#i'm still figuring out a lot for it storywise

[imclou]

may i present to you the Arcane AU, featuring Enforcer DCA and Firelight Y/N

[twstfanblog]

You know, the more I think about, the less surprising it is that "7-8 students overbloted" and more "How has NRC gone decades without an overblot?"

From my understanding, blot is a measure of magic mixing emotional pressure. And overbloting is basically bottled-up emotions finally exploding, yes? Between: - NRC is a prestigious magical academy, therefore drawing lots of magical talent - the students having such big egos it's pulling teeth to get them to willingly together - various past/present traumas, pressures, stress, etc - NRC is a boarding school, so this likely the first time most students have lived away from home How is overblot so rare? Judging from what we've seen, one would think a kid would snap and overblot once every 5 years or something, bare minimum

Anyway, what do you think?

Okay, this is gonna actually be a decently long ramble. Buckle end

So...We got two choices. Either Overblots ARE super rare, which story-wise I'm not entirely sure about either since there are seemingly 10,000 phantoms on ice in STYX. If all of those containment boxes have a phantom in them then that is a FUCK TON of overblots happening around the world at a pretty decent pace.

OR

Overblots AREN'T super rare and plenty of mini-overblots happen that only have the phantoms being taken away with or without casualties.

It's kinda just storywise of the Twist boys just being very powerful teen mages who seem to have the most tragic backstories ever seen in the world and THAT'S why only now they're over-blotting. But even then, 7-8 seriously intense overblots like months apart on the same campus is still fucking weird...

But within my own canon (That I will really deep dive into in my Main story rewrite fic), is that the Overblots are being TRIGGERED BY CROWLEY.

We are a non-magical being, brought to NRC against our will with no idea how we actually got there or how to get home. Once we were rejected by the Dark Mirror and Crowley learns we're potentially not from this world at all, instead of like...handing us over to some type of authorities or even STYX...Crowley puts us in an abandoned, isolated building and tries to make us what is basically an indentured servant???

You can mainly just chalk that up to Crowley being an asshole. And you can even use that logic for the prologue and Book 1. But within my canon, Crowley is the mastermind triggering all these overblots for an end goal. Those were TESTS, to make sure that we can actually survive an overblot fight, and to make sure the chosen target can survive an overblot because OVERBLOTS ARE SUPPOSE TO BE FATAL.

Because from that point on, Crowley is the one throwing us at every issue that leads to an overblot. He puts us on the case for the Spelldrive accidents, he tells us to figure something out with Azul, (kind of a stretch) He has us feed the fire fairies in the cafeteria to be in Jamil's crosshairs, He just DECIDES we need to host the VDC team when literally anywhere else is better than Ramshackle (WE CANONICALLY DON'T HAVE RUNNING WATER AT THIS POINT????).

Book 6 didn't have much Crowley pushing us, but he was busy getting grilled by actual officials on WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AT THIS SCHOOL????

Book 7...after literally having...no talk since the start of book 4 about us finding a way home...just comes out and says that he might of found us a way home??? Very...convenient since Malleus was on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

Plus just...how did Grim get into the school? Like Grim is a monster, that's a fact. NRC is on the top of an evil ass mountain, there's SOMETHING outside those gates and the school has some type of spell to keep whatever it is outside. But Grim manages to break in like twice? "Undetected?"

Even in the prologue, he had a mage stone collar PREPARED to accept Grim into the school as a student. He's like...weirdly prepared with a lot of shit.

Crowley is sus as fuck and he is the one causing all of these overblots

[luckydragon10]

One Interpretation: Dum Dum MV

I was looking around for some story interpretation for Jeff Satur's new MV that just dropped, couldn't find what I wanted, had to do my best to work through what I'm seeing and all my feels.

First, the video:

NOTE: THIS IS HIGHLY INTERPRETIVE. There's no one true way to interpret a music video like this. I'm going with the interpretation that I enjoy the most.

As much as I love everything Jeff does, I'm a story slut through and through, and this story lit my brain on fire.

On my first time watching, I was struggling to figure out what the story was saying. I felt like I was getting a lot of little pieces and clues, but they weren't forming a coherent picture for me.

Then like a lightning strike, "AHA!" I got it at the very end, BAM, right when this big gasping moment happened:

The story that came together for me:

Businessman!Jeff was murdered, brutally (stating the obvious here). Then somehow, some way, he was able to come back to life. The means and reason behind this are unclear, and what he comes back as is also up for interpretation, but for me it reads as Zombie!Jeff.

Visuals that support my zombie feels:

The scenes with the red windows with clawing hands

The washed out, faded hair, reminiscent of life being sucked away

The dance moves, which I know people are ragging on hard, but which to me read as "baby zombie relearning how to move"

^-- this basically comes from every zombie movie ever.

He doesn't go on his roadtrip of vengeance right away after his reanimation. He does some development first, learning how to move, getting tattoos, stockpiling weapons, etc. He also has to sing about it.

I also feel like there's a little bit of a choice that Zombie!Jeff has to make. Is he going to live his second life for himself, or is he going to pursue vengeance?

The DUALITTYYYYYY.

What happens if he does pursue vengeance? What does he lose? Does he lose his soul? Give up his chance at heaven? For me, the sky imagery supports the choice being made between heaven and hell:

Later, after he exacts his revenge, there's definitely a resolution and a CHANGE that occurs, when we see Zombie!Jeff drop like a puppet with its strings cut:

That's going to break my heart every time I see it. Ugh.

But, for me, storywise, here's the most important thing: It's only AFTER Zombie!Jeff collapses that we then see Businessman!Jeff gasp.

Big AHA! moment.

At this point, how I interpret the story is fuzzy and depends on whether I'm looking at it optimistically or pessimistically. And how that works has to do with the timeline:

The optimistic interpretation is a sequential timeline: After Zombie!Jeff gets his vengeance and then collapses, Businessman!Jeff comes back to life. Maybe his mission was actually what he had to do to regain his real life.

The pessimistic interpretation is non-sequential: After Zombie!Jeff collapses, he's finally dead for real. What happens then in the video is that we the viewers jump backwards in the timeline to see the moment Zombie!Jeff initially reanimated, taking his first zombie gasp, his lovely zombie life just beginning. Was he given a choice between following vengeance or living peacefully? Perhaps the cost of vengeance would be this second half-living life, a price to pay?

This is a face that says "my vengeance is worth any price":

Whew. Still having feelings over here. I actually hope Zombie!Jeff is okay, living his best undead life. 🥺🙏

[furiousofpanda]

Another unnamed concept for an oc time except for its a basis for a creepypasta that I'm never going to make cause I don't have the time or effort to try and make it real

So I used to go hiking a lot, and even now I fucking love just running around in the woods UH BUT ANYWAYS thus is very inspired from a mountain I climbed with my family called Tiger Mountain. Despite its name its no actually that difficult and is a very beginner friendly trail last I remember. I don't remember If camping or hiking during the night was allowed but for my story I'm assuming they arent.

The concept is that there are masked figures in the woods near dusk. They scare visitors from staying overnight in the woods but also save lost individuals just so nobody ends up sleeping in the woods on tiger mountain.

They say if you sleep overnight there you are giving your soul to the mountain, and you will become one with it over time. This basis is important to understand the several characters I have in mind. All it takes in this scenario is someone to go unconscious and their soul belongs to tiger mountain. You'll know it's taken because a mask will appear. The masks are animal masks of animals that can survive in the forest but also metaphorically represent the individuals strengths and weaknesses. Over time (after 10-20 years) the person, even if they reside in the forest or have moved far away, will turn into that creature. The more damaged the mask is the less time you have, and trying to throw away the mask? It'll just re-appear in your line of sight the moment you take eyes off of it unless it's on you/your holding it.

Now to the actual characters. All of them are victims, none of them chose this but do what they can to make sure nobody ever sleeps in the forest.

I'll refer to each character by their mask as none of them I've come up with names yet.

Rabbit - Quick on feet, impatient, not very talkative, can fight but rathers to flee, tripped and got knocked unconscious by a rock, woke up head bleeding and a mask next to them. Trans FTM, learns about the curse and become friends with Turtle, witnesses turtle turn into a turtle, freaks out, tries to figure out how to reverse the curse but ends up being unsuccessful and runs out of time. He moved into a home nearby tiger mountain before becoming part of the mess to escape a transphobic environment. 26

Fatima (i think i spelt her name wrong but this is Turtle) - thinks before speaking, calm and collected, accepted her fate and has made a secret garden not only for the masked members who live in the woods bit also so that once she turns she has food for a long while. Got ditched by her abusive family in the mountain (they left her behind and never went to find her ever). 19

Ferret - a bit of a Comedian, fast on foot but clumsy, impulsive, ran away from home and doesn't want to return (abusive family), actually willing to kill people if it comes to getting them out of the forrest, needs therapy (he's not okay), 17

Mouse - Mother abandoned them in the forest because she wasn't ready to be a mother/ plus some dark shit im not going to drop on yall yet /. Mouse is curious and doesn't understand right from wrong, still learning who they are, 3 years old.

Woodpecker - crafty, always making things, good at math. worked low end jobs and has a passion for construction, fell asleep on accident while on break while making direction signs that he was hired to put up on the trail. Kinda just doesn't mind living in the forest because he doesn't have to pay taxes and gets to build houses and random things. 42

Coyote - loud, actual asshole, probably storywise turns first. He is pushy, likes to steal or cause harm on purpose, throws away his Mask or damages it every chance he can because "its stupid", gets into fights with others oftenly, everyone hate him but he has nowhere to go. Literally no remorse and triggers/sets off everyone's family issues whenever he exists in the same room as anyone else. 16

There's more but it's 2:30 am my ass needs sleep, I'll write more if I remember to

[crashingmeteor3]

My absolutely marvellous review of Yoke Guy Watch T!!

So I just finished the game (just as in yesterday) and I haven't done much post-game stuff other than favours and my daily things. But, I can say I definitely enjoyed the game.

But I'm going to go over the things I found difficult or just didn't enjoy in the game.

I found the whole supermarket thing difficult, especially the chase at the end, it took me an embarrassingly long time to time my jumps correctly. But the boss battle was fun and not too challenging. Zombie Night isn't half as bad as I thought it would be, but I still don't enjoy it very much lol.

The Clown time thing gives me the creeps, I don't like clowns in general so being chased by one suddenly? I barely made it lol.

Terror time is terror time. I still suck at it.

As I said before, I wish you could do more storywise as Hailey that's not getting stuff after the stories merge. While I found playing in BBQ as Nate more fun, Hailey's character is a lot more entertaining. So I wish I could've played as her more.

Not a nitpick, but I still haven't got Sighborg Y after so many attempts. I guess I'm just not lucky lol.

More of a personal problem but the fact it took me up until chapter 5 to get Dimmy and Dazzabel because they hardly showed up is a pain in the butt. But I got my children and unfortunately, I had to swap Ratelle out for Mee2 to have a second healer since I desperately needed one. Auntie Heart is the punching bag and having a backup healer in case she goes down is helpful. I also wanted to use Allnyta but never found bothered to figure out where Tengloom is.

Again not really a problem but I feel like quests were a lot less relevant in the main story, sure you have the detective agency but once I got Mirapo unlocked and I didn't have to do any quests there to progress the main story I totally forgot about it and Sparkopolis altogether. I didn't see many quests at all on Nate's side. This is good because I got to focus on the main story more but I do enjoy getting sidetracked and doing fun quests.

Unpopular opinion, but I didn't enjoy the alternate dimension quests (at least the ones I have done so far). I skipped most of the cutscenes for the first quest because of how uninteresting it was for me, I didn't enjoy the concept, but I did like playing the game as Katie! For the second quest, I don't understand why the tour was changed to some heroine competition? They probably didn't want it to be the same tour again, but they could've changed some things to make it more interesting.

And in the end, we get the most (in my opinion) unsatisfying ending, with the shark winning the whole thing? But seeing No-Bot was cool in the quest, especially when you see him in the Bada-Bing Tower later. This makes me wonder if Yopple Bot would be at the tower instead in Katie's dimension. Or if the whole Ghoulfather thing has happened at all there.

I wish Buck had more involvement, his whole personality for the most part was adventure, aliens and ufos. I thought the Hazeltine Manor chapter would give us some more information about him, but we hardly saw him at all. He doesn't do much outside of the three things I mentioned either, which kind of sucks. Or maybe he does, and I just forget. I still love him though. I feel a similar way about Jessica, she's Hailey's best friend or something and it would've been nice if she had a role similar to Katie's as a good friend character. I kind of wish she got involved in the yo-kai stuff to at least some degree so she could be like how Buck is to Nate. But that'd be messy in the end so I understand why they didn't.

