#i'm sorry this is 90% of what i talk about
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Geriatric Millennial | Rooster x Reader
Bradley loves all things '90s. You don't completely understand it, but you appreciate his spirit.
1000 words
Bradley Bradshaw x Reader
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There were certain scenarios that became normal over time when you were in a relationship with a man more then ten years your elder. Sometimes you didn't understand certain movie references. Slang words and jokes occasionally went over your head. He and his friends would often reminisce about trends you'd never witnessed. But Bradley never made you feel bad about it, and you never called him an old-timer unless you were joking.
You were used to these things, but nothing quite prepared you for what you saw when you got home from work. Bradley was relaxing on the couch in something that looked like a bright blue, full body straitjacket with some random vintage headphones on his head.
"What the fuck?" you muttered, inching closer when you realized he was listening to music and hasn't spotted you yet. You glanced around the room, trying to locate the source of disturbing chattering sound that just started, and you tripped over a hard, black ball.
Bradley looked up at you with a smile. "Hey, you're home early." He quickly stood in his weird, fleece outfit and leaned in to give you a kiss, but you leaned away.
"What on earth is happening here?" you asked, standing frozen as he pulled his headphones off.
"What are you talking about?" He looked puzzled by your words but not by all of the weird things in the living room.
"I'm talking about what you're wearing. And the robotic voice!"
"Oh," he laughed. "This is just my Snuggie."
"Your what?"
He glanced down at himself. "My Snuggie? I found it in a box of my stuff from highschool."
You were still so confused. "What's a Snuggie? And what is that weird sound?"
When his gaze fell to something fuzzy and brown on the couch, you jerked back in shock. "You mean my Furby?"
You glared at the critter and it's enormous, evil eyes. "Is that one of those things from that '80s Gremlins movie you're obsessed with?"
He barked out a laugh like you'd just said the funniest thing he'd ever heard in his life. "Baby, no. It's not a Gremlin. It's just a Furby. But imagine if Furby manufactured replica Gremlins... Would have been fascinating." It was starting to sound like he was speaking a foreign language. "I was just listening to Chumbawamba on my Discman and playing with my pogs and my Tomagachi. I literally forgot the Furby was even here."
You were sure you were gaping at him like he had two heads as you reached up to run your palm across his forehead. "Do you have a fever?"
"Huh? No, but I did eat a Kudos bar I found in the box, so I might potentially have an upset stomach later. But it was worth it."
After you pinched the bridge of your nose, you asked, "I'm sorry, but what did you say you were listening to?"
"Tubthumping. By Chumbawamba. You know it, don't you? Pissing the night away, pissing the night away. I get knocked down...." He looked at you in wide eyed shock. "You don't know that song? How is that possible?"
You didn't want to tell him that Chumba whatever wasn't a word. And neither was Snuggie. Not when he looked so adorably baffled. You stroked your fingers across his forehead and down his cheek as you shook your head.
"No, I don't know that song, because I'm not forty like you are. And you look kind of alarming in this thing." You pinched the fleece fabric and pulled it away from his body.
"It's my Snuggie," he muttered. "It was from an Infomercial."
"I don't know what that means." He gasped and you started laughing. "But I would love to sit down with you while you explain it to me. As long as you don't make me eat something from the late 1900s."
He took your hand in his bigger one and and led you toward the couch and the demonic looking Furby. "Okay, but first, you need to listen to this CD. Because Jake told me Chumbawamba is a guilty pleasure, but it's actually really good."
About twenty minutes later, you were wrapped up in the Snuggie, enveloped in softness and Bradley's lingering body warmth. "I love this thing," you told him, burying your face in the fleece. "And yes, Chumbawamba is good, but I like Hoobastank better. And I'm really sorry I accidentally kicked your Magic 8 ball across the floor."
He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed your cheek as you skipped a track on his Discman. "That's okay. Hey, do you want to learn how to play pogs? The best part is, I'm not sure there are actually any rules at all."
"Sure," you said with a shrug. "Why the hell not? As long as you lock that Furby away and never let it out ever again."
"Heard."
#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster fanfiction#rooster x reader#rooster x you#rooster fanfic#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw imagine#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#bradley rooster bradshaw fanfiction#bradley bradshaw fic#roosterforme
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Okay so here it is. Had to work through my emotions first so I've found my equilibrium.
I really liked how Neve's narrative turned out as a whole. I didn't expect to get along with her because she seemed kind of cold at first but honestly? She's for the girlies. I love her. So warm once you get to know her. She's such a bestie, comparative to Leliana in DAO imo
The section I was missing was in the Heights of Athim where the well is. Killed the demon, found the chests, got the last of the statues. I didn't expect to get that achievement so I was quite proud of myself.
