#i'm. i'm tired of the burden. of the weight. n i'll keep on going but

[bearprofessorr]

chasing the stars.

being kind costs nothing, but earns you so much more than you could ever imagine.

ship: bfd!declan o'hara/fem!reader. tags/warnings: slow burn, alcohol mentions, panic attacks, fluff/comfort, no y/n. word count: 2.5k.

part 2 here! a/n: i've already written p2 and i'm just saying it is way slower development wise than i'm used to writing - however, it'll get there i promise <333. I'll edit it and get it up probably when im part way through p3 just to keep the flow of posts decently consistent (famous last words). enjoy <3

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Declan was, as ever, stressed as fuck when he came back from work - barely stopping for a quick 'hello' before heading into his office and slamming the door shut behind him. You, as had become habit on a Friday night, were two glasses of white wine deep, cooking some new recipe with Taggie in the kitchen as a new years resolution the pair of you had made to broaden your taste palettes. Taggie was busy being a perfectionist measuring out the dough into the tray, and you - with no real intention one way or another - took the chance to peek your head around to check in on your best friend's dad. You disappeared from the kitchen with a quick, "Be right back, Tag." that was quietly acknowledged before she went back to adjusting the balls of dough. You lingered outside of the door, hearing the frustrated mutterings of the Corinium show host, hesitating before knocking lightly on the hardwood. The mutterings paused, and you heard the scratch of wood against wood, then heavy footfall until the door clicked open. Declan, expecting it to be his daughter, started to speak as the door opened, "Tag, look I'm - oh-" He paused, gathering himself in a fraction of a second, "Hey love, are you alright?" His voice softened from the slightly accusative tone he started with, eyebrows knitting together as he tried to read your neutral expression.

"Yeah no, I'm okay." You started, with Declan nodding along with a tired expression in his gaze. Your eyes dropped from his as you admitted, "I was actually coming to check in on you."

"There's no need for that, love." The nickname slipped so easily as he spoke to you, and you gathered he had no idea how close you held the endearment to your heart. "I'm alright, but thank you."

He stepped back from the doorway, going to close the door, and in a moment of confidence, you pressed your hand against it to stop the movement. "Are you sure? You don't look fine, if I must say, Mr. O'Hara."

Declan took a deep breath in at that, he had been caught, it seemed. He clicked his tongue before conceding, stepping back again to open the door of his office to you. "If you insist, I'll regale my troubles."

"Oh, I insist, I wouldn't be able to sleep without knowing what ails your soul." You joked as you walked into his office - the one place in the house that was wholly Declan. His books adorned the grand bookshelves on each wall, his work was stacked into haphazard but organised looking piles with sticky notes plastered over them, the whole room was quintessentially him. Even the scents of whiskey and lingering smoke made the room more like his. You almost felt like the room would start to push you out, with your flour covered skirt and light perfume made of peonies and vanilla acting like a magnet to repulse you from the space. Except, it drew you in, the one place in your best friend's house that it made sense you never spent any time in - apart from the obvious personal bedrooms of the house's other inhabitants.

"Make yourself comfortable, we might be here for a while." He smiled to himself, the weight on his shoulders lifting slightly with the mere concept of someone to share the burden with. Someone who he had never really spoken to in much depth - not counting the drunken talk of philosophy that he often fell into with whoever would listen. The door clicked shut behind him, walking past your to sit behind his desk, where he was already part way through a glass of whiskey - which if Taggie knew she would chastise him for, but she wasn't here.

"So, what's got you in more of a huff than usual?"

"What do you know about what's usual for me?"

"If I hadn't heard all of it from Taggie when I haven't been here, the past 3 weeks that I have been here when you come back from Corinium you've been in varying states of joy or outright despair." You shot back, which Declan silently responded with his tongue running along the the backs of his teeth, "Do you need me to repeat the question?"

"No, no, heard you loud and clear." Declan put a hand up in mock defeat, "I don't know how much has gotten to you about Tony Baddingham, but he was being even more of an arsehole than usual." He spat his bosses name out like it was rotten, even with the conversational tone of his words, "Gave the Thatcher interview to Veriker."

"James Veriker? The daytime show guy?" Your jaw dropped a fraction, enough for Declan to pick up on the visceral reaction it caused within you, "He could barely interview a chatterbox never mind the fucking PM."

"You're telling me." Declan bit back a scowl, feeling the tension rise in his jaw, reaching instinctively for the whiskey glass and taking a long sip. "Baddingham saw me as too much of a flight risk for 'handling' the woman 'cause I didn't want to ask about her fucking kids."

Declan took a deeper breath at that, the embers of his anger being sparked from where they had previously settled. You took that as your moment to comment, "He's not going to outshine what you could - and have done. It'll be considered monumental because it's independent TV, not because she got the true 'Declan' treatment - like she deserves."

"Right." The older man shook his head at the thought of James Veriker opposite the PM on his stage. "He won't stray from what's asked of him 'cause at the end of the day, he's Tony's lapdog."

"Didn't take you for being a gossip, Mr. O'Hara." You accused playfully at the insinuation, finally getting comfortable in your seat.

"Please, love, you can call me Declan. No need for the respectful parent shit around here, alright?" Again with the endearment, you could at least write off the smile that immediately plastered across your features as being from getting to first name basis with your friend's dad.

"Noted, Declan." To stop the fluttering in your chest, you tried your best to steer the conversation back to why you came here in the first place, "Is that really all it takes to get you in such a storm? Correct me if I'm wrong, of course, but there has to be something else."

"Well then, you should consider journalism with an instinct like that." Declan deflected, looking from you to the swirl of amber liquid in the centre of his glass, hesitating to even form the next sentence in his head - since then he would have to acknowledge it's truth. Regardless, you were ruthless, poking him again.

"So there is something?" You assumed it was some secondary work troubles, something else infuriating about another one of his co-workers that lingered in the after hours of his workday. What you didn't immediately catch onto was how he had nearly frozen on the other side of the desk, biting the inside of his cheek, breathing deep to hold back the emotion that had bubbled to the surface.

As soon as you did, though, you stood from your chair, raced around the other side of the desk to try and comfort him, unsure entirely of how to proceed, what was appropriate to do when your best friend's dad was close to breaking down in front of you. "Hey, hey," You tried to get his attention, his eyes flickered to the sound of your voice but he was still frozen, "Look, I get that you might not want to tell me - is there someone I can call? Maybe Rupert? I know he lives just across the field-"

"It's alright, love, I-" His voice choked up, jaw tensing his mouth shut as his lip quivered. Now that you were closer you could see the tears pilling up on his waterline, threatening to break the barrier and fall down his cheek. The gloss of his eyes only made them look younger, his deep brown irises reflecting the golden light of the room.

"Declan?" Your voice was quiet, having lost all power and confidence it had when you walked into the room compared to now, "If you need me to go, I can. I'm sorry if I overstepped at all."

You waited a moment for a response, but as you leant yourself off of his desk, his hand came out to reach for your arm, his hold noncommittal. The silent agreement between you was clear, even if he didn't want to speak, he really did not want to be alone. He still didn't say a word to you, but he turned his head to meet your gaze, looking up at you with his doe-like eyes. That was enough for you to rest back on the edge of his desk, adjusting your own arm so his hand slid into yours. It wasn't meant as a romantic gesture, your fingers weren't intertwined at all, it was just for the reassurance that you were here, and you cared for him. You squeezed his hand once, a sympathetic look in your eyes matched with an upside-down smile.

The soundscape of the outdoors replaced your conversation, the archetypal noise of the countryside, the rustling of leaves and choirs of chirps as the sun dipped below the horizon, coating the sky in shades of pink and orange. You both stayed as you were for minutes, until Declan broke the silence with a quiet admission, "I- you can't tell Tag about this," He prefaced, waiting for you to acknowledge it, as much as it would hurt your to hide anything from your best friend, it was necessary in the moment. He took a purposeful breath, "Her mother and I, you probably know from Tag it's not been the best as of recent."

You nodded, still holding his hand.

"I have a feeling, that if nothing changes, it won't get any better - if you catch my meaning." His voice was solemn, one admitting defeat in a war instead of the typical talk of a long-term relationship like his with Maud. "And, I don't think I can change anymore."

It was your turn to sit and process, as Declan stared into the middle distance, loosely focused on the door; While his other hand came up to cover the bottom half of his face, realisation settling in. Your gaze was set out of the window behind the desk, in front of you, watching the world pass by as your mind raced. You couldn't tell Taggie, never mind if Declan hadn't made you promise not to, it simply wasn't your place to break that type of news to her, no matter how close you two were. The only other thought at the forefront of your mind was how to help Declan relax, how to calm him down, get him out of the spiral he was at the precipice of throwing himself into the centre of. If it was anyone else, you would take them out on the town, forget over a bottle of wine and music loud enough to drown out their thoughts. Although, you assumed from Declan's general introverted personal life that a rowdy club would be the last place he wanted to be in this kind of state. Instead, you did the logical thing, since your own mind had run dry of ideas.

"How can I help?" You suggested, not realising that at some point, Declan's gaze had moved from the door to you, for long enough that when you looked down to get his attention, it was already fixed on you.

"A distraction would be nice."

"Like a story?"

"If you've got one."

"Yeah, it's probably all going to seem petty to you, but they're the only ones I've got of any interest, unfortunately."

"Go ahead."

You regaled some bygone tale of a schoolfriend's suspension, all the way from your young teen days but still fresh in your mind and still just as scandalous. You became more animated the more you got into the story, your hand slipping away from his to gesture excitedly about the chase around the school grounds that your friend was involved in, with teachers and students trailing behind to watch as it all unfolded. Your eyes were rushing around the room, never settling, so you couldn't see the fondness in Declan's eyes as he watched you speak, and how quickly it helped him forget about his own troubles simply by the guidance of your voice. "And then," You paused, overcome with laughter at the memory. "Then," you gathered yourself, looking to Declan to reach the apex of the story, "She got stuck on the fence while she tried to climb over it, and had to get the fire brigade in to cut her out!"

"That's…" Declan chuckled alongside you, "And you said you went to an all girl's school?"

"Mhm!" you agreed, "The amount of crazy stuff that went down in that place, you'd think it was a TV show sometimes."

"If what you've just told me is anything to go by, I might just have to agree with you there, love." He paused, thinking on the details of the story, "Are you still friends with this girl?"

"No, no not really," You shook your head, appreciating the last warm embers of the sun as it fully disappeared out of view, "I hear about her and her lot every so often, some new escapade they've gotten wrapped up in, or old stories that finally get all the details filled in."

Declan nodded along as you spoke, his voice softer but with a clearer tiredness underneath, "Like a cold case, then? Those always fascinated me, keeping tabs on seemingly dead ends just for the hope of a revitalisation."

You made an affirmative sound, letting the conversation fall into a lull as you took in a deeper breath, appreciating the serenity of the moment, breaking the silence with a quiet, "Are you feeling better?"

He muttered a small 'yeah' following it up with a sincere, "Thank you, love."

"It's no worry, you needed it, and it cost me nothing to help - so why wouldn't I?"

"You're a selfless girl, honestly." He smiled to himself, the pull on his heartstrings a problem to deal with later, "Tag is lucky to have you."

"Speaking of!" The time had been lost on you, a part of you was sad to have to leave, but there was only so long before Taggie would get concerned of your absence, "I should go check if she needs any help finishing off the food."

Declan gave a polite smile as you got up from the desk, brushed off your skirt, leaving a small puff of flour in it's wake and rushed off to the kitchen, not before pausing at the door for a moment, turning back to Declan and letting him know, "I'll poke my head round once they're ready, if you're still here."

"I will be, thank you."

[wandasreallover]

In sickness and in health(mother figure!wanda)

Warnings: addiction, major character death, depression, angst/comfort, brief maria hill x reader, extremely self indulgant

Summary: wanda drags you back from the point of no return but its up to you to heal, wanda can help you all she wants but ultimately the decision is up to you will you give in to temptation?

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The rain drummed softly on the roof, its percussion a gentle cover to the somber air weaving through the old house. Wanda stood in the kitchen, fidgeting with a chipped porcelain mug, her heart heavy with worry. Every tick of the clock felt like an eternity. She had learned the art of patience over the years, but waiting for someone she cared about to return home was much harder than keeping a garden alive.

When the door creaked open, a chill drifted in with the wind, followed by an unmistakable air of guilt. Wanda turned, a flood of emotions spilling into her chest as she saw [Y/N] step inside. The girl was very much a woman now, but there was something heartbreakingly fragile in her gaze-like glass teetering on the edge of a table, ready to shatter at any moment.

[Y/N] stood there, drenched from the rain, her jeans torn and her T-shirt loosely hanging from her shoulders. There were dark circles beneath her eyes that hinted at sleepless nights. The confidence she often masqueraded in seemed stripped away, leaving only raw vulnerability. Wanda took a deep breath, unsure of what to say.

"Where have you been?" she finally asked, her voice gentle but firm, echoing with a protective undertone.

"I... I needed some time," [Y/N] replied, her words heavy, filled with the burden of unspoken truth.

Wanda stepped closer, hands outstretched in a familiar, comforting gesture. "You know you don't have to hide from me. Whatever's going on, we can face together."

A bitter laugh escaped [Y/N]'s lips, and she shook her head, creating a fragile dismissal. "You don't understand, Wanda. I'm fine."

"Fine? You were gone for days," Wanda pressed, her concern pulse racing alongside the rapidly fading daylight. "19 but you act like an adult?, like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. No one should have to bear that alone."

[Y/N] averted her eyes, staring at the floor, where dark splotches betrayed the rain-soaked entries of her shoes. "I'm tired, Wanda. Just really tired."

The familiar warmth surged through Wanda, a mix of compassion and sorrow. "Tired of what, sweetheart? You don't have to pretend to be strong around me."

"I... It's hard to explain." [Y/N]'s voice was barely a whisper now. "I wish I didn't feel like this, but it's all-consuming."

As silence fell between them, Wanda stepped forward, braving the space that had grown too vast, too filled with shadows and dripping secrets. "You don't have to carry this burden alone, [Y/N]. It's okay to lean on someone. I'll be here-always."

"But what if I slip?" [Y/N] burst out, emotion clawing at her throat. "What if I fall back into... my old habits? I hate it, Wanda. I hate needing it. I hate that I let it control me."

Wanda gently lifted [Y/N]'s chin, bringing their eyes level. "And that's the first step, acknowledging your struggle. It's okay to fall, but it's also okay to rise again."

For a moment, [Y/N] hardened, a fierce pride flashing in her eyes. But then, just as quickly, the façade crumbled, and she stepped into the comforting embrace of Wanda's arms. There, enveloped in warmth, the dam broke.

"I'm scared," [Y/N] mumbled against Wanda's shoulder, tears soaking the fabric of her shirt. "I was doing so well, but then... I don't know. I felt so lost. All this pressure to be someone I'm not... it made me run."

Wanda held her tighter, the rhythmic thrum of regret rattling beneath each heartbeat. "You're not alone. You've fought a hard battle and you don't have to do it on your own anymore. I'm proud of you for coming back and facing this."

[Y/N] drew back slightly, searching Wanda's eyes for the truth she so desperately craved. "I don't want to be broken. I don't want to be a problem."

"You're not broken." Wanda's voice was steady, filled with the kind of love that only a maternal figure could evoke. "You're human. You're allowed to feel weak, you're allowed to ask for help. You're allowed to be vulnerable."

It was then [Y/N] understood that all the years of independence she had chased-being the adult in the room, keeping her head above water-had only led her deeper into isolation. She longed for guidance, for love, for the comfort of acknowledging her darkness without fear of judgment.

"I wish I could just stop," [Y/N] finally admitted, a tremor in her voice. "I wish I could erase the bad parts of me."

"You can't erase who you are, but you can choose lighter paths ahead." Wanda placed her hands on [Y/N]'s shoulders, grounding her with a gaze that could anchor even the most tumultuous of storms. "Let's take it one step at a time. I'm right here with you."

Tears continued to streak down [Y/N]'s cheeks, but a flicker of hope stirred in her heart. "Will you help me? Will you stay?"

"Always," Wanda promised. "You deserve to be free from the shadows that haunt you. We can find that light together, I swear."

As [Y/N] clung to Wanda, hope began to weave its way back into her life. It would be a long journey ahead, filled with challenges and discomfort, but for the first time in a long time, she felt a shift. She wasn't alone anymore.

Ofcourse she couldn't just accept this good thing like a normal person that was impossible. Her mind always to betray her. Despite wandas unwavering support [y/n] still felt as alone as ever. Which lead her to now, back exactly where she started.

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The room cloaked in darkness, save for the flickering candlelight casting shadows that danced on the walls. You sat on the floor, surrounded by remnants of your struggle-empty bottles, crumpled wrappers, and the echoes of your own despair. Each item told a story of promises broken and battles lost, and the weight of it all pressed down on your chest like a heavy stone.

Wanda had tried to help you, her gentle spirit always reaching out, always hopeful. She was a beacon of light in your tumultuous world, a mother figure who had taken you under her wing when you felt most lost. But despite her unyielding support, the darkness that enveloped you felt insurmountable.

You could still hear her voice as she had pleaded with you just days before. “Please, don’t do this to yourself. I can’t watch you hurt like this.” The concern in her eyes had cut deeper than any words could. You could see the worry etched on her face, the way her brows knitted together in anguish as she tried to pull you back from the edge.

But you were trapped in your own mind, a prisoner of addiction that you couldn’t escape. You wished you could be stronger, that you could fight the cravings and the pain, but every time you thought you had a handle on it, the darkness would creep back in, dragging you under once more.

As you sat there, tears streaming down your cheeks, you picked up your phone, scrolling through your messages. There were countless texts from Wanda, each one filled with concern and love. But there were also unanswered calls, the silence between you growing like a chasm that felt impossible to bridge. You couldn’t face her—not like this.

You thought of how much you wanted to be the person she believed you could be, the person who could stand tall and proud, free from the chains of addiction. But each time you tried, the weight of your reality pulled you back down. The more you sit here the more you felt guilty wanda truely believed in your recovery, she invested her time and her heart into helping you get better but once again you've proved that your beyond help.

Suddenly, the sound of the front door opening broke the silence, and your heart raced. You quickly wiped your tears, attempting to hide the chaos around you. But it was too late. Wanda stepped into the living room, her eyes widening as she took in the scene before her.

“Oh, [Y/N],” she whispered, her voice breaking. She rushed over, kneeling beside you, her hands trembling as they reached out to touch your arm. “What have you done?”

You couldn’t meet her gaze, shame flooding your senses. “I’m sorry,” you managed to choke out, the words barely escaping your lips. “I didn’t mean to… I just… It’s too hard.”

Wanda’s expression softened at your admission, tears pooling in her eyes. “I know it’s hard, but you don’t have to do this alone. I’m here for you. Please let me help you.”

But you shook your head, the pit in your stomach growing deeper. “I’m too far gone, Wanda. I don’t know if I can come back from this.”

Her hands tightened around your arms, her grip firm yet gentle. “You’re not gone. You’re right here, and I refuse to give up on you. I love you too much to let you slip away.”