I didn't find many of the Merican/New yo-kai very interesting, the ones I found most interesting are the S-ranks, unfortunately. I still like some of them though!

And now the good parts!

The characters are fun, and while the main characters are great apart, they're so entertaining together I enjoyed the times in later chapters when they were together doing stuff! Whisper, Jibanyan and Usapyon are wonderful, as usual. Blunder and Folly, while I question their relevance, were also entertaining to watch.

I like the involvement of the Blasters House, it was a nice surprise. I liked seeing them again seeing as I didn't enjoy playing Blasters much game-play-wise. Which is probably why I didn't play Blasters T very much. I liked the yo-kai heroes too.

One of my favourite parts of the game was the Yopple Tour, seeing old characters like Kyubi, Venoct, Arachnus, Toadal Dude and Komasan and Komajiro was awesome. And Spect-Hare and Double Time were entertaining.

I loved the Dukesville storyline with Unnbearaboy and Jane, it was very sweet, but sad how they had to split again so soon.

Deadcool. All I have to say.

The boss battles were fun, yet difficult. I lost to Slackajack a couple of times. I was worried I wouldn't like the grid system, but it's fun to strategize where to use my yo-kai and being able to dodge attacks.

Yo-kai watch blaster go pew pew, all I have to say.

And there's a lot more stuff, but just so I don't write a whole book here. I'll stop listing stuff XD

My final team was Usapyon, Blandon, Sgt. Burly, Mee2, Mama Aura and my Originyan called Nyanplay (pun on Nyan, as most if not all of the jibanyan variants, have nyan in their name, and cosplay!) . But I also used Jibanyan, Wydeawake, Ratelle, Demandi, Intune, Thurston and others. I tried to use the new yo-kai, but that failed. Maybe on my other save file, I'll do a Merican yo-kai-only run.

[atwas-gaming]

Some thoughts on the Sudran Pathogen:

Damu was supposed to be able to turn people into terrifying beasts, right? But the war ended after he became an Arm, so he never got his full power.

Athetos turns his clones into... ugh, various things, mostly giant bugs/creatures of some sort. And the OST track for both Athetos and Uruku is "Apocalypse," which is the name of both the Arms ("Apocalypse Arms") and the blue flasks ("Apocalypse Flasks").

And remember the hallucination route? Trace caught the pathogen and hallucinated that he became some kind of flying creature- meanwhile, in his hallucination, he also saw himself on the ground, saying "Demon, Athetos say kill" in that semi-robotic voice. I still think the one on the ground was Trace and the flying one was imagined, but... either way, whichever one was actually Trace, he didn't look or sound fully human.

And Trace doesn't get sick until he enters Ukkin-Na (although there is that one moment in Zi where we see another Trace run off to the left... but Trace didn't see them, so I don't think that was actually an hallucination, Trace would have said something if he'd seen them). You can spend hours running around every other part of Sudra that you can reach up to that point, but he doesn't get sick until he enters Ukkin-Na. Yes, I understand how this works from a game coding perspective; but storywise, it's just very interesting how he doesn't get sick until he enters Ophelia's area- Ophelia being the one who carries Damu.

You know, they never did tell us exactly how Ophelia was able to just magically cure Trace of the pathogen.

Speaking of the pathogen- how come they always specifically use the word "pathogen" and not a more common word like "virus"? I noticed this early on in the first game. I think they sometimes use words like "plague" and "disease," but never "virus" or "bacteria" or anything else. So, it's not a virus or bacteria or any kind of germ that we know about.

It seems that Athetos was using the pathogen to create his variants. And, from what I've gathered in my research in the fandom, etc., those Xedur-like things appear in AV2 as a result of people being in the same area as Damu. (I didn't figure that out on my own, I just always thought it was weird that I'd return to an area and a Xedur would be there, but none of the people.)

I've seen the theory that Damu is somehow the source of the pathogen. Or that the pathogen is carried from the Breach. Either way... I don't think it's a "pathogen" at all, unless you count a computer virus as a pathogen. Yup. I'm saying, this isn't an actual disease, it's a result of the nanites. There are many sci-fi stories about self-replicating nanites that basically become some kind of infectious contagion. I think that's what happened here.

It would make sense. Magic doesn't exist in this game, it's hard sci-fi. Damu can't just wave an arm and turn people into giant animals. So the way he would do it is to infect them with self-replicating nanites. But his transformation into an Arm was incomplete because the experiments stopped when the war with the Udug ended. So his nanotechnology was never perfected. It's out of control, and so it doesn't just stop with turning one person into an animal- it takes over their mind and also spreads to other people.

Furthermore, while Athetos is a physicist and, apparently, something of an engineer, he is not a biologist. It makes no sense that Athetos would have the skills or knowledge to create, modify, or release a pathogen of that magnitude. Heck, he can only create clones of himself by using the rebirth chamber. The obvious explanation is that he uses self-replicating nanotech to turn his clones into the variants.

There's still a lot of holes in my theories, but I feel like I'm coming closer to understanding what's going on. What I still haven't figured out- and from what I've read so far, neither has anyone else- is why the pathogen only turns some people into giant beasts, while most people just either die or turn into white mutant zombies???

[thepoetjean-makes-stuff]

UPDATE ON LEARNING HOW TO WRITE SCI-FI: Got a few writing craft books based off online reccs! Still reading them but they've deffo helped me figure a lot of things out, writing AND genre wise when it comes to sci-fi specifically. Will report back if they're useful in the long term.

From what I can gather about most old school sci-fi is it focuses on Really Cool Scientific Theories and Concepts TM, but as a result, a lot of the other story aspects like plot, characterization, ect fall to the way side, which is a shame. A lot of speculative fiction genre stuffs has this problem, but because sci-fi has been so Male-dominated and closed off until fairly recently, we got the a lot of the same mistakes and perspectives storywise because they base themselves off of each other, so to speak.

I only care about this cool alien world insomuch it matters to the characters, and a LOT of old scifi just skips over that in favor of worldbuilding, cool concepts, etc.

ALSO -- IVE APPARENTLY READ MORE SCIFI THAN IVE REALIZED HEHE IM A FRAUD--

I read a LOT of Jules Verne growing up, and now I've been reading a lot of Octavia Butler, literally the Queen TM of Modern Scifi (though she would have called the work she wrote 'fantasy' -- go figure). I'll read some more in the genre before figuring out what kind of sci-fi //I, myself// wanna write, but I'm enjoying myself more than I previously thought I would! And that's good!

Also, many thanks to my own Dad who's love of scifi and reading nutured my own love of reading and writing in a lot of gentle, parallel ways. Love you, Dad :3

Ok, enough sap, back to research! Thanks for listening as I scream into the void, yall!! Take care of yourself :3

[calciumcryptid]

Do you think we'll ever get a next gen version of your verses?

Well you see unlike Marvel and DC, I'm actually not afraid of next gen characters.

In fact, the Classverse not only have built in next gen characters but have built in in second generation couples. I just haven't talked much about them because I have no clue where to really start explaining all the different facets of that universe.

Naturalsverse does have some doodles of a second generation but I think that is my one universe that I'll probably end after the first generation because I have no idea what the second generation would look like storywise.

Floretverse also has doodles of a second generation, but this time a lot more flushed out and I've even given it a working name (Secrets of Staris) but it is still a work in progress.

As for DC Earth-64 (and a potential Marvel Earth-64 when I get back into that phase), I don't know because I'm still trying to figure out the couples of my next generation and have exactly three couples decided.

[tale-of-two-queens]

I AM ALIVE

So sorry for the lack of posting. I have a lot of stuff to do in my major blog, and some other stuff to attend to. So, I haven't got much motivation due to my mental health being like a rollercoaster much of the time, but to make up to y'all, I'll leave some concept art of Empress Sokushi

So, as far as to can tell from her sketches, she is in fact the main antagonist of "Tale of Two Queens." I took inspiration from Shuriki's concept art because I love it and it inspired me to work on her design, I still working on her finalize design and the references.

So, some trivia!!

She's the empress of the Northern Islands by law and by marriage with the late Emperor (Alderic.) Her crown is inspired by the Empress Crown of Japan, since Sokushi is in fact from Satu (Japanese)

I nearly made a goof because I legit forgot Satu is sorta the Japan of the show or was inspired by Japan. So, the Northern Islands are more leaning towards Europe, but is considered an Empire (I'll make a post explaining the government)

Sokushi is an empress due to the Northern Islands, in my universe, being considered an Empire (Most likely a constitutional monarchy) but also as I always intended to give her the title "Empress" (Since I do think the show should have make King Toshi an emperor than a king since Japan is itself an empire, but that is just me.)

Sokushi can do magic, but I'm in the process of figuring it all out due to magic in Japan culture being different from the western magic culture. Emperor Alderic will have a more eastern culture magic side.

Sokushi has three children. Two daughters and one son. The oldest one, is the Crown Princess of the Northern islands (which could possibly mess up the timeline, so there is a big chance of mayor chances in order to make sense storywise.

Personality wise, I'll call Sokushi a very analytical woman that takes battling so seriously, and sometimes can be seen as heartless if you try to mess up with what she adores. She is also a loving mother that loves her children very much and taught them a lot.

As you can tell and what I said before, her official design will heavily inspire by Shuriki's concept art (which I hope I could have gotten more) and some small nods inspired by Japan too (Her dress i'm working on would be a reference to the jūnihitoe 

Her color scheme is still working on, but it would be focused on greens and blues

[herbgerblin]

Anon, I'm responding under the cut to avoid spoilers :0

Anonymous asked:

I was kind of confused by the ethersea finale and wondered if you understood it better than I did. So Brother Seldom killed Guidance to prevent her from telling everyone that Homonine still existed, but why? Like how did he know to do that? And how did Orlean know that Seldom was going to betray her? Maybe we’re not supposed to know, but I was a little lost there. Also no worries if you decide not to answer this because of spoilers! I love your blog and your art

--

Thanks :3!

I'm with you, I found most of the plot points regarding Devo's arc to be very confusing. I think some of the questions you're asking could very well be answered in Season 2 of Ethersea. But I think a good bit of the last few episode's were impacted by outside factors (namely, Griffin moving from Austin to DC, but also just general burnout.) Though, I don't know how much planning went into shifting the arc from, "murder mystery of a public figure" to "saving the world vis a vis time shenanigans."

I also found the conversation between Devo and Tolliver to be very frustrating. To me, it felt like they were trying to out rug-pull each other with lore. There was a lack of "yes, and" going on, and I think that was a detriment to the finale. Which is a shame!! Because I adore the concept of a person having to exist in two timelines simultaneously, but I doubt it will be explored in more depth. :(

I think Zoox and Amber's character arcs were the most straight forward, by virtue of Justin and Clint's dynamics with Griffin being comparatively more parred down. There's still a lot more room to grow storywise (especially for Amber's arc.) But I think the McElroys really need to work on discussing story beats outside of recording. It may make revelations less spontaneous, but it would definitely improve the pacing.

[spinjitzuhottakes]

Lloyd Garmadon - A brief look at Shipping and Discourse

Right, figure I'd start off with a bang and light myself up like a firework on new years cause what better way to make my first discussion on this blog than be about Lloyd, one of the most discoursed characters to ship in this dang fandom.

Let me just say this.

I don't actively ship Lloyd with anyone. A lot of the opinions surrounding Lloyd in a romance makes it difficult for me to do so, its even more difficult when Lloyd is the character who gets shipped 90% of the time with a fan oc character. (No shame there if you do that, its just something I've very much noticed.)

However. HOWEVER.

I still have in fact, read and viewed fancontent which contains Lloyd in a romantic or sexual relationship. Some of that content does in fact include ships with the main cast, particularly the main 4.

And yes, some of this content is in fact in the universe of the show, not the movie (which tbh is a whole other topic that I probably will touch at a later point cause I have noticed things about the fandom and the show that were caused by the movie releasing)

Why is that?

Cause the art is really cute and the fanfic premise is really interesting or honestly really sweet.

Anyway.

My point is, is that while I don't actively ship Lloyd with anyone, I still have chosen to read and look at things that depict that sort of thing.

And some of those things? They were pretty explicit and sometimes I did feel the need to scroll and fastforward through the scene.

