#i've been procrastinating on doing this for... *checks* over three months.

[itsbenedict]

it's one of those posts that needs to be sung.

lyrics (@syrena-of-the-lake 's lyrics plus a few verses of my own to fill in the blanks):

It’s nine o’clock on a work night And to my so-familiar chagrin There’s a crack-of-dawn shift I’ve been scheduled for So I guess it’s ‘bout time to turn in - But the foam in my mattress ain’t memory There’s an issue that blocks my repose ‘Cause it’s real hard to sleep when you can’t hear a peep Over ballads your bed done composed - La, la-la, di-di-da La-la di-di-da da-dum - Sing us a song, you’re the pianobed Both a bed and piano upright Now you’re trapped in this mattress and melody While Tumblr all laughs at your plight - Now Mozart and Bach, they are friends of mine And Brahms with his sweet lullaby But when my bed folds up tight in the dead of the night I can’t sleep however I try - I say “Wolfgang, Johannes and Johann, I respect all your great symphonies But I can’t get much sleep with concertos Being played on my head and my knees” - Oh, la, la-la, di-di-da La-la di-di-da da-dum - The doctor says I need eight hours of sleep This is takin’ those years off my life And my spine needs a potion from the open-close motions That’re treating it like a jackknife - And the torture, it’s got an accomp’niment Not enough that it’s breaking my bones While I’m mashed in the covers, it’s playing a cover This bed likes the works of Tom Jones - [A familiar ditty is sung over the solo.] - Sing us a song, you’re the pianobed Both a bed and piano upright Now you’re trapped in this mattress and melody While Tumblr all laughs at your plight - They let me sleep in on a Saturday At least every once in a while And when it gets out of tune, I can sleep until noon A slumbering musicophile - Then the piano snaps shut, a crescendo And the chords all resound in my ear And it’s goodbye bedtime, and hello three-four time And move over, Beethoven is here. - Oh, la, la-la, di-di-da La-la di-di-da da-dum - Play us a song, you’re the pianobed I’ll be stuck in your mattress all night So I may as well sing to your melody While Tumblr all laughs at my plight

[karaoke source]

[misc-obeyme]

OKAY I'M WRITING THIS ON THE BUS TO WORK I'VE GOT 40 MINUTES AND PRAYING NO ONE LOOKS OVER MY SHOULDER.

Hello it's been over a month since the last part 😭 I've lost the groove. But uhh remember how I said Dia is a sponsor for the tour? He definitely ropes Belphie into attending some shows for promo pics. Belphie is going to attend the very first concert stop that night (there's maybe like four before the show in their city or something)

I'm thinking Lucifer is checking in on Mammon when I burst into the shop, running late but still making a stop for breakfast. Mammon slides my order towards me, waving his hand when I try to pay. Cue me glaring at him and stuffing a $20 bill in his tip jar BECAUSE HE CAN'T KEEP TRYING TO GIVE SOLOMON AND I FREE FOOD.

And he scoffs because I know I don't carry cash, BUT NOW I HAVE TO BC I GOTTA TO PAY HIM !! SIR !! YOU'LL GO OUT OF BUSINESS !! Lucifer is watching this all with a raised eyebrow. (He definitely makes his family pay. Luke is the only other one to get free stuff.)

anyway when I'm reaching for my drink he grabs my wrist impulsively because he notices I'm wearing new bracelets ??

"The hell are these?"

"I made them for my concert! Y'know, the one I keep talking about? Where I didn't come for a while because I had no money? It's in a couple days !!"

of course he knows about the concert. he knows about it, but Solomon and him kept forgetting the exact date. He also forgot to ask beg Lucifer to ask Dia for tickets.

"Why're ya making bracelets?" At the same time Lucifer asks "Concert? What concert?" because he did NOT know I was attending. He was actually planning to stop by after finishing checking on Mammon to present me with tickets.

"Fall Out Boy! My favorite band ever? The one I'm always playing in the shop? They're coming here! And I bought tickets so long ago and I'm so excited because it's my first concert and they're my favorite band ever and *wheezes for air* AND I GOT FLOOR SEATS TOO AND THEY'RE LIKE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE AND I CAN'T WAIT AND TO TRADE BRACELETS- ohmygod I'm even more late now okay bye guys!"

And Lucifer is kinda sitting there shocked. He doesn't know why he didn't expect me to buy tickets. Now he must recalculate.

"Hey Lucifer..." With the tone he used to use when he wanted to borrow money before starting the cafe. "I'm not bailing you out of bankruptcy for giving away food to your crushes." "C-CRUSHES? W-WHA? WHO SAID THAT, I AIN'T SAY NOTHIN LIKE THAT-" "Mammon." "Damn it, Lucifer, that ain't what I was gonna ask! I was gonna ask... Diavolo's sponsoring this thing, ain't he?" "And what of it if he is?" "...Ya think he has two extra tickets? I'll pay for 'em no problem. I just don't want her going alone, ya know?"

And Lucifer stares at him for a long time. So long Mammon is getting nervous, wringing a rag in his hands. And it clicks for Lucifer how he'll save this.

"Find out what seat she's purchased and let me know. I'll ask Diavolo and see what I can do. No promises, Mammon."

And Mammon practically beams while letting out a big breath. He nods enthusiastically and texts Solomon 'I need to find out what seat that ticket she bought is' to not forget, because he knows he'll be texting Solomon later anyway and will see the last message he sent, so he's sure to not forget. Foolproof plan.

"You need just two tickets, or three seats together?"

"...Three seats together. I said two tickets because she already has one, don't she? One for me, one for Solomon."

"Interesting. I'll let you know."

"Eh?! What is that supposed to mean?!"

okay uhh next part is gonna have beel and belphie i think at the cafe visiting mammon!! im happy to be writing this again. I did make bracelets when I attended this concert but I only made twenty the night before 😭 I had procrastinated so long and debated because I was too afraid of going up to people to hand them out. But I did get to trade !! I still have all the one's I got.

Um umm I had other things to say I'm forgetting. I looked up from my phone and panicked because I thought I missed my stop o(-( nah it was just construction making everything unrecognizable

have i named my mc before? i can't remember. i just keep avoiding using her name akwkwjd oops

OKAY BYE HAVE A GOOD DAY, MANAGED TO FINISH THIS BEFORE GETTING TO MY STOP

- ✨

MC NAME REVEAL, READY GO~

LOL but seriously, I have not heard her name and now I wish to know it! I know YOUR name of course, since I have stalked your blog a bit since you came off anon~ ah sorry if that's creepy~

But anyway!!

Lucifer to the rescue!!! What a guy, he's so nice in this story but still totally himself I love it~

Mammon giving away food to his crushes ;asldkfjdf and OF COURSE the only other one who gets free food is Luke that's so cuuuuuute!

I also LOVE the detail of Mammon texting Solomon something so that he'll remember it. It tells us so much about Mammon (ADHD lol), but it also speaks volumes about his relationship with Solomon at this point, too. Because if you know you're going to be texting someone that often, then they must be pretty important to you. And also you must feel comfortable with them if you're texting them little reminders for yourself. I just think this is a really cute detail~

Anyway, as always, I'm here for this sweet story!!

[anattemptatmeaning]

Meredith: First Time Caller, Long Time Listener - Chapter Three: Crystal Clear

Author's Notes (potential spoilers): My home internet is really slow, hence why this post may look a bit rough (I also stayed up til 4AM finishing and posting this on AO3 lol) and a lot of things have been going on in my personal life but I'm proud to post the third chapter of my humble story! Especially proud, considering that I'm absolutely PATHETIC with procrastination and anxiety, so being able to consistently write three chapters on something I've been working at really means a lot to me. And I got to live out my childhood fantasy of secret passageways in a Bad Times at the El Royale/Barbarian-style sequence. Definitely a two-for-one.

Chapter Theme Song: One Way or Another - Blondie (I find it really funny in the context of this chapter, it matches the dark humor of an OC you'll meet in later chapters)

Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4GV9rbpFrebDNkG3J1GGcu

Trigger Warnings: This chapter contains some graphic violence, mainly near the end, but there's slight references to it around the midway point.

Tags: @nocturnest @blingblingsparklesparkle @brittklein18 @luluartpop

Word Count: approx. 2,828

Three: Crystal Clear

The landing in Minneapolis was smooth.

Tangerine got through security with minimal effort, owing to his experience in the business and strings pulled with money to spare. The private jet used for his businessman cover, one of his favorites and most convenient, didn’t hurt.

He texted Lemon to put the bastard at ease.

🍊: Landed safe

🍋: In the belly of the beast now mate

🍊: Fuck off, all I need to do is kill one sodding cop and take a picture of him and send it to some bird

🍋: If any one person recognizes you you’re public enemy number one

🍊: Could say that about any of the other places we’ve been

🍋: Not Meredith.

Tangerine had to take a large seething breath at that point. He tried convincing himself it was just anger as always. 

🍊: Didn’t we agree never to mention that place out loud ever again?

🍋: No, we didn’t, we just stopped talking about it

🍊: Yeah well same fucking principle alright? I landed, I’m ready to do the job, that’s it, why the fuck are you acting like this?

