#i've been on it for 2 months now and we've figured out the right dose for me and it's amazing

[shinysteph]

WHERE has vyvanse been all my life I actually feel like a human being

[avatar-anna]

Unknown Number Part 2

the long anticipated part two to unknown number. enjoy!

Part Three is now up!

italics: y/n (unknown number)

bold: harry

(one day later)

HS: Hey, I haven't heard from you. Is everything okay?

HS: I know you're busy and everything, but maybe you feel differently after us talking?

HS: It doesn't have to be different. We can go back to just texting I don't mind.

(one day later)

HS: You're not avoiding me are you?

HS: June?

(one day later)

HS: I don't know what I did, but whatever it is I'm sorry.

HS: But I'm starting to get worried. Are you okay? Like safety wise? Cold shoulder I can take but I would feel awful if you were hurt or in danger or something?

HS: Can you at least let me know you're alright?

J is typing...

(twenty minutes later)

J: i'm fine

HS: Good!

HS: Did I do something?

J: no i just think i was served a cold dose of reality a couple days ago

J: sorry for disappearing on you

HS: It's okay.

HS: Would you be more comfortable if we just went back to texting?

J is typing...

J: maybe

HS: Maybe?

J: i...like the sound of your voice

HS: You do, do you? ;))

J: don't be smug!

HS: I'm not, I swear!

HS is typing...

HS: I like the sound of your voice too.

(later that evening)

Y/n stared down at her phone and wondered if she was the biggest asshole on the planet.

She was never supposed to know who H was. Sure, she'd thought about it, had stayed up for hours thinking about who might be on the other side of their conversations. But it was all guessing and daydreaming. Y/n never actually thought she'd figure it out. Or that H would stand for Harry. As in Harry mother fucking Styles.

The person Y/n had been texting wasn't some serial killer or internet troll or some random person. He was one of the most popular names in pop culture right now. And not only that, they were in the same vicinity for the next few months while Five Seconds of Summer opened for One Direction.

When she heard H's voice, when she realized H was Harry, Y/n ran. She high-tailed it back to the tour bus, shooting a quick text to One Direction's stylist to tell her she wasn't feeling well and if she could take care of her band. Y/n pretended to be sick for a couple days while she hid on the tour bus. No one questioned it, but she did feel a little guilty for not doing the job she was paid to do.

But what was she supposed to do? The potential for running into Harry was extremely high. Y/n had no idea what she would do if they spoke and he came to the same realization as she had. She wasn't sure if she'd be able to handle the disappointment on Harry's face when he saw her and knew.

Pursing her lips, she typed out a new message.

(ten minutes from the last text)

J: do you ever think about us meeting?

(five minutes later)

HS: All the time.

J: you do?

HS: Of course. I mean it's hard not to.

J: do you...think you'd ever be disappointed by meeting me?

HS: Uh no?

HS: Is there a reason for this line of questioning?

J: no not really. just curious

HS: Somehow I feel like that's not true.

J: i don't know

J: i'm not sure why i'm in my head about this it's not like we'll actually meet

HS: You really think that?

J: do you think we ever would?

HS: I don't know.

HS: But I think I'd like to. One day.

J: you don't even know me!

HS: I do though!

HS: And you know me too!

HS: Where is all of this coming from?

J: i just think we should be realistic

J: i texted you by accident and we've become like modern day pen pals or something

HS: So you...don't want to meet me? Ever?

J: it's not about want it's about practicality. i just don't think talking about us in that way is smart

HS: You brought it up!

HS: And what do you mean by us?

(fifteen minutes later)

HS: Oh, so you're gonna ignore me now? Real mature.

HS: You're the one who brought all of this up you know.

HS: But you're probably right. I know I've been bothering you, but I think you had the right idea. I think we need a little space.

(one day later)

Harry was unreasonably irritated. Angry didn't seem like the right word, but nothing about his situation was normal.

June was technically right. This whole thing was ridiculous and nonsensical and completely impractical. There was no scenario where they would ever meet or...

Harry couldn't even think about it. Thinking about June like that...thinking about June at all outside of their messages was stupid. He didn't need to be thinking about her, about anyone that way.

So why was he so frustrated?

