#i'm sorry i couldn't write you anything better

[redwinelew]

do the girls back home touch you like i do? | lewis hamilton

social media au. desi + model!reader

summary | the chemistry you had with lewis in the new chanel ad was electrifying and fans simply couldn't get enough

face claim | varada sethu

song | delicate by taylor swift

warnings | suggestive, insecure reader, hate comments

author's note | so i didn't do any research before writing this and my broke ass thought that chanel no5 was a unisex perfume 🧍🏻‍♀️ i had to change it a bit after finding out sksjsk. this one was inspired by the timothee chalamet bleu de chanel ad. the ad part is not proofread so i apologize for any mistakes.

english is not my first language. all pictures taken from instagram and pinterest. credit to owners.

masterlist | request guidelines | requests are open!

twitter!

youtube!

BLEU DE CHANEL, the Celine Song film starring Lewis Hamilton — CHANEL Fragrance

9.1M views 14 hours ago #BleudeChanel #CHANELFragrance

In the new Bleu de Chanel film, Celine Song directed Lewis Hamilton in a story of two lovers as they navigate their life through the busiest city in the world, while dealing with insecurities and doubts of their relationship.

Starring Lewis Hamilton and Y/N L/N

Directed by Celine Song

Music by Taylor Swift, "Delicate"

#BleudeChanel #CHANELFragrance

the ad!

"over here!"

"give a smile for me!"

"on your left!"

she forced herself to comply, her lips curved into an uncomfortable smile. she had to squint, her eyes almost flutter shut at the cameras flashing blinding white lights at her. despite knowing that she is not the main attraction tonight, she knew that there are people who will be paying attention. people on the internet who think that they are invisible behind their devices. waiting for her to make mistakes with their virtual keyboards at hand, already prepared with their nasty comments about her.

people who think that she didn't deserve him.

"you alright, darling?" lewis whispered into her ear, instinctively rubbing soothing circles on her hips when he noticed how uncomfortable his girl is.

she sucked in a sharp breath, widening her awkward smile at the cameras before nodding slightly. "yeah. i'm fine"

a lie. he knew it. he saw right through her. he knew her better than she knows herself. his eyes stay on her for a couple more seconds, choosing not to say anything for now.

"you're not eating," he commented, bringing her attention back to him from her phone. immediately she closes it, like she doesn't want him to see all the hate comments she has was reading on twitter. she gazes down at her plate, barely touched since it arrived before giving him a guilty smile.

"not hungry. sorry."

he's silent, feeding the pasta into his mouth as he watches her scrolling down her phone again. sometimes her eyebrows would furrow, or her face would drop. this time she lets out a sigh.

he asks if she's okay, and she says yes but he knows it means something else. she would always say the opposite of what's really in her mind, the opposite of how she really feels, all for his comfort and he hates it.

"tell me what's on your mind," he finally asks that same night when they are finally alone, in the comfort of their manhattan penthouse, with a view overlooking the rest of new york city. he secures his strong tattooed arms around her naked waist, hugging her from behind. she is in nothing but her undergarments, lacy black bras and panties that drives him crazy every night, with a thin white satin robe on that did nothing to cover her ass. he pulls her to him, her back plastered against his bare chest as his lips make contact with her exposed shoulder.

when she hears that, a tired sigh escapes her lips, knowing that she cannot lie anymore. no longer able to hide being false pretenses now that nobody else is around. just the two of them. her eyes closed momentarily. she gulps thickly, her heart is heavy as she finally confesses.

"i don't deserve you. i'm not good enough for you."

she feels his body tenses behind her, sees his frozen figure through their silhouette in the window. then her ears catch the sound of his deep breath and she could feel his grip tighten around her.

"darling," he calls, soft as always but his voice a little deeper, huskier this time. his tone stern, which made her bite her bottom lip in anticipation of what he might say next. shouldn't she have said that? is he mad?

"you deserve every bit of me," he murmurs against her shoulder, pressing another long kiss there as his calloused fingers trace invisible patterns on her belly. his voice a bit muffled hut clear enough to her ears.

"you're more than enough for me," he continues, determine to convince her that she is wrong. every little doubts that she's been having are wrong.

"you could have anyone you wanted." she speaks silently, eyes drop to the wooden floor.

"i don't want anyone else." he was quick to reply. his right hand moves to cup her cheek, gently tilting it a little bit back so their eyes could meet.

he sees the insecurities in her eyes, her silent plea. it kills him that she feels like this. his thumb brushes against her cheek softly, before his brown orbs travel down to her lips.

"you're the only one for me." he whispers.

a second, two seconds passed. her lips tremble, eyes searching his, and she will find nothing but his love for her and sincerity in his words. and she realizes in that minute that those things are enough for her. no more caring about what stranger on the internet think about her or this relationship. the only thing she needs is him. a faint smile decorates her face. he does as well, before pressing his lips against hers.

she turns so her body can fully face him, and his did not waste any time to capture her waist, desperate to pull her close. he moves forward, backing her against the tall window. the kiss grows heated as his tongue slips past her mouth, earning a whimper from her. he removes her robe, then unhooks her bra with ease before throwing it off somewhere on the bedroom floor.

she wraps her arms around his neck, running her nails through his scalp which are free from the braids. his lips travel to her neck, and she moans as he sucks on her sweet spot. her eyes flutter when he bites her earlobe gently before whispering praises and promises to her, those which she knows are not empty.

she buries her face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his expensive scent deeply as she lets him worship her that night.

"the only one for me. bleu de chanel.”

twitter!

lewishamilton just made a post!

liked by ellabalinska, tchalamet and 1,983,131 others

lewishamilton the only one for me. bleu de chanel chanelofficial

tagged chanelofficial

view all 10,252 comments

user1 cause of death: lewis hamilton bleu de chanel ad

user2 quick how do we get him to be in a calvin klein ad next

user3 user2 PLS I WOULD DIE IF THIS HAPPENS

user4 user2 f1 would be over bcs of the amount of ppl that got fired over rhis

user5 user4 help ahsjskshk 😭😭

user6 user2 the world would end i fear

user7 i still havent recovered from that advert btw

georgerussell63 🔥

ynln just made a post!

📍 Manhattan, New York

liked by lewishamilton, yourbff and 13,872 others

ynln such an honor to be part of the latest bleu de chanel campaign 💙💙 thank you so much for this opportunity. this is a moment that i will cherish forever chanelofficial

tagged chanelofficial

view all 2,728 comments

yourbff my girl is in a chanel ad!!!! so proud of you darling 😘😘❤️❤️

ynln yourbff 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 i love you so much

user1 oh to be able kiss lewis hamilton

user2 i've never been more jealous of someone i don't know

user3 was lewis a good kisser?

ynln user3 😅😅 i mean i don't know if i'm allowed to say but yes he is

user4 ynln I KNEW ITTTTTT

user5 the saree 👏🏽👏🏽

ynln user5 🥰🥰

user6 how were u able to stay chill in lewis' presence bcs honestly i would have shit myself

ynln user6 lollll i needed the job so 😅😅

user7 you are soooo pretty and such an icon and also the coolest person on the planet i hope you know this

ynln user7 no babe YOU 🥰🥰

user8 wishing i was her rn

user9 if i were her i would never shut up about getting to kiss lewis hamilton tbh

user10 user9 same

lewishamilton you were incredible 🙏🏾

ynln lewishamilton you as well 💙💙

user11 lewishamilton ynln christ just date each other already

taglist | @angstyntasty @scorpiodiosa @omgsuperstarg @m3ntally-unstable @linnygirl09 @nyramylove

[mrsshabana]

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫 ✧ 𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

ꔫ Content Gyutaro x female!reader, canon-ish, fluff ꔫ Note Happy New Year! This is a continuation of the Christmas fic I did. I'll link it below in case you didn't get the chance to read it. ଘ( ˊωˋ )ଓ

:･ﾟ✧ Part one

Ever since your secret admirer gave you that beautiful bracelet Christmas night, you've been communicating with him in secret. Leaving notes outside your doorstep every time you went to bed, and when you'd wake up you'd always find a crinkled-up piece of paper with sloppy handwriting in return.

Gyutaro knows he shouldn't be communicating with you. He knows better than that. But when he read the note that you left for him he just couldn't help it. No one has ever been so sweet to him before, even through writing. The way you went on complimenting him, telling him he's so sweet and kind and how blessed you feel to have someone like him around. It almost felt like a love letter, making Gyutaro's cheeks burn the whole time he read it.

He tries to keep his responses brief but he figured it wouldn't hurt to tell you his name, right? Now you know the name of your suiter. Gyutaro~

You like saying it to yourself. Sometimes calling out to him when you feel like you're being watched. Causing him to sink deep into the shadows, trying to calm down as he gets all flustered.

He's in too deep and he knows it. But is it bad that he doesn't really care?

In your last letter, you asked him to join you for New Year's Eve as you didn't have any plans and would like to spend the evening with him. After a double shift, you finally get home after sundown to read his response.

"Listen, you can't see me. How many times do I have to tell you before you understand? Even though I wish we could... we will never meet. Just accept it Y/N.

You don't need to be hanging around a guy like me anyway. It's for the best.

I hope you have a happy new year,

Love, Gyutaro"

The intent of his words was to push you away for your own safety. That much is clear to you so you don't take it too personally. But, does he take you for some kind of idiot?

"Ha, what are you so afraid of, Gyutaro?" you yell up into the air, knowing that he's around, "Are you afraid that I would reject you because you're a demon?"

As soon as that statement leaves your lips you hear a loud thud behind you. And before you can turn around a large hand is clasped against your mouth and pulling you back against a muscular chest.

"Quiet! How the hell did you know?" he whispers in an inhuman voice, confirming your suspicions. It's raspy and harsh, just like his handwriting.

"Mm mm mm!!" You hum behind his hand, unable to speak.

"Oh... sorry," he mumbles and takes his hand off your mouth. Though he still keeps you held tightly against his body so you can't see his appearance.

"You only write me at night! And no normal person would be able to stalk me like you do. You managed to uproot a whole Christmas tree and sneak it into my home without anyone noticing. Not to mention you said that we should never meet, so I just put the clues together," you can't help but snicker as you hear him huff in frustration.

"You're smarter than I thought you'd be..." he mumbles. Though he can't be surprised. He fell for you for many reasons, and your intelligence was one of them. He just didn't think you'd outsmart him so easily. Or maybe it's because he was careless and let his guard down.

"Gyutaro, I don't care that you're a demon-"

"I'm not just any demon! I'm..." he takes a deep breath to calm down, "I'm ugly. And before you say you like me anyway, I'm uglier than ugly. Worse than anything a mere human could ever imagine."

You don't know what to say. Simply just telling him you don't care about his appearance isn't enough, you know it won't satisfy him. He's been alive for who knows how many years, so he's probably heard it all.

You want to see his face, more than anything. But if it's something he isn't comfortable with then you won't force it on him.

"Fine. Blindfold me then."

"What?" he gasps, "You serious?"

"Yes, I'm completely serious. I want to spend the New Year with you so I'll do it blindfolded if that makes you feel more comfortable," you reach down to lay your hand atop his, conveying your sincerity.

"B-But you won't be able to see the fireworks if-"

"I don't care," you cut him off, "I want to be with you, that's all I care about."

A distorted laugh rumbles out of him, "You got a deal, human."

You're honestly surprised that he agreed. But you know he's serious when he wraps some type of fabric around your eyes. You don't know what it is, maybe some type of scarf or ribbon. But he tightly ties it around your head, then lifts you up into his arms.

"Where are we going?" you ask.

"To watch the fireworks. Er- I guess I'll watch them, you'll just listen to them," he chuckles, finding the situation you've put yourself in quite amusing.

You hear the sound of people walking around and talking within a crowd, but you feel the wind blowing through your hair as Gyutaro moves quickly. Surely he isn't running through the crowd of people? No, they don't sound close enough. He must be above them, carrying you onto the rooftops where the two of you won't be spotted.

You get confirmation when he gently sets you down, as you can feel the slates of the roof beneath you.

"A-Are we on top of a building?" you stutter, feeling slightly afraid especially since you can't see anything.

"Heh, wow you really are smart. I come up here every year to watch the fireworks," he smiles, looking up into the sky as it's filled with colorful lights, "Just relax. I won't let you fall off."

He hesitantly reaches over to take your hand, finding himself more confident without the threat of being seen. This actually feels really nice. For once, Gyutaro feels like he can be normal. Not defined by his unsightly face or grotesque body.

"You know what we usually do at midnight, right?" you whisper, looking up to where you think his face is.

"Uh... what?"

"Kiss," you blush and squeeze his hand.

"O-Oh! I see..." he mutters, gulping audibly.

Gyutaro looks down at one of the city clocks. The time is ticking fast and before he knows it it's already almost midnight.

"Shit, do I have to kiss her? Or maybe I wait for her to kiss me... but she can't see. So how is she supposed to know when it's midnight? Maybe I can just pretend it's not midnight yet..." he thinks to himself.

He wants to kiss you, he really does. Deep down at least. Though he knows he shouldn't. He should see you as nothing more than a meal, but you couldn't be further from that. You mean so much more to him than you know, especially now that he's sitting beside you with his hand intertwined with yours.

He wants to be with you. Wants to receive love for the first time in his life. He knows he isn't cut out for it but would it be so bad if he gave in? Just for tonight?

When the clock strikes midnight Gyutaro's body moves on its own. Chasing the one thing he's craved for his entire life, even though he doesn't deserve it. All of the terrible things he's done, all of the people he's hurt, killed, eaten.

But he just wants to be happy.

Your body jolts in surprise as you feel a pair of strong hands grab your face and pull you forward until your lips collide with Gyutaro's.

It took you by surprise, but you quickly relaxed into the kiss. Savoring the moment you've sought after ever since you found out about him.

Your touch feels so good. So addicting.

He knows there's no going back after this. There's no way in hell he'll be able to go on without having more of you. More of your affection, your attention, and the sweet words that come out of your mouth. He needs it all.

So he takes a leap of faith. Removing your blindfold, knowing that once this kiss ends you'll open your eyes and see his hideous face.

He holds you closer, squeezing his eyes tight and colliding his lips harder with yours. Doing whatever he can to lengthen the kiss and prolong you opening your eyes.

Maybe this was a mistake after all.

But you can't help but giggle into the kiss as he desperately tries to kiss you longer.

He's prolonged it as long as he can, and he finally opens his eyes.

Only to see that yours are already open. And... you're still kissing him.

[misayani]

I LOVED UR SE-MI FIC! i was wondering if u could do another where the reader is homesick and has nightmares/ dreams about her friends and her home life and just going to se-mi's bed for comfort? (I hope this isn't too much trouble!!)

LOVE, MY WORLD IS FULL — SE-MI (PLAYER 380)

◜ pairing ... se-mi / player 380 x  fem reader

◜you wouldn't know what to do without se-mi. 

𔗨 author's note — had so much fun writing this <3 kinda unleashed my inner william shakespeareness in this one [lowercase intended]

♡ upcoming fic — g!p no-eul + reader

— comfort

you thought the games were harmless—bright colors, cheerful instructions, and an unassuming entry form. yet underneath all that promised fun lay a rather horrifying truth. you were blinded, not by sight but by your own naivety. 

how could you be so dumb? you should've known this game was sketchy ever since from the start, where they somehow made you all unconcious to bring to this place. where even are you? 

life is full of shit, you were fully aware of that, but you didn't expect it to be this shitty. tears started to form in your eyes as you thought of your dog, sparks, who's the reason why you're here. you didn't have any owe anyone money, you don't drag yourself to shit like that. but sparks was the dog your grandmother left you before she died, and unfortunately, sparks was recently diagnosed with congestive heart failure— he needed medical help. 

if someone can hear your thoughts right now, they'd probably laugh and tell you that it's just a dog, stop overreacting. but sparks wasn't just a dog. he grew up with you, he is family. he was the reason you kept going after your grandmother died, you could remember it—you locking yourself inside your room and not coming out for days, until you heard whines outside your door. shit, the dog. it annoyed you that you still needed to feed that dog. what's the point? he's gonna die anyways. just like everyone. 

a quiet sob escapes your mouth as your tears finally fall, from your eyes and onto the white sheets underneath you. you couldn't sleep, you were too bothered as to how so many people voted to stay in this game. you couldn't even even consider it a game, games were supposed to be fun. 

you voted to go home right after the first game, the staying team won. this night was after everyone voted for the second time, once again, the majority voted to stay. you find it funny— how money can have such an affect on people, but also at the same time, you couldn't blame the people who wanted to stay. maybe staying here was somehow better than their lives outside. they just had voted for their own 'lesser evil.' 

you needed someone right now. after being alone for 14 years, living independently, it was hard for you to bottle your feelings to yourself. the first person you can think of right now was se-mi. you had started talking to her before any of these games started, when the masked men just started explaining the rules and regulations. 

she was different, she understood you. she had asked you your reason to be here, you hesitantly told her, slightly embarassed but she didn't laugh or anything like that. she, in fact, smiled at your eagerness to win this game so you'd finally have some finance for your dog. well, that was before the games happened and before shit went down. 

you sniffle as you sit up and slip out of bed, every footstep quiet to not bother anyone sleeping. se-mi was just stairs ahead from you and you were surprised but relieved to see her still awake. she was laying on her back, staring towards the ceiling before she notices you and sits up to make room for you to sit down.

