#i'm thinking this is like pre AoU?

[tomyo]

A silly post that turned into an essay on:

The Adolescence of Utena 🌹

So I feel like a lot of people generally agree that Adolescence of Utena is a continuation of the tv series (another revolution) and honestly right now I have kind of hazy memories of wanting to discuss the parallels of Utena and it's movie with Evangelion and it's movies.

However right now I'm mostly thinking about how AoU is kind of like a cancer. I don't know what word to properly use, overgrown, oversaturation, a virus but it is pushing things to the extreme with it characters. Now yes that's also because it's a movie but like there is a lot more explicitly to character relationships. When people have described the school as in decay but I think you could also look at it as the stretch marks of it suddenly growing beyond its shape (a puberty like sudden growth). If the space, the mob, the plot and the characters were all acts in a play then they have been boiled down to their essence. I'm specifically thinking of the instance where Anthy bursts the pipe for the dance scene and how empty everything feels outside of them. That the old rose garden is this forgotten relic and the new rose garden is the center stage shining above all else but unsafe with hidden ledges and no railings. There is no housing for the roses almost as if they are wild flowers that grew where they pleased.

I always liked particularly how Anthy was very forward in this. She doesn't seem aware of her previous life but she is much more in control than the last one. It's not good, it's not right but she is somewhat consensual in the incest. In a sense she catches previously always in control Akio of guard leading to his panic and trying to regain control by erasing both of them. Akio himself even is moreso the cliche of a playboy this time, extremely open with his sensuality and a cliche of a 90s heartthrob. I think there could be a statement to say it's also a good representation of complex trauma and grief. The pre opening credits start on what looks like it could be the moment after Akio killed himself which then jumps through the school to Bride Anthy kneeling before a younger looking Akio which previously represented his original chivilary and the concept of a prince (also in a sense a glorified image to idol). The scene could be read as a triggering moment where Anthy becomes chained to upholding her brother's legacy, a feeling that is disorganized from both grief, trauma, and a complicated love hate for her brother who was her abuser. The siblings in other media are implied to be gods and with Akio gone, Anthy is left to both uphold his part as the mastermind while also being the bride. She is baring a heavier load.

I would say AoU is much more about Anthy than Utena. The overgrowth could also be similar to a sheltered child to is given control. They go a little overboard. She seems both exploring the freedom to control the space but also falls back into her role and will go from her playful run to Saonji to still and emotionless when he caresses her face. It's like this switch between knowing she can do what she wants if she wanted to and then regressing into guilt over being "bad" for falling of from what she's expected to do. At points it almost like she wants Utena to punish her for perceived wrong doings. When they find her brother's body she buried she seems maybe annoyed but not worried or defensive of her actions, keeping focus on having Utena do whatever she wants with her. That in itself in a thing; I would say to some extent tv Anthy is meant to come off as an ideal Japanese wife, someone who has strong integrity but is subservient and a half step behind her husband at all times. AoU Anthy is much more openly willing to please her betrothed like a service top. (something something cool girl monologue) She's compensating for her failure of her role to her brother but also trying to reclaim her sexuality as her choice. When Saonji takes a kiss from her, he is guiding but she is not hesitant to do it.

When it comes to Utena herself I would say she is passively influenced by Anthy while also driving Anthy's eventual rebellion. Tv Utena I'd describe moreso as tomboyish, she sports a men's uniform top but the pants relate to neither, a third option, where her hair is still worn long. She would not be mistaken for a boy but things like her becoming more feminine was an active manipulation by Akio. Again as almost to overcompensate, AoU Utena is comedically masculine and assumed male at first, her little side cap always go to me since it had become uncommon by that point so it came off somewhere between looking like she was a cliche delinquent or like she was cosplaying a male student based off of out of date knowledge. It's like the step to far into trying to present masculinity when you're first trying(I had to take a moment to cringe recalling wearing cosplay pieces to class when I first started trying so myself but all my suit pieces where mismatched). I might go into that more later though. I'm also a fan of the dub so I haven't heard the tv original but Utena uses Boku in the movie, a masculine pronoun. While she tries to prevent Utena for falling into the narrative at first, Anthy seems to switch back into her role the moment a spectator catches them, Saonji. However upon learning that Utena is a girl is the moment that Anthy asserts her own agency fully, she is now lowered to reveal her chest but willing bends back to reveal the sword.

Anthy specifically has two foils in the movie; Utena and Touga. Anthy and Utena are mirrors or grief for the prince they lost and are following in the shadow of. Utena's rejection of femininity is to replace the loss of Touga she's in denial of much in the way Anthy plays the mastermind to hold onto the image of Akio. However like Anthy who has to play the role of a bride/princess, Touga's narrative is also about how he had to please others in much of the same way. He was literally sold off (like Anthy is won) to be a son and sexual victim of his adopted father. From additional materials it's been said his trafficking is a constant and in part willing in order to protect Nanami from targeting. His appearance was decided to the preference of his abuser, played the part of a heart throb for many women, and was the idol for his sister and best friend. People pleasing it less overt than Anthy's. When with Shiori, he is depicted as a receiving and giving lover; exchanging intimate acts of ear cleaning and painting ones toenails. It mirrors the same almost motherly but sexual nature Anthy presents to Utena; willing to bare Utena's anger by lovingly nuzzling her hair.

Again I got to cut away to say the dance scene always causes a panging in my chest Knowing how those roses falling with the song lingering on into the following day was meant to absolutely stun theater goers 20 some odd years ago. Its gives me this indescribable longing when it fades to the next scene every time.

Back to plot stuff, the stair scene is a great metaphor for how Anthy is pushing Utena along. Up until that point the story has been; the two meet, Anthy chooses to help Utena win her, she offers herself explicitly but is rejected, and then coyly flirts with Touga to rile up Utena. I would say at point Anthy's attitude is representative of a pushy girlfriend. She keeps trying to make Utena fall for her, first passive but explicit and willing to lead, gets rejected so she ignores Utena's command to leave in favor of diverting her by discussing her clothes and reengaging by intimately laying into her, and then once again taking being pushed away in stride. Being very casual and giggly with Touga feels out of character in the way it feels intentional to make Utena jealous. Albeit instead it pushed Utena to crack over Touga being different who is where is current affection lies (it's hard to love someone else is you haven't let go of who you lost). Before the full confrontation Anthy almost seems depressive, one of the scenes resembling her TV suicide attempt. While Utena is at first aggressive and distrusting of Anthy at the start of it, it seems like the moment of honesty was at least some step towards intimacy (emotionally) that Anthy was grasping for. (Haha man I could also get distracted talking about Utena being the hilariously accurate example of a clingy affectionate butch but that's really off topic) Utena is finally engaging with Anthy encouraging her to assert her dominance more. They're obviously drawing partners, she doesn't need to ask Utena to come along because she just will if she doesn't give Utena a chance to argue, and she has domain over where they can go in the school.

To be real at this point I'm watching subbless Japanese to remind of me stuff so I don't remember Utena's full ramble (I think some friendship speech like girl) but you can tell by the fact that Anthy is letting her image slip by willingly changing her body language to suggest boredom or annoyance. She shifts from passive posing into something more confrontational as she chooses to force vulnerability with Utena again. Anthy previously would've easily held position as expected of her as an obedient bride especially this one who had been frequently painted by her brother. She not only 'switches positions' on Utena but chooses to take on the role of the viewer that she was often denied and uses Utena's own words against her to convince Utena to be naked for her (I mean emotionally as well, Utena's whole speech was suffocatingly formal again to my vague memory and basically full of shit). To be naked in front of someone in both senses is to also be trusting of who is with you. Utena is being put on the spotlight by Anthy; a large empty but public room with big windows and planes taking off outside, the exact place our instincts tell us not to be naked and vulnerable in which adds to Utena's stress. However I'm certain Anthy is navigating Utena into making it seem like she was asked to do the same. She brings Utena to a space that will inadvertently reveal aspects of her relationship with her brother and in some part she wants to be 'forced' to show the hole in her chest, the scar and trauma he gave her.

Returning to the emotional complications of Anthy. The turmoil of abuse does not end when the abuser is gone. And like I said Anthy seems stuck between wanting to change and punishing herself for changing anything out of guilt. She feels the responsibility of her role but also eats into the idea that she is the 'witch' of the story, not just from how that's what others tell her to be but how she sees herself as the cause of misfortune. "The curse of the Rose Bride" is having to live on with the scar and work that her brother offloaded onto her. The ugly truth's about her personhood including the things seen as moral event horizons. One could look at her constant provocation of Utena is to spur either the rejection and disgust she believes she deserves or to find receive acceptance that she does not believe in. Someone loving her like the way *the idea* of her noble brother did. The sight of Dios to me is in a way to say "a person who cares for you in a noble way.". It is the sight of someone who won't exploit her. And at that is interrupted by the truth of her brother's dead body. So she runs, literally tries to step away from all the progress she's made.

So two things we gotta stop to go over, the character design and the term adolescence. At this point I'm retroactively making my thesis be the emotional haywire we experience from two types of major life events, the growth into individual personhood away from our caretakers, adolescence and the processing of trauma and grief. Obviously I went over grief so let's get to adolescence. So tons of people have said it better than me that the whole egg quote is also represented by the school, highschool is the final barrier (shell) to adulthood. The point of being born outside a proverbial womb that one must be strong enough to do for themselves. There are many ways teens think they are mature enough when they actually aren't and blah blah highschool isn't the end of your life. Growth is not always a constant progression forward and you can easily fall back into a childish life. I remember feeling more adult at 18 than I did at 21. TV Akio's failing to grow came from the fact that he wanted "power to revolutionize the world" but did not want to bare the responsibility of the swords which in context represent the anger of all the duty he had offloaded onto his sister. The image of an adult who refuses to grow up and rather surround himself with teenagers who do not yet know better and so emulate him. Anthy at the end of the tv series finally finds the catalyst for change and so crosses the threshold of the school into the adult world to find her Utena. Escaping abuse however is also not a linear path either and people can find themselves back with their abusers again. Sometimes I'm between if tv and movie Anthy are the same person for aspects like this despite her not seeming to be aware of who Utena is to her fully. The school might be a cracked shell but they are still in this world. Adolescence if you have lived a life being told what to do is a hard and sometimes guilt riddled experience. You were never given the space to self actualize and you are expected to take over the controls leaving you struggling between how you want to live and how you were told to live. It is confusing to know what to do with yourself when all limitations are taken away from you. Something resonates with that feeling and the various frames from the scenes of young princess Anthy being stormed by the mob of expectations. They vary between guilded to silly with a macaroni like quality being made out of candy and match sticks and ribbons interspliced with jeweled and gilded ones. Anthy looks more childlike in the movie than the TV series and I think sometimes graduating to adulthood changes you to being somewhat childlike all over again. But the world has changed since last time, a revolution is what we call one year when we spin around the earth, a year to grow and change in a new way from the previous. You may start new but the world did change.

Maybe it's still to not have realized how Anthy and Utena switched hairstyles. I always did realize that Anthy now had straight hair and Utena's was wavy but it just hit me on the head that the way Utena disguises her hair short is basically a similar tuck to Anthy's but vertically. Basically she hid her longer layers by coiling them up into each other BUT THEN hiding the tuck her a boys length shorter layer. Anthy's dress is also the more stand out change of the two, the original was always somewhat unconventional but the movie one really brings a sense of modern fashion in its design; body hugging, a front slit, and the show off of a pair of mature heels. Anthy does look a teen trying to present as an adult. A princess is always seen as a childlike person, the 'daughter' to the 'mother' of the queen. I have less to say deeply about Utena's outfit sas the fact that the shorts I mentioned before invoke the image of a yet to mature prince, sporty but unrefined and still also childlike. I think overall the gakuran sporting more place and harsher contrast gives the feeling of mourning but as well bring a level of maturity as the patterning reminds me a little of high end fashion of the time. Again, children trying to play adults. (As I was writing the end I realized that Anthy's new dress is a merging of hers and Utena's pink one from the TV series) Somewhere long ago when I started writing this I meant to talk about how they're acting out a fairy tale but we lost that plot.

What is important now is that when Anthy runs, Utena follows. Even before she faces closure, she asks first where Anthy is showing how her priorities have shifted. Her final willingness to recognize someone she loved was gone is the exact thing that brings her to the level of Anthy who how needs to reckon with the same thing, the death of her prince. Anthy tries to backtrack and proclaim Utena the prince of the school (the ruler of the domain within the shell) and reobjectify herself to being subservient to Utena. Rejecting her adulthood in someways. But Utena does not indulge the narrative.

