anthologies, and now you're going to cross the ocean and take on a society of monsters,” he said, slowly making his way towards her.

“If what I've read is lies, then tell me what's true,” she told him, but he only continued to stare at her as if she was beneath him.

“Seven years and what’s changed, other than you need a housekeeper?” she sneered. He slowly approached her, and as you were about to step forward to intervene, Louis grabbed your hand, discreetly shaking his head.

“The vampires out there…are vicious. Oh, but you've learned that already. Who did you meet out there in the American hinterland? Read her,” Lestat looked at the two of you, walking away. Staring at her, you quickly wiped the tear from your eye, you couldn't imagine what she had been through all on her own.

“That’s it, keep 'em scared. That's his way,” she said to you both.

“The vampires in Europe are much, much worse”

“But I think he's scared,” she spoke over him.

“I never asked, how did Charlie taste? Like the love you'll never really know,” he said, trying to get under her skin.

“And when he's scared, he ridicules”

“She was a destitute little girl, destined to live an inconsequential little life,” he said, approaching the both of you.

“And we took it from her, we cursed her,” Louis said, making the smug expression drop from his face. Looking at you, his frown deepened, seeing you gaze at her, the bloody tears moments from seeping out.

“Come with me!” she called out, both of you staring at her.

“Come with me, mama, Louis”

“Louis, Y/n,” Lestat said, becoming angry as neither of you looked at him.

“I thought I could live without either of you, but I was wrong,” Claudia said, her eyes pleading for you to come along.

“Y/n, Louis”

“Louis, Y/n,” Lestat continued, raising his voice.

“His love is a small box he keeps you both in, don't stay in it,” she said, as you glanced at him.

“A thousand nights of sulking, and the first sight of her, you are just gonna up and leave me?!” Lestat yelled.

“Please, come with me! Let’s be vampires worth of your love!” Claudia screamed before Lestat surged, choking her.

“Get off of her,” you said, going to shove him off of her. However, he was much stronger, gaining the upper hand, his fingers wrapping around your throat, he looked unrecognizable.

“You, always choosing her,” he spat, before Louis charged over, tackling him.

As they fought, Claudia screamed, panicking, as you tried to keep up with them. Throwing Louis in the living room. Lestat straddled him, punching him in the face.

“Lestat, stop it,” you cried out, jumping on his back, but he easily slung you across the room, as you smashed into the wall, you could feel your arm already broken.

“Claudia, stay down here,” you told her, rushing to the bedroom.

“Stop fighting,” you screamed, as they continued tackling each other.

“Let him go,” you hear Claudia crying.

“It’s alright, you stay where you're at,” Louis told her, as if he wasn't completely bruised up.

“You're going to choose her too? Leave me for her when she left you both, I’ve been here,” he told you, as you slowly backed away, unsure of what he'd do next.

“Lestat st-

“Do not tell me what to do,” he told you, wrapping his hand around your throat, and pulling you close. His nails were in your skin, with your airway completely blocked.

Dragging both of you downstairs, and outside, you could hear Claudia running.

“I fought myself a million times, fought my nature, controlled my temper. I never once harmed either of you,” he said.

“Let him go,” you cried, hoarsely, trying to claw at his hand, while reaching for Louis.

“Silence,” he told you.

“Uncle Les”

“It's Uncle Les, now suddenly?”

“Let them go, they didn't do nothin’, let them go, it's me you want,” you could hear her steps approaching.

“Listen to me, and listen very carefully my infant death, it was never you. No matter how much your mama made you think otherwise,” he spat, crushing your throat, and dragging you both out into the road.

“I chose you, and you, given you the dark gift and you've betrayed me,” he said, biting into your neck, draining almost every ounce of blood from your body, before throwing you, watching as you flew into the backyard, colliding with bricks, you could feel your rib cage shatter.

However, as you stood up, you quickly fell to your knees in pain and fear for Louis’s life, watching as they flew into the sky to the point where they were no longer seen.

“Mama, are you alright?” Claudia ran to you, reaching for her hand, your other hand on your throat. You couldn't speak, Lestat’s nails had managed to pierce through. Claudia gasped, as you coughed, blood spilling out.

“Are you okay?” you asked.

“I’m okay, we just need to get Louis,” she said, helping you stand, however, just as you stood, Louis fell from the sky, hitting the ground. Limping over, you were afraid to touch him, the slightest touch looked as if it would break him even more.

Crying, you looked up, staring into Lestat’s eyes as he flew over you all, not saying a word. You couldn't say it, but from your expression, there was no way you could easily forgive him after this.

Healing was a struggle, not just from the physical damage, but any previous trust was gone. While you managed to bounce back within a few months, Louis had a long way to go. Lestat skipped town and hadn't bothered to show his face.

You avoided thinking about him, altogether. Dedicating yourself to Claudia and Louis, from coffin-bound to limping, every day was progress. Louis was slowly getting better and you both worked on strengthing your bond with Claudia. Then the calls started coming.

All of this time, you managed to push through the soreness and pain, but the moment he called you hid away, licking your eternal wounds. He was a completely different person that night, the things he said, the things he'd done. After Louis fully healed, you were no longer opposed to the idea of leaving for Europe with Claudia.

Hearing the doorbell ringing, you turned your head, watching as Claudia went outside. You could hear his voice, he had gifts, and he wanted to talk, to apologize. Louis went upstairs, throwing his coffin out of the window, you couldn't help but snicker.

“There’s your answer”

“And where is Y/n? I know she would enjoy these paints, they are rare. I paid quite a price because I knew she would make the most beautiful-

“My mama ain't got nothin’ to say to you, like you said, she betrayed you, choosing me,” she told him, shutting the door, and locking it.

Coming back to the living room, she glanced your way before to Louis, who came from upstairs. As Louis sat next to you, you pulled him close.

“You okay?” you asked him.

“Getting there,” he mumbled, smiling as you kissed his cheek.

Lestat didn't show his face anymore, but the gifts never stopped. Each time more spontaneous than the next, and while you knew, Louis was becoming weaker, you wished you could say the same for yourself.

“Emily Dickinson is not a vampire,” Louis said, as you laughed.

“How do you know?” she asked.

“Because she is dead,” you pointed out.

“How do you know?”

“She got a grave,” Louis said.

“And a tombstone,” you added.

“So do you,” She told Louis, all of you laughing, afterward.

As you crossed the streets, the driver honked their horn, as they slowly came to a stop in front of you. Opening the door, Lestat climbed out, smiling at you all. Rolling your eyes, you simply looked the other way.

“25 horsepower Rolls-Royce six-cylinder engine and a front end they call a coffin nose, is that rich? This one’s yours, mine’s back at home in blue,” he said, showing off the new car, and tossing the keys to Louis.

“I know how much you despise driving, so I got you other things, the finest fabrics, books, art supplies, and music, waiting for you at home, I'm back in town permanently,” he continued, looking your way, but you just stared off to the side, as if you didn't see him.

“Were you gone?” Claudia asked him.

“Across the river, in Algiers,” he said, you could still feel his eyes on the two of you.

“You know who lives in Algiers” Claudia said to you, as you clenched your jaw.

“I don't know what possessed me that night,” he said.

“Three years ago, that night, three years ago, he means,” Claudia corrected him.

“I was someone I don't want to be anymore. I've changed. Let me prove it to you. I’m nothing without you. I’m nothing without any of you”

“If you want me to go away, just say so. I’ll obey you. I’ll leave your lives forever. This silence is cruel, all I ask is that Y/n looks at me. You haven't spared me a glance since I've been here. Neither of you were ever cruel, don't let our situation change you,” he said.

“Just look at him,” Louis pleaded.

Turning to face him, he cleared his throat, straightening his posture. You didn't say anything, emotionlessly staring at him.

“You look stunning as always, ma chérie,” he complimented, his heart breaking as you looked away again.

Taking the keys, Claudia threw them, before scratching the car, reaching for your hand, walking away.

Six years, came and went, and more gifts flooded the house. It was unspoken between you and Louis that you both missed him. Although it looked different, Louis wanted him to come running back, each extravagant, but sentimental gift was tugging more and more at Louis’s heart. You preferred the distance, reminiscing on the past, before that night. You didn't think you could have that back, now, you secretly enjoyed every time he saw you, or wrote to you, begging that you would acknowledge him.

Unexpectedly, it happened, the record came in the mail and was immediately played. The song meant to win you both back while pissing you off, a song sung by his affair partner. Louis was seething, grabbing the record, and ran out of the house.

“You're not going with him?” Claudia asked.

“They will be back,” you mumbled, knowing his plan worked, he got through to Louis and would be coming back.

“Rule number four-

“Kill Antoinette”

“Antoinette is my own private-

“Affair,” Claudia said.

“Said child, interfering in the romantic lives of her parents,” Lestat said, wanting one of you to stop her. She had been sharp with him since the moment he stepped into the house.

“She will be 33 soon, far from a child,” you reminded him, rolling your eyes.

“It’s a lick and a promise in vampire years,” he shrugged.

“Maybe, but I am not your child anymore, that's rule number five,” Claudia said, catching his attention.

His eyes shifted from her to you, your interlocked hands. She had you, wrapped around her fingers, taken from him. Louis was more willing to work on the broken relationship, but you had shut him out, choosing your child.

“I’ll be your companion, your sister,” she told him, as he scoffed.

“It's not as simple as choosing a new family configuration, now I'm your cousin, now I'm your aunt, I am your maker,” he told her rudely.

“I’m going to bed,” you said, standing abruptly, he looked into your cold eyes, searching for any emotion.

“Will you not lay down your rules, as well?” he asked, sarcastically.

“Good night,” was all you said, turning away, going upstairs.

“She needs time,” you could hear Louis say.

Did you need more time? You didn't go through nearly as much as Louis and he managed to forgive him, why couldn't you? You were never maternal until Claudia came along, perhaps it came with being a mother. The way that he treated her, turned you against him. As much as you loved him, thinking back to the times you were spoiled, lavished as if you were royalty, you couldn't bring yourself to open up.

Hunting became insufferable. Louis began drinking human blood, it was supposed to bring everyone closer, hunting as a family, but you kept your distance. He knew he'd wounded you, his choice of words hurting you just as bad, and he'd have to be more persistent to win you back.

“I wished you’d look at me, the simplest glance would help me a great deal,” he said, following you, sighing in relief as you faced him.

“Happy?”

“You have my heart at your will, your precious words command me, and I would do anything you ask of me,” he said, trying to fight the tears, as you slowly approached him.

“Take up your heart, I wouldn't want you to feel betrayed when I don't choose you,” you said, turning around, leaving him to stand there and try to gather his emotions.

“Could you at least try to compromise?” Louis asked you, as you looked through the different fabrics in the store.

“I am-

“No, you're not, you put your coffin in Claudia’s room, and the other night, whatever you said, he cried himself to sleep”

“Aw, poor baby,” you said, placing the fabrics into Louis’ arms.

“You agreed that we would work things out, everybody is compromising trying to work through our problems, we need you too,” he said, pouting, as you approached the cash register.

“Fine, I hate when you give me that look,” you playfully rolled your eyes at him.

“Thank you, I love you,” you grinned.

“I love you,” you laughed, pecking his lips.

Later that night, after putting away your things, and changing into your nightgown, you were about to into Claudia’s room, when you stopped. Huffing, you went to your shared bedroom, opening the door.

“Did she say anything? I left a note, but she never responds,” Lestat grumbled.

“I talked with her, but it is up to her to make a decision,” Louis said.

“I hope you don't expect us to squeeze that coffin,” you said, making both of them face you.

“We could always sleep in the bed,” Louis offered, both of them approaching you.

‘Thank you’ he said, as you faced Lestat.

“Will you keep that stupid look on your face, or will you speak?” you asked.

“I didn't know it was okay for me to do so,” he chuckled.

“Y/n is willing to compromise, she hasn't said it verbally, but she does still love you,” Louis spoke, as you stared at the two of them.

“Ma chérie, if I could take back what I've said, what I’ve done-

“But you can't”

“I can't, and I will have to live with the burden of knowing I hurt you and Louis both, your role in Claudia’s life was never a problem, I am sorry, my love,” he said, walking to you, falling to his knees in front of you. His head laid against your stomach, and he continued to apologize profusely.

