#i've already thought up and started on a small part 2 to this lol that's how fucked up christian and his insta lives have me

[kaysungshine]

Redamancy ['red-a-man-sE] noun ;a love returned in full

Part II out now!

{ Pairing } - idol!bangchan x staff!afab.reader (with a hint of bestfriend!jisung?)

{ Genre } - NSFW, the trifecta (s/a/f), frenimies to friends to lovers? idk but we'll get there in the end

{ Synopsis } - Han Jisung is your new bestie & technical colleague, of course you befriended the rest of his members. Group nights became a tradition, & tonight involves liquor and drinking games for the first time. Truth or drink?

{ WC } - 6.7k

{ Warnings & tags } - 18+ MDNI, NSFW, smut, angst, fluff, drinking, breath play (choking), swearing, dry humping, use of 'babygirl', mention of wet dream, talk of edging, talk of domming, talk of choking, talk of exhibitionism, all of ot8 is suggestive af when they drink, reader and jisung are PLATONIC I promise they're just touchy, they're all giggly drunks so overuse of laughing chuckling and giggling, chan is kinda dumb in this he just... is in denial land but we'll find out more about that later, unrealistic work scenarios, unrealistic dorm setup? idk lol

{ Disclaimer } - This work is in no way associated with the actual skz, and is a fictional piece. I DO NOT own Stray Kids, this fic is just influenced by them!

{ A/N } - Okay I know I took forever to post & this intro is hella long & I'm sorry! Once again, I will say this is my first skz fic. I come from the world of AO3 & dramione. I am out of my comfort zone lol. First time posting stories on tumblr too! So if I missed anything please let me know <3 there will be a part 2, I've already started writing it! The plot is weak af, but gimme a few more stories and I'll find my groove. Promise! Unbeta'd, be gentle with me ���

It was supposed to be a relatively chill Saturday night, so you were excited. You just got off work, and had arrived at Jisung's. He swung the door open smiling and pulled you inside, into an immediate hug. Everyone said their greetings, and then Jisung went immediately to whining.

"Finally, what kept you so late?"

You took your shoes, mask, sunglasses, and hat off, letting your curls fall down your back. Then you unzipped your sweatshirt, shrugging it off your shoulders and exposing your fitted white tee. You gave your jacket and bag to Ji so he could put them away. You always arrived in 'disguise', in baggy clothing so that no one suspected anything. Though you thought it was ridiculous. It doesn't matter how baggy the sweat pants or hoodie is, there's no hiding the curve of your ass.

You were a content editor at JYPE, and had become really good friends with Han Jisung. Friendships between idols and staff certainly aren't forbidden, in fact they're encouraged to an extent... as long as no lines are crossed. But it's pretty much an ignored rule. Anyways, you were a small 'behind-the-scenes' employee, not a manager or assistant or makeup artist. Not anyone directly involved with any idols. No one off the street knew who you were. Still, over the last almost year or so, you and him became besties. You frequently shared meals together at work, had sleepovers, you even went camping. You were basically glued to each other. It could easily be taken the wrong way by the media and fans. Hell, it gets taken the wrong way by co-workers, other idols, and even his group members. Although they've mostly accepted that's not the case. It's a given with the way you two act though.

Your relationship is definitely platonic, confirming pretty early on that neither of you felt anything more than friendly love for each other. But you both love teasing the other suggestively. You suppose that's partly why you two got so close so quickly. Your personalities are so similar, it's like you share the same singular brain cell sometimes.

"Editing, per usual." You finally reply with a sigh, "We had to cut A LOT out of nexz's new video. They're so high energy, they slip up a lot, especially with the swearing, but nothing we can't handle."

"Gotta love kids." Chan snorts while sipping a beer.

You smile awkwardly in response and look around the room. Everyone is here, all with their preferred beverages, and chatting away or scrolling.

Ji comes back with a drink for you, he knows you're partial to tequila and always keeps it on deck. Normally, you spend every weekend you can together, which sometimes is not as often as either of you would like. Sometimes you'd both head back to your place, and just have all nighters, binge watching anime and gorging yourselves on junk food. More recently, like tonight, you get invited over to hang with him and the rest of the boys.

It usually results in a few drinks and a movie, or talk about work. Sometimes you just play music and talk and vibe, or try to cook food together when you get the munchies... Which more than likely results in Minho taking over because he just can't help himself. However the nights play out, they're always fun, and you're gradually getting closer to the rest of the members too. Although no one can compare to the bond you have with your Jiji.

"I don't wanna watch a movie tonight, my eyes hurt too much." He starts complaining.

"Poor baby." You tease and run your fingers through his hair, laughing.

"When are you two just going to come out with the fact that you're in love?" Seungmin asks.

You roll your eyes, "When dwaekki's fly."

"I can easily make that happen." Changbin laughs.

"We could play a game?" Felix suggests, already looking flushed from the alcohol.

Jeongin gets excited, "Let's do a drinking game! It's been a while."

"I don't believe I've ever played a drinking game with y'all."

Hyunjin hums, "Mm, you haven't. Mostly because we get crazy, we've never brought up the idea."

This piqued your interest, "More crazy than I've already seen? I don't think that's possible."

Minho chimes in this time, "You forget we're a group of men sometimes, I swear. Mix alcohol and suggestive games, it definitely gets 'crazier' than you've seen, inappropriately crazy."

You level him with a smirk, "I'm down."

"That's my y/n!" Ji says, while pulling you to sit in his lap, "Fearless."

You giggle and lean into him while Minho just narrows his eyes at you and purses his lips. Something tells you he's up to something, but you're ready for any challenge.

"Fine. Then we'll play something easy, truth or drink. If someone refuses to answer, they drink. Whoever finishes their drink first loses." Minho says.

"What does the loser have to do?" You ask.

"Pay for everyone's lunch every day for a month!" Changbin says.

"Deal." You say. 

You're an open book, Ji knows this. There's no question you won't answer.

Everyone is up now, getting new drinks & refills before the game starts. You can't help but notice that Chan didn't get up, he looks a little nervous for some reason. He was always the most worried about you being around so much. In the beginning it definitely came across like he didn't like you. Now you know that's not the case... you think. He tolerates you now to say the least. You couldn't blame him too much, he was just protective of his boys. You actually found it incredibly sweet, or maybe it's just that stupid soft spot you have for him.

He always tried to keep you at arms length from the group. Not wanting anyone to get too close to you. Until Jisung put him in his place, as best he could anyways.

You were in Ji's lap, watching Spirited Away. He was drawing imaginary lines and shapes on your back, while you rested your head on his shoulder, facing the tv. His head was resting on top of yours as well, and a blanket covered you both.

Chan walked in seeing this, and nearly had a stroke. He said we were being inappropriate. And specifically made it a point to tell you to be more professional as a member of the staff. Short version: know your fucking place, you're overstepping. 

You scoffed at him, prepared to confront him about his growing disdain towards you. Let him know he's the one being inappropriate, downright childish. But Ji nudged you onto the couch and got to him first.

It was kind of cute watching him standing there, ears becoming red and getting in Chan's face. Cute in the way that it was like a maltese puppy trying to stand up to a doberman. Then he proceeded to yell at him about how he was way out of line. Saying he was being flat out disrespectful and that he was done with the ridiculous way he has been acting about you. The last thing he said was that he didn't know what got into him, and that he'd never seen this side of Chan before. 

Chan was silent, looking intensely into Jisungs eyes. But he never backed down, so Chan poked his tongue to his cheek, then retreated to his room for the whole night. You had to scoop Ji off the floor right afterwards. He had let his knees buckle, and fell to the floor once Chan was gone. Citing that he wasn't sure he was going to live through the night to see the morning sun. Typical dramatic fashion for your best friend. But you soothed him, fluffing up his ego about 'defending your honor'. His words, not yours.

As that night went on though, the tiniest bit of worry coursed through you. Chan hadn't come back out. Not even when the other members came home, trying to knock on his door to greet him. Or when the food was ready to be served, you had even given knocking a try. Only after Hyunjin begged you to, because 'He already doesn't take care of himself. He needs to eat.' No, you didn't see him again that night until you had already walked out the front door. He slipped out behind you shortly after, grabbing you by the wrist and stopping you. 

You thought he was going to continue the argument for a moment, but no, he was apologizing. Not much more was said afterwards, but his apology was genuine and heartfelt, so you accepted it. You two ended up hugging it out, and thank goodness no one saw that, because it was incredibly cringeworthy. He had no more major issues after that. But he was still unexplainably awkward around you, but it's not like you were any better. You two simply didn't know how to interact with each other for longer than 30 seconds. And that was pushing it. You suspected that might not ever go away. He likes to keep his walls high and strong, and you're stubborn at times.

But of course,  despite that stubbornness. You developed some sort of feelings towards him. Feelings you refused to acknowledge, well tried to refuse. You would push those feelings down deep within your heart, put them in a little box, and tape it shut trying to forget it's there. There was no need to pine over the man, he had stay to do that for him, and who knows who else in his life. Somehow that box always ended up ripped open again.

There was never a reason to act on these feelings. Not to mention, you think you'd be breaking SO MANY rules. Putting your job, his job, hell everyone's job at risk. Or worse, making a fool of yourself when he would downright reject you.

You keep watching him, now he's shaking his leg up and down, seeming agitated. Maybe he just doesn't want everyone getting into a vulnerable state of mind while playing? Maybe he's worried somebody will say or do something wrong? That someone will cross a line, as he loves to say?

Trying to ease his negative feelings, and extend yet another olive branch. You toss a throw pillow at him, hitting him in the chest and pulling him out of his thoughts.

He looks at you, eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, and you just chuckle nervously at him saying, "Don't worry, it's like Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

"God how fuckin' corny was that?" Ji teases you, poking your side making you giggle more.

To your relief, Chan is laughing with you, and shaking his head, "I just want them to behave."

"Oh relax, we're all grown. We're all friends. So we'll get to know each other more intimately, big whoop." You shrug.

"Mmm..." He replied, before raising his voice so everyone could hear him, "Whatever is spoken about tonight, doesn't leave this room."

"I swear you're the one with anxiety sometimes, not me." Ji mumbles.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... dad." Hyunjin says as he sits next to you and Ji.

"As if that announcement even had to be made, I swear, and you wonder why we call you old." Seungmin comments.

Once everyone is settled in with their drinks, Minho directs Chan to start the game.

"Jisung, when was the last time you cried?"

He laughed, "You're trying to embarrass me because you know it was this morning, but I am confident and secure in the fact that I am a sensitive man."

He said the last bit with his hand over his heart, and his eyes closed, effectively making everyone chuckle.

"My poor baby, why were you crying?" You question teasingly.

"Please don't bring it up, he'll start blubbering all over again. Stupid, sad, dog rescue videos." Seungmin mumbles.

"Minho!" Ji shouts, pointing at him dramatically, "This question is for you. If you had to kiss someone in this room on the cheek, who would it be?"

"Hyunjin." He said bluntly, making you and everyone else laugh while Hyune just rolled his eyes.

"Would you kiss me back?" He asked him, eyes full of hope and bottom lip jutted out and pouting, trying to act cute. And succeeding, honestly.

Hyunjin acted like he was pondering the question, but ultimately was the first to take a sip from his glass, "I decline to answer."

He looked to you next, a suggestive smirk on his face, making you the next victim, "Y/niiieee..."

"Oi, be respectful." Chan scolds immediately, not liking the look at all.

"All I was going to do was repeat the question!" He said defensively, "Y/n, if you had to choose, who would you kiss on the cheek?"

You tried hard to keep your eyes from trailing over to Chan, a tingly feeling spreading across your skin at the mere thought of innocently kissing his cheek. Instead you chose the easy answer, because it wasn't a lie. You'd also kiss your best friend on the cheek any time.

"My Jiji of course," And you took his face in one hand, squeezing his cheeks between your middle finger and thumb, and plant a loud smooch on each of them, "he probably only asked because he wanted one anyways."

He just chuckles, letting you baby him and Seungmin fake gags.

"Minnieee..." You pause trying to come up with a question, "when you dye your hair next, what color would you want?"

"Green, my entire head green."

"That would look interesting." You laugh.

You all go 'round in circles for a few rounds, completely forgetting about the rules of the game. Having now finished your glasses from casually sipping throughout the game, most of you have switched to occasional shots. You're starting to feel warm and tipsy. Of course the more you all drank, the more the questions started to get more... amorous. Which is exactly how you all assumed this game would go. No wonder Chan was so anxious.

However looking over to him now, he's definitely having a good time. Like every other person, he loosens up while drinking, but tonight he seems even more so.

"Y/n," Chan starts with a sly look making your skin buzz again. Among all of you, he is 100% the most inebriated right now, "when was your first kiss?"

"Yah! He tells us to be respectful, but look how he is after a few drinks!" Changbin yells laughing.

Chan loses it, "You're right Binnie, you don't have to answer or drink." He says in between fits of squeaky laughter. 

You think you could listen to him laugh all day.

You shake your head and snort, "I've answered worse questions playing this game before. I was 13 when I had my first kiss."

Hyunjin nearly spits his drink out, because again, no one is drinking just as punishment anymore, "13?!"

"Well, yeah, it's a pretty normal age in America... I think..." you started to blush, "why, how old were you?" you ask Hyunjin.

He hesitates, but eventually he spoke, "I was 18."

The rest chime in saying they were also 18 or 19. With the exception of Felix who said he was 16.

Without even thinking you start to say, "Aaah, see I was 18 when I-" and you're abruptly stopped with Ji's hand slapping over your mouth.

Your eyes go wide, caught off guard, but understanding as you almost blurted out unnecessary information. Nothing that Ji hadn't known obviously, it's just that everyone else doesn't really know you on that level. 

"Jagi, you only had to answer the one question, adding extra info, that's not how you play the gaaaaame." He says in a sing-song voice, "Hyunjin it's your turn to ask someone."

"No no no no! What was she going to say?" Chan chuckles.

When you looked at him, he winked at you, and you had to stop yourself from going limp in Ji's arms. He knew damn well what you were going to say. Why is he teasing, no torturing you like this?

You peel Ji's hand off your mouth to respond "It's not your turn, you'll have to wait to ask me that."

The group starts laughing and shouting, teasing Chan who is ignoring it all, just staring at you with curious eyes and his tongue in his cheek. Does he know how hot he looks doing that?

"Okay, so then I'll ask you. What were you going to say?" Hyunjin asks calmly, trying to fight the smile off his face.

You pour yet another shot, and knock it back thinking, what the hell, "I was going to say I was 18 when I first hooked up with a man."

Some members looked surprised, the game taking an obvious turn. However Hyunjin, Felix, and Chan started laughing again.

"I knew that's what you were going to say." Felix slurred. 

"Yeah I was definitely teasing you on that, because I knew." Chan followed.

"Mmm, well judging from the shocked faces of everyone else, you two seem to be the only psychics." You try to joke, wanting the attention off of you suddenly.

"No, don't get us wrong, not all of us are as innocent as you think." Seungmin says defensively.

"Oh really now?" You respond, one brow quirking up.

Seungmin just turned red, and sat back in his seat. To which Chan started laughing, yet again. He's a giggly drunk, and you love it.

"Don't tease my puppy, babe." Ji slurred, trying to reach his arm to console Seungmin, but ultimately failing.

"I mean I was 18 too, with the same girl I first kissed." Hyunjin shrugged.

"But what do you mean 'to a man'?" Jeongin asked with a shit eating grin on his face. 

You promptly turned into a tomato, and started choking on air.

"You're not that slow pabo, obviously it means she's been with women too." Ji says, rather loudly and speaking freely, all while patting your back.

You're quiet. It's not like it's a secret, you've never hidden your sexuality. But it never came up in conversation with anyone here, except Jisung.

Wanting to ease the tone, Felix speaks up, "Well I was 18 when I first hooked up with a dude."

"I was 21, but everyone already knows that story." Ji slurred.

The whole conversation triggers another group laughing fit. Except for Chan, who is looking at you with those dark eyes again. And... is he blushing? Or is that the alcohol? He eventually snaps out of whatever daze he was in, and slowly smiles at you reassuringly.

You mentally kick yourself for getting your hopes up, of course he couldn't ever think of you like that. You're imagining things.

"But then, how old were you when you first hooked up with a girl?" Jeongin asked again, genuinely curious.

"A lot younger than 18..." You trailed off laughing, "I'll just say in high school."

"The air is different outside of Korea." Changbin says suddenly, sounding thoughtful.

Hyunjin nearly collapsed laughing, slapping Minho on the knee repeatedly, despite the glare he was shooting him.

"Well I just answered a bunch of questions in a row so that means I get to ask two people a question. And the second person I ask gets the next turn." You say, making up new rules. 

"So... Chan." He looks at you with his eyebrows raised and you just smirk, knowing you're trying to get back at him, "How old were YOU when you lost your virginity?"

He gulps and looks around at the group before answering, "I... was 18."

"Chan-hyung, you never answered us when we would ask you! Why answer her?" Jisung whines.

"I honestly don't know, maybe it's the liquor. None of you ever asked me drunk." He starts giggling.

"Okay so question 2... Binnie!" He gulps and looks at you with wide eyes, "Are you more of a boob guy?" You say grabbing your own, not even really thinking about it, "Or an ass guy?"

Changbin started laughing and answered, "Definitely ass, but I appreciate boobs too, equality."

"I am just learning so much about my fellow members lately." Seungmin whispers.

"Is that a bad thing?" You giggle.

"Not at all, it feels strangely comforting, letting loose like this." He replies and smiles softly at me, "It's been a while."

"It's freeing!" Jeongin yells abruptly, throwing his hands in the air.

"Aye, my question is for you then Min. Have you ever had a wet dream?" Changbin asks.

"... what guy hasn't? Don't all guys get them?" He asks looking around.

Then you chime in again frankly, "Girls can get them too you know."

Why does it feel like you've opened pandora's box on your sex life, in every single aspect?

Ji starts laughing, nodding his head vigorously and you know where this is about to go.

"Really now?" Felix says, mimicking your exact tone from earlier, "What was it about?"

"Mmmm... it's not your turn to ask," Then you turn to Seungmin, "And if you ask me, I will absolutely drink and not answer. No way I'm explaining a sex dream right now."

Seungmin just rolls his eyes and huffs out a laugh.

"But I wanna knooooooow," Jisung whines, "You looked so cute having one last weekend, you never told me what it was about."

Everyone was watching you two closely now, waiting to hear how he knew what you looked like in that situation.

You turned around and smacked his arm, "We weren't going to mention that ever again! Remember?!" You attempt to be angry, but you can't help it and end up smiling.

"Okay, well now I'm curious since you two are bringing this up." Minho says with a glint in his eye.

"Y/n may or may not have had one when I slept over, and I woke up to her moaning and hump--"

This time it was your turn to slap a hand over his mouth, "Jiji, Sungie, my love, my sweet sweet SWEET best friend. I don't want to kill you, but I will." You say in a dulcet tone.

He raised his hands, eyes wide and nodded his head. You couldn't help but laugh, apparently you're a giggly drunk too.

Out of the corner of your eye, you swore you saw Chan adjusting himself in his pants. But then you reminded yourself that it was just wishful thinking and an alcohol induced hallucination. Horny hallucination. God you needed to get over him and under someone else. This unrequited shit wasn't for you.

"I'm so never going to drop this you know, I wanna know what the hell happened." Minho smirked at you, to which you flipped him off jokingly.

It's Seungmin's turn next, and he's just staring at Jeongin with a blank face, "Have you ever had a one night stand?"

He pauses for a moment and then finally answers, "No, I haven't."

He looked at you now, asking his question, "You know what I have to ask now, right?"

"Go ahead." You challenge, fully prepared to choke down another shot and not answer his question, and he smiles.

"What's one of your kinks?"

You were unprepared for that question. And how could you know he would ask that, these men like to fuck around with your head.

"Relax, I just wanted to see your reaction." He says before chuckling.

You glared at him for a moment, halfheartedly. They think they can just retract questions when they get scared that they went too far. Screw that, you're answering.

"I guess the most simple one I have is edging." You shrug.

"The most simple one?!" Hyunjin asked.

"What are you a masochist? Edging is the worst, feels like torture to me." Ji says.

"But the build up is so delicious, and the end result is so worth it. It's so intense." Felix chimes in, "Choking too, that can be intense." 

"Hm, breath play might actually be my favorite." You admit.

"Damn y/n." Ji says, eyeing you with a smile, "You're full of surprises, even to this day." 

You shrug again, "Everyone has different kinks... What's one of yours?" You ask him.

He ponders for a moment, "I like being dommed sometimes."

"Big surprise." Minho says and you all laugh.

"Good one though," You nod, "That's one of mine too."

"I think I'm an exhibitionist, to an extent of course." Hyunjin says next.

"That's also not a surprise." Minho replies.

You can't help but let your eyes wander over to Chan again, while everyone else is sharing different things they're into in bed. The liquor has everyone speaking loosely. But Chan doesn't seem to care about it anymore.

You find him staring right back at you, that same look in his eyes from earlier, and you feel heat spread in your stomach, and wetness starts to pool in your panties. Maybe you weren't imagining things.

But you don't notice that Ji's observing both of you in his drunken haze. Not too faded to ignore you and Chan eye-fucking each other.

Your heart starts racing the longer you hold eye contact, and you start shifting uncomfortably on his lap, before looking away and deciding to get up.

"Alright... I need some bread to soak up this alcohol, and then I need to get home because it's already 2 in the morning." You say with a shaky breath.

"Yeah, I'm wasted right now," Jeongin says and stands, "Bed's a good idea. Goodnight everyone." And he leaves to his room.

Ji grabs your wrist, preventing you from moving, "You're not going anywhere. We're all drunk, you can't drive and no one can bring you back home."

"Fiiiiiiine," You say, "but I still want bread."

"You and your bread fixation whenever you drink." Minho mumbles, heading to the kitchen anyways to grab you some.

When he comes back he hands it to you and you start munching away happily, doing a little dance.

Meanwhile, Felix is trying to tug Chan's arms to make him stand up, but he's fighting him on it and whining. Clearly he exceeded his limit tonight drinking. He probably won't even remember the looks he was giving you, you think.

"I don't wanna go to bed." Chan whines.

Felix finally succeeds in pulling him up, "C'mon mate, you definitely need to sleep this off. You'll be miserable tomorrow. Let's get you some water too, hmm?"

Chan reluctantly holds his arm, and follows him down the hall, stumbling over his own two feet along the way. You can't help but laugh at the sight.

More of the boys say goodnight and head off to their rooms, but Ji and Minho stay with you in the living room, chatting a little longer before bed.

Ji starts going through his bags, determined that you left some pajamas here from when you slept over previously, and he kept them in a bag to give back to you. He pulls out the nightie, that you honestly forgot you brought here. But you see why you didn't ever wear it at the time. It's dark green, spaghetti straps and has lace along the bust line. It also has slits on each side of your thigh, and only covers you to the middle of your thighs. Your go to sleepware was always nighties or large tees, they're comfortable and sometimes you get hot at night. Mix in the fact that you were drinking tonight? You're already feeling overheated. But wearing this?

"Jiiiiiii, don't you have any t-shirts I can wear?" You whine.

He's already under the covers, fighting sleep, "Sorry babe... haven't done laundry... Nothing clean..."

You whine again before taking it and heading across the hall into one of the bathrooms. It was this or sleep in your sweats, and that idea sounded entirely too suffocating to you.

You slip the nightie on and brush your teeth with your designated toothbrush you had there. Jisungs idea, after you had too much tequila one night and he diligently held your hair back as you got sick.

You sigh as you're leaving, and make your way towards Ji's room. Before you reach the door though, Chan walks out of his room. He's in a black tank top, and red boxer briefs... your eyes immediately trail down and go wide. His outline clear as day. But you change your view quickly, hopefully before he notices.

It doesn't help though, now all you're doing is eyeing his arms, the muscles cut throughout them. The veins that trail all the way down to his hands. God, his hands... What wouldn't you let those hands do to you...

He scratches the back of his head, and the movement snaps you out of your gaze. You find him staring back at you for a second before answering, "Sorry, I'll just..."

You start to shake your head, "No, no. No reason to apologize." You chuckle and start shifting on your feet. You feel the skirt of your nightie swaying with you. It opened the slit wider, and Chan immediately looked down at your exposed thigh. He inhaled quietly, sucking in air through his nose.

Any other day, you'd be scrambling to cover yourself. Feeling insecure and too bare. You don't know if it was the liquor in you, but tonight? Being on display? It turned you on.

You clenched your thighs together, almost involuntarily, and Chan didn't miss that.

Time seemed to be moving too slow. He stepped towards you, nearly closing the gap between you. He's only inches away, and looking down on you. His eyes have that dark, smoldery look again. He raised his hand and brushed the curls off your face and behind your ear. When he rests his palm against your cheek, your eyes flutter shut and you lean into his touch. It's so warm, and comforting. As if it was always meant for you.

When you open your eyes, you can clearly see the lust in his is only growing. He's not holding it back anymore, biting his lip as he stares at you. You almost whimper in anticipation.

"This is your opportunity to walk away if you're not okay with me kissing you." He says lowly.

You closed your eyes, and his lips met yours. The first few seconds were sweet and soft. Almost too innocent for the heat of the moment, but then he deepened it. He was pulling you by the waist into him, running his hands down and resting them on your ass. You could easily feel how hard he was for you, even through the thin fabrics. This time you let the whimper out, and he swiped his tongue along your bottom lip before sucking it into his mouth. When you tried to do the same, he didn't give you the chance. Instead he slipped his tongue in. It was like he was lost in desire, and greedy for more. You couldn't help it when your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.

He groaned and started backing you into the wall, his lips never leaving yours. He grabbed your thighs in each hand, and hoisted you up, slotting himself between them. Your legs naturally wrapped around him, and he started rocking his length against you. His pace was achingly slow, but still delicious.

You moaned and slipped a hand up to the nape of his neck, grabbing a fistful of hair. He breaks the kiss and throws his head back with his eyes closed. He half hisses, half groans, and you can't help but rock your hips against him harder, hoping to hear more. He grips your thigh tighter, and leans down to press a quick kiss to your neck, before licking and sucking on it. He's meeting each roll of your hips with rough thrusts. And even clothed, you feel how perfectly he's rubbing your clit.

Your head is so clouded with need. Need to be touched. Need to touch him. Need to feel him inside of you. You don't even think twice when he glides his hand up your stomach, and over your breasts. He gives one a light squeeze before moving up to wrap his fingers around your neck, and your brain loses all sense for a moment.

He's just resting his hand there, but you wish he'd do more. You're not sure if this man knows just how pliant you are for him right now.

Then he brings his lips to your ear and whispers, "Can I touch you?"

His warm breath gives you chills, and you nod your head as best as you can. But that doesn't suffice him, he stops his movements against you and his grip around your throat tightens. You think you could probably get off on it if he tightens his fingers just a bit more, but he doesn't, instead he says, "I'm going to need words, babygirl."

Your hips buck into him, and you breathe out a quiet "Yes. Please..."

With that, he yanks your face closer to his by your neck. He's squeezing ever so slightly tighter around your throat. He bites your lip and you groan. But he's quick to silence you with his tongue.

Letting go, he trailed his hand back down your body and to your core. Slowly he started to rub you through the thin lace. You were so sensitive, that when he found your clit and pressed a circle into it. You couldn't help but breathe out his name. He pushed your panties to the side, and when he felt you for the first time you felt him smile against your lips.

"Babygirl... fuck, you're so wet for me." 

And as he whispered that, he slipped a finger in you. He set a steady pace, dragging against your walls with a curl. Each pump hitting your sweet spot, and the heel of his hand creating delightful friction against your swollen bud. His breathing was heavy in your ear, breaking through all your helpless whimpering. When he added a second finger, you couldn't hold back anymore.