Those words cut through the fog of despair, piercing your heart with a mix of longing and sadness. You wanted to believe her, to trust that there was a way out of the darkness, but the fear of failing her again loomed large.

“I wish I could be different,” you whispered, the weight of your emotions crashing over you like a tidal wave. “I wish I could be sober.”

Wanda’s eyes sparkled with tears as she pulled you into a tight embrace, her warmth enveloping you like a cocoon. “You can be. It won’t be easy, but I’ll be right here with you every step of the way. We’ll face this together.”

As you cried into her shoulder, you felt a flicker of hope ignite within you, a small flame that dared to believe in the possibility of healing. You could hear her heartbeat, steady and reassuring, a reminder that you were not alone in this battle.

In that moment, surrounded by the remnants of your struggle and the unwavering love of the woman who had become your anchor, you realized that maybe, just maybe, you could find a way back to yourself. It would take time, patience, and a lot of courage, but with Wanda by your side, the fight felt a little less daunting. Well until the next relapse that is because its only a matter of time right?

That was six years ago and i have been sober every day since and i put it all down to wanda the woman whom i owe my entire life as she as dragged me to this moment. Stood in front of the mirror, my heart racing as I adjusted my veil for the third—or was it the fourth—time. The dress fit like a dream, a delicate blend of lace and satin that whispered promises of love. It was the day I had dreamed about for as long as I could remember—my wedding day. Yet, the tingle of excitement was mixed with a bittersweet ache in my heart.

The room was filled with soft sunlight filtering through the sheer curtains, casting a warm glow over the collection of flowers and jumbled accessories that had been thoughtfully arranged. Laughter floated in from the hallway, a joyous cacophony as my friends busily prepared for the ceremony. I could hear nats’s infectious giggle and clints’s teasing comments. They were trying to distract me from the swirling thoughts in my head, but one person’s absence felt enormous.

Wanda.

In those moments of reflection, I couldn't help but think about everything that had led me to this moment. Wanda Maximoff, the woman who had become more than just a mentor or a friend. She had filled the void left long ago—taught me the meaning of family, love, and sacrifice. We had faced our greatest challenges together, and she had always believed in me even when I doubted myself.

My fingers absentmindedly traced the locket around my neck, a gift from Wanda. Inside, it held a picture of us two years ago, laughing after a long day of training. “To remember the journey,” she had said with a smile. I couldn’t shake the thought of her not being here, not as a participant but as the mother I had always needed.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and my best friend Mia rushed in, her expression a mixture of excitement and concern. “Okay, deep breaths! You can’t have a wedding without the bride!” She fluffed the layers of my dress with a flourish, then paused. “You okay?”

I forced a smile, but Mia saw through it. “You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?”

I nodded, my throat tightening. “It’s just… I wish Wanda could be here today. I feel like she’s missing all the important moments.”

Mia clasped my shoulders, her eyes shimmering with empathy. “She’s here, in spirit. You know how she is—she’ll be watching over you. I remember how proud she was when you found your true love—she could light up a room just talking about you.”

Warmth spread through me at the thought. Yes, Wanda would be here, clad in her vibrant red and ready to cheer me on in her own way. She had always said love was the strongest force in the universe, a bond that couldn’t be broken even by distance.

The sound of the faintest melody wafted through the open window—our family and friends were gathering, their voices a reassuring presence as I prepared to walk down the aisle. My heart swelled as the realization hit me: I didn’t have to walk this path alone. I carried the love and wisdom that Wanda had instilled in me. She had taught me strength, resilience, and the beauty of vulnerability.

“Let’s do this!” Mia cheered, breaking my reverie and pulling me toward the door.

As we stepped into the soft sunlight, the world felt covered in a golden hue. The garden where the ceremony was to take place was adorned with rustic wooden arches draped in flowers. Guests mingled, their faces bright with joy, as they turned their attention to me. Everything shimmered with love, but there was still an empty space meant for Wanda.

When I reached the altar, my heart raced again, but not with trepidation. My eyes fell on mara standing beneath a floral arch, her gaze warm and reassuring. She was everything I had dreamed of: kind, loving, and unwavering. Her smile ignited a rush of memories; the way Wanda had looked at me when I first introduced them, her approving nod full of warmth—and that overwhelming sense of love.

As the officiant began her speech, I looked around at everyone I cherished. Everyone was here, united not just for us but by the threads of stories that connected each person standing before me. I closed my eyes for a moment, visualization flooding my mind: Wanda smiling, her hair catching the sunlight, her laughter ringing in the air.

And then I felt a gentle warmth enveloping me—a sudden rush of love and clarity, as if Wanda was saying, "You’ve got this, my dear." I opened my eyes, confidence coursing through me. I was not just a reflection of her love; I was also a testament to her teachings and strength.

The moment I stepped closer to Maria we exchanged knowing glances. Our connection felt electric, like we were standing at the climax of our shared story; one that would continue to evolve, but never alone.

Each vow I exchanged with her felt as if it were woven from the fabric of my journey alongside Wanda. “To love and to cherish, through all challenges,” echoed through the air, and I could visualize her proud smile, her joy root-like deep within my heart.

As I said “I do,” I couldn’t help but glance over at the empty seat next to my parents. I imagined Wanda seated there, tearing up—she had always been the one to wear her heart on her sleeve. Amidst the bliss, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the one who had guided me to this point.

The moment the officiant pronounced us married, applause erupted, loud and warm. My heart leaped; I was married to my true love, standing among those who mattered most. Yet it was incomplete without Wanda, the strong, fearless woman who had fostered my spirit and bravery.

As the festivities truly began, I made my way through joyful faces, laughing and dancing, all the while feeling Wanda’s presence. It was as if she were dancing among them, sharing in the happiness around me. I could sense her whispering her blessings, urging me to embrace this new chapter with an open heart.

The night glimmered with happiness and laughter as stars began to twinkle overhead. Surrounded by loved ones, I basked in the love that was strong enough to bridge any divide.

Though she may not have been physically present, Wanda’s love wrapped around me like an embrace. I was home, and I was ready for the journey ahead, eternally grateful for the mother figure who had carved a path for me to follow—a path filled with love laughter, and a future yet to unfold.

[akbrain]

COOKIE COMFORT: The Three Sisters

Remember, you're not alone. You're always loved.

Eternal Sugar's Minions coming soon!

Inspired by @pilotingdreammsss!

One day, after the Grand Cookie Games, you were wandering around the streets of Parfaedia with PALM Cookie & her sisters, filled with a burden. PALM Cookie sees this and looks concerned.

PALM Cookie: Y/N Cookie, you look tired! Are you OK? What's on your mind? Do you need sweets? Please tell me!

You begin relaying your troubles to her, she doesn't really know what you're talking but according to your expression, it was clearly not good. You feel like crying, but you managed to keep composure.

PALM Cookie: Don't worry, it's OK, Y/N! I'm sorry you have to go through this! This won't last forever! If you need anything, you can always come to me!

You nodded, but to make sure that you were better, PALM holds out her arms and asks you for a hug. You gently hold her in her arms, calming you down very much. She was so sweet, which enveloped you in a sweet aroma.

PALM Cookie: We're always here for you, our sweet Y/N!

You continue to walk with them, a little less tense than you were before. For the rest of the day, you could smell a sweet aroma around you. You felt a little... sweeter.

When Green Tea Mousse Cookie was walking with you through the streets alongside her sisters, she didn't even know about this mental weight of yours, but you had a anxious expression on your face. When she sees this, she gently holds your hands within hers and asks you what's wrong.

Green Tea: Dear, you look like you have something on your mind! Do you want to tell me what's wrong?

You relay your problems to Green Tea, feeling like you're gonna cry. She shakes her head with a concerned look on her face.

Green Tea: Oh dear, I never knew all of this was on your mind, sweetie...

She looks sad. You begin to apologize, saying sorry repeatedly.

Green Tea: No need to apologize to me, dear! Your problems are my problems too! Just stay here, I'll be right back, I'm going to go get a blanket for you and you can just stay with me for as long as you need, OK?

You shake your head. Green Tea gives you a kiss on your forehead.

Green Tea: Don't worry, honey. Everything's going to be OK.

She leaves. A few minutes later, she comes back with a warm blanket, as well as a hot drink. She tucks you under the covers and serves you the drink. It warms you up after feeling cold from your emotional burden.

Green Tea: Problems don't last forever, dear. Things will get better, but sometimes, you just need a hot drink and a warm blanket.

She then holds her arms out and asks you to come. You are held in her embrace, singing a comforting song for you. The tears begin to well up again. She just holds you in her arms as you bury your head in her chest, sobbing. She softly caresses your back.

Green Tea: I love you so much, sweetie. I'll always be here for you, to the very end.

You softly sniffle as she wipes your tears away.

Green Tea: You'll always be my treasure.

When you were walking around the streets with Choco Drizzle Cookie after a tough mission. You tried to stay happy, but you were in a poor mood. Choco Drizzle Cookie has a concerned look on her face when she sees your face contort into sadness.

Choco Drizzle: Honey, are you OK? You look concerned, is something on your mind? Please tell me.

You relay all your troubles to her. She shakes her head knowingly, as she knows exactly what you're going through. You can feel your eyes begin to tear up. Choco Drizzle sits with you and holds your hands in hers.

Choco Drizzle: I know how it feels, dear. I've gone through some of that before.

She shuffles closer and holds her arms out.

Choco Drizzle: Will a hug help you ease your burden?

You shake your head. She pulls you into her soft, dark embrace. You begin to cry in her arms. She softly caresses your back and whispers comforting words as you let it all out. She smelled like dark chocolate with a hint of burnt caramel, causing you to feel dizzy. You sit there with her, in her gentle, loving arms, breathing in tandem. It was a soft, sweet silence.

Choco Drizzle: I love you, darling. If you need to talk to me, I'm always here for you.

You nod silently. She flashes a soft smile.

Choco Drizzle: You're not alone. These feelings are not permanent. Just stay with me for as long as you need. I'm here.

[ilys00ga]

bodyguard boyfriend to the rescue.

synopsis: your comfort person, aka your secret boyfriend, saves you from falling into the abyss, once again.

genre: angst, fluff.

A/N: this is not my first time writing something like this, but it is my first (very random) public post of such. I hope this is decent enough, I will maybe post more, but I'm not sure. until then, here's this.

warnings: anxiety attacks and overthinking. no explicit mentions, tho, just dark thoughts.

_____________________________

the walls of the room stare back at you as you sit on the floor. body so stiff and brain so busy running nonstop. almost feels like it would pop legs out and escape out of your scull at any given moment as you lean your head on the edge of the bed. too tired to blink, too tired to move a limb or even get into bed and give your body its long desired rest and warmth.

days like these have always been your most despised. but as hard as you try, you can't make it stop.

nasty thoughts keep on going on and about, keep on getting nastier and darker.

what is it that I want the most? what is it that I dream of the most?

quick puffs of air start leaving your lungs as they run through your mouth, yet you can't seem to breathe. you don't know how to breathe.

what the hell am I even doing. I'm not good at anything. everything I have ever fought for was never by choice. what the hell am I going to do next?

you try and take deep breaths, you really do, but the white ceiling is becoming way too blurry for you liking. everything surrounding you in the room feels too far away from you as the floor is getting too cold and hard.

you try to remind yourself, I'm still young. this can't be just it. I'm too young, I have a lover, I have power, I have much more to look forward to, to wish and dream for..

you try telling yourself that it's gonna be okay, everything will work out just well for me, all I have to do is wait.

but-

you blink. once, twice... you blink as hard as you can as you feel the tears that have been lingering heavily at the corner of your eyes running free. you blink as you try to snap back to reality, to your room, to your bed and to your floor. you blink.

just then, the sound of your phone arises, screaming loud and clear as if saying: here, let me guide you. listen to me and snap out of it.

the weight that's been sinking the back of your head to the bed finally lightens, allowing you to lift your head as you keep on panting for air.

you slowly reach for the phone, praying that whoever's calling will help ease your pain. and your prayers are answered immediately as you feel a ghost of a relieved smile starting to creep up to the corners of your lips.

yoongi..

your mouth feels terribly heavy as you put the phone to your ear, unable to speak while your heart beats so fast and loud in your chest.

"hey...you alright?"

there it is, his voice oh so warm and delicate. so gentle and calm. he is probably worried sick as he realises this is yet another one of your episodes. oh how he hates those episodes.

the caring tone does nothing but fill your eyes with freshly new tears as it embraces your aching heart. it is quite a complex combination of feelings his existence provides to your soul. incredibly healing, yet dangerously consuming.

still unable to utter a word, you close your eyes as you desperately sniff one more time, and he hums. oh, how good you are for me.

"I'm on my way. I'll bring your favorite meal with me as well. we can lay together after filling our bellies and then you'll tell me what it is that's bothering you. a princess should never carry a burden with her."

you smile as you hang up. he never fails to amaze you.

and so, you just wait. sitting in your quarters as you wait for your bodyguard's arrival. for his hands to wrap so tenderly around you as he soothes your sore bones. for his breath to bathe you in warmth and comfort as he pulls you closer to him, whispering words of pure love to your awaiting ears, for your tired brain to listen and oblige as his knight speaks to it.

and you wait for yoongi to bring his love to you.

[the-kr8tor]

Hii i dont usually do requests but i love how u write hobie so ofc I has to ask something can you write something about how hobie and reader meet/ bond? but don’t make it fluffy.. i need something that will make my heart ache (need more hurt/comfort here..)

make it is as long as you want, gn!reader, honestly just go crazy. Do whatever you’d like, as long as it makes me sad. Hope this req isn’t too long or vague and thank you in advance!!

Hi hun! I chose the bonding one, I hope this is what you meant by bond, thank you for requesting ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x Gn! Reader/ Spider-punk x Gn! Reader

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, TW blood, canon typical violence, mention of injury, HURT/COMFORT.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Your hand dances through the warm water, the bubbles from the bubble bath you've poured inside the tub shines in the bright florescent light. The strawberry scented oil smells heavenly, relaxing your tired muscles.

You slip off your slippers, thumbs slip inside the edge of your sweatpants, you can't wait to get in. Before you could pull it down your legs, the bathroom door slams open, scaring you, jumping from the loud sound. You swerve around, eyes wide.

A familiar form stands in the doorway, shoulders tensed and straight, hands shaking as he grasps the doorknob.

You clutch your chest, "Hobie!" You watch him move towards you, "You scared me! Ever heard of knocking?" You smile, finally seeing him home and safe. Maybe you should ask him to bathe with you, like you always do. The warm water might help with his tensed muscles.

He's still wearing his mask, the whites of his eyes staring at nothing, he doesn't answer you, instead, Hobie slowly takes off his vest, the heavy material falls on your white tiles, staining it red.

"Shit, are you hurt?" Your smile disappears, concern lacing your voice. He keeps moving forward, ignoring your question, you grab his wrist gingerly, careful not to touch any injuries he may have. Hobie stops moving, still as a rock. The only indication that he's okay is his chest rising up and down. "Hobie?"

He ignores you again, Hobie lifts his feet, entering the tub, still in his suit. Your worries are cranked up to a hundred. Instead of chastising him for bathing in his suit, and using the bath you've prepared, you help him get in. Your hand on the small of his back, while the other stays on his wrist.

Hobie sits down, the water overflows with the added weight, splashing your legs. You ignore the water soaking the hem of your sweatpants, your full attention on Hobie.

You let go of him, whispering as to not startle him "I'm gonna go get the first aid kit, okay?" His eyes stay on the foot of the tub, watching the faucet drip.

You try to stand up, but Hobie stops you with a strong grip on your hand. "Stay" He finally looks at you, the eyes of his mask squint as the light hovers just above your head. "Please" his voice low.

"Okay, I'll stay" you sit on the edge of the tub, ignoring how your pants get soaked, you hold his hand, lacing your fingers with his. You place them on top of your thigh, caressing the back of his hand with your thumb "Can you tell me where you're hurt?" You duck to meet his downturned gaze.

"It's not my blood" Hobie clenches your hand tighter, his mind goes back to when it happened, he should've been faster, stronger, better. He feels sick, head pounding. Hobie watches as the crimson slowly mixes in with the clear water. The sweet smell betrays his senses. He closes his eyes, as you look at him with understanding. Your eyes glissen, heart shattering for him.

You place your free hand on his chest, rubbing small circles over it with your knuckles. The familiar movement brings him back to the present. Hobie looks at you, lips trying to dampen your quiet sobs.

"Can you tell me what happened?" You ask apprehensively.

"I don't want to burden you"

"You won't, we'll carry it together"

He tells you everything, from every grisly detail to the brutality of it. Hobie tells you how much he failed that civilian.

"You did everything you could, it's not your fault" you cup the side of his head, embracing him, his head on your chest. "It's not your fault" your voice muffled by his mask, tears slowly falling on his mask, leaving little marks.

He sniffs, his fingers bracelet around your wrists, ghosting over it like he doesn't deserve the love you're showing him, thinking of himself unworthy of it.

"I failed" Hobie murmurs "I'm sorry"

You shake your head, "it'll be okay, please don't be sorry" you kiss the top of his mask. "Everything will be okay, I'm right here with you" you rub his back.

He looks up at you, wiping your tear stained cheeks.

"Can I see you please?" You ask softly.

He nods, Hobie takes his mask off slowly, his face littered with small abrasions, a bruise forming on the side of his head, but other than that, he's okay. You remind yourself as you peck his forehead, leaving a much needed warmth.

You hug his shaking form tighter, his arms looping around your torso, as you let him relax in your hold, not caring how long it takes.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Thank you for reading! Please consider reblogging if you enjoyed it ❤️

[yoongissweetdream]

Interruption | Part 05

-> Pairing: mafia husband!Kim Hongjoong x mafia wife!Reader

-> Sypnosis: As her team searches for Mi-Rae, Y/N refuses to leave her husband's side. She starts reminiscing about the first time she met him.

-> Warnings: mafia au. Italics are flashbacks. pocket knife used to threaten someone. poor description of physical violence. Y/N is kind of a psychotic badass. Hints at how Y/N and Hongjoong were destined to meet. more of a fill in chapter. Flashback scene Hongjoong is 18 and Y/N is 17 thats why it hints at them still being in school.

-> Word Count: 2,183 - longest chapter so far, can't make any promises that the rest will be this long but I can try.

-> Taglist: open. Leave a comment on the masterlist post, send an ask or fill out the taglist form.

Season 01: Interruption Masterlist

When Seonghwa and a staff member bringing food for Y/N walk into the room, they find Y/N slouched over the bed where an unconscious Hongjoong lies. Her head is resting gently on the bed, and one of her hands is holding onto her husband's as if she’s afraid to let go. While her team have been searching for Mi-Rae, she stayed remaining by her husband’s side, not once leaving him since he got out of surgery a week ago. 

“Just put the food on the table,” Seonghwa instructs the staff member, who nods and promptly follows the order before exiting the room.  