“To have you look at me, after months of refusal, even if it is a look of anger, is to see heaven,” he said, looking up at you. Reaching for his hand, you helped him stand, pecking his lips. Holding your hand out for Louis, as soon as he was close enough, your lips were on his soft skin.

Pushing Lestat onto the bed, you straddled his lap, rolling your hips, as Louis stood behind you, kissing your neck. Leaning down, you wrapped your hands around his neck.

“I’ll forgive you, but if you ever do anything remotely similar, I’ll make sure you burn in the sun, and I’ll wear you as makeup,” you said, making him smirk.

“Anything you say, although the thought of me being on your face, arouses me greatly,” he said, watching as you pulled Louis onto the bed, moving over to him.

Your nearly decade-long monogamy had now come to an end, sharing the night with Louis and Lestat. You had forgotten how spontaneous he was, managing to pleasure both of you.

‘Have you taken him back, like Louis?’ Claudia asked.

‘For now’ you thought, as Lestat kissed along your shoulder blade.

‘Do you think Louis will help?’

‘He will’

‘Do you think it will work?’

‘I don't know, my child, but we will try’

‘We can do it, mama, he wants to keep you and Louis for himself, he hates me and would probably kill me if it meant having you both alone’

‘I know’

Now lying in bed, Lestat in between you and Louis, both of you in his arms.

“I hope you will allow me to continue to prove myself to you, and I am lost without either of you, I feel empty without you both here with me, I love you,” he spoke, you couldn't deny the way your heart fluttered.

“Then it is official, we will kill Lestat’

‘And if our plan doesn't work?’

‘Then we escape to Europe, we find other vampires, and we rebuild our lives there, does that sound okay?”

‘It sounds perfect’

‘Great, good night mama’

‘Good night, my child’

Looking up at Lestat’s face, he lay peacefully, his eyes shut, face relaxed. He was incredibly handsome, you didn't dare tell Claudia but coming to this room, you were just as weak as Louis. Would you be able to kill this beautiful man, the love of your life? Or run away and live an eternity with your daughter? You couldn't decide anymore, only time would tell.

brotha eughhh, this was so mid

[sjyism]

ENHYPEN's HYUNG LINE WHEN THEY'VE FALLEN IN LOVE.

⋆｡°✩ STARRING enha!hyung line x fem!reader GENRE fluff & semi angst WORD COUNT 6.1k words WARNING(S) N/A MENTIONS jungwon and niki cameo NOTE tank boy & jaws bar are korean ice cream :) :: reblogs & feedback are welcome c:

HEESEUNG (이희승)

❝ between the blurry vision you clearly come to me. ❞

heeseung will always count on you for some fun.

you were at the park attending one of heeseung's late night shenanigans. this happened every friday and this was the most normal thing he's done in over the two months you two started going out at night.

currently, you were on the way to the convenience store that was next to the park to get ice cream since you lost a game of rock, paper, scissors. while you were gone, heeseung sat on the swing and rocked back and forth, waiting for you to come back.

just a few minutes later, he sees you making your way back to the swings and slowly stops the swing. time freezes as he sees your hair blow in the wind with the car's bright headlights creating a spotlight behind you. deep down, he always knew that he had somewhat of a crush on you but didn't make a move as he noticed you weren't interested with anything else besides being best friends.

"they didn't have tank boy so i got you a jaws bar i hope that's okay," you rambled once you arrives, digging through the plastic bag to give him his.

"y-yeah, that's fine. thanks." heeseung gulps, freezing up at how close you were to him.

you didn't catch onto heeseung's actions towards you and he couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief.

"what's wrong?" you asked, opening your ice cream.

"nothing, but can i ask you something later?"

"why later?"

heeseung leans over to take a bite of your ice cream, "because, now's not the right time."

"hey! that's basically half of it! what the heck hee-"

READ MORE ↴

JAY (제이)

❝ i’ve fallen in love ever since you came to me ❞

jay always helps you with whatever you need without having been asked by you.

jay watches in awe as you waltz around the kitchen, grabbing whatever ingredients and materials needed to make his favorite cookies.

he wasn't the biggest fan of desserts but when it came to your baking, jay always folded right in half. he also finds it funny as this was the same way you reacted whenever he cooked for you. but it was more common for jay to cook rather than you bake.

"so, are you going to tell me what happened?" you asked as you whisked the ingredients in the bowl.

"what do you mean? nothing happened."

"yes, something did. you always come to me and ask for cookies if something's happened to you. you've done it ever since we were sophomores in high school." you say, pointing the whisk at the boy in front of you.

"okay, okay- jeez. you can put the weapon down." jay replies, putting his hands up in surrender.

you let out a giggle at his comment and go back to whisking, "this isn't a weapon."

"i promise you, nothing happened this time. i just wanted to eat your cookies. i've missed them."

you look up at jay to already see him looking right at you. quickly picking the bowl up, you move towards the stove and start putting the dough on the trays.

jay gets up from his spot and makes his way over to you, leaning in close to where your back was touching his chest.

"here, let me help."

he grabs the tray that was ready and puts it in the oven before setting a timer on his phone.

"thanks," your words begins to fade as you finally realize how close he was to you.

'has he always been this handsome?'

'looking beautiful, like always.'

JAKE (제이크)

❝ everything i believed in came crashing down ❞

jake will always take care of and protect you.

"hyung."

"yeah?"

"you're in love with y/n, aren't you?"

jake chokes on the soda he was drinking and looks at jungwon with wide eyes.

"are you crazy?! why would i love her?"

jungwon sighs while shaking his head and turns to where you were helping niki cut his birthday cake.

it was super obvious to everyone around jake that he has a massive crush on you. from the way he took care of you and even his tone of voice when he talks to you was so obvious.

just as jake was going to open his mouth to rebuttal again, jungwon nudges his torso and smiled as you made your way over to the two of them with two slices of cake.

"here you go! got a bigger slice for you jake, since you loved it last time at my birthday."

"thanks my love, i appreciate it." he pats your head and watches jungwon thank you for the cake as well.

"my love? yeah- you're totally not in love." jungwon snorts, watching his friend stare at you with heart eyes pouring out of them.

SUNGHOON (박성훈)

❝ time endlessly went toward eternity also disappeared at the blink of an eye. ❞

sunghoon will always come to you no matter the time and day.

music fills the car as sunghoon races down the highway in the middle of the night. it's one of those nights where you called sunghoon up because you couldn't fall asleep. it's always a hit or miss with him and tonight's one of the lucky moments you get to be with him.

sunghoon turns his head to face you as sees you through the right side mirror with closed eyes, letting the wind blow through your hair. if he listens in closely, he could hear you quietly humming along to the song that was playing.

just as he exits the highway, your face brightens up as you notice that it's the exit to the beach.

"are we going to the beach?!" you say excitedly, sitting up.

"yeah, it's been a while so i figured we could go when no one's around." he replies, smiling softly.

"thank you! thank you! thank you! i love you so much!" sunghoon freezes for a millisecond before patting your arm as you threw your arms around him for a hug.

"yeah yeah, love ya too." he replies, clearing his throat. sunghoon shoots a quick glance over to see if you've noticed any change.

soon enough, the two of you climb out of the car and sunghoon watches as you run towards the water, tripping over your own feet from excitement.

"calm down! the water isn't going anywhere. what if you twist your ankle." sunghoon scolds once he makes his way over to you.

"i'll be fine! besides, doesn't the water look pretty tonight?"

"yeah, it does."

you could feel sunghoon's gaze boring into the side of your face and you know that he hasn't even looked out towards the water ever since you've arrived.

"hey y/n?"

"yeah?"

sunghoon stares at you for a couple of seconds before turning to face the way, letting out a sigh. not now, but maybe later.

"what, do i have something on my face?"

[definitelynotabirthblog]

A School Birth

This is a story I've been working on for a few days now. While the birthing character is a school girl, she is still intended to be aged 18. I hope you enjoy it.

---------------------------

"Jessica Bailey, is that you? Jessica, you've not been seen since third period. What on earth is going on? Jessica - Jess?"

James hurried into the empty classroom and found the sobbing girl crouched on all fours in the corner, half hidden by a desk. Her flushed, terrified face gazed as him as she rocked back and forth, her school uniform drenched in sweat. Her legs were bare but her shoes and tights were nowhere to be seen. There was puddles and splatters of liquid all over the floor and her belongings had been flung to the side, the contents of her bag spilling out.

He had hurried into the room presuming a telling off and possibly a detention for sneaking away from class would be all he would need to give, but he had chanced upon a scene he could not have expected. The girl was clearly incredibly distressed, her tear-streaked eyes pleading for help.

He half jogged over to her and squatted down by her shoulders. She flinched when he touched her.

"Jess, what is it? Why are you screaming?"

"Oooooh! Oooooh!" she shrieked, rocking her hips slowly. Her breathing was coming in quick, shallow breaths, as though she was hyperventilating.

He noticed blood had pebbledashed her calves as she hunched over and wondered it she was menstruating.

"Jess, did you get your period? Is that what hurts?" he asked, silently thinking that this charade was a bit of an over reaction for a period.

As her breathing eased, she shook her head, tears still falling down her cheeks.

"Jess, sweetheart, if it's not your period, then what on earth is it?"

Jess continued to cry, shaking her head desperately.

"Jessica, sit up. I can't help you if you don't tell me what is wrong. Come on now." Starting to feel frustrated, he took her arm and tried to ease her into a sitting position. Reluctantly, she forced her body to stay upright, clutching the desk for support.

"That's better. Now tell me what the matter is. I can see you're in a lot of pain." He rubbed her arm reassuringly.

Jess burst into fresh floods of tears. However, at this angle he could get a better look at her. She hadn't been in any of his classes this year so he hadn't spent much time with her recently. As he assessed the situation, his eyes moved down to her school shirt. She had always been a slender girl so why was it fitting her so tightly all of a sudden? And, as she was normally as flat as a pancake, why was her belly stuck out so much? With a jolt of realisation, as suddenly as someone had turned on light switch, he put the blood on her legs, her bellows of pain that he had heard from another building and the puddles of liquid on the flood together with her round belly and found a single question forming on his lips.

"Jess, are you pregnant?"

Screwing her face up in pain as another pain overwhelmed her, she nodded and got back down onto her hands and knees, where she began rocking her way through the contraction. "Arghhhhhh!"

Panicking, he felt for his phone in his trouser pocket. He stomach sank as he realised he had left his phone in his own classroom when he came to investigate. No one ever came in this building now, not since the new building opened in September so the chances of someone else coming across the scene was low.

"Can you feel baby coming now?"

She nodded again, her breaths ragged between her cries.

"Okay... okay... you're okay, it's alright, I'm here," he said, more to reassure himself than her. Trying to not spiral into panic, he thought back to his only experience of childbirth, his own childrens' births. His wife refused to let him be down at the business end so he spent most of those days rubbing her back and having his hand squeezed. He looked at Jess now, her body close to convulsing with pain, the sound of fluid dripping onto the floor between her shaking legs and knew he had had to act. It was time to play midwife.

"I need to take a look at you, just to see if I can see anything, Jess. Do you mind if I lift your skirt up?" he asked hesitantly.

Too deep in her own world as the pain overcame her, Jess barely heard him and could not respond. Acknowledging that a baby was coming within a matter of minutes, he got up and repositioned himself so he was kneeling directly behind her and gently lifted up her skirt. Between her two pale buttocks, he saw her brownish-pink asshole which bulged with the pressure of her baby's head in her rectum. Beneath her stretched perenium, the inch-wide, dark patch of her newborn's head was slowly forcing its way out of her body. More fluid spurted from under the head onto the floor between her legs as the contraction peaked.

"Shit, shit, shit," he whispered, quickly taking off his jacket and putting it between her knees. He thought back to his youngest son's birth, scrambling for anything in his memory of it which might help now. As the contraction tailed off, her breathing eased again.

"Jess?"

"W-what?" she panted.

