#i'm super happy with the final result

[thesilliestrovingalive]

To meet oneself - finale

The previous chapters: 1, 2, and 3

Chapter 4: As things get brighter

After what feels like an eternity, Marchrius' wrenching sobs begin to subside, his sniffles and tears slowing with each ragged breath. He takes five deep, deliberate breaths, exhaling the lingering sadness from his body, willing himself to let go. As he relaxes, his tight grip on Marco gentles, his tense muscles softening. Marco releases a quiet sigh of relief as Marchrius' intense weeping session begins to recede. With his breathing eased, Marco ceases rubbing Marchrius' back as he feels him slowly lift his head from the crook of his shoulder. His arms slip away from Marco as he shifts back, creating space between them. Marco ends his embrace and settles comfortably against the tree, gazing up at the starry sky with his hands clasped behind his head. Marchrius emits a few shuddering breaths as he wipes his tear-stained face and damp hands on his sleeveless platinum grey shirt and army cargo pants.

Marco's sparkling turquoise eyes flicker towards Marchrius, who bows his head, gaze fixed on his right forearm. With his cybernetic index finger, Marchrius traces the fresh, self-inflicted wounds, his expression stoic, unreadable. He gently wipes away the last remnants of blood, the liquid already starting to congeal and form a fragile crust over his open cuts. Marco's gaze shifts to the bloodied combat knife Marchrius dropped, its blade reflecting the moon's rays. For a moment, Marco looks down at himself, his flesh chilled by the night air, but he shows no sign of discomfort. As Marchrius calmly tends to his cut-riddled forearm, a dryness creeps up his throat, stirring a sudden thirst for another beer. But he suppresses the craving, his resolve hardened.

Marco's gaze turns inward, lost in thought. Marchrius looks up, his sorrowful eyes locking onto Marco's face, and his hands instinctively find each other, rubbing together in a familiar, nervous rhythm. He attempts to break the silence, eager to shift the focus away from the vulnerability he shared, but his words catch in his throat. Just as the awkwardness threatens to settle, Marco's expression transforms. A spark of inspiration ignites within him, and he turns to face Marchrius, whose curious gaze meets his. A soft, enigmatic smile spreads across Marco's face as their eyes lock, his bright gaze contrasting with Marchrius' dull, haunted stare. Before he can utter a sound, Marchrius abruptly straightens and speaks first, his words preempting Marco's.

"Thank youuu... f-for stayin' by my side," he slurs softly, his words barely above a whisper.

His face, once etched with pain and curiosity, relaxes into a warm, gentle smile, gratitude and fuzzy joy clouding his features. Marco didn’t anticipate the thanks, but the heartfelt gratitude warms his heart, causing his face to light up and his smile to broaden.

"You're welcome," he replies, noticing a faint sparkle in Marchrius' dull turquoise eyes, a hint of an emotion that resembles happiness.

Marchrius' soft smile fades, returning to his characteristic stoicism as he picks up the worn gauze he'd dropped. With slightly unsteady hands, he wraps the gauze around his right forearm, attempting to conceal the self-inflicted cuts. Marco observes with interest, impressed that Marchrius' intoxication hasn't compromised his delicate handling of the gauze. Composing himself, his words slur slightly as he turns to Marco and asks, "Where... a-are you froooomm?"

"Twin Falls, Idaho," he replies, his answer quick and honest. "What about you?"

"I'm… errr, f-from there toooo," Marchrius slurs, his voice dripping with nostalgia. His face relaxes into an awkward smirk, his left index finger tracing idle circles in the air as if stirring forgotten memories. "My ch-childhood... home."

Marco hesitated, considering asking about Marchrius' home life, but thought better of it, choosing instead to let him share on his own terms. Beneath his macho facade, he detects a deeply troubled person, wrestling with mental instability and a profound difficulty in trusting others. Marchrius averts his gaze, his eyes tracing the blades of grass as he secures the worn gauze around his forearm with a few awkward tugs. His lower lip catches between his teeth as he struggles to think of something to break the silence. He rakes his fingers through his unruly strawberry blonde locks, then glances up at the starry sky. The darkness gradually recedes, surrendering to a softer, midnight blue that hints at the edges of the night like the first whispers of dawn.

Marco picks up on Marchrius' unease and intervenes with a thoughtful query, "What do you enjoy doing in your free time?"

Marchrius' gaze drifts up to Marco's, his expression relaxed and a passionate smile spreading across his lips. After a soft belch, he clears his throat with a rough cough, then speaks enthusiastically, his words emerging slightly slower and more deliberate, "Well, I... I have a f-few thingsssss I'm pretty into."

“Like what?” Marco raises an eyebrow, crossing his arms as he asks, maintaining an air of level-headed curiosity.

"Hah... I love spendin' time with my k-kitty, Perifa... She's my dramatic lil’ princess, ya know? Trevor just won't get it, man.... I adore her soooooo much, I just wanna squeeze those adorable cheeks and play with her all day, every day! And, uh, s-smoke breaks with Tarma, Eri, and Tequila... thossssse are the best! I… errrr, occasionally smoke w-weed with Trevorrrr. I-I-I like to hit up kittyyyy cafes and... it's just purrfection!"

Marchrius' eyes sparkle with excitement as he talks about his beloved shorthair calico, his face lighting up with a warm smile. His words tumble out in an enthusiastic rush, his passion momentarily boiling over into a fervent tone. But as he speaks, his sentences begin to falter, his thoughts clouding over as he struggles to articulate them. The lingering haze of intoxication still clings to him, and his words trail off into awkward silence.

Marco waits patiently, a warm smile spreading across his face as a gentle chuckle escapes his lips, triggered by the simple cat pun. The awkward silence that follows is brief, lasting only a few seconds before Marchrius collects his thoughts and continues.

"I t-take naps at my desk... not exactlyyyy a hobby, but... rest isss i-important, ya know? And, uh, I'm really into those… crossword puzzles! Yeah! Did m-myyy first one when I wasssss just a kid... at the age of 1, can ya believe it? My daddy was impressed... maybe a little scared, haha! My parents were a-amazed I grasped thosssssse political terms, even back then. But my mommy... she jusssst didn't g-get it. Th-Thought I was some kinda freak," as he speaks, Marchrius' composure falters for an instant, his right eye twitching before he regains control. "Ungrateful... y-y-yeah, that's the worddd. She’s one helllll o-of a biatch!"

He shakes his head, pushing aside the bitter emotions that surface whenever he thinks of his mother, and refocuses on Marco with a forced smile and renewed enthusiasm. Marco empathises with Marchrius' disdain for his own mother, as Marco shares similar feelings towards his own mom due to her emotional distance, which he believes stems from his exceptionally high intelligence.

"Makin' artificial intelligence and t-tech viruses from scratch... it's theeeee best, ya know? Tests m-m-my knowledge and I realllyyyy love it! Goes so well with my quick mental… errrrr, ca-calculations. Like bread and butter, man! And I-I like toooo calculate math stuff and pr-program run times in my head. Keepssss my mind off... off other stuff. But, ugh, hate it when my m-mind wanders to the wrrrrong pl-places... It’s the fu-fucking worst!" Marchrius slurs his words in a drunken drawl, yet his passion for computer science shines through, tinged with a hint of melancholy that lingers at the end.

He bites his lower lip and takes a deep breath, refocusing on the pleasant conversation before concluding, "St-stargazing... it's gorgeous, ya know? I love lookin' at the stars, thinkin' about their stories... and stuff. Especially with someone I-I careeee about. It getsss me a-all introspective and whaaat not… Reminds me of Fio... she's into that astronomy thing! Timid little thing, but don't let that fool ya, she's got spunk. And her bakin’? Forget about it, it's amazing. It's il meglio del meglio, j-just like she says! Anyways… Whaddaya like to do in your... uhhh, free time?"

Marco pauses, intrigued by Marchrius' shared interest in computer science, and smiles warmly as he rests his hands on the grassy ground. He's surprised to discover that Marchrius' Fio has a confident side, hidden beneath her shy exterior.

"I also enjoy mentally calculating the running times of computer programs in my head. I find it a valuable hobby that helps me stay sharp in computer science. I'm really into computer programming and hacking. I actually work with Trevor, a computer whiz, to create new software programs. He's a huge help. I also love learning about binary code—its complex language and underlying logic are often underappreciated. Aside from computing, I have a unique hobby: imitating drunken master moves. It makes me feel empowered and energised," he enthusiastically shares, his excitement palpable, especially when discussing his computer-related pursuits.

"Dr-Drunken... master movesss? Urrr... I-I actually taught myyyyyself... h-how to do drunken-style boxing... back in high school. H-Had to defend m-myself from those bullies... looking for a fight! I-I preferred to use my words... but sometimes... that w-wasn't enough," Marchrius' words slur, his body swaying slightly, as his speech stumbles out in fragmented phrases.

He inches closer to Marco, drawn to his warmth, and becomes lost in reminiscence, his eyes glazing over with memories of his high school years.

"I guess school was rough for you?" Marco asks, his voice laced with genuine concern, his expression sympathetic as memories of his own struggles with bullying flicker across his face.

Marchrius nods solemnly, releasing a disheartened sigh. His words slur slightly as he speaks with deliberate slowness, "Ahhh, l-lot of students... th-thought it'd be a rrrreeal good idea to p-pick on ol' me. I didn't have anyyyyy r-real friends, ya know? My freakishly high intelligence, courtesy of my... my... su-super special DNA, only made things worssssee! Unfortunately... I-I pushed away those who tried to b-befriend me... Stupid me, r-right?"

Marchrius curls into himself, knees tucked tightly against his chest, and lifts his gaze to the blue-tinged darkness above. The stars twinkle like diamonds scattered across the fabric of the universe, their gentle sparkle a soothing balm for his troubled soul. Marco quietly wonders what this special DNA might be, making a mental note to ask about it later. Marco pauses for a moment, noticing that Marchrius is trembling slightly, and decides to steer the conversation towards a different topic of interest.

"If you don't mind me asking, what are Trevor, Tarma, Eri, Tequila, and Fio like? I'm curious about the people you mentioned earlier," Marco asks respectfully, hoping to distract Marchrius from his concerns and lift his spirits now that he's feeling a bit better.

Marchrius relaxes his grip on his knees and turns to face Marco, his gaze drawn to his turquoise eyes. He notices the warmth and vitality in them, a stark contrast to his own. Clearing his throat softly, Marchrius extends his right arm, tracing gentle circles in the grass beside him. Lost in thought, he pauses, collecting his thoughts on how to describe the individuals Marco had asked about. After a moment of contemplative silence, Marchrius leans in, his voice taking on a more intimate tone. Marchrius' face breaks into a warm, lopsided grin, his dull turquoise eyes shining with genuine affection.

"They're... one of a kind, r-really! I love them allllllll, dearly... ya know? Each one's special... in their own wayyyyy. And I cherish... uhhh, every... moment... with t-them," he speaks to Marco in a tone that's warmly sentimental, his words infused with a gentle, fuzzy happiness and his speech slightly slower than usual.

He then elaborates on the friends Marco mentioned, providing a detailed description of each person. Marchrius begins with Trevor, describing him as a kind-spirited and easy-going friend, whose dedication to his military work is matched only by his love for security programming, hacking, and gaming. Trevor is also an avid weed smoker, self-proclaimed existentialist, and Nadia’s best friend. Despite his calm nature, he's not afraid to show his ruthless side.

He has a strong dislike for being called "old" or "Trevor Spicy”, nicknames used jokingly by friends and comrades. He's highly allergic to cats, often referring to them as "diabolical little buggers”. Marchrius finds it entertaining how Perifa constantly seeks cuddles from Trevor, which greatly annoys him. He’s strongly opposed to illicit drug use, advocating for responsible substance use and supporting friends and comrades struggling with addiction. Marchrius greatly values Trevor's expertise in technology, programming, and interrogation.

Marchrius then shifts his focus to Tarma, his emotionally intelligent queerplatonic partner and first best friend. He affectionately describes him as a "maniacal gearhead" with a contagious, breezy optimism. Marchrius credits him with filling the emotional void left by his father's passing, providing much-needed intimacy and companionship. Additionally, his expertise in robotics engineering enabled him to design and build Marchrius' cybernetic prosthetic. Alongside Eri, Tarma also taught Marchrius Japanese phrases, which he enjoys incorporating into his dry humour.

Marchrius attributes his growth as a person to befriending Tarma, who helped him recognize the value of friendships and step out of his comfort zone. As a self-described loner, Marchrius cherishes Tarma emotional support and delights in his nerdy enthusiasm and constant jokes. However, he occasionally finds Tarma's teasing about his serious nature grating. Marchrius is aware that Tarma suffers from separation anxiety, becoming distressed when they're apart and unable to reach each other.

Marchrius describes Eri as a tomboyish leader who fearlessly seeks vengeance for those she cares about. She leads a group of Ptolemaic Army deserters who show remarkable kindness and respect towards her friends and comrades. She has a soft spot for those who suffered a difficult childhood, like herself, and enjoys vodka. She's overly protective of Fio and Walter, like an older sister, and considers some Regular Army special operatives as family.

However, she has a troubled past with Tarma, viewing him as a hot-headed and irresponsible individual. This history leads to tension, and Marchrius and her team often intervene to prevent her from physically lashing out at Tarma, which is frustrating. Marchrius notes that Eri has a habit of smearing blood on herself to intimidate enemies and harbours a deep distrust of Christianity. She's not thrilled that Tarma has romantic feelings for Fio, particularly when he makes flirtatious moves towards her.

Marchrius portrays Tequila as a wise, battle-hardened, and compassionate Catholic veteran who has bravely confronted the harsh realities of war. He possesses unwavering moral clarity, believing that truth, no matter how difficult it is, must be faced. Marchrius holds him in high esteem, crediting him as a key factor in the success of the Regular Army and S.P.A.R.R.O.W.S. Despite his tough demeanour, Tequila struggles with emotional vulnerabilities. Years of combat have inflicted lasting trauma, and he periodically requires solitude to recharge and contemplate.

