#i'm still pondering it but i think there are a few root causes

[henrybelly]

honestly when i tried to figure out why some fans are so mad at ivypool these days i was looking through avos and. the scene where ivypool apologises to twigpaw for not supporting sending a patrol for skyclan is genuinely very sweet??

i actually saw someone characterize this as "ivypool forcing twigpaw to forgive her". is it crack you smoke. is that what you smoke. you smoke crack?

[siilverwiitch]

Chapter 7: Vision

Fandom: 原神 | Genshin Impact

Characters: Kaeya, Venti, Diluc & Crepus

Language: English

Series: Part 1 of Stars and Wind Series

Words: 845

AO3 Link

Prev

A few weeks had passed since Venti had bestowed the Anemo Vision upon Kaeya, a gift that had left him pondering its origin ever since. As he stood under the shade of a towering oak tree, Kaeya's hand instinctively moved to the Vision now resting at his hip, its faint glow casting a subtle green hue on his skin.

"Venti?" Kaeya finally spoke up, turning to the bard beside him. "How did you give me a Vision? Isn't that something only one of the Archons is able to do?"

"It's a secret," Venti replied playfully, pressing his index finger against his lips with a mischievous grin.

"Do you know Barbatos?" Kaeya continued, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Kind of," Venti replied casually.

"How can you 'kind of' know an Archon, Venti?" Kaeya's confusion and surprise caused his voice to rise slightly.

"There are many things in this world that are rare but still possible, Kaeya," Venti responded matter-of-factly. "Anyway, I'll tell you when I think the time is right, okay?"

"Okay," Kaeya nodded, though his mind was still racing with questions.

---

For the past few weeks, Venti had been guiding Kaeya in learning to control and harness the power of the Anemo Vision. Currently, Kaeya stood with his palms cupped, a ball of Anemo energy hovering just above his hands.

"You're doing really well, Kaeya. I'm proud of your progress," Venti praised him warmly.

"I have a really good teacher," Kaeya replied gratefully, releasing the Anemo energy with a small burst that rustled through their hair. "I know you said you'd tell me when the time is right but i can't stop wondering… how?"

Venti paused, considering his response carefully. "I know from the books I've read in the library that only Archons could hand out Visions, and I also thought you could only gain a Vision after doing something worthy."

Venti smiled knowingly. "You did."

Confusion flickered across Kaeya's face. "So Barbatos gave you my Vision to give me?"

Venti tensed slightly, then sighed. "Well, sort of. I'm going to tell you something, and you're allowed to react however you see fit."

"Okay," Kaeya nodded his face contorting in confusion at Venti’s words. following Venti as they walked under the shade of the large oak tree. Sitting down on one of its roots, Venti continued, "Barbatos gave you that Vision after seeing how brave and determined you've been these past few months. He also saw how honest you've been."

Kaeya's eyes widened as Venti took a deep breath. "The reason I know this is because Barbatos and I are one and the same."

Once Venti had finished speaking, he watched Kaeya closely, waiting for his reaction.

"So… you. Venti… is Barbatos," Kaeya murmured to himself, his gaze shifting to the Vision. "You're an Archon."

"Archon, you're an Archon," Kaeya repeated aloud, trying to process the revelation. "Should I call you Barbatos?"

A million thoughts raced through Kaeya's mind. According to everything he had been taught, he should be scared, even resentful of Venti. Gods and Archons were the reasons he had grown up in a broken nation… The reason his homeland and people were judged so harshly by celestia, all because it was a godless nation and went against the ways of celestia. Yet, despite everything, Venti had been there for him. He had saved Kaeya when no one else would.

"Kaeya, I completely understand if you hesitate to—" Venti began, concern evident in his voice.

"No. I should, but I don't," Kaeya interrupted firmly, surprising even himself with his resolve. "I'm grateful for everything you've done for me. I have a friend now. You treat me more like family than my own blood ever did… you're my brother"

Standing up, Kaeya turned away from Venti, focusing his thoughts on the Anemo energy. He extended his hand, palm up, and concentrated. The energy responded to his command, taking shape until it formed a crystal fly of pure Anemo energy.

"Because of you, I can have a home, somewhere I feel I belong, somewhere I know I belong" Kaeya said quietly, turning to face Venti and proudly displaying the Anemo crystal fly. "Thank you, Barbatos."

Venti chuckled warmly, pulling Kaeya into a hug and lifting him off the ground. The Anemo crystal fly fizzled out as Kaeya's attention shifted from it to Venti's embrace.

"You, Kaeya, are the Anemo God’s favorite," Venti declared with a grin, his voice filled with affection and pride.

---

In that moment under the oak tree, Kaeya realized that despite his initial reservations and the complexities of divine beings, Venti—Barbatos—was more than just an Archon. He was a friend who had chosen to intervene in Kaeya's life, offering guidance, support, and above all, a sense of belonging that Kaeya had long sought. And as they stood together, embraced by the gentle rustling of leaves and the warmth of newfound understanding, Kaeya knew that with Barbatos by his side, he had finally found his place in the world. He was family and he was someone Kaeya knew he could trust.

[kingsnake101]

Orphanage?

So this one is pure crack. I couldn't stop giggling when I re-read them. I'm gonna share both of them because they're pretty similar. Also I've never played Majoras Mask or OOT, so sorry if there are inaccuracies :/

So these ones are almost finished, so I think I'm going to let them speak for themselves. The first one takes place pre-lu, and the second one happens during lu.

Orphanage

“Link?”

Link hummed a reply, staring up at the large sign reading “Castle Town Orphanage”. He had escaped from there a few times, if he remembered correctly.

Malon squeezed his hand, laughing lightly under her breath. “Come on, Link, it's okay. We're not making any decisions yet,” she reassured him, although it didn't escape him that she stayed rooted in place. Hypocrite.

“What, is the great ‘Hero of Time’ too scared to talk to a couple kids?” she teased, although her hand was holding his in a vice grip.

“I don't see Malon, ‘Hero of the Hero of Time’ running inside,” he teased back, the cheesy title bringing a grin to his face. She elbowed him in the side.

Link went back to staring at the sign, pondering. Was he ready to be a father? Malon had reassured him over and over, but he still had his doubts. Deep down, he still felt like the feral little child running around the Lost woods.

A shout interrupted his train of thought, and he spun, instinctually stepping in front of Malon and hovering his hand over the hilt of his sword.

Across the street, a short teenager writhed in the grip of two castle guards. He wore a tunic as colorful as the insults spewing from his mouth; the fabric was split into quadrants of blue, green, purple, and red. A green headband held back golden hair, framing a round face with large, angry eyes. He was currently being carried towards the orphanage, held between two guards, a third one hovering nearby. The guards seemed resigned, as if they had done this song and dance countless times. Intrigued and a little worried, Link jogged forwards to meet the group.

“Excuse me, gentlemen, but is everything alright?” Link asked, which caused the kid to fall silent. Link met their eyes, a deep blue lake filled with annoyance and anger. Weird, but Link had seen much weirder.

The guards looked up, surprised.

“Ah! Sir Link!” the guard not currently restraining the teen greeted. “Everything is fine, we were just returning this one back to the orphanage,” he gestured to the restrained teen. The teen snarled at him, and the guard eyed him warily. “He keeps escaping, although we're not sure how. I swear, we might have to chain him to the wall at this point,” the guard chuckled dryly. The kid shot him a withering look that said “I'd like to see you try”. Link didn't miss the way he seemed to lean away from the kid. 

“Anyway, I believe we should get going. It was a pleasure seeing you, Sir Link,” the guard bowed his head respectively before walking towards the orphanage and waving the other guards forward. The kid didn't fight them this time, instead watching Link with sharp violet eyes. “Must be a trick of the light,” Link assumed.

“I like him,” Malon commented, a mischievous glint to her voice as she stepped up besides Link. Link nodded in response.

“He reminds me of you,” she grinned at him. Link rolled his eyes at that, but he couldn't deny that it was true. There had been a certain spark to that kid, one that reminded him of a feral child running around Hyrule in a quest to save the world.

He shared a knowing look with Malon. With only a moment's hesitation, she grabbed his hand, and started leading them towards the orphanage.

--

Link, or Four, stared out the window at the billowing smoke outside. The other link, also known as Time, stood in front of a roaring bonfire, expression blank. What looked to be a hand-painted child's bed crumbled to ash. A brightly colored balloon floated into the air, string singed, before being shot down with an arrow.

When Time found out who Four was he definitely lied about "sensing the hero's spirit" or something like that. Also, Time is now legally Four's dad. DO with that what you will (;

Orphanage 2

Four was abruptly awoken by three firm knocks on his door. Yawning, he slid out of bed, cringing slightly as his bare feet met the cold inn floor. The smith raised his arms above his head, sore joints popping into place. The night before had been rough. One minute, he had been sleeping peacefully in his bedroll, and the next, he was in the middle of Time’s Hyrule field. Alone. Thankfully, castle town was close and he had been easily able to find an inn. He quickly slid on his socks and shoes, just in case. 

The door creaked as he opened it, revealing a surprised castle guard with a fist poised to knock. Four blinked in surprise, opening the door fully.

“Good morning, gentlemen,” Four greeted, voice cracking with exhaustion. “May I help you?”

“Good morning. We received a concerned message from the innkeeper, and we were here to ask you if you are traveling with your parents,” the guard stated, brows furrowed slightly in worry. Four sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I am sorry if my stature fooled you, but I am not a child,” he replied through gritted teeth, annoyance glimmering in his chest. Seriously, had they never seen a short person before? “Well, then again, everyone in Time’s Hyrule is freakishly tall.”

“Mhm. Is there anyone around that could confirm that?” the guard asked, clearly not believing him.

Four fought down the urge to slam the door on their face. “No, there is not, because I am fully capable of traveling on my own. Is there any other way I could prove it to you?”

“Listen, kid, how about you come with us to the orphanage and we can sort this out,” the second guard offered, stepping forward and reaching out a hand. “We'll get you a nice meal and a warm bath, free of charge, how's that sound?”

Right. Four realized that he probably looked like a drowned rat, his sleep clothes absolutely covered in mud. “I appreciate the offer, gentlemen, but I have places I have to be,” Four practically growled, barely managing to stay civil. He began to shut the door, only to be stopped by a gauntleted hand.

“Young man, that wasn't a suggestion. Please don't make us do this by force,” the first guard clarified, trying to push the door open further. Four pressed back, holding firm.

“Fine. Princess Zelda can confirm my age,” Four hissed, just barely holding himself back from punching this man in the face.

“Yeah right. Come on, kid,” the second guard scoffed, helping his coworker push the door open and grabbing Four’s arm. Four panicked slightly, trying to yank his hand out of the soldier's grip.

“Don't fucking touch me!” Four snarled, but the soldier held firm. Logically, he knew that he should go along with them and escape later, but the blue part of him refused to budge.

“Grab his stuff, will you?” The man holding him directed the other. Four watched in horror as the first guard wandered over to his things, reaching for the four sword.

“Be careful with that!” Four snarled, a sliver of desperation slipping into his voice. 

Thankfully, the man seemed to hear him, and carefully picked up the sword by its sheath. Four relaxed slightly when his sword was wrapped up safely with the rest of his items.

“Come on, kid. Let's go,” the second guard, or Denthead, as Blue had spitefully named him, tugged on his arm.

“Fine! I'll go with you, you don't have to lead me around like a dog,” Four huffed, pulling his arm out of the man's grip. The man gave him a disbelieving look, but let go of his arm regardless.

Four begrudgingly followed the men out of the inn, making sure to send the innkeeper the nastiest stare he could manage. He felt accomplished when she looked away to study the guestbook.

He absentmindedly rubbed the aching marks on his wrist as he scanned the streets for escape routes.

Into the crowd? No, guards were everywhere and a bystander might catch him.

That alleyway? Possibly, but it didn't seem to go anywhere and the overhang would make it hard to get onto the roof.

Fruit stand? No, that lady looks like a snitch. Tavern? No, he'd be cornered too quickly.

A familiar tug of magic pulled him out of his thoughts. Looking around, he searched for the source of it, eyes eventually landing on a broken pot on the porch of a butcher’s shop. If he could get to that, he could escape.

Four glanced back at the first guard, a plan starting to form. He turned around, looking at the guard with the most worried eyes he could muster. The guard stopped, raising a slightly worried eyebrow.

“Sir? Can I tell you something?” Four whispered, glancing back to where Denthead continued to walk through the crowd. Four gestured for him to lean down.