Maybe it was that June wrote him off so quickly and seemingly out of nowhere. It wasn't like they ever needed to talk about the obvious, which was that they'd probably never meet despite the fact that he'd grown fond of her. Harry was perfectly content to talk about whatever popped into his head or June's latest Tinder date—though that topic was slowly starting to grate on Harry for reasons he refused to admit. Now it was a jumbled mess.

With his head bent, Harry walked toward craft services. He pulled out his phone, looking at past conversations and willing himself not to send another one. June hadn't responded to him since his last message, and he wasn't sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, it was what he'd asked for, but he still was itching to talk to her. Harry had grown used to expecting a quick response, had enjoyed June's wit and charming personality with each message she sent.

And now it was all weird and Harry's emotions were all over the place.

"Oof! Hey, watch where you're going!"

Harry glared down at the young woman who'd bumped into him—or who he'd bumped into, but he was too caught up in his own world to realize it. The young woman's eyes widened in shock as she stepped away from him. She opened her mouth as if she was about to speak, but nothing came out. Maybe a little squeaking.

He'd seen her around before, but not much. Honestly, these days Harry was usually holed up somewhere on the bus or at the venue texting June. But he'd seen the back of her head as she scurried around, or at a table on her own during lunch as she scrolled on her phone. He was pretty sure she was Five Seconds of Summer's stylist, but he didn't know for sure.

Raising his eyes at her expectantly. Harry waited for her to say something. "Sorry," she said, barely said. She was so quiet, Harry could hardly hear it. She looked scared of him, which made him feel bad. He was in a mood, but he didn't want to make anyone feel terrified of him, and this girl looked like she was about to cry.

He tried to apologize, but she scurried off before he could. Harry watched her go and sighed. He couldn't wait to get onstage and forget about June and the texts and all the ways she made him feel things he wasn't supposed to feel.

(later that night)

HS: Are we okay?

J: i don't know

J: i think so

HS: I feel like I'm going crazy.

J: how so?

HS: All I've been able to think about is our last conversation. I don't want to not talk to you.

HS: Can I admit something?

J: of course

HS is typing...

HS: I want to hear your voice again.

(five minutes later)

HS: You know, for the first time I think I actually kind of sounded like a creep.

HS: I didn't mean it in a creepy way I promise.

J: i know what you meant

J: in every other circumstance it would raise a red flag

HS: But this time?

J: i think i just want to hear your voice again too

HS: Yeah?

J: i'm not going to say it again to boost your ego

HS: :((

J: you know, you say all the time that you don't date, but i have a feeling you like having your ego fluffed

HS: Who doesn't?

J: attention whore. that's what you are!

HS: That was mean >:(

J: i would like to make it known that i'm sticking my tongue out right now

HS: I'm flipping you off!

(five minutes later)

J: so we're okay?

HS: Yeah. We're okay.

(one day later)

J: are boys always filled with energy?

HS: I would say 90 percent of the time. Why?

J: my clients are just...a lot sometimes

J: very nice but a lot

J: like the brothers i never asked for

HS: Aw. Are they getting on your case about your bad taste in men now too?

J: you're not as funny as you think you are

J: and maybe

J: they tease me about the constant beeping of my phone. they want to know who i'm texting all the time

HS: And what do you say?

J: that i'm texting my boyfriend

J: i feel like it keeps them at bay

HS: Boyfriend huh?

J: oh hush

HS: Don't tell anyone, but I like the sound of that.

J: don't tell anyone but i do too

(two minutes later)

J: i feel like we're wandering into dangerous territory here

HS: Maybe.

HS: I'm not as bothered about it as I thought though.

J: no?

HS: Are you?

HS: Sorry. You don't have to answer that.

J: that's ok. i just don't know how i feel

J: not a cop out just the truth

HS: I believe you. Will you tell me when you do know?

J: of course

(later that night)

J: how does one acquire a new mother?

HS: Typically through divorce.

J: that won't work. my parents are miserable people together. kindred spirits

HS: what did she do this time?

J: it's stupid

HS: Not if it made you upset.

(ten minutes later)

HS: June?

J: sorry i was crying

HS is typing...

(one minute later)

Y/n's eyes widened at the incoming phone call on her screen. She knew she shouldn't have told him she was upset, but she needed someone to talk to, and somehow H had become the person she confided in.

Even then she didn't expect Harry to call her.

Hesitantly, Y/n picked up the phone. "H—Hello?"

