#i've already passed the point of them having a positive memory

[actually-factually-anonymous]

I've spoken before about how Marinette has no actual reason to be Ladybug, at least compared to Peter Parker or other heroes have intrinsic motivations to be superheroes: or even pre-canon versions of Marinette who had personal connections to their versions of the main conflict.

She doesn't enjoy being a superhero, and until Miracle Queen she doesn't have a personal drive to be Ladybug beyond a vague sense of responsibility. After that you could assume her drive comes from s personal tragedy ala Peter and Uncle Ben thanks to her disastrous slip-up that cost Fu his memories...

But even then: that just means that she has an ostensible responsibility to be The Guardian of the Box that Fu was responsible for. Her being the Ladybug holder is never a requirement, and in S5 she even gives up the earrings over...

(Checks notes)

Being unlucky in romance.

Seriously, at least when Adrien gave up the ring/came close to it: he was either distraught due to having murdered someone, or it was on the tail of multiple episodes proving him to be superfluous.

(And yes, she gave up the earrings of her own volition. Unlike Adrien: Marinette is her Kwami's boss, and remained so for the entire season. At any point she could have told Tikki to cut it out or summarily fired Alya to reclaim the Ladybug position if she actually felt some inherent duty to wear them.)

If Marinette has some great drive to be a hero that eclipses Adrien's, I would very much like to see it. Because as far as I can see, her only motivation to be Ladybug is that vague sense of "for the greater good"- and Kwamis' Choice demonstrates that it's far from unlimited.

And to be fair: if she was anyone besides the protagonist this would be fine. If Marinette were a side character, her being an overwhelmed teenager who just wants to go back to her ordinary life and ordinary problems, and whose lack of interest in being a superhero lead her to give up her powers and responsibilities... well:

She'd be a simple and effective deconstruction of the "teen superhero".

She already does the bare minimum as Guardian and Team Leader to actually defeat The Butterfly Villain: all of her practical efforts go to managing Gabemoth's threat instead of trying to find him. She treats the whole thing as something akin to a daily chore to handle an irresolvable problem- but she had an entire box of magical tools that she could have trying to use to try and solve Shadmoth's identity that she just never used. She was the only human (after Fu passes) to know that the Grimoire, Butterfly and Peacock were lost together, but after Mayura appears she never even reconsiders reopening the case against Gabriel Agreste.

She had plenty of tools and resources to try and end Gabemoth's reign as Nooroo's slaver and Paris' tormentor. But she sticks purely to threat management so she can go back to being Marinette as often as possible. And with Lilamoth seemingly set up for a decade-long career (if Timetagger is any indication): I don't think that's going to change any time soon.

This is someone who is so lacking in drive to be a hero that by any objective measurement: she shouldn't be one.

Despite whatever Wunderkind she may be with the Miraculous: being Ladybug stresses her and seems to aggravate some apparent pre-existing anxiety to the point of leading her to multiple near-breakdowns. Marinette herself has no personal interest in being a hero, seemingly only does so out of a sense of obligation, and is so lacking in proactivity, so purely reactive that it's entirely plausible that the conflict with Gabemoth would have only ended when the man died of old age.

Going back to that side character analogy: a character like Marinette would work best if she were a predecessor to the main character- if she was some previous Ladybug who gave up. If she was the main feature of an episode or two to show how "power in the wrong hands" can be harmful to everyone involved even if the person isn't villainous and has "good intentions". If she was used as a contrast to some current Ladybug with more drive to highlight this Ladybug's heroic character virtues and why they should have the earrings as opposed to someone else.

Because Marinette, fundamentally, isn't a bad person. She's not even a bad hero- at least in terms of winrate.

But she's not a good one. Marinette, to be succinct, is what happens when a young, talented person gets nothing but praise, easy access to power without accountability, and is never pushed to grow and improve on her flaws in any substantial way.

And that makes sense: because to all evidence she doesn't want to be a hero. She wants to be "an ordinary girl with an ordinary life" (give or take a glamorous fashion career, an ultra-wealthy model boyfriend, a home in one of the most expensive neighborhoods of Europe, etc, etc).

And say what you wish about Adrien, Alya, or even most of the rest of the Miraculous team: for the most part they actually seem to want to be heroes.

I've seen people said Adrien doesn't have motivation to be a hero but Marinette does, which is weird because I feel like it's Marinette who doesn't have a motivation to be hero beyond "people listen to Ladybug". Her lack of motivation is what confused me because as a protagonist, she's inevitably become a role model for the young audience and I find nothing about her is likeable, even more so after she become a guardian. It's as if being a guardian inflate her ego and she forgot that everyone else is a human with feelings, not just a pawn or a doll for her to play and ordered around.

Recently I found out a website that contain the concept plot and it confused me more because I feel like concept Marinette is a more grounded character than she is in the show.

Marinette's goal isn't just to be Adrien/Felix's girlfriend but she also need to collect the kwamis that she accidentally releases and she become a guardian not because of luck or favoritism like how it is in the show, it's because her grandfather is the guardian. Adrien/Felix doesn't even become Chat Noir because he's chosen by the guardian, it's Plagg who chose him. It's actually much better than the whole "I choose you but also I'm not going to do anything with you" that Fu pulls in the show.

i don't understand why the higher up/the sponsor reject this plot because I think this much better than whatever we have now. If they have a problem with Chat Noir being an anti-hero, then why do they accept Marinette being written like one while also hailing her as a hero?

---

“Adrien isn't motivated to be a hero” he actually likes being a hero, unlike our role model protagonist, who’d rather do anything than be Ladybug even when she's being lauded for her heroic deeds. Is this based on Adrien trying to quit when Fu or Marinette is making his job needlessly more difficult to do? Because, like, that's the only thing that he seems to dislike about being a hero, which, like, makes Marinette an even worse hero. She��s so bad at her job, she makes otherwise eager heroes lose their motivation.

I’m gonna be very honest here; Marinette becoming Ladybug because she accidentally released a bunch of magical creatures and Adrien/Félix being more of an anti-hero rival than a full-on ally would have been copied straight from Cardcaptor Sakura’s starting setup. Like, I’m not surprised that even the rejected ideas for Miraculous are copied from other properties, but it just proves that regardless of any other variables, Astruc’s creation was always going to be highly derivative. Regardless, I do feel that Fu being her grandfather instead of a stranger would have gone a long way in justifying Marinette’s special treatment both in-universe and to the audience, but that’s probably why it was rejected.

Like, we can mock the fact that Marinette isn’t actually within spitting distance of being a “normal girl with a normal life” all we like, but that doesn’t change the fact that, from a purely on-paper angle, she is pretty average. She’s a middle-schooler with pretty average hobbies who deals with normal teen problems like bullies and a crush on a boy she doesn’t know how to deal with. There’s a reason it’s the opening line for the show’s opening. It's marketable. A special chosen one from the start wouldn’t have been as marketable in the same way. Especially when we take into account how hypersensitive Astruc is to Marinette being less liked than he’d want. He’d do whatever he can think of to make sure Marinette isn’t immediately judged a “Mary Sue”.

The thing with executives is that they don't watch the shows they fund. They read the pitch, synopses, and maybe the scripts if they can find the time. And even then, they might not want to put in the money to get a script revised even if they paid enough attention to tell it was dogshit. They wouldn't be interested as long as the different Miraculous bedsheets and shampoos keep selling and as long as the show isn’t too gay to sell to other countries. Like, the show bible that Gloob leaked? The one full of inaccuracies because it was outdated? That was what the executives were most likely given when the retool went into development. In addition, corporate oversight on the show has actually decreased the longer it’s gone on, because the show’s proven itself to be a success. I’m pretty sure the higher-ups were not asked: “hey, is it okay if we make Marinette an entitled jerk who gets validated at every turn while she starts treating people worse and worse?” I’m pretty sure no one okayed Marinette’s “villain arc”, it was just allowed to pass because it didn’t make the show less marketable.

That’s the thing with any property that becomes “too big to fail”. Less oversight means less quality control. It’s like one anonymous Gamefreak employee said about making Pokémon games: “It’ll sell anyway, so it doesn’t matter if it’s bad.”

[moonchild-in-blue]

So, I have recently noticed that out of all of Sleep Token's discography, there are exactly only 3 songs where Vessel isn't addressing someone directly as a dialogue (doesn't use the words you/we), and 2 of those he still mentions someone in the 3rd person.

Atlantic - doesn't use you/we. The second person (you) is implied, but the song is mostly about Vessel/his inner monologue and memories. If I'm not mistaken this is the ONLY song that mentions him crying sobbing (I've barely begun and I'm already sad).

call me // flood me // weather me // etc

Alkaline - doesn't use you/we but spends the whole song describing someone and how she affects him.

she is changing me // her molecules // she's not acid nor alkaline // i'm caught up with her design // etc

Distraction - doesn't use you/we, and the main focus is on him. Vessel mentions someone in passing (in the 3rd person), but mainly it's all about him.

she is not like any other (...)

Worth mentioning that the ONLY song that breaks the you/we // dialogue rule, that seems to be solely about Vessel and doesn't reference any other person is DYWTYLM, if you go with the most common interpretation that this is Vessel talking to himself/his reflection.

[of course it's up to personal interpretation but to me this is what makes the most sense]

Why is this interesting? BECAUSE, in literally every other song, his feelings about the person, their relationship, and even his own position tend to change a lot.

Sometimes Vessel gets extremely passive agressive and angry at them (I see you Granite). Others he is just pouring out his love and desire, and being the most romantic individual ever. Sometimes they are someone to defend or be guarded by, others they are a menace and dangerous; someone to walk away from. All of these are things he says directly to them, even if he does flourishes and dances around the question.

And yet, in all 3 of those songs, they are always painted as someone who is "good" and "unlike any other", who protects them, who is "more than he could ask for". Someone whom he loves and is content with. In Alkaline, where he mostly just talks about her, Vessel describes her as "either born in hell or heaven sent" and goes on about the dichotomy of her being, but is ultimately "into it". At no point he shows remorse or discontent regarding her.

On the other hand, he is always suffering in them (technically he is always suffering anyways but-). In none of these songs does Vessel ever takes the role of someone who could retaliate. Of someone who is strong. If we look at Atlantic and Distraction (and DYWTYLM if you want to), the only songs pretty much solely about him, he is always in pain, on the verge of collapsing completely. Even Alkaline, he is glad to be consumed and entangled by her.

In those songs, Vessel is crumbling and sobbing and falling apart, and begging to be "put to sleep"; he is willing to be drowned because "it's too late for him", offering no resistance; he is wishing to be someone else, wishing to love himself and "smile back at him", as he knows he should.

When talking directly to them, Vessel is as loving and sweet as he is angry and hurt by them. And yet on the very, very few occasions he talks to only to himself, he is always seeking refuge and declaring his love for them, while running from himself and begging for death.

Also interesting to point out that, with the exception of DYWTYLM, all of them belong to This Place Will Become Your Tomb. The depression album. The "let me be taken by the cold waves and sink to the bottom of the ocean so I don't feel anymore pain" album.

[atriza]

The Point of No Return pt.11

Yandere Five Hargreeves x Reader

Part 10

Summary: Y/N continues to endure Five's relentless domination. He tests their submission with increasingly dehumanizing demands, pushing them to the point where they have nothing left but obedience. One night, Five summons them to the living room, expressing his need to know that they are completely his. Y/N, having lost their sense of self entirely, submits to this final request, realizing that they have passed the point of no return. Their identity has been stripped away, replaced by total submission to Five.

