#i'm so sick of people being like Well Cats Do Whatever And There's No Stopping It 🤷

[serkonans]

some cat owners are fucking ridiculous

[the-s1lly-corner]

Loving the digital circus content! Digital crew x tiger!reader. The are basically a tiger that can walk on two feet and talk but can still run on all fours. Their suppose to do tricks like jump through rings of fire or so super cute tricks for entertaining people. But they have a dark sense of humor and a temper. Not wanting to be there. Their kind to others who treat them nice tho. Ex: Jax makes a poor joke or tries to mess with them expect one of another crew members turn the corner to see Jax neck in between their razor sharp teeth with a nervous smile. “Heh guess they don’t like jokes.”

TADC cast x feisty!tiger!reader

...is feisty the right word..? I dont think so but I'm drawing blanks

This one may be a little all over the place and this isnt exactly written with romantic stuff in mine !! Hope that's alright anon !!

Side thing I just noticed the anon icons have shades

That's so cute

CAINE:

Honestly I think he would constantly compliment your stripes! Thinks they look cool..... and given that hes a ringmaster, hes definitely going to be using you for circus acts... sure you're not a lion, but hey, beggars cant be choosers. As for your humor, I'm a little stumped on whether or not he would enjoy it... I think it would depend on the joke!

Would kind of just stand there watching you bite jax. Kind of just

Strolls off while whistling, pretending he didnt see anything

Likes calling you "spitfire" thanks to your personality as well as the whole fire loop trick

POMNI:

I mean, you're a big cat. And also physically large, probably. You're fast and you're agile. Pomni understands that in reality youre a person and this is your digital body, but shes still getting used to this world. Obviously very wary around you, and I don't think shes an enjoyer of your little jokes. Probably has a genuine freak out if she walks in on the jax thing. Like actual genuine fear

Does not enjoy your temper either, I think she may avoid you tbh. Like she would still be polite but. You know?

RAGATHA:

Probably also not a fan of your temper and sense of humor, but since this is ragatha we're talking about shes still going to be as nice to you as she can be and include you in things. probably one of the one of the only people to actually try to fet you to back off of jax. Purely basing this on her intro thing where she literally shrugs off an axe to a face. Ragatha has balls of steal and a few bites arent going to stop her, I think

Polite to you but I also dont think you guys would be close

JAX:

Honestly jax looks like he would make a squeaky toy noise while you bite him. Jax being jax, hes going to antagonize you. Probably calls you "kitty". Does the 'pspsps" and "here kitty kitty *Pat's thighs*" thing when hes trying to get your attention

Sure you biting him cant kill him or leave any real damage, but it's definitely not comfortable

Is a dark humor enjoyer though so at least you guys share that in common

KINGER:

Attends some of the little shows you and Caine put on. Claps very loudly and probably very cartoonishly since hes not bound to.. well having arms..! Your sense of humor does freak him out, though, since hes scared that one day you're going to get sick and tired of this digital world and start a rampage... I mean you've already demonstrated you're more than willing to be aggressive

Overly polite to you, trying to make sure he stays on your good side. Squeaks and runs off when he walks in on you biting jax

ZOOBLE:

You dont mess with them, they dont mess with you. You guys kind of just stay in your own lanes. Does enjoy some of your dark humor. Also likes your stripes, they think they look nice! Maybe they start wearing striped limbs more often!

I know I'm leaning heavily on the jax biting thing but I think if they walked in on you biting jax they would huffed out an amused but short laugh before carrying on with whatever they were doing

GANGLE:

You know how gangle covers her mouth when zooble is taken apart by the gloinks? She does that when she sees jax in your teeth

Vefy very intimidated by you.. but also.. has a weird crush on you.. maybe I'm self projecting on gangle, a lot, but so far I've said that gangle is into:

Mysterious broody guys

Monsters

Gentlemen

And now, big strong intimidating folk

She just like me frfr

Like would she be weird or straight forward with her crush on you? Hell no. Is she good at hiding it? No not really. So.. I guess her snd Caine are the only two that have the potential for romance..

Honestly gets a crumb of satisfaction with you biting jax, given how much he messes with her. Does feel bad about feeling satisfaction

[danikamariewrites]

can i please request a dark azriel x dark reader where she is a serial killer and he is one aswell. Reader is a huge fan of azriels work, so much so that she recreates his murders. It gets his attention bc he’s like

” huh? didn’t I already so this last week? ”

but it’s reader and she’ll do whatever it takes for him to notice her. Her stomach flips when she hears there is a new murder from her friends. She is so inlove with his style and grace. Her eyes sparkle and her heart beats fast when she witnesses his crimescenes. The style, the execution, the precision, the flaunt. She has to have him. She doesn’t care what it takes, he’ll love her no matter what. Neither one of them knows the identity of eachother, they just know eachother as fellow killers. Azriel knows someone is recreating his kills when he is asked to investigate another scene he already did. He comes up with a plan to catch whoever it is and to kill them before it raisea anymore questions. He finally catches reader after laying a trap, he takes of her mask and is shocked to see madjas righthand healer. No wonder he could never figure out who was murdering people. Reader covered up her tracks in a scientific way. She pulls his mask of too and they just stare at eachother.