🍋: I still don’t think you should’ve taken that job. I was already on one anyways from the fucking White Death and with where it’s looking, we won’t need one for months

🍊: We’ve already fucking discussed this

🍋: Just finish it and get home ASAP

Tangerine was about to get into another row over Lemon’s hypocrisy when he was the one trying to do his job without a complaint, but got his shit together before he could get even more sidetracked.

He checked into his hotel and went straight to unpacking. As he began hanging his suits, he realized he could not stop thinking back to his client.

She was indeed unusual. He appreciated the promptness and it was certainly a lucrative offer, but it was rare that he would get paid such a high amount, and he was usually sent after the higher-ups. Crime bosses, crooked politicians, and the like. But one measly corrupt cop? If it wasn’t for the curiously high price, arguably below his pay grade.

And it just so happened to coincide with one of the very few jobs that separated the Twins.

Tangerine pulled out his phone and scrolled to find the contact of his client, and began typing.

🍊: Oi, just to clarify, you said three million?

He gets a reply almost immediately.

🔲: Yes. 

🍊: I’m not gonna deny it’s a pretty penny, but how do you have that much, and why me, why this?

🔲: I didn’t want to bother with details. I did say it was personal. But since you asked, revenge. For my family. We’ve got quite a bit of money, and my dad left me a hefty sum in his will. I’m using the bulk of it to pay you. If the job gets finished, of course. 

The response was reasonable if irritating. He was a fucking professional for Christ’s sakes. 

And revenge was annoyingly common in his world, one of the most frequent reasons for people like him to be hired in the first place. It was all a bloody soap opera at this point. 

Tangerine prided himself on being the type not to ask questions, but skepticism won out.

🍊: Hold your horses, who do you think I am? I’m doing your dirty work for you, and I’m gonna be expecting that three mil when I get that photo.

🔲: I genuinely find that ironic. And once again? You did ask. But I think that’s quite enough chatter for a man of your…occupation, isn’t it?

Judging by what he heard of her voice, she was older than him, but came off as a pretentious fucking brat in these messages. Avoiding her bait, Tangerine turned off his phone and got to work, hacking into databases and digging up shit on Officer Geoffrey.

Officer Geoffrey was a madman. 

And he was no cop. He was Black Stone.

Black Stone had been an independent operator for quite some time, and profusely refused to work with any other, not even an agency or a handler. Quite rude too, even considering Tangerine. He flipped from being curtly professional to raving lunatic, constantly giving everyone else in the business a fucking earworm. He was also on the older, washed-up side, looking more like an alcoholic father than a threat.

Tangerine never liked Black Stone. Neither would he admit it, but he was surprisingly a rather prolific contractor, despite being in his line of work for far less time. 

It pissed him off to no end. His ruthlessness matched his reckless abandon, but there was a clear pattern to his victims: they all had committed serious misdeeds, from Blackwater affiliates who had fired on civilians to human trafficking ring leaders. 

Not that it undeterred Tangerine’s opinions of him. Self-righteousness annoyed the hell out of him, and there were plenty of “deserving” folks walking around all over the world at the end of the day. 

Besides, the Twins had worked with Blackwater several times amongst everything they had done throughout their rise to infamy. They hadn’t perished to the great Black Stone. 

Anyways, his methods were as unpredictable as he was angry. Sometimes he’d shoot a prick through their fucking ears. Other times he’d lead a whole gang into a fucking forest and burn it all down. 

Tangerine was understanding a lot more why he was being paid so much. The cop shit had to have been a cover for Black Stone’s antics, and someone had been pissed off just enough. Unsurprising. 

Well, then.

—

Tangerine tailed Officer Geoffrey’s patrol vehicle in a rental car.

He had been intercepting his field operations. Luckily for Tangerine, it wound up as a fairly mundane day. Black Stone was simply monitoring the city while writing the occasional traffic ticket. 

At some point, Geoffrey began to drive out of the Central District. Tangerine followed close behind in a rental car, occasionally darting around different roads to maintain an unsuspicious distance. 

They crossed the Wabasha Street Bridge onto the southern areas of the city. By now, Geoffrey hadn’t done anything besides driving, not even using his radio. Tangerine decided to kill him wherever he stopped. 

Eventually, Geoffrey slowed down and parked. The GPS revealed their location to be in Sunfish Lake, which looked to be a rural village with few houses around. Perfect. Tangerine pulled over just one turn away. He drove a slight distance down a wooded path before killing the engine. 

Tangerine trailed Geoffrey and quickly caught up to within a short distance of him, walking along the road and taking cover among the trees as needed. Minutes later, a multi-story house in a more open lot of land came into view. 

Fair spot for a safe house, Tangerine had to admit.

Geoffrey fished out a set of keys and entered the house. Once he closed the door, Tangerine made a beeline for the house, ducking out of the field of vision whenever Geoffrey walked in front of a window. At the door, Tangerine got out his lockpicks.

Whatever mild approval he expressed of Black Stone for his choice in refuge disappeared once he realized how fucking mediocre his locks were. Nevertheless, he quickly brushed the disappointment off. He would complain once he got home to Lemon.

Once he heard the latch click free, he swung the door open quietly yet rapidly. He closed it with one hand as he drew his revolver with the other.

The interior of the house was unremarkably normal-looking. Grey walls. Forest green tiles. A kitchen with an island, couches and a coffee table over a rug. Bookshelves, framed artwork, potted plants.  

Geoffrey hadn’t come into view, but momentarily Tangerine heard footsteps coming from upstairs. He slid behind a wall and prepared to ambush, but right as he got into position, the footsteps stopped. And never fucking came back.

Puzzled by Geoffrey’s apparent disappearance, Tangerine stepped out into the open. Still no footsteps or sound of movement. He scoured the first floor, walking down a hallway and checking every room and the garage. 

Nothing. 

Tangerine was about to venture onto the second floor when he heard what sounded eerily similar to rustling. He instinctively turned towards the sound, finger on his trigger.

Nothing?

He moved in the direction it came from, which was towards the back door. Right when he reached the door, he heard more rustling. But it sounded like it came from within the house.

What the fuck?

Tangerine briefly peeked through every room on the first floor again before walking up the stairs. The second floor was as mundane as the first. Bedroom. Bathroom. Second bedroom. Second bathroom. 

He was just walking out of the second bedroom’s closet when he noticed a weird flash in the corner of his eye. 

He wheeled around and was face-to-face with the bed. 

Tangerine squinted and walked closer to the headboard. White with three frames that looked like cupboard doors.

Doors.

He used his free hand to look for any openings between the frames and the headboard itself. When he came to the middle frame, he felt his fingers squeeze in just a bit further than with the other frames, followed by a click, and the door swinging wide open.

Under the bed was a dark, long passageway resembling a cave. And there was light at the far end. 

Forced to crawl, Tangerine got on his knees and began navigating through the dimly lit burrow. As he got closer to the light, he noticed that it came from within what appeared to be a dug-out room. 

When he saw what was inside, his jaw dropped.

There was a gigantic fucking conspiracy board filled to the brim of him. Of everything about him. There were photos of him ranging all the way back from when he got his start in the business, his teenage years, to his most recent job. He should have gotten rid of the security camera footage by the time he got home.

And yet.

Newspaper clippings of his jobs, all covered up by the various agencies and criminal organizations by the time they hit the headlines. Portraits of his targets, in live and mangled body form. Snapshots of all the cities he’s worked in, including some uncomfortable close-ups on buildings he recognizes. The inevitable trail of red string connected all of them together in perfect chronological order from what he could remember.

Underneath the board was a long desk. On both sides of it were supercomputers, with a more general-purpose desktop on a smaller desk next to it. There were even more articles dedicated to him, scattered across the vast piles of documents he thought no longer existed. Burner phones he discarded. Cameras of the surveillance kind. Safe house keys. 

This time, what he noticed the most was a garish handwriting in a darkened, oft-putting shade, trailing all over most of the torn sheets of paper. He knew it wasn’t blood, but a distinct putrid odor emitted from the questionable ink he couldn’t quite place. It just felt unnatural.

The writing itself, in bold, large capital letters, spelt NOTHING IS FORGOTTEN.

He picked up one of the sheets of paper and noticed the deranged writing covered a past contract he signed. 

Fuck the job, Black Stone was going to fucking answer for this.

Coming out of the room, he was again bathed in the darkness of the cave as he crawled back to the bed.

Wait, didn’t he leave the door open—

His head bumped against what was certainly the wood of a frame.

That didn’t budge.

He tried pushing against the door as hard as he could, eventually resorting to punching it with his brass knuckles, but for whatever reason, the door did not move an inch. Someone on the other end had to have been holding it in. It was like it had been fucking sealed.

He caught another flash at the corner of his eye and saw that more light had now appeared in the opposite direction. Cursing under his breath and realizing he was forced to find another exit, he crawled all the way to the other side.

There was another ladder leading up to a circular door, looking the same as the one he originally took. The door was easy to open - all he needed to do was push - and spit him out right on a lot of open land. The door was covered by grass, and he noticed a keyhole. It had been unlocked.

Almost directly in front of him was a large white mansion. It easily surpassed Geoffrey’s house by about three times in size. The main entrance had three large wooden doors and wide platform stairs leading up to the front door. 

Two of which were wide open.

Tangerine seethed and quickly barged through the entrance. He was done with Black Stone’s games. 