"I can see baby's head. Erm, when the next pain comes, I want you to push as hard as you can, alright?"

"I didn't realise it was going to hurt so much!" she whispered, her voice cracking.

"I know it hurts, sweetheart. But you've done so well already and I promise I'm going to do my best to help you have this baby safely," he reassured her.

As the next contraction pulled Jess back into her world of pain, she bore down. The noises coming out of her mouth, raw and primal, could only be described as roars as, inch by torturous inch, the baby came slowly out of her body. As the head emerged further, her labia stretching more with each push, James had a flashback to something the midwife told his wife as she was about to crown.

"Jess, instead of pushing, can you just try to blow for me. Like you're blowing out candles. Like this - hooo, hooo, hooo," he demonstrated.

"Hooo, hooo, hooo, hooo," Jess breathed.

The head descended futher, swirls of wet hair now visible on the infant's head.

"Good girl, Jess!"

"Hooo, hooo, hooo, hooo... Arghhhhhh!" she screamed, the widest part of the head of now slipping out of her vagina. "Oh god, it burns!"

"Just keep breathing for me."

Finally, the whole head popped out with another splash of fluid.

"The head's out! I'm ready to catch, okay?" He carefully balanced the head in his hands. Seconds later, the baby turned so it was facing Jess's left thigh. Another contraction came and she started to push, grunting and groaning. The first shoulder slid out closely followed by the second as he carefully supported the slippery body. The rest of the baby then dropped into his arms with a gush of fluid. The baby cried lustily, feeling fresh air on its body for the first time.

"Jess... Jess... you did it. It's okay," he said, looking down at the squirming infant. Jess could only cry in relief, as she crouched on her hands and knees.

James lowered the baby down on his jacket between Jess's legs.

"I'm bringing the baby through your legs, okay?"

He pushed the screaming infant through its mother's legs. Using the desk leg to support herself up into a sitting position, she pulled her firstborn from between her thighs and up to her chest. James repositioned himself so he was knelt by Jess's side, where he found himself putting his arm around her shoulders.

'My word, Jess Bailey, you've lead us a merry dance today!" he exclaimed.

[grison-in-space]

I'm sorry? Pigeons have to coo to ovulate?

okay, okay, I left this one out in the tags without elaborating the other day and you were not the only person who asked-- @nanavn and @corvus--caurinus were also curious. I did not have a ton of time yesterday when my brain was not leaking out my ears, so here I am today.

First, I apparently misremembered my grad school teachings: the best-documented case study of doves being required to hear their own coo in order to ovulate is that of the ring or Barbary dove (Streptopelia risoria), not the rock dove which gave rise to our domestic pigeons (Columba livia). They look like this:

They're the domestic doves you see sometimes that aren't domestic pigeons.

But yes, I was completely serious: hens need to very specifically hear their own nest coo to ovulate. The way it works is this: these doves have a very specific courtship pattern, where courting males at different stages of the nesting process perform first a "bow" coo, then a nest coo. Then the hen makes a nest coo back, and the pair goes on to build a nest together in which the hen will lay fertile eggs.

If you prevent the hen from producing this coo--and the first paper I've linked does this in several different ways with both neural lesions and also mechanical blocks of the synrinx--she will not ovulate. Then Dr. Cheng tried rescuing the effect for doves who could hear but not produce their own coos by playing back recordings of devocalized doves' own nest coos, recordings of other hen's nest coos, recordings of male nest coos (their own males, I think, for preference?) and no recordings at all. Hen nest coo recordings, especially the recordings of the hens themselves, were enough to rescue ovulation effect... but deafened hens who could, themselves produce nest coos weren't able to make ovulation happen half the time even when the male was right there. The male nest coo and his mating display is really important, because his coo stimulates the female to make her nest coo, and that's where ovulation starts.

In 2003, a little over a decade later, Dr. Cheng wrote a whole book chapter about auditory self-stimulation as a phenomenon in neuroendocrine shifts. It makes for pretty interesting reading! I'm going to really enjoy it this afternoon. Stimulated ovulation is actually a pretty common phenomenon in animals--often it makes more sense to only bother ovulating if you know there's a partner around to use whatever eggs you yield up--but this one is one of the most interesting and elaborate systems out there, and definitely the one that offers the most options to a given female dove to potentially consciously control her reproductive output.

But grison, you might ask, what about the doves outside my window? Is this just a function of this one dove species, or are lots of doves doing this to make ovulation happen? So I went looking to find out whether anyone has checked. The thing is that the heyday of pigeon behavioral research has faded somewhat in the intervening decades since Dr. Cheng's discovery, so there's not as much as I might hope where people sat down to investigate the question. I did, however, find a neat study on Columba livia demonstrating that auditory stimulation is more important to courtship displays and success than visual displays are, although of course the multisensory courtship is stronger than either sensory modality alone. So yeah, the cooing back and forth really loudly is part of a display that is functionally necessary for successfully producing offspring, and the auditory component is important for basically every pigeon that has been studied in this respect (albeit that number is pitifully small).

I also found this really interesting review of known uses of birdsong to set internal emotional states in birds (either for the self or for a partner or flockmates) that I want to look into with more detail, plus this really thoughtful review from Dr. Donna Maney talking about how "incentive salience" can use learning and experience to make certain cues bring up neuroendocrine changes in state over time, which helps individuals control how their endocrine system is reacting to stimuli in the world they've been shaped by. Clearly I have some reading to do...

[padded-piss-pup]

I decided I wanted to be diapered today so of course I had to ask my partner to put it on for me. After he did, he kissed me like he usually does and started talking about his day, but as he did so he put his hand on my crotch and started casually rubbing, acting like he didn't know what he was doing to me. I subtly (or not so subtly, as I would find out) started grinding my hips against his hand, trying not to let my expression betray how turned on I was. He finished talking and patted my diapered crotch, making me shiver, and told me he was going to leave me frustrated.

I drank a generous amount of water and soon enough I had to pee. Really bad. I was rocking back and forth and he noticed, asking me what was wrong. I blushed and told him I was trying not to pee. "So go pee!" His eyes flickered down to my crotch and I covered myself, feeling awfully exposed. I had to pee, but I didn't know if I could wet in front of him. He smiled and told me he would step out and use the bathroom to give me privacy and I felt so relieved. As soon as the door closed I started rocking back and forth, moaning, as I let the pee trickle out at first before becoming a steady stream. I shivered at the almost orgasmic pleasure of finally letting go, whimpering pathetically as my diaper rapidly expanded between my spread legs.

He came back and asked if I peed yet, and I was so embarrassed I covered my face before admitting it. He came over and patted my diaper, lightly groping it as he exclaimed "You did! Good job!" I was so flustered from the whole thing I couldn't stop blushing and trying to hide my face. He laughed at my embarrassment and then went back to gaming.

I drank some more water as he gamed, periodically taking hits of my dab pen until I felt warm and fuzzy. My desperation grew quickly and soon I was writhing and clenching my body, shuddering as I tried to keep the pee inside my body. After an hour of desperation I finally said "hey, I can't hold it much longer, do you want to watch?"

His eyes widened and he was instantly excited, but he was in the middle of a match. "I'll do my best to hold it until the end of the match" I said with a shaky voice. The next five minutes felt like an eternity, and my bladder spasmed when I heard the announcer say "Victory!"

He practically leapt out of his chair and rushed over to me, sitting in front of my splayed legs on the bed. I covered my face, embarrassed again, and he pointed out "This was your idea, I'm right here" and those were the words that broke my brain. Pee started gushing out of me as I whimpered, slowly uncovering my face to lean back in ecstacy. I met his eyes for a moment and saw him watching my diaper fill with a lustful look on his face. He reached out and felt my diaper as I peed, softly squishing and patting it. It was so hot feeling him grope me as I peed for what felt like an eternity. When I was finally done he patted my diaper affectionately and kissed me deeply while rubbing my crotch. I felt like I was burning with how horny I was, and I so desperately wanted him to keep rubbing but he stopped after a bit and gave me a quick kiss on my diaper. Then he went back to gaming, leaving me even more hot and bothered.

I've been lying in bed ever since and I can't stop wondering what else he'll do to tease me tonight. My diaper is getting fuller and fuller as I wait...

[idwt-money]

Roomies

MDNI 18+

1.7k words

Noah Sebastian x Fem!Y/n

CW: unprotected sex, slight breeding kink, fingering, little eensy weensy bit of dirty talk

You and Noah had been roommates for a year on the dot. You both took the day and threw a small “celebration”. You had movies, snacks, your favorite fast food places and of course, alcoholic beverages.

Your movie options were wide ranged, from comedy to horror. Horror was your personal favorite but you didn't mind comedy at all.

You were watching The Shining, currently, such a classic movie. You could never get tired of it but Noah was so over it. You had forced him to watch it at least 25 times with you.

“Y/n, this is so boring!! I've seen this movie at least 30 times and you, even more!” He groaned.

“Whatever! It's my favorite!” You pushed off his annoyance and turned back to the movie. You had a bowl of pretzels, popcorn and chocolate chips. It was a good snack to just snack on while you mindlessly watched the movie.

Noah had his own bowl that he had now got up from his laid-back position on the couch, fully sitting up.

“Noah, move!! You're completely blocking the screen.” You rolled your eyes as Noah smirked and chuckled.

“Oh no! What a tragedy!” He sat facing you now, still covering the TV.

He leaned in close and you knew what would happen. You had no time to run away before Noah's hands were on your sides, tickling you.

“No! Noah oh my god!! Let me go!!” You tried to be mindful of your upstairs neighbors but your voice turned into more of a screech.

Noah completely ignored your pleas and continued his business. You wiggled and squirmed and you were now against his chest. You tried your best to get away from his grasp but it was no use.

Luckily, Noah had stopped, giving you a chance to breathe.

“We're going to get a fucking noise complaint because of you.” You mumbled.

“Yeah, whatever. The landlord is a douche anyways.”

Noah's arms were wrapped around you, keeping you safe and sound. This wasn't anything out of the ordinary. You were both single and sometimes just needed to feel loved.

You wouldn't lie, you found Noah attractive. His tattoos were appealing and his muscles had become more defined since he moved in and his hair had such a nice cut. You would joke about his scar from the lip piercing he had ages ago.

You and Noah had started off as strangers but now you were more inseparable as ever could be.

You were falling asleep as Noah was rocking you both back and forth on the couch, it was pretty late but luckily neither of you had work in the morning. It had worked out perfectly.

“Don't fall asleep on me, now.” His voice was low and rough but yet so comforting.

“Hm? I'm not!” You looked up at him and smiled.

“Seems like you might be.” He softly laughed.

“Nuh uh.” You shook your head.

He gave a soft kiss to your forehead. Usually, they would be friendly and would just be a soft peck, but this one was different.

It lasted longer, his arms tightened around you and he pulled you closer. For a split second, you thought something might have been wrong with him.

“Are you okay, Noah?” Your eyes gave concern when he pulled away.

“I'm perfectly fine, angel.” He smiled.

Angel was a nickname he used often with you when he was being cutesy. A blush rose to your cheeks, your face now being flushed pink.

“You look like one of those anime characters when they blush. You know, with the three blush lines?” His eyes were focused on yours, one hand now playing with their hair.

“Angel?” He sounded anxious.

“Yes, Noah?”

“Can I kiss you?”

A moment of silence was shared between you two before you nodded.

He took it slow and gave you a spiderman kiss. You smiled into the kiss and held onto his arm. When he pulled away, you pulled him back in.

You wanted this for a long time without even knowing.

This kiss was deeper, more meaningful. The first kiss was to seemingly test the waters. To see if either you or him had felt like it was right.

It felt more than right.

In no time, your tongues were dancing around each other and Noah's hand (with permission of course) was starting to explore your body.

His left hand groped your tits while his right hand was slowly dipping into your panties. He was taking too long for your liking, so you took it in your hands and moved his fingers under the waistband of your panties, letting him feel the pool of wetness he had caused you.

It caused him to break from the kiss, letting a soft moan escape from his lips. Instead of going back to your lips, he kissed along your neck. His middle and ring finger started to move along in small circles on your clit. Every so often gliding them up and down your cunt to collect the new wetness that had pooled up.