"Chan..." You moaned louder this time, while simultaneously letting your head drop against the wall with a thud.

He pulled his lips off of you, eyes wide when he met yours. He started blinking as if he was coming back to reality. When he looked into your eyes again, he looked startled.

"What's wrong?" You pant, feeling hot and dizzy, wishing he would keep moving his hands.

Instead, he quickly slips his fingers out of you, and sets your feet on the floor. Then he backs away.

"I'm sorry, y/n... I don't know what came over me, that was incredibly inappropriate and out of character." Chan mumbled.

Your heart sinks, as you feel the sting of rejection. Tears threatened to well in your eyes, and you immediately felt the oncoming headache from holding them back. You shouldn't feel so emotional and upset. This was all spur of the moment. But you do, you feel devastated.

Regardless, you clear your throat, "I understand." You force an unsettling chuckle out, when a sob threatens to escape instead.

He puts on a blank face that feels so cold, and responds with "Don't forget to drink some water, stay hydrated... I'll be heading to bed now, you should too."

All you really want to say is don't leave, because you want to finish what was started. Because you've wanted this for so long. Because the box you kept away in the depths of your heart had ripped open once again. And all the languished emotions were here, front and center, aching to bear it all to him. To let him see. Confess. But that would be selfish, he's clearly uncomfortable with it all. He probably regrets it. An alcohol induced affair. In his eyes, a complete mistake. 

So instead you say, "Okay."

Because that's all you can muster before the tears start to fall. You turn away,  going back to facing Ji's door. 

"Goodnight y/n... Sleep well." He says, and puts a tentative hand on your shoulder.

You shrug it off, and escape to Ji's bedroom. To your surprise he's sitting up in bed, and ushering you come to him with his arms open and bottom lip pouted out.

You run to him, a bit dramatically and fall a part in his arms. But you can't help it, you sealed these emotions away for too long. You were too hurt at the moment to even try pushing them back down.

Jisung is your life saver, he's comforting you, rubbing his fingers on your scalp and rocking you back and forth to try and calm you. He gives you time before you have to explain why exactly you're having a melt down.

"Chan's an idiot." He finally says.

And you lean back to look at him, confused on how quickly he's put two and two together.

"Well you weren't exactly quiet. Between your exaggerated moans and his animalistic grunting right outside my door, of course I heard it." He rolled his eyes jokingly and that earned a laugh from you.

You smacked him lightly, "I was lost in the moment... don't judge me."

"Jagi..." He says, and wipes the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs, "You've liked him for so much longer than a moment."

Your heart starts pounding faster again. How could he know that. It's the one thing you've kept from him, from everyone, hell you even denied it to yourself for as long as possible. Was it that obvious? Who else knows? You go to speak, fear written across your face.

"No. You were not obvious, in fact you're an amazing actor. I'm sure none of the other members noticed, and definitely no one else at work knew." He answers before you can even get words out.

You nod slowly, "So then, how'd you know?"

He smiled proudly, "I'm a people watcher, I see all."

You smack him again, a little harder this time.

"Alright, alright, but I really did see all the looks you'd give him when no one else was watching... I know what longing looks like, and..." he trailed off.

You knew that wasn't all, "And?"

"Aaaaand... maybe that night you had that wet dream. You were moaning his name while humping the pillow..."

"You never told me that!" You shoved your head into your hands, distraught.

"Well I didn't want to embarrass you! I honestly didn't think you looked at any of us that way until then. Like I said, a good actor. I figured you'd tell me when you were ready to."

You sighed, "I'm sorry. It's just a stupid crush, it'll pass."

"You're grown, you don't have to apologize to anyone for liking someone. But y/n," He cupped your cheek forcing you to look at him again, "this isn't just a simple crush, is it?"

With that question, you felt the tears spilling all over again. He pulled you to lay down with him, holding you tight against him and letting you cry it all out. Somewhere between his low humming, and your quiet weeping, you fell asleep.

When you blink the sleep away from your eyes the next morning, you're still entangled with Ji. He's literally wrapped around you like a koala.

You snort out a laugh and go to check the time on your phone. 7:30 am, entirely too early. You decide to try and fall back asleep, but last night's events rush back to you. Dread fills your chest, and your fight or flight kicks in. You're trying to gently escape Ji's hold, and not hyperventilate. The latter is more difficult but, since that man can sleep through anything, you were able to succeed.

You get changed back into your clothes, and leave a note for him saying that you're leaving and you'll text him when you get home. You can't bear to face Chan, let alone anyone else who might've heard you two last night. So you decide to skip out on the usual coffee and breakfast routine. You all have that tradition after a drunken night, but you know Ji will cover for you with everyone anyways.

You're rushing down the hall, wanting to grab your things and head for the door. Panic is starting to bubble over, and you're haphazardly covering yourself up to be unnoticeable. As you're slipping the mask over your face, a voice stops you.

"Morning... don't you want to stay for breakfast?"

You can't bring yourself to look at Chan, those words only setting the box of emotions in your heart on fire. You know he only means it in the way that it is an unbroken tradition. No matter how sick one of you gets, group breakfast is a must for recuperation. No one has skipped it in the months you've been doing it. We all take care of each other. But the idea makes your mouth bitter, because you wish it was just you two. Alone. Making breakfast the morning after earth shattering sex. And the fact he doesn't mean it in that way in the slightest makes tears prick back into your eyes.

Yes, you know you're being petty. You should stick it through for your friends. Take a page from Chan and act like nothing ever happened. You just can't find it inside you to care, you need to go home and lick your wounds before facing anyone here again. Call it childish, but you didn't care.

You're struggling to find words and just blurt out, "No thanks." And rush out the door, heading to the safety of your car.

You left Chan standing there. Unbeknownst to you, hurting just as much.

Special thank you to @jeonginsleftcheek who encouraged me through finishing this! I had finished it, and then accidentally deleted the entire ending. But in turn, that was a good thing I think... because now there'll be a part 2! If you'd like to be added to a taglist, let me know and I'll start one! Feedback is always cherished, but be gentle pleeeeeeeease ♡

[daphwritesworld]

Chapter 3— Fool.

a/n: welcome back to the Be My Baby series! Sorry y'all, I left with some with friends and it went on waaaaay longer than I thought it would lol. I'm gonna break this chapter up into 2 parts so I can get it posted tonight. So an extra chapter will be added!! Chapter 4 will just be the part 2 of this one, and after that it'll be back on schedule. Oh and don't worry— chapter 4 will be out tomorrow btw!! that's where the big boy angst comes on. so y'all are safe until then. thank you for your support and happy reading < 3

(p.s. sorry I didn't proof read this again, lol. I will later & edit any details that need touching up. Again sorry this is late, but I hope getting part two and the Keira fic tomorrow will make up for it haha.)

content: sick!Reader, caretaker!Leah, straight up no smut (CRAZY I KNOOOOOW), mostly fluff, and some angst.

warnings: talks of not hydrating & eating properly, the flu, A&E/ER, confusion caused by sickness

synopsis: You wake up sick and you call the only person you can think of for help.

word count: 3.0k

Series Masterlist: here.

!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!

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The sound of your alarm doesn’t jolt you awake this morning. You’re already lying wide awake before it rolls around this time. You’d woken up early and your mind drifted to Leah, your whole situation together, barca, and the inevitable moment when they all come crashing together like a high speed train accident. Is it severely toxic and self destructive? Oh for sure…but who’s gonna stop you?

You stretch out your limbs as you set up in bed, turning off your alarm as you settle back into your own skin. There’s a rolling storm of anxiety filling your gut, and as your feet touch the ground it flies up to your throat. You run to the bathroom and barely make it to the toilet in time, emptying out your stomach contents. Which at the moment is just your bile. The sweating must’ve started when you were in bed; because you quickly notice the dampness of your shirt from the temperature drop in the bathroom. The cold tiles seep through Leah’s sweats and chill your body down. You shiver after a few minutes, staying seated on the floor as you take a moment to catch your breath.

You make quick work of going to grab your phone and sending your boss a quick message. As soon as it's sent you make your way to the shower. It's only when you bend down to take your pants off that you realize how sick you truly are. Your vision goes blurry and your head starts floating in and out of dizziness. You slowly lower your body, your hands making contact with the floor as you set yourself down. It's then that the headache starts— like your brain is pounding against your forehead on repeat. It's sharp and never ending, leaving you to crumble down into tears.

You don't have a car, and even if you did— you are in no state to operate a vehicle right now, and you definitely don't feel confident enough to order a taxi like this. So you are left with one option. One you know you're gonna regret when you're not sick and delusional, but it's the one thing your broken mind can think of…You call Leah. You crawl across the tiled floor and get your phone off the counter, dialing her number as you pray she picks up. And of course she does, because by the third ring her voice is greeting you through the speakers. "I knew you couldn't resist me, darling. I've just been wait—"

"Le…" you cut her off with a sob of her nickname. Your head is painfully throbbing now, and your mouth is so dry your throat is scratchy. She can tell just from the small amount of your voice she hears.

"y/n, hey— what's wrong? I'm on my way, alright? I'll be there soon, just stay on the phone with me," Leah's moving before the first word even leaves her mouth. She's leaving her breakfast on the table as she slips mismatching shoes on her feet. Running out of her flat with nothing but her keys and her phone in her hands.

"Something's wrong, Le. I'm sick and I-I..I'm sorry. I didn't know who else to call," your voice breaks at the end. It's like a knife plunging into Leah's heart as she hears it; the absolute brokenness of your words. She knows there's a deeper meaning behind your them, but she won't push it. Leah knows any of the girls would come to help you in a heartbeat, so what's got you believing otherwise? Or maybe the better question is, who has you believing otherwise? She'll investigate that later.

"Hey, hey, calm down. You're alright, love. Take a deep breath for me, okay? I'll be there before you know it, and we'll get you to the doctor," Leah's voice would normally calm you down, but your brain is still running a million miles per minute…and it's only making you feel worse. It's like you can't focus on a singular thought, and the confusion only fuels your distress. Leah presses down on the gas pedal when she doesn't get a response from you. She can only hear your cries filling up the empty space of her car. She gets to your building in record time, and only then does she realize she didn't bring her wallet.

"God dammit," she chastises herself under her breath, trying to not let you hear her frustration as she searches for a on-street parking spot. She just had to forget you live in a fancy ass building with paid parking, today of all days. "I'm parking now, love. I'll be up in a few minutes." Thankfully she gets one across the street, rummaging through her center console for some change coins. She puts way more than needed in the parking meter, but that's not her main priority right now. "I need you tell me if the door's unlocked, okay? I know you don't feel well, but can you unlock it if it is?"

You close your eyes as you take a deep breath, gathering all your mental strength to answer her. "N-No. There's a key under t-the welcome mat though…I don't think I can walk by myself. I-I'm so sorry, Leah," you can't stop the embarrassment from filling your body. You hate having to ask people for help— especially when you need it the most. It makes you feel weak, helpless, and like a burden. It's a deep seated insecurity you can't seem to shake, but it's not like you've really ever tried to correct it. We all know Leah's stubborn, but you? You can be even worse than her. It's not like you mean to be, but you're just…broken. In more ways than even you would like to admit.

Leah sees right through it though— she always has. She is the one person in your life that sees you for who you are. Not the persona you put up for the rest of the world. You two may of only spent a short time together that year ago, but oh what an impact it made. Spending every waking second with a person for weeks on end does something to a person. You either ending up hating each other, falling in love, or whatever the fuck you two got going on.

"You don't need to be sorry, y/n. You definitely need a better hiding spot for your spare though, that's just bloody awful! You're asking for a break in!" Leah feels herself get a little frustrated as she retrieves your key. Her voice picking up into a scolding tone as she jiggles with your doorknob. You whimper out as you move the phone from your ear, the slight rise in her voice making your head hurt more. "Too loud," you say as she walks into your home. She makes sure to shut the door lightly, before smacking herself in the forehead for raising her voice with you. "I'm sorry, love. I just worry about you. Now which room are you in?"

"My bathroom," your voice sounds so small now. Like a child getting in trouble.

"I'm on my way to you now, okay?" Leah says as she climbs the stairs. Her eyes flit over your walls and she notices the lack of pictures. You have bare hallways and they look so, so lonely. She walks into your bedroom and she sees the void of no decor or really any of your things at all. It makes her sad, but mostly it leaves her wanting to ask more questions. Questions she knows she can't ask right now, but will get the answers to someway.

Nothing could have prepared Leah for what she sees behind the wooden door of your bathroom. You're clad in a mist of sweat, all the color drained from your face, and you're shaking like a leaf. It isn't until she's running up to you and falling to her knees that she sees the extent of your state. Your pants are still sitting halfway down your thighs, and Leah quickly moves to redress you. She makes sure not to look at you inappropriately, only doing what's needed to get you comfortable and less exposed. She knows how vulnerable you are right now, and she's doing everything she can to make sure you're okay. She sheds her Arsenal hoodie off, sliding it over your head as she encourages you to push your arms through.

“Hey love, let’s get you stood up– that’s it.” She helps you get to your feet, letting you lean all your body weight onto her. Leah guides you back towards your bed, sitting you on the edge as she goes to grab a pair of your shoes. It doesn't take her long before she's rejoining you and sliding some slip-ons over your feet. she pats your legs when she's down, looking up to see your disheveled appearance. "You ready to go?"

"Mhm," you nod your head along. Talking is only making your headache worse, so you've opted for noises instead.

With that, Leah is helping you back up. But before you can rest your weight back onto her side, she's picking you up bridal style. Your arms instinctively go to wrap around her neck, burying your face in the warmth of her embrace. You don't have the energy to argue with her, and honestly it's a relief to not have to walk right now. She carries you like you weigh nothing, shutting and locking your door like she isn't holding an entire human being. If you didn't feel like death you'd be obsessing over how hot she is, but right now you're just thankful.

You must've fallen asleep, because the next thing you know you're waking up in a A&E bed. You blink a few times to adjust to the lights above you, small groans slipping out as you try to stretch the cramped feeling out of your limbs. Then you hear her softly speaking on the phone across the room, and you go back to lying still. You close your eyes as you focus on trying to hear her conversation. "I know I should've called first, but you didn't see her. She couldn't even stand on her own, and she fell asleep in my arms before we even made it to her building elevator! She's in bad shape, and I'm not just gonna leave her here all alone in a country she doesn't fucking know. I'm the Captain and it's my responsibility to look after everyone— I don't fucking care that she's not a player! She's on our team, our crew, and she deserves our support. Call me back when you get your head out of your ass," and with that she hangs up.

You try and force yourself to just back to sleep and forget everything you've heard, but of course that's not how things work out. Your stomach starts turning again, complicating feelings swirling around with the uneasiness. The tears come falling down your cheeks before your eyes even open, your chest starting to tighten up as the sobs claw at your lungs to get out. It feels like you can't breathe, and honestly maybe you aren't. Not as you see flashbacks of Barca passing through your memory, a wave of dread blanketing over your body.

"What hurts, love? Do I need to get the nurse?" Leah's by your side the second she notices, a hand out grasping your forearm. Her fingers dance little patterns into your skin, and it actually starts to ground you. "Come on, take deep breaths with me again, okay?"

You nod your head, and then she's holding both your hands. You follow her lead as she sucks in a slow breath and holds it, before exhaling just as slow. She repeats the process with you until you're calmed all the way down. It doesn't take too long, but honestly Leah isn't going to leave you anytime soon anyway. "Nothing hurts," you say it so softly she barely hears it. Your eyes stay locked down onto the bed sheets below you, never making any eye contact with her.

"Then why were you crying, y/n?"

"Because I heard you on the phone…and I don't know. I guess I freaked out, and went spiraling into a self hate hole for a second. I'm okay, really."

"oh bloody hell! I'm so sorry you heard that, darling. I should've went into the hall or something—"

"It's okay, Le. I'm just sensitive, and really really delulu from whatever sickness I currently have…plus it was nice to hear you stick up for me, Captain."

"The mystery sickness is indeed just a bad case of the flu…but uhm, the doctor said it was made worse from you being dehydrated and probably not eating enough from the looks of your blood work. I'm not gonna judge you or yell at you. But I am taking you home with me when they discharge you. I'm your official caregiver until you're well enough to take after yourself again," Leah doesn't let go of your hand as she says it. She tries to connect your gazes, but you don't allow it. Actively avoiding her eyes as you feel them burrowing holes into your skull.

You wish you could argue with her and tell her she's wrong…but you can't. You've been skipping out on meals ever since you moved here. It's not been on purpose, you just haven't been able to eat. It's like your body hates the idea of eating, always growing nauseous after every few bites. So you've been drinking some meal replacements…not enough apparently. "Okay."

"…Okay? Really? That was a whole lot easier than I thought it would be," Leah is staring at you with her biggest look of, 'be so for real, bitch' written across her face. But you just shrug as you sink back into the uncomfortable mattress underneath you. You're so mentally and physically wore out right now, there's just no fight left inside you. Right as you're about to re-close your eyes, the doctor finally comes back in. After getting the run down from him, he lets you know that you can be discharged and to pick up your antibiotics before going home. Leah helps you redress again, and this time it has you giggling at the way she makes her eyes go anywhere but at your naked body.

"Hold on…how'd you get the doctor to tell you what was wrong with me before I even woke up? Aren't there some rules against that?"

"…I might have told everyone that you're my fiancé," Leah smiles at you nervously.

"Fuck you, Williamson! Take yourself on that date Thursday!"

"Oh, so you're finally agreeing that it's a date?" Leah smirks at you, only hearing the parts of what she wants to hear.

"Well, I guess we'll never know, now will we?"

She rolls her eyes at you for that, holding her hand out for you to take. And you do, still leaning against her some to walk. She helps you to the car, and once you're both secure she's driving you to your new home for the next few days…or weeks. God you hope only days. It feels weird to be back inside a house with another person, and it's extra fucking weird that it's Leah. You know this stay is when you have to put down some boundaries with her. To stop whatever there is between the two of you. It makes the previous pit in your stomach increase by double, because deep down you know you care about her...you're just lying to yourself about it. You can push every feeling down your throat, but they will all come spilling out at some point. That's what you've learned to be true over the years, but will you accept that as truth? Hell no! At least not anytime soon. Your worst problem is that you always get in your own way.

When she finally gets you inside, Leah starts cooking and letting her mind wonder to think of you. More importantly to the phone call you overheard in the A&E. She'd been talking with her manager, and completely snapped on him. He'd said something about how Leah 'follows you around like a lost puppy' and well…. it hurt her fucking feelings. Of course she isn't doing all of this just because she's one sided sickly in love with you…right? Sure she thinks of you literally every second of the day, and she's been day dreaming of you for the past year, but that's all totally normal...RIGHT?

Leah doesn't get to spiral into her romanic crisis for too long, because before she knows it the timers going off. She drains the gnocchi before putting it in a bowel for you, making her way back to the living room where she left you. She laughs at the sight that greets her— you snuggled up asleep in her Arsenal hoodie she'd given you when she first saw you. Leah just sets the gnocchi aside on the coffee table, opting to cuddle you instead of waking you up. She pulls you onto her body, your face resting on her chest as she tries to adjusts you without waking you up.

She finds herself running her fingers through your hair, and before long they're running softy across the features of your face. Leah lets a deep sigh come out of her chest. She truly feels like a fucking fool. Leah doesn't chase girls— they chase her. So for the first time in this game, she is the one crying. She's clinging onto any crumb of attention you'll give her, and she'll keep doing it for as long as it takes. Leah has you sleeping against her chest once again, and it's nothing like she's day dreamed of. You two aren't confessing your feelings, running around town making memories, or god forbid actually dating…but she'll keep feeling like a fool and waiting on you. She'll keep searching for your love until she finds it, because she knows she's felt flashes of it. She knows that carefree, wild, truly happy girl from Ibiza is still inside of you somewhere. Leah doesn't know what took that extra bright sparkle out of your eyes, but she is determined to see it light up your face back up.

[ssahotchnerr]

I feel like aaron would be the type to build furniture piece you bought without asking him to like you bought a book shelf or something and you bring the box in and leave it and next thing you know he built it lol

thoughtfulness

omg stop it right now that's such an aaron thing i could cry 😭<333333 cw; FLUFF

"aaron, baby?"

''in here."

you followed the sound of aaron's voice down the hall, finding him seated on the carpet. multiple tools were scattered around, a large cardboard box thrown off to the side, and your new bookshelf, fully built, was resting against the previously empty space at the wall. piles of your books and other miscellaneous trinkets were currently surrounding aaron, and he had already begun filling up the shelves sporadically.

you blinked at him in astonishment, not expecting to return home to this in the slightest. "what's this?"

"your bookshelf." aaron put it simply, adding another novel. his gaze shifted up to yours, an eyebrow lifted in endearing concern. "this is where you said you wanted it, right? i've started putting books in already, alphabetically, but obviously you can change it to however you prefer."

utterly speechless at his gesture, you could only approach and pull him up by his shirt collar. once in more accessible reach, you didn't hesitate for a second to place your lips onto his, aaron immediately melting into your touch.

he hummed softly against your lips after a moment, a small smile forming on his face. "welcome home."

you shook your head amusingly, your hand raising to his torso and gently running your hand along his chest. "i could've built this. it wasn't lying around for you to do."

aaron waved your statement off, his hands finding your waist. "i wanted to. and i wanted to surprise you." a thoughtful sigh escaped him, voice lowering solemnly. "i know you've been busy with work lately, a bit stressed, and i know you've been looking forward to getting this set up and just haven't found the time. so the sooner the better, if you ask me."

you sobered for a moment, extremely touched by his constant kindness and tenderness, always making the effort to make you feel seen and important.

in spite of that though, a tiny laugh blew from your nose, teasingly raising an eyebrow, "says the man who has the busiest schedule imaginable."

"maybe." a breathless laugh and an playful eye roll left him, leaning in to give you yet another kiss. "but never too busy for you darling."

"they broke the mold with you, aaron hotchner. thank you." you sighed happily, still in awe, your hand cupping his cheek. but you quickly switched tactics, grabbing onto his hand and dragging him back onto the carpet excitedly. "now c'mon! alphabetical is a good strategy to sort by, but-"

as you ventured off, talking about your bookshelf plans - seasonal candles to be placed on top according to the season, squealing in delight when you found a favorite read, giving him brief summaries on what a book's plot consisted of, or novels the two of you should read together - aaron could only look at you affectionately, admiring you as he listened, a small smile on his face.

you were simply radiating, and he couldn't get enough.

part 2 -> finishing touches —smut minors dni

[thoughtidtry]

Dress Pt.2 - LN

SUMMARY: Lando's best friend can't keep pretending he's not her everything. Not after missing seeing him in person for so long. PAIRING: Lando Norris X LongDistanceBestfriendfem!reader A/N: Inspired by Lando's race win and song Dress by Taylor Swift. 2.6k+ words (Honestly thought it would be shorter lol) LMK in the comments if you would like a pt.3! Part: 1 2 3

"Inescapable, I'm not even gonna try."

From the moment you were in Lando's arms, he never let go more than he had to. While showing you around the McLaren garage he made sure to guide you through with slight touches or nudges in the right direction. You knew there was no way he was letting you out of his sight. With his hand placed firmly on the small of your back, he explained every corner of the garage in painstaking detail while knowing you probably didn't really care. Something about the way you attentively listen though made it seem like you hung on his every word. 

Really, you had just missed his voice. Phone calls could only do so much to make up for the distance between you two. It had been something you both had gotten used to over time. Now you didn't know if you could ever go back to not being beside him. The hours before the race started passed faster than you had hoped they would. Something just clicked when you were together like you had never been apart in the first place. 

Soon you watched from the side as Lando talked with the engineers and strategists about the race plan. You had seen him in racing attire before, back in secondary school, but the memory did not prepare you for just how good he looked. He couldn't stop smiling, not when he felt your gaze on his every move. After he had finished talking to everyone, he made his way back over to you with a headset in hand. 

"Here let me put this on you, it connects to the radio in my car so you can hear me during the race."

You nodded along in understanding as he placed the headset on your head and fixed it to the correct settings. Earlier, Lando had told you they recently made upgrades to the car and that it would be the first race to test them. This made you hopeful for the results of the race, you knew how much Lando wanted a win. The excitement of everyone in the garage could be felt as they made final preparations.

"You're gonna do great Lan, I just know it."

You beamed up at him with the widest smile possible. Lando couldn't help but smirk a bit letting your confidence boost his own. He reached to stroke your cheek as he spoke.

" Of course I will, I've got you here to cheer me on. I always do better when I know you're watching the race. Just imagine how I'll do today with you actually here."

You look away feeling yourself start to blush while trying to figure out how to respond to that. Luckily, Lando's name was called as the race was about to start. Quickly, you stand and swiftly peck his cheek whispering good luck in his ear before pushing him towards the calling engineers. He looked back, shaking his head a bit before jogging to put his helmet and other stuff on.

"My hands are shaking from holding back from you"

Watching a race in person was exhilarating for you. The energy in the garage made every turn, overtake, and pit stop more suspenseful. Getting to hear Lando’s voice through it all made the race even more real. He hadn’t had a good start to the race but was quickly making up for it by getting the fastest lap multiple times. 

A crash happened towards the back of the race resulting in a safety car being put onto the track. Lando had already passed the pit when the car was released, giving him an edge. Once the race started again his engineer was avid about keeping a gap between him and Max. As the final laps dwindled, you felt overcome with hope. This could be it, Lando’s first win. 

As Lando crossed the finish line you heard his cheers over the radio. The joy and relief was evident as you knew how long he had waited for this. 

One of the mechanics was kind enough to escort you over to where the winners would park their cars. The whole McLaren garage ended up walking together to the spots. Once you all arrived, you slipped a bit away. As much as this was Lando’s win it was theirs and they didn’t need some random girl in the middle of their celebration. 

You watch from your spot as Lando pulls up and stands on the top of his cars. The crowd was cheering his name and many drivers made a beeline for him after parking their own cars. It was clear how loved he was not only by his own team but by everyone here. His large smile would forever be etched into your mind as he received hugs from everyone and even started a crowd surf with the McLaren employees. Your hand were shaking with all the excitement built up in your system. 

Everything was perfect, at least you thought so, but you noticed Lando kept looking around. Was there a specific driver he was looking for or some important person? 

Lando was on cloud nine getting out of his car parked in P1. He was a race winner after so long fighting for this moment it felt right to have you here. He wanted to find you and celebrate as soon as possible. 

As all the drivers came up to him he wanted to soak in the moment but he just kept looking around for you. Were you still at the garage? Turning to see the McLaren team waiting behind the barrier he knew what they were waiting for. 

Starting at a full sprint he launched himself into their awaiting arms. It was then on top of his teammate he caught a glimpse of you off to the side with a smile as bright as the sun.  As soon as he was back on his feet he was making his way to you. 

When Lando’s eyes found you it was like time stopped for a few moments. Before you knew it he was headed straight for you. He crashed into you, wrapping you up in a bone-crushing hug while lifting you off your feet. You squeal a bit as he begins to spin you both around before tilting your head back to laugh. 

“You did it Lan! You won!”

Lando set you back on the ground as you started to speak. He could see the spark of joy in your eyes as you spoke. 

“Told you I’d do better with you here”

Lando exclaimed, smirking as he looked down at you in admiration. 

“Knowing you were cheering for me made all the difference. I couldn’t disappoint you after you came all this way.”

You rolled your eyes at his comment, he could never disappoint you. It didn’t matter to you whether he came in first or very last place as long as he was happy. Before you could tell him that a staff member came up to grab Lando for his post win interviews. He nodded to let them know he was on his way and let you know he’d be only about half an hour. Calling another McLaren mechanic over, he asked if they would see you back to his driver room after the podium till he was finished with the media. 

