#i'm so sorry kyle baby you deserve better | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doodling-doodle · 20 days

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Dear Doodle

I believe it is time for more ABO

Well, as you wish!

---

Kyle was now six months along. Six months... It felt like not much time had passed.

But he knew it had. When his belly was so heavy and his baby girl was kicking all the time, how could he not?

He found himself lying in bed one morning, tired but unable to sleep. Alex was holding him, his arm acting as his pillow while his hand was on his belly, rubbing a line into the swell.

Were they still on the middle name debate? Yeah, but they hadn't talked about it in a while. But he was thinking of names that they could maybe compromise on...

He just felt tired. He was sore, he was tired, he was swollen, and he was honestly ready to have this be over so he could meet his baby.

"You okay?" Alex asked, voice raspy from sleep.

"I wanna sleep but I can't..." He replied, tearing up slightly. Stupid.

"I'm sorry, baby..." Alex said, sighing, "I know it's only three... I can go make breakfast? We have to get on base in a few hours- you know what, I'm going to call Price and tell him you won't be on base today, I think you need a break."

Normally he would fight it... but he couldn't disagree, he needed rest and a break.

"I'm not too hungry right now..." He said, "Maybe if I just get up and do something, I'll exhaust myself and force myself to sleep."

"Ah, ah, ah, that's not good." Alex said, sitting up, "Don't do that. Right now, you need rest, for both you and Rosa."

He sat up slowly, rubbing his belly as he did, groaning, "I don't know what else to do..."

"Why don't I... make you something warm? That might do something." Alex said, rubbing his shoulder as he held his hand on his belly.

He nodded, and Alex kissed him and his belly before turning on the bedside lamp and yawning, walking out of the room and downstairs, passing the now fully decorated nursery as he did.

He found himself looking in the living room as he waited for water to boil so he could make Kyle some ramen. He smiled softly, thinking about holding his baby girl on the couch, playing with her, feeding her, rocking her to sleep... Oh, he was so excited. He was going to cherish his little girl. Just had to help Kyle through these next few months. He knew it was getting harder on him, but he always said it was worth it. He fought a little when Price decided to take him out of training recruits and running drills and purely put him on desk duty, but ultimately took it when he realized just how hard it was for him to actually run drills. It was hard for Alex to see him in pain, whether it was from Rosalie kicking or from Braxton Hicks, he always felt so bad seeing him either curling up in pain or crying, and all he could do was hold him.

But he would always do it. That was his husband and father of his future child. He was more than happy to help them. He would always help them, he truly loved doing it.

He would love his child more than anything. He already did.

...

Kyle hummed softly as he stood from his desk, walking out of his office and to the mess hall. He did get quite a bit of paperwork that morning, mission reports, deliveries, and things he needed to write up. But he was starving, so he would take the break. Even if he didn't really like whatever was in the mess-

"Hey, mi sobrino!"

He turned to the common room, seeing Ale and Rudy in the kitchenette.

"Come here, we got our own lunch." Ale said, smiling, "You deserve better than the slop of the mess hall."

He smiled softly, walking in as Ale patted his shoulder, marching him to the couch, "But don't think for a second you're doing more work."

"Tío, I'm fine, I'm just doing paperwork."

"Doesn't matter. You are growing a whole human inside of you and that's hard work." Ale sat him down, making sure he was comfortable, "Stay there." He said as he walked back to the kitchenette.

He pouted, but stayed there and leaned back slightly, mindlessly rubbing his belly as he closed his eyes, listening to Ale and Rudy as they cooked.

He perked up when he heard his phone go off, seeing a text from Alex.

"Almost back now. How are you?"

He smiled softly, "I'm fine. Ale and Rudy are cooking and telling me to sit down, like I haven't been all day."

"You're not used to being told to relax, huh?"

"I still miss working with recruits!"

"I know, but you might be back at it after she's born."

"What if I don't wanna wait?"

"You have to :) Be back soon!"

He rolled his eyes, chuckling softly.

"Alex?" Rudy asked.

"Alex..." He sighed happily, "He's on his way back from Farah's... Something came up, she needed something."

"Field related?"

"No, something else... He should be here soon." He smiled softly, hearing Rudy chuckle.

"Shocked he took it up, considering how attentive he is to you." He said, bringing over a plate.

He chuckled, taking it from him, "I kinda volunteered him for it."

"You're not used to being so taken care of, huh?"

"Not really... Feel more bad for him than anything, he always needs to be around me. Trying to give him a break."

"So you sent him off?" Ale asked, chuckling a little.

"Yeah..."

"You don't know how to be pregnant, Kyle. You're supposed to be taken care of!"

He glared at Rudy, chuckling softly, "Maybe so... I will say, it is nice to be taken care of like that..."

"Of course it is."

He smiled softly, putting his now empty plate down as he sighed, "Fuck, I scarfed that down, Rudy... Love your cooking."

He chuckled, "Maybe I'll start cooking more when you have to stay on base... though that's increasingly rare."

He giggled softly, "Even so-" He winced slightly, feeling Rosalie kick him hard and a sharp pain in his belly, "Rosa... Please..."

"You okay?" Ale asked, sitting closer to him.

"Just kicking me..." He said, holding his belly softly as he breathed, "... And Braxton Hicks."

Ale nodded softly, holding his hands as he winced again, whimpering slightly.

"You're okay, you're okay." He whispered, holding Kyle close to him, "It'll be over soon, just breathe."

"I'll get you some water." Rudy said, standing and going back to the kitchenette.

"Al-Alex will be back soon, right?" Kyle asked, leaning against Ale softly.

"Yeah. He's almost here, don't worry, okay?"

Kyle nodded, trying to breathe through the pain and letting Ale rub his back and his belly while he rocked him softly. It helped a lot, but it, thankfully, stopped quickly, and he didn't even notice when it all stopped.

"Sometimes I hate being pregnant..." He said, huffing out a chuckle.

"I think I can see why." Rudy said, sitting beside him and handing him a glass of water, "But... it will be worth it in the end, right?"

"Of course..." He smiled softly, "But damn it, sometimes it's so annoying!"

Ale chuckled, letting go of him softly, "You're doing hard work. You're gonna do just fine as a father, I know it."

He truly hoped so... He wanted to be so bad.

...

For days, almost two weeks after Alex returned, Kyle would curl up next to him, or in his arms. As much as he wanted to give Alex a break, he really missed him. And Alex missed him too. He was happy to hold him for hours, kiss all over his stomach, and cook whatever he wanted that day.

He just finished up with the training for the recruits, telling them to go enjoy the next few hours before they would go to the shooting range.

He went to go find Kyle in his office, seeing him sitting at his desk and writing up papers on his laptop.

"You alright, baby?" He asked, making Kyle look up, smiling.

"I'm fine. Just about done with these." Kyle replied, clearly rubbing his belly as if Rosa had just kicked him, "We still going out for dinner tonight?"

"If you're up for it." He walked up to him, sitting next to him and pulling two containers out of his bag, "I got some lunch."

"Aw, love..." Kyle smiled, leaning over to kiss his cheek softly, "You're the best."

"Don't I know it."

They both chuckled, and Kyle leaned back, opening the container and eyes rolling back when the smell hit him, "God, you're so good at cooking these."

Alex smirked, closing Kyle's laptop for him and turning to him as Kyle started eating. He just watched him for a minute, almost forgetting he had his own lunch as he was enamored with his husband.

He found himself staring at Kyle all the time, when he was just doing anything. Eating, sleeping, sitting down- anything. He always thought he was the most beautiful man in the world, but now, he saw their baby with him, and it was like his beauty just enhanced by one thousand.

It had been almost seven months. Seven. There were only two and a half months left before they could meet their baby girl.

"What are you looking at?" Kyle asked.

"The most beautiful people in the world."

"Oh, she's sharing that place with me now?"

He chuckled, "I have a feeling she's going to look like you. So yes."

Kyle blushed softly, rocking his chair side to side as he kept eating, "Sh-Shut up..."

"Aw, come on, you don't want her to look like you?"

"I think she'll look like you!"

"Wanna bet?"

Kyle rolled his eyes playfully, "You hope she looks like me, don't you?"

"Yes!"

"I hope she gets your smile, how about that?"

Alex laughed, shaking his head slightly.

They both knew they would love her no matter what. They already adored her.

But Alex did have hopes that she would look like Kyle. Because he was the one doing all the work. He deserved to have her look like him.

...

At seven and a half months, Kyle got his final ultrasound. Alex struggled watching Kyle decline slightly, how he needed help to walk, was a lot more tired, and was sad about Price officially putting them both on leave. But the joy was above the struggles for both of them.

Kyle thought that they would be used to it, so Alex wouldn't be hovering over him in the doctor's office, but no. He was still right there next to him, holding his hand and his other hand on his shoulder. This was common for all appointments, but, Alex would always step back when he needed to, just watch over him with such care and attention, it always made him tear up a little.

"How's she looking?" Alex asked, snapping Kyle from his thoughts.

"Looking good and healthy." The nurse replied, "Heartbeat sounds normal, looks like she's fully developed- oh, that was a kick, wasn't it?"

"Yep, it was." Kyle said, chuckling, feeling the lingering soreness. Then, he watched- and felt- her hand run against his womb softly. He swore Alex nearly broke down in tears.

"She looks great. Even a little bigger than a normal seven-month..." The nurse said, then her face shifted ever so slightly. He wasn't going to say anything, but Alex did.

"Everything okay?" It was soft, with concern barely hidden.

"Normally, babies would have at least started to turn on their heads." The nurse said, "She isn't moving. Which is not all that concerning, maybe she'll flip soon, it's not uncommon."

He squeezed Alex's hand.

"Is... there a higher chance of her being a breach birth?" Alex asked.

"Maybe slightly- not enough to truly worry about."

They both nodded.

The rest of the appointment went fine, but both of them were quiet. Alex kept holding his hand, even while driving back to the house. He didn't know what to really say.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked when they got closer to the house.

"I... Don't know." He replied quietly.

"Me neither..."

"Why hasn't she even started turning?"

"Aren't there ways to... try and help her turn?" Alex asked as he parked, "Do you want to try it?"

He nodded, smiling softly, "How do you stay so calm? Wish I had that."

Alex chuckled slightly, "I'm really not calm, but, one of us has to try to be."

He laughed, almost forgetting all about the reason he was worried in the first place as Alex opened his door, and he followed after him, holding his arm as they went inside, Iris laying over his legs as he laid on the couch, head laying on Alex's lap, feeling him play with his hair, which he, admittedly, had stopped taking as good care of. It was more frizz than curl now, and had even grown about an inch.

"You hungry?" Alex asked after a while.

"Oh, yeah I am." Kyle replied, slowly rolling over to look up at Alex, "I'll take anything you make, I'm starving."

Alex chuckled, slowly moving him to get up, "I'll make some pizza."

Oh yeah. He has the best husband ever... He loved his Alpha...

He knew that he would be a fantastic father. He already loved his daughter, he knew he would do anything for her... Alex had spent hours just sitting in the nursery, smiling and thinking.

On all the rough days, when he just wanted to curl up and try to get her to stop moving so much, there Alex was, giving him a massage, or holding him for hours, getting him anything he needed. Alex would kiss his stomach, talking softly, as if talking to Rosalie. Sometimes he would sing to her. And the best part was, he could feel Rosalie calming down and stilling once Alex started talking to her.

Alex was the best husband an Omega could ask for...

"You alright over there?" Alex asked, smiling softly.

"Yeah... Just thinking..." He replied, looking over and realizing Alex was gazing at him, damn near sparkles in his eyes.

Alex could never get tired of looking at him. He'd admit, he was going to miss seeing the baby bump once she was born.

But he was going to love seeing her grow up...

He helped Kyle up the stairs to their room after dinner, and Kyle went to sleep quickly. Which he was thankful for...

He cried. He left the room, went to the nursery, and cried. He was scared. He was scared that his child could be in danger if she didn't turn. He was scared that his husband could also be in danger. He just wanted them to be safe. He couldn't help Kyle much, if at all, with this. He just had to hope to God that she would flip over soon.

He finally calmed down. He quietly went back to their room, carefully crawling back into bed to hold onto Kyle, his scent making him feel much more relaxed.

"I love you, Kyle... I love you, Rosa..."

...

Kyle was finally eight and a half months along. They decided to get one more ultrasound, and found that Rosa had finally, slightly, started to turn, which made them both relax a lot. They were both officially put on leave when he hit eight months, as per Kyle's request, and everyone had started to visit them as much as possible. Graves had gifts from the Shadows, which kept pouring in. Alex's parents had been sending things in, and Ale and Rudy were dropping off anything and everything. Ale's sister had made matching baby and full-sized blankets for them, too, which they loved.

Kyle was a lot more tired now, a lot more frequently. He felt kicks a lot more often, and had Braxton Hicks a lot more. He even had a full false labor once last week.

Everyone was guessing what her exact birthday would be. It was really heartwarming to see everyone get so excited, getting her clothes and toys, and getting Kyle "Post-partum" clothes.

So now it was a waiting game, and Alex had all the time in the world. Every night, he would sit Kyle up and try to loosen his back. His muscles would get tight and uncomfortable, and Alex was more than happy to help. He would help Kyle bathe, help him get dressed, changed, anything. He helped Kyle calm down after finding out the labor was false, helped him through the false contractions. They were talking about her so much, thinking about her future, what she might be like, who'd she look more like. Even Iris was a lot more cuddly.

But he was so tired of being pregnant. He was looking forward to the following days now, counting them down to his due date.

Fourteen days. Then thirteen. Twelve. Eleven. Then ten. Nine. Eight. Seven...

Seven.

"Feel better?" Alex asked as he softly massaged Kyle's shoulder, sitting behind him. Kyle nodded, humming softly as he leaned back.

"Thanks, love..." Kyle said softly, sighing in relief as Alex moved down his back, feeling one of his hands move to the side of his belly, where Rosa kicked into his hand.

"She's active today, huh?" Alex asked, smiling.

"Won't stop kicking my sides... God, I am excited for next week."

"Might happen before that." He felt Alex kiss his neck, near his mating bite, before moving to be in front of him.

"Want me to get your legs? I know you're sore." Alex asked, and he nodded softly, leaning back and closing his eyes as he felt Alex's warm hands on his thighs.

"This little girl will have you wrapped around her finger." Kyle said, and he heard Alex chuckle.

"Oh yeah. But I'm happy with that. I will spoil her." Alex replied, kissing his belly softly, and he giggled.

"Don't spoil her too much. Still raising her right, Al..."

"I am allowed to spoil my daughter to death, thank you very much!"

Kyle chuckled softly, "Fine, fine... A little spoiling is fine." He yawned, and he felt Alex shifting, helping him lay down and kissing over his face softly, which actually put him to sleep pretty quickly.

Six days... Six days left.

Or... should have been.

Alex woke up at about two in the morning, and he rolled over to find that Kyle's side of the bed was empty.

"Kyle?" He said softly, voice raspy.

He sat up, running a hand down his face and reaching for his water bottle on his nightstand as he swung his legs to the floor, and he realized that the bathroom door was shut and the light was on... He heard, what sounded like, shaky breathing.

He was worried now. He put his water bottle back down, walked to the bathroom door, and knocked softly.

"Kyle? You okay?" He asked. No answer.

"Kyle." It was firmer this time. No answer.

"Are you okay?" He was worried. But there was a somewhat answer.

"The- The doors unlocked..."

He quickly opened it, seeing Kyle curled up, leaning on the ledge of the bathtub, tears running down his face as he sobbed, cradling his belly.

"Kyle..." He walked up to him, kneeling down and slowly pulling Kyle into his arms, "What's going on?"

"I-I'm..." He took in a sharp breath, "I'm in so much pain..."

"Shh..." He rocked Kyle softly, letting him nuzzle into his neck, biting down on his scent gland, which seemed to relax him a little.

"You're okay... you're okay." He pulled back slightly, still holding Kyle's hands, smiling softly. The smile dropped when Kyle's face changed, whining in pain and gripping Alex's hands tighter.

"Breathe..." He whispered, trying to keep a straight face through his worry... and the pain he was in from the vice-like grip on his hands.

After about thirty seconds, Kyle breathed in again, and Alex cradled his face softly, realizing he was drenched in sweat.

"Just keep breathing... How long?"

"U-Uh... almost an hour...?" Kyle replied, "I don't know if it's real, I-I just-" He cut himself off, gripping Alex's arms tighter as he gritted his teeth.

"It's okay... You're okay."

He watched Kyle's eyes suddenly open as he breathed heavily.

"Hey, hey..." He gently rubbed Kyle's cheek, about to reach up and get a wet washcloth, but Kyle held him down.

"Alex." He looked panicked.

"My water just broke."