However I still chose to look at those of my own volition and not just because of the...well content. (not usually)

For fanfics, it was how the story was laid out to me, I was usually drawn to those things due to the premise, sometimes they were pretty grim and tragic in a way.

Why is that?

Something I will honestly admit is that when it comes to fandom fanfic as a whole, Ninjago is a fandom I don't really read E rate smut fics for, it's never been that sort of fandom for me. If I do read something mature or explicit here, it really is honest to god not for the pure 18+ content in there.

Cause good lord, some of those explicit fics honestly need a revision or three.

The fics and content I have viewed and found interesting, usually has to do in some regards to how Lloyd in a relationship (explicit or otherwise) would work and honest to god conflict.

Especially given how much we as the fandom remember the situation regarding the tomorrow tea.

Lloyd's situation with the tomorrow tea actually reminds me of a character in my favourite anime. But i'll get into that in a later topic that talks more about Lloyd's age.

Point is, Lloyd's situation is not really the first time I've seen this happen in media and is one of the reasons why shipping Lloyd is actually quite fascinating even if it gets seriously fucking annoying when I have to deal with fandom.

Now, heres the first hurdle, what about Lloyd's age. He's practically eight/twelve and morally its wrong to ship him.

So...i'm just gonna say this. I actually think to suggest something like that really does a disservice to Lloyd as a whole.

Something that has been stated as canon and what I feel was meant to always be implied by the creators is that when Lloyd used the Tomorrow Tea, He was infact permenantly aged up to be the roughly same age as the rest of the cast. He needed to become their equal storywise. It was basically their way of getting around the fact that they had no idea how to make Lloyd as a 8-12 year old reasonably fight his dad/the dark one and have it not seem seriously messed up compared to what would essentially be a teenager fighting him.

Which even though its less messed up, it still is messed up. Wtf destiny.

For reasons I may or may not also further address at a later date in the same talk about Lloyds age, I also honestly believe that Lloyd needing to age up to be same age as the cast was needed for his development and any concept that deletes or reverses that fact has to have a very good reason to do so, otherwise it just seems like they're reversing an essential part of Lloyds story.

And I enjoy exploring content that touches upon the result of that, because the conflict that can be drawn from that is really interesting! Especially if it has to do with romance!

However this honestly leads into the other elephant in the room. And something that gets reasonably talked about and I understand where the thought comes from.

The power dynamics between age and experiance can seem off and at times uncomfortable when it comes to Lloyd being shipped with any of the Ninja. I understand where people are coming from with that, particularly when it comes to pre season 8 to 10 interpretations of the team and Lloyd. Lloyd is very much still seen by a lot of people (and the fandom) during this time as the youngest in the group even though he is roughly the same age as everyone. (Like truthfully, if anything the youngest he'd be is Nya's age.)

Heck they even joke about it multiple times hilariously enough. s5 and s8 with the voice jokes?

Post s10 though? Its a lot more less of a thing. Aside from the occasional joke about Lloyd not knowing what a VCR is (cause he's the kid in the group you guys remember?.) The would be power dynamic and age imbalance between him and the others is less apparent and I'm pretty sure if someone came into the series post s10, they would only know Lloyd as being the leader of the ninja and the same age as the others and not as that gremlin kid from s1.

That's because that's how Lloyd has been developed into, He's in full context basically just like the others now, like what his movie form is (which is also another topic I'd like to talk about at a later point about how the movie changed the show in a few ways)

The only reason a lot of people think otherwise is due to the fact we have context of previous seasons that truthfully does affect us. A lot of people still see and H/C Lloyd as being a lot younger than the other characters and therefore its morally wrong to ship him with the other Ninja and if you do, you should burn at the stake.

But, that's dumb. Like really dumb.

Exploration of these topics is risky yeah and it can lead to some questionable things. But honestly it shouldn't be completely demonized. These sorts of things can act as a sort coping material for folks struggling on those issues.

It really isn't hurting anyone and if you say its harming you, than maybe you should ask yourself why you chose to read/look at the thing in the first place instead of blaming the person who made it.

Why would you eat the food if you know you hate the taste? Thats like asking for olives when you detest olives

Listen I'm not gonna lie...I've seen some questionable stuff tagged in the Ninjago tag and the fanfic section of ao3. But I knew not to touch it.

Why?

Cause I knew I wasn't for me.

This is a mindset I honestly wish a lot of people in this fandom could pick up. If someone is being a genuine threat to the fanbase then yeah, maybe there's a reason for concern.

However, someone shipping two characters together is NOT that reason. No matter how much you try to tell yourself.

- H.T

[etheriadearie]

“Promise”

Why can't you just… Promise ?

Today's goal is an in-depth look at one of the most beautiful and breathtaking episodes of She-ra: "Promise"

Storywise, it's incredibly important to the series, and focuses entirely on Catradora. It's the first time since Adora left Catra behind to seek out the sword that the girls really have an opportunity to talk, and things are not going well. Both of them are royally pissed off at the other, with good reason.

For Adora, we're gonna deflate that proud hair poof of hers a bit, as we'll take an honest look at her as a person at this point in her life. And Catra... she's really guarding her feelings closely, as she's already deeply angry with Adora. But we will use the combination of Catra's younger self in the memories they see, plus looking at other times in the series that relate to this episode, where she was less guarded, in order to understand her as a person at this time. Also: warning: tl;dr, best enjoyed while cozy with a drink..

To get started, we skip to when they end up stuck together…

After Adora takes drastic measures to ward off the security spiders by collapsing the tunnel, the girls are now stuck together, and so… they talk...

We immediately see how incredibly irritated they are with each other as Adora chides Catra for being in the Crystal Castle, since the monsters will continue to attack them as long as she's protecting Catra… only to have Catra retort that she didn't ask for protection. Some snippy bickering back and forth happens, then...

Adora asks: "Does Shadow Weaver know you're here?" Very deadpan assertion from Adora. She knows Catra must be disobeying orders, she just doesn't know why.

"I'd say Shadow Weaver has bigger problems right now". Catra is already starting her move against SW back at the Horde. With SW abusively blocking her every move within the Horde, and now that Catra knows that SW was going to mind wipe Adora, Catra has decided she must deal with her abuser.

Adora puts on her telltale sideways grin, and Catra chafes at Adora's flirtation, saying "I told you it's not because I like you” downplaying Adora’s suggestion that this was the reason she let her go. Catra freely admits here that she does like Adora, but it's not the real reason she did it. Still, Catra doesn't explain further, and we see later that Catra often lets Adora explain away her actions this way... but that Adora constantly misses the deeper truths.

"Where are your new best friends? I thought you did everything together". She's very snarky and dismissive of Adora and her flirting. She's mad about Adora leaving her for her new life.

"The ones you let SW imprison and curse?" Adora is angry at Catra for what she did, which was a sudden escalation of things by Catra.

"Yeah obviously, what other friends would I be talking about?" An obvious dig at Adora for leaving her, everything behind. She deadpans this, staring back plainly. Catra is obviously really angry at Adora... while Adora is legitimately mad at Catra for doing something so nasty to Bow and Glimmer...

::Let's take a moment to talk about Catra's feelings about Adora's new friends: Catra feels horribly betrayed by this. Adora completely tossed her aside, and replaced her with Bow and Glimmer. What comes to mind is at the end of Sea Gate, Catra is thrown in the water and then looks up at Adora, who is celebrating and cuddling with Bow and Glimmer. Catra is emotionally forlorn watching this, as Scorpia comes to drag her off to safety, Adora doesn't even look back towards her.

She's forgotten, Adora showed no love towards her at all in that scene (and then hardly any at Princess Prom, either). Adora ignored her plea for her to return, she didn't reach out to Catra at all. And now she watches her cuddle with her new friends: everything Catra thought she had with Adora meant nothing, and she's been replaced with these feel goodie goods who are fawning all over Adora.

Suffice to say, Catra couldn't do this, she's got way too many issues with emotional intimacy and touch aversion. So she watches Adora, seeing that what she offered her wasn't good enough, knowing because of it she's forgotten. Catra was trying really hard to be a close friend to Adora in spite of her issues, but as we will see, Adora wasn't trying to understand what was going on with Catra. And because of this, Catra was too afraid to express her affection openly, and yet here's Adora... accepting all of Bow and Glimmer’s love, for which Adora really did nothing to earn. Adora took Catra’s friendship for granted while ignoring her deeper needs, as will be explained, then completely abandons her, not even seeming to miss her. Catra is deeply hurt by the unfairness of this.

>Catra stares back at Adora, frustrated when she doesn't even acknowledge their lost friendship.

"Well, we don't need to go together. You do your weird little magic quest thing I'll find my own way out". Catra looks resentfully at the sword on Adora's back as she says this. Catra is laying down boundaries, except it's useless since they are trapped together. But, boundaries are important to Catra and as the episode progresses, Adora shows that she doesn't really understand Catra's.

>As they walk along, both girls' shadows loom equally tall. The symbolism is that in this story, both are equally important... it's also a shockingly beautiful sequence. (pic above)

After entering the room of infinite darkness, Catra tries to separate from Adora but the door is gone, they are stuck together. Weird things start happening. As the Fright Zone appears, both of them are confused. Adora decides to suspect Catra, after all, she attacked her friends. But as Adora grabs Catra, Catra is surprised and confused... Catra doesn't like being touched unexpectedly, Adora knows this but is ignoring that and attacking her. She gets treated as an enemy when she clearly hasn't done anything wrong, and it sets the tone for the two of them: Adora has constantly treated Catra as an enemy since the very moment she defected, not even trying to understand Catra's point of view. And so Catra increasingly emotionally distances herself from Adora. Catra angrily casts Adora's arm aside, not liking being vilified by her, and Adora doesn't understand why Catra is so upset. Catra slips away to explore, needing space from her.

The way Adora immediately suspects and then attacks Catra is symbolic to the whole episode: by defecting to the Rebellion, Adora chose to start treating Catra, and her entire unit, as enemies, backing it up with hostility. But Catra doesn't really agree that the horde is evil... in her experience, it's just how life is.

>The two girls, now separated, call out to each other. Adora hears Catra's call, then another: young Catra is behind her, looking lost and insecure. Catra joins Adora as their first memory has just begun…

~DISCLAIMER TIME~ A lot of information in She-ra is inferred by emotional context, so if this seems a bit head-canon-y, I assure you, I have data! Please ask questions and seek clarifications, I promise to answer back! ~EtheriaDearie

>A worried and hurt young Catra runs to young Adora's side. She is emotional and needs support. Adora checks her out then gets the real deal: Catra was in a fight with an adult. It hints that Catra always had to deal with people messing with her, even before SW began her abuse. This is a guess, but it's probable: this is likely a happy memory of the two of them right before the hurting began. Along with the "promise" memory and the moments immediately preceding their entering the Black Garnet chamber, these scenes set the baseline for what their friendship was like before Catra suffered SW’s abuse. Also, this memory is a happy one, and how Adora remembers their friendship: it was likely triggered by her memories. The next ones are not, as I believe they are triggered by Catra, who is trying to explain to Adora what was so painful about their childhood...

>Catra doesn't know what to expect when she shows Octavia to Adora. She probably expects Adora to try to apologize on her behalf, or to give her a hard time about what she did. Instead, Adora sticks with her friend and yells “Hey Octavia, you're a dumbface." This brings young Catra much joy, Adora is sticking with her, not passing judgement. The two young girls run together hand in hand, experiencing childhood bliss, but it doesn't last. The present versions of themselves return, holding hands...

They share a brief moment of connection before Catra pulls her hand away in anger. Adora is surprised at the strength of Catra’s reaction. They are not on intimate terms any more, in fact, I suspect they had been struggling for a while before Adora's defection. Adora doesn't want the moment to stop, but Catra does. It hints that the gulf between them is already wide.

"How can you deal with all this magic stuff?" Catra has a deep distrust of magic, as it was used in her abuse. She resents it, and throughout the series whenever anything magic happens that she doesn't see coming she gets creeped out.

"I'm only dealing with it because I need to figure out how to heal Glimmer after someone got her cursed." It's a valid criticism, but Catra deflects it.

"What do you want? An apology? You're not getting one." We don't get the full story on this moment until season 5 when a young Catra tells Adora she'll "never say sorry to anybody, ever." Adora doesn't like Catra just refusing to explain, and as Catra pushes her away, Catra is full of reproach at Adora's judgement.