With that he was off and you followed the mechanic over to where the podium celebration was to be held. The ceremony was amazing as the two other drivers covered Lando head to toe in champagne. He didn’t even have a chance to open his before the other two started their assault which made you laugh. Once they had moved on to their next victim, Lando walked to the front of the podium doing his signature move to start spraying the champagne all over the crowd before spraying the other driver as well. 

"I don't want you like a best friend"

The interviews didn’t take long so Lando was back and ready to leave the paddock not long after arriving. Oscar had been sneaky when helping you book a hotel for your stay and you were apparently staying at the same place as the drivers were. 

Lando noted to thank Oscar again as he ushered you to his car stopping along the way to sign autographs and take pictures. He filled you on the plans for tonight as you drove and what time to be ready by. 

Once at the hotel, you went to your separate hotel rooms to get ready. You pulled a dress out of your suitcase packed specifically for this see Lando again. It was a beautiful purple dress that hugged the top of your torso while still being flowy. After taking a shower and getting ready you texted Lando to let him know. Turns out most of the drivers were already dressed and down in the lobby. Quickly you grabbed your clutch and made your way down.

Lando was smiling as he put his phone away after answering your text. He and a couple other drivers had finished getting dressed early so they were in the lobby while waiting for the rest. He felt a nudge on his shoulder and found all the other drive smirking at him with knowing eyes. Max was the one to speak up always most blunt when it came to feelings.

"So are you gonna tell her how you feel or are you just gonna let her go again?"

He didn't know much about your friendship with Lando but he knew the younger boy was smitten. The other drivers piled on words of encouragement and how they could tell you liked him back. The more the others added, the pinker Lando's cheeks got until he finally defended himself.

" I just don't want to lose her guys. Now shut up she is on her way down."

The other drivers chuckled while shaking their heads but they left Lando alone after that which he was thankful for. Looking around he noticed you starting to make your way over and stopped in his tracks. He hadn't forgotten how beautiful you were but in that dress, it was like you were enchanted. He knew Max was right, he wanted more from you than just a friendship, he always had. Ever since that day in secondary when he had introduced himself he had wanted more, to know you more, hear your laugh more, be near you more.

The sound of laughing gave away their location long before you saw the group. From the looks of it, they had been teasing Lando about something as his face was lightly pink. He was looking towards the ground wearing all black and a backward cap. It made you smile a bit at how flustered he seemed by whatever they had said. Only a few seconds had passed when he caught your presence.

You grew a little nervous under his gaze and began to play with the hem of your dress as you came to a stop in front of him. Looking up into his eyes, a mostly green color now, you softly whispered

"Hey, Lan."

You clear your throat while tearing your eyes away from his to speak to the whole group.

"Hey guys, everyone ready to celebrate?"

The other driver let out a cheer and Carlos showed up a moment later. Apparently, he was the last one the group was waiting on so everyone began to decide how we were getting to the club.

“Only bought this dress so you could take it off”

Once at the club the boy immediately went to grab drinks while you stayed back with the other drivers' girlfriends. Girlfriends. Something you could only wish to be. They were nice and asked many questions about how you were, what you do, and how long you have known Lando. You explained with ease the timeline that led you here. Lily was the first to speak, seeming to be a bit in shock.

"Wait, you're the mysterious best friend? The one Lando has kept hidden away like a treasured prize?"

The other girl nodded in agreement at her statement. Had Lando been too embarrassed to talk about you? You felt a bit ashamed for a moment looking down. Lily was the first to notice, adding on with a kind smile and a bit of laughter.

"Oh, no! It's not a bad thing! Trust me. He lights up anytime you even text him. It's more like he doesn't want to share you honestly. I was just surprised he finally let the princess out of her tower to be seen by the rest of us. That boy is head over heels-"

Before Lily could finish her sentence you felt an arm snake around your waist. You turned assuming it would be Lando but you had been mistaken. The man before you was taller with brown eyes and reddish-brown hair.

"Hey, wanna go dance with me beautiful?"

The man smiled as he looked you up and down. He wasn't a bad-looking guy, not as handsome as Lando though. Someone else probably would have agreed, but someone else wasn't in love with their best friend. You tried to step away as his hand on your waist just felt wrong but he was able to grab onto your arm before you were fully free.

"Oh come on, just one dance couldn't hurt. I doubt your friends would mind."

You tried to pull your arm free but his grip was firm. The panic started to set in as you looked to see where Lando was. He would help, he would always save you.

"Her friends might not mind but her boyfriend definitely will."

A familiar voice called from behind you as your head snapped toward it in relief. There he was, your Lando, he looked pissed, flanked by an annoyed-looking Max and an angry-looking Carlos. The man quickly released your arm and turned to storm off with a scoff. You stumbled back a bit before Lando caught you. With no hesitation, he wrapped his arms around your waist before leaning down to speak in your ear.

"Can't let you out of my sight for a minute without someone trying to steal you huh?"

Your face turned bright red as you turned to him feeling a wave of confidence. Was he jealous? The look on his face was downright murderous at least. Wrapping your own arms around his neck, you leaned up to speak in his ear.

"We both know you're the only person this dress would come off for."

Lando stood in shock for a moment as his grip tightened on your waist. It only took a moment for his lips to crash into yours. You could taste the alcohol he had been drinking and feel how tense his body was before he relaxed into the kiss. Sure, you had kissed other guys before but never had anyone kissed you with so much overwhelming passion. Breaking away from the kiss he sighed.

"How about we get out of here?"

You can only nod still thunderstruck by how passionately he had kissed you. Lando smirked at the effect he has on you while leading you over to the group of driver not far away.

"Hey guys, were gonna head out."

The drivers look in between the two of you with knowing glances and exchange goodbyes with Lando as you two start to leave. You look back and wave goodbye to everyone as Lily gives you a thumbs-up. Blush rushes to your face as you both get into the taxi with Lando giving the hotel's address. You can't help but stare at him in the moonlight. He glances down at you with a smile.

" You know I'm never letting you go, right?"

You smile up at him with love-struck eyes. At this moment you decide, you would do want ever needed to stay by his side from then on. The company you worked for has offices abroad, and you could travel if needed, you would do anything to stay like this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pt.3?

Taglist: @scarletwidow3000

[fandoms-writings]

Let Go

Pairing: DBF!Bucky x college!reader (Part 3)

Word Count: 6.9K

Summary: Enough is enough. It's time to put your foot down with Bucky. You're tired of being hidden, but that means a whole new dynamic to your relationship - and a hard conversation.

Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY , making out, fingering, p in v sex, subby!bucky makes an appearance, Mentions of past sex acts, angst (this one is SAD for a little guys sorry), reader standing up for herself, confessions, bucky being a big ole dummy, cuss words ( I think that's it lol)

Part 1, 2 || Bucky Masterlist || Masterpost

Sorry! Can we raincheck?

Miles is down with a fever, can we reschedule?

I've got a surprise exam in the morning, I'll have to pass tonight.

The messages from your friends glared at you from your phone screen as you read them over and over. You hadn't actually opened them, they just sat in your inbox, one right after the other. 

Great. You sighed, glancing around the street corner where you were supposed to meet your friends for a night out. Your best cocktail dress clung to your hips as you shifted from heeled foot to heeled foot. You'd wanted to spend the night with your friends, finally taking a break from all the assignments and exams and responsibilities you had. 

But now, you stood alone outside the club, your uber already gone, and some guys eyeing you as they went in, giving you the wrong kind of chills. 

You huffed a breath and raised your phone back up, pulling up a number you haven't had the time to call - you were busy getting a degree - but that didn't stop him from trying to reach you. Bucky's name stared at you as your thumb hovered over the dial button. 

You took a breath to steady yourself as you pressed it and raised the phone to your ear. You hadn't seen Bucky in weeks, not that you didn't want to. You'd just been busy with classes and projects. 

And trying to get a hold over the feelings you had for him - the type of feelings you absolutely could not have for your fathers friend. 

He answered on the third ring, his voice and loud music coming through the speaker, "Hey!" 

"Hey, Buck," You couldn't help the way his voice made your heart start racing, even if he was just over the phone. "Are you busy?" 

"Not at all," His side got quieter as you heard a door slam shut, "What's going on?" 

"I was supposed to go out with some friends tonight, but they've all bailed. I was going to ask if you wanted to come out. I'm already downtown." You told him the name of the club you were standing in front of and he confirmed he knew of it. 

"I can be there in twenty minutes," He said and you could hear the smile in his voice, "Or ten if I run." 

"I'll wait inside for you," You smiled. At least you wouldn't be alone for the night and getting this dolled up wasn't a total waste of your time. 

You hung up before heading inside, letting the loud music rattle your bones as you made your way to the bar to order a drink and wait. 

~~~

The next fifteen minutes flew by faster than you thought they would've, nursing your drink and watching people dance against each other helped. But when those familiar hands landed on the bar next to you, you decided it was worth the wait. 

Bucky looked like he ran, his eyes clear and wild, his chest rising and falling at an uneven pace - though it was clear he was trying to steady it. 

"Where'd you come from?" You asked, a small smirk on your lips. 

"I was at the bar a few blocks down when you called. Started running as soon as you hung up," He said, sliding closer to your side, leaning to purr into your ear, "I've missed you." 

"Hm, have you now?" You fluttered your lashes up at him, and his smile grew.

"I have," His eyes flicked between yours then down to your lips and back up, "You've been so busy, I barely get to see you. It's a miracle I get texts back when I do."

You laughed at that, "Well sorry I'm trying to actually pass my classes with more than just C's"

He chuckled before smirking, "Did you miss me at all?" 

You let out a dramatic sigh, "A bit." 

"Ouch, only a bit, huh? Did I not make a lasting enough impression on you last time we got together?" The moment flashed in your mind - the dingy dive bar, the locked bathroom door, the cool mirror at your back, the counter under you ass, the arms holding your legs open, the way his lips felt on your neck, his hips snapping into yours - 

You pushed the memory from your mind as you felt your core go molten and your skin heat. Bucky knew as his smirk grew that he did indeed make a lasting impression, but chose not to say anything as you slid off the barstool, standing in front of him. 

"I want to dance," You downed the rest of your drink before lifting your chin at him. He chuckled before shifting out of your way, letting you lead the way to the dance floor. 

You didn't even get to take one step before a familiar voice called both of your names. Your heart dropped out of your ass and your skin turned ice as you turned to see one of Bucky's friends - one who also knew your father. 

"Sam!" Bucky smiled, clapping the other man on the shoulder, "What are you doing here?" 

"The wife wanted to have a night out dancing, and this was the spot her friends recommended, so here I am," he smiled, turning to you, "Hey you, I haven't seen you since that barbecue at your dads over the summer. How are you?" 

You pushed a smile to your lips, hoping it came across as natural as you stepped forward to give Sam a quick side hug. "Good, just needed the same thing your wife wanted - a night out." 

"I see," He glanced between you and Bucky, "So, did you two come together or. . ?" 

Your knees felt weak and you were glad you hadn't made it far from your barstool as you leaned on it for support. If Sam found out, there was no way he wouldn't tell you dad, and you dad sure as hell could never know about you and Bucky. But before you could respond, or even try to come up with something that didn't sound suspicious as fuck, Bucky's voice filled the silence. 

"No, I was walking back from the bar on 9th when I saw her standing outside," He smoothly said, putting a friendly hand on your shoulder, "She said her friends canceled so I offered to buy her a drink before she went all the way back home." 

It wasn't a total lie, but something about the way he said it made your chest tighten. The easy lie and simple dismissal of you two being there together, how it was just a coincidence. 

"Oh well I'm sorry," Sam looked at you with too much pity and you fought to keep your smile as you waved him off. 

"It's fine, don't worry," You took a breath, "I should probably go home though." 

"What? You just got here," Bucky argued and you shrugged. 

"My friends aren't coming, I'm not going to dance by myself." 

"Come hang out with us!" Sam exclaimed, adding a teasing, "Unless you think we're too old for you." Oh how wrong he was with that. 

"I don't want to be a bother," You said, "Really, I'll be okay." 

"No no no, c'mon," Sam got his wife's attention, pointed to you and you saw her face light up. "I think she wants to dance with you." 

"Okay, okay, I'll dance for a little bit," You laughed, following Sam to meet his wife on the floor, Bucky at your back. 

You tried to glance over your shoulder to get his attention, to convey how nervous you were - how nervous he should be, but he wasn't even looking at you anymore. His eyes were flitting around the dance floor. 

It was so easy for him to pretend nothing was happening between you two, to pretend like whatever you two had didn't exist. You fought off the uneasiness in that realization as you finally met Sam's wife on the floor and joined her in the music. Your body wasn't as fluid as it usually was when you danced, you felt stiff, but you couldn't help it. Especially not when another glance at Bucky dancing against another girl twisted your gut in ways you didn't know it could. 

Tonight was going to be a long one. 

~~~

Your feet ached in your heels as you quickly made for the exit. You needed air, you needed space, you needed to go home. 

You'd been able to stomach watching Bucky dance without you for the first couple hours - barely - but you couldn't take being ignored anymore. You didn't want him to fuck you in the middle of the dance floor for everyone to see, Sam included, but you would've liked if he'd offered to dance with you like Sam and his wife did. To join the group even or, fuck, just look at you once in awhile. Maybe smile. Or wink.

Instead, he gave you a wide berth, didn't look at you once, and didn't seem interested when you excused yourself to the restroom twenty minutes ago. You hid in the stall, gathering yourself before exiting, glancing out at the group to see not one of them bothered by the long time you took, and decided it was time to go home.

Pushing open the main door, you blinked in surprise at the rain that was now pouring down, and you sighed, shutting the door and stepping as far away as you could without stepping out from under the awning. You called an uber to take you home and watched impatiently as the car icon turned down various streets to get to you. The driver wasn't far, and would only take a few minutes to arrive, and you were hoping it was enough time before someone came out looking for you. 

But when the door next to you opened, and that familiar head of cropped brown hair peered around the edge, your heart sank. Your name fell from his lips in a confused tone as he took in the way your arms were wrapped around yourself and how you were basically hiding behind the door to stay out of the way. 

"What are you doing out here?" He shut the door and stepped next to you, his elbow brushing yours. You grit your teeth at the frustration that was brewing in you, the urge to shout and yell. You weren't normally someone who lost their temper, but you were so tired. Tired of not being enough, of being alone. 

"Waiting for my ride." You refused to look at him as he stared at the side of your face and you watched the road. 

"You. . ." He hesitated, tilting his head and leaning a bit, trying to get you to look at him, "You're leaving already?" 

"Yup." At the dismissive tone in your response, he straightened himself again, but still kept staring at your goddamn face. A sigh pushed past your nostrils as you glanced at the gps again, seeing the car was only two blocks down now. Thank god. 

"Do you want me to come with you?" He asked, following you as you stepped out from the awning and into the downpour, your dress and hair almost immediately becoming soaked through. "Or you can come over to mine, if you'd like?" 

"No, thanks." You declined, your voice beginning to strain, "I'm not in the mood to fuck you tonight." 

He flinched as if you'd hit him, but recovered as he sidled up to you again, "W-well, I've got a bottle of wine, your favorite brand, in the fridge unopened. We could have a drink and watch a movie? Or cuddle, or just talk? Whatever you'd like." 

You turned to him, surprisingly calm considering the way your chest seized and your eyes stung. His face fell as he took in the state of you, the misery lining your lashes and the anger pulling your lips thin. "Don't pretend like you actually care, James. Like whatever this is," you weakly gestured to the space between the two of you, "has ever been anything more than you wanting to fuck me," You turned back to the road, your voice dropping below a whisper, "and me letting you." 

His jaw went slack as he stumbled for words. 

A small car pulled up beside you, throwing its hazards on as the window rolled down. You leaned in, asking the driver for his name. The older man who was probably in his late sixties or early seventies introduced himself as Dominic, and after checking to make sure it matched your app, you pulled open the backseat door. 

Bucky's hand shot out to where yours rested on the car door, gently, "Wait. That's it? You're not going to talk to me about this?" 

You fought the tears in your eyes as you sniffed, turning your full attention to him. "There's nothing to talk about, James. I'm just stating how it is. I didn't ask you to come out with me just to ignore me all night, only for you to remember I exist when you want a good lay." The uber driver kept his gaze on the road, patiently waiting for you to get in, and pretended he wasn't hearing your entire conversation. You'd apologize to him once you were on your way. 

"You know why I - "

"Because of Sam," You calmly cut him off, "I know. But that doesn't mean you get to pretend that I don't exist. You wouldn't even look at me." You pulled your hand out from under his, climbing into the car. He held the door open, refusing to close it. "Close the door, James." 

"Can we please talk about this?" He begged, something you never heard him do - usually it was you begging him. You looked up at him, and you couldn't tell if your face was wet from the rain or the tears that could've fallen. It was probably both. 

"What's there to talk about?" You asked, your voice raw, "There are boundaries we can't cross, James. And I'm tired of being alone." You took a breath to try and steady the shakiness out of your voice, "And I'm tired of waiting for you to notice me." 

You leaned forward and grabbed the door handle, ignoring the way Bucky's face crumpled in disbelief. You tried to pull the door, but he held it firmly open. 

"Please let go," You asked. 

He shook his head, your name slipping from his lips like a prayer, "Please."

"Let go." 

He let out a shuddered breath as he looked at his feet for a moment. You were going to say it again, when he nodded and looked up at you, sniffling. 

"Okay," He muttered, "okay." His hand fell from the door, and you watched him through the window as you pulled it shut. 

"Please go," You gently asked your driver, who gave you a pitiful look in the mirror before he nodded, putting the car in drive. You didn't look out the window again, but you knew Bucky was still there, standing in the rain, watching you pull away. 

~~~

"Thanks, Dom," You gave the driver a small smile as you opened the car door. He hadn't asked about what he'd heard while waiting for you to get in the car, or about your tears. He asked if you were alright, if you needed him to stop anywhere and get you anything. You'd smiled, declining the offer, but it had warmed your heart. 

"Of course," He turned to give you a sad smile. "If you need anything, I'll be driving all night, so I'll be around the area." 

You smiled at him, "Thank you, but I'll be fine." 

He nodded, before saying, "Hey." 

You looked at him again, waiting for him to continue.

"I'm not trying to butt in on a situation I don't know," He started, "and you can ignore anything I say once you get out of this car. Just," He took a breath as if to steady himself, "Sometimes, it's worth listening to the other side. So you know the whole truth. So you don't sit there and wonder years later, if shutting them out was a mistake." 

"I appreciate the advice, but," you sighed, "there's a lot of story there that I can't get into." 

"And whatever you do, is your choice. Just. . ." He took a deep breath before his eyes locked with yours, and you could see the regret and the sadness swimming in his irises. "I was that person, once. And not a day goes by where I don't wonder what life would've been like had I just listened." 

You smiled, reaching forward to pat his shoulder, "Don't let the past drag down your present," you offered him a sad smile, and he reached up to pat your fingers with his old ones, "Have a good night, Dom." 

"You as well." 

You climbed out of his car, walking to where the doorman of your building greeted you and held the door open for you. He eyed your soaked clothes and hair with concern and you waved him off. 

"Got caught in the downpour. It's headed this way, but I'm alright." You plastered on a fake smile, as you passed him. 

The elevator ride was suffocatingly silent, the only noise being the dings of the floors you passed and you spent the time removing your heels, your sore feet thankful to be flat again. The ding of your floor filled the air and the doors whirred as they slid open. You were greeted by that maroon carpet, and cream walls of the hall, the little gold detailings of the light fixtures and door handles plentiful as you passed them by, aiming for your door. 

Your keys slid in and unlocked effortlessly, and you stepped into the darkness, shutting the door behind you and locking it before you slid down to the floor. Feet pushed out in front of you, your back to the door, you sat there in the quiet stillness of your apartment. 

In the dark, Dominic's words kept ringing in your head. Sometimes, it's worth listening to the other side. So you know the whole truth.

You sighed as your head fell back and thumped against the door. Deep down, you knew the old man was right. You don't have to let Bucky back in, but you should hear him out. But you knew by the way your heart constricted at just the thought of it, that you weren't ready, not yet. You needed to cool down and think and relax before that conversation.

So you stood on shaky legs and flicked on a couple lights before making your way to the bathroom. A hot bath to wash away the night and chase away the cold that was starting to bite at your bones was the best way to start. 

~~~

Nick, your doorman's voice echoed in your head as you stood at the buzzer of your door. 

There's a James Barnes here to see you. 

It'd been a couple weeks since you left him at that club downtown. Weeks of no contact, not even a text. You knew you needed to talk to him, but you didn't know if you were ready. You didn't even know what more could be said. What story he could try to spin you. 

But you remembered Dom's words from that night, and shook yourself from your stupor just in time to hear Nick calling your name through the buzzer. 

"Send him up." You hoarsely replied, "Thank you, Nick." 

"Sure thing," His voice came through the static before going quiet again. 

You took a deep breath as you looked around the apartment. It was a little messy - you hadn't really had time to clean these past few weeks with finals around the corner. Part of you wanted to rush to pick some of it up, but you knew deep down you didn't have time before Bucky knocked on your door, so you wrapped your arms around your torso and waited, trying to ignore all the awful ways your brain was coming up with for this conversation to end. 

The knock on that door couldn't come soon enough, and you had to steel yourself before pulling it open. 

Bucky honestly looked worse for wear, the bags under his eyes were prominent, his hair that was usually so well styled was unkept and in disarray. His normally well trimmed beard was longer than you'd ever seen it, though it wasn't by much. And in his hands, was a small bouquet of wildflowers. 

"Can I come in?" He asked, his voice gentle and somewhat hesitant. 

You stepped back from the door, silently holding it open for him to enter. He pressed his lips tightly together and quickly stepped in, watching as you shut and locked the door behind him. 

"I know that these won't fix anything, but I remember you talking about the flower shop two blocks over and how you really enjoyed the wildflower bouquets so I thought I'd stop on my way here to get you one - " He was rambling now, staring at the flowers in his hand as his free one came up to gently stroke some of the petals. 

You walked to the kitchen, with him blindly following you as he rambled on and on about the flowers and the specific bunch he grabbed reminded him of you and you had to push out the feelings that started to warm your chest down, down, down back into their steel box - the steel box you decided to lock them away in that night you left him at the club. 

After grabbing a small vase from the cupboard, you held your hand out for the bouquet. Your fingers entered his field of view that was still locked on those petals and his rambling tumbled to a halt before he nodded to himself. 

"Right, sorry," He gently handed them over to you and watched as you placed them in the vase and filled it with water. You'd worry about if you were really going to keep them later, and if you did, going through and properly arranging them. But right now, you had an important talk waiting to happen. And the sooner it was over, the better. 

"What do you want, Bucky?" You asked, pushing the vase away from the edge of the counter and looking up at him. 

"I was hoping we could talk." 

"I have nothing more to say to you." You crossed your arms over your chest and leaned your hip against the counter, eyeing him as he stepped up to the other side, resting his hands against the fake marble. 

"You don't have to say anything, but I have some stuff I'd like to say to you." His eyes were practically begging you to listen and Dom's words rang in your head again. Sometimes, it's worth listening to the other side. So you know the whole truth.

"Fine," You sighed, "out with it." You knew you were being a bit rude and cold. But after the past few weeks you've had, you didn't want him here longer than necessary. 

"Right, um," He took a deep breath. He seemed so uncharacteristically nervous. Whenever you were with him, he was always so sure of himself. So confident and cocky. To see him rambling and fiddling with the flowers earlier, and now struggling to find his words - it put a pause in your frustration. 

He straightened his back and took another breath, and you steeled yourself for what he was about to say. 

"I want to apologize." He started, "For everything. For starting this with you, pursuing you when I knew I shouldn't have. For making a mess of it." His throat bobbed as he continued, "When I met you two years ago, there was just something about you. Something that lured me in. You were - are so smart. You're so fucking smart, and beautiful and funny and witty and I just - " He sighed, "God, I fell so hard for you.

"But your father is one of my friends. And that's not right. What kind of man does that make me?" He asked, gesturing to himself. "What kind of man does that?" He all but fell into one of the barstools at the counter, "So, I kept you at arms length. Only saw you in secret, pretended you weren't there if there was even the slightest chance of getting caught - and for that I am so, so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. But," he sighed, taking a moment before continuing, "but I didn't know you felt any certain way about it. About me."

He looked up from the counter to you, across the kitchen with your arms still crossed, "I didn't know you weren't okay with it. With the hiding and the secrets. If I had known - "

"What?" You weakly asked. You didn't mean to cut him off, you meant it when you said you didn't have anything left to say to him, but your mouth opened of its own accord. "What would you have done?" 

He was silent and you shook your head, letting out a weak, sad laugh, "Exactly. You wouldn't have done anything, because you can't. Not with who we are." You swallowed down the lump that began to form in your throat, your next words coming out almost silently, "I don't just feel a certain way about it." 

"What does that mean?" He asked, his brows knitting together. 

"James," You sighed, "I've been in love with you for months now." His eyes widened as he watched you lean backwards against the other counter, "And what sucks, is that these past few weeks, all I've wanted to do was call my dad, or my mom, and get some advice on our situation," You felt the tears begin to build in the corners of your eyes. "But I can't ask them. And I can't talk to any of my friends about you because they know my parents." 

You ignored the way his face crumbled as your voice cracked and thinned as you fought the building tears, "I can't talk to anyone about you. I'm alone in this. And even if I were to have you, I'd be alone."

He was silent for a minute, watching the tears fall down your cheeks before he slowly stood and walked around the counter to your side. He hesitantly approached you, gently reached up with his hands and brushed away the tears from your chin. 

"What if you didn't have to be alone?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"What if," he breathed in, his eyes scanning every inch of your face as he caressed it with his thumbs, "what if you didn't have to be alone? What if we didn't hide?" 

A weak scoff pushed past your lips and you tried to glare at him, but you could tell it wasn't really there, "You're assuming there's still a 'we'." Though your words were meant to throw him off, the lack of bite in your tone kept him right in front of you, the tight concern in his face melting way to something you'd only glanced in his eyes a handful of times - something soft. 

"I would like there to be." He whispered and you felt that steel box inside yourself crack open. 

"What?" It felt like it fell between you, your question, but he caught it with his nervous grin

"I'm in love with you," he stated with such gentle conviction, that steel box starting to spring open further and further the more he spoke, "and I know I've made a mess of things, but I would do anything to make it right." His hands slid off your cheeks and ran down the lengths of your arms, softly gripping your fingers and pulling them away from your chest and to his own. "I want to be with you. I want to show the world that I'm yours. I want to openly be yours." 

That little steel box shoved deep down inside of yourself flung open. Everything you've bottled up the past few weeks came bubbling to the surface as you fought that wobble in your lips. You fought to keep it all in. To keep yourself composed. 

"I want to make this right," He continued, his own eyes watering at the state you were in, "You just need to tell me how." He sighed, "Or tell me to fuck off, and I will. You'll never hear from me again if that's what you want. And honestly, I wouldn't be offended if you did." 

The thought of never seeing him again didn't sit right with you. It made a horrible sense of dread fill your chest and you shook your head. 

"What about my father?" You asked, your voice straining against the words that were trying to get out. Against the confession that sat at the tip of your tongue. 

"We'll tell him. We'll find a way to tell him and it'll be okay," He gently pulled you, testing to see how you reacted and when you easily stepped towards him, he wrapped his arms around you, holding the back of your head with his hand, "We'll figure it out." 

The warmth from his chest seeped through his shirt into your cheek and you let it out then, the cries that you'd been holding in, the words you'd come to terms with days ago that you never thought would be voiced, the words you'd wanted to say to him in anger began clumsily tumbling from your lips. 