"hi," you start, gently sitting yourself down on her bed. 

"hi." she repeats, her eyes softening at the sight of your puffy eyes, "sparks?" 

you glanced at her, eyes wide as she managed to immediately caught onto whatever you were thinking. you nod, "i'm sorry for bothering you, just needed someone. and i thought you're the right person to approach."

se-mi's heart swells, she never had anyone tell her that before. you trusted her enough to see you vulnerable like this? she clears her throat before reassuring you, "it's no worries. i like talking to you anyways."

she scoots closer to sit beside you, planting her feet on the stairs beside the bunk bed. you fiddled with your fingers as you look down, before you hear her speak up. "i'm sorry for voting to stay."

you snap your head to look at her as you shake your head, "no, no. i don't— you don't have to say sorry for having freedom to choose whatever you want." you mutter.

"still, it was shitty for me to do that. i knew about your situation but i still vo—" you cut her off, "stop. it's not your fault. it's nobody's." she locks eyes with you as her lips part as if wanting to say something, until it closes again.

you sigh, "who cares if you were shitty. everything is shitty. life is shitty." you murmured, "life is shitty." she agrees, staring at your side profile. you noticed her in your peripheral vision and you get flustered, tipping your head down.

"it's hard." you glance at her again, seeing her eyes now staring forward as she spoke, "life outside. it's no different from here. some people say that life outside of here is easier, since you're not trapped in some unknown place. but i don't see how that is any different, aren't you still somehow trapped? not literally but figuratively." you hum, prompting her to continue.

"it's ironic how the ones with the heavy debts say that, as if they're not trapped in their own mistakes." se-mi chuckles beside you as you carefully listen to every word she's saying. talking to someone have always made you feel at peace— something that you don't feel often since you've never really communicated with anyone until now. 

"it's not about being physically imprisoned, but about feeling constrained in many ways, whether by circumstances, expectations, or some shit you dragged yourself into. in the end, no matter where you are, you can still feel confined. that's how i see it, atleast." she finishes.

you grab her hand that was closest to you, and started fidgeting with it instead of fiddling with your own fingers. her hand was warm but rough, in contrast to yours which was cold, but soft. "i understand." you murmur.

you both understood each other, and that alone was enough to provide you comfort. you admired her mindset, not just how  she thinks but how she embraces her own perspective with peace— her ability to see things from a different angle, yet still find peace in it. 

even if you both had casted your votings to two opposing things, there was an underspoken understanding between the two of you. despite the differences, se-mi and you shared a mutual respect, and that makes you so close to her. 

"thank you." you whispered, se-mi snaps her head to look at you, "for what?" 

"talking to me." you reply, "it feels nice to talk to someone like you, understanding but aren't scared to state their own opinion. i appreciate that so much. i haven't felt so understood in years." you feel tears well up in your eyes from getting emotional.

se-mi's lips form into a smile, "well i guess thank you too. you somehow make this place even more tolerable." she squeezes your hand that was holding hers. 

"cmon, stay with me tonight. i don't want to make you go back to bed like this." she tugs at your hand before leading you under her blanket—which started to smell like her— lifting the cloth over the both of you. 

you wanted to cuddle with her, but were too shy to initiate anything. lucky for you, se-mi opens her arms, pulling you towards her. your body relaxes as you feel her warm body spoon yours. you heard her mutter something on top of your head, "keep on being brave." she pauses before continuing,  "for sparks and me."

your once empty heart started to feel full again after this.

@misayani

[sturnslutz]

matt assigns you a specific job.

heh. dilfceo!matt dare i say? lowk long fic to make up for lost time of matt and bee. im sorry if this is horrible it took me 6 hours to write it☹️ fluff and smut.

it was another day at work for you. come in, work on whatever you needed to, and see your oh, so favorite boss. matt and you continued seeing each other secretly but never actually fucking. it mostly consisted of dirty words getting passed back and forth, you giving him blowjobs, and kissing.

sure, you loved it all. but you just couldn't seem to get the fact out of your mind that matt hasn't actually pleasured you, once. he acts like he wants to, but in all seriousness you both really haven't had the time, and from his words, he wants to "take his time with you."

you weren't sure what he meant, but you weren't hesitant on waiting. just becoming more impatient by each day passing.

you were in the middle of writing some email when you got a text. you were allowed to be on your phone while working, but you just preferred not to, and your friends were aware of that so they knew not to text you unless it was an emergency.

so when you got the notification, to no surprise you were confused. you stopped typing and picked up your phone and looked at the name. 'Matthew Sturniolo (work ;))'

you looked at your phone even more confused as you open up the text.

"Come to my office when you can."

you weren't necessarily busy, so you just decided to go now. sure, you guys do something almost everytime you go into his office, but other times, he did actually need something from you as his assistant that didn't consist of getting his dick sucked.

you knocked on his door softly, waiting for his response. you heard a simple, "come in." and you walked in with a certain caution you rarely get. not because of matt, but because he texted you. even coming from him, the guy who made you suck his dick the first time meeting you, it seemed "unprofessional" to him.

you walked to his desk as he doesn't take his eyes off his computer. "sit, it won't take long." you sit in the chair across him and he finally lets his big blue dark eyes look up at you through his glasses. "are you good with kids?" he states calmly, but almost making you choke on your own breath from the abrupt question.

"a-am i what?" you state, looking up at him with the most confusion all day. why is he asking you this? "good with kids. you got any siblings or anything?" he says again, calmly, taking his glasses off so he can get a better look at your expression.

"um, no. i don't have any siblings, but i have babysat a couple times. wait- why are you asking me this? matt. are you asking because you think im pregnant?" you whisper the last sentence as if anyone else is in the room, cautious of what he might say, despite never fucking once so there's absolutely no possibility you're pregnant.

"what? no. we haven't had sex, bee. you wouldn't be able to be pregnant unless you were seeing someone else. besides that, i'm asking because i need someone to watch my 6 year old daughter tomorrow night. i'm going out with a couple friends and my brothers aren't available to watch her, so i'm asking you, the next person i trust."

your jaw quite literally dropped. "matt, you just dropped some crazy info to me. you've literally never told me anything about your family before! when the hell did you get a daughter, you have siblings, and you trust me? wait, im gonna need to take a breath. but i don't know i'm not seeing anybody else i just panicked!" you rant to him with your questions.

he chuckled softly at you. "yes, bee. i trust you. and yes, i do have a daughter. her mom and i broke up about 2 years ago, when i was 26 and now it's just me and my girl, amelia. i also have 3 brothers, 1 of them being my half brother, but the other 2 and i are triplets. my half brother is justin, and my brothers are nick and chris. you'll probably meet them one day."

you nod, taking in all the information and calmed down. "okay.. um, i think i can tomorrow. would you want me to stay the night with her also?"

he shrugs. "i'm not sure yet. i'll probably leave around 6 and possibly be back late. if you wanna stay after she falls asleep, you can sleep in my bed. i'll pay you anyways. she's a really chaotic kid so you might fall asleep right after she does." he laughs at the memory of his daughter being so energetic.

"you don't have to pay me, it's fine, really." you say, trying to reassure him. sure, you needed the money and would love to make some especially as a college student, but you didn't want him to feel obliged to.

"don't worry about it, bee. i know you need it, and it's the least i can do if i haven't fucked you yet after you've sucked me off multiple times." he says with a certain calmness and smirk. "don't think its not happening soon though, kid."

you nod, smiling and looking down at your palms, unsure of what to say. "i'll text you the address and everything she needs. i'm sure she'll like you." he reassures you. "you can go on your lunch soon and get off early, i don't need anything else done today. just finish whatever you were doing before and go on your break."

you nod again, looking up at him. he had a very calming demeanor today which helped a lot with your worries. "c'mere, kid." you stand up and walk to him and he turns his chair, facing you as he looks up and grabs your jaw and kisses you softly. "you're gonna be great, bee." he mutters against your lips and kisses you once again before patting your cheek and you pull away.

you couldn't deny the heat rushing to your face at the kind words, something you rarely see out of him. it's not like he's ever mean to you, he just usually as a more professional, non-smiling side around others, even you sometimes. you notice that demeanor polishing off him once the conversation directed towards his daughter.

you walked out of the office and finished sending a couple emails, and leaving for your break. you go to a cafe you and matt have visited a couple times and order your usual. you quickly texted him if he wanted something, to which he reacted a thumbs up to. it wasn't much, just a plain black coffee and blueberry scone. you got everything and sat down near the window, watching the buzzling city just outside.

you got back to the office and clocked in, and knocked on his door once again and walked in, delivering his coffee and scone, to which he kissed you again and said thank you.

you got back to work, not having too much to do and clocked out once again about an hour later and head back home.

the next day, you walk into the office and knock on matt's door, just like usual. he lets you come in, and he looks up. "good morning, bee." you smile softly at him as you walk up to him, rubbing his shoulders from behind his chair and kiss his cheek.

"morning. so, i checked my plans and i'm free tonight for amelia. so, do you want me to come in around 5:30?" he nods, "yeah, 5:30's fine. it gives me time to show you where everything is and for you girls to get to know each other a bit before i leave. i'm telling you, i think she'll like you especially because you're younger than everyone else around her, besides her friends. me and my brothers are 28 and the other 35. her mom's 27 too."

"i'm not that young, matt. i'm only 22." you roll your eyes. he always loves getting a tease of you being younger than everyone at the company, despite also being one of the smartest there. "i know baby, 'm jus' teasin'," he says as he kisses you softly, smiling against your lips. "i'll text you everything when i'm done with all this and then you can just head out again whenever you're done and get ready."

with a final couple words, you leave and begin working on whatever needed to be done. you clocked out about a couple hours after that, not even taking your break so you wouldn't be missing too much.

you went home and got a text from matt which just gave the basics. his address, the time, and stating how you can bring pretty much whatever you would like to keep you busy when amelia and you weren't too busy.

you got ready into some basic clothes, something matt hasn't ever seen you in. you drive to his house and notice how big and extravagant his house is compared to your small apartment. you knock a couple times, waiting for the man to open the door, but instead was met by a little girl, no more than 3 feet with brown curly hair and big blue eyes just like matt.

"hi! you're bee, right? daddy said you were watching me tonight!" she says, smiling up at you with her big, pearly white teeth. you nod, already overwhelmed by how cute she is and she looks almost identical to matt.

"hi, yes i am. you must be amelia, right? such a pretty name for such a pretty girl." she nods and giggles as she opens the door wider for you. you walk in, and step out of your shoes and see matt appear from around the corner. he was wearing his familiar glasses he usually wore, but he was wearing a white long sleeve and a pair of black sweatpants and smiled softly at you.

"hey, bee." you smiled back at him and close the door as amelia rushes back to the couch. you walk up to him as he kisses your forehead sweetly. "c'mon. i'll give you a tour before i go." he takes your bag and sets it down on the couch and gives you a small tour of the house. he shows you where amelia's room is, where all the snacks are, where his room is and all the other basic stuff.

once it was time for him to go, he brought you both back to the living room to say bye to amelia. "lia, c'mere." he says as he stands next to the couch, grabbing his bag and adjusting his clothes. she plops off the couch and runs to him, gripping onto his leg as he lifts her up and kisses her cheek. "i'll be back late, tonight, okay? be nice to bee, and don't break anything. same rules when your uncles stay with you, okay? be good." he kisses her forehead once again and she nods as he sets her on the ground.

he looks to you, and kisses your forehead while holding your hip tightly as amelia runs back to the couch, not wanting to miss a moment of her precious bluey. "jus' give her food at around 8:30. there's some leftover food from last night, but if you don't want it, you can order food to the house or make some, whatever you prefer. she usually lets me know whenever she's tired so just let her eat and watch tv and she'll probably be passed out after. if you stay the night, let me know."

you nod at everything he says, and he says his goodbyes and walks out. you plop down on the couch next to amelia as she starts ranting about whatever her 6 year old self has to say. you listen intently, even if some of the things she says doesn't make sense.

once she relaxes a bit, you ask if she wants some food, and get up and warm up some of the leftover food they had. you made some for yourself, and brought over a couple snacks for the two of you and watched some more bluey.

you finally notice her getting a bit more tired, so you bring the now empty plates to the sink, and make a mental note to wash them after she falls asleep. "bee.. im tired." she mutters as she rubs her eyes. "let's get you in bed, baby." you say softly as you pick her up and carry her to her room. you don't turn on the big light for the sake of yours and her's eyes, so you walk over to her bedside light and turn it on, the soft, warm light radiating throughout the room.

you set her down on her soft bed, as she rubs her eyes again. "where are your pajamas, sweet girl? which drawer?" she opens her eyes faintly and points to the middle one of her 3 tier pink and red dresser. you walk over and grab out a soft, light blue matching set which had a mermaid on it.

"do y'like this one?" you hold it up for her to see and she opens her eyes again and nods. you walk back over and help her get changed. you toss her worn clothes into her hamper. you turn her around so her back is facing you, and grab her brush that was on her bedside. you take out her well-done braids and brush her soft brown hair while humming a soft melody.

she practically falls asleep at this and when you're done, you help tuck her into her bed. she laid on her stomach, so you sat in a criss cross position and scratched her back and head softly so she could go to sleep while still humming the same melody.

once you heard her soft snores, you rubbed her back a couple times more to soothe the scratches, and stood up and turned off her light. you closed the door quietly and made your way to the kitchen and began washing the dishes.

you obviously knew you didn't have to, but it felt the best to do. once you were finished and put the dishes in the washer, and tidied around the house a bit, you washed your hands and made your way to your bag. you planned on staying the night as you didn't feel very comfortable leaving amelia all on her own, so you brought some extra clothes. you made your way to matt's bathroom and washed your face and got changed.

you noticed a couple tampon boxes next to the toilet which were half full, but brushed away the weird feeling you got, as it's probably matt's ex girlfriend's. you knew it wasn't right to feel jealous over some guy, who was more importantly your boss, whom you sucked him off a couple times.

you finished getting ready and made your way to matt's room. it was dimly lit with an identical light to amelia's. you set your bag down on his desk, and noticed how clean his room was. the faint smell of his cologne lingered around and filled your nostrils as you took a few, calm breaths.

you made your way to his bed, and pulled out your phone to let him know everything.

"hey, i hope you're having a good night. just to let u know, im staying the night if that's alright. i fed lia and put her to sleep, she was an angel all night. i ate some of the food i warmed up for her also. i washed the dishes btw, it was no biggie. im prob heading to sleep soon."

you typed out while you set your phone to the side as you turned on his tv to watch something before you sleep. about 10 minutes into watching, you heard a text emit from your phone.

"Hey, everything's great, thank you. You're more than welcome to stay, don't worry. I'm glad she was good, and I'm glad the both of you ate. Bee, you know you didn't have to wash them, but thank you. I'll honestly probably be home soon, maybe in like an hour. I'll see you."

you heart his message before turning off the tv and calling it a night. you knew you would probably wake up when matt gets home. deep into your sleep, you couldn't hear the soft opening and closing of the front door. matt had walked in with such quietness, you would need to be right next to him to hear it.

he set his stuff on the table, and noticed how much cleaner the house was than before he left and cursed himself for allowing you to do that. on the way home, he just couldn't take his mind off you. he remembered the conversation you guys had the day before and how he noticed your shyness towards him when he mentioned how the two of you never had sex.

of course he wanted to, but he felt like he wouldn't be good enough for you since he hadn't fucked a girl in 2 years. but he decided to truly go ahead with his words and give you the pleasure he and you both realized you should be getting in whatever the two of you were, even if it wasn't a relationship.

once he dropped his stuff down, he made his way up the stairs and walked into amelia's room to check on her. he opened her door and noticed how her clothes were changed and how again, the room looks tidier.

he closed the door and made his way into the bathroom to get ready for bed. he noticed the lingering smell of your perfume and couldn't tear his thoughts away from you, and neither could his growing hardness. he scoffed at himself and finished getting ready.

once he was done, he quietly entered his room, and noticed you sleeping peacefully. he got into bed and rubbed your back. "bee, it's me." you hummed and rubbed your eyes, looking at him. "oh hey. how was your night?" you say, your voice scratchy. he laughs softly at this as he brushes a few hairs out of your face.

"it was good, baby. i couldn't tear my thoughts away from you though, the whole night." he says smirking. "oh yeah?" you say with a newfound confidence. "what were you thinking about?" you say as you turn onto your elbow, looking up at him.

he tsks teasingly. "mm. too dirty to say. maybe i should show it instead?" he says, rubbing your cheek. "matt, amelia's right next door." he shrugs. "so? we'll be quiet." you sigh, a smirk forming on your lips. you start putting your hair up, thinking it was going to be the usual blowjob, but his hand stops you. "no, no. i would love that, trust me. but, i wanna fuck you instead, if thats okay."

your eyes widen at this. "w-wait. are you sure? we don't have to. i mean of course it's okay, and i would love it but-" "yes, bee. i feel like i should be the one worrying about all this." he laughs.

