#i've also figured my interests n stuff out a lot this past year...

[isatoru]

ok bro so i don't know how to make this post SDJFHSH and say hi hello i missed everyone without being awkward and facing cricket noises since it's been over a year since i’ve logged in LMFAO and ppl still following r gonna be like ??? but .... ASKDUSDL HELLO!!!!! 🙂‍↕️ to everyone that is still here ... <3

I MISSED YA'LL SM OMG ;---; i hope some of you still remember me so this won’t be too awkward 🙂‍↕️🙏

on that note!!!! i have returned because i have really bad gojo and isagi brainrot since rewatching/rereading jjk + getting into bllk

+ i have so many fics i have completed that i want to post !!! i have been cooking in isolation and after much needed self-growth and love in writing <3 ;v; (gojo, isagi, and nanami ones mostly lmaoo AND ALSO A SUKUNA SERIES I WANT TO POST) AND IDK WHAT TO POST FIRST LOL

also to the mutuals (that remain... <3) please do not be alarmed if u see me in ur notifs reblogging fics for my current faves and yapping in ur tags 🙂‍↔️ like in the next few days LMFAO i have been deprived of reading good fic for soooo long bruh and now im like. I NEED TO READ FOR GOJO AND ISAGI SO BAD…. i missed fic so bad...

would ya'll be chill if i posted writing out of the blue here lmao and changed my username ??... it wouldn't be too awkward ?? 🙂‍↔️ (for the username i will change it in a few days despite my impatience so i give everybody like a chance to get used to me being on their dash so it won't be too alarming LMAOO)

[beemers-hell]

I've seen a lot of fashion doll posting on your twitter and like, I don't exactly know how to ask but if you ever want to infodump about it on here that would be so genuinely interesting

Not pressuring you in any way of course! I just like seeing your fashion doll posting

rubs my hands together maliciously

Ok so I don't actually have anything I feel like talking about doll wise atm, I prefer making one off posts here n there about the dolls I'm into on twt more than tumblr cause I feel like twt is better suited for one off thoughts while tumblr is better suited for dedicated n thought out posts, at least with how I use it. Which is why you see a lot more wips/shitposts from me on twt than tumblr. so instead I'll just show yall my current collection!!! ANYWAY long ass post time

I've been working on finding and filling out various release lines from different doll brands im fixated on and have been rearranging my collection set up a lot cause of it lol. My shit is scattered all around my room because of how me and my little brother have divided up space for us to display both of our separate collections of things (we are both autistic and insane about our special interests) so there's gonna be a lot of photos lol

TO BEGIN: here's my display case of all my old g1 Monster High dolls I managed to hold onto since I was a kid! I got all of these back when MH initially debuted (when I was around 8 or 9) and all of these dolls have survived through my childhood/teenage years, hence why they're not in super great shape unfortunately lol

the only exceptions to this being the Día de Muertos Howliday Skelita, since obvs that's a recent release, as well as the misc. dolls I have scattered around the top of the case, those are dolls that s0uless has gifted to me over the past 2 years teehee

Moving on, to my current collection of dolls I began purchasing for myself over the past year: starting with this set of shelves next to my bed! I'm mainly using this as my Bratz shelf, but I ran out of room to fit my Skultimate Secrets Fearidescent Dolls where I usually keep my Monster High dolls, so they're there for now.

I only have Jade's reproduction doll because when the Bratz reproductions first began releasing, I was being strict with myself about not indulging in dolls again so I only let myself get Jade since shes my fav. Which I'm sad about, cause I'd love to have all the girls together for both their 20th anniversary reproduction dolls and their Alwayz dolls together. Also, there's a spot left empty next to my Alwayz Cloe bc I have Not been able to find Alwayz Sasha in stores like ANYWHERE for the past 2 months, so I gave up and ordered her online. She'll be arriving here in a couple days!!

Next up is this series of shelves above my dresser that I mainly use to display misc. figures n other shit I've come to own since I was like 12 (you can tell bc of the MHA stuff lmao) but I recently cleared some space so I could fit my Skultimate Secrets Series 1 Dolls (and Spa Day Lagoona + Scare-adise Frankie and Draculaura) somewhere, as well as having a place to display my current set of LOL OMG dolls! And also Bank art doll cameo lmao

Then we have the top shelf of my desk, which mostly has various Knicks knacks compacted into a corner but I put my two LOL OMG Tweens together there, as well as my single Licca doll that s0uless got me for this past christmas and the custom doll they made of my sona for me! <3

(fun fact me and s0uless are currently in the process of making more custom dolls of Eb, Bank, and the triplets but you'll have to wait n see on that one hehe)

And finally for dolls, here's my desk setup, where I display my main Monster High dolls! I mostly just display each Signature Doll + Their Core Refreshes here, but Monsterball Draculaura didn't have space anywhere else so she gets to chill there too lmao

Thats it for my actual dolls, but I have two other photos to share, which is just how I set up my Skultimate Secrets Series 1 Lockers + where I put the posters that come with each Bratz doll I have lmao

ok thats all I'm done now, ill update this when Sasha gets here lmao

[dorkfruit]

i put this together using my computer's trackpad so the new year is already starting out . bad .

posts: J | F | M | A | M | J | J | A | S | O | N | D

template

reflections on the year, my plans for the future, some studies i did, and wips for the next year all down below for those who are interested

tldr; we will be ianthing next year so watch out!!

oh dear lord it's been another year. 2024! can you believe it! i don't talk much on this blog because i have a tendency to talk too much, but it's my little new year's treat, so here we go.

RECAP

i started taking drawing "seriously" in December of 2020, starting to do studies and stuff, and each year since i've ramped it up more and more. this year, i did. a lot of studies. there's probably like at least 200 more in my folder now (not including the 300 days worth of gesture drawings i did), with things like painting, faces, feet, poses, etc. anything i was struggling with, i went right into studying it. my art has been mediocre for a pretty long time now, and it's only the past few months where i feel i'm starting to get the hang of it, which is exciting!

more importantly, i started posting a lot more on this blog. i really like documenting my progress, looking on where i was before and seeing how i've improved. everytime i draw some fanart, im like, oooghh i can't wait to show my (: followers (: !! lots of locked tomb art of course. i've been trying to nail the energy of the different characters, which is why i enjoy books so much, because you get a lot of creative control. drawing ianthe is my fav of course, cause she's my lil nasty, but also i enjoyed doing designs for characters i hadnt thought about before, like judith.

in addition to the locked tomb, we had some new fandoms that got brief moments in between iantheposting: Fear and Hunger, Postal, Faith The Unholy Trinity, and a couple of old ones too, like We Have Always Lived In The Castle and The Merciless.

i posted about 115 times this year, although most of those are shitposts LOL i love posting stuff on my blog and showing people my stuff <3

THE FUTURE

my plans? do more ianthe art, of course. ill be working on more studies, probably going to work on developing a style, and figuring out how to paint. i'd like to do more actually finished pieces, but let's be honest, it'll still be mostly shitpost doodles. i'd like to do more weird stuff. i've been messing around with some gore and NSFW near the end of the year, and it's fun to draw for me. i like idk art that evokes some type of emotion, especially discomfort, and so i find that type of art fun to do, so if you don't enjoy what i've done thus far in that direction, perhaps this isn't the blog for you. i really like horror media, and so i want to do some stuff like that too.

for specifics, i like western type art, a comic book-esque style i'd like to aim for. but i'd like it to be a little more. weird with it. i find comic books often draw all the characters the same, and make all the characters traditionally attractive, and that's boring to me so i'll have to work on finding a way to keep things weird, while also appealing in a graphic sense. the worst thing my art could be is bland and forgettable.

locked tomb wise... more tridentarii art. need to be really weird with it. i have lots of wips planned, like i have a whole page worth of just thumbnails, so i wanna get some of those done. also i had a few animatics i wanted to do. mostly stupid shit, once i learn how to do animatics, then we'll do actual serious ones. id also like to do more comics. i have some comics storyboarded out with my girlies, i like telling a story so, need practice on that. id also like to develop a way to consistently draw them, for convenience sakes, so i'm not fighting for my life every single time i draw these characters. oh and i wanna do some outfit stuff. i draw them in like. generic clothes everytime but i'd like to come up with a few actual outfit designs, that i can just reference back to. and, of course, more shitposts. lots of stupid shit in 2024 for sure. there was something else i wanted to say here but i can't remember.

ART

oki enough rambling, here's some IMAGES for yall to look at i know everyone loves to look at images.

began this year by warming up with gesture sketches (almost) every day. i started with 20 poses (30 seconds each), and then in november i was like. ugh my hands suck i need to get better at hands, so i switched to doing 10 hand sketches (60 seconds each). i want my art to be very energetic so it's important that i do these !!

anatomy studies of extremities because i'm flopping at those -_- ive gotten better with hands but they're still a struggle. i hate feet tho still

need to get my painting game up. i joined an art forum to get advice, and the biggest suggestion i got was working on my values, so i did various value studies. also lots of faces because my faces flop !!

random doodles to work on drawing from imagination. on my "sketchbook" pages, as i like to call them, i'm usually pretty loose and messy, since the point is just to be drawing so often these will suck, but that's fine. i don't think very much when i draw faces on here either so they end up being in my Instinctive Style i suppose you could say

ianthe wip. i was planning to do a few drawings based on the idea of her having Missing Arm nightmares, but the lineart was intimidating to me so i haven't worked on this one more yet /: also there was going to be a toontown gay homosexual toxic yuri comic that i was gonna put here with it but the page is way too long so umm guess that'll have to wait.

...

anyways. thank you for reading if you got to the bottom of this! i appreciate all the support that i've been getting lately (extra big kissies for the same like 5 people who always reblog my posts youre the best). and we will be ianthing soo hard in 2024 so watch out!!

[organsblackcoat]

FINALLY, DR WIT LORE

I've been putting this off for ages damn anyways time to ramble about stupid rat man (this post is rather long so take that as you will)

alr I've figured to actually start writing about my ocs, here's one of them, Dr Timotheus Wittison (also expect stuff to be inaccurate because I cannot look up 'when did the church stop hating science' for the 10th million time, just to see the damn crusades instead of the 1850's timeline)

Ok ok so Dr Shittison babyy So he's on earth, Britain, it's the good ol 1850s, Dr wit is in his late 20s, has a wife and 7 year old daughter, the wife works baking and selling bread, Dr wit is a "scientist" of medicine and he sells 'cures' in bottles for the village (it's all fake, he never even went to highschool! L bozo (actually he doesn't have a degree of any sort either but shshs don't ruin his spirit)

Dr wit was originally born in the 1850s England in a city in a wealthy-ish family but they grew poor quick and while he was in a young age. they live in the countryside because of that and try to gain back their success by agriculturecontinuing off this his wife (her name is Madeline) moved to the countryside when he was 7 and they fell in love got married at 19 but he was very interested in science and the church hated that and same with his family (not his wife tho) anyways he's pretty much kicked out and he moved back to the city and adopted a girl with his wife (the kid's name is Clementine)

ok!history lessons with organs!

so during the 1853 to 1856 there was a war!!! the crimean war and is was originally just with Russia and Turkey but then England and France joined later on but the war opened alot of opportunities for cool stuff like modern weapons (shells, railways and telegraphs wow!) plus medicine was getting more popular too

anyways wit thinks he soooo smart and that he made a completely new crazy theory (he boiled water and learned that it can clean out most bad stuff in there) and he thinks wow! I'm soooo cool I can totally become a doctor or something special with that information learned!

he never entered highschool.

but don't break his spirits

anyways he tries to go learn but gets rejected because he never went to highschool so womp womp wommp but he is also kinda egoistical so he thinks 'well screw them in gonna be so cool' and tries to sell the boiled water off as good but it's the 1850s noone cares and alcohol literally is cleaner then normal water so that sucks. but now he's so sad because that was his golden opportunity and he lost it! L bozo but then field 54 comes (ok I still can't think of names but basically it's like a terf war there and 2 gods are fighting eachother for the whole planet) and one of them begans the need of scientists but picks out wit as one of them... now, wit is a smart man, he knows what's he's doing... so wit ACTUALLY FALLS FOR THAT AND LEAVES HIS WIFE, 6-7 YEAR OLD CHILD, HIS HOME, HIS SIMPLE LIFE IN EARTH stupid loser

so his wife and daughter also die from the scarlet fever too (when I say he took everything, I mean it) and they died but back to wit he's in field 54 and obviously he's not very happy. he realizes that all the people that are literally some either harmed because of the war and the violence from it or because the air really sucks and same with the dirt so they can barely grow anything not so cool

now he realizes just how screwed he is (I should've mention this earlier but he arrived into planet with 20 other scientists with actual degrees) and because there's a lot of competition for food and survival on the planet, everyone pretty much is bullying each other and making things alot worse then they should be just to be lucky and survive on the planet

and because wit is wit he moves his lab into his basement to avoid the harassmentand while being away from everyone else he starts reflecting on his past and decides he's either gonna upgrade or destroy the battlefields and begans messing with his body n stuff to make his vision better, all that stuff and he takes inspiration from a few lab rats he owned to make him the half furry rat half human thing

also ALL THOSE 20 SCIENTISTS DID DIE and he was assigned with a new project to make a messenger (the white rabbit project) the scientists all have the blueprints done they just need the real thing so wit in he moment of sadness decided to base the project over his dead daughter Clementine as tribute and he also gave the white rabbit actual human emotions even though the blueprints tell him not to do that

he makes the white rabbit (he doesn't call it Clementine tho just white rabbit) and the white rabbit is trans and is also beginning to question what the hell he is and he finds a photo of young wit and his family and freaks out because who's this girl who looks just like him???? who's this other lady standing nent to her??? and they verbally fight until wit finally says who odis (the white rabbit) is supposed to be and shows him the blueprints but odis sees the little note saying he shouldn't have emotions and gets mad, leaving wit and his house behind and moving into a broken up old apartment

much much later Dr wit gets news saying they'll need to hold something captive in his house and that person is wires yay! so he was caught stealing from the buildings near wit and because noone ever expected for anyone in the other side of the war to rob them, and they decide to keep wires captive/bait but no one really comes for him so wit feels bad and tries to get him to join his side of the war, wires doesn't care that much and is now kinda a roommate of wit but then wit also falls in love with wires but he doesn't do anything about because he's so loney he just shakes it off as normal

I'll make a post about wires a little later (here)

[alwayscraftynight]

Hello, I am one of the other 5 Jacob Hopkins fans on planet earth. I’ve been planning on writing a redemption fic for Jacob as a way to make something meaningful out of the 1000s of hours I have spent daydreaming about this loser, as well as to make a rebuttal of sorts to all of the people in the fandom who thinks he is pure evil and deserves to be horrifically murdered. 

The fic only has 4 paragraphs at the moment because I suck at writing, but the basic idea for the plot goes as follows. 

After his last appearance in Thanks to Them Jacob gets arrested for harassment, setting up illegal traps, etc and serves time in prison for a couple of months to maybe a year. He is then submitted to a mental rehabilitation facility because he’s him. In the facility he unlearns all of his conspiracy theories, including the ones about the existence of Vee, Eda, and the demon realm as a whole. He basically gets gaslighted into believing he was hallucinating everything magic related. He is then released from the rehabilitation center and stays with a family member who lives in a town close to Gravesfield and acts as his ward (I currently have it as his cousin). The fic starts 2 years into his stay with his cousin and Jacob is relatively sane and able to deal with his NPD (he has that by the way) and the traumas he experienced during his time as a conspiracy theorist, as he works at some kind of low skilled job to help pay for bills and things.

Eventually the plot happens and he begins to slowly figure out that magic, demons, and witches do in fact exist with a heavy amount of angst. Current idea for that happening is Hunter just showing up because Luz, Vee, and Camila realized one day that they have no idea what happened to Jacob after he was arrested so Hunter does some Reconnaissance for old times sake (Camila might be there too). Then more plot happens until Jacob is properly informed of and then brought to the demon realm via the boiling isles human realm exchange program, where he makes peace with his past and properly addresses what he did and apologizes.

With that in mind, here is my request.

Your headcanons. Give them to me. (pretty please)

All of the personality traits, hobbies, backstories, and everything else about Jacob Hopkins that you’d be willing to share. And also some feedback about the overview, what ideas and themes could be explored, and just your general thoughts would be nice.

Cheers.