He's sensitive about his height and dislikes being teased about it. When frightened or enraged, he exhibits a quirky habit of jumping onto others' backs. His values are uncompromising: he despises cowardice, incompetence, and duplicity. Surprisingly, Marchrius discovered that Tequila intensely dislikes war, empathising with military recruits whose worldview will be shattered by the brutal realities of combat.

Marchrius concludes his discussion about his friends, highlighting Fio's exceptional ability to connect with children, such as Tarma, Gimlet, and Ralf. She’s unafraid to express her emotions and offer stern guidance when needed, yet willing to lend a helping hand. Although initially timid around strangers, she warms up once she feels comfortable. Her passions include baking, meticulously preparing meals infused with love and consideration for others' preferences.

She has a deep appreciation for nature and maintains impeccable cleanliness standards, but has a tendency to get flustered easily. Her Italian upbringing instills superstitions that influence her worldview. Despite struggling with entomophobia and being an unskilled fighter, Fio excels as a strategist, employing effective keep-away tactics. Her emotional comfort comes from carrying Peppino, her childhood teddy bear, though Marchrius views this habit as childish.

As Marchrius concludes his long, passionate, and surprisingly insightful speech about Trevor, Tarma, Eri, Tequila, and Fio, Marco is stunned by how vastly different they are from his own friends. Marchrius remained relatively calm throughout the entire rant, but became slightly more animated in an affectionate manner when discussing Tarma and Fio. Marco's face breaks into a warm smile, his eyes sparkling with gentle joy, as he's glad to discover Marchrius has found people truly worthy of his trust. He’s also grateful that his Tarma has played a pivotal role in coaxing him out of his solitary existence and into meaningful connections.

"Wow, you've got some incredible friends!" Marco exclaims, gently clapping Marchrius on the back. "It's great to have people you can trust. Life would be tough without them." 

Marchrius' face cracks into a slight smile, accompanied by a few warm, hearty chuckles.

"Y-yeah... But, honestly, I'm stilllll a loner, ya know? Socialising... uhhhh, sometimes it's just tooooo mu-much, ya feel me? And the funny thing issssss... I'm su-supposed to be a leader of… errrr, my t-team," Marchrius slurs, swaying slightly as he rubs the back of his neck and gazes up at the stars.

"I know the feeling," Marco says with a nod, his voice sympathetic. "We all need some alone time to recharge. Socialising can be exhausting."

He slowly crosses his arms, his expression thoughtful as he gazes up at the star-studded sky. Seeking a change in subject, he turns his attention to Marchrius, finding him an intriguing individual.

Marco's face lights up with curiosity and playfulness, and he asks with a sly grin, "So, anyone caught your eye lately?"

He's curious to know if Marchrius has a secret crush, someone he sees as a potential love interest.

Marchius waves his hand dismissively and shakes his head vigorously, his voice trembling slightly as he speaks, "No, no, no... Ab-Absolutely not! I’m aroace, okayyyy?! Romance, nahhhh... and... uhhh, t-the other thing... Just no! Makes myyy st-stomach do flips when… when I think ab-about it, mannnn.”

"Aroace, huh?" Marco murmurs, noticing Marchrius' uneasiness regarding the question about having any crushes. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. Curiosity just got the better of me.”

"Nahhh... i-it’s fine, ya didn't knowww," Marchrius slurs, shaking his head slightly and looking down at the ground, his voice laced with a hint of regret. "Sorrry... overreacted, I g-guess..."

Marchrius absently scratches the back of his head, his hiccup and sniffle interrupting his thoughts. Right next to him, Marco settles into a cross-legged position, inhaling slowly and deeply.

"Hey... You mentioned something about special DNA earlier. What's that about?" Marco speaks up, breaking the awkward silence, his curiosity evident in the tilt of his head as he looks at Marchrius.

Marchrius pauses, swaying slightly, his fingers tightening around his right forearm as he exhales deeply.

"Tuatha Dé Danann DNA, yeeeahhh..." he mutters, his hand waving lazily in the air. "Ancieeeent bu-bunch, man. Lived back in t-the Hadean Eon, yeah! Whennnn life first p-popped up… Way, wayyyy before humans. Crazy advanced tech... and ma-magic... the wholllle shebang!"

Marchrius chuckles with amusement, shaking his head as he leans in, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, "Their tech, man... it's like nothin' w-we can even imagine. Beyyyyyond wildest dreams, s-seriously! Everyone… everyone wants a piece: Rebel Army, Amadeus Syndicate, Ptolemaic Army... all crawlin' over each other like r-rats for a ssssslice of that… Tuatha Dé Danann’s pie. I mean, c-can yaaaa blame them?"

"Descendants got... uhhhh, sp-special gifts. We're like... super resilient! We caaannnn handle st-stuff that'd drive others straight to… uhhh, the looney bin! Like, full-blown se-sensory overload, man… We're sm-smarter than yourrrrr average Joe, no question! But, the originals? Wh-Whole different story. Hyperintelligence, far outta our leagueeee,” Marchrius remarks with a lopsided grin, tapping his temple lightly with his left index finger. “Physically, tooooo... w-we've got the signs. Skin's paleeee, sometimes gets d-duller with age. Hair's a-all over the map, black to blonde, and e-eyes... eyes are like the dammmmmnnn o-ocean, blue to cyan, everyyyy shade in between."

As Marchrius leans in closer, his voice barely audible, a shiver tracing his spine, he wraps his arms around himself, warding off a sudden chill, "I knowwwww Tequila and a co-couple of othersss… got that Tuatha Dé Danann DNA thing. I g-goooot that DNA fr-from my momma’s side... Daddy never noticed... th-those eyes. They're like... warning lights, glowing redddd. Onlyyyy show up s-sometimes, but it's like... they're watching me, man. M-Monitoring everyyyy damn move. Always lurking, ju-just out offfff sight."

He leans slightly back from Marco, crossing his arms as a tired yawn escapes him, his eyes growing heavy. Marchrius has a nagging sense that tomorrow will be another big day, filled with intense action and strategic planning. Marco still harbours concerns about his friends, the mission to Käthehirt Valley, and his own uncertain location. Before he can voice his questions, Marchrius interrupts, eager to pose one final question before returning to the Sparrowhawk Operations Base.

“G-Got anyyyy dreams for the… uhhhh, future?” he slurs, his head swaying unsteadily from side to side as he stares up at the twinkling stars, his words drawn out in a gentle hiccup.

Marco exhales heavily as he stands up, lifting the handle of the unused heavy machine gun with his left hand, and leans against the sturdy trunk of the ancient oak tree. Looking down at Marchrius with a hint of uncertainty, he replies, "I've been considering something. I need a bit more time to think it through, but I'm leaning towards starting a computer software business. What about you?"

Marchrius lets out a deep, slurred chuckle and smirks confidently, his dull turquoise eye glassy, "I've got a biggggg dream, man! Gonna be a me-mechatronics engineer... and… uhhhh, foster a whole bunch of kittens. And then... and th-then I'm gonna start thissssss company. Gonna make the most advanced computerrrrr models, AI, and cybersecurity stuff... for the mi-military and civilians, yeahhhh? I wanna ch-change the world. Or at least, most of it... Hopefully…"

Marco is enamoured with Marchrius' vision for his future, and he smiles softly, reassured that he has a clear direction to work towards.

“I believe in you. I know you’re going to succeed, no matter what comes your way. Your intelligence is your greatest ally. Don’t forget that,” he says with conviction, extending his hand to help him up from the grass.

Marchrius turns to Marco, a lopsided grin spreading across his face as his eyes shine with genuine happiness. As he sways slightly, he grasps Marco's outstretched hand with his right, seeking balance. With a thoughtful swipe, he brushes off his pants, sending grass and dirt flying, and replies with heartfelt gratitude.

"Th-Thank yaaaa... again," he speaks slowly and deliberately, his words slightly garbled. "Thank ya for... uhhhh, everything. I knowwww the future has… has greaaaattt th-things in store for ya! Anyways… errrrr, what dooooo I call ya?"

"Just call me Marco," he replies, his voice accompanied by a widened smile and a slight nod.

His turquoise eyes lock onto Marchrius' face, sparkling with gratefulness and acknowledgement. For a moment, he studies Marchrius' expression, convinced by the sincerity etched upon it.

“Mmmmm, Marchrius... yeah, that su-suits meeee well,” he slurs slightly with a gentle smile, offering a somewhat unsteady hand for a handshake.

He pauses to dab at his nose with a sniffle, his eyes squinting briefly as he struggles to focus, “We... uhhhh, share the same ni-nickname. Can't have us ca-causin' confusion... Bessssst keep things simple, right?”

Marco takes Marchrius' hand, and they share a firm but gentle handshake, Marchrius' grip momentarily tightening before they release. Marco crosses his arms as Marchrius carefully lifts the half-empty six-pack, its contents depleted by four beers. Gripping the handle tightly to prevent a drop, Marchrius' exhausted body sways slightly.

"Uhhmmm... Do you know where I am?" Marco asks, suddenly remembering his urgency. "I need to get back to my friends ASAP. I have an important mission going on."

Marchrius' eyes go wide with surprise, his expression stunned by Marco's revelation. He dips his head, his gaze falling to the grass, its blades now heavy with absorbed rainwater. As he processes the news, he subtly shifts his weight onto his left leg.

"Oh! In a mo-mountain forest, waaaaaay outta ci-civilization… Just critters and treesssss and stuff. We’re in some remote and… errrrr, to-totally abandoned part of greaaattttt ol’ Britain," Marchrius responds honestly, taking a deep breath to steady his thoughts.

“I see… Well! I better take my leave. I have a looooong journey ahead of me. It was nice meeting you, Marchrius. Take care!” Marco exclaims, adjusting his belt and the straps of his military-issued backpack.

As Marco waves goodbye and walks away from the oak tree, Marchrius swiftly clamps down on his arm, his powerful cybernetic hand closing around his bicep like a vice. Marco's exit is halted abruptly, his momentum arrested by the unyielding grip. Marco freezes, raising an eyebrow as he turns his head to face Marchrius, whose frowned expression suggests he's unhappy about Marco's sudden departure. Marchrius' dull turquoise eyes gleam with a hint of melancholy as he slowly withdraws his chilled hand, his index finger stained with the blood he tried to wipe away from his forearm.

“D-Do you… uhhhh, think we'll seeeee each other a-again?” Marchrius asks, his voice trembling and his words slightly stumbling out of his mouth as he struggles to articulate the anxiety and sorrow lumped in his throat.

Marco lets out a heavy sigh and looks down at the ground, feeling uncertain about the possibility of their paths crossing again. However, he shakes off the doubt and decides to remain hopeful, offering a reassuring smile to Marchrius. He hopes that his optimism will lift Marchrius' spirits and kindle a glimmer of hope that they might meet again.

"You know… I think we'll cross paths once again," he says with a gentle smile, his eyes radiating warmth and hopefulness. "Only time will tell."

Marchrius nods curtly and retrieves his combat knife, his stoic silence a testament to his exhaustion. The marathon session of paperwork and computer work with Trevor had left him mentally drained. As Marco departs, eager to rejoin his team and tackle their mission in Käthehirt Valley, Marchrius casts a fleeting glance over his shoulder, watching the distance grow between them. Despite knowing there's a chance their paths will cross again, a pang of uncertainty settles in the pit of his stomach, leaving him with the haunting feeling that this might be their final farewell.

With a weary shake of his head, Marchrius exhales a heavy sigh, feeling the weight of bodily exhaustion seep into his bones. He continues trudging towards the Sparrowhawk Operations Base, driven by a longing for the solace of his bed and a chance to move on from the day's events. Though his inner turmoil still lingers, this unexpected encounter has brought a measure of healing.

As he navigates the familiar forested mountain landscape, he pauses at the cerulean lake, its usually gleaming surface now muted by approaching gloomy clouds and the full moon's descent below the horizon. Seizing the moment, Marchrius cleans the bloodstains from his combat knife and left index finger, eager to avoid stirring unnecessary panic among his friends. The thought of their worry adds to his already mounting stress, a burden he can barely afford.

He kneels at the lake's edge, primroses crunching beneath his weight, and sheds his crimson vest. The water's calm surface reflects the fading moonlight as he washes the combat knife and his index finger, using the vest's inner lining as a makeshift towel to blot away the blood. After a few minutes of methodical cleaning, he swiftly dons his vest and grips the knife's handle firmly. Standing up, he shakes off the dirt and scattered petals clinging to his legs. As he approaches the Sparrowhawk Operations Base, he catches a fleeting glimpse of glowing red eyes observing him from behind a thicket of bushes near a large boulder. Although he shrugs it off without a second glance, the image lingers, leaving him with a nagging sense of unease.

Meanwhile, Marco navigates the forested mountain, his caution waning now that he's confident he's far from enemy territory. Yet, he remains vigilant, aware that the wilderness can be unpredictable. As he ascends, pushing through dense thickets of foliage and towering deciduous and conifer trees, a fierce gust of wind sweeps through, sending a shiver down his spine. The intensity builds, making every step a struggle. Marco's vision blurs, and he raises his right hand to shield his face from the biting wind. For an instant, it feels like a swarm of knives is slashing past him, his skin turning icy cold.

The gale forces him backward, nearly sending him crashing into a nearby Douglas fir. Marco's eyes snap shut, and he wraps his arms tightly around his body, desperate for warmth. He waits, bracing against the wind's fury, hoping it will soon subside. As suddenly as it began, the gale subsides, replaced by a snowy blizzard that, though still fierce, brings a relative calm. The biting cold seeps into Marco's skin, and the swirling snowflakes reduce his progress to a sluggish crawl. Each step is a battle against the unforgiving cold, his face stung by icy air and progress hindered by thickening snow. Undeterred, Marco pushes forward, driven by the urgent need to escape this chaos and reconnect with his team.