"are you a virgin?" he continues and you shake your head no. he nods and kisses you softly. as time goes, and breaths get heavier, most of the two of yours clothes have been discarded onto the ground, leaving you in your bra and panties, and him in his boxers.

he's painfully hard right right now and you straddling him with your wetness isn't making it easier for him. you're grinding yourself on him as you both kiss each other deeply, your tongues intertwining."mmph- bee, stop. needa fuck you." he says, muffled as he can't tear his lips away. he reaches around, undoing your bra and pulling his lips away so he can see your tits pool down.

his eyes fill with lust as he latches his mouth around your tit, making you moan softly. he reaches his hand down, rubbing your clothed clit, eliciting another moan from you. he pushes aside your panties and slips his fingers inside you. you let out a high-pitched squeal and bury your head into his shoulder.

his fingers slip in and out of you effortlessly as he finally pulls his mouth away from your right tit and moves to your left, sucking and licking on it. as you get close to your release, he goes faster and pulls his mouth off your chest. "go 'head, baby. cum all over my fingers." with a final muffled moan into his chest, your juice gets all over his fingers as he slows his movements, riding out your high as he pulls them out, and brings them to his mouth and licks them clean and groans.

"fuck, you taste amazing." you look up at him with a flushed face, mascara already dripping down your face. his cock was painfully hard and twitching even inside his boxers, waiting for release. you moved your hand down and latched your fingers into his waistband and pulled it down, letting his long length hit his stomach.

he groans softly as you lift yourself on top of him, wasting no time to sink down. the both of you moan deeply as you lower yourself, inch by inch, until you sit fully on top of him. his fingers are gripping into your hips so hard, you're sure it'll leave marks.

"take your time, baby. get adjusted." he says through a groan. as much as he would love to fuck you reckless right now, he knows you need a bit to adjust, and the two of you need to be quiet for dear amelia right next door.

you nod and start moving up and down him slowly, your fingers gripping into his shoulders for stability. he helps you move and watches the way your pussy swallows him completely like he was made for you.

your movements grow faster and your moans increase. the headboard hits the wall continuously so you slow your movements so it doesn't hit too hard.

he can tell your getting close again by the way you hold your breath and the way you dig your nails into his shoulders. he's close too, so he forgets about the cautious movements and halts your body and thrusts into you, the wall sure to have marks.

"matt!" you say, squealing again. "shut up, bee." he says, drilling into you. he didn't mean his mean words and you knew that, he was just so focused on the two of you getting your release.

"fuck- matt i'm cumming!" you say, clenching up as he nods, groaning and halting his movements, filling you with his release to the brim. once he was finished, he pulled you off him, letting you fall back into the bed carefully.

he had some tissues next to him so he leaned over and spread your thighs open, cleaning you carefully as you wince. "i know, i know. 'm sorry, baby." he throws them on the ground as he grabs some more and cleans himself up, and then drags his boxers back up.

he notices the distress in your face as your panties were now dirty, and he stands up and grabs a pair of his boxers and hands them to you. "y'can have tomorrow off, so you can rest by the way." he says as he lays back down.

"yeah, thanks boss." you laugh as you toss your shirt back on. he rolls his eyes and smirks as he grabs a waterbottle next to him and hands it to you. as you drink it, your movements are halted by a few gentle knocks on the door. "daddy?" a small voice is said from behind the door. you and matt look at each other as he tosses his shirt back on and cover the two of you with the blanket.

"yes, lia? you can come in baby." he says, rubbing his face. the door opens and a small figure walks in with her holding her stuffed bear and her hair going in every direction. "are you guys okay? i woke up from banging on the wall and i heard bee screaming." his face drops as he realizes he actually woke his daughter up. "yes, we're okay baby. 'm sorry we woke you up, c'mere." he gestures for her to get closer to the bed as her feet patter against the ground and reach the bed.

he kisses her forehead and rubs her head as he whispers reassuring words into her ears. he looks over at you for your response as her big eyes look over. "yes, lia. i promise i'm okay. im sorry we woke you up also." she smiles softly. "it's okay." matt gives her one last kiss on the forehead before she walks out and closes the door.

he huffs and falls back on the bed. "sorry i woke her up." you mutter softly and he looks over, his face softening. "don't worry about it. we both did, actually. and she falls asleep fast, i guarantee you she won't remember in the morning." you nod as you take a deep breath.

"y'alright though?" you nod again to his question. "jus' tired." he nods. "me too. let's get some sleep." he kisses your lips one last time before you rest your head on his chest and fall asleep.

this took WAY longer than it needed to. started writing at 8:30pm, it's currently 2:18am. so if this is horrible i apologize.

@muwapsturniolo @lovergirl4gracieabrams @m4ttg1rl @lypsiiii @tyummyz @sturniqlo @emely9274 @shadowthesim @mattsobvimyfav @sturnl0ve @wastelandzella @fallininlust @chrisslut04 @sophand4 @vainilladollie @slutforchrissturniolo2 @ncm9696 @snoopychris comment to be added or removed.

[undertalerainbow]

Can you get the... | Animatic Meme | Asriel and Chara Dynamic Concept

When hearing this audio, it helped me a lot to figure out the dynamic I wanted with these two characters. With how long Undertale has been around most of what'd been done with these characters has already been done, so what I'm doing may not be new but it isn't something seen a lot so I hope y'all will like the concept. Asriel and Chara have a lot of care for one another, but that doesn't mean there aren't flaws. Chara in Undertale Rainbow didn't fall down in the best state of mind which still affected them even when they were fully integrated with the Dreemur family. As a result, Asriel made it his mission to make Chara the happiest kid in the Underground. Thus they fell into the role of Asriel being an indulgent caretaker of Chara, saying yes to every request. Whilst Chara, never had that support and is still a child at the end of the day, took advantage of it. This dynamic might've been fine if they lived long enough to grow out of it, but this was a toxic combination once the Buttercup idea filled Chara's head. I want to be very clear: BOTH are responsible for their fates. Chara knew what they were doing and shouldn't have asked that of Asriel. And Asriel knew this was too far and should've stopped. The buttercups didn't instantly kill Chara after one dose, and they needed more and more over the course of DAYS to kill them, but Asriel never stopped this once, and Chara of course egged it on too. But that's not the only thing. It's one thing to aid in this, after all, it's for a good cause freeing everyone from the underground, but that didn't happen. Asriel couldn't kill those humans out of fear and his kind heart. This just wasted Chara's sacrifice and became the catalyst of so much heartbreak and other sufferings in the Underground. As the EPIC: Musical song Ruthlessness would put it: "You are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great. A Greek who reeks of false righteousness, that's what I hate. 'Cause you fight to save lives but won't kill and don't get the job done.". There was no room for half-measures here, he had to either be all in or stop it in its tracks. He did neither, now they're both in limbo. Neither blames the other for what happened, rather they blame themselves. Asriel wished he wasn't such a coward and had just done what Chara said, or even better yet said no to Chara so they could be a family still. Meanwhile, Chara wished they hadn't asked this of Asriel, they knew what he was like and still did this anyway. It was cruel to put him in this position, thus they see themselves as a corruptor or better yet a demon. This is what the final frame means, not what others think of them nor what is true, but rather what they think of themselves. They both wanted to play hero till reality slapped them in the face. Now no one's happy. I thought making Asriel more of a caretaker personality instead of "owo crybaby who can't do anything wrong" that I've seen growing up would be refreshing to write. Plus it also translates well to flowey, as flowey was a guardian/caretaker of a sorts for all the kids, whether they liked it or not. Like he was watching over Frisk from the distance like a damn mother hen- Cowardice is going to be a huge theme for Asriel and Flowey in the story, which is a flaw gained by his father and something he needs to overcome. I hope you like the Animatic and the concept, sorry for the long read, if you made it to the end you earned a yippee Clover

This yippee clover was made by tbh-daily, this is not mine

[park-jimin-isnt-real]

"edge of tonight" part seventeen ~ the withdrawal

pairing: namjoon x reader (lots of platonic ot7 x reader) rating: T 16+ genre: mafia au, angst this part: Maybe you should go back. tw: mafia au!, angst, swearing, talk of dissociation, jimin is an asshole, i cannot stress enough how much you will not like jimin by the end of this chapter (you'll love him by the end of the next one), jungkook is a sweetheart and we don't deserve him word count: ~7.6k track #20: Addicted ~ Kelly Clarkson: “It's like I'm lost, it's like I'm giving up slowly.” the edge of tonight masterlist an: special thanks to everyone who stuck around long enough for this update. sorry it's late. life happens. but better late than never i guess! please let me know what you think! a little comment or dm goes a long way to helping me get through writing the next parts. thank you so much for reading!!

You stared back at your reflection in the window until it disappeared, the world outside becoming brighter. You didn't even bother trying to sleep; still in your dress, heels abandoned by the bed, arms wrapped around your legs as if that alone would protect you from your demons.

Today was going to be a bad day.

This was going to be the kind of day where, were you still in Busan, Jackson would smile and handle you gently. He wouldn't raise his voice, wouldn't bring anything up to remind you of your past. These types of days, you would be a ghost, and they were Jackson's favorite days.

But Jackson wasn't here. Jackson wasn't talking to you. Jackson wouldn’t walk you from one couch to another, wouldn't feed you small bits of kimchi, wouldn't take care of you the way you couldn't take care of yourself.

You'd hardly had any days like this since coming to Seoul, but even when you did you were still able to call Jackson. It wasn't the same, you being curled up all alone on your shitty couch in your shitty apartment, Jackson's voice crackling through the receiver instead of whispering gently into your ear.

He wasn't there, but you still had him.

Now you didn't have anything.

There was a knock outside your door. You didn't respond, hoping whoever it was would think you were still asleep and leave you be. A few minutes passed—and you thought you had been left alone once more—before you heard the last voice you wanted to.

"I know you're awake, beautiful," Park's overly cheery voice rang through the open crack. "You can either open the door on your own, or I can huff and puff and blow it down!"

A frustrated groan managed its way out of your throat, and you simply dropped your head into your arms. Maybe if you kept ignoring him, he'd take the hint and go away?

You felt the door being opened more than you heard it. "Fun night?" Park asked, walking in despite not being invited. You knew you looked terrible, and you knew that he knew, based on your appearance alone, that you did not have a fun night.

You still didn't respond, still hoping that the silent treatment would work, but you also knew that the chance was slim. He was proving to be as annoying as Jackson. Your arms squeezed a little tighter at the comparison. Park wasn't Jackson, he couldn't do for you what Jackson did.

But he might be the closest you could get right now.

"Come on, beautiful," Park continued talking to you even though you weren't answering back. "Let's get you in the shower."

A soft and warm hand grabbed at one of yours and started pulling you up. It was his touch that finally broke you from your near-frozen state. "Don't touch me!" You ripped your hand away, looking up to glare at him.

You were only met with a bright smile, but it didn't meet his eyes. "There you are! For a minute there, I was wondering if Choi Jaeseong actually managed to break you." You couldn't hide the flinch at the mention of Choi's name. His smile faded. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Now come on," he repeated, this time gesturing to the bathroom. "Shower time."

You tried moving away from him more, but you hadn't moved in hours and your limbs were too stiff to act quickly. Still, you spat out, "I can take care of myself."

Park looked you up and down several times, skepticism practically radiating out of him. "You might wanna try that line again when you don't look like last night's leftovers."

The amount of rage-fueled adrenaline that started coursing through you was something you hadn't experienced often and was usually only brought about by something Rosé's ex-boyfriend said or did. But Park's comment was enough to get your heart rate up and your body moving, if only to try and kill him.

"Get! Out!" You yelled, grabbing the pillow you used on the couch and hurling it at him. Park simply caught it and tossed it back onto the couch.

"Shower," he told you again, but at least he was headed towards the door this time. "You have half an hour before I come back and drag you downstairs for breakfast, regardless of what state you're in!"

"Fuck off, Park!" He had mostly closed the door behind him and you could hear his footsteps get further away, but you swore you could hear a snicker at your screamed explicative.

"Half an hour!" He called in return, his voice considerably quieter due to the distance now between you.

You rolled your eyes, not even willing to consider that his threat was real. But he did also seem like the exact person who would pull you from the middle of your shower and take you to the kitchen, half-covered in suds and only wrapped in a towel, so maybe you should treat it with some level of solemnity.

You started stretching your body out, realizing just how uncomfortable your position had been all night. Once you felt okay enough to stand, you went to the bathroom and turned the shower on.

┈     ┈     ┈     ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟     ┈     ┈     ┈

"Morning," Taehyung greeted you as you walked into the kitchen half an hour later, not looking up from his phone. Park was at the stove, apron on, flipping pancakes onto a plate.

"Hey," you responded, walking to the island but not taking a seat. Tae moved one over from his stool, probably giving you some more room. You could also sense the tension between the two of them, and you wondered briefly if it was the same problem from the beginning of the year.

Park looked over his shoulder as he turned the stove off. "Damn, you look way better," he smirked. "You're welcome."

You crossed your arms, trying not to explode at him. "I didn't ask for your help."

"But you needed it." He picked up the plate of pancakes and turned, placing it in the center of the island. "Eat up!" He said with an overly bright smile. Taehyung rolled his eyes.

You stood still. "How do I know you didn't poison them?"

Park's smile didn't drop, but it did turn the tiniest bit sharp. "Seriously?" You didn't react, waiting for him to make a move. He stared you down only for another moment, then picked up the top pancake with his hand and shoved nearly half of it in his mouth.

You waited until he had swallowed before speaking again. "That doesn't tell me anything."

"Oh my god." Now his smile dropped and he had to take a deep breath to keep himself in check. "Y/N, I admit that I am not Jin-hyung in the kitchen, but I'm also not Namjoon-hyung." He picked the plate up again, moving it closer to you and dropping it enough to hear the glass rattle a bit. "Eat the goddamn pancakes."

Park took off the apron, balling it up and leaving it on the counter, then walked past you on his way out of the kitchen. You waited just a bit longer before meandering your way over to the island to poke at the food.

"I watched him make them," Tae spoke up for the first time since seeing you. "He didn't poison them." He still didn't look at you, and it was a little weird how he hardly ever did when he talked to you, but you supposed that was part of his whole thing.

"Is he always like this?" You asked in return. Jungkook kept trying to tell you Jimin-hyung is actually really nice but you just couldn't see it. Taehyung took his own deep breath.

"No," he answered, "he really isn't. Jimin is normally very nice and considerate and understanding, while still being a little shit."

You finally sat down and pulled the pancake plate to you as you listened. "How come he's being a big shit when it comes to me?" You picked up the half-eaten pancake that Park left and started ripping it into smaller pieces to eat.

"Because he thinks he's helping, and I understand why he's doing it but I don't agree with the execution. He should be a lot nicer to you."

You didn't want to admit that the pancake was good. Not Jin good, but good. No traces of poison anywhere to be found. You didn't really think that Park would try to poison you, but you just didn't understand why this one person just couldn't give you the same space that the rest of the members had.

"Why's he doing it then? Why isn't he being nicer?"

Taehyung sighed and didn't answer you for a moment. He put his phone down but still refused to look at you. “Ultimately, that's not my story to tell,” he said. “You'll need to ask Jimin yourself.”

“Ask me what?” The devil himself asked as he came back into the kitchen. You barely spared him a glance and noticed he had changed into his usual suit get-up, hair parted perfectly to expose his forehead.

If you were different people, it would've been attractive.

“And where are you off to?” Taehyung asked as you took another bite of pancake, hoping it would keep Park from talking to you.

“Hot date,” the answer came, and you were surprised by the anger that started coming from the man next to you. They were friends and had a strange bond, but you couldn't help wondering what was so wrong about Park going out that had Taehyung all worked up.

The cruel voice in your head tried suggesting that you and Park were more alike than you'd like to believe, and Taehyung was his Jackson. You shut that thought out before it could gain root. Even if you were right, you didn't need to gain any sympathy for Park and how he was treating you.

“Have fun, you two!” The bastard called as he headed out the door.

“Doing what?!” Taehyung yelled back before the door could fully close. Park only stuck his head back in, a stupid, cheeky grin on his stupid face.

“Make sure she doesn't dissociate.” The door closed fully faster than you could fling a stupid pancake at him for the comment. Taehyung dropped his head into his hands, giving up, as you both heard the garage opening and Park starting his car and driving off.

“I am going to kill him one of these days,” you said around a pancake bite.

Taehyung only sighed again but looked at you this time. “I’ll let you beat him up a bit, how's that?”

┈     ┈     ┈     ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟     ┈     ┈     ┈

You were getting tired again. You could feel it in your soul, in that weight you carried no matter where you went. You were tired of all the late nights, the bad sex, the lack of relevant information. The only thing that had kept you so present lately was Park's now daily pestering.

Honestly, If it weren't for fucking Park and his fucking meddling, you would've become that ghost of yourself Jackson loved so much. And then maybe Jackson would've sensed that change in you and would've unblocked you by now and you'd be talking to him again but noooooo. Park just had to keep pushing every button to get you angry, and if there was one thing that cut through your bone-deep weariness, it was your anger.

It was this dissonance in your head that kept you from really focusing on whatever theory you, Namjoon, and Jungkook were trying to figure out at that moment. After the third round of repeated questions and gentle shoulder touches to bring you back, Namjoon softly suggested that maybe you take a break.

“Jungkook and I can keep working on this if you want to go do something else?” His tone was nothing but genuine concern, but the words themselves reminded you too much of similar things Jackson had told you.

“You don't have to be here, you can go train or something.”

