#i'm tagging for my own ease of finding this again in the future

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

Find your helmets everyone, it's every Ratchet across the TF Multiverse! Please watch out for rouge wrenches! My Optimus and Megatron ones really fucked with my expectation for how long these things take...

Quick Disclaimer, if any of the images look weird, it's because I had to stitch a few separate images together to create a full body shot of the character. And Yes, I am aware the TFO ones look stupid, these characters show up in background shots or for like 3 seconds tops. I didn't have anything else.

Here are links to my Bumblebee Chart, my Optimus Chart, my Megatron Chart, my Shockwave Chart, and my Ironhide Chart. For future reference, all these charts will be filed under my "Transformers Height Charts" tag and my "aka the adventures of a..." tag.

Explanations and Sources below the cut.

Gen 1 - ~16 feet (TFWiki, I don't have anything to add)

- ~16 feet (No Source, but this design is identical to Gen 1 so who am I to complicate things.)

One V1 - ~16 feet (Pre-cog.*deep breath* Okay, so this movie doesn't have any actual numbers, aside for some bullshit ones from a Walmart Promotional. I've been using the Knightverse Optimus number as a baseline since these were at one point said to be vaugly canon to each other. And the Bumblebee-Optimus scaling is the same. I got this number by comparing Ratchet to Ironhide and Ironhide to Optimus. Idk man, this movie has made me develop a twitch.)

Animated - 16 feet 8 inches (Animated has no actual numbers, but the lovely @phoenix-inanis has provided a frankly astounding resource with their own calculations for the heights of all the TFA characters. Go look at it, it's wonderful -> https://phoenix-inanis.notion.site/TFA-Height-Chart-f6ad2960ca8c4c5b859ee4958723aaa4?pvs=4.)

One V2 - ~18 feet (Post-cog. Again, no numbers, plus I can't actually find a clear picture of this form. My method of "knocking off or adding two feet" has been pretty accurate so far (I got Bumblebee right), so I'm just going to keep doing it. God, my head hurts...)

Bayverse - 20 feet (TFWiki bc Mr. Bay loves me dearly and will give me numbers I am in your debt Michael)

Cyberverse - 20 feet (This comes from a screenshot of this video, which has the Cyberverse height chart everyone uses, though the quality of the screenshot is iffy.)

Aligned Cont. WF/FOC/TFP/RID15 - 24 feet 7 inches (I got this number from Fandom, but I completely believe it, even if they don't list their source. Everyone in this universe is just freakishly tall, for no reason. The more this happens the more pain I feel in my bones.)

Here's the layers separated for ease of viewing.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Winter's King 9

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, cheating, violence, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are a maid to the Duke of Debray, a lord of the Summer Kingdom. That is, until the king of Winter appears with his particular air of coldness. (Medieval AU)

Characters: Geralt of Rivia

Note: I can't explain why but damn I'm so tiredddd.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

As you approach the capital, you can’t help but poke your head up to admire the domes of the great castle and the high towers. The gates stand open as the party advances, in wait of their new liege and lord. You shield your eyes against the sun as you gaze at the silhouette of the mighty architecture. 

“May as well get a good gander,” Bryce says, “doubt the kitchens are any more glorious than the ones you know.” 

“Mm,” you retract your gaze and sigh, “suppose. But they will still be new to me.” 

“Not all that is new is wondrous,” he girds. “For as much as I’ve seen in this world, it is the familiar that keeps me sane.” 

You nod and let the cart rock you. Ahead of you, the horses tread over rocks and dirt, wagons bounce and creak, and some servants walk afoot to ease the cramps in their legs. You lean lazily on a chest and fold your hands in your lap. It will at least be nice to stay beneath a proper roof again. 

The streets of the city are crowded with faces. They do not holler for you but you can hear the raucous uproar ahead as the king and queen ride between the citizens. There are even more black and grey soldiers stationed along the roads, awaiting your arrival. 

As you wind up to the royal castle, the noise grows tantamount. At the walls of the grand structure, clusters of people threaten to crush the party between their writhing bodies. It takes some time after the king’s entrance for the luggage to make way into the courtyard. 

The carts depart around the back of the castle as the horses make way for the stables. You climb out as Bryce lurks around, dismounting Daisy with a grunt as he rubs his lower back. You glance over at him as the other servants quickly fall into work. 

“Maid,” he calls to you before you can follow suit, “no doubt the queen will need to wash away the road before she faces the hordes.” 

He beckons you forth with his gauntlet and you diligently near him. He hands off Daisy to a castle servant and carries on inside. You scurry beside him as he stops and gauges his surroundings. He is not versed with the corridors but he presses on unimpeded. 

You turn back a few times before you reach the great hall. It is crowded and chaotic. The soldier strides through without pause. You nearly grab onto him just to keep from being lost in the stirring of soldiers and servants, and the tittering lords and ladies in their colourful garb. 

Up the stairs and a few questions grunted to his comrades, Bryce takes you down to a set of chambers with yet another soldier before it. You’re let inside without question. You find Queen Jazlene before a steaming basin as another servant cleans her face. 

The queen scrunches up her nose and swats the lady servant, the maid still in the former king’s colours; burnt autumn orange and goldenrod yellow. 

“Watch my eyes, you moron,” Jazlene chides and jabs her nail into the maid’s ribs. 

“My lady, I didn’t mean--” 

“I am a queen, not a lady,” Jazlene hisses, “be gone before I have your teeth knocked out of that stupid mouth of yours.” 

The other maid wrings the cloth and steps back on her heel, chewing on an apology before she spins to flee. As she nears the door, she notices you and gives a panicked look. You reach to take the cloth from her before you go to the queen. 

“Your highness,” you greet her and dip the cloth back in the steaming water. “Would you like me to put ribbons in your hair?” 

“Mm, I suppose,” she tilts her face up and closes her eyes, “once the dirt is gone. By gods, I hate traveling.” 

You gently wipe along her hairline and trace the outline of her face. You delicately but intently clean away the errant dust and streaks. You drape the cloth over the brim of the basin and turn to the table. 

“And would you like your lips painted?” You intone. “Your highness, I do think your natural tones are beautiful.” 

As you peek back at her, her eyes open and she stares at you. Her nostrils compress as she inhales. She puts her head straight and looks at her reflection. 

“Do you think so?” She touches her cheeks. 

“Yes, I do, if you line your eyes, they might appear bigger but they are so lovely and dark already,” you compliment. 

She hums and tilts her head, turning her attention back on you, “it’s you.” 

You lower your head, “your highness?” 

“You’re always flitting around like some bird,” she sniffs, “suppose you are not so... agitating as the other. Yes, ribbons and some kohl. Then I will have one of the former queen’s gowns. They have delivered her wardrobe to me.” 

“Yes, your highness,” you say and go to work. 

You settle into your usual lull. The queen sips from her goblet as you twine ribbons with her curls, a halo around the crown of her head as coiling strands hang down to her back. She looks even more immaculate than you’ve seen her before. 

She calls for a dress and you bring her several options from those strewn across the large bed. She chooses the lavender and you help her into the light silk. You relace it to account for her lither figure, the former queen having some extra years in her hips. 

When she is dressed, she twirls before the mirror. She stops and sets her chin straight and glares at herself. She arches a brow coyly. 

“I cannot wait to see Lady Florence,” she scoffs, “she will choke when she realises I am her queen.” 

You linger by the wall, blending into the tapestry as she sighs and eyes the glass affectionately. She primps herself and spins again. 

“Well then, I must be overdue,” she goes to the door, “I must go to the king and show him I can be his queen.” 

You open the door for her and follow her out. The soldiers outside glance at her but do not move or speak. Bryce comes up beside you as you trail after Jazlene. She struts to the end of the corridor and is stopped by another guard at another door. 

“Do not think to stop me,” she spits, “I am the queen,” she flicks her fingers in his direction, “don’t be absurd.” 

The man lets her through as she tugs on the latch and his dull eyes stare past her. She hardly has the effect she thinks. People do not admire her so much as they tolerate her. 

She sweeps into the chamber as you wait outside. Bryce lets out a gritty breath and taps his fingers on his sword pommel. He chews more of the sweet leaves he loves so much. Jazlene emerges with a doe-like look. 

“Where is the king?” She exclaims. 

“He has gone to address the people,” the guard picks at his teeth. “He tired of waiting--” 

“Do not tell me about the king,” Jazlene snaps on the soldier, “ugh, let us find my husband. How can he think to face my people without me at his side?” 

She storms onward and you can only follow. She will no doubt need wine sooner than later, though you wish she might take more water or milk instead. Bryce keeps your pace slowed as he makes little haste. 

As she descends the steps, you can hear the king’s voice. The crowd is hushed, almost hypnotised as he speaks from atop a chair. Somehow, he is both overwhelming and unassuming. Jazlene shows as she sees him. The crowd does not move out of her way as they are rapt in his words. 

“...do not come as conquerer, but as liberator,” he declares, “I am not here to suppress but to unite. Our kingdoms, forged together as one, can attain glory. Peace. Joy. Our people needn’t suffer the droughts or frost rot without relief. By coming together, we will join summer and winter in harmony,” the king holds his sword, the tip on the armrest of the wooden chair, “to you lords who stayed loyal to Waleran, I do not seek retribution. You only did your duty and served the king you put an oath to. You had no part in his violations upon myself. I am aware you could not rein in your greedy master. You will keep what is yours, as by rights, but you will swear fealty to the new crown.” 

King Geralt looks around the hall, “I have spoken to the farmers and the peasants, I have seen the beauty of your lands. I wish not to ravage it but to build it. You will not have only from me writs and declarations, you will have fields sown, you will have harvests reaped, you will have coin in flow, and you will have full bellies.” 

He raises his great sword over his head. The large weapon could be held only by two-hands in anothers grasp but he lifts it effortlessly. 

“I saw how your king tucked tail when he saw me on the field. After you good lords followed him to battle and sacrificed your men and your blood. He could not stand and fight, but many of you did, many of you not here today. I will not let their souls be spent in vain,” he pauses and his golden eyes rove around the room. He points his sword suddenly towards you but not quite, at Jazlene, “I have taken a summer wife.” He curls his fingers to gesture her to him. People swivel to see her and clear the path to the king, “a winter’s king must have a summer’s queen, if our kingdoms our to rise anew.” 

Jazlene sways before she gets her footing. She moves forward, chin high as she lets a grin break out over her face. She looks this way and that, gloating as she goes to her husband. He steps down as she approaches and he takes her hand. He helps her up on the chair herself and she seems almost confused by the act. 

“Queen Jazlene of Debray,” King Geralt proclaims, “she will return with me to the Hinterlands to see that order is kept across our realm and perhaps, the next time I look upon you all, I will have an heir to present to you. A young prince to lead us into the sun ahead.” 

He raises Jazlene’s hand as she fawns. The crowd breaks out in racket, voices swelling to the rooves as you’re jostled against Bryce. The lords and ladies, servants and soldiers, throw up fists and hoot and holler. 

The king brings his sword up again, silence falling at the gleam of its silver blade, “but first, a feast!” 

The fervour is even louder as the hall explodes in glee. You hear it ripple out the doors into the crowd without and like an ocean, the tides carry through the courtyard and front gates, streaming into the city. Peace has come and old grudges cannot take the shine from the gift of a king’s mercy. 

⚔️

“Your highness, we heard of what happened on Stag’s River,” an earl, you think he said his name was Kelvan, “it was a brave stand. Admirable, even standing upon the other ridge.” 

“You were there?” King Geralt muses, “mm, how fortunate our paths did not cross.” 

“Indeed, your highness,” the earl agrees, “I must admit, I dreaded it.” 

“But here we are, alive, together, as allies. It is all I ever wanted.” 

“And we knew it. We knew it, my liege, for when you let our men march back at all, we saw your grace,” Kelvan smiles. 

“Yes, but I have only ever admired your lands, never had I wanted to ruin them,” the king assures as he looks over at his wife. 

“He is a brave and good king,” Queen Jazlene praises as she puts her hand over the king’s. 

Lord Kelvan’s lips ripple, “mm, yes, I have not seen your father yet. If I shan’t happen upon the Duke, you will send my regards.” 

There’s an edge that makes you uneasy. You see how Jazlene bobs her head, “so I shall.” 

She doesn’t seem to notice the tick of resent in the earl’s cheek. How odd it is that they are so fond of the invader and yet their own kith and kin, they cannot help but revile. You’ve heard the whispers swirling already. It was not King Geralt who betrayed these people but this snakish woman and her blood. 

“Wine, girl, now,” Jazlene snaps as the early departs back to his seat. 

You stand against the wall, just behind the bench she shares with the king. You come forward with the jug reserved only for her, nearing between the shoulders of the royal couple. Before you can put the spout to brim, King Geralt’s hand catches the swollen belly of the ewer. 

“Perhaps you might have some more lamb before you indulge further, wife,” he girds. 

“It is a feast,” she slurs, “I am only celebrating. With you,” she touches his sleeve, “my king.” 

“I see that,” his voice is low but firm, “yet you are a queen and your subjects are watching.” 

“I can stomach my wine,” she sneers. 

He huffs and wraps his hand around the bottom of the handle, just below your grip. He wiggles it away from you and sets it on the other side of his plate. Jazlene lets out a childish gasp. 

“It is just wine,” she snivels. 

King Geralt runs his fingers along his collar, “we are having a good night,” he says as he peers out on the crowd, “please, let us not make a scene.” 

“I am not making a scene. I am the queen and I want more wine,” she insists. 

He faces forward completely. You stay as you are, trapped in their indecision. He blocks the jug with his elbow and she claps her hands on her lap and kicks her feet.  

“Perhaps you should have some of that wine,” she mutters, “it might make you kinder.” 

The king doesn’t reply and instead greets another lord; one who introduces himself as the Count of Bress. As they speak, Jazlene leans back on the bench and tugs your skirt. You look down at her. 

“Find more wine,” she growls, “and don’t be obvious about it.” 

“Your highness, but the king--” 

“I am your master, not him,” she snarls and nudges you harshly, “be away before I lose my patience.” 

You dip your head and notice how the king’s head turns towards his wife. You don’t look back as you critter off quickly into the shadows. You might be better to take your time and tell her you could not abscond any more wine. If you wait long enough, it might even slip her mind, as so often her desires fade into the next. 

[its-jaytothemee]

Until I Met You - Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Those Left Behind

Pairings: Halsin x Tav

Word count: 4,755

Rating: Currently M, will be Explicit in later chapters.

Read on AO3

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Summary: Tav is still coming to terms with her brother's death while also trying to help Halsin get the information he so desperately needs about Thaniel. Part 29 of the slow burn fic. Tav and Halsin POVs.

Tags: Slow burn, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual love confessions, eventual smut, angst, implied past rape/non-con and abuse, graphic description of injuries, brief suicidal thoughts.

A/N: Sorry folks, we're not out of angst land yet. Thanks for hanging in there for a while longer between updates. I'm hoping to be able to do some more concentrated writing in the near future <3

Tav leaned against Halsin as they made the short hike back to camp. He kept one arm around her shoulders as they walked. Her mind and heart felt raw from the emotional whiplash of the day. Meeting Ketheric Thorm, freeing the cult’s prisoners, discovering a lead to banish the shadow curse, finding Tev, Halsin’s kiss. It was almost too much.

I care about you, Tav.

Once again, the simplest affirmations from him drew the sadness from her with ease. Unfortunately for her, the bottomless well that was her grief refilled itself quickly.

Still, it was nice to know that she hadn’t made a total fool of herself this morning.

“Hey, soldier,” Karlach called out to her softly as they came into view of the camp. Her eyes darted between her and Halsin. “Feeling better?”

“A bit, yeah.” Tav rubbed her eyes, still stinging from her tears. Halsin pulled her tighter against him, causing a broad smile to stretch across Karlach’s face.

“That’s good to hear. Come on, have a seat.” Karlach patted the spot next to her near the fire.

“Thanks, but we’re still going to Last Light. We’ll just rest there for the night.” Tav gave her a weak smile.

“Are you sure? Do you need us to come with you?” Wyll’s face was twisted with concern.

“I think we’ve taken care of the threat during our first excursion, but should anyone want to join you are of course welcome to do so,” Halsin assured him.

Karlach elbowed Wyll in the ribs before responding. “I’m sure they can handle it now that we took care of that last group of shadows.”

“Meet us there first thing in the morning?” Tav asked.

Everyone nodded their agreement along with a few more murmured condolences, except for Karlach, who responded with a wink. Tav just rolled her eyes in response, unable to help the small smile that tugged at her lips.

As they walked out of camp, Halsin reached down to lace their fingers together. The comforting feeling of his hand in hers helped steady her steps. Lunari padded along beside her, bumping into her legs every now and then.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked quietly.

“I…I don’t know. I’m not sure what to talk about.” Tav sniffled. “I think part of me always knew he was gone. I just couldn't accept it without knowing.”

“Closure is a very powerful tool for moving past our grief, but it has a habit of opening up old wounds that didn’t heal properly the first time around. At least now you know his fate, horrible as it was. You can heal now, Tav. You can move on knowing that he’s now at peace.”

“You make it sound so simple.” Her tears returned and she leaned against his arm.

“It is anything but simple, my friend. Do not take my words as a dismissal of your pain. Everyone heals in their own time. It may take weeks, it may take years, but eventually the pain will dull, and the wound will mend once more.”

“Thank you, o wise and all-knowing Archdruid,” Tav mumbled, feeling a stab of guilt over her sarcasm. To her relief, Halsin just chuckled.

“Former Archdruid, but I suppose old habits die hard. If there’s anything I can do to help you, Tav, please let me know.”

She glanced down at their hands.

“This is good enough for now.”

He hummed in appreciation as she squeezed his hand.

They took the rest of their walk in silence. Tav buried her face in Halsin’s arm once they reached the small area where they had fought the shadows earlier. He kept a firm grip on her until they had passed. Before she knew it, they were crossing the bridge into the courtyard of Last Light once more. The courtyard was still bustling with its patrons, many of whom were now reunited with loved ones who had been captured.

She hated that such a happy sight made her feel so resentful.

“Are you ready?” She turned to ask Halsin.

“Lead the way.”

***

Halsin let Tav guide him back into Last Light Inn. Given the darkness choking the land, it was hard to tell the time of day, but he guessed it was getting late in the evening. Harpers, Flaming Fists, and refugees alike were still wandering about the grounds.

He did notice that there were a few more familiar faces around.

“The tieflings…” he saw Alfira had been joined by Lakrissa across the room, “you found them?”

“Some of them,” she replied in a low voice, “we still couldn’t find Arabella’s parents, or Zevlor, or Mol.”

“They weren’t being held at Moonrise?”

“Apparently not.”

Before he could respond, two tieflings came barreling up to Tav the moment she crossed the threshold of the inn.

“It’s you! You’re back!” The tiefling that spoke first was Bex, her husband, Danis, was one of the refugees that had been captured. “You left before we had a chance to thank you!”

Her hand shot out to grab Tav’s, pumping it up and down enthusiastically. Halsin squeezed the other hand tighter as he felt her tense at his side.

“Oh, of course…it was nothing.” Tav cleared her throat and forced a small smile onto her face.

“It was everything.” Danis came up to shake Tav’s hand as soon as Bex dropped it. “I thought I would be rotting away in that tower, without getting to see my love’s face one last time. To be reunited when I had all but given up…”

Halsin watched as Tav’s lips quivered at his words and felt her fingers dig into his hand.

“Happy to help,” she barely breathed the words out.

“Here, we don’t have much, but I made these for you.” Bex reached into a small bag and handed her a cloth package.

“Thank you, that’s very kind.” Tav took the offering with a trembling hand before stashing it away in her pack.

Halsin tried to lead her into the next room, but yet another group of grateful refugees swarmed them.

“Oh, thank the gods! I thought for sure you had left for the night!” Two more tieflings pushed Bex and Danis out of the way to get to Tav. He recognized them now, they were siblings. Their brother, Rolan, was meant to go to Baldur’s Gate to be an apprentice to a wizard there.

“Cal and Lia have told me that you were responsible for their return.” Rolan approached them with an embarrassed look on his face.

“Most people would just say thank you, Rolan,” Cal said as he nudged Rolan’s arm.

“I had help,” Tav added, her lips still quivering as she tried to force them into a smile.

“And modest, too?” Lia laughed as she looped an arm around one of Rolan’s.

“I suppose I was…harsh on you before. You have my sincere thanks for returning these two assholes to me,” Rolan smiled.

“Yes, thank you for helping my idiot siblings,” Cal teased back.

“My pleasure,” Tav’s quiet voice was almost lost in the commotion of Last Light, “think nothing of it.”

