#i've been playing no turning back on repeat for god knows how long. as you do

[nikoisme]

Hector's voice in paris the musical has altered my brain chemistry significantly

[baeshijima]

— one more time

jing yuan has always considered himself to be a patient man, never failing to have a plan in mind and out of sight for unforeseeable circumstances. when it comes to matters involving you, however, he finds that he never has the time to think; not when he acts quicker than he can process.

CONTAINS : gn!reader, 1k wc, fluff, kissing, very much pining jing yuan

A/N : holds this man gently as i stare at him doing his idles with big wide eyes and tears rolling down my cheeks (also yes this is me using the "idk how to kiss" "then i will teach u" trope as an excuse to write a kissing jing yuan fic bc i am delusional and proud🐥)

when jing yuan was reciting his usual pep-talk as he made his way to your decided meet-up spot (which included, but was not limited to: stay calm, cool, and composed— the triple-c, if you will — and don't make a fool of yourself, jing yuan), he figured the cosy picnic (date) arrangement would go smoothly and without a hitch. you would be there bathed in the artificial sunlight, fingers threading through blades of grass and then you would turn at the rhythm of his footsteps, that signature grin of yours on full display as he would attempt to calm his thunderous heart from spilling saccharine confessions accumulated over the last few centuries.

like always.

but very much unlike now, it seems.

in place of the predicted events he'd conjured up beforehand, the words “i don't know how to kiss” welcome him instead. (he just barely catches himself before the picnic basket in his grip goes tumbling across the grass.)

“...what?”

“right?” you huff, seated on the grass with your arms supporting your weight while bathed in the artificial sunlight of the luofu. “i've lived for this long, and yet i have never kissed anyone! wait, or maybe it's because no one wants to kiss me... am i that unkissable?”

“no!” is the immediate rebuttal which springs forth to the tip of his tongue, but he just barely catches himself. he's planned thousands, probably millions, of ways in which he could confess to you, but the timing has never been quite right. that, or the times where he was about to confess were interrupted; sometimes by some last minute calls, other times where he just misses the timing, but usually by yanqing unceremoniously barging in between you.

this time isn't any different either, because it is simply not quite right. there's something — something imperceptible yet obvious in the back of his mind, giving him the go-ahead on the perfect time to bleed nothing but the pure, unadulterated adoration you've inflicted upon him.

this time isn't any different either, but his mind goes blank, a clarity he has never felt before driving his senses.

“i'll teach you.”

it's a sudden offer, one he doesn't really know where he got the confidence to offer it from, and yet something about your stunned expression and his unusually calm heart seems... right.

“...you know how to kiss?”

“i know more than you do,” he counters. a triumphant grin tugs the corners of his lips when your mouth instantly clams shut at his words.

he waits for your response with baited breath. will you agree? will you refuse his, painfully obvious, advance? oh god what should he do if you say no? play it off as a joke? tease you for considering it? walk away in shame and cry about it—?

“alright then,” you say, and he blinks once, twice. “it's not like i have anything to lose.”

...is this a dream?

apparently not, as he now finds himself seated in front of you with the artificial sunlight doing little to help fend off the heat blooming along his skin. your eyes are closed with your body leaning towards him in baited anticipation, but his gaze hones in on the clench-unclench of your fists and your stiff posture.

unable to contain himself, he chuckles, “someone's a little tense.”

“ugh, cut me some slack! you're my first, so of course i'm nervous.”

your first. he's your first. yours. he's yours.

it's almost like a mantra the way he repeats your words (as well as varying renditions of them), one which does little to keep his waning self-restraint intact.

with a sharp inhale, he cradles your chin between his thumb and forefinger, lifting your head slightly to align better with his. if this were him any other day, he would have merely brushed this moment off as another one of his fantasies; an untouchable perception of what he wishes could be his.

this is not any other day, however, as jing yuan is hyper-aware of your light breaths fanning against his lips, the faint brush of his nose against yours, and your familiar scent which curls into him.

you, you, you. you are all he feels, all he can think of, even more so when he finally pushes forward into your awaiting silence and slots his lips against yours. it's a perfect fit, he thinks in what little room he allows for thought when preoccupied with your overflowing warmth and the taste of you on his tongue and the sheer euphoria which bubbles up when you hold onto him in response to his hands sliding up to cup your cheeks and holding you close.

he wonders if you can feel his centuries' worth of repressed affection from this exchange — if you can feel the desperation coursing through his veins as he leans into your touch. he already knows it's impossible though, for his love runs far too deep to be conveyed in just one singular moment.

“did you get that?” there's an ache in his heart when you part for air, but it's quickly forgotten when you blindly chase after him.

“one more time,” you whisper against his lips, his heart surging up his throat at your half-dazed eyes and tightening grip on his clothes. “i think you need to show me one more time.”

his waning self-restraint snaps.

“look at me,” he whispers back, voice hoarse with pent-up desire. his hands tilt your head up, guiding your gaze to align with his once more. before you can let a word slip through it's smothered, his lips crashing onto yours in an instant as he finds himself more determined than ever to leave you breathless with his adoration and have you focus solely on him.

if you enjoyed this, then reblogs with/or comments are greatly appreciated !! <33

[mythicmanuscripts]

Sensitive!Jace is canon to me now!

Could you write something about edging him? I feel like he would be really into it to prolong the high as much as possible before having to come down, but he'd also be so impatient about it like begging and tearing up a bit because he wants to finish yk?

That + some teasing like asking him what he wants even though he can barely form coherent sentences, let alone make up his mind

Amazing idea anon!! I absolutely love this idea oh my god. I also love how we're all obsessed with sensitive!Jace, it is cannon to me too now.

Anyway, soft, NSFW sub!Jace below the cut!!

I've discussed this with other asks before but it definitely bares repeating: Jace would have discovered edging on his own and not even know what it was? He just knows that it feels so good and if he stops before he cums then he doesn't get that horrific comedown afterwards. However, it was also playing with fire because if he did cum it would be so much more intense and he'd be left panting and crying for over an hour afterwards. He also had to be careful because any stimulation soon after that at all could make him cum and send him spiralling.

(Sidenote: I'm now picturing a situation where Jace edges himself before the wedding because he's far too horny to do nothing. When he stops for the last time, he just lays there for a while trying to make sure he doesn't accidentally cum. But then he gets out of bed to change into sleep-clothes and while he's doing this, his shirt grazes his cock and then next thing he knows he's collapsing on the floor and cumming so hard he can't even get up for a while. Maybe after this he panics and goes to you? Or even calls a servant to fetch you and you find him on the floor, still unable to get up? Just a thought lads... Anyway back to the actual ask!!)

It takes Jace a few months to admit he likes that, and I think maybe it only gets admitted when you two are talking? You're laying in bed with him, with Jace on his side to face you.

You're discussing how you can help him better after he cums and so you ask him what he used to do when he touched himself, and that's when he blushes deep red and tells you about how he used to touch himself and then stop before he came.

Immediately you ask if that's something he'd be interested in doing with you, where you edge him. He's nodding pretty much instantly, and then burying his head in your shoulder because he's gotten all flustered. You chuckle and wrap your arm around him, turning onto your back and taking you with him so that he's on top of you.

You ask him again, and he just whines and stays where he is, clearly embarrassed and very very flustered. You've been with him for long enough now that you know as much as he gets all blushy and squirmy, he absolutely LOVES being lovingly teased like that. He feels so nice and warm.

You feel him nod against your neck, and then you feel more than hear him mumble something. You ask him to repeat himself, and whines again before lifting his head just enough to say, "Would be nice, as long... you'll be there after, right?"

Which, you'd die for him actually.

You give him a little squeeze and turn you head to kiss his cheek, "Of course," you tell him, kissing his cheek again before saying, "Always, I'd never make you recover alone, you know that."

You can feel him smile against your neck, and you slip your hand under his shirt to run your nails up and down his back. You feel the way his entire body shivers and he relaxes into you, letting you rub his back. Jace just... absolutely loves being petted? Laying in bed with you and letting you love on him.

Pretty soon you feel he's starting to get hard, which isnt at all surprising considering what you had been discussing and how you're gently scratching his back.

"Wanna give it a try?" you ask him, kissing his cheek when he lifts his head up.

You feel him nod against your neck, and also feel that he's starting to rock his hips to get some friction. As much as you want to just turn him over and play with him, you also want to tease him a little because he's clearly all soft and flustered and in the perfect headspace for it.

You tell him if he wants it then he has to ask for it, and he immediately whines and tries to hid in your neck, grinding down against the bed harder. You give the hair at the nape of his neck a light tug and ask the question again. He tries his best to answer you, but he also can barely form sentences.

He slips into subspace so easily. He's all warm and safe in bed with you, feeling your hands all over, knowing you'll make him feel amazing. He lifts his head and looks up at you and you see that teary look in his eyes that lets you know he's floating.

You flip him over then, and start playing with him. He's so sweet, squirming and whimpering as you palm him through his underclothes. When you remove his clothes, he’s rock hard.

You settle between his thighs, gently stroking his cock before taking him in your mouth until he’s crying out and saying he’s close. He’s so pretty, tears streaming down his face as he begs and pleads, but he’s also thanking you the whole way because it feels so so good.

He keeps on begging to cum but then thanking you every time you edge him because it prolongs the pleasure and it feels amazing.

When you finally give him permission to cum, he actually tells you to stop. You’re confused, and obviously you pull away immediately and ask what’s wrong.

It takes him a few minutes to stop crying enough to speak and then he asks you to come sit up the top of the bed with him. You ask what he means and he blushes and whines and then eventually says, “Wanna, wanna be held when I cum. Please?”

There’s no way in hell you’re denying that request so you quickly shuffle up the bed and pull him close. You wrap your arm around his shoulder to keep him close and then lift his one leg up and hook it over your lap so you have full access to stroke him.

He cums like that, crying out and burying his head in your shoulder. He’s so sweet, shaking and whining. The moment it’s over you quickly remove your hand. You know how sensitive Jace is at the best of times and now that you’ve edged him you’re sure it’s even worse.

He ends up curled up sideways on your lap, his entire body shaking. You just rub his back and kiss his neck, whispering praise into his ear. He eventually just collapses against you, not an ounce of tension anywhere in his body as he just breathes deep.

When he opens his eyes again, he looks up at you with this lazy smile and it’s just so so clear that he’s so happy?? Yeah he’s sensitive and definitely vulnerable, but he’s in bed with you, in your arms, he knows he’ll be just fine.

[jjongslutz]

it’s jake birthdays and im imagining jay deciding to get jake the best birthday present ever so he lets jake have his way jays pretty gf who jake always not so subtly eyes her cleavage and thighs 👀

thank you for the request 🫶 admittedly not my best work but i hope it's okay for his day!!!

you'd be blind to not realize jay's best friend eye-fucking you from across the room whenever the three of you are together. your boyfriend noticed it too, how could he not?

at first, he'd get angry. "does he think he's better than me? that he knows how to treat you better than i do?" over time, though, he started flaunting it. jake couldn't have you. you were his and only his.

but jay's a good friend, and jake's always polite with his stares. when he notices your eyes on him, he'll divert his gaze in a second. "jake?" you'd say, and he would smile politely as if nothing. he's a good guy

so when jake's twenty-first birthday comes around, as special a date as ever, jay knows what to get him. "keep your eyes closed."

"man, okay, they're closed. just don't make me run into the wall or something."

jay guides his friend into the bedroom, but all jake sees is darkness behind his closed eyes. he hears the door close behind him and cheatingly peeks through squinted eyes to see, but he's met with more darkness.

he panics for a second when he feels jay move away from him, relaxing when he hears the click of a lamp turning on. "open," jay says.

jake would've thought jay brought him to heaven with the sight in front of him.

you, sat on his bed, wearing nothing but revealing black lingerie, with a pretty little present bow sat atop your head, looking up at him with the prettiest doe eyes. "hi jake," you say sweetly.

he doesn't even need to ask what's happening, he just goes for it. kneeling over your body, he smashes your lips together in a hungry kiss. he's been dreaming about this far too long to waste any time.

jay chuckles at the scene playing out in front of him. "you two have fun," he says, and soon enough you hear the sound of the door shutting echoing behind his footsteps.

without a response, jake's hands eagerly land on your breasts, dragging a moan out of you as he squeezes them gently. he keeps feeling you up as your hands mess around wherever they land; squeezing his biceps, griping at his shirt, trailing down his torso.

not breaking away from the kiss, jake pushes both of your body's down against the bed. "fuck, where are the condoms?"

"already?" you tease. "no patience, pretty boy..." you trail off while gesturing toward the side table where jay generously left a packet of condoms and some lube.

jake raises a brow at the lube, his eyeliner drifting down to your dripping cunt.

okay, maybe you spent your time dreaming about what would happen between the two of you while waiting for jay to bring him—and maybe that got you too excited to wait for him, and maybe, just maybe, you got off on just the thought of it before he even got here.

"no patience, pretty girl," he repeats your words teasingly. "i guess i don't really need to, but god, i've always wanted to feel your pussy against my fingers."

your breath hiccups. "please."

he smiles from above, not warning you before he plunges two fingers into your cunt. you whine against the feeling of them stretching you out.

his hands are bigger than yours, clearly, and they hit right where you need them most.

you can't help but compare the way jake curls his fingers inside of you versus jay who thrusts them while playing with your clit. both of them have you rolling your eyes back and arching your back within seconds.

"mmm, so good," you mumble nonsense as jake twirls his fingers and tickles your pussy's walls from within. god, he really knows how to work them. he's experienced, and now you're starting to regret how long it took you to do this.

"are you close?" jake asks, conveniently curling his fingers in just the right way to interrupt your response with a loud cry. "yeah?" he teases.

"yes—fuck, yes!"

then, you're losing all sense of pleasure as he pulls his fingers out of you. dejectedly, you whine. "whyyyy" drawing out the syllable and weakly reaching out your hand to try to bring his back to you.

jake's going back to the side table and ripping open the condom pack. simultaneously, he's sliding off his belt and zipping down his jeans, and god it's making you miss his fingers the way he works them so effortlessly.

your eyes widen as his rock hard cock slaps against his shirt, staining where it hit with the precum lathered on his tip. he's not huge, daresay, but he's long and decently thick. you lick your lips at the sight, hoping for a later opportunity to have it down your throat, too.

he chuckles at your expression, meeting your eyes from above. "like what you see?" he strokes it a couple times for emphasis, before rolling the condom over his cock and stroking it again.

at a loss for words, you hum at him absentmindedly. instinctively, your legs spread more widely to grant him full access to your pussy.

"good girl," jake says, grabbing onto your thighs to lift them over his shoulders. he leans in with his dick in his hand, finally lining up against your entrance, but pauses to look you in the eye again. his gaze turned softer, as if to ask permission. you grant it by nodding and leaning up to pull him into another kiss.

you moan against his lips as you feel his cock entering you slowly. he pulls away with a string of saliva still connecting the two of you, breathing heavily at the feeling of your cunt around his skin.

he's thought about this, had dreams about this, but never knew how good it would feel until now.

"fuck," he whispers, and all hell breaks loose.

signs of courtesy drop in an instant as he slams his hips forward, pushing his cock deep into your pussy. his thrusts are harsh, leaving no room for you to take a breath between them when they're taking your breath away with each rhythmic movement.

"so good, right there, fuck!" your mind is completely empty safe for jake, jake, jake. his cock has you sputtering nonsensical phrases, praising him and encouraging him in hopes of him never stopping. you want to be entirely entrapped in nothing but him.

"i've been waiting so long," jake musters into your ear. "so long, you have no idea—" he interrupts himself with a low groan. your back arches as he thrusts again. "fuck, thank you."

you can't even process his words as his movements lose their rhythm, turning into sporadic thrusts as he gets closer to his high. you're close too, already feeling it from your first orgasm of the night, then being ripped away of your second just earlier.

"thank you," he gasps, pulling out only to slam back into you with full force. "thank you, thank you," he repeats. jake's hand finds its way back to your breasts, fondling them as he pushes in and out of you.

his whimpers ring throughout the room, melodically in tune with your moans as the two of you move your hips in sync. you hope jay is outside the door recording them, just to play them back later on.

"you gonna cum?" and at your approving hum, he tells you, "cum for me."

so, you do.

your pussy clenching around his cock is enough to send him over the edge, coming undone into the condom. later on you'll be glad he put it on, but in the moment you wish there was nothing separating you from his spilling seed.

he doesn't pull out right away, collapsing onto you and burying his head into the crook of your neck. you laugh softly at his cuddliness following his orgasm, but you can't help but mirror his behaviour by lowering your legs and wrapping them around his hips to bring him closer.

between battered breaths, you leave a gentle kiss against jake's head. you whisper against his ear, "happy birthday."

your eyes drift toward the clock on the wall. jay will be back in any minute, but you're sure he won't mind finding you in this intimate position with his best friend....

[koji-haru]

Time Travel Au Part: 3

Michael did find Lucifer and Lilith. He also reminded them of their assigned roles in Eden. Unfortunately, he didn't catch them do anything that would warrant their banishment from Eden.

Maybe next time.

Adam laid on his stomach on the grass, hands folded under his chin, feet swinging in the air as he watched Lilith and Lucifer getting a lecture from Michael. Both their gazes were turned down, a sullen look painted on both of their faces. It was obvious they didn't care for Michael's sermon, and were only sorry for being noticed. Adam hoped that Michael does more than notice one day. The sooner they were gone, the sooner he can truly enjoy the paradise God had made for him.

“Lucifer, the reason you're allowed in Eden is to watch over the humans. BOTH humans.”

“Lilith, although you're the newest here, you should already know better than to stall the plan God has made for you.”

And so and so…

After a few more minutes, Michael ended his lecture, turning towards Adam. Noticing that Michael was heading his direction, Adam quickly wiped the smug grin off his face, and replaced it with a concerned look.

Michael crouched in front of Adam. “I've talked to them. You wouldn't be left alone again.”

Adam beamed at Michael. “Really? Thank you so much Michael!”

Too bad I'd actually prefer if they left me alone. Permanently.

Michael gave a final stern look at both Lucifer and Lilith, and once satisfied, took off to the skies.

Left on his own, Adam turned his attention back to both victims of Michael's scolding. He stood up, dusting himself a bit.

“Well, it's getting dark. Want to get dinner together?”

He gave a slight smile, head tilted to the side. The last rays of the day dipped lower and lower behind him, his golden eyes seemingly glowed under the shadow he casted.

—

A few days have passed since then. Michael's scolding had only taught both Lilith and Lucifer to be sneakier, Lilith and Adam’s relationship only broke further apart, and while Lucifer tried to be more present for Adam, Adam always seemed to be preoccupied with others things to pay any attention to him. Lucifer would ask questions about what his new inventions, and Adam would always answer politely but brief, often leaving no space for further conversation until Lucifer decided to fly away.

Today Adam was going to finish making his acoustic guitar. One of the few times he actually sought out Lucifer was to ask about instruments, hoping to get a guitar. To his disappointment, the guitar wasn't something the angels made, and they only knew of (for now) of fiddles, lutes and harps. While Adam knew how to play every instrument to have existed, the guitar was always his favourite. And so, he painstakingly carved himself a guitar, making progress day by day.

He gave the strings a test strum before deciding to play a tune. It was a song he made for Eve to comfort her after they got casted out of Eden.

He closed his eyes playing the song, trying to feel tune as it came back to him. It had been a very long time since he played the song. Sure, he played songs for other people, he had his concerts, requests from both winners and heavenborn, and of course he always played for his girls. But this song, he only played it for Eve and his children.

Memories came flooding back to him, both bitter and sweet. Tender moments with Eve under the moon, a campfire birthday celebration, Cain's banishment… He missed them all dearly, but was he willing to leave paradise just to have them again? What if history repeats itself once he leaves Eden? Cain killing Abel and his banishment, his children getting sick and dying before him, struggling everyday just to get by. No. He refused to relive that. Despite the good that came with Eve and their children, he refuses to suffer in life again. This time he will be himself first. This time he will be selfish. Even if Eve bites the forbidden fruit again. He will remain in the paradise made for him. After a lifetime of hardship he deserved it. Those moments with Eve will just have to remain as memories.

Lost in his song, Adam didn't notice the approaching presence behind him until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Adam.”

Adam jolted awake from his reverie, turning to see who disturbed him.

“Oh. Hi Michael. What brings you here?”

“I came to inspect the garden,” he paused, before making his way in front of Adam.

“I called out to you a few times.”

Michael scanned over Adam, checking for anything wrong. Sure, he still believed that God can not make mistakes, but he noticed that Adam sometimes didn't respond to calls of attention. In fact, that was the first thing he did since he was made. And from what he heard from Lucifer, the first man always seemed to be preoccupied, at least mentally, and muttering incomprehensible things. Then there was Lilith. So perhaps while perfect, the first humans had some ‘quirks’ he couldn't yet fully understand.

“Oh, I guess didn't hear you.”

Michael remained in front of Adam, still scrutinising him. He was sure he called out loud enough to be heard.

Fuck. Have I been too reckless?

Lucifer and Lilith, he knew how to get around them, to do as he pleased without being too suspicious. But Michael, well, he was never that close with the angel, and so he didn't know how he worked.

“I was trying out this new instrument I made. I call it the guitar,” Adam presented his newly crafted guitar to Michael, a proud look on his face.

Michael took a glance at the guitar, and then around Adam. “Lilith is not with you?”

Adam shook his head.

“And Lucifer..?

“Both of them said they had other things to do…” Adam looked down, one hand on the back of his neck, trying to look sheepish.

Michael shook his head and released a disappointed sigh, and as he was about to leave, Adam stopped him.

“Do you want to listen to me play a song?”

Adam looked up from his spot on the ground, a small, shy smile across his face. He couldn't let Michael leave just like that, now that he was here. This was his opportunity to observe the angel, to understand how his cogwheels turn, and hopefully get him on his side when the time comes.

Michael seemed to hesitate for a moment, before tucking away his six wings and taking a spot beside Adam. He turned to Adam, crystal blue eyes offering him his full sincere attention.

“I did say you wouldn't be left alone again.”

[Guitarhero is a go!!!]

Part 2

Part 4

[tothosewholisten]

Forever Healed | TUA insert

Chapter: 05

<<previous chapter | next chapter>>

Masterlist

…

Five and I discussed our new plan on the way back to the academy.

“We need to go back, now.” Five insisted as he paced around his bedroom.

I stood by the door trying to distance myself from the angry teen.

“I know..” I pause. “But you already saw how demanding works. And also you're a kid, of course they didn't take you seriously.”

“Why is this eye so important anyway?” I ask.

He huffs. “Whoever has this eye brings upon the end of the world. I need to figure out who it is.”

Every time Five repeats that the world is ending I try to ignore it. But with the D-day getting closer and closer I realize I need to do a few things on my bucket list.

“We need someone else.” He mutters, breaking me out of my thoughts.

He's right, our story wasn't convincing at all. You need a strong narrative to get information out of suckers. So we need a dramatic person who can play a part.

Suddenly it dawned on me. We need-

..

“You know, I am so thrilled to join your guys' spy mission! It's just like old times.” Klaus reminisced with sappy tears in his eyes.

“I don't think we've ever done this.” Five retorts.

I know that the boy wasn't the most excited about getting help from Klaus but I told him if Klaus puts his mind to it, we're getting that information.

Five and I went over to the dining room where Klaus was snoring on the couch. In his underwear.

At first he wouldn't get up, that was until Five offered him twenty dollars and he bolted upstairs to get ready. We trailed after him back to Five’s room where he was waiting on Five's bed.