I didn't 100% everywhere, I'll probably try to do that next run tbh. By that point I just wanted to see what happened, and...oh boy.
I was honestly 100% happy with the game 'til I got to the third act. Now that I've stewed on it I'll confidently say it's only dropped to 90%, but that's only because I'm of the rather rose-tinted persuasion of despising even "necessary" or "worthy" character deaths. I was NOT expecting to have Davrin die (which...Lace is the alternative? my heart!). Him AND Assan, too? After everything? I know that's the whole point of sacrifice, "whatever it takes", but...idk, it just didn't sit right with me. It felt squandered. But I know that's just my opinion.
And, speaking of squandered...Varric. I'd had the gut feeling that there was more to his situation than he was letting on, especially given Solas’ little "[he] is...quite practiced at shading the truth himself", so I was thinking "oh the only reason he survived was that he got tied to the Lighthouse's energy somehow and can't leave" or “he had a reaction to the dagger like Lace did just slightly different” or smth, but the longer the game went on the more details I noticed. Lace's reaction in the start confused me. There were just enough references to him throughout to mollify my suspicions, but then I got the codex about Xenon trying to buy Bianca and Lace almost gutting him for it. Also no one ever looked at him during the table meetings, and in the scenes he spoke to Rook he waited 'til everyone else left. That all was adding up, especially when I realized that Neve had healed completely, yet Varric was still as weak as he was at first with the casts and bandages and getting tired.
So. It didn't really surprise me when I got to the Fade mission and found out the truth, but...it still upset me. I know he's been in BW's sights for a long time but I hoped he would be the one character to make it out unscathed tbh. So I accepted it, thinking that it must be worth something, that once Rook brings it up to Solas it would help to persuade him, but...nothing. The companion banter in Minrathous didn't trigger for me, so other than Rook initially confronting Solas about it I didn't get any sense of lingering remorse from Solas, which I felt was out of character for him, especially given the circumstances. (I saw Lace's dressing down later, which helped me resolve it all in my mind. It doesn't fix the fact that no one really talks about it very much, but it made me feel a little better hearing Solas say he was sorry. Really sorry.) Ultimately I felt that it was a bit cheap overall since even the Inquisitor doesn't really bring it up, so I'll be discarding that in my AU. No thanks, BW. I want my bestest dwarf intact, thank you. Moving on.
Now, the rest of Solas in the third act? *chef's kiss* Did not see him leaving us in the Fade coming at all, especially since I got the "you have earned the respect of the dread wolf " message. In retrospect I should have expected it, but I guess I forgot I was looking at him through Rook’s eyes, whom he doesn’t know, and not as "me" (who I guess I associate with the Inquisitor more atm, ironically), so it makes sense that he still doesn't necessarily trust her and was manipulating her. The blood magic thing got me, too. And what fooled me was how concerned he genuinely seemed before, like after Weisshaupt, especially when he distracted Elgarn'nan on our behalf. So it fits him, and it gave me the good moment of like "fuck you. that was clever, Dread Wolf, you got me. but fuck you."
Fade mission was the closest I got to crying the whole game. Well written, most definitely. Still don't like the character deaths but c'est la vie. Not that big of a deal since I've seen that others appreciate the stakes being so high and there actually having to be that choice. To each their own. (I'll be changing it in my fic eventually regardless lol)
Emmrich's romance got me dude. The little argument before the island genuinely had me so worried, and then them making up once she escaped the Fade? *chef's kiss* The coffin slew me on sight though lol, it was so funny to me. He's so sweet I love him so much I swear. Definitely already a favorite and I haven't even experienced the others yet lol (Lucanis will be next, for whom I am so excited)
Minrathous was crazy. I believed Solas that time, too, so caught up in his sad little puppy dog eyes. I even noticed the "by my hand" comment and thought about it and then just dismissed it like "whatever you say king I am at your disposal". Woof. Getting to fight with him again, especially at full power, was so...well, empowering. Like I said, I didn't get the banter (since I had Lace and Emmrich with me), so it felt a little empty. I'll make sure to wait for it next time. (AND I SO CALLED IT THAT HE AND EMMRICH WOULD GET ALONG. WHERE ARE THE FICS OF THEM GETTING TO INTERACT, HUH? W H E R E)
I'm so glad Bellara turned out okay, I didn't think I could handle losing her, too. And Enaste in the middle of it all? Poor baby. I wanted to hug her so bad. Morrigan calling her out was funny though ngl
I got the rune of Felassan from the Caretaker, but I had really hoped that the spirit would have some sort of greater impact on the narrative, like appealing to Solas on our behalf for our help in the Crossroads/for the spirits, or with the rune actually summoning some spirits to help fight Elgar'nan like it sounded when the caretaker described it. A little thing, perhaps, but I thought for sure the Caretaker would have a greater narrative impact than that.
