#i've also been giving her the pain meds the vet gave me but the vet tech did say that would make her bleary

[queenerdloser]

any time truffle does anything remotely normal, i start bursting into tears. she crawled under my bed blanket to lay across my legs (her favorite place to sleep since she was a kitten) for the first time since monday and i had to stop writing work emails to sniffle about it. i need her to get better so i can start feeling more like a normal person again and less like a ball of stress and nerves. 

[kedreeva]

After a month-long fight, Artemis' system finally threw in the towel. We put her to sleep this morning.

I am crushed, and I don't really know what else to say.

She started slowing down shortly after her last suprelorin implant, and the xrays showed something, a weird shadow or cross-peritoneal sac encompassing her heart and liver, but none of the three avian vets who saw it could interpret what it actually was or what to do about it. We started her on some painkillers and antibiotics, and tube feeding liquid chow so she would not lose condition if she was not feeling well. We changed up antibiotics, we gave her an antiemetic for nausea, we tried different pain meds...

For a little while, she seemed to be improving. Whatever it was, it wasn't as visible on the next xrays, and her bloodwork looked better. She was moving around more and sleeping less (she'd been sleeping all day at the start), she could get up and down to the big perch on her own.

And then last night, her crop was a little squishy when I gave her her evening meds. I hoped that it was just that she'd finally eaten a good meal before bed, but when I came out today to give her morning meds, the blueberries from the evening before were still in her crop. That's NOT good. Her urates were also stained yellow. I called the vet and got an emergency appt, but I knew before I left that I would probably have to make the call to end it. I gave her a little time out in the sunshine and grass while I got the car ready, and then we drove down. She sat quietly, and didn't complain during the exam, but ultimately the radiograph showed the problem was still present, and her kidneys were shining bright. Her GI tract had slowed to a stop, her heartbeat was slowed way down, and her urates were showing crystals.

So, I said my goodbyes, and the vet did as well. Everyone was fond of Artemis- she was always well behaved and sweet to everyone she ever met. She loved people, she loved cuddles. She was only 6. I knew she wasn't going to make it a full, normal lifespan, not with everything that was wrong from the get go, but I had hoped for a few more years. I got a few more than she'd have gotten with anyone else. It's never enough.

Artemis was my favorite, from the moment she hatched. She was never mean- not to humans, not to other birds. She is the ONLY bird I've ever owned that was like that. She loved Stan from the moment she met him, and tolerated his weird social habits to the end of his days. They were ALWAYS together, always sitting in the sun together, always following one another. I'm honestly not surprised she followed him to death- there are so many anecdotes from keepers who have birds that spend weeks, even months, grieving after losing a close flock mate. It wouldn't surprise me at all to find Artemis had been holding onto life with both hands for Stan, and with his passing she gave up.

I am going to miss painting with her so much. I have her first painting, and her last, in my bedroom, and I'm really glad I didn't let that last one go yet.

I don't really know what else to say, besides that she was my heart. I loved her, and I hate that she's gone. There will never, ever be another lady like her.

Sleep sweet, lovely. I'll miss you til the end of my days, and I look forward to joining you at the meadow when that comes.

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (745): Mon 1st Apr 2024

My sister rang me up and asked if I still wanted her to book the operation for Lucy. I've been considering this ever since I spoke to the vets but I don't think I can go through with it. Ever since I got the news I've been picturing Lucy panicking as the vets try to give her the gas to knock her out and me trying to calm her down and assure her that everything will be alright because frankly I don't know if it will be. Also the fact that on the morning of the operation I'll have to take her to the vets on the bus and she'll just think that it's another ordinary day out completely oblivious to what's about to happen. The idea that she might not come back has been haunting me ever since and I just don't think I can do it. The vet told me that the older you get the less chance you have of surviving anesthetic and according to her Lucy's heart murmur is a five out of six. My sister was relieved when I told her this because she doesn't think she'll survive it either. When I spoke to the vet she didn't explicitly say that Lucy is in pain she said that if she is then she might get to the stage where its too painful for her to eat and she will start to refuse food. However after less than a week of her taking this medication they gave me she has already stopped making that weird clicking noise and her breath is better so perhaps this was just a minor infection and the meds have cured it. Plus she doesn't seem to be in any pain, if she was she would be yelping all the time. I know that this might be the cruel thing to do but I can't face the idea of losing her when she might have several good years left in her. She still has so much energy and enthusiasm for life after all. When I get in from work she's always there in the front garden waiting for me to give her a treat and take her upstairs so she can sit with me while I watch the wrestling. I want to have that companionship for as long as I can

[againstacecilia]

Before my update, I want to thank everyone who sent me love and support. This has been the hardest two weeks of my life so I'm here to update and just get this all out of my head.

In the original post, I mentioned his appointment being on a Tuesday (April 4th or something like that, time has stopped existing properly). Friday the 31st, we had our normal DnD session and asked everyone to bring Sherm's favorite treats and apologized in advance for any anxiety or barking he might have. I barely remember what happened that night because the sun went down and he was inconsolable. Barking, whining, howling, you name it. He was on every anti-anxiety medication the vet felt comfortable putting him on (they literally called one of them "the good stuff" when I went to pick it up) and he still couldn't calm down. After only a couple of hours we had to ask people to leave early because it was just getting worse.

My husband and I maybe got 45 minutes of sleep that night. Sherman lost all use of his back legs and we were taking him out every half an hour to hold him up while he tried to go to the bathroom. In the span of a few hours, Sherman had gone from mid-level quality of life to the worst I've ever seen in a living creature. We decided that we would need to move the appointment up and end his suffering.

Our vet opened at 8:00am Saturday (April 1st) and my husband was standing outside at 7:58am exhausted and begging for help. The folks at our vet (Palouse Animal Wellness and Surgery Center in Moscow, Idaho) are incredible and helped us out every step of the way. Our normal vet was out for the weekend but the main doctor was there and we scheduled our appointment for 10:00am. Colton (husband) came home and we settled into bed with Sherman for the remaining hours we had.