Word Count: 564 words

**Content Warning:**

This story contains dark and potentially distressing themes, including obsessive behavior, violence, manipulation, and psychological distress. It portrays a relationship that is unhealthy and toxic, where one character exhibits controlling and possessive tendencies that lead to extreme actions.

If you are sensitive to these themes or find them triggering, please consider skipping this story.

Have Fun Reading!

The days had blurred into one another, each filled with the routine of obedience and submission that Five had imposed upon you. The house had become a prison where freedom was a distant memory, replaced by the relentless demands end harsh discipline of your captor.

Tonight was different. Five had given you a specific command—to wait for him by the door of his study. As you knelt on the cold, hard floor, every muscle in your body ached with the Strain of maintaining this position. The silence of the house was oppressive, broken only by the distant hum of the heating system. You kept your gaze fixed on the floor, steeling yourself for whatever was to come.

The door to the study creaked open, and Five emerged, his presence as commanding as ever. He had changed into more casual clothes, but his demeanor was anything but relaxed. His eyes locked anto you with a mixture of satisfaction and cold determination. He approached with deliberate steps, his gaze never leaving you.

“Stand up,” he said, his voice cutting through the silence like a blade.

You complied immediately, rising with a fluid motion. Five's eyes roamed over you, taking in every detail of your compliance. There was a hard edge to his gaze, a glint of something dark and possessive.

“Follaw me," he commanded.

You trailed behind him as he led you to the living room. The atmosphere was tense, charged with an unspoken intensity, Five gestured for you to sit on the cauch, and you obeyed, taking your place with a resigned grace. He sat down next to you, close enough that you could feel the heat of his body, but not so close that you could mistake his intentions.

“I've been thinking,” he began, his voice smooth but laced with a dangerous undertone. “You've shown remarkable obedience. But there are still some things | need to be certain of”

He reached out, his hand resting postessively on your thigh. His touch was both intimate and commanding, a reminder of the control he held over you. You looked down, feeling the weight of his expectations pressing down on you.

“What do you need?” you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper.

Five's eyes narrowed ae he cansidered you. “I need to know that you are completely mine. That thare is nothing left of the person you once were. | want to see how far you're willing to go."

The implications of his words were clear. He wanted to test your limits, to push you beyond the boundaries of what you had already endured. The fear and apprehension you falt were almost overwhelming, but you had {earned to suppres them, to bury them deep within yourself. You had no choice but to comply.

Five's hand moved from your thigh to your shoulders, his grip firm as he guided you to stand up. “Come with me" he said, leading you to a different part of the house.

The destination was a small, dimly fit room that you had rarely seen. It was furnished simply, with only a few pieces of furniture and a small, uncomfortable-looking chair. Five gestured for you to sit in the chair, and you did so without hesitation.

“I want you to remain here,” he said, his ‘tone broking no argument. “And | want you to think about what you've done.”

You nodded, accepting his command. As he turned to Jeave, he paused at the door, casting one last look at you. His expression was one of cold satisfaction, a hint of something darker lurking beneath the surface.

The room was silent except for the occasional creak of the house settling. You sat there, alone with your thoughts, ‘the weight of Five's expectations heavy on your shoulders. The time stretched endlessly, each moment a reminder of your complete lack of cantral.

Finally, Five returned, his demeanar as commanding as ever. He carried a small box with him, setting it dawn on a nearby table. As he approached you, he held up a simple but elegant ring-a symbol of ownership, a token of the finality of his control.

“This” he said, holding the ring up for you to see, “is a symbol of your submission. | want you to wear it as a mark of your obedience.”

You stared at the ring, a sense of dread settling over you. The thought of wearing it, of marking yourself as his possession in such a permanent way, was almost 100 much to bear, But you knew that resistance was futile. You had already given up 50 much, and this was simply another step in the process.

Five held out his hand, his gaze unwavering. "Put it on”

With trembling fingers, you took the ring and slid it onto your finger. The metal felt cold and heavy, a stark reminder of the control he held over yau. Ag you finished, Five's eyes gleamed with dark satisfaction.

“Good; he said. “You've proven your submission. But we're not finished yet.”

He moved closer, his hand resting on your chin as he tilted your head up to meet his gaze. His eyes were intense, filled with a mixture of possessiveness and something darker~an almost predatory gleam.

“I need to be sure that you are completely mine” he said softly. “That ‘there is no part of you left that isn’t under my control,”

The implication of his words was clear. He wanted to test you further, to push you beyond the limits of what you had already endured. The thought of what he might ask of you was almost too much to bear, but you had no choice but to camply.

Five's hand slipped from your chin ta your shoulder, his touch both firm and possessive. "Come," he said, guiding you toward the door, “There's one more thing we need to do.”

You follawed him, your mind racing with a mixture of fear and resignation. He led you to a small room that you had never seen before a private chamber that seemed to exist solely for the purpose of exerting his control over you.

Inside the room was a bed, its stark simplicity a reminder of the pawer dynamic at play. Five gestured far you to sit on the edge of the bed, and you did e0, your heart paunding with a mixture of dread and anticipation.

He approached you slowly, his gaze fixed on you with an intensity that was almost overwhelming. His movements were deliberate, each step calculated to maintain the dominance he had established.

“| want you to understand,’ he said softly, “that this is about more than just obedience. It’s about complete and utter submission. | need to know that there 1 nothing left of the person you once were.”

As he spoke, he began to undress, hig movements smooth and controlled. The sight of him preparing for what was to come only heightened your sense of vulnerability, You knew that you had no. choice but to comply, to submit fully to his demands.

When he was finally ready, he approached you, his touch bath ‘commanding and intimate. The act thet followed was a culmination of everything you had endured, a final test of your submission. As you surrendered to his control, you felt the last remnants of your resistance slip away, replaced by a sense of resignation and acceptance,

Afterward, as you lay beside him, exhausted and empty, Five's demeanor softened slightly. He reached out, pulling you close, his touch surprisingly tender.

"You've done well,” he said softly. "You've proven your submission. But there's one final step."

He pulled away slightly, his gaze intense. “I want you to marry me.”

The words hit you like a physical blow, a final, erushing demand that left you reeling. The idea of binding yourself to him in such a permanent way was almost too much to bear, But deep down, you knew that resisting was no longer an option.

Five's eyes searched yours, his expression a mix of anticipation and something darker. He wanted you to say yes, to agree to his final demand and complete your transformation into his possession.

You took a deep breath, your mind racing. You had already given up so much, but this was different. It was a final, irrevocable step, a binding commitment that would seal your fate forever.

With a heavy heart, you nodded, accepting the reality of your situation. ‘The person you once were was gone, replaced by a shell of submission and obedience. As Five's satisfied smile grew, you knew that there was ao tuming back, You had reached the point of no return, and the future that lay ahead was one of complete and utter ‘surrender.

In the quiet aftermath, as you lay beside him, the weight of his final demand hung heavily in the air. The person you had once been was a distant memory, replaced by a reality of complete submission and control. And as Five's contented breathing filled the room, you understood that the final act of your surrender had been completed

[theeternalwombtarot]

messages from someone who let go of you

message: I’m so obsessed with my tarot table set up that I couldn’t help but share it with you guys. I felt pulled to do a message from people who may have left you behind or moved on from you. This message is meant for those of you who have somewhat moved on or are somewhat far removed. You may have distant memories or have thoughts of this person still that feel somewhat against you or random due to so much time having passed or your life having changed so much since then. I keep hearing “I’m sad again, don’t tell my boyfriend, it’s not what he’s for made for.” From Billie’s song, I don’t remember what it’s called, “what was I made for?” I was so unprepared to come out here and read tarot that my phone is at 20% but I came out and lit up all my candles anyways and sat down at my table. This will be a channeled message, directly from them to you. Enjoy.

***

i.

"I'm not real sure where I'm going or what's left of me to do now. I feel as though I've done everything I said I would or put myself in the position to receive everything I possibly could, I feel like I've obtained and had everything there is for me to have and yet, there's this emptiness. I'd like to say that I would equate the loss of you to the emptiness I feel but to say the loss of you would not fully encapsulate the responsibility I carry for not being there and leaving you more times than we can count on all ten of our fingers put together. I still like to tell myself and others that it was not a big deal, that the loss of you, of us, was not a big deal. I will find a way to minimize anything and everything that means all of anything to me in order to hide the fact that it is so painfully important and you know this already. I am not ignorant to the reality of the situation, the loss, and my behavior. I know better I just couldn't do better. Since you've been gone, things have not been any less chaotic or trivial. Your absence leaves hard lessons here that I could not foresee while you were here. I keep saying since you've been gone, or since you've left, or in your absence because it feels as though you've left me, I may have left you plenty in spirit, I may have left a void within you so frequently that at some point you did leave.

you left me with no choice but to pick up and leave. I've been forced to carry all my bags and pull all my karma up the hill all by myself now that you're gone and life has thrown at me lesson after lesson. I do not know where life will take me or what's in store for me or what else there is for me to have now that what I would've really wanted has voluntarily bowed out of my life and left only tower moments and lessons. I cannot get over the way that it feels for justice to have finally come for you and served you right after all this time of me not being able to deliver it to you myself. I find myself brought to tears or battling excessive bouts of emotion behind you not being here and I have nobody to cry to and nobody to blame but myself. I am trying to let go, I am trying to release what is no longer a reality for me any longer. You.

I lost such a massive opportunity for my own fulfillment when you walked out the door. I hated to see your back to me I hated to see you go but I understand that you were tired and I understand that all my time I spent fearing your abandonment I manifested such a reality for myself by being afraid. All the pushing I did, all the damage I did, all the hurt and destruction I caused being someone whose shadow eclipsed them because I let it. Now, all I've been doing is trying to heal and trying to do the inner work like you told me so many times, all that time ago. I feel as though my future leads nowhere now truly, I may have felt that way when you were around but even throughout all my hopelessness and hardship, I always thought I'd find my way to you in the end and now that you're not here there lies no reward.

***

ii.

I've learned so much now that I am away, many things make sense to me that didn't before, I see things so much clearer than I had previously. There is so much within this world, on this plane of existence for me, for us, to see and understand. My departure was necessary however sudden or abrupt, everything I've done I've done for love and there is never a lack of purpose behind my actions and I wish so badly that I had the ability to tell you all these things directly, for some reason, unbeknownst to me, my heart aches. I still think of you however far removed I may be, I still think of you no matter what it may seem like, I still think of you despite my wish not to. I am not heartbroken nor am I half of a whole. I am in my power, I am willing and able to reach towards all horizons and create the life I had deserved for myself all along that you could not give me despite all my time spent sitting idle waiting for you. Please do not mistake my willingness to come through and communicate as me being truly unhappy or ungrounded, I am not. I have returned home to myself and wherever I go, whomever I am with, and however much I change I will always reside here.