Oh boy I hope you're prepared for a lot of rambling, your fic sounds absolutely AWESOME and I'd love to read it when you post it! I also don't really understand the abundance of hate he gets in the fandom. Like I understand not liking him and he IS kinda annoying, but I've seen people that like Philip treating him like the antichrist. Tbh I'm not really too bothered by it from a moral standpoint because he isn't real but it does make me a bit sad (my autism has latched HARD onto this character)

The cousin aspect is also a funny coincidence because I'm also incorporating his cousin into my AU because she's Masha's mother lol, and the NPD would make a lot of sense tbh. I think a cool idea to explore could maybe be his relationship with Eda since iirc she was the first demon he came in contact with, I also think while he's relearning that magic and demons and witches exist he'd still struggle a bit with not seeing demons and witches as people because he finds them fascinating (obviously he'd get better about this but it'd be fun to explore a few of his flaws during his redemption n stuff!) I also think exploring a possible friendship with Gus would be cool, since Gus is heavily interested in humans and Jacob is heavily interested in witches though I'm not sure if Gus would be comfortable with it at first from the whole scene where he gets arrested. I unfortunately can't do most of these for my AU since Eda is deceased and the idea is moreso him getting what he wants but facing consequences for it (and not learning because he has someone around to encourage said behavior.. ooo mysterious)

Like I said your fic sounds extremely cool to me and I'd really like to read it when you're finished if you're comfortable with that!

As for headcanons I have A LOT of convoluted stuff about this guy bc I too daydream about the loser daily lol. I unfortunately have a bad problem with forgetting stuff as soon as I go to write it down BUT I will do my best to give you some unsorted headcanons. A lot of this will be explored in my AU specifically once I get to it lol. Also some of this might be contradicted by canon because I unfortunately cannot rewatch the series until my brother is ready to bc I promised. hope I can give you some good inspiration though!

- I think he's pretty tech savvy and good with computers. Probably cares a lot about his appearance online, maybe more than his appearance in real life.

- He definitely gets a lot of stuff for his collection that are (supposed to be at least) magical artifacts, but he also buys novelty items, taxidermy, weapons, old junk, etc. Basically anything he finds cool.

- Was actually planning to buy the old house (y'know, the one with the portal door that I think the wittebanes used to live in?) and turn it into a sort of research facility for himself away from everyone else. I imagine in canon he would've been really mad when he heard the Nocedas bought it.

- I personally think he has always been into theories and had a few weird beliefs, and the fixation started off harmless enough but it ended up escalating to the degree it was hurting other people and himself when he got a picture of the owl beast and moved to gravesfield.

- Speaking of above in my AU he is mostly influenced by a group of people online and radicalized if that's the right term. Most of them are a lot like him and just.. heavily misinformed. Basically his beliefs got more and more outlandish over time to the point where it impacted his everyday life and the people around him. He sees them as his friends though. They play DND. Yippee.

- Masha and him are related as I said before, Masha pretty much sees him as an uncle. I hc they'd actually hang out at the historical society with their friends once they got back from camp, and Jacob would show them and their friends his collection sometimes but he probably wouldn't let them touch anything.

- Masha and him bonded over their shared love for cryptids.

- In the canon timeline I hc Masha cut him off after finding out what happened with Vee and Luz. Pretty sad but honestly kinda deserved.

- Personality wise I think he can come across as kind of an asshole but he doesn't really realize that he's doing it. He's gotten better at it since he got his job, but his only interactions with someone could be arguing and he'd assume they're friends when the other person hates him.

- When interacting with other people if he assumes someone doesn't like something he does and wants to appeal to them he'll simply lie and say he doesn't. I hc he kinda has a problem with lying about himself and putting on different personas with people.

- Projects onto Philip a LOT because of his own experiences with his brother and it's one of the main reasons he fixated onto the story of the brothers wittebane so much (will go into more detail in the AU on this one, don't wanna spoil too much)

- Undiagnosed autism and ADHD. Because every character I like needs to be autistic (joking) I feel like he doesn't get it checked out because he thinks "well I don't have a problem functioning so there's no way I have that kinda thing"

- Definitely into the fantasy genre with the whole renaissance fair thing. Likes DND and probably game of thrones (I know nothing about game of thrones so I can't talk about it more lol) I also think he's into the owl house universe's equivalent of pokemon + MLP but that's more on the downlow.

- Does not like birds. Even if he didn't think they were spy cameras (which he does) they still freak him out. Masha has a pet pigeon and he hates it.

Ok, I'm probably gonna go to bed now but these are the ones I can think of. Thank you for the ask and I hope I gave you some good ideas ^^

[mapleleavesart]

11 & 25? 👀

11 - share something your proud of

Hm ... Well, I haven't been able to draw in the past 2+ months so I don't have art to share... I haven't done much irl recently, either.

I guess just, how much I've developed and grown over the years? Both as a person and as a writer/artist. I can feel my brain thinking differently than I used to. Sometimes when I see an interesting color I immediately imagine a color wheel and start figuring out where that color would be. I'm much more responsible and organized than ever. And kinder. I never had good role models growing up, so I never really knew the difference between being "nice" and being "mean". I started focusing on being kinder a year or two ago — making sure to compliment people, banishing rude/mean thoughts, focusing on the good stuff, and learning to keep my mouth shut. It's worked, as I'm sure you can tell 😅

25 — talk about some of your OCs

Ohohooooo I should n o t be allowed to answer this type of question haha h a a a a

I have. Many. For Rise specifically, the big ones are Sakura and Mei.

Sakura Kamagati is a mutant tuxedo cat. I need to update/revamp her lore and design but she was my first TMNT OC. Her 2012 version (of version lmao. I watched 2012 before Rise) is called Panthera and is a melanistic jaguar/black panther. Panthera is the genus name of jaguars, tigers, and leopards. I may or may not keep Panthera for Rise Sakura, I'd have to do something with it (online name, perhaps?). Sakura is very intelligent, specifically crafty. I'm actually writing something for her for once... I've only ever written for Mei lol. Sakura is Japanese, and is still learning English to varying extents. She's very blunt and chews on her claws when nervous/anxious (which is a lot). Sakura was originally just a self insert, but she's grown and developed a lot over the years! She's obsessed with plants and moths and loves the sky, be it sunset or midnight stars.

Lady Li Mei Tian is a yokai. I have some (outdated because I can't finish anything lmao) one shots on my AO3 (link on my masterpost). She's a kirin, and there's a lot of lore for her/her kind that I can't spill in case I do write and post about it in the future. She likes to paint, read, and crotchet. She has complicated ties to Draxum and is a love interest to Mikey. They both give each other a feeling of freedom from the burdens of their families and traumas. Her father has a lot of influence in the Hidden City, and although American yokai don't have royalty, her father's status makes her similar to a princess. She is a very powerful magic user due to her heritage as well, and in the bad future timeline she helped teach him how to harness mystic power. She was born in France due to Circumstances but her parents are Chinese/Japanese (depends on where you look lmao)

I have some art of her, if you check my tag Mei Tian or look through my art master post. (She's also due for a redesign/design update)

[lavenderandlaurel]

okay wow that sure was march, huh. some good things and some not-so-good things.

good stuff:

visiting a friend in a nearby city and seeing the mountain goats! also bought more books than I needed and ate some divine vegan bbq

being back in chicago, if only very briefly

finishing a blog post for my main professional organization, which should go live this week

feeling like I'm making steady progress in bouldering - I'm working on a v3 problem that's likely to be taken down before I solve it, but I've gotten so much farther on it than I expected

reading a lot this month: 7 books overall, with a shoutout to roller derby by michella m. marino

doing a big clean of the house over the past week and really noticing the difference

s t r e t c h i n g. more of this next month

practicing piano semi-regularly! it's always such a struggle to sit down at the keyboard but once I do I remember "oh yeah this is fun"

journaling more

practicing chinese on my own while the conversation group I'm part of takes a little break. it feels like some of the new concepts and vocab I've encountered this year are starting to sink in

getting so into heaven official's blessing again even though I've been dancing around the fandom for ages, and on a related note,

writing 8000 words of a new fic that I simply cannot stop thinking about

less good:

on my trip earlier in the month I also visited my hometown at the same time my mom's family was visiting and man! do they get on my nerves

since I got back I have been in suuuuch a cooking slump. rip

my first major exhibit since starting this new job opens in two months and I am fucking stressed about it. it's a guest curator doing the majority of the research and writing the panels, but I am responsible for editing, making the interactives, acquiring all the image rights, doing the evaluation, securing the object loans, and ultimately making sure visitors have a good and interesting time. I'm still figuring out how this team works, how long different things take, and when things need to be ready to be handed off to other people, and I feel like I'm making a giant mess out of it even though it's probably fine. such a good :) opportunity :) to work on my default perfectionism :)))

relatedly, my anxiety has been through the fucking roof in the past few weeks to the point of making me physically ill. weirdly, this doesn't help me get anything done to relieve the task-related anxiety

I have basically done no work at all on the historic preservation side gig this month, which is a problem. however, I did pick it back up again this weekend and managed to make some progress. trying to be nice to myself about it

finances. augh.

[storiesofateenager]

career

Young Dreams

When I was young, I had the normal kinds of career "dreams" on top of dreaming of fame. I vaguely remember wanting to be a police officer for a while. I've always liked science, and I was pretty into space as a kid, so I wanted to be an astronaut at one point too.

I talked a little bit about my dream of fame in my post about social media, but this has been a dream since I was really little. I've wanted to be an actor, a singer, an influencer, all the things. I did local theater for many years, up until I went to middle school. I'll expand on this more later in this post.

Confusion

When I began high school, I started to realize I actually needed to seriously start thinking about what I wanted to do. Even in my freshman year, I was panicked about my future and my career. If you read my post about anxiety, you know I've always been irrationally anxious about things that don't make sense to be anxious about. Freshman year was one of those times for me. Not because it was a transition into a new school with people I didn't know and a building that I hadn't learned yet, but because it was a milestone. I had to start being serious about my life and taking steps to build to the place I wanted to be.

I ended up being pretty lucky because the classes I had helped me a lot with figuring that out early. Usually, people have no idea what they want to do until about junior or senior year of high school (so it's normal if that's the boat you're in). But because of my classes in my freshman year, I started to get a general idea of what I wanted to do.

Beginning of Interest in Career

During my freshman year I took a class called Intro to Business. It taught about basic financial stuff and career stuff. One of the projects we had to do was research a career, create a slideshow, and present it. We had to research the salary, education needed, basic description of the career title, and other in-depth concepts relating to the career we chose. I had no idea what to choose because we were supposed to pick a career that we would be interested in, and I hadn't figured any of that out yet.

I ended up just choosing a psychological career because I knew I was interested in science but not chemical or physical science. I chose counseling, otherwise known as therapy. I had had experience being in therapy in the past, so I decided it might be an interesting topic to research. After doing all of the research, maybe more than was needed for the project, I found that I truly was interested in it. My experiences with therapy hadn't been that great, and I came to realize that I would be happy contributing to the good side of therapy and becoming a therapist that would actually help people.

After that, I decided that I should start taking steps to achieve my goal of becoming a therapist. I chose to take psychology and sociology my sophomore year. My psychology class didn't pique my interest quite as much as I had expected it would. It was more about the physical aspect of the brain and the effeets that different environments have on the physical brain. However, my sociology class was amazing. It was more about social concepts and human behavior rather than physical effects. We talked about beauty standards, herd mentality, etc. and the teacher did an incredible job with all of it. Through taking these two classes, I learned that I was disinterested in the physical aspect of people's brains and more interested in how people's brains are conditioned to behave.

More Confusion

Although these classes helped me understand my interest, I began having more interests during my junior year. I realized that my general dream for a career would be an influential one. Something that would change lives and help people.

I had an incredible english teacher (who was also my drama teacher) during my first semester who changed my life and perspective in a lot of ways. She taught me how to be confident in my skin, that people can be good but do bad things, that not everything has to be so black and white. She taught me so much more than english and drama. She was the first teacher I had ever had that genuinely seemed to care about every single student, even the ones who she didn't get along with. I had a lot of bad days during that semester, and she was always the first or only person to notice and check in with me. She honestly saved my life by doing that. Because of her, an interest in teaching sparked in me. It was a great way to seriously influence people's lives while also doing something else I like to do: teach people about things they don't know about (specifically SCIENCE!).

On top of that, she was my drama teacher and did genuinely teach me a lot about theater, TV, and things like that. She has done many, many theater productions (some completley solo!) and has been in underground shows and films. Again, she taught my class a lot about the business aspect and real life as an actor. Through that, I realized that I also had an interest in being an actor again. However, the live theater aspect of the class didn't interest me as much as being on TV and in movies did. And again, it was a perfect mashup of influencing people and doing something I liked: acting.

During this time, I was really panicked again. I was switching between what I wanted to do and now I was a junior in high school. My friends already had their plans set for their lives and I felt like I was falling behind in that aspect (don't worry, i figured it out before the end of the year).

First Job

Still during the first semester of junior year, I got my first job. A friend in one of my classes had reccommended a place that she worked at because they were understaffed and she was related to the owner. I applied to be a busser, interviewed, and got the job. It was a restaurant that served bar food. I ended up being a foodrunner instead of a busser, which meant my entire job was just bringing people's food to their table. It was a seriously stressful job, which sounds really dumb and whiney, but hear me out. I was the only foodrunner, even on weekends when it was crazy busy. Sometimes I wasn't able to carry food to tables fast enough and the line cooks would get mad at me because the food was burning under the heat lamps. I usually had to ask the owner to help me run food because it was too much for just me to handle (especially since I was new). I was working crazy hours, definitely illegal for my age, and usually wasn't able to take a proper break during weekend shifts because it was so busy and there was no one to take over for me. I was barely even able to see my family because I was working straight after school until late night, so my parents would be asleep by the time I got home. On weekends, it was even worse because I was working morning to late night.

Although I was making really good money for a teenager, it wasn't worth the emotional distress. I broke down in the car with my mom because of how much I didn't want to go to work and because of how much anxiety, depression, and general stress it was causing me to experience. Even she agreed that it was a little much for a teenager to handle (she might be a little biased though, being that she's my mom). She convinced me to put in my two weeks notice and get out of there. For context, this was after only two or three months of working there. Quitting before getting too entangled with the job and people there was honestly the best decision I ever made.

College

Figuring out where I wanted to go for college was really hard too. For a while, I didn't even think about college. School began to get really hard for me and I started to think that it just wasn't my thing. That's junior year of high school for you. For a majority of the year, I truly had my mind set that I was not going to college and I would just figure something else out. I gave up on my dream of being a therapist just because I felt that I wouldn't be able to do that much school to get there.

However, towards the end of my junior year, I started going to therapy again. My therapist has been so wonderful and perfect for me that my interest in therapy began to grow again. I also started doing better in school and started being more disciplined and able to keep up with it. With that, the motivation to go through the 8 or so more years of education started growing too. So I decided that I definitely would be going to college.

Current Dream

Currently, my plan is to dual enroll during my senior year to do my gen eds online and get them out of the way early. That way, when I leave high school, I can transfer to a different community college, live on campus, and get right into the good stuff in my major, which will be sociology. The full dream is to work up to getting my master's degree and fully become a licensed therapist. This way, I can change people's lives and generally contribute to the betterment of society, even if only a tiny bit.

Final Thoughts

I think my experience with figuring out my future is pretty common among teenagers. A lot of people don't truly know what they want to do until late in their high school years. Even then, it's really common for people to change careers or majors once they start getting experienced in it and realize they don't love it as much as they thought.

If you're currently in high school and are worried about finding that career that really interests you, don't stress yourself out about it too much. Take different types of classes to explore different fields and start doing research about the different careers that your friends/peers are interested in. You will figure it out. Even if you're out of high school and still don't know, you will figure it out.

[thatoneidiotdts]

Billy Hargrove and Eddie Munson poly relationships headcannons/story idk at this point

I would say 18+ but then I would be a hypocrite so uuuhhhh 16+ ig, should it be labeled 18+? yes. but ill be a liar before a hypocrite.

A/n: hello ladies and gentlemen im officially back as it has been a full year and few days since i've posted something is here I am posting about the current crushes I have. Also make sure to comment!

Note: in some cases the reader will be either amab or afab, Reader also uses they/them pronouns in this. Ill try my best to make the reader as race neutral as possible but as a white person I might not do it in the best way so please if you see me make a mistake notify me so that I can correct it. Also reader is a hella rich person with dead parents and a giant log cabin, important to the story.

