#i'm withholding opinions on it for a while but i think it's the right move

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

"Something on your mind, Lord Siew?"

Adrian Siew jumped, caught off guard by his cousin, Maura. He turned to acknowledge her presence, but quickly turned back when he saw how she was dressed.

"Your Majesty," he replied with a distinct edge to his voice. "I wasn't expecting you to be here. I was anticipating catching up with my cousin, Maura. Do be sure to remind her of that the next time you see her. I'm afraid I have nothing to say to Her Majesty the Queen."

"Mature as always, Adrian."

"The family rules for the cottage prohibit crowns on these grounds," Adrian stated coldly. "It seems that you're the one who's acting immature and inappropriate. Or are you here in your official capacity? Did I miss a session of your court?"

"I have a meeting later on and didn't want to sit to have the crown pinned in place again. Forgive your poor cousin for being practical with her schedule. I promise that I'm merely Maura at the moment. You try wearing this thing while trying to look perfect and regal at all times. It's exhausting."

Maura paused to rub her stomach soothingly, wishing that her future prince or princess would settle down and stop kicking so much. If Adrian wanted to be catty about family rules, he was welcome to swap places with her and be heavily pregnant while juggling the needs of the country and her already large family.

Adrian sighed heavily, rubbing his temple before he spoke.

"What are we doing here, Maura?" he asked quietly. "What has our family become? You and Ulyssa can hardly share a room together and Trent says that you've ignored his invitations to come for supper for months now. Am I supposed to ignore the rumours that you're seducing anyone who looks your way, including your staff? Grandmother would be horrified at what you've become. Your mother would too."

"You can preach at me when you end whatever you and Roman are doing with each other," the queen snapped. "Are you and Evren swingers now, or can he not see the way your eyes linger on Roman when you think no one's watching?"

"Roman and I are co-parenting our children, something you would know nothing about. Do you even know the name of the son you've brought with you? Do you have any idea who the parent of this pregnancy is? I highly doubt that it's Ulyssa's."

Maura’s eyes narrowed into angry slits at these words, but she held her tongue. Adrian was clearly baiting her for whatever reason and Maura refused to play his games.

"Of course I know who the father is," she said firmly. "He's in that picture over there with Duke Goldman. I'm sure you've met."

Adrian looked at the pictures on the wall, but refused to acknowledge the one with Duke Goldman and his ex-boyfriend that still hung on the wall beside the picture of Adrian and Maura when they were children. Ezra Hope was a walking scandal who seemed to curse the extended Siew family. First, he had dated Duke Goldman, then he had moved onto Liam, prince of Crystal Cove, only to end up in Maura’s arms. The man had even tried to make a move on Adrian, right in front of Evren. Ezra was a curse, but Maura seemed to think that she was the one in control simply because she was queen.

How could Adrian reach Maura to show her the danger she was in? Their relationship had been rocky as of late because of their differing opinions on Ezra. The fact that she was also withholding Roman's daughter from him didn't help either.

Looking at the photo in front of him, Adrian had another idea.

"You know, I think I still have a shirt just like that one at home," he said, gesturing to the photo of the two of them as children. "I could teleport home and grab it and we could recreate that picture of us. It might be fun. Do you still enjoy taking pictures like you used to? The walls of Siew Cottage haven't had a new photo added in ages."

To his surprise, Maura didn't immediately snap at him in anger. If anything, she looked amused.

"I probably have a yellow dress upstairs in my room that I could wear. Let's give it a try. For old times sake."

The two cousins regrouped twenty minutes later, dressed in whatever was closest to matching the picture. Maura set the timer on her phone and rushed beside her cousin, feeling more nostalgic than she expected. This was what she used to do, back when she had free time and a mother and grandmother who had once done her job. She didn't have the luxury of photography anymore. Even if she was pissed off at Adrian for his comments on her lifestyle, he had managed to make her smile for a moment, at least.

"It's flawless," Adrian decided. "Your best work."

Maura smiled despite herself. She had always liked Adrian for his positivity and upbeat attitude, no matter how bad the circumstances were. He was probably the only person Maura knew who could spend years locked away in some other dimension and still see the world as inherently good. And yet, he did have tricks of his own to play. Someone gullible like Roman might have missed it, but this new picture had subtly moved the picture of Duke Goldman and Ezra Hope off the wall. Adrian played the part of an idiot, but his mind was still sharp.

"I'm not taking this tiara off, no matter how much you whine," Maura stated, pulling her cousin into a hug. "It really would be difficult to place back on, but I can promise you that I'm definitely not the queen right now. I have a very busy schedule and I'm only here to relax. Plus Prince Adrion could use some one on one time with me as my heir. My own mother often brought me here to bond and discuss the many responsibilities I'd inherit and I'd like to do the same with my heir. Don't you have private moments with Luciana about her inheriting your own title?"

"Private moments? What are those?" Adrian laughed. "Five kids running around the house as well as Saturnia and Abe Jr? Plus Theo when he's in the middle of yet another scandal? I barely get enough private moments to use the washroom by myself, let alone sit down with Luciana. My parents spent countless hours drilling my duty into my head, only to send me off to military school where it was shouted at me all day. I couldn't do that to her. Besides, I was an only child. I have more than enough potential heirs for Luciana to step down if she wished."

"Ah, yes. That's something I wanted to discuss with you. Well, that I've meaning to getting around to discussing with you. Some members of court are suggesting that I send Adrion and at least two of my other children to the military school you attended."

"The heir? That would be breaking with tradition. Military school is for the spares and lowly dukes."

Maura sighed.

"Well, there is some concern," she replied. "We still haven't had justice for my mother's death, so an heir with a military background could be an asset."

"And because people assume that Pleasantview is behind the attack and every other bad thing that's happened to us since then."

"Precisely. While I know that Claudia is innocent, others don't share my convictions. This whole thing is going to end in bloodshed, I just know it. I never wanted to be a queen in wartime, but if this continues, who knows what will happen?"

"Send the kids to Pleasantview then," Adrian said with confidence. "Nothing would show your belief in Claudia's innocence than sending your heir to her schools. That is, if you even send them anywhere. You can always put them in the public schools here. Evren and I are sending Fiolett to public school this year, along with her brothers when they're old enough."

Maura stared at her cousin strangely.

"Your oldest girls are in boarding school, aren't they? Do you not have the money to send the others? I can help with the costs if you need."

Adrian smiled, but shook his head.

"No, we could afford it, especially if Theo graduates by the time the boys are older. I appreciate your offer, but Evren is opposed to the idea of sending the children to any type of boarding school. He had a similar experience to mine in a boarding school and he hates the idea of not having the kids at home every day. The twins were enrolled at Roman's request a long time ago and it would be difficult for them to adjust to a public school in another country, away from all their friends."

"Understandable." Maura paused, unsure if she truly wanted to ask her next question. Roman was a difficult subject to bring up. "Why did you and Roman decide to enroll them in his old school, if you don't mind me asking? He always seemed dead set against boarding schools. Obviously, Theo is a different matter entirely."

"Obviously," Adrian agreed. "Boarding school will keep him safe for whatever his future holds, there's no doubt of that. Roman had already enrolled the twins in a kindergarten class abroad when I returned to life and it didn't make sense to take them out of it. Luciana needs the skills to one day take my place and Rien...Rien, we hope will find a community that shares her gifts in the larger world. If she makes even a single friend, who isn't a spirit, it would all be worth it."

Outside, Etienne and Adrion played on the playground, shrieking loudly with delight. Twenty years ago, that used to be Adrian and Maura on that playground, running away from their parents, escaping boring lectures on duty.

"Did you ever think that we'd be here, watching our kids play and reminiscing?" Maura asked. "I always thought that I'd have a few more years before having kids or that I'd be one of those crown princesses who spent most of their lives waiting for the crown. When we eventually do find my mother's murderer, I'm going to ensure that their life becomes just as unrecognizable as my own."

"You have a good life," Adrian assured his cousin. "Millions of people would trade for your life in an instant. You have a wife who loves you despite being flawed herself and several beautiful children who love you too. You rule over a peaceful island and have been guaranteed safety from Claudia coming to claim it as her own. You are incredibly fortunate."

"I have my mother's life. Even before she became queen, she'd been living just like this, just preparing for the throne instead of ruling from it like me. She had to educate her spare heirs and keep up a good public persona and spend every moment of her life thinking of the crown. I wanted to travel more before I became queen. I wanted to take pictures of everything and read a book beside Ulyssa on foreign beaches where the press wouldn't care about us. I wanted just a few years to myself before I had to give everything to the crown."

"You look a lot like your father," Maura pointed out, staring at a photo of her mother sitting with his father. "You're like a clone of him. None of my children look like just like me or just like their mother. They're all blends of Ulyssa and I."

"I don't have a little clone of me either," Adrian reassured his cousin. "Trust me, I got sick of constantly hearing how I looked like my father. It doesn't give you the space to be yourself. You are only ever the spitting image of a man you barely see because of his duties. Everard looks very close to Evren, and Theo very close to Roman, but my father and I were the same right down to the freckles on our noses. Evren and Roman would never try to impose their own interests on their children like my father did."

"Good luck telling Theo to do anything," Maura laughed. "That boy is wild."

"You still keep in contact with Theo?" Adrian was surprised to hear his cousin mention his stepson after all that Theo's father had done to her.

"Of course! Well, in a way. Though most of my information comes from security reports, I watch over him for Ulyssa's sake. She really does miss him in her life, but he won't speak to her. If something goes wrong and he's in danger again, I know that she would want to know. Besides, my security team assumes that he's being groomed to work for Claudia. I can't ignore him even if I wanted to. Is he still with that Darktide boy?"

"They're still planning their wedding when they're nineteen as far as I've heard," Adrian laughed, purposely omitting the events of the past few months. "It's been a little bumpy, but they're still obsessed with each other. You know teenagers. If only we could be that young again."

"Speak for yourself, I had tons of relationships by the age of fourteen. I was wild back then."

"If I remember correctly, you were deeply in love and obsession with Ben Siew, were you not?" Adrian teased. "You were going to get married despite your mother's objections and live happily together until you became queen and took over the castle."

Maura blushed at the reminder of her past. She had been obsessed with one particular boy, despite also having casual flings. It was because of this obsession that she'd almost missed Ulyssa as a potential queen consort. She'd almost missed a relationship that had become so deeply a part of her. Ben could never be the consort Ulyssa was, despite her betrayal with Roman.

"Being an adult sucks," Maura sighed. "I can't believe I'm wishing to go back to school, but so much was easier back then. Ulyssa and I didn't have half the problems we do now and could do whatever we wanted."

"As much as your grandmother approved of," Adrian pointed out. "It wasn't really much better than things are now, and you had to listen to the queen. Now you're the queen and you can do whatever you want."

"True."

"Maybe there's something you could do to change your life. Like, go to marriage counseling? Not having revenge babies? That's a pretty good start, I think."

Maura sighed again, far more deeply this time. Adrian refused to let their conversation remain pleasant. Clearly, he had a lot of uncomfortable things to say to her.

"Adrian, look. I know you're just trying to help, but my life isn't any of your business," she said calmly. "It's over between me and Ezra anyway. He was getting too clingy and weird about our relationship. The duties and boundaries of a queen were beyond his understanding. I'm not going to divorce Ulyssa. That was never an option. Ulyssa is going to be the mother of this child. His role can easily be filled by someone else."

"Like Ulyssa?"

"For god's sake, Adrian! I'm not getting divorced, how much more do you want from me?"

Adrian looked at his cousin sadly.

"I just want you to be happy," he said quietly. "You don't look like you're very happy, and I want the best for you, Maura. Why can't you divorce? You have heirs now. Roman and I were going to divorce once the twins were born, there's no shame in admitting that a match wasn't as perfect as you thought. You and Ulyssa were young when you started dating. The same things I tell Theo also apply to you. Be happy, Maura. Life is short and darkness can appear out of nowhere and take your life from you. If I had remained dead all those years ago, what would the summary of my life have been? A marriage that was crashing down around me, the disapproval of my parents and a college degree that didn't give me any clarity about my future? I was a mess. It took both Evren and I crying on each other's shoulder just to feel alive again. It took a while to navigate my relationship with Roman and Abe. Change doesn't happen all at once, Maura. If you need to divorce Ulyssa, I'll support whatever you decide in court. I know you would have Duke Goldman's support as well, along with many others. You could die tomorrow and what would you be leaving behind? A string of lovers, an illegitimate child, and an unhappy wife."

Maura had no reply. She had no defense for her actions or why she was so miserable. Adrian was right about most of his little rant. She could make choices to change her life. She was the queen; supposedly, she could do whatever she wanted.

"I'm not getting a divorce," she declared. "My father died and my mother remarried, as you know, and it was painful for me. A child deserves to have just one set of parents. To not have to divide their loyalty between households. I won't do that to my children. They may never see their mother again if Ulyssa can't be approved by security to have visitation with them. What if she goes running back to Roman as soon as we're divorced? He has so many kids that would be devastated if he and Abe broke up."