As sympathetic as his suggestion was supposed to be, Namjoon only made you feel that tired more.

“Come to the gym with me tomorrow.”

Both your head and Namjoon's snapped to the youngest in surprise, not expecting him to speak up, much less offer anything.

“Why?” You asked. In the almost three months you had spent living with them, Jungkook had never invited you to his gym before.

He didn't immediately answer you like he usually did. Instead, his eyes flicked between you and Namjoon several times, bottom lip bitten due to nerves.

“I was told not to tell you why or who told me to ask you,” he finally said. Namjoon only looked more confused, but that tired you were just barely feeling switched over to the anger.

“Why?” Namjoon echoed your question but you could already guess the who and the why.

“Park can ask me to do things himself, instead of getting you to do his dirty work.” Your only immediate regret was that your tone made Jungkook flinch back from you the smallest amount.

“Jimin-hyung thought the suggestion would be better coming from me,” he explained quietly, trying not to upset you further. It made you feel worse about accidentally taking your anger out on him. Jungkook didn't deserve that.

So you turned to Namjoon instead, who also didn't deserve it but could at least throw it back at you if you went too far. It was a skill every gang leader needed.

“Can you get Park to back off? I'm perfectly fine without his help.”

Namjoon sighed, clearly already done with the topic at hand. “I've talked with Jimin several times already, as have most other members. I don't think there's any stopping him at this point.”

You threw your head back with a groan. “I just want to be left alone! Is that really so much to ask?”

The room was silent for a moment, then Jungkook quietly spoke up again. “Jimin-hyung thinks that it would help you if you got out of the estate during the day, and Hobi-hyung said that you used to train a lot when you were in Busan, and the best place to train is at a gym.”

While you were once again upset at the mention of Jimin thinks you should do this, you were surprised to hear Jungkook say Hobi-hyung rather than Hoseok-hyung. As far as you were aware, you were the only one who referred to him as Hobi.

Maybe you had a greater influence here than you originally thought.

“And you own a gym?” You guessed. You had remembered a gym name being thrown around occasionally, and it was an easy assumption that Jungkook's side business would be somewhere he and the rest of the members could train themselves.

“It's not a bad idea,” Namjoon said, albeit hesitantly. He didn't want to force you into anything you weren't comfortable with, but giving you a healthier outlet would be beneficial. “I bet Yeji would like to meet you.”

“And you would get along with her so well!” Jungkook added.

You stood up, officially done with this conversation, and spoke as you headed to the office door, “I don't need any more friends, female or otherwise, but thanks for the offer. Tell Park to fuck off for me.” And with that, you left the office.

┈     ┈     ┈     ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟     ┈     ┈     ┈

There wasn't a night where you didn't miss Rosé, but most nights the longing was so quiet you hardly noticed it anymore.

Jungkook's offer to go train at his gym and Namjoon's suggestion of meeting Yeji (whoever she was) brought your attention back to the first real female friend you ever made, and the tragic circumstances of her disappearance. Only now you knew how she disappeared, and you knew she was happy.

That didn't make the feeling go away, though. 

You were so fucking tired of feelings. You were tired of being fucking tired, too. If Jackson would just unblock you, he could help you not feel so tired, or at least help you stop feeling in general.

Maybe you should go back.

┈     ┈     ┈     ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟     ┈     ┈     ┈

It took you three days to accept Jungkook's offer. You weren't happy about it, but Park was right again. Getting you out of the estate for a bit would help you, and punching things and/or people would be a great way to vent your stupid emotions.

If it worked in Busan, it would work now too.

The Basement was a standard gym, with treadmills and weight machines and punching bags. You asked Jungkook why he named it The Basement, but he only smirked at you.

“It's where I'm supposed to stay.”

You didn't bother asking anything further to decipher the cryptic answer. It sounded like an inside joke and you weren't interested.

As he led you further into the building, you saw a couple of boxing rings, both of which were occupied by people sparring with each other. One had a young woman with her red hair tied up in a high ponytail, going at it with another girl with blonde hair who looked similar in age.

It reminded you a bit too much of Busan.

The other ring had two men sparring. Both the women and one of the men had purple bands tied around one arm.

“Anyone with that purple band is a member of the ‘staff’,” Jungkook explained, showing you the one he had on. He leaned a bit closer and continued quietly, “They know what we do, and to certain extents, they help us when needed.”

You nodded your understanding. You'd make sure not to use the members’ real names then, just to be safe. Jungkook continued to guide you to the boxing ring with the two women. “Yeji!” He called up to them, and they both stopped and turned. “Come down and meet Y/N!”

You felt your face redden slightly at the sudden attention. Several heads turned your way, staring unapologetically. You started considering making a break for it, but you'd have to walk back to the main estate. You didn't know the way, and it'd be too dangerous for you to be out on the streets alone like that.

You were stuck here. Unfortunately.

The redhead climbed out of the ring quickly, pulling the gloves off with her teeth. “Hello!” She said with a quick bow, still slightly out of breath. “I'm Yeji, it's so nice to finally meet you!”

You offered a small smile and bowed back, but you still didn't say anything. You failed to see how Namjoon thought you two would become friends.

“Yeji is from Jeonju,” Jungkook brought up. “Y/N's been in Busan the past few years.”

Jeonju piqued your interest. “How'd you get up here?” You asked her quietly, not sure if it was a story she'd be willing to share.

“My dad couldn't pay off his drug debt, so the boss took me instead,” Yeji replied, a twinge of sadness in her eyes, but nothing else gave her emotion away. “I was sold in the Trade—” what the southern underground called sex trafficking “—and eventually found myself in Seoul.”

You looked between her and Jungkook, a bit afraid to ask your next question. “How'd you get out?”

“The Y/N Initiative,” came the reply from both of them, but Yeji continued, “So you're a different kind of famous in the lower circles.”

“No wonder me coming back from the dead made such a stir.” Yeji and Jungkook laughed, but you didn't understand why.

“Yeji, why don't you get Y/N warmed up while I go get her a band,” Jungkook said, then walked away, leaving you and this new girl who was supposed to become your friend alone.

“Busan's pretty rough.” Yeji led you to the now-empty boxing ring. "We don’t get many girls from that far south up here very often.”

“I wasn’t planning on being another one,” you vaguely explained. “Everything just sort of happened and now I’m here.” You pulled yourself up and slid between the ring ropes, feeling a sense of familiarity amidst the new environment. You knew your way around a boxing ring very well, and a part of you wondered if another member owned or had easy access to a shooting range.

“Well, I’m glad you made it,” Yeji told you, climbing up after you. She handed you a pair of boxing gloves, which you took a bit too hesitantly. “And hopefully you aren’t too rusty, it’s been a long time since I’ve sparred with someone from the South.” Her cheeky tone made you smirk, and you almost missed the wink she sent your way.

Sparring with Yeji was reminiscent of sparring in Busan, and you found yourself more present than you had been in months. Something was refreshing about not overthinking into the void and just throwing punches and kicks.

There was also something infuriating about fucking Park being fucking right fucking again.

You even had a chance to go toe to toe with Jungkook once he returned with a purple band for you, and you had to admit that you had fun. You'd never had fun training before, but something about Jungkook's stupid bunny grin as he egged you on and told you “You can hit harder than that, come on” brought a smile to your face.

Something resembling a smile, anyway.

You were panting and drenched in sweat by the time you called it quits. Yeji led you to the girls' locker room so you could rinse off, and even left you some simple clothes for you to change into.

“We always have extras here,“ she explained as she handed the jeans and t-shirt to you. “Just in case someone needs them.” She winked and left, giving you your privacy. Something about that sounded a bit flirty, but you could tell it was harmless. It was probably for the Y/N Initiative.

You didn't take long in the locker room, not wanting to hold Jungkook back since he was your ride. You didn't see him, though, when you walked back onto the main floor.

You shrugged it off, he was probably doing some kind of business management thing. He wouldn't leave without you, so you decided to make your way to the front and wait for him. You walked past a couple of different small groups of people on your way.

The last one made you double-take.

“Oh. My. God.” Your voice caught the attention of the group and the man you were looking at. His eyes went wide in recognition as you continued. “This is where your little rat ass made it?”

“Those are big words coming from such a little bird,” Jay Park taunted back. “Where's your owner? Shouldn't he have you on a leash?”

“Is your dick still functional?” You fake whispered, catching the attention of others nearby. Park's face turned red from embarrassment and anger, while a few girls laughed.

“Are you the one who did that to him?” someone called, and the guys surrounding him snickered. Apparently, you were a legend in more than one way.

“He had to learn no means no somehow.” Jay Park stalked towards you, but you held your ground. You hadn't seen him since that day, and if you thought back hard enough, you could still taste the blood in your mouth. Park took a deep breath on his way over, calming himself back down. That was unusual to you—he used to have a temper as bad as Rosé's ex. You weren't sure what to make of it, or how to respond, so you stepped back.

“For as much of a little shit you are, it's nice to see you finally out of Busan.” You only blinked at him, completely thrown off by his 180-degree shift.

“Didn't think you'd be one to care,” you said back, but not with the same amount of bite you had before.

Park shrugged, “People change. I didn't care about a lot of things until I got out and found this place. Jungkook put a few good beatings on my ass.”

You still didn't fully trust him, or what he was saying, but he also sounded genuine. You knew that getting away from the wrong place, the wrong people, could make someone turn around for the better. You just never expected it with Jay Park.

He had a purple band on, though. If Jungkook trusted him, then maybe you could give him a shot too?

“How long have you been up here?”

“Since the day after you tried biting my dick off.” You couldn't help the twitch of your lips into a small smirk. “I got in a bad fight with Jackson over it. Told him to fuck off and then got the hell outta there. He isn't here too, is he?” Park glanced around, nervous to see the person you were dying to hear back from.

“Jackson's still down in Busan,” you admitted in a smaller voice than you would have liked.

“He let you come up here all by yourself?”

You refused to look at him, your gaze pointedly on the ground. “I… kind of ran away. And now he won't talk to me.”

“Shit,” Park muttered, “you're getting help from Bangtan and still trying to stay in contact with the person you're running from?”

“I didn't run from Jackson,” you spat out, although you weren't sure you believed the statement yourself. “I was offered a really good job up here and I took it. And then things started falling apart, so now Bangtan is helping me. And Jackson doesn't like that I'm not back in Busan working with him. So he stopped talking to me.”

Park stood in silence, taking all of that in. It was weird, having him just listen to you, to not hear some stupid comment from him. But, at the same time, it was nice to see someone you knew from Busan. It was nice to talk about Jackson with someone who also knew him.

“You know,” Park finally said, “for as much of a dickwad as he is, Jackson does care a lot about you.” And you did know that. “You said you were working on some kind of job up here, and that's cool, but if he's not talking to you, you may wanna head back down to Busan for a couple days and try to patch things up with him. Maybe even see if he'll come back with you and start helping.”

“Hey Jay, let's go!” One of the other guys called for him, and the rest of the group headed into one of the sparring areas.

Park nodded to you, “Guess I'll be seeing you around, ya little bitch.” Then he turned and ran to rejoin his friends. You couldn't even offer a decent comeback. You just stood, nearly frozen, digesting his words. There was only one thing ringing around in your head.

Maybe you should go back.

┈     ┈     ┈     ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟     ┈     ┈     ┈

You stayed in, sending Hueningkai a message to take the night off. There were too many things bouncing around inside your head to try and seduce information out of others tonight.

You were thinking too much, and you couldn't get your brain to stop. A single thought drowned out the rest, weaving itself into each idea, playing like a broken record.

Maybe you should go back.

Jackson could help you. Jackson could get your mind to stop. Jackson could calm your worries with a few words, a quick fuck, whatever was needed. Jackson was the one you needed.

And Jackson was in Busan. So maybe you should go back, you should definitely apologize, and hope he puts your months-long act of defiance behind him. He'd forgive you eventually, he always did. Especially if you were good.

Jackson does care a lot about you, Jay Park had said, you may wanna head back down. Never in your wildest dreams would you have ever thought you'd be considering Jay Park's advice, but all he really did was say out loud what you had already been thinking. Jackson cares about you, and you should go back.

With a small groan, you rolled yourself off your couch landing facedown on the floor. The slight change didn't do much for your racing mind, but at least the different environment convinced your body that moving was okay. After breathing in the carpet for another moment, you pushed yourself up, slowly getting on your feet.

Silently, you crept towards your door, slightly ajar as always. While part of you understood you didn't need to creep around, that no one here was going to yell at you, you did still want to be respectful of the time. 3 AM wasn't an ideal time to be awoken, but you knew at least one member who would still be up.

You tiptoed down the hall, glad your target's room was only one down from yours. The light in Namjoon's office was on, the door mostly closed, but you could hear the leader snoring inside. You were safe to be a little louder.

Quickly, but still quietly, you knocked on the door four times. After waiting a few minutes and not receiving any response, you tried again a little louder this time.

Still nothing.

You let out a soft sigh. Either Yoongi was actually asleep, or he wasn't here tonight, which meant you couldn't badger him for some more sleeping pills. You just wanted one good night's rest for once, it couldn't have been too much to ask for.

You turned around, starting to head back into your room, but a quiet voice stopped you.

“Y/N-ssi?” Jungkook spoke softly, his tone concerned. “Are you okay?”

You turned towards the youngest, who was in sleeping clothes but somehow looked more awake than he should be, and offered a small smile. “Yeah, just wanted to see if Yoongi was up.” It wasn't a total lie.

“I think he crashed at his place tonight,” Jungkook said. “Something about being at the studio for too long and not wanting to drive all the way out here.”

You nodded, then offered a small wave. “Well, good ni—”

“Do you want to get a late-night snack?” Jungkook asked, interrupting you. You just looked at him, confused, until he added, “I was gonna get something for myself, but we can share if you want to.”

Your stomach started aching a bit at the mention of food. You did eat a small dinner, but that was many hours ago. Maybe another small something would help you rest a bit more. You simply nodded, walking towards him and following him down to the basement.

“Would you prefer sweet or salty?” Jungkook asked as he stared at the snack pantry. You made a beeline for the couch, wrapping yourself up in a blanket to shield yourself from the cold.

“Neither?” Your answer sounded more like a question. You weren't sure what you were craving, not what exactly they had to offer.

“Savory it is, then.” You heard the sound of plastic crinkling, then peered over the back of the couch to see Jungkook carrying a package of jerky. Your mouth watered a bit. That would be perfect for a midnight snack. He sat at the other end of the couch, then opened the package and offered it to you first. You snaked a hand out from the warmth and grabbed a few pieces.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a while, just snacking. Jungkook looked awake and asleep at the same time, and you wondered if you needed to be the responsible one and get him back into bed.

Jungkook stood once the jerky was gone, stretching his arms above his head. “Thank you for letting me sit with you, Y/N-ssi.”

Maybe it was because it was nearly 4 AM and you were tired and restless all at once. Maybe it was because this kid had been so sweet and respectful since you got here that it wore you down. Maybe it was because you were sick of hearing him say Y/N-ssi when everyone else here was far less formal with you. 

“Jungkook,” you called as he headed for the stairs. He turned around, sleepy but curious. You swallowed. “You can call me Noona, if you want.”

A big bunny grin slowly spread across his face. “Really?”

“Go to bed.”

He just laughed. “Goodnight, Noona!”

┈     ┈     ┈     ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟     ┈     ┈     ┈

You were about to lose your mind.

It had been months since you'd last spoken to Jackson, since he had cut you off, and you couldn't take it anymore. Between his voice echoing in your head every night, to shitty sex that hardly got you what you wanted, to all of Park's stupid fucking remarks—you hadn't slept properly in weeks because you couldn't get out of your head long enough.

You were thinking too much, and you couldn't take it anymore. You needed Jackson back, and if that meant going back to Busan, then that's what you were going to do.

And maybe Jay Park was right! Maybe if you went back and showed how sorry you were, Jackson would come back to Seoul with you, and then you and he and all of Bangtan could work together to solve this mystery!

(Somewhere deep inside, you knew that wouldn't happen, but if that idea was what got you back to Busan, back to Jackson, then that's what you would keep telling yourself.)

Maybe you would spend just one or two more days here, and then have Hueningkai drive you to the train station. You'd have to take all the money with you though—it was half the reason you took the job in Seoul. Maybe you'd take a night train then, to be less conspicuous, but that would also mean walking through the dark streets of Busan with a large amount of cash on you.

Could you get Kai to drive you all the way to Busan?

But you really shouldn't be asking anything more of Kai, he was so young, and driving you all the way down to Busan and then coming back to Seoul all by himself? No, that was too much. Would one of the others be willing to drive you? Jungkook was from Busan originally, maybe he'd like to visit? And he would be able to handle himself if anything happened, which was always a possibility in the South.

Yeah, maybe that's what you'd do. In another day or two, you'd ask Jungkook to drive you down to Busan. Wait, no, fuck, you couldn't ask Jungkook, he's wanted dead or alive in Busan! It's too risky for him to take you, and no one else would without a very good reason. Could you pin it on a new lead? Some thread of information you collected one night from who knows which man you slept with. No, that wouldn't work either, they'd all see right through that.

Goddammit, why was this so hard? You made the plan to leave Busan in an hour and executed it the next day. Why couldn't you make a plan to get back to Busan?

