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a-araiguma-a · 5 months ago

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Prologue. Between the serving and Her smile.

Chapter 4. The decision made leads to a new home.

Fandom: Harry Potter Pairing: in the future Oliver Wood x fem!reader Warning: - a/n:I know I need to speed up with the work, but if I release the chapters too quickly, who will read them? Rushing won’t lead to anything good, but I can give you a spoiler: "Fred, winking at his brother, said, 'We can't let anyone think we have a heart.'" / "He never had the courage to admit it to himself, let alone say it to her. And now, the thought of her spending time with Oliver, his friend and teammate, made him feel jealous."

Start - Prolog (Episode 1 - Episode 2 - Episode 3 - Episode 4 - Episode 5) - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

The week flew by faster than Margaret had expected. Time seemed simultaneously endless and fleeting, as if each second brought with it important decisions and changes. Margaret was still trying to sort out her feelings, but the days passed quickly, and the moment she had feared so much finally arrived. On the day of their return visit, her heart beat faster than usual, but now she knew what she had to do. She stood by the window of her room, watching the car carrying Mr. and Mrs. Fairchild pull up. Her grandparents, whom she barely knew but who were connected to her by invisible threads of heritage and magic, had returned to hear her final decision.

Mr. Fairchild helped his wife out of the car. Mrs. Fairchild looked a bit tense, but her eyes sparkled with hope. They knocked on the door, and soon Bennett opened it for them.

"Welcome. We've been expecting you."

"Thank you, Bennett," Enola quietly replied, and they entered the house.

Tension hung in the air; everyone knew the moment of truth had come.

Miranda joined them in the living room, where everyone had already gathered. Margaret, feeling her anxiety build, kept her eyes on the floor. She knew what she had to say but struggled to gather her thoughts into a coherent whole.

Mr. Fairchild, as always, remained composed, but his eyes gleamed with interest and perhaps anxiety. Enola, on the other hand, looked animated but still slightly nervous. She was the first to speak, smiling at Margaret:

"Dear, we're so glad to see you again. We hope you've had the chance to think about our offer. We know it's not easy, but we want you to know that no matter what you decide, we will always support you."

Margaret took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. In their eyes, she saw not only concern but also anticipation. She knew they hoped for her agreement, but she also felt that they understood her hesitation. Her voice trembled with emotion, but she couldn’t allow herself to back down.

"Grandma, Grandpa..." she began, trying to speak calmly. "I've thought a lot about what you proposed. And... it was hard. All this time, I've been living here, with Dad and Miranda. And even though we haven't always been close, this has been my home. And now I have to leave, to go to people I barely know. You... you came into my life so suddenly, and it was hard to accept."

She glanced at her father and Miranda, their faces full of anxiety and concern. Margaret felt caught between two worlds, unsure how to deal with these emotions.

"It hurt me that you only appeared now," she continued, with a slight note of reproach in her voice. "Why didn’t you come sooner? Why did you leave me alone when I needed to know more about my mother, about magic? Now that you’re here, you’re asking me to leave everything I’ve known behind. It’s not easy for me."

Enola nodded gently, her eyes filled with understanding.

"We understand, dear," she said. "We didn’t want to intrude on your life, especially after your mother was gone. It was a difficult time for all of us, and we thought it would be best to give you space. We were wrong, and I deeply regret that. But your mother was part of our family, and you are her continuation. Now that you have the opportunity to enter the world of magic, which is your rightful place, we don’t want you to miss this chance."

Margaret sighed, feeling her voice start to tremble again.

"I understand that, Grandma," she replied. "But it’s hard for me to leave everything I’ve known until now. I don’t know what awaits me. And all of this scares me. It feels like I’m losing not only my home but also a part of myself that has always been connected to this place."

Mr. Fairchild, who had been silent until then, quietly added:

"We never forgot about you, Margaret. We always watched from afar, hoping that one day we could bring you back into the family. You are the only heir to our family, and we rely on you. But you must know: we are not here to take you away from your home. We want you to become part of ours, part of the world that is rightfully yours," his voice was deep and firm, yet full of hidden kindness.

Margaret looked into her grandfather’s eyes. He wasn’t a man who openly expressed his feelings, but she knew that his expectations of her were high.

He paused, watching his granddaughter’s reaction, then continued:

"You are our only heir, and we have great hopes for you. But these hopes should not become a burden. We want you to grow, to find your own path in this world. We will be here to support you, just as your father and Miranda will."

Margaret felt tears welling up in her eyes. She understood that her grandparents genuinely cared about her, but that didn’t make the choice any easier.

"I understand, Grandpa," she said, feeling something shift inside her. "It’s a great honor, and I’m grateful to you for it. But I need time to get used to the idea that I have to leave. It’s difficult for me. And I agree to this journey. I want to learn more about myself, about my mother, about the world you’re offering me, but I need you to understand: I’m still attached to this home, to the people who have been with me all these years."

Bennett, who had been standing aside, couldn’t resist and stepped closer to his daughter. His eyes were full of tears, but he held back, not wanting to show weakness.

"Margaret, I’m proud of you," he said quietly, struggling to keep his voice steady. "I know this is a difficult decision, and I support you. No matter how far you go, you will always be my daughter. And you can always come home whenever you want."

Miranda, holding back tears, hugged Margaret, whispering:

"You made the right choice, honey. And we will always be here, even if you leave. We’ll be waiting for you at Christmas and any other holidays."

Margaret felt her heart tighten with tenderness and pain at the same time. She knew she had made the right decision, but it didn’t lessen her longing for the home she now had to leave.

Enola smiled, noticing the tears in her granddaughter’s eyes.

"We understand, dear," she said. "You can always come back here whenever you want. This house and these people will always be part of your life. We just want you to know that you have another home, where you will always be welcome. We don’t want to replace your parents; we want to be part of your life, just like they are."

Margaret nodded, feeling that these words brought her comfort.

"Thank you, Grandma, Grandpa," she said softly, looking at her family. "I’m ready. But please, let’s move slowly. I need time to get used to everything."

Mr. Fairchild nodded, his face remaining serious, but pride was visible in his eyes.

"You will always be part of our family," he said. "And we will be waiting for you in our home with open arms."

Bennett felt a sense of relief. He saw that Margaret had made her choice, and it was a mature and thoughtful one.

"Margaret," he said, stepping closer, "I’m proud of you. No matter how hard it is, I know you will succeed. We will all be waiting for you here when you decide to come back."

Margaret turned to her father and saw in his eyes not only support but also something new—a sincere care that she had been seeking for so long.

"Thank you, Dad," she quietly replied. "I’ll write to you, I promise."

They all stood together, feeling the tension gradually fade away. Margaret knew that challenges lay ahead, but she was ready to face them, with the support of her family, both old and new, behind her.

Gathering her belongings, Margaret headed toward the exit, ready to embark on a journey to her new home. Her heart was full of mixed emotions: fear of the unknown, sadness at saying goodbye to the home and people who had become her family, and a small, barely noticeable spark of hope for new discoveries.

When the moment of farewell came, she stood at the entrance of the house where she had spent all eleven years of her life. Before leaving, she glanced back at Miranda, who stood by the door, watching as Margaret left. Miranda’s eyes were full of anxiety, but also love. In that moment, Margaret felt her heart fill with gratitude for everything Miranda had done for her.

“Goodbye, Mom,” Margaret quietly said, calling Miranda by that word for the first time. The word, spoken for the first time by her, resonated warmly in both of their hearts.

Miranda, unable to hold back her tears, rushed to her and embraced her tightly. Despite the seriousness of the moment, her face was lit up by a happy smile.

“I’ve waited so long for this,” she replied, gently stroking Margaret’s blonde hair. “Remember that we’re always here for you, and you can always come back.”

Margaret hugged her back, feeling the warmth of those words and the support they carried. She knew that this moment was important not only for her but for Miranda as well.

“I’ll miss you too,” she replied, trying to hold back tears.

When they finally pulled apart, Margaret looked at her father, who was standing nearby. She turned to her father, who silently stood by. Bennett sighed, his gaze expressing a whole spectrum of emotions that he had kept hidden for so long.

“Take care of yourself, Margaret,” he said.

She nodded in response, taking one last look at her home before taking a deep breath and turning toward her grandparents, who were waiting for her by the car. When the door closed, she felt the world around her begin to change.

#harry potter imagine #oliver wood #oliver wood imagine #oliver wood x reader #oliver wood x you #x reader #hp imagine #x y/n #harry potter fandom #harry potter

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mocnlighted · 1 year ago

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PSA: It’s nearly September which means pretty soon I’ll be back in classes and my time on here is gradually going to become limited as I won't have as much freetime to

Discord: I will be archiving all servers that have been inactive for 2+ months. If we share a server that falls into this category, this doesn’t mean that we can’t ever write together again, there’s no hard feelings at all - I would just much rather focus on my more active servers. I would also be open to bringing our threads to tumblr, if that’s something you would want too! Tumblr: I won’t be dropping any threads and I’m currently working on my drafts to get through all owed replies to existing threads and starters that i've been tagged in. Please let me know if you want to drop a thread and/or start a new one, even if it's with different muses entirely. The queue on my writing blog is currently set to post 3 replies a day but if you would like our thread posted sooner then please do let me know and, if it’s queued, I’ll post it. I do use the RPThreadTracker and you can find all my owed replies here. If you don't see our thread there, it's because I haven't replied to it yet and the tracking system only works once I reply to it so it will be updated when my reply has been posted.

Going forward, I will be selective when accepting new partners or starting new threads, especially since I'm quite content with the people I'm writing with atm (both current and inactive), but if we are mutuals please don't feel hesitant to reach out! I have updated my rules (the goal was to make it shorter/easier to read but ofc I ended doing with the opposite dfgdkf) just so that people have a better understanding of what to expect when writing with me.

As a courtesty to the people that I'm writing with, I will always post updates if there's any major change to my activity and reach out to my partners if I need to drop any of our threads. It is a shitty feeling to be ghosted or left hanging and the last thing I'd want to do is inflict that on to anyone so whether it's a reply, tagging our pairings in musings, badgering you with headcanons or showing you the 100th pinterest board i've made - you will know i'm still around💗

#this got longer than i wanted but it serves its purpose lmao #ooc ( if i had a mic i’d drop it. )

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crownshattered-arch · 2 years ago

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|| This isn't really a new rule but instead just something I want my mutuals to know about me, but it will go on my rules page anyway so here~ XDD

I will NEVER pressure anyone for a reply. I'm very slow myself, as you guys can already tell, and I prefer quality over quantity when it comes to replies!! Always take your time with them, and I'd be happy to receive a reply from you even if it was YEARS later~ However, from time to time (especially with how dumb Tumblr is being with notifications right now) I may check on the status of a reply. I am in no way asking when you will reply to it or asking you to reply to it sooner. I've had people "check on replies" in the past but I can tell that they just want me to reply to their thread faster. THIS IS NOT THE CASE WITH ME!!! I genuinely just want to make sure you saw my reply, and that's all!! If I ask about a reply, please don't prioritize it over your other threads!! I don't care how long it takes for you to respond to it!! I just want to make sure you saw it to begin with!!

#(im gonna revise my rules in a sec to fit with this notification crisis...but here's this for now XDD)#◢||⋇ why do you write like you’re running out of time? [ooc] ⋇||◣#◢||⋇ psa ⋇||◣

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lil-kissy · 2 years ago

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You know what I kinda wanna expand on that thought from my previous post about waiting.

Specifically how while I do fully agree with all posts I've seen that talk about being patient, Rping is a hobby and all that others stuff. 100%, support and agree everyone is more then allowed to take whatever time they need to respond.

Rp or otherwise I bet nearly every can understand how things like motivation can wax and wane, and even if you are interested in multiple things sometimes one thing grabs you more then others. Time not allowing you to do everything you want so you gotta sometimes pick and choose.

Basically a more extensive way of being told 'Be Patient'

I completely understand all of it and just about everyone else I've met and know in rpc are pretty well understanding and accepting of it all too.

However there is a flip side that personally I don't think I've seen addressed enough, and even I've kinda touched on it but also tip toed a bit never quite sure how to properly express the feelings without giving the wrong impression or coming off rude.

Which is how hard it can feel being the one stuck waiting, and that honestly as long as you aren't a dick and don't start harassing people/your partners about it, demanding replies that kinda thing, it's okay to feel frustrated or upset.

Because honestly over all the years I've rp'd on here(and off), I get it. Even now I still find myself feeling a little down, even frustrated during a long wait, because let's be real especially if its for something you're excited for waiting can really suck.

True it's also exciting, the anticipation of what's to come but come on no matter how excited you are I'm sure a lot of people would still get bored waiting their turn in a long line for a ride at an amusement park ride.

Or the long wait for a package you ordered to arrived, sure they have the perk of an expected arrival date but its still not set in stone some times it can arrive sooner or later then expected. But who hasn't had moments where they'd wish their package could just arrive immediately despite knowing full while why it's taking the time that it is to arrive.

In someways I'd argue that's kinda similar to at least for me how it can feel. I know what I signed up for and I can promise I'm never mad at nor blame any of my partners for the wait no matter how long, even I've had moments of being the one to (unintentionally) make my partner wait and am always super grateful for their patience.

And just like I know I can't speed up a packages arrival, nor would I dare act like some asshole because a line up is moving slowly, I'd never demand or expect my partner to be faster or other wise act like I'm some how owed a quick response. (Hell no)

However I do believe that there's nothing wrong with acknowledging the struggles that can come along with being on the receiving/waiting end of things. Even if the wait is worth it- which honestly if you're with the right person/people it always will be no matter how long,

If anything at least for me I'd say some if not all the frustration of waiting comes from well the excitement of wanting to continue wanting to keep going but well until that response hits you can't.

Don't know if this is a hot take or not but I think you can be both patient, respectful about waiting for rp replies and understand all the reasons for why but also you don't have to like it and it's okay to acknowledge and admit,

Waiting Sucks.

But feeling frustrated or upset wishing that you didn't have to wait to continue that thread(s) or whatever you're feeling because of it doesn't automatically make you a bad person. It doesn't mean someone doesn't care about their partner(s) and their feelings.

Just don't be a dick about it.

Again this is something I've frequently thought about talking about/ express my thoughts and feelings on but I also really didn't want to wind up giving the wrong impression and come off sounding like some selfish, entitled asshole.

-----

As I hope I've made clear it isn't a bad thing to take whatever time you need and any reasonable rp partner(s) will understand this.

But just as nobody owes anyone a reply and are allowed to respond at whatever speed fits you, and is completely valid to want to be respected for that, the reverse is also true no one owes you their time and yet I know there are a lot of people (me included) who are willing to give the time and wait for our partners but that doesn't always make it easy and just I think that's just as valid a feeling.

If you can respect the time people take to write up a response so to should the time those waited be respected you know.

Not enjoying waiting doesn't make you a bad person / RP partner- being a dick about it does.

#psa #this is just a long time thought that I never knew how to word and feared being taken and twisted the wrong way #like personally I can / do and will always gladly wait for my partners #doesn't mean I like or enjoy it I just am able to accept it as part of the process #for a final example like how it can suck having to wait for a new episode of a show to come out or movie to realse #obviously I'd never want a company to rush it to get it out sooner #but man it can still be so hard to have to wait and suck #I'd say at this point everyone and their dog who's a different person knows and can agree yeh #people deserve to write at their own pace and reply to whatever they like whenever they want #although if it activley does feel like it could be problem maybe idk politley just ask them if anything is going on #if the wait is because of struggling to find motivation to reply maybe its time to start something fresh and move on #or whatever #not a perfect soloution but *communiction* is always a help

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mrdcktm · 5 years ago

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In the middle of going back into his routines, most of the times he really tried his best not to don the suit. It was hard to wash the blood off after the last encounter with The Hand several months ago when he has to let the last memories of her drain into the sink as well ( ...it didn’t ); it was difficult to survey the streets while every once in a while that he rests above ground, his mind keeps looping those last moments that HE FAILED HIS PROMISE —— and by then, IT WAS JUST ALL TOO MUCH.

The files Foggy send over for him to review and take had stacked up his table while Karen stopped giving him calls he might or might have purposely missed. Stacked and dropped on the floor, where pieces of parchment scattered and he didn’t have the energy to touch them ... just like the thoughts jumping at him in every corner he goes — be it his city’s back alleys or IN HIS HEAD.

So he decides to do silent patrols in nights he is restless, and yet the adrenaline never stops flaring towards the centre of both FIGHT & FLIGHT RESPONSES. Decides to keep tabs on The Hand’s activity underground while choosing to intervene only on high-level risk if necessary. Otherwise, the Devil finds himself coming back to certain spots he prefers whenever immersing himself in the thrum of the Kitchen’s life as it sleeps. But someone, one he hasn’t met yet, is at one of his posts tonight; they begin to pop up randomly, couple of weeks ago, and Matt never paid attention to it as long as there isn’t trouble needing fixing.