”…”

”…”

"well this is new."

" out of all people, i'd never assume it was you."

" i’ll take that as a compliment azriel"

" you do that sweetheart. do you wanna team up instead? I was going to kill you actually, but i'm so happy it's you."

” god i’ve waited so long for this moment, the fact that it’s you makes it all so much better. And we’re together now. Idc what you say az, i’m not letting you go that easily, i don’t care if i have to lock you up. You belong to me now.”

” I could say the same for you, i’ve finally found someone to share my life with. Id you think i’m seriously letting you leave me then you’re insane. ”

😍 and they say romance is dead

The Killer

Azriel x reader

A/n: this is perfect anon I hope you like it 😊

Warnings: murder, death, slightly nsfw at the end

Azriel was sick of this copy-cat killer. He was going crazy over these murders. It didn’t seem like they were going to stop any time soon either.

He was going to catch the male responsible. These were Azriel’s murders, done in a precise and personal manner. And he’d be damned if this kept going on.

They always struck precisely a week after Azriel did. And Az knew exactly where this killer was going to strike tonight.

—

You crept through the shadows up to the warehouse side entrance. Pulling down your mask, making sure the ends of your long hair were concealed, you quietly pushed the metal door open.

On silent feet you made your way to the guard station. You were hoping that tonight was the night Azriel

You knew how he killed. What his MO is. You’ve studied the bodies he’s cut up and maimed with Madja. Being a healer gave you a steady hand making it easy to recreate the murders. Though you it was hard to capture his graceful slashes, you tried your best.You prayed that it was enough to get his attention.

You knew the details would drive him wild. That he couldn’t resist not knowing who was behind this. You were always at the crime scenes after the body was discovered. Azriel would be there too and you could feel the pride coming off him. You could see how pleased he was with his work.

When it came to your crime scenes however, you could feel his frustration and confusion. When you turned your back on the Shadow Singer and General you’d smirk to yourself. Knowing Azriel was one step closer to being yours.

Approaching the guard station you crouch and poke your head around the corner. To your shock and surprise the guard was already bound and gagged on a chair in the middle of the room. He was struggling against the tight binds. The male spotted you and stopped. Looking at you with wet pleading eyes.

Tilting your head you stand, cautiously walking over to him. “Curious. Who got to you already?” Stopping a few feet away you sense movement behind you. Looking over your shoulder you swear the shadows move.

Just as you had hoped, Azriel stepped out of the shadows. He’s just so dark and dreamy. His tall frame towered over you as he strode over to you, his large wings flaring slightly to intimidate you.

You didn’t cower from him. You stood tall facing him. Azriel gripped the back of your neck pulling you almost flush to his chest.

You didn’t say a word as he ripped your mask from your face to reveal your devilish smirk, a wicked glint in your eyes at the look of realization in Azriel’s eyes. “I’m-I…I didn’t know you had it in you sweetheart.” A smirk slowly spreading across his lips. “Hi Azzy.”

“We’re you doing this for my attention?” His voice was deep and dripping with male pride. “Took you long enough.” You pushed closer to Azriel so you were chest to chest. Your arms wrapping around his neck. The Shadowsinger complied, nuzzling his nose against yours.

“Before I knew it was you I was going to kill you and this male. But now I wanna see you in action.” Your smile widened and Azriel dropped his head to your neck, nipping and licking at your pulse point making your heart beat faster.

Azriel lifts his face to your pointed ear, his heavy breath tickling your skin. “What do you say we team up from now on, hmm?” You swear you died and went to heaven in that moment. “Yes, gods yes.” You pulled his face to yours for a kiss. You bite his lower lip with a small giggle.

“You’re mine sweetheart. I’m never gunna let you go. There’s no running from me, we’re going to have forever together.” You pulled him into for a real kiss this time. Heated and full of the pent up love you have for him. It was desperate. You grabbed at each other practically crawling into his skin.

Azriel pulled away, turning you so your back is against his chest, holding your jaw gently. You both stare at the guard who’s now panicking again. “Let’s take care of him. Then, I’m going to take you home and take my time with you sweetheart.”

You moaned, grinding your ass against his cock. “Yes Az. I’m yours forever and your mine. You’re never ever going to get rid of me.” Your nails dig in hard to his arms, attempting to leave the first of many marks on him.