As soon as he fully stepped inside, both open doors rapidly slammed shut behind him, causing him to flinch. All the blinds were closed in the house, giving the atmosphere a dim, shadowy atmosphere.

Tangerine tried looking out the small windows of the door, but they were built in a kaleidoscope style, the panes seemingly divided into dozens of protruding bumps of glass, making it difficult to see anything. There were no moving shapes, or even shadows from under the door that gave away an outside presence. 

“Fucking bullshit,” Tangerine muttered with half a mind to beat the piss out of whoever showed up, Black Stone or no. Then he heard something akin to a glass shattering from inside the house. He drew his revolver. 

The nearest window smashes to pieces as a figure crashes through the glass to tackle him to the ground.

With a roar of exertion from the sheer frustration of the day, Tangerine puts all his strength in kicking the person off, but they grab hold of his legs and use their fucking body weight to slam him back down. 

Tangerine hits the floor face first, and it’s instantly met with a deep, heavy punch to the back of his head, causing his nose to make full contact with the ground, signaled by the sound of something surely breaking. 

Letting out a furious groan, Tangerine jabs an elbow upward, only slightly connecting with his attacker but connecting nonetheless, and he attempts to follow through with a jab of his own. Said attacker - whose weight had become suspiciously light - only captures his arm in a deathly grip and slams his legs onto Tangerine’s upper body, pushing his head with a now-damaged nose into the floor again with a louder crunch - make that two, as the attacker was pulling his arm back relentlessly far. 

Tangerine let out a guttural cry of pain as his arm was broken, proceeded by his elbow as the bastard had the nerve to suddenly reverse the lower part of his arm in a 180-degree angle. He had dealt with broken limbs before, he was a fucking assassin, but this was particularly inconvenient. 

His quick-thinking of how to adapt to his incapacity was rudely interrupted when the bastard slams a fist in his face, the sensation of pain arising from the broken nose clouding his judgment. A punch to his stomach then the next to his chest knocks the wind out of him. 

Tangerine could now clearly recognize the figure. Black Stone, his tall, lanky figure and his messy dark hair. Most of all, he saw that he was pissed beyond belief. His eyes told the story of a flurry of emotions: rage most obviously, and something involving sadness. 

Tangerine doesn’t get to take advantage of his emotions the way he usually would’ve as Black Stone slams him from wall to wall, then punches him through the cheek, his fist reaching his lips. He begins to feel the same sensation of pain from his nose in his mouth, and is only able to see two of his teeth on the ground before he is practically dragged by the neck without concern for potential choking. His attempt at breaking off is met with a kick to his knees and yet another punch to the shoulder, rendering it nigh dislocated. 

Shortly, he feels Black Stone throw him to the floor, now carpeted. Tangerine was about to fight through the pain to rip him a new one when he noticed dozens of people. Then hundreds. They were at the back of the house now, and he could see into the sizable lot of land through the back door that people surrounded them from all sides. 

People he recognized. No, people he knew - or knew him, rather. 

And standing closest to him were the survivors of the Meredith Elementary School bombing. 

"You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise." -Maya Angelou

[dinosaurchurch]

With 2023 right around the corner that raises the question (since everyone likes to ask me) what do I have planned goal wise for the new year? There's a lot of things, since I've gotten myself back into a decent headspace during 2022 it's left me room to improve on what I've got instead of just catching up for 2023.

One is definitely dialing in my consistency and using my time more wisely. I feel like the past three months have just been a blur and I didn't have a chance to really utilize my spare time or at least what little I had. There's some things I really want to make more of a priority - the biggest being my lifting because I slacked off on the latter half of the year. The other thing is getting back to making more actual meals for myself, a lot of mornings I just ended up slapping something together (I was really bad for this the summer) or simply grabbing lunch on the run.

Two would be getting better with saving money (I've never been good with this). I didn't really save anything by the end of the year although I've curbed my spending but I still could do better. I do want to save up for several things over the next 2 or 3 years.

Three is nipping some of my procrastination in the bud, I guess you could say this ties almost in with my first goal but it's important enough I'm giving it it's own mention. I've never been timely with doing things unless they're something I immediately need to turn my attention to, I'm hoping to start changing that in 2023.

Four is getting more endurance/stamina. I haven't told anybody about this one since it's been something I've been sitting on for a while but I'd like to build up how far I can hike or how much volume I can take with regards to my lifts. I've noticed it since I've been lazy the past few months with certain things that I fatigue easier than I'd like with what I just mentioned. Improving my fitness is always going to be a goal at this point but I do want to get that under wraps - I'd like to tackle a couple of really long hikes over 2023 and 2024 subsequently. I'm not getting younger so I know that it'll start taking longer to recover than it used to but I'm not ready to throw in the towel and hit the wall yet - I'll be doing that on my terms and my terms alone.

Five I'd have to say get cracking into the 5th arc of DIVE and maybe finish it before 2024. I've practically gotten the 4th arc done save for the last chapter but that's something I'll have finished shortly. I'm hoping to have the prologue for the comic finished before March as well but we'll see on that one.

Six. Get to spend more time with some family and friends when I can. I like to share my adventures with people if I can, that includes getting down for more lifting sessions with the lovely folks in my group too. I think I should get out of the house more often.

And last but not least continuing to haul my head into a better space. I've come a long way since the beginning of the year but I still think I could be better, I know I'm still climbing the mountain and I can see the top but I'm not there yet. I don't mention it but I would like to find a better relationship in dealing with my anxiety, there's a couple of things that I still get hung up with but I know I'll have to let time do it's thing for that. I'll just have to learn how to cope better with what I have going forward, I've built a pretty good foundation for that over this year but it's still not where I'd like it to be.

I'm determined to not my depression get the best of me either, not this time. I think keeping myself preoccupied has been half the solution but I'm hoping to do the best I can to keep myself healthy and that requires getting my diet in check and ensuring I've got the proper amount of rest to recover.

Overall I think 2023 will be a good year. After the past three years it's nothing but up from here.

Onwards.

[teenagedirt]

Kissing in cars (9)

Chapter 9- surprise

Warning: reference to s3x

I slowly creep over to the knife block and slide a large knife out and grip it tightly, trying to control my breathing. I peek around the corner and see vic crouching trying not to laugh. "WHAT IN THE KENTUCKY FRIED FUCK IS GOING ON" I yell as a drop the knife,the metal clashes on the floor.

"Shit you scared me y/n" he says grabbing his chest.

"I SCARED YOU?YOU SCARED ME" I yell and then bust out into laughter. Then It hit me, Vic is supposed to be in Texas, why is he home. He walks over to the couch and plops himself down. "Hey,lover girl, come here I gotta question for you" still processing everything I walk over to the couch and lay down,my head in his lap.

"Whats up pretty boy" I say smiling up at him.

"Well I was wondering, if maybe you would like to come on tour with me, there's always an extra bunk, or you can share with me." I hear his sweet voice say. My face stretches in a wide smile.

"really?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

"Yes of course" he grin wider.

"Well you said I could share a bed with you,I would love that" I pause for a second thinking of what to day next "I mean we've been sleeping in the same bed for a month now" he smiles.

"I'm glad, but you might wanna start packing we for real have to leave tomarrow. I nod and sit up in my elbows and slide myself off the couch. Vic gets up as well. I look deep into his brown eyes,

"I don't think you realise how much this means to me" I say. Back when A flair for the dramatic came out and Vic started to travel for events and such I wanted him to invite me, but he never did. Now three years later it's finally happening. " Well I don't think you know much you mean to mean darling" my face heats up quickly. "Better get going sweetheart,no time for procrastination" I nod and walk to my room,Vic following closely. I rummage through the bottom of my closet to find my suitcase. When I finally find it I only it out and open it on the floor. I sit next to it to make sure it's empty. I scoot myself over to my dresser and grab random pajamas, knowing that it won't matter anyway. Vic stands leaning on the doorframe.

"Are you just going to stand there looking hot" he smirks at me,and sits down next to me laying his hand on my upper thigh. I breath deeply inhaling his scent. I fold every thing I've pulled out and neatly placed it in the bottom of the suitcase. Since I've been wanting to do this for such a long time I've wanted to come with him for such a long time I have everything I would wear planned out. I grab the outfits and fold them and place them.

"You do this way quicker than I do" Vic says staring down into the half full suitcase.

"Well, I'll let you in a small secret, I've wanted to come come you since you started traveling for events, so I planned everything out just I case" his mouth opens his mouth in shock.

"Honey, why didn't you just ask" he asks and stands up to face me. I sigh, why didn't I just ask?

"I guess I would have felt bad for it, I would have felt as if I invited myself." I say now looking down at the floor. He steps closer to me. He places his hands on the sides of my face and tilts my head up so my eyes meet his.