You were going to have to take the train, and you would need to get someone to take you to the train station. Or maybe you'd walk there yourself. You could probably figure out the way. Could you get there before a rival gang recognized you and tried to kill you? Or worse, what if Song's men caught you and tried taking you back to wherever Song was?

No, you'd need someone to actually drive you there. You'd have to leave the money here, too. Just tell Jackson you got most of it back but you had to leave it in Seoul for safety reasons. That would make him come back to Seoul with you, too.

Okay, yes, that was it! You'd leave the money here. Someone, Jungkook probably, would drive you to the train station. You'd go back to Busan, meet up with Jackson, eventually gain his forgiveness, and then tell him you got most of the money back but you couldn't travel with it. Then he'd bring you back to Seoul where you'd reunite with Bangtan and continue making strides towards solving the mystery but now with help from the one person you needed most.

It would be perfect! What could possibly go wrong?

┈     ┈     ┈     ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟     ┈     ┈     ┈

You waited for the next day Jungkook would take you to the Basement with him. He didn't take you every day, despite a certain member pressuring the two of you to go. Some days Jungkook had his own share of gang activity to take care of, and you still wanted to keep some distance between Yeji and Jay Park. You enjoyed taking shitty naps on the good couch on those days, until said certain member decided you'd had enough alone time.

Maybe you would stab him just once before going back down to Busan.

So here you were, just a few short weeks after your first time at the gym, dressed the same way you were when you first arrived in Seoul. You tucked your hair behind your red baseball cap and tugged your green jacket around you a bit tighter. Jackson had given you these forever ago, and you knew he'd be happy to see you return in them.

And you wanted to make Jackson as happy as possible. It would make getting back on his good side easier.

You checked the time on your phone once more, then tucked it into a pocket and temporarily left your room for the last time. You'd be back. You just weren't sure when. You didn't let yourself look back or turn around, this was happening and it was happening now.

Jungkook was waiting for you in the living room, messing around with Taehyung on some phone game. Park stood by the entrance to the kitchen, scrolling absentmindedly on his phone. They all looked up when you reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Are you ready to go?” Jungkook asked you, only slightly confused. You took the jacket with you just about everywhere—he knew that—but he didn't usually see you in the hat anymore, not to mention you weren't dressed for going to a gym.

“Yeah,” you answered, not stopping. If you stopped, they'd have a chance to question you and you needed to get Jungkook into the car. Jungkook started to follow you, but fucking Park moved to block your way.

“You don't look like you're going to the gym.” He was much less confused, far more stern, something you were more used to with Jackson. He slid his phone into his pocket, giving you his full attention.

You tried sidestepping him multiple times, but he wasn't letting you pass. Jungkook moved away, giving you two space, while Tae watched from the couch.

“Move, Park.” You were so done with him, with his stupid voice and comments and “helpful” tips about what you should and shouldn't be doing. You already had one man trying to control your life, you didn't need another one. And you were trying to get back to the first!

“Why are you dressed like that?” He asked instead, making himself more comfortable in the doorway. You clenched your fists at your sides, beyond ready to throw a punch at him. He was still a member of Bangtan, though, and you were still trying to keep physical violence out of it.

He wasn't making it easy.

“Why do you have to critique every choice I try to make? Why can't you just let me live my life?”

“Why were you searching for the train station schedule?” You took a small step back in shock. “Are you planning on going somewhere?”

How did Park of all people know that? You were alone in the kitchen when you made that search earlier. You had heard someone come in while you were washing your breakfast dishes, and you had left your phone on the island counter but you were sure—

“You left your phone unlocked, with the schedule right there on the screen.” Park didn't smirk, but with his tone, he might as well have.

You closed your eyes, taking a slow, deep breath, trying to keep yourself under control. You'd have more control over the situation as a whole if you remained calm. No matter how difficult Park made it.

When you opened your eyes again, you met Park's gaze directly. There was no hint of amusement or enjoyment. He had the same fierce determination that you did.

“I don't answer to you.”

“No,” he agreed, “but you do need to answer to the person who's driving you.” He pointed behind you to Jungkook, and you turned to look at the youngest.

Jungkook was very clearly worried about you, about what Park was implying, about what fight might break out. This wasn't going the way you wanted it to, and if you had any hope of salvaging your plan, you needed to get yourself and Jungkook in a car now.

“Can we just go, please, Jungkook?” You asked softly. In a way, Jungkook was like a mini-Namjoon or a mini-Hobi. He'd probably do whatever you asked, and you really needed to take advantage of that right now.

Unfortunately for you, he was also a mini-Jimin.

“Where do you want to go?” He asked in return, just as softly. You could see the hope in his eyes, the desire for Park to be wrong. He wanted you to just go to the gym with him like you had planned, not whatever his hyung was talking about. You needed to check the time, check and see how long this confrontation had taken, and make sure you could still catch the next train to Busan, but it would look too suspicious.

Each member in the room waited in tense silence for you to answer Jungkook's question. If you saved face and said the gym, then once you were in the car you wouldn't be able to change his mind. If you admitted you were planning on going to the train station, he wouldn't take you there now.

At this point, you had been silent for too long, and your answer was clear. Park spoke up again.

"I swear to god if you say you're going back to Busan—"

"Yes, I'm going back to Busan!!" You finally snapped, entirely too fed up with him. You turned on your heel, glaring into his too-serious face. "I can't take it anymore! Jackson hasn't unblocked me and I'm thinking too much and no one else can make it stop!! So get out of my way you fucking asshole!!" You looked over your shoulder back at Jungkook for only a moment, who stood there with wide eyes and was several more steps away from you now.

As you opened your mouth to say "let's go" to him, you were quite literally swept off your feet and flung across Park's shoulders, which were now digging into your chest and stomach painfully. He had one hand firmly around one of your ankles and the other had managed to capture both your wrists.

"Let me GO Park!"

"Jimin, what the fuck, man?" You heard Taehyung speak up for the first time since you descended the stairs.

"Hyung, what are you doing??"

"That's the first genuinely honest thing you've said in weeks," Park said, though you weren't sure if he was talking directly to you or commenting to himself. You struggled against his hold, but this was a position you had never really been in before and definitely hadn't trained to get out of. If you were only slung over one shoulder you could manage, but you couldn't get a decent hit or kick in.

Part of you was starting to panic.

Each step he took up the stairs bounced, and shoved his shoulders into your flesh more, making whatever was going on more uncomfortable.

"I'm calling Namjoon-hyung!" You heard Jungkook threaten. The fact that neither of them was actively trying to stop Park meant they believed you weren't in any serious danger, but you couldn't help the terror creeping through you.

Park released your ankle to open a door, presumably to your bedroom, and grabbed at it again before you could maneuver yourself out of his grasp. You weren't paying attention to where he was taking you, just that it was in the opposite direction of where you wanted to go. A light flicked on and you caught a glimpse of red—so, not your room—and then heard the door slam shut.

The sound was enough to get you to stop fighting. It shocked you back to ten years ago, when you were just as vulnerable and defenseless and alone. You weren't getting out of this.

He took large strides further into the room. The world twisted again as he threw you from his shoulders to something soft.

A bed.

He crawled over you, your body too scared to move. Your mind was racing and frozen at the same time. You looked up into his eyes, dark but not hungry, intense but not angry. You weren't sure what to make of it, so you said the only thing you could.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Your body might be down for the count, but you could always count on your mouth to do something. You expected him to smirk, but he was nothing but serious.

"Jackson isn't the only one who can fuck you stupid."

i have been waiting for this next chapter since i wrote "the bar"!!! this is the one i replay in my head over and over again and i am so excited for you all to finally read it!!! thank you again for your patience and i look forward to hearing back from you what you thought and if you liked it. also let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, i'm redoing it. happy new year!

@snurtsnurt @remmykinsff @sakuyakira @jazajas @mochi13 @fly-you-dam-fools @orangegaytorade @iliketowrite-2 @ijustwnatablog @secretxl @livingbubbles-blog @clowdyblue @nc-anon @shylia

[bashfulgnome]

Disturbance (Chapter 1 - Torment)

Fic below the cut; alternate links: Ao3 || FF

Hello everybody! Today I'd like to present to you a story that I've been chipping away at for a few years before actually writing it all down. This will be my first published multi-chapter fic—I usually tend to favor oneshots, but this one is too big for just one chapter. It's been a long time coming, since I wanted to handle what's being covered here with as much dignity as possible and didn't want to accidentally trivialize anything. For reference, this takes place when Felix and Tamora's relationship is starting to get serious.

A warning, as this is a little heavier than my normal stories: if you're sensitive to scenarios where alcohol is involved in near-sexual situations, then please use your judgment on reading this one. The scene in question is in the first chapter and will be referenced in later chapters.

Felix startled awake to what sounded like a small explosion, followed by the shattering of glass and a series of hissed profanities. In a daze, he felt around for his special lady, who was absent from her usual spot beside him in their bed.

"Tammy?!"

He grabbed his hammer off his toolbelt hanging next to the nightstand and jumped out of bed, running towards the source of the sound that had awakened him.

"Tamora?! Are you okay?"

Reaching the bathroom, he flicked on the light switch. Tamora stood behind the remains of the bathroom mirror, her right hand still balled into a fist. Blood coated most of her hand and dripped into a small puddle on the tiled floor. She blinked and stared blankly at the floor as she adjusted to the light, a glaze having just recently cleared from her eyes, watching the inky red fluid channeling into the tile grout. 

Looking over to the wall, Felix noticed an impressive fist-shaped crater where the mirror had hung.

"Here, darlin', let me help with that..." He guided her to the sink and scooped handfuls of warm water from the stream to rinse out the cuts. Tamora only moved to lean on the counter with her other arm, stone-faced and unresponsive to any apparent pain, with her injured hand completely limp.

Once the bath had cleared away the blood and stray debris, it revealed ribbons of torn skin peeling off her knuckles, flayed by the glass shards. Felix's stomach wrenched at the sight and he tapped her hand with his hammer, immediately healing her. He patted her hand dry with a towel and took it in his for a kiss where the injuries had been moments before.

"All better!" he piped, with a hesitant smile. 

The pleasant tingle of the hammer snapped her out of her statue-like state, and at the contact of his kiss she reflexively held his hand more tightly. 

She raised her other hand to her face and rubbed her eyes, getting a clear look at what once was the mirror. 

"Aw, Felix, I'm sorry." Her voice came out in a low rasp, a tinge of shame in her tone. "Guess I wasn't runnin' on full batteries. I saw movement and didn't wanna take any chances..." 

He shook his head. 

"I'll have that mirror good as new tomorrow mornin', don't you worry about it. Just watch out you don't step on the pieces." 

—

Her muscles had already tensed when she woke up. The one reassurance she offered herself was that at least she hadn't accidentally clocked her poor little guy in the face or tossed him off the bed in the waning hallucinations of the nightmare. 

Too overwhelmed to scream, she could only watch the neon-green entrails flooding the cab of the long-suffering old pickup truck and gumming the moving parts to a stop. What started as a drive into town on an errand from Mama had corrupted when the cloudy sky turned to charcoal, split down the middle with a thundering tear, and poured the disgusting green metallic slurry into every orifice of the vehicle. The doors worked but she couldn't leave, not with him still in the passenger seat, and the liquid contents of the cab stayed suspended inside despite the opening available. 

Brad couldn't move, and couldn't breathe through the thick sludge as she somehow could. It dripped out of his nose and mouth whenever he tried to talk to her, and he fearfully refused her attempts to push him out of the truck. The struggle lasted for hours until her hands phased through him and she couldn't physically touch him anymore. 'Aren't you freezing?' he'd nonsensically sputtered out, before the cy-bugs climbed in through the open doors and each began gnawing on a different part of him...

She bit her hand to keep from vomiting at the memory of it. If Mama's land on the outskirts of town wasn't safe then neither was a game right across the station from those monsters—at least that's what her instincts would not stop screaming at her. She wilted slightly at her self-assigned post, head lightly knocking against the glass pane in front of her. 

Felix awoke to see her silhouette by the window, leaning on the sill. 

"Is something wrong?" he whispered. 

She glanced back at him. 

"Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine, Lady Love. What's going on?"

"Thought I heard something," she shrugged. 

He joined her at the window and looked out into the familiar surroundings of his game. The perpetual midnight sky lay peacefully above as it always had. Everything was still; Niceland wasn't the sort of place where anyone was out and about at this hour. Beyond the screen, he could faintly make out the flickering lampposts by the buildings across the street from the arcade, and the flash of the streetlights illuminating the occasional passing vehicle. 

He placed a hand on hers and almost recoiled at how cold it was. 

"We're okay, Tammy. Everyone's okay."

She sighed. 

"I know." 

He paused for a few minutes, quietly sifting through his collection of uncertainties to try and figure out how to respond. 

"Why don't you come back to bed? It's awful chilly tonight," was the best he could muster. The only pajama clothing she wore was an oversized T-shirt, and he had no idea how long she'd been standing there. She didn't even seem to be aware of the temperature. 

The sergeant turned over her hand to grasp his, but said nothing.

"Tamora, everyone's safe and we're not goin' anywhere. I'll be right here when you wake up. That's a promise."

In the low light he saw the shadow of a smile. 

"I'll hold you to it."

They returned to bed and Felix made sure to pull the covers up over her shoulders. She tucked him into her arms and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. The thumping of his heartbeat—quicker than hers as expected, but steady and reassuring—lulled her to sleep. 

He had thought it was just one bad night for her. But in the morning light when he went to open the curtains, he noticed overlapping sets of her handprints on the part of the windowsill where she had been keeping watch.

—

Several nights later he woke up to a harsh, low scratching making its way down the hallway outside the apartment. He froze in terror—Tamora had stayed late for work and gone out afterwards, telling him not to wait up for her. He broke into an instant cold sweat at the thought of a cy-bug evading her watch and coming into the game. 

As quietly as he could, he rolled out of bed and rummaged around in his toolbox next to the closet. Finding a heavy wrench, he clasped it tightly and snuck towards the entryway. He hesitated only a moment to pick up his hammer as well. 

The distant rumble rose to a horrible, continuous scraping as it came closer and closer to his door. Felix's heart pounded and shook his limbs, making his grip on the tools tremble. 

The sound reached his door and stopped. Felix's ears rang in the sudden silence and his mouth went dry. He almost fell backwards at the sudden forceful knock afterwards. 

"Felix? Babe?" 

"Tammy?" 

A long pause. 

"Yeah?" 

He collapsed on the floor, panting in relief. 

"You...you really scared me, honeybadger! Give me just a second and I'll let you in." 

After composing himself, he opened the door and nearly hit the floor again when Tamora fell into the room, landing on her hands and knees. 

"Tammy!! Oh my land, are you alright?!" 

He took her hand to help her up, and she snickered. 

"Wanna...come get comfy down here." 

The sour smell of alcohol broke over him in a wave. For the second time that night, he put a hand to his chest and caught his breath. He chanced a peek out the door and saw a long gash running down the hallway at about her shoulder height. It was impressive that she even had enough physical and mental acuity left to make it all the way to the apartment. 

"Tamora, you're going to bed." 

She cocked her eyebrows and grinned. 

"Can you walk?" 

"Kinda stupid question...issat. Watch." 

She slowly rose to her feet and stumbled again, but ran with the forward momentum and charged right through the bedroom doorway. 

Felix rushed into the bedroom and turned on a light to find her hunched against the wall, fist in the air, as though she was celebrating a victory. He placed his tools down on the nightstand, and with some effort he guided her to the bed. 

"Tammy, listen to me. I'm gonna bring you some water in case you need it later. If you have to go to the bathroom, yell for me. I don't want you falling down in there and hittin' your head on anything. I'll be on the couch." 

She stared at him for a few minutes and nodded. 

"You're...the best. Take such good care a' me..." she grabbed his face in one hand and lightly shook his head back and forth by the chin, squeezing his cheeks. "Cute little fella. Very pretty." 

Felix chuckled and a blush crept onto his cheeks. He picked up her hand off his face, running a thumb over her knuckles. She watched him leave for the kitchen and return with a large mug of water, then gratefully downed it in seconds when he handed it to her.

"There you go,” he sighed, placing the empty mug back on the nightstand. “Now, I don't know how you can ever be comfortable in all this armor, but let me at least make sure you don't have to sleep in it." 

He removed her boots and got to work unlatching the plates covering her torso. 

"I have to...you need to know. You're…" Tamora put her hands on his shoulders and stared at him, desperately trying to overcome her temporary lack of verbal communication ability.

"I’m not sure I understand. Can you show me what’s going on?" 

She hugged him and kissed the base of his neck, patting his back. 

"Need to do...something here. It—the words," she sputtered in frustration.

"You're all right. Do you wanna think about...the words while we get ready?" 

Tamora nodded and released him. 

After a few minutes of decoupling and shifting around the various pieces of her armor, Felix noticed that she had become unusually quiet. Taking his eyes off his work, he looked up to see her staring at him again, pupils dilated. He tried to ignore it and pulled the now-disconnected chestplate off of her, but the action set something off. 

"It was this...!" she trailed off as she whipped around, startling him, and pinned him down to the mattress with a sloppy kiss. 

