#i've been medically transitioning

[bokusaka]

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[so-i-did-this-thing]

Trans Siegfried headcanons 👀

::gleefully rubs hands::

So, this is for 2020 series!Siegfried.

I remember reading a tumblr anecdote regarding an old woman talking about her cousin, whose parents just quietly allowed him to socially transition as a youngster, "taking away" their daughter one year, just to reappear with a son. And the community didn't really question it, and the family looked back fondly on the man that child had become and how he was happy.

I'd like that for Siegfried. Family a little confused, but ultimately supportive. Him being clever and initially a little reckless with figuring out DIY HRT when he becomes a vet (let's pretend T gets synthesized some decades earlier than in our world). Being stealth as a soldier in WW1, getting a reputation for being protective of the "baby-faced" recruits that crossed his path, most often women in disguise or other trans mascs looking to prove themselves. (Hello, Monstrous Regiment vibes.) Feeling angry with himself for realizing some of his jealousy towards Tristan for being the favored son is rooted in lingering doubts about how his parents, especially his father, saw him. Being hesitant to be vulnerable again in a serious relationship after Evelyn, but realizing the trans stuff is just a convenient excuse for maintaining the widower status quo and the realization that he has become risk-adverse as he's aged.

Honestly, he is a trans joy headcanon for me, despite him being a little emotionally constipated. 🤣

[transfagholmes]

i think I'm going to lose at the gender clinic bc despite being on testosterone for 3 1/2 years and almost 2 years post top surgery i really made it sound like i transitioned bc it seemed cool 2 me. this is true! but the details of the other factors like dysphoria are so deeply personal and also largely in the past that it is v difficult to tell other people about. it feels like I'm betraying the privacy of past me to sell my transgenderism to clinicians that don't give a fuck about me. and like. ik that's the game so maybe i'm the crazy one. but. yeah I'm not describing in detail every time i felt miserable about myself or my body. which is exactly what they want so we r at an impasse. :/

[obsmiechujek]

Guess who's celebrating coming out as trans today!!!

[obstinatecondolement]

I am still in my feelings about that "I didn't transition to look like Elliot Page: I wanted to look like Hank Hill" thing because like?? Very fucking rude to Elliot Page first of all?? What the fuck is the subtext here? That he doesn't look enough like a "real" man and is some kind of dilettante who we shouldn't take seriously until he mans up, or something?

Also like... as far as I know Page is not attracted to men, but it feels vaguely homophobic? "I want to be a Normal Straight Man who looks like a Regular Guy not a fucking [slur redacted]" Like fuck off? And it had so many notes! How is policing the gender presentation of other transmasc people being so roundly fucking applauded, oh my god.

[truestfeeiing]

hallo friends and pals, pronoun update to he/they 🧍 also in bio now that i decided to be more of a person on here

i've always been flexible and they/them is still ok just trying to deal with the growing unease inside me about my best self and what i could be if i leaned a bit more into my natural self and forget propriety.

[mythicalcoolkid]

All of the things that would be "awkward" for me to do around extended family are really not because of me or anything about the thing itself, but entirely about how my parents stopped telling anyone major information about me after like fifth grade

Like I can't bring have disability aids with me NOT because health stuff is weird but because it's much weirder that I have in fact had significant health problems since I can remember and have been disabled since, generously, 17 (more accurately 11 or 12) and my parents didn't tell anyone. I can't officially come out NOT because people would be weird about it (they would but I don't care) but because that would necessitate admitting that I've been living socially as male for going on ten years now and my parents never said anything and had me just. Pretend I wasn't. Like it's so funny now that I've had so many huge life changes that I CAN'T talk about it because the inevitable follow-up is "wait. This has been going on HOW long...?"

[non-un-topo]

Every time I spend too many days in a row at home, I get it into my head that I don't actually want to transition, and then I go back into the world and go Oh. I remember what it's like to have a body and a mind.

[clementiens]

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[thehallstara]

might expand on this properly at some point when i'm not on the verge of passing out but i've been thinking a lot lately abt how a lot my ongoing complicated gender feelings and feelings/thoughts abt being a gnc person have to do w/ the way jewish men and women are characterized by the broader public and thats def not something unique to jews but it has been weighing on me lately

[beowulfgang]

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[dittohasadhd]

don't get me wrong, I love that other trans people are trying to be like "I get it, I relate" but when your response to someone sharing their pronouns and gender identity with you is only, insistently, and repeatedly "I used to use those, but it ultimately didn't feel right" it starts to sound like "it's just a phase, you'll pick a side one day".

[micahthemoon]

August 13 2023

It’s 11 pm and I am getting ever more tempted to go private with my top surgery. It is times like these where I hyperfocus on stupid things like whether my chin is getting too big and if that means I am gaining weight and losing my one chance to get a surgery spot in two freaking years that gets me thinking: maybe I don’t need this pressure on myself? Hopefully I can keep the semi-good habits while not fearing every pound I might gain. Going private of course will have its own struggles, idk.

[genderfluid-druid]

dissociating at the gym is a great way to cope when you have a lot of nervous energy and/or emotions to process, but watch out bc sometimes the processing you need to do is cry

[xythlia]

I feel so exhausted I didn't get home from the hospital until about 2 am

[quasieli]

I'm a lil :/ rn. I reached out to a medical center that specializes in trans care to maybe speak to a therapist/counselor about my thoughts and feelings re: medical transition. They just got back to me and it is stupidly expensive, and they straight up said it cannot be reimbursed by my insurance :( I'm sure there's a lot more options out there that I can look into but just annoyed rn.