"You're an asshole, you know that?" Your lips scraped against the cotton of his shirt, "You can't expect me to tell you how I feel when you made it feel wrong to want more." You pulled back, weakly pushing against his chest before haphazardly wiping your eyes. 

You'd missed everything about him the past few weeks, no matter how much you tried not to. His warmth, his scent, the feel of his hands, the husk of his voice. God you missed it. And you wouldn't have had to miss him at all had the two of you just told each other. 

"The way you'd avoid me or act as if I wasn't there," You said, taking a step out of his arms, "How do I know that won't happen again?" 

His face fell as he looked at you, his hands dropping to his sides, "You don't, but I can promise you that it never did." He let out a sad chuckle at the confusion taking over the tears in your eyes. "I may have avoided getting too close to you, yes, but not once did I not notice you." 

He stepped forward, wrapping his hands around your waist to settle on your lower back, his fingers tracing invisible patterns into your shirt. 

"If we're in the same room, I always know exactly where you are," His eyes darted down to your lips for a split second, "When you leave the room, all I want to do is follow you, but I can't. So I strain to hear your voice and laugh over everything else. I practically hold my breath until you come back." He gave you a sad smile, "I know you probably don't believe me, but it's true. It's like my entire being orbits around you and when you aren't around, my soul doesn't know where to spin." 

You didn't know what to say as you watched him, noted the sincerity in his gaze - the tears beginning to line his own lashes. You weighed everything he'd told you, how he felt, how he was trying so hard to not lose you. All because you finally put your foot down, and then listened. 

You weren't sure if your brain could form the words you wanted to say - needed to say. Your heart was racing from his confession and the proximity of him. He was so close to you, you'd merely have to tip your chin up the slightest to catch his lips with your own. 

So you did.

His body instantly reacted - his grip tightening across your back and pulling you as close as he could, his lips moving in tandem with yours in the soft enticing way they always did, a sigh leaving his nose and tickling your cheek. 

The feeling of his lips on yours sent a warmth through your chest that you hadn't felt in weeks, and it quickly spread through the rest of you, tingles shooting out to your fingers as they reached for his chin and down to your toes as your feet backed you up into the counter. A small noise that sounded almost like a whimper escaped his throat, swallowed by your mouth on his, as your hands slid up from his chin into his hair, your fingers threading through the strands and gripping them. 

You knew there was more to talk about, more to figure out - there always would be - but right now you couldn't stop thinking about his lips on yours, his tongue gently asking for permission to play with yours as his hands slid from your back down to your ass, squeezing before sliding further to your thighs, his back bowing as he reached. His fingers pulled on your legs twice and in the spare second his lips were able to pull from yours, you felt him whisper to jump, so you did. 

He caught you, gently placing you on the counter as he stepped in between your legs, pulling your hips to the edge of the counter. His lips left yours and moved to your neck, softly nipping and sucking as he moved down to your chest, pulling your shirt, stretching the neck of it but at the moment you couldn't care less about it. He only pulled away to pull the clothing up over your head and out of the way, his mouth immediately going down to close around a nipple when he noticed the lack of bra in his path. 

A low groan rumbled through his throat and into your skin before he moved to the other one, giving it the same treatment as the first. Every little touch of his hands, the way they grazed over your skin or grabbed at your free breast, kneading it with his fingers, and the hot trail his tongue left across your skin turned your core molten. You needed him, you didn't want any of the teasing and edging he so loved to torture you with. 

So you tugged on his hair, his name falling from your lips in a whine and he looked up at you, his eyes glazed and his pupils blown. The look made you hesitate and you clenched around nothing - you'd only seen him that far gone in the feeling of your skin one other time. So, seeing it now, you knew you could ask him to do anything, and he'd do it. You could order him, and he'd obey. 

You pulled his face up to yours, making him stand up straight as you locked your lips with his again and slid your hands down to his belt. While you worked the buckle open, his hands wrapped under the shorts on your hips, pulling them down your legs and causing you to gasp at the cold counter meeting your skin. 

The buckle finally opened and your fingers immediately moved to the button and zipper of his jeans, his own moving to brush against the wetness there. Your lips swallowed the new whine that he let out as he gathered the slick, pushing two fingers all the way in.

Your lips broke from his at the feeling of his long fingers pumping in and out of you and your fingers stumbled over the denim, but finally you got the button open and the zipper down and you shoved at his pants, your lips moving to his ear. 

"C'mon, handsome," You whispered, letting your lips brush against the shell of his ear and grinning at the shiver that ran through his body, "Your fingers feel nice, but," Your hand reached past the waist, gripping and stroking him, his lips opening in a gasp and latching on to your neck again, "this is what I want." 

He groaned into your neck, thrusting into your hand, his fingers in your cunt stroking your walls, matching pace. 

"I need it, James," Your other hand pulled back to grip his hair, pulling on it to get him to look at you as you continued stroking him. When he pulled away from your neck, he already looked fucked out and you smiled, leaning forward to lick his lips. He tried to chase your lips with his own but when your hand didn't let go of his hair, he stopped. "I need you to fuck me, James," He groaned at that, "Can you do that for me?" 

He nodded, his voice thin as he responded, "Yes." 

"Good," You smiled at him, trying not to whine at the loss of his fingers as he pulled them out and pushed his boxers down just enough. His left hand settled on your waist as his other lined himself up with your entrance, gathering some slick before he pushed himself in, going all the way in one go. 

His head fell into your neck as he groaned, the sound of it combined with the sudden fullness pulling a moan from your lips.

"Oh, fuck," Your lips brushed his ear as you panted. "That's it - fuck -" Your hands come up to grip his shoulders and his back as he immediately set a growing pace. "That's a good boy." 

His lips again connected with your neck and you tipped your head to give him more access, his teeth dragging across your skin. His hips sped up, a loud moan breaking from you as he angled to hit that perfect spot, Your head falling back into the cabinets. 

"That's it that's it," You panted, "Oh, don't you dare stop." His teeth nipped just below your ear and you couldn't stop the grin that grew on your lips, "Mark me," You grunted, "I want everyone to know I'm yours." 

What you could only describe as a growl rumbled from his lips into your skin as he began working to leave a mark on that exact spot, the sensation flying through every one of your nerves, shooting down to where he was hitting that perfect spot over and over, and you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to falling over that edge, faster than he'd ever let you before. 

His lips brushed the skin of your neck as he grunted out, "Please cum on me," His voice was breathless and he sounded so, so close to begging, "please." 

You let out a breathy sound, that band in you so close to snapping as you lifted your legs to wrap around his hips. Your fingers wound through his hair again, gripping the strands as you ordered him, your lips never leaving his ear, "Make me." 

"I will," He said between leaving marks across your neck and shoulder, "I promise I will." 

His hips never faltered as his thumb on his right hand came to press quick circles into your clit, your legs snapping around him at the sensation and your head again hitting the cabinets. 

"Shit, that's it," Your fingers gripped any part of him you could reach, scratching your nails down his skin and the shirt still covering his back. The band in your core snapped and your release washed over you, your body locking around his as you were sure you screamed into his shoulder. 

His hips didn't stop, still fucking into you at that brutal pace he'd set, his thumb still circling your clit and you could feel another orgasm quickly approaching. 

He grunted out, his only request this whole time, "One more," before his voice softened into a whine, "please give me one, pleasepleaseplease." 

You didn't fight the second wave as it crashed into you, stealing your breath. His hips thrust into you just a couple more times before he stilled and his hands gripped your hips hard enough to bruise, his long moan vibrating into the skin of your neck as he buried his face again. 

His legs shook as he stood there with you wrapped so tightly around him, but it was like he didn't dare move from your hold, or let you escape his. And you were fine with that. 

Once you got your breath back, you slowly dragged your fingers over his back and shoulders, threading through his hair before going back down his neck, his muscles loosening with each pass. 

His arms wrapped around your waist in a tight hug as he finally broke the silence, "Can there still be a 'we'?" His voice was so quiet, like he was scared to ask. You pulled his face away from your neck finally. "Are you going to ask me out? Like a real date?" You grinned at the flush on his cheeks. 

"Can I take you on a proper date?" 

You couldn't stop the small laugh that bubbled up in your chest and you nodded, "Absolutely." 

There was a feeling in your chest telling you to think about it more before agreeing, but you ignored it. You knew the risks, and you knew there was more to figure out and more to learn before it would be a smooth road - and that didn't even include telling your parents. 

But that was a problem for another day. Right now, you just wanted to stay wrapped around Bucky in every sense and enjoy the warmth that filled your chest as he looked at you like you hung the sky just for him. 

Yeah, you'd fix the rest of it later. 

As always, thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments, and likes are all appreciated!

If you enjoyed the story, please consider supporting me on my Ko-fi

If you want to be updated when i post a new story, please follow my library blog and turn on notifications <3 @remis-library​ 

[selineram3421]

*giggles like a psycho*

First Day

Part 2

Part 1

Alastor and Child Reader

Warning! ⚠

⚠ children (lol), reader being a menace ☺, blood/gore, ALL CAPS Bold red Italics = SOUND AFFECTS, red italics= Alastor's thoughts, fake crying, food mention(desserts), mention of murder, mention of kidnapping, mention of torture, murder of test demon ⚠

You saw the school bus and it was filled with shouts and screeches of other demon children. Making sure you of the item in your pocket, you readied yourself to begin the plan.

Stage one: Have some control over the school bus.

The door opened and you hop up the steps, the screams even louder now that you were inside.

It was absolutely unhinged.

I can do better. You thought, taking a quick glance to find a seat.

"Hurry up and sit down brat.", the bus driver yelled.

"Quiet before I cut you open.", you said to them without missing a beat and walked towards the back of the bus.

You were calm as the other children were acting like drug addicts.

One was bold enough to try and trip you with their leg out. Looking at them, you see that they have a cocky grin.

"Can you please move your leg? Its in the way.", you ask.

"No. Just go over it.", they laughed.

With a shrug you do just that, they try and lift their leg up higher to trip you but you jump at the last second and aim for their knee.

SNAP

They scream like bloody murder as they cry, grabbing the attention of the other children. All eyes are on you and the broken leg that's spewing out blood.

"I did ask nicely.", you say before continuing on your way to the open seat in the back.

Finally, you arrive at the school and find your classroom, now you were standing next to the teacher as your new classmates make a mess with paper planes and other items.

"Everyone SHUT UP! This is the new student.", the teacher Ms. Mayberry introduces you to the class. "Go on and say hello, then take the empty seat over in the middle."

You nod and smile as you face the children.

"Don't cross me or you might end up like Mikey!", you say cheerfully and go sit down.

Stage two: Assert dominance and be kind to those who are kind to you. *weed out any snakes*

.

Alastor got ready to pick up his little demon.

I wonder if they had fun. He thought before leaving the hotel.

On his way over, he picked up some pastries from their favorite bakery. Now the Radio Demon was just a few feet away from the gate that had a few lingering children, that's where he saw his little one waiting with the teacher who was smoking.

They spotted him and lit up.

"Alastor!", they cheered before running up.

The teacher had backed up a bit after noticing who he was.

"Good afternoon mon petite!", he said and picked them up. "Did you have a good time? Hm? Were there any pests?"

"I took care of it! But all of them went home alive.", they replied as he began walking back to the hotel. "Bye Ms. Mayberry!", they waved to their teacher.

They had started to tell him what happened on the school bus as they got closer to the hotel, that is when the deer demon reminded them to look sad.

"I don't think I can keep a straight face but I can still cry like I'm sad.", the little demon said. "I know what to do."

They hid their face on his shoulder and started shaking their shoulders, making convincing sniffles and sobs.

Alastor opened the hotel doors, finding the princess and her partner, one of them holding a cupcake.

"Oh no, what happened?", Charlie asked after noticing the little demon's shaking shoulders.

"There was a bully that harassed them today.", he answered and made his way over to the stairs, lifting up the bakery box. "I've already bought them sweets to cheer them up but you can leave the cupcake for dessert after dinner."

Once in the hotel room, he sets them down and put the box of sweets on the small table near the door.

"Wash your hands before getting your sweets.", he says before helping them take off their school bag.

"Ok!", they nod and run over to the bathroom.

Taking the box, the demon in red snaps his fingers to conjure some plates on the coffee table. He sets up the table before putting the pastries on the plates. Making sure to get their favorite cup for their drink.

They went to their room before coming back out with no coat and taking a seat on the couch.

"Now, tell me all about your day.", he said giving them a plate with a slice of cranberry pomegranate curd tart. "What kind of drink would you like with your sweets?"

They ask for their favorite drink and proceed to tell him about what happened after the "tripping" incident.

The deer demon prepares a cup of coffee while getting their drink.

"Some of the kids tried to act tough and pick a fight with me during reeses. The supervisors don't care if there's a fight as long as no one gets killed.", they said before taking a bite of the tart. "I broke a lot of bones today.", they add.

"Don't speak while chewing dear.", Alastor hands them a napkin, placing their cup next to their plate before sitting down.

They go into detail of all the injuries they caused with a wide smile. Telling him that they want to learn more tactics of intimidation to scare some of the staff.

"Finish your homework and I'll take you out so you can have hands on experience.", he says and sips his coffee.

"Really!?", they ask excited.

"Of course! Its the best way to learn."

After dinner (and their desert), they headed out and found a demon to test on.

"The best way to intimidate someone is through fear. Give them something that will always remind others not to try anything. Breaking the boy's leg was good, but remember that it is on school grounds that you cannot kill.", he says as both of them watch the test demon scream as they are being taken apart limb by limb. "Of course you have my permission to kill anyone that tries to kill or kidnap you. Or other terrible things.."

"Can I torture them a little bit?", they ask.

"Yes, but don't let your guard down.", the Radio Demon says, using the tendrils to rip the test demon's head off. "Remember mon petite, prey can bite back."

On the way back to the hotel, he got them a new plush, a small mouse to attach to their school bag.

"Mr. Squeaks."

Tehe.

~Seline, the person.

Extra: Dessert image

Extra EXTRA: Art

Taglist@

@willowaudreykeyes @kiraisastay @c4rved-pumpk1n @stolas-thebirb @scary-noodlesblog @naelys-the-aster @ducky-died-inside @biromanticboba @roo-bi @pooplyface1423 @lbcreations-blog @+?

ML for Alastor🎙

[strongheartneteyam]

[ all credits of the Neteyam pic go to the incredibly talented @cinetrix ♡]

Champagne Problems

Part 2

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: neteyam is a simp for reader, black cat gf/golden retriever bf "trope", a whole lot of angst, beach party, use of alcohol, some romantic comedy vibes, neteyam acting a bit cocky lol, reader is a tiny bit of a meanie towards neteyam, sexual language, sexual content, reader is a bit antisocial, flirting, emotionally unavailable bc of trauma reader, unrequited love (neteyam is the one having the unrequited feelings), sexual tension, commitment issues, exophilia, size kink, interspecies relationship, bad words. Hit me up to lemme know if I forgot something ahaha

Synopsis: Neteyam has had his eye on you for long but you always kept him away, at a safe distance. You have no feelings for him after all, you only think he's really attractive... right? What happens when he starts flirting with you at a Metkayina beach party and he just won't give it up? Will you finally give him a chance to show you how he feels or will you keep hiding behind the armor that you have for a heart? Neteyam is known among the na'vi as persistent and everybody knows he doesn't back off from a challenge. And you're his favorite one.

Reader is slightly older than Neteyam, for only 2 years.

Neteyam and Reader (AI Art)

Do you guys remember the story inspired by Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift that I promised like ages ago? Well... The first part is here? 🤓 A lot of people seemed to be excited to read this when I posted that sneak peak. Hope you guys like it! kiss kiss 💗

Slightly proofread.

Part 1 : Say Yes to Heaven

𓇼

If you dance, I'll dance

And if you don't, I'll dance anyway

Give peace a chance

Let the fear you have fall away

I've got my eye on you

(...)

Say yes to Heaven, say yes to me

Say Yes To Heaven (Lana Del Rey)

𓇼

"It's not like you're not gonna break me in half if we try to get down and dirty." You laugh a bit too much, the alcohol invading your brain slowly, making you care less and less about behaving in a "socially acceptable" way. Though you wondered if your not-a-bit-elegant-honesty mattered at all to Neteyam Sully, the na'vi boy sitting in the maroon leather couch, by your side, his huge size making the couch look ridiculously small. He was na'vi, after all. Totally different culture. The na'vi were way more upfront about their real thoughts and feelings.

Neteyam had been talking loudly, almost yelling, at your ear for the past 40 minutes, trying to make his voice sound louder than the party's music, so you could hear him try to convince you to hook up with him. As if the loud uplifting songs that echoed in the salty air of that Metkayina beach were not enough to bug your tired head, now you had Neteyam helping your headache get worse.

"That doesn't mean you can't let me take you home. Or even let me make you my mate, eventually, if we end up falling in love while we fuck under the starry sky. You might like laying with me in my hammock and letting me pleasure you more than you think. Maybe you'll want to be my girl once you get a taste of this na'vi spice" He was joking around with you while flirting.

His thick, muscular but still fleshy thighs were spread on the sofa way too much to your liking. It was almost like he was trying to show you how masculine or desirable - some bullshit like that - he was. You know, that kind of thing a lot of guys usually do when trying to seduce you.

You knew Neteyam was aware he was handsome, that his body was attractive. He had always had girls - na'vi and human - all over him since he was a teen, drooling over his beauty.

But if he thought his loverboy flirting that must have worked so easily with just way too many girls before was gonna work that easily with you, he was mistaken.

Okay, you had to admit he was being pretty insistent, though. Neteyam had been there for almost an hour already. You did not understand what was making him insist that much on you if you had an armor as impenetrable as the one of a human warrior of the Middle Ages, back on Earth. And those armors were really hard to get under.

"Listen" you took a last big sip of your champagne and put the glass cup on the wooden table next to the sofa "When you gonna give up, honey? It's not gonna work. I'm not hooking up with you." You looked him in the eyes.

Goddamn, were his orbs big compared to the ones of a human. 

They were beautiful, though.

Damn, (y/n)! Focus, girl!

"I'm known among my people for being disciplined, focused and getting what I want because I fight hard for it. You're my focus now, tawtute." (human) I'm not giving up on you. You're like my Ikran. You're wild and hard to get but I'll conquer you, sevin tawtute." (pretty human) "On the first try."

"Cocky much?" You smirked and shook your head in disapproval "No, but, seriously, Neteyam, are you out of your mind? Have you forgotten about tsaheylu? I don't have a neurological queue, babe. I know I have many braids in my hair," You pointed out your hairstyle "but they're all regular human braids. None of them have little tendrils on its tip. Sorry, Neteyam. We're Romeo and Juliet. And Juliet doesn't even love Romeo in this story. You're deemed to heartbreak." You said, like you could not care less about his attempts to win you over, sipping on your sparkling champagne, that went down your throat comfortably, making you feel cozy and safe. It wasn't gonna work, anyway.

You liked champagne a bit too much... you had to admit it was very possible that you had a bit of a drinking problem. Alcohol made you feel warm inside. In an emotional way too. It felt like someone was hugging you, when you would not let many real people hug you because you just were not exactly enthusiastic about having physical contact with just anyone. You only let your closest friends and some family members, like your little sister, hug you. 

Some people would often call you "cold" and say that you acted "like a queen, above everyone else", behind your back, but that could not be further from the truth. You actually hated how low your actual self steem was.

"Why don't you look at Munì?" You mentioned the curvy, tall, blue eyed Metkayina girl who clearly had a mad crush on Neteyam. She was incredibly pretty. Nobody could deny that. "She has been drooling over you ever since you got here. Give the poor girl a chance. She's such a cutie. If I liked girls, I'd easily do her. Look at those beautiful, long, toned legs. Look at her wide hips. Damn, she's yummy!" you were drinking too much, your honesty getting way too out there.

"I don't want her. I want you." He spoke, like he really meant it. "My hammock will be hanged between those two big trees you like to collect fruits from. I'll be waiting for you, if you want to meet me."

With that last line being said, Neteyam got up from the sofa and walked away, swiftly finding his younger brother Lo'ak and tapping on his back, like men usually do. Both brothers started what looked like an interesting conversation.

You were left alone wondering how Neteyam could say those words and walk away so nonchalantly. 

"Phew! I thought he'd never leave, girlie." Adeline screamed, coming closer to you.

She was your best friend. You guys knew way too much about each other, but that only drove you closer and made you two have a beautiful bond that felt unbreakable. She was one of the few people in the world you trusted with many of your secrets. But not even she knew everything about you. Yes, talk about trust issues…

"God, I was about to call his sister to take him away! Kiri is much more chill and quiet compared to her siblings. She's a sweetheart." You said, finally letting your guard down and being able to relax your body language, laying back on the couch and resting your bare feet on the wooden dark brown table in front of you

𓇼

You cursed yourself while you walked towards Neteyam's big light brown hammock, hanged between two big beautiful trees that reminded you of the Palm Trees that used to exist on Planet Earth.

Why were you doing that, anyway?

"Tawtute! You came." Neteyam smiled, relief all over his face 

You sighed.

"Yeah, but I'm still wondering why I did."

"Ouch!" He put his huge four fingered hand on his chest and frowned, like he was in pain

You rolled your eyes at him.

"Stop that, silly." Crossing your arms, you walked towards the big tropical tree in front of his hammock but still a little far

"Hey! Where are you going?" Neteyam almost screamed as you were already further away from him than you should be if you were actually gonna have sex with him

It was like you were running away from and showing up to the "job" at the same time. Go figure out.

You rested your back against that large tree, feeling the rough edges of the wood harassing your skin.

Neteyam was already almost there where you were. His long na'vi legs helped him walk faster than you anticipated.

Neteyam got next to you. You felt a little fear but a bit of excitement, simultaneously, when you realized your head only reached his hip.

Fuck, he was a giant next to you… why the hell did that turn you on?

"Are you afraid of me, yawntutsyìp?" (little loved one) Neteyam said in a lewd, low voice as you looked at him, feeling like a pathetic little ant looking up at a human

Was that how ants felt?

"No, silly, I'm not." You looked away from him and tried to focus on the way the eclipse had beautiful violet and blue tones

That almost worked. If it wasn't for Neteyam using his huge alien hand to stroke your hair softly.

"You're so pretty, tawtute." You could feel his gaze directed at you, you could feel his heat burning your skin. The desire he felt for you was almost freaking tangible. 

You kept your eyes on the stars.

"You're not gonna look at me, yawntutsyìp? Lemme see those pretty eyes, hmm?" Fuck, he was turning you on so much, your pussy felt good already and there was a tight knot forming in your lower belly. How did he do that to you with so little effort?

You looked up at Neteyam's face, your neck hurting. You did not expect to see a big bulge under his navy blue loincloth, though. Neteyam was so huge you could not help staring and your face totally betrayed your surprise.

"C'mon, I wanna feel your tiny body on mine." He paused and his big blue hand traced your collarbone and your shoulders "You're so small, tawtute… Hmmm…" he let out something between a moan and a growl "So soft too." Neteyam squeezed your arm, feeling your soft human flesh against his slender fingers "I love how different from na'vi girls you are. I'm so lucky to have you all to myself tonight."

Your breath was now labored and your pussy was soaked. Your poor panties were all wet.

"I'm dying to squeeze those titties. They look incredibly soft. But I won't do anything that intimate before you say "yes" first, yawntutsyìp."

•

Taglist:

@yeosxxx (u asked to be tagged in all my writings so I'm tagging u here hehe)

Comments are very welcome. I love all of you who take time to read my writings ♡ Thank you all so much from the bottom of my heart. If you wanna be added to the taglist, just leave a comment down below <3

[tree-obsession]

2.2 SPOILERS!! PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

this is a small lore discussion! mostly speculation and theories- i have not seen leaks about 2.3 plot yet, but i have seen a couple about boothill's character stories, so please keep that in mind!

trigger for mentions of suicide(aventurine) and mega corps(the ipc)

we have to talk about the ending cutscene with aventurine and boothill more! i'll start with my fav parts that no one really has brought up yet:

Aventurine intimidating Boothill after mentioning the guards are out- Boothill sounded so offput and hasty while reassuring him they were just knocked out, and we have to talk about aventurine himself just being intimidating more honestly his glare actually did kind of scare me.

Boothill pointing a gun at aventurine was. well. i'm sorry i did actually laugh at that. boothill i think you should research your targets a bit more honestly that guy is NOT afraid of guns. he fully walked into the nihility and pointed at least one gun at himself, and just got out of his own meticulously-planned suicide. threats of death won't work, sorry. also he has good reason to hate oswaldo schneider as well- threats didn't even have to be used, probably! he would kill him too, probably(revenge arc go go go!!)

the convo between aven and jade was. yeah. why he's betting his life again, i don't know (maybe sarcasm? or it was really just banter?) but it does seem like the two of them aren't super close at all, at least from what little i could gather. also if diamond hurts aventurine the entire fandom will kick his ass, emanator or no, so he better be prepared for that too lol. also, it was a pretty common theory aventurine would leave the ipc after exiting nihility, since acheron presumably broke his ties- i wonder why he went back? perhaps he had no plans as to where to go, or he has some ulterior motive?

how did he get out of nihility so unscathed? (for context, i haven't gotten aven's text messages yet, but i'm aware of some of their contents since they've been floating around w/out spoiler tags. the messages are mentioned a bit here if you wanna avoid spoilering!) i know argenti got him out, but 1) why was argenti there, or where did he even find him? and 2) that seems so random- both argenti and jade confirmed it, but plot-wise what's even the point of argenti pulling him out? also argenti said he was in a "woeful state" when he got out, and apparently the stonehearts are willing to give aven a break (which i'm assuming is major, since stonehearts are super important and have a lot of responsibility, plus he just destroyed a cornerstone) so him already being back on his feet when we see the phone call is a bit weird right away. he doesn't even sound sick, and ratio or any other doctor is nowhere in sight! (message spoilers start here) i'm aware the aventurine cornerstone was fully shattered/destroyed while protecting him from nihility- was he really in there for who-knows-how-long without any protection at all? he's apparently having nightmares and the ipc needed to call in a doctor of chaos to treat him, which is concerning considering his mental health and general will to live were extremely low even before walking into the nihility. like he genuinely has some of the worst will to live i've ever seen in a character or human being- walking through the nihility should have utterly destroyed him mentally and physically, but it didn't. 2.3 HAS to give us a whole lotta context, especially with nihility lore (my favorite aeon, i may be biased) and more about the ipc!

anyway, thank you for reading this poorly formatted, stream-of-consciousness word vomit about 2.2's aventurine lore. hope you liked it! drop ur thoughts in replies and reblogs plz they give me life(although i will be very busy next few weeks, so please don't be offended if you want a reply and don't get it, im so sorry!)

2.2 was peak- a bit slow, but the story was some of the best, if not the best stuff hoyo has given us in terms of writing quality. so great! i cried for sure, and that boss battle was just everything- especially the music. robin my lesbian queen if i didn't have to pull for firefly i would get your lightcone for sure...

see you all next time! thx for sticking around (:

[augustghosts]

Wedding Ring

Tangerine x Fem!reader

Summary: A wedding ring will not stop Tangerine from getting what (who) he wants.

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Smut! Basically straight from the get go so 18+, minors leave pls. Cheating. Pinv. unprotected sex. Lots of teasing and dirty talk. Lots of pet names and swearing.