WORDCOUNT: 8.5k words /30 mins read time

WARNINGS: Bringing up past abuse, Neil himself again, bullying, blood, fights, sex, mentions of sex, Billy being a little bit ooc, emotions, breakdowns, mentions of drugs

How it started

Eddie and you have been semi dating since the summer before your fourth year. It was never anything really serious, it was more like good friends with benefits. The benefits being sometimes kissing and romantic cuddling and sex but that's it, you pay him for the last thing, he told you a million times you don't need to but you always do, because you simply can.

He did catch feelings for you but was too scared to admit them

You hoped he would pass this year but you knew all your hopes were in vain as he barely passed last year even with your help

On the first day of school you could hear a very loud car pull up somewhere in the school parking lot, probably a flashy, loud, sports car. Either a new kid joined or someone won a small lottery, you didn't care enough to look behind you.

You entered the classroom way earlier than any other student normally would and sat in your usual seat. Soon more and more students entered the classroom and filled the seats from back to front.

The bell rang a minute after the teacher entered the classroom, she started reading out all the names. She soon read out a new name, while you surely couldn't remember all the names, you were at least familiar on hearing all of them except this one.

At that someone entered the classroom, everyone looked over to see who it was, it was definitely no one you recognized. "Ah speak of the devil. Class this is our new student, would you like to introduce yourself?"

She asked and he smiled and introduced himself, William "Billy" Hargrove, moved from San Francisco and is 18 years old. You could hear all the girls melt at the sight of him, it annoyed you if you were being honest. You wouldn't deny that he wasn't handsome, but that handsome? No.

You could see the way he eyed the classroom, you could smell the fake smile on his face. Guessing from the way he dressed, he was surely a typical attention seeking bad boy, maybe someone could finally be Steve's competition.

"How interesting! There should be an extra seat next to miss/mister/mx (L/n) right over there." Of course she would sit him next to you, she expected you to help him out, like they don't teach anything in that sunny California.

After a few minutes of the class out of the corner of you eye you could see a paper being thrown on your desk. "So (L/n) huh? What's your name?"

Of course he was bored, you didn't expect anything better. You pulled out you note book from your previous year, after pulling out a paper you responded back.

"The name's (Y/n), I'll borrow you my old notebook so that you can copy it somewhere. I recommend you do. Ms. Cambell is a real devil when it comes to knowing stuff from the previous year, comes with being a chemistry teacher I guess. Don't get used to my help please, I already have enough idiots begging for it."

After putting the note in the notebook you handed it too him, the semi surprised look made it worth just a little bit. You didn't get a single note after that, he probably figured you weren't that impressed my him.

Soon the class ended and everyone gathered around his desk, asking him a million and one questions he barely have the time to answer. You could hear one of the students gasp "Is that (L/n)'s notebook?"

Oh no

Everyone looked at you with a very surprised look, god did you hate Tommy H. What a prick. "Dude what did you bribe them with? Last time I asked they didn't give me shit"

"Well I'm my defense you had time and the ability to write it down, he's the new kid so I'm cutting him some slack, you guys get enough help as it is."

Everyone groaned at your words, they knew how strict you were with your notes and other school stuff. Out of the corner of your eyes you could see Billy smirk. Smug son of a bitch, you knew he was gonna use that argument to get you too help him and you knew it will work.

After your final class was over you walked out of the school and into the parking lot, at this point you just wanted to go home, first days at school were almost always the worst, and today it seems like its the special kind of worst.

That idiotic jerk Tommy was yelling at Eddie probably for some wildly absurd thing, as you got closer you could actually make out what the idiot was saying, you should have expected it honestly. It was again about how 'demonic' dungeons and dragons was.

"Tommy I swear to whatever is playing dolls with this universe I'll never help you in spanish again if you don't let the poor guy go until he graduates"

He tried to protest you but a single look from you was enough to shut him up. You grabbed Eddie by his hand and stormed off to your car. You could feel him try to catch up to your walking pace.

"Hey you know you can slow down a bit right? your car won't run away!" he said as you continued with your fact pace. in less than a minute you reached your car.

You look him straight in the eyes, you could feel your face become warm "Do you need to be some where today?" He scratched his head in confusion "No? Why are you asking?" and then it clicked for him, his face suddenly became red, his whole body language changing. "Well why didn't you say so babe?"

He said as he got into the passenger seat, you groaned in annoyance as you got into the drivers seat, turned on the car and finally left the damn school parking lot. The road through the forest was nice, no cars in sight, no worries.

Suddenly you could feel a hand on your upper thigh, slowly going more inwards but still waiting "Color?" He asked "Green" You answered. Eddie smirked as he started to palm your sex through the fabric.

All you could do is focus on the road in front of you as best as you could, sometime you wanted to pull over and finish everything then and there but you knew he wont be all that pleased with that, you both preferred the privacy of a bedroom.

You tried your best to not let out a sound but from time to time something escaped from your mouth. Maybe you couldn't see him but you knew damn well he was enjoying himself while teasing you like this.

The drive to your place was finally over, as you parked your car the two of you quickly got out and walked over to the front doors. You didn't really worry about someone seeing you, your butlers and maids were having afternoon tea right now.

The two of you quickly walked up the grand staircase and got to your bedroom, locking the doors after yourself.

You didn't know how much time passed by now, a good while surely passed as you realized how close the sun was to the line of the horizon. You slowly got up from the bed and out of your jacket pocket pulled out a packet of cigarettes.

Your body was not surprisingly aching from the previous activities, your legs slightly shaking and your ankles and wrists sore from the rope he used.

Opening the balcony doors you put an extra pillow on your chair and sat on it, soon Eddie joined you. After he took a cigarette from you the two of you enjoyed the sunset in silence, sharing a few words here and there.

After the sun went fully down and the blue hour started you got back in and put a few hundred bucks in an envelope, you weren't paying attention of how many you put in nor did you really care. When you tried to hand it to him he quickly tried to reject it like he always does.

But after some time you got him to take it, like you always do. He started to dress himself with the clothes that were messily thrown on the floor as you plopped yourself on the freshly made bed, you knew exactly who re made it after completely wrecking you.

"If you need a drive home ask Jeremy, and please be safe" you said as he walked up to your bed and placed one final kiss on your lips and walked out off your bedroom, softly closing it after himself, you quickly fell asleep after that.

School was hell like always, the first two months were finally over and November was starting which only could mean one thing, preparations for the pre-Christmas holidays exams. This was one of the worst times of the year for you, constant begging for help and tutoring when it was obviously too late.

The semi rich kids offering to pay you, not knowing that u truly don't need the money, the popular kids promising that they'll get you into their circle, the basketball players promising you a shoutout on their next big game, it was all so annoying.

You spent so many of your lunches in one of the bathroom stalls, hoping that no one would find you here and yet they did so now you started to hide under one of the less used stairs with Eddie by your side and yet you were found again.

You almost screamed as a somewhat familiar face entered your field of view. It was Billy, he said hi to you and Eddie and sat down next to you like nothing happened. This wasn't a surprise for you, the three of you actually became friends but mostly only on the school grounds.

The three off you only went out to get food twice but you could see that he was slowly putting down the 'bad boy' mask when he was in your company, but you knew why he was here and before he could ask you something you already had an answer prepared for him.

"No I will not tutor you I have a shit tone of things too do already without counting the sheer number of people who asked for tutoring, you had your time to learn now suffer the consequences"

"I just need help with algebra and precalculus its nothing major I promise! And I can pay you." he said, if you didn't know better you would see the little smile on his face as innocent but of course you knew better. Eddie was holding back a laugh behind you.

"For the last time I don't need the money and if those things are the 'only' thing you don't know that also means that you don't know at least the last three to five lessons! It'll take me at the least 4 full hours to explain it all"

You swung your hands wildly for just a moment to emphasize how stressed out and mad you are but out of the corner of your eyes you noticed how Billy flinched, and it wasn't a small flinch at that.

You decided to not comment on it, making it seem like you didn't see it. This intrigued you, you wondered what would cause this behavior, you decided to push your luck.

After letting out a sigh you gave in "Fine, but it can't be at my place. is yours ok, today after school?" You watched as his whole body became a tense. "Ah umm are you sure we can't go to a park somewhere? I just need to drop off my sister and I'm free from then"

Eddie raised an eyebrow "It is pouring outside?" His eyes darted back an forth as he broke the eye contact, he probably forgot about it. "Ooh yeah right! I guess it's my place then..." Billy sounded a little bit like a kicked puppy right now and tried his best to play it off like nothing was wrong.

You tried not to feel bad, if your concerns were really true you could help him and his sister. it will surely be a giant breach of privacy but he might understand later on. "Alright, I'll follow you with my car to your place"

After that you handed him 10 bucks "Could you go get me some snacks from the vending machine, you can also get something for yourself" He took the money and nodded, the moment he was gone you quickly pulled out your walkie talkie from your bag.

"Kimberly are you there?? over" You hoped she would respond quickly like she always does "Right here miss/mister/mx (L/n), over" You let exhaled in relief "Could you please cancel the meetings I have on 20th and move the todays ones on that date? Over"

"Of course, do you want me to pass on some excuse for you? over" You thought for a moment before answering "No need, just tell them about the change of plans, over and out" you said as you quickly put the walkie talkie back in your bag.

Eddie looked at you with a vey confused look on his face "Isn't that the very very veeeeeryy important meeting you've been stressing over for the last month or so??"

You sighed and nodded and Eddie squealed in excitement "Someone has a cruuuush!!" Your face became flaming hot as he said that "You have a crush on him too!!" You said defensively, maybe a bit to loudly too. He didn't deny your accusation and just laughed.

Not even three minutes later Billy was back with the snacks, after he sat next to you he handed you back the change and the three off you talked and enjoyed the snack until the end of the lunch break.

The bell of the final class finally hit as everybody got up to go home, you and Billy walked out together, luckily your cars were parked right next to each other today. "Will Max be late today again?"

He groaned at the thought, he truly hated when she was late, but luckily she wasn't today. In the distance you could see the little girl on her skateboard. She quickly picked up her skate board and put it in the trunk of the car.

She smiled as she said hi to you, and of course you smiled back and returned the gesture. Once Billy's parents made him take her with him when he was going out with you and since then you two became friends.

When the two of you finally drove off you followed his car all the way to his house, you tried your best not too groan at the thought of having to park on the street, a whole street down none the less, like he did but you were given no other choice. And of course you had to walk all the way back again.

The house was quiet and nice, quite minimalistic with decorations but still nice, and yet, there was no warmth in this house, not physically of course, their heating worked just fine.

There was no family like warmth in the house, hell your own home had more warmth and your parents were dead and you don't have any blood relatives that you know off. You were raised by your butlers and maids, drivers, tutors and many more, and yet, you have a house that is a home, this is no home.

Billy showed you his room, it wasn't too small nor too big, there was workout gear in the corner alongside large loudspeakers, a twin sized bed, a nightstand, a closet, rock band posters and more stuff here and there. nothing short of what you would expect from him.

You could see some damage was done to the door and to the wall, hell there was evidence of damage from different kinds of impacts all throughout the house, you wondered if all the 'fights' he got himself into were actually abuse.

He closed the door behind you as you plopped down on his bed as you pulled out your textbooks and notebooks, he brought a chair closer to the bed and sat on in. You started to explain the first lesson, it wasn't anything complicated for you, the same couldn't be said for Billy.

It took you two full hours to explain the first three lessons, he was finally catching on as you started to explain the fourth, sometimes he looked bored and sometimes he looked like he was actually paying attention but you were glad he was at the very least trying to understand.

Soon he started to take clothes out of his closet "Sorry I have a date lined up soon so I have to get ready. You can watch if you want" He smirked at you as he started to take off his shirt and unbuckle his belt.

You quickly turned around, feeling your face become extremely warm. Did you want to watch? Debatable. Did it feel like a giant breach of privacy even though he gave you verbal and clear permission? Definitely.

Lets be real if you are masc presenting he would call you a slur but its pride month so I'm making him a bit out of character

The ten minutes it took him too change were completely and awkwardly silent , at least they were for you, he probably didn't care. "Alright I'm done" You finally turned back around.

Your face became even warmer now, he definitely didn't take up the number one spot of the most handsome man you've ever seen. The tight jeans made his ass look so much better, his shirt showed just enough of his chest and that earing pulled everything together perfectly.

"You look..great" He snickered at the sight of you being so embarrassed. He suddenly stopped in his tracks, the room becoming dead silent as you became more confused by every passing second.

He quickly grabbed you by your arm and dragged you over to the side of the door "Stay here" He quietly whispered as she gently pushed against the wall. Suddenly there was a knock on the door. He took in a deep breath before opening it.

"What's wrong?" He was clearly annoyed, someone answered, probably his father. The moment they mentioned that Maxine wasn't in her room your anxiety got worse, you hoped she was ok. Billy claimed she probably went to the arcade or somewhere but that she was probably fine.

In the reflection of the mirror you could see his father move closer to him, if you could only warn him. "You were supposed to watch her" A thirteen year old? At thirteen you were signing important documents and held meetings by yourself, she was probably fine alone.

Billy gave him a good excuse, the were in fact more than three hours late. The more you listened to his fathers voice the more you wanted him to shut up. After some more arguing Billy turned of the music following it by saying that she isn't his sister.

Suddenly there was a loud bang, you almost jumped out of your own skin. There was another sound, a punch, out of the sound of your own heartbeat in your ears you could barely make out what they were saying, but you could hear him force Billy to apologize.

"Neil, really its okay-" Neil, you will remember that name for later "No, it's not okay, nothing about his behavior is okay." Hypocrite "But he's gonna make up for it, he's gonna call whatever whore he is seeing tonight" The definitely earned him another punch from you "And cancel their date"

For a moment you tuned out what they were saying and looked around yourself, there was nothing near you that you could use as a weapon, you looked in front of you, your backpack, closed, filled with heavy textbooks.

It could be useful, a good hit would surely knock him out or at least stunt him which would give you time for you and Billy to run. In that moment you realized how bad of an idea that was, for now it would solve some problems but not long-term, he could easily say you kidnaped him and Max and make the police forcefully take them away, no matter how much you wanted to you couldn't play hero in this situation.

"Isn't that right?!" The words snapped you out of your thoughts, there was some muttering you couldn't hear after that "Yes, sir" you could hear in his voice that he is about to crack "Find Max" the fuckhead said and finally left, after the door clicked closed did you finally got up.

He snapped his hand to the side and cupped his face, you could hear the quiet sobs he was trying to keep in. You slowly approached him, you made sure he knew you were in front of him before putting your hands on his forearms.

You slowly pulled them away from his face, giving him a chance too decline the gesture, the look he gave you broke your heart, he looked like a lost child. You wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him bury his face into your neck, softly crying into your shirt.

After a few minutes he pulled away, letting you go. You quickly got one of his bags and started to fill it with clothes, without shame you put in some boxers and socks alongside a few shirts and pants. After the bag was full you grabbed a two or three of his jackets in your hands.

"What the hell are you doing?" he was obviously confused "What does it look like, I'm packing your stuff, should be enough for a few days. Until he fully cools off I don't want you here, it's obviously not safe" You pulled out a piece of paper out of your pocket and gave it to him.

"On it is my address and a code, you'll need it to get in. As soon as you get max home go there, don't get back in here, I don't want to know what he will do to you. Do you want me to get Max's stuff as well? Is she safe here??"

Your worry warmed his heart "He won't hit her, she'll be fine" He said as he opened one of the windows. Before jumping out you hugged him one last time "Don't do anything rash please" you said as you let him go and jumped out, speed walking to your car never felt more stressful.

As you were driving home you stepped by Eddie's place. You knocked on his window and he quickly answered, you were right about him almost never sleeping. He quickly got out and got into your car and you drove off.

He could see that something bad happened, he decide that he would wait for you to say something. For the entire ride the two of you were quiet, while you were getting to your bedroom you were quiet and for the next hour and a half you were quiet as you sat on your bed.

After a while you started to talk about everything, about how you noticed signs, how you agreed to tutor him, how Billy's father treated his own son, how irresponsible the fucker was and then blamed Billy for his consequences, how you wanted to be a hero but couldn't.