::As an abused child, Catra was continuously vilified and abused by everyone but Adora. And when Adora would suggest she apologize throughout their lives, she can't understand why Catra won't. It comes down to literally everyone in the world judging Catra and being cruel. Not once did any of them apologize to her, even though she didn't do anything to deserve the abuse. Except Adora... but that has issues, too. In fact, SW literally tells her "I won't apologize" regarding her abuse of Catra. Can you imagine the hurt at that?

[pic caption: Catra refuses to apologize, Catra often shows her deeper emotions while blinking, in this case: the incredible pain she experienced from SW’s abuse.]

So no, Catra won't apologize, she had a thing she was trying to do by kidnapping Bow and Glimmer and taking her sword, and it ended badly. But she felt she had a good reason to do it: she wanted to force Adora to see her, to make her acknowledge how big of a part of Adora’s life Catra used to be. And it's not like anyone has been helping Catra, she's had to make every single decision on her own her entire life and live with the consequences.

Also, mistakes for Catra have an entirely different meaning than they do for Adora. Whenever Adora made a mistake, she was given an opportunity to fix it. This is a theme of their relationship: Adora expects Catra to let her fix her mistakes. But for Catra, she learned that any mistake she made was dangerous, as when she did make a mistake, SW would torture her for it. And if other people saw it too, they'd use it to perpetuate the notion that she's some kind of no good fuck up. So Catra is extremely careful to not make mistakes, and if she does, she tries to cover it up, distance herself from it. (note: this isn't the same as Catra's intentional rebellions against this system where she was unfairly targeted for abuse-). This is why Catra simply cannot forgive Adora easily for breaking her promise: in Catra's world, she had to be perfect, or she could have been dead by SW's hand. She wasn't allowed to make mistakes like Adora is, she is what is clinically known as 'hyper vigilant' and always preparing for the worst. And so she applies this standard to be perfect all the time to Adora, and therefore she won't give Adora the same license to make mistakes with their friendship. Catra thinks Adora should know better, and see the consequences of her actions.

>Adora lets it go: when Catra seems to shut down, Adora does her best to try to accept her. Adora tries a different track. She asks Catra why she let her and Glimmer go when SW had them imprisoned, when it could have resulted in Catra getting in trouble. Catra walks ahead, trying to distance herself from having to answer. But the magic of the Crystal Castle intervenes: as Adora slips and begins to fall, Catra saves her. It's a symbolic moment: Catra has always tried to protect Adora, to save her from pain. It's why she changed course to give the sword back to her, partly.

"Did you really think I'd just let SW erase your memory like that?"

"I don't know. Probably." Adora shows such little understanding of their friendship. It shows Adora really is thinking of Catra as an enemy, not as the complicated person stuck between protecting her friend, and the cruel necessities of her life.

Catra looks at Adora with disappointment. "Yeah, well, you never did have too much faith in me." Adora tries to understand Catra's emotions, fails.

"Huh, can you blame me?" Ouch. Adora smiles at Catra, trying to show love for her roguish quirks. But it just shows how little Adora understands: she is repeating a negative stereotype of Catra that everyone in their old life believes and perpetuates. And Adora should know better, instead of just assuming the worst about her. That persona is one which Catra uses to protect herself, partly from her own emotional feelings, but also as a necessity to protect herself from SW. She had to act like she doesn't care, doesn't try, so SW wouldn't see her power.

"Psh, not really." As Catra turns away, again she deadpans this but you can see pain and disappointment leaking past her indifference.

As she walks away she trails her tail across Adora's hand, flirting and drawing Adora's attention to her butt. It's a cute little moment of telling a truth to counter the lie: 'Adora, you should know me better, and also, I like you.' Still, it's only a half truth: Catra couldn't let SW win because SW is Catra's true enemy. But, Adora takes the flirtatious hint, as always. She accepts it and doesn't dig deeper.

Catra asks Adora about their childhood, trying to understand how Adora could just throw it all away. Adora gives a very direct and impassioned speech, she looks Catra in the eyes, trying to convince her and make her understand why leaving was the right thing to do. Catra hides her emotions, weighing Adora's answer. She doesn't agree with her sentiment, in Catra's experience good and evil are relative and exist as such everywhere. Also, she's right: we meet many people in the Horde who aren't evil. And Adora's finding the sword is one giant sinister manipulation by Light Hope. Moral grayness is a constant theme in this show. Still, this isn't really why Catra chooses to stay with the Horde.

Adora sees her explanation failing to convince Catra, so she tries reminding Catra of their deeper friendship, telling her she misses her too. Catra is temporarily taken aback at being called out before remembering to deny it. She tells Adora to get over herself, and Adora tells her she won't stop until Catra says she likes her. They flirtatiously rough house, and Catra smiles during it: yeah, she does. But she denies it anyways.

::Adora often tries to be respectful of Catra's personal space but is making an exception here: she's telling her that she finds her desirable, and if Catra wanted it, they could be together. Adora can't understand why Catra feels the need to resist this, but she knows doing it helps her friend feel wanted. Still, this shows how casually Adora views their attraction.

Yes, they should be together. And actually, they had an unspoken agreement that they would be. But Catra's not going to open herself up to that just to serve her desire. She wants more from Adora, for Adora to show her that she really does see her, and cares about her. If she did, maybe Catra could open up about some of her pain. Being intimate without doing that would be impossible, and so far Catra's life still isn't safe enough to risk her feelings. Adora's promotion could have meant the beginning of something new between them, where they worked together to build a more secure future together where Catra didn't have to be fearful all the time. But instead, Adora left her.

So begins the second memory. The two girls, now teenagers, compete against each other in sparring. It's clear they are flirting, and neither is fighting all out. When Catra taunts Adora by putting her finger to her forehead, she shows how much better she is at fighting. She full heartedly laughs, Adora enjoys this and then throws a purposefully weak strike to restart the fight. When Adora seemingly turns the tables through brute force, Catra plays hurt to exploit Adora's naiveness. As Adora tries to show concern, Catra turns the tables back. She wants to teach Adora a lesson: that not everyone will play fair, as Catra knows all too well from SW's abuse. But Lonnie interrupts her. Catra doesn't appreciate this and makes quick work of Lonnie, showing just how good she is. Adora attacks, getting the predetermined win. Catra doesn't enjoy the beat down but accepts Adora's help up. She heads to Lonnie as Adora receives compliments from their commander.

As Catra confronts Lonnie, she tells Catra "you were playing dirty, I was just leveling the field". Catra will hear these words again when she leaves Adora behind in frustration near the end of the episode. They are significant: these are stereotypical views forced on Catra, and those views ignore that Catra was just doing something she felt was important: teaching Adora about the harsh realities that exist in the world. Real enemies don't play by the rules, and will be unpredictable.

As Catra’s anger rises at this, Adora puts her hand on Catra's shoulder to calm her down, then compliments Catra on her fighting skills. Catra ever so casually tosses the comforting hand aside. She's saying 'I can handle my emotions without your help, but thanks for asking.' As she tells Adora she let her win, Adora tries to tell if Catra really is ok.

Thus starts one of cutest exchanges between the two of them: as Catra tries to explain why she lets Adora win, Adora puts on her sideways 'you like me' grin while she playfully denies that Catra let her win. Catra gives a very animated and obviously made up explanation about not wanting to have people expect things from her. Adora grins along, and halfway through her lie Catra leans in, staring at Adora's lips before looking up into her eyes. Once again, Catra is undoing a lie by telling a truth: she let her win because she likes (loves) her. But it's only a half truth, once again...

Adora accepts the explanation, keeping her sideways grin: 'it's so cute how you like me'. Catra's explanation done, Adora moves on, wanting to catch up with their unit. Catra lets her do so while excusing herself. As Adora leaves, a huge amount of meaningful information passes across Catra's face…

First, Catra feels bad about having to lie to Adora, and it shows. Then, as Adora leaves to socialize, disappointment and rejection shows: Catra had hoped Adora might look deeper, and try to see the deeper truth. As Adora turns away and leaves we see a look of total love and adoration on Catra's face. She really, really loves Adora. She's the light of her life, a real idiot no doubt but Catra will always love her for exactly who she is.

The girls remain their younger selves as the rest of the memory plays out, Adora staying to accept praise while Catra separates to deal with her internal feelings which Adora always fails to see: the hurt and aloneness she feels.

>A frustrated young Catra cries, expressing her repressed emotions. It would be easiest to assume she cries because she's sad about losing, but we have to look ahead to the next memory to find the real truth.

Catra is sad because she never had a choice. SW took that choice from her, and while Catra is happy to let Adora win because of the love she feels for her, it hurts that she never really got to decide. And Adora doesn't see that, doesn't see the pain Catra is bearing, hiding. And so she cries for that, too. The one person who should love her doesn't really see her. As she looks up in the mirror to see herself, since no one else in her life seems to see her pain, she sees her present tearful self looking back. The pain of the past is real in the present, and while she's older now and won't let herself give in to tears, she feels the pain as she did back then. (pic 1, below) She sees the tears and it snaps her back to her present self, totally unnerved by the simulation as the security detects her and attacks. A fearful Catra screams, wanting help, wanting Adora.

>Adora snaps back to herself, having been participating in the replay of the memory post Catra excusing herself. She tries to run to help Catra, full of worry. She sees a terrified Catra trapped by the spider. As the spider begins to drag her away the two girls lock arms, trying to free Catra. But it's too strong, and as we see their grip start to slip, Catra looks to Adora wanting, pleading for help. As Catra is pulled away, Adora feels helpless, knowing she couldn't help her friend. She thumps her head in frustration that she wasn't there for Catra.

The scene speaks to an obvious truth: Adora has never quite been there enough for Catra. She's always less present, less aware of Catra's reality than she could have been. But since Catra was experiencing a painful memory when this happened, her reaction shows her vulnerable emotional state, and so she called out for help: Catra just wants to feel safe, for Adora to be there to help her. But she wasn't.

>As Catra is dragged away, she feels helpless, and calls out mournfully for Adora. But she's long gone; Catra is alone and scared, as usual. She screams out her frustration, the realization that she’s never gotten the help she needed, she always ends up alone. She cries tears for the suffering and anguish she feels from that. (pic 2, below) It’s a moment that shows us the real inner Catra: She feels deeply, whether it be her desire to be seen, loved by Adora, or the fear she feels in this moment and others. She tries her best to act confident in herself, but it's a lie: she needs support, yet is left behind by everyone, including Adora. She was willing to bear her pain for Adora's love, but she has become increasingly aware of how tenuous that really was growing up.

>Catra digs deep, like she's always done. She will handle this, won't take the abuse lying down. She shifts her mentality to being the survivor, the person who has survived years of abuse. She frees herself and gets to her feet, accessing her foe, determined to defeat it. She attacks, using her anger to deal damaging blows, seeking to destroy her enemy, to make sure she survives. She stands back, confident she's won, proud of herself for it. She doesn't quit, she always perseveres against those who want to destroy her. (pic 3)

Adora shows up, finishing the monster. Catra doesn't drop her mentality, this person who has lived a separate life from Adora and survived on her own, doing the hard things like winning fights and resisting Shadow Weaver's abuse.

Adora walks forward, seeing Catra's anger, determination. She looks blankly, trying not to upset Catra. She's trying to get a read on Catra but not having any luck, so she's being cautious. She asks if Catra is ok, casually pulling webbing off Catra's shoulder, trying to exist in her physical space without upsetting Catra further. "I had it" says Catra, not dropping her fighter stance, mentality at all. Catra is very much feeling the aloneness of her life from everyone, including Adora.

Adora tries to casually put aside Catra's assertion that she had it, she smiles diplomatically. She tries again to touch Catra, to break down her animosity and get her to calm down. It doesn't work. "We need to make sure we stick together from now on." As Adora touches Catra, she tenses, uncomfortable. Catra has strong touch aversion, and Adora knows this but she also knows doing it sometimes helps Catra shift her mentality, so she's trying to get Catra to connect emotionally, to get her to accept care.

"Will you stop telling me what to do?" An exasperated Catra says. We see a look of total dismay cross Adora's face. She's not understanding why Catra has so much animosity in this moment. (pic below)

As Adora looks at Catra, she hunches her body, looking misunderstood and isolated. Adora has consistently failed to see Catra's emotional states and so Catra is feeling more and more apart; that the mentality of the survivor she's feeling now is the right one. Adora didn't really help her at all growing up, and she doesn't see her for who she really is, either. Adora always took the easy explanation, like saying that Catra did things for her because she liked her. Never looking deeper, trying to see her struggle. And so Catra doesn't drop her combative pose, she stays in it because she feels in control, less vulnerable.

