#i'm sure it's not expensive but still

[neckfat]

i cannot imagine having blaze a post money and using it to blaze a post. truly incomprehensible.

[chalkrub]

been doodling some bri'ish wildlife - love seeing these guys. because they are the classics aren't they?

[sadrien]

🩰 tangled ribbons books available to buy!!

so you all may remember that about 2 and a half years ago (oh my god) i did a limited print run of tangled ribbons! when i did that run, i ordered some extras both in case something happened and so i would have something else on my table as i was doing my first con and i was a little low on items

however, i still have these in stock and i'm trying to clean out some of my stuff, so they're now available on my kofi with some of my miraculous merch!!

you can either buy the book alone for 10 usd, or for 14 usd you can also get a print and two die cut stickers!

not only that, but i do have mystery bags of exclusively miraculous merch for 25 usd if you'd like to check those out! they'll later be listed on my etsy, but for now they're ko-fi exclusive! get it here!

since you're reading this post i'll let you in on a little secret, the mystery bags contain this print and both die cut stickers if you don't want to double buy!

store

[pseudophan]

gonna be so sad when tonight is the first preshow space with good audio and i'm asleep because i have a psych appointment tomorrow

[heich0e]

Ooh will you pls walk us through your perfume/body wash/lotion collection?

fun fact i actually use gentle/unscented body products so all of my body wash/soaps/lotions/etc are not (or are negligibly) fragranced! my derm put the fear of god into me abt how it can irritate your skin, and since switching years ago i just haven't gone back! i like that it makes whatever fragrance i'm wearing smell cleaner and less muddied too. (my shampoo/conditioner/other hair product is fragranced so that still has a scent, so does my deodorant, and my laundry detergent. w that many scents happening on a regular basis i feel like there's rly no need for scented body cleansers imho.)

[icewindandboringhorror]

I got these shoes from someone recently but thought they were way too plain looking, so I set out on a quest to customize them with some sharpies and charms and miscellaneous ribbon I had in my craft drawers. Mostly sky themed (clouds, rainbows, rain, stars, etc.) because that's my favorite aesthetic, but I had to include some cat imagery as well, of course lol.

[illarian-rambling]

Damn, what if I reworked Starbreaker to be exclusively in Anarac's pov instead of trying to balance 5 new povs in one book?

Thoughts?

[asha-mage]

Something I've been thinking about a lot as I play my current Sims 4 legacy challenge is how a lot of the negative criticism about The Sims 4 being to easy comes from critics and reviewers taking mechanics and even whole expansions in isolation, which is not really how the game is asking you to play it.

If you focus on any one specific aspect of TS4 to the exclusion of everything else it is in fact, a pretty easy game. But if you are trying to tell a story or allow one to naturally evolve, you are never going to be focusing on just one part of the game.

For example, in my current game I have four sims- two adults two children. Just juggling their needs and keeping everyone alive is not terribly difficult, but every layer beyond that you go it gets more and more challenging. As a result of my founder Sim picking the hot headed bad boy instead of the more stable family man (a choice made as a result of being more attracted to Bad Boy) the parents have a Unpredictable romantic dynamic and a Strained family dynamic, which means their pink and green bars are in a near constant state of free fall and it takes a lot of concentrated effort to keep them from fighting all the time and being miserable any time their around each other. They can't get a divorce though: because I need both their incomes and because it will get substantially harder to raise the kids in a one parent house hold, so instead their trapped in this endless cycle of me intervening to send them on a date to fix their shitty relationship and remember their each other's soulmates, being fine for a while, then slowly growing more and more miserable and unhappy with each other as they start fighting constantly, until I step in again, and save their relationship, again. I could just send them to relationship concealing fix all this but that takes money they do not have and it wouldn't be worth setting aside because this is ultimately cheaper (seriously, counseling costs like a thousand dollars per session and my criminal husband is taking home 170ish a paycheck!).