I love Klaus but his outfit choices have always been questionable even when we were teens.

“What are you wearing?” I asked disgustedly.

I did not receive an answer because Five heard a noise and peered his head out the door.

An annoyed look on his face appeared when he turned back around to us. “Vanya's here. Klaus hide.” He whispers.

Klaus gets up from the bed and dashes around the room, looking for anywhere that's big enough to fit his lanky body. I point to Five's closet.

He contorts himself to fit inside and closes the door behind him. Just in time too because Vanya walks into the room.

“Thank god, I was worried sick about you two.” She expressed her uneasiness.

I frowned. “Sorry, we left without saying goodbye.” If only I wasn't dragged by that little boy I would've loved to talk to her more.

“No look. I'm the one who should be sorry.” Vanya turns to Five. “Yeah, I was dismissive, and I– I guess I couldn't process what you were saying. And I still can't to be honest.” She stutters out.

I couldn't tell if it was an act but Five’s face turned almost sad. “Maybe you were right to be dismissive.” He says.

I'm not sure where this acting was when we were at Meritech. But I match his hurt look.

“Maybe it wasn't real after all. It felt real. Well like you said, the old man did say time travel could contaminate the mind.” Five continued.

Five is interrupted by a loud crash that comes from the closet. I ran over to stand in front of it trying to distract from the noises Klaus was making as they kept talking.

“Then maybe I'm not the right person for you to be talking to. Look, I used to see someone. A therapist, I could give you her information.” Vanya shares.

Five is quick to feign a smile. “No thanks, but I think I'm just going to get something to eat. It's been a long time since I've had good food.”

Vanya nods and steps back out of the room.

As soon as Five goes back to the door to make sure that she is gone, the warm look on his face disappears and his permanent scowl returns instead.

The closet behind me starts to shake and I take a step away hoping that Klaus doesn't decide to fall on me.

His curled body leaps out of the closet. “That was so… touching!” He trips over fallen junk from the closet. “All that stuff about family and Dad and time. Wow!”

“Will you shut up, she'll hear you.” He yells.

“I'm moist.”

“What the hell Klaus.” I scoot further away from him.

Five takes a moment to look him up and down. “I thought I told you to put on something professional.”

The outfit he put on was a green button-up shirt with frilly red-lined sleeves. Honestly atrocious.

“What? This is my nicest outfit.” Klaus cries.

“Let's go look at the old man's closet,” I suggest pushing Klaus out of the room.

Five groans before following us out.

“As long as I get paid,” Klaus exclaims.

“When the job is done.”

He stops us. “Okay, but just so we're clear on the finer details. I just gotta go into this place and pretend to be your dear old Dad. Correct?”

“Yeah, something like that,” I replied.

“What's our cover story then?”

“What? What are you talking about?” Five gives him a puzzled look.

“I mean, was I really young when I had y/n? Like, 16? Like, young and terribly misguided. Then yada yada some years later you came along, Five.” Klaus rambles putting his hands on his chest.

“Sure.”

“Your mother, that slut.. whoever she was. We met at.. oh! The disco.”

I cackle at Klaus’s backstory but Five couldn't look more concerned.

“Remember that.” The man snaps. “Oh, my god, the sex was amazinggg.”

“What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain.” Five turns to go down the stairs.

Klaus holds out his pointer like a stern dad. “Don't make me put you into time out.” He yells.

..

“Like I said to your son and daughter?” The same doctor questions us from before.

We arrived at the same part of the building but this time the man had the decency to bring us to his office.

“Yes, these are my children,” Klaus replies affirmatively.

He now had on one of Reginald's many suits; it made him look the part.

“Yeah, can't you tell?” My hand messaging my temple as I throw that in, trying to mask my sarcasm, cause well none of us looked alike.

“Well, like I told your children earlier, any information about the prosthetics we build is strictly confidential.” The man emphasizes each word to us like we are all babies.

Klaus sat in a chair across from the man's desk and I sat in the other, but Five stood up in the middle of us with his hands on the doctor's glass desk. Getting ready for round two of his yelling match.

“Without the client's consent. I simply can't help you.”

“Well, we can't get consent if you don't give us a name.” Five yells.

The doctor looks defeated. “Well, that's not my problem.”

I’m sure Five wished his powers were laser eyes instead of teleportation because of how he was staring at the man so intensely.

“Sorry. Now, there's really nothing more I can do, so–”

Klaus looked up from his lap. “And what about my consent?”

“Excuse me?”

Everyone turns to look at him.

“Who gave you permission… to lay your hands on my son?” Klaus cried.

“What?” Five, the doctor and I all say at once.

“You heard me.”

“I didn't touch your son.” The man states matter of factly.

Klaus slowly gets up from his chair “Oh, really? Well, how did he get that swollen lip then?”

“He doesn't have a swollen-”

The man didn't have time to finish his sentence because Klaus suddenly swung at Five and slapped him in the mouth.

I hide my expression with my palm and watch.

He inhales sharply. “I want it. Name, please. Now.” He slaps his hands onto the doctor's desk.

The man stutters trying to think of something to say. “You're crazy.” He replies.

Klaus fakes a chuckle. “You got no idea.”

He picks up the snow globe on the man's desk. “Peace on earth? That's so sweet.” He reads out loud.

He then smashes the snow globe into his head causing everyone to let out a shriek as it breaks into tiny pieces. I cringe looking at all that blood on his head.

He screams out. “God that hurt.” Water from the snow globe dripped all over his face.

The man doesn't break eye contact with Klaus but hurryingly reaches for the telephone on his desk.

“I'm calling secur– what are you doing?” The man yells out but Klaus takes the telephone right from his sweaty hands.

“There's been an assault… in Mr. Big's office, and we need security, now. Schnell!” Klaus screams into the telephone before slamming it back onto its post.

He sighs. “Now, here's what's gonna happen, Grant.”

“It's… Lance.”

“In about sixty seconds two security guards are gonna burst through that door, and they're gonna see a whole lot of blood and wonder ‘What the hell happened?’ And we're gonna tell them that you… beat the shit out of us!” Klaus rambles.

“While making googly eyes at my young daughter!” He sobs.

Five stares at Klaus admirably.

“You're gonna do great in prison, Grant. Trust me, I've been there. A little piece of chicken like you. Oh my god, you're gonna get passed around like a…” He moves his hips in a circle to make a point.

Then shutters thinking back at old memories. “You're just– you're gonna do great. That's all I'm saying.”

Lance almost cries out looking at all of us. “Jesus, you are a real sick bastard.”

Klaus stares at him blankly. “Thank you.”

He spits out a piece of snow globe glass. The look on Five face is priceless, I'm for one so proud of Klaus right now. He never went Broadway but this was pretty close.

Lance rushes over to a long line of filing cabinets. Searching for the information that will satisfy us. Klaus sat on top of the cabinet making the doctor go even faster, fearing for his life.

“Oh, that's strange.” He says.

“What.” Five ask.

“Uh, the eye. It hasn't been purchased by a client yet.”

Klaus jumps off the cabinet and gets up into Lance's face. “What? What do you mean?” He whispers.

“Well, uh, our logs say that the eye with that serial number… This can't be right. It hasn't even been manufactured yet.” Lance looks up at Five. “Where did you get that eye?”

Five huffs. He walks away from all of us to the elevator and leaves us with Lance.

I grab onto Klaus to move him outside as he blows Lance a smooch before we go into the elevator as well.

We walk out of the building's doors when Five starts to talk again. “Well, this is not good.” He says.

“I was pretty good, though, right? ‘Yeah. What about my consent, bitch?” He laughs.

“Klaus, it doesn't matter.” The boy sighs and we stop walking.

“What? What, what's the big deal with this eye, anyways?” The hurt Klaus asks.

I grab onto the two men to heal them of their injuries before answering for Five who looks like he's about to explode.

“There's someone out there who's going to lose an eye in the next seven days. And they're gonna bring about the end of life on earth as we know it!” I say, rubbing my forehead.

“Yeah, can I get that twenty bucks, like, now, or what?”

I stare at my adopted brother with my brows furrowed. “You're not gonna question what I just said, at all?”

Five steps closer to him. “The apocalypse is coming and all you can think about is getting high?”

“Well, I'm also quite hungry. Tummies a rumblin.” Klaus wiggles his fingers to imitate grumbling.

“You're useless.” Five shakes his head while walking away from the two of us to sit on the building's steps.

“Oh come on, you need to lighten up old man!” Klaus mocks. I move from Klaus to sit near Five and listen to the rest of Klaus’s spiel.

“Hey, you know, I’ve just now realized why you're so uptight. You must be horny as hell!”

Klaus’s laughter is matched by my own as he sits next to us. “That’s not funny Klaus,” I reply still giggling. Five on the other hand wasn’t amused, he looked deep in thought not even staring in our direction.

“All those years by yourself, it's gotta screw with your head, being alone.”

Five concentration breaks, “well.” He starts. “I wasn't alone.” Klaus and I immediately go silent and stare at him.

“Spill,” I say.

“Her name was Delores. We were together for over thirty years.” The small bit of happiness on Five's face was very easy to see.

“Thirty years? Oh, wow!” Klaus chuckles. “God, the longest I've been with someone.. I didn't know for three weeks. And that's only because I was so tired from looking for a place to sleep.”

Klaus went on like that for a good five minutes rambling about his love life and how hard it was not having anywhere to stay. I yawned in desperate need of a break from whatever this was. And it looked like Five was ready to blink away.

I turned to him and signaled that we should leave by nudging my head to the busy road that was right in front of the building. He nods back at me.

“He did make the most fantastic osso buco, though. It was..”

Five takes hold of my sleeve and we blink from the steps into a taxi. “Don’t stop, just keep driving.” Five demands of the panicked driver.

“Hey! Where’d you guys go?” I hear Klaus yell as we drive past him. Five turns to the window and gives Klaus a wave that makes him instantly stand up and try to run over to us.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, what about my money?!” He shouts but we’re long gone by then. I would’ve felt bad if this wasn't so funny.

Five was bleak at times and angry, and a lot of other things but he had his fun moments. We missed a lot of time getting to know each other but, this made up for it.

“So where to now?” I ask.

“I am going to run, uh an errand. I'm dropping you off at the academy.”

“Sounds good to me.” I smile. I needed this break to rest today. It was exhausting. “Our adventures have been fun, we should do it again.”

He turns to me, “Oh yeah?”

I hum in response.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

The sky turned a vibrant shade of dark blue by the time we reached a familiar street, we were almost at the academy. I kinda wanted to join Five on his errand but I didn't say anything.

I paid the taxi driver the spare tens in my pocket for not freaking out and reminded myself that I'd pay Klaus tomorrow too. And walked up to the doors of the Umbrella Academy.

“Goodnight Five!” I call out as I open the front door. But I walked in before hearing his response, only hearing the sound of the taxi driving away.

..

I found myself in a spot I always went to when I needed to escape my ‘father’. It was a storage closet-like room that had a tiny balcony where Ben and I would hang out in the late hours of the night.

But now I was by myself and Ben was nowhere to be found. So I lit a cigarette and stared at the night sky. It’s a bad habit that I picked up during all my time with Klaus, It did help me calm my nerves though.

“Y/n?”

I turned around to see Alison in the doorway. A frown was painted on her beautiful face.

“It's good to see you, I didn't expect you to still be here.” She expressed while sitting down next to me.

“Me neither but I had a busy day chasing around a fifty-something-year-old. Thought I'd stay just to see what else happened around here. Or the truth could be I just kinda missed it around here, I'm not sure.”

Alison nodded. “I'm glad you're here, we haven’t really talked at all I've just been so busy with trying to get in touch with Claire and-“

I briefly cut her off. “Yeah, is everything okay with that?”

“My ex-husband, Patrick is trying to make it seem like I don’t care about this court stuff. Since I'm missing a session of mandated therapy.” She huffs.

“Can I have a cigarette?”

I reached into my black jacket pocket and pulled out the pack. Half of it was already empty but I just bought it before I came here, I guess I need more.

“Wouldn't the court recognize that as like, certain circumstances?” I ask.

“Yes! That’s what I tried to tell him. But he won't listen at all.” Alison groaned, holding the now-lit cigarette.

I smirk. “He sounds like an ass.”

“You don’t even know,” we both shared a good laugh.

“But,” she says while laughing. “What’s been going on with you? I know that's very broad because we haven’t seen each other since my wedding but, have you been doing anything new?”

I look forward to the pitch-black sky. “Yeah uhm, not much,”

Alison thinks for a moment, “Oh! I know. Whatever happened to your boyfriend? The guy you brought to my wedding.”

I froze, my mouth slightly open and the cigarette I held between my lips fell to the balcony floor. “Oh him..”

“Did something happen Y/n?”

“No no, we just broke up I guess.”

Alison grabs onto my hand, squeezing me tightly. “I'm so sorry.” She says.

It’s not that I forgot about my ex, no I couldn’t. I just liked to pretend that he was a part of my childhood nothing more. But in reality, we only broke up about half a year ago.

“We didn’t have the best relationship,” I told her. “He wasn't the nicest guy but I stayed. We were on and off but I officially broke up with him a couple of months ago.”

She fiddled with her curly hair. “I would’ve never been able to tell, he just seemed so nice at the time. I thought you guys were the perfect match. Y/n I'm so sorry, forget I brought him up.”

“It’s okay, I mean you didn't know,” I reassured the woman.

“If you need anything I'm always here for you, you know? I don’t think we were ever the closet but. I'm here for you.” Alison states.

I wasn't sure how to respond, this was all so surreal. Telling someone how I felt was like a boulder being lifted off my chest. I was comfortable enough to do it again.

“Thank you, Alison, I appreciate you.” I grinned

“Miss Alison, are you up here?” Pogo's voice called out. The ape walked into the room as dapper as ever in his suit. “Ah, Miss Y/n you’re up here too good.”

“I was looking for you.” He said to Alison.

We quickly put out our cigarettes and turned our attention to Pogo.

“How did you, uh.. How’d you know I was up here?” She asked.

“Well it wasn't hard, this is where you two would always come when you were upset. I remember it, yes.” He nodded.

I didn’t know that Alison would come here too. All of our childhood I felt myself slightly put up against her when really we couldn’t be more alike.

“Who told you I was.. Luther.” She sighs.

“It was Miss Vanya. She called to make sure you were okay.”

“What happened?” I blurt out.

Alison stretches her legs by walking around the room. “I said some pretty

unkind things to her earlier.”

Pogo shook his head. “She’s your sister. She knows you didn't mean it.”

“Doubt it” Alison scoffs. “She doesn't know anything about me, which is fine because I don’t know shit about here either.”

That was the downside of all of us branching out, we never stayed in touch. If I had moved to a different state I would’ve never known how Klaus was doing and how I could help him. How different my life could’ve been, I mean what if I didn't come to the funeral? Life would’ve died without me having the slightest clue.

“Language”

Alison chuckles at his humor. “Sorry.”

Afraid of just sitting there, I cut into their conversation. “It has been a while since we’ve lived under the same roof, you know?”

They both agree with my sentiment.

“Almost thirteen years,” Pogo said

“Wow,” Alison and I both remark.

“How did you do it? Also in this big house for so long?” I ask.

“Well, one grows used to things, even if sometimes.. one shouldn’t.” He replies, the sadness evident in his voice.

I should’ve visited him, I'm an adult, Reginald can’t scare me anymore and no one was here. I was so close to them but still, I never wanted to come back without a reason. This place was my home for many years, yes, but it wasn’t my first home.

Pogo senses that we’re both down in the dumps. “You two should come with me. I want to show you something. It might just cheer you up,” he says.

..

We followed Pogo downstairs into one of the mansion's many rooms. But I don’t think I’ve ever seen this room before. The hallway was dark with only a few orange lights that barely helped see anything.

The tiny room was filled with rows of old TVs and controls with glowing buttons. Most of the tvs were black but there were a few Pogo must've turned on. Then he went into a box and pulled out a tape. He placed it into the TV closest to him.

The tape played old security camera recordings of us as kids, probably around thirteen from what we looked like. It would’ve been creepy if it didn't make me sad, these memories are some of the good times at the academy that I ignored because of all the bad.

Alison and I gawked at the footage. We sat in two chairs that were in front of the TVs as Pogo talked to us from behind. “Your father stopped recording years ago. But I still come here from time to time. When I'm missing you kids.” He said.

Alison was the first to speak. “Pogo, this is..” she sighs. “Most families have home movies to look back on. We have surveillance footage.”

“I hoped it might cheer you up.”

I laugh. “This definitely does.”

Previous to the new tape Pogo just put in, some of the other TVs had more footage. My eyes drifted from screen to screen soaking up all the cute moments.

“Oh my god look how little we were,” Alison tells me.

One screen was Alison and I in her room trying on Grace’s clothes. “Ohh, I remember this,” I said.

And Alison turns to see the one I'm looking at. “This was so fun! Mom always had the best clothes.” She exclaimed.

Grace's dresses were obviously too big for us, but that didn't stop us. Her clothes were modeled after old housewives of a different time and might look strange and out of date to others. But we loved them.

I moved to another screen of me, Ben and Klaus talking. We were sitting on one of the main staircases. I wish I could freeze time to that moment forever, just the three of us again.

Alison follows where my sad eyes are staring. “I miss him so much.” She said upsetly.

“Me too” I whisper.

The screen next to that was of Vanya, playing her violin alone. You could hear the sound of us children in the background and Alison’s voice while she played by herself. It was the heartbreaking reality of our childhood.

“Why didn't we include her? I mean if anyone ever treated Claire like that, I can’t even imagine.” Alison wonders.

“You were children, Miss Alison,” Pogo replies.

“Yeah.. but I'm not anymore and neither is she.”

Pogo straightens up like he’s getting ready to head out. “If you two aren’t in a hurry. There’s more tapes in that cabinet.” He nudges his head to a large cabinet overflowing with tapes with all different labels.

The man drops the key into my hand. “Make sure to lock up when you're done, things have been disappearing lately. These are too important to lose.”

I tell him I will and Pogo heads back out through the door. But before he leaves he gives us one more look. I turn back towards the screens and rethink back to those happier days.

Alison stands up to go over to the cabinet, she picks up a similar-looking tape. But above the box, there was a rusty tape. The label was gone and it looked scratched up.

“What’s that?” I ask. She opens it and slides it into a screen.

“I don’t know but I guess we're gonna see.” She hits rewind and it starts to buffer before playing. The video was harder to make out than all the other black-and-white films. Alison and I both leaned in and once my eyes focused it was clear what was going on.

“Oh god, Dad.”

…

Aug 14 update:

If you'd like to be added to the tag list for rest of the series (starts at chapter 10) say taglist in the comments!

[thechaoticdruid]

This Bites (6)

Pairing: Astarion x Fem! Chubby!MC

Plot: Astarion gets to know Winnie's little step sister Vanessa as the trip to the carnival date grows near.

Content/Warnings: Fluff, mean vampire threatens smol human, smol human is annoying and asks too many questions, smol human's dad is a bigot, Batstarion abuse.

Chapter 5: Long ass chapter

Chapter 6: We here.

Chapter 7: To the carnival!!

“Shit.” Astarion breathed out, staring at the little girl with shock. This was not good. Winnie had busted her ass to make sure no one in the house found out about Astarion. Winnie shot up from the ground, eyes widened with horror as she saw her stepsister in her room.

“Vanessa! What are you doing in MY room?” Winnie snapped, arms crossed. 

“I couldn't sleep!” Vanessa complained before her eyes stared at Astarion, taking in his features. 

“He looks like the vampire from that game all my favorite YouTubers are playing!” 

“Ah…Well, he's just a big fan!” Winnie said nervously before elbowing Astarion in the shoulder.

“Oh! Yes! I am just absolutely captivated by him! He's so beautiful and dreamy.~ It's as if he was carved from stone by the gods themselves!~” Astarion put his hand over his heart, lacing every word with some dramatic flair.

“Okay, I think she gets the point.” Winnie rolled her eyes, as she huffed at Astarion's ridiculous and frankly egocentric theatrics. 

“You sound just like him too!” Vanessa said, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “And are those fangs in your mouth?”

“He's a cosplayer and he just so happens to be very good at impressions! Seriously Nessa, don't tell me you think he could actually be a vampire. You know they aren't real, silly.” Winnie said, laughing nervously as her anxiety began to spike.

“He literally has no reflection.” Vanessa said, pointing to the mirror in Winnie’s room. Just to add to their shit luck, the two of them had been standing at the perfect angle for her to notice. 

“Fuck.” Winnie cursed, stomping her foot and covering her face in her hands. 

“Well…Looks like we'll have to kill the child.” Astarion said with an annoyed sigh, clenching his clawed fingers.  Vanessa tensed up and backed up against the wall as the vampire took a step forward. Winnie quickly moved in front of him and blocked the way to Nessa.

“No no no! We are not murdering my stepsister!” Winnie put her hand on his chest. 

“I can't believe there's a real vampire in our house!” Vanessa exclaimed, sounding way too excited about a blood sucking undead being hiding in her home.

“You are not having the appropriate reaction to finding out a bloodsucking monster-” Winnie was cut off by Astarion clearing his throat,” right sorry LIFE CHALLENGED INDIVIDUAL is in your house.” 

“Well, you obviously don't seem afraid of him.” Nessa exclaimed, “and if he was dangerous why would you bring him into the house?” 

“I am very dangerous, thank you.” Astarion scoffed, crossing his arms with a slight pout.

“He is my friend and I'm taking care of him…” Winnie began to say. 

“Dad has no idea he's here does he?” Vanessa raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

“No and I want to keep it that way.” Winnie said sternly. 

“I can't believe there's actually a video game character in front of me!” Nessa squealed in excitement. “Wait, how is this possible?” 

“I've been trying to get to the bottom of that.”Winnie rubbed her temples, “look the bottom line is you can't tell anyone about him being here, understand?” Vanessa ignored Winnie and immediately went over to inspect Astarion.

“So what's your name?” She asked curiously.

“It's Astarion. ~” The vampire replied with a dramatic little bow. 

“Astairen?” Vanessa repeated, pronouncing the vampire’s name incorrectly. The elf sighed and rolled his eyes.

“A-star-rion.” He corrected her. 

“Ha! You sound like a Pokemon!” Vanessa giggled.

“A what?” The vampire was completely confused. 

“Vanessa.” Winnie huffed, “listen to me.” Vanessa eventually turned back to look at Winnie. “You cannot tell anyone about him, understand? Especially not your father.” 

“I won't tell anyone! I promise! I've just always wanted a vampire friend!” Nessa exclaimed with a twinkle in her eyes. 

“Let's not get carried away…There are very few people in this world I consider ‘friends’ and you are certainly not one of them.” Astarion said in a sassy tone, face scrunched in disgust. Winnie quickly elbowed him.

“Be nice.” She scolded him. 

“Ugh….If I must…” Astarion groaned and looked over at the young girl. “…I may consider becoming friends…” The vampire said the last word as if it would make him vomit.

“Don't take what he says too personally, Ness. He's basically a cat on the inside.” Winnie said calmly, causing Vanessa to giggle. 

“This is going to be so cool! I have so many questions!” Vanessa said with excitement. 

“Ah yes well, it might be best if you hold off your questions for tonight. I'm really tired.” Winnie said with a yawn, stretching out her arms.

“But come on! Just a few minutes! Pleaaassse!” Vanessa whined. Winnie groaned in annoyance before sitting on the bed and kicking off her shoes.

“Alright. You got ten minutes.” She said with a sigh. 

“Okay okay! Can you fly?” 