As for the words "stop telling me what to do", that's an essay in itself but consider: just now Adora became frustrated when she lost Catra, and now tells her they need to stay together. But they didn't, they never did, and even when they are together Adora is no real help to Catra. So she reacts in anger to Adora trying to direct her. After all, in the next scene we will see that Adora leads Catra into danger, and then doesn't really help her as she gets abused. Adora is no great leader, not according to Catra's experience.

::Adora is having a total loss, here, as she tries to understand Catra, why she's angry at her: It's because she has never really known this 'survivor' side of Catra. Adora wants to comfort her and calm her down, but Catra isn't having it. I think this is when we first see Adora begin to realize that there is something is very wrong with her friend that she has completely failed to see, and she's deeply worried by it. (pic 2)

[pic cation: Adora can't read Catra's emotions, Adora realizes Catra is deeply angry. Outside SW’s chamber, Adora wants to take Catra’s hand.]

Adora loves Catra, but can't seem to get through to her: Catra is holding herself apart from Adora. Again, Catra pushes Adora's hand aside, frustrated. She expresses her exasperation at the situation, saying she's sick of what's going on. Adora follows along, confused. As Catra seemingly purposefully leaves her behind, Adora demands to know what Catra's problem is, saying that she was trying to save her. Catra looks down at her confrontationally, frustrated with Adora's lack of vision. "For the last time, I don't need you to save me. I've been doing just fine on my own. No thanks to you." Uh oh.

The words "no thanks to you" are especially cutting. Adora has totally failed to see the struggles Catra had all her life, she didn't understand the hurt and abuse Catra was fighting against. And so Catra did it all on her own, protecting herself and trying to remain strong. Her love of Adora might have helped her have hope, but fundamentally Catra overcame the abuse by not giving up on herself, believing she had worth, and not letting others tear her down.

Adora runs to Catra's side, taking her arm in one hand. Feeling her friend becoming increasingly distant from her, Adora tries authentically telling Catra her feelings, hoping to make her friend see her desire to help and understand her. Adora explains that she's sorry for leaving and that she did it because she couldn't stand the war the Horde has pursued. Her next words are telling: "but I never wanted to leave you". 'Want' is an important word in this series, and it comes up again in season 5 when Catra asks Adora "what do you want, Adora?”. By choosing to leave the Horde, Catra feels that Adora wanted that more than she wanted what they had together. Also, promises are not something you're supposed to break over a 'want'. And Adora so casually breaking their promises makes Catra think she doesn't matter to Adora. It's not the truth, but this belief still determines her reaction in this moment. Even though Adora dearly loves Catra, including at this point in the story, she hasn't shown it in a way that Catra can see as meaningful. As Adora finishes saying this, Catra looks back, feeling alone and unwanted, seemingly thinking 'but you did leave me, Adora.'

Adora tries to appeal to Catra to join the rebellion with her. Then she says "I know you're not a bad person, Catra. You don't belong with the Horde." Catra must be thinking 'Ok so at what point did you become the authority on whether someone is good or bad, Adora?' Adora has shown no interest in understanding Catra's position, she treated her as an enemy without fail since she left her, literally in every single case including at Princess Prom when Catra was trying so hard to romance her. And Catra doesn't accept Adora's naive black and white view of the world. Think about it: when Adora defects she begins treating all Horde with hostility, including her dearest friend, she judges them all and doesn’t even try to see them as the complicated people that they are. So when she suggests Catra doesn't belong with the Horde, Catra looks back at her, feeling totally isolated from Adora. Even though Adora's plea is earnest, Catra declines it.

>As the next memory begins, we see Adora now has both hands on Catra's arm, she's desperately trying to hold on to her bond with Catra and show her desire to fix things between them. Catra doesn't drop her wary demeanor at all, and Adora looks lost and anxious over this as a young Catra runs by.

The memory starts out full of childhood innocence as the two of them play together. When the girls see that the Black Garnet chamber is open, young Adora remarks "we're definitely not allowed in there." Young Catra looks at Adora, seemingly asking if she wants to go in, trusting her. Young Adora runs off, and Catra follows her in. Yes, Catra participates in the decision, but she's not the one who runs towards the chamber, and that's important to what happens next.

A worried (adult) Adora looks to her friend who seems so distant, stoic. Anxiously, Adora tells Catra "You don't have to go in there." Adora knows what happens next is very bad, that this is a hurtful memory for Catra. As an unwavering Catra begins to walk towards the chamber, Adora looks down at Catra's hand. [pic above] She wants desperately to reach out and take it, to hold Catra back from this terrible moment, to tell her she's sorry for messing up. Adora knows now that she screwed up, that she's let Catra down, somehow more than she ever realized. She doesn't know what to do about it… she follows Catra inside.

The young girls explore, Catra touches the black garnet and gets shocked. Adora has second thoughts, she realizes they're trespassing.. but of course, SW returns, so they try to hide. As SW takes off the mask, Adora cries out, taken aback... young Catra looks at her in dismay. She's about to pay for Adora's mistake with a lifetime of suffering. Offended, SW tells them to "Get out!" but rethinks. She puts the mask back on, and decides to use this moment to instead abuse the girls and use the crime of their trespass against them. As SW tells Catra to stay, Adora turns around, seeing that Catra is caught, and she's scared for her friend. She really did make a poor decision, and as a highly empathetic person, what happens to Catra scars Adora, too.

Held powerless by magic, Catra tries to explain that they were just playing. SW's words to her set the stage for a lifetime of physical and psychological abuse: SW leans over her menacingly, telling her "Insolent child, I've come to expect such disgraceful behavior from you, but I will not allow you to drag Adora down as well." Again, it's not Catra who decided to go in, so it's really not her fault. SW disparages her and heaps blame upon her for Adora's bad choice, ignoring the truth.

Adora weakly tries to protect Catra, saying "SW, it wasn't her fault. It was my idea too." It's an understandable response, as they're just little kids. Still, Adora could have taken the blame for their trespass, since she led Catra inside. But it's about to get a lot more hurtful for Catra...

SW's voice echoes through Catra's head as she trembles in terror: "You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me. I've kept you around this long because Adora was fond of you but if you ever do anything to jeopardize her future, I will dispose of you myself. Do you understand ?" Catra trembles in fear, her eyes unfocused, the room empty but for SW menacing her. She's in a dissociative state, terrified and helpless. I think some people probably feel like this must have been a idle threat, but it isn't: SW abuses Catra many times after this for her mistakes. And the depiction of the dissociative state helps us understand just how damaging it was. While Adora seemingly goes on to not realize the importance of this memory, for Catra it is formative to her entire life.

Again, Adora tries weakly to stop what's happening, putting herself between them. She tells SW "please, stop" then looks over at Catra, full of concern. Running over to SW, she tells her "she didn't mean to". This is so hurtful, as young Catra is very smart. Catra knows Adora has blown it again, after all, what is it that she "didn't mean to" do when it was Adora's idea to trespass? Adora isn't getting the magnitude of the situation, and Catra is very much left to fend for herself.

SW then does a very insidious thing to Adora, a very directed abuse that's meant to work against her personality and empathetic reactions to others pain. She tells her "Adora, you must do a better job of keeping her under control. Do not let something like this happen again..." SW follows this up with years of manipulation to make Adora even more susceptible to abuse. But in this moment, SW again heaps the blame for Adora's mistake onto Catra, who did nothing wrong. For Catra, she comes to believe that what she did doesn't even matter, nobody cares what the truth was. Even Adora. But for Adora, the hurt goes deep as well. She made a bad decision, her friend gets hurt for it, and she never comes clean... instead, she's told she has to do a better job of controlling her friend, and that she has to be perfect so that it doesn't happen again. It's a deep and hurtful moment for Adora, just like it is for Catra. But the hurt is much less direct, and more sneaky. Nonetheless, Adora struggles with this moment, this abuse of her, in the most intimate and painful ways all throughout the series.

Young Catra watches on as SW completes her manipulation of Adora. For Catra, she's left with the feeling that nothing she does matters, she was blamed for something she didn't even do. And Adora seemingly took the easy out, spreading the blame. But she doesn't realize this moment is so insidious for Adora, that it attacks and manipulates her at her emotional need to help others. From this moment on, Adora is afflicted with a desperate fear that she can't protect others, and must lead perfectly so they don't get hurt. This internal conflict erodes Adora's self worth, and causes her great emotional pain throughout the series. Catra, instead, believes she is being told she has no worth, and isn't even allowed to make her own decisions. It's hurtful, and it's part of why she tensed so badly at Adora for trying to tell her what to do earlier. We see this realization cross young Catra's face: she feels forgotten in this moment.

We see the young girls walking away from SW's chamber, Adora with her hand around Catra's shoulder. This comfort is not enough... Catra really needed Adora to stand up for her there, to come clean, and she didn't. Trying to comfort her now seems hollow. As they flash to their present selves, Catra knocks Adora's arm aside in frustration, accusing her of needing to play the hero.

Adora responds, saying she was only trying to protect her. Catra's next words tell the real truth of their childhood: "You never protected me! Not in any way that would put you on SW's bad side!" Adora at first chafes at this statement, feeling like she did try to protect her, then crosses over to confusion at the strength of Catra's assertion. Catra is telling Adora she was blind to her pain. She wasn't there for her, and this is very much at the core of Catra's disappointment with Adora: the fact that she never stayed, never tried to understand. Adora let SW control her, make her ambitious, and so Catra was put to the side of that, and over time Adora grew apart from her. Catra’s exact words here are important: she says that Adora ‘plays’ at being the hero, yet always seemingly protected her status as the favorite, never standing up to SW and risking harm onto herself in order to save Catra from pain.

And so, the fact that out of seemingly out of nowhere, Adora decides to risk everything and defect in order to fight for people she doesn't even know, insults Catra. Adora abandons and consequently fights against her own people, leaving Catra behind, unilaterally treating her as an enemy. Never, in their whole lives, did Adora ever fight for Catra, only offering affection afterwards to make up for the cruelties that happened to Catra. So no, Catra doesn't want Adora to save her, or her sympathy, when she seemingly cared so little about her pain. Adora was no hero to her.

Now an obvious question might be: if the manipulation is that Adora is supposed to protect and control Catra, then shouldn't she have had to see SW abuse Catra for it to work? The first part of the answer is that it was never really about that, once the idea was put in Adora’s head, SW used it to manipulate her further into a mentality where Adora would accept praise, promotion on her path to becoming a force captain.

The other is that when someone is being hurt like Catra was in that moment... if the one person in the world who is supposed to get it doesn't get it... then it becomes very hard to ever bring it up to them again. It's a specific type of hurt and abandonment: for Catra, she goes on to believe that this is her burden, that somehow she alone is supposed to learn these hard lessons. And so she doesn't tell Adora about the abuse. Also, keep in mind that they are small children, and Catra doesn't want Adora to hurt like she does... so she's actually protecting her, in her mind. But the fact that time goes by and Adora never seemed to care, to stop and see Catra's pain, was very hurtful to her. And Catra’s feelings of betrayal at Adora’s not seeing the hurt are justified: in episode 1, we see Adora watch SW menace Catra, then happily run off to accept her promotion, only remembering to check on Catra as an afterthought. Catra needed Adora's support, and never really got it.

[pic caption: (left to right) Adora’s apparent willful ignorance of the abuse.]

So Catra believes she learns these hard lessons so Adora won't have to, but is left alone in her pain. This also means that SW specifically abused Catra at times and in places so Adora wouldn't be aware, which again, tells us it was never really about making Adora responsible for Catra's decisions. No, the reasons were much darker, and Catra bore it all alone.

The girls flash to their younger selves, and Catra accuses Adora: "Admit it, you love being her favorite." Catra is telling Adora that she was disappointed and hurt that Adora kept accepting praise and privilege from SW, after that moment when she so clearly should have seen how SW abused her, and the maliciousness of the death threat. In Catra’s mind, Adora could have rejected SW. As painful as it is for a small child to be without any parents, it would have been the right thing to do, for Catra. SW was no good to Catra, and they could have shared the pain of being orphans who only had each other, but instead Catra ended up bearing all of the abuse while Adora was given privilege.