Azriel lets go of you landing a smack on your ass. “Go ahead sweetheart, you can go first.”

[spurgie-cousin]

on top of being really sick and stuck in the house, we found out my oldest cat has thyroid disease 🫤 which we've been trying to treat for a few weeks but it's just not going well so I'm trying to be positive but also mentally prepare myself for losing the first pet I ever had as an adult and ugh. I've kind of been a wreck lately esp the last few days (doesn't help that my period is right around the corner and at this time on a good day I'm crying at Aflac commercials).

it seems like it it's been that way for a lot of people though, idk what the stars or planets or whatever are doing but if they wanna stop that'd be cooooool

[thorns-and-rosewings]

And now here we are at part 9 of the Reaper King AU💀, I know it's been a while since I updated but unfortunately life has a habit of throwing wrenches into plans. Sorry about that...

TW: As usual, disturbing imagery and some sensitive topics being brought up.

-Bloodmoon is just pissed off beyond words which is extremely evident as he grabs Sun and fully prepares to mangle him-

Harper: FREEZE!

-The Bloodtwins barely stop a millimeter from Suns face and cast a very annoyed look back to the park ranger who just walked into a group of cryptids like it was nothing.

Bloodmoon: This is revenge! We want to kill them SOOO bad! Don't interrupt this!

Harper: I'm only interrupting because your dad called; he's coming to see what is going on... And to hold off any killing until he gets here.

-Bloodmoons look of irritation quickly evaporated into one of smugness and he let out some barking laughter as he looked down at the still bound forms of Sun and Moon before him.

Vamp: Ohhh dad's gonna handle you two himself!

Lycan: So you're already dead, hope you have your funeral plans laid out already!

-Moon growls hatefully at the gathering of supernatural creatures before him but his eyes narrow as he looks at Harper with particular malice.

Harper: No, I do my job. I try to keep people alive who come here, but if you're are stupid or just outright unlucky... Well... I gave warnings. Nothing else I can do.

Moon: So... you're working with these freaks?

Banshee: (Chuckles) You're dating our dad too.

Moon: Oh God...

Harper: (Laughs) And of course, that's a major reason why I don't care if stupid people die.

-Wendigo shifts around until he is essentially sitting in a 'cat loaf' position. The massive creature looking over at Bloodmoon and the younger monster kids close to him.

Wendigo: Did Dad hear the call from all the way on the other side of the mountain? I thought that's where he said he was hunting today.

Harper: I don't know if he heard it per say; all I know is that he said that his 'Dadcode Sense' was going off and he was coming to see whatever was going on for himself... I think he's got the most powerful parental instincts there ever were, so I wouldn't question it.

-Wendigo chuckles as this is seemingly agree upon by all of the creatures present.

-As absolutely bizarre as it is for both Sun and Moon to witness... They watch this group of horrifying miscreants, even BLOODMOON, get along. Chatting as casually as if there was nothing weird at all with the situation. Hell Bloody several times even playfully pats at the vampire and werewolf twins. His actions showing no hint of malice; as he truly viewed the entire lot as his family and treated them as such.

-Suns gaze continued drifting to all of the different monsters in front of him. And somehow Sun can see them each as the children they were before they transformed... He doesn't know HOW he is doing this, but the thought that all these kids had their humanity taken from them by Killcode and Bloodmoon somehow nearly makes him sick.

-He suddenly notices that the little blue flame atop Bloodmoons head has a pair of white eyes and is actually watching him. Upon noticing that Sun was looking back at her she floats off... Those white eyes fill with tears and grows larger, roughly the size of a 5 year old and she stands next to Bloodmoon and just... Clings to him... He pats the little girls head and glares malevolently at Sun all over again.

Harper: (Noticing Wisp seeming distressed) Wisp honey, are you alright?

Bloodmoon: The bastards tried to kidnap her. Yet another reason we want them DEAD!

Harper: (Whistles) Wow... Hope dying quickly wasn't your plan because once KC hears that, well... You earned it.

-These words get cruel snickering laughs from the other monsters present.

-Yet this laughter was cut short as the entire area seemed to suddenly become veiled in shadows. A particular patch of darkness started to creep across the ground. Eventually stopping in the very center of this gathering... And then from this seemingly living shadow a massive clawed hand emerged before slowly the rest of the body was pulled out of the darkness...

-Reaper Killcode stood in all of his horrifying glory.

-After a moment there's a movement on his back and it became noticable that The Baby was on his shoulders. Only now she looked far more like a baby animatronic, one that closely resembled a tiny version of KC at this point. She moves from where she had been clinging to him like a little sloth and looks to Harper and extends a tiny clawed hand. While saying 'Mama!'

-The baby's name is now Shinigami. Or Shini for short.