And boy. Oh boy. Getting to see the Dread Wolf was something. Big boy. Big pupper. That was so badass.
By the time I fought Elgar’nan I had mostly gotten the hang of the combat so it wasn’t too bad. I really like him and Ghil as villains overall. Just the right balance of real tangible threat and silly evils.
Oh and Solas clinging to his duty right until the end? I was so scared I wouldn’t be able to convince him when I first saw the trick or fight options, but then I realized I got the good ending from Mythal’s essence and I was so relieved. And boy? Let me tell you.
That entire scene had me almost in tears. It was so good. The angles and the lighting and the voice acting and the interactions and...everything. It was everything I wanted. So heartfelt and brought such good closure. And Lavellan getting to be with him in the end is actual perfection.
So, overall, I'd say I am mostly satisfied with the game personally. It was a product of a decade of ups and downs and while it is by no means perfect, I am so grateful to have had the chance to find "canon" closure and experience this game (mostly) spoiler free the first time. To me the world building we were afforded feels more like cherries put on top of the cake that was already there rather than baking something new, although there are of course some completely understandable nitpicks I have seen other people make. However, for what it is, and where it leaves us, I am content. Even if they don't make another game, I'm glad we got this one.
Anywho...I have already started my second playthrough with my Mournwatcher rook and have already started tweaking my AU/fics to accommodate the new information we got. :)
Thirteen (point six) hours in now that it’s finally downloaded…I tired…I’ve been up since seven am lol, it’s so much better than I expected!🥰
I’ll post better images once I figure out where in the hell my screenshot folder is but my baby Fenalan turned out so so gorgeous oml🥹
Spoilers mentioned under the cut:
I’m so glad Varric is okay. He gave Fenalan a little pep talk when she cracked under the pressure a bit so she’s doing her best to hold it together for the team. She left the mayor bc he’s a shithead and she’s generally been rather purple-coded, as I thought.
She has also given Solas a hard time at first, as planned. I wasn’t expecting him to clap back like he did in that second scene lol, but now that Varric has given her more insight into Solas’ personality she’ll be more cooperative going forward (while still being a lil shit of course).
God I know I’m waiting to romance Lucanis for Khalida but I understand why people are so I love with him. He went grocery shopping for them🥹and the delight in his voice when Fenalan got him the wyvern tooth dagger? Oh my lanta, my heart. And the fact that he noted her favorite drink being tea? That slew me on the spot. By god I am going to smooch you so hard next time. Get ready for it. (Rn he and Neve are flirting up a storm and it’s so damn cute I want to die.)
Honestly all the companion missions so far have been so sincere and sweet. I can’t wait to see more! I’m starting to get all the little side missions branching out so I’m trying not to get overwhelmed with them all by taking them one at a time. I think I’ll tackle more of arlathan forest first thing tomorrow.
I unlocked the memory where Solas fights Elgar’nan, so is the elf who was with him Felassan? I’m assuming it’s Felassan. And if that’s Felassan I am going to cry bc he seems so nice and outgoing.
Also who summoned the fish in the Lighthouse? (I think it was Felassan lol, he seems like an agent of chaos. The “you summoned them, you’ll have to feed them” line took me out.)
I’m mentally cataloguing all the little differences I’ll be making with Khalida, who is more of the soft-spoken, shy, diplomatic type. Her favorite drink will be the “something sweeter” option, she’ll have supported Varric’s plan, and she’ll be more open to Solas’ input off the bat once she gets over her initial fright of him. She’s such a sweet little thing and Lucanis is going to be an utter disaster with her since she’s a bit oblivious lol
God idk if I’m going to be able to sleep after all this but hey, here’s to trying lol
On nydha, lethal’len!🥰
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So, uh...
Mine lived(?)
How Are We Doing.