Seonghwa then takes a moment to take in the scene before him. The dim light casts gentle shadows across the room, highlighting the worry lines on Y/N's face. It’s clear that the weight of the world rests on her shoulders, and yet, she remains strong and resilient, determined to shield her vulnerability from even those who know her best. 

With a soft sigh, Seonghwa picks up a spare blanket from the chair in the corner, its fabric soft and warm. He approaches Y/N carefully, not wanting to disturb her fragile peace. Gently, he drapes the blanket over her shoulders to keep her warm in the chilly makeshift hospital room.  

As the fabric brushes against her skin, she stirs, her eyelids fluttering open to reveal a pair of tired eyes. For a moment, Y/N blinks in confusion, her mind still foggy from sleep. When her gaze finally focuses, she finds Seonghwa's concerned expression.  

“I didn’t hear you come in,” she says as she straightens herself from her slouched position. 

“I didn’t want to wake you,” he replies softly, his tone laced with empathy. “You were finally getting some sleep.”  

"Have there been any updates?" she asks him, not wanting to talk about her lack of sleep or care for herself.  

"I'm afraid not," he regrets to inform her. "Wherever she is, she's managed to stay hidden. We're still checking potential locations and speaking to anyone who might have information about her whereabouts and anyone who could be hiding her." His words are steady, but she can hear the frustration and worry in his tone. 

Y/N feels her shoulders droop at his response, the burden of uncertainty weighing heavily on her like a thick mist. She turns her gaze back to Hongjoong, his stillness a stark reminder of the turmoil they’ve faced. Her heart aches at the sight of him, so vulnerable and not quite himself. Their time together is typically filled with joy and laughter, but right now, everything feels different. The days feel colder without the sound of his laughter and voice when he would randomly burst into song, the warmth of his embrace, how he could turn any mundane task into something enjoyable, and the sense of safety and love he brings her. 

She turns back to Seonghwa, a newfound determination etched on her face. "Tell the men to stop being so soft. I don’t fucking care if someone ends up losing an eye. Someone out there knows something."  

"I'll make sure to tell them that," he replies with a nod. "Now, there’s food on the table. Please eat something," he adds, sounding like a caring parent. "And try to get some more rest. Wooyoung or I will wake you if we find out anything." 

Before Y/N can say anything back, he leaves the room, leaving no room for argument. Glancing at the table, she sees the small square table covered with plates and bowls of untouched food. She knows she should eat, but the knot in her stomach makes it hard to even think about food. 

Choosing to eat later, she shifts her focus back to Hongjoong. Taking his hand in hers, she kisses the back of it gently. "I can’t do this without you, Joongie. You need to wake up," she whispers, her voice trembling as tears well up in her eyes once more. She squeezes his hand tighter, as if her grip alone could pull him out of his unconsciousness. "You’re the strongest person I know," she continues, her voice breaking. "You better come back to me." Dropping her head, the tears start to spill over as she fights to keep her composure.  

"Do you remember when we first met?" she asks, spinning his wedding ring around his finger, trying to distract herself from breaking down completely. Despite getting no answer, she continues, "I saved your ass from those little punks that were roughing you up in that side street. "

The moment she utters those words, she’s transported back to the day she first met Hongjoong.  

Y/N, clutching her bag straps, paid no attention to her surroundings as she kicked a pebble along the path leading to the bus stop, she needed to be at to catch the bus home. She was far from happy after her driver failed to show up to pick her up from school. But something soon caught her attention as she walked past a little side street that was mostly used for vans and trucks to drop things off. To the shops that backed onto it.  

Curious, she retraced her steps and turned into the alley, where she spotted five boys, likely around her age or a bit older in their school uniforms, beating up another boy who seemed to be her age as well. 

As she heard the boy let out a pained groan from a harsh kick to his side, she quickly pulled out the pocket knife she always carried for emergencies. 

“Yah!” she yells, drawing the bullies' attention to her as she approaches them. 

"I'd keep walking if I were you, princess," one of the bully's sneers at her. "This has nothing to do with you." 

“It has everything to do with me,” she shot back. "You’re hurting my friend," she declares, even though she has never met the boy they were attacking before. The words slipped out before she could think, but there is something about the way he was curled up on the ground, vulnerable and scared. It reminded her of the situation she’d been in a few years prior and that ignited a protectiveness for the boy. 

"Your friend?" one of the boys scoffed, stepping forward with a menacing grin. "I know for a fact that he has no friends. Why don’t you just run along before you get hurt too?" 

“Try me,” she says holding the knife out towards them.  

The boy who had just spoken started to advance when another boy held him back. “Hold on, I know her,” he said, drawing the attention of the group. “I think she’s Kim Dong-Yul’s niece.” 

“Yeah, so what?” the first boy scoffed, though his confidence wavered slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean? You think we’re scared of some old man?” 

"You should be," the second boy spoke. 

A third boy speaks up, "I don't think it's him you have to worry about. She's a complete psycho. From what I've been told, she lit fire to another girl's hair because she stole her seat. " 

"Yah! She didn't steal my seat, she stole my Lipton Peach Iced Tea," Y/N shot back, clearly offended by their misunderstanding. “Now should I also set you all on fire,” she asks, reaching back into her pocket to pull out the lighter she had in there for no reason at all. Her other hand still holding the knife towards them, ready to be used if it came down to it. 

The boy hesitated, glancing at his friends, who were now shifting uncomfortably. She could see the wheels turning in their minds, until the first boy, clearly the leader of the group of them, spoke again, “Look, we don’t want any trouble. We were just messing around.” 

“Messing around?” she echoed, her grip tightening on the knife. “You call this messing around? You’re terrorizing someone who hasn’t done anything to you. You’re just a pathetic loser.” 

The third boy, who had mentioned the rumor, shifted his weight from one foot to the other, clearly regretting his involvement. “Maybe we should just go,” he suggested, his voice barely above a whisper. “The last thing we need is Kim Dong-Yul on our asses. It isn’t worth it.”  

“Yeah, maybe you should,” Y/N shot back, her eyes narrowing. “And if you ever think about messing with someone again, just know that I can find out where you live, where your parents work and what your little sister likes to eat. You don’t want to know what I can do with that info.” 

“Let’s go,” the first boy finally says and turns to leave, the others following suit.  

“Assholes,” She mutters under her breath before turning her attention to the boy they were tormenting. He was now sitting up clutching his side. “Are you okay?” she asks, taking off her bag as she crouched down to his level.  

“Did you really set a girls hair on fire over a drink?” he asks, watching her unzip her backpack and pull out a small first aid kit. 

"No," she replied, shaking her head with a chuckle. As she opened the kit, she pulled out a cleaning swab to tend to the cut above his eye, which looked like the worst of his external injuries. "I mean, it wasn’t over a stolen drink. It was an accident," she added, tossing the bloody swabs aside and reaching for a band-aid. 

“That sounds like a pretty big accident.” he says, skepticism lacing his voice. 

“Let’s just say, accident or not accident, she never bothered me or the other girls afterwards,” she says, placing the band-aid over the cut. 

“I’m guessing you’re some sort of anti-hero,” He smirks slightly, his deep brown eyes onto hers with an intensity that makes her teenage heart skip a beat.  

For a moment, the world around them fades away. She can feel her cheeks flush, a warmth spreading through her. “Anti-hero? I don’t know about that,” she replies, a shy smile creeping onto her lips as she finishes securing the band-aid. “I just don’t like bullies, that’s all,” She glances down, suddenly aware of how close they are. The air between them crackles with an unexpected tension, a mix of adrenaline and something else she can’t quite place because she’s pretty sure she’s never felt it before. She clears her throat, trying to shake off the warmth rushing to her cheeks. “I mean, it’s not like I go around purposefully setting their hair on fire.” 

He chuckles softly, the sound warm and inviting but winces when it causes him pain. She can’t help but feel a pang of concern for him.  

“Seriously, though, are you okay?” she asks, her brow furrowing as she studies his face. The cut above his eye is small but deep, and she can see the remnants of a bruise beginning to form. She can only guess his ribs weren’t doing too well either. “You should probably go get checked out.”  

He shrugs, a nonchalant gesture that doesn’t quite mask the pain in his eyes. “I’ve had worse.” He pauses, as he stands up with her help. “But I appreciate your help.”  

“Y/N,” she replies instinctively, her voice steady despite the concern swirling within her. 

“I promise, I’ll be fine, Y/N,” he assures her, as he slings his backpack over his shoulder. “Maybe I’ll see you around,” he smiles, making her heart flutter once more before he limps away leaving her alone in the little side street. 

“Ugh, stupid heart,” she mutters, glancing down at her chest, but a smile tugs at her lips. She can’t shake the feeling that this encounter was more than just a chance meeting. Realizing she never got his name, she goes to catch up with him. As she reaches the main street, she looks both ways hoping to catch a glimpse of him but can’t find him anywhere.  

Little did she know at the time, she would be seeing him again only a few hours later. 

“I knew that us meeting in that side street wasn’t just a coincidence,” she says, lifting her gaze to Hongjoong, a small part of her hoping to see those brown eyes she loves so much looking back at her only to be disappointed when they weren’t. “You had me feeling things I’d never felt before,” she says, kissing the back of his hand again before resting it against her cheek. “I really can’t do this without you, Joong.” 

“Boss?” she hears from behind her.  

She straightens up once again, wiping the tears from her eyes. Standing up she turns around to face Wooyoung.  

"We have a lead," he tells her before she has to ask. "An informant told us Mi-Rae could be hiding out at the docks, trying to escape Korea. I had a few men ask around. She was spotted there by three people. One mentioned seeing her this morning." 

“Alright, flush her out and hold her until I get there,” she tells him. He nods and leaves the room. She turns back to Hongjoong and leans down, kissing his cheek. “I’ll be back soon, my love.” 

© 2024 yoongisssweetdream - do not copy/modify/repost anywhere. reblog instead. 

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[calicoheartz]

overworked reader and paige forcing her to go to bed🙏🙏 need some hurt/comfort

Anchored Affection ; Paige Bueckers ♡﹕

꣑୧ — summary | overworked & anxious reader , paige comforting reader :) happy ending yay

wc ; 709

— warnings | hurt & angst , mature themes + topics , fluff at the end

my master list ㇀♡

a/n : this hit waaaay too close to home , tried my best to accurately represent mental health while giving you guys some angst with a happy ending ! Enjoy ◡̈

The ambient lighting in your room helped you feel a little bit at ease, the light reflecting onto the scattered books sprawled out on top of your desk, as your eyes darted across your computer screen.

You had always been a high achiever, always pushing yourself to excel in every aspect of your life. Whether it was constantly studying for exams, or finishing your homework wayyy in advance, you always centered your life around academics.

You had struggled with anxiety since you were a kid, often struggling to express your feelings, and having a tendency of bottling everything up. With the pressure to succeed, to meet the expectations of others, weighed heavily on their shoulders, a burden that seemed to grow heavier with each passing day.

Paige had started to notice your habits were starting to take a toll on your mental health, but as much as she tried to support you and be there for you, it felt like she was helplessly watching you slip deeper and deeper into the darkness of your own mind.

The clock on the wall ticks, the lines of exhaustion etched into your face were unmistakable, a silent testament to the toll your overworked schedule was taking.

Your girlfriend Paige on the other hand, was already in bed. She knew you had work that had to be finished, but once it passed a certain time, she knew she had to drag you into bed with her.

The blonde simply sighed, slowly getting up from your shared bed and made her way to the living room, where she discovered you sprawled out against the floor, with papers scattered in every direction around you.

"y/n, it's past midnight," Paige's voice was gentle but firm, cutting through the silence of the room. "You need to rest. You've been pushing yourself too hard lately."

But you simply waved off her concern with a tired smile, their eyes fixed on the glowing screen in front of them. "I just need to finish this one thing," you insisted, your voice strained with fatigue.

Paige's heart ached at the sight of your stubborn resolve, knowing all too well the dangers of neglecting one's own well-being in pursuit of perfection. With a sigh, she approached you and gently closed the laptop, ignoring your whines of protest.

"y/n, listen to me," Paige's voice was soft but unwavering as she took your hands in hers, her eyes searching yours with an intensity born of love and concern. "I know you have a lot on your plate, but you can't keep burning yourself out like this. You need to take care of yourself, okay? You're important to me, and I hate seeing you like this."

You felt the weight of Paige's words settle over them like a comforting blanket, warming them from the inside out. Tears pricked at the corners of their eyes as they finally allowed themselves to release the pent-up tension they had been carrying for so long.

"I'm sorry, Paige," your voice slightly cracked with emotion as you buried your face in Paige's shoulder, allowing yourself to be held in her comforting embrace. "I just...I'm so afraid of letting people down. I feel like I have to be perfect all the time, and I'm so tired of it."

Paige's heart broke at the raw vulnerability in your voice, the weight of your shared struggles hanging heavy in the air between them. But she also felt a surge of determination, a fierce desire to protect you from the relentless pressure of their own expectations.

"You don't have to be perfect, baby," Paige whispered, her arms tightening around them in a gesture of unwavering support. "You're already more than enough, just the way you are. And I'll be here every step of the way, cheering you on and reminding you to take care of yourself."

With Paige's words echoing in their ears, you finally allowed yourself to surrender to the sweet embrace of sleep, their weary body finding solace in the warmth of Paige's love. And as they drifted off into dreams, they knew that no matter what challenges the future may hold, they would face them together, hand in hand, bound by a love that could weather any storm.

tbh idk how to feel about this yet. I’m trying to put out the best content while also writing fast enough to finish all the reqs. As always , tysm for reading ❤️

[sevasey51]

Hi darling,

I have a request. So basically Chris Evans x Teen!Reader where they are cast mates. Teen!Reader has a chronic illness and Chris helps her. She also developed depression due to the pain. I have depression caused by Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. You don’t have to use EDS though.

I hope you are doing alright x

Elle

Low on spoons

Summary: On set Chris as y/n’s 'father figure' she is struggling with a chronic flare up day so Chris steps in to help as always because he knows how depressed it makes her feel

——————————

Warnings of feeding tubes, medical equipment, chronic illness, anxiety, family abandonment?, depression mentioned, burden

——————-

Paring: Chris Evans x Teen! Reader

——————————

Y/n's POV 

It was another day on set whilst filming the third Captain America movie: Captain America Civil War. Today started a bit different to any other day on set since I have a chronic illness, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome that affects my eating and getting the nutrients and hydration I need to be healthy to still be able to work in a job I wouldn't change for the world. Among joint pain, dislocations, fatigue and dizziness are the biggest symptoms I have to deal with. 

Unfortunately, the only way we can guarantee that I'm still healthy to work is that my doctor to place a feeding tube that goes into my stomach that can deliver everything I need; which was the last resort due to recent flareups.

 So it was one of those days where I had less energy than usual, my joints were on fire so I had to use splints to ease some of the pain that I had, coupled with the mass amount of dizziness that was happening that was disorientating; and it showed because of this flare up I had to take it really slow on set but was more chilled than usual for good reason which I was thankful for. 

—————————-

I was meeting everyone on set to start little shoots we needed to do for certain scenes so I had Chris come help me set up everything I needed for today since it was 'less energy day' today as I'd like to call it. The only downside other than the tube keeps me healthy is I'm really self-conscious about everything that comes with my chronic illness, even though everyone is used to it; Chris more than anyone because he is like a dad to me helping me though it even when it leaves me depressed or just really low on everything. Still just with the added support he helps massively because I don't feel alone and isolated with this massive weight on my shoulders - Chris as a fatherly figure helped elevates some of my heartaches, he makes me happy in the darker times that no one talks about when you're young having a chronic illness, especially in this industry; people admire me for what I do for people like me and how I've bought diversity to all movies I'm in.

Chris' POV 

Today was one of Y/n's lesser energy days as she called where she just needed a little bit more help because of her flare-up with her chronic illness which was not the best watch and try to help her through when she's so down and anxious about everything from being self-conscious about what she looks like with the medical equipment she'd need to use on these days or just in general. 

But she knows everyone is there to help her and doesn't bat an eyelid or look at her weird because of it. 

Chris was coming out of the trailer bathroom since we shared on set as it was 10x easier for days like this, to come and help me get ready to go on to set.

Currently, she was getting all her meds ready to put through her tube with the water flushes for afterwards, with the braces she'd needed for today as well, there is so much care put into this but we all know it's what's the best for her right now rather than being in the hospital. 

"Honey, you doing okay?" I asked whilst coming in to set up her feeds for today 

"I'm tired but okay, for now, I've done all my meds I just need to chill because I feel a bit dizzy and sick" she replied sitting down sounding out of breath 

"Lay down it might help, I'll get you some anti-nausea medicine sweetpea." I said after she whispered a small thank you whilst sitting next to Dodger who was keeping you company after Chris helped set up your feed. 

Y/n's POV 

I had made it out of bed with a great struggle I just knew today wasn't a good day with my health issues so Chris was always there to help or just comfort me because it was physically and emotionally draining for me. 

I was on my first feed of the day after meds, honestly, sometimes I feel like I could do it with my eyes closed I've dealt with it for so long that I feel like a burden.

--------------------

Chris' POV:

 Y/n was laying down slightly since she mentioned she felt sick and dizzy which was once again a common thing for her. It's hard to see her like this but I know she's strong.  

"Bubs you okay, feeling a bit better now?" I asked after 30 minutes after setting up her feed and giving her the medication she needed. 

"Yeah Chrissie I'm okay now, I think I'm ready to go to set if everything's done." She replied wanted to leave everything in the trailer since she was self-conscious of all the medical supplies she needed so she was adamant that everything needed to be finished before we left even though no one mind on set with all the medical stuff. Everyone was aware of her condition but no one minded, they helped when she need it and comforted her too. 

————————————-

****TIME SKIP****

Y/n's POV 

We'd been on set for about 5 hours now and I had been on a couple of breaks to pace myself since I wasn't 100 % still. 

I had to put more of my meds down my tube since they had to be taken at certain times, not only that because my joints were definitely due to pop out I could just feel it, but I went off to the comfy area to do that because I was still scared of what everyone would think.

It was almost time for another feed but I couldn't go back to the trailer and do it because Chris wasn't free till lunch so I'd have to do it whilst they were all eating because I need someone with me just in case anything happens. 

This makes me anxious and feels like more of a burden so I had to relax and take some deep breaths so I didn't have a panic attack whilst I was alone since the pressure on my chest could do more harm than good.

Chris came to find me about 10 minutes later to check on me because I was taking a while and he'd walked in whilst I was trying to calm down. 

Chris' POV

We'd just finished our scene with team cap so I went to go find y/n since she's been a while doing her meds. I found her trying to calm down since I'm guessing she got in her head about having to do her feeds later in front of everyone not only that but I know she can get in her head about how much she relies on people and she hates it.

"Sweetheart you're alright, you're safe" I reassured her whilst kneeling down to have her focus on me whilst rubbing the length of her arms gently knowing she was in pain.

"Yeh I know I'm just anxious about everyone judging me," she says trying not to cry but tears brim her eyes threatening to spill...

I whispered sweet nothings into her ear whilst hugging her tell her she has nothing to worry about. 