You leaned your head to the side and watched his hand move from your cunt to remove your pajama pants and underwear.

“Fuck I bet your pussy looks so damn pretty, angel.”

He took in your scent, the perfume you worse drove him up the wall. He could devour you in seconds if you'd allow him.

He had you open your legs, sliding his fingers through your cunt once more before plunging them into you. Your breath was caught in the back of your throat. God only knows how long it's been since you've been fucked, let alone fingered, by another person.

“Oh, god…Noah-” You started to grind against his hand, feeling his free hand grip you tight. You could feel his cock harden and twitch under your back. The way you're moving your body only made it worse. Your back rubbing against Noah's cock was making him go crazy.

His fingers curled up into your g-spot, causing you to shutter and snap your legs closed.

“Don't you dare. Keep them open, angel.”

You tried your best to do as he said. It was so hard. The pleasure was all too much and your body was on the verge of taking a mind of its own.

“Noah- oh god, Noah..” Your cunt tightened and clenched around his fingers, signaling how close you were to him. Noah didn't have to say anything to you to let you get yourself over the edge.

It crashed into you. After fucking yourself for so long, having someone else touch you was undescribable.

Your nails dug into his arm and you slowly came down.

When you had gained your energy back, you turned around, facing Noah, sitting on your knees.

“Take your shorts off.”

“Are you sure, angel? You don't have to-”

“Noah, shut up. Let me have you.”

With no further questions, Noah threw his clothes somewhere in the living room. His cock was utterly beautiful. It had a pretty pink tip, veins running up and down the shaft and god it made you drool.

You spit onto it, stroking it once or twice, so it wouldn't hurt as much when you sat on it.

You desperately wanted to wrap your lips around it and suck him dry, but he denied.

“I won't last long enough, please just let me feel you. Fuck, please, angel.” His words were more so pleas than directions.

You took your shirt off, along with his as you started to crawl into his lap. Once the rest of your clothes were discarded, you sat down on his cock.

Your mouth hung open as Noah's eyes rolled back. You steadied yourself by putting your hands on either side of Noah's shoulders. Noah took charge and placed his hands on your waist.

“Holy shit. You feel like heaven on fucking earth.” His voice was breathy and it made your pussy flutter around him.

You started off by grinding on his cock, letting yourself adjust to his size. He was bigger than you expected and definitely bigger than anyone else you had slept with before.

“You're so fucking big. Holy shit!”

He smirked and started to slightly bounce you up and down. Once you caught onto the pace Noah set, You took it into your own hands.

Noah made a ponytail in his hand and softly pulled your head backwards. He placed a fat hickey onto your neck. He knew you'd be pissed, he knew it would highschool behavior but fuck, he couldnt help it. It looked so perfect on you. Made by him.

Your eyes rolled back and you let your legs do the work for you. Noah was meeting you halfway, thrusting his hips to fuck even deeper into you.

You swore you could feel his cock hitting your cervix with every thrust.

You knew you'd be sore as fuck tomorrow but it'd all be worth it for the sex you were having with the man in front of you.

“Fuck, you have no idea…how long…I've wanted to do this..” He spoke between catching his breath.

You heard the wet noises from your pussy and your skin hitting together. Weirdly, it was such a hot sound, knowing the cause made you even wetter. You were dripping down your thigh and onto Noah's pelvis bone.

You both were an absolute mess but it felt so good. Neither of you could think straight and all you wanted was to feel was Noah's cock pump you full of his babies.

Noah knew all of your ins and outs. You had many conversations of your kinks and fantasies, solely as friends. Mostly when you were drinking or getting high, but nonetheless, he remembered them all.

“Wanna feel my babies, hm? Feel me stuff you full of my cum.” His words were harsh but his body language was so soft and gentle. Despite his cock completely abusing your cunt.

You nodded, tears building up in your waterline.

“God, yes please Noah. I wanna feel you.”

You felt your stomach tighten up, like a rubber band that was ready to explode.

“Pl-please!!” You cried out

“Cmon, angel. Do it with me. You got it, baby.”

Sweat was building up on his toned chest, making him look even more attractive, if that was at all possible.

Within the next three thrusts, Noah had painted your insides. It made you feel so warm and fucked out. It was utter bliss.

You collapsed on Noah's chest, heaving for air.

Noah's hand ran through your hair as he thanked you.

“Want me to run you a shower, angel?”

[wonuwrites]

Seventeen In The Beginning Stages Of A New Relationship x

saw someone do an ask in someone elses inbox and thought this would be fun to write about. Especially since I've been writing SO much angst lately. It would be nice to have some teeth rotting fluff :)

Prompt: How would Seventeen Members be in the beginning stages of a new relationship?

Warnings: really fluffy, sfw version so sorry no horny time, minors still don't interact tho~, pet names, potentially cussing because that's the person I am. idk if you like cute shit you might not like this.

ღ S Coups: super soft, complete opposite of how he usually is.

Almost all of them are the type to be "down bad" but holy shit Seungcheol is on another level.

Thinks that you are royalty and treats you that way.

He holds the door for you.

Opens the car door for you and puts his hand above your head so you wont bang your head.

He will be the best bag and umbrella holder.

He always walks to your front door with fresh flowers before each date.

Has a million compliments running through his mind but too shy to admit them all because he's afraid you will run away.

The first time you interlocked your fingers with his, he almost died.

Like his heart almost backflipped out of his chest and he just felt electrified.

He has a list of things you like saved to his phone so he can 'surprise' you out of the blue.

I can see him thinking long term pretty early on in your relationship.

You just are so important to him as he is to you.

ღ Jeonghan: super shy but can't help but tease still.

Jeonghan would act like it was the other way around but he was SO wrapped around your finger.

When you weren't looking he would be sending you the biggest heart eyes.

He'd constantly wonder how the hell he got so lucky to have someone like you.

He would want to be next to you all the time.

Sometimes he'd forget time was a thing and would send "goodnight" texts after practice or schedules.

Sometimes that would be like 3 in the morning and then he'd triple text an apology.

Luckily you would find it precious.

But not as precious as he thought YOU were.

He would always have a smile plastered on his face when he was around you.

He just thought you were so neat.

ღ Joshua: insane yet a gentleman

Listen, Joshua is insane but he's a gentleman. Especially to his baby.

When you agreed to be his, he felt like he won the lotto.

He would so mindful of you.

He would want to know everything about you.

As long as you were comfortable with it though.

TBH he would either do big gestures or little ones. No in between.

He would make you a bracelet with both of your favorite colors.

He would love to talk on the phone with you.

Especially at night after a long day of practices.

Even though he MUCH rather be with you in person, your voice is music to him.

You are his peace.

Overtime, you become apart of the 'evil twin' chaos with him and Jeonghan.

Seventeen would call you three the 'evil triplets'

If you are crazy as well, you get bonus points.

ღ Jun: shy giggly mess but would do anything for you.

If you were to tell Jun to jump, he'd ask how high.

Similarly to Seungcheol, he'd be extremely down bad.

He would constantly smile at you no matter what.

Like, you could sneeze and he would find it adorable.

At the beginning before he was 1000% comfortable, he would giggle a lot and overthink everything.

Hell, he over thought whether or not it was too soon to hold your hand.

YOU had to be the one to grab his hand and swing it back and forth.

(That action alone gave him butterflies for 7 business days btw.)

The more comfortable he got, the more silly he got which made you giggle and become the shy giggly mess.

He would send you random pictures throughout the day of things that made him think of you.

TBH I can see him bringing you random things that made him think of you.

like a cool ass rock? Totally would bring it to you because the color of the rock reminded him of your eye color or whatever LOL.

He just wanted to show you how much he liked you.

ღ Hoshi: pretty much what you would expect

Soonyoung wore a smile whenever you were around and even strangers could see how whipped he was.

Do you rememember Loco and Hwasa's interaction on "Hyena's on The Keyboard?" Yeah basically, Soonyoung would be like Loco toward you. Especially the car scene when he bought Hwasa a lipstick LMFAO

You would make him so flustered most days and it was honestly so cute.

The days he was a bit more confident would make you so flustered but unlike you where it was unintentional his was intentional.

Cuddly lil tiger... rawr (I'm so sorry)

Honestly, just being near you was all he needed for a good day.

When you both were busy with various schedules, he would send you texts throughout the day and send you pictures and videos of things that made him think of you.

Which would honestly be basically everything because you were ALWAYS on his mind.

Basically just a cuddly lil simp that was so happy to be yours.

ღ Wonwoo: the biggest cheerleader tbh

All members would be hella supportive of their significant others but I feel like Wonwoo would be the most supportive.

Not in a way that would be overly shown but would bring you flower after big projects and things like that.

Loves to listen to you talk about projects, aspirations, and all at.

He is all smiles whenever you talk about things you are SUPER passionate about.

His love language would be acts of service so he would do his best to do things that would make your life a bit more easier.

Also would be a subtle romantic. He would take you on casual but meaningful dates.

If you went to an arcade he would make sure he won you a plushie.

Also, if you thought you were paying for anything, that would be cute.

Also, if you were also a gamer and wanted to play minecraft, he would put your beds next to each other in your shared house.

Just the best cheerleader <3

ღ Woozi: feels like he won the lottery

Jihoon feels like he won the lottery when it comes to you.

He found someone that liked him for Jihoon and not just because he was Woozi?!

He would constantly be shocked that you were so supportive of him and vice versa.

After like the second date, he already felt like you were going to be a muse for him.

Writes the cutest love songs for your ears only.

They would be some of the most vulnerable lyrics that would make you just cry because they were so beautiful.

He isn't a very touchy guy but he would hold your hands often.

Is a homebody mostly but would step out of his comfort zone to go on an adventure with you.

You both have 'secret gestures' when out in public. If you are nervous or want him to know you are thinking of him, you tug at your left ear twice. For him, he will rub the top of his nose bridge twice.

It gives him butterflies if you do it in front of y'all's friends.

He's honestly so down bad for you and just constantly grateful for you.

ღ DK: down bad, comfortable, your new best friend.

Seokmin had the biggest crush on you before you started dating. When you both got together he felt like the luckiest son of a bitch ever.

The other members would tease him constantly because he was so down bad and such a simp for you.

But hey, you weren't complaining because you also were down bad and a simp for him lol.

You both skipped the "awkward" parts of the beginning of a relationship and it just always felt so comfortable.

Even when it was learning about what you both liked and disliked.

You both just fit together like a puzzle piece.

You both were head over heels for each other super quick.

He just was your best friend and vise versa.

ღ Mingyu: 25/8 heart eyes and so thankful for you.

Mingyu was super emotional when it came to you.

He was a mix of Seungcheol and Seokmin where he was just so down bad for you and just so comfortable around you.

Similarly to Seungcheol, he would also think long term.

He just loved and craved doing domestic things with you.

He loved cooking, he loved movie nights, he loved late night drives where you were the best passenger princess.

Shit, he even loved folding laundry with you which he helped you do when it was pouring rain and y'all had to cancel reservations because the rain was so bad.

He just was so enchanted to be with you and love you.

Oh also, he is such a clingy man and would always want to hold your hand or be touching you in some way.

ღ Minghao: the moment when the anti-delulu becomes delulu for his baby

Minghao would find you to be the most precious person in the world.

He would want to do everything and anything for you.

He would constantly look at you with heart eyes.

He would be constantly flustered because of your antics.

He would think you were the most precious-est person to ever ever exist.

You would be a muse for him and his paintings.

Omg, if you both did paint dates, his heart would explode because you were both doing something he loved together.

If you were someone that likes to read, you both would cuddle and get lost in your books while near each other.

To him, you are perfect.

And to you, he is perfect.

ღ Seungkwan: he would want to be perfect because you deserve it

Seungkwan is very cautious about his image with him being an idol and doing variety shows often.

For first bit of the relationship, I can see him trying to prove something to you.

He would try his best to be perfect for you that you would have to sit him down and tell him that you like him for him. That him being an idol is just a lil bonus.

This would hard rewire his brain and he would learn how to be himself with you.

He is very vulnerable with you.