Meanwhile you have the kids. One just started being a teenager and that means she's constantly getting asked to do things, go places, and have those typical Important Teenage Experiences (board walk, sports day, career fair, prom, prom after party, etc). Again on it's own it wouldn't be to bad, but I have to pick and choose what high school experiences for her to have very carefully because I can't consonantly be tabbing away from my home lot to follow her and make sure she's getting the Most Out of Her Teen Years since that might mean her parents digging a relationship hole I'll never get them out of, or her toddler little brother's needs getting incredibly out of wack. I misjudged this balance initially because she got a Fear of Unfulfilled Dreams and she would often fall into an ennui doom spiral of bad moodlets related to her not missing out on life despite being like 16 (honestly? millennial icon). These bad moodlets where getting in the way of her socializing and school progress so I had to have her conquer that fear (it's own lengthy process) in order to get back on track. At the same time her little brother being first in infant and then a toddler, needs constant supervision and care from his parents- he can't go anywhere or do anything on his own, and if I let his needs slip to far away he's going to get yanked by social services, which absolutely can not happen because he's the heir to this challenge and since he's sister isn't a spellcaster I don't have backup plan for the next generation if he gets taken.

Did I mention yet that this is largely a spellcaster household? Cause see the overarching story line I'm going for is the rise (and possible fall) of a family of spell casters over several generations. And you might be thinking 'surely having phenomenal cosmic power makes all this easier' and you would be wrong. I frequently set things on fire when trying to magically repair them, overload on magical charge, and have to deal with my og Sim being cursed with everything from higher spell failure rates to being stalked by evil spirits. The curses especially are wild because in my efforts to Decrusify myself I ended up with a completely different unrelated curse from overloading during the spell. I can't just stop using magic either because it's my main sim's Aspiration meaning I need to keep grinding out those spell caster experience points- which leaves me in this feedback loop of trying to solve every problem with magic, it going horribly awry, needing more magic to dig myself out of the resulting hole, and that going horribly awry.

Honestly the only advantage of being a spell caster has been being able to make huge batches of chili in my cauldron and just leaving it there for family members to eat from when their on the go, since cauldron chili never expires. It's saved me tons of time that would otherwise be spent cooking meals, which has been a huge help since Everything Is Happening All of the Time.

All this to say is that while I understand where the complaints of The Sims 4 being to easy, I think it's a problem of framing rather then with the game itself. If you just set out to tell a story and then let it naturally evolve and twist, you'll find plenty of challenge- as each layer of the game adds it's own plate you have to keep spinning if you want to avoid peeing yourself in the street during an existential crisis.

[cuteniarose]

The consequences of my poor financial decisions are here!!

[can-of-slorgs]

Big congrats on finishing your stamp pages! Also split grundos are one of my fave pets of all time so plz tell Volks that I love him. :')

He's thankful to say the list.

[anormalkidingotham]

i haven't actually tried that specific brand before (we only got the knock-off but that didn't really work and it was super loud and needed a lot of energy) because it's super expensive but if you say it really works, i'll check it out

[thisismeracing]

Since when did we start charging money on patreon for fanfics 😭😭😭😭 is this for real😭

hi, love. I haven't seen that many people doing the Patreon thing when it comes to fanfic, but it's pretty common for people who draw for example to set up a Patreon. I believe that everyone who does, just like myself, needs the money. I wouldn't be doing it if i didn't need to. I figured the Patreon setup was the best idea since it's not really that common for people to tip writers, we've been struggling with getting reblogs and comments, so you can imagine.

Right now, I'm applying and doing tests to get an internship, which still won't be enough because I'm also trying to apply for a master's. So, yeah, I'm really thankful for everyone who tipped me on ko-fi and subscribed to my Patreon, last month my savings were over, and the Patreon money was what helped me pay for some medical stuff I needed (Idk if you saw the whole mick schumacher's sick club, but yeah — huge thank you for everyone who subscribed/donated btw).