-She is the only one of the Monster Family that truly views Harper as her mom...

-Harper is like the totally chill step-mom who is very respectful of boundaries and has made a massive genuine effort to become friendly with each of KC's kids. So even if she doesn't have any parental status to the kids she is given a certain amount of respect and they all are on good terms with her.

-Even the Bloodtwins and that was a massive life ACHIEVEMENT...

-Harper takes Shinigami into her arms as KCs eyes land on the bound forms of Sun and Moon and he is immediately bombarded with the story from Lycan Vamp and the Bloodtwins. While Wisp didn't say anything she gave a motion that she wanted to be held and KC picked her up and settled her into the crook of his arm.

-Only once he got the entire story did KC slowly approach Sun and Moon while slowly pulling out one of his scythes.

KC: Well well well... Out of all the individuals I never expected, nor wanted to see again... You two were at the top of the list.

-There is a brief conversation, mostly with Moon just snapping at Killcode demanding to know how the hell a whole forest just randomly shows up in there world eight days after he sent Bloodmoon and KC through the portal.

-This reveals that not only did the Monster Family (Their default title) NOT know how their home moved dimensions, but also revealed that eight days in this dimension was actually eight years in the dimension they had been in.

-But before anything else could be stated, surprisingly it is Sun who asks a question...

Sun: Did you steal a bunch of kids from their families and turn them into monsters?

-The question clearly made the tension rise amongst the entire group in the area. With many sets of eyes narrowing at the sunny animatronic. But the most extreme reaction came from Wendigo, who not only shot upright from his loafing position, now bipedal and being the height of an adult bull moose standing on its hind legs... He slammed his fist into a nearby tree, practically making it explode into a mist of splinters... He made a movement to lunge for Sun in his anger. Only stopped by Killcode holding up a hand, preventing him from advancing any further.

Wendigo: Shut your damn mouth! Our father RESCUED all of us!! Don't you dare insult him!

Banshee: (Tightening the chains binding Sun and Moon) Dad can WE kill them? I'm gonna rip that one's jaw off!

KC: (Sighs) It's alright kids, ease it up... Mere words are not enough to upset me. In fact I'm going to do these two a favor and overlook the fact that he even said anything at all. Considering... They may be useful to us.

Bloodmoon: You're joking! You can't be serious!

KC: Bloodmoon, what are our laws?

Bloodmoon: What does that have to do with-

KC: (More forceful) What are the laws?!

Bloodmoon: Never kill kids, never kill someone who can't fight back and-

KC: And never kill anyone you are indebted too... And like it or not; we are indebted to these two.

Bloodmoon: WHAT?!

KC: Had they not sent us through that portal, we would not have everything we currently do... We would not have our family. And I would rather not envision what our lives would look like then...

...an uneasy silence falls over the Monster Family as they listen to their patriarch, but he brings his scythe up closer to his face and inspects the blade...

KC: However... You did just attempt to kidnap one of my daughters. Which would under normal circumstances... I would cut you down where you stand. So that debt is essentially... Null...

Moon: So what the fuck are you doing then? You looking for an excuse to kill us? An excuse to bend your own rules?

KC: No... But I have to acknowledge ALL of the facts. Ultimately you're not entitled to any mercy from me at this point. BUT... You Moon, could be useful to me and my family.

Moon: ....how?

KC: We have been fortunate to not have any grievous injuries that need specialized repairs... But such a day could come. Be it for Bloodmoon, myself... Or my daughter Shini. But should that day come, we'd need someone with the knowledge, resources and the skills to do aforementioned repairs.

Moon: .....

KC: So here is my offer. We agree to a mutual deal... Should we need your assistance, you provide it. But mostly the arrangement would be that you leave us alone and we leave you alone.

-KC suddenly moves his scythe until it is perfectly level with Suns neck...

KC: Of course, this offer expires in 10 seconds... 9... 8... 7-

Moon: Okay! Okay! Fine! We'll take the deal!

KC: Wise decision... (Puts his scythe away and motions for Banshee to release the two from her chains, which she does and the brothers quickly stand up) Now get out of my sight...

-Moon grabs Sun by the shoulder and drags his brother away, careful not to spare a single glance at any of the monsters, Bloodmoon or the Reaper...

...This was not going to be fun to explain to Solar...

[onlyacrazy-cat]

Trought your eyes Narilamb Fanfic 1/?

After a long day of work a black cat was returning home.

Today had not been a good day, hunting in the forgotten lands was not something simple, much less fruitful, it seemed that with each day the lands lost their fervor, they withered and perished.

But the cat needed protein, and not just him, he took the bag containing the day's hunt in his hands, and after looking at it for a few seconds he decided to knock on the door of a stranger's house.