A lot of the members love that you bring a more casual side to him.

However, he would love if you were sassy and would be side eyeing people with him.

Imagine a lot of self care days with him. Like face masks while eating take out.

He just loves being around you because he feels safe.

You become his safe place <33333

ღ Vernon: partners in crime and just so thankful for you.

Hansol finding you was a dream come true and he often thanked the stars for finding you.

You both spoke in movie, vine, and tiktok quotes.

Most of your text convos are of random memes.

Some of the older members look at your relationship and just think "?????"

However, Hansol and you don't give a rats ass because you both understand and that is what matters.

He would match clothes with you.

He would often let you borrow his clothes because he thinks they looked way better on you then him.

He would show you his solo stuff before he showed anyone else.

He is just so in love with you awww.

ღ Dino: Down bad doesn't even cover it

I know I said Seungcheol was the ultimate when it came to being "down bad" but holy shit Lee Chan.

He would be a mix of all of his hyungs tbh

However, he would be so down bad that his hyungs would tease him.

He would bring you up ALL the time.

He had you as his wallpaper and even had a polaroid picture of you both in his wallet.

He would be your biggest fan and he just loved you so much.

He would do tiktok dance challenges with you all the time.

He also would try to find things cool things to do on dates with you.

[orangeheliophile]

BAKUGO X PREGNANT WIFE READER WHO IS A PRO HERO AND HAD TO GO ON MATERNITY LEAVE BC SHES EXPECTING TWINS UR WRITING IS SO GOOD

Omg, hi!!

Thank you for your request! I'm currently working on it, so bear with me, hahaha. This idea has been on my mind, so thank you for encouraging me to write it!

I've also added a small twist to it, so I hope that's okay!

I also love the GIF, haha. It made me smile and giggle for a good amount of time!😂

Baby Kacchan x2

(Bakugou Katsuki x reader)

What happens when you, the number four Pro Hero, have to go on maternity leave because of your husband, the number two Pro Hero? AKA Bakugou Katsuki. But here's the thing, it's twins, and you want to surprise your husband.

Warnings: Bakugou. Cursing, slightly suggestive, a bit of throwing up, little angst?

Contains: fluff, crack, clingy dramatic husband, silly reader. Reader is pregnant with twins. 25 yr old!Bakugou, pro hero Dynamight, mentions of Dynamy. Reader and Bakugou also have a yellow pomeranian named Missle Launcher. (You can guess who named it.)

You were sitting outside on the balcony, admiring the coral and tangerine sky as the golden sun slowly set into the distance. It's peaceful, the weather is just the right amount of warm and the scenery mesmerizing.

You and Katsuki are happily married, living together in a gorgeous villa he built for the both of you. It's a bit too big for just you both in your opinion, but that's because he was planning to raise your family in that house. The house was a style of traditional Japanese and Mediterranean, with vibrant colors and such beautiful architecture.

He thought of you in every moment when designing the house. How you'd want to be around nature, have a space for a library, and he definitely made sure to add those fairytale attics you've always wanted; with all the secret rooms and many windows.

Ever since you both babysat a certain set of triplets, he's been thinking of wanting to have a family with you. He would make an amazing father, always playing with his kids and making sure they know how amazing you are.

Little did he know, his wish was being fulfilled. You're pregnant. With twins. Who will make you look fat. Thanks a lot, mini Dynamights.

Slowly rocking back and forth on the chair, your hands caress the Itty bitty baby bump. You smile, an adoring look in your gaze as your yellow pomeranian, Missy (short for Missle Launcher), is sitting on the chair next to you with her tail wagging happily. She was the first one you told that you were pregnant.

The plants around the balcony provide you with fresh oxygen, as you're extremely comfortable wearing a pair of shorts along with one of Katsuki's skull shirts. It was your day off, and soon you'll have to have many more.

Taking a sip of your hot chocolate, you hum in satisfaction, the sweet flavor filling your taste buds as you hold the Dynamight mug in your hands. Even if you were both Pro Heroes, you loved to get Dynamight merchandise. It always amused you how your husband would blush like a tomato while scolding you when you buy a teddy bear wearing his hero costume, but you don't really care because you wanted to support him. And he felt the same way, obviously.

A warm smile grows on your face at the thought of your twins wearing Dynamight hero onesies and how adorable they would look in them. Your heart swells, already having thought of baby names and all of the things that cause one baby fever. You want chunky babies.

The smell of caramel and spice fills your nose, the scent of your husband lingering around the house even if he's out on patrol. You should probably go back inside before it gets too dark, but the scenery is just so pretty, with the soon to be autumn colors already spreading everywhere.

You sigh deeply, leaning your head back on the rocking chair as you place the mug of hot chocolate on the coffee table. Missy whines next to you, placing her tiny paw on your arm as a signal that she wants your attention. You smile towards the pomeranian, grabbing a warm, fluffy red blanket from the armchair as you place it on your lap and pat your knee.

The yellow dog barks in joy, hopping onto your lap while snuggling against your baby bump to keep you three warm. You smile, feeling your heart warm how animals are able to sense pregnancies. A hand rubs her head affectionately, as Missy's tail wags while she licks your hand, making you giggle at the feeling.

"I guess it's just you and me, huh?" You jest, to which the dog barks and nudges your bumb with your nose. You laugh, nodding your head as you put your feet up on the coffee table. "Oh right, and the babies too."

Speaking of babies, you haven't exactly told your husband that you're pregnant. Which makes you feel a bit bad since he sometimes tells you how he wants to have mini Katsuki's and mini Y/n's running around the house. Even if he doesn't seem like it, your husband secretly adores young children.

So, you want to surprise him with the pregnancy, but you're not sure how. Your Katsuki deserves the best. So you want to give him the best. But how would you give him that?

You frown slightly, feeling a twinge in your chest as you start to think over how you're going to surprise your husband. You can't hide it forever, but you don't want to mess up. Fingers clench around the mug a little bit tighter, putting it down as you sigh in defeat. You were always the overthinker.

Exhaustion starts to creep over you as you let out a yawn while stretching your limbs. Missy yawns back, curling more into your lap as your eyes start to flutter close. You'll think about it tomorrow.

The sky turns into an orange red hue, the sun nearly setting as the neighborhood lights switch on. It's beautiful, warm colors of autumn bringing you peace, as it's warm enough so you don't freeze outside. And just like that, you drift off to sleep, dreaming of the future family you and your husband will have.

An hour later, Katsuki arrives, kicking off his combat boots on the entry while taking a deep sigh. Work was a bit more busy than usual, as he had to help an old lady cross the street. The kind that take forever to move. His fans would definitely not shut up about this for a month.

Katsuki groans, his nose scrunching at the thought, but he feels relieved to finally be home after not being able to see you for a day. As he takes off his motorcycle helmet, the blonde quirks a brow, feeling confused as to why you haven't run down the halls to greet him home with his seven kisses.

Right now, your husband just wants to cuddle with you and watch a movie. And he can't do that if he doesn't know where you are. Taking off his hero mask, Katsuki places it on the side table, along with the keys, his gauntlets, and some chocolates he bought earlier for you both. "Baby! I'm home."

Normally, you would already be running into his arms when the door unlocks, but you're nowhere to be seen. His frowns at this, already taking off the parts of his hero suit while roaming around the living room in search of you. "Sunshine? Where are you?" No answer. "Honey? You home?" No answer again. He starts to panic a bit, about to run all over the house in search of you when he halts; hearing someone walk down the stairs.

At the sound of Katsuki's voice, small footsteps pat against the wooden floor, a small bark echoing through the halls as Missy comes to greet him, the pomeranian having left your lap as soon as she heard the door.

The spiky haired blonde smiles at the dog, crouching down onto his knees as the pomeranian jumps into his arms and licks his face. Katsuki laughs, caressing her soft fur as her tail wags and thumps against his arm happily.

"Hey, Missy. Y'know where mommy might be?" He whispers, chuckling when the dog tilts her head to the side, only licking his face in response. Katsuki smiles, pressing a kiss to the top of the pomeranians' head while letting her hop back onto the ground. Missy whines, nudging his leg forward before walking down the hallway and up the stairs.

Walking up the steps, he takes out his gloves, already having the jacket of his hero suit in his hand as he runs a hand through his spiky hair. Your husband follows the small dog, peeking through every room in case you were somewhere in there. He learned from experience that you're a master at hide and seek, as he almost had a panic attack when he couldn't find you when you were kids. But that's a story for another time.

Missy leads Katsuki into your bedroom, his tracks stopping when he sees the sight of you sleeping on the rocking chair outside on the balcony. It was a perfect view. The moon next to your sleeping form while the red trees and dim lights contrast against your beauty. His heart skips a beat, cherry red eyes immediately softening when he sees his love in a peaceful slumber.

Taking slow and quiet steps, Katsuki makes his way towards you, a lovesick smile appearing on his lips when he stands behind you, fixing the strands of your hair so they don't fall on your face. A content sigh falls from his lips, admiring your angelic figure as you coo in your sleep. His heart instantly melts at the small noise.

The blonde turns, crouching down to face you while effortlessly scooping you up in his arms, being careful not to wake you as he carries you bridal style into the bedroom. Katsuki places you on the bedroom, making sure to tuck you in the bedsheets and place a fluffy blanket over you.

Your husband furrows his eyebrows, his eyes widening in shock when he notices something on you- you didn't brush your teeth. You have a chocolate stain on the corner of your mouth. Katsuki huffs in disapproval, shaking his head once before pressing feather light kisses onto your face; one of his ways of waking you up.

You whine, knitting your eyebrows as your hand goes to smack whatever is disturbing your sleep. Your husband grunts, rubbing his face while having a small pout on his lips. Did you really have to smack him in your sleep? Your face becomes peaceful once again, only to be interrupted when a deep, soothing voice whispers to you. "Baby, c'mon, you gotta brush your teeth honey, then we can cuddle."

A sleepy smile grows on your lips, processing the fact that your husband has arrived and is right here with you. You hum, scooting closer to him as he sits on the edge of the bed, placing your legs on his lap while rubbing your knee affectionately.

You feel so glad that Katsuki's back from hero duties, yet you really don't feel like getting up. Because the mattress is just so comfy and the blankets are amazingly soft.

And as if Katsuki could read your thoughts, he does he sighs and rolls his eyes playfully, aggressively kicking off his hero suit as you giggle at his dramatic self. "Fine, fine. If you won't do it yourself, I'll do it for you. Ungrateful wife." He mutters, making a funny face while rolling his eyes. You giggle more, lightly kicking his rib as he scoffs dramatically in betrayal.

You wonder if the babies would take after his personality.

Katsuki huffs, reaching out to holds your hands in his, bringing them to his lips while pressing multiple kisses onto your skin. The action never fails to make your heart flutter, as he never seems to be the type, but Katsuki is a big hopeless romantic when it comes to you. Yet it never fails to make you smile when he shows you all of his affection.

Pressing one big last smooch onto your knuckle, Katsuki breathes through his nose, resting his forehead on the back of your hands as if it's a torture to part with you for a few moments. So dramatic, you think.

You hum in content, sleep still hazing over you as it makes you feel even more at peace when he's here with you. Your husband pats your knee, signaling that he's going to get up as he grabs your ankles and stands, placing your legs back onto the bed as he goes to take a shower.

Laying your head back on the silk pillows, you relish the softness of the mattress while subconsciously placing a hand on your stomach. A sigh leaves your lips, wondering how to tell the agency that you'll have to go on maternity leave and that you'll also have to tell your husband. Right now, you just want to enjoy the moment.

After about twenty minutes, Katsuki leaves the shower, muscles dripping with water as he wraps the towel around his slim waist. His usually spiky hair is a bit matted down but is still looking incredibly fluffy. You totally were not drooling over him the whole time. Never. That's absurd!

Suddenly, you had the energy to get up and go give your husband a kiss for being so incredibly handsome.

Getting up from your spot on the bed, you grunt, pushing yourself up as you wrap a blanket around your body and waddle towards your gorgeous husband. Katsuki is changing his clothes, about to put his shirt on when you wrap your arms around his waist and pepper kisses onto his chest. The blonde flinches in surprise, blood rushing up his face as he huffs and looks down at you through the hole of the shirt.