Throughout the TV series, Utena's journey is that of growth. From a flimsy ambition to resolve, to a recognition of responsibility for those she cares for especially in how the champion is also a leader to others, and finally to the self determination of sacrifice for others. Whether she knows so or not, episode 1 Utena wanted to be a prince for selfish reasons. She wanted to become a prince because she believed the prince gave her a will to live. But she never took enough responsibility for others feelings, shirking Wakaba's feelings and staying aloof to everyone and even the gravity of being Anthy's prince. She had to constantly be retaught that you can't take things at face value or be half hearted over every situation. Which is why by the end she rejects the supposed love of her prince for Anthy who she truly does love. And even still had to learn that loving that person does not mean they will provide the same back. Anthy backstabbed Utena because Anthy was conditioned to believe she could not be loved and only through Utena's full resolve could she see a new world for her. And we return to this point as Utena turns into a car.

Hey! it's time for that point where everyone asks, what's up with the car thing? Well simple, a car is an image of transition, of moving on. Utena, is offering Anthy to move on from her abuse, the trauma of her brother. But a car needs a key to function in the same way loved ones can only help you escape abuse if you have the will to want to leave it. Utena cannot simply make Anthy recover, she has to want the recovery.

There are many ways you may struggle to change, the cycle of repetition and pattern is least resistant to others. But there are also those willing to support you on your journey of growth if you continue forward. The final barrier in the way of Anthy ultimately is her brother, less of a ghost as much as a concept, the destruction of ambition to overcome what you've always known. The race to the outside world is maybe one of the most gripping moments not just for it's gorgeous animation but for the transformation Anthy goes through. Absolutely refusing before haphazardly taking the leap into Utena as it dawns on her she can escape, to crying for Utena to save her when she's overwhelmed, to refusing to return to the comfort of the egg again when the hardest challenge presents itself, the castle thar defines her personhood for her whole life at that point.

Utena does not save Anthy, she shows Anthy that she can save herself. A person who was always told she was defined in relation to her betrothed and her brother and her role as a witch is given self actualization. To grow from adolescence to to self actualize, to become an adult finally responsible for all your agency. To overcome trauma is to reclaim you agency and identity for yourself. To revolutionize the world starts with a personal revolution.

I'm tomyo and thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Additional notes: Japanese Akio's voice sounds kinda pathetic like I could punch the dude from how wimpy he sounds at points and I kinda love that. Again Im a particular fan of the English cast but I noticed this more this time. Also missed fitting in how the duels now take place in the open but all the students watch disinterested playing into some of the "this is a play by Anthy" allusions I wanted to initially make. I was really gonna keep this to just being "oooh I get why it's called the adolescence now" but then literally I also had a grief realization too and well... My final thought is that I learned to really love Anthy. I think Americans tend to not feel too strongly on her because we aren't taught a high level of emotional consideration and at some point it really felt like Anthy only ever got in art in relation to Utena ironically enforcing the same treatment she experienced in the story. I'm not free of this either having previously thought "ah yes, I am non binary ofc I relate to Utena..... right?". Wrong, it's Wakaba hahaha. But it's taken a while how much Anthy means to me especially in hindsight my first gay dream was specifically about movie Anthy which I just ignored for years. If anything I want to bring more love to her one day, she deserves so much more than she's given!

[chalkrevelations]

Oh. Oh, dear.

So I'm actually looking in on We Are, and I think I'm just going to have to file this under "not my bag."

I am. Oh. Oh, I'm literally only watching for the Winny and Satang bits, already. Their characters are genuinely the only couple thing I'm actually enjoying? Mn, I'm kind of OK with Ciize's Obligatory Female Side Character, but we only see her for 1.36 minutes per ep, so it certainly would not be enough to keep me watching.

I can see why they went ahead and gave me a scene of Toey making cow eyes at Q while Q guides Toey's hand through shading three minutes into the first ep, because the promise of more of that is, tbqh, the only thing that got me through that interminable, excruciating drinking/drunk sequence that then took up a good third of Ep 1.

I can see why they dangled the drunken lap nap in front of me during the preview for Ep 2 - because it is, again tbqh, the only thing that made me start watching Ep 2 - and I can then see why they saved it for the last six minutes of the ep, to string me along on the promise of finally seeing that scene. (I do appreciate them hitting me with the "Nong" as a reward.)

And I can see why they hit me with the clay tussle in the preview for Ep 3, because quite frankly, it's the only reason I'm getting ready to hit "play" on this ep. Particularly given the way they made it look like Toey is going to be a tiny bit more assertive. Not that I'm not living for watching Satang doing ... what is the Thai equivalent of saijiao, because I'm not entirely sure it's reached the actual level of bratting? Yet? Or maybe it has?

Anyway, I'm not going to get my hopes up that they'll do something with a little bit of depth, character-wise, as we move into an artistic medium that we haven't seen Q work in so far, and where we therefore have the potential to see some leveling of ground, if it's a medium that Toey has more of an affinity for - even if I wish that would happen. I've seen precisely 47 seconds of this show so far that make me think it has any more depth than a puddle after a 30-second rainstorm (YES, Peem, simplicity can be good!), and I frankly have little hope of seeing anything further on that front.

So, here's where I'm at: I have no pre-existing emotional investment in a PondPhuwin pairing because I got irritated at NLMG about one-third of the way in and then fast-forwarded through the rest to watch the Chopper cut. I'm tired of GMMTV trying to hand me (Engineering) bullies and creeps who the narrative wants me to think are a-OK! no, really! - tired enough that I don't even care to spend enough time with the PhumPeem storyline to find out whether Peem full-on Penelopes that painting and has to re-paint it every night or if he just finishes fixing it and then lies about it, saying it's not done, in order to spend more time as Phum's "slave." I'm a tiny bit sad about all that, because I'm finding Peem 1.75x more interesting than what I've seen Phuwin do up until now, but I have zero hope that Peem's going to make Phum actually pay for being the asshole he is. I'm absolutely not the audience for the super-broadly comedic, practically cartoonish, bit they appear to be doing with Aou. And who's this kid .... Pun? - I need him to be at least one-half as stupid as he appears to be if they're going to drag him out in his pajamas, get him shit-faced drunk, and harass him while filming him for posterity - or I need all that to be an actual issue, which I do not trust will happen.

Also, the writing is ... not good. Particularly the supposed banter during friend-group scenes. Maybe it's actually translation's fault, how try-hard it all sounds, but with everything else going on, I'm not going to count on that.

I probably need to wait for a QToey supercut and just watch that, but I can't guarantee that will happen, so I guess I'm going to fast-forward through 8 more eps and hope the bits and pieces of Phum's smug, punchable face that I actually see don't make me throw the remote control at my screen.

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

OK, so Breckstonevalskier has spoken many times about how Wanda is never given anywhere near the same level of narrative protection for Westview that most other MCU characters are for the sketchy things they do.

While this is exceedingly true, we just recently had this exchange:

You can see what I'm saying, right? Was the only reason we the audience allowed Wanda to have a second chance because she was given narrative protection for Johannesburg, even if it wasn't 100% her fault? This is troubling me, probably more than it should since it's a moot point anyway, but I don't want to feel like a hypocrite for complaining that other characters get narrative protection but not caring when my girl got it.

I get what you're saying but the main problem I see here is that we don't know what Bruce saw when Wanda used her magic on him. All the others had their worst fears shown to them (going back to the Red Room, PTSD, another invasion and the demise of Asgard), so... what was Bruce's worst fear? We don't really know much about his life pre-Hulk so it's anybody's guess.

With that in mind... it's tough to apply responsibility here. We know Bruce had no control over what Hulk did or didn't do so I really don't want to blame him. Hulk's agency is a little tougher to discuss. And Wanda was the catalyst but... just how much control did she truly have?

With the others all she did was show them their fears, that's all. She wasn't controlling them, she wasn't managing their actions, she didn't point them in the direction of anybody in order to hurt them -- and let's not forget she managed to use her magic on Thor. If she wanted to cause damage and kill people, she would have controlled him, not Bruce.

Then there's the fact that at no point in previous actions during AoU did neither Wanda nor Pietro hurt innocents. So, Johannesburg kind of exists in a vacuum here.

I'd say this is mostly AoU's fault for not addressing this properly. I don't know if I would call that narrative protection though because I don't see the intent in protecting her, if you know what I mean. I just think they left it vague for no reason, and she does get confronted by Bruce later on. Is that enough? Dunno. Since it's a difficult situation to judge I'm not sure.

Perhaps there is one scene where she does get some form of protection and that's her moment with Clint in Sokovia where he literally tells her that it doesn't matter what happened in the past, if she helps them she's a hero. All the victims in Johannesburg are completely disregarded and if anything that is used to make the heroes sympathetic, so yeah.... that wasn't exactly a good call and they could have handled it a bit better, maybe with Wanda reaching out and helping in some way. But again, she should have been joined by both Bruce and Stark in that.

[no-te-lo-voy-a-dar]

I am here once again, bc I am having brainrots about the pack(TM) and I had to infect you with those thoughts as well. I am very sorry

So remember how the MCU's Doctor Strange got dropped into the a/b/o au/g&c verse? Cause now I'm thinking about the pack(TM) being dropped into the MCU- post Civil War or post AoU-

Just the thought of g&c Peter stiffening and snarling at MCU Tony who's just kinda lost bc the Peter in the MCU follows him like a little duckling- But this Peter is snarling and hissing, and there are these people are surrounding him, protecting him-And all these people are making weird, animalistic noises, chirping and cooing- making sounds that could not be made from human vocal cords-

All of them just don't smell right, or look right- The pack(TM)'s eyes glint golden sometimes, and sometimes they go to completely communicate in low growls and chirping- There's some hierarchy within the group, but none of the non-g&c characters can tell what it is-

The thought of Loki appearing before them, and the remainder/present Avengers getting out their weapons- and them knowing now that if Loki had really wanted to take over New York, he could have-

And Stephen Strange (pre-Multiverse), seeing the g&c version- with two formidable magic users-

And also, I want to see/write MCU Matt and Frank reacting to the g&c trio bc I think it'd be hilarious- Maybe after this meeting, MCU Matt checks up on his version of Spiderman and that cascades into Peter gaining a 'dad'-

I am rambling but I just wanted to bounce some ideas off of u, babe

yeeeeEEEEAAAH PACK THOUGHTS LET’S GOOOO please there’s no need to apologize

ohmygod the pack post Civil War in the MCU world would be such a fucking mess, although if they meet them post AoU i feel like things could have been better for the MCU group due scoldings of the Pack, so, for the sake of angst, let’s go with post Civil War (8

Tony would ABSOLUTELY think “oh they have a Peter too, this shit easy, watch me” and try to approach him all smiles and prancing around only to get a full on growl that sounds like a big dog about to bite his fingers off, but instead of launching at him, Peter curls around himself or steps closer to someone of The Pack, while the adult is most likely glaring at him. MCU Banner would definetly be fascinated by their bodies being capable of making such noises and would probably try to ask so many questions but R, Frank and Wanda do feel like it’s bordering on them being specimens or lab rats even if there’s no physical prodding so they answer very short and cut sentences until Banner gets the hint (NO WAIT, THIS BANNER IS ON FUCKING SPACE FIGHTING ON SKAAR LMAO, MAKE IT VISION THEN, AND RHODES THE ONE TO TELL HIM TO STOP jfc i forgot most of the lineups)

the idea that even non a/b/o world individuals can smell their scents is interesting, like its similar to how people get lingering smells after like, baking, or being near a bbq for half a day - the smell is faint if u don’t pay attention but it’s definetly there - the golden and flashing eyes is unsettling, to them all it screams wild magic rather than something else (perhaps Nat remembers MCU Loki’s blue eyes and how odd they looked) and the way they actually snarl and bare their sharper than theirs teeths? damn

Tony would probably make some comment about “oh, kinky” if/when he saw Matt’s bond marks and even tried to touch them and that results in a whole different mess of Matt being on top of Tony growling and no one from the Pack stopping him, ALL their eyes being golden and R and Frank are more like ready to ALSO jump Tony - it’s probably MCU’s Peter who stops the situation

ooooh, Pack Peter not knowing how to feel about MCU Peter,,,,

the Loki of The pack is very different and MCU people can tell it and yet they don’t trust them and are wary of them, and even if Loki is not affected Wanda and Stephen will cuddle their god and reassure him of how much they love her

MCU Stephen seeing a healtier version of his yet with more shaky hands and a softer look on his eyes despite the obvious maturity there - so many juxtapositions

okay but imagine the reason MCU Matt and Frank meet their Pack selves is because Pack Peter decided to follow MCU Peter and so Pack Matt and Frank are following him because “jfc this kID-” and end up finding their counterparts - who see them interact with Pack Peter and Matt wonders if his world’s Spiderman is the same as this Peter and so checks him out - tries to reach him...which is, harder, because this Peter is so blinded by his admiration of Tony...Homecoming would be different tho, now Peter knowing Daredevil has been trying to aid him and well...Tony took his suit, but there’s a whole mess to deal with, and Tony didn’t listen and maybe his other self was onto something....

have this wall of text back then úwú

[unsettledink]

A Perfect Fit - Kinktober Day 10 (Old Adages 1)

A Perfect Fit

Prompt: Size Kink

Word Count: 6176

Summary: Tony had no idea what Beck had been hiding in his pants and that— that is a tragedy. Because Tony needs to be stuffed full of that right this second.