Halsin could just barely see the tears forming in her eyes and hear the subtle uneasiness in her breathing.

“I’m terribly sorry, my friends,” he interjected before the tieflings could speak up again, “I’m afraid Tav has had a very tiring day and is in desperate need of some rest.”

“Of course! I was exhausted from just watching you fight, I can’t imagine how you feel. We’ll talk to you again soon I’m sure.” Danis gave another grateful smile before pulling Bex away as well.

“Right, we’ll leave you to it. Thanks again!” Lia called over her shoulder as she walked outside with her brothers.

Tav stood frozen in place as she watched them walk away, arm in arm.

“Tav?” he called out quietly.

She didn’t respond, a few tears simply rolled down her cheeks. He felt guilty all of a sudden, for dragging her back here to see happy reunions all around her. Everyone around Last Light had been given a new surge of happiness, of hope.

And she had just lost hers just a few hours before.

He wanted to say something, anything to comfort her, but his mouth may as well have been filled with cotton. Luckily for him, Jaheira had wandered over to greet them.

“I didn’t expect to see you back tonight, little ranger.”

Her voice snapped Tav out of whatever spiral had taken hold.

“High Harper,” Tav sniffled and stood up a bit straighter before continuing, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“No need for such formalities, my friend. Jaheira suits me just fine.” She flashed a crooked smile at them.

“Of course, I uh,” Tav took a shaky breath, “I had to bring Halsin back to speak to the Flaming Fist. He could have information about how to dispel the shadows.”

“Truly? That is quite a fortunate coincidence.” Jaheira started to say something else, but her face fell as she took notice of Tav’s reddened eyes and tear-stained cheeks.

Her eyes shifted to Halsin, who gave a small shake of his head.

“But that is a conversation that can be held for later, you look exhausted, Tav.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small key.

“What’s this?” Tav asked, confusion apparent on her face.

“It is a key my very perceptive friend.” She pressed it into Tav’s palm. “Upstairs, second door on the left. There’s a room with the materials for a bath. I think you could use one, if you don’t mind me saying.”

“A…a bath?” A bit of brightness returned to her eyes at the offer. “Thank you.”

“I’d be happy to show Halsin to the Flaming Fist.” Halsin saw her eyes dart down to their hands, still entwined in a comfortable grip. “Unless you two are…” she trailed off as she tried to find the words.

Tav panicked and dropped his hand, her endearing blush creeping across her face.

“Thank you, Jaheira, I appreciate it.” She gave him a sheepish look as she sulked off toward the stairs. Lunari flopped down beside Halsin, resting her head on her paws.

“Tav?” he called out before he could stop himself. She turned around slowly and cocked her head to the side.

“I’ll…I’ll be right down here when you’re done.”

She nodded with a small smile before disappearing up the stairs.

“Tell me, Halsin, what happened?” Jaheira turned to him as soon as Tav was out of view.

“We found her brother, Tev’aron.”

“You…you found him? How is that poss–” The realization dawned on her just as she started to speak.

“I see.” She hung her head for a moment. “What was his fate?”

“He was part of a group of shadow cursed Harpers that ambushed us.”

“It was a dim hope that she would find him alive. It doesn’t make me any less sorry to hear that.” Her eyes moved back to the stairs. “How is she?”

“Devastated, from what I can tell.” Halsin recalled her heartbreaking screams as she held her brother’s dead body. The thought alone was enough to bring tears back to his eyes.

“I must warn you, this Flaming Fist is likely a dim hope as well. And yet, she made the dangerous trek through shadow to bring you here.” The corners of her mouth twitched. “A Harper at heart.”

Halsin smiled alongside her. “She doesn’t seem to think so.”

“Regardless, I worry that she will continue to chase these dim hopes. Pouring her own light into them to keep them sheltered and lit until she is naught but a shadow herself.”

“I won’t let that happen,” Halsin promised her.

“See that you don’t.” Jaheira had a way of turning simple words into an order.

“I worry more about what will happen when she no longer has the curse or Ketheric Thorm to concentrate on. Even their fight against the Absolute will serve as some form of distraction. But after that…” He trailed off, not wanting to think about that himself either.

But Jaheira apparently did.

“And what about you, Halsin? What will you do once you no longer have Ketheric Thorm or the shadows to keep your mind distracted?”

Halsin’s breath caught. It was a question he hadn’t dared to ask himself in so long.

“I suppose I’ll have to find a new distraction.” As hard as he fought it, he couldn’t keep his eyes from following Tav. Jaheira stifled a laugh as she followed his gaze.

“The Fist you’re looking for is in that room right over there.” She tilted her head toward a room to his right. “I trust you’re capable of making it inside on your own, unless you still need a hand to hold?”

He narrowed his eyes at her before walking through the doorway, Lunari trailing behind him. His heartbeat pounded in his ears, drowning out the quiet song coming from a man across the room.

Halsin took a seat on the bed next to the slumbering Fist, taking a deep breath to refocus himself.

The first sound he heard was humming, the second was a name. A name that brought tears to his eyes and a new swell of hope in his chest.

Thaniel.

***

Despite the last two days weighing on her shoulders, Tav allowed herself a fleeting moment of respite. It had been weeks since she could take a proper bath. Since their abduction, they had been resigned to quick, freezing rinses in creeks and rivers, hardly enough to wash away the grime and filth they had been wading through. Letting out a heavy sigh as she sank into the warm water, she took her time scrubbing the dirt and dried blood from her skin and hair.

Satisfied with her freshly cleaned skin, she drew her knees up close to her chest. Once again, her grief came back to weigh her down, threatening to drown her in the bath.

A memory came creeping into the front of her mind, one of her last memories of Tev.

Tav’ahria stormed out of the tavern where Tev had asked her to meet him.

“Come on, Ria, I don’t want us to part ways on a fight,” Tev’aron yelled after her.

“What do you want me to say, Tev? You told me we’d stick together, and now you’re leaving me behind.” She was having a hard time keeping the deep hurt out of her voice.

“It’s not like I have much of a choice, the High Harper is taking her squad to Reithwin, and that includes me.” He had to jog to catch up to her as she stomped away.

“You could ask to transfer, you could stay here in Amn.” A pang of guilt stabbed her in the gut for asking that of him. He had worked hard over the past three years to be in the company of Jaheira, the legendary hero of Baldur’s Gate.

“Is that what you’re asking me to do?” His tone softened a bit as he caught up with her. “Ria, please, just…”

Tev reached out and grabbed her wrist. She refused to meet his eyes.

“Come on, talk to me. Ever since you broke things off with Sylia you’ve been extra moody, you know that?”

She reached up to touch the fresh scars lining her nose and cheek. A parting gift from her scorned former lover. Tav’ahria took note on ending a relationship in a gentler fashion in the future. Especially if the partner in question favored a wild shape that gave them extra sharp talons to attack her with.

“This has nothing to do with her, and you know it,” she snapped back.

“Are you sure? Because honestly, Tav’ahria, when you were getting laid consistently you were much more–”

She cut his teasing off with a quick knee to the groin, causing him to drop the hand he had been holding.

“You were saying?” She smiled at him sweetly and batted her eyelashes.

“I…was saying…” he wheezed between words as he remained hunched over, “that there’s…something else…bothering…you.”

He wasn’t wrong.

The fact of the matter was, the Harpers had always been Tev’s dream, not hers. She had enjoyed the last few years, if anything because she was far away from their family. Many of her new peers had even gone from casual acquaintances to friends.

But now, he was leaving her to chase those dreams. As much as she hated herself for it, she resented him for leaving her behind.

“You’re leaving, Tev. Whether it’s fully under your control or not, that’s what’s happening.” Tav’ahria looked away from him again, trying to hide the misty haze clouding her eyes.

“I’m just going on assignment, Ria. It’s not like I’m being banished to another plane of existence,” he said, still catching his breath.

“You might as well be,” she whispered back.

“I know this will be the furthest we’ve been apart in some time, but neither one of us will be alone.”

“I know, I just…I really thought I’d never see you again that first night you ran away. And now…” she sniffled, “now I have that same feeling.”

“And yet, I came back. I’m not going anywhere, my sweet sister.” He pulled her into a hug.

“You only call me that when you want something,” she muttered into his shoulder.

“Yes, I want to go to Moonrise Towers with my squad,” he pulled away so he could look down at her, “but if you ask it of me, if you really need me to do so, I’ll stay here with you.”

Yes, I want you to stay here with me. I can’t stand the thought of being left alone in this world.

Without you here, I’m afraid I’ll go back.

The words in her mind brought years of guilt crashing down on her. For so long, Tev had held back to protect her, to help her. Now they were free, free to make their own choices, free to forge their own paths. Yet he still held himself back for her.

She had a chance to repay him now, for everything he had done for her.

“No, Tev. I don’t ask you to do that.” She leaned back into him.

“Thank you, Ria.”

Tav’ahria took a few deep breaths before letting him go.

“Besides, it’s just another squabble between a few Sharrans and Selûnites. Once territory is marked again and they’re sent on their merry ways, we’ll be heading back. That region has been occupied by followers of Selûne for longer than either of us have been alive, I doubt this will be a lengthy affair,” he assured her.

She could only manage a nod in response.

“I’ll write to you. Don’t worry,” he leaned over to kiss the top of her head, “a tenday from now we’ll be back together.”

“You’d better find someone else to tame that mop of hair on your head while you’re gone.” She reached up to tuck a runaway curl back among the others.

“No promises.” He swatted her hand away with feigned annoyance while she tried to rearrange more of his hair. As he turned to head back into the tavern, she fought the tears welling up in her eyes watching him leave.

“I love you, Tev,” she called after him as he ran away.

“I love you, Ria.” He gave her one more big, dimpled smile before disappearing into the tavern.

When she finally brought herself to open her eyes again, she was back in Last Light.

You didn’t come back this time, Tev.

She stayed curled up in the bath until the water had cooled, her fingers and toes had pruned, and the salty lines of tears on her face had dried.

No use wallowing in a cold bath.

She forced her legs to stand again, the noble blood in her veins fighting every move as she dressed herself in the dirty clothes she’d been wearing for weeks.

Still, the hot bath did wonders for her sore muscles, even if it did make her incredibly tired.

Tav gathered up her belongings and dragged her feet back down the stairs. By the time she had emerged, the commotion in the inn had died down. Only a few Harpers remained awake, drinking and laughing at the bar. She didn’t see Jaheira anywhere, so she just tucked the key she was given back into her pocket.

Trying to avoid any further conversations, she kept her eyes fixed on the floor as she walked into the room where Art Cullagh remained gripped by a magical slumber.

Halsin sat on the edge of the bed adjacent to the Fist’s. His eyes were closed as he held a hand out in front of him, lost in concentration. Lunari perked up from her spot at his feet.

“So, did you learn anything?” she asked softly, her quiet voice still startled Halsin out of his meditation.

“Tav!” His face lit up when he saw her, she just wished it made her feel better. “Come, join me.” He patted the spot next to him on the bed.

She sulked over and placed her bag and armor at the foot of the bed before taking a seat, making sure to give her wolf companion a few scratches behind her ears on the way.

“I’ve learned precious little, I’m afraid. But there’s at least no doubt that he’s met Thaniel. There’s no other way he would know that name.” Halsin began to eagerly explain his meditations from the last hour, but she was having a hard time keeping her eyes open.

“…Tav?” He gave her a gentle nudge.

She shot up, realizing she had fallen over on his shoulder.

“Sorry, love. I guess I’m just a bit more tired than I thought.”

“It’s quite alright.” He placed an arm around her and rested his head on hers. “Rest, Tav. We can talk more in the morning.”

A small bout of panic ripped through her. She didn’t really want to rest; she was terrified of what she might see in her dreams.

Her heart rate sped up, causing her chest to tighten with anxiety and grief, Halsin seemed to sense something was wrong.

“What is it?”

“I…” Tears stung her eyes. She couldn’t bear the possibility of seeing Tev’s dead body in her arms again. Not wanting to have another breakdown here in Last Light, she squeezed her eyes shut once more. It didn’t stop her lips from trembling and her breath from hitching audibly.

“Tav…” Halsin’s soothing voice had quieted, and she felt his hands encase hers.

“I can’t rest, Halsin,” she whispered, “every time I close my eyes, I just see him.”

When she opened her eyes again, he was kneeling on the floor in front of her.

“What can I do, Tav?” he asked, his eyes searching hers for an answer.

She couldn’t form any words. Grief maintained its clawed grip on her mind. So instead, she just began to sob.

Halsin immediately pulled her into his arms.

“It’s alright, Tav, it’s alright,” he said the words over and over in her ear as he held her head against him.

“I miss him.”

“I know.”

“It’s my fault, Halsin…” she gasped into his shoulder.

“What?” He pushed her back a little so he could look at her. “Why do you say that?”

“Because…” she choked out.

She told Halsin about the last time she had seen Tev. How he had offered to stay with her, but she let him go with Jaheira and her squad.

“Oh, Tav…” he trailed off before hugging her tight again.

“I could…asked…to stay…might…be here…” She could barely get the words out between her sobs.

“Listen to me,” his voice had shifted to a more forceful tone, but he still held her with such a gentle touch, “you cannot blame yourself for his death. You cannot take that weight onto your shoulders, my friend. Believe me when I say it will crush you.”

“But…”

Halsin cut her off by taking her face in both of his hands.

“Tav, you got called to Moonrise anyway. Even if he had stayed with you, there is no guarantee that he would have survived. You saw the raw chaos that took over the battlefield that day.”

“You don’t understand! Tev was all that I had. The hope that I could find him again was all that I had, as foolish as that hope was…” she paused for another bout of sobs. “Now what do I have? No family, no home…”

As soon as she said the words, she regretted them. The pain in Halsin’s expression adding to the ever growing pile of her guilt.

“I do understand. I lost my closest friends, my mentor who was like a father to me, I lost Thaniel. The grove has been the only home I’ve known for over two hundred years and now I…” He shook his head lightly before looking back up at her.

“And you do have a family, Tav. You have an entire camp full of new friends who would do anything for you, who would follow you anywhere.”

She wrapped her arms tight around her torso. The muscles in her chest and shoulders had grown sore from her cries.

“And you have me,” he said with tears in his eyes.

Tav reached up to hold one of the hands cradling her face.

“We have both carried a great deal of sorrow and guilt over the last century. I cannot tell you how grateful I am to have found someone who shares that burden with me. You’ve done so much for me already, let me ease some of the weight from your shoulders. Let me help you, Tav.”

She let out a shaky breath and rested her forehead against his.

“Now, please rest. I’ll watch over Art Cullagh. I’ll wake you if anything changes.”

She nodded and turned to lay down on the small bed.

“Will you stay here with me?” she asked, keeping a tight grip on his hand.

“Of course,” he responded as she closed her eyes. “Wherever you need me.”

Just before she drifted off, she felt him place a light kiss on the back of her hand.

***

Halsin held Tav’s hand in his until he was confident that she had drifted off into a trance. His heart truly ached for her. Not only was she leading the fight against a cult of mind flayers, a cult being led by the man responsible for her hardship, but she was also wading through one hundred years’ worth of grief to do it.

He leaned over to press a gentle kiss into her hair. The strands were still damp from her bath earlier and he smelled pine mixed with another sweet scent that he couldn’t quite identify.

Watching her face slowly relax into a peaceful look brought a wave of relief washing over him. He wanted nothing more than to lay down beside her, to hold her close throughout the night and chase any nightmares away. He wanted to bury his face in her freshly washed hair, concentrating on the new smell to distract him from his own grief and guilt.

Once again, his life allowed no room for such desires.

“May your dreams be kind,” he whispered in Elvish before sitting back up. He gently placed her hand that he had been holding back at her side before turning his attention to the Flaming Fist.

Halsin sat and studied Art Cullagh in his slumber. Nothing about the song he kept repeating gave him any specific ideas of where to find Thaniel.

Climb, climb, climbing up a tree.

That could be anywhere. Thaniel loved to climb trees, it was one of his favorite ways to spend an afternoon.

We are living, they are dead.

Again, that could have been anywhere, but it did give Halsin another confirmation that Thaniel was at least alive somewhere. 

The more he concentrated on the man, the more it became obvious that he had been imprisoned in the Shadowfell. Yet try as he might, Halsin couldn’t determine his connection to Thaniel. The man’s mind was fractured and fading away. If they were not delicate and precise in their manner of doing so, waking him could likely result in his death. He shuddered at the realization. If they didn’t find a way to wake Art Cullagh from his stupor, their one chance at banishing the shadows could be lost to him forever.

[trilobi-te]

Chipspeech Twitter Archive Update

Hi I should have done this months ago.. I do not know when (or if) I am going to finish that website lmao. So I am just going to share my notes from Google Docs. Should be easier to read than the original posts and helpful as a starting point if anyone else decides to make a website :3

The documents are all on commenting mode so feel free to make comments to bookmark things for yourself or write your thoughts or whatever. Under the cut I have put some formatting notes.

It's a folder, each year of Twitter posts is its own document (I tried to compile them into one but it lagged too much). There is also a document with all of the original Tumblr posts (from the accounts I could find, no tags yet but I will go back and get them eventually, also no dates but they're all from 2015), and one with the bios from the official website for ease of access.

The formatting is a little (a lot) weird and there are probably pictures that need resizing/transcription but I figured it's better to give people access now. The text is small (to keep the page count as low as possible) so you will have to zoom in.

It goes by day, organized with a bulleted list. The top level bullets are each character that tweeted that day. The second level bullets are original tweets/retweets by that character. The third+ level bullets are comment threads under that tweet, the organization here is inconsistent but imo still readable (if you think something needs an edit for clarity let me know and I'll fix it).

For each character's section of the list, normal text is that character's tweets/comments. Italicized text is anyone who is not that character. If it is labeled with unitalicized text, it is that character/important account (e.g. the official Chipspeech account), otherwise it is a fan. I also included some labels and/or clarifying comments for Vocaloid producers I like, they're not central to the story though

I got rid of the line breaks within the tweets when copying them down because it was easier to format. Sorry about that. Idk how to fix it other than going through everything again but it doesn't take away from the story so I'm leaving it for now.

If something came from a website other than Twitter, I tried to provide the link (unless its content was deleted). I did my best to transcribe the Clyp posts that were not deleted.

If something is a text-only retweet, it is marked with [retweet]. If it includes an image, it's probably a screenshot of the whole thing. I only included retweets that felt story-relevant (so no miscellaneous cat pictures, Apple-related aesthetic images, etc.), but if people really want it I can go back and add the rest.

Deleted tweets are noted with [deleted tweet], with the characters they came from if applicable. Idk how Twitter works but it the person in the thread is replying to the username of a certain character, I assumed it was that character's tweet that had been deleted. If something says [deleted Dandy thread], assume there is a deleted Dandy tweet in between each of the listed tweets (or another character, but it's usually Dandy). That was meant to be a temporary time-saver and I've gone back and fixed the ones I've found, but there's probably more I accidentally skipped.

Anything not in English is translated in a comment. Except the X-Sampa (I will fix that sometime but there's not much of it). Also it was done with the built-in Google Translate feature so it may be a little incorrect. Unclear pictures and whatnot also have clarifying comments. I can add more clarifying comments (or image IDs) if anyone needs them.

I tried not to include any unattributed fanart but there are some that I forgot to copy the handle for (I am also fixing these when I find them).

As for any future updates to this folder as a whole, I kind of want to go back through each account's liked tweets to see if there's anything funny in there but idk when that will be. That would probably be its own document.

Honestly I should have given everyone access back in June.. oops. If you have any questions you can put them in a comment on this post (or reach out to me another way, idk). As I mentioned before, feel free to use all of this as a starting point if you're making your own website.

I'll pin this post so it's findable in the future. Also sorry for disappearing for several months (it will happen again).

[fairlyang]

Far away 🌻

mariposa by peach tree rascals but it's miles thinking of gwen after she's no longer in his dimension

w/c: 753

tags: fluff, miles missing gwen, down bad, fluff

I can't wait for you to come my way

I've been far away, but I'll keep running

Just to find a way to you 'til then

Quickly after the other spiders returned to their own dimensions all Miles was thinking of was wanting them back. To have others like him to talk to. To get advice from. To swing around with.

But one thing that crept into his mind even more was Gwen. He hadn't even known her for too long but he felt like he could talk to her easily and then realizing he wouldn't be able to see her anymore kind of just stung.

He grew use to seeing her and enjoyed their chats more than he thought he would. Even before he knew who she really was he felt attracted to her, obviously shown by his poor attempts at flirting and the proof of that being her haircut.

He wanted to figure out a way of how to visit them, or Gwen specifically. He didn't know too much about quantum physics but on days where he'd be done with schoolwork and being a friendly neighbor spiderman he would go off reading textbooks and writing down notes while also trying to remember everything he's reading.