Once she'd calmed down it was time for lunch so we all sat and I helped her with the feeds she needed to set up since she needed an extra one with a liquid iv in for hydration. 

****TIME SKIP****

——————————

Y/n had an hour left on her feeds and this is the one she can't stop then restart since it will mess with her stomach and cause her to be sick so she had to keep it connected in the backpack that keeps it in and working whilst we finished filming. 

Y/n's POV

Finally, after 10 hours on set, we'd finished for the day and I'm not going to lie I'm proud of myself because I finally did what I was scared of being judged for and I was okay; Chris was right no one really took notice of what I was doing and how I was picking at little snack to try and help a little bit because I can snack on little bits I just have to be careful. Apple sauce is the go-to that I've found is okay for me. 

Chris came and found me back in our trailer to come to say how proud he was of me because it definitely wasn't easy today and he could see that.  

"I'm proud of you bubs, today you did amazing even though it was hard I knew you'd be okay and you know you've always got me, I'm so proud of you peanut." he said whilst giving me a hug using the nickname he'd called me for years. 

“Thank you, Chrissie, I love you. You're the dad figure anyone could ask for. Forever and always" I replied using his nickname and our saying that became a thing after the first time I had been admitted to hospital whilst my health was a little unmanageable. he was there for me during these times more than my own family which made our relationship even more special and built on trust and love.

After that long day that we had on set and the facetime catch-up we had with Chris' brother Scott who I called 'uncle,' we had cuddles before turning in with a movie.

Chris' POV

It was now about 11:30pm and to say we were both tired was an understatement y/n more than me which was understandable. We'd gotten ready for bed and I helped y/n get everything for overnight with her tube. Making sure she was as comfortable as she could be depending on her joints.

Once that was all set both cuddled in our beds falling asleep to Cars 2 because it's a classic that is an amazing film that we both loved 

Y/n started to drift off in my embrace that she'd like to fall asleep every night because of the sense of security my arms gave her, so I cuddled her up to my chest and said " go to sleep sweetheart, I love you." She murmured a love you too da- and she was out for the night. 

I followed soon after making sure everything in the trailer was locked and all good. 

----------

She said dad could there be a part 2 to see how their relationship develops more because y/n mentioned her family is never there for her when it gets really tough. could Chris file to adopt on the ground of medical neglect who knows...

——————

I loved writing this so thank you so much Elle for this ask lovely, I hope you like it everyone and please do point out any inconsistency with this. It was done with research involved ❤️

Also a possibility for part 2 who know I want to see if you guys want to see a part 2 💕

[madammonkie]

Am I not Good Enough?

===============================

Summary: XiaoTian is began to doubting himself

Content warning: PTSD, Self Depreciation stuff, child neglect

====================================

It was a Peaceful night at Pigsy's noodle shop. Both the Pig man and his sole employee, is closing up for the day. Pigsy handling with the kitchen clean up, while XiaoTian handle the eating area.

XiaoTian mindlessly mopping up the floor, as if he's moving on autopilot his mind keep wandering off.

"...pick the wrong successor..."

The Bone Spirit's word kept replaying in his head, and no matter how much he tries to get his mind to think something else or just focus on his works. Its always whispers back as if it has a mind of its own kept pushing away other thoughts he try to bury it with.

He was so distracted that he trip over the mop and fell on the dirty mop water bucket, making the once almost clean floor covered in murky water. Add him to the filthy list too.

Pigsy rushes out of the kitchen to check out what with the commotion, both out of concern for his shop and XiaoTian. Only to find a panicking XiaoTian trying his best to clean up the mess in a frantic. Pigsy, who were originally going to yelled at him, stopped before he even open his mouth.

Something about The kid that had him worried, he has something on his mind and its not the usual mundane distraction.

It was something more severe.

XiaoTian couldn't hold back his tears, as he tried to fix the result of his carelessness. He was too focused on it that he hadn't noticed Pigsy approaching him.

" ...why can't I do anything right..." he mumbled to himself. Tiny sobs escape his lips despite him trying his best not to let them.

Maybe this is why Monkey King left him, maybe Monkey King realized that XiaoTian was the wrong choice and he was off to find a better one.

Maybe his lessons was just a charade to keep XiaoTian busy while he look for a better one.

A better Student

A better Employee

A better Son

If only he could be at least one of that. his parents were right he could never amount to anything. A Weight, a burden, a failure.

An accident.

A pair of arm gently pulls XiaoTian away from the mop that he hadn't notice was already broken from his tight grip.

He doesn't need to look to know who it was.

It was the same warm arm that comforted him back when he was tossed on the street by his Birthgivers.

Pigsy took the broken mop away, "Why don't you go home early tonight? I'll take care the rest"

Panic appears in the young man's eyes, "N-No- I Can handle it! I promise! I'm not Useless I swear- I-I- Can be good enough" he said as he reaches for the broken mop that is now in Pigsy's hand

Before XiaoTian can reach it, Pigsy pull it out of his reach. "It's okay, XiaoTian, You're just tired, You've been working all day, now go upstairs and rest"

"But-"

"No buts"

XiaoTian couldn't argue more, and just complied with Pigsy's instructions. He know Pigsy means well and sending him away out of concern for his wellbeing. But it couldn't help but making his anxiety worsen.

He can't even mop right and he has been doing it for yesrs.

Pigsy noticed his sullen look on his employee's expression. He can't bear seeing him like this. Before XiaoTian leave through the door, Pigsy called out without looking at XiaoTian

"You're good enough for us, Don't you ever forget that, Monkie Kid"

XiaoTian was silent for a good minute, until a small sob escape from his lips again.

"T-thanks Pigsy"

And with that, XiaoTian went upstairs to his apartment.

Maybe.. even if he's not good enough for the big world, he at least knows that he's good enough for his small world of friends.

[greenygreenland]

Dream A Little Dream Of Me: Norman x Reader

-MANGA SPOILERS! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK! 

-NOTE: YOU’RE BOTH AGED UP SO DON’T START TELLING ME FBI’S GONNA COME TO MY DOOR 😂😂

-THE TIMELINE IS A BIT MESSED UP SO JUST IGNORE IT COMPLETELY AND DON'T ASK ME LOL

-also, is it just me or do thick eyebrows look really cute??? Norman has pretty thick brows compared everyone else and I think they're cute 

WARNINGS: Kissing lol

Summary: You finally see Norman again.

Life had to be the scariest thing you'd ever faced. It threw the bad, the good, the everything your way until you could barely stand. Until you were left broken and mangled and shattered. Life was scary. It was cruel. Yet somehow, today was different.

You thought it was a dream. After all, how could it be reality when the boy in front of you died a year and some months ago? He had been shipped out, left for dead because it was a part of his stupid escape plan.

So how was it he stood before you? Breathing? Smiling? Living?

The office door closed behind you with a soft click. It bathed the room in silence, as if for a moment, the world decided to give you a second to breathe. A second to take in the wonderous sight before you.

The boy's name stuck in your throat. He had changed, not only in height, but stature and appearance. Norman was older, and he grew up to be more handsome than any runway model could ever be.

"(Y/n)," he gently said. "I'm glad you're well."

That was all it took. One sentence and you tackled him in the tightest hug your trembling arms could muster. "Norman...!" To have his arms around you, to hear the beating of his heart--it was a relief. A miracle sent by the gods. "You’re so stupid!"

No, he was more than stupid. He had to be the dumbest boy alive to think that it was okay to sacrifice himself for the sake of your family. You all were supposed to escape together just like Emma said. No one was supposed to be left behind, yet Norman--bless his heart--acted on his own.

You hugged him as if he would disappear if you let go. "We were all supposed to leave together. But you--I thought you--shipped out--and then--!" You chocked on your words. What more could you say anyway?

You buried your face in the crook of his neck. The muffled sob that ripped through your throat was more than Norman could handle. His knees went weak and you both slowly sunk to the floor in a heap. 

"I'm here." he gently said. "I'm not going anywhere (Y/n)."

Despite the steadiness in Norman's voice, his shoulders hitched, and he sniffled. "I'm here." he repeated. "I-I'm here." It sounded like he were reassuring himself that he wouldn't leave you so soon, as if he were scared too. Not for the way you sobbed and sobbed, but for the ache in his heart that seemed to beat in sync with yours.

Slowly, your sobs turned to quiet sniffles, which then silenced into nothing but tiny hiccups. You basked in Norman's warm embrace. He didn't hold you too tightly, as if he were afraid it would shatter you to pieces. Instead, he pulled you close to his side and leaned on his desk behind.

You rested your head on his chest, taking the time to memorise his scent. Parchment, the woods, and old books. You liked that, it was comforting to know he still smelled the same. On the other hand, his voice wasn’t as smooth or rounded as it once was. It was icy. No one seemed to notice that tiny sharpness that hit the end of each note he spoke. You wondered what could've made his kind heart harden.

Sure, Norman was still the same Norman you remembered, but something about the way he acted seemed off. He was clingy, much more than he ever was. Maybe he just missed you? No, that couldn't be right. Norman acted as if he were running out of time. He held you close and gently, as if these would be the last moments you'd see each other again. As if there wouldn't be a tomorrow.

You slowly pulled away to get a good look at Norman's face. His chin was slightly pointier, his cheeks less chubby and full. His lips twitched upwards into a comforting smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes because he looked so overwhelmingly tired. Your poor boy probably worked day and night to keep the hideout on its feet. It must be hard on him, you thought. Especially since he was revered as a god.

Norman's brows raised. "What's wrong?"

You took his thin hands in your own and gave them a good squeeze. "It's nothing. What about you?"

Ah yes, small talk. The perfect way to avoid any question thrown your way. Norman knew you well, sometimes even more than himself. When you asked simple questions such as these, that meant your mind laid elsewhere in a land he could never reach. Norman took that as a hint to drop the subject.

For now.

He wondered what invisible weight laid on your shoulders. Was it something as heavy as his? Perhaps your weight was worse and it ate away at you. Norman wished he could take that weight away and relieve you of that pain. He'd carry it all if he could, and it didn't matter to him if he'd die trying. This was you he was thinking about. He'd do anything for you.

"I've been okay," Norman vaguely responded. "But I have been busy, so I find it difficult to sleep sometimes.”

Norman liked to be honest, but you knew it was because that helped him figure out what was wrong with you. It was a game of tag. In this case being 'it' meant figuring out each others' worries through a back-and-forth match.

"You haven't been sleeping enough?" Your voice came out rather quiet as you traced invisible circles over the back of his hands. "Is that because you have so much work? Or do you refuse to get help?" Norman sat in a still silence and you sighed.

Of course. 

This was your Norman after all. He always shouldered a burden too big for his shoulders to carry. It was always something so heavy, so terribly hard to balance by himself. If that burden grew any bigger, it would collapse, and that would be his downfall. But you wouldn't let that happen to your Norman. No, no, no. You'd take that burden from him, steal it if you had to, and be his crutch.

"What have you been doing here?" you quickly added. "As 'William Minerva', I mean?"

Norman looked unbearably uncomfortable. That little frown tugging at the edge of his lips was a tell-tale sign. “I’ve been getting a lot done." he carefully said. "In fact, I’ve figured out a way to end this. Once and for all.” 

Norman began by explaining the first phase of his plan. The first phase had long been in motion. It started with the indiscriminate burning of cattle facilities, then the gathering of information, and continued on to pave the way for all the other phases you didn’t care to hear about.

The first few steps weren't too bad, but the final act in Norman's plan made your skin crawl. You half-wished you hadn’t asked him anything to begin with. Maybe it would have spared your appetite. Your grip on his thin hands loosened and loosened until your hands rested on your lap.

Norman wasn't so little anymore. He had grown up just a bit, but not in the way you wished to see. How could he think of something so cold-hearted and cruel? The extermination of all demons in Neverland was an act of genocide. If you re-called correctly, it was also considered a war crime.

Norman was smarter than that. He understood the consequence he'd have to face if that were the path he walked right? He understood that there were still other options right? Maybe you heard him wrong.

No.

You had to have heard him wrong. Norman wasn't ruthless like that. He was a ball of sunshine that made you smile whenever you were together.

"I see..." You tightly smiled. "So that's your plan on freeing everyone?" Norman nodded with a seriousness that took you back to the time he left everything to you and Ray and Emma. 

You weren't mistaken then. Norman truly meant everything he said.

"Yes, that is my plan. It's been taking me a little longer than expected to set it in motion. I've decided to officially start tomorrow."

Tomorrow? 

Your breath hitched. "Don't you think that's a bit hasty? What if...what if something goes wrong?" Norman smiled. It was hollow and wry and everything that he wasn't. "Don't worry. Fortunately, I've always been pretty good at getting what I want." You didn't return the smile, and you didn't want to say why.

Norman was quick to catch on. But of course he would catch on so quickly, this was Norman. Your Norman.

"Do you have a problem with my plan?" he inquired. You shook your head. "No, it's...it's not that." Yes, it was that. Your plan is dangerous even if it is good, you thought. Innocent lives wouldn't be spared, and that would spell an unfair fate for the demons who ate to survive.

You wanted to tell Norman why his plan was wrong, and why he didn't have to be so unforgiving about it. But then what? Why would he listen when you didn't have any better ideas? He seemed to have his mind set anyway, so no half-baked ideas would make a difference. And besides, he was the smartest person you knew. Maybe that was the only way out of the terrible fate all you cattle children faced.

"If you're okay with my plan," Norman said, "then what's bothering you (Y/n)?"

"It's still a lot for me to take in," you admitted with a plastic smile. "I guess I'm just shocked that you're, well, here." Norman smiled, this time with a genuine warmth. "I understand." He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on your lips. "I'll see you at dinner."

Your cheeks burned. How bold of him. "Y-yeah, I'll see you at dinner." Norman let out a cute little chuckle that made your heart beat a little louder than it was supposed to. You hauled yourself off the floor and made your way to the door. Norman followed.

You flashed him a nervous smile, one that mixed in with your muddled worry and anxiousness. You glanced at his bright eyes. For a moment, they seemed to dim like the setting sun. It reminded you of Mama. When no one looked at her, she didn’t smile. She always looked so sad when she sat by herself, and maybe that was because she was. 

"(Y/n)?"

Your fingers brushed against the doorknob. “Hm?”

"I want nothing more than to protect you and our family. I know you don't fully agree with me," his expression darkened. "But this is the way--the only way we can save everyone without spilling a single drop of blood."

For a moment, you forgot who you were speaking to. This wasn't the same boy you begged to run away with before he got shipped out. This wasn't the same boy who gently tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and sweetly complimented you. This boy--did you truly still know him? Was he still the Norman you grew up with and fell head-over-heels for?

You blinked and that dark look washed itself off his face. He strode up to you and placed a hand on your cheek--just like the day he was supposed to be harvested. Norman’s eyes were soft, softer than any blanket, and his lips pursed into a gentle frown. With his thumb, he wiped a stray tear away. 

Why were you crying?

"Norman..." You couldn’t find the right words. There were none that could explain the suffering you endured in silence. You worried, not only for Norman, but your family and all those other people in the world you didn’t know about. Norman’s plan--oh how stupid it was--had it changed him? Had it forced him to guard his heart to keep a still mind? 

You wondered what he endured while you went on your crazy adventures. At least you had your family, and Yuugo, Lucas, and all your friends. But Norman? He didn’t have anyone but himself. He carried the whole world. Alone. Had he been scared? Worried? Angry that no one came for him? Your heart clenched at the thought. 

"Smile,” Norman said. “It’s okay, I promise. I'm here." He gathered you in his arms and you didn’t have the heart to protest. “How?” you whispered. “How were you able to do all this on your own?” Norman helplessly shrugged. “You could say I have connections, either that or I’m just lucky.”

“What will you do after this is all over?”

Norman went still again, as if he couldn’t answer your question. You heaved in a shaky breath. If Norman wasn’t going to give you a straight answer, then you’d squeeze it out of him. “Did anything else happen to you? I’m sure there’s a catch, isn’t there?” 

It was like someone flipped a switch. One moment, you were a mess of tears, sorrow, and anguish. Now, something menacing laid in your voice. It was almost threatening, as if you were indirectly telling Norman to dare avoid the question. “I don’t want you dying trying to be everything at once,” you said. “Here you’re revered as a god, and if I know you, then it’s plain that you set yourself up like that. Don’t tell me you plan to die on us again.”

He stiffened.

“I know you Norman, don’t forget that. And because I love you, I don’t want to see you destroy yourself. I admit, I don’t know why you act like you’re going to leave again, but I’ll do everything in my power to stop you.” You pulled away and took his hands in yours. A small smile of reassurance made its way up your lips, but Norman didn’t return it. 

No, he couldn’t. And despite all he did, he couldn’t lie straight to your face. Not like this.

Dinner cheered you up. The smiles and laughter that your family shared with Norman made you feel just a little bit better. But how long would it last? And how long would those smiles stay present? All the questions swarming in your mind made you feel sick to your stomach. There was too much to think about, and too little time to answer them.

You forced down the last of your food with a sigh and brought the plate to its respectful place. Everyone was too busy chatting and catching up to notice, but that was fine. It was better that way. 

You made your way to a secluded walkway. It was in one of the calmer areas of the hideout that overlooked the lower levels. It was quiet, save for the distant chatter of Hayato and his friends. He let out a bright laugh that echoed through the vacant walkways. What a shame it would be to hear that disappear.

“So this is where you went.” 

“I told you she’d be here.”

You whipped around in alarm. “Ray, Emma!” 

Ray sharply looked you up and down. He raised a brow and you squirmed under his gaze. He gently bumped shoulders with you. “What’s wrong with you?” 

You absentmindedly shrugged. “Nothing.” 

“That’s what someone who’s not okay would say.” Emma noted. She settled by your side on the railing and flashed a bright smile. “You were so quiet at dinner today.” 

You shook your head. Que another absentminded shrug and plastic smile. “I guess I just wanted to make sure everyone was okay.” 

Ray sighed. “Everyone but you?” He leaned against the railing next to you. “Did you and Norman talk at all?”

You froze. ‘Yes’, was what you wanted to say, but no sound came out. The image of Norman’s matured face, the way his his soft lips hit your own, and his stupidly tall build crossed your mind. 

Emma let out a gasp and slapped a hand over her mouth. “Ah!” she cried. “You’re all red!” You covered your hands with your face, ignoring Ray’s curious stare.

“What did you two talk about in his office anyway? Or should I say, do?” The glint in Ray’s eyes had subtext you didn’t want to recite out loud. “Rayyyyy,” you grumbled, “shut up.” He sent you a teasing grin as Emma frowned in confusion. “I don’t get it.” 

“You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“Yeah, it’s grown up stuff.”

You ignored the warmth spreading to your cheeks and elbowed Ray. “Don’t say it like ‘that’! Now you make it sound like something else!” 

He daringly raised a brow. “Like what?” You ran a hand over your scorching face. It was a miracle you weren’t on fire. “No, no, I’m not answering you!” 

You shared a good laugh and a comfortable silence began to settle, blanketing your shoulders in a lightness that you hadn’t felt in a while. 