Adora denies this assertion, and yet she did accept the privilege SW offered her. Catra's next words show how ignorant Adora was to the realities of their lives as they flash back to their present selves: "Oh yeah? When you left, who do you think took the fall for you? Who was protecting me then ?" Catra bore all the abuse and punishment for Adora's leaving, and Adora wasn't there to see it. Catra did this bravely for Adora, in fact, up until before Princesse Prom, Catra did everything she could to cover for Adora, just like she asked, protecting her, hoping she'd come back to her. But Adora shows no understanding at all for what Catra went through, she didn't even think about what must have been happening to her. Adora has never taken the time to think about how her actions affect Catra's life.

Adora counters, suggesting that Catra could leave the Horde, and therefore get away from SW's abuse. Catra just glares back at her, disappointed. Catra knows running from the abuse won't solve anything.

::What this comes down to is a totally different understanding of the world. For Adora, she thinks she became a hero for leaving the Horde, and becoming She-ra. She doesn't realize she was lucky to fall into the situation she did, with Bow and Glimmer helping her gain acceptance and protecting her. She's totally unaware that the reality that her becoming She-ra is a manipulation born out of evil intent. For Catra, she's always known that the world is harsh, and that bad people exist who will try to destroy you. She's not afraid to fight, she's had no choice learning these harsh truths. It's a jaded view that negatively affects her perceptions of people, but it prepares her for the worst, and so she relies on it. So when Adora suggests she run from it, she rejects her as naive. They flash back to their younger selves after Adora suggests Catra can leave like she did, and Catra accusingly points out that she doesn't need to follow Adora around. That they're children is relevant to the previous memory where Adora led Catra into danger, and then didn't protect her. Catra isn't interested in following Adora blindly after she's put her in danger so badly in the past.

Flashing back present selves, Catra tells Adora she doesn't want to leave. As she says this her face conveys her anger at the world, her drive to face SW instead of flee. She says "I'm not afraid of SW anymore, and I'm a better force captain than you ever would have been." Let's take this in parts: Catra won't run from her abuser, she's already planning to take her down. Doing so is important to Catra, as it fixes her world in an important way. And that Adora can't see this just shows how far apart they are now. In Catra's mind, Adora was supposed to stay, and as they rose to power together, they would have supplanted SW, fixing Catra's world. The two of them would have been stronger in the end. But Adora did leave, so Catra impatiently tries to get Adora to see that she won't just run away. If Adora doesn't want to help Catra overcome this evil, then she'll do it on her own.

Her disappointment in Adora for abandoning this fight is apparent, what comes to mind is when Catra calls Adora weak in the Sea Gate episode. And now Catra knows she's got the power to do this, she's a force captain, and if she can just find a reason to depose SW she knows she has the station and fighting ability to take her down. She always knew she could lead, but was happy to let Adora have success because she really didn't want that responsibility. So she points out her superiority, not to show that she's better than Adora, but to tell Adora she was blind to Catra's worth, and to be hurtful to Adora for abandoning her.

They flash back to their child selves: Adora looks at Catra, hurt and confused "You always said you didn't care about things like that." Adora is feeling hurt by the idea that she was unknowingly taking advantage of Catra, because Catra has seemily just told her she was lying.

Now, this next part is important, and it's important that we are seeing Catra's reaction as her child self: Catra looks sad and lonely as Adora finishes her question, and she's crying. Something adult Catra would never let herself do. So we're seeing a much more authentic expression of Catra's hurt and emotions than if it were her present self. What you need to understand here is that those emotions don't really match her words... Catra tells her "Well I was lying, obviously!" But her face says she's angry and hurt at Adora for not seeing her pain.

As she delivers those words her face is full of accusation and insult, she's being dramatic, something we will see Catra do time and time again. She stares down Adora, eyes scrunched up, showing Adora how betrayed she felt by her insensitivity. Then we get sadness, disappointment. Finally, we get a lonely kind of furious sorrow: all that time feeling alone and Adora didn't bother to understand is written on her face.

The tears are still flowing, but as she turns away they shift back to their present selves. Adult Catra looks totally alone, heartbroken.

Ok but how we REALLY know Catra isn't telling the truth is this: almost word for word, this moment exists in episode 1. ANY time you see that happen in this show, you need to look back to find the meaning of it.

>We will need to look in totality of this scene in episode 1: An excited Catra pounces on Adora, asking her what SW said. She sees the badge and takes it. Here's a funny thing, because we see Catra jump on Adora you might think Catra is always like this, she just comes into Adora's space as she pleases. But once Catra has the badge, we see no anger or jealousy. Just total wonder. She shows nothing but exuberation and happiness for Adora's promotion (pic 1, lower left fyi).

Catra knew this could be the turning point she's been waiting for, that Adora was due for promotion. And so she's jumping all over Adora, full of joy. We only see her attitude change once Adora tells her SW isn't letting her go on missions. And so, we can infer a lot of information from this...

Catra expected this moment to change their lives for the better. That Adora's rising in rank means freedom, the beginning of something new. Some many new things, in Catra's case. But Catra definitively shows us in this scene that she doesn't desire the success for herself. She only shows happiness for Adora, for them together, and she's ecstatic. (pic 1, fyi)

This, in Catra's mind, probably means the start of their romantic lives. If Adora is the force captain that brings them to victory, SW won't be able to just trample all over their lives. Catra can begin letting down some walls, maybe even let Adora pursue her romantically. If they're together, and Adora is on her side because of that, she becomes safe from her abuser. It's a much better outcome than trying to fight SW, but that's not how the story goes. No, Adora leaves her instead. How's that for emotional whiplash? All of these truths are laid bare in s3ep5, when we see Catra's perfect reality, when she and Adora are together romantically. Catra only wants to be safe and to be loved, but when Adora leaves her she loses trust in the goodness of Adora, and in people in general.

> Adora tells Catra she shouldn't be surprised she's been cut of of the mission because she's so rude to SW, to which Catra responds by calling Adora a people pleaser, then storming off in anger...

::Note, as this is important: Adora is taking SW’s side, and not Catra’s, which is entirely opposite of their early childhood memory of Octavia. It shows how Adora had started listening to the negative judgements others placed on Catra...

>Adora goes after Catra, finding her sulking on the roof. Catra is angry, betrayed by the world, at the injustice that SW is in her life. Adora asks "I didn't even think you wanted to be a force captain?" Catra tossed the badge at her, saying she doesn't. Then she folds her body up, holding herself. Adora sees this, but doesn't touch her. She's being careful to respect Catra's boundaries. But the anger Catra feels here isn't about being denied the chance to be a force captain, it's at all the hurt that SW has dealt her and continues to do so. And Adora doesn't see that, which disappoints Catra. But, she's unable to verbalize it herself, she is too insecure in her emotional vulnerability, so she lets it slide.

What we have here is two different instances of the same question with two different answers, but in both cases Catra is telling the truth. In episode 1, it's the truth that she doesn't care about being a force captain because of her love for Adora, and the promise, in her mind, that they will eventually be together. In episode 11, Catra then says she lied, and this now is also true: Catra did think about what she was going through, all the pain and sacrifices she made for Adora, which were done in the name of love. But Adora doesn't love her the way that Catra loves Adora, instead leaving her behind. And so now that Adora didn't ever see how excellent a person Catra actually was, how dedicated to her she is, and the pain she was willing to bear for her sake, it does matter. Because that's shitty of her, and so now Catra will survive on her own by her own excellence, her strength that Adora never stopped to see. So Catra is guilting Adora, trying to make her see how blind and unfeeling she is.

>Back to ep11: Catra tries to walk away from Adora, who desperately chases her, trying to understand why Catra is becoming so distant, wanting her to tell her what's wrong. She reaches out for Catra's shoulder in one last attempt to get Catra to talk, she knows touching Catra could maybe get her to be more open. But the truth is Adora has been far too easy on Catra, she needs to be more forceful if she wants Catra to talk, which she later comes to understand... she's been coddling Catra, and so Catra is allowed to wallow in her unhealthy mental states.

Catra takes Adora's hand, forcefully holding it away from her and delivering a hurtful line: "Why do you think I gave the sword back to you in the fright zone? I didn't WANT you to come back, Adora!" This hits Adora like a load of bricks, her dismay is evident. And it's all true, which is the sad part. Catra was already preparing to cut ties with Adora, as even by that point she had come to a realization, a decision: if Adora doesn't want to be with her, then she'll do it herself. She will do the hard things on her own.

She turns away from Adora, looking hurt and betrayed. And Adora is at a complete loss, she doesn't know this side of Catra, this part of her that has survived hardship all these years... she lets her leave, not knowing what to do.

Adora is then attacked by the security, which takes up her time. As that happens, we see memories only shown to Catra. Catra runs, emotionally overwhelmed as all the unfair judgements, the abuse, and hollow apologies ring out around her. All the years of frustration and sadness weigh on her, she tries to keep it together, lashing out at the holograms. She falls to her knees, fighting back emotion and trying not to cry, her inner, vulnerable self is near the surface, and she's trying not to break down in tears over all of the hurt she's had to bear...

… and then she hears soft crying...

She turns to see her younger, tiny self, crying. Then, a tiny Adora joins the tiny Catra. Unlike the other memories, Catra never flashes into her younger self, she just watches...

The tiny Adora pulls the blanket down, Catra hisses at her... Adora sits down next to her tenderly. And we finally get the promise, the two parts that Adora has so tragically broke...

Adora tells her "It doesn't matter what they do to us, you know? You look out for me, and I look out for you... nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other." The tiny Catra looks at Adora, wanting to trust her, to believe in her. As she says the question, present Catra echos it: "You promise ?" This was a sacred moment that gave Catra hope as a young orphan, that maybe she would be ok.

And so, the present Catra echoes it. Adora tells her she promises, as the skeptical present Catra looks on. Tiny Catra is still sad, insecure... she hugs Adora, needing this. Adora suggests they go back out to play... and we see tiny Catra look at her, still afraid, reluctant, wanting to stay. But she decides to trust Adora, and so they walk out, holding hands. Then something unique happens. Tiny Catra stops to look up at her present self: note, this is entirely a unique moment in the simulation, it never happened in reality... and yet Catra is given this moment...

The innocent child stares up Catra, making her see her. It's a look full of meaning, it doesn't carry any specific emotion... only innocence. Catra is having an inner child moment. That most deep and innocent part of her, her vulnerable self who feels love, is communicating with her. It's asking her to see it's vulnerability, and it's pain. Catra sees this, all of the pain Adora has caused her, the breaking of the promise, the promise that this innocent part of her was holding on to desperately with hope. She is forced to acknowledge Adora's disloyalty to her, her carelessness. Catra is reflecting on how she did her absolute best to keep that promise, even after Adora failed to look out for her in SW's chamber. Catra was so loyal and so good to Adora all of their lives; she made sure Adora had a good life, and she played by SW's rules so Adora could be the chosen one, wanting to protect her. All in the hope that they would be together, and that their love was real. But Adora couldn't even do that much, she left her. And Adora doesn't understand her, she doesn't even seem to miss her.

[pic 9: Broken Promises, Catra’s inner child, The Hero goes Her Own Way].

Present Catra watches her tiny self leave, coming to the tough realization: that she's never been able to trust Adora, not really. Her love isn't reciprocated, not by her standards.

…. which makes Adora a deeply unsafe person to Catra...

Catra survived SW's abuse, learning to believe in herself, protect herself because no one else would. All while keeping this hope of love in her heart, this vulnerable core of herself that has tenderness and loves Adora, and needs love back. But, her need for love goes to such a deep vulnerability that giving in to it and then again being rejected or forgotten by Adora would simply destroy her. SW held the threat of death over Catra’s head her entire life, and Catra resisted it, got through it by being tough and trusting in herself. So now she sees she can't trust Adora: everything that happened since she left her behind, the fact that Adora always treats her as an enemy, that she seems to show no lingering desire for her, and doesn't even seem to miss her while replacing her with new friends, seems to confirm her worst fears. Fears that have been building over the years, starting when Adora broke their promise in SW's chamber, and then as Adora pursued her success while accepting praise and privilege from SW, ignoring the abuse Catra bore because of it. She decides she can't trust Adora. Love is a lie, a weakness. A weakness that could destroy her last bit of individuality, and belief in the world.

And so, Catra, The Survivor, makes the decision... in her mind it's the brave one, just like way back when and she decided to bravely stand up to SW's abuse and not let it destroy her: she will stand up to the threat that is the weakness of her love for Adora. Adora is selfish, she doesn't deserve Catra's love. She was stupid to believe that love was even possible, for someone like her… who has always been ignored, and told she is unworthy of praise or even existence. There's only one thing left for her to do: she will be alone, strong on her own, for herself.