❛ It’s ... one of my usual spots. ❜ Explains shortly, as he tries to discern the meaning of words as if the person isn’t as same as Matt�� down to the basic molecular structure; as if he’s different. Matt keeps a mental note running about an encounter. ❛ As long as you’re keeping the peace here, I don’t mind. ❜ The masked man casually then sits besides the other with appropriate space, accommodating for fast reflexes if prompted.

❛ Usually, people seek some sort of SANCTUARY to talk in, even if it’s not with another person. Ever tried one of those? To be fair, lately, the advice itself isn’t working out for me. You might have a better luck though. ❜

▬▬▬▬ ＆； @sviker ， cont.

#sviker #sviker / 001 / AC * late night chats on abandoned rooftops.#v002. GUILTY AS CHARGED. / season 2.#i love them ??#i've always wanted to reply at this thread sooner so !!#here it is !!!

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anathemafiction · 3 years ago

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I posted 308 times in 2021

232 posts created (75%)

76 posts reblogged (25%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.3 posts.

I added 618 tags in 2021

#the golden rose - 249 posts

#asks - 80 posts

#mc - 46 posts

#anonymous - 40 posts

#fanart - 36 posts

#rambles - 36 posts

#alessa - 34 posts

#hadrian - 33 posts

#personal - 32 posts

#progress update - 32 posts

Longest Tag: 129 characters

#i still want to test a few more things and i haven't had as much free time as i wish so i'm expanding the testing phase for a bit

My Top Posts in 2021

I heard back from Hosted Games!

And The Golden Rose's submission has officially been received! I'll admit, I was growing a tiny bit worried about the lack of a reply, thinking that maybe I messed up the submission in some way, so I almost squealed when I saw the email notification. 😄

Next, the game is being sent to Content Review. I reckon this is when they read the Rose and send me back their review along with anything I need to alter - which I hope won't be too much! This is the first time any of my work will be "professionally reviewed" and it is intimidating! But a part of me is also really curious about what they're going to say. Is my work worth publishing? Isn't that the golden question.

There is a bit of a queue, however - which is great, it means a lot of games are coming out! - and the Rose is quite a big game (one million and two hundred thousand words long) so I expect this process will take a while.

In the meanwhile, they sent me some supplementary documents to read and a list of assets they need from me before publication. I'll read everything carefully tomorrow, but I expect to start working on the outline for Book 2 on Monday. The writing itch has been increasingly harder to ignore. I've been doing so much reading lately, it makes me want to grab a pen even more!

So that is all! One more step forward. Patience truly is a virtue, one that I have always struggled with, so of course, life decided to put me to the test once more xD

Have a great rest of the week! 🌹

398 notes • Posted 2021-08-19 22:39:12 GMT

Announcement

Hello, everyone! I've been wanting to make this post for a while, but I wanted to be sure before I shared anything, for only a fool makes the same mistake twice - and this one, in a row.

As you may be aware, I did two weeks of beta testing with close to 45 wonderful testers participating. And the reviews were overwhelmingly positive (seriously, you guys gave me such a boost in confidence 😭). It made me even more eager to share this game with everyone - to read all your thoughts and reactions about it.

However. However, three of those testers said something that cut me deep. Because the hardest criticism to hear is the one that deep down, you agree with. They told me that the ending was lacking. Not because of the content, but because it cut abruptly. It left them wanting for more, but not in the satisfying way you feel after a big, hearty meal. Looking forward to trying more dishes from the same cook. It left them looking for more as in: I am almost full, but something is missing still.

I picked the cut-off point between Book 1 and 2 based on an image I had in my head - a mix of red and blue in a dramatic blaze. But, I realized as I read the reviews of these three testers, that I picked the cut-off point wrong.

It needs more. The book needs one final chapter.

And it is such an easy fix. What would be the beginning of Book 2 is now the end of the first one. So, I left my self-pitying aside and did what I love to do. I wrote! And have thus finished the first draft of Chapter 8 - the new final chapter.

And... I love it. I am in love with it. Chapter 6 was my previous favorite chapter, but this one now takes the cake. It ties the whole book together so much more perfectly, with threads and clues coming united and how did I not realize this sooner? Why did I ever consider releasing the Book as it was before? I cannot stress how important it is to have fresh eyes looking at your work.

Because I have all the answers in my head, everything makes sense to me. So, in my eyes, the first ending would have been perfect - because I had knowledge that, of course, the readers can't have! It seems so simple, but after you work on something alone for so many months, it's so easy to fall into this trap. This is a mistake I am vowing never to commit again.

I am beyond grateful to my testers. They allowed me to craft this first Book into what it should have been all along. So much so that I'm embarrassed now about the whole beta process altogether - for I showed what I now consider an incomplete game to all of these wonderful people.

All of this to say? I need about an extra month/month and a half to truly finish The Golden Rose. I am not done yet, as I have foolishly announced before.

I know this will probably disappoint some of you - and you have every right to feel so. I am really sorry. I've been getting so many messages of support and excitement about the game, and I appreciate them so much. So it's with a very heavy heart that I'm telling you that I need more time.

But, on the bright side, you'll have a longer game and more content to play once it does come out! 95% of the game is DONE - as in, coded and edited and shining. I've fixed all the continuity errors, all the bugs, and while I'm sure some typos have slipped through the cracks, at least the most outrageous ones are corrected too.

The Rose is so close to being ready - I just need to add its finishing touches. And it will be such a better book because of them.

Because I want to be completely transparent, I'll share my to-do list before submitting the game:

Finish the second draft of chapter 8 and the new Epilogue.

Write all the suggestions/expansion of choices from my beta testers.

Put it all into code.

Do one week of extensive playtesting.

Storytelling is one hell of a craft. It's a difficult one, oftentimes, a cruel one too. But it's one that, as long as you practice it, you get better. It may take months and years, it may be so slow, it seems as if you stand perpetually in the same place. But you get better.

I've learned a lot, and I hope to continue learning even more. This was a particularly hard lesson to learn. A hard one to accept. One more chapter. I hope you all can understand.

Have a great week, everyone! And I'll be sharing all the progress I make. I'm so EXCITED to start writing the second draft!!!! 🌹

426 notes • Posted 2021-05-11 16:31:02 GMT

Hadrians heart rate when mc leans against him on the horse

Hadrians heart rate when mc holds his hands afterwards

His back is so straight, it could be made of stone.

Hadrian barely dares to breathe, the only air allowed out is through the tiniest crack in his lips. His face is heating, both from the pressure in his lungs and the intensity of your proximity.

Lord in Heaven.

He shouldn't have invited you to ride with him, but he had to. Billy seemed exhausted, and Hadrian couldn't bear to see you walk. Not after the roughness of the road, not after the bandits and that sword that had come so close to-

Hadrian briefly closes his eyes as you shift in front of him. Your legs on the saddle brush against his tighs, and Lord, he should have just given you Elly. He could have walked, why didn't he think it? But as his fingers tighten on the reigns, a small voice at the back of his head, a treasonous, sinful, undeserving voice whispers that he lies to himself. That he wouldn't have it any other way, now would he? The false decent of man that he is.

"... and beyond, the harbor."

Alessa's voice snaps him out of his thoughts, and Hadrian opens his eyes to the night once again. Tarragona materializes in front of him, the road starting to ascend to the top of a hill.

Hadrian shakes his head. There are more important things to worry about. Like the maps, and this Rafael, and the fact that both you and Alessa kept him in the dark for so long. You don't trust him, he tells himself for the hundredth time. A dark wave starts to spill over his thoughts as Hadrian's eyes darken. You don't trust him, and why should you?

The road is steeper, Elly's hooves struggle for a moment, and you fall back on the saddle. Hadrian doesn't have time to process as a warm weight presses on his chest. It's not sudden but gradual, like the shift of slow-moving sands in the landscape of a desert. You don't clash against him, but melt instead, first your lower back, then your shoulder blades, and then his head is spinning when the back of your skull rests just between his collar bones.

His hands freeze on the reigns, his eyes fly open and if there's sand in his thoughts, there is sand right now in his throat and his ears and his tongue because they all feel numb and rough and Father from above, he can smell your hair and it sends his already spinning thoughts into a violent whirlwind.

He can feel his body locking, and vaguely, between the madness, he can feel you stiffing too. Can feel your hands twisting, can feel you start to lean away-

Hadrian lets out a sharp exhale. He's an idiot, one that you don't trust, but he's not as big an idiot as to let this go. His arms bend, and tentatively, feeling the tips of his ears burn with the fire of a thousand suns, he rests one hand against your stomach. He feels your intake of breath through both his fingertips and his chest, and he smiles, then, when you nuzzle closer still.

Father, you bless me.

His chin rests on top of your head, and Hadrian decides that he's done thinking. You're in his arms, on top of Elly, and the city doesn't look as menacing as before.

"The road eventually drives towards the sea." Alessa's voice cuts through the silence like a knife. She is staring with narrowed eyes. "But we will go east, find our way into the residential district."

His smile doesn't waver. He's done thinking. He can't. Not as his thoughts are made of senses, and those... those can feel nothing beyond you.

- - -

Your arms are wrapped around her, and Alessa does not mean to, but she can feel her spine lose its strength. Even as she rests against you, Alessa tries to keep her composure, tries to keep from making a complete fool of herself.

You hum faintly, the vibrations traveling from your chest and spreading through her back like the quakes following the step of a giant. And your voice tingles against her ear in a lazy rush that nonetheless makes a shiver run down her spine, and Alessa does not mean to. But whatever little distance her pride had forced her to keep disappears as she melts against you.

'Tis such a warm night, and tiredness looms too closely at the edges of her sight, and she did not mean to. But a sigh leaves her parted lips as you tuck her in, your warmth not unpleasant, your closeness much too safe and she is a fool, but Alessa decides then, that for the ride, just for this ride, she will not mind it so.

She will not mind it as the Devil's Bridge comes into view. She will not mind it as Kroner walks through the streets of Tarragona, with shadows on the corners and buildings with too many windows, too many possible hidden eyes. She will not mind it, she commands herself through clenched teeth and restless fingers. She will-

Your hands suddenly envelop her own. Alessa blinks and looks down to see your fingers intertwining with hers, your thumb making little soothing circles against her skin. The leather of the reigns feels too rough as she clenches them tight, as she instinctively locks all her joints and feels adrenaline spike as if she's rushing for combat.

She is too cold, she knows. Too cold because your hands, so comforting, lose their confidence. Alessa can feel your hesitance, and above all, in this short moment, in this ride she did not plan but can never regret, Alessa wishes to reassure you.

So, stiffly, always too stiff, she grabs your hands back and accepts your touch. Your cheek brushes her forehead, and she almost swears she can feel you smiling.

Fool.

But so is she, because Alessa smiles a secret smile as her muscles lose all tension and you intertwine as closely as your hands. Her fingertips find your wrist, and in there, she seeks the soft, faint rhythm of your heart. She cannot feel it on her back, beating through your chest, but Alessa imagines that she does. She imagines the sound pouncing in tandem with the one on your wrist, the vibrations enveloping her in a strange, new reality.

They pull her down, away from her doubts and fears. Away from her worries and thoughts of treasures stolen by bitter former allies.

The inn is right ahead, but Alessa wishes that the road could somehow stretch, that time could slow or even halt altogether. Her skin is too cold, she knows. It always is. But in your hands, she can feel it warm. And in your arms, she can feel herself calm.

And with your breathing in her ears and your pulse in her hands, Alessa lets herself go.

For a while. Just for this ride.

465 notes • Posted 2021-09-07 16:11:56 GMT

Finished The Golden Rose

It is done. The whole game is written, edited, and coded. It took me four more months than I expected - I wanted to have reached this stage before the turn of the year - but then again, I never did anticipate reaching the million-word count.

When I started writing the Rose, the one thing I wanted was to make a game that I would like to have played. And I can say, proudly, that it is. I hope you'll all like it, of course, but at least I managed to meet my very first and most important goal.

Next, it follows the Beta testing. I think I will run it for about two weeks. I am... very nervous about it. The thought of people actually playing the whole game is both terrifying and exhilarating. I'll probably shake when those first reactions arrive 😩.

This is not a call for beta testers! I need to organize myself first. So please, don't send me applications yet!

The ship is not yet quite docked, but firm land is on sight. And what a journey it has been, uh? I hope the week goes amazing to you all! 🌹

595 notes • Posted 2021-04-11 15:48:01 GMT

Submitted The Golden Rose

It is done. The edits are finished, the email is sent, and this project, this passion, this behemoth of an undertaking is thus completed.

I can still barely believe it.

I know there's still road to walk before publication, but right now, I feel like it's out of my hands. The Rose has gained wings, and it flies away from me. And I cannot wait until it's there for you all to see.

I want to thank everyone who walked with me along this journey, either from the very beginning, when we were all still starry-eyed travelers and had no idea how many miles stretched before us. Or those who joined recently, lending me your enthusiasm, making me strengthen my weary spirit.

I know it sounds so cheap and cliche, but I could never have done this without all your support. I mean it. I know the blog has been terribly quiet since I've been 100% focused on finishing Book One, on accomplishing exactly this: submitting the game. But all the likes on my progress update posts, all the comments and reblogs, and the supportive asks. It all meant so much.

I've said before how writing can be so incredibly lonely, but you have all made it that it wasn't. Somehow, by some miracle, it really wasn't.

So, thank you. Thank you so very much.

I'll have a few moments of rest in the shade, allow my blistering feet to heal for a bit. Maybe listen to the wind rustling the tree leaves, and feel its touch on my heated skin. I'll allow myself to close my eyes and watch the sunlight through the thin layer of my eyelids. I'll rest this burden for a while. Just a little while.

Because I've been dreaming of Book 2, and I feel its pull. So I'll take a rest. I'll take a respite. Before straightening up and continue on that road that goes forever forward, chasing the impossible line of the horizon.

Have a great weekend everyone! 🌹

940 notes • Posted 2021-07-30 21:11:54 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#What a trip down memory land!!#This is fun #Put the posts under the read more because it's a lot of text #Hope it's not annoying^^

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the-marauders-enthusiast · 4 years ago

Text

I’ve Fallen in Love With My Best Friend - James P. x Reader

Pairing: James Potter x Reader

Word count: 1.6k

Summary: There’s an Amortentia lesson in Potions one day, and y/n feels confident that her best friend and crush, James Potter, didn’t like her back, as he has his heart reserved for Lily Evans. James also believes he’s in love with Lily, but things change when he smells someone else in the Amortentia.

Walking into Professor Slughorn's class, you noticed the other students were perked up, excited for the lesson. You sat down, confused, until you saw the potion on Slughorn's desk, which you immediately noticed was Amortentia. Like your other classmates, you also felt eager for the lesson to start.

Suddenly you heard some people stumble into the room, instantly recognizing them as your best friends, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. You smiled at James, seeing him scan his eyes around the room to find you. You waved your hand, calling him over to sit next to you. He grinned and walked over to the desk, sitting in the seat. "Good morning y/n!" he greeted kindly. He then looked around the classroom, his face morphing to a confused look when he noticed the buzzing excitement in the room. "Why is everyone so chipper today?" he asked. You then pointed at the potion on Slughorn's desk, "I'm guessing we're doing a lesson on Amortentia today." He was about to ask was Amortentia was, but was interrupted when Slughorn started talking.

"Good morning class, today we will be learning about Amortentia! Now, does anyone know what that is?" He questioned. You raised your hand quickly, and smiled when he called on you. "Amortentia is known as the world's most powerful love potion, and smells different to each person, as it's supposed to smell like whatever you love most."

"Perfect Ms. y/l/n! 10 points to y/h." you grinned proudly. You then heard Sirius' voice behind you, "Well I don't think prongs needs to smell it, we all know what it's gonna be!" He teased, James saying a lighthearted "shut up!" in return.

You knew what Sirius was talking about, of course. It was common knowledge that James was head over heels for Lily Evans, how could he not? In your eyes, she was everything that you wanted to be. Lily was gorgeous, popular, but most of all, she had James' attention. You've been in love with James about the same amount of time hes been in love with lily, and it hurt. It hurt being in love with someone who was so painfully obviously in love with someone else. Suddenly you weren't as excited for the lesson as you were before, as you weren't exactly thrilled to hear James talk about Lily's scent in the potion.

Slughorn started to call people up to smell the potion, and you waited your turn, watching them quickly walk to the desk when their name was called.

"Ms. y/l/n?" You snapped your head up. Everyone's eyes were suddenly on you, although the only ones that mattered were the hazel ones staring next to you. You started to get nervous, walking to the potion on the desk. Once there, you smelled the mixture.

broomstick polish, cologne, and freshly cut grass.