For the rest of the story to make sense y'all are going to need some context. My college best friend and her boyfriend live in the same duplex as we do and they also loved Sherman. Heather (best friend) was Auntie Heather from day one and Sherman loved her. She was the most important person in any room. At 9:00am, I texted her and told her about the change in plans and invited her and her boyfriend to come to our apartment and spend some time with Sherman. They came over immediately. They asked if we wanted them to come with us to the vet and Colton and I immediately said yes, not realizing how much we were going to need their support. Heather casually mentioned that her parents (who live in the area) were also at the vet with their dog who had been a little sick the day before, so it was another relief to know that our adopted college parents were going to be there.

We live within walking distance of the vet so, when it was time to go, we grabbed Sherman's favorite bed and walked down to the vet. The weather was a strange mix of rain and snow, with some hail thrown in every once in a while, so the walk itself was extra gloomy. But, I held Sherman as tight as I could as we walked into the lobby and were lead to our exam room.

I'll obviously leave the details of what happened out since it was probably the worst day of my life, but, for such a shitty day, the process was peaceful and full of love from the staff. So many tech and staff members came in to give Sherman love and to hug us, tears in their eyes as they told us how much they've enjoyed being able to take care of him over the years. The vet was gentle and compassionate. We got to feed him chocolate right before they administered the medication. He had gotten carrots and peanut butter and ham chunks the night before at our DnD session. And, in the end, he laid his head down as we told him how much we loved him, and went to sleep.

Two moments of this day I'll never forget. One, Sherman was always had a smile on his face but it had been weeks since I had seen him genuinely smile. As the pain meds took over his body, he looked at me and gave me the BIGGEST smile I'd seen in so long. Two, we finally said goodbye and walked out of the exam room into the lobby. Remember how I said the weather was throwing everything it could at us when we were walking there? The moment we stepped into the lobby it filled with bright, warm sun. He used to push his flat little face into the door to get out on the porch when it was sunny out. Our little Sun Pug gave us a little wave on his way to the rainbow bridge.

To be honest, the rest of the day did dip again before it evened out. Heather's parents ended up having to also let their pup go an hour after we said goodbye to Sherman so we sprinted back to the vet to be with them like they were there for us. As we all left the vet they invited us all to their house for dinner, drinks, and much needed community that night.

Whew, holy shit if you've read this far I love you and don't deserve you. It's been over a week now and I still get hit with waves of grief. Grief, anger, confusion, you name it. I still every once in a while think I see him curled up in our blankets or start to plan what I need to go for him when I come home for lunch. Sometimes I'm a little more at peace with it and then I feel guilty for already beginning to heal. I'm trying to be gentle with myself and work through the emotions as they come rather than defaulting to pushing them away. I'm so grateful for the many years we got with him, and I'm beyond thankful for my husband as we've been each other's rocks through this process.

Again, please hug your pets tight. I hope you never have to go through this with your pets but, if you do, please reach out if you have any questions. I've learned a lot from this experience and I'm happy to be a resource or a shoulder to cry on.

Have some of my favorite pictures of my little guy. 💖

EDIT: Mobile isn't letting me add multiple photos, so here's my top favorite photo. 💖

Run free, Sun Pug ☀️

Hey everyone. Back to explain my hiatus again. I'll put it under the cut with a tw for pet loss.

Anyone who has a pet knows that you end up loving them more than it feels possible to love something. 13 years ago, my grandma's dog had a litter of puppies and we kept one for my sister and another one that just ended up bonding with our family and we couldn't let him go. In 2015, I took that little dude to college after I moved off campus and he's been with me and my husband ever since. His name is Sherman.

About 6 months ago, we had to take him to the emergency vet after he temporarily lost use of his back legs. He was diagnosed with something called intervertebral disc disease, fairly common in older dogs. We started him on a medication and a supplement and it worked really well for a while. Then, mid-January, he had his first seizure. It was horrible and fairly traumatic, but he was seizure-free for 2 months after and we hoped it was a one-off thing. Unfortunately, a couple weeks ago he had another one and then a third before we could get him into his vet. We've had him on anti-seizure medications since then. Earlier this year, he also started showing signs of canine cognitive dysfunction (or doggy dementia) and we started a new medication for that as well. We think the last two seizures pushed the doggy dementia further along than it was and, with the seizures under control, his mental struggles have increased exponentially. He's constantly pacing, whining, and barking, and showing a lot of other signs of just being confused and scared. The anti-seizure medication makes it even harder for him to use his back legs which means he's having problems accomplishing daily tasks. His dementia also culminates in something called sundowner syndrome, which means that his nights and days are getting a little flipped and he's constantly stressed and scared at night.

After an extensive talk with his vet, and a lot of tears and soul searching between my husband and me, we've set an appointment to help him over the rainbow bridge this coming Tuesday.

I'm not sure I've ever known grief this strong. For the last 8 years, he's been my constant companion. Without needing to be trained he also stepped into the role of my emotional support animal. Laying on my chest during panic attacks, waking me up out of nightmares, and being a soothing presence while I worked through whatever traumas I was ready to face, he also kept me company during the summers that my husband was across the country coaching at a summer camp in Maine. I keep trying to rationalize that there are still some bright spots and worrying that we're doing this too early. But I look into his eyes and there's none of the life there that you used to be. He's still existing, yes, he's still eating and drinking and every once in awhile will cuddle with me on the couch after work, but he isn't living. He can't go on walks anymore, we can't take him on trips to his favorite places or to see his favorite people because his body can't handle long stretches in the car.

I'm beyond heartbroken. I haven't known an adult life without this little guy and I'm terrified of the first day I get home from work and the house is silent. I'm dreading the moment he closes his eyes and I know they'll never open again. And I don't think, even in my most hormonal teenage years, that I've cried so much so many days in a row. I know we're doing the best for him. I know this is the biggest act of love we could provide for him and he deserves to not be scared or in pain anymore. I just wish we had a couple more years with him. Even just a couple more days of the happy pup that he used to be. But, young or old, I'll love him forever and I want to make sure that he doesn't suffer any longer than he already has.