(size kink, dick size, dirty talk, insecurity, 20ish Quentin Beck, belly bulge, bottom!Tony)

(Look, I don't know how 'size kink' turned into a whole mess of insecurity and woes of having a big dick either, ok? I sorted it out by the end at least. Tony's not going to let it get in the way of a good fuck.)

*

Tony hadn't really expected anyone to be in lab eighteen-b at this time of night, but he'd had an idea and the things he needed were there and— it's his tower, he doesn't need to ask permission to go anywhere in it.

He hadn't expected anyone to be there, and he really hadn't expected to walk around the corner and come across one of his employees jerking off. Tony freezes, not even processing the sight for a second, and then his brain is noticing all the wrong things, like how hot the guy is, how nice his tiny little gasps sound, how fucking huge his cock is. It's got to be close to ten inches, maybe more, thick as fuck, and Tony can't look away. He's just— he's always liked them big. The bigger the better, and that, that is better.

The guy moans, faintly, and opens his eyes. Opens them even wider, comically so, when he realizes Tony's there, and then he jerks, his chair rolling back as he tries to cover himself. "Oh shit!" he yelps, and then he's spinning around, his back to Tony.

"Uh," Tony says.

"Oh god," the guy mutters, and it sounds like he's trying to stuff himself back in his pants. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I— I didn't think, I mean I didn't— I shouldn't have— fuck!'

"Look," Tony says, "I wasn't trying to be a creeper, I just came down to get—" The guy turns around, and Tony should feel bad about the way his eyes immediately drop to the bulge at his crotch. The truly impressive bulge; that's got to be incredibly uncomfortable.

"Oh no," the guy says, and Tony looks at him— at his face. He looks familiar. "Fuck, you're Tony Stark," and Tony's obviously familiar to him. Tony narrows his eyes.

"Bank?" he tries. "Or— Deck? Something like that, right?" Handsome, whatever his name is, even if his face is bright, brilliant red, flushing all the way down his neck.

"Beck," the guy says, weakly. "Quentin Beck. I'm— shit, I'm sorry, I swear I don't— this isn't—" He rubs his hand over his face— not the one he was jacking off with, not that Tony notices. Not really. "Does this mean I'm fired?"

"What?" Tony says. "No, of course not," and the guy—Beck—glances over at him; wow, his eyes are a gorgeous shade of blue. No. Focus. "I mean, uh, don't do it again? Or be more careful about it next time? But jeez, I'm not going to fire you for that." Beck gives him a confused look, but his shoulders loosen a little. "Personally, this wouldn't exactly be my first choice for that sort of thing, unless you've got some sort of... lab setting kink? Is that a thing? That's probably a thing. But hey, who am I to judge, it's not like I haven't gotten off worse places."

"I don't— there's nothing hot about a lab," Beck mutters defensively. "I'm not into anything weird. I'm just— look, I'm always here and it's not like I have time to pick someone up and when I get home I'm dead on my feet, and I just, sometimes I have needs, okay?" He stops, flushing again. "Can you forget I said all of that?"

There's a point in that rambling explanation; if Beck's here at this hour, he practically lives here. "Sure," Tony says, absently. "Yeah, you're probably putting in a few too many hours. I can't really believe it'd be too hard for you to find a friend though. What with all your, ah, gifts."

"...thanks?" Beck says, frowning.

Tony blames his cock for what he says next. Or rather, Beck's cock, because he just can't get the image of it out of his mind. "You know," he adds, " you're definitely good looking and more than generously endowed, who's going to say no? I mean, it's not like I would mind a ride on that."

Beck stares at him, his mouth dropping open, and Tony replays those last couple of sentences in growing horror. "Shit," Tony says. "That's sexual harassment, isn't it. Pepper's going to murder me. Look, if you want to sue I can already tell you we'll settle easy. Well, not me, you know, lawyers, but seriously, don't let them try and shut you up for less than a couple hundred thousand."

"What," Beck says. "I— are you really telling me how to get the most money out of you if I sue?"

"Well... no?" Tony tries. "I mean, yes, I guess?" Fuck, he's completely lost track of this conversation. His mind is still just going 'but think of how it'd feel in your mouth, down your throat'.

"And you did say you'd want to— ride me? I heard that, right?"

Tony winces. "Yeah, you should probably forget I said that," he says. "Unless you don't want to? You know, suing. And. Stuff."

"I'm not going to sue," Beck says, watching him. There's a long, awkward pause, and damn, Beck's eyes really are pretty. "I— maybe I don't want to forget?"

He's blushing again, slowly creeping up. "Just so I'm clear," Tony says carefully. "You're saying you'd be... interested."

Beck licks his lips. "Yeah," he says.

Oh, goddamn, Tony thinks. This is absolutely a bad idea, but he's going to roll with it. He takes a step forward, and another, into Beck's space. Beck's a little taller than Tony; he catches the back of Beck's neck and pulls him in. Kisses him, a tentative brush of lips.

Beck's mouth opens under his when he presses a little more, his tongue sliding against Tony's, and yeah, Tony decides, he can work with this. "Right," Tony says. "We're going to need a bed. Come on."

The ride up to the penthouse should be awkward, but Beck pulls Tony right in against him, slides his hands up Tony's shirt and presses kisses all along Tony's neck, fantastic. Tony rubs forward, and he can feel Beck's dick, still at least half hard, all along his hip.

Beck was hot with his clothes on; without them, he's smoking. Sure, he's softer, not sporting a six pack or anything, but he's trim, broad shoulders and gorgeous waist and that cock— it really is a monster, just massive, and it's only getting bigger as Beck finishes getting hard, the sheer weight of it keeping it low, jutting out from his body. Tony's mouth is watering.

"Jesus," Tony mutters, giving Beck a little push toward the bed. "Take a look at that; bet you're popular when you find the time." Beck doesn't say anything as he sits on the bed, pushing himself further up, but his shoulders tense slightly. Ugh, Tony should probably watch his mouth a little. He's had a couple guys that hated feeling like all Tony wanted was their cock, had some sort of hangup about having more to offer than that. Obviously, but since Tony's never looking for something lasting with them what matters is what's about to split him open, not their winning personalities.

No point in getting into that with Beck though.

He crawls up between Beck's legs, settling on his elbows and leaning in, rubbing his face against Beck's cock. It's a nice cock, completely aside from the size, very pretty with a broad, defined head, flushed dark, not too veiny. He can't wait to get his tongue against it, sliding up under that ridge, tasting him. It’s going to make him drool like crazy, choke him, probably leave him voiceless for ages.

"Hey," Beck says. Tony glances up at him, mouth open against his cock. "You don't— you don't have to do that to get a fuck."

Tony raises an eyebrow. "And what if I just want to?" because it's not like he needs an excuse to want that thing in his mouth.

"I'm just—" Beck swallows as Tony licks him, and sure, it might be—is—a challenge but Tony's up for it. "Just saying," Beck finishes. "Don't expect to take that much of though. And don't expect me to come from it. It's fine if you want to skip to the main event."

"What, think I can't?" Tony says, and nuzzles down against the base of it; god it's <i>big.

"Most people can't," Beck says softly, like Tony is most people, please. "And I'd rather you don't throw up on it."

Tony snorts, but Beck's words don't match his tone. He pulls up enough to look at Beck, and it's unfair for him to have puppy dog eyes like that. He didn't expect Beck to be... hesitant. Most of the guys Tony’s been with that are anywhere near as hung as this are smug about— ha, cocky. 

Beck twitches again when Tony kisses the side of his cock, makes his way slowly up the length of it before he licks across the tip. "I'm not skipping over anything," Tony says, "but we can come back to this. You obviously haven't had a blowjob from me."

That earns him a little huff, but those eyes are still watching him cautiously. Yeah, he can't have that. He crawls up over Beck and taps a finger under his chin, tilting his head back. Beck's almost passive, just waiting for Tony, his hands coming up to barely rest against Tony's sides.

Whatever Beck's thing about blowjobs is, kissing— kissing he has no problem with. Kissing he's fucking fantastic at. He doesn't have any hesitation here once he figures out what Tony likes and god, it's been a long time since Tony got this caught up in making out. Beck's mouth is reddened when Tony pulls back, his hair messier, falling out of that slicked back styling, and his eyes are darker, all big and blue and gorgeous.

Tony goes with it when Beck rolls him over, pins him down and goes right on with the kissing; he's got Beck's cock along his stomach, the full length of it pressed into his skin, and Beck starts making soft noises into his mouth when Tony shifts, rubs against it. He's going to feel stuffed full when it's in him— he can’t wait.

Beck shudders, dropping his head to Tony's shoulder, and then he's crawling back; shit, what now? Tony watches as Beck down out between Tony's legs, and while he's not going to say no to Beck's mouth on his cock, he wants to be able to feel Beck's again, wants that constant reminder of its sheer size. Beck's got his hands on Tony's thighs, pushing them up a bit and— 

"Oh, fuck," Tony gasps. "God, yeah, that's— fuck," and looks like it doesn't matter what Beck's doing with it, his mouth is sinful.

Beck could eat him out for hours, Tony thinks, and that might just be his plan as it goes on and on. Tony's not complaining, not one bit, not as long as Beck keeps licking like that and pushing his tongue into Tony and moaning, muffled against Tony's ass. Not as long as he can keep his hand in Beck's hair, ruining it, keep pressing up against Beck's mouth; "Fuck," Tony mutters, "you're good at that."

There's a breath across his skin, a laugh. "You pick it up quick," Beck says, looking up at Tony, "when you need other ways to keep people happy." He's grinning, more than confident in this area— downright smug, and it's a distressingly good look on him.

He keeps that eye contact as he lowers his mouth again, pushing Tony's ass up a bit so he can watch Tony at the same time, and that is just too fucking much. Slides a finger into him, licking around it, and that is way, way too much, Tony pushing his head back into the bed, groaning as he stares up at the ceiling.

He couldn't have asked for a better way to be stretched open, couldn't have asked for someone more patient— excruciatingly patient. Sure, Tony was going to need some real work before he could take that monster, but Beck is going to kill him like this, taking his sweet time working his way up, sloppy and wet around his fingers the whole time.

"You've got actual lube somewhere, right?" Beck says breathlessly as he pulls back. Tony flaps a hand in the vicinity of the nightstand and Beck gets the idea. Comes back and slides his fingers right back in, big and warm and even slicker, leaning down and getting his mouth around Tony's cock.

"Oh, christ," Tony groans. "Don't you dare get me off like this. Wanna come on your cock, don't spoil it." Beck rolls his eyes, which should not be nearly that appealing even with his lips still on Tony's cock.

He doesn't, even if Tony feels like he's getting close a couple of times. Doesn't, and doesn't move on from his slow, lazy fingering either; Tony feels more than ready, soft and loose around Beck's fingers. "Enough," he says, finally. "I'm good, I'm more than ready. Come on, give it to me."

"Okay, okay," Beck huffs, and Tony feels like he's gaping open without Beck's fingers in him. Beck shifts around on the bed, Tony pulling his legs up further as he hears the lube pop open again, hears the wet sounds of Beck slicking himself up. And then— then it's against him, the head of Beck's cock pressing gently at Tony's hole, catching it before thrusting up the cleft of Tony's ass. Fuck, it's huge, probably the biggest Tony's ever had outside toys, and even if Beck's stretched him open to the point of obscenity it still might hurt.

He waits— and waits, and waits, Beck's hands spread wide over his thighs, his cock sliding back and forth long Tony's ass. "Quit teasing," Tony snaps.