“Um, sure. Just make it quick, we have to catch up to Lewis,” the guard leaned down, shuffling the items in his arms. Four saw the hilt of his sword peeking out of his tunic.

Four dramatically leaned forwards, positioning his head right by the man's ear. He leaned in, subtly grasping the very edge of the sheath.

In one smooth motion, he head butted the man as hard as he could and pulled the sword from his grasp. He lunged, sprinting for the portal.

Four threw himself at the porch, ignoring the shouts around him in favor of reaching the portal. The familiar feel of minish magic brushed his fingers, he was almost there-

A hand grabbed the back of his undershirt and yanked, throwing him backwards and into the metal-plated chest of the first guard. Four snarled, thrashing and kicking in the man's grasp. The guard seemed startled by his strength, but managed to hold on regardless.

“Shit! Anthony, what happened?” Denthead came running up, sword drawn.

“Kid tried to run away. Little bugger’s sneaky,” Anthony (or Jackass, as Blue had named him) grunted. Four stopped thrashing, realizing he had no hopes of escaping now. He gazed forlornly at the four sword, which laid on the porch, sheathed. Denthead went to pick it up, along with the rest of Four's stuff from where Jackass had dropped it.

“Let's get him to the orphanage, I don't want to be responsible for a runner,” Denthead snarked, turning on his heel and leading the way through the crowd. Four could feel Jackass huff as he followed.

One thing was for sure, Four hated this even more. Being bear-hugged by a complete stranger made his skin itch. The only old man that could hug him in full armor is Time, thank you very much.

Pushing any need to be mature aside, Four went boneless. He reveled in the way Jackass faltered, struggling to get a good hold on him.

“Come on, kid, can you be a little more mature about this?” Jackass muttered.

“Apparently, you think I'm a child, so I may as well act like one,” Four spat, trying to be as heavy as humanly possible. Jackass just sighed and adjusted his grip again.

“I miss my brothers,” Four thought bitterly.

“So, honey, what's your name?” The lady sitting across from him, Ms. Pori, asked. The guards had dropped him off with her, apparently trusting her to keep him in line. So here he was, sitting on a plush sofa across from a heavy-set woman with the most smile lines he had ever seen.

Four thought about it for a moment. What name should he give her?

“You can call me Four,” he decided. It sounded much weirder than Link, but it wasn't like he planned on staying here long. Surprisingly, she didn't react to the strange name, smiling at him and jotting it down on her clipboard.

“Alright, Four, and how old are you?” She asked.

“One billion,” he snarked, knowing she wouldn't believe him anyway. A distinctly red part of him felt bad for being rude.

Surprisingly, she laughed. “Alright then. I'll just put your age as unknown,” Ms. Pori smiled. “Are there any parents or relatives we can contact?”

Four sighed. He knew who to contact, but if Time told his brothers, he would never hear the end of it. He just hoped Time would keep this a secret.

“Lon Lon ranch,” Four answered. “My older brother, Link, lives there,” he clarified. 

“How old is your brother?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Four paused. How old was Time?

“Old enough,” Four decided. “He owns the ranch with his wife.”

“Alright then!” she chirped, standing up. “I'll contact him soon. For now, would you like to see your room?”

Four sighed, but stood up to follow her nonetheless. He didn't really care, he was escaping as soon as he could anyway. This was embarrassing enough and he really didn't want his brothers to have to pick him up from the orphanage.

A bell dinged as Time pushed the door open. It had been about a week since he had gotten the letter. Malon made up an excuse about having to go to castletown, leaving the ranch in Twilight, Sky, and Wild’s capable hands. Malon was currently leading the boys on errands around the other side of castletown. Time considered telling his boys about the situation, but then remembered that Four had blackmail on him from the truth serum incident. So, he decided to keep it to himself.

--

These ones were really fun to revisit! These are so stupid and I love them.

[resurrection-of-soul]

Flashback | PSYCHOBREAK 6

Writer: Akira (日日日)

Characters: Rei, Koga, Adonis, Kaoru

Rei: If indeed these are seeds sown by my own hands, I must now pluck them ere they deepen their roots. To ensure I never repeat this folly, and to ensure I do not lose anyone ever again.

[ For the best viewing experience, please read directly on my blog! ♪ ]

Time: That night. In a practice room inside the ES building.

Rei: Look here, Puppy ♪ What's this I have? A cute little ball~? You desire it, do you not? Go get it~! ☆

Koga II: [Wooooof! ★]

Adonis II: [...... (He's fidgeting like he wants to play too.)]

Rei: Kukuku. Despite their perfect resemblance to Koga and Adonis, these two are truthfully but newborn babes. How precious ♪

Kaoru: It's nice that the fakes are surprisingly easy to get along with, but, like… Are you really sure this is okay, Rei-kun?

Rei: Come now, 'tis Adonis-kun's turn next ♪ Wouldst thou not pull upon the other end of this rope I'm holding? It shall give thy muscles a workout, and, moreover, 'twould be a most enjoyable pastime. Delightful, is it not?

Adonis II: [……♪]

Kaoru: The fact you're besties now is cool and all, but are you, like, even listening? You wanna try not ignoring me?

Rei: But of course I am not ignoring you. Never again shall I avert my gaze from the beloved children who yearn for me.

Kaoru: Who the heck is yearning for you?

Rei: …I find myself pondering a few things.

Kaoru: Hm?

Rei: Naturally, even if others wish it of me, I am not an omniscient, omnipotent god; such a feat would be beyond me even if I, too, wished it so. My inability to predict this peculiar predicament attests to that truth. Nevertheless, I stand a tad older than the rest of you, and 'tis not as though I ventured overseas simply to seize a rare opportunity to engage in indolence. In comparison to you all, I am akin to an older brother with just a tad bit more life's experience.

Kaoru: So like, what's your point? Are you trying to brag about being older? Pushing people around cause they're younger than you is, like, seriously hateable y'know? It's, like, power harassment or whatever, okay?

Rei: Kukuku. How uncharacteristically agitated you are, Kaoru-kun. Well, 'tis inevitable in these circumstances. Keep thy heart calm as the surface of a still lake. Should the elder ones begin to sink, the younger ones shall be beset with unease.

Kaoru: I know, I know. Acting like a proper senpai is tough, huh? So? What was it you were thinking about?

Rei: Yes, well. Though I have no concrete evidence at this point, I have a general idea about what sequence of events which led to these peculiar circumstances. I have also gained a rough understanding of our current predicament. In other words, I suspect I've grasped the truth behind this mysterious situation we've found ourselves in.

Kaoru: Oooh, as expected! Amazing, guess the case is closed¹ ♪

Rei: 'Tis not so remarkable. Given enough time, you most probably could have pieced it together as well. You are the son of a wise scholar, after all. However, you are a pragmatic child. This case must present a bit of a challenge for you, given the unrealistic elements involved.

Kaoru: By unrealistic elements, you mean… Ahhh, so it really is like that after all, huh?

Rei: Indeed. The question now is, how may we extricate ourselves from this situation? You will surely understand this metaphor: we find ourselves in a locked room. There exists only one exit, and to open it, a special key is required. Yet this key lies hidden amongst countless objects strewn about the confines of the room.

Kaoru: It's like a high-difficulty escape room.

Rei: Aye, one with no hints provided. More unfortunate still, there is not time enough to scrutinize each object one by one in search of the key. Yet, somehow, we must escape before the reality we live in becomes distorted and collapses in on itself.

Kaoru: Well, since it's you we're talking about here, you've probably already come up with some way to get us out. That's totally just wishful thinking, though ♪

Rei: If someone makes a wish, then as Superstar Sakuma Rei-senpai, it is my job to fulfill it.

Rei: …There is one method I wish to try. However, it involves a rather risky gamble. I bear some concern about the great burden it might place upon the body, specifically the brain.

Kaoru: "That's why I, alone, shall do it." You weren't about to say some stand-offish thing like that, right? UNDEAD's problems are everyone's problems, so let's share the burden.

Rei: Kukuku. My, now there are words you never would have spoken in the past. Having so recently been reminded of our former selves, those words resonate with the weight of profound emotion. I am deeply touched.

Kaoru: Don't make fun of me. So? What is it you want to try? How are we going to get ourselves out of this crazy situation?

Rei: We dream. During my investigation of the AIIE Experimental Facility the other day, I thoroughly inspected the equipment we were connected to, the drugs we were prescribed, as well as the manuals on how to handle it all. As one might expect, 'twas so full of technical terms as to be quite difficult to parse, but with the help of someone in my clan who is good with such things, I was able to roughly understand its contents. Thus, should we desire it, we may once more return to the dream of those days long gone— To the memories of that time when DEADMANZ faded away, and we, UNDEAD, awoke. The answer most likely awaits us therein.

Kaoru: Back into that dream again, huh? It's, like, seriously embarrassing having to watch my past self act out like that, but if there's no other way then I guess that's that.

Rei: Your youthful aura in those days still bore an aspect of endearing charm. Meanwhile, I was naught but a bundle of shame.

Rei: Yet even the person I am now, who is ashamed of who he was in days past, may well be regarded as shameful by the person I become a decade hence. Thus, let us exert our efforts in the present to forestall any future regrets. Wouldst thou assist me in this endeavor, Kaoru-kun?

Kaoru: That goes without saying, doesn't it? I'll tell you this as many times as I have to: this isn't just your problem, it's ours too.

Rei: I wonder if that is truly the case… 'Tis still mere speculation, but I suspect I am to blame for this incident.

Rei: Seeds left unwatered in days past have sprouted malevolently in spite, afflicting us with their curse. If indeed these are seeds sown by my own hands, I must now pluck them ere they deepen their roots. To ensure I never repeat this folly, and to ensure I do not lose anyone ever again.

[ ☆ ]

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Literal tl for this line is "amazing, [you're a] great detective." But in JP, the series Detective Conan is "Great Detective Conan, and the phrase "great detective" is practically synonymous with it. I've thrown the reference in using the American title of the show instead, since there is absolutely no way to make "detective" an obvious reference to Conan.

[guywrestlingaddiction]

What turned me gay (not really) - Alex Wright

A while back, I came across the sidelineland.com blog and while you would think that the heavy themes around erotic wrestling would interest me, I was mainly intrigued by the author's tongue and cheek thoughts on "What turned me gay".  The intention here was not a serious exposition on the root cause of "turning someone gay" but rather what "gay" impressionable moments have led us all to be the people we are today.  Although the author doesn't regularly post anymore, this blog is still worth checking out and in honor of these impressionable "gay" moments I bring you - 

What turned me gay (not really) ... 

WCW jobbers, specifically Alex Wright turned me gay.  And I know a lot of gay adults out there probably have similar experiences fantasizing about Alex when they were a kid but this is different, he was literally the first guy I recall having feelings for.  Up until that point in my life I just thought that I was a "late bloomer" or that one day heterosexuality would magically click or whatever self-deluding nonsense I fed myself at the time.  But for me, watching Alex was a turning point.  Alex Wright to me, was my first male lust.  

Alex with chest hair!

If you've read my other posts then you know that for me, it's not just about the hot body, although Alex had that 10 times over.  There was just something in the way his opponents dominated him and accentuated each and every long and flawless muscle on his torso, or his arm, or his back.   

Alex Wright v Chris Benoit (WCW)

Lusting for Alex lead to interest in other wrestlers and while my friends were avid fans of WWF due to the storylines and production values, I was a hardcore WCW enthusiast because of Alex and the other fresh jobbers their programing offered.  This was another turning point as well because it was at this point that I started to have less and less in common with my "straight" friends and I began to look for other interests that were separate from them.  So whatever the spark, the impetus, for my eventual embrace of being gay - Alex Wright was pivotal to that transformation.  

Alex v Buddy Wayne (WCW)

I read later that Alex is training or coaching wrestling and I'm glad that he has avoided the fate that sadly so many other professional wrestlers have fallen into.  But in any case, I try not to read too much about my heroes/inspirers (are those the right words?), because for me, Alex Wright will always be that strapping, high flying, sucker for punishment, sex idol, that started it all for me in my youth.  

Selected Appearances [Not all shown]

Alex Wright v Rey Mysterio Jr. (WCW)The size difference in this match was so hot to me at the time

Alex Wright v The Gambler (WCW) Beefy and slightly hairy, yum.

Alex Wright v Doc Dean (WCW)  Alex as a heel! One of my favorite matches.

"Flyin" Brian Pillman vs. Alex Wright (WCW) I used to have endless thoughts about him in this position

Alex Wright v Pat Rose (WCW 1995)  I vividly recall taping this match on the family VCR and hiding the tape in my bedroom

2 minutes into this match and Paul Roma is already going for the low blow.