You rolled your eyes smiling, you had very clearly smelt one James Fleamont Potter. what a shocker, you thought. You gave a quick thanks to Professor Slughorn and sat back down, too embarrassed to share what you smelt with the class.

a few people went after you, and then James was called up. He smiled as the other marauders teased him. He confidently walked to the potion, grinning widely. Looking very sure of himself, he swiftly smelt the Amortentia. Then he suddenly had a puzzled expression on his face, quickly shifting to a frown. You started to feel worried as he nodded at Slughorn and quickly walked back to his seat. You instantly turned to him, "James are you okay?". His eyes widened dramatically, "What? oh yeah, I'm fine.", he replied quickly, avoiding your eyes. You frowned and turned back to the class.

When the lesson ended he practically ran out of the room, the other pranksters following quickly, looking ready for an interrogation. You just stared at the seat he was just sitting at, wondering what could have happened for him to act like that.

After that potions lesson, James had started avoiding you. Hed constantly make sure he didn't run into you, avoid your eye contact, sit far away from you at all times, and practically pretend you didn't exist. Any time you tried to talk to him, he would just brush you off, giving some lame excuse. It was as if the two of you had never been friends.

- "Hey James, do you wanna go to Hogsmeade this weekend with the others?"

"Sorry, I need to catch up on homework."

- " James! Wanna go to the library together after class?"

"I already have plans, sorry y/n."

- "Hey wanna go to the Quidditch pitch and practice?"

"Uh sorry y/n, maybe another time."

After a couple weeks of the neglect, your concern and confusion had turned into anger. What had you done to make him avoid you? And why couldn't he just talk to you about it? At this point, you had gotten fed up. You were walking to the Great Hall for dinner, and saw your friends about to walk in. Before a certain stag could enter, you grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back to face you.

"Oi! What are you- y/n!" He had a panicked expression, not expecting you to be the one who pulled him back. You made sure the other marauders were gone before dragging James to an empty corridor.

"What's your problem!" he asked exasperatedly, which made you scowl angrily.

"My problem?! You're the problem you idiot!"

He frowned, about to defend himself but you stopped him before he could.

"You've been avoiding me like the plague for weeks!"

"No I have-"

"Don't even try to deny it! I thought we were friends James."

"We are friends!"

"Then why have you been pretending like i dont exist!?" You shouted, feeling all of your anger bubble to the surface. James raised his eyebrows, shocked at the anger in your voice. you felt tears start to brim your eyes, "...is it me? Did i do something wrong?" Your voice had lowered, filled with fear, and you felt a tear roll down your face.

His gaze softened, "No, y/n, its not you", He said reassuringly. You felt more tears fall onto your cheeks.

"It just feels like I'm losing you James." You looked down at your feet. He lifted your chin to make you look up at him. "You could never lose me, y/n", he said with a pained expression.

Your brows threaded together, "Then whats wrong? Why haven't you been talking to me?"

He's silent for a few moments before finally finding the words.

"...I was scared", He whispered.

You frowned, "Of what?"

"My feelings. I've been so confused-"

"James i don't understand-"

"Please, just let me explain", he said nervously. You nodded, letting him continue.

"..For so long.. I thought it was Lily. I thought she was the one for me. I've been chasing after her for so long.. I was so sure that she was it for me. And then that Amortentia lesson happened. I was so confident it would smell like her.. but it didnt", he looked down and twiddled his thumbs, "It was you."

Your eyes widened, "James-"

"Just listen. I smelled you in the Amortentia. And for days after I was so confused about my feelings - feelings for Lily and for you. But the more I thought about it the more it made sense, and i started realizing how i truly feel. I used Lily as a distraction from the one person I actually loved, because I didn't know how to deal with those feelings. Because the truth is, I didn't know how to deal with the fact that I had fallen in love with my best friend... I love you y/n. It's always been you." He wore a pained expression, "And im so, so sorry i didnt realize it sooner."

You stared at him in surprise, well that's definitley not what I thought he was gonna say.

He grew worried at your silence, "Please say something." He pleaded, which seemed to pull you out of your stupor.

"Broomstick polish, cologne, and freshly cut grass", you stated.

He squinted in confusion, "What?"

"That's what I smelled in the Amortentia.. It smelled like you." He opened his mouth in surprise and you continued, "I love you James. I've loved you for so long, and I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear you say you feel the same way."

James' face brightened, and he pulled you into a bone crushing hug. When he pulled away from it, you noticed how close his face had gotten to yours, and it seemed james did too. He slowly moved his hand to grasp the side of your face, body moving closer as he placed his other hand on your waist.

"Can i kiss you?" He whispered.

You nodded, feeling heat rising up your neck and closing your eyes in anticipation. You felt his face inch closer, and he softy placed his lips on yours. Your hands immediately threaded through his dark curls, and you kiss him harder. You feel him pushing you back against the wall, the hand on your cheek moving down to your collarbone.

The kiss started to get a little more heated, but then you hear a voice across the corridor, causing you and James to separate and look toward the source of the noise.

"Ah! So dinner and a show!" Sirius laughed, Remus and Peter chuckling next to him.

"Oi, shove off" James says, smiling at them.

"But seriously, we're glad to see you too catching up again." Remus added.

"Thank you guys", you say fondly.

You look back at James, "I'm glad too.” you grinned at him softly before looking back at the group, “Alright can we go to the Great Hall now, I'm starving."

Sirius chuckles, "I didn't think you'd be hungry after eating eachother's faces off"

"Shove it padfoot."

#marauder #hp marauders #young marauders #james potter #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #remus lupin #sirius black #harry potter #harry potter x y/n

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years ago

Text

Not bad at all.

FRANCISCO ‘CATFISH’ MORALES. ┃ TRIPLE FRONTIER.

❝ request by @chibsytelford: Heyo. What about reader being very shy around Frankie on the first date, who's also shy, and one of them just cracks a joke and they just laugh and laugh and the ice is broken, and they have the best date. ❤ Thank you.

❝ words: about 1.9k.

❝ a / n: first time writing for Frankie! I'm really excited and I hope you all enjoy it.

Gif credits to the author.

“Santiago García, I swear that if you stand me up, I'm gonn—”.

“(Y/N)?”

Your blood freezes at the call as your eyes go wide, keeping the phone in your ear as you spin around with a forced and ashamed smile on your lips, you feel your knees weak watching Frankie some steps away from you with both hands inside the red and black flannel jacket. Son of a bitch. Hanging up the call —or better said, the voicemail— the two of you come closer to each other.

“What 'you doing here?”

As the question comes out of his mouth, there's an awkward moment where you don't know if you should greet with a kiss on your cheek or hugging, being a mix of both that makes you giggle.

“Well, uh… It was supposed I'd have dinner with Santi, but… he hasn't shown yet”. You reply puckering your lips, noticing the change in his gesture. “I've been waiting for the last twenty minutes and I'm really hungry”.

You can't help but frown watching him rub the back of his neck, slightly moving the hat covering his softs curls. Squinting at him you don't really need Frankie to speak to know what's happening. You can feel your face and the tip of your ears burning because of the embarrassment. Last week you confessed to your best friend the things you were starting to feel for Fish and he has decided to force you to take a step ahead.

And seems like Santiago has done the same with him. But, does it mean he feels something for you too? You sigh rubbing your face trying to calm down the heat covering your skin, while he babbles random words. You see him waving a trembling hand between the two of you, perceiving he's as nervous as you are. That causes you to curve your lips up with a soft funny smile.

“Listen, we don't have to do this if you don't want to. I— I— I… shit”. He ends up grunting stroking his lips and his chin passing his palm over them, putting his terrified dark chocolate eyes from you. Frankie looks like a pudding and you can swear it's the sweetest thing you have ever contemplated. Too captivated by the way he has to raise his black hat from his head to brush his hair using only three fingers, before putting it on again, he takes your silence like a negative. “Lemme walk you home at least”.

His beg throws you back to reality, finding an insecure gaze looking for a positive this time. It's the first time since you met him two years ago that you watch him doubting, feeling unsure of himself. He has always given you the impression of being a cool-headed and confident man, but now Fish is quite the opposite.

“I'm hungry tho”. You reply as soon as you can react. “I just… think he did it on purpose. Making me wait for dinner, you know… So I wouldn't say no”.

Santi knows pretty well how to play his cards. It is his specialty. But that hasn't sound how you were expecting, as Frankie continues feeling ashamed, probably misunderstanding you.

“I me— mean, I wouldn't say no anyway”. You confess with a soft whisper, bowing your gaze down to his boots for a second. A brief second that seems enough to offer you a hand without noticing it.

Your heart races with the deep belief it could fly off from your chest when your cold fingers get laced with his warm ones. An electrifying shiver roams your body from your tiptoes to the top of your head, as he secures your hands together to come inside the restaurant. Only like a gentleman would do, he keeps open the door for you to walk in first, not loosening your connection at any time. For an instant, you can't help but fantasize about having real dates with Frankie, with him falling for you while continuing to believe he's just being polite and compensating you for Pope's ambush.

You lead your steps through the hallway between tables with old couches just in like the fifties, till the end of the place with the last table free close to the large window from where you can see the street. That's when, much to your regret, your hands are separated to take a seat in front of the other, occupying yours then with the menu to calm the nervousness shaking them briefly. You're going to kill Santi tomorrow. How does he dare to play dirty to you? And poor Frankie who —probably— could have a better plan than having dinner with you, if it wasn't for his friend.

The silence is installed soon around your table after the drinks are served, feeling the tension in the environment while you continue not knowing what to say or how to break the ice. You're about to tell him that he doesn't have to stay, just like he has said a couple of minutes before, but when you open your mouth nothing comes out; totally enraptured on the way he's looking at you waiting for something. You can't help but force another smile pursing your lips shamefacedly. Putting down your eyes over the menu between your hands, you try to pretend you're actually reading it, but your mind is busier on how the simple touch of his hand stole the air from your lungs.

“Pope told me you're learning Spanish”.

You have to hide your face for a second, cursing your damn best friend in silence before sticking your head out of the carte nodding with your cheek.

“Why?” Frankie sounds so curious that makes you think he maybe knows the real and main reason.

“Oh, uh… expand knowledge”.

You're a terrible liar and he doesn't need to be a genius to notice it.

“Tell me something in Spanish”. He asks cockily, placing his arms over his backrest.

You chuckle shaking your head this time while saying no once and once. But when he leans over the table, forearms against the edge of it, you have to gulp before choking on your own saliva like an idiot. The heat invading your whole anatomy again causes you to lick your lips, hoping that gesture calms you somehow.

“There's a… sentence that… I find funny for some re— reason”.

“Okay… Go'head”.

You make a short pause, finding some encouragement to utter it by remembering why you started to learn it. To impress him. To talk with him and call his attention.

“Juan come manzanas”.

(Juan eats apples).

Your accent is horrible, that's a fact, you knew that; but you feel more embarrassed when he remains silent for a second, breaking into a burst of loud laughter after not being able to contain it. You can't avoid a chuckle either, leaving in the background your shame, to focus on the beautiful melody his laugh is. You could spend all your life listening to it without abhorring it.

“Your pronunciation is awful”. He giggles adjusting his hat, raising a little the visor to look you better.

“Woah, thank you”. You reply with a humorous grimace drawn on your lips and a light sarcasm in your tone of voice. “I really appreciate it coming from you”.

“You're welcome”.

Shaking your head you begin to feel somewhat relaxed, finding a topic to talk about and joke about it so this situation is less awkward. You grab your beer to have a sip whilst he continues keeping visual contact with you, noticing he wants to add something but he doesn't dare. You know what it is, tilting your head as your eyes are narrowed.

“I don't trust you to be my teacher, surely you'll teach me the wrong things to make fun of me”.

“Meh…” He replies waving a hand jokingly, causing you to chuckle again.

As the night goes on and you discover more interesting things about him and his stage in the army, the dinner comes to an end and he insists you to walk you home. He doesn't want either to finish your conversation, talking about everything and nothing, in reality, just enjoying your voice and how excited you sound while talking about one of your hobbies or your favorite tv show. Just like you, he couldn't get tired of your company.

You reach your house sooner than expected, having been entertained and feeling this time your way back home has become shorter than ever. The nerves kick you again standing close to your porch not knowing what to say, what to do, or offer him a last drink. You'd sell your soul to the devil for five minutes more, but maybe you need to take it easy.

“Thanks for walking me”. You utter in a thin voice thread, playing with the keys between your fingers.

“It's been a good night”. Frankie opines then keeping a hand in a pocket and using the other to scratch a side of his neck. “I mean… we can repeat it whenever you want”.

Like another date? Has it been a date, actually? Or just two friends hanging out?

“Yeah! Yeah, sure. Sounds good to me”. You nod an instant before letting go a soft sight. “Uh… I should… you know”.

“Yeah, 'course. Good night, (Y/N)”.

“Good night, Fish”.

Offering him one last smile, you turn around to go upstairs your porch straight to the front door. But as soon as you introduce the key in the lock, you're interrupted.

“Hey!” You face him again, curious and intrigued, watching him coming closer towards you with his hat now in a hand. “How bad would be if… I kiss you?”

That's the most unexpected question you have ever heard, causing your brain to collapse momentarily until you realize it hasn't been a figment of your imagination. The smirk on his face curves shyly in the right corner of his lips, stopping his feet not too far from yours.

“Not… bad at all”. You giggle in response. What else could you say?

His mouth meets yours with a soft sweet touch. Just a touch, until they get used to each other. Slowly, Frankie places his hands on your lower back seeming afraid if you suddenly decide it's a terrible idea, and take a step back. This feeling disappears when yours land on both sides of his neck, securing a little more the grip and shortening the small distance between your chests. He tastes like beer and chocolate, after sharing a piece of brownie like dessert. For you, Frankie tastes like heaven. And without planning it, he needs the urge to slide his tongue between your lips to find yours. By inertia, your fingers tour his skin till being gently nailed in the back of his neck, breathing through your nose not wanting to finish the kiss.

As both of you swirl your tongues around the other, you become a little addicted, almost moaning inevitably against his lips when you have to stop not having enough air filling your lungs.

“How bad would it be if I ask you to stay?” You murmur unable to believe what you have just said.

“Not bad at all”. He doesn't hesitate, caressing the tip of your nose with his, wrapping his arms around your waist to hold you tighter and pepper your lips as you try to open the front door.

If you’ve liked it, lemme know in a comment, I’d really appreciate it. Reblogs are welcome too, so more people can enjoy it! ✨

GENERAL TAG LIST: @mayans-sauce @peoniarose @destynelseclipsa @band-psycho @myakai13 @petlaufeyson @-im-fantastic- @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @rocketqueen @rosieposie0624 @ellyseveronica @Jessprins13 @diaryofkali @ravenmoore14 @starrynite7114 @kenbechillin @miahelen @monkeyluver4546 @sheeshgivemeabreak @jadesamhart @rawrlittlepanda-95

TRIPLE FRONTIER: @phoenixhalliwell @goldielocks2004

#francisco catfish morales #frankie catfish morales #frankie morales x you #frankie morales x reader #francisco 'catfish' morales #francisco morales #frankie morales #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n

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marvelbbyx · 4 years ago

Text

Can I Be Him? (Carol Danvers x Fem! Reader)

Summary: You and Carol have been the bestest of friends for years and years, to you it’s simply platonic. Whereas for Carol, she tortures herself constantly pining after you. The situation only gets worse when you get engaged to your boyfriend of three years and Carol has to leave for a mission (that could more or less take her six years to get back from).

The day before Carol has to leave, she admits her feelings for you, giving you two choices: to leave him and go with her or stay with him and get married.

Who will you choose and what will be your outcome?

Author’s Note: Yeah, I’m gonna make this a two parter lol since I wanna be dramatic. But stay tuned for tomorrow’s add on! 😁

Fic inspired by James Arthur’s song Can I Be Him? Which was 1000% the reason I wrote this.

Warnings! ANGST

Part Two Here!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked into the room and now my heart has been stolen.

You took me back in time to when I was unbroken.

Now you're all I want.

And I knew it from the very first moment,

'Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Carol, stop! You’re cheating!” You shriek as her Mortal Kombat character starts to pummel yours into a bloody pulp.

“How is it that you’re the one that taught me this game, yet��I’m kicking your ass.” The blonde says with a cocky smirk. “Guess you just suck.”

“Or my controller’s stuck.” You shot back.

“Yeah, okay,” She rolled her eyes playfully.

You two were at your apartment, it was your day off and you wanted nothing more than to relax at home, Carol just happened to sweeten the deal with a case of beer and some pizza.