After what feels like an eternity, his surroundings gradually dissolve into a soothing thicket of fog, obscuring his entire view. Yet, paradoxically, it brings a gentle warmth reminiscent of spring, lightly heating his skin and alleviating the bitter cold that racks his body. As he continues moving up the mountain, he slowly opens his eyes, bewildered by the sudden change. The snow beneath him grows thinner, but still crunches beneath his feet as he presses forward with uncertainty. The fog slowly lifts, and the air is replaced by the all-too-familiar scent of warfare: the acrid tang of spilled gore and the burning fires ignited by explosives.

He freezes at the summit, scanning the snowy landscape with utter bewilderment. It takes him only a moment to recognize the familiar contours of Käthehirt Valley, scarred by remnants of the First Morden War. Scattered across the ground are the corpses of Rebel soldiers, their blood-soaked organs and bullet wounds staining the pristine snow crimson. The wreckage of tanks and aircraft, including Iron Isos, Di-Cokkas, and a Flying Tara, lies abandoned, burning and rusting. Marco clenches his heavy machine gun, brow furrowed, poised to unleash a hail of bullets at anyone who dares fire upon him. Then, a gentle, eerily calm voice pierces the silence, its curiosity and surprise infused with a familiarity that makes his heart skip a beat.

“Marco? Is that you?”

A melodious, Italian-accented voice drifts from behind him, its gentle cadence a stark contrast to the carnage surrounding him. He swiftly turns around, his grip on the heavy machine gun relaxing as he recognizes the voice. Fio stands before him, and a warm smile spreads across his face. He takes a step forward, relief washing over him at the sight of her, unscathed and safe amidst the devastation.

“Yep, it's me,” Marco says, his voice soothing and reassuring as he closes the distance between them.

Fio's tense expression eases, accompanied by a soft sigh of relief, her brown eyes locking onto his with gratitude.

"Thank goodness you're okay... The others and I thought you'd vanished and fallen into a trap. We tried to pull you back up, but the force beneath you was too strong, and it pulled you in too quickly. I was getting really worried..." Fio says calmly, taking a cautious step forward while remaining vigilant, her grip firm on her two machine guns.

"Hey, where are the others?" Marco asks, raising an eyebrow, his concern evident.

"Follow me. They're not far," Fio murmurs, her left hand beckoning as she quickly moves to rejoin Tarma, Eri, and Derek.

Without hesitation, Marco follows suit, overjoyed to finally reunite with his friends. Anticipating their questions and concerns, he knows he has a lot of explaining to do. Although unsure if they'll believe him, he's willing to try and alleviate their curiosity.

@fruitypixel

[amphibianaday]

day 1765

[miniiinebulaee]

[creates nebulae as if i'm making pizza]

[sins-of-the-sea]

//Josep smiling is such a rarity for me to draw--not to mention REALLY FUCKING HARD TO DO--I made an edited version an icon.

[egophiliac]

SHE'S DONE! after a thousand years, she's finally done! ...or at least I'm done with her! (tumblr please don't absolutely destroy my gifs, I am begging you)

(this is not an edit, I drew her from scratch! please do not tag or treat as an edit!)

now you know the real reason I haven't been obsessively drawing Meleanor, which is that I was in fact obsessively drawing Meleanor but in secret. plus a little background just for fun!

I am. not super happy with her rig; parts of her proved way more difficult than I expected and I very quickly hit the point of "okay, this is a silly fan project and not something that I'm being paid for or has to be really functional, time to MANUALLY KEY ALL THE VERTICES FOREVER". I think the end result came out pretty okay though! just...don't look too close. :')

I recorded some of the drawing part, so I might put that up later! in the meantime I am going to make her do stupid poses for my own enjoyment!

[roebeanstalk]

6/2 Update: Security deposit has been paid!! Thank you so much to everyone for the help 💚 I still have to pull together all of June rent for my current place which is $675. Thank you everyone for all of the help so far 💚

I’m asking for help with June rent, which is $675 and needs to be paid ASAP.

Cashapp https://cash.app/clawshot

venmo https://venmo.com/rmck89

ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/roebeanstalk

Any help at all is super appreciated. Every dollar adds up, and shares are so helpful too. I know that I’ve received so much help from people in the past and I can’t thank you all enough. I hope that this is the last of these that I have to do.

Needs:

June rent: $23/$675

Security Deposit: $495/495 Paid 💚

Bonus:

July rent (First month at new place): $495

Movers + Uhaul: $300-350

More info on my situation under the cut!

Thank you so, so so much.

I have a history of mental health issues, and as a result I have a very difficult time getting and maintaining employment. My mental health also impacts my ability to keep up with and complete freelance/commission work in a timely manner. While I have made some incredible steps forward lately thanks to the right combo of therapy, medication, and a support system, I am still not at a point where I am self-sufficient yet. I am getting there – and I am committed to keep trying no matter what.

Original post blurb, taken out of main post since deposit has been paid:

My landlord has decided not to move forward with me as a tenant due to my history with payment/mental health. While this is frustrating as heck, it’s allowed me to find a better, more affordable housing situation. I have signed a lease at a new place and move in July 1st!Once the deposit is paid, my space on the lease is officially secured and I am good to go. This is the main thing that I am looking for help with.

Why I need help:

This new housing situation is incredible for me – it’s a room in a quiet house with two other queer folk, and the rent is very affordable compared to my current situation. The new place is $485/month, the current place is $675/month. Even with utilities, my total overhead for shelter will cost less than rent at my current place. If I can secure my spot in this house and move forward, I see such a clear path forward for me in terms of self-improvement and self-sufficiency.

For the first time in 15 years, I feel like I can tackle the things ahead of me. If you’re able to help out I would really, really appreciate it.

What I’m doing:

I am job hunting for something that works well for my situation. With the cost of rent, I think that a part time job will be able to cover it. The process of getting a job is difficult for me, but I am committed to continuing to work at it.

On the art front, I have occasional comic coloring jobs that help me out. I also have commissions – I have finally been moving forward at a good rate and have been really happy with my work. In time, this will be able to be a more standard income route. I also have a Patreon that brings in about $65/month.

Cashapp https://cash.app/clawshot / venmo https://venmo.com/rmck89 / ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/roebeanstalk

Thank you so much for reading over all of this. Thank you to everyone who has helped with donations or kind words or reblogs. Thank you so much to every commissioner and customer who has been patient as hell with me on artwork, communication, and stickers. Thank you thank you thank you. Thanks to every single one of you I have been able to keep pushing myself forward, and I'm so happy to keep doing it and make good on everything. And eventually, give back to my community. I love you all so much, even though i don't know any of you that well. Thank youuuu. <3

[raguiras]

POV: Deuce's very first kiss from his crush

(Click for better quality)

I'm finally officially introducing my Yuu/OC x canon/Yumeship here! (✿◕‿◕) Writing this post took me forever, but I'm super happy with it!

Reblogs are super appreciated hehehe

Please be kind & DO NOT take inspiration from this ship. ^^"

(While Allen isn't me, I'm calling them a Yumeship because he's based on my younger self/me when I first started playing TWST & because the ship gives me a ridiculous amount of comfort!)

Allen x Deuce (aka Spade of Storms) is my ultimate comfort ship and they mean a ton to me.

These two are best friends who become lovers and closely mirror each other. Deuce is the delinquent with rather bad self-control who tries to be a model student, while Allen is a former honor student who's now a very lowkey delinquent with stellar self-control and a mature attitude.

Due to the fact that Allen and Deuce are so similar and yet the opposite of each other, they're able to excellently understand and support the other, and they help each other accept themselves.

Their ship blog: @spade-of-storms (facts, drabbles & more est. May 2024)

Now why exactly are these two perfect for each other? Well...

LONG TEXT AHEAD!

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Deuce:

Allen supports Deuce with all his heart. Instead of believing that someone "as stupid and temperamental" as Deuce could never become an honor student, Allen fully believes in him and encourages him. In comparison to when other people say it, these words actually have an incredibly strong impact on Deuce and are believable to him because he knows that Allen has similar experiences and speaks from them.

Allen doesn't think that Deuce is stupid in the slightest and views him as genuinely smart. To Allen, intelligence isn't determined by grades or academic abilities, but by morals, attitude, logic, and willingness — all of which Deuce has.

Allen doesn't try to change Deuce. Rather than turning Deuce into a full-on honor student and role model, which he isn't by nature, Allen prefers for Deuce to stay true to himself and work towards his goal while not suppressing any aspect of who he is — Allen knows exactly that forcefully becoming someone you naturally aren't would cause more issues than it would fix. In order to assist Deuce with staying true to himself while working towards his desired self, Allen does several things:

Allen lets Deuce be his 100% authentic self when they're together. Deuce tries extremely hard to always be polite and serious in order to maintain his reputation and not resort to old habits, but Allen, being very impulsive and easily angered himself, knows just too well that suppressing one's feelings and true nature isn't the way to go. When they're together, Deuce can openly rant about topics, use insults towards the people who angered him, and show his emotions without having to worry about how others perceive him or about how it might mess up his reputation — Allen would never judge Deuce nor share his secrets with others. This way, Deuce can be himself without restraints while also maintaining the way he wants others to perceive him.

Allen allows Deuce to be a delinquent in a safe, harmless way. If Deuce ever feels like doing something forbidden without breaking rules or staining his reputation, Allen (a very lowkey delinquent) has just the ideas for him. This provides a comfortable space for Deuce to live out his tendencies without falling back into bad habits.

Allen is able to introduce Deuce to a wide range of healthy coping mechanisms that work for him. Allen is a much angrier person than Deuce and is equally impulsive, but has stellar self-control due to the methods he uses, and passes them down to Deuce. As a result, Deuce doesn't feel the need to immediately lash out at others anymore and manages to become calmer and much more mature, taking steps into his desired direction.

Allen helps Deuce channel his "negative traits" into positive/helpful ones. With Allen's assistance, methods, reassuring words and unique view on things, Deuce learns how to use the qualities that he used to hate about himself to his advantage. Suddenly Deuce's anger is no longer a hindrance, but a source of energy and motivation.

Allen admires the things Deuce hates about himself. While Deuce wishes he wasn't as hot-headed, Allen views it as an amazing trait and sees the passion and longing for justice behind Deuce's fiery attitude. Additionally, Allen is able to help Deuce see the positive side of these traits, and aids him in channelling them into something good to use to his advantage (see above).

Allen is the only person to fully get through to Deuce. Due to them essentially having the same experiences, opinions, wishes and morals, Deuce felt comfortable trusting Allen with every last bit of his heart (in comparison to other friends) — not to mention that the way Allen was able to help Deuce so intensely and actually talked to him the way he needed it also played a role! Allen has his way with words and knew exactly how to talk to Deuce from the beginning.

Deuce can genuinely open up about his self-esteem to Allen. It's been heavily hinted at in the game several times that Deuce thinks incredibly lowly of himself, but this topic is usually cut short and he doesn't talk about it further with the canon Yuu. With Allen, however, Deuce can open up all he wants to. He knows that Allen has similar experiences and struggles with self-worth related issues himself, therefore not only not judging Deuce, but also fully understanding him.

Allen perfectly understands Deuce's past. Having been feared, avoided and known to be a delinquent/bad kid himself, Allen even understands the details extremely well. Neither of the two ever had a proper friend until they met each other on their first day at NRC.

Allen successfully helps Deuce with his studies despite hating school. Seeing how Deuce needs help, Allen (the "gifted kid") gladly volunteers, even though he's no longer interested in class and has sworn to drop the "honor student" facade himself. Due to Allen's easy explanations, methods, photographic memory and capability to catch on quickly, Deuce actually manages to improve his test results by 1-2 grades.

Allen's study methods are unique, which helps Deuce & is necessary for him. Being a slow learner (I also hc him to have some sort of intellectual disability), Deuce requires rather unique approaches to topics. As Allen is well-versed with both studying and psychology and also keeps Deuce's exact issues in mind, he's able to perfectly tailor methods and mnemonic bridges that actually work out for Deuce.

Allen makes sure that Deuce's desire to be a model student is & stays healthy. A fair part of Allen's trauma stems from being an honor student himself and having unrealistically high expectations regarding grades and attitude shoved down his throat by everyone at school (including himself), so he pays a lot of attention that the same doesn't happen to Deuce.

Allen respects Deuce a ton. Not only is Deuce determined, passionate, loyal, honest and eager, but he has the same core values as Allen, too. In Allen's opinion, finding someone with these traits is not only rare, but immediately makes them endearing to him.

Allen is patient with Deuce. He understands that Deuce occasionally has a difficult time processing and understanding things, and he isn't bothered by it in the slightest. This means even more when you consider that Allen is generally a very impatient person and is only able to be patient with those he truly loves and trusts.

Allen fills Deuce in when he doesn't understand something. Due to Allen being able to catch on extremely quickly, he can immediately explain things and situations to Deuce, helping him out and allowing him to get everything right from the beginning.

Allen indirectly protects Deuce. Known for being intimidating (in a good way), quick-witted, sly and a skilled schemer, most people — including those who enjoy picking on Deuce — shy away from Allen and avoid getting in trouble with his friends.

Allen stops Deuce from getting into fights. Whenever Deuce is about to get into a fight anyway, Allen gently but sternly reminds him of both his goal and the healthier coping mechanisms.

Allen understands that Deuce dislikes being picked on. Allen, being a sensitive person, hates it himself, and he actively tells off everyone who dares to make fun of Deuce or call him "Loosey Deucey". At times, Allen even gets snappy because of the inappropriate nicknames or insults directed at Deuce.