"I'll hire some private investigators and then ask Benny to take guardianship over them, and then ill pay whatever judge to keep that twitchy little man behind the worst pair of bars America-no, the world has. I'll re open the god damn Alcatraz if I have to Eddie!"

You spewed pure venom as you paced around your room, cigarette in hand, already planning the man's painful execution "You can't just throw money at a problem you know? It may just make the things worse" You knew he was right, you hated that he was right, but he was also a little bit wrong.

"At this one I can! And I will gladly do so, that disgusting pig will be behind bars in no time! Hell in two calls or less I can order this man's death like a pizza! God I should have made my presence clear maybe then this shit wouldn't happen"

Eddie grabbed you by your shoulders and almost shook them as he looked you in the eyes "(Y/n) you are NOT above the law! Just because you can doesn't mean that you should. What if he wouldn't recognize you, not everyone knows how important you are"

He was firm with his words, he was worried you might actually order the man's death like a simple pizza just because you could which could throw you into legal trouble. You looked down in defeat, trying to make sense of what he just said.

Eddie pulled you into a hug, lightly rocking you back and forth "I know you want to help, I do to, but bribing someone may not be good for Billy or Max, have you thought that maybe they don't want him dead, behind bars sure, but dead?"

You didn't answer his question, the only thing you could do was sob and accept that by the end of the day you were just a mortal human being like he was, like Billy was, like Neil. like everyone. He gently rubbed your back as you cried.

After what felt like an eternity he pulled away and took the cigarette from your hand and extinguished it. He took your hand into his and slowly guided you to your bed, before you laid down you took one of Billy's leather jackets.

Your bed was a large Alaskan king sized bed and yet you tucked yourself to the side closest to the wall. His jacket smelled of cigarettes, cologne and his musk, it was different from Eddies but equally as comforting.

Eddie laid down besides you, letting you cuddle up to his side, nose still buried In Billy's leather jacket, Eddie could smell it too, he liked the way he smelled, he was always well groomed, used deodorant and cologne, unlike a typical highschool boy.

He decided to stay up in case Billy showed up, you did mention that you gave him the code and the address to him. Eddie hoped he was okay.

Billy opened his eyes as he tried to understand where he was, he was still on the floor, he could barely remember what happened, he found a note besides him 'I got home myself, I'm fine -Max'. He looked at the clock next to him, it hit 1AM just a few minutes ago.

He stumbled as he got up, still clearly under the influence of whatever the hell was in that syringe. He felt his pockets for his key and quickly got them. Walking felt like an entire workout, and driving was even worse.

If it was normal daytime he would surely have a car crash by now, he could barely drive straight. It took him a full half an hour to drive to his house. Suddenly he remembered your words 'don't get back in here'. He should have probably listened but he needed to know if Max was home.

He noticed that the lights in the house were on, he almost prayed for his own safety in that moment. When he stumbled into the house he could see Neil on the couch, obviously waiting for him.

Before he could say anything Billy asked him "Is Max home?" Neil said that she was but that wasn't the point now. Billy nodded and turned to walk out the door but before he could Neil stopped him by roughly grabbing him by his neck and throwing him on the floor.

Billy didn't know how many times he has been kicked and punched. it was a lot, more than usual, nose and lips bloody, traces of blood on the floor. He could barely breathe by now, his legs and arms were numb from the pain.

He could feel his hands on his neck again. Neil dragged him to the porch "Now ill give you a week to do whatever the hell you want and when you get home you will be the nice big brother to Max and you'll take your responsibilities more seriously okay?"

Billy could just nod as Neil kicked him for one final time before he got back in the house, locking the door behind him. Billy laid on the porch before attempting to get up, before he could get on his knees he fell down again, groaning in pain.

It took him three or four tries before he finally got to his feet, he slowly dragged himself over too his car. Everything was extremely fuzzy and his head was spinning, he felt like he could vomit any second.

After he started the car it took him three too four minutes too get his act together and drive off, he didn't know if he should speed off to get to the address sooner or should he take it slow so that he doesn't die on the way there, he decided that the second option would be better.

It took Billy a full half an hour to get to the address when it would normally take maybe eight to ten minutes. At first he couldn't believe that he was at the right address but the sign told him otherwise. before he could enter some guards stood before him.

"Code?" They didn't aske why the hell was he here in the middle off the night or why was he beaten to a pulp. He gave them the paper as the guards looked at each other. The guard waved to the one who was behind the gate.

All of a sudden the large gates opened and the guards motioned him to drive and so he did. There was a parking lot on the right side of what looked like a giant mansion he parked his car near yours. Getting to the front door was a pain in the ass, he was shocked when the guards just let him in.

The inside of the mansion looked larger than the outside, he couldn't believe that this was your house. He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice behind him "You're here for miss/mister/mx (L/n) correct?" Billy nodded in confusion "My name is Benny Adams, I'm one of the butlers who work here, do you want me to show you where miss/mister/mx (L/n)'s room is or will directions be enough?"

After a moment of thinking he answered "Directions...please" The man nodded and started to explain where your bedroom was, third floor, hallway on the right, second door. It was easy enough to remember, climbing those stairs sure as hell wasn't.

He was finally at your door, he knocked lightly, not expecting you to be awake, he was surprised when Eddie opened the door for him. Eddie looked at him in shock as he quickly pulled him in. After he told him to sit down on a chair he quickly went to the bathroom.

A moment later he returned with the first aid kit and a clean towel. With the towel he gently cleaned off any cuts on his arms and face, making sure to not re open any of them, after that he used some alcohol to make sure everything was completely clean.

He was surprised when he saw how calm Billy was, he just let him take care of him. Eddie started to talk softly about something, Billy didn't really listen, he wasn't sure if he even could. Eddie looked nice like this, soft, caring, a little bit worried, he made Billy think thoughts he thought he never would.

He knew he was still very much under the drug's effect, but he just couldn't contain the feelings inside of him. He leaned in and put his head on Eddie's shoulder, almost hugging him "I like you... but I also like them.. I'm confused"

Eddie's face became red at his words, while he did feel the same now he was sure that Billy was under the influence of something, a drug probably. He placed one pf his hands on his head, combing Billy's curly hair with his fingers.

"Did you take something, some drug?" Billy shook his head but then gasped "Yeah! Max drugged me with....something? I don't know, it was in a syringe. It hurt like hell" Eddie was confused "The syringe or the effect of what was in it??"

Billy giggled "The poke, I swear like haaalff of it was in my neck" Eddie panicked at that and quickly but gently lifter his head to reveal his neck, he quickly found the entrance point and gently massaged around it, trying to feel if maybe the tip of the syringe snapped somewhere in him.

Billy definitely misunderstood what was Eddie trying to do, he completely leaned into his touch, if he could he would probably be purring right now. "look who's getting handsy" Billy said as he wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist, pulling him closer.

After a minute Eddie was sure there was nothing in his neck, he sighed in relief as he looked at the face of the man in front of him. There was an unsure look his eyes, like he wanted to do something but wasn't sure if he should.

In his mind Eddie tried to understand what drug did Billy take, until a few minutes ago he was probably also high on adrenalin, that's why he was waaay more relaxed now. it was probably some party or sleeping drug, but how did Max out of all the people managed to do this to him?

Eddie snapped out of his thoughts as he could feel someone poke him on his temple. "You think waaaay tooo much. But (Y/n) takes the number one spot in that, they also think too much, nerds" Billy giggled as Eddie stared at him in confusion, trying his best not to laugh at his words.

"Alright big guy lets get you to bed" Eddie said as he got up and walked to the bed, halfway there he realized that Billy was still on the chair, he gave him a confused look as he mumbled "I don't think I can stand"

He let out a sigh as he walked back to him, he kneeled in front of him with his back faced towards him. Billy somehow understood what he was trying to do. he wrapped his arms around his neck as Eddie placed his arms around his thighs.

Billy 'weeee'-ed like a little child, quietly as Eddie picked him up, god he was heavy which wasn't a surprise, he was a hunk of pure muscle after all. After he placed him down on the bed, before he could go to his side of the bed Billy suddenly grabbed him by his forearm.

He pulled him towards himself, holding him close, Eddie could see what was Billy trying to do. Eddie looked at him in the eyes, god he will regret this. Billy slowly leaned in, closing the space between them, pressing their lips together.

To Eddie it felt exactly like how it felt kissing you, magical and breathtaking. Eddie deepened the kiss, pulling Billy impossibly closer to him, stealing his warmth. He pulled away as Billy's head dropped down to the base of his neck.

He let him place a few hickeys here and there before he pulled him away "You're clearly under the influence of something, I don't want to do anything to you that you might regret later" Billy whined but nodded as he got under the covers.

Eddie snuggled up besides you again, he laid on his back as he watched Billy on his side of the bed. Soon he groaned in annoyance and crawled over to the two of them and snuggled into Eddie's side and then covered all three with a blanket. It took almost no time for the two of them to fall asleep like this.

You could feel the sun hit your face before you even opened your eyes, Billy's jacket was still in your hand and Eddie was still by your side. You slowly opened your eyes and looked at the clock on your desk, it read 08:22

You slowly sat up on your bed and yawned. It was finally Saturday, you could feel and arm wrap around your waist, pulling you back to bed "Eddie I have a meeting at 10:30" you mumbled into his neck. He groaned as he let you go "Good morning as well"

You slowly got out the bed and walked into your closet, you picked out some more professional clothes for the meeting. After placing the clothes on your table you walked out on the balcony, it would be freezing if it weren't for the greenhouse instalment you hire someone to put before every winter.

Skipping the chairs you walked over to the pomegranate tree that still had some ripe fruit. Sorry if you hate or are allergic to pomegranate. After picking five of them you walked back into your room, you placed them on the tray in the dumbwaiter.

You took a paper from the notepad and wrote what you wanted to eat and drink "Hey Eddie what do you wanna eat this morning" a moment later someone responded "Waffles and hot chocolate" that wasn't Eddie.

Shocked, you quickly whipped your head in the direction of the voice. On your bed didn't just lay Eddie but also Billy, cuddled up to his side. "Billy!!" you exclaimed in joy as you jumped on the bed to hug him. "Thank god you're safe! When did you get here?"

He could barely answer your question, his head throbbing from the drug and the hits his father gave him. Soon you realized there were more bruises on him then from the last time you saw him. "He hit you more didn't he"

Billy didn't want to look you in the eyes, he could only nod "I had to check if Max was okay, ill explain everything later" He said as you looked at Eddie "Ill have the same as him" you smiled as you placed a kiss on each of their foreheads before returning to the paper.

Alongside everything you ordered a few bags of ice wrapped in kitchen towels, after putting the note down on the tray you closed the door and pressed a button so that everything can be sent in the downstairs kitchen.

You walked over to the telephone in your room and dialed a number, it took him longer than usual to respond, given it's so early in the morning. "Uh yes hello?" Ah, finally "Good morning doctor Turner. It's miss/mister/mx (L/N). I sincerely apologize for calling you this early but I will need an appointment, not for me, sometime today. What's the earliest you could be here?"

After a few moments and a few sounds off pages ruffling and the doctors grumbling you finally got an answer "The earliest I can be here is 10AM sharp, will that work with you?" You were very satisfied with his answer "Yes that would be excellent, thank you for your time on such a short notice, farewell" You said as you broke the call.

You sighed tiredly as you looked at your schedule for today. meeting 10:30 to 12:00 and then another from 15:00 till 17:00 and then you needed to work on your speech for an another event next week. You groaned as you dropped down on your bed again, whishing you could stay here forever.

After a few minutes you could hear the dumbwaiter bell ring, the food was here. "Get up guys food's here." Both of them groaned and slowly rose from the bead like some zombies. You took your food and drink with the large bowl of pomegranate seeds and placed it on the table outside.

The three of you ate in silence, enjoying the morning rays of sunshine that reflected off the horizon, the sky still having an orange pink like gradient.

After a while the three of you finished your food and sat in silence, still tying to wake up. Eddie was the first to break the silence "Do you remember that happened last night?" Billy looked in the distance, obviously deep in thought, then his eyes widen and his face became bright red.

Billy looked down, trying to hide his bright red face "Yeah..." He mumbled, for a split second he looked at Eddie's neck, the hickeys were definitely still there. Eddie was the first to admit that he liked both of you romantically, followed by the two of you admitting the same.

It took a lot of talking, the three of you discussed about the bad and good thing of a relationship like this, you discussed what you considered cheating and what not, setting boundaries, what you wanted to do with your lives and other stuff, in the end you concluded that this relationship, if kept secret, would be great.

While talking you and Eddie held the bags of ice on Billy's bruises, now that the bruises fully formed he looked worse than yesterday. At first he watched your moves like a hawk, obviously not trusting you, but soon he relaxed, not fully but it was a step to a better path.

"Never thought i would get myself into some hippie shit like this" Billy said as the two of you laughed at his joke, you looked at your watch as you almost screamed, 9:49 "Billy go get some clothes and wait for doctor Turner downstairs! I need to rush" you excused yourself as you run to the bathroom.

After taking care of some things you could hear them leave through the door "Ill be with Billy! Good luck with that meeting" Eddie loudly said and shut the door behind them, you sighed with a smile on your face as you continued to get ready.

The two of them got downstairs a minute before ten and sure enough the doctor walked in through the front door the second the clock turned to 10. Mister Adams showed them where the doctor will examine Billy.

It was obvious he had trouble walking, limping, almost hopping on his good leg. Eddie offered him help but at first he refused, almost fell down, twice, and then finally accepted defeat and let Eddie help him.

After they finally got to the room the doctor started to examine him. They did the usual stuff, taking blood samples, checking his eye movement, reflexes, sensory functions, coordination. Everything was going fine until he stared to check his leg.

Luckily he was done rather quickly as it was clear that it was beaten pretty badly, after the doctor was done he sat back into his chair and looked at his notes for a moment or two "Well the good news is that per my estimate there shouldn't be any long-term to the brain or your knee but i will order a CT and MRI scan for your head and an X-ray for the knee."

Both Billy and Eddie sighed in relief "But if you play any sports, forget about it for the next month and a half, your knee hasn't crossed the 'will never be the same' line but it will if you don't stay in bed for said time period."

Great, just great, Billy could feel like half of his world crash down. There are not one but two important big games coming up that he will have to skip. Eddie tried his best too comfort the now angry man as the man packed his stuff and left rather quickly.

After a few minutes they got back to your room, Billy decided to take a nap while Eddie sat on the balcony, as soon as he sat down the phone rang. Annoyed, Eddie answered the phone "Hiiii, this is Kimberly, their highest majesties' personal secretary, they wanted me to let you know that they wont be having lunch with you because they needed to switch up something in their schedule, Toodeloooo"

Eddie was left in confusion as the woman on the other end broke the call, Billy let out a hum, wordlessly asking him what's going on "They wont be having lunch with us, schedule switch up or something" He said as he laid down on the bed next to Billy and feel asleep next to him.

It was somewhere around 1PM when the two of them woke up, after some time they decided to order themselves lunch in the same way you did. After eating they went back to bed but neither could fall asleep again.

Eddie took Billy's hand into his, there palms resting on his chest as he traced his knuckles with his thumb. "Do you want us to help?" Billy looked at him in confusion "You don't need to stay with them Billy, I know it feels like you can't leave, but you can"

Billy looked at the ceiling, he didn't say a word "If you only heard what (Y/n) had to say about your dad! You would be rolling on the floor, out of all the things they called him a twitchy little man and a few other choice names"

He snorted at that, twitchy little man, it didn't fit his father at all, he will remember it though. He looked Eddie in the eyes, as if he's waiting for him to ask him something. He sighed as he squeezed his hand.

"Do you think you're ready to talk about what's happening at home?" His questions wasn't out of malice but out of simple curiosity. Billy looked back at the ceiling then after a minute or two of thinking he shook his head.

Eddie nodded and smiled "That's alright, when you feel like talking just know that both of us are here for you" he said as he brought Billy's palm to his face and placed a kiss on his fingers then at the base of his palm.

His hands smelled of cologne and cigarettes, nothing out of the ordinary. Billy for the first time in forever fully let his guard down. It almost felt like a trap, like its all a ploy just for you and Eddie to make fun off him. He wanted to back away, to just leave, to never see either of them again.

What will his father say when he fids out about his new relationship? He knew all hell would break loose. Maybe he should just break up with both of you and go back home to play the nice older brother like his father wanted. He probably would if he could.