"Ah, now you're getting somewhere. You can't divorce because your mother moved on and you felt excluded from her family and you can't let go of Ulyssa because you're afraid that she's going to abandon you if you give her a choice."

Maura’s face flushed a deep red at this, and she turned away from her cousin's compassionate expression. She didn't need his pity or his armchair psychological analysis. She was the queen, and she answered to no one. Besides, she didn't have time to waste talking about the feelings Adrian guessed she had. It had been a mistake to come here. Adrion could just as easily spend time with her at home, away from nosy cousins and their ideas about her marriage.

"I have to go," she announced, silencing Adrian's protests with a raised hand. "It was nice catching up with you, Adrian. I hope we run into each other soon."

In the blink of an eye, Maura disappeared into the yard to collect her son, leaving Adrian standing baffled.

[sunshineacd]

wip wednesday

tagged by @rmd-writes thank you so much, lovely!! <3

this is a new one that I've been thinking about (because why focus on the ones we have when we can start another askshfjk)

"Someone is renting the cursed apartment?" Paul asks as he slips through the door and into Carlos' apartment. He turns to glance out into the hallway and closes the door at an alarmingly slow pace.

Carlos rolls his eyes at his antics. "Would you stop it? It's not cursed."

Paul finally latches the door and turns to glance at him, eyebrow raised. "Oh, sure, an apartment that has had over three tenants in the last year. Not cursed at all."

"People don't stick around," Carlos reasons, shrugging a shoulder. "It's not the apartment's fault."

"Sure, not at all." Paul says sarcastically, and he crosses the small space to sit on one of the bar stools at Carlos' Island. "So, have you met them?"

"His name is TK. He just moved here from New York." Carlos relays the information that he was told earlier that morning during his first meeting with TK. "That's all I know."

Paul nods along. "Well, hopefully, he's quieter than the last guy that was in there. How many noise complaints did that dude rack up by the time he left?"

Carlos would never forget that guy. He had lost so much sleep over the loud music he played while he partied the night away with his friends.

"Far too many to count at this point."

Paul chuckles, shaking his head, and he grabs one of the chips from the bowl Carlos had put out. There's a knock at the door, and Carlos lays the knife he's using onto the counter before he crosses to answer it.

TK stands on the other side, and Carlos has to try to keep his composure once again at the sight of him. He also has to withhold slamming the door in TK's face so he can panic for a few seconds before calmly opening it again.

"I'm so sorry to bother you," TK says, and the fact that it's a sincere apology baffles Carlos. He thinks that TK could never be a bother. "Did you happen to know somewhere good to eat? I tried searching it, but all the reviews are hit or miss. So, I thought maybe getting a local opinion would be better."

Every thought escapes Carlos at that very moment. Every place he's ever eaten in all of Austin disappears, and he forgets everything.

"I — uh — you —" Carlos stutters, trying to figure out how to get words to come out of his mouth, but it doesn't work. Carlos laughs nervously, trying to calm himself down. TK just keeps a kind smile, even though he's probably thinking Carlos sounds and looks absolutely crazy. "What —"

"Oh, good lord." He hears Paul mumble as he appears next to him. "Hey, TK, right? I'm Paul, Carlos' best friend. Welcome to the building and to Austin."

TK's eyes move from Carlos to Paul, and Carlos has to literally blow out a breath. "It's nice to meet you, Paul, and thank you."

"Carlos here is having some friends over later, and we play Catan. Carlos makes some great food, probably some of the best in Austin. So, if you want to stop by later, then you are more than welcome to. It'll help you to get to know some people around here."

TK's smile grows, and his gaze finds Carlos again. The panic begins to rise again. Honestly, he had no idea what the hell was wrong with him. He's usually pretty cool under pressure, but TK is proving to make that difficult for him.

"Is that okay with you?" TK asks.

Carlos feels the jolt as Paul elbows him gently in the ribs, and he tries his best not to react. "Yes, it is. Definitely. I wouldn't mind at all. I — I am going to stop talking."

TK chuckles, his nose scrunching adorably, and the sound nearly turns Carlos to a puddle.

"Alright, deal. I'll see you guys later, thank you."

When Carlos finally shuts the door and lets out a deep breath, he turns to glare at Paul.

"Oh no, don't give me that look, I had to save you from yourself. You looked like you were going to spontaneously combust."

"I was doing just fine." Carlos argues as he picks back up his knife. Paul snorts and mumbles what Carlos knows is a sarcastic comment. But, his mind is far too occupied with the memory of TK's smile to make any attempt at a retort.

I'm getting to this a bit late so I'm not sure who has been tagged but I'll tag @reyescarlos @marjansmarwani and @welcometololaland and anyone else who would like to <3

[mixelation]

I agree with most of these points, but I want to give a sort of "yes, and..." addition, which is that I do think there are some people who write entirely for engagement and that's okay. When I first started writing fic, my motivation was that I wanted to see if other people liked my ideas. I obviously liked my own ideas, but to me, the point of moving them from my head onto paper was so I could share them with others. (Now I largely use writing as a way to organize and explore my ideas, and getting compliments is more like a fun bonus.) I am not inside the heads of random people online, but I have seen people asking questions about writing fic as if what they seek is readers to tell them that they like their fic, rather than writing a story they personally care about. So I would guess that engagement is the primary motivator for these people.

I wanted to emphasize that I do think this is some people's primary motivator, because then the part where you would just give up and delete your fics because you weren't getting comments makes more sense. I do not think that writing and posting fic without learning to extract some personal satisfaction from it is sustainable, but at the same time, I'm not going to stand on a soap box and tell people what they are or are not allowed to try and get out of their own writing practices. If you literally just want the compliments, then by all means, you do you. My personal advice would be not to hitch your self esteem or your appreciation for your own art to getting said compliments, but also that's just my opinion as someone who's been writing for a while. I think we do need to make room in our community for people who literally just want nice comments, because they're here and they're also on their own journeys with their writing. Maybe they will peter out and quit or maybe they will learn to engage with their own art in a new way, but they have every right to be posting fic and talking about it. This approach to writing fic is also not new; it used to be common to withhold new chapters unless X number of comments was achieved. I do personally find it a bit immature, but also lots of people start off like this, and that's fine.

All that being said, I do STRONGLY dislike the discourse about "fic economy" and how reading but not commenting is hurting fandom and blah blah blah. It's fine to feel disappointed that you are not getting the comments you want, and it's fine to articulate your disappointment, but also no one owes you anything just because you posted something. No one is entitled to comments on their fic.*

*disclaimer because every time i post about this someone jumps on me: i do think engagement/a comment is "owed" in it is the POLITE thing to do if you have in some way requested the fic. for example, you sign up for a gift exchange or you intentionally signed your name to a prompt. but the act of clicking on a fic and then reading it is not some sort of economic exchange where now you simply must leave a comment as payment?

There's a genre of post that I see pretty frequently, which can overall be summed up as, "Modern fandom has a culture problem where fanfic authors are treated as content producers instead of community members and their fanfic is treated as a commodity to be consumed instead of a high-effort labor of love that deserves attention and compliments given directly to the author". I agree with 3/4ths of that. I find the part I disagree with very interesting, the same way I find a lot of writeblr interesting, because it's a perspective that I had to work very hard to actually understand.

Because the posts have such a warped view of what writing is and why we post our writing! They say that fanfic fights against the commodified internet we live in, but all they're doing is changing the currency of payment in this attention economy. Another way you can summarize about 70% of these posts is, "My payment for writing and posting my fanfiction is compliments, and if you do not give me those compliments you are not paying. If you give those compliments behind my back, or talk about them privately without giving them to me as well, then you are stealing from me." I don't want to put it like that, but a lot of these posts use words like 'deprive', as if the reader who enjoys the fic without commenting is withholding something from them that they deserve. They use the word engagement, and they do talk about how part of that engagement is just the joy of talking about AUs and ships with other people, but when people say that comments are their motivation to keep writing, what they mean is that validation is their motivation to keep writing. Which is compliments.

I understand that, because I understand that fanfic writers are not immune to the attention economy. But I don't understand how almost every one of these posts talk about how this lack of attention makes them stop writing - that this act of theft is killing their desire to write. I could understand this if they meant 'desire to POST fic' (I don't post fic I think zero people would read.), but they talk about how lack of payment stops them from writing at all.

IMHO, that is what creates a commodity from fic. People want to treat fic as art, but an artist makes art for themself. Art is made because we want to hold parts of skills and ourselves in our hands. If you won't make art if you get no payment, then you have devalued the art completely.

We think of AO3 as this unique site that's born entirely from passion and is filled with fics written for love of the game. But guilt-tripping posts that shame people for not commenting on a fic they enjoy, and that describe how there's no point in writing fic if it's not getting attention, are directly contributing towards the culture of treating fic like a commodity.

I also really want a fandom culture where the relationship between artist and reader is reciprocal, where it feels like a community, and where I get to talk about my fanfic with people. My favorite part of posting fanfic is rambling about it on my blog, because I can talk about my art all day and I love it when people stop and listen. But I love that because I love my own art. If you love your own art, then it'll always have value.

Also Google your username, just trust me, that's how you find The Secret Discussions. Someone made a TikTok fansong of me once. WHAT?

[seafleece]

Can I ask where the news about the sensitivity consultant is? I think I missed it, but it sounds promising in its way

you can find it on their twitter, if you scroll for a bit, or here. they talk about sensitivity consultants at the bottom

[radiant-reid]

I feel like Spencer would be a little bit clueless in the kitchen since he’s always so busy with cases that he doesn’t really get much opportunity to cook, could you please write sumthin about him struggling to make pancakes with his kid while his wife just sits there watching, sipping her coffee and trying not to laugh because he insisted they can handle the pancakes on their own ??

"Okay, now we just need flour." Spencer narrates, his finger resting against the page under the line he was reading. "Can you get it for me, munchkin?"

Beatrice climbs off the stool she was standing on to see what Spencer was doing, and walks over to the scullery, doing what he asked.

You're on the other side of the kitchen island, sitting on the comfortable bar stool as they cook, something Spencer insisted on doing from scratch. It's the perfect hour of the morning when the sun shines in the window, illuminating the kitchen and the features of the two people you love the most.

Mornings like this are usual, but you don't value them any less.

Once she brings it back to him, he pours too little- in your expert opinion- into the bowl and stirs it in. You withhold a judgemental comment, taking another sip of your coffee. He's a terrible cook, but an amazing barista.

As expected, the mix is far too liquidy, and not likely to produce the fluffy pancakes you always make.

Breakfast or no breakfast, it's nice just to watch both of them, see the similarities in their features and mannerisms.

"You don't have much of a poker face, you know?" He adressess you. He's barely able to frown seriously at you for a second before breaking into a smile. He abandons the mix he's just put in the pan and moves to stand on the other side of the bench and crains his neck down so he's level with you. "What are you thinking about, Mrs. Reid?"

"Nothing." You mumble, smirking at him.

He turns his head, knowing you're lying. "Something." You shake your head, holding your lips together. "I'm an amazing cook, you know. I cooked you breakfast that one time."

Oh, yeah? Five years ago?" You tease. "And I'm not telling you."

"I'll come around there right now, and tickle you until you tell me." He threatens. You don't say anything, just let out a knowing giggle. "Alright, come on, Bea." He picks her up, holding her to his hip until he reaches you and pushes her to you.

She's always ready to make mischief, especially with Spencer. With a smirk that mirrored his, she starts to tickle you, forcing you back as you catch her. Spencer attacks you with tickles, too, and kisses.

"Okay, okay, you win." You squeal before conceding. "I'll tell you." You keep Bea in a hug while Spencer waits for an answer. "Your pancakes are burning."

It takes him a moment to snap out of the loving looks he was giving his favorite girls. "What?" He asks, turning his head to see the black smoke that arrived surprisingly quickly. "Shit." He races back over to avoid the house burning down.

"Hey, language." You scold, shaking your head at your baby, who would no doubt repeat the word.

"Daddy really can't cook, can he?" She asks you skeptically.

You grin, looking up at Spencer before answering her. "No, he cannot."

[funkymbtifiction]

May I vent for a while?

I read the post about enneagram 6 and the struggle with projection and I haven't related to a post that much for a long time.

I recall how many times I let my insecurities, anxiety, negative thinking, self-hatred, fear of rejection and loneliness take control of my head and dictate my actions. I usually expect for the worst to happen, expect being either rejected or ignored (things I can't stand) therefore I get defensive over insignificant things, get offended, insult before being insulted, and have passive-agressive reactions in general. As a result, I have lost people in my life by being too much. And my 7 wing won't help either. I cope with the anxiety of knowing I do wrong by laugh it off, distracting myself, trying to avoid anything that reminds me of the situation... Though I always come back to think about it non-stop.