"Darling, next time just ask. It's not inviting yourself. When I would leave I always thought you didn't want to go, I would loved it if you went."He says. Then closing the gap between us with a deep passionate kiss. He pulls away to breath and I grab his chin and bring him closer and peck him on the lips. I step away and go back to my dresser to go all the underclothes I will be needing. I mentally check off everything I have. I walk across the hall to our shared bathroom and open my drawer and grab my deodorant,perfume, and makeup. I open the cabinet and grab some hair ties and my hairbrush. I take them back to my room and gently throw them on my bed. Vic watches me from the floor eyeing my body as I move. I go back to the bathroom and grab shampoo and such. When I have everything ready to go I walk back into my room. Vic had a very suspicious look on his face,

"hey pretty boy why are you looking at me like that" he laughes under his breath. "That outfit looks nice but I'm sure it'll look better on my bedroom floor" I laugh. "It my clothes already have been on your bedroom floor" he laughs softly. "true" he says. His stomach grumbles.

"You hungry love" I ask. He nods and I grab his hand and lead him to kitchen. He leans on the counter, putting his weight on his elbows. He watches me as I cook for him.

"yknow you would make a really nice housewife" he says as I'm bringing him how plate.

"I'll be your housewife" I say pecking his cheek . He may think I'm joking but I'm not. When me and Vic met in high-school I had the biggest crush on him, I planned our wedding before I even met him, I would love to marry him. He laughs, I snap out of my thoughts as I hear him talking.

"You planning the wedding in there" he asks playfully tapping his forehead. I laugh it off, he wasn't completely wrong. I sit at the kitchen island beside him, we eat in comfortable silence. When we were both done I take our dishes to the sink.

"I'm going to go change and probably watch a bryanstars interview or some shit".

vic laughes, "isn't that basicly apart of your daily routine" I scoff,

"I don't like Bryan he gives me the creeps but I like the people he interviews"

"fair enough" I walk to my room, I open the dresser and pull out a plain black tanktop and a pair of gray sweats and let them hang low on my hips. I grab a blanket and my computer and make my way to the couch. Vic is already laying when I walk over.

"So you want to watch the interviews with me?" I ask Joy creeping up inside me.

"Yeah why not" I gently lay down on him and cover us both in the blanket and open my lap. As we wait for it to boot up, Vic wraps his hands around my waist and places his head on my shoulder. When I open youtube and click on an interview he moves his focus to the screen. We fall asleep together, but tonight I don't have the nightmare, I sleep soundly in his arms.

I awaken to Vic's alarm blaring in his room. "Shit" I groan and push myself off him. I shut off the alarm. I shake his arm "Vic" I get a snore in response. "Fuck" I decide to change the try again. I put on one of Vic's hoodies and some of his sweats. I drag myself back to the living room. "Baby, your alarm went off" his face ascrunchea and and he opens his eyes. He sighes and gets up. "I hate mornings" he groans, I grab my stuff and drag it to the living room. I open the fridge to grab a couple monsters. One for me, the other for vic. I open my and basicly chug it. I set on the counter. I walk to the bathroom, brush my teeth and throw my toothbrush and toothpaste in the suitcase. Vic walks back into the living room holding his phone and keys. " yeah" I say,he grabs his monster on the way out. He locks the door behind him. We make our way to his car. We load our things into his car and drive to the airport. I hate waking up early but it's worth it.

[boinin]

I decided to try NaNoWriMo this year. It might not go very well, like I might not even make it halfway... but it's a opportunity to write more than I would in the absence of a deadline.

I'll dump details under the cut for accountability/anyone who's curious about what I'm working on at the moment, but hey: look at this year's pretty badge!

So, if you see me procrastinating on Tumblr over the next weeks... I give you permission to yell at me "log off and get writing!"

My NaNoWriMo backstory is that it was my white whale for years. I tried to hit the goal on multiple occasions, usually giving up about a third of the way in. However, thanks to an ADHD diagnosis, a very understanding partner and a supportive writing group locally, I achieved the 50K milestone for the first time in 2022.

I really want to try again this year. But the one thing that helped me over the line before (free time to catch up at the weekends) isn't a guarantee this time around, as I'll hopefully be moving house between now and Christmas. It's also a particularly stressful time at work, which doesn't help.

I decided to go for it all the same—just not for a new novel. I have so many fanfiction ideas and WIPs I want to finish, I've decided to channel my energies into that.

Here's my planned task list. I've given an indicative word and day count for each item.

There's three Halloweek fic ideas in there, that I just did not have the time or the spoons for this month. There's also some Rare Pair inspired prompts in there, as well as the last two chapters of Cassis Orange. If I achieve nothing else next month, I'm finishing CO. I don't want to let it run into next year 🫠

I'm not starting from scratch on many of these. In most cases, I have an outline or at least a rough plot in mind.

Some are works in progress. The Flower Shop AU already has 3,000 words to its name, while there's like... 11,000 words of CO Chp 9?

However, here's what my CO draft folder looks like:

In short: I do a lot of drafting and redrafting. Chp 9 is far from ready for the world.

While 11K is longer than any other published chapter, most of that count is the same few scenes, rewritten over and over. It's fine; nothing will drive me as crazy as the festival scene in chapter 7 did—but I need some pressure to knuckle down and write, without getting bogged down on editing. So, here's hoping NaNoWriMo is the kick I need to give Kunigiri their happy ending.

This has been my personal mountain. Now to lace up the boots and start climbing. I'll check in over the next few days and weeks to update on how I'm getting on.

[the-hs-etaverse]

State of the whatever #I'm sorry women

Hi guys sorry about the (mostly) radio silence for the past couple months. I know I know I shouldn't be apologizing, I don't owe you guys anything (and don't youse be getting it into your heads that I do), but like, I still feel bad, and I feel bad about not getting Housesnared posting-ready in time. Admittedly some of my procrastination on that front was because MSPFA was down for maintenance for a couple months. But it was also procrastination-procrastination. I have some sort of deadline-avoidance syndrome or something.

Anyway. What was I going to say? Right. Progress on Housesnared. Not much of it since Ash Wednesday and my previous State of the Etaverse update. I finished another main character intro and fleshed out some of the others a bit more. Other than that? Nothin'.

Part of this was because other projects (Homestuck-based or non) suddenly looked a heck of a lot more appealing to me now that I had this stupid self-imposed deadline hanging over me. I finished another chapter of Meteor Science Theater 413000 over Lent, along with two (out of three) sections of this Kittyquest supplementary fic thing. (I think I've linked to both of these in this blog since their posting. If you're interested, go find 'em. They're both on my AO3 (u/n @meowloudly15).)

And also non-Homestuck nonsense, but check my main if you'd like to see all that.

I also did some other Homestuck stuff that I haven't completed/posted yet. More on that as it's completed. :3

Okay SO. uh. I have an idea but I would like your feedback on it. I could post more of my Housesnared stuff, like work-in-progress panels and things and scripts and stuff and character bios. While the idea intrigues me, I am also kind of worried about spoilering you guys if you don't want to be spoilered, if you just wanna see the finished product. That said, here are some pros:

I Wanna Talk About This Story With People !!!!!

Good way to get feedback or suggestions. I always envisioned Housesnared as being at least partly fan-driven. I could post a character profile and go "give me FAMILY MEMBER IDEAS" and maybe get a single comment?

A way for me to feel like I'm being at least a little productive, to show myself "hey look how far you've come up this enormous mountain you've concocted for yourself like seriously WHY did you decide to start writing a 48-player fansession without any support from friends or anything" it's because I'm insane, Jennifer. That's why.

I think I had another reason I just don't remember what it is

OH RIGHT a way to garner more interest in my story and characters. Kind of like Sovereignstuck has been doing

help me please

ANYWAY. Tell me what you think lads

[dogboyboyshorts]

OK NOW TIME FOR SOME SPLAIN'N

so the reason i haven't been on for the past... two months? is because i gave myself a rule about logging back on. see i had been reading clive barker's books of blood, the first volume, and while i did enjoy it, it was taking a bit so i was like ok. how about im not allowed to open tumblr until i finish this book (and at that point, the last two stories were "sex, death, and starshine" and "in the hills, the cities"). and i procrastinated on finishing it. for TWO MONTHS. but im back now! and im glad i took the time off because i had a great time and it was really helpful for clearing my head of brainrot

for the next week, maybe two weeks, idk maybe less, im just gonna be on like normal, but after that im going to try to finish at least one short story in-between log-ons. so im planning on getting the second volume of books of blood, and then once im done with all of those im moving onto jorge luis borges. hopefully this means my usage will be spaced out enough that i wont get turbo brainrot, and hopefully this will also incentivize me to read more since ive been struggling with that all year. so if i disappear again, dont worry! im just likely just procrastinating and am probably having a great time in the real world. or just on other sites besides this one, lol

i realized i mentioned i've been on pinterest, but i also realized i forgot to link my username! you can find me on pinterest here and on reddit here, and if ive been offline on tumblr for a while, you can probably contact me through there if you wanna check up on me.

STUFF IVE BEEN DOING:

over the period i was absent i managed to get cast in, rehearse for, and then perform a one-act play at my local theater over two weekends! as you can imagine our schedule was pretty tight, but i think we managed to pull it off really well considering everything. ive also been taking some classes that have been super duper interesting and i wont say too much cuz i dont want to dox myself, but i have been learning some rudimentary asl and its very enriching for a poor little boy such as me.

comic books! after exactly a year away i went back to the original joe kelly run of deadpool, and lo and behold it was just as great as people said it was! besides that im making my way through the utterly massive chris claremont run of x-men comics, with the help of some handy omnibuses i've acquired online. be prepared for nightcrawlerposting. i literally started the series because i thought he was cute and im so glad i did. and im also reading doom patrol!!!!!! im nearly done with grant morrison's run (i have like five issues left??? crazy) and then im gonna be moving on to the rachel pollack run, and after that, im skipping right to the gerard way run!

