#i'm sure this has been done 100 times already but anyway

[silverzoomies]

Can you do 100 from the smut prompt list with Peter (Dark Phoenix version) but can you make it where the reader is his wife and he still is gentle and loving with her.

I really want to see how you would write a more romantic Peter

Pancakes

peter maximoff x reader smut

warnings: shameless smut, domestic, married couple, cock warming, risky sex, creampie, implied/referenced breeding

word count: 2,762

a/n: this one's for you, purple cat !! apologies, i'm rusty with my writing and characterization right now. probably will be for a while. sorry the ending's so abrupt !!

Peter races ceaselessly back and forth. Like a fast paced pendulum in full swing, he juggles his two most demanding responsibilities. The X-Men and teaching. His multiple jobs and total lack of free time are some of the many downsides of being a grown ass adult. He doesn’t wanna complain too much though, since the work is definitely rewarding overall. Like fo’ sho, he’s not gonna deny the perks.

But even with those sweet positives - making both money, and a name for himself; your superhero husband rarely has time for you anymore.

Peter hopes you’ll forgive him. Again. As he ambles into your shared room after another heinously long day, his body is littered in scrapes and bruises. Echoes of battles won. The wounds will surely heal by next morning. You know this as well as you know him. But you still insist on patching him up anyway, after Beastie’s already taken care of him twice over. You’re just so damn doting. It makes Peter feel even worse for waving you off.

He guarantees you a quick peck on the lips and a “love you, gorgeous.” Before he finally succumbs to mental fatigue. A tired fog of exhaustion beckons him to collapse into bed. You beg Peter to stay up a bit longer. An hour, at least. But just as you get a word in, he’s already conked out. Snoring away.

Within three hours, he wakes. You sleep soundly next to him. Snug as a lil bug. Peter presses a loving smooch to your sleepy head. Ruffling your hair, he bolts out the door promptly after.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Every day. For months on end. His schedule never seems to align with yours.

Peter misses you so bad. He misses spending time with you. Laughing together. Cuddling for brief instances, cuz he can never sit still long enough for it to last. He misses making small talk. Only to glance at the clock and find hours unknowingly passed. Peter longs to take you on spontaneous trips across the country again, trying pancakes at every small town diner he can find.

And to put it bluntly - he desperately yearns to make love again. To you. His smokin’ hot wife - Mrs. Maximoff - and no one else. After months of pent-up frustration, he’s about ready to burst at the seams. It physically pains him when he remembers how often the two of you used to bone. So many times a day. Every day.

Peter still wonders if his speedy swimmers are even worth a damn. With all the raw, passionate sex he had with you - it’s a miracle you never followed the Maximoff family trend of carrying twins.

He even misses the more shameful moments shared with you. Like the times he surprised you with truckloads of gifts, spoiling you rotten - after he forgot your anniversary. Again. And again and again and- …hey, he warned you, long before the two of you ever got married. Peter isn’t the most reliable lover. He’s never been “boyfriend material,” as they say. And he knows now, better than ever; he most definitely isn’t “husband material" either.

But he really does love you. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. About as much as he loves Wanda. Which is an astronomical amount of love, if he's being honest. And if he were born with some reality-warping mutation instead, Peter would move the heavens and Earth just to make you happy.

Times are tough for mutants these days, though. There’s still so much work to be done. Classes to teach. Rights to fight for. People to save. No shortage of those.

You know he isn’t to blame for his absence. And he knows you know it. But still...it just...it sucks! He needs to be there for you, as much as you wanna be there for him.

And when the X-family comes together on a Friday night for a much needed break - more than anything in the world, Peter looks forward to spending every second with you. As soon as you walk into the lounge room, Peter pulls you straight into his arms. You’re wearing a tasteful dress you picked out just for him. It makes you look like a goddamn knockout. But all he wants is to tear it off you and press his bare body against yours. To feel your soft, luscious skin get sweatier under the natural, burning heat of his own.

The team play a few board games together, sharing drinks, gorging on Remy’s best gumbo. Peter gets a slap on the wrist with a ladle, after Lebeau catches him sneaking a third bowl - before anyone else even has their first.

It’s an easygoing, chillaxed affair. And throughout the night, your silver fox husband keeps you close like a magnet. Attached at the hip. He’s uncharacteristically clingy, touching you as much as you’ll allow in a sociable space. Calloused hands tenderly graze your skin as he offers to hold your drink. Peter’s fingers splay against your lower back, curling in, drawing affectionate circles.

You make your rounds and mingle with the family. Peter follows you around like a lost dog in need of attention. He keeps an arm wrapped around your waist, taking every opportunity to secretly grope your ass. You sneak him a few wary glances. Wordless warnings. Bringing his drink to his lips, the fine lines of Peter’s dimples pull in a lazy grin. He averts his gaze elsewhere.

Once more, his impulsivity earns him a slap on the wrist. Not from Remy this time. But from you. Peter takes your subtle scolding as a challenge. Leaning closely into your vicinity, he mutters.

“Oh, it is so on.”

“Don’t you dare!” You whisper back, squealing after he gives you a light smack on your ass.

His teasing continues without warning.

You chat with the team, visibly tensing as Peter pulls a nonexistent strand of lint from your dress. His hot touch lingers dangerously close to your cleavage. You can’t help but blush. The warmth in your cheeks races across your skin, creeping through your supple bust. Left speechless, your words falter on your tongue. Peter carries the conversation for you with minimal effort, flaunting aloof charisma.

He cracks a poorly timed joke and it fails to land. Feigning his embarrassment, he hides his face in the fragrant crook of your neck. His teammates tease him for it. But what they don’t know is, it’s all a theatrical ruse. They don’t see the way his teeth nip your flesh before he pulls away.

During an innocent game of UNO, your husband’s lidded gaze leers at you from across the carpeted floor. Peter’s dark hues make a short gesture to the dip between your legs. Biting his lip, he meets your eyes again with a frisky look. You know that look all too well. Again, you blush profusely. Logan catches him in the act as he wiggles his silver brows. But the old timer makes no comment, shaking his head with a smirk.

The team later settles down for a movie. Taking their respective spots in front of the TV, snacks in hand, they all lounge around. Peter steals a cozy spot on one of the sofas. He leaves a space for you next to him. Bouncing a knee restlessly, he cooks up a number of sneaky ways he can tease you. But his plans are all tossed to the wind once you scooch your way between the couch and the coffee table.

You shimmy your ample ass in front of him. Is it intentional? Unintentional? You naughty, little minx. His virile gaze falls to your tush, so full and grabbable in your dress. In a split second, he grabs your waist and inches you back into the warm familiarity of his lap. Your body relaxes, your back against his chest.

Finally, at last, Peter cuddles his wife again.

And he’s content with doing so for all of one minute.

His knee continues to bounce underneath you. With your hands joined together in your lap, his fingers absentmindedly play with your wedding ring. Steering his attention from Jurassic Park, Peter brings a hand to your chin. In the darkness, the television’s light illuminates all of your best features. You’re stunning. He really can't help himself. Peter pulls you in for some modest lip action. Careful not to catch anyone’s attention. The fingers of his opposite hand tease the back of your neck, igniting patterns of goose flesh.

“Aw, you cold?” Peter’s affectionate voice hitches, seemingly innocent.

He doesn’t wait for an answer. Peter vanishes and returns in a fwip, draping a thick blanket over the two of you once he returns. Showing gratitude, you peck his cheek with a soft kiss. Cute. Your mischievous husband almost laughs. He adores how naive and sweet you are. Oblivious to his schemes after five years of a marriage, and a decade of familiarity. Peter makes a few adjustments. Playing it off like he’s covering you for warmth.

You sink into him again with a fond smile on your lips.

An adoring smile that instantly falls, lips parting, exhaling a breathless gasp.

Peter trails fiery fingertips along your inner thigh and up your dress skirt. His hooded gaze stays hard locked on the movie, faking interest in Jeff Goldblum’s incoherent mumblings. Blissful buzzes resound faintly against the fabric of your panties. Peter’s grin stretches impishly again when you jolt as a response. Your clit pulses under flush pressure, making you squirm in his lap.

Confession time: your husband’s on a mission to make you as wet as possible, in as little time as possible.

The pads of his warm digits draw lower and push into damp fabric. You’re already soaking yourself silly.

“Feel that? How wet you are? Must’ve really missed me, huh?” Peter breathes silently with his nose in your neck, getting high off your familiar scent. His lips press a chaste kiss to your skin. A husky chuckle blooms in his throat, “Missed you too. Missed this. So fuckin' much.”

His name teeters off your lips in a confused whimper, barely audible. Sneaking your damp panties to the side, Peter’s thick digits breach your lonesome pussy folds. After being deprived of you for so ungodly long, the feel of your wet lust hardens him all at once. His fingers play a little game of tunnel diving, prodding your lush insides. Peter adjusts his position on the sofa by a smidgen. Silent curses tickle your temple. His girth bulges against your ass.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?!” You huff under your breath, frantically scanning the room as he shifts again.

Peter’s digits curl so deliciously deep inside you, whirring like a silent vibrator, making your cunt spill leaky love. His breathy lips loom close to your ear.

“Hmm? Gunna try somethin’ risky. You’ll be quiet for me, won’t you, baby? Don’t want ‘em catchin’ on.” 

“Honey, no-”

“Shhh. Shhh. Shhh. Just go with the motions. Trust me. It’ll be so fun. I know you wanna.”

Peter uses speedster precision to pull his flush dick discreetly from his jeans. Poor guy’s so homesick, he’s crying - leaking precum, throbbing as Peter nudges him into your plush heat. It’s an awkward angle at first. But Peter guides you through it with more hushed whispers. The blanket acts as a veil of innocence, draped over your connected bodies. Peter urges your hips to sink lower. You choke on your own mewls as he scarcely ruptures your precious tunnel.

“Tell me if it hurts, ‘kay?” He coos through an easy tone, parting his lips against the shell of your ear.

A subtle hitch of his hips does the rest of the work for you. Biting his tongue, Peter curls his brows inward. Your slick walls envelop his length all at once. Smooth, shuddery tightness compresses his cock and sets his nerves ablaze. Your husband peppers your temple in heedless kisses, letting throaty grunts slip in between each one. His pulsing cock keeps your walls pried open. Snug, safe, secure, and buried to the hilt.

Peter doesn’t move, and neither do you. One of his hands digs nails into your hips over your dress, keeping you cemented on his lap. He’s torturing himself, fighting his own relentless impatience in an attempt to stay perfectly still. And it’s taking every microscopic ounce of willpower not to pound you senseless. Peter covers his face with a palm. His dark, lust-blown eyes peer through lazy fingers at the TV.

He’s six inches deep in his wife right now, and not a soul in the room has any clue.

Clearing his throat and acting casual, Peter shifts his hips again. His fat tip prods your cervix with a weepy kiss. Like a promise to stuff you full of something special. He sneaks a careful hand between your legs. His wedding ring settles over your bush, cool to the touch. The rough pads of his fingers vibrate more intensely than before, winding into your twitchy clit. Coaxing you to break. You tremble in his lap, knees flying inward, knocking together hard enough to bruise.

Peter’s eyes roll back in his skull as your sticky walls seize tightly around his snug dick.

“Ah, fuck me.” He groans into your hair.

He can’t stop himself from knocking his hips upward every few minutes. Burrowing his buzzing thickness deeper, Peter splits you open, impaling your poor pussy. His genes imbue his body with primal frustration. Hiking the intensity of your hot bliss, his digits toy with your clit. Your breaths grow more sparse and shallow, as you blink tears from the corners of your eyes.

“Pietro, honey, please-"

He hitches his next breath. Reeling his ass into the couch cushions, Peter makes an abrupt retreat before ramming his cock into your womb. His inky gaze widens tenfold as your pussy swells, squeezing his dick tight enough to lock him in your hot channel forever. His lashes flutter. Going cross eyed, Peter feels his weighty balls tense under denim.

His hand darts up from your hip, clamping over your mouth in a flash. Peter pulls you hard against him, your back flush with his heaving chest as you cum. You’re so fucking lucky the movie transitions into a particularly loud scene. The shrill roar of Jurassic Park dinosaurs plays like a perfectly timed miracle. Concealing your muffled squeals of ecstasy.

The slippery contractions of your orgasm send him into the stratosphere. Your pussy creams hard on your husband’s whirring cock, and his pent-up longing comes crashing in bombastic waves. As covertly as he can, under the thick heat of the blanket; Peter repeatedly thrusts into your lush pussy. Slowly - so as not to catch anyone’s attention. 

It’s both the most hellish, and thrilling sexual experience of his near-middle aged years. He bites his lip so hard he draws blood. Peter’s brows fly up, following an expression of pure vulnerability. Thick, endless pools of white, syrupy heat flood your pussy, gushing in streaks and leaking down his vascular dick.

Peter takes a two second pause to catch his breath, unusually winded from such a scandalously intimate experience. With his nose buried in your hair, his lips pepper your head in soft kisses. Bringing his fist to his mouth, Peter clears his throat again.

“Uhm, g-great party, guys! Love you! We’re gonna bounce. G’night!”

The two of you disappear in a blur, leaving the blanket fluttering in the air.

Back in your shared room, your ever-insatiable husband drills you raw again and again. Spilling thick, sticky load after load - like he’s really trying his damndest to knock you up. You lose track of how many times you reach ecstasy. Peter tells you he’s making up for lost time. By the end of it all, your limp, naked body lies loosely in his arms. Running his fingers through your hair, he catches himself staring at the ceiling with a big, dumb smile on his face.

Saturday morning, Peter channels his inner, teenage self. Recalling his notorious streak of high school ditch-days, much to his mother’s dismay. He decides…ah, screw it. If Chuck needs him, he can just reach out via telepathic communication. Peter bails on his responsibilities to take you out for pancakes. At a family owned diner in some nowhere town, far away from any sinister villains.

You sit across from him at the booth, leaning tiredly over your breakfast. He can tell your body aches just by looking at you. Bones rigid. Legs sore. Hair unkempt. Makeup smeared. 

You’re goddamn beautiful.

[gomzwrites]

Being their sugar baby

Summary: A look into some moments if they are your sugar daddy(separately)

Pairing: John Price, Simon Ghost Riley with x civy gn!Reader

Tags: fluff, implied/light nsfw, you call them daddy, kissing, mdni(18+)

Note: gif are not mine, reader’s texts are in purple!, indented texts are memories

a/n: this is for you annon who wanted a sugar daddy cod thing <3 It took me a while to get this done and I'm still not 100% satisfied with it, the amount of self-control I needed to not make this into a full-blown smut fic- 

Anyways, this time I only wrote for Price and Ghost, I do have a few drafts for Soap and Gaz but I haven’t finished it yet cause my adhd ass cannot be decisive. I don't know if I will complete them or not since my uni starts tomorrow, so no promises!

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Captain John Price

Hmmm absolutely not, you’re not going anywhere like that.

John clicks his tongue as he shakes his head and looks at the outfit you’re wearing with a disapproving look as you give him a pout. 

Daddy, we’ve been here for an hour already. 

You complain as you sigh and let the workers remove your clothes and frown as Price goes through another list of outfits, putting his finger up in the air as he gives you a smile.

Patience, sweetheart. I need to make sure you look just as good as I am at the party, hm? 

He says as he picks out another fancy clothe that is probably worth more than your car and orders the people around to dress you up again. You chuckle and roll your eyes as you do as you are told. Obediently dressing up as you glance at yourself in the mirror.

There you are, look at you…

He gives a proud smile as his beard shifts and walks slowly at you, you giggle as you give a spin and let him rake his eyes over your body, watching and observing you as if he is admiring a piece of art. 

Mmm, you like it?

He gives a nod as he rests his hands on your shoulders and gently adjusted the creased fabric slightly and glances at you through the mirror, always a perfectionist. A content look shows as he kisses your hair.

Always so perfect, sweetheart. Do you like it as well? 

He whispers into your ears as he runs his rough calloused hand around your waist and thigh, watching as your half-lidded eyes trace his motion from the reflection, he gives your ear a bite when you haven’t replied, already hazy when you take in a deep breath and stare yourself in the mirror.

You’re always confident with how you look with how much care and precision you put into yourself. Sticking a routine and maintaining your diet, and you thank yourself for having such discipline because that’s exactly how you even met John Price in the first place.

You give a few stretches and hum a tune as you feel how nicely the soft silk fabric adorns your body perfectly, no matter where you turn or pose it always displays your shape in the best way possible. You appreciate how he asks for your opinion still even though he makes the final decision, truthfully you’ll wear anything he wants you to because for one, it makes him happy and two, you can rock any outfit really.

Yes, I like it. Thank you, Daddy. 

He gives you a hush on your ear as he slightly runs his thumb across your exposed neck. This is nothing, no need to thank me. He whispers before tilting his head and turning back to the mirror again.

Hm, think you want a little something here? 

He gives a tap on your neck as you give him a nod.

He turns around with a hum and glances around the jewellery box he got you and picks one, you quickly place your hand on his as you shake your head, he raises his brow as he complies and lets you take out another shiny one instead, he gives a chuckle as he watches you wear it.