“No.” Astarion replied.

“Can you hypnotize people?”

“No.”

“Can you see the future?” 

“No.” 

“Read minds?” 

“No.”

“Do you….sparkle in the sun?”

“Not sure…Usually I'm too busy burning to death to check.” 

“Well, you're a boring vampire!” Nessa huffed.

Astarion rolled his eyes,”I can rip your heart out and eat it. Is that exciting enough for you?” 

“Kinda gross, but okay.” 

“Alright you've asked enough questions. Now go to bed.” Winnie sighed. 

“Fiiiine.” Vanessa finally gave in before leaving to go back to her room. 

Winnie let out a groan of annoyance once her step sister left her room. She rubbed her temples in frustration as Astarion sat down on the bed beside her. 

“God, I hope she doesn't tell anyone…” Winnie muttered before suddenly feeling clawed hands on her shoulders. Astarion began to rub her gently. 

“Since you won't let me kill them I dearly hope you have a plan brewing in that pretty head of yours? In case our little secret gets out.” The pale elf said as he continued to massage her shoulders, thumbs moving down to rub circles around her shoulder blades. 

“We'd have to move out I guess…..Which is just a problem in itself. There's no way I can afford my own house and an apartment is too crowded. You'd never be able to sneak out and hunt without the possibility of being seen.” Winnie hummed, unable to help but let out a slight groan at the vampire’s touch. 

“Our own home does sound wonderful though. Just you and me living together. It'd almost be as if we were married.” Astarion hummed. The subject of marriage made Winnie go pale. She hoped he wasn't trying to drop some kind of hint? They'd only actually been dating a few weeks. They haven't even kissed yet for pete sake!

“Ah…Let's not get carried away now. I'm still a bit too young to be thinking of marriage.” Winnie huffed before pulling away and laying down on the bed. 

“Ah..Yes of course. I only meant that it would be similar.” Astarion replied with a sad smile as he noticed Winnie facing away from him. He didn't want to make her feel pressured into anything, but he couldn't help but long to be closer to her. It was hard for him to understand that what seemed like years of companionship to him were only days, weeks at most to her. Winnie was completely infatuated with him. But love, real genuine romantic love was still such a foreign concept to the young woman. It was something she never thought she'd ever receive. She had to be smart about it and not rush into anything.

“Are you upset with me?” His saddened voice immediately made her look back.

“No, no! I'm just really worn out. Today has been tiring.” Winnie explained looking up at him. She let out a deep sigh before patting the space beside her. “You can ... .lay here if you want..” she murmured shyly. Almost as if on command Astarion immediately slotted himself beside her, arms pulling her against him. Astarion smiled, nuzzling his face between her neck and shoulder.

“Goodnight my love.” Astarion whispered in her ear. Winnie blushed a bit, returning his embrace as she closed her eyes.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

“So you can turn into a bat, but you can't fly?” The twelve year old girl looked up at the vampire who stood in her room. Ollie the dog was curled up by her feet, sleeping.

“Technically I shouldn't be able to turn into one at all, but yes flying doesn't appear to come instinctively.” He rubbed his chin, glancing around the child’s slightly messy bedroom in discomfort. Vanessa sat down on a bean bag chair, dressed in a yellow Sonic the Hedgehog hoodie and blue jeans. 

“Then it's probably a good idea to practice! My dad won't be home until four so we have the whole house for you to fly around in! I can get you a little tiny bat helmet if you'd like?” Vanessa exclaimed as she hopped up. 

“Are you always left home alone this long?” Astarion asked, curiously. 

“My dad says I'm old enough to be here by myself.” Nessa exclaimed. “And Winnie said I need to keep an eye on you while she's at work so come on!” Nessa got up and quickly grabbed something from her drawer before leading Astarion out of her room and into the kitchen by his hand. Astarion rolled his eyes but complied with the girl’s wishes, not wanting to hear her whine. Astarion followed Nessa into the kitchen before taking his bat form, disappearing into a cloud of red before reappearing on the group as a little white vampire bat.

“Aww you're so cute!” She cooed before putting a tiny pink doll helmet on his head. “Okay now I'll get you started, and you remember to flap your wings!” The girl said before picking up the tiny bat who let out a few squeaks of annoyance. The sandy haired girl held him over her head before suddenly launching him into the air. The poor little bat let out a terrified squeak as he was slung through the air wings flapping frantically. Ollie shot out of Nessa’s room, hearing the bat’s squeaks. He immediately began to bark and snarl at the little creature. 

“Ollie no! Leave him alone!” Vanessa scolded, but the untrained pup just ignored her and snapped at the little bat, hopping up to try and bite him.

 Astarion hovered above the dog, just safely out of reach as he flapped his wings in desperation. 

The dog continued to lunge at him until Maddie poked her head out of Winnie's bedroom. Almost immediately she charged at the dog, a nasty growl left the feline's mouth as she came close, ears straight back and fur puffed up.

“Merrrrooow…” Maddie's vicious yowl caused the dog to turn tail between his legs before he ran off into Brian's bedroom. Astarion huffed, gradually slowing his flaps before dropping down onto Maddie’s back.  

Astarion let out a sigh of relief before hopping off Maddie's back and transforming back to his elven form. The little helmet falling off his head as he did so. 

“Alright, I think I've had enough of flying for one day.” Astarion dusted himself off before noticing Maddie rub against his legs. 

“Awe come on! You were doing so good!” Vanessa pouted. 

“Darling, you're completely impossible. If it wasn't for your sweet sister I would have drained you dry already.” Astarion scoffed. 

“Darling,” Nessa mocked, “you sound like a girl hehe.” 

“Oh such a cruel clever insult! However, will I possibly recover?” Astarion's words were dripping with sarcasm as he held a hand over his heart dramatically. Vanessa looked at him curiously and blinked.

“Are you gay? My dad said guys who act like you are gay.” The twelve year old asked bluntly. The vampire looked back at her, not quite understanding what the rude child was asking. 

“Not at present. I'm rather annoyed actually.” 

“No I don't mean happy gay. I mean do you like boys?” The young girl asked.

“Gods, you're a nosy child.” Astarion rubbed his temples.

“I just wanna know. Dad said I shouldn't talk to gay people. Not sure why though.” The child shrugged. “So do you like boys or girls?” 

“Hmm…I much prefer adults rather than boys and girls….” Astarion finally answered with a grimace. 

“Ah! That's what I meant! But what gender do you like?” 

“Must I choose?” Astarion chuckled before his pointed ears twitched and he heard someone pull into the driveway. He peeked his head through the door to the livingroom and spotted Winnie through the window. She had gotten off her motorcycle and was walking back to the house. Astarion grinned before entering the living room.

“Hey!” Vanessa whined and followed him. 

Winnie walked inside, she looked exhausted, hair messy and her uniform had a bit of dirt on it. 

“Winnie.” Astarion smiled at her sweetly,“welcome back my sweet.” He quickly pulled her in for a hug, nuzzling his face in her neck. Winnie nearly fell over, but the vampire held her up. 

“Darling? Are you alright?” He asked with concern.

“I'm exhausted. Work was hell today.” Winnie huffed, leaning against him. 

“Oh my God. You guys are dating aren't you?” Vanessa piped up.

“Ugh ...Not now Nessa. I don't have the energy for this.” Winnie said and pulled back from Astarion’s arms. Astarion smirked a bit.

“Winnie and I are partners, yes.” He said, smugly.

“Astarion.” Winnie glared at Astarion slightly.

“What? I'm simply being honest with the kid.” Astarion said with an innocent look. Winnie rolled her eyes before walking into her room. The messy haired female laid on her bed and took a deep breath. She laid there for a while, staring at the ceiling in silence. Eventually Astarion came into her room and sat on the bed next to her. 

“Love, I brought you something to eat.” Astarion hummed, setting down a plate with a sandwich on it. He looked down at her tired face and gently caressed her hair.

“Some crazy lady screamed at me today.” Winnie began suddenly. “She was pitching a fit because we didn't have any of the dog food she wanted. Becca wasn't working today so I had to handle it by myself.” 

“A pity I couldn't join you there during the day. I'd be happy to dispose of anyone who gives you trouble.” Astarion said with a smirk, clenching his free hand into a fist and cracking his knuckles. 

“You'd get arrested in a heartbeat.” Winnie chuckled, finally grabbing the sandwich and taking a bite. It was just bologna between two pieces of bread. No cheese or condiments. So incredibly bland. Well, she had to give the vampire some credit for trying. Winnie ate the sandwich before tossing the plate in the trash and laying her head on Astarion’s lap. 

“It pains me how little faith you have in my skills, my love.” Astarion said as he continued to stroke Winnie’s hair.  

“Honey, I've told you already. It's not like how it is in Faerûn where you can just dump the body in a ditch somewhere and no one will ask questions. People keep track of everyone who goes missing here. You will get caught.” Winnie mumbled, snuggling her head against his thigh. 

“Well, actually they do begin asking questions in Baldur's Gate. Of course I still managed to get away without being caught.” Astarion said smugly. 

“Makes me wonder if I should be involved with such a dangerous, dangerous man.” Winnie teased. 

“Oh don’t worry, pet. I'd never hurt you. Not unless you wanted me to.~” Astarion tapped Winnie on the nose with a flirtatious wink. Winnie rolled her eyes and just relaxed with her head on his lap. 

“Anyway, we have a lot to look forward to. We're going to meet up with your friend for a date in a few weeks, aren't we?”  Astarion reminded her.  Winnie’s eyes widened as she remembered they were supposed to meet Becca and her boyfriend at the carnival for a double date.

Shit.

Winnie turned and buried her face into Astarion’s thigh as she thought of all the things that could go wrong. 

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

The carnival came to town much sooner than Winnie expected. It didn't take long before Nessa was begging Brian to let her go before she had to go back to her mother's house.  Winnie had called up Becca a couple nights back to make sure they'd meet up after sundown. She told her friend that her boyfriend couldn't get off of work until then. Everything was in place for the evening. Winnie wore a black T-shirt and ripped skinny jeans along with a pair of black converse. She brushed her hair out as best as she could while she stood in front of her bathroom mirror. Once she finished she put her glasses on and left the room, grabbing an old leather jacket from her closet that she barely wore as she let out a sigh.

Red eyes looked her over as their owner sat on the armchair, brushing his snow white locks. He was dressed in a sleeveless dark purple turtleneck which covered the bite scar on his neck. With it he wore black skinny jeans and tennis shoes.  

“You're going to get cold wearing that, you know.” Winnie hummed. 

“Well then, perhaps you'd be so kind as to lend me one of your coats if you're so worried about little old me.~” Astarion hummed, hopping up and moving a stray hair out of his face as he followed his lover into the bathroom.

 “I already told you, Star. My jackets won't fit you right. You're too tall and skinny to fit in my clothes.” Winnie said with a sigh as she began to brush her teeth. “Besides I already bought you your own jackets.”

“But yours are so much softer and more comfortable.” The vampire replied, fiddling with a bag on the sink counter. He took out a small purple tube of mascara before applying it to his lashes. Astarion put the mascara back before grabbing a black eyeliner pencil. 

“You're ridiculous but I-.......Where did you get that make up?” Winnie said as she looked back at him and blinked.

“Oh this? I found it in your mother's closet the other day. Looked like it hadn't been touched in a while so I thought it best not to let it go to waste.” Astarion replied as applied the eyeliner under his eyes. 

“Don't steal from my mom. You know you can ask me if you want something right?” Winnie let out a sigh and kept brushing her teeth. She spat out into the sink before rinsing the sink and her toothbrush off. Then she walked back into her room, picking her backpack up off the floor. 

Astarion came out and swiftly grabbed Winnie’s purple hoodie from the closet. He pulled it over his arms and let it hang off his shoulders before following his love out the door. 

Theys snuck out of the house quietly, making sure to lock all the doors behind them before leaving. Winnie hopped onto her motorcycle with Astarion getting on behind her as the two set off. It was 8pm by the time they reached the carnival. The rides were all illuminated up with bright colorful lights. The sound of screams of excitement filled the air as did the delicious smell of fried foods. 

Astarion glanced up at the strange contraptions with curiosity and a slight wariness. This wasn't like the circus as he predicted it would be like.

Winnie smiled a bit, memories from past trips to the carnival flooded her mind, filling her with joy and sudden enthusiasm. Perhaps this would actually be fun? She quickly shook her head, she needed to focus! There was another reason they were going here! 

Winnie got off the bike and led her vampire up to the entrance. He kept an arm locked with hers as they purchased their tickets, heading inside. Winnie checked her cellphone to see if there were any messages from Becca. 

“Okay, Becca's here. She’s with her boyfriend waiting for us by the snack stand.” Winnie hummed before looking over at Astarion.  His eyes scanned around the crowd. There were so many people and a sweet alluring scent hit him like a brick.

“Hon? You alright?” Winnie asked curiously before noticing some random guy had fallen on the sidewalk and skinned his knee, drawing blood. Winnie placed a hand on Astarion’s face. 

“Star…Look at me.” She said softly, causing his blood red orbs to snap back to her. “You haven't fed for a while have you?” 

“I tried going out and hunting but the last few nights prey had become rather scarce…” Astarion admittedly. 

“I told you, you were going to eat the whole forest. Look, hold on until we get back home and I'll let you feed from me.” Winnie said with a sweet smile. 

“Thank you my sweet.” Astarion returned the smile before Winnie tugged him along. 

“Now, let's go! Becca and Anthony are waiting!” Winnie exclaimed. They wandered through the carnival, marveling at the sights and sounds. The more they saw, the more Winnie began to grin, mind constantly slipping away from her main objective. 

“Yo! Winnie!” Becca's voice snapped Winnie out of her thrill fueled trance. “Over here! Come meet my babe!” The redhead called. Sitting next to Becca was a tall lanky man with messy black hair and green eyes. He had to be about mid twenties and was dressed in a sleeveless blue hoodie and shorts. 

Winnie walked over and smiled shyly, Astarion still holding on to her arm. 

“Hey…I'm Winnie and this is Star…” Winnie introduced them.

“Star? So that's his name, huh? You know I can't quite put my finger on it but your boyfriend seems really familiar.” Becca scratched her head.

“The vampire from BG3! He looks kinda like him!” Anthony spoke up.

“Oh shit, you're right!” Becca exclaimed, “dude's even got elf ears on! Wicked!” 

“Yeah, he really loves cosplaying!” Winnie said nervously. Astarion just stared at her in confusion.

“Cos-what?” He murmured. 

“It's an amazing costume. You look pretty hot in it too!” Anthony grinned.  Astarion smirked with a smug look.

“You flirt.” The elf rolled his eyes.

“He really is. It's part of his charm.” Becca giggled.

 Winnie looked at the two with a slight discomfort, but shook it off.  It was all harmless banter. “Anyway! Let's get this show on the road!” Becca hopped up with a grin.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Druid here! I hope I didn't make Vanessa too annoying, honestly I'm really just trying to portray her as a mischievous naive child though I can understand if she isn't well received. I'm going to New Orleans soon so it might be a while before the next chapter is dropped and I've also got some Winnifred The Druid oneshots to do.

Hope you guys liked the chapter! Next time we'll have some drama at the carnival!

~Druid

Taglist:

@seradyn , @plimsim, @astarioffsimpmain , @marcynomercy , @iamsexytrash , @gaymistakeboi , @divineknightmare , @tinyfreakgirl , @misscrissfemmefatal, @gianchan-de @jaksfanficsaver , @the-disaster-in-waiting , @hp-art-studio , @im-just-a-simp-le-whore , @dajeong , @iamnotokei

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Hi!! Just wanna say I love your writing sm! And could you please tell how the friendship between loki and sunshine blossomed? I just love how sunshine is with people btw

- 🌻

Okay, okay, that's such a good question, like we already know how Sunshine and Loki met and we've seen a few glimpses into their friendship, but we don't know how they actually became friends. And that is an injustice. So allow me to recount how exactly Sunshine and Loki became friends.

F is For Friends Who Do Stuff Together

Part of The Grumpy X Sunshine Series

Loki smirks to himself. He wasn't going to do anything too awful, perhaps a little mischievous but why would anyone expect anything else from him?

It was their fault really. Leaving their newest addition all alone while he was lurking around the Compound. You're low hanging fruit ripe for the picking.

He didn't even have any real plans for you.

Perhaps he'd take you to Asgard for long enough for Thor to come looking. Long enough to frighten you, certainly. In truth, he was just bored and looking to stir up a little bit of chaos - and they made it far too easy for him.

After all, you're completely oblivious to him looming behind you. It was almost too easy.

He creeps up slowly, watching as you tend to a bouquet of flowers in the common room.

You're not even in within arm's reach when, without ever looking over your shoulder, you chirp, "Hi, Loki!"

He freezes, completely caught off guard, his plans entirely derailed, "How did you-"

You turn around with a bright smile, "How did I what?"

"How did you know I was there?"

You shrug, "I heard you."

"Impossible." It disturbs him more than it should. He was a god. Not just a god, but the god of deception and trickery. You were just the strange newcomer.

"Maybe you're not as sneaky as you think you are."

Despite how deeply unsettling this turn of events is, he smirks to himself. He knows you're completely unaware of the challenge you just issued.

So he tries. Again. And again. And again.

And each time, "Hi, Loki!" or "You almost got me that time!" or, worst of all "You're getting better everyday!"

It was maddening. Infuriating, even. He even scared Thor a few times just to make sure he hadn't somehow lost his touch. But no, his brother fell for the old snake in the common room trick every time without fail.

For three months, you held his attention. It was a new record for Loki. Every chance he got to catch you off guard, he took. And none of them ever worked.

One day, he swears he's finally done it. You're talking so enthusiastically to the SHIELD agent before you that there's no way you know he's lurking around the corner.

"Hold on," you tell the SHIELD agent you're speaking to whose name Loki hasn't bothered to learn. You turn around to find Loki a foot away from you, "Hi, Loki."

"What the hell was that?" the SHIELD agent demands.

"Oh, it's just this game me and Loki play." You dismissively wave your hand. "He tries to sneak up on me and I find him before he does. It's sort of like a very intense game of hide and seek."

"I think he's trying to kidnap you."

"It's alright. He's my friend."

Loki falters just as he's about to storm away, "I beg your pardon?"

"What?"

"What did you just say?"

"I said that it's alright because you're my friend," you casually repeat.

"That! Right there!" Loki explains, gesturing between you and him. "When did we become friends?"

"Umm... I don't know. We've been playing this game for like three months, so like three months ago, I guess."

Loki's eyebrows furrow together. He's not quite sure if it's the most endearing or the most disturbing thing he's ever heard. Worst of all, you don't seem to be afraid of him. "I've been trying to abduct you for three months and you call me your friend?"

"Well, I know you'd bring me back eventually. Plus, I've always wanted to visit another realm, it's on my bucket list!"

"What gave you the impression that I'd return you?"

You shrug, "I'm not worried about it, I trust you."

Your words strike a chord deep within Loki. He can't remember the last time someone trusted him, but you did. You did because you considered him a friend. "You trust me because I am your friend?"

You nod repeatedly, "Pretty much."

The corner of Loki's mouth twists upward, "Huh..."

"What?"

"I think I might need to find someone new to wreak havoc on."

"Oooh, we should play a prank on Sam!"

Loki smile mischievously at you, "I think we'll get along just fine."

AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Grumpy Sunshine Series

As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez@ludicbouquetfromearth@matchat3a@famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff@valoraxx@blue786sworld@buckyandgeraltsupremacy@geminigengar@ansaturn@ecolle@lexhalstead3@ybflkmj@mediocre-daydreams@shanye1112@thegirlnextdoorssister@toomanyfanficsbruh@moonlightreader649@breathtaking-cynthia@mirikusashes@beans-and-toast@niyahcoca@katiechikin@elxvrr@antiheroxsblog@infamouslyclumsy@krissydclayton93@buckysbarne@deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic@whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy

[quack-quack-snacks]

Star Crossed - Chapter 6

| Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 |

The Star Crossed Masterlist

My All Of Us Are Dead Masterlist

My Navigation and Masterlist

Warnings: Normal AOUAD things. Word Count: 4,257

Cheong-san plunged the edge of the phone into his left eye and he screamed in agony. While distracted with his pain, Cheong-san followed his instinct and threw him into the mob below.

Please forgive me, (Y/n)...

You had sat in the same spot for about 10 minutes when you decided you had gotten tired of sitting still and needed to move around a bit, even if you just paced back and forth. You’d figured out when you first came in here that the wild piano playing was from a young girl trapped underneath the piano on the other side of the room. She was a zombie, of course, and you couldn't help from feeling bad about how she’d been unable to even have a chance at escaping.

You’d been pacing for so long the wooden floor was starting to have skid marks from your rubber soles on it. You thought of different plans desperately, trying to find one that would be able to get you out of this situation and back to your friends.

Back to Su-hyeok.

You couldn’t believe it when you heard the door open, fearing the worst and not bothering to turn around even when you heard the soft and hesitant footsteps.

“(Y/n)?” The voice said and you swiftly turned around to see Cheong-san there with a hesitant and terrified face. Once he’d realized you weren’t a zombie, his face transformed from one of being terrified to one of extreme relief with a hint of guilt for some reason. He rushed toward you and brought you into a hug that you instinctually returned. He held you tightly in a friendly embrace upon your reunion and you held him back just as tightly, glad that even if you couldn’t completely keep your promise to On-jo, he came out safe and sound.

At least you thought so.

You pulled away and looked him over, turning him around so you could see his back and then back around again when you realized he was indeed safe with no serious injuries or worse, bite marks.

“Oh, thank god,” he exclaimed as he also looked you over to see you were safe. “I was so worried I’d lost you forever there.”

“Yeah, to be honest, me too. I wasn’t sure if I would make it out alive and I have no idea how I was able to make it here without getting hurt. How about you? How the hell did you make it here? I thought you went downstairs?” You interrogated and slapped his arm at his stupid actions.

He took a deep breath before determination set on his face and he stared you directly in the eyes. “(Y/n), I need to tell you something-”

A soft squealing noise from the speakers interrupted him and you both looked at it in confusion. After a few seconds, you heard voices coming through

“Anyone?” A voice that sounded like Joon-yeong sounded out softly.

“I've never done it before,” a voice like Dae-su’s called out and a smile grew onto your face at the sound of your new friends’ bantering.

“Somebody do it. Dae-su?” Another voice spoke, this one more feminine and sounding like either On-jo or Hyo-ryung.

“Here goes nothing… Uh, mic test. One, two. One, two. Cheong-san and (Y/n), are you there? We-”

“What are you doing?” A voice that you recognized instantly as Su-hyeok’s spoke and the grin on your face faded to a small smile of relief. It seemed like so long ago that you had heard him even if it was maybe only an hour ago.

“Hey, (Y/n), Cheong-san, do you hear us?”

“It's Su-hyeok,” you spoke softly and Cheong-san gave you a smile.

“It's Su-hyeok,” Su-hyeok repeated and you and Cheong-san laughed a little at the coincidence. “We'll come to you, so stay put. Got it?”

“Hell no, not happening-”

“Don't come, moron. You're gonna get bit-”

You and Cheong-san spoke at the same time, protesting to the speakerphone.

“I know what the both of you will say, but we can't hear you here.”

“What the hell are you doing, Bare-su?” Cheong-san whispered and you just shook your head as you walked towards the door, looking through the window to see if it was clear.

“So don't go anywhere. Wait for us. You really can't go anywhere, okay? We'll come now.”

Just as you were about to open the door, seeing that there were no zombies nearby for the time being, his next words stopped you in your tracks like a deer in headlights.