#yakuza#like a dragon#yakuza 3#yoshitaka mine#mine yoshitaka#masayoshi yokoyama#kson#I THINK THE STAFF MEMBER IS SANTO. LIKE 90% SURE IT'S SANTO but i don't have the video clip and cannot identify him im so sorry#i included the “preamble” to make it clear he was talking about mine and why but i'm just obsessed with the whole conversation honestly#kson having the opportunity to go up to yokoyama and say “do you think mine is out there somewhere.” living the dream#yokoyama's character arc not particularly liking mine back in the day and falling for him later on like me too bro#also he literally does just straight up say mine is alive. with zero ambiguity and even with an explanatory tone.#i ADDED what ambiguity there is because i don't want anyone to--as the tweet says--expect too much#anyway that's the end of the normal tags the rest of this is just going to be overwrought melodramatics#i hate the entire ending portion the transition and effects are godawful#not what my vision was at all#this is my first time actually editing and it shows. but it'll have to do.#i'm also nothing short of embarrassed of the timing and the missing words#but i really did do my best. i really did pay to have it professionally transcribed.#and part of me certainly wonders if this is all a mistake and irresponsible to put out there. if i'm giving people false hope.#if the extent of my understanding just isn't good enough to know better#yet if there IS something there... then what good will it have done to keep it to myself#original#my clips#my translations
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what the actual fuck is wrong with whoever it is running @/writing-prompt-s. why are they calling an actual palestinian blogger "shady" and using their massive platform on this site to accuse palestinian families and users of being bots and scammers?
#.....like.#if. IF you are right. do you not think the damage being done if you are WRONG is significantly worse?#also you literally aren't right 90-ghost is a real person. it does not take all that much research to find that out.#and if you so strongly believe that you're right (with shoddy self-justification to boot) you don't need to#like. make a whole thing about it either. yknow. to your (again) massive platform. does the block feature not exist for a reason.#because. again. the damage done if you are wrong and proceed to call them out or report them is so much worse.#it's fine if you're worried about being scammed. if anything that's a good thing. but if you aren't gonna do research on your end#then baseless accusations help nobody.#and you /don't/ need to report them!! a block will suffice. again. if you're really /so/ sure!!#sorry i don't usually wanna. uh.#i guess this counts as vagueposting?#i don't usually wanna vaguepost but reading what they're saying is so disheartening and infuriating#i'm not following them and haven't been or anything the post i'm talking about just showed up#contra.txt
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Saw the tags on the Toshinori post and do you have more to share?? Any insights? If so I’d welcome hearing them 😭 He really is so self-sacrificial and it hurts but it’s truly at the core of who he is
This has been sitting in my inbox for almost a week because I needed to make a futile effort at organizing my thoughts into something coherent--but this is as organized as they're going to get for now! Thank you so so much for the ask though bc I do love to yell about MHA <3
(Obligatory reminder that I'm watching this show in such a confusing order so if what I'm about to rant about has been addressed before and I'm harping on it unnecessarily I Am Sorry.)
(For anyone curious, this is the post btw)
SO. It feels relevant to mention that my sister and I were talking about All Might in the first place because we were talking about MHA Moments That Haunt Us. For me, it's the 'I am not here' sign hanging around the neck of the All Might statue in Kamino Ward after the Paranormal Liberation War. It literally lives in my brain rent-free 24/7 365 days a year, especially with the AM vs AFO fight being relatively fresh in my mind. The reversal of All Might's catchphrase and all it represents hurts, but to display it at the site of his 'last stand' in Kamino? That's brutal.
All Might vs All For One and how that rematch plays out is so so important to the story for so many reasons, but one of them is that the fight itself is a sacrifice. Toshinori gives everything he has, short of his life, to defeat All For One. He gives up his physical strength, his public image as the unbeatable Symbol of Peace, and, effectively his Quirk ("Goodbye, All For One. Goodbye, One For All" haunts my every waking moment, still!)
This battle is also the culmination of years of All Might's life and heroic philosophy (because Toshinori has been both practicing AND preaching self-sacrifice in the name of the greater good since we met him. It's what he thinks a hero does). Kamino is the sacrifice to end all sacrifices, if you will. Yes, he does get to walk away from the fight with AFO, but he walks away irrevocably different, almost unrecognizable. He's forced to totally change his focus and his mindset and his life. Everything he has given up is made literally visible in the deterioration of his body.
But most most importantly, All Might's sacrifice at Kamino was... all for nothing. Even if AM defeated him in that moment, All For One is free less than a year later. The world is in shambles. People are afraid, and their faith in heroes is crumbling. Heroes are afraid, and this time, they have no idealized symbol to rally behind. When Dostoevsky wrote "Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing," he was talking about All Might btw.
Toshinori gave this fight (and his career, and being All Might) everything he had, and it still wasn't enough. He sacrificed so much of himself, and so much of how he perceived himself and his purpose, and he didn't even save the world. He just bought them time--and not much of it. I think that's why he's so desperate to keep fighting, no matter the cost, no matter what condition he's in--even 'quite literally half-dead.' He can't let Kamino be the Symbol of Peace's final stand, because Kamino was ultimately for nothing. Instead of saving the world, it has been reframed through the sign on the statue as All Might abandoning the world. And ever since then, he's been scrambling to prove that he is still here.