We often see fic writers as little robots who don't eat, drink, or sleep. We request stuff, and expect an instant reply, and when we get the content we don't even go back to the page to tell the writer our thoughts. We don't reblog, nor leave comments, but still, we expect them to keep writing and keep sharing everything as if it didn't take hours, sometimes days to come up with a 1k piece polished to what we think readers will like best. I hope I don't sound rude, I'm just trying to make a point because I'm tired of seeing writers deactivating, tired of seeing my friends getting writer's block and then people still demanding things.

On top of that, I'm still posting a lot here, from smau to blubs and long fic requests (and I won't even talk about how some pieces aren't even getting a hundred notes, which always makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong, if my writing is bad, or if there's anything that I could do to make the reader's experience more enjoyable), and it takes a lot of time, it's even harder to balance the two profiles now, but still, I keep sharing some of my work for free. so please, please, don't make me feel bad about needing money. thanks ❤️.

[betty-bourgeoisie]

Being an eldest daughter sucks ass, but being an eldest granddaughter is a privileges and an honor, so I think it evens out

[kvietka]

I hope my medical insurance company kills themselves

[celebrate-lesbianism]

Love and support for femmes who don't wear makeup, get their nails done, or shave 💖

[braisedhoney]

please tell me about the pigments i would love nothing more than to hear you talk about that one shade of red you like and the process it took too recreate it

... oh, op. you have no idea what you've unleashed.

alright. here we go.

OKAY SO THE RED PIGMENT. pr206. my beloved. my dearest friend. it was an absolute bastard to find because there are so many of these. however many you think there are, there are MORE, and that's only if you don't count the many many scenarios where colors are known to be multi-pigment mixes, usually varying in tone/shade/intensity depending on the brand and manufacturing style. some colors are more consistent than others, but there are situations where a color can be named the same and contain the same pigments and STILL look wildly different depending on the ratio, binder, and paper you use. and that's not accounting for the way the pigment is processed. some pigments (like pv19 for example) can come in so many shades it's frankly kind of ridiculous.

anyway, my quest begins when i am, admittedly, in an edgier phase. i want a blood red, but not specifically because of that—no, i want it because it is THE IDEAL COLOR (to me) for a perfect, warm, slightly muted but still intense shade to add to a muted autumn watercolor palette. and... if you look at my whole theme, you probably know how much i love warm colors. i want to paint mushrooms. i want to dim down some of the brighter greens to make them autumnal. i want the perfect red to put as an undertone.

the search starts in earnest.

the immediate issue is this: reds (and purples and pinks) have horrifically bad lightfastness. not all of them, mind, but many are NOTORIOUS for fading under uv light, which means they will also fade if exposed to sunlight even in passing should it happen often enough. and—in especially bad cases where they're essentially working with dye and not pigment—they can even fade inside your notebook. inside of a drawer.

so not only are we working with an unfortunate pigment base (i'm simplifying here, there's way more nuance to this but shh) but we are working with one that skews heavily toward floral pinks or oranges. the red i'm searching for is warm, but not orange. dries dark but not brown. is transparent, not opaque. that last part is agonizing, because i also desperately do not want a color that will fade on me or generally destabilize, and most of the stable dark red pigments are EARTH pigments like red ochre (pr101) or the like. which, while fascinating because of their historical usage in things like pottery and even cave paintings that last to the modern day, are VERY OPAQUE. this is an issue with my preferred style of watercolor painting specifically, because opaque pigments tend to lift easier off the page and limit layering.

the search continues. pigment after pigment breaks my heart for one reason or another, drying too close to the cooler purpleish-red tint of wine at best. i think i find it in perylene maroon, but the drying shift (the difference between how a color looks wet vs after it dries on the paper) is so extreme that it loses the luminosity AND it's more opaque than most. i languish.

for a while my search turns to creation. i try and mix as many of my single pigment colors as i can into something that vaguely resembles what i'm looking for—so i take quinacridones and mix them with napthols, with nickel azos, with dashes of ultramarines and burnt sienna. everything turns out either just a bit too opaque, just a bit too muddy (that happens with multi-pigment mixtures, and is why so many people swear by single pigment colors. it's personal preference, really, great art can be made either way.)