I been running from it, tired of running from it

Scared of feeling something

Now I'm stuck and tryna get up out of this hole

He eventually had some understanding of quantum theory and as he thought of it more he was realizing his feelings for Gwen grew stronger. He hasn't seen her for two weeks and he felt like he was going to lose his mind. How was it possible to have a crush on someone from a whole other universe?

He was second guessing on whether or not he should continue his research, feeling almost nervous of how serious his feelings had grown and unsure if he'd even do anything if he did end up figuring out how to get to her dimension.

I tried to be strong, I tried to make it work

But I've been feeling too numb

He tried hard to stay motivated, and slowly gaining confidence that if he did figure it out (which was a big if) he'd be able to tell her how he felt, or at least ease himself into it.  Maybe take previous advice uncle Aaron gave him months prior before he even met her.

Skies are bleeding on me

Why'd you leave me lonely?

Feeling Whitney Stoney

He knew she had to go home otherwise she would've just died but it still saddened him when he was no longer able to hang out with her. She was easier to talk to after he found out she was just like him and Peter. He'd never find someone else that was as easy-going and funny like her that'd also have him in his feels as fast as she did.

Now I'm stuck and wonder where I ever went wrong

How could I be strong?

I'm fighting for your love

Miles wished there was another way of getting to her, something easier like taking a train to her. Unfortunately for him there was no way of getting to her. Unbeknownst to him anyway.

All he could do was draw her from his memory, and lucky for him his memory wasn't failing him. He vividly remembered the pretty blue of her eyes and the way they sparkled.

Or the way her hair looked when they first met when he got to class late and she was the only one to laugh at his not so funny joke.

Or the way her eyebrow piercing suited her so well.

Or how she had such a cute smile.

Or how pretty she looked in his school's uniform even though every girl wore the same exact thing.

Or the way she was fighting and swinging.

I can't wait for you to come my way

I've been far away, but I'll keep running

Just to find a way to you 'til then

He decided to change his mind on what he wanted to do in the future, instead of focusing on his art and his old dream of wanting to be an artist, he realized he could do better and greater things.

He could be the one to figure out quantum theory, he could find a way to go see his friends and he would do whatever it takes.

And he wouldn't wait until he got to see Gwen again, at some point.

[theobjectofyourire]

Being Daemon's Daughter Would Include (Part II)

a/n: I wasn't expecting such an incredible response to Part I & I just 😭 I'm so so sorry it took me so long to write Part II but here it is! I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it- it really took on a mind of its own! Your mother/Daemon's wife makes a greater appearance, so you get to see Daemon as a wholesome husband, too 💕

Let me know if I should start a tag list for this & if you'd like to be included on it for future parts!

Part I | Part III

summary: It's been near a fortnight since your birth, and Daemon cannot bear to leave your side. How else would he spend his time if not murmuring tales by your cradle...and mayhaps singing...

cw: some angst (and foreshadowing about angst to come) but mostly just comfort, a little fluff, fem reader

~~~~~~~

A Song To Keep You Warm

-Upon the hour of your birth, the bells of King's Landing sang out to the city, continuing to sound for nigh on a week. The realm had been blessed with a new princess, and though this was celebrated far and wide, no one was as happy as your father.

-Daemon Targaryen delighted in your mere existence, and would often be seen by your cradle, murmuring tales of love and valor in High Valyrian. You would clutch one of his slender fingers with your whole hand and on more than one occasion, he swore you tried to pull him closer to you. The servants, however, insisted this wasn't possible for a babe so young.

-"Forgive me, my prince," the one girl curtsied, too nervous to look him in the eye. "She's not yet two weeks. She hasn't the strength for such a feat." The others agreed, albeit with hesitation, nodding with sympathy and a little fear, feeling as though they were in some way disobedient.

-To their surprise, he gave them all a wry smile. "She's a Targaryen," he said, holding his head high, "the blood of Old Valyria and daughter of the Rogue Prince." You made a few little noises, then, as you were wont do when you heard your father's voice. You so loved the tenor, which rumbled through you like a kitten purring on your chest. He felt you pulling again. Kneeling, he pressed a kiss upon your cheek and beamed with pride. "She's simply taking what she wants."

-The servants could not but giggle, taken aback and entirely charmed. Daemon was, at once, both tender and wild. He spoke of you as one would the Conqueror, and it was truly odd to see such language applied to a babe. Yet, so too had you allowed him a softness that made his disposition rather agreeable, even calming. Those who had been wary of his presence for countless years were now eager to serve, if only to witness the magic that was said to occur at the hour of the wolf.

-Though you had no trouble finding rest while bathed in the warmth of the sun, you were not one for sleep once the candles were lit. The hour of the bat and all hours that followed saw you not only awake, but seemingly alert, a curious thing indeed for one so young.

-"Remarkable," one Maester had mumbled under his breath, declaring he had never seen anything quite like it. Nor had he read of any similar cases in all his years at the Citadel.

-While your father was intrigued, your mother grew increasingly nervous. He squeezed her hand as she worried at her bottom lip, brows furrowed with a soft concern. "Is she alright?"

-"She is positively glowing, my lady," he assured her. "As healthy a babe as I have ever seen. She merely seems to thrive under the moon."

-He noted that it would be interesting to see whether or not this trait persisted into childhood (indeed, it would), but either way, there was no cause for any distress.

-Though the Maester's words were based in wisdom and reason, they did little to ease your mother's anxieties. She could not explain it, nor find a way to speak it properly, but a terrible anticipation had burrowed itself in her stomach. She felt as though she were preparing for battle, not only waiting for an enemy's strike, but for her happiness to be torn from her.

-In this respect, Daemon had greater success than the Maester. "Hush now, my darling," he whispered, running his fingers through her hair, gently twisting them into loose, flowing braids. Her breathing slowly returned to normal.

-"Think of the dragons," he murmured. "Caraxes is, this very moment, in the heart of the pit, smothered in darkness, and he is in no torment. Quite the opposite."

-"It's true, he isn't what anyone expected him to be," your father allowed, "and mayhaps some might consider him an oddity...though they do not live to think that for long." He playfully nudged her, earning a genuine chuckle. That sparkle of mischief that he fell in love with returned to her eyes as she settled into his arms, letting his words wash over her.

-"He is one of the fiercest creatures in the realm, and he, too, sometimes thrives in the darkness." Daemon purposefully mirrored the Maester's words, smiling when he felt your mother's shoulders relax. "We need not understand it, nor concern ourselves with altering it. She is as she is."

-"So, she's drawn to a little darkness." He buried his face in her hair, whispering into her ear. "Weren't you?" She giggled as she remembered her first encounters with her prince. She couldn't deny it, she had been drawn to his darkness.

-"Tis true enough, husband," she sighed. "But darkness or no, she needs her rest."

-Daemon hummed in agreement, his own forebodings beginning to take shape in his mind. He wouldn't tell your mother, for fear of worrying her further, but he, too, shared in her dread. These last days had felt very much the calm before the storm.

-Still, he was no stranger to war. He insisted on continuing on with as much a sense of normalcy as possible. But Dark Sister remained constantly on his hip and he remained by your cradle every moment that could be spared. Most especially after the sun had set.

-This was the magic the servants so desperately wanted to behold. For in the darkest hours of the night, when the candles burned low and sleep evaded you, Daemon would kneel by your cradle, his breath warm against your skin, and he would sing the most gentle lullabies of your long-lost homeland in the language of your ancestors.

-The first night, he had recited only two ballads before you had drifted off, but mere moments after he stopped singing you had woken again. And so every night after, your father sang to you for hours on end, until the sky turned pink as a maiden's blush, and his throat was all but raw. Not once did he complain, or even seem to mind the ache. He cherished these quiet moments with you, singing to you of tales far and wide.

-The songs varied from night to night, depending on the prince's mood. Some were rather melancholy, songs of loss and loves never to be. Others were triumphant, exciting recollections of war and heroics.

-When naught would tire you, a slight mischief would dance in his eyes as he looked round, ensuring no one was lurking, and would sing a song well-suited to taverns and fools. Songs of the smallfolk had such humor he would lean into that you were sure to squirm and smile before soon finding rest.

-One evening, after he had faced a particularly tedious few hours with the Small Council, Daemon found himself yearning for days long since passed, when chaos and violence had rule over his heart. His mind wandered to the Stepstones, which had returned to something of a dismal state in the recent years. He could not bear to leave you, nor could he deny that he still longed for battle.

-That night, lost in his nostalgia and torn between his greatest loves, he could not but sing the shanties of the common tongue that had filled each silence off the coasts of war.

-Perhaps there was something of the sea in his blood, as it seemed there was in yours. You looked at him with wide eyes as he sang, his voice somehow both gentle and rough, much like the sea herself.

-He picked you up in his arms and carried you to the window, looking out to the waves, all but black and shimmering in the moonlight, crashing against the rocks. His voice was low, rumbling. Tears lingered on his lashes. You squeezed his finger.

-Outside the chambers, servants had gathered. Each wept as they listened to songs of the sea. Of war and of loss, and of a love that even death cannot touch.

-He knew they were there, but he could not bring himself to send them away.

-"Let them hear," he murmured, in a language they could not understand. "Let them know even a prince yearns for something more."

-In the hour of the owl, you fell asleep to the sounds of the sea and your father's strong voice, safe and warm in his embrace.

[paranormalinstigator]

TOP FIVE BEATDOWN [The Watcher Tumblr fandom edition]

Rules: Reblog this post (or make your own if you're more comfortable with that!) with your top five Watcher series, with no. 1 being your favourite, and no. 5 being your fifth favourite! Video series and podcasts are both allowed. Feel free to tag your friends to play along if you want to!

I'll go first :)

HOMEMADE: This show is so wholesome and it's also just very calming. It was very relaxing to be able to watch this in the early days of the pandemic and see people coming together as families to share food and spend time together and remember that one day, we would be able to do that again. Sometimes I will go back and rewatch an episode or two when I'm feeling down because it gives me a lot of warm, happy feelings. I can't wait to see more once travel and semi-large family gatherings are safe again and Steven is able to make more.

PUPPET HISTORY: As a professional historian, and as a lover of puppets and comedy, as well as Shane's personal brand of wacky but well-written and extremely thoughtful storytelling and worldbuilding, this one is definitely a favourite. It's funny, it's educational, it's all-around very entertaining. The visual effects and the research and delivery of information are excellent. In a lot of ways, it reminds me of watching educational shows like Horrible Histories and Sesame Street as a kid, but with a grown-up sort of twist. Overall an excellent series, and I'm so, so devastated that the Professor is (canonically) dead and won't be coming back for another series.

WORTH A SHOT: This new series has really grabbed my attention. Ricky's personality, and the balance of showmanship and realness are so nice to see. His skill is also incredibly impressive, especially given the apparently short timeframe he has to think up and execute his ideas. Absolutely fantastic, and I'm looking forward to seeing a lot more of Ricky and this series in the future.

DISH GRANTED: Much like Ricky in Worth a Shot, I really enjoy seeing Steven come up with a creative, quality dish with only a few general ideas while also working under time constraints. It's beyond impressive to see what he comes up with every time, and I also really enjoy the wholesome aspect of friendship and food, and in the case of the episode where Steven cooked for his parents, family and food. It's so wonderful to see. I think Steven's shows are also some of my favourites because he's just got such calming vibes. This show, as well as Homemade, is one that I can watch knowing I'm going to come out at the end feeling happy and refreshed.

ARE YOU SCARED?: This show is also a lot of fun. I enjoy the way the team showcases both excellent stories from outside writers, and fantastic artwork. Ryan's delivery of the text and his and Shane's commentary are also so fun to listen to. The only aspect that I don't absolutely love is the part where we guess and find out if the stories are "true" or not, because I don't think that has any bearing on whether or not the story is scary, or how scary it is. I'm kind of glad that they seem to have eased away from that a little bit because it just wasn't my cup of tea, but I'm not entirely opposed to finding out at the end if the story was true. It's just not something that sells the story as scary or not to me personally.

Honourable mention to Too Many Spirits, Weird Wonderful World, and Grocery Run, which were some of my other favourites that didn't make the list.

[A FULL LIST OF ALL WATCHER SERIES BELOW THE CUT FOR REFERENCE IN CASE ANYONE HAS TROUBLE REMEMBERING THE NAME OF EVERY SERIES]

List of all Watcher series (in alphabetical order):

Are You Scared?

Dish Granted

Grocery Run

Here's What You Do [PODCAST]

Hidden Narratives [PODCAST]

Homemade

Making Watcher

Puppet History

Social Distancing & D&D

Spooky Small Talk

Too Many Spirits

Top 5 Beatdown

Tourist Trapped

Watcher Weekly

Weird Wonderful World

Worth a Shot

[blackholelynn]

Your Protection - Part Two

<- Read Part One

Summary: You work as a cashier in a small convenience store, and your days are completely, painfully normal. After a particularly bad run-in with a rude customer, your life gets flipped upside down, and the only one who you can count on ends up being a complete stranger – Dean Winchester.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Cashier!Reader

Warnings: Descriptions of drowning, loss/grief, rude/abusive customer interaction, swearing – these warnings are for this series of parts as a whole, so while some of these warnings may not apply on this part, they will apply for future parts

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Here's the second part! Just a warning that this part is much heavier than the last, so keep in mind the warnings above. Also, I'm now including a tag list by request for this fic, so feel free to let me know if you want added! If there's a character or fic series I'm writing that you would like tagged for, I can create a tag list upon request. Thank you so much for reading!

Tag List: @leigh70

Also cross-posted to my AO3 account, and you can read it here!

~~~

The party was definitely something else, considering that the usual house bashes that you went to had people stacked on top of people. That was definitely not the case at Adam’s party, considering that his house was huge. The vast space made it hard to find Laurie when you arrived, having to twist and turn around already drunk party-goers.

“There you are!” She slurred from behind you, putting her arms around your shoulders. “I’ve been waiting!”

You laughed at her antics and carefully took her arms off you as you turned around. “I see you wasted no time getting the party started without me.”

“Absolutely! Adam is sooo fun. I can’t believe I forgot!”

Adam appeared from within the crowd and came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and putting a sloppy kiss on her neck. She swiftly turned her head and caught his lips when she noticed he was there. You cringed a bit at their improvised makeout session that showed no signs of stopping.

“Actually, Laurie, I think I just saw…Craig! Yeah, Craig from custodial right over there. I’ll go say hi,” you nervously fabricated, and when you slowly melted back into the throngs of the crowd, she hadn’t even noticed you left. Suddenly this party was starting to look worse and worse by the second.

Thankfully, you found the table where the drinks were being kept, and you wasted no time choosing your favorite and downing it in one fell swoop. A few people nearby hooped and hollered, but the crowd’s attention wasn’t drawn for long. Everyone around you seemed to be grouped up, and there was no one you recognized.

Maybe outside will feel a bit less…sweaty.

And it was, in a way. There weren’t nearly as many people outside, but those who were sat around the lawn attached to a partner in some way, shape, or form. Violin music could be heard in the background to bolster the romantic atmosphere, and it only served to cement the loneliness you were feeling, the loneliness that you’d been feeling for months at that point. You dug out your phone to see if a small game would ease your mind, but it was still on your contact screen when the screen unlocked.

There he was – ‘Hero Guy.’

Would it really be that big of a deal if you called him? It’s not like you would see him again, so it might be a fun little distraction. Dean didn’t seem all that bad, considering that he made sure you were safe. It was more than many other people would do, and experience had taught you that.

Before you could make up your mind, a scream rang out. Then a few more, and people started running out the doors in a frenzy. There was pushing and yelling and limbs flying everywhere. Your face scanned everyone pushing past you for Laurie, but no luck. You didn’t even think; your feet moved on their own as you went upstream against the crowd rushing out of the house, on a mission to find your friend.

“Laurie? Laurie, you there?” you called frantically as you started to go through room after room in the large house. You’d made your way to the kitchen when the sight almost made you collapse. “Laurie! Oh my god!”

Your friend laid on the white linoleum with her dark hair spread out around her. Her eyes stared up at the ceiling, completely unfocused, and water spilled from her mouth and onto the ground. She’d drowned – on dry land. Everyone had fled the kitchen, leaving it empty aside from you. Even Adam, who had been so clingy before, was nowhere to be seen.

You rushed to her side, not minding that the water on the floor was soaking your legs to the bone, and pulled out your phone to call 911. You had no idea how to explain the situation and instead just opted to say that she was unresponsive.

“Ma’am, can you feel a pulse?” The operator’s voice pulled you out of the shock you had fallen into.

You hesitantly felt her wrist and then her neck for a pulse, not finding one. “No.”

“Alright. What I need you to do is CPR. Have you ever had training before?”

“Yeah,” you answered quietly. Not since middle school, but training is better than no training .

The operator breathed a sigh of relief. “Good, that’s really good. I’m going to need you to start by making sure her airways are clear, and then you’ll need to start a set of thirty chest compressions. Can you do that for me?”

“I think so.” You then realized your uncertainty and steeled yourself. “Yes, I can do that.”

All the training seemed to come back at once, and you straddled Laurie to begin giving her the necessary compressions. The only thing you could think of to keep time with the chest compressions was Stayin Alive by the Bee Gees, a song that didn’t particularly feel appropriate. You counted each compression meticulously, and when you finished, you checked to see if she was breathing. Still nothing.

As you asked your next question, you were breathless, “Okay, I did 30 chest compressions. Now what?”

“Two big rescue breaths. You know how to do those?”

“Yeah.” You pinched Laurie’s nose and tilted her head back, breathing into her open mouth and watching for her chest to rise.

You knew it was only a handful of minutes, but it felt like hours as you went back and forth between chest compressions and rescue breaths as you were instructed until the paramedics arrived and quickly took your place. Suddenly the house was swarming with first responders and law enforcement, and you were left to sit on the cold, wet kitchen floor in the dress you’d worn to the party.

The adrenaline slowly lessened, and tears began to prick at your eyes. A bubbling hatred started to rise in your chest as you wondered where the hell Adam had gone and why he just left her on the ground. Why had everyone run away? Why hadn’t anyone tried to help her or call for help? She deserved more.

“Hey, are you alright?” The familiar voice made you look up, and you couldn’t believe your eyes. Dean was standing right there, dressed in a suit by the counter, and he seemed to see your confusion. “I forgot to mention that we’re FBI, I guess.”

“You guess? Yeah, it might’ve helped.” You hurriedly wiped away your tears with the back of your palm before standing up, trying to smooth out your tattered and soaked dress. Why it mattered, you weren’t sure. “What is the FBI doing here? This just happened.”

“We heard it on the scanner, and it’s related to the case we’re working on.”

“Which is?”

“We’re not at liberty to discuss it,” Dean said, and it was clear that was the only answer you would be getting.

But you weren’t just going to accept that, not after everything you’d just gone through. “I just had to perform CPR on my best friend who drowned in a kitchen. I think I have the right to know!”

That seemed to strike a chord with the tall man he’d come to the store with, a man you realized was his partner and fellow agent. He looked over at Dean with a pleading stare but still didn’t get much headway with it. Dean was stubborn; you could tell that much.

“You can help us by telling us what you know. Did you see anything out of the ordinary?” Dean fished out a small notebook from his pocket and a pen, but you could tell it was a pretense. The notebook looked brand new, so there was no way he used it frequently.

“Look, I was outside when this all happened. I just ran in here because I heard screaming.”

“You heard screaming and ran towards it?”

It sounds stupid when you put it that way . “Yeah, I did. The only other thing I could tell you was that she was with Adam DiMarco the last I saw her. He’s the guy who threw the party in the first place.”

“And you’re sure you didn’t see anything strange? No flickering lights, no cold spots, no sulfur smells?”

“No.” You cocked your head, not understanding how any of that mattered. It didn’t even seem tangentially related to what you’d just witnessed. “And those things point to…?”

Dean’s partner eagerly put a hand on Dean’s shoulder and steered him towards the door, offering an apologetic smile. “Sorry, he’s just a bit of a conspiracy nut. We’ll keep in touch.”

With that, they quickly left the kitchen, and you were swarmed by other law enforcement who were asking even more questions. Almost all of them were ones that you couldn’t answer because despite Laurie being your best friend, you talked extremely infrequently outside of work. What you did talk about had nothing to do with her personal life, and you couldn’t even tell them who they should contact as family.

Hours passed of questioning before they finally let you leave the scene, and the only saving grace was that one of the newer officers offered you a ride to the hospital to check on Laurie. He escorted you inside and explained the situation to the receptionist, who led you to a room.

You looked around the empty room, saw the snacks and water cart in the corner, and became confused. “I’m sorry, but I thought you were taking me to see Laurie?”