(There's also probably something here about Sir Nighteye telling him that he was going to die. Since Nighteye used his Quirk on him, Toshinori has been anticipating sacrificing his life for good. Knowing that his entire hero career is effectively a fight to the death has probably maximized his self-sacrificial tendencies.)
#ask#yagi toshinori#bnha all might#mha all might#love of my LIFE#i had more bullet points to include about all might's philosophy of self-sacrifice as both a hero and a teacher#but then i was writing random notes about all might as a product of hero society as opposed to a pillar of it and i felt like that one vide#of the old man going '90% of the time i have no idea what the hell i'm talking about'#it wasn't strictly relevant to this ask but maybe one day it will be it's own post bc toshinori messes me up when i think about him#for longer than 0.5 seconds#this is so word vomit i'm so sorry#liza blather#AND ANOTHER THING. a lot of the pros are self-sacrificial to an extreme (i made a web weave abt it) but all might is one of the few#who actually makes it his PHILOSOPHY. like he passes on the idea of setting yourself on fire to keep others warm as a Good Plan#which is NOT a criticism of him OR his fault it's what he LEARNED to do just like#i can't really blame the ua faculty for the sports fest as messed up as it was bc like. half of them are probably ua alumni. they#probably had their own sports festival. this is just like. not registering as abnormal to them.#okay now i will stop#one thing about me is if i'm not talking about kamino i'm talking about the sports festival#and on the off chance i'm not talking about either i'm talking about the joint training arc
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one of these days i'm going to write up all that i've changed from azzarello's bullshit era and the one (1) piece i've kept from milligan (and also changed) and the only thing currently stopping me is that it is going to be so, so inside-baseball incomprehensible. and i almost never want to go reading/screencapping azzarello and milligan to add references but i Want to add references.
canon is goop, just know that we continue to ride the bus down "hellblazer ended at #250 and looks like swiss cheese before that" street.
#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS.#i'm doing page maintenance before i fuck off to work rip it's got me thinking#anyway i think i said WAY back on this blog that a side goal of mine is to make hellblazer lore accessible to non-comic readers where i can#bc it's such a Heavy comic & i love it so much & i always felt Terrible recommending it to people only for them to be disgusted#and like. @ past me that particular goal is NOT as easy as you thought it would be lmao#esp because i have a habit of getting VERY detail-oriented when it comes to talking about hellblazer i think#but by GOD it's still a goal. i can put in some motherfucking references here and there when i talk about The Lore#like. azzarello's writing style never translates well for me in synopsis bc he Loves to put the audience in the outside perspective#where we are bystanders/with the rest of the bystanders to constantine's actions and not to his motivations/inner monologue#and i HATE that. hellblazer has ALWAYS been about what this guy has going on underneath the masked exterior#all the things you can't say out loud when you're queer and working class trying to survive in 70s-80s-90s england#but that you FEEL with your WHOLE fucking chest. how that feeling drives you to enjoy little rebellions wherever you can get them#(also azzarello just fucking Sucks LMAO but i'm talking style rn)#so i end up relying on frusin's art to tell the story a little more bc i think he understands the Theatre of constantine's public persona#and when that theatre is Absent then it's really REALLY noticeable. so frusin keeps me in it most of the time#and if i'm digging into frusin art then i'm Going to want to compare it to older panels bc i like body language consistency#milligan on the other hand has NOTHING to save his sorry ass bc his writing is drop-jaw fucking terrible AND the artist seems to like it#but the loss of john's thumb being tied to his mental health (ignoring the bullshit with shade) has always felt. important to me somehow id#anyway MUCH thinking about my favorite loser on this about-to-be-annoying day shdjksd he has been done so dirty#hellblazer brain go brrrr
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Occasionally I get messages from people that only know my music taste from the radio show I do, which in fairness to them is close to my actual taste in music because I wouldn't ever play something I genuinely disliked, but the radio work doesn't cover all of the music I like. And so people are sometimes surprised when, for example I end up talking about well-known American bands (the show is on new and upcoming British and Irish music). I closed out last week's Osheaga-themed show with Green Day and Chappell Roan, and had someone say they hadn't had me down as a Green Day listener because I guess they'd imagined I was on the Britpop side of the 90s rock music scene war. When in fact I grew up 90s grunge!