"Why were you crying, June?"

"I'm fine, H, I promise—"

"No, you're not. I can still hear it in your voice. What's wrong?"

"I..." Was their first conversation really going to be her crying to H about her family drama? Y/n knew perfectly well that he probably had a million other things he could be doing. She was aware that both bands typically went out after shows. The boys of Five Seconds of Summer had tried to persuade her to go out numerous times, but she had yet to take the bait. Y/n was perfectly happy to lay in her bunk and text H, who she now realized might have been in a bunk of his own a couple buses over. The thought made her stomach feel fluttery and nauseous at the same time.

"My mom posted on Facebook about one of my cousins who just got married," Y/n explained. "And she said, or commented, or whatever that she was, 'so happy' and 'so proud' of the 'daughter she always wanted.'"

"Oh, June, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, I swear it's fine," Y/n insisted, but even as she said it, she felt more tears begin to leak from her eyes. "I knew she was disappointed. Marriage is a huge deal in my family, and I didn't want—She called her the daughter she always wanted. What kind of mother says that?"

Y/n knew she was something of an outcast in her family, but she never thought her mom would say something like that, and so publicly. Facebook was her family's way of staying connected. This was a message for her entire extended family, not just Y/n.

"June, I—I don't even know what to say. That's horrible," H said.

"And you know what's the worst part?" Y/n asked. "Deep down I can't help but wonder if I should just settle down and get married like she wants me to because really, what am I doing here? I've been trying to make my way in this industry, but at what cost? My family has all but disowned me, I hardly have any friends because I live in a new town that just eats up my meager paychecks, and—"

"Hey," H said gently. "Do you really think you'd be happier back home with...with a husband at, what? 22?"

Y/n sniffled and rubbed her eye. "Probably, not, but—"

"And do you want this?" he asked.

"I thought I did."

"June. Do. You. Want. This?" he repeated.

He was the only person Y/n would admit it to. "I...I really do, H."

"Then go for it," he said. "I believe in you. In a year or two, everyone is going to want to work with you. You'll be the one turning people down."

"If only."

"Hey, that's not the voice of a confident woman. I need to hear confidence."

"H—"

"No, I need confidence. I can't be the only one believing in you here," H said, which made you smile despite the tear stains on your cheeks. "Do you need me to shout it? Because I will. Don't think I won't."

Y/n tried to stop him, but H proceeded to shout—to whom, she wasn't sure—that she was the best stylist and that she was the coolest person he knew and all sorts of nonsense that made her giggle and continually tell him to shut up.

"Okay. That's enough! Harry, that's—"

She stopped immediately. It was a slip of the tongue. Y/n had gotten caught up in the moment and his name just...it just came out. Her heart stopped and her hands began to shake, nearly making her drop her phone in her lap.

Y/n prayed that he missed it, that amidst all the laughing and shouting, H didn't hear it. But the minute his name left her lips, it was dead quiet.

"How do you know my name?" he asked. His voice wasn't lighthearted anymore. It was stone cold, closed off.

"I...I don't—"

"You do. You just said Harry. How do you know me? Have you known the whole time?"

"No! I didn't—I don't—"

"I can't believe this. I can't believe that I...that I let myself fall for this. You—You lied!"

"I didn't lie! I swear, I never—I never knew anything until..."

"Until what?" he shouted, and you flinched.

What was she supposed to say? That they were on tour together? Harry would definitely think she stalked him then. He was so angry, there was no way he would listen to reason right now.

"Until what, June?"

"I'm so sorry," she said, her voice just above a whisper.

"Don't try to contact me again, or I'll call the police," he said harshly before hanging up.

Y/n could only stare down at her phone in disbelief.

(two days later)

Y/n decided to spend her days perusing thrift stores. Hiding, really.

Her first-ever clients as a stylist were pretty low-maintenance. When she met them for the first time and saw their scuffed-up sneakers and ripped jeans, Y/n knew she wouldn't be stretching her creativity pretty far. But her job was to find clothes that represented her clients' image, which was exactly what she did.

While everyone else on tour was doing who knew what, Y/n went to local thrift stores in search of vintage t-shirts and good quality jeans that would be easy to move around him. One time, she came back with a pair of gorgeous leather boots that she thought would be perfect for Luke, but he said outright that he wouldn't wear them. Boys, honestly.