I'll be back. I know I've been gone for so long at this point already but I will be back. If you have pets, please hug them so close for me. Please love them with everything you have because whether you have them for a year or 13 years, it's never enough. I'm so lucky to have had this perfect dog and to have been unconditionally loved by something- someone- so loving and pure. If you pray, or believe in some sort of vibes, please send them to me and to Sherman. Please wish him safe journeys over the rainbow bridge.

Love y'all. 💖

[selfpositiveundertale]

Update update update!

We got approved for a Scratchpay loan and today we took Soul to the affordable vet care clinic. They did xrays, urinalysis, and other stuff to see what was going on.

They did not see any bladder stones or crystals, though they won't rule that out in the future, but he had some "sludge", as the vet tech put it, in his bladder and issues with his urethra. They gave him fluids and other injections to relieve his pain and discomfort and relax his urethra so he'll be able to pee more easily and! He peed! In the carrier, as we were just getting home, and he ruined the little catnip ball I made for him to help him stay calm on the trip, but the important thing is he peed a real puddle and not just a tiny drop! I was so happy I nearly cried. I've never been so happy to smell cat pee in my life. The vet also provided some meds for me to give him for the next 5 days. I will give him his first dose in an hour or so, when I give the doggo her joint care chew. That gives me a bit of time to get warm and rest a little because I had to stand outside in the cold for a little while and now everything hurts and I'm exhausted.

The bill was $300. We will be making $27 payments every month for a year or so. Not terrible, but still a bit of a squeeze considering all our other expenses. But when my husband's new job starts paying him in a week or two, things should get a little easier.

I will not be going to the event I was trying to prepare for as I want to stay home and take care of Soul and I'm not even ready for it anyway. This will also give me more time to chip away at my Etsy orders. I might keep my shop closed until I get them all finished and then open it back up with some new policies in place. If an item sells more than three times in a week, I will leave it closed until I have gotten all the orders completed. If I get more than 5 orders in a week, I will put my shop on vacation until they're all done. I will also be crocheting my most popular items and treating this like a real job. 4-8 hours a day working on projects, and keeping at least 3 of each of the most popular items ready made at all times. What happened with the Christmas rush, getting 13 orders behind and still struggling to get them done in January, will not happen again. I will make sure of it. I'm going to stay on top of it and take it more seriously.

Big thanks to everyone who helped out by donating. To the person who commissioned me for art, I'm still working on it and it's coming along.

If anyone else wants to commission me, I have 4 slots left! See my first post about Soul for commission details. I still need to post my newer stuff to my art blog but I'll try to get some of it posted soon.

Start determined, y'all!

[nightinghoul]

Pinky

CW: Pet Death, descriptions of painful pet illness and death

On Saying Good-Bye

My Pinky passed away from a sudden illness two days ago, and my heart is broken. She picked up a stomach bug that I guess would have been just an annoyance for a larger dog, but Pinky was four pounds. She had never been sick before, not as long as we’d had her, anyway.

Day one, she was throwing up and didn’t feel like eating, but she was walking around and seemed to be improving by the hour. My spouse and I have a lot of animal, and especially dog, experience. We knew that if we called the vet, they would say to keep her hydrated and bring her in if she threw up more, became lethargic, or if her respiration rate changed. That night, she was acting very lethargic, and we decided we needed to take her to the vet in the morning. I gave her some water, and put her by the bed to sleep (I was afraid if I put her in the bed, I’d roll over on her, or knock her off).

In the middle of the night, because I don't sleep well as a rule, I woke up and checked on her. She was not responding. Normally, she would growl and snap if anyone touched her, but she was just lying there. I tried to give her some water, but she was having trouble lifting her head to drink. I picked her up, and she had a seizure.

We drove to the 24 hour emergency vet, and they were closed. The 24 hour emergency vet is CLOSED on Wednesday mornings (12 - 10 AM). We called the one other 24 hour emergency vet. They were also closed for Wednesday morning. We didn't get the memo about not having pet emergencies on Wednesday mornings.

Now we were into Day 2. We waited for the vet to open at 7AM. When I walked in, they took her to the back immediately. By that point, she was totally unresponsive except for an occasional haunting wail like I’ve never heard a dog make in my life (and I worked in animal care for years.) They gave her pain meds and sedatives. 

She had pancreatitis, which never has a very good prognosis (although I’ve heard of one case of a friend’s dog pulling through.) By noon, she was throwing brain clots, and having multiple strokes and seizures. Our vet is a darling, wonderful, hopeful person, and just kept coming up with the best case scenario. If we did this and this and this, maybe we could get her to the point where she would live a bit longer, but she would still have blood clots. As long as we got her to an emergency vet every time she had a blood clot related stroke, maybe they could save her (as long as it wasn’t a Wednesday morning.) 

We didn’t talk about it for long. She was being tortured for a very slim chance to live a short, miserable life. It was time to let go.

I sleep a lot during the day, because I don't sleep well at night. I wake up a lot, whether I napped during the day or not. I've been like this a long time. Anyway, I have a lot of broken sleep throughout the day and night. So, right now, every time I wake up, the loss of our little dog hits me all over again. I go through a half-dream bargaining sequence. I realize death is permanent, and curse under my breath.

Pinky was a terrible dog. I refuse to let fading memory convince me that she wasn't just awful, because that was part of her appeal. She had the worst temper of any dog I've ever met.

I guess when I say awful, I mean difficult. She was also wonderful. I think she really wished she could snuggle and be sweet without getting angry. The fact that she was always  working through that made me love her more, because I feel like she was trying really hard.

Like, when she would get upset, and I would say "Go to your growly bed!" She had a specific bed that she would go to and growl and be angry. Sometimes she would go there without anyone telling her, and if she was there, we knew not to bother her. The first year, I questioned our decision to keep her, time and time again. She bit me so hard with those sharp little razor teeth, so many times. She made me look so bad in front of strangers, but friends who got to spend time with her completely understood: she was complicated.

The house is so quiet without her. She was the main instigator of pandemonium in our household. Mealtimes, dogs barking down the street, doorbells - These things required thunderous acknowledgement. And, good lord, was she loud. The only thing louder than her bark now is her absence. I wish she had had a chance to fully heal from whatever it was that made her so angry. I wish she had gotten to live a normal lifespan. I wish didn't have to say goodbye all over again every time I open my eyes. You can spend a life-time loving and losing this way, and never get used to it.