“I’ll be right back. The doctor just needs to talk to you for a moment first,” she said, turning to leave. The expression she wore landed somewhere between pity and guilt, and it caused a nervous knot to form in your stomach. That just left you to sit down in one of the unsettling comfy chairs, hoping that the disgusting nature of your clothes wouldn’t ruin the upholstery.

You stared at the cart beside you and debated taking something to eat. You hadn’t eaten since before you started your shift this morning, but a small piece of you knew that your stomach would only feel worse if you tried to eat. It felt paralyzing to sit in there alone, not knowing what had happened. Just this evening, you talked to her on the phone and saw her having fun with Adam.

When the door opened, you immediately looked up at the doctor, who wore a sullen expression. “Hello. You’re Ms. Hamilton’s friend?”

“Yes,” you said, fully introducing yourself. “Were you able to get a hold of her parents or anyone? Did you let them know what happened?” You were now standing. All the nervous energy was too much to hold while sitting down. The nail on your thumb was hanging on for dear life with how much you were picking at it.

“She doesn’t have any emergency contacts listed. You’re the closest thing we have right now to her family.”

The doctor’s words struck you hard. “Then where is she? Is she alright? What happened?”

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but Laurie didn’t make it. The paramedics couldn’t resuscitate her, and the ER tried to defibrillate and intubate, but we couldn’t save her. I’m so sorry.”

It felt like the world had been ripped out from under you, and suddenly nothing made sense. How was she dead? You’d seen her having fun and making out with Adam not a few hours before, and you’d tried everything after you found her. It felt like a stone was suddenly sitting on your chest, and bile rose to your throat. You began to sob and curled onto one of the chairs in the room, not even registering the doctor’s firm but gentle hand on your shoulder.

You weren’t sure how long you had stayed there crying, but after you managed to calm down enough to speak, you croaked out, “Can I see her?”

“Yes,” the doctor answered solemnly. You followed close behind as you were led through the sanitary walls of the hospital, and as you reached the room, the doctor stopped just short of the door. “She’s just through there. Would you like me to come in with you, or would you prefer to be alone?”

“Alone,” you answered. Your hand trembled as you opened the door, and no matter what you thought you were preparing yourself for, it was nothing close to the real thing.

Laurie lay unmoving on the bed. The intubation tube was still down her throat despite not being attached to anything else, and her hair fell limply on the thin hospital pillow. The pallor of her skin made it clear what fate had dealt her; she was dead.

Your cries fell on deaf ears as you reached out to hold her cold hand. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Laurie.”

You stayed by her side for as long as the doctor and the hospital staff allowed you, quietly muttering apologies to Laurie. It didn’t matter whether she could hear them or not. The time seemed to freeze inside the room, where the only sign that everyone else’s life kept moving was the sound of the hospital bustling outside.

Eventually, the doctor ushered you back out of the room, and the officer that escorted you to the hospital drove you home. You were thankful that it was the middle of the night so that you wouldn’t have to explain why you were driven home in a squad car to anybody else in your apartment building. Your legs and feet screamed in pain as you ascended the steps to your apartment, and by the time you unlocked the door, it was all you could do not to immediately fall onto the couch despite your wet clothes.

After changing into pajamas and curling under a blanket on your couch, you couldn’t help but still be perturbed by Dean’s questions from earlier. Flickering lights? Cold spots? Sulfur? It all sounded like something out of a bad B-movie that ripped off The Conjuring. Your curiosity was practically eating at you, and it seemed like a good enough distraction to keep you from spiraling from the grief.

You pulled your laptop off of your small coffee table and into your lap, and your fingers typed in a flurry across the keys as you frantically searched google. The results were an assortment of different home improvement blogs telling you how you would fix issues of that nature, but you knew that wasn’t what you were looking for.

It wasn’t until some deep scouring that you found something that seemed related, though not promising. “Jesus–” you muttered to yourself as you scrolled through the webpage in question. The word ‘Ghostfacers’ was splattered at the top with a skull as the O. The entire page was an eyesore, but the video playing showed two men explaining the existence of ghosts and how to stop them.

Is this what he meant when he called Dean a conspiracy theorist? He watches this shit?

However, you weren’t one to talk, as you couldn’t pull yourself away from the screen. Was it weird? Yes. Stupid? Absolutely. But entertaining? Undeniably. You huddled into your blanket the rest of the night and watched those two idiots, Harry and Ed, explain the inner workings of a world you didn’t believe in.

When you finally dragged your weary eyes away, you realized you’d stayed up the whole night, and it was only a few hours before your next shift. You groaned and leaned against the couch cushion, deciding that you were definitely not going in today. Without the distraction of the Ghost Facers, the cold grip of grief wrapped itself around you again, and the idea of working through that while having customers berate you was disheartening, at the least.