Alex Wright v Paul Roma (WCW) - Superbrawl VThere was some sexually charged rivalry between these two.  In my mind, I liked to pretend that they were going through a messy break up, with Alex cheating on Paul and Paul wanting to humiliate Alex. 

-

For the original post, check out:

[this-has-returned]

If I remember correctly—from the last time I read about this—I think the stomata on the leaves can make a chorus of tiny sounds. I'm guessing the reason why the pores on our skin don't make sound is because plant cells have rigidity, which can carry sound waves better.

I should maybe ask my biologist friend about this. Take my best guess with a massive chunk of salt.

When I hear back from them, I'll edit below the cut:

I have heard back!

They want to make a few things extremely clear, to combat misinformation:

1. Plants cannot talk. They are making sounds, but it's more akin to creaking bark, and other "mechanical" noises of everyday plant life. Similar to how you can hear a person's heartbeat.

2. There are networks that carry stimuli between plants (root networks etc, which are still being studied).

3. Plants can feel sensations (and receive stimuli from networks), but they are not aware of the sensations and stimuli. It's more like a reflex.

4. Plants do not have active memory. If basil bruises to the touch, it's because of a simple reflex/chemical mechanism. The basil is not aware of the touch, it does not remember the touch, and it is not consciously reacting to the touch. Something about the structure of basil causes this bruising effect, like a reflex or simple reaction.

5. If plants were aware of their surroundings and had active memory and the capacity to ponder and act on memories (beyond the short and long term chemical effects of reflexes), then plants would probably try to eat us in our sleep, because they are active decomposers.

This is all from my biologist friend, not me, I am just the messenger.

[oranginacultist]

So back in high school I was forced to take economics. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I suppose. Money is the blood of our society, so learning how the commercial circulatory system works can be useful. That I hated every second of it was, to some degree, a personal issue. I can admit to that.

But.

My teacher spend a class showing us the entirety of Greed with John Stossel, a 1998 special on the nature of "greed" and why even though it's objectively a bad thing, it's actually super awesome and the sole reason for the existence of everything we know and love. I should note that this was in the year of lord 2008, a full ten years after the special was made and just around the time of that huge US economic crisis that many people are still trying to crawl their way out of. It sure was a choice to choose this particular moment in history to show your class of impressionable students the joys of trickle-down economics.

The piece stuck with me. I've never seen Wall Street because I hate Capitalism and America, but I do know the quote "Greed is good" because it's quoted in Greed with John Stossel a number of times. As nearly two decades passed, I would bring the piece and the quote up whenever I happened to be talking about how the United States conditions its people to believe in self interest above all else, from a very young age. But I could never remember what the special was actually called, and many people thought I was just misremembering Wall Street, which again I've never seen and don't plan to. But I did start to wonder if I was misremembering things. Did my inherent bias against the American Dream and subsequent evolution into an adult who was recently told they "might be kind of an anarchist" perhaps cause me to think of this obscure 90's special as worse than it was?

I'm pleased to announce that no, it did not. I finally tracked the thing down (it's on YouTube in six 7-minute parts) and was just as horrified and angry about it as I was when I was a teenager. Some of my favorite terrible things from it include:

John Stossel calling scientists "greedy for knowledge" and artists "greedy to create something new."

John Stossel talking about some experiment where people could take dollars bills from a bowl, but every ten seconds if there something left, the money would be doubled, and using the group's initial inability to not just grab all the money immediately as proof that people are inherently greedy all the time - despite the fact that they later decided to work together to take the money in shifts to make sure everyone got some, which Stossel decided was proof that only greed can inspire teamwork.

"Children who are born into poverty are fascinated by capitalism" said by a guy who randomly decided to leave his import/export business to teach business math at "the worst school in New York City." Stossel then added "We tend to think of capitalism as something only the privileged practice, but it's actually the great equalizer." This was then followed by objectivist philosopher and Ayn Rand fanboy David Kelly saying "It's the poor who need capitalism the most." At no point did any of these men ponder the root causes of poverty.

The entire section with Jeff Ellis, who owns a for-profit lifeguard training business that (at the time, not sure if they still) actively stalks and films their lifeguards at random while they're on the job to make sure they're not slacking off. The point of the segment is that you get better quality lifeguards from a for-profit program than from a non-profit, like the Red Cross. Never mind how underfunded non-profits are, or the fact that anyone will perform better when they know they're being spied on. This is one of the few sections I vividly remembered from high school, for some reason.

Pretty much everything that comes out of David Kelly's mouth.

Computer Chip CEO TJ Rogers laying off hundreds of employees despite his company making a profit and being worth 2.8 billion dollars, then telling us in his mansion next to his private vineyard that, "I build it, I own it, I deserve it," followed by "I could take what I have and never have to work another day in my life," then finally, "...the world's better off when I make a dollar than when I don't." We're supposed to be on his side, because he created new wealth.

John Stossel saying to the audience "Frankly, I didn't see any of you turning down your last pay raise" like it's some kind of profound wisdom. Joke's on him, the only pay raise I've ever gotten without changing positions was $1, which I wasn't even given the choice to refuse.

The continued insistence that the richer these CEO's get the better off "we" will be, as if Stossel is a.) one of "us" and b.) presenting any genuine evidence to support this claim beyond "creating more wealth and jobs is a thing."

TJ getting mad at Ted Turner because he gives money away, saying he should instead take his money and "invest it, you can't help people any other, better way than to invest it and to have the companies and buildings and plants that are created with his investment create wealth and jobs and products for other people."

Ted Turner asking John Stossel why the rich can't create jobs and give money to those in need, to which Stossel answers, "because you and Bill Gates are so good at creating jobs, and isn't that the best gift?" which causes Ted Turner to walk off as everyone on set laughs at him.

"So the next time someone tells you you're greedy, tell them that greed created civilization, is that so bad?"

I realize I just basically recapped this entire monstrosity rather than listed the highlights. I also realize the futility of getting angry at something that's over twenty-five years old. I'm less angry about the special itself, and more angry that an educator tasked with teaching economics felt the need to devote an entire class to this, but failed to teach any of us how to do our taxes. Or about where our taxes go. Or about the literal financial crisis that was happening around us. But then, if you truly believe that greed is good, then discussion how greed just completely destroyed everything isn't something you'd want to touch with a ten foot poll.

My mother later met my economics teacher at some sort of school event. She knew how much I hated this class and this teacher, but was polite about it. My teacher commented that I was "a bit of socialist" but then said, "most are at that age."

I hated economics class.

I still hate that economics class.

Greed is not good.

[the-writer-in-the-winter-forest]

Homestead Journal Entries: 1.0

Nicholas Romano Entry

If you were to ask anyone exactly what they were doing on October 14th, 2051 when the news of extraterrestrial contact had spread across the globe, they'd be able to recall every detail.

Seems like everyone knew exactly how to feel and what to think of it all at the time.

All I could think about was how excited I was.

Jennifer Kelly Entry

The Streets of Austin were filled with crazed people forming groups huddled into any store, bar, or restaurant that had a Tv or radio broadcasting the retrieval of an alien craft that had crashed out in the pacific ocean.

I had been in town meeting friends when Maizah called Nicky shortly after.

They both told me to stay safe.

How the hell is anyone supposed to do that now?

Maizah Bashir Entry

I was visiting family in Mecca when we heard the news. My siblings and I sat in silence and shock my aunties were praying feverishly as we all watched the live broadcast at the crash site in the Pacific.

I remember how tightly Baba was holding Ammi's hand. Children never forget the looks on their parent's faces when they see how afraid they are.

My family and I didn't know what to think let alone what to do.

Looking back on it now I think that's what scared me the most, not knowing what would come next.

Even now, that fear hasn't completely gone away.

Theodore Sullivan Entry

I always push through fears when regarding the unknown. I was always taught that there is nothing to fear once you understand it.

Science is always rooted in facts. Truth.

The same can be said for someone's emotions and instincts.

Everything about this crash in the Pacific is making me question if the unknown, in this case, is worth the risk of looking into.

I mean, every discovery comes with the chances of unavoidable dangers.

And once you open those gates they aren't so easy to close again.

Zander Khale Entry

I know that years from now I'll never forget the thudding in my chest when the coast guard and I inched closer and closer to the ship that crashed out in the Pacific.

I'm still amazed that I hadn't blacked out from the sheer amount of overload that my mind was experiencing.

Millions of questions that I wasn't sure I knew how to ask let alone to whom.

I kept thinking about my parents, and my siblings. What would they do if they were in my position? Would they be thinking the same things, feeling the same things?

Venette Izen Entry

My light within has always been a comfort for me. Always constant, always growing with me. But I feel it dimming more and more every day.

I've hidden it well, and with the empathic abilities of my species, that is no simple task.

The physicality of the effort is exhausting as well as an emotional toll.

I feel out of place, wrong, fading.

Gaana'Kosh Entry

I have seen countless buildings across Tholme in ruin, and yet seeing the remnants of my dear seminar halls is what causes me the most heartache.

I once expanded minds in this very room. Provided countless answers to questions or at least ponder and discuss them with my students until we come to a suitable answer.

Papers and texts lay in tattered ruins. The presentation slate at the front of the room still held a few smudged scribbles from the very last lesson I gave.

I search the room for anything else salvageable though I only use the excuses to visit this spot when I can.

Despite the pain, it brings I still visit, I reminder of what once was.

My time to leave becomes clear when I feel the ground beneath me tremble. Time to return to my family.

Survival doesn't wait for anyone.

Peth'lyn Entry

Evolutionary renewal

An occurrence that happens every dozen thousand years or so. They are very few, in the billion years of our home's existence, only three have taken place.

Events brought on by natural occurrences bring about an excision event that devastates Tholme and its populists.

I fear however that this civil conflict is what will be the first renewal that is caused by our own people.

My boys, my children were so eager to fight. Even more eager to pick their sides on who they deemed right and wrong.

I can take no more of it. Gaan has orchestrated a plan for us and a few others to get off-world and retreat somewhere safe to wait out the conflict.

Very few Tholmes have ventured from our home, but I've gotten tired of survival.

I'm sorry to my family, to my home, but you both only offer nothing but death. 

[hogwartsmarvelmommy]

Empty Mugs and Unexpected Hugs (H.O) 🔥

Word count: 3.3K

Enemies to lovers

(HarrisonOsterfeildxReader)

Warnings: Smut (fingering, unprotected sex *Wrap it up*) cussing, that’s probably it..

🌼🌸 MASTERLIST 🌸🌼

With Tom came Harrison, you knew that. What you didn't know was when you had agreed to a roommate situation with Tom, you were also agreeing to one with Haz. “Tom, you said ‘would you like to live with me.’ not ‘me and Haz’” you told him as you stared at the blonde boy who was carrying box after box. He opted to do this shirtless, despite the cold London breeze. A sheen layer of sweat glistened on his overly defined chest, and you hated the way you longed to reach out and touch him.

“I figured you just knew?” Tom said coyly rubbing the back of his neck as he saw the way you stared down his best friend. He wasn't blind, he knew the hatred you supposedly had towards Haz was something with much deeper roots, but anytime he tried to figure it out, you would deflect and change the subject.

“I'm not doing either of your dishes,” you said loudly enough to catch Harrison's attention.

“Wouldn't expect you to, princess,” he winked at you. With a loud groan, and a dramatic flip of your hair, you proceed to your empty room to unpack your things.

Living with Tom and Harrison was way more entertaining than you had ever thought possible. Most nights were spent at the dining room table with one to many empty beer bottles laid out in front of you, while you laughed and joked about things that were probably not funny. Of course there were also the quiet days when Tom was away filming with Haz in tow, and on those days you would usually have the company of one or both of the twins.

“You should just admit you love him,” Sam said suddenly while you were taking a sip of your beer, causing you to spit your drink all over the table.

“Sammy!” You cried out the sting of beer in your nostrils. “I do not,”

“Y/N, It's written all over your face,” Harry argued. They were supposed to be on your side, you had been friends with the twins for years, the only reason you even knew Tom, was because of Sam and Harry..

“I do not love Harrison,” You told them, but even you were unconvinced by your own words.

It was late when you heard the front door to the flat open. The twins had left a few hours prior, Tom was in the states, and Harrison was with him, so who was coming into the apartment?