Out of so many of them, you always wear that one huh sweetheart? 

He says as he brushes your hair away and hooks his finger on the gold choker and examines it. It's the first of many pieces of jewellery he bought for you and it has since become your favourite. You’ll admit that the other necklaces with different gemstones and accessories would’ve fit your look better, but you also wear this one because it always reminded you the day you got it. 

Okay no way, you spent how much on this again?? You gesture at the beautiful gold choker, shining and twinkling brightly under the light as it hangs from Price’s hand. He gives a laugh as he ties it around your neck and ravishes the way it hugs around your pretty neck perfectly. Hush, if it looks good on you then it doesn’t matter. You give a frown and pout as he pokes your puffy cheek and smirks, turning your head to face the mirror again as you take a moment to examine it, you’ll have to agree that it does look pretty good as you run your hand along the cold metal, you’d expect it to be heavy but it’s pretty lightweight and it doesn't bite into your skin. 

Is it because you like the way you look with nothing but the choker on? 

He pulls you back out of your thoughts into the current time as he whispers with a dangerously low tone in your ear, causing you to blush as you tense up and recall the memory. He gives another chuckle as he bites your neck softly and nibbles it, causing you to whine as you push him away gently.

W-w-wait wait wait- the party-

Ah to hell with the party, need you now, need my sweetheart.

He rasps as he pulls the curtain and presses you onto the mirror with your back against him, feeling his palm going under the silk as he stares at you hungrily.  Are you going to be good for me then? He gives a devilish smirk as you quickly nod and arch your back for him.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Simon Ghost Riley

You walk towards your kitchen as you hum out a tune and give a soft yawn as you turn on the sink handle to let the water run, lazily rubbing your eyes as you wait for the water to fill the pot.  

Angel… 

A second voice joins you as Ghost wrapped around your waist and nuzzles close into your neck.

Mmmm, good morning Daddy.

You reply with another yawn as you kiss his cheek which earns a satisfied hum from him as he presses light kisses around your neck, leaving trails of goosebumps as he pulls your body closer to his. Soft, gentle yet needy as always.

You have been in this arrangement with him for the past two years already, he’d pay for your bills and get you anything you wanted, while you would court him to dinners, being his plus one essentially. It started off as once or twice per week, then to three or four, then somewhere along the line though, he had chosen to visit you and just bask in your presence whenever he wanted in your apartment, well the apartment he bought for you that is.

It took a while to get used to him, you were even sceptical and scared out of your life when you first met him after a friend recommended him to you. You study his actions a lot, being on your best behaviour for him on the first few outings. Overtime, you come to realise a few things about him.

He doesn’t ask for much whenever he’s at your place, he just wants to have you close to him, he’ll pull you away from whatever you’re doing to sit on his lap, smiling whenever you protest or complain about how it distracts you from doing your chores. 

I can hire a maid for you to do it you know. Absolutely not, I don't trust them. Hm, I’ll find trustable ones... Then what am I going to do? Then you’ll give me all your attention, Angel. 

Whenever you’re with him outside, one of his hands must always be on you, be it your waist, hands, or neck. He’s never one to speak a lot, instead to answer you based on his actions. He is also incredibly observant, if you stare at one item just another second too long you’ll see it on your bed the next day. Thanks to him, you also forgot what it's like to stress over every single payment every day, he’d always pay your bills the moment you send him the receipts. You don’t question where or how he manages to carry things out with this efficiently, but you suspect it’s probably due to his job in the military. Well, you don’t know if he actually is working in one.

So are you like an admiral in the military or something?  You asked casually one day when you were sitting on his lap and feeding him strawberries, you can tell he glance at you from the corner of his eye as he slowly run his hand along your back and munch the fruit, to your surprise he actually responded to your question this time and not ignore it like he always does to any questions that are related to him. How did you come to that conclusion? You give a long hmmm and answer back as you gesture at his body. Well, you’re ridiculously big and tall, and you carry yourself highly anywhere you go. At first, I thought maybe it was just a confidence thing, but the way you walk, your gait…it follows a very specific rhythm. You also tend to have a much broader, stricter stance.  You paused before you glance back at his arm and ghost your finger cautiously, Aaaaaand your tattoo, quite interesting with the choices of pattern no? You say as you trail along the dog tags, guns and skulls, pausing as you rest your hand on one of the longer faint scars on his forearm. and I’m assuming these scars are not just from simple accidents.  He gives a low chuckle once he patiently listen and wait for you to finish your answer, feeling the vibration from his chest as you give a grin and tilt your head and watch him, he gives you a smirk as he run his finger along your cheek, Such a smart angel, hm? He whispered as he brings you in for a kiss, wrapping his palm around your neck as you give a shudder, you kiss him slowly before retracting as you wipe the string of saliva that connected from his lips to yours. So was I right? He only hummed as he kissed your ears and grabbed your thighs over for you to straddle his hip. You never got a confirmation or an answer, but you didn’t mind since he was clearly professional in throwing your questions out the window the moment he pulled your hips close to him and feel something hard pressing against you as a gasp escape your mouth-

The memory sends a shiver down your spine as you snap back to the present time.

Cold?

He mumbles when he stopped his hands, you realize he has been rubbing your bare hips under your hoodie for some time now as you felt the warm pad of his fingers pressing into your skin.

You shake your head as you turn around and face him,

Mm, just thinking…

You whisper back as you rest your hand on his chest, watching it rise and fall, he raised his eyebrow as he carries you with ease and puts you on the cold kitchen counter, watching the way your thigh bounce softly upon contact, he glance back up at you as he rest his chin on your chest.

What were you thinking about? 

He says with a smirk as you blush and giggle softly.

Thinking about you. 

You replied back as he tilt his head in amusement.

Issit now…. 

He gives a reply as he kisses your nose and gives you a coy smirk,

Thinking about how well your sugar daddy treats you? 

He whispers as he kisses your neck teasingly, making your cheek red as he flattens his tongue on your skin and swipes it in a circular motion.

M-mhm. 

You replied back with a shaky tone as he sucks on your soft skin, leaving a soft mark as he chuckles. He starts to slowly trail his hand up under your shirt as he leans in and mutters against your sensitive ear once more. 

My angel, always so good to me.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

a/n: am pushing my soft Ghost agenda with this one >:] and yes, if you noticed I always write Price to be a bit mean hehe. I don't know how to feel with this fic, do let me know what you think! Have a nice day/night :D

[skz-bee123]

You fall asleep on them

Stray Kids reaction

Word Count: 6.9K

This has not been edited so if there is any mistakes I'm sorryyy. Anyway I hope you enjoy reading this!

Bang Chan

Chan knew that no matter what you did you would always put 100 percent into it. You would always go above and beyond to prove to only to others but to yourself that you could, and would do it. You never gave up and always gave things a shot. Sure, sometimes things did throw you on the ground but you always, always got back up.

And that was a trait of you that Chan greatly admired.

Normally.

But there were those times that you pushed yourself beyond your limits. Running on only little to no sleep. If you consumed food at all, it was take out and even then most of it would be life to go cold, forgotten as you were too busy doing something.

You were always doing something.

Now don't get him wrong, Chan knew that he could be just as bad at taking care of himself but he knew that despite how hard you were working yourself, you always had time for Chan. To remind him that he needed to take a break, take some time for himself, to clear his mind out.

Yet, Chan never seemed to be able to do the same for you. You kept things to yourself, insisting that you didn't need someone watching over you.

Chan did not want to push you, the last thing he would ever want to do is make you upset but it was the boys saying something to him that he realised that maybe he did need to step in.

"Hyung?"

Chan looks up from where he's sitting on the couch, taking his headphones off with his laptop on his lap. "Yeah?"

The other members of Stray Kids had come over to yours and Chan's place. The plan was to have a movie night and the kids would stay over. The thing was, you still weren't home. And the boys insisted that no movie would be played until you got home.

"Do you know when noona will be back?" Felix asks.

Chan's eyebrows furrow, "what's the time?"

"It's 9:32." Minho holds up his phone with the time for everyone to see.

"I-I'm not sure, she should've already been home by now." Chan says. "I'll try calling her."

Your phone goes straight to voicemail and Chan sighs before shooting you a quick message.

Channie

Hey love, the boys are here waiting for you. It's movie night, remember? Just checking to see when you'll be home.

Love you and be safe.

"She didn't answer but I texted her, she should be here soon though." Chan says as he looks at his members. "Alright what is it?"

"Noona always takes care of us right?" Hyunjin says. "I mean, she always makes sure we're taking a break, that we're eating, and sleeping well."

Chan smiles at that, "yeah she does. She talks about the whole lot of you all the time. She really loves you all."

"We get that and we love her too. I mean don't even get me started on how many times we've all called her eomma, heck, even Minho's done it once." Jisung says which gets a laugh out of everyone and a glare from Minho. "But..."

Jisung didn't need to carry on for Chan to know what he's saying.

"I know, I worry too."

Before anyone can say anything else, the sound of the front door opening catches all of their attention. They hear you sigh before the sound of your dropping your shoes on the ground before they see you walk into the dining room when you put your bag on the table, grabbing the edge of a chair.

You're completely drenched.

You still don't seem to notice that they are all watching you and Chan goes to say something before a choked sound escapes you making him freeze, it makes them all freeze.

They all watch as you start to sob, falling to the ground holding yourself.

"Noona..." Jisung's voice rings out.

The sound makes you whip your head up and you freeze before frantically wiping the tears off your face.

"Oh my gosh, I completely forgot that it was movie night tonight. I'm so sorry, I'll go get changed then we can watch the movie." You say, trying to stand up but end up tripping over yourself. But before you could even hit the ground again, Chan was there, pulling you into his chest.

You try your best but you just end up breaking down. No longer able to hold it together anymore. Chan, holding you tightly, speaks to you quietly enough that the boys can't make out what he says before he lifts you to your feet where he leads you to your bedroom, shutting the door behind you both.

The boys don't speak as they wait and it isn't long until Chan comes back out.

"She's alright, just had a very bad day, it was just too much for her." Chan says.

"Do you, or well, does noona need us to leave? We can do movie night another night." Jeongin asks.

"No, no. She doesn't want you all to leave. I think she'd be more upset if you did." Chan answers.

"Has she eaten?" Minho speaks.

Chan shakes his head, "no, I'll go make her some food now."

Minho stands up, "it's alright hyung, I'll sort out some food. Just go be with her."

Chan hesitates, "are you sure?"

"Yeah." Minho nods, "besides, I'm sure this lot is also hungry again."

"I mean, I could eat again." Changbin raises his hand.

"Of course you can," Minho rolls his eyes, a smile on his face before turning back to Chan. "Go."

It's 30 minutes later that you finally emerge with Chan from your bedroom. You're wrapped up in some sweats and a hoodie that it way too big for you, obviously being Chan's. You look much calmer now, but your eyes show just how tired you really were.

"Noona! Come sit with us?" Felix asks as he points to the spot between him and Jisung. The boys seem to have placed a bunch of blankets around the place and have your favourite movies set up.

You look towards Chan who only gives you a smile and small nod. You walk towards the boys and sit down between them. Felix and Jisung wrapping their arms around you instantly.

You watch as Chan walks into the kitchen, soon coming out with food, followed by Minho who was carrying more food. They lay the food on the table, dishing it out for everyone. Chan hands a bowl of food to Jisung and Felix before grabbing one for you, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he sits down on a different couch with Minho.

Everyone starts digging in and you catch Minho watching you out of the corner of your eyes. He doesn't touch his food until you've eaten a couple mouthfuls before digging into his own. It bring a small smile to your face.

After the food is done and bowls have been put away the first movie is put on. You lay your head on Jisung's shoulder as Felix snuggles into your side. You get comfortable then make eye contact with Chan who was looking at you with a smile on his face.

'I love you', you mouth towards him.

'I love you more.'

The next time Chan looks over at you, you're sound asleep, Jisung and Felix too. Chan look s around the room and sees Changbin and Jeongin snuggled together sound asleep, seungmin and Hyunjin still invested in the movie.

"She's gonna be alright." Minho's words catch Chan's attention and he looks at him with a confused gaze.

"With us, I mean. We'll look after her. She's family too." Minho gesture towards you.

"I know." Chan reaches over and pulls Minho into his side, squeezing him tight. Despite the complaints coming from his mouth, Minho doesn't pull away.

Chan smiles to himself as he looks at his family around the room before his gaze rests on you.

Yeah, he thinks to himself.

Everything will be alright.

Lee Minho

It had been a couple days since you had last seen Minho, he had been busy in the studio. Learning new choreography and all that comes with being an idol, left him with little to no time to see you.

Minho had texted you a few hours before, he was supposed to come over to yours but was stuck at the studio, saying that since it'll be late once he's finished he'll just head back to the dorms.

It left you a bit worried and you decided to go over to the studio. Picking up some food along the way.

You quietly open the door, just in case Minho was practising, you didn't want to disturb him. But to your surprise, he was sitting against the wall with a towel over his face, breathing heavily.

You shut the door which catches Minho's attention but he doesn't take the towel off his face.

"Go away." Minho says.

You raise your eyebrows in amusement, obviously the boys have been in, annoying Minho and he thought you were one of the boys.

"Rude, I was bringing you some food too." You say, a smile on your face.

Minho takes the towel off his face and looks at you with surprise.

"Y/n?" Minho says.

You nod your head, "mhm, it's me and I've brought you some food. You sure you want me to go away?"

Minho just rolls his eyes at you before he stands up walking over to you where he gently grabs your waist and places a kiss on your forehead.

Minho, with his hands still on your waist, leads you over to where his stuff is and you both sit down.

You take out the food you brought and dish some out for both you and Minho.

"What are you doing here though? You should be at home." Minho asks after you've both started eating.

"Yeah, but you texted me saying you were gonna be here for the night, so I thought I'd just come and bring you some food. Possibly stay for a bit is that's okay with you?"

Minho smiles and nods his head before picking up his chopsticks and holding them out to you, "eat, you're still in your work clothes, it's obvious you came straight here from work. I'm sure you're hungry and tired as well."

Seeing you not moving, Minho nudges you. "Eat." He says, still holding the chopsticks up to you where you finally open your mouth and let him feed you.

"How was your day?" You ask sometime later after you've both finished eating and you're putting away the rubbish.

Minho just shrugs his shoulders as he watches you walk over to the bin where you chuck away the rubbish. "You?"

"It was tiring but I got quite a lot of things done that I wanted to, so I'm happy with how today went." You reply as you walk back over to Minho where you sit down next to him and lay your head on his shoulder.

"That's good," Minho grabs your hand, playing with your fingers as he speaks. "I'm happy that you're happy with how today went."

"Do you wanna talk to me about what you're working on at the moment?"

Minho starts to tell you about the new dances he was preparing for, not only for the comeback with the boys but also a personal dance too.

You try your hardest to listen to him, you really do. Everything Minho does, especially when it comes to dance, always captivates you entirely. He puts his heart and soul into what he does, it's one of the reasons you fell more and more in love with everyday that passed.

But try as you may, the comfort of your boyfriend's shoulder, the comfort of his hands playing with your fingers, the comfort of Minho's voice as he told you about all the things he was working on was just so warm and made you feel so cosy, so soft, so tired.

It isn't until Minho feels dead weight on his shoulder that he stops talking and looks down at you. You were fast asleep, a little smile on your face.

Minho reaches over to grab his hoodie that was laying on the ground and drags it over you as a makeshift blanket. He notices a bit of your hair has fallen onto your face and softly pushes it behind your ear, trying his best not to wake you.

He knows he needs to get back to practising but at this very moment, your rest, your happiness was much more important to him than dance. Because yeah, Minho loved dance, he wouldn't be who he was right now if it wasn't for dance. But Minho had been slowly coming to the realisation that perhaps he loved you even more. And as scary as that was, maybe, just maybe, that wasn't such a bad thing.

You snuggle in closer to Minho in your sleep and it brings a smile out on Minho's face.

Yeah, that wasn't a bad thing at all.

Seo Changbin

You and 3RACHA had been in the studio for the past couple of hours. It had started off with only you and Changbin, with Changbin working on music and you working on stuff of your own.

It was silent between the two of you but that silence was welcomed. It didn't matter that there was no conversation happening between the two of you because you were together, you were in the comfort of each other's presence.

"Hey babe?"

You look up from your work as Changbin calls for you, "yeah?"

"You mind if Chan hyung and Jisung stop by for a bit? I got a few things I wanna rub through with them."

A smile forms on your face, "of course I don't mind."

Changbin wheels his chair over to you, giving you a kiss before wheeling back and picking up his phone.

You carry on doing your work, getting so focused that you don't hear the door opening, nor do you head Chan and Jisung come into the room.

But hands grabbing your shoulders and someone whispering 'boo', into your ear makes your jump and scream slightly.

You see Jisung back away slowly with his hands up, all three boys chuckling at you. Turning towards Changbin you whack him softly.

"What? Why'd you hit me? Jisung scared you, not me." Changbin whines.