Your manager was pissed and tried to talk you into coming in for your shift, but it was no use. You tossed your phone onto the couch beside you after hanging up and flopped down further into the cushions. Watching more Ghostfacers suddenly seemed like a chore you didn’t want to finish, but you didn’t want to just vedge on the couch and do nothing. You got ready and left your apartment to head towards the library in a burst of motivation.

~~~

Continue on to Part Three ->

[twig-soup]

and if everything goes? what then? | wip intro a multimedia novel | image credit: @argodeon

Mara is twelve years old when an officer breaks the news: her parents are dead. Six months later Mara is living with her widowed aunt, Laurie, when she is taken through a portal to a mysterious island that claims to need her help. Determined to save her niece, Laurie journeys across the galaxy to find her.

genre/setting

briefly set on early 2000's-esque earth (east coast), but most of the story stakes place in various locations across the milky way and on a secluded island (not on earth). with this one we're operating under the assumption that the galaxy is populated by other humans (but earth is secluded and ignorant); there is only one known nonhuman intelligent species. expect space ships + other neat technology, a gnarly curse, "old magic"/the spirit world ("magic"/spirits as an entity not a tool or innate gift, though they've been known to work with/befriend humans. more of a myth/mystery to most people), cyborg friends, space pirates,,, oh my

themes + general vibe (+ some storyline info)

grief, healing/growth, platonic bonds, nature, self-trust, martyrdom, lgbtq+ and now some vibes: the swell of delight we feel when admiring the sky; the final tendril of smoke dissipating as an incense stick finishes burning, and the red glow that goes out; the frustration and sheer determination of learning a new instrument or hobby as a kid; that flash of panic when you realize you love someone; seeing a small green leaf on a plant you thought was done for; stepping around flowers and mushrooms instead of stepping on them; the smell of your favorite person’s sweater; when your eyes sting from chlorine but you keep swimming anyway; tightening your ponytail before The Thing; blue lips; jumping to tap the doorframe or swing from a tree branch; kissing animals; opening things with your teeth; kissing food before you eat it; the way your eyes squint and lips flatten when someone disrespects a friend

more on the vibe: the story is told in close third and alternates between mara's pov and laurie's. mara's storyline is soft, exploratory, harvest moon/stardew valley-esque, but with a darkness underneath that keeps becoming more and more apparent. laurie's storyline is more of an adventure, with much more action. mara is eased into a new world; laurie is pushed and dragged and forced to dig up her strength very early on. this really correlates with their internal arcs; both are dealing with grief, but while mara is in active crisis, struggling to see a future for herself without her parents there to help her grow up, laurie clings to her grief as a way to keep the love between her and her husband alive, living every day since he died three years ago as if he might walk through the door. laurie needs to be pushed to live her life again, mara needs to be grounded and to find stability within herself. laurie is young btw, like 33.

"multimedia" elements

sound bites (music, breath, footsteps in the snow,,), video clips (pov shots of climbing trees n whatever), artwork, perhaps poetry, fairy tales(? thinking of a monster calls and oranges are not the only fruit), maybe even a choose-your-own-adventure sequence? not 100% on all this, but i'm very excited about all of the possibilities and fully expect to go insane because fuck this is going to be a lot of work. but my vision !!! it's so worth it. i'm so concerned as a writer with giving my readers sensory experiences that make them FEEL feel feel; i'm also considering giving mara a journal/sketchbook and either creating it as a supplement to the novel and/or including pages from it.

that's all! mwuah

tag: #wip: aiegwt

[mooniefics]

— beck and call

pairings : yelena / fem reader

word count : 10.2k

tags : one-sided relationship, lowkey master / servant dynamic, eventual smut, mild body worship, dom / sub undertones, power imbalance

warnings : contains nsfw, mildly dub-con at some points, yelena being physically rough w you for disobedience

summary : serving as yelena's personal guard turned out to yield many unexpected consequences.

to say that you were unnerved by the task of guarding an anti-marleyan volunteer would be an understatement.

you hadn't quite digested the fact there even existed a world beyond the walls that had towered over you for your entire life, looming high in the sky like a reminder that you would be trapped, penned like an animal for the rest of your prospective future. that had been your initial motivation to become a soldier, to at least advance to a garrison position where you could have a taste of exclusive information regarding what lay beyond the stone and metal bearings. but in the final year of your basic training, everything had changed. there were talks of outlandish things, of traitors from another land that had hidden amongst the native people, talks of islands and foreign soil and something more than the confines of the walls.

upon graduating, you had ultimately chosen the scouting legion, seeing how the garrison was quickly being disbanded and the remaining soldiers that hadn't stepped into their early days of retirement were joining the aforementioned regiment. the benefits only seemed to become greater and greater with the extinction of titans, the whispers of allies and retribution and rebuilding a lost legacy of your people. but somehow, all that novel luster had become muted, completely darkened by the imposing presence of this singular individual seated before you. you had only been debriefed on their name and role in military operations before your assignment, leaving you worryingly unprepared for arguably the most important assignment of your career.

the sound of your name passing from your squad leader's lips grounded you, the formal introduction quickly drawing to a close as he relayed the information to the striking foreigner. "she will be your personal escort for the remainder of your stay. if you have any questions regarding the island, feel free to ask her at any time."

"wonderful." their voice was rich, smooth with confidence and underlined with something unfamiliar—it was the way their lips rounded out the first syllable, or perhaps the way they spoke from the depths of their throat.

you felt your back stiffen as they rose from their seat, somehow rising taller and taller, their stature reaching much higher than anyone you'd ever met. immediately, your right hand clamped into a fist, thudding over your heart as your left arm hooked behind your back, spitting out your full name and designation just as you had while saluting hundreds of times. "i'm incredibly grateful for this opportunity to occupy you. thank you for all that you and the volunteers have done for paradis."

you were shocked that your voice hadn't quivered with the way their eyes dragged down your body, grey and barren of any emotion besides a hint of intrigue, sharp features framed by short, fair hair. they were strikingly handsome, masculine yet feminine at the same time, an indiscernible sort of beauty that perplexed and enthralled you.

"no need to thank me, soldier." whether they were assuring or commanding you, you didn't know, only cognizant of how they nearly purred out your title. swallowing, you lowered your hands, standing at ease and forcing yourself to not look to your superior for encouragement.

"then i shall show you to your lodgings. please follow me."

you forced yourself to turn your back to them and take a step, then another, mentally counting them one by one until you reached the door. you could hear their heavy footfalls following behind you, the distance steadily beginning to close until you forced your own pace to quicken. on the silent walk out of the management building, you had found a speed that worked, one long stride of theirs equaling two of yours, leaving you straining to keep a comfortable yet polite space between the both of you. you risked a glance back, having to crane your head up to catch a glimpse of their face. they had been staring idly at the back of your head, meeting your eyes when you turned to briefly face them, the moment cut short by your own haste to fix your view back onto the path before you.

"how shall i address you?" you attempted to fill the cool void of discomfort that had suddenly settled in the air around you, shoulders tense and brow taut.

"anything works."

their answer offered nothing in return to your inquiry, the faint image of their face flitting across your mind. you hadn't looked at them long enough to commit their features to memory, but you had looked enough to remember their startlingly cold eyes, angular nose and full lips, sharp jaw and heavy brow.

"m-miss yelena?" you attempted, fighting the urge to nervously fidget or give away any sign of your unease.

"if it suits you." was their final reply before the two of you fell silent once again.

the lack of discussion persisted through the remainder of the journey, the only sounds occupying the space being the fall of your boots against the ground and the jingle of your keyring that you drew from your pocket to unlock the front door. you stood aside to hold it open as she walked in, feeling an odd sensation flutter in the pit of your stomach when she had to duck under the frame to enter. the housing itself wasn't extravagant, only a single open room with a desk, bookshelf, dresser, kitchenette, bed, and a small bathroom area to the side to occupy the space, the ceiling seeming much lower than it was due to yelena's formidable height. she looked out at the room, flicking a stray lock of hair out of her eyes, face neutral and inexpressive.

"how quaint," she turned to face you, a prick of unease making your posture pin-straight once again, "is there any reason they've put us volunteers away from the main soldier barracks?"

your mind suddenly went blank at the worst of times, unknowing of the exact answer but knowing you had to over something in response. "s-simply for your comfort. we wouldn't like it to seem as if we don't trust you to stay on your own."

"ah, so considerate of you." for the first time she smiled, a barely-there tilt at the corner of her lips that made your heart stutter, "then i'll be sure to make myself at home."

she stepped slowly over to the bookshelf, dragging her fingers over the backs of the books with an apparent interest. you stayed standing where you were, unsure if you should leave then or wait a bit longer for just the right moment. something about her presence was unnerving, but there was also an undeniable allure that you almost gravitated to, despite her being a stranger.

"do you need anything else?" you piped up, letting your hands link behind your back, fingers twisting together.

"not that i can think of." each word seemed scripted, as if she'd practiced this entire conversation a dozen times before it'd ever happened.

"then i'll be on my way." you shakily smiled in an attempt to seem put together, hoping that she didn't immediately see through the weak front, "i'll be back in a couple of hours to escort you to dinner."

you bowed and took your leave, almost desperate to escape her all-consuming gaze and find refuge outside her line of sight. but even after you'd shut the door behind you and stepped off the porch, well on your way down the path you'd taken, you could still feel how her eyes had examined every fine detail of your stance, analyzing every shift and subtle movement you made with a calculating look. deep down, you already knew that this position would be completely exhausting from the get-go.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

you had fulfilled your typical nightly routine—fetch yelena from her quarters to escort her to the cafeteria, go your separate ways and sit at your usual tables after getting food, finish your dinner with five minutes to spare in the dining hour to go inform yelena that it was time for her to wrap up her meal so you could take her back. she'd followed you down the usual path, now lit with newly placed street lamps that turned on after the sun sunk below the horizon and night fell. there had been nothing out of the ordinary, aside from the way the volunteer table had eyed you with a formerly absent intrigue when you came to speak to yelena.

that comfortable distance you'd kept between the two of you had slowly been narrowing over the last few days, a development which had peaked both your curiosity and your anxiety. while you still kept yourself a few paces ahead of her, you could feel how close her presence had become, an almost physical weight that settled itself over your back and urged you to walk faster and faster to escape its grasp. but you knew that she was all too good at reading your body language, somehow having familiarized herself with even the finest idiosyncrasies that incriminated you in just about a month, an understanding that had only grown deeper as more and more time had passed. although you felt as if you'd gained the upper hand for a few days when you realized that she always let a bit of emotion slip in her large, ashen eyes when you said something just enough out of the ordinary to catch her interest, any progress you thought you'd made was quickly squandered by her own advancements. today was no different, another morning and afternoon filled with dodging the occasional pervasive question from her about the simplest of things.

were you an only child? had you been closer to your mother or father when you were younger? did you join the scouts to explore the world or because you simply found no value in living out your life doing something different? they had started out with an ambiguous end-goal, but slowly evolved into even more unprofessional matters—attempts to provoke a discussion about your love life, what you might look for in a prospective partner, whether you wanted to settle down after you retired or stay unattached for the remainder of your life.

you always dodged, and she always let up for a while, lulling you into a sense of safety that was always broken by that same question again, worded differently but asking for an answer that was the same as the last. the more you ran from her company, the more she seemed to push it upon you, pleased when you would slip up and get flustered when she caught you off guard. so you held your ground this evening, even when your fingers quivered at the realization that she was practically peering over your shoulder, watching you unlock the door to her quarters with just barely enough space separating you to not feel her breath fanning down the back of your neck.

you quickly opened the door and began moving to hold it open for her like you always did, but felt a large hand resting at your shoulder, prompting you to quickly spin on your heel to face her. she was usually finished with her casual interrogating by this hour, which was why you were more than surprised to see that she was staring down at you, having lowered yourself to your level enough for you to not have to tilt your head completely back to meet her eye.

you took an instinctive step back, flinching at the sound of the door falling shut behind you, effectively caging you in between it and the woman before you. pale, dangerously alert irises traversed your expression, drinking in every small feature that had been drawn back into a confused look, stomach already knotting into a twisted tangle of warmth and icy panic.

"are you afraid of me?"

the immediate answer sat on the tip of your tongue, lips parting to deliver the lie you had ready for such an inquiry. but something in her eyes spoke to you, silently, warning you not to give into dishonesty. you couldn't possibly admit to still being fearful of her, not when you were meant to be the powerful one in this relationship. you weren't supposed to say yes, but you also found yourself unable to lie as you always did, not when the path you'd walked with her was still worryingly empty and you felt the hard wood of the door now pressing unforgivingly into your back with each minuscule step back.

"sh-should i be?" you cursed your stammer, betraying your evident lack of control, the only redeeming aspect being the non-committal implication that responding with another question held.

that seemed to throw her off a bit, owlish eyes slowly blinking at you as she thought. even up close like this, you couldn't identify a single flaw in her appearance—pale skin smooth like porcelain, unconcerned by any sort of natural imperfections, hair like fine silk and eyes piercingly bright, yet clouded like a stormy sky. you squeaked at a hand seizing your collar, right hand instinctively flying down to the scabbard strapped around your thigh, clammy palm shakily clenching around the hilt of your blade, the other clamping firmly around her wrist.

she only smirked at the presumed threat, pressing herself even closer to you, enough that you could feel the radiant heat of her lips just barely grazing your own. you suppressed the trembling threatening to shake through your every limb, beginning to feel lightheaded with the effort to contain your quickening breaths, swallowing down your dread, forcing yourself to meet her gaze when she spoke.

"if it suits you. it doesn't affect me either way, does it?"

you just barely shook your head side to side, not realizing you were rising up onto your tiptoes until she pulled you forward that last inch by your shirt, eyes falling shut as her lips melded easily against yours. an inexplicable warmth flourished in your chest, heart tripping up to match the frantic speed of your thoughts, fingers clenching around her slender, clothed wrist. you forced yourself back with a sharp intake of breath, backing yourself far enough into the door that you could feel the wood digging into the small of your back.

"m-miss yelena, you can't—!"

she didn't allow you to finish, tugging you back to your previous position with a low huff, the faint snap of a stitch popping somewhere on your collar going unregarded as you let out a small noise of surprise, wide eyes relenting and squeezing shut. a voice in the back of your mind screamed for you to draw your knife, push her away, force her into her quarters, anything but just standing there and allowing her to exert such a humiliating power over you. but it was so much easier to sink into her grasp, to feel her fingers slowly relax and hold you at a comfortable height rather than force you up, to allow the hot flush of an unknown intimacy to settle deep into your skin.

you'd been kissed before, it wasn't as if she stole your first chance from you, but it had never been like this. you had only brushed the surface of gentle pecks and lingering hands on the other's face until you both giggled and pulled away, never faced with such a certain confidence that almost frightened you more than it allured you, an unspoken order that left you at her mercy rather than on equal footing. and though you'd all but forgotten about your initial rejection, yelena had not, chastising you with a firm bite to your lower lip that drew a less-than-composed whimper from the back of your throat.

"i would advise you to not dictate what i can and cannot do in the future." she stated firmly, tone devoid of any personal inflection, barely pulling away enough for you to meet her stare, hand tightening around your collar once more, "understood?"

"y-yes, miss yelena." you barely whispered, nodding affirmatively. a flicker of amusement momentarily lightened her expression when you drew your tongue over the aching skin of your lips, the taste of faint copper and black tea clinging to your taste buds.

she slowly slackened her grip, not even so much as blinking as she straightened her posture and reached past you to open the door, allowing you a moment to scamper out of her path and pull your shirt back into place with trembling hands. "then, you are dismissed, soldier."

she didn't spare you a second glance before proceeding into her quarters, shutting the door behind her without another word. you stood dumbly for a moment, licking over your bottom lip once more, just then realizing how shallow and quick your breathing was. you steadied yourself enough to lock her door, shaking away the mental fog of such an abrupt change of scenery, pulling your jacket tighter around you to make up for the lack of her warmth pressing into you, confused as to why you had just allowed yourself to be ordered around by the individual that you were meant to be keeping in check. the walk back to your dorm was blurry at best, a few good-nights from your colleagues that prompted a hum of acknowledgement, thankfully nothing that required you to recount your daily fulfilled duties or anything past a few minutes prior.

even after you'd shed your clothes, pointedly ignoring how wrinkled your shirt front had become, cleaned yourself up and crawled into the isolated comfort of your bed, you found yourself unable to sleep. perhaps you could learn from this experience, remind yourself at all times to put even more distance between the two of you. maybe you would have to stop conversing with her so casually, or perhaps your best option would be to cut your losses and request an assignment change, consequences or record mark-ups be damned. but as you tossed and turned on your mattress, burying your face into your pillows and trying to rid your skin of any memory of her touch, a voice at the back of your head ceaselessly murmured, a rambled premonition of more turbulence to come.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

this day marked five weeks since the initial incident, there had been no activity like it since—although you couldn't say whether you thought that was a bad thing or not. not to say that you hadn't been keeping your distance, the first few days were spent cautiously looking over your shoulder, making sure to keep her even further than arm's length but still close enough to guarantee that she couldn't slip away on her own. she behaved respectfully enough, although she herself seemed to be acting as if nothing had even happened, greeting you like normal and allowing you to escort her to meals and strategy meetings when necessary, despite how she'd affirmed that you weren't to give her any orders.

you hadn't reported the infraction to any superiors, knowing that you would get caught up in an unnecessary fuss that might even get you stuck at the bottom of the ranking list once again, an unthinkable outcome that only made you sure that the right decision was to keep your mouth shut. the previous afternoon was the first time yelena had made a special request, describing how unfortunate it was that she was lacking just a few proper amenities that would really make her lodgings "feel just like home". your persistent hesitance had eased after the first week of safety, and you fulfilled your responsibility of maintaining her comfort by arriving early this morning, toting a small bag of a dark ground powder and cups.

you were surprised to see that yelena was already awake upon your arrival, seated at a table that looked far too small for her, reading one of the many books from her provided bookshelf. you exchanged polite greetings, her not rising from her place until you'd lit the fire beneath the stove and set out a plate and cup for her at the counter, stowing away the rest in whatever free space you could find. you stood by while she took care of making whatever it was she wanted herself, noting the fragrant richness that had filled the air upon her steeping the powder in heated water.

"they only serve black tea in the cafeteria," she said, speaking to no one in particular, plucking a ladle from the utensil rack, "it's been ages since i had a cup of coffee in the morning."

the heat of the stove was beginning to warm the room, prompting you to shed your jacket and place it on the back of the chair yelena had not been previously seated at. your shirt beneath it was more forgiving, a thin material that had always hung a bit loosely from your shoulders, great for the hotter days when you were still expected to be in uniform.

"have you ever had a cup of coffee?" her voice interrupted your meandering stream of thought, the sound of liquid being poured into a cup faintly catching your attention.

"no, i don't think i have."

"would you like to try some?"

the offer stoked the spark of bothersome curiosity, the scent filling the air and mingling with the ambient sound of crackling wood and the feel of the hot air making you want to accept. perhaps this was her way of making amends, or just doing something pleasant for the worker that she was made to follow behind like their second shadow.

"if it's not too much trouble, then.."

"of course it isn't."

you felt a light sweat beginning to bead down your back, pulling your handkerchief from your pocket and dabbing at your neck. this space wasn't properly suited for a stove to be used, seeing as the unlatching mechanisms on the window had been removed for the sake of thwarting any sort of curfew breaking by the volunteers, meaning there was little ventilation aside from the small chimney extending out of the kitchenette area. you stole a glance at yelena, now opening the cabinet that you had strained to reach with ease.

the memory of her hand fisting your shirt, the collar that now hugged just the slightest bit looser at the base of your neck, the long healed-over bite that had left the soft flesh of your lips feeling raw for the following few days. the external heat of the still burning stove was only intensified by the flush climbing up to your cheeks, the desire to release a button or two on your shirt and free some of your skin to the open air becoming undeniable. it felt a bit ironic that the one time you'd properly stepped into her quarters for more than a quick minute to help her get something sorted was the one time the tension that always hung in the air between the two of you was replaced by something tangibly suffocating, the sweltering heat that made you kick off your blankets in the dreary silence at night when the recollection of her kiss relentlessly looped in your mind and chased away any thought of sleep.

you hooked a finger on the collar of your shirt, gently tugging it to the side to absentmindedly press the soft cloth over the skin, wiping away any bothersome perspiration that would leave you uncomfortable by the time you were allowed to change out of your uniform and shower it away.

"what's that?" your eyes darted up at her question, catching sight of the two plated teacups in her hands before you met her gaze.

"i beg your pardon?" you asked meekly.

"that. at your shoulder." you glanced down to where your handkerchief had previously been.

"oh, do you mean this?" she nodded when you pointed to the raised line of skin marring your shoulder, a thick scar that you'd stopped fussing over after realizing that it was an inevitable outcome. "it's a scar," you clarified, tucking your personal cloth back in your pocket, "just about everyone in the military has the same one."

she didn't respond, but held your gaze as she proceeded to the table to set the cups down. you'd become more accustomed to these silent requests, and you knew that she was telling you to continue.

"you work with the equipment engineers, right?" she nodded. "then you've seen our harnesses. all those leather straps end up digging into our skin and leaving scars pretty much all over. although, i did practice on the omnidirectional gear a bit more than all the other recruits during basic training to increase my proficiency, so mine may be deeper.."

you tensed as she approached, slow, deliberate steps steadily closing the distance between the two of you until she was right in front of you. she had started stooping down more often around you, only when she was directly addressing you alone, but it was something that you noticed all the same. a part of you wanted to feel offended, that she thought it necessary to lower yourself to your level as if you were beneath her in a way besides physical stature, but you couldn't deny that you enjoyed the exclusive treatment. she never seemed concerned with doing any sort of thing with anyone else—not with her colleagues, not with other soldiers of or below your ranking, not with any of your own superiors, only you. in a way, it made you feel acknowledged.

"could i see?"

"huh?" was your unprofessional response, but she didn't allow you any time to correct it.

"your scars. where else do you have them?"

"oh." you swallowed, forcing yourself to look up into her steely eyes, "well, i have them on the soles of my feet, and around my thighs, mostly around my torso."

a hand on your abdomen made your back go stiff, her touch pressing lightly over your shirt. "here?"

you nodded, small and timid before her, a trickle of sweat beginning to slide down your back. you realized that you had never had to look down at yelena, not until this present moment where she had knelt down on one knee in front of you, holding your gaze for just a moment before she undid a single button from the bottom of your shirt, glancing up at you as if to check for any sign of refusal before she undid another, then another.

there was nothing forceful about her motions today, nimble fingers patiently unfastening each clasp with care until your shirt revealed your midsection. one slender hand pulled aside the cotton fabric, the other reaching out, just barely grazing the skin of your stomach where the long, pale scar from your utility belt stretched horizontally across your body. her fingertips were warm from handling the kitchenware, but the shiver that crawled up your spine was cold, almost electric, a strange sensation squeezing around your heart and lungs, making each breath quicker than the last.

"was it painful?" she asked quietly, a tinge of earnesty lining her words, features entirely relaxed as they always were.

you let out a breath you didn't know you'd been holding, voice barely reaching a whisper. "yes."

she focused her eyes onto the marred skin, following the raised line of flesh to your sides, brow cinching upwards the slightest bit at the sight of another carving down your waist, following the curvature of your ribs.

"what resilience.." she murmured, free hand returning to undo the remaining buttons of your shirt, "determination is such a beautiful trait, don't you think?" her eyes flitted up to meet yours, sharp and observant, fingers gingerly wrapping around your waist, thumb stroking down your lumbar. "for most, i have to hear it in their voice, or through their words—but it has always been different with you." she pulled a button free. "i see it in your eyes, the way you carry yourself, it's written all over your body." another undone button, you could feel the warmth of her breath fanning across your stomach, the graze of her fingertips tracing up your side and halting at the cloth wrappings over your breasts. "are there more under this?"