"Ya need something, hon?"

"Nah, I'm good."

Katsuki huffs out a laugh, feeling you cling onto him as he puts on his shirt with you under it. It's a funny but cute sight, as there's the outline of your body as he sort of looks pregnant. Which is funny because you're actually the pregnant one. You think.

Your husband rubs your lower back lovingly, his hand gliding down to your hip and drawing imaginary figures just how you like it, making you practically melt into putty. You sigh in content, your cheek squished against his chest as you cling onto him, needing to feel his warmth to make you feel better.

Katsuki smiles softly, opening the cabinet as he pokes your side playfully. "You're cute, but that won't change the fact that you need to brush your teeth."

Why must he always ruin the moment? Stupid husband.

After brushing your teeth, you finally climb back to bed, the balcony doors shut as the both of you cuddle into the soft, firm mattress; the both of you staring up at the ceiling while enjoying each others presence. Katsuki wraps his arms around you, nuzzling his nose into your cheek as you caress the scar on his right arm, your mind drifting off into the future, how you're going to have twins.

A smile grows on your face, making you feel giddy as you sway your feet and squeeze his arm that's curled around you. Katsuki notices this, shifting to his side as his cherry red irises having love in them as he looks at you. "What's got you so happy?" He jests, scooting closer to you while cupping your cheek, caressing the wrinkles around your eyes that make you smile so beautifully.

You giggle, turning on your side as your nose bumps with his, complete adoration in your expression as your hand goes to play with his fluffy locks. "I'm just happy to be with you." He huffs in response, his cheeks turning a bubblegum pink while leaning into your touch; as if being right up in your face wasn't enough for him.

"Stop it. Stop being adorable." He grumbles, feeling flustered when all you do is giggle and fawn over him. Katsuki groans, stuffing his face into your chest while nuzzling his face into your skin, the scent of your shampoo filling his nose as he clings onto you.

You smile happily, playing with his hair while giving him a scalp massage with your fingers, practically making him feel like he's in heaven. That is until Missy decides to hop onto your shared bed.

Katsuki deadpans, groaning in annoyance when you gasp and roll him off of your body, kicking him out of bed as he falls onto the cold floor with a thud. "Missy, baby!" You squeal, giggling as the pomeranian barks and happily climbs onto your lap, resting her chin on your belly while panting happily.

Your husband groans, laying face first on the floor as he feels a sense of betrayal on how quick you were to kick him off. The nerve. "Missy... why do you have to ruin the damn moment?" Katsuki deadpans, lifting himself off only to see you cuddling the yellow dog in your arms. Where the pomeranian is lying on his side of the bed.

The betrayal.

Your eyes flutter open in the morning, the tangerine rays shining through your windows as the birds chirp outside. You sigh, curling up against your husband's side as he holds you like a teddybear, practically suffocating you with his affection.

The moment is peaceful, with your yellow pomeranian laying on your lap with her chin resting on your belly, snoring a bit while kicking her foot in her sleep. A sleepy grin appears on your face, the peacefulness going away when you feel your stomach drop.

You were going to throw up.

Your eyes shoot open, throwing Katsuki's arm off of you, and moving Missy away as you scramble towards the bathroom, making sure to lock the door behind you.

Your knees drop to the floor, bending in front of the toilet as you gag, the vomit coming out of your stomach as tears brim your eyes. You've always hated this feeling.

While you were throwing up in the bathroom, Katsuki had already woken up by the emptiness of your warmth.

Your husband stirs awake, turning his head to the side and squinting to see that you're not on the bed, with Missy scratching her ear sleepily on your spot. He frowns, eyes widening when he hears your choked sobs coming from the bathroom.

Katsuki immediately gets up from the bed, striding towards the bathroom door only to find that it's locked. His eyes widen in worry, a pang in his chest when he hears the quiet sobs and muffled gags on the other side. "Princess? Hey, open up. Is everything okay?"

Your eyes snap open, body trembling in the slightest from the loss of fluids in your body. You pant, gripping onto the stool next to you for support as you flush the toilet; stumbling to go wash your mouth and hands in the process. It's a good thing your hair was tied up.

Your husband sighs in frustration, picking the lock as your eyes widen when he bursts in through the door. Katsuki stares at you in panic- quickly running towards your side and wrapping his arm around your waist as his hand holds yours tightly for stability.

"Fuck, honey, what the hell happened?"

Your heart clenches, feeling guilty for worrying your husband as you're upset about the pregnancy effects. Your head shakes, your lower lip, trembling as you don't want to talk at the moment. Katsuki frowns even more, helping you wash your mouth and face while letting you lean onto him for support.

"Baby, please, just tell me-" "I'm sorry."

Your husband stares at you in disbelief, seeing your lips wobble as you dig your nails into your palms, to which Katsuki immediately disapproves. His hand slips into yours, thumb rubbing over the lines of your palms while leaning back so you can rest your back on his chest.

You sigh deeply, your hand gliding his arm that's wrapped around your waist. Should you tell him? You can't hide it forever.

Katsuki's always been smart. And it's more than likely he'll find out if you keep brushing it off. But you wanted it to be so special. Tears brimm your eyes at the thought; already have planned out the perfect way to tell your husband that you're with child-no, his children.

With a breathy sigh, you swallow hard; the anxiety of the situation sinking in. You're about to tell him you're pregnant.

"Suki, can we go to the bedroom and talk?" Your voice is barely a whisper, a slight worry in your eyes that makes Katsuki start to grow nervous. He nods nonetheless, wrapping his arms under your thighs and carefully carrying you to your shared bed.

Your husband sets you down on his lap, his thumb rubbing your hip while his arm is wrapped around you. Katsuki nuzzles his nose into your cheek, worried crimson eyes staring at you as he waits for you to speak.

The silence fills the room, the growing anxiousness starting to creep into Katsuki as you turn your head to the side and tense up. The blonde gulps, starting to wonder if he did something wrong as he takes a shaky breath.

"If it's something I fucked up-" "I can't be a hero right now."

Your husband stiffens, and you visibly cringe at your bad choice of words. You cover your face with your hands, feeling even more guilty when you catch a glimpse of your husband's expression. Jaw dropped and trying to process what you just said.

Your husband stares at you in shock, and you blink at him, trying to muster up the courage of what you really meant. A heavy sigh leaves your lips, guiltily getting off his lap, and he lets you; only to plop back onto the bed and run a hand through his face.

Taking shaky steps towards your bedroom drawer, you grab a small gift box; the cover is yellow-orange with gold ribbons. You gulp, hands trembling in the slightest in anticipation as you walk back to the blonde splayed out on the bed; as if he was a sick victorian child needing a cure. Why does he always manage to be dramatic in every situation?

You stand next to the bed, carefully slipping the box into his hand before stepping back; wondering if you should run away or not.

Katsuki lifts up the box, giving you a look of confusion as you turn your back towards him, crossing your arms while standing in the corner of the room. The blonde squints, opening the box as you hear a small gasp from him. Yeah, the wall looks very interesting right now.

Tears swell in the blondes crimson eyes, sitting up on the bed while taking shaky breaths while staring down at the pregnancy test and two folded Dynamight baby onesies. Katsuki swallows back a sob; wide, hopeful eyes staring towards your back, almost begging you that this isn't some sick joke.

"You're actually pregnant?..."

Your shoulders tense, giving a shaky nod while covering your sobs with your hands, feeling a mixture of joy, nervousness, and relief that you finally told your beloved husband.

Katsuki wastes no time to make his way towards you, taking quick strides towards your figure as he wraps his arms around your hips and spins you around. Your breath hitches, seeing his gorgeous smile as his crimson eyes cry tears of joy, pupils dilated so much that his eyes look almost black.

A surprised yelp leaves your mouth as your strong husband picks you up, spinning you around carefully as you laugh and wrap your arms around his neck. The champagne-haired man laughs- genuinely while pressing multiple kisses all over your face.

"You're pregnant! You're actually pregnant, oh!- I've been trying for so long and- fuck! I can't believe I'm going to be a daddy!" Katsuki rambles, having a surge of extreme joy as you giggle when Missy starts to bark and jump onto her back legs in excitement. Your husband groans, burying his face into your neck while holding you tightly to him.

He sighs shakily, walking back towards the bed and plopping you down while hovering over you; his forehead resting against yours as his hand slips under the bottom of your shirt and rests on your tummy. "Thank you, thank you, I love you so fucking much it hurts-" He gasps out, making you smile with tears slipping down your cheeks. You laugh shakily, nodding to every word while cupping his face and wiping away the happy tears from his cherry red pearly eyes.

"I'm just happy that we're going to be a family." You whisper, making your husband chuckle and connect his lips with yours; the kiss loving and full of joy and emotion, as he expresses his gratitude into the kiss. Your fingers find their want into his fluffy locks, playing with his hair as he hums in satisfaction. It's perfect.

Missy hops onto the bed, making her way towards you both as she starts to lick Katsuki's face, making him scrunch up in disgust while pulling away from your mouth. You laugh as the blonde beefy man groans and wraps his arms around your waist while hiding his face in the side of your belly. "Missy, whhyyyy?" He whines out in annoyance, as the pomeranian only barks and starts to climb on top of him.

You smile, feeling blissful with your growing family as you ignore your husband's whines and complaints.

"Baby! Does this mean that I can have my army of mini Dynamights?"

"More like Dynamys with the way you're acting, hon."

Katsuki huffs in annoyance, nose scrunching up at the memory of the mini grenade in your high-school days. A giggle escapes your lips, hand rubbing his built back as he hums in content, finally at peace when Missy curls up on top of you both.

"You do realize we'll have to tell the agency about your maternatily leave, right? And that you'll have to let me smother and spoil you every day, right?" Your husband states, a prideful smirk on his face at the fact that he has the opportunity to be the malewife he secretly wants to be.

You snort, nodding your head as you smile and pat his head. "But that also means you'll have to work more for the both of us- and, you'll have to keep being a hero if-" Katsuki puts a finger on your lips, shushing you as he snuggles into your stomach.

"Don't talk right now. Just let me live my malewife dream, baby."

I finally got over my writer's block, but I want to keep improving on my writing! I hope this was good enough, and I want to write more scenarios like this!

I hope you liked this one, @real-hot-grl-shi !

[vaaaaaiolet]

It's the RPD's annual Secret Santa, and Leon's at his wit's end finding the perfect gift for his work crush. No competition, of course, except for the part where you make him promise not to bring something lame. Leon's got a week. He can do this. Right?

gn / m, fluff, romance, humor, leon is a SWEETHEART, you guys work at the RPD but you're leon's senior and also love reading??, no outbreak, inspired by the teapot episode of The Office lol, tw: claustrophobia

word count: 1.5k // read on ao3

a/n: vivi try not to mention christmas challenge go!!! @k1ssaphobe this one's for you <3 literally the ugliest effing banner i've ever made i'm SO SORRY but this completely destroyed my writer's block. i had so much fun <3

It’s all been downhill since Leon plucked your name out of a glass jar last week. Shit. Multiply that times three, rain down a couple red and green sprinkles for holiday spirit, and you have a great representation of how prepared Leon feels about being assigned the most crippling crush he’s had since high school for the RPD’s annual Secret Santa: you. 

Shit, indeed.

His hands shake like tremolo as he rereads your name printed on his little slip of paper, and Leon decides right then and there that the best way to go about this is to not go about it at all. Plain and simple. 

“Aren’t you excited?” you gush after your turn to draw from the jar. Poor you, you’d taken his jittery hands as enthusiasm. 

Leon grins tightly. “For sure, yeah, I um… I love Christmas. Really excited. You get who you wanted?” 

“Hey, no cheating. Not even with me, rookie.” You scrunch your face, clutching your paper to your chest. “Secret Santa’s secret. But it’s no secret that you’ve got to give it your all, so no lousy gifts allowed, got it?”

Well, there’s that plan gone. It’s back to police academy basics: Keep It Simple, Stupid. 