Emma softly smiled. “I’m glad we found you.” she admitted. “You looked really sad all by yourself out here.” Ray nodded with a small snort. “Yeah, talk about depressing. But seriously though, did something..?”

Of course these two would see through your façade. Of course they’d understand something was wrong. They were your family, and they didn’t deserve your silence. Your smile shattered. “I don’t know if Norman told you about his plan yet, but it’s...it’s bad. Sure, the demons have done some terrible things to us, but that doesn’t mean all of them are guilty. I want to stop him, but I don’t know how.” 

Emma nodded in agreement. “He told us earlier and I don’t like it either.” she firmly said. “Ray and I talked it over and we have a plan, but it’s risky. Like, really risky. It has to do with the Seven Walls and...” 

You held on to every word Emma and Ray spoke. Risky was your middle name. Well, not actually, but it was something that became your friend. You and your family looked death in the face too many times to count. What would be another?

By the end of it, you were sure this new plan would change Norman’s mind, or at least convince him to give up the whole ‘genocide’ thing. It was decided by Ray that tomorrow, you’d all talk to Norman. Things seemed to be looking up. No, they had to be.

------------

The halls were empty and you were alone. How was it you got lost in the first place? You made sure to have every twist and turn memorised, so why did you end up in the wrong corridor twice? Ray would surely tease you for getting lost. What an absolute--

You slammed into someone’s chest. A yelp escaped your throat as the person in question lost his footing. He sucked in a sharp breath and went tumbling straight into you. Your back hit the ground as the boy threw out his arms on either side of your head to brace himself. You didn’t need a name to know who you had tumbled into. Light hair, soft eyes, fancy waistcoat and suit. 

“Norman?”

He hovered over you with wide eyes. His lips were inches from yours and he was just so, so close. 

Thump, thump, thump.

Your heartbeat was so gosh dang loud. Could he hear it? Could he see the way your face burned red? 

“Uhm--I--I--uh--” 

Why wasn’t he moving? Why weren’t you moving? Why was it so hard to look him in the eyes? A nervous smile broke out across Norman’s lips. He pushed himself off of you and offered out a hand. You gingerly took it.

“Sorry.” Norman said, helping you to your feet. “I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you okay?” Your gaze darted from his lips to his dazzling eyes and then to his cheeks dusted in red. Your heart wouldn’t stop slamming against your chest. It kept going, and going until you felt like you were about to burst. 

“Sh-shouldn’t I be asking you that?” you retorted. “I’m not the one who--you know...gets sick all the time.” You weren’t sure why you said it like that, or why that made Norman smile so cutely, but he was smiling. That made your heart flutter. You glanced around the corridor a few times, and somehow, you kept finding focus on his lips. 

What was wrong with you?

Norman caught on fast--like he always did. “Oh I see,” he said with a low chuckle. You swallowed. His voice really did deepen (but you kind of liked it). For a moment, you thought he caught onto your staring, but instead of commenting on it, he intertwined his hand with yours and led you through the winding halls. 

“Don’t tell Ray I got lost.” you muttered. Norman laughed and it was like the sound of happiness itself. “I won’t.” 

The halls all looked the exact same: cream coloured paint, nature-like decorations, and numbered wooden doors. You forgot what number your room was, so that was probably why you got lost. Norman took a sharp left where you recalled should be a right instead. “Wait isn’t it that way?”

“I have something to give you, so we’re going to make a quick detour.” Norman’s cheeks dusted pink and he looked the slightest bit nervous. “What is it you want to show me?” He flashed you a contagious smile. “It’s a surprise.” 

“What kind of surprise?”

“I can’t tell you,” he said with a chuckle, “that’s why it’s called a surprise.”

When you got to his office, you were nervous. Surprises were fun, yes, but in a world where nearly getting eaten by wild demons fell into the category of ‘surprise’, you learned not to like them very much.

Norman closed the door behind you and it softly clicked shut. Okay, you thought. So he was locking the door and making his way over to his desk. Okay, that’s fine. Norman shuffled through a cabinet, that nervous look still on his face. Okay, okay, nothing wrong here. He gently shut the drawer, and as he walked out from behind his desk, you took note of the small little box he fiddled with. 

Okay. Okay. Box. Nervous. Locked door. Did he not want anyone to interrupt whatever he was about to do? 

Norman heaved in a deep breath. A really, really, really deep breath. “(Y/n), I have never met anyone else like you. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met, and you’re beautiful and kind.” He sunk to one knee and opened the little box. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes!”

---------

You jolted awake with a start. 

“Sorry,” Norman said. He scribbled a few words down in his notebook. “Did I wake you?” 

Ah, that’s right. After you talked with Emma and Ray, you all met up with Norman and hung out for a bit. But when had you gotten to his office? Much less, fallen asleep? You rubbed your eyes with a shake of your head. Judging by the tired look on Norman’s face, it was way past bedtime.

The heavy cloak around your shoulders offered a welcoming warmth. It smelled like books. It smelled like parchment and ink. It smelled like Norman and it was comforting. 

He glanced up from his notebook and curiously met your gaze. “What are you smiling at?” The dream popped up in your mind and your smile grew. “I had a good dream.” 

“What was it about?” he inquired without looking up.

“You.” 

The scratch of the pencil froze and he met your gaze. “You had a dream about me?” Your cheeks flushed. “Yeah, and you proposed.” Norman’s back went rigid and he turned as red as an apple. “I-I pro--proposed to you?” he stammered. You snickered, a smug smile tugging on your lips. “It was really sweet. And if you’re wondering, I said yes. I was going to kiss you, but then I woke up.” You stood up with a sigh. “It was disappointing, but that’s okay.” 

You let out a small laugh and neatly folded Norman’s cloak. You left it on the couch and made your way across the room. “That’s a nice notebook.” you said. “What’re you writing about?”

Norman stilled and closed the book with a smile. “It’s nothing special.” He put the pencil down ever so quietly and stood. “Do you seek my affections?” he inquired. You settled on the wall. “Don’t you have work to do?” Norman looked down at you. His fringe brushed across his eyelashes, and he loosened his tie. Slowly.

Your heart steadily drummed against your chest. “What are you doing?” The false innocence in your voice caused Norman to chuckle lowly. He caressed your cheek with a feather-light touch. “Well, you did say you were disappointed right? Why don’t I make it up to you?” 

He rested an arm on the wall with a sly smirk. Your lips connected and it made your stomach flip-flop. The kiss was slow, it was sweet. You found yourself pulling him closer, running your hands through his hair and yanking him over. "Norman?" He met your gaze with half-lidded eyes. "Yes (N/n)?"

"Where did you learn how to do that?"

He smirked and it was hot. The fact that he kept his arm braced against the wall didn’t help either. "Why?" he lowly inquired. "Do you like it?" Your breath caught in your throat and you found yourself wanting more. 

Knock, knock!

Norman didn't look too happy about that. He ran a hand over your cheek and gently tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, that half-lidded look of his melting into warmth and love. He made his way to the door, tightening his tie and smoothing out his hair with a quick touch.

"Hello--?" Norman fell short mid-sentence. As soon as your gaze locked with the person on the other side, you understood why. Ray stood in the threshold, just as red-faced as you and Norman, with a sheepish look on his face. “I’ll come back later.” he muttered. 

Oh great. Had he been eavesdropping? You glanced at Norman and he glanced at you, then Ray, and back to you. Ray sucked his teeth and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Don’t have too much fun.” he said, a smirk twitching onto his lips.

You made your way to the threshold with a groan. “Rayyyy!” 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry.” he coolly replied. “Do whatever, I didn’t see anything.”

PART 2 <--- READ PART 2

NOTE: I spent a WHOLE WEEK writing this. Please reblog so I know you guys like it :)

TIP JAR

[seacottons]

reaper ; — k.hj x reader

pairing: hongjoong x reader, platonic wooyoung x reader

wc: 5k

notes: i guess this is horror? pft. idk. mild violence. set in the late 80s? early 90s? technology isn't prevalent here so- yeah. probably needs to be proofread but i'm too sleepy as of now. maybe tomorrow. also, happy hongjoong day 🤍

synopsis: after an accident leaves three of your friends dead and one in a coma, you and wooyoung struggle with living expenses and piling medical bills. in the midst of it all, you’re stalked by strangers who resemble your deceased friends.

"Bad day at the tavern, Woo?" You asked, arms wrapping around the black-haired man who stood over the stovetop. A gentle fire simmered the stew he was cooking, a thin sheen of oil and spices pooling on the surface. He nodded with a grim frown and tight jaw, shoulders tense as he stirred a ladle into the pot.

"Got in a fight with some asshole who thought he didn't have to pay for shit," he grumbled back. You frowned at the sight of a bruise on his jaw, and he caught your gaze before scoffing incredulously.

"Don't look at me like that. This is nothing," he quipped hastily, voice thin with resignation.

"I think I have some leftover ointment for that," you sighed, turning away to fetch the item. After dinner, the two of you sat in silence as you tended to his bruises and cuts, your brows furrowing into a glare as you wrapped his finger with scraps of linen you managed to find," You should be more careful with people like that."

"We need the money," he retorted gently, "Mr. Lee would've taken it out of my paycheck if I had let the guy go without paying."

"At the expense of you getting hurt?" He ignored the glare you sent his way.

"We need every silver coin and more right now, y/n," he exhaled softly, leaning back against the old headboard of your bed, "Yeosang's medical bills aren't getting cheaper, and we promised the landlord we'll pay her this month." He groaned, reaching up to massage his temple with a tight frown, "And I can't keep making you work two shifts every day. I see the toll it's having on you."

"I told you I'm fine," you gave him a hard stare, defensively crossing your arms above your chest, "We both work overtime, so it won't be fair of me to just throw all the responsibility on you."

He gave you a tired smile, eyes fluttering shut as he hummed back a reply. Bringing you into his arms, he placed a gentle kiss onto your temple, before cradling your head against his chest while laying down, "I'll always be grateful to still have you with me."

Wooyoung sleeping in your bed alongside you became a silent agreement of some sort months ago when he couldn't bear to sleep alone in the other room he and Yeosang shared. Since then, the two of you found comfort in each other's arms, so much so that it became difficult to sleep without the warmth of his arms wrapped securely around your frame every night.

You sat in a comfortable silence, eyes closed as you relaxed back in your seat while holding Yeosang's delicate hand. The occasional beep of the IV machine and other monitors filled the air of the small room. You peek one eye open to look at Wooyoung, his back turned to you as he gazes out of the window. Neither of you speak for a while.

"You really think the doctor's words are guaranteed? That he'll wake up soon?"

You watched from your spot as Wooyoung leaned over the blonde-haired male, his hands brushing the hair away from his closed eyes. He appeared to be in a very deep and peaceful slumber.

"Yeah. I'm sure–.. I know he will. Things will get better for all of us," he drawled out tiredly, a soft smile finding itself onto his visage as he turned to gaze at your hand grasping Yeosang's limp one, eyes puffy from his crying session last night, "I know it."

An hour later, a nurse peeks her head in to politely state that you two have exceeded your visiting time. The two of you bid your friend farewell and left the hospital.

"I'm actually going to run by the cemetery real quick before my shift starts," you explained while walking down the road with the other by your side, half frozen autumn leaves crunching beneath your boots.

Wooyoung pulled you into a tight hug, hand reaching up to tussle your locks, "Alright, please be careful. I'll see you later, alright?," he readjusted the scarf around your neck with his gloved hands, "We'll have fried fish tonight, your favorite. Don't overwork yourself at work again!"

Tears nearly welled in your eyes, knowing fully well behind his cheerful demeanor hid a scared and tired being. The unspeakable pain behind his eyes killed you on the inside. He overworked himself both physically and mentally, and you can only wish you can rid some of the burden off of his shoulders.

You were just as hurt by the circumstances that the both of you were in, but watching his mental health erode with each day was A lump formed in your throat, and instead of replying, you merely flashed him a smile, not trusting your voice.

You pressed a quick peck to his cheek only to laugh as he flinched away from your freezing lips, your laughter escaping as puffs of white in the frigid air. You bid him farewell and waved back as the two of you separated.

The low mist enshrouding the cemetery did very little to bring warmth in the early hours of the morning. Your hands absentmindedly brushed along the dew covered grass as your eyes fixated onto the inscription on one of the three tombstones.

Where there are flowers, there are butterflies.

"It's your birthday next month, Joong," you muse to the grave in front of you, "I'll make sure to spend the day here with you and the others when the time comes."

You adjusted your position on the grass, the gentle beams of sunlight sparkling in the beads of dew around you. Sitting cross legged, you reminisced the times you spent with the male and the other two friends that shared his fate.

"Wait— how come you get to be the flower? You should be the butterfly instead," you whined whilst poking his cheek.

With a playful quirk of his brow, he reached up to lightly flick your forehead before pulling you closer for a gentle kiss, "You're the butterfly, because you always bug me, baby."

You smiled to yourself at the memory, reaching down to admire the various flowers that have finally bloomed on Hongjoong's grave. Similar blossoms and flowering vines were planted and grown onto the other two graves to the right.

"I miss you so much."

You startled at the sight of a small butterfly fluttering over your head, only to smile once it landed on the purple blossom. You stilled your frame in fear of scaring it off, and watched as it flapped its blue wings subtly.

A small lizard peeked through the gaps of leaves, sharply and swiftly clamping its mouth onto the butterfly. It struggled to keep the bug in its mouth, its head shaking rapidly as the insect wriggled in its hold. Moments later, the bug stilled and the lizard scampered off with its prey.

You stood up, shoulders slumping as you gave the three graves a smile and a wave, "See you guys tomorrow. I love you."

You tightened the sweater around your frame as you made yourself out the gates of the cemetery, sighing in annoyance at the lingering and dense fog. It was difficult to even make out the next tree as you made your way back to town. You faintly hear the sound of a crow's caw in the distance and peer down onto the ground as you feel a tremor beneath your feet. Your head snapped up in time to have a large vehicle's headlights reflect in your wide eyes.

You somehow couldn't quite grasp what day it was, or even what happened at work earlier. Your head spun as if you had just awoken from a drunken stupor.

The sun had set and the moonlight washed the town with a silvery blue hue. Flames flickered within the numerous lampposts and pebbles crunched beneath your feet as you walked through the familiar cobblestone path back home. The streets were deserted. Many buildings were left with shattered windows, small plants and moss growing in the most delicate fissures on their walls. Plastered advertisements and papers on the walls and lampposts looked withered and aged, drooping forward and swaying with the gentle breeze. It was quite an odd sight to see. The once boisterous town strangely felt like a ghost town.

You shrugged off the ominous feeling growing in the pit of your stomach as you trudged along back home.

Along the way, you crossed the hospital where Yeosang was kept. You peeked back to glance at the building, your eyes immediately catching sight of a figure who stood behind a third story window. Furrowing your brows, you turned around to continue walking, the sight of the stranger leaving a bitter feeling in your heart.

The male had the same patch of silver hair as—

Suddenly, your feet came to a halt and you turned back frantically, but the figure was gone. In its place, the blue curtain of Yeosang's room swayed gently with the wind.

Shaking your head, you continued your path whilst rubbing your tired eyes.

"I probably just had a long day," you explained to nobody.

In the distance, there crouched a dark figure, his hands caressing the top of a stray cat's head. You met eyes with the stranger moments later, and you paused in your tracks, your heart dropping down to the floor and leaping into your throat almost simultaneously.

"San?" the figure's lips stretched into a wide grin at your acknowledgement, before he stood up straight to face you. Your legs shook and threatened to give under the sudden weight of your body, "San? Is that really you?"

"Long time no see, y/n."

He silently nodded, arm extending to beckon you forward with a small smile. You took a small step forward, brows furrowing in confusion, "But this can't be you. You're dead."

"Your eyesight is still horrible, I see," he drawled out with a roll of his eyes. You stood inches away from him, eyes widening in disbelief. He sounded like and resembled your late friend with a terrifying accuracy. With a trembling hand you reached forward to cup his cheek, eyes glassy with unshed tears.

"You're..," you trailed off, eyes briefly glancing to your right at the reflection of the store glass window. Your reflection grasped at nothing but thin air, and you quickly retracted your hand from his face, eyes wide, "You're not real, are you?"

In an instant, the bright smile vanished and his gaze hardened into a dark expression. He silently bore holes into your head as a gentle breeze swayed his ebony and silver locks over his eyes. You took two hesitant steps back, and a blur of black flew towards you at an inhumane pace, your back roughly slamming onto the cobblestones underneath you.

Your brain scrambled to process what had just happened, eyes widening as San gripped your two wrists above your head with one hand, the other reaching down to wrap his lithe fingers around the column of your neck to squeeze hard. You released a pained cry, face contorting into a harsh wince. The heel of his palm dug painfully in the middle of your clavicles.

With eyes wide as saucers, you frantically kicked at your heels, hitting his frame repeatedly in an attempt to escape his clutches. Your attempt was futile as he released a growl, eyes practically slits as he seethed down at you, his grip tightening at an unbelievable level.

You wheezed, mouth falling open as you choked out his name, before furiously and blindingly sending a stomp onto his crotch repeatedly, your other leg jutting high to kick at his shoulder. It loosened his grip just enough for you to wriggle away, knees buckling as you attempted to stand up, heels kicking at the floor as you scrambled up, desperately trying to create as much distance as possible.

His eyes spoke of unfathomable fury as he regained his composure, taking two big strides to reach you.

Hastily rising to your feet, you dove in an alleyway and into the dark, mind not even processing your whereabouts as you quickly attempted to flee.

Your mind was in shambles as you ducked past clothes lines and the multiple abandoned carts near one of the taverns by the tea shop you worked at.

Turning around another corner, you collided with a strong chest, and you stumbled back at the sight of San's dark eyes peering down at you with a miffed expression. You gasped, face draining of color and chest heaving as you stumbled back and away from him. His chest rose with heavy breathing, brows knitted together furiously as he scurried after you.

"Y/n, y/n," he tsked in amusement, voice chiming like he was singing a song, "Come back, I just want to talk!"

Minutes later, the sound of his heavy footsteps ceased, but you did not have the time or courage to look back to see if he was still following you. You scrambled through dark alleyways, turning around every other corner, heart beating frantically in your ears and weak legs threatening to give way under your weight.

Tears prickled your eyes, and a sob threatened to escape your throat as you practically threw yourself against the frame of your door, fingers frantically reaching down to pull out the key from your pouch. From the corner of your eye, you spotted San madly dashing out from an alleyway to reach you, his voice growling out your name.

"Why are you running away?" He mocked, brows quirking up, "I thought we were good friends?"

Your trembling hands scrambled to unlock your door, hastily clambering in and throwing your entire weight to close it shut. A heavy weight from the other side thudded against the wooden frame, and your hands shook whilst reaching up to slide the chain into place. A loud gasp left your lips as the door jerked open slightly, the thin chain straining under the weight that threatened to break it.

"I'm hurt, y/n," a laugh escaped the man from the other side as he lodged his foot in between to keep the door ajar, voice rising as he attempted to shove himself in once more, "Don't you miss me?"

"Leave me alone!"