There's nothing for a moment, another hesitation, and then a long, shaky exhale. "Right," Beck says, so quietly, and Tony glances up at him.

He doesn't look like he's having a good time, goddamnit. What is his problem? "What?" Tony asks, trying to soften it.

Beck drops his eyes, his hands tensing on Tony's thighs. Hesitates, keeps fucking hesitating. "Just," he says after a second, "this is usually where the fun part stops." He swallows, hard, breathing a little too fast. "Don't lie and say it's fine when it's not, okay? I'm not— if it fucking hurts, just—"

God, Tony feels like an ass.

He stares at Beck, at the tense set of Beck's jaw. He hadn't paid much mind to it till now, but Beck's young. Can't be much more than twenty-five, at most, and if he was a late bloomer—who's he kidding, Beck had to been a nerd—he probably hasn't done this a lot. Maybe hasn't had this go well a lot, and— what should Tony have expected, if most of Beck's partners have told him they weren't enjoying it anymore, or worse, lied about it when it had to be obvious they were hurting. If he’d wound up hurting some—any—of them, however unintentionally.  

Beck's fingers are digging into Tony's thigh, hard, and he won't look at Tony's face, and— Tony doesn't like it when his partners aren't having fun either.

"Beck," he says, and Beck fucking flinches. He gets his hand around Beck's wrist and tugs. "Come here."

"Fuck," Beck whispers, closing his eyes, but he crawls up over Tony anyway. Sinks down when Tony pulls at him, and he's so tense, right on the edge of shaking when Tony wraps himself around him. "Shit," Beck mutters, pressing his forehead against Tony's shoulder. "I'm sorry— fuck, I'm sorry, just give me a minute." He takes a deep breath, obviously trying to pull it together, and obviously failing when it comes out shakier.

"Beck," Tony says again, soft, but Beck cuts him off.

"I know," he says. "I know, you were expecting a good time and I'm— goddammit," and Tony can feel his jaw clench. "I'll— just, tell me when it hurts, okay? I know you probably think it'll be fine, but— I don't want—"

Shit, Tony thinks; 'when' not 'if'. Someone's fucked this kid up. "Quentin," Tony says, softer, sliding his hand up into Beck's hair. "Take a minute and just breathe."

Beck laughs, ugly. "This is the part where you tell me it's fine, there's other things to do, you're not disappointed," he says. "That I'm good with my mouth, so a blowjob would be great."

"No," Tony says, carefully, and this was just supposed to be a quick, fun little hookup. Why is Tony such a soft touch? "This is the part where I tell you to calm down. And then I tell you that regardless of how things may have gone for you, I've had plenty of experience with big dicks, and I'm not going to let you hurt me. I'm very fond of my ass, you know."

Beck doesn't say anything, but that's okay for now.

“Seriously,” Tony adds. “I know what I like and I know how to get it. I can handle you.”

“I’ve heard that before,” Beck mutters.

Ouch. “Yeah,” Tony say. “Yeah, I bet you have.” He turns his head, catches the edge of Beck’s ear between his teeth. Beck twitches and sets his teeth into Tony’s shoulder, and it’s nice that he still got some sass in him. “None of them were Tony Stark.”

That gets him a real laugh, if quiet. “I didn’t expect you to be so humble,” Beck snarks. That’s more like it. 

“I’m glad you can recognize it,” Tony says. “Seriously, I’m going to make sure I have a good time. You can count on me to pleasure myself.”

“Really?” Beck says, lifting his head and giving Tony a look.

“Watched that, did you?” Tony says, grinning. “I stand by it! It’s a good line!”

Beck watches him for a moment. “Do all the people you sleep with eventually figure out you’re a giant dork?”

Hardly any of them, Tony thinks. “The smart ones do,” he tells Beck. 

Beck’s relaxed a little, more from the banter than anything, Tony thinks. He always has liked smart-mouths. "Right," he says, and pokes Beck in the side. "Scoot over."

Beck rolls off him, lying on his back next to Tony. His hands come up when Tony straddles him, settling on Tony's waist like he can't help himself. Beck's cock settles against Tony's ass, massive, the tip resting at the small of Tony's back. Fuck, he can't wait; he pushes back, rubbing his ass along the length of it, slow. "Now who's teasing," Beck says.

Tony fishes around for second and comes up with the lube, half under Beck's hip. "Here," Tony says. "Get your fingers back in me, and make it as sloppy as you can." Beck's eyes flutter closed for a moment; yeah, he likes the sound of that.

Beck's fingers are big, but he'd spent so long on this already that two slip in like they're nothing, three with just enough pressure to feel. Tony doesn't really need this, but if it makes things easier for Beck to handle, he's not against it. It's not like he's suffering with Beck's fingers inside him. He fucks himself on them as Beck twists them, waits until he can feel the lube sliding out of his ass, until Beck's movements slow, distracted. "That’s it," he tells Beck, "get some more on your cock too," and the wet, squelching sounds of Beck's hand on it are promising.

Tony kneels up and gets his hand behind him, wrapped around Beck's cock, barely fucking wrapped around it. It's so slick it's hard to keep his grip; he rubs the head over his hole, back and forth, feeling the broadness of it, how it spreads him open even like this. Takes a deep breath and relaxes as much as he can. This is going to feel great, he reminds himself. It's going to feel fucking amazing once it's in him, on the way down too. He knows this.

He looks down at Beck, catching his eyes. Beck looks so tense, nervous, and no one in Tony's bed should look that worried. "Trust me," Tony says. "It's going to be fine."

It's— its so much when he presses the tip inside him. So fucking much, god; Beck's so big, so wide. It doesn't hurt, not quite, but it's incredibly intense feeling that stretch, that pressure and fullness inside him, even so little of it. He rolls his hips just the smallest bit, letting the tip slip almost out of him and back in, and Beck whines beneath him.

Beck's mouth is open, his eyes so wide, so blue as he stares up at Tony. This has to feel great for him too, like this, Tony right on the most sensitive part of his cock, and that's good. One of Beck's hands lands on Tony's calf, squeezes it gently.

Tony goes slow, goes so, so slow, sinking further onto Beck in tiny increments, up and down and further down each time. Takes his time with it and watches Beck the whole while, watches how Beck stares at him and flushes and breathes heavier, louder, with every inch Tony takes in. Fuck, Tony's breathing heavier with every inch, panting and starting to moan as it stretches him so wide, fills him up so much, insanely so. He feels oversensitive, like he can feel every single centimeter inside him, can feel the heavy pulse of it with every beat of Beck's heart. He's definitely never had one this big before.

There's a point where his legs start shaking a little, where he can't spread them as wide as he needs and keep control over how slow he takes it in; "Give me your hands," Tony gasps out, and Quentin's hands feel huge when he laces his fingers with Tony's, Tony leaning forward a bit and bracing himself against him. If it was anyone else, it could be risky putting that much on them, hoping they're not assholes and might pull him down that way, take away their bracing and let Tony fall the rest of the way in one swoop, painfully— but Beck? No fucking way.

"Okay?" Beck whispers at one point, after he'd gasped and jerked, pushing up into Tony a little. Tony nods, moans as he keeps going. It feels like Beck's cock is never going to end, and that's fantastic.

He hits that spot a moment later, that stop point he only gets with really, really big cocks, rarely, more often with toys. Presses against it, gently, and Beck's hands tighten on his painfully. "Stop," Beck says, his voice harsh. "No, stop." Tony stills, raising his eyebrows, and Beck shakes his head. "That's it," he says. "You can't take more, Tony, just— you'll hurt yourself, that's it."

"Quentin," Tony says softly, "it's not. It's— hey, listen," Beck shaking his head again. "I swear it's not; I've done this enough, okay? Trust me."

Beck's hands are still tight on his, tighter, and he's so tense against Tony's legs. Tony takes his time with this too, grinding slowly on Beck's cock, teasing himself and relaxing, not letting himself think of anything except how good it's going to feel. Pushes himself down a little more, and— there, there it goes, he can feel that shift, feel it sliding in further and further as Tony sinks down the rest of the way, his ass settling onto Beck's hips, shuddering at that sharp, shivery burst of pleasure. He moans, his eyes closing and his head falling back unconsciously.

"Oh god," Beck whispers, "oh my god, Tony— fuck, are you okay? Are you--"

He trembling under Tony, fighting not to move or scared, Tony's not sure. "I—" Tony starts, his voice cracking. "Fuck, I am so much better than okay." Beck makes a harsh noise, twitching, even that little shift feeling like a lot with Tony this full. "So much better," Tony says, can’t stop himself from talking. "Jesus Christ, you're so big. Fucking incredible, you don't even know— got me so stuffed full I can't even breathe, you feel so good, so good, oh my god."

Beck sucks in a breath, and when Tony opens his eyes, Beck looks wrecked. Looks ruined, flushed and mussed and dazed, stunned, and Tony's barely done anything.

It's a great look on him.

"I cannot wait to ride you," Tony tells him. "Fucking cannot wait to feel you come in me. You're already splitting me open and I just want you deeper. I can't remember the last time I felt this filled up, you are amazing."

"I'm— I'm amazing?" Beck sputters. "How can you even— you're amazing, you're so tight and hot and I can't believe— I cannot believe I'm so far inside you, I can't believe you like this, that this could feel as good for you as it does for me."

"Great," Tony says, starting to grind against him, and Beck moans, this perfect long, deep sound of pure pleasure that Tony's been waiting to wring from him. "Not good, great. What, you don’t hear that enough?”

Beck doesn’t say anything, just shakes his head; right, he probably hasn’t. Maybe hasn’t ever. “You’re so thick you’re pressing against everything,” Tony says. “Every single spot in me, constantly; I bet I could come just like this if I tried. And you’re so far inside me, deeper than anyone else has ever been.” 

He's starting to adjust to the feel of Beck in him, of that ridiculous, insane length inside him, that girth, so much pressure. Beck is watching him, his mouth open, and Tony wants a taste of that again. He leans forward, Beck rising up on his elbows to meet him, kissing hot and messy. Tony rocks on Beck as they kiss, little movements that still have Beck groaning into his mouth, fucking perfect. He pulls back, ready to get this show on the road, and then— has an idea, a really great idea, if he says so himself. If Beck likes the just the thought of being all the way in Tony that much, well...

Tony untangles his hands from Beck’s, leaning back and setting one behind him, against Beck's leg. Takes Beck's other hand and presses it to Tony's stomach, holds it there as he leans back a little further, shifts around, and— there, he thinks when Beck sucks in a sharp breath, right there. He grins at Beck, smugly, as he keeps Beck's hand there, right against the bulge of his cock inside Tony. "What the fuck," Beck whispers.

"Told you I was stuffed full," Tony says. "God, I am going to make you scream."

Beck licks his lips, so tempting. Presses his hand even harder into that spot and rolls his hips up, just a bit, but Tony moans at the feel of it. "Go for it," Beck says, an edge of something challenging in his voice.

Christ, that's great, he just knew Beck would be insufferable once he got his bearings. Fuck yeah. Tony snaps his hips up, Beck's breath catching, freezing in his lungs, and then it's on.

He should take his time with this, should go slow and careful and let himself adjust more. Should, and the first couple times he fucks himself on Beck's cock, he does, Beck making such pretty choked noises. But Beck's giving him this look too, this heavy, hungry look that's hot as fuck even while Tony wants to wipe it off his face, leave him unable to think. He gets close with the next rise of his hips, dropping back onto Beck fast, the full length of him so fucking good that Tony's almost the one that can't think. Gets closer when he starts riding Beck for real, working his ass on Beck's cock and this is going to ruin Tony; he can't wait.

Beck's panting, his hips moving in these sharp, short jerks, still trying to control himself as much as he can, trying not to hurt Tony. He still could, even like this; he's just that fucking big and something about that has Tony fully hard again, precome dripping down onto Beck's stomach. He's going to make this last as long as he can.

Which isn't as long as Tony's hoping, and not because he comes. No, it's his legs that give up first, protesting the way he's bouncing on Beck's cock, burning and starting to tremble, Tony getting a little less higher up each time. He settles onto Beck's cock the next go, giving himself a breather; grinds down, clenching around it. How can it just keep feeling bigger, wider? It's so deep inside him he can feel pressure in places that are entirely new. "Fuck," Tony says, "goddammit Quentin, you're going to wreck me. Going to fuck me up, get me so loose I'll never recover."

"Don't say that," Beck gasps, even though Tony can feel his cock twitch; that's amazing. The only things he’s ever had this deep are toys, and they can’t begin to compare to a real warm cock, to the person attached to it. "Don't want to hurt you."