The Captain and the Avenger, or as the others like to call you—Bert and Ernie. You and Carol were about as thick as thieves and you were never really seen without each other hardly ANYWHERE around the compound. It all started when Carol had been assigned a partner to accompany her on a mission to The Garden back in 2018. Everyone swore that you two wouldn’t get along, with your ability to plan ahead and Carol’s ability to...not plan ahead it was bound to be a recipe for disaster. But after a few jokes here and there and a battle later on you two became inseparable.

Nothing could shake or disrupt the bond that you two had, all except for one thing...him.

Carol had beaten you three times in the past five minutes, she offered a final round after noticing your frustration only to win again within seconds.

“Well, well, well,” Carol throws her arms behind her head. “What’s my score again, four? And what’s yours, zip?”

The playful challenge in her gaze stirred your competitive edge, the one that hated to lose and absolutely hated being out of control. Especially in the game of your choosing.

You cross your arms over your chest and pouted like a child, “It’s only because you cheated.” You huffed.

“Yeah, keep on telling yourself that, babe. Don’t be mad because you’re a sore loser.” She teased.

“Re-Match then.” You challenged with a grin. “If I win, you’ll do whatever I say. Same thing goes if you win.”

Carol’s brows lift up in intrigue, “Oh yeah? Like what?”

“That’s something we’ll have to figure out on our own time.” You say. You extend your hand out for Carol to shake. “So, do we have a deal, Danvers?”

She takes your hand, shaking it firmly. “We do.”

Her grip on your hand lingers longer than she meant to, yours were baby soft compared to hers, each callus and dry patch were a layout of her life, each held a story and meaning.

You slid your hand out from her grasp when you heard the door open and shut. You turned your head in the direction of the approaching footsteps, a smile forms on your lips when you hear, “Sweetheart? I’m home!”

“Hi, honey!” You call out.

Kevin Davis, your boyfriend of three years. A man as sweet as they came, someone that would move Heaven and Earth for you. He was a doctor helping out at the compound and you just so happened to come back from a mission with some severe battle damage. Long story short, you two fell in love and moved in together.

Carol forces her best smile before her eyes met with your boyfriend’s. “Hey, Kevin.”

“Hey, Car.” He greets with a small smile.

Carol hated that nickname. Much more than she hated him.

Not that he was a bad guy. Kevin was actually a great guy, always able to help out and very friendly. She didn’t hate him for that though, she hated how you would look at him when he told a joke or how your eyes would light up when you talked about him. But what Carol had hated most of all...was that it wasn’t her.

A portion of her heart dies as she sees you stand up to kiss him, you two talked and acted as if she wasn’t there, which made her want to scream and cry until her throat went raw. These feelings began the first time she met you. After the Snap, everyone was expected to mourn and remember the loved ones who vanished. Carol was dealing with losing a loved one as well. Her best friend, her rock, and the only family she had, Maria Rambeau, who had passed away from cancer.

You were there when she went and comforted her immediately after. Your bond strengthened since that day, as well as Carol’s feelings for you.

“I should be heading out,” Carol drew herself to her feet. “I gotta get up early for a meeting.”

“No, Carol you don’t have to leave, we can continue our game.” You tried to convince her.

‘I’d rather chew on barbed wire than to be in the same room with him.’

But instead of saying that, she bites her tongue and simply shakes her head. “It’s okay, Y/N, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

You gave a soft smile. “Okay.”

“Bye, Kevin.” The words produced the taste of bile to spread on her tongue.

“Bye, Carol.” Kevin says with his unrelenting smile.

Carol manages to make it to the car before she bursts into violent tears.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I swear that every word you sing, you wrote them for me.

Like it was a private show, I know you never saw me.

When the lights come on and I'm on my own,

Will you be there to sing it again?

Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?

Can I be him?

I heard there was someone but I know he don't deserve you.

If you were mine I'd never let anyone hurt you, no, no.

I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips.

It's all that I've been thinking about.

'Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Six years.

Six years on recon for a planet held hostage by some alien heretics, a distress call was sent and Carol was the only one who had answered. Six years and a million light years away from Earth, and a million light years away from you.

Carol had to leave early the next morning and wouldn’t have the chance to say goodbye to you before she left. So she decided to head over to your apartment for the re-match, once there; she found saying goodbye to be much more difficult than anticipated. Especially when you would greet her with such a smile that was now burned into her memory.

She tried not to think about it at all while you were playing the game, she tried not think of anything while playing.

“How are you beating me again?” You cried in disbelief watching Carol’s character slice yours in three parts.

“I told you I was good, you just didn’t believe me.” She smiles smugly. “Looks like I’m gonna win the bet.”

“You can try,” You challenged as you poked your tongue out at her.

Carol regained her focus back to the video game, having you on the ropes and your character’s life bar hanging on by a thread. It wasn’t until you lifted your left hand to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear that she caught glimpse of the gold engagement ring practically beaming up at her.

That was when she paused the game.

You gave a puzzled look. “What’d you do that for?”

Instead of answering you she stood up quickly, turning her back to you as she tried to fight the tears that threatened to slip down her cheeks. Engaged, how could you be engaged? And why with him?

“Carol?” You called softly.

“You weren’t gonna tell me...about the ring?” She asks, doing her best to hold off on crying.

Your eyes dart down to the gold band on your finger, fiddling with it gently. You yourself were quite shocked about it, the second that Carol left was when Kevin had proposed to you.

“I didn’t know how to say it,” You murmur. “I wanted to tell you first before I told everyone else.”

“So you decided to wear it and hope that I’d notice?” She chuckles.

“I was gonna talk to you after the game, ya know...if you hadn’t paused it.” You say as you awaited some form of a retort from your best friend, only to get no response. “Are you okay?”

Carol remained quiet for a few minutes, allowing the warm streams of water to fall down her cheeks. Burning as they did. Before you had the chance to ask again, Carol’s lips part to speak, the tears evident in her voice, “Why’d you say yes?”

“What?” You blinked up at her. “What do you mean?”

“I’m asking why him?” Her lip trembles.

“And I’m asking what brought this up?” You retort. “Because you’ve never said anything about this before and...and I don’t understand why now?”

She sighs before turning to you, her eyes pink and swollen. “Why now?”

You nod.

“Because I loved you since the beginning but I didn’t know it yet, and I especially didn’t know that it would hurt to love you this much.” Carol tells you, crying harder. “Especially when you talk about him.”

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” Your throat constricted as unshed tears stung your eyes. “Waiting until now to say something doesn’t change anything, Carol. You can’t just—“

“I’m leaving for a mission tomorrow,” She says abruptly. “...for six years.”

The words that formed on your tongue evaporated instantly, gazing up at her with quiet intensity. “When we’re you going to tell me?”

“Today.” She replies.

“And that was supposed to soften the blow?”

“I thought—“

“No,” It was your turn to cut her off. “You can’t just drop a bomb on me like this.”

“You’re one to talk, when were you going to tell me that you were engaged?” She shot back, your silence being the response that she needed. “I thought so.”

You fiddled with your ring again, the band was heavy now feeling as if it would constrict your finger. “I loved you too...from the start, and I still do. I waited for you—to step in at any moment. I pushed Kevin away multiple times because you’re the one that I wanted. And...I still want you. Only you, Carol. If you would’ve said something then I wouldn’t be engaged. But now it’s too late.”

“Come with me,” She cried. “Please...”

You shake your head slowly, your tears flowing down your cheeks with haste. “I can’t—“

“Yes, you can. Leave him. Leave him and...and come with me. Please, Y/N.” Carol begged. “You say it’s too late but you still have time. We still have time. Come with me...please.”

“Carol, I—“

And before you were able to finish your answer, the door opened and Kevin walked in, “Hi, baby! I’m home!”

“Hi, honey.” You reply quietly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To be continued....👀

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list: @captains-simp

If anyone else would like to be tagged just let me know! ☺️

#brie larson #captain marvel #carol danvers #carol danvers x reader #carol danvers imagine #carol danvers angst

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beautifulterriblequeen · 4 years ago

Note

I've been thinking about your Ruthari angst prompts and idk if that's even allowed 😅 but what do you think about a mixture of 3 and 11? 👀

Okay, so I wanted to play with the arranged marriage au for a bit, and these two lines landed like they might be part of negotiations. So here you go:

“What would you do if I didn’t come back?” and “How am I supposed to go on?”

“What would you do if I didn’t come back?” Runaan paced slowly at Ethari’s side as they circled the fog-shrouded gardens of the Silvergrove Council House for the seventh time, matching the craftsman’s easy amble. The assassin had begun their negotiations with his hands clasped behind his back as they trod the well-worn path just inside the pale filigree wall that ringed the grounds. Now they hung loose at his sides, after over an hour of conversation that gradually found its rhythm. Ethari was surprisingly easy to converse with, so far. Runaan wasn’t certain he really approved of the taller elf’s playful mindset, but his easy forgiveness and acceptance had soothed away a lot of Runaan’s initial worries.

Runaan kept his face carefully forward as they walked, not wishing to indicate any weakness by glancing Ethari’s way too often, but he kept Ethari’s boots in the corner of his eye so he didn’t walk too fast and leave him behind.

I could. I could leave him behind. I’m faster, stronger. But my life has never been mine to direct. It belongs to Xadia. And so does my heart. Runaan took a slow breath as Ethari thoughtfully contemplated his reply, nibbling at his lip. My heart for Xadia. So, my heart for Ethari, as much as I can manage it.

“I suppose,” Ethari began slowly, “I would do whatever the council wished me to do.”

That was the best answer Runaan could have expected. Ethari had a deep sense of duty that overrode his personal feelings, just as Runaan did. Another thread of tension loosened in his shoulders. No one understood duty like an assassin, but the council had selected Ethari from among all the eligible craftsmen in the Silvergrove. He was the best they could find. But Runaan was the one who’d marry him, and he needed to be sure, too. And now, to his relief, he was sure. Ethari was willing to do his duty, no matter what.

Good. He’ll need that as much as I do.

“Would they make me marry the next assassin leader, too, do you suppose?” Ethari continued. He looked further ahead on their circular path, as if he could see such a dark future already looming.

Runaan blinked in surprise. He shifted himself out of the equation--an easy habit of long practice--and considered the idea. “It depends on what sort of match we have, I think.”

“How do you mean?” Ethari’s voice was carefully distant, unwilling to give any indication of interest either way.

Runaan pouted thoughtfully. “Well, if we match well in skill, if your crafting is of high quality and I perform admirably with your weapons, then the council will be inclined to match you with another assassin so you can continue to perform your valuable services.”

“Hmm.”

Runaan glanced over from beneath a single raised brow at Ethari’s noncommittal noise. “You don’t agree?”

“Does the council take feelings into consideration in situations like that?” Ethari asked.

“Feelings?” Runaan scoffed lightly. Feelings never protected anyone from anything. They were more likely to cause chaos than bring order.

Ethari shot him an uncertain glance. “Yes, feelings. What if...?” He looked away abruptly.

“You worry they would match you with a woman?” Runaan guessed.

A tiny smile flickered at the corner of Ethari’s lips and vanished. “That wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Oh. What, then?”

Ethari glanced across the gardens, to where the lacy arches of the Council House faded into the mist. “Can I ask you for a favor, Runaan?”

Runaan’s spine straightened. A personal request from his intended? This was the sort of thing he would be expected to agree to, wasn’t it? They were to be partners, allies, for the protection of Xadia and the Silvergrove. But soft subjects were merely practice for the important things. That was Runaan’s takeaway after Tiadrin sat him down and gave him a thorough talking-to, anyway. “Of course,” he responded. He had no idea what to expect, but he was intensely curious what could prompt Ethari to ask for a personal boon just then. “Anything you like.”

The craftsman’s eyes scanned the foggy garden until he spotted something that met with his approval. He held out a broad-palmed hand toward Runaan. “Will you come with me for a moment?”

Runaan stilled, studying the outstretched hand so easily offered. I suppose I should get used to this elf’s touch sooner rather than later, he reasoned. Slowly, he placed his gloved hand in Ethari’s, resting it there as lightly as a landing bird.

Ethari grinned warmly and gave Runaan’s hand a gentle squeeze. Then he towed him past a couple of short fruit trees that were just budding their spring leaves, until they were entirely hidden from sight, against the outer wall of the gardens. He pulled Runaan to face him and gave him a secretive smile. “Here, this’ll do.”

Runaan glanced around uncertainly. “For what?”

Ethari glanced down, suddenly bashful. “I, I thought we should kiss. To get used to it. They’ll expect it of us in public from time to time.”

Runaan’s brows lowered. “We don’t have to kiss.”

Ethari’s shoulders slumped a little. “Do you mean right now, or... ever...?”

Runaan’s expression tightened as he struggled with these unfamiliar notions Ethari was creating in him. “We are to be wed for the good of the SIlvergrove, Ethari. You are a craftsman of immense skill, and I am to become the leader of the assassins. Our union will stabilize the chaos of the past few years and ensure a brighter future for everyone. Kissing...” Runaan shook his head slowly, baffled. “Kissing doesn’t enter into it.”

“Kissing doesn’t--?” Ethari blurted. “Runaan...”

Perplexed at Ethari’s sudden outburst, the assassin took a moment to look him up and down, seeking some reason for his intense reaction. But he saw only a tall, frustrated craftsman before him, clearly in on some secret Runaan did not possess. It seemed he’d have to ask out loud for it. “What?”

“You fool.” Ethari’s hands were on his cheeks in a heartbeat, pulling him closer. Runaan’s sound of protest was trapped in his mouth as Ethari’s lips found his, hard and urgent, driving him back against the garden wall. Runaan backed into it with enough force to draw a grunt from his chest.

Ethari chased him there, pressing himself flush against Runaan, pinning him with writhing eagerness. At the sound of Runaan’s grunt, he let out a low, grinding moan to match, sieving his fingers into the assassin’s hair.

Don’t stab him. Do not stab him. He wouldn’t understand. This is for Xadia. The thought flared red in Runaan’s mind, tangled and fragmented by a truly frightening amount of heated sensations that burst out of nowhere and swarmed him like a cloud of moon moths seeking escape, finding none. What is... what is he doing to me... what is this...

A stifled groan slipped through Runaan’s teeth. Instead of shoving Ethari away as he felt would be proper for such an uninvited assault, Runaan found his hands knotting in Ethari’s shirt and tugging him closer still. He wrapped a leg around Ethari’s ass and snugged their bodies together, lost in the grip of unreasoning neediness.

“Nnngh.” Ethari’s moan nibbled its way along Runaan’s jaw and nipped at the delicate skin beneath his ear. Runaan arched against his lips, tilting his chin up, bucking his hips forward with a soft cry.

Ethari steadied himself with a grip on a swirly amid the pattern in the filigree wall. His other hand teased beneath the lower edge of Runaan’s shirt, and his words rang breathlessly in Runaan’s ear. “Runaan... I’ve always loved you... always... You make me so happy, this is a dream come true...”

“Aah!” Runaan tore himself away and stumbled a couple of steps sideways, panting heavily. His body throbbed in all the best places, his skin was flushed, his pupils blown. But he held out a hand to ward Ethari off. “You tricked the council?” he puffed. “You lied to them?”

Bereft, shocked, Ethari made an abortive reach toward Runaan and then stopped. “What? No!”

“They asked me if I had any attachments.” Runaan’s voice was cold, but why wouldn’t Runaan’s heart settle? It insisted on galloping across the Forest like a wild moonstrider. “I said no, so I was approved for consideration. And it was the truth.”

“I... Runaan, it wasn’t a lie! I’d never told you. There was no attachment to lie about.”

“There was in your heart.”

Baffled, breathless, desperate, Ethari took a step forward with his hands out pleadingly. “How is that a bad thing? I told them nothing of my feelings. I let them decide, for the good of the Silvergrove. And now that it’s decided, I’m telling you the truth! Isn’t that what couples do when they trust each other?”

Runaan’s brows drew down, and he thought searchingly through the wild storm of his feelings, seeking the hard edges of something reliable. Ah. There. He tucked his hands behind his back--the better to keep them off this deceptively charming elf before him--and straightened up into a formal assassin pose. “That’s just it, Ethari. I don’t trust you. We don’t know each other that well. And we’re not a couple. We’re a team--or trying to be--serving Xadia first and foremost. And you just admitted that you’re capable of deceiving the whole village council--and me--to get what you want. You told me you’d marry whoever the council paired you with, if I fell, but that’s not true, is it? You’ve put your needs above those of the many. And that, I cannot abide.”