I wrote a poem about her last year, so I'm going to share it here. Please don't judge my free verse!

https://poetizer.com/poem/2640600

[nei-ning]

I started to think Verti may have urinary infection because he pees in the same style as before whenever he has had it. My uncle's spouce is a vet so mom asked could she give us a recipe for antibiotics for Verti. She did and I got the meds on Monday. Instructions said I have to give 2 pills twice a day (4 pills in total) for a week. I instantly felt off. This was nothing similar to that what other vets have ordered for me to give to Verti. Anyway, she's professional so I didn't want to doubt her.

On Monday evening and Tuesday morning I gave Verti those pills and few hours later on Tuesday Verti was vomiting so heavily that he laid flat on his stomach on the floor! That scared the shit out of me since Verti has NEVER vomit because of antibiotics or like that. I stopped giving him those pills instantly and he became better.

In that paper, which comes with the meds, read that the cat may feel a bit nausea and don't want to eat. Verti was eating normally despite vomiting. So, I Googled about this antibiotic in English and I found out it cause heavy vomiting, is dangerous to liver etc. It also said it can cause throat to swell and other things so yeah. Nope. Not gonna give that to my cat!

Today I called another vet, telling the situation. She told me not to give those pills to Verti and since I earlier this year had got antibiotics from her to Verti because of urinary infection, she told me to come over. She would sell me few pills and pain medicine as well. I got the meds and the difference was huge!

She had wrote that 1/2 pill in the morning and evening for 2 days only. Pain medicine (liquid) once a day 1ml per kilogram. See the difference? No 4 pills per day, but just one per day, cut in half!

I've been wondering why my uncle's spouce said 4 pills per day. Was there a mistake? Did pharmacy misheard her? Or what? But now I know to go to this other vet if I ever need antibiotics to Verti :)

And he's doing better! He eats, he drinks, he plays (thanks to pain medicine) and talks more. I'm happy! In next Wednesday I take him to other vet for dentist while they also x-ray Verti's front paws because they are not in right position anymore. I hope there's no bad news like expensive surgery etc. because I can't afford that. I hope Verti would be okay with just painkillers.

[orifumioshi]

So... Yeah, as promised I'll elaborate here but I'll have to add it in read more just to be safe because I'll have to add a few content warnings. Proceed with caution. Thank you.

CW: Surgery, blood, internal fluids... Medical stuff.

First, I don't think I ever finished explaining the situation with my grandma hysterectomy surgery so; thanks to my aunt, we were able to put the debt in her card and miraculously got to pay the half of the surgery but the other half was put in her card. Unfortunately it will end up being a little bit more expensive.

But well, thanks to that we successfully got my grandma surgery on July 30th but ever since she came back home two days later, we've been taking care of her: cleaning the injury, give her her antibiotic and meds which, some are every 6 hours and we can't exactly have her take all the meds at the same time so, we don't sleep well.

I'm not someone who can handle blood and "internal" stuff so I'm nauseous almost everyday. Plus she had a couple of crisis in which her blood pressure was dangerously low and had to take her to the clinic in the middle of the night.

Now she's doing better and the hole is closing but we're not there yet plus we still have the debt to pay so yes, I still need money.

Well, this is the first part.

CW: Animal death.

I've never spoken about this before on the internet but, one of my girls, Manchitas was diagnosed with skin cancer in her nose.

She was an stray who came to my home to have her babies back in 2016 and by 2018, we noticed she had some weird injuries in her nose; the vet would tell us that were fight injuries and because I saw her fight with cats to protect the house, I did believe it was just that and ignored it.

By 2020, her nose became quite injured and this time, the vet recommended us to do some studies and it gave positive to cancer.

Surgery to remove the tumor was no option because it would just end up in making the cancer to eat her face faster and chemotherapy would have weakened her system making her way more vulnerable so the vet told us that we can only give her meds to reduce the pain and pray for her to live well the most she can.

By 2023, around March, her face was reduced drastically and it was around June that the tumor progressed even faster and well, since two weeks ago, she is less active and sleeps all day. She still eats tho, but I've heard her cry of pain and she can't breathe well anymore.

And that's the thing, I'm afraid she won't have a good life anymore so we as family decided that it was time to let her rest. We don't have the date yet as we have to check in with the vet but, let's say that just knowing that we have to do it as soon as possible for her to not suffer anymore is pretty heavy for me.

We would also want to have it done at our house so my other girls can know that their mom is not going to wake up anymore and for Manchitas to not feel stressed in her last moments and for her to be surrounded by us and her daughters.

So, that's the other thing that is eating me up and what's worse is that because I don't want her to feel my anxiety and sadness, I've been bottling up my feelings so I haven't cried out loud although my voice would often break when we talk about this.

I could be egoist and keep her by my side until she cannot breathe anymore just to have her a little bit more with me but, that's the worse thing I could do to her. I mean, just a few weeks ago she was still playing and running in our garden, chasing our recent addition to the fam (the Siamese girl) and meowing happily so, seeing her like this now, so sudden it's quite the shock for me because she still seems healthy (ignoring her face) and yet, I can't imagine in how much pain she must be now.

I prefer for her to go to sleep as how she is than in a way where she loses weight and half of her face unable to breathe.

I knew this day would come but now that it's getting closer, I honestly don't know how much I'll cry for her and if my other cats will be ok because they love their mom to the point of bathing her now that she really can't.

I just hope that my other cats won't get depression over her death because I won't know how to handle their and my own.

Now you know what I've been through and what has yet to come since my grandma is not fully recovered yet, we have her surgery debt and we don't know when the vet will have time to come at our home but, I promise to do my best and give Manchitas a peaceful goodbye with a smile.

Update

Hi, first I'd like to apologize for not replying to DMs and chats, overall I kinda ignored my personal Discord and only contacted a few people.

I've been having very hard weeks, in a physical and emotional way so I'll have to ask for your patience once again m(_ _)m mostly because I'll be having even more ugly weeks to come and somehow, I don't really have the energy to talk to people right now but I won't elaborate about it here as I don't want to vent in my art blog... That's what I have my other blog @orifumioshi for hehe...