"Did I say anything about hurting?" Tony says, rocking back and forth on him. "Did any of that sound like I don't want it? If I can sit down over the next few days I'm going to be heartbroken, you know."

Beck shudders, his hips snapping up, and Tony echoes his moan. "You're the biggest I've ever had," Tony tells him. "How the hell am I supposed to go back to something smaller after this?"

"Oh my god," Beck says. "You have the filthiest fucking mouth. Please don't stop talking."

Tony grins at him. "Don't you worry about that," he says. He clenches around Beck again, as much as he can and it feels like barely at all, like his ass has given up completely, too stretched out to even try. Beck groans.

Stares up at Tony, and there's this smile growing on his face, this— this fucking smirk. "You haven't made me scream yet," he says.

"You gotta give me a chance," Tony protests. "This isn't the sort of thing you should rush! I'm savoring having your cock in me." That's enough of a break though, and he is going to make Beck scream.

Maybe, he realizes a moment later, and has to laugh. "Alright," he says, "time for you to put in a little work." He grabs Beck's hand off his waist and settles it under his ass instead; Beck frowns at him, confused. "My legs are done for," Tony explains, and he cannot stand how hot that is, how much it turns him on that he literally cannot get off Beck's cock right now. That he's stuck there, impaled and completely at Beck's mercy, oh god. "So you're going to have to get your hands on me and fuck me on your cock yourself. Come on, get a good handful, you'll love it."

Beck gapes at him. "You— fuck, you can't— no," he says, pulling his hands away.

"No?"

"Try," Beck says, his eyes narrowed. "I want to see you try." Fuck.

He can bounce on Beck's cock a little, his legs shaking as he pushes up; can go a little further relying on his arms, but Beck is so big, so long, that Tony can't get high enough to lift off him. Can't even get to a point where he can feel the head of Beck's cock anywhere close to slipping out. "Jesus Christ," Beck breathes out. "I could just, just leave you there, just use you like a toy."

Tony moans. "Yeah," he says. "Fucking do it. Bet you can't even fit in a sleeve, but you fit in me, don't you." Beck's hands are on him then, cupped under his ass and raising him up; Tony goes limp in his hold, letting Beck do all the work. Letting Beck pull him up and up, until he's right on the tip, until it pops out of him, slow and loud and no, fuck no, he's never felt this empty in his life. He squirms in Beck's hands, feeling Beck's cock bump up against him, but not in him, not in him. "Don't," Tony gasps. "Put it back in me, fuck, need you back in me. Don't mess around, I can’t fucking stand being empty like this."

"God, give me a second," Beck says, and his hands are spreading wider on Tony's ass, his fingers catching at the edges of Tony's hole, gaping open so wide. "You're so open," Beck says, that snarky edge gone, just stunned and wanting, his fingers slipping in without even touching Tony’s rim.

"Please," Tony says, whines really. Tries to clench around Beck's fingers and they're not enough. "For fuck's sake, get your cock back in me."

“So pushy," Beck says, and then he shoves Tony over, Tony falling and landing on his back with a yelp, startled. Beck's on top of him a second later, catching his legs and pushing them up, and then he's sliding back in, one smooth thrust that's the best thing Tony's ever felt.

"Oh god," Tony gasps. "Oh fuck, fuck, just— yes," as Beck starts fucking him like that, pinning Tony down and taking him with these slow, long thrusts, almost the full length of him every time. Tony's going to die, he's going to straight up die because no one can feel this good for long. He's babbling something, barely even conscious of it until Beck kisses him, silences him and pants into his mouth as he fucks Tony. Nearly perfect, so near; "Harder," Tony mumbles against Beck's lips. "Harder."

He gets harder, he gets harder and faster and agonizing, these brutal thrusts that feel like they're splitting him open, like they could go right through him. He gets it and wants more, still more; like this, every thrust rubs against his prostate, Beck too big, too thick to keep from doing so, and Tony's going to fucking come like this. Going to just white out like this and dammit, Beck's going to make him scream. He clings to Beck, moaning, his eyes opening as he starts to feel that first unstoppable burst of feeling, spreading. "Fuck," he chants, “fuck!” and then Beck realizes, slows like he's not going to fuck Tony through it. "Don't stop," Tony manages, "don't— oh, god!”

It hurts, how hard he comes, hurts in the best way, spreading through him as he shakes and tightens around Beck's cock, comes on it just like he'd wanted since the second he saw it.

He has to tell Beck not to stop again once Tony's gone limp, has to tell him how much he wants Beck to keep fucking him, even as Tony whimpers helplessly with each thrust. "Not hurting," he tells Beck breathlessly. "Not— god please don't stop, need to feel you come in me, fuck it deep in there." He feels like Beck's turning him inside out every time he pulls out, is hollowing him out every time he pushes in, and it’s barely any time at all before Beck comes; Tony can feel it, can feel how Beck's cock twitches and pulses inside him, Beck shoving in hard. He can feel Beck's come filling him up even more, and he'd bet good money it won't work its way out for ages, so deep inside Tony it could get lost forever.

Beck's still too much of a nice kid; Tony thought it might have gotten fucked out of him, but post nut it comes creeping in. He tries to push up off Tony, pull out, and Tony's not having it. "Don't you dare," he says. "I'm keeping you in me as long as I can."

"Jesus, Tony," Beck mumbles, his face pressed along Tony's, talking into his hair. "Could stay in you forever, I can't believe how amazing you feel. I've never felt this good in my life."

"Told you," Tony says, and Beck laughs.

"Yeah," he says. "Yeah, you were right about that. You really could handle me. Fuck, I can't— didn't even know I could, didn't think I'd ever fit all inside someone."

He's going softer by the second, Tony feeling the lack acutely. "Screw not sitting for a few days," Tony says. "I'm going to be out of commission for a week. Incredible."

Beck shudders, turning to press his mouth to Tony’s neck, press soft, lazy kisses there as they unwind.

"I have to warn you," Tony says after a while, Beck having slid off to the side a bit but still heavy on Tony, not that Tony minds. "I am going to need a repeat. Several repeats. I mean, you can't expect me to be satisfied with anything less now. Not when you're on the menu."

Beck twitches, and Tony can feel him starting to smile into Tony's shoulder. "I think we can manage that," he says, and Tony is a lucky, lucky man.

[starcchild]

liars - bird set free, ikau one-shot

“I don’t like Greer.”

Carter snorted, her arms crossed tightly over her chest as she glanced down to her daemon - almost amused by the scowl-like expression as he kept his teeth bared. “I’d- I’d be con-concerned if you- you did, Alcaeus.”

The coyote shot her an unimpressed look, and shook his head as his muzzle slowly relaxed. “Be grateful you cannot hear the things she says. The brute has a worse tongue than Stane.”

Her jaw tightened at the thought, and she shook her head - holding herself tighter as they made their way into the woods that surrounded the compound. Obadiah’s words still echoed through her mind - his ridicule stinging far more than she wanted to admit. He wasn’t the first to point out her and her daemon were different, but whenever it’d come from him...

“Le-let me guess, she- she was ma-making fun of- of you for no-not settling?”

Alcaeus’s head lowered, and his ears flattened. “Of course she was. She was repeating what Stane said to you. Like always. I still think she should’ve been a parrot rather than a wolverine.”

A part of her actually wanted to laugh. He wasn’t wrong - while she couldn’t understand what Greer was saying, she knew enough from him that she seemed to only mirror Obadiah’s actions. Something that... wasn’t at all comforting. Alcaeus, while a part of her own soul, at least had a mind of his own. Spoke to her like he was a separate being. But Greer...

“I’m not surprised,” Alcaeus continued, “she’s just as rotten as he is. There’s nothing good--”

Carter inhaled sharply and came to a stop. Her heart skipped a beat before stuttering almost painfully in her chest, and she forced herself to keep her breathing steady. Talking negatively about Obadiah felt wrong, and she knew damn well her daemon was aware of that. “Enough. He’s- he’s not tha-that bad. You- you know tha-that, Alcaeus. He- he just... he- he has a- a weird way of- of show-showing it, is- is all.”

Her daemon stopped beside her and swung his head up to stare - his ears still flattened, and his lips drawing back in disdain. “A weird way of...? Carter, that can’t be--”

She shook her head and forced herself to begin walking once more - biting her tongue when she realized he wasn’t following. “We-we’ve been o-over this before. I- I don-don’t wanna ta-talk abou-bout it.” She couldn’t. She couldn’t acknowledge that... maybe, Obadiah didn’t--

Alcaeus quickly caught up to her side - slowing down from a trot to a slow stride as he trailed next to her once more. “Carter... We both know he’s a bad person.”

The corner of her mouth twitched as she held back a scowl of her own. “No- no one would be-believe us,” she pointed out dryly, but her voice was small. Far weaker than she wanted. Not that there was any point in trying to fool her daemon, but... she couldn’t bear to acknowledge the truth. It hurt too much as it was. The loneliness in her chest was getting harder to bear. “Jus-just drop it, Alcae-caeus. There’s- there’s no point in- in bring-bring it up. S’not li-like we can- can do anythi-thing to stop it- it, anyway. He- he does care a-about us, and he- he worries a-about...”

“Me not settling.” A low growl rumbled in Alcaeus’s throat - sounding more frustrated than angry. “I know. But he sure seems to have a funny way of showing he’s worried. Greer certainly doesn’t seem to share that sentiment.”

She didn’t respond - not in the mood to argue with him again. Not in the mood to dwell on the fact there was something wrong with them. She was almost twenty and he still couldn’t settle, and Obadiah was right in pointing it out. How could she be a hero - how could she support her father’s legacy - when her own daemon couldn’t find a permanent form? When she couldn’t even connect with her own soul? 

“I’m sorry.” Her daemon sounded almost defeated, and Carter finally glanced down at him in surprise - temporarily distracted by the ever-growing anxiety swelling in her chest. “I know I should’ve settled by now.”

She winced. “It’s- it’s not your fau-fault,” she whispered, and let out a heavy sigh as she reached out to scratch his head. “I- I know you-you’re trying, Alcaeus. It... it ha-happens, and it’s- it’s not a- a big deal.”

For a moment, he stayed silent, before he let out a snort, and lifted his head to gaze up at her wearily. “We’re both liars, you know.” He shook his head, and lowered it once more. The fur along his spine prickling. “You’re lying to yourself about him, and we’re both lying about me not settling being fine. It’s not. None of this is fine.”

Liars. Carter felt her throat tighten, and she turned her head away as well - crossing her arms back over her chest. Unable to respond. She knew she was - Obadiah called her out on it enough as it was. But... was she truly lying to herself about him? About Alcaeus not settling? About everything being fine?

“Carter--”

“Let’s- let’s ju-just go back.” With a sharp breath, she turned around, and quickly began to walk back in the direction of the compound. Unable to stand the quiet for much longer. Unwilling to acknowledge what her daemon was saying. Obadiah loved them both, he did, even if his daemon acted like a bully. He was just worried, was all. And Greer just... didn’t know how to reflect that worry. That was it. “I- I have wor-work I- I need to do- to do, anyway. We- we can ta-talk about this a-another time.”

Alcaeus scoffed, but followed after her. “Sure. Another time, then.”

She did her best to ignore the scorn in his tone, and the way her heart seemed to sink with each step. Unable to shake what her daemon had said. Unable to shake the ever increasing tightness in her chest as she forced herself to breathe. 

Liars. 

They both were, and she hated it.

[bedlamsbard]

Favorite moment in CATFA?

oooohhhhh so much of CATFA is so good; I don't think anything specifically is jumping out at me right now as an absolute favorite! so here's a sequence in it that I really like, and that's Steve breaking into the Hydra facility in Krausberg --

-- because Steve is playing Captain America. Why does Steve stay in his Captain America sweater? He has normal clothes; he's still an Army officer and we see him in various versions of the normal U.S. Army uniform both before and after he ~becomes Captain America for real, back when he's still with the USO as well as after he goes to the SSR. Why does he take the shield? It's not like he doesn't know it's not Army issue. Why take the "A" helmet (which is not a normal part of his costume, since he borrows it from one of the chorus girls)? He could acquire a ~normal helmet or even not use one at all, but he's doing on the fly adjustment of the Captain America costume to make it something that actually works for combat. (And some of what he does later ends up transferring over the main uniform.) Then once he's actually at the HYDRA facility, when he's interacting with people that either aren't Bucky or that he's not just punching out, he's still very much playing Captain America -- that's how he introduces himself when he's breaking the POWs out. When he's having his first interaction with Schmidt, that's the really interesting part -- because "Captain America" is also how Schmidt addresses him.