You were in just a shirt, an old one of Harrison's you had taken a while back, and a pair of cheeky underwear. Tip toeing to your bedroom door and grabbing a golf club from your bag, you proceeded to sneak down the hallway to the large living area where the front door was. Your heart was pounding with the thought of having to defend the place against an intruder, in just your underwear nonetheless. You saw a shadow, next to the couch, and raised the club ready to attack. As soon as you went for it, the lamp flicked on and Harrison saw you charging towards him with a golf club. Luckily he had fast reflexes, catching the club in one hand and your quickly moving body in the other. “Christ Y/N. What are you doing?” he asked, holding your body close to his. You felt your muscles relax into him, thankful he was in fact not an intruder, and you wouldn't have to explain why there was an intruder beaten and bloody by your hand to the authorities.

“I thought you were a robber,” You admitted coyly, stepping back a bit to look at him. His piercing blue eyes looked deep into yours, a small smile on his lips as his eyes trailed down your overly exposed body.

“So you would charge at an intruder with a bright pink putter, in just your underwear?” he asked you. “Also is that my shirt?” you could feel your cheeks heat up. You pushed away from his body with a scoff and turned to go back to your room, already done with him, but his hand caught your wrist, pulling your body back into his arms. His grip was tight as he held your body close to his. Something was off. Something was wrong. This was abnormal, Haz without Tom, and showing you any sort of affection.

“Hazzy, why are you home?” You asked, finally wrapping your arms around his waist, accepting the unexpected hug that you usually would not share with Him.

“Family stuff, I've been back for a few days. Just been with my mom,” He said, still holding you. You instinctively hug him tighter, getting the feeling that something bad had happened.

“You okay?” You asked him quietly. To which he just hummed into your head, still holding you.

“Better now,” He whispers. You're so confused, and exposed. You hear the twins' voices in the back of your head. ‘Just admit it, you love him.’ Was that what you had been feeling for months on end? Is that the feeling you were feeling now, making your stomach turn? “I missed you,” He whispers and you swear you could feel him press a kiss against the top of your head. It's too much, so suddenly.

“I need to..” you push your body away, scrambling to find any words to get you away, your mind is clouded by thoughts and feelings. “Pants,” You finally let out, leaving Harrison in the living room, stunned at how flustered you had become in the matter of a millisecond.

As soon as you're back in your room, you let out a groan, you're so confused. He missed you? You? y/n? Why would he miss you? All the two of you did was bicker, bicker and flirt. Flirt. Because you did in fact have feelings for Harrison. Feelings that were not not supposed to be had towards him..

“Y/N? Can I come in?” you haven't even put on pants yet when his voice calls to you through the closed door.

“Sure,” You call out to him, desperately searching your floor for the discarded sweats you had had on a few hours before. Nowhere, great. He cleared his throat from behind you, while you were bent over, ass on full display. Fully aware now, of how exposed you are you decide to just crawl under your blanket on your bed.

“Did I do something?” He asked, concern plastered all over his face.

“What? No, why would you think-”

“You just ran from me, like literally ran, after trying to attack me with a golf club,” He points out, making you cringe.

“I- Uh, yeah. I'm sorry about nearly attacking you,” You mumble, a little more embarrassed than you'd like to admit.

“So why'd you run away?” he pondered, watching you closely as you struggled to find your words. Unbeknownst to you Harrison was also having an internal crisis. You were Y/N. Someone Tom considered a little sister, Harry and Sam's best friend, but he couldn't help the way that you made him smile every time you couldn't open a jar, and would defeatedly ask him for help after way too long of attempting it yourself. Or the way you would curse at the line of dirt that you could never seem to sweep into the dustpan. The way you would always make a cup of tea before finishing the last, leaving so many mugs with a single drink all over the place, something that would drive any other person crazy, but he just found it endearing, and was sure if it ever stopped, he would miss it.

“You said you missed me,” You finally managed to say, making a smile spread over Harrison's lips. He took a chance, stepping into your room, towards where you were sitting on the bed, and when you didn't object, he crossed the empty space sitting right next to you.

“I did miss you,” He said, grabbing your hand and squeezing it gently.

“We fight, and argue,” You started, obviously ready to explain all the reasons he shouldn't have missed you.

“And we flirt, and share memories, and glances. You drive me nuts y/n. But the second I step out that door, I miss it all. The obnoxious quirks, the way you can't pronounce some things correctly, no matter how often I correct you. I miss hearing you call out goodnight to me in the nighttime, and how you always wish me to have sweet dreams. I don't know when, or why it happened, but yeah. When I'm gone I miss you,” you feel a tear escape your eye at his confession, not sure exactly what to say or think for that matter. His finger caresses your cheek wiping the tear from your face.

“Haz?” You whisper.

“Yes?” He asks, full attention turned to you.

“I miss you when you're gone too,” You finally admit, a weight lifting from your chest. He's thankful to know his feelings aren't completely one sided. Your admission of missing him is at least enough to confirm that you don't actually hate him. “Can I be honest?” You ask, catching even yourself off guard.

“Please,” He says, waiting for you to say whatever you had to say.

“I- '' You take a deep breath, bracing yourself for rejection and embarrassment, but if you wait much longer, you'll never say what you have to. “I get so irritated with you, because everything you do just draws me in. I can't not stare, or listen. It drives me nuts, to be so flustered by everything that you do, and it's the simple things Haz, the way you insist on sitting on the left side of the couch, or how you always make sure I've eaten after a long day. The way you constantly clean up my mugs that I leave everywhere, and you have never once said a thing about them, even if you have had every right to,” you don't even want to look at him, afraid he will be appalled, but you have to say it. “I’m pretty sure I've managed to fall in love with you, while trying desperately to hate you,” you whisper.

That's enough of a confirmation for Harrison, that you're on the same page. With his hand gently on your face, pulling your chin up towards him, he leans in, pressing his lips ever so gently against yours. And the electricity that you both feel from the slightest touch? Fucking magic.

“I tried so hard not to love you,” He whispers. You look up at him through your lashes, his eyes gazing directly into yours, and it's like you're looking at the sky on a clear summer day. “And dear God did I fail,” he whispers, making you melt. He leans back down, this time kissing you with something so much more. It's meaningful, it's beautiful, it's everything you have wanted without realizing it. Your hands are against his chest, feeling each thud of his heart, while his are cupping your face. He kisses you like his life depends on it, and in that moment it surely feels like it does. He deepens the kiss, his tongue making its appearance in your mouth. It's everything and more. You wrap your arms around his neck, wanting to extend this moment forever, and his slip down to your waist, pulling you closer. He pulls away, and a soft whine escapes your lips.

“Tell me to stop,” He whispers, as he caresses your cheek. Eyes searching your face, making sure he's not crossing a line. You lean into his hand, closing your eyes and letting a soft humm leave your lips. With no objection from you, he reconnects your lips for a third time tonight. This time it's hot, so so hot. You can feel the ache forming in your stomach as his lips move from yours to your neck. You need him, you have to have him, just a little taste and you realize you have been starving. With a swift motion you're straddling him now, leaning down into him instead of leaning up, giving him so much more access to your neck and jaw, and then he remembers an unanswered question from before.

“This is my shirt,” He says, this time it's not a question, just a statement.

“Yeah,” You giggle. His eyebrows raise a bit as he remembers all the shirts that have seemingly disappeared over the last few months.

“Do you have others?” He asks. You feel like you have been caught red handed, nowhere to go or hide.

“I- Yes,” You admit. “I like to sleep in them,”

“In just your underwear?” He asks, to which you shyly nod. He throws his head back and lets out a dramatic sigh. He's done for, “That is so fucking hot,” he mutters before leaning back in taking your bottom lip between his and sucking it slightly. He feels his pants tighten as your hips grind into him instinctively, and you're so wet and warm he can practically feel it through his jeans.

“Hazzy,” you moan as he pushes you down onto him, providing a friction you desperately need, even though it's not what you want.

“What is it?” He asks you, as he does it a second time. Your head falls down onto his shoulder, and you don't know if you can even express what it is you want.

“Can you..” You trail off.

“Can i?” he asks, needing to hear you say it out loud.

“Touch me?” The words are like music to his ears, flipping you onto your back as he slips his hand between your bodies, running his fingers along the damp fabric of your ruined panties. The fact that you're this wet from just kissing is driving him crazy. He slips his hand into your panties, finally sliding his long digits along your slit. One thing about Harrison that drove you absolutely crazy was his hands, because dear god were they perfect, his long fingers and veiny tops, you'd be lying if you said you had never gotten off imagining his fingers in the place of yours, and now, actually having the real thing, you felt like you were flying.

As he slid his finger inside you, you let out a gasp, his being so much bigger than your own, and it being way too long since you had been with anyone.

“Say the word and I'll stop,” He says, as he looks at your face twisted in pleasure, but he can't tell that it's not pain, he's never seen you like this before. This is a whole new territory.

“Please.. Please don't,” You nearly beg as your hips buck against his hand. The smirk that replaces the concern on his face is unbelievably hot, his pupils are blown with lust and you're sure yours are as well. He thrusts his one finger in and out grazing against your spot each and every time, his palm rubbing your clit as he does so. You're going to lose it, this is so much better than you could have ever imagined. He pulls his finger out, causing a whine from you, which quickly turns to a gasp as he replaces it with two. If you're falling apart to his fingers you're not sure how you'll be able to handle his cock.

“Hazzy,” You moan out, right on the brink of losing it.

“Come on my fingers princess,” He coos, and that is precisely what you do, your whole body shakes in pleasure, and your toes curl, and he keeps going, as your walls squeeze tightly around his fingers.

Once your legs finally stop shaking he pulls his hand away, and although that was probably the most powerful orgasm you had ever had, it is not nearly enough. “Haz.” You say quietly as he peppers kisses on your neck.

“Hmm?” He hums.

“Need more, need you,” you say, and his head peaks up, a smile on his face, a bit in excitement, a bit in surprise.

“You sure?” he asks, to which you respond by kissing him, you nibble at his bottom lip, and he lets out a moan. You reach down unbuttoning his jeans and sliding his zipper down, and he assists you in pulling them down. You can clearly see his length through his boxers, his cock, rock hard and leaking on to his boxers, it's flattering. You let your fingers trail his length and you can feel his eyes on your hand, and you're not sure if he's worried, nervous, or excited. You slide his boxers down and his cock springs free, and you can see the violent red hue of the tip, he's begging to be touched and he hasn't even said a thing. You wrap your hand around him and he lets out a gasp at the sudden contact, you stroke your hand up and down a few times before, he pushes you back onto the bed and climbs over you. He slides his fingers in the hem of your panties and slowly drags them down your legs, before dropping them to the floor, and then takes his time lifting his shirt over his head, exposing his chest, you follow suit, and throw the shirt you had on to the ground. You're both completely naked now, no turning back, you've made it this far already.

"Y/n, baby we don't have to," he whispers against your ear.

"Hazzy, stop worrying and fuck me please," you nearly beg as you pull his lips to yours in a desperately hungry kiss.

"Christ," he mutters as he lines himself at your entrance, pushing into you at a slow, agonizing speed. Of course he's only doing this to make sure you're ok, his fingers seemed like so much to your tight pussy he's worried he's going to hurt you. But the way you moan out his name gives him full confidence that you in fact are fine. Once he's fully sure you're fine to take him, he speeds up his thrusts, finding a place that is perfect for the both of you. Your legs wrap around his waist as he pounds into you. You're not sure you're going to last long.

"Not gonna last," you moan into his lips.

"S'okay, me either," he says back. He slips his hand down, rubbing your clit strategically. You let out another loud moan before his name leaves your lips, repeatedly as you convulse around his cock, and it's only one more thrust before he completely empties himself into you.

It's a few quiet moments of your bodies laying flush against each other, enjoying the afterglow of sex. "I'm gonna clean you up," he whispers in your ear before pushing himself up and off of you. He disappears from the room for what feels like an eternity, but is back within a minute with a warm rag and a glass of water, and he then cleans you up, being gentle with how sensitive you now are.

Your eyes get heavy after everything is said and done, and you're worried he's going to disappear from your room, but he lays next to you instead. Pulling you into his arms.

"Hazzy?" You whisper after a few minutes.

"Hmm?"

"Is everything ok with your family?" You ask, getting worried this may have been a lapse in judgement on his part because of heightened emotions.

"Yes. Char decided to give us a scare and disappear for a weekend, so I came back to try and keep my mom from murdering her," he admitted with a chuckle.

"Oh," you giggled.

"Y/n?" He whispers.

"Yeah?"

