#i'm worried too i think bcs two of my friends haven't.. reconciled yet? so. yeah it is possible i may have to deal w some stuff during prom
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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i shld sleep oh my god
#🌙.rambles#i am somehow not rlly sleepy despite barely having sleep but my head does ache slightly. but just a few more stuff left in this week n#i'll properly rest for a bit ! bcs next week even though we're gna have a break ofc there's like.. prom n then that vacation right after T_#gna be fun but i'm. definitely gna be rlly tired. n.. nah i need to stop overthinking abt sm stuff#just. anxious that i might end up being too shy. usually in social events like that i realize i#end up pushing myself a bit too much n then it ends w me just putting on a strong facade#i'm worried too i think bcs two of my friends haven't.. reconciled yet? so. yeah it is possible i may have to deal w some stuff during prom#fuck. i'm just. worried abt a lot of things in general. but i'm mostly overthinking it. everything.#sigh in general i'm being too harsh on myself again. wtf maybe it's the sleep-deprivation or smth bcs ik i'll manage it all#i believe in myself n know i'm capable but. it's just.. overwhelming rn i think. n it. hurts bcs it's like before in a way..? n like my wol#i wonder. what we'd all do if we were hypothetically given the chance to be able to do whatever we wanted in a day n have whatever we want#without changing the reality we have now or yeah no consequences at all. just a lil day in an alternate world we could control#if you were to choose for yourself n only for yourself what would you do?#sob ig i relate w rinoa too bcs of that strong facade part. i wrote that for my wol too#but like even w all that in the end uh. every time i read these sort of stuff it comforts me deep down#bcs i remember back then when i rlly just had my family#that.. loneliness. i write abt it a lot huh. not that i'm exactly seeking for something. maybe before bcs i didn't talk w my friends anymor#but now i suppose it's just something painfully constant. but not really too#i can't.. put it into words rn n i'm low on sleep. but i rmb just daydreaming to myself back then of my wol's development though#from heavensward.. sorta hiding herself n having to be strong for others. though she so desperately just wants to let her guard down#n be free yk. a break from all her responsibilities n rest.. she's young after all. but while i do relate with that it's still#yk particularly w the context of my wol being yeah the warrior of light in ffxiv. but. i rmb writing of how then that was being strong for#her. n.. yeah she was healing from stuff then. that's hw. but in stormblood ooh i wrote here that she put her emotions to the side#bottled them. became more serious n i tied that w being a samurai main back in stb w duty stuff help this connects well but it's funny#hesitant in heavensward to trying to do things more on her own in stormblood to.. accepting it all in shadowbringers#shy/quiet was more in hw while being serious/calm was in stb. raghhh i rmb my notes well in 2021 but i'm so afraid to look at like#the stuff i wrote last year 💀 but. oh my this is embarrassing but i do like how i even just dump my thoughts. it's bittersweetly beautiful#maybe i'm trying to accept everything at once or yk putting too much pressure on myself to improve holistically.#like.. i want to write before i grow older than my fav charas yk? n then just think of lots of stuff too n.#be productive. study. n idk just more more more in general but i could be less harsh on myself. yeah
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icharchivist · 5 years ago
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I know you're hyped about hpm right now hehe so answer whenever you're able! I was just wondering, for Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts, who did you choose to rule Orlais? I haven't decided yet and I'm very torn, so I'm trying to see what all my friends picked lol
LKJDKLFD it’s okay, thanks for the consideration tho
Huuum personally i generally do so Celene and Brialla become a couple again and rule together and i throw Gaspard out of the window.
Ultimately I basically want Brialla to be able to make change for the elvhen folks, which she can do either by manipulating Gaspard in the shadow or being an openly Elvhen Marquise by Brialla’s side.
and imo the second option might have better impact on the long term because 1) it is much more opened about what’s happening, it is clear the elvhen are given more opportunities, 2) Celene is a more stable ruler since she already has years behind her in Orlais while Gaspard would have to prove himself as a ruler which would make change Brialla wants to achieve perhaps more difficult
Gaspard and Celene alone to me are out of question, Gaspard is a warmonger who just wants to bring back expentionist days, and while i trust Brialla in manipulating him out of it, I don’t trust him on the long term and i’m worried that the more “in the shadow” approach with Brialla would make it easy to just swip her away once someone may bring up he’s manipulated. 
Celene alone is... I guess a stable ruler, but bc of the novels i really don’t trust her alone. She cares too much about what the court think and she had partaken in allowing massacre on elves in the alienage in order to keep a public face. And yeah this fucking sucks. But, if reconcilled with Brialla the fact she can publically recognize Brialla bring her to publically tell the very nobles she tried to appease “y’know what finally i’ll give Elven people rights”. She’s by no way an ideal leader but at least there’s a chance of progress there. Since she has a stable following for 10 years and a good track record with the nobility it would be harder to argue against her, and imo, the fact Gaspard’s and Floriane’s coup would have failed would make it harder for nobles to think about defying her again, so with luck it may strengthen Brialla’s position and Celene’s support; And ofcourse the fact she’s much more inclined toward peace than Gaspard is a huge plus.
There is also the “balckmail the three of them into a treuce” option but i think it ultimately would not change much to the country, nor elven rights, it would still give Gaspard legitimacy which i truly wouldn’t recommand, Celene would be free to just keep ignoring the issues which is Bad, and on top of that they would all be in Bad Blood with the inquisition which will reflect in the epilogue. (I know that bringing back Celene and Brialla together at least make the two of them very happy so they’re very grateful toward the Inquisition, i don’t know if a manipulated Gaspard would be as grateful toward the Inquisition, but i’m sure individual leaders would be glad as long as you don’t blackmail/threaten them)
So yeah, personally i bring back Celene and Brialla together. Not the ideal solution since according to the novels they had a fucked up relationship and Celene did horrible things, and it kinda kills me to repairs it, but i think at least politically on the long run this would be the best impact on Orlais.
So yeah, reuniting Brialla and Celene would be my way to go and that’s kinda my reasoning going in *waves hand* if that makes sense
Good luck deciding though :3c Have fun eheh
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