(I don't think Schmidt ever knew what Steve Rogers looked like before the serum -- there's no indication that he knew about skinny Steve, because he looks Steve up and down and says, "So Dr. Erskine managed it after all. Not exactly an improvement, but still, impressive," and I'm pretty sure the "it" is just the super soldier part, because the physical transformation is such an outlier as far as any version of the super soldier goes. If you don't know what pre-serum Steve looked like, post-serum Steve just looks like a really fit but otherwise normal guy. There's no indication that Hydra knew who Steve was pre-serum and possibly not even until he literally showed up on their doorstep; the surveillance photos are only of Erskine, not Steve, and Project Rebirth was running on such a tight timeline that it's very likely Hydra only knew the project was going forward but not who with.)

Steve goes out to meet Schmidt on the walkway like he's heading out onto the stage that suddenly isn't a stage, but it's still a performance to him; the "you've got no idea" in response to Schmidt's "impressive" feels like he's playing the role of Captain America, who is, to him, at this point still a role; it's not the much more genuine responses that he has to Schmidt in their later confrontation. And punching Schmidt straight in the face -- that's his "knocking out Hitler" punch, very showy. (We've just seen him punching out people otherwise.) He doesn't go for his pistol until Schmidt hits him back (or rather dents the shield) at which point he very abruptly realizes that oh shit this is the guy who's also a super soldier. All of a sudden it's very real and you see that realization go over Steve's face, the instant he manages to get space from Schmidt and Zola pulls the walkway back. Like, there's so much going over Steve's face in this scene, the whole time after Schmidt's punch all through Schmidt pulling his face off while Schmidt is giving his whole "You pretend to be a simple soldier, but in reality you are just afraid to admit that we have left humanity behind" speech.

LOOK AT THIS! because the thing is -- he's terrified that Schmidt is right (it's something that's only very lightly brushed over elsewhere in the films, the bit in AoU when Thor is going "this is not meant for mortal men!" and then hands the drink to Steve), and it's very much also the moment when he realizes that this isn't a role, this is for keeps, and he's the one who has to do it. (Not to mention the sudden realization that he and Schmidt really are essentially, at this point in time, two of a kind, especially because Schmidt himself acknowledges that.) He blusters up the "Then how come you're running?" but part of him is just panicking before he shoves it away to never deal with again ever, thanks, not ever, since just then he suddenly has something more pressing to deal with (not blowing up).

But I do think of that as the moment when "Captain America" stops being a role and starts being him, Steve Rogers, so to speak. The SSR would honestly probably be perfectly happy for him to not be Captain America and just run a ~normal commando unit, since having your top guy be a celebrity is not ideal for what otherwise seems to be a pretty top-secret unit. They would probably have preferred that. Steve is, presumably, the one who makes the decision to keep the Captain America parts of the uniform -- Steve's the one who decides to keep the shield, but he calls the shots on which shield he wants (Howard Stark seems to have made them all in a sleepless one night binge session; I have no evidence for this, but it feels right) and I'm sure he painted it himself. He doesn't have to do that. It's a wild thing to do. (I have a lot of feelings about the shield and how I don't think for Steve the shield is indicative of "Captain America" the way it is for everyone else, especially during the present day.) But Steve is the one deciding "okay, I am going to be this person and I'm going to be this person, Captain America, as I think they should be, not how anyone else thinks." And he puts those bits and pieces together all through that sequence, figuring out not only who he wants to be, but who he wants Captain America to be.

[elcorhamletlive]

☕️ Stony through the MCU?

Oh a juicy one, anon. I'm here for it.

So, I guess I should preface this with the acknowledgement that I came into the MCU rather late - like, pre-IW era - and that I had no previous attachments to any other version of Steve and Tony before meeting them through the movies. I feel like I should say this because I think this is one of the reasons MCU Stony hits for me while, for many comics!Stony fans, it falls flat. I came in without any expectations of how I'd like their relationship to be, and without much understanding of how it could be.

When speaking about Stony as a relationship, the question of them being or not being friends is often central. Because Steve and Tony are best friends in the comics, but they're really not in the movies. In fact, I think at a certain point, it's not unfair to question if they were ever friends at all, in the traditional sense. While they weren't always antagonistic towards each other, they also often weren't far from being that, either. Steve and Tony are built as very different characters who embody contrasting virtues - Steve represents an ideal, Tony represents the possibility to evolve through change; Steve embodies the past, Tony embodies the future.

Those differences are present in nearly every interaction they have, which, combined with the added backstory of Tony's father neglecting his own son to obsessed over Steve, creates a constant underlining tension that to me is just. so. good. They clash and mix in the wrong ways, misjudging and repelling each other, and yet. To me anyone who says they hate each other misunderstood the assignement, because there's so much respect and admiration in the way they talk to and about each other to others. And it's fascinating to me that all that doesn't translate into a smooth, comfortable friendship like Steve's with Natasha, or Tony's with Bruce.

To me it makes the few moments of honest conection between them - the end of AoU, their small exchange in the bunker in CW before it all goes to hell, Tony giving Steve the shield back in Endgame - all the more precious, because we know they're so fragile. They're tentative, hesitant. And yet, the desire for conection, the desire to reach an understading, is still undeniably there. That thread that connects them is so frail and yet so strong that, every time Steve and Tony exist in the same movie, their storylines are paralleling each other - most often through direct clashing, but also through more subtle theming as well. Tony's ending is making the choice Steve made forty years ago. Steve's ending is living the life Tony suggested he tried out. There's echoes of them all over their character's stories, essences. I find it beautiful, fascinating.

And I understand why others might not! It's still a very messy relationship, arguably with many more negative moments than positive ones, which is a sharp contrast to the stronger bond they have in other mediums. But in my time in fandom, I've found that it's the one interaction that truly appeals to me the most. Maybe I would have still shipped it if they became BFFs after Avengers (2012) and everyone lived together in the tower, who knows? But I was deeply touched by what we got instead, and I really, really appreciate it.

(send me ☕️ + [topic] and i’ll tell you my opinion on it!)

[themidnightcrimson]

I'm in my full deftones era right now, and I think emo Wanda would definitely listen to them. imagine spending the night with her in a room with dim lights, sit side by side with cigarette and deftones in your right ear and in her left

she's so adorable with that dark energy, I just... i think i'll make a playlist for her emo era. i'm trying to look her up on other works, but i just can’t feel the connection ☹️

how were you last week? ow i guess i don't know if you're studying or not... 🤔

pre-aou emo wanda would 100% listen to Deftones, also:

- come as you are by nirvana

- toxicity by system of a down

- say it ain’t so by weezer

- zombie by the cranberries

- the devil in i by slipknot

- nutshell by alice in chains

- karma police by radiohead

- where is my mind? by the pixies

SORRY I JUST WENT THROUGH MY PLAYLIST FROM MY EMO ERA AND I FEEL LIKE WANDA WOULD LOVE ALL THESE (personally i cant listen to them anymore cos they make me sad lmao)

also my week was okay!! i started fall semester a few weeks ago but it’s been chill compared to summer. how was yours??

[matchbookarmy]

Bend and Break by missbecky

Summary: The first two times Tony invited him to stay in Stark Tower, Steve said no. But that was before he realized that sometimes even the great Tony Stark needed help.

Rating: Teen

Why I'm Reccing: It's 2012, Tony has just flown a nuclear bomb into a portal into space and he's struggling to deal with that experience. Not only is he suffering from PTSD, but he's also suffering from the pressure of having to be the one to save the world from future threats (this very AOU idea written in 2012) because if he doesn't do it, who else will? None of the others can understand what's coming, because none of them saw the things that he saw.

Just like that, it was all there in front of him again, all those things he had seen when he had gone through the portal. The things he could never forget. The absolute black of the void. The enormity of the mother ship, blotting out the stars and everything in its path. The smaller ships and the individual flyers turned into pinpricks of shadow against the impossible bulk of the cruiser.

The brilliant flare of light and fire that had saved the world. The knowledge that he had succeeded, that it was all right to close his eyes and surrender. The peace of knowing that he had, at the last, finally followed the singular command that haunted him to this day: Don't waste your life.

This is a really interesting take on the post Avengers team dynamic. It's a slightly more grim, perhaps more realistic, and definitely more gritty look at what that dynamic might look like.

Steve and Tony are still at odds as this fic opens. Maybe not quite as much as they were in that scene from the helicarrier, but still very much two people who don't know each other very well, didn't get off on the right foot, and still haven't found a reason to try to understand one another better.

This sort of we're-all-still-basically-strangers vibe permeates the entire team. And again, while darker and less immediate found family than we usually get in these fics, I don't think it's an entirely unrealistic take.

The characterization here is really good. I mean, Tony's characterization is so amazing it makes me weep. But Steve -- this is a Steve who would get angry and fight with Tony for going off on his own to solve these problems (as in AOU) but who listens to Tony when Tony communicates his fears to him instead, and replies "I believe you" which are the words Tony maybe needs to hear more than any others. This is such a beautiful interpretation of Steve's character that somehow still feels very MCU-canon faithful.

This is definitely pre-Stony, so this is more enemies(ish)-to-friends.... but you know, I'll tell you, reading this back, it just made me desperately wish this is how it had gone down in the MCU. I fucking love this fic. Top tier fic, all the way.

~.~.~

Follow me as I make my way alphabetically through every Stony fic on A03.

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

WE DON'T WANT THIS, MARVEL.

After finishing a tedious eighth episode of She-Hulk, I believe I'm ready to talk about the absolute abomination it made out of this show, single-handedly. @marvelentertainment I really want you to read what I have to say.

Firstly... no beating around the bush, what was that video of Jen for? Is that really what we want for our female superheroes? I remember the same Marvel changing Natasha and Wanda's suits for a more practical approach. The same Marvel that was wading far away from the male gaze, the same Marvel I, among several other viewers my age, had come to fully accept, and all of a sudden we're back to where we began.

The first three phases of the MCU, especially the pre-AoU era, emphasized the fact that Tony Stark was a self-proclaimed "playboy" yet we never got to see any evidence of the same in the movies through media. We never got to see any videos, as such, of him being leaked out in the movies for the world to see. We see Jen discussing "America's ass" with Bruce but we never saw Steve or really any other superhero faced with such an unprecedented situation. I see the way one might say that the video travesty of Jen can be considered "unique" to her struggle as rising up as a superhero, and as any goody two-shoe hero, she is struggling. But is that the struggle we saw Nat go through? The struggle Wanda went through? The struggle Carol had to go through? Is this the way the earlier female superheroes paved for the new generation? I think not. And let's not even talk about how a majority of Jen's personality is defined through her dating life which is absolutely hideous given that she is a lawyer and probably has more substance to her personality than more than half of modern-day superheroes.

There could have been a million scenarios created for Jen to become a controversy for the public. They could have put out her online dating accounts, her browser history, maybe a video of her debating in proposition of something unacceptable like over-consumerism or climate change or something along those lines to show her questionable side in a satirical manner which would ring with the current vibe of the show but no. They had to make it a vulgar video of her. Why? Because she's a lawyer? Because she's attractive? Because she is a beloved public figure? Because in that very episode, she has a debate with Matt about the secret identity of superheroes and how they should be able to keep them secret to keep themselves and their loved ones safe? Is that the standard of irony Marvel is able to create in Phase Four? Well, it isn't very brilliant.

That brings me perfectly to my second argument. Matt. Obviously, because that was not what the character deserves. I am sure everyone clearly sees the stark contrast between him in the MCU and him in the show. In Daredevil, he's shown as practical, tactile, be it chaotic and fundamentally flawed in his thinking in some ways sometimes, but he is a strong character. In his MCU debut in She-Hulk, all that gets horribly parodied to an annoying somebody who projects the hardships of their life onto a new and immature, rising superhero.

Matt has an entirely different experience as a superhero, well technically, he's still just a blind man micro-managing the hell out of the most chaotic 220 square kilometers of NYC with whale-like abilities and his two sticks of determination but that's beside the point. The point I'm trying to make is that he is not a Hulk. Bruce Banner is. Yet he is written off in a scene as mansplaining and ignorant and gets scowled at for not being a woman. He offers aid, solace and reconciliation to Jen at a difficult time in her life and apologizes for something that is not even his mistake, yet she treats him like he is, quite literally, not the only man on the planet who could help her, because she is over-confident of how "strong" and "capable" she is. But no, only Matt can give her advice while actually just projecting onto her his self-destructive, dangerous and hostile lifestyle as a vigilante. Why so? Because he happens to become a potential love interest less than ten minutes later. Him turning from her opponent to an advisor, to a partner in literal crime to a love interest all in a matter of minutes! I still don't understand whether I should find this ridiculous or the fact that this all happened in a single episode, all thanks to echolocation.