This is based off of the song Bad Thing by Arctic Monkeys lol. This actually has a little bit of plot, idk if it's gonna be boring or not. I kinda have an idea for a part 2… hehe. As always this isn't proofread soooo, lmk if you spot any dire mistakes. I hope you like <3

@slut4tangerine 🫶

“Your brother is next door.” Breathless, a sigh. Practically a moan. A dingy hotel room somewhere in a noisy part of the city. Cheap and small. They had only been in here a few minutes, their bags tossed by the door, curtains shut. Shoes still on but Tangerine had her up against the door nethertheless. His large, ringed hand gripped her waist tightly. His warm, kiss swollen mouth traveled down her neck.

“So?” She can feel the smile on his lips as he whispers against her ear. Another dreamy sigh leaves her mouth. “He’s tired. He’s probably already in bed. Don’t make me think about my brother right now.” He finishes his sentence by shamelessly palming her tits through her blouse. “All I've been thinking about is you.”

“Yeah?” She starts to reach for the buttons on his shirt.

“Yeah.” He groans when she gets the buttons undone and runs her palms over his chest. “I’ve been thinking about you all fucking day.”

“What were you thinking about?” He’s returning the favor now, ripping open her shirt. His eyes darted straight to her chest. Not as courteous as she was with his clothes.

“Been thinking about this stupid little skirt. Been thinking about how good you look in it.” His hands run down her back to grab at her ass, a firm squeeze makes her whimper as he says: “How good your ass looks in it.”

When he starts to kiss down her neck again, her head naturally moves to the side to give him some more room. A glint catches her eye, a small flicker of reflecting light on the bedside table. Her wedding ring sits neglected on the side, just like the man who gave it to her sits neglected on the other side of the world. He notices the change, he knows - he always knows.

“Don’t worry about it.” He mumbles, his hand weaving into her hair to make him look at her. His strong grip pulled her head back. His other hand on her back, keeping her flush against him. Keeping her there to feel how hard he already was. By it, he meant him. Her husband, her marriage. Tangerine hated thinking about it. She should have his ring on her finger, he would have bought her a much nicer one. He hadn’t held back from telling her this in the past and honestly, she believed him. He always made sure she had nothing but the best.

Taking off the ring didn’t make it any easier - maybe it made it worse. Thew thought of fucking her with the ring on made Tangerine’s cock stir to life. The thought of holding her hands above her head as he fucked her, while the ring sat there on her finger. Fuck, he wanted that. He wasn’t even sure why. But she always took it off and unfortunately for him, he had to respect that. Her brain constantly warns her that removing the ring every time probably makes this whole affair harder, the mere act of removing the ring makes her feel guilty. But there is just something about Tangerine that she can't resist. Something that she needs. Something that makes all of this strangely worth it.

Tangerine is like a whirlwind. His lips capture hers again, his hands continue their race to pull off her shirt - her bra following. He maneuvers her down to the surprisingly soft mattress. It never took him long to get her squirming and begging. She only needs half an excuse and she’ll be away with him. Away with him down the same road they’ve traveled a million times before. His lips leave hers to rid himself of his own shirt.

“Tan, please.” She whimpers below him. Her hands caressing his chest that was now bared to her - warm skin and muscle under her soft palms.

“Tell me what you want, sweetheart.” He coos. “You want me to touch you?” One of his thick fingers trailed over her covered pussy, his arm pushing her skirt up over her hips. Her legs wrap around his waist in an attempt to pull him closer. His other hand comes up to cradle her throat. Such a simple touch yet it held everything. And he knew that she loved it. He drew back to look at her underneath him.

“You look so good like this baby. Tell me what you want.” He urged, his voice deeper. It wasn’t enough for him to feel it or see it, he wanted to hear it. Hear her beg for it, hear her beg for him.

“I don’t know.” She breathes. His grip on her neck is still tight. “Just hurry. Please.”

“You do.” He whispers. “Show me.”

She rolls her eyes at him, grabbing his hand that was around her neck and guiding it back under her bunched up skirt. The place that always ached for him. His touch is always electric. His hand slipped into her already soaked panties, she’d been wet for him for most of the day. But she wouldn’t tell him that. The last thing he needed was an ego boost. His fingers easily find her clit, circling it tightly - slowly. The whines and moans that she let out sounded heavenly, the sounds he always thought about when he was alone. His fingers slid down just a bit further.

“So wet for me already.” he groans. She was dripping for him, writhing against his hand. Craving him. She flushed as he held his hand up to the lamp beside the bed, his fingers glistened in the dull light.

“Look at that.” He smirked.

“Stop being a dick.” she said, reaching for his belt buckle. “Get on with it.”

“I just like taking my time with you, baby.” He said as he slipped his two fingers into her mouth, pushing them past her lips. Groaning at the feel of her mouth - warm and wet.

“I can’t wait to get my cock in between those lips.” He mumbled as he helped her with his pants, throwing them to the floor. He undid the zip at her hip, unraveling the skirt and slipping it down her legs, joining his clothes on the floor. He pressed a kiss to her navel as he slipped off her soaked panties next. Then, he was above her again- her hands cradle his neck as she pulls him down for a kiss. He kissed her like no one else. Better than her husband ever had.

“We’ll save that for later, I can't wait to have you baby. You look so pretty like this.” She was a sight that Tangerine thought he could worship for the rest of his damn life. Legs eagerly open for him, pussy glistening in front of him.

“Please Tan, I need you.” She whimpered. He smiled and stood on his knees before her. Pressing one last kiss to her lips before pulling away, grasping her waist in his strong hand - the other one holding his cock at her entrance. “Tell me how much you want it.”

“I thought I told you to stop being a dick?” Her ankles around his waist attempt to encourage him forward.

Tangerine laughed before wrapping his hand around the base of his cock and finally pushing inside of her. They both groaned in unison, moaning into each other's mouths. Fuck, he filled her up so well. It always felt so right. He started slowly, studying her face - engraving every little reaction into his mind. Waiting to hear her begging for him, the way he liked.

“Fuck, please.” She finally breathed out - she sounded heavenly. “Harder!”

“Yeah? You want it harder?” He pulled out, ignoring her whines of protest and gripping her hips. “Turn over for me, gorgeous.”

He helps up onto her knees and flips her over, a groan leaving him as she pushes her ass up into the air. He places his hand on the small of her back, forcing her to arch her back further. Her hands grip the pillow in front of her as he pushes back inside of her, immediately starting a bruising pace.

“Is this how you wanted it?” He asks. She moans in response, a firm slap to her ass encourages her to answer.

“Yes! Yes, fuck, Tan.” She practically shouts, her voice high pitched. The sound of skin on skin rings throughout the room, if she wasn’t so far gone she would be hoping they didn’t have anyone staying in the rooms next door.

He slaps her ass again, his palm soothing the spot afterwards as he mutters; “So fucking perfect, baby.” He loves seeing her face, loves the face she makes when she comes for him. But having her like this - back arched, face pressed into the mattress, it always ignited a fire in him. He keeps up his pace, she always marveled at how strong he was. A lot stronger than he looked, she had underestimated him when they first met. Something he would soon teach her to regret. She’s close - a tingling in her belly that travels down her legs tells her so. Her fingers come up to rub at her clit, it almost drives Tangerine insane.

“Oh fuck yes, touch yourself sweetheart. Shit, are you close, baby?” He’s close too, it’s so hard for him to hold back when it comes to her. He wasn’t even embarrassed about it, and he made sure she knew it. “So fucking tight baby, you feel fantastic. Gonna make me come all over you. You want that?”

“Yes! Please. I want it.” She screamed, she knew he liked it when she was vocal. “I’m gonna come, Tan. Shit, don’t stop!”

Her mouth opened, a moan of his name followed by her pressing her face into the pillow as she came. His hand wrapped into her hair, tugging her head back up. “Oh no you don’t.” He hissed, his teeth gritted, jaw tight. “I wanna fucking hear you baby. Fuck, i’m gonna come all over this gorgeous ass, sweetheart.”

And that he does, she’s still recovering - moaning softly and panting, when he pulls out and spills over her skin. His hand finishing himself off. A gruff moan of her name as she feels his seed drip down her thighs. Honestly, she could have come again just from the sounds he made. She collapsed onto the mattress, turning over onto her back - he flops beside her. She laughs when the bed creaks underneath them. Both of them are breathing heavily and she can feel him looking at her. she doesn’t want to turn, this was always the hardest part - meeting those big blue eyes and having to leave him behind.

When she does meet his gaze, it's exactly as she suspected. He’s looking at her hopefully, laying on his side, his head propped up on his hand.

“You know we only booked two rooms, right?” He says. “So, unless you’re planning on rooming with Lemon next door….”

He trails off, a proud smirk on his face. Two rooms. Of course. She knew she should have done it herself. Oh well, nothing she can do now. She’s tired and sweaty and honestly, going to sleep in Tangerine’s arms sounds like heaven. But first, she gets up to shower and of course, he follows. Half an hour later they are back in the bed, the room is dark but illuminated by the bustling city lights - reds and purples. An open window lets a comfortable breeze in, the soft sound of cars and Tangerine’s breathing fills her ears. His strong arm is laying over her waist, she’s pulled tightly to his chest - so warm. Fuck, she could get used to this. She really should have booked her own room. But for now, this is okay. Just this once.

[biisexualemma]

haunted pt.6. bucky barnes

word count: 1.6k

requested: yes sorry it's been literal years

warnings: alludes to abuse / violence, nightmares, trauma, ptsd

plot: you relive your trauma in your dreams... bucky is there with you

a/n: sorry i just poofed into thin air, i've just been busy and neglected this and just haven't really been writing at all. but i revisited recently and saw someone request more of this series which is so lovely-- anyway, i knew i had a few more parts already written out for this series that i just never finished / edited. so here i am, editing them and trying to stop starting series that i never finish lol (sorry)! anyway, i hope you enjoy, this is very angsty and it remains that way for a while now sorrrrryyy but it's good i swear hehe

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 7 / masterlist

you lay unconscious, deep in sleep but your body, unbeknownst to your mind, was reacting physically to every scenario you encountered in your dreams.

your fingertips twitching as you typed in the code on the computer, your breaths growing short and uneven as you hit one too many failed passcode attempts, sweat lining your brow as you tried again and again, the sirens blaring all around you, overwhelming your senses. 

"shit, shit, shit,"

you muttered under your breath, the code wasn't working. that fucker had fed you false information. in a split second of rage you picked up the keyboard and slammed it down on the desk, watching it shatter in front of you. "fuck!" you panted, head in hands when you realised what came next. you were stuck after attempting to escape. they would get to you eventually and it would be bad when they did. you had been traumatised over much lesser crimes before. 

tears began to fill your eyes, your fingers curled and you repeatedly slammed a fist against your forehead. the sirens piercing your eardrums, seeming to grow louder the longer they rang. "think, think," you sniffled, "fuck— think."

your cheeks were wet now, your hands balled into fists, arms twitching and your lips muttering incoherent whispers. unbeknownst to your body or your mind, the super soldier in the room next over to yours was wide awake, unable to sleep for fear of his own demons. 

you had nothing, no way of getting out. you were stuck. you pushed yourself away from the desk, the swivel chair rolling backwards until it hit something and came to halt. in a second you felt your blood run cold, your jaw tightened, you held your breath in dread of what was to come. of who stood behind you.

your eyebrows knitted together, a small, sharp line forming in between your brows. you knew what you were in for and your body recoiled at the thought. you didn't want to show any weakness, you kept your lips tightly sealed, despite the slight quiver you felt.

"nice try, agent," goosebumps prickled your neck and down your shoulders, feeling his breath ghost your bare skin, hearing the depth of his voice made your stomach knot.

before you could even beg for any kind of mercy, a large, heavy hand was clamped around your mouth, second arm wrapped across your chest, gripping your shoulders forcefully. "i don't want to hear the excuses, agent," you let out a sob you'd been holding in when another agent grabbed your legs, another grabbing your torso as you were lifted up and dragged backwards out of the chair you sat in.

you thrashed your limbs as hard as you could manage but you were outnumbered and overpowered. your eyes were stinging at this point, burning and blurring your vision as you screamed mercilessly.

he pulled out one of his headphones when he heard a thud, the podcast that had been playing, paused and he listened carefully. he waited a minute or so, nothing but silence, and just as he was about to pop the headphone back in his ear he heard it again. he jolted upright this time, it had come from your room. he pulled the covers off himself, eyebrows knitted as he listened intently, slipping his socks on as he waited for another sign. last thing he wanted to do was barge in on you unannounced and interrupt anything. you had done nothing but complain about your lack of privacy while you'd been staying here, so he didn't want to overstep.

but then he heard a sob, followed by muffled shouts and he was quick to leave his room and all of a sudden he was outside your door. he went to open the door, knowing it'd be unlocked (you hadn't been trusted with locks yet) but hesitated, he knew this was such an invasion of privacy. he thought about the countless times he'd dealt with the same thing, he thought about how he'd feel if the roles were reversed.

then came a blood curdling scream and he didn't hesitate to let himself in. he entered, the light from the hallway lit up your bed where you were now sat bolt upright. your eyes open wide, bloodshot, soaked with tears but unresponsive, he knew you were still asleep despite your body thrashing around. you were fighting with your bed sheets, sobbing, heaving and shouting incoherently.

he took a split second to react, in a daze as he witnessed you in a state he'd never expected from you but one that he knew well. he closed the door over, to avoid disturbing anyone else on the floor, but thankfully the rest of the team were pretty spread out.

he perched himself on the edge of your bed, trying to approach with caution so not to cause you anymore distress. "y/n," he spoke clearly, carefully reaching over you and pulling back the bed sheets to free you from their restraints, and cool you down. he noticed the lamp, usually sat beside your bed, was now broken on the floor, next to your book and a few other strewn items.

"y/n," he repeated louder this time, trying to bring you back and snap you out of your daze. your movements were slowing down, becoming weaker, your body fell back against the mattress with a heavy thud, which seemed to be enough to jolt you awake. you rolled onto your side immediately, your body jerking as you sobbed into your pillow, unaware of his presence at first until he spoke again. 

"hey," he mumbled, quiet so not to spook you. you were in such a state, you didn't react much, only looked up at him with heavy, sunken, wet eyes. you hiccuped, your breathing uneven and your body curled into somewhat of a cocoon with your arms wrapped around yourself. "it's ok," he whispered, trying to appear calm even though the lump in his throat was nearly choking him. "you're ok," he repeated, giving you a gentle nod.

your eyebrows furrowed upwards again, a pained expression returning to your features after the brief moment of peace you felt from seeing him next to you was plagued by the memories of your past.

"you're good, you're safe," was all he could think to say, to offer reassurance. he knew too well how disorienting it was to wake up from a nightmare like that, especially in unfamiliar surroundings. you had nothing familiar to offer comfort, other than bucky. 

you nodded your head, coming around enough to know what was real and what wasn't, but images continued to flash in your mind. you used the palms of your hands to apply pressure to your eyelids, jaw clenched tight as you tried to suppress another cry. you just needed to ride it out.

"you want me to give you some space—?" he leaned closer, trying to catch some kind of reaction out of you but there was none. bucky figured he'd give you a few minutes to put yourself together again, while he fetched you a bowl of cereal. 

he halted, half sitting, half standing on his way out when he felt your hand grab his. the metal was cool against your hand, soothing your burning skin as you pulled him back to his seat. your arms hugged onto his hand with a fierce grip.

your guard was down and he was careful about how he went about this, he didn't want to lose what little trust he had with you at this point. he'd only caught a glimpse of you like this, weeks ago and since you had been seriously on your guard. he didn't want a repeat of that.

"i can stay," he muttered. "'m' not doing anythin'— my podcast can wait."

he made sure to get himself comfortable, he had no idea how long you intended for him to stay but he would be here as long as you needed. he carefully slumped off the side of the bed, sitting himself on the floor, never letting his arm (the one you were now cradling in your arms) move an inch so as not to disturb you.

you watched him move around you with care and concern, you felt more at ease with him next to you. you knew he understood.

you looked visibly calmer, your breathing was lighter, hiccups less frequent, eyelashes still wet but your eyelids drooped every fews seconds, your cheeks flushed red. the calm after the storm— he could see it in your face. your hair was messy, you blew out a puff of air when a stray piece of hair kept falling across your face.

he wore a very small, almost non-existent smile watching your failed efforts, his free hand reaching out without thinking to brush the hair out of your face. realising what he'd done, his lips straightened out and his hand froze in place.

he opened his mouth to apologise but you cut him off, you gave a small shake of your head. "it's ok," your voice was quiet, the words came out almost as a croak. "promise," you reassured him.

he nodded stiffly, but to be safe he rested his palm back on his lap, flesh hands to himself. he watched your eyelids grow closer and closer to closing, unable to fight the tire taking over your body again.

you gripped his hand tighter, a small line forming between your brows again as your eyes neared close. "please don't go," you mumbled, your lips grazing the metal palm of his hand as you spoke.

"go to sleep," he whispered back to you, watching your lips part slightly, deep breaths following as you slipped off into a sleep. he gave your hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance. "i'm not going anywhere."

you woke up late the next morning with your arm dangling over the side of the bed. when you peered over the edge you saw bucky laying on the floor beside your bed, his arm outstretched, hand still locked with yours.

tag list: @caillouthebabywitch @alanis-altair @the-obelisk @seabass17 @bqnners @jihyunncho @inpraizeof @angelpirabbit @the-chocoholic-writer @cjand10 @paintlavillered @leviathanspain @luckyzipperscissorsbat

[btsgotjams27]

this is us ~ jjk | epilogue

✨ title: this is us | complete (sequel to all grown up) ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader | ✨ rating: m/18+ | minors dni ✨ genre/au: drama, romance, angst, fluff, smut | est!relationship, age gap, best friend’s brother ✨ playlist | ✨if you haven’t read the prequel to this, please do so here! :) ✨ a/n: hi my TIU darlings. we have finally come to the conclusion of this story. 1.5 years later. it's crazy to think about. anywho, i've done my best to research IVF treatments and outcomes, so don't come for me if something is inaccurate (i tried!!!) ✨ a/n 2: remember we have our little TIU celebration!! which I'll make a post about on Friday, which will include some fun things for you. i hope you'll join in on the fun. lastly, thank you so much to everyone who has followed this little story from the beginning. i owe y'all so much!!

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ]

epilogue ~ us | wc: 5.9k

warnings: minor language, the pacing is fast so bear with me!, mentions of ~ fertility treatments (IVF) + needles + low sp*rm motility, some sad thoughts, a game reference to the tv show (This Is Us--iykyk), note: IVF cycles are typically around 2 months, oc jokes about unaliving jk bc he got her preggo, descriptions of labor (err--if you don't wanna read it, then just skip it??), idk I think that's it in terms of warnings lol--if I miss any, kindly let me know

~ Six Months Later ~

Two percent.

The IVF success rate for women ages 35 to 37, and you were smack dab in the middle. Well, you haven't turned 36 yet.

Your face was buried in your hands as you repeated the number. You sat back, turning to Jungkook. “The success rate is 2%. Two!”

He looked just as disappointed after the two of you spoke to the third fertility specialist within a few months, but Jungkook was always optimistic. “It’s better than zero.”

You groaned, leaning over and burying your face in your hands again. He rubbed in circular motions up and down your back. Your eyes began to well up, tears on the verge of falling.

“I know you’re just trying to make me feel better, but this fucking sucks.” Everywhere you went, the outcome was the same. There was nothing hopeful about the situation.

Jungkook massaged the back of your neck. He muttered softly, ‘Hey.’ He stood, holding your hand, making you stand with him. He pulled you in for a hug. His body warmth radiates as he embraces you. “We’re gonna be part of that 2% success rate.”

You pressed your ear to his chest. His heartbeat is steady. Bum. Bum. It begins to calm your own.

You don’t want to say your thoughts, but your mouth is faster than your brain. “But what if we’re not?” Your heart speeds back up.

Jungkook immediately withdraws from you, grabbing your shoulders and making you square up with him. “Okay—time to play ‘worst case scenario.’ Go.”

The two of you started this little game, taking turns saying all the bad things you’re thinking. With no judgment, no censorship—saying aloud your fears takes away the power they hold, according to your therapist.

“We get pregnant and lose the baby.”

It was a scenario you already had in the past.

“We try all four cycles and don’t get pregnant,” Jungkook says.

“We exhaust every option, spend all our money, go broke, have to move in with Yuna and Namjoon, and still don’t get pregnant.”

Jungkook blinks. There’s no show of emotion on his face. He closes the distance between you, cupping your face. “Or—we keep trying, get pregnant, and have a baby.”

You gaze into those doe eyes you love so much. You couldn’t do this without him and the hope and support he brings. “I’m glad you’re here with me.”

The corners of his mouth curved up, “Sorry baby, you can’t get rid of me so easily.”

“Baby?”

“I mean—wifey.”

You chuckled, teasing him at his own game. “Can we go home and veg out?” All you wanted was a bowl of ice cream and your comfort movie.

“You’re not giving up on me, are you?” Jungkook raises his eyebrow.

“Just for tonight, okay?” You give a small smile. “Then tomorrow morning, I’ll put on my brave face.”

“Deal.”

“Hmm, which one do you think Hyunie and Taehyung would like?” You tilted your head, debating between the mylar helium balloons. One said ‘Hello baby’ with zoo animals, and the other said ‘Sweet baby girl.’

Who knew picking out balloons would be so hard?

“I like the ‘Sweet baby girl’ one, and here,” Jungkook points to a cloud-shaped balloon, “Get this one too.”

The two of you walked hand in hand down the hall, ready to greet the happy parents. Hyunie was in early labor for a day and a half before active labor started. She texted, saying it was the longest few days of her life.

“This will be us soon,” Jungkook says before approaching their hospital room.

You flashed a thin smile. “I hope so.”

When you walked in, Hyunie happily ate a jello dessert, and Taehyung was passed out on what looked like an uncomfortable chair. His hand is gripping the bassinet where baby Hani is all bundled up in a swaddle blanket and beanie with a gigantic bow–almost bigger than her.

Hyunie grins when she sees you, and Jungkook brings her index finger to her lips, mouthing ‘shh,’ and points to her sleeping babies.

You walk to Hyunie’s bedside, and Jungkook goes to Taehyung’s.

“Hi, Mama,” you say, leaning to hug her. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing much better after this jello–just the energy boost I needed.”

“Aw–good! Now, I will ditch you and steal your baby for a moment.”

Hyunie giggles. “Be my guest!”

You stroll over to Jungkook as he’s standing in front of the bassinet, facing Hani. You wrap your arm around his waist, placing your head against his chest, focusing on his heartbeat.

“She’s so tiny,” he points out.

“Are you going to hold her?”

“What if I break her?”

You pinch his belly. “You’re not going to break her. Just be extra careful and support her neck and body.”

Jungkook didn’t have the luxury of being around when Indie was a baby, but he’ll get some practice in with baby Hani.

He took a deep breath and shook off his nerves. He stepped closer to the bassinet, his left hand cradled underneath Hani’s neck, and then you muttered to take his right hand underneath her bottom. He gently lifts her from the bassinet, trying to shift her head closer into the crook of his arm.

Hani begins to stir and squirm in his arms, but you reassure him that it’ll be okay. “Gently rock her, and she’ll settle.”

“How are you so good at this?” He looks at you before focusing on Hani again.

You giggle. “Well, I have a pretty good record as an Auntie.”

“You’re going to be a great mom,” he says, kissing your cheek. “Me as a dad? That’s a different story.”

“It’ll take practice, Kook. We can’t be so hard on ourselves already.”

“Mm, you’re right.”

Jungkook feels a kick against his leg. It was Taehyung probably having an intense dream.

“I’m up! I didn’t fall asleep!” Taehyung hollers, immediately sitting up.

All of you blink at the newly tired dad and start laughing. This would hopefully be you and Jungkook soon. Tired and delusional with a baby in your arms.

The white walls and tiled floors were becoming familiar to you and Jungkook. You slowly turned to your husband, who was hunched over, holding the bridge of his nose. It was your turn to comfort him.

You focused on the small spider crawling down the wall, sucking in your lips, trying your best not to laugh.

He turned to you, pouting. “Don’t laugh.”

You raised your eyebrows, lips still sucked in, shaking your head. “Do you see me laughing?”

“You’re laughing on the inside. I know it.”

Your hands rubbed his shoulders, rocking him back and forth. “Kook–it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

He leaned back, head against the wall. “I was,” he paused, “nervous.”

“Mmhm,” you nodded. “I bet that’s the reason.”

Jungkook groaned, stomping his feet, burying his face in his hands.

On the inside, you were chuckling just a bit. You knew how much he prided himself in how much he could come. He’d always point it out, especially after you two started trying for a baby.

Like how he’d always comfort you, you gave him tickle scratches along his spine, letting him know it’d be okay.

“I’m sure you’re not the only man who has a high sperm count but has low motility.”

He pops back up. “I need to see my little men under a microscope. Whoever the lab tech is must be wrong.”

“Kook—” you stressed. “I did a lot of research, and they say men with high sperm count and low motility can still have kids.”

He lets out a deep breath. “I know. I’m just being a big baby.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him to you. “See, I don’t need a baby—I have one right here,” you teased, patting his cheek as he pouted again. “I’m kidding. I want a little human with your eyes and cute nose.” You reached to bite his nose gently, and he chuckled, going for a kiss.

“Worst case scenario?” he asks.

You tilted your head, thinking about the infinite possibilities, but the two of you always came up with the same outcomes. “How about the best-case scenario?”

Jungkook hums.

“We get pregnant and have a baby.”

He perks up. “We have two babies.”

You blink at your starry-eyed hubby, holding out your hand in defense. “Okay–let’s just try to have one first.”

You hissed, closing your eyes when the sharp needle pierced your flesh. Thankfully, it was the last day of injections. Jungkook was always a champ when it came to these shots.

He set the syringe down, grabbing a piece of gauze to apply pressure on the wound. “Are you okay?”

You nodded. This was round two of your IVF cycle. The first cycle was tough–you were mentally, physically, and emotionally drained. Your mood was constantly changing. You were bloated, fatigued—you name it, you had it.

Even Bam could tell something was happening. He was on alert, guarding your every move. He was the spitting personality of Jungkook.

Bam was lying outside the bathroom door, waiting for the two of you to finish. As soon as you walk out, his head perks up, and he stands to his feet, following you to the bed. Jungkook drapes the duvet over you and hands you the TV remote. Bamie looks at you with his doe eyes, practically asking if he could come to snuggle with you.

“Come on,” you say, gesturing for him to get onto the bed, and he does without hesitation. You wouldn’t mind Bamie snuggles today.

Jungkook sits on the bed’s edge. He inches closer, stroking your cheek. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home today?”

You shake your head no. “I’ll be fine. I have Bamie.”

He gives a small smile. “I’ll only be there a couple of hours, then I’ll be back. Call me if you need anything or want me to pick up dinner, okay?”

You hummed, kissing him before turning on the TV. Bamie looks at the two of you, then turns his attention to the screen.

Jungkook stands by the door, saying goodbye. He closes it, his hand lingering on the knob. He wants to stay and snuggle with you and Bam all day, but he also has to network to be a candidate for this new job.

“Okay, Bam. What should we watch?” You look over, and his eyes are already closed, making you chuckle. “Can’t hang, huh, bud?” You ruffle his floppy ears.

You’re unsure what you’re in the mood for.

Thriller/Suspense. Nope.

Romance. Nope.

Action. Maybe.

The trailer started playing for Bullet Train. You’re not a huge fan of Brad Pitt, but you could digest his acting when you felt like it. Sure, why not? There was nothing else to do.

It was strange how you found yourself in Ladybug, Brad Pitt’s character. It’s not like you’re an assassin, but you were privy to misfortunes.

You stopped yourself and shook the notion off. No. This round of IVF was going to work. The trigger shot, the egg retrieval, and the transfer would be successful. Everything will work out. Your fate was not like Ladybug; instead, you’d be lucky.