It wasn't much, but they appreciated when she came back with cool band and graphic shirts. She sewed up holes and ripped new ones when she was asked. Y/n felt like Snow White sometimes, and the boys were her dwarfs, but they were nice and funny and kept her distracted, which she needed right now.

She was in a small thrift store in Oregon, a couple pieces on her arm—two flannels, a baseball tee, a t-shirt with Kurt Cobain on it, and a couple leather bracelets. Now that she'd been on tour with the wonderful members of Five Seconds of Summer, Y/n had an idea of what each member liked. They had very similar styles and often shared the clothes she picked out for them—which honestly made her life easier considering her smaller-than-small budget.

But she still thought about H, of course she did. There were times when she felt compelled to go up to him at the concert venue, or even his tour bus, but she feared that would just make things worse. He already thought she was a stalker, she wasn't going to make it worse by just...appearing right in front of him.

She didn't know what to do, but not doing anything made her heart hurt. Not talking to him made her heart hurt. Y/n couldn't believe that this was how their text friendship turned out. Of all the ways she imagined this thing ending, having Harry block her number and him virtually hating her.

"Just this today, hun?" the woman behind the counter asked when she brought the clothes up.

Y/n nodded. After her major slip up, she hadn't done much talking. She felt like a ghost, floating from place to place without a word until she could go back to her bus bunk and look at old messages. Y/n didn't really want to be on this tour anymore, but she couldn't bring herself to quit. She didn't have the energy.

Back at the new concert venue, Y/n went to the boys' dressing room. They crowded around her as she showed them the shirts and bracelets. "I can cut up the sleeves on some of them if you want," she said quietly.

"Really?"

"That'd be awesome!"

"Maybe a couple holes around the neck?"

"Do you think you could write 'IDIOT' on this one?"

Y/n had only been half-listening, but she looked over at Michael with her brows raised when he said that. "You want me to write what?"

"I don't know, I think it'd be cool. Don't you?"

All four of them looked to her at that. Since the tour started, the boys went to her for fashion advice. That was technically her job, but it felt like she suddenly had four younger brothers.

"Y—Yeah. Very punk rock. I'll get on that right now."

"You're the best, June!"

"I could kiss you!"

"Please don't," she said, shoulders tensing when they all squeezed her.

The four boys left her alone in search of food—because they were always hungry—and Y/n got to work. Or tried to. She was alone for all of two seconds before the door slammed open.

"Really? You fucking stalked your way onto this tour?"

It was the first time Y/n had seen Harry since the one time she bumped into him in the hallway a few days ago. Y/n thought he'd looked irritated then, but he looked downright furious now. His face was red and mouth turned into an angry frown. Y/n tried to speak, but she couldn't. She just kept staring at him, hoping the words to explain would come.

"I—It's not what you think—"

"You're sick! Sick in the head! I'm calling security. I can't believe this," he said, muttering the last part.

Sniffling, Y/n looked down at the clothes she was supposed to fix up for the boys. Her boys, she sometimes thought. She couldn't believe this was actually happening. Harry was in front of her, and he...he was calling security on her.

"You—You don't have to do that," she finally said. When she stood up, Harry stepped away from her. "I'll go. I swear. I know how this looks, and I know you won't believe me, but this is a coincidence. But...I'll go. You don't need to call security. I'll leave."

Y/n grabbed her things and the boys' clothes, not looking at Harry once. She couldn't handle seeing the look in his eyes. But she felt it. His glare burned his skin. She shuffled out of the room, head bent with her things in her hands. On her way out, she bumped into something. Someone.

"Woah, June. Is everything okay?"

It was Luke. He looked concerned, but she couldn't find it in him to explain. "I'm—I'm fine. I'm just going to finish this stuff up on the bus, okay? I'll have it done before the show."

Before he could say anything else, she left, trying to ignore what sounded like an argument starting in the room she'd vacated.

(three hours later)

Y/n was still on the tour bus fixing up the boys' clothes and waiting until it was time for her to leave for the airport. She knew she should've left right away, but she wanted to do this last thing. One last thing, and then she would be gone. It was almost time, and she'd finished cutting up the shirts, now she just needed to write the word 'IDIOT' on Michael's shirt. It was very fitting, Y/n felt like an absolute idiot for ever letting things get this far.