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod mwii #kyle gaz garrick #alex keller #john price #phillip graves #alejandro vargas #rodolfo parra #gazalex #alexgaz

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breyito · 10 months

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Batfamily Introduction- Matt Reeves universe

So...this is how I'd go about assembling the Batfamily in Reeves verse. I have (at least the movies about Jason) completely developed in my brain, but well, writing the scripts is a whole other issue. I could, but 2k fics are too much for me at the moment, so I thought I'd share this with the world, free some space in my brain, so to speak. Praying that someone out there, that has the actual pull to make this happen, reads this and maybe uses it a little. Mainly about Jason, because my poor boy deserves better, and an live action portrayal that is accurate and true to character, instead of the constant angst trainreck that is his life in the comics, for some reason.

The more detailed an idea is, the more doubts I have about it, idk. Dick's is less developed since pretty much everyone is familiar with him, so I kinda skipped him, sorry. And Damian...well, I don't know enough about him to write him much more than he is, and tbh, I'd like to do something with him and Jon more than anything else.

Here it goes!!! (Also, I'm just a fan, so please don't hate on this, yeah? If you don't like it, move on.)

Batman: Gravity / Gravitas/ Gravitational Pull

(Dick's origin story as Robin movie, Zucco, Selina helps, Ace shows up, Zucco almost dies but D!R decides not to, little scenes with Batgirl (?),etc)

•Robin the first*: Dick's solo movie when he's older, establishing the Titans (Babs, Roy, Donna, Joey(?)), Deathstroke as antagonist(?). He ends the movie as Nightwing (?).

Batman: Mind Games

(Jason as Robin origin story, Jason steals the Batmobile tires, B sends him to a home. Mad Hatter/ Dollmaker is buying kids from Ma Gunn's and Jay helps B & Gordon realize this and to put a stop to it, B ends up kidnapped and Nightwing isn't answering Agent A and Batgirl is holed up in the precinct with Gordon; so Jay dresses up as Robin and goes to try and stop the freak. He trips the rogue with his marbles and knocks him out, waiting until Batgirl/Nightwing come to free the hostages from the tech, keeping the conscious kids calm. Dick is surprised about Jay but not a dick about it. Bruce offers to adopt Jay, and says it's not necessary to be Robin too, but Dick Is all "unless you want to, little wing! I'm gonna teach you all the *best* moves B is too old to do!" Sue me, I want one happy Batfamily, ok? Ok).

•Robin the second*: Jason's solo movie, Kid Devil Pen pal, Kyle(?), Rose(?), Gar(?) or the Titans say he's too little?; Catwoman/Ivy/Nocturna as mentors/aunts? Heist movie. Professor Pig/Toymaker as antagonist? He ends up saving the Titans/Batman despite the doubts about him.

Batman: "A death in the family"/[?]

(Garzonas/child trafficking ring; they butt heads about 'procedure' and 'too much violence'; Barbara is paralyzed; Jay looks for Haywood, she sells him out to Joker, Jason dies. A few months later, B gets called to deal with Flashpoint and finds out Flash is the reason Jay died ("Allen, you killed my son? You killed my SON!" "I'm sorry- Bruce, I'm-" "Effective immediately, Allen's tenure in the Justice League is terminated. Central City will be relegated to Wallace, if he's ready to take on the name." "Bruce!" "If he can not use his powers responsibly, he can not be trusted with them. Unless you want me to give you an antidote." "...you don't have one." "Are you willing to try me?" post-credit scene. Jay's hand breaking the ground of his grave post-post credit scene)

Batman: [?]/Bane of the City

(Tim as Robin Origin story. Broken back, Dick as Batman for a little while, they defeat Bane, Bruce heals a little bit, Barbara remakes herself as Oracle and saves their asses at a crucial moment, etc. Jason is alive and with the LoA, baby!Damián? post-credit scene.)

•Robin the third*: Tim's solo movie, he finds Connor and goes against Lex? + Cassie and Bart, of course. Steph is introduced at the end (iconic brick-in-the-face moment).

Batman: Under the Red Hood/[?]

(RH takes over the Alley in a couple of weeks; steals the kryptonite and ruins deals for Black Mask; kills the leutenants of the mobs and gains control over them, etc. ("B, this guys is not out of control." "Dick?" "I'd say this guy is completely in control. Look at these! He hasn't killed a single innocent. Every one of these men and woman have charges for murder, rape, abuse, child pornography or molestation, human trafficking... and all of them got away with it or got the minimal sentence or had the charges dropped or the witnesses killed. They weren't casualities, they were targeted." "It doesn't matter, he's still killing people." "Yeah, bad people! The worst society has to offer." "Dick..." "Bruce, we have bigger problems than a man that keeps the civilians out of things, the children protected and only takes his rage on the worst of humanity.") Jason still attacks Tim at TT, but only to keep him out of the final confrontation -broken wrist, ankle and bruised ribs- ("No more dead Robins" is written in Jason's blood on the wall). Jason as RH reveal; B accepts Jay killing Joker -he turns around and gives him permission- but the damn clown blows up the building before he can and scapes even after RH shoots him a few times. Jason collapses in Bruce's arms, sobbing, terrified. B asks Jay to comes home and he does, to a heartfelt reunion. Jason apologizes to Tim, giving him the R he cut off the Robin suit in the case instead of the one he took in the Tower. Damian's existence bomb drop post-credit scene. One big happy Batfamily, see?).

•Robin the fourth*: Steph's solo movie. She starts the movie as Spoiler, ends the movie as Robin but dead. Steph tries to stop her dad, meets R!Tim, they fall in love somewhere in the middle. R!Tim wants her as part of the Titans, she refuses cuz her mom doesn't know about Spoiler and she wants to stay in Gotham due to Cluemaster. Jack Drake forces Tim to give up Robin (Steph finds out his identity due to him screaming threats to Bruce) and Bruce offers R to her a few days later, she agrees. Tim doesn't like ir, but Steph is Tim's only contact with the Batfam, so he's ok-ish with it. Cluemaster realizes his daughter is Spoiler/the new Robin and sells the info to Sionis, hoping he'll get him out of prison (he thinks Black Mask will use it to find out who Batman is, not torture her to death, but still). B&Steph butt heads, some "you're too much like Jason" comments/classism thrown her way (Jason is in the LoA trying to convince Talia to give up Damian to B, btw) She starts a war between two gangs to stop them destroying her block/neighborhood's business and homes. BM kidnaps her then, and tries to torture the info of Batman and Red Hood (his bitter enemy) out of her. She holds out until N&B&RH rescue her, but too late. She "dies" then ("was I a good Robin?" "you were a great Robin"). (Post-credit scene is her waking up gasping in a hospital bed, her window shows a Savanna.)

Batman: Blood Son/ Blood Feud

(Damian gets to Gotham to witness the end tail of the gang war after Steph's death. Tim is back in the Manor, back as Robin (he put on the suit to stop the war and BM; since Jack is in a coma he doesn't care anymore), working with B & N & RH to clean things up. R almost kills BM by beating him, so RH puts a blade to the guy's throat and says he will kill him if Tim says the word. Tim, in the end, says no. RH then cuts through BM's spinal cord, leaving him paralyzed. ("As a compromise" he grins savagely at Batman, winking.) Damian tries to off Tim the moment they meet, but Tim is very on edge and puts him down quickly and brutally ("You want to be Robin, remplace Steph, with *those* skills? Ha! Give me a break/Pathetic.") Dick tries to explain how fragile Tim is at the moment, while Jason & Alfred try to make them bond by cooking together, and B makes them solve cold cases together (it turns into a competition, of course, but since it ends with Tim spending less Time on the field, B doesn't stop it). Jack dies after an attack at the hospital by Cap Boomerang; after the funeral he goes out as RR, to get revenge. Zsasz gets him first, since RR is out of it. Damian -who was following him, not worried- ends up saving Tim after Zsasz kidnaps him on BM's orders, as payback. He stalls Zsasz until the others get there and cuts off one of his arms while trying not to kill him. (I wanna add Killer Croc here somehow, he's hired but Damián either convinces him to leave or beats him by drugging him or something). While Tim is recovering in the hospital/cave he passes the R to him. (''You'll do a good job." "Tt, of course I will." "Just...maybe get a less sharp weapon?" "Because blunt force trauma is more elegant?" "Nop. It's usually less deadly, tho."))

The (*) means I have no idea for a tittle. I know I want it to be secuencial, like a series, because that's what they are lol.

#batfamily #batman #batman movie #ideas for scripts #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #stephanie brown #damian wayne #these are my headcanons and what i really really wish would happen #please dc be nice to jay for ONCE #i accept suggestions for tittles #but no hate please #also english is not my 1st language and i wrote this on mobile #so any errors please ignore

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majesticwren · 6 months

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due to high demand - me. I'm high demand. this entire project is being written entirely for my pleasure, be warned I'm being extremely self-indulgent - I've decided to write a little prequel to the events that take place here. this is set in 2018 and is the beginning of Fletch x OFC. billy will have his own little prequel at some point. enjoy. a/n: please don't come for me I am heavily lingering into the angst and the toxicity and the drama only for the pleasure of it and this is my testimony be warned because we'll dive head first in it folks.

Trigger Warning/s: OFC is her own trigger warning she is damaged goods and slightly toxic and emotionally unavailable, kyle is a little baby, mark is being overprotective and extremely toxic sorry not sorry, alcohol consumption, mention of addiction, mention of heroin abuse, mention of sex, mention of trauma, mention of intentional overdose, swearing, smut!, unprotected sex (this is a fic, don't do this at home kids, know your sexed!), loss of virginity (Kyle's a baby, as already said), OFC is slightly dom, angst, mainly friends to lovers/impossible relationship dynamics.

nuclear season: part I -> | part II -> | part III -> prequel: <- part I | part III -> | part IV -> Masterlist

“I tell you,” Kyle chuckled, “you should have been there. I fell off the stool from laughter. I have never seen anything like it before in my life,”

They laid close to each other in a nest of covers and pillows on her bed in her messy hotel room. Music played in the background. Erika looked at his features, getting inebriated by the naïve, sweet look he had on his pretty face. His blushed cheeks and the lack of focus he had due to being tipsy were getting her drunk more than the alcohol.

“Well, then,” Erika raised the half-full bottle of tequila in a cheer, “I suppose that requires a hooray!” giggling to herself, she let her head fall heavy on the nest of pillows. She wasn’t even sure what they were talking about anymore.

She had tried so hard to stay as far away from heavily drinking for so long, that she almost got back to being able to feel tipsy and enjoy it. She hadn’t been completely clean, but she hadn’t gotten drunk in months. Until tonight.

Sobriety would have meant for her to have a clearer mind to take sensed, thought-through decisions, considering a whole lot of consequences and people involved. But that also meant she was supposed to face her emotions, which Erika had no intention of doing. Not after she had to face Mark’s words.

If her brother didn’t believe in her, what chance did she have?

She tried to escape her past, but it was just as her brother had said. A tiger wouldn’t lose her strips. She would have never become anything better than who she was. Forever branded like the unreliable troublemaker unworthy of the benefit of the doubt or any hope.

She had been so stupid for believing anything could change. That she had a chance to become something better.

And then there was Kyle. She didn’t even want to think about how heartbroken she was. It hurt so much to want someone so desperately and knowing so well she’d never have him. It hurt too much for her to bear. If she had been given the chance to be someone different from her past, maybe she would have thought she could make it. Maybe she would treat him well, give him the affection he deserved and trust him to give her the respect she needed. But she wasn’t different. She was the same girl she left in Australia, only lived in the United Kingdom and pretended to be someone else for kicks.

And now, she just knew she was going to break Kyle’s heart. It was a conscious decision she had made.

Instead of considering her options, Erika decided to take the familiar route of drowning herself in a bottle of tequila and making bad decisions. It was easy enough to forget about her dreams and expectations. And the more she fell into her drunkenness mess of incoherent stormy emotions, the more she became erratic and unpredictable, spiralling into a dark void. She was stuck in an ouroboros where she became the thing she feared the most to escape it.

And now, she was ready to stand by the rubble of everything she was going to ruin.

Before Kyle could grab the bottle from her grasp, Erika retrieved it to her chest, sending him a teasing look, challenging him to come and get it as she drank more of the bitter liquor herself. She hid her grin behind the bottle, chugging down a big gulp. No salt. No lime. No shame.

The liquid felt hot as it slid down her throat and into her stomach. Its warmth spread quickly through her and into her mind, making it difficult to focus on much more but Kyle’s lips.

“You are so pretty,” she whispered, deciding to push herself to break the distance between them and tracing his jawline with her fingertips. “Beautiful, actually.”

Kyle’s face became red all over. “Not like you,” he dared and then stole the bottle off her grasp and hid his timidity behind it.

She felt every inch of her skin itch to be touched. The small distance dividing them was so painful to endure. She felt the need to feel him. To have him. Hanging between their words and in their crossed gazes there was everything she tried to deny herself from feeling and all the space he allowed her to have, respecting her wishes. The difference was she was done being mature. She had taken her decision. Trying and act like the bigger person, getting away from everything toxic in her behaviour, didn’t bring her anywhere. So why keep fighting?

That was her last chance to make a sensible decision before ruining everything.

Fuck Mark.

She thought impulsively, getting distracted from Kyle.

Fuck him and all his empty promises and his pretended love. He didn’t deserve her to try. He didn’t believe she could, anyway. So, he wasn’t going to have the best version of her. He ripped her hope away and threw her in the dark. So, she was going to hurt the only person he cared about. And she had every intention of liking it. Kyle would have been delicious; she just knew it.

“I am so glad you are here,” she didn’t need to lie about that. She was aware of what she was walking into and what she would have done. But she truly liked him.

This time, she traced her fingers to his chin, close to his lips.

Kyle popped a timid smile, as he looked at her face. Words didn’t come out of his mouth. He was fiddling with his hands. So nervous and pretty, made her smile widen. Delicious.

Erika was naturally prompted to move to him, placing a hand on his chest. “What is it, baby?” She wondered in a low purr, pushing herself closer to him. “You are so nervous.”

“I didn’t think you’d call; you know?”

“No?” Erika decided it was time to get rid of the bottle of tequila, which she leaned over to leave on the bedside cabinet, before quickly going back to snuggling by Kyle’s side. “You haven’t noticed how I look at you?”

“I have. I do. I hope that you’ll notice me all the time,” he admitted, “but you made it clear you need distance, and that’s what I gave you.”

“And I appreciate that,” Erika wasn’t lying. Nothing of what she felt for him was constructed. She was truly enjoying spending time with him and wanted so much more from him that it felt difficult to breathe; even though she did ask him to join her only because of her quarrel with Mark, to prove a point, and was determined to break both their hearts.

If she was supposed to end up suffering, she was gonna do it in the sweetest and most prohibited way possible.

“I don’t want to have distance anymore,” Erika suggested, her eyes crossed Kyle’s face, soaking up his sweetness. She decided to encourage him to follow her queue by grabbing his hand and gently guiding him to place it on her stomach. He watched her do it holding his breath in his chest.

His touch was extremely attentive. Kyle laid his large hand flat on her abdomen, not daring to move. His skinny fingers were spread across her, feeling the soft material of the extra-large t-shirt she was wearing above a simple pair of booty shorts. Then, his hand moved ever so slightly, feeling her body underneath his touch.

A shiver crossed her. They were barely touching and she was already on fire. A soft sigh left her as the pleasure of his touch, even just so small, was already enough to make her stretch under him. She desperately wanted him to touch her all over and to feel him everywhere. She was ready to beg and had to bite her tongue not to. Not yet. That simple caress wasn’t enough – not even remotely.

Erika kept her hand on his, pushing him down into her belly, making him feel her. She needed him to explore her. She wanted him to desire to feel her just as badly as she did. Her other hand was still on his face as she was carried away by his timid look as he followed everything she did. There was uncertainty behind his eyes, but it was the edge of expectations he hung on that attracted her the most.

“Tell me what you are thinking,” she pulled his chin, making him look back at her. “I need to know what’s going on behind those beautiful eyes.”

Kyle tried to hide behind a chuckle, but his blushed cheeks gave him away. “What do you think I am thinking?” He wondered, trying to outsmart her.

Except Erika wasn’t playing. “I hope you are wondering what I look like when I am naked.” She dared, not stopping at how he choked on his breath. “And I am hoping you are going to put those pretty hands and lips into use soon.”

“God, Erika,” he whispered, trying to escape her gaze.

He hissed when she didn’t let him get away. “Tell me. Please, baby, I need to know. I need you.”

The way he shivered made her body react. Warmth flooded right through her, charging up her nerves and making her belly ache and her abdomen feel heavy. God, nothing about her desire needed to be forced in any way, Erika truly liked him and had been wanting him for a long time now. Only she had stopped hiding it away. Now it was her time to be selfish.