"Yeah but I bet it was your idea and besides, you know I can't stay mad at Jisung."

Changbin catches a proud grin of Jisung's face before turning back towards you with a pout. "But baby."

"Nah ah, you're getting no sympathy from me."

Changbin huffs and you giggle, placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

You exchange greetings with the boys before moving to the couch to give them more room to work. The chatter of the boys as they worked was a comforting background noise for you and it didn't take you love before you were finished with your work and just sat there and watched them as they did their thing.

Their way of working was harmonious. They just worked so well together and it was something that you greatly admired about 3RACHA.

Changbin eventually turns around in his seat and notices you watching them, he smiles at you before standing up and making his way over.

"You alright baby? Get your work done?" Changbin says as he sits down next to you, after which you place your head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, once I got into it I flew through it pretty quickly."

"Of course you did."

"What about you? How are things going?"

Grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers together, Changbin answers, "pretty good actually, the track is coming along just how we want it to."

"That's not surprising though."

"No?"

"No, it's not, come on, you guys always come up with the most out of world music like it's nothing."

"We are pretty good." Changbin says, looking smug.

You just shake your head at him with a smile on your face. "Well, I was thinking..." you say turning your body so that your back is against Changbin's chest as he pulls you in tighter against him.

"Yeah?" Changbin hums.

"You have a day off this weekend right? Saturday?"

"I do."

"We should have a movie day, or like a self care day? I can order some food and we can just, I don't know, relax together?" You ask, playing with Changbin's fingers.

You feel a kiss being placed on your forehead before Changbin answers, "sounds absolutely amazing babe."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm, I honestly think that it's something that both of us deserve."

"That's true, we have been working pretty hard lately, we deserve a break."

"That we do my love." Changbin agrees with you.

The two of you converse quietly for a little while longer until your words become nonexistent. Jisung turns around in his seat after hearing your talking grow silent. it was weird, but having the two of you softly talking in the background while he worked was oddly comforting. So, not hearing your voices, he turns around to see what was up, smiling when he notices why.

"Oi, hyung." Jisung nudges Chan who takes off his headphone and turns to Jisung.

"Yeah?"

"Look." Jisung points.

Chan follows where Jisung is pointing and sees you and Changbin sound asleep on the couch, cuddled up together.

"Ahh, so that's why they stopped talking." Chan says, voicing Jisung's exact thoughts.

Jisung stands up and grabs the blanket on the side of the couch, the ones that's always kept there for the late nights the boys pull, the ones for when they inevitably fall asleep in the studio.

"Cute, aren't they?" Jisung says as he tucks the blanket over the two of you, turning around to see Chan smiling at them.

"They are, well I guess we should let them rest, we'll wake them up when we're done."

"Sounds good to me."

Hwang Hyunjin

The kids had been looking for the both of you for a little over 10 minutes now. Neither of you were answering your phones and they were starting to panic. The boys had all been sitting in the room together, you had gone off to find a bathroom but did not return back, Hyunjin went off to find you. But after 10 minutes neither of you had come back and they were panicking. 

“Maybe they just got lost?” Jisung questions. 

“Maybe, but then why aren’t they answering their phones?” Chan panics. 

“We’ll wait here for another 10 minutes, if they still don’t return we’ll go look for them okay?” One of the Skz staff members reassures the boys. 

They all nod their head as they wait, watching the clock for those 10 minutes to pass. And when those 10 minutes pass and there is no sign of either of you, they really start to freak. 

“Something could have happened, we should've gone looking for them as soon as they didn't come back.” Chan paces back and forth. 

“Hyung sit down,” Changbin grabs Chan, “there’s no point stressing out, the staff will find them okay?” 

It’s not even 5 minutes later when a staff member walks back into the room and the boys jump to their feet. 

“What happened? Did you find them? Are they okay? Where are they?” The boys ask question after question. 

“We did find them and they are all right.” A fond smile makes its way to the staff’s face and he gestures for the boys to follow him. 

They all follow him until the staff member stops in front of a door. “We passed by a few stylists who had asked Y/n to grab something for them in the door that was by the bathrooms.” He gestures to the bathroom which was right next door. “The only thing is, the door locks from the outside, so when she went in, she got stuck.” 

“And Hyunjin?” Seungmin asks. 

“Well we’re assuming that when Y/n didn’t return, when Hyunjin went to look for her he must've heard her, went inside the room the door shut behind them and they both were stuck.” 

Chan shakes his head as he reaches over to grab the door and pushes it open. The door opened to reveal you and Hyunjin snuggled up on the floor, both sound asleep. 

“So that’s why they weren’t answering our calls.” Minho says. 

“Scared the absolute daylights out of me and this is why.” Chan smiles fondly as he looks down at the two of you before he walks into the room to wake you both up. 

“Hyung? You found us?” Hyunjin wipes his eyes sleepily. 

“After you both send us on a wild goose chase, yes, yes we did.” Chan says. 

“We?” 

You and Hyunjin look to see the rest of Stray Kids as well as a few staff members standing there and you both blush. 

“Sorry, this was all my fault.” You say. 

“No, it’s alright,” Chan says, holding a hand out for you to grab as he helps you stand back up on your feet. “It will be a pretty funny story to tell so we’ll forgive you, besides we didn’t freak out THAT much.” 

“That isn’t true, you were the one who was freaking out the most.” Seungmin says. 

“No I wasn’t.” Chan defends himself. 

The rest of Stray Kids all start to argue and you and Hyunjin look at each other before bursting out with laughter.

Han Jisung

It was well past 2am and you both were still awake. Maybe it was the cold, or perhaps something else that was keeping you awake. But there was something different about being with someone, with existing with them, breathing with them, at 2 in the morning.

It was these moments that Jisung appreciated the most. Sure, it's always absolutely amazing going out and doing things with you but he loved these quiet moments when you both just had each other.

There's no one bothering him about things he needed to get finished, no dance practice, no music, no thinking.

Jisung loves what he does but sometimes he likes to switch off too and he can't argue that his members are a huge help, they've been with him through his hardest times but it was different with you.

He hadn't realised how much he craved it, how much he would miss it, until he met you.

You just came into his life in full force. If left him confused, scared, but in the end you completed him. You completed him in ways no one else could.

After a long day, it was late at night when Jisung really got to enjoy you all to himself, no distractions, just the two of you. And yes, he did have an early start tomorrow, would spend the day running on 3 hours of sleep but god were you worth it.

"Ji?"

Jisung hums softly, letting you know that he could hear you and was listening.

"How was your day?"

"My day? It was fine, I was in the studio with Channie hyung and Changbin hyung for most of it. But how was yours? Tell me all about it, yeah?"

You go into detail about your day, knowing Jisung wanted to hear every little bit that happened.

Jisung listens to every word you speak because to him, they were all important. Your entire being was so important and Jisung sometimes feels bad that he can't be there for you as much as he'd like.

So he uses these moments, he stores them away. Every little detail has a little pocket inside his brain that he stores away for when the time comes to use them again. A new restaurant here you mentioned once, or a co-worker you mentioned you didn't like. Every word you say means something to him.

"And what else baby?" Jisung pulls you in closer, gently guiding your head to his chest.

His undivided attention is always on you. Every time you open your mouth, Jisung is there to listen. He wants you to know that he cares, he cares so much for you that sometimes it seems untrue.

But his feelings for you could never be more genuine.

"Baby?" You snuggle in closer to him.

You're his person.

You will forever be his person if you'd let him.

The one he turns to when he's getting overwhelmed with life.

The one who knows what he's feeling without him ever needing to say a word.

You get him.

"Sleepy?" Jisung whispers. He feels you nod your hear against his chest. You were still telling him about your day but your words were starting to slur and it was honestly the most adorable thing Jisung had ever seen.

To be fair, everything you do Jisung thinks is cute.

Jisung can no longer hear you voice, instead all he hears is your breathing. Placing a kiss on your forehead, Jisung wraps the blankets around the two of you tighter, before closing his own eyes.

He loved you so much more than he's ever loved anything else. And Jisung hopes that you will never forget that.

Lee Felix

“Movie night!” You say as you jump onto the couch next to Felix. 

Felix laughs as he wraps his arm around your waist. 

“I’ve been looking forward to this since we started to plan it.” You say as you lay your head on his shoulder. 

“Me too love, I’ve very much been waiting for this day.” Felix replies back. 

You and Felix had both been very busy that past few weeks so one night while you both were laying in bed you discussed spending some time together. 

You both made sure that you would have tonight to just spend with each other, no distractions, no work, no nothing, just the two of you. 

You had decided on doing a movie night, earlier on today you had gone out to get some snacks for the two of you to eat and had everything set up so that when Felix returned home, all he had to do was shower and get changed into some comfortable clothing. 

Which is exactly where the both of you were right now. 

“So, should I start the first movie?” You reach forward as Felix nods his head to start the first movie. You both had previously picked out some movies you wanted to watch so that it would make things easier for you now. You had the movies lined up that you wanted to watch and all you had to do was play them. 

After the first movie is finished you both decide to get some food, deciding on ordering some takeout. You start the second movie as you wait for the food to arrive and when it does Felix hops up as you pause the movie. 

“I’ll grab it love.”

You smile at Felix and nod your head, waiting for him to return with the food and when he does you wiggle slightly in your seat with excitement causing Felix to laugh. 

“You’re so cute, baby.” Felix says as he dumps the food on the table in front of you both. 

“Says you, the cutest thing to ever exist.” 

“Thing? So I’m a ‘thing’ now?” 

You roll your eyes with a smile on your face, “oh you know what I mean.” 

“No, I don’t think I do.” 

You look over at him with a raised brow before turning towards the food. But before you could grab anything, Felix grabs your wrist. 

“Ignoring me now huh?” 

You still don’t look towards him, biting down on your lip to stop from smiling. You feel Felix’s fingers wander down to your waist and your head snaps towards him. 

“Don’t you dare-” your words are cut off by Felix tickling you, knocking you on your back as he hovers over you. 

You’re overcome with giggles as you try to fight Felix off you. 

“Lixie!” You plead. 

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” Felix says with a smirk on his face. 

“Stop! Please!” You say between giggles. 

“Hmm, I guess I’ve punished you enough.” Felix says as he stops what he’s doing before leaning down to place a kiss on your lips. You wrap your arms around his neck and once you’ve broken free from your kiss, he pulls you back up so that you’re sitting. 

“Let me get you your food.” Felix breaks away from you as he reaches into the bags of food in front of you both. “I’m sure you’re hungry.” 

“I am very hungry.” 

“I know, I can hear your stomach.” Felik pokes at your stomach causing you to squeal before handing you your food. 

“Thanks Lixie.” 

“No worries at all babe. Now let's eat and watch our movie.” 

About 2 movies later, Felix looks over to find you asleep on his shoulder. You’ve got a bowl of popcorn on your lap and some hanging in your hair. 

A fond smile makes its way to his face as he looks down at you, picking the popcorn out of your hair and grabbing the bowl off your lap, placing it on the table. 

God he was so in love with you that it hurt sometimes, but he wouldn’t ever replace this feeling with anything in this entire world. 

Kim Seungmin

Seungmin had said he would be home at about 8, you told him that you would wait up for him.

It's now just before 10 and he's still not home. You had texted him and was slightly worried. The logical part of you just assumed that practice went later than expected and he was held back, not able to go on his phone. The other part of you worried that something had happened to him.

It was not long after 10 that you received a call, expecting it to be Seungmin you rushed to your phone, only to see that it wasn't Seungmin calling you but Jeongin

"Jeongin? What's up?" You ask as you answer the phone.

"Y/n, I um...I'm sorry if I woke you."

"No, you're fine. I was up waiting for Seungmin. He said he would be home around 8 and it's 10 so I'm assuming that practice went late?"

"I..I don't. Seungmin he.."

"Jeongin? What happened? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, no yeah I'm alright, it's just that..."

You could hear Jeongin's voice start to break and you can tell that he's on the verge of tears.

"Hey, why don't you give the phone to one of your hyungs, yeah? Are they there with you?"

"Yeah."

"Alright let me speak with one of them okay?"

The line goes quiet before a new voice speaks.

"Y/n..."

"Jisung? What happened?"

"It's Seungmin."

You feel your heart drop into your stomach. "What happened Ji?"

"He..I don't know what happened, it all happened so fast. But he just, I don't know, he just collapsed at practice. He had such a high fever so we just rushed him into the hospital. We haven't heard much, but we know he's still not awake."

"Where are you?"

Jisung tells you the hospital they were at and you quickly say goodbye before hanging up. You don't even throw on a jacket, just grab your shoes, your wallet and keys then leave the house.

Following behind a manager who had come to collect you, you walked down a corridor were you spotted the rest of Stray Kids and ran over to them.

"What happened?" You ask panicking as you look around at the members.

“We were practising and Seugmin just collapsed, so we rushed him straight to the hospital. All we’ve heard so far was that he was severely dehydrated.” Chan explains. 

You bring a hand up to your face as you feel tears well in your eyes, you feel a hand on your shoulder before you’re pulled into someone's arms. You look up to see Jeongin and notice that he’s also got tears in his eyes. 

“It’s okay,” you whisper to him as you wipe his tears away. “He’ll be alright.” 

“I don’t know, I just-I feel like I should have noticed it you know?” Jeongin squeezes his eyes shut. 

“No, we are not doing this.” 

“Doing what?” 

“The blame game, none of this is anyone's fault you hear me? Seungmin would hate to hear you blame yourself like this, okay?” 

Jeongin nods his head and tries to smile, giving up half way when he realises it was too difficult. 

“Has anyone eaten?” You look around at the boys and watch as they all shake their heads. 

“Okay, I’m gonna…I’ll go and get you all some food alright?” You say. 

“No, it’s okay Y/n, you don’t have to.” Chan shakes his head. 

“Really it’s fine, you all need to eat.” 

“But-” 

“Please Chan,” you close your eyes and take a shaky breath before continuing, “let me do this okay?” 

Chan grasps your hand and softly nods his head, “okay.” 

While you’re out getting food for the boys you receive a text message from Chan who explained that he doctor had been there to see them and gave you a bit of an update on Seungmin. Basically he had been neglecting his own needs and overworked himself, explaining why he had fainted. The doctors wished to keep Seungmin overnight but said that it was nothing serious, he just needed some fluids and a good rest. 

“Okay, so I got a bunch of things, I probably went a bit overboard but I’m sure you all will eat it anyway.” You say as you walk into the room the boys were in with Seungmin, holding bags of food. 

Minho and Changbin rush over to you and take the bags from you, you smile at them before your eyes catch Seungmin’s. 

You watch as the boys all dig into their food before walking over to Seungmin’s bedside. 

“Before you say anything,” Seungmin says, grabbing your hand, “I’m alright.” 

You bite your lip as you stare down at him, Seungmin reaches up and with his finger pulls your lip out from your teeth. “Y/n?” 

“Yeah?” You grasp his hand tighter. 

“Lay with me?” 

You don’t say anything but instead lay with Seungmin on his hospital bed, sure it wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world but it was what you both needed at that very moment so neither of you really cared. 

You feel Seungmin’s hands playing with your hair and you grip onto him tighter with your hands, it felt as if you let go, Seungmin would disappear from you and you weren’t going to let that happen, not yet. 

It isn’t until Seungmin feels your grip go lack that he looks down at you and sees you sound asleep on his chest. Seungmin places a kiss on your forehead before leaning his head on yours. 

“Hyung?” Seungmin calls out, getting the attention of everyone in the room, even Jeongin who wasn’t Seungmin’s hyung. 

“Yeah?” Chan is the one to speak. 

“I know you all have to leave soon.” Seungmin says. 

“Yeah we do,” Chan nods his head. 

“But we’ll be back first thing tomorrow.” Jeongin exclaims. 

“Yeah I’m sure you will be, but I just want you all to do something for me yeah?” Seungmin asks. 

“Of course Seung, anything.” Chan leans forward in his seat, encouraging Seungmin to speak. 

“Her,” Seungmin gestures down to you with his head. “Take her home with you please, don’t let her go back to her place. She can stay in my room but I don’t want her to be alone for the night. I can’t imagine receiving that call when I was in the hospital. It must not have been easy for her.” 

“Of course Seung, we’ll take care of her, but you should worry more about yourself at this moment, okay? Getting better yourself.” Chan says. 

Seungmin shakes his head, looks down at you. “I could tell you that I would but that would be a lie. My priority will always be her. She does so much for me and it always feels like I never have any time for her and I hate it. Don’t get me wrong I love being an idol, I love you all and I love Stay but sometimes I think about the days when we’re older and it’s just the two of us that’s left, no more work, no more anything, just us.” 

“I’m going to marry her.” Seungmin looks up at the rest, “this is just the beginning for the both of us.” 

“I don’t think any of us has ever doubted that.” Jeongin gently nudges Seungmin from where he was sitting beside him. 

Chan stands up and gestures to the mess from the dinner, “well we should clean this up and head on home to get some rest, I have a feeling we’ll be back bright and early so some rest for all of us will do some good.” 