Maybe his father would finally stop hitting him. He did it because he was nothing but a rebellious teenager and he needed to beat some sense into him. It was all his fault.

He flinched as a hand cupped his face, scaring the living shit out of him. "Are you ok dude??" Eddie asked as Billy finally snapped out of his thoughts. "I know you don't want to talk about it but whatever is happening to you is not your fault, normal parents don't hit and kick out their children when they are mad at them."

Billy let out a sob, one after another. He wondered how did Eddie know what to say at that exact moment, like he had read his mind. His shoulders shook with his sobs as he curled into himself, hiding his face out of shame.

Eddie sighed as he cautiously put his hand on the man's shoulder, letting him decide if he wanted his touch. Billy violently pulled away, scared of the intention behind Eddie's touch. He stared at him cautiously as he tried his best to stop crying.

He reached his hand out again, this time so that Billy can see it. First the hand cupped his face an with its thumb brushed his tears away. Slowly his hand moved on pass his jaw. Billy could feel his hand play with his curls at first.

This was it, the moment he pulls his hair like his father often does, this is the moment he yells at him for being a crybaby, for being a softy, for ever being so naive and thinking anyone would ever love him and offer him help.

But it never happens, Eddie never does anything like that. He just continued to play with his hair, softly scratching his scalp and combing his hair with his fingers. There was no malice in the nature of his actions, only the need to comfort him.

It shook Billy's worldview a little bit, the last time someone touched his hair like this was his mother. The night before she left him, it all felt a little bit too familiar.

He slowly opened up his arms and tried too say something but his own sobs wouldn't let him and yet Eddie understood him perfectly. He pulled him closer too his chest and let him cry out his pain and sorrow, and soon he started to cry too.

Thank god the second meeting was over way before it was supposed to, a whole hour earlier none the less and since you finished the speech during lunch you were completely free until Monday hits. You almost skipped out of happiness back to your room.

You slowly opened your door not expecting to see both Billy and Eddie crying their eyes out. You quietly got out of your business clothes and slipped into your pajamas. You quietly approached them and when they both saw you their eyes suddenly got a specific shine of happiness in them.

You laid down behind Billy, spooning him from behind as his face was still buried in Eddie's chest. You softly kissed away each of their tears and dried their faces with your sleeves. After you were done you kissed both of them all over their faces. When you saw that both of them have finally stopped crying you turned off all the lights and made sure both were tucked in.

Billy could feel his heart swell with love and joy for the first time in forever. He would never admit it of course but he finally felt wanted somewhere, not for his looks or charm or popularity but for simply being himself, not for the typical bad boy stereotype Billy, but for one who needed help and comfort, for the one who was simply just a little bit lost.

[killemwithkawaii]

Okay, so, I sometimes ageregress and I think Sal would too tbh. If you don't know what ageregressing is, it's basically age play without the sexual undertones (dressing up, being in the mindset of a child, having childish interest but more like an episode, you are still a functioning adult). Since Sal didn't get to be a child for that long because of the accident and bullying he could be a child with me as an adult fbjsicjsjsj

It would be so adorable to see him play with action figures or having tea parties with his s/o and plushies TvT

And Larry would be probably really chill about that too. Just imagine lil Sal talking really excitedly about his favorite color and Larry being like: "Woah, dude, that's so sick. Blue n pink really are special my guy"

It would be so adorable drzhdgjg >v<

I've actually answered an ask about Sal being an age regressor! Here's some more headcannons about it:

Sal as an age regressor-

[CW: SFW age regression/ little space, mentions of past trauma and abuse]

>This is likely something Sals therapist recommended when medication wasn't quite cutting it for him. Now that Sal's an adult and has the power and competence to make his own decisions, age regression could be a way for him to reclaim that part of his life where he was put into bad situations and didn't have any sort of control over how things turned out. He can use it as a tool to try and experience some of the childhood joy that was robbed of him when he was actually a kid in a safe and comfortable setting, free of grief, trauma, bullying, hospital stays, and adults with substance abuse problems.

>I'd expect him to regress to around the age he was when he got his injury to a few years older (a general range, probably not a specific age).

>It would probably be really hard for him to get into the mindset. Letting down his guard and forgetting about his self-consciousness and personal baggage takes a lot of practice, plus acting like a kid can dig up some bad memories by association. Most of the time, he half-regresses- not too big to relax and enjoy himself, but not too small to defend himself and snap back to being 'big' if need-be.

>He'd be EXTREMELY hesitant to let anybody know about his age regression or see him regressing, let alone be his caretaker, because it's such a vulnerable mindset to be in (he got enough shit when he was actually a kid, he doesn't need anybody judging him for acting childlike on top of all the other stuff people judge him for as an adult). Gizmo is the one exception, since he's been a major source of comfort for Sal since he was an actual child.

>A fellow age regressor would have better luck catching a glimpse of Sals 'little' side. He'd love to have someone to hang out with that likes video games and cartoons as much as he does!

>His friends DO find out (because he's a horrible liar). Larry finds the concept a little weird at first (because he was always encouraged to 'grow up'/ 'be a man'/ etc.), but totally gets it when he and Sal go to catch frogs at the lake or do some finger painting together and he sees Sal let loose like never before. Ash takes it in stride (it feels just like when she and her little brother were kids) and loves Sals genuine enthusiasm for doing craft projects with her and playing out dramatic storylines with her 'little dudes'. Todd goes down a rabbit hole researching the phycological mechanisms behind age regression and its applications in therapy, and is happy that Sal is using healthy coping mechanisms in tandem with his medication to help improve his mental health (he also gives Sal all the computer games that his parents gave him as a kid).

Also:

Me 🤝 Sal "Pink and blue are the best colors (we'll be in our blanket fort if you wanna fight us about it)"

[gildedmuse]

Not to get too sappy, but in the last two weeks I've gotten three different All Hearts related Asks, two (!!) For Sora: Warrior Of The Sea stuff, and one of both my old Kendo Rivals series and my Different Crew AUs.

I don't know if this is one person who has just now found this blog and is like, "ehh, really feels like this person needs an ego boost", or if it's some kind of group conspiracy to see if anything short of titanium shelled nukes can break my snarky and caustic exterior but, you know...

Keep it up, it's totally working.

No, actually, it's honestly really nice to hear people are still interested in me finishing/continuing these things. I'm gonna try and respond to the prompts/asks for content that some of you sent (for the others: while I would love to turn Sora into an actual fanfic, no, for now it was just a sort of wild headcanon between @nat-tea-n-coffee and me; yes I am still working on All Hearts I promise it's just been a hard few years health wise with the last one being particularly fun; you'll just have to wait and see, won't you?) and actually already started. So hopefully by the end of the week I'll have two up at least.

If I don't get to it, I promise I'll try. And also, *grumble* as much as I despise being sincere, it's actually really nice to get the asks. So, you know, thanks.

[Yeah, I take compliments about as well as Law takes suggestions from loved ones that he should forget about revenge and go on living instead.]

It occurs to me I should post this with something so there's at least, err.... Something

The Surgeon's Blade

An All Hearts Short

Trafalgar Law doesn't have to announce his presents for Zoro to know he's coming.

There is a cool wind at Zoro's back, not quite the harshest gale of midwinter but a wind that tickles the back of your neck and makes all your muscles go tense. It leaves a chill that goes right through your chest even as the sun beats down upon and carries along a warning.

The storm is approaching.

The footsteps are light and careful - the foot work of a swordsmen who knows how crucial each and every step can be when it comes to outmaneuvering his opponent - and keep a careful pace. Not slow, not fast, but even. And along with that level sense of direction, of purpose, came a heaviness.

Soft steps with a world of weight behind them, that made them echo even in their steadiness.

Zoro hums as he closes his eyes, and he can see the fall of each one of Trafalgar's boots. Click. Clack. Click. Clack.

Today, they met that navy ship head on. There hadn't really been a reason for the fight, even Zoro recognizes that much. They'd been cruises under the waves, they likely could have slide past the battleship without incident. That had been Bepo's plan. Zoro had been sprawled out on the floor of the control room, head resting on the polar bear's thigh.

This tin car of a ship doesn't have a lot of places to nap, not unless you want to be tripped over and shoved awake every few minutes by someone rushing somewhere, like anything is gonna go far when they're all trapped down in this damn metal boat anyway! But Bepo doesn't ever seem to annoyed by Zoro being around, and besides, the bear makes for a far comfier place to sleep then the cold metal walls or the echoing hallways of the Polar Tang.

Besides, at least with Bepo, Zoro never feels like he's in the way.

Zoro's only been here a few weeks, but he's already decided he won't bother calling this place home. For starters, it's too cramped, not enough fresh air and sunlight. And where's he's suppose to practice? Trafalgar hardly even let's him swing a blade when they've submerged, and to Zoro it feels like they're always underwater. He doesn't know if the rest of the crew particularly likes him. Whatever, he doesn't need them to like him, since he's not planning to stay that long. Zoro's only here because Trafalgar asked him to come along, and seeing as the pirate had saved Zoro's ass from those damn, lying Marines he figured it was the least he could do (Trafalgar had said he didn't have much of a choice, but that isn't true; Zoro always has a choice, he makes sure of that, just because sometimes one choice is stupider than the others doesn't mean he couldn't take it if he wanted) so now he's sort of stuck here. Until, well, he guesses until he's done what he needs to do.

Trafalgar promised he could take him to The Grand Line, which meant getting closer to the war lords. Once he was there, Zoro figures he can find his own way between the islands. And he can find each and every one of those monsters. He can strong them the way they so carelessly destroyed everything....

His hand tightens around the handle of the old, worn down katana. The one he'd picked up while running from the guards, back at the mine where he'd been kept prisoner. His fingers tense even as he works on polishing the blood from the cheap, dull blade. It's hardly a master blade, it's barely sharp enough to call a sword, but with enough strength behind it Zoro has shown himself more than able to slit a man's throat.

He wipes the blood away with a frown, opening his eyes to find his own reflection angry at himself. He could, but he won't be able to if he makes the kind of stupid mistakes he had today.

Why hadn't he finished that asshole off? The jerk with the black katana, the one that's blade sang a joyous, bloodthirsty tune when it struck metal and bone alike? Zoro had been right there, he could have charged, could have taken the marine on to test himself. See how much better he was now that he's not weighed down by shackles and had some food in his stomach and-

There is a sharp, heavy thud on the metal of the floor, and the whole of the control room seems to ring out in a deep harmony. Zoro opens his eyes - doesn't remember closing them - but he isn't surprised to feel Trafalgar's presence beside him, like the steady, constant hum of the heart of ship itself.

There's a second song playing just below the captain now; something darker, older. Metallic.

Zoro just stares ahead at the black sheath, patterns of blood red and pulsing white traveling down the saya. The kojiri, a crown of gold.

It's melody like the quickening of blood through the veins, the song of the body right before it makes the finally strike.

It's hypnotic. Beautiful. Cursed.

"I found it," Trafalgar's voice is also dark, low, a sound that rumbles through Zoro's core. Despite the heaviness of the blade in front of him and the light, careless wickedness of the captain behind him they strike the same chords. A sort of promise that is drawn in the blood. "On the deck of the bird's ship."

Trafalgar doesn't exactly let the blade fall but he loosens his grip, enough that if Zoro hadn't immediately made a lightening fast grab for the scabbard it may have, for a second, have stood on its own and then started to appear to wobble. Only once Zoro's fingers are firmly tightened around the saya he feels this connection that runs all the way through him, the sword, up to Trafalgar as if they are connected directly to one another. He feels the pirate's muscles relax, only once Zoro has a hold on the sword does he properly let go. "It's better than the rusted out pieces of shit you carry, anyway."

"Captain...." Bepo sounds confused, shifting to turn to Trafalgar as he walks off, leaving Zoro seated on the floor, the gleam of the scabbard hypnotic, holding all his attention. "Err, captain, what about-"

It's not black, red, and white, he realizes. It's black, with a deceptive white strap wrapped around it, only the purity of the white has been dyed red, likely on the deck of the very same ship they just left to sink in their wake. Death given life in blood.

"Oi!" Zoro turns around, even as he takes the sword by the handle, let's himself feel the reality of it. It has a weight like he hasn't felt in years and a power that vibrates through his entire soul (it strikes different notes than Wado Ichimonji, and Zoro wonders if maybe he's asking from trouble, taking such a sword, and some part of him nearly bursts with his excitement to find out exactly what kind of trouble and to help it create even more). "What's this about!?"

Zoro has been in the North long enough to know you don't get anything, well, not unless someone is trying to get something from you. That isn't how anything works up here. Here, you are either a winner or a corpse. A fool or a king. A slave or a master.

Trafalgar doesn't turn around, so Zoro can't actually see the man's expression, but his smirk echoes around the chambers of the Polar Tang. "It's name is Hio Wakemasu."

"Hio Wakemasu." Zoro turns the katana around, inspecting it careful as he pulls the blade from it's sheath, the sound of metal a sort of music to his ears. He studies the pitch black blade, the almost blue going of the yakiba. In a few months he will know every scratch, every line, every slight variation and dip of weight as he makes a strike. This blade will be more like his body than any part of him. Then his chest or foot or an eye.

He completely misses that Law doesn't answer the question. Even if he did, Zoro wouldn't have heard. Everything goes quiet for those moments, as he holds the blade to the faint orange light of the control room and thinks, yes, this is the blade he will carry with him to the end of his road.

"Oh." It's only Law's voice that breaks through to him, Law's voice that sounds above the humming of the engines and pecky buzzing of the instruments, the rest of the Heath Pirates still chatting on, footsteps hurrying along in some other part of the ship. All noises Zoro is becoming more and more use to every day. "And Penguin says thank you."

"Hmm?" Zoro unconsciously glances towards Penguin's usual seat. Of course, for right now, Clione is in that place, and Marusa has taken Shachi's at the Den Den Mushi station while he stays with his friend on the infirmary. Probably still wrapping his arm up in bandages after some piece of shit slammed his foot down on it, snapping the bone.

He would have gone for Penguin's neck only he never got the chance. Not once Zoro had heard his crewmate cry out and came flying back around to put his old, shitty swords to the test.

Zoro just nods, his attention going back to the brilliant black metal of the blade. He can hear the steady, heartbeat rhythm of Law's steps as he heads back to the med bay to look after his friend. He barely ducks away from Bepo's warm paw scratching at his head. "Good job, cub."

Zoro makes a slight sound of disapproval at the nickname but doesn't put up a fuss, to busy inspecting his new sword. He wonders when Law's next reckless impulse will be, when he'll get a chance to use it next. He'll have to ask the captain of they can't stop at an island just for a bit. He has to practice somewhere.

After all, well, just look at the rest of them! Penguin and Shachi are always getting distracted with their own conversations, Uni can't even speak up for himself just mumbles and shrinks to the back, Kitne is too good natured to leave a wounded bird behind, the little guy Puffin won't even venture off the Polar Tang unless Penguin is all but holding his hand... And Bepo, Bepo's the worst of them. Sure, he's strong and good in a fight, but how can he always let himself be picked on so easily? It's honestly annoying, how much these people clearly need Zoro around.

[jaycewrites-192000]

Growl: Chapter 8

Warnings: None

Tag List: @theravencawsatmidnight @etroman @kaariqueen

Your P.O.V

For once, I was actually looking forwards to going to school. Thanks to Kyotani, I've become steadily more confident in my academic skills. It's not a huge step forwards, but, a step forwards none the less. My grades have been getting better as well, which was just a added bonus to my already great mood. I would have to really consider how I'm going to thank him for all his hard work. Maybe I'll take him out to eat somewhere he likes? Or maybe take him and Killer to a dog park? Or we could go to that new guitar shop that just opened up a well ago, he does play bass after all, maybe he'd want to check out what they had.

"Maybe he can teach me how to play too." I chuckle. Geez, this all was starting  to sound like I wanna ask him out in a date. It's not totally untrue. I would like to ask him out but, there's no way I could actually go through with it. I don't even think he likes me like that. "Man...this sucks. Why can't I just-" My words were cut short when I suddenly bumped into someone. "Oh! I'm sorry!" I quickly apologized. The person I ran into turned to face me, oh....great. "Uh, hey there...you?" I say awkwardly. "You? Really?" The person of, girl, I ran into was an old "enemy" of mine. "I think I've made myself known to you the last time we met." She spat as she placed her hand on her hip.