Genuine fear bled across Ethari’s face as Runaan’s words sank in. “Runaan, please don’t... Are you calling this off?” His bottom lip trembled, and he pressed a shaking fist against his mouth. “Please don’t tell me I’ve ruined everything, please, please...” He closed his eyes and stood there, vulnerable, exposed. “You’re right. You’re right. It probably isn’t true. If I lose you to the humans someday, I won’t want to marry another. I just want to be with you. If...” His sunset eyes searched the mists for answers and flew back to meet Runaan’s stern gaze. “If I lose you--later, or right now--how am I supposed to go on?”

Runaan’s jaw worked as he stared at the pleading craftsman. His touch had been electric, dazzling. Runaan craved it again already. But such neediness would be an imbalance that could cost him in a critical moment--and if he fell, then his entire purpose was at risk. His head scrambled for distance even as his heart thrummed with eager heat. “I cannot trust you, Ethari. That must be the base tenet of this relationship, or we cannot serve Xadia as it requires.”

In true distress, Ethari grabbed his own horns and turned away, pacing erratically, muttering “No, no, no” through his teeth. Then he whirled back to face Runaan. “Please, I promise you, I won’t give you any further cause to doubt me. Let me prove myself. I’ll do anything. Just tell me what you need.”

Runaan stalked closer until they stood nose to nose. “I need you to give your heart to Xadia. Not to me.”

“Done,” Ethari blurted. His gaze clung to Runaan’s face, and he trembled with tension, his fate hanging in the balance.

Runaan’s gaze betrayed him, falling for a single moment from those urgent eyes to his intended’s full lips, before snapping back up. He gritted his teeth, tugged his shirt smooth of Ethari’s recent elfhandling, and added roughly, “And don’t you dare kiss me again. You’re lucky I didn’t stab you.”

Ethari looked down. “I’m sorry. It... won’t happen again.” His voice faded to a whisper like a wounded animal crawling into the shadows to die.

“How am I supposed to go on?” Ethari’s words echoed in Runaan’s mind, and he relented a little. “Wait. This is to be an alliance. I must consider your feelings, however... misguided, if we are to make this work, yes?” Ethari will make a solid ally, at least. I cannot say the same for every craftsman in the Silvergrove. I may never find an easier or stronger connection than this.

Ethari looked up from beneath his downcast brows, curious but not hopeful. “I suppose so,” he allowed uncertainly.

Runaan nodded decisively. “Then I’ll do the kissing, when it’s appropriate. You were right: they will expect it from time to time. Does this meet with your satisfaction?”

Ethari stared at him for a long moment and sighed dully. “I’ll take it.“

Runaan’s brows drew together. He’d expected Ethari to be delighted, grateful, that Runaan had considered his feelings and made allowances. Wasn’t that how these negotiations were supposed to work? Moon help me, I may just be making this worse... is it too late to take it all back and just let him kiss me again? That was... hnnngh...

Runaan opened his mouth to admit he was wrong, but Ethari spoke first.

“My heart for Xadia.” The craftsman offered his hand again, hesitantly.

Runaan studied that open palm again. Holding hands. A decent compromise in itself. He took it softly and nodded.

Together, hand in hand and worlds apart, the betrothed elves made their way through the mists to the Council House. For Xadia.

#ruthari angst #tdp angst #ruthari arranged marriage au #runaan #ethari #ruthari #my writing #tdp ficlet #tdp fanfic #HI HELLO WOW THIS IS ANGSTY AND I KIND OF LOVE IT #THE PINING GUYS THE PINING #RUNAAN SLOWLY FALLING IN LOVE #AND NOT WILLING TO ADMIT IT #ETHARI FEELING UNLOVED AND BEING SO SO WRONG #HELP MEEEEE

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lavaffair · 4 years ago

Text

A secret santa fic for my secret santa @ideasthatbuildcities! Pregnant Kagome and inugang on Christmas! @inusecretsanta @iyfss

I hope you like it! I had so much fun writing this. Happy Holidays :)

Read it on AO3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/28332135

or read below!

***

Thursday, December 24. Christmas Eve. 2:00 PM

“Hello.” sang the soft and comforting voice behind the phone.

“Mama!” Kagome greeted excitedly, “I finished it.” She placed her phone between her shoulder and ear, cranking her neck to the side just to look at her creation.

“Just in time too! Was it easier to finish after I helped?” Her mother asked curiously. Kagome smiled, beaming at the bundle of fabric in her hands happily.

“It definitely was mama. Who knew sewing a little fire rat robe would be so difficult?” She placed the red robe back onto the table and held her phone to her ear again. Noticing the slight soreness coming from her neck she rubbed it with her hand. While working on the robe she would absentmindedly tilt her neck to the right and keep it in that position for a long time.

“Hmm. Although it may not be made by the same materials as Inuyasha’s I believe the difficulty to make both versions is the same.” Her mother laughed lightly, “But I’m sure it came out great! You need to send me a picture before you bag it, dear.” Kagome could hear her mother fumbling in the kitchen with what she could only assume was tea. It was past time for breakfast, and still too early for lunch. She knew both her mother and grandfather would be drinking some tea around this time like they did every day.

“It’s almost identical! I am glad he keeps it in our closet. Easier for me to borrow it and to put it back where it was.” Kagome placed her mother on speaker and opened her camera app. Her mother was preoccupied with handing her grandfather his cup of tea, which allowed her to snap a few photos of the mini fire rat robe.

Happy with the way her photos looked, Kagome bunched them all in one message and sent them to her mother. A wispy chime came from her mother's phone echoed into her ear and she heard a loud gasp.

"Kagome! He's going to love it!" The crack in her mother’s voice could not be hidden which caused tears to prick into Kagome's eyes. "I can't believe you made me a grandmother, although I knew it would happen one day. Now for Inuyasha... he isn't going to believe he's going to be a father." Kagome wiped the stray tears falling from her eyes and was eternally grateful that Inuyasha was out with Miroku at the moment. He never likes it when she cries, and he always tries to get to the bottom of the situation so he can mend it. Whether he caused her to cry or it was an outside source, Inuyasha would do his best to comfort his wife.

"He won’t believe it but he's going to be the best father ever." Kagome sniffled as she continued to catch her tears. "He's been on his feet the last week checking up on me because I've been so emotional." It was particularly difficult to hide her excitement on learning she was going to be a mom. Inuyasha's nose is sensitive thanks to his demon blood, and he has been concerned for his wife. For the last month Kagome's been moodier as she has caught herself getting upset at things that never bothered her before. As the days went on, she started feeling sick in the mornings and had to take off running towards her bathroom with her husband right behind her.

At the time, Kagome was beginning to have her suspicions, but she was not ready to fully think about it yet. Her thoughts would linger on the possibility of her being pregnant, and in turn her anxiety would flare up. Inuyasha caught every mood swing come off her and he was starting to get frustrated on how useless he felt when he tried to help his wife. When Kagome had brought up her plans to go visit her mother at the shrine for the weekend, Inuyasha perked up immediately and supported her idea all the way. If he could not figure out how to help Kagome, maybe her mother will. Moms knew how to fix almost anything, and Kagome's mom was well known for her skills in parenting. While Kagome went back home for the weekend, Inuyasha stayed home and continued as usual with work and did not suspect anything more. He knew she was going to be in good hands.

"I still can't believe we found out on Saturday." Kagome said in disbelief. A little smile formed at her lips at the memory.

"I still can't believe you were in denial." Her mother teased in good spirits.

The young woman laughed, shaking her head in reply. "I believe it was more fear of the unknown than denial, mama." Her fingers lightly smoothed out the fabric in front of her, "I didn't know what to think." Now finished with her project, Kagome began to put the red thread and needles into the small tin bucket of sewing supplies.

"Meanwhile I knew immediately the minute you showed up." On the other side the phone call, her mother sat down at the table and sipped her tea. Smiling fondly at the memory of the moment they both found out the news. Unbeknownst to her, her daughter was doing the same thing as she cleaned up her work area.

When Kagome had arrived at the shrine that Friday she was weary of how she felt and how to tell her mother. Luckily for her, her mother was as observant as ever and picked up on her daughter immediately. The lack in appetite and the anxiety coming off of her made it easier for her mother to come to her conclusion. It was not until the next morning when she found her daughter heaving into the toilet that her suspicions turned real. Her mother sat her down in her old bedroom and looked at her knowingly.

"Kagome... are you pregnant?" She remembered her mother asking. Their hands were tightly held within each other’s and Kagome knew her mother could feel her shaking.

"I- I don't know? I think I am but... I'm nervous to find out." Kagome admitted. Her voice began to waver from the nerves, and her stomach was flipping into knots. Could she really be pregnant?

Why don't we take a test? Would you like to?" Her mother asked in a soft and reassuring tone. Although Kagome was nervous beyond belief, her mother was helping her feel comfort in the mess of anxiety she was feeling. Hesitantly, she agreed, and they quickly left to the pharmacy to buy the pregnancy tests. They decided to buy four tests, just to be sure there were no duds when she took the tests and they made their way back to the shrine.

Everyone was home when they arrived back, and that only made Kagome more nervous. Her mother squeezed her hand tightly before letting her daughter lock herself in the safety of the bathroom. It was a shaky and uneven experience but Kagome was able to get all four tests done. She opened the door to let her mother in as they patiently waited for the results to show up. Kagome hugged her mother to find comfort, and her mother hugged her and rubbed her back.

As they waited, the nervousness Kagome felt was starting to be replaced with excitement at the thought of the tests being positive. She has always wanted to be a mom and once she met Inuyasha the need only grew more. She knew the two of them would make great parents to their hypothetical children, but she had not expected it to happen around this time. They had been married for almost two years, and they are careful when they have sex but there are days when they both get very carried away. As unexpected as this was for Kagome, she is a little surprised this did not happen sooner.

One minute felt like eternity as two lines began appearing on all four of the tests and Kagome's breath hitched in her throat. She squeezed her mother harder in reaction to the scene in front of her, a huge smile decorating her lips. Both women began laughing from happiness and shock while tears fell freely down both of their faces. They made so much noise that Kagome's brother Sota, and their grandfather came running towards the bathroom in alarm.

"What has happened here!?" Her grandfather asked in alarm. Sota looking confused as well, he peeked into the bathroom and stared in amazement at the four white tests sitting on the bathroom sink.

"No way! Sota exclaimed, his eyes almost bulging from their sockets. Kagome no way! Her brother hopped excitedly.

"What is it Sota?" Asked his grandfather who still did not understand.

"Gramps, you're going to be a great gramps now!" Sota practically yelled in the older mans ear, his mother and sister too busy crying to give either of them a good explanation. Grandpa Higurashi watched as his daughter in law wiped his granddaughter’s cheeks free from tears as his own began to fall.

"Oh, Kagome! He wept with a big smile on his face. "You have made me the happiest grandparent on earth, to be blessed with a grandchild while I am still here with you all!" The older man hugged his crying granddaughter as tightly as he could and happily wept at her shoulder. He had always wanted to be a great grandparent but he had not expected it to happen yet. He knew with his oldest granddaughter there would be a possibility, but he was getting older and weaker as he clung onto his wish.

"Of course you would have a great grandchild, grandpa! You will not be leaving us yet." Kagome sniffled as she hugged her grandfather back, the only other remaining male member of her family. The only other man who resembled her late father so closely, along with her younger brother Sota.

"You excited to be an uncle?" Kagome beamed towards her brother who was now coming in to give her a hug.

He laughed loudly, a hint of nervousness still lingering within him, "My niece or nephew are going to have the best uncle they could ever ask for." He sniffled, "Be ready to raise soccer stars."

Kagome laughed at the fresh memory of her unexpected announcement and felt so lucky to have such a wonderful family by her side. As she placed the tin can back into her supply closet, she went to grab the green holiday bag that would hold the small fire rat robe. "I can't wait to tell him." She squealed with her mother still on the line. She heard her mother laugh and could practically see her beaming with a cup of tea in her hand.

"Tell us about it tomorrow at dinner. I need to know how he and everyone else finds out." Her mother reminded her. "I want to know it all!"

"I promise mama. Inuyasha and I will be there around five tomorrow. I can't wait for dinner either." Kagome folded the red bundle neatly and placed it at the bottom of the bag, just above the single pregnancy test wrapped in tissue paper. She covered the red robe with more tissue paper and hid the little bag underneath her side of their bed. "I'll see you tomorrow mama. Love you."

"I love you too, dear." The call ended, and Kagome was left alone in her bedroom again. Inuaysha would be home soon, and she needed to clear up the scent of her tears so he would not worry when he came home. Some time to air out the house with the windows open should do the trick.

December 25. Christmas Day. 6:00 AM

Kagome and Inuyasha had awoken to a light snowfall in the early morning of Christmas. It was a cold morning and Kagome did not want to get out of her warm bed, much to Inuyasha's complaints. Out of the two of them, Kagome was always the one to sleep in while Inuyasha was the early bird. There were mornings where she could easily convince her husband to sleep in longer with her and cuddle the morning away, while other mornings he would stay in bed with her after a long night of rendezvous. Either way, she loved when he pulled her closer to him to breathe in his scent and feel his natural warmth, something she was desperately missing on this winter day.

The half demon poked his sleeping wife's cheek gently, with just enough pressure to get her attention on him. "Wake up, Kagome!" He loudly whispered, "Everyone's gonna be here in two hours. You hafta get up!" He urged her by continuing to poke her soft and squishy cheek.

His sleeping wife groaned, "Get back in bed… they can wait for us..." She groggily replied. She could feel the pad of his finger poking at her face, the longer he did it the more alert she became. She growled in annoyance at her husbands successful attempts to wake her and she wished her growls could be as terrifying as her husbands were. She freed one hand from the warm confines of their fluffy blanket and slapped his hand away. This only led to further failures as Inuyasha's poking stayed in place since he was much stronger than his sleepy wife.

"Inu..sha... noooooo." His sleeping beauty complained, "Stop ittttt." Her attempts to sound mad were failing, as she could hear herself sound more like a muffled child than an angry woman. She slapped at his hand again but instead was pinned down by her very annoying husband, who had decided to lay his entire body on top of hers.

Kagome opened her eyes and glared at his amber ones who were filled with mischief. "Why." She sounded fully awake now!

Inuyasha laughed at her, "Since ya wanta stay in bed all day when we got people comin', I guess I'll get into bed too and humor ya." He snuggled into her, his arms incasing her head between them as he laid his head into the crook of her neck.

"I can't breathe you know." She laughed, "You wouldn't want to squish your wife would you?" She decided to poke his cheek in retaliation to his earlier actions. She felt him growl at her playfully, his body making hers vibrate along with the sound.

"'Course I don't. I'd rather she get her lazy ass up instead." He teased. He licked her ear in another attempt to try to get her up and he felt her body jolt as his tongue flicked her earlobe a second time. The dainty hand that was poking his cheek now pushing at his chest to get him off of her.

"Okay! Inuyasha, stop!" She giggled, "You know that tickles! No!" She shrieked, making his ear flatten onto his head as he started tickling her sides.

"Do ya promise!" He boomed, laughing at her expense. He knew his girl well, and if gentle pokes did not get her up then torturing her with tickling will. He could feel and see her squirm in protest as she tried to push him off of her, laughing and gasping for air. Her uncontrollable laughter was contagious as he too laughed along with her, grinning wickedly because he knew she was trying to give him an answer.

"Yes!" She gasped, "I swear!" Her laughter growing louder, "Please stop!"

Inuyasha's grin only widened, "That's not what ya tell me when I'm on top of you in other ways!" He was mesmerized the way her eyes scrunched up as she laughed, and at the way her lips looked while she laughed. Whether she was laughing by force or laughing in reaction or something, Inuyasha knew he was one lucky bastard.

She gasped at his reply, "This is different! You know I hate tickles!" She giggled cutely, "Inuyasha!" Tears fell from her eyes now and they made her pillow wet. God, she hated getting tickled!

"Awright!" She heard her husband yell, and then his tickling fingers stopped. Kagome opened her eyes and gasped for air, her husband looking as smug as ever. "Good morning sleepy head." He kissed her on the forehead, on her nose, and then left a lingering kiss to her lips. "Merry Christmas."

Annoyance quickly subsiding, Kagome kissed him back. "Merry Christmas. Now get off of me." She requested, even though it sounded more of a demand. Inuyasha quickly got off of her and pulled her up with him. Watching as his beautiful wife rubbed at her eyes and yawned like a kitten. She stared at him sleepily before getting up to stretch. She could feel his eyes on her, burning her and lighting her up on fire which only woke her up faster.

"Man.. if the gang wasn't comin' over so early I'd take you here an' now." He eyed her hungrily. Kagome blushed, loving the way he still could give her that reaction after being together for so long. She walked up to him and kissed him once more, soft and lingering and filled with love.

"Maybe after dinner you can get some desert." She winked up at him. His white, fluffy ears focused just on her and standing up on command. "Inu," she kissed his lips again, "Could you make me some hot chocolate?"

