#i'm still successfully deluding myself into thinking i'm not writing it

[myalchod]

As many lines as many roses? Hmm can I put 293658 roses? No? Okay fine, how about five?🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

I mean, you could put that many, but I'm not sure I have anything that would provide that many contiguous sentences. 😂 So instead, have yet another post-canon Fate AU, one I'm pretty sure you've not seen anything from before. And since I'm feeling nice, I'll give you a couple of extra sentences to alleviate the highly atypical (for me) one-word ones.

Thought? What is thought, alone? Nothing. Another voice, distant, the murmur familiar as it echoes endlessly. If she had hands she would clap them over her ears, but she has neither, and she cannot shut it out. (If she had a mouth she would scream, but that too she lacks.) Nothing, the voice repeats, with something she might have once named pleasure, and so we can begin.

[ send me a rose? ]

[ev-arrested]

Reading the Grayson comics is like reading a manifestation of Michael Bublé’s version of “Santa Baby”

I will elaborate:

Santa Baby by Michael Bublé has to be one of the most “no homo” songs I have ever heard. I’m serious, just listen to it rn. The thing about it is that it doesn’t just sound gay because he didn’t change any of the lyrics. Nonono. That would have been better, lemme assure you. The thing about the song is that he tried to. “Santa Baby” suddenly becomes “Santa Buddy”, and, even more hysterically, “Santa Pally” and “Santa Poppy” LIKE—

You’ll certainly still get lines like

“Santa buddy, a sixty five convertible too Steel blue”

And then followed up with a line calling Santa “dude”

“I'll wait up for you, dude”

And then the “no homo” is IMMEDIATELY undone by

“Santa buddy, and hurry down the chimney tonight”

With every changed lyrics trying to make it less gay (and ironically making it more hilarious and not any less gay), you’re sitting there scratching your head like, “Michael…if you didn’t want to sing a song that sounded a bit gay, you totally could have just…not.”

That’s what reading the Grayson comics is like. Tom King said, “Dick Grayson is straight”, and the thing about that is that I could suspend my disbelief. I could certainly successfully delude myself and pretend that he is for a comic—if Tom King wasn’t writing the gayest shit I’ve ever read.

Most of the gay shit you see in this comic is very much just gaybaiting. To me, that’s fine. I’m over it. It doesn't really interfere with my delusion of Dick being straight. But it’s the little things that Dick Grayson does that just make him come across as so closeted that Tom King definitely did not intend. Like look at this panel from the second annual.

Grayson Annual #2 page 26

What the fuck is this huh

I get that this is supposed to be a reminder to the audience that he is in fact straight amongst all the gaybaiting, but the thing about that, King, and I cannot emphasize this enough, is that dropping lines like this makes him less straight, not more.

Y'know what would make him more straight? Leaving out the gay shit entirely so you don't have to compensate like this lmao. You don't even have to compensate in the first place, actually.

I'm hardly mad at this--quite the contrary, I think it's funny--but man. King, if you didn't wanna write a Dick Grayson that came across as less than straight, you could have just. Not lol.

Anyway, this has been my weekly post of begging my followers to read the Grayson comics. It's like 20 issues and it's a fun time...even if they're bad.