your knees felt a few flattering words away from buckling, each gentle touch making the fine hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. you nodded, lips parting to take in a much-needed deep breath, realizing that your shirt was now completely open, exposing the entirety of your scarred torso aside from what remained covered by your chest bindings. your fingers curled into your palm, trembling, just then noticing how soft yelena's hands were in comparison to your own, absent of callous and work-roughened skin. you bit at the inside of your cheek, blinking down at her as you watched a thin finger trace the seam of the cloth, finding the tucked end within moments and gently pulling it free.

a few loud knocks at the door were startling enough to make you jump, head snapping to the side to face the front of the house, a muffled call of your last name from the other side making an anxious knot twist painfully tight deep in your gut. you quickly stepped away, leaving yelena kneeling on the floor, struggling to button up your shirt without even bothering to fix your chest cloth. as soon as you'd gotten yourself situated, you opened the door to find your squad leader awaiting you on the other side.

"is everything alright? breakfast started five minutes ago."

you hoped that the disbelief on your face could be taken as the expression of someone who had simply lost track of time. "i apologize, sir! m-miss yelena put in a request for marleyan coffee yesterday, and i was simply waiting for her to finish before i escorted her to the cafeteria."

you forced yourself to stay composed, trying to focus on the impassive face of your squad leader. there was a stark difference between the emotionlessness of yelena and that of everyone else around you, she somehow made her lack of any sort of feeling or warmth a beautiful kind of coldness, unlike the unnatural stoicism of your superiors. you saw his mouth open to reply, but you were both surprised by a sudden presence behind you, a firm hand at your shoulder, his eyes moving from looking down at you to looking up at the woman behind you, a flicker of genuine unease flitted across his hardened features.

"please don't fault her for my lack of punctuality," she said, a false sincerity lightening her usual low tone, "i simply wanted to enjoy a taste of home, is all. is my presence imperative?"

"i was only making sure everyone was accounted for." your squad leader asserted, staring up at her in an obvious attempt to intimidate that you knew would fail, "as long as you're being properly monitored, do as you please."

"understood." her fingers curled around your shoulder, gently urging you back, away from the door, "then i won't dawdle any longer, i'll join you all in the cafeteria momentarily."

yelena shut the door for you as soon as you took a step back, waiting until the steps of your squad leader had descended off of the porch and disappeared down the path before speaking to you. "i do hope i didn't get you in trouble."

you turned on your heel to face her, feeling a slight flutter in your chest at the sight of her already having lowered herself to your height. "oh, no, you don't have to worry about that.. he's always been a bit on the uptight side of things."

the corners of her lips perked up into the faintest smile before she proceeded back to the table, pressing a finger to the side of one of the teacups. "the coffee's gone cold now. my apologies for the distraction."

distraction, the wry thought flitted across your mind. you guessed that word was suitably to describe allowing her to nearly undress you before the sun had even fully risen in the sky. this was becoming a dangerous game, an ever-lengthening round of cat and mouse, and each day that passed made your more and more certain that you were the one who was running despite your inherent position of power over her. there was something absolutely captivating about her, whether it be the air of mystery that no amount of questions could dispel, or the way that she could practically bring you to your knees with just a few careful words—the more thought you put into it, the more instances of appeal that you seemed to find that only made you want to sink deeper and deeper into the depths that was her subtle control over you.

"i just don't want us to arrive late and miss out on anything." you said lamely, empty words to fill the air as you moved across the room to grab your jacket.

"perhaps another time." she replied, removing the dishes from the table to deposit them in the sink, leaving you with that sole promise that insinuated much more than just another cup of coffee.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"miss yelena, i don't know if we're allowed to be in this section of the building—"

"no one has stopped us yet, have they?" yelena didn't turn back to address you, only continuing forward with that long stride that took two quick steps of your own to match.

she was correct in the regard that no one had questioned her presence in the west wing of the management building, and the few that had begun to object stopped immediately upon catching sight of you following obediently behind her. you felt a bit like a prop, being used as almost a badge of clearance by the one and only individual that you were meant to keep from unauthorized locations such as this one. but her flat assertion that she had important business that gave you nothing in the way of information of direction before she'd taken off for the barracks, leaving you only able to chase after her and hope that no one figured out that she wasn't supposed to be there in the event that she truly wasn't meant to be.

you didn't have long to ruminate on your circumstances before you arrived at a door flanked by a single soldier, a young man that you recognized as someone affiliated with the more well-known soldiers from the 104th graduating class. though you didn't recall his name, you nodded politely to him as he opened the door for yelena, trailing closely behind her while still trying to peek around her slender frame. it was one of the smaller meeting rooms, a large window providing a fair amount of natural illumination down onto the round table, the sole occupant being another one of the anti-marleyan volunteers.

"glad to see you could make it." onyankopon smiled broadly up at yelena, his warm gaze flitting to you momentarily before traveling back to his associate, "no trouble, i assume?"

"none at all." she replied as she took a seat at the head of the table, looking as if she belonged there more than any of the superiors you'd seen seated there, "this one made sure no one interrupted our trip."

you flushed at the praise, standing pin straight beside her chair, hands lowering from behind your back to at your sides, trying not to let the enjoyment of her commendation show on your face. he turned his attention to you, inspiring a quick skip of your heart, fingers tapping nervously at your thighs.

"it's great to hear that yelena has been treating you well." he said matter-of-factly, but a cocked eyebrow and tilt of his head seemed to request a verbal confirmation of his statement.

you blinked, your words catching in your throat as your eyes involuntarily glanced to yelena, an instinctive desire to hold your tongue in the face of speaking about her, an odd sort of insecurity concerning your character flaring in your chest. but that split second of silence was all that she needed to take up the task of answering onyankopon, planting an elbow down on the tabletop and resting her chin in her palm.

"i have been treating her well." she affirmed, almost sounding bored, tilting her head to address you as she reached out and took the hand of yours that was closest to her, drawing it close to her face as she examined your expression, "isn't that right?"

you swallowed, mouth dry, nodding at yelena before remembering that you were meant to be answering onyankopon. "oh, y-yes. miss yelena has been very easy to work with."

pale eyes glimmered at your positive answer, mouth twitching upwards into that rare, barely noticeable smile. you felt your heart jump into your throat as she brought her lips to your knuckles, planting a soft, brief kiss over the back of your hand before gently placing it down at your side. she looked at you as if she knew exactly what you were thinking, like she could hear that unspoken worry of whether she should be doing this in front of her colleague, like she was giving the silent reply that she could do as she pleased.

"then, shall we begin?" onyankopon's voice brought you back to the present, shooting you another momentary glance before fixing his eyes on yelena.

"oh, right." she turned back to you, "be a dear and leave us for a moment to chat."

the mix of confusion at her request and surprise at the affectionate title halted your thoughts. "i'm sorry, miss yelena, but i don't think i'm allowed to do that."

your heart sank as you watched a look of annoyance draw across her features, large eyes narrowing, brow knitting together. she didn't speak for a moment, almost like she was waiting for you to take back your refusal and head on your way without any further discussion. when you did neither, she frowned, reaching out her hand once more, her fingers drawing up your palm to wrap around your wrist.

you nearly yelped as she clinched her grasp almost painfully tight, thumb pressing down hard over the bone at the side of your wrist, nails digging in your skin. her voice was low when she spoke, dangerously commanding and castigating, each word carefully enunciated.

"i said go."

only after you'd earnestly nodded did she release you, allowing you to scamper out of the room, blinking away the tears that had begun to well in your eyes from your stinging skin and the way she'd spoken to you. you took your place at the side of the door unoccupied by the soldier you'd seen before entering, fingers shakily tracing over the underside of your wrist.

though you weren't bleeding, the skin felt raw and irritated, your pulse racing fast in your veins. perhaps it wasn't so bad that you'd left them in there on their own, seeing as the older, more experienced guard was also standing by, well aware that there was no one monitoring them in the meeting room. so you obediently stood and waited, straining to make out coherent words from their muffled voices, contemplating why seeing yelena upset with you was so distressing.

why had you allowed her to order you around? why had you even complied with her demands instead of outright refusing like you were supposed to? why were you worried that she would still be angry with you by the time she walked out of that meeting room? you couldn’t understand what concerned you so deeply about what yelena thought of you, but somehow, the overbearing silence of the empty hallway made it even more difficult to wrap your head around your thoughts. you were so wrapped up in your panicked attempt at contemplation that you didn’t even notice the sound of their footsteps approaching from the other side of the door, only torn from your mind when the door opened from beside you. the two marleyans emerged, laughing affably together, exchanging temporary farewells until they could see each other at dinner that evening.

you looked up at her anxiously, wishing she’d spare you a glance for even just a moment instead of keeping her gaze fixed on the only other individuals populating the space. you hid your hands behind your back rather than in your pockets, knowing that it’d look horrendously unprofessional. but before you could worry about anyone catching sight of the reddened marks, the familiar soldier addressed you directly.

“i do look forward to working more closely with you in the future, i don’t believe we’ve met before. ” he said, outstretching a hand for you to shake, “floch forster.”

you quickly tugged the sleeve of your coat over your injured wrist, grasping his hand and giving a firm up and down, only offering your own name and a polite nod in return. you didn’t exactly know what he meant by working together in the future, but you assumed that it was in reference to your shared position of personal guards to marleyan volunteers.

you tensed at the familiar weight of a hand on your shoulder, feeling a firm squeeze that you knew all too well. “then we shall be going now. come.”

you immediately complied, giving a brief goodbye to the two men before proceeding quickly behind yelena, practically at her heels as the two of you walked further and further down the hall, shrouded in another bout of tense silence. you escorted her out of the building without issue, through the barracks and all the way to her lodgings, receiving nothing in the way of assurance or acknowledgment the entire way.

you wanted to speak up for yourself, ask if she was angered with you, anything to fill the quiet void, but you couldn't bring your mouth to push the words free. you hoped that she'd at least offer you her usual goodbye, as inherently lifeless and out of polite necessity as it may be, but it didn't come even as you unlocked the door to her quarters and held it open for her to enter, not even turning back before she sat herself at her desk and got to work on the clutter of papers occupying it.

you left her, feeling strangely heavy with defeat, unable to focus on anything for long before your mind strayed back to her upset expression, or the physical evidence of her displeasure with you. over the next hours, you constantly checked your watch, counting down the minutes to dinner, to when you'd be able to justify being in her presence and hopefully receive some sort of indicator that you were in the clear. you'd always been someone who did what was asked of you, a people pleaser—but there was something different about the inclination you felt towards yelena. it wasn't the kind of obedience that you gave to your superiors, she wasn't anything close to your superior in a technical sense, but somehow it felt natural, a servitude borne out of free will rather than one determined by ranking.

you knew you hadn't done anything wrong by denying her initially, but yet you still hoped for her forgiveness.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

you quivered at the feeling of her lips sucking at the already marked skin of your neck, thighs squeezing tighter around her waist, her nails digging deep enough into them that they nearly threatened to tear the fabric of your pants. you swallowed down yet another moan, one hand working its way deeper into her short hair, the other clenching tightly to the fabric of her barely-buttoned dress shirt. your soft, shuddering breaths filled the space of the open air around you, the fear of knowing your squad leader was just outside the door waiting for a reply, adjacent to the wall that she'd pushed you up against despite your meek warnings that dinner would be starting any minute now, was almost tangible in your stomach.

she pulled away from the reddened flesh with a low hum, nipping at your ear as she demanded, "make him go away."

you barely nodded, eyes screwing shut when she began yet another bruising assault to your shoulder, not even giving you enough time to collect yourself and speak. "i apologize, s-sir. miss yelena wasn't f-feeling well, so i brought her meal h-h-here instead of escorting her to the cafeteria..!"

you nearly whimpered as her teeth sank into the soft junction between your neck and shoulder, silently praying to any higher power that may be listening for your superior to just leave already. "understood. please return the plates to the cafeteria before they close up and make it to the dormitories before curfew."

"y-yes, sir..!"

you could barely count his descending steps down the porch over the sound of your own blood roaring in your ears, only completely assured of his absence when she sighed against your skin, soothing the ache with a few apologetic licks, pressing her lips everywhere they could reach. you often found yourself recalling the first time this had happened, when the two of you were sitting at the table in her quarters and she had been apologizing for the day she'd ordered you out of the meeting room. you could still remember how her touch had trailed from stroking at your wrist, crescent nail prints still occupying your skin, to cupping your face, drawing you close to kiss her again and again—the heat of her proximity, how her hands had felt and caressed every inch of your body, whispering a breathless, endless stream of praises into your ear as you came apart under her.

though you had vowed to yourself that wouldn't allow it to happen again, that that night would be your first and only instance of giving into that weakness she'd slowly but surely carved into you, but you found yourself sinking into her arms when she beckoned you, sewing the buttons of your shirt back into place without complaint after the nights where she had become impatient and accidentally popped them free, staring at your naked body in the mirror after your long showers and tracing your fingers over the bruises she'd sucked and bitten into your tender skin.

she only marked you in places where you could hide them beneath your clothes, places which assured that she would be the sole individual to see them when she stripped you bare, only to add more and more. there was no set time between those late evenings, sometimes the interval would be less than a few days, and other times it would stretch out for weeks with no indication as to when the next occasion would come. but when it did, any semblance of self-restraint had completely diminished.

"you're such a good pet for me.." she cooed, her words sending a warm spark through every inch of you.

she'd become fond of calling you that, and a part of you wondered if that was all she saw you as, as only a pet or a possession. you'd accepted that she had the upper hand in this relationship, whatever it may be, but you couldn't help enjoying the feeling of being desired so deeply, being touched and admired in ways you'd never even imagined before you met her. your arms clasped tighter around her neck as she pulled you away from the wall, laying you out on her bed, taking a moment to strip out of her shirt before lowering herself on top of you.

her hands busied themselves ridding you of your chest wrappings, lips attentively traversing each inch of newly revealed skin, murmuring curses and sweet nothings that only made you squirm more beneath her, impatient and eager. you mewled when she'd finally settled her hands over her bare breast, large palms pressing into soft flesh, slender fingers pinching at your nipples. she turned her head up to kiss you, tongue outlining the seam of your lips before sliding into your mouth, claiming it as her own.

you were left panting when she pulled away despite its briefness, hazy, low-lidded eyes finding her own, intoxicated by that carnal look, dark pupils nearly overtaking the piercing grey of her irises. she only smirked at your lack of composure, dipping her head back down to suck and bite at the valley of your breasts, your fingers reflexively tightening in her hair. your hips bucked up into nothing, desperate for any sort of friction, much to yelena's amusement.

"aren't you just the neediest little thing?" she paused to lave her tongue over a pert bud, drawing another heated sigh from you as you nodded, hoping that your agreement could persuade her to not spend so much time teasing you.

she granted you the slightest relief, taking your nipple between your lips and sucking at it, the hand not occupied with another breast trailing down the scar etched into your side, following the path down to your navel to begin unbuttoning your pants. each second seemed to drag on longer than the last, and though you knew that she wasn't purposely drawing out the process of undressing you, it was still not enough. you were practically kicking your underwear to the floor by the time they made their way around your ankles, skin still burning hot despite being fully exposed to the air.

"p-please, miss yelena.." you whimpered at the feeling of her hand tracing up and down your inner thigh, occasionally stopping to stroke across the raised lines of skin that had been inscribed into your skin by the series of belts and buckles on your gear harness, but never proceeding that final inch up to where you needed it.

she pulled away to let out a low chuckle, peering up at you through dark lashes, bare chest pressed flush against your stomach. she drank in the way your face shifted as she rested the pad of her thumb over your clit, rubbing languid circles over it as her pointer finger dipped down your cunt, instantly slick with your arousal.

"you're so worked up from just that?" she taunted, speaking at barely a murmur, "or was it because somebody was listening?"

you felt the knot of anticipation drawing tight in the pit of your stomach, watching as she took her fingers in her mouth and licked over them, thighs shuddering when she returned to their previous position. "i-it was— i j-just— please.."

you could barely form a coherent thought, back arching up to urge your body as close to hers as you could manage, only cognizant of just how close you were to being relieved of that unbearable pressure welling within you. she only smiled, close-lipped and cunning, resting her head over your heaving chest.

"your heart is racing. i wonder how much faster i could make it go.."

you nearly whined as two fingers slid into you with little resistance, her mouth closing over a nipple, alternating between gently tugging at it with her teeth and flicking over it with the tip of her tongue. your hips rocked up into her hand, matching the pace of her wrist as your head dug back into the mattress, moans and incoherent pleas spilling from your parted lips.

you could feel yourself quickly approaching that rapturous peak, hands fisting the sheets under you, white stars blotting out your vision as she curled her fingers just right. you shuddered, gasping, eyes rolling aimlessly into the back of your head as the tension that had wound itself into every muscle finally released, coming completely undone beneath her. you pressed a shaking hand over your mouth, muffling the sound of your winded breaths, letting out a small noise when she relieved you of her fingers. you felt her lips grazing over your chest, forcing your head up to look at her with bleary eyes when their feather-light touch proceeded lower and lower down your stomach.

you had expected things to come to an end as they usually did, with her pulling her clothes back on before you even had the chance to see straight and gathering your own garments from the floor to hand to you, leaving you to walk back to your dormitories on trembling legs in your wrinkled uniform. but there was no sign of that immediate withdrawal as she gathered your thighs in her hands, lifting your legs up onto her shoulders as she pressed a brief kiss over your naval.

you licked your lips nervously, already more than too sensitive at just the feeling of her breath over your soaked cunt. you opened your mouth to meekly object or ask for just a moment longer to catch your breath, but she shushed you, her heavy-lidded gaze sending a fresh bout of heat across your skin. each little quiver of your thighs only made her grip fasten, unable to keep still as she kissed at the scars and soft flesh, drawing a stifled whimper when she stopped to suck a deep mark at a spot of untarnished skin.

you could see the pale expanse of yelena's back, pristine and absent of any previous traumas, the complete opposite of your own. the first time you'd see her undressed, you couldn't take your eyes off of her slender frame, lined with muscle from her days as a soldier but still so delicate. you'd never left any marks when she'd allow you to kiss at her neck and chest, only enough to see the rosy flush settle over her body, but by that time she was more than eager to get back to playing with you instead.

you took in a deep, unsteady breath, jaw clenching and stomach tightening as her tongue drew flat up the length of your cunt, a small moan breaking from your parted lips. she pressed forward, flicking the tip of her tongue over your clit in a merciless rhythm, holding your thighs apart to accommodate her presence each time they attempted to squeeze shut. you writhed over the sheets, her name slipping from you between high-pitched whines and labored breaths, minutes melting past in an incomprehensible blur, leaving you only cognizant of her tongue and hands dragging you back over that edge again and again.

by the time she'd released you, you could barely hold your eyes open, thighs aching from her fingers digging into them, throat raw from crying out for her and gasping in what never seemed to be enough air, feeling too exhausted to even think about making the walk back to your own room. but rather than hand your clothes to you in a silent cue for your departure, you watched her make her way back up the mattress to lay beside you, pulling your heavy, sweat-slicked body against her own. you couldn't try to refuse the comfort of her warmth, face pressing into her chest, breathing in her soft, clean scent, still occasionally trembling as you tentatively allowed your hands to cling to her.

you told yourself not to get comfortable, to try to regain control of your limbs by the time her sympathy for overworking you had worn off and she ordered you away for the night, but the demand never came. you felt a large hand settle at the base of your neck, another splaying across the small of your back, her chin resting on the crown of your head, holding you close like a lover would.

"you could stay for the night if you'd like." her tone was even and collected as it always was, but hushed, like she was murmuring a secret to you.

you knew that sleeping her had already far overstepped whatever boundary had been abandoned that night she'd first kissed you, the morning where she'd marveled at your body and commended your courage, every instance you'd obeyed her rather than carry out the simple orders you were given. it was already too late to tear yourself away from this presence that you'd grown so familiar with—the one that you had feared, the one that you now craved despite how you knew you shouldn't.

"thank you, miss yelena." you whispered hoarsely, curling into her, allowing your heavy eyes to close.

that would be the first and last time you ever spent the night in her quarters.

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the banquet to celebrate the completion of the rail system in trost was minutes away from commencing. the speaking podium was empty for the moment, soldiers and civilians chattering amongst themselves as they waited for the military officials to gather at the stage. you were authorized to be in the private area as yelena's personal escort, seeing as she had participated in the mapping of the railroad through the district and would be acknowledged as a contributor to the advancement of paradis.

but as excited as you were to celebrate, eat good food and hopefully get a chance to drink, you weren't looking forward to transferring your position to floch forster for the remainder of the night. although, your desire to stay by yelena's side had been momentarily dissuaded by the desire to please her when she'd requested the change a few days prior. you hadn't bothered to hide your disappointment, nor did you hold back your questions.

"change to forster? but.. why?" you had asked, in the privacy of her quarters, feeling an immediate disheartening at her words.

she didn't directly respond, the hand that had been at your shoulder rising to pet at your cheek. "you trust me, don't you?"

"y-yes, but—"

"then file a request to change with him."

you couldn't explain why you had felt such a cool emptiness burrowing into your chest, a sudden spite for the other soldier beginning to fester in the back of your mind, the thought that she would choose him over you inspiring an indescribable irateness. you turned away from her hand, not thinking of how you were pouting like a child, unwilling to meet her eyes or compromise with her. you'd been fretting over how she hadn't spared you any sort of affection in the nearly two months that had passed, the fear that she'd grown tired of you an incessant whisper in your ear. but then she had reached for you, treated you gently, persuading with that hint of sincerity she rarely ever showed you.

"it would only be for the evening, i have business to attend to that night. i'm sure you've been looking forward to the celebration?" a frown tugged at your lips, only offering a small nod in reply, meeting her eyes when she guided you by your chin to face her. "then transfer with forster, have fun for the evening—you deserve it."

you couldn't help but preen under her praise, meeting her eyes, heart stuttering at the sight of her barely-there smile. you finally caved after a moment of thought, relenting to her wishes. "i'll put in a temporary transfer request tomorrow afternoon."

"thank you, dear."

despite how you weren't exactly looking forward to forster's arrival to relieve you from duty, those final words lifted your spirits just the slightest bit. perhaps she had simply been caught up in the stress of such a grand achievement, too busy attending meetings with engineers and generals and event staff to make any spare time for you for the past weeks. you had waited for weeks before, you could continue waiting if need be. you were at her beck and call, and as long as it pleased her, you were perfectly fine doing as such.

you let out a soft sigh at the sigh of floch forster approaching, weaving through the scattered crowd with a stoic, dutiful look plastered across his expression.

"good evening, floch." yelena said from beside you.

he replied with a polite good evening to both you and her, adding your name as more of an afterthought than anything, but turning his focus back to you when you still hadn't stepped away. "you can go, i'll take it from here."

your gaze flickered over to yelena, feeling yourself relax as she nodded to you, a hand resting at your shoulder to gently urge you forward. "i'll see you tomorrow morning. enjoy yourself tonight."

so you took your leave, watching the ceremony in the company of your fellow soldiers, eyes always wandering away from the speaker and to yelena at the side of the stage. the speech concluded, the crowd cheered and applauded, and everyone was directed to the banquet hall where the remainder of the event would be held. you watched yelena and floch walk off the stage with the other officials, becoming distracted for just a moment speaking to someone but having lost sight of them by the time you looked back.