~ Two Weeks Later ~

As you had anticipated, everything went smoothly with the rest of cycle two. And today was the big day: finding out if it worked.

Unfortunately, the only mishap was that Jungkook’s interview was at the same time as your appointment. He was so close to skipping it, but you threatened him with divorce and no sex if he didn’t go.

You had already come in two days earlier to give a blood sample and were confused about why you had to come in again so suddenly.

Maybe you should take it as a good sign, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up for fear that it wouldn’t be a positive outcome—you’d just expect the unexpected. If it happens—great. If it doesn’t, then you’d keep trying.

Two knocks on the door before it became ajar, and your doctor stuck their head in.

“Hello, hello,” they chirped, opening the door wider as they stepped in.

You sat in the chair against the wall, and they rolled out a stool, sitting before you. You’re anxious. You wished they’d spit it out already.

“Let me start with some good news,” they say, and you listen intently. “There is detection of hCG in your body.”

Your eyes scan their face for the bad news.

“And the not-so-bad news is, we’ll need you to come in every day for the next 8-10 days so we can monitor your levels.”

Your mouth is open, but no words or even thoughts are forming. Again, you didn’t want to celebrate too early.

“Does this mean what I think it means?” you ask, twiddling with your thumbs, your heart ready to burst with joy.

The doctor smiles. “It’s a good sign.”

You suck in your lips and suppress a smile. Your skin is warming up, and you only want to call Jungkook and tell him the good news.

But the little voice in your head was like a broken record, ‘Don’t get ahead of yourself.’

“Today, we’ll monitor your levels, and as I said previously, we’d like you to come in every day until we feel like your levels are steady.”

You nodded in agreement.

The real question was, would you tell Jungkook or just wait? He’d want to know, right?

You had gone in every day to test your levels, and each time they increased, your heart would leap when you were given the results.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, weary of your frequent daily outings, but you told him you just needed fresh air and time to yourself, and there was nothing he needed to worry about.

You felt guilty for keeping it from him. He’s your husband, after all. In your mind, it would soften the devastation if this embryo transfer didn’t work. At least you would have had time to process it and then help Jungkook, and then the both of you wouldn’t be a mess simultaneously like the first go-around.

“Congratulations.”

You clutched onto the baby photo album against your chest as you turned around to find a sales clerk. “Oh–um, thank you.”

“Is there anything I can help you find?”

You shook your head no. This was so new that you didn’t know where to begin. “I’m just looking, thank you.”

She smiled warmly. “Well, if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask,” she said before walking away.

The only thing you could think of was if Jungkook would be upset at you for waiting so long to tell him.

You took a moment to breathe before entering the apartment. Your hand trembled as you reached for the doorknob. As soon as you open the door, you’re greeted by Bam, who sniffs your bag. You kneeled before him, placing a kiss on his face.

“Where’s Jungkookie?” you whispered, ruffling his ears. Bam licks your face before leading you to him.

He’s sitting on the couch, legs crossed on the coffee table as you sit beside him. You reach over to kiss him.

“Did you have a nice little outing?” he asked, setting the remote down. Bam lays down by both your feet.

You hummed. “I got you a little present.”

His lips thinned, and he narrowed his eyes.

“Just–open it.”

Jungkook removes the tissue paper and takes a photo album with a note attached. “Looks like I’ll get to call you a new name…” he reads confusedly.

At the end of the note is an arrow. He flips open the album to see the word ‘daddy’ written at the top of the page and a black and white ultrasound photo.

“Is this–is this what I think it is?” He slowly turned to you, his eyes glistening.

You nod, suppressing your smile, and a tear runs down your cheek. “We’re pregnant.”

Jungkook closes his eyes and breathes out a deep sigh. “Is this why you’ve been going out so much?”

“Please don’t be mad at me. I just–I didn’t want us to be disappointed again. I wanted us to have a win, and last time was devastating cause I feel like it's always hard to come by wins–well, for me, at least. Then your whole low motility thing made you sad. When they called me to come in again, I didn't want to get my hopes up in case we didn't get pregnant, and then they kept calling me. Of course, I became more hopeful and hated that I was more hopeful, and then I felt guilty for keeping this from you, and now we're pregnant and finally have some space to breathe.”

You finished your rambling and were too busy to notice Jungkook grinning from ear to ear. 

“Anything else?”

You shook your head no.

Jungkook holds your hands. "Baby, I'm not mad at you.”

“You’re not?” You thought he’d be furious.

He shook his head, placing his hand on your belly, gently rubbing it. “A little human is growing inside of you.”

You look down, then back up at him. “Wanna see the video?” 

Jungkook flashes a smile and nods. You pull out your phone, scrolling to the ultrasound video you recorded. It plays, then zooms into the monitor. The tech points out the moving blob in the corner, and the sound of whooshing and thumping can be heard.

Just as listening to Jungkook’s heartbeat was always reassuring for you, hearing your baby’s heartbeat became another. It was proof that the baby did exist. It’s real. It’s not a figment of your imagination.

The video was on a loop, and you hadn’t realized you were still smiling at the screen. Jungkook holds your chin with his thumb and index finger, making you turn to him. “We did it.”

You hum. “We did.”

Week 20

(Five Months Pregnant) 

To say you haven’t been worried sick since you found out you were pregnant would be a lie. You even bought a fetal monitor and made Jungkook figure out how to use it. You did everything by the book because you didn’t want anything to go wrong.

And searching the internet for what could be wrong with you didn’t help. It gave you more concern than anything.

Today was a big day.

You didn’t know if the flutters in your belly were the baby or because you were nervous. Maybe both.

Jungkook sat beside you on the bed, holding your hand–gripping actually.

You tapped him, telling him to let go.

“Sorry–I’m just nervous.”

“You’re nervous?” you chuckle. “At least you don’t have a full bladder. I hate this part of pregnancy.” Having a full bladder encourages better sound energy, says your internet search, and having a baby in your belly and a pea-sized bladder was a recipe for disaster.

The sonographer comes in and greets you both. She preps you, squeezing the cold gel onto your belly and moving the small electronic device from side to side.

This is the first time Jungkook has seen an ultrasound live. You hold out your hand, and he squeezes it. Both of you are glued to the screen.

“I’m going to do some measurements of the baby, and would you guys like to know the sex of the baby?”

The two of you look at each other and answer simultaneously, “Yes.”

She chuckles lightly, “Noted.”

She continues clicking her mouse, pointing out the features of your baby. “Here’s the baby’s heart.” She moves the device to a different section of your stomach. “Oh—they’re waving. See their little hand?”

You and Jungkook lean forward, squinting at the screen.

“It’s so tiny,” you pout and look at Jungkook.

“And now she has the hiccups. Can you feel it, mama?”

You both turn to each other. “She?”

“Congratulations, you’re having a little girl.”

Jungkook cups your face and kisses you. He pulls away, smiling and giggling. “Oh man—I’m gonna be outnumbered,” he jokes.

“Good—we’ll put you in your place so you can treat us like queens.”

He grins. “Always.”

Week 37

(Nine Months Pregnant)

“Hubby!”

You hear Jungkook yelling, ‘Yeah’ from the other room.

“I can’t reach the remote!” You tried for 5 minutes before calling out to Jungkook. 

“Be right there!”

“And bring me pickles!”

Typically, you didn’t care about pickles, but this baby girl wanted pickles, specifically from the jar, during this pregnancy.

“‘Kay!”

A few moments later, Jungkook shows up with a jar of pickles and sets it on the nightstand. “You know you can download the TV app on your phone, so that way, you don’t need the remote.”

“Yeah, but that would require me to reach for my phone too.” Which was right next to the remote.

Jungkook shook his head and chuckled, handing you the remote. “How are my girls doing, hmm?” He plopped on the bed, gently laying his head on your belly.

“I need this baby to come out. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this.”

Everything hurts—your back, your neck, your legs. And not to mention, your feet would swell if you didn’t take a walk around the block with Bam. You couldn’t even sleep on your back anymore, and if you accidentally woke up lying on your back, this humongous basketball stomach would ache like no tomorrow.

“Just a few more weeks, then she’ll be here.”

“Don’t you dare get me pregnant again!” you joked.

Now you understand what Yuna and Hyunie went through. Were you a one-and-done type of person? It sounded reasonable right now.

Jungkook propped himself on his elbows. “And what if our baby girl gets lonely? She’ll need a sibling.”

You grabbed the jar of pickles, attempted to open it, and then gave it to Jungkook to do the honors. “Nope—that’s why we have Bamie. He’s great entertainment for all the kiddos,” you reasoned.

Bam looks up when he hears his name but goes right back to ignoring the two of you.

He chuckled. “We’ll reevaluate once we get this whole parenting thing under wraps.”

You groaned after biting into the crisp and juicy pickle. “Nuh-uh,” you mumbled, wiping the juice down your chin. “Having your baby has limited my food options for nine months—that’s too long for me to go without sushi and cold-cut sandwiches.”

“You don’t even like cold-cut sandwiches.” Jungkook narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips at your ridiculousness.

“Yeah—but what if I wanted one? Then I don’t have that option, now do I?”

“I love you, you crazy, beautiful woman.”

“I love you too.”

“Tell you what…”

You’re about to grab another pickle from the jar. “Hmm?”

“I’ll sneak in sushi for your first meal after we have the baby.”

Your eyes widened, and you set the jar back down on the nightstand, then turned back to him. “Don’t let your mom find out. She will riot if my first meal isn’t seaweed soup.”

“I’m sure she’ll be distracted by the baby that she won’t even notice.”

“As long as I get sushi, I’ll be happy.”

“Jeon Jungkook—“ You gripped the sleeve of his shirt. “I’m going to kill you for doing this to me.” You’re delusional, and you’ve been in labor for too long.

Everything happened so quickly that you didn’t even have time to process it. Your water didn’t break like it does in TV shows or films. You woke up in the middle of the night with intense cramps, thinking you pulled a muscle. You hadn’t woken up Jungkook in case it was a false alarm, but after timing your contractions on your app—it was ‘go’ time. When you arrived at the hospital, got checked in, and saw the doctor, you were already 7cm dilated, and there wouldn’t be enough time to get an epidural. So—you were doing this au natural.

He gulps. “You got this—I believe in you.”

You sigh, throwing your head back against the pillow. You’ve been pushing for an hour, and nothing has progressed. Everyone keeps telling you, ‘You’re doing great,’ but you don’t feel like it. Your hair is stuck to your face because you’ve been sweating profusely. All those mom influencers you’ve seen on TikTok and Instagram were all liars. How did they look so cute while giving birth?

“Kook—you have to do this for me. You have to push out this baby. I can’t do it.” You don’t even bother to look at him. Instead, you focus on breathing because you can feel another contraction coming.

Jungkook chuckles lightly and stands, leaning over to kiss your forehead. “You know, if I could do it, I would.”

“I know—I’m—I’m so tired.”

He cups your face. “Just focus on me. On our baby girl, and nothing else. Okay? That’s all that matters right now.”

The doctor looks at the monitor. “Okay, are you ready to push again?”

You’re scared–scared you can’t do this.

And you’ve been through a lot of shit in your life, so you thought you’ve always been tough and could handle anything, and at this point, you were testing your limits.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, mentally telling yourself, ‘You got this.’

“Okay, mama. You have to push as hard as you can.”

You can feel the tension building and know it’s time to do your best. Jungkook is helping you hold your leg back while you hold the other. There’s a burning sensation; everything feels so tight as you push.

“You’re doing great, Mom. I can see the baby’s head.”

Jungkook stops to peer at what the doctor’s seeing. He sucks in his lips. He wants to say something but stops himself.

“Come on–keep going. Keep pushing. Her head is almost out.”

You groan loudly and grip your legs as you push with all your might. And finally, there’s some relief in the tension that was building.

“You did it, mom. The head is out.”

Jungkook looks again. “Oh–this is so weird.” He tilts his head. He’s in awe and bemused by everything pregnancy and labor-related.

“Kook–you’re not helping!”

He clears his throat. “I mean, baby–she’s so beautiful.”

“What does she look like?” you ask, resting quickly against the pillow.

“Really red,” he says, “but she has cute, chubby cheeks.”

“She does?”

He nods and looks back at you.

“Alright, mama. The hardest part is getting the shoulders out, but the rest is a breeze once it's out. You got this.”

You sit up again, holding onto your legs. The doctor rechecks the monitor to assess when the next contraction is coming.

“Let’s have this baby,” she says.

Jungkook lets go of your leg to kiss your cheek and reassure you. “I love you.”

You nod, gripping your legs back further into your chest. And when the doctor says, ‘push,’ you hold back a wail, pushing with everything you have.

The doctor encourages you to keep pushing and says how close she is to almost being out. It seems like the longest few minutes of your life, but when you finally hear the small cry of your baby girl, it’s like you find the missing piece of the puzzle, and it fits perfectly into the big picture.

“Do you want to cut the cord?” The doctor asks Jungkook. He nods in response and takes the scissors, cutting the umbilical cord.

Your baby girl is taken by a few nurses to get cleaned up, and Jungkook turns his attention to you.

“I knew you could do it, baby.” He kisses you before attending to a request of one of the nurses.

Honestly, everything was a blur. From the time you began feeling contractions in the middle of the night until now. It didn’t seem real. It’s almost like a dream. But alas, Jungkook places your baby girl into your arms, and all's right with the world.

Her little hands. Her little nose. Those chubby cheeks. Her pouty little lips. She’s perfect.

Everything you could’ve asked for and more.

“Meet Jeon Iseul,” Jungkook says to his mom.

His mom coos at her granddaughter. ���Oh, my goodness. Look at how precious she is. I must be the luckiest grandma in the world.”

Jungkook passes Iseul to his mom and cradles her as she walks to your bedside. She leans over. “Psst–I brought some sushi for you.” You smile and hold in a giggle. “But first, seaweed soup, then sushi.”

You nod in agreement.

Your mother-in-law sits in a chair nearby, gazing at her granddaughter. Jungkook sits on the bed as you two watch them.

“Pinch me,” Jungkook says.

And you never miss an opportunity to pinch his nipple. He flinches, muttering an ‘ow.’

“You said to pinch you.”

“Yeah, but not there,” he leans closer, “and not in front of my mom.”

You giggle. “Sorry, I can’t help it. You were asking for it.” You scoot closer to Jungkook, wrapping your arm around him, and he reciprocates. “It feels like it took forever to get here, hmm?”

He hums. “Yeah, but it was worth it, right?” He leans in, kissing your forehead. “And goddamn, baby—”

You perk up in confusion.

“I have so much respect for you.”

“What? Why?”

“You pushed out a 7-pound baby and still look so good after it.”

“Shut up. I look and feel gross. I desperately need to shower.”

“No–this is the look of a woman who can do anything. I’d never want to mess with you,” he teases.

“Well, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“We’re in this together, right?”

“Forever and ever,” you say.

Throughout the day, you and your little family had visits from friends. Indie and Hani met their newest little best friend and were obsessed with her, wanting to give her hugs and kisses and pretend to play.

After Mama Jeon made sure you drank your seaweed soup, Jungkook said he’d walk her out and made sure she got to her taxi.

There was a moment of stillness. One you didn’t get to have yet with Iseul. You held her in your arms, scanning over her little features again like you had been doing all day. Her little face was crinkling, forming a frown and then a smile. She squirmed as you lightly stroked her cheek.

As you continued to fawn over your little one, you couldn’t help but think about how much you loved her already. You didn’t even know her personality or what kind of person she’d become, but in your heart, you knew that wouldn’t stop you from wanting to give her the world. Give her everything you didn’t have. Protect her at all costs. Shield her as best as possible and give her the resources, love, and advice to grow up to be anything she wants. You’d do anything for her.

A knock on the door breaks you out of your daze. You look up to see the most unexpected person. Someone you hadn’t seen in a few years. Your mother.

She stands at the door, waiting for you to tell her it’s okay to come in, but you don’t say anything. You’re stunned she’s even here. You cradle Iseul closer to you, wanting to protect her with every ounce of your body.

Your mom clears her throat and holds up a bag. “I, um–I brought you some seaweed soup.”

Now, you’re wondering how she even knew. Maybe Jungkook’s mom was still in contact? You know for sure it wasn’t Jungkook.

You’re silent, unable to form any words. What does she even want from you? To be involved with you and your daughter’s life? And now, of all times?

She walks in, setting the bag of food down on a table. She doesn’t come any closer. You can see her eyeing you, then Iseul.

And again, your first instinct is to protect Iseul from any harm.

“I wanted to come here and apologize.” She looks down at her folded hands, then back at you. “I’ll admit that I wasn’t a good mother nor a nice person to you or your father, and I’m not expecting you to let me into your life or your baby’s–”

“That’s not happening–” you stress, cutting her off.

She purses her lips and nods. “Understood.”

“Anything else?”

She shakes her head no. “I wish you, Jungkook, and the baby all the best.”

Your mother leaves quickly without saying anything else. You feel like an absolute ass, but you need to set boundaries for her and yourself. She made her choice not to be in your life. She doesn’t get to choose when she can come and go as she pleases. That’s not how it works.

Iseul begins to stir. You rock and shush her while in your arms. Tears are welling up, threatening to fall.

“Well, you’re not crying alone if your baby is crying too.”

You look up to see Min Yoongi. You wipe away the tears pooling in the corner and sniffle as he approaches you.

Clearing your throat, you ask, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you in the middle of filming?”

He sets a gift bag in an empty chair before returning his attention to you. “I came to visit my girlfriend, then heard from Taehyung and Hyunie that you had your baby.”

You give him a look. “Girlfriend?”

He smiles, scratching his temple. “Yeah–Minji, your friend. We hit it off at your engagement party.”

You suppress your grin. “Well, thank you for stopping by to say hi to us. I’m glad you didn’t forget about me.”

Yoongi laughs and shakes his head. “I don’t think I could forget you.”

You scan him from head to toe. He carries himself differently. It was weird to see him happy, but you were glad he found someone who made him radiate golden rays of sunshine instead of his Grumpy Grandpa persona.

“Hey baby–sorry, I got caught up with my mom,” Jungkook says as he enters the room. “Oh–hey, Yoongi.”

Yoongi flashes a thin smile and a slight nod. “Well, that’s my cue.”

“No, no, stay,” Jungkook argues.

“I would, but I have to head out. Congratulations. She’s beautiful,” Yoongi remarks, patting Jungkook on the back before closing the door behind him.

Jungkook sits beside you and Iseul. “Did I miss a lot? I wasn’t gone for that long.”

You chuckle lightly. “You missed my mom too.”

His eyes widen and his mouth is wide open in astonishment. “I–are you okay?”

You shrug. “Yeah–better now that you’re here.”

“She didn’t say anything, did she?”

“We won’t worry about that right now,” you say.

All you wanted to focus on was you, Jungkook, Iseul, and the new chapter you’d all encounter together. You understood that parenthood and motherhood would bring new challenges and new fears, but as long as you and Jungkook fiercely loved one another and continued to fight for each other and protect Iseul, that was enough for you.

Your first morning at home as a family. The sun scantily peeking through the curtains, and the light whistling of snores from Jungkook. And, of course, Iseul, the newest addition, sleeping next to you in a bassinet. Bam is always close by, always on guard, ready to protect all of you, especially Iseul.

You were on your side, gazing at the man you loved.

“You’re staring,” he mumbles, his eyes still closed.

“I’m fondly gazing.”

“It’s creepy,” he teases, peeking an eye open.

“I can leave,” you threaten, shifting out from under the covers, but Jungkook pulls you back against his chest.

"Nuh-uh, you're stuck with me, remember?" He kisses your shoulder.

You turn to lie on your back, staring at the ceiling.

"Everything okay?" Jungkook asks, entwining his hand with yours.

You hum, gazing over at him and Iseul, fast asleep. 

It's more than okay.

It's perfect.

This.

You. Him. Iseul. Bam.

Us.

TIU Celebration - podcast episode, character asks, AMA, drabbles

[wobbly-fluggers]

Baby Steps Part 2

Bokuto x Reader

Soulmate/alternate reality au

Summary on first post

Part 1

---

I had more inspiration for this 3rd chapter is already almost done I hope you guys are enjoying this I've been having fun writing it and blurbs about it so that's all that really matters I guess lol

Either way I hope you like this next one! Btw Bokuto is coming very soon just gotta build up I'm planning on having this be a bit drawn out not just with them meeting up but them as a whole their relationship and everything like I said before this is a very self indulgent thing where it's hopefully gonna go over the before after and in between lol

-----

Chapter 2- Paint

"You know, if it hadn't been for Hana, James' wife, I don't think either of us would have transitioned well into this new life. "

You were sitting across from Yamamoto once again. She had painting supplies littered across the coffee table and while you weren't much of a painter you did try using her acrylics to hopefully paint a cityscape. Yamamoto stayed silent, allowing you to share as much as you wanted. Your talking seemed light, almost off handed but she could tell by the way you shifted in your seat that you would soon say more.

"Hana had cancer, that's why James went into the program to hopefully handle the medical bills..." Your face scrunched slightly becoming solemn, "He used to cry a lot at night.. quietly.. alone looking at her picture.. I think he wanted to be by her side.. he really loves her.." you never once looked up from your painting letting out a huff of air when you realize adding green to one of the buildings made it look weird.

"..he almost died once.. he and I were on a mission in France in 'the Gate' and well we were walking in some small country town it was a mission to see if there was any life besides those things.. and well it was real quiet nothing around that's the eerie thing about silence it says a lot more than when it's loud." You scoffed, " We should have known from the silence and vacantness of that town it wasn't safe." Your head shook as you looked up at the Yamamoto, turning serious.

"See there are two types of shadow people, one that acts just like a normal person only they have no face or speech, just empty black figures that pretend to do human-like things but really can't." You explained your voice stern as you moved your body to completely look at the women. "And then there is the 2nd type they're more intelligent than the first bunch which made it worse cause with the intelligence came aggression. And how you knew which type was in which place was if it was empty and silent...they like to lead you into a false sense of security.." You looked back down at your painting grabbing a bottle of indigo paint and putting it on your board of colors.

"We hadn't noticed to caught up in a conversation... He had been telling me about his wife. He got a letter from her that said she was cancer free.. he was over the moon about it.. and well it had been contagious it took my mind off what we were doing.. why we were there..." Your hand started to fidget with the dried paint on your board, shoulders slumped in on yourself as you shook your head in disapproval"If I went back now I would have screamed at my past self I would have told myself for the love of God pay attention... "

Your voice was clipped, your eyes glazed over, tone became monotone and detached as you recalled the memory"But we hadn't been paying attention and they attacked. They came out of nowhere and they attacked at every angle. It was terrifying. We barely survived.. when we finally thought it was over I had set my gun down to sit down and breath but I guess James.. he saw something I hadn't.. " you sucked in a shakybreath fists tightening in your lap, "it happened before I could even blink when his voice yelling my name finally reached my ears he was already on the ground and the thing that almost took my head was lifeless behind me."

Your face remained the same, it was your eyes that haunted Yamamoto, your eyeswere in agony showing just how deeply this moment affectedyou however indifferent you seemed to display. Your eyes were glazed with a tormented look and your what if questions screamed out of your pupils but your face remained the same calm even. Same light deadpanned look.

"I honestly even now couldn't tell you what happened in that second all I can is that James was bleeding out. The intelligent ones could make weapons out of their hands; they didn't try to pretend to be human they only took that form to taunt us... That's why he was bleeding out though it had stabbed him. James isn't a bitch-- sorry-" you shuffled in your seat sitting straighter you coughed eyes closed, "so when I saw him practically screaming in pain, shock taking over his system, blabbering about Hana as he tried desperately to close his wound I couldn't even think. I just ran to him. Dressed his wound best I could and threw him on my shoulders..." You paused in thought, "I guess I was in shock as well.. I didn't even think. I wasn't even thinking. I just knew I had to move or he would die. I mean hell I was injured myself but the thought never crossed my mind...the pain didn't even register..all I could think about was that James was gonna die because of me.."

"Bleed out or get infected were his options if I didn't move" your voice was blunt as you said both outcomes sent a shiver through Yamamoto.

You cleared your throat again"..and neitherone did I want to happen so I just went into action.. carried him over my shoulders like that for two hours. It. was. horrible. He's a big guy and a lot taller than me so it was awkward and I was in shock I wasn't thinking straight I was scared shitless.. " you didn't seem to notice your swear this time your eyes gone as you relived the moment you were describing."..that he would die so it was not an easy journey. Had to take him back to the launch pad we had set up. Thing was he was the one with the pilot training so I would have had to fly the helicopter we had arrived on.. some sort of luck was on his side that day though all things considered cause a rescue team had been dispatched to us." Your tone seemed to change almost thinking something was funny. Your eyes remained cheerless.

"Ha I had been in such a state of shock I had forgotten my walkie and radio and in 'The Gate' they took it very seriously when people didn't respond so they sent a nearby team to investigate." You smiled,"Haha they found 15 year old me carrying James's grown ass on my shoulders- sorry. But uh when James was all stitched up and healed I thought he'd leave to go back to his wife just like Aiko did after her purpose for being there was gone." Your mood seemed to shift. Yamamoto noted that you switched to lighter colors as you thought about your next words. You had been painting in blacks and deep reds beforehand.

"But he didn't.." you breathed out.

"He had talked to her got to have a real one on one after 7 years of just letters. He came back with a bunch of hickeys." You watched Yamamoto shake her head, "But he told me he was staying.. Hana told me one night after dinner when I was helping her with dishes that he didn't wanna leave me behind..."

Your voice became quieter "James is a good guy.. I'm glad he has Hana. She's very nurturing and sweet. She took me shopping for the first time after I was out. I needed clothes couldn't very well wear my dirty uniform everywhere I went and the social worker gave me 4 sizes too big clothes to wear.. but uh she took me to tiny unpopulated stores.. tried to make me feel comfortable..made me try on practically everything in the place though..she wanted me to figure out what I liked.. She took me to a music shop.. bought me my own guitar.. then she took me out to eat. And she talked and talked. I hadn't known what to say at the time. I was overwhelmed by it all being out being surrounded by so many people so many living breathing people all the faces. It was too much. All the people wanting answers and statements and wanting to hear what happened..." You cleared your throat, licked your lips and breathed out. You had begun to ramble recalling the day you shared with Hana and the efforts she put forth for you.

"She was there to come get me when I was taken to the Social Worker's office. I hadn't known what was going on.. they wanted to bring me back to my parents but they couldn't be found," on some bender probably, "and they were going to put me in the system. But then her and James came. I had been there a week, everyone wanted answers.. answers only I could give and I didn't know what to say then I saw them James had come through the door first his familiar face was a godsend at the time.." you smiled like you saw something she didn't.

"It quieted the chatter.." you nodded to yourself confirming your words, "Then she came in with a giant bag filled with paperwork. First thing James said to me when he got over to the chair I sat in all week was about his wife" it was clear from the twinkle in your eye you wanted her to ask.

Indulging she did, "what did James say?"

You repeated in a light hearted tone looking at the ceiling in amusement, "what did he say? He said, 'Stunning right?'..he was head over heels for her.." Yamamoto hummed in agreement you often commented on his love for Hana she noticed.

"He sat down next to me and she was the one to go into the Social Workers office; she and James became my legal guardians that day." Your expression became unreadable voice objective as you spoke about what they did for you. "They signed the paperwork saying they would look over me. They fought for my right to privacy about the matter allowing me to keep my name and face out of the public as they investigated the program, then they fought for my right to the money I earned by being in the program putting that money into my wallet instead of my parents hands. They came and protected me. James started it the first day I met him and Hana loved James, her soulmate, and so she protected me too without even knowing me. Then she took me shopping. I appreciate Hana. She looked out for me when she had no obligation to.. same for James. He stayed." You cleared your throat nodding like there was no other way to interpret it other than that you seemed done with your story as well looking over your nearly done painting for what you should add.