There’s nothing to overthink about making a good impression as the newest RPD recruit, Leon gaslights himself while haunting the Target holiday aisle on Monday night. You routinely save him from Irons’ infamous wrath, so it’s only natural that Leon spends all of Tuesday in a stupor at his desk, definitely not thinking of how he could never pay you back the favor with a silly Secret Santa gift. 

Wednesday rolls by and his coffee from yesterday sits in the break room, cold and overstirred next to today’s breakfast crumbs. How many times has Leon watched you sip tea at your desk? Five, six? 

Your eyes sparkle over the rim of your cup when he asks you about your weekend. Really, he doesn’t get the hate for small talk. There’s nothing small about the smile that bunches up your cheeks when he cracks a stupid joke about the weather, and more often than not, Leon finds himself waterboarding his notes app with the names of all the novels you drop mid-conversation so he can binge their Sparknotes over the weekend. So it goes, according to Kurt Vonnegut.

Ugh, he should have paid more attention in English. What the hell is an allegory anyway? Leon spends all of Thursday browsing your Goodreads profile and wracking his head over the hefty price tags attached to your TBR list. His wallet makes for a terrible wingman. 

But really, finding the perfect gift is no sweat at all. Leon is absolutely nonplussed (according to his 50th vocabulary-related Google search) when he steps into the RPD elevator on Friday morning with a clumsily wrapped, candy cane-striped bundle in his arms. 

“Hold it plea- Leon!”  

Liar, liar, pants on fire – he’s totally shitting his pants when you barely make it inside before the doors snap shut. 

“Thanks,” you gasp. 

Leon nods stiffly, his cheeks growing warm, and jams the second-floor button with his knuckle.

As the elevator starts its maddeningly slow climb, you hum, rocking back and forth in your snow boots. You’re cradling a package of your own, something four-cornered and fairly small. Leon, however, feels like he’s holding a bomb, the object of his affections standing less than three feet from his radius of destruction. How are you so carefree right now? You’ve probably got this gifting thing in the bag and he most definitely doesn’t. 

Leon can see everything unfold the moment he enters the office. You’ve had your gift planned months beforehand, his gift is going to be horrifically lame when you open it, everyone’s going to clap politely but you’re going to hate him forev-

And then the elevator plunges into pitch black.

“Oh my god!” 

Who screamed louder, Leon doesn’t want to find out.

The elevator shudders to a complete stop. Leon’s mental spiral of doom helpfully supplies him with an image of you two dangling in midair, suspended on wires. Maybe this is the universe saving him from delivering the worst Secret Santa gift of his life.

Leon blinks in the darkness, waiting for your unflappable voice to cut through the silence and figure a way out, headstrong as always, except you don’t, and Leon strains his ears to hear what’s surely not what he thinks it is, a whisper that sounds an awful lot like: “Leon, I don’t want to die.”

“What?”

“We’re gonna die,” you whimper. “I don’t wanna die.”

Your voice floats up from a lot lower than he remembers your head being, so he crouches down to find you with your arms hugged to your chest. You’re huddled against the wall, breathing all shallow. The package in your arms lies forgotten somewhere in the abyss.

“Hey, hey, nobody’s dying.” Leon reaches out to find your hand. “What’s the matter?”

“I have, cl-clau-”

“Claustrophobia?” He remembers that one well. Wishes he didn’t. 

You nod fitfully.

“The dark doesn’t help either, huh?” he whispers, craning his head to look at the busted bulb on the ceiling. “Damn.”

Your palm grows colder and clammier in his hand by the minute, and the shakiness in your breathing is starting to worry him. Your head pops above your knees when you hear rustling in the shadows, and then the telltale Christmastime cacophony of wrapping paper being torn to shreds. 

“What are you…?”

“Being resourceful,” Leon grits, tearing his Secret Santa gift open. He fumbles with its contents for a second, slipping something into a plastic compartment. “It’s not the best, but…”

The elevator blooms with soft, golden light.

“...it’ll do.”

“What’s this?” you murmur in awe, cupping your hands around the tiny book light Leon holds. 

“My Secret Santa gift,” he chuckles sheepishly. “I kind of, um, blanked. I’m also really bad at giving gifts, so there’s also this,” he says, pulling out a mug from the heap of trashed wrapping paper.

When I Think About Books, I Touch My Shelf, it announces with impunity. 

Leon blushes when you giggle at the inscription. Things always look better online than in person, rookie mistake. But at least you’re breathing better now. 

“This is amazing,” you laugh, cradling the cup like there’s warmth inside. 

“Not so amazing now that I’ve opened all the packaging.”

“Your Secret Santa won’t mind at all, trust me, not with a gift like this- ‘touch my shelf’, you’re unbelievable! Tell me where you got it.”

He shakes his head. 

“Leon Scott Kennedy, if you don’t stop gatekeeping this incredible mug and this super useful book light, by the way, I’m going to tell Irons you spilled coffee all over his desk. I can be very convincing, y’know.” You cross your arms decidedly, waiting. 

“There’s no need for all that!” he protests. 

“That was a promise, Leon, not a threat.”

“C’mon, be reasonable here.”

“You’re still not telling me.” 

“It’s for you, silly.” Leon tilts his head, face heating up faster than the book light bulb, “You’re my Secret Santa.” 

He must be hallucinating the pink in your cheeks.

“Oh,” you breathe. 

“Yes, oh,” Leon teases, scooching to sit next to you. “I couldn’t think of anything,” he confesses, “so I just went with the basics. I know you read and I know you really miss your old tea mug, the one that broke, right? You’re my gifting competition and I got nervy from how sure you were about your person’s gift. So, um, I played safe.” Leon finishes lamely and squeezes his eyes shut, hoping the light doesn’t also illuminate the shame radiating from his body. 

And then he feels the press of an unbelievably soft kiss on his cheek.  

“It’s much better than what I’ve got,” he hears. 

His eyes fly open. Words don’t form right in his throat when you reach out for the package you dropped when the lights went out. Wrapping paper falls apart neatly in your hands (what don’t you do perfectly?) and you unveil a mini waffle iron, proportioned perfectly for somebody always running late without breakfast. Somebody like Leon.

“You keep missing breakfast and Irons is on my ass about saving you food all the time, so I guess took the practical route too,” you shuffle your feet, bashful all of a sudden. “And um, my gift’s kind of useless if we never make it out. Sorry.”

He fingers the tag in wonder. 

Merry Christmas, Leon! There’s a timer so you don’t burn them :) xoxo, your Secret Santa!

You’re so goddamn sweet. You’re perfect and thoughtful and it’s all your fault that Leon didn’t have the faintest clue what to give you. Think, Leon, think. He knows he’s not this stupid. What do you give to somebody who has everything? 

A kiss. One that’s all smiles and just as sweet as the way you kiss him back, because screw Secret Santa.

It’s hard to keep secrets when you’re Leon’s favorite one.

psst, find more of my work here!

comments and reblogs are very much appreciated <3 take care and i love you!

[peachesofteal]

Through Me (The Flood) - secret baby fic Simon Riley / female reader requested by multiple: doctor visit

The pediatrician's office is very bright.

Bright walls, bright furniture, bright toys. The hallway is painted a bright blue, dotted with wispy, spongey clouds, spiraling in patterns from floor to ceiling.

The exam room is not much better. It's yellow. Supposed to be soothing, you tell him. It's anything but.

The bright colors unsettle him, but he shoves it down. Swallows the gnawing anxiety brewing in the back of his mind, forces away the spiral attempting to swallow him whole. He falls back on what gives him comfort, what allows him to sleep at night, what makes him feel whole. The only one who doesn't make him feel torn to shreds. The one who can touch his bare skin without making him shake. You.

You're nervous too. It started when you got the baby undressed, and has only gone downhill from there. He can see it in the way you pace back and forth in the room, holding Ry to your chest, bouncing him, rubbing his back. There's dread scrawled into your expression, grim unease radiating from your bones.

"C'mere mama." He reaches, pulling your forearm and tugging you close, resting his chin on top of your head. You relax, but barely. "Everything's going to be alright."

"He hates shots."

"He's a baby, course he does. Can't blame 'im. Huh bub?" He strokes Orion's chubby and round cheek, tilting his head to press a kiss to your temple.

Someone knocks on the door, and it creaks open.

"Hi!" A young woman in a white coat smiles at them, giving Simon an odd look before stepping forward. He swallows the acid burning the back of his throat.

"Hey, Dr. Marsh." You greet weakly, face pinched. She says hello, and washes her hands, keeping a stream of chatter until she's seated on a rolling stool with an iPad in her hand.

"How's our big man?"

"Still big." You quip drily, and she laughs, glancing up at Simon. You look at him too, and then your mouth drops into a little o. "Sorry, this is Simon. Orion's dad." She stands, extends her hand. He takes it, careful to not squeeze too tight before letting go and hanging his own rigidly by his side, tense, like he's priming for a fight of some kind.

"I guess we know where he gets his size from." Fingers tap across the screen, and then she sets it on the examination table. "So, how is it going?"

"Fine, good, I think. He's still feeding every three hours. I feel like he's gained ten pounds since our last visit." She nods. "I've been trying to pump as much as I can but... there's just... not as much."

"That can happen. If you're still happy with breastfeeding, I don't have any concerns. Of course, if you want to stop, that's more than okay. As long as he's getting what he needs, there's no wrong way to feed him." You nod, rubbing his back. Dr. Marsh asks about any other concerns, and after you say you have none, she reaches for him. "Let's see if our guy is still a ninety nine percenter, huh?" Simon frowns.

"Ninety nine percenter?"

"He's uh, in the ninety nine percentile. Very big."

"Very big, and very tall." Dr. Marsh says from over her shoulder, where she's now got Orion on the baby scale. "Born at what mum, four and a half kilograms?" Simon blanches. Bloody hell. You haven't really told him too much about the birth, and he hasn't pushed you on it. Maybe this is why. You don't have a c-section scar, and he winces thinking about you giving birth, naturally. He should have been there. Should have held your hand, told you how amazing you were. How strong. The familiar feeling of regret resurfaces, and he gives you an apologetic look. You shrug with a little smile.

"He looked like a giant in the nursery, next to all the... regular sized babies." Dr. Marsh laughs, but Simon grimaces. Guilt settles in his stomach like a rock.

"Sorry, mama." He apologizes sheepishly, squeezing your hand, and you rub your thumb over his knuckles.

"It's okay, I kinda," your eyes sweep over him from head to toe, "expected it."

"Alright, so," Dr. Marsh brings Ry back over, handing him to you, but Simon intervenes, pulling him into his arms. He worries about your back. She smiles again, types something into the tablet, and then clears her throat, "growth is slowing down."

"Is that bad?" You sound alarmed, and she shakes her head.

"Not bad, considering he's been outperforming in height and weight since he was born. This happens, it's normal, there's nothing to worry about. However, he's still in the nineties. Just shy of eight kilograms."

"What's normal?" He's curious now, wondering how big his son is really, compared to others. He'd even feel proud, if he wasn't worried about the trauma having him may have caused you.

"Fiftieth percentile is around six. Now," she rests her hands on her thighs, and levels a serious look at you. "How are you? Sleep getting any better? Are you keeping up on hydration?" Simon peeks down at you, lips tugged into a firm line.

"He still feeds every three hours, and I'm the source so... not really."

"Any more dizzy spells?" What? His head snaps your direction. Orion gurgles, and he pats his back absentmindedly. Dizzy spells? Why haven't you said anything?

"Uh, not really. Maybe a few."

"Breastfeeding can take a lot out of you. It uses a lot of metabolic energy, so try to make sure you're eating enough and drinking a lot of water. It's normal to feel exhausted or fatigued, but taking care of your nutritional needs will go a long way. I know I sound like a broken record but, I think it will help. You might also try talking to your OB, since you know... I'm only a little human doctor." You swallow.

"Okay." She gives you a serious look, and you nod.

"Alright then, let's move on to everyone's favorite part."

He holds Orion for the entirety of the rest of the visit. He squirms and screams as he gets his shots, crying at the top of his lungs, and Simon closes his eyes at one point to take a deep breath. He's okay. He's safe. They're both safe. They're here.