This was Chiharu Kumiko, also known as, "Oikawa's number one fangirl". She's hated me since the day I became friends with him, always thought we were dating or I had a crush on him. Which was the furthest thing from the true, and yet, she still had it out for me. "Yeah you did. Now if you don't mind, I need to get to class." I say as I try and walk past her. "Sure, "get to class". So you can hoe around with Oikawa-Senpai?" Ignore her, Y/n, ignore her. She's just trying to start a fight, a fight I will finish if she keeps pissing me off. "Bitch I know you hear me!" Kumiko grabs onto my arm and jerks me back. "Let go!" I snap at her, yanking my arm away. The commotion we were causing seem to attract a small group of people. Great, just what I wanted. Kumiko raised her hand to strike me, but before she got the chance, someone grabbed her hand. We both look back at the person who stopped her. "Kyotani?"

"What do you think you're doing?" I could tell Kyotani was furious. His voice was intimidating and his eyes narrowed. I was surprised he wasn't crushing Kumiko's hand right now, he was defiantly holding back. "The hell!? Let go of me you freak!" Kumiko jerks her hand away from Kyotani. Before she left, she turned to me, glaring daggers. "This isn't over, skank." With that, she storms off. I roll my eyes, my attention now back at the crowd, I hid my face in embarrassment. Thanks a lot Kumiko, you attention seeking bitch. "Problem!?" Kyotani snaps at them. The crowd eventually dispersed and continued on their own ways.

"Are you ok? Did she hurt you?" Kyotani asked. I shake my head, a smile retuning to my face. "Thank you Kyotani." I say gratefully. "What's that girl's problem?" He asks. "She has a thing for Oikawa and she thinks I do too."

"Do you?" That question kinda took me by surprise. I didn't know Kyotani would be interested in stuff like that. "No. He's annoying." That made him chuckle. 'Cute...oh right' I suddenly remembered, I still have to thank him. "Um, Kyotani. I wanted to thank you for helping me study. My grades have been getting better because of your help! So, I was thinking...maybe I could take you somewhere as a thank you. If you want to, that is."

"O-oh...sure you can if you want." Kyotani murmurs. "Really? Cool! Let's meet up after school ok?" Kyotani nods, I wave him goodbye before hurrying to class.

Your P.O.V.

I waited at the school gate for Kyotani, and I just could help but smile like an idiot the entire time. How could I not? I sorta, kinda, maybe just asked my crush out on a date, and he said yes! Now I just have to manage not to mess it up. "Just don't act like a creep. Shouldn't be too hard." I say to no one other than myself. "A creep would talk to themselves though, so I should probably stop." I sigh. I might have been ecstatic about Kyotani and I having a day to ourselves, but I was also super nervous. This would be my first "date" with a boy.

What am I suppose to do? What am I suppose to say? Maybe I should have a waited to go home and change, maybe do something with my hair. I shook my head, reminding myself that this is not a date. I'm just thanking him for helping me study. That's all. I can call it a date for when I actually gain the nerve to ask him out. "Hey." I gasp at the sudden voice. I turned to see Kyotani approaching. "Hi." I wave. "You ready to go?" He nods and walks beside me. "Um, so I was thinking." I began. "Maybe we stop by the new music store and then after we can grab a bite to eat? Anywhere you like."

"Sounds good." Kyotani simply says. The two of us made our way into town, talking the whole way to the music store. It looked like one of the newer ones in town, it has that new shine to everything. As we walked inside, I immediately felt out of place. Everyone inside the store was clearly a professional, and I knew absolutely nothing about instruments. But I had to admit, everything in the store looked amazing. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to pick up a music lesson, maybe I'll try the (favorite instrument). "See anything you like?" I asked Kyotani. I could tell he was already invested in the different basses they had. His eyes were glued onto the different colored, slick shinning stringed instruments. "Hmm...I don't really need a new bass. Maybe replace the strings on mine." I walk over to the basses to join him in browsing, when I came across something. Stickers. I pick a few and look them over, there wasn't really any that stuck out in particular, until I found one that couldn't be ignored.

"Oh! Kyotani, look at this!" I showed him a sticker of a Shiba Inu, it was growling and there was some foam in the corners of it's mouth, and a firey background behind the dog, yet it still had that cute appeal to it. I saw Kyotani's eyes light up. "It looks like Killer." He says as I give it to him. "Right? I figured you'd want to put it on your bass." I tell him. He looked over the sticker a few more seconds before nodding. "Yeah. I will." I smile brightly and reach into my school bag. I pulled out my wallet and counted out the right amount to pay for the sticker. "What are you doing?" Kyotani asks. "Buying it. You like it right?"

"I can't let you pay for it." I shake my head. "I don't mind. Besides, I'm treating you today, remember?" I take the sticker and approach the counter. "Just this for today." I tell the cashier man as I slide the money and sticker on the counter. He nods and rings up the sticker before handing it back to me. I turn back to Kyotani and hand him the sticker. "There you go. Now let's go eat, I'm starving." I subconsciously grab his hand and lead him out of the store.

Third P.O.V

Unknowing to Y/n, Kyotani felt his heart flutter and his cheeks warm. He felt like he had made a really good choice befriending her. Kyotani smiled slightly and wrapped his fingers around her hand. "Yeah, me too."

The two teens made their way to a small restaurant, Kyotani had suggested it, told Y/n that it was his favorite place to go. Curious about the place, Y/n was excited to go as well. The waitress lead them to their table and set menus in front of them .They both ordered and and the waitress held up a pen and notepad. "And would the lady and gentleman like the couple's special? 10% off your order and free desert." The waitress asks. 'Wow, that's one hell of a deal.' Y/n thought to herself. "We're not-" She cut Kyotani. "Gonna refuse that! Thank you so much." She clasps her hands together. Kyotani gives her a surprised look. "Lovely! I'll have that right out!" She took the menus and walked away. "....Y/n?"

"I didn't have that much money and it was a good deal, you have to admit...sorry..." Y/n mutters, looking down at the table. "N-no it's fine just...it was shocking." Kyotani says, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah..." Y/n clears her throat awkwardly. "I mean, seriously who would willing admit they're in a relationship with me?" Y/n blinks a few times, did she hear him correctly. She looks up across the table at him. "What do you mean?" She asks.

"Well, I don't get asked out a lot, if you can imagine." Y/n leans her head on her hand. "Really? You'd think girls would love a 'bad boy' like you." She giggles. "But really, you're not that bad Kyotani. People just has to get to know you." Kyotani shrugs. "I just didn't mind it as much before..." He trails off. "Before what?" Y/n asks. "Nothing. Forget it."

Y/n raised an eyebrow then leans back in her seat. 'Ever the secretive type.' She thought with a sigh. "Well, I think you're just fine the way you are. If others can't or won't take the time to actually know you, then that's their loss." She tells him. Once again, Kyotani felt his heart skip a beat. This was getting dangerous. Kyotani hadn't felt something like this, he never had crushes before. But this, it felt like more than just a crush. He hated the thought, but he could possibly love Y/n. Why he hated it was simple. Kyotani wasn't just 'not a ladies man', he wasn't a anyone's man. All his life he had better things to focus on, like volleyball, rather than stupid crushes and relationships that wouldn't last more than a year and a half.

So that's why this was so scary. Kyotani really really liked Y/n, but he couldn't stand the thought of giving up something he loved because of his bad habbits. Wether that something was volleyball, or even Y/n. She wasn't to blame. It was him. Kyotani wasn't the best of people. If he hurt her, in anyway, he would never forgive himself. So, it would be best, if Kyotani ignored these new feelings. For the better, for himself, and for Y/n.

The two were walking home together that night. Kyotani made sure Y/n got to her home saefly before saying goodbye. "Thank's for treating me today, even though you didn't have to." Kyotani tells her. "Aw, it was nothing." Y/n waved it off. "That's what senpai's are for right?" She winks. Kyotani gulped and nods his eyes. "Y-yeah. Anyway, see you later. Thanks again." He turned to leave. "Kyotani, hang on!" Kyotani was about to turn around to ask Y/n what she stopped him for, when suddenly she hugged him tightly. Kyotani's face turned a light shade of red as he felt her arms wrap tightly arounf his waist. Slowly, he raised his arms to hug her bag, but before he could she quickly let go and rushed to her door. "Goodnight!" She squeaks out before hurrying inside her home. Kyotani was left there alone, eyes wide with shock. His agaped mouth closed, and his arms dropped to his sides.

"...Damn it."

Previous | Next

[polyamorouspunk]

So I know that this isn't like strictly an advice blog or anything, but I was wondering if you could maybe give me some advice for my relationship? I'm polyam and there just aren't many blogs that'll take questions about it, so I'd appreciate a response even if it's just that you can't really answer my question.

Some background: I'm in a triad with two other guys (we're mlmlm and I love that for us) and I just absolutely adore them. They're two of the coolest people I've ever met and I kind of instantly wanted to be with them. I'm arospec, so that like literally never happens to me, and I was really surprised by how much I instantly vibed with them (the story of how we met and got together is fairly interesting, but not relevant to this). I've known I was polyam since I was a teen, but being arospec means that I haven't had many long term romantic relationships in my life, so I'm very excited to explore this new stuff.

My problem is that I'm just really insecure that I'm not good enough for them and that I'm just a third wheel that they're taking pity on. I know that's silly and it's just a combination of low self esteem and me internalizing toxic monogamy culture, but they're both so cool and have so much history that I'm just scared that I'm never gonna be as important to them as they are to me. N and H (that's what I'll call them for this) have been best friends for 12 years and have been dating for the past 3, whereas I only even met them a little under a year ago. And in terms of personality, N is so bold and confident and gregarious, and H is so witty and sarcastic and ambitious, whereas I'm just kinda... there.

I know they are attracted to me and want to be in a relationship with me, and I'm communicating with them about my insecurities, so mainly what I want help with is fighting the part of my brain that tells me that I'm just an unimportant extra to their lives. I want to figure out what of value I bring to the relationship and what makes me unique in my dynamic with each of them. I think that would help a lot, so if you have any exercises, or anything else that you think would help, I would appreciate it a lot!! Thanks so much!!

I would love to hear the story of how you met!

I also get having low self-esteem. I’m glad you’re already talking to your partners about how you feel. That’s the ideal first step.

And this totally is an advice blog! I love trying to help people: that’s why I’m here.

I look at things from a very borderline perspective. What works for me isn’t going to work for everyone else.

I have things that I consider “mine”. Like, my areas of interest, my shows, my books, etc. that I prefer others not engage in. I’m a very territorial person, but that means I’m able to bring things to the table that others I know maybe aren’t able to. However, one of the downsides to that is sometimes people aren’t interested in your interests and don’t really care to hear what you have to say about things, and would rather talk about what they like, making you feel left out. A good friend or partner will always listen and ask questions though.

You might be bringing them new relationship energy! I also know that whenever I gain an additional partner it makes me more aware of my current relationship and I end up using that new relationship energy or even new crush energy into being an even more positive partner and checking up on my main relationship. When I feel giddy from flirting with people I take that giddiness and turn it on my boyfriend and flirt with him and tell him how much I love him and how cute he is, etc. so when I’m feeling good, he feels good.

At some point in your life you’ve made a difference. We’ve all fucked up, and when you’re mentally ill it’s REALLY hard not to focus on those moments instead of all the good we’ve done. Just try to remind yourself if you can how much you’ve helped people, and how much you can help your partners by being there for them in the future.

Age old advice, but try your best to avoid self-deprecating thoughts. My mental health has been trash lately, especially the last few days, and my suicidal ideation and negative self esteem is through the roof, and I’m just constantly trashing myself and thinking about how bad of a person I am- and it’s easy because a few days ago I literally had people telling me how shitty and awful and bad I was and that I was selfish and childish- it’s not just my voice, it’s the voices of people I thought were my friends. I’m depressed, I’m in a rut, I don’t want to get out of bed, I don’t want to be alive, and every day is a fucking struggle. I’m trying my best to change things in my life to make myself even just a bit better- unfollowing certain people, remaking my discord, anything to avoid anything that’s going to make me feel even worse and try something. I know that no time soon am I going to be able to reorder my thoughts into something less self-deprecating/go over the horrible things that were said to me. But that’s an eventual goal. And even through all of that I make sure I don’t take any of it out on my partner. Because none of it is his fault and he’s been nothing but supportive to me.

Every day is a battle. Some days are good some days aren’t. I wish you the best in your mental health journey as someone who is right there fighting every day with you. Make sure you take care of other areas of your life so that those don’t weigh you down. Don’t ignore problems until they become too big to deal with, because that’s going to affect all parts of your life, including your relationship. And you are cool, I promise. Stay weird, stay sexy, and don’t get murdered.

[burningember0802]

Someone Like Me

summary : first, once again, i suck at summaries. Kaz meets a friend of Nina’s that he didn’t know about who is more like him than anyone else he’s ever met and that scares him more than he’d like.

It's a relaxing evening at the slat, or at least as much as it can be in Ketterdam. All the crows were sitting around a table talking and having a great night, even Kaz. He won't show it but he enjoys nights like this more than he'd like to admit. Nina and Jesper were laughing and talking about who knows what while Matthais sat with a loving smile on his face, Wylan and Inej sat talking about his newest tests, and Kaz sat just listening and watching, enjoying the time with his friends; his family. "Oh, Kaz! My friend is supposed to stop by tonight and drop off some things I asked her for so don't be surprised if we get a knock soon." Nina mentions. "You have friends?" He sarcastically said. "For a matter of fact, I do. She's amazing, I think you should meet her. She'd be a great addition to the crows. She's a fabrickator, both a Durast and an Alkemi. She is also the smartest person I've ever met, and the best fighter too. I've watched her and Matthais spar and she took him down in seconds easily. She's insanely good, Kaz. She'd be a great asset to the team. I think you'd like her too, she has similar interests among other stuff." She explains. Kaz thought for a moment before responding. "We'll see if I agree with you once I meet her." Nina thanks him with a smile and goes back to her conversation.

Kaz wasn't sure how he felt about the thought of bringing someone else onto the team. It was another person who could betray him, another person he could get attached to, another weakness. Not just anyone can join the crows, they had to earn it.

About half an hour later there was a knock at the slat door. Nina excitedly hopped up to get it. "It's her!" The heartrender almost squealed. The door opened to a girl, probably about 5'6 who has (H/L), (H/C) hair. She was gorgeous with a button nose that supported her thin-rimmed glasses, full lips, striking (E/C) eyes, and a curvy figure. She was wearing a tight green turtle neck, black pants, boots, and carrying a satchel on her shoulder. Kaz swears he almost felt himself stop breathing. The feeling he got when he saw her, despite not knowing her, scared him in a way he didn't like. He decided to push it down and continue on with the night.

Nina invited the girl inside with a smile that was returned by her. The girls walked back to the table where the rest of the group sat. "Y/N, the crows, the crows, Y/N." She introduced them all. Multiple greetings were heard around the table from everyone except Kaz of course. Y/N shyly waved with a soft smile. "I brought those things you asked about," Y/N said quickly changing the subject. She opened her bag and pulled out 3 boxes and set them on the table. She opened the first one which held a seemingly normal knife. "Here's the knife you asked about with the poison injection abilities. There are three vials in the box and there's one in the handle already. It injects a few drops upon impact, it’s potent so it will kill someone with just a few drops." Y/N said showing how to open the handle and where the vial was. She proceeded to open the next box that was full of bullets. "These are the bullets that explode upon impact you asked about." She said before setting them back down. You could see Inej eyeing up the knife and Jesper doing the same to the bullets. She finally opened the last box which revealed 7 sets of earpieces. "These are the earpieces, they have microphones in them to communicate from long distances." She almost mumbled, obviously nervous around all the people. Kaz had been watching the girl in shock the whole time she spoke. Nina didn't lie, she was insanely talented and would be a good asset.

"You're the best Y/N!" Nina exclaimed, making a quick movement to go to hug the girl. She quickly stopped when Y/N flinched slightly. No one else besides Y/N, Nina, and Kaz had realized it with everyone else too busy looking at the new gear. "Shit, fuck I'm sorry Y/N it was a mistake." Nina started apologizing profusely. "Nina, it's fine. Mistakes happen. I'm just a freak anyway." She said quietly. Kaz felt his heart clench at that. She was like him, she was anything but a freak though. "Anyway, I should probably get going." She said, staring at her feet. "You should stay for a while, meet everyone." Nina tried to convince her. Y/N was obviously apprehensive. "You should stay," Kaz said before he could stop himself. Both Nina and Y/N turned towards him quickly. Nina had a shocked look on her face, surprised that Dirtyhands would ever suggest that he wanted someone to stay. She thought for a second and smiled slightly and nodded.