I have discovered things within this life and within this realm that I thought for many years and even before you that I could not have and now I have them. So I am not unhappy or discontented, but, you are not gone from my heart and from my mind despite how much I've grown and despite how much I've discovered myself to have. I do not love you the way I used to and so at times I do find myself plagued solely with confusion as to why at random moments I find myself thinking of you. I have proved to myself that I could have the whole entire world within the palms of my hands but I carry with me a secret and that is you. I build high walls of my kingdom around the memorial that is your absence in my life. And when things fall away and succumb to time and go back to the earth from which they came, we remember them and we pay careful attention not to disturb them, we let bygones be bygones. Your essence is with me, you are here in spirit but I refuse to trudge up what's passed gone back up again simply because I have the capacity to remember.

because you are not here and because we share the connection that we share or had once what we had, there is a part of me that lies within me that sometimes is confused or or feels clueless about what the rest of my life will look like without you, whether or not I will always remember, whether or not the small memorial you have within my spirit will be given a mural, whether or not even in deep and aligned partnership and connection I will find myself wondering where you are. I store your heart within mine. Sometimes, even if I am not heartbroken or paralyzed with loss I become frustrated or angry because I can't bring myself to understand what lies ahead of me through what I have holding within me now, these memories. But, where I am afraid, or angry, or confused I show myself mercy and grace. I say to myself, "What meant something to us once is not always easily forgotten." Before I left you behind and found the strength within myself to do so, I feared deeply that without you I would find myself alone eternally, I still feel to some extent that that might even be a possibility but the difference is I do not fear it this time. I will be brave, I will not live my life paralyzed by possibility and I will do my darndest to give myself everything I needed and was ever owed.

And I will never be angry that it does not include you if I find that it does not. There is no sentence more immeasurable than a lifetime so I will do only what I can do and make it a good one and leave everything else up to be decided to spirit.

***

iii.

I think of you and the way I walked away frequently. You were a piece of a revealing story. You proved that I was struggling, you proved that I had deeply rooted things I refused to dig through or acknowledge, you proved my actions were detrimental, that my shadow is large and looming. I attempt to run from myself every single day from the second I rise in the morning to the moment my head hits the pillow. To see yourself clearly in the mirror when you've done so much to obstruct the reflection is misery. My spirit yearns for healing and for me to answer to its wailing but I don't like the sound. I have to hear it all the same anyway even If I don't like it, your absence has left my ears ringing, I feel like the truth of my reflection is being pulled out of me in knots. I'm at a loss for words, I find myself feeling as though in my ways, I've cheated myself out of an opportunity that was you. I feel like I have no plan in store for me like I've been stranded on an island with only myself to talk to. I can't see myself having anything fulfilling without you being here, everything I build I knock down, everything I find my grip around slips right through my fingers.

I've been working so hard to dress myself up, to make myself look dazzling and shiny and new just as something I would reach for regardless of it not being gold, but, my old way of doing things is no longer working. There is no void so deep. there is nothing left to do but wade in the marsh that is the consequence of my own actions and I am afraid. I know that you cannot hear me over the sound of your joy and the sound of heavenly support but I wish that you could. The second I could not reach you any longer the fabric I'd sewn made from whatever I told myself at night and whatever I felt I could've had had been ripped from beneath me. I am angry because I feel that what I have reaped is unfair. I have made no progress where true progress lies, I feel disappointed and displeased. Whatever I've found myself having, worldly or in spirit is not enough. Your wrath is hellish and you've not even lifted a finger.

If I were to speak to you in the flesh, I would still find myself lying, seething as if what I've received is unfair, and hiding behind ego because it is all I have to offer at this time. I have not changed, I don't know that I am capable. Please have mercy on me. Please forgive me. I have a tendency to look at you almost religiously, if God lived on earth beside us, he/she would be you. I'm far removed from spirit, I do not know how to pray, I do not hear their messages, I do not know my way, and you, a beacon of light, have left. I'm trying to let go, I'm trying to teach myself to see things differently, I am trying to do or find something. And after all of this, If I were to speak to you, you would show me some grace, you would still wish me well, you would still want the best for me or want me to turn inwards and heal. All I want all the time is your blessing. It has taken everything in me not to turn up on your doorstep as I feel I've been exiled. Every time I've washed up unannounced or without your permission both in the physical and in the astral was a call for help, to let you know that my shadow is looking straight at me and there is nothing I can do about it.

All I have to say now is that you were right about everything and what I have received I am owed and what is fair is fair. I hope that you are free and I hope for my own.

***

Do I even wanna post this?? Please, all I can think is GIRL, WHAT IS THIS??? I know I’m the one who wrote it but when I’m channeling it never feels as though it’s coming directly from me, I’m only a vessel at that point, the only credit I feel I can take in the moment is the fact that it is my fingers who is typing it. If you’re an intuitive or a reader of some sort you know exactly what I’m talking about but these messages are so dramatic. While writing them the part of me that was present was like “oh please! 🙄✋🏾 pack it up!!” But anyways, let me post it before I chicken out.

[quennofsblog]

Red Sea | Gojo Satoru

Prologue

x fem!OC You can read as a reader :) Doesn't fully follow the Canon plot!!!!

Synopsis: After so long apart, Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto come together to negotiate amid chaos, but remembering the past can be very painful.

Two men.

Gathered in a colorful abyss waiting for salvation and to be the saviors of humanity.

Both want the same things, but in different ways, one will sacrifice himself if possible for his goals, the other will sacrifice everything necessary to achieve his goals.

Face to face, beautiful and tragic memories came back to the surface, just looking at their eyes again was as if pieces of broken glass passed through their eyes, marks that were on their bodies did not erase what they both felt, nor what they felt.

Now, as an irony of fate, the most powerful men in humanity, gathered again in negotiations, ready to give and end everything that each other meant.

"Suguru."

"Satoru. It's been a while, hasn't it?" The black-haired man just smiled calmingly, even after everything, he was happy to meet his friend once again.

"That's right... I didn't think this meeting would happen... Under these circumstances." The platinum just sighed in defeat, his heavenly blue eyes swept over the scene, as ironically, it was very... Relaxing.

Satoru could breathe deeply there, as if no worry could catch him in that place, a sunset warmed them in a calming way, at the same time as a nostalgic breeze enveloped them.

"Surprised, aren't you? This place always helps me think. Oh, how's Floki? I've never seen that gluttonous ball of beauty again."

Floki... A name that squeezed Satoru's heart, an old friend who gave him so many positive emotions but who now belongs to the thousands of pieces of glass scattered around.

"Floki is no more." Steady, impatient eyes contrasted with Suguru's sharp eyes that fell a little at the statement. "What do you want anyway, Suguru?"

"I want Sukuna's seven fingers."

"Why do you need them?" Suguru's loud laugh would normally make him shiver, but after so many years apart and seeing the direction of their lives, nothing shook him anymore.

"Don't act stupid, Satoru, it doesn't suit your age anymore, it's not even necessary to be a genius for what I want with the fingers."

"If I give it to you, what will you give me in return?" Satoru just sighed, but curiously, he couldn't think of anything worthy of the exchange of fingers from the near destruction of the world.

"A soul."

"Soul?"

"You're still slow huh? Just the soul of Phoenix Leblanc."

Satoru's blue eyes just widened, shock coursing through his body, as if just that name invoked climate change in him and him alone, a vague feeling of nostalgia returned at the idea, but he quickly dismissed it, he knows it's impossible to bring someone back to life, he knows, because he's already tried. The results he obtained torment him to this day, haunted by the idiocy he committed that day.

He just looked at Suguru in disbelief, he knew that at this point, there would be no saving the man from the firm, psychotic eyes in front of him.

Geto, by using the name of the most important person to Gojo, who knew well what Phoenix Leblanc meant to the platinum artist, showed himself to be cruel, very cruel.

He couldn't simply believe in these absurdities, even though the depths of his consciousness tried to convince him to accept, he knew that when he accepted, he didn't know how this "soul" worked, but he knew that "soul" would never be his Phoenix.

He would be subject to going through the loss a second time, and he refuses if that's the case, Gojo knew he would never recover again, he could finally understand Geto Suguru if that happened, and maybe that's what Geto wants, a way for both of them to come together and destroy this rotten world.

He just looked back at the warm sun, sighing.

Not this time Suguru.

Forgive me.

Forgive me Phoenix.

"Straight forward as always. You have indeed gone crazy."

"Maybe I be."

"I don't know how you intended to resurrect someone, but-

"It's not resurrecting, her soul is alive, even if it's not in front of us, she's alive in our memories, and in the memories of everyone who knows her, and in her following stories ahead, like a haunting that doesn't go away, no Do you want to get rid of this curse?"

Could he subject himself to that?

Was Phoenix's soul still alive?

...

No.

No more.

Satoru will not be like his best friend, a desperate guy looking for meaning after losing his own.

He already has meanings, she is waiting for him at home, watching television, perhaps playing with dolls and searching his room for sweets.

He wasn't strong enough to protect her, but he will be strong enough to protect his ideas and pass them on.

"I'm fine like this, and I'm not going to accept your proposal, it wouldn't benefit me in...anything."

"..."

"I see, so know that we will be at complete odds from now on."

"Alright, we'll be ready."

With this, the comforting domain disperses with the wind, giving vision to a worn and old office, once a colorful place full of life, but now, it has just become just another one.

He knew that now there was going to be a war, he was arrogant enough to accept it, and arrogant enough to know that he will win.

It does not matter anymore.

He sat in the wheelchair watching Suguru leave the room, realizing that their ideals had separated them once again, like a barrier that had separated them since that day, that time he couldn't do anything for his best friend, joining his list of life regrets that he doesn't have the courage to shake off.

"Not even the strongest can protect everyone..."

Sighing, before looking at the picture frame with four figures, a woman with a clumsy flower crown in her flaming red hair, a cute and frowning kitten perched on her head, himself hugging his shoulder with one arm while in the other he held his entire life, slightly pink hair like theirs smiling beautifully at the camera, and a crown of flowers on his head, along with the smiles that everyone had.

Satoru smiled fondly as he looked at his family, running his finger gently over the photo.

"It's time."

Thank you for watching this, if you could contribute with reblogs and comments I would greatly appreciate it.❤️

English is not my first language, so there is a high chance of errors.

My previous posts:

Everything you let go | Itoshi Sae from Blue Lock

Rosy cheeks | Suguru Geto from Jujutsu Kaisen

[baki-tiene-un-simp]

En lo profundo de la montaña / Deep in the mountain [Yujiro].

Final 4/4

~Palabras / Words~ 895

[Yujiro]

Everything was absolutely confusing, too fast for you to understand what was happening, you could barely recognize the flashing red eyes that were approaching you with an angry face.

For a few seconds, you felt the most horrible pain you could experience as your body was attacked by the mountain of muscles that moved unnaturally above you, but it only lasted that, a few seconds. You passed out so quickly that you didn't register the way your ribs cracked horribly as your body impacted a few feet away.

Maybe it was better this way. No, it was definitely better this way. It was a miracle you survived and the recovery will be horrible, so you don't need exact memories of what happened.

When you woke up the night had already settled a long time ago, you noticed it by the position of the moon at its highest point, you felt a paralyzing pain in your extremities and it was difficult for you to even swallow saliva to relieve the discomfort in your mouth from feeling so dry. Breathing was simply a nightmare, you felt like pounds and pounds of heavy metal were crushing your lungs and preventing you from taking a proper breath.

However, you were not aware of yourself yet, you would be crying in agony. You were between consciousness and unconsciousness, which is what allowed you to register some voices that were lost in whispers and said scattered and incomplete phrases that you could not understand.