The taste alone told him she’d had some of Tapper's strongest, a concoction that had knocked him off his stool from just a sniff when he'd curiously sampled it. Her attempt to unbutton his pajama shirt was quickly abandoned for lack of coordination, in favor of rolling it up. 

"You wanna do...like that, Fix-It? Sssomeone's bold today..." 

Alarmed, Felix pushed against one shoulder and pulled at the other, trying to roll or twist her off of himself. He could hardly get the leverage to even shift himself around, let alone move her. 

"Top, huh. Hafta work for that..."

He shook his head and managed to pull his legs out from under her on either side. Feet flat on the bed, he heaved himself a few inches up and away, causing her to slide off of him and onto the quilt. The motion put enough distance between them for him to brace his hands against her shoulders and nudge her backwards. 

"We're not doing that right now! Tam, for goodness' sake you’re in no condition for any of this!" 

Something about the panic in his voice and expression stopped her. He very rarely shouted, and realizing that she was the cause of his fear chilled over her amorous state. The room pitched from side to side as she propped herself up on her hands and shifted further away from him.

He worried that his heavy breathing and the inadvertent redness of his cheeks from the kiss would drown out his words. But for an instant, Felix saw realization and shock pass over her face before she grunted out a soft embarrassed noise and rolled over. She shuffled to the far side of the bed, facing away from him. 

Catching his breath, the situation caught up with him and made his insides churn. He refused to have that sort of experience with her in her current state, and if she’d regretted it he wouldn't have been able to forgive himself. 

He kissed the top of her ear. 

"I'm sorry for yelling. But you're not doing very well right now. We'll talk about it in the morning. For now I just need to get you settled." 

"Hey...hurts?"

"What hurts?" 

She shook her head and pointed over her shoulder at him. 

"Me? No, you didn't hurt me. I'm okay. You just...gave me a bit of a fright." 

She turned around and fumbled for his hand, kissing his fingers. 

"Sorry...brain’s bad. Thought you wanted...I’m sorry."

Of course. She was still Tammy. But he couldn't name what he was feeling. She'd never have gotten to this point in a normal state and she even had the awareness not to hurt him now, inebriated more than he’d ever seen her before. 

He ached to communicate, every fiber of him wanting to come up with some right combination of words that would fix this, but he had to remind himself that she wouldn't be able to process it anyway. Felix gave Tamora's hand a squeeze before tucking it into her chest, and smiled feebly. 

"I'm going to finish getting you ready to go to sleep, is that okay?" 

“Yeah,” She nodded. “S’okay...I won’t move.”

Over the next several minutes he removed the rest of her armor and laid it in a neat pile by the foot of the bed. By the time he left and came back with the refilled mug of water and empty bowl, she was already asleep. He left the items on the nightstand and pulled up her covers, tucking all of the available pillows under her head and shoulders to elevate them and keep her from rolling over. 

Seeing her in the condition she was in that night twisted and stabbed at him. If she'd just been injured or gotten into a fight then it'd be obvious how to help. And if it wasn't, he could ask. But this...a constant background noise of low-grade anxiety grew louder at the sight of her obscured vulnerability made physical. 

"I don't know what happened out there but have a nice rest, sugarplum," Felix whispered, wiping his eyes before they could produce any tears. He kissed the tip of her nose and left for the couch with an armful of extra sheets.

—

Tagging some of my WIR buddies: @ask-icancraft-it @ashleybenlove @sgtcalhouns @coneygoil @kittysfigurines24 @fix-it-feesh @shitpost-it-tristan @make-it-mavis @datamining-your-heart @nijimarii @scarfboyxiv @secretsocietyofgamejumpers @juanitascribbles @wreckitralphrestart

Let me know if you would like your name added to or removed from the tags for future fics!

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Ngl it's weird finishing the Knuckles tv show and going to tumblr about it only for people (even who I consider bigger name fans) who also watched the entire show to claim that it "confirmed Knuckles Wachowski"

Like

I'm sorry

Did you somehow miss the part in the last episode where Knuckles had a whole montage of hanging with the Whipple family and Wade and saying "home" or something?

[cosmicredcadet]

I don't know who needs to hear this but... You don't need to finish that WIP. not everything you create has to be a Work In Progress. you can just sketch something or write out a draft and then never go any farther than that. you don't have to finish everything you create. not everything is meant to be finished.

also, starting a new WIP when you have another isn't bad. it doesn't stop you from going back to the old one. sometimes you get excited for an idea, sometimes you just need to get that idea down. Do it. start another WIP. nothing is stopping you from going back to the old one later.

the only one putting these barriers up is yourself. Stop holding yourself back. You'll find yourself a lot happier if you stop forcing yourself to follow these invisible rules on what you can and should be focusing on finishing.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

What the fuck it cut off my tags, whatever

I do deserve a treat :( Thank you <3

sorry for ranting, also sorry half the rant was cut off

this is the single worst way i've ever read to describe an erection, frank herbert

[the-hanged-mans-ghost]

vent-ish rambling in the notes ig bc I can't think and my brain is fuzzy but I have Thoughts

[sskk-manifesto]

Watched episode 5 :)

[writersrkive]

Don't shut up | Spencer Reid

summary: Spencer is used to people who constantly tell him to shut up, but somehow, he feels even more embarrassed and sad when he thinks you want him to stop talking after looking at the tired and confused expression you have when he's trying to help you. The thing is you hate when people do that to Spence and would spend years just listening to his voice.

genre: fluff

pairing: Early seasons!Spencer Reid x bau!reader

warnings: mentions of the team shutting Spencer down. Derek and JJ being a little mean to him when he's spreading information. Spencer being a cutie potato. Mention of a stomachache and its causes (mention of miscarriage as one of the causes, but nothing happens). Reader not being a native english speaker, but just a slight mention.

a/n: Dr. Spencer Reid is a genius.... I am not. I literally had to search for information and copy-paste here in some parts, so if there's misinformation, it's Google's fault, lmao. I wrote this yesterday when I was about to sleep, so I'm sorry if something is wrong with the writing (even though I already edited). English isn't my first language, please be kind <3.

Masterlist Spanish ver. On Wattpad (coming soon)

Spencer and you arrived early that morning. He hated being late for anything. He couldn't afford to be late if he wanted to stick as closely as possible to his assigned schedule, especially because he took public transport. On the other hand, you had no choice but to arrive early when you woke up at four in the morning thanks to a severe stomachache and couldn't go back to sleep.

That's how your conversation started. Your genius workmate was surprised to see you, first hour in the morning, when he walked in the office, even before Hotch arrived.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. You couldn't deny that the expression was too cute for your own good.

“Yeah… I think so. It's not even the stomach ache that bothers me, it's the fact that even if I was sleepy, I couldn't fall asleep again. You know? That happens to me a lot. Once I open my eyes, I can't go back to sleep. I've also been feeling mildly unwell for a week, but even though the medication is controlling it, it doesn't stop."

At this point, he already set up his desk, leaving his briefcase on his own chair to walk over to you and sit at your desk, next to the chair you were sitting in, to listen to you attentively and answer.

“The brain works with different phases of sleep: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM sleep. The cycle usually restarts every eighty to one hundred minutes, and we typically have four to six cycles each night.”

Hotch came out of the elevator and walked upstairs after both of you waved at him, and he let out a soft “good morning”. Emily arrived a few seconds later. You greeted her too, as she took place on her desk, but that didn't stop your conversation.

“So, it's completely normal that we wake up in the middle of the night because of that process, but if it is frequent, for three months or more, it may be a symptom of insomnia.”

Your view went to the floor, and your head nodded in a semi-unconscious movement, because although you knew that your sleep cycle was ruined by work, you had not come to that conclusion, maybe that was it.

“Now, the stomachache…” He said, taking one pen from your pencil case to concentrate. He usually never took other people's belongings or shared his own stuff because of the germs, but somehow, after a few years of working together, he had come to have a good amount of closeness with you to borrow some stuff from you. Months ago, it hadn't gone unnoticed by Penelope that Spencer had a box full of pens reserved for you, in case you needed one, nor the fact that he denied JJ one of them once, when the blonde girl needed something to write with quickly.

“The causes can be the most common, such as gas, indigestion, a muscle injury, or stress. Although there are also more serious causes: gastrointestinal infections, inflammatory bowel disease, irritable bowel syndrome, ectopic pregnancy or miscarriage..."

“Wow, what are you trying to do? Scare her?” Derek's voice invaded the place and Emily smirked.

“What? No, I'm just saying the possibilities…” Spencer whispered, looking down, a little worried that he might actually scared the person he cared more, besides his mom.

“It's okay.” You answer loud enough so your friends and coworkers would hear. “Thanks, Spence. I already went to the doctor, so I have none of… those.” I gave him a little smile. “But about stress…” The sentence hung in the air, so Spencer looked up and continued speaking automatically.

“Stress can cause stomach pain because the autonomic nervous system of the gastrointestinal tract reacts to the same hormones and neurotransmitters as the brain. This is because the digestive system is connected to the nervous system, and the enteric nervous system, which is located in the digestive system, is able to send and receive impulses and assimilate emotions.” He started to talk faster.

Your focus on the genius boy and his explanation was sincere, but maybe it was the fact that you didn't rest well, plus the fact that he was speaking too fast and not vocalizing all the syllables, that for a moment your brain didn't process what he was saying.

It was weird. At some point you didn't even hear words, just sounds from his mouth. That didn't happen to you for a really long time because you already had experience with the native speakers, even if english wasn't your mother language. The exhausting feeling of not being able to sleep well was definitely to blame.

While your brain was coming to that conclusion, Spencer could only see your furrowed brow, tense jaw, tilted head, and dissociated look.

“You want me to shut up, right?” That whisper was enough for you to come back to reality. His cheeks were red and his eyes looked a little sad, not to mention the way his mouth formed a line like whenever he felt awkward.

“Yes, please!” Derek answered instead, leaning back in his seat and looking up with his arms outstretched as if he'd had to deal with seven unsubs in the five minutes he'd been there, listening from his place to the information Spencer was giving you.

“Little genius boy got excited… again.” JJ said, looking at some documents in front of her, opening her eyes wide in an expression of tiredness and disinterest.

The young profiler stood up from your desk thinking about returning to his chair, a little embarrassed, but you took his pinky with yours —that way you wouldn't make him feel uncomfortable in case he wasn't in the mood for physical touch, something he refused unless it was you. Again, another special treat—. “Wait. It wasn't like that.” Hazel eyes looked at you intently, still with a bit of doubt. “I'm sorry Spencer. Yes, you got excited, but that's not something bad.”

“It isn't?” He questioned.

“No, but you started to speak fast, and the fact that there are some words that I have a hard time processing in English and I couldn't quite catch what you were saying because I didn't sleep enough, well, that distracted me. Would you mind repeating it again, slower?” This time, you were the one with warm cheeks.

“Oh. Are you sure you don't want me to shut up?” The boy was actually intrigued and a little surprised.

“Why would I want that?” The fact that your teammates often shut Spencer up when he tried to share extra information, or information that he had been asked about, was something you had noticed from the moment you started working with the team. You thought that was rude. You understood that sometimes Spencer got excited, gave information that was perhaps better saved for another time since you were investigating a case, or people could be tired and want silence, but the team either silenced him or made fun of him most of the time. Plus, there weren't many other things you liked more than hearing his voice.

The sweet, soothing tone of his words helped you sleep on the jet after a long case, or made you want to hear more about whatever he was talking about. Feeling like he was sharing with you, a mere mortal, some of the vast knowledge he had was nice.

“I'm always happy to hear whatever you need to say, even if it's about something I don't understand. And, right now, you are helping me a lot, so, please, don't shut up.” The crimson color returned to the tall boy's face, this time not because he was uncomfortable. Your kind and somewhat complicit smile made his heart race, like almost every time he was with you. Spencer knew that no matter how tired he got, he would never shut up if you wanted him to keep talking.

[mad-hunts]

in response to the other's answer in regards to what jervis would prefer on his toast, jack simply nodded. he'd found himself at a loss for what else to say even though that was actually quite rare for him. maybe it was the idea that barton could be outside at that very moment, listening in, that made jack suddenly feel like a fog had rolled into his mind; making it so that he could protect himself without even knowing for sure that there was a threat in the first place.

barton didn't like talking about julien - he'd pretty much stowed away every single picture but one the family had with him in it, in fact. for it still hurt him too much to look at them. therefore, especially considering his father's history of not being able to regulate his moods well, jack might have to perform 'damage control' if that were the case. but crossing the bridge if he were to get there seemed to apply quite well here. so, the farceur chose to move on and it turned out to be wisely, too.

jervis did look very tense lying there with jack visibly appearing to want to curl up into himself and never come out. after going to the nearby trunk in the room, he opened it. this was done as a means to distract the both of them from succumbing to the weight of their own differing circumstances. though there was certainly a good cover reason for jack to, ❝ oh, wow. ahh... i almost forgot that its supposed to get down into the forties tonight so you might need this. its going to be cold, after all, ❞ it was also hitting sundown at that moment as well.

jack could tell by just looking through the crack in the curtains of the one window in the room. while gnawing on his bottom lip, he pulled out the plush blanket inside of the chest only to shake it out a bit. now, as jack tossed the blanket up just enough to cover jervis's body without touching him? something matilda told him a few years ago echoed in his mind during a conversation they had late at night: 'you know, i know you'd like nothing more than to get rid of all your feelings sometimes - but i hope you never change.'

jack just remembered looking up at the tent he was in that day of camping afterward, as he decided he should probably get to sleep. but it felt validating in a way he couldn't explain as well even now. because jack's first instinct upon seeing jervis was that he was struggling, so he should help him; though one could definitely say that sense of responsibility had made him suffer in the past. thank goodness sucking in a deep breath through his nostrils and exhaling could allow jack to quiet his mind then.

he tilted his head at the other's words and squinting his eyes, deep in thought. of course if jervis didn't believe in one, that was fine, but it appeared like he might. these sorts of concepts could trigger whole debates for a reason, however, as spirituality was something that jack affiliated himself with. but religion? he wasn't so sure, so he more than understood when jervis settled for saying his loved ones being at peace was simply something he wanted to believe in. with jack's sudden exit came the arrival of a much less benevolent figure, to say the least, and barton couldn't say he blamed jervis for seemingly somewhat disappointed that his son left.

jack was easy to get along with, and with just a little bit of time spent with him, he might just win someone over with his compassionate nature. barton knew this well along with the reality he had to learn other people's behaviors throughout the years to appear at least 'semi-normal.' how that was going for the doctor would often depend on who you asked, though. barton could only snort derisively at that, ❝ funny. just remember, you'd be in arkham right now if it weren't for me and my daughter. ❞ he pointed a sharpened nail in the direction of jervis as he proceeded into the room.

the same crack in the curtains jack had once looked through was soon closed with a quick 'swishing' motion. barton was personally raised with a very limited exposure to faith, as neither wesley nor winslow were particularly religious father figures. but barton could admire those who participate in it regardless of their level of involvement in it. though it could be used as a force of evil as much as it could be used for good, a lot of humanity existed in shades of gray.

so even if they were under the threat of suffering through something like eternal damnation after death... in barton's mind, it was only a matter of time before someone used a widespread thing like faith to their own advantage. and maybe this was bad of him but thinking about wesley being in such a place somewhat brought him a sense of twisted satisfaction; because at least barton would be getting a form of justice for every fearful moment wesley put him through that way. barton only blinked as his eyes trailed from jervis's face to the teacup that jack had presumably brought him.

shockingly enough, all he felt when he discovered that marty's father was a powerful figure was an incredible amount of disbelief for a moment before it fizzled away. barton was used to things getting worse even if he couldn't have seen this coming. plus, he'd gotten frighteningly good at treating human lives like this police captain's more as obstacles than actual beings. it remained to be seen which one jervis was to barton. he squinted his eyes before standing up and ultimately finding out that, yeah, he had done that too quickly.

barton felt like he was green around the gills all over again, ❝ that is one way to put it, jervis. but don't worry. you just reminded me that, although we're going to have to get creative, there are ways of getting away with it. i'd say pinning his murder on someone else might be the best. ❞ he uttered after swallowing thickly, making a 'turn around' gesture with his finger towards the other. barton talking about murder as if it was light dinner conversation said everything that needed to be said about how he felt about their current predicament.

maybe it was because he was still feeling a lot of malaise, but no part of it bothered him in particular. the doctor was more worried about jervis becoming queasy because he accidentally saw the scars where he'd stitched on yves's arm to his own body, ❝ uhh, just in case you didn't get that, turn around. i'm going to change my shirt. ❞ once that was done, barton slipped his current bloodied one over his head only to replace it with the other. he slumped down in the chair to the table opposite of jervis and looked over the tarot cards laid out before him.

barton, too, knew how to interpret them. ❝ what were you two planning on doing with these? a 'past, present, and future' reading? because i can do it while my son's gone for you. ❞

Jervis gave the barest of shrugs as he glanced at Jack through his bangs, the quiet rhythm of their breathing, the slow drip of the IV, and the faint shifting of the cards against the tabletop the only sounds piercing the air. "Either one sounds perfectly agreeable. I defer to your good judgment." A ghost of a smile, pale and wan, tugged at his mouth for an infinitesimal moment.