A hand shot from the gap of the door to clamp around the chain, rattling it viciously, as his other arm bent at an awkward angle to coil his fingers around the side of your neck, "Come out, y/n. I just want to talk," he chimed.

A sudden surge of strength overtook your frame and you threw your weight forward, successfully ramming the door shut against his arms. You expected to hear a cry of pain, but a chime of laughter sent a chill down your spine. With furrowed brows, you repeated the action, slamming the door continuously onto his hands and fingers, the sounds of bones and tendons snapping making you cry out in anguish.

Your hands trembled as you quickly locked the door with the key, stumbling back onto the floor as the knob shook threateningly. The door and chain rattled under the heavy kicks the male delivered from the other side, The impact of his frame against the other side shaking the door slightly. You fell onto your bottom, wobbly knees finally giving in, hands clutching your gaping mouth, and tears silently streaming down your face. You can practically feel the smile in his words, "It's okay. You'll come out eventually."

The dark shadow of his figure disappeared moments later.

When you woke, you weren't exactly sure when or how you fell asleep. You couldn't quite grasp the memories of the night prior. Sitting up, you emit a disoriented groan before realizing you weren't in your bedroom, but rather in the waiting room in the hospital Yeosang resided in. Peering around in confusion, you took account of the night sky, brows furrowing as you scrambled to find the nearest clock. It was well past midnight and visitors weren't even allowed at this ungodly hour.

The room was vacant, and you couldn't make out any figures of the receptionists through the pebbled sliding-windows. Your hand grasped the doorknob of the entrance door, only for you to sigh in frustration after finding it locked. You turn to the other side of the room only to find the door to the main halls of the ICU left ajar ever so slightly.

You called for any doctor or nurse, but you were met with silence. After much contemplating, you decided to make your way through the long corridors of the hospital, your steps reverberating throughout the empty halls. Where are the attendants, and why is a place like the ICU empty?

If you were stuck in here, you might as well stay in your friend's room. The lights from the mounted sconces petered out against the wall and casted the hallway with a warm glow.

After much turning and walking, you reached the end of the hall, hand reaching for the doorknob when the hallway lights wavered for a second. You peered to the side in confusion, before entering the room, only to stop after a step.

The room was empty, the sheets on the bed untouched and perfectly made. A hiss of air from the corridor startled you, and just as you snapped your head back, the lightbulb above you flickered rapidly before it shattered along with the windows, showering your shocked form with glass shards.

The room was engulfed in darkness, save for the streaks of moonlight filtering past the curtains. You jostled up from where you fell from shock, legs feeling useless as you crawled back out of the room with trembling limbs. Not wanting to look back, you clutched the wall for support before hastily speeding through the endless turns of the hallway.

Corner after corner, panic settled through your system because these were definitely not the same hallway layouts you remembered and memorized like the back of your hand. They were endless and vacant, and you felt like a helpless little mouse in a vast maze. As you quickened your pace into a panicked dash, the windows and light sconces on the wall flickered and shattered with every step you took, and you hastily covered your head and face from the flying glass.

This isn't real, you thought. It can't be real.

"Y/n!"

You froze in your spot, breath caught in your throat as you clamped a hand over your mouth to swallow back a scream threatening to slip past your lips. Did you hear correctly, or was that part of your imagination?

"Y/n," the familiar voice spoke once more.

Your heart hammered against your ribcage as you daringly poked your head from the corner and into the other hallway. Blood pounded past your ears, and it took more than a second to realize there was a figure of a man at the end of the very long and dark corridor.

He took a step forward and the soft moonlight pouring from the window beside him illuminated his figure, and your breath faltered at the sight of the man's smiling face.

"Seonghwa?"

"What are you running away from, y/n?"

You couldn't properly form a reply at his remark, hands reaching up to rub at your tear pricked eyes. A sob bubbled its way up to escape your throat at the sight of your late friend who merely chuckled at your tears.

"Missed me that much, hm?" he mused, shoulders shaking with an amused chortle, "Why don't you come here and give me hug? You know I don't like seeing you cry."

You couldn't help it as a gnawing feeling of unrest settled in the pit of your stomach. A shudder traveled down your spine, goosebumps decorating your arms, and hair standing on the back of your neck. Your mind couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was that had you so disturbed, but your body displayed all the signs. His tone felt off, and you realize he's playing with you. Toying with you. A small distant voice in your head told you to get away.

A sudden thought found its ways into your mind.

Where was his shadow?

Sensing your hesitation, the friendly expression on his face soon dropped, making way for a stone-cold frown and unamused eyes.

"Y/n."

His cold voice snapped you out of your thoughts, and you take a hesitant step back, words slipping out before you even processed them, "I know you're not real."

The feral look that overtakes his expression has you reeling back, and you took off running in the opposite direction. Glass crunches beneath your shoes as you dashed from corridor to corridor, lungs burning and muscles aching from the rush of adrenaline. He called for you repeatedly, and you didn't dare turn back to see how far he's caught up with you. With every turn, his voice grew louder and closer, before a flash of black sends you flying back onto the floor. Your body skids onto the ground, shards of glass pricking at your skin. With a rush of adrenaline fueling your system, you hardly wince as you scrambled back from the towering figure, glass piercing your skin in the process.

You feel an excruciating burst of pain in your foot, and before you had the opportunity to pull your leg back, he slams his foot down onto your ankle once more, grinding the joint roughly with his boot. A loud cry of pain escapes your throat and you to struggle wildly to escape his unrelenting grip.

You glance up and through your tears, you make out the gleam of a large piece of glass in Seonghwa's hands, his threatening, blown out pupils pinning you down like trapped prey. Turning the large shard in his hand to examine it, he hums sarcastically before peering down at you with a quirked brow, "You know, I'm offended." Kneeling down to your level, he traces your cheek with a glass, watching your skin split at the action and beads of blood oozing out from the scratch, "And here I thought we were such good, close friends."

Without missing a beat, your hands flew to grasp the shard, roughly ripping it into the soft tissue of his eye and slipping past his frame to stagger to the nearest broken window. You hear a groan from behind you as he doubles over in shock, blood overflowing from his ruptured eye and spilling down his scowling face. Pain surged with every step you took, but if this was your only option to escape, you think maybe the idea of couple of broken bones doesn't sound too bad.

Hastily, you stepped over the windowsill, your arms and legs catching on the jagged teeth of glass remaining, your clothes tearing in the process. You took a sharp inhale before curiously taking a look back at Seonghwa one last time. The sight of him lunging after you has you falling forward and out of the window. It felt as if gravity had slowed the pace of your fall, and you held eye contact with Seonghwa as your frame descended down from the third story floor. Darkness fogged your eyesight, his figure vanishing within the black abyss.

The impact hit you like a truck, and you sat up with a loud intake of breath on your warm bed. Your chest heaved heavily as you took in your surroundings. You suddenly realize you're in Wooyoung and Yeosang's shared room that hasn't been occupied in months. Your eyes fall onto your feet, and your brows furrow in confusion as a sudden thought invades your head.

You faintly remember your ankle being crushed, but it seemed to feel just fine now. When you attempted to recall why you thought it had been broken, it felt like your mind was searching for a forgotten and fragmented memory. After calming your breathing and thoughts, you sit up to go and find your friend.

You called Wooyoung's name repeatedly, but the silence you were met with indicated he wasn't home.

Peering into your room, you hoped to find him sleeping, however your eyes landed on the wall, the sight of messily painted words catching your attention almost immediately.

Where there are flowers, there are butterflies.

Painted flowers and butterflies littered the wall, the excess ink dripping down into lines onto the wooden floorboards.

"Do you like it?"

You jumped at the voice behind you, swiftly turning around to meet the sight of a familiar head of blue hair. You stood there, mouth agape as you silently stared long and hard at the man that once held and loved you in his arms. A long silence followed suit, hanging in the air like the calm before a storm. A breeze hardly stirred from the open window and not a sound could be heard save for the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.

The forbidding, subtle grin displayed on his features filled you with dread, and the mere sight of him gave your brain a debilitating shock. Your knees couldn't hold your weight any longer, and with buckling limbs, you were sent crashing down onto the floor, the look of disbelief and horror never leaving your expression.

You stared at him but it felt like you couldn't quite focus your gaze on him as he peered down at you in mock pity, a condescending smile playing on his lips. His dark gaze seared you as he crouched down to meet your eye level, hand reaching to cup your cheek as he leaned in to press numerous kisses onto your lips. The gesture was void of the warmth and care you remembered, and you sat still as he trailed fleeting kisses down your the column of your neck, his lips attaching fervently onto your clavicles.

"I missed you so much," you began, catching his attention. Pulling away from your irritated flesh, he quirked his brows at your words, hands brushing the hair out of your face as he let out a chuckle. His finely-chiseled face, illuminated by the oil lamps on the wall, broke into a fond expression. Pulling you close to his frame, he pressed your head against his chest, head dipping to kiss into your hair.

"Do you really?" Your brows furrowed slightly, eyes blinking away the tears as you wrapped your arms around his torso, head pressed against his chest. It's been too long without the feeling of your lover's arms around you. It's just been way too long for you, "If you miss me that much then-"

While nuzzling his chest, you come to realization he lacked a heartbeat, and with that thought striking your mind like lightning, you detached yourself from his form instantly. He eyed your trembling form without any sign of amusement.

"Don't look at me like that!" Cowering back against the wall, you broke into screams of despair, fingers pulling handfuls of your hair as you shook your head rapidly, "You're dead— you're not real!" you slapped the heels of your palms against your temple repeatedly, eyes scrunched shut, "Not real! Not real! This is all just my imagination!"

He released a chilling laugh that traveled down your spine and left your fingers and toes numbingly cold. A sudden gust of wind sent the crispy, autumn leaves scampering wildly into the window while also extinguishing the lamplights that illuminated the room, plunging it into darkness.

You only had a second to register his close proximity, your pupils dilating instantly, before a hand latched onto your throat, ramming your head back against the wall in the process. His vice-like, lithe fingers squeezed around your windpipe, successfully blocking your air flow as you squirmed in his relentless hold, lungs burning and diaphragm spasming.

"You'll join me so we can be together again, hm?"

The fist around your throat choked your response, and he tilted his head with a mocking smile, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

His hold only faltered ever so slightly to give you enough air to speak, "I don't want to die," your reply was a little more than a ghost of a breath.

"But, baby," his fingers coiled around your neck, pressing unforgivingly hard until your darkening vision littered with stars, "don't you realize you're already on the brink of death. Just give in, y/n. Don't keep fighting."

The silence of the atmosphere contributed to the solemnity in the air, and despite the clear blue skies and warm sun, there was a relentless chill in Wooyoung's heart. The black-haired male crouched down over the grave, gently placing a small bundle of roses onto the base of the tombstone.

"Happy birthday, Joong," he mused sadly, his puffy, tired eyes flickering over to the sides where the other tombstones lay.

"I'm so sorry for breaking my promise," he blinked rapidly to rid himself of the stinging tears threatening to spill, nose scrunching slightly as he sniffled, "I should've been there that day- shouldn't have let y/n come here alone- and.."

"You know nothing was your fault, Woo. Stop blaming yourself for something you had no control of."

A hand clutched his shoulder, and he peered with tear-filled eyes to give the blonde male a grateful smile, before turning back to the grave, "Yeosang's awake now though and- and the doctors said that y/n's case isn't as bad as his was, so we have hope."

"Y/n is a stubborn fighter," Yeosang offered the other a small smile, crouching down to rub his trembling friend's back, "Everything will be okay in due time."

"I hope so.. and I hope you'll forgive me, Hongjoong," Wooyoung murmured, watching two small butterflies flutter and chase each other around the blossoming flowers atop of Hongjoong's grave.

[writteninkat]

vii - stargazing idiots

word count - 2,854

warnings - reader goes through what is caused by past trauma, mentions of death, mentions of murder

"Angels like you can't fly down hell with me. I'm everything they said I would be."

index

Right after All Might showed up, your body gave up on you and Tsuyu and Izuku had to help keep you up. Your eyelids felt heavier than ever and your head felt like it was going to burst. Your breathing is ragged and the last thing you see is Aizawa's bloodied body before darkness swallows you hole.

It's cold. So very cold.

You open your eyes only to be greeted by a never ending darkness. You feel like you're floating in water.

"Y/n." You hear his all too familiar voice. It's deep, if you could feel it it would feel like rubbing against sandpaper, it's also very cold and a sound that's void of any emotion.

"You did this to me." All of a sudden, Aizawa is standing in front of you, face bloodied and brusied, arms broken and turned to numerous directions. "Why are you so weak?!" He yells as tears begin streaming down your face.

You curl your body, placing your hand on your ears to try and block out your teacher's voice, but it's as if they're everywhere. They're around and inside you.

"I died because of you!" Aizawa yells, gis voice echoing inside your head. "The nomu didn't kill me, you did! You are a murderer! It's because you're so weak that I died!"

You scream, your body feeling immense pressure as hot tears stream down your face. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You yell.

"You killed me. You can never be a hero. You are a murderer, you hear me! I murderer!" You open your eyes, your body shaking as you watch his hand about to grab you.

"I'm not a murderer!" You yell, your eyes opening to the sight of a white ceiling. "Y/n! Calm down! It's just a nightmare!" You hear his gruff voice beside you, it always managed to calm you down. As you turn your head to face him, Katsuki can't help but feel his heart break at the sight of your cheeks wet with tears and eyes red and puffy.

"Suki..." You sob, your body immediately being pulled into a warm hug as Katsuki whispers shushes into your ear. His hand strokes your hair as his arms tigten around you. "It's okay, just let it all out. Cry to me. I'm right here."

Your loud sobs and yelling fill the rooms, even alerting some of the nurses but Katsuki motions for them to leave you two alone.

Your heart feels like it's being crushed and it feel difficult to breathe. Despite this, you don't want Katsuki to let you go. You don't want his familiar warmth to leave your side, not now when you're feeling especially vulnerable.

When your sobs quiet down, Katsuki slowly pulls away, looking into your eyes. "Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here." He shushes, wiping away your tears as his eyes analyze yours.

"You're okay. What made you cry out like that?" He asks, thumb caressing your cheek softly. You place a hand on his wrist, melting into his touch as you closed your eyes, letting your tears fall.

"Aizawa sensei... He... I killed-"

"We heard Y/n was yelling. What's wrong?!" Midnight barges in, making you immediately turn to her. Behind her she has Present Mic and someone else who's wrapped up in bandages.

Your eyes widen, "Aizawa... sensei..." You mutter, the bandaged-up person tilting his head to the side. "Yes? Are you okay, Y/n?"

Tears fill your eyes again, but this time, there's no longer weight on your shoulders or heart and it feels much easier to breathe. You start sobbing once again, Katsuki looking lost and confused as to what he's supposed to do.

"You're not dead!" You sob, "I thought I killed you- hic- because I was too weak!" You cry out, using your knuckles to wipe away your tears only for them to be replaced by new ones.

"I thought I became a murderer-hic-because I was too weak to protect you, and you died because of me!" You don't even notice Aizawa walking up to you. Despite his bandaged state and the casts he has on both arms, he pulls you into a slightly awkward hug. You wrap your arms around his torso, careful not to hurt him with it.

"Why are you carrying such a burden? Why do you have such thoughts, little girl?" Aizawa asks, his tone hurt. "I have these injuries because I chose to protect you, my students. If I ever get hurt, never, and I mean never blame yourself for it."

You bury your face onto his chest, tears rolling at his words. "Heroes go through stuff like these every time. We sacrifice ourselves to protect the weak and also to keep the peace. In your journey to becoming a hero, you will encounter many situations like these, some are even more worse. But just remember my words-" he pushes you softly, looking down at your swollen eyes. "-have courage, have faith on yourself and the people around you. Trust in them to prevail through just like how you will. Remember that we are all strong because we are heroes but that doesn't mean we have to carry all the burden by ourselves. Be good to yourself and let go if you need to. You're only sixteen, it's okay to act like a child sometimes."

You never thought you'd hear those words from your homeroom teacher who always seemed so indifferent, but at the end of the day, he truly does care about his students from the bottom of his heart.

"Good evening, visiting hours ended five minutes ago. Only miss L/n's guardian if allowed to stay with her." A nurse knocks on your open door, catching everyone's attention.

"I'll be her guardian-" Katsuki cuts off Midnight's words, "Not so fast. I'm her guardian."

"None of you are my guardians." You sigh, "It's been a tiring day and I just want you all to rest. Especially you guys, Aizawa sensei and Katsuki." You move to lay on your bed, but Katsuki raises you a questioning brow.

"What do you mean long day? You've been out for two days." Your eyes widen at his words. You turn to look at the teachers and they all giving knowing nods. "Wait- so does that mean-" You point at Katsuki who rolls his eyes, "Yes, dumbass. I've been watching over you this whole time." At the realization of his words, Katsuki turns away to hide his blush and yet again, fails to notice the red tips of his ears.

"Anyway, the doctors say that you'll be discharged tomorrow morning so you can-" You cut of Aizawa, "Finally go back to school!" You sigh, stretching your arms out and then letting out a sigh.

"I was going to say stay home and rest but if that's what you want then I won't stop you. Bakugou." Katsuki turns around, his face and ears no longer flushed and is back to it's natural scowling state. "I'm not sure how or why your parents allowed you to stay here at the hospital but I'm glad at least someone is taking care of her. There are many qualified pros scouting this area especially at night so you two can rest easy."

With one last nod, the teachers all walk away, bidding the two of you good night. The door closes and you reach over to take your phone from the bedside table, unlocking it. Your eyes widen at the sight of forty-seven missed calls from your mom and just as many number of unread text messages.

"Your mom was called by the school about your situation and assured her that you were alright, but I guess that didn't stop her from blowing up your phone." Katsuki says, eyes on the apple he's peeling.

"Sorry about that, I bet you didn't get enough sleep with all the calling." Your eyebrows knit together in cringe as you force out a smile to which Katsuki shakes his head at. "Your mom is probably the one who didn't get any sleep at all. You should call her and ensure to her that you're alright." He points the knife at your phone before returning back to peeling the apple.

You call your mother in facetime and it rings twice before she answers. "Y/n oh my god! Are you alright, baby?! No, don't answer that. I'm on my way there right now-"

"Mom, what do you mean on your way- here in Japan?" Your eyes scan her background, heart falling to your stkmach as you recognize the airport.

"Hold on! Stop, stop! Mom! You have work back there in the states, you can't come to Japan."

"But you're hurt-"

"Mom," You sigh, "Look, I'm sorry for worrying you. But I swear, I'm fine. Just a few bruises and scrapes but what's a hero without scars, am I right?"

Your mom looks like she stopped walking as she sends you a wordied expression to which you smile reassuringly at her. "I'm fine, mom. Don't worry about me. I'll be able to take care of myself."

"But who's taking care of you in the hospital? I'm going there right now and-"

"Mom, even if you did come here now, I'll be discharged by the time you get here. Plus-" you look at Katsuki who's busy slicing the apples into little slices, designing them to look like bunnies. "-Someone's already taking care of me here. I'll be fine."

Your mother sighs, defeated as you watch her turn around. "Just- stay safe okay? I don't have anyone else."