#radio stuff#what I'm really sad about is the archives pooped this week. Osheaga episode is gone forever. Sorry :'(#I heard some Blur and Oasis in 2015#only properly got into Blur in 2019#I thought Oasis were pop music (have you heard how singalong Champagne Supernova is?)#I heard Green Day in 2012#I was a grunge head growing up and that's probably Muse's fault :P#Was also really into RHCP and stuff. A lot of that 90s American alternative music. Talk Beck; STP; Marcy Playground; Bikini Kill#All that stuff. The Op Ivys and Green Days#I think just by sheer locational proximity I was always more aware of UK music than American music#but like. A lot of my music taste just came from reading names in magazines and looking them up#Like my growing up years were INUNDATED with like David Guetta and Black Eyed Peas and Diplo#maybe some Adele definitely too much Taylor Swift and 1D. And I was not into that stuff so I just had to look backwards for a few years#maybe in a way it was good because I kinda gave myself the 'classic rock encyclopaedia' music education lol#but yeah was definitely more into American 90s stuff than UK's.#That's still true; even after having discovered some great UK albums of the 90s. Anyway why are we talking about this#I have to pop out to get groceries#Just I got the message; haha'ed it and was thinking about it
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youtube
Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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I'm not a "new musical theatre style music" person. Never have been.
Even when I was doing voice lessons, I'd steer towards the golden age or jazzy musical theatre songs. My voice teacher would have to drag me kicking and screaming towards adding anything new musical theatre to my repertoire. For a while, the most modern song in my book was I Know The Truth from Aida, and I wouldn't count that as new musical theatre style since I mean more the Pasek&Paul or Joe Iconis type.
And now I have an audition coming up for a small production of a show in that style and I'm supposed to sing a song in a similar style. And I'm looking at all my sheet music like... let me do some Cole Porter... or Gershwin... at least Sondheim please...
#look i do have SOME newer musicals in my book. but like i said. kicking and screaming.#i'm probably gonna end up doing 'I Think That He Likes Me' which is not IN a musical it's just new musical theatre style#as part of a songbook for some writing duo that i can't remember the name of and it's 2:45am so i can't care enough to look it up.#and it's the only one in my sheet music folder that i'm like 'ok. this is TRULY the right style' and i know it's good in my voice#and it's a cute song and i do like it and it definitely fits the overall vibe of the show#and though i haven't sung it in like 4 years i still remember 90% of the words and have time to study it before the audition#but while trying to find that song deep deep in my folder i pass by other songs i just love so much more#and i'm like ahhhhhhhh why#and i'm not even like 'god i hope i get it' (see A Chorus Line. that's more my type) i truly don't care if i'm cast or not#and yes i can technically audition with any song i could ever want it's just suggested to do the same style#but i know the entire creative panel who i'll be auditioning for and the last 2 times i auditioned for them i sang the same song#only because it's a GOOD song that fit both shows i was auditioning for (Can't Stop Talking About Him by Frank Loesser)#(perfect audition song since it's short at like 28 bars and you can pick the tempo and do a lot of character stuff)#(but see this is what i mean. like 1/3 of my entire sheet music folder is golden age musicals. then half is 60s-90s.)#(and then the last chunk are the few new-ish musical theatre and some pop music.)#(if i took performing more seriously i'd have a wider range but this is truly just for fun and just for me. so i do what i like.)#i don't want to go in for a 3rd audition with the same creative team and doing the same song. especially since it doesn't fit this time.#so once again. dragged kicking and screaming. over to new musical theatre territory. unwillingly.#if i get cast we'll have to see if the show itself even grows on me since honestly i think there's maybe 2 songs i like in it.#it's definitely not the worst new musical theatre style show but it's also not one that drew me in.#ok wait while looking through lists of 'new musical theatre' shows to find one i actually like (i think just Legally Blonde sorry guys)#(every other new musical in the last 20 years that i like did something interesting with the music like Come From Away)#i ended up finding out that apparently 13 was adapted into a netflix movie? when did that even happen?#i mean i don't care for that show either but i thought i was at least up to date on movie adaptations.
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trying to do a more detailed character profile for my veilguard oc has made me realize that i only know like 2 things about dragon age lore
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don't use the fucking romantic tags if your fic is platonic like. what the fuck
#i don't even tag my fics as ship if it's only implied!!!!!#i would report them if i wasn't so fucking lazy#it's not even like the fic is bad! it's just not what i want#''for visibility'' ok??? who's going to read it???? not the people who only want the ship#like 90% of this tag is smut i'm sorry to tell you that your found-family platonic story is not going to be a big hit LMAO#i'm not that mad just annoyed but this is genuinely the first time i've seen someone do it#like ive seen people talk about it but never actually seen anyone do it. like. why#we're not on wattpad. the tags actually matter here😭
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as opposed to americans, who have historically been extremely accepting of both poc and "different types of white"
#sorry the instagram comments on this reel pissed me off#it was a skit about how europeans claim racism doesn't exist in their countries but then they have like blackface holidays#I don't think you've actually ever talked to a european to be honest. the only people who will claim that racism isn't a thing are literally#alt right shitheads. most others are very aware#also someone in the comments was like 'europeans claim they don't have racism yet 90% of europeans live in white ethnostates 😂' um.. huh??#no? no they really don't? and even if they did like I'm sorry. romania has a majority white population. what exactly do u suggest people do#to change that. nobody of any race or ethnicity should move here because it's a garbage country#like I don't think you're actually aware of the reality of this continent I think you're just chastising the image of it you have in your#head. as an american. which of course must mean you're extremely knowledgeable and informed about everything ofc. so how could you be wrong?