“Me too,” he admitted, leaning closer to her, enough to press his forehead on hers. “I want you so bad it hurts.”

She smiled victoriously and decided she was done waiting around. She pushed herself closer to him, brushing her lips on his.

Kyle took another few moments to warm up. He was awkward and uncertain, but surely ready to follow her queues, because, as soon as he battled with his shyness, he dived into her lips, kissing her with a hunger and desperation Erika was more than ready to match.

It had been so long since they kissed and she had missed his lips ever since.

There was a force pulling her towards him. How did she believe it possible to fight against her deepest desires?

She was such a fool.

Erika’s hand cruised across his neck and around his shoulders, pulling him down on her. She avidly studied the slim edges of his body, admiring the feeling of every muscle and bone she found, desiring to feel more. She needed his naked skin. His warmth. His everything.

Kyle weighing on her as they made out was so sweet and ravaging. She was already pretty unhinged and self-destructive, but now, nothing was stopping her.

Erika bent her leg and slid it around his thin waist, branching around him like ivy. She then guided his hand from her belly to her thigh, needing to feel his fingers on her naked skin. This time, Kyle was more courageous and took the initiative, squeezing her soft flesh into his hold. The soft moan he released, pushing himself against her, further into her arms, sent her ballistic.

Erika pushed him down on the mattress and hopped over his hips, straddling him. This time, lowering herself back down, she pushed her face into the crook of his neck, avidly kissing his skin and adoring feeling him tensing up underneath her, his choked breath was music to her ears.

Kyle took a few long seconds before feeling confident enough to wrap his hands around her hips. But then, he rewarded her by letting his hands explore her body, feeling dauntless enough to cruise up her spine and down one leg.

Erika pulled herself up sitting back into his hips and enjoying every inch of his body she felt underneath her. He was aroused. She felt his trapped erection poke her through their clothes. And, God, that was enough to make her head spin. Not thinking too clearly, she pushed her hands in between them, reaching for his belt, feeling the need to touch him.

However, before she could even realise her desires, Kyle froze and was quick to stop her. His hold on her was gentle but firm as he grabbed her hands and pushed them off him.

Erika sat back up on him, frowning. “What is it, baby?”

“Nothing,” he huffed, avoiding eye contact, “I just- would like to take it easy, for a moment.”

Looking down at him, she suddenly felt slightly uncomfortable with the idea that he may have not wanted the same thing she did, despite his clear arousal and desire for her. Though there was something in him, in his quickened breath and pink cheeks, and in the way his eyes were drawn away from her, that intrigued her even more.

She slipped a hand of his grasp only to grab his chin and pull him to look at her. “What is it, Fletch?”

“Nothing-” he choked. His entire face was becoming red.

Erika leapt into his eyes. “No. That’s not nothing.” She leaned in, brushing her lips over his softly, “Tell me.”

Kyle hesitated, looking at her for a long moment and then, with a defeated sigh, he shook his head. “I think I need a minute before we start doing stuff.”

“Ok,” she nodded, understanding and encouraging, not forcing herself on him. “Why? Are you ok?”

“More than ok,” he nodded, “please, don’t think I don’t want this. You.” He released her hand only to place his around her hips, giving her an encouraging squeeze. “Because I do. More than the world.”

“Then what is it?” She wondered softly, kissing gently his forehead and then cheeks, loving the way he moulded into her like a cat bumping his little face into her.

“I-” he choked on a secret.

“You can tell me,” She encouraged him softly, sliding her hand across the back of his neck and up his shaved hair, gently cradling him. “You can tell me anything.”

“I may not have as much experience as you think I do,” he revealed speaking quickly.

“That’s ok,” Erika pulled a gentle smile, willing to make him feel at ease. She had suspected it by the way he was attentive and soft and, if anything, it only made her more feral.

Though Kyle still shook his head. “No, you don’t understand.” He took a deep breath like he was trying to gather all his courage. “I’ve never done this before.”

Erika was stricken.

She froze on the spot, looking down at him.

However, her shock was soon gone. She was quick to cup his face into her hands, holding him ever so gently. “Are you a virgin?”

Kyle quietly nodded, face still red all over and puppy eyes so sweet her heart couldn’t take it.

Her chest was quick to warm back up and fill with a feeling so strong it made it hard to breathe. It was respect. It was affection. It was straight-up devotion, the second she realised the meaning of his words. And then it ripped her apart, as she realised he wasn’t only a sweet-looking boy she fancied. He wasn’t only a prohibited fruit she wanted to defile to prove a point. He was so much more than that. He was everything she wanted. What she felt rolling out of her chest, made her have to bite her tongue not to tell him how deep she was falling for him.

She attentively caressed his cheeks.

That wasn’t going the way she had planned. She had planned to do what she was used to, which was charming a boy into bed with her and watching her world burn. But now all of that was gone in the back of her mind. Now there was only their moment.

“Would you give it to me?” She wondered pulling his chin up, brushing her lips against his.

Kyle nodded without a second of hesitation. “Yes. Yes, please. I have thought about this so much. I just need you to go slow on me.”

“Oh? You thought about this?” Kyle whined and nodded in her hold, only attracting her attention more. Erika kissed the sides of his mouth, “When?” she wondered in a whisper, “touching yourself?” He whimpered, and then nodded again, only prompting her to pull his chin softly. “Use your words, pretty boy.”

“Yes. I did.”

Erika rewarded him with a soft kiss. “Thinking about me?”

“Mh- yes, it’s always you.”

“Fuck, Kyle,” she hissed as a shiver crossed her back, making her skin ripple in goosebumps.

There, right at that moment, as they both stood over an edge there was no coming back, Erika decided there was no past or future. They were only a boy and a girl who liked each other. There were no consequences, no regrets. Only what they felt and what they wanted.

And she desperately wanted him to be hers. Only hers.

Erika pulled him up in a kiss, starting with her plan by taking his lips. He melted underneath her, now wrapping his arms fully around her, caging in a hug and holding onto her like she was a lifeline.

This time, he was the one taking the initiative. He traced her chin with his lips and down her neck, pushing her to bend in between his arms, assaulting one of her most sensitive spots, tasting her skin.

“Yes,” she cooed with a proud smile on her lips, enjoying feeling his mouth on her. “I like that. Keep going.”

Kyle followed her words gladly, taking a liking to nibble on the sensitive skin under her ear only to feel her shiver and sigh in his arms. She whimpered when his hot tongue passed over the spots his teeth marked.

“Did you ever have a girlfriend, before?” she wondered breathlessly, sliding a hand through the longer hair on top of his head, feeling the need to grab on something.

“I am not that naïve,” he pointed out, looking up at her with a small grin, “I did stuff before, only not everything.”

God, he was breathtaking with his puffed-up lips, blushed cheeks and glimmery eyes.

“Oh, yeah?” Erika brushed her lips on his forehead, “what stuff?” She found it so arousing for no reason in particular, if not that he just became a thousand times more delicious to her. She wanted to eat him up.

Kyle went red again. “Everything else but sex.”

“Everything?” She kept wondering, tracing circles with her fingers across the back of his neck. “Like what? You had a little girlie who showed you how she liked to be touched? Or more than one girl, maybe?”

“Are you taking the piss out of me?”

“No.” She simply said looking down at him. “It turns me on. Tell me, I want to know.”

“Just one girl,” he sighed, giving her exactly what she wanted, “We were high school sweethearts, we were together for a little over one year, though it didn’t work out as soon as I started travelling with wrestling. It’s been some time now.”

“Was she pretty?” Erika causally played with his hair.

She wasn’t jealous. She had never been jealous once in her life, her ego was big enough to give her the confidence to know there was no competition with her. When she wanted something, she simply would have it. There was no other way about it. But she was proud, arrogant even, and she needed to know; she needed to hear it from his lips.

“Yes,” he nodded, “she was a pretty girl. Too pretty for me. But nothing compared to you,” Kyle didn’t disappoint her. “But you know that, don’t you?”

She pushed her index under his chin, making him lift his face. “I like to hear how pretty you think I am.”

“Breathtaking,” he revealed. The way his honest eyes glimmered, as he traced the soft lines of her features, gave her a shiver. “You look like you came out of a dream. But it isn’t only your smoky hot body or the way I’d fall on my knees every time you smile. It’s your eyes. When you look at me, I feel seen. I feel important.”

“You are seen,” Erika slid her hands around his face, making sure to be as close to him as possible, “You are important to me, Kyle.”

She shouldn’t have said it. She was well aware. But there were worse things she wanted to say just as badly. She wasn’t only falling for him; she was already there and had those three words on the tip of her tongue. She couldn’t keep it in anymore, her heart was leaping out of her chest and pouring straight into his. Erika had no control over the emotion that just overwhelmed her. But she forced herself to silence.

He may never know it. She had never been no one’s before, but she was his now. No matter about tomorrow or the consequences of all those damned choices they were making in that bed. A piece of her just left her and he had it to keep forever.

“I want to take off your clothes,” she instructed softly, her hands sliding down on his chest, hinting at her words. “Would that be ok?”

Kyle nodded quickly, only prompting her to reach for the helm of his t-shirt and pull it up and over his head. She then gave him a gentle push, hinting for him to lay back down under her. Kyle followed her queue obediently and let her feast on the view.

She saw him shirtless all the time while they worked. Sometimes around the house too. It wasn’t news. But it was entirely different now when she had his consent to study, tease and taste every centimetre of his exposed skin.

Her fingers followed attentively her gaze across his torso. His skin was soft and warm under her touch, feeling thinly stretched over his slim body. She followed the edges of his thin pecs and down the sternum to his abdomen. As she teased him, tracing her fingers lower to his belly button, Erika enjoyed seeing how his breath trembled in his belly. It gave her a hot shiver that crossed her spine and nested right into her abdomen, giving her the primal need to lower herself and leave a deep bite mark on his belly. Before she could get distracted over, her fingers cruised back up across his sides and ribs, feeling every bone under her fingertips, counting them.

Erika leaned down on him and, before he could move his arms to reach for her, she gently interceded him and made him bend them over his head. A confident smirk on her lips as she looked at him as she crossed his wrists and pinned him down, looking at him like he was his most precious possession.

“Do not move. Can you do that for me, Kyle?”

“Yes,” his voice was bent in a whimper that made her thoughts fog up.

“Good boy,” Erika rewarded him with a kiss on the lips and then moved on his neck. Her hand clawed around his jaw, pushing his head up, making him expose as much of his throat as possible just so she’d have free access to it.

She kissed and nibbled over his soft skin, having to assert the utmost control over herself so as not to leave visible marks. Even though marking him was the only thing she could think about. It was possessive, maybe wrong even, and yet, she wanted his skin to present the traces of her nails, teeth and hickeys.

Kyle moaned and stretched underneath her, bucking his hips up at her, trying to find some kind of release, as she sucked his soft skin into her mouth. It was enough to send them both insane. Erika passed her tongue from the base of his neck up to his chin. Feeling his Adam’s apple move under her muscle made her growl like a feral animal.

She then moved down across his body. Her lips moved to his shoulders as she nibbled on his collarbones and down his chest, where she enjoyed toying with his nipples, licking and sucking, only bringing him to arch underneath her and huff, blinded by pleasure.

“You need to stay still for me, baby,” she hinted as she moved down on him, crossing his abdomen with the tip of her nose.

Kyle still arched underneath her, extremely reactive to her touch.

God. And she hadn’t even got to his cock yet. She wondered what kind of little whimpers he would have offered as soon as she did.

Her hands moved across his hips and followed the edge of his jeans, moving slowly to the buckle of his belt. She looked up at him, making sure to study his reaction so she could stop if he froze again.

He didn’t. He hissed instead, arching and throwing his head backwards, letting her have a perfect view of his stretched-up body caged by the invisible chains of her will.

“Give me permission to take your pants off, baby,” she begged.

Kyle looked down at her, looking pretty and desperate, lust glimmering through his beautiful light eyes. “Yes,”

Erika started to undo his belt; her savvy fingers had no trouble with the buckle. “And then,” she started, looking back up at him, “I want to take you into my mouth. Would you like that, baby?”

Kyle let his head fall back, his chest trembled in a small whimper.

“Use your words, pretty boy,”

“Please, Erika,” he whispered, still keeping his hands above his head like he was tied down. “Yes. Do whatever you like to me.”

Erika acted frantically like her life depended on that moment. She opened his jeans and pulled them down on his hips, not letting herself look at him. Not just yet. She wanted to savour it. She pulled them down his legs, helped by him lifting his waist. They giggled innocently to each other.

Finally, once he was naked under her, Erika slid her hands across his thighs, feasting on his body.

A proud grin crossed her plump lips as she shamelessly looked at his erection. “What a nice surprise,” she teased, biting down on her lip, “such a big pretty boy with a big pretty cock,” she spaced her words willingly, adoring seeing him hang from her lips.

Kyle was flustered, red all over his face and neck, and breathless, but didn’t hide from her. There was a certain level of expectation and ego hiding behind his curiosity. He wished to be praised. “All yours.”

His words crossed her like a spike, hitting her straight into her lower abdomen, and making her tremble. She felt her inside squeeze under the desperate pressure of feeling him inside of her. She had never experienced desire quite like that before.

“Mine.” She agreed.

His virgin skin was milky pale, making her feel the savage need to bite down on him, nibbling along his leg and up to his hipbone. A desire she gave into and responded to Kyle’s little whimpers with moans of her own.

She looked up at him, making sure he was just as lost in the moment as she was, as her lips traced across his lower abdomen. Erika was attentive as she rolled her hand around his cock, allowing Kyle to settle down into her touch. He flinched, but almost immediately relaxed under her, releasing a pleasureful sigh. Erika gently squeezed him in her palm, rolling her hand across his length.

A sharp smile crossed her lips. “Did I get your dick wet?” It was a rhetorical question. He was, in fact, wet, so to speak. But she still wanted to see him nod for her. “You are so fucking desperate; I haven’t even done anything yet.” Her hand followed her words across his cock as she dared to kiss its base, feeling the need to have a little taste of him.

Kyle moaned shamelessly. “I-” he tried to formulate words that only escaped him, mixing with whimpers.

She had never heard a prettier sound.

“What, baby?”

“Please, Erika, I can’t take it anymore,”

She was the one who whimpered now. Having him begging under her made her go feral.

Erika looked up at him, nodding. “I want you to do something for me,”

“Anything,”

“You are free to move your hands now. I want you to grab my hair as I suck on you. And I want you to pull it. And I want you to push me down on you anytime you want to go deeper into my throat.”

“Fuck-” he choked.

“Can you do this for me, baby?”

“What if I choke you?”

“God, baby,” she flicked her tongue along his length, stealing another moan and all of his focus out of him. “That’s the entire point. I want to choke on your cock.”

Kyle sounded like he could cry and she was done wasting time.

She knew well he wouldn’t have lasted long. And she was intentioned to milk every drop of the pleasure of his first time out of him. But she also wished to take it as slow as possible, just like he asked.

Erika traced his length, base to tip, with her tongue and then, she gently took him into her mouth, again allowing him to get used to the feeling of her hot mouth around him. Kyle moaned loudly, not losing a second to slip both his hands into her hair, grabbing on it more to brace himself than to control her movement. As he looked down at her, his mouth was open, pretty lips puffed and wet, his face bent in pleasure.

When she started sucking on him, Kyle was completely gone. He let his head fall backwards on the pillows and arched underneath her, whimpering and softly moaning to her every movement. Erika slid her hands up his chest, digging her nails into his skin, as she took him a little deeper into her mouth with every thrust.

Kyle followed his instinct, Erika’s lips closed around the base of his dick and he, holding her head firmly in between his hands, pushed himself as deep as possible into her throat. A shiver crossed as she felt him so deep inside of her. She released a suffocated moan that slipped right through him, shaking Kyle too.

“Fuck, baby I’m-” he gasped for air, “so close.”

Erika pulled back, releasing him and catching her breath. Looking up at him, she whipped out another sharp grin. “Do you want me to stop?” she wondered only pretending to be innocent. She had no intention of stopping.

“Not a chance,” Kyle then surprised her. He grinned too and, pulling on her hair, he hinted to her to climb back over him. “You are still wearing clothes,” he whispered as soon as she was close enough for him to kiss her.

Kyle took over. He moved her hair out of the way and kept a hand dug deep into it. She started to suspect he liked it to hold her like that. And Erika had no complaints about it. Erika threw her arms around his shoulders, enjoying his initiative. With his free hand, Kyle guided her to go back straddling him and then wrapped his arm around her hips, pushing her to sit as close to him as humanly possible.

His erection pressed on her hot core, making her head spin. It was the first moment she realised what kind of mess she was already. Her pleasure had been forgotten for a second, but now, she realised she had soaked her pants. Erika released a soft moan into his mouth as she rubbed herself against him, only giving him a hint of what to expect. She wanted to drive them both insane.