I have messed it up so many times that I don't trust myself to stop doing so. Is this common for 6s? Have you been through this? How did you get over it?

Sure, vent away! Any time! This is a safe space for 6s (but also a place where I'm going to give it to you straight and ask you to grow ;).

The fact that you admit these things about yourself is valuable, and crucial to playing a role in how you are going to get healthier moving forward. Realizing all the self-destructive things you have done in the past, and dealing with the pain/humiliation of that realization, is a major step in being a healthier 6 going forward, because now you know what to look out for as you decide whether to give in to your reactivity or to do something to stop it.

There comes a time in every 6’s life when the truth of being a 6 sinks into them, and they can look back and see all the ways they screwed up their life by shifting into “auto-pilot” and allowing 6ness to dictate their behavior. Now you have a choice going forward—to look at what you are doing, and to ask yourself valuable questions along the way (am I allowing this to happen? am I doing this? am I projecting my insecurities onto this person? am I expecting the worst? do I have any proof for this suspicion? am I being paranoid? am I apologizing too soon, putting up walls, withholding information from people while asking them probing questions, or running away from the problem?) .

Yes, I have been through this. And yes, I am working to stop being “auto-6” and be a purposeful 6. By that, I mean instead of pointlessly analyzing what I am doing, I am asking myself hard questions and learning to calm down, take a step back, etc. I am focusing more on not wasting my mental faculties on analyzing stupid crap, and instead, am thinking about how to solve problems more proactively. When I get anxious, instead of spiraling into second-guessing, I am making a deliberate choice to go “Okay, this is anxiety. Anxiety is irrational. Breathe through it and let it pass.” I am reminding myself, through self talk, that someone holding a difference of opinion or conclusion than me does not necessarily mean I am wrong and they are right; it just means we see things differently. It also does not mean I have to reconsider my views or conclusions. I can ignore what they have to say and go about my day (it gets easier with practice).

Our journey is going to be different, because you’re a counter-phobic (insult before you get insulted!), so you are going to have to hold yourself back from overt reactive behaviors (anger, defensiveness, ‘sticking’ it to people first, answer criticism with accusations, etc) by talking yourself through it, but all 6s can become self-controlled and learn to diminish their reactions by learning to be more present with themselves, to observe what they are doing, and think about it carefully rather than going along with it. It’s amazing how quickly you can improve by realizing, “This is a coping mechanism, this fear isn’t real!” and shutting down certain behaviors. (As an example, I used to think if my friends didn’t answer me right away, or went quiet, they were mad at me and I had done something wrong; I would comb back over e-mails and text messages, wondering what I said that I needed to apologize for, and then preemptively reach out to them, or have a consolatory tone. Now I just tell myself to stop being paranoid and I wait them out and 99.9% of the time, nothing is wrong between us. Thank God I’ve moved past that phase of my life...)

The kicker now is how much I notice that I am still reacting against people, even if I choose not to respond to them. ("This person said this about me, I wonder if telling them this would show them they are wrong..." I can't let it go. I have to chew that bone, and every time I catch myself thinking about it, as if I have to defend myself or change their mind, I just sigh because... that is so automatic 6. Ugh.It is a total waste of my mental energy, yet it's hard to stop doing it.)

I think one of the hardest things as you mature as a 6 (or any other number) is the deep cringe you feel looking back on your earlier behaviors as an unhealthier version of yourself. Wow, I was so… (obnoxious, needy, clingy, possessive, insecure, easily intimidated, reactive, fearful, etc)… but… I am not “as” much anymore. Focus on the progress you make, and let the cringe of your past be a sign of how far you have come. In a year, I want you able to look back on this message and think, “... look at all my progress since then!”

So, start analyzing what you are doing, while you are doing it, and making your reactions a conscious choice rather than an automatic response. It won’t work all the time (you’re still going to get upset and hurt), but the more you work to control it, the easier it is to “calm down” when you get fired up and learn not to burn your bridges.

[qqueenofhades]

Re: the post you reblogged about Bush. I'm 21 and tbh feel like I can only vote for Bernie, can you explain if/why I shouldn't? Thanks and sorry if this is dumb or anything.

Oh boy. Okay, I’ll do my best here. Note that a) this will get long, and b) I’m old, Tired, and I‘m pretty sure my brain tried to kill me last night. Since by nature I am sure I will say something Controversial ™, if anyone reads this and feels a deep urge to inform me that I am Wrong, just… mark it down as me being Wrong and move on with your life. But also, really, you should read this and hopefully think about it. Because while I’m glad you asked this question, it feels like there’s a lot in your cohort who won’t, and that worries me. A lot.

First, not to sound utterly old-woman-in-a-rocking-chair ancient, people who came of age/are only old enough to have Obama be the first president that they really remember have no idea how good they had it. The world was falling the fuck apart in 2008 (not coincidentally, after 8 years of Bush). We came within a flicker of the permanent collapse of the global economy. The War on Terror was in full roar, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were at their height, we had Dick Cheney as the cartoon supervillain before we had any of Trump’s cohort, and this was before Chelsea Manning or Edward Snowden had exposed the extent of NSA/CIA intelligence-gathering/American excesses or there was any kind of public debate around the fact that we were all surveilled all the time. And the fact that a brown guy named Barack Hussein Obama was elected in this climate seems, and still seems tbh, kind of amazing. And Obama was certainly not a Perfect President ™. He had to scale back a lot of planned initiatives, he is notorious for expanding the drone strike/extrajudicial assassination program, he still subscribed to the overall principles of neoliberalism and American exceptionalism, etc etc. There is valid criticism to be made as to how the hopey-changey optimistic rhetoric stacked up against the hard realities of political office. And yet…. at this point, given what we’re seeing from the White House on a daily basis, the depth of the parallel universe/double standards is absurd.

Because here’s the thing. Obama, his entire family, and his entire administration had to be personally/ethically flawless the whole time (and they managed that – not one scandal or arrest in eight years, against the legions of Trumpistas now being convicted) because of the absolute frothing depths of Republican hatred, racial conspiracy theories, and obstruction against him. (Remember Merrick Garland and how Mitch McConnell got away with that, and now we have Gorsuch and Kavanaugh on the Supreme Court? Because I remember that). If Obama had pulled one-tenth of the shit, one-twentieth of the shit that the Trump administration does every day, he would be gone. It also meant that people who only remember Obama think he was typical for an American president, and he wasn’t. Since about… Jimmy Carter, and definitely since Ronald Reagan, the American people have gone for the Trump model a lot more than the Obama model. Whatever your opinion on his politics or character, Obama was a constitutional law professor, a community activist, a neighborhood organizer and brilliant Ivy League intellectual who used to randomly lie awake at night thinking about income inequality. Americans don’t value intellectualism in their politicians; they just don’t. They don’t like thinking that “the elites” are smarter than them. They like the folksy populist who seems fun to have a beer with, and Reagan/Bush Senior/Clinton/Bush Junior sold this persona as hard as they possibly could. As noted in said post, Bush Junior (or Shrub as the late, great Molly Ivins memorably dubbed him) was Trump Lite but from a long-established political family who could operate like an outwardly civilized human.

The point is: when you think Obama was relatively normal (which, again, he wasn’t, for any number of reasons) and not the outlier in a much larger pattern of catastrophic damage that has been accelerated since, again, the 1980s (oh Ronnie Raygun, how you lastingly fucked us!), you miss the overall context in which this, and which Trump, happened. Like most left-wingers, I don’t agree with Obama’s recent and baffling decision to insert himself into the 2020 race and warn the Democratic candidates against being too progressive or whatever he was on about. I think he was giving into the same fear that appears to be motivating the remaining chunk of Joe Biden’s support: that middle/working-class white America won’t go for anything too wild or that might sniff of Socialism, and that Uncle Joe, recalled fondly as said folksy populist and the internet’s favorite meme grandfather from his time as VP, could pick up the votes that went to Trump last time. And that by nature, no one else can.

The underlying belief is that these white voters just can’t support anything too “un-American,” and that by pushing too hard left, Democratic candidates risk handing Trump a second term. Again: I don’t agree and I think he was mistaken in saying it. But I also can’t say that Obama of all people doesn’t know exactly the strength of the political machine operating against the Democratic Party and the progressive agenda as a whole, because he ran headfirst into it for eight years. The fact that he managed to pass any of his legislative agenda, usually before the Tea Party became a thing in 2010, is because Democrats controlled the House and Senate for the first two years of his first term. He was not perfect, but it was clear that he really did care (just look up the pictures of him with kids). He installed smart, efficient, and scandal-free people to do jobs they were qualified for. He gave us Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor to join RBG on the Supreme Court. All of this seems… like a dream.

That said: here we are in a place where Biden, Bernie Sanders, and Elizabeth Warren are the front-runners for the Democratic nomination (and apparently Pete Buttigieg is getting some airplay as a dark horse candidate, which… whatever). The appeal of Biden is discussed above, and he sure as hell is not my favored candidate (frankly, I wish he’d just quit). But Sanders and Warren are 85% - 95% similar in their policy platforms. The fact that Michael “50 Billion Dollar Fortune” Bloomberg started rattling his chains about running for president is because either a Sanders or Warren presidency terrifies the outrageously exploitative billionaire capitalist oligarchy that runs this country and has been allowed to proceed essentially however the fuck they like since… you guessed it, the 1980s, the era of voodoo economics, deregulation, and the free market above all. Warren just happens to be ten years younger than Sanders and female, and Sanders’ age is not insignificant. He’s 80 years old and just had a heart attack, and there’s still a year to go to the election. It’s also more than a little eye-rolling to describe him as the only progressive candidate in the race, when he’s an old white man (however much we like and approve of his policy positions). And here’s the thing, which I think is a big part of the reason why this polarized ideological purity internet leftist culture mistrusts Warren:

She may have changed her mind on things in the past.

Scary, right? I sound like I’m being facetious, but I’m not. An argument I had to read with my own two eyes on this godforsaken hellsite was that since Warren became a Democrat around the time Clinton signed Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, she sekritly hated gay people and might still be a corporate sellout, so on and etcetera. (And don’t even get me STARTED on the fact that DADT, coming a few years after the height of the AIDS crisis which was considered God’s Judgment of the Icky Gays, was the best Clinton could realistically hope to achieve, but this smacks of White Gay Syndrome anyway and that is a whole other kettle of fish.) Bernie has always demonstrably been a democratic socialist, and: good for him. I’m serious. But because there’s the chance that Warren might not have thought exactly as she does now at any point in her life, the hysterical and paranoid left-wing elements don’t trust that she might not still secretly do so. (Zomgz!) It’s the same element that’s feeding cancel culture and “wokeness.” Nobody can be allowed to have shifted or grown in their opinions or, like a functional, thoughtful, non-insane adult, changed their beliefs when presented with compelling evidence to the contrary. To the ideological hordes, any hint of uncertainty or past failure to completely toe the line is tantamount to heresy. Any evidence of any other belief except The Correct One means that this person is functionally as bad as Trump. And frankly, it’s only the Sanders supporters who, just as in 2016, are threatening to withhold their vote in the general election if their preferred candidate doesn’t win the primary, and indeed seem weirdly proud about it.

OK, boomer Bernie or Buster.

Here’s the thing, the thing, the thing: there is never going to be an American president free of the deeply toxic elements of American ideology. There just won’t be. This country has been built how it has for 250 years, and it’s not gonna change. You are never going to have, at least not in the current system, some dream candidate who gets up there and parrots the left-wing talking points and attacks American imperialism, exceptionalism, ravaging global capitalism, military and oil addiction, etc. They want to be elected as leader of a country that has deeply internalized and taken these things to heart for its entire existence, and most of them believe it to some degree themselves. So this groupthink white liberal mentality where the only acceptable candidate is this Perfect Non-Problematic robot who has only ever had one belief their entire lives and has never ever wavered in their devotion to doctrine has really gotten bad. The Democratic Party would be considered… maybe center/mild left in most other developed countries. It’s not even really left-wing by general standards, and Sanders and Warren are the only two candidates for the nomination who are even willing to go there and explicitly put out policy proposals that challenge the systematic structure of power, oppression, and exploitation of the late-stage capitalist 21st century. Warren has the billionaires fussed, and instead of backing down, she’s doubling down. That’s part of why they’re so scared of her. (And also misogyny, because the world is depressing like that.) She is going head-on after picking a fight with some of the worst people on the planet, who are actively killing the rest of us, and I don’t know about you, but I like that.