Still, she couldn't help but form a little smile as she sketched out the letters with a pencil. This job wasn't necessarily what Y/n had wanted, but it also wasn't what she initially expected. She liked the 5SOS guys, and she had to admit that there was something adventurous about going to a new city every few days. The point was, she liked it more than she thought she would, and now it was over.

(thirty minutes later)

Harry had been standing in front of the crew's tour bus for ten minutes. He wasn't sure if she was there, and he wasn't sure if he wanted her to be there. But he was standing in front of the bus door anyway, trying to decide if he was going to knock.

He'd been furious. Furious and alarmed and freaked out. When he'd gotten the first text from June, Harry immediately thought that she was some crazed fan who had somehow obtained his number. He slowly realized that wasn't the case, or so he thought. June had been lying this whole time, and not only that, she managed to become a crew member on tour.

When he heard her voice outside Five Seconds of Summer's dressing room, Harry was floored, and then he was scared, and then he was angry. Why couldn't people just leave him alone? It wasn't enough that he performed and gave all these little pieces of himself to the world. Why did everyone expect to give over all of himself?

And he talked to June about that at length, and he thought he was confiding in her, he thought they were sharing with each other. But she was...she was just lying to him.

And yet, she was still June. Months of texting and everything he felt didn't just evaporate because he discovered the truth. She was funny and charismatic and seemed to really like him, and he liked her too. A lot.

It was why he was at the bus. Harry wanted an explanation. He deserved that at least.

It took about a minute for the door to open after he knocked on it. She peeked her head out, watery red eyes surprised, and a little scared, to see him standing there. Mixed emotions flared in Harry's chest at the sight of her. Something squeezed his heart at finally putting a face to all the messages, to the girl he couldn't go more than a day without talking to. June was very pretty with a thick head of hair, high cheekbones, and pouty pink lips. Her nose was red, as if she'd been crying, and the part of Harry that cared about his friend hated seeing her like that, hated to know that this was how their first meeting was turning out. Harry had daydreamed about meeting June for the first time many times. A lot of times. None of his daydreams looked like this.

"Um, I promise I'm leaving. My flight is later tonight, and I just thought—It doesn't matter, I'll go."

Harry had met a good number of crazy fans over the years, and while he knew June was one of them, she seemed rather subdued. Instead of jumping him at any possible moment this entire tour, she minded her business and didn't try to talk to him once. Maybe he was believing in something he wanted to believe, but June didn't seem like the crazy stalker fan that she was.

"I want to talk. I want an explanation," he said.

June nodded, not opening the door any further but reaching her hand through the small crack. "I wrote it all down. I was going to give it to someone to give to you. It was the least I could do."

She didn't even want to talk to him? Was this all just an act to gain his sympathy? There was no way of knowing. If this was all one big con, June was a very good actress.

Harry took the note from June and unfolded it, reading it carefully.

H,

I just want to start off by saying that you have every right to be angry, I understand that I have betrayed your trust. And I have betrayed your trust, just not in the way that you might think.

I found out who you were a few days ago, it was why I was avoiding your texts. I'd overheard you talking to Michael and the other boys in their dressing room. It was right after we'd sent all our voice messages, and I just knew it was you who was behind the door. I couldn't quite believe it.

But I also didn't know how to tell you that I knew. I was shocked and confused...and to be honest I didn't know what to do with the information. I just...wasn't expecting you.

So I kept the secret for a little while I tried to figure out how to tell you, and...Well, you saw how that turned out.

I just want you to know that I had no idea who you were when we first started texting. I truly gave my number to some idiot that I slept with, and by some twist of fate, he gave me your number instead. I didn't want to text you, I didn't want to like you, I didn't...expect to share so much of myself with you. I know this is harder on you for so many reasons, and you are justified in not trusting me, but it was hard for me too. Part of me thought that if I told you and you saw me, really saw me, that you would be disappointed or not impressed or something like that. You mean meant mean a lot to me, and the thought of ruining our tentative friendship by us meeting scared me, so I foolishly thought I could avoid you the rest of the tour.

I'm sorry that you found out the way you did, and I'm sorry it caused you so much emotional pain. I know you probably won't trust anything I've said, but I hope this might help you understand. And with the hope that I don't come off as the obsessed stalker that you already think I am, I really did do like you, and all your secrets are safe with me, as I hope mine are with you.