Kyle’s fingers squeezed the material of her large t-shirt, he then tugged at it and pulled it up on her figure. Erika helped him remove it and then welcomed how he moved on her with a giggle. Her body moulded on him as Kyle kissed her neck, down to her collarbones and shoulders, and lower again. His warm hands were quicker to cup her breasts, squeezing them; he followed quickly, not losing a second to suckle on her tits.

Erika’s head fell heavy as his tongue played with her hard nipples. Her stomach was invaded by a heavy wave of pleasure that slipped through her, making her skin feel tight as she stretched against him, looking to find release. A louder moan escaped her lips, only prompting him to grunt on her.

“Look at you,” she whispered brushing her smile on his forehead. “Little virgin pretty boy knows what he’s doing, uh?”

Kyle shamelessly bit her nipple, in return to her words, and then offered a cocky smirk. “I know some stuff.”

“Clearly,” she smiled, pushing a finger under his chin making him lift his face. “Can I fuck you, now?”

He trembled under her touch; his fingers squeezed her hips as he softly nodded. “Yes. I’d like that.”

“Yes, you would, baby.”

Erika downed on his lips, trapping them into a kiss. She caged his head between her arms and squeezed him against her as if she could push him into her chest and never let him go.

Kyle’s fingers hooked on the band of her booty shorts and pulled on them, teasing her. To which Erika reacted moving her hips, rubbing herself on him.

She broke their kiss, trying to catch her breath and think clearly, even though common sense still escaped her. It was too hot, he was too sweet and inebriating, and the tequila didn’t help.

“Ok,” she huffed, “do you know how it’s going to work?”

“I have access to the internet, babe. I’ve seen porn before.”

Erika smirked, shaking her head as they both blushed. “Ok, little smartass, don’t get an attitude with me,” she poked his chest, “or I’ll make you regret it and beg until you apologise to me.”

Kyle smiled, so smitten as he looked at her. “You like having control, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.” That being said, she pulled his hair, making him bend his head for her. “I’ll give you a pass because I am about to take your virginity,” only thinking about that made her stomach tremble, “but remember it next time. A brat gets punished.”

Kyle still smiled, testing her. “Careful, I might decide to punish you, one day.”

A shiver crossed her. They had no future, she was aware, and yet she hoped for it. She wished that one day, he’d make her whine and moan desperately under his control. “Let’s see if you can take it from me, pretty boy.” She decided she rather keep pretending that was only the beginning for them.

Erika pushed him down on the mattress and then got rid of her shorts, throwing them somewhere in the room. She was quick climbing back on him and, as soon as she did, she grabbed Kyle’s cock, massaging it into her palm and silencing whatever he was going to say. “You are so hard for me, baby.”

Kyle hissed, nodding as his hands cruised on her thighs. He bit hard on his lower lip, looking so pretty underneath her, it was insane. Erika pushed him against her bare core, rubbing herself against him and immediately was shaken by a wave of pleasure, feeling how hot and heavy his flesh was. “Do you feel how wet you got me?”

He whimpered softly, looking down at their bodies meeting. “Fuck, Erika,”

Every time he called for her name, she felt transported to another dimension.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Yes. God, yes.”

“Come here, baby. Sit up for me,” she suggested and was ready to catch him as soon as he did as she asked. She rolled an arm around his shoulders, keeping him as close as possible. She needed it. She had no intention of having an inch of space in between them as she took him deep inside of her. “I want you so bad.” Erika brushed her lips on his chin, accompanying her words rubbing herself against him once more.

Kyle trembled under her and then hissed, nodding. “Me too. Please, just fuck me.”

She didn’t let him ask her again. She was done waiting and teasing. It was time and there was no going back. She was already his. And he was hers. Only for that night.

Erika lifted her hips and positioned herself on him. She looked straight into his eyes, getting lost in them as she slowly lowered herself on his erection, taking him inch by inch as slowly as she could. Pleasure shot through her immediately, connecting her to him on a deeper level. She mirrored his expression as Kyle opened his mouth, welcoming feeling her squeezing on him and taking his virginity with a silent moan. She wasn’t quiet. He was shaken by a shiver as pain and pleasure mixed through him.

Erika sat still on him, giving him the time to process how it felt. He stretched her nicely, making her feel breathless. A proud smile quickly followed as she nodded, encouraging him. “Good boy,” she whispered, kissing the sides of his mouth, hugging him. “Pretty, sweet boy. All mine.” Erika kept lulling, getting lost in their moment.

When she moved on him, she watched him take a deep breath and hold it in his chest. Pleasure was slipping through her, making it so difficult for her not to get selfish and just take what she wanted.

“Tell me how it feels, Kyle.” Her words were accompanied by another slow thrust.

He rolled his eyes in the back of his skull as a small whimper shook his chest. “You feel-” his words were choked, “Hot. And wet. And so damn tight I can’t breathe.”

“Good?” She wondered brushing her lips across his forehead and down his nose, enjoying how he moved under her, responding to her naturally.

“So, so, good, baby.”

Erika hid her proud smile into his lips, kissing him deeply.

“I will go faster now, is that ok?”

“Please,”

Erika proceeded to ride him, bucking her hips up and down his cock with increasing speed, following the pleasure quickly mounting into her lower abdomen and spreading through her as he stroked her most sensitive spot inside of her. She didn’t care about being quiet anymore. On the contrary, she was as vocal as possible. She wanted him to hear exactly what he was doing to her.

She held onto his shoulders as her pleasure only grew, making her fingers claw. She dug her nails into his flesh, willingly leaving marks across his back.

“Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” she cooed to his ear, enjoying the little noises he made in response.

“I am so close,” he whispered sounding so desperate it sent her feral.

“Do you want to come, pretty boy?” She wandered making him look at her.

Kyle nodded, letting her see how the pleasure of being lost inside of her shaped his face.

Erika pulled his hair, making him bend his head backwards and riding him mercilessly, determined to take what she wanted. Every drop of it. “Then let it go,”

He wrapped his arms around her, squeezing his fingers on every inch of skin he could grab. He pulled down on her hips, burying himself as deep inside of her as humanly possible.

“Kyle,” she welcomed him with a moan, letting her head fall backwards. She felt him in her stomach. He choked the breath out of her chest and she loved every second of it. To the point, she started wondering how she could have got back to normality.

Kyle quivered underneath her. His breath was shaken and broken, as he erratically mumbled her name, chanting it like a prayer. And then she felt him get stiffer as pleasure shook him. He found his release quickly and violently, suffocating a loud moan into the crook of her neck and letting himself go in between her arms.

Erika felt him unload inside of her; she felt every inch of him shake in waves of pleasure, that crossed straight into her flesh, pushing her over the same edge. Her pleasure caught both by surprise. She didn’t count on coming. Not the first time anyway. Instead, her orgasm mounted violently inside of her just a moment after him. Erika came calling his name in a soft whimper, praising him and cradling him into her arms. Her quivering body squeezed him into overstimulation, making him extremely reactive to her spasms, as he gifted her with small, pretty whines, not daring to push her away but letting her ride her high.

“Fuck,” she whispered, trying to catch her breath, “you are pretty good for a good, little, virgin boy.” Erika pressed grateful kisses on his forehead and cheeks, not hiding her proud, lovestruck smile.

“I can be even better,” Kyle looked up at her, so devoted she felt his gaze into her heart. His hands cupped her face as he pulled her into a soft kiss. “You know,” he began, stroking her softly, “what I feel for you, don’t you?”

Erika had to fight against the need to hear him say it. She knew. She knew so well. Her heart sang for him. She didn’t need his words to know that if she was ready to fall he’d be there to catch her. But she couldn’t afford to hear it. Erika pressed her fingers on his lips, gently shutting him up. “Whatever, you know? Don’t say it, Kyle.”

“Why?”

“Because if you say it, I’ll have to say that I do too. And that won’t be fair.”

“We just had sex. You were my first. And somehow this is worse?”

“No. Not worse,” Erika kissed his lips softly, “I can deal with sex. I know sex. I don’t know feelings. Don’t say it, Kyle, please.” She sounded so desperate.

“Ok,” the look he sent her was just as intense, “Whatever.”

Later, that same night, Kyle laid heavily on her, fast asleep. He passed out pretty quickly after their third round. Which was another surprise he had in store for her, just like the amount of pleasure he was able to give her. He was a quick, eager learner.

She wouldn’t have forgotten that night easily. Surprisingly, the good sex her little virgin pretty boy gave her wasn’t the only reason.

Erika was lost in the quietness surrounding them. Time had slowed down. She listened to his soft snoring and softly played with his hair with one hand and stroked his back with the other. His head was nested on her chest, arms caging her under him.

It was pretty good, she thought. It was something she so desperately wanted to get used to.

Maybe, she should have revised her entire plan. Maybe, she could have stood up to her brother and faced the consequence of accepting to be in love with that sweet boy. It could have worked. She could, maybe, deserve to be happy. If only-

Erika brushed her lips softly on Kyle’s forehead. “I love you,” she whispered ever so softly. A secret no one else could know.

The bright sun flooded the room. The morning was well started as birds sang outside, traffic flowed on the road by the hotel and people walked up and down the rooms, closing doors and dragging suitcases.

But the same couldn’t be said for the occupants of the bed. Erika was oblivious. Lost in her lazy slumber, drowning in soft pillows and even softer arms. She had woken a couple of times already but had decided to roll over and ignore responsibilities, only finding Kyle’s arms ready to hug her and pull her in a deeper, warmer hug. Why would she ever consider waking up when the alternative was that sweet?

A singing maid pushed her wonky trolley through the corridor. Erika vaguely heard it creak as it moved. But it was when it got slammed carelessly against the wall just outside her door that she was finally startled awake.

As Erika jumped up, Kyle too moved, rolling on his back and taking a deep breath in. Senses came back slowly to her at first; she had a second to recollect her memories, the room looked just as messy as she was used to having it, but she knew she wasn’t home, she was in a hotel somewhere in England. Essex maybe? Or Suffolk, it didn’t matter much. Then Erika was hit by a massive headache that weighed her head down. She felt it in her teeth. Behind her eyes. Under her ears. Into her fingertips and toes. Her stomach twisted.

“Ugh,” she hissed, letting herself fall back on the mattress, covering her eyes with her arm.

“’orning,” Kyle mumbled, stretching on the mattress next to her. “Did you sleep well?”

It took her a second longer to remember everything else. Mark. Kyle. The sex. The feelings. Panic started to set inside of her, making adrenaline fire up in her veins, giving her the familiar fight-or-flight feeling she was so used to dealing with running.

“Shit,” she kicked her sheets off, jumping off the bed looking for something, anything, to wear to cover herself up.

Kyle sat up, frowning, rubbing his hands on his face.

Erika took a moment to look at him, not even realising she had stopped only to think how pretty he was just awake, skin kissed by the sun. Or maybe it was everything they shared that made her want to drop everything else, slip back into bed and let him know how much she had no intention of letting him go, ever.

“What is it?” He wondered, leaning his head to the side, puzzled.

Erika got shaken back into reality and went back to her hasted movements. “You weren’t supposed to sleep here all night,” she warned directly looking at him.

“OK? So?”

“Get up,” Erika threw his t-shirt back at him. “You went M.I.A. all night, you know what that means? Mark has probably lost his mind by now.”

Kyle shook his head. “I don’t care, I am an adult. He’ll be fine.”

“No. He won’t.” Erika shook her head, “Trust me, Kyle. He won’t. Not about this.”

Kyle shook himself awake, trying to connect her words to a deeper meaning, even though his face remained only puzzled. “Slow down,” he hinted, moving to the edge of the bed to grab her by the arm and stop her erratic moving around. Kyle pulled her closer to him, and, against her better judgment, she let him. “Explain what’s going on to me, please?”

“I am kicking you out.” Erika sighed sadly. “And Mark can never know this happened,” she pointed in between them, “He won’t forgive me, ever. He doesn’t want me to be with you. He made it pretty clear last night.”

“Is that what happened at the pub? Why you left?”

“Yeah,”

“Erika,” Kyle tried to catch her gaze, “I don’t care what Mark thinks, I want to be with you.”

“No. You don’t. I have a past. I did terrible things. Mark knows every single one of those things. He knows better what’s good for me. You might be good for me, there’s hardly a person you wouldn’t be good for. But I am not good for you. He’s right on that.”

“Do I get an opinion about this?”

Erika looked up into his eyes, silently begging him to stop. “Please, Kyle, don’t go there.”

“Hey, hey,” Kyle cupped her face, making her look at him, trying to scoop her out of her panic. “I don’t care about all of that. Whatever you were before I met you won’t change the girl I fell for now. You don’t want to tell your brother? Fine by me. Just tell me you are ok.”

“I’m,” Erika was ready to slip off his hold and yet, somehow, there was something in his gaze that hooked her. “I’m ok,” she whispered leaning in to give him a quick kiss, “But you need to go.”

“Ok,” Kyle still pulled a cheeky smile, pulling her into a kiss. Then, he hopped off the bed and back into his clothes. “I’ll see you at breakfast?”

“Food. God, yes. Let’s hope we’ll be on time for it.”

He still hung by the door, looking back at her. His lips were bent in a stupid smile, his gaze, as he looked at her, was completely smitten. “For what is worth, I am glad we did what we did.”

She stood by a forked road; she was looking at her options and felt like both led to ruin. One represented something sweeter, that would have hurt so much more when everything would have gone up in flames. The other was jumping into the void now.

Erika was well aware of what she had been telling herself all night. She knew what she was supposed to do. What she thought was the best course of action. And yet, now, standing there, she was just a lovestruck girl, looking at a boy she liked so much her chest hurt only thinking about it. It was hard to breathe. She told herself she would have been able to shake herself back to normal. She was convinced she could have scratched that itch for him and then go at breaking his heart as if nothing mattered. Except she lied.

Her itch to scratch was only becoming bigger. About a lifetime size, right now. How would one shake that?

“Me too,” she admitted, pulling a soft smile. “Now go, you idiot,” she chuckled, hinting at the door. “I’ll see you later.”

As soon as Kyle left the room and Erika was left alone, her despair and torment took over her, stripping her of every good feeling and intention that was giving her a shred of hope.

She wasn’t going to be able to make him happy. Maybe for a few weeks, it would have worked, but not for long. She wasn’t enough for him. She would have never been enough, and when Kyle realised that too, it would have been the end of her. She was addicted to how he made her feel, now, because he didn’t know who she had been before and made her feel so good about everything she was and did. But what about when he’d look at her with regrets and resentment, realising he had made a mistake trusting someone like her?

Erika forced herself to shove those thoughts to the side and got in the shower, doing her best to delay the panic attack she felt mounting into her chest.

Breathing in the steam and getting lost in the soft smell of her fresh shower gel that always reminded her of a shower took in the evening after a long summer day spent at the beach was reassuring. She let the hot water run across her skin. It was a compromise between the sadness of washing away the traces of the night she spent with Kyle and the relaxation her tensed nerves found.

By the time she was done with the shower and brushed her teeth, it was almost ten o’clock and Erika had barely time to dress up and ran out of her room if she wanted to catch the breakfast. She needed it. She realised that besides a few chips and the tequila she drunk last night, she had been fasting since lunch the day before. She needed to eat some solid food, to drink a coffee and possibly some orange juice. God, she hoped to find some.

Erika entered the restaurant on a trot, welcoming the familiar smell of the breakfast canteen every hotel seemed to have with a soft smile. Most tables were being cleaned up. Most food from the buffet was gone, like the fresh pastries. But she made it. Nothing else mattered. She could see the filter coffee pot on the side and thought “life is good”.

She turned over, looking into the room, finding both Mark and Kyle sat at a table by the window. The table was a mess. Mark sat in front of Kyle, he had several stacked-up plates in front of him, already empty, probably from a while, and was enjoying some coffee, while Kyle was deep into his full breakfast. They were chitchatting joyfully, big smiles on both their faces. And Erika took a moment to just enjoy seeing them like that. She wished she had her camera on her. They were both so beautiful and without a worry in the world.

Her chest ached.

As soon as she moved, Kyle caught a glimpse of her and his eyes didn’t leave her. His cheeks immediately blushed softly as his bright eyes glimmered. There was something, in his gaze, that couldn’t be mistaken. He looked like someone who’d seen her naked. He gifted her a large smile as she approached the table.

“Hey,”

“Good morning,” Erika avoided eye contact, pushing her damp hair behind her ear as if that could mask the guilty look she had on her face. She knew Mark was looking at them, she felt his eyes suspiciously moving on her.

“Saved you the last croissant,” Kyle pushed the little plate with the golden pastry cooked to perfection closer to her.

Erika wanted to smack him, and at the same time, everything she wanted to do was to kiss him and express her utmost devotion to his sweet concern. She had to bite her tongue not to. Not when Mark was there.