I promise to do my best to get better in the meantime. If you have urgent matters to attend with me, I'm afraid that only my business discord will do the trick for now (or telegram but sometimes I feel like no one uses it OTL)

So, in case you do want to know my current situation, I'll add details at my other blog via rebloging this so, see you there if you want.

Let me apologize once again because seriously, I'm somehow quite tired and I forgot what it feels like to sleep 8 hours straight and I know that's no excuse to relinquish my responsibilities but please be patient with me. Thank you m(_ _)m

[bitch-banshee]

Goner

Prompt: Reader finds Derek on a hike while he's been wounded from hunters. She doesn't know about supernaturals so she thinks there's a serial killer. She takes him home and tends to his wounds.

This has been sitting for so long....sorry y’all.

Masterlist

Living in a town where the main attraction is the woods was a blessing and curse. Hiking was always fun, finding new places all the time by a simple veer of the beaten path.

Until today.

I had just passed a small creek when i heard a sharp shout and a thud. Against my better brain waves and ignoring every movie ever. I decided to venture even further to see what was going on.

"Uhh hello?" The gentle English tilt to my voice slipped out in my fear. "Is there someone there" i continued treading as lightly as i could. If it was an animal that was hurt the last thing you wanted to do was scare it. I came around a large tree slowly, it wasn't an animal.

"Oh my god!" I whispered and fell to my knees. It was a man, and he had 4 long slash marks on his bare back. "A-are you okay, oh my god, who did this to you, can you stand, oh my god" my hands trembled as they reached for him. Too many questions Olivia.

"Okay okay okay, i need you to stand, can you do that for me?" A grunt, we were getting somewhere. "Alright, wanna tell me your name?" He leaned heavily against me, and i was thankful for all the months I'd been hiking.

"Mm Derek" he slurred, his head lolling to one side. "Okay! Derek, I'm gonna bring you to my car okay? Is that alright?" Another grunt. Not a man of words i see.

"It's just over the hill, can you make that Derek, i need you to tell me, or else I'll call an ambulance to help" at this his eyes snapped open, "no hospital " it was clear, free of the slur from before. Okay, "cool, no hospital, i can work with that, you're lucky I'm a doctor, not for people but i don't think that matters" a dry laugh slipped from my lips.

I was rambling, and i knew it. More than once i was all to aware of his slipping consciousness, and the blood sliding over my fingers. But by some miracle we made it to my truck.

"Okay Derek, can you lean here for just a second, I've got a towel in the back" incoherent words slipped from his lips, an agreement i think. I'll never know.

Still with shaking hands, i draped the towel over his back. He hissed, I'd drenched it in water, because putting a dry towel on an open wound was stupid. "Sorry sorry" somehow i got him in my passenger seat. He didn't lean back.

Okay, so he's aware enough to not get blood on my seat. Great. With a shut of the door and a sprint to the other side. The car ride was filled with shuddering breaths and soft apologies. Someone had tried to hill him. With a knife it looked, I'd been paying attention to the news.

Animal attacks, and half found bodies, someone was slaughtering people so bad the only explanation was an animal. My mind churned, i wouldn't be going back into the woods until they caught that lunatic. If i found Derek, that killer could find me. I looked over with frantic eyes "still with me Derek" a soft hum slid from his chest to my ears.

When we pulled up to my house, getting him out was way harder than getting him in. "Okay Derek just lean over like that, I've got you, Oh shit" he slipped and i caught him twisting before we both fell.

"We're not doing that again, agreed" i didn't expect him to answer. His face was ashen, it made me nervous. With fumbling fingers and hot breaths i busted through my front door. We didn't make it to the garage where i had a table for this sort of thing. The kitchen it was.

With quick hands i sent everything onto the floor.

"Sorry Ana" i whispered to my housemate that wasn't in. "Derek, you there, i need you to lay on your stomach,I'm gonna clean you up okay?" I whispered, he flinched anyways.

Once he was laid down i ran to the garage. Pulling antiseptic and hydrogen peroxide. I heard a deep groan and raced back. He was moving, pushing his arms from the counter. "No no no no no" i pushed him back down.

"This isn't gonna hurt, but it won't feel good either, you ready?" A nod, halfhearted and heartbreaking. I pursed my lips in concentration, trying to still my wiggling hands. "Cmon liv" i admonished myself and tending to his wounds.

The cuts were long, deliberate and they weren't the only ones. Through careful cleaning and inspection there were bruises under all the blood. "Jesus. You still with me" i ran my fingers over his head, like i could a dog before snapping it back.

This was a person, flesh blood bones and brains. A muffled "yeah I'm here" and i almost cried out of relief. "AH words! Yes okay" i pulled out a needle and thread and stared "I'm gonna gave to stitch these, okay" a deep sigh, "okay"

After several deep breaths and some winces and grunts I'd put in about 150 stitches. "Don't move, I'm gonna get bandaids" i placed my hands softly on his shoulders, a drowsy murrp came from his mouth. Minutes later he was bandaged and lying on my couch. "Are you allergic to any pain medication?" I squatted before him.

"Derek, i can't give you anything for the pain if you don't tell me." The assertion in my voice surprised even me. "No, no meds, m'ok" he groaned and went to stretch before his face screwed up and his eyes popped open. Wide and scared.

"Don't panic, you're fine, you're okay" i soothed slightly "are you allergic?" I asked again. He shook his head, probably annoyed with my pestering. I nodded and stuck him with some morphine.

Maybe 20 minutes later Derek was fast asleep. I was thankful for the open floor plan because i could see him from the kitchen.

"No Ana i didn't go out looking for an injured man" i hissed over the phone. "Why did you bring him back?" "You've seen the news, people are dying, i couldn't leave him here. He looks like escaped from someone. You know what whatever, are you staying with Brenton tonight?" She humphed "i could be" i rolled my eyes, hearing her smug smile. "Do" was all i said before i heard Derek groan. "I'm gonna check on him, i call you later" "okay liv, be careful" i sighed and hung up.