IN THE FUTURE

its october now which means im going to try to watch all the horror movies i didnt last year. and we're also coming up on one year of genocide so i want to be able to help at least somewhat, at least a little bit more than i already have been. ill be making a separate post for this but im planning on opening a few donation commission slots, maybe five, maybe just three. ive been struggling to output anything artwise so i hope drawing something for someone else can make that easier for me.

anyway, good to see everyone again! here's hoping things turn out okay for all of us. brace yourselves for a tumult of fandomposting after this message, ive been itching to dive back into the tagsearch for too long!

HEY GUYS HI

OK!!! HELLO!!!! YES IVE BEEN DOING FINE ITS GOOD TO SEE YOU. IM GOING TO CHECK MY NOTIFS REAL QUICK AND THEN ILL GIVE AN EXPLANATION

[heyboke]

SWIPED RIGHT! | Kageyama Tobio x Reader SMAU

0:10 — Pinky Promise and...

NOTE: I understand if some of my readers only prefer the SMAU part, so I made this update flexible so you can still get what’s happening without reading the writing part! Keep in mind that you still have to click on ‘Keep Reading’ to access the following photos!

But, some of the parts can’t be translated through social media screenshots so reading the writing part will really help you understand the characters and what’s happening to the story on a deeper level! ☻

Word Count: 3344 words

YOUR POV

After concluding Bokuto-senpai's non-stop blabbering about the movie he watched last night to procrastinate from studying, the boys were finally able to go to their locker room to freshen up for their long-awaited BBQ Friday.

I decided to wait for them on the bench just outside the gym. Their four hour training went by so fast that when I looked up at the sky, the stars were already twinkling. The cool breeze I only get to enjoy at night hugged my skin as the winds started to lightly gust against my bare sleeves. Ugh, I forgot to bring a hoodie with me tonight.

My thoughts were interrupted as I received Tobio-kun's very random text. It was a very pleasant surprise that unconsciously plastered a huge smile on my face. I was too busy texting him that I didn't even notice the whole team standing in front of me, all ready to go.

"What's that on your phone that's making you grin like the Grinch?" Akaashi asked, trying to subtly take a peek on my phone screen. I immediately locked the device and put it inside the pocket of my sweatpants.

"No need to peek, Akaashi! Let's not waste anymore time... let's go!" I said, jumping out of the bench as the whole team started to walk, carrying on with their small talks.

The gray haired captain stood out since he was ahead of everyone, hopping like a kangaroo while shrieking about how he's been craving for Barbecue for so long now and that he can't believe he finally got the blue check on Twitter.

I was walking alongside Akaashi at the far end side of the group, watching everyone ahead of us with a comfortable silence lingering between us.

"Do you need help with your bag? I can carry it for you." He asked, breaking the silence.

"It's fine, it's fine! I can carry it on my own. Besides, you've already had such a long training. I don't want to burden you with such a small thing." I said, smiling at him to assure him that it's fine.

"Oh, speaking of my bag... hold up," I muttered, stopping on my tracks as I opened my bag to get something.

"What's up?" Akaashi uttered his third question since I saw him outside of the gym. I shuffled through my things until I finally found what I was looking for.

"Aha! Here. I got it while y’all were doing your spiking drills." I said, handing him a slightly chilled bottle of Vanilla protein shake.

"Oh. Thanks, Y/N. It's been a while since you gave me something as boujee as a protein shake. Hmm, someone's loaded today." Akaashi teased, a small smile smothering his gorgeous face. It is an unsaid arrangement between the both of us that I can only give something a little fancy to him, or to anyone, when I have extra savings with me.

"Shut up! I've been saving up for tomorrow for quite some time now. Just... shut up and be grateful for that, Keiji." I said, chuckling as I playfully hit his arm.

"Why? What's so special about tomorrow?" he asked, eyebrows scrunching up together in curiosity.

"Didn't I tell you? To—"

"WE'RE FINALLY HERE!! YAAAY!!!" Bokuto hollered, cutting me off from telling Akaashi about my plans with Tobio-kun, Hinata-kun and my bestfriends for tomorrow. The familiar aroma of savory and mouthwatering meat being grilled, instantly filled my nostrils. I just realized that I've been distracting myself from how hungry I actually am all this time.

"God, I'm so hungry. Y'all were taking so long. If I wasn't on such a good mood, I would've been so hangry by now!" I said, eyes locked on the grilling area on the side of the restaurant where the Barbecue we've been dying to eat is being prepped.

Good thing, Bokuto-senpai already reserved a table for us ahead of time. The short list of things that the simple-minded captain would not procrastinate on would certainly include Volleyball and his favorite food, Barbecue.

Everyone decided to sit down on their desired seat. I felt comfortable sitting at the very far end of the booth’s couch. Since Akaashi and I were already walking side by side, it made sense that he just sat beside me on the couch too.

The rest of the team, and most likely even me, were practically drooling at the sight of barbecue being served to the tables around us. Yukie-san, one of the current managers of the team, is known for her great love for food. She decided to take matters in to her own hands and stood up for everyone. She simply asked one of the servers to follow up our orders.

Some of the third years, Konoha-san, Komi-san and Sarukui-san, were struggling to deal with an impatient Bokuto that was on the verge of going on emo mode.

“Where’s Akaashi? Didn’t he...“ the captain mumbled, pouting as he searched for the setter that was seated beside me.

“Oh, no. Bokuto-san’s Weakness #42. He becomes impractically impatient when people make him wait for his food, most especially when he’s hungry after training.” I hear Akaashi mutter beside me. I looked at him and he seems like Doctor Strange, looking at and calculating the different possibilities of what can happen if the captain won’t be able to get his food anytime soon.

Thankfully, Yukie-san came back to our table with at least two servers holding stacks of Barbecue on their trays, gently placing them on the table in front of all of us. Bokuto-senpai’s eyes lit up, even his hair seemed to perk up in excitement as he saw the Barbecue he’s been dying to eat being served in front of him.

“ALRIGHT, Let’s dig in!! This is in honor of me getting the blue check and a reward for all of us after such a hard training!! WOOHOOO!! Enjoy, everyone!!” the captain cheered, taking at least five chunks of meat in his chopsticks and munching the all down in one go.

No matter how hungry I am, I took the time to look at the team in front of me. The mere sight of them enjoying their food is endearing me. Am I really going to be a part of this wonderful team by next week? Do I really belong here?

I snapped out of my thoughts when I saw green vegetables being plopped down on my plate. I looked up and saw Akaashi putting one last piece of greens on my plate.

“Hey, why are you putting all that? I came here for Barbecue and not vegetables, Keiji.” I mocked him, poking the vegetables he just placed on my plate with my own chopsticks.

“Shush, you have to eat those. Even just a couple. They make you healthier. Plus, if you’re going to be our manager, you can’t be getting sick and frail.” he said, not even sparing a glance at me as he started to eat his own food.

Now this... this is one of his gestures that made me grow really fond of him. Some people might think otherwise but for me, Akaashi is not shy at all. Others often mistake his silence as shyness. When in reality, he only speaks up when he thinks it’s necessary — when he thinks it’s worth it. In fact, he is very frank with his words. He’s the type of person that would call you out when you’re doing something wrong, but he’d also compliment you when you’re doing something right. If one tends to focus more on his expressions, they can be convinced that he’s bland because his face really is usually blank. He only ever shows what he feels through his expressions at very rare occasions. Thus, he shows his feelings most of the time through his gestures; be it a small one or a big one.

“Hmph, fine. I’ll just eat more barbecue with it, so I don’t taste it that much.” I said, wrapping the greens with a chunk of meat. Bokuto-senpai, who’s instantly uplifted by now, overheard what I said.

“That’s what I do too when I need to eat vegetables!!! You’re doing the right thing, Y/N!!” he laughed, as he stuffed more barbecue inside of his mouth. The other third years that were worked up on not letting him slip in to his emo mode earlier, were now having the time of their life beside Bokuto-senpai, laughing at each other as they throw jokes at one another from time to time.

“Y/N?” said someone from in front of me. I looked up and saw that the voice belongs to none other than, Kaori-san, the other current manager of the team. She’s so pretty, oh my gosh.

“H-Hello, Kaori-san. Is there anything I could help you with?” I asked, getting a little conscious about the fact that I’m basically eating like a pig in front of someone so gorgeous.

“Oh, nothing! I just wanted to talk to you, even just for a little bit.” She smiled, eating gracefully like a princess. I could never, lol.

“I’m always down for a talk with you, Kaori-san!!” I gushed. Oh my god, do I sound a little too excited? What if she thinks I’m a crazy fangirl? Oh no.

“You’re so cute! Hahaha, anyway, I’d love to hear your thoughts right now about the team manager position because I’d be really be at ease knowing that the team is in good hands after Yukie-san and I graduate.” She said, a hint of sadness was evident after she mentioned the fact that they’re graduating this year.