Of course: none of this will mean squat if she (or the eventual Democratic winner, who I will vote for regardless of who it is, but as you can probably tell, she’s my ride or die) don’t a) win the White House and then do as they promised on the campaign trail, and b) don’t have a Democratic House and Senate willing to have a backbone and pass the laws. Even Nancy Pelosi, much as she’s otherwise a badass, held off on opening a formal impeachment inquiry into Trump for months out of fear it would benefit him, until the Ukraine thing fell into everyone’s laps. The Democrats are really horrible at sticking together and voting the party line the way Republicans do consistently, because Democrats are big-tent people who like to think of themselves as accepting and tolerant of other views and unwilling to force their members’ hands. The Republicans have no such qualms (and indeed, judging by their enabling of Trump, have no qualms at all). 

The modern American Republican party has become a vehicle for no-holds-barred power for rich white men at the expense of absolutely everything and everyone else, and if your rationale is that you can’t vote for the person opposing Donald Goddamn Trump is that you’re just not vibing with them on the language of that one policy proposal… well, I’m glad that you, White Middle Class Liberal, feel relatively safe that the consequences of that decision won’t affect you personally. Even if we’re due to be out of the Paris Climate Accords one day after the 2020 election, and the issue of climate change now has the most visibility it’s ever had after years of big-business, Republican-led efforts to deny and discredit the science, hey, Secret Corporate Shill, am I right? Can’t trust ‘er. Let’s go have a craft beer.

As has been said before: vote as far left as you want in the primary. Vote your ideology, vote whatever candidate you want, because the only way to make actual, real-world change is to do that. The huge, embedded, all-consuming and horrible system in which we operate is not just going to suddenly be run by fairy dust and happy thoughts overnight. Select candidates that reflect your values exactly, be as picky and ideologically militant as you want. That’s the time to do that! Then when it comes to the general election:

America is a two-party system. It sucks, but that’s the case. Third-party votes, or refraining from voting because “it doesn’t matter” are functionally useless at best and actively harmful at worst.

Either the Democratic candidate or Donald Trump will win the 2020 election.

There is absolutely no length that the Republican/GOP machine, and its malevolent allies elsewhere, will not go to in order to secure a Trump victory. None.

Any talk whatsoever about “progressive values” or any kind of liberal activism, coupled with a course of action that increases the possibility of a Trump victory, is hypocritical at best and actively malicious at worst.

This is why I found the Democratic response to Obama’s “don’t go too wild” comments interesting. Bernie doubled down on the fact that his plans have widespread public support, and he’s right. (Frankly, the fact that Sanders and Warren are polling at the top, and the fact that they’re politicians and would not be crafting these campaign messages if they didn’t know that they were being positively received, says plenty on its own). Warren cleverly highlighted and praised Obama’s accomplishments in office (i.e. the Affordable Care Act) and didn’t say squat about whether she agreed or disagreed with him, then went right back to campaigning about why billionaires suck. And some guy named Julian Castro basically blew Obama off and claimed that “any Democrat” could beat Trump in 2020, just by nature of existing and being non-insane.

This is very dangerous! Do not be Julian Castro!

As I said in my tags on the Bush post: everyone assumed that sensible people would vote for Kerry in 2004. Guess what happened? Yeah, he got Swift Boated. The race between Obama and McCain in 2008, even after those said nightmare years of Bush, was very close until the global crash broke it open in Obama’s favor, and Sarah Palin was an actual disqualifier for a politician being brazenly incompetent and unprepared. (Then again, she was a woman from a remote backwater state, not a billionaire businessman.) In 2012, we thought Corporate MormonBot Mitt Fuggin’ Romney was somehow the worst and most dangerous candidate the Republicans could offer. In 2016, up until Election Day itself, everyone assumed that HRC was a badly flawed candidate but would win anyway. And… we saw how that worked out. Complacency is literally deadly.

I was born when Reagan was still president. I’m just old enough to remember the efforts to impeach Clinton over forcing an intern to give him a BJ in the Oval Office (This led by the same Republicans making Donald Trump into a darling of the evangelical Christian right wing.) I’m definitely old enough to remember 9/11 and how America lost its mind after that, and I remember the Bush years. And, obviously, the contrast with Obama, the swing back toward Trump, and everything that has happened since. We can’t afford to do this again. We’re hanging by a thread as it is, and not just America, but the entire planet.

So yes. By all means, vote for Sanders in the primary. Then when November 3, 2020 rolls around, if you care about literally any of this at all, hold your nose if necessary and vote straight-ticket Democrat, from the president, to the House and Senate, to the state and local offices. I cannot put it more strongly than that.

[chaos-is-beautifvl]

The Better Shepherd

a/n: it takes a while to get to the duncan part, but i just wanted to add a little bit of a background story. hope you guys like it

summary: in which one shepherd is better than the others

pairing: duncan shepherd x (implied) fem!reader

warnings: trash talking Bill Shepherd, Duncan trying to hit on people at the bar, alcohol use, insinuations of smut, pre/post-smut(?)

word count: 2.3K

Entering the building, the bustling of everyone moving about filled your ears. People moved left and right, up and down, along the ceiling. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but for all you knew, they were. Phones were ringing one after another - it was chaotic really, but nothing you weren't used to, and nothing new for the person you were about to meet.

Upon getting closer to the door, someone stepped in front of you. "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you can't go in there." You sighed, withholding the urge to roll your eyes before looking up at the man in front of you. With a crisp, black suit on and hair slicked back, the man was much like all the other people in this building. Besides the women, although they did dress professionally as well.

"He knows I'm here." You tried to move past him, but he sidestepped you, blocking your path again. You let out a sigh, crossing your arms over your chest, "Look, sir. I understand you're just doing your job, but I can assure you-"

He cut you off, and you bit the inside of your cheek, trying to keep your cool. "Ma'am, as I said before, I cannot let you enter-"

He, too, was cut off, but not by you. "Micheem, are you holding up my guest?" The man, who you assumed was Micheem, glanced back and bowed his head, "I apologize, sir. I didn't realize you were expecting her."

"It's fine," you said as the man turned back to you. You didn't bother trying to hold your growing smirk, "Next time, you know. I don't need permission from you or anyone else in this building."

He nodded and stepped to the side, allowing you to move forward. You linked your arm with the man you were meeting with, "Frank."

He smiled at you before gesturing to the office door, "Y/N. Shall we go in?" You nodded curtly as the two of you walked into his office. Once he shut the door behind you, you turned to Frank, acknowledging him with a proper greeting.

"I've missed you, old man," you said, pulling him in for a hug. He laughed heartily, "I can't say the same goes for you." You scoffed, holding a hand to your chest in feign offense, "And here, I thought you actually cared about me. But wait, I forgot Francis J. Underwood doesn't care about anyone but himself."

He cut his eyes at you before sitting down on the couch. You sat down across from him and slipped your heels off, a relieved sigh leaving your mouth as you got comfortable.

"What can I do for you?" Frank asked, watching you in amusement. It never failed to crack him up at how carefree you were, and no, it wasn't because of your age. It was because you weren't concerned with following the norm but always played by the rules. Well, sometimes.

"So, as you know, I've been working on my project for about 18 months now, and I'm ready to put it into action." You massaged your feet as you spoke, awaiting Frank's response.

Frank Underwood was an interesting man. No one ever knew what he was thinking or feeling, and if they did, they were wrong. Few people understood him, and you were a part of those few.

"Well," he said, leaning back in his chair, his thick Southern accent on display, "I think it's about time. Now, for your sponsors. Who did you have in mind?"

"The Shepherds." He raised a brow, standing up and walking over to the window. You watched with bated breath. If there was one person in the entire world that you completely trusted, it was Frank. You highly respected his opinions and thoughts, which you couldn't say the same about his wife. But that's a story for another time.

"I'll set up an appointment for you." He finally said, easing your nerves. He turned to you, light brown eyes twinkling with mischief. "Then, we'll figure out a plan."

That conversation was months, if not almost a year, ago, and a lot had happened since then. The one person whom you truly cared about was gone. Gone - one moment he was there, the next he wasn't.

But, as Frank had told you one time, "people leave, you grieve, and then move on." He left, and you were still grieving. Of course, you were. But you seemed to be the only person who cared. Not even his wife, sweet, sweet Claire, seemed to care. For her, it was only a leg up, another step on the political ladder, full of sex, lies, and murder.

Speaking of Claire, you were sitting across from her. Her cold, calculating light blue eyes were boring into yours. You stared back with the same intensity. If there was one thing you knew about the woman sitting in front of you was that she didn't back down. However, it was the same for you.

"You know," she spoke, voice ringing through the stillness of the room. "Francis always trusted you. He didn't trust many people, but you..." her eyes twinkled just as Frank's had that day, "He trusted you completely."

"Those feelings were mutual." You leaned back against the plush cushions of the couch, crossing your left leg over your right. You weren't trying to assert your dominance; but, you wanted Claire to know that you were serious, serious about this plan and what Frank and you had worked on together.

"I'm glad." Claire paused, taking a sip of her coffee before continuing, "I heard you were to partner with the Shepherds?" Her question wasn't so much of one, more so that of a statement. She knew you were, but she wanted clarification. Smart.

"Yes. I think both the I and the Shepherds would benefit from this partnership." While Frank had set up a meeting for you, a shift in plans had canceled it. And, unfortunately, you weren't able to meet with them.

"Well, I hear that they're going to be at the Radisson Hotel tomorrow evening. A few drinks with them, and I'm sure they'd be more than happy to hear you out."

If there was one thing you like about Claire, even though her, shall you say irritating, attributes, it was that she seemed to at least care for you. Whether that was fake or because of Frank, or which you doubted, genuine, you didn't know. What you did know, however, was that she was presenting you with an opportunity. And you'd be a fool for not taking it.

There was a gathering at the hotel. That much you could see as you got out of your taxi. Cars upon cars were outside, and you knew that finding Annette would be trickier than you thought.

Smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles in your clothes, you released a sigh before making your way into the hotel. The lobby was packed with people, mostly politicians. It was a bit overwhelming, so you made your way to the bar.

The bar was the most convenient place - you could scan the lobby with ease without having to move through the jungle of people. You tapped your fingers on the marble counter, another sigh leaving you.

For as long as you'd been there, you thought you would have seen Annette or Bill. Or any of their staff. But to your luck, you saw none. You were never one to give up; anyone who knew you knew that fact, but you were starting to believe Annette wasn't there at all.

The thought of Claire setting you up for failure crossed your mind before you pushed it aside. While the 'C' in Claire stood for conniving, cold, cruel (among others) - you didn't think she would stoop this low.

A drink slid your way snapped you away from your thoughts. You looked up to the bartender with a raise of your eyebrow. He shrugged, slinging his rag over his shoulder before nodding over to the left of you.

You turned your head and met a pair of blue eyes. The man raised his glass to you before taking a sip, all while keeping eye contact with you.

Ignoring him, you continued looking around the crowd of people but, to no avail, saw neither of the Shepherds you needed. Just when you were about to give up and call it a night, someone slid into the seat next to you.

"I'm assuming you don't drink."

Still facing away, eyes mindlessly tracking each new face that popped up, you replied with a simple, "I don't drink when I'm working."

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw the person tilt their head, their middle finger circling the rim of their cup in an almost hypnotizing manner. "You don't look like you're working. Unless," you finally turned to look at them, "you're a reporter - blending in, watching everyone?"

"Not a reporter, but I am working - well, I was. Someone interrupted me." The man shook his head, a slightly muffled laugh coming from behind the glass covering his mouth.

The chances of Annette, or Bill for that matter, being at the Raddison were slim to none. And what better way to make up for wasted time than by indulging in someone's game.

"Oh, was that someone me? If so, you should know," He leaned forward, brown hair staying in place, as he whispered the last part, "I'm not sorry at all."

"I can see," you grabbed the untouched cup of alcohol and took a sip. Whiskey, you thought as you angled your body to face the brunette. Not your usual choice, but hey, it would do for now.

"I'm Dun-"

"Duncan Shepherd," you finished, causing him to raise an eyebrow as he set his cup on the marble counter.

"You know who I am." He seemed almost deflated at your admission, and you were curious as to why.

You nodded, smirking at the slightly surprised look on his face, "Of course, I do. Everyone knows the Shepherds to some degree."

He nodded slowly as if your words were just now registering to him. A smirk crossed his features, which you could easily see was a defense mechanism - but for what?

"You said you were working. What are - excuse me - were you working on?"

"I was actually looking for your mother," he seemed to perk up at that. "A... let's just say - a friend of mine told me that the Shepherds would be here tonight, but, so far, the only Shepherd I see is you."

He squinted at you with a slight tilt of his head. He does that a lot, you noted. Knowing his mannerisms when particular topics were at hand could be beneficial if you were to work with his family.

"Which Shepherd were you looking for then?" Before you could answer, he was quick to ask, "Wait, let me guess - Bill?"

He watched as your face scrunched up a bit before you laughing lightly through your nose. "God, no. No offense-"

"No, no. Please, use as much offense as you want." Duncan was quick to correct you, leaving you shaking your head while laughing.

"Well, with as much offense, your uncle is a bit of, shall I say, dick?" Duncan nodded at your statement, prodding you to continue. "I mean, he's probably one of the most conceited people I've ever met, and believe me - I've met a lot."