They had no chance of trying to hide anything from her brother.

“Thanks,” again, she ignored Kyle as much as she could. Clearing her voice, she finally looked at Mark, finding him waiting. He read right through her. Erika immediately looked away, regretting every decision she took in the last twenty-four hours. “Ok, then, I’ll go grab myself some coffee.”

She turned over, leaving them both and went hiding at the buffet counter, weighing her options.

She could have made a run for it; the door was just to her left. Maybe there was a way to never face the consequences of her actions. Cowardice, for sure. But also, she felt it could have been easy to pack her stuff, drop her job and disappear. After all, how many times did she think about it before?

Erika made herself a glass of orange juice and gulped it down and then made another.

No. That was ridiculous. She could never do that.

Fake even when brought up in front of the crushing evidence that she was, in fact, in love with Kyle and nothing could erase what they did last night? Yes. That was better.

Erika poured herself a cup of black filter coffee, wondering if it would have tasted just as disgusting as any other hotel breakfast buffet filter coffee.

“The fuck is up with you two!?”

Mark’s sudden interruption startled her enough that she almost dropped her cups. “Shit, mate, you scared me.”

He casually poured himself a cup of coffee, even though Erika suspected that was just an excuse to get closer to her. “Don’t deflect, sis. What did you do?”

“Nothing,” she lied, shrugging.

Mark grumbled, shaking his head, so disappointed in her he didn’t even need to say anything to hurt her. “The way he looks at you it’s not nothing. And since when you are fucking shy!? C’mon, cut the crap.”

“What do you want me to say!? If I look at him you come at me because I do. And if I don’t you still-”

“Hey,” Mark pointed a finger in her face, “you think I am an idiot? I know you. What did you do!? Are you trying to stand up to me or something, playing with him in the process?”

Erika put her cups down and decided there and then that she was done. She wasn’t a coward who’d run away so easily or ignored the situation forever. Not anymore.

Anger flooded straight through her, firing up her nervous system, and making her squeeze her fists. “You think so little of me?”

“I think I know you. I think I’ve seen enough of your little whims and games. I think I don’t want to see you play with him and end up ruining him, just like you do with everything.”

“Mark,” Erika gasped, hit deeply by his words, shaking her head. “Do you hear yourself?”

“Can you blame me, sis?”

“You are supposed to be in my corner,” she was the one pointing at him now, openly confronting him. “You are supposed to support me.”

“Not with Kyle, I don’t. We both know you’ll get tired of him so quickly. As soon as you are done getting your ego fed by how differently he treats you, you’ll go back to seeking the thrill like you always do. Just leave him alone.”

“Say it,” she hissed. “Say how you think a good-for-nothing, junky, slut like me will never deserve someone like him. I fucking dare you.”

Mark huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’ll never say that to you.”

“Well, you already did. You are thinking about it. Might as well use the real words you are thinking, uh? Have the guts to go all the way, at least.”

“Fine,”

Erika gasped, feeling the air being taken out of her chest. She hoped until the end he wouldn’t agree with her. She gave him the benefit of the doubt, grasping on her last shred of trust in her brother, that he’d never go so low. And yet, she was wrong.

Of all the people in her life, even Kyle, Mark was the one most capable of destroying her.

And he just did.

“Fuck you,” Erika fought back her tears, not intentioned to give him the satisfaction to see how deeply he just hurt her. “Anything that will happen now it’s your fault. I want you to know. I want you to feel it. And regret it.”

“Erika,”

The second he tried to hold her, she pushed him back, spitting in his face. “No. You fucking bastard. You don’t get to annihilate me and shit all over everything I have done in my life, the good and the bad, in one minute, and then feel better about it.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What are you going to do?”

“Break his fucking heart for one. I could have made him happy. Maybe,” this time she didn’t hide her tears. “But you had to happen to me. I hate you. And then I am going to shoot some heroin,” Erika smiled maniacally, “Hope to die in the process and stay on your fucking conscience forever,”

Pushing Mark off again, Erika stormed out, too shaken to even consider staying, too distraught to remember about her hunger or dehydration. Who cared about those things? They weren’t important anymore.

She needed to think. She needed space. She needed a smoke so bad.

“Erika, wait,”

“Kyle, get fucked,” she hissed, not stopping her march through the lobby.

“Baby, hold on,” he caught up on her easily and tried to grab her, only for Erika to immediately fight him too.

“What!? What do you want from me, Kyle!?”

Her harsh tone clearly hurt him. Part of her wanted to apologise and hold him and let him hold her and give her all the love and support he had in him. But the rest of her didn’t allow it. She wouldn’t have allowed anyone to hurt her like Mark did. She couldn’t trust anyone, ever. It would have made her only vulnerable. Weak.

Hurting Kyle got rid of the problem. He was the only person left who saw something in her. She sure didn’t anymore. And hurting him would have hurt Mark, just like he deserved.

It didn’t matter how much it would have hurt her. She was already in hell by that point, reliving everything she had done, everything she was and wondering why she ever tried to become better when there was no chance for her.

“I need to make sure you are ok.”

“Well, I am not ok. Do you know why? Because of you. Do you want to know what!?” She burst out, “I didn’t want to say anything before because I didn’t want to hurt you, but I want nothing more to do with you. We had sex, it was fun, thanks, I needed it. And now I got what I wanted and you lost your shine to me.”

“You don’t mean that, I know you don’t.”

“Watch me meaning it.” She turned over, walking out of the hotel, only to grumble when she realised Kyle was still there. “Stop following me around like a lost puppy,”

“Erika, stop for a second, will you?”

“Why?” She did stop. And she did face him. Ready to regret everything she was going to do from there to a minute time. “So that I can look you in the eye and tell you I don’t want to see you anymore? I’ve got everything you had to give and I am done now?” Erika’s conviction in the terrible things she was saying was so true all her lies seemed real. Even to her, for a second. Enough for her not to feel her chest being ripped apart by her own hands. The world was going up in flames around her and she was ready to dance in it. “I don’t need a lost little boy who still has to learn everything in my life. I need myself a man.”

“I-” he stumbled in his own words, genuinely hurt now.

“Make everyone a favour and go back to your silly little life, playing pretend on rings in small gyms in forsaken places around the country, and leave me alone,” she dismissed him turning around, digging into her hoody pocket in search of her cigarettes. “Go back to Mark.”

She knew it took him some time to decide to retreat back inside and when Kyle finally did leave her alone, Erika felt free to let her pain slash through her. Her shoulders bent under the weight of the rubbles of her crumbling world. Hope was lost. And she found some sort of comfort in her despair. It was something familiar that she welcomed like an old friend.

She cried quietly, hiding behind a corner, finishing her cigarette, hanging desperately on the nicotine fix like it was her only lifeline. When she was done, she immediately lit herself another and waited. She wasn’t enjoying it. She wasn’t taking the moment in and soaking under the morning sun, enjoying the warm air smelling of spring. The only thing she wanted to do was to run. She was only taking a second to gather her nerves up and make a plan.

Maybe it was time to disappear. Maybe it was time to go home. Who did she think to fool? She wasn’t so strong as she thought. She would have never escaped her past. It would have always ended up that way.

#kyle fletcher #kyle fletcher smut #kyle fletcher x reader #kyle fletcher x ofc #aew fanfiction #kyle fletcher fanfic

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chussyracing · 2 years

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Could you tell me a list of great blogs to follow and why, please? 🥺 Sorry to bother you, I'm just new here and didn't wanna end up in the wrong circles

baby, i'm the wrong circles.... ok, u will get mostly charles blogs, so let me know u like someone else (or don't, i can help with like.... lewis and seb and mick blogs at most)

@race-week if u need a great insight into the sport, especially if ur a newbie and don't understand some parts of the sport (u get rules, news, tech side, stats and other data) - also this is the first and only general f1 blog u get, others are extremely me-biased

@balaclavacharles my most beloved, loves charles the most (with lewis as close behind), indifferent on the rest, only hates the criminals (rightfully so), very sweet but also funny (follow for the charles posts, stay for the memes) - u will also get a few nyck posts that are so worth it

@livetogether--diealone loves charles lewis and seb, the best artist out there (makes me cry with the charles art often), funny, italian, temperament (sorry this sounds like a date app profile u will understand)

@mssr-monagato funky and opinionated, likes charles and lewis (and pierre), filter out piarles if u don't like it, u will see a lot of it

I'd tag Akira here if I knew HER URL 😭 it used to be effervescentdragon but I bet she changed it for seb so I will add her after I find it, follow for a ton of fics, charles, lewis, seb, filter out carlos if u need (warning for unrelated posts like uh hobit? I think)

@deercharles such a SWEETIE but u will get lovely posts full of charles appreciation, the founder of geochalex nation

@ferrariprince16 lots of edits for ur liking, mostly charles, lewis and seb, ITALIAN (u can never follow too many italians btw), too nice for her own liking, brutally honest sometimes (might make u cry with tiktok edits)

@lileclair unhinged just like me. tag talker (like me), dramatic (like me), great tagging system (unlike me), will find basically any post u need (if not we join forces and spend hours on it lol)

Other blogs i like and why:

@pinsaroulettes - hater first, human second, please keep up the good work

@sbinalino - u will also get guanyu besides charles and lewis and we all need more of him

@vett4l - I hope this is kyle. If not ignore this. otherwise: gifmaker, content creator, mick blog but also likes charles and seb and nyck!!, dutch (derogatory) but anti max (affectionate)

@schumaclerc - because they go together and u can't devide them, again a mick blog, filter out fernando if u don't like him, u will see him there rip, gifmaker, geochalex truther

@maranello (also historical ferrari drivers, u can cry to michael posts) and @evilscuderia and @leqclerc (filter out sebchal if it's not ur thing) and @lukamodric (some football posts too if ur into it) - ferrari blogs (with charles bias just like every ferrari blog should be)

@cichocicho - also a personal blog so u get a lot of relatable posts, come for f1, stay for biatlon (likes the correct Boe brother)

@oscar-piastri - content creator and loves juniors too, legendary mock up merch better than original

@dobbiamo-capire - italian. like painfully so. Will make u cry. Ask them about owls 💀

@samlammers - best roscoe and albon pets account out there. no i'm kidding mina will provide u with all the lewis and charles (and roscoe) posts u need, makes adorable edits

@dailyleclerc - for all the charles content so u stay up to date

@l8tof1 @heartsoftruth @wejustvibing to get ur deserved lewis fix 😋

@champagnepodiums for media analysis, esp lists of drivers and their gains each race weekend

Others i love reblogging from without any particular reasons:

@charlewiss @sokoal @bracedes @holdmyhopeinyourhands @my-fragment-of-peace @userhamilton

Special shoutout to the entire chircus gc and especially those of u who changed ur urls so i didn't find u 🤡

Feel free to add ur recs to this to help anon!

#ask #e

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chaotic-guinea-pig · 1 year

Note

someone rec'd your Stan x Kyle fic to me AND IM SCREAMING BECAUSE DUDE WHAT THE BLOODY DICKENHELLS THIS IS SO GOOD SAUCE?????? 😭😭😭 YOU BROKE ME TWICE. TWO TIMES. first time it was the banishment scene bc Stan baby did NOT deserve that AND THEN THE WATERFALL SCENE LIKE WHYYYY. WHY WHY WHY WHY /POS

AHHHHH THANK YOU, THANK YOU! <33333 I'm very happy that you're enjoying it so far. Hope you enjoy the future chapters (which speaking of... should be coming after June 16th?)

So sorry about the pain though. :( I promise things will get better for Stan and Kyle...eventually (cackles manically). In the meantime, may I offer you this wholesome Style gif during these trying times?

#ALSO WHOA SOMEONE RECOMMENDED MY FIC TO YOU?#omg #whoever you are - thank you for sharing my fic around <3 that means a lot #asks #a ballad of true hearts #sp style

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t0rture-me · 2 years

Note

🥰 for danny :)

🥰 - Post-nightmare cuddles

you really like nightmares, huh bud? also note to taglist- this is my new blog, i've moved over, so make sure you're following this one!

[TW nothing really? idk lemme know if there's something i should tag]

Danny woke up with a nightmare again. This wasn't new, Kyle knew to expect them almost every night as soon as they saw Danny's two sets of bite marks for the first time. They could already tell that this one was different, though. Danny was upset, not afraid. Usually he was afraid.

Another tell-tale sign was that Danny pulled away from Kyle. After nightmares, he always clung to them like a light in the dark. Or a wooden stake in a hunter's hand.

"What was different this time, baby?" Kyle asked, sitting up, moving a bit closer to Danny.

He silently shook his head, sliding closer to the edge of the bed.

"What did your therapist say about this, hm?"

"Not t-to bottle it..."

"Right, baby. I don't wanna make you talk about it right away if you don't wanna, but you gotta talk to me at som--"

"You were there this time." Danny cut them off. "You've n-never been there."

"Ok... Did they hurt me?" Kyle asked gently. Danny shook his head. "What happened then, baby?"

"Y-you saw me and you just looked so disgusted. You said I w-was pathetic and that I d-d-deserved it." Danny's breath hitched. "Then they came d-down and you j-just watched while they hurt me and I-I-I begged you to help and you didn't. You just stood there and then you just left and I was calling for you and you didn't care and you left."

"I- Sweetheart, I'm sorry." They reached out to grab Danny's shoulder, but when he flinched, they pulled their hand away. "It was just a dream, though, honey. I would never do that to you, ok?"

"I know I ju-just-- It felt so real and- and you left."

"I know, and I am so, so sorry that you had that awful nightmare. What can I do to help?"

It was silent, save for the soft creaking of the bed where Danny was sitting up, rocking himself to self-soothe. The plush blanket on their bed bunched itself in his hands while he tried to figure out how to feel better.

"I don't know..." Danny shrugged. "Just don't go. Please don't go."

"Never. How about this," Kyle offered, "let's go to the kitchen- together- and I'll make you some tea. We can talk or put on your favorite movie. Whatever you want, ok?"

Danny nodded, finally reaching a shaky hand behind him for a comforting touch from his love.

Taglist - @whumpsday @pumpkin-spice-whump @ramadiiiisme @octopus-reactivated @wolfeyedwitch @whumpiguess @thecyrulik @whumpeedeedoo @morning-star-whump @interdimensional-chaos @annablogsposts @oddsconvert @melancholy-in-the-morning @paranoiaxagent @melennui @darlingwhump @no-terms-and-conditions-apply

#cat and mouse #whump fic #recovery arc #whump #whumpee #caretaker #drabble #emotional whump #whump drabble #whump stuff #vampire whumper

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divinerulerluvr · 3 years

Text

The Evan's With a S/O Who is Uncomfortable With Sex

Warnings - sex mentions, the title is self-explanatory pretty much

Tate, Kit, Kyle, Jimmy, James, Kai, Jeff, Colin included :)

A/N - As an S.A survivor who hates the idea of extended contact, I figured I'd write this for people like me. This is also kind of just uncomfortable with touch in general, too. GN!Reader, btw.

TATE LANGDON

- Wouldn't understand why at first. - And probably think it was just because he was the problem. - Would apologize profusely while under the idea that he was the issue.

"I'm sorry. I-I didn't know," he rushes out, stepping back from you as his cheeks flush red.

"It's not you, Tate. It's just... i don't like it,"

He stares at you for a second, basically hyperventilating as he gets over the rush of fear that he messed up.

- In the end, would comfort you. - And is totally respectful of your boundaries.

KIT WALKER

- After telling him, he'd quickly understand. - Very mature about it, too.

"It's not you, i just hate physical contact like that," you finish explaining to him. He nods, taking his hand off of your thigh. "I know. I get it, baby," he assures with a smile.

You sigh in relief, having known he was going to be respectful but still appreciating how kind he was about it.

- Would do anything in his power to learn your boundaries and not cross them. - Doesn't pressure you or anything, of course. - A stand-up gentleman about it.

KYLE SPENCER

- Another one who wouldn't get it at first. - He had the notion that all girls liked to be touched so it took a few minutes to sink in.

"I really like you. I just... i'm not ready for that kind of stuff. At all," you tell him, afraid he would react negatively. He shakes his head, placing his hand on yours.

"It's okay. I understand. You don't gotta explain anything to me," he says.

You smiles, comforted by his hand on yours.

- Holds back from all contact unless you give approval of it first. - Treads very carefully with that, too. - Always afraid he'd do something wrong at first. - But soon gets it.

JIMMY DARLING

- He's just a gentleman. - Asks your boundaries the moment you tell him about how you don't like sexual things.

"So what are you okay with?" he asks with genuine care. "Um, hand holding, brief hugs, platonic touches, kisses obviously," you list off for him, glad he cared this much.

He nods, making a mental note of what you had just told him. "I'll try," he says with complete conviction.