“Oh, of course... Hm, before I even officially become the manager of this team, I can say that I already have a pretty good bond with them... thanks to this one person,” I nudged Akaashi who was peacefully eating beside me and secretly listening to Kaori-san and I’s conversation. Akaashi-kun, you’re not so slick. I might’ve only known you for a little over three months now, but I can feel it when your ears are trying to listen, despite having your eyes focused on something else.

I continued, “I just know that they have something really special about them. At times, I even get intimidated by their bond because not all teams can easily earn it. It takes a lot of time and everyone’s cooperation as well. With that being said, I just want to make sure that I won’t get in their way or anything. I really am taking things seriously and I’ve also been thinking about it a lot lately. I don’t want to make a hasty decision just because I got blinded with such a big opportunity. It’s a commitment that we’re talking about, not just to myself, but to the rest of the team as well.”

I didn’t even realize that I’ve been blabbering like a little kid in front of Kaori-san.

“The fact that you’re thinking about it this much already says a lot, Y/N. Hell, I didn’t even know it’s possible for me to want you to take this position even more!” she chuckled.

“Your words mean a lot to me, Kaori-san! I’ll make sure to keep it in mind once I make my final decision.” I smiled, stuffing my mouth with one of the green vegetables on my plate and Barbecue.

The warmth and liveliness around the table never died down all through out the meal. We even found the gray-haired captain standing up and doing an imitation of this one funny video he watched as a kid. The trays and plates on the table were now empty, while our stomachs were full and satisfied.

“HEY, HEY, HEY!!! Let’s go to arcade now!! Yoohoo!!” Bokuto-senpai started to hop around while flailing his arms in the air, ready to go to this arcade nearby this restaurant. He was so close to leaving the doorway when one of the servers came up to our table.

“Uhm, ma’am and sir, I double checked it on the system but... you haven’t paid for your meals yet,” the server was sheepish on approaching us. She was having a hard time looking at us in the eyes. She’s probably new here.

Everyone stood there in shock and embarrassment, except for Konoha-san and Komi-san who dragged Bokuto-san back inside to pay for our meals.

“OH... I’m so sorry!! I forgot, I didn’t mean to not pay!!” the captain sincerely apologized, quickly paying for everything we ate.

Upon entering the arcade, I couldn’t help but feel giddy and excited. The air inside the arcade just makes me feel alive and want to play games there all day. People around our age and some kids filled the place. Some of them are on dates, while most of them were just hanging out with each other.

The team scattered into groups as they went to the games that best fit their liking. The captain can be seen inside a Zombie-killing booth. His hands are already holding the fake gun inside, ready to unleash his inner warrior because according to him, he always trained himself for an apocalypse that can happen in the future. Some of the third years, like Yukie-san and Kaori-san along with some of the spikers, can be seen on the bowling area.

I rushed to the counter in the middle to get myself tokens and cards to play the games. The air hockey table caught my attention the moment we stepped in the arcade. I was about to swipe my card to play, when I realized I didn’t have anyone to play it with. How much dumber can I get? I obviously can’t play this by myself.

“Go for it. I’ll play with you,” a voice I know too well spoke behind me. I didn’t realize that I kind of ditched him as soon as I got too caught up in excitement with the arcade.

“Okay. Bring it on, Keiji! Don’t you dare go easy on me!” I exclaimed, swiping the card and grabbing the air hockey paddle on the table. My competitive side was showing as I poured my energy in each stride at the puck and attempts to block it from shooting inside my side of the goal.

After a few rounds of air hockey and a little bit of Basketball, where I took a hard L because I was against a well-trained and balanced athlete that shot the ball like it was nothing, I decided to go for a game where I thought I had a bigger shot at winning. I scanned through the games again and my eyes landed on this one game that I knew I’d win against someone like Akaashi.

“Dance Dance Revolution? I never played this game all my life and now you’re asking me to play it with you right now?” he whined, uneasiness showing as he spoke. I felt a little sad, but I didn’t want him to force him on doing something he doesn’t want to do.

“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t want to do it. I just really thought it’d be nice to play this with somebody.” I looked down, speaking softly. I hear him take a deep breathe.

“Fine... just one round.” he said. I was so thrilled. I bounced around and swiped my card on the machine. We stepped on the dancing area with the arrows under our feet and got ready to play the game. I chose a dance that was moderately difficult, keeping in mind that by doing so, I’ll increase my chances of winning. It was going really well at first. By looking at Keiji on my peripheral vision, he wasn’t even that bad. I guess the footwork training they do on Volleyball also helps him. Ugh, is there something he can actually suck at?

The most complex part of the dance started and I was slowly panicking. My score was higher, but only by a little. I was getting lost in the game that I didn’t even notice that I stepped at a faulty angle and twisted my ankle.

I winced in pain as I lost my balance and held on the metal bar behind me for support. Akaashi was alarmed as soon as he saw my current state.

“Hey, I’m fine, really. What’s that look on your face, Akaashi?” My poor attempt to chuckle was horrible. I tried to stand up, but the pain I felt on my ankles were stronger than my will to prove Akaashi that I was fine. He rapidly moved away from the game and found himself beside me, checking my, most likely, sprained ankle.

“Okay, it doesn’t look that bad but you can’t work yourself up for a while. I’ll take you home. No more ifs and buts. I’ll just text Bokuto-san and the rest of the team about what happened and that we had to leave sooner than expected.” he sternly said.

The next thing I knew, he was walking me to my house. I found myself on his back, arms wrapped around his chest and legs clung on his waist as he held the side of my thighs for extra support.

The same stars that greeted me while I was waiting for them outside the gym earlier were present as I looked up again at the sky. With that, the same cold breeze of the night blew against my skin. I tried not to shiver, but it was useless since Akaashi felt that I was getting chilly because I was shaking a little.

He stopped on his tracks as he gently put me down on the sidewalk. I was feeling confused until I saw him taking his jacket off and offered me to take it.

“I noticed you were starting to get a little chilly, so here. Take it.” he said. I didn’t even hesitate anymore as I wore his jacket. I felt so much better and we started walking again while he gave me a piggyback ride.

I let out a yawn as I started to feel my eyelids getting heavier and my breathing going slower. I didn’t even know when it happened, but I just know that along the way, I fell asleep on his shoulders.

AKAASHI’S POV

I found myself in front of your house and I knocked on the door. It wasn’t the first time I’ve been here, so your mom let me in as soon as she saw me. I told her about what happened and gave her some tips that will help you recover faster. Given that I was not new to these injuries, I knew exactly what to do.

I opened the door to your room and I softly put you down on your bed. I got some pillows that will help on elevating your sprained ankle and tucked you to bed.

You looked so peaceful. You looked so beautiful.

I’ve always been blunt about what I see and feel about everything. So, why is it that I can’t tell you about these feelings that I feel solely for you?

I wish I can tell you that all your little gifts and efforts for me never go unappreciated.

I know that you’ve recently been growing closer to somebody else. I’m not oblivious about it. I know you, Y/N.

I just hope that it’s not too late by the time I finally build up the courage to tell you about these feelings.

I gave your forehead a soft kiss, before I finally got up and left your room.

YOUR POV

I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that I was already in the comfort of my own room. I checked my phone and saw that it was 2AM. I looked down on my feet and saw that my ankle was really sprained and that I wasn’t just dreaming about it.

I let out a sigh as I remember that Tobio-kun, Hinata-kun, Best Boy Yams and Saltyshima were coming over here later.

Why the fuck did I have to sprain my ankles on the worst day possible?

☆ PARTS ☆

A/N: Here goes my first actual write up in this blog! I would really love to hear your thoughts about it! Stay safe and healthy, lovelies! ♡

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[frogsandfries]

Feeling detached (?)

The graphic novel is feeling messy--trying to get it in a "lower content" kind of version, something that I can publish a little faster online, because on average, I can actually ink about a frame an evening (lately I've been eeking out this part that's a lot more detailed), and I can basically trace my linework into a cleaner version on consistent "paper" (I have two different sketchbooks right now, and I've been trying to use up some paper that I've had laying around, so that's three different papers and then sometimes, there are smudges and smears). Obviously tracing my own lineworks, I can do something like five an evening, if that's all I do.

Somehow it's Friday again. Since I decided that I need to finish this diamond painting so it'll stop taking up space in my closet, I've been spending Friday nights just obsessively placing crystals. It's a big boi-o, at 85cm, and I'm bad at getting the crystals to go on straight, plus with the type of adhesive it is, even checkerboard doesn't help straighten them like on a poured glue.

Anyway. So I have over a hundred frames that I can convert into some nice linework art for like WebToon or whatnot. I'm obviously not going to just sit there and catch up the digital lineworks; I'm going to do them whenever I feel like doing them. Mostly, I obviously just want to start the new year with enough pages (and now I'm thinking these pages I'm working so hard on are not quite big enough for the webtoon and similar crowds). I was thinking five frames, three times a week in January and then twice a week for literally just a couple months. But if I increase the strips to ten, I might have to do twice a week for the first month, once a week for the second, or maybe just post like five strips at once and drop to three strips every two months? I'll have to see how things are going. I kind of want to drop the first issue on WebToon within the first six months, and maybe let people know they can show their support and check out a physical book of the art.