you didn't see yelena for the remainder of the night, but you did as you were told, enjoying the good food, talking to your friends, avoiding any alcohol in preparation for your usual early morning. it was all over quite quickly, and the next morning came and went, business as usual for the remainder of the next few days—then came the news of eren jaeger's disappearance, then the plans of the all-hands-on-deck operation that was to be the retrieval effort for the young man, the entire scouting branch thrown into overdrive.

and, though you never mustered the courage to ask, you felt a sinking feeling deep inside, that yelena's nightly errand with floch and eren's absence were somehow connected, that there was much more going behind the scenes that you couldn't even begin to fathom.

just wanted to give u guys a little gift for my birthday (´･ᴗ･ ` )

[lovingonrepeat]

Forever is a Long Time // Mark Lee

Part seven of my Kinktober // NCT 2020 Project

DAY 7: Mark + overstimulation → “Say my name over and over again, and when you think you’ve said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who’s making you feel good.”

Word Count: 1.4k || Genre: smut

Warnings: femdom, overstimulation, facesitting, oral (f receiving), praise, crying, multiple orgasms

This work is completely fictional. Feedback is welcome. Hate will be blocked. Thank you!

(credit x)

Mark was addictive.

The way his eyes light up when he talks about things he's passionate about. The way he claps when he's happy and laughing. The way he can be awkward and not totally know what to say at times. The way he moves when he's dancing and rapping and in his element.

You never had a choice when it came to falling in love with Mark. As soon as you met him, you were hooked.

Your love for him only grew stronger once you finally entered into a relationship with him, and you were able to see all sorts of different sides to him that you loved equally as much. The way he looks after just waking up, with his hair messy and glasses on. The way he gets blushy when you kiss him in public. How focused he is when he plays you a new song he wrote on guitar. Each new thing you discover about his was just as mesmerizing as the next, and you never wanted to stop discovering.

The first time you had sex together was magical. You had never thought there was a way to fall in love with him more, but he loved to prove you wrong, and you found yourself enamored with the sight of him in this state even more. The way his jaw goes slack when you touch him. The sounds he lets out when you tease him for too long. The desperate look in his eye when he really wants to earn it. You couldn't be blamed for wanting to give him everything in those moments. It was just what he deserved.

You found yourself discovering a new side of yourself too, one that came out only with him. It was a cruel sort of sweetness. When you and Mark were together, you couldn't help but want to give him everything and nothing at the same time, to want to see how blissed out he got after being teased for hours on end, to be so so sweet to him after he finally earned your touch.

It's a maddening experience for Mark, but he couldn't ever ask for more. He loves the way you switch from being so kind to being so mean at a speed that makes his head spin. All he ever wants to do is please you and touch you and for it to never end.

But his mistake was telling you that.

He's withering under your touch, tongue buried in your folds as you grip his dick in your hand. The game is simple; he gets granted his orgasm once he's successfully gotten you off. It's rules that he's used to following, but that doesn't make it any easier for him to focus on you pleasure when you're touching him like that. You have one hand wrapped around him, stroking him firmly while the other hand ghosts along his stomach. The muscles flutter under your fingertips, and you love the sight as he arches into your movements.

You can't help but moan out at the way Mark is moving against you, sucking your clit into his mouth and flicking his tongue against your most sensitive areas. His moans join yours as you jerk him off, and the added vibrations of his noises just serves to heighten your experience.

It doesn't take long for you to cum at all, not with the way he's groaning against your core and the way he's sucking on your bundle of nerves and the way his dick is twitching in your hand. He helps you ride through it, more concerned about extending your pleasure than even coming up for air.

You move away from his mouth and he gasps softly, allowing his lungs to fill as he looks at you adoringly. His face is shiny with your release, and he looks up at you with glowy, desperate eyes.

"You're so good to me, Mark," you praise, leaning down to place kisses all along his thighs as you continue jerking him off, and with the way he's squirming under you, you know it won't be long at all before he cums, too.

"Thank you," he breathes out, the words coming out fast and breathy. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

"Of course," you reply. "Nothing makes me happier than making you feel good."

He smiles, but it only stays on his face for a moment before it morphs into a moan as you twist your wrist around him. His eyes flutter shut at the action, and he reaches out until he finds your free hand to hold.

"Oh my God," he groans. "Gonna cum soon, gonna cum soon."

"Yeah?" You ask, and you love the way he nods, eyes squeezed shut as his head jerks up and down hard.

"You're so pretty when you cum," you inform him.

His eyes blink open at that, as if he can hear the mischief and far off quality to your voice as you speak.

"I am?" He questions between deep breaths, and you smile down at him.

"You are. I'm so glad I'm the only person who gets to see you like that. It makes me wanna touch you forever."

He gulps, and you know he's figured you out.

"Forever?" He asks, gasping as you double the speed of your hand against him without warning. When he speaks again, his words and slurred and high pitched, coming out fast and muffled by a whine.

"That's a long time."

"I know."

It's your words, a cruel threat masked by sugary sweetness, that sets him off. He cums with a cry, jerking up into your hand as ribbons of white land all over his stomach and your hand, and your pace slows down as you help ease him through it.

But his fears come true when you don't stop.

He writhes under you, squeezing your hand hard between his fingers as he struggles to catch a breath. His moans are broken, high pitched whimpers as he stares at you with big eyes.

"Oh my God, oh my God," he cries, and he doesn't know if he wants to move into or away from your touch. All he knows is how overwhelming it is.

"My good boy," you say softly. "I wanna make you feel good. Over and over again. Can you take it?"

"Yes," he sobs out, tears falling from his eyes as the feeling reaches new heights. "It's just so much."

"I know, baby," you coo, showering him with praise and encouragements as you use his own cum to help work him up to another orgasm, and you're addicted to the way he shakes and gasps through the pleasure. He's way beyond the point of coherent thought, and all he can do is moan your name as he barrels towards the edge again.

You lean forward, placing a kiss on his lips and then onto his forehead, and you pull your hand away from his so it can come up to caress his cheek. Your voice is soft as you whisper to him.

"I want you to do something for me. Can you do that?"

"Yes."

“Say my name over and over again, and when you think you’ve said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who’s making you feel good.”

He doesn't disappoint, crying your name over and over like a prayer as he threatens to cum again. He didn't know it was possible to feel this much pleasure, to be so all consumed for by the feeling that he can't even think of anything else but your name, but he should've known better.

When he cums again, he does exactly as you ask, screaming your name so loud that he can't help but think that his friends back in Canada must've heard him. And when he falls asleep in your arms once you finish cleaning him up, he's not sure if he's ever slept that hard.

You stay up though, staring at his beautiful, peaceful face as you think about how lucky you got. It couldn't be helped that you would wanna play with him like that. When he looks this gorgeous, you really can't help but think about teasing him forever, sleeping next to him forever, just being with him forever.

And he's right. Forever is a long time, but as you fall asleep, you can't help but think that forever would be incredible with Mark Lee by your side.

Tagging @mingishoe ​ @armysantiny ​ @domreaderrecs @chickenkatxu ​@lucas-wongs @drippinlovetalk @brooklynalpha @wildernessuntothemselves @loviejaehyun @skzctnightnight @capriccio-con-espressione @euphoricsunflowers @nct-writers @kpopscape as requested! Let me know if you want to be added to the tag list for future fics!

Read all of my fics HERE!

[tardytothepardy]

Fruits Basket - Vol 23

It's the final banquet babyyyy

(i hate how blurry that picture is but my camera just wouldn't fucking focus)(also yeah i colored in the speech bubbles, they were kinda confusing without context and didn't have anything to do with this specific frame)

So everyone's gathered in the main Sohma house, and no one really knows what's going on. They have no idea what to expect. Hiro notes that the grown-ups are "the ones who can't sit still today". Some miscellaneous stuff happens but I'm not sure if it's worth talking about? After the miscellaneous stuff, it is announced that Akito is ready for everyone to see, and out she steps in a kimono (I bet it's red; she'd look great in red, I think) and asks where Shigure is, because he apparently dipped out. Ritsu is in complete awe, does Akito partake in the same hobby he does? No, Ritsu, this is who she is.

There's a brief flashback to the previous book, where Shigure gave her something, and said "I guess you could call it a farewell present." Akito did not take kindly to that at all, and lashed out, accusing him of being the first to abandon her. He asks where she got that idea, he meant that she's finally becoming her own person, rather than the person her father wanted her to be, and his gift was something to commemorate that. Welcome in the new Akito, and all that.

Back to the present, Akito explains that the rest of the Juunishi were able to become their true selves, beyond the curse, and so she decided to as well. She tries to apologize, but she can't-- she knows that won't make up for anything that she did, at all.

It goes back to that memory with Shigure (this chapter is just a series of flashbacks and flashpresents) and he teases her, saying that he didn't know he was so important to her, and Akito insists that wasn't the case, that he was the one that she was most afraid of, the one that strayed the furtherest from her, bond or not. He says he had to keep his cool, be nonchalant, because otherwise he'd explode (ka-blooey). He says that he's childish, and doesn't like getting hurt, he hates losing, and he can't stand sharing things. This causes Akito to basically go Ó///Ò in realization, and he confirms that realization (the realization being that he likes her as well, in case you didn't catch it. It kinda took me a second on first reading, and I'm not exactly explaining this the best), and says that if Akito wants to reject him, now's the time, that if she comes to him again, it'll become a Thing. They'll become a Thing.

Back to the meeting, Akito says that she still wants to live with the Sohma family, because there are still things she feels she needs to do. She still is, at the end of the day, the head of the family, it's her duty (probably). She plans on talking to Ren, which I imagine will go well. After the meeting (I think, I don't think it's before, though timey wimey stuff is difficult), Akito is with Shigure, and he's asking if she wants him to stay at the main Sohma house, and she asks if he's angry about it. The vibe I get from him is "yesn't", honestly, but hey if they're happy, I guess it's fine.

Next chapter!

So there are two exposition characters (I'm sorry but that's really all they are) at school, and one of them sees Kyo. She gets excited, maybe she can go talk to him, and the other thinks he's waiting for Tohru, his girlfriend, to finish up with her tests. The first girl goes, "Whaaa?? When did that happen??", and the second says that it happened shortly after Tohru came back from the hospital. The first girl's hopes and dreams are apparently destroyed, I guess she liked Kyo.

It pans back to Tohru, now finished with her test, and the teacher, Mayu, wishing her a good summer vacation, it'll be her last. She also asks if something happened in the Sohma family, because a certain He seemed a little happier when she saw him yesterday. Tohru took "he" to mean Kyo and Yuki, and was basically like "yeah I guess so". Mayu played it off, yeah yeah those two that's definitely who she meant yeah totally see you next school term byeeee.

At the house (Shigure's house), Kyo, Yuki, and Tohru are talking about the meeting, and how it felt like it came out of nowhere. They were surprised that Tohru already knew about Akito, but she had to pretend she didn't for Akito's privacy (you don't just out people, that's rude). She asks if it was that much of a shock, and Yuki says he's mostly dumbfounded, though there has been a lot going on lately, a lot to think about. Kyo says he feels weird about it, simply because now he knows he's been violent with a woman all this time, but also says something about if Akito was a man, Kyo would be in trouble if there was another guy who liked Tohru. I'm not really sure where he got that idea, but Yuki thought it was pretty funny. It made Tohru realize that the air between Kyo and Yuki had cooled off significantly, and they seemed to be more at ease with each other than they ever had before (i mean in the beginning yuki would sneeze and kyo would be like "and i took that personally", so yeah they've changed a lot). She asked Kyo what had caused that change, and he told her that Yuki beat the crap out of him, and knocked some screws loose, but it was okay. They needed to be loosened.

Later, it seems that Kyo and Tohru went to Kazuma's house, where Kazuma said "I have no regrets. At this point, I'm prepared for death at any time.", because he's happy, y'know? But Tohru and (that other guy whose name completely escapes me wtf) protest at that, saying that you can't say things like that, it's not true! The other whispers to Kazuma that he can't die yet, because when they get married and have kids, he'll be a grandparent, which he seems to like the idea of. He tells Tohru that he eagerly awaits that time, but since Tohru didn't overhear it, she just awkwardly agrees that she also can't wait. (Kyo kinda caught on though)

Izusu comes in, says, "This is stupid, by the way", then walks out before anyone can respond. Tohru follows after her, and Kyo asks what Izusu was saying. Kazuma says that a lot has happened recently, and not everyone is going through the same thing.

Going with Tohru, she finds Izusu in another room, saying that she doesn't get it, how can he (Kyo, presumably) act like nothing's wrong, after all that's happened, and how Tohru can do the same, after she got so hurt?! Those kinds of hurt don't go away easily. Izusu continues, and says that if she had to choose to forgive Akito or not, she wouldn't, because she can't. She doesn't want Akito to apologize, and she can't help but feel like she's doing something wrong, because she can't make herself accept everything and move on. Tohru reassures her that there's nothing wrong with her, she didn't do anything wrong. Izusu wonders if her demeanor will turn Haru away, if it will disappoint him. Tohru says that there's no way that Haru could hate her.

The scene changes to Akito, who is talking to that one old lady who pops up every now and then, but I've never seen her name, who says that Akito went to see Ren again, but heard that she wasn't able to really talk to her. She says it would be faster to chase her out of the house, but it's also possible that Akito complicated things by staying at the house. She continues, saying how it must be nice being young, and being able to change your life so easily. She notes that she was born with the Sohma family, and raised with them, and has lived at the house for sixty years, she couldn't change her life now. Akito says that no one can change every thing, and no one would be asking her to. Maybe all she needs is a helping hand. In the end, the maid simply walks away, but y'know, not everyone wants to change, or feels like they can, it's fine.

In the next chapter, it seems like it's the date with Tohru and Kyo that Uotani and Hanajima decided to tag along with. Kyo is thinking back to that moment when he tore off his bracelet, and how afterward, Tohru picked up all the beads. She put them in a little bowl in her room, next to the picture of her mom. In the moment, he could only watch as she did it, and in all honesty he wouldn't have minded if she had tossed them into a fire, but it also occurred to him that he might regret not having them. As he watched Tohru pick up the beads, he thought of it like she was "protecting both the me of now and the me of the future". Alternatively, and this one is a bit spoopy, she was gathering the memories of the people over the (many, many, many) years that had worn that bracelet. Either way, he realized that loving someone isn't just about loving the person as they currently are, but as they were, and as they will be.

That's what he thinks anyway.

I mentioned the date but I didn't talk about it at all. They went to a zoo, Uotani got excited about seeing elephants, and they went to a place with cats, and the cats did not care either way about Kyo. It was neat. By the end of the day, Tohru went off to use the bathroom, leaving Kyo with Hanajima and Uotani. This is when Hanajima asks Kyo if he's going to take Tohru away with him. She knew the time would come, eventually, when she, Uotani, and Tohru, would part ways, but it still hurts to think about. Uotani says that, despite how they might act, they do like Kyo, even if they think he's a bit of a dumbass (Uotani's words, btw), and it's because they both think he's a good guy. He just has to take care of Tohru, because she's like family to them, so he'd best not fuck up.

When Tohru comes back, Kyo says there's a place that he wants to take Tohru before going home. Can we go see what Yuki's up to first? Okay yeah we're going to do that now, we'll get back to Tohru and Kyo, don't worry.

So Yuki's at Kakeru's place, and it seems that they're talking about their college plans. Apparently Yuki's going to a college pretty far away from where they're currently at, but if they have subjects that he's interested in, it's fine. (I don't think it's ever said what exactly those subjects are. Like, what's his major? Do I really care? Eh. But it's still nice to know. Same thing for Kakeru, what is he doing?) When Yuki says he'll be living on his own, Kakeru asks if he can manage, he doesn't want to go for a visit and see an emaciated Yuki (living on like,, partially-cooked instant ramen noodles, and several scattered half-empty water bottles in a nest of laundry and schoolwork). Yuki is more optimistic, saying he's going to learn by doing (so that means those cups of instant ramen will be completely cooked). Apparently he told Machi about it and she's fine with it, though she would not be fine if she heard Kakeru saying that anyone is "climbing the stairway to adulthood" which honestly I wouldn't be fine with that either, that just sounds stupid.

Komaki asks how Yuki's going to get the money to live somewhere, and Yuki says that he considered asking his parents, but in the end he asked Ayame to help. Ayame was overjoyed to help, and went nuts to find a place that would suit Yuki's needs (Or be the foundation of his "empire", as he phrased it).

When asked about college, Kakeru said he'd go, not because he really wants to, but mostly because people keep telling him to. He was planning on taking over Komaki's family business (they run a laundry service), but he supposes he'll go anyway.

Later, Machi shows up with a package of meat, which Komaki was very excited about. Kakeru trotted out his "stairway to adulthood" line on Machi, and Machi punched him in the face along with the meat, she somehow balanced the meat on her fist to smash into Kakeru's face, much to Komaki's distress (over the meat, not Kakeru).

Anyway, let's go back to Tohru and Kyo.

Kyo took Tohru to the graveyard, and they're standing at the Honda's family tombstone(memorial? thingie? idk), and he says that after he graduates, he wants to leave, because he's spent his whole life up until pretty recently avoiding life, and not letting himself get involved in things. But now that he's a normal person, he wants to live in the world as a normal person, with Tohru, and because of all of this, he wants to go outside of this place that he's been his whole life. Tohru asks where he's planning to go, and he says that Kazuma knows someone with a dojo, but it's really far from where they presently live. He says he's planning on going there first, attending the dojo while he works, and then one day, he'll inherit Kazuma's dojo, using the experience from the first dojo. He hesitates on asking Tohru to break away from everything and everyone she's known to go off with him, but Tohru agrees, and says she wants to go with him, as soon as possible.

There is one thing that Tohru wants to tell Kyo, and it's that she's sure that her mom never hated him. Even if she did say that she would never forgive him, Tohru is confident that she didn't say it out of hate, she knows it. She will go along with Kyo, even if it hurts to leave everyone else, because it would hurt her more to be apart from him (🥺). To end this section, Kyo says that he'll keep the promise he made to Kyoko about Tohru, all that while back, and he'll keep it for his whole life.

(don't mind me i'm just screeching and wheezing simultaneously this shit is too much i'm gonna die)

Onto the next section, it actually has to do with Kyoko and Katsuya. Mostly Kyoko, and her last thoughts before she died. At first, it was weird. What's going on? She can't hear anything, she doesn't even really hurt. Why is it so dark? Oh crap, Tohru! She can't leave yet, she doesn't want to leave Tohru alone, she only just got into high school. She hopes that she loved her enough, and that Tohru knew that, though she wished she could have had more time to love Tohru. She finally understands, though, that leaving people behind and being left behind, they're both so hard. She hopes that someone can be there for Tohru, to protect her, stay with her as she cries.

She then sees Kyo, and recognizes him as the little orange-haired kiddo she used to talk to sometimes, and hopes that even if he forgets about her, that the next time Tohru gets lost, Kyoko wants him to find her, even just once. If he doesn't do that, she'll never forgive him(that's what she meant, out of what he heard, by the way). She hopes that he can somehow take her place, and protect Tohru, and let her be happy, let her be loved by lots of people. Even if she gets lost or makes a mistake, Kyoko wants Tohru to be proud of the life she lived.

Then she wakes up in a place. I don't really know what the place looks like, but I imagine it as a light blue shimmery place, and she can see someone walking towards her, from a distance. Katsuya. Suddenly she's young again, with her long hair and uniform, and she can be with the man she loves again. (🥺😭 dissolves in my tears)

There's a time skip, now Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, Hanajima, and Uotani have graduated, and it soon after shows Tohru and Kyo cleaning up their rooms, and reminiscing about when Tohru first arrived. A lot has changed in that time, it's incredible. Tohru thinks on how she will miss everyone, and all the things that have happened (in the span of a year, right? This all mostly happened within a year or two?). Kyo then says that everyone loves and appreciates her, and it's not like she'll never see any of them again, it's just the start of something new. Then Tohru's stomach grumbles and she gets embarrassed (oh no im hungry how embarrassing 😖)

We then jump to Yuki and Machi, and Yuki gives Machi a key to his new place, because he doesn't want her to think that he's cheating on her (why would she think that???) and then nearly fuckin yeets it out the window when she says that she's not worried that he'd do that. (So he does want her to have trust issues? Yuki, dude, you're confusing me on this) I think that Machi is a year behind Yuki, so she won't be starting college the same time as he will, but she promises that she'll follow after him and be back with him as soon as she can, which is very sweet.

This whole section is mostly jumping from one group of people to the next, so I think I'll try to summarize:

Ritsu and Kagura are talking, it seems that Ritsu is giving Kagura his old kimonos. He's cut his hair shorter, and he mentions how Shigure apparently has quit being an author, much to the relief of his editor, Mitsuru. Kagura asks if Ritsu is going to marry Mitsuru, which leaves him very flustered. Kagura still is hung up on Kyo, and says that she'll see Kyo and Tohru go just to see Kyo. She won't well wish them, because she knows that they'll be happy regardless.

Hiro and Kisa are walking past Shigure's old house, speculating on what is going to happen to it. Hiro says he thinks it will stay as it is for a while, which makes Kisa happy. She hopes that it can stay up and that a new household can live in it. She then starts crying, thinking about Kyo and Tohru leaving, but she says that she will smile when she sees them go, on the next day. Hiro tells her to not be upset over crying, that she can cry as much as she wants, because he knows how much Tohru means to Kisa.

Haru, Izusu, and Momiji are talking, and Haru mentions how Hatori said that eventually, Shigure's gonna get punched in the face, but he never did. Momiji says that it didn't happen because they are all more mature than Shigure. He says as an aside that he doesn't think it should be allowed that Kyo is "taking away" Tohru, because he's being selfish, and that he wants to pinch Kyo. Haru asks why he shouldn't do it tomorrow, and Momiji says that he can't do it in front of Tohru, but this whole thing has given Momiji a new sense of motivation, to find the best girlfriend in the world, and then he'll show her off to Kyo (not the best motivation to find a partner but okay). Izusu pops up by saying that she thinks Tohru should break up with Kyo. I'm not sure why though.

It's shown that Hanajima is working at Kazuma's place as a cook, which is something that Kyo was not pleased to find out, but despite his best efforts, The Guy Who is Also There at the Dojo Whose Name I Cannot Remember can't figure out how to get her to leave. Kazuma says that he will miss Kyo, but he won't worry about him. He's in good hands now.

Uotani is on the phone with Kureno, saying that she'll send his regards to Tohru and Kyo. She also says that she will miss Tohru, but she's also excited for her, for the both of them. She asks if the cherry blossoms are blooming yet, and that she'll have to make her way out to see them (and Kureno) soon.

Ayame and Mine are sending well wishes gifts in the form of big flouncy dresses, for Tohru (who I imagine would be flattered but I doubt she would wear them). Mine says that now that the time has come, she finds this sensation of "children leaving the nest" to be lonely, and Ayame agrees, and says that's exactly why adults put obnoxious amounts of love into cardboard boxes with instant ramen, socks, maid outfits, what have you. (They then say that they're going to send similarly flouncy dresses to Yuki, who I doubt will respond kindly)

Mayu and Hatori are on a date, and he offers to take her with him on a summer vacation to Okinawa. He says he's never been on a "decent" vacation, and that he wants to see the country. Mayu starts cracking up at the idea of Hatori in a swimsuit, then sobers quickly at the idea of herself in one, saying that her figure isn't ideal for a swimsuit (from the way she talked about herself I think she'd be all the rage in early 2000's Western fashion).

Akito says that she's not going to see Tohru and Kyo leave, saying that if she wants to visit Tohru, she'll go and see her, but I imagine it's also for the sake of everyone else that would be there.

Finally, we end with Yuki going to talk to Tohru. He tells her that he's happy about all that has happened, and that he's glad that he has gotten to this point. He says that he was weak, that he couldn't handle being around people, but he wanted to be loved, and be needed. All he ever did, he says, is want. But during that crucial time, Tohru appeared, and fulfilled that wish without even trying. He learned so much from her, and she gave him what he needed, and that's how he is able to be the person he presently is. And he also finally says that she was basically his mother, in a way. He wonders if she was like that to everyone, with how warm, welcome, and gentle she is to everyone she meets. He goes on to say that in this time, when everyone is parting ways, everyone is thinking of Tohru, wondering if she's happy, if she's crying, if she's doing well. Finally, he thanks her, and says that he's so glad that he got to meet her, and that she was there for him, and for all of them. (He also actually says her name, which he's never done, I don't think. It's always been "Honda-san", but never "Tohru", but now he's said it. There's really not an English version of that, as far as I'm aware, but from what I know, it is a pretty significant thing.)

There's a little bit of an epilogue, showing a child walking into a house, asking where Tohru and Kyo are. A woman replies saying, "That's Grandma and Grandpa to you!", but the child pouts and says that Grandma said she could call her by her name, and that they left her behind again on their walk. The woman tells her to not get in the way of their "lovey-dovey alone time", and there's a final establishing shot of Tohru and Kyo walking together, holding hands, with Kyoko's words: "Repeat the good, and the bad. Do it all, and pile on the years."

And that's the end!

I think I'm heartless, because I didn't cry at the end. I wanted to, but I didn't. Overall, I really liked this series! It was a lot of fun to read, a lot of shit goes down, it was a rollercoaster. Thinking back on how the story started, knowing some of the events that occurred before the story started, it all kinda leaves a bitter taste in my mouth (mainly the teasing that Kyo gets about him "training in the mountains", and knowing what was actually going on, it's kinda hard to laugh now 😬). One thing that I was kinda expecting the story to mention, but never did, was Izusu's mark on her back. It looks like some kinda of scar, but I never saw anything addressing it. Now that I think about it, it could have been from a number of things, but it was never said explicitly, which I think is weird. I think I'm gonna leave it here (I'm typing this last portion on my phone at 3:45am so it could be better).