"Yeah, my uncle is a work of art, isn't he? I have to say - I'm glad he wasn't your first choice."

"Oh? And why is that?"

"I have my reasons. Now, since you've declared your loathing for my dear uncle," he smirked at the laugh you tried to hide, "I assume you were looking for my mother."

"I was. I had plans to meet with your mother months ago, but we never got around to it." That was the partial truth.

He nodded, turning his body even more so that your knees were brushing up against the others'. Leaning forward, he rested his face on his hand, "What do you know? Neither she nor my uncle is here. What a shame..."

He released a leering sigh before a coy smirk took over, "But would you look at that. I'm here. I guess your friend was right."

"Something tells me you're happy about that," you mused, tilting your head ever so slightly.

You received a half attempted shrug in response, "How about I show you just how happy I am about that?"

"So," he flopped onto the bed next to you, heavy pants falling from his lips, "what do you say? Do you want to take a walk on the dark side, work with the better Shepherd?"

You tilted your head to the ceiling, a loud sigh leaving in between your own panting. In all honesty, you had no problem working with Duncan. If anything, you preferred him over anyone else. And it wasn't just because of what had transpired only minutes before - but because you felt you could trust him and that both of you would achieve many things together.

Now, back to the reason you sighed - you wanted to see his reaction. How would he react? Would he give up? You couldn't have yourself working with someone who gave up at the slightest inconvenience.

"If you need more persuasion," He paused, adjusting his body so that he was hovering above you, blue eyes trailing over your face. "I'll be more than happy to provide you with it."

You laughed a little, directing your gaze back to him, "Although that offer sounds very intriguing, I think I'll pass." You sat up, swinging your feet off the side of the bed. Walking to the bathroom, you turned to see his smirk had fallen.

Before entering the bathroom, you looked at him with a smirk of your own. "How about we discuss how we're going to be working together, instead? Then, you could persuade me more."

Ah, the perks of working with the "better" Shepherd.

tags (if you would like to be added/removed, let me know): @kitty4860

[seungminotes]

A Walk Home 

best friends to lovers w/ Kim Seungmin

a/n: I'm back from my hiatus and happy to say that I really like this piece tho it got kinda dramatic lmao hope you like it too! Always feel free to leave feedback!

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: cursing (like twice?) / gender neutral (please tell me if I messed up with something) / sort of slow-burn and not much payoff but I'd like to think it's very fluffy throughout!

"What took you so long today? I've been waiting here for at least 5 minutes," Seungmin complained at the sight of you finally approaching him. 

It usually didn't take you this long to reach him from your last class, heck sometimes he even had to drink water and you'd get to your usual meeting spot before him. 

Seungmin wasn't particularly the best at waiting on others, for whatever the reason really, he would have probably left anybody else behind by now. But alas, it was you he had been waiting for, and if facing the possibility of having to wait even longer for you, he most likely would. 

"Sorry, I had to talk to someone before leaving," you smiled at your friend, who was now pouting slightly.

You reached up to pinch his cheeks only for him to slap your hands away. 

"No pinching, let's go," he grabbed your wrist, dragging you in the direction of your usual route home. 

You'd known Seungmin for nearly six years now. Having met him when you both were in middle school after moving to the then new town, Seungmin had once been quite fickle towards you, but once he got over his initial disinterest, he realized you were quite special. You'd spotted him taking pictures of the daisies in his front lawn and annoyed him to no end to explain his interest in them. You remember the day vividly, especially now that the firm grip Seungmin held on your wrist highly resembled the same he held on that very first day you met him. 

-

"Aren't daisies a bit plain?" You snuck up behind the boy crouching in an awkward position, clutching his camera so tight his fingers were losing color. 

Seungmin held no reaction to the sudden appearance of someone around his own age spying on him from the sidewalk in front of his own home. In fact, he sighed with a tinge of annoyance at your unwithheld statement and hardly looked up at you, why couldn’t people mind their own business, he thought to himself. 

"I find them quite interesting, actually." He deadpanned, no intention of expanding upon his opinion to someone who he already deemed to be unworthy of his time.

Damn Seungmin was quite stubborn back then, he had barely even glanced at you, but good thing you were quite nosy. 

"How come?" You inquired further. 

Thirteen-year-old Seungmin was not in the mood to explain the complexities of a perfectly amazing daisy to someone who would most likely not care as much as he did about capturing their beauty. 

Nonetheless, he glanced back to where he had seen you standing to notice your figure now hunched over, examining a daisy closely, nose almost touching it's petals, as your lips parted slightly to blow softly onto the flower, clearly in your own little world.

Your rather odd gestures told him you may actually be interested in what could possibly be interesting about the small flowers sparse all over his lawn. 

He slowly approached you, more aware of your presence than before, and snapped God knows how many photos of your posing.

That was at least until he saw your hand reach up to pick the delicate flower from its stem. That’s where he drew the line! Promptly walking over to you and tightly withholding your hand with his awkward grip on your wrist. 

You’d taken the opportunity to look into his big, brown eyes and examine his now blushed face, ultimately deciding this boy was inexplicably ethereal. You could drown in the deepness of his irises and the urge to pinch his pouty cheeks was overpowering your own sense of respectfulness to this stranger. 

-

You remember how he later apologized and  quietly explained to you the meaning of daisies. After bringing out two peanut butter jelly sandwiches from the kitchen onto his porch, where the both of you shared the lunch, he began to ramble on to you about the perfections of a simple flower that was not so simple at all and it's symbolism of true love. 

And from that very moment on, you knew you had fallen in love with Kim Seungmin, the nerd next door who explained the very composition of flowers to you over a sandwich at age 13. 

And unbeknownst to you, Kim Seungmin had developed a disgustingly soft spot in his heart for his absent-minded  new friend next door. 

-

Nothing much had changed now. You were still hopelessly in love with Seungmin, who was as focused as ever on his studies and baseball team activities just six years later. 

-

The memory and realization fade just as soon as it came to you with Seungmin's grip on your wrist, which now that you look back down was still quite firm about a minute into your usual walk home. 

Though you could almost guarantee it wasn't anything intentionally done by Seungmin, it didn't fail to put a stupid smile on your face. 

So far Seungmin had noticed your rather quiet disposition, something he deemed off about you.

"Are you okay?" He asked. 

"Perfectly fine," you grinned, narrowing your eyes into happy crescents as you lifted the arm that currently clinged Seungmin's own hand, much to his embarrassment. 

He'd quickly released your arm at your teasing, opting to scratch the back of his head as he scoffed. 

"Who'd you stay to talk with today?" He asked. You'd assumed he was simply trying to change the subject from his embarrassment, but in fact, the thought of who you could have possibly spent just five minutes with after school had been eating him alive for the past minute. You had never made him wait, at least not without some sort of warning.

"Just a guy in my chem class, I met him by my locker on the way out," you responded, not giving your answer much thought. 

"What did he want?" He asked again. 

Seungmin sure had been asking an awful lot today. 

"Don't be so nosy, Seungmin! It really doesn’t suit you. It doesn't really matter much anyway. And how do you know I wasn't the one who wanted something from him, huh?" You teased him slightly, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Can't I ask about the whereabouts of my best friend when they leave me out in the hot, melting sun waiting for them!" He teased back, stopping in his tracks to begin to poke your sides harshly.

"Fine, fine, fine!" You give in. "Just stopppppp," you shook his hands away.

"Hyunjin offered to tutor me in chem. I'm officially failing," you laugh off, "he wanted to ask what days we should schedule our study sessions for." You explained.

"Wait, Hyunjin? As in Hwang Hyunjin? The pretty one?" Seungmin's eyes widen at the thought of a rather good looking and outgoing guy offering you tutoring lessons out of the goodness of his heart, he almost scoffs out loud. 

"Stop asking so many questions, Min!" You softly punch his arm, bursting his thought bubble. 

"Besides, 'the pretty one', Min? I didn't know you liked Hyunjin like that? Want me to put in a good word for you?" You teased further, laughing at his choice of words. Sure, Hyunjin was pretty well known by most for his good looks, but he had simply offered you help in your studies in a subject he happened to excel in and that had no such thing to do with his looks. 

"Shut up," he rolled his eyes, taking his turn to lightly punch you back from before. 

Afterwards the walk fell to a comfortable silence between the two of  you. 

At least that was how you would describe it to be. While you happily hummed and thought of what snacks you could whip up once you got home, Seungmin seriously pondered why you hadn't told him you weren't doing so well in chemistry. Or why you hadn't come to him for help first, he had already taken the class after all? And why the very thought of Hwang Hyunjin being with you by your locker afterschool while he had to wait outside for you made him so uncomfortable. Was uncomfortable the right word in this situation? He thought some more and concluded the thought of Hyunjin near you at all made him exceptionally mad, not just uncomfortable, for whatever the reason may have been (though he did have a hunch as to why he was feeling this way).

You looked over at the quiet boy next to you, noticing his intense state of thought, as he harshly bit his lower lip, furrowed his eyebrows slightly and kept an adamant gaze ahead of him. The sight was quite cute actually, cute enough to make you laugh. 

"Earth to Kim Seungmin, you are wanted here immediately, please report for duty," you giggled, dramatically waving your arm in front of his face to snap him out of his daze. 

"Sorry," Seungmin suddenly looks at you, cheeks hot and hands clenched onto the straps of his backpack. 

His gaze is not like anything you'd ever seen come from him. It looks serious, yet almost sad? The way his eyes look glossed over have you wanting to kiss his cheeks and lift the corners of his mouth to reveal his signature smile, the one you love so much.

But you know better than to let your imagination get the best of you and you quickly shake your head to get rid of such thoughts about your best friend in his very presence.

"No worries, just talk to me if you need to, okay?" You reach over to comfort him, rubbing his arm softly in assurance of your words. 

Little did you know you were killing Seungmin RIP. 

You were now approaching your front porch, ready to whip out your keys and say home sweet home. Seungmin always came over for a bit after school to talk and mess around a bit before starting homework and today was no different. 

But just as you opened the door with the thought about what video game Seungmin would want to play today floating in your head, you noticed the boy had yet to move from the step of the porch. 

"Seungmin? Don't you want to come in?" You walked back over to him, choosing to stay standing on the step above him. 

"Y/n," he practically whispered. 

Suddenly, at this close proximity, you realize the tension in his face and the worry behind his eyes and the burning of his cheeks. 

You softly reach over and unclasp one of Seungmin's hands from the strap of his bag, taking his hand into your own and rubbing your thumb over his numb knuckles for comfort. 

"Are you okay Minnie? Do you need water? Are you sick?" You reach up to his forehead with your other hand to check his temperature. 

"No, I just think I need to tell you something, now." He spoke formally, no hint of his usual teasing or playfulness when it came to you. 

You could only nod at his strange current state, you were quite concerned. 

"Don't take Hyunjin's help." He stated firmly, as if reading it from a list of rules. His serious disposition did not falter one bit, as if he had given out the most simple order. 

"Is this what this is about? Min, how am I supposed to pass that dumb class. Seungmin I'm failing, like with an F, I know you don't know what that's like, but neither did I until now and I have to fix it somehow! We can't all be straight A students without even having to try!" You were practically tearing up at the intensity of which your words came out, you'd slightly lost control of your emotions in the moment, but Seungmin remained calm through the sharp words you threw, knowing you were simply frustrated with your grades and held no ill intentions with them. 

"I can help you study, I can stay with you at the library all day explaining it to you if I have to, I'll take notes on your textbook and give them to you. Why didn't you tell me you needed help sooner?" He looked at you even more intensely, if that were even possibly. Then reaching over, he held your free hand in his own free hand. 

At this point the worry in his eyes only made you want to hug him for the rest of your life, but there was so much tension surrounding the two of you right now.

"Min, you don't have to do that. If you don't want me getting help from Hyunjin, I won't. I trust you. But you don't have to waste your time being my teacher, trust me on that, you'll regret it." You attempt to laugh off your answer while swinging his hands in yours to lighten the mood, even if it's just a bit. Unfortunately, your teary eyes from your previous outburst give you away as a tear rolls down your cheek. 

Seungmin was unsure about how to go about this further. He wasn't sure how you didn't seem to get it? That he would sacrifice his sleep to help you pass a class, just so he could be the one to help you, not some Hwang Hyunjin. That he wouldn't hesitate to do anything, and he means anything, if you simply asked. That he currently had more photos of you on his camera and phone than he did selfies of himself. That he liked you for fuck's sake. How could you have not seen it in his blushy mess of a nervous state right now. Was he really that freaking deep in the friendzone? 

"I want to waste my time teaching you chemistry because I know I won't regret it. Because I'd never regret time spent with you." His words remained calm and precise, again as if he had prepared them and read them off a notecard. He looked down at his shoes, unable to confront you after the cheesy words left his mouth. 

He felt his hands begin to moisten with sweat in your grasp and tried to remove them from your hands. However he was met with your refusal, as your hands tightly gripped his own. 

"Kim Seungmin, I like you. Like really like you. Like, like-like you. And you cannot say those things to me and be protective of me and be cheesy with me and expect me not to want to just hug you and kiss you as if we weren't just best friends!" You blurted, in a sing-song whine much like your usual tone with your best friend.

You took in a very long breath of frustration and looked down as well. 

You were so caught up in thoughts of the implications of the words that had left your mouth so quickly, that you did not bother to notice how Seungmin had in fact perked up at your words and practically resembled a tomato at this point, not that you looked any less of the shade of red.

“Wait what????” Seungmin was awestruck from your outburst, was he hallucinating? This was not the time for his imagination. 

“There is no way, I’m repeating that,” you pouted.

“Not even if, I tell you I feel the same?” Seungmin smiled.

“Maybe after…” you swung your intertwined hand again.

“After ….?” he mocks

Seungmin suddenly closes the already small distance between the two of you and lands his soft lips just barely on the surface of your cheek. 

“Can you say it again now?” he teases. 

All tension dispelled, the mood is suffocating with the puppy love-struck expressions emitting from both your eyes. 

- 

“Seungmin, how can you kiss me before you even tell me you like me?” 

You’re both inside now, after your apparently long-awaited confession, Seungmin had decided a cuddle session was called for in celebration, not that you were complaining. 

“I thought it was just obvious?” Seungmin replies 

“We could have been dating for so long by now,” You both sigh to one another at the thought you’d both had looming in your heads for the past hour.

“Guess we’ll just have to make up for lost time,” Minnie nuzzles his head into your neck trying to hide from his own sly remark. 

“Can we study chem now though, I’m still failing,” You whisper into his ear, the notion of that failing grade still very much prominent in your head. 

“In a bit, do you know how long I’ve waited for this?” The arms around your waist tighter their loose grip and Seungmin pulls you even closer to him, enough to feel the warmth emitting from his chest and suddenly you thought chem could wait.

[littlemisssquiggles]

So I recently sent a response to Shannon McCormick, Oz's voice actor: "I know you said the group is gonna trust Oz again and reconcile, but I'm not feeling very hopeful. They're still so bitter towards him and not trying to understand him... and are doing the same things they demonized him for, yet it's being treated like it's okay. I know you can't give spoilers and I don't expect you to, but it's something that's got me really down." He responded with: "Keep the faith."

Hey Miki-chan. Ah yes, good ole Shannon coming in clutch with that boast of optimism. I’m actually curious as to whether or not, we will even get to see Oz return for V7. The opening certainly didn’t give any indication of it; sadly to say. If I’m expecting Oz to return at all, it’s probably by the end of the season.

While I do want Oz to return and reconcile with the group, I’m skeptical about having it go back to the way things were before with Ozpin constantly taking control of Oscar’s body and more or less eclipsing his development. I miss Oz but I don’t miss that. This is why I liked how they showed him as a more of guiding voice for Oscar at the end of V6 with the airship crash.In my opinion, that’s what I initially assumed their dynamic was going to belike until the show revealed the soul swapping technique in V5.

I want Oscar to shine on his own, if possible, for V7. If Oz were to return to the story, I hope his role is relegated to being more of a literal voice of reasonand guidance taking up full residence inside of Oscar’s head; not really takingover as much as he used to but lending instructions to Oscar on how to moveespecially in combat while allowing the young boy to think on his feet and makeuse of that good ole muscle memory he is expected to inherit. If Oscar isbecome Ozpin’s successor and successful one to boot, Oz can’t keep holding his hand. He’s got to let Oscar grow into the role and I think he’s being goinggood so far. But he still does need Oz to be there to help. Hence why I’mhoping that, if Oz is to return, I really wish for Oscar to be the one to go inafter him to bring him back.

Since Oscar was the only seen to show Oz a bit of sympathy last season, I wish for this to continue as it can definitely push the growth of the bond between the Two Souls. If there is one person I’m expecting to vouch on Oz’s behalf at this point, it’s Oscar. Ruby was another character I was hoping would certainly join him in that court. However…things are a little complicated right now with our little red rose and the path she seems to be taking this season.  I’ll discuss this more under thread.

While we’re on the topic of Oz’ reconciliation with the hero group, I’m really sorry to hear that this development has had you disappointed and feeling down, Miki-chan. I get where your frustration is coming from but at the same time, I also agree with Shannon on keeping the faith.

Similar to how Oz’s skeletons coming out of the closet was a narrative slow-burn that’s been churning since as early as V5, I feel as if it’s going to be the same forhis path to redemption with the team and regaining their trust. The only thingI dislike about this plot point is how we still have everyone more or less sharingthe same opinion of Oz with little indication on whether or not anyone isreally starting to consider that the other side of the coin where Oz wasjustified in his actions.

When this plot point first dropped back in V6, what was fascinating about it was how divided it made the fandom. It opened the grounds for discussion and debating with everyone sharing their different outlooks on the scenario and that was quite neat.

I just wished that the Writers had mimicked that in the series; y’know? When I first saw the V6 volume poster, art with Oz and Oscar at the centre while Team RWBY were all divided around the two of them; I figured that that was what the season was going to be like more or less.

With the team being divided on their overall trust Oz and growing trust in Oscar with some folks, such as Ruby and possibly Blake standing in the court that defended both souls whereas Weiss and Yang weren’t as convinced.

It would’ve been great to see everyone sharing different outlooks and reactions to the news about Oz’s past with Salem and her immortality; Team RWBY’s as well as JNR’s.  

It would’ve been great to see that because it could have even leant itself to paving the road towards Ozpin’s eventual reconciliation in this new season or whenever the showrunners decided to have it happen down the line.

However, instead, thus far it’s mostly been everyone sharing the same opinion—Oz was wrong and is not to be trusted anymore.This is now made even worse by the notion that the heroes are currently committing the same action of ‘deceiving and/or withholding vital info from your allies’ as Oz once did with them.

However what’s almost comical is how the narrative—the PLOT—is trying to get us as the audience to think that the heroes are in the right when really…they’re not?

At least to me, they’re not. I’ve seen examples of other FNDM fam members taking a supportive stance for the actions of Ruby and the other heroes’ deceit with Ironwood and their Atlesian allies. This squiggle meister, on the other hand, has not been that easily convinced. Sorry.  

I think what bugs me the most regarding the execution of this subplot is how much the heroes are able to get away with when it comes to their actions. I understand that the Writers are more or less attempting to show a parallel between our gaggle of heroes and Ozpin by having them take greater risks for the sake of fulfilling their mission while additionally making questionable choices. 

That idea is fine and I like that they’re doing this with them especially since I think it could still lend to them eventually making up with Oz by understanding why he did the things he did since now they’ve been in his shoes. That part of it is good. Great even.

However, somehow, I dunno—for me, our heroes’ recent actions don’t have the same kind of impact on me as Ozpin’s did. I guess where I’m really getting at here is that when I learnt the truth about Oz last season, my main reason for staying in his court was because I understood his reasons for doing the things he did.

While I’ll call Oz out for his wrong in lying and keeping his secrets from people he believed were his most trusted allies, I was still sympathetic towards Oz because I genuinely felt that his actions were justified especially following the events of the Lost Fable.

The PLOT wants me to believe that Oz is this morally grey type of man and he is, to some degree. However the PLOT also wishes for me as the audience to believe that Oz has been nothing but this deceitful person throughout history and that the heroes are perfectly in the right for choosing to never trust in him again. But here’s the thing with that—I see Oz as being more…smart than fraudulent.

Yes Oz told lies and half-truths and kept important secrets that could shake the world of Remnant—but what some people seem to be forgetting is that there was good, valid reason behind the way Oz chose to do things. Oz was careful. Meticulous with the kind of people he chose to disclose the truth to as well as the information he chose to tell them and the right time to revealsaid information as well.

I’d like to think that this is how Oz was able to successfully keep things under wraps for so many lives as a means of more or less keeping the peace. Because of how careful he’d chose to move along with the kind of people he decided to place his trust in. Oz was cautious and as he explained in V6, his vigilance was backed up mostly by his experience over the centuries especially his first one with Salem

This is the issue I’m having with our heroes. Although they are committing the same actions as Oz, especially the part of choosing to hide the truth from Ironwood—their actions feel reckless and unwarranted in my opinion and I can’t get behind it as well as I did with Ozpin because I personally don’t feel the heroes are as justified in their actions as Oz was.

Even though the PLOT is trying to paint this picture that James shouldn’t be completely trusted and our heroes are in the right in not trusting him fully with the truth about Salem, for me, I honestly felt like our heroes jumped the gun on that one, just like how they jumped the gun back in Argus in choosing to illegally commandeer an airship to Atlas as opposed to trying any other means that could’ve rendered them the same results with less repercussions involving trouble with the military and the safety of the citizens of Argus.

According to the PLOT, Ruby was correct in making the call to not reveal the whole truth to Ironwood given how he and his forces have been treating the poor people of Mantle; not to mention our heroes upon their arrival in Atlas. This isevidenced by Ruby in V7CH3 in her response to Yang’s questioning.  

“Can we talk about that again?”“What about it?”

“We’re really not going to tellIronwood about what happened to Oz? What we learned about Jinn? About Salem?”

“…We are! We…will. But you saw howthings looked when we flew into Atlas.”

“The General’s heart seems to be inthe right place but…that doesn’t mean we should trust him yet.”

“Why don’t we play along for a whilebefore we make any major decisions?”  

I’d like to highlight Ruby’s indifference to her own actions again. Just something I pegged noteworthy since it reminded me of her attitude towards revealing her true feelings regarding the Aftermath of the Fall of Beacon—how she nonchalantly seemed to shrug away Oscar’s attempt at telling her that it’s alright for her to be open with him about how she’s truly feeling… right before Oscar switches his approach and firmly calls her out on his indifference which in turn finally forced her to come clean and be straight with him.

While I understand that the whole Mantle situation is a complicated matter, to me, that still doesn’t rule out it being a good reason for the heroes to lie to Ironwood.

I’d understand it more if it was a matter of Ruby being strategic in the information that she discloses to Ironwood but that’s not what the case is here. It’s not to saythat Ruby told James some of the truth and was very careful with what she chose to disclose and how she worded said information. It’s that she flat out liedand then repeated the same lie that Oz had fed them about the Relic ofKnowledge back in Mistral.

I know Ruby is trying to say she can’t trust Ironwood 100% because of how things are looking in Mantle and Atlas because of his actions. But on the other hand, I’m surprised it didn’t inspire her to be more upfront rather than the opposite take.

Based on what Pietro said in the first episode, Ironwood has been paranoid and on higher maintenance since the Fall of Beacon. That being said, why chose to withhold information from a man who is already fearful of being betrayed again by those closest to him since it was mentioned earlier in the season that it was one of his Atlas’ own—someone who worked closely with Atlas’ security and the military (Watts)  that contributed to the destruction of Beacon Academy and so much more in chaos in Vale?

“The Fall of Beacon took a toll on all of us. James was no different. I couldn’t tell you exactly what it is he saw there, but it changed him. He’s—”

“…He’s scared.”

“Paranoid would be the more appropriate term. You have to understand, it wasn’t just the Grimm. Someone completely dismantled Atlas’ security code. Made it their plaything and made us look like traitors to some and buffoons to everyone else. Whoever managed to do that is either a genius or one of our own. I fear the answer may be both and so does the General.”

Again, with that thought in mind I ask again, why did Ruby think it was a wise choice to lie to Ironwood given what she learned specifically from Pietro regarding his frame of mind right now?

See why the hero’s actions are having the opposite effect for me?

While I get why it’s a possible motive, I still think what the heroes are doing with James is unwarranted. As a matter of fact, I feel like they’ve only made thingsworse for themselves by withholding info from Ironwood given his current frameof mind.

I’d like to think that Ironwood’s experience in Vale has made him more than just paranoid. He’s become more…I wouldn’t say soft but emotionally vulnerable than he was when we first met him.

This is why I don’t wish for Ruby’s mistrust of Ironwood to come back to appear as if she took advantage of Ironwood in his vulnerable state. Because I feel like that could easily feed into Ironwood’s paranoia—to learn that he couldn’t eventrust the people he placed fate in and showed kindness to. To show that heextended them his hand in reliance only for them to not do the same of him.

I know one of the common FNDM theories is that Ironwood isn’t being completely honest with our heroes, however I’m starting to think otherwise. Up until this point in the plot, Ironwood has been upfront with JNR_RWBY and Qrow about everything. Every question they’ve asked of him, he’s told them in full confidence. So far, I haven’t gotten the impression that James has been lying to the heroes at all.

Since he returned the Relic of Knowledge to Ruby and reassured her of his trust,I genuinely feel like he’s been nothing but upfront with the group abouteverything including all that’s been going down with him and his kingdom—bothsides of it.

If Ironwood was shown to be shady as well then I could’ve easily bought into theheroes doing the same thing with him because then their actions would’ve beenreasonable. If Ironwood was the same man he was shown to be back in V2 and was shown to be withholding important information from our heroes especially when they asked him vital questions in need of clarification, similar to how Oz had done with them, then I could’ve gotten behind our heroes taking that mindful approach.

However, this isn’t what I’ve seen from the show’s execution. Instead I’m seeingIronwood behaving pretty trustworthy while the heroes are the ones beingdeceitful and it all feels so very wrong on the heroes’ part. Especially when you have some of them behaving that they were right in keeping secrets from James. What especially bothered me a little was what Qrow told Ruby in the recent CH4.

“I’m trying to do what I think is best but…I really can’t tell if what’sbest is what’s right or if I’m no different from Oz”

Then is an excellent question for Ruby to ask of herself. It’s great because it highlights that she’s taken into consideration what her teammates have toldher—particularly Oscar. It shows that Oscar’s questioning of her actions mimicking Ozpin’s has weighed on her mind-set. So I’m pleased with this frame of thinking from Ruby. However, this moment is short-lived for me by what Qrow says next in response to Ruby’s statement.

“…Ruby, Oz only trusted himself with the whole truth. You’re trusting others, making sure they prove themselves first. I think that’s a pretty big difference.”

…Okay….One thing admittedly right about that statement, yes. Yes; Oz did only trust himself with the whole truth. That is indeed correct. But, there’s also some clear wrong in that statement as well.

Qrow…I get that you’re probably still very, very upset that Oz deceived you and hurt you on a personal level. However, what I am in completely disbelief of is—how could Qrow say that Ruby is no different than Oz because she trusts in others, making sure that they prove themselves worthy of her trust before giving the whole truth?

I’m sorry…WHAT! But…but…Qrow; how can YOU of all people say that with a straight face? How can you remotely imply that at all? Especially the line about Oz only trusting himself and putting his faith in those he believes trustworthy. I’m sorry but that line comes off like utter rubbish to my ears.

Qrow Branwen—you are a living, breathing exemplar of earning Ozpin’s trust. Oz trusted you! He trusted James. He trusted Glynda. He trusted LeonardoLionheart. The entire Inner Circle of Oz only exists because Oz decided to place his trust in a handful of people he deemed worthy of knowing the truth.

While he kept the main truth about Salem’s immortality to himself; that doesn’t erase the fact that he trusted his Inner Circle with everything else. The Maidens. The Relics. Even his own immortality curse and reincarnation cycle. Oz told it all to this particular small group of people because he believed he could trust in them. Oz believed in the integrity of ALL members of his Inner Circle because he trusted each and everyone of them….EVEN when they stab him in the back. Right V2 Ironwood? Right Lionheart?

He even believed in Team STRQ! I’m actually curious to know how muchdid this team know about the truth. We know he trusted Raven and Qrow byturning them into birds with his magic. So I’m curious to know if Summer andTai were also fully aware of ¾ of the truth that Oz trusted his main peoplewith. I’m assuming they did and they kept it as part of their secrets as well.

Speaking of—Qrow, are you forgetting that you also helped Oz keep and uphold some of those secrets?  He entrusted you with ¾ of the whole truth and you’ve been sitting on it as well as your own secrets that you were keeping from your family; particularly your young nieces.

In a nutshell, Qrow’s statement to Ruby further highlight’s the hero’s hypocrisywith Oz. For me, this line didn’t serve to debunk the fact that Ruby is turningto Oz. It only embellished it for me. It affirmed it.

Ruby is indeed turning into Oz and what’s sad is that Qrow, her own beloved uncle and mentor figure, is oblivious to this fact because he’s currently too blinded by both his sustained resentment towards Oz and his love for his niece.  

And it’s pretty much the same for everyone else. Weiss and Blake are pretty complacent with following Ruby’s lead and backing her up on her actions with Ironwood. Yang shows uncertainty but is otherwise complacent too. We still don’t know how Jaune, Nora and Ren feel in regards to this. I’d actually like to hear them weigh in their thoughts on Oz and Ruby’s actions towards James. But I’mconcerned we might not get that since, as evidenced by the PLOT, I think it’spretty clear who are the key drivers of this subplot for V7.

I feel like it’s going to be mostly our veteran Rosebuds—Ruby and Oscar—presenting the two differing sides of this subplot with deceiving Ironwood and I feel like Oz’s reconciliation is prevalent on the results of it.

My theory is that Oscar will be the key to jumpstarting the path to Oz’s reconciliation with the team.

Moreover, I feel like Oscar is going to need Ruby’s support in vouchingfor Oz with the rest of the team; especially with Qrow and possibly Yang and Jaune.

Since the running thing is that most of the hero team follow Ruby’s leadership, I think it can be safe to say that so long as Ruby still shows uncertainty with Oz, it’s going to be mirrored by the others. I think if Oscar gets Oz to come back fromhis isolation in his mind and then gains Ruby’s full trust by helping see thewrong in what she’s doing now by doing the exact thing Oz did while alsohelping her to understand where Oz was coming from.

The only person I think this isn’t go to win over is Qrow. At least, I think Qrow might end up needing more time to work out whatever is going on with him before he can “forgive Oz” since his anger towards him is all wrapped up in his issues with himself and his semblance which encompasses his entire life thus far basically. 

Before, Qrow looked to Oz for validation in the good that he was doing which was why the revelation hit him harder than anyone else. So until Qrow works out his inner skeletons, I think he’ll still be resistant to facing Oz again. Thisseason teased Qrow sharing good “comradery” with Clover. I’m curious to seewhere that will go and whether or not it will lead into Qrow dishing out somedetails on what his past was like with Oz back when he met him as a student ofBeacon.

As a matter of fact, I’m intrigued by any info regarding what Oz’s relationship was like with all the members of his Inner Circle since I believe it can lend to Oscar’s turn with the Merge. 

Like I have a Tin Solider headcanon that Ironwood has actually known Oz from since back when he used to be old self—meaning the man I’ll dub Zoroaster Ozpin, nicknamed ‘Zo’ for short BEFORE he became the man we know as Professor Ozpin.

We know who Oz is but…who was Oz before he became Oz? Who was Zo and did Ironwood know him personally?

Ironwood’s remark to Oscar about Oz’s disappearance not being normal definitely gave me that impression. I think it could be pretty cool if one of Oz’s closest known allies actually knew him before and after the Merge. It could help shed some much needed perspective for Oscar on what the Merge entails for him especially if he heard it from the mouth of someone who knew Oz closely for basically two lifetimes? I’d really love to see something like that done for the canon.  

But that’s only my hunch.

I’d honestly wish to discuss more on this subject since there is surprisingly more I can say about this. However this is getting a little too long for a simple response post. Just another day, am I right? XD So I’m going to end it right here.

I know you didn’t really ask me a question Miki-chan but I still wanted to provide my take on the subject matter you presented and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Feel free to answer or inbox me another message if you’d like as always ^u^)b Peace!

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

[queenjanai]

⭐- I'm interested in your thought processes on any of your stories!

thank you anon! well i am going to talk about my most recent fic, the cop au (i feel like i should find a different name for it). i’m putting it under a read more because it became longer then i expected.

it was a very fun, self-satisfying thing to write, but also challenging. why? except from the fact that i forced myself to stay awake until i finished it, it was very dialog heavy, and action within dialog heavy, which is not my strong suit. i’m very good with descriptions and emotions, thoughts and wondering, but when it comes to conversations, i always fear like they’re not interesting enough or sounding just bland

one of my favorite method (that can get kind of confusing when i’m using past tense) is recalling through action. it’s when i start the fic with a scene and the character thinks back about what led them to this certain point. in this fic, janai is going down the escalator in the katolis airport. it’s another thing i like doing, start with action to get the reader’s attention, and roll from there

so janai is on the airport for one paragraph and then i switch it back to the reason why she came to katolis, which is her sister’s death, and i describe a little what happened

Janai had been just outside the building when it happened. She was about to enter five minutes late with the cup of coffee that delayed her to proudly listen to her older sister give her speech when the explosion came. Some people might say the worst part was the fire, consuming the glass panels of the towers, burning so harshly one couldn’t look at the blinding light directly, but it wasn’t the truth. The worst part was the sound, louder than anything Janai ever heard, like infinite thunders striking at once. The aftershock was bad too, and it ripped Janai twenty feet back before she hit the hard floor, and the world went dark.

i realllllly love that part. tried to paint the image of the explosion, the sound and the aftershock. i’m not really fond of writing “some people might say/agree/disagree” because “people” are outside of the world i’m writing from, but it seems good in this context, and i got to have some character input during a traumatic moment. nice.

When she regained her consciousness- five seconds, ten minutes, an hour, it didn’t matter-  […] black smoke swirling up the sky into a cloud that blocked the sun’s light.

another thing i really like doing is repetition, especially when trying to showcase speed or in this case, unimportance. and the smoke blocking the light was a little reference to the light disappearing from lux aurea after aaravos corrupts the sunfire staff

okay let’s move on!

It was just another regular day at the station, to the very least. Amaya took the last sip of her coffee while Gren and Corvus chatted from her left and right, over an opened plastic box full of cookies Corvus baked last night. Amaya reached over for another cookie and watched them converse over how many strawberries in Gren’s favorite strawberry cake are too many strawberries. In her opinion, Corvus had the upper hand. He was the one making it, after all.

this starting paragraph is special. why? because i hate starting scenes with dull actions like taking a sip from your coffee. it was about to be my opener before i put in the regular day sentence. like, any coffee shop au that starts with “x sipped their coffee” can drive me crazy. another way i broke my rules is the filler detail of the conversation over strawberries. my rule is if you don’t have anything else to add, don’t add it, because fillers are just here to be fillers, and sometimes you can drop them. but i liked that. a little humor

“Yeah, sure,” Gren nodded and pushed his chair, grabbing his own cup.

Amaya stood after him and shifted her gaze at Corvus before dropping it to his cup. “Yes, thank you,” he outstretched his glass to her.

remember when i said i’m not good at dialogs? this was just the beginning. a rule of thumb i learned: i could’ve written “gren got up” but show, don’t tell. so gren doesn’t get up, he pushes his chair. and he doesn’t take his cup, he grabs it. also i really don’t like repeating actions so close to one another, so amaya stood up because i didn’t write it for gren. 

something you’ll see in my writing A Lot: glance, gaze, eyes, stare. shifted, moved, dropped, lingered. i got a thing for looking. so i also space between nouns: amaya first shifts her glace before dropping it. and i am droping my mic

“I’d like to report a murder,” she said, and Amaya didn’t need her hearing to sense the venom in her words.

The receptionist seemed to be taken back too. “Who’s the victim?” She asked, voice tight.

For the first time, Amaya questioned her lips-reading skills. “My sister. Your Lieutenant Viren murdered her.”

okayy. here’s the thing. i really don’t like- physically unable- to write a dialog without having something before or after it. i really needed to dig to find the sentences before the receptionist and amaya’s lines.

Gren was quicker to respond than her. He rushed to the woman’s side, who scanned him from head to heel with a single bat of her eyes and a distasteful curl in her lips. “Hey, may you please come with us?” He asked and grabbed her by the arm before she could react.

Amaya was by his side then. “What? Let go of me,” the woman began to pull away, and spun to Amaya’s direction when she gently closed her hand around her arm. Up this close, Amaya saw her eyes were dark as coal.

my goal in here was to get these fast actions in a very limited time, but still make them all flow. so gren walks to janai, she realizes he’s walking to her, he grabs her, and by that time amaya grabs her too, and janai looks at her when she goes. added the last line to emphasize how close they are

“Who are you?” Amaya signed.

The woman turned her head to them at Gren’s voice, looking rather puzzled trying to understand which one of them asked the question. She settled on Amaya eventually.

“Who am  I ?” She leaned forward, and the crease across her forehead deepened the more she frowned. “Who are you?” She shot Amaya a look that was as sharp as needles.

“The bomb in Lux Aurea,” Gren cut in, sadness masking his face. “She’s the governor’s sister.”

Amaya’s gaze went to him at the same time as the woman’s. She certainly didn’t hear about any governor, nor about her sister. How much did Gren withhold from her?

“I’m Detective Gren, and this is Sergeant Amaya,” he continued. “And you are Janai, right?”

one of my favorite tricks! spacing between dialog to create the feeling there’s a pause. everything that is bolded is there to create a pause between all the dialog, because they are all trying to understand as they go. (imagine the bolded parts weren’t there, i’d be a lot faster)

Gren’s eyes went wide. “Are you seriously admitting to planning a murder in a police station?”

Amaya lifted her head, sighing, and dropped her hands on his shoulders so he would listen. “I believe Viren could do it-” she began.