still, nothing works. failure haunts me. i sit before a pile of used up watercolor paper that is literally covered edge to edge in nothing but similar red squares with various gradients and blooms as evidence of when i tried and failed to convince myself my efforts were close enough. i admit defeat.

in the meantime i shift my focus. i try and appreciate different color palettes and profiles, experimenting with things like fully transparent palettes (personal favroite) to fully opaque ones that function more like gouache. but despite finding appreciation for it, i still think about the damn red that i could never recreate. it kills me.

and then one day, a youtube video. a pigment is being discontinued, and the watercolor community is distressed. this happens a lot, because pigments are actually not always popular because of artists—sometimes beloved colors are put out of production because larger markets like car companies no longer find them popular enough to invest in. this time, the casualty is pr206, aka brown madder, aka quinacridone burnt scarlet.

let me tell you a little about quinacridones. they are genuinely remarkable colors. they have their own cult followings because of how bright and abnormally stable they are under uv light. they're transparent. they're luminous. they come in mostly shades of red and pink and purple, though there are a couple oranges and yellows in there. (there are no quinacridone blues, as far as i'm aware, but the phthalo blues have that category covered.) they also rewet beautifully, so you can put them on your palette and let them dry and not worry about it turning into a useless little rock of color that you can't get any pigment from anymore.

quinacridone magenta (pr122) is probably the most popular of these, the most often used besides maybe quinacridone violet (pv19). a few years prior we suffered the loss of quinacridone gold (po49) and since then people have been On Alert when it comes to losing these colors. i am one of them, because i never got the chance to even see po49 in person, and now the tubes are so stupid expensive that even the student grade versions go for Ridiculously High Prices on ebay, and the professional brands are being hoarded like (ironically) gold by anyone lucky enough to have a tube left over.

but back to our main character. not me, the pigment. pr206. i have legitimately never heard of this one, which to be fair is probably because i try to limit the random colors i fixate on since the hobby can easily get VERY expensive if you aren't careful. but it's a quinacridone, and that catches my eye.

i open the video.

now, i'm sure any artist out there will be familiar with the fact that screens don't display color consistently. it depends on your device, but most can agree that something that looks cooler on one may be warmer on the other, it's just what happens. but i see this color being swatched, and my brain implodes.

it's almost a perfect match.

it could work. it could. years of thinking that same thought have left me bereft and mistrustful of this specific quest marker, but the thought refuses to leave me. probably because the 'discontinued' label flashes like a neon sign.

i resist for about six months, and then i cave. at this point i have genuinely been trying and failing to find this color for upwards of five years. i am desperate, and the color might not be available anymore soon anyway, and apparently i am weak to sales pitches. (note: the color IS now unavailable in some brands, but others bought a decent supply and should have it available for at least a little while, alongside po48 which is quinacridone burnt orange, a favorite of mine and probably one of the only oranges i use regularly. both are discontinued officially, but they'll still be on sale till those supplies run dry.)

the color arrives. i grab my favorite brush. i pull out my stash of paper that i save for special occasions.

it's almost perfect.

i mix it with quinacridone burnt orange.

the result is, i swear, a perfect match for what i have been searching for.

it's warm. it dries dark but not dark enough to look brown. it keeps its luminosity (thank you quinacridones). it's fully transparent (thank you quinacridones). i genuinely feel the urge to weep, but i don't because i am clinging at last to the dredges of my sanity and also salt makes watercolor pigments behave differently and i will not risk this glorious moment. finally, after all these years, bill cipher has a gun i found the goddamn COLOR.

i mix it with warm yellows and with my favorite blues. with the pinks, just to laugh. life is beautiful and i am painting its sunsets, and i do not care if they look ridiculously messy. i have won.

the moral of the story is to never give up. or maybe it's to remember you never actually know everything about even the fields you love the most, because this color totally blindsided me despite being much more common than i expected. or maybe it's that i seriously needed to chill out for a while.

but yes. that is the tale of one (1) of the colors that has taken up residence in my soul. i hope you don't regret asking now lmao.