"I meant it. I missed you," he says, pressing a kiss atop of your head. You smile before falling asleep in his arms. Maybe this was a mistake, maybe it would be forever. All you knew was it felt right.

[system-of-a-feather]

I guess I'll settle with this soundtrack for now. But honestly the whole autism diagnosis came up because we were trying to pass by one of our long term confusions by which is just how extremely low personal understanding and motivation to be "part of a group" or to gain approval or maintain attachments and just this general deeply rooted social instinct and all that people seem to have that we just really don't. Cause it goes beyond just trauma and dissociation on the account that we literally don't have a part that expresses grief over our parents neglect or abuse in the sense of being loved, nor do we have a part that clings to an abuser nor have we ever really been motivated to try to make someone like us beyond how we were taught to "pick people that needed us to be our friends cause they'd be more loyal" (its fucked in practice we know). We just have this huge subtype of alter like completely missing in our system and have little reason to suspect they are there. We have this large adversion to molding to someone else's standards or joining a group someone else made because we don't innately care about JOINING anything and those that we do, we have a horrible tendency to dominate and take it over and co-opt the group under us cause we don't change for our environment and peers, we change the environment and peers for us or leave

And we keep it in check and shit, but every few months our subsystem especially (minus XIV) sit here and try to figure out what is wrong with us (not derogatory, cause we dont care if something is "wrong" or "broken" its whatever, it just is an INCOMPLETE picture and mystery we cant solve) cause in every trauma space, DID space, AuDHD and all space we go into we always just get hit with the realization that we REALLY don't understand or relate to what seems to be this innate need and drive and desire for belonging and how most people experience love, cause we have parts that exudingly love people and things, but even then we still look at it and go "well we could live without it at any point"

So its just always baffled us. NPD and ASPD kinda explained shit but not really, and Autism kinda explained shit, but not really and C-PTSD, DID, and attachment styles explained shit but not enough that it felt like the right piece in the puzzle

And honestly I think its a combination between what our therapist called one of the three main types / theories of autism which is the "doesn't differentiate between objects and people in terms of empathy and attachment" combined with disorganized/dismissive attachment and the autism + excessive trauma and neglect + attachment style issues + the amount of crisises we faced at a young age and survived ended up just creating this stupidly absurd independence and sense of self agency that we just kinda completely missed this whole... social support thing cause we just jumped into creating social systems and organizations before ever being part of one

But thats a lot of hogwash, cause really we still never got a clear issue or fully pieced together answer as to What the Fuck is with us, cause with however much we've hung around in mental illness communities we really havent found many people with the sheer level of deep rooted hyper independence and deep inability to understand the need to fit in like, at all.

Its weird shit honestly and it really doesn't matter to us in practice or how we see ourselves as we have zero intent to fix it anymore than we already keep an eye out to keep it from being maladaptive - XIV everytime we spend time pondering this always goes "for real guys who TF cares it serves us like a god" - but Riku and I sit here with our hands on our chin cause we know it doesnt mean shit but we really like to have our completed webbed visions of how shit works internally and with the world and thosr around us and this thing is just a black hole in our understanding of ourselves as a whole and our relation to others.

(Btw im a gatekeeper so I'm allowed to do this and give Riku the pass to do this, I've been greenlit by Ray as well so dw /hj)

See the thing in our system thats annoying about being a fragment is that unlike the more developed parts that have a musical signature and natural draw to music that the system then intentionally conditions and gives rights to - I just don't have anything that stands out and I'm like "You know maybe I'll be involved more, I kind of like how things make my brain work, I should try to set up a means of contact by finding my music signature" and I just don't have it or any clue what it would be

Like yay. This is helpful

-404

[adelior]

Name: Unconditionally

Author: R. Adelio

Genre: Romance, Minecraft, Comedy, Fluff

Main Lead: Technoblade, Dreamwastaken, DreamXD

Female Lead: Reader

Chapter: 3

Special Addition: Tchnomaid, Blob Dream, Accidental Marriage To Technoblade

Letters: 8,087

Tag: Territorial Behavior, Delusional Behavior From Wilbur, Wilbur Slowly Tipping Away Into Madness, Fluff, Possessiveness, Deep Kisses, Blob Dream

<- ->

Wilbur stood up, his fists clenching. You noticed the odd behavior coming from the brunette, it was unusual for him to look so stressed, and on top of that bothered. "Wil, what's wrong? You can't just lie to me if something is happening" You caught the way his fists tightened. "Don't worry, it's nothing."

He gave you a reassuring smile, turning to the door and leaving you behind with a questionable expression on his face. Wilbur looked pissed, but what could it possibly be that made him this distressed.

° ° °

"M-Mm.." You whimpered, eyes closed as the being kept exploring your mouth with its tongue. His eyes narrowed, enjoying the way your body reacted so naturally to his. "So obedient even in your slumber." The blonde complimented but stopped in his tracks when he sees a man in the corner of his eye.

XD quickly became defensive, hiding your unconscious body under his cloak. "What the.." Wilbur's eyes widened, teeth pulled back into a snarl. "LET HER GO-" The God chuckled, softly patting your head from above his cloak. "A mere human, ordering me to submit what is mine? How ridiculous." He said as he looked down, admiring your kissable lips.

"I'll fucking kill you if you don't let her go."

° ° °

Even thinking back to what he saw gave him the shivers. A God, specifically DreamXD being infatuated with a human? And not just any human, but it just had to be you, someone who he sees as more than just a friend. "Fuck." He cursed under his breath as soon as he exited your room. Once he was far away he punched the nearest wall. "DAMNIT."

"Wilbur..-?" Tommy's voice softened, he was about to call out to him but decided that maybe it wasn't a good idea. "What do you want Tommy?!" Wilbur screamed, stepping back once he realized that he had raised his voice. "Sorry, I'm just.. Stressed from all of this" He chuckled, stroking his bangs back with a sigh.

"That's.. fine? But enough from that man, what are we gonna do about the problem? We can't fucking contact Techno or Phil without actually going to where they are"

"Tommy, I'm well aware that it'll take days for us to get there but it's alright. As long as we resolve this problem we shouldn't complain about it."

"What about [Name]? Will we bring her along?" The kid asked, a hopeful look in his eyes. Soot knew how much Tommy wanted you to experience the world, more than anybody else. "We aren't bringing her, neither are we bringing anybody else. It'll just be us two."

"WHAT? Bro, I'm gonna fucking starve out there. Not to mention it's gonna be cold as fuck in that damn tundra." He complained, childishly stomping his feet on the ground. "Tommy, it's for the sake of everyone, for us. Now, will you join me or not?"

Tommy pondered but eventually gave in with a grumble. "Fine, we better stop by at Tubbo's place when we're heading out"

"Deal."

° ° °

"If you need anything just let me know," Niki said in a soft voice, pressing her hand against your neck, checking if you have a fever. "Niki- I'm not sick so it's okay!" Despite your words, she still looked somewhat puzzled. As if she couldn't connect something but was restricted to tell you. "Well, alright! I'll be at my cottage so just ping me whenever"

"Alright" You responded. "I'll make sure to keep that in mind" She smiled, turning to exit your room. "Is she doing okay?" Tubbo asked in a worried tone, earning a nod from the passing female. "Thank god.." Sighing, he walked in once Niki left the room. The goat hybrid came closer to where you sat on your bed, his hands behind his back.

"Tubbo?"

"Yeahhhhhh?" He dragged his words along, smiling happily as if he's waiting for you to ask what he was hiding, it made you laugh. "Haha, what's in your hand?"

"Oh, this?!" Tubbo happily revealed the flower crown, one that he crafted himself. It took a few hours, but he was able to pick out your favorite flowers on his way back during their exposition. "Wait... Is that for me-" He nodded, gently placing the flower crown on your head. "It suits you! I hope you like it"

"Like it? I LOVE IT TUBBO! Thank you! When did you even have time to make this?" You asked, earning a confident 'hah' from the boy. "I was able to pick out a few of your favorite flowers on our way back. I saw them so I asked Wilbur if I was allowed to bring them home"

Too sweet, you thought. Tubbo was a child who always looked at you with stars in his eyes. It was as if you were one of the many thousands of pulsars that adorned the limitless sky, something that he always admired. "Look I even made one for me, so now we match," He said as he showed his own, one that was decorated in yellow, black, and white flowers.

"How does it look?" Tubbo asked with a sheepish smile. "It looks amazing" You returned the same expression, causing the boy to laugh in satisfaction. "Fuck yeah!"

"Tubboooooooo" Fundy said as he peeked from the door, waving at both you and the male. "We gotta go out now, didn't you say you wanted bees for your bee farm?"

"OH YEAH!"

"Bee farm-" You stared at the brunette with a baffled look on your face. "Oh sorry I didn't tell you, but I'm planning to make a bee farm! I love bees"

Smiling, you waved both of them off. It was always nice to hear Tubbo express his liking for bees. You couldn't blame him for liking them, after all, they were cute when they didn't viciously attack you. "Man now I feel fucking old" You muttered, falling back onto your pillows. "Not to mention, everyone has something to do apart from me"

'Damn that just makes me seem like a freeloader' You thought in your head, smirking at how stupid it was. "Wait I could help farm the Nether Warts-" With that, you quickly changed your clothes and head towards the Nether Portal room. 'I could at least do this. And if I get caught I could just say that I'm preparing ingredients for future potions that I'll be brewing.'

You praised yourself, patting your hand against your right shoulder with a smug smile. 'I'm so smart'

Minutes passed, and you've been working away with growing the Nether Wart farm that's been installed beside the Portal. You managed to harvest at least a stack or two before you became tired. It was more tiring than you expected, but you didn't care. Being able to move around was better than sitting in a singular spot.

"Farming Nether Wart sure is tiring huh?" A male voice asked. "It sure is, takes a lot more strength to pull them out compared to normal crops." You replied, groaning. "That may be true but did you know you could easily harvest them if you heated the roots with lava?"

"Oh, rea- WHAT THE FUCK" You realized how familiar the voice was once your brain started to regain energy after all the moving. "You scared the shit out of me Clay-"

"My bad~" He smirked, pushing himself off of the Nether Portal that was.. lit again..? But how, how did the portal appear again? "Since when did that portal reopen?" You questioned, walking past the male who was outstretching his arms, expecting a hug. "How the hell is this..-"

"Rude, I didn't even get a hello how are you hug?" You glared back at him, nodding to the portal that you were curious about, silently telling him to explain himself. "I wanted to see you again, so I thought I should light it."

"Light it? Are you saying you were the one to destroy that portal in the first pla-"

[SLAM]

You stiffened in your spot, back pressing against the wall as you feel Clay's staggered breaths fan over your face. "You know... You should be grateful I came all the way here just to see you, on top of that with an.." He stumbled forward, body leaning over yours as he continued to breathe heavily.

"Hey, are you oka- CLAY YOU'RE BLEEDING-"

"It's fine." The man breathed out, lips dangerously close to your neck. "What do you mean it's fine?! Let me heal you with potions are you insane?!"

"Just.." His voice softened, body slowly getting smaller and smaller. "Let me rest.."

[POOF]

'Huh' You stood there confused, a gust of wind blowing in your direction. He was gone, and what was left was a white blob that happily pressed its cheeks against your neck. "What the- FU-"

<- ->

ec: @quacobs (instagram)

[ghostly-writers]

My favourite patient

SMASH!. The terracotta pot shatters across the floor, spreading red shards mixed with soil and bits of roots across the stone floor. Nicky looked at it shaken slightly. He turned to the stairs. The basement was normally quite dark and he wasn't watching where he was going so he didn't see the rake that was in his path. “NICKY ARE YOU OK?!” He heard his dad call from up the stairs. Nicky replied with a “YEAH!” He sighed ‘you should have turned the lights on’ but oh well it was too late for that. Nicky picked up the broom from the corner and began to sweep the mess up.

“That was such a pretty rose…Diane would have liked it” Diane was Nicky's coworker who was always making sure he was ok after his mother died a few years ago. Jay, his dad was grief stricken but decided to keep the flower shop to keep her memory alive. “Well done ya clutz” he heard Diane II say from behind him. “Shut up” he said he hadn't been concentrating lately because of the lightheadedness and dizziness he had been experiencing. “This is probably your fault” he said bitterly DianaeII let out a husky laugh low and predatory “why would you think that?” He asked Nicky sighed. “Probably because of all the blood loss” he spat out.