Allen inspires Deuce. Him being skilled at a variety of things and just logical in general gives Deuce the motivation to achieve the same. Deuce doesn't compare himself to Allen, either, and views him as an inspiration. If Allen can control himself and get positive things out of his negative traits, so can Deuce, right?! Not to mention that Allen is extremely tough and pulls through no matter what despite his mental and physical state...

Allen's maturity subconsciously wears off on Deuce. Even outside of the fact that Allen helps him grow and improve a lot through all the ways mentioned before, Deuce sometimes also subconsciously copies his boyfriend's mature attitude or asks himself what Allen would do in certain situations.

Allen is an advisor to Deuce. Deuce struggles with planning ahead, and Allen — a big-time overthinker who's extremely competent at scheming — is able to assist him. As a result, Deuce makes less bad decisions.

Allen loves blastcycles. Deuce can rant about them to Allen for hours, and the two often go on blastcycle dates together. Nothing is more fun than clinging onto your partner while driving at full speed!

Allen values Deuce's company like no other. Deuce regularly feels like a nobody, and Allen takes that feeling from him due to how much he connects with him and likes having him around.

BONUS: Allen is not only beautiful but also has an incredibly strong personality, drive, and determination and hasn't given up despite everything that happened to him. Deuce is a massive simp and his humongous crush on Allen has always been obvious due to how Deuce just can't shut up about him.

Allen:

Deuce loves and accepts Allen's body. As we have seen through his interactions with Azul and Epel, Deuce is very protective of people who don't fit the norm, and Allen is another such person — an intersex boy who was bullied for his unconventional body. Deuce has not only sworn to protect Allen from any possible discrimination, but also loves his body dearly and thinks he's super hot.

Deuce gives Allen a sense of stability. Allen's life was all about short-lived fake joys and prevailing negativity prior to coming to Twisted Wonderland, which made him feel disconnected from many things and people and gave him the feeling that everything is temporary anyway. However, Deuce's fierce loyalty and the strength of their relationship prove Allen wrong — yes, there can indeed be things in life that last forever.

Deuce's utter affection warms Allen's empty heart. Allen was never loved by anyone but his parents, who he thinks only love him because he's their son. Other than that, he never experienced love, affection, ... or even mere friendship. He was alone... until he met Deuce, who he somehow immediately connected with. It was as if their friendship was predestined by the universe... and with every day, Deuce's affection for Allen only grew.

Deuce genuinely admires Allen. Seeing how Allen always does his best, works hard, has ambitions and aims to improve impresses Deuce a ton. This is extremely healing for Allen, whose efforts were never properly recognized or rewarded before and who thinks that he needs to perfect at everything in order to be "someone".

Deuce makes Allen feel useful and resourceful. Allen often believes that he has no worth and could never make a change for the better no matter how much he tries, but seeing just how much he's able to help Deuce with a wide range of things proves Allen wrong — he's indeed capable of a lot of things. Not to mention that Deuce even passes some of Allen's tips down to Epel!

Deuce's honesty is refreshing to Allen. After being lied to and tricked by about anyone Allen ever knew before coming to Twisted Wonderland, Deuce's natural honesty and loyalty are an unfamiliar but utterly wonderful experience for Allen.

Deuce makes Allen feel understood. Allen often believes that others would view him as a monster if they were aware of his secret anger and opinions, but Deuce shares many of them. These two can openly talk about their values together and Allen feels extremely understood because of it — a feeling he barely ever experiences with other people.

Deuce helps Allen enjoy the moment. While he has some overthinking tendencies himself, Deuce is much more spontaneous than Allen and tends to act more on impulse. As a result, he can show his ways to Allen, allowing the overthinker to finally relax and think about his problems a little less.

Deuce doesn't hesitate to stand up for Allen. The fact that Allen was bullied for something he can't change in the past saddens and angers Deuce, and he has sworn to himself that he'll always protect his boyfriend. If there should ever be another situation where Allen gets bullied, Deuce won't hesitate to absolutely throw hands — this is not being a bad person and picking fights, it's standing up for an innocent person whose life was ruined by malice. Deuce wouldn't regret it in the slightest anymore, especially since Allen has helped him learn than anger isn't a bad thing.

Deuce helps Allen with becoming a proper mage. When Allen first gains magic during the final quarter of the school year, he has absolutely no control over it and is partially even avoided due to being a "walking health hazard". Deuce, however, sees this as the perfect time to pay Allen back for helping him study theory and decides to assist Allen with practical things. Through Deuce's determination and belief in him, Allen is able to improve much quicker than he would've without Deuce's help.

BONUS: Deuce is the warmth and honesty that Allen needs in his life. The boy's mere presence lights up Allen's day and Deuce's careful physical affection makes him feel like the most cherished person in the universe.

What else is there to them? (examples)

Both are extremely close with their families.

Due to being so similar and sharing many personality traits, loving each other so deeply allowed them to realize that they can easily love and accept themselves, too.

Deuce's previous incarnation had a crush on Allen's, who died way too early. In this life, the regrets of the past are being fixed.

Allen's the brain, Deuce is the brawn.

They're both extremely cuddly with each other.

LOTS OF COMPLIMENTS (from both sides).

Deuce often gifts Allen plushies.

Allen and Deuce are basically inseparable by now.

If you hang out with Deuce, you have to suffer through at least one tiny ramble about Allen.

...and much more that can be found on @spade-of-storms!

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you like the art & ship and are looking forward to more of them! (✿◕‿◕)

EDIT: Please do not take inspiration from this ship. ;-;

[junkissed]

can't get you out of my head

member — fwb!vernon x f reader genre — smut, like a little tiny bit of angst? with a happy ending word count — 2.4k synopsis — so what if calling your fuck buddy every other day is a little excessive? maybe you're just in love with him. smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, lots and lots of kissing, some dacryphilia, multiple orgasms, begging, creampie warnings — vernon is called hansol - i don't usually do that but just go with it; vernon is kind of a sweetheart tbh this ended up being pretty soft notes — june is back !! i've really been struggling to write these past few months so i'm actually super proud that i was able to sit down and write this as fast as i did. i can't promise another fic anytime soon or any kind of consistent uploads, but i hope you enjoy this meager offering! thanks for the support even while i've been gone :) also this is based on a dream i had about vernon the other day and i could not stop thinking about it it was driving me crazy, so everyone say thank you to my brain or the sandman or whoever put that idea in my dreams because this fic is a result of it. if there are mistakes pls ignore i wrote this at 2am

the thing you remember most about hansol is his lips.

the first time you kissed him was like opening a door to a world you'd never known existed. your past hookups had been terrible kissers, or even worse—hadn't even tried to kiss you at all. you were sick of the boring, underwhelming sex with men who couldn't care less if you got off or not. but some god or being in the universe must've been looking out for you, because finding hansol was nothing short of a miracle.

it was so good, you weren't even that embarrassed when you'd desperately texted him a couple of nights later, practically begging him to come over and fuck you again. he was burned into your brain, the feeling of his mouth locked with yours seared so deep in your memory you couldn't erase him if you tried, but it wasn't exactly like you wanted to. 

he hadn't explicitly said you would only be a one night stand, but you usually didn't hang around the same guy for too long, and he didn't really seem like the commitment type anyway. but when you find something this good, you don't let it go, and somehow you both knew that whatever this was, it was too good to pass up on.

so it wasn't really a surprise when you found yourself on his couch, straddling his lap in the late hours of the night for the third time this week. 

like you remembered, his lips were warm and soft, his cheek brushing against yours as you melted into him. you could kiss him for hours and not notice the time passing at all, so focused on the rhythm of his mouth working you up more than anything you'd done with any man you'd slept with before.

the heat of his hands resting on your hips sends shivers up and down your spine, unconsciously arching towards him as his tongue pushes into your mouth.

one gentle hand travels carefully up beneath your shirt, tracing the skin of your stomach before stopping at your breast, your heartbeat racing beneath his palm.

your breath is hot on his cheek as you readjust your position, slipping your knees onto either side of his hips and sinking down to straddle his lap. your clothed cunt throbs as he presses his bulge against the inside of your thigh, and you don't hold back the open-mouthed moan that escapes you as his other hand quickly reaches up to angle your jaw and guide your lips back to his.

you push your hips down a little harder on him and his nails dig into your breast. his grip tightens a little as his hips cant up against you, desperate for more pressure against his strained cock.

your eyelids flutter as his other hand tilts your chin upwards, finally breaking away from your mouth only to reattach his lips at the base of your jaw. his tongue laves over your skin before he starts to suck, and you shiver when he pulls back and cold air hits the wet patch of spit on your neck.

you have to focus hard not to drool when you open your eyes and catch a glimpse of his face, lust-glazed eyes staring up at you through his long, thick lashes, his intense gaze fixed on you.

if you ever get past this weird in-between stage of talking but not talking, maybe you'll tell him how jealous you are of his beautiful, natural eyelashes. if you ever actually get to have a conversation with him outside of calling to hook up, maybe you'll tell him how nice his lips are. you'll tell him how soft his hands are and how he's by far the best person you've ever slept with, leaps and bounds better than all the rest, and—

before you fully realize what's happening, you feel your shirt being pulled over your head and hansol's lips have made their way down to your chest. without a sound his hands roam your body, fingers drawing invisible lines over your bare skin and leaving trails of goosebumps with every touch.

he doesn't talk much during sex, or maybe you just don't know each other well enough yet for him to have much to say. aside from the way he occasionally murmurs about how perfect you are — an oddly intimate thing to say to someone who's just a friend with benefits, but coming from him it sounds so casual — the only words you ever get out of him are curses and whimpered pleas.

the only words he ever gets out of you are shamelessly begging him, please kiss me again, please, hansol; and you're always too far gone to care about how whiny you sound, because you need his lips on you so fucking bad you think you might just die without them. but he always obliges, quickening the speed of his thrusts and wrapping his arms around you tighter so he can kiss you deeper, until your lips are numb and you can still feel the weight of him holding you even hours after he's gone.

so maybe you do have a teeny tiny crush on hansol. anyone in their right mind would, and when he's finished with you tonight you're sure you won't have much mind left to even think about it. certainly this is a problem for another day, a day when you'll inevitably call him again so he can make you lose your mind all over again and you won't have to think about how much you like him, and you'll continue like that for who knows how long. 

maybe he'll get bored of you, or find someone else, or move to another city too far for you to justify travelling for a relationship that isn't even a relationship…

… but then he lets out a little groan and you fall back into reality, the reality where you've been making out with him for the past half hour and he quietly but confidently lets you know if he doesn't get his dick out soon he's definitely going to cum in his pants and not only will it make him look like a loser but he also won't get to fuck you, which is the whole reason you asked him to meet up tonight, right?

well, yeah, you guess, but a part of you knows there's more to it than that. but that's not really a conversation for right now.

you lean down to press another chaste kiss against those lips that you can't stop thinking about, and your fingers pull his t-shirt over his head before finding their way down to the button at the top of his jeans.

you've had his cock inside you more times than you think you deserve, but still your stomach bubbles with excitement as he lifts his hips and shimmies out of his pants, the outline against his briefs more than enough to make your mouth water before he slips those off, too.

for tonight, you're the recipient of his undivided attention. you alone get to have him and his perfect cock all to yourself; maybe not forever, but for right now, and that's all you really need.

he presses his hand against his bulge, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure as you stand up from his lap to kick off your pants and underwear.

you must have been taking too long for his liking, though, because as soon as you're fully nude his hands tug impatiently at your waist and pull you back down onto him. 

he lets out a heavy sigh, the head of his cock pressed deliciously against your clit as you start to rock your hips back and forth.

but before long his hands bring you to a stop and he lets out his usual string of pleas to let him fuck you, and now it's your turn to sigh in relief as he pushes into you, the stretch so natural like he was the only one who was made to sit you on his lap.

he doesn't move right away. he never moves right away, whether to give you a chance to adjust or maybe because he himself can't handle the feeling. either way, you always struggle to take in a shaky breath as your walls flutter around him, perfectly thick and long that you could probably cum untouched like this if you sat there for long enough.

but as badly as you want to never move and let him cockwarm you for hours, he always eventually moves. 

he starts out slow, just a few inches at a time, a gentle in and out that's almost romantic until you feel like you can breathe normally again— right before he knocks the breath out of you, increasing his pace until the room is filled with the loud sounds of skin against skin.

he always fucks you like it's been months since he's came, even though you know for a fact it was last thursday and all over your stomach. all you can do now is hang onto his broad shoulders for dear life, nails scratching helplessly at his muscles as he carries you up and over the edge, pushing you into the first of many orgasms tonight.

sometimes he'll make a comment about how wet you get when he fucks you like this, rough and fast as he pounds into you like there's no tomorrow. and that's when you'll agree, yes you love it so much, yes he's so good, yes you need more and please, please keep going.

if it were anyone else they'd probably smirk at that, satisfied with the momentary boost to their ego. but that's what you love about hansol, is that he's not anyone else: he'll take those words and use them to somehow fuck you even rougher and even faster, so rough and so fast that sometimes tears will start to roll down your cheeks, and that's usually about when you start begging him to kiss you.

you can't help it. the way he bounces you so effortlessly on his cock, his lips parted and beads of sweat trickling down his neck, you need him bad. you want to be closer to him, closer than you know is physically possible but damn if you won't try anyway.

throwing your hands around his neck and falling against his chest, tears still streaming from your eyes as you plead with him, repeating his name over and over and over like you've lost your mind and he's the only thing left. in all honesty, maybe he is.

he quietly shushes you and tilts his chin up to capture your lips in the kiss you so badly crave, and it's everything you need and more and somehow still not enough but you can't think straight anymore when his cock is hitting you just right and his mouth is also just right and each vein, each curve, each ridge, drags perfectly along your walls and he's splitting you open and goddamn you are ruined for anybody else.

you feel like you're skirting in and out of consciousness when you cum again, squeezing around his cock so tight that even his powerful thrusts can't continue at their current pace.

it isn't long before he lets go too, holding you flush against his body as he fills you up, painting your insides white with a breathy moan, and in a weird way it makes you feel kind of proud.

you both sit there for a moment, panting as you start to come down.

without even standing up you already know your legs are jell-o, but you don't really have time to think about that as hansol lifts you off his lap and sets you carefully on the couch, leaving you with another kiss before he stands up and disappears down the hall, returning seconds later with a towel that looks suspiciously new.

you'd asked him about his bathroom towels last time you'd been over at his place. a mismatched collection of white and brown and aquamarine that he'd taken with him when he'd moved out of his parent's house, he said, he'd never really had a reason to buy a set of his own. 

the grey cloth in his hand now that he uses to gently wipe between your legs is one you don't remember seeing.

he finishes and you want him to kiss you again, but you're too shy to ask now so he leaves you again with just a kind smile this time.

you've put most of your wrinkled clothes back on by the time he comes back. he offers to drive you home every time afterwards, but you always insisted you were fine, already feeling like you'd overstayed your welcome.

this time he doesn't offer, though, just quietly sits down next to you to pull on his own clothes until you're both fully dressed.

he speaks before the awkward silence has time to set in.