The kids all start to pack up as Seungmin gets to waking you up and enough everyone has left the room and you’re standing by the door. 

“I love you.” You say. 

“I love you too.” 

You blow a kiss to Seungmin who reaches out to grab it, pulling it towards his heart where he lays his hand. 

“We’ll be back before you know it, as soon as we’re allowed back in, I’m going to be waiting right outside this door.” You say, a determined look on your face. 

Seungmin smiles at you as you blow him one more kiss before disappearing behind the door, “I know you will.” 

Yang Jeongin

Jeongin tried to be as quiet as possible, shutting the door behind him with care and slipping his shoes off silently. Tiptoeing into the hall, he frowns when he hears the tv playing, he’d hoped you would be asleep by now, not waiting up for him. 

Dumping his stuff on the kitchen table, Jeongin walks into the lounge. Jeongin pauses in his steps when he sees you, a sleepy smile makes its way onto his face as he rounds the couch. Sitting on the ground by the couch, Jeongin reaches forward and brushes a few strands of hair out of your face before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on your forehead. 

You’d obviously fallen asleep with the tv on, a blanket wrapped tight around you and there were snacks on the table in front of the couch. He could tell, from the look of things, that you had not meant to fall asleep and that makes Jeongin smile even more. God were you adorable. 

Standing up, Jeongin turns around and turns the tv off, looking back at you once again before picking up the leftover snacks and taking them into the kitchen. Once he’s disposed of the snacks, Jeongin heads into the bathroom where he gets himself ready for bed. Showering off the day's work away, doing his skincare before getting changed into some sweats and an old tshirt. 

Jeongin walks back out into the kitchen where he opens up the fridge, food from the dinner you had cooked in there and he takes them out, heating them up. He tries to be as quiet as possible as he sits down at the table to eat, not wanting to wake you up just yet. 

As he scrolls through his phone, Jeongin eats the food you made and it isn’t long until he’s eaten it all and he’s washing away his dirty dishes. 

Once he’s finished there, Jeongin then walks back into the lounge and over to you, who still sleeping. Bending down so that he’s level with you, Jeongin very gently rubs his hand along your cheek. 

“Baby,” he whispers a few times, watching as your eyes slowly flutter open. 

“Jeongin?” You sleepily ask while rubbing your eyes. 

“Yeah babe, it’s me,” Jeongin smiles as he helps you sit up. 

“What time is it?” 

“A little after 11.”

“Oh, I was watching a movie, didn’t realise I would fall asleep.” 

“It’s alright babe, let’s head to bed now yeah?” Jeongin holds his hand out. 

“Wait, have you eaten yet?”

“Yeah, I ate and showered, let you sleep so that when I woke you up we could go to bed together.” 

You smile up at him as you grab his hand and he pulls you up. Following behind Jeongin as he leads you into your bedroom, you flop onto your bed under the covers as soon as you reach the room. 

“Sleepy baby?” Jeongin laughs quietly as he watches you snuggle under the covers, only your head peeking out. 

“Mhm, ‘m sleepy.” You mumble out, your eyes falling shut. 

Jeongin climbs on to the other side of the bed and pulls you into him, laying your head on his chest as your legs tangled together under the sheets. 

“Did you have a good day?” Your voice is muffled but he understands what you’re trying to say. 

“Yeah baby, I did, did you?” Jeongin traces invisible lines on your back and he feels you nod your head against his chest. “That’s good.” 

It’s not too long after that Jeongin feels you relax completely against him, no longer conscious of the world around you and it makes him pull you in tighter as he plants a kiss on your head. “I love you.” He whispers before closing his eyes himself, letting sleep overtake him. 

[soaps-mohawk]

So...

I've been doing some thinking about a couple of things.

This blog has grown considerably, even from its start and I appreciate each and every one of you so much. Your support never ceases to amaze me and I owe all of you a lot for giving me something to focus on this year instead of spiraling into insanity.

But

Things have gotten a tad bit overwhelming recently between trying to run the blog and trying to write. I find myself either having to ignore the blog to get writing done, or sacrifice writing time and energy to spend time on the blog and keep up with all the replies/reblogs/asks etc. Definitely not complaining, you all never cease to amaze me.

But, I am just one person and my brain only has so much power right now. So, I'm planning to take some (more) time off each week right now while I focus on writing and planning since we're getting into some serious plot stuff soon. So I'm planning to be on the blog three days a week for a while: Saturday, Sunday, and Thursday. That gives me some time to get some writing done as well as some time to rest my brain.

Saturday and Sunday of course to post the chapter and respond to replies and reblogs so I don't get super behind. Monday I'll have some asks queued up as well as maybe a few reblogs. I'll still use the queue Tuesday and Wednesday for reblogs/asks with spoilers as usual. Thursday I'll be on the blog answering asks from Monday - Wednesday as well as things I get that day. I'll queue up a few things for Friday since that day gives me a little break between to prepare for the weekend and posting the chapter.

I'll probably add more days as time goes on. You can still send in asks on the days I'm gone, but just know I won't see them or respond to them until later in the week. I already get behind by a couple days on asks anyway so that's not much of a change.

Don't feel bad for sending them either, I love getting all these asks, I just tend to get behind on days I spend more time writing.

The second order of business

has to do with my taglist. Most of you probably haven't noticed (which I don't blame you lol) but my taglist has gotten very big. Very, very big. It's just over 230 people right now, and I'm sure there will be others asking to join. It's quite time consuming to do all of these tags for every chapter (especially since we can't tag in blocks anymore) so I've been doing some thinking into how I can make it easier for me, and for you.

I know there's at least one blog I've heard of, though I'm sure there's more, that have made side blogs that they have people follow and turn on notifications for and just make a post on that blog when they post a chapter or fic, etc. I've been considering doing that since the taglist is a lot of work and time.

I've also seen blogs that have side blogs that just post chapters/fics and nothing else. I know quite a few of you only follow for the fic, so if anyone is interested, I could put together a side blog like that as well that you can follow and get notifications from instead of having to follow this blog and having to go through the probably 100 posts that I make a day 😂 (at least it feels that way for me)

Having a separate blog for the taglist too would allow me to schedule posts so I can have them come out a bit earlier than I get up for those of you across the world who stay up to read and have to wait for me to post in the morning when I get up (or later like today because I slept in). Of course Ao3 will get posted later because I can't schedule posts there, but at least for Tumblr I can have things post earlier.

So let me know what you think about the taglist side blog and the possible just chapters/fics side blog. Feel free to send in asks (anonymously or not) with your opinion. I might not answer them all (not tonight because my brain is fried and honestly i'm not sure if this is even comprehensible English) but I will at least use them to make the decision (or make a post with all of them and answer it as just one).

[stromblessed]

Mizu's spectacles, and the levels of her disguise

In drafting some more Blue Eye Samurai meta posts, I find myself writing out the comparisons between what Mizu can and cannot hide about herself, and how that affects how she moves through the world.

Like, I get the jokes about Mizu's glasses, if only color contacts had existed back then, etc. etc., and I think (hope) that most viewers don't take the glasses jokes seriously, as in "I don't care about the suspension of disbelief because BES is a cartoon." But I wanted to write these thoughts out anyway without burying them in a text post about something else.

I think the points I'm going to lay out here are viewed very differently by different people, so please feel free to add to this post, reply, or put your thoughts in the tags!

Not only do Mizu's glasses not actually help her that much, there's surely more to Mizu's mixed race appearance than just the color of her eyes.

In my view, this was pointed out in episode 1:

I'm willing to bet most of us were expecting young Taigen to say "blue eyes," not "ROUND eyes."

Obviously this is still about Mizu's eyes, but not even spectacles can hide their shape.

I don't think the show is obligated to point out everything about Mizu's face that isn't quite as Japanese as the people around her expect. Though the creators have said that they specifically designed Mizu - and her clothes - to read both as "white" and as "Japanese," as well as both male and female. I think there's more about Mizu's features that read as "white" than just her eyes.

This is where my own headcanons start entering the picture, but it's my impression that people can just tell that Mizu looks different, whether or not they can put a finger on exactly how.

There's the little girl who looks at Mizu and then hides on the way into Kyoto:

When there's more to your face you'd like to cover up than just your eyes, big hats are a big help!

By the way, most of these examples have to come from the first half of the season, since by the second half, either Mizu is too preoccupied with fighting henchmen, or everyone Mizu is facing knows who she is already, and she therefore has no reason to hide her mixed race identity.

It's worth mentioning that the mere fact that Mizu has to hide multiple aspects of her identity - her mixed race and her sex - results in her having to choose clothes that really, really cover her up, which doesn't win her any favors either:

(Zatoichi reference, anyone?)

If it were as easy as, for example, tying her glasses to her head and wa-lah, nobody would ever know she was half-white - then (1) Mizu would've just done that long ago, and (2) Mizu wouldn't be so on guard and on tenterhooks 100% of the time the way she's depicted in the show, even when her glasses are on.

Her spectacles sure don't help her in the brothel, which is full of observant women who are trying to seduce her, meaning they get good long looks at her:

Mizu never takes her glasses off, but they still send a woman to her who has light eyes, thinking that must be what will interest a blue-eyed man:

No wonder Mizu gets mad after this, lol

So Mizu never takes her spectacles off in the brothel, it's dimly lit inside, and the women can still tell that she has blue eyes. I'm getting the sense that Mizu putting on her spectacles isn't a guarantee that people suddenly can't tell that she looks different.

And yet no one spots that she's female.

Mizu can hide her breasts, can wear her hair in the right style, can hide what's between her legs, can walk and talk and behave like a man - and she's been doing it for almost her entire life, to the point that not only is she very good at it, but the threat of being found out as female is deadly, but isn't presented in the show as omnipresent.

Let me explain.

She threatens Ringo for nearly saying the word "girl" out loud, because while she's constantly ostracized for being mixed race, being a woman traveling without a chaperone, carrying a sword, and disguised as a man will get her killed or flogged or arrested or some combination of these things.

But in addition, it's been drilled into her since she was a child that if she is discovered as female, the combination of her being mixed race and female will identify her as someone extremely specific, someone known to some bad people, and she will be killed:

I think of it as Mizu thinking to herself, "Being found out as mixed race means I'm treated badly. Being found out as mixed race and a woman means I'm dead."

Mizu's hair is cut as a child. But she isn't made to wear a big hat, or cover her eyes somehow, or anything like that. Because hiding her sex is a more successful endeavor than hiding her race.

Ringo finds out she's female by accident, but once Mizu accepts the fact that he won't rat her out, she relaxes pretty early on in the season. Because the threat of being found out as female is mitigated pretty much 99.9%, since Mizu has gotten so good at being a man. And also, because most of the time, people see what they want to see. Even if Mizu's face makes her stand out as "not 100% Japanese," no one in the world of BES looks at Mizu's clothes, her bearing, her sword, hears her voice, and will ever in a million years conclude that she is a woman, because expectations around gender roles in the Edo period were so rigid and so widely enforced.

One detail that proved this to me is after the Four Fangs fight:

Ringo takes off Mizu's clothes so he can stitch her up, then leaves her clothes off even after he's done. He doesn't even throw her cloak over her as a blanket or anything. There's a little a straw (pallet?) as a divider there on the left, but anyone could just peek around it and see Mizu and her chest bindings. (I think it's mostly there as a windbreaker.)

And Taigen is right there, but he doesn't give a shit:

Opinions probably vary hugely on this, but my impression is that because the show doesn't make any kind of deal about Taigen being in the room with Mizu here, my guess is that Mizu isn't in any danger of Taigen thinking she's female. Even when I watched the show for the first time, I assumed that Taigen had seen Mizu out of her clothes here, and that he thought nothing of it.

Eat your heart out, Li Shang (Mulan 1998). I actually do think that this scene is a direct and purposeful side-eye to that movie, lol

There's obviously some nuance to how "severe" being mixed race is compared to how "severe" being a woman is for Mizu:

After all, Swordfather can't bear to listen to Mizu confess to being a woman.

So a Japanese man can go wherever he wants, whenever he wants in BES. A Japanese woman has limited options: marriage, religion, or a brothel. A mixed-race man is an eyesore in this story. A mixed-race woman is a death sentence.

May as well eliminate the female aspect, and do what you can about the mixed-race aspect. Because that's just realistic.

Meaning Mizu can avoid the strictures Edo society places on women. But she can't avoid the repercussions that come with being mixed race. And I truly don't think that it's just because "there's no brown contacts yet."

[turtleybeachin]

The Boys Trying to Help with a Menstrual Cycle

Has this been done? Sure. Am I writing it anyway at 2:30am with a mug of mulled wine? Hell yes I am.

(content warning: discussion of menstrual cycle products. MC has a menstrual cycle and vagina but no gender assigned. involves demon men being pretty oblivious but honestly not worse than human cis men.) *edited, thank you to the anon who pointed out my mistake. ♥

Mammon's the one texting to ask "yo human what size is. ... hey what size your ... ... ya know. ... how big is your ... ... it's cool no matter what size ya know all sizes are great you're perfect no judgement just. .... small medium or large????"

Satan is like "You can't ask a person what size their vagina is you moron." He's read enough about the issue at hand to know these are flow levels not vagina sizes anyway. Still not sure which to get though. Buys one of everything better safe than sorry.

Lucifer rolls his eyes confidently picks up the most expensive package of regular pads and regular tampons. Looks like he knows what he's doing. Is 100% faking it.

Beelzebub's worried about the flavor of the tampons. Won't lemon be unpleasant when they're already in pain? Those look like probably key-lime pie which sounds good. He'll buy two packs, one to sample on the way home. (he's distressed to report they don't taste like anything the colors are lies.)

Asmodeus goes straight for whatever has been popping up the most ads or getting the most discussion on DevilGram. Only the cutest and trendiest for his favorite human!!! Also gets you some cute underwear gotta dress up your time of the month~

Leviathan's just having a complete panic attack feels like other people are staring and judging him THESE AREN'T FOR ME, THEY'RE FOR MY-- errr, I mean, not my r-really, but... m-maybe sorta my-- OH MY DIAVOLO I'M BEING SUCH A NORMIE I'M BUYING PADS FOR SOMEONE THIS IS LIKE IN THAT ONE ANIME--

(Don't worry, after a text from them cheering him on and thanking him for being the perfect Lord of Shadows to their Henry he Demons Up and buys five of everything because DAMN STRAIGHT HE'S TAKING CARE OF HIS HENRY BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.)

Belphegor just picked up the squishiest package and that's what they're getting. If these don't work for them, at least it'll be a decent pillow in a pinch.

Bonus:

Solomon is the one competent man in the whole gaggle. He actually knows what menstrual flows are and whether MC prefers pads or tampons, because he asked, because he knows these things. Is the only one to actually know what he's buying.

Diavolo has Barbatos send them a year's supply of absolutely every menstrual product either of them could find anywhere in both the Devildom and Human Realm. Congratulations on the storage facility now in their name that has two lifetimes' worth of menstrual supplies.

Simeon just asks. That's it that's the whole shtick. He just asks specifically which they need and admits he doesn't know much about these products but is willing to learn. He'll text them photos from the store but also offer to go somewhere else if none of that looks right.

[vrmxlho]

hii kira !! do u have any hcs for sae abt how he would be as a bf?