“(Y/n). I know you’re stubborn and never take any of my advice, but please. Please stay where you’re at. For me?” He whispered the last part and you leaned your forehead against the glass of the sliding door, debating with yourself on which you would do: stay and wait for the group, or go to them.

You didn’t really get any say in the matter when a zombie suddenly ran up to the door and slammed against it, its blood covered mouth smearing along the glass.

“Yeah, nope…” You concluded and went over to take a seat on one of the chairs in the room. You ignored the rest of what the group was unintentionally saying into the microphone and laid your head down when suddenly On-jo spoke directly to Cheong-san.

“Cheong-san. Please stay still. I know you never listen to me, but please do it this time.”

You saw Cheong-san stop in his tracks from where he too was about to open the door and run out. He walked over to sit next to you and you both sat in a comfortable silence.

“Time for meditation,” a sudden and unfamiliar voice interrupted the silence and you shot up, confused.

Tranquil music started playing and your confusion turned into an amused smile.

“Once again, another fun day at school,” you laughed at the voice and leaned your face on one of your hands while the other wrapped itself around your waist.

“Everyone, close your eyes… and calm your hearts.”

You turned around to look at Cheong-san and immediately bursted out laughing at the annoyed smile he had on his face.

“They couldn’t have picked any better music?” He asked with distaste.

“Aw, come on Cheong-san, you don’t wanna meditate?” You teased and sat on one of the desks with your legs crossed and your hands placed palm up on your knees. “Let us meditate together, my young padawan.”

“You’re so stupid,” he laughed and you pouted at him before falling backwards so you were lying down on the desks.

“Yeah? We’ll you’re just an ultra big meanie,” you insulted childishly and flipped him off which he snorted at.

You suddenly heard a bunch of growling and shot up again, getting back on your guard as you saw dozens of zombies run down the hallways towards the corridor speaker.

“Now that’s why they did it! That’s smart,” you complimented and Cheong-san nodded in agreement.

You sat there for a minute until the door burst open and the group came trampling in.

“Oh, shit,” Dae-su exclaimed as he walked over to where the two of you were and pulled you both in for a hug. “Where were you guys? Idiots.”

“Where's On-jo?” Cheong-san asked worriedly and seconds later the girl came rushing in. “On-jo!” Cheong-san shoved himself out of Dae-su’s arms so he could rush towards her and Dae-su focused his energy on squeezing the life out of you.

“(Y/n)! I never would have thought I would miss your glare so much!” He cried out dramatically and you laughed as you returned the hug, basking in the embrace of a friend.

“How did you guys know we were here?” You heard Cheong-san ask and turned around just in time to see him get kicked in the back of the knees by On-jo.

“I told you not to go! Why don't you ever listen to me?” She complained with a voice ready to start crying.

“Hey, save the lovers' quarrel for later,” Dae-su stopped the argument and went over to help lift Cheong-san up.

“Let's go!” Wu-jin directed, panting to get his breath.

“Where?” You asked, still stuck on how they even knew where you and Cheong-san were.

“We have to get to the roof before the meditation music ends.”

You looked behind On-jo in worry as you didn’t see either of your best friends anywhere in sight.

“Let's go. Hurry!” Dae-su urged but you stopped their movements when you spoke.

“Wait! Where’s Nam-ra and Su-hyeok? They were with you guys… right? Where are they now?”

On-jo looked stunned, just now realizing the same thing as you but you didn’t wait for her to react as you quickly opened the door and rushed outside.

“Where are you going?” Cheong-san anxiously asked as you rushed out.

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Dae-su called out after you as both he and Cheong-san ran after your retreating form.

You stopped running and sighed in relief when you saw Nam-ra and Su-hyeok running down the hall, Nam-ra holding her arm in pain and Su-hyeok running behind her to make sure she didn’t fall behind with blood splattered across his face.

“Are you crazy? Don't go by yourself!” Cheong-san commanded when he and the group caught up to you.

Your look of relief vanished as you saw the concern and sternness on both of their faces as they came closer.

“Go in! Go inside!” Su-hyeok demanded and everyone turned around to see the zombies that had once gathered at the speaker were now chasing toward them.

“Shit! Go back!” You yelled.

“They're coming!” Dae-su yelled as he ran back into the classroom, everyone following close behind with Su-hyeok to be the last one there and the one who closed the door behind him.

“They can still see us!” You expressed nervously and speedily ran towards one of the curtains that hung across the wall with the doors in the room.

“Yes! The curtains. Come on!” Joon-yeong told everyone and they all ran to cover the windows with the curtains before pausing to take a deep breath of relief.

Nam-ra ran towards the windows facing the outside and closed those curtains before turning towards where the zombie stuck under the piano was.

“There's a zombie there,” you started as you walked towards her. “Don’t worry, though, it’s caught under a piano, so it can’t go anywhere.”

She nodded and you brought her into your arms for a tight hug. She sighed against your shoulder and you squeezed her harder before letting her go and giving her a tight smile. The both of you leaned back against two desks with your hands interlocked as the group started talking again.

“We can't… go to the roof…” Hyo-ryung stated sadly and your head turned to her. “We're trapped again, aren't we?” Although the sentence was a question, it was stated like a fact.

“There are zombies out there, so…” Su-hyeok started to explain and your eyes locked, you could feel your eyes burn by how he looked at you; with so much pain and regret and guilt and relief that you couldn’t handle it. You smiled at him before turning your head back so it was facing forward. “Let's just think a little.”

“This is so annoying,” you heard Nam-ra whisper irritatedly from beside you and you rubbed your thumb over her knuckles in an attempt to comfort her while also comforting yourself.

After a few beats of silence, only interrupted by the group’s heavy breathing, Hyo-ryung suddenly stood up and she looked at you and Nam-ra, horrified.

“Hey. Hey, Nam-ra,” she started and your gaze finally found its way to her face. “What happened to your arm?” She pointed towards your best friend’s arm while backing up. “That's a bite mark, isn't it?”

As everyone started to stand up and back away from the two of you, you just looked down at where her “bite” was and sure enough there was a bite there. Not moving or letting go of her in any way, you just stared at the bite in silence, biting your lip as tears sprung in your eyes and your nose stung.

“No. No, no, no. Please no! I can’t lose you!” You whispered as you begged whatever god was listening to hear your prayers and leaned your forehead onto Nam-ra’s shoulder. Su-hyeok came rushing up to defend her when Cheong-san charged forward with a music stand in his hands.

“No. That’s not it,” he tried to explain but Cheong-san was insistent.

“Move. Step back, Su-hyeok.”

“That's not it, asshole,” Su-hyeok explained harshly again and turned back to Nam-ra who had an arm wrapped around your shoulder to comfort you.

“Tell him. You weren't bitten by a zombie,” he begged her but she stayed silent. Your tears subsided as you heard him say that and now you just looked confused. “Say something!” From out of your eyesight, Dae-su and Wu-jin had snuck towards you and ripped you out of Nam-ra’s grasp, holding onto you tightly as you thrashed to go back to her.

As Su-hyeok stepped towards you at your cries in order to help, you saw Cheong-san dash forward with the music stand again and you screamed. “No!”

Su-hyeok rushed back to stand in front of Nam-ra and stop Cheong-san from delivering any blows.

“Gwi-nam! He bit her. It wasn’t zombies,” he explained. Your struggles died down in surprise and you just gaped at him in a state of shock.

“Who?” Cheong-san asked in confusion.

“Gwi-nam. The bully.”

“Yoon Gwi-nam?”

“Yeah,” Su-hyeok confirmed and Cheong-san turned to Nam-ra.

“Nam-ra. Did Gwi-nam really bite you?” She shot a glance at you but you didn’t notice from how you continued to stare at the boy who brought the heartbreaking and unbelievable news to you all. She nodded slightly.

“Say it clearly,” Cheong-san demanded.

“It’s true,” Su-hyeok had confirmed in Nam-ra’s stead since she was continuing to remain quiet.

“Gwi-nam was bitten by zombies,” Cheong-san told him and he scoffed in disbelief.

“Bullshit.”

“I saw him get bit. If you get bitten by zombies, you turn into one,” he explained what all of you already knew as if Su-hyeok had forgotten it. “So if Gwi-nam bit her-”

“He's not one of them!” Su-hyeok yelled and the zombies behind the curtains started growling louder and banging on the doors and windows. “Gwi-nam wasn't a zombie,” he stated more quietly but still in a stern and convinced tone. “He wasn’t. He literally talked to me,” he turned to Nam-ra for help but she hadn’t taken her eyes off of you. “You saw him. He wasn't a zombie at all.”

…

…

…

“What?”

Your soft voice cut through the air like a knife and everyone’s attention turned to you where you were still held onto by Dae-su even after you had stopped struggling. Su-hyeok and Cheong-san both looked at you with guilty eyes filled with remorse and regret.

“My brother did this? My brother bit you?” You asked as you looked at Nam-ra and she looked devastated. “A-and he’s… he’s a zombie?” You continued as tears streaked down your cheeks unwillingly. You turned to Cheong-san. “You saw him get bit? When was that? Why didn’t you tell me?” You let out, your breathing staggering and growing uneven as you continued to mentally comprehend all the information that was thrown at you in the past 2 minutes.

Su-hyeok let out a sigh of anger and regret. He couldn’t believe he had said all those things in front of you with no hesitation or tenderness. He carefully walked over to you and Dae-su let you go. Your knees buckled from the overwhelming sensation of your emotions rampaging but Su-hyeok caught you in his arms just in time before you fell. He whispered apologies into your hair as your tears soaked through his blazer despite how your body showed no other signs of you crying.

Nam-ra turned back to look at Cheong-san before standing up. “Are you sure he was bitten by a zombie?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed, his eyes only flickering away from you for a second to answer her question.

“So I'll turn into a zombie,” she concluded.

“No!” You screamed out and left Su-hyeok’s arms to rush over to her, grabbing her upper arms and squeezing as you looked her dead in the eyes. “You won’t. Su-hyeok said that Gw...” you stopped when your voice broke. “That he wasn’t a zombie, at least not a full zombie,” you turned around to look at the group, specifically at Cheong-san. “I’m not saying you’re a liar but I also believe that Su-hyeok had seen him and he wasn’t a zombie. She won’t turn. She won’t. I know it,” you stated confidently.

Nam-ra grabbed your hand and squeezed it, getting your attention and turning you back towards her. “(Y/n)...” She brought you into a proper hug and you sobbed once. “Thank you… I’ll never forget your friendship,” she whispered in your ear before pushing you away gently and walking towards the classroom door.

“Nam… please!” You begged and she stopped in the middle of the room, turning back to look at you.

“I always loved that nickname,” she turned back around to walk towards the door but you rushed forward to grab her hand.

“You won’t turn. You won’t,” you told her as convincingly as possible before wiping your tears aggressively and walking back towards the group, dragging her behind you as she struggled to free herself from your grip. You elbowed Su-hyeok lightly to continue with his defense and he started immediately.

“She won't turn into one. Don't you trust me?”

“I saw when Gwi-nam got bitten,” Cheong-san’s eyes flittered to you as he spoke and they were filled with guilt that seemed to increase with every pass over your face. “It happened after fighting with me.”

“I fought him, too. Believe me,” Su-hyeok grabbed your free hand with one of his own as he spoke and squeezed three times, the usual thing you two did to non-verbally express an apology. “I know.”

Squeezing Su-hyeok’s hand tightly, you shook him off and dragged Nam-ra over to the window where you yanked open the curtains and opened one of the windows, turning back around to face the group, your hand still holding onto hers.

“There. Problem solved. If she turns I’ll just push her out of the window and none of you will be harmed in the process. Okay? So put the fucking music stand down and back the fuck off,” you told all of them with a sharp glare.

“(Y/n),” Nam-ra tugged on your hand and brought your attention down to her. “You shouldn’t do this.”

You gaped at her, mouth opened slightly in slight disbelief. “Nam-ra. You are my best friend. Like hell am I letting you get away that easily.”

Your slight joke fell upon deaf ears as your serious tone covered it up.

“(Y/n),” you heard Cheong-san say to you and so you turned back to him.

“Back the fuck up.”

He lifted the music stand so he was holding it like a baseball bat and you glared at him, an act that unfortunately had no effect on him.

“I’m warning you, Cheong-san. Don’t come any closer,” you threatened but he just shot you back a glare of his own as his eyes filled with protectiveness.

“Screw you, (Y/n). I warned you first. Gyeong-su was enough, I won’t lose any more friends.”

You took a deep breath before spitting out your words with venom coating your tongue.

“Well then, I guess it’s a good thing we’re not friends. Isn’t it, Cheong-san?”

His glare hardened and he rolled his eyes. “You and I both know that fact has changed over the past day. You’ve made friends with everyone here no matter what you want to believe. We all care for you, which is exactly the reason why I’m not going to let you do this to yourself.”

“Well too fucking bad, because you can’t fucking stop me,” you told him, not bothering to speak about any of the previous things, knowing you would lose that argument.

“Get out of my way,” he demanded.

“Cheong-san, stop it,” Su-hyeok tried.

“Get out of my way!” he yelled again but your hold just tightened on Nam-ra’s hand while you stayed silent.

Su-hyeok pushed Cheong-san away and they started shoving each other when Nam-ra suddenly screamed out, “Stop it, both of you!”

They pushed each other away as both of them turned back to look at the two of you.

“If I feel strange in any way… I'll just end it quickly.”

You wiped away the stray tear that fell from your eyes at her words.

“Sorry, but-” Cheong-san started, about to convey more doubts about her condition until she interrupted him.

“No need to be sorry. I'm actually not sorry, not at all.”

“... sorry,” he continued and looked down in shame.

“Su-hyeok,” Nam-ra called out to him. “Kill me if I turn,” she turned to look at you. “I know you won’t be able to.”

“Hey, wait!” You called to her and tried to yank her back as she hopped up to sit on the ledge of the window but she just pulled your hands into her lap while her free one was holding onto the window frame to support her balance.

After a while, when you were leaning against the window and rubbing your fingers against the knuckles of Nam-ra’s hand while avoiding the eyes of Su-hyeok, you felt other eyes on you. You turned to look at Nam-ra only to see her staring intently at your neck. You smiled sadly as you knew what most likely was happening and not wanting to accept it.

“Nam?”

She grabbed your neck and pulled you closer to her just as you saw Cheong-san rush towards the both of you.

“(Y/n)!”

You turned your body so you were standing in front of Nam-ra to prevent her from receiving the blow, intending to take it yourself. You clenched your eyes tightly and waited for the pain to come but when the sound of the music stand hitting somebody’s body came, you felt nothing.

“Get out of the way!” Cheong-san yelled from behind you and you turned to see him with the music stand still in his hands except now it was broken and the top piece was across the room.

“Stop it!” Su-hyeok yelled at him from his place right in front of you where he was behind you just seconds before, and you finally connected the dots.

Su-hyeok took the blow for you.

Just as Cheong-san rushed forward, intending to strike again, Su-hyeok charged at him and slammed him on his back against a desk while raising a clenched fist in the air as a threat. “I said to stop it!”

“Stupid asshole!” Cheong-san yelled back and punched him in the face, successfully getting him off of him as they tussled around the room. You quickly moved to help Nam-ra as she weakly fell from the window sill and sat her into a chair while the boys fought on the other side of the room.

She breathed heavily and clenched her eyes shut as if fighting off something in her head. You heard different voices yelling over each other as they tried to break up the fight and turned back to see On-jo standing in front of the two of you and Su-hyeok holding Cheong-san back.

“Get out of my way! Let go of me!” He screamed as he resisted.

“Stop it. Are you blind? Look at Nam-ra,” On-jo surprised you as she defended your best friend. “She would have blood on her mouth if she bit her. Does she?” There was a pregnant pause as everyone looked at Nam-ra. “And she's not bleeding, right?” She defended more.

“It's true. There's no wound,” Dae-su pointed out as everyone then looked to you, no blood or wound from a bite anywhere on your body.

“But if Gwi-nam bit her-” Cheong-san started again.

“She's still fine, which means you'll be fine,” On-jo’s eyes shifted down to where he still held tightly to the music stand. “Come on, put that down. Stop being stubborn.”

The boy started to shake Su-hyeok off as he was still holding him. “Let go. I got it. Let go. Fuck,” he groaned.

“Why won't you drop that?” On-jo insisted.

“That's my business,” he told her and she rolled her eyes before turning to crouch down beside the two of you.

“Are you okay?” She questioned Nam-ra who stared forward blankly.

“Why do you care?”

“What?”

“It's just… it’s weird,” you started. “You've always hated us, so why are you suddenly starting to care now?”

On-jo looked down, “Sometimes, I still do,” she looked back up to stare you directly in the eye with an empathetic look. “But what's wrong is wrong.”

“She seems fine. Let's…” Wu-jin voiced after a silence once again settled over the group.

“She would've definitely turned by now,” reasoned Joon-yeong.

“No,” Nam-ra stated and stood up, you following her soon after to help her keep her balance while standing up straight, your hands separating in the process. “I'm not okay. I wanted to bite (Y/n).”

You stared at her in silence with a sad smile, knowing she was right and not being able to refute her words in any way.

“I really did,” she said again, still looking straight ahead, unable to meet your eyes. “I wanted to bite her.”

“Wait, what do you mean by that?” Cheong-san asked stupidly and you would have mocked him in any other circumstance.

“I mean… I wanted to bite her.

~~~

| Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 |

~~~

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Can I Be Him?

PAIRINGS : Lee Felix × fem!reader.

WORD COUNT : 7.9k.

GENRE : Angst, Smut, Fluff.

WARNINGS/CONTENT : multiple pov (reader+felix+author/narrator), reader has a toxic bf and felix wants her, strangers to friends to lovers, nightclub meet cute lmao, drinking, protective!felix, (un)requited love, mutual pining, angst with a happy ending.

A/N : This was supposed to be a quick smut drabble, but I can't live without adding some angst apparently. The more you know.

"Please, angel. You don't know how long I've been wanting this. I want to do this right. I want to worship you like you deserve."

If you could, you might melt into a puddle right then and there, but his dick is just a few centimeters away from your fingertips, and your mind is just a little unhinged.

You click your tongue impatiently, "You know damn well what happened the last time you tried to do this right. You wouldn't want history to repeat, would you?" His fly is undone in a flash.

"Tick tock, baby."

Main Masterlist

Smut warnings under the cut

SMUT WARNINGS : Lots of kissing, nicknames (baby, angel), switch!felix, switch!reader, Felix as a service top halfway through, begging (willingly, not forced lol), marking (once), voice kink(? Idk the reader gets horny over his deep voice), oral (m.+f. recieving), slight voyeurism (alleyway blowjob), deepthroating, body worship, nipple play, praise kink, spitting, dirty talk, unprotected intercourse (do better), squirting, creampie, fucking that turns to lovemaking, revelations about sexual preferences

"He left again?"

Wrapping your shivering arms around yourself in a failed attempt to bring some warmth, you smile "It's okay."

How the fuck could you smile at that?

"It's okay? Nothing is okay here. You're trembling on the street alone in the middle of the night, and it's okay?"

"It's really fine, Lixie, he had something important to take care of."

"And what could be more important than taking his girlfriend home? He couldn't offer you a ride on his way? Or at least get you in a fucking cab?"

You smile at how riled up Felix was getting, he always was the overprotective type, one of the kindest souls you'd met. That was the only reason he was so worried about you. That was why he looked about fit to burst right now. Yeah, he's just kind.

Who you were convincing, you weren't sure.

You had met him about ten months ago, in this very bar, when you'd come in for the first time. He'd been a regular and you'd clicked in an instant. You remember the night distinctly.

Stepping into 'Enigma', you repeated your plan in your head over and over,

I just need to get it out. I'm gonna find some cute guy, flirt with him, fuck him, and be on my merry way.

Only, you hadn't ever done this before. Only, it was your first time being alone in a nightclub. Only, you didn't know how to flirt- all your sexual experiences being with past lovers.

Oh god, this was such a bad idea.

If I just turn around a little bit, just a little, at a distance of like two steps, I can be out and into the confines of my home and wallow in-

No. Stop doing this. Calm the fuck down.

Making your way to the bar before your brain could talk you out of it, you order a Cosmo. You'd rather have your wits about you if you were going to fuck a stranger.

Fuck, am I actually doing this?

You swirl in your bar stool, looking around, and within seconds, lock eyes with a handsome stranger leaning against the wall right on the opposite side of the nightclub.

Oh, I'm doing this, alright.

You offer what you think is a flirtatious smile, and the man smiles so brightly at you, you get whiplash.

Heck yeah, I'm definitely doing this.

The bartender calls over to you to let you know that your drink is ready, promptly ending the little staring contest you'd unknowingly been participating in.

You turn back and accept your drink.

When you look over your shoulder again, the stranger is gone. Looking around, you don't see him again.

I'm not gonna get it today, am I?

Just as you were about to actually physically whine, you feel a light tap on your shoulder.

"Is this seat taken?"

Hah! I'm getting it.

You shake your head a little too eagerly, hoping it doesn't show. If he notices your enthusiasm, he doesn't say anything. Sliding into the stool next to you, he turns to face you,

"I'm Felix."

Now that you have gotten over your little mental victory dance, you hear him, like really hear him.

"What the-"

"That's an interesting name." He chuckles, not at all bothered by your bluntless.

"Sorry, it's just, your- your voice... " You fumble about, not really knowing what to say.

"Is..?" He cocks up an eyebrow.

Oh, he was enjoying this a little too much.

"Really-" You almost said 'turning me on.' It was. It really was. It was so thick, deep and velvety. Like the deepest of hot dark chocolates melting and trickling down the wine glass. Just a lick of your wine tinted lips, and you could get a heavenly mouthful.

Snapping out of the reverie of thirsty thoughts you'd found yourself in, you are suddenly aware that you never completed your earlier thought. He doesn't seem to mind, looking patiently at you with an amused expression, sipping on his whiskey he'd apparently ordered in the time you were thirsting over his voice.

"- uh, really deep." You settle. Your add your name at the last minute. God, he only just came here and your brain was already short circuiting.

"Nice to meet you." He flashes that million watt smile at you again and you fucking melt.

It doesn't make sense, how a criminally handsome man, with voice as deep as a void, had the cutest fucking toothy smile.

Are those freckles I'm seeing!? Lord have mercy, kill me while you're at it, why don't you.

You manage to crack out a smile, and he beams. The rest of the night goes on smoothly. The conversation is natural between you two. No forced topics, no awkward silence. It's almost perfect. Key word : almost.

The only problem being, he hasn't made a move on you once. Heck, he didn't even try to flirt with you, let alone touch you. You waited and waited, but nothing happened.

Does he have a girlfriend?

You carefully manage to slip it into coveration, but he denies it.

Oh, so you're just not interested in me, huh? That's nice to know.

As the night goes on, your hopes keep getting lower and reach an all time low when he guides you out of the club and helps you into the Uber.

"Aren't you getting in?" You ask in a last ditch attempt to get him to see that you very clearly want him.

"Nah, I live around the corner here. I'll be fine walking. Get home safe."

On the ride home, you realise he didn't even ask for your number.

Was I that off putting?

Over the course of the week, you get to know that he didn't need to ask for your number, because you see each other everyday at the same place, same time. You always get a Cosmo, he always gets a whiskey, you talk all night, he keeps his distance.

That last part frustrated you to no end, made you want to pull your hair out.

Does he really just want a friend? That can't be it, right? Who looks to make a friend of the opposite sex at a nightclub?