"have you been seeing anybody else?" he asks, and it's probably the longest sentence he's spoken to you outside of when he's fucking you.

it takes you a couple seconds to say no. god, you sound like a loser, but you couldn't lie to him. since the very first time with hansol the thought of seeing anyone besides him hadn't even crossed your mind. just like you thought; ruined.

it takes him a couple seconds to reply, too. 

"good," he says, and you could almost swear his cheeks are pinker than usual as he admits that he hasn't been with anyone, either. "could we keep it that way?"

your breath catches a little. "yeah?"

"yeah," he answers. "whatever… this is, i like it. and i like you."

and just like that, things make sense. 

"maybe, would you, y'know, wanna stay this time?" he asks, and you can't hide the grin on your face as you lean over and kiss him again, your answer evident in the way your hand falls against his warm chest and your fingers weave gently through his hair.

everything is so simple with hansol.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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[lucy90712]

kinda sad but reader distancing herself from jude bc she’s pregnant and don’t know how to tell him and he’s really scared bc he thinks she’s gonna leave him

A/n: I had to give this a happy ending as I have far too much angst to write that I needed a pick me up

Do it. Just do it. 

I have to keep telling myself those few words. In front of me sits a pregnancy test that I can't get myself to take as I don't want to know the answer. Jude and I have always been really careful as he doesn't want kids, I don't mind either way but because he doesn't want them we always try to be super safe. Despite that for the last few weeks I've just not felt right I've been feeling really nauseous and my period is now a week late which really only means one thing I just didn't want to believe it. As much as I know I'm almost definitely pregnant I don't want to take the test as that will confirm it and then I'll have to deal with the consequences.

How would I tell Jude? Would he leave me? Can I raise a baby on my own? All of those questions swirled round my brain as I still just stared at the test. Jude will definitely not be happy but if I am pregnant I don't want to get rid of the baby as I don't think I could handle all the emotions that come with that. If I don't get rid of the baby I can definitely see Jude breaking up with me which I understand he doesn't want kids and he's just starting out his career at Real Madrid he won't want a baby to look after so I'll probably be on my own in a city I don't know with no support. 

It got to the point that all of the questions were starting to eat away at me so to forget about them I decided just to take the test. What no one tells you about taking a pregnancy test is that the few minute wait for the result feels like a century I swear I was pacing back and forth forever before the screen displayed the result. I chose to take a digital test as it would tell me how many weeks I was as that's something I wanted to know too but then I realised that knowing how far along I am will make it feel a whole lot more real. There was no surprise when I finally looked at the test and it said pregnant 4-5 weeks. 