SAE ITOSHI 糸師冴

if sae were a love trope he would 100% be belated love epiphany

"i never realised how much i loved them until they were gone." type beat yk

like pride and prejudice, except he's elizabeth and you're darcy ??

where you confess first and he rejects you but once you're not near him he realises that he really did love you

or when he saw how loaded you were, you be the judge (kidding)

y'all already know i think he's a good cook. like he was in spain for ages you bet he picked a few things up. cuz idk about spanish men but ik most italian men know how to cook and well.

he pours all his love into everything he makes, probably his love language honestly.

but he'd never let you know he's cooking for you because he cares

"you look like a ghost have you been eating properly?" "oh, no. unfortunately, i haven't found much time to cook lately..." "how bothersome. am i gonna have to take you all the way to the hospital when you faint from anemia?" "but i'm not even anemic..." "you will be if you don't eat your spinach." "..." "you know what. since you're so incapable i'll just cook for you." "excuse me??"

forgive him, he's just a bit of a cunt, but he loves you i promise

(also if you didn't know fun fact: preparing a homemade meal for someone is akin to confessing your feelings to them)

he's not much for PDA in fact in public he has his same, stupid, emotionless, deadpan face that is so punchable (affectionately?)

but when you're at home he'll find any excuse to lean his whole bodyweight on you

he also loves leaning in to kiss you and then reaching behind you to grab something or whatever, just to leave you flushed and stressed the fuck out

annoying asshole

he also gets very touchy when tired, if you're sleeping next to each other he tends to end up hugging you close to his heart by the time you wake up

he may not seem it but he would genuinely do anything for you

he tends to ignore most messages/texts/emails unless they're super important but he'd reply to you the second you text him

or even if it's a silly tweet

@you: there are 2 many ppl at this café 😞 @officialsaeitoshi: send me your location i got you your usual @you: ayo, how did you have it prepared n everything 😭 @officialsaeitoshi: spidey senses

he also has the most deadpan, sarcastic humour known to man

he's horrible (just my type)

nothing that comes out of his mouth is to be trusted

beware!!!

he is the no.1 gossiper alive, he knows everything about everyone's business even if he looks like the type of person who'd never think of anyone other than himself

somehow he's both at the same time

he could go hours talking about this random guy in his club who's actually the secret son of a drug lord and who ran away from home to save himself from imminent death...

what???? how does he know this?

i'm pretty sure he doesn't know either, anyway

he loves his lil self care night routines

you both sitting on the sofa talking about life (actually it's just him talking and you listening but whatever)

sae itoshi was an evening person. not because he felt most productive then. and not because he enjoyed the peace and quiet of the city. but because he enjoyed his night routines with you right next to him every second. you'd sit on the sink sill as he gently passed a finger with clay on it over your face as you kept talking about your day. "and then when i went to get coffee there were just so many people at the café it was such a hassle. this guy–" "shush. do you want clay in your mouth?" he kept swiping the remaining clay mask on your now stationary chin. once done he lifted you and walked to the sofa. this was no new routine. this was the only way he was able to unwind. with you next to him, just talking about the little, almost meaningless things. "i read somewhere that your coach is having an affair is that true?" you didn't know why you kept instigating him. it was late and you knew if he began talking now he'd only finish once the sun rose or your wake up alarm rang. but seeing him so animated was a rarity so you had to take advantage anytime you could.

now for how he confessed

at first when you confessed he rejected you and didn't think much of it at all

until he started noticing the little things about you, he started obsessing with every bit of you

how you looked, how you dress, how you style your hair

but also how your under eyes crease when you smile

how you're very picky with your food, especially dessert, but you'd eat anything if someone handmade it for you

how you're so patient when you tutor even if the person is being a dumbfuck

after obsessing over everything you did for about a day or two he was sick of the weird, nauseating feeling in his stomach

it had been about three days since the confession. being rejected right on the spot, especially in that cold manner was painful to say the least. but you were sure you had gotten over it. and you hoped with all your heart that he too had forgotten. he had just stood there as you finished telling him how he made you feel and how you had liked him for a while now. he had a horrible scowl on his face, arms crossed and an uninterested posture. you already knew what the answer was when you were done but it hurt so much more when he finally confirmed it all. so it was surprising when you saw sae march up to you as you ate your lunch with your friends. he had the same horrible scowl on his face from before. and you could feel your stomach drop as he pulled your wrist in a gruff manner. careless. he didn't care for you. "itoshi what are you–" he finally stopped once you were in a quiet corner behind the main building, away from curious eyes. "we need to talk." "about what?" "i couldn't sleep." "ok..?" "i couldn't stop thinking about you." "oh. i'm sorry if my confession made you uncomfortable. i didn't mean for it to bother you so much." "yes. it's so bothersome. now every time i see you with anyone but me, it hurts. i can't stand hearing about anyone but me, from you. i don't want you to think of anyone but me."

and then you were just like 😧🫣😏🤩

if you think rin's dramatic just WAIT until you talk to sae he's insane

THE BIGGEST drama queen (i hate him)

although i do think he is secure about himself and knows you wouldn't ever hurt him

i feel like he does have abandonment issues (a bit)

like imagine going through your teen years without family in a foreign country, you'd feel isolated no matter how many friends you made or how nice your host family was

he tries not giving any external reaction so you barely notice at first but every time he sees you with someone, looking a bit too friendly, he always feels his heart tighten

he's very gentle when kissing you

it's not like he's super strong or anything (mans is tiny)

and it's not that he's scared to hurt you, he just doesn't wanna appear too possessive or anything

favourite places to kiss you: why do i wanna say your waist, also knuckles

no idea why i just feel like if he weren't allowed to kiss your lips for any reason he would kiss there

but he definitely needed you to initiate the physical contact when you first started dating

speaking of which

dates with sae

100% movie nights, or just staying at home in general

mans hates going out if it's unnecessary

although, if you want anything he'd do it for you in an instant

or when he's feeling extra energetic

he'll take you dancing; this can either be ballroom dancing (which makes you cringe a bit but it's fun), salsa or literally just clubbing

i think he secretly loves clubbing at techno clubs (is that what they're called?) he hates commercial music cuz it just gets so repetitive

ideal vacation destination: somewhere isolated

like a random island in greece

or some forest in south america

idk man

he absolutely hates tourist destinations, tourists are his no.1 worst enemy

that's why you always end up going on holiday at random times of the year

"hey love, take a few days off next week. we're going to bora–bora." "it's the middle of march..." "not in bora–bora." "that's not how it works..." "i've already bought the tickets and spoken to your boss so you really just have to start packing."

now about pet names

he generally doesn't like them and thinks they're cringe and annoying

which they can be if used excessively ig

he tends to call you by a nickname or just your name

he only uses pet names when he wants something or has something to tell you that he knows you'll be angry/annoyed about

like the fact he planned a whole trip to bora–bora in middle of march and didn't tell you a thing 😞

however, if you're open about how much you hate him doing things without involving you he will change his ways

he's a quick learner after all ❤️‍🔥

[momentomori24]

Keiji is a character that I'm pretty sure every one of us can recognize is an absolute weirdo (ok maybe some are too hard on copium for the "weirdo" part) and sketchy as hell, but thinking about everything he's done it really feels like he's so much shady and ruthless than we give him credit for. So here's me bulletpointing some the moments that I haven't seen too many talk about, a little theory throwing his status into question and addressing the massive elephant in the room that almost everyone refuses to acknowledge. If there's something else you feel I missed or wanted to evaluate on, do leave it in the comments.

[Also, disclaimer: I will be discussing Keiji and Sara in a romantic light near the end of this post, so if that makes you uncomfortable please proceed with caution or skip entirely. This should go without saying but for my own sake I will say it anyway-- No, I do not condone their relationship in real life. No, this is not meant to be "shippy" or endorsement of any kind. This will simply be pointing out their dynamic as another example to prove the whole point of this rant. But if someone else does ship them that's totally fine. Fiction doesn't equal reality and if you harass a real person over fictional characters you will not see the light of heaven. Be civil, please and thank you. My block button is rated E for Everyone and if anyone decides to ignore the warnings and be an asshole I won't hesitate to use it. Thanks for listening. Disclaimer over.]

*Being a murderer.

I feel like I should start with the most obvious and undeniable. I don't think this is debatable to anyone here. Mr. Policeman may have been an accident and kinda confirmed by Midori to have been set up, but he still shot and killed an unarmed man in a moment of panic and recklessness. Even putting that aside, there's no denying that he killed Megumi in cold blood to get out of his debt to her and covered it up to the group to preserve his credibility. Regardless of what you think of Megumi, he has no excuse here. Not only is he one more kill away from being a serial killer, he's the only participant in our group that has actually killed people directly aside from Alice. Another reason why I bring this up is cuz something that completely flew over my head is this:

At the start of the game he had the audacity to complain about not having a partner or someone he knows with him like Sara does as if he didn't literally let Megumi get ripped apart by chains probably not even an hour ago Keiji what the hell--

*Throwing Kanna under the bus repeatedly.

Despite positioning himself as a protector and someone to rely on, he's far from above putting their youngest members in danger. Next to voting for the fourteen year old girl to die, he had the great idea of letting said fourteen year old be the one to babysit their biggest liability. Up to the point where they would stay in the same room both day and night. While I absolutely 100% trust that Sou would never EVER do anything to her, Keiji had no guarantee of that when he send her off. Hell, he literally just got done accusing Sou of setting Joe up to die (which I don't believe almost solely based on the fact that he said it, more on that another time maybe). He knew Sou was bad news, and openly acknowledges how adults can be terrifying, but he did it anyway. The dubiety of throwing the already traumatised little girl to keep watch on what they thought to be the most dangerous adult that had manipulated her once before is not lost on me, and that he didn't take any responsibility for her afterwards isn't lost on me either. To be fair, the Sou and Kanna thing doesn't just fall on him, it falls on everybody (Alice gets a pass because he actually swapped out with Kanna to watch Sou for her), but he was the one with the final say on the matter and who encouraged her to take the role despite Reko's rightful protests. The fact that he also voted for her to die in the Main Game, and is the only adult to do so, doesn’t help his case.

*Attempting to frame Sou knowing Reko was actually responsible.

While you could argue he was trying to cover for her since he knew why she did what she did, trying to pin this act on Sou to cast more doubt on his is extremely shitty. Never mind the blatant corruption and the irony of a supposed man of the law abusing his power to knowingly frame an innocent person (in this situation at least), and him sowing more seeds of confusion and resentment within an already rattled group, and giving Sou legitimate reason to be suspicious of him (and by extension Sara)-- this makes it so difficult to trust him after realising he's done this. Literally every time he accuses someone of being or doing something suspicious (mostly Sou), I always have to think in the back of my head if he’s telling the truth or just telling a blatant lie. He's shown that he's willing to not only lie to cover for himself, but to lie to delegitimize someone else. And Sara never caught onto it (Sou and maybe even Nao likely did tho). She never openly acknowledged it-- No one did. The complete lack of mention of what he did here makes this action quite missable. Hell, I didn't even catch it the first time. Has he done this before? Who else has he lied about? Who else would he lie about? Who else would he knowingly pit against the group? You don't have to wait for that answer, because I will provide an example later. And with "later", I mean now.

*Casting suspicion on Gin before the vote while hiding the fact that he killed Megumi.

While it's not as blatant as with Kanna, there are two instances where Keiji shows a readiness to either put or leave Gin in harm's way. The biggest one for me is in the Main Game. Like, how dare you. That is a furry child, sir. This kid’s like TWELVE. Even though he makes a valid point about calling out suspicious actions to clear them up so we can all trust each other, casting doubt on Gin of all people right there feels pretty screwed to me. This was before the preliminary vote. His words could’ve very well gotten Gin voted for if he couldn’t disclose why he did what he did for whatever reason and therefore being unable to clear himself from suspicion. It’s even more fucked when you realise that Keiji has literally murdered his partner and is currently planning to get Sou killed while giving this whole spiel about doubting others so that we can believe them and pointing the finger at a little kid to make an example to the group. But when Nao, Sou and Sara call him out on his suspicious actions that could rightfully damage his credibility, he tries to shut them down completely. My brother in Christ, you brought it on FIRST (don’t get me wrong I’m very much aware he didn’t really mean the whole “trusting each other” bit but come on dude)--

Speaking about not meaning what he says:

*Letting the group think he’s Ok to vote for knowing he’s the Keymaster.

This kinda got to me because I thought this was Keiji actually being… vulnerable? Accepting the consequences of his actions and allowing them to vote for him in their distrust without protest even tho it could cost him his life, maybe. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I can’t remember a lot of times-- or any times, really-- where Keiji has willing put himself into the line of fire, at this point at least. He always finds a way to keep himself safe, give himself insurance, and I thought that this would be the one time he doesn’t do that. But this feels so ominous looking back knowing that he was the Keymaster the whole time. That our distrust and betrayal and his resignation to it all didn’t matter because he was going to be safe no matter what. That he knowingly allowed us to assume that he was a safe vote because he didn’t want his plan to kill Sou to be ruined, which narrowed down choice of people we can safely vote for even further. That this action is ultimately the reason why Sou and Kanna were our only options to kill off in the end. If he had admitted it there, we could’ve found someone else to vote for so our final options could consist of three people, not two. But he didn’t, and the rest is history. There’s a lot of things he’s done I can’t get over. This one ranks pretty high. The second Main Game is already a huge sore spot for me for obvious reasons; knowing that a lot of the things that happened were due to his inaction where it truly mattered and activity in all the wrong places doesn’t make me fee any better. He didn't say he was a safe vote-- he didn't lie-- but his words carefully omit that voting for him means a total party death, something he should've stated then (and before this, really).

*Leaving Sara with the sacrifice card.

Despite making a big show about “always being by her side” and being her “reliable policeman”, he chose to look away when she was in real danger. He attached himself to her as her right hand man, made her shoulder the responsibility of being the leader, constantly manipulated and flattered her to win her trust and gain her favour-- but when she needed him the most, he basically left her for dead because it was the most beneficial to him. Keep in mind that not only did he know about her getting the sacrifice (he was also the sage so he'd have seen the trade happen), but he had the tokens to help her get rid of it. But those tokens weren’t for her life. They were for his. He used them instead to give himself the Keymaster as insurance for the Main Game (the Keymaster he stole from Sou/Kanna most likely to buy Sara’s trust btw). His desperation for survival outweighed his sense of obligation to keep her safe, and that’s the most subtle yet transparent he’s been about his selfishness. What makes this so much worse is that Keiji is our support character. He’s an ally, and our closest one at that, to the point where Sara burned her hands in a futile attempt to rescue him and signed her life away to save his. And yet his loyalty and protectiveness pale in comparison to other characters. Compare his actions to Sou’s: one of their many parallels and similarities is that both their girls get hit with the sacrifice card. As we’ve established, Keiji was fully aware of Sara being send the sacrifice by Sou, had 50 tokens ready to go and chose to secure his own survival than save her life. Kanna ended up doing it instead, attempting to trade the card off Sara with Sou realising what happened immediately. And what does Sou do? Completely bend over backwards trying to keep her alive. He lied about being the Sacrifice so the others wouldn’t suspect Kanna of having that role, meaning he could try gathering vote for her without anyone seeing his true intentions. He tried to stop her about coming out with the truth of what she had done so she doesn’t sentence herself to death. After everything he did to survive-- after how much he lied, how much he schemed, how much he hurt, and how he had thrown himself away to replace everything that made him Shin with the man that had traumatised him years before the game began to scrape together even the tiniest chance to survive-- he threw it all to the wind and was willing to let it all be in vain if it meant she got to make it out of the Main Game alive. The worst part is that Sou had never intended to make it through that Main Game. He confessed to already knowing that Kanna would choose Sara over him if she truly had the Sacrifice card. Yet he still did what he did all in the hopes that she could win. Because it was all about her survival first, not about them surviving together.

It also gives a different context to Sou's panic and him stumbling over his words trying to come up with any argument to get them to stop. At first I thought that Sou was afraid for his life. Which would make sense-- Keiji and Q-taro set him up to die and seemed pretty adamant on having everyone voting for him to get it all over with. But he was already prepared to die the minute he realised Kanna traded with Sara. So it means it wasn’t his life he was fearing for here-- it was hers. To him, if they voted for him there, it wouldn’t have just been his end but hers too. But we know that Kanna isn’t the one who has the sacrifice. It’s Nao, and considering how the Main Game can end either or both of them dead, I wonder if he regrets not having given up there, not letting Keiji get away with that shitty stunt he pulled knowing it would’ve at least guaranteed her safety than leave her fate in hands of a girl with enough reason to kill her. Ignoring the sounds of my heart shattering into pieces for the 100th time thinking about the Greenblings, it’s so fascinating that our biggest rival and most distrusted member has a greater sense of loyalty and responsibility for his ally than Keiji has for his own. Sou can be a liar and manipulative and selfish, but for how unpredictable he is something I can always trust is his love for those he holds dear (Kanna) and general desire to protect our most vulnerable (Gin). Sou loves Kanna, and so he’s fine with protecting her even if it comes at a price he never wanted to pay. Keiji surely cares about Sara, but unfortunately that is something I can’t say about him-- at least at that time (also the fact that Sou ended up taking more care and responsibility for Kanna despite Keiji having been the one to throw her on him in the first is so ironic).

*Continuously pushing Sara to take on the role of leader.

I think one of Keiji's biggest failures in the game come from his treatment of Sara despite positioning himself as her most reliable ally and her partner. From the very get-go, he was very adamant of making Sara be the one to shoulder the responsibility of the group. He, along with Joe (he didn't do anything wrong here), pushed Sara to be the Challenger during the Russian Roulette, despite Q-taro and Kai being readily available. He made Sara be the one to interrogate the suspicious convict while distancing himself from the situation. And he encourages her to lead them through the Main Game, lets her make the choices that steer them all forward and as a consequence take the fall for them as well. Rather than take on the role himself, or let another adult take it, he places his full trust in her and makes her shoulder everyone's weight so he doesn't have to. And he can see the effect it has on her: having horrific hallucinations due to the immense guilt she feels. But having Sara as their leader gives him a greater shot at survival and helps his credibility, so even though he tries to provide her comfort he still continues to keep her in that role. Again, the high schooler taking responsibility for the adults falls on a lot of the older people here, but Keiji was the one who kickstarted it rather than just go along with it like everyone else had. Gin, Nao, Kanna, Reko and even fucking Sou to an extent all have moments where they take the burden off her and relieve her of that pain she shoulders all the time (or at least try to). I need Keiji to take more responsibility for both the group and for her.

*Pitting Sara and Joe against each other.