All my love,

Yours,

Sincerely,

Best wishes,

June Bug

Harry looked read the letter once, then twice, then looked up at June, who was still hiding behind the bus door. It had closed that much more, like she was trying to shut him out.

He knew he had a right not to trust her, and part of him still didn't. But another him was pushing her toward him, drawing him to her. His gut was telling him to hear her out, that she was the June Bug from all of their messages.

His show was in a little over an hour. He had last minute things to do and pre-show rituals to complete, and he knew that people would start looking for him soon. But he didn't want to go.

"Can—Can I come in?" he found himself asking. "To talk?"

June's brows raised, like she wasn't quite expecting Harry to ask her that. Which was a valid thing to think, of course, but now he was hoping she would let him in. Or send him away so they could avoid a difficult conversation.

"Sure. Are you—Are you sure?" she asked him, thick brows furrowing. Harry would've found the wrinkle between them cute if it wasn't for the situation.

Was he sure? "Y—Yes."

Nodding, June opened the door further to let him inside. Harry's hand brushed against hers on his way past her, and she immediately recoiled. He ignored it, and looked down at her for the first time. Really looked at her.

She really was beautiful, there was no denying that. June had a kind face, one that held so much emotion in it. Harry felt like he could read every little feeling as it flitted across her face. And right now, she was looking at him like one word out of his mouth could make or break her. Unable to handle that kind of pressure, Harry focused on a little scar that cut into June's brow.

"Um, so obviously you're familiar with the layout of the bus. Do you want to sit at the couches in the back? Or the tables here, or we could just stand—"

"The couches are fine," Harry said.

“O—Okay. Couches it is."

June turned around and headed for the back of the bus, strands of her hair swishing with each step she took. Harry followed, wondering if he'd just made a huge mistake or was taking a risk worth taking.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

tags: @cookielovesbook-akie @sucker4angstt @l0v3e1i @bellesmith628 @marigold-morelli @obsessedmaggiemay @sophthearthoe

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

Ah.. I won't lie.. I've honestly went off the deep end ever since that 1.6 dose. I don't know what it is specifically but it has been ROUGH tryna act regular atp. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't really want to eat and when I do it's like I want everything all at once, I fucked up my sleep schedule right before I started my training.. Bruh like. All that shit ain't even what's upsetting me. It's just the dumb junk I've been doing as a result of my head.

I know it's kinda a multitude of things. Knowing that I can take a whole month's worth of benadryl in a single dose with no one noticing any difference has got me overthinking. On one hand, learning what all I can get away with by plain being quiet and not fussing even when I should has been nice. I don't know what it is about i but knowing that I used to only have a good 5-7 hours until they'd figure out I dipped which is now somewhere around 15-24 hours is comforting to me. But at the same point, it's kinda weird to look on. I know if we weren't as distant with each other this shit'd never fly

I've taken a damn near week long break from dph too and even then I had no real feeling of like.. Oh yay. I've been sober!!!1!1!!!1

It doesn't feel any diff than normal tbh. Whether I get high or not I do more of the same Plus, with the risk factor pretty much being nonexistent nowadays, I don't even have that to make my sober days stand out. It's all a blur atp. I even took 750 last night and woke up completely forgetting it even happened til I saw I left the top of my pills by accident

Plus all that and R has been blowing me off for the last like month or so. I've been tryna be patient and take no offense to it cause I get where she's coming from. She lost someone that was supposed to be around for good. I know it hurts still. But at the same point, I feel like such an outsider nowadays and I don't know how to react anymore. She unadded me months ago on the platform we orignally met/played together on which while at the time stung, I've grown to be okay with cause we've kinda went on two different paths gamewise. We weren't really playing togther no way you know ? But then it's like.. it started to happen again and again after the breakup was official.