The third and last problem and probably the biggest problem with the show is how it introduces into Marvel the leftist agenda. The way Phase Four has been so far is that it allows the female superheroes to walk all over the original male superheroes. The way they are shown without the sort of nuance the male characters have in the way their origin story defines them is.. inconsequential. In fact, the origin story of most of these women actually doesn't exist in the movies at all. I believe this video essay will be able to explain this better than I can as it delves deeper into the topic and explores several facets of the problem. The way we see Jen's training montage and the way she becomes the epitome of "Hulk-ly" glory is toxic and emasculates Bruce, but that is not the only problem, it also undermines his power as it implies that Jen is better than him at what he has been doing for over a decade, albeit she was introduced about half an hour ago.

The leftist agenda is most definitely introduced into Marvel to attract the younger audience and wishes to carry the arena of its viewership elsewhere as the old fans lose interest after the death of Tony, Steve, and Nat. But even after being openly leftist, I am not very satisfied with the imbalance it has created between the male and the female superheroes. There is still the need for the old struggle we saw alongside women empowerment, the Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor movies give us that struggle which is why they are legendary (although I am not very proud of Love and Thunder either). The way we saw the OGs struggle for their place in the world as heroes, even Matt had his struggle, also the Civil War drift and the way it established the MCU OGs as THE BIG ONES. That lacks and that is the entire heart and soul of the superhero movies, that is the reason why No Way Home did so well (because of Tobey and Andrew) but also because it has that old-school struggle that we see heroes go through, which justifies what defines them.

In a nutshell, Marvel Phase Four emerges as toxic and disloyal to the leftist agenda as well as its audiences both young and old with the release of the eighth episode of She-Hulk, and I truly wish they take the right turn from here because if this is the path where Marvel turns wrong, it shatters all the adoration it acquired from the last phases and even after what charade went down in this show, I still believe there is hope for redemption.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[maximotts]

1, 7, 30, 35?

Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

100% I do a lot of daydreaming and plot thoughts before I write. I tend to just talk about tons of fics and fics scenarios like... all the time everyday with my buds; I'm just a 24/7 daydreamer!

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

So this is from the upcoming mean emo!Wanda fic, pre-AoU so she's fully aligned with HYDRA:

 “You have to look after yourself, Wanda, please. Whatever you’re doing is dangerous-“ 

“Don’t lecture me on danger. We both know better than that,” Wanda bit back, grasping the hand that still tried to inspect her head until you were sure her nails had drawn blood. “Besides, I have you to look after me. You’re just waiting until I tell you what happened, let you patch up whatever injuries I come home with.” 

You hated when she talked to you like this, making you feel small in your own home; it wasn’t fair. “Fine then, I won’t do it anymore! Don’t come crying to me when you’re hurt and no one wants to be around you-”

You hadn’t seen Wanda move to grab you, but after you took in the new distance from her, you realized it was because she hadn’t moved. Red magic held your wrists to the wall above your head; as delicate the wisps looked, they were unbreakable. “You think I’d ever let you slip away like that? And you believe you could ever make yourself leave me?” Wanda’s patience had run out now, you could see it in her eyes. 

30. How much do you edit your fics?  Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

I tend to edit as I go, but then I also finish it and do a full comb through of editing which just ends in me adding a lot of words... this is what takes me so long to finish fics 💀

35. What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

That's such a hard question!! I think I have to say fata organa from DU because I really do love that series so much. I know it takes me forever to update it these days but it's just because I!! Love it so dearly, it means so so much to me! And pt4 is my favorite chapter so far. I think pt9 may end up being my favorite chapter of all, but we shall see.

[omegas-spaghettios]

Ranking MCU Captain America figures

Before I begin, I want to clarify this is about my enjoyment of these characters and NOT who i think are the best morality or power wise. I specify because I think my first two entries will upset some people and I want to say, this list is NOT in order of how much I agree with these characters' values. I have a heavy favoritism towards theme and character interaction and that is where a lot of my enjoyment from media comes from. So, let's begin.

6. Captain America: CW, IW, and Endgame

I'm separating Steve into two because around CW he starts making decisions that really frustrate me.

Now I do think there is a lot to like still! His conviction to his morals during the Accords and continuing arc about government distrust is great, his stand against Thanos in IW is amazing, he is a lot of fun to watch during the New York part of the time heist, and lifting Mjolnir was legit my best theater moment ever and i will NEVER forget it.

However, in CW he starts making some awful decisions. In CW, he kisses Sharon like, days after Peggy's funeral. While on it's own it's already kinda creepy, Endgame retroactively makes this even worse. It goes on to also have grave consequence because he and Sam asked Sharon to break the law for them and never followed through to help her, which was pretty awful of them. At least Sam tries to make it right in TFATWS, but since Steve left that wrong on Sharon never gets reconciled from him.

I also think that his decision to keep Bucky and Howard's history a secret from Tony was really, really stupid. While I side with him during the fight, the fact that Steve "doesn't like when his teammates withhold information" Rogers didn't tell Tony this then walked into a Winter Soldier facility with Bucky and Tony during the most strained time of their relationship was just begging for that conflict.

He is barely in IW and while his stand against Thanos is a great moment, his decision to not let Vision kill himself is very frustrating. "We don't trade lives" then he goes to Wakanda to let thousands of soldiers die while they try and get the stone out, really dude?

I don't think going back in time in Endgame was inherently a bad ending but things he does to make it happen really frustrates me. He shows no signs of mourning Bucky or Sam at all. And then for the sake of surprise for the audience, he never tells Sam what he's doing and that is so awful. Sam dedicates 4 years of his life helping Steve with a good portion of it being on the run. Sam was with Steve more during the present than ANYONE else. Then Steve just leaves without telling him and shows back up to drop a ton of responsibility on Sam that he didn't ask for. Now Sam is an amazing Cap but it's frustrating to see that a lot of TFATWS is fallout of Steve's bad decisions in these three movies.

5. Captain America: John Walker

Now hold on, I hate this man. I think he does some awful things, so why is he above anyone else? Just because he isn't frustrating to me, he fits thematically and has good interactions with others in TFATWS.

His character really adds to the themes and discussions of white privilege, Supremacy, as well as how the US military treats their soldiers like shit, and I think he is an interesting character to watch as he starts out edging the line of evil and by the end of episode 4 crosses it. While I think Bucky was overall a bit too chummy with him in 6, I think it was all mostly in character for them. Sam and Bucky were up against 6 super soldiers and Batroc in a highly crowded city with lots of important people, it makes sense to me that they take his help in this scenario. They also never leave him alone which indicates distrust.

I also really like the moment where he drops the shield to help the truck. He is a shitty person but he is shown as a person who at least wants to do good, even though any challenge to that he goes off the rails. It is such a black and white scenario, help the truck of innocents, and I like that he does it. It also adds to the hatred of him as a person because it shows he clearly knows better but chooses to ignore it, which makes him even more despicable.

I think it is very important that a man like him bore the title of Captain America because it reminds us all that yes, it is very easy that a man like him represents America as it is and that we need to do better than him.

I like watching him and that's why he's above CW on Steve because he isn't making aggravatingly out of character decisions all of the time and he works very well within the themes of the show.

With me loving him in the context of TFATWS, in later appearances he does have a lot of potential to drop to last pretty easily, but as of now when he just is in that show, I appreciate his character a lot.

4. Red Guardian

I kinda like this character and idk how to feel about it

He doesn't fit Black Widow very much so he is kinda low but I mean, he's just kinda fun. His story about Captain America and the USSR is pretty non-related to the others and rather undeveloped which is frustrating, and he does very little plot significant things. He leads Nat and Yelena to Melina and that's about it. He distracts Taskmaster for a while but he kinda is just getting tossed around until Melina shows up. He isn't very important.

But I do like what I see and do hope we see more of him. They never pretend he's a great person and I do appreciate that he gets called on it constantly. His knuckles having Karl Marx on them kills me and overall he's pretty humorous and fun to watch. He also has a few great moments thematically that I love. When he comforts Yelena after the dinner scene and sings her favorite song as a kid? So heartwarming. When he took Taskmaster's shield when fleeing the Red Room I laughed at his ridiculousness but it lead to a pretty great moment, when he throws the shield through the windshield without hesitation to save Melina. It's a great moment to show how he's letting go of his past and obsessions to be there for his family.

I hope we see more of him, his overall lack of importance and stereotypical behavior kinda holds him back but I see so much potential in him.

3. Agent Carter

As of today she has been in exactly one 30 minute episode, but what I see I really like. Her laughter of surprise when she takes the tesseract is really endearing, her sword and muscles and height make my wlw heart patter, and I do like the difference in her relationship with Steve in this universe, where they both are of incredible capabilities but neither are given any respect for how they were born. We get that in TFA too but I really like that it is a constant theme in this iteration while in TFA it gets dropped a bit after Steve receives the serum.

There is very little of her so I can't really put her higher yet, but given more time she very well may rise up on this list but she had an excellent first showing.

2. Pre-CW Captain America: Steve Rogers

This man is a joy.

He is such an endearing scrappy little guy in the beginning of TFA and I love his commitment to doing the right thing. He still very much acts like a guy who just gained 120 pounds of muscle during that movie and it's endearing. The way he grows into his own skin in TWS is amazing as we see him really step in to what he can accomplish physically as well as his authority and leadership.

His Whedonisms in the first two Avengers films kinda bug me, they treat him like an old man when he isn't. Biologically he's like, early 30's at most here. He grew up as a fighter in Brooklyn then served in the military, he wouldn't care if his teammates swear, but overall it's tolerable.

I LOVE this man's commitment to transparency. He struggles when allies are not transparent and he shows nothing but transparency and I love that that is a constant for him (which is why I separate him from CW on)

Everyone loves this guy and over 90% of criticisms I see for him come after AoU, and that's for good reason, this guy is so loveable.

1. Captain America: Sam Wilson

He's so good, guys

I want to talk about Sam before the suit because he is amazing before it. He runs counseling for veterans, a profession very becoming of a superhero and it speaks to his incredible empathy and compassion that is on full display. I also think the fact that he dedicated 2 years to finding Bucky is not appreciated enough. Sure he was following Steve but he still spent 2 years trying to find Bucky, a person who tried to murder him. Yet he understands it isn't Bucky's fault and tries to help him anyway. I also really like that he is the first to speak out against the Accords. He doesn't wait for Steve or anyone else, he sees red flags and he is out and I really, really love that about him.

Then I love how long it takes for him to choose to become Cap and how much he contemplates it. He has to contemplate the legacy of Steve, if he wants to wear the symbol of this country, the pressures of being a black man as Cap, the legacy that John added to it, the pressures from Bucky and the pressures from Isaiah, and also his own legacy he carved for himself as the Falcon. It's a huge decision with a lot of weight and so many people pressuring him but he takes his time and chooses what is right for him, and I really love that about him. These other characters are all Caps from near the start but he transitions into one after years of knowing him as the Falcon and I love that he doesn't take this decision lightly.

Also as Cap he's just really cool. His decisions to not take the serum as well as try like hell to get Karli to step down speak to his humility and compassion. And while many describe his speech as bland it's still uniquely him. Yes the speech doesn't solve any problems but that isn't what he's doing, he's asking America and the world to get to actually solving them and that is an aspect of him we don't see much since Steve's propaganda days, his direct relation to the public.

Also his suit and wings are just awesome, I argue his action is the most fun to watch out of any of these characters.

Anyway yeah that's the list, I know people won't agree with me so let's try and keep discussion civil, alright?