Diane II seemed to roll its non-existent eyes and laugh again “you could always feed me something else~” it purred. Nicky stiffened before turning around on his heels and fixing the alien plant with an angry look. “Don't. Even. Think. About. It.” He said. He knew the plant wanted human flesh but Nicky couldn’t bring himself to kill he wasn't a murderer. He finished sweeping up the pot pieces and dumped them in the trash slowly ascending the stairs. He stopped and turned to the plant “If you keep quiet and don't cause any trouble I’ll pick you up some steak from the butchers”. The plant seemed to ponder over the offer before slowly nodding “yeah! I’ll be as quiet as a mouse!” Nicky rolled his eyes “yeah yeah just be quiet”. He slowly walked up the stairs before entering the main shop.

“Hey Nicky,” Diane said cheerfully behind him Nicky turned around and smiled warmly at her “hey Diane!” he said she placed the pot she was holding onto the counter and put her hands on her hips. “I heard the pot smash, are you ok?” Nicky nodded quickly, hiding his hands behind his back; he didn't want her getting worried. “Y...yeah! I'm fine!” he said quickly. Diane nodded slowly, eyeing him suspiciously. She picked up the plant walking over to the shelves and arranged it nicely, smiling sweetly at it. Nicky felt a sharp pain go through his teeth “oww” he whimpered rubbing his sore jaw.

“Is your tooth still hurting?” She asked Nicky nodded slowly still holding his irritated mouth. He had been having tooth and gum problems for a while now but he didnt know why. He didn't eat anything sugary and always brushed his teeth so he didn know where this sudden irritation and pain from his gums and teeth had come from. Nicky sighed and opened the cash register, his eyes furrowing at the lack of profit there was. He knew business was slow after his mum but it was getting worse now. He walked over to the front door turning the open sign to close. His dad said when business was especially slow they should just close up early. 

DING! The doorbell tingled, making Nicky's hopes leap for a few seconds thinking they may have a customer who would buy a dozen roses or something like that! “Hello” a deep voice came from the man who was now standing inches away from the counter “Is Diane here?” They asked Nicky if he was dressed in a black leather jacket, boots,pants and a white almost lab coat. 

Nicky swallowed thickly. He didn't trust this guy, he seemed off a bit too friendly in a way “I..I don't think she is here” he stuttered out his hat falling over his face slightly the man's neck snapped up. “What?” he asked, Nicky swallowed again his voice came out even more cracked and wobbly as before “I don't think she is here” he said. The man stepped forward and leaned in close; he smelled of toothpaste “who are you?” he asked Nicky awkwardly smiled and stuck out his hand to shake “I…I’m Nicky Roth my dad owns this shop” The man grasped his hand firmly shaking it “I’m Theodore Peterson” he said Nicky nodded slowly pulling his collar nervously he hoped Diane came back soon this guy was giving him the creeps. “Teddy!” Nicky turned around to see Diane beaming at the man before rushing over and giving him a hug.

“Hey honey” he replied hugging her tightly Nicky could see him eyeing him through the crook of her arm, he gave a little awkward wave Diane pulled  away from the hug and turned to Nicky “this is Ted my boyfriend he's a dentist” Nicky shivered at the thought he never liked the dentist even when he was a child and did his best to avoid it. “Ted this is Nicky my friend” Ted slowly nodded “yeah I introduced myself to him”. Nicky nodded quickly “yeah we already met” Diane laughed “I hope you two get along” Ted smiled and nodded “yes…ready to go?” Diane nodded “oh and before I forget!” she motioned to Nicky “he won't go to the dentist and he has a toothache so can you maybe squeeze him into your schedule?” Nicky felt his blood go cold. Ted grinned but not normally he grinned wide and sadistic “of course!” He looked at Nicky still grinning “come by my office tomorrow at 9:00 and I’ll pull the little bastard out!” And with that they left, leaving Nicky wanting to curl up on the floor and die.

DIANE WHY?!

-the next day-

Nicky gulped as he waited in the dentist office in a leather chair. The office was quiet except for a few squirming and sniffling children who tried to convince their mum they didn't want to go to the dentist and Nicky didn't blame them; he was 20 and didn't trust the dentist. He saw people go in and out of the office holding their jaws and whimpering or crying and running out in distress. The emptier the office became the more Nicky started to stress out. He felt heart rate pick up when the last person came crying out of the office. “next!” Nicky heard the cry for the next patient he slowly stood up his legs suddenly feeling like jelly and entered the office awaiting his doom.

The office smelled like anaesthetics and…blood Nicky felt himself gag. He saw the tools all lined up if you could even call them that. If anything they looked like 50th century torture devices he saw Ted with his back turned to him humming while cleaning something “you beauty” he whispered under his breath Nicky took a step forward realiing what he was holding was a human tooth he gaged again what alerts Theodore who snapped his head in his direction like something out of a horror movie. “Nicholas!” he said cherrily…to cherrily Nicky nodded “have a seat” Ted said Nicky obeyed sitting in the seat like some sort of dog. 

“Now” Theodore stated, pulling up a chair and sitting by Nicky looming over him like a wolf cornering a rabbit “what's been wrong with your teeth?” Nicky shivered and smiled trying to think of an answer “I’ve just been sore” he desperately looked at the door “but you know what it has stopped hurting so I think I’ll be leaving!” He tried to sit up but was pushed down with a leather gloved hand and held firmly in place fingers digging into his chest. “Nonsense! If we leave it any longer it could decay further” Nicky didn't reply. He tried to get the hand of his chest but it was firmly in place and not going anywhere.

“I think you need to relax” Ted said a wide grin spread across his face he let go of Nickys chest and walked over to his tool rack smiling sadistically “here we are” he stated picking up a particular nasty tool “this will do nicely” it had sharp spikes coming out of every angle Nicky couldn't take it anymore he let out a wild scream and shot out of the chair running down the hallway panicked he heard Ted running after him “STOP HIM!” He screamed, Nicky took a sharp left and ran…straight into another doctor who looked at him confused. Nicky wanted to say something but he felt a hand press his shoulder “Sorry doctor this is my patient” He squeezed Nicky's shoulder tighter making him whimper “he's being a little flighty”. The doctor nodded and watched as Nicky was dragged back to the office.

Nicky struggled against the bonds tying him down; the thick leather straps kept him in place so he couldn't escape again; there were two pieces of cotton wool in his mouth that acted like a gag. He didn't know where the sadist had gone but he hoped he wasn't coming back. He should never have trusted him! The medical degrees on the wall were meant to give the illusion of trust but it didn't work on Nicky. He wanted this man's medical licence taken away now! 

Nicky knew he was trouble and he was right! He sighed and leaned back Theodores 'toys’ as he liked the call. They were all lined up in a neat row shining in the fake light “I’m back!” He heard Ted say as he walked back in the office closing the door behind him with a firm CLICK Nicky didn't look at him he felt the chair suddenly tip back he yelped and was suddenly lying flat “there we are…comfy?” Theodore asked Nicky to growl at him. “No” he wanted to say but resisted not wanting to piss the doctor off further than needed “now” Ted said picking up his first tool “let's have a look at those pretty teeth”.

-slight teeth pulling so please be careful-

Nicky saw the tool come near his mouth and he kept it firmly closed Theodore rolled his eyes “open.” The command was simple and firm but Nicky didn't dare open his mouth Ted looked at him angry almost “open. Your. Mouth” Nicky didn't he shook his head Theodore grabbed his jaw squeezing it until Nicky was forced to open. Ted pushed his thumb onto his tongue and tugged his jaw open further He pushed the tool in much to Nicky's discomfort. The cold metal made him shiver as it scraped against his teeth. He cringed, it was like this demon dentist was trying to draw out this appointment as much as possible- JAB Nicky froze,the tool had gotten beneath his sore tooth “owe!” he yelped but  it came out muffled. 

He was smiling. The bastard was smiling! He was enjoying Nicky's pain. Another sharp jolt of pain made Nicky whine again the tool was underneath it now “does that hurt?” Theodore asked with mock sympathy Nicky felt tears well in his eyes “YES!” He wanted to scream but couldn't. Blood was filling his mouth making him want to vomit the taste of Iron was everywhere. “Eughh” was all he could say as the tool twisted his tooth he was sweating now and gripping the chair thick tears streaming down his face “it's almost out” Theodore said.

CRACK!

Nicky let out a scream he felt the tooth shatter which made more tears spill down his cheeks he didn't care that the pieces were being picked out all he cared about was the pain he was now feeling. He kept crying and crying. The chair was slowly raised and he was untied. Theodore removed his gloves and leant back holding a black shard of tooth between his thumb and forefinger “there we are” he smirked “all better?” He was covered in blood, Nickys blood.

 Nicky didn't say anything, he kept crying as Theodore motioned to the sink beside him “rinse and spit '' he said after removing the cotton,Nicky did as he was told watching the pink water wash away. “C…can I go now?” He asked. Nicky now just wanted to go home and get some ice Theodore held up his hand “wait” he said, placing down the bit of tooth on the counter almost lovingly before picking something up and hiding it behind his back.

He leaned close to Nicky who leaned away like a scared child. “Here” Ted said, sticking something to his shirt, Nicky looked down and saw it was a sticker! It was a cartoon tooth that was brushing itself with the bright text saying “I went to the dentist!” Nicky looked at him confused “what-” he wanted to ask but didn't get the chance to as something was shoved in his mouth making him gag. He grabbed a hold of the stick and said “this is a lollipop”. The taste of sour apple filled his mouth. Theodore patted his head like he was a kid “it's for my favourite patient” Nicky didn't say anything  he slowly stood up and left the office “b..bye” he said exiting the building slowly walking home with his lollipop still in hand.He hated the dentist.

And he still needed to go to the butchers.

[oatmilkovich]

loved reading all your acting thoughts! there's been some talk in fandom lately about how gallavich kisses have changed over the course of the last 2 seasons and seem a bit awkward and perfunctory at times even vs. earlier seasons where they seemed much more 'natural' for lack of a better word. wondered if you had also observed this and had thoughts on this from an acting perspective. it sounds like the show got an intimacy coordinator recently and part of me wonders if that led to the change since noel and cam clearly didnt have issues throwing themselves into those scenes previously. i'm also still trying to wrap my head around the hos bloopers kiss and how that would have fit in (scripted or improv) but that's probably a whole other can of worms. they clearly seem very comfortable with each other after having worked together for so long, which is wonderful! anyway, just love hearing you talk about acting and cam and noel :)

hey!

thanks for the question, it’s a super interesting one. so i discussed this quite a bit with @xgoldendays – because we discuss everything. so michelle feel free to add your take if you want to! <3 

i’ve seen this conversation happen a lot on my various timelines in the last few days and honestly, kisses are kisses to me – idk maybe it’s because i’ve been watching the show for years and lived off the club kiss for an entire season, but the shift between kisses old vs new hasn’t really been significant enough to bother me. anyhow here’s my actor-y thoughts... 

firstly, an intimacy coordinator isn’t going to be like ‘don’t shove your tongue down each other’s throat’ – an intimacy coordinator is there to make sure no one is being exploited or taken advantage of during intimate scenes. it’s very unlikely that their introduction in the crew had very little impact on the way cam and noel kiss each other in the scenes. what is more likely to have impacted the way that they kiss is the writing. 

the club kiss, border kiss, docks kiss etc... are all born from moments that are very heightened. the stakes are HIGH, mickey and ian have things to say and things to lose with those kisses. noel and cam have a lot more to work with and sink their teeth into. we know as a fact that they improv-ed a lot of the docks scene – this naturally leads to more reactive and real responses. even in scenes where they’re not improv-ing, eg: the club kiss, the situation they’re in is so significant for both characters, so fuelled by the drama, that of course it’ll result in a passionate kiss. those moments are so much easier to ground yourself in as an actor. it’s okay for a silly horny kiss in an ambulance to be less. it’s okay for the good morning mr gallavich kitchen kiss to be less. those scenes are less. i understand why people would compare them, but it’s a little silly to me cause ian and mickey are in completely different places now. cam and noel are going to be interacting with those scenes differently now. 

i go on about it quite a bit, but there’s no stakes in the writing anymore. they’re married now, they’re not leaving each other at the mexico border worried they won’t see each other ever again, it’s okay for a kiss to be boring or less than the ones that have come before it because the show is different now. ian and mickey are different people than they were. cam and noel will have a different experience filming those scenes – they’re not going to be filled with as much passion or drama. in the grand scheme of the dramatic story of ian and mickey, their scenes now are boring – and that’s okay! and for cam and noel they’re gonna be less exciting and interesting to film! their acting is still very much rooted in truth, but given the lack of stakes and significance of those kisses, things are gonna be different! it’s completely understandable to me that they seem different. they’re still clearly very comfortable with each other (you can tell that by the hos kiss) but, imo, it’s simply that the scenes have less behind them, therefore their kisses have less behind them. like, i’m sure if the show actually allowed a truly pivotal moment for them again (take the proposal kiss for example, we know there was a lot cut in the editing room and that was a moment in the last few seasons WITH higher stakes) things may be different. 

in regards to the hos kiss – it’s up for your interpretation but i like thinking about it as just a silly extra gallavich kiss, rather than a moment of improv tacked onto the end of that episode. don’t think too hard about fitting it into the canon storyline, just let yourself enjoy it for what it was! <3 

thanks for the question, it was a great one to ponder because i have actually been thinking about it a little. 