You take him afterward, lips to the top of his head, eyes closed as you whisper. "Shhh, I know baby, I know. It's over now. All done. You were so brave." Simon's heart aches. It hurts to know you're struggling, that you see yourself as a failure, when it's so blatant that you're anything but. He's going to fix that.

You stop at the reception desk, lingering until the girl behind it gets off the phone. "Um, can we update Orion's emergency contact list? I want his dad to be on there, too." Simon looks down at you, momentarily dumbstruck. Sweet, sweet girl. Sweet little kitten. The receptionist smiles brightly, taking the information he provides, phone number, back up phone number (work cell) and his name.

The two of you head towards the elevator, and you give him a hesitant look as you step inside. "You don't mind right? I didn't want to overstep but... you're his parent too, I thought you might want to be-" You don't get to finish before he's swooping down with a hand at the small of your back and another on the baby's head, slamming his lips to yours so fiercely your breath hitches.

"Mama," he kisses your forehead, and then cups your chin. "You and Orion are my family now. You're it for me, and I'm chuffed you'd think to put me down as an emergency contact." You jerk back at his words, eyes wide. Too much? Too soon? Too strong? He doesn't care. He needs to start easing you into it, getting you used to the new reality, before he's moving you and the baby out of your flat and giving you a new last name.

"Simon." You whisper, but he shakes his head.

"I told you. I wanted you the night we made him, and I still do. You're everything. You're mine. You and our boy." You don't say anything, and the silence kills him until you reach for his hand, interlacing your fingers with his. "An' we're going to have a talk about you getting dizzy and not saying anything to me. Alright?" You gulp.

"Alright."

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

The Cantaloupe (The Surprise, Part 24)

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: hospital times, surgery, pregnancy times, some scary medical stuff, blood, unresolved ending (I promise there's a happy ending just... not in this chapter), explicit language (let me know if I've missed anything) Word count: 2.1k

Summary: Early labor has kicked in again. Only, this time, there's no reversing it.

Week 34: The Cantaloupe

“Emily!” you yelled from the bathroom, gripping at the edge of the counter next to you. A contraction rolled through your body, and by its intensity and length you felt sure you’d been having them for a while. Why hadn’t you woken up!? You’d only gotten up to pee and been shocked by the full flood of liquid that spilled out of you. It was your water breaking. The contraction had followed.

For her part, Emily launched herself into the bathroom so quickly she almost fell, blinking, pantsless, leaning against the doorframe. It was 3:00 AM.

“You alright?” she groaned, trying to wake up fully. “What’s wrong?”

Sweat beaded at the back of your neck, and you felt well and truly panicked. It was still way too early to be having the baby. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, and you were dangerously close to hyperventilating.

“M-my water broke,” you said, your voice quiet and shaky as you started to rock back and forth. “And I’m having contractions.” Your voice caught in your throat. “Em,” you choked out. “It’s still too early…”

Emily was fully awake now, surging toward you and bending to hold your face in her hands. “Hey, shh, it’s okay,” she said, using her thumbs to wipe tears from under your eyes. Her own eyes were wide, and you knew she was scared, too, that she was putting on a brave face for you, and you loved her desperately for it.

“It’s gonna be okay. I’m gonna grab you some clothes, alright? And get dressed. And we’ll go to the hospital.” She opened the cabinets and looked for a pad for you to wear.

You were so short of breath you felt like you might faint, like you might throw up. “Em, she’s too small!” you cried. “What if I lose her!?”

“Y/N,” Emily soothed, kneeling in front of you and pulling you into her embrace. “You’re okay, honey. The baby will be alright. But right now I need you to breathe. Can you do that for me?”

You could feel the rise and fall of Emily’s chest and tried hard to match your breath to hers. Once you’d calmed down a bit, Emily lifted your head and kissed you quickly. She nodded at you, as if to confirm that you’d be okay if she left you for a moment. You nodded back, sniffling.

She patted your thigh, then quickly exited the room. When she came back, she had on a tank top and sweatpants. She handed you a stack of clothes before holding up one of her button-up work shirts to you.

“You think it’ll be cold at the hospital?” she asked, trying to get you out of your head.

You shrugged, pulling on your sports bra. “It was last time.”

She nodded and pulled on the shirt, letting it hang loose and unbuttoned around her as she knelt to help you with your sweatpants. You had a hard time getting your feet through the leg holes these days.

You stood slowly, cautiously, letting Emily slip your Birkenstocks onto your feet. When she stood, you just looked at each other for a moment and, before you could even really register what you were doing, you’d thrown your arms around Emily, pressing your face into her chest and hugging her as hard as you could. You felt her arms snake around you, her fingers press into your back, into the skin at your neck, her breath by your ear.

“You ready?” Emily whispered, pulling back to look at you. You nodded, and she squeezed your hand, leading you down to the car.

“Should we bring the hospital bag?” you thought out loud.

Emily locked the apartment door behind you, whispering, “I’ve had it in the car since last time.”

You felt a brief, lovely moment of calm looking at your wife. Strong, beautiful Em who took such good care of you. You leaned forward in the elevator to place a quick kiss on her cheek.

She furrowed her eyebrows, but smiled at you, her eyes still sleepy. “What was that for?”

You shrugged. “I just love you.”

You were both quiet in the car. Emily drove as quickly as she could without sirens and lights at her disposal. You’d tried the radio, but found it just made you more nervous. You gripped the center console when another contraction rocked you. Emily replaced it with her hand, concerned eyes shifting between you and the road.

At the hospital, she quickly found you a wheelchair and, as usual when she was anxious for you, raised all kinds of hell until you were safely in a room with a doctor. Emily sat next to you, leg bouncing, as the doctor ran an ultrasound wand over your belly.

“Hmm,” he said, eyebrows furrowed.

You and Emily shared a concerned glance.

He breathed out heavily before removing his glasses and looking at you. “Ms. Y/L/N, there’s no need for alarm yet, but your baby’s heartbeat does sound irregular.”

You felt like crying again and reached out to grasp Emily’s hand.

“There could be any number of causes, but I think it’s gonna be in baby’s best interest that we get him out of there as soon as possible, okay?”

“But she’s… she’s alive?” you squeaked out.

“Yes, ma’am.” He swiveled his stool around and looked at your charts. “Alright, Dr. Delgado has been alerted to the situation and she’s on her way. Right now, a few of our nurses are gonna get you prepped for a c-section.”

Yours and Emily’s voices overlapped one another. “Wait, wait! A c-section!?”

“They’re very common, very safe,” the doctor reassured you. “A vaginal birth isn’t an option here. We don’t know what’s causing baby’s heartbeat to stutter, and you're far enough away from your due date that he’s still breech.”

“Well, can I… can I stay awake?” you asked.

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am. We’ll apply a local anesthetic to your lower spine.”

“Okay,” you conceded, trying not to look too terrified.

When he left the room, you turned to Emily, and even she was looking a little pale. She brushed a strand of hair out of your face, watching you with worried eyes.

You shivered a bit, nerves coursing through you. “You ready to meet her?” you asked, trying to focus on the one good thing to come from all of this.

A smile flashed across Emily’s face and she kissed you quickly. “So ready. God, I hope he’s got your nose.”

What felt like mere minutes later, you were being wheeled to an operating room. Emily held your hand, all dressed up like a doctor with a gauze gown and hair net and mask. You were just glad they were letting her go in with you. You didn’t think you could do it alone.

Dr. Delgado was waiting for you in the OR, and you’d never been so relieved to see a doctor in your life. This whole evening had been one unexpected and terrifying thing after another, so to see her in here made you feel much safer.

They hooked you up to several machines and hung a little curtain just under your chest so you (and Emily) wouldn’t see the blood and freak out. They rolled a stool over for Emily, and she perched next to you, one hand holding yours, the other running comfortingly through your hair.

It was hard to believe, hard to imagine that everything you’d worked toward for the last eight months, everything you’d put your body through, everything you’d hoped for, longed for–it was here. It was time. It had all led up to this.

The OR nurses helped Dr. Delgado into her gloves, and she turned then to you and Emily.

“Well, ladies. You ready for this?”

You looked at one another and nodded.

“More than likely, the baby will be just fine,” she said, as the other doctors and nurses prepped the surgical site. You’d never been more thankful for anesthesia. “But there’s also a good chance that he’ll need some time in the NICU. We may have to whisk him away pretty quick if he needs immediate attention. This does not necessarily mean that something is really wrong. But if you’d like to accompany the baby, Emily, you’re welcome to.”

Emily looked at you, as if for permission. You squeezed her hand and nodded. “Go with the baby, honey. I’ll be okay.”

“Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll keep him safe, I promise.”

“I know you will,” you whispered, looking deep into her eyes. And for neither the first time nor the last time you were struck with the thought that there was no one in the world, and never had been, that you loved more than Emily.

“Alright,” Dr. Delgado said to her team. “Let’s get in there.”

You could feel a vague sense of pressure against your skin sometimes but it was, otherwise, almost boring. Emily’s foot tapped incessantly, as it always did when she was anxious.

“I really want to see what’s going on over there,” she whispered to you, about fifteen minutes into the procedure, craning her neck slightly.

You gripped her hand and pulled her back to you. “No!” you protested. “So help me god, if you faint while I’m having our baby I will never forgive you.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not gonna faint. I’ve seen plenty of blood. Lots of bodies cut open.”

You grimaced. “Okay, well, you haven’t seen me cut open. Might feel a little different.”

She shrugged and nodded. “You’re probably right.” You winced and she furrowed her eyebrows at you. “You okay?”

You nodded, shutting your eyes for a moment. “Just dizzy.”

Emily ran her thumb back and forth over your eyebrows, just watching you, trying not to worry about you or the baby.

“Oh,” one of the doctors exclaimed. “That’s a lot of blood.”

Emily shot up, holding your hand tightly.

“Shit,” Dr. Delgado mumbled. “We’ve got a placental abruption.”

Various alarms started going off, and you glanced around, alarmed, trying to crane your neck to see what was going on. But your vision was swimming. You felt almost nauseated. You found it hard to focus, hard to keep your eyes open.

“Alright, baby’s out,” one of the doctors called.

Emily watched your eyelids flutter shut. “Honey,” she called, patting the side of your face, her voice growing more and more worried. “Baby, stay with me.

When she could no longer get you to open your eyes, she yelled, “Hey, something’s wrong here!” 

“Mom’s lost a lot of blood,” a doctor called.

“Where is it coming from!?”

“We’re losing her!”

Dr. Delgado’s voice rang out above everyone else’s: “Get the other mom out of here! Emily, go!”

Emily felt panic rise inside her, icy and burning, as she watched you with wide eyes, pleading with you to wake up. “Come on, Y/N, come on,” she mumbled, her face inches from yours, tears brimming in her eyes. “Don’t fucking quit on me, honey. Don’t you fucking quit.”

“Baby’s not breathing!”

“Take her to the NICU!” Dr. Delgado ordered. “And get other mom out! Emily, you need to leave so I can save your wife’s life. Okay? Somebody page general!”

Emily felt like her world was falling apart, like everything she’d worked so hard to build, everything she held dear, was breaking in front of her. A nurse grasped her arm and pulled her toward the door, and she locked eyes with Dr. Delgado once more.

“I’ll do everything I can, Emily,” she assured her. “Now get out. Stay with your daughter. She needs you.”

Emily took one last look at you, at your body, bloody and splayed on the operating table. You were right. It was different when it was you. Then she took a shaky breath and stepped into the hallway, racing after the tiny crib cart that had emerged just moments before her.

“Hey!” she called after them, catching up to lay a hand on the edge of the crib. Her breath caught in her throat as she looked at the baby. So tiny. So beautiful, even all scrunched up. Even as one of the doctors pressed air into her lungs. Emily felt a tear drip down her cheek.

A girl. Her girl. Her girl with her mama’s nose. Emily sniffed and wiped her face as they all clambered into the elevator, heading up to the NICU floor. She slipped her pinky finger into her daughter’s tiny, warm hand and let out a shaky breath.

“It’s okay, ma fifille,” she cooed, voice breaking. “I’m right here. Mommy’s here.”