The girl sat down at the last empty chair at the table, which happened to be next to Kaz. She immediately pulled into herself out of habit, bringing on her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around it, making herself as small as possible. Jesper and Inej immediately started asking questions about their new tools to which Y/N answered gladly. Kaz watched them contently, especially Y/N. She looked really happy talking about what she loved. Soon the conversations turned away from solely her after the crows had their fill of integrating. "Kaz, Y/N is the most knowledgeable person I've met about books, you guys have that in common," Nina mentions. Y/N glances at him with a soft smile. Everything about her made Kaz's fight or flight kick in. She was weirdly comforting but at the same time kicked on every instinct he had. He felt the need to run but also never move again. "What's your favorite genre of books?" Y/N asked the boy. Kaz missed having someone to talk to about interests like this, the rest of the crows weren't into things like this. Trying to make him comfortable she answers first. "I tend to read realistic fiction or fantasy." Kaz studied her face constantly looking for any signs that she wasn't genuine. "I like fantasy or mystery books." He answers. She gets a huge smile. He liked that, she had a genuine smile, that's rare in the barrel. Her smile was slightly lopsided and full of joy. "Mysteries are the best, I'm always on the edge of my seat. Sometimes I feel like I can't put the book down even when I have stuff to get done." She laughs. Kaz almost felt himself smirk. "Those are the best ones." He answers genuinely. "I just finished this amazing book, it's about the story of Achilles but from the point of view of Patroclus. It's called the song of Achilles and it's amazing." She says with a smile. "I'll have to borrow it sometime." He says. At that moment the two of them weren't even paying attention to the crows around them anymore, so they didn't see the knowing look from Nina.

The group all continued to talk and have a good time. Everyone liked Y/N a lot. Nina was accurate in her description of her. She was super smart and sweet. At one point they were talking about combat strategies and she was asked "What's the quickest way to win a fight?" by Jesper. Matthias let out a loud snort at that question, knowing the brunette's skills. "Are we talking immobilizing or killing? Those are two different answers." She says with a smirk. The girl had come out of her shell within the past hour and had grown more comfortable around the group. "Both?" Jesper said, confused. "For immobilization, the quickest way is to slice their Achilles tendon on the back of their ankle, if you do that they're not moving. Also, you always go for the eyes, nose, and groin, and if you use the bottom of the palm of your hand you can shatter someone's nose since that's the strongest part of your hand. Besides the Achilles tendon, the other easiest way if you know how to do it is there's a nerve on the side of your neck that if you squeeze right, knocks them out. Then if the purpose is killing you go for the neck, wrist, or thigh because that's where your main arteries are." She said matter of factly. Kaz almost laughed at how the girl said it.

That was the start of it all. Shortly after this first meeting Y/N started coming around more and more and everyone loved her, including Kaz. Kaz had started having more than friendly feelings towards her a couple months after meeting. The crows were eventually able to convince her to join so she was now living at the slat, making Kaz’s life a living hell. He felt like his heart was beating out of his chest constantly, and he knew that Nina knew this too with her heartrender skills. Nina was constantly giving him knowing looks and all he did was glare back at her. Kaz was drawn to her like no one else.

The two of them had become close over the last year, closer than most. They would often sit and talk for hours, a lot of times about books or anything else that came to their minds. Y/N was often like lightning in a bottle, constantly moving and going a million miles an hour. She seemed hyper and impulsive on the outside but Kaz knew she was very strategic and methodical. She was insanely smart, which she often used to her advantage to beat Kaz in chess to his dismay. Both parties had developed feelings for each other but both were too scared to tell the other because they’re idiots but the universe was going to find a way to get them together.

The heist the crows had tonight was insanely important. The group was supposed to go to a merchant party because while the merchant and everyone else was distracted they were going to steal a necklace that was held in the wife’s vanity room. The necklace was worth an insane amount of money so the crows took the task right away.

The only problem with the heist was that Y/N and Kaz had to be the two who had to fake being a couple at the party to keep the merchant distracted so the others could get the necklace. “We have to do what?” Y/N exclaimed when she found out her role. She felt her chest clench at the thought of being around that many people. “I need Inej on the roofs, Jesper on the ground as backup, Wylan as a waiter ready to cause a distraction if need be, and Nina and Mattaius getting the necklace so we’re the only two left.” Kaz grumbles, obviously not happy about the situation either. Both of them sucked it up for the money.

The night of the heist Y/N was the last to be ready since she had to wear a dress and makeup. She stepped down the stairs to where the crows were waiting. As soon as she stepped into the room there were joking whistles and screams from all the crows except Kaz. Kaz stood there in shock, his breath taken away. Emma was wearing a black dress with stars on it, a simple pair of black heels, several pieces of silver moon and star jewelry and finally topping it off with a few moon and star hair pins pinning back some of her hair. She looked gorgeous.

As they got closer and closer to the party both Y/N and Kaz became increasingly more nervous. “We don’t have to touch.” She says breaking the silence between them as they were dragging behind the group. “We have to and we both know it. If we don’t touch like a couple they’ll become suspicious. I know neither of us like touch but we’ll have to deal with it.” Kaz quickly responds, his voice rigid. She just nodded, not wanting to make this night worse.

Everyone got in their positions as soon as they made it to the house, leaving Kaz and Y/N near the entrance. Kaz hesitantly grabs her hand; he was shocked when he did. He didn’t panic as much as he thought. Kaz’s aversion was worse than Y/N’s for sure since hers was mainly quick movements and things related to abuse but Kaz’s was any kind of touch. All he felt was Jordie when he touched anyone, the stench of the air, the cold water around him, the stiff body he was clenching on to. He didn’t immediately drown touching her though, he felt the waters come up but they stopped, going no further.

As the two of them continued through the night the touches became easier and more frequent, it almost felt...real. Both of them deep inside wished it was. They wished the other loved them back. The two of them got many compliments throughout the night on how cute they were and questions about how they met among other things. The way Kaz would wrap his arm around her waist made her heart stop, the way Y/N put her hand on his shoulder and smiled at him did the same to Kaz.

Once Nina and Mattaius got the necklace everyone made their way back to the slat. Everyone was happy and ready to celebrate a successful heist except for Kaz and Y/N. They had a tension that wouldn’t go away. Both knew they’d have to talk about it or it’d ruin further heists but neither wanted to make the first move. So once they got to the slat both of them lingered at the door after everyone else. “Can-” “We should-” they both went to say at the same time. They couldn’t help but laugh at how in tune they were. “We need to talk about things.” Y/N says. “I know.” Kaz says, anxiety in his voice. “I like you Kaz.” the girl states plainly, shocking the bastard of the barrel. He couldn’t say the words he wanted to but he had to say something. “Yes.” was all he could manage out. It would sound stupid to anyone else but to Y/N and Kaz they both knew what that meant. “I can never touch you like you might want though.” He says anxiously. “Kaz, I have just as much of an issue with touch as you. Physical affection isn’t something I need in a relationship. If we really want to, we can work on our aversions together.” She answers with a comforting smile. Kaz nods,knowing she's right. “So together?” Kaz questions, trying to confirm that she is his and he is hers. She nods with a smile.

That was the start of it all. The start of the King and Queen of Ketterdam, taking it over together.

[oldanatomical-heartt]

¿Te encanto?

Wrote this when I was fourteen, so it’s a little cringey. Forgive me for any Spanish errors, I was only in my second year of Spanish and I’ve been out of Spanish classes for too long to go back and correct it :(

(Translations are in parenthesis)

Peter glanced at the classroom behind him from his front row seat.  He'd been placed there, right next to the teacher's desk, after he was caught too many times watching YouTube instead of conjugating Spanish verbs.  As he looked at his classmates' faces, looking at their phones participating in the review game, he noticed one girl in the back wasn't.  He peered around the boy slightly blocking his sight to see her, (H/C) (hair type) hair, spilling over the arms she was resting her chin on.

"Peter!" Profe Rojas called, Peter snapping his head back towards the front.

"Yes, Profe?"

"You haven't answered the past three questions, if you need this review for the test, I suggest you participate," the teacher snapped.

"Yes, Profe," Peter said quietly, even though he knew he normally got a hundred percent on his exams.

Peter answered a few more questions before Profe Rojas passed out the test and the class began to complete it.

Half an hour later with his completed test turned in, Peter sat at his desk twiddling with his thumbs, thinking of what might happen today. Unfortunately, the bell interrupted his thoughts of Spider-Man's adventures.  As he quickly gathered his papers and things, Peter looked to see if the girl was there, but she had already left.  Peter sighed and was about to leave, when his teacher caught him on his way out.

"Peter," Profe Rojas said, making Peter turn.

"Yes?" Peter grimaced, afraid of the lecture he was about to receive.

"Lo siento, I forgot that even though you can sometimes be a delinquent, o un estudiante muy perezoso, you are very good at Spanish." (I'm sorry,  I forgot that even though you can sometimes be a delinquent, or a very lazy student, you are very good at Spanish)

"Oh, than-"

"-try again," he interrupted.

"Lo siento. Muchas gracias Profe, estudié mucho." (Sorry.  Thank you very much Profe, I studied a lot)

"Bueno, hasta mañana Peter." (Good, see you tomorrow Peter)

"Adiós!" Peter called over his shoulder as he jogged out of class.

Rushing back to his locker Peter shoved his homework into his backpack, before racing out of the school doors and into the streets of Queens. Turning down an alleyway Peter dug through his backpack to pull out the Spider-Man suit that was hidden underneath all his books. Quickly changing behind a dumpster and then webbing his backpack to a wall, Peter was off, making his daily rounds.

The rest of the day went by without anything of much interest, retrieving a stolen purse, catching underage teens drinking beer, playing some kickball with some first-graders. Exhausted, Peter came home and easily went through his homework, before sitting down with May for dinner and then going out for his uneventful nightly rounds, before returning home for bed.

The next day couldn't have gone by any slower for Peter, who upon entering school caught a glimpse of the girl from the back of Spanish class. He didn't know what it was about her, but something about her was drawing him in. Each class drudged along, Peter watching the clock until fourth period. Finally, when the bell rang Peter breezed by a confused Ned on his quick-paced route to the A rooms. Despite his attempt, Peter had just walked in the door when the bell rang and was quickly ushered into his seat.

"¡Buenas tardes mis amigos y amigas! ¡Hoy es viernes, viernes, viernes!" Profe Rojas enthusiastically announced to the class, stretching the e in buenas and repeating 'viernes' like a sports announcer. (Good afternoon my friends!  Today is Friday, Friday, Friday!)

The class collectively rolled their eyes at Profe Rojas's attempt to seem cool, this was not the first and definitely not his last attempt.

"I've graded your exams, and to the majority of the class, muy bueno!  Ellos  estudiaron, correcto?" Profe asked with a smile as he began handing back the tests row by row. ( I've graded your exams, and to the majority of the class, very good!  You all studied, right?) 

"Unfortunately, some of you did not do as well as I hoped you would.  If you have a note written on your exam, please see me after class," Profe said, looking directly at Peter.

Peter started to sweat, he thought he did good on the test, he knew almost every answer, but maybe he didn't. Anxious, he began twiddling his fingers as Profe finally reached his desk, the last row.  He almost ripped the test when he grabbed it from Profe's hands.  To his relief and confusion, on the top of the test next to the name slot was "100% Muy Bueno Peter ¡Congratulaciones!" (100% Very good Peter Congratulations!)   Peter leaned back and let out a sigh as all of his fears quickly hit the floor.  Peter glanced at the girl in the back and noticed she had her head in her hands with her hood over her head.

"(Y/N), no veo tu cabeza," Profe said, which made the girl look up. ((Y/N), I can't see your head) 

She looked like she was thinking, for a moment, when Profe tapped his head where her hood was.  She slowly nodded, removing the hood.

"Sorry," she said softly, so quiet Peter wouldn't have heard if he wasn't paying attention.

"En español por favor," Profe corrected. (In Spanish please)

"Oh, uh, lo siento." (Oh, uh, I'm sorry)

"Bueno!" Profe called, but Peter didn't hear him because all he could think about was how he now knew the girl's name. 

(Y/N).

Class went as usual, now learning demonstratives.  All throughout the lesson, Peter kept glancing back at (Y/N), as she seemed in a daze as she followed the lesson (much like Peter).  The bell ringing startled Peter, as it suddenly seemed to do that a lot recently.   Peter didn't know what he was going to say, but he knew that he wanted to introduce himself to (Y/N), as she had not left yet.  Furiously stuffing his backpack Peter was about to make his way over to her when Profe Rojas called him over yet again.  Peter sighed frustratedly as he tried to appear neutral to his teacher.

"Peter! Hablé con tu tía and she approved my proposal." (Peter!  I talked with your aunt and she approved my proposal)

Peter shifted from one leg to the other in discomfort as Profe Rojas continued.

"You see, some students are having a bit of trouble in class, no comprende los lecciones, y necesita asistencia para aprender".  (You see, some students are having a bit of trouble in class, they don't understand the lessons, and need help to learn.)

"Okay, I don't understand, I have an A in this class..." Peter said.

"Sí, sí. Estas correcto.  Your aunt told me you'd be available to tutor those students who aren't doing so well, and she thinks it'll be a better use of your time than what she says you already do."

Peter shifted again, slightly nervous about his 'mysterious whereabouts' with Aunt May.

"Then I don't have much of a choice, do I."

Profe laughed slightly at Peter's reply, "Not really, no."

"Alright then, who will I be tutoring?"

"Me."

Peter whirled around to see (Y/N) there, glancing from the floor to Peter and to the floor again. She awkwardly clung to the straps of her backpack and slighting rolling on the balls of her feet.

"(Y/N), isn't doing so well, I was hoping you'd be able to help her understand the lessons better," Profe said.

"Yeah yeah, sure, uh, when would this start?" Peter asked, suddenly anxious.

"You free today? Like right after school?" (Y/N) asked, staring at Peter's shoes.

"Uh..." Peter thought for a moment.

He wanted to make his daily rounds right after school, but he also wanted to meet with (Y/N).

"Yes, I am," Peter stated.

"¡Excelente!" Profe cheered, "Escribo permisos para ustedes".  (Excellent!  I'll write passes for you both)

Peter and (Y/N) stood next to each other, awkwardly waiting for Profe Rojas to fill out the passes, one for the library after school and one for them to get to their next class on time, as the passing period was almost over and students were already filling the previously empty desks.  They kept stealing glances at each other, quickly looking away once they made accidental eye contact.

"Bueno!  Now hurry to class, don't misuse those passes," Profe said, and as Peter and (Y/N) exited the classroom they could hear a faint "Excelente! Buenas tardes mis amigos y amigas! Hoy es vierrrrrrrrrrrrnes!"  (Great! Now hurry to class, don't misuse those passes//Excellent!  Good afternoon my friends!  Today is Fridaaaaaaaaaaay!)

"Sorry about this," (Y/N) said, motioning to everything with her hands.

"It's er- totally cool," Peter replied, trying to figure out what to do with his arms.

"You sure?  I mean my failing grade is now a burden to you, and your probably secret girlfriend," (Y/N) said casually.

"My- my what?" Peter stammered, caught off guard by (Y/N)'s statement.

"Your aunt thinks tutoring will be a better use of your time, and you're not in any sports, and a dorky guy like you probably doesn't have much of a social life, no offense, of course, so probably no scandalous parties or the like.  Which means you're probably sneaking off to do stuff, which means you have a girlfriend that you're hiding from your aunt, or y'know you could secretly be that Spider-Man dude or something," (Y/N) said, laughing at her joke, which received an awkward forced laugh from Peter.

"You caught me, I'm sneaking off, but I don't have a girlfriend."

"Really?" (Y/N) responded, genuinely surprised.

"Yes really, why is that so shocking?" Peter questioned, secretly hoping (Y/N) didn't have to turn down a hallway to get to her next class soon.

"I didn't think you swung that way," (Y/N) replied, Peter turning embarrassingly red.

"I'm not gay I swear, Ned's my best friend that's it!"