“… They're new… Sure, I've never seen them before…”

“… Have I seen them… I'm sure, but it's similar too…”

“… The old master… He probably knows what we…”

“Be careful, beast!… You might break more of their bones if you do…”

“Arrogant old man…”

“… Is it really necessary… Are we wasting time with this…”

“… If you give me something that interests me, I could hunt him down…”

“Your only reward is that I do not banish all of you from this mountain and…”

When you opened your eyes again, it was still night, you noticed it because of the cold temperature and the darkness that persisted even when the windows were opened, the sound of the crickets in a shared echo and the dance of the fireflies on the window were another indicator of the current time. You didn't even try to get up, you felt so fatigued that that would be impossible and the pain in your body would also be an impediment at this point.

You turned your head when you heard footsteps approaching and recognized the figure of your grandfather, his frown faltered for a second when his eyes widened in surprise when he saw you wake up. He seemed relieved, but upset with other emotions that you couldn't identify because he returned to his demeanor, perhaps a little kinder now.

“Grandpa…” you mumbled with a raspy voice, you probably hadn’t used your voice in a couple of hours, “… I came to visit you, but…”

“It's okay,” he silenced you with a wave of his hand as he sat next to your body, “Don't try so hard to impress me.”

You breathed slowly in an attempt to breathe as much as you could, you felt the need to do so, as if it had been a long time since you had breathed normally and your body was demanding it from you. Your grandfather looked at you as you did so, “You've been unconscious for a week.”

That information surprised you greatly, did you lose consciousness for a full week? But you had memories of the day you climbed the mountain, vague memories of your encounter with a creature and a distant conversation, When does a week pass?!

“I informed your family,” your grandfather recognized the concerns in your eyes, continuing before you could speak, “I took care of you all week, but you still can't leave on your own yet. You will stay one more week.”

You couldn't say anything in protest to it, how could you? You didn't have the strength to argue, much less go down the mountain. You sighed with resignation and settled under the blankets that protected you from the cold.

“You were lucky,” your grandfather murmured as he smoothed out your sheets, “If he hadn't shown up to try to take that thing down, you probably wouldn't have survived.”

“Who are you talking about?” Your voice was still rough, so your grandfather held out a cup of water for you to drink.

“I'm sure you know, someone must have mentioned it to you,” the older man began, as you drank from the cup, “There are certain creatures that lurk around this mountain… Huge demons with personalities too complex to understand… Very mysterious and aggressive.”

You listened carefully as you tried to ease your newfound curiosity, “You had the misfortune of running into the most aggressive of them, Yujiro, a wrathful and abominably strong creature. Probably, He only knocked you down and hit you minimally, that explains why you are still alive, but still so badly injured. "

" One of the other three had seen him and jumped on him looking for a fight, for once it's good that those three idiots hate Yujiro so much," your grandfather explained to you as he put the cup aside, " Be that as it may, you are now in a safe place. Get well soon"

You shifted uneasily in your seat when you heard all that, were everything they told you really true? Are there onis living in this mountain? God, you didn't even know how you had survived.

Your stomach turned as you remembered those huge red eyes, it wasn't a nightmare, it was really out there… Huge, dangerous and ruthless… Looking for something to destroy… Some careless traveler or someone with a lot of bad luck.

Like you.

Versión en español.

[Yujiro]

Todo fue absolutamente confuso, demasiado rápido para que pudieras entender qué sucedía, a penas pudiste reconocer los ojos rojos destellantes que se aproximaban a ti con una fuerza iracunda.

Durante unos segundos sentiste el dolor más horrible que podrías experimentar cuando tu cuerpo fue embestido por la montaña de músculos que se movía de forma antinaturalmente sobre ti, pero solo duro eso, unos segundos. Te desmayaste tan rápido que no registraste la forma en que tus costillas crujieron espantosamente cuando tu cuerpo impacto a unos metros de distancia.

Quizás fue mejor así. No, definitivamente fue mejor así. Fue un milagro que sobrevivieras y la recuperación será horrible, así que, no necesitas los recuerdos exactos de lo que sucedió.

Cuando despertaste la noche, ya se había asentado hace mucho tiempo, lo notaste por la posición de la luna en su punto más alto, sentiste un dolor paralizante en tus extremidades y te costaba incluso tragar saliva para aliviar la incomodidad de tu boca al sentirse tan seca. Respirar era simplemente una pesadilla, sentías como si kilos y kilos de metal pesado aplastara tus pulmones e impedía que tomes una respiración apropiada.

Sin embargo, no tenías consciencia de ti mismo todavía, estarías llorando de agonía. Estabas entre la consciencia y la inconsciencia, es lo que te permitía registrar algunas voces que se perdían entre susurros y decían frases dispersas e incompletas que no podías entender.

“… Es nuevo… Seguro, nunca le había visto antes…”

“… ¿Le he visto… Estoy seguro, pero es similar también…”

“… El viejo maestro… Él probablemente sepa que…”

“¡Ten cuidado, bestia!… Podrías romper más de sus huesos si haces…”

“Vejestorio arrogante…”

“… ¿Es realmente necesario… Perdemos tiempo con esto…”

“… Si me das algo que me interese podría cazarlo…”

“Su única recompensa es que no los destierre a todos ustedes de esta montaña y…”

Cuando volviste a abrir los ojos otra vez todavía era de noche, lo notaste por la temperatura fría y la oscuridad que persistía aun cuando las ventanas se abrieron, el sonido de los grillos en un eco compartido y el baile de las luciérnagas en la ventana eran otro indicador de la hora actual. Ni siquiera intentaste levantarte, te sentías tan fatigado que eso serían imposible y el dolor en tu cuerpo también sería un impedimento en este punto.

Giraste la cabeza cuando escuchaste pasos acercándose y reconociste la figura de tu abuelo, su ceño fruncido flaqueo un segundo cuando sus ojos se abrieron con sorpresa al verte despertar. Parecía aliviado, pero contrariado con otras emociones que no podías identificar porque volvió a su semblante, quizá un poco más amable ahora.

“Abuelo…”, murmuraste con un hilo de voz áspera, probablemente no habías usado tu voz en un par de horas, “… Vine a visitarte, pero…”

“Está bien”, te hizo callar con un gesto de su mano mientras se sentaba junto a tu cuerpo, “No te esfuerces tanto por impresionarme”

Respiraste lentamente en un intento por respirar tanto como pudieras, sentías la necesidad de hacerlo, como si hace mucho que no respirabas con normalidad y tu cuerpo te lo exigía. Tu abuelo te observo al hacerlo, “Has estado inconsciente durante una semana”

Esa información te sorprendió muchísimo, ¿perdiste el conocimiento durante una semana completa? ¡Pero tenías recuerdos del día en que subiste la montaña, vagos recuerdo de tu encuentro con una criatura y una conversación distante, ¡¿Cuándo paso una semana?!

“Le informe a tu familia”, tu abuelo reconoció las preocupaciones en tus ojos, continuando antes de que pudieras hablar, “Cuide de ti toda la semana, pero aún no puedes irte por tu cuenta todavía. Te quedarás una semana más”

No pudiste decir nada en protesta a ello, ¿Cómo podrías? No tenías fuerza para discutir, mucho menos para bajar la montaña. Suspiraste con resignación y te acomodaste bajo las mantas que te protegían del frío.

“Tuviste suerte”, murmuro tu abuelo mientras alisaba tus sábanas, “Si él no hubiera aparecido para tratar de derribar a esa cosa, probablemente no habrías sobrevivido”

“¿De quién hablas?”, tu voz seguía siendo áspera, por lo que tu abuelo sostuve una taza con agua para que bebieras.

“Seguro lo sabes, alguien te lo habrá mencionado”, empezó el hombre mayor mientras tú bebías de la taza, “Hay ciertas criaturas que merodean por esta montaña… Demonios enormes con personalidades demasiado complejas para entenderlas… Muy misteriosos y agresivos”

Lo escuchaste con atención al tratar de aliviar tu curiosidad recién descubierta, “Tuviste la mala suerte de toparte con el más agresivo de ellos, Yujiro, una criatura iracunda y abominablemente fuerte. Probablemente, solo te derribo y golpeo mínimamente, esa explica por qué sigues con vida, pero aun así tan malherido”

“Alguno de los otros tres lo abra visto y se lanzó sobre él en busca de pelea, por una vez es bueno que esos tres idiotas odien tanto a Yujiro”, tu abuelo te explico al dejar la taza a un lado, “Sea como sea, ya estás en un lugar seguro. Recupérate pronto”

Te removiste inquietamente en tu sitio cuando escuchaste todo eso, ¿realmente todo lo que te dijeron era realmente cierto? ¿Hay onis viviendo en esta montaña? Dios, ni siquiera sabias como habías sobrevivido.

Se te revolvió el estómago al recordar esos enormes ojos rojos, no era una pesadilla, realmente estaba ahí afuera… Enorme, peligroso y despiadado… Buscando algo que destruir… Algún viajero descuidado o alguien con mucha mala suerte.

Como tú.

[kaurwreck]

regardless of people understanding if it was a joke or not (which it definitely was!) I think the point was no one needed the run down of why it’s a flare gun. but I appreciate your knowledge and understanding of the differences and the commitment to pointing it out 👍 it’s always impressive how much you know

God, this is such an annoying follow-up to what was already an uncharmingly ironic ask and I'm so fucking exhausted that I'm going to shed boundaries and good faith for a moment to express that I'd rather y'all just call me a cunt.

I don't know quite how to explain to you that the issue you have with me isn't because I don't know that it's a joke. I know people are joking. I just don't assume everyone is making the same joke premised on the same assumptions. I spoke to one subset of assumptions (that I had clearly explored myself) without precluding any other.

I didn't reblog the post because of an arbitrary commitment to pointing out differences nor because I thought everyone was mistaken in their handgun taxonomy and needed me to enlighten them. I do think some people were conflating the flare guns with firearms, given (i) I mistook them for a moment and I was under the impression that I counted as a people, and (ii) the alternative requires assuming that over a thousand people in an online, international animanga fandom community share the exact same, arbitrary understanding regarding the mechanics and classification of flare guns.

In idly considering the likelihood that other people were conflating flare guns with firearms, I realized I didn't actually know whether flareguns weren't firearms: I don't know their legal or technical classification, or if they could even be used as firearms in close enough range, or if they could be modified into functional firearms. I don't know anything about flare guns other than what I've picked up in passing from fiction. So I looked it up because I thought it was a compelling question and could make for a really fun speculative fight sequence between Kunikida and Fyodor.

I enjoyed the kernels I found, and while I've been told others may not care for the granular detail, it felt likely that someone else might find the gist interesting or clarifying, or might enjoy extrapolating the implications for Kunikida's position the way I have been given he is uniquely capable of and the most likely to abruptly modify a flare gun into a grenade. I'm also so, so sure that there was sincere ambiguity amid the joking, and I don't know why there wouldn't be, we are not born with a primordial understanding of flare guns' limited capacity for carnage. So, I shared a bite-sized version of my takeaways from what I read, which itself was not a lot.

The details I "run through" are how I keep my thoughts organized, and I sometimes post them to externalize them because I have ADHD and that's a memory tool that works for me. Also, otherwise, I would just be barking conclusions without contextualizing the facts I flagged as relevant and the implicit assumptions therein, which wouldn't leave much room for anyone to chat or disagree or brainstorm with me if they're interested.