The door was opened by an female elder raccoon, accompanied behind some various creatures.

“What brings you tonight, Mr. Nari?”

The cat showed the bag and put it in the raccoon's hands

“The hunt went well today, so I stopped by to leave the leftovers.”

“Very generous of you, Mr. Nari.”

The cat nodded

"aby…. How is she doing."

“Aby? …..”

Small hands pushed the raccoon away from the door frame, a group of children smilingly greeted the black cat.

“did you come to play? Let's play!” said one of the children who looked like he was a porcupine.

"me first! I want you to carry me again!” said a wolf cub

"Come on children, leave the good sir alone, it's late and both of you should go rest"

Nari looked at the children, like looking for someone face specificly.

“Aby is still a little sick, but I'm sure some meat soup will make her feel better, thank you very much, Mr. Nari.”

The cat nodded, and retreated into the darkness of the night.

His current refuge was a small cabin that clearly needed repairs, but for the little he could afford it was enough.

Inside the cabin there was the minimum and essential, -that's how it should be-, the cat thought, after lying in the damp bed he thought it was time to look for a new home, how many years had he lived here already? …10?, 20? Maybe a little more, in any case, the best thing would be to leave, the small town had no future, the bandits being on the edge of the forgotten lands, and those religious crazy people appeared every now and then in the town, if it weren't because He was there and therefore he cleaned the place of unpleasant presences The town would now be devastated, not to mention the minimal resources available...

Plus, there was that problem, soon the inhabitants would wonder why he hadn't aged a day since he arrived, soon they would get scared, soon they would turn against him, like in other towns, Nari preferred to leave when he could still maintain a good reputation, a nice memory of the place, and, above all, walk away before generating emotional attachment.

Narinder, was his real name, sometimes he changed it to Rin, Nari, Rinder, whatever was necessary in order to maintain a part of the only thing he could call his own, he never used it in full, it was important for him to be able to change his identity if he wanted to. So if one day he set foot in the same town again, he would just pretend to be the son of his previous incarnation and start over.

While he was thinking about what route he should take to leave the place, he couldn't help but think, even if it was only for a few seconds, on Aby's face, Aby was a small black cat like him, except for a large white spot on her face, and for some strange reason, perhaps the fact that they belonged to the same species, she caused him concern, if he could call it that.

He had not been attached to any living being for quite some time, but that little creature... would not survive the approaching winter without gaining weight, without care, without protein and good food that the orphan home could not supply, if he left the village now, I would condemn the little girl.

That was why he hated helping others, once you help them they will expect you to do it again and if you've already gotten in, you can't just ignore things.

Maybe, if she stayed a few more weeks, the little girl would survive, and he could get away before he grew attached to this dying place.

Trying to avoid thinking about how hungry he was, he decided to sleep, that way he wouldn't feel anything.

His dreams had always been an enigma to him, sometimes they were a meaningless set of sensations, and other times like this, it was a set of memories that never happened.

“Narinder! Where the hell did you put my ceremonial robe?!”

A childish laugh filled the room, in the middle of it a couple of little ones were playing wearing different types of clothes in ridiculous ways,

“I am the 𝓰̐͋̍̈ͯͧͤ̀́̚̕͟͢͠͏̴͈̟͕̘̮̤̞̩𝓸̸̡̢̍̊ͣ̿̓̃͂ͣ̕͏̸̮̯̜̝̮͍̤̫̀̀𝓭̴̶̷̵̧̨͙̹̥̗͙̙̫̱̊̿̓̿̓̏̿ͮ́́ ̶̶̨̰̟̘͈̥͙̮͇͒ͨ̊̂ͩ̈́̓ͦ̀̀̕̕͠𝓸̧̢̡͕͚̘̩̯̥̬̖ͫ̅ͧ̍̂͊̊̏́̕͘͢͠𝓯̴̵̨̢̧̛͍͕̰͓̞̯͖͛́͌͗͑̎̅̚͡͠ͅ ̴̵̨̛ͤͯ͛ͤͦ͒͒̓͏̢̠̰̼͈̘̙̻͝͝ͅ𝓭̷̐͊͊̈́ͩ̔̉͒́͢͏̴̸͠҉̮͖̞̩͇̳̞̠ behold my grace!”

A greenish, blurry figure leaned over laughing.

“You are nothing compared to my feminine elegance,” a reddish figure mentioned almost instantly.

The people in the room were like blurred shadows on a glass, yet they had certain silhouettes and a voice that could not be defined as natural, yet somehow the voices bringed familiar feeling.

“Narinder! Did you know that today I have an important ceremony! "Why did you take my robe?" a blue figure screamed.

"Leave them, I gave them permission" - answered a calm voice of a tal purple figure who watched the children play, with what seemed like a smile, or what could be one among the blurs and stains of memory -

"You are always like that! You always let him get away with it. It's not fair, I'm your brother too!”