Finally seeing it confirmed made it impossible to hold back my tears any longer. Instinctively my hand went to my stomach as I thought about how in a few short months I will have a baby the baby that is currently growing inside me. The tears were a mix of happiness as somehow I was actually happy to know I was pregnant and anxiety as I have no idea what the future holds. 

~~~~~~~~~~

It has been a month since I found out I was pregnant and I'm now 10 weeks along. A few weeks back I went for my first ultrasound and got to see the baby and make sure everything was ok which it was. Jude still doesn't know, I've tried to tell him so many times but I just can't do it I either chicken out or the moment just doesn't feel right. I know I need to tell him soon as I'm already starting to develop a small bump which will only get bigger and sometimes I think Jude gets a bit suspicious when I won't eat certain things I usually love as I know they will make me sick. 

Over the past month I have definitely been a lot more distant with Jude which has meant he hasn't noticed when I've had really bad sickness days and that I have a small bump growing. It's hard hiding such a big secret from him which is part of why I've been so distant because I just want to tell him and for us to be a happy family but I know it won't go that way and I can't bare the thought of that. I love Jude so much and I don't want to ruin our relationship but I know at some point I'll have to tell him and deal with whatever heartbreak comes along with that. 

No one apart from me knows about my pregnancy not even my parents or my friends I have kept it a complete secret. Today though I'm seeing my friends and I know they are getting a bit suspicious as when we go out I'm always tired and I don't drink anymore. We aren't doing much today just going for brunch so I got up after Jude left for training and went to where we were supposed to meet. Once everyone was there we went in and got a table and I lasted less than a minute before the smell of someone's food made me feel so nauseous that I had to run to the bathroom. My best friend joined me to make sure I was ok but I knew she wasn't convinced when I said I was fine. 

"Are you ok?" The rest of the group asked 

"Yeah I'm fine" I said 

"What's going on girl you've been acting weird for a while now" my best friend said 

"Ok you guys can't say anything to anyone but I'm pregnant I found out a month ago and I've been hiding it because Jude doesn't want kids and I don't know how to tell him" I admitted 

None of them really knew what to say they all knew that Jude didn't want kids and a baby was never supposed to be part of our lives so they were as shocked as I was. After the initial shock they all started giving me advice and telling me everything would be fine. They all tried to reassure me that Jude wouldn't leave me when he found out but they did say I need to tell him at some point soon and I agree but it's hard to find the right words to say. 

Once I got back home I just sat in silence thinking about life and how I got to this point. I was so consumed with my thoughts that I didn’t hear the front door opening or Jude calling my name as he entered the house with increased panic when I didn’t reply. I only came back to reality when he was stood in front of me catching his breath after I nearly gave him a heart attack. There was a lot of staring at each other as I tried to find something to say while he tried to read me and work out what I was thinking. 

“Love are you ok and before you tell me you’re fine I know you’re not you’ve been acting strange for a while and I just want to know what I can do to make things better” he said 

Hearing him say that was too much for me I just burst into tears right in front of him. His arms made their way around me and he tried to calm me down but that didn’t help. This last month I’ve held back all of my emotions about this whole situation and now they are coming out all at once and I can’t hold them back any longer. I tried to tell him but the words couldn’t escape my mouth so instead I grabbed his hand and took him upstairs with me. I kept my pregnancy test and ultrasound pictures hidden away in my wardrobe so I found them and just placed them in Jude’s hands. This isn’t how I wanted to tell him but I think it’s the only way I can do it without having another breakdown. 

“What is this?” He asked 

“I’m pregnant” I said 

“I’m sorry I know you don’t want kids and we are always careful I don’t know how it happened and I just I’m just sorry” I rambled 

“Hey it’s ok calm down how long have you known?” He asked 

“I’ve known for a month and I’m 10 weeks now” I said 

“Wow we are going to be parents” he said hugging me tightly 

“Wait you aren’t mad” I questioned 

“No of course I’m not mad I’m actually really happy I know I said I didn’t want kids but more recently I started to change my mind especially seeing you with all the guys kids it made me want that with you I couldn’t be happier right now” he said 

“So you aren’t going to leave me?” I asked 

“Of course not I can’t wait to go through this whole journey with you I’m just sad I haven’t been there for you until now” he said 

Hearing that was such a relief but not at all what I expected. I’ve always been told things happen for a reason and this is one of those things I guess. Naturally Jude had a lot of questions so I told him everything like everything I know about the baby and how I’ve been feeling as he wanted to know how I’ve been coping. It felt so good to finally tell him everything and he seemed so genuinely happy which allowed me to actually think about how excited I am too as that’s something I’ve pushed away until now. 

After a long conversation we both went silent and just took a minute to take in what has just happened. As we sat there Jude’s hand made its way to my shirt which he lifted up slightly and just rested his hand on my tiny bump. I watched as the smile on his face got even bigger than it was before I could see him look at my almost non existent bump with so much love that it almost made me cry. This whole thing doesn’t seem anywhere near as scary now that I know Jude is here to support me and I already know he’s going to be the best dad if he loves our baby this much already. 

[dresshistorynerd]

Sewing mid-16th century Venetian dress in doll scale

My parents moved from my childhood home, so I needed to finally take all my old toys I want to keep to store myself, including my dolls. For a long while I've been thinking it might by fun to sew tiny historical clothing for dolls. I love watching doll customization videos, they are so satisfying, and I just really love it, when there's a normal sized thing and then you make it tiny. Especially if it's still functional and made from correct materials. I can't explain it better than tiny versions of bigger things just make me vibrate on higher level. Now that I have my dolls in my home and a box full of fabric scraps, I have everything I need to just start sewing. So I did. And it was extremely fun. I have already started working on a 1890s doll outfit.

This will show my age (not that it doesn't read in my bio), but my dolls are all mainly My Scenes. I was Team My Scene in the early 2000s Bratz vs. My Scene wars. I did not like the proportions of Bratzes. All my My Scenes are Madison, she was my girl.

Here's all the items I made. I tried to use as much historical methods as was possible on doll scale and hand-sewed everything. I made a shift, hose, dress, necklace, earrings, partlet and shoes. I did almost make detachable sleeves, but I wasn't happy with them and I will need to remake them. It took me so long to finish one sleeve and I was very frustrated when I wasn't happy with the result, so I will need some time to make a second attempt.

Underlayer

I have finer white cotton than linen so I used the cotton for the shift and partlet, even though cotton wasn't really used widely at the time, definitely not in underwear, but it worked better in this scale. I didn't have thin enough wool for the hose, so I used fabric from my old thin stockings. Knitted stockings were not quite yet a thing so that's not very accurate, but that's the best I got. I choose red since red hose seemed to have been pretty common based on Venetian paintings, where the hose are shown. I used tiny beads I had lying around as buttons for the sleeves.

I'm not super happy with the neckline. I couldn't come up with a good way to finish gathered neckline on this scale without making it bulky. In future I will try something else.

Overgarments

Dress

The dress itself is made from the remaining scraps of the lovely Latvian linen I bought many years ago from Riga and have already made several garments from. The skirt is cartridge pleated, though the pleats at places behave a little weirdly due to the scale. I used semi heavy linen as lining and finished the panels separately as was typical in 16th century. I didn't use any boning equivalent, but I use cording to reinforce the laced opening. I of course sewed tiny lacing holes, which was very fun. The cord for the lacing I plaited from heavy thread.

Here's couple of examples from 1550s and 1560s Venice I used as basis for the dress.

Partlet

A Venetian renaissance woman of course needs her boob window partlet. Unfortunately I didn't have any super sheer linen or silk to make the fashionable sheer look.

Shoes

The shoes are chopines, which were very fashionable in Venice at the time. They were platform slippers with wooden base, which were covered with leather or fancy fabrics, like brocade or velvet. I didn't make the heels super tall since I was going for more toned down merchant/artisan class sort of vibe, and the very tall were used by upper class women and courtesans. I carved the heels from soft wood and covered them with sateen.

For reference here's couple of 16th century Venetian chopines.

[bluegiragi]

Could we have some more Monster AU lore? Literally about anything in the universe, I really love your lore drops.

well if you insist...(jk i love talking about lore and I'm so super happy you guys let me infodump like this!!)

who wants to learn about dragons and hoards?

So a lot of people mistake hoards as the result of a dragon's passing interests but in reality (for the types of dragon that have this hoard instinct) it's an intense and obsessive compulsion.

Dragons pack a lot of firepower into a relatively dense body, and hoards give them an opportunity to put all that energy somewhere by providing for a hoard's 'needs', whatever they are. In the old times, it was most common for dragons to hoard wealth, land or knowledge but as time went on the variety in subject expanded. Now, hoards can range from innocuous/harmless topics like baseball cards to more complex subjects (like literal living beings).

The darker side to hoard instinct is how intense and possessive it is - the desire to monopolise and satisfy the needs of a hoard is all-encompassing, and it's not unheard of for dragons to go too far. Just like dating, dragons typically go through a few hoards in their lifetime (like passing hyper-fixations) before they find the one thing that'll be their hoard until they die. And after they find that one thing, the rest of their life is in some way dedicated to protecting, caring for and 'leaving their mark' on that thing. A big part of maturing for dragons is learning the self restraint required to not let these urges overtake them and turn them senseless.

Of all topics, hoards that center living beings are by far the most complex simply because living beings have agency and can't be entirely controlled. Price's hoard is the 141, and he has learned over time how to respect the lives of his boys. However, right after his and Ghost's final clash with Roba which resulted in life-changing events for both of them, he realised that he'd already subconsciously made Ghost 'hoard' in his mind.

The two of them fell into a co-dependent and borderline toxic relationship during their recovery. For Ghost, it was a combination of trauma-bonding and also a way to deal with his new powers/afflictions as a wraith. For Price, the recent loss of his wing had him falling back on other measures to help cling onto his dragon identity, and he overcompensated by going way too far on what was already a very fresh and concentrated hoard response. Of course there was still sincere affection backing up all of this, but they both ended up spiralling into something together.

It's always tough being THE hoard starter, as whatever it is will get an exorbitant response that lessens the more a hoard grows. It didn't help that Simon was in one of the most vulnerable and complicated moments of his life post-wraith-transformation. The co-dependency and possessiveness got to a point where higher-ups had to re-instate Price earlier than they wanted to and begin sending him out on missions again so that they could have some time apart. On one of those missions, Price met Gaz, and then later on, Soap.

[drunkinyourbenz]

ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU

☆ SYNOPSIS: your parents' excitment about the election results left you with a pit of dread in your stomach. luckliy for you, you had billie, who helped you through it all.

☆ RELATIONSHIP: billie eilish x fem!reader

☆ WARNINGS: angst, comfort, politics, right wing family, implied homophobic family, long distance relationship (during tour)

☆ REQUESTED? yes, anon

☆ NOTE: hi my loves, i saw this request and just had to write it right away (literally wrote it in half an hour lmao) for anyone needing comfort as well as the anon who requested this, i hope you're doing okay. i'm not from america, but i'm also deeply dissapointed about the election results, and i feel for all of you who are there. i hope i did this request justice, i don't have a family who's like super against my views so i hope this is okay <3 anyone with family celebrating like the readers is in this story, please imagine me giving you the biggest hug rn, i hope you're coping okay. my dms are always open if you want to talk about anything at all, i love you all, please stay safe <33

☆ WORD COUNT: 1.2k words

you and billie had been dating for a while now, and she made you happier than anyone ever had before. she was your other half, and without her you would feel incomplete. you weren’t on tour with her, much to both of your disappointments. but you’d had personal things that took up your time at the start of tour, so the plan was that you’d join her once she came on tour to your city, and you’d join her for the rest of tour. despite not being on tour with her, your mind always drifted back to her, she had a permanent residence in your heart. 

so naturally, on election night, you sat in your room thinking about her. you wanted nothing more than to be held by her in this moment, you’d slipped away from dinner as soon as you could, but you could still hear your family’s excited chatter coming from downstairs. the fact that they were happy about the way it was going, the way they wanted a future that was so drastically different from the one you had in your mind… it stung. your parents genuinely wanted a future that you weren’t sure whether you had a place in, and you didn’t really know what to do with that information.

you were trying to stay off social media, to stay away from the news, because you knew it wouldn’t help you—you couldn’t change a thing. but every few minutes, you’d end up switching back to the tab on your laptop with the live updates, feeling a sense of dread settling in your stomach. you couldn’t quite comprehend how so many more people had voted for him, the man who made you genuinely fear for your future. 

so finally, you texted billie. you needed her comfort, even though it would just be her voice over a call. you needed her. 

can i call you??

billie replied not long after, her text simple. 

bils: ofc baby

her contact calling you came up on your screen before you could even move to call her, and you automatically accepted the face time. her face popped up on your phone after a moment, and as well as the tiredness from tour you’d been seeing so much of lately, she looked just as crestfallen as you. the two of you shared the same opinions on this, and you knew how much billie cared about it. 

just as the call loaded properly, you heard a loud cheer from downstairs, and you couldn’t stop the grimace that appeared on your face. billie’s lips curved down in a soft, sympathetic frown, “oh, baby.” 

a sigh left your lips, the sound somewhat defeated, “i just… i don’t know how they want that. it feels like they want a future that i’m not safe in–” billie cut you off with an understanding sigh, she knew that if she let you keep talking, you’d simply spiral. she knew what you meant, you felt a rift between you and your parents, you felt unsure of what that meant for your relationship with them. billie herself had never experienced it, with her own family being supportive and sharing her views, but she had always been good at comforting you. 

“i’m so sorry, baby. you know that me and my family have always got you, no matter what, yeah? we’ve got your back, we’re always here for you. all of us.” 

your lips curled into a soft pout, her words lessening the sadness you were feeling. “i love your family.”

she smiled softly at you, “and we love you. always.” 

you cracked a small smile at her words, the disappointment behind your eyes still very much evident, but you felt an overwhelming feeling of love for the people in your life. even if your blood-related family didn’t understand, you had your chosen family. that small fact that you had your people, who agreed with you on these things, it helped to soften the blow of your parents wanting the country to go down such a different path than you did. only slightly, but it helped. you felt the pain dull slightly. 

the two of you stayed on the phone for a while, billie distracting you from your parents downstairs by telling you about the tour so far. obviously, she was also upset about everything going on, but she knew you needed this support and that was more important than talking about it. she just wanted you to feel okay. you could feel the emotions hanging around both of you even through the phone, but you appreciated that she wasn’t mentioning them right now. you’d have plenty of time to talk about the election later, once you didn’t feel so despairing about the future. 

after about half an hour of the two of you just talking, you decided to ask her something. 

“bils?” 

“hmm?” she hummed, looking up as if she could sense the importance of what you were about to say even through one word. 

“do you… do you think i could join you on tour a bit earlier than planned? i just don’t know if i can stay in this house for any longer, it’s just–”

“of course.” 

her instant, firm reply cut off your rambling and you sighed in relief, “thank you–”

“don’t thank me, darling. i just want you to feel safe.” she paused, thinking, “you could join us on the minnesota dates, if you want. there’s two days there, so it gives you more time to get here. i can book you a flight–” 

you smiled at her considerate words, the way she was taking everything into account. oh, how you loved her. “that sounds perfect. and don’t book first class this time, jesus. i can put up with an economy flight, i’m used to them. plus,  i get to see you at the end of it.” 

she smiled warmly, “mm, you do. and then i’m wrapping you up in a massive hug and never letting you go, because i love you.” 

you giggled softly at her words, “i think i’m looking forward to seeing maggie more, actually.” 

billie rolled her eyes fondly, her mother just adored you. “i don’t blame you.” 

the two of you talked into the night, and were still on the call when you woke up. you weren’t aware that you’d fallen asleep, and you probably wouldn’t have if it weren’t for her soothing voice.

it was now the early hours of the morning, soft sunlight streaming through the curtains you’d forgotten to shut. the house had gone silent by now, your parents finally asleep, and you felt a tiny bit of peace just laying there in the silence. you looked at the screen for a moment, simply admiring her pretty sleeping face, the way her eyelashes fluttered slightly and her chest rose and fell with each breath. this time in a few days, you’d be in her arms again. 

you let out a soft sigh. the country may be falling apart by the seams, but you had billie. you had her, so you’d be okay. 

[anonyymouslyyours]

spencer's hands are SO hot and veiny, i want to bite them.

the other day i was thinking about having sex for the first time with s2 spencer, and both being so nervous, specially him, so you basically BEG for his hands, saying something like "your hand, please, i want your hand" grabbing his hand and guiding him so he can put his fingers deep inside you, and him being like "😲 you, uhm, you like my hands?"

idk im just a whore for his hands and s2 spencer

warnings; fingering , kissing , references to handjob/blowjob at end , inexperienced spencer

spencer and you had been dating for 6 months now. when you started dating, you knew he wasn't very experienced, but it had been half a year, and all you had done was kiss.

you knew he was attracted to you. after particularly heated kisses he'd always back away, the bulge in his pants obvious, and then leave muttering about having to take care of something.