All of this to say: I had fun learning about flare guns midmorning on a Thursday, and I liked the dialogue I had with the post's ambiguity. I've had an immensely stressful week, I'm not sleeping well and had then been feeling especially sluggish and anxious. But the process of prodding at the plausible literal and nonliteral implications of the joke brought me a spark of enjoyment and so for closure and out of fondness for the polyphonic, indirect conversation I had with myself and potentially others on the post or who might later see the post, I left something tangible as a happy little loose thread.

So, sure, no one needed the run down of flare guns. But I did! So, politely block me if it's agitating to you.

[natarice]

A3 - Event Story - Nomadic Bartender (2/11)

* = TL notes at the bottom of the post!

Guy: Haah... haah... are we there yet?

Guy's Father: Yep, here we are.

Guy: Wow, I can see so much of the town!

Guy's Father: It's a pretty good view from all the way up here.

*Guy: Oh, my shoes are untied.

*Guy's Father: Hm? You choose Mankai?

*Guy: No, I said my shoes are untied!

Guy's Father: Ah, I see. Right. Anyway, not a lot of people come here. It's your dad's secret spot.

Guy's Father: Hm, it should be passing by soon.

Guy: ?

Guy: Wow!

Guy's Father: Huge, right?

Guy: Yeah! Way more huge than my model plane!

Guy's Father: The airport's not far from here. Real planes are even more huge when you see one up close.

Guy: That's so cool. I want to try riding in one.

Guy's Father: You'll definitely get to someday. We'll go to the country where your mother was born.

Guy: When's someday? During next summer vacation?

Guy's Father: Ah, well, that might be a little soon.

Guy's Father: If I keep saving money, I might be able to make something work by the time Guy finishes elementary school...

Guy: Then, can we come here again? To see the plane?

Guy's Father: Sure thing. We'll come here together again, I promise.

---

Guy: ...

Guy: A nostalgic dream... I wonder if it's because I spoke to the charm yesterday.

Guy: I can feel the warmth from that memory... a memory I thought was gone forever, but maybe the charm helped bring it back.

Guy: Ever since I got that model plane for my birthday, I became interested in airplanes. My father brought me all the way out there just so I could see a real one.

Guy: I wonder if that promise can ever be fulfilled...

Guy: If so, maybe it would also be possible for my father to see me perform on stage someday.

---

Syu: Yo.

Guy: Welcome.

???: ...

Guy: Who might this be?

*Syu: This is Tohru, my father's former assistant.

Guy: Welcome in. It's a pleasure to meet you.

Tohru: ...

Syu: What's the matter?

Tohru: Ah, no... it's nothing. Just feeling a little timid now that I'm here.

Tohru: I've actually been curious about this bar for a while, but I never had the courage to come in. So I'm thankful for the invitation.

Syu: Oh, so you already knew about this place.

Tohru: Well, I'm interested in Zafran cuisine. It's rather rare around here, isn't it?

Guy: It is, yes.

Syu: You're a popular, well-regarded producer now. I'm sure you get plenty of invitations to go drinking.

Tohru: Haha, I suppose it's still a little hard for me to take in. I didn't have much money when I was younger.

Guy: You're a producer?

Tohru: Yes. Before Syu's father took me in, I was an actor. But it didn't work out at all...

Tohru: Then, I became his assistant and helped with production work, too. I was able to make many valuable connections during that time.

Guy: (An acting career that didn't work out. He sounds like my father.)

Guy: (Now that I think about it, my father would be about the same age as this man. It's possible they were actors around the same time, even.)

Guy: It sounds like meeting Otomiya's father was an important turning point for you, then.

Tohru: Yes, absolutely. I believe everyone has a place or position in this world that best suits them.

Guy: I wonder if my father ever found that for himself...

Tohru: Are you interested in theater?

Guy: Yes, I'm actually an actor.

Tohru: Oh, is that so!

Syu: He'll be the lead in an upcoming play. Would you like to go?

Tohru: Absolutely. Which theater company?

Guy: The Mankai Company. Do you know it?

Tohru: ...

Tohru: ... Yes, I do. How nostalgic. That troupe has been around for a long time.

Tohru: Years ago, just after they were first established, I went to see one of their plays with my son.

Guy: ...

Guy: ... He went to see the Mankai Company with his son... ? No, he can't be...

Syu: Oh, I didn't know that. The Mankai Company's one of my old haunts.

Tohru: I never mentioned it to you before, did I. It wasn't a play you performed in, after all.

Syu: Ah. Which play did you see back then?

Tohru: Hmm, it was--

Guy: ...

---

Tohru: It's getting late. I should be heading home, or my family will be worried.

Tohru: I feel so comfortable here that I lost track of time just chatting away.

Syu: It's great, right? You should become a regular here.

Tohru: If I can gather up my courage to come back by myself. Would it be all right if I stopped by again?

Guy: ... Yes, any time.

---

Guy: ...

Hisoka: ... Guy, you've been wiping that same glass for a while now.

Guy: ... So I have.

Hisoka: Did something happen? You've been a little weird since Syu came.

Guy: No, it's nothing. Don't worry about it.

Hisoka: ...

---

Guy: ...

Azuma: Talking to your father again?

Guy: No, not this time. Not exactly.

Azuma: Is that so?

Guy: ...

Guy: (There's too much overlap with my father. Could he really be... ?)

Guy: (I could ask for his full name. Wait, he said he has a family.)

Guy: (If that family includes a son, that would be who he saw the Mankai Company play with.)

Guy: (Or, after he and my mother divorced, he started a new family...

Guy: (In that case, I would only cause trouble for him if I tell him I'm his son.)

Guy: (I've thought a lot about the possibility of meeting my father again some day, but I never imagined something like this would ever happen...)

---

TL Notes

Citron-style jokes are hard... I did my best haha. If you're curious about the original joke/pun/whatever you call it, young Guy says でも、草がぼうぼう… (demo, kusa ga boubou... | but the grass is all overgrown...) and his dad goes ん？春夏秋冬？ (n? shunkashuutou? | Hm? The four seasons?)

Not 100% sure Tohru's name is read this way. I believe it's the most common reading, but other possibilities include Tetsu, Akira, Osamu, and Itaru... well, the last one is pretty unlikely in this case!

Previous | Next

[keelt9]

Chapter 6

Pear

Masterlist

I lost my mind, that’s what probably everyone in the control room is thinking and I know that, however, it’s now or never.

“Skyhook, in position to begin.” I hear Hondo complain about how stupid this is.  

“Sky, please get back when they find out that…” He stops and I hear Cyclone speak. 

“Find out what?” 

They will push me out of the navy, I can feel it, it seems in my hands I have waterfalls and for a moment I feel cold all over my body.

“Sir, I’m in position for the test.” I can imagine him looking at Hondo with his mouth straight in a line as he walks to the console. 

“You’re what?” One more time Cyclone spoke but this time to me, I switched off the communication, so I can put the plane in position. 

“Ready in 3…2…1.” 

The test was a tough one, the same flight plan as the mission for the uranium plant, just with a little bit of twist; the G force mustn’t overpast 9.7.

Let’s be honest, it's too hard actually but I already got into this, besides, I’ll be dead if I don’t get this right, literally. 

“Dropping bombs.” In the middle of the lift, for a second everything turned black, when I recovered, just a little bit, I just heard Hondo screams. 

“BULL’S EYE!” I smile to myself, still knowing I have a punishment and reprimand waiting for me. 

When I get down, I see Hangman, Hondo and Cyclone standing in the hangar; the difference between Hangman and Hondo with Cyclone is that he has his arms crossed. 

Cyclone has bullets in his eyes. “Lieutenant, that was reckless, stupid and immature, you could kill yourself in there, actually in the circumstances of the test you die up there.” I see him straight to his eyes, the moment for becoming frightened has already passed. “There will be consequences and you know that.” 

<He’s going to kick me out of here.> It's the only thought I have. 

“150 pushups, and 20 laps to the runaway.” He says to be before turning away and walking inside the building, still he stops, I see the glimpse of a smile appear on his face. “That’s the Skyhook I've been looking for.” He points with his head. “You better begin before the runaway starts to crowd.”

I observed Jake and Hondo who had big smiles on their faces. “Let’s go Sky, this will be long.” Hondo says walking to the runaway unable to contain a giggle and Jake breathing in for the first time in more than a minute.

With the sun hiding that day, I finished with some mechanical tests. 

“Good job Sky.” The officer pats my shoulder pointing at the end of my day, I remain sitting under the plane just admiring the sunset. 

“I bet I’m in more trouble than I think, huh Riley?” This time I have a smile on my face. At the end of the week, wherever the result is, I fly like the old times, and if I fail, I’ll keep that memory. Me one more time in the sky.

I feel Cyclone eyes on me when I cross the main entrance before I go, but I smile this time; I know at home one more scolding is waiting for me, so better rush it. 

Like I expected, my father is waiting for me in his office. My mother whispers  to me in the entrance, she doesn't even know if he is angry or happy. 

“What did you do this time Y/N?” She asked me for the last time in front of my father's office; at that moment he opened the door and answered for me. 

“She stole a navy airplane.” I scrunch my nose and lower my head. 

“She what?!” Was the last thing we heard before he closed the door with me inside.

“Well…” Jesus, like when I got in trouble in high school, he walks slowly to be in front of me, hands in his back.

“No one will let me fly in a while, no after the mess I made the first time, and I just have this week to show them that I can be in the air one more time.” He didn’t say anything. “I know what I did is wrong, dad, and actually is pretty stupid but…I don’t have time.” He looks so terrifyingly quiet. “I apologize for stealing it, but I’m not apologizing for my way of flying.” He took a deep breath. 

“You’re lucky to be so good.” And with those words, he smiles a little. “Even though you have a punishment here too.” He walks to the other side of his desk, searching between all his papers.

I knew it, he smiled and threw me the keys to the garage. “I think the house needs a good paint coat.” 

“All the house?” My eyes wide open begging for mercy. 

“Even the fence.”

The last week is killing my neurons, and it is easy to notice. The tests became harder and harder, but this time I’m determined to end this month with my head up high, whatever the result is, and everyone knows that.

“Tomorrow is the last day kiddo.” Jake says while I remove the helmet from my head. “Try to rest a little bit, ok?” I smile at him and nod, before he enters to change his clothes. “See ya.” 

I hear the voices of Phoenix and Rooster walking to the hangar; since he saw me the last time on the beach, I’ve been avoiding him, why? Because I feel embarrasses not for, he sees me cry, because I treat him like an old friend, when is my superior.

I have no way out, so I walk… I try to walk with normality to the dressing room, but of course, Nat won’t let me go that easy.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Nat says and holds my arm. “Bangman is near to you and I’m a stranger?” I smiled at her. 

Nat points to Rooster with open eyes.“I get it from this boy, but me?” I laugh and hug Nat. 

“Sorry Nat, but I've been so busy that I hardly have time to breathe.” I split, all the time avoiding Rooster eyes. “But I hear you have a deployment next week, that’s great!” That high note wasn’t necessarily because she looked at me with intrigue.

“Well, I hope to be here when your results are ready, right Rooster?” She looks at Bradley and I put all my efforts into not looking at him, thanks to heaven, Payback interven, claiming they are needed in another hangar. 

“What takes you so long?” He asks when he reaches us, I giggle and say goodbye to them.

Even though I try to deny it, my heart is beating so fast.

*

If Phoenix had guns in her eyes Payback would be dead as soon as his voice echoed in the hangar.