He pulled her closer in and kissed her again, never getting tired of her sweet taste. "Comin' right at cha." She gave him the smile that made him fall in love with her, the smile only made for him before turning around to head to the bathroom. Immediately walking to the kitchen to make her favorite drink, he added some extra mini marshmallows in the mug because they were her favorite. Sango, Miroku, and Shippo would be here within the next hour and a half and they had a long day ahead of them. He could hear Kagome humming from their bedroom, the water running while she took her shower and hoped she did not take as long as she normally does.

Inuyasha stirred the hot contents inside the mug, careful to not spill any marshmallows before setting her cup aside. He went to pour in some hot coffee into his own mug and stirred in some sugar. He heard the familiar squeak of the shower knobs turn and was left surprised at how quickly Kagome finished up, his silent wish being granted. While he waited for her to get dressed he sat down on the kitchen island and drank his coffee, his only entertainment being their twinkling Christmas tree and the steam coming off of Kagome's hot chocolate.

After a few minutes he heard little footsteps coming from his bedroom and the scent of vanilla and strawberries that followed it. From around the corner Kagome walked out already dressed and holding a little green bag. Inuyasha quickly picked up on her nervousness and got up to meet her halfway. "Kagome? You okay?"

Kagome looked into her husbands amber eyes, concern etched within them and her anxiety subsided a little. She can admit she was nervous about how he would react. She knew he'd be excited, and very happy about the news but she also knew that he never thought he would be a father. Inuyasha has been alive for over 650 years, and when he had first told her she was a little in shock but quickly put it aside as he was part demon and all. His older brother being a lot older than him, and still alive. Demons and humans had lived together peacefully for a very long time, and Kagome found herself falling in love with one.

Inuyasha had had a very hard and unfair life, especially in the earlier times of it. With him being half demon, he was victim to prejudice and thousands of attempts of people and demons trying to kill him. He survived it all and survived to see the attitudes towards demons change from humans. He still gets mistreated by individuals from both sides due to being born half human and half demon, but he has met many more who accept him for who he is. He has found a family within friends who accept him, a loving and beautiful wife he does not deserve, her amazing family, and he has also mended his relationship with his full demon brother.

"Hey, I wanted to give you your first gift in private." Kagome started, her voice giving away how nervous she was. "It's your biggest gift of the bunch." She smiled. Kagome handed him the little paper bag and watched as he worriedly and excitedly placed the bag on the island and began opening it. He kept looking at her to make sure she was okay, as he could still sense her anxiety.

"Is this why you've been so nervous this week?" He asked her. He carefully took the tissue paper off of the bag and heard her breath hitch and slow down, her reaction answering his question.

Inuyasha looked at her one more time before he dug into the bag and felt fabric at the bottom. Confused on as to why clothes would make his wife so damn nervous, he pulled the bundle out of the bag and was met with a small red shirt. "What?", he quietly asked himself. Careful with his claws, he unfolded the red shirt and was surprised to see that it was not a shirt at all. It was a smaller version of his fire rat robe. He eyed the item carefully, knowing that the only way this could be made was by Kagome herself.

"I-" He started, "Kagome..." Inuyasha's eyes widened as realization hit him like a truck. This small fire rat robe was small enough to fit on an infant, and why would Kagome make something so small if there was no infant? As his amber his met her brown ones, a smile formed onto his face. Before saying anything more he investigated the bag once more to see if he missed anything. There wrapped in red tissue paper was a plastic pregnancy test, with two blue lines bold and clear on the results screen. The half demon immediately pulled his anxious wife into his arms and held her tightly.

"No way! Babe, we're pregnant?!" Inuyasha excitedly yelled. He took her face into his hands and left kisses all over it, making sure he kissed away the tears that were falling from her eyes. Her hands cupped his cheeks and she looked into his wide, excited eyes.

"Yes Inu, we are pregnant." She laughed as more tears formed, "You're going to be a dad Inu."

"Yes!" He boomed loudly, his voice echoed in the kitchen as his picked up his crying wife and spun her around. "I'm gonna be a dad!" He kissed her, "You're gonna be a mom! My kids gonna have such a great mom!" He took her lips once again into his and kissed her with so much love and desire. Out of all the time he was alive, he never thought he would ever become a father to a child. When he met Kagome, he knew he had his shot because he finally found a woman who loved every part of him. He had found someone who would love him unconditionally, and therefore would love their child with even more.

Not letting go of her, he reached for the little red robe and stared at it. "When our kids born I'll haveta take it out and wear my old robe with theirs." He wiped another tear from Kagome's eyes, "Kagome. My wife, the mother of our child. God, I love you." He pulled her into his chest and felt her arms wrap around his neck in an embrace.

"This is the best gift you have ever given me, and you have given me so much. No one else has ever loved me the way you do. Has given me a chance to live happily, to make friends, to trust others more." He kissed her forehead, tears spilling out of his own eyes now. "I feel like I was born just for you, and all the bullshit I had to go through my life has led me to you and only you."

"I love you, Inuyasha." Kagome said muffled, her lips hidden within her husbands warm embrace. She lifted her head up tp stare back at him, the smile made just for him on her face. "I will love you and our baby forever, unconditionally, and with all the love I can give you both."

December 25. Christmas Day. 8:30 AM

After some quick freshening up and some makeup both Inuyasha and Kagome did not seem to look like they cried at all. Once dressed and prepared the couple quickly got started on preparing breakfast for themselves and their friends. Every year the group opens gifts in the mornings and share breakfast together, each year the location changes and this time it was hosted at the Taisho's.

As soon as the pair were finishing up with preparing breakfast, their friends had arrived all together with boxes wrapped in festive paper and bags full of goodies. Inuyasha helped Miroku place all of their gifts below the tree while Sango and Shippo helped Kagome bring the plates to the table. The house smelled amazing, and the morning chill outside had no match to the warm and cozy atmosphere inside of their home. After finishing up with the tea everything was ready to eat. The group of friends gathered at the table and enjoyed the delicious homemade meal. After Shippo and Inuyasha fought for seconds and Miroku brewed some more tea it was time to open presents.

Once everyone sat around the Christmas tree the volume in the room intensified with everyone speaking over one another. A lot of "Pick me to go first!" and "Where did you put my gifts?" were being thrown around the room back and forth. Kagome was growing impatient and irritated with how no one seemed to listen to her and clapped her hands loudly. "Alright, alright!" She noticed Inuyasha's ears flick at her loud clapping and she blushed, "Sorry Inu," she apologized.

Kagome stood up and tossed some pillows at everyone in the living room, "We will go one at a time and exchange gifts in order. We still start from the person closest to the Christmas tree. Which would be Shippo." She sent the fox demon a friendly smile before sitting back down next to her husband, who was playfully whining about going deaf from his wife's thunder like clapping. She lightly swatted his arm in reply, "I'll give you something to whine about."

She swore she heard him say "That a threat or a promise?" but chose to ignore it.

Shippo grinned cheekily and grabbed four little boxes from under the tree. "Open them all at the same time, wait for my signal" he practically jumped like a rabbit as he handed each person a box.

He sat back down on his cushion and opened his arms as his signal. He watched excitedly as his friends revealed the frames of pictures they had all taken together throughout the years, reveling in the gasps and praise they made. Shippo was the youngest looking of his friends at 20 years old, although he was very close in his demon age with Inuyasha. He had lost his family when he was only a kit and lived the majority of his life alone until he met Inuyasha. There were many moments where they would butt heads and argue over small things but as they grew the arguing faded and their relationship as brothers progressed. Due to his lifelong friendship with Inuyasha, he met Miroku, Sango, and Kagome and they have all become his family.

"Oh Shippo!" Kagome and Sango cooed, "This is so thoughtful of you!" Kagome finished.

Miroku agreed, "Shippo this very kind of you to make."

"Oi, Shippo..." Inuyasha asked grudgingly, "What's the meanin' of this eh?" The half demon pointed at another frame of Inuyasha and Shippo together where it was clear that Shippo had drawn him with clown hair, make up, and a nose.

"I had to make our picture together a little more accurate." The fox demon grinned at him. He quickly ducked down at the molded paper ball Inuyasha threw at his head.

"If it were accurate ya should have drawn yourself with diapers and a pacifier!"

"Boys, boys please. If you want to kill each other do it outside." Sango chimed in. The demon boys grumbled and said nothing more, "I guess it's my turn!" she sang.

Sango revealed three boxes and handed them to Inuyasha, Kagome, and Shippo which caused the three recipients looked at Miroku in confusion. "Sango, you're not going to give Miroku his?"

Miroku laughed, although it sounded more like a cough while Sango blushed deeply and looked away, "Sango uh... gave me my gift already." Miroku explained.

"Ohhhhhhh!" The curious couple yelled in unison, while Shippo could be seen shaking his head with a sly grin on his face.

"No wonder you've been so under control, Miroku!" The fox demon teased. Miroku cleared his throat and chose to stay silent while Sango's face rivaled that of a tomato.

"Oh just open your gifts already!" The blushing woman squeaked before taking her spot back next to her fiancé. The three teasing friends all laughed but it was quickly drowned out by the sound of ripping paper. Many ooo's and aaa's were heard echoed around the living room as the boxes were opened. Each box was filled with different items for each individual person, each carefully picked out by Sango. Kagome's box was very pink and glittery. The box was made up of cute and subtly scented bath supplies since Kagome loved to take baths and some of her favorite candy. For Inuyasha, his box was filled with instant ramen, Chapstick, and socks.

"Ya really got me socks huh?" he asked with a huff.

Sango nodded with a huge grin on her face, "Well until you stop walking barefoot everywhere and conform to slippers, I think socks are a good middle ground for you."

Inuyasha heard Kagome giggle which caused him to roll his eyes in return, "Thanks for the extra ramen."

Shippo gave no time for anyone to reply because of his loud, excited gasp. "It's a box full of food!"

Miroku laughed, "Babe you're such an enabler."

"Well," she pointed towards Inuyasha, "I did give him a shit ton of ramen, and Kagome more bath time amo... but they're addicted." She shrugged.

"It can't be helped Miroku!" Kagome followed, "We're lost causes. Just give us what we need to survive and keep moving."

"There's lollipops and honey butter potato chips" the fox beamed, "Sango thank you, thank you, thank you!" He hopped in his seat like an excited puppy.

The group laughed in unison and as the wrapping paper was tossed together in a pile, Miroku handed everyone their small gift bags. Miroku was very simple when it came to gift giving, he always had been. Miroku was a pretty simply guy; the only thing he really cares for is Sango, sex, and success. He likes to call it the "The Three S's".

Sango, Shippo, Inuyasha, and Kagome opened the little boxes where a bracelet with three purple beads lay inside. "They are protection bracelets," Miroku started. "We all know I come from a line of monks, and as unholy as I am in some cases I can still stake some claim. If you wear them, you will always have protection. Master Mushin and I made our prayers for a few days on each of them."

Overcome with emotion. Sango leaned towards her soon to be husband and gave him a chaste kiss. "Now I see why you wanted me to open this one here." She leaned her head on his shoulder, "Thank you my love."

"How the hell did two lechers make somethin' so holy and sacred? Mushin's got half of what you have when it comes to bein' holy!" Scoffed Inuyasha.

Miroku laughed, "You know as they say, two halves make a whole." Everyone groaned in unison, and the raven haired man received some eyerolls from almost everybody in the room.

"Right! Well, Inuyasha and I are last!" Kagome beamed happily. She shot up from her seat to go fetch their gifts when a clawed hand gently brought her back down. She stared at Inuyasha, confusion painted onto her face. She watched him stand in her place instead with a huge smile on his face. "Inuyasha?" She soft asked.

"Before we give you guys the gifts under the tree, I wanna show you what Kagome got me." His smile grew wider, "Its gonna blow your minds." He walked into their bedroom as fast as a bullet and left everyone but his wife in confusion and curiosity. The anxiety was coming back into her, but it was quickly being drowned out by her excitement of their announcement. She and Inuyasha both knew their friends would be supportive and as excited as they are.

As quickly as he came Inuyasha appeared by Kagome's side with the little green bag. "Kagome made me somethin' really cool," he began to dig into the bag. "She worked all week on it and I wanted to show ya before I put it on." Lifting out the little red robe, he dropped the bag near Kagome and used both hands to fully show off the small clothing. He watched proudly as everyone's eyes widened in pure shock. Besides him, Kagome stood up in a fit of uncontrollable giggles, "Surprise!" She shouted. "We're pregnant!" In her hand laid the positive white pregnancy test.

Sango got to them first, and successfully almost tackled her best friend down if it were not for Inuyasha's hand on her back. "You're pregnant!" She shouted, "You're going to be a mom! I'm going to be an aunt!" Together the girls began to jump up and down as they became overcome with emotion. Tears were spilling down both of their faces as they celebrated within their own little bubble.

Inuyasha stared at Sango with an arched brow, "What about me?" Suddenly he was pulled into the hug by both women with an expression that held instant regret. "Yeah I shouldnt'a asked."

"My friend!" Miroku spoke next, "You are one of the luckiest men alive. Marrying Kagome, and now expecting a child." He stood up and patted his long time friend on the back. "We are both very lucky men."

The half demon let out a pained grunt from being crushed by his wife and his best friends fiancé. "I don't feel too lucky at the moment, monk!" He was able to push himself free from their grasps as they continued their insane bear hug. Shippo was next to walk up to him with a grin and a twinkle in his eyes. He took the red fire rat robe from Inuyasha's grasp and held it up.

"You know if I had this back when we first met we would have looked like a dynamic duo." Shippo started, "But then I'd look too much like you." He handed the little robe to Miroku so he could see the hard work that Kagome put in it.

"Who's the one who ran away every time I fought a demon?" Inuyasha sent him a shit eating grin, "Cause it wasn't me."

Shippo was going to counter back, but the squealing behind the men stopped and two watery eyes women appeared before them. Sango grabbed the little red robe from Miroku and admired it fondly. The rest of the gift exchange was completely forgotten by the turn in events. The room was filled with love and excitement at the announcement of their friends incoming member of the family.

"Merry Christmas?" Kagome cheered with a stuffy nose.

"I'll be a little corny here but this is definitely the best gift of the night." Miroku stated matter of factly. "We will have a new member of our family soon."

Shippo laughed, "I can't wait for that! We'll be the best uncles ever!"

Kagome pulled Sango into a one-armed hug, "And they will have the best aunt ever."

The group continued giving their last set of gifts from the exchange. The final round from the married couple were just as amazing, but the best gift of the day was still voted as the pregnancy announcement. As their morning continued, and the gifts were all opened and set aside they decided to watch The Grinch as they do every year. After this Christmas, things would never be the same again. Next time the holidays come around, there will be a new family member to spoil with love and presents. Hopefully with some little white ears to match.

#inuyasha #inukag #inuyasha secret santa #secret santa #inukag fan fic #inukag fan fiction #ao3 #fan fiction #ideasthatbuildcitites #christmas fic #au #inuyasha fan fiction

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vanchlo · 4 years ago

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The Partner / Chapter Eight, "The In Between"

Word Count: 6.1k words / Story Masterlist / Read The Assistant / Read on Wattpad / Song: Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses (click to listen)

P.S. - Next chapter will be coming on March 23rd, but I only know this because I've written it already :P Otherwise, I know that they are pretty random which I'm sorry for. Thanks for reading!

"People live with things they don't talk about hidden in their heart."

- Un-Go アンゴ

There, I stop, because I realize what I’ve done. I hear it in my words and in her weeping, the step that I shouldn’t have taken. Without knowing, I spoke in present tense, and knew that I’d only made it worse. It reminded us of what we couldn’t have- what we wouldn’t have. What should’ve been. Should be.

Her head shook from side to side, although belatedly. Her cries had quieted at moments too, that is until her head dove back against my chest, and they returned. I held her there, pressing my lips to her head and closing my eyes, being sucked back into my thoughts. The should’ve-beens made a regretful comeback, and as each one paid a reminder to me, so did a tear down each cheek.

Two Weeks Earlier

Despite the sunshine pouring in through the window, the sight of the glittering snow outside my window chilled me to the bone. Wrapping my arms around myself didn’t help as the cold seeped in through my cardigan.

“Cold, again?” somebody chuckles from over my shoulder.

“Yeah. God, can you turn up the heat in this place, or what?”

“I dunno, you’ve already had me turn it up three degrees t’day. Not sure my Dad brain will allow me anymo.’ Yer gonna make me heatin’ bill skyrocket here soon.”

“Harry,” I giggle, looking behind me to catch his face just in time for him to surprise me with a hug from behind. “Come on, the baby and I are cold. You better soon, or else I’m buying a space heater for my office.”