you knw you were ready, and from a brief conversation you'd had with him, you knew he was too. so when he messaged you, after he'd been away for a couple days, telling you he would be home in the evening you decided to put a plan in motion.

you searched your wardrobe for the most.. revealing piece of clothing you could find, settling on a little black dress, which fit you perfectly. you bit your lip as you pulled out the only pair of mildly seductive panties you own, a light pink lacy set, you were sure he'd appreciate.

candles were lit, sheets were changed, perfume was sprayed and finally a knock sounded at the door.

fixing your dress nervously, you approached the door, opening it to reveal a disheveled spencer. his tie was crooked, and his usual slick back hair was all over the place. somehow, he still managed to look put together.

"hey." he said smiling, and stepping in to wrap you in a hug.

he stood back, eyes running up and down your body. your cheeks flushed red as you watched him, happy to see your efforts were noticed.

"you look.. very nice." he said, swallowing nervously. his hand reached up to pull at his collar, trying but failing to loosen it.

you step forward, swatting his hand away so you can take off his tie, you hold it in your hands, placing a kiss to his neck as you back away. spencer inhales sharply, eyebrows furrowing.

"do you, um.. want to sit down?" spencer said, placing his case on the hallway table.

"yes." you said, nodding and guiding him into the candlelight living room.

his eyes widened as he walked into the room, taking in the decorations you'd put up.

"wow.. is it our anniversary? wait no, that was a couple weeks ago.." spencer questions.

"no, i just wanted to have a nice night. with you."

you take his hand, guiding him down to the couch. you knew spencer was awkward, but right now he looked straight up uncomfortable. he positioned himself on one end of the couch, taking off his shoes and shuffling about.

"something wrong?" you ask, watching his body language.

"no, nothing at all.."

"are you sure?" you ask, rising an eyebrow at his obvious lie.

"you just look really nice, and i'm not sure why. i'm obviously not super experienced with the whole... dating thing and you know. but is there something you- uh want?" his eyes dart around the room, attempting to look anywhere but you.

you chuckle at his rambling, leaning forward a bit to get closer to him.

"well, i've been thinking.. maybe its time that we go a little." you pause, searching for the right word. "further."

spencers eyes widen, and he nods eagerly. you laugh at his reaction, as you crawl across the couch and onto his lap. his hands are held in the air, eyes watching you as you move into him.

"here." you instruct, placing his hands on your hips. you squirm slightly, until your in a comfortable position straddling him. a small smirk appears on your face, as you feel a small bulge poking into your thigh, a result of your movements.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean to uhh-" spencer says, referring to his little problem. spencer moves to get up, trying to cover himself when you stop him, grabbing his arms and locking your thighs around his. a gasp leaves his lips, as you roll your hips ever so slightly against his.

"jesus-" he mumbles, as you continue your movements.

you lean forward, pausing your grinding briefly, to kiss him. you reach your hands up to cup his cheeks, pulling his face in closer. his hand squeezes your waist, on instinct, and you moan into his mouth. shook covers your body, as you break the kiss, taking in spencers surprised expression. your eyes flit down to his hands noticing, and not for the first time, the veins that you run along them, which you find unexplainably attractive. his eyes follow yours, and he moves his hand from your waist, reaching up to cup your cheek, like you had done before.

he watches as your eyelids flutter at the notion, and you smile softly. to your surprise, spencers thumb moves to press on your bottom lip softly. you part your lips, allowing his thumb to slip through them. your tongues circles around it, sucking slightly. spencer watches you carefully, now painfully aware of the erection thats prodding against your panties, covered by your skirt. he pulls his hand away from you, not missing the soft whine that falls from your lips. you reach out grabbing at his hand and pulling it down to your skirt, flipping it up to reveal your panties.

spencer groans at the sight, and your cheeks heat at his reaction.

"spencer.. can you- touch me?"

"with my hand..?" he questions, a confused expression on his face.

"please, i want your hands."

you pull your panties to the side, grabbing his hand and guiding it down towards your clit. spencers eyes are focused, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth, as you begin to guide his finger to circle your clit. you take your hand back, and spencer continues the motion. a moan falls from your lips, your head lolling back slightly.

"now just.." you reach to guide his hand down to your entrance.

his brows raise, as if to confirm what your asking, and you nod. his finger slips into your entrance, and your eyes roll back into your head at the feeling, a loud moan leaving your mouth. spencers mouth parts in shock at your reaction.

"you, uhm, like my hands?" he asks, and you nod quickly, affirming his thoughts.

"deeper, please spence." you gasp out.

spencer follows your command, moving his finger in and out of you.

"just rub on my clit, with your thumb.." you say, a moan leaving your mouth when he does so.

"i'm so close- god spencer."

you rest your head against his shoulder as you begin to feel yourself come undone. your thighs shake, moans leaving you as you come. spencers almost transfixed by the sight, hips rutting up against yours without control.

your panting slightly, lifting your head off his shoulder to kiss him.

"thank you."

"your, uhm, welcome?" he says, unsure what to say.

he gasps, as your hand comes down to his thigh, trailing to the bulge.

"your turn?" you say, tilting your head.

[rekino2114]

You and makima as nayuta's parents

(Part 2 to this)

Pairing:makima x male reader/nayuta as your daughter

A/n: it's finally part 2! I love this au so much It's so adorable i genuinely love writing for it, feel free to request stuff for it too if you want

Summary:The people at your daughter's school don't believe who her mom is, so she decides to show them

You stood patiently as you heard the sound of the last bell ringing, followed by tens of tiny footsteps made by the children exiting the school in a orderly line, you waited until it was your daughter's class turn and looked for her, when you two finally spotted each other she told her teacher she saw you and sprinted to give you a hug.

"Daddy!"

You wrapped your hands around the short girl as she tried her best to do the same before you pulled back, putting her bag around your shoulder in the process,and held her small hand while starting to walk back home.

"How did your day go, yuta?"

"It was awesome, I did a really cool drawing and the teacher said it was the best of the class"

"That's great, I can't wait to see it"

"And-and then at recess we played hide and seek and no one could find me"

"Yeah you've already been the best at that game not even I can find you"

The half devil just giggled and continued to drag you faster to your home.

When you arrived there you started preparing snacks for her, after you finished, you found her in the living room watching cartoons while petting one of the dogs

"This is in case you get hungry ok?"

"Yay thanks"

You sat near her and watched her eat the snacks you gave her

"Hey daddy when is mommy coming home?"

"Oh you know, she's still working, she'll come pretty soon though"

"Oh......ok"

Your wife often got stuck working on paperwork at public safety headquartered (often because of some stupid stunt denji and power pulled), so she let you leave early to go pick up your daughter, nayuta knew this and she usually never complained about it so you were pretty surprised she asked

"Is something wrong? you usually never ask about mom"

".....mommy is like super important right?"

"Well she is the boss of the people who fight devils so yes. Super duper important why?"

While it was definitely true public safety still mainly fought strong devils, they were much much rarer and less powerful than they once were, the fact that an incredibly powerful and practically invincible horseman of apocalypse was now actively and happily helping humanity deterred the smarter ones from doing large scale attacks and as a result the public wasn't as scared of them in turn making them weaker,but to your daughter anyone who fought devils was cool and her mother triply so because she was the boss.

"Some jerks didn't believe me when I said that!"

"What?"

"Yeah they said stuff like "no way your mom is that important" or "you don't look rich" and "you look nothing like her! They're just some idiots"

You were very confused at the comments, especially the last one since nayuta literally had the same eyes as her mother but quickly pulled her into another hug to comfort her

"It's alright yuty, they're just wrong"

"Y-yeah"

"You know what, I think mom wouldn't be happy to hear what those people said about you. When she comes home, we'll tell her all about it, ok?"

"Yeah, and then she'll show them"

"Yeah, let's continue watching your show now ok?"

"OK I love you daddy"

"I love you too sweetie"

Not that long after you heard the door open and turned to see your beautiful wife

"I'm home"

You and nayuta immediately walked up to her. You hugged her, and you two shared a kiss

"I missed you dear"

"I did too"

She then turned to nayuta and started ruffling her black hair

"And how did my favorite girl do at school today?"

"It was great I did a super cool drawing"

"Oh really? Sounds great"

"But then someone told me that they didn't believe you're my mom"

"..............what?"

"Yeah they were all like "there's no way your mom is that important" they also told me I don't look rich and we look totally different"

"Ah, I see. Well, I guess it's to be expected after all y/n Is the one to pick you up, and I am quite an important figure in Japan, so skepticism is natural"

"But they're wrong and they don't get it, I'm tired of them treating me like a liar"

Makima pulled her daughter into her third hug of the day (she loves them a lot) to calm her down before coming up with something

"How about tomorrow I come back early and pick you up, then we'll show them who's wrong"

"*gasp* really? But don't you have some super important work to do?"

"It's just boring paperwork I'm sure someone else can take care of that, seeing my daughter smile is more important, I'll even let you leave early ok?"

"Thanks. You're the best mom ever"

[Timeskip]

The next day, nayuta was in her class listening to the teacher when a knock on the door caught her attention. When it was opened, she saw you and makima standing there

"*gasp* mommy,daddy!"

She immediately ran to you with a huge smile on her face, you grabbed her small body and lifted her over your shoulders giving her a piggyback ride

"You came!"

"Of course sweetie"

Nayuta stuck her tongue out at her classmates while enjoying seeing their bewildered and envious faces, so she decided to push her luck

"I'm really hungry can we get ice cream?"

"Of course, we can get all the ice cream you want"

The young girl smiled even brighter at that, especially because her classmates got even more jealous. You and makima were also pleased to see that as it meant that your daughter wouldn't get picked on again.

You went outside and started walking towards the ice cream shop

"They were so jealous! I bet tomorrow they'll be saying how cool how I am"

"That's because you are yuta, be careful though some of them may want to be your friend only because of your mom, choose your friends carefully"

"OK.......thanks"

"Don't thank us. By the way, if they start actually bullying you even more, please tell us, I only want to see you happy"

"Yeah.....You're the best parents ever, I love you so much mommy and daddy"

Makima felt a warmth in her heart at her daughter's words. She loved hearing that she loved her and considered her a good mom. It made all of the suffering she had felt worth it knowing that there were two people who she could love forever and who felt the same way towards her made her so happy, a feeling that only increased when you kissed her cheek and held her hand. Now that she could truly feel love, she was sure of three things: she loved you, she loved nayuta, and she loved this life.

[storiesforallfandoms]

a perfect world ~ jack chambers;don't worry darling

word count: 2122

request?: no

description: in which she finds out that their picture perfect world is not as perfect as it seems

pairing: jack chambers x female!reader

warnings: swearing, use of y/n, kind of an au where jack isn't an incel but he still does the bad thing of taking the reader into the simulation, jack tries to gaslight the reader, kind of a dark fic if you think about it but not super dark

masterlist (one, two, three)

Jack knew something was wrong the moment he walked into the house. It was the quiet that tipped him off. It was never quiet. Usually the place was filled with music. Either the soft lull of the radio, or his wife's humming, or both.

This time, though, the house was eerily quiet.

Jack came around the corner to find his wife stood at the kitchen counter. She had a glass of wine in her hand, with the bottle next to her on the counter. She was staring off into space as she took a sip of her wine, her movements almost robotic.

"(Y/N)?" Jack said, cautiously. "Love, are you alright?"

(Y/N) didn't respond at first. She took a long sip before slowly placing the glass down. Jack's worry was growing further. Not only worry for his wife, but worry for himself. If something was seriously wrong with her, then it would result in demotion, or worse, from Frank.

Finally, (Y/N) turned to face him. Her face was so calm that it scared Jack. When she spoke, her voice was also eerily calm.

"I know about Victory."

Jack tried to laugh off the comment. "My job? Of course you know about it, love."

"No," (Y/N) said, shaking her head. "I know what Victory is. I know why we're here, Jack. And what you did to me."

Jack's blood ran cold.

In his fear and anxiety, Jack started laughing again. (Y/N)'s face was still blank as she looked at him.

"I don't know what you're on about," Jack said. "I didn't do anything to you, besides put a ring on your finger."

(Y/N) chuckled, but there was no true humor behind it. "Well, yes, you did actually do that. But you didn't do it the way we've been telling the story, did you?"

Jack started to walk away. He was trying to seem nonchalant, but the panic was starting to overwhelm him. He didn't want (Y/N) to see his panic, otherwise he wouldn't be able to convince her that she was wrong.

He stopped when (Y/N) called after him, "How long do you intend to keep me in this simulation?"

Jack spun around before he could stop himself. "You are crazy! Do you hear yourself? You're talking crazy!"

Emotion was finally showing on (Y/N)'s face. It quickly went from shock to anger. "You're going to call me crazy? When you're the one who has me hooked up to a machine and making me play happy little housewife?!"

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

Jack couldn't help but quickly look around in panic. There was no way Frank was listening in on their private conversations, right? This wouldn't get back to him, would it? He needed to stop (Y/N) before things got too loud or somehow their neighbors noticed the arguing.

He tried a more calm approach, saying, "Love, I don't know where you got this idea. We are not in a simulation, you are not hooked up to machines. I'm sorry I called you crazy, but you have to understand that is how everyone will react when they hear you saying this."

(Y/N) pulled away as Jack tried to reach for her. "I got this idea when I went to the Victory headquarters."

Jack backed away from her. No, she couldn't have been to the Headquarters. None of the wives even knew where the Headquarters was, and they wouldn't be able to even go out that far.

Except for Margaret, but Ted wore he had her under control.

They locked eyes, silently daring the other to make a move. Jack had lost any sense of confidence he had mustered seconds ago. He felt like everything was about to slip from his fingers. Everything he worked so hard to build for him and (Y/N), all gone in the seconds it took for her to utter that sentence. Meanwhile, (Y/N) had gone back to looking emotionless. She didn't even realize how much she was about to lose.

When Jack didn't break the silence, (Y/N) took it as her opportunity to explain, "I was on the trolley and it broke down. The driver told me it would take some time for it to be fixed, so I offered to just walk back to town. But, oddly, the driver started trying to convince me not to get off. He was very adamant about staying on the trolley. I was a little put off by how insistent he was on it, but I thought he was just worried for my safety."

Jack felt himself unconsciously clenching his fists. The damn trolley driver. Couldn't he have been a little more subtle?

"I did stay on for a while," she continued. "But it was just the two of us, and I knew I'd get home quicker if I just walked. So I did. When the driver wasn't paying much attention, I got off and started walking. But we were in the desert, and none of us wives have ever been out that far, so I was a bit lost. I found his building I've never seen or heard of before. I knew I shouldn't go to it, but...my curiosity got the better of me."

Jack felt as though he was going to start crying. Even though he already knew the answer, he asked, "What did you see?"

"Nothing," (Y/N) responded. "Not at first. Not until I touched the building. Then I saw the truth. All of it."

Jack winced.

That's it. There's no denying her when she saw the building.

The truth was that (Y/N) was right: she was hooked up to a machine that was putting her in a simulated perfect 50s town.

In the real world, Jack and (Y/N) were really married. They fell in love young and married right after they graduated university. Everything was great, until Jack lost his job. His company was on a fast downwards spiral that resulted in a number of employees getting terminated, and Jack was one of the unfortunate ones. (Y/N) was still trying to get a job within her field of study, so she was working a minimum wage retail job. While Jack was unemployed, (Y/N) had to carry the financial burdens, and that made Jack feel awful and useless.

Then he discovered Frank and Victory.

Frank promised a perfect world and a perfect life. All Jack needed to do was work for eight hours a day, as well as all the other men within their town, for Frank; for Victory. It was a small price to pay for him and (Y/N) to live their dream life.

And now all of that work was ruined. Frank would take care of (Y/N) for finding out, whatever that meant, and Jack would be exiled from Victory.

He had to sit down.

He lowered himself into a chair at their dining table. (Y/N) was still watching him. He wished she would just do whatever she planned to do; scream, break things, go right to Frank and tell him she knew about everything. Whatever the plan, he just wanted her to get it over with. The unknown silence was killing him.

"Why?" she finally asked. "Why did you do this?"

"For us," Jack said. "So we could live a better life."

"What was wrong with our life before?"

Jack scoffed. "Seriously? (Y/N), we were struggling. I was unemployed, you were working a shitty job. You were pulling all the financial weight, and I hate that all of that was on your shoulders."

"So instead of talking to me about your feelings, you hooked me up to a machine and put me into a simulation without my consent?"

Jack hung his head. There was no way to paint that part in a good light. He hadn't brought up Victory because he was afraid (Y/N) would reject the idea, and he couldn't take their real life for much longer.

"I just wanted to take care of you," Jack said, his voice small. "You were doing it for so long, and you never complained even though I know it was tough. I didn't want you to do it anymore, and Frank offered the perfect life for us."

He heard (Y/N)'s heels clicking against the tiled kitchen floor as she approached the table. He couldn't look up at her as she leaned on the table, basically towering over him.

"What happens if Frank finds out that I know?" she asked.

Jack shook his head. "I don't completely know. He just says he takes care of it."

"Did he take care of Margaret?"

He didn't ask her how she knew that Margaret had known the truth as well. It was probably pretty obvious now that she knew. Instead, he just nodded. "And he told Ted that if he didn't get Margaret under control, then he'd be fired from Victory."

"So, if Frank finds out, this is all over for both of us?"