- Easily obeys these boundaries. - Remembers what you like and dislike easily so he doesn't mess up. - Makes sure you're always comfortable with touches before doing them.

JAMES PATRICK MARCH

- Is completely lost at first. - Asks a ton of questions. - Crap like "Why?" and other intrusive questions. - But not in a negative way, he's just curious.

"Bad experiences, i guess," you answer nervously, not sure if his questions were out of the good of his heart or if he was mad that you wouldn't have sex with him.

He nods, his brows drawn in subtle confusion. "Did somebody do something to you?" he asks.

"James," you say, wanting him to stop with the questions. "Sorry, dear. I let my invasive curiosity get the best of me," he says, kissing your cheek gently.

- Tries to obey your boundaries but fumbles up sometimes. - When he does do something you don't like, he freaks out and apologizes like crazy.

KAI ANDERSON

- Let's be honest here, he wouldn't care. - Kai is a dick. - Therefore, wouldn't even bother respecting you. - But you deserve better. - Never let a man disrespect your boundaries no matter what they may be. - There's always a man out there willing to treat you with care.

JEFF PFISTER

- Would be confused. - Him loving sex, he doesn't get why you wouldn't be okay with it.

"It's just my preference. You aren't mad, are you?" you say, looking at him with a careful gaze. He shakes his head. "No. 'Course not. Just kinda confused, you know?" he replies.

"But you're fine with it right?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" he says, almost offended by why you thought that in the first place.

- Even if he can be a little too careless, he's always careful to not break your boundaries. - Treats you amazing, though.

COLIN ZABEL

- Immediately understands. - Doesn't even question it.

"That's fine," he says, sitting back from you. You smile, happy he could be so okay with it.

- Always asks if something is okay before doing it. - Makes sure you're always okay with something. - Doesn't make you feel bad about not wanting to have sex, either. - Rare find, right?

Taglist: (ask to be removed if you would like) @just-some-lesbian @evanmybeloved @sallyscigarettes @arsenicbruise @auricgold @billyhxrgrove @liandav @peanutbutter-y-jams @ellamaianderson @mossybank @kaiscumrag @spookybitch @anisabb @xmaximoffic @copy-of-a-cheeto @cursedandromedablack @marynlangdon @tatesimper @mrspetxrs @im-verysad link to be added to the taglist here https://forms.gle/CfYyEsXsvTJAFpDf9

#ahs #evan peters #kai anderson #tate langdon #american horror story #kit walker #james patrick march #fic #headcanons #fluff #kind of

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itsadamcole · 4 years

Text

you’re my nxt champion

fem!reader x finn balor

(requested) Finn loses his title to Adam Cole, and reader is right there to comfort him ... "you're my nxt champion"

word count: 1.3k+

warnings: upset!finn, a lil fluff, a lil smut

— @ anonymous, i hope you enjoy and i hope it’s what you wanted —

masterlist || request an imagine here

~ semi 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

Adam Cole just hit in the Last Shot on Finn. Finn is down as Adam goes in for the pin.

One. Two. Three. Ding ding. "And new NXT Champion, Adam Cole!" Alicia Taylor says into the microphone. You stand in the crowd and watch as Adam holds that title high up in the air. His music plays and Finn sits in the corner, looking up at the belt he carried with pride during his 182-day reign.

The music stops and you watch Kyle O'Reilly come out from nowhere, attacking Adam. Finn watches for a second before his eyes try to find you in the crowd. You sit front row at ringside so it's easy for him to find you. Finn rolls out of the ring but doesn't come to you when his eyes find you. He sulks backstage and you begin to make your way through the crowd to go meet up with your husband.

When you show your pass to get to the backstage area, you don't see Finn. You walk up to Shotzi Blackheart and ask, "Did you see where Finn went? I saw him come back here."

Shotzi nods and says, "He went back towards the locker rooms. I'm sorry he lost his title, Y/N. I know he was so proud to have it."

"He'll be okay," you say. "Congratulations on winning your title tonight. You've deserved it for a long time."

She smiles at you and you walk off to find Finn. You make your way through the maze of hallways until you get to Finn's locker room. You knock softly and call, "Finn? It's Y/N. Can I come in?" No answer.

You slowly open the door and see Finn sitting on the couch with his back turned to you. You notice he's still in his gear. You walk in and close the door. You approach him and wrap your arms around his neck from behind him, kissing his shoulder. "Hey, baby," you whisper. "You okay?"

"No," Finn says, voice shaky. You look up at him and see his cheeks wet with tears. Your heart breaks at the sight. You walk around the couch and crouch in front of your husband. You put your hands on his knees and look up at him.

His pretty blue eyes are filled with tears and he looks at you. You pout and say, “Finny, baby.”

Finn gets up and says, “I’m going home. I don’t wanna talk about it.” He grabs his clothes and disappears into the bathroom. You sigh and sit on the couch.

You knew he was upset, but you didn’t know it would be this bad. He’s lost titles before, but none of them have made him act like this.

He comes out of the bathroom, throwing his gear in the suitcase and walking out of the room. You sigh and follow him. You walk several feet behind him, grabbing your car keys out of your pocket.

Both of you get outside and you unlock the car. Finn angrily throws his things in the trunk then gets in the passenger’s seat.

It’s going to be a long ride home and you are not looking forward to it.

***

Finn gets out of the car as soon as you park the car in the garage. The door slamming shut makes you jump. He’s already inside when you get out. You lock the car and walk inside.

You hear footsteps going up the stairs when you make your way from the kitchen to the living room. You hang up your keys by the door and kick off your shoes before you walk upstairs.

Soft sobs come from your bedroom that you share with Finn. The sound alone makes you tear up. You appear in the doorway and see Finn sitting on his side of the bed, facing away from you. His hands cover his face and they quiet his sobs a bit. You let out a quiet sigh and crawl into bed, settling on your knees behind him. You wrap your arms around him and say, “I am so proud of you, Finn. You held the title for 182 days. You fought through a broken jaw. Name a champion that has done that.”

“None of that matters if I don’t hold the title,” Finn cries. “I never should have lost the title to Cole of all people. I wanted to prove that I could beat the best of the best. Cole is one of the best that’s wrestled in the sport. If I can’t beat him then why I am here.”

You tighten your grip around his neck and say, “You’re here because you love wrestling. You love the sport, you love being in the ring. Believe it or not, Finn, but you are one of the best that’s wrestled too. Two-time NXT Champion, the first ever Universal Champion, two-time Intercontinental Champion. Not to mention the titles you’ve won in Japan and across the world.”

Finn says, “I held the Universal title for less than a day, and the only reason I was champion was because Kross got injured for the same reason I did. All I wanted was to make ya and my family back in Ireland proud.”

He looks over at you and you press your forehead to the side of his head. Tears prick at your eyes. You hate that he’s doubting himself. He’s one of the most decorated wrestlers you know. “Finn,” you sigh. “You have made me proud. You’ve made your family proud. You don’t need a title to make us proud, baby.”

“Ya don’t need to lie to me, Y/N,” Finn sighs.

You close your eyes and say, “I’ve never lied to you, Finn. If it makes you feel better though, you’re my NXT Champion, baby. You’ll always be my NXT champion.”

He rests his hands on your arms and looks over at you. “I don’t have the belt anymore,” Finn says.

After crawling onto and sitting on his lap, you say, “You don’t need to have the belt to be my champion, Finn. I love you with or without the belt.”

Finn pecks your nose and says, “Ya always know what to say to make me feel better.”

You smile and say, “It’s my job as your wife to know what to say to make you feel better.” You wrap your arms around his neck and look at him.

“Ya know what else would make me feel better?” Finn asks.

“What would that be?” you say, knowing what the answer probably is.

His eyes give away what is answer is too, especially when they flicker to your lips. Finn says, “Distracting me.” One of his hands slips between your thighs, close to your core.

You gasp and say, “You’re bad, you know that? You were upset like two minutes ago and now you want sex?”

Finn shrugs and says, “Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t.”

Just to get him going, you run a finger down his chest and say, “You did look pretty hot in that ring tonight.”

He laughs and kisses you. The kiss is soft at first but starts right get intense almost immediately. You move until you’re straddling Finn’s thighs. You manage to get his shirt off before he lays you on your back.

You distract him almost all night long. You make him take breaks because unlike him, you can’t go all night long.

The next morning, Finn wakes you up with kisses to your face. “Good morning, love,” he mumbles against your cheek. “Wakey wakey.”

“Finn,” you grumble, half asleep. “It is too early for another round of sex. I can’t do it.”

He laughs and says, “I made ya breakfast, baby. Maybe sex afterward though.”

You giggle and look over at Finn. You peck his lips and say, “Depends on how good breakfast is.” You get up and put on one of Finn’s shirts and a pair of panties. Finn laughs as you leave the room, walking downstairs to the food.

#finn balor imagine #finn balor x reader #wrestling imagine #wwe imagine #imagine #imagines #wwe fluff #wrestling fluff #finn balor fluff #imagine request #requested

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staytiny-angel · 3 years

Text

Grace and Country 2/5

Rating: M

Pairing: 'Hangman' Adam Page/F!OC, One-Sided Kenny Omega/F!OC

Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Harrassment.

Co-Written with @lilmissriottbliss

Taglist - @moxleyunstable, @axelwolf8109

Summary: Ava and Adam go on that date, it goes about you'd expect with the Dark Order involved, Things with Kenny come to a head.

"Violet!"

"Ava? Mon Cher Smackdown is about to start why are you screaming?"

Violet gave Finn a look before putting her friend on speaker "Mon Roi is here too, what has you so excited?"

"ADAM ASKED ME OUT ON A DATE!" The younger woman yelled

Ava could hear Violet cursing in French from a small distance. “Really? That’s amazing! Give me details now!”

“I lost my phone and he found it near your adopted brother and then Kenny was annoying me again so he covered for me by saying we were going on a date so we’re actually going on one!”

“I’m so happy for you!”

“Could you do me a solid?” Ava asked

Of course darling," Violet agreed

"Could you guys not tell the big boss?" Ava begged "You know I love Seth to death, he's my dad shaped person but he wasn't happy about this whole AEW deal and he'll be even less happy to know I'm going out with one of their biggest stars"

Violet and Finn silently looked at each other before agreeing to the younger woman's request

"We have you covered darlin" Finn said

"What are you going to do about Omega?I'm starting to worry. He's really not taking no for an answer"

“I honestly don’t know” Violet handed Finn her phone, taking out the one meant to contact family. “I think she’s going to threaten Malachi into watching over you” Finn laughed.

Ava sighed in relief. While Malachi Black, formerly Aleister to Violet, was dark and broody, he did scare Kenny with a simple stare.

“So how’s Mox doing?” Violet asked

"Good, he got Omega off my back last night at Dynamite, threatened him with Ruby." Ava said "He said something about promising Seth to look out for me?"

"Seth called him and Miro when you decided to go to AEW." Finn explained

"Called in a couple of favors. You are the baby."

Ava rolled her eyes even though the couple couldn't see her "You've got to be kidding. I can take care of myself"

“We know you can take care of yourself, Seth has a overprotective complex”

Ava sighed but didn’t disagree. “We got to go now, see you tomorrow!” Violet hung up.

Ava turned off her phone, seeing a text from Kenny. Rolling her eyes she deleted it. “Is he ever gonna get the point?” she asked herself before flopping on her hotel bed with a sigh. He thoughts turning to the next day and the date she'd been dreaming of for years.

-Next Day-

She met Adam outside a café, the cowboy looking handsome in normal street clothes and without a certain purple and black group shadowing him.

“Wow, you look great” He said. As she grinned and twirled once, showing off the chic black suit she'd chosen for their date.

“Hope you don’t mind but I invited Violet and Finn just in case your friends crash this”

Adam laughed. “They probably will ”

Inside the cafe, Finn and Violet were waiting at a four person table, surprisingly without their daughter in tow.

"Where's my honey bunches?" Ava said with a pout, that Adam found adorable

"Becky and Seth have her" Finn explained "Shes having a playdate"

“Next time you bring her” Ava pointed. Finn raised his hands and laughed. Violet slid over a black coffee to Adam.

He accepted it with a smile. “So you’re both going after the top titles in Smackdown” he grinned.

“Yup!” Finn grinned. “It was fun in NXT but I wasn’t spending another week without my husband there” Ava sighed.

“It’s harder to get a title shot in AEW, I have no idea how to get to Britt”

“I lost the chance to be the inaugural champ because someone thought an ass deserved it” Adam muttered.

“Adam I think your shadows are here” Violet pointed to a booth in the corner

Sure enough, the purple and black clad Dark Order filled 2 corner booths, trying and failing to be inconspicuous.

"Oh god" Adam murmured "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have told them where we were going"

"They really care about you" Ava smiled at Adam causing that feeling to flutter in his chest again.

"You may not, have been the first AEW champion but you've got a shot at Kenny at All Out" Finn says

"Sure do" Adam says "I can't wait, I've owed Kenny an ass whipping for a while now"

“Fucking creep” Ava rolled her eyes. “How’s Paige?”

“You don’t know that from Mox?” Violet raised an eyebrow. Ava shook her head

“She’s ok, doing wonders with her makeup. Her and Sonya are planning a wedding”

Ava nodded. “Sorry about the Kingdom disbanding”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Of course Vince brings up Shotzi and us but doesn’t want Kyle, Millie, Priscilla or Jordan”

Adam and Ava share a smile knowing while AEW wasn't a paradise by any means…it wasn't run by Vince.

A loud bang sounded from the back of the restaurant and every turned to see one of the corner tables flipped on its side as John Silver looked around sheepishly.

Adam dropped his head in his hands as Ava giggled "I'm sorry, I'm gonna go uh…handle this" he said rising from his seat and heading toward the back.

"They are quite the band of misfits aren't they?" Violet said as she tried not to laugh as they watched Adam easily lift the table back in place and start seemingly scolding them for crashing their double date.

"They love him, and with the entire….mess with the Elite…their very overprotective." Ava explained

“Reminds me of Seth” Violet said. Ava’s eyes widened.

“It totally is!” Finn laughed as Adam came back and sat down.

“They swear it’s just a coincidence they all wanted to come here on the same day and time as my date”

Violet flipped her hair and put on her flirty voice. “So this a date?

Adam blushed hard. “Um…well, it’s definitely not a…friend thing…we’re not friends. I mean we are friends!, but I want to be more then friends!"

Ava blushed as she watched Adam flounder under Violet's question

"Leave him alone, mo chroi" Finn finally rescued the younger man from his wife.

“I was just being a good friend” Violet smirked.

Adam took a breath. “I don’t know why but I have a thing for goth people”

Ava looked at Violet.

“Really? Is that why you went to the Dark Order?”

“Honestly? Kenny ruined tag teams for me. The Bullet Club went to shit after you were kicked out”

Finn’s eye twitched, remembering how the Young Bucks fucked him over.

“The Bullet Club is nothing to me now. They ruined it!”

“The Elite’s worse, nothing but kissing Kenny’s ass, apparently he was looking to go to Impact and take their top title”

“Thank god the old man bought them, Impact might have been the worse part of my career but AEW would have ruined them” Violet sipped her ice coffee.

Adam sighed.

“I don’t know what happened. One minute he was my brother, now he’s a stranger” Adam said quietly as Ava rubbed his back

"Its okay, your going to take the AEW title from him at All Out." Ava consoled him.

The 2 couples finished their meal and left the restuarant, Finn and Violet heading to the arena to get ready for Smackdown, and Ava and Adam walking though the city streets enjoying each other's company.

"This has been great" Ava says as they finally end up back at the hotel

"We'll have to do it again sometime" Adam replied causing Ava to blush again.

"Maybe next time….just the two of us?" He asked softly

“No demon and vampires. No Dark Order” Ava agreed. Adam hugged her.

“Adam!” Evil Uno yelled. The pair looked at the stable. Anna walked over. “Well, the date was a success so Alex made you this” She handed a black jacket to Ava. It had a purple rose stitched in the back.

“Wow, Alex’s a suckup” Adam joked. “I’m totally wearing this next week” Anna smiled.

“C’mon Adam, before the idiots start screaming”

He rolled his eyes but hugged Ava goodbye, kissing her hair before walking away.

The Next Week

After spending the weekend and into the next week bouncing between elation over her successful date with Adam (including spending a hefty amount of time texting back and forth with the cowboy) and annoyance that Kenny just would not stop texting and calling, it was finally Wednesday and time for that weeks episode of Dynamite, at which Ava had a match against Nyla Rose.

Over the past few days she had gone hunting for more appropriate gear to compliment her new jacket and was now wearing black leather shorts with purple accents and a purple and black corset top.

"Don't you look like a full fledged member of the misfit society, I really thought you'd have better taste Sweetheart" Kenny said walking up to her, the Young Bucks flanking him

“I’ve liked purple and black before the Dark Order existed” Ava snapped.