“Yer gonna be usin’ that kid as an excuse fer ev’rythin.’ Arentcha, Becks?” a shiver runs down my spine at the feeling of his beard against my temple, but it doesn’t compare to his freezing hands on my stomach.

“Yes, because are you trying to make me turn into an icicle with those hands of yours?”

“What, I jus’ got back from lunch. ‘s winter outside, don’t y’know?”

“Wow, I had no idea,” I reply snarkily with a nod to my window before us.

“Watch it, sassy pants, or ‘ll keep those churros fer myself.”

The scoff is already curling my lips when I turn around, “You wouldn’t dare.”

“I would,” Harry contests, raising a brow at me until it all dissolves into his wheezy laughter. “Hey, put that pout away, sweetheart.”

“Don’t try to butter me up, mister,” I mutter, turning away from his waiting arms. His tongue clicks in response but I ignore it, starting for my phone that rings.

“Becks, I was only kiddin.’ Y’know I wouldn’t take away yer churros, love, they’re yer favourite,” he begins, but for some reason that really annoyed me. It doesn’t help when he takes hold of my hand, rooting me to the spot. “Hey, Crabby Pants, yer phone can wait. They can leave a message, but I wanna talk t’ my fiance.”

“What?” I mumble, facing him at last. The corners of his lips lift, and his contagious happiness is hard to resist.

“‘m sorry fer teasin’ you. ‘ll see ‘bout turnin’ tha heat up on this side, and yer churros are waitin’ in me office. ‘d never deprive my baby’s mum o’ her favourite food. No, not my wifey.”

“You better not,” I sigh, giggling against his lips when they press to mine. The gold flecks in his sage-colored irises catch the light when he looks down at me. Sometimes, I still wonder how the sunshine on his face could all be for me.

“I won’t,” Harry hums, reminding me of his own little ray of sunshine when his hand comes to my belly. “Ya should be careful with those churros, I think yer startin’ t’ show.”

“Am not.”

“Are to. Ya had a li’l bump this mornin’ when we were gettin’ ready. I saw it in tha mirror in tha bathroom when you were changin.’ Cutest thing I ever did see,” he coos, painting my face in thick strokes with that radiant smile of his. “Boobs are gettin’ bigger and bum too. ‘m likin’ this whole pregnant thing on you mo’ and mo’ ev’ry day.”

“Of course, you are,” I whisper, feeling the smile drain from my lips when the light catches it. The doctor said they’d fade with time, but three months on and the pink lines still won’t let me forget that nightmare I can’t escape. I saw them every day, in the shower with him or when I watched him get dressed beside me in the bathroom. The mornings when I woke up before him and dragged a finger across his tattoos. He was lucky that none of them were ruined by the numerous stitches, but they got by unscathed. I just wish I could say the same for everything else, for me.

“Hey, where’d that pretty smile go?” Blinking, I focus my gaze back on the dimples that fall into his cheeks.

“Your scars, they’re still . . ,” my train of thought disappears, because it’s nothing that I haven’t said before.

“Still there. I know, they jus’ don’t go away, buggie.” Frowning, his words sink in, but for maybe the fifth time. With a huff, I distract myself with the cream tie dotted with blush flowers that he picked out today. “Hey you, dontchu roll those pretty eyes at me.”

“I’m not.”

“But you are. ‘s it ‘cos somebody hasn’t had her churros yet this week?” his whiny voice grazes my ears from above. It’s difficult, but I control my lips and busy myself with picking a loose thread from his tie. “Becks, I see that smile,” he continues in a mocking tone, and soon I’m giggling against his neck as his nose drags along mine.

“‘Kay, baby, ‘m gonna go and grab yer lunch befo’ my meetin’.”

I whisper a ‘thanks’ against his lips before watching him disappear into the hallway. It’s not often, but my office is quiet, absent of the constant sounds of keys clicking, phones ringing, and a certain somebody being quite good at distracting me. Crossing the room, I plop down in front of my computer. The new messages showing on the side jump at my attention, but what grabs it is the picture frame beside it. With a smile that makes my cheeks ache, I pick it up to admire for the tenth time today. I’m sure that I’ll hit one hundred here, sooner or later.

“Think I like yer frame better, y’know.”

“Really?” I respond, lifting my eyes to Harry who sets down a greasy taco bag on my desk, a protein shake on the side. Don’t even get me started on how he’s already the nagging Dad.

“Ya, like the color and phrase better,” he notes, making me squirm from his hand on my side. It’s forgotten when it travels over to my belly, the exact place I hadn’t realized I’d laid a hand on too. “Can hardly believe it’ll be four months in two and a half weeks. We’re almost halfway there.”

“I know, it’s crazy to me.”

His mumbled agreement comes as I trace the lines of our baby’s profile over the frame’s glass partition. The same frame had sat on my desk for a while now, often updated with the newest sonogram picture after our latest ultrasound. One similar to it sat on Harry’s desk too, both a present from him. Several more occupied our fridge, phone lockscreens at times, and I’m sure in similar forms at both of our parents’ houses.

“Me too. I can’t wait tho,’ t’ be a dad.”

I didn’t think that my smile could get any bigger, but when I tip my head up to look at Harry hovering there, somehow it does.

“You’re going to be the best daddy.”

Sunshine fills every inch of his face, especially in the dimples caved into his cheeks. I hope our baby has those. Please.

“Why thank you. I feel rather lucky my kids get t’ have such a wonderful mummy too,” he notes with a quick wink, sponging a kiss to my forehead warmly. A few moments pass of admiring the picture until his voice interrupts my thoughts again. “Yer sure ‘s okay ‘m helpin’ My’ with that case in Bedford comin’ up?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

“Won’t miss me too much, will you?”

Now, I don’t even bother to hide the way that I roll my eyes at him, accompanied by a sound of disgust. His nose wrinkles before his face creases in annoyance.

“Don’t ask stupid questions,” I almost retort with a joking tone, until I melt at the way he rubs his nose against mine in what some call a kiss. “We’ve been over this, Harry, it’s fine. Skye can stay the night with me if I get lonely, or something. I know an opportunity to have another win against your arch enemy can’t be passed up.”

This time, I really stumped him. It brings a song to my lips, because it’s not often that I get to surprise him anymore. Sometimes, I miss those days, but I’d never go back to them. No, we didn’t have the sweet honeymoon period of first meeting, it was the total opposite. I’d never give up where we’d finally gotten to now, engaged and expecting a baby in a little over five months.

“He ‘s not.”

Still, the crease between his eyebrows remains and I only want to laugh more, “Is too. Malakai Watters is your arch enemy, Harry. You’ve been griping about him since I first met you, no excuse about it is going to work on me.”

Shaking his head, I already hear the argument coming my way, “Watters ‘sn’t my enemy, you silly one, he never has been. ‘ve never had any enemies.”

“Lies and more lies. I’m pretty sure we were enemies once, but you’ll excuse that one too.”

“Eh, I think I can agree with that one,” his face has relaxed and so has his shoulders that rise and fall softly. The green in his eyes lights up when he cracks a laugh from above, despite still being upside down for me. At last, he spins me around and pins me with his hands planted on my armrests. He always has to hog those, at movies and in the car. “Enemies? I dunno ‘bout that word, but you drove me bloody mad in the beginnin,’ so much so ‘s a wonder ‘m marryin’ you now. Wouldn’t have believed anybody if they’d told me back then you’d become my bride. Snotty li’l Holte, me personal assistant.”

“Harry!” comes my exclamation, and like always, followed by his innocent giggle. Innocent, my ass.

“Hey, you were jus’ as guilty, Becks, don’t go denyin’ it. You did everythin’ in the fuckin’ book t’ push me buttons.”

I’m laughing before him and unsure of how to stop until grabbing hold of his neck to press my lips to his. His laugh buzzes against my mouth, cinnamon sugar sticking to his lips. That little churro thief. The gold in his eyes is sparkling when we separate, my cheeks aching once more.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” my question comes in a mumbled sigh, eyes darting between his reddening cheeks and glistening eyes. Wait, what? “Harry, why are you crying?”

“Have I ever told you how lucky I am t’ have you tho’?” Giggling for a reason I don’t know why, I lose myself in those neverending greens for the hundredth time.

“Perhaps, but another time wouldn’t hurt my ego.”

A wry titter escapes his lips for just a second when the first tear glides down his cheek. One that I immediately catch with the pad of my thumb.

“No, I mean it. We fought like cats and dogs when we first met, and we hated each other,” he goes on in a voice leaking of that molasses once more. Mine begin to part until his terse shaking head tells me ‘no.’ “Hush you, don’t you lie either. I know we hated each other’s guts nearly, but outta nowhere, you became my best friend. A few hundred hiccups between then and now, and look at us, gettin’ hitched and havin’ a baby.”

“Yeah,” is all that I can come up with. More like the only words I can shove past my lips. Ones that already tremble from the emotion spilled from his sunshine eyes. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“Reckon I have you t’ thank that fer, and loads mo,’” he corrects with wrinkled brows and a rub to my belly. Memories swim behind my eyelids as I kiss him back, hoping that if this is a dream after all, that I never have to wake up.

I wasn’t sure where I was anymore. No, this place I had never seen before with my two eyes, visited in my dreams, or travelled to in a book. Looking around me for some clue as to where I was, all I could see was golden trees, robin blue cloudless skies, and sunlight pouring in from every corner. It shined on my face and filled me with a warmth, one that I felt underneath my bare feet. When I peered down, my hands habitually went to my stomach but I found that it was completely flat once more.

A question filled my head instantly at the discovery, one that joined the many others of where I was, and everything that was around me. It all fell away instantly when something else took place inside of my head. I could never describe it to anybody or put my finger on it, but that feeling of mine told me that I wasn’t alone. Still with my hands on my stomach, I looked back up and found a young girl walking towards me. Sunlight shone down on her, following her as she walked through the kneehigh grass dotted with flowers. For a reason I couldn’t name, I didn’t want to look away from her in case she disappeared, but my attention was drawn to the beautiful field we were suddenly in. Wild flowers tickled my legs, reaching up to the lilac dress that fell to my knees and hugged the curve of my shoulders.

At the sound of rustling nearby, I glanced upwards once more to find her stopping a few feet away from me. There it was still, that feeling of mine, and as I stood there looking at her beaming up at me, I felt the way it filled my insides. There was something about her that I couldn’t figure out, but I feel like I should know who she is. I tried as I looked into her olive green eyes that sparkled with the secret she knew and I didn’t. A divot fell into one of her freckled cheeks as they rounded from her spreading lips. It sat there on the tip of my tongue as my feet led me forward, as if she was calling me to her. I didn’t know why or how I could, but I felt as if I knew her. This is what brought my hand forth to cradle her cheek, and thumb at the dark ringlets tickling her heart-shaped face.

She couldn’t be more than seven, a few years older than Harper. The second the thought appeared inside of my head, I wanted to shake it, knowing it couldn’t be. But as she stepped forward to wrap her arms around me, I felt the wetness descend onto my cheeks as she surrounded me with her sunshine like warmth. It felt as if I was hugging my younger self, because she was a spitting image of what I looked like, save for those green eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered against my dress where she nuzzled her head into my chest.

“What are you sorry for?” I asked in return, rubbing circles into her shoulder where the sleeves of her green dress ended, the same shade as her eyes. She didn’t offer an answer, only squeezed me tight before pulling away to look at me with furrowed brows. “What’s wrong?” the words spilled out when a tear raced down her cheek, her smile disappearing.

Again, she didn’t answer me, only hastily encircling me once again with her arms. Once more, questions danced around in my head, chasing answers that wouldn’t come, subconsciously or from this little girl. Somehow, I knew her and felt close to her, but I didn’t know how or why. She was beautiful and so sweet, I already knew but I wasn’t sure how.

An ache filled my chest when the next words left her lips, ones that I couldn’t begin to understand. “I’ll miss you.”

Instead of uttering another question that would go unanswered, I held onto her tighter, trying to make out what she had called me at the end there. It was a name, but not one I could remember now. The songs of birds flying overhead surrounded us, as did the trickling of a nearby stream, and a hummed song that I knew from somewhere. One he would always sing to me, but for some reason, I couldn’t recall who he was now.

“Who are-,” my long awaited question came, but it was torn away when I looked down to find my arms empty. In a confused blink, the grassy field decorated with flowers and sunshine was gone.

At my feet, sat cold tiling and the birds were no more. So was the sunshine and warmth. Shivering, I wrapped my arms around me, feeling very cold all of a sudden. Belatedly, I looked up and at my surroundings, wondering where I was now. A dimmed, empty room stared back at me, quiet from the sounds of the world until one broke through the silence.

A cry pierced my ears, and made me spin around. A door stood across the room to my right, where the sound came from. Without knowing what I was doing, my bare feet padded across the chilly floor, and I twisted the handle. Another room awaited me, but this one wasn’t empty. Nor was I alone.

Rows upon rows of hospital cribs stared back at me, little bundles of blankets sat in each one. Babies. They all were quiet except for one. My feet led me in that direction without me knowing it, because there it was again. My feeling. It guided me towards the sound, one that grabbed hold onto something deep inside of me. I knew what it was and what I heard, it was clear as day.

A smile shot up into my cheeks when I stopped at the cradle that held a squirming, crying baby. Its pink face was pinched from wailing, a blush colored hat covering its head as a striped blanket hid its body. But as I reached out to pick them up, I blinked and they were gone. Stepping back, I stumbled and righted myself. Where did they go?

Where’s my baby?

Tears clung to my eyelashes, blurring my vision as I stared at the empty crib. A divot in the miniature mattress stared back at me, and so did something else. My bottom lip wobbled as a briny tear ran over it, but it came to shake harder when I read the name card stuck to the inside of the rolling crib.

Annie S.

Before me, my hand trembled as I reached into the crib, feeling the corner of the card before-

“Becks, lovebug,” a voice murmurs, and the image is ripped away from me. With a jolt, I feel the warmth of a hand on my shoulder, rubbing a line down my back. I’m glad to have been woken up by him and torn away from that nightmare, but at the same time, I’m not. I wanted answers. “It’s time to get up and have a shower, my love. It’s six-thirty, you have to wake up soon so we can go to work.”

Gulping, nothing will go down as a ball sits in my throat. Peeling my eyes open, Harry and I’s familiar bedroom materializes before me. With a ragged breath that races to fill my lungs, a wetness paints my cheeks.

“You can sleep for a little longer, bug, but I’m going to hop in the shower, if you want to join me,” his whisper comes against my temple. Hastily, I turn to bury my face into the pillow, hiding my wet eyes. “Okay then, but you have to be up in half an hour,” Harry finishes, pressing his warm lips to the top of my head.

As I listen to the sound of his parting footsteps, I grasp onto the covers tightly. Only when I hear the spray of the shower and him close the door behind him, do I let loose my sobs into the pillow. I lie there, wondering, why the tears and what is that dream supposed to mean? I’d had weird pregnancy dreams before, vivid ones even, but nothing like that. No, never.

Who was that little girl, and how did I know her? And where had my baby gone, I think to myself as I rub at my belly, worrying away.

“Ree, what do you mean you’re not getting married?”

Rolling my eyes could not begin to convey the thoughts racing through my head, born out of her exclamation.

“Of course, I’m getting married, Skye. What, are you daft? That’s not

what I’ve said at all, if you’d been listening,” I tut with an unruly shake of my head, snapping the cap back onto the honey bottle. “You asked when the wedding was, and all I’ve said is that Harry and I don’t know with everything that’s changed. We had a date for August but cancelled it after we found out about the baby.”

The sofa sighs when I plop onto it, leaving my steaming mug on the table. My best friend of over twenty years tsks beside me, biting off the side of a cookie. Her faux disappointment is all but lost on her when her eyes brighten, cookie crumbs soon falling from her hands.

“Speaking of, let’s see that bump. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?” she nearly squeals, reaching forward to lift my shirt.

“Goodness, Skye, assault me much? All you’ve got to do is ask, don’t need to be undressing me now,” my response comes in a giggle, one that soon falls away when her hands fly to her mouth. My lips soon slide into a smirk that I find hard to control at the sight of her, after lifting my shirt the rest of the way.

“Bloody hell, you do have a bump, and it’s getting big! Fuck, I wish my boobs were as big as yours. Totally unfair, that is.”

“I dunno what you and Harry are on about, I hardly see anything,” I remark with a shrug, the smile staying when her hand comes to rub my pale stomach. “I just look bloated.”

“Ree, come on,” she scoffs with a tilt to her lips that to my surprise, remains quiet as she stares at my stomach. “It’s more than just bloated, you idiot. You’re pregnant, you’re having a baby. Sure, it takes a while to show, but you’re starting to!”