That would give me about six months to start working on issue two, if people like issue one, and then the six months that I'll try to post issue two, to work on the low content for issue two. If I want to post that in six months, if I have about fifteen ten-frame strips, I could post twice a month...... However....... maybe posting the first issue in six months isn't quite the best move? I do want people to have enough material to get interested in the story..... I'd like if people who would like to see the story in full color could go do that.... I just don't want people maybe getting the wrong idea? I did draw the great, great majority of the linework for issue one in under a year, even with work and errands and coloring, so I can do the linework, no problem. Even less problem when the frames are easier, which most are. I definitely want cushion for major illness and frames that make me ask how long I can spend procrastinating.

So I just have, y'know, all these loose ends hanging out there. Then there's the matter of really plugging through these more difficult frames that I've been struggling with. And I have lineworks that I'm struggling with as well as colorworks that I'm struggling with, so it's fun feeling like everything is hard.......

Obviously, I'm technically not supposed to have my phone on me while I'm at work, but I do my job well, when there's anything to do and there's little to do right now. So since I'm bored, depending on what I'm doing, I've been flipping between trying to work on linework, and coloring. I guess maybe that's why my project feels like it's getting messy.

I don't presently, actively need to work on more lineworks other than to just keep the style as consistent as possible and to keep the story moving forward on at least one of the many, many levels. Not to mention, it's kinda the point, but the low content version is going to rapidly outstrip the fully colored version. Naturally. But still.

I do love the way it looks fully colored. I don't think I would pass that up. At the same time, if between having to work and spending as much time as possible on the graphic novel--I can't reliably outsource ALL my chores, we've had a lot of trouble with just getting car rides and groceries, not to mention, in our situation, it's just easier to do the garbage and laundry and dishes. Not to mention, I am obligated to leave the house occasionally. If only for my sanity. It's just going to take time. About fifteen months. Y’know.

I don't know if detached is really the right word. It feels out of my present control. It feels messy and like there's too much to juggle at one time. It feels like I've spent too much time on these frames--they're little mini-story frames, one frame broken into four segments, and there are two frames dedicated to the story of the founder, and two for the evolution of the school, and I was trying to keep it visually interesting enough while still simple and informational enough......... I hope. I'm gonna check with my one and only beta.

I think it's the depression speaking. I just don't know where to begin with this thing, I partially want to hold off on coloring for a while, or at least finish this volume, get it published, and then maybe just focus on working on the linework? At least with the linework out of my way, I could give more of my attention to coloring. I think I'm also making a little more trouble for myself by even mentally breaking off issue one from issue two, rather than treating them like the same story.

Either way, it's always so exciting in the first place to see the lineworks, and it's exponentially more exciting to see the colored frames. I don't know why I didn't just do this in the first place.

[mental-health-advice]

So, this entire quarantine thing has happened to surface all my problems that I didn't know existed, if not then- have made certain things worse for me. Initially, I suffered from intrusive thoughts and compulsions that became a lot more severe because of my ignorance. It became so worse that I spent almost every hour thinking about something or the other. However about three months back, I started sorting out time for myself and find solutions to this and currently, I'm doing a lot better. Although, even tho the old thoughts and way of thinking has surpassed, I've gotten into thinking of other kinds and despite of it being in control- I still sometimes get immensely bothered by these compulsions- that's for issue no. 1.

Over a long time, I've become over-sensitive to an extent where the smallest of criticism made me overly anxious and depressed. I sorted the issue out - after bottling up for long, but still - for sure but now, it's like the things and problems are returning back with a heavier impact. Even the smallest remark and joke is hurting me, my body is showing extensive response by causing consistent tingling pains on my hands and my heart feels heavy. In between, I also suffered from suffocation - randomly for abt 3 weeks- due to getting anxious about my overall behavior/ the way I act or carry myself.

And now, my physical health is also declining. This year is very important from my career point of view, but due to initial lack of motivation and procrastination, not staying concentrated has turned into a habit adding with all these issues, that i cannot focus AT ALL. The time for preparing for my main exams in nearing, my family is criticizing me for my abrupt outbursts and lack of concentration; and I just feel like the time is just passing.

Hey there,

Unfortunately, the quarantine and pandemic as a whole has brought things up for a lot of people and made things worse for them and especially as it’s meant we have had extra, extra time on our hands and to think.

I am so glad that you have been able to help yourself to better control your intrusive thoughts as a whole. This would not have been easy to do at all, but take a step back and look how much you have been ablet to accomplish in regards to this! I am sorry though that these thoughts are somewhat coming back though and that you are extremely bothered by them. This must be really hard and also exhausting. I am not sure if you have tried these things but have you tried the following:

Not suppressing the thoughts that you have been having

Trying to recognise the difference between the thoughts and reality

Trying to identify the triggers of the intrusive thoughts

Implement positive changes into your daily routine

Source

I’m so sorry that you are finding it really difficult when it comes to coping better when it comes to criticisms. Have you ever thought about seeing a counsellor or a therapist? I think that therapy may be really helpful for you because they will be able to help you to learn better coping strategies when it comes taking on criticisms and not letting it affect you in the way that it currently is. We also have a page on calming anxiety and panic which may also be helpful for you to check out when you have some spare time.

When it comes to concentration when trying to study this can be a big problem for a lot of people. I completely get and understand that this is an important time of year for you but when you have so much going on for you already, it’s just as important to practise self-care. So for example, eating a well balanced diet when you can, get adequate and proper sleep at night and getting in some exercise. All of these things can help with concentration, and sometimes writing out a timetable for when you can study, and have plenty of breaks can also help a bit. I am so sorry that you are being criticised a lot by your parents. This would not be helping matters at all. This is why therapy may be helpful for you to help you overall and to also give you someone to talk to as needed and work through some healthier coping strategies to help you get through this really tough but important time of year!

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK and hanging in there!

Take care,

Lauren

[topicprinter]

I have a few projects / small businesses I run and I've had issues staying consistent on their social media channels. This has to an extent held back some of the projects after good initial growth. A part of that is getting through the honeymoon period and staying motivated but I think there's a few other things I was doing that started to act as a barrier to consistency.Some people seem to thrive on social media and enjoy using it both personally and for their business. They’re predisposed to reaching for their camera or their phone, they’re energised by the effort and attention instead of being drained by it. If that sounds like you, you probably don’t need to read this post! Social media just feels more like work to me. It just doesn't come naturally.That’s compounded by the fact that I value privacy and being present in the moment over sharing publicly in my personal life.. values which are becoming more and more out of place in this modern world. If I could delete all my social media, live comfortably, and surf every day, I would! But that doesn’t gel with running a small business or the way I do live my life so I have to find a balance.So having said that, this post is as much about ways I’ve found to help me stay consistent on my business’s social media channels as it is about ways to avoid it consuming your life and time.What’s the goal of your social media marketingIt’s for your business right? The goal is to make money. You need your audience to buy your products or service.Buuuut, social media is playing the long game. The number one function of social media for a business is to build a relationship with its audience. And it’s hard to build a relationship if you’re always trying to sell them something.You want your audience to have a good feeling about your brand and get to know and trust you, so that when they need or are in a position to buy what you’re selling then they will come to you.Why social media consistency is important for your businessYou are trying to cultivate relationships. I’m sure you have that friend or acquaintance who you don’t hear from for months on end and then hear from out of the blue and they ask you for something.. how do you feel about that person at that moment? That is why social media consistency is important above all else. Don’t make your business that person.Your audience is bombarded by advertisements and information all the time. There are other businesses and distractions always fighting for your audience’s attention. Keeping on top of social media keeps you in the front of your audience’s minds.There’s an old adage in marketing called the Rule of 7 which states that a business has to reach its customers seven times before they’ll take action and buy. The number isn’t important but the idea that you have to have consistent positive contact with your potential customers is.To stay consistent is to stay relevant, and to present as reliable. So, without further ado, here are some things I’ve learned.Don’t put too much pressure on yourself for quality and perfectionA big problem I had with my social accounts for my surf photography business is that I set the bar for content too high. I was only posting images that I was ready to print and sell. It was a vicious cycle because I’d feel like I’d created an expectation in my audience for the type and quality of content that I would post and I felt pressure to live up to it.This meant I wouldn’t post photos taken with my phone or other content I could create and share quickly and easily, even though I’m sure those kinds of posts would have contributed to the goal of building a relationship with my audience.I still want to post quality content, but I’ve realised that that can come in different forms. This lets me relax and have fun with it a lot more.Only use as many social media channels as you can handleThere are so many platforms. In an ideal world, your business would be present and active on them all to make sure you reach aaaall your potential customers. But if it’s just you behind the scenes, it’s not realistic. Social media can be a full-time job and you’ve other business tasks to focus on, never mind actually having personal time too!It’s made worse if you have multiple projects. I run surfpreneur.co, a surf photography business, I’m a surf and SUP instructor, and I do a couple other things.. At first, I was determined to have separate social accounts for all my projects. That quickly adds up. Am I going to run three Instagram and Twitter accounts, two Facebook business pages, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Snapchat…? Absolutely not! It’s overwhelming.I’m lucky that most of the things I do online are related and can be grouped together in a ‘personal brand’, so I’ve recently changed my strategy to mainly running only one Facebook business page and one Instagram account. I’d rather be able to focus on one or two channels and give them the attention and effort they need than to spread myself thin over multiple channels and end up neglecting them all.Instagram is most relevant to my core audience. I’d be quite happy just using it.Make coming up with post ideas a breezeEver get the feeling that you should post something but you don’t know what so you give it a few seconds thought and then put it back on the to-do list to be ignored for another day? I do the easy stuff on the list first and then procrastinate instead of doing the difficult tasks. But I still feel like I’ve accomplished something! You know..It’s all about making it easy. I have a list of different post types for my social channels that I can mix up and have a constant variety of different post ideas. For example, my Instagram account’s list is:Prints on the wall / customer photosQuality water photographsLifestyle phone photos (behind the scenes)GoPro clips of surfingPhotos taken of me surfingI combine having a list of different post types with keeping an eye on competitors and industry leaders in my niche for inspiration on how they use social media. I’m never stuck for ideas!It’s also a good idea to keep a couple posts in reserve so if you’re having a slow week (normally for me when there are no waves), you’ll still have something to post.Make it as easy as possible to make a postIf you make posting on social media easy you’re more likely to actually do it. We’ve all got our phones on us all the time, so if you’re not setting a restrictively high bar on quality you can have a convenient and quick process from idea to post.For phone photos, I do a quick edit on my phone using Snapseed and then post directly to Instagram. I’ll do the same for Facebook. I have a Twitter account but it’s not my favourite platform by a long way so I’ve set up a Zapier process to automate posting my Instagram posts to Twitter. I don’t think this is ideal but if it means I post more and spend less time on social media then I’ll take it! I can still make posts unique to Twitter if I have a post that suits that platform better (like blog posts!).You can make use of other online tools to make the process easier as well depending on your needs. I’ve used Buffer in the past and I found it helpful for scheduling posts on multiple platforms in advance.Once your post is done, it’s doneI can’t help it. When I post something I’ll check over and over on how it’s being received. Likes, comments, shares. Refresh. Likes, comments, shares. I’m trying hard not to do this.It’s worth remembering that when it’s done it’s done. It’s just one social post in a constant stream of thousands of posts all over the world. There are apparently 500 million Tweets sent each day or 6000 every second.I like to think of Twitter as a big theatre completely filled with people all screaming their opinions out and ignoring everyone else.Just let it go and get on with something else!Keep a schedule / content calendarThis is something I’ve not yet committed to for social media as my channels are more in the vein of a ‘personal brand’. I’m getting away with posting whenever I have shareable content from the various things I do. But it would allow the right kind of small business to set aside a little time every week or month to schedule all their social posts at once. That would be a significant timesaver and almost guarantee consistency.Consider hiring someone to helpAt the end of the day, you can spend as much or as little time on social media as you like. But to do it well, spending more time intelligently is the way forward. If your business or project is making money it’s worth considering the cost of the time you spend updating your social media channels. Could you spend your time better elsewhere? It could well be worth hiring a freelancer to do some or all the work for you. But then you’d have to give up some control..As small business owners, we often have a perfectionist, almost obsessive, personality type. We do all the work and make everything happen ourselves. We are extremely invested in our own success. Combine that with social media and you have a dangerous combination when it comes to mental health. Find a balance that suits you.Here’s an interesting piece from Forbes about social media fatigue in small business owners.This was originally a blog post which you can read in full here if you are interested: https://surfpreneur.co/stay-consistent-social-media-marketing/Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you've found this helpful. This is a problem I'm always battling with as I'm not really a social media person. I see it as a necessary evil as opposed to a guilty pleasure or anything like that.I'd love to hear different opinions on how you folks deal with social media fatigue or burnout and stay consistent? Cheers!