[visionsofus]

Wanda and Vision's Mixtape Masterlist (updating now)

cover by the wonderful @jjlover01​

Note: my inbox is currently open for prompt/ song submissions 🥰 (1-2wk turn around)

AoU to CW

#10 Death Stranding by CHVRCHES

what will become of us if we dare to dream? Wanda and Vision spend the night at a glitzy party for a mission and get jealous when they see each other with other people. read on AO3

# 11 Happy Together by the Turtles

the only one for me is you. In which Wanda and Vision try to deliver on a promise to cook breakfast for the rest of the team but end up goofing off together instead. read on Tumblr // AO3

#12 Where the Shadow Ends by BANNERS

put your trust in the light you cannot see. Wanda falls ill at the compound and Vision panics. Surprisingly, her illness gives them an opportunity to talk about their feelings. Wanda comes to terms with putting faith in her feelings and in Vision. read on AO3

#15 Flares by The Script

did you see the sparks filled with hope? Mere days after the battle in Sokovia Wanda is still coming to terms with Pietro's absence and the new life she is faced with in upstate New York. Waking from a nightmare she leaves sleep behind and takes solace in Vision as an unexpected comfort. Read on Tumblr // AO3

#19 Feel Something by Jaymes Young

you could be the one to make me feel. Movie night at the compound isn’t going well for Vision, and that’s even before he decides to try and be a bit more human and eat food. He manages to drunkenly confess his deepest insecurities about his own existence before the night is out. Ft. angsty Vision, jealous Vision, pining Vision and basically Vision feeling a whole array of emotions he doesn’t know how to deal with. read on Tumblr // AO3

#21 Start a Riot by BANNERS

I will tear down every wall just to bring you home. Wanda has a breakdown shortly into arriving at the compound and Vision is the only one who can get through to her. read on Tumblr // AO3

#25 Remedy by Adele

I will be your remedy. Wanda comes back injured from a mission and Vision has to come to terms with her mortality, and the limits of their relationship. Tender touching and the intimacy of tending to wounds. AO3

CW to IW

#3 Rescue my Heart by Liz Longley

Rescue my heart (I'll drown without you). In which Vision arrives to help break the Cap’s team out of Raft prison post-Civil War. Wanda recalls fond memories of the compound and comes to terms with the idea of living on the run. read on Tumblr // AO3

#5 The Best by Tina Turner

a lifetime of promises, a world of dreams. In which Wanda searches Edinburgh for Vision after she arrives late at their safehouse. When she discovers his energy signature floating around the city, she decides to follow the threads to their source. Along the journey she recalls the complications of their long-distance, secretive relationship but by the end recalls exactly why they sacrifice so much to be together. read on AO3

#6 Somewhere only we know

In which nobody died in Endgame and Vision gets the opportunity to pick up where he and Wanda left off before they were interrupted in Edinburgh. read on AO3

#7 Clarity by Foxes

don't speak as I try to leave (I'll fall right back to you). A distressed Vision shows up at Wanda’s door after a particularly bad situation goes down at the compound. She comforts him as they both try to reconcile with the very different lives they are now living. read on AO3.

#8 Our Corner of the Universe by K.S. Rhoads

Our little corner of the universe. In which Wanda and Vision are coming to the end of a few weeks together in Paris pre-IW and Wanda dreams a life for them where they no longer have to run and hide. Unknowingly, she draws Vision into her dream and they both must contend with the idea that this reality isn't something that will be easy for them. read on Tumblr // AO3

#9 If You Ever Come Back by The Script

just like you were never gone. Wanda and Vision recall an argument that forced them to go their separate ways in the early days of their relationship post-CW. Upon finding out Wanda is near the Compound Vision can't help himself and seeks her out to apologise. Read on Tumblr // AO3

#13 I Know Places by Taylor Swift

just grab my hand and don't ever drop it. Wanda and Vision try to spend a peaceful evening out for dinner in Paris when they are suddenly attacked. To keep each other safe they split up, forced to make the harrowing journey to the next safe house separately. Vision is faced with Wanda's mortality. read on AO3

#14 Me and My Husband by Mitski

when he walks in, I am loved. Vision is reminded that it is Valentine's Day and decides to show up at Wanda's safehouse to surprise her. Fluff ensues and Wanda's fugitive teammates realise exactly how close the pair have become. read on AO3

#17 Can You Feel My Heart by Bring Me the Horizon

can you feel my heart. One year into being a fugitive Wanda gets cornered, Vision sees the news in real time and runs to her aid. Aka Vision going apeshit when he thinks Wanda is dead. read on Tumblr // AO3

#18 That's All by Michael Bublé

All I have are these arms to enfold you and a love time can never destroy. Wanda and Vision share a perfect morning in Paris, snuggled up together watching the rain stream past the windows. aka 1000 words of fluff. Read on Tumblr // AO3

#20 The Scientist by Coldplay

you don't know how lovely you are. Wanda surprises Vision by breaking into the compound shortly after the fight in Germany. read on Tumblr // AO3

#23 Bury This by RVRB

I should bury this. Immediately after Wanda leaves in Civil War, Vision reflects on his feelings surrounding her departure. AO3

Post-IW

#16 Through the Fire by Jake Etheridge

I was lost (now I'm found again). The Battle of Wakanda is over. Vision knows he's gone and that there is no coming back. Taking pity on Vision, the mind stone lets him see some of his most treasured memories once more, to ease his passing. read on Tumblr // AO3

Canon Divergence

#1 Last Dance by Camera Can't Lie

If this was our last chance (I'd ask you to say). In which Civil War never happened and they all lived happily ever after. Wanda and Vision dance at one of Tony’s fancy galas and are forced to address the feelings that have become apparent to themselves, and the rest of the team. Yearning included with a happy resolution after a lil bit of angsty longing. read on Tumblr // AO3

#2 Infinity by Jaymes Young

Darling my soul, it aches for yours. In which Wanda and Vision sneak out of the compound and go on a date and just revel in the act of being together in public. The rest of the team doesn't know yet so they're working had on keeping everything a secret. When they arrive back Vision is so enamoured with Wanda that he trips the Compound alarms, waking everyone up with the fear of a break in at the front of their mind only to find the pair in a compromised position. Read on AO3

#4 Light Me Up by Ingrid Michaelson

we are tonight, we are forever. Wanda and Vision spend a domestic evening together free from the rest of the team. read on Tumblr // AO3

#22 Only Us by Ben Platt

it can be us, and only us. The Sokovia Accords are renegotiated so that the team are never divided. Following the successful signing of the document a press event is held at the compound. Wanda and Vision take a moment to breath away from the crowds, both have been holding back from each other for months, worried about risking their friendship. A simple miscommunication leads to a brief moment of angst as they realise their months of pining over each other has been mutual. read on Tumblr // AO3

#24 I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys

I wanna be yours. Things get racy between Wanda and Vision in the compound kitchen. Vision tries to come to terms with the intensity of his feelings for Wanda. AO3

[allofthefeelings]

Now instead of focusing on bad faith harassers, let's be on brand and talk about Natasha! I'm thinking of how little Nat got a small taste of family experience (even if she knew it was fake), which ended in Alexei and Melina abandoning her back to Red Room torture. In what ways does that trauma play out as she forges found family relationships with Nick, the Bartons, and the Avengers?

Anon, this is mean, and I both like and respect that.

So I was actually really surprised when David Harbour explicitly mentioned that they took the girls out of the Red Room and then put them back, not because we couldn’t figure that out- Nat’s history would be very different if she spent a few years as a murderbaby and then grew up the rest of the way playacting a normal life- but because this isn’t just something we’ll quietly be like “oh fuck” about, it’s going to be, if not an emotional pivot point of the movie, at least something they’re explicitly dealing with.

This- unsurprisingly- gets long.

(Brief digression: It is wild to me that while there has been a lot of speculation and even (supposed) spoilers of plot, I’m still not really sure what Nat’s emotional through-line from the story is, OR major information about how the movie is presenting the Red Room! Obviously some of that is the mystery, but it feels like there’s so much we just don’t have yet, almost 9 months after the movie was supposed to come out. Amazing, and building my anticipation, but also making me even more unsure of my speculation’s grounding!)

So pre-SHIELD, Natasha only knows family as something that gets torn away: her parents, who she never got to know (assuming they don’t retcon that from Endgame), and then this hyperreal family that shatters once the mission is over. And obviously they lose the grown-ups- they’re adult spies- but the evidence seems to indicate that Nat and Yelena didn’t manage to keep their connection either. I mean I realize the Murder Child Factory isn’t like college, where you can periodically message your old classmate on Facebook, but we don’t know- did they try? Were they kept separate by the Red Room? Or did they learn that every connection was dangerous so early that they actively kept separate from each other? No matter what it is, everything Natasha had, she lost.

And how long was the mission? Did she have three or four weeks that they escaped into that stuck so much she came back to it years later, like a deadly summer camp, or was it months or years of her life? This is all SUCH important context: did Nat have so little that a tiny event was all she could cling to, or did she live her life knowing that she could spend so much time on one thing and the second the mission was over it would disappear like it never happened?

But no matter what it is, it puts Nat accepting Clint’s offer in a whole new light; he said “come join our team” after she lost her real family, she lost her fake family, she ran away from the Red Room and spent years as a mercenary- how do you trust that offer when the ground beneath your feet has never been steady? And the answer seems to be Nick and Clint; they were her rock, and they showed her that no matter how much she pushed they weren’t going away.

I want to know how that worked. Did she work to push them away and they refused? Did she try to be exactly who she thought they needed her to be, which we know was her default response as late as Winter Soldier at LEAST?

HORRIBLE DIGRESSION: I’m not sure I buy into this myself, but I wonder if her cold businesslike approach in parts of Iron Man 2 were still her trying to be the perfect objective operative for Nick? Like I really cannot get past that Nat was around 25 IM2, and while we don’t have an age range for the sterilization from AoU, it was Scarlett in young-age makeup and called "graduation”- so coded, what, eighteen years old? Which gives her seven years to have defected (she was clearly not ready to defect before the procedure or she would have), worked as a mercenary, been recruited, and risen in the ranks in SHIELD. Even if she was able to be professionally on point (because the Red Room does not tolerate less than perfection), what if she was still feeling out Natasha As Person by then? I wonder how IM2 holds up under that light, when Professional Nat is Nat She Thinks Nick Wants, and in the four years between that and Cap2 she grows from Professional Nat to the kind of person Nick would have the “keep the circle small” conversation with and I don’t even know if this works but it’s giving me feelings?

And it’s similar with Clint; I’m not sure how to even make the math work where they had more than five years for Nat to not just fight viciously to get him back- we’ve seen she fights for her teams, because it’s the job- but she’s 27 when she shows a ridiculous amount of vulnerability when he comes back (”you know I do”- by then she’s come clean about her past to him).

And Clint’s KIDS, god. We know by the time she’s 30, she’s close enough to his family that Cooper and Lila think of her as an aunt figure and they name Nate after her. And that she lets them? Nat is a character who we know builds up walls, and I don’t think she’d take letting children into her life lightly. It’s not just that Clint trusts her to keep his family secret; she’s attached to them and they to her and she clearly considers Laura and the kids as well as Clint family, when family was something she never had before.

Moreover- based, admittedly, on the tiny slices of life in AoU- her relationship with the Bartons seems pretty normal and healthy. Like, there aren’t artificial boundaries and there also aren’t the weird lack of boundaries that sometimes come from an adult who doesn’t know kids. THAT is what I find myself wondering about a lot: where did she learn that? Was she feeling it out herself? Or did she rely on, say, the way she connected with Nick, as the idea of how a father figure should be?

OH NO NOW I’M THINKING ABOUT ALEXEI AS THE FATHER FIGURE SHE HAD, WHO ABANDONED HER, AND NICK AS THE FATHER FIGURE WHO DIDN’T, AND ALEXEI AS THE RUSSIAN STEVE BUT STEVE DIDN’T ABANDON HER EITHER AND WAS SHE ALWAYS WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP.

And this is not your question but it just hit me how much, post-snap, when the world was falling apart because half of everyone disappeared, did this feel familiar to Natasha? How much was “Well, of course everyone leaves, it’s amazing it lasted as long as it did?” How much was Natasha not sure of the right way to grieve because she’s never been able to grieve before, losing people was just what happened and you had to push through it? So she just threw herself into her work and threw herself into her work and expected everyone else to also but one by one they peeled away, seeking out ways to escape the darkness, but all she’s ever known is that when you lose your connections you just have to make yourself better and fight harder because that’s all there is left? How much was the idea of bringing family back, even if she couldn’t be part of it, the thing she’d been holding out for forever, since she lost her family and she lost her fake family and she lost the Red Room and Nick and Clint and Laura told her it would be real this time but she was always afraid to believe that was true? How much was this the groundwork that set her up for Endgame?

ANON I AM U P S E T.

[spectralarchers]

I'm 99.9% sure I saw a post of yours in the Laura Barton tag and followed you from there! Or a gifset, or something. (Actually come to think of it I might have followed you pre AOU and stuck around when you were nice to Laura).

All of those things are possible! I remember 2015 distinctively, it was such a weird time to be in the Hawkeye fandom, but people like you helped make it better again <333

Why did you start following me?