She unadded me on insta and she turned off notifs anywhere else I'd reach out as well. And she's been mostly ignoring me for damn near a month now. I remember way back on her birthday I texted as sooon as 12:00 hit so I'd be the firsst to say it more than likely which she never said anything to. That was fine tbh, I didn't even realize she never said anything to that until after she ignored another text about a week later. By that point we were already not really talking but she semi started again after I sent her birthday gift but once that wore off we were barely talking again just like how it was before. I was tryna make sure she knew I wasn't mad or anything so I just sent a simple Hi I love you thinking nothing of it. Usually even if she goes ghost she'd text back within a few days or so but it's been damn near 2 weeks now

It all wouldn't be as hurtful if it were a mutual thing all of her friends were experiencing. But it's just me. She started back talking with an old (and honestly lowkey toxic) friend that she stopped talking to due to her partner not really liking their friendship. But she ran right back to her after the fact and ever since it feels like she's left me in the dust. She's following a few of her other rekindled friends and even started adding people back on the plat we met on again. But even with that, she still ignores me.. I've reached out in almost every platform we have each other on and a good 80% of that gets ignored. I genuinely don't know what to do for her now. She told me she felt uncomfortable with me checking in, so I stopped. I tried to just talk about random stuff, she ignores it. I tried to just send videos and memes, she'd either ignore or respond so late that I've forgotten I've even sent it. On the rare times she's the one that reaches out, it's not really conversational.. I don't really know how to explain that

It's making me feel so abandoned. She used to talk about how much she missed the toxic friend and how she's helped her in the past when no one else could. I guess that with the combo of everything else makes me feel like she doesn't need me anymore. it'd just make sense. All the times she's played me, all the times she's gotten upset at how I talk to her, seeing her going back to talking again with the only being exception of me not being there all makes it seem obvious. I feel really horrible for putting her in that position if that's the case. I would've ignored her earlier so she wouldn't feel as much guilt about not wanting me around. I hate that since I couldn't read the writing on the wall I more than likely made her feel so bad. It hurts that I wasn't what she needed/wanted anymore but it hurts worse knowing how long I dragged her along our friendship. She's really sweet you know? I know it probably hurt to have to do all this to get the point across

Ah that one was longer than the other two major influencers but I'm sure you understand why. None of them is what specifically is making me feel this way. Even slowly losing R. It stings a lot but.. we are our own people. I don't think it'd be right for me to base my entire self worth on person's opinion of me. But I'd be naive to act like it hasn't been a massive weight on my mood as well

It feels so off nowadays. Everything coming together like this.. all the smaller shit along the way.. I am just kinda. Here. I don't even know what to describe this feeling as. I want to cry, but it won't make me feel any better. I want to come clean, but it won't really solve anything (if it doesn't just make it worse tbh), I want to ask R what's up but I'm just tired. It feels like I'm always fighting and camouflaging to match what everyone wants from me. I've sat here and held back so many angry/sad texts to R purely cause I know why she's acting the way she is. Even though she's hurting me, I don't want to hurt her too. But having her become yet another person I have to heavily think on every move for.. It's all become too much. I just want to go ghost and pretend like this part of my life and all my previous family and friendships never happened. Just start all over somewhere new

I've been just barely resisting the urge to indulge in some only slightly better sh that I used to do in the past.

Content warning: specifics on self harm

this'll be the end of the note so you can just skip the rest if you don't wanna hear specifics on that

I've kinda been had an urge to cut again. I cut on my upper thighs so it's very easy to hide which has led me to going too hard on it in the past. I used to wear almost exclusively skinny jeans as well so the pain from my jeans being pressed on/rubbing against my wounds made me really like doing it. But nowadays I've been kinda iffy on it. I don't wear as much form fitting clothes + 9 times out of 10 dph does all that and more with no scars to worry bout either. I've done it once a few months back and ever since I think about it a whole lot but I've kept myself from bothering to for the most part. But tonight.. I don't know what came over me. I was just sitting there. I was so upset but I couldn't think of anything to even ease that. I was just kinda stoically looking around my room. But right before I started writing, I was finally gonna cave. It felt weird. I guess I'm glad I started writing then but at the same point.. it feels weird knowing that I was right at the cusp of crossing that bridge again

I'm done now. I don't know what else to say and I feel as thought if I try to go into more specifics than that this whole thing will be a mile long. I'm just gonna go to sleep

[jessicarobert007]

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REAL REVIEWS FROM REAL PEOPLE

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“...I can't sleep without it anymore.”

Hi Alexander...

...A few weeks ago everything just fall to pieces. I thought that was the end for me. I lost everything, my house but most of all my faith.

I bought your Manifestation Magic and in less than a week a lot has changed. I was always in fear what will happen to me and all of a sudden my puzzles pieces are coming back again...

...I'm listening every day and night all my audios and I can't sleep with out it anymore.