Call it the lingering pangs of paternal instinct or projection, whatever you felt was most appropriate, but some flicker of warmth—worry mingling with concern—stirred within Jervis' breast; softening the veneer of exhaustion and discomfort that clothed him like a second skin. Like an invisible cancer that had latched onto him, draining his vitality—a slow-acting poison decades in the making; only this time, the source was external, a reflection of Jack's own unease radiating across the space between them.

Jervis drew in a shallow breath, feeling the tightness in his chest not as his own, but as if their nerves had blurred and grown entangled. He tried to focus, willing his own breath to steady, his hands to unclench. A low chuckle escaped Jervis' chapped lips at Jack's query. The medications in his IV coursed through him, cold and prickling, sending a frisson over his skin as goosebumps rose in response. And yet, somehow, it eased the deep ache within him, dulling the edges of both pain and nausea. He could feel the weight of his discomfort receding, just slightly, as though the medicine were smoothing his raw nerves; coaxing him toward a delicate, unfamiliar calm.

Not quite like ketamine.... not like the cozy, blithesome feeling that coursed through his veins with each dose. Even when most of his prior consumption of the drug hadn't been consensual—thick enough to cut his teeth on, it ensured small pockets of blissful ignorance hardening into a dissociative shell, like callus. (God bless those poor, ministering angels at Arkham... only a trace of spite and animosity there, rage bleeding with sorrow at how his autonomy and consent was completely ignored, snatched... one wrong move, and he was left cowering in a crumpled heap, or otherwise dead to the world... but now? Would the scales be tipped, if they managed to drag him back there? He wasn’t sure he wanted to know that answer.) If Odysseus and his crew had been desperate to escape the Lotus Eaters only to stumble unwittingly into the clutches of Polyphemus, Jervis felt quite the opposite.

For better or worse, the ketamine had left him numb to everything.

The pain, the grief, the anguish that tore gouges in his heart and mind; lacerated his psyche to shreds, in conjunction with the ECT. Somehow, he compartmentalized it... gravitated to the cannabis as an alternative upon his discharge, once he'd regained his center of gravity and emerged from his self-immurement; the fractures left by his losses and lessons grinding him to the bone. Everything it cost him and what he'd earned in exchange. Simon. Arabella. His time in Ireland. Sylvie. The flood. Alice.

The lengths he had gone...

And so Jervis chuckled; the sound dry and hollow, barely touching his eyes. He met Jack’s gaze, his expression tightening as he mulled over the question, tasting the irony in it.

“An afterlife…” he murmured, his eyes drifting. Thoughts and memories broke the surface like apples bobbing in a bucket: Simon and Stephen putting aside their differences over the blessing at Passover; his and Arabella's quiet, but spirited discussions of Heaven and the saints and catechism, the differences between the Old and New Testaments as they strolled along the shoreline. Stories of the witch trials in Ireland, of John Calvin and his legacy in Scotland.

All the old beliefs he’d grown up with circled back and hit like a tidal wave, tied as much to memories of family as to the concept of religious faith itself, all its beauty and diverse forms, yet it left him feeling frigid now. For a little over three decades, he'd told himself that he could appreciate the mythology of it all, even found it strangely comforting at times, but belief? That had always been a different thing entirely.

Jervis' mind tugged him back to reality. He could sense Jack’s curiosity pressing at the edge of his own awareness, a secondary presence so strong it was almost rendered a physical form. "That's.... a complicated notion, from where I'm standing.” He let out a slow, careful breath; curled his fingers back around his necklace as he dissected the question. “But... yes. I'd like to think our loved ones are at peace."

He could map it all in a dozen lines, right down to his own lived experiences, the rules he tried so hard to follow, the ideals that always seemed to warp and fray. There was karma, consequence, perhaps even the lingering shadows of what people might call a curse. But the idea of any higher being calling the shots? It gnawed at him like an old wound. And so Jervis looked back at Jack, almost apologetic, the faint sting of an old ache flickering beneath his words.

He was spared from elaborating with Barton's sudden appearance; lurking on the threshold like a wraith. Poor Jack's confidence and ease withered like a hapless petunia caught in the dead of winter. A few quiet words of dismissal and a pat to the shoulder were all that heralded the reluctant, leery departure of his one potential ally in the wolf's den.

'As phantoms frighten beasts when shadows fall.' Jervis sighed, slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, looked Barton in the eye; as well as he could, anyway, with the lingering gray spots and his missing glasses still impeding his line of sight. “Maybe we each make our own heaven—or our own hell.”

Perhaps that was petty or harsh of him to say out loud... though that was the truth of the matter. Jervis didn’t need religious belief to drive him, after all; he needed only his own peculiar code, that precarious balance between curiosity and cynicism, and the sense of duty he still felt for a daughter who had deserved something far more stable, more secure; safer than the patchwork life he had known. Whatever his flaws, his faults, some small part of him still respected the right to believe—what faith meant to others; its power to inspire, to build, to destroy. The cause and effect of human history, the double-edged promises of faith. And maybe that was the root of it: faith could be a tool, a guide, a balm.

But then the stark, often bitter truths he’d learned through survival would come rushing back. Besides, he reckoned, Barton likely wouldn't give a damn about any of his prior train of thought. In any case, on the topic of hell, Jervis never pictured the vast, cavernous expanse of fire and brimstone that Jonathan Edwards had once preached about in the summer of 1741. No. Hell always conjured up fevered images of a frozen lake in the deepest, darkest part of the center of the earth, untouched by light and warmth and life—the last of Dante Alighieri's nine circles.

'I sometimes think we must be all mad and that we shall wake to sanity in strait-waistcoats.'

He was torn from the thick mire of his thoughts, yanked back outside his mind as if caught in a sudden hurricane at Barton’s next revelation. Jervis shut his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, then reached for the cup of tea Jack had brought him. The liquid within was a warm, golden amber—like sea glass he’d once collected as a child in Bermuda, or the bits Alice would gather along Gotham’s coastline on their rare visits when she was little.

How simple those days were...

"Well." Jervis' voice was completely flat, his brow creasing with incredulity and disgust. Barton’s outline weaved and blurred before his eyes like a will-o’-the-wisp. No more, no more… no room, no room. He felt completely hollow. "Trading one problem for another, are we?" His scarred knuckles bulged as his fingers curled around the delicate porcelain; his grip hard enough to produce a faint, foreboding crack.

He would weep, if he had anymore tears left to shed over their predicament. For Marty and his partner, for the trouble Jack and Matilda had been brought into by association… but none for himself or Barton. He wasn’t certain he was worthy of it; and Barton had no qualms over their actions, he’d freely admitted it at that bistro earlier. Jervis’ hands tingled, as if they were still covered by the bloodied gloves he wore when he dispatched the driver in order to retrieve Alice’s rabbit, wielding his hatpins on pure impulse; there was no premeditation involved, but there was no discounting how surgical his actions had been in their efficacy with each targeted nerve cluster and artery. He wasn’t indulging in self-pity, oh no… nothing so shallow or solipsistic. Not like that at all. Just a pure ant mill of growing dread and horror and regret, one that couldn’t be encompassed by words alone.

His teeth sought the gouges in the corner of his mouth from where he’d previously bit himself in the throes of his nightmares, worrying at the cuts till they began to sting anew.

‘Despair has its own calms.’

[cat-got-your-tongue]

too sweet for me

Dp&W!Logan howlett x fem!reader

Summary: You've not been feeling like yourself, and you take it out on logan until one day he decides he can't take it anymore.

Content Warnings: established relationship | spanking | mention of safe word | dom/sub undertones | fingering | maturbation (male) | facials | so sorry if I left anything out. If you tell me I'll fix it.

Word count: 4.2k

Authors note: I'm still trying to get into the swing of writing. I hope you enjoy. I proofread this one a little bit. My requests are open. Pictures used are not mine found on Pinterest. Divider by @saradika-graphics

My work will always be 18+ Minors do not interact.

You had been in a foul mood all day, no better yet all week. Any little thing Logan did got under your skin. He used your shampoo, and suddenly, you were slinging the bottle across the bathroom. He made your coffee, and you snatched it away from him. He said good morning, and you responded with a roll of your eyes and a "good morning" under your breath. It seemed like all you wanted to do was pick a fight. And your attitude was aimed solely at him.

Logan noticed how relaxed and sweet you were with Wade. He watched as you laughed, and it he wouldn't lie it stung him a bit. You seemed to enjoy that annoying fucks company more than his. Logan had been trying so hard to get back into your good graces for the past couple of days now. When he spoke to you, he made sure his tone of voice was soft. He didn't want to trigger whatever animosity you had for him.

He didn't like feeling as if he were walking on eggshells around you. But he didn't know what to do - or what he did for you to act this way. The only thing he knows is that when you got this way, he hated it. Logan had a hard time controlling his temper, and you certainly knew how to test his patience. So much so that he had to leave the apartment you two live in and spend the night at Wades place.

Today, he had enough.

Logan had been trying to put your bookshelf together today. One you picked out at ikea, and he made a comment on building you a better one that would last much longer. You were hell bent on this particular shelf that could fit right in the corner of your living room. You bugged him all week to do it. But he had been busy working, and then by the time he came home, he was exhausted.

"Baby, can ya' grab me a beer while i do this?" He spoke up as he looked over the instructions. His eyes trained on the visual image on the flimsy piece of paper. His vision straining a bit.

"No," you snapped when logan asked you to get him a beer from the fridge. "Get it yourself. I'm not your maid."

Logan sighed and took a deep breath. He didn't want to snap at you, but you made it really fucking hard not to. "Fine."

He got up, tossing the instructions down and going over to the fridge. You were standing there as his shoulder brushed yours, and his hard gaze fell on you. You shrunk down a bit and went back to sit down at the table. You didn't know why you were being an asshole. You wish you weren't this way. You always seemed to get agitated with the people who never deserved it.

"Wanna tell me what crawled up your ass?"Logan popped his beer open and took a long swig. "I'm trying not to react but it's really hard dealing with your bitchy attitude all week and I've been trying my fuckin' best to please ya."

Logan regretted those words the moment they left his mouth. Your nonchalant reaction to them only pissed him off more.

You didn't respond. You only shrugged your shoulders and went back to reading your book at the table. You couldn't tell him what was wrong, because you had no idea either. He didn't do anything. You were just not in a good mood, and unfortunately, logan was taking the blunt of it. You know his feelings were probably hurt. Especially after seeing you so upbeat and happy when Wade was around.

Logan took another sip of his beer and slammed the bottle down on the table right next to you, causing you to jump a little. He leaned over the back of the chair. his lips ghosting your ear. You could smell the alcohol on his breath, and you didn't need to see his face to know he's mad. You've pushed him too far. He had been patient, and you kept pushing. You kept snapping and being mouthy.

"Go in the bedroom and get undressed." His voice is low and dangerous in your ear.

"But" you tried to argue back, knowing what he wanted to do.

"Don't." His voice was soft again. "No buts I've had about enough of your fuckin' attitude. Go in the bedroom, get undressed, and I'll meet ya' in there."

You turned to look up at him from your seat. Your eyes pleaded for him to change his mind. Yet you knew you deserved it. Everything you've done and said led up to this moment.

"Now." He commanded and picked up his beer and finished it off.

You quickly rose to your feet and carefully got up, trying not to look up at him. He could be intimidating when he's angry. He'd never actually hurt you. You and logan had this agreement since you began dating. Punishments were a pretty normal thing. Logan hated giving them just and much as you hated getting them. (Well, you and him didn't hate them all the time) they did help you, and he knew that. All of the times, when you were overwhelmed with emotions and didn't know how to handle them — this was an outlet for you to let it all out. You would ask for a punishment. Logan always gave you what you wanted and pampered you when it was all done.

You went into your shared room and stripped down until you were completely naked. You sat on the edge of the bed, hanging your head. Hoping logan would take some pity on you. The room was dark, save for the sunset peaking through your curtains.

Logan sat down at the chair you were in before leaving. He tried to collect himself before joining you. He really just wanted you to talk to him. He wanted to understand you. Understand what he did wrong. Understand why you seemed so angry, but he remembered your eyes. You looked so sad and unsure of yourself. All he wanted to do was scoop you up in his arms and protect you from your feelings. He knows doing this will help clear your mind.

He sat there for a couple more minutes, letting you anticipate what was coming, but also trying to calm himself.

Finally, logan walked into the room and saw you at the edge of the bed. You looked defeated. His eyes softened slightly, but he knew he had to go through with this. If you didn't want the punishment, you would use your safeword. You've used it many times before. Since you didn't say anything and you complied to strip off your clothes. He sensed you wanted this punishment if it made you nervous.

"Look at me, baby." He walked to stand above you. His finger lifted your chin up. Your eyes met his. You made it so hard for him to stay mad at you.

You were just so sweet even if you were a fucking pain in the ass to handle. Too sweet for someone like him sometimes.

You looked up at him, his touch was gentle on your face. His hazel eyes weren't boring into yours. He seemed remorseful for what he was about to do. He knew he had to. He couldn't let you continue being so rude and disrespectful towards him. He also knew you needed this. Your body language told him everything.

Logan let go of your chin and took off his white tank top, throwing it across the room. Your eyes ran up and down his body. Your thighs squeezed together. You could feel your arousal already pooling between your legs.

He ran a hand through his hair. "How do ya' want it, hand or belt?"

You hesitated to answer at first.

"Uhmm, your hand." Your voice was quiet.

Logan smirked, noting how quickly your little attitude was already changing. "Alright, it'll be my hand, and we'll do ten spanks. Sound good?"

You nodded and bit down on your bottom lip.

"Use your words, baby." Logan got closer, invading your space. He placed his hands on either side of your hips, his grip firm, but still gentle. He could feel his cock already beginning to strain against the cold metal of his zipper.

"Sounds good." You spoke again quietly.

"Okay." He leaned down and gave the corner of your mouth a quick kiss. "Get up and lay over my lap. You remember what to say if you want this to stop. Yeah?"

"I say red." You jump down off the bed. Logan reluctantly releases your hips but moves back slightly to give you some space.

He sat down in the same spot you were sitting in. You stood there in front of him, your body bare for him. He took you all in and licked his lips. If you weren't being such a brat he'd fuck you instead. God, the things he'd do to you right now. He had to fight those urges. Those primal urges to pull you in his lap and drive his cock deep in your weeping cunt.

You wanted to apologize. You knew it was too little too late for that. No amount of apologizing would help you now. The thought of logan spanking you sent waves of arousal and fear through your body.

"Good girl." Logan praised. His deep, husky voice made your clit pulsate. He reached out, yanking you by the waist, and threw you over his lap.

You gasped as you were now laying across his thighs. His belt buckle digging into your side. Your feet dangling over the floor as you tried not to fall off him. He probably would like that, though. Seeing you fall and watching you get embarrassed.

"Lo, are you mad at me?" You turned to glance up at him over your shoulder.

His quirked an eyebrow up at you. "Mad? Don't ya' think it's a little too late to be askin' me that?" He sighed. "Yeah, I'm mad, but we'll discuss all of that later. Right now, I want ya' to count every spank I give your ass. Okay?"

You turned your head and looked down. You tried to keep your focus on a spot on the floor. It usually helped you deal with the pain and slight humiliation would feel. "Okay."

Logan rubbed his hand over the plush skin of your bottom. You heard him hum as you laid over his lap. Your ass reminded him of a ripe peach he wanted to sink his teeth into. Juicy, firm, soft all the things he liked.

"I hate doin' this. Punishing ya'. I'd much rather be balls deep inside ya' but you just had to hurt my feelings." Logan spoke from behind you. He wasn't really speaking to you rather than at you. He didn't care for your response or sorrys.

"Lo...I- I don't mean to." Your voice broke and your eyes blurred with tears.

You never thought how you were acting would actually hurt his feelings. Logan's never been good at expressing that before. Maybe your sudden mood swings were starting to really affect him. Even if it was your way of asking to be punished — or you were just not feeling like yourself and the sudden wave of sadness made you lash out.

Regardless, it wasn't fair to logan. You see that now. You always saw him as this invincible man where nothing could hurt him. Not even harsh words and the silent treatment. You were wrong. So very wrong.

"Start counting." He interrupted you. His hand, going back to connect with your ass with a harsh slap.

You whimpered, and tears fell from your eyes. "O-ne."

Logan rubbed over the spot he just spanked. You were already crying, and he's barely gotten started. He didn't give you much time to collect yourself before his hand was reconnecting in hard slap to your ass. He watches as the skin ripples from the impact. His cock growing harder watching your ass jiggle as you took your punishment. He had to bit his tongue and not make a comment on it, know how you'd you get embarrassed. Even if he'd love seeing you get that way.

"T-two." You cried out. Your tears falling down your cheeks and onto the floor beneath you, creating small salty puddles.

Logan's hand reeled back again, spanking you over and over. He didn't slow down or go easy on you. Every swat felt like your ass all the way down to your thighs would go numb from the pain. You were a sobbing mess as you struggled to even count for him.

"Shh, shh baby, we're almost done." He soothed you and kissed your temple. "You're doing so good."

Your mind was in a haze now. You couldn't remember being upset. The only thing on your mind was logan and the stinging pain he was inflicting to your ass. His rough hands groping at your skin before delivering another harsh blow.

You could feel your juices running down your legs. You hoped logan wouldn't notice how turned on you also were getting. The more you cried and got it all out, the better you felt. As weird as it probably sounded to some. This made you feel at ease once it was all said and done.