Rounding the couch i saw he was still asleep but sweating. I put my hand on his head and he was burning up. "Shit" he was going to sweat the pain meds right out. I went to the fridge and took out some frozen corn before placing it on the back of his neck. He blew out a long breath, before settling against the chocolate brown couch. At that moment my stomach grumbled. "Let's hope you're alright while i cook" i said to his sleeping form, pulling my hands through my hair.

30 minutes later I'd made tomato soup and a grilled cheese when Derek moved. It took me all of four seconds to be in front of him. "Derek, hey, take it slow you're gonna rip your stitches" his green eyes were frantic, swiping over the unfamiliar room before landing on me.

"Who are you" he mouth settled in a scowl, eyes blazing green fire. "I-I'm Olivia, i found you in the woods. Y-you were dying" my voice trembled out, words flying from my mouth. I recapped the whole story of finding him and bringing him here and stitching him up.

His face softened, but not enough to not look intimidating "thank you, but i should leave" he made moves to get up. My hands slapped down on his still bare shoulders.

"LEAVE? You can't leave, you shouldn't even be able to stand. Your pain tolerance must be though the roof. You shouldn't be moving around for a few days Derek. Then we should go to the police. I wanted to take you to the hospital but you said very seriously in your blood loss haze no to that. I'm sorry, I'm talking a lot, but you can't leave." I kept shaking my head, hands squeezing his shoulder involuntarily at my hasty speaking.

"Okay" was all he said. Gruff and annoyed.

"Okay" i responded "i made soup, do you want some" he nodded slowly, his gaze so alert and sliding over my face it made me shiver. I made him promise not to move while i got his food.

~~

Derek needed to leave. He needed to get out of this house with this strangely nice and gorgeous woman. His eyes slid over her face and he'd wished he'd remained on her eyes. The baby blues were captivating enough. But when he let his gaze wander to the small nose and full pink lips being worried by her teeth. He felt his nostrils flare when she walked away from him.

She smelled like rain and honeysuckle. Not to mention the unintentional way of her hips made him weak and willing to do anything for her. When she set the steaming food in front of him with an easy smile and an earnest nod he knew he was a goner.

"What were you running from?" She inquired, smelling of anxiety atop her natural scent. He didn't answer, he couldn't, clearly she didn't know anything of his kind or the hunters hellbent on ending his life.

"Cmon Derek, it's okay, someone tried to hurt you, no doubt a serial killer that would've cut you up and scattered you around the woods" her voice lilted in a way that proved not only did she know nothing about supernaturals she also wasn't from here.

"How did you know what to do" he asked a question of his own. She faultered, caught off by such a question.

"I'm a vet, i moved here a few months ago, and I've been unable to catch up with the clinic owner here" she shrugged and nibbled at her sandwich. Derek caught a whiff of sadness and immediately felt bad.

"Sorry, thank you for not letting me die" his voice was stiff, he knew the slashes had already healed. Unless they hadn't, by the twist of his back and the ebbing pain that bloomed being any indication. She was immediately up, swathing him in her scent again "don't do that, God you're going to rip those open" she was behind him.

Soft fingers searing over his back, warmth flowing from her to him. He humphed "you're a good cook" he tried to appeal to her, to ease her strong feelings of anxiety and lingering sadness.

"Liar, I'm a horrid cook, you got lucky we had the only thing i can cook in the house" she laughed and it was like windchimes. Floating through the air, she was so soft spoken it didn't hurt his werewolf ears.

Like stiles did when he rambled, getting louder and louder. Her voice thinned and quieted as more words flew from her mouth. He realized he hadn't been listening to what she was saying. Her mumbles quiet as she continued to look over and slide her fingers over his back.

Yup he was a goner.

———————————

@dylinski @terminallygenius @parker-potter @just-jordie-things

[quokkalatte]

Affinity pt.2

Part 2

Category: Series

Pairing: Street Racer!Hoseok x Cat Hybrid! Reader

Warnings for this chapter: slight tiny mentions of blood and past abuse, slight language

Author's Note: Honestly this is mostly a filler chapter so it's just not that.....good? idk but I hope you enjoy ♡ as far as posting goes, it may be a bit before I get the next chapter out out I go back to school tomorrow and I'm working too so yeah XP

Tag List: @xinnieally @twilight-loveer @zhangyixingxing1 @jhopespanda @smeunjipark @kaguracysan @timberkat @wxnnabewitch @dust-er130 @sweetcoffeeblandtea @lokathefemale @fairy-lover13 @chari-a @olaxeiii @aejae-ssi @queenofthecliff @dragonwitchgaming @lifeisnorainbow @2seokkyo @chisana-himawari @serendipitiousbutterfly @unknownbluekey @katkit73 @bang-zero

Cannot be Tagged: @musicandbooksandfoodohmy @honeylovetae @lilacbaby11 @cat-the-caitlin @hobi_isadaydream

[Message me to be added to the tag list so you can be notified for future chapters]

× × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × × ×

Hoseok waited patiently for you to finish your shower, sitting in the living room to get his heart rate down. He assessed the situation, he was now the owner of a hybrid, not only a hybrid, but one that has been through a lot and still manages to be completely innocent. He also assessed that he had absolutely no clue how to care for one. We're there regulations? Special diets? Oh no did he have to take you to get fixed? The actual thought of taking you to a vet had him experiencing waves of anxiety. He was so worked up that when you walked into the living room he didn't even notice.

"I'm finished" you say, and he jumps and looks up at you. You were clean, ears still slightly damp but had a small shine in the black and grey. Your tail, sticking through the baggy grey sweats, flickered nervously. Now that it was clean, be could see where the clumps had been pulled out. Some pink patches poked through and Hoseok's heart clenched uncomfortably at the sight, and he has reminded of your hands. He licked his lips, a nervous habit, and stood up and walked over to you. You watched him curiously,  and he hands came to your own, and you flinched slightly, but he turned them over.

The skin was a pale red color, the skin still freshly aggravated and probably caused pain. There were slight droplets of blood, but nothing to serious. "Does it hurt?" He asks gently, and you avert your eyes, staring down at your hands.

"No, it doesn't" it was a lie, that was obvious. Hoseok frowned, how many times had you had to keep your pain from Yeonsoo, afraid of being punished further.  