“It's not like that, we've already talked about it.”

"No! “I’m sick of you letting this little demon do whatever he wants!”

The cat figure approached carefully, took off his robe and returned it, silently saying no words.

“Hump! I hope he doesn't have any scratches or else…”

Looking at the robe, it was now decorated with small crystals that made it look even brighter.

“Nari thought it would be a good idea to put some crystals on your robe, nice detail” -said the purple blur.

Although he couldn't see the face of the blue blur, he could feel the illusion irradiate of him, then there was a slight giggle.

“I guess the fact that some crystals perfectly covers scratch marks is just a coincidence.”

“You said it” -the purple stain laughed- “if you liked it, I think someone deserves an apology.”

“Maybe… where is that fur ball? …” -when he turned around there was no one.

---------------------------------

Screams and complaints inside the room, the little boy was waiting outside sitting on the floor, awaiting his punishment.

At the end of the discussion the purple figure came out to see the little boy, looking at him sitting there, they sat next to him and spoke with an understanding voice.

"why did you broke 𝑘̨̑̐̓͋̇̒ͬ͋͏̢͕̪̫͈̲̰̲̩̀́͘͡͞𝑎̶̸̂̈̅ͯ͆̉̈͛͏̷̛̳̪͈̮̟͉͚͖͢͢͝𝑙̷̸̷̨͓̱̻̭̦̹̩̍͋̓̅̆ͯ̀̆́́͞͡ͅ𝑙̴̛ͫ͐̂̓̇ͨ̌͑҉̷̴̨̯̦̮̤̰͕̲̀͟ͅ stuff?"

The little boy avoided the older man's gaze.

“Because he called me a demon, I'm not a demon.”

The older man shook his head – “I know that wasn't the real reason.”

The little one sighed, and after thinking about it for a long time he said

“Why wasn't I invited?”

The older one did not interrupt, letting the younger one speak.

“Everyone was invited except me, even ℌ̸̴̶ͮͥ̊̊ͧ̂͊́͢͝͏͏̦̘͎̤̞̺̪͢ͅ𝔢̵̴̵̡̧͍̱͙̳̪̫͍̱̒͊ͬ͗͐̇̊ͧ́́͟𝔨̢̒̊̍̌̉͊̔͗҉̨̡̛̹̹̮̝̹͎̰̭͞͞͞, but when I asked 𝑘̨̑̐̓͋̇̒ͬ͋͏̢͕̪̫͈̲̰̲̩̀́͘͡͞𝑎̶̸̂̈̅ͯ͆̉̈͛͏̷̛̳̪͈̮̟͉͚͖͢͢͝𝑙̷̸̷̨͓̱̻̭̦̹̩̍͋̓̅̆ͯ̀̆́́͞͡ͅ𝑙̴̛ͫ͐̂̓̇ͨ̌͑҉̷̴̨̯̦̮̤̰͕̲̀͟ͅ why I couldn't go…. He said ..."

“Ḑ̶̛̛̌̈͒̽̄͐̃ͤ̀̀͡͏��̫͙̟̦̼̝̱ẻ̢̨̛̥̭̟͍̬͙̫̞̊ͧ́̓ͬ͛ͩ́̕͟͢͠â̛̇ͬ̈̆̎ͧ͋̀͜͏҉̛͓̞͈̤̗̯̙͚̀͝t̸̴̵̡̗̞͇̦̱̖͔̖̎͊ͮ͊̏͛̊͆̀́̕͟ȟ̵̴̴̨̨̡̆̋ͫ͑̐ͤ̈͏̺̱͖̼̮̻̖̀ͅ is not welcome at a party,” the older sibling interrupted with a calm voice.

“Exactly,” he whispered.

"That doesn't justify your actions" -the little boy looked at them sadly- "besides, he's right" -the little boy felt his heart stop-

"What do you mean?" -whisper-

“Ḑ̶̛̛̌̈͒̽̄͐̃ͤ̀̀͡͏̘̫͙̟̦̼̝̱ẻ̢̨̛̥̭̟͍̬͙̫̞̊ͧ́̓ͬ͛ͩ́̕͟͢͠â̛̇ͬ̈̆̎ͧ͋̀͜͏҉̛͓̞͈̤̗̯̙͚̀͝t̸̴̵̡̗̞͇̦̱̖͔̖̎͊ͮ͊̏͛̊͆̀́̕͟ȟ̵̴̴̨̨̡̆̋ͫ͑̐ͤ̈͏̺̱͖̼̮̻̖̀ͅ is not welcome at a party, instead of attracting luck our followers saw it as a bad omen, I know you are intelligent and can understand it”

-The adult tried to touch the minor's head and the only thing he received was a hiss and a warning swipe-

“Narinder, behave,” said the eldest.