He nodded again. He had a feeling he knew where she was going with this. She'd go tell Frank that she knew the truth about Victory, even though it would be a risk for her to do so. But the risk would be worth it if it meant Jack was fired from Victory, sent back to the reality that he was trying to desperately to save them from. Once they were back in their own reality, (Y/N) would no doubt divorce him as well. He'd deserve it, of course.

"Then I'll just have to get really good at keeping a secret."

Jack's head shot up quickly to look at (Y/N). There was a hint of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips, and there was something in her eyes as she looked at Jack.

"What do you mean?" he asked, dumbly.

"I mean, what you did was very fucked up. Like, extremely fucked up. Next time you're making big decisions like, I don't know, putting us in a fucking simulation, maybe talk to me about it first. But, with that being said...I'd be lying if I said I preferred our real life over this one."

Jack was stunned. This was not what he was expecting at all.

(Y/N) gestured for Jack to push his chair back. When given enough room, she sat herself on his lap and put her arms around his neck.

"We can't stay here forever," she told him. "We have real bodies that need to be taken care of, and families and people that will worry if we just disappear. But, it's hard to give up on this life. It's so...perfect."

"So what are you saying?" Jack asked.

"I'm saying we put a cap on how long we stay here. Give it...I don't know, another year. We let ourselves be happy, be worry free. Then, however we have to, we get out of here and we get to working on making our reality just as perfect as the simulation is."

"You'll have to go back to work."

She nodded. "I know. But I'm not opposed to working. I did get a whole degree so I could work my dream job, after all."

Jack put his arms around her. He wanted to pull her in close and not ever let her go, but he couldn't just yet. "Why?"

She furrowed her brows. "Why what?"

"Why aren't you more mad? Why aren't you going to tell Frank so that I get in trouble? Why do you want to stay here...stay with me?"

(Y/N) gave him a look like she thought he was being incredibly stupid before cupping his cheeks. "Because I love you, you idiot. And, like I said, the way you went about doing this was very stupid and wrong, but I know you did it because you love me, too. As long as you can agree with my deal, I don't see any reason to be mad and want to leave you."

Jack finally allowed himself to kiss her. It caught her off guard, which made her giggle against his lips. Every memory he had with her, both in the real world and in their simulation, came rushing back to him.

"I agree," he said. "I'll do whatever you want, I promise."

"Right now, I think I want to make love to my husband in our super cool retro bedroom," she told him. "Just to make sure I don't forget how to do that when we get back to the real world."

Jack smiled at her. "Oh, don't worry love. I won't let you forget."

[widowmaxff]

if you wanted to, could you please write an angsty oneshot of moms!wandanat and reader where they get into a a bad argument which results in reader running away to yelena’s? ending could be happy or sad- up to you overall!

proud

pairings: parents!wandanat × daughter!reader | yelena × fem!reader (all platonic)

warnings: angst, argument, crying, insecure reader (?), happy ending!, steve × reader (platonic) at some time of the one shot, bad writing

a/n: i finished this crying because a cockroach attacked me, so thats why the ending was kind of bad writing sorry :P anddd tysm for your request <333 i loved writing this

You were never sure when it started, but it was probably a long time ago. When you learned that having parents who fought the super villains in the world wasn't normal, you realized that your life wouldn't be normal either. But even though you liked seeing your mother training with her red powers or running and being able to do whatever you wanted through the great corridors of the Compound, you still missed having a 'normal' life.

Being able to go out on the street without worrying about some evil man who hates one of your mothers kidnapping you or even being able to make friends at school without them being people who just wanted to meet your uncles, were things you wanted so much to experience. But that wasn't the only thing that made you feel bad in your daily life, having mothers who were superheroes also made you barely see them in weeks.

Even though most people your age didn't want anything to do with their parents anymore, you still missed the comforting and long hugs, the nights you had a marathon of your favorite movies and even when you still had dinner together as a family. But now, either they were too busy with work, like missions and paperwork, or they just didn't want to deal with a teenager.

And even then you tried to get their attention in some way. "Mom?" You knock softly on Natasha's office door, hearing a quiet response for you to enter. "Can you help me study for my test of the next week? I really don't understand this." You chuckle seeing your mother's eyes continue on the papers on her desk.

"Can't you look up the answer on the Internet or something? I'm really busy here, Y/n/n." You knew that Natasha would dismiss you somehow, but deep down you still hoped that she would look at you.

"Yes, but- I wanted to understand how to solve it and not just research it." You whisper, watching your mother write something down in the corner of the paper.

"Wanda can help you." She says, her eyes unable to take the words from her face for even a minute.

"Okay- um, thanks anyway, Mom." You only hear a mumble under her breath, making you wonder if there was something wrong with you. You close the office door with a little less hope this time. Your other mother was always a step ahead than Natasha in terms of emotional comfort, so maybe she would help you in your task by remembering your daily difficulties with that kind of thing. "Mama?"

"Yes?" Your mother murmurs, you barely listening. Wanda was sitting on the sofa at the Compound while devouring herself with a book in her hands.

"Can you help me study for my test of the next week, please?" You sit next to her while Wanda flips through another white page of the big book.

"Now?"

"Yeah. If it's possible."

"Can I help you...tomorrow?" Wanda finally looks at you from above her book. "Today is my only day off from the week's missions and paperwork and I'm really tired right now, my love." Your eyes fall to your hands in your lap, it was obvious that deep down you knew she was going to promise you something and maybe she would deliver. But by the time the next day passed, and then the next, and then the next... and Wanda didn't talk to you about it, you knew she wasn't going to help you.

And when you felt your head hurt just looking at that big red note in the corner of your test, you knew your mothers' wouldn't react so well to it. Maybe before they started spending time apart from you, they wouldn't get mad or anything like that because of your grade, but now you were sure that wasn't what would happen.

Stirring your fork on the plate still full of food, you go over the things you would say to your mothers' about your school grade. You travel between words and don't even notice when someone enters your field of vision. "Is everything okay, Kid?" It was your Uncle Steve. He sits in front of you watching you think about what to say to him.

"Yeah, it's just...school stuff."

"Is someone picking on you?" You knew that Steve almost saw you as a daughter, and you also knew that he was aware of how your mothers would rather be busy than deal with a teenage girl going through puberty, and that maybe now is the time when you needs them the most.

"Not like before, but that's not it." You leave your fork on your plate before sighing deeply. "I just got my test and I didn't get a very good grade," Murmuring you hold back the tears that sting your eyes. "now I don't know how I'm going to tell my mothers this."

Steve sighs. "I'm sure they won't fight with you, Y/n/n. Your mothers' will understand what happened and a grade doesn't define who you are, okay?" Your uncle didn't have much certainty in his voice but you tried to believe him anyway. You nod and put a small smile on your face, as a gesture of thanks.

Steve ruffles your hair, getting up from the chair when he hears the loud and unmistakable footsteps of your mothers' approaching you. He sends you a smile to try to reassure you that everything will work out, and with each step closer to you, your heart starts to accelerate. Your mothers' had a neutral expression, even if Natasha seemed angrier. "Aren't you going to eat?" Wanda asks, walking past you and heading towards one of the closets.

Completely ignoring the question, you take a deep breath and swallow hard. "I received the grade for that test in which I asked you to help me study." You mutter as you saw your mothers still facing away from you. "I got a D." Your voice was low, but even so, the two stopped what they were doing and looked into the depths of your soul.

"You got what?" Natasha seemed to finally understand that you were there. Her arms crossed as she walked towards you.

"I-I asked for help and-"

"Now you're trying to get out of this by blaming us for not helping you?" Wanda cuts you off making your eyes focus on her.

"I'm just saying- I tried, okay?!" It could be said that you got anger issues from your mom genes, or that you were just overwhelmed and your patience was running out. And when your tone of voice increased, you knew Natasha's anger would increase as well.

"Hey, don't talk to your mother like that!" Natasha slams her fist on the table in front of you, making you almost jump out of your seat.

"Well, you shouldn't be talking to me like that either." You didn't know where so much courage came from to fight back against your mother, but when you realized it, the damage had already begun.

"I'm your fucking mother, I talk to you however I want!" Natasha had never made you feel as scared as you did now, but it seemed like now that the words started to come out, they wouldn't stop.

"Ah, you haven't even been acting like a mother these past few months. Hypocrisy, huh?" When you finished speaking, you saw Wanda's eyes want to turn red like her hair. She approached the two of you quickly with the angriest expression you had ever seen.

"What's your problem, Y/n?!"

"My problem?" You get up from the chair and cross your arms, anyone who saw you in that position would notice the similarities in anger between you and Natasha. "You tell me! I'm not the person who would rather spend time anywhere else than with her own daughter. I'm not the one who forgets that she still has a daughter to raise!"

You screamed so loud that you were sure the entire Compound could hear that argument and that they could probably feel the tension in that environment from afar. If you were in a cartoon, you could see smoke coming out of Natasha's head and definitely Wanda's eyes catching fire. "You're being so selfish right now, Y/n." 

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are! Just because your mother and I work all day to give you a better life, you think that we don't pay attention to you?" You had never seen Wanda like that, screaming and looking like she could kill anyone who came in front of her.

"Ah, yeah. Because last week when you weren't working you preferred to spend the whole day with Peter than with me just because he got a good grade!"

"Yes, because he always made us so proud by passing all the tests he had, unlike you!" Natasha spits the words out of her mouth without even thinking about what she was saying. And when they passed your ears you could feel your heart breaking.

Hearing that your mothers were more proud of a teenager who worked with them than they were of you made you feel like a gunshot was slowly passing through your chest. Natasha and Wanda knew how insecure you felt in your daily life, mainly due to academic validation, and now it seemed like all those days they had to spend helping you feel better about yourself were going down the drain.

Natasha sighs deeply when she sees your eyes widen, holding back tears that would fall at any moment. Wanda didn't seem any different when she heard the same words coming out of her wife's mouth. She never imagined that an argument of that size would ever happen between you, and Wanda could have sworn that she felt her heart stop beating out of disgust at the thought of how bad you must be feeling right now. "Y/n, I didn't mean-"

"It's okay." You murmur, uncrossing your arms. Two tears fall from your eyes and you make sure to wipe them away quickly. Your eyes were anywhere but on your mothers, because you felt so disgusting knowing that they were more proud of Peter than they were of you, that you couldn't even look at them.

Neither Wanda nor Natasha say anything when you turn and start walking out of the kitchen. You seemed to be walking automatically, your eyes blurry and your mind foggy, just going through your mother's words, over and over. But when you realize it, you're already outside the Compound, a few blocks away. You remember only one person who could help you outside of that place, and who wouldn't mind if you showed up suddenly.

And that's how you found yourself in front of Yelena's apartment, your aunt. She had found a place to live close to Natasha's house when she reconnected with her years ago, and especially when she discovered that she had a daughter, you. "Y/n?" Yelena seemed confused to see you there, with your face soaked and red, looking like an abandoned puppy. "Hey, what's wrong?" She didn't take long to have you in her arms.

"M-Mom and Mama h-hate me." You finally managed to murmur after some time sitting on the sofa in the apartment with Yelena stroking your hair and saying affectionate words. 

Anyone who saw her doing this wouldn't believe it. Yelena wasn't the type of person for physical touches and especially sweet words, but when the subject was you, she became another person. "Why do you say that? They love you more than anything, Y/n/n."

"No, they don't."

Yelena had never seen you like this, not when you cried for days when you saw your favorite character dying, not when your mothers had to leave for a long mission. It was strange to see you crying almost as if there was no air in your lungs, your aunt wondered what happened to make it look like you had a bullet in your body and you were begging her to take it out. So, when you fell asleep crying on the couch, Yelena didn't wait a minute to call Natasha and insult her in every way possible. "What the fuck did you do?"

"What?"

"Y/n showed up at my door, I've never seen her crying as much as she does now." Yelena looks at you from the apartment's kitchen, you were curled up on the sofa with a blanket covering your body.

"Are you with her? Wanda and I were looking for her throughout the entire Compound." Natasha seemed to be relieved on the other end of the call, but even so her voice still sounded apprehensive about what had happened. "We're going to your apartment, I'll answer your question when we get there."

"You better!"

[...]

"She's sleeping on the couch." Yelena says when she sees Wanda and Natasha's eyes follow behind her, trying to find you. Yelena noticed Wanda's red eyes, not as if she wanted to cast circles of magic through her hands, but as if she had cried before arriving at the apartment. Your aunt knew that Wanda was sensitive, especially when it came to the topic of you and that you probably inherited that from her too, but for you two to cry so much like that, something really happened. 

"Tell me what happened before you look at my niece again." Yelena has always been very protective of you, for example the time two girls made you the target of jokes in your school, and your aunt didn't wait a second to go to each of their houses and have a word with them. 

"I better show you." Wanda says getting closer to Yelena, moving her fingers that came out red magic towards her mind - Steve messing up your hair, Wanda opening cabinets, red grade, Natasha screaming, you screaming, not being a mother, Wanda screaming, Peter being mentioned, not proud, disgusting feeling, you crying, you leaving the kitchen.

"Jesus." Yelena sighs deeply, running her hands over her face. "I really don't know how you're going to fix this, but I'll warn you: the hole is deeper than it looks."

"What- what do you mean by that?"

"Look, I'm sure you didn't want this to turn into a big snowball, but Y/n been feeling neglected for so long that after today it might take a while for things to get back to normal." Yelena says leaning on the front door frame.

"We didn't-"

"Yes, you did this to her. Today wasn't the first time she's shown up at my door in the last few months, but she's worse than the other times." Yelena crosses her arms and closes her eyes trying to calm down. "I had to listen to her talk about how you hardly talk to her on a daily basis, how you forgot to go to her presentation at school and didn't even apologize, how there were days when you forgot to pick her up and she had to walk in the rain to my apartment because it was closer, how she cried because you never had movie nights again because apparently now you have movie nights with Peter." Yelena's voice got louder with each thing she remembered you saying to her, and there were countless things. "I don't want to hear what you have to say, I want you to talk to her, apologize."

Natasha was so embarrassed to hear all those things from Yelena that she preferred to remain silent. Wanda had started to cry again, but it was silently, digesting all those things they did and didn't do to you. She had always dreamed of being a mother and now that she wasn't acting like one made her want to vomit over her own actions.

"Can we see her?" It was a stupid question coming from them, since they were your mothers and have the right to see you whenever they want. But they knew that everything was messy and bad for you because of them, so the least they had to do was respect your space.

Yelena just nods and gives Wanda and Natasha space to enter the apartment, taking light steps towards you. They bend down in front of you and see your swollen eyes and your red face with dried tears. Your mothers could cry just to see you in this state. Wanda starts to caress your face trying to make you wake up calmly, it was something she used to do when she went to your room in the morning every day to wake you up. And when you felt that you quickly knew who it was. "Mama?"

"Shh, yes it's me, my love." Wanda says with a small smile on her face when she hears your voice. You seemed lost for a few seconds but when you looked around the apartment you quickly remembered, throwing off the blanket and quickly sitting down on the couch. "Hey, it's okay."

"What are you two doing here?" You murmur, looking at your mothers' faces, who seemed sorry for everything that happened.

"We... came to talk and apologize, is that okay for you?" Natasha says, you could see in her face that she felt just as guilty as Wanda, because most of those horrible words were said by her. "Yeah, I guess." Wanda sighed in relief at your answer and felt some of the weight leave her body.

"I know that just apologies won't be enough to make you want to be around us for now, but your mother and I are completely sorry, my love. We were so stupid about leaving you aside these last few months, we didn't even realize what we were doing to you and it's really fucked up." The swear word made you laugh briefly, putting a smile on your mothers face. "And maybe you don't want to forgive us and that's definitely okay, but know that we're going to do everything we can to get things back on track, okay?"

Natasha agrees with Wanda's words and takes a deep breath before starting to speak. "We love you very, very much, sweetheart. And you are our greatest pride in our entire lives. I know you may not believe this, but you can be sure that me, your mother, your aunt and all your other uncles feel most proud of you, okay? You're our little star and our little agent." 

A genuine smile appears on your face when you hear the sweet words that came out of your mothers' mouths. "First, you guys are literally the only people I want by my side and that's the only thing I've wanted these last few months. And I'm really grateful that you guys are sorry about that, even though it's probably going to be hard for things to go back to normal." They nod their heads when they hear your words in your low voice. "And I... forgive you. Not completely but until I can feel good again, but I think hearing you say sorry is a start."

"Okay, yes, that's okay." Wanda leaves a kiss on your forehead and strokes your hair affectionately. "We love you so much, dear."

"Love you too." You say, hugging the two women in front of you, finally feeling maternal affection after feeling neglected for so long and wondering what you had done wrong. Even though it took a while to get used to it all again, you were definitely happier than ever just hearing the words that they were proud of you. "Now I finally don't need to come to talk to Auntie Yelena anymore."

"Hey! I heard that!" Yelena shouts from another room in the apartment making the three of you laugh. You loved making fun of her, but even so, you will always be thankful for all the things she did for you. "Wow you're so ungrateful, Mini Romanoff."