Felix did, apparently. It became plenty clear what he saw you as, on the sixth day of you both hanging out together.

He had called a cab for you yet again - much like almost every other day - when you drunkenly mumble, "Thanks for always doing this for me."

"Hey, don't mention it. That's what friends are for, right?"

That's enough to sober you up.

As the cab begins moving forward, you feel your heart sieze. You don't know when your need to fuck him turned into this stupid crush you're just coming to terms with. But as the cab ride continues, the pain seeps through and you come to the realisation that it isn't - wasn't - just a stupid crush. It was so much more.

Such a unique flavor of masochism, unrequited love.

You wash the tears away in your shower later that night, only to cry some more.

So really, he's just being kind when he's so worked up about your boyfriend ditching you.

"I'll call you a cab."

"Just like the old days." Your drunken mind muses.

Felix doesn't reply, but you think you see a flick of seriousness on his face. It's gone as soon as it came, leaving you to wonder if your drunk mind was playing games on you.

"Ugh! There are no cabs available."

"I'll just wait around for one to pass by, then."

"While you're drunk this late in the night? Like hell you will."

You just giggle in response and Felix almost coos at the sight. Bringing his attention back to the matter at hand, for a moment - just a moment - he thinks about taking you home with him. It's just a few minutes walk away. But he quickly shuts it down. As pathetic as it sounds, he doesn't really trust himself around you.

Finally deciding on the best game plan that doesn't involve him having to check himself and his little guy down there, he takes your hand and guides you away from the club.

You don't even question him, trailing behind, barely managing to walk straight.

The walk is silent, his hand in yours warm. You both stop in front of an apartment complex about ten minutes later.

"Is this your place?" You wonder out aloud.

"Yeah, just wait here. I'll be back."

You grasp at his sleeve just as he's about to take off "What do you mean wait here? Am I not coming in?"

"Uh, there's no need. I'll be two minutes. I just have to get my car keys and then I'll drop you off."

All the insecurities from months back return with an ugly thump.

"Am I really that unappealing to you?" You find your wobbly voice saying, the alcohol doing the talking for you.

"What?" He's taken aback by the sudden question. Moreso, by the sudden gloss that covers your eyes.

"Even back then, you approached me but never tried anything. Am I that unattractive to you?"

Was that what you had been thinking all this time?

How does he tell you, the reason he didn't make any moves was because he wanted to do it right? He didn't see you as just a fuck. Sure, he approached you with that intention, but as you began to talk, he felt that spark, that connection with you he had never experienced before. Being with you was easy. He wanted to be around you more. He didn't want to screw this up by propositioning you. You would fuck, then what? He wanted you in his life, so he had to play his cards right.

Alas, he had never been much of a card-sharp.

Two months after the cab incident, where he fucked up and called you a friend, you had started dating your now boyfriend.

It had shattered him. Seeing you laughing with someone else, kissing someone else. The chance went right past him.

If only he had known. If only he hadn't been such a coward.

Stepping towards you, he hesitantly holds you at arms length, looking into your eyes. He's not sure what he sees there. Why does it matter to you? Has it bothered you all this time? Why, though? You never gave any signs that you liked him back. That's ridiculous. You wouldn't be dating your current boyfriend if you felt anything at all for him.

He brushes the thought aside, blaming your strange behaviour on alcohol and hormones at having been ditched by your boyfriend.

"Hey, no. You're beautiful, okay? You're- you're.." He feels a lump forming in his throat. How does he go about explaining what he truly thinks of you? If he were to keep talking, he would end up confessing, he's sure.

"Just- just stay, here, okay? I won't take more than a minute." He rushes off.

A part of him feels bad at not reassuring you more, but he just has to get away from you, your warmth. The urge to take you in his arms too strong, he feels his restraint slipping away.

This is exactly why he didn't want to let you stay the night.

Sure enough, within a minute, he's out with a key dangling off his fingers.

You have considerably calmed down by then, despite it being only a minute since you were practically ready to cry.

Just alcohol and hormones. It's okay.

You walk off to his car without looking at him and yank the car door. It doesn't budge, "Are you gonna keep standing there?"

Felix is visibly taken aback at your harsh tone and choice of words, dumbly unlocking the car and getting in with you.

Hormones. Hormones. Alcohol. Hormones.

The entire car ride, you're silent. But it's just the calm before the storm, he can feel it.

When he stops in front of your place - having known your address after calling the cab for you on multiple occasions - you just sit there, unmoving. He can see you simmering away. Whatever's going on in your head, it can't be pleasant.

Contrary to what he'd thought, you reach out for him and rest your hand on his collarbone, half covered by his silk shirt.

"Did I tell you that you look good today? So pretty." Your voice is but a whisper and the drowsy expression on your face has him reeling.

When he doesn't say anything - but doesn't resist your touch either - you slide your hand futher up his clavicle, stopping at the base of his throat, then slowly traveling up and over his adam's apple, across his jawline, to the back of his head. Sinking your fingers into his mullet, you mumble "So soft," eyes glazed over, lips parted. Your thumb pokes out from under his ear and you quickly run it over his bottom lip, "so so soft." Your words feel distant to your own ears, as if they're echoing from somewhere underwater and not your mouth.

He looks into your eyes that are fixed at his lips. Your cheeks are a pretty shade of pink, your lips wet and pillowy. Your pupils are blown wide, and you look... turned on?

The sight of you has blood rushing straight to his cock before he can stop it.

Your eyes find his again, an electricity zings through his nerves and it's all he can do to not give in and sink his teeth into that godforsaken lower lip of yours.

You lean forward, his breath hitches. He can feel your breath right on his lips and honestly, it's turning his brain to mush.

Before things could go any more South, before his dick can get any harder, he latches onto the last bit of sanity he has left.

"Y-you have a boyfriend." Is all he says, finding himself physically incapable of outright denying you.

The simple statement seems to have knocked some sense into you, as you suddenly pull away, eyes wide, that drowsy look wiped clean off your face.

"Sor-rry, I should- I should go. Yeah." You fumble with the seatbelt and next thing he knows, you are out the door.

The air around him feels entirely too cold without your warmth, increasingly too harsh without your sweet scent filling it.

The wind is chilly, goosebumps braking across your skin. Not really surprising considering it's nearing the end of the year.

Not the best idea to wear a sheer bodycon dress, I guess.

Wrapping up on yourself you softly exhale, your breath condensing and curling, dancing away in the cool midnight breeze.

You feel a sudden warmth on your shoulders.. A jacket?

"What is up with you and the whole drunk-stranded-alone-at-midnight thing?"

That deep velvety voice.

You hadn't seen him in the two months since what you've decided to call your 'drunken fuck up'. He didn't show up at the club after, and it's then that you realised you didn't have each other's numbers, still.

"Your boyfriend leave you again?"

"No. I left him."

"What?" He isn't sure he understands.

"I broke up with him." You're not sure why you want him to understand.

It's then that he looks at you fully, his beautiful face iluminated even more beautifully by the full moon that looms over the two of you, silently watching. His raven locks are parted almost in the centre, forehead exposed, bangs reaching his eyes.

Fuck, he's gorgeous.

He watches you intently. You have no idea what's going on in his head, his expression unreadable.

You think back to what went down in his car all those days ago. You definitely picked up on the fact that he was aroused too, that he wanted what you wanted too.

You were sure. But another thing you also were, was drunk. Could you have misread the entire situation?

"How are you getting home?" he disregards your comment altogether.

But of course, rejection at its finest. Just my luck.

"Cab."

He chuckles, "You know how to hail a cab?"

"Had to learn to since you ghosted me." The remark comes off with more of a bite than you had intended.

He falls quite, face turning serious. His attempt at keeping the conversation lighthearted having failed miserably.

Guess it's now or never.

"Hey, the reason I backed off that da-"

"I know. You were right to do that. Thanks. But what I don't know is why you had to ghost me after."

He sighs. Truth be told, he doesn't know himself. He didn't think it through. You have a way of making his head go blank, of making him lose the ability to think rationally and make mature decisions.

"I know it was a dick move, and I-I honestly don't know what I was thinking."

You squint your eyes, waiting.

One look at your face and the word vomit begins, "I-I've wanted you since that day we met last year. I wanted you that day, but then we talked and then I actually began to like you. And I didn't want to mess it up, so- so I didn't do anything about it that day - or the next day - or the next week. God, that was my biggest mistake! I thought I was taking my time, when I was really just being a coward. I... I realised a little too late that I liked you a little too much and by then... By then- you.. " He swallows, looking away.

You take a step forward, reaching out for him much like you did that day, cupping his chin, turning his face towards you.

"Do you still want me?" You whisper, eyes transfixed on those darn pink lips of his that were looking a little too appetizing right about now.

"Ye-"

The word is barely out of his mouth and you're swallowing it, pushing your lips onto his with such force, you both stumble back and his hands fly to grip your waist tightly.

And you love it, you love finally having his hands on you, your lips on his, his breath in your mouth.

You move your lips against his, slowly nibbling, then suking on his bottom lip, biting softly. He yelps a little, but there's no way in heck you're stopping now.

You lick at his lower lip to sooth the ache, your way of saying you're sorry.

And then do it all over again.

You part his lips with yours, tongue slipping in, twirling around his own, exploring his mouth, taking in the taste of him. He groans, breathing hard and goes to pull away, probably to breath, but you don't let him.

Fisting both his collars in your hands, you yank him toward you, your entwined tongues now transferring into your mouth due to the momentum with which he falls forward. You gladly welcome it.

You let him set the pace this time. His hot wet tongue caresses your own, gliding and flicking. He withdraws it, and suddenly sucks borderline violently, and in the next moment, you find that your tongue is in his mouth again, and he's still sucking on it.

A loud honk jolts you apart, both of you panting, a string of saliva still connecting your lips.

It's him who still has the wits to turn around and come face to face with a very annoyed cab driver. How long had he been here?

The tips of his ears burning red, he steps away from your grasp whilst you catch your breath.

You don't register what he does or what he says. In your dazed state, you can only make out the low rumble of his deep voice and the sound of a car taking off.

His hand suddenly grasps your. He looks into your eyes with a questioning look and you know exactly what he's asking for. You quickly nod and he wastes no time tugging you along.

His apartment is only ten minutes away, but the buzzing between your legs is too strong and your willpower is too weak.

You feel desire overtake the rational part of your brain, arousal clouding your judgement.

He isn't faring any better, ducking into an alleyway to take a shortcut.

As if sensing your impatience, he goes "Just another two minutes." His voice is gruff, the octave even lower than what it usually is.

It was no secret that his voice was your weakness, and hearing it take on such a low note, something in you snaps.

Before you know it, you're pushing him against the wall in the alleyway, taking those pillowy lips between yours. There's no time for build up, no time to fool around. You want to inhale him.

He makes a sound at the back of his throat, the kind that lets you know you're doing it right.

Primal need consuming you, your hands hastily go down to his belt, fumbling and unbuckling.

That seems to catch his attention, "W-wait!"

Your reaction is immediate, dropping your hands and pulling back slightly, you pant "What's wrong? You don't want this?"

"No!" He flinches when he yells a little too loud, "I mean, no, I do, I do want it. God knows I want to. Just.. Not here."

You relax at that. Your hands find purchase on his belt again, slowly sliding along towards the buckle. You lean back into him and whisper against his lips, "Can't wait. I've waited enough."

With one clean move his buckle is undone, your hands hovering over his zipper, eyes carefully studying his face. If he's genuinely uncomfortable doing this here, you're not going to force him. But if there's a chance that he might be willing, you're jumping at it.

"Please, angel. You don't know how long I've been wanting this. I want to do this right. I want to worship you like you deserve."

If you could, you might melt into a puddle right then and there, but his dick is just a few centimeters away from your fingertips, and your mind is just a little unhinged.

You click your tongue impatiently, "You know damn well what happened the last time you tried to do this right. You wouldn't want history to repeat, would you?" His fly is undone in a flash. Honestly, you don't know how. You're not controlling your motions or your words right now. It's as if something has come over you, but you're not sure what, "Tick tock, baby."

He still looks uncertain, so you allow yourself to be serious for a moment, for one last moment before caution and all else is thrown out the window, "Just let me blow you, alright? Then we can go back to your place."

He grunts at your choice of dirty words, sounding pained, "Fuck, you want me dead, don't you?"

You're still looking at him and he gives you a nod. That's all the signal you need to deftly pull his entirely unnecessary pants and boxers down, letting his cock spring free.

To be tactful, he's well endowed. To be filthy, he has a fat cock.

You wrap your hand around him, finally finally feeling it in your palm.

You squeeze very slightly, he fucking twitches and you think you might die if he's not in your mouth within the next ten seconds.

Dropping to your knees, your spit on your palm, coating his length generously. Then, just for good measure and only partly to put on a show, you spit on his now wet cock.

"Didn't know you were so dirty", he breathes, sounding awed.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it. I don't do clean." You smirk up at him and that's all the warning he gets before you are taking him in your mouth, all the way until he hits your uvula.

"ah, fuck-"

You smile, mouth still full of him and angle your head upwards, so that he can slip into your throat. He does so, and you're concentrating on taking him as deep as your throat will allow. That's when he starts begging,

"A-angel, please. Ah shi- just please."

Oh, how sweet he sounds, you absolutely have to tease him.

You release him with a loud, wet 'pop' "Please, what?"

He's breathless, looking down at you with so much vulnerability that you almost feel bad for teasing him. Almost.

"Please just, ugh, please keep going."

You would like to make him work more for his release, but to be quite frank, you already miss the heavy weight of his cock in your mouth.

Taking him this time is a little easier as your jaw has adjusted to the sheer size of him. Looking right into his eyes, you take him all the way to the back of your throat, and Felix promptly loses it. He's pulling at his own hair, grunting, and panting.

Your don't move or bob your head, instead stay there with him down your throat, and move your tongue along the underside of his shaft, not quite twirling - only because there's no space in your mouth that is stuffed so full - just caressing.

"Oh god, please, please. Angel, please."

You decide to take mercy on the poor guy, deciding not to play with him anymore.

Maybe next time.

Keeping him in your throat you swallow once, twice and then he's cumming, thick white spurts shooting directly down your air column, almost making you gag. But you're nothing if not stubborn. You swallow all of him and pull away when he starts to whine from the sensitivity.

You're panting, he's panting. Life's good.

"C'mere." his voice is hoarse even though it's your throat that has just been abused.

He pulls you into a kiss that's altogether too sweet given what just went down.

"Let's go."

You don't know how you get to his apartment. Hell, you don't even know how you get into the bedroom. All you know is that as soon as you're within the privacy of four walls, it's like a switch flips within him. He's practically tearing your clothes away, your shirt and jeans tossed aside into some corner of the room. His own clothes recieve the same treatment shortly after.

Left only in your bra and underwear, you take in your surroundings. His room is well organised. Minimalistic, yet homey and cozy. A soft yellow light is on in lieu of the tubelight, painting the room in a sombre glo-

Your train of thoughts is cut off by your own yelp.

"Eyes on me, angel." Gone is the sweet guy with doe eyes who was begging you in the dark alleyway. The person in front of you is the man with such deep and velvety a voice, he could pass for a siren.

As he approaches you, the look in his eyes so carnal, you're sure you're about to be thrown onto the bed. You've never been much for manhandling, but you'd be willing to give it a shot for him.

So consider your surprise when - as opposed to the utter hunger in his eyes - he tenderly places one hand on the the small of your back, the other holding your head, securing you in his hold. You are guided onto your back on the bed so gently that it hurts, him coming up to hover over you.

"You're so pretty. So so pretty. My pretty angel." His lips find your cheek, kissing softly and then trail down, across your jaw, to your throat where he leaves butterfly kisses. He moves to work at your collarbones, licking long stripes on each one and moving downwards between the valley of your breasts.

You squirm under him, wanting some sort of relief from the growing heat between your legs. "Felix," you breathe out, not sure where the sentence was going, but it only felt natural to say his name out loud like you've always been wanting too. Far too long than you care to admit.

"Shh, angel. Please let me take my time. I've been wanting to worship you forever." He pulls the cups of your bra down, mouth attaching to one of your nipples.

His tongue swirls around your bud, getting it all nice and wet before sucking the wetness right off it. He continues this game of his for a little while, till both your nipples are hardened and sensitive. Letting up with a lewd pop, he gazes down at them and seemingly satisfied, moves down your body.

He drags his tongue from the base of your sternum to your belly button in one long lick, stopping to suck a hickey just underneath it, on your lower belly.

You tried to indulge him, you really did. Even so, you are but a weak woman when it comes to the object of your desires, that happens to be present right here. So close, yet so far away.

"F-felix. Just..."

"Just what, angel?" He smirks.

Oh, this motherfucker.

You pout up at him, "Is this your way of taking revenge or something?"

The smirk on his face disappears. He crawls up to come to eye level with you, face suddenly earnest.

"No, angel. This is about you, only about you. Tell me what you want. I'll give it to you." His eyes flash with genuine care, "God, I'll give you everything. Just tell me. Please."

You could feel the sincerity coming off him. He wasn't just talking about sex. He really would give you anything, if only you gave him a chance.

In all the years of your sexual experience, you were rendered wordless for the first time. No one had been so thoughtful, so open, so vulnerable with you. Your ex never cared enough to ask what you wanted. He just did what he felt like.

It wasn't just him who did that. All the guys you'd slept with only ever cared about their release.

So, much like all the other worldly things, you'd come to realise that if you wanted something, you'd have to take it. You weren't going to sit around, waiting for someone to be nice enough to throw some empathy your way.

No, you knew what you wanted and took it. You came to terms with the fact, and that was when you built the whole dom persona around yourself. Being snarky and mouthy in bed, trying to overpower, fighting for dominance, setting your pace on your terms.

But now, with Felix looking at you with so much adoration, offering pleasure, your pleasure for nothing in return - requesting you to let him pleasure you, you couldn't help but question,

Why had I done all that?

Sex wasn't a fight. It wasn't about who was on top. It was about mutual gratification, two people satisfying each other.

He could sense the surprise on your face. "Why do you look so taken aback, angel?" He gently asks, brushing your hair off your forehead.

"It's just.. no one's ever.. said that."

"Said what?"

"No one's put my need above theirs. No one's asked me what I want."

His brows furrow at that, "Not even your ex?"

You shake your head no.

"I knew that bastard treated you like shit, but I had no idea he didn't even fuck you right." He looks angry now, "But know this, angel, as long as you'll let me, I'll give you anything you want. So tell me, tell me what you want. Nothing is off limits, okay?"

Nothing?

This sends your brain into overdrive. Here is a drop dead gorgeous man, ready to be at your service, telling you that you could ask anything of him, do anything to him, and he'll... let you?

Your mind is reeling at all the possibilities, yet you can't seem to say much.

He, yet again, perceives your hesitance, understanding that this might be new territory for you, and offers "Can I taste you?"

You can only nod.

Slowly, he descends down until he's face to face with your crotch. Hooking his thumbs into the waistband of your underwear, he removes them in one swift motion, and almost groans at the sight.

Index finger running up and down your slit, he hums, gathering your wetness, only to swirl it in and around your labia, smearing all over.

As he leans forward, you expect him to dive right in, but he does no such thing.

Landing his tongue flat, he licks up your outer lips, the reason for all the smearing abundantly clear now. He goes at it until there's nothing left to lick, and only then does he move onto the inside of your folds.

Using only the tip of his tongue, he slowly traces the inner outline of your inner lips, not sucking, just collecting your juice, pushing it upwards and letting it pool on your clit. Once he's made a nice little puddle there, he closes his lips around the bud and sucks. Hard.

"fuck-"

His enthusiasm escalates at the exclaimation, repeating the action over and over. Your hand flies to his head, gripping his hair and guiding it up and down, pushing him in. He takes a deep breath, as if suddenly breathless.

No shit, he is breathless. How's he supposed to breath down there?

Releasing him, you panic "Oh shit! I'm so so-"

"Shh, it's okay, take what you need. I told you it's about you," He takes your hand, guiding it back to the back of his head, curling his fingers around yours, until you're fisting those silky locks, "suffocate me in your essence. Fucking drown me."

That damn velvety voice saying those vile words does something to you. You feel your resolve crumble, and before you can question yourself, you're pulling his head back between your thighs, moving it around, seeing what feels best.

He doesn't resist. He sticks his tongue out and keeps it there, letting you move his head.

It's when his wet muscle passes your hole that you let out a loud moan. He thought you'd push him in there, but instead your movements turn frantic and you begin to wiggle your hips against his face, seemingly frustrated. It's then that he realises that you don't know what felt good and this is you trying to chase after that feeling that you lost.

"Have you never had your cunt eaten, angel?"

Damn him for sounding so cute while uttering such filth.

"Nobody cared enough to."

"Don't worry, I got you. Just relax for me, okay?"

You nod and let go of his hair, head falling back onto the mattress.

He buries his face back where it belongs, if he were to say so himself, and wastes no time putting his tongue into your hole, deeper than it went last time. And sure enough, he's rewarded with an ever louder moan from you.

Determined to give you the best orgasm of your life, he uses one of his thumb to lift the hood of your clit, the other rubbing up and down the bundle of nerves. That has your back arching. Lost in pleasure you wrap your legs around his neck, pulling him further in.

He grunts, happy to be smothered. Each flick of his thumb has that familiar feeling bubbling in your tummy. It builds and builds and builds.

It's when he starts pumping that damn tongue of his in and out of your hole, that you see white sploches in your vision, mind going blank. You don't realise what's going on. All you know is that you can't feel your legs. It's like you've been brainwashed, like you're fucking levitating.

Slowly, your vision returns, breathing evens out, and your brain reboots. When you come down from your high, you're distinctly aware of the wetness all over your thighs, soaking the sheets beneath you.

"Holy fuck, did I just-"

You look beside you where Felix is laying sideways, propped up on an elbow, looking at you with a smug look, clearly proud of himself.

"Yes, you did. I think you took the whole 'drown me' part quite seriously."

You let out an embarassed sound that was almost a squeal, and curl up into his chest.

He laughs at your cute shyness, as if you weren't grinding on his face a moment ago "Aw, it's okay, angel. That was hot."

You peer up at him through your lashes, "Hot?" You ask so cutely, he could take you then and there.

"So hot." He confirms

You give him a lopsided grin.

"But you look so fucked out right now. Was I that good?"

"So good." You reach up to kiss him, and the kiss has only just begun, when you feel his stiffness poking against your thigh.

He's so hard, it must hurt. You want to help him but know for a fact that your pussy is of no use right now, so you do the only other thing you can.

You wrap your hand around him, and start flicking your wrist.

"Ah fuck- angel, you don't h-have to. Take a breather."

"But you've been hard for so long. I want to help."

"It's- ah- it's okay. I came already, remember?"

That flips a switch in you. You swing your leg over both of his, lifting up to hover over him, straddling his hips. "Lee Felix, you're not getting out of this without fucking me."

He laughs at that, "Wouldn't dream of it, angel."

You smile and bend down to kiss him. His lips are still wet with your juices and you lick it off them before sliding your tongue in. The kiss turns frantic. There's nothing sweet about it. It's just a messy exchange of spit, and you wouldn't have it any other way.

"Condom?" You whisper into his mouth.

His eyes widen, "Shit! I-I don't have one." He looks about fit to cry, like a child whose favourite toy's been snatched right out his hand.

You almost laugh at his big, glassy eyes, "I'm on birth control. And clean. Are you?"

"I am!" He lets out a little too excitedly.

"Then we don't need a condom. Unless you'd rather not. It's okay. We don't have to if you're not comfortable."