[voxmortuus]

Swooning Over Dixie Dwyer

Dixie Dwyer x F!Reader

The Cotton Club Fan Fic

TW: PURE SMUT... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Forgive my writing. It’s been a while.

Gif by @tiedyedragons

Every Friday night it had become a routine for me to get all gussied up and spend the night at The Cotton Club, it started one Friday night two months ago when this bugle player had joined the band. The ever-famous Dixie Dwyer. That black hair, that charming grin, the music, the way his hands moved, how he carried himself. It was everything when it came to Dixie. He had this suave manner about him that the girls pined over. Of course, Dixie being Dixie would make them swoon with a smile and a chuckle, and a light-hearted compliment. Tonight was different, there was something special about tonight and I felt it in my gut, maybe not special but different, perhaps it was that full moon craze that stuck.

Tonight I decided to go all out, threw on my favorite black sequined flapper dress with a pin-in cap with black florals and feathers, pinned curled my hair, and applied the right amount of makeup. I was bound and determined tonight to catch the attention of Dixie Dwyer. Slipping on my heels I head out with my fur coat wrapped around my body as I head down the sidewalk, the perks of living on the same street as the club. Marching in I looked around making my way up the stairs and smiled taking in the smells and listening to the sounds of the music and people around me. I got some stares my way, a few smiles, a few nods, a few comments, and offered a drink. Taking the drink giving my thanks I went right to my spot, the corner booth, watching the stage, waiting.

Lighting a cigarette I watch, paying very close attention, and waiting patiently. A smirk crosses my lips hearing his voice. I know that voice anywhere, my mind works. 'How am I going to do this?' I ask myself. Well, it was simple. Though what I lacked in realizing was that he had already played, and I missed it! If I hadn't been nervously thinking of how I'm going to subtly get his attention. I got lost in my own thoughts, my own silly daydreams that I missed the show, and now I feel foolish, more so than before. "Wing it." I said to myself. I threw a wave, and he noticed. I flushed. My face hot, my cheeks pink, and he made his way over. "Hello." He smirked. "You look different tonight." He started sliding into the booth and hailed the waitress asking for a round of drinks. I smile looking over his face. "You noticed me?" I asked him. "Of course Kitten, I've noticed for two months." He smirked.

He's noticed me for two months and never came to talk to me until now?! My eyes blink a few times and I chuckle. "Two months Dixie and you've never come to me?" I tilt my head, he gives a boyish grin and a slight chuckle and nodded. "I know. Call it nerves." You shake your head. "You Dixie Dwyer are no man of nerves." You stated. Leaning back he lights himself a cigarette and shakes his head licking his lip a moment he watched the club how the people moved and danced and looked back at me a moment. "Come with me." He stated. Curious I nod and take his hand that he offered me and he pulls me behind some thick lush curtains and pulls me close, and I melt, right there.

"What are you doing Dixie?" I asked him. With no words, he leans in and kisses my lips, like it was second nature to him. Pressing my hands against his chest I feel his hands moving over my back. "Let's go somewhere." Nodding my head I follow him, with no hesitation. Sneaking out the back he hollered to someone to grab the stuff from the booth and to set it in the back that he would get it later, that included my belongings, but right now that didn't matter to me, what mattered was right now.

He holds my hand, feeling the warmth of his hand he takes me to his apartment, tells me to be quiet as he closes a set of double doors with frosted glass and pulls me close again, and kisses me, a deep longing kiss. His tongue dances with mine as he unzips my dress. His hands moving up my arms to slide my straps down, exposing my undergarments. Not questioning I unbutton his shirt and slid it off of him and move him to sit on the couch as he fell onto the couch I climb on top of him, my hands move to play with his hairline. He starts talking, almost like he's known me all his life, letting him talk, and vent about these random trivial things I hang on to what he has to say. How his brother was doing bad things, and how he just wanted to live his life, to be happy, to have a family. I clung to those.

Looking over his face I smile and kiss him softly. "Let me help you." I tell him as I slide off his lap and fall between his knees undoing his pants I pull them from his body, placing them on the floor, looking up at him I smile, placing his cock in my hand I being to stroke him, placing the soft flesh in my mouth, his eyes close and I feel him growing in my mouth, and a mental smile forms as I begin to bob and work with my hands and tongue around the base and along the length. His head falls against the back of the couch and a low groan escapes his lips. I move my head faster feeling myself grow wet with want and need hearing his sounds of satisfaction.

When I felt ready I stood up and slid off my panties and garter slipping off my heels and stockings, and climbed on top of Dixie and slid him in with ease, a moan escapes my lips, and feeling him stretch me with no force. His hands move to my hips as I rest mine on his chest. Leaning forward he rests his head against my chest as he wraps his strong arms around me and moves me the way he wants me to move, gripping around him I do as I'm indirectly asked. Sliding up and down on him I rest my head against his and my hands find their way into his hair my nails gliding over his skin as he stands up to lay me down on the couch, his thrust deeper than before and I let out a deeper moan, gripping into him with my nails, and gripping onto him as he begins to thrust faster and my moans pick up slightly feeling his body against mine, the pressure, the control, feeling each inch of him, I committed it to memory.

Feeling Dixie take pure control I couldn't help but feel like I belonged to him, like this was supposed to happen, like this needed to happen. I wanted to be his and only his, I wanted him to have me. This emotion grew inside me as I wrapped my legs around him and screamed with all my emotion and released, but he didn't stop, he wasn't done. The sensation was so overwhelming my nails started to dig into him, the way our lips crashed together, his hands in my hair, his hands pinning mine above my head, the way he thrust harder and harder into me, I swear my hips were going to bruise by the end of the night. He looked me over and moved me in a way where I felt him hit my wall, and I broke again. He covered my mouth as he looked over my face. "In, or on?" He asked me, Staring at him I pulled him closer with my legs that were wrapped around him and he buried his face in my neck and let out a heavy groan as I felt him fill me and shake and I screamed into his hand as I finished again with him.

His body fell against mine and his hand stayed on my mouth until my breathing slowed. Feeling him pull from me he moved me to lay on my side with him on the couch and I felt his fluids dripping down my leg, my eyes closed as I rest my head against his and kissed him softly. "You should have spoken up sooner," I whispered. "I wanted to see if waiting was the right choice. It was." He whispered back. "Make me happy." He stated. Looking deep into his eyes, I nod. "Okay, Dixie." I whisper kissing him softly. I knew what this meant, I was now Dixie's girl, and you know what? I don't question or regret a damn thing. What was the future going to hold for us?

———————————————————————————————————–

If you want to be tagged let me know. This is the first of many stories! I am also taking requests!

@luciferslittleastre

[the-witty-pen-name]

Hi!! How are you doing? I hope you're fine and healthy!

I was thinking about it lately, can you write one where the reader is a mandalorian too, please? I'm sorry for the vague ask, I just can't get din falling in love with a mandalorian reader out of my mind. 🥺

Hi!! I’m good, thank you so much for asking! I hope you’re doing well too!! I love this request- I love this idea because I think the idea of Din falling in love with the reader without seeing each other is such a sweet sentiment! I hope I do your idea justice! 

I Can Feel You

Din Djarin x Reader 

Word Count: 1k 

Warnings: none; fluff 

Mando’a Translations:

Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum = I love you

Mesh’la = beautiful

A/N: I hope you all enjoy this! It was so fun to write. I have started a tag list if anyone is interested and my requests are open!

Pitch black darkness of night is not something one usually enjoys. However, for Din it’s his absolute favorite time. He lives out his days anticipating when the night falls and the world is encompassed entirely by darkness. At night, he can shed his armor, and free his face from his Mandolorian helmet and pull you into his arms. He lives for the nights when you both wait up and you sneak to join him in his bunk, careful to not be caught by anyone else in the tribe. When you’d get to his room and in the safety of night remove your helmet, you’d hear him shift in his bunk to make space for you. You slide in to his bunk next to him and he pulls you closely into his chest.

Some nights, it’s quiet and all you both do is just bask in the closeness and the feeling of skin. You’d both try to guess what the other look like, your fingertips trace his face and try to just imagine his features. You can feel his eyes looking at you, but in your imagination, you picture beautiful and expressive brown eyes staring into your own. You smile against his lips when your face is tickled by the facial hair on his upper lip, something you know to expect but it still surprises you in the darkness.

Something beautiful you too share is the mutual unwavering love you found without even seeing each other. Din loves you, and you him. There’s a comfort in the knowing the fact he loves you for who you are. The man has never laid eyes on you, but yet he bears his mind and soul to you alone in the dark. Every thought, every worry, every insecurity, he shares with you and you with him. You understand each other very well.

One of his arms pulls you in close, your noses pressing up against each other. His free hand finds your cheek and his thumb carefully caresses your jaw, admiring the feeling of your skin. You let out a deep breath, the hard work and strain of the day just evaporating into the air. For those hours, you two are the only people on the planet. His lips brush gingerly against yours and your mind is at ease.

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum,” you mumble softly, against his lips and you feel his unsteady breath rumble in his chest.

“I love you, mesh’la,” he whispers back, his voice deep and sincere.

“You call me that, but you don’t know that to be true,” you tease, resting your hands on his firm chest.

“It’s the only thing I know to be true,” he hums, his hands rubbing your back and he nestles his head into the crook of your neck. Your hand runs through his hair, combing through the wavy curls. You love the feeling. “I don’t need to see you to recognize your beauty,” he mumbles, pressing soft kisses to your neck and jaw.

“I can feel you,” he says, and you can feel his lips curl into a smile against your skin. “And I know your mind,” he adds, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

In the mornings, you’ve already slipped away and the feeling of a cold bed greets him in the mornings. He hates the mornings because you aren’t there. The daylight cuts between the two of you sharply as you both proceed like the bond between you does not exist. He places his helmet on again to conceal him from the world and faces the days to just get through them so it will be nightfall again.

He sees you in the distance, knowing you from the blue and orange that decorates your beskar. Like him, your different in the daytime. He knows the real you, as you know him, and he takes immense comfort in that feeling. Your helmet moves and he knows you’re looking at him, and you’ve caught him staring. He can’t help but imagine your expression, and he longs to know how you’re looking at him. Amusement maybe, or maybe you’re returning the longing expression he knows he’s using to look at you. He matches your stance and tilts his helmet as well and you shake your head, turning your attention back to the task you were working on.

He let’s himself surrender to a daydream. He let’s his mind wander to thoughts of his future, with you at the center of it. He imagines a perfect world where he can just see you, he can wake up in the morning and be blessed with a view of you next to him instead of being met with the coldness of you not being there. He imagines marrying you, and being able to see you- the only one to be privileged with the knowledge of what you look like. He longs to meet eyes when you both exchange the expressions of love you currently share in the darkness.

“You are going to get yourself in trouble,” you say, surprising him and shaking him out of his thoughts. He chuckles, his laugh distorted slightly by the modulator of his helmet much like your own voice.

“You’re worth it,” he retorts, when he realizes no one else is around to hear him. You feel heat rise around your cheeks at his words.

“What does you slacking off have to do with me?” you ask, your helmet tilting the same way it did before.

“I was thinking about you,” he confesses nonchalantly catching you off guard. For once you’re relieved that he can’t see your reaction, as your mouth falls open slightly.

“Oh really?” You ask shyly, making him laugh again.

“I am always thinking about you,” he continues and you smile ear to ear.

“Tell all about it later?” You say flirtatiously, it becoming your turn to fluster the Mandolorian in front of you. You smirk, somehow able to tell he’s taken aback despite the helmet.

“Tonight,” he says, before someone else comes into his view and is walking in the direction of you too. The conversation feels incomplete but is forced to end there for now. You both head your separate ways again and Din continues to impatiently wait for the darkness of night to greet the two of you again.

Taglist:

@blackirisposts

[love101imagines]

Hope is a dangerous thing

(kerem & eda | imagine)

request: Heyy, could you please do a kerem+eda prompts 12 and 19 ? I was thinking about Eda considering an abortion and Kerem being mad that she didn't told him she's carrying his child. Jeez you're an amazing writer trully!! Love this fandom

tag list: @thestorieswecantevertell @sinanfails @wwafangirld @girl-looking-out-window @imtoolazytothinkofacoolname @zaynlikfalls

prompts used: 12. It’s just a cigarette and it’s freezing. 19. I...I can’t do this without you.

trigger warning: talk for teen pregnancy, morning sickness and abortion.

He wasn't sure how he hadn't noticed earlier.

It started with subtle things, but knowing Eda, they weren't subtle at all. The first one was when she would start binge eating when they went out with the rest or when she would look sickly pale.

“What’s wrong? You don’t look that well, did something happen?” Işik would ask, already pressing the back of her hand to her forehead.

Eda would roll her eyes and shrug it off. “I’m fine. It’s just the stomach flu, I’ve been throwing up all day.”

It wasn't unknown to Kerem that the girl had some kind of issue with food. She had gotten better with time, from not eating at all and only drinking beer to eating a bit more with the rest.

That was the second clue too. The beer.

She was always seen with a beer on her hand, her liver probably ruined for all the alcohol she consumed daily. But the last whole month whenever she was close to a can of beer, she would scrunch her nose and say she was too tired to drink, giving her drink to Osman who would gladly take it.

Kerem didn't think much of it, and neither did Eda. Until that day she was sitting on a bench in the park waiting for Kerem. Close to her were a group of teenagers, probably two years older than her, but she couldn't help but cover her mouth as an urge to throw up came to her along with the smell of a cigarette.

"Could you smoke somewhere else?" She asked harshly.

One of the boys only rolled his eyes. "It's just a cigarette and it's freezing."

He passed the cigarette to a taller boy next to him who snickered. "What? Are you pregnant and can't handle the smell?" He teased.

The words made her skip a beat, her face emotionless while color faded from her skin. It didn't take her long to slowly connect the dots, eyes glancing at her stomach while she tried to remember the last time she had had her period.

Her legs began to move before she could think, trying to find the closest pharmacy while still trying to process her own emotions. She had almost forgotten about her date when she bumped into Kerem, the boy holding tightly some flowers.

“Shi-I’m sorry.” She apologized, the sick feeling still on her stomach.

Kerem looked at her, a hint of worry on his eyes. “Are you fine?”

Eda nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I was just...looking for you. Took you long enough.” She swallowed, giving him a small smile to calm his nerves.

He didn’t think much of it, only handing her the flowers. “I um, I got these for you.”

Her smile now was a more genuine one, deciding that there was no way she could be pregnant, that she would take a test but everything would be fine. “Thank you.”

He grinned, an arm looping around her waist. “Let’s go and eat something, I’m starving.”

She agreed, even if everything she ate she ended up throwing up the next day.

There they were. The two, or more like four lines in the two tests in front of her. It was funny how a single second seemed to define what would happen to her for the rest of her life. God, she would age up ten years in the next five with all the stress and work a baby took.

A baby. She was pregnant. She was going to be holding a baby in less than a year. The tests in her shaky hands confirmed that it was a reality she couldn't escape from. Her parents would kill her, and Kerem...Kerem was going to be a father. Would she be able to tell him? What would he say? She knew him too well, everything would be unexpected to him but he would say they could manage, even if a baby right now at 17 seemed like a punishment.

She couldn't.

It was impossible to stop the knot on her throat as she read carefully the pamphlets laid in front of her. Her parents were out for dinner, and her sister was in her own room reading. The phone had rung a few times but she didn't care, she just wanted to get it over with and feel normal again. She had only left her room the last week to go to different pharmacies to buy what she needed, paying with cash so she wouldn’t leave any trace behind.

"Eda! Someone's here for you." Her sister called out.

She furrowed her brows, getting up after quickly hiding the pamphlets under her pillow. Now, in front of her was the last person she wanted to see.

“Kerem.” She started slowly. “What are you doing here?”

He fumbled a bit with his hands, taking a seat next to her in the bed so he wouldn’t start pacing around. “Sorry I just showed up, but I, well we haven’t seen you much the last days.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, avoiding his gaze to focus on one of her drawings, tracing with her index finger the flower in black ink. “I’ve been busy...But I’m almost done now.”

That seemed to ease him, the tension on his shoulders loosening up as he leaned forward to kiss her. She smiled into the kiss, the feeling she had longed for the last days since she had found out. There was only one way things could be back to normal.

“Look, I have to go and buy some groceries before my parents return, can you wait for me here? It won’t take long.” She reassured him, her thumb tracing the back of his hand which had a few bruises on his knuckles.

He nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’m the one who showed up unexpectedly.”

She chuckled, standing up from her seat to grab her bag, her hands almost shaking like she could see the container of pills inside of it even if it was close. “I’ll be back in five minutes.”

In the closest alleyway Eda could finally stop, with her hands trembling while she tried to gather the courage to finally do it, Kerem paced around in her room before finally sitting down back on her bed. There were a few drawings scattered on the floor and her desk, and he smiled as he looked at a few.

He couldn’t believe how the girl could sleep with all the pens on her bed, and he almost laughed as soon as he saw a few papers peeking under her pillow. His smile disappeared as soon as he read them, his mind foggy as he finally realized everything.

It took him two seconds to get up and leave Eda’s apartment, walking down the street at a fast pace looking everywhere for the girl, almost entering a supermarket until he caught sight of her on an alleyway.

"What's this?" He mumbled with disbelief, eyes fixed on the pamphlets he was holding tightly, almost crumpling on his hand.

The question was so abrupt and sudden that her breath hitched on her throat. Her hands trembled and Kerem shallowed thickly, his gaze going from Eda's face to the pills between her hands. Before she could answer, she only closed her hand at the same time Kerem moved forward to take them.

"Eda!"

"Let go of me!" She snapped back, both of them struggling with each other, Eda trying her best not to let go

"How could you— You didn't even tell me!" He shouted, finally opening Eda's hand to throw the pills on the floor. "Do you even know how dangerous this is?"

A moment of silence sat between them, Eda avoiding his gaze before Kerem spoke up again, voice much softer than it had previously been. "Why didn't you tell me? Did you think I would...be angry?"

Honestly, he felt heartbroken if she hadn't told him for fear of his reaction. Fear that he would be furious, questioning if it even was his or if she was lying to him. But he would never do that.

"No." She whispered, warm tears meeting her eyes before she wiped them with the end of her sweater. "I didn't...I didn't know what to do."

"You could have told me." He remarked instantly. "I'm not going to leave just because you're pregnant."

Eda let out a tired sigh. "I don't even know if I want to be."

Kerem stared at her, shock written all over his face, and with no hesitation, he stepped forward to reach for her hand, a flash of hurt on his face as she stepped back.

“I-We can’t do this. We can’t raise a kid, we’re too young.” She admitted, heart beating erratically in her chest.

The alleyway felt too cold, even with her sweater, but she supposed she was sweating and feeling sick for all the situation.

“What are people going to say? My parents...our futures. God, we don’t even have a plan with school.” She continued with her lips in a tight line as she tried not to break down.

The boy shook his head, still trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m not going anywhere. We can manage, we will. I’ll ask my parents for money and...we’ll see from there.”

“Kerem...” Eda whispered, finally letting a tear slip.

He didn’t waste any second to get closer to her, the girl collapsing into Kerem’s open arms. It was just there that he noticed how serious everything was to her. He had never thought about having kids, especially not now. He didn’t even know how to take care of them, not even the basics. What if he turned out to be just as bad as his own father?

“Hey, it’s alright.” He tried to comfort her, the girl continuing to sob in his shoulder while he ran his hand through her hair. Finally, he took a deep breath and held her face between his hands to make her look at him. “We’ll do whatever you want. And I’ll be with you for anything, but this...” He glanced at the pills on the floor. “...isn’t the right way. I don’t want anything happening to you because of me.”

Eda nodded, eyes red and her cheeks still stained. “I...I can’t do this without you.”

“And you won’t.” He repeated. “I promise.”

[beca-mitchell]

I'm always on the lookout for your tags. Bechloe roadtrip au otw? Ahahhaha

aksldg I forget sometimes that people read my tags

honestly, this au was a headcanon that spiralled out of control (looking at you @chloebdeale) as per usual

this is one of the smutty excerpts because sometimes it just be like that

Beca whimpers out against Chloe’s mouth, holding her hips steady.

There is something excessively passionate about the way their kisses shift from excruciatingly soft to devastatingly forceful.

The scratchy fabric rubs against Beca’s back as she shifts, gasping out against emptiness because Chloe pulls back and lifts herself up as best as she can.

“I thought you wanted to look at the stars” Beca murmurs, gliding her hands up Chloe’s thighs. She bites her lip, hoping against hope that Chloe says ‘no’ - that Chloe gives in to her desire.

Chloe makes a soft noise, neither in dissent or agreement. Instead of responding further, she lifts her shirt over her head, smiling down at Beca as if that’s answer enough.

(It is. A million times so.)

“Or we can stay,” Beca murmurs, pulling Chloe back into her body. Once Chloe settles back against her, Beca’s hands immediately find their way up Chloe’s bra, palming at stiff nipples a little greedily; palming a little lovingly.

Chloe’s breath is hot against her cheek. “Stay,” Chloe echoes before she tilts her head, capturing Beca’s half-parted lips in a sweet, delicate kiss. Her hips shift a little restlessly, belying the slow push and pull of their lips.

Chloe loves kissing Beca. She adores how Beca loses her entire body to a kiss - how Beca succumbs to the moment entirely. Beca’s hands never quite know what to do; her hands never linger, nor do they explore too aggressively.

For a few moments, both women are content to linger, neither of them pushing forward for more.

But something drives them forward, as always. Their relationship has always been one of unknowns and variables. Always steadily moving forward towards some inexplicable future, but it never mattered because they were together, finally, after spending so much wasted time apart.

Beca is about to hook her own shorts down her legs when Chloe lifts herself off her again. Chloe makes quick work of her own clothing, giggling a little at Beca’s wide-eyed expression when she tosses the clothes somewhere towards the front of the van.

Briefly, Beca hopes that she locked the van doors, but none of that matters because her eyes are greedily tracking in every inch of exposed skin. Even as Chloe slides down her shorts and underwear in one deft motion, Beca can only focus on how pretty Chloe looks, eyes glimmering in the light. Swollen lips and the barest hint of a flush. Gentle curves that Beca wants to touch. Memories of every intimate encounter they’ve ever had flood through Beca’s mind and settle between her legs, reminding her how much she aches for Chloe to settle inside her; how much she aches for Chloe to make love to her.

Chloe thinks Beca is beautiful like this. Breathless and wanting. Waiting for Chloe’s next move with no small measure of anticipation. Beca’s hair is messy and sprawled against the checkered sheet, gently illuminated by the small lights Chloe strung up around the van earlier. Beca’s skin looks impossibly soft, inciting an itch in Chloe to kiss her everywhere. To gently mark her skin. To nip at her neck, her collarbone. Her stomach. Her breasts. She wants to kiss at Beca’s stiff nipples; wants to suck and leave little aching marks across Beca so that she remembers every last second.

Outside, the breeze is light, flowing in and out of the van intermittently.

Chloe realizes how alone they are - how isolated they are from everybody else. She selfishly has always wanted Beca to herself for as long as she can remember, so this moment feels especially poignant.

Now that Beca’s underwear is discarded, Chloe glides her hands back up Beca’s legs, revelling in the warmth beneath her hands. Gently, she eases Beca’s legs apart, biting her lip to stop the needy whimper that threatens to escape the moment she catches sight of the glistening between Beca’s thighs.

Beca’s chest feels tight. Chloe’s hair falls loosely and messily around her shoulders, looking like Beca has already run her fingers through it a thousand times over. Chloe’s skin is especially luminescent, every last mark and freckle illuminated beneath the dual glow of the moon and the gentle fairy lights. For all that Beca used to make fun of Chloe for her fixation on aesthetics, she can’t find herself complaining at this moment.

“You’re so pretty,” Chloe murmurs, breaking the momentary silence. Beca’s breath returns to her in a sharp inhale and she can only blink at Chloe as she settles between her legs, nestling herself comfortably against her body. “Beautiful,” Chloe continues.

Beca’s breath stutters. Her heart aches inexplicably, like she desperately needs to say something in return. Her hand finds its way into Chloe’s hair again, gripping at thick curls so that they’re closer than ever, suddenly. Chloe’s forehead rests against hers and for an extended pause, they share air like it’s their last together. Every moment with Chloe Beale feels like that somehow - like Beca needs to remember every last second because it feels too surreal. Too delicate. Too beautiful.

Chloe brushes her nose against Beca’s nose. Then her cheek, then the seam of her lips. Beca’s lips part to expel another breath, this one tinged with a hint of a whine. Chloe smiles at that, returning to kiss at Beca’s soft lips, never tiring of the taste of fading lip gloss, never tiring of the instant response she receives.

“Mine,” Beca murmurs against her mouth. “You’re mine,” she continues, muffled and weak against Chloe’s mouth. It’s soft and almost as if Beca has no control over the words leaving her mouth. Almost as if she’s giving in to every last base desire.

It jolts such desperate desire through Chloe’s body that her hand seemingly gravitates straight towards Beca’s center. Maintaining their languid kisses, Chloe slowly uses her fingers to gently stroke through Beca’s soft flesh. The heat is stinging and sharp, with how wet and hot Beca. The same heat flashes through Chloe with an answering slick wetness of her own. One that Beca has to feel against her thigh.

“Touch me,” Chloe pleads softly against Beca’s mouth. “Please, touch me.”

Beca’s breath catches for two reasons: Chloe’s words and Chloe’s fingers, now sufficiently wet and slick, probing at her entrance as if asking permission.

(Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.)