“Payback you’re dead meat.” Nat says walking where he was standing but before, she turns around. “And you, if you really like her at least you should say hi to her.” She takes a deep breath. “Remember Bradley, if she gets the approval, she won’t stay here too long, and God knows where they will send her.” 

After the beach my feelings intensified, Phoenix and Bob noticed right away, every day I can, I’ll watch her test from the control room but I never dared to appear in front of her after one of them.

Dad and mom will be laughing at me.

“Rooster, I’m talking seriously.” Nat warned the last time before going and killing Payback, getting more mad to roll my eyes at her.

“I know.” I whisper to myself. 

[sandrayprotector]

Ray from the perspective of an addict and mentally ill person

TW // addiction, death, depression, self-harm, drug abuse

Addiction from the POV of a [former] addict (prescription medicine, alcohol, deodorant, self-harm) and the parallels to Ray and his behavior.

I'll be totally open and vulnerable here, I'll be honest about my experiences and about the pros and cons which I have lived through. And I will be drawing the parallels between my former behavior and how Ray acts and pointing out why he might act certain ways and I'll give you the POV of someone who lost a loved one to addiction as well.

So please proceed with caution ⚠️

What is addiction? When does it start?

Clinically there is a perfect definition for that. It is an illness (yet many don't seem to view it as that)

But personally I can't really tell you the moment, the one thing that made me realize I'm an addict.

It's a slow process and that's making it so hard to realize.

I've been on ADHD meds since i was 7 years old, hence didn't really have the chance of a sober life from the start. I was misdiagnosed, the ADHD pills didn't really do much for me other than make me addicted and give me a cushion that wrapped me, shielding me from my own feelings.

Once that cushion was taken away from me, I spiraled. I was 11 years old. I tried to find something new, something to deal with my newly found emotions, something to deal with some trauma I've experienced in that time and I started abusing ibuprofen(which I found In my parents drawer) and started self-harming (which as well can be classed as addiction).

I started drinking when I was 12, black out drunk the first time when I was 13, the same time I started smoking cigarettes. As I said, I never really had a sober life. At age 14 I started using deodorant, the spray ones, inhaling the toxines. It helped me - for 30 minutes. Deodorant is so, so dangerous you can die, the first time you're using it. It's not some soft drug or anything it's life threatening and 4 of my friends went into the hospital because of it. I was "lucky" enough it never happened to me, maybe it should have maybe I had stopped.

At age 15/16 my excessive alcohol consume finally caught the eye of my little brother, begging me to stop come home pissed drunk nearly everyday. I didn't listen, I thought I had everything under control or didn't want to admit I fell in a rabbit hole. I was on 4 different anti-depressants at that time, the addiction already had taken a toll on me, and my mental health declined further. Anti-depressants and Alcohol are a toxic combination, it wasn't a very bright time.

This went on until I was 18 and had it's peak when I was 19, living alone with my boyfriend (at that time) for the first time in my life. Waking up, drinking 1 Liter of box red wine, smoking a cigarette, taking my pills, go out, drink more, abuse deodorant, pass out, repeat. In between self-harm was still something I used to control my feelings. and I don't really have many memories of that time it's all just a big blur. My family and friends had distanced from me for a while at that point. I was a burden, didn't listen to them, began being verbally violent towards them and even physically violent at some point. I was a horrible person.

I had a turning point when I turned 20, I found a person willing to put up with me, reaching their hand out to me, willing to help and destroy themselves in the run. Well it wasn't all sunshine in the beginning we abused alcohol and w33d together, getting high almost everyday, it was like a ritual for both of us. The only positive outcome was that my self-harming became less and less over time. I stopped using my anti-depressants (never NEVER do that like me without going to a doctor). And my life seemed to get better.

I started getting horror trips from the w33d and stopped using it. I started to get pretty heavy hangovers from the alcohol my body was at a point where it began to crumble. And finally, my mind snapped and I realized I needed to change ( after having lost almost all my friends and family) after destroying my body to a point where I still to date have problems. I was 22 at that point.

I got into therapy and worked my way out.

I'm still an addict, I still think about almost all the time. When i drink alcohol it's very hard to stop myself from over-drinking, I still self-harm, still take more ibuprofen than prescribed but I'm good, as far as i can be. Addiction is hell, it's messing up your life and leaves you with a blur of memories that don't feel like they're yours. It takes a toll on your body and mind. It's really like burning in hell fire.

The POV of someone who lost a loved one to addiction

I was 13 when my first love overdosed on heroin. He was the very first person who genuinely showed me love, told me I was perfect the way I was.

I got to know him when I was 11, after I was assaulted in a Park. He was 12 at the time, turning 13 shortly after.

He already was smoking and drinking when I got to know him. And looking back it seems that we spiraled together, he fell harder than I did.

He used weed for the first time on his 13th birthday. and on his 14th birthday he was already addicted to Heroin.

We had great times together, I loved him unconditionally. We weren't together (we never got together) but we cared for each other deeply. It was a love on another level something that only comes once in a lifetime.

He changed. Not only his looks ; he got more skinny, his eyes (beautiful eyes, so beautiful) were sunken in, his skin was ashy etc. But his personality changed as well. He was still a wonderful person, still caring, still the perfect boy (in my eyes). But he was careless, his life didn't seem to mean much to him anymore. He was rarely sober, rarely able to stand or walk straight. He was tired all the time, and if he was on turkey ( withdrawal) he became unbearable, even violent at times.

It was heaven and hell being close to him. Like Ikarus burning his wings on the sun honestly. And I was only a child as well, I was only 11, 12, 13...

You can only do so much when someone you love struggles with addiction and I was an active addict myself, even though I wasn't aware of it at that time. I was a heavy drinker, self-harmed. We were so toxic for each other, so, so toxic.

And the sad part was that no one noticed. No one noticed us spiraling, his fresh needle marks in the arms. Or they turned a blind eye, kept telling themselves that everything was alright, I don't know.

His aunt (he didn't live with his parents) saw him as burden, told him he was a burden to her and her family. He took that to his heart. He often cried because he asked himself what he did wrong to be treated like that. We (me and his best friend) didn't have an answer for him.

When he turned 16, I didn't know that it would be the last birthday we would be celebrating together - only 3 days later he was dead. He only had the chance to be 16 for 3 days. 16 years and 3 days. I knew him for 3 years and 2 weeks.

I found him. He overdosed in a dirty bathroom, all alone. There was no one there to help him. And I blame myself till now (14 years later) that if I had arrived just a few minutes earlier, if I had slept over like I had promised the day before, he would still be here.

I've never been to his grave, I didn't go to his funeral. I physically can't.

I miss him so damn much, every day.

And the worst is that not even that stopped me from my addictions, it didn't make me realize that I was slowly approaching the same fate. I would say it made it worse, on my 14th birthday I smoked weed for the first time, 2 month after his death. And I only spiraled from there.

He wasn't the best and most loyal friend. He was an idiot at times, angry and violent at others. He stole multiple times from me, because he didn't have enough money to feed his addiction. He picked fights, randomly without reasoning and very uncalled for.

But he was my idiot. Mine. Maybe I can't be objective when talking about him. Maybe my lingering feelings want me to see him in a better light.

I did suffer a lot in this friendship, wanted to call it quits often. I even told him once or twice that he's destroying me, but I won't ever leave him.

I found a letter after I found him. I still keep that letter. "Princess, I needed to die so you can live." i never hated him more than in that moment. But now that I'm an adult, I understand that maybe he was right.

I'm sorry for rambling, sorry for making you read this confession/cry idk what to call it.

I loved an addict, I loved a wonderful boy who took one false turn. I lost an addict, I lost the shell of the wonderful who Nico once was.

Parallels between my experience/behavior and Ray's in only friends

Okay let's look at Ray's background.

The first parallel I want to point out is Trauma.

Ray's Mother's Death - drinking to death

In my case it was a friend overdosing in front of my eyes, I found him just like Ray did with his mother

I was 11 turning 12, I think Ray was around that same age, maybe a year or 2 older.

My friend died age 16 with a needle in his arm. Addiction and death don't know age.

Okay so, 1st point, experiencing trauma at a young age.

2nd from what I saw Ray didn't really get help with his trauma, just the same as me, driving him to depression (more severely). If you have no help, especially at that age, you WILL spiral

3rd :

Your friends start to distance themselves (which is their right in some way)

My friends dealt with me the same ways Ray's friends deal with him. They tried, they really did try to help me, but they were just teenagers/young adults themselves

You can't expect someone that age to help an addict.

BUT what they and my friends could've done, would be sending us to a psych ward, you can do that if it's a life threatening situation, which Ray is in and which I was in as well.

4th

Anger issues when being drunk.

Most of the time we see Ray as this cute puppy with big eyes, but the moment he drinks, he has violent tendency.

Which I can just say I did as well. Alcohol doesn't numb you, it brings your feelings to the surface

Feelings you've bottled up deep inside, trying to numb them with other things (in Ray's case probably c0c4ine, in my case deodorant)

5th

Being clingy to strangers

this may surprise you but I can totally get why Ray clinged to Sand after he helped him that one time.

You're just such a sucker for human interaction, physical touch, feeling worthy, you really don't care from where you get it

In my case even though I am asexual I slept around a lot at that time, trying to get that little bit of love no one could give me

And seeing how Ray acts, it's the same for him as well

6th

Manipulation

Yes Ray is manipulative, not in the way Boston is, but still.

He knows how to get what he wants and knows exactly what to do to reach his goal.

As an an addict your life basically becomes a lie at one point or the other.

You lie to yourself, the people around you, and sometimes even build your own world in which you can enable yourself.

And all of that while being 40% aware of what you're doing (Ray knows exactly how to get Sand to do what he wants)

7th

Playing it down

"Just for the little sip"

"I'm a light weight"

"I'm not that drunk"

Constantly playing down the severity of the problem is something I did as well and we've seen it from Ray more than once.

8th

crying for help but don't actually want help

Ray not once but multiple times basically cried for help, not only the obvious (bathtub scene) but the time when he told Sand why his mother died, just when he poured alcohol, the times he claimed he's just a burden and so on. All of those are indirectly cries for help, yet no one notices.

And I promise even if they would try to help, Ray would just turn it down. Because why would he want to lose something that helps him get through life.

I was the same

Addiction isn't black and white. It's often Grey. Addiction can be your best friend and worst nightmare.

Addiction isn't something you can battle alone, and the battle will never stop.

It's even more dangerous if you have other mental issues as well

Ray definitely suffers from depression and maybe a personality disorder. Anxiety could also be a possibility, that guy is severely sick.

As in my case I have a few diagnosis, borderline, anxiety and depression being the most severe.

Being in Ray's shoes is not an easy walk. It's exhausting, it's pulling you down. And I can totally relate to his su1cidal tendencies because I was at that point more than once as well.

It's hell being an addict, even more so when your whole social bubble basically enables your behavior (Ray's Friends do that, mine did as well)

And it's so easy pulling everyone down the hole with you. Everyone will burn themselves on you, they will get hurt.

You can't expect a healthy relationship to someone with a severe addiction, they're toxic and they will kick you out of your comfortable life.

But they're sick and they need help, not beating them down when they're already on the ground.