"I know, mom. I love you so much."

"I love you more, my baby girl."

The two of you pucker your lips for a kiss before ending the call. You lean your back onto your now inclined bed, looking down at the bunny slice Katsuki is offering you. He still has that glare in his eyes, but if you look into them even more, they're much more softer. You take the slice from his fingers, letting out a soft thank you before taking a bite.

"When you blamed yourself a while ago." He starts, making you flinch at the topic. "Don't do that again."

"Suki-"

He slams the knife onto the table, "Please. It's not your fault. Even the strongest people have weaknesses. Don't put all the weight on yourself, please."

Your eyes widen at how vulnerable his voice sounds right now. You reach over, placing a hand on his soft hair. You smile softly, "Alright. I'm sorry I did that. I promise to rely on you more."

Katsuki looks up at you, eyes glassy and face flushing. "I never said you needed to rely on m-"

"I wanna look at the stars." You cut him off quickly, hopping off your bed to saunter towards the window. You push the glass window open, leaning in and taking a deep breath of the cold night air, smiling. You look up at the stars, wishing you had access to the rooftop since the view would be better up there.

"You know, we are at the twenty fifth floor of the hospital." Katsuki says, folding the fluffy blanket that you didn't even realize you were using. You don't think it's yours given that you've never seen it before. Was it Katsuki's?

"What are you saying?" You ask, letting him put on a sweater on you. Again, this piece of warm clothing wasn't yours as well. But by the sweet caramel scent it gave off, you come to a conclusion that this belonged to the angry blond gremlin who is currently standing on the window why the hell is he standing on the window?!

"Bakugou! Are you crazy?! Get off the window now!" You yell, pulling at his pants. "Oh stop being a square." He pushes the warm blanket on you, pulling you with him off the window and out of the hospital room. Before you let out a scream, he uses his quirk to push you two upwards, his hand gripping your sides tightly as your feet land on the cemented rooftop of the hospital.

At the notice of you no longer in the doorstep of death, you resort to hitting Katsuki's arm, letting your mouth run as you lecture him about how dangerous that act was. He responds to your reprimanding with a loud, milky, genuine laugh. Your hand comes to a hault as well as your mouth and you just stand there, awestruck at how handsome Katsuki actually looks when he's smiling.

You place a closed hand on your chest, feeling as your heart thumps against it vigorously. Ah, there it was again. The butterflies in your stomach that made your body feel lighter than it usually felt and your drying throat as well as your sweating palms.

"Come on, I find stargazing relaxing." He says, the usual angry tone of his voice gone, catching you off guard. He wraps his hand around your wrist softly, pulling you towards the center of the rooftop. He places the soft blanket on the ground, folding it once so it isn't too thin before laying down, patting the empty space for you. You mirror his actions, laying down beside him as you gazed up at the stars.

"You ever wonder what the alternative universe us are like?" You ask, eyes staring up at the twinkling stars as Katsuki raises a brow, turning his head towards you. "You believe in that bullshit?" He chuckles, making you gasp. "Don't call it bullshit! What else are the stars for??"

Katsuki presses his lips together to stop his laughter, "I don't know~ What are they for?" He asks you, tone sarcastic and pushing you off the edge. "To tell us about the future, and to show us how many other worlds are there other than ours!"

Katsuki can no longer hold in his laughter, clutching his stomach as he laughs his heart out. You narrow your eyes at him, pouting and crossing your arms against your chest. "Let me guess, let me guess." Katsuki wipes a tear away, "You also believe in the red string of fate?"

"How could you not believe it when-" You stop yourself from continuing your words. How could you not believe it when it caused the two of us to meet?

"When what? Come on, tell me! I promise not to laugh." You turn away, sitting up. Katsuki is still laughing as he follows you, taking your hand in his. "What else do I not know about you?" He asks, curling his four fingers with yours as he stands his thumb up, preparing for a thumb wrestle. You follow his actions and the two of you start the game. "I can't swim." You start.

"I had a pet goldfish but it died after a week." Katsuki chuckles.

"I only ever had two friends growing up- they were my mother's bodyguards. Eliot and Andrew."

"I like to cook."

"I still have my stuffed toys from when I was young."

"I tried to learn how to drive but after almost running over a cat, I swore never to drive again."

"I was pretty popular in middle school."

You chuckle, "I was bullied in middle school."

Katsuki stops moving his thumb, allowing you to pin his down. Your face brightens up as you smile, "I win!" You look up at him, smile almost immediately falling at the sight of his grin expression.

His head drops, covering up his eyes. "Hey, what happened? Did I say something wrong? Come on Suki, talk to me."

"I'm- Do you hate bullies?" He asks, his head still hanging.

"Well, hate is a strong word..." You look up at the stars, as if they were going to give you the right word you were looking for. "But I dislike them. What's the point of putting down someone especially when they've done nothing wrong to you? I don't use the word hate because I don't want to use it incorrectly, but to me bullies are sometimes just misunderstood or something. They have that superiority complex and I like to think that they have it because of their past that we don't know about or the thoughts they have in their heads."

You feel him padding his thumb over your hand. "Hey, you okay?" You ask, cupping his jaw to make him look uo at you. The look in his eyes, takes you aback- he looks so sad and regretful which only stirrs up more questions in your head.

"You're so good. You're such a good person, Y/n." His words cause you to furrow your brows in confusion. What was going on inside his head?

He drops his head to your shoulder, "You're an angel, Y/n. People are so lucky to have you in their lives."

You don't even think twice before the words leave uour mouth. "Even you?"

It takes him a few moments to respond and you begin to think that you made a mistake asking him that, but you feel him nod on your shoulder. "Especially me."

[callingitaday]

Sweetness

Pairing : Fred Weasley x reader (fem)

wc: 2K+ Warnings : none.. I think

Gif owner: fgweasley

6 months. 6 months since the battle. 6 months since Lord Voldemort killed your family. 6 months of nightmares and sleepless nights. 6 months of wanting it all to end. 

*flashback *

“No! No! What  are you doing here? I told you to stay away” you yelled as your parents stepped onto the battlefield. 

“ We’re here to help honey” your mom spoke

“We need everyone to fight. He can’t win. Everything will be alright, we love you” your dad finished.

“Y/N help!” Neville yelled. Running over to help fight off a death eater when you hear your mom's screams echoing through the chaos causing you to turn around and let out a blood curdling scream. You see Voldemort killing your parents, making you drop to your knees.

“MOM” you cried out

Voldemort turns his attention to you. Immediately you stand to fight, tears clouding your sight before arms are wrapped around your waist lifting you off the ground. 

“We need to go”   Fred yelled as you fought against him.

*end of flash back*

Since your family was now gone, the Weasley's have taken you in as their own. Miss Weasley or Molly as she keeps reminding you ensures that everything will be okay and you always have and forever will be a part of this family. You appreciate hearing this as it helps you while transitioning into this new beginning. 

Fred checks on you multiple times throughout the day, which gets annoying sometimes but you love him so it’s okay. You know he knows something is wrong but didn’t know what or why I wouldn’t tell him why. Fred was your best friend, he was a year older but I didn’t really seem to matter. You told each other everything but you couldn’t seem to tell him about the nightmares or the fact that you were completely and utterly in love with him. Which is the way you’d like to keep it.

As another nightmare penetrated your mind, you were awoken in a cold sweat and tears daring to fall. 3 AM you sigh, quietly making your way downstairs to make some tea. Leaving a smell light on as you made your way to the front porch the cool air felt very welcoming against your burning skin. As you said that you let your mind wander free. Thinking about simple things like how summer days were hot and the evenings were cool, how lively the house always was, how the house always smells like a bakery because Mrs. Weasley makes something new to try every day. But also thinking about the battle of Hogwarts. To your parents, to everyone and everything you lost.

Due to being zoned out you weren’t exactly aware of the things around you. The stairs begin to squeak under the weight of someone making their way down.

“Y/N? What are you doing? It's almost 4 in the morning” Fred's sleepy voice came from behind you. 

“Couldn’t sleep” Fred came up next to you before sitting down. 

“ is everything okay?” 

You sat there in silence as you thought how to answer, you didn’t really know and didn’t really wanna cry anymore. 

“Y/N?” Fred spoke quietly

“sorry,  I’m fine”  now resting your head on his shoulder

“ you’re lying come on tell me what’s going on”

“Fred…’ A silent tear falling ‘I’m sorry I can’t do that right now. Just sit with me” 

“Okay but when you’re ready I’m ready” Fred pulls you into a hug kissing your forehead. He held you for a while and once he was satisfied that you would be heading back to bed too he himself headed upstairs. Soon enough you too made your way up to bed. Letting your head hit the pillow, your eyes close. As you let the tiredness take over, hoping tomorrow will be better.

It was still early when you woke back up. The girls were still sleeping and you could hear the quick chirping of the birds outside. Quietly changing into some shorts and a t-shirt before making your way downstairs. Peeking into Ron's room as you passed, both Ron and Harry were still dead asleep and Ron was snoring quite loudly causing you to giggle a bit.

Molly was starting to make breakfast “Oh! Good morning dear” 

“Good morning” you spoke gently as you entered the kitchen. “Fresh tea is on the table” Molly added, you responded with a smile before taking a seat at the table. 

“Morning boys”

“Morning” they said in unison. George never took his eyes off the paper they were working on but Fred looked up. He tilted his head a little, giving you a smile. You look down at your cup, taking in a deep unsteady breath before looking back up at him. Forcing a small smile while taking a sip of your tea. Molly slowly started putting breakfast on the table and yelled up the stairs that breakfast was ready. You weren't that hungry but still grabbed a biscuit.

Fred kept looking at you, a sweet but concerned look covered his features as he observed you picking at your food and tinkering with the cup of tea. Wanting to be out from under Fred's gaze you got up and dumped out the old tea to make a new cup. “Not hungry dear? Is everything okay?” Molly asked. “ eh, not really but I'm okay. Just a bit tired” you gave a reassuring smile.

“Alright, im here is you need anything” 

Heading out to the front porch for some fresh air, taking a seat in one of the old rocking chairs. Not long after the screen door snapped shut and the porch squeaked just a little under the wait of  the person approaching. You stayed in your own little world, never looking up from your cup. In all honestly you didn't have too, you knew who it was the second he walked through the doorway. You could smell him, he always smelt like fire embers and sweets, and to be frank it was a bit intoxicating for you. He didn’t say anything as he sat next to you. You knew what he wanted, what he was thinking. You knew he wanted to know about the nightmares but at the same time he didn't want to pry.

“ i’m sorry. I know that if I asked you, you would have listened and tried to help. I didn't want to bother anyone with my problems. Everyone that day lost someone they cared about, I'm not special because I lost my parents. This is my burden and my burden alone. But these nightmares that invade my head are slowly killing me” you paused, finally looking over at Fred. He sat with tears in his eyes, a few of your own fell down your cheek at the sight. 

“Every night I watch him kill them. I watch as the light dies in their eyes. Every night I'm back at the battle. Every Night i hear the deafening screams of everyone there”  shaking your head as you quickly wiped your face, taking a deep breath.

Fred grabbed your hands in his own “I’m sorry you felt like you had to go through this alone but you're being too hard on yourself. It is okay to grieve your parents and our friends. It's okay to be sad. It's all okay but what's not okay is letting these feelings destroy you. I'm here for you, everyone in this house is here for you, but I'm here whether it be at 2 in the afternoon or 2 in the morning.” 

You pulled Fred into a hug and whispered a thank you as he gripped you tighter. 

The summer day continued as normal. The boys decided to play little mini quidditch games while you, Ginny, Hermione and George’s (she is not my girlfriend!) girlfriend Angelina sat out sunbathing watching them play. A letter from Charlie had arrived in the afternoon insisting that he needed Molly and Aurther to come out for something very important though he didn't say what it was. This led to Molly giving us all a very stern talking about how we needed to be on our best behavior, absolutely no funny business, to not burn down the house and they would be back in a day or two. 

As the evening approached Ron helped Harry set up something called a projector so that we could watch some movies outside around a fire. George had brought out some whiskey to sip on and this is where things started to get a little awkward for you. Only 4 blankets were set up. One for each couple and apparently one for you and Fred to share. 

After this morning, Fred was keeping an even closer eye on you than before. Being around him on a day to day basis was hard enough but now you're just in a constant state of butterflies and embarrassment. He's caught you staring like a dozen times today and now you had to sit next to him and act like everything was fine while the couples paid more attention to each other than the movie. 

You tried to make yourself comfortable but nothing was working. Even tried to lay down but your arm kept falling asleep. Eventually you gave up and just pulled your knees up to wrap your arms around them and lay your head on your knees.

“You can lay your head on me….. If- if you want too” Fred whispered, close enough that you could smell the whiskey on his breath. Hesitant at first but giving in and not moments after you laid your head in his lap that you fell asleep. 

“y/n… y/n'' you jolted awake as Fred said your name. “ Hey you're okay, yeah” He talked low and slow as he tucked some hair behind your ear. Finally sitting up and looking around, the movie was still playing and only George and Angelina were gone. 

“What happened?” 

“You were starting to whimper and saying no over and over again and you had a pretty good grip on my - umm- my thigh” 

“Oh.. Im sorry” that was all you could say, you knew it was because of the nightmare. “Its okay”

“I think I should go to bed” you blurted out

“Yeah, yeah sure I'll walk you up” Fred said as he stood and reached his hands out to help you up.

You just stood there for a moment while you stared down at your now intertwined hand before looking up at him. His lips were already formed in an admiring smile which you copied before setting your other hand just above his wrist and setting your head on his upper arm. Fred leaned down and kissed the top of your head “come on”

Fred only let go of your hand when you got to the stairs to allow you to go up first. Your courage began to build with each step up you took, finally at the top you stopped and turned on your heel to face Fred. Almost face to face with him but even with you on higher ground he was still taller. Your eyes flickering between his and his lips. Steadily bringing your hands up to his face before planting your lips on his. He was definitely taking back but quickly recovered and his hands gripped your hips and pulled you closer to him.

Both only stopping because oxygen was much needed. Slowly you open your eyes only to see Fred's got this shit eating grin plastered across his face. You laughed “what?”

“Oh nothing, you know you should just feel so lucky to have been able to kiss me”

“FRED!” you smacked his chest as he erupted in laughter before putting his hands in the arm in defense  “Im kidding! Only kidding”

“Can I stay with you tonight?” you say in a hushed tone

“Of course you can sweets”

“Mhm sweets? I kinda like it” 

“ oh yeah? Well I would call you that all the time if you were mine” Fred stated matter-of-factly. You set your hands on each side of his neck “Promise?” 

“Promise” he repeated back to you as he lifted you up causing you to let out a yelp and wrap your legs around him. He slowly made his way to his door before opening it and stepping inside. Shutting and locking it before leaning over the bed, laying you on your back. 

He gave you a few more small kisses before taking off his shirt and laying next to you and pulling you close to him. 

 You couldn’t believe this was happening but you were more than ecstatic. Maybe now those nightmares would stop, maybe now you wouldn't dread going to bed. Maybe now everything would be okay. Still with your head on his exposed chest you thanked him for everything and that if this was actually happening that he would always be enough for you just the way he was because he was now your sweet boy. 

“Always my sweets” was the last thing spoken before sleep took both of you.

[osamusriceballs]

hi! can i request a scenario for suna when he finds out that his s/o has anxiety and some mental health problems? like angst with happy ending. (sorry for bad English, it's my second language) have a nice day 💖

Anon, please feel hugged and loved right now. I'm sending you everything that's left from my heart, and I WOULD SELL ALL OF MY HAIKYUU MERCH TO MAKE YOU SMILE JUST ONCE!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!

But- you know that I'm bad at writing angst, but I'll still do my very best for you!

Feel free to always slide into my DM's, I'm all yours if you ever feel like talking, ranting, laughing or whatever else.

I actually read the Inarizaki match again today, to get a better insight of his character, I hope I can portray Suna in a convincing way for you! 

Hope this is okay for you!

PS: Uhm, seriously, your English is perfectly fine, I don't even see a single mistake, I'm also not a native speaker, so don't worry about things like that!!

______________

Bad days

Suna x Reader Warnings: Slight Angst  Words: 1 k

_______________

It was too much.

Everything was too much.

From one moment to the next you could feel how an invisible weight was pushing you down, making it hard for you to breathe. You could feel the panic in your chest, and your eyes glanced in fear to the right and left, to see if someone noticed your change.

The sound of the people around you was overwhelming, making you want to press your hands against your ears to shut them off. Their gazes, the smells in the hallway, everything was so familiar, yet it felt so wrong right now.

You tighten the grip around your bag and slowly walk out of the entrance, your hands shaking, and your breath getting heavier with every second.

You sat in the bus with your bag pressed to your chest. Your tried to cover your face with your hair- the weak attempt to hide your pained expression.

You don't know how, but you made it home. You approached your apartment with heavy steps, and weakly pushed keys into the lock to open the door.

You sunk to the floor, arms clung around your legs, and your face turned down to your chest. You heart was out of control, you felt like it could explode any second. Panic attacks like this always made you feel so lonely and helpless. You didn't dare to call someone, to afraid to burden them- you always endured this all alone.

You were only able to sit on the ground. You often had these attacks, that's why you knew that you would have been doomed to wait until they are over, unable to do anything. You wished you could be in your bed, wrapping the blanket around you, and cry until you felt better- until the empty feeling inside you would finally be gone. But you couldn't stand up, so you just stayed on the cold ground, losing the feeling of time.

A noise made you look up in panic. Suddenly you can feel how the door is pushed into your back. You held your breath, and somehow manage to crawl to the side. The door swung open, and a familiar dark haired men came in.

His gaze immediately went down to you, frowning, but not saying anything.

He looked at you concerned. Your hair was messy, and your eyes widened in panic, and even your breath was out of control. The way your arms clung to your knees was heartbreaking.

He had this suspicion for a while now. Somedays when you just were too tired to get up, or when you wouldn't respond to his texts, he thought that there was more behind it.

He sometimes noticed how your breath got heavy in crowds, and how you always clung to his hands, that's when he thought you could might suffer from anxiety. Seeing you like this only confirmed what he already suspected. It was anxiety.

“Y/n”. His voice was quiet but you could hear that he was worried.

“Go-away- Rintarou” you manage to pant, still afraid to let go of your body.

Him seeing you like this- you knew how he would react. You tried your best to keep this from him, but you always felt bad when you lied to him, causing you panic attacks to get even worse.

His presence did nothing to calm you down now. You couldn't look at him- you could imagine the deprecating look on his face, he was probably disgusted by your current state. He wouldn't want to deal with a nuisance like you, why should he? He liked to take the easy way, and you were a lot, but definitely not easy to handle. Not on days like this.

You don't know how long he stands there in silence, you could only hear your loud pants, until his voice disrupts your thoughts.

“Can I stay?”

You gasp at his words, causing you to almost faint due to the lack of oxygen.

He wanted to stay?

He saw you like this and wanted to stay?

You didn't know if it was a good idea, but you were to weak to decline.

“Y-Yes.”

