#i'm sorry for being such a shit friend

[spaghetticat3899]

When you absolutely despise something a lot of people like, and no matter what way you look at it you cannot see the appeal, but you know you can’t talk about it in public or else you’ll get dogpiled to hell and back, so you just kinda sit there frothing at the mouth like this

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me stubbornly forcing myself to drink green tea and rest from my THIRD COLD THIS MONTH

[lloydfrontera]

my biggest gripe with the manhwa rn is that they made javier more of an asshole than he is in the novel and then took away most of the scenes where we see him being kind and soft with others.

javier can be an ass, he is a brat and he's especially annoying when he's with lloyd, but above anything else he is kind and loyal and selfless and good. i cannot emphasize enough how good javier is. he's the kind of person who cannot see someone in trouble or danger and do nothing about it. he's the kind of person who would sacrifice his life for total strangers and no hope of any reward. he's the kind of person who can't even enjoy a lavish party without feeling guilty because he'd much rather help people in need with that money.

he's so fucking good, lloyd is a little annoyed by it because he keeps getting dragged into life-threatening situations because javier just won't stop helping people they don't even know. mind you, lloyd is also endeared by this and would not want him to change but god can it be frustrating in his endeavor to keep them both alive.

there's this particular scene that i just. i'm so sad it was cut. where javier is helping around the refugee camp, going without sleeping and eating so he can focus on helping as many people as possible and then he spots a little kid that got lost on his way back. so he decides to help him.

and he's so gentle with this kid.

Javier walked over to the kid and called him. The flustered boy looked up. Javier strove to put on a warm smile on his face. "Are you lost?" “...” The boy nodded, his eyes all wet. Javier carefully stroked the boy's head. "I think I can help you with that. Why don't you let me help find your tent?" suggested Javier. “...” The boy nodded again. "But why didn't you eat the food? It's going to get cold. Are you not hungry?" "I am… hungry," the boy finally said. But what he said next caught Javier by surprise. "But I won't eat it," said the boy. "Why not?" "My mother is hungrier." "Is that so?" "Yes." “...” Javier wondered why this kid came out to take the food when he had a mother. There must be a reason, he thought to himself. He held out his hand. "I will hold the tray for you." "..." "I won't spill it. I promise." "Okay..." Javier took the tray and wrapped the boy’s hand with his own.

like. god. javier is not a naturally warm person. he's very reserved and stoic and sometimes outright cold, but he still tries so hard with this kid. because he knows what it's like to be him. he knows what it's like to be a child and be scared and hungry and without a home. and he remembers how much it meant for a kind adult to reach out a hand to him and help. and he wants to be that to others too.

everything he does, he does because he genuinely believes it's the right thing to do and therefore his obligation. and even when it doesn't come naturally to him, like being warm and gentle to a child, he still tries his best to do so.

and like that wasn't enough, when they finally find the kid's mom, javier finds out she's blind. recently blinded actually. that she used all her strength to get her child to safety and now she has to depend on him to take care of them because she can't do it anymore. her blouse is smudged with porridge.

so javier kneels down and explains who he is, why he's there and that he wants to help. he lifts up a spoonful of food and slowly and carefully starts to feed her himself. she's a complete stranger and javier doesn't hesitate one second to do this for her.

this is who javier is!! this is who he is at his core!! he's kind and he's selfless and he's above all else good!!

if your audience can't imagine javier comforting a child, then you failed your audience. you missed the point of his character.

[strugglingatart]

Funny, but not funny haha, funny weird that despite Gorgug being the one who has canonically kissed a guy that somehow Fabian, who only has expressed interest in women is the definitively gay™ to some of y'all

[0brighta]

✦

[sweet-lovelys]

Idk if I’m just a loser with no friends, but being severely depressed and putting your phone on DND all day to see that nobody checked in kinda hurts lol. Maybe it’s just me.