I hope I could give you a little more insight and if you have questions please don't shy away and ask me whatever you want 🥺🥰

You're worthy, you're strong, you're amazing, I'm proud of you and wish you nothing but the best in life

[ampholight]

read it fic in one sitting, it was beautiful!! really loved the Tobirama/Kagami dynamic in it, it was so interesting with all the nuances and complexities alluded to of their relationship and how they grew and it's just <33 it makes my aro heart sing

Nonbinary Izuna that combines traditionally feminine and traditionally masculine styles in a wonderfully genderfuck manner? Adore !! (I've always been a nonbinary Izuna proponent, but I think I take nb Izuna in the opposite direction to yours @ scene "I'm not a woman." where I usually make them bigender). Also I LOVE LOVE LOVE how they styled the Kanzashi. All the details about their earrings too... with the glass ones made by Tobirama in the epilogue... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA /pos

Speaking of nonbinary Izuna, now isn't Izuna glad they got the version of Tobirama that was already hit on the head by Hikaku (/j ik it was only threatened and they never got there but the image of it is SOOOOO <3 it's just hilarious I support Hikaku rights and Hikaku wrongs) so that they didn't have to browbeat him into nonbinary acceptance themself? But also! This does make me wonder what if things happened differently and Izuna did meet a version of Tobirama they had to browbeat/explain things to? Bc it seems Tobirama wasn't always understanding... (Hikaku you have done the world a service).

Also, do they ever end up establishing Konoha? Or does that just never happen (again) in this verse?

posted with permission, and also: spoilers for mint, by variety! for anyone who wanted to read it but hasn't had a chance to yet.

i was really surprised by how much reaction kagami got! both positive and negative. he sprouted a lot of discussion in the comments lol. i added him in initially because i needed tobirama to have something to lose; in canon, i feel like it's a little too easy for him to choose death when he does because he doesn't have much left anyway. (and then he doesn't need to feel accountable for konoha's decline.) in mint, i wanted to subvert this, so that he has a lot left to lose but also is forced to live and navigate his own failures. it was also important to have tobirama at 54 be different enough from tobirama at 24 to cause tension with hashirama and mito (like when he voluntarily assists with childcare, because now he knows how exhausting it is).

from there i just conceptualized kagami as someone who could tolerate a jaded, reclusive version of tobirama. i imagine them as genuinely happy the way they were! i think aro is a fair way to interpret them, because they were life partners but not romantically involved, even though they might have been in better/different circumstances? kagami put tobirama first, and tobirama put the children first, which is why he was the kind of person kagami respected to begin with! (and i also love to toy with the idea that tsunade in canon probably still has memories of kagami? someday i'll write a fic where he was the one who taught her to read while everyone else was too busy for her.)

i don't normally go for trans or non-binary izuna, because i think there's a lot of comedy to be derived from letting him be straight and/or cis and just also deranged and fixated lmao, but in mint i thought the contrast was too good to pass up! the main reason tobirama is drawn to them is because he doesn't know anything about who uchiha izuna is as a person, despite having strong memories of working with everyone else in the future. i thought tobirama going back to the past and finding out izuna was trans and he never knew and nobody ever told him was an interesting jumping point for the narrative. (and also, there are fewer people more unhinged about 54 yr old men than 24 yr old they/thems with daddy issues.)

the kanzashi was a fun thing for me to write around because tobirama really just thought "thing is beatiful = izuna is beautiful = thing reminds me of izuna," but it's so absurdly and overwhelmingly feminine and dainty and like. obviously designed for someone to wear at court that izuna has no clue what to do with it LMAO. they appreciated it as a gift because it was clearly deeply expensive, and worn gifts play into public displays of affection/attachment, but it probably took them weeks to figure out how to style it...

i'm glad someone noticed the earrings - izuna would have been too hesitant and reluctant to make an uchiha charm for tobirama because they wouldn't want to step all over tobirama's memories of kagami. but tobirama wouldn't have the same mental block, and has been entrenched enough in uchiha customs from life with kagami that he would know how they're made.

on hikaku and tobirama.... tobirama himself is gay, and he's never struggled with the idea of people biologically transitioning, because he meshed easily with the idea of like. having a goal. making a correction. but he struggled (and still kind of struggles) with the nebulous nature of gender as a construct? hikaku eventually got through to him by snarkily being like "you're too stupid to understand" (LOL?) and tobirama couldn't handle perceiving himself as less intelligent.... nowadays tobirama just accepts and respects whatever someone tells him is true about their gender, even if he cant grasp the nuance himself. i think if izuna was confronted with a tobirama that hadn't done all the work yet, they probably just wouldn't come out to him bc he's a hassle lmao. they'd just let him assume they're a man who dresses weird to save themself the energy.

in this verse, there's no literal konoha (in that there's a martial city under the control of the daimyo that houses all the shinobi clans in the land of fire). tobirama sort of blames the scope of konoha getting too big to manage for it falling apart. and the uchiha have an easier time getting their needs met when they aren't in competition with everyone else for public policy. so the uchiha and senju stay on traditional uchiha-senju land, and just form a permanent half merger between them. in this way, they don't need to be under the direct control of the daimyo, because they're not a city-state - they're just two clans in their own traditional territory. the academy is open to everyone, though, as a sign of good faith to the rest of the clans, so nobody gets too intimidated by the two strongest clans allying.

thank you so much for your comment! and giving me the opportunity to talk more about the behind the scenes stuff - i love talking about mint and could go on for ages about all the production of it!!

[66sharkteeth]

Hello! Idk if you are still faking asks but of so thank you in advance if this gets answered!

I'm not gonna lie, it's a bit disturbing how the majority is cheering on Rex and the side he's taken. Though that side might have some points, I just can not see them as people I'd like to ever support or think they are doing it with good intentions in mind. But anyway, I apologize if I just can't understand or root for this gang. I know things aren't black or white but i just see more bad than good. And I hope that's ok.

The only think I dint understand and kind of made me not like Rex so much anymore is that when he is fighting Desmond he mentions something along the lines of "you already met my scyon" and that just raised more questions for me. One of the mane reasons Rex felt hurt and betrayed and thought it was all Desmon and Lys's fault for "betraying him" was because he couldn't under why they would turn on him (it was when he still didn't know about the other part of himself). But now he knows, he knows its the Scyon that hurt and attacked them. Hence why they had such a reaction. I've seen people stating that yes, Rex was betrayed! And I just...I don't see it at all especially when the og gang had every right to react the way they did.

This monnet kind of just made me distance myself from Rex I guess. Because he knew the scyon was the one to hurt the gang, the reason why they reacted the way they did and yet that does nothing for him. I don't think this is bad writing, nit even the slightest. Cause I know some people in real life would have such a reaction. We are flawed beings and some weren't thought or leaned how act to know their actions or way of thinking is flawed etc or self centered. It's a process everyone can go threw in different ways. So I hope maybe Rex one day can learn more as he goes.

But yeah, was there something behind the scenes we didn't see for Rex to not even question that the Scyon hurt Desmond or for him to not even care about that fact?

I still love the comic a lot and its one of 2 other webtoons I follow religiously and have given money for passes! The art and world building I feel like is really good and has made me so inspired to make a fan art and fic for this world (I'm just too afraid and shy to share I guess but I'd love to one day!).

I hope you have a good day and I apologize for any speaking or grammar mistakes I've made. English isn't my first language and I'm also dyslexic 😅

Tbh, I think the only people who are 100% wrong are the ones who think one side is 100% right.

Like you said, the situation isn't black and white (heck, it's even one of the major themes of the story), and both sides have points and flaws, some bigger than others. I know people are having fun cheering for Rex's "corruption arc" (I even love to tease about it), but that's exactly what it is- a corruption arc.

Rex has points and fair criticism, but it's important to also remember the environment he's in. He's Blan Corp's prized pig that they need to keep happy until they get that memory. Other than Bag Girl, Rex is basically surrounded in an echo chamber of yes-men. So no, you didn't really miss anything. Rex is just currently in an environment where everyone is telling him "Yeah! It WAS abusive of Desmond to make you do all those chores!! What a jerk! >:(" and Rex going "yeah, you're right!! I am the victim here! Tell me more."

He's with the villains now and there is a lot of manipulation* going on.(*Side note: Mostly from Jericho and his Scion, to be clear. You could argue Nia as well, but I kind of maintain that she is just as manipulated and in a kind of equally tough position. Remember, Blan Corp is the ticket to getting her mom back and she's kind of in just as big of an echo chamber of "human bad, blank superior" as Rex)

That said, please don't give up hope on him haha. Rex can get a really sharp tongue when he's pissed (as seen in the latest episode with his encounter with Lyss), but he's still the same Rex at heart. He could never take the steps that Jericho is willing to take, and I... Tried to make that clear in ep 133 with Desmond's criticism of Rex's changes. Desmond asked if he really has it in his (half-human) heart to follow in Jericho's foot steps, and I like to think (most of us) know he doesn't- At least not as far as Jericho. Desmond planted the seed of doubt in ep 133 and I don't intend to just...ignore that seed in my writing of what's coming up.

TLDR: Yeah! Rex is being a jerk right now after a lot of manipulation, gaslighting, and just all around anxiety. But that's what a corruption arc is. Only time will tell if he starts to realize what a jerk he's being, but I certainly didn't show him hesitating after what Desmond said because it went in one ear and out the other. That's definitely going to be living rent free in the back of his mind for now.

[fantasmalresplendent]

So you've got to write a sympathy card for your boss's dog. Or comment on a post announcing the death of your distant uncle. Or go to your partner's grandmother's funeral. But what do you even say to the people left in the wake of tragedy?

Please consider, my personal* list of dos and don'ts for expressing your condolences to the grieving.

Do... Think of your favorite memories of that person. Even something small like what they often wore.

Example: "The cake they baked for the charity auction was one of the best bundt cakes I've ever had."

Example: "When I think of [passed person], I remember how they always had fun sweaters to wear on Christmas."

Intended effect: Grief is a grey cloud that surrounds the mind and blocks out light. Reminding the person grieving of something specific and positive associated with the deceased helps them remember it too. It also gives them comfort that that person, who is physically gone from the world, is not gone from everyone's minds or hearts.

Do... Consider how they passed, the relationship to the person you're consoling, and how that person you're consoling has talked about them/their death.

Example (the relationship was fraught): "This must be a difficult time for you. I am wishing for you lots of rest and peace of mind."

Example (the deceased passed from a long, difficult illness): "Though they will be terribly missed, I'm glad to know they are finally at peace."

Intended effect: Considering the context of how the person passed and how the griever feels about it will make them feel like you aren't just saying words you've heard before to make yourself comfortable. A common phrase that may work well in one situation may work terribly in another.

Do... Question your own feelings about the death. What was your relationship to the deceased? Do you also feel sad for this person's passing? Or do you just want to provide comfort for the grieving person?

Example (you are affected by the death): "I wish I could give them one last hug, but I'm so glad to have known them for as long as I did."

Example (you didn't know the deceased well but you knew them casually): "I was so sorry to hear of their passing. I hope you are doing well and taking care of yourself."

Example (you never met the deceased): "I am sorry for your loss, I am thinking of you and your family."

Intended effect: People who are grieving can feel incredibly alone in their grief, especially if the loss was great. If you are also affected by the death, by all means express it (sensitively), because the griever will feel less isolated in their feelings. Even if you yourself are not affected, you can still lessen their isolation by expressing care towards the griever.

Do... Let silence speak for you. If the griever is a hugger, a few words and a long hug may do more good than 1,000 words ever could.

Don't... Bring up religion or an afterlife if you do not know what the person grieving believes, or they know you do not believe it yourself. "I'm praying for you" may be appropriate for some, but "I'm thinking of you" is a safer bet.