This is just another example of the previous point. This isn't as bad, and I could give him the benefit of the doubt that this might have not been intentional, but it's something I want to bring up regardless. I'll be the first to say that Keiji wasn't wrong here. Prying into everyone's votes is a very bad move, especially since no one knew that Mishima would actually die (it was introduced as a practice round, after all). I agree with him, Joe was being rash, but instead of leaving the conversation there, he decided to throw Sara into it to pick a side. Which is... not good. He already won the argument and already had Reko on his side. Bringing in Sara could not only make Joe feel worse and potentially strain their relationship (especially if she rightfully chooses Keiji's side like he was expecting and hoping for), but just puts Sara in the spotlight during something she doesn't want to be part of. While there's a chance he might've done this because he know Joe is more likely to listen to her than him, he should've known better than that. It again makes her take the responsibility of giving the final verdict that would've otherwise gone to him.

*Asking Sara to take responsibility for his life

I've got nothing other that the grown adult swearing his life to the grieving, unstable teenager to take responsibility for while asking her if she'd die along with him is weird as heck. Keiji's said weirder things prior to this, but this one is a different weird. I think Beanieman's post mostly echoes my thoughts on this on, so I'll link it here for this point. This part kinda bothers me:

He shouldn't be encouraging her taking on anymore responsibility than she already is. He knows that the deaths that happened under her leadership haunt her. He knows that she's very much unstable enough already, to the point where he takes baby-steps to avoid triggering her trauma over Joe. He positioned himself as her reliable partner, her rock to lean on (quite literally sometimes). We see first hand how emotionally dependent she is on him. If he died, it would destroy her-- she'd destroy herself over it. He knows this (or should) but he still does it. His disappointment and dismissiveness when she understandably rejects him makes it worse. The guilt of potentially not living up to his expectations is not what she needs.

*Potentially working for Asunaro

This is more ambiguous than everything else here and more a theory than anything but it's been on my mind for a long time that Ranmaru might actually be onto something here. We know that Asunaro has a strong hold on the police. Midori was able to infiltrate the force, and they were able to get rid of Mr. Policeman for looking into the corruption going on, first having Megumi fire him and secondly getting Keiji to kill him by planting false info about the suspect having a gun. Megumi was also able to get Keiji off the hook for murder, which I believe Asunaro had a hand in too (I theorize this might've been her wish). There's also Alice, who was arrested and sent to prison despite the fact that he (legally) didn't kill anyone since Midori was a doll. The police are connected to Asunaro-- by extension Megumi and extending further potentially Keiji.

Something I've seen someone rightfully point out is that neither of the options you're given to say in response to the accusation... actually deny it? Both choices dance around answering directly, which is suspect as fuck. If Keiji truly wasn't with Asunaro, why not shut that theory down immediately? There's no benefit to answering anything but "no" when he's innocent, and he's lied straight to people's faces for less. So why not just debunk it? I think it's cuz there might be some truth to what Ranmaru was saying here. The biggest reason I think this is because despite the fact that Keiji quit the force, he and Megumi were still associating with each other years later. They were kidnapped together and partnered up for their first trial. One missable piece of dialogue is Keiji admitting that he was with his partner-- or rather a "coworker"-- before getting knocked out.

That slip of the tongue and backtracking makes me believe this part to be true. Him switching from "my partner" to "a coworker", which is a lot more distant and impersonal, makes me think it's got to be Megumi. However, I don't believe that Keiji would wanna keep in touch with her after what happened willingly, so I can only imagine that it's due to that debt he has to her. My little game theory here is that after the shooting, the debt he owed her was a forced recruitment into Asunaro. It's the only thing I can imagine he meant by "the worst kind of debt", a debt he'd literally let her die for to get out of. And if this is true, then it could also explain away his instant attachment to Sara, since he'd know beforehand that she's someone he can depend on due to her having the highest chance at survival. Maybe he already knew about her beforehand, one way or the other. We know Hayasaka did (which I think we as a fandom moved on from way too fast btw). Kai and Sou did too. There's always a chance. And unlike Sou's victory rate and Midori's favourite number, it's not zero. One person made a comic about this idea I recommend checking it out, it's tastefully unsettling. But still very much unsetling and uncomfortale. Be warned that it's also Keisara-centred, so if that makes you even more uncomfortable they did the job right you can ignore it. Proceed with caution or don't read if you don't like.

*Being a predator

I have been waiting so long for this one XD For context: a while ago I made a longpost discussing the sanitisation of soushin and this kind of toxic attitudes in fandoms regarding "problematic content" (ships, characters, shows, you name it). In it, I mentioned that it's not only soushin that receives this treatment but a certain other dynamic too. It's not a rainy day, however this has been way overdue and if I don't get this done now I never will.

Something I've seen a lot, and I mean a LOT-LOT is this notion that Keiji acts "like a father" to Sara and that their relationship is a completely platonic father-daughter bond and that he's the resident dad of the group? Like, it's cute, but that's not at all what their relationship is. At all. Not even a little bit. We called Sou and Kanna siblings before the Greenblings reveal. The difference is that not only does half the fandom think this man is gay, but he's only ever been protective and caring and loving without any romantic intentions towards Kanna ever. His title as her brother was deserved, based on the genuine affection and platonic protectiveness similar to that of Alice's. Keiji has made advances tho, on many occasions, and his flirting is repeatedly acknowledged by other characters. Namely Sou and Reko.

(Sou grills him for being a creep every chance he gets I love him XD) But yeah, these are not the type of reactions and comments you receive when being a "father-figure" to the teenager. You get all this when you hit on the teenager. Which he does all the time by calling her "cute" every time she asks something and his "cute little detective", swearing himself to her by saying that "he's always on her side" or something like that, asking her if she'd die alongside him, repeatedly claiming or insinuating that they're on a date, or ""having a moment"" and going to ""take the next step"" when in private (*cough* groomer *cough*)-- you name it, he likely said it. He's a walking-talking ladykiller machine and teenage girls aren't safe, apparently.

(Quick note: The dialogue for the Russian Roulette one is a tad different now. In the new translation he says "cause you're so darn cute" now. I dunno if that makes it sound any less weird, but I felt like putting that out there. What I'm also putting out there is that according to the trivia he calls her cute 8 times throughout the game so. Yeah. *Cough* groomer *COUGH COUGH*)

Like, who tf says this?? Especially that last part 💀 Even if you wanna die on the hill that these are supposed to be "jokes" not to be taken seriously, we should all be able to agree that the (ex)police officer in his late 20s jokingly hitting on the high schooler he follows around is still weirdo behaviour at best and down right despicable at worst. The fandom seeing lowkey predatory/inappropriate behaviour from a figure of authority persistent for almost three entire chapters and dismissing it as "fatherly" and "platonic" is, well, concerning. It's very concerning. If your dad acts like Keiji, you should probably call the police. Unfortunately for Sara, Keiji is the police. And considering this guy got away with manslaughter, I don't think said police would do anything anywho. But yeah-- he uses flattery and flirting to distract her from prodding to much at him while simultaneously aiming to gain favour in her eyes. He showers her with reassurance of his loyalty and affirmation of his deeper attachment towards her and her alone every chance he gets to cement his position as her closest and most trustworthy ally. He insinuates a romantic partnership between them to others to mostly keep her to himself or the two of them alone (he always does that when they're investigating or going to investigate by themselves). There's such an obvious romantic undertone to their relationship and his actions that it going almost completely ignored in the fandom feels weird to me.

I want to make clear that there's nothing wrong with headcanoning Keiji as a father figure to Sara. It's cute. Keiji didn't have a dad himself, and the closest thing to a father figure he had was the man he shot dead. He's a damaged and hardened guy. But Sara's dad is involved with Asunaro and Gin's is an alcoholic, and in a situation where they both need guidence and protection he tries his best to grow and change, fumbling to become that decent father none of them got to have. It's nice, and a wholesome dynamic for our "characters with memorandum counterparts and only non-determined deaths" trio. But that's obviously not what their dynamic is. There's a difference between headcanoning something and erasing canon and the Yttd fandom leans heavily into the latter. Keiji's a creep, he always has been, yet 90% of people I see always portray him as a Mr. Dad Guy or completely sanitise him to hell when him being creepy and unnerving to be around is what made him such a fascinating character. Just like I said with Soushin, the sanitisation to make canon more digestible is one thing: harassing or insulting the people that explore canon is another. I'm gonna take a bullet, derail this rant and say it-- Keisara shippers get so much shit for literally being right it's so infuriating. Keiji does hit on Sara, a lot. He's creepy and weird like that. Him flirting with her isn't a "mistranslation" or a joke or anything like that; his dubious wording and antics are very much intentional. Yet the only people I see actually addressing and acknowledging that without adding fluff is keisara shippers and other ""proshippers"" only for them to get fucking sniped for it I cannot 💀💀 I have yet to meet a single eastern fan who calls this cop "fatherly". This really feels like such a western issue cuz the majority of the japanese fandom agrees that this man's a predator (correct me if i'm wrong but keisara is the most popular ship in the japanese side of the fandom, right?). Then again, eastern fandoms are more chill over there when it comes to separating fiction and reality in general anywho.

*Yeah, I think I'm done with the Keiji slander. Yay. Time to unceremoniously end this.

There's more to say about that, but this is a Keiji post, not another shipping discourse post (although it's hard discussing Keiji's predatory behaviour without bringing it up too). Before I do spiral from the original point, I'm going to try and reach some sort of conclusion here. While I did spent the majority of this post just reading Keiji to filth, and am very salty towards him in particular, this was not just to rake him through mud for my own sanity (tho it's part of it XD). Keiji's character is that he started off as someone who wanted to do the right thing, someone who wanted to be good and moral and protect others by joining the force only to kill all the progress he made along with the person who inspired him to become an officer in the first place. It heavily contrasts the Keiji we have now, a sleazy, unreliable and corrupt ex detective who flirts with underage girls and is willing to resort to the most bankrupt of decisions to save himself. A man that has long lost hope of his wounds healing that he lets them fester and his rot spread onto others. And while I headcanon Keiji to just inherently be a piece of shit, his former self tried his best to be genuinely good before he became so convinced he can never be better that he made peace with his shittiness in the end.

With all this I wanted to highlight some the shadier and bankrupt things he's done that I haven't seen much discussion around and refresh myself on them before the final part. Both so no matter how emotionally dependent and therefore rose-tinted Sara is about the man I don't forget what he's actually like and what he's done while also being able to appreciate how much he's changed for the better. Some of my favourite examples about how he's changed are these:

Before the second Main Game Keiji was willing to let Sara and Kanna die because it was the most beneficial option for him, but in Chapter 3 he takes the on the role of "it" from Kanna and refuses to tag Sara when he thought he was gonna die after failing to beat Midori.

Actually showing more sympathy towards Sou after the Main Game. He was very mean about dismantling his pretence of a cold front to Kanna's death, don't get me wrong, but he showed a lot more consideration and understanding for Sou's feelings and acknowledgement about his active role in it than he ever had beforehand.

He was genuinely fighting for everyone to survive the game, not just himself. While Keiji would prefer everyone making it out safely, he has a tendency to guarantee his own survival first through any means necessary. His plan to corner Midori in the banquet could've cost him his life if it weren't for Q-taro's final stunt, yet he still reassured Sara to save Gin even tho it could've resulted in his execution from Meister potentially finding him guilty of violating the rules.

Him hugging Mai and trying to be more cheerful was cute as heck. I'm sorry but him showing more vulnerability around his allies and being less closed off in a way he hasn't been before is something I'm very head empty about. That he was hugging and interacting with Mai without making any unwanted advances or ladykiller jokes and generally just having a more friendly vibe was nice. It makes his creeping on Sara more unfortunate, but I'll take what I can for now. The bar is in hell.

And that's it, I think. Overall, I hope they do address some of his actions here in the final part or make them have an impact on his and Sara's relationship. Especially that Asunaro part. The person who wished for Sara to join the death game is still unknown and so is Keiji's consent form wish (same goes for the Dummies, Hinako and Megumi), so I'm curious if they're related or not. If he's going to go down an even darker path or redeem himself as much as he can we'll see when the final part drops. He has the potential to go both ways. This is going to be kinda awkward if the next part reveals him to have been a decent guy all along, so hopefully that doesn't happen. Please be morally bankrupt, man. This post didn't end up the way I wanted it to, nor bring up as many points as I would've liked, but I know I won't finish it if I went full perfectionist on it (I already spent months on this writer's block do be a bitch) and it's looking kinda long already. Hopefully it's still decent enough as is right now. I'd like to say that this is my apology for the last longpost I made, but I brought up one of the most controversial and hated ships and traits of Keiji's character and defended them, so maybe I shouldn't 🙃 Anywho, hope you enjoyed and cheerio.

[sacchiri]

I recently bought the jp volumes of Hellsing along with the guidebook, and since I'm reading the series in its native language for the first time I might as well share some random things that stood out to me in no particular order.

This isn't meant to be an analysis of translation differences, I'm too lazy for that. Also it's been 12 years since I've watched the anime and read the low quality fan scans of the manga so some of these comments are just "Lol, forgot this was a thing"

Volume 1

... I really want to know who this guy is at the beginning, yelling at Alucard in overly familiar language to "Get your shit together!" and "You're the only one we can count on!!". We know from the style of speech that it's a dude, probably just some Hellsing rando, and maybe it's not all that strange since he has probably been working with the same soldiers for years--but it's still funny.

"I know, it's just so nice out :("

..The way "HELLSING Organization" is spelled out like this reminds me that apparently the name is supposed to be an acronym. No really.

...

God they're so silly.

Now that I think about it, the only thing Seras has done this chapter since being turned into a vampire is say "I'm sorry" over and over.... girl you got shot in the lung, why are you apologizing

Not a huge difference, but what Integra actually says here is "Leaving a corpse here for 20 years... You're a terrible person too, Father" and not "What were you thinking, Father?" as the Dark Horse translation suggests (note the lack of question mark in the raw version). I thought that might be of interest to some.

Something else I thought was interesting is the first line Alucard ever says to Integra, and how uncharacteristically polite he sounds.

O-kega wa gozaimasenka- That's two honorific 御's back to back! (He even said them in kanji, even Walter isn’t that straightlaced and he’s literally the butler.) This is also the only time Alucard uses this overly flowery gentlemanly language with her, and good thing too because it would be so annoying if he spent the whole manga ending his sentences with ~gozaimasu.

What I'm trying to get at is, after seeing this sentence in the Japanese version, I'm like 100% sure he actually heard her when she was mumbling to herself about hoping to find a knight in shining armor, and he was totally going the extra mile in playing into that role for their first encounter. Which is kind of sweet.

Lol they misspelled Alucard on the top left... or rather, they incorrectly spelled it right?

One would normally expect Alucard to be written アルカード, and indeed pixiv dict lists アーカード as a misspelling (the u sound is weak in Japanese, so it's easy to mishear arukādo as ākādo). Hirano was definitely aware of the correct spelling though, since he used it in the pilot chapter and in his old character sheets. It was only when the manga officially began that he switched to the アーカード spelling. I doubt it was because of copyright issues because there is already a long precedent of vampire characters named アルカード in various old manga, OVA, and games in Japan that have coexisted without issue (like this guy Hirano mentions in volume 1's afterword).

Most likely Hirano simply thought it looked better, or was a means of differentiating his character from the others somehow. It certainly makes life easier for Japanese fans searching for fanart since アーカード is only going to bring up Hellsing and not the Castlevania character.

Jan Valentine even pokes fun at the spelling discrepancy later in volume 2, but since there wasn't a good way of expressing this in English it was left untranslated.

(Speaking of spelling inconsistencies, there's a lot of minor details I'm noticing now, like half the time the furigana for 吸血鬼 is written バンパイア and the other half it's ヴァンパイア... anyway)

Um, just noticed literally everyone's wearing glasses What should I do

Hirano's habit of jotting random comments underneath his panels is one of the underrated perks of reading the manga

The Dark Horse translation almost makes it sound like she's looking forward to seeing this battle play out, while in the Japanese she simply sounds apprehensive. Almost as if she's worried about them? And she's going out on the field personally to make sure nothing bad happens? Aww

Ok this is a weird tangent, but I just noticed the scans of the Dark Horse version I've been looking at use a slightly larger image range than the Japanese version does. It was only noticeable when I got to this part:

The second image is what the Japanese version of the scan looks like and I can confirm that this is what it looks like in my physical volume as well. You shouldn't be seeing the messy borders of the inking on the bottom like that.

Manga manuscripts are set up so that there are a few millimeters of bleed border around each page. You're supposed to color and line all the way up to (4) while keeping in mind that printing and paper cutting may result in the image being trimmed up to (3).

Either Hirano didn't color his lines all the way to (4) (this man has been drawing manga for years but this is Hirano we're talking about so it's very possible), or Dark Horse didn't honor the original bleed borders of the manuscript. I'm kind of leaning towards the former since there was a Hellsing exhibit in Japan a few years back where you could look at Hirano's original manuscripts and there's one where you can clearly see that he spilled a mug of tea or coffee across the entire page

Anyway, it's weird, and I'm curious to see if someone that owns a physical copy in English can confirm whether theirs actually looks like that. It's volume 1, page 141.