[tovaicas]

↳ ꜰꜰxɪᴠ — ʀᴏᴜᴠᴀꜱᴛʀᴇ ᴅᴇ ʟᴇᴜᴠᴇᴄʜɪᴇʀ ⇄ ᴇꜱᴛᴇᴇᴍ

Today, tomorrow — forever on, from one war to the next. Have you ever wondered when our war ends? Does it even matter? Were we not meant to be nothing but weapons from the day we were born, our edges kept sharp and bloody when needed and hung up and set aside like good, obedient little soldiers when not?

(Steel Temper! Heavensbreaker! The Warrior of Light! Our Weapon of Light!)

Look in the mirror. Do you still feel him crawling up your spine, setting within your bone? Do you feel it gnawing at the edge of your soul? Feel the blood in your fingers again. Remember your purpose. Remember the grind of the bone beneath your fist. Remember. Remember. Remember. Stare into my eyes and REMEMBER.

(Even now, you continue to deny it. Well. Deny me all you want. You cannot deny what we have done.)

You feel it, don’t you? There’s no point to hiding it. I know you. Feel the furious pulse of hot blood in your head. Feel it in your teeth. Feel it in your throat. Feel it in your heart. Feel my hand on yours, cloak it in scale, and grind it deep into where it needs to be. Again, and then again. One broken shield exchanged for another. It’s never enough. It will never be enough.

(Or you could beat every single one of them to death with your bare hands. You would like that, wouldn’t you?)

But you know as well as we �� that it was never the Eye.

(I knew you would.)

It was always just you.

[cybercasket]

Guys. Guys Ben Drowned's canon last name isn't actually Lawman

I've known this for a while, and more I think about it, the more it makes me feel like I should say something 😭

It was a misconception that started with an older version of Ben's page on the Jadusable Wiki. (It was never used for any non-ARG version of Ben prior to this.) I remember spotting Lawman being used as Ben's last name around 2016-2018 or so, and it has been edited out of his page since 2020. (It was on the page they have for the dead child rather than the Network/entity. I think it might've happened before they moved off Fandom wiki, because I think I remember seeing comments and their new wiki doesn't have those).

During the second arc (2011-2012), Jadusable mailed some bonus material to people who donated to him. One of these bonus materials was a section from a newspaper, which describes the murder-suicide of two members of the Lawman family along with their son, with some tampering to the article that appears to have been done by BEN.

You can zoom into the image and read it, or check out it's page on the wiki here (which I highly recommend as it has some added information, like what all the censored words are.) It's a very interesting piece of lore that's fun to analyze--however, I wouldn't recommend reading it if you're super squeamish or sensitive to graphic details related to death. (The method of the killing itself isn't mentioned.)

While this seems to be about Ben on the surface, it's actually not. The only way we can tell is by the date of the newspaper: In the column to the left of the "Spring Is In The Air!" paragraph, the year 2011 is mentioned, but we know that Ben died on 4/23/2004. The wording of the Lawman event feels recent (as if they're talking about an event a few months prior), when Ben's death would've been far gone by now.

With what's likely BEN tampering on the top right (where they creatively use block-out poetry to say "You shouldn't have done that," among many other things) combined with the mention of someone's son dying, it makes a ton of sense that the wiki editors assumed that Ben is a member of this Lawman family that appears here. At some point, screenshots of the wiki ended up being circulated and the larger Creepypasta fandom accepted Lawman as being Ben's "real" last name.

Lawman is actually the last name of a different (and much less relevant) character, Tyler, who appears briefly in the first and third arcs. It's not entirely clear what happened to him or his family, and I think the Newspaper Article is intended to be fun bonus material for Jadusable's donators rather than something that's meant to supply important information about the ARG characters--something like Ben's last name would be crucial for puzzles and passwords, and would give the 50 donators who received the article an unfair advantage (and Jadusable isn't the type of creator who'd be okay with that). Regardless, it carries some interesting implications about the Behavioral Event Network, and Matt's initials are also here for some reason. It's probably one of the most head-spinning materials in the whole game.