He damn near chokes at that, "You- you mean I g-get to do this raw?" His eyes sparkle like the same toy's been returned to him, with an upgrade.

"Yes," you whisper in a low and sultry voice, "You get to do me raw."

His next groan is almost pained.

"You want to, baby?"

"Please."

You reach between your bodies, wrapping your fingers around him again, giving a few pumps for good measure - and maybe to hear him groan, but nobody needs to know that - and guide him to your entrance.

As you begin to sink down on him, he holds you still with his hands on your hips.

"W-wait. Wait, please."

"Everything okay?"

He laughs, "Yeah, yeah, good. Great. Just.. a little too great."

You don't get what he means and tilt your head.

He lets out another embarassed chuckle, "If you keep going, I might blow right now."

You smile, endeared "It's okay. I already finished earlier, just let go."

He suddenly sits up, and with him still sheathed in you, flips the two of you over, so that now you're on your back and he's hovering over you.

"No, I promised that this is about you. You are cumming at least twice."

Before you can protest, he pulls out just enough, and rams back in. The protest dies in your throat as it makes way for a loud moan to slip out.

"Fuck, so tight. You like that, angel?"

You clutch onto his shoulders as you nod, urging him to keep going.

Lucky for you, he's in no mood to stop.

He grinds and rolls his hips against yours, creating that delicious friction, but it's nowhere near enough for either of you. And that's exactly why he's doing it. He wants to draw this out, as much as he can.

"Angel, you're sucking me in. Won't even let me pull out. You want me that much?"

"So much." Your voice is distant now, lost somewhere in the lustful daze. He can feel it too.

Pulling out, he flips you flat on your stomach, and nudges your legs apart ever so slightly.

You're so far gone in the haze that you don't have it in you to try to take control, something you've always been doing.

But that's just the point, isn't it? To let go for once, to not fight and just give in to the moment.

And then, you feel it once again. That sinful stretch, his cock dragging against your walls. You never want him to stop.

"Oh god, I could spend forever between your thighs."

Funny you say that.

He bends over forward, until his chest and abdomen are flush against your back, legs tangled together. He takes both your hands in his, entwining your fingers together, and resting them on either side of your shoulders.

Locked together like this, he begins moving, slowly fucking into you, hips pushing back and forth.

You've never been with anyone like this. Sure, you've had a lot of sex in your life, there was even a time when you went through a 'bad girl' phase where you tried scoring a new guy every week.

Not my finest moment.

But this? This feels a whole new level of intimacy you've never tapped into.

"Feel good, angel?"

Oh, lord. Could he get any more more perfect?

"Yes, baby. You feel so good." You're not normally very vocal in bed. But, as you'd already established, nothing about this situation was normal.

"Me too, angel, me too. Your cunt is heaven."

You moan at that. You were never one for praise either, especially not the dirty kind.

Fuck, am I not rediscovering myself today.

His hips move rhythmically against your ass, grinding, moving in circles, pistoning, trying all sorts of things. But always at the same slow leisurely pace. You reach your hand back and squeeze his ass, nails digging into the flesh and push him further into you.

You don't know why you do that. Perhaps to get him to increase his pace or because you want to finish. Or.. maybe you just want him close. Close to a level you've never been with anyone.

His hips stutter, ass clenching under your palm, "fuck, d-don't- don't do that. I won't last."

"You don't have to. It's okay, we can do this again. We have all the time in the world. Don't hold back."

"We can?"

"Mhm." You say, noticing that this is the third time he's said something about wanting to make this last. Come to think of it, he was on the verge of cumming when he flipped you. Maybe this position helped him keep it together.

Wow, he must really want this. He must really want.. me.

Your thoughts are pulled from you when his hand reaches under you, rubbing you clit, his movements suddenly frantic, "Want you to come first."

You body begins to thrash as he continues his movements, hips not stopping once, pace increasing ever so slightly. You can feel your orgasm approaching, that familiar feeling rumbling in your stomach.

"So good, so beautiful, angel. My angel, aren't you?"

You don't have it in you to respond - a whimper will have to do - and Felix doesn't seem to want an answer either.

"Look so good like this, under me. Always wanna pleasure you, make you feel good."

God, that deep and rich voice whispering right in your ear was doing things to you.

Your body begins to tremble, thighs shaking.

"You close, angel? Gonna cum around my cock? Show me how good it makes you feel?"

You could feel your sanity chipping away, making room in your head not to be filled with anything. For the first time in what felt like forever, your head was empty. No overthinking, no thoughts, just Felix and his pretty cock and deep voice and angeli-

"Ah- Lix, I'm.. I'm-"

"Let go, angel."

With that, you're screaming, gushing all around his dick, body thrashing about, but you still manage to let out, "Inside, Lix, i-inside.. "

Felix lets out a loud grunt, the loudest he's been until now, "fuck, angel. I love you, fuck, fuck, fuck!" And then he's cumming, his arousal mixing with yours, the forbidden cocktail dripping out of you, over both of you, and onto the sheets. There's just that much of it.

He collapses on top of you, breathing heavy, chest heaving against your back.

Your mind tries to process what he just said, trying to make sense of it, understand the gravity of it. But you don't say anything, giving him the time to come down.

You lay there like that for a while, occasionally kissing, breathing, listening to each other's breathing, and kissing some more.

After a while, he pulls out, and chuckles.

You turn to look at him over your shoulder, to see him looking down at where your bodies were just connected.

"We made a mess. Think it might be a better idea to shower."

You nod, letting him pull you off the mattress. Your legs wobble a little, but he easily catches and steadies you. The trip to the bathroom is brief but your mind is restless. It's replaying the last words he said. Even as he carefully sets the temperature of the water just right, rubbing soap on your tired body with his small hands, kneading out the knots in your back, massaging you all over, his words are stuck in your head, swishing around.

He's massaging your shoulder when you suddenly hear the clearing of a throat, "So, about what I said.. "

Thank god he was willing to address it. You're not sure you could have survived the suspense any longer.

".. I, uh, want you to know that I'm sincere. I've been thinking about being with you ever since we met, and not in the way we were together just now. Uhm, I mean, together together."

You don't note the soft smile that takes over your face, "Me too." You turn around to face him, hands lodging on his shoulders, body naturally leaning into him.

That's the word. Natural. Being with him is so natural, as if you've done this a million times.

"You do?"

"I do. Maybe not love yet, but I'm sure if- when I get to know you, falling for you is going to be so natural."

He smiles at that, "Well, we better get to it then. How about a date tomorrow?"

"Excited, are we?"

"Please, if I could, I would take you out right now, but seeing as how I can barely stand, it will have to wait."

You laugh, feeling giddy and lean forward to peck him on the lips.

"So is that a.. yes?"

"Yes Felix, I'd love that."

He hums, moving forward, nuzzling his head in your shoulder, the voice reverberating from his chest to yours.

"God, your voice" slips out of your mouth without your own permission.

How rude.

"I know you have a thing for it."

"What?" Your cheeks heat up. You thought you weren't making it obvious.

"Why do think I was so talkitive towards the end?"

"I thought you just got mouthy when you were about to come."

"No," He laughs, "it's because I noticed how hot and bothered you got whenever I said something. I was just trying to help you finish."

Oh well, so much for being subtle.

"It's okay," He says picking up, yet again, on your embarrassment, "it can be your own exclusive kink."

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[iridescent-petrichor]

now i'm fallin' in faster

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: alcohol is consumed but it's pretty vague cause i don't know how to write drunk characters

Words: 3K

A/N: this is very loosely based on disaster by conan gray because I've been playing it on repeat all week thinking of jj so i hope yall like it !!!

It was a late night at the boneyard, where a party was in full swing.

You stood off to the side, rolling your eyes while Kie was in the middle of trying to convince you for the millionth time that JJ was deeply in love with you and that you had to ask him out right that instant. She’d had a few drinks and was a little more persuasive than she usually was.

Still, you continued to brush her off, eyeing the crowd around you while she nursed her drink.

“Y/N, I have known him my whole life. I am one hundred percent certain he’s in love with you!” She said, arms moving so enthusiastically that she almost spilled her beer onto the sand.

“Kie, he really isn’t.” While every part of you wanted to believe he really did like you, there was no way you’d let yourself get your hopes up only to have them crushed in the face of his rejection. “Plus, if I ask him out and he says no? That will destroy the group dynamic! I’ll never be able to show my face around him or any of you, and I refuse to be the reason that the pogues are forced to disband!”

“Except he’s not gonna say no!” Kie leaned closer to you, a wide smile on her face. She nudged you lightly, ignoring the glare you sent her way. “He really likes you, trust me.”

As the words leave her mouth, you look past her and see JJ Maybank himself.

He was leaning against a tree, drink in hand, talking to some touron that was batting her eyelashes at him.

You grimace, forcing yourself to look away just long enough to make disappointed eye contact with Kie.

It’s enough to make her turn, shoulders dropping sadly when she catches sight of him.

“Shit,” She muttered, giving you a pitied look that you tried to ignore.

You brushed it off, shaking your head and plastering on a smile.

“Hey, it’s fine.”

She doesn’t look the slightest bit convinced, so you keep talking.

“I was right at least.” You take a couple of steps away from her, already fishing your keys out of your pocket to flee the party scene.

Before you did, you quickly turned back to your friend, holding the keys up.

“You don’t need a ride home, right?” For emphasis, you dangled the car keys, but Kie shook her head.

“Nah, I got a ride tonight.”

You nod, forcing yourself to keep the smile on your face. Turning, you throw up a hand in a quick wave.

“Later Kie!”

You tried to ignore the feeling of bile in your throat as you trudged through the sand toward where you parked your car. While staying sober had made the night mind-numbingly boring, it gave you the opportunity to make a clean getaway before you had to talk to JJ and get your feelings hurt.

The whole drive home you kept the music on full blast, hoping that if it was loud enough it would keep your darker thoughts from invading your mind.

It only half worked.

Once you were finally home, you collapsed onto your bed with a heavy sigh, staring up at the ceiling while your thoughts went wild with every awkward thing you’d said and done since the party started.

Despite your reluctance, you forced yourself back up, climbing off the bed to peel off the uncomfortable clothes Kie convinced you to wear for the party. You did admit they made you look good, but in the dead of night when you were half awake, it didn’t feel very worth it.

Throwing on some soft pajamas, you curled back up in bed, pulling out your phone.

Like most nights, you found yourself hovering over JJ’s contact.

Usually, you would type out a long message detailing how in love with him you were, and then delete it like nothing ever happened. Now, however, you were eyeing the call button.

You knew he hadn’t gone home yet, and if you were to actually call him you doubt he’d even answer.

God, you just wanted to hear his voice.

The loneliest parts of you took control, and you let your eyes flutter closed for a second.

“Hello?” Your eyes shot open when you heard JJ’s voice on the other line, barely even registering the fact that you’d even pressed the call button.

Scrambling, you put the phone to your ear, cursing yourself internally as you stumbled towards an explanation.

“I’m so sorry,” You started, screwing your eyes shut in embarrassment.

“What’s up?” He asked. You could still hear the party going on around him, and you tried not to think about how he still picked up – and almost immediately, too.

“I’m just drunk,” The lie slips from your lips before you can really think about it. “I shouldn’t have called-”

“Y/N-” He tried to interrupt, but you were already rambling on.

“I just wanted to… um… chat?” You pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to get your brain to start functioning.

JJ didn’t say anything for a while, and you swore you faintly heard John B asking him a question in the distance.

“I’m just, uh, I’m drunk,” You repeated, still unsure why you were lying about that. If you thought any harder you would remember that you told JJ you weren’t drinking tonight when he offered you a solo cup full of beer. “I’m just gonna let you go, I’m sorry for calling-”

“Hey,” He almost sounded frustrated, and the firm tone made you freeze up. “Chill, Y/N.”

You stayed deathly silent, barely remembering to breathe.

“I know you’re not drunk, I saw you ten minutes ago driving home. What’s actually up?” Shit. You didn’t think he actually saw you leaving.

You didn’t know what to say, opening and closing your mouth with no luck.

“You don’t have to lie to me, you know.” JJ continued, his voice much softer now. “Why’d you call, sunshine?”

The nickname pulled something within your heart, and you were sure that if you were drunk, you would’ve told him everything in an instant.

“Just wanted to talk?” It came out almost like a question, and you could hear a car door opening and closing on the other line.

“What’d you wanna talk about?”

And so, the two of you spent the next few hours chatting about anything that came to your mind. JJ had moved into the Twinkie to get away from the noise, and you forced your eyes to stay open despite how exhausted you were, just to talk to him.

“Hey, maybe I’ll drop by tomorrow. I can bring food and we can watch some movies?” He said it in a way that made it sound like he was unsure you’d even say yes. The thought of him coming over alone made your heart beat just a little faster, despite how often it had happened at this point.

It was nights like these that you liked to pretend he could be yours. Deep down, you knew it was a fantasy that was far out of your reach, but with the way his voice was softer than anything, you couldn’t help the giddy smile pulling at your lips.

“That sounds nice.”

JJ chuckled, and you could finally hear him shifting from his spot on the floor of the Twinkie.

He only hung up when John B began piling into the car with Pope and Kie in tow, hurriedly telling you goodbye before you were sitting alone in the silence of your bedroom.

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face no matter how hard you tried, keeping your phone tucked close to your chest as if it would float away.

You were definitely in too deep.

Slowly, you brought yourself back to reality, the darkness of your room reminding you that JJ was not in fact yours, and if he hadn’t been on the way to the Chateau right now, he’d be bringing home the nearest girl that gave him the time of day.

He wasn’t yours, and you had to get over that.

It was in the middle of your spiraling that your phone buzzed.

It was a text from JJ.

“Is noon tomorrow okay?”

You grinned, remembering he was coming over. He may have all the girls on the island wrapped around his finger, but you were the one he wanted to see outside of the parties and away from all the alcohol.

When another party rolled around, you weren’t surprised to see JJ not far off with a girl who you paled in comparison to.

You were already a little drunk, content in the knowledge that John B was driving you back to the Chateau with the rest of the pogues tonight.

JJ leaned closer to the girl, whispering something in her ear. She giggled, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, pushing through the party to get to the keg. You tried to squeeze your eyes shut, shaking your head a couple of times to rid the image from your mind, but it proved persistent. It felt like the image of him leaning over her was burned in your memory now.

Finally, you made it to the keg, and a kid around your age offered to refill your cup for you.

So you did.

Then, you refilled it again. And again. And again.

It wasn’t until Pope was grabbing the drink out of your hand that you really realized how far you had gone.

“Let’s get you home, okay?” John B’s voice made you turn, not even noticing him standing beside Pope until he spoke.

Home, you knew, meant the Chateau. There was no way John B would drive you home to face your parents when you were this plastered.

With a faint nod, you let him guide you to the car. Pope followed, calling out to Kie to let her know they’d be back once they got you situated.

You were silent the whole car ride there, half asleep on Pope’s shoulder.

When you arrived, Pope opened the door for the two of you and walked you inside with John B trailing behind. He tossed you a pair of old sweatpants you left behind forever ago, and one of the guys’ t-shirts that was lying around, turning around while you changed.

Once they made sure you were situated, they left to make their way back to the party.

You sat alone in the guest room and pulled out your phone.

The confession you would type out to JJ became nearly a nightly ritual, so much so that even in your drunken state you were focused on typing out everything you were feeling for him.

You stared down at the essay of a text message, exhaling deeply before going to delete it.

It wasn’t until your finger slipped and you pressed send that you began to panic.

Leaping out of the bed, you gaped at the screen in disbelief, hoping against all odds that it wasn’t real.

“Shit,” You hissed, the panic sobering you up just a bit. “Shit, shit, shit!”

Not only did you officially ruin everything, but you were still drunk and JJ was gonna come back with the group at some point. On nights like these, you usually slept in the guest room with him, since neither of you minded sharing a bed.

Guess that’s out the window, now.

“Fuck!” You threw your phone onto the bed, covering your mouth with your hands.

This can’t be real.

A couple of seconds had barely passed before you were lunging for your phone again. It was like a trainwreck and you couldn’t look away.

You sat there, staring at the phone for what felt like hours, though it couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes.

Every minute that he didn’t respond, you thought of a new reason that your friendship was over forever.

Suddenly, a knock at the door to the guest room startled you out of your thoughts. You stared at it for a few seconds before hauling yourself out of the bed, swinging the door open a little too fast.

JJ stood before you, holding his phone up with an unreadable expression.

“Can we talk?”

Your heart plummeted to the floor, and you barely managed a nod before he was shoving his way into the room, shutting the door behind him a little too harshly for your comfort.

“So,” He took a careful seat at the edge of the bed, looking up at you. “What was that text about?”

You were definitely still too drunk to have this conversation. Your heart was practically beating out of your chest and your knees were a couple of seconds away from buckling completely.

When you didn’t say anything, JJ quickly stood back up, the intensity of his gaze making you forget to breathe for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” You started, breathless.

He stayed silent, awaiting your explanation. Part of you was waiting too, because how the hell were you gonna get out of this one alive?

“I’m just really drunk,” The look in his eyes made you falter, but you forced yourself to press on. “I was gonna just delete it after I typed it out like I usually do, but I pressed the wrong button-”

“Like you usually do?”

Shit.

“Uh, I mean,” You rubbed the back of your neck, firmly avoiding eye contact. “I- uh, forget I said that?”

JJ shook his head almost imperceptibly.

“Listen just please can we forget this ever happened?” The second you looked into his eyes you regretted it. The look he gave you was almost as heartbroken as you felt.

In your drunken state, you continued talking, not letting him get a word in. Part of you thought that if you kept talking forever he would never get the chance to reject you.

“I just, I had a lot to drink – ask Pope, he’ll tell you. I was just really lonely cause I was… well, alone… and you were the first person I thought of, and-”

“Hey-” He tried to interrupt, but you were still going strong.

“It was just stupid drunk rambling. I mean, I could barely stand, JJ-”

“Stop.” The firmness in his voice made you do as he said.

“I didn’t mean it.” You finished quietly, barely able to get the words out.

“Don’t lie to me,” He sighed, dropping his gaze to the floor. You didn’t think it was possible, but you swore your heart broke even more when he refused to look at you.

It wasn’t until he chuckled lightly that you realized he wasn’t upset. He shook his head, still staring at the floor, the grin on his face widening.

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve been in love with you?” His words made your heart skip a beat, and you stared up at him in awe.

“What?” You couldn’t help but ask, trying to make sure you didn’t imagine it.

“God,” He threw his head back, rolling his eyes playfully. “Don’t make me say it again.”

A smile made its way onto your face, and you risked a step closer to him. The action alone made JJ’s full attention fall back on you.

You could feel your heart beating fast out of your chest with the way he was looking at you. The glint in his eyes was enough to nearly knock you off your feet, and you couldn’t tear your gaze away from his even if you wanted to.

“Hey,” Lightly, he brought a hand up, resting it on your shoulder. “This is your turn to say something.”

Still, you stayed silent, barely registering the words coming out of his mouth. You were sure you were stuck in a dream and one wrong move would make you wake up to a world where you were alone again.

“Please say something.” He repeated, and you managed to snap yourself out of the daze you were in.

“I didn’t think…” You trailed off, not realizing you’d grabbed his hand, mindlessly fiddling with his fingers.

“Didn’t think what, pretty girl?” He was smirking now, fighting every urge not to just kiss you right there.

You brought your focus back to him, taking silent note of how much closer he’d gotten to you.

“I didn’t think you liked me back.”

Ever so gently, he leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours.

“I don’t remember using the word like, sunshine.” His voice was low, near a whisper, but you heard him loud and clear.

“I guess Kie was right then.” You grinned, your hands moving up to rest at his waist. “I should’ve asked you out much sooner.”

“You really should’ve.” He pulled you impossibly closer. “Would’ve saved so much time.”

“I was just scared.” You pulled back just enough to get a better look at him. “I mean, you’re so… you, and I didn’t wanna ruin our friendship because if I asked you out and you said no it would destroy the whole dynamic we have, and then the group would-”

Before you could finish your sentence, JJ’s lips were on yours.

Instinctively, your hands came up, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. You felt him smile into the kiss before the two of you had to pull away for air.

“God, I can’t believe I can finally kiss you.” He muttered, now cupping your cheek with one hand.

With a light laugh, you buried your neck into his neck, letting yourself fall further into his embrace.

“Me too.”

And in the quiet moment, you forgot about the pogues that were surely piled on the couch down the hall. The only thing you could think of was how JJ’s arms were around you, his thumb gently rubbing up and down at your waist.

You were definitely in too deep.

[love-imagineitall]

Let Her Go

Pairing: Victor Zsasz x Assassin!Female!Reader

This is set in the first season only a little bit after Zsasz is at the GCPD for Gordon. Also I don't think I mention it in the story, but the reason that the reader was in prison for two years without getting broken out or anything was to go in and make more contacts in the female criminal world. Falcone had asked her to and after she thought she was done, he pulled his strings to get her released immediately.

TW: usual Gotham violence and allusions to smut, heavy make out sesh.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you kidding me Gordon!?!?"

"What the hell are you talking about Harvey?"

"Please don't tell me that is who I think it is that you have in that interrogation room?"

"Again I ask what are you talking about? I brought her in for killing a man right in front of me."

"Oh god," Harvey groaned shaking his head, "let her go right now" he said with a tone of urgency that Jim hadn't heard from his partner before.

"No, I've told you many times I'm not going to turn the other way just because these criminals have money or power," he says to Harvey seeming to be frustrated with his partner and the entire city of Gotham, as he steps back into the interrogation room.

"So, (Y/N) (L/N)? You want to tell me why you killed an innocent man? What did you want with him?"

"You must be the new hot shot," the woman in front of him smiled mischievously with her feet up on the desk. The way she smiled an kept her calm like that did concern Jim a little, but he pushed on.

"Gordon. Detective Jim Gordon nice to meet you. Now tell me why did you do it?"

"Jim... hmm, Jimbo can I call you Jimbo? I'm gonna call you Jimbo."

Harvey then entered the room and Jim noticed that he looked different, frightened even.

"Harvey! Long time no see"

"Hello (Y/N), I am so sorry about my partner. We will get you out of here as soon as we can there is no need to let any one know that you are here."

"No, Harvey, no we won't. She murdered a man right in front of me, she has to go to prison, but first I am going to find out why?"

"I love the place by the way it's been a while. Have you guys redecorated?"

"(Y/N)! I am done playing games with you now you are going to tell me what I want to know or I'm going to have to send you away for a long long time!" Jim yells, the frustration pouring out of him.

"Ooh, feisty" the woman says with a smile on her face. She turns to Harvey, "I like him"

"(Y/N)-," Jim starts.

"Look boys I'm only here because I wanted to take a look around, but now I've met the new guy and seen enough. I'd like to leave now"

"Are you kidding? That isn't how this works princess I saw you with my own eyes murder a man in cold blood, this is the police so yeah the only place that you are going is to prison."

The woman turns to Harvey, completely ignoring Jim, "Harvey, I'd say you got about a minute to let me go... we don't want a repeat of the last time now do we?"

"No ma'am" he says quietly shaking his head while pulling Jim to the side.

"You need to let her go like now," he says while constantly checking his watch.

"Who the hell is she Harvey?"

"You remember Victor Zsasz?"

"How could I forget?"

"Well look as scary and creepy as that dude is, she's a hundred times worse, she's even more deadly of an assassin than he is if you can believe that, but as of right now we haven't pissed her off. The thing I'm worried about is that those two aren't just colleagues, they've got this weird thing... and, and, and-"

"And what Harvey?"