"It does kitten, and if you're hurt you should tell me. You won't get in trouble I promise" He says, and you nod. He let's go of your hands, and goes into the bathroom, rummaging under the sink and pulled out a med kit. When he returned to the living room, you were still standing  where he had left you. He gestured to the couch, taking a seat. You hesitantly sat next to him, your tail curling around your waist securely. He opens the med kit and sets it on the coffee table.  He takes the opened box of gauze and antibiotic cream, and a couple of alcohol patches. You frown, seeing that everything had been used before.  

"Do you get hurt too?" You ask, looking up at him. Hoseok shrugs, ripping open the paper of the patches and pulling out the potent cloth, the smell making you wrinkle your nose as it stung your nose.

"I get scratched a lot when I work with tools. I work as a mechanic and I'm bound to get cuts and bruises. This'll sting a bit, but it'll help" he says and presses the pad to your skin. You hiss, ears pressing flat against your head and tail clenching tightly. A small whimper followed as he wiped the other. Hoseok whispered out a couple of 'sorry' and 'it's okay you're doing great' and applied some antibiotic cream to them, which soothed the burn instantly. "I also used to race motorcycles, and I got road rash a couple of times" he added. You listened intently, your eyes looking up to his concentrated face. He wrapped your hands in the gauze, and when he finished, he gave you a small smile, which made you let out a small purr in thanks.

"Thank you master- I mean Hoseok" you correct yourself quickly and he laughs.

"No problem kitten. Now, there isn't much I can do for your tail, it's already healed" he says, and you glance down at your abused tail, and it flicks self-consciously. "But I'll ask Namjoon what I could put on it. His cat hybrid Jimin used to scratch his as a nervous habit before he was adopted, and Namjoon put something on it to heal the bare patches" he babbles.

"He would pull it when I wasn't paying attention" you told him, and he frowned

"Yeonsoo?"

"Yes. I would daydream, and if I wasn't listening or answer him, he'd pull it to get my attention. Or he did it if I messed up or did something wrong" your voice was quiet, and Hoseok wanted to comfort you, but he feared you'd flinch away if he tried to pet you.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore Y/n. Yeonsoo won't get his filthy hands on you ever again, not if I have anything to say about it" Hoseok says firmly, and a spark of warmth crept up his spine when you smiled radiantly at him. He returned a small one back."Let's get you to bed"

You had instantly curled up as soon as you fell on the bed, pulling the blanket over yourself and closed your eyes. Hoseok stood in the doorway for a moment. You looked so small, and the baggy clothes didn't help either. You just looked so fragile and he had the same urge to protect you like he did the first time he saw you. A lot has happened in in the past few hours. He made sure you were firmly asleep before walking down the hall and into his own bed to sleep.

There was a dilemma when he dressed for work in the morning. You'd be left alone, and he wasn't sure if he liked the thought of that. You laid out on the couch, stretching out in a cat-like way as you watched him throw on his uniform and pour coffee into a thermos as he rambled on about leaving you at home alone. He was a very interesting human, one that could keep his cool and act nonchalant one moment, and completely be flustered and inadequate the next.

"I don't mind staying at home alone Hoseok, honest" you peer at him from fallen on your face. Hoseok glanced at you, buttoning the navy shirt of his uniform and a piece of bacon dangling from his mouth. You giggled at the sight, and he quickly chewed the rest of the bacon.

"Are you sure? I feel guilty, I could take you in with me" he says, a bit to himself. You wrinkle your nose in distaste.

"No offense Hoseok, but the thought of spending the day in a shop that reeks of motor oil and sweat isn't my idea of a fun time." He laughed and you sat up, taking a piece of bacon and chewed it happily.

"Alright alright, I'm just nervous"

"Really? Couldn't tell. I'll be okay, I've been left alone plenty of times" you say, and Hoseok sighs, and nods

 "Okay kitten." He nods, and walks towards the front door, but freezes and turn back around.

"What do you eat?" He asks suddenly. You cock your head at him, confused.

"Uh, food?"

"What kind? What do you like? Is there a certain thing I should he feeding you?" He asks

"Lots of kinds. I like fish, but not crabs. I can't have regular milk, the fat content makes me break out into hives and I get a belly ache. Ma- He always complained I was expensive and cost him money to feed. I like almond milk even though it has a weird after taste." You say. "And they have supplements for hybrids, like vitamins but I don't need themas long as I get plenty of meat and liquids" you say. Hoseok repeats this under his breath, and nods.

"I don't have any almond milk, but I have fish sticks somewhere in the freezer. But help yourself to the fridge kitten what's mine is yours" he smiles at the way you grin. "I should be home around 5 okay?"

"Okay Hoseok" You yawn, already prepared to take a cat nap in the patch of sun that peeked through his blinds. Hoseok chewed his lip, still unsure of leaving you alone, but you looked content enough, so he grabbed his car keys and headed out to the garage.

 "I'm telling you Hobi, it's a piece of shit. I don't know why you continue to drive it" Kim Taehyung scrunches his nose when Hoseok pulled into the shop. "And it's hideous as well" Hoseok rolled his eyes, stepping out and running a hand through his hair.

"Tae, your specialty is muscle cars, not race cars.  So shut up about my baby she's doing fine" Hoseok pats the hood of his beloved car. No, it wasn't the one he raced with, but it was an older car, and he was attached to it, he better be he fixed it from the ground up. Sure it likes to stall when turning on and the paint needs a new coat, but it was his child. Taehyung chuckles at Hoseok's words, taking a drink of his Pepsi.

"If you call two seconds away from falling apart 'okay' then sure, it's just peachy"

"Don't you have someone's oil to change" Hoseok says hauntily, and Taehyung huffs and slinks back to the back of the garage. Hoseok pulled the buliten down from his desk, checking the recent repos and bring-ins of the week. There had been at least 20 cars repoed for missing payments, which meant 20 angry phone calls he wasn't ready to deal with.

He worked diligently, the garage kept busy with fixing cars and getting them out to their respectable owners, and Hoseok was busy trying to negotiate with angry customers about getting their cars back.