<3

[sso-ironfire]

SSO Alonso X Reader/MC

I made a little story to share :) I hope people enjoy it. It is actually based on me being extremely frustrated while trying to find all of Catherine’s memories in Mistfall. I used they/them pronouns for your horse just bc idk what you all like imagine (ik in game your starter/soul horse is “supposed” to be male). I did female pronouns for the MC to sort of fit the SSO story line

Alonso raced to the site of the incident. The rain slicked the trails. He made sure to keep extra care in the path he chose as he guided Mardy to the emergency. It was hard to see. The pouring rain and wind blinded him as he picked up speed. His ranger uniform was soaked in the short time he had been outside. But he pressed on. This is what he was trained for, why he joined the Jorvik Rangers. It thrilled him each time he raced to an emergency. What he saw on his arrival to the scene was not what he expected. Two rangers desperately held onto a crying horse as it bucked, trying to escaped their ropes. He could instantly recognize the horse. It was her horse. (Mc)'s horse. Two more rangers were preparing climbing gear at the base of the cliff. He looked up. (MC) was barely hanging onto a dirt ledge that was crumbling fast under the intense rain and added weight.

"(MC)!" He yelled out over the roar of the storm. She looked toward him with fearful eyes, before turning quickly attempting to climb further up the cliff. The rangers began to panic, shouting at her not to move. The ledge below her began to crumble more.

Alonso jumped off Mardy and ran to the aide of the climbing team.

"No! No, please! I need to get the butterfly!" She pleaded as she furiously tried to scramble to the top.

There was no butterfly. What was she talking about?

"Hang in there!" Alonso called, hoping her panic was the cause of this delusion.

The platform below her gave way, sliding along as rock, roots, and mud tumbled to the ground below. She let out a shriek as her body was taken over by gravity. Alonso had just gotten off the ground, able to angle himself just enough to catch her. He clutched her to his chest turning his back to the cliff-face, shielding both of them from an onslaught of rocks and mud that came falling with her. She was shaking. Her entire body violently quaking. He looked back up to the top of the cliff. She was dreadfully close to a serious injury and, if she fell the wrong way, possibly death.  It was good the Rangers were able to get to her so quickly. Alonso dreaded the thought of what might happen if they were even a minute late.

(MC) still shook as he was brought down. She clutched onto his uniform with white knuckles, barely able to catch her breath. (Horse) had calmed down once they saw that their rider was being brought down safely but still tried to break free from the grips of the other rangers.

"Let them go! They just wants to know she's alright." He told them once he had safely returned to the ground. They let go of the frantic horse. Once they were near enough to smell their rider it seemed to calm them down. They were happy (MC) was safe. Alonso reached out to gentle pat them on the nose.

"Don't worry. We're gonna take good care of her."

It was only a few hours later when (MC) had woken up from her exhaustion induced sleep. There was only one thing on Alonso's mind as he tended to her: what on earth was so important that she would risk her life? A butterfly, she said something about a butterfly. Should he bring it up? Would it cause her to go into a panic again?

"Mmm.. hnng..." She stirred lightly. Alonso looked over towards her, preparing a bowl of warm chicken noodle soup. He had never noticed her eyes before, but they seemingly were enhanced by the light of the fire. It was a strange thought that popped into his mind. Surely, the condition of the cuts on her knees and arms would be more important. The observation of the color of her eyes even caused his face to flush, he felt his ears and cheeks warm.

"W-where am I?" She spoke with a very strained voice.

"We're at the Jorvik Rangers Station in Mistfall. I thought it would be a nice place to recover."

"Recover?" She looked around rather frantically.

"Well...yes. You appear to be very sleep deprived,  I have not been able to tell if you've attained any severe injuries, and you might have caught a cold out in the rain like that. Plus, Lionheart's foot is pretty badly sprained. We had the vet from Dundull come and look at him. He needs a few days of rest." She looked down, but he saw the glossiness in her eyes. She clearly felt guilty. The situation rendering her horse injured and herself under observed recovery.

"This is all my fault. I'm sorry." She whispered, her voice cracking as she began to sob into the blanket held tightly in her hands. Normally, he was good at comforting people. Trail riders and rangers complemented him on his calming demeanor that helped them through scary situations. But why couldn't he comfort her the same way. He wanted to say something, but he just couldn't think of what. Instead he interrupted her crying with the bowl of soup and sat at the end of the bed. She ate it quietly, hiccupping every now and then as she tried to calm down.

"Why were you out in a storm like that?" He watched her closely, waiting for her answer. He probably shouldn't have asked but he could tell there was something more to the situation.

"Umm...well...It's hard to explain." She muttered.

"You said something about a butterfly." Her face dropped as he said that.

"I-I did?" He nodded at her.

"Yes. I'm sorry if I seem rude. I just wanted to try to understand. You had me- us- very worried." She bit her lip, thinking.

"It's complicated..." She muttered, taking another spoonful of soup. Alonso didn't have a response to that. He didn't really know what to say. As Alonso pondered what he should say to comfort the poor girl, she spoke up and surprised him.

"I really appreciate you saving me," She glanced up at him with those eyes. His face flushed under her gaze. "I should clarify. It is complicated. It is something very important to understanding my role in this world, but it isn't something I can openly share with others. I'm thankful that you were there for me when I, quite literally, fell."

Alonso swallowed the lump in his throat. The concerns she seemed to be facing appeared to be stress beyond her years. Alonso found himself wanting to help her with that burden.

"I can tell that whatever is going on is very important to you. It is healthy to share that weight. But if you just need someone to catch you, I'd be happy to do that for you." Alonso gave her the best smile he could, his cheeks still burning from her compliment.

She managed a small but genuine smile in return.

[rebsrams]

Book: Open Heart

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Valentine)

Warnings: none. Pure fluff. Be prepare to melt. Also, I'm not a native speaker, please forgive any mistake.

Summary: Just what we were waiting for after the Book 2 finale. I mean, still not defining? Oh, Ethan..

Word count: 1,463

@openheartfanfics

A CASE OF YOU (ETHAN RAMSEY X F!MC)

Song: A case of you by her majesty Joni Mitchell

Just before our love got lost you said

"I am as constant as a northern star"

And I said

"Constantly in the darkness, where's that at? If you want me I'll be in the bar"

Ever since they laid eyes on each other, it was immediately clear that in the wretched mess that was Edenbrook hospital and life as a doctor, they would be each other's northern star.

A fixed point in the galaxy.

During certain difficult times, they were even brought to think they were meant to be star-crossed lovers, reminiscing images of canisters, protective suits and plexiglass windows.

Such a romantic view for a life they chose to live, knowing that difficulties and loss were meant to be daily bread.

"...how much I care about you".

The words resonated in her head from time to time, after the accident.

She actually spent the following three days tossing and turning in bed, at night and in the early morning, long before her alarm was going to go off.

She couldn't stop thinking about the patina that the plastic shield screened his tantalizing blue eyes with, which made the confession so difficult to figure out.

Was he caring about her like a friend? A colleague? Something more?

Even after all the moments they shared together, he never got to say what his feelings towards her really were. And so didn't she.

But the affection that exuded from his words was something that could have lighten up the whole room.

Then, just as it is, months passed between a charity gala and difficult cases.

Hands touched, lips met publicly and elegant dresses fell to the ground without second thoughts.

Then, it happened.

She couldn't stand it any longer.

Ethan kissed her in front of the whole hospital more than once, and still he couldn't define what kind of relationship he wanted to have with her.

Soon, she came to realize that it was not about the hospital staff or about jeopardizing anything, it was just about him.

He was absolutely and totally frightened.

To deal with all the demons he tried to drown under a thick layer of resentment and cold indifference over the years.

To push her away, again.

To lose her, once and for all.

Maybe he deserved it, he happened to think.

Well, maybe that's an understatement.

It was actually all that he could think about, completely unaware of the fact that he was hurting her so much more by making love to her and letting her go the morning after, unsure of what his next move will be, leaving her on the ropes.

That night she came into his office from a sixteen hour shift, exhausted.

"To hell with formality", she muttered to herself before entering the room.

"What do you want, Ethan?"

"Good evening to you, Dr. Valentine.

I was wondering if you could check on this test results for a brief... What's the matter?"

He looked up at the doorstep, where she stood arm-crossed with a fallen expression on her face and her thick and curly hair completely disheveled.

"For a brief what, Ethan? Why did you paged me here, at the end of an endless shift? Just to let me praise you and your excellent job? Well, bravo. You already know I have nothing to tell you about it. Now, if you'll excuse me."

She turned to face the door again, letting her words sink in the older doctor behind her.

He, for his part, tried to ignore the sting of pain her words caused in him.

"Rebecca, wait. Please. I just wanted to check on you, to know that you're well. You have to admit you've been quite elusive in these past few weeks. It's not like you."

He saw her stiffen at once and her fists close, making her knuckles become white in the stressful grip.

"It's not like me..." she barely whispered, filling the words with suppressed rage.

"YOU THINK IT'S NOT LIKE ME? WHAT ELSE SHOULD I DO, THEN? ETHAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, YOU'RE THE MOST BRILLIANT DOCTOR OF YOUR GENERATION!"

The sudden explosion made him gape to say the least.

She continued to stood there, her curly locks all over her face but not enough to cover her eyes, sparkling with still unspilled tears.

"What are you talking about? Rebs, you know that I'm here. Always. Whatever you need, just talk to me and I'll listen."

His brows forrowed in concern under the squared frame of his glasses; seeing her standing there, on the verge of a breakdown, made his heart clench.

"Oh, of course. You're here. Always." she said, imitating him on the last part.

"Don't you really know what's wrong with me, Ethan?" she continued, her voice barely a whisper.

"It's always like standing in the darkness with you. You can never know what to expect or where to turn. Maybe because you're the one who doesn't know where to turn or what to do with your life.

Just take a dammit road and follow it, for God's sake!" her tone began to rise again, and seeing such a sparkle of wild fire in her eyes made Ethan almost sigh with relief, even if he knew he was the only target of that fire.

Suddenly everything fell into place for him.

He played dumb for all this time, trying to ignore the fact that her personality wouldn't admit his going back and forth much longer.

In that very moment, he really was standing at a crossroad.

And, just like she said, he had to take a road and follow it, for her.

"I would... You know, I... I'd understand if you chose to, well... To back off.

I'm not simple. Like, at all." she let out a nervous giggle, caused by the tension of the moment.

"The situation itself isn't simple at all, and we always knew that. I'm just asking you to get your head together. If not for me, do it for yourself. Please."

Her kindness. Her incredible and absolutely selfless kindness. That's one of the things that made her the brilliant doctor that she was and that he loved the most.

Yes, because he knew that. He loved her.

Deep to his very core. She put down roots in him since the very first day, where she almost screwed everything up during that torachotomy and blood spilled all over her coat.

If there was a thing she didn't deserve, was being treated that way, much less from him.

Given all that, he still couldn't find the breath to emit any sound.

He just stood there, eyes locked with hers, a painful expression on both faces.

"I see. Well, I think I'm done here. I'll see you tomorrow for the test results.

Oh, and by the way... You can find me at Donahue's, if you need to tell me... Anything else."

She knew he understood everything, and despite of it all she was giving him his last chance to make it right.

She close the door behind her, careful not to slam it and let her emotions take control over her.

She quickly wiped the tears that eventually fell, unable to catch the ones already fallen on her coat.

Before she could even notice, she was running out of the building.

Ethan was still there, wiping both hands on his face and under his glasses, trying to examine his own thoughts and intentions.

"Do you want her, you scumbag? Well, of course you do. Then go get her! What the fuck are you waiting for?"

He thought, almost muttering, to himself. Such a colorful language was only used in his thoughts, most of the time referring to himself with some exceptions here and there, referring to the guys flirting with Rebecca. His Rebecca.