"Do you consider them your parents?" Your neck couldn't have snapped up faster when Yamamoto asked. You coughed awkwardly for a second then looked down. She could see you think about it. Really genuinely think about it.

"That's a big question huh.. I guess I do.. they fill that role better than my biological ones.. James taught me how to read. My father used my picture books to roll blunts.." you were trying to joke but she could tell by your eyes the way they contracted into something almost indescribable to a feeling only felt not discussed as you thought of James and Hana.

Yamamoto decided it was an answer she would learn on another day, deciding to change the subject"Do you live with them now?"

"no I don't.. They helped me find a house they had sat me down after and explained everything to me what everything ment and what my options were going forward. Since I'm going to be 18 soon we decided it'd be best for me to be on my own... They're my neighbors though they live right across from me in my complex... It's like two mini houses that sit across from each other in an enclosed area. So I'm basically living with them on my own, you know?" Each word you said seemed to dig yourself further into question as you thought about the couple that seemed to never not support you. Why

"Do you like living by yourself?" Yamamoto watched your growing thoughts form as she noticed you became more expressive as each session and week went on.

"...it's very quiet. I don't know, it's strange.. Either way if I get lonely I can just head into their house.. " Yamamoto could tell you were done, you said everything you needed to you were completely done, lost in your thoughts. As you were many times since you started seeing her.

"oh it looks like that's up for today." Yamamoto leisurely got up as she smiled lightly at you.

"Already?" You were only slightly jarred from your forming thoughts as she nodded.

Yamamoto smiled,"yes same time next week?" You nodded blindly, zipping up your coat. Only to stop abruptly.

"actually. I um I'll have to come by later I start school next week." You say resignation forming in your entire body as another thought piled onto your mountain of other thoughts.

"Alright why don't you come by after school Thursday?" Yamamoto remedied your thoughts on when your next appointment should be

You nodded as you walked out the door, "see you then" you muttered head down as Yamamoto closed the door, moving your painting to the window to dry for you to collect next time. It wasn't half bad she mused as she cleaned the mess.

You were hardly past the fences that guarded Yamamoto's office door when you bumped into someone. Knocked out of your thoughts. Alarm filled you. You needed to pay attention.

"Oh excuse me.." you took in the girl. She had familiar golden eyes black hair, and greyish white streak- she was bokuto's sister...you saw her. You saw most but not all of her. Is she okay? Why was she going to Yamamoto?

The older girl fidgeted in front of you with a hand on the back of her neck. "Hey.. um are you Y/n L/n?"

You nearly gasped "..yes I am. How do you know my name.." did she know about you and her brother? Did he see you? You didn't feel the other mark form. Could it have happened without you knowing? But when the first one came you felt it...it was a feeling you'd never forget.

"Oh! I'm Himari Bokuto.. Do you know a Kenji Ito?" You're own thoughts completely disappeared, demeanor changing instantaneously as your eyes scrunched in suspicion.

"... Why" you bit out. Only to stop when you noticed her slight flinch. Were you that scary?

"He's my soulmate." Oh.

"Ha."

-----

Hope you guys liked it! This one was kinda fun it's a build up chapter :) but anyway

Have an amazing day!!

[bobokitty]

Brain woke me up too early blegh so get this...whatever this is. A vent?

I don't like doing commissions. I don't like the dynamic they set up between me and the other person. It's a pretty miserable experience for me and makes me hate what I draw. The other person has an idea in their head that I'll never be able to match cuz I can't picture it properly.

That said, I do like drawing for others. Gifts and doodles are totally fine. Things where the other person isn't expecting much or anything at all from me. I'm the only one setting expectations and rules. Much lower stakes for my brain.

[side note: Studio work falls into another category where I'm working with others and there's a pretty clear style and goal that I need to hit. It's also working off someone else's art to start with. My brain is fine with this]

I set up ko-fi to see if I could find a medium between the two (though there has yet to be any takers so zero data exists on the successfulness of it for my brain). Having it timed means you get what you get and no revisions. If there are mistakes then there are mistakes and that's now part of the art. That's the idea at least. Also, the pricing kind of highlights how little people tend to charge for commissions.

$15/h is what you make working fast food where I live. It is not enough to afford rent by yourself anywhere here. I know this from experience. $20/h isn't even enough for solo living here but it's a little easier to get by. Five hours into a piece, and you're already hitting $100 (this is all USD btw, yes I live in the US and can only talk about the cost of living here. Don't come at me about how that amount is different in another country. That should be understood; every country has it's own cost of living). So what then if a piece takes at least two days? Two work days = 16 hours. That's $320. Some artists can calculate this stuff and price accordingly, but there are a LOT of smaller artists who will never be able to charge that much. Is it right to say that they are only worth paying $2/h? (US companies sure think so. They love to outsource work to pay people that little) But if you're a small artist, you can't charge more. You can't ask for fair pay because you're lucky for the few eyes you get. It's shitty. It sucks! I wish I was super wealthy so I could just like, pay all these people idk man I've lost my train of thought.

Imma go back to sleep now. No idea how to end this lol. Congrats if you got this far? 🎉🎉🎉

[phaticserpent]

hello! It's me again. Could you write Ultron with a autistic readwe who also has ADHD? Being self indulgent on this here eve and everytime Ultron comes on screen I think 3 things 1. He's so Fucking pretty! 2. ✨s h i n y✨ 3. I for some reason wanna bite the being made of vibrainium, not a smart idea. So I would like to request Ultron getting reader chewlery, reader then happy stimming because Ultron isn't judging them for having sudden urges to bite and he Fucking UNDERSTANDS THEM. And if what I've requested is already and you don't want to do this next ask (or you do and are just going to make a part 2) in the early stages of them being together (in any sense i.e. Living together, being friends, etc) Ultron would constantly catch reader staring at him and when he finally asked them, read just goes, "oh, your really shiny and nice to look at. Sorry if I was being weird or something." If this is too much to write I completely understand, you don't have to do all of it, if any of it. Hope you have a good day/night

It's no problem, don't apologize! I enjoy the asks!! I'll try my best to not generalize autism/adhd (but note, I will also be taking inspiration from me LOL)

There was a sense of calm but also hyperactivity sharing a house with Ultron. Ever since you two met, you couldn't take your eyes off him. He was just so.....shiny.

And smooth. You always imagined metal to be rather disorganized, rough, and sharp. But Ultron wasn't that. He was living and you just wanted to run your hands to feel him. However, you were too awkward to ask so you just kept it to yourself.

Unbeknownst to you, he was aware of your stares and the way you would gawk at him. He had assumed it was because he was foreign and unordinary; he understood that people typically stare at peculiar things. He didn't mind, so he tries to do everything to keep you comfortable and safe.

Yet, you continued to stare at him with those wide eyes. He couldn't tell if you were fascinated or weirded out, especially with the way you would avert your gaze when he turned to face you. Finally, he confronted you,

"You've been staring at me since the day we met and moved in......I can't really tell if you're uncomfortable or....."

"Oh! No, no, no." You hastily explained. "You're just really shiny and smooth and beautiful.....I just can't help but stare. You're really nice to look at."

"Oh.......oh." He was absolutely bewildered he was regarded in that sense.

You shifted nervously, a little afraid that you made him uncomfortable, but he simply smiled at you softly. You felt a sudden pang of feelings, and your face flushed. "Y-yeah, you're really.....beautiful."

"Thank you." Ultron smiled, but he had to keep himself from exploding from utter joy. He turned his face away, skeptical and afraid that you could see everything he was feeling.

The two of you awkwardly fiddled with your hands, trying to act normal. And ever since then, you started opening up more. He enjoyed your company and personality; it brought him a lot of relief and energy to see you so happy.

He caught onto the small bits: how you loved thunderstorms during the summer, and how you could stay for hours staring out the window. How you would often fiddle with your silver ring, even take it off your finger to stare at it and clean it so it would be extra shiny. He caught onto the signs without you realizing it.

Until one day, he was busy lost in thought and you took his chance to cure your curiosity and urges. You slipped behind him, testing his systems and waving a hand around him cautiously. A little scared, you rested your chin on his shoulder before you stared down at the metal. It was so smooth and shiny.....

So you bit onto it. Ultron briefly paused his thoughts and turned to look at you. You immediately let go, and pretended to clean it with your sleeves.

"Heh, it was a little dirty." You sheepishly excused.

"....you like to stim with metal." He pointed out. Your eyes widened in shock. "I think it's cool and honestly, you're completely valid for that. Metal is fun to play with and it's shiny."

".....you're not mad?"

"Why would I be?"

"Cause I bit you?"

"I really don't mind, I was just caught off guard, that's all." Ultron smiled. "I think you're cute."

There was a pause when he realized what he said.

"O-oh! I meant 'it', I think it's cute!"

"Mhm," you raised your brow at him, while Ultron merely averted his gaze from you. Truth be told, he was relying on you to take advantage of his distraction to see if you would actually bite him.

He had been working on something for you, a customized metal chewlery. Though, he wasn't entirely sure if you would like it. So when he finished it, he was hesitant to present it to you.

One evening, he took the perfect opportunity to give you the gift.

"Uh....hey, I wanted to give you something."

"Hm? You shouldn't have!" You exclaimed. "What's the occasion?"

"No occasion." Ultron fiddled sheepishly as you opened the box. He wanted to see your reaction, but he was scared you were going to be disappointed. He heard you gasp and cry out.

"This is the best thing I've ever gotten!" You shouted. "You're awesome, thank you!"

"You like it?" Ultron stared at you, bewildered.

"I love it!" You threw your arms around him. Once pulling away, you stared at the accessory more. It was smooth and really shiny. Each bead was different, differently shaped and differently colored.

"I'll try to explain it quickly..... I had to experiment with a lot of metal and see which one is both edible and durable. Each metal is a different subspecies of the one I experimented with. To keep your stim happy and occupied, I made sure each one is different to color and taste."

"I can't stress this enough, you're awesome!" You smiled. "I can't believe you went through that much to make me something like this. It means a lot!"

"Of course!" Ultron smiled at you.

"Are you scared that I might make dents?"

Ultron chuckled, "that's a small part of it."

Everytime he watched you nibble on the accessory, he becomes ecstatic and happy to see you enjoy something he made.

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Hey there! So, I've got three different ideas for your Tony x sister!reader series and maybe, just maybe, you like one of them. :D

1. It's the wedding of Steve and reader. Tony visits his sister in the wardrobe where she's getting ready. Maybe one last try to get her to change her mind although she assured him nothing is going to change between them. She looks absolutely ravishing in her wedding dress and he has her bent over her vanity table before he walks her down the aisle to Steve with his cum running down her legs.👀

2. How it started between them as teens. She's a minx and tries to tease him the whole time until he finally breaks and takes her virginity.

3. Reader has some spare time and calls her brother to initiate phone sex not knowing that he's currently in his suit flying back from a mission. Let's say Tony is creaming some very expensive pants here.

Anyway, creativity (and a dirty mind lol) ran wild here but maybe there‘s something for you here.🫶🏻

Sneak Peek below ⬇️😁😁 oh my god i haven't been this excited to post something in a long time but when you sent this ask i may have squealed just a little bit 😂

This is just for the first part of your request. I will be doing separate parts for 2 & 3 as well 😁

Communication between you and Tony was. . . shakey at the moment. The both of you being stubborn, neither broke to talk to the other. Not since you told him about being pregnant and choosing Steve. He was still angry with you.

If he was going to act like a petulant child, you were not going to be the one to indulge him. You didn't make the effort to reach out. Perhaps putting some distance between you and Tony would be a good thing. And it was. You were able to be happy about your pregnancy. A couple of weeks later and Steve surprised you by asking you to marry him. He wanted you to have his last name before the baby was born.

You did the basic things that new mothers and brides to be did. You were already shopping for all the necessities a baby needs to thrive. Then Natasha helped you decide on a wedding gown and would go to cake tastings with you.

There were people available to take up the gaping spot that Tony left in you.

But nothing felt right.

Not without Tony by your side. You wanted to eat cake with him. Bicker about cheesy djs and seating arrangements. You'd find funny wedding videos and nearly send them to Tony before you remembered.

“That baby inside of you that you think belongs to the perfect Captain America could be MINE!”

It was enough to make you angry with him once again. How could he say something like that to you? You were terrified enough as it was when the same thought dawned on you.

And no matter how much you debated sending Tony and Pepper an invitation, you still went through with mailing the letter that you had crafted yourself.

You didn't think Tony would show up. But there he was.

He always cut a nice figure in a suit. Handsome with his hair perfectly styled and beard trimmed impeccably. His features were tarnished by the dark circles that plague under his eyes. The expanse of his face brightens though when his gaze takes in you in your white wedding dress.

You can feel your heartbeat travel up your throat, inviting him in with a quick gesture of your head.

Door closed, your fingers anxiously spin the engagement ring around your finger. "Hey. I didn't think you'd actually come."

He scoffs, finally removing his attention from you to look around the small room of the church that was your temporary wardrobe room. "Like Pepper would let me miss it." Tony mumbles. "Or any other of our friends. Those we have left. . ."

Many seats out there were empty. Place cards carefully placed in the designated spot where your friends should be. Wanda. Bucky. Sam.

Guilt starts to seep into your hardened resolve. Why ostracize the few people you have left? So many were taken from Thanos. You used to think yourself lucky that your brother was not taken.

"I'm. . . actually happy you're here." Difficult to verbally get out how much you really missed him, instead you look up at him under your lacquered eyelashes. Your makeup wasn't perfect. Wanda would have been able to perfect it with her powers if she were there.

Tony's face doesn't change but he whispers "You're beautiful by the way. In the dress." He points at said gown. "Very beautiful."

Damning yourself when warmth spreads across your cheeks and a smile threatens to curl your lips up. You couldn't help it. Narcissism ran in your blood and you always loved when Tony complimented you. "Thanks. It's supposed to look like mom's. Or, as close as possible. I always wanted to wear her wedding dress when I was little. The pictures I saw of her in it were stunning."

"Too bad they didn't save it." Tony smiles.

"Yeah. Guess it's alright. I stopped thinking I would get married anyway when I was seventeen." You admit.

You're not the only one to suck in a sharp breath. Seventeen. That's when you first dared to kiss Tony. The day you absolutely damned both of you. You can see the same thought worming its way through Tony's mind too.

"Tony-"

When his name slips past your lips, Tony advances toward you a broken man. "Don't do it. Please, don't marry him."

If your hair weren't done in extravagant waves, you would have run your hand through it in agitation like you usually do. You couldn't do this again with him. Especially when you were getting married in the following hour. "Tony-"

He grabs your hand, reeling you in closer to his body. Your heart betrays your mind by how it spasms from his simple touch. Harsh calluses on his fingers from decades of working with tools and machinery press against the softness of your wrist. Tony's eyes are glued to your face before traveling to your dress. His adam's apple visibly bobs. Finally landing on your midsection. Dropping one of your hands, his free one hovers over your abdomen.

"We can run away." Tony quietly suggests. "The three of us."

"I'm not running away, Tony." You insist.

Sharply inhaling, Tony pushes himself away from you. He takes to impatiently passing around the small room. You quietly watch him, wondering what he'd do next. Your hands rub at your stomach, feeling sick again.

[hyperfixatingmenever]

Today's Nightmare & Tomorrow's Daydreams | Part 2/2 | 8.5 K | Mature

Title: Today's Nightmare & Tomorrow's Daydreams 

Fandom: Triple Frontier  

Pairing: Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales/ Reader

Rating: Mature 

Word Count: 8.5K

Cross-posted on Ao3 here

A/N: I wrote part 1 (which I'd recommend reading first) for @theassbuttchronicles back in 2021, but I also wrote a dream that didn't make the final cut, which broke my heart because it was actually the first thing I wrote for the fic. BUT three years later, I've finally finished the fic! I hope everyone can enjoy it, but more importantly, experience the emotional turmoil of the dream with me! lol

"Son of a bitch!"

A sharp, stinging feeling shot through Frankie's hand; he had sliced it open while working on one of the helos he flew for instructing. The cut on Frankie's hand didn't feel like an emergency, but considering he knew you were working, and he cut it on metal, he thought, two birds, one stone. While holding pressure on his hand, he glanced around, looking for some type of fabric to help with the bleeding. The only thing within reach was his dirty, greasy hand rag. He rolled his eyes, knowing the lecture that was in store for him when you saw him. Accepting his fate, he wrapped his hand and headed over to the base clinic.

As he walked into the ER, he saw you busy working, bouncing between helping patients and other staff. He saw you smile and laugh with a fellow army medic. Your smile could light up his darkest days, and it had before. Without knowing, Frankie started to smile, feeling your warmth from across the room.

Out of his daze, he walked up to the registration desk. The sitting area was nearly empty, with only a couple of people since it was already late in the afternoon.

"Hi, Francisco Morales, 75-585-468."

"Frankie! What are you doing here?"

Picking up his head, he looks into your piercing eyes as you walk towards him. He lifted his hands clasped together, showing his poorly wrapped hand.

"Oh Jesus"

Leaning forward, you tell the nurse at the registration desk to not worry about it, ‘I'll take care of him.’

Blush starts to rise a little in his cheeks, but he looks down and hides his face under his favourite 'standard heating oil' cap.

"Come on, Frankie, follow me," motioning to follow you down the hallway to a more private room.

"Okay, let me take a look at it."

Taking a deep breath, Frankie releases the pressure and shows you his hand.

"Jesus, Frankie, is this a dirty rag?"

"I couldn't find anything else!"

He waited for you to give him shit, but he saw you take a deep breath and say, "I'm just happy you're okay. I worry about you."

As you cleaned out the wound, you also ordered a tetanus shot and eventually gave him a couple of butterfly stitches.

"You know there are mechanics on base. It's literally their job to keep all the machinery running. Why are you doing repairs to your own helo?"

"Because I know more than most of those idiots! I don't want to be in deep water just because one of those hijos de puta tontos forgot to do something. If I'm going to take 33,000 pounds of metal up into the sky, I sure as hell want to know it's up to snuff."

He can feel the crease in between his eyebrows as he starts to get angry, but that soon melts away as you jokingly massage it with your pointer finger.

“Well, look at you! Flying and fixing, how did you become a jack of all trades?" You softly chuckled.

“Well, my Abuelo could fix anything, but he loved fixing cars and planes in particular. With my mom always busy at work, I spent most of my time with him in the garage, or we would drive to a hangar and fix up a plane. I started out by just handing him tools, but eventually, I learned everything he knew, and I started helping him when I got older."

"Awe, I bet baby Frankie was cute! All covered in grease."

"Are you saying I'm not cute now?" Frankie says in a teasing tone, even though some part of him is completely serious. He wanted even a small piece of hope that could show that you cared about him the same way he cared about you.

He sees you roll your eyes as you start to bandage his hand.

"You know I’m not always going to be here to help with your cuts and bruises, right?"

"But I don’t know what I'd do without my favourite medic," Frankie shoots back, giving his go-to smirk — trying to cover up the hurt around the idea of you somehow not being in his life anymore.

The two of you talk as you continue to wrap his hand. Talk about Rebecca and that horrendous date. In the small silence, Frankie lets slip. "She just wasn't the one.”

Honestly, he knew that even before the date because 'the one' for him was carefully bandaging his hand. The one who worried about him. The one who took care of him. The one standing in front of him.

You finally break the silence, showing that you've finished with his hand. He thanked you, and you both walked toward the nurses’ station. Frankie thinks about how easy it would be to hold your hand as your fingers innocently brushed up against each other while walking. Instead, he just keeps walking down the hall as you stop at the nurse's station.

Stopping in his tracks, he remembers movie night and turns back towards you.

"HEY, MI CIELO! Don't forget movie night at my place on Friday!"

Frankie can't help but smile while leaving, thinking about you and your threat of physical violence toward Benny. Man, he couldn't wait for Friday night.

-----

"What do you mean you're not coming!"

"Allison finally agreed to let me take her on a date, but she's only free tonight."

"Wait, who's Allison? Is she the one with red hair or the one who never stops showing pictures of her hikes?"

"Neither"

"Pope, I can't keep up with you," he rubbed his face and groaned as he continued to push the cart with his elbows. "You can't cancel Pope! Will and Benny both canceled this morning! If you don't come, it will just be Cielo and me!"

"Maybe that's for the best'' Santi's playful tone came from the other side of the phone.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He retorts gruffly, already done with his best friend’s shit.

"You and I both know you’ve been dancing around your feelings for her since day one; maybe you should buck up and make a move Hermano."

"I can't! What if she doesn't feel the same way? I can't lose my best friend."

"Best friend? I'm hurt, Hermano. I thought what we had was special."

Frankie can imagine Santi dramatically clutching his heart. "You know what I mean," rolling his eyes at this whole conversion.

"Well, I still can't come. So I hope you two have a good time. I'll talk to you later. Good luck!"

And before Frankie could respond, Santi had hung up on him.

Frankie puts his phone in his back pocket as he continues to wander the aisles. He looked down at his cart full of groceries, snacks, and drinks. Even though it was now just the two of you tonight, the amount of food he got could feed a small army.

As Frankie heads towards the till, he's distracted by the flower section. He couldn't buy you flowers, right? Unless? No. It was already going to be weird, just the two of you; the last thing he wanted to do was ever make you feel uncomfortable. As Frankie lost himself in thought, an older man came up beside him and said, "She must be a special girl."

Tongue-tied, Frankie didn't know what to say. She was a special girl, but she was more than that. She also wasn't his girl. He didn't know what to do.

"My Winifred's favourite was tulips."

He reached down and grabbed a small thing of pink tulips. Giving them a light shake as he took them out of the water.

"It never hurts to surprise them with flowers, make them feel appreciated. They do so much for us, always caring for us."

He was right; even though he and Cielo weren't together, they always took care of each other.

Giving Frankie a small clap on his bicep, "And don't forget to always cherish her."

Frankie gave a small smile and nodded as the old man walked away. Frankie looked at the flowers for another second before picking up some sunflowers and continuing towards the till.

-----

The day slowly progressed; he put everything away and placed the sunflowers in water on the kitchen table. He wouldn't give them to you, but they reminded him of your smile. He made fresh popcorn with butter before running off upstairs to change.

"FRANKIE?"

Hearing you call his name while walking into his house always felt like a dream. He could imagine you walking into the home you shared together, calling his name, declaring your arrival. He would hug you and pepper you with kisses as you came home.

The night that this felt closest to the truth was one random Tuesday. It was the first time you didn't bother knocking; you just walked in… to his home. You walked in, grabbed a beer, and landed on the couch; he eventually brought you a plate of food and shared dumb stories about his students. As you threw your head back laughing, Frankie knew at that exact moment that he wanted to do this for the rest of his life.

But in reality, he never made any of his friends knock. It was well known his door was never locked, and you could just waltz in, but you were different.

"Up here! Coming!" Frankie rushes down the stairs to greet you, still rearranging the clothes on his body.

-----

Surprisingly you hadn't picked 'The Princess Bride,’ which he knew was your favourite movie. He'd never tell anyone this, but when he was having a dark day or missed you, he would watch 'The Princess Bride’ and think of you.

The both of you had watched 'Wonder Woman' and then put on 'Prospect,’ but as the night started to fall, Frankie's eyelids did as well.

-Dream-

Images of Cielo flashed through Frankie's mind. He couldn't help but smile. Cielo was the one good constant in Frankie's life; when things became too much, he always knew you would be there for him. But his lovely, warm memories of you were quickly distorted and changed into what he could only describe as a nightmare.

"Guys, this is Aaron. Aaron, these are the guys, Will, Benny, Santiago, and Frankie."

Aaron’s arm casually around your waist drove Frankie crazy; he could feel his jaw tightening. Thinking that it should be his arm around your waist, his shoulder you lean your tired head against, and finally, you should be leaving in his truck instead of some fucking Prius. Frankie saw a flurry of snapshots and nightmarish memories of Aaron and your life together. Starting with a simple date where Aaron reaches over and squeezes your hand, and you look at him with so much love and potential.

"That should be me she's looking at like that," Frankie thought, but as soon as it started, new images flashed in front of Frankie, Aaron holding you as you cry, movie nights with just Aaron and you. The last one making Frankie physically wince, Aaron rolling off of you, both of you breathless,

"That was incredible," you say while still trying to catch your breath, looking over at Aaron, propping yourself up on one of your elbows before leaning down and mumbling against his lip, "I love you."

Frankie didn't think it could get any worse; he was wrong.

"We're getting married!" You shriek as you wrap your arms around Aaron’s torso. Benny was the first to offer congratulations, hugging you and picking you up off the ground. But while Will was walking towards you to give his congratulations, Frankie was stuck. He didn't understand, how could you be marrying this guy? His eyes unfocused, and stared off into the distance. His head started to race, but before he could completely spiral, he felt a large wack on his shoulder.

Santi leans in and whispers in his ear, "Come on, Hermano, you’ve got to get it together and go congratulate her." Frankie knew he was right; he came out of his daze, walked forward, and wrapped his arms around you. He put his face in the crook of your neck and inhaled your scent like it was the last time.

Pulling back slightly, "Congratulations, Cielo."

Frankie started to feel uneasy; his stomach began to tie in knots. Suddenly, Frankie was in his tactical gear in the middle of the jungle; he didn't know what he was doing here? He was no longer on active duty; his current job was to teach new pilots how to control a helicopter under extreme conditions. It had been years since he was in full tactical.

It felt heavier than usual… without explicitly knowing that there was a picture in his breast pocket, he took it out and realized why he felt heavier. Tears started to well in his eyes; he turned the picture over and read, "30 weeks. Come home safe, Frankie. This baby needs to meet their godfather."

Silently, Frankie started to cry. Crying over the fact that you were pregnant, that the baby wasn't his, but also over the reality of how happy you were. Happy without him. Frankie turned the picture over and started to caress your face and your bump carefully. Frankie loved you with every ounce of himself, and he would choose your happiness over his every single time. He knew there was nothing for him to do; it was too late to confess his love, but he also knew that he wanted to be in your life, and this baby’s, in any capacity he could, and if "godfather" was his role then so be it.

Suddenly there was loud banging in the distance, gunfire? Frankie's breathing hitched, and then, like some sort of glitch, the picture was no longer in his hands but a gun and the photo on the muddy ground. Frankie bent down to pick up the picture of you, but out of nowhere, he was tackled.

"Estúpido hijo de puta! What the hell were you thinking, Frankie? We're being shot at, and you're just standing there like target practice?!" Santi kept his voice quiet, but that didn't mean he wasn't yelling at Frankie.

"What the fuck are we doing here?" Frankie says, completely confused.

"You need to get your head out of the Sky and help me eliminate this last guy shooting at us so we can go home."

Frankie nods; he will do whatever it takes to get back to you.

"Okay, you go left. I’ll go right. They seem to be following us, so maybe we can surprise them from behind."

Frankie follows Pope's instructions and gives a wide berth to the left in hopes of trapping and surprising the person after the two of them. Frankie slowly crept through the jungle, keeping the end of his gun butted against his shoulder and his eyes keeping track of Pope through glimpses in the foliage. Frankie saw the person after them; he stopped and made eye contact with Pope. Pope gave a small nod. Frankie raised his gun and shot twice in center mass. The body crumpled. Frankie and Pope stalked towards the body. Frankie looked around the body for the gun, but there was none?