"All you need to do is go to the Repo office off of Dowchien Street and file some paperwork, and pay the fee to get your car back" Hoseok sighed as the old woman cursed him about how she was missing several doctor's appointments and having to take the bus to go to the store. "Ma'am I just take and hold the cars, you need to go to the head office to get it back" Hoseok pressed his knuckles against his skull, rubbing the area as he was cursed out more before the lady finally realized that he wasn't going to give her car back without visiting the office.

"She sounded delightful" Namjoon grinned at Hoseok in the doorway of his office. Hoseok glared up at him, standing and stretching.

"Oh yeah, if you like hearing about irritatable bowel syndrome and bunions needing to be removed" Hoseok shivered and Namjoon laughed. "Put me in a car and on a road any day this day job shit is killing me" He groans.

 "You're the one who wanted to use the shop as a cover Hobi" Namjoon so wisely pointed out. "And you don't hate it either so quit your whining"

"No but I do hate angry people yelling at me for them not making car payments" Hoseok walked past Namjoon and entered the back of the garage. Taehyung and a couple of other employees bustled around repairing different aspects of the cars.

"Hmm if only everyone could see Seoul's Drift King now" Namjoon teases and Hoseok flipped him off as he reached into the mini fridge and pulled out a water bottle, taking a long drink. "So how's your kitty doing?" Namjoon asks

"Okay, I think. She's really jumpy, but she let me dress her hands, does that mean something?"

"Means she trusts you. Took me 3 months before Jimin would be in the same room as me. "

"She still flinches when I touch her though" he frowns

"Can you blame her? I'm not sure she's had a kind touch in awhile.  Give her time Hobi"

"You're right" Hoseok sighs.  "Do you still have that stuff you used on Jimin's tail?"

"Sure, I always keep some in case his anxiety acts up again. Why?"

"Yeonsoo did a number on Y/n's poor tail, she's missing clumps of fur"

"Asshole." Namjoon mutters darkly. "You should have seen him when you left. He got out of his car and vowed to exact revenge or some site evil villains say in the movies. But I'll bring a bottle over for you"

"Thanks, and I'm not too worried about him. I can handle him" Hoseok says.

"If you say so. We've got a new, ah, 'shipment' coming in on Tuesday, are to ready?"

"Aren't I always?"

Hoseok was relieved when he went home that night. He wondered if you were okay. Sure you've been left home before but it didn't feel right just leaving you to your own devices for the whole day in a new place. He stopped by and grabbed take out, not in the mood to cook anything for dinner. He parked in the garage and grabbed the take out, unlocking the door and entering the house. When he stepped in he sensed immediately something was off. It was too quiet. He frowned, glancing around the dimly lit hallway "Y/n?" He called out, inching into the living room. A creak had him on edge and tense. He grabbed a the baseball bat that leaned against the garage door, gripping it tightly as he entered the living room.

You were standing there, wide eyed and chest heaving with breath. Your fur was fluffed out to the max, and your eyes laid on the baseball bat. You wailed, throwing yourself to the floor in front of his feet and grabbed his legs. Hoseok yelped in shock, staring down at you.

"I'm sorry master I'm so so sorry! I w-was just walking and my tail hit it and it fell over! Please forgive me I know I'm a bad cat" you cried, pawing at his shirt and burying your head into his hip.

W-What? Y/n what are you talking about" he frowned, still confused. Your body wracked with sobs, your words incomprehensible. Hoseok set the take out on the counter and dropped the bat to the floor, the crash making you jump and squeak. He pried your hands from his shirt, and knelt down so you were face to face.  

"Calm down Kitten, just tell me what happened" he says slowly, and you whimpered.

"The vase. I broke it. I'm sorry" you say, cheeks puffy and tear tracks down your face.  Hoseok looks over your head and sees the vase that had been sitting on his TV Stand was smashed on the floor in a thousand pieces.  His eyes widened and he immediately began searching your body.

"Are you hurt? You didn't cut yourself did you?" He asks. You hiccup, frowning

"W-what?"

"Did you cut yourself on the glass?" He demands,  checking for any sign of blood.

"N-no I- you aren't mad?" You sputter, frowning. You were sure you'd face punishment for breaking his possession. You hadn't even been here long and caused an accident, and you thought for sure Hoseok would be angry and throw you out.

"No I'm not mad Y/n" Hoseok sighs in relief. "I'm just happy you aren't hurt."

"But....but I broke your vase" you frown at him.

"To be honest, you saved me a terrible story to explain to my sister why I got rid of the ugly vase she'd gotten me for Christmas. Now I can say my hybrid accidentally knocked it over" he smiles and you frown

"So I'm not being punished?"

"No it was an accident Y/n" Hoseok frowns and you nod your head in understanding. "Are you hungry?'

"A bit" you admit.

"Good. I brought home take out" he says, standing up and grabbing a broom and dustpan before sweeping up the broken vase, careful not to miss any pieces that could imbed themselves into any soft fleshed feet. You watch him as he worked, still slightly expecting to get yelled at, but after a few minutes you relaxed when it appeared it wouldn't come. Hoseok pulled down two plates, piling on steamed rice and chicken and vegetables and a bunch of assorted foods he always got when he ate take out. He pushed the bigger plate towards you, and you eye it doubtfully.

"Why did you give me your plate Hoseok?" You ask, pushing it back to him. Hoseok shakes his head, pushing it back.

"I didn't. It's yours."

But there's more food on it" you frown

"Yes, I'm not too hungry tonight, and I got extra for you"

"All of it?"

"All of it" He says firmly. You nod, still unsure but when you began eating, it was difficult to stop with all the tasty things he had gotten you, but you didn't touch the gross smelling stuff on the side of the plate. Hoseok noticed this, as he ate the very thing you wouldn't. "You don't like Kim Chi?"

"No. It's gross and vile" you say firmly and Hoseok pouted.

"I'm not sure how we'll get along from now on, I love Kim Chi" he says, and affronted look on his face, but a glimmer in his eye showed that he was kidding,  and you giggled.

"I don't know, guess you'll just have to stop then" you smile mischievously at him and he laugh

"I don't think so kitten" he snorts and continues to eat. Oh god, he thinks, I think I can probably handle her.