Don't... Say phrases like "everything happens for a reason" or "God has a plan for us all" unless the griever has already expressed this attitude around this specific death.

Don't... Say platitudes you don't mean or that are insincere to a point where it would be obvious. For example, do not say "they were a light to us all" if you spoke to the deceased maybe twice, or they were a chronic grump.

Don't... Assume that the person who is grieving doesn't feel anything negative or complicated about the deceased, unless you are extremely close with the griever. Even someone you know on a basic level may not confide in you their negative feelings about the person who passed, especially if they were a close relative. If you are unsure about the nature of the relationship, focus on the griever and express care towards them rather than sorrow for the loss itself.

Don't... Try to fix or solve anything. Be present, be warm, be understanding, and you will do just enough to maybe ease some small fraction of the pain.

Don't... Be 100% positive. It's tempting to try and cheer someone up by not dwelling on anything bad or uncomfortable, but that's more isolating than anything else. It also signals to the griever that you yourself are uncomfortable, which isn't incredibly helpful.

Don't... Be 100% morose. The person grieving may crack a joke, and it may be a dark one, but just go with it and laugh along. The ridiculous is made even moreso in the context of tragedy, and the person grieving will always appreciate/remember any points of levity they had in an otherwise dark time.

Don't... Be afraid to say anything at all, even if it's unoriginal. A simple "I'm thinking of you" is better than silence.

*I approached this topic from the headspace of someone grieving a complicated but profound loss, years after the fact. Trying to remember how it felt to be freshly grieving myself, I tried to be truthful but not too specific. If you have any other tips as someone who is familiar with grief, feel free to add. If you disagree with my list, then we simply process grief differently and I encourage you to make your own post. Thanks for reading 💚

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Hello! List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers :D P.S. You don't have to share this with anyone dear mascot. Just share some joyful thoughts with us.

Awww thank you lovely maggot!! Alright, joyful thoughts, let me see. I've already said a lot of things, I'll give you random weird memories instead. Have some trans positive experiences, because they are sorely needed. I'm thinking about Crowley when she's presenting female and that gives me happy vibes and I will pass them on.

For reference, I'm a trans guy, he/him, I haven't transitioned but apparently I stink of boy anyway. Here are two of my Chaotic Tales of Gender:

When I first realised that (at that point) my gender was fluid and not female, I'd gone to a bakery. The baker saw me and said, What would you like, sir? I asked for an egg puff, and when he heard my voice (which is usually very ambiguous) he panicked a bit and said Oh sorry, ma'am.

I, being a little shit, smirked and said Oh, it's sir, actually, and the poor bloke panicked even more, finished the transaction quickly, and as I was retreating he yelled desperately after me, Have a nice day, sir!

I waved cheerfully and walked out like I hadn't just given him the most stressful moment of his week.

I also used to cause fights at metro stations when I presented male, because there are separate security checks for women and men, and no one was prepared for my unhinged brand of gender.

Tired of negotiating, one day I took a hot pink ribbon (that I called my AFAB ribbon) and tied it around my hair in a bow, and marched to the women's check because, well, it's dangerous being trans here. But the security guard at the men's check yelled EXCUSE ME SIR, GENTS OVER HERE, and who was I to argue?

After I went through the men's check and was waltzing off to the platform, I heard the women's guard screaming THAT WAS A GIRL at the men's guard, and him yelling something indistinguishable back, and other staff joining in. Very nice.

The fact that these stories are the more mild ones is insane; the amount of chaos I've accidentally caused because of my Crowley-style gender is quite unprecedented. Remind me to tell y'all about the children who argued over my gender and also the worried cab driver.

@our-transmasculine-experience I feel like I should tag you here :")

All the love to my trans and gender-wiggly maggots, you're so valid and I'm sure Crowley would be proud of us.

[errornameredacted]

through thick and thin, i'll be here

note: this isn't about the actual life series, just a rp server based on them (the one I've been insane about for the last 2 months)

Bdubs had grown used to the shadows that curled and twisted, stretched out as if they are just short of reaching something most desirable. He'd seen them many a night, watching them warp and disfigure with the setting sun. Like the sun that ever so slowly dropped right now. Bdubs was sat on a little patch of grass, one of the very few not covered in flowers or weeds, head rolled back to embrace the golden glow. It was just reaching twilight. It wasn't very often he gave himself a break like this, so he made sure to soak up the moment. The way the clouds drifted through the air, the way the leaves danced with the light breeze. His hand dug into the ground, but no dirt was lifted. Ah. Bdubs had forgotten he was a ghost.

The last few days had been...quite the ride. It was another on of the games, with the watchers monitoring their every move. But this one was different. Not everyone felt that pull, that need, that bloodlust. Only some had that little voice that told them to burn the world to the ground. They were given the name "The Hands," and they had one mission: leave no one alive. And there was only one other difference, but it would change everything for everyone, Hand or not. There was no second chances, or third chances , or any for that matter. One life, that's it. And, of course, Bdubs lost it. Skizz had somehow made his way into the Crastle, and it was like killing a fish in a barrel. He'd tried to defend himself, but there was no point. A 6'1 behemoth of a man versus a 5'4 stick isn't a fight up for debate.

Which is why he's sitting here now, the light passing through his semi-transparent body, most notably the ebbing gash ripped through his gut. Void only knows why it hasn't closed yet, though it's probably a dead thing. But a positive (depending whether your a glass half full kinda guy) is that things like food, water and, most obviously, sleep. He didn't do anything incredible during the night, just watched the mobs stumble around brainlessly. And watched over Cleo, of course.

Once everyone was gone, when the town lost its final stand, only Cleo was left. She never could die, so they left her to rot. Only the ghosts could stay with her, but they all went their own ways. Bdubs didn't have anything against that, they had all been through absolute hell, but he just couldn't leave Cleo. He had nowhere else to go anyways. So, he just, kind of, stayed. He stayed by her side, desperately trying to play a part, even though the credits have already rolled.

Cleo was alone. Well, mostly, but we don't talk about Skizz (no no no no), and Bdubs and Sausage stayed with her. She was nothing but a shell of the person she was. No more cocky remarks, no more piercing laughter, just hatred and fire. The flower valley was the first to burn, the memorials of the fallen lost in the blaze. Next it was the crumbled remains of Dogwarts, then Monopoly Mountain, and the simple but Shelby and Katherine lived in, and the Plainer's house. Last of all was the Crastle, tore down and built back up, Bdubs could only watch as it fell once again.

There was nothing left for Cleo then, so she left it behind. All over the world, she wander hoping for a way to end her misery, but the two ghosts still followed her. Now, Bdubs can't speak for Sausage, but for him, staying with Cleo was a easy choice. He had made a promise to her, they're still a team, and that means no abandoning the other. Despite only talking twice since coming back to this hellhole, despite her tearing down the one thing that distracted Bdubs from the chaos outside, despite everything, he stayed.

Cause they're still a team, right?

Right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

soooooo i did a thing m'lao. I wrote this in like, 2 hours in the car and. honestly, im happy with it. planning a sequel now, it's probably exactly what you think it'll be.

[kindred-sims]

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🤓🤔💔 feel free to answer for both!

Gladly!

I'll start with Will for this one --

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 FAMILY WITH MOTHER, FATHER, SON AND DAUGHTER — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

So out of the immediate family that I've mentioned so far, Will has his parents -- Margaret and Albert, alongside his brother Samuel who is younger than him by five years. Its an admittedly rather strained relationship, though most of that strain comes from Will's unsettled arguments with his father. He also does have grandparents -- although they aren't living, but he does have fond memories of his grandfather Charles, enough that he would end up naming his first son after him.

🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy?

Will is not really the social type, much as he tries. He's always enjoyed his own space and his own freedom, which is part of why he and Aggie moved all the way out to Chestnut Ridge in the first place. He likes the seclusion, and that the neighbors aren't as nosy as they were back in Brindleton Bay. He's never been one for parties or for social events in general, but he does genuinely try to go to them since they make Aggie happy, and he's always keen to do things that make his wife happy.

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

Will can always be found whistling or humming the tune to any old song throughout the day -- My Wild Irish Rose in particular is one such recurring tune. Its a special song for he and Aggie, as it was the one he heard her singing on the day they met. If he hears her singing it -- or any other song before he leaves to work in the mornings, that tune stays with him the rest of the day and thus he can't help but start humming it himself.

Oh, and he also has a rather distinct and loud laugh, though he'll deny it no matter how much Aggie says so.

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

Oooh boy, now this is a good question. Will, while he has a good heart, is admittedly far too stubborn for his own good -- an unfortunate family trait, as his father is the exact same way. Aggie tells him all the time that it'll be his downfall someday and he's fully aware of it, but his stubbornness and pride are things so deeply ingrained him that they're nigh impossible to shake. And while a determined attitude would certainly be a more positive trait, at this point in Will's life its causing him more harm than good, as he has been so wrapped up in making sure that the farm is successful that he's inadvertently been neglecting his family (as we'll soon come to see!) for it. Its not even that he does these things out of pure malice -- he could never, but he wants to prove his father wrong so badly that at this time, he's all too blind to his other shortcomings. Its not really a storyline I've fleshed out yet, but we'll be seeing a lot more of it in the near future!

And now for Aggie --

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 FAMILY WITH MOTHER, FATHER, SON AND DAUGHTER — how many people are in your oc's immediate family? how many people are in your oc's extended family? do they have aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? who in their family are they closest with? are they close with their birth family, or do they have a found family?

Aggie's family is a rather small one! She was the first and only child of her parents, Alice and Matthew, the former of whom already had a fair share of health issues and sadly passed away when Aggie was a small girl. Her father had been orphaned himself at a young age and was raised by his Aunt Winifred, whom he wrote to shortly after his wife passed and asked if she would come help him raise Aggie. So for her whole life, it was really was just her, her father and her aunt, a very small bubble that she loved dearly but she always found herself wanting for a larger family.

🤓 SMILING FACE WITH GLASSES — is your oc chatty or quiet? are they at ease in social situations, or are they more shy?

Between the two of them, Aggie is certainly the more sociable one. Great-Aunt Winifred ensured this, making sure Aggie attended plenty of parties and social visits while she was growing up, and now its something that she loves. Granted, she doesn't get much of a chance to do these things as much as she used to (provided that being a farmer's wife takes up so much of her free time) but she's glad for any chance she does get, and enjoys getting to talk to her neighbors or have them over for a cup of tea!

🤔 THINKING FACE — what are some of your oc's quirks/mannerisms?

Much like Will's humming and whistling, Aggie will randomly break out into song at times. She actually has a very lovely voice, which again can be credit to Aunt Winifred since she made Aggie attend singing lessons as part of her "proper" upbringing. She would sing during her walks to the schoolhouse back in Brindleton Bay every morning, and it was during one of those times that Will ended up hearing her (I'd actually love to do a flashback post of that moment one of these days shhh).

💔 BROKEN HEART — what are three of your oc's negative traits?

Aw, well, it'd break my heart to say anything negative about Aggie, and its especially hard for me to think of any compared to Will since she's such a ray of sunshine. Though unfortunately her one flaw is that she does have a very old fashioned mindset, but it certainly isn't by any fault of her own, as I mentioned in a previous post its just how she was raised, i.e. a product of the time. Its intentional though, as I really want Aggie to represent that fleeting older generation before the newer and more modern women of the 1900s.