Frankie turns over the body… shock hits Frankie's entire body like a wave crashing over him. What had he done, what had he done! He dropped to his knees and cradled your body; Frankie’s gloved hand moved some stray hairs from your face. "Mi Cielo, what are you doing here? Baby, why are you here?" He starts to rock your body and cries, "I'm so sorry, so so sorry. I love you. I love you so much. Come back to me". Frankie feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks up as Pope looks down at him. "This is your fault, Frankie, she's here because you never told her." As soon as he hears that, he can't speak, he can't move, everything is heavy, this is his fault. Suddenly BANG!

-End Of Dream-

Frankie jumped up from the couch in a terrible panic, trying to comprehend what was happening. His eyes dart around the room; he sees a broken plate on the floor and sees you step toward him. Scared of hurting you, he takes a step back. You're trying to talk to him, but it's all garbled; he can't make anything out. Violently, he shakes his head, hoping that everything will go back to normal. Finally, your sweet voice comes to him.

"Frankie, everything is okay, you're safe, I'm right here,"

As he looks down at his hand, he can see the blood that was there as he held your lifeless body in the jungle. Words tumble from his mouth. Part of him knows he doesn't make any sense, but all he knows is he has to keep you safe. Keeping you safe is all he cares about, and to keep you safe, he had to get away from you.

"I need you to stay back!"

Frankie ran into the nearest room and locked the door. He can hear you running after him, but as he slides down against the bathroom wall, everything feels like it's closing in on him. He can feel himself starting to hyperventilate, but the more he focuses on his breathing, the more he panics that he can't get it under control. He can feel himself spiraling; he's shaking, crying, hell, he can't even breathe right, but seconds before he feels like he's going to pass out, he hears you humming.

Humming a sweet melody, he doesn't know the song, but it makes him feel safe. You always make him feel safe. As he focuses on your humming, unconsciously, his breathing starts to even out, and he wipes away some tears. Frankie tended to feel nothing or everything after an attack like this. His hands were still shaking a bit, but when he focused on you, he felt better.

“Frankie? I'm going to go clean up the plate. Just call if you need me. I’ll be right back, okay?”

God, her tone was so sweet, which only made this hurt more. This was just supposed to be a typical movie night so she could get her mind off work, but he had to ruin everything, like always. All he wanted to do was go out and act as if nothing had happened, but he couldn't look into your eyes. He didn't want to show you how broken he was.

Frankie was unsure how much time had passed, but then you finally spoke, “You need to let me in, Frankie...please.”

That broke something inside of him. Hearing your plea, realizing how much this was hurting you, he never wanted to hurt you. That’s why he ran. He didn't want to be the reason to hear such hurt in your voice, but as he reached for the doorknob, his mind betrayed him.

“You don't deserve her. You'll always hurt her. She was happier with Aaron. You could never make her happy.”

As if these words caused him physical harm, he winced and pulled his hand back. His head is low as he took a deep breath, trying to hush these thoughts "...I don't want you to see me like this…"

She says something that makes Frankie chuckle, but before she can continue, he reaches for the doorknob again. He stands and slowly opens the door, revealing him behind. You take his non-bandaged hand in yours and, with your other, wipe the tears that still must be rolling down his cheeks. Your hands are so soft; he never wants to forget your touch. Gently, you pulled Frankie into a hug, wrapping his arms around your torso tightly; he stuck his nose in the crook of your neck. Frankie had never felt safer than in your arms, your fingers tangling in his hair as you rubbed circles on his back.

Eventually, Frankie starts to let go but only far enough to rest his forehead on yours; he stares into your eyes; his eyes then fall to your lips. Trying to alleviate any of the tension that was in the air, the first thing Frankie thought of slipped through his lips. "So, is this where we kiss?"

As soon as it leaves his lips, he wants to take it back.

Quickly changing the subject, you ask, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Frankie can’t even begin to explain how much he doesn't want to do that. Honestly would rather do anything because the only thing that could make this night worse was seeing pity in your eyes. “Can we just talk about anything else other than that?”

What Frankie wasn't expecting was your reply. “Sure.”

As you lead him to the couch and sit down, he lays his head on your lap without even thinking, only knowing that he needs to be close to you, touching you. You talk about everything that comes to mind. As you talk, he can feel you play with his hair. He closes his eyes and enjoys as your nails gently brush across his scalp.

"Frankie, why do you call me Mi Cielo? I know it means 'my sky,’ but I don't understand why you would call me that? I asked Santi in the past, but he just laughed and rolled his eyes at me."

Frankie groans. The only thing worse than you asking this question is you asking Santi first. Unable to look you in the eyes, Frankie explains his name for you, making sure to keep out a couple of details.

-Flashback-

“How about Mi Cielo?”

The rest of the guys give each other side glances before all bursting into laughter.

Santi, still laughing, said, “You can call her whatever you want. When it's just the two of you in bed.” Giving you a large smirk, “But we need a name we all can use.”

Frankie throws one of Santi’s many throw pillows that cover his couch at him. “Fuck you! It's not like that!”

Benny was now getting in on the teasing. “Oh, then what is it like?”

“We’re just friends! Just like the rest of us!” Frankie gestures to the three guys sitting around him.

While sipping his beer, Will quietly adds, “Man, I hope you don't look at us like that while our backs are turned.”

Frankie’s head whips towards Will, but Will’s comment has already sent the other two men back into hysterics. Frankie can feel his cheeks starting to get hot, so he gets up and grabs another beer from the fridge. Frankie throws back the bit he has left before opening the new one.

Santi walks in and grabs the new beer out of Frankie’s hand before he can drink it and takes a sip. “You know we’re just kidding, right?

Frankie glares at Santi as he turns around and grabs another beer.

“You're our brother; we’re going to give you shit, It's inevitable, but we do want you to be happy. She makes you happy, and even though you can't see it, you make her happy.”

Frankie waves off his comment as he takes a sip of his new beer.

“I’m serious! I wish you two idiotas could see yourselves. You guys have already wasted what? Seven years? I know you guys weren't in a good place when you first met.”

Pope was alluding to the coke. Frankie was now clean, three years sober. It was still a daily struggle, but there was no part of him that ever wanted you to see him like that again.

“But what I'm getting at is that you both have grown. You lean on each other. Hell, didn't you once meet her family?”

“Yeah…”

“Exactly! Now you've just gotta make a move! Because I don't know how many more barbeques I can take where you’re both looking at each other longingly when the other isn't looking.”

Frankie takes another sip. “I don't know, Hermano. I know I love her.” Frankie realizes this is the first time he has said it out loud, partially wide-eyed. He continues, “I want to be with her, but if she says no...I don't know what I’ll do. Part of me is happy with her just in my life, even just as friends.”

Frankie leans against the island with his elbows and rubs his face with his hands. “I don't know what I’d do without her, Pope.”

Santi claps him on the back. “I know, Hermano.”

There was a few seconds of silence before Benny yelled loud enough for Frankie and Santi to hear in the kitchen. “Maybe I’ll ask her out! How do you say it again? Pre-ci-ooo-sa?” (Frankie didn't even know you could butcher Spanish that badly)

Shaking their heads, Santi and Frankie both simultaneously say, “Maldito gringo”

-End Of Flashback-

When Frankie finished his explanation of your nickname, he saw you start to stare off. Thankfully, you were too preoccupied zoning out and playing with Frankie’s hair to see the red tint that slowly crept up his face. Frankie enjoyed the soft touches of your fingers intertwined within his messy curls, wishing he could stay like this forever. But you somehow caught him stifling a yawn. "Let’s get you to bed.”

Frankie was incredibly thankful you agreed to stay; he didn't know what he'd do if he had another nightmare like before. Hearing your steady heartbeat and even breathing kept him calm, but as he lost himself in the rhythm, that's when he heard — your confession. Frankie doesn't move; he’s got to be dreaming, right? His brain is playing a trick on him. You could never love him; he’s just a broken man. As his brain tries to process your confession, he can feel your breathing get shallower; you’ve fallen asleep. He lifts his head, looks at your peaceful face, and thinks, “I love you too, Mi Celio.” He places his head back on your chest and immediately falls asleep.

-----

This was the best sleep Frankie had had in years; he could imagine the rest of his life sleeping right beside you. In between conscious and unconsciousness, Frankie reaches out for you to pull you back toward his body, but all he feels is empty sheets. His eyes instantly open as he sits up to scan the empty bed and the empty room.

Where could you have gone? Could you have just left him in the middle of the night? Before heartbreak overtakes him, he sees the light coming out from under the bathroom door; he throws off the blankets, runs over to the door, and tosses it open. Your eyes meet as the bathroom door swings open; you’re at the sink washing your hands.

Seeing your eyes makes everything better. You didn't leave; you stayed; it wasn't a dream; you did love him. He leans into your hand, and everything feels better.

Frankie opens his eyes and asks, “Are you hungry?”

-----

“Can we talk about you kissing me?”

He could have been more delicate, but he was thinking hard about what to say. The words just tumbled from his mouth as he looked at you across the kitchen.

Seeing you start to backpedal made a small part of his mind doubt what he knew. But his love for you won out. He knew how you felt, and he knew he loved you, and he told you just that.

“I love you too.”

-----

The next couple of hours felt like a dream. You both confessed your love for each other, he finally got to kiss you (and taste you), and he got to worship your body as you deserved. After he rolled off of you, both of you still breathless, you turned your head towards him and said: "That was incredible… that was beyond incredible."

Frankie gave a goofy smile to himself, proud to have satisfied you better than your imaginary boyfriend he made up. But just like in his dream, you propped yourself up, leaned down, and mumbled against his lip, "I love you."

Frankie took further care of you, wiping you down with a warm face cloth and gently reminding you to pee. As he laid in bed waiting for you, he knew he wanted to take care of you for as long as you'd have him. He wanted this for the rest of his life: you taking care of each other. When you crawl back into bed, he wraps his arms around you, wanting you as close as possible, and the both of you fall peacefully asleep tangled together.

-----

Frankie woke up the best way he could ever imagine, with you leaning over him, slowly kissing his face. A smile on his face grew, and he greeted you, "Good morning." And with your warm smile matching his, you greet him as well. "Morning, Frankie."

He pulled you in with his bandaged hand to continue this kiss. After a minute or two, you pull back, Frankie’s lips pursed forward, wanting more, but you stopped to say something. "Oh, by the way, Santi stopped by and wanted to gossip with you, but I told him you were busy."

"Oh, am I?" Frankie said, completely joking. At this moment, he couldn’t care less about Santi. The only person he cared about at this moment was in his arms with the most addicting lips.

"Yes, extremely busy," her lips attached to Frankies. Their lips fought for dominance, but Frankie won when he flipped the both of you, so he was on top. With a small gasp, your mouth opened, and he used this to his advantage. As Frankie's hands traveled down your body and got to the bottom of your shirt, he realized something was different; this didn't feel like the shirt you had been wearing earlier this morning. He broke the long kiss between you two, both of you already breathless, and he looked down.

"Is that my shirt?”

“Yeah, I borrowed it. Is that okay?” He can tell you're a little nervous.

“Yeah, I…you just look good in it… really fucking good”. Trying to keep his feelings in check. He couldn't tell if he wanted you to only wear his shirts from now on or if he wanted to rip it off your body so he could worship every inch of you all over again.

“You should see how good I look out of it,” you say with a wink.

Option two, he thought, definitely option two.

-----

Frankie woke up with your hair tickling his nose, but this only brought a smile to his face when he realized you were here and he wasn't dreaming. Frankie carefully propped himself up and gazed upon your face. He lightly pushed the stray hairs out of your face, pressing a light kiss on your temple. Then, he caressed your face, neck, and shoulder with the back of his fingers. Still asleep, you shifted your body, rolling on your back, seeking his warmth. Frankie's smile only grew as he watched your naked body search for his. Frankie kisses you once again before covering you up with the rest of the blankets, hoping that would stall your search for his body heat. Pulling on a pair of sweatpants, he makes his way to the kitchen to once again try and cook a meal. However, the terrible mess in the kitchen looked like it was going to take priority. After throwing away the cold starts of avocado toast, Frankie decides on something simple in case he gets interrupted (his stomach growls in agreement). Not that he'd be complaining; the both of you happily ate the cold takeout that you had ordered before falling back to sleep from exhaustion. He would eat cold food the rest of his life if it meant he could enjoy every noise, moan, and pleasure-filled eye roll you made as he worshipped you like it was his last time.

Frankie quickly whipped up some sandwiches, grabbed a bag of chips and a couple cans of pop (deciding it was late enough in the day for pop but not late enough for a beer). Looking at everything before him, he realized he didn't have one of those trays everyone in the movie seemed to have, mentally adding that to a list of things to buy if you were going to be staying over more. He hoped you would be staying over more. Deciding that they would be sharing a plate (one less thing to carry … and potentially drop,) he moves all the sandwiches onto one plate, puts the bag of chips under his arm, and puts a can in each pocket of his sweatpants, which are pulling them dangerously low, but he didn't have to go far. But before leaving the kitchen, Frankie looked over to his table, which seemed to be brighter from the bouquet of sunflowers he bought the day before. With his one free hand, he grabs a single sunflower and heads back to the bedroom. Opening the door slowly, he sees you cuddled up in the pile of blankets he left you in. Frankie walks over to his side of the bed, places everything on the floor, then cuddles into you. He kisses up your jaw, pressing his nose into your soft skin, tickling you with his scruff. He tries to wake you up with a sing-songy voice.

"Come on Mi Cielo. Waaaake up. I've got a suuuuupriiiiise for yooou"

Only groaning your response

"Come on baby, wake up." Really trying to wake you with his scratchy scruff rubbing up against your face.

"Okay, okay, stop it. I'm up!" Grabbing the sides of his face and pushing him away.

Frankie laughs as you groan, sitting up and leaning against his bed frame.

"Okay, what's the surprise?"

"Close your eyes."

You squint your eyes, suspicious of Frankie, but you both know you trust Frankie with your life. Closing your eyes, you wiggle to make yourself more comfortable against the bed frame.

"Okay, open'em!"

Frankie sees the genuine surprise on your face. "It's nothing fancy, but I-"

Covering his mouth with both of your hands, you interrupt him. "Frankie. This is perfect. Thank you." Releasing his lips, you pull him in and kiss him. Both of you break the kiss rather quickly, knowing if you don't stop, it will be another forgotten meal.

Frankie saw you look at the sunflower on the plate's rim before delicately picking it up and gently tracing the petals with your finger. Internally, Frankie debated whether to tell you the meaning behind the sunflower, but as he saw your soft smile only grow, he simply couldn't hold it in any longer.

“It reminds me of your smile!”

Both you and Frankie are suddenly startled by Frankie's unusually loud declaration. Cocking your eyebrow in confusion, you look at Frankie in hopes of an explanation.

“I - uh, when I was at the grocery store getting food for movie night, I walked past the flower section, and when I saw the sunflower, I couldn't help but think of you… and your smile.” Frankie didn't think he had anything else to say, but he just couldn't stop. “I met this old man, and he told me about his wife and how she liked tulips, and all I could think about was us at that age. What we'd be like. But then I saw this sadness in his eyes, and even though he didn't say anything, I could tell how much he missed her. And all I could think of was how much more I'd miss you if we were that age, and I still hadn't told you how I felt.

As Frankie finished, he felt out of breath, like he had released all he had been holding on to for seven years. It took all of Frankie's conviction and confidence not to hide his eyes from your all-encompassing gaze.

There was a long silence as the two of you stared at each other. This was only broken when Frankie saw your eyes turn partially glassy, and panic flooded his body, but before he could apologize for anything and everything that possibly could have made you cry, he felt your arms be thrown around his neck, and with a tight squeeze he knew everything was going to be alright.

—--

The next two days, neither of you spent more than a couple minutes out of bed and almost always in arm's reach of each other. Contact became practically a necessity, Frankie constantly wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your neck. Your hands traced each scar, cut, and bruise that littered his body. Neither of you wanted this to end, but Frankie was the first to declare a solution.

"Why don't we both call in sick?"

"We can't just call in sick, Frankie."

"Why not?"

"The both of us calling in sick? That's suspicious. Someone is bound to figure it out."

"We work in two completely different sections, no one would ever know." Frankie knew you. He knew you wanted this; it just might take a little extra convincing. But for a couple extra days with you in this bubble, it was worth it.

"I don't know, Frankie." Frankie saw you hang your head, and he knew this was his moment

"Come on Mi Cielo, play hooky with me." Giving his signature smirk before leaning down, kissing your temple, and whispering in your ear, "I'll make it worth your while."

Frankie pulled back to gauge your reaction. And when he saw your smile, he knew he had you.

"Oh, is that right, Mr. Morales?"

Hearing 'Mr. Morales' come from your lips made him give a low moan before biting his lip, trying to contain it.

"Si mi amour"

Frankie barely answered before dragging you back to the bedroom.

-----

Slowly, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday passed. Frankie and you found a rhythm in your rose-tinted bubble. Nothing appeared to be able to burst it, that was, until an unexpected guest.

Frankie was washing dishes from supper the night before as you dried and put them away. This felt like the most natural thing, sure you had washed dishes together in the past, but now, as Frankie looked over at you, everything was different. You were wearing an old shirt of his and an even older pair of boxers. You shook your hips and swayed to the music that played throughout the kitchen. From time to time, touching his waist as you move past him to put something away, often followed by a kiss on the cheek or behind the ear.

This time, however, Frankie saw you coming and turned to catch your lips; he could feel you react at first but, in an instant, melt into him. Not caring about anything, he turns, making sure not to break the kiss, and pulls you into him with his wet soapy hands, one on your back and one gripping your ass. You gasp in surprise, which Frankie takes advantage of, deepening the kiss. The smell of you fills his nostrils, and the sweet taste of you starts to fog his mind, but before he can do anything else, he hears, "Ahem."

Pulling back, Frankie turns to look at Pope, giving the two of you a shit-eating grin.

Frankie's head falls to your shoulder, and without looking at him, Frankie asks, "What do you want, Pope?"

"Oh well, when I heard my best friend was out sick, I went to see if our licensed medical professional knew anything. But to my surprise, she was out sick too!" Sarcasm dripped from Pope's statement.

Frankie feels a whack on his shoulder. "I told you someone would figure it out!"

Frankie lifted his head and rolled his eyes. "Pope doesn't count as someone."

Looking directly at Pope now, Frankie asks, "Again, what do you want, Pope?"

"Like I said, I wanted to check in on my best friend!"

Frankie cocks his eyebrow, knowing nothing is simple with Pope.

"I've given you guys four days together. Isn't that enough?"

Frankie, already incredibly annoyed by his best friend, matter-of-factly says “No.” before quickly pulling you in and passionately finishing the kiss Pope had so rudely interrupted. Frankie can feel you initially melt into him, but feeling Pope's eyes on you, you quickly come to your senses and push away from Frankie. He can practically feel the heat coming from your cheeks as you look down, making sure to not make eye contact with Pope before quickly excusing yourself to get dressed.

Watching you walk up the stairs to his room, he couldn't comprehend how lucky he was, but his fantasy was quickly dismissed when Pope declared, “Enough about you two, let me tell you about my date!”

Turning his neck, Frankie gave Pope one of the coldest stares he could muster this early in the morning. Either completely missing or ignoring the stare, Pope went into his story about his date with Allison “Okay, so I picked her up and took her to that hot new restaurant I told you about, and then we-” It was then when Frankie tuned Santi out and continued with the dishes, only occasionally adding in a helpful nod and ‘uh huh’ as the story continued.

By the time the story was wrapping up, Frankie heard you coming down the stairs, and he couldn't help but turn to you and smile. Like it was second nature, Frankie opened his arms, welcoming you into his embrace, but before you could Santi had to ruin the moment. “Wipe that goofy smile off your face. She was gone for like ten minutes.”

Santi and Frankie couldn't help but roll their eyes at each other, which only made Cielo giggle as she secured herself in Frankie's embrace.

“So what is this? Are you guys together? Or just fucking?”

Instantaneously, both Frankie and you shout, “Santi!” but Santi brushes this off with a shrug.

Frankie suddenly panicked. These days of playing hooky had let him imagine a life with you. In a perfect world, he'd propose to you right now, and you'd be married, moved in (and hopefully pregnant) by the end of the week.

But maybe that's not what you wanted? Maybe you wanted to just enjoy these days of playing hooky, and once it ended, never speak of it again.

Before fully spiraling, Frankie felt your hand on his chest, grounding him. He looked at you, and even though you were glaring at Santi (much like a sibling would), he knew that this was in no way, as Santi put it, just fucking.

"Santi, I love you like a brother. And because of that, I'm going to politely ask you to leave before I start throwing things. Particularly at your head." The smile on your face was radiant, but Frankie knew the look was dead serious.

Santi barely started, "But I-"

Still with the brightest smile spread across her face, Cielo picked up a plate and stared at Santi.

Santi squints, “You wouldn’t?”

You pull your back, ready to throw. “Try me, pretty boy.”

Seeing she means business, Santi lifts his hands up in surrender and makes his way out of the house.

Before the door closes, you yell out, “Bye, Santi!”

Frankie chuckled and turned to her, “Were you actually going to throw it?” to which she only answered with a shrug before continuing with the dishes. Frankie couldn't help but let out a booming laugh, with tears of laughter.

Once the laughter ends, there's a calm silence around them; the only noise is the sloshing of water from washing dishes and the clinking of plates as they're put away. Frankie knows what he wants, and part of him believes he knows what Cielo wants… but the voice of doubt still lingers in his head. Once again, Frankie is unable to keep his thoughts from spilling out.

“You want this right? You want us…” There's another pause, but this one feels less calm. In the silence, all Frankie can hear is his own heartbeat, slowly starting to rise. He puts the cup he was holding down on the counter, worrying that his sudden clammy hands will fumble it. Frankie sees you stare at your reflection within the sink. As he stares at you, waiting for a response, he sees a tear drop roll down your cheek and hit the water in the sink, making a small ripple.

Without even thinking, Frankie's hands are on your cheeks, wiping the silent tears with his thumbs and turning you to face him. Your brilliant eyes, which he loves so much, are glassy and red from the tears. Frankie sees your throat bob as you swallow hard. Frankie's voice can't help but come out as a beg, “Mi amor, ¿qué es?”

Cielo takes a very shaky, deep breath, and you responds barely higher than a whisper. “I'm scared.”

Another shaky breath was taken before she continued, “I'm scared we're moving too fast. I'm scared that we’ll ruin our friendship. I'm scared you'll fall out of love with me. Im - Im -I'm scared I’ll lose you!” You couldn't help but sob at the last statement, and your knees finally gave way.

Frankie immediately scoops you so he's on his knees, and you're clinging to his chest. He doesn't care that your hands are wet and soapy from the sink, he doesn't care that his shirt is wet from your tears, he doesn’t even care that he landed on his knees so hard he’d probably be sore for weeks. All he cares about is you. Taking care of you. Being there for you. Whatever you need. All that he did was for you.

Unconsciously, Frankie starts to rock you in his arms, whispering “I love you’s” in Spanish and English. The snobs eventually turn into much smaller cries. Frankie is still rocking but now humming a song that he didn't know the words to. Cielo finally looks up at Frankie, and he wipes your tears. “You’re humming my dad's song. He'd sing it to me when I was little.”

“It's also what you sang to me after my nightmare.”

“...I just wanted to help.”

Frankie nuzzles his nose against her cheek, “I know.”

This silence now felt like home. He could only hear their heartbeats, their synchronised breathing, and the song he continued to hum.

“I know you're scared, but being with you is all I’ve ever wanted. And I'm never changing my mind. I want everything with you, big or small,”

Frankie cradles your cheek in his hand and looks into your eyes. “I want to get married and have kids, but I also want to hold your hand when we walk side by side. I want to buy you flowers whenever I think of your smile. I want to have a picture of you in my cap. I want to hold you when we watch Princess Bride.” Taking a breath, he continues, “I want to wake up beside you every day for the rest of my life.”

Frankie leans down to kiss you, and the kiss contains multitudes. Frankie kissed you with a promise of your future together. As he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours. “I promise. Nothing could ever take me from you.”

As You looked at Frankie, he knew, in his heart, they would be together for the rest of their lives.

-The Next Last Friday of the Month-

“Hey, Fish were here!”

“Hey guys! We’re in the kitchen!”

As Santi, Benny, and Will enter the kitchen with armloads of beer and chips, they are greeted by both you and Frankie, who are making popcorn and grabbing cold beer from the fridge.

Benny hugs you, lifting you up off your feet. “Oh my god! You're here first? You never beat us!”

“Oh, you know they let me off early today because it was so quiet.” You have a small smirk when Frankie catches your eyes, which he can't help but return. You actually arrived first because you and Frankie had been driving to work together for the past month.

Frankie glances at Santi to see if he's kept his word and not gossiped with the boys about the two of you. The two of you swore him to secrecy because they wanted to tell them together, which he begrudgingly agreed to.

As the five of them head to the living room, you and Benny continue to argue.

“It's Fish’s turn to pick! Those are the rules!”

“But no one showed up last month! All you fucks canceled!”

“It was your pick last month, and Fish’s pick this month. ‘thems the rules!” Benny shrugs nonchalantly.

You land in the middle of the couch with an indignant “Ugh!” as you cross your arms. “This is so not fair.”

All the boys chuckle, Will sits beside you, Benny sits in the armchair, Santi spreads himself over the loveseat, and Frankie goes to the DVD shelf to pick a movie.

Since Benny never knows when to call it quits, whispers under his voice as he takes a sip of beer, “Everyone cancelled because we couldn't stand to watch The Princess Bride again.”

Frankie can hear you gasping behind him, and then he hears what he can only imagine as pillows being pelted at Benny. Everyone starts to laugh again.

Benny starts to scream in defeat. “I'm Kidding! I'm kidding! I'm kidding!”

Frankie puts the movie in the player and turns to see you standing over Benny, who is on the ground trying to dodge punches, pokes, and tickles. Frankie chuckles and sits down on the other end of the couch to Will and presses play to the movie.

“Admit defeat Miller! And I’ll take mercy on you!”

“Uncle! Uncle!”

“Say it!”

“The Princess Bride is the best movie ever!”

Satisfied, you stand and take the middle seat between Will and Frankie.

Out of breath, Benny crawls back into the armchair before asking Frankie, “So what are we watching, Fish?”

“The best movie ever.”

You look at Frankie with a touch of shock and he can't help but smile. Benny lifts his eyebrow in confusion until the movie tile screen comes up.

Benny groans and everyone laughs. You kiss Frankie on the cheek and cuddle beside him. Frankie kisses you on the top of the head. “Cualquier cosa por ti mi amor”

There's approximately 1 minute of silence before Will speaks up. “What the fuck?”

Benny is still staring at the two of them with a blank face of confusion.

Will once again, “Are we missing something?”

You shush Will “ssssshhhhh the movies starting!”

Benny, this time, stands up and blocks the TV. “No, no, no, explain.”

Frankie glances at Cielo to which she answers with a shrug. “Fine if it gets us to watch this movie quicker. Fish and I are together” Benny goes to interrupt but she stops him “Uhp! Uhp! Uhp! We've been together for a month, we are happy, and we will be taking nobody else's opinions.”

Benny and Will finally look at Santi, who has been playing on his phone the entire time.

Santi turns his head, “What?”

“Do you have anything you want to add?”

Santi thinks for a moment before throwing some popcorn in his mouth. “We should all start knocking because I walked in on them basically having sex in the kitchen.

This made both Frankie and you yell, “Santi!” and for good measure, you threw another pillow, adding, “We were just kissing!”

Hearing giggles from the Miller brothers behind you, you whip around “Anything else?”

Almost immediately, they leaned back in their seats like nothing had happened.

Frankie pressed play, and they started watching The Princess Bride when Benny quietly whispered, “It's about goddamn time.”

To which they all can't help but laugh.