But the little boy only hissed again and distanced himself from him, his hair standing like Little spikes.

“Someday you will grow up and you will understand, you are important, but what you represent, what you are, is a cruel truth, and you will be ҉̷̷̷̨̛͙̞̖̦̰̭̙̜́̕ 𝘁ͯ̄ͪͫ̽̆͊̊͟҉̧̜̼̣̲̲͖̹͓͘̕̕͢͝𝗲̴̵̧̥͉͎̳̱͎͉͉͗ͧͤͤ͆̇̽ͨ̕͘͞͝͝𝗱̵̧̧̡̫͎̫̘̘̗͔̠̾̔̈́ͪ̆̓ͭ͛̀͘͜͞ , we only do this to protect you” – the older sibling looked with pity at the younger boy and approached to caress him, this time The little boy allowed it, he seemed to stay stiff while being in a small shock, analyzing the words his brother had said to him, gaining a little courage, and hesitatingly asked

“So… you hate Me?”

“I love you brother,” the eldest responded, “and because I love you, I tell you, stay here.”

A single tear came out of the child's eye, suddenly things changed, the memory of the little boy in the hallway with his sibling faded, now the purple figure stood in front of the dark figure, which was again on the ground, between tears, blood and chains.

“I hate you sibling!” -a more mature voice shouted now-

“And I love you” -answered a weak voice-

The response he got was a heartbreaking scream, desperate movements caused the chains to clash loudly with each other.

“And because I love you, I'm telling you, S̸̸̵̡̧̏́ͤ̒̓ͪͧ̌͘͘҉͔̹͔̩̱̦͕ͅţ̨̢ͬ̂̎̒͗̐̿̅̕͟͝͏͏̤̥̰̠͚̖̺͉a̴̷͇͚̻͚͍͎͕͓͌̽̌͐ͣ̇̌̔́́͜͜͞͡yͪ̓̃̾̽͑̄̉͏̛́͞҉̡̨̹͙̩̹̤͚̹̜͢ ̷̵̵̧̮͚̠̼̳̺̦̙̾̄ͥ͊ͫ̐͊ͮ́̀͟͡Hͮ̓̓ͮ̿̀ͩͨ͠͏̴̶̸̛͍͍̘͚̳̝̙̦͘͟ę̵̓͆̍̃̂͑͗̀͏̵̡͉̩̱̺̣̟̻̼́͜͠r̸̴̶̡̛͔͙̞͚͇̟̭̃͗̉͂ͮ̏̑̚͟͝͞ͅȇ̴̲̩͈̮̗̘̪̖͛͆ͤ̿ͤͪ̓̀͟͝͝͡͝͝” -the weak voice responded again, the screams continued, the chains smacked and the view blurred, before everyone turned completely white.

---------------------------------

Narinder woke up in sweat and tears, his wrists hurt, breathing hard, it was as if he could still feel the cold chains that were embedded in his skin.

The dream had been strangely vivid and long, although he did not understand who those beings were that accompanied him in his dreams, he felt familirity.

Maybe it was his mind trying to create a coherent story to explain his unknown past, inventing a family for him… other children he played and grew up with, those who raised him and apparently loved him.

The emptiness that these types of experiences made him feel was worse than facing reality.

In the forgotten lands... he had met more than one like himself, people without memories, whether by choice or not, mostly people with such an atrocious past,

that in order to survive they had kept what they had experienced in the recesses of their minds, and when most of what they had experienced until then had been a martyrdom, there was not to much to remebmber if the few good memories that remained were mostly almost non-existent, this generated severe amnesia, although no case as severe as his own, where the only thing he had left was his name.

Narinder caressed his wrists, running his fingers over the scars, there was the unmistakable mark of a past that he had decided to forget, for a while he tried to remember, but every time he tried, he could smell the metallic aroma of blood, feeling trapped and feeling hatred, he came to the conclusion that maybe it was better not to remember, maybe it was better to forget.

It was not his first dream in a chain, every time he dreamed about that theme, it was different, so he did not take it with importance, he ignored the failed memory, as if it were just another lie, he sat on the edge of the bed, deciding that It was time to start the day and he got ready again, he was going hunting in the forest, he needed some protein for breakfast.

---------------------------------

He followed the same path as always, upstream, the cold season forced the fish to escape to warmer areas, streams like this one contained no life, even so it was a good place to start, the animals had to come to drink water, and when, If they did it, he would simply hit a quick and effective attack with an arrow, and to increase his chances, he would continue the path towards a small lagoon, it was close to a small surrounding town, it would take them a couple of hours walking to get there.