With lots of

I can only say WOW for everything you did for me and a change in my lifestyle. Thank you I really appreciate it.

Love

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- Pauli Grant

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“Wow so much and amazing things are happening right now it’s just fabulous!!!!”

Hi Alexander

Gosh where do l begin!

Wow so much and amazing things are happening right now it’s just fabulous!!!!

...My destiny is crystal clear and so bright I cannot thank u enough!!!!!

...My destiny is to help women who have been left with children and animals to fend for themselves. I am going to give them a home for the rest of their lives! Huge responsibility but I am up for it

Lots of love

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- Bridge

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“I still can’t believe this works.. what magic is this?!”

I’ve been listening to these audios repeatedly for a while now. I’ve been seeing 555, 11:11, 22:22 nothing happened for a while but after about 2 weeks, my sales have gone from 3 figures a month to 4 figures a month and it keeps growing. I still can’t believe this works.. what magic is this?!

Here’s my tip – don’t give up if it doesn’t happen immediately.. set your intentions clearly (very important), keep listening until you see the signs repeatedly, whatever it is you’re trying to manifest – it’s coming. Signs were everywhere for me – especially on my phone and my computer. I just kept seeing it, so I kept listening, putting out positive vibes and it finally happened for me.

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- Jason C.

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“I am extremely impressed with Manifestation Magic so far, a thoroughly worthwhile investment.”

Having just read the whole of the Quick Start Guide I am highly impressed with the level of detail and clear and precise directions that you have provided. You have demystified so many things that I was not clear about especially with the visualisation which has eluded me up till now. I am actually feeling quite excited that this can work for me and I'm not one to get excited easily! I am extremely impressed with Manifestation Magic so far, a thoroughly worthwhile investment.

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-Petrina

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“I use Manifestation Magic exclusively.”

Alexander,

I purchased your program and have been using it every day since. Your programs resonate with me and I will continue to use them.

So, please do not worry.

I purchased two other manifestation programs in the past that do not compare with what you produce. I use Manifestation Magic exclusively.

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-Kathy Arima

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“But WHOA these audios are different!!”

I’ve tried lots of other audios before – Brainwave, Subliminals, Hypnosis, you name it I’ve tried them all.. so I was expecting this to be like the same old crap I tried. But WHOA these audios are different!! I feel so energized and confident, I feel like new man! I don’t care much about money but my focus is self-transformation! …It’s weird I am seeing myself become stronger and feel more powerful day after day!

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- Alvin L’mpao

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I am amazed at the result so far! Apart from a shift in consciousness, after I filled in part one of the form and visualized a business class seat for my upcoming UK trip (which I had already booked economy), today in my email box I received a flier from the very carrier I was flying with telling me about their business class deals!"

I've recently started using your program and must admit to having a hefty dose of skepticism before beginning, having tried lots of similar programs in the past. However, after listening as suggested to several of the audios over a few days and beginning to complete the order form, I am amazed at the result so far! Apart from a shift in consciousness, after I filled in part one of the form and visualized a business class seat for my upcoming UK trip (which I had already booked economy), today in my email box I received a flier from the very carrier I was flying with telling me about their business class deals! If that’s not a sign that the universe is listening and putting wheels in motion, I don’t know what is! Very impressed and looking forward to moving in a new direction.

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“A billionaire contacted me within 2 minutes and I sold a camera I literally just posted within 3...WHOA”

Amazing product 😊 I just wanted to say THANK YOU!

A billionaire contacted me within 2 minutes and I sold a camera I literally just posted within 3...WHOA

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“I got $322 unexpected

deposit into my bank account...”

... The first day, nothing happened...

The second day I got a fillup on gas and $50 cash...

The SECOND time I tried this, I got $135 on the first day…

The THIRD time I tried it a week later, I got $322 unexpected deposit into my bank account…

Yesterday I did it again without even knowing it…woke up to someone calling me to give me $160

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“...I listen to the twilight one every night, all night...”

...I listen to the twilight one every night, all night...

... I seem to be able to deal with whatever is being thrown at me at the moment and deal with it and let it go.

I've been more of a positive person the past few days....

At least now, (and this is just after a few days) I can say I deserve and receive whatever the universe wants to give me.....instead of, I don't deserve.

So, thank you very much for putting these audios together.

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