"And he's not gonna be too happy that we've got his girl in lockup after he hasn't seen her for 2 years"

Just then the two detectives hear a gun shot, Harvey looks wide eyed at Jim, and pulls him back into the interrogation room.

"Uncuff her Jim! Uncuff her!"

"Right on time," (Y/N) says with a smile on her face.

The two detectives hurriedly rush to uncuff the woman sitting in front of them. As soon as they have her free and very pissed off Zsasz enters the room with guns a blazing.

"Hello darling," he says with a smile to (Y/N), immediately turning his attention and guns towards the detectives. The smile previously on the assassin's face now completely wiped away and replaced with an anger never seen before.

"Come on honey, we were just leaving" she grabs Zsasz by the arm, "oh and Jimbo, I'll see you around," the pair walking off with her sending Jim a wink. Zsasz walks with his girl out of the GCPD quietly leaving everyone there in awe and fear.

After the pair of assassins return to Falcone's house, (Y/N) immediately drags Victor up to the bedroom. After all the pair hadn't been this close in two years what with the woman being locked up in Blackgate prison.

"Ugh-" Victor groans as he pulls her in for a very hungry kiss

The two of them wasting no time and immediately going to the bed. She jumps on top of him, taking control and kissing him with even more passion.

She rips open his vest and going to pull down his pants when he flips her over and regains control, immediately kissing her again and pulling her shirt off. As the two are going at it and undressing each other, one of Falcone's men walks through the door to tell them to come down stairs, but as soon as he opens the door and begins to speak both assassins pull out their guns and shoots the man without breaking the kiss.

The pull back for a moment to catch their breath, and as they are breathing heavily, Victor tucks a piece of hair behind (Y/N)'s ear, flashes a toothy grin, and says "you are never leaving for that long again you hear me?"

Chuckling and grinning back at him, she replies, "wouldn't dream of it sweetness"

[http-paprika]

GOLD RUSH / ALEX KELLER

oh shit, I haven't written in ages. apparently all I needed was the be reminded that the golden (no pun intended) american boy exists, a Taylor swift song and suddenly i'm out of the biggest writing slump i've had in a while. well, enjoy this rambling shit and enjoy the introduction of my new call of duty oc, Beau. xoxo, paprika

alex keller x original female character / 512 words / sexual implications, but never actually expanded on

HOW could she not fondly watch him, the way his skin stretches over his broad shoulders, the marks, scars, and tattoos that tell their own story? It didn’t matter that Beau had emails to respond to or deadlines to reach, and a conference call with foreign allies in an hour, the sight of his tan line that peeps out from his waistband caught her eye every time. Encroaching in on her decisions and logistics, terrorizing her in the longest minute to ever exist. 

The moment breaks, Alex runs his hand through his dirty blond hair and down to his neck before turning to look at her as she collects herself from the trance. God forbid anyone see that Beau wasn’t the cool girl she pretended to be. 

“I’m going to shower and hit the road. Hate to keep you from all your important, top-secret work.” Alex tells her, the early sunlight gleaming in his blue eyes. He had places to be, she told herself, work to do, and other women to charm. It wasn’t personal, just his way of living that she didn’t have the courage to disturb. If Beau asked him to stay, would he oblige and waste another day by her side? Would he leave his Eagles shirt hanging from her bathroom door knob again? 

“Okay.” She nods, making herself look back down at her laptop that’s perched on her lap, with an unfinished email drafted to Laswell waiting for her to press send. It was so unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but Beau was determined to make it seem like it meant the world to her at that moment. Anything to keep her from asking for more. 

“Okay.” He repeats the statement, standing and searching the room for where he’d discarded his jeans the night before. Boxers snug around his waist when Alex bends over to pick up the pants and throw them over his shoulder. His eyes never look back over at her, an air of disappointment plaguing her as Alex grabs the old t-shirt from the bathroom door knob. 

Somehow navigating hostage situations, convincing militant leaders to agree to terms, and diving headfirst into warzones is less intimidating than this. A feeling of anxiety knotting up her bowels as he hums to himself the song Beau had played in her car the night before. It shouldn’t be this serious, shouldn’t cause her to stumble and falter. But his easygoing laugh and infuriating charm have hooked onto her, the line pulling her into a place she hasn’t been in a long time. 

“Hey, why don’t I make some coffee for the road?” Beau finally offers, the words spilling out of her mouth quicker than she can stop. It’s said in a rush, often synonymous when having a crush. But she’d never tell him that, Alex didn’t need to know every part of it. 

“I thought you’d never offer.” The look he gives her is golden, etched inside of her mind like her favorite song. Suddenly she understands the envy and desperation of the California Gold Rush. 

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for trying to kill a child in a time loop?

This isn't really something I want answers for, since I already know I am. I just really need to get this off my chest.

(note: this is a rewrite of a submission i've already done)

So... for context. I (12M but I was reincarnated) used to have the ability to play god... I could turn back time, start a completely new timeline, and different things would happen. A lot of the times though, I'd find everything that... 'route' had to offer and I'd just be bored.

So, this time I let the timeline go on for a little longer without interfering with anything. (Well, mostly everything. I still decided to be friends with the tall funny skeleton in Snowdin, like in all the routes I had did.)

A human (12NB) fell down. I thought... maybe I could take their soul and then go up to the surface. (Monsters, the species I used to be have been trapped underground for at least over a thousand years.) But then, my mom protected them. She doesn't know who I am, but I feel kind of resentful. Does she really hate me that much to replace me with another kid? This isn't the first time she's done this, too. Later, I discovered that they took my ability to have control over the timeline, which I got pissed over.

Later, the human would leave the ruins. They would enter an area, leave an area and then repeat. At some point, they reached the king of all monsters... my dad. They fought him and once he was weak enough, he started talking about his family and stuff... and he said he would take the human in as his child. Once again, my parents seemed eager at any opportunity to replace me.

So I killed him. Not for replacing me, but because he had 6 other human souls I could use to get to the surface. But first, I wanted to experiment. Nothing was ever new in my timelines, but then the human came and everything started feeling like an experience. A real experience. I wanted to see how'd they react to certain things, what outcomes could happen.

But I was a bit mad at them for taking my timeline powers away, so when I got them back, I tried to put them in a loop where they died over and over again. But then, the other 6 souls rebelled, and I was once again, reduced to a flower.

Later, I decided I would use them to gather all the monsters in one area, because all monster souls = 1 human soul, and 7 human souls makes you a god. So I did that.

When I got all of the souls, I returned back to my self before I died. I put the human through a death loop again, but then... they called out my name. My REAL name. I'm going to be honest, I thought they were my dead best friend. It's been so long since I've seen them, I just wanted them to be back.

So... I started crying. I realised what I was doing was wrong, and I stopped trying to harm the human. I apologized, (They surprisingly forgave me) broke the barrier between the surface and underground, and freed monsterkind.

Looking back at all of this, I started to realise more and more how... MESSED UP the things I did were. I'm trying to get better, at least.

Well... AITA?

[fishsticksloser]

Can I have a request that the rottmnt turtles s/o died with karai by the shredder and then came back as a ghost to reunited their boyfriend as they got their hamato ninpo they can defeat the shredder

Ghost of You

Raph x gn!reader

Warnings: death, injuries, angst, comfort, yo'kai/mutant!reader, this is pretty long...

A/N: I'm only doing one turtle because I wasn't really sure how to do the others without sounding redundant. Reader is either yo'kai or a mutant due to the fact that when they unlocked their ninpo, NYC was in the orb. I skip quite a bit of what happens, but this is still pretty long.

You had gone to the lair because you hadn't heard from your boyfriend all day. You hadn't seen him since the day before the Battle Nexus Big Mama held in New York.

"Raph?" You call, walking through the demolished lair. "Raphael!?"

Something explodes and you are buried under rubble. You can't move, even breathing hurts due to the dust.

"Gram Gram!" You hear Leo yell.

"No! The Hamato must live on!" Raph tells him. You wanted to yell for him. You were trapped, you needed him. You hear a lot of commotion before hearing someone yell about the Turtle Tank.

"For the boys." Draxum sighs.

"For our boys." Splinter corrects.

You hear fighting. Still trapped under the rock. Everything stopped soon after. You heard the Foot Clan play a video.

"I've got the Empyrean." Draxum grunts.

"Draxum! I cannot believe you are doing this you turned out..." Splinter groans.

"You knew this day was coming, rat." You could hear Draxum's evil smile. "He hates me. I hate him. It's kind of our thing and now I win."

"Where is the Empyrian?" Shredder asks.

"Down there in the Hidden City."

They left. You were still trapped. There was no sign of help. You didn't know how long you were there before you heard someone run in. You heard someone else moaning in pain.

"Guys, I'm coming!" You hear April call. Rubble starts moving somewhere nearby. "Karai!"

"Stop, we don't have much time..." Karai answers.

"No no. I gotta help you, take you to a hospital..."

"I will not be able to finish this journey. Now you must teach the family..."

"How can I? I'm not... I'm not one of you!"

"Oh my child... You have always been one of us..."

You see a bright green light and you felt power.

"April!" You cough. "April."

"Oh my god!" You feel rubble sliding off you. "Y/N! What... Does Raph know you're here?"

"April..." You gasp, you felt like you were drifting.

"No... Oh, please. Hang on!" You see tears slowly fall down April's face. "I'll get you to the Hidden City and we can get you some help, okay?"

April pulled you out of the rubble and helps you stand. You both limp out of the lair and you stumble. You start to fall, but April catches you and she lays you down.

"You're not going to make it, are you?" April sniffs. You shake your head, trying to get your final thoughts in order. She presses her forehead to yours. "I'm so sorry, y/n."

"It's not your fault." You breathe. "Please... Tell Raph..."

You couldn't finish, tears of your own falling. You couldn't think, couldn't speak. Still April nodded and held you.

"I'll tell him..." Her voice breaks as you finally drift away. "I'm so sorry, y/n... You deserve so much better."

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ⋆｡❤️ ｡⋆꒱ ˎˊ˗

"Guys! Guys guys guys guys guys!" April calls, running up to the turtles. They were in the woods with Todd.

"April?" Leo asks.

"Oh my gosh! You won't believe what happened." April tells them. "I went to the lair which is totally destroyed and found Karai and she turned into light and now I hear her voice inside my head!"

"Wanna say that one more time?" Donnie sighs.

"Karai. She did a Hamato glowy light thing and now I think she lives inside of me?" April repeats, the boys hug her.

"Gram Gram's alive?" Leo smiles.

"Gram gram, it's Mikey I miss you!" Mikey yells into April's ear.

"Gram gram would like you to let go and never do that again." April shoves Mikey away.

"Okay new plan. Gram gram tells April to tell us what to do. Please instruct us April Gram Gram sensei." Raph decides.

"She wants me to teach you the art of pinpo—" She hums.

"Ninpo." Donnie corrects. They continue to discuss the plan and what happened at the lair.

"Hey, Raph... Can I talk to you, privately?" April mumbles to him. Raph nods and they walk away from the group. "Something else happened at the lair..."

"What?" Raphael questions.

"Y/N was in the lair when it was demolished..." April begins, looking at the ground, tears starting to fall again. "They didn't make it... They wanted me to tell you um... They love you and they believe in you."

Raph didn't answer. He walked away, into the forrest.

"Is everything okay?" Mikey asks, they all watched Raph disappear.

"Y/N's dead..." April chokes. The other boys run after Raph. They find him sitting, back against a tree, crying. His brothers kneel next to him and wrap their arms around their eldest brother, tears also falling from their eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Raph..." Leo mutters.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ⋆｡❤️ ｡⋆꒱ ˎˊ˗

Slowly, Raph leans backwards, falling to the cliff. "Anatawa Hitorijanai.". Realizing this, his brothers jump after him, screaming at the top of their lungs. "RAAAAAAAAAPHHHHHH!"

Their markings begin to glow in the gorgeous light and their Hamato sign appears on their chest. Their clothing becoming black as night. Their bandana tails grew.

"Saving like a Boss!"

Leo, Mikey, and Donnie form a hand, Raph grabs it hand, and joins in the transformation. They land in the water, where April was watching. The turtles have gotten their true selves back.

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ⋆｡❤️ ｡⋆꒱ ˎˊ˗

"Hey Shredhead! We heard you were looking for some Hamato energy. Guys?" Raphael grins, turning to Leo and Mikey.

"Oh I think I got some for him." Leo chuckles, his trowels transforming into katanas.

"That's right it's us and we've had a bit of an upgrade." April smiles.

"Big time!" Mikey cheers, his rope transforming into num-chuks, Donnie's hoe turns into a bo staff.

"And this time around...." Donnie smirks.

"We won't lose." Raph chuckles, his hand rakes becoming sais. A drill erupts from behind them, explosions flood the sky.

"My drill is out of beta!" Donnie yells.

"Donnie nice. Now put it in action." Raph laughs.

"I did. It's just for hero poses." Donnie answers.

"Respect!" Leo applauds, leaning over Raphael's shoulder.

The fight begins, the boys and April flying around Shredder. Cassandra watches Splinter wither away. She knew she had to save him and eventually she has a change of heart. Casey attacks Shredder. She shatters one of the chains, the boys run to help Splinter. They join their mystic powers.

"Oh no it is not enough. I have failed." Splinter frowns.

"No dad we can do this. You may not have taught us everything."

"But you did teach us the most important thing."

"Be there for each other."

"Remember what your mom said to you that day at the park. You are not alone!"

"My sons I..." Splinter sniffs.

"Yoshi…" A woman appears, floating in front of them.

"Mom? You're here." Splinter smiles sadly.

"I have always been here."

More Hamato ancestors appear, grabbing the shaft of the spear. "We all have."

Raph locks eyes with you. He smiles wistfully, tears threatening to spill. The others see you too, all of them smile softly.

"Hot…" Yoshi's mom began.

"SOUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!" Everyone calls. The spear shatters the armour. Shredder is destroyed once and for all and Oroku Saki returns. Karai leaves April's body and hugs her father for the first time in 500 years.

"My daughter…" He breaths.

"Thank you my young Hamatos. We will always be with you." Karai tells the turtles.

Karai, her father and all of the ancestors bow to the Turtles and their family. With this, all the Hamato spirits fade away into the night. You stay. Raph rushes forward and hugs you.

"I'm sorry..." He sobs, pulling away to look at you. You hold his face in your hands. "I should've been there for you."

"I will always be with you, Raph..." You tell him, he leans into your touch. "I'll always love you."

[denimbex1986]

BRIE LARSON: Hi.

ANDREW SCOTT: Hi, Brie.

LARSON: Hi, Andrew, thanks for coming over.

SCOTT: Thank you, it's pretty tidy.

LARSON: I tidied up for you; I know how you like it.

SCOTT: You know the way I like it. You got my text: 'Make sure it's sparse.'

LARSON: Yes. So I'm excited to talk to you because I don't know how to talk about acting at all, so maybe you can teach me to talk about it or what we do - because I don't even know.

SCOTT: Yeah, it's hard to talk about.

LARSON: First of all, do you know how to act?

SCOTT: I don't know how to act.

LARSON: That's what I thought - nope, not at all. Don't know. So I'm glad that we got there first - we can get that out of the way.

SCOTT: You started as a kid, so it's playing when you're a kid.

LARSON: Yeah, exactly.

SCOTT: And then it turns into acting.

LARSON: That's exactly right. Well, I didn't know that there was anything beyond auditions for a very long time, so I was devastated when I learned that I wasn't actually booking anything.

SCOTT: Oh my God, that is so sweet.

Yeah, I thought that was it.

SCOTT: Did your parents just not tell you - ?

LARSON: That there was more? I think they just assumed I understood, but I didn't and that mentality actually really works because then I really started to enjoy the audition - at certain points.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: Sometimes it's very hard of course but -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: Just to think that the audition is -

ANDREW SCOTT: The thing is an opportunity to act.

LARSON: To learn, exactly - yeah.

SCOTT: When was the last time you auditioned for anything?

LARSON: Not that long ago. I insisted that I do it because I wasn't sure if I could do it. The team believed in me but I was like - it was so far away from anything that I had done I was like: 'I don't even know how to grasp this' so - ...What about you?

SCOTT: It's been a while since I auditioned, and I sort of - I sort of miss it because you know the way you used to come out of auditions, and you'd be sort of elated - you'd be flushed with excitement? And then if you didn't get it, if you did a good audition, you would be sort of thrilled and you, you'd be okay. It's when you don't get the audition; I think it's so hard for us actors - is when you don't get a chance to get in the room.

LARSON: Yeah.

SCOTT: And then if you've done your best, and you go: 'Okay, well they've gone with somebody that's famous or they've gone with somebody that looks completely different to you', then you don't mind.

LARSON: Yeah.

SCOTT: But I love the idea that you can sort of test it out for yourself a little bit, because we don't have much power.

LARSON: No. No actually very limited - I've learned...So, you didn't start as a kid -

SCOTT: Well I sort of did, a little bit.

LARSON: I thought so.

SCOTT: I just did a - I did a little, not like um -

LARSON: You did theatre?

SCOTT: A little bit of the theatre and commercials when I was a kid.

LARSON: Cute.

SCOTT: And I was reading that you were shy as a kid.

LARSON: Yeah. Not anymore. I’m totally fine now. I’m totally confident and cool.

SCOTT: That's - I, really related to you when I was reading that, because that’s kind of why I started as a kid.

LARSON: Interesting.

SCOTT: I think there’s a slight myth about actors — that they’re very outgoing or sort of precocious in some ways -

LARSON: Yeah.

SCOTT: - and, um, or confident in some ways. So did you ask to, to start acting?

LARSON: I did, yeah. My parents were chiropractors; they wasn't - that wasn't in the family or anything, and I was super shy; so my mom was like: 'She must be repeating something', I wouldn’t let it go. And when I think back on it, I mean, of course, it’s changed the course of my life in so many ways, but it - at a young age, at a time when I was so shy and had such a hard time expressing myself, looking people in the eye, at like 6 years old, I was basically given, like, 'OK, here’s a script for how you have a conversation.'

SCOTT: Oh my God, totally - totally.

LARSON: So it's like the actual, like, fiber of how I understand how to like, have pleasant conversations with people is based upon weekly acting sessions.

SCOTT: Absolutely; and then you all of a sudden, I - I used to go to these drama classes on a Saturday, and I would be fully shaking before I go in. And then you’d have to do like - get up in front of your other 7-, 8-year-olds, and do an improvisation, or say a poem or something.

LARSON: Oh no.

SCOTT: And something just happened where you go 'Oh' - it's like an - a weird sort of escape from yourself or, or something. And I feel like - I don’t feel like it’s an overstatement to say that I think it’s, it's completely changed my life — not just my,my career. I think if I didn't - I had a really bad lisp when I was a kid as well, so I had to do elocutions - elocution lessons. I had to go, “He sees seashells by the seashore,” and all that stuff, and it just completely got rid of it, and got rid of so much stuff that you go to, to play - it actually can really, really help you.

LARSON: Yeah, I really think so.

SCOTT: And do you feel shy now? (they laugh) No, no, no - but do you feel shy - do like it's helped you like -

LARSON: Yeah.

SCOTT: - because you have to do so many public facing -?

LARSON: I had to face myself in so many different ways; that’s part of the thing that I actually seek now....I mean, I’m so grateful that I had so much rejection growing up. It’s wild.

SCOTT: It toughens you up.

LARSON: And maybe you had a similar thing where like - I was very much like a slow burn in my career. It was not easy for me. I’d get close to things, so I knew that I had something, but I wasn’t booking, or I’d book like one job a year or something — just enough to give me hope....It gave me so much experience so that when I was given the opportunities, I was truly ready for it.

SCOTT: Absolutely, absolutely.

LARSON: I never had a time on set where I was like, 'Oh, gosh. This is bigger than what I understand.'

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

LARSON: It was always, like, well paced...now when I look back on it, I'm like: 'Oh someone was looking out for me.'

SCOTT: Absolutely. Because to be exposed too early, you know, to be able to sort of play around without too much scrutiny I think is so beneficial. I think that people who get an awful lot of scrutiny at an early, early age, I think, find it harder to experiment a little bit, because auditioning is experimenting because you're going up to play a policeman and a detective and then a psycho in a thing and you're like: 'Well, I don't know, you choose.' So you're playing with all those different sides of yourself, whereas if you're cast in something that's very famous when you're 20 - I don't know, you can - you have to work quite hard to sort of, to sort of, um, you know, get yourself out of that, that, that, that space - so it’s good that I was unemployed for so long.

LARSON: It turns out I’m so happy that it seemed like it wasn’t working out for me! Look at us now! But, yeah, when I was stalking you online, I was like, “Wow, it feels similar.”

SCOTT: Yeah, similar vibes. Yeah.

LARSON: Similar. I was like: 'Oh wow, you've been doing this for so long.'

SCOTT: Yeah - a long time.

LARSON: A long time.

SCOTT: And do you know - somebody said a really good thing - just on the - to wrap up that shyness thing up - but somebody said a really brilliant thing to me which was like, “There’s nothing wrong with being shy. Be shy...Like, it's fine to be shy. It’s a nice thing you go a little bit red.” That's why I'm wearing this - just so I could be -

LARSON: I blush very easily. It’s horrible.

SCOTT: I might do it now.

LARSON: Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Let's do it...

SCOTT: It's working.

LARSON: Yeah, yeah...

SCOTT: So “Lessons in Chemistry.”

LARSON: Let’s talk about our shows.

SCOTT: Your character; she's a little bit - I wouldn't say she’s; actually she's probably not shy - would you say?

LARSON: No.

SCOTT: She's just - she's singular, but it’s not, it's not shyness. She’s actually quite forthright. What a character.

LARSON: Yeah, yeah, it's great.

SCOTT: And you’ve been involved with it for …?

LARSON: A long time.

SCOTT: A long time.

LARSON: I developed it for like - I think it took two years. Maybe longer. But I think it was about two years when we started working on it to then actually filming it.

SCOTT: Are you so proud of this?

LARSON: Yeah, I think so. I’m proud of what we achieved in the time that we did. I don’t have a connection to when it goes out in the world; it just feels like then it’s not about me anymore — it’s just images and feelings. I am proud of how much we said in the show.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: I felt like we got a lot in it, and a really amazing group of people that worked on it.

SCOTT:  And you assembled the people, right?

LARSON: Yeah, I did...I was like: 'If I could be in it earlier -' - we have these amazing production meetings that happen; actors aren't invited to them -

SCOTT: No.

LARSON: So to me it always felt like playing a championship basketball game and like, your star player doesn't train with the rest of the team.

SCOTT: Absolutely.

LARSON: So, I was like...if you include me with more information, it's not gonna stress me out; it actually just helps me understand how I can better do the organizational part of my job.

SCOTT: Absolutely.

LARSON: Like the artistry is like - part of what it needs is like: 'Just tell me if we're running out of light and we only have two takes - '

SCOTT: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

LARSON: You know, I'm so okay with that.

SCOTT: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

LARSON: ...lots of other departments get moments where they have to - you know, they get to shine in like a spot where it's like: 'Okay, you gotta take one for the team', and I feel like the acting department could really use more opportunities to do that.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: ...it really worked; the dynamic really worked because it felt like everyone was working together and assisting one another to make the same thing.

SCOTT: I, I, I sometimes find that difficult, and it's a big thing as an actor - maybe not so much in the theatre - but, but where you're so involved with so much of your character's journey and then the edit comes and you're like: 'Wha -?' And sometimes I feel like it's important, you know, if you're an artist - and I've never had any shame about calling myself an artist because that's what we do - you may be an interpretive artist, but sometimes it can feel like you're not a co-artist, you're just the paint. You know, you just feel like: 'Okay, well, you can just take whatever' and you go: 'Well - ', you know, because I don't care about having - sometimes actually it's about having less time, you know? It's like, it's about - or less screen time; it's not about vanity, it's just going: 'Oh, well, you know, you know, how you think the, the set is of the character you - sometimes I've had that experience where you walk on and you see your character's - the set of the, the house - and you think: 'This isn't - '

LARSON: I know; isn't that amazing?

SCOTT: Yeah. And that's, that's - it's just about communication.

LARSON: I know. Also I find that you learn about the character through these department heads as well.

SCOTT: Yeah. These really skilful people.

LARSON: ...it becomes like we're finally admitting to what we're doing -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: - which is a massive team sport.

SCOTT: Yeah, absolutely.

LARSON: It's a lot of people making one piece of art.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: And I think problems arise when we act like that's not what's happening.

SCOTT: Absolutely.

LARSON: So I want to talk about your show.

SCOTT: Ripley - yep.

LARSON: That one - I know you've got a lot going on, but we're talking about that.

SCOTT: No, no - that's it.

LARSON: So what kinds of conversations did you have ahead of time, and I'm thinking specifically, when I was watching it, I was like: 'I love minimalism' and I'm like: 'You are a minimalist', and I mean that as like the highest compliment.

SCOTT: Oh wow.

LARSON: It's like you're just - and for so long not talking.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: And I was like: 'Oh, it took me my surprise.' I was like: 'Oh yeah, he still hasn't really said anything.'

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: And you're also playing someone who's lying a lot -

SCOTT: Yes, yeah.

LARSON: - which I think is one of the hardest things to do.

SCOTT: Yeah, it's hard - yeah. Yeah.

LARSON: And so in thinking about how you do something SO minimal with lies -

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah; I know what you mean.

LARSON: - you're doing a very fine dance there. What kind of conversations are you having, and does it feel good to be in that minimal space, or do you second guess yourself?

SCOTT: I second guess myself, I think.

LARSON: ....I'm not a good interviewer.

SCOTT: No, you're a beautiful interviewer. Do you know what? I know exactly what you mean - your concern sometimes, or my concern, and maybe it's from, from a theatre thing, is that I always have had this slight terror perhaps that I was doing like too much - a sort of shame I remember that I would feel in my early film stuff - I'm like: 'Oh God, pull back a little bit.' But then in the theatre, there's something I think is completely wonderful about people being, um, wonderfully expressive with their body, but also some of the, the film actors that I love are actually incredibly expressive as well - it's not all just, you know, completely poised. And if I'm honest, I think I gave Steve Zaillian, our writer/director quite a lot of, um, options; I feel like that's my duty, and he chose the ones that, that are probably a little bit more to his taste, which are, you know - he's very, very sparing, um, he likes minimalism himself, and I'm happy to provide that for him.

I find it so difficult to watch myself, I don't know - that's one of the, one of the things that I was going to ask you when, when, in Lessons in Chemistry, like, do you - are you looking at the edit and all that kind of stuff?

LARSON: Oh yeah, all the time...

SCOTT: Do you find that you were able to…

LARSON: … detach?

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: You have to. The first time I edited myself was years ago and the editor so smartly always referred to 'her' as 'her.'

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: 'She's this' or 'I wish she was - ' and it really helped because it's not about us criticising; like, no one has to feel like there's something wrong with saying that something wasn't right in front of me.

SCOTT: Absolutely. Exactly, absolutely.

LARSON: I’m just like, “Of course I didn’t do it all right.”

SCOTT: Who'd want to be right? Exactly. I think there’s maybe a fear that people are going to say, “We need another close-up of me, please. Why is no one focusing - push in, push in!” And it's actually a lot of the time, because it's a collaborative actors are used to, we're not - you know, a lot of writers or even directors don't get to see other directors' work in a rehearsal room, or what their process is, whereas actors are always looking at other actors and how they're doing on set, or how they - you know; it's - you're very like, open to being told: 'That wasn't so great.'

LARSON: I like that.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: ...I felt very committed to finding what things weren’t working...a lot of the time I'd be looking things every night -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: - I'd look at the dailies from the day before -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: - and so you can kind of see like...are there ways to save this a little bit?

SCOTT: Yes. Map it out.

LARSON: Especially with a character that I also felt was very different from me, and how little she emotionally expresses.

SCOTT: I love that about it.

LARSON: I struggled with it a lot, and I felt very lost with it. I am just very used to my understanding of when something’s working — when it feels very true and I’m just in it. And I would be in it with her, but I felt like the part of me that would want to cry, for example, was being pushed. She’s always twisting the knot inside, and won’t give it to anybody.

SCOTT: Yeah, I love that about the performance.

LARSON: ...the third episode is about grief and...I realised that like the little part inside of me is like: 'Are people going to think I'm not doing enough?'

SCOTT: Yeah, that's the fear isn't it?

LARSON: Yeah, it's like: 'Why? What is she doing? She's not doing anything.'

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

LARSON: ...it takes a lot of confidence to not telegraph every little thing.

SCOTT: Have you had a lot of experience where you've been on a project and you think the stuff that you provided has not been seen and they've used takes or they've manipulated your performance into, into something where you feel like: 'That's not exactly what my taste would be but I -' Yeah.

LARSON: Yeah.

SCOTT: It's difficult that, isn't it?

LARSON: ...you just go and you give them raw materials -

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: - and then a year later, you sit with your friends and family -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: - and it's on a giant screen, and you see how your stuff was edited together that doesn't seem right.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: And I think there's a part of it though that I like -

SCOTT: You give it up.

LARSON: Yeah, I like that...sometimes I want to drive the car, sometimes I just want to be the passenger -

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: - and there was something about this show -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: - this story, that I was like: 'No, I want to be in every part of it.'

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

LARSON: ...it would have felt really strange not to.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: But I'm happy to live in like another director's world for a while.

SCOTT: Absolutely.

LARSON: I've worked with people that are like - never blink...

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LARSON: ...and you learn all these different ways of expressing -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: - which is cool.

SCOTT: And it's one of the reasons I think that I like; I quite like to move from different - because I'm not sure if I would be able to cope with that if that was for like 10 years, where you're like: 'This is this person's vision and you have to slot into it without having some sort of - without wanting to sort of break free a little bit.'

LARSON: Yeah, I agree.

SCOTT: So I, as you say, sometimes it's okay to be in that world, and then you watch and you go: 'Okay, well that's - I'm there to serve that person's vision; there are things that I would do differently', but I think that's the struggle. And I think - what I never want to do is to be able to be on set and think: 'This is the way I see it, so I'm not going to provide them with any options.' You know what I'm saying?

LARSON: Uh-huh.

SCOTT: So you just do it. I feel like your job is to be like -

LARSON: Yeah, give a bunch.

SCOTT: Give a bunch. You know, I think it's pretty courageous - I'm, you know, a huge advocate for actors and the kind of courage and vulnerability it takes to be an actor; I really do. I really - I, I think, you know, to put yourself out there and then to have to watch your big face on, on like, on a big screen with other people -

LARSON: I know, TV's better.

SCOTT: TV''s better - exactly.

LARSON: It's like iPad size; I can deal with that.

SCOTT: Yeah exactly. Watch it on an iPhone.

SCOTT: Do you watch a lot, a lot of your stuff?

LARSON: No, not at all.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: No, no; I mean with Lessons -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: I have watched it a lot -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: - because I was editing the show but -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: But normally, no.

SCOTT: It's so extraordinary. It must feel - do you have a different feeling of pride now that you've been, been so involved with it, so its success - does it have a sort of -

LARSON: It feels good, but you know, it came out during the strike -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: And so it felt very -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: It just came out and it lived its life, and I really appreciated having that experience to truly just let the piece speak for itself.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: That I couldn't come in and explain myself.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: And I realised how much of our artistry is then us trying to explain -

SCOTT: Or sell -

LARSON: - a lot of questions about like: 'What do you hope people get from it?' And I'm like: 'I'm more curious to know what you do get from it than what I thought I was saying.

SCOTT: Well said. That's exactly it - it's like, sometimes it is, you know, we are contractually obliged to talk about this stuff, but sometimes you think: 'Did you like it or did - did you not like it?'

LARSON: Yeah. Like I want people to have their own experience.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON:...I struggle with talking about acting because I didn't go to school for it.

SCOTT: No, I didn't either.

LARSON: You didn't?

SCOTT: No.

LARSON: I knew l liked you - we have so much in common.

SCOTT: Oh, not a minute's training.

LARSON: ...So I have a hard time understanding fully...there's the preparation part, which I care a lot about and enjoy -

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: - and there's there's just something that happens on set that seems to be truly divine that I can't even take credit for.

SCOTT: Yeah, that's exactly right.

LARSON: I don't even know how to explain it.

SCOTT: It's not, it's not; but it's - again, you know, it's something I say endlessly, but you play a part - you play a part, people - so your work of course, your work of course is important, but if you were to say a kid is able to just do it, and you don't go: 'So what did you - why did you just make that teacher, why did you, why did she arrive on a, on a unicorn? Where did that come from? What do you think about unicorns?' The kid's just like: 'I don't know.'

LARSON: It's just free.

SCOTT: It's just - it's sort of, it's sort of freeing, and to be able to hold onto that as much as possible; and that's not to say that the work isn't - you know, the preparation and all that kind of stuff - but the first priority is to be there, on the set, and to be like: 'Well maybe we don't know what's going to happen now.' So we have to unlearn what - the, the idea that, that we do.

LARSON: Just being present, yeah.

SCOTT: Just be present, listening.

LARSON: So what about the lying part of your character? How did you -

SCOTT: My own? Oh, Tom Ripley.

LARSON: Yeah, sorry, sorry. I jumped. So when you’re playing Tom Ripley -

SCOTT: Yes?

LARSON: - what does it feel like to lie when he’s lying?

SCOTT: Well, I tried to make him lie as little as he could get away with, so that he lies in order to get himself out of a situation. And he murders to get himself out of a situation. Like, so he's not going: 'When am I gonna -?' He’s not bloodthirsty. He's, he's doing it because he had nothing else to do - sort of - I mean, he could have not murdered, I suppose.

LARSON: Yeah, yeah.

SCOTT: We all make that decision.

LARSON: Yeah, no, it’s a choice you make every day.

SCOTT: Yeah...so I tried to sort of - it's that thing of just going: 'Okay well, it's seeing somebody think', although, you know, it - a lot of the time I think the best acting opportunities is when someone like; the thing that we really, really want to see when we're, um, watching a movie I think, or at least I do, it's when someone goes: 'I'm not in love with them at all' and you know that they are.

LARSON: Uh-huh.

SCOTT: That's the best. When you're - when, when the thing that you are expressing is, is in opposition to the thing that you're feeling; and that sort of is lying, but it's lying sort of in a way that we find acceptable. So all that stuff and you go: 'How is she?' and you know you're - that brilliant acting that when people when we disguise what we're feeling, which we do so much. Um, so I suppose any of those things about him being a liar or socio - sociopath, or any of those kind of things I found kind of unhelpful. And actually the kind of stuff that Tom Ripley I suppose is famous for as an iconic sort of literary character is him being — “Is he a psychopath?” or “Is he a murderer?” or whatever. But the murder-y parts actually only took up - we shot it for nearly a year - they only took up for a few weeks, so the rest of them was actually -

LARSON: He’s mostly not murdering.

SCOTT: He's mostly not murdering.

LARSON: I noticed that too...I guess it's like the times where I've had to do a scene where it's lying or trying to get away with something; it's an interesting and very fun dance where you know in order for the scene to work, you can't let on to your scene partner that you're lying, however you're kind of giving the *clicks tongue* to the audience like: 'Go with me here.' And that's so fun...it felt like I was doing target practice...it's very fun.

SCOTT: Yeah, and it's like when someone's playing an evil character in a bad piece of television, and then they've manipulated someone and they hug them and then over their shoulder -

LARSON: Yeah, oh gosh - fabulous.

SCOTT: It's like - when has anyone ever done that in real life? But I do think it's extraordinary how human beings are, are - we're able to disguise absolutely what's, what's going on. Recently, my mother died very recently, so I'm doing a lot of press at the moment and, um, I've had to do a lot of, you know, in, in the grieving process, and I re - the thing that's really al - alarmed me, or it's certainly something that I found really um, uh, astonishing, is that I know that when I'm talking to someone on the street or like you're getting into your Uber or whatever, you're like: 'Hey, how's it going?' But there's no part of me - even though I'm going through this devastating time in my life - there's no part of me that's conveying that to, to, to, um - to, to the taxi person at that time.

And it's like when you're doing period dramas, when people talk about war, wartime stuff, that you're not spending your whole time talking about the war. It's like during the pandemic, you - when we were all dealing with the pandemic and somebody would come round like: 'Can we please not talk about that? Do you mind if we don't?' So sometimes when you're going through the very thing that's the stress - where is it living? There are some people who actually don't want to talk about it, and I think sometimes the unconvincing things when we're seeing things like that are set in World War II, that they're always talking about World War II. And the rest of us are like: 'Oh My God, can we just lighten up or, you know, whatever'. And, and, and I suppose that idea of what we're able to disguise I've always found so interesting about acting, you know, and um, and so that we get a story that's perhaps very comedic and you play the soul, or you get something that's very tragic and you play the, the lightness - I think that's what the, the great actors are sort of able, sort of able to do. It's a fascinating thing to discover; it's never like - it's never one thing. And so did you find it hard, when you finished Lessons in Chemistry, to let it go?

LARSON: ...it's a true loss of purpose.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: My purpose was this thing; it's not there anymore - what do I do now?...

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: ...I was pretty tired by the end of it.

SCOTT: I bet you were.

LARSON: ...it felt very complete.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: But I missed it. Like, I missed that feeling of having a purpose that was beyond myself.

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: ...that feeling - it's so rare too.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: ...it felt really satisfying.

SCOTT: Yeah. The obstacle sort of becomes, becomes the way. There's a - a director that I, that I worked with that I - he said a thing that I really, just really loved which is: 'Of course in artistic situations, you're going to argue and you're going to have differences of opinion, but that you should argue as allies not as enemies.' And I thought it's such a beautiful thing to say because I think sometimes a difficult set, and I don't believe that I, I don't believe that there isn't anything that through communication you can really just, everybody mostly wants to make it - do it right.

And there's a, there's a choice that you can make to say okay; to set up an environment where you're able to just communicate things a little easier and, and people who are just, um, in the business of making sure that they get their own way I think - it's; it's - I think that can happen to really very talented people, and in a way sometimes understandably, because I think actors have to save the day an awful lot of the time and, you know, I don't like it when people say: 'Oh you know - ' Sometimes it can be: 'Oh that actor is difficult.' I've never really - maybe that's just my experience - but I've never really seen an actor go: 'I don't like my costume. I've got, got, got, you know; I'm not coming out of my trailer.' Usually I've seen actors saying: 'My character just wouldn't say that; the audience isn't going to buy that, and I don't want to let the story down or the audience down - that just doesn't make sense and so, you know, let's not do that. Let's not proceed until we've solved this problem.'

And I think that's an honorable thing to do because then what happens is it comes out and everybody goes: 'Oh God, that's really clever' and you think: 'Well, that was going to be passed over because people were only interested in completing the call sheet that day.' Sometimes you've gotta just go: 'We've covered it, but we haven't captured it' and I think that's -

LARSON: Oh, I like that.

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: Okay, so I have a question about playing a character that has existed in many different iterations and forms.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: And I feel like you have experience with that, because you do theater as well.

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: Do you have the same approach every time, in terms of researching and watching previous versions of it?

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

LARSON: Or do you just block it out?

SCOTT: Absolutely, I block it. Because, No. 1, I adored the film “The Talented Mr. Ripley” — the Minghella movie with, with Matt Damon and Jude Law and Gwyneth Paltrow and all those amazing people. But mercifully, I hadn’t seen it in a very long time, and I knew that this was going to be a very, very different prospect. Um, one of the first conversations I had with Steven Zaillian, our writer-director, you know was “What? Why?” And he had such a singular vision for it, you know; he wanted it a very particular way. He wanted, you know - I was worried that I was too old and blah, blah, blah — because I had just a very specific idea that was based on the film, but I suppose I had to remind myself that that's - that film was also a re - a reiteration of something: there was another version with Alain Delon before, and there were diff - you know lots of different Ripleys and there were loads of different ones. So it has been reinterpreted a lot. And I feel like it’s very important that, you know, he said, you know, “We want to age the characters up.” And then, you know, he was talking about this very particular kind of noirish black-and-white version that he had. And that made me feel very comfortable. He had no interest in, in doing that again. And I always think that it’s important, you know, because it happens in the theater so much — if it was a Shakespeare character, you know - you know, thousands of people have played, played one character. And I always find that really interesting. And I think the response I suppose is to be respectful, but not too reverent. Because what’s the point of doing it if you’re going to do it exactly the same way? So I didn’t look - no way, because you know, I don't want to do it for myself; I don't want to do it for myself - I don't want to do that because I love that film, and I see them as two very, very separate entities, which they are. I mean, anyone who would see it, you'd go: 'They - they're miles apart.' Thank God, yeah.

LARSON: What do you think about some sort of Ripley universe — you know, into the Ripley-verse? Just all the Ripleys.

SCOTT: Like little - like Marvel? Oh, sort of like the Fantastic Four? Is that a thing? Oh, and they all get together?

LARSON: Yeah, Ripleys together. I’m just curious because I got a couple studios interested, so I just …

SCOTT: You do? So kind of you! You are good. You make things happen. Are you not tired? You’ve been setting up projects for me? God, you’re kind.

LARSON: No, I’m writing a part for myself as well.

SCOTT: Oh right, you're gonna be in it too? You could play - you'd be a good Tom Ripley!

LARSON: I'll be a Ripley as well.

SCOTT: I have to ask you about working with Lenny Abrahamson, because it was such a moment of Irish pride. A sensational movie. Do you get bored talking about Room?

LARSON: I actually don't talk about it that often...I had someone come up to me and say: "You know what film you were good in? 'Room'." I was like: "Okay." (laughter)

SCOTT: "Yeah, thank you. Where is my Oscar?"

LARSON: I was like: 'Yeah, I kind of thought that was like my one thing I've done...'

SCOTT: I thought you were good in that; I don't care what anyone else says. I thought you were quite good.

LARSON: 5000 years later, I was like: 'Glad it holds up.'

SCOTT: That's amazing.

LARSON: But what part did you want me to talk about? Lenny?

SCOTT: Did you know what it was going to be so -

LARSON: Did I know he was Irish? (laughter) No. Did I know it was going to be good?

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: No...

SCOTT: In Lessons in Chemistry, did you have a feel - because you had more control over it? Did you think: 'We're onto something here?'

LARSON: Yeah, because also you're doing everything at the same time...with 'Room', it was my first time - I mean I'd been a lead in one other thing.

SCOTT: Wow, really?

LARSON: I auditioned for it though...it took a lot of time and I did not have the technique that I have now.

SCOTT: Meaning like?

LARSON: I was like what I think actors are like where they like have headphones in and they're kind of like this (leans forward and over). I was that kind of actor.

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: I was listening to really intense music; and it's like I didn't fully truly myself to go in and out.

SCOTT: That's so interesting.

LARSON: ...after that movie I was like: 'Woah, I need to figure out a plan' and I started scuba diving, and I realised that it was the perfect metaphor, because you don't get to like strap a tank on your back and just jump in the ocean. You have to be like: 'Okay, this is how much I have in my tank; if I go down deeper it takes more, I have to go really slowly on the way up.' And was like 'Oh. That's what I need to be doing.'

SCOTT: Wow, yeah.

LARSON: And I need to give myself the grace of that. So then moving forward, when I'd have big emotional scenes, I'd make an announcement and be like: 'Hey, I'm gonna go underwater for a little it. It might take me a while to get back out, but I'm here and I'll be okay.'

SCOTT: That's really wonderful. So as a producer, you felt like it's your job, when you have a big scene on, on Lessons in Chemistry, where you think: 'Okay, but now today, all I can do really is act'?

LARSON: Yeah. Sometimes you have to put the phone down -

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: - and other times, you want it though.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: Other times it was very helpful to be like - to snap out of it and to be like: 'Okay, now I need to deal with whatever is going on.'

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LARSON: ...that was the learning lesson from 'Room'...I didn't want to mess it up.

SCOTT: Well, you didn't. I agree with that guy. I actually thought you were quite good in it.

LARSON: ...I even remember seeing the movie for the first time...it's just a white wall to me -

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

LARSON: - so I just remember the first screening and everyone was like: 'What the hell was that?' And I was like: 'Is it good?'...it's maybe my own performance, maybe on a good day I can receive 40% of it through the screen - like, on a good day.

SCOTT: On a good day. Like, it's hard.

LARSON: ...it'd be really weird if I was like watching myself being like (motions looking teary and proud)

SCOTT: 'Oh, you go, girl'.

LARSON: Yeah, it's not for me...

SCOTT: Well that's why I'm asking about when you have a producer role, and I've definitely had it in, in the theatre, but in the theatre - what I love about working in the theatre is that you; it's the only art form - stage work - where you don't get to see the result of what you're doing. You're a painter, see the painting, you make a movie, see the movie, the book, you read the book, if you write, write a book, but this - you only see it through the feeling in the room and the audience sort of reflects it back to you. And I love that about it because sometimes when I see my own work, or like when they film theatre, I find it horrific because I think: 'Oh God, I, I - like just stop, or whatever you're doing, desist.' And uh, so that's why I'm asking about the producorial thing where, where I do think there must be some other hat that you have on that actually goes: no, I think - that actually your, your development of your, your ability to be able to discern what your performance is must have to - must, must be quite strong.

LARSON: Oh yeah...Lenny would talk to me and brief me on what he was trying to achieve...and then once the doors closed, it was really hard to get in and out, and so it was much easier if I understood what Lenny's agenda was, and I could just be there instead of constantly resetting. And so, there was one day in particular where I realised I could hold this scene with the boy, with Jacob, and also fix the props that were needed to be reset, and wait and hold...I remember being like: 'I think I've just unlocked like a new level of focus and flow -

SCOTT: Yeah, yeah.

LARSON: - and it's a really amazing thing.'

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: You felt that too?

SCOTT: I know exactly what you mean.

LARSON: Isn't it the best thing ever?

SCOTT: It's great. It's like - it's, it's, it's a challenge and everybody's like doing that together; like isn't the best thing I think about filming is when everybody's got a big, big job - I don't know, some big shot, everybody, somebody's going to have a change of clothes; it's all sort of quite theatrical - theatrical - and you're really involved all together. I find that really the most exciting thing. That's why I think it's beautiful what you say about everybody just doing the same thing; we had it on - again, to go back to the theatre - but we had it where we were all called co-creators, but that's exactly what you're doing. You're all co-creating together, and so if you were to just take out the job titles and go: 'Well, everybody has an opinion here; what's the thing', and everybody, you know, everybody's just little, little cogs in this amazing machine.

LARSON: Exactly.

SCOTT: Yeah.

LARSON: We need it all.

SCOTT: We do; we need everything.

LARSON: Well thanks; I feel like I kind of understand acting now.

SCOTT: Yeah I've fully - I've fully got it.

LARSON: Yeah, I'm ready. Okay, well -

SCOTT: Nothing more to learn.

LARSON: There we go. Now we're good to go. (laughter)