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Also I think its time for me to come clean but I know very little about k!pyros lore but wants to find out more but also don't have time or attention spam to watch
No that's so fair I'll be honest if I weren't so fucking autistic about some of the ksmp characters I would not have the attention span or capacity to pay attention to ksmp LOL
I like to think I understand k!pyro like some of the best out of everyone and Jack would probably vouch for that but I cannot for the life of me sit and explain lore
#Yes I could explain Linc's so far pretty easily LMAO but like others not rly#K!pyro's lore timeline I could not explain in full I wouldn't immediately remember everything#There are some big things I could go over briefly but smaller things I would forget#Honestly with ksmp if you know/understand general characters you can be an enjoyer enough . Imo#Like fuck knowing the lore I think it's fun if you just like the characters cause look#Ksmp is at a good time only for Americans I think . It's at 8 pm EST.#If you don't watch from the start of s1 you're fucked on lore unless you can sit through the VOD channel#There's no good guide to watching the VODs up to the current point because not all POVs are necessary to watch really#So it's hard to properly get into atp like very hard#So if people don't know lore I DON'T BLAME THEM.#And the community doesn't help I'm sorry do not listen to 90% of what people say.#Just listen to me. Honestly. Literally don't ask anyone else about lore. They'll just talk about clownzy.#I'm deadass they will find a way to make everything about Clown or the Branzy cameo (HE'S NOT COMING BACK.)#Ignore them .#Anyways all that to say. I support ksmp enjoyers who don't know the fucking lore for 90% of it#It's not easy LMAO#Stream-only lore is hard for me to stay with and that's why I adore ksmp being in relatively short sessions on a consistent schedule#Every Saturday 8 PM EST unless something comes up. It's spaced out it's consistent it's a great schedule#In principle. The time is not great for Everyone sadly#Hell it's awful for basically all of the cast it's mostly Aussies waking up at like 8 in the morning#《👾》
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Talking with Fabian and whooooooooo boy that was an conversation and a half...
#miranda talking shit#Uuuh i was kinda rightfully anxious? I told him about how i am a little freak and i basically am down to date 90% of my friends#But i got told by Oliver that it could be i act that way bc i dont want to be abandoned/left so im willing to compromise however they want#Me to... So talked about that with him and yep. We finally got into the whole... 'what are we' business. Or well kinda not directly#He said he didn't want to bring it up but we basically are on the subject so... And how hes worried that i will think too much about him#'i worry the more time we spend together the more your life will revolve around me and you'll value me so much more than i do you'#'it doesnt seem fair to you so ive occasionally not talked with you because i worry about that. You're a great friend but I know how much#You think about people. And im worried if you think about me too much you'll develop feelings or I'll mean more to you than before' i... He#Isnt wrong? Thats kinda how i work. The more people prioritize me the more ill value them and cherish them? But also... Idk if he understod#That i dont actively think about kissing or dating my friends? Its just a thing i know that if anyone asked I'd be down for it. But i dont#Daydream about it or anything. But then again he said some cryptic fabian shit like 'i dont have anyone else to compare with so i assume#What we have is normal. I sometimes want to cross the line to see where i still stand with you after doing it' like bro... Im so sorry i am#I am so far from 'normal' and him having me as his biggest both friend and female/woman in his life is probably such a mess i am crying#Me: ok then cross the line and see how you feel. 'but thats the problem. You dont have a line you're so open and down with everything you#Dont really react badly' I know i... Probably am making things hard for him sometimes but this was an holy shit moment /: hes worried to#Spend too much time with me bc of how i can potentially feel? Meanwhile I'm basically 80%+ of all his social interactions 😭 at one hand i#Appreciate him thinking of me and worry i guess but... Yeah. I told him: listen Fabian. My life does not revolve around you and youre not#The only one i think about. You are safe.' his and mine relationship is my favorite but also i definitely worry bc i know how much what we#Have or talk about or act is his... Only reference for girls basically. I mean outside his mom. He's not had any other girl friends and no#Actual girlfriend. So his reference to whats... Okay and appropriate is basically dictated by me and im seeing that very clear now im kinda#Afraid. Like... Im not normal on any level. If he's basing his view on women on me hes going to have an awful time truly... Idk if i should#Be offended or flattered that he thinks he's the center of my world 😭 like hes not completely wrong. I talk with him multiple times per#Week. But i can also say hes not all i think about at all waking hours lol. I obviously love him and care so much about him but im not#In love with him. Not as far as i know