As he got closer to the town, the plants around him began to dry and wither, it was as if the cold winter had arrived earlier in that area, since everything seemed devoid of greenery and life.

There was a strange smell in the air, and the water in the stream was becoming cloudy.

When he finally reached the small lagoon, there were no signs of life, not a single weed grew in the surrounding area, and the bushes that were still fixed to the ground were nothing more than a pile of dry whitish leaves.

The cat did not understand how such a body of water could be devoid of life around it, or why only the the lake had some strange life, it was covered in foliage, long and wide leaves covered the surface of the lake, they had showy flower buds in their center, which It seemed to be water lilies.

After such a long walk the cat approached to drink some water, using his hands like a bowl he drank, but almost instantly he spit out the contents, the taste was extremely unpleasant, he spat again, the sensation in his mouth could only be defined as putrefaction, but how was it possible? If this lake fed the entire area?

While he was recovering from the bad drink, he heard a bubbling in the water, something had emerged, curious he observed, among the foliage it was something a little difficult to see, he used his own bow to make his way through the foliage to observe better, it seemed familiar, something in the color pattern, It was fabric, had someone lost their shirt in the lake? He wondered innocently, until he felt the firmness of the object and with a small push, the object turned around, a body, headless and with some missing limbs, was shown among the foliage.

He jumped back, listening to the new bubbling, more bodies emerged from the water, one by one, in pieces, some of them fresh, others swollen and putrid, the aroma was nauseating, and as if it were a cruel joke, the cocoons of the Lilies opened, pushing the mud around them to emerge neatly, in a shade of red as bright as blood.

For the first time in a long time, Cat felt afraid, unable to understand what was happening around him.

“Are you sure it's the last one?”

“Completely sure, with this last sacrifice we will finish the ritual”

A pair of hooded men were dragging what appeared to be a villager, his head covered by a sack of potatoes.

“our lord will be pleased”

One of them carried an ax, they dragged the villager to a stump near the lake, the man begged for help while the hooded men ignored the requests.

“You will regret it! When the fox comes! you will regret it!”

“Is the fox your god?” Instead of asking us for mercy you should pray to the lamb.”

“Ungrateful fools! Your false god will only take advantage of you!”

"You wasted your last words," said the hooded man with the ax as he raised it ready to cut the villager's neck.

He lifted the ax into the air and instead of it falling with the force of gravity the weight carried him backwards and he fell to the ground on his back with a slight thud,

"what the hell!?" The hooded man shouted before an arrow knocked him out of the game. The hooded villager screamed in confusion and as soon as he felt a hand on his shoulder he defended himself with a headbutt, despite not being able to see his aggressor, he used the little mobility he still had to try to escape.

He screamed when he felt the claws on his clothes drag him back, he stirred desperately, without explaining why the captor had decided to remove the jacket that covered his vision.

A cat, with black eyes and black fur, to say that he was surprised was say too little, the cat was wearing somewhat old clothes, but it was certainly not a sect robe.

How is it possible? -whispered the rat- you must be the last of your k-..

The cat looked at him with annoyance, was it really the time to start talking about nonsense? He took out a small knife and cut the ropes from the rat's hands but he forgot to cut the rest.

“Thank you Mr… cat…” he said looking at him as if he were analyzing him again.

“We better move quickly.”

The rat shook his head "we can't, there are still people in the village, we have to save them"

“It's not my problem,” he responded quickly.

“But you saved me,” The rat responded almost instantly.

The conversation would only go in circles if he continued with the argument, the real reason for saving him had been simple, information, something that macabre, it couldn't happen just by its own, something was wrong, he could feel it in his gut.

“First tell me what happened here” – the cat approached as if nothing had happened to the bodies of the strange adepts, ensuring that they had stopped breathing, also seing if they had any valuable object.

"A damn god" - the rodent's voice was as full of pain as it was hatred, it cracked as it tried to complete the sentences, unable to move too much, the mouse jumped until he finded an ax, the same weapon that would cut off its head, he used the Sharp Edge to set himself free-

“A false prophet?” – Narinder asked without understanding how a mere mortal could cause so many deaths.

“Not exactly, while all gods are false in their doctrines, this is a real god, or at least he has the power of one.”

Narinder was speechless for several seconds watching the mouse's hard gaze, he was not joking.

“This is the forgotten land, there are no gods here, only desolation.”

“Now there is” – the serious look of the rodent caused him a shiver, which ran through his entire body.

The floor trembled under his feet, the stones fluttered, this time it was the rodent who rushed towards the cat, tackling him with his entire body, both rolled among the dry and dead bushes, when the cat wanted to complain the mouse only made him a sign of silence

A voice that could only be defined as coming from hell itself echoed

It was like hearing hundreds of voices without harmony at the same time, like animal scratches and meaningless squeals, