#i'm tryna make sure i've seen all that i can see before i head to the spider area

[zincbot]

CHRIST the enemies in dino dig hit hard

[astrophileous]

currently i just keep thinking of derek talking to little bug while bug is still pregnant and bug thinking it's hilarious but also adorable

OMFG yesss hear me out, I personally think derek persuades bug to move in with him as soon as she comes out of the hospital because her place is trashed during the investigation of her kidnapping (at least that was the excuse derek gave, even tho everyone knows he just wants her around 24/7) and since THAT FIRST NIGHT he's been doing this

Love Bugs Masterlist / Criminal Minds Masterlist

You awoke to the sound of gentle whispers against your stomach.

This wasn't the first time that it had happened. You had been waking up in the middle of the night to Derek murmuring things to your belly. The first time it occurred, you kept your eyes shut throughout the whole thing, discreetly listening to the conversation Derek was having with the baby. At first, you thought the whole ordeal was a one-time occurrence, until it had happened again the next night, and the next night, and the next night after that.

This time, it was no different.

"Hey, Little Bug," Derek said softly. "Just checking in. How ya doin'?"

You clenched your jaw to keep the laughter at bay.

Waves of cool air from the AC flowed against the skin of your abdomen, courtesy of Derek rolling your night shirt up to expose the bump that had grown even bigger in the last couple of weeks. You could feel his large hands cupping your belly, seemingly trying to coax a movement from the baby despite Spencer previously telling him that he wouldn't feel anything for at least another month.

"I'm just making sure you're doing okay in there," Derek continued. "Now, I know you've been through a lot for such a small bug, and I know it wasn't easy what you've gone through. But I just wanna say how proud I am that you held your ground through it all."

Your heart stirred at Derek's statement.

"Stay strong and healthy in there, Little Bug. Just gotta hang on there for a few more months and you'll be out in the world. Once you're here, I promise, you won't need to fight for anything else 'cause I'll do that for you. There's a whole lotta people here who can't wait to meet you. Me and your Mama, we can't wait to meet you. So you hang on tight, alright?"

Derek peppered dozens of tiny kisses on your belly. The scracthy sensation of his stubble made your abdomen constrict involuntarily.

"You know," Derek's voice suddenly erupted, "it's rude to eavesdrop in a private conversation."

You opened your eyes to see Derek staring mischievously right at you.

"As long as this baby is still inside of me, privacy is sadly a privilege you can't have, Derek."

Your reply earned an impish grin from him.

"You hear that, Little Bug? That's your Mama for you. A very sneaky--"

"Hey!"

"--impatient--"

"You know I can hear you, right?"

"--and hot-headed woman. But God, if she isn't the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen."

A stealthy smile slipped onto your lips. "You're trying to sweet talk me, Derek?"

"I'm tryna teach our child to appreciate their Mama's beauty." Derek grinned.

Unable to resist the flutters in your stomach anymore, you pulled Derek closer with the collar of his T-shirt before connecting your lips in a deep kiss. His hand creeped up your waist with a touch that burned your body to its core. When the two of you finally pulled apart for air, the fire you saw inside Derek's eyes was unmistakable.

"Hey, Little Bug," Derek said, bending himself down so he was leveled with your belly once more. "I'll get back to you in a sec, yeah? Me and your Mama got some important business to attend to."

[blue-sadie]

So i've seen this edit about quaritch and spider with that song "oh i love it and hate it at the same time, you and i drinking posion from the same vine" and just image it; reader who has an avatar and neteyam as her mate and she told everybody that her mom was na'vi and her dad was an avatar. When lo'ak and neteyam went to save spider they see reader in her human form and she thinks neteyam is dissapointed in her. Her avatar dies and she has to live with neteyam in her human form. The reader thinks he hates her or smtg. I thank you very much if you could write my ideea or just react <3

Sorry this might not be exactly what you wanted but I hope you like it 😁

Our Love Is Pure

Neteyam x Human Reader

Summary: sometimes our thoughts get the best of us causing us either failure or fortune

Warning: music = lyrics, reader death (kind of)

3rd person pov

Neteyam watched the horizon hoping and praying to see Norman's helicopter but every time he does his heart just breaks all over again.

Telling myself I won't go there Oh, but I know that I won't care

You saved him, you pushed him out the way and took the bullet, the bullet that would've killed him but it killed you instead.

He held your avatar as it died he pleaded and begged for eywa to give you another chance you deserved it while he didn't he should have protected you he should have taken it not you.

With each day passing no news or sight of you, his heart arches more and more he struggles to look after himself but what he didn't know it was the same for you.

Tryna wash away all the blood I've spilt This lust is a burden that we both share Two sinners can't atone from a lone prayer Souls tied, intertwined by our pride and guilt There's darkness in the distance

It took norm days just to get you to speak but with each word becomes more shakey, what is supposed to happen between the two of you.

You never really hung out with him in your human form mostly because of safety reasons would he still want to be with you.

Those thoughts were clouding your head most of the day you would spend in your room staring at the way norman says your eyes get duller by the day, your skin has become paler and your body thinner because of the lack of food and water.

From the way that I've been livin' But I know I can't resist it Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time You and I drink the poison from the same vine

Norman didn't know what to do he didn't know if contacting neteyam would help or just make it worse but what pushed him over the edge is when you came stumbling into the kitchen bearly holding yourself up.

You collapsed and he caught you before you hit the floor you blacked out, that was his breaking point they put you onto one of the med beds attaching an iv to your arm and made sure you were stable.

And once they knew you were safe he contacted jake to let him know about the situation and jake could almost say the same was happening there.

Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time Hidin' all of our sins from the daylight From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time

When jake finally told neteyam what happened with you neteyam finally expressed emotion other then sadness and finally did something other then stare out into the open sea.

He tried to get on his ikran but his father and mother tried to stop him and reason with him to stay.

He finally burst and let his emotions out shocking his parents screaming at them that he needs and too see you and how he would be dead without you

Tellin' myself it's the last time Can you spare any mercy that you might find If I'm down on my knees again? Deep down, way down, Lord, I try Try to follow your light, but it's night time Please, don't leave me in the end

He yelled about all the times you were there for him and now he's gonna be there for you, his parents let him go because either he was going back.

The ride was long and terrible his lack of food and sleep was making his ikran nervous and almost crash afew times.

He finally felt relieved when he saw his home land in the distance and he spoke to himself praying that you would hear him, I'm coming baby hold on.

There's darkness in the distance I'm beggin' for forgiveness (ooh) But I know I might resist it, oh Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time You and I drink the poison from the same vine

He dodged the floating rocks and ignored as some ikran riders tried to talk to him as they flew past he didn't care all he cared about was you.

When he landed he could tell something was off when norman came running at him and telling him you need him.

He didn't even let norman finish and dashed into the lab his eyes widening as he saw the many scientists crowed around you.

Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time Hidin' all of our sins from the daylight From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time You and I drink the poison from the same vine

His heart clench and his body began to sway with dizziness he already lost you once and he wasn't gonna lose you again.

He crouched at the head of you bed looking down at your face you and your avatar were almost identical.

He slowly and softly caressed your small face with his fingers as he spoke to you as tears streamed down his face, baby please don't do this to me I can't lose you again.

Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time Hidin' all of our sins from the daylight From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight From the daylight, runnin' from the daylight Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time

He sat there even after the other scientists left he sat there staring at you his hand clenching yours He was to scared to let go.

To scared to lose you, it only took 2 hours before you woke you your face twisted in confusion as you felt someone holding your hand.

It took you a couple minutes to open your eyes but when they did they filled with tears, neteyam tried to hug you but all you did was push him away.

He felt rejected and hurt in till he heard you speak "why are you here" you sniffled he felt confused.

"W-what do you mean baby" he murmured trying to think of reasons you would rejected him.

"Neteyam my avatar is dead" your voice was strained and raspy "what does that have to do with anything" he asked sitting beside your bed.

You didn't know if was joking or just trying to fool you "n-nete i-" "do you think I'd just leave you because your avatar is dead".

It was like he could read my mind, I looked away from him ashamed "yn I fell for you, your beautiful personality not your body" he murmured caressing my face and bringing it to look at his.

"I fell for your clumsiness, your idiotic ideas that always get us into trouble I fell for you" his words drew a quiet giggle from you making him smile.

"I feel for your mind and heart"

Tag.List

@greekgods15

@sweetirilly

[axailslink]

When we're thirty

Riri Williams x poc FEM reader

Summary: Being best friends with Riri is a gift especially when neither of you are aware of your attraction to each other.

Snippet from the fic: “ "she tryna flip these inside out" you grab some of your perfume ignoring riri as you spray it on your wrists, chest, and ankles. Riri watches and waits until you're finished to say "why you spray your ankles?" You smile to yourself and Riri's dead serious now "you better not be ready to give up no cooky tonight bitch did you shave too?" ”

Dating for you is so common and Riri can't be more fucking annoyed in her life about it. "Could you at least act happy for me?" Riri glances up from her phone and shakes her head "absolutely not. I would but seeing as you've dated half the campus now I'm not saying shit." You scoff and put on your necklace "I'm pretty sure that was your way of calling me a whore" Riri nods "your words not mine" you groan and snatch her phone tossing it on her bed "stop being a dick and just be happy for me plesse Ri. You always telling me how I should get with a girl who cares for me as much as I care for them and this girl might be her." Riri nods "I mean maybe... No one else has made it even close to a third date with you. They look at you wrong and you get rid of em aren't you worried people might think you a...how do I say..?" You cock your brow wishing her to say the word you know is forming on her O shaped lips "you best not. I ain't no hoe I ain't just fucking very body not every body gets that luxury okay? You gotta be something special to see me naked. Especially for free." Riri laughs and shakes her head "I must be "something special" because I've seen you inside and out miss Y/n" you roll your eyes and reply "you're my best friend..." Riri nods "exactly and as your best friend I'm telling you this chick is tryna slide in your jeans" you. Can't help but laugh at Riri's terminology "girl what?"

Riri nods pulling on the belt loop of your ripped jeans "she tryna flip these inside out" you grab some of your perfume ignoring riri as you spray it on your wrists, chest, and ankles. Riri watches and waits until you're finished to say "why you spray your ankles?" You smile to yourself and Riri's dead serious now "you better not be ready to give up no cooky tonight bitch did you shave too?" You don't answer Riri's question instead you grab her by her wrist and pull her to you "hug me and see if you can smell this perfume" Riri does as asked and nods but she doesn't let the whole spray thing go away in fact she continues speaking about it as you make your way outside the door and to your car.

🤎💚🤎💚🤎💚🤎💚🤎💚🤎💚🤎💚🤎💚🤎💚

Upon your return it's written all over your face Riri doesn't even have to ask she just grabs a blanket and puts on some cartoons "come here." You do as requested immediately kicking your shoes off and taking your jeans and top off before getting in bed with Riri. "You're going to love this" no she's not she truly hates seeing you sad or upset even if it means she was right "don't say that" "at this point you the only girl I'm vibing with we should get married if we're thirty and still single." Riri laughs and kisses your forehead "you're ridiculous you'd hate fucking me cause I wouldn't let you be on top." You laugh and shake your head "see that right there I ain't no fucking pillow princess you gone get this loving cause you act like you can't be touched but we both know a little something something..." Riri cocks her brow "so what? You saying you could strap me down?" You sit up and nod "fuck yeah I could strap you down and wear you out just saying." Riri bursts into laughter causing you to scoff.

"Wow so you really don't think I could wear you out?" Riri shakes her head as she holds her laugh "man whatever not only that we couldn't get married because you a player you date everybody I'd get jealous." You chuckle and lean your head against her chest "I wouldn't date everyone if you were my girl. Only you. You care too much unlike the girls I be with... You notice the smallest changes I'd have my hands full." Riri finds this the best timing to say "and your mouth" you slap her shoulder and sigh "girl shut the fuck up and cuddle me. Remember I'm heartbroken." Riri opens her legs so you can lay in between on her chest. Riri watches as you fall asleep and shakes her head "when we're thirty."

A/n: ah sweet best friends who secretly yearn for each other but don't want to ruin a good friendship. I think imma make this correlate to the long fic I'm supposed to be posting.

[daryldixonsjizzrag]

An angsty little drabble ab my oc bc I'm feeling depressed as fuck 👍 (send help I'm literally sleeping in my school clothes so that I don't have to get dressed tomorrow morning)

Warnings: prior drug use (heroin), prior self-harm, a whole lotta angst, really crappy writing that's meant to be read slowly, daryl being season 1-3 teenage angst daryl at the start

Pairing: Daryl Dixon and Original female character (my girl Tallulah :) )

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

"What the fuck is this?" Daryl stormed into Tallulah's room from her bathroom, holding up a needle and bloody bandages. "I was just tryna take a piss and I see these!" He shoved them closer to her, eyeing down the track marks on her forearm. No wonder she's been wearing long sleeves lately.

"It's not your business" She said quietly. She knew he'd find them, not that she intended for him to. She was in a near catatonic state as his voice drowned out into the background, merging with all the other sounds, like the air conditioner whirring for example.

"But it is. Tell me what you did." He pushed, clearly pissed. Breaking out in a sweat, Tallulah turned the air conditioner up. She felt so numb that even crying didn't feel like an option.

"Isn't it obvious? I shot my veins with heroin and took a blade to my arm. It's the usual. You already know I've done it before. Fuck, you've seen the scars and track marks. I don't even know why you're surprised" She ranted, biting her cheek when she finished. "Now just chuck those away. I don't wanna see em"

"When did ya do it?" He asked, a softer side coming on. The question made that pit form in her stomach, the one she felt like she could fall in. The one that made her feel a little too human for comfort.

She bit her lip and huffed her answer. "Last night." She was being blunt, but at least she was honest. A tear threatened to fall. If only she could just push it back into her eye, but that was impossible. She made herself smaller, tucking her legs up to her chest and hugging her knees.

Daryl noticed and tossed the used needle and bandages in the bin. "Why?" He asked gently, gliding his hand by her lower back. He hated touch, but he knew she needed it.

"... because I missed it" She murmured. He never really understood, but he had experience with marijuana. He understood the feeling, in his own way.

The silence afterwards wasn't particularly comfortable nor awkward, but it wasn't very inviting either. All she could do was hope that this didn't change things. Being honest was the best choice, so she spoke up.

"Can you tell Rick? I just... feel like he should know..." She said, her voice hardly even a murmur. She studied and watched her fingers, wondering how they moved and how she could do whatever she wanted with them, feeling detached.

"Yeah, I can. You uhh... need anything?" He asked awkwardly, holding the edge of the bed where the seam of the mattress was as he adjusted himself.

"Just some water. My mouth is dry" She knew why it was dry. Of course, the drugs, but her smoking had gone completely out of control. Only she kept it secretive, not wanting to hurt Carl or Sophia, or anyone else for that matter.

"Sure."

More deathly silence filled when he left with the trash can that contained the needle and bandages. She didn't know what to think. She was, of course, sad, but in a way she felt embarrassed.

Daryls footsteps entered the room, and he had some tap water in a glass. "Sorry it doesn't have any ice" He apologised, though there was no need to.

"Don't worry about it" Tallulah noted, taking the glass of water and spilling a little in the process. She stared at the puddle, processing what happened for a moment before she drank, her head going a little too far back, making water dribble from the corners of her mouth and onto her shirt.

She felt the need to apologise, but didn't anyway. It wasn't needed. She handed him the glass and layed down, sprawled out on the bed. The hangover was horrible. The pounding headache, the sickness, the hot flushes, everything about it made her want to die, in a mostly figurative sense.

"I'll go" Daryl made way for the door, hesitating about a yard away from it. He forced himself to leave, ignoring the pull she had on his heartstrings, not wanting to bother her. He knew he'd come back later, though. That was inevitable.

[thattimdrakeguy]

I Can't Think Of A Good Heading.

I saw a Damian stan complain that Tim fans (In fairness I'm definitely included in this type of Tim fan, but for a reason) keep wanting Tim to be short and have a babyface.

It is literally only because (At least in my case) there's so many different times where it's referenced in some way or another. Hell, he was months way from 18-years-old, and he was specified by even a character his own age as looking like a 'cub scout'.

Asking for some consistency is a basic desire when you like a long-lasting character. If they start to lose their consistency, it's hardly the same character anymore. It's why people prefer anime, they will typically keep the same creator so it's almost always consistent. With comics, ya pretty much have to hope someone will give enough of a shit to keep a character consistent.

I'm not sure if it's a trolling effort or what, because I never see anyone really agree with the idea Tim isn't both of those things that's not a total fuck wad to the fictional character Tim Drake.

Also, I think the most annoying part of it is people saying it infantilizes Tim. Infantilizes him. How does it infantilize him? People can be short and look young. It's not about trying to keep him an infant or something, it's literally just how he fucking looks.

Fuck I am literally in my 20s, and I get confused for a 15-year-old on a regular bases. Even at places where I've seen the same people for years, genuinely assumed I been a child the entire time they've known me. They met me when I was 18-years-old, and this still happens years later.

No one is infantilizing me. It's just how I look, and I am fine with it. It's a thing that can happen with people. It's reality. Tim Drake is representing reality, and since he's a natural underdog character it also fits super freaking well for him.

It's rude to say, I am aware, but after a while I think you're just a fucking idiot who has a some kind of unexplainable hatred towards a character you hate having traits you like. While the only time your fav has them is during the era of comics that are known for having shit inconsistencies that directly contradict previously known information.

Not all of them, but the ones I see still pressing this nonexistent issue are those kind. You can always tell by how they talk. The vagueness in which they speak, while thinking they're subtle by bringing up their headcanons as actual canon, when it's obviously not the case. That sort of thing. Their attempts to provide evidence may also be purely by things based in the forever-and-probably-always inconsistent things about comics, such as the art.

Damian is 15-years-old now, has been for a while. And he's taller at this age, than Tim was also at 15-years-old. In the pre-flashpoint timeline (saying there's a difference, because even then I feel like going back on what was said here is out of character, but I'm tryna be a little less strict on what i say), he was only an inch shorter than Tim at their different ages when they met, according to official DC material, even if it didn't seem like it in the art. Damian was ten, while Tim was months away from eighteen.

Tim's just naturally like that, and Damian had his DNA modified to be a warrior. There was even an issue of Batman around that time where it was into a dark future and Damian is an incredibly massive man that was definitely more than the generic 'adult' body artists may give a character seen in the future, before one is figured out for him. Making it a distinct purposeful choice.

And I've rarely seen Damian fan art that didn't make him look eight no matter his age.

In fact Wayne Family Adventures MADE Damian eight, when he's NEVER been eight as an active character in the main universe. People literally made that up in an active effort to infantilize him.

I remember there was even attempts to change the fan wikis to make Tim taller and Damian shorter, but it was changed back because it clearly wasn't the case when you looked at the books.

When I was around more, I was around. I've seen the shit happen.

It's just hypocrisy at it's most obvious.

I've seen this sort of thing many times over the years, and it is now 2023. Why is this still a fucking talking point? There's nothing to talk about, the case has been settled long ago. That's the reason I'm rambling here.

Most of my frustration comes more from how this fandom still does this stuff. I'm a lot calmer in real life than it probably seems. I have a hard time expressing how I actually feel in text, but trust me I'm in a calm mood, that's just dumbfounded.

You're really willing to waste your time, trying to convince people you're really just not a jackass like that?

Nowadays I simply feel bad for people that do it.

And it's not only Damian stans, it's every stan. That was just the post that gave me flashbacks to stuff I seen nearly TEN YEARS AGO now.

I still see Tim stans tryna convince everyone he's a skater-boy stoner, that ran Wayne Enterprises. Given that first part is a little more recent of a debacle, the point still remains.

He has never been that. One arc he was in the skater-crowd for a specific criminal, he hates drugs like a square, and has NEVER ran Wayne Enterprises. Lucious Fox did.

What kind of a fandom wastes time complaining about stuff they do right (Which even then, a lot of art still doesn't bother drawing Tim as anything more than a generic dude), while praising stuff that breaks what there was before?

Do you really like this stuff then?

If you have to change so much stuff to suit your desires. Why are you even here?

[sailorshadzter]

Taylor Swift Lyrics That Convince Me She's a Jonsa

feel free to send as writing prompts <3

The rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming color

We were built to fall apart, then fall back together

When the sun came up, you were lookin' at me

Long night, with your hands up in my hair, echoes of your footsteps on the stairs

And you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

My love had been frozen, deep blue, but you painted me golden

You said there was nothing in the world that could stop it

I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us

He built a fire just to keep me warm

Trust him like a brother, yeah, you know I did one thing right

Starry eyes sparking up my darkest night

Slowly I said, "You don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?"

I'm always waiting for you to be waiting below

Said, "I'm fine," but it wasn't true, I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you

And I snuck in through the garden gate, every night that summer just to seal my fate

Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Help me hold on to you

I search for your dark side

I wake in the night, I pace like a ghost

It's you and me, there's nothing like this

And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I see you everywhere

Tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch

Quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

I know heaven's a thing, I go there when you touch me, honey

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you

I've been sleeping so long in a twenty-year dark night

I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked

Maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down

I once believed love would be (black and white), but it's golden (golden)

You drew stars around my scars, but now I'm bleeding

Marked me like a bloodstain, I knew you

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss

I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs

And I knew you'd come back to me

I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending

Like you'd get your knuckles bloody for me

Those eyes add insult to injury

There is no amount of cryin' I can do for you

All this time, we always walked a very thin line

And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too

And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home

And I still talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky

I know they said the end is near

I'm still a believer but I don't know why

I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me

Whispers of "Are you sure?" "Never have I ever before"

With you, I fall down

But you dream of some epiphany, just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you've seen

But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm

I am ash from your fire

You knew it still hurts underneath my scars

Wherever you stray, I follow

Head on the pillow, I could feel you sneaking in

Show me the places where the others gave you scars

Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Your opal eyes are all I wish to see

My house of stone, your ivy grows and now I'm covered in you

It's a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it

It's the goddamn fight of my life and you started it

I see you every day now

I feel you, no matter what

And I wake with your memory over me

And time can't stop me quite like you did

My hand was the one you reached for

And maybe it's the past that's talking

[mxtcha-tea]

domestic shiratorizawa

⊹summary; the life inside the dorms of shiratorizawa

⊹pilots; gn![y/n], ushijima, tendou, semi, yamagata, reon, kawanishi, shirabu, goshiki (pairings showed; yamagata x reader, goshiki x reader)

⊹genre; fluff, crack and some cursings (no proofread)

⊹flight details; i've once made a domestic imagines in my old blog so imma make a small reboot of it <3

random shopping

normal day, normal life. you could've seen yourself laying or even napping in your room while a compilation of minecraft songs plays in the background. but no. instead, you're inside an antique shop with Yamagata, Ushijima and Tendou.

you have no idea when, or how did the process happened but you surely is done with getting dragged inside the shop by Tendou and Yamagata.

while Ushijima's stuck on a section, you don't know where, but he's definitely stuck there, "[y/n]! look at what i found,"

Yamagata called you as you turned around to see him holding up a pretty heavy doll. you raise your brow, "what the hell is that?" walking towards him and taking a closer look at the object in hand,

"i think it's a, um, i think a matryoska doll? matroyska? is that how you say it?" "why're you asking me, i don't know jack shit about russian stuff,"

"ah you mean, matryoshka doll?" Tendou butted in, startling you two, "it's also called a 'nesting doll' and did you actually know that it was actually originated from china?"

Yamagata's eyes practically sparkled at that with a surprised look, "from china? really?"

you can only roll your eyes, "and how can you even know all that?" Tendou snickered and put on a smug face, "i'm actually very smart, y'know. ya'll just don't know about it," "says the person in class 2,"

"i blame the mathematic old hags for adding letters in math, and the apple that fucking hit my man Isaac," you tsk'ed and walk towards the next section. Yamagata passive aggressively put the matryoshka doll down and follow after you along with Tendou,

"also, we need to find ushijima, i think he's stuck in some section between here...ah there," you stopped walking and turn to your right where you find Ushijima reading a book.

Tendou skipped towards him and smack his shoulder, "you okay, wakatoshi-kun? you sure did took longer to look at the stuff here," while Tendou chats with Ushijima, Yamagata look up at the shelves as something caught his eyes.

he tried to reach it while tip toing but due to his height, he can't reach it. then, he jumped from his spot to grab the object but end up hitting his head onto the board, "AGH, FUCK!" which causes you all to look at him, watching him hold his head while shivering from the pain,

"are you okay, yamagata?" ushijima ask, putting back the book on the shelves, "yeah, yeah, i'm just tryna get that," he shakes his head before pointing up.

you followed his finger and caught a glimpse of an old polaroid. it's a little bit dusty but other than that, it looks new. Ushijima reached it from his spot and managed to grab it, "here,"

he hands it to Yamagata as he instantly recovered from his recent pain and snatch it from Ushijima's hand, subtly thanking him with a grin, "why do you even need a polaroid?" Tendou asked, leaning his arm over Ushijima's shoulder with one brow up,

"pfft, for journaling of course,"

a gust of wind went through you while staring at him with a poker face, the same with Tendou with a small cat like smile. Ushijima just looked the same,

"okay," "WHAT'S WITH THE TONE??" you blinked and just knit your eyebrows, "i mean, since when you started journaling? you're not even the type of person to do something aesthetic,"

he pouted and just crosses his arms, "so what? that doesn't mean i can't do it, right? have faith in me god darn it. and honestly, my journal looks good so far," "well, fine,"

you waved your hand at him and continue going through the other section. and just like that, "hey wait!" Yamagata tailed after you.

Tendou snickered at the two and focus back on Ushijima, who's still watching the display yet again, "have you thought of what to buy wakatoshi-kun?" "i'm not sure, there's a lot of interesting stuff here," "well, you've only been in this section but okay~"

studying

"agh, why did those idiots really have to call me at this time...?"

you groaned, slowly walking through the halls with a slouched figure. tracing your fingers along the wall with a dejected look. you're suppose to sleep today.

an hour or two long sleep. it's finally the weekend which means the time for you to sleep all of your problems away. drifting into slumber with fluffy pillows and warm blankets, enjoying your dream as long as you can.

until your ringtone annoyingly rings next to your ear. you answer the call, and again greeted by the most annoying human in the planet,

"[y/n], we need you at the gym right now!"

"huh? oh fuck off Tendou, i need to sleep right now,"

"nuh uh, you can sleep later after you go to the gym,"

"why? are you, i don't know, practicing or something?"

"you have to find out. if you don't move your ass from that bed, we'll send Hayato to wake you up~"

". . ."

and now, you find yourself standing in front of the door of shiratorizawa's volleyball gym. not only that Tendou wakes you up from your sleep, you also had to WALK all the way from your dorm to the gym,

"i'm gonna add more time to their practices after this..."

sliding the door open, you expect them to be doing serves or maybe spikes.

but instead, you're seeing them—as in the 3rd years—all sitting down at the middle of the court, with books around them.

and what's even more confusing is that they somehow managed to bring a table inside. no, not the flip-able table.

literally a whole ass table.

Reon looks up from his book and notices your figure standing on the door way. he waves his hand at you, you did the same but still with a confused look.

Yamagata was next to see you as he abruptly stand up from his spot, shaking the table in the process,

"Hayato! stop shaking the table," "oops, sorry. ah, wait, [y/n]!"

that caught all of the boys attention as they look at you, "what taking you so long to arrive?" Tendou asked, a pen rested in between his upper lip and nose.

Semi smacked him in the face—earning an 'ow'—before shaking his head,

"their dorm is literally far from the gym, and why do you even proposed your idea of studying at the gym anyway?"

you make your way towards them, Reon patting the empty spot next to him. you sat down on your spot as Yamagata did the same. seemed like he was waiting for you.

Tendou rubbed his nose and pouted at Semi, "this was the best place to study anyway! it have much more room,"

"we should've gone to the cafeteria OR the LIBRARY," Semi groaned, looking back at his book before writing on it,

"pfft, the cafeteria's no fun. and i got banned from the library," Reon looks at Tendou with confusion, "well, it's not surprising,"

Tendou shrugged, "i was also banned from the library," Ushijima said, not looking up from his notes as you knit your eyebrows at that,

"you're also banned from the library? Satori, what did you and Ushijima did—" "anyways, um,"

he cut you off, fidgeting with his pen before pointing it at you, "right, you need to tutor us on this subject~!"

you blinked, looking down at the book they're studying about, "haven't the teacher covered this already?"

"well, i'm sorry, class 6. but we have no idea how this thing works. maybe only Reon, but look at Semi,"

Tendou wrapped his arm around Semi's neck, practically head locking him, "he's from class 1 and i think you should teach him about this the most," "I'll rip your fucking head off, Tendou!"

while both of them tried to strangle each other, Yamagata caught your attention next,

"and also, it won't be fun without you, y'know," Reon nodded, "and don't forget that you can't leave me alone in this,"

"oh right," "hm? what was that?" Yamagata asked. you just shake your head with a defeated smile, "nothing..."

after clearing your throat, you snatched Semi's book away before flipping through the pages,

"okay you scumbags, it's time to learn,"

oblivious enough

the birds chirped from the tree, the hallway's as loud as ever. Semi and Tendou's leaning against the window, each of them drinking apple juice and eating yakisoba bread.

it was silence between them before Semi spoke, "hey, Tendou," "yes Semi-Semi?" "y'know,"

Semi turned his head to look at Tendou as the redhead did the same, "have you, noticed the relationship between [y/n] and Yamagata lately?"

the latter made a thinking face, before nodding, "hm, seems so,"

"do you think, either one of them ever noticed about it?" Tendou shakes his head at the question, "nope, i don't think they do. in fact, they might be completely oblivious to it,"

Semi snickered, "right, like that one time..."

"[y/n], do you think my lips are dry right now?"

you look up from your clipboard, seeing Yamagata pointing his lips, "hm, nah. they're fine, but if you want, i can but on some lip balm,"

his eyes sparkled at that as he nodded his head with excitement, "sure!" you walk towards your bag with Yamagata following you. opening the zipper and search inside it, you pull out your lip balm,

"here, hold still," you put a hand on his cheek while the other applies lip balm onto his lips. it was a slow process but he managed to not move at all while making eye contact with you.

once you finished applying, he pop his lips before humming, "mn, cherry," "let me know if you need anything else,"

he nodded with now flushed cheeks as he smile at you. you did the same, gently patting his arm.

from a distance, Shirabu looks at them with a disgusted look, "ugh, can't they be more subtle about it,"

Kawanishi shrugged, "just let them be,"

"how can i redo my memory? i don't need to see that this early," "well, what if it was us?" "i would be twice as grossed, i can put my own lip balm," "hm yeah, you're right, i honestly would be like that too," "good,"

"haha yeah, now that i think about it, they do it all the time right?" Tendou nodded at Semi's statement before hearing the all too familiar voice just a few meters away from them,

"[y/n]!"

you turned your head around while still sipping your drink. Yamagata stood in front of you, holding out his visibly crumpled necktie with a small smile,

"my necktie!" "ah again? whatever," you give your drink to him as he hold it for you.

grabbing the necktie from his hand, looping it around his collar shirt and started tying it with a concentrated look,

"i can't say that it'll be clean when i finished tying it," "it's okay! that's why i'm asking you to do it, messy or not, at least i have it on," "hm, yeah,"

after you finished tying it and patting it a little, Yamagata hugged you, "thank you!" "yeah, you're welcome,"

the aura literally radiates on the slightly crowded hallway as some of the students who passed you talked among themselves.

Semi and Tendou stared at you two, expressionless eyes but with a small smile,

'ah, right,'

Tendou sighed, intertwining his fingers together and lifting it up to his cheeks, "ah, young love~"

"we're all the same age,"

"young love~"

bonus; reliable kouhai

lifeless.

is what goshiki would say when he took a few glances at you from his book. you promised to tutor him about this subject he's struggling on. but didn't really expect to see your slouched form walking inside the library.

he's not even sure if you even hear anything you're saying right now, "get a shovel and two-" your head hit the table, creating a loud sound and catching the attention of almost everyone inside the library,

"[y/n]-senpai, um, are you okay??" you groaned and rapidly blink your eyes, covering your forehead, "yeah, 'm just..."

a yawn escaped from your mouth before you can even finish your sentence, "...tired. those stupid senpais of yours need help tutoring too even tho being grown ass men,"

goshiki closes his book and creating a small 'thump', snapping you out from your mind,

"well, if that so then you didn't have to come, you could've just tell me and i would be fine with it!" your hoarse laugh caught him off guard as a shade of red ran across his cheeks, "i can't break a promise, tsutomu. why do you even think i agree on tutoring you?"

"uh, cause you want to help me with my studies?" "one of it, and cause i enjoy tutoring you," he can feel his cheeks heating up more when you made eye contact with him, a small smile laced upon your face,

"and honestly, you're smarter than i thought. class 4 right? that's cool," he looked away, trying to calm his nerves down, "t-thanks! a lot of people thought i was in a lower class, so i, i appreciate it,"

goshiki took a peek at you, now burying your face onto your face, "also, senpai," "hm?"

"you should take a nap for now, i think i can start understanding this formula," you slightly look up at him, "you sure? i was prolly talking craps just now," "yeah! your health is more important anyway,"

you hum, offering him a warm smile, "thanks, i know i can count on you," you rested onto your side and close your eyes. lips slightly parted and just like that, you're deep in your dreams.

he pursed his lips, slowly leaning against the table to look at your face. it's calm, peaceful and beautiful, kissable lips. he wonder if he could lean in a little closer until you two-

goshiki instantly jolted up and hit himself on the head, face's covered in the color red, 'no! don't think about that, curse you Tendou-San for introducing me to those mangas...'

Tendou's faces ran across his mind as he grunted,

'why're they so pretty??'

[8uggestionamplifie6]

I've been thinking. Would Anakin and Padme actually be good parents?????

Like, think about this realistically.

Anakin already has a kark ton of problems. For one, he does NOT know how to love unpossessively. Two, he is already super controlling and kinda toxic(?).

If he leaves the Jedi Order to be with Padme and the twins, he would never learn the difference between attachment and love.

(And yes there is a freaking difference. Love is when you care about someone to the point where you want them to be happy, even if it's not with you. Attachment is when you 'love' someone so much that you can't stand the thought of that person being with someone else that isn't you. There is a very clear difference. Even George Lucas said it in a few interviews.)

Like, I'm pretty sure Obi-Wan tried to teach Anakin the difference, but Anakin just never understood it or didn't want to accept it. Anakin wasn't raised in the Temple. He wasn't taught Jedi beliefs and the difference between love and attachment on a daily basis by the creche masters. Instead, he had been freed from slavery, separated from his mother, Qui-Gon got killed, and he experienced a MASSIVE culture shock once he was accepted into the Temple, and he had been paired with an (although good) unwilling master AKA Obi-Wan who only accepted Anakin as his student because of Qui-Gon's final words.

Yes, I know, they do eventually develop an actual strong relationship, but the main reason Obi-Wan fought for Anakin to become his padawan in the first place was because of Qui-Gon. The only reason why Anakin was even accepted into the Order was because of Qui-Gon and later, Obi-Wan's insistence to keep his promise to Qui-Gon.

(Also? Really Qui-Gon? You had nothing to say to your Padawan who was basically your son? Even when you appeared in the Clone Wars, you hardly even cared about Obi-Wan, you just obsessing over Anakin. Like, I get that he's the 'Chosen One' or whatever, but I don't care. You don't treat your apprentice/son like that. And then you had the audacity to force a guilty and crying Obi-Wan who was holding your dying body to promise to train Anakin Skywalker, who Obi-Wan didn't even like for that matter? Like? Bish, you ungrateful nerfherder.)

As I said, Anakin doesn't understand how to love like securely and non-possessively. He was probably taught it by Obi-Wan and the rest of the Jedi, but that information clearly went through one ear and straight out the other.

Maybe Anakin would be a good parent for the first few years of Leia and Luke's lives, but the moment puberty hits? BAM! Helicopter parent right there!

This mainly concerns Leia because in Anakin's mind, she's a girl, she's not a trained force-sensitive, so she can't protect herself, and she's HIS daughter, she shouldn't do this or that, she can't have this or that. She can't have male friends, she can't hang out with any guys, etc. Because Anakin doesn't want Leia to not spend time with him or not be there constantly. He's controlling and he wants to control her life. Like I said, she is HIS daughter, not her own person (scroll all the way to the bottom for an explanation). He'd likely refuse to let Leia go to any parties, talk to any boys, or even have a basic social life.

Things might be a little different for Luke. Anakin might not be as controlling but will still be controlling to some degree.

Moreover, Padme would NOT reign him in or even stop him. She's already shown in AOTC and ROTS that she is perfectly willing to make excuses for any and all of Anakin's bad terrible decisions even though the evidence is right there in front of her face.

Like, she seriously tryna make me believe that killing a ton of innocent people in the Tusken village is good? Sure, maybe SOME of them might have deserved it, but all of them? No, they didn't, especially not the poor innocent kids. Like, Padme, is you good in thy head or not? You ain't see no red flags?🚩🚩🚩 anybody?

Also, in ROTS, she knows that Anakin is fully capable and willing to kill innocent people if he believes someone he loves is in danger/dead, but when Obi-Wan tells her what Anakin did in the Temple to the Younglings, she tryna act all slick like, "I don't be knowing what you talkin about", even though she clearly does. She seen Anakin confess what he did to the Tuskens and now she tryna lie? And on her death bed, she tryna convince me and Obi-Wan that Darth Vader is still good, like, did the dude NOT just strangle you and kill a bunch of innocent people?

I may be dumb, but I'm not THAT dumb, okay? I understand what murder is. Anakin just straight up shanked all of the Jedi in the Temple with the 501st.

Like, bruh, I get you smart and all, Padme, and you a senator and all, but I don't know if have any more brain cells than I do money when it comes to Anakin. And I have 0 dollars right now.

So, like, no, I don't think Padme would stop Anakin in the slightest. She'd probably make more excuses for him, like "that's how he shows his love for you" or "just get over it, Leia" or even "he's your father, let him do what he wants".

In short, the freaking helicopter parenting would continue and Luke and Leia are gonna be trapped because they ain't no trained Jedi. They can't do shit and they are still minors.

Leia/Luke might even run away from home or even Fall (*extreme case**very extreme and unlikely but still possible*) 'cause they are force-sensitive y'know.

Freaking Court might even get involved. Some lawyers might also be called up. Luke and Leia better make sure to dial the numbers of some therapists for their parents, too, and also maybe a mind healer. Neither of your parents are straight in their heads.

Anyways, none of yall gotta agree with me 'cause this is just my opinion, but at least look at it from my point of view first before you hate on me in the comments. Like, I really hope that Anakin and Padme would be good parents but I just don't see it working out (????).

I hghly recommend this fanfic for any interested reader. It explains the problems of helicopter parenting from Anakin very nicely, so please read it. Also, please read some of the comments.

There's more!!! ⬇️⬇️⬇️

Let me share something:

"A desperate parent hovers; a good parent guides."

Every parent needs to learn to let go of their kids eventually. The kids are going to leave the nest sooner or later and the parent needs to understand this.

Maybe, during the first 15 years or so, the parent can hover, but once that kid starts wanting to be independent, you gotta start giving that kid some space.

Like a bird, they gotta spread their wings and they can't do that if they stay cooped up in the nest for the rest of their lives. No baby bird is gonna fly immediately after they gain their wings and feathers. They gotta stretch them out first, do a few practice runs, and then they'll finally know how to fly.

Same thing for your kids. If they want independence but you know that they can't handle it yet, just give it to them. They gotta learn somehow. They gotta practice. And you just gotta be there to catch them if they fall.

You can stop hovering and instead start guiding. Because your son/daughter isn't just YOUR child anymore—they're becoming their own person and you need to realize and accept that. They're becoming an adult and your equal, so you gotta stop treating them like they're just your kid. Bc they're both your kid and their own person and you gotta realize that.

You can't keep your kids in the nest forever. Sooner or later, they're gonna rebel against your hovering and they'll cut you out of their lives bc you're being a toxic influence on them and they know it. Then, despite all your desperate hovering to keep your kids safe and in the nest, YOU are going to be the reason why your kids don't want you in their lives anymore.

You just gotta let go.

Yes, you can hover like a desperate parent for the first ten and a half years of your kids' lives, but eventually you're gonna have to stop doing that. Because they aren't dumb ten year olds anymore that need your constant hovering. Now they're teens and now they're adults who are experiencing the real world.

And the only thing you can do is accept that your kid has grown up. Or they will grow up. Or they are growing up.

You just need to cross the line from hovering to guiding.

You gotta let go of the bike sometime and let your kid ride on their own without the training wheels.

You just gotta cross that line. Maybe it'll be a little hard, but when was parenting ever easy? I know that it'll hurt to have to let your kids go, but you just gotta trust them.

You have already spent the last nearly two decades loving them, caring for them, and teaching them all you know. You just have to hope that they'll keep your lessons and teachings close to their hearts and that they'll listen to the occasional advice or two.

You just gotta trust your kid and your parenting skills, and cross that line.

Your son/daughter has become their own person. And the only thing you can do is be there for them, be ready to support them, be ready to give some of your wisdom, and trust that they'll succeed.

For helicopter parents, however, they never cross that line between hovering and guiding, and I'm not sure Anakin would be able to either.

[crimsonfic]

Kim Namjoon Fanfiction (Insecurity)

Another “in between” chapter

Namjoon POV

I shook my head as I watched our dance practice videos. I was going on my 11th video of the day.

I mess up all of our routines.

Growing tired of seeing myself I clicked a random video that was suggested to me.

By the time it was over my head was spinning.

Am I really the odd one out? Not as fun as the others? Lame? A dad?

I watched the next video that popped up.

According to some fans I'm the least attractive.

Time was just flying by and before I knew it (y/n) was home from work.

"Hey baby." She said as walked over to me at our desk.

"Hey, how was work?" I turned in the chair to greet her but she stopped in her tracks.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?" She asked quickly.

"No, why do you ask?"

"You look.....upset? Are you okay?" She came to me and then knelt down in front of me.

"Yeah I guess I'm just tired, I've been online for quite some time." I ran my hands down my face.

When I looked back at (y/n) she was looking at me intently.

"What have you been doing online?"

"Just watching videos about us and of us." I answered. Then I reached out grabbing her hands and pulling her up from the floor and into my lap. "Now, how was work?" I asked again.

"It was okay. Nothing major happened so that's good, just kids wanting to get out of class claiming to have a stomach ache. So I would tell them they would have to eat black licorice to help their pain and of course they were all magically fine. Haha." She laughed.

"Black licorice huh? Is that really a thing?"

"I'm not sure." She laughed harder.

Now I was laughing with her.

"You're silly. I'm glad you had a good day though, and got to relax."

"Thanks. I would say the same for you but clearly you're stressed. So spill."

"It's nothing baby."

Unexpectedly she turned us towards the computer and looked at the screen. I covered my eyes with one hand as she read the description.

"Babyyyyy..." She began but I cut her off knowing what she was gonna say.

"I know, I know, I'm not supposed to watch these kinds of videos but I couldn't help it. Do you know people think I'm the most boring one?"

She got up off of my lap and turned to face me. I frowned at our lack of contact.

"Who cares what they think. They're the lames one online talking about you."

"But no baby, they say I don't laugh as much as the others, I'm a Debby downer whatever that is, I'm like a stressed out dad, I'm the least attractive-"

"Whoa Whoa Whoa, stop right there. That is a lie and a half! You're so....you're so..."

"See." I said, playing with her just a bit. I know that she's just trying not to get worked up.

"No, you're so sexy! Have they not seen the dozens of pictures of you just standing there in all of your glory and thickness?"

I covered my mouth to hide my amusement as I sat back and listened to her. I'm not gonna lie, she was already making me feel so much better, just by calling me sexy.

"You're like the "dad" because you're the leader and you're always looking out for your guys, there's nothing wrong with that and it's not an insult. So whoever is tryna make it a bad thing is stupid and can kiss your butt! You're no where near a Debby downer so I won't even go there, though I need to say that they are just reading your protectiveness wrong. Now this lame talk is absolutely absurd, why did they say you were lame?"

"Well one of-"

"They don't even know you! You're not lame at all. Because you focus on your music? Because you read? Because you write? Because you're not obnoxious? You're a hard worker, a dedicated hard worker that loves his music and peace of mind. That's not lame. It's admirable. They're a bunch of hating donkey butts so you have to ignore them. Haters hate and rats squeak. F them."

"Rats squeak?"

"I don't know, it just came out. But did you hear me? Forget them Namjoon. You have to ignore that stuff."

I smiled at the woman before me. She was so supportive and she's definitely cheered me up. I feel foolish even letting negativity get me down.

Standing up from the desk chair I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her.

"Thank you." I told (y/n). "I will ignore them from now on."

"Good." She stood on her top toes and kissed my cheek. "Now, I'll go cook dinner. Did you thaw the stuff out like I asked?"

"Of course sweetheart." I pulled her in once more before letting her go.

"Thank you." She replied before walking into the kitchen.

I sat down back at the desk and decided I play some games or something.

——————

I was putting her dishes into the dishwasher while (y/n) wipes the island counters clean.

"Baby?"

"Yes?" She asked.

"Out of all of the guys, I'm the worst cook. Even Tae is more trusted in the kitchen than me."

"Well, I trust you in our kitchen more than I trust baby Tae. And I thought you said you were gonna ignore them? Did you get back online?"

I turned to face her. "Yes." I mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

I cleared my throat. "Yes."

The sponge came flying at me.

"Namjoon!"

"I knooooow. I'm sorry but-"

"No buts. That's it. Go to our room."

I laughed but followed her orders after placing the sponge back at the sink.

Shortly after, (y/n) walked into our room too. I was sitting on the end of our bed flipping through the channels.

I was so focused on finding something good to watch I didn't notice (y/n) in front of me until I felt her yank at my sweatpants.

"What are you doing?" I asked and grabbed my pants to stop her from pulling them further.

"You're feeling down and I have to cheer you up." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

She was gonna be the death of me. I exploded into laughter.

"Nice try." I said.

"Stop playing Namjoon, this is different."

"No it's not. We're still not doing that."

"But I'm ready!" With her tone I was halfway expecting her to pout and stomp her foot on the ground.

"No you're not."

"Yes I am, you know I am."

"Do I need to sleep on the couch tonight?"

She sighed but got up off the floor before quickly walking into the bathroom.

When she came out almost 20 minutes later I walked in after her.

Finished with my shower and ready for bed I walked to my side of the bed and pulled the covers back.

(Y/n) was completely naked.

I should've known.

I got into bed anyway and laid my usual way.

Just a few seconds later (y/n) snuggled into me, the way we sleep every night.

I wrapped my arms around her and closed my eyes. She thought that being naked was gonna break me but I'm gonna show her that it's not.

Seeing that I wasn't fazed by her lack of clothing she started leaving those damn kisses on my neck.

Knowing that she was being more adamant and bold than usual I didn't even bother telling her to stop because it would be wasted breath.

I crossed my legs.

"Why'd you do that?"

"You know why. Go to sleep sweetheart."

"You know-"

"Nope."

"I didn't eve-"

"Nope."

"Joon st-"

"Nope, Goodnight."

She sighed deeply before just laying her head down.

"Love you."

"Nope Goodnight." She said.

I laughed.

Very funny, but at least I won.

********

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Injury | Insecurity | Part 4

[carbo-ships]

Jealous

Soldagand's hand hasn't grown back yet and that makes it a little difficult to shave.

Part 39 [Soldagand x Carly Masterlist]

"Would you mind givin' me a hand with somethin', pumpkin?" Soldagand asked Carly while they were cleaning up from dinner one night in his tree.

"What's up?"

"I wanna tidy up my beard, but cleanin' up my edges takes two hands," he explained. "Would you be willin' to help me out if I taught you how?"

She seemed hesitant. "I mean, I can sure try. But are you sure? I don't know how I feel about using a knife on your face."

He chuckled. "You're not gonna hurt me, if that's what you're worried about. You don't gotta line it up real clean or nothin' if you're too nervous, I just want the stragglers off my checks. And I can handle my neck on my own. Here, lemme find my razor real quick and I'll explain." He ducked out of the room for a few minutes and soon re-emerged with a straight razor, a handheld mirror, a small rag, and what Carly could only assume was some sort of shaving cream.

"Come to think of it, I'm not sure I've ever seen you shave," she mused aloud.

"I usually don't have to. Not in the summer, at least. But my whole body's tryna heal itself, so I've started gettin' a little bushy." Soldagand led her to one of his kitchen chairs and sat down in it so that she could see his face more easily. "You're gonna wanna pull my skin taught, like this," he demonstrated. He slowly walked her through everything she needed to know--the angle of the blade, how hard to press down, the direction she should go, where she should stop. "That sound alright?"

"I think I can handle that, yeah."

"Wonderful. One second, lemme prep." Looking in the small mirror, he smeared the cream on his face where he wanted her to shave then wiped his hand off on the towel. "Alright, doll," he said, handing her the razor, "have at me."

Soldagand spread his legs, giving her room to rest her knee on the chair between them. She positioned herself in front of him and very carefully got to work. He rested a reassuring hand on her waist as she nervously scraped the razor against his cheeks.

When she was finally done, she tilted his head this way and that to examine her work.

"Enjoyin' the view?" he purred, raising an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes, blushing despite herself. "I'm making sure I didn't miss anything."

He picked up the mirror to see how she did. "Not too shabby," he murmured, examining himself in the mirror. "You're a quick learner, sweetheart."

She let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

"I can handle the rest myself. Thanks, doll." He wiped off his face with the rag and smooched her cheek. "I've got court tomorrow, so I figure I might as well look presentable."

"'Court,' like royal fae court?" she asked, climbing off of him so he could stand up. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, the queen and them just wanna see how I'm healin' up. Nothin' serious."

"Ah, gotcha..." she mumbled.

Soldagand paused. He'd seen that look before. Lately, her demeanor always seemed to change whenever he mentioned his queen. "Shot in the dark here, darlin', so I apologize if I'm way off but…" He paused, considering his words carefully. "Are you… jealous of my queen?"

She almost scoffed and rolled her eyes. How ridiculous! Of course she wasn't!

… Was she?

Oh, goodness, she was.

He watched her expressions as she silently made sense of her feelings and finally landed on surprise. "Oh, honey," he cooed, his voice sickeningly sweet. He was clearly trying not to laugh. "If you really understood how much I love you, that would never even cross your mind."

She didn't seem to know what to say.

"Listen, buttercup," he continued. "I know all this fae stuff can be a lil overwhelming and confusing if you weren't born into it. But all you need to know is that I love you. I'm devoted as all hell to my queen, but what you and I have is special. I mean, who do I curl up with at night?"

"Me," she mumbled, dropping his gaze.

"And who do I shower in kisses?"

"Me…"

"And who's my sunflower? My dewdrop? My sweetheart?" She was too embarrassed to respond, choosing to stare at her shoes instead, so he smooched her cheek. "That'd be you, darlin'."

She hugged him suddenly and buried her face in his chest. He finally let out a laugh and hugged her back. "Baby, baby, baby..."

[prev] / [next]

==============================

STORY TAGLIST: @kalliopi-ships @goodhairclub @ycimiya

let me know if you want to be added or removed!

[theficplug]

{My Boyfriend Does My Makeup with Trevante}

{The YouTube Series}

Warnings: none , fluff

Trevante  finally had some time off after his latest film had wrapped and although you were both private about your relationship. You decided to give your boos (your viewers) something special for 307k. 

"Welcome to or back to my channel my boos. I have a special guest today. Everybody say hello to my boo bear. Who agreed to do the My Boyfriend Does My Makeup Challenge with me. Say hey baby." You say to him as he flashes his pearly whites at the camera and you can already tell you're going to have to filter the thirst comments. 

"Hey , I'm uh Trevante y'all probably have seen me in a few things. If I seem like that familiar face that you can't put a name to. That's why. Also looking forward to playing some characters that don't die halfways through." He says jokingly at the end before giving a shy awkward little nod to the camera. 

You take his hand in yours and nuzzle closer into his side to get him to relax a little. 

"What I think a lot of people don't know is that even though he's always in front of the camera. He's also kinda shy and doesn't like a lot of attention on him, but unfortunately for you baby is that BOI WE FINNA BE ON YOUR ASS IF YOU MESS IT UP." You say jokingly as you set out all of the makeup and a little cheat sheet to tell him where everything goes. 

You watch him break into a smile and throw his hands up.

"Ye of little faith. That hurts bae." He says pretending to be hurt with his hand over his heart dramatically. 

"I'm only joking. I believe in you. Gimme kiss?" you ask before he pokes his lips out for you to press a soft kiss to his lips. 

"Alright , I'm ready. Today we're gonna use the Fenty foundation? We're just gonna take Miss Riri's stuff and rub it in, all over the face. You don't really need a sponge or brush or any of that. That's all to get you to spend more money." He says to the camera as if he knows what he's doing. 

You try to hold in your laughter while looking at the camera and shaking your head.

"You're doing good Tre. I feel prettier already. What's the next step?" You ask him as you watch him work. His tongue slightly poking out as he's concentrated on getting your face to look "right". 

Sometimes you just get caught up in how beautiful and kind he is. He always takes care of you and tries his hardest to be involved in anything you're interested in.

"I feel you eyeing me while I work and lemme just say it's highly distracting ma'am. I'm a professional." He says jokingly before giving you a quick kiss. You tug at his bottom lip before kissing him again.

"SHE GETTING DEMONETIZED Y'ALL. We gotta keep it pg." He says before working his way down the little cheat sheet you've left him. 

"If you poke me in my eye. I'm swinging." You say to Trevante as he grips your chin gently while trying to apply eyeliner.

"Y'all see how she be treating me? Gon beat my ass in front of all of y'all like that.  Lemme stop before that's all over Twitter. Shhh, stop fidgeting let me get it right. " He says and you can feel the felt tip going past where the little flick needed to stop. 

"How do I look baby?" You ask as you batting your eyelashes at him and watch his face scrunch slightly at messing it up.

"Hollup it's whopped on that side. Give me a wipe from over there please. . . You said earlier that you wanted to ask me some questions." Tre says to you not bopping along to the soft music playing in the background.

"If you could not love me in this way anymore. Do you think you could love me in a different way? Because you know how when some people break-up. It's so traumatic for them that they can't bare being around the person that they were with because the love there is different." You ask the heavy hitting question that came from an insta sticker. This man was actually a giant teddy bear and pouting at your question.

"For the record I ain't going nowhere. This man put a ring on it." You say giggling and waiting for his response.

"I love you in all ways , always. You know that. But, I'm tryna think about what you're asking. You're saying if weren't together no more. Could I still love you? Absolutely, we were friends before even getting together. When we met in the makeup trailer. I knew that you were going to be important in my life. And that I was gonna love you in some way. But I am grateful that I get to love you this way. I get to love you romantically , emotionally, spiritually, and (cover your ears kids) physically. I'm in love with you." He says before giving the camera a wink and blowing a kiss at them. 

Your jaw drops slightly at his response. You could not be more in love with this man if you tried. You thought to yourself before leaning in to kiss his nose and then all over his face and finally his lips. 

"Damn, I mean I think I like you or whatever." You say to his as he smacks his teeth and shakes his head while laughing at your response. 

"I'm in love with you too Nemour. I only had 3 questions picked out. So here's my second one. When is the wedding? Someone on Instagram asked." You say to him as he nods 

"We have a date and it's in my fiancee's favorite season and that's about all I can tell you on that. But I'm sure when it's all said and done she'll put a cute little video package together for y'all." He says as he applies highlighter to your nose and you look at him before bursting into laughter.

"Of course. I promise my boos will be included into the wedding somehow, but Y'ALL lemme bring the camera in please look at how this man got my nose looking like a Christmas ornament. We're going on a lil date right after this. I'm finna be looking shhmmooking hot." You say sarcastically and he couldn't even stay pressed as he breaks out into laughter with you. 

"Okay so you're on the last part of my routine which is lips. So before you start I'll ask one last question from Twitter. It says what was our first impression of each other." You smile at the question remembering exactly what he was wearing and everything.

"Well I met you while working on the set of Predator. I was like damn okay lil chocolate drop. Can I get your number? No, but really I thought you were beautiful and funny and just like full of light. There were some early morning call times where I was just grumpy as hell and had to wake up at like 4am and have to hang off fake plane for who knows how long. But there you were in the trailer already dancing around to this one throwback song and giving everybody positive morning affirmations.

Just getting shit done too. I was just standing there watching you in your element. Your lil fro bouncing side to side as you swayed around getting all of your supplies together. And I remembered you ordered everybody breakfast with like Uber Eats or something. Your energy had me hooked from the start. I think I'm more of a morning person now because of you." He says as he picks out the lipstick color.

"You never told me that! That's so sweet boo bear. I was just trying to make everybody feel better 'cause those were some long ass hours. Trying to add all the lil scars and makeup and everything so early in the morning was a lot. But I got to spend more time with you so I wasn't complaining. My first impression of you hmmm. I think I was shocked at how beautiful you are! Wait , wait lemme explain. I've seen you before on that one Tyler Perry show as Ramsey before you got killed off. And just like when I found out you were going to be in that film. I was nervous as hell. And when you walked into the trailer with your beanie almost over your eyes and your headphones on like you were too cool for school. I knew I had to play it cool. I just like sauntered over to you and offered you a breakfast plate. It worked though. Cause you was grooving to Brandy too. After that I realized how you have the driest humor, and yet you are the funniest person I know. I mean like dad joke central with him. He be slapping his knee and everything y'all. But he could've been a whole comedian." You say to the camera and he waits for you to finish before he starts applying the deep plum shade of lipstick.

"My humor may be dry but you still be doing the scatter run when I do the Norbit voice." He says laugh softly at you already about to start wheezing. 

"Done?" You ask him as he sits back admiring his work. 

"I don't think I did too bad. Look" he says handing you the mirror as you look closely

"My lashes barely hanging on and my eyeliner doing the Cha Cha Slide but other than that I think it looks good. You did a good job baby." You say giving him a kiss as he smirks into it. Already getting the big head.

"I'm coming for your brand baby. Multi-talented." He says to the camera.

"Alright and with that I'mma end this video before his head gets even more inflated. I seen some juicer questions earlier but y'all there ain't no tea. We sexy but our own type of sexy. I gotta show y'all the photos from Halloween when we dressed as Marcus Burnett and Mike Lowry from Bad Boys... We're that couple."  You say chuckling softly.

"Alright my boos, y'all know what to do. Like , comment , and subscribe if you want. Turn on the notification bell so you can know when your faves fave post again. Who knows I might get him to do the No Hands Kissing Challenge for 400k. And an OnlyFans video for 1 million." You say half jokingly as it flies over his head for a moment before the lightbulb goes off. 

"I don't know about all that maybe 5 milli. Alright y'all , be kinder to yourselves and stay blessed. Byyyeeeee" He says in your voice as he does your outro and you couldn't wait to just wrap your arms around him and love on him. 

[imaginetrahs]

4. Is this a date or what?

Solana

This morning I woke up around nine o'clock and stayed in bed for a while. Oscar wasn't coming until 12:30 and currently it's only 10.

I got out bed with a heavy sigh, and walked to my closet looking for an outfit. I wanted to look good but not like I'm trying too hard. However, I don't want to look like I didn't try. I decided on a cropped thin strapped tank top with ripped jeans and a light flannel shirt. I looked in the mirror and paused thinking about the weather. I checked my phone and it said 85 degrees. I went to change my outfit, but took a picture first. I ended up trying on three different outfits, took pictures of them, and then sent them to the group chat before hopping in the shower.

Real Hot Girl Shit 🤪

Hot Girl Lana

Which one 😭

Read 10:15

Hot Girl Brae

The first one is really cute but so is the third one 😗

Sent 10:18

Hot Girl Ziy

Where are you going 🤔

Sent 10:20

Hot Girl Lana

Out with Oscar 😬

Read 10:50

Hot Girl Brae

Hot Girl Ziy

Hot Girl Brae

Hot Girl Lana

Ok it is not that serious 🙄

Read 10:58

Hot Girl Ziy

Actually it is

Read 11:05

Go with fit 3 bitch

Read 11:05

Hot Girl Lana

Thanks 😊

Read 11:08

I promise to tell y'all everything later

Read 11:10

After punching the air a few times I got dressed and put some mousse on my braids to lay down any flyaways. I didn't do any special makeup just my eyebrows, some lashes and some lip gloss. I walked out of my room to see Jamal sitting at the table eating cereal.

"Where are you going? Did you put sunscreen on because last time you didn't you got burned and then you cried and had me rub aloe all over you and I don't want to do that again." He got up to put his bowl in the sick and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Yes Jamal, damn." I walked around him to the fridge to grab a water.

"Where are you going?" He continued watching me from the counter.

"Out." I sat on the couch and turned the tv on. Reruns of love and hip hop were on so I decided to just watched that until it was time to go.

"Where?" I sighed and threw my head back on the couch.

"What is this? And interrogation?" I tossed the remote on the coffee table in front of me. "You're not my dad! You always tryna hear something."

Jamal gave me a straight face and I couldn't help but bust out laughing. He did this to himself asking all these damn questions.

"Chill out J." I giggled to myself. "I'm a big girl, I can handle myself."

He rolled his eyes and walked down the hall to his room. I stayed on the couch watching tv for the next hour. I was hungry but decided not eat because I'm pretty sure I'll eat with Oscar.

~

12:30 came and went, Oscar still wasn't here. I waited until 1 o'clock to text him, it's only been thirty minutes but Oscar is very punctual it's sickening. I checked my phone again and seen that my message was left on read.

I twisted my face up and locked my phone. I sunk into the couch thinking that maybe he's busy right now and him leaving me on read is his way of telling me he's still coming.

Unfortunately that wasn't the case, I've sat here for another two hours. I laid down on the couch still watching tv, upset. I heard Jamal come out of his room and into the living room.

"I thought you were going out." He came and sat on my back.

"Yeah me too." I groaned out from under him. "Do you wanna go out? Like to eat or something?"

"Really?" His whole face lit up at my question.

"Yeah," I giggled at him, "why wouldn't I be serious?"

He shrugged his shoulders and got up to put his shoes on. I squint my eyes not believing him then got up myself to put my sandals on.

Before leaving I made Jamal take a picture with me for Snapchat. I captioned it with a red heart and posted it. I grabbed my keys from the key hook and left with Jamal behind me. I waited in the car while he locked the front door and pulled out when he got in the passenger seat.

"Where to brother?" I glanced at him but still kept my eyes on the road. Safety first.

"Let's go to the state fair." I stopped at a red light and looked at him surprised.

"Are you sure because last time you told mom and dad you were going to sue them for child endangerment." I laughed and pulled off to get on the freeway.

"I'm a new man now. I'm stronger," he flexed his arms to show his nonexistent muscles, "I'm taller."

"Right." I nodded at him slowly. "We'll see how much of a 'new man' you are when it's time to get on rides."

For the rest of the drive we sung most of the songs that came on Spotify together. Moments like these are my favorite because as we get older we started to drift apart doing our own thing.

About 45 minutes later we parked and hopped out to get to the ticket booth. It was almost 4 o'clock and the park didn't close until 8 so we had some time. For Christmas last year we were gifted membership passes so we didn't have to pay as much and I'm so thankful for our rich family members.

Looking around the park we tried to decide what we wanted to do first. I haven't eaten yet and I was super hungry, like hungry hungry. I looked around for the food truck that I wanted. They served these really, really good buffalo chicken calzones and then I would just get a bucket of fries from another truck and fried Oreos from another. Be honest, who comes to fairs to ride rides because I don't, I come to eat.

Jamal and I sat at one of the free tables and he watched me eat with a disgusted face.

"You know none of that is good for you and with the pace you're eating at, you're bound to choke." He stopped talking abruptly. "I'm not CPR certified." He whispered to himself.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Oh come on J, chill out. It's like I have to constantly tell you this. Enjoy and indulge in this while you can because once we go back to school it's back to eating prison food."

"I'm pretty sure school food is better than prison food." I huffed and stopped eating.

"That's not the point." I wiped my mouth with the napkins I grabbed. "My point is, enjoy yourself. You're too uptight to be only 14, that's not good. It gives you grey hair early."

"Fine." He sighed and went to reach for my food but I moved it out of his reach.

"What are you doing? All of these vendors and food trucks, and you want my food?" I looked at him like he had two heads. "Go get your own, loser."

~

We've been at the fair for almost four hours and we've ate and played more games than we can count. So far we've won a huge unicorn, big enough for me to sit on, a huge pillow pet and just a bunch of small and medium sized stuffed animals. Since we weren't ready to go yet, I put all of the prizes in a storage locker until we left.

"You ready to go yet?" I looked at Jamal and he looked like he was ready to pass out, truth be told me too. We've been walking around for hours, bumping into people and vice versa, quite frankly I'm tired of it.

"Yeah, you?" He looked back at me and I nodded back at him.

"Let's get a funnel cake before we go?" We both stood up and walked to find the booth that sold funnel cakes. Eventually we found it and stood in line waiting for the few people in front of us.

From the corner of my eye I could see Jamal fidgeting like he wanted to say something. I could feel him glancing at me but not saying anything so I thought I should say something first.

"What is it J?" I turned to him a little, it was enough to let him know he had my full attention.

"What — I don't — what?" He stuttered out.

I pursed my lips and rocked on the heels of my feet waiting for him to tell me. "I don't believe you. So just tell me or rather, I don't know, ask me like a normal person."

He took a minute and finally asked me. "Who were you going out with today?"

I stared at him in disbelief, "that's what you wanted to ask me?" I snorted out a laugh. "I thought you were gonna ask for money 'cause you're in trouble or something. Jeez, J."

He huffed and moved up ordering the funnel cakes for us. I had a feeling he already knew the answer so I didn't bother answering it.

"Are you gonna answer me?" He handed me my cake and we started walking to the front of the fair to grab our things and leave.

"No." I led some guys willing to carry all of the prizes to my car. "I'm pretty sure you already know the answer so...you tell me." I put one hand on my hip while the other held the rest of my cake.

Once the guys were done I tipped them and got in the car. We had a long drive back home because of traffic and it's dark out and people don't know how to fucking drive.

"How did that even happen? Why him of all people?"

To be honest I don't even know myself. Yeah I had a crush on him and yeah he's attractive, very attractive whew. But, the lifestyle he lives is very dangerous, he's older than me, which isn't really a problem I'm eighteen, and he's not really someone my dad would want me to bring home.

"I don't know." I pulled onto the freeway. "It's a long story I guess."

"We got time."

~

We finally arrived home after I spilled my guts about my feelings for Oscar. Surprisingly Jamal didn't say anything about how I felt, because we all know he always has something smart to say.

"I know you're older and you're supposed to look out for me but, you're my only sibling," he took my hand in his, "and I just want you to be safe."

I nodded and squeezed his hand. "Of course. Always."

He nodded back at me and got out the car making his way into the house. My parents were home, I could see their bedroom light on.

I sat in the car for a little while longer not ready to get out yet. My phone went off in the cup holder telling me I had a text message. I looked at it and seen a picture from Braelyn. In the picture it was Oscar, who looked way too high to function, and a girl sitting on his lap. The picture was screenshot from Instagram and it was captioned "Mine 🤪".

I couldn't help but laugh, out of both humor and stupidity. I text back the group chat, "Lmfaooooooo. Bet.", and got out of the car and went inside. I'd get the stuffed animals tomorrow or something, right now I just want to go lay down.

"Hey babygirl." My dad hugged me as I walked in the house. "Jamal told me y'all went to fair. That was nice of you."

"Yeah I thought we should hang before school starts." I kicked my sandals off at the door and grabbed a water from the kitchen. "I'm gonna go to bed, I'm tired.

"Ok, I love you." I repeated it back and went to my room. Today has been a long day.

~

I changed my clothes and then got in bed. I put on Netflix for background noise and check my socials. There wasn't anything special but I watched Jamal's snap and noticed he posted a few pictures of us from the fair.

One picture stood out the most though. It was a picture of me playing the basketball game, I was mid shot with a big smile on my face. It was about 6:30 when it was taken because the sky was a pink-ish orange color and I looked like I was literally glowing. I screenshot it and posted it to my story and locked my phone.

I got another text and seen it was from Oscar. I rolled my eyes and opened it to leave him on read and went back to watching tv. I didn't have time for the tomfoolery, if he didn't want to hang today that's all he had to say instead he stood me up.

"Can I watch tv with you?" I looked up and seen Jamal standing at the door with a disgusted look on his face. "Mom and Dad are...busy and your room is the farthest."

I chuckled and made a space for him on the bed. He climbed in and we watched tv for the next 2 ½ hours. When Jamal got up to leave to his room I laid my head on his shoulder.

"You're my favorite brother."

"I'm you're only brother, Solana."

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Boxing Day Extravaganza boop Jimmy: Okay so we know they're taking the train Jimmy: which appaz only takes like 35 mins so that's nice, not to have to entertain the kids for an age Jimmy: cos everywhere would be busy and hellish given that it's boxing day Janis: nice lil' journey, no one has time to get antsy, probably only need to do one hellish train toilet moment per child lol Jimmy: we can all get arty because Jimothy promised to keep doing the bae daily masterpieces Janis: get a table seat, love that for yous Jimmy: Cass just on her phone 🎧 being antisocial the whole time, love you gal, but the rest of us are living our best lives Jimmy: having hot chocolate and all the left over gingerbread and other festive snacks like 😁 Janis: you'll end up having an alright time in your own tween way don't worry Janis: the plethora of christmas toys that you've simply had to bring Jimmy: maybe you can have a Lisa beach friends moment Janis: that'd be cute, some kids at the arcade or something Jimmy: much more British and chill because we haven't stolen Ian's car for you to cover with 🐚s sadly Janis: I used to make friends on hols, live laugh love with whatever kids have also been dragged to Skerries lol Jimmy: I did not which tells you everything you need to know about how shy I was and how much my sister didn't want us to have other friends when we were kids Janis: gatekeeper trace so rude Janis: okay, so we're getting there, what do we wanna hit, obviously all the beachy cliches we can and also some festive ones Jimmy: gonna have a dip in the sea even though it's freezing af even if you only put your feet in lads Jimmy: the awkward moment when you think you only have a day here so you're gonna cram it all in and then be like oh Janis: don't be babies you can do it Janis: not the actual babies though, you will die Jimmy: stay with Cass even though I'm certain Libi will wanna do it Janis: she will be tryna run lmao Jimmy: soz for that Cass Jimmy: you'll be able to go off with your mates when you meet them, just give jj the chance to be competitive in the sea for a sec Jimmy: obvs gotta win something piss easy in the arcade and then lowkey bankrupt yourself trying to get the same thing for the other kid as always happened to my dad LOL Janis: hohaha yes Janis: also last time we went to an arcade you could get gross sour sweets with the tickets so the kids will be pinging Jimmy: love that Jimmy: Jimothy see how many you can fit in your mouth/eat because I would Janis: changing money into all the 2ps for the penny falls and having the cup for the money fun Jimmy: I bloody love an arcade tbh all that good stuff and beach fun and snow fun because it has to snow more for the trains to stop running since you got there okay Janis: when you realize it's coming down fast hun Janis: and I oop Jimmy: should've tried to leave as soon as the snow started but we're not because we don't wanna Jimmy: even though that phone call to Ian to tell him you aren't coming back will be lovely and put you in a great mood Janis: like you LOVE spending time with your kids ok sir Janis: everyone gonna be lowkey pissed soz weather happens lads Jimmy: we're with all our fave peeps we'll soon cheer up and live our best lives Jimmy: we definitely need there to be some board games in this caravan Jimmy: crack out the uno Janis: its not like you're without shelter and warmth, everyone will be fine, we're all buzzing lbr Janis: yes, all the board games, there'll at least be a telly to watch festive shit on Jimmy: Jimothy will make so much tea, we'll be cosy Janis: you should also eat comfort food like beans on toast ty Jimmy: make a little soft world/den for the bubs Janis: campout in the lounge 'cos you're not gonna wanna share a room alone but also don't wanna be separated so enjoy the double moment Cass Jimmy: winning her over with that Janis: at least that's an excuse if we want to message 'cos no privacy whilst they're out here snuggling Jimmy: true that's a good idea Jimmy: and won't wanna wake them by talking out loud when they're eventually asleep which would probably take forever cos buzzing Janis: my thoughts exactly, and it means we can ref a bit without literally sitting here listing every possible thing ourselves Jimmy: ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jimmy: 👍? Janis: can't really accuse you of making it snow Janis: but my foot does feel in danger again 🪓💘 Jimmy: just do 🌧 me Janis: next doodle sorted Janis: get loads of likes Jimmy: blank page would an' all long as I do a #goals caption Janis: show off Janis: not much chance of me giving you #goals muse inspo in day old clothes so you'll have to rely on that clout Jimmy: LITERALLY the opposite, about the muse not my 🎨 Jimmy: and there's every chance if you don't wear any clothes, duh Janis: you still have to think up the words Janis: and 🔥 emoji usage 🙌😩 Jimmy: nowt challenging about that Jimmy: 😍💕or 🤤 Janis: how much chance do you reckon there is of no clothes Janis: meant to be 🥶 to death here Jimmy: depends how 🔥 you reckon I am Janis: 💯 Janis: obviously Jimmy: but I get it, any excuse for a shopping trip, girl Janis: 🤑🛍😍 Janis: you know me so well Jimmy: meant to be working tomorrow, take your chance while there's still 💰 to be after Janis: bummer Janis: it should clear soon, can't have you pining for it too hard, like Jimmy: 🥺☕💔🎻😭 Jimmy: @ my manager before he has chance to miss me Janis: *replace you Janis: 😬😶 Jimmy: 😱😱 Janis: literally who said that, omg Janis: so rude! Jimmy: brb gotta 👻 there to serve some lattes Janis: yeah, you'll need to wife it before you try and leave me with 3 kids Jimmy: weren't no 💍 in the grabbers, looks like we're going shopping after all, babe Janis: missed a trick there, honestly Janis: probably had a ring pop if we'd looked harder Jimmy: Libi'd have that right off you, mate Jimmy: don't even have to jilt you Jimmy: replaced mid-proposal Janis: true Janis: and she needs no more sugar ever again Janis: ❌ Janis: you'll have to just stay put, soz Jimmy: were gonna get you one of them mood rings but it'd give the game away by saying you weren't ALWAYS 😍 Jimmy: only need the one fan 👀 Janis: how dare you doubt my acting abilities Janis: ALWAYS on and ready for my close up Jimmy: that ain't acting it's 🔮 OBVS Janis: magic, talent Janis: all the same to me 🥇👑 Jimmy: alright bighead, go on Janis: go on what? Jimmy: always on, you said Jimmy: impress me with one of your talents Janis: here and now? Jimmy: might be on for a bit weren't what you said Janis: Libi's already seen you partially clothed once Janis: not trying to traumatize them permanently Jimmy: what you bringing me into it for? it's your talent Janis: already shown you how to juggle too Jimmy: there's nowt else? Janis: rude Janis: you made me sing to you as well, if you recall Jimmy: tah for the reminder to send that to Pete Jimmy: he's looking for a lead 🎤 so I've heard Janis: I'd literally kill you Jimmy: shouldn't have to beg you Jimmy: you know that's all I want Janis: 😤 Janis: obviously all I want it to have an ill-fated romance with Pete but you stagemomming me was not part of the dream Jimmy: you look SO cute when you're fuming Jimmy: what's your plan then? Janis: find a totally natural way to drop hints that I'm dead talented over my lattes, duh Janis: writing lyrics in a notebook, being SO cute 🤔 Jimmy: he's got a girlfriend with a normal sized head, but I think he can read so you're probably on to something there with the last bit Janis: normal? Janis: how...exciting Jimmy: you'll find a natural way to drop hints you're after a threesome an' all I'm sure Janis: sounds like a 🥈 move Janis: if I can't get her chucked what is the point Jimmy: perfect for you, that Janis: in no world am I runner-up Janis: fake or otherwise Jimmy: not to her, just to me Janis: you don't do co-workers, you're disqualified Jimmy: you reckon you could get her chucked but I couldn't get him sacked Janis: 😱 Janis: then comfort him, that's evil Janis: okay 💀👑 Jimmy: 😈 Jimmy: haven't seen her for ages, bit of normality for you, that Janis: me? Janis: she's your favourite customer Janis: clearly spend loads of time chatting and plotting Jimmy: that's Tammy, how dare you Jimmy: she orders loads Janis: she needs the energy for her tiktok dances Janis: don't call her fat Jimmy: that were you Jimmy: I would NEVER Janis: nah, 'course not Janis: she's your bestie Jimmy: #BFF Jimmy: but that's you an' all so Jimmy: 💔 for her Janis: I'm not sharing Jimmy: I'm not making you Janis: you know she'd take a bigger piece Jimmy: she'd try but you'd 🥊 her Janis: you want me to fight for you Jimmy: if she's after me, you're gonna have to protect me Janis: alright Janis: guess I don't wanna see you squashed to death Jimmy: get these bandages off first before I need another set Janis: you can go have an ice bath Janis: if you wanna Jimmy: why would I want that? Jimmy: sounds fucking horrible Janis: not because you're being too 🥵 idiot Janis: to help with the swelling Jimmy: 🙄 I got that Janis: you went in the sea Janis: you just have to sit for a bit longer Jimmy: you didn't wanna be left with 3 kids a bit ago Jimmy: make up your mind, Jeanette Janis: later then Janis: just don't scream and wake them up Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: we'll 👀 Jimmy: yeah and you won't hear nowt Janis: 😏 Janis: did it hurt less today Jimmy: [throws a cushion at her for the 😏 and to distract from having to answer that because probably hurt more if anything all the fun and games they've done today] Janis: [inadvertantly start a pillow fight here which you need to then calm back down] Janis: don't think I didn't notice Jimmy: ? Janis: you didn't answer Jimmy: you reckon I never do Janis: it speaks volumes Janis: you're alright Jimmy: there you go then Janis: if you're alright with it being inferred, yeah Jimmy: dunno about your 🤓🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm alright, leave it out Janis: fine Janis: no hot chocolate for you Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you're SO rude Janis: yep Janis: that's what you get Jimmy: but Jimmy: we're best mates Janis: maybe Janis: but Bobbys nicer to me so he's getting extra marshmallows Jimmy: it were you going on about how you were gonna be nice to me Jimmy: should've known it were bollocks Janis: you threw the first pillow, mate Jimmy: you chucked out a pisstakey 😏 before that Jimmy: weren't me who started it Janis: not my fault you're known for being well loud Jimmy: isn't it? Jimmy: I'd say it were your fault Janis: don't make me 😏 again Jimmy: alright I'll make you 😳 Janis: I'll blame the ☕s Jimmy: you want a hand? Janis: [throw a LOOK from your kitchen area] Jimmy: [come on over boy and be giving her a LOOK back the entire time obvs] Janis: [do the thing where the kitchen is too small so you're lowkey just in each other's way the whole time in a #mood of a moment like so much more of a hindrance than a help] Jimmy: [and also the thing where you kiss only to break apart as if nothing happened if anyone notices] Janis: [Bobby would be used to you having a gf about as the last one moved herself in but Libi is not so she'd be the kind of kid to be like UMMMMMMM] Jimmy: [Oh Libi you are such an icon] Janis: [just like why you kissing are you boyfriend and girlfriend, Janis like shh bitch] Jimmy: [Jimothy's turn to be 😏 irl] Janis: [when you can't be like NO 'cos how confusing for the kids but you're like not gonna confess my love gal, hush, Libi is so gonna try and smooch Bobby watch out boy] Jimmy: [so here for that adorableness tbh] Janis: [when lil kids are like this is my boyfriend lmao] Janis: you've been replaced now Janis: how does it feel 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭😭😭 Janis: that's what you get Janis: dumping me mid proposal Jimmy: you keep saying that Jimmy: but from here I ain't proposed yet Janis: don't let on Janis: she'll be raging Jimmy: I'll take her with me tomorrow when I go pick the 💍 Jimmy: get her back on side Janis: got a plan for everything, you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: wait until its later in the year and I'm jonesing for more 🎁 again Jimmy: no need, you can have owt you want whenever you want it Jimmy: there's the plan, like Janis: well goals 😍😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: if nothing else Janis: plenty of 🌨 to play with tomorrow Jimmy: I do take requests Jimmy: have a 💭 what ⛄ you want Janis: well you are pretty skilled Janis: have to think of something challenging Jimmy: you've got all night Janis: if they ever go to sleep Jimmy: you'll have to read them a long boring story Janis: ❌ voices ❌ personal cameos for you kids Jimmy: get Bill's 👻 in Jimmy: owt of his'll get the job done Janis: 😱😱 so true but you didn't have to go there, babe Jimmy: he can't be fuming that I want you to stay with me, it's his whole brand Janis: 🤞 he don't get too carried away with your 💀 scene now or they'll be having nightmares and then there'll be no time for ⛄ Jimmy: they'll be able to hack it Janis: hack you up into lots of pieces Jimmy: don't matter about me, long as no 🐕s are 💀💀💀 Janis: if nothing he knows his audience Jimmy: I get it, you wanna marry him Janis: pretty sure he's married Janis: bet he's got more than 3 kids as well Jimmy: and what you're gonna let that stop you? doubt that Janis: rude Janis: breaking up Pete and his groupie is one thing Janis: homewrecking is another Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you're 👌 at me now Jimmy: I just did do Jimmy: you'll be chuffed to know I had a look and he has got 3 kids Jimmy: one of them was a twin called Judith, so you might be his daughter Janis: like he had twins or one survived Janis: I'll take being the 💀 one if that's the option Jimmy: the dead one was a lad Janis: ugh Janis: great Janis: more lesbian jokes Jimmy: we've 💀💀💀 them, you're alright Janis: had no idea Judith was such an old name Jimmy: can't say I ain't taught you owt 🤓 Jimmy: know my audience an' all Janis: can't help yourself 🤓 Janis: I reckon Jimmy: you can't help nerd flirting with me, more like Jimmy: about to crack the chess set out, you Janis: chequers, maybe Jimmy: dunno never played Janis: just chess for thick people Janis: less 🤔🤓 more 🥴🤯 Jimmy: still too northern 💔 what were I gonna do make the bits out of 🥔 Janis: don't reckon we've got it in so you're safe Jimmy: what do you wanna do instead? Janis: that's the question Jimmy: answer it then Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [😳] Janis: it's not obvious? Jimmy: might be but it should be just as obvious that I wanna hear it Janis: how badly I want some alone time with you just increased Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: worth a go Jimmy: [do your best to try and escape lads] Janis: [probably enough into our hot chocolate/festive film to give you a few minutes here] Jimmy: [take your chance and leg it] Janis: [lord knows you need the moment Jimmy: [it's deserved you didn't know you'd still be here with all these kids and no privacy whatsoever] Janis: [what a time, at least you don't have to go home and separate 'cos heaven forbid] Jimmy: [that would suck, the time between boxing day and nye is weird enough if you like your fam and aren't a highkey teen in love so] Janis: [hence 'I missed you' like you've not spent forever together at this point and barely been apart] Jimmy: [hence the most genuine smile ever like an adorable nerd because whatever he was expecting her to say was not that but we're here for it] Janis: [when you go to nudge him like shut up but it's more of a feelsy lean and we all know it 'sorry about missing work' 'cos we feel bad even if there's fuck all we can or could do about it] Jimmy: [always gotta give that feelsy lean back regardless of how much it hurts us which gets him thinking about how much work would suck being this injured so we're 😒 which makes it seem like we're really annoyed about missing work even though we know he'd rather be here, hence the shrug he does when he snaps out of said thoughts 'you're my fave job any road, said it before' stop calling her a job sir even if you said that in a more feelsy tone than the words suggest] Janis: ['charming as the first time' and a 🙄 we're probably playing off as more jokey than it is] Jimmy: ['nowt I'd wanna be doing more than pissing about here with you, what could be more charming than that?' maybe if you'd said that in the first place boy instead of calling her a job again] Janis: ['I'm against serving coffee to ungrateful dickheads, it's not much to brag about, like' but a shrug and 😏 'cos we're not fuming over it] Jimmy: ['loads else you could if you wanted to' just telling her she's 🥇 basically there 'but I'll do it if not' casual hypeman is how that sounds but we're just 😍] Jimmy: [when I was asleep a little list of things he likes about her/she could brag about came to me so I'll try and recreate it from memory for us now, first he was obvious and just wrote fit on her arm or wherever but then did a camera and painting mime to emphasise that and tell her she was a good muse before adding mysterious where he wrote fit but then it started getting cute cos he drew little vampire teeth in the air above her smile and a sun on her face which he added the 😁 grin to obvs and then because we were in that general area he wrote nerd in caps on her neck across the biggest lovebite because not only is she such a one but to include nerd flirting then we moved to her throat and he did 🗨 because he likes talking to her and added a 🎵 inside because she's genuinely a good singer then wrote fun before adding the ny as well cos she's also a laugh then he went down to where her abs are and wrote athlete also in caps because DUH and finally on her ribs did the ✔ again because she's been taking care of him and is so kind and nice etc and while he was there got carried away just drawing an elaborate and massive rose for all the love and feels we can't currently express] Jimmy: [there might have been others I'm forgetting but those were definitely the main ones] Janis: [I'm dying boo, we're going to have to be physical because if we aren't speechless then things will be said but it's going to be the most intense and loving ever so we know] Jimmy: [not letting that be interrupted, soz children fend for yourselves for a minute please] Janis: [it's not like we've gone far, you're fine and we need this so we don't die] Jimmy: [my half asleep day dream has killed us all I am soz] Janis: [we're not soz at all, y'all living your best life] Jimmy: [the feels have never been higher] Janis: [are gonna have to force you back in eventually] Jimmy: [if only so y'all don't declare your love in words as well] Janis: [smack on that window children because it's too damn soon hush] Jimmy: [Libi 👀 to see if you're kissing] Janis: [she's gonna tell everyone lmao, tiniest shipper] Jimmy: [I love her with my whole heart] Janis: [mcvickers getting that lowdown they did not ask for when we're back, accidental snitching, at least we're being good-ish lmao] Jimmy: [Fearghal gonna be so amused, Tess will not LOL but yeah you've taken good care of this bub so you win points for that lads] Janis: [can't say fairer than that] Jimmy: [gonna be so heartbreaking when you're not allowed to stay there and see Libi, I could cry] Janis: [we have to make things go so downhill in a sec in a lot of ways, sad times] Jimmy: [winnie will love the drama, but for now go inside and try and get these kids to fall asleep] Janis: [threaten them with separation if they don't start to chill, that'll work] Jimmy: [try not to lol at how horrified they are at the prospect] Janis: 😱💔💀 Jimmy: #relatable for you, that Janis: you wish Jimmy: 🎂 Jimmy: ain't even Jesus' birthday no more Jimmy: can't piggyback off that Janis: sound like a right parent Janis: over before it's even started Jimmy: none of the fans know when mine is, might just have it so you have to get me more 🎁🎁🎁 Janis: that's not fair Janis: you'll get whatevers left in the grabber and that'll be that Janis: you'll have to pretend you won it for me and all or it's not very #goals Jimmy: told you loads of times I don't play fair, Jules 🏆 and that's that Jimmy: spoil me on my fake birthday or you ain't very #goals Janis: well used to bdays not being fair 🎻🎻 Janis: 15 years too late for that to sting Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: hang on, I'll knock you up your own 🎂 Jimmy: [genuinely goes to make her a mug cake in secret, look away children there's none for you bye] Janis: such a 🤓 Janis: [like we're not 😍] Jimmy: So you don't want it? Alright Jimmy: [we know she do] Janis: never said that Janis: [grabby hands like gimme] Jimmy: [🤫 which he always looks hot doing like okay cover me so you don't have to share this with the children] Janis: [🤐 like I got this] Jimmy: [cleaning the kitchen but also sneaky doing this and when it's done gesturing for her to come here so they can swap places and she can sneakily eat it, just know he has 1000% put a little candle it in and lit it with the best lighter ever because every mum has a drawer of shit like that it's simply facts] Janis: [obviously taking a picture of this] Janis: why are you Jimmy: 'cause you're Jimmy: and I just Janis: you're Janis: too nice Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: to me Jimmy: I'm as nice as I wanna be to you Janis: I ain't earnt it Jimmy: when have I said that? Janis: you haven't but it's still true Jimmy: up to me is what it is Janis: you hand out the 🏆 Jimmy: take yours Jimmy: you've been nice to me for ages Jimmy: what were it I said the other day, you'd be telling me to piss off by the end of this one Jimmy: worth a 🏆 that you've not Janis: just in it for the cake Janis: obviously Jimmy: you've done alright then Janis: it's not hard Janis: being nice to you Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say to make a cake Janis: [irl 😏 from the kitchen trying not to lol] Jimmy: didn't know I were fake dating a dickhead like Paul Hollywood Janis: again, you wish Jimmy: no denying that 👴💕 Jimmy: but I'll have to make do with a  🤝 off you for now Janis: [obviously come back over and do said handshake like a nerd and like it's not dangerous to be anywhere near each other rn] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna run his thumb across her lip whether there's any chocolate there or not because the mood we're in and we can pretend it's because it's so secret like can't let the children see the evidence] Janis: [thank god for the solid excuse to snuggle like we're going sleep now come on] Jimmy: [just 👀 at these kids all the damn time like are you asleep yet] Janis: [finally] Janis: I think she's asleep Janis: he's 50/50 Jimmy: [chucks something at him, softly obvs] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: that was a risk Jimmy: [😏 because we love a risk like that] Jimmy: didn't reckon on you as 🙀🙀 Janis: you reckoned right then Janis: good for you Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: don't get carried away Janis: I'm the one that's not scared Jimmy: prove it Janis: [a look that's half well how would you like me to do that and half, I'm thinkin'] Jimmy: [just a LOOK like] Janis: [I like to think you two are at least in the middle 'cos Libi and Bobby wouldn't stop chatting so you had to make a human barrier lol, so that makes it less hard to kiss him now and give him a new quick love bite but also harder to just stop there] Jimmy: [you know you're getting one back for literally no reason whatsoever gal] Janis: [casually trying have a makeout sesh in total silence rn] Jimmy: [we know how impossible that is for either of you so good luck] Janis: [gonna have to stop and pretend you're just being like, see, not scared] Jimmy: [gonna have to go for that ice bath for all the reasons now boy lol] Janis: they're definitely asleep Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I would've woke up Jimmy: you don't sleep 🧛 Janis: you want me to? Janis: [turning our back like night then] Jimmy: [you know we're rolling you back to face us girl even if it hurts us because have to be hot about everything] Janis: [a noise we're 🤞 just sounds like a sleepy sound 'cos there was no helping it] Jimmy: [kiss her so you don't make any of your own thank you sir, don't need to tempt fate and risk waking these kids up that soon] Janis: [can't even go to another room really 'cos doubt Cass is asleep] Jimmy: [she definitely isn't, soz lads for this struggle] Janis: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: just so you know Jimmy: I did but now it's in writing I've gotta do something about it Janis: 👻 rules or? Jimmy: the only 👻 rule is no touching, don't reckon that'll sort it Janis: remind me why we invited them Jimmy: Ian's a twat, that were mostly it Janis: right Janis: that sounds about right Jimmy: least the 🐕's not here an' all Janis: 🌦 Jimmy: give us a bit more ☀ Janis: that's me and you though Jimmy: what kind of dickhead am I pushing in front of you like that? SO rude Janis: I'm so shy Janis: understated, honestly Jimmy: [when you're trying to stop yourself from loling] Janis: [fake punch him like oi] Janis: about to call you chivalrous but you can forget it now Jimmy: soz you can't have the 🙊 it's a bit too risky for me to use Janis: such an idiot Janis: why'd I invite you again Jimmy: Dunno Jimmy: @ me when you've worked it out Janis: you're too busy to show me? Jimmy: ❌ Jimmy: too something though Jimmy: 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 😳 🥵 Janis: you needed an ice bath anyway Janis: see how far we get without freezing? Janis: [getting up carefully to find 🚬s or a lighter like ?] Jimmy: [doing a help me up style gesture] Janis: [do, do not drop him now and do a throwback by kissing him against the door as you go out] Jimmy: [we love a throwback in this house honey] Janis: [thank god for cigarette breaks even though it will be very cold, we're extra] Jimmy: [your extraness will help keep you warm] Jimmy: [literally reminds me of when Baze had just got together and went on a caravan hol with the fam] Janis: [yes, very that energy, the sneaking is less high stakes but still] Jimmy: [you can go in harder than they could out there because less likely to be caught and less of a problem if you are so you're welcome for that] Janis: [literally we just don't want to wake the kids and make them cranky or cringe Cass out so you're fine lads, go nuts, who is at this caravan park in December, barely anyone] Jimmy: [fill your boots, you're very in love rn] Janis: [lowkey something is gonna get said during we're gonna have to pretend we do not hear lmao] Jimmy: [walking such a tightrope at all times, god bless] Janis: [go pretend to sleep lol] Jimmy: [the amount of things he would have to stop himself from saying when they are, you hush your mouth I swear down] Janis: [hence you ain't allowed, commit to this act please and ty, no more chit chatting] Jimmy: [he's not even allowed to say her name at this point so literally shhhhhh] Janis: [made that rod for your back boo lmao] Jimmy: [no regrets, it will HIT when he does] Jimmy: [you know he's not asleep though cos you know he can't get comfortable thanks for that Ian you dick] Janis: you should go get in a bed to yourself Janis: if he wakes up, I can tell him where you are Jimmy: I'm alright Janis: alright Jimmy: [just being fussy though so clearly isn't] Janis: you're never going to be able to sleep though Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you're keeping me awake Jimmy: it's you 🗨 Janis: you're 😫😤 Jimmy: but not 😭😭 Janis: I can still hear you Janis: and you keep moving about because you can't get comfortable Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: I'm not Janis: go get comfortable and I'll keep an eye on them both, that's nice Jimmy: how's chucking me out nice? Janis: for the aforementioned reasons Jimmy: for you that I won't be doing your head in Janis: no, so you aren't in as much fucking pain, idiot Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [angrily stomp off for a wee hen] Jimmy: [do your own to that 🛏 when she gets back] Janis: [oh the drama] Janis: thanks Jimmy: there's nowt to stop you 😴 Jimmy: crack on Janis: hardly Janis: there's two small, wriggly children Janis: don't need to be moody about it Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: don't need to go on at me now you've got what you want Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: or 🙄 at me either Janis: alright, shut up then Jimmy: you Janis: it's not my fault Jimmy: never said it were Janis: then stop taking it out on me Janis: do something about it that's actually gonna help you feel better Jimmy: I've not, I've said nowt about it Jimmy: you're the one who can't leave it out Janis: you're in a mood Jimmy: not with you, dickhead Janis: I know that Jimmy: 💭 what it were like when you fucked your ankle up Jimmy: this actually were my own fault Janis: no it ain't Janis: and I'm meant to just ignore it then, alright Janis: won't be doing that, sorry Jimmy: Bollocks, you can't go about being a massive dickhead and expect no pushback Jimmy: but it weren't this bad before Janis: it's too far Janis: you could literally be in hospital and it wouldn't be an overreaction Janis: there's no call for that Jimmy: it ain't you who decides where the line is Jimmy: or where I'll end up Janis: it's a pretty widely agreed upon line Janis: he could ask garda if he wanted to do something about you taking the car Jimmy: we've been mates for a minute, what do you know? Janis: that doesn't have nothing to do with being able to tell he took it too far this time Jimmy: you don't know fuck all about me or what he has or hasn't done Janis: I've seen the state of you, for fuck's sake Janis: I'm not saying shit about previous or implying that it means anything but you can barely breathe right now Jimmy: the state of me is right, what bit of this has owt to do with you? Janis: I'm not going to piss about with you doing stupid shit if you aren't handling your actual Janis: that's what Jimmy: piss off Janis: you Jimmy: who the fuck are you giving me ifs and buts Jimmy: you piss about with me whenever it suits you Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [hear that door go] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'll be back when I need to be Jimmy: for all you know you've woke every dickhead up and that's now Jimmy: but alright, keep giving it out like you're so bothered about the state of me and the bollocks I can't do while you leave me here on my own Jimmy: not fake at all Janis: I know it ain't Janis: and if you're gonna leave a 4 year old kid to freak out that'd be on you Janis: I don't have to stay and listen to you, who the fuck are you Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I didn't slam the door, they're asleep Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: forget I said owt Jimmy: top reaction Janis: yeah 'cos you've got fuck all room to talk Janis: be better for you if I did Jimmy: I don't wanna do this Jimmy: talk about it Jimmy: have to fucking handle it or whatever it were that you said Janis: then don't talk about it Janis: it's the bare fucking minimum to not expect me to ignore that you're in pain Jimmy: and what, you think I don't know that? Jimmy: that I wouldn't do a better job of this if I could Janis: apparently, I've got no right so Jimmy: you shouldn't have to hack this an' all Janis: I don't Janis: all I was doing was saying go sleep on a proper bed Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: weird Janis: how is it Jimmy: I said I dunno Jimmy: it's been ages since anyone bothered to say owt worth listening to like that Janis: well Janis: why fuck yourself up more Janis: that's it, it's no deeper than that Jimmy: Why not? Jimmy: that's been the question up to now Janis: if you're gonna self-harm Janis: don't do it in front of me Jimmy: you get to hold the 🔪 my dear, and when you do it'll be a pisstake if you don't go harder than that Janis: I'm not playing right now Jimmy: nor me Jimmy: what I meant were, it don't matter to me what happens to me if it only happens to me Jimmy: very catholic of me, I know Janis: i'm not interested in having no more blood on my hands Jimmy: not bleeding out as of now Jimmy: you're welcome to piss off again if I ever am Janis: 👍 Jimmy: is it? Janis: yep Jimmy: what kind of answer is that? Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: and what kind of question is that an' all? Janis: I'm not in the mood Janis: to talk to you or do this Janis: I'll be back to do my share and then we'll go back as soon as we can Jimmy: just come back now Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I'm fine Jimmy: I won't be if I have to piss about looking for you Janis: don't Janis: I know where I am, it's not your concern Jimmy: don't make me Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: is right Jimmy: come back and ignore me from here Janis: don't tell me what to do Janis: I'll come back when I'm ready Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: then I won't have to Janis: how far do you reckon I've got in this time Janis: I'm basically outside Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 you Jimmy: might've 🏃 anywhere Janis: it's snowing Janis: in case you'd forgotten Jimmy: that'll be why I want you to come inside Jimmy: tah for recognising it Janis: don't come near me then Jimmy: alright Janis: [show up a few minutes later] Jimmy: [we do be giving her space like she requested thankfully but we have made her a tea because it's our love language and it is cold af out there no lie] Janis: [act like you're not gonna take it for as long as you can but clearly do] Jimmy: [go to your bed sir and give it a while before you come at her again] Jimmy: What did you mean? Janis: about what? Jimmy: you said you don't wanna do this, which bit? Janis: I was talking about tonight Janis: not permanent plans Jimmy: weren't how it sounded Jimmy: you had a plan and it were to piss off back there as soon as Janis: both gotta work Janis: both got kids that don't belong to us Janis: just the obvious next step, really Jimmy: if you wanna pretend that's why, go on, obviously Janis: I'm not pretending shit Jimmy: you don't have to be a massive dickhead to keep it going just 'cause I already were Janis: obviously I don't want to spend no more time with you too Janis: why would I Jimmy: no idea Janis: there you go then Jimmy: alright then Janis: she'll be gutted Jimmy: ? Janis: Libi Jimmy: already spent ages longer here than we were going to Janis: true Jimmy: and she don't need to know that you're #overit and me Janis: makes playdates a bit awkward Jimmy: what's a bit more faking? nowt we haven't done before Janis: right Jimmy: she's less thick than most of our audience but still only a kid Janis: no need to break them up Jimmy: agreed Janis: sorted Jimmy: ✔ Janis: anything else we need to? Jimmy: like what? Janis: dunno Janis: why I asked Jimmy: it's your question, weren't me who asked it Janis: I don't ask questions I know the answer to Janis: as a rule Jimmy: if you had something in mind, say it Janis: there's loads of shit Janis: potentially Janis: mainly how we're finishing this if we are Jimmy: up to you that Jimmy: it's you who wants to Janis: no it isn't Jimmy: weren't me who said I wanna go back or that I dunno why you're worth spending time with Janis: like you've not said shit tonight Janis: and neither of those is saying I want to finish it, anyway Jimmy: what else does not wanting to spend any more time with someone mean? Janis: we've been mates for what, a minute? Janis: we were doing it before then Jimmy: so you just don't wanna be mates? Janis: not worked out so great thus far Jimmy: bit rude Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: it were going alright Jimmy: you don't need to chuck it all Jimmy: not for something that weren't about you Janis: you bighead is really showing Jimmy: how is it? Janis: 'chuck it all' Janis: I was fine before you came about, tah Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: how you say shit matters Jimmy: how I say loads of bollocks Jimmy: you get most of it Janis: I'm dickhead lingual, I guess Jimmy: I'm sorry, alright Jimmy: for what I said when I was in pain, that load of bollocks Janis: if you never phrase it like that again Janis: alright Janis: forget about it Jimmy: deliberately will ALWAYS phrase it like that now, each time Janis: if you could not make a habit of it, be appreciated Jimmy: being a MASSIVE dickhead? bit late for that Janis: I can handle that Janis: taking shit back that you've said Janis: leave off that Jimmy: not a habit I want Jimmy: only fancy the ones that'll 💀💀💀 me which that ain't gonna if it makes you piss off out of it Janis: a deal then? Janis: deal back on, actually Jimmy: if we shake on it Janis: okay Janis: come out then Jimmy: come here then Jimmy: meant to take your advice and stay put like a good lad here 🛏 me Janis: you're awkward how and when it suits you Janis: [but does, obviously] Jimmy: [will shake your hand and pull you into a hug gal] Janis: [the most dramatic hug, definitely forgetting to be careful here soz] Jimmy: [not caring that much because we care more about the bae knowing how soz we are and how many feels we have] Janis: [likewise, the tension got too much and went wrong, as it does, and we're #shooketh] Jimmy: [straight up asking her to stay for a bit because we're in our emotions so we're just saying what we wanna say without thinking about it] Janis: [just nodding 'cos that's all we can do] Jimmy: [making room for her as if this isn't a single bed lol] Janis: [at least you'll remember to be careful again and not hug him so hard, but then you're like oh, 'cos don't want to make it a Thing™ again so 'sorry, if you think I was making it all about me'] Jimmy: [a noise like no that is not what we think because 1. the strength of how much we don't think that 2. what are words and just hugging her for the emphasis] Janis: [shrugs like it's okay but we're not gonna keep going like we don't believe him even if we lowkey don't] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ! 'I think it's more of a headfuck than you signed up for, nowt else'] Janis: [just looking like how do I even explain that that's not your fault and literally the last thing either of us should be concerned about because it does not matter, just shaking our head like nah] Jimmy: [playing with her hair cos it would've had snow on it recently because there is too much we wanna say about our feels and so much we feel like we can't say about our family situation] Janis: ['I CAN handle it' like trust me] Jimmy: ['me an' all' like same even though you lowkey can't] Janis: [soft kiss] Jimmy: [you can have some little kisses too gal like my boo loves] Janis: [just being the most soft] Jimmy: [you gotta] Janis: ['we're alright, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod because the emotions are still too high rn and I'm not letting you say shit thank you] Janis: [sigh of relief] Jimmy: [hugging you again cos we don't want you to leave] Janis: [you can stay here lads, the bubs will be alright and you'll hear if they ain't] Jimmy: [snuggle it's what you both need] Janis: [let 'em be for a hot sec] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [what shall we do in the AM?] Jimmy: [make breakfast together for these bubs obvs because all the domestic bliss needed] Janis: [might have to trek to the shop to get supplies, that'll be an adventure] Jimmy: [maybe you can make them some kind of sledge because you're both crafty art hoes] Janis: [I bet there's some kind of tings in a caravan that would work, cannot think what exactly but we know the vibes, get creative] Jimmy: [I wouldn't have the first clue but you two would figure it out and you can get Cass to help she'd be into that] Janis: [as well as snowball fight and snowman making competition, which are 2 points we wanted to hit too] Jimmy: [love that and you can also make snow dogs for these bubs] Jimmy: [the question is should we let them have another night here before we send them back or is that too dangerous] Janis: [I think we should for the danger of it/to prove we can lol] Jimmy: [I'm down, just don't have another argument please] Janis: [hohaha, be good] Jimmy: [I have faith in you] Janis: [the only thing I've said you've done is baking/crafts so apart from that enjoy your snow/beach funtimes, you should also get chips for dinner, obvs] Jimmy: [yeah I'm trying to think if there's anything else they should do] Janis: [there's potential the kids have said more? because this is a whole long weekend and they don't know/care not to so, that's potentially something we need to know] Jimmy: [oh that's a good idea, is there any tea you want spilled] Janis: [hmm, she'd probably just KEEP talking about her parents like all the things she's been told about Edie specifically, so all that tea, just more than we've got out so far] Jimmy: [likewise can picture Bobby really driving home the point that he doesn't have a mum and like what he remembers about her being basically nothing so it'd be obvious they haven't seen her for ages not just since they moved] Janis: [poor babs, just bonding and JJ are here like and I OOP] Jimmy: [I hope Cass isn't around when you're spilling that tea bub cos she will be fuming] Janis: [that is potentially a thing unless he knows better by now lol] Jimmy: [this boy living his best life with his new bff deal with it Cass] Janis: [soz hen, you'll be hanging with your new mates as much as you can so we're probably fine] Jimmy: [getting all that arcade swag] Janis: [love that we're pretending we don't hear any of this clear drama lmao ly babes] Jimmy: [poor Jimothy having to just sign all this back and forth like] Janis: [I do think for a bit Libi would keep shouting like he'll hear her eventually 'cos she's only little so that'll be amusing/a time just screeching everything lowkey] Jimmy: [that's really pure babe I do stan you] Janis: [people like that's a loud child lollollol] Jimmy: [I hope you're not still shouting when you go home hun, hilarious as that would be] Janis: [mcvickers like lawd, she'll be showing them how to sign what she's learnt like just in case bobby comes round] Jimmy: [which he definitely will at some point, all the playdates forever] Janis: [fully gonna just try and take herself to Jimmy's all the time like no gal] Jimmy: [shows up at his door because they literally live that close to each other everyone like !!!???] Janis: [troublemaker baby] Jimmy: [do so love the edition of her to this lil family unit JJ are making here though, she really does add to it] Janis: [agreed, it's very cute, she'd probably have told him about how Astrid is technically her auntie but like a year younger 'cos that's wild to kids, so gonna get a sense of how messy this fam is lol] Jimmy: [and she doesn't talk either so Libi would be used to having to find ways to communicate with her too even though we know Ro be pretending there's no issue rn] Janis: [exactly dr phil, we all been knew and trying to work around it apart from ro lmao, just giving a lowdown on every auntie she has which would be amusing and probably a lowkey drag for some of y'all ladies, we know Janis and Billie are her faves] Jimmy: [I can wholeheartedly support those faves gal, Billie would always be doing the most for her and Astrid, fuck you Ro you dusty bitch, Bobby would love all this cos they lowkey have no fam] Janis: [take 'em for rides on your fancy wheelz, they'd love that, just like you can come meet them when we get back like okay JJ, all this is happening regardless, soz] Jimmy: [if she was here you'd have a bomb sledge hens she's probably built Libi and Astrid all kinds of things, Bobby will love all of Ali's animals and shit she has too, casual farm moment] Janis: [probably telling you every cats name too, poor Jimothy is gonna need a break lol] Jimmy: [unrelated but related do you think Ali would have space for any horses because I have all that Cass horse content] Janis: [I think it makes sense, I too have some gay horse content, like it wouldn't be a working farm but I think she'd have various farmyard animals just for the household] Jimmy: [yeah it made sense to me too, like your auntie vibes] Janis: [mhmm, and it could've been just land when we inherited it but she's swagged it up now she has more time/the kids aren't bubs etc] Jimmy: [Bobby just asking if they can have a kitten, Jimothy like NO] Janis: [I'm cackling, 'cos Libi like YEAH] Jimmy: [just like okay can we have a chicken/pony/donkey whatever else creatures there are, Jimothy like lawd] Janis: [just shoving the whole barn into your rental home, god bless you tiny fools] Jimmy: [and then Bobby obvs wants to phone Twix and Jimothy is just trying to distract him because we don't wanna phone Ian and he won't play along with this thank you] Janis: [distract y'all with an activity fast] Jimmy: [they could make dog treats, it's not very difficult] Janis: ]that's a good idea boo] Jimmy: [casual gift to these pups] Janis: [they'll enjoy that, kids and dogs, also can have a tea party for the toy pups lol] Jimmy: [so CUTE gonna say that Jimothy draws you a little comic strip or something about these pups kids] Jimmy: [I don't know what daily doodle you're getting today Janis, but something loved up for sure] Janis: [frankly, we're all living today hun] Jimmy: [do you wanna do this night like we did the one before with them chatting again or are we just saying it's a chill loved up vibe?] Janis: [hmm hmm hmm, let's do it, maybe we can be cute] Jimmy: [you start it then gal cos I did before] Janis: [on it sonic] Janis: 🥇🏆💪 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: come on, we bossed it Jimmy: no need to sound surprised Jimmy: just that kind of team Janis: not going to disagree Janis: 🤐 'til they 😴 aside Jimmy: don't wanna fight with you either, you're alright Janis: really? Janis: 🍀 night Jimmy: unless you desperately wanna 🥊 with me, obvs Jimmy: can't turn you down then Janis: I'm gutted, obviously Janis: but I think I'll survive Jimmy: good Jimmy: 💀💀💀 ain't happening til they're 😴 either Janis: that's a promise? Jimmy: depends Janis: ? Jimmy: do you want me to break it or keep it? Jimmy: 'cause they might not be asleep for ages Janis: 😒 Janis: should've laced the hot chocolates, you're right Jimmy: we'll have to go properly on the run if either of them 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'm in Janis: knew you would be Janis: you can break your promise then Jimmy: round 2 ☕ coming up Janis: 😏 Janis: warn me next time you plan on being so 😍 yeah Jimmy: be loads of warnings Jimmy: never shut me up Janis: just say you aren't up to it, babe Janis: 😶 Jimmy: Why would I lie to you, girl? Janis: well you don't need to shut up on my account Jimmy: I get it, you need 🔊 Janis: needs a big word Jimmy: is it? Janis: don't you think? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: I know what I want Janis: you'll have to convince me on need Jimmy: alright Janis: not mad about it if you aren't Jimmy: Why wouldn't I be? Janis: it's been a pretty knackering day being the 😎 brother and translator Jimmy: *standard Jimmy: nowt if not used to all that Janis: alright, show-off Janis: you're 🥇 we get it Jimmy: you've done alright an' all, don't be 💔 Janis: don't worry Janis: not a title I'm after, I know I'm not that good Jimmy: how do you? Janis: I don't do half as much with Libi Janis: or for her Jimmy: she still reckons you're 🥇 I had to translate her going on and on about it Janis: don't act like it was a chore 😘 Jimmy: you just said it were Jimmy: make up your mind, Jules Janis: no I never Jimmy: knackering, I think it were Janis: that's looking after this lot Janis: not hyping me up Janis: that's a privilege, DUH Jimmy: so funny, you Janis: oi Jimmy: what? Jimmy: you wanted a compliment Janis: say it like you mean it, boy Jimmy: [writes it on her how he did the other day] Janis: [try not to lol 'cos we know you ticklish and 😳] Jimmy: [go over it again like look how much I mean this, soz gal] Janis: [just wriggling away like staph] Janis: you're such a pisstake Jimmy: what, you still don't believe me? Janis: I believe you Janis: don't tickle me again or I will have to get you back Janis: been warned Jimmy: [obviously does by writing how? as in how will you get me back?] Janis: ['scuse us for our lols children, I hope you're sleepy enough that this doesn't devolve into an entire group tickle fight lmao] Janis: [but the LOOK will speak for us regardless] Jimmy: [always gonna give you a LOOK back] Janis: [smile at him too, like we can't even help it] Jimmy: [of course you're getting one back too because that kind of thing is infectious but also 😍 because her smile is always cute] Janis: you're fit Jimmy: you Janis: you x2 Jimmy: you 🏆🏆🏆 Janis: you're being very giving with the 🏆s lately Jimmy: and what? Janis: maybe I think I should do more to earn 'em Jimmy: I might reckon you have Janis: I can do better Jimmy: go on then Janis: wait Jimmy: but Janis: blame them Janis: [pisstakey evils at the children] Jimmy: [just mime killing them in all the ways boy] Janis: when we get back Janis: you'll give me some alone time before you go Jimmy: that a question or an order? Janis: a ? would be polite, I guess Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Janis: cheek Jimmy: I'll give you owt you want, since you asked Janis: *nicely Jimmy: you could do better Janis: ['please' in his ear 'cos deserved after the tickling] Jimmy: [bite your lip please sir because we all know that affected you very much but the children don't need to] Janis: [pleased with ourselves dot com] Janis: better? Jimmy: it'll do for now Janis: gutted they're too young to leave in the arcade as well Jimmy: or chuck out in the snow Janis: it is melting a bit Janis: can go back tomorrow Jimmy: 💔 Janis: not saying it to 💔 now Jimmy: 🤞 I ain't gonna start 😭😭 now Janis: you'd never Janis: too 😎 Jimmy: too northern Janis: same Jimmy: SO much in common, us Janis: Does that mean we ain't star-crossed enough? 😱 Jimmy: it'll mean the #haters have to work harder at it Jimmy: Bill's gonna be chuffed to bits with that Janis: true enough Janis: if you're still here when school starts, Lucas is ready and waiting Jimmy: do you reckon he got any new ties for christmas? Janis: from who? the ex Janis: unlikely, that bitch Jimmy: 🎅 DUH Jimmy: bound to be best mates Jimmy: both into having kids on their laps Janis: ugh Janis: 🎅 gonna have snitched about us Jimmy: be about right Jimmy: fucking dickhead Janis: 💔 Janis: no presents no more lift offers Jimmy: only the full orchestra following you round Jimmy: poor baby Janis: tell me about it Janis: gonna be depressing as fuck Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: you're my ☀ Janis: 🔫 the 🥁 for me Jimmy: what? Janis: don't orchestras have drummers? Janis: 🎹🎻 then Jimmy: bit weird that you went right for him 🎯 Janis: so #notlikeothergirls of me Jimmy: not knowing if he exists Jimmy: might be a copout of you Janis: just meant he ain't the lead singer but yeah Janis: ask Pete Jimmy: can't be, that's you Janis: well I am my own favourite person but no need to spread that about Jimmy: can't do that either, your fav's meant to be me Janis: hang on Janis: I'll post something to that effect Janis: [do] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [have a little socials flirting sesh to further ramp up the tension that's always there] Janis: [you're always about that kids] Jimmy: ☕? Janis: if you mean tea Janis: I'll 🤮 if I have another hot chocolate Janis: and the gals aren't here to impress Jimmy: 🐕🍪? Janis: fuck off 😏 Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [just checking him out whilst he makes tea so casually] Jimmy: [will do the lingering touch when he gives it to her cos we're in a rom com] Janis: I get it, you miss work SO much Jimmy: nowt to do with missing you Janis: don't be silly Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: insensitive to suggest we deafen her too? 🤷 Jimmy: she has done every other dickhead Janis: 😂 Janis: only fair Jimmy: [mime some ways you can deafen this poor bub] Janis: [trying not to IRL 😂] Jimmy: [trying not to be 😍 af because she's the cutest] Janis: face'll get stuck like that Jimmy: already stuck as 😒 Janis: exactly Janis: don't ruin it Jimmy: know how much you're into 🥺 though Jimmy: [does it] Janis: [pinching his bottom lip between her finger and thumb like she's so 😒🙄 but there's no hiding the truth hen] Jimmy: [once again running his thumb across her bottom lip because we don't need a reason] Janis: [holding his hand but squeezing it first 'cos must] Jimmy: [drawing a ! on her hand because we get it] Janis: you're Jimmy: [drawing a really slow ? as we give her a LOOK] Janis: [shaking our head, like I can't] Jimmy: [draw a 🗨 like tell me] Janis: all things considered Janis: this has been alright Jimmy: yeah Janis: I mean it Jimmy: me an' all Janis: [looking away 'cos we're so overwhelmed and 🥰] Jimmy: [kiss her because likewise] Janis: [don't hate children] Jimmy: [we know you ship it] Janis: [reminds me, Libi probably saying something so embarrassing about 'when they get married' like gal shut up but never do] Jimmy: [about to sob because they will and you can be a bridesmaid gal even though you'll be a teen by then] Janis: [so nice, 'cos Edie wouldn't have been old enough for a proper one which is sad, at least she'd start going on about hers and Bobby's so y'all don't need to feel too awks lol] Jimmy: [break my heart boo cos yeah they would've been engaged but she was but a child still so no actual wedding for y'all] Janis: [she was only 16 for like 2 months so even if Ali had agreed] Janis: [omg hang on] Janis: [what if she did 'cos like, end of the day, make your own mistakes etc and who is she to say no 'cos Cali lmao but technically Drew could be considered to have 'parental responsibility' if he's been paying which let's say he has, it seems wishy-washy but if he was like NO, 'cos just show up to do the least last minute is such a vibe for him, I think it'd count 'cos you need both parents if you have 2] Jimmy: [I love that and we must because it was like OG Cali vibes to have an underage teen wedding moment] Janis: [like so sorry do not need to be creating drama last minute in your life but also it makes sense, because as much as it's like who tf are you, it'd be conflicting because she's only wanted a dad and for him to care this whole time so] Jimmy: [soz not soz about how happy this makes me and Libi will have that wedding video to go with all the others she has] Janis: [it just makes sense that they'd try, obviously, that Ali would say yes even if she's got the reservations she has, so yeah, anyway, that's not to do with y'all lmao I just had a thought] Jimmy: [gutted this isn't Ali's caravan cos there would've been a whole dressing up box for you bubs if it were] Janis: [you can have a fake wedding when you are home lol] Jimmy: [for now make some paper doll bride and grooms that'll keep you busy] Janis: [burn that evidence, Tess is gonna be horrified, like what's this about ANOTHER teen wedding] Jimmy: [honestly this fam do make me cackle] Janis: [not enough time has passed since ruster getting married at 18 we're all triggered lmao] Jimmy: [would Edie's be before theirs or after? I get so confused] Janis: [hmm, let me think, theirs would be about 34...which is when Libi is born, so yeah, Edie is about 15 so it's the year before, 'cos obviously they get married like RIGHT before they die in 35] Janis: [talk about a YEAR for the fam, hi I'm having a baby @ 14 and hi I'm getting married to my cousin @ 18 oh and I'm also going to get pregnant] Jimmy: [we are so wild I love us] Janis: [if anyone's kids would, it is Alison's but omg, we're shooketh, not to mention we cripple Billie, then the Junior baby drama...no one getting out unscathed] Jimmy: [and now we've got jj triggering everyone and Grace out here about to also think she's a teen mum for a hot sec] Janis: [this is why everyone chats shit about y'all, but imagine the lowkey weird guilt 'cos nothing does happen to the twins really, aside from the obvious, but it's bad enough this all happens in your fam and then everyone won't shut up about it like] Janis: [also Nancy and Ava by that extension 'cos Buster embroils himself in it all and the Chloe and James of it] Jimmy: [that's why Grace is how she is guys, this fam and shit nan ruining her life lowkey] Janis: [when you can't complain 'cos it's like um well Edie's dead and Billie is crippled for life so bye, hence Janis just does as she pleases and is a bitch to everyone 'cos call her a troublemaker and whatever then, like fine, it's better than trying to deal and act like you're #grateful and #blessed] Janis: [and that's all the drama that's yet to come out, oh guys] Jimmy: [I'm gonna go re-read what I said about Jimothy's ex on the school trip because only time she's been mentioned and maybe tone that situation down depending what I've committed to because the cali fam is a LOT] Janis: [I remember the basic vibe was pregnant and with her dad's friend but yeah, go look] Jimmy: [yeah but hopefully I haven't gone in mentioning that so far and we can be like ❌] Janis: [yeah, even if it was just a lad her own age-ish and preggo now, 'cos it may have even been 2 kids and they're only 15 now so] Jimmy: [I think we've got away with implying she's a very messy bitch who has now changed her ways at least somewhat so that's fine because I don't think I've mentioned her in any of the festive convos] Janis: [we'll let you live gal] Jimmy: [anyway we've been derailed] Janis: [truly, y'all want to settle these children down again tah] Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: [get in your little den bubs] Jimmy: *🥱🥱 Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Ideal Janis: just saying, not going to their wedding Jimmy: we'll be long 💀💀💀 mate, don't worry Janis: not if she makes herself a loo roll veil and has done with it Janis: poor Bobby has had no say in the matter Jimmy: ain't seen him shake his head Janis: such a romantic Jimmy: Dunno where either of 'em get that from Janis: dread to think Jimmy: no need to 💭 about owt that isn't #goals, you're alright Janis: 🤵👰💀🤢 Jimmy: don't fancy the look of your new scale much Janis: 😏 Janis: not a question I'd even fake pop, don't be 😱 Jimmy: not even if every dickhead but me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺?! Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: even if I had fuck all, you wouldn't be getting half of it Jimmy: keep your 🐕🏃💰🔐 I get it Janis: you don't whore for those tips for nothing, yeah Jimmy: in the job description, that Janis: why else would you apply Jimmy: my ☕🎨 going unappreciated in this lifetime is an #ultimatekink Janis: of course Janis: 💔 fuels your craft Jimmy: 🖋✎🖌🔪🔧🔨🪓 Janis: 🥱 to 🤤 Jimmy: massive scale that one Janis: one time speed is impressive Janis: have it Jimmy: if you ain't bringing up either of us being 🥇 at driving Janis: that aside Janis: 🏃 too Janis: not where my 🧠 was obvs Jimmy: tah for not wanting to piss off Jimmy: mine's not on 🎨 at this very minute so I ain't after the 💔 Janis: 💀💀 Jimmy: ? or ! Janis: bit of both Janis: request and an order Jimmy: come here then Janis: [a look like dare I/do I but also a LOOK obvs] Jimmy: [giving a LOOK back always] Janis: [get snuggled in this den moment best you can without disturbing the kiddos] Jimmy: [being as sneaky as we can cos don't need these kids getting extra about your rom com life again but pulling her into his lap, injury be damned because we miss it] Janis: [missed it too and our expression would say as much] Jimmy: [it's been forever like literally pub crawl was the last time] Janis: [upsetting and rude, frankly] Jimmy: [it really is, excuse you Ian] Janis: [thank god she's skinny if tall, not gonna kill you] Jimmy: [gotta do what we gotta do cos shameless fave thing ever] Janis: [just drawing doodles all over his arm with her finger] Jimmy: [playing with her hair while she does] Janis: [we're happy and that always scares us ah] Jimmy: [likewise, oh lads] Janis: [go on your phone and see about the NYE party you aren't gonna get to go to and show him like] Jimmy: [ooh good idea boo] Janis: [are we saying it's at Mia's or did I imagine that] Jimmy: [I think we did to make it more of a thing that they don't go, because we all know Mia literally never hosts a function like it's only this all year] Janis: [so it would be such a to-do for the flat whites 'cos lord knows you've not got the reps you think you have ladies] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and we know her and Pablo are over/on the rocks so she'd be even more extra about it] Janis: [thankful we miss it tbh] Jimmy: [hard same and not just cos I love the drama] Janis: [its all the drama mick, we know it'll be a terrible party but yes, rn you can plan how you're gonna slay it if you wanna] Jimmy: Go on, how are we topping 🎄 with them? Janis: already done 😇 Janis: so it'll have to be 🌟 Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say 😈 Janis: also a possibility Janis: this party is one of the only way she has of winning + at this point Janis: how do we really ruin it for - Jimmy: where's her dad? be real hell for him, this Janis: some beach in the Caribbean Janis: he couldn't miss that to continue her punishment Janis: 💔 he don't care as much as you thought, babe Jimmy: still probably won't take much to get him back Jimmy: that lass ain't had another go at a party since we fucked up hers Janis: he is with her mother so fuck knows how he manages to have a good time Janis: assumedly it's one giant swingers convention or whatever Janis: true, I wanna do it worse though Janis: more personal, just need to 💭 how Jimmy: what I'm hearing is you want me to 💀💀💀 them for you Janis: like the sound of that Jimmy: so say it and I'll do it Janis: that's how it works, yeah Jimmy: you can have owt you're after from me, you know it works like that Janis: only if we post it Jimmy: you've got my permission to hold my 📷 while I've got the 🔪 Janis: 😍 Janis: can't promise quality Jimmy: what are you promising? Janis: you know what Jimmy: don't get more top quality than 🥇 Janis: whatever you want Janis: that's what I'll give you Jimmy: I just want Janis: go on Jimmy: [kiss her please because I'm not going to let you say something extra right now] Janis: [intense silent kisses ftw rn] Jimmy: [I do hope these children are asleep because silent is not his forte for very long] Janis: [we'll give you that, as Libi has already rinsed you lol] Jimmy: [and keeps spilling all the fam tea] Janis: [gotta let you have something lads or you'll go cray] Jimmy: [and we're ruining it all for you soon] Janis: [ugh shit nan, soz not soz you're getting floored hen] Jimmy: [honestly wish it was worse cos so deserved] Janis: [as if this is the time for you to drag up Caleb's drama, like didn't even mention he had to go and get killed, like ffs] Jimmy: [hopefully Ali will ban you from the gaff because we're all sick of your shit my love] Janis: [we were humouring you to be nice but like, no] Jimmy: [the amount of chances she's already given you through the years, dread to think tbh] Janis: [we all know she gives too many, like she never banned either Caleb or Drew from seeing their kids or being involved, she's not that bitch if she doesn't have to be] Jimmy: [likewise with Joe and Ronnie, nothing if not consistent and I love you gal] Janis: [and ro lbr] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [oh rosaline, this do not be about you though, again, off topic] Jimmy: [I wanna say he's thought of something to ruin this party we don't get to go to because we just wanna give the bae everything she wants but I don't know what] Janis: [we can because as it won't get to come to fruition, we can be vague lol, just kissing him even harder] Jimmy: [how intensely we're doing literally everything rn because the feels are so high] Janis: ['we need to go' when you mean to the bedroom but that just comes out that dramatically lol, obviously we're whispering 'cos if you wake up now lmao] Jimmy: [try not to fall over the obstacle course of all the stuff these children have left everywhere because we all know you're gonna kiss the whole way there because forever a cliche] Janis: [as funny as that would be, one of you is injured and the other has only just recovered so be careful tah] Jimmy: [and you'd be fuming if you got cockblocked rn, we don't need another argument happening between anyone] Janis: [Cass I hope you're out or otherwise entertained 'cos yeah] Jimmy: [maybe you're asleep too tbf because we never get any at home and you've been busy having friends and living your best life] Janis: [let's go with it, we're all content] Jimmy: [hook up to your heart's content lads we'll be sending you back in the morning] Janis: [so you'll be going back 28th, just so we know where we are] Jimmy: [thank god you can work things out properly my boo] Janis: [gives us a few days to do with what we want so that's nice] Jimmy: [is there anything else on the list or have we done it all?] Janis: [the only things we have is Twix being ill and one of Asia's sisters having a bday party, we could do Twix in this period, can't really do a party between xmas and ny even they're not that dumb] Jimmy: [we should do that bday party when she gets back and things are really awkward between them because Bobby can be like I want Libi to come with me because they thing they are in love rn] Janis: [yeah, and they could fuck with Asia and when have they needed much more than a flimsy excuse so] Jimmy: [that was my thought, an excuse to get them back together that isn't just school] Janis: [think that was the plan, we can skip to when they're back if you'd like, don't think this has been that long] Jimmy: [I know we always say that but it shouldn't have actually been that long this time lol] Janis: [we alright, also back home and separated] Janis: everyone's sufficiently sure we haven't permanently damaged the kid here so 🏆 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Ian ain't gonna give me no 🏆 Jimmy: no longer the season Janis: and his nice act was SO convincing Jimmy: IKR Janis: 🙄 if I needed acting lessons Janis: which I don't Jimmy: you're in luck there 'cause my mum'd be the one for it putting up with his bollocks for as long as she bothered Jimmy: but about as likely as him chucking out the welcome wagon for us Janis: Shame Janis: better not tell him about the wedding Janis: 😡 🤬 all 'round Jimmy: the 💰 saver of making it a double might do something about that but with how you feel about sharing Jimmy: it'd be you fuming Janis: look like we'd hired mini-mes Jimmy: bit of a mix up with yours Janis: it happens Janis: get what you pay for 🎻 Jimmy: she's spot on with matching your ☀ personality, babe Jimmy: nowt else matters Janis: low Janis: don't compare me to a toddler 😂 Jimmy: work on her volume 🤏 and no dickhead'll know the difference Janis: you're gonna talk big now I can't do nothing about it Janis: twat Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: doing my bit so you ain't 💔 missing us Janis: very thoughtful Janis: I'll be buzzing to sleep in a proper bed on my own Jimmy: just that kind of twat, me Janis: I know Janis: how many treats he given the dog then? Jimmy: come on, none of us can count that high Jimmy: need you for that Janis: I'll have to come see you then Jimmy: won't let you 😴 heard you about wanting your own bed Janis: it's not that good, honestly Janis: but you know Jimmy: sounded alright to me, might just be the no kid 💭💡 though Janis: yeah Janis: unlucky Janis: least you won't have to make a fort every night Jimmy: depends how 💔😭🎻 he gets missing her Jimmy: might have to do all sorts of bollocks Janis: 😏 Janis: tin can phone might actually work from that distance and with her volume Jimmy: dinner and tonight's crafts ✔ Janis: caravan life makes you so resourceful Jimmy: ⛺️ next? Janis: calm down bear grylls Jimmy: only answer to daddy 🐻 or baby when you INSIST on a compromise Janis: well, baby Janis: imagine the previous 2 nights, in a tent, with no room to hide Jimmy: all of it or just the bits I wanna 💭? Janis: the bits you wanna wouldn't have a lot of hope of repeating, is my point Janis: unless yours is making dog treats was your fave Jimmy: OBVS Janis: dickhead Jimmy: time of my life that were, think about it constant, no room for nowt else but 🐕🍪 Janis: yeah, you do LOVE that dog Janis: fair enough Janis: you two go on your camping holibobs Jimmy: bit rude you're not coming, but alright Janis: no room Jimmy: loads under the ⭐s girl Janis: 🤩 Janis: tents are for pussies Jimmy: it's a yeah now then? Janis: just us? Janis: and the 🐕 Janis: bit unfair to call the kids pussies but probably more unfair to make 'em rough it like that Jimmy: reckon I'll just leave the 🐕 with our kid, so he's not as 💔😭🎻 you reckon he's not 💪😎 Jimmy: it's a 👶 an' all Janis: I never slagged him off Janis: he's alright Janis: just Jimmy: just us Janis: yeah Janis: and all the ⭐s Bill knows the names of Jimmy: he'd have me name them after all the ones I've got for you Janis: why the pricks not invited Jimmy: keep it between us that we're even going Janis: 🗢🔒 Jimmy: til we get there Jimmy: 🗨🔊 then if you want Janis: *need Janis: least we get to christen Mia's bed this party Jimmy: 🤞 we find her diary an' all Janis: can put it on the site Janis: the good bits, anyway Jimmy: trash her room since she was so chuffed the last time Janis: wonder if daddy keeps anything incriminating about the house Jimmy: he'll have an office Jimmy: dickheads who spend every minute at work always do Janis: yeah, I know the sort Janis: and keeping it locked'd be too suspicious Jimmy: piss easy Jimmy: where on the scale'll 💀👑 end up if we christen his desk an' all? Janis: I'd guess 😩 🥺 😢 😭 but we'll see 'cos I know where I am Jimmy: go on Janis: guess first Jimmy: or what? Janis: I won't tell ya Janis: play the game Jimmy: you're 😳 Janis: close Janis: 🤯 you keep having such good ideas Janis: 😣 it ain't tonight Jimmy: might have a 🥇💡 for tonight if you play nicely yourself Janis: how do I do that? Jimmy: do you need me to tell you? Jimmy: done a top job of it without that Janis: might be part of the fun Jimmy: I dunno what fun we're having yet, just that Ian'll have had an easy go of it while we were gone Janis: bet it was well hard for him to act like he gave a shit you was gone for longer Janis: plenty of ways to get to the truth of it Jimmy: can't promise you'll 👀⭐'s but there'll be 🎆🎇 Janis: I'm in Jimmy: we should be out first, dunno why I'm pissing about here when he is to chuck the kids at Janis: there is loads for Bobby to tell him Jimmy: and my sister to go on about an' all Jimmy: and there's this Jimmy: [evidence of whatever carnage Twix has caused] Janis: 🙌 Janis: told you she was on side Jimmy: [evidence of how much she's wilding because they are back and she is lowkey scared of Ian] Jimmy: Dunno about that, doing my head in already, her Janis: n'awh Janis: shut up you 💘 it Jimmy: sounds and feels right fake Janis: then you're used to it Jimmy: you coming out or what? Janis: you reckon that's how Romeo got invited up the balcony mate Jimmy: no hot chocolate included in my invite, what more to do you want, Jules? Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: yeah Janis: love 💀 things Jimmy: chuck me off the balcony then Janis: don't tease me, baby Jimmy: I mean it Janis: where do you wanna meet Jimmy: where are you? Janis: still at my grandparents so Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: where do you wanna go Jimmy: where do you? Janis: I don't care Jimmy: it don't matter Janis: yeah Janis: it really don't Jimmy: just don't let Libi see us Janis: I'll come out Janis: she's not taking over again tah Jimmy: I'll warm you up Janis: I'm not scared, remember Jimmy: yeah Janis: but you can Jimmy: if I don't I know what will do Janis: scare me? Jimmy: 🌡 Janis: bighead 😏 Janis: not not true though Jimmy: you and your one track 🧠 sweetheart Janis: Bill ain't invited Janis: don't need to pretend Jimmy: Oi, I've got a 🎁 for you and it ain't just 🍆🎀 Janis: what you done that for Janis: not christmas no more Jimmy: 🎅's for life Jimmy: so's pissing off Ian Janis: oh, go ahead 🍾 Jimmy: [show up boy because she's not far and hand over what you've stolen from Ian's replenished stash and I'm gonna say one of the bottles has a post it stuck to it with today's doodle which is like something to do with them stargazing obvs] Janis: [take the bottle and stick the post it on his head whilst you take a swig 'did he find his car or what' 'cos we left it somewhere then dipped so] Jimmy: [stick it on her back like excuse you it's for you when you take the bottle to take your own swig and then nearly choke cos you're loling because he hasn't because I see no reason why he would have considering where they left it and he knows nothing about Janis or where she lives] Janis: [stick it on the back of your phone or something to keep it safe, shaking our head and smirking because it's funny but also 'what's your long term plan?'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'depends' like it's so casual and we don't think about how much we hate Ian constantly lol] Janis: ['yeah, depends if he takes it to the police' kicking a stone as we walk 'we'd both be seen in it on CCTV' shrugs 'you probably want to return it or make sure someone worse takes it now'] Jimmy: ['he's not that kind of dickhead' because he isn't lbr 'he can have it back before he's in work again, don't need him hanging about having a longer holiday'] Janis: [nods like good 'glad you have a plan' and a look like NEVER had one of them before lollol] Jimmy: [a look like are you because we know we're all thinking about if this plan works and he has to leave] Janis: [shrugging it off 'not getting arrested for you' and quickening our step so we're a beat ahead] Jimmy: [💔 mime before she gets ahead of us and lighting a 🚬 when she is] Janis: ['bit rude' when you're not offered one immediately] Jimmy: [pull her back a step like it was rude of you to walk off and so you can light one for her in a saucy and intimate manner] Janis: [this 😒😣 truly I shan't elaborate] Jimmy: [a look like what even though we know] Janis: [taking the bottle back like that's what] Jimmy: [writes a ? in the condensation on the bottle because we like being annoying] Janis: [rubs it out and uses said condensation to draw a cross on his forehead] Jimmy: [that's cold and ticklish so we gotta retaliate by putting our forehead to hers OBVS even though we literally could have done a million other things] Janis: [the effort of NOT kissing him right now just to prove a point] Jimmy: [when you could just kiss her but you want her to do it so you're just doing the thing where you pull her closer to you even though you're already close af] Janis: [can't even LOOK at him you're that close, just this bottle between 'em] Jimmy: [you can lick your lips though boy and you shall] Janis: [bite your own like how dare you] Jimmy: [pull her hair like how dare YOU and also to bring her even closer] Janis: [noise between a gasp and you know what] Jimmy: [getting one back always] Janis: ['why'd you have to-' but interrupting ourself to kiss him finally] Jimmy: [have an intense makeout sesh for a bit] Janis: [idk where you are randomly in the street tis the season] Jimmy: [they blatantly are and I love that for you] Janis: [always the vibe, always the mood] Jimmy: [trying to think of somewhere you could go even though neither of you actually care] Janis: [oh the places you can't go when you're a teen or lowkey ever, just chillin'] Jimmy: [would love if there was somewhere you could go 'camping' for a little moment but idk] Janis: [there's always the park but yeah literally idk where else] Jimmy: [everywhere else would probably be a trek sadly] Janis: [maybe you can go cali house way, there's ample camping space there but probably not tonight luvs] Jimmy: [put a pin in that dream] Janis: [emotions too high rn] Jimmy: [rn and forever tbh] Janis: [we're not okay but also the best we've been in forever, very confusing lmao] Jimmy: [we know he's in exactly the same boat and that's why you are #fated] Janis: [what a time] Janis: [you should probably have to go properly home at some point tonight gal] Jimmy: [can't avoid it forever we haven't moved you in yet] Janis: [and you have been gone since boxing day so your mother would kinda exist hen] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and you don't hate her as much now she's a sassy single mum so] Janis: [yeah we're not thrilled by it all but we are gonna be running away soon so we'll give you a hot sec fam] Jimmy: [you can't be together always lads it's too dangerous because of all the shit we can't let you say] Janis: [plus Junie hasn't made an appearance this year so you all have to go a bit harder than normal soz] Jimmy: [that whole shitshow is very fresh] Janis: [mhmm, it's very recent lmao, and Caleb and honestly Edie, oh the mess, god sake shit nan why] Jimmy: [we're all struggling, not to mention we said that Carly died around this time of year so Ali really doesn't need this shit nan] Janis: [sad times all round honey] Jimmy: [remind me to decide when Jimothy's mum went missing in terms of that anniversary because I've not] Janis: [noted] Janis: [enjoy that bus gal] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🤖 Jimmy: if the driver ain't human, it ain't me you wanna be telling Janis: you with your facebook ma 👍 Janis: the driver is deffo human, can smell him from here Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: might be trying to get a lift to anywhere Janis: not quite the midnight train Jimmy: can't be bothered to wait that long Janis: let me know how anywhere is Jimmy: no need Jimmy: you can have the 👎 now Janis: oh, it is you Janis: 😒 Jimmy: who else were you after? Janis: checking you weren't 🤖 Janis: or 👵 Jimmy: 👴 Jimmy: soz to 💔 you Janis: why would that 💔 me Janis: my type, no Jimmy: you've had to piss off, for a start Janis: I'll survive Janis: have to pick up all the farmyard critters your brother ordered anyway Jimmy: tah for that Janis: you're welcome Janis: 🤠 Jimmy: 🤞 there's no room left for Ian Janis: maybe in the shed Janis: if he's lucky Jimmy: the trampoline's a good shout Janis: 🤔 might be too much fun Jimmy: with his back? Nah mate 🎻🎻 Janis: 😂 Janis: least he doesn't have the 👵 bladder Jimmy: he's welcome that we keep nicking his stash Janis: I appreciated my gift Janis: even if it weren't 🍆🎀 Jimmy: far as street corners go, didn't reckon that one were 💰💰 Janis: I weren't gonna tip you Jimmy: 👵👜💰 Janis: she was not gonna get involved Janis: watch, maybe Jimmy: that's what I said Jimmy: different street maybe Janis: well it's pretty rude you can't perform without a big audience Jimmy: never said that Janis: hmm Jimmy: weren't asking for a review either but alright Janis: not giving one don't worry Jimmy: it's the fans who'll be dead relieved Janis: that we don't hoe it up on street corners? Janis: as they weren't there with 📱s out, probably Jimmy: that and you don't reckon I'm always ready to perform Janis: I'd never say that Jimmy: you did Janis: not to the fans Jimmy: you're alright, not my own biggest one Janis: yeah right Janis: your head is the the only one to maybe rival mine in size Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: dunno which 👵 or 🤖 you're on about Janis: you aren't shy Jimmy: you got a scale for that an' all? Janis: 😶🤐😬🙃😲😁😩🤮 Janis: something like that Jimmy: 👏👏🌹 Janis: I know you're 😁 Janis: but I'll 🤐 Jimmy: you Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: duh Janis: pretty nice Janis: could've gone 😲 Jimmy: still time for you to change my mind if you're that 💔 Janis: you like calling me scared, is all Janis: I'd go for 🙃 Janis: very dead in the eyes Jimmy: 👍's a bit strong Janis: yeah, it's an exclusive list Jimmy: obvs your 👀 are on it Janis: just my eyes? Jimmy: you reckon I never answer questions, what makes you think I'll do that one? Janis: miss 100% the shots you don't take, babe Janis: worth one, like Jimmy: I get it, you miss your coach and teammates Janis: coach is a bit much for the PE teacher who oversees all the girl's teams Janis: but whatever fantasy you're having, go off Jimmy: it's your 💭💕 Janis: fuck off is it Jimmy: SUCH a #lad I only know about 🥤 shots Janis: we're pretending you're a jock now Janis: okay, catching up Janis: 📸❌ Jimmy: Bill will be fuming if we start performing Grease Janis: such a snob Janis: loves the limelight way too much, that one Jimmy: you'll have to picture me in short shorts on your own time Janis: when I'm not thinking about my teammates, I'll give it a 💭💕 Jimmy: brb 💭 about the wrestling bit of the montage 🤼💕 Janis: pervert Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Oi, what happened to whatever fantasy I were having, crack on? Janis: I can't help not being a lesbian Janis: you'll have to keep it in your head, won't you Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: you're such a twat Jimmy: SO complimentary today, you Janis: yeah, warn me if you want to screenshot and I'll bother Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Whatever Janis: talk to you later Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: cool Jimmy: is it? Janis: 'course Janis: I've got nothing to say about this bus, you're chatting shit Jimmy: bit rude Janis: is it? Jimmy: how isn't it? Janis: Some things my one track mind ain't interested in Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: just stop taking the piss Jimmy: alright Janis: sorry, I'm not in the mood Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: just Janis: the lesbian shit Janis: I know you were joking but don't Jimmy: It's my homoerotic scene not yours, you're not Danny Zuko, soz girl Janis: alright, foreign exchange student Jimmy: I'm not into firing shots that'll actually wound you Jimmy: blanks are 👴 perks Janis: alright Janis: let you off then Jimmy: 🤞? Jimmy: no point you being fuming if I can't see how fit you look Janis: going home is shit Janis: know you already have Jimmy: I've not Janis: you've not? Jimmy: there's every point Ian being fuming and he won't be if I'm about to 🐕🏃 or babysit Janis: where are you gonna go Janis: for the forseeable Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: Come on Janis: I wouldn't have gone yet Janis: if you'd said Jimmy: that'll be why I didn't Janis: you're going to be bored Janis: and cold Jimmy: I'm northern Janis: now I seem like a total dick, right Jimmy: you went 'cause you had to Janis: least all the pubs are open Jimmy: 🍻 Jimmy: I'll find some 👴 mates Janis: yeah Janis: you will, right Janis: or go church, ALWAYS open, you know Jimmy: Jesus IS my BFF Janis: exactly Janis: keep you warm Jimmy: bit of 🙏'll do that Janis: ah, the homoeroticism strikes again Jimmy: nowt warmer than hell fire, babe Janis: I'll see you there still Janis: loads of ways to get in Jimmy: alright, but I only wanna see you if you recreate your angel outfit Janis: 😈 is a fallen angel Janis: he'll allow it Jimmy: chuffed to bits to know he'll be a fan Jimmy: loads of ours won't make it down Janis: they lack the imagination Janis: 💔 Jimmy: what they lack would be a massive list Jimmy: I'd bother telling you what else I like before I did them bulletpoints Janis: 🥧🍺🥔👀 Janis: I can keep up Jimmy: ain't you who's illiterate Janis: welcome for the pictures Janis: you can give me one more, for being nice Jimmy: 🚬 Janis: copout but fine Janis: add it to the list Jimmy: you never said it had to be one you didn't know Janis: didn't say it was a cheat Janis: just a bit...lazy? rude? idk Jimmy: I dunno what emoji I would do for what you smell like without making it weird 1. 👃? 2. 🐽? Janis: can't believe the emoji library has let you down like this Janis: 🐽 is cuter, less creepy, anyway Jimmy: there you go then Janis: I'll add it to the list Janis: I could just use 🚬 for you, that's what you smell like Jimmy: can't say I don't do owt to give you an easier go of it Janis: bit of a stretch to blame/gift your addiction to me but yeah Jimmy: but more romantic Janis: that is what's important here Janis: what do I smell like, now I'm worried Janis: at least you like it Jimmy: if I could narrow it down I'd have done Jimmy: you're not a vape Janis: nicest thing you've ever said to me? 🤔 Janis: 😍 🥰 😘 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you really are great at this romance shit Jimmy: tah for not being 🍭🍨🍦🧁🍰🎂 it means loads to me an' all Janis: wouldn't be able to live with myself, tbh Jimmy: wouldn't be able to die with you Janis: 😷😷😷 Janis: ruin the ending, 👻 FUMING Jimmy: I'll tell him to take it up with 🚬 for only fucking your sense of taste Janis: there goes that sponsorship Jimmy: *🤐 Janis: I was doing great work saying how fit of a smell it was Janis: ffs Jimmy: Where? Janis: I put it on my list, duh Jimmy: said you could not that you did Janis: there you go then Jimmy: say it then Janis: I like the way you smell too Janis: and there should be a less creepy way to say it, you're right Jimmy: 🗨 can still stay on the list, not that you've even remembered it Janis: I've not forgotten it Janis: just doubt you like it as much as 🥔 for example Jimmy: what's it that I'm doing now? Jimmy: bit rude to doubt me Janis: I'm not a good conversationalist, not something I've got an ego about Jimmy: it's my list, dickhead, not yours Janis: but you're 🗨 about 🗨 to me Jimmy: and I'm 🗨  I rate it Jimmy: you don't get a say in what I like, we're not 👰💍🤵 Janis: I just don't believe you Janis: but that don't matter Jimmy: why? Janis: s'your list, like you said Jimmy: why don't you believe me? Janis: 'cos I never know what to say, I told you Jimmy: so you manage to say the right things without knowing Jimmy: that's 🏆 Janis: only when they've been written for me Jimmy: it were you who said she's a more boring version of you Jimmy: you know that's not when I mean Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: I like talking to you, I said it ages ago and I'm still going on about it now so there's something in that Jimmy: 💀💀💀🐴 Janis: alright, alright Janis: I'll believe you mean it Jimmy: that's 3 things about you you've had off the list, so I will shut up now, like Janis: I'm not giving your 2 IOUs Janis: not fair Jimmy: so just tell me now Janis: I'm 💭 Jimmy: don't hurt yourself Jimmy: I get it's WELL difficult Janis: Shut up Janis: I don't want you accusing me of copying you, is all Janis: I like your voice, that's different from 🗨 Jimmy: 🥇🎤 me Jimmy: goes without 🗨 the accent is an' all Janis: I'm not 🤤 'cos you're English Janis: make me sound like them Janis: but Janis: I like not loads of other cunts have heard it Jimmy: none of 'em have, my customer service voice isn't how I 🗨  or any other dickhead really does Janis: ✨ so special, me Jimmy: my sister and Ian don't wanna talk to me and our kid can't with 🗨 so you're basically it Jimmy: when Libi ain't shouting over you Jimmy: but don't let your head get too massive, can't have you stuck on that 🚍 Janis: 🎈📌 Janis: promise Jimmy: I'd have to swap uniforms and 🚒🪓 you out Jimmy: what a ball ache Janis: more cliche too Janis: no one actually wants to fuck the police Janis: gotta keep it niche Jimmy: go on then, is that your last ✔? Janis: that's only 2, I'm not adding your real/fake persona, soz 👮 Janis: alright, as you went 👀 I'll go 💋 Jimmy: fuming that you'd make me wanna kiss YOU when giving ME a compliment but alright Janis: we're both well kissable, that's fair to say Janis: ask the fans Jimmy: shh I'm 💭 and I don't want any of them twats popping up Janis: 😶 Janis: oops, defeats the point a bit Jimmy: you're alright, I control the 🔊 in my head, I'll put you on proper loud Janis: I'd add that to my list but then you'd owe me Janis: not very 😇 Jimmy: you'll have to be 😈 Janis: your 🔊 then Jimmy: for a start Janis: I'm not going to put my own on my list Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: there can be crossover Jimmy: I already know you like the 🔊 I can get you to, so don't worry if 🚬 were a copout that is Janis: you can't claim eyes forever Janis: or I'll just list all the good stuff now and you'll be well fucked Jimmy: not that long of a 🚍 ride Janis: contrary to what you reckon Janis: not that hard to think up the shit I like Jimmy: do it then Jimmy: I'm not 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: you might float away Janis: if you're still out Jimmy: got nowt else on or anywhere else to be Jimmy: 🎈 sounds decent enough Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: Dunno if I'm chuffed or gutted you didn't go for 🐘 Janis: trust you Jimmy: well you being a better 🤹 ain't going on the list Jimmy: fuming Janis: you're still good with your hands Janis: just different way Janis: 🖕✌️🤟 Jimmy: I Jimmy: wish you were here sounds like we're still at the 🏖 and I'm 🖋 a postcard but Janis: you can draw me one Janis: wish I had something to do that weren't wistfully staring out of windows but Jimmy: 👴 flirting Janis: they are pretty saucy, you know Jimmy: never heard anyone use saucy since before I ⚰👻 so tah for that, Judith Jimmy: racy is another one I miss 👴💔 Jimmy: #thegoodoldcourtingdays Janis: 🏹 to please Janis: and I know my audience Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: 💘 Jimmy: you had me at getting your MASSIVE ankle out Janis: oi, my ankle is perfectly normal now, don't try and trick me into sending you such a scandalous picture Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: proof's in the 📷 you set yourself up for that Janis: 😱 but my reputation! Jimmy: 🦶 size matters, my dear Janis: [obviously sends a picture with all sorts of pisstakey emojis and bants] Janis: dainty, I think you'll find Jimmy: [obviously sends a 😍 af selfie back which isn't even that pisstakey because we are feeling that rn and always] Janis: You're indecent Jimmy: can be if you like Jimmy: there's nobody else at the park Janis: how long do you want my list to be Jimmy: how long is it now? Janis: embarrassingly long Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: needs to be so long you're past caring about 😳 Janis: what will I do when you fuck of 🎈 Jimmy: come with Janis: alright Janis: we'll work on your list some more and see Jimmy: alright Janis: your ❌🍆s to give thing makes the list easy though Janis: just FYI Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: you probably wanna avoid being that guy at the park though Janis: if I'm there, different vibe Jimmy: you heard there's no 👀 or 👂 Jimmy: you'd have to be the one reporting me Janis: I need you with me too bad to do that Janis: I don't need bars between us as well as distance, like Janis: even Bill didn't go there Jimmy: The antlers are long gone, even if the 🎵's live on in my 🧠 Jimmy: no reindeer games that involve a jailbreak, I promise Janis: Shame Janis: how are you going to top your festive #lewks? Jimmy: 🤔🤔 Jimmy: nowt but full body glitter? Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds itchy Jimmy: 💀👑 not have a pool? 💔🎻🎻 Jimmy: SUCH a letdown Janis: 💡 Janis: have to ask Janis: clog the filters right up Jimmy: hot tub'll do IF IT HAS TO but it don't have the #drama Bill's after Janis: she's definitely got one of them Janis: sti soup that it is 🤢 Jimmy: really painted a picture for me there Jimmy: might just leave the ✨ on so she knows where I've been Janis: imagine how many secretaries have been disappointed in there Janis: not to mention the lads not quite swallowed whole Janis: not going to be unnoticed, I guess Janis: shine on Jimmy: Dunno if I wanna 💭 Jimmy: more tragic than owt Bill's ever written Janis: #bonerkiller Janis: she's 💔🎻🎻 daddy could ever be anything less than 💯 as well Jimmy: 🤞 he sends her a postcard, can't wait to nick that off the fridge Janis: so hot when you're mean Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: not even started yet, baby Jimmy: didn't reckon on being chuffed to bits for her party but Janis: I know Janis: should thank us Janis: no one has ever been this buzzing Jimmy: except those lads when they realised they'd FINALLY 💀💀💀 Janis: you're special, babe Janis: not everyone likes it like you Jimmy: don't put that on your list Jimmy: makes me sound like a twat Janis: if I did it'd make me sound like a psychopath so Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: least we ain't made a list of the other dickheads we want to die Jimmy: length of it would be a nightmare Janis: and we're looking for less attention, not more Janis: school therapist can do one if she wants to chat Jimmy: bit rude she ain't introduced herself to me, been here ages struggling with this bloody paddy language barrier Janis: how dare she not want to start an inappropriate relationship with you Janis: Lucas doing all the heavy lifting for her 😤 Jimmy: am I losing my new boy ✨ or what? 😱 Janis: her cardigan collection means she's either celibate or a massive lesbian so Janis: you're still so ✨ I SWEAR Jimmy: Why not both? #dontlimityourselflove Jimmy: OH THANK GOD Janis: read that as #doityourselflove so, yeah Janis: must be what she's up to in her office, bless Jimmy: Be Lucas in detention an' all Jimmy: will have spent the hol practicing with them new ties so he's ready to go Janis: you better be here Janis: or my trauma is on your hands Jimmy: can't have that Jimmy: plays right into the hands of that gay therapist Jimmy: you don't know it weren't her spreading those rumours Janis: make sense Janis: did turn her down last time Janis: doubt she works commission for every fucked up kid she 'helps' Jimmy: I'll be here to save you, Joanne Janis: Ian don't move fast Janis: I've noticed Jimmy: he's got the 🐕 and 👶s to bring him 🍺🥧🥔 when there's no Sharon, no need to move Janis: so what's your next step Jimmy: body in the boot when I bring the car back? Janis: his or john/jane doe Jimmy: Sharons obvs Janis: duh Janis: we're framing him Janis: okay, where's she hang out Jimmy: depends Janis: when she ain't photocopying things Jimmy: she's always photocopying her tits, full time job, that Jimmy: what it depends on is which Sharon you mean Jimmy: but probably find any of them in the hair dye aisle Janis: all of 'em at once Janis: like confused blonde gazelles Janis: *blonde, with bad roots and tell-tell greys 😱 Janis: have to stack 'em up Jimmy: 😂 Janis: not a list, technically Janis: Sharon x ??? Jimmy: be weird seeing their real names in all the papers Janis: for your dad too Janis: can pin them on his cell wall Jimmy: Dunno what he calls 'em Jimmy: @ him Janis: I'm not sure I need to 💭 Jimmy: 🙀🙀🙀 Janis: bit late for the christmas card Jimmy: crack on drafting your new year's text Janis: Dear future father in law Janis: terrified Jimmy: *daddy in law Janis: 😂 Janis: even better Jimmy: do they not make new years cards? 💔 missing something if it's not 🖋🩸 Janis: you send the text before the rush hun Jimmy: oh tah, I'll make sure our kid gets on the tin can 📞 proper early Janis: yeah, little socialite will be well busy Jimmy: got a wedding to plan if nowt else Janis: don't tell him it's her 4th Jimmy: he'd never stop 😭😭 Jimmy: I'll 📞 him now, let Ian sort that Janis: nursery gets wild, what can she say Jimmy: gutted she can't come to the party 💀👑'd never survive her review Janis: 💔 Janis: have to arrange a play date Janis: 💀👑 n #2'd keel over 🤞 Jimmy: I'll stick in it the group chat Janis: make sure you make it clear there'll be kids there Janis: don't want them to die of excitement before we can do it ourselves Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not playing with them Janis: can't make me Jimmy: could but I won't Jimmy: you're my best mate, they ain't having you Janis: 😳 Janis: can I put that on the list Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: yeah Jimmy: so there's your answer Janis: what emoji means BFFs Jimmy: 🤝? 🤗? Janis: 🤝 Janis: I don't know what that other fucker is doing Jimmy: looks like when dickheads mime they're being kissed, do you know what I mean? Janis: well, we aren't THOSE kind of friends Jimmy: what sort are we? Janis: strictly 🤝 professional Janis: don't get any ideas Janis: so friendzoned Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: is it? Jimmy: have to be now you've said, won't it? Janis: not necessarily Janis: what kind of friends do you think we are? Jimmy: I weren't planning to stick a post it on your head Janis: might help you remember my name Jimmy: I know your name, Juliet Jimmy: dunno what you're on about Janis: mhmm Janis: my mistake Jimmy: not as thick as I look, remember Janis: I know Janis: mates, remember Jimmy: 🥇🤝 Janis: ✨ Jimmy: you gonna wear them for the party an' all? Janis: couple outfit!!1 Janis: I don't know Janis: it's gonna be all LBDs and sparkles so Janis: got to do better Jimmy: question is, shopping trip or crafting session? Janis: I've had enough crafting for one holiday Jimmy: thought you were gonna say one life Janis: and 😢 you like that? Janis: not very nice Jimmy: being nice I were about to offer to take you 🛍  after work Janis: yeah? Janis: 😇 boy Jimmy: never said I'd 💰 for owt Jimmy: steady on Janis: duh Janis: don't need money Jimmy: 😈 then Janis: we can pretend Janis: you will be sick of using your customer service 🔊😁 Jimmy: already am Janis: I'll come in a bit early Janis: you can talk to me properly Jimmy: you're being too nice now Janis: that a no? Jimmy: it's a what do you want? Janis: 😈 Jimmy: go on Janis: tell me when you're off and you'll see if I turn up early or on time Jimmy: [a time] Janis: sorted Jimmy: what about about now? Janis: what could I possibly do that was 😈 now Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: you're right, no chance of topping the 🦶📷 Janis: that kind of shameless reverse psychology will always work Janis: hold on Jimmy: don't need to be a school therapist Janis: bringing her up ain't gonna get you anything 🔥 Jimmy: if you can't give me owt 🔥 when you're under it from any bollocks going, what kind of muse are you? 💔 Janis: you get what you give, dickhead Jimmy: [gives her something 🔥🔥 obvs] Janis: [more risque pic back than last time, idk the scale but one up from whatever we did before] Jimmy: alright, I take back what I said Janis: you better Jimmy: ❌ Janis: 👍 Jimmy: should've said you were so 🏆 I'd have offered to lend you my 📷 before the killing spree Janis: I prefer when you take them Jimmy: that going on the list? Janis: I don't know if I'm that comfortable with the spotlight Janis: but you make me look alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: how you look Janis: nah, but I don't immediately wanna hide or flip you off so Janis: take it Jimmy: gutted 🖕💕 Janis: [pic of] Janis: anything for you, dearest Jimmy: 😍😍😍😍 Jimmy: there she is Janis: not been mugged by some random slag Jimmy: bit awkward I were so into it if you were Janis: yeah, she'll be fuming if she ever finds out Jimmy: our secret Janis: fuck off Janis: supposed to say I could never get mugged 'cos I'm so 💪 Jimmy: I dunno how many fake muggers there were, mate Janis: don't matter Janis: GOD Jimmy: were he there an' all? bit rude of him not to help you out Jimmy: such a good catholic lass Janis: he helps those whole help themselves Janis: and you might be friends now but known me longer so he'll definitely let me smack you Jimmy: wouldn't stop you myself, how could I when you're THAT 💪🏆🥇 Janis: 😒 Janis: shush Jimmy: walking wounded, me Jimmy: about to turn into a ⛄ Janis: stop it Janis: focus on finding a decent pub Jimmy: without you as my sat nav? Janis: why'd you let me go dickhead Janis: I'm mad Jimmy: why'd you have to? Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: they'd all survive Janis: I don't care Jimmy: I'll live Janis: yeah Jimmy: don't be pissed off at me Jimmy: 🤗🤗🤗 Janis: do what you like, mate Jimmy: *🥺🥺🥺 Janis: you're so annoying, you know Jimmy: I'll go back when you have, it's 🥇🤝 of me or some bollocks Janis: don't go back 'til you want to Janis: just do something that ain't freezing to death, tah Janis: I get why you don't wanna be there Jimmy: never ain't an option Jimmy: and the park's nice, loads of 🏆💭 Janis: okay Janis: that's true Janis: what you can remember Jimmy: that you offering to fill in the gaps or what? Janis: I don't know what you and don't 💭 Jimmy: could just tell me what you do, for a start Janis: could do Jimmy: so? Janis: we first went there after we ruined that bitch's shit party, yeah Jimmy: with half the other dickheads who left Jimmy: for a bit Janis: right, but no one's got any stamina so then it was just us Jimmy: feels like ages ago Jimmy: but all our 🎨's still here Janis: I remember that Janis: and it pissed it down, like school trip Janis: weird how it wasn't long ago at all, actually Jimmy: 🚫🌨 Janis: not festive but Jimmy: you were 🥶🥶 any road, I remember that Jimmy: had to chuck you a jacket Janis: you insisted, I remember Janis: as per Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: don't think you do 💭 Janis: was one of the many other lads I take there, was it? Jimmy: or all them sonnets Bill's got you bothering with Janis: if that's as far as your 💭 goes Jimmy: if that's as far as my memory goes, what? Janis: you don't remember as much as I do Jimmy: never said it were Janis: go on then Jimmy: I said sorry for being 😒 and having my own personal 🌧 over my head the way I would if you were really pissed off with me now Janis: what a nightmare Janis: making you say sorry all the time Jimmy: *not enough of the time Janis: not the kind of mate I'm trying to be Jimmy: why not? Janis: bit naggy Janis: bit more stepmum energy, that Jimmy: that weren't your reaction how I remember it Jimmy: might just be that the Sharons have done a shit job at giving out the right #energy Janis: I know it weren't Janis: weren't that drunk that night, if at all Jimmy: bit busy sorting that lass out for trying to make you look a twat Janis: n trying to hop on your dick, yeah Jimmy: that's every lass Janis: no need to flex, I've heard, like Jimmy: no need to 1. make it about me when it were about you 2. call me a lightweight Janis: 1. everything is about me, far as you're concerned baby 💕 2. clearly not as your 🧠 so clear Jimmy: clearly were saying you dunno what I do or don't remember a bit ago when you reckon you barely drank owt Janis: maybe you've got a shit memory Janis: not gonna assume nothing Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what? Janis: you're being irritating again Janis: what's your point? Jimmy: how am I? Janis: I don't know, just being pedantic and saying shit you know I'm not saying Jimmy: bollocks Janis: this is what I mean Janis: what's wrong, just come out with it Jimmy: nowt's wrong with me, I dunno what you mean Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: rewind then Janis: before you were using emojis solely to chat Jimmy: before we met's a bit far, Judith Janis: well they ain't my idea Janis: 💃💅🛍😘☕🍸💖 Janis: #inspo Jimmy: I get it, you want full verses Jimmy: hang on Jimmy: [writes her a decent poem cos just that bitch] Janis: where'd you steal that from Janis: I can't find it on google Jimmy: you won't Jimmy: it's from my 🧠 Janis: just now? Jimmy: sound more surprised, dickhead Jimmy: you chucked me loads of #inspo Janis: I am, sorry, like Janis: how do you do that Jimmy: what? Janis: say such Janis: 🤯 things Jimmy: just pissing about, me Janis: it's a skill Janis: you could use it for evil Janis: if you wanted Jimmy: have used it for 💰 Jimmy: at my school before Janis: yeah? Janis: 👏 Jimmy: no dickhead's gone above 🥔 prints Jimmy: had to do something to make it less grim Janis: you and your 🎨 temperament Janis: should do it here Janis: 💰s a 💰 Jimmy: massive language barrier Jimmy: don't 🗨 paddy Janis: gutted Janis: I'd help but Janis: need emotions and shit for that Jimmy: to proofread? Janis: yeah Janis: ❓❗ me Jimmy: nowt but going over it with a green 🖋 is it? Janis: depends how 💕 these notes are gonna be Jimmy: depends how 💰 they are Janis: so you'll do homework as well, sick notes? Jimmy: homework's a bit far Jimmy: unless it's about Bill obvs Janis: obvs Janis: you should do it Janis: you piss it out easy, evidenced loads of times Jimmy: know how to piss out a website and ads an' all, tah sir Jimmy: it's like he knew Janis: what a babe Janis: guardian 😇 Janis: don't put it on 💀👑 site, be a dead giveaway Jimmy: she'd have me doing 💌 for daddy Jimmy: talk about piss easy 😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: xoxo 👻 boy Janis: keep it professional, babe Janis: she'll never pay if you sound as thirsty as you do Jimmy: she'd never pay Janis: 😏 cold dead hands Jimmy: would need your 💪 Janis: I'd LOVE to fuck her up Jimmy: not just her, any twat who's 💰 shy Janis: you reckon I'll be 😢? Jimmy: *😁 Janis: exactly Janis: ☁team Jimmy: SUCH a ☀ you Jimmy: 💔 you're not here Janis: how cold are you? Jimmy: how northern am I? Janis: stubborn* Janis: pretty damn stubborn Jimmy: *💪 Jimmy: VERY is right Janis: I won't disagree Janis: everyone's 👀 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: it's rude Jimmy: why? Janis: I can't look at you ALL the time Jimmy: can if you want Janis: can't right now Jimmy: 📷 Janis: but then the second problem becomes the first Jimmy: ? Janis: can't touch you Jimmy: you've got your perfect 💭 recall from when you did Janis: have to do Jimmy: I'll 🏃 Jimmy: race the 🚍 back Janis: very classics Janis: bit after Bill's time but he's down Jimmy: are you? Janis: you know I miss you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: it'd keep you warm Jimmy: not for long if your mum won't have me through the door Janis: she's got loads of kids, won't notice one more Janis: you can come, if you wanna Jimmy: alright Janis: I want you too Jimmy: then I'll be there in a bit Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to have his car again Janis: yeah Janis: wanna take it for one last ride though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: I know Janis: redundant Jimmy: I get it, you just wanna hear it from me Janis: naturally Jimmy: it's a yeah, never not a yeah to you Janis: 💀 me Jimmy: as promised Janis: s'all I want Jimmy: so slowly, so painfully Janis: shit Jimmy: if you can't feel the whole 🔪 we'll just have another go Janis: death by a thousand cuts might seem a bit ambitious Janis: but I've got trust in you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: you are Jimmy: you Janis: but you Jimmy: you heard me Jimmy: you're Janis: you're more Janis: whatever you were going to say Jimmy: that's just you Jimmy: more than I can 🗨 Janis: but you make me feel so Jimmy: I should be fuming that you make me feel owt but there's no room for bollocks like that Janis: yeah Janis: like, I should care, be careful Janis: but I don't and I can't Jimmy: fuck it Jimmy: nowt matters but this Janis: fuck it Janis: if you're alright with it, so am I Jimmy: you're all I want Janis: then I'm yours Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I've got no words for what that felt like Janis: but 👍 not 👎 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: like the twist of a 🔪 Jimmy: 🥇👍 Janis: good Janis: you're welcome Jimmy: I'll never get there if you keep being so Janis: It's hard being quiet when there's so much I could say to make you Janis: but I will Jimmy: it's hard being quiet Janis: you don't have to be, do you? Jimmy: not the one on a packed 🚍 but Janis: I've got loads of practice Jimmy: I'm not putting it on my list but take your 🏆 Janis: you don't have to Janis: when we get to mine, there's places we can be as loud as we want Jimmy: okay Janis: warm, comfortable places Janis: don't worry Jimmy: Oi Janis: I know, you're VERY 💪 and even more Northern Janis: but I want you to feel comfortable before I kill you Jimmy: don't be making out that owt worries me but how fucking far into the middle of nowt you live Janis: I know, it's very inconvenient Janis: miss his car, like Jimmy: why didn't I just come with you? fuck's sake Janis: same reasons I didn't stay with you Jimmy: 🥇💡 us Janis: Don't tell the fans Janis: so disappointed Jimmy: far as they know we're never apart Janis: if only, babes Jimmy: 💭🥺 Janis: I am more bored Janis: when you aren't about Jimmy: that it? Jimmy: the full scale of your feelings Janis: shh Jimmy: you're less 😳 when I'm not about Jimmy: greatest 💔 this town's ever had to go through Janis: if anyone wants to disagree I'll 🥺 at them Jimmy: What kind of dickhead would dare? It's the sort of 🎨 that ain't subjective, soz Janis: you'll have to let 'em know Jimmy: 📢 OI Janis: 😂 just like that Jimmy: know what I'm doing, me Janis: you don't need to tell me Janis: but I am going to need you to show me again, like right fucking now please Jimmy: seeing as you were so polite about it, my dear Jimmy: what can I do for you right fucking now? Janis: just Janis: tell me you feel it too Janis: how much you wish I was there, or you was here Jimmy: I feel it Jimmy: the fans aren't the only dickheads 🤞 we were together all the time Janis: not my fault everyone else is shit Jimmy: 🤏 your fault you're not but Janis: you're not even meant to be here Jimmy: 👻 barely am, it's alright Janis: no it's not Janis: but I don't care Jimmy: it is, we can just Janis: just Jimmy: stick together Janis: yeah Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: makes sense Jimmy: good Jimmy: how much I like having you about is too much of a copout for the list Janis: when you're gone Janis: be more of a test Janis: always about now, like Jimmy: we're going together so ⚰ budge up dickhead Janis: shared enough single beds with you to manage Jimmy: might wanna stretch out a bit for the afterlife Janis: double plot?! 😱🥴 Janis: can only dream Jimmy: 👑 Janis: chuck ourselves off the same bridge, loads of room to swim about Jimmy: 🧜🏽 Janis: know I beat you so bad boxing day but it's okay Janis: can't drown once you're 💀 Jimmy: bollocks did you Jimmy: could've broken all my ribs and I'd still 🏆 Janis: the fact you've brought up your handicap speaks 🔊 Jimmy: of how 💪🥇 I am Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you're done being nice now, I get it Jimmy: 🦈 Janis: you don't like it when I'm nice really Jimmy: don't I? Janis: nah Janis: do you? Jimmy: you reckon you know my ✔ Jimmy: no need to answer Janis: if you wanna be my mate you clearly don't ✔ nice very highly Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: you were talking bollocks when going on about how nice you ALWAYS are to me Janis: by my standards Janis: too nice Janis: but by everyone else's, not winning no 😇🏆 Jimmy: 1. I give out the 🏆 2. no fucker else has any standards around here Janis: what's your verdict then Jimmy: on how nice you are or how much I rate it? Janis: both Jimmy: what's my verdict on you asking questions you know the answer to, more like Janis: 😳 you Jimmy: you Janis: tell me how nice I am, go on 😏 Jimmy: make me Janis: 🥺🥺 Jimmy: it don't work without your 👀 Janis: [🥺 selfie] Jimmy: rude Janis: no, I'm nice Jimmy: it'd be nice if you were here and I could just Janis: what would you do Jimmy: you know what Jimmy: I'm nice Janis: yeah Janis: I can say it Jimmy: might do but you can't take a compliment Janis: psh Jimmy: alright so if I 🗨 nobody's ever been this nice to me, you won't be 😳😳? Janis: maybe a 🤏 but you don't need to know Jimmy: I want to though Jimmy: your 😳 is high on my list Janis: because it makes me look so 🤓 Jimmy: it makes us even Janis: [adorable nerdiness] Jimmy: might not remember when I got on the 🚗 to tell you the story of being a twat but I do and when it happened an' all Jimmy: 😳 before it were 😎 me Jimmy: it's just something you can do, Janet 🏆👏🌹 Jimmy: to be fuming about but I'm not Janis: Then you won't be mad that I do remember Jimmy: 'course you do, you were 🙀 I were gonna fall off Janis: 'scuse me for not wanting to watch you get injured when I could have the pleasure of doing it myself Janis: not Lucas Jimmy: compared to him you're a saint Jimmy: but don't worry I won't let your shit nan know Janis: just not a watch in the cupboard type Janis: I wouldn't bring up the subject, she might assault you or something Jimmy: can't have that or any more time off work 🤐 Janis: 💔 Janis: the world needs it's caffeine and it's eyecandy Janis: can't be selfish like Jimmy: direct your 🎻🎻 @ my manager SO hard done by that I didn't do boxing day he's given me every shite shift going til we're in school Janis: what a prick Janis: what shifts will he be working, I wonder Jimmy: there you go with the questions you know the answers to, girl Jimmy: if it weren't a full time job pissing off Ian, what with him being so easy going and it taking ages to do his head in, I'd add him to the hit list an' all Janis: fair, did do that one for effect, babe Janis: they'll send him off to some over shithole and you'll have a new one in a month, s'what they do with managers, yeah Janis: not worth the 🕖 or 💪 Janis: other* Jimmy: 💔 it ain't what they do with Ian's role within his company Janis: a good sex pest is hard to come by Janis: keeping tight hold, like Jimmy: every other dickhead stopping at stealing 🖋s Jimmy: pisstake Janis: he must be good at whatever the fuck he's actually meant to be doing besides 👀🖐 Janis: try to be selective so we don't have no more famines n shit Jimmy: @iantaylor8 for the Q&A Janis: think I'm 😍 for accounts Janis: no tah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're gonna have to offer me something more to pretend to be 😍 for your dad, soz Jimmy: I'm alright for you not fake dating him an' all Janis: good Janis: not seeing how that would EVER make him wanna leave anyway Janis: such a delight Jimmy: when you 💔 him duh Jimmy: but it's still a no tah Janis: think of some way before resorting to that Jimmy: I'd stay before that Janis: I appreciate it Jimmy: me an' all that you don't wanna fuck my dad Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: right Janis: you don't look that alike Jimmy: I'll take that compliment Janis: you can definitely have it Jimmy: that'll be the nicest thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: even if I were about forever Janis: bit sly to challenge me to compliment you loads Janis: 🥰 you Jimmy: 😏 Janis: he's clearly just pissed he's past it, and weren't as 😎 as you to begin with Jimmy: we're all 💔🎻😭 he gave his best years to Debbie when there's loads of Sharons cracking on with doing their roots as we 🗨 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😢 I know Janis: yet again, SUCH a shame my ma's a natural blonde Janis: been a widow for ages, give him some tips Jimmy: for her Jimmy: what a bloody catch she's missed out on there Janis: 💔🎻😭 all over again Janis: 'tis the season Jimmy: 🤞 they've taken the mistletoe down in his office Janis: can he hang on 'til NYE Janis: such a lad, it seems unlikely Jimmy: the things that Q&A would be full of if you'd only crack on, girl Janis: I'm naturally curious, don't be rude Jimmy: 💀💀💀😼 Janis: you saw all the fuckers Janis: just more siblings Jimmy: and I had to tell our kid all their names Janis: 😏 Janis: unlucky Jimmy: you gonna stop pissing about and get fluent or what 🤓? Janis: oi Janis: give me a break, it hasn't ACTUALLY been that long, remember Jimmy: I get it, I'm no Mr Lucas 😭😭😭 Janis: who is Janis: 🏆 lifetime achievement best teacher ever Janis: anyway, I like it when you talk, remember Janis: only so much your brother and me need to 🗨 about Jimmy: I were more thinking about you pulling your weight when him and Libi 🗨 but alright Janis: how long did it take to learn it Janis: actually Janis: obviously you didn't before 👶 Jimmy: no different from learning any other, how good's your spanish? Jimmy: it's about how much you bother, have to every day Janis: makes sense, not like it's optional Janis: and my Spanish is pretty shit, Lucas don't teach it 💔 Janis: it's like Portuguese but barely know any of that either, shit nan being predictably shit Jimmy: what about 🍀? Janis: little better Janis: did offer my services in good faith earlier Jimmy: to answer your Q, still get things wrong and he's been about and deaf for ages Jimmy: but it says fluent on the CV, nowt else matters Janis: 👌 Janis: long as you got the basics down, he ain't 💀 any time soon Janis: might try it with my cousin Janis: she don't speak Jimmy: bring her on the playdate long as Libi won't be 💔 Jimmy: our kid could have a teaching 🏆 an' all Janis: her ma probably won't have that Janis: not Libi stealing my phone to come up with the excuses there Jimmy: she the one from church? Janis: 💀 crew's oldest member, yeah Jimmy: next time there's a catholic occasion, we'll steal the kid Jimmy: can't really stop us, her Janis: 🦴 as a weapon? Jimmy: better bring the 🐕 in case Janis: 💡🥇 Janis: alright, I'm down Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: you off that fucking 🚍 yet or what? Janis: how far have you even got Jimmy: if it was real 💕 you'd have got off to 🏃 an' all Jimmy: have met me in the middle Janis: thank god it's fake Janis: don't need us both aimlessly 🏃 about Janis: but I'm basically back now, so I will keep a 👀 out Jimmy: have a 🥃 if you've got owt left from that 🎁 dunno where I am Janis: put your location on so I can santa-track you Janis: know what you and 🐑 are like, you'll get well off track and well distracted Jimmy: nowt to do with your 👀 OBVS Jimmy: [does put his location on] Jimmy: Where am I then? Janis: you can compliment me when you're nearer Janis: well done for being in the right county Janis: 🤔 okay, hang on Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: I'm gonna get your dad's car and come find you Janis: may as well Jimmy: that's how lost I am 😒 Janis: that bus takes long enough Janis: I wanna see you now Jimmy: alright Janis: you didn't fuck up that horrifically Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it's even more classics that you're lost Janis: very goals Janis: really should pick you up on horse but fuck that Jimmy: fake a 🐴 when we tweet it, be alright Janis: as long as you're not feeling let down Jimmy: NEVER Janis: good Janis: so ✨ you Jimmy: I just wanna see you an' all Janis: 👀 at me long as you like Jimmy: very subtle challenge Janis: yeah, 'cos that's all I want Jimmy: need an even longer lens to stalk you from the north Jimmy: make the most of my 😍 dickhead Janis: 😒 Jimmy: what? Janis: nothing 'cept someone just got off at my stop so I might be about to be murdered Jimmy: Oi, I ain't falling for that again Jimmy: you're too 💪🏆🥇 baby, weren't that what you wanted me to say about the mugging? Janis: ugh Janis: so tough being this tough Jimmy: whoever that dickhead is can't 💀💀💀 you Jimmy: not part of the plan Janis: I'll let 'em know you said so Jimmy: 📢 OI Jimmy: my victim, piss off Janis: **fake girlfriend Jimmy: *best mate I've ever had Janis: oi Jimmy: ? Janis: meant to be scaring off weirdos, not being soft Jimmy: just claiming you, Jessica, if you wanted to be pissed on, you should've said Janis: got to draw the line somewhere Jimmy: I'll chuck you a pen Jimmy: can stab that prick with it after Janis: 🧛👅🩸 Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: don't fill up on him Janis: come on Janis: I could never get enough of you Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: Baby Janis: I don't want anyone else Jimmy: control your 🩸 lust for a bit longer, tah very much Jimmy: you can have all mine Janis: you know you've got all of mine Jimmy: hurry up and come here Janis: I am, I swear Jimmy: on what? Janis: my 👀s? Jimmy: both of them? Jimmy: if I have to craft you an eye patch I might as well fucking sign up for Pinterest Jimmy: be that mum Janis: do you have a preference? Janis: bit weird Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: you do not Janis: you're taking the piss now Jimmy: am I? Jimmy: not telling you now, mate Janis: 😣 Jimmy: do you want me to have a favourite one? Janis: that's no sort of answer Jimmy: it's a question for you to answer, so go on Janis: I don't think you do Janis: but I wouldn't be mad if you did Jimmy: it's the one on my left Janis: I'm gonna have to stop to look Janis: and then look at yours when you get here Jimmy: no #hate to the other one Jimmy: it's just Janis: you're just Jimmy: I don't know how to explain Janis: you don't need to Janis: I get it Jimmy: might be able to get your head round it if you have a look Jimmy: no good with words, me Janis: it IS weird but I feel it too Janis: I've 👀 at you enough to have favourites and 👀 things that it feels Janis: 😳 to admit to noticing Jimmy: I thought you were gonna say you'd looked at yourself enough to have a favourite eye Janis: charming 😂 Jimmy: probably don't spread that about, babe Jimmy: I mean, I get it, if I were you'd I'd be in the mirror all the time an' all but Janis: you know what you look like Janis: #bigheadconfirmed Jimmy: I never said I don't look at myself loads in every shiny surface of the CG Jimmy: what else am I gonna 👀 @ the customers?! I'm alright for that Janis: don't blame you Janis: obvs Jimmy: so go on, you said you've got favs Janis: I am not giving you them all Janis: right now Jimmy: one for one Janis: fair enough Janis: your freckles Janis: the ones on your back, especially but all of them Jimmy: you should've said before now, I'd have chucked you a pen for them an' all Jimmy: be a bit rude of me to do it to yours Janis: I can use my hands Janis: not that I scratch with purpose or intent Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: I should 📸 Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I won't get a weird close up of your eye or owt though Janis: do what you like Janis: just leave it off the feed if it ain't #goals Jimmy: whatever we do is #goals Janis: just too good Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: alright, I'm getting near, stay still now Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: though that does sound like you're 🙀🙀 of sudden movements Janis: just mean don't keep walking and walk right past me/into the headlights tah Jimmy: not how you wanna 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: I'll leave it out Janis: you'll be glad you did Jimmy: never been a letdown, you Janis: don't need to big me up until I prove it Jimmy: I'm only saying you have, not that you don't have to keep doing it Janis: have to? Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: [turn up] Janis: get in Jimmy: [does obvs but not before opening her car door and kissing her because simply must] Janis: [pulling him into the car on your side so you're both in the driver's seat now, having a moment] Jimmy: [fully support that wherever you are rn] Jimmy: [telling her he's missed her in between kisses when he's capable of forming words that don't just come out as sounds, we've probably had to have a few attempts at it lol] Janis: [she's not going to be any better so don't you worry boy, probably just keep saying 'I' and 'you' and not finishing any sentences here] Jimmy: [it's a mood and we all know it, like he's been drinking from Ian's stash but not enough that we can run away with ourselves, he's already said a lot of feelsy shit here, we see you and your fave eye sir] Janis: [we've said a lot without saying it in a way that seems serious af but we know honey we know] Jimmy: [not even doing it deliberately so it hurts more when she runs away, the feels are just naturally high and things be progressing] Janis: [mhmm, damn you shit nan, why you gotta ruin it] Jimmy: [she can't, you'll get back to this lads and beyond it] Janis: [that's true] Janis: [for now, stay in this car as long as you wanna, then go back to the cali gaff and live your best life some more] Jimmy: [soz fam that they can't bear to be separated] Janis: [its lowkey a good thing anyway, you can take the car to work/back to Ian, at least she's at home, like we all know you'll take that] Jimmy: [we all just want you to be happy hen] Janis: [though we are suspish/triggered by you Jimothy, we're not wilding yet Jimmy: [soz about that Jimothy, Liam really did you dirty] Janis: [oh lads, the fact we'll never really know the truth of that whole situ] Jimmy: [we really did something there, I love us] Janis: [do you think anyone would watch the tapes before Libi? 'cos like Ali would wanna but wouldn't but I could make a case that Ruster MIGHT, which would be drama] Jimmy: [oooh yeah good point, I do like the idea of that drama because I am rude] Janis: ['cos they could still come away from it thinking he was just a stalker or whatever we want] Janis: [but it would potentially give some closure before Libi is old enough to watch and understand 'cos they'd clearly love each other] Jimmy: [yeah agreed, I definitely think there's a lot of potential there with what they could take away from viewing all those vids] Janis: [okay, noted for later honeybuns] Janis: [is there anything we wanna vibe for tonight] Jimmy: [I think we've done a lot and this is probably getting long] Janis: [coolio hun]

[rogue-barnes-16]

THE MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE OF NATASHA ROMANOFF (part V/?)

Summary: after the too convenient disappearance of Natasha Romanoff, the Avengers —a local biker gang— search for help in the most unexpected place in order to get their friend back. Will it help, or will the situation just get more twisted and dangerous?

Pairing: biker!Bucky Barnes x reader

Genre: angst-ish (biker gang au)

Tags:

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff: @shirukitsune @retrxbarnes @montypythonsholysnail

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @1a-girl-has-no-name1 @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125 @unlikelygalaxygiver

Warnings: language

A/N: I've been kinda missing for quite a while, posting something here and there, but I kinda miss writing regularly so I'll try come back to posting twice-thrice a week, but you gotta give me a bit to get some shit rearranged and written for that schedule to be possible. Meanwhile, enjoy this part of the series and if you wanna be added to the taglist, send an ask <3.

The mysterious disappearance of Natasha Romanoff masterlist

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I took a deep breath and threw myself against the backrest, waiting for the first location to load while my hands ran through up my face and through my hair.

A yawn escaped my lips as I checked the laptop's clock first, and the timer for the code to do its magic second.

Leaving the laptop over the chair where I had been sitting, I walked my way to the kitchen and poured myself what would be the fourth coffee of that morning.

As soon as I finished, I made my way to the balcony were I used to spend those early mornings with my mug held between my palms.

I took a sip of my coffee, resting my elbows over the small balcony's railing. My were eyes closed as I breathed in the forest morning breeze.

"So much for saying it was a one-night stand." A teasing voice behind me asked, and a grin tugged the corners of my lips. "You still here?"

"It's been two weeks since that." I taunted him, taking a sip. "get over it."

"can't get over you." He dramatically stated in his morning husky voice, which made the sentence seem way more romantic than I thought it was.

"So fucking cheesy." I laughed.

"Bare with me, doll." feeling his lips against my temple made my smile wider while a pair of hands traveled from behind me to rest on my hips. "this is mine." he tugged the hem of his jacket, which I was wearing.

I hummed in response, leaning my back against his chest. "It's chilly out here. I didn't wanna get cold."

He tugged the hem of his jacket eagerly, feathery kisses tracing a path from my shoulder to my neck "come back to bed" I chuckled at his eagerness . " it's still warm."

"I got work to do" I replied noctant with the sole goal of sort-of upsetting him in a playful way. "No time for cuddling."

"Please, Y/n." he whined, slowly pulling me away from the balcony to take me back to the bed. "Just ten minutes."

"It's not gonna be ten minutes." I retorted playfully, turning around to kiss his lips as we entered the bedroom once more. "You're not fooling anyone with those puppy eyes, Barnes."

He let out a subtle laugh "at least you won't get cold."

I shivered.

It was always a little bit too chilly during the morning in that balcony.

I felt the urge to squeal when a jacket was suddenly thrown over my shoulders as a reply to my subtle shiver.

I held it back, though, and instead, grabbed the lapels clothing offered and put it on while a tall figure made its way to my side "Drop the coffee, yunky." Sam teased, resting his elbows over the railing without sparing me more than a subtle glance. "it's like the tenth one I see you with this mornin'."

"It's just the fourth one." I responded, looking before me to avoid eye contact with him as I took a sip of the coffee. "It's nice to see your level of drama hasn't changed at all."

"it's good to see your level of sarcasm is still the same, too." I shook my head with a smirk I couldn't hold back. "I kinda missed that annoying sass."

"Oh boy, ain't I aware of that."

His amused yet brief chuckle preceeded a surprisingly soothing silence between the two of us.

"So" I looked over to him and, by the knowing half smile in his face as he watched me intently, I just knew what he was going to mention. "a boyfriend?"

"Hell no," I denied with a scoff. "we're not talking 'bout that."

"C'mon, Y/n." he whined, turning to face my side. "I won't tell Barnes."

"Sam" I pinched the bridge of my nose as all the bad memories from those last days with them came back around, as if they had been summoned by Bucky’s last name. "I still don't trust you. Any of you."

"Uh... Sorry."

"Like-- I appreciate you tryin" I explained the best way I could. "but we're not there yet, and I don't know if we ever will."

"Yeah I'm-"

I shut my eyes as the self-awareness of how rude I might have sounded hit me. "I'm sorry I-"

"No, no, I'm sorry, you're right." he sighed, rubbing is hands together in an anxious manner. "And... I know it's not my place to ask any of this, but-" he took a split second to measure his words before speaking. "You're happy with him, right?"

I frowned, not at the question itself, but at what was carefully hidden behind it. "what d'ya mean?"

"I mean, you're with him because he makes you happy, right?"

"Wilson, why the fuck would I be with him if he didn't?" I inquired, now turning around to face him as my tone turned more hostile each passing second.

"I shouldn't be sayin' this but-"

"But you're gonna say it anyway." I finished. He opened his mouth a couple of times but nothing came out. "C'mon, what d'ya mean?"

"Listen-" he glanced around before continuing the sentence he had just started. "I'm just sayin I hope it's 'cause you're happy together and not 'cause of Bucky."

We eyeballed each other for a hot second while the anger built up inside me, making it so damn hard for me not to explode.

"Y'know what? I'm not havin' it." I stated, stepping away from the balcony in order to reach the living room.

"That's not an answer."

"You don't fuckin' deserve one." I hissed, grabbing the laptop to finish what was left to do as quickly as I could, now eager to flee out of there.

How dare him? I thought to myself. Who the fuck gave him the right to say shit like that.

The moment I was done with the laptop, I smacked it shut and, picking up my jacket, I rushed downstairs.

I was so inside my thoughts that I ended up bumping into Bucky on my way out, which left us both with barely enough balance to avoid falling down the stairs.

"Shit- sorry."

"Don't worry." he let go of my forearms, which I didn't know he was holding, and I shockingly enough, had to do the same, since I gripped his arms to avoid falling. "You okay?"

"Yeah- I mean..." I puffed, affirming with my head. "I'm fine."

"I..." I stared into his eyes for a moment, watching him trying to read me in order to find out what was wrong. "You sure?" I only nodded as his worried irises observed me. "you finished?"

"Yeah, everything's set in the laptop already." he mumbled an 'alright' and stepped aside, freeing the way for me to exit. "I... I really hope you find her."

"I'll call you if I need your help again." he answered, and, right after, attempted to climb upstairs.

"Bucky wait!" I followed him just to be close enough to be able to grab his hand, which made his whole body tense. "I changed my number." I explained whilst getting a pen out of my pocket to scribble my new number on his palm. "there it goes." I let go of him with a pang of sadness that I wouldn't even admit to myself. "keep me updated." I requested, trying my best to ignore the tinge of red creeping up his neck and ears.

"Okay. Have a good time with your boyfriend." what was meant to be a smile ended up as a pursed lip, and I couldn't blame him since I felt my mouth doing the same gesture as I climbed downstairs to the door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

BUCKY'S P. O. V.

I double checked Natasha's phone's latest locations, which Y/n had managed to get before leaving, before going back to the map in order to revise which were areas out of New Jersey and Queens.

"Hey" I spun my head to the door frame, against where Sam's side was now resting. "How's it going?"

"Uh... I think we have something." I informed him, pointing at one small area near the center of Manhattan. "I called Carter— I know, Steve's gonna kill me." I stated, anticipating whatever Sam must have thought of saying out loud. "She said Hydra's boys have been seen in this area for a while and--"

"I wasn't asking 'bout Nat." he cut me off, tilting his head to the side slightly while the faintest tinge of worry showed up in his eyes. "I meant-- y'know what I meant."

"What d'ya want me to say?" I questioned with a wannabe-careless shrug. "It's going. Just like it's been goin' for 'bout year already."

I took a peek at his face and I just knew he was about to explain to me how different it had been today from the rest of that year of me drowning in self-pity.

"Don't-"

"She got a boyfriend."

"Yeah, I heard that too." I replied sarcastically, getting up in order to reach for the phone again.

"What I mean-"

"She moved on, I know." I finished his sentence, starting to mark Peggy's number once again. "Can you focus on-"

Sam teared the phone away from me in a swift movement, which left me shocked for a couple of seconds.

"what the hell, Wilson?"

"Don't call Peggy," he warned me, locking the phone and placing it in his pocket. "Steve's gonna end you. And-"

"I swear if it's 'bout-"

"I wasn't gonna say that she moved on, you idiot." he snapped. "I was gonna say, don't do anything fucking stupid."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means she's not single." my friend warned me with arms crossed, no longer resting against the door frame. "It means that if somethin' happens and she doesn't stop it-"

"Nothin'll happen," I assured him with a sting of pain in my heart.

He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. "I'm just sayin'..."

"Sam."

"I'm tryna help, man." his reply sounded as a desperate whine. "If you do something stupid and her relationship goes south, the blame's gonna be on you."

"It wouldn't-"

"It will," he argued, lowering the voice before continuing. " 'cause it's easier to blame the ex who fucked her up."

"We're all adults."

"Yeah" he agreed. "but you're my friend and I don't wanna see you bawling and weeping for another year."

"I'll be just fine."

[thattimdrakeguy]

Look, I don't want this to sound bad or be misinterpreted, that's why I'm writing it to you, who are one of the few human beings in the fandom who take more than 5 seconds to think before speaking.

Look, I think I'm just sick of the timkon, I've never been one of those who ship but I just don't care, everyone can imagine what they want, it's just that in this case, it's just on another level.

I'm not homophobic or anything annoying like that, I was among the first to jump with excitement when the first Urban Legends request came out hinting at Tim's reveal.

It's just that I'm fed up, since it became official about Tim it seems that everyone only wanted it for their ships, it doesn't help that the timkon really is one of those ships maked because two characters are close so they should automatically be a couple.

The ship stems from Geoff Johns' TT era where none of the characters were particularly well written, I've seen people who literally only like that run because of the moments they assigned to the ship.

And the worst and what has bothered / surprised me the most at the time of writing this silly complaint, I really just cannot process that there are really people outraged and spitting billis at DC for not putting a ship that is not canon in any way in Titans , that simple, as if it were something real or elemental of both characters.

At the same level of those same people who want to make Kon homosexual from one issue to another just to stick him with Tim and throw the narrative sense in the trash, I don't know what to say anymore, thanks in advance.

Honestly, I'm right there with you.

I'm not sure I can say I'm sick of it. Cause really I'm sick of most of the fandom's stuff.

Because so much of the things are popular is just bandwagoning and that's it. Like I bet you, without finding whatever it is to jump on online, they would not still like it as much and may have a total different view even.

Some of the hills people die on are freaking crazy cause I read a lot of comics and they're often so off the mark it's honestly, so so honestly head scratching.

And I'm not saying this to be like, "yeah screw you TimKon stans", cause legitimately I'm not. People enjoying whatever is good as long as it's not morally wrong. Cause that just means people are enjoying themselves. Which is good in the end.

But boy, do I not get it from a fuller perspective. They were just suddenly best friends in a series without much good characterization. During Y.J. they got on better terms...but not really best friends.

Why...would they be? lol

Neither of them are into the same things. They're quite different. Barely shown just hanging out.

Kon was closer with Bart if I had to compare.

But ships and stans generally speaking. Always have insanely loud, insanely toxic people.

They lie, gaslight, bully, exaggerate, and go into denial about stuff to create this preferred image for whatever it is. Not limited to TimKon. Cause I mean in literally every fan base. In that way.

It's why I stopped being on as much. There's too much about stuff people don't know a lot about and won't let go of. And again I get it. But when you really care about them cause it's a comfort thing or that's just how your mind works, odds are you really won't like it.

I don't find the fun in lying to myself or pretending I find the same jokes funny time and time again.

Like, no, that's exhausting lol

Idgaf about some random dude with a strawman argument online tryna make me feel like a crap person.

"Oh so you prefer when Batman hits his kids huh??"

Like, uh, nah. lol

Just exhausted of fanon. Why do people forget there's a gray area? Sheesh. I'm not into stuff that comes from a janky source at best. I want to like actual content.

Anyways I find people that want Kon to be gay, as in loud ones not all of them, literally just want it for their ship. They don't actually care about the character/characters. They got obsessed with it so much that it's probably not healthy. I've yet to see someone that actually seems to genuinely like the character get so stressed about the ship.

Most of the ones that care about Kon aren't stressed about the ship being canon. Some ship it. But barely nuts about it. Some may want it. But they aren't acting as if they are canon and it's imperative.

That's my experience at the very least.