Her gaze hardens... that part of her that has made sure she survived SW's abuse, and made sure she won fights when she was threatened, is now the decider. It will protect her from her vulnerability, and reject Adora for her. I suppose you might be confused as to what I'm referring, or maybe not... If you haven't had to fight for your life, whether physically, mentally, or otherwise, you might not know this side of yourself well. But we all have it, it's The Survivor. And while I knew mine would protect me, I didn't accept it as my real self, I didn't accept its necessary but vicious deeds as my own. This is very much how Catra is, and as the series goes on she puts this survivor in charge of more and more decisions, we watch her deteriorate as this part of her gets out of control, protecting her from darkness with more darkness. All the while her vulnerable inner self suffers, watching the horrible deeds and becoming more and more alone, desperate for affection.

>Adora is outnumbered, eventually ending up hanging from the cliff's edge by spider webs. She hears Catra return, dealing with the spiders. Adora looks up, hopeful because Catra has returned...

Catra saunters in. Let me say a few things before we go through this part: Catra is about to say a lot of things that aren't really true. They are instead meant to be hurtful to Adora, Catra is being intentionally mean. We shouldn't take her exact words as her authentic beliefs, because they're not... no, Catra is doing what she believes she has to so she can be apart for Adora, and be safe from her. The truth is, Catra needs to be away from Adora. She's too scared of the vulnerability that is her love for Adora, because Adora hasn't shown her that she cares. And she can't do that by defecting, no, she must stay with the Horde. It's the only thing she feels there is left for her to do.

Now, let's go through this: and heads up: I'm getting at something very powerful that's going on here that you may not have realized. This speech is, in fact, a heroic moment. A heroic moment... for Catra. Not Adora, for Catra. And you just need to open your ears to hear it...

"Hey Adora."

🎶 is sad

"Catra! Help me, please!"

"This thing wouldn't work for me if I tried, would it? It only works for you... then again, you're special... that's what Shadow Weaver always said..."

🎶 is melancholy

"Catra, what are you doing??"

"Ah, ya know, it all makes sense now... you've always been the one holding me back... you wanted me to think I needed you, you wanted me to feel weak."

🎶 has even tone

"Every hero needs a sidekick, right?"

"Catra that's not how it was.."

🎶 rises, falls, sad (“Promise” begins playing)

*Catra chuckles* "The sad thing is I've spent all this time hoping you'd come back to the Horde... when really you leaving was the best thing that EVER happened to me..."

🎶 lowers, is dark, is dramatic. -Note: we see Catra seemingly become deranged as she says this line. This is Catra deceiving herself out of perceived necessity.

"I am so much stronger than anyone... ever... thought." *she cuts part of the web*

🎶 begins to rise, uplifting

"I wonder what I could have been if I'd gotten rid of you sooner." *she cuts the rest of the web, Adora falls, catching herself*

🎶 rises, is dramatic

"I'm sorry! I never meant to make you feel like you were second best. Please, don't do this."

🎶 is still rising, uplifting

*Catra stands proudly, nobly, looking at the sword. She looks down at Adora, then she casually tosses the sword past her...

🎶 is rising, hopeful, heroic.

"Bye Adora, I really am going to miss you..."

🎶 is heroic, violins now playing, adding depth

*Catra turns and walks away from Adora, proudly*

🎶 has risen to its height, crests, is heroic.

"Catra... Catra, no!!"

🎶 remains high, cresting, heroic

*Adora cries, sad, confused by Catra's leaving her...*

🎶 crests again, fades out...

Ok, so... let's talk about what just happened here. The undeniable conclusion is that this was meant to be a heroic moment, and a damn heroic moment... for Catra. The writers are telling us that Catra leaving is an important part of her hero’s journey, and that it was the right thing to do. You might be wondering, how can that be? The short answer is, Catra is on a hero’s journey unlike all the other hero’s journeys normally portrayed in fiction. All of it, even her darkest deeds, all her cruelty towards Adora, will be part of a very... important... and powerful... journey. One which will forge her into a hero in this series, in her own incredible right... how this is, what she is, is yet to be revealed... but make no mistake, she's a hero. Just not the one you expect…

We see Adora open her eyes, and see Light Hope. She tells Adora to let go. She means of her emotional attachments, as we find out. Adora cries for her lost Catra, that she couldn't bring her back to her. She lets go...

BIG ASSERTION TIME: Now, I know it's a common theory that these memories were all just an elaborate manipulation by Light Hope to divide the girls from each other, but I don't agree with that. No, I believe this was a memory journey guided by Catra, subconsciously, to help her tell Adora why she couldn't come with her, why she has to be apart.

Take for instance the memories and visions that Adora sees when she's on her way to the Heart of Etheria in season 5: this system exists apart from Light Hope, who dies at the end for season 4. This simulation comes from somewhere more primal: in my belief, it is the deep magic of Etheria being visualized through the First One's tech. We see the simulation show Catra the promise memory, something Adora isn't shown at all, and then allows her to see her inner child's hurt. Something deeper is going on here, and you should consider how strongly the magic of Etheria is resonating with Catra when it does. Because the magic of Etheria will again speak directly to Catra, this isn't the last time... In short, the magic helps the two of them to understand each other, because Catra is an important part of Adora's true She-ra journey.

I also believe that a theme of this series is that abusers, like L. Hope, are not perfect vindictive manipulators. They are flawed, and L. Hope in particular, I believe, is no genius: she fails time and time again. That L. Hope uses the moment to get Adora to let go is her using the moment to her advantage, she didn't play ultimate control over it. She just piggy backed on Catra's hurt to do it. So that last memory really was for Catra... Furthermore, I simply cannot believe L.Hope would understand the concept of the inner child… as she can't even understand sarcasm.

But now, because of this, Adora now knows of Catra's pain... and this is the beginning of Adora's long journey back to Catra, of her repairing their bond…

Let's address the obvious counterpoint: Adora now knows that Catra is hurt, but she doesn't yet understand why. And it's not really her fault, as Catra doesn't know how to talk about her feelings, among other things. But it's apparent that Adora doesn't remember these crucial memories as well as Catra does, even though they were critical in her development as well. Adora is a mess of emotions, just like Catra, and (if) she has ADHD, it might be one reason why she doesn't really get Catra. Especially if her parental figure has been manipulating it against her. Adora very much vibrates between stimuli anxiously, so SW might have made her forgetful by distraction over time. Also, the way in which Adora treats Catra as an enemy when she doesn't accept Adora’s (totally rushed, afterthought, and hollow) ultimatum that she defect with her, is a reflection of Adora's ingrained Horde war training… this is something she has to unlearn, as it is wrong. But Adora is a good person, she really, truely, is, because Adora never stops trying to make it better. And so, she slowly, but surely, comes to understand Catra’s trauma.

We get one last scene of Catra returning to the fright zone. We get to see Catra's truth here: She walks, as if she's not even there, she's deadened by the sorrow and the inevitability of what her life will now be: one of hard work, and zero joy. She will try her best to stand on her own, and put Adora out of her heart, slamming its doors shut against love. It doesn't work, but that's what she's trying to do, nonetheless. This is the beginning of a profound depression that builds over the next 3 seasons, and combined with new traumas, nearly takes her life.

But the tech Catra has brought back will end up giving her what she needs to face down and depose SW, just like she needed...

::Here is another complicated twist that's so essential to She-ra as a series: Catra, in fact, protects Adora by taking down SW. Catra may go on to command the Hordes forces so effectively that it pushes the Princess alliance harder than it's ever been pushed before, but her deposing SW is extremely important in the story. She both removes SW’s ability to attack Adora, and then denies her any sorcerous power by taking the Black Garnet from her, since SW needs an external source to draw power from in order to use her vampiric powers...

Ok so more theory time: it's a common belief that Catra stays with the Horde, and goes on to try to conquer the world out of some deep need to externally validate herself, and to prove she was the better child by beating Adora. I don't think any of these explanations are true. Catra may go on to play such a character on a surface level, but every time she professes to have any such ambitions, she is either in the presence of Adora, or under incredible stress. In the one case, she's saying those things to try to hurt Adora, and make her see how naive and foolish Adora always was, especially now that Adora thinks she can fight against her.

In the other case, it's actually her survivor mechanism trying to take over, to make her world safe. In every case where Catra says something about ambition, somewhere in that scene, Catra shows the distinct emotions of her true inner self: generally, these emotions are sorrow, fear, and loneliness. They don't exist on screen long, they are what is known as micro expressions. (See below for a short discussion of Catra’s micro expressions.)

To put it simply, the only reason Catra stays with the Horde is so she has somewhere she can be separate from her feelings and heartbreak over Adora, and then she climbs the ranks in order to find safety, first from SW, and then Hordak, once he threatens her life with his temper tantrums. That she fights against Adora is just a collateral consequence, she isn't out to get Adora, but nor does she care if Adora gets hurt, because she’s hurt her. Catra does fight against the princesses, though (including She-ra).

A core feature of Catra's character is indeed one of personal power. She's a person who is told to hurry up and die at an early age, but refused to do so. So her arc, her issue, isn't a cautionary tale about chasing validation, it's about her overcoming her fear of vulnerability and allowing herself to rely on others in a way that lets her be safe without needing to combat the darkness with more darkness. But vulnerability scares her because of the abuse she experienced.

As for validation, the only person she would want that from is Adora. This is because Catra believes in herself already: that she has a sacred right to exist, no matter what SW and others may tell her (note: Adora struggles with this, she's actually the one who seeks validation). But, she also needs love, and she is too fearful that Adora doesn't really love her and is afraid of being hurt by that. It's also why I think she's so chaotic towards Adora: her inner child tells her adult self to protect her from her love for Adora, which it tries to do, but that same child misses and needs Adora in so many ways. So she's trying to be mean to compensate for the incredible desire she feels towards Adora. I love it when Adora calls her a brat in season 5, it's such a well deserved line, mmhhmmm.

Actual discussions of how these particulars play out in the show are better left for another time, but there you have it.

Promise sidebar discussions: Catra’s micro expressions; Catra nearly dies at the Battle of Bright Moon

“White Out” microexpression discussion: [see pics below] This is the first time since the Battle of Bright Moon that Catra and Adora meet. So it's a good time to talk about Catra’s micro expressions. Picture 1: Adora says “Hey, Catra” out of the blue and Catra is completely blindsided, she figured she wouldn't be bothered out in the middle of nowhere. She's anxious and unhappy to be seeing Adora. Along with her suspicious absence the episode before in “Roll With It”, the answer is obvious: Catra has been avoiding Adora. She may have cut ties with her in “Promise”, nearly bested her at the Battle of BM, but she doesn't want to see her. She doesn't know what she feels about her.

Picture 2: Enraged monsters are decimating the base, and a battle breaks out over the corrupted disc. Catra is desperately trying to protect it, because she can control Adora if she has it... and she needs this chance to have her back. As Catra reaches to pick it up, she's facing away from everyone and so no one can see her desperation and sadness from missing Adora. (pic 2) Shortly after, we also see her clutch the disc desperately to her chest in a way that's very endearing, right before the monster attacks her and makes her drop it. Then, as she's about to die in its jaws because she doesn't want to give Adora up again, Scorpia breaks the disc and saves her life. We see in this episode as Catra completely loses track of her emotions, and now realizes she has to come to terms with the fact that she's so desperately sad from missing Adora, she was willing to die just for a chance to have her back.

Pic 3: Catra hates working for the Horde. She HATES it. She gets zero joy from the job, and she’s already figured out that Hordak will kill her if she screws up too badly. She didn't want this job, plain and simple, but now feels stuck with it. None of this is the life she wanted. Combining this knowledge against Catra’s declaration to Adora at the end of Promise, we know she's not happy that she had to go her own way...

Catra’s near death experience at the Battle of Bright Moon

At the Battle of Bright Moon, Catra leads Adora (She-ra) away. They battle, but then Catra retreats and instead starts listing out every single worst fear of failure she thinks Adora has. It's a dark moment, she's acting much like SW did to them as children, and we watch her manipulation take root in Adora. Finally, her words are too much, and as Catra looks down at Adora's (She-ra's) back, we see Adora become deranged, overcome with her fear of failing everyone... (pic1, above) she picks up a boulder and throws it directly at Catra. Catra is knocked flying, and only by the barest of margins does she keep from falling to her death. Adora nearly kills Catra. And so, as Adora drags Catra up from the cliff and slams her into the wall, we see a totally heartbroken and emotionally crushed Catra. In this moment, Catra believes all of her worst fears are confirmed: Adora only cares about being She-ra, so much so that Adora would kill her in the name of being that hero. Catra uses this moment, this belief, to justify her division from Adora. Sadly, she's wrong... she's ignoring the seriousness of the threat that the battle poses, and as Adora was facing away from her during that moment, she doesn't see the terror and desperation Adora experiences due to her cruel words…

Oh, and one more thing before we go: when Catra says “What, did you really think this was about you ?” SPOILER ALERT: It was. Because She-ra is one big Catradora story… and we love it.