“Wait, what?”

“But maybe let’s not do that here.”

i hope gren came out as sarcastic rather than shocked in the beginning. also, nothing before or after his line. it killed me, but i had to do it

Janai was just passing the counter when Amaya caught her hand. She immediately spun around and tore her arm away, that furious look on her face. Amaya didn’t let that rattle her, and she reached out for her notepad and a pen from her back pocket.

Don’t do something you’ll regret. I understand your pain,  she wrote and tore off the page.

Janai lingered on the paper, as if reading the note over and over again, before she lifted her face to Amaya.

“You don’t understand anything,” she shoved the page back at her and broke off.

the writing police called, that ending is too dramatic! but really, i love this part. i think it’s my favorite part. we got actions like running back and grabbing janai’s hand and janai moving away and amaya tear the paper and janai shoving it back at her. and of course, how could i not include the good old fashioned “i understand you, really” “no you don’t” “no you idiot i REALLY understand”

it’s just so good

thank you!!

[ganymedesclock]

One thing with vld that I'm a little disappointed about is that we never really see keith and allura's dynamic actually developing or taking a place in the show, minus the (awkward in my opinion) hug in s2 when allura came to terms with keith being part galra. How do you think they'd interact normally? What I'm basically asking is do you have any platonic keith and allura headcanons??

The vibe I get from Keith and Allura at present is that both of them clearly care about each other- in s2e9, Allura’s disapproval affects Keith a lot, and in s4e1, Allura worries a lot about Keith as he seems to be drifting from the team. They want each other to be happy and they want to be together as a unit, as part of Voltron.

But I don’t think they quite understand each other. Keith is still kind of withdrawn- he hasn’t forged strong connections with most of the team, honestly. He only really has strong bonds with Shiro and is sorta moving towards that with Lance. S2e9, which I adore, is I think a big exercise in Hunk trying to get Keith to open up, and trying to connect to him- and even after they’ve been a team and fighting together for a while, Hunk is genuinely surprised to discover Keith’s dry sense of humor, which while I don’t blame Hunk for not noticing it, it’s been a thing all along.

This is kind of a significant sticking point. Keith has beautiful potential to have a deep bond with Pidge as his fellow arm pilot, Hunk as an affectionate person- especially physically- when Keith desperately craves affection. Hell, Hunk’s curiosity about Keith’s situation is important because Keith’s really not taking initiative to get his own answers at this point.

And Allura. Keith and Allura had this moment in s2e6 where I think both of them were surprised at how similar they found themselves in that situation. Their fears aligned, their rationale aligned- it wasn’t a complete mirror, but, there was definitely that initial connection. And I think that’s why, on Allura’s end, it meant so much to her that she felt like Keith wasn’t honest with her, that he took her sincerity and hid something as important as the galra, which she had some massively complicated feelings about, from her.

Both Keith and Allura are kind of hungry for connection but both of them, for very different reasons, hesitate to push it further.

Allura, in part, is struggling from a massive amount of trauma, but, also, she’s determined to uphold the expectations of a just and noble leader. She adores Alfor, and is trying to follow in his wake, and I think it’s worth noting that both her attempt at bonding with the Red Lion, and her initial unsuccessful forays with Blue, are very much about duty.

Because of this, Allura often withholds her emotions. Overwhelmingly, we’ve seen her really open and be honest with Alfor’s AI, and Coran, and Keith that one time in s2e6- but again, she felt betrayed, because she felt like that honesty wasn’t reciprocated.

Keith, conversely, is mortally terrified of rejection and because of this, by his own admission, walls others off, because if he stays distant from them it’ll make their inevitable rejection less painful. It’s trauma-born thinking of a very different kind.

So I think both of them are a little distant at this point, and their other issues- like Allura failing to convey the comforting “you are one of us, and we need you here. I need you here. I miss you when you’re gone,” that she meant to in s4e1 which Keith took as just a lecture like he specifically asked not to have- crops up because of that distance. They don’t necessarily have a good understanding of where the other is coming from emotionally.

So they mutually care, deeply. They want each other to be happy. But at this point they don’t really understand what the other needs and both of them are people who kind of benefit from someone else breaking the ice.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in s3 and s4 both of them developed some pretty strong bonds with Lance- because Lance is exactly the kind of person to poke and prod at others to help them open up. If anything, he’s reflexively drawn to closed-off people for the sheer pleasure of seeing what the heck they’re hiding in there- Keith, Pidge, Allura, Shiro, all people who are sort of inclined to hide depths one way or another and all of whom, Lance immediately has strong opinions about right from the start. Positive or negative, they command his attention.

And lo and behold- we’ve already heard that Lance won’t like Lotor going into s5, and who’s Lotor but another closed-off secretive sort of person, and it’s confirmed that Lance, being Lance, is going to be focusing on Lotor.

But getting back to Keith and Allura- I think that they could be encouraged to get closer, but, it might sort of count on outside situations to help them sorta... initiate. Alternatively, it’s possible that Allura’s breakthrough with Blue coming from asking for help and acknowledging that she can’t control everything and trying to force herself to won’t work- is ultimately going to draw her closer to the entire team by allowing her to open up more. In which case she could help sorta break the awkward standoff with her and Keith.

[theticklishpear]

Hi! I'm not a fan of writing multiple POVs, say à la Rick Riordan style, but I found myself with 4-5 characters who often experience important plot points alone. For example, one travels for a while alone and meets other people, one is almost always paired with another but at a certain point she had a very important encounter with an antagonist, and so on. I'm confused, I wanted to limit myself to 2 POVs, also leaving some of characters' psychology and motivations more obscure. Any advice?Thanks

There are tools you can use to transmit information that happens off-screen, if you’re dedicated to sticking with just the two POVs, and if you can pull them off, your story may wind up stronger for it, but they do take a bit of practice and refinement, so have patience if they feel clunky at first.

I first suggest making a time line of the events characters experience, marking those that are shared experiences and those that aren’t. Make special note of scenes that would take place off-screen in relation to the two perspectives you intend to use. Once you have that list, you have to decide how important these moments are to put on-screen. Some scenes feel like they have to be there for the audience to understand what’s going on, but in reality, what’s important may be how the encounter impacts the character later in things like the decisions they make or the conversations they have or the emotional arc they go through. These kinds of things can be shown on-screen even if the event itself isn’t. This will give you a good idea of how much and what kinds of narrative information you’re trying to get across.

Conversation: For some things that happen off-screen, it may be an event that the character wouldn’t keep to themselves, or they’ll divulge the interaction when it becomes relevant to what’s going on.

If it’s something a character might not be inclined to talk about easily, they may have an emotional reaction to something later that seems disproportionate to what’s going on at the moment; a friend may ask them later what’s going on, at which point they may be more willing to share it.

It’s a bit of second-hand storytelling that, when handled in a natural way rather than in an info-dump-type of scene, can do wonders for character arcs and withholding any information you may not want to share right away.

Later Introductions: For those characters who like to wander off and do their own thing for a while, you have to decide whose story you’re telling. I bring it up all the time because it’s one of the most prevalent things that causes writers to feel like they need to include scenes that aren’t actually relevant to the character’s story you’re telling (characters’ stories if it’s multiple POV).

Yes, these characters going off and doing other things are having experiences that could be told narratively, and the impacts of those experiences will impact the story you’re telling now, but if they’re not an intended POV character, they’re probably not a crucial moment to show on-screen.

The part that’s important to this story is the people they meet and the decisions they make along their own journey, so when they return to the group, or when one of the people they meet comes back to interact with your POV folks, that’s your chance to tell the audience anything you need to about what happened off-screen.

It’s as simple as a character coming into town, meeting up with your POV group and saying, “I met [So-and-so] while I was [doing a thing] and it seemed like I might be able to help,” and then building up that character throughout the rest of the story so they don’t simply seem like they’ve come out of the blue. This works particularly well when you have a scene where you let the audience know that the character is going away with some kind of purpose. Then, when a new character enters later claiming to have met the character who left, your audience doesn’t suffer from any surprise–they knew this could happen.

Dealing With Impacts: Whenever something happens, reverberations of those actions spiral out in metaphorical shockwaves. It could be something as simple as a rumor or a headline in a newspaper; it could be an influx of new people in a town fleeing something; it could be a character’s worry over someone they know; it could be a character arriving back late when they were expected earlier. It could also be something bigger like an impending war or invasion, a literal natural disaster like an earthquake or a disturbed volcano, or even a shift in a political decision.

You can show that something happened off-screen by highlighting the fallout from it that your characters have to deal with. “But it was a secret meeting!” Okay, sure, but someone was there, and someone will be changing, ramping up, or gearing down whatever they were doing before in a way that hints to your characters that something happened and your characters will have to deal with that.

Restructuring: Obviously this isn’t any writer’s preference, but I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You have to be willing to be flexible with your story. Take another hard look at who is experiencing what and what’s important to your story.

Often times, if you’re telling a plot-focused narrative, you’re not telling a person’s story, you’re telling the story of a series of events, so it’s not uncommon to need more POVs for those types of stories. Character-focused narratives, however, should be telling someone’s story, so you’re focused not on what’s going on to other people, but to those individuals. It narrows what appears on-screen and what comes flying in from the sidelines as shrapnel that your character has to deal with as a part of their journey.

If that’s not how you want to handle a scene, then you’ll have to figure out how to get a POV character into that scene. Why is it one of these others is dealing with it? Why can’t a POV character hear about it from another source? What kinds of repercussions of that event would a POV character have to deal with that would help put the event into the narrative without being on-screen?

Always be willing to restructure your story if you can’t get what you want/need to work within your framework. That may even mean changing who your POV characters are. You shouldn’t choose someone’s perspective solely because that person’s voice is fun to write–their journey should own a part of the story.

As a last resort, consider looking into omniscient narrative. It doesn’t mean you have to move any further back from your characters’ voices (aside from eliminating 1st person narration). Omniscient third person point of view allows you to decide how much of a character’s voice and opinions you get by adjusting the psychic distance of the metaphorical camera of the point of view. If you want to continue to be able to share internal thoughts, you can do that–and now you can do it across the board for all your characters.

How you approach your conundrum is up to you, but there are options out there. Think outside the typical box that says everything significant must happen on-screen and experiment with how your characters gain information. Good luck! -Pear

[pocketbf-arc]

(Seungcheol 1/4) Soyoung shook her head no, “No... probably the second time maybe. The first time it was by accident.” She mumbled lowly, her cheeks still felt hot, even with the fire so close to her. She drew on the sand silently. “I can't explain it, you were just interesting. The way you blended in with the humans. The way you presented yourself. You were with friends at that time I'm assuming...” -🐉

(Seungcheol 2/4) She glanced up, almost as if she was remembering right then and there they day she first saw him. “You were laughing and smiling. Didn't think demons could laugh and smile.” Not like that at least. She glanced at him, maybe she shouldn't have told him? Maybe it was some weird fate that she saw him and some weird fate that they ended up in a situation like this. Yet, her memories of those days before the event were gone. -🐉(Seungcheol 3/4) “It was sort of refreshing. Like, even bad guys could take a break. No offense. Even though in my opinion your kind is doing a better job than we are. You punish those who deserve to be punished. And the good humans that go to hell are pampered, they get to live their life as if they didn't die. Like a simulation.” She really needed to shut up now. She moved the log a bit back to make more room between her and the fire. -🐉(Seungcheol 4/4) Laying on the ground as she draped the blanket over herself. “I'll shut up now...” She closed her eyes, not realizing at first how exhausted she really was. She fell asleep almost instantly. -🐉

Seungcheol was barely able to process her story much less respond before it was being put to bed – figuratively and literally. He watched as she made herself comfortable on the floor by the fire, eyes shutting and falling asleep, her mouth opening a bit to allow deeper breathes the moment she began to dream. The demon watched her from where he crouched by the fire, a twig between both his hands, gently breaking it into unnecessarily smaller bits before throwing them into the fire; giving his hands something to do while his mind ran a mile a minute. There were so many unanswered questions to her story, so many different things he had to sit on for the rest of the night, allow his endless imagination to come to conclusions – and even when morning hit, would any of his questions get solved? Would she be willing to indulge in something she found so embarrassing for another time? Would she even remember more to the story, enough that would feed his endless curiosity? There was no knowing when it came to the sleeping girl in front of him, there was no way to know what she was withholding from him or what she genuinely couldnt remember; it was terrifying to think about all the open ended situations he was left with when he was left to take care of this rebellious angel. He sighed deeply, throwing the last of the stick he was tossing into the fire before he was pushing himself to stand with a soft groan, going over to the  bag she had discarded before sleeping and grabbing the other blanket from it. He sat down by the log closest to her sleeping body, leaning his back against the log and putting the blanket over his lap, arms crossed over his chest, just watching her, wondering what was beyond those innocent eyes. And like that, he was falling asleep gradually.