Kenny grabbed her arm. “Let go!”

“I just want what’s best for you” Kenny said fiercely

“HEY!” Darby Allin hit Kenny with a skateboard.

“She’s said no to you for weeks now, get lost!” He roared, Ava seeing why Mox had pretty much adopted him.

Kenny looked panicked and all but ran. The Bucks, glaring at her as the followed

“Thanks” Ava said to Darby. “I hate that fucker”

"Join the club" Darby replied

Later that night after beating Nyla Rose, Ava was celebrating in the ring when Kenny's music hit and The Elite surrounded the ring.

"I really tried to do this in private Ava, baby but you just won't listen to me, you'd rather hang out with those losers instead of being part of The Elite"

“I. Am. Not. Your. Baby!” Ava screamed,.

Kenny stepped in, smirking. “Just accept the date”

The crowd began chanting variations of yes and no.

Then the music of the Dark Order hit, Adam leading the stable to a beat down. Colt tackled Kenny, Adam waving sarcastically at him before going over to Ava, "You okay Darlin?"

"Yeah, fucking asshole. Why won't he leave me alone"

"Ava, Ava!" Kenny panted, "I have a deal for you, since you and the drunk, seem so close lately, Next week….you and Adam against me and Britt Baker. You win, you get a title shot at All Out. You two lose, Cowboy loses his shot, and you go out with me"

Ava looked at Adam, who was clenching his jaw. Anna and Evil Uno nodded their heads.

Ava grabbed a mic. “We accept! And let’s raise the stakes!!! If we win and move on to kick you asses at All Out, you leave me the fuck alone!”

Kenny gulped "Done!"

“I’ll add to that!” Adam yelled. “When I kick your ass, you don’t get to have a rematch as long as I’m champion. Let someone else get an opportunity”

"Deal!" Kenny said cockily "It doesn't matter anyway "You two are gonna lose and when you do...not only will Adam never get a shot at the AEW Championship, Ava...baby...your all mine"

#shai writes #hangman adam page x female oc #Hangman Adam Page #Hangman Page #Adam Page #Kenny Omega

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artificialqueens · 3 years

Text

Gimme Love, 2/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Heyo, yall! Just hope yall are enjoying this fic so far. I worked really hard on it, but so proud. So many times I just wanted to quit it. But I stuck it out!

Major TW for this chapter: Child abuse mentions // mental breakdown // Anxiety // Dementia mentions

2020

I flinched, feeling a hand lightly slap my foot twice. "Wake up, Princess."

I rolled over slightly, blinking as if to clear my vision. Jujubee looked as if she had been awake for hours, looking fresh as fuck in her dressing gown. She must have had a shower hours before because, despite the dry hair, I could smell the mango and papaya soap. Fuck, it smelt so good.

Then there was me; hair wrecked, makeup long expired, body smelling of that typical hangover smell. Like a hospital, except unclean.

I whined like a child, rolled back over on my stomach and buried my face hoping it would stop my head from pounding.

"Nope. Not happened." Jujubee sat down on the bed and shook me.

"What time is it?" I asked with my face still smushed into the pillow.

"It's 2PM." She answered.

That's what got me up. I threw the covers back and went to stand. "Fuck!"

Jujubee grabbed my hand and pulled me back down. "Relax. It's our day off, remember?"

I whined even more, curling up with my head in her lap.

"Not that it makes a difference considering you're always late anyway," Jujubee added as she stroked my unbrushed hair.

"Shut up. I'm the boss. I can do what I want." I mumbled.

"Ah, Brianna Caldwell, you never change." Jujubee quipped. "Only follows the rules whenever it suits her, bosses everyone around - -"

"I do not, you whore. And can you please not speak to me so loud right now?" I pulled myself up and tousled my hair. "I need some shades or something."

I always needed shades when I was hungover, so Jujubee was already prepared. She pulled them from her pocket and handed them over. "Shade up, baby girl."

Life was already so much better with them on.

"But back to the topic at hand, though. Don't you remember the chess boys from high school?" Jujubee spoke a bit quieter now. "You literally bossed them around."

"They let me boss them around 'cause they wanted to sleep with me, Jujubee," I replied, reaching for my phone.

"And, you bossed me around too." Jujubee raised her brows.

"Mmmm, I don't remember that." I hummed, feeling pretty much over the conversation.

It took Jujubee an hour to convince me to get out of bed and clean myself up. After finally getting showered and dressed, we were out of the apartment and already heading to Starbucks.

I could have made my own coffee, but that required effort. And that I wasn't willing to give that day.

We were sitting at a booth in the back, with minimal effort in trying to go incognito. But this was a regular hang out for us. There was no need to worry about our names being shouted out. The baristas eventually learned to just bring our orders to us. It made Jujubee feel bad, but I didn't mind.

The barista, Kyle, came over and put our drinks down on the table.

"I deserve this. I really, really deserve this." I said, already taking a sip of my coffee.

"Congrats on last night. The boss said if you both need a refill, just let me know." Kyle winked. God bless Kyle. "So, When's the launch day?"

"Kyle, as charming as you are, you'll just have to wait like everybody else." I tried my best to beam a smile.

"Alright. Enjoy, ladies." And Kyle walked away.

Jujubee let her eyes follow for a moment longer. I know she was literally staring at nothing in particular, but I decided to have a bit of fun. "Go ask him out, Juju."

"Girl, you ask him out," Jujubee smirked. "I'm happy enough being a crazy cat lady. I don't need no man."

I knew it was a joke. Jujubee wasn't the type to encourage me to find someone. It was like she knew how it could bother me.

Despite liking the single life, I kind of did like the sound of being with someone. Maybe it was the fear of the past that stopped me from pursuing a relationship. I had a few girlfriends in the past. But they hadn't lasted long. I was afraid they would have somehow found out about my past self. Because, once upon a time, nobody would've even dared think of me as an attractive, promiscuous, alluring, single female.

But now that I had the glow-up of the century, dyed my hair blonde, I had quite a lot of admirers. It only really started to occur when NASA began sponsoring the project, bringing more traction.

My phone started ringing, but I paid no heed.

Jujubee, however, almost dropped her drink.

"Girl, why is Ed Sheeran calling you?" Jujubee raised a brow.

And as soon as the name met my ears, I was reminded of the night before. "Oh, God." I held my head in my hands.

"What did you do?" Jujubee was already groaning.

"I fucked up," I answered.

"You didn't have a quicky with him or something, right?" Jujubee questioned further.

I lifted my head, looking at her with squinted eyes. "What? No. Ew. Juju." I sipped my coffee before bearing the news. "OK, so...I don't know why I did it, maybe 'cause I'm a mess when I'm drunk, but I…" I lowered my tone, "kinda offered him the chance to be the first person to go into the other world."

"What?? I thought we were gonna do that!" Jujubee was freaking out.

"I know. I fucked up."

"Well, call him back."

"And, tell him what? 'Sorry, Ed. Jk'?"

Jujubee's forehead was in her hands, "I was really excited." She whined.

As I said before, this meant a lot to us. We hadn't discussed it with the team yet, but Jujubee and I had privately planned that we'd be first to enter the other world. So you could understand this was incredibly disappointing for her.

"OK. How about this? Ed will go in for 5 minutes. After that, we bring him back to Earth. And then we fly off by ourselves?" I suggested.

"I was looking forward to the pink sky. And the flying horses. And the…"

Jujubee went on a ramble as my phone began to ring again. I picked it up, letting it ring for a few seconds before declining Ed Sheeran's call.

I checked if there were any texts from him. Nada. But there was one message that caught my attention. The memory of reading it the previous night came flooding back.

Jujubee was still rambling, but I put my phone down and leaned across the table slightly. "Juju, do you remember Blair St Clair?"

Jujubee's expression changed instantaneously. "Girl, of course, I do. You were in love with her for years."

"Oh my God, can you whisper, please?" I questioned, the desperation in my voice very much apparent.

"Brianna, she's back in Ohio. We're in New York. I don't think anyone's gonna go and tell."

"You never know," I briefly looked behind me for fear that somehow the world decided to shit on my luck and make her appear in the booth behind me.

"Girl, chill out. And yes, I do remember her." Jujubee replied, "you know something that always stuck with me? Please don't ask why, but I'll never forget the day you told me you were in love with her. You came out to me that day too."

-_-_-_-

1995

"Juju, I gotta tell you something," I said, throwing my doll to the side of the fort. If I didn't tell her the truth now, I never would.

"What is it?" Jujubee sounded scared.

I crossed my legs in a pretzel shape, straightened my back and declared, "Juju, I like girls. And Blair St Clair is the girl I'm in love with."

I was expecting amazement, awe, shock. But Jujubee just seemed confused.

"What? How is that possible?" She asked.

"You promise you can keep a secret?" I offered my pinky.

Jujubee joined hers with mine. "Of course I can."

"OK." Our fingers remained twisted around each other. "Well, I saw two ladies in the mall kissing. And my Mommy told me girls can like girls. And I had an a-piffa-tree. The reason I like Blair so much is because I'm in love with her!"

"Brie-Brie, you need to slow down." Jujubee put her hand up. "If girls can like girls, then how come we never see girls kissing girls? It's always boys and girls."

"I don't know."

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

"Nope."

"Then, how are you sure?"

"I don't know. You ever get that weird feeling inside that tells you that you're right? I can feel it. I know I'm not lying."

"Wooow." Jujubee looked away briefly. "Does that mean you like me?"

"I don't know. You're my friend, Juju." I shrugged. "I mean, maybe we should kiss just to figure it out."

Juju looked like she was contemplating this for a moment before nodding her head and sitting up. "OK!"

I didn't even hesitate. Instead, I moved closer and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Ew!" We both pulled away.

We both agreed to never do that again, nor ever speak of it.

As if nothing had happened, we continued on playing with our dolls for another hour before the rain came out.

I walked Jujubee home, feeling very much like 'the big girl' being all responsible.

And in walking back to my own place, wrapping my arms around myself, I saw Blair - walking alone, drenched from head to toe.

"Blair!" I ran towards her.

She turned to look at me, her face scrunched up, trying to see through the downpour.

Call it instinct, but I knew something was up, just from how she was looking at me. I put my hands on her shoulders. "What's wrong?? Are you OK?"

"I'm lost. I-I'm trying to find my way home." She said quietly.

"What. How did you - -" I stopped myself from talking any further. Instead, I took Blair by the hand and pulled her towards the bus shelter off to the side of the road.

We both sat down when we got inside. She was shaking, close to catching a cold in the awful weather. Not to mention she had no jacket on. So I pulled my arm out of its sleeve and draped half of the coat over her.

"What happened to your coat?" I asked

"I didn't bring it." She replied.

"Why not? It's cold. You're going to get sick."

"I'm sorry. I just...ran."

I was silent for a moment. Then, "What do you mean?"

She was also silent for a moment, her blue eyes drifting to the ground. "Brianna...is it normal for Daddies to shout real loud all the time? Do they smash things a lot?"

No. It was not expected. I may not have had a Father figure in my life, but I knew well enough. "Blair, what happened?"

Blair clenched her fist around the jacket. "My Daddy...he…"

Despite her timid voice trailing off, I understood. She didn't even need to say it. "Do you have somewhere to go?"

She lifted her eyes to me, "I need to get home. I just ran as fast as I could. And somehow ended up here. I don't know my way back."

"I don't think you should go back," I admitted.

"I have to. Or he'll be even more mad."

I was wracking my brain. There was no way I could let her go back. "OK. Is there somewhere you can stay for a while? Somewhere close?"

"No." Blair shook her head. "Wait. Yeah. My Granny lives somewhere around here." She looked at me with optimism in her eyes.

"That's great! I know this place like the back of my hand. I bet I can find it in a few seconds."

After sitting for 10 more minutes, the rain was starting to settle, so Blair gave me the address, and off we went. I carried her bag for her. She was probably exhausted from all the walking.

All the while, I just listened as she talked about many things - Madonna, her Princess Belle doll, how Jade from school actually picked her nose when no one was looking. So many different topics. And I didn't speak a word. I guess I was just so...astonished. Here I was, walking along in a light rainstorm, hanging out with the prettiest girl in my class. How was this possible? Was this real life?

"You've been really quiet." Blair pointed out.

"Yeah, I just can't believe you're talking to me. What the fuck?" Yes, I said that.

Blair laughed at my potty mouth. "Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

I shrugged. "Well, I don't know. Maybe 'cause no one likes me."

Blair stopped in her tracks for a moment. "I like you."

I stopped, spun around, and looked at her with wide eyes. There was no way I heard her say those words. No fucking way.

"Come on. I know where we are now. Granny's house is around the corner." Blair began to move again.

But the butterflies in my stomach were going wild. I felt warm and wanted to just hug her. But I also didn't want to alarm her. Baby steps, Brianna.

I walked Blair to the house. Her Granny came to the door and was obviously quite confused. And Blair began to cry again.

I wanted to turn and run, feeling very out of place. But Blair grabbed me before I could leave and pulled me into a hug. She pressed her tear-stained face against my shoulder and whispered, "Thank you, Brie."

"I gotta go."

I pulled out of the hug and ran as fast I could. I don't know if I left her standing there confused or if she just knew by then it was just a me thing to be awkward.

But my mind was racing; Blair liked me. I knew not in the same way as I liked her. But, surely, that meant we could be friends.

Oh, how naive I was.

A few weeks later, it was the beginning of Summer. Mom took me to the park, and there was Blair with her friends.

I ran across the grass to the picnic blanket they were all sitting at.

"Blair!" I called excitedly. I practically threw myself down next to her, giving her a tight hug.

"Ew." Jade laughed.

"Shut up, Jade." Blair snapped.

"Are you friends with the freak now or something?" Carmen questioned, inching away from me.

"I'm not a freak!" I shouted.

"Uh, yeah, you are," Serena added. "We don't want freaks in our friend group. Go on. Get lost."

"Girls - -" Blair tried.

"You wanna join her?" Jade pointed her gaze at Blair, her face scrunched up in disgust.

I was waiting for it; The big 'fuck you' as Blair stood up, took my hand and walked away.

But she remained seated. Her eyes trailed down to the ground. I tried shaking her shoulder.

"Blair?" I spoke quietly.

She didn't say a word. It was as if she had turned to stone.

My body felt cold.

"See? She doesn't like ugly people like you. No one does." Jade smirked.

I remember the moment being more intense than it actually was. Because in a matter of seconds, the girls were screaming as I began to punch Jade in her bitchy face. I couldn't punch for shit. But if it left a bruise, I was happy.

"Brianna!" I heard my Mom's voice. Her dark arms wrapped around me, pulling me away from the now crying Jade. "We are going home right now." Mom threatened. But I didn't care.

From being dragged away from the fight scene all the way until we got home, I screamed.

Mom screamed back for a while when we were in the car. But you can't fight fire with fire. So she stopped when we pulled up.

I got in, I beat the fuck out of every object that came into my line of vision. And my shouting never stopped.

"No one wants you, ugly freak!" I smashed a vase. "Worthless piece of trash!"

Mom had been chasing me all over the house, trying to calm me down. But this wasn't like any tantrum I had ever had, and as Mom had no idea what was actually going on, she had no idea what to do.

She eventually scooped me up in her arms and held me tight as she sat on the ground. I screamed as I tried to fight off her grasp, downing out all her hushed whispers. "I got you, Baby. I got you. Mommy's here."

My screams did go on for another while, but as soon as they ended, all I could say to Mom was, "I should give up. Blair will never be my friend. I'm too ugly."

Mom stood me up, so she knew I was looking directly into her eyes. She pointed a finger in my face and spoke with a cracked but stern tone. "Don't say that. Never ever say that. You are so beautiful, and no one has the right to tell you that you're not. I want you to go look in the mirror, really, really look at yourself, Brianna. And I want you to see how pretty you are. Look at your hair, your brown eyes, your freckles. You are just as pretty as everyone else, girl. You are not ugly."

I squeezed my fists, feeling the hard lump in my throat. "Then why did my Mommy and Daddy give me away?"

Mom was stunned for a moment. She took my hand. "Baby, that had nothing to do with how you look. They…" she paused, trying to find the right words to use, "they just…" another pause, "look, I'll tell you when you're older. But I promise you are not ugly."

I couldn't hold on anymore. I let out a pained cry and immediately threw myself into her arms and buried my face in her shoulder.

-_-_-_-

2020

That was my first major emotional breakdown, marking the beginning of many more to come. But, unfortunately, Mom didn't want to immediately get me help. She had a feeling it would upset me further. And she was right.

Just as I had begun middle school, I had another huge episode. That was it. There had been too many episodes throughout those years.

You can try covering a crack in the wall with a pretty picture, but the problem would never go away, would it?

I couldn't stand therapy. Why was I the one to work on my emotions when I only felt the way I did because kids were assholes? Where were all the breathing exercises and meditation sessions to make them not be dicks?