[lit3rallyll0yd]

Hello, may I please request scenarios of Ranpo, Chuuya and Dazai caring for a fem!reader who constantly has headaches?

taking care of a female s/o who has headaches

ranpo, chuuya, and dazai<3

warnings: lowrcase writing

a/n: tried a new style!! idk if i'll keep, or change this one!! thank you for the request anon<3

RANPO EDOGAWA 🔎

"do you have a fever?"

"no.."

"are you sure?"

you grumbled, piling up all your finished paperwork handed down to you. ranpo cocked his head to the side upon hearing your grumbles.

"i'm just...stressed..."

oh, he already knew.

the moment you walked through the doors of the agency. the bright lights of the building caused you to sink into your jacket, however the moment you took it off, you had tp cover your eyes with the sleeve of your dress shirt.

ranpo watched you pull the chair from your desk and sit, your head resting against your arms.

it was quiet until he spoke, "pretty sure kunikida has some advil somewhere around his desk, you know him. always perpaired for anything."

your boyfriend started to rumage through kunikida's desk. luckily the perfeconist wasn't here to scold him, however he will 100% notice someone has looked through his belongings.

eh, he'll just go off on dazai.

"ranpo- no- don't take kunikida's stuff- that's rude. especially if he doesn't-" "found it!"

you frowned, giving up with trying to reason with your childish boyfriend.

with a hop, and a skip he stood in front of you, digging out a pill and held it in the palm of his hand in front of you.

"take it!"

you stared at the pill,

"with what water?"

ranpo's eyebrow furrowed, looking around your desk then by your purse at your feet. he dug through it, much to your liking, and whipped out a bottle of water and placed it and the pill in front of you.

you take the pill, rubbing your head after you did. ranpo pats your head, "rest. no one should be coming into this room, unless they need papers or folders, it should be pretty quiet."

"what about you?"

he shrugged, "i'll stay here. i go nothing better to do anyway, i'm bored. hand me your phone."

you too tired to defend, so you handed your phone to your boyfriend laid your head on your arms.

ranpo just chilled at the desk beside your own, and just played minecraft on your phone waiting for you to wake up.

he'll take proper care of you when you both get home<3

CHUUYA NAKAHARA 🍷

"babe, take the advil.." he wasn't done with you, however he as growing quite tired of your childsish behavoir. you've had a fever for three days now, and you have not been getting any better then you told him you'd be.

he would be at work whilst your home sick in bed, lying to him you've been getting better the more you sleep. "it hurts to swallow!" you complained, gently slapping his hand away.

"it will help you!" he reasoned, however you were still stubborn. hiding under the covers of your shared bed and heard chuuya sigh. the wight in the bed changed from heavy to light as you felt him step off.

"where are you-"

"you obviously don't want my help. so i'm going to go out and get dinner. you still need to eat something, or else you'll never get better. feel free to take whatever medience you want, just don't overdose too many.." he whispered the last part, grabbing his coat and left the bedroom.

you were still facing the window of your room. it suddenly got so quiet, the only sound you could hear was the ceiling fan and your short breathing.

your headaches haven't gone away in the past hour your boyfriend has left to get dinner. must've been a busy night wherever he was going.

you've fallen asleep a couple of times, squriming in your bed because of your aching head. finally, you sat up from the covers and stepped gently out of bed and toward the bathroom.

in there, you took out a bottle of advil and poured one pill out and into the palm of your hand. with the cup of already clean water in it, thanks chuuya, and swallowed it.

your face cringed as you swallowed the pill and wiped your mouth with your sleeve PJ top. you slipped back into bed walking out of the bathroom and into your bedroom and once your head laid on the pillow, you fell alseep.

an hour later, the door to your bedrioom opened. "babe, i'm home. sorry i'm-" the ginger immdeiatly stopped on his words seeing your sleeping figure on the bed. the covers were around you and you looked like a cacoon.

he sighed happily, walking into the bathroom and noticed the advil bottle opened.

walking out, he kissed your temple gently and left the room, leaving you to your peaceful slumber.

OSAMU DAZAI 🩹

"daaazai..." you whined out, leaning on the mountain of pillows that had surrounded you on the couch of your shared apartment with dazai. your boyfriend for 1 year.

"yes, my sweet belladonna?~"

his voice. god it made you melt. was heard through the bathroom you two also shared in your small, but cozy, apartment.

"another!" you coughed, rubbing your temples as you turned down the volume on the television.

dazai walked out if the bathroom with a hot wet towel in his hands.

"already? this is the forth time you asked me this hour!" he exclaimed playfully, sitting down with you and motioned you to lean your head on his lap.

with no question you laid your head on his thighs and whined. "i know, but it feels good when you do it..." he whispered, closing your eyes.

with a hum, he started t gently comb his fingers gently through your hair after moving your bangs to place the wet towel on your forehead.

"are you feeling any better?"

dazai asked in a hushed voice after a couple of minutes of just silently stroking your hair.

you hummed in response, curling deeper into yourself and attempted to over the fuzzy blanket over you. you smiled warmly feeling dazai aid you and flop the blanket over you like a child.

he leaned down as kissed your temple, taking out his book and started to read before stating, "get well soon, bella~ i'll be here with you until you do."

[cator99]

The conversation went like this: general pleasantries followed by her being like I'm so relieved you reached out to me because I really just want to have a more positive relationship with all of you guys and I know how annoying it is when a landlord isn't able to deal with things in a timely manner I get it I'm a renter too... i get the sense that, just as i had over-prepared for the conversation, she had over-prepared to apologize for the fact that the basement bathroom has a recurring leak issues that get patched up and then continue to cause issues meanwhile she's literally going through a divorce and has to keep postponing because she wants to be there when the repair dudes come to make sure they're doing their job properly but she has a big trial coming up and had to put it off by another week, it's really no big deal tbh... I assured her that she's been doing a fantastic job at staying on top of things and communicating with us oh my fucking god okay new girl is banging that fugly creepy white boy she keeps bringing over so god damn loud l cant wait for her to gtfo anyways yeah so we basically just spent 10 minutes getting on the same page like we good we good she just wants to make sure that everyone is chill in the house and we had a really good talk about what we all want from this but TLDR once we got down to business it went like this:

Me: Pins Girl is the problem

Her: omg slay I fucking hate her please go on

Me: yaaaas she fucking sucks here's some tea sis....

Her: ok work so I'm not crazy for being like maddd uncomfortable around her like one time this thing happened...

Me: omg lol no seriously she's vile here's another wild example related to your anecdote....

Her: no way bestie she did that to me too. Just 0 to 100 in an instant I didnt even know what to do just being accused of every -ism under the sun

Me: yeah no that's just kind of how things go with her you cant get so much as an innocent Hello in without her immediately labeling it a hostile attack

Her: yas okay good riddance so what's the deal with this new girl she's her friend should I be concerned

Me: oh girl.......... so, no not really she's a sweetheart and also– thank god– fully employed. Absolutelyyy messy as hell tho so that's one of my biggest concerns. I think it would be best if you didn't add her to the lease no shade but she's really not a great fit since we're all older and chill and clean af

Her: ...and the rest of the concerns? Oh my god do you think [PG] will try to move back in if we decline her friend???

Me: no wayy she wants OUT out she's already got a new place lined up and her shit in boxes at the door waiting to be hauled off forever

Her: omg like. Far? Like is she moving far? Please tell me she's moving sooo far

Me: yes lmao dont even worry I dont know the exacts but it's nowhere even near here

Her: okay slayyyyy thank you for being dope as hell it's such a relief that this crazy person is gone so we can all just chilllll

Me: okay so about that

Her: ohhh no

Me: yes so you already know what we're dealing with. You know how she deemed me unworthy of being on speaking terms with her? I didn't mind that at all and really just kept tf to myself. Then suddenly she moves in this friend of hers and I just assumed this was done with some sort of approval from you, because that would be the normal thing to do.

Her: okay that's kind of wack, do you guys not like get a vote on these sorts of things

Me: I stayed out of it plus like I'm really not gonna start questioning her and risk putting myself in the line of fire and everyone is pretty much in that position as well

Her: omg no fr...

Me: so like I just kept to myself and my work without thinking about it... then I find out she was living here totally off the record when PG sent that email requesting that she be added to the lease. That's when the conversation opened up. And listen this new girl is super young super naive didnt realize that she was even doing anything wrong and then suddenly everyone's totally freaking out and realizing that this goes against the lease agreement and that if you find out, our ability to live here is jeopardized. She got us into hot water and then just... left us to deal with the consequences.

Her: she's still legally bound by the lease until it changes so if anything goes wrong she wont be escaping accountability no matter how many -isms she throws at me. I want this to work for all of us and we got this trust thang between us and I wouldn't evict you guys omg evictions are seriously sooo annoying and *most* of you have been great tenants especially (names everyone except for the unemployed ftm) they're all super chill and mature and we've had great conversations so yeah I'm just glad she's gone

Me: incredible yaas I love honesty. She has been actively impeding our ability to have a productive working relationship with you and each other it's so crazy

Her: literallyyyy😁🥂🔥yipeee

Me: yippee yaaaaay yay 😇☝️💯

Her: okay so my game plan is to interview the new girl irl like no zoom bs I really wanna read her vibes and decide if this is worth it... I'll give her a chance but if that doesn't work out... I mean... tee hee..... the yearly house inspection is coming up...

Me: ok that's so dope. She's gonna be moving upstairs once PG vacates so its gonna be pretty hard to hide the fact someone's right there even just doing a quick walk-through

Her: yeah so if things don't go well and I decide against putting her on the lease and they still don't admit to having her there then at least I can talk to them about it when the inspection happens and be chill about it and pretend like I totally had no idea. We can work something out as long as everything is good you know what I mean... okay if you need anything at all dont even hesitate to give me a call

Me: absolutely and if I have any updates I'll let you know ASAP, lmk if you need anything srsly I dont want to cause you any more stress like from what i understand you've had a stressful enough year

Her: yes good lord i have, thank you for being considerate..... seriously it's been hellish and this conversation has been such a relief

etc etc obviously the conversation was longer and more thorough but you get the gist. She's awesome. We hung up and I skipped my way to the grocery store

[oneatlatime]

The Tales of Ba Sing Se PART 1

Once upon a time in Ba Sing Se, the Gaang got Appa back. The end. Please?

This title sounds rather expositiony, but last episode was already a plot/exposition dump, and a rather dark one at that. So who knows? Not me.

Sokka hun I think you're supposed to shave with a blade slightly less substantial than that.

I am fascinated by the hair loopies. I always thought that they were braided in, but they clip in. Does she have a magnet in her braid that they clip in to? A lego type system?

CAT

Toph's morning routine is uncomfortably close to mine.

I know Toph likes being slobby to stick it to the man, but wouldn't it also help with her spatial awareness if she's always sporting a healthy coating of earth? Maybe she can sense where her limbs are better or something?

"Spa day!" "Do I have to?" UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE GUYS.

That has got to be torture. How would you like a pumice stone to the eyeballs?

Now THAT'S a healthy coating of earth.

You're not usually into that stuff? You got dolled up last episode.

Are there voice acting awards? Because whoever voiced these guys needs one. I have never in my life heard such perfectly distilled middle school clique bitch impression.

That's cathartic.

Katara's smothering/mothering tendencies usually annoy me, but it's a good thing those means girls happened when Katara was around, because this calls for serious hugs. I almost want to say that it's out of character to see Toph not be 100% sure of herself, but I think it adds character instead.

Do you think anyone's ever told Toph before that she's really pretty? Ever?

That's a good hug.

Is this short stories? Like an anthology? TALES of Ba Sing Se. Like day in the life? Ok. I'm going to break this up for ease of reading/writing.

The Tale of Iroh

If Iroh hadn't distinguished himself by making the best tea in the city, he would have come to everyone's attention anyway by single handedly fixing everyone's personal problems.

Bending soccer. Why didn't I think of that?

His voice is funny in this scene. Also isn't honour a fire nation thing?

One of my absolute favourite things about Iroh is that his philosophical side is always balanced out by a practical side. He's always philosophising but he's also always grounded. Sometimes hightailing it is what needs doing. Sometimes your sister is crazy and needs to go down.

You know you're bad at crime when your poor stance actually offends the guy you're mugging.

I also like how Iroh really doesn't moralise. He'll teach this guy what conditions the moonflower likes; he'll teach this guy how to mug better. Knowledge is for sharing, no judgment attached!

Random mugger speedruns Zuko's arc.

So pretty. It's been a while since there's been good pretty.

oh shit

ok

Now I have questions!

The Tale of Aang

Writers take note: You see this sad face? You see what you've done to my boy? You can reverse it with one simple trick! GIVE HIM APPA BACK.

I love this. Can't help Appa, so Aang helps every other animal in Ba Sing Se instead.

I want to know what this is. Monkey panther?

I didn't realise until now how tall platypus bears were.

CABBAGE GUY! HI!

Actual dragonflies. Punny.

I love these. My nomination for cutest atla animal.

I hope that wasn't required agricultural land. Should have put the zoo near the drill instead. That land already looked close to salted.

This was some Toph level bending. Love to see Aang's skills progress.

Turtle seal's got competition for cutest animal.

Just call this portion the petting zoo and it's a win.

The Tale of Sokka

Something I don't talk about enough is Sokka's supernatural skill with that boomerang. The realistic explanation is that he's spent every spare minute since receiving it honing his skills by chucking it at random piles of snow, but I like to think he's a boomerang bender. Actually wouldn't boomerang bending be a manifestation of latent airbending tendencies?

I make this face at lasagne.

I may have to make another Sokka's Stupid Faces post.

There is nothing oaflike about falling out of a window and into a Haiku. He was even polite about it!

Somebody introduce Sokka to flyting.

Forget about being a warrior, Aang needs to end this war yesterday so that Sokka can go be a poet. Warrior poet. He's way too creative to waste on cannon fodder.

Poetry bouncer. The longer I think about that the funnier it gets.

Betrayed by hubris.

A Poetry bouncer. Who comes up with this stuff? How do you come up with that? I keep thinking about a poetry bouncer and I keep giggling.

I'm breaking this post here as I'm reaching the image limit. Part 2 coming immediately!

[zuzsenpai]

Full story (so far) of the work project from hell that's lost me vacation time, lost me sleep and hair, caused a number of panic attacks, and literally gave me my period when I'm not supposed to have periods and haven't had one in a year and a half.

I'll put it under a cut because I'm sure most of you don't want to read all this shit. I just wanted to vent and get it out.

So around the beginning of September, a video project request came into our office. The way it was explained to us by the project coordinator in marketing (who I will call "Sam"), was that it was going to be a TV spot as part of a big campaign that the CEO is requesting. The topic is letting people know that our healthcare network has a zillion awards for all 15 of our hospitals, compared to the other healthcare network in our area (this is a VERY common marketing strategy for us even though it's been proven the public does not give a shit which network has the most awards). It's a very dull "look at us and our awards and stats" video that, again, the public couldn't give a shit about. But the CEO wants it because ego.

We were told the video needed to be produced in two weeks, because the CEO wants to see the campaign ASAP. This means, for my team, that we don't have time to shoot new footage for this campaign. We were given a pretty mediocre script (we do not write the scripts), with directions to get it professionally voiced and to use old footage we've already shot in order to get this done in time.

That's where I became involved. I'm not a videographer (I do the animations and various other things). I know how to edit, and I know how to edit fast. But if this were a piece we had time for (that had a much better script), our video team of FOUR videographers would have handled this. But I got the project because of the bullshit reasons that I "know where all our footage is" and "can edit fast".

This was a week before I was supposed to go on vacation. I was supposed to go on vacation for a week and a half. My manager (who I will call "Betsy") KNEW I was going on vacation, but she still gave me the project. I know I should have given it to the video team and that point, but I didn't. That was my first and biggest mistake.

The higher-ups in marketing took their sweet ass time choosing an ending tagline and creating graphic design elements I could use in my video. I still didn't have them by the end of that week. We had our voiceover guy record half a dozen taglines that were supposed to be chosen from, just so something could be eventually edited in.

I had a draft that didn't include the tagline or graphic design elements ready by the end of the week. Meaning the day before I went on vacation. My second and almost just as big mistake was saying I would work on it over vacation. But honestly, this was for the CEO, and the VP of marketing hadn't approved my raise yet and I am always feeling like I would be the first on the chopping block if we needed to downsize the department. So I wanted to prove myself.

Anyway, while I was on vacation, I kept all the channels open: Teams, Outlook, etc. I had a VERY hard time relaxing because I knew at any moment I'd have to pick this project up. I also have massive burnout and just could not get myself to chill out. Anyway, a couple things happened by Thursday of that week: the tagline was finally chosen, the script changed and a whole 20 seconds was added to the video, and the graphic design elements came in. Keep in mind the project was supposed to have been done in two weeks. Meaning by the literal NEXT DAY. That wasn't happening at this point, so I was given a new deadline of a first draft by the following Wednesday.