Logan noticed you go silent. The only sound coming from your lips were soft cries.

"Do ya' know what number we're at now?" He rubbed down your back, avoiding your ass for now.

You shook your head. "N-no."

"We're at eight. almost done." Logan reassured, his hand slowly inching down your back and resting on the curve of your sore cheeks.

You took a few steady deep breaths. In and out. In and out. Repeating the action over and over again.

Logan observed the way you were trying to pull yourself together. He gave you a small smile before continuing on. He gave your ass a light little tap, signaling you he was about to start again. You braced yourself as your body hung over his lap. Your toes danced across the floor while you desperately tried to keep yourself perfectly balanced.

"Nine." You yelped a little louder. His hand came down again. The sounds that were made each time his palm connected to your skin sent a shiver down your spine.

"....t-ten." Your voice was raspy, barely even above a whisper as you counted the final blow.

"There we go, baby. We're done. We're all done." Logan went right back into soothing you. He looked down towards your ass watching your body trembling. "You're so strong, ya' know that? So good."

You tried to catch your breath as you choked back another sob. Your face was tear stained, and your makeup ruined.

Logan rubbed up and down the back of your thighs as well. His hand sneaking in between them. He bit his lip as he noticed how wet you got during your punishment. Your inner thighs sticky with your slick. He ran a finger along your wet slit, teasing you. Your nails dig into his strong thighs.

"Mmm, you feel so soft." He purred above you.

Your pussy was drenched with your juices. Your body was still shaking from your punishment. Your ass felt like it was on fire. Logan moved his middle finger up and down along your slit before taking his middle and index finger to spread open your sensitive lips. You turned your head to watch as logan admired your sex dripping for him. He loved the way it glistened. He watched as your walls clenched around nothing, practically begging him to fill you up.

All that attitude, sadness, and feelings of self-doubt of yours were fading away.

"Logan, please," you begged him. Your voice, still raspy. He did a double take at your disheveled appearance. Your eyes bloodshot with your mascara running, smudging your under eyes.

Logan felt so bad for making you cry like that. He felt even worse for not taking it easy on you when he was spanking you. Even if it helped you get over whatever it was you that bothered you. But he couldn't deny how hard it made him as well.

He didn't respond as he spread your lips further apart, letting the cold air of your bedroom hit your entrance. Your face heating up while logan fully exposes you. Your clit throbbing as it goes ignored. He takes his thumb and rubs the outer part of your opening, getting it nice and ready. You moan, and logan doesn't stop looking at you.

"Ya' have the tightest little pussy." He commented, feeling how your entrance wants to take in his thumb, but he doesn't push it in. Not yet.

Instead, he pulls it away, and you whine; a small pout forming on your face. You began squirming over his lap, his erection pressing right against your stomach. You can see just how feral he wants to be become. His pupils blown completely until out, you can't see the color anymore. His nostrils flared while smelling your arousal all in the room.

"This is how it's gonna be. I'll let ya' cum on my fingers. That's all ya' get tonight. Jus' my fingers. You don't deserve my dick. " His tone was strong and commanding as he told you how the rest of the night was going to go.

That's when you knew your punishment didn't just stop once the spanking was over with.

"Will you still help me get cleaned up afterward?" You felt a little disappointed and on the verge of crying again when he rejected you. Logan usually always fucked you after your punishment. This time it was so different.

"Baby, I'm always gonna take of ya." Logan reassured. Which almost made you feel better.

He finally slipped a finger inside you. Your walls instinctively squeeze around his thick digit. You cried out in pleasure as you squirmed more. The pad of his finger slowly rubbing and pressing firmly on that spongey spot on your walls. You arched your back and dug your nails into his skin through his jeans.

"Hmmphf.... more lo— I need more." You begged.

Your head felt dizzy from all the sensations you felt. Your ass was still in so much pain but logans attention to your pussy kept your mind off it. Normally, he would tease you longer. Make you beg until you were a complete wreck. He couldn't bring himself to do that tonight. He felt guilty for spanking you the way he did. But still wasn't going to give you his cock.

Logan gently pushed another finger inside you. You bit your lip to stifle a moan as he began pumping them in and out of you slowly. You felt his cock twitch in his jeans under you. His fingers knuckle deep in your cunt as he trusted them inside you. He curled them up and made sure to pay close attention to your g-spot, pressing on it and massaging it. Your walls clenching up and your toes curling.

"You okay, baby? Logan checked in, but his fingers didn’t slow.

"Y-yes...m'okay keeping going" You stammered out, as you tried to keep focus.

He chuckled and picked up the pace. His fingers were making your pussy create the most vulgar wet sounds you've ever heard. Your slick soaking his hand as he fucked you. Your legs shook and he took his other hand to rub tight circles over your clit. You could feel your orgasm building up. That coil in your lower belly tightening as logan fingered you hard and deep.

"F-fu- logan, I can't hold it." You warned him. Your moans were getting louder and more desperate.

"Aaah! god! I'm gonna-" You mewled while your cunt was being spread open. His long, thick fingers working in and out of you.

That only spurred him on until you were cuming all over his hands. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you hold onto his thighs for dear life.

Logan didn't stop. His fingers still moved in and out of you while his other hand payed attention to your throbbing clit. He milked your pussy as you rode out your release. He finally slowed down and stilled his hands. Carefully, he removed his fingers with a loud shlick. A string of your juices still connecting to them. He brought them up to his lips, sticking them in his mouth.

Logan hummed at the taste of you. "You're so sweet. " You wanted to hide your face. Your eyes glossy from your orgasm.

"Come on, on your knees." He patted your ass gently. You didn't move at first. Your body was too weak, and your mind was still too cloudy think.

He noticed your hesitation and figured out why. He placed his hands on your waist and moved you gently to the floor to sit back on your knees.

"Jus' because I'm not sticking my dick in you tonight doesn't mean I can't get off, too." He grunted and unbuckled his belt.

Logan unzipped his pants and his cock sprung free almost smacking you in the face. The head of his cock leaking precum. You lick your lips and immediately try to taste him. He grabbed your jaw firm but not enough to hurt you.

"Ah ah, and what do you think you're doing?" He smirked, taking his cock in his hand.

"I thought you'd want me to use my mouth." You looked up at him, confusion written all over your face.

"Ya' don't get to blow me either. Ya' get to watch me jerk myself off and cum all over that pretty face of yours." Logan let go of your jaw and stood up straight. His form towering over yours as you kneeled in front of him.

"Oh." You wiped your eyes. You felt rejected yet again, but honestly, you understand why. You were a bitch to him for the past week. It was only fair and definitely part of the punishment.

"If you're good. I might let you ride me tomorrow mornin'." He looked down at you, giving you a small smile. You know him telling you no was just as difficult.

Logans abs flexed as his hand slowly started stroking his cock. His thumb pushing down on his tip, smearing in his precum. He let out a loud hiss and groaned. You watched from your position. You shift in your spot as you feel yourself getting wetter. Logan was taking his time. He was making a show of it – wanting you to see what you're missing. His body glistened with sweat. His mouth parted as he muttered "fuck" under his breath.

His hand moved up and down, pumping himself above you. Your eyes were in awe at how beautiful he was. You watched how his abs flexed and his Adam's apple danced. You wanted to reach out and help him. You wanted to apologize with your mouth full of his cock. He wasn't going to let you do any of that.

"Ahh, goddammit. If you weren't such a brat, I'd have ya' split open right now." He grunted again. "Make ya call me sir with my dick in the back of your throat."

"You still can." You reminded him.

He laughed. "Nice try, but no. Only good girls get my dick. Ya' haven't been good."

You frowned and kept your hands in your lap. Your juices were dripping down your legs and little to the floor. You've never been more frustrated and turned on in your life. You watched logan stroking himself. His eyes half lidded, and his muscles flexed with every movement. His pace quickened and you could tell he was about to cum. He cupped his balls with his other hand, making his knees buckle slighlty. Your clit ached at the sight before you.

"Goddamn," he whispered to himself while his hand moved at a faster pace. "See what ya' do to me? How hard ya' make me?"

You watched in awe as your pussy ached more for him. You were on the verge of pouting but remembered what he told you. "Ya can ride me in the mornin" his words echoed in your ear. That promise was enough to keep you at bay and kneeling down before him like a good girl. His good girl. That's what you wanted to be again.

His chest was rising and falling faster. Logan gave himself a few more long strokes, and he was finishing all over your face. He growled harshly and ropes of cum shot out onto your mouth and chin. He was careful not to get any in your eyes or hair. Logan kept pumping himself, milking every single drop he had left in him. You went to move away, but the hand that was on his balls grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you closer. Your face just millimeters away from his cock and heavy balls. His hand finally stilled.

All you could hear was the sound of his heavy breathing. You waited until he came down from his high. His release had hit him hard, too, just as yours did. Logan had been pent up with so much frustration over these past couple of weeks because of you. You felt his hand letting go of your neck. You went to rub the sore spot where his fingers dug into your skin. He didn't speak to you yet. He was still trying to catch his breath after his release.

Logan dragged his hand down his face and looked you over once more. He gently took you by the upper arms and put you on your feet. Your legs felt wobbly, and the stinging pain on your ass returned. Logans eyes trailed up and down your body, focusing on your face.

You were a mess, cheeks all tear stained. Your makeup smudged and now his cum dripping down your chin. You were a beautiful sight. One logan wanted to admire forever. If he had his phone; he'd make this moment his lockscreen and jerk off to it when you weren't around.

Your tongue inched out to lick some of the cum off your lips. You loved the way he tasted and hated how he wouldn't let you have more. Logan felt his cock twitching again but chose to ignore it. He let out a shuddered breath and shook his head.

"Ya' alright? Was that too much?" He bent down, grabbing his discarded shirt off the floor. Logan carefully wipe off the mess on your face, starting with his cum.

"Not too much." You shook your head. "I'm fine." You tried to fix up your makeup, but it was really no use.

He leaned down and gave your forehead a sweet kiss.

"We need to get some aloe on your ass. It'll help sooth that burning feelin" Logan moved around the room as you stood in your spot. You wrapped your arms around your middle while you watched him hunt for the aloe and put his jeans back on.

Logan noticed how you were hugging around yourself. He cursed under his breath, fixing himself back in his pants. There was something still lingering in the air. He couldn't put his finger on it.

"C'mere baby." He took your arms from around you and pulled you to him in a warm embrace. You buried your face in his chest, taking in his scent. Logan could sense how you needed his comfort more than some lotion right now.

You two stood in eachothers arms for what felt like hours. He finally spoke up, breaking the silence.

"If ya' don't wanna talk about what's been bothering ya' I want pressure. Jus' know I'm all ears once you're ever ready to tell me"

You nodded and closed your eyes, not wanting him to let you go.

"Sometimes I don't know what's wrong." You whispered to him.

"And that's okay." He kissed the top of your head. "Let's take a bath together, and I'll cook ya' dinner."

"Are you gonna finish my bookshelf?" You moved your head away to meet his gentle gaze.

Logan chuckled and playfully swatted your ass. "Yeah, yeah, I'll finish that damn bookshelf."

The rest of your night was spent with you in logans arms after he helped get you all cleaned up. He got our your favorite sweatshirt and made you food. You sat on the couch watching him get frustrated with the instructions to your bookshelf that he had to remind you he could've just made you a better one. Logan did end up finishing it for you and joined you on the couch, pulling you into his lap where you both ended up falling asleep.

[lacy-oh-lacy]

i genuinely need you to write something for rio vidal plzzzzzz i’ll take anything but your writing is perfect so id love for you to write something *cough* dominant jealous rio *cough*

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉'𝒔 𝒈𝒓𝒊𝒑

𝑴𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕

𝑨/𝑵: Omg thank you, Anon. You're too sweet 𖹭

𝑪𝑾: Fem!Reader, Dom!Rio, Jealous!Rio, Soft domming, knife play, biting, magical G!P, possessiveness

Contrary to all common sense, the quickest way to find yourself on Death’s radar was not through an act of death itself. Not by losing your life or taking another's…

No, it was through her girlfriend.

A stranger's lingering gaze or a friend's pda never escaped Rio’s attention, and a repeat offender, like oh say… that coworker of yours you were talking to at that very moment…

Well, they managed to make an enemy out of the force of nature that could usually pride herself on her indiscriminate apathy.

Rio lurked in the shadows outside your workplace, eyes darkening as that fool made you laugh.

She wasn't even two minutes late to pick you up, and already that snake was curling around you. Unbelievable.

You didn't think anything of it, Rio knew, but she could see in that man's eyes every disgusting thought he was having about you.

It made her sick, it made her burn.

Well, if the shades of purple littering your neck didn't clue him in to the fact that you were taken, she was beyond willing to do it herself.

Under the cover of darkness she shifted her attire with a thought, striding over in a new, clean-cut suit that made his own look like ratty hand-me-downs.

You perked up as soon as you noticed her and it made her heart leap. Your bright smile, your appreciative eyes taking in her new look…

He could never make you glow like that.

“Hey, Baby.”

Rio couldn't help a quick smile reserved only for you as she joined you under the streetlight, arm wrapping around your waist. “Hello, my love. Sorry I'm late, work was murder.”

She turned to face your companion, with a cold and withering stare. A look that could take years off a life.

“Who's your friend?”

You could never truly estimate the depths of Rio's jealousy but you knew that look well enough to know you had to get her out of there.

And you knew it well enough to not be surprised by the intensity she brought to the bedroom that night.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

“I missed you today.”

Rio replied in her softest tone, someone less attuned to her might not have even heard the boundless resentment living within it, “You seemed like you were enjoying yourself.”

Leisurely, she traced her knife from your jaw, down your neck, applying a spine-tingling pressure just short of breaking skin.

“Yeah well, that new guy I work with is pretty fun.” You said breathily, not biting. Her blade caught on the collar of your shirt, lingering above your hammering heart, and Rio laughed.

Never before had such stubborn brattiness looked so good on someone, but you were just something else… teasing her even with a knife to your chest…

She cut through the fabric in one rough slash. “Careful, Lover. Wouldn't want to shorten such a fun man's life span, would you?”

“You wouldn't do that.” you challenged

“Try me. I'd do anything to keep you.”

The sincerity of the statement should have frightened you, but it was intoxicating. To be the object of such devotion from Death herself was a head-spinning high that no drug, spell or new lover could match.

“You'll always have me, Rio.”

There was a pain to the look she gave you in return, a wound behind her eyes, but she found a smile for you before she circled behind you.

“I’d better.” She breathed in your ear, pulling the tatters of what used to be your shirt from your body.

The tip of her knife traveled down your spine, barely grazing your skin on a trail to your skirt, which she skillfully cut open, baring you to her completely.

“My pretty girl…”

Her hand smoothed over your ass-cheek with near reverence before disappearing between your legs.

You gasped, skin aflush, but all too soon you realized she wasn't done playing with you yet.

“Please.” You whimpered as her fingers slid across your folds, just short of where you needed them.

“Say my name.”

“Rio, please, I need you so bad.”

She drew a lazy circle on your clit and your breath hitched, “Well how can I say no to that?”

A tingling warmth followed her hand on your back as she pushed you forward, forcing your chest onto your dresser and you into a bend.

You barely noticed the hardness of the surface against your breasts. You couldn't concentrate over the thought of being so exposed to her, and even that died with your last remaining brain cells as you felt the tip of her cock against your entrance.

She could've gone right in, you were wet enough for her to, but she slowly dragged up and down your slick folds, cock head catching on your clit every time and setting your nerves ablaze.

“Rio.” You whined.

“So impatient.” She laughed. “Don't worry, Baby, I'll take care of you.”

With that she pushed through your centre, slowly and gently sinking inside of you, savoring every blissful moan you let out.

She very nearly lost herself as you jerked against her but she resisted the rough thrust you were so clearly asking for. Your pathetic, little mewls, music to her ears.

She bottomed out inside of you, letting you adjust, letting you enjoy being filled. Then quicker than you could process she pulled out and slammed back in.

You cried out, but Rio wasn't slowing down this time, pounding you again and again with deep, unapologetic thrusts.

“You're mine. You hear that? Say it.”

“I'm yours, Rio.” You choked out, voice bouncing with her pistoning hips.

“Yeah, you’re mine. My good girl.”

She leant forward, her breasts flush against your back, as she sank her teeth into your shoulder, leaving behind a delightful sting.

Rio wasn't usually one for quickies but tonight she'd make an exception. There was a desperation inside of her stronger than mere lust. She had to see you cum.

She twisted her arm around your hip so she could work your clit, rubbing in a frenzy. “Tell me you want me.”

“Want you. Need you.”

“Then cum for me Baby, I know you can do it.”

Rio was nothing short of amazing. The concentrated skill on your clit and the near supernatural speed of her thrusts unraveled you like only she could.

Your mouth fell open and your walls clenched around her in a strangling hold as lust threatened to burn you alive.

“God! Rio!”

You came all over her and right on cue she emptied her cock inside of you, filling you to your very core with what felt like neverending ropes of cum, trapped inside of you by her refusal to pull out.

“I'm never gonna let anyone else do this to you, baby.” She breathed out, mouth returning to your shoulder to lick over the bite mark she left. “Never, for all eternity, I'm yours, and you’re mine.”