But as much as I hated it, the older I got, I opened my eyes. What I hated the most was seeing the pain I was putting Mom through. So I really tried hard not to freak out.

I didn't want to upset Mom anymore. She really did her best. And to this day, I wouldn't change her for the world.

"We're here."

I was brought out of my thoughts as the cab pulled over. I had been so gone, just sitting in the backseat, staring at the magenta glass vase in my hands.

"Keep the change," I replied, handing the driver the money and thanking him as I got out.

He took my suitcase from the trunk and left it by my side. And with a goodbye, he drove off.

Standing at the bottom of the lawn, I looked at the house. Fuck, once upon a time, I wouldn't have been so in love with its appearance. I had no idea what my Mom was going for with the multiple colours. The outside was painted pastel yellow with a sky blue door and pink frame. Then there were the various flowerpots stuck onto the wall next to the door. All different colours; pink, green, orange or blue.

OK, I lied; as a kid, I fucking loved our house. Everyone else's was boring. But when high school rolled around, people would whisper how I was "the weird hippie chick from the rainbow crack house". So, you can understand why it quickly became an eyesore for me.

I knocked on the front door, feeling the excitement bubble within me. I had been so busy with the project, it was a few months since I last saw her in person. I glanced at the vase in my hand, the perfect Birthday gift. It was perfect because I got her a new one every year. Because I never got over the guilt from smashing her favourite vase as a child. This act was to make a point - to show that no matter how much I apologised, I was always sorry, and would always be.

I knocked again. There was only a barking behind the door. Good to know someone was in.

I still had my own key. No point in standing outside all day. I made my own way in, knowing I could just surprise her later.

"Hi, baby!" I spoke in a hushed tone as Piggie started to jump around excitedly. Fuck, I missed him so much.

I closed the door and knelt down next to the pug, bringing him into a hug and kissing him on the head. "You good boy," I said in between kisses, "Let's get you some food."

Standing back up, I made my way to the kitchen, and Piggie was only happy to follow. I still remembered where his food was kept, so I poured him a bowl. Then, while he was distracted, I took my suitcase up the stairs and into my old bedroom.

Fuck, there was always something so surreal about walking into it. I hadn't lived at home since before I went to college. From that moment on, Jujubee and I always had our own places. And now, I had my apartment in New York.

Meaning, the last time I had redecorated was years before my glow up (in personality and looks). The walls were pink, I remember them being a pretty pastel tone, but they looked duller now. Above my bed, the wall was littered with posters, writing and photos. I made eye contact with Reese Witherspoon on the Legally Blonde poster, remembering how I always wanted to be like her. Funny how I kind of did achieve that.

I realised I was just standing in the doorway, just staring. So, I sat the suitcase against my desk and went to lie down. I smirked as I found all 5'5" of my whole being still fit into it.

I took out my phone and snapped a picture of myself to Jujubee, the caption reading 'Hey, babe, my parents are out?￰ 😉😉 come over?'.

While waiting for her reply, I changed my pencil skirt and blouse, choosing to wear leggings and a tank instead. Suddenly, I felt 10 years younger.

An hour passed, and Mom was still nowhere to be seen.

"Maybe she's at work. Does she have a job?" Jujubee asked me through the phone.

"I... don't know, Juju," I murmured, my attention not really on the question but on the contents of the fridge.

There was a punnet of strawberries. I helped myself to a few.

"When was the last time you spoke to her? Seriously, Brie, I'm getting so nervous." Jujubee sounded concerned. I knew her mind was thinking of the worst. And oddly enough, I found it to be entertaining.

"A few months back, actually," I smirked. "She's been real quiet, to be honest." Piggie was at my feet, looking for one of the juicy strawberries. I shook my head at him.

"Oh God, no. Did you check every room? Talk to the neighbours?"

"Oh, fuck! Juju. My God, there's a head in the fridge!" I feigned terror.

"Brianna!"

"Relax. I'm fucking with you. I spoke to her last night." I took one more strawberry. Biting into it, the juice dripped down my fingers and onto the ground. Piggie was beyond happy now, licking it up. I let him be and made my way out of the kitchen.

"That's not funny, Brianna. Don't joke about that. I thought she was missing or...worse."

"Fair enough. Sorry, girl. Anyway, how's work today?" I walked into the living room and sat on the couch.

"Good, good. Ed Sheeran's team finally got in touch," Jujubee said with a hint of disdain.

I held my forehead in one hand, wanting to punch myself for even speaking to him the week before.

I groaned, "See, this is why I should stop drinking."

"Well, to be fair, you don't drink as much as you did back in college. But when you do, you go hard."

Jujubee continued talking, lecturing me about my life choices when I moved my foot and felt it touch something under the couch. It startled me at first, but I pulled out the item.

A slipper. Grandpa's slipper. Sitting back on the couch again, letting my eyes just stare at it. "Hey, Juju. I'm gonna go."

There was a sigh on the other end. "Fine. Not like I was talking about anything important or whatever."

"Sorry," I said quietly.

"Don't worry. I still love you, whore." She said.

"Of course you do."

I made a nasty kissing sound through the phone. She was grossed out, of course, and hung up. I chuckled for a moment and put my phone away.

Piggie came into the room and jumped up on the sofa next to me. I began to pet him, my eyes now back on the shoe.

Grandpa wore his slippers more than he wore regular shoes. Every time he found out Mom had put them in the wash, he would be furious. I would always listen to him ranting and wonder why men were gross. But I'd also laugh at how he threw his hands up in the air in frustration.

There was one time, in particular. He had gotten mad for the same reason. He huffed and came into the living room, sitting down on the couch, in the very seat I currently was sitting. He was shaking his head, just looking at the TV.

I shuffled closer to him and offered a few potato chips. His frown was immediately reversed. His smile had never seemed brighter. He took a few chips and asked with a full mouth, "Hey, kiddo. Aren't you late for school?"

It was 2PM. On a Saturday.

My smile was beginning to fade, my eyes still focused on the slipper. I could feel it - a familiar twisting feeling from somewhere within my stomach, the oxygen in my lungs seeming to fail me, a tremble taking my hands over.

And then, Piggie licking my arm.

I flinched slightly as I was brought back to the present. I smiled, petting Piggie. "Where would I be without you, baby?"

Piggie didn't answer, of course. Instead, he just licked my hand, which was enough for me to chill out.

I put Grandpa's shoe back under the couch, now inspired to search more of the house. But before I got off the couch, I checked my phone. Jujubee had Snapchatted me.

Clicking into it, I froze for a moment. She was in her bathroom, the shower running behind her. I wanted to say she was the main element to the picture, cocking her head to the side, pouting her lips and raising a brow. Despite the fact Jujubee never sent me pictures like this, it wasn't the first time I had seen her in her lingerie, though. But, I couldn't help but glance at her black lacey bra. The breath was caught in my throat for a moment.

The text read, 'You OK, babe?'

Around middle school, Jujubee developed this 6th sense, knowing when something was up with me. It was impressive.

I lifted my phone up high, took a picture and made sure to get Piggie in the frame. He wasn't looking, however.

"Piggie." He was looking now. I smiled and took the picture. I captioned it, 'Just hanging out with this one'.

I hit send. And now filled with inspiration to go on a nostalgia trip, I got up from the sofa and went off to explore. I called Piggie to follow.

I found myself upstairs, standing in the doorway of Mom's room. It felt rude to intrude. After all, a bedroom wasn't just a bedroom. It was a sanctuary, a place to be yourself, to carry out your own private rituals free from judgement, a happy place. So it felt like an intrusion to invade her space.

But I spotted the perfume bottles on her dresser. There was one bottle, in particular, a fragrance she always bought. It was her favourite - a musky scent with a hint of amber vanilla.

I couldn't resist. I made my way to the dresser, lifted the bottle and smelt the underside of the lid. Immediately, I felt my body relax. It smelled just like her. And there was no smell sweeter than the smell of your own Mother. It felt safe, loving, warm. Now, I was even more excited to see her again.

That was as far as I'd go into her room. So I put the perfume back, ushered Piggie to get down from her bed and left.

I was back in my old bedroom. I wanted this nostalgia trip to be unlike any other. So I knew exactly where I'd find it. I looked in the drawers of my desk. And in the very bottom drawer, I found it; my old diary.

"This is going to be wild, Piggie. I just know it." I smirked, sitting down on my bed, my back against the headboard. Piggie curled up beside me. We were both sitting comfortably. So I began.

'Dear Dairy'

Already, I had to pause and laugh. 7 year old me would have been a legend in a spelling bee.

'Today, I had a fight with Jujubee. She really upset me, but I upset her too. I should say sorry. That's all. Bye.'

Short and sweet, child me didn't beat around the bush. She just gave you the information you needed. That was it.

I flicked a few pages forward.

'Dear Diary,

I had another fight with Jujubee. I really don't want to upset her. But sometimes I get so angry, I don't know what to do. I lost a tooth today too. So I am going to leave a note to the tooth fairy. I want her to take all my anger from me instead of my tooth. I hope it works.'

I remembered that. I had gotten mad because we were playing house. I wanted Jujubee to be both the parents, and I'd be the two kids. She didn't want to. She wanted to play the part of a child too. I freaked out, of course. I specifically remembered telling her she'd do it if she cared about me. She said she did care. But in the heat of the moment, I didn't believe her.

"God, I was such a brat," I spoke quietly.

I skipped some pages, unsure of what I was to find. And seeing one specific name, I stopped flicking through.

'Dear Blair,

You are like the sunshine. You are…'

I stopped reading, cringing at my child self. Was this before I realised it was a crush or not? What was hilarious about this entry was how damn long it was. All other accounts were short and straight to the point. But this? It went on for 3 pages. I bet my younger self felt mega proud about writing so much. But now, I felt the need to build a fucking time machine, go back to that moment and tell little Brianna, "Guess what? Nothing happens. Blair never becomes your friend. She never feels the same way about you the way you feel about her, so stop before you make it worse for yourself!"

I decided I was taking this diary back to New York. I needed to investigate it more. And there were probably some accounts that Jujubee would cackle laughing at.

My nostalgia trip wasn't at its peak just yet. I needed something that would just send me over the edge of happiness. And I knew I'd probably find that in my memory box. But there was a problem. I had given it to my Mom, asking her to hide it away somewhere. And whenever I wanted to put something into it, I'd give it to her, and she'd hide it for me.

And I made her promise to only give it back to me when I turned 50. No matter how much I cried and begged, she could not break that promise. Young me knew one day I'd be on a one way trip down memory lane.

I was so tempted to find the box. Surely, it couldn't have been too hard to find. But Piggie growled for a moment, his ears perking up. He looked at the window and started barking. I was now aware of the sound of a car's engine. A familiar one at that.

Finally, Mom was home.

I peaked out the window to see she was grabbing her bag from the car.

Piggie and I raced down the stairs, taking the vase from the living room and waiting excitedly at the door.

Funny how with excitement there came a level of anxiety, the tiniest hint of fear bubbling in your stomach. And I felt it all as soon as I heard the jiggling of the key.

The door opened slowly as if she already knew something was unusual about the place like she was bracing herself for whatever she was going to find.

She peeked around the door. My smile was beaming.

"Happy Birthday!" I shouted.

"Jesus Christ!" Mom flinched, almost falling back and stamping on the ground. Piggie was going wild now, barking from all the excitement. "Brianna, you could have given me a heart attack!" She shut the door and clasped a hand to her chest.

I laughed at her over-the-top reaction and held out the vase. "I got you another one."

Mom looked at me, still panting from her shock. She was silent for a moment, and in that silence, I realised how much I had missed her.

Mom stepped forward, took the vase and put it to the side. As she pulled me into a tight hug, I could see her face scrunching up.

There are two people of people; those who can't stand seeing their Moms cry. And fucking liars.

Of course, I belonged to the first group. As you know, I…

Well, you already know. Here, let me put in a fun diagram of things I didn't want to deal with at that moment.

"Don't ever scare me like that again, you bitch." Mom spoke softly in my ear as she cried.

"I couldn't help myself." I forced a smile.

As much as I hated seeing her cry, I knew she needed it. Me being the only child she ever had, it broke her heart when I moved out in the first place. I'd imagine it was tough now that she was alone.

Yeah, she had Piggie. But it obviously wasn't enough. So I let her cry it out as she hugged me. I could smell the perfume, and again, I felt that safety, the security a Mother's love brings.

When she pulled away, she immediately moved to the kitchen, already brewing some tea. I let her know that I didn't mind if she had to go upstairs and change or anything. But she insisted we get into the catch-up.

"I invited some people from work to come over later. You remember the flower shop beside the old church?" Mom rambled, her shaking hands pouring the tea into two mugs.

"Of course I do," I answered, sitting at the table, with Piggie in my lap.

"Yeah, I work there now." Mom replied.

I felt bad. This shouldn't have been news. It was my part to already know that.

Mom sat at the table, placing the mugs down too. Piggie's attention was drawn to them, licking his lips with thirst.

"So I hope you're not jet-lagged, girl." The excitement was practically radiating from her face.

I was a bit exhausted, but she deserved to have a great night. "I'm good. Don't worry."

"Oh, and your aunt is coming." She added, sipping her tea.

"Aunt Monét! Yes, bitch."

It had been a very, very long time since I last saw Monét. She knew how to turn a party. And she was always so glamorous. I remember numerous times as a child asking her to teach me her ways, be my mentor, so I could grow up to look as good as she did.

"So, it's gonna be a long night. Be prepared." Mom said.

"So, it's a party?"

"Not my plan, but knowing Monét, that's how it will turn out. Anyway, I saw pictures from the event last week. You looked great up on that stage, baby. Keep doing me proud."

I gave her a gracious smile as I sipped my tea. A small drop fell onto my lap. Piggie was searching for it, but it had already soaked in. Sorry, Piggie.

"Yeah, I kinda fucked up, though," I said, playing with one of the dog's ears.

"'Fuck’ always has been your favourite word," Mom shook her head, "Go ahead. Tell me, what did you do?"

"So at the after-party, I kinda offered Ed Sheeran to be the first person to go through. Please don't ask me why. The answer is; I was drunk. I don't have a more logical explanation for you right now."

Mom was silent for a moment, her eyes narrowing. "Ed Sheeran? Why him?"

"I told you, I have no idea." I sipped my tea. "I'm just a fucking idiot when I'm drunk."

"So, what now? Is he actually going to do it?"

"Yep. His team got in contact. Everything is set in stone." I was ashamed of the whole Ed Sheeran thing, but now telling this to my Mother, it felt all the more embarrassing.

"Oh, God. This is going in history books, girl." Mom held her forehead in her hand.

"I know," I reciprocated. "Even worse, now they're asking the big questions like 'is the atmosphere safe on the other side?' We're still in the middle of working all that out."

"OK, asides from the Ed Sheeran fuck up," Mom put her hand on mine, "I am extremely proud of how far you've come since you were just a kid."

Uh oh. This wasn't what I wanted.

"And I know you're so busy with this whole thing, but sometimes, I just wish you'd call."

Fuck. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, no. I don't wanna make you feel bad, girl. Like I said, you're a busy lady." She held a hand up.

But still, I felt bad.

"Shit. I was supposed to pick up some lemonade on the way home." Mom stood up, taking her tea with her. She had barely touched it.

"I could go to the store if you want," I suggested, taking a big gulp of tea.

"I mean, if you wanna, go for it. Tina still works there. It would be nice to see her again." Mom continued. She reached in her pocket.

I kissed Piggie on the head before putting him on the ground. "It's OK. I got it." I stood up from the table.

We had a bit of back and forth about who paid. I left before she could even give me her spare change.

Before I walked out the door, Piggie looked sad to see me go. Of course, I was coming back, but he didn't know that. Therefore I felt guilty.

I put my sunglasses on as I walked out the door. It wasn't even sunny out, but I knew I'd probably get stopped by people I used to know to dive deep into conversations about how far I had come. I had things on my mind, so many thoughts circling in my head.

I knew I should have put more effort into staying in contact with Mom. But after years of putting her through hell, I felt a sense of guilt. There were a few times I'd message, and somehow the conversation would take a turn, and she'd bring up a childhood memory.

I was done with my past. I was once a troubled child who eventually grew up to have a better mindset. I didn't want to relay the breakdowns, all of the vases I had smashed.

Then I realised how much of a contradiction that all was as I realised it was all that was on my mind as I walked down the street. So I plugged in my earbuds and drowned out the thoughts with whatever Spotify had to offer.

#rpdr fanfiction #s10 #as5 #miz cracker #jujubee #blair st clair #bob the drag queen #blair x cracker #fluff #coming of age #hurt/comfort #lesbian au #grinder #concrit welcome #tw breakdown #tw child abuse mentions #tw dementia mentions

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