Coming to this conclusion was enough to make him stand on his feet, grab his navy long coat and begin to run out of the hospital, forgetting about changing in the locker room or even close the door of his office.

The air was particularly chilly and pricked Ethan's nose, the sensation enhanced by his fast pace.

The door of Donahue's was just a few feet away and his heartbeat began to increase more and more with each step.

He was a grown man, almost entering his 38th year of life.

More than that, he was a doctor, dealing with life and death matters every single day of his existence.

And yet, the very awareness of her presence inside that bar, ready to throw her arms around his neck and be taken home to his apartment, if only he had the guts of pouring his heart out to her, made his heart ponder wildly in his chest.

Pressing lightly on the handle, he stepped in.

Hope you like it. Part 2 will be here soon 💋

Also, I'm a newbie and I'd like to gather a taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join it!

[hazel-writes]

Summary: You begin your first official day of work and meet your new coworkers, who turn out to be full of surprises.

Word Count: 2,300

Notes: This chapter is a bit slow, but I'm excited to introduce you to some new characters! If you want to see Picrew face-claims for these characters, look here. Otherwise, imagine them to look however you want!

Warnings: brief mentions of violence

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

I'm trying hard to hide

Keep the sun out of my eyes

Close them tight

And now I'm waiting for the moon to rise

Belle and Sebastian ~ Waiting for the Moon

You walked through the door, nervously wringing your hands, despite your best efforts not to. Your eyes scanned the room, eventually landing on a large, grey reception desk. Sitting behind the desk was none other than Ms. Stoney, the uptight woman who had “welcomed” you onto the ship the day before.

You took a deep breath before walking over to her, waiting patiently for her to look up and address you — but she didn’t. You tried subtly clearing your throat, shifting your feet from side to side, and moving into her line of sight, but nothing seemed to grab her attention. Eventually you forced out a meek, “Hi, there!” to which she responded with an annoyed glance in your direction.

“Oh, it’s you again,” she grumbled with a mix of tiredness and disappointment.

“Uh, yeah, it is,” you smiled back, which you could tell bothered her. “I’m looking for the artist workspace? I know it’s somewhere within this department, but I wasn’t sure where exactly…”

“Artist?” she questioned, eyebrow raised.

“Yeah! Ya know, an individual who… does art?” Your attempt at an explanation was met by silence. “Umm… they’re usually covered in some sort of paint or clay, might dress a little funny, are often a little angsty, possibly tormented by some aspect of their past?” More silence. You give a strained smile; you really shouldn’t keep trying to talk over awkward silences. “Not ringing a bell, huh?”

Through clenched teeth she replied,“I believe the people you are looking for are through those doors on the left.”

She said the word people like it left a bad taste in her mouth. She obviously didn’t think too kindly of them.

“Great, thanks,” you replied, heading to the door she indicated.

You opened it, and to your surprise you saw no canvases, paint splatters, tin cans, or haphazard brushes littering the room. The walls and floors were a spotless white. A large, circular table was positioned in the center of the room, surrounded by sleek modern chairs and data pads on tripods. This didn’t look like your dad’s studio back home; a place where the remnants of unfinished projects were put on display for everyone to see and learn from. Here, you could already tell: making mistakes wasn’t an option. There was no room for error.

You returned your attention to what was in front of you, only to have three pairs of eyes meet yours.

The first pair belonged to a girl of medium height. She had long, slightly frazzled, blonde hair and piercing blue eyes that contrasted her pale skin. She jumped when you walked in, her face immediately lighting up when she saw you. The second pair belonged to a taller girl. She had warm, chestnut eyes that complemented her dark, sepia skin. Her hair framed her face in a fan of tight curls. She seemed to examine you carefully, squinting slightly, before turning back to her work. The final pair belonged to a boy of medium height. He had shaggy light brown hair and a tanned, terracotta complexion. He looked at you with curious hazel eyes, smirking ever so slightly.

The three of them looked to be about your age, somewhere in their 20's.

The blonde-haired girl ran over to you, pulling you away from your observations. “You must be the new girl!” she exclaimed. “I’m Rilea, your new best friend.”

You were taken aback by her enthusiastic and cheerful attitude; it wasn’t something you encountered very often on the Finalizer. You laughed nervously. “Oh, uhh… cool?”

The boy with the disheveled hair spoke up from the back of the room. “Don’t mind her, she has a new best friend each week.” He smirked at Rilea and she threw a box of tissues at him playfully.

“While that may be true,” she continued, turning to face you, “I can tell that you are going to be my favorite best friend.”

“That’s literally what you say to every single new person you meet,” the boy piped up again.

“For star's sake, Takoda, why do you have to be such a mudcrutch?!” Rilea shouted at him, frustrated.

You continued to observe in silence, still adjusting to the rapid shift of atmosphere in this room compared to the rest of the Finalizer.

You moved to go sit, finding an open seat next to the quiet, curly-haired girl. You gave her a small smile when you sat down, and she returned the favor, scooting her chair over to give you more room. Rilea, and the boy whose name apparently was Takoda, continued to argue like a couple of four year olds.

“Are they always like this?” you asked the girl seated next to you.

“Yup, pretty much,” she replied. “That is, of course, in between the times when they aren’t getting any work done… and the times when they still aren’t getting any work done.”

You laughed. “Well, at least one person here seems to have a level-head.”

“Make that two,” she said, giving you a smile. “My name is Akilah. What’s yours?”

You told her your full name before giving her your nickname, Wren, as well.

“Wren…” she pondered. “Not as in Kylo Ren, right?”

“No, no, no, stars, no,” you emphasized. “It’s the name of a- ” You paused, reconsidering. “I actually don’t know where it comes from, my friends just started calling me by it one day...”

Akilah stared at you intently for a few moments before Takoda shouted over at the two of you.

“Hey, you two aren’t gossiping about us now, are ya?”

You sighed, “Nope, just getting to know Akilah here.”

Rilea poked her head out from behind Takoda, “She's my best friend too!”

You mentally face-palmed and turned to fully face the group.

“So, this is the artist workspace?” you questioned, skeptically.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, I wouldn’t go that far as to say we are artists,” said Takoda.

You were confused. “But I thought-”

“You thought wrong. Here, you just follow the rules and instructions laid out for you. We are given colors, words, and images, and it’s simply our job to assemble it all into a neat poster or flyer for distribution.”

“Oh…” you replied, disappointed.

“I’m not even an artist,” he continued. “They just stuck me here after I was medically discharged from the trooper program. For the most part, everyone in this sector just got placed here because there was nothing else they could do”

“So why did they bother hiring me then?” you questioned. “If I’m gonna be honest, I’m used to a little more creative freedom back home. They could’ve chosen anyone for this job.”

“I don’t know,” Takoda replied. “Maybe they want their propaganda to look good for a change.” He smirked.

“Where did you say you were from again, bestie?” Rilea asked.

“Oh, I didn’t,” you replied. “I’m from Lothal.”

Immediately, each member of the team looked at each other, worried.

“Lothal…” Rilea repeated. “That’s one of the Order's targeted planets right now. I have a feeling that pretty soon we'll be distributing posters there. Maybe Hux thinks you can help reason with the people there?”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Akilah added. “First Order propaganda would be a lot easier to accept coming from a fellow citizen.”

You pondered their words. What they were saying was probably true: you were simply a tool to be used by the First Order. They didn’t care about your talent or passion; they just needed your image.

“Well, I don't know how helpful I'd be on that front,” you sighed, pausing. “So what is the project you are working on now?”

“We’ll know soon enough,” said Takoda. “Our fourth member should be returning soon with our new assignment.”

“Fourth member?” you questioned.

At that moment, the door swung open with a dramatic bang, revealing a tall, lanky boy with jet black hair and evergreen eyes. He was pale with light freckles speckling his face and arms. His eyes narrowed when they met yours, scrutinizing your presence.

“Look, here he is, ‘fun-sized Kylo’ himself,” Takoda quipped.

Rilea leaned towards you. “He claims that he adopted the whole ‘tormented soul, dramatic hair’ look before Ren even thought of it,” she snickered.

You were confused, but luckily Akilah came to your rescue.

“This is Soren,” she explained. “Our fourth member… Well, fifth, now.”

“Oh!” you replied, stretching out your hand for him to shake. “It’s nice to meet you I’m -”

“Irrelevant,” he interrupted bluntly, briskly brushing past you to sit at the back of the room.

You stood there, hand still outstretched, looking to the others for guidance.

Takoda spoke first, turning to face Soren. “Hey, laser brain, why don’t ya try being a little nicer to our newest member.”

“This is our newest member?” he responded, disapprovingly. “She doesn’t look like the First Order’s finest.”

“That’s because I’m not,” you interjected, defensive. “I’m from Lothal originally. Today is technically my first day with the Order.”

At the mention of your home planet, Soren visibly tensed, his fingers curling into tight fists. The other three looked nervously at each other; they knew something you didn’t.

Akilah, again, interrupted the tense silence. “We should probably get to work… What’s the new assignment Sor?”

Hearing her voice, he seemed to relax a little, pulling out a few papers with various sketches and color swatches.

“They want us to design posters directed at the people of Dantooine. The First Order is currently working to establish a blockade on the planet. It is our job to convince the natives to submit, while also showing them that they have the ability to contribute their own assets to our cause.”

You frowned, unsure of a few posters' ability to do such a thing. You were familiar with Dantooine; its history was deeply rooted in rebel allegiance. You doubted that a few pieces of paper could somehow shift the ingrained attitudes of thousands of people. But then again, you were an artist. And as an artist, it was your job to put blind faith into your work, simply hoping that others could see what you saw in it.

“How successful has this First Order propaganda been in the past?” you asked, genuinely curious.

Takoda laughed. “Not very. Usually, it just makes the citizens more angry. But that kind of works in favor of the Order: as soon as the rebels and their sympathizers become violent, whatever happens to them at the hands of the Order is then justified, so to speak.”

“What would happen if we tried to mix things up a bit? Like attempting a different style, color scheme, or whatever it may be, to make the posters more effective?” you suggested.

Suddenly serious, Takoda spoke. “No. We don’t do anything without the Order’s permission. Never. That’s our number one rule. We can mess around and make jokes all we want in here, but whatever finished product leaves this room has to be exactly what was requested of us.”

Something in Takoda’s voice made it seem like there was history behind this rule — history that didn't conclude with a happy ending. Looking around the room, you knew you were right. Everyone, except for Soren, was avoiding your gaze, choosing to stare at their shoes or the floor. Soren continued to bore into you with a death-glare, but your instincts told you he was like this with everyone and not to take it too personally.

“Yeah, I get it,” you responded. Soren looked at you sceptically. “Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. I’m on my last warning with General Hux — another mistake will pretty much guarantee my head a new home in the trash compactor.”

“Speaking of Hux, we are to report to him tomorrow with drafts,” Soren finally spoke up.

“Tomorrow?!” Rilea exclaimed.

“Yup,” Soren replied, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Of course he would pull something like this, giving us less than 24 hours notice...” Rilea muttered, irritated.

“Stars, I swear that man is 90% petulant child, 7% attempted scariness, and 3% toupee,” you responded.

This earned a chuckle from the group. Even Soren managed a smirk.

“Yeah, well, sadly, that petulant child has a big red button sitting under his bony finger that can destroy entire planets in the blink of an eye,” said Akilah, quietly. “So, we should probably get to work.”

“She’s right,” you say, desperate to end any talk of Hux. “Let’s start.”

And with that, the five of you began work on what was your first official project on the Finalizer. Akilah showed you how to accurately read the diagrams that the Order had provided. Rilea and Takoda attempted to work for a few minutes before devolving into yet another tissue paper fight. Soren sat quietly in the corner, working on the new project, glancing up every now and then at you and Akilah.

Despite the hectic menagerie of personalities that surrounded you, you were glad that you weren't stuck working with cold, robotic First Order employees like Ms. Stoney. You desperately wanted to ask your new friends about their backstories and how they came to be “artists” on the Finalizer, but Takoda and Rilea were busy stuffing tissues in each other’s ears, and Akilah and Soren seemed like the ‘work in silence’ types. You decided to settle with your own thoughts for now; it wasn’t as if you were lacking them.

It occurred to you that tomorrow you would have to face Hux again, the memory of what he sneered at you in the hallway this morning still fresh in your mind: Strike two.

You didn’t know what strike three would involve, but you definitely didn’t want to find out.

Unfortunately, you didn't get that lucky.

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