[frogsandfries]

I'm just sitting here, so here's some more thoughts related to everything going on right now.

So after getting the mattress out of storage as close to first thing as possible, and I'd been hungry since last night, but it was too late to eat by the time I got hungry.

We walked past a dude pushing a cart full of garbage and I mentioned something about being more efficient if he discarded the garbage and my partner reminded me that that was us for a minute. Being reminded of a brief flicker of my life (I mean, compared to how many months I've stayed with my parents in shelters), that actually reminded me more deeply of those times I stayed in shelters with my family.

And it makes it so much more important that I've finally got a good job that won't be total hell on my asthma, it pays just about the most I've ever made. I've got an awesome apartment in a lovely neighborhood. This HAS to work. I'm this close, this close. To building--for myself--a life that I would be happy to start my parenting career in.

I guess I should give my thanks where thanks is due. We're about two weeks to three months ahead of where I would be if I was working on my own--it probably would've taken me three months to get an apartment in the first place and another two weeks to get all the phone calls and registrations and paperwork done. My thinking would have been, I have all this time between moving and starting work. It'll get done. I'll do one thing today and two things tomorrow, take the third day off.

I don't perform under stress.

Stress makes me want to procrastinate. If I procrastinate, the stress will magically go away. Right? Right?!? Or if it doesn't go away, I just have to get everything done rghtnwgtitdn.

Structured stress in an environment like work or education is fine for me. It's kinda pretend for me, because it has real deadlines and I clock out of it at the end of the day and get to go home.

I also don't enjoy a forty hour work week. It doesn't work for me. When am I supposed to take care of myself? When am I supposed to make my meals? When am I supposed to go grocery shopping? When am I supposed to engage in stimulating recreation?

I'm not sorry that I'm self-centered. No one else in my entire life cares about my success or happiness. The handful of people left who DO care?? They're in as tight a situation as I am.

This is my time. This is my one life raft out of the quicksand of a lifetime of poverty. This is my one chance as an "unskilled" worker, to earn good money for relatively easy work (compared to, say, stripping and waxing floors, or manufacturing plastics).

And I have poor judgement. I want time to suss out any red flags that I might have overlooked. I want time to suss out red flags in my relationship. I want to suss out red flags in my job. I want to suss out red flags in my apartment. Everything looks rosy for the first month--then shit gets real. For example, I'm not entirely sure that moving into an apartment, feeling entirely financially responsible for caring for the space--keeping the space clean while making the space home, implementing my wishes and expectations--will not be the end of this relationship.

And if he takes the money I've been giving him and decides not to participate in the relationship--I'm stuck. I'm stuck with soda and spaghetti and yogurt in the carpet. I'm stuck cleaning the shoe filth up and paying for the air conditioning to be turned all the way up. And then I have to figure out how to work out my bills when I receive my first check. If there's ever a time when he needs to leave, he's more than free to do so. I can't afford to get evicted. I can't afford to just leave. My paychecks are the only reason we have this place and they're the only way I'm going to keep this place.

I'm not sure I'm ever going to fully trust.

I've been betrayed over and over and over by people who I thought I could trust.

My own father.

The one man in the entire world who I should be able to trust and turn to over and over, for the rest of his life.

I called him today and reminded him that I need to know how much it's going to cost to ship a package that I'm waiting for, out of my stuff.

I could send him fifty bucks and tell him keep the change. And he'll take the whole fifty and I'll still be waiting for my package. Even if it would've cost ten bucks to send the package. I don't even know that fifty would be enough. Either way, I can't trust him to send a package that would mean a lot for me to have. Yes, over time, I want him to send me more packages of my stuff. Over time, I'm willing to send him money to send my polyclay and my pens.

But I can't even trust him to get my stuff to me. As a child, I couldn't rely on him to get me socks without him getting angry at me. As a teen, I couldn't rely on my dad to help me gain my own autonomy.

If I can't trust the man who fought for three years to have his family back under his roof, who can I trust?

I've busted my ass since I started college. I lived for my education--not only because it was supposed to better my life, but because learning in a communicative and collaborative community, where I can watch others succeed and fail and learn from that and participate in that give and take--that brought me real joy. I never wanted to skip class. I never wanted to take a day off. If that was a job, I'd probably still be doing it--and working overtime six days a week, ten months a year. I definitely burned out, too, but I bounced back quickly because I was serious and I was passionate.

I sat with my ex and had a serious discussion about my expectations for a relationship and those expectations were completely blown off. My expectations were betrayed. And yes, my current partner and I had a similar discussion about the expectations we have for this relationship. And yes, by lingering on this on the side of caution, I am betraying my current partner's expectations. I honestly don't know how to cause a resolution between the two except to wait and see things through.

I obviously don't want to use a child to force his support and companionship, but I think that's just about the only time I'm going to entirely trust that at least he'll stick around to help raise our child. Any support in a situation like that, where maybe he's clearly no longer interested, would be for the child. And if he continues to care about me at least as much as he cares for the child, then I guess I'm going to have to believe him. Until such a time, I genuinely don't know and I'm willing to trust day by day.

I don't think I've had enough time.

We just got this apartment. Like, practically yesterday. Currently, I'm the only one who has a job. I'm working really hard to focus on how much time he's putting in to making this work, rather than focusing on how little time he has left to work on getting a job. It IS good enough that at least one of us has a job to make this work. It won't kill me to back off a little and give him some time to find a job, now that we're in the city.

I'm not ready to give my literal time, in the form of money, to pay freaking rent yet. I'm not ready to give my time away like that. That's my money, and I take great pride in earning the things that I want. My Build-a-Bear. My nice clothes. My awesome tablet. I have a lot of plans for my money.

Obviously, I'm going to feel bad if I'm getting everything I need and my partner isn't getting things he needs. I intend to help.