I scrambled to coordinate the voiceover guy coming in again even though I couldn't be there. I scrambled even harder to find 20 more seconds of footage while I was over 100 miles away and had incredibly slow access to our video server. In fact, I could barely view or download video at all. I panicked for DAYS trying to get video downloaded, but it was just NOT happening.

I cut my vacation short and got in by Tuesday morning that next week. I had a single day to figure this video out. I was able to manage it by the skin of my teeth. I sent the draft on Wednesday and eventually heard back that Sam, the VP of marketing (who I will call "Ken"), and a few other higher-ups in marketing loved it. Great. The end!

Except the Chief Strategy Officer (Ken's boss), suddenly needed to approve it. I will call him "Ray". So Ray is new at his job and apparently needs to have his fingers in ever single piece of marketing that comes out of the marketing department. This is the opposite of how the old guy who retired used to do it. Ray is also the CEO's son-in-law. So, a Jared Kushner if you will. He's trying to prove himself and in the process, he is micromanaging to the extreme. But also it takes him forever to make decisions. Great combination there, all around.

It takes Ray over a week to even look at the video, during which I start getting other projects with quick deadlines. And when Ray does look at it, he comes back with the unhelpfully vague comments of "it's unsophisticated", "doesn't look like a sleek big city ad" and "is not emotional". So he rejects it and asks for a completely new video to be done, ASAP. Marketing collectively loses their minds in a bad way. The project coordinator (Sam) decides to inform me of this by immediately sending me an email outlining everything that was "wrong" with the video, despite having originally said he loved it. He told me a new one needed to be done and it needed to be done FAST. It needed to look like a polished, high budget, big city ad.

Well that wasn't getting done. I told him this. He didn't care. Ray gets what he wants. Even though Ray did NOT say that's what he wanted from the beginning. Even though I made a good video based on the shitty script I was given. The script that was supposedly approved by Ray himself. The script that had no story, was unemotional, and given an unreasonable deadline to get produced into a video.

This was last Thursday. I had a breakdown in my office, sobbing and hyperventilating. I decided I would finally bring in the video team. I needed one of them to do this. I needed to be done with it. I had 4 other projects with deadlines fast approaching (all of them animations, so I was the only one who could do them). Betsy called an in-person meeting with her, myself, and the 4 videographers.

I was still having a massive panic attack as I tried extremely hard to be normal in that meeting. I tried my best to explain to the team what I needed. The videographers were super angry on my behalf that I was even given the project in the first place, and they were extremely willing to redo the video from the ground up. I was grateful beyond belief. My video was scrapped, which sucks, but I didn't care at that point

A few days later on the following Monday (this past Monday), around 4PM, I was told that Ken decided we were going to go over Ray's head and "just edit the video we already have into a sleek, emotional, big city ad". Using the same script and most of the same footage. Just "make it better". Ken's reasoning was that this video was for the CEO and not Ray. And the CEO wanted it weeks ago.

Because this was an update to the existing video, Betsy informed me that I had to jump back on the project to make the edits. The edits that were a nebulous "make it better". I knew the project already and I can edit quickly. So it's mine again. Again, I had 4 other projects with deadlines of THIS WEEK. I had to send emails apologizing to a few people for not having the projects done.

So I spent Monday evening (at home) and all of Tuesday (yesterday) fucking around with the video. I asked the video team their thoughts on what would make it better and "sleeker", and they came back with things like "no amount of tricks and transitions is going to make that old footage look any better". So, unhelpful as fuck. Sam just kept saying "use tricks from big city ads! Just copy them! make it emotional!"

I did what I could. I found an emotional song, I used some flashy transitions, I slowed down some footage for dramatic effect, and I found a few pieced of stock footage that looked more "polished" than the footage I had. Granted ALL of the footage I originally used was local. It was our hospitals and our doctors and our staff. It just wasn't shot for this video. I tried to keep as much of that local feel in as possible, because I know the CEO likes that. I neglected projects for this. I stressed about this. Couldn't sleep. Got my fucking period after a year and a half on birth control.

I sent out a draft at 3PM yesterday. To Sam and Ken. Didn't hear back, but that's pretty normal (Ken sends work emails at like 10PM). 4:30 rolled around and I got up to leave. Betsy called me into her office as I passed by.

Betsy: I have something I need to tell you.

Me: ?????

Betsy: This morning Ken told me that we farmed your project out to [freelance video production company that we sometimes use].

Me: I'm sorry what.

Betsy: I didn't tell you because I didn't want it to upset you or hurt your feelings.

Me: But... then why did I work the project all day????

Betsy: Because I think we needed to show Ken what we are capable of.

Me: But that's irrelevant. He asked the other company to do it.

Betsy: Yes but I think he really wanted us to do it.

Me: So I sent a draft to Ken after he'd already farmed it out to the other company?

Betsy: Yes. But I sent him an email explaining it.

I didn't know what to say. I was furious. But Betsy is in charge of asking Ken for my raise, so I waited until I got to my car to start crying and screaming. I was in a bad state last night.

Got in this morning to an email from Ken just saying "Please find time to discuss tomorrow afternoon". So essentially a "see me after class". This could go one of three ways.

He could tell me he likes it and here are a few edits (unlikely, though he DID like the original and it's not too different from that?????)

He could tell me it needs a lot of work and changes and I need to do it ASAP (likely and stressful)

He could get mad I wasted my time, which is entirely Betsy's fault (likely and gets Betsy in a load of trouble)

The meeting with him is at 3PM tomorrow. I'm working from home because I need it at this point. I'm so sick of this. I'm so done. I'm even done typing about it right now because I am just so out of steam. I have so many deadlines and I'm so burnt out and I am so exhausted.

[ping-ski]

Hewwo!!! :3 I hope you are having an amazing day, here is a whole plate of cupcakes! Would it be possible for you to share a few lore details about your Eclipsed By You AU story? I keep looking at the designs and I am so curious about what will be happening, I would wish to nibble on tiny lore crumbs, pretty please?

ama!! hihi! ! i meant to answer your ask much sooner! anyways, since you asked so nicely (and because i am pathetically weak to any sweets </3) prepare for some SERIOUS yappage under that cut

✦ AuDHD demands that I explain EBY origins before any details but you can totally skip this if you want! (Scroll till you see blue text! :3) So... Eclipsed By You was intended to be au/fic just for myself after work when I first got into DCA. I literally was pantsing a self-insert fic from just gameplay, voicelines, and a collection of scenarios I wrote in my notes app before I actually interacted with the DCA fandom lol. I was already in the process of writing it to be a proper fic and planned to make an AO3 acc to post it! I took some time away from it tho cause I got busy irl. During my break I did start to interact more the fandom! The first proper DCA fic I read was 'Solar Lunacy' by BamSara a few months back as a recommendation from a mutual I had from another fandom. I had told them about my fic idea and they suggested I read the fic as my fic had reminded them of SL. After reading through, I was kind of bummed initially because I really didn't think I had anything unique to offer with my own fic that I was hoping to share. I stopped writing it cause damn comparison truly is the thief of joy. SL and EBY had similar ideas going on and I just didn't feel like it was worth posting my fic cause it didn't feel "special" to me anymore. It was easy to give up since writing is really not my strong suit at all, so then I fell back to just drawing! I only came back to it despite the 19 other DCA aus I have lined up rn cause honestly I remembered that wrote it for my own enjoyment! Why did that have to change? Albeit, I did scrap lots of what I initially wrote and started fresh cause my interpretation of DCA changed. Regardless, EBY was always going to be a self-indulgent DCA/Reader fic taking place at the Pizza Plex. Sure not anything original, but that's just a fact of being a creative in general tbh. I felt silly when I realized that haha. I'm having fun and they make me smile, so who cares if its been done before lol. I still enjoy Solar Lunacy and still am a fan of BamSara! (the cotl content has been fueling me lmao)

✦ Some bits on Eclipsed By You- The main part of your ask lol! ✿ On the au/fic name: I actually stole it from another au (of the many) I have. No particular reason for it! I was writing EBY and that au around the same time and alternated working on the two throughout the day. That au is now nameless (actually it's nicknamed "Messiah" as I type) cause EBY grew onto me for what it is now! ✿ On DCA's designs: This might be kind of disappointing lol but- there isn't much of a lore/plot reason for their designs? They just look that way cause... why not :3 It's also part of just how I interpret DCA into my artstyle. Otherwise, they can be interpreted as the canon designs early on! Atleast until some future upgrades! ✿ When in SB are we? Everywhere /hj. EBY will have some pre-virus and post-virus stuff just for funsies! I'm dying to yap but if I say anymore I will get carried away 100%. ✿ On EBY!Eclipse: For this au, Eclipse is his own "person" you could say. With his own AI and personality chip to pair! Carefully built to be a dedicated host and theater bot. He is, including Sun and Moon, the entertainment <3. They are a singular animatronic in this fic! (like those 3 in 1 soaps except it's DCA /j) ✿ On EBY!Y/N: (EBY is a reader-insert, but intended to be written as gender neutral and an adult.) Y/N gets their own bit of lore and issues that may or may not be the stress/frustration from my 2 irl jobs thinly veiled lmao. They work part-time at the Plex as a general theater staff member! Each week, their tasks rotating between concessions, being an usher, and working along side the theater bots! (Kind of like a theater tech.) This is a part-time job just to keep them afloat while they work on their last bit of certifications and training to be a caretaker! They are pretty passionate about helping those in need. A sweetheart honestly. Though, if you don't like kids, maybe look away. Wholesome moments with the littles and DCA + Y/N is pretty decent with kids themselves. (Lots of projection from my own experiences working with children and elderly, as a caregiver turned caretaker. I kind of want to highlight some of my experiences with Y/N.) ✿ On EBY!Sun and Moon: These two are goofballs alongside Eclipse through and through. They all get to be sweet, soft, and doting I promise. Originally, before scrapping a good chunk of the og writing, EBY had a beloved sweetheart anxous Sun and aggressive Moon who was kind of an asshole(Before the rewrite, EBY felt so different. Like everyone was just tolerating eachother and fragments being held together with glitter glue n' dreams. I am very very glad it's different now lol.) Eclipse stayed fairly consistent though. Sweet house husband that he is. Now, Sun is just as unhinged as Moon (making him just as much as a threat!), but we will persevere with the power of friendship <3 We're gonna have some aloof Sun moments. He takes his job pretty seriously! Some goofy Moon bits who's giggles are light and airy. He is very unserious I fear. They're both trying their best, in their own ways. There's not much I can say rn without spoiling haha. It's hard to stay vague hrm. Or atleast I can't think of anything specific to add right now. (I may be able to answer some specific questions if you have any, my brain is just foggy rn) ✿ I'm simplifying it down to your "typical pizza plex fic" with pre-virus and post-fire shenanigans. I'm sorry if none of that is telling I can't think of anything specific cause I'm pretty sleepy rn so maybe it's a little boring sounding but I love it anyways haha Expect some canon-typical violence and non-sexual intimacy! I have intentions on writing the relationship between Y/N and DCA ambiguous so it can be seen as queerplatonic or romantic. (But this could very easily changed, I'm a shameless robokisser sigh.)

[armory-rasa]

Bazubands part 1: A LESSON IN HUMILITY 🤣

So one of my projects for the winter break was to make a set of bazubands made for myself -- a middle eastern armor piece that provides all-in-one wrist/forearm/elbow protection, and the easiest way to get the coverage required for SCA fighting. (My garb is viking, but such are the exigencies of modern safety standards, that fighters usually wind up with a mix of armor types.)

Anyway, I packed up the necessary tools and materials and took them with me when I went to visit my parents, which is why the backdrop for these pictures isn't my usual workshop.

Found a pattern on google, cut it out of 10-12 oz veg tan, traced/carved/tooled it:

(You can see why this is the easiest way to get elbow protection, it's WAY less fiddly than trying to do articulated plates around the joint.)

Soaked the elbow cop again (because it was starting to dry out by the time I was done tooling), rounded it out and stitched it up:

Dyed it black, in my parents' backyard:

(And if you use Angelus dyes, that's how you keep from spilling it -- the box has little perforations so that it can hold the bottle safely upright.)

WAX THAT MOTHERFUCKER:

It doesn't show in that picture, but I have a metal bowl of wax (jeweler's casting wax) melting on the stovetop. I alternate between brushing it onto the leather, which looks like the picture above, and then putting the leather in the oven at ~200F, at 10-20 minute intervals, until the wax soaks in. Repeat until the leather is fully saturated and does not absorb more wax. (This often takes hours, so find something else to multitask with.)

But when you're done -- ta da!

Your project will be thoroughly waterproof, very strong and hard, with a low lustre. It's functionally ABS plastic at this point.

The next step was padding, so I got some sheepskin and and fitted it to the inside:

(idk why it's so fucking orange, but the alternative was kind of a mint-mucus green. I think the orange is growing on me though.)

Time to pattern the other, simpler piece of the bazuband, because they're hinged to enclose your full arm:

(I couldn't do this earlier, and therefore do both pieces concurrently, because I had no idea how much bulk the padding was going to add to my arm. I suppose you could wrap your arm in padding when you're measuring at the start.)

Slapped a quick design on it:

(And carved & tooled it too, though I neglected to get pictures of that.)

And then--

DISASTER, MY FRIENDS.

I put it in the oven, and it lost its gd mind.

WHAT.

Seriously, just -- words do not do this abomination justice. o_O

LOOK AT IT.

Coming so close on the heels of the Khorasan pouch, which had turned out absolutely perfect and has been more widely shared and lauded than anything else I've posted, this was a humbling experience. 🤣 Like, yes you're good, Gabriel, but you're not immune to fucking up.

So what happened here? Why did the same leather as the bazubands, undergoing the exact same steps and processes, turn out like THIS?

I'd have to repeat the experiment to 100% confirm my theory, but I'm pretty sure the critical difference is that I was speed-running this one, and I didn't wait for the dye to fully dry before I started waxing it. It wound up with, essentially, wet leather hermetically encased in wax, and since the water didn't have anywhere to go, it did weird things to the structure of the leather fibers when it started heating up. And because I don't often work with wax, I had somehow never run into this situation before, and thus already learned that lesson.

Ah well.

It wasn't a huge amount of leather, and it was only like two hours of work, so I'm not that fussed about it. (More embarrassed than anything else, at what feels like a very rookie mistake -- and conscious that it could have been SO MUCH WORSE if that had happened to the larger bazuband pieces, which had a lot more time and materials sunk into them.)

Anyway, I'm going to tweak the pattern a bit, make it narrower at the wrist and a bit longer, and change the design to something that matches the dragon better -- and let it fully dry this time. 😂

[steamberrystudio]

05/11/2023

Hey everyone! Time for the bi-weekly tumblr update for Steamberry stuffs!

I feel like I have missed a few tumblr updates. I went back and the last one I can find is *dated* August 24 - but was actually posted on September 24th. LoL

I had one dated from October but it looks like I may have never actually posted it. That seems about right for how things have been going for me.

It's been rough. Like...really rough. I'm going to assume that the September 24th post was my last tumblr update. I have been updating on Patreon and even updated on Itchio, so there have been updates. Just apparently not here.

(below, you'll mostly find information on WSC but there is a quick update on GS remnants as well!)

Summary

Have written all but Yren's route *through* chapter 9

Numerous new BGs

Ramble

So the last time I posted it looks like I was just starting Chapter 8 in When Stars Collide. I am currently wrapping up the final scenes of chapter 9.

My word count in the September update was 373,000 and it is currently 413,000. I am just shy of 90% of the way towards my final word count goal.

I am about halfway through writing Yren's chapter 9 content (about 8000 words of content total and I've got nearly 4000 of that written). Once I have that bit written, I will be done with Chapter 9 for all characters.

I've gotten new art since my last post but honestly I'm not sure at this point how many. Looking back at my emails, it looks like I've probably gotten 3 new complete BGs + 1 BG sketch since my last update here on Tumblr.

I have updated all the CGs with the new background art as well - the introductory CGs in the current snapshot, of course, use the old backgrounds and the new conference room looks completely different and has different chairs. So I had to go back to those CGs and re-do the chairs. That is done but I haven't actually coded the new BGs yet. I have, however, updated the artwork.

That's basically the major stuff for now with WSC.

Gilded Shadows

Working on the lore book. The art book is complete but I decided to hold off releasing it until the lore book is done so I can release them together. Lore book is taking a while as there is a lot of content to format and I'm adding to it as I go.

It is nearing 100 pages already and...yeah. There's a fair bit more. So it's gonna be big.

Screenshots:

None this time....I don't think.

Upcoming Weeks:

Basically the same old stuff. I will be writing for WSC. I am currently trying to hit a goal of at least 6500 words a week so I can complete the draft by the end of December.

So far I have been able to do that although some weeks I barely managed. It's, as I said, been rough.

I'm continuing to work on the GS lore book. Most of the stuff is at least collected in one place right now, so I just have to format, organise, and add any commentary.

But I've changed computers at least twice since starting this game and some things I remember writing and am now struggling to find. So...that's fun.

Anyway I will try to make sure I post here every two weeks going forward instead of writing up a draft of the post and apparently never showing anyone. 💪