[darsynia]

Just wanted to say, I miss interacting with yinz, and I'll admit I'm struggling; lost a dear friend who took his own life this week. I hadn't seen him in a while, and I regret that. It's the first person I've lost from my generation that was a big part of my life for many years. 45 is too young.

I'm posting to explain why I've been completely MIA except for my queue, but also to say: if there's someone you care about that you haven't spoken to in a while, reach out. Yes, they might be busy. Yes, they might wonder where the fuck you've been--but they'll know they were on your mind, and that could make a difference.

If YOU are struggling, I'm here to virtual hug, to write you something, to be a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on. The thing is, I don't think my friend would have reached out. I think he would have thought my life was full enough.

It's not. It's emptier without him. My life would be emptier without a lot of you, too. I promise that I'd rather miss a chore, not get a story finished, or ask one of my kids to come back in a little while or talk to their dad rather than you to feel like you shouldn't bother me, and I suspect that I'm not the only one.

Here's me reaching out: I feel VERY much like a bother when I post about my own struggles. This is both my plea and my gift: please don't feel that you need to comment! I definitely appreciate it (and I've not responded to comments on the last post, but tbh I haven't been online much, ILU I promise), but I also don't want to seem like I'm 'taking up space' or 'always have something going on.' This is very likely to be negative reinforcement from my own issues, and I'm working on it 💚💚💚💚💚

It is my delight, honor, and genuine pleasure to read and comment on your stories, and it hurts not to be able to lately. I owe Siri a fic and I look forward to writing it, albeit late for the fest!

[kennyomegasweave]

We are 9 episodes in on My Stand In and I'm still hissing at my screen every time Sol shows up.

That man was really out here ranting and raving and being all WHY AREN'T YOU GUYS MAD about Ming as if he was the one being wronged like Joe didn't whole ass watch his damn body be cremated the day before. He really thinks he a main character and he's not even the possible second choice love interest.

Like he really dragged Joe away while he was calling for Ming and then told Joe to snap out of it cause Ming doesn't love him. Good to see he's still willing to physically drag Joe away from things he doesn't like, no matter what Joe wants, even in his second life.

He also has the audacity to be out here refusing to read the damn room and see that Joe looks uncomfortable AF anytime he drops a random "I care about you so much" line because it's not needed nor appreciated. He smooth brought Joe into his press conference to call him his boyfriend! And we all know good and damn well Joe wouldn't have agreed to that.

And then he was out here trying to fight Ming at the afterparty saying he doesn't give a fuck knowing good and damn well it would be Joe's ass if a public fight happened because he is the most unknown of the unknowns, while Ming's family is wealthy and Sol is, at the very least, semi-famous.

He's just always talking mad shit about how Ming is terrible and how he wants to save Joe from him and blah blah, but then he's instigating fights with Ming left and right. And personally, if I knew my friend was with a shitty man, I wouldn't keep antagonizing that man knowing my friend is the one who's dealing with the consequences every time. But I would actually want better for my friend because I care about them as a person and not as an ideal image I built in my head of someone I want to date. And that is clearly where Sol and I differ.

Like Ming is a delusional asshole, no argument there, but Sol is a Nice Guy and nah. I want him GONE. Let him go back to Korea and get some dick there. Cause he's not an option for Joe, nor was he ever at any point during this show, yet he really thinks he has relevancy here. Ming is better than me (or more insecure) cause I would have long since told Sol you don't compare when you don't compete.

[k3t4min5]

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

[serenfloras]

i'm gonna say it. for a manga that is so centered on free will, inheritance of will and freedom overall people sure love to theorize about luffy's entire life being forged by others with him being predestined as nika's next reincarnation huh

[outlying-hyppocrate]

well. did you fucking miss me.

[nessism]

i wish someone loved only me and only saw me and had me as their number one priority

[theboxfort]

Can't believe I had to block a long time mutual because they just HAD to support Israel's genocidal regime while calling Palestinians on tumblr "scammers" and "rehashed Russian scam bots", this is genuinely disappointing.