“Hardly,” I chuckle, dropping my blouse once she leaned back against the pillow with her cup of joe. “It’s weird being at this awkward stage where I’m pregnant but I don’t look pregnant.”

“I can imagine, but hold on. Take a few steps back to the ‘not knowing when you’re getting married’ part. Do you and Harry really not know?”

“How are we supposed to?” it comes out in a laugh, not as I’d expected at all. “I’m due to pop this baby out around the same time we had it planned for in the first place.”

“So,” she begins whilst blowing on her coffee. Something clicks inside of me when that happens, along with the raise of her brow. “You’re just happy with waiting, and not knowing when it’ll be? That doesn’t sound like you, Ree.”

“Thanks for being depressing, Skye,” I try to say with a laugh, but it doesn’t go over well, because I can’t find one. No, if there was anybody else in the world who could read me like a book, it’s my first grade best friend. “No, I’m not really happy about waiting, but I’m excited about this baby, and what is being married besides vowing to date each other forever? No, it actually is okay. We’ll figure it out. Maybe we’ll randomly go to the courthouse one day- don’t worry, you’ll be invited, if we do. Or just wait and make it grand- you know, once I lose the baby weight or something.” I sip from my peppermint tea with a hand on my bump, knowing that I couldn’t be happier, but still wondering how we’re going to do all of this.

“Don’t be so sad, Ree, my god!” she exclaims with a playful swat to my shoulder. I laugh along with her, but as I stare into my tea, it doesn’t remain for long. She’d hit a nerve and with a cautious glance her way, I can tell that she knows it. “How’s about the house? The six bedroom and three bath with a grand yard, covered porch, marble kitchen island, fireplace, walk in closet, and dare I say, a pool?” she blabbers on in a posh sounding voice, making me laugh this time.

“Good, it’s um, good. I dunno what else to say, Harry’s the one who talks to the contractors and all,” I offer with an outstretched hand, unsure of my words.

“Come on, Ree, you’re building a bloody house!” her boisterous laugh comes. Her eagerness shows, as well as the three glasses of wine she had with dinner. I’m not sure the one cup of black coffee is going to help her much.

“I know, but I dunno- I more so just go over the plans with Harry and approve them, I guess?” I say with a large shrug of my shoulders. “There’s not much to update you on since you last asked about it. It’s a house, they take forever to build. I won’t get to have much fun with it until it comes to like, picking wallpaper and tiling.”

“Well, will it be ready by the time the baby comes?”

“I doubt it, but Harry keeps insisting it will,” I muse aloud, watching the ripples in the brown liquid when I blow on it, feeling the steam grace my cheeks. “It’s fine if it isn’t.”

“Your response to everything is ‘it’s fine,’ since when are you like that?”

Pressing my lips together, I lift my head to meet her curious stare, a tired one after that wine, “I’m just going with the flow, Skye. I’ve found it’s better than being upset about plans being changed. I wanted to get married, then build a house, and then have a baby. But it’s okay, we get to do the baby part first. It’s like dessert before dinner, and I can do that. It’ll be fun,” I tell her, feeling the truth in them as well as the grimy half-lie.

Should I tell her or will she brush it off, as if it’s nothing? It wasn’t nothing to me though, that dream this morning, it’s bothered me all day. I’m not sure how much longer I can go without telling somebody about it, but it scares me to have to recount it, and being afraid they’ll tell me it means nothing. Because that’s the last thing it meant to me, and something inside of me keeps telling me that I shouldn’t just forget about it.

“If you insist,” she sighs, clucking her tongue. “Are you two still meeting Asher and I tomorrow night?”

“Y-Yeah,” I answer shakily, too deep in my thoughts to notice the way the tea burns my lips. What if I can’t figure out what that dream meant, will it be okay?

A cacophony of sounds pelted my ears the second we walked in the door. Apparently we weren’t the only ones with the good idea of trying the new pizza and arcade place on a Friday night.

“Well, this place ‘s neat, innit?” Harry comments as we approach a table tucked into the corner, between skeeball and some flappy bird looking game.

“Yeah, it looks great. Loads of games,” Asher comments when we pull out chairs to sit across from them. “No, don’t sit down. We just ordered the pizzas, but they may take a little while. Let’s go and get started on the games. I saw Pacman and a Supermario game when we came in,” he continues emphatically, already getting up from his seat. Skye laughs beside him, joiningAsher as I let go of the chair.

We pass parents and children, teenage couples, and a few others like us on our way to the front. There, we find the machine that’s replaced the coin contraption back from our day. No, you no longer had to feed coins into each game and have paper tickets spit out at you.

“’s kind o’ sad, dontchu think? ’s all digital now. Ya don’t have tha fun anymo’ o’ counting tha tickets and yer coins,” Harry muses while sliding a card from his wallet.

“It’s easier to keep track of.”

“I suppose, but that’s no fun. It made me day findin’ a lost coin or line o’ tickets on the ground,” he hums with a shake of his head, pressing buttons on the touch screen. “How much should we do, you think?”

“I dunno,” I answer, forgetting the screen showing different dollar amounts and a description of how some games cost more than others. Instead, my attention is pulled to behind me. I’d seen her on our way in, but now, I look again at the mum sitting in the corner feeding her young baby, watching on as the dad holds up their son to shoot basketballs.

“Hey, ’m talking t’ you,” somebody says, nudging my shoulder with theirs. Turning back around, I find Harry’s green eyes waiting for me with furrowed brows. “Right now, we’re kids again with their friends, playin’ arcade games on a Friday night and stuffin’ themselves with pizza. We still have a ways t’ go on that, five and a half months actually,” he notes softly, nodding his head towards the mum.

“Yeah,” I murmur sheepishly, crossing my arms and looking back at the screen.

“I didn’t mean it rudely, Becks.”

“I know. A tenner should be fine, let’s just do that. We can always load more money onto it,” I insist, lifting my feet and clicking them together, like I’m Dorothy and wanting to go back home. Because, well, I do. It’s loud and my stomach hurts, I’m not sure from hunger or nausea, or both.

I’d been excited when we’d agreed to come here with Skye and Asher earlier this week, but no matter how much I tried to push it away, that stupid dream couldn’t be forgotten. Especially since I had it again last night, and I dreaded going to sleep tonight, in fear I’d see that mysterious little girl and that empty crib where our baby should be. It-

“Becks?”

“Wh-What?” I stammer, looking up quickly to find Harry waving a plastic card at me.

“We’re all set,” he announces, stepping to the side so Asher and Skye can buy theirs next. I follow him, moving out of the way for a little boy and his big brother to come through, rushing to the bathroom behind us. “You okay? Not feelin’ sick or anythin’, are you?”

I think about shaking my head, but when I look back into his eyes, I get The Look. The Harry Styles Look. The Look of all Looks. No, it wasn’t the killer stare I’d first familiarized him with when I sat at that desk at the end of his hall. This one came not soon after though, and it’d stuck. Ever since then he could read all of my tells, including how uncomfortable I am right now, or maybe just how I’m overthinking. He knew that look too.

“I’m probably just hungry.”

The curl hanging over his forehead is knocked loose when his head bobs up and down, but I reach a hand up to set it back in place.

“Don’t worry, we’ll get some pizza in that belly soon. I know how you’ve been craving it,” his dimples once again hide under his beard, one that had been growing thicker as the winter carried on. I feel its length when his lips sponge a kiss to my temple, his hand caressing my bump only a few seconds later.

“Thanks.”

After a few games, I found myself getting into it more and laughing at Harry’s competitiveness. I’d learned a long time ago that laughing about it was better than getting mad about it, and also that going to play games with Skye turned out better, watching the boys play from the sidelines.

“You doing okay, Boops? Tummy not good or are you tired?” the question came as I watched the little screen rack up my tickets from a Scooby Doo version of Whack a Mole. Instead of a red button marked with ‘25 cents’ a touchscreen with a card swipe sat there.

“Both, but what’s new?” I murmur, following her past Ring Toss, some car racing game that doesn’t give you tickets, and Space Invaders. At last, we found Air Hockey open and decided to have a go.

“So, what is it really?”

“What’s what?” I replied with an air of faux stupidity, pretending to focus hard on hitting the puck back her way.

“Why have you been acting weird lately? Just because I had some wine last night doesn’t mean I didn’t notice it.”

“Oh, that. You noticed,” I comment, avoiding her eyes even when she gets the puck past me. Bending over, I pluck it from the holder and hit it over to her, following it.

“Yeah, I noticed that. Whatever it is, which by the way, what is it again that’s bothering you?”

“You don’t sound very smart when you’re drinking. You do know that, don’t you?” a laugh is close to my lips, but it disappears almost as soon as it’s thought. As if to spite me, she picks up the glass of the pink hard cider she’d ordered. Sometimes, I missed drinking and how it made nights like these all the more fun.

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious,” she sighs, tsking when I make the puck into her goal. Groaning, she slams the rest of the cider before dropping the puck onto the glow in the dark table. “But really, what is it?”

“God, are you and Harry stubborn,” I remark with a near groan, taking her cue when she hits it hard my way, deciding to do the same. “Fine . . so I had this dream the other night, like a nightmare almost and . . . ,” I carry on, detailing the entire thing to her, almost hoping that maybe if she says it’s nothing, her inebriated mind won’t remember it.

“Good game, glad you could get some rage out on that one, seeing as how you nearly gave me a bruise that one time.”

“Sorry,” the word drops carelessly as we walk away from the table and through a loud pack of kids. She makes a comment about never wanting kids, only to turn to me regretfully with the same word on her face. “It’s okay. I’m probably worrying for nothing.”

“I know you and don’t want to say that myself, but it was just a dream, Ree. Aren’t they like, manifestations of your thoughts and all that jazz? Maybe you saw the little girl once or see yourself in her, and want to protect her. It’s the mother in you coming out, I’m sure. I wouldn’t worry too much about it and what it means, it’s just a dream.”

“Yeah, it’s just a dream,” I agree aloud, more grateful than ever for Harry and Asher stepping in our path, telling us the pizzas had arrived. Sitting down beside Harry and arguing with him about Hawaiian pizza whilst our hands sat on the other’s thigh, this had once been a dream to me too.

But the one about the empty crib and the mysterious girl, no that was almost a nightmare, and I’d had enough of those.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles au #boss!harry #lawyer!harry #attorney!harry #ceo!harry #lawyer romance #office romance #hecky #becks holte #harry x becky #one direction fanfiction #alternate universe #fanfiction #writing #fic #wattpad #vanchlo writes

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xxkellsvixen19xx · 5 years ago

Text

Violent Delights Have Violent Ends Colson Baker X Reader

Word Count: 1,395

Warning: Angst will want tissues! A touch of Baz Lurhman's Romeo & Juliet..

It's harder than it seems to be young in a world permeated by violent delights and violent ends. Y/N came along changing everything Colson ever knew about the world itself and love. But fate has a hand just like Romeo & Juliet.

And this was how his world ended:

Her hands on yours, her eyes on yours

The two of you

Hanging on the cheek of night like a jewel.

And this was how your world ended:

Falling in love, falling in tragedy

The two of you

Dancing, whispering sonnets to each other.

And this was how your world ended:

Can a hungry heart give rhythm to new life?

The night was cool and pleasant as Colson leaned on his bedroom's window, staring at the moon and feeling the soft breeze on his skin. The anxiety was almost driving him crazy when he finally heard his door opening. He stood watching as she closed the door and then approached him.

Y/N smiled awkwardly, the moonlight revealing the flush on her cheeks. She was so adorable... He wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her passionately, but he didn't know if it was appropriate.

Then she came closer to him and took her hand to his face and caressed it, as he gazed into her eyes intensely. She slowly moved her hand to the back of Colson's neck, pulling his face toward hers and kissing him.

The kiss started softly, gently. But in no time the desire to make it deeper became irresistible. Y/N parted her lips lightly, silently asking to deepen the kiss, and he eagerly granted her request. Their tongues met in an utterly sensual way, moving slowly yet passionately. Colson's hands held tightly over Y/N's waist, making her shiver slightly under his firm touch.

//Towers rise, with souls in their woes

The people cry for someone//

When he felt he was about to lose control, he decided to stop the kiss, but the desire inside of him prevented him from being successful. His lips indeed left hers, but they were still placing kisses on her skin... First on her chin, then on her throat, and finally on her neck.

Y/N gasped and shivered again, this time more strongly. And in an extraordinary effort, she managed to make her voice out in a faint whisper as she kept caressing the back of his neck.

"Oh, Colson..."

//Will you rescue me

You can set me free

Will you break these chains

Stop me falling//

If this was a dream then it was a result of his inner desires, then this dream was easily explainable. Colson loved Y/N and wanted to have that kind of closeness with her.

"Until when will you manage to hide your feelings from Y/N, Colson?", JP asked in the last conversation they had. "You two have been always so close lately, I swear I don't know how you resist. I at least keep some safe distance from Janessa..."

"I've already told you, JP... I don't want to risk our friendship, I don't want her to reject me again."

"I don't think she'll reject you again, Colson. She likes you, there's no way to deny it. Ashleigh and Janessa are always 'complaining' about Y/N having 'abandoned' them for you..."

"But it doesn't mean she likes me the way I like her. She likes me as a friend."

"Maybe you're right, but it's a start... But you know what? I think she already likes you more than that... She just didn't realize it yet."

//Will you rescue me

Give me air to breathe

Help these eyes to see

Will you come and rescue me//

"I'll never be able to give you some love advice without it turning against me immediately, huh?" JP countered

"No."

"I suspected it."

Colson smiled. Perhaps his friend was right... Maybe it was foolishness to continue feeding the fear of being rejected again. Until when would he bear to be so close to Y/N without taking any action? Until when would he be able to hold back this feeling that was growing so intensely each day? Sooner or later it would become painful to him, being with her without being able to touch her in a loving manner, to hold her, to kiss her…

Y/N was never tired of remembering Colson's gesture of affection at the cemetery back when her mother passed away, holding her and comforting her when she needed it most. And what she felt when he held her was exceptional... She felt loved and protected as she didn't feel since a long time ago... To tell the truth, until then she only had felt that way with... Colson.

Y/N could clearly feel Colson's heart beating wildly when she held him tighter... She could even feel some change in his breathing... It definitely meant something. Did he still have feelings for her even after she proved not to be worthy of being loved by anyone?

She was feeling more confused than she ever felt in her entire life. On the one hand, her heart rejoiced at the thought that Colson could still be in love with her... Her need to be next to him was growing stronger each day. His presence made her feel so good...

But on the other hand there was the real reason behind everything. It would be very wrong to feed Colson's feelings – whatever they were – but fate had a different idea.

"You look so beautiful... You are so beautiful...", he said, unable to hold back his admiration.

Y/N blushed intensely with the compliment and briefly looked away. But soon her eyes came back to Colson's, and she kept staring at him, their eyes completely locked.

"Thank you...", she replied in a low voice, surprised with the reaction that came from inside of her chest. A pleasant feeling warmed her heart and made it beat faster at the intensity of his gaze. And what a gaze... His eyes were an almost dark blue, mysterious, and they seemed to hide so many secrets... And she suddenly felt the need to discover them.

//In my heart I know

In my head I hope

In my body I call

Waiting for you//

Heartbeats like gunshots

Hearts like flames

Human and human and human and human.

Joined as one heart, mind, body and soul until yet again fate had other ideas.

**********************************

1 Year later….

Light bled across the firmament.

Colson crossed many streets, opened the doors to the chapel.

He said: this is life, this is life,

Life will end but I will not

You may end but we will not

I will death's end with a kiss.

Colson's POV...

Poison in your hand, on your mouth

Blood on your sword

The air of the grave was far too still for this.

You, rash and bold, life was too short for you,

Death will be too long for you,

Time is not enough for you,

You consumed her heart and were surprised at the consequence

But regret cannot purge your final thoughts;

Let them slip away. You will be

A tragedy in a bard’s story, you and she together.

Your fate will give you absolution.

You cannot know you have died in vain.

She still breathes her hungry breaths.

Her life is yet in her.

Your actions will untie the knot

Threads will fray and her world

Plummet into the darkness.

But for now,

Your wearied bark finds its shore

Your decayed Paradise has given way to this

Fresh and bright and vibrant

Your world ended

Your world lives on.

Y/N begins to stir to life. She watches Colson swallow the poison, and brushes his cheek with her fingers a moment too late. Her eyes widen as she realizes what has happened. She kisses him as he dies, hoping the poison will afflict her as well. After Colson has perished, Y/N cries out in grief, places his gun to her temple, and pulls the trigger.

Violent delights have violent ends. "There never was a story of more woe, than this of Y/N and Colson."

A montage of happy moments—Y/N and Colson under the white blankets in an intimate moment, kissing underwater in his swimming pool—gives way to body bags being led out of the church into an ambulance.

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