As soon as the words leaves your lips he takes a step in your direction and you feel something soft and warm around your shoulders. His jacket. He draped it around you, and slightly hesitates to see if his touch made it worse for you. When he saw that you didn't mind it, he kept going.

Suna got on his knees and you can feel his arms around your body when he presses you against his chest. His hand slowly rubs circles around your back and you can hear his heartbeat, slow and steady, a sound you tried to focus on, while you were suppressing your tears.

He saw you in this state. You could never make this undone. He would leave you.

“Breathe, y/n. Just breathe. You're doing good.”

Suna's voice was comforting. His calm voice seemed to remove the weight on you, and you could slowly try to steady your breath.

He was there for you, patiently waiting for your heartbeat to slow down.

“You're doing so well. Just keep on going. I promise you'll be better soon.”

His words slowly managed to calm you down. It didn't took long until you could finally look at his face.

He didn't look disgusted, he only seemed relieved to see that you were better.

“Rintarou- I'm so sorry”, your voice was quiet and you look to the ground.

Suna's hand comes to your chin and forces you to look at his face. His intense gaze seemed to analyze every single feature of your face, like he wanted to remember it forever. He quickly presses a kiss to your lips before he says the words you needed to hear the most.

“Don't apologize. You don't have to explain anything. I'm here for you no matter what.”

[love101imagines]

Here for you

(sinan | imagine)

request: could u please write a fic w prompts 3,11,23 for Sinan? maybe with him wanting y/n to tell him about her problems, so he can help, but she doesn't want to bother him with it

tags: @sinanfails @zaynlikfalls @girl-looking-out-window @imtoolazytothinkofacoolname

prompts used: 3. It's getting late, I'm not letting you walk home alone. 11. You have to stop running away from your problems. 23. Why are you crying?

"Then that's all set, I'll take with Tuncay tomorrow and (Y/N)...(Y/N)?" Osman repeated himself, nudging you with his arm.

You snapped out of your trance and looked around to find five concerned faces.

"Are you alright?" Işik asked, her voice laced with her usual worry. "What were you thinking about?"

You gave them a small smile hoping they wouldn't ask any more questions. "Yeah, I'm fine. So, you'll talk with Tuncay and Işik and I will go with Burcu, right?"

It didn't take them long to return back at the main topic, concluding with the next plan to avoid their expulsion. The rest soon left, you staying behind to help Sinan with all the leftover cans.

"Are you okay?" He asked after you two picked up every cushion and fixed the chairs a bit.

You only hummed in agreement, quickly glancing at your watch and biting your lower lip once you noticed how late it was. "Fuck, my parents are working and they can't pick me up. I better get going, I'll see you tomorrow."

Before you could even grab your bag, Sinan was already standing up from his seat. "It's getting late, I'm not letting you walk home alone."

You rolled your eyes. "I live five blocks away. You don't have to."

"I don't mind." He quickly replied before opening the door for you.

You sighed, your mind on all the things you would have to do once you arrived home, but now, you tried to focus on the comfortable silence that lingered between you and the boy.

You two had been friends for a while, meeting because you lived close to each other and would ride the ferry every day together. But still, when he almost got expelled and he needed your help to make your teacher fall in love, you two became closer. And you knew he could see right through you.

It wasn't that you didn't trust him, and you knew him too well to know that he wouldn't judge you or something, but you didn't want to be a burden. He already had too much on his plate, the expulsion, his family issues, his alcoholism, and the way everything he said was taken the wrong way.

"Do you want me to stop by your house tomorrow? We have a Maths test so we can review the topics before going to school." You offered once you two stopped in front of your house.

He nodded absentmindedly. "Are you sure you're okay? You were zoned out all meeting long."

"I've told you I'm fine, I'll see you tomorrow." You said in a harsher way than you meant to. But still, that was the only way he would drop the subject.

With one coffee in your hand and the other ringing Sinan's bell, you waited patiently in front of his door. Despite downing twice what was recommended of a container of aspirins, you still felt like shit. However, you had a test that day and you wouldn't skip school. You had to go, achieve the best grade, and then continue with that same routine.

"Hi!" You greeted Sinan as enthusiastically as you could, trying to ignore how your head was pounding.

He looked at you a bit confused about why you were wearing your jacket even if it was a sunny day. "Hey."

You didn't waste time and started walking next to him to the ferry, ranting about the latest film you had seen to try to focus on something else.

"Uh, (Y/N)..." He started slowly, your knees touching once you two sat down. "You don't look so well."

You furrowed your brows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean you're extremely pale." He continued a bit annoyed. "Are you sick? We can stop by the hospital or the nurse's office." He offered.

You shrugged. "No, I'm fine." You brushed it off leaning against the back of your seat. "Now, help me with this, please. I think I understand everything but last night I did the exercises again and..."

"Last night?" He interrupted you, raising a brow. "It was late last night when you left, when did you sleep?"

You didn't answer, standing up from your seat once the ferry reached its stop. "I already told you not to worry about me. Let's go, I don't want to be late."

"You have to stop running away from your problems." He said following you.

Truth be told, you weren't fine. As soon as you finished your test you couldn't keep your eyes open, sleeping during the rest of the lessons with your head on Sinan's bag which was comfortable enough.

That afternoon, even if you were a coughing mess with a blanket draped in your shoulders, you opened your door to find Sinan.

"What are you doing here?" You asked confused, opening the door more so he could enter.

"Işik told me to bring this." He explained following you, his hand carrying a bag with a few pills containers.

He left them on your desk, furrowing his brows at how crowded your room seemed to be with books and school papers on the ground. You didn't seem to mind, returning to your place on your bed, him seating at the end of it.

"Why didn't you say you were sick earlier?" He asked.

"I'm not sick." You replied. "It's probably just allergies."

You could tell he was about to argue with you, but before he could get a word, a cough shaking your body cut you two. He moved closer to you, pressing the back of his hand against your forehead before you instantly pulled away.

"Fuck, you're burning up." He cursed under his breath.

He fumbled with the containers of pills, trying to decipher which one was the right one for you before noticing that you were grabbing a few papers to continue studying.

"No, give me that. You can't study." He scolded you taking the papers out of your hands.

You scoffed. "I still have homework to do and unlike some people, I want to graduate."

"Why are you so focused on that?" He asked with a serious voice. "Highschool is worthless. We'll only be here two more years and everything will be useless." He continued with his emotionless voice.

"Well, I can't think it's useless." You snapped back.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself. You couldn't tell him about all the pressure from your parents to get the best grades as possible. You couldn't tell him either about the disappointment they expressed whenever you didn't achieve their goals. He already had too much, you knew that.

He handed you an orange pill container. "Where do you have a thermometer?"

With a sigh, you slowly stood up from your bed and walked towards your bathroom. With a thermometer on your mouth, you watched Sinan as he grabbed a small towel before soaking it with cold water.

Your eyes closed as he pressed it against your forehead, hoping it would make you feel better.

"You know you can trust me, right?" He asked softly.

You nodded, your eyes still closed and your body shivering like you were in the middle of winter.

Once you two were sitting back on your bed and enough time had passed, you looked at the thermometer, letting a tired sigh once you couldn't avoid the truth anymore.

"I can't get sick." You mumbled. "We have another test tomorrow, and I have to turn in my Chemistry assignment. God, they won't let me turn it late, and..." You ranted, distress on your face.

"Why are you crying?"

You blinked at him, too caught up with your problems to even notice the trail of tears that were on your face. You quickly rubbed them off, trying not to cry even more once you noticed how concerned Sinan was looking at you.

He swallowed before speaking, his gaze on the floor. "...You know you can tell me if you want. I want to help you." He admitted, taking a chance and using his thumbs to wipe the tears that were left on your face.

With too many emotions to think straight, you hugged him. You clung tightly to his shoulders and burrowed your head into the crook of his neck, only waiting two seconds for him to wrap his arms around your waist, his fingertips rubbing slow circles while you found comfort on the small gesture.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." You mumbled, his skin muffling your voice. "I didn't want to bother you."

"I don't think I could ever be bothered by you." He admitted, surprising you by how honest he sounded. "I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way."

You pulled back a bit, your forehead still leaning against his shoulder. "I don't want you to get sick."

"I don't give a shit about getting sick."

His words made you chuckle, a small smile on your face as you continued like that. A weight was lifted from your shoulders as soon as you accepted that he only wanted to help and that you would never be a burden to him.

[starrysebastians]

things spies don’t notice

prompt : based off this request from @hamiltonofjakku

pairing : bucky barnes x reader 

word count : 2.4k

A/N : i went for something soft and simple, nothing extraordinary. this is probably a bit different from what you wanted? but i hope you like it? enjoy?

"Is this really happening? How old are you?" you complain louder than you think, rolling your eyes so hard it physically hurts you. You're sprawled all over the leather couch, legs propped up on the armrest and you know your back is resting against something hard — someone? But you don't really pay attention to it because tonight is all about drinking and blowing off some steam after months of grueling missions. Everyone in this room — Steve, Sam, Natasha, Clint, not Wanda and Vision because they went on a special getaway or something, not Tony because he also decided to take Pepper on a getaway, something spectacular and extravagant he said — loves what they do. It might be a love-hate relationship, because not everyone chose to do it. Not everyone entered this business with the right motivations, not everyone manages to deal with it on a daily basis. No one does. But at the end of the day, you're a team and you all know you've got each other's backs, and it makes it easier. It helps with the burden you have to carry whenever a civilian life is lost, whenever building collapse, whenever it gets too much.

The thing you're resting against moves, there's a weight being lifted off the sofa, and suddenly you fall down on your back, groaning because the ceiling gets all blurry for a second. "That hurt."

"Sorry about that," someone crouches down next to you so that your faces are on the same level, and you lazily turn your heard towards the voice, blinking a few times because it's been a few hours since you watched the sun set from the compound and you do not have the ability to see in the dark. "Didn't know you had that much to drink." Words spoken in a low voice, with a soft chuckle and blue eyes that manage to stay bright and perceptive despite the room only being lit by dimmed and cosy lights because that's how you and the rest of the team like to spend your festive evenings, when it's not some gala or fundraising organized by Stark Industries. You like it better when it is intimate and you can all relax. Maybe you can't swoon over James freaking Barnes wearing an all black suit — which is a gift from God — but he's right here in front of you, in a grey sweater that looks as soft as his skin, and black jeans, his hair in a bun with strands falling in front of his eyes, and he's as pretty as usual.

"Well — i'm not that drunk, considering i'm not the one who suggested playing spin the bottle to grown ass adults!" you raise your voice at the end of your sentence so that the rest of the room can hear you, but it doesn't really work, and your throat hurts. Maybe you sang a bit too much earlier when your favorite song came on.

"C'mon," Bucky stands up and you can only stare at him as he's towering above you, a hand extended towards you, lifting you up as you take it. You stumble a bit, and he has to put both hands on your waist to make sure you're not going to fall. Maybe the room is too hot, maybe it's the alcohol, but your cheek flush and he probably sees it. Given his abilities, maybe he can even feel your heartbeat quicken.

"I'm good." You squeak, pushing him slightly in order to take a seat next to Natasha on the floor, your thighs brushing against each other as you lean towards her. "I do not like this." She raises a brow and her lips quirk slightly as she watches Sam, Bucky and Steve sit next to each other, probably bickering, while Clint comes back with a refill. No one bothers telling him that he might have had enough to drink already, probably because no one cares. "Right. I'm sure you don't."

Turns out, everyone had a refill. And the bottle has been spinned many, many times. You can't remember the first thing you had to admit — because you're too tired to take on dares and you would rather leave this to Sam and Clint, who obviously enjoy being laughed at, not that you're complaining. It started out innocently, because someone needed to know who ate the last plate of that special recipe, or who had lied to a shield agent that had taken a special interest in Sam, telling them the last girl he had sex with had run off because his mother came by every morning to do the laundry — that one did not please him. Maybe you had to share a few personal details, and maybe some agents around you were paying more attention to what you were saying than others.

"Nat, c'mon. We all saw you leave with him, what happened?"

"I already answered your question. This is a second one. You have no right, and I don't have to answer. Next."

You don't know what they're bickering about and it lasts at least 5 minutes, but then you jump when your name is being shouted.

"Since it's on the table. Do you have a crush on anyone at the moment?"

It has to be a joke. Your eyes pop back open as your mouth hangs wide open, and the first person you cross eyes with has to be Bucky, otherwise it wouldn't be funny ; the whole universe is laughing at you right now. And he looks bored, legs lazily spread in front of him and his head slightly thrown back as he stares at you, a brow quirked. And you're a goddamn avenger who cannot be intimated by a question that could have been asked by a sixth grader.

"Someone's blushing!" Sam coos and you shoot him a dirty glare before straightening up.

"Please, this is so childish. I'm an avenger. You think I'm gonna waste my time pinning after a pretty boy? I don't do crushes," you say, rolling your eyes in an exasperated way to get your point across. You only get unimpressed looks. "I don't!"

"What about that Shield agent, the blond one?"

"Yeah, well it was boring. And that was not a crush. I was just asked out and I said yes. Because this guy I — anyway. I was bored. That's different."

"So you do know what a crush is. And you do have one, because you were bored, and this guy you like is dumb and — "

"I'll kill you with my bare hands and you know it." You didn't want that sentence to come out so slurred but it was still efficient.

For some reason they let it go, probably because your friends already know. Maybe you're not as subtle as you think, and the only person being oblivious to all of this, and the constant looks the team give you whenever you're near him, is Bucky Barnes himself. Or maybe he knows, because he's a spy and a soldier with heightened senses and there's no way he wouldn't notice the way your heart rate picks up at the sight of him, the way you usually avoid staring at him straight in his eyes — except when you're drunk because you don't know what you're doing right now — the way your whole face screams longing and admiration when he is doing the bare minimum. Maybe it's more than a crush. A crush usually happens with someone you don't know that much. Someone with pretty looks and maybe a nice laugh but you don't get to know them because you're to shy to approach them. 

But you've actually gotten to know the former Winter Soldier. By watching him interact with the team, bicker with Sam, subtly watch everything Steve does as if he was making sure he was alright like he did back in the days ;  there is this calm and soothing aura around him and it's like he is trying to redeem himself for what he did as a Hydra pawn by being the quiet one, the one who never causes any trouble. He knows not to touch Clint's sandwiches, the ones he makes so that it's ready when he comes back from training — the one Sam eats without remorse but not anymore, not since Bucky decided to hide it from him. He always leaves coffee in the pot, and he sits the furthest away from Wanda because he knows that sometimes she can feel his negative thoughts and he doesn't want to ruin her day. He is always, always paying attention to what is going on around him. Always.

So there's no way he doesn't know. And it's more than a crush. It is complete and absolute infatuation over someone who is way too good for you. And you're not in the mood to play anymore. Without even noticing what you're doing, your eyes are cast downwards and your lips in a pout, shoulders dropping and we all know how spies rely on body language to analyze their target.

Bucky's eyes are trained on you as your fingers play with your empty glass. He notices you subtly casting a desperate glance at Natasha, a look that screams : I want to get out of here, and he's not surprised when you finally get up, faking a yawn, stretching, and mumbling some nonsense about being too tired and this game being stupid and childish. You almost step on a glass you thought to be empty, but still knock it over. Bucky tells you he'll take care of it, that you should go to your room and rest, and it's his turn to mumble something about going to look for a napkin or something.

The elevator doors are about to close as you stare at the ceiling — which moves, by the way. There are dark spots that keep widening and that are probably gonna swallow you whole and —

"Hey — um, wait up!"

The noise is a bit too much for your intoxicated state and you visibly flinch when metal collides against metal. Bucky winces as he watches your face, sliding next to you while the door finally closes.

You smile at Bucky, and it probably looks a bit sad. "Hi"

"Hi," he breathes out. "You okay?"

You only nod, blinking more than three times in a few seconds.

"You sure? You had a moment, back there — you looked — " he sighs. "Are you sure you're okay?"

You stare at him for a moment, because if you focus hard on something then everything can stop moving and swaying around you and the background fades away. When the door open you still haven't said a word and Bucky gently cups your elbow to lead you to your quarters.

"You're a spy," you let out, maybe by mistake, but maybe because the alcohol is numbing and your filter is gone.

"Um — yeah?" he answers in a confused way, watching you warily as you stop in front of your door, turning to him, your eyes wide.

"You notice things. You're…you have heightened senses. You're not dumb." You state.

"I'm not —?” he scoffs. “Thanks, I guess?"

"Are you doing it on purpose?" your voice is smaller, and he notices how you seem to shrink away, as if dropping your shoulders was going to make you disappear into the ground.

"What are you talking about?"

"Ignoring me. You could just say you're not interested, you know. I know you know things. You always pay attention, you always know what people want because it's your job. How can you not know I want you?" Your eyes are filled with tears as you look at him, lips parted, eyebrows set in a desperate way.

"I'm — I do not — "

"You could just tell me!" There's a tear running down your cheek and it ends up on your lips and it's salty and it's too late to try and be proud, act like the sole idea of being in a room with him doesn't make your heart beat out of your chest.

"Y/N," Bucky takes a step forward, eyes wide, wider than you have ever seen them, not even on a mission, but maybe it's the alcohol playing tricks on your senses. "Y/N, sweetheart, I'm sorry, I never meant to make you feel like this."

"Never meant for me to like you because the feeling is not mutual because if it was then you would have said something, anything —"

"Never meant to hurt you. I do notice things. I thought you were… I thought you were scared or something. Intimidated, I mean. Not in a good way. Not in a crush kind of way, whatever word you're using with the team." 

He’s talking about the metal arm. About his past. There’s this unspoken thing where no one really adresses it because it’s over and it’s a way to show him that no one cares about what he did, no one thinks it’s a defining trait, but maybe he still does. There are things he does notice, but maybe sometimes he needs to be told things.

"But I like you. I like like you." You pout and his rosy lips part. “For you. For who you are. I know who that is because I see it everyday in the way you carry yourself and in the way you care about the people around you and I’m not scared. I like you.” You don’t notice him try and say something because things need to be shown. “You always leave coffee in the pot, and it’s not because you’re too lazy to make some, it’s because you don’t want anyone to find it empty. And you always make sure Sam doesn’t mess with Clint. You always watch over Steve. You make sure Wanda’s not affected by your moods or nightmares. You’re the one who replaced her dream catcher and you still haven’t told anyone about it because you’re  — you’re so kind and selfless and —”

“See, you notice things too.” He cuts your rambling, his flesh hand gently grabbing your forearm, pulling you flush against him. You can only look up, lashes fluttering against your tired eyes. 

“Well. I’m a spy.”

“The best one out of the two of us, obviously,” he mutters, hands resting on your waist.

“Obviously. If you hear my heartbeat right now, which I know you can. Are you gonna think I’m scared and about to run off? Or do you finally get it?” 

He rolls his eyes, hands squeezing you a bit tighter before the flesh one slides up your arm, fingers leaving a trail of chills on their way, and cups your cheek. “That’s very funny.” His eyes glitter as his lips brush against yours.

Maybe spies can be a bit clueless sometimes, but it’s okay.