anyway. I dont think of him how i do people i have crushes on for example so yeaah. It bothers me#More that he couldn't just say 'im not into you' bc thats fine. He added the whole element of 'im not sure' like buddy now im going to be#Anxious about that in the future. I guess he have no reference to crushes so he cant tell but like... How do you want me to act so you can#Tell? I want an solid answer putting in an maybe is cruel even to me. This is funny bc tbh i dont even know if i would be able to date him#Even if he said he wanted to. Bc i know his biggest wish is to be a dad and i have nog fully embraced that idea even /: 'i can feel how ego#Centered i am. Assuming im the center of your world like that' at least youre self aware sweetie. Sounded like he was at peace with all we#Said and im here like... Binch there's so much to think about i wish i could read your mind i need more information to understand all this
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(edit II: helpful to read the discussion bits at the end to clarify questions, they provide information on how to interpret the questions and why)
If you don’t know your score, take the test here
#I think if you take an 'am I autistic' quiz that says enough perhaps research it more in depth#neurodivergence#edit: i got 184#i also took the others and got 167 and 36#i feel like people don't really notice I'm autistic even if they are autistic because I have very stereotypical autistic traits#. . . that i put hella effort into hiding#for example: not saying i want to be alone to stare at a wall for six hours whrn my friends ask to hang out#even if that's what I'm actually thinking#i could talk for hours about my special interests#but i won't!#i could even complain about sensory difficulties and yet that is not happening sorry 💜#i can't manage contextual clues well so i just flat out don't do this stuff in public or private or anywhere else#Tumblr is the only place where i subject someone to 374772824 posts about my favorite guy from my shows and my latest hobbies#good news is apparently 90% of people answering this quiz are probably chill with that
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So, I was looking through some old shit and got punched in the face
absolutely decked
Totally obliterated by nostalgia when I stumbled onto some old Starfire / Raven content.
I thought to myself: "This has to be a popular ship, Right? It couldn't have just been me. I know the girls both had other primary love interests but when has that ever stopped literally anyone, ever"
To my utter shock and dismay it seems it is somewhat niche pairing????? At least compared to other things I've looked up... Anyway: HOW???? WHY????
It has only been less than a week and I've already gone through almost every one of the 13 curated pages on AO3 - which yes, might be a bit clipped due to tag catering and the myriad of stories I chose to skip over due to specific content. Unless I'm missing something with the ship tag (because AO3 doesn't even seem to have a proper one for the pairing) then I'm already at the limit!
BUT I AM STILL NOT SATISFIED
I grew up with the 2003 show and never really ventured into the comics after the show got cancelled but the bits and pieces I've picked up from both the fiction and various googlings to help understand said fiction have only dug me further into this hole.
Basically:
WHY ARE THESE TAGS ALL BUT DEAD. STOP HAVING THEM BE DEAD!
I swear if I have to write my own goddamn stories I'm gonna scream! ....but I did start writing my own goddamn stories. I've gone and started writing them out of order so they wont be posted like "soon" but my heart, it hurts, please I need more of this stupid bullshit (affectionate)
#Starrae#Raestar#teen titans#teen titans 2003#and yes#I know my blog is basically also dead#I just use it primarily to lurk these days#but please#I am begging - pleading even#I need more of these stupid - cute girls#Also#why are 90% of the hurt/comfort stories focused on Raven's demon issues#Don't get me wrong#it's very interesting and I love what it offers since the show does a good job of showing it off#but that's just it#we get that deep insight - we're shown directly - not that I mind seeing it re-framed with the ship in mind#I just want to see more of the other side of that coin#Like starfire was held as a slave / political captive for however long and the show only hints at it in a single episode#I know that's borrowing from the DCU a bit since the show didn't go into why she was captured in the first place but come on#But also - the vast majority of the fics are a mixture of all TT media anyway so it should be relevant regardless!#you wanna talk angst - trauma - hurt / comfort?#you take the sunshine character from the sun/moon pairing and you dim it. Make the moon shine brighter for the both of them#I get why the 2003 show didn't really go into it too much beyond the fact it was cancelled before it potentially could#and if I touch it in my writing I probably wont be making Blackfire the main villain as far as that's concerned#one too many good sister stories in my readings to justify that to myself#but it just seems like such an untapped well#Anyway - sorry for rambling in the tags#I'm just loosing my mind over this ship again after however many goddamn years and I'm desperate to talk about it
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