As always, thanks for reading. <3

~EtheriaDearie

P.S. :: as I am new to tumblr, if you enjoyed reading this, please consider giving me a reblogg! Thanks!! 🙇💛

[flavia8]

Thoughts: Unholy Blood

Okay! Well- Unholy Blood is A Webcomic about Vampires

NOW! There is a lot of good vampire media, but in general I am pretty leery of it

Especially when it comes to anime/manga bc a lot of it I've seen/know about except for like, Hellsing (Which I love) is along the lines of Vampire Knight

(Which is not to say that all Vampire Anime/Manga/Webcomics/media in general are like that it's just v. common)

Oh- by like "that" I mean Vampire Knight has one of the Vampire love interests be the cousin of the main girl. Twilight's whole thing. Ect. That stuff. (Also, Vampire Knight is super boring and I dropped it 2 chapters in lol)

Unholy Blood is free to read on Webtoons

Aesthetically: I really like the art. The poses are dynamic, the coloring and shading is great and it's a unique style!

Some of my favorite Panels:

Storywise: It's somewhat straightforward with some nice juicy mystery bits and fun twists (that you can figure out but they're still fun)

ALSO this is spoilers kinda but! MY FAVORITE CHARACTER LIVES HELL YEAH

I don't want to say too much but it's kinda like. Taking down an MLM?

Characters: Now. I already mentioned that my favorite character lives!  So that to me is a plus. xD Each main character is multidimensional enough and goes through at least some sort of development through a variety of ways.

Generally the moves the characters make are sensible in the story and jive with their established motives

And if their motives change so does their course of action. Like, a character who has a moment of development will act in accordance with that development instead of it being dropped and retconned or ignored

Would I say the plot/writing/characters are perfect? No. But they're a solid 8/10 for me for what I read as a like a fun action revenge story that has genuine moments of depth and not just being fun fluff/entertainment.

Romance:  Spoilers ---

.

Okay. Please take what I say with some consideration for the context I have, which is being aromantic. I thought it was well developed and didn't come at the detriment of either character involved. It was nice and I actually thought it added stuff to the story and the characters.  It wasn't something I had strong feelings about at all but I could appreciate the writing for it!

Additionally - the romance does actually have an effect on the story and without it the characters and story would be v. different. Personally I think that's good as it means I didn't have to read about something that ultimately didn't matter that I just didn't really care about XD

(Just me, personally I didn't care, I'm not trying to say it was bad or anything or that nobody should or anything of the sort)

Worldbuilding and Mechanics: I thought that the worldbuilding was interesting! I also liked the abilities each character had, they were unique and fun. Additionally, though the MC is hyped up as being SUPER OP her abilities actually develop and she really does struggle in fights it feels like she should struggle in. The author does a relatively good job with scaling her development and the  difficulty of the important fights. Though it's not perfect.

A genuinely fun series! I liked it a lot and I think I will probably reread it sometime actually!

8/10

Bonus: One of my favorite panels from the series (The other ones are favorites too but I REALLY LIKE this one bc of the Composition, the colors, the shading and how well it serves to introduce the character [in context])

[sourwormsaresour]

i've seen a lot of discourse on how la squadra and team bucciarati could have worked together to take down diavolo but i just want to share my two cents on the matter.

yes, storywise it has to be team bucci vs la squadra, but i think if we tweaked the story a little bit we could make a very good reason for why they can't work together more justified. i used this in a vento aureo au i'm currently working on but i'd like to hear your thoughts on this.

what if instead of having sorbet and gelato as a part of just la squadra, we put gelato as a member of team bucciarati?

passione's culture is to be very exclusive with each other, which reflects diavolo's preference in being secretive while also making it hard for groups to work together and plan a rebellion. however, because of sorbet and gelato's rumored relationship, team bucciarati and la squadra end up being very close with each other. everything you imagined if they could have worked together in vento aureo. they talked about how the boss unfairly treats them, how they hate the drug trade, whatever. diavolo gets wind of this and fears that the more chummy they get with each other the higher the chances of them planning a takeover.

but fate would favor diavolo when sorbet and gelato secretly decide to find his identity without their respective teams knowing. gelato was found dead in his apartment by team bucciarati and sorbet was delivered to la squadra in those infamous 36 frames. both teams received the same message from the boss: either accept that they were involved in the act and take the punishment together or prove their innocence which can result in the other side getting punished instead. since neither teams were aware of their member's attempt, both sides begin assuming that the other was to blame for such a situation, that the other was the true instigator that planned it all. conspiracies were thrown and whispered within passione. rumors swirled within other gangs and even some of the law enforcement. at first, the teams tried to figure out a way to not get both of them punished and believed that neither knew what was going on. but the rumors eventually became too much.

to diavolo's pleasure, team bucciarati and la squadra begin bickering among themselves. what started as snide comments escalated to fighting matches and street violence, with teams claiming that the other side was at fault. team bucciarati thought la squadra all planned it out of anger for their lower status and gelato was coerced to protect his team. la squadra believed team bucciarati, with their better resources and higher favor, got too high on their horse and coerced sorbet to be a part of it.

but in the end, team bucciarati is able to persuade the boss that they weren't at fault for gelato's act of treason. they go off without punishment and return to the good graces of the boss, but la squadra are heavily punished and ridiculed by the rest of the syndicate. by now, the friendship that both teams had were no more. neither teams, however, have forgiven each other for throwing blame, or realized that neither were actually at fault. it didn't help that they were all too busy mourning for their lost members too.

when la squadra hears about trish and how team bucciarati was guarding her, they realize that this was their chance at not only taking her but also getting the revenge against a team they use to regard as family.

this would make it so there is a deeper reason to why team bucciarati and la squadra cannot work together. there's an element of grief and anger that is still within these team that would override reason and logic, especially given that losing a person in a tightly-knitted group just a few years ago will still be a big impact on both teams. this scenario acknowledges that team bucciarati and la squadra could have been close and could have remained close, but fate says otherwise, and how the exclusive culture of passione affects teams on this small level. dialogue between la squadra and team bucciarati during their fights can hint at this backstory to make them more emotional, more justified as to why la squadra members insist on torturing out of pleasure in some cases (formaggio trapping narancia in the bottle with a spider, pesci throwing the turtle, ghiaccio just repeatedly hitting the car mista and giorno were in, etc) rather than just commit to kill. they're not just trying to murder their former friends but drill in the suffering they had to endure. the same can apply to team bucciarati doing it back to la squadra (abbaccio stomping man in the mirror, bucciarati shredding pesci into pieces).

idk, i feel like if that small change was made, it would make the story seem more interesting.

[jeztereddin]

hiii, do tell us more about your fursonas ! what is there to know about them? if this requires an essay I'm prepared, go off please

Okay well Eddie is literally me- so ig if ya wanna know more about them ya gotta get to know me lmao besides the body ink anyways- but I already talked about that when I posted him.

Asher- I just made a recent post giveing some information on him but in short Asher was raised by an abusive mother (who was a little absalutely insane) I'm still altering his story but not much has changed or will change. He was a very sheltered child and because of this he lived his life terrified of everything not just his mother. After his death his spirit lingers where what was left of him was dumped, an abandoned playground. unable to leave because he doesn't know where his other parts are. He spends his days just wondering around aimlessly like any ghost does.

Mint- mint is a hybrid character- of 3 different things Feline/Dragonfly/Unicorn well maybe 4 with the Mint plant attached to his head. He has Autism and is a HUGE fan of my little pony, has his own ocs and everything. He gets bullied a lot for the way he talks and what he's interested in. His upper teeth sticks out constantly which is the biggest thing he is insecure about. There isn't much of a story to him he's just a character I adore.

Atmo- they're another hybrid character of mine Beetle/Dragon. I wanted to go grossly cute with them, they have a childlike personality, greeting the world with wonder and excitement. The bugs that ya see all over them is what Atmo considers their "family". What I have in mind for them storywise is that Atmo wasn't born regularly, they were essentially a test tube baby, combining the Beetle and dragon genes and because of this Atmo's insides are all twisted up and basically wrong, despite how they act Atmo is in constant pain however they never complain cause they don't know that it's not normal to feel the way they do, in short Atmo is slowly dieing and the people that brought Atmo into existence left them when they were a pretty young leaving Atmo to figure these things out all on their own aswell as struggling to find their place in the world.

[under-the-green-eyes]

Chapter 3

Storywise there isn't much to analyze cause, yeah, u guessed right, it's hot 'n' steamy time *eyebrow wiggle* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Anyway, this is the perfect starting point for my main and also personal favorite thesis. And that is to explain why Jaxx's works are just top tier BL rn and what makes them so outstanding. (I really wanted to do this for a while now cause I just ADORE her works and at least for me she's the absolute No.1) Like, I always say stuff like that with friends but I couldn't quite explain why it is the way it is. So I'm really looking forward to take a rather analytical approach to explain what exactly makes the difference. Of course, that's my subjective opinion and perception but here I'm trying to prove it based on "facts" or rather examples. I mean the ratings for it speaks for itself.

Lets divide this into the two main aspects:

1. Character Design

When I was first reading Walk On Water it was so unusual and even kinda weird for me to see all those big, bulky men. It seemed like some sort of Bara manhwa to me. No wonder I thought this way when up to this point I was coming from all these rather "stereotypical" representations in mangas etc. As long as I remember Walk On Water was one of the first manhwas being like that. Just to be clear I really don't mean to degrade those types of mangas. I'm just trying to say that as a regular yaoi reader it can be quite tiresome and predictable to see in every story the same stereotypes, regarding appearance as well as in character traits.

So for one we've got most commonly the rather "manly" (bigger, straightforward, dominant,...) seme and the more "feminine" (smaller, fragile, shy,...) uke. Here, we got for both sides those big ass men and therefore it takes a lot of more time to figure out who is who. Specifically, up until to the first intercourse. This as well is a major reason that keeps us hooked on it. Also, the whole comment section in the time period until chapter 13 proves the point. There were everywhere hints and guesses who's gonna be the seme/uke and let me tell u it was pretty much up to 50/50. To sum it up, it is just so refreshing to see for both sides these "manly" men bc that just rarely happens, tho changes can be seen, especially regarding the manhwa scene. My point is that me, as a female reader, I ain't reading BL to see some sort of substitute for a female character.

That is obviously not the one reason to break it down to. This of course only works for Under The Green Light and Walk On Water. There are manhwas which does not work like that and still they're absolute masterpieces. One current example: Dangerous Convenience Store. Absolutely gorgeous. I won't dig in any deeper but think about it.

2. Art Style

Actually, dunno exactly how to name it but her overall art style and construction of story telling. Here I will give some examples. Basic features are the actions of the characters and how they're drawn. One outstanding feature is Jaxx abilities in drawing expressions and therefore creating an IMMACULATE level of atmosphere, especially for the steamy scenes. So let's go.

Short recall to the previous argument, what it also makes it so intriguing is that the prescribed attributes are reverted here. Jin, as far as he's being the uke, is the actual dominant and straightforward part. And this is just a different level of hotness, to see the "receiving" person to express their desires, even act on without any hesitation and want it as much (here actually more lmao) than the "giving" person. Another point, she just uses so many "tropes" that are just so highly erotic: the neck kissing/biting, licking, kissing in general, biting while kissing. And all those in one chapter, u can imagine how red my fucking face was.

Also the damn dialogue, Matthew just being so damn honest and overwhelmed with the situation, having no words. And THEN Jin asking him, like I can literally HEAR him saying it. He's eating him up ALIVE and he doesn't stand a single chance. Um, can I get devoured like that as well? Then he's just being a tease. Also, pls have a look at Matthews face here, totally dazed, UGH same boy. Peak of it being their faces while having sex.

Where I am trying to get at is that is seen so rarely how they're fully enjoying it. Usually there is whining, crying and denying and rarely the uke is enjoying the sex as much as the seme. It is just so well drawn, the struggle of keeping one sane thought, the total lust overcoming him, the dazed gaze and the furrowed brows. PERFECTION.