"Woah there, didn't mean to touch a nerve," (Y/N) taunted slightly smirking, "Anyways, c'mon dude, you're pretty much at the top of every class, and I wouldn't be surprised if at least one person found you cute or something, hopefully a girl for your sake," she said breaking into a grin at her humor.

Peter blushed when she said someone could find him cute, but calmed himself down.

"No, still no girlfriend, but there is one girl I've got my eye on," Peter said, mind wandering to Liz.

"Ooooooooh, spill," (Y/N) said, elbowing him in the ribs.

"D-don't you think that's kind of personal? I mean no offense but I barely know you," Peter said, clutching his backpack straps, leaning away from (Y/N)'s elbowing with a red face.

"Isn't that the point of strangers, we spill our secrets to them because they can't mock us since they'll never see us again," (Y/N) replied, eyebrows raised.

"Maybe, but I'm seeing you again, today, exactly."

"Fair point," (Y/N) said, retreating.

They walked a few more feet in a comfortable silence for (Y/N), but an awkward one for Peter.

"What class you heading to?" Peter asked, attempting to fill the silence of the empty hallways, save for their footsteps.

"Honors chem, but I might drop it.  Not willingly, of course.  My Spanish grade is making my parents think I should take regular classes until I'm back on track," (Y/N) answered shrugging.

"How bad is it anyway, to know what I'm getting myself into?"

"D+, 68% exactly.  I studied so hard for that test, I don't even know what I did wrong," (Y/N) responded, retracting into herself and frowning at the floor.

"Sorry, didn't mean to upset you," Peter said with concern.

(Y/N) sighed, "It's fine, I had to bring it up eventually.  Anyways, sorry to cut this short but Mrs. Hahn's room is this way," she said pointing up the staircase.

"Alright, my class is down that hall over there.  See you later, right?"

"Yeah, nice talking to you Peter," (Y/N) said smiling sweetly.

"You too," Peter said, waving before watching (Y/N) flip up her hood and begin walking up the stairs and then he walked his own way.  (Y/N) smiled to herself as she walked up that stairs, very content with herself for holding a pleasant conversation for that long with Peter.  Peter himself now couldn't wait for the end of the day more than usual, unable to wipe the grin from his face.

"What's got you so happy?" Ned asked, leaning forward on his elbows.

"What do you mean?" Peter answering Ned's question with a question.

"You haven't mentioned Liz's haircut all lunch, what're you thinking about?"

"Apparently I'm tutoring some girl from my Spanish class after school," Peter said casually.

"A girl!  Peter you ladies man!" Ned exclaimed, slapping Peter on the back, "give me details!"

"It's nothing big, she's got a D+ in Spanish and Aunt May told my teacher I'd be more useful tutoring than running around for uh-" Peter glanced around, "for the 'Stark internship.'"

"What's her name?  What's she look like?  How'd it happen?  Have you guys talked yet? Is she cute?"

Peter blushed at Ned's last question and shrugged him off.

"Her name is (Y/N) and Profe introduced us to each other and then we walked to class."

"Oh my GOD she's cute, isn't she?  (Y/N)?  (Y/N) who?  Has she said anything to you yet?  What kind of girl is she, like a nerd, athlete, goth, skater, emo?"

"Ned I would love to answer your questions but all I know is that her name is (Y/N) and we had a nice conversation on our way to our next classes."

"Gimme the rundown, what was the conversation about?"

"Well, I think it started with her apologizing for being a burden and 'taking me away from my secret girlfriend.'  Then I guess she complimented me?  And then it was a bi-"

"Wait, what?  Dude, did she ask you if you had a girlfriend?"

"Well, not directly, she was-"

"Did she?!"

"I guess kind of?"

"Dude!  She totally likes you!"

"Ned please, that's- that's not true."

"She was trying to see if you were available!"

"No, no way."

"He's right," Michelle spoke up from down the table.

The boys snapped their heads towards the unexpected input.

"This- this is a private conversation!" Peter sputtered.

"I know," Michelle stated before picking up her tray and walking to throw away her trash.

"Duuuuuuuuude," Ned said, eyes wide and smiling from ear to ear.

Peter rolled his eyes, nonchalantly checking his watch every two minutes.

When the bell rang at the end of the day Peter all but walked to the library, only to find (Y/N) already standing outside the doors, pass in hand, looking in the glass walls.  She heard Peter's footsteps and turned around, face visibly brightening at the sight of Peter.

"Hey, I thought it'd be best to go in together," (Y/N) said smiling.

"Yeah, good thinking," Peter replied, with the same smile on his face as well.

The duo walked into the library, handing the lady working the desk their passes to be in the library after school hours. She signed them and sent them to a "study room" which was really just a table in between three bookshelves to create makeshift walls.

"So, what do you need the most help with?" Peter asked, setting his bag down in a chair before sitting in the one next to it.

"Everything," (Y/N) sighed, before sitting in the chair next to Peter and pulling it closer to him while hooking her backpack strap over the back of her chair.

Peter tensed when she moved her chair, Ned's words from lunch echoed in his ears as he told himself Ned was wrong.

"Could- could I look at your test from today?" Peter asked, his voice an octave higher.

"Yeah sure," (Y/N) replied, pulling the slightly dog-eared packet out of her backpack.

(Y/N) handed the test to Peter, and he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with how much (Y/N) didn't understand.  She'd missed nearly every question, but some of it was just unfair grading, like she'd missed an entire question for having an unnecessary accent.

"I'm not stupid," (Y/N) said from her chair, peering over the edge of the paper reading Peter's reaction, "Just so you know."

Peter immediately put down the paper, "No, no, I didn't say I think you are!"

"I know, but I got a 31% on this test, you're bound to think I'm a little... slow, I guess."

"You're not slow, it just seems- do you pay attention in class?" Peter asked, afraid she'd take offense to his question.

"I mean I try," (Y/N) said, shaking her head, "but Profe talks so fast and mostly in Spanish and everything just goes over my head."

"So you have issues understanding the words?"

"I guess so..."

"Well, let's start there then.  We'll start with you learning the vocabulary, and then how to construct sentences.  They won't have to be correct and all in Spanish, but it will help you start to understand how to use the words and article adjectives and the conjugation and stuff."

"Alright, okay.  You sure this doesn't make me sound dumb?"

"I'm sure, besides, it's okay to be smart in most classes but not understand other classes."

"Psssh, says you, Mr. Perfect!" (Y/N) snickered, lightly pushing Peter's arm.

Thoughts ran through Peter's mind, is (Y/N) flirting?  She just called me perfect...  She's still laughing.... (Y/N) has a nice laugh... Peter cleared his mind and laughed along with her.

"Hey, I'm not perfect, I mess up on things, big things," Peter said, remembering heroic acts gone wrong he'd done.

"Like what?" (Y/N) was staring at Peter, sincerely interested in what he'd thought he'd messed up on.

"Aren't you supposed to be studying?" Peter asked, wanting to divert the conversation.

"Aren't you supposed to be tutoring me?" (Y/N) replied, smirking before letting out a hearty laugh.

It was just a simple laugh, but that didn't stop Peter's breath from catching in his throat and his cheeks to turn a shade redder. His grin doubled in size as he pulled his binder out of his backpack ready to begin.

"Touché," he said, unclipping his vocab packet from the binder rings, "Alright, I'm just going to go down the list and see what you already know. If you don't know it, we'll highlight it, okay?"

"Yep, sounds good," her smile faltered for a moment before continuing, "But y'know I'm not very good at it."

"That's alright, you have to start somewhere. Ready?"

(Y/N) gave a weak smile, "Ready."

"Okay, aburir," Peter said.

"Uh- to bore."

"Correct!"

"I only remember it because when we went over the definitions I said 'me.'"

"Doesn't matter, still correct. Aprender."

"To learn."

"Asistir."

"To assist?"

"Kind of? That's a translation but the one we're using in class is to attend."

"That's so misleading."

"Yeah, I guess. Okay, asistir is highlighted. What about bucear?"

"No clue."

"To scuba dive."

"When- when would I ever use that?" She asked in pure confusion.

"Obviously when you're going scuba diving."

The sentence wasn't meant to be a joke, but it wasn't to make fun of (Y/N) either. Neither of it mattered, because (Y/N) giggled at it anyway. Peter's hands fidgeted and then he kept going down the list of verbs. Moments turned to minutes which turned to hours and before they knew it two and a half hours had gone by and (Y/N) and Peter were still working. They had moved on from translations and moved to conjugation, which Peter found (Y/N) completely understood and was even quicker at conjugations than he was. Now Peter was asking (Y/N) questions in Spanish and (Y/N) was replying in complete sentences using as little English words as possible.

"Okay okay, quién es tu tutor de español?" (Okay, okay, who is your Spanish tutor?)

(Y/N) smiled, "Tu, Peter es mi tutor de español." (You, Peter is my Spanish tutor)

"Muy bueno, qué color es la camiseta de tu?" (Very good, what color is your shirt?)

"Uh- colors colors colors... la camiseta de mi es... the feminine form of red?" (Uh- colors colors colors... my shirt is... the feminine form of red?)

"It starts with an r," Peter hinted.

"Rrrrrr-red?" (Y/N) said, giving him a lopsided smile.

Peter laughed, "R-O."

"Roja!  I knew that!"

"Good job," Peter snickered.

The pair had become very comfortable with one another in the past hours, not afraid to crack a joke or say something dumb. Peter's confidence was growing, as was (Y/N)'s. However, Peter took notice that (Y/N) laughed at all his jokes no matter how dumb, and again Ned's words echoed through his head. Peter was starting to get this major crush on (Y/N), but he didn't know if she felt the same.

"What are you staring at, Peter?" (Y/N) asked, noticing he'd been looking at her a while.

"S-sorry, you just have an eyelash," he lied.

"Oh, where?" She asked, rubbing her fingers under her eyes.

"Here let- let me get it," Peter said, a faint blush on his cheeks as he leaned forward and cupped your cheek as he ran his thumb under your eye.

He pretended to brush it on the ground removing his hand from your face before murmuring, "Got it."

"Thanks, Peter," you smiled at him, cheeks the faintest shade of pink.

"So- uh- more questions then?" Peter squeaked.

"Yeah."

"Quien te gusta?" (Who do you like?)

(Y/N) hesitated a moment before answering, "Me gustan mi familia y my amiga mejor." (I like my family and my best friend)

"Quien te encanta?" (Who do you like (romanically)?)

Peter held his breath.  (Y/N) looked at Peter in his eyes, unable to read his expression.

"Me- me encantan mi familia y mis amigos." (I- I love my family and friends)

"No tienes un novio o una novia?" (You don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend?)

"N-no, no lo tengo." (N-no, I don't have one)

(Y/N)'s heart was beating rapidly and Peter was taking shaky breaths.

"Quieres un novio?" (Do you want a boyfriend?)

"Lo depen- depende." (It depen- depends)

"Quieres a mi estoy te novio?" (Do you want me to be your boyfriend?)

Peter bit his lips with the sudden rush of anxiety.  (Y/N) just stared at him, increasing the feeling of knots in his stomach.  After what seemed like an eternity of the two just staring at each other, (Y/N)'s voice, soft and barely a whisper, made itself clear.

"S-sí."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," (Y/N) began nodding her head quickly while grinning ear to ear.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh okay, um, when are you free? I'm pretty busy myself, but I'm sure I can clear some stuff. Not that I'm trying to make it sound like you don't deserve my time, because you totally do, I just, with all these AP and honors classes I'm pretty booked, not to mention my internship, which is draining as well, but-"

"I'm free Friday, if that works for you. Pick me up at seven? There's this new spy movie I wanna go see, if that works for you," (Y/N) interrupted.

"Yes, yes that- that works out perfectly, yes."

"Great," (Y/N) smiled, picking up her stuff.

"Well, I was supposed to leave an hour ago but if I tell my mom the tutoring ran late I won't be in any trouble. See you tomorrow, Peter."

"Yeah, see you," Peter replied, giving a small wave.

He watched her as she walked out the doors of the library, then the doors of the school which we across the hall before returning to his own stuff and picking it up. He couldn't believe it. He had a date with the cute girl from his Spanish class!

[sweetheart-sunghoon]

Cute and Tough | P. CY

Author's Note: My second request! I feel like I could have done something better with this request but I still like this one cause it's cute.

Genre: badboy au

Contains: badboy!chanyeol, chubby and badass reader, fluff

Word Count: 0.8k

A month or so ago, notorious bad boy Park Chanyeol took a sudden interest in you. When he first approached you in the science lab, the smirk on his lips made you believe he was coming to pick on you for your chubby appearance, as so many before him had.

To your surprise, he instead asked if you would like to pair up with him for the upcoming practical test. Despite the innocent and genuine look in his puppy-like eyes, your mind jumped to the conclusion that he was hoping to use you for good marks (a poor choice on his part), but, after glancing around the classroom, you found your friends already paired with each other and accepted Chanyeol's request, sighing heavily at the end.

❁   ✿❁   ✿❁   ✿❁    ❁

Weeks of studying and practise later, the test was over and all you could do now was wait anxiously for the results. With the completion of the test in mind, you assumed it was also the end of Chanyeol and your's contact. And yet, here he was, following you to your car in the school parking lot.

"How do you think we went?" Chanyeol asked, a couple steps beside you. "I think we did well. The reaction went as planned, the paper wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and from what I could see, you didn't look too troubled."

You didn't say anything, too in your own mind, distracted by the flurry of questions this event was creating. Why was Chanyeol still following you? You'd done the test and, as he said, it went well. What more did he want from you? Maybe all this time he had been luring you into a false sense of security so that when he returned to his bad-boy ways and let the harsh comments fly, it would hurt more.

A false sense of security... How could you? How could you let yourself feel comfortable around him? You think back to all the laughs and smiles you'd shared in your kitchen while studying. At the time, it felt like he was your friend, but was it all a ruse? A sick joke? He was a "bad boy" after all.

Well if it was, then he had another thing coming.

Unaware of the frown in your face, Chanyeol continued to blabber.

"Well..." he chuckled. "Now that I think about it, you did look super frustrated at one point. You looked like you were about to stab the paper." He laughed again. "Which question was it?"

Now at your car, you whirled on him, your car key aimed threateningly at his chest. Chanyeol flinched.

"What are you doing?" you asked him, glaring.

"What do you mean?" he replied, his eyes on the malicious car key in your hand.

"The exam is over, finished. There's no need for us to talk anymore. So why are you following me?" You took a step forward. "Are my suspicions right? Was this all some sort of prank? Pretend to be friends with the chubby girl then stomp on her heart? Did your troublemaking friends put you up to it? Did they think it'd be funny to bully me? Did they think it'd be easy, that I would fight back? Well, guess what? I did taekwondo for five years and while I've admittedly forgotten most of it, I can still quick your ass!"

The frightened puppy look in his eyes disappeared in a flash and in its place the dark, menacing one that parted the bustling school hall crowds like the Red Sea.

Raising his eyes to meet yours, he grabbed the hand that held the car key and pointed it away from him. His grip was rough but it didn't hurt.

"You really think I'd waste weeks of my time on some idiotic prank just to... to what? Have a laugh with my mates?" Chanyeol scoffed. "You really think so low of me... I thought that maybe by now you'd figure I wasn't like that. Like what all those rumours about me say. I thought I'd proved myself to you. I thought maybe you liked me too."

Your anger started to fizzle down. "I'm confused."

His eyes turned desperate and his grip on your hand softened. "I like you, Y/N."

Your eyes widened. "Why?"

"I don't know," Chanyeol whined. "I see the way you stand up for yourself and how you don't let other people's words affect you and I really admire that."

Sighing, Chanyeol looked down. "Look, I know, I've done some bad stuff and I'm scary and probably not the most wholesome guy out there, but... but I'm trying to be better. And I hope you'll let me take you out for ice cream or something."

"But you're you and I'm me," you blurted, bewildered that someone as hot and wild as Chanyeol could like someone like you.

"So?" Chanyeol replied. "You're cute and soft on the outside and tough and badass on the inside. I'm the opposite. We're complimentary."

"Did you just indirectly call yourself cute?" you asked teasingly.

Chanyeol groaned. "Shut up and accept my feelings will you. I'm dying here."

You laughed a little. It'd be a lie to say you didn't have romantic feelings for Chanyeol too. While at first you were hesitant of him, over the past month, you'd found yourself letting loose and enjoying his company.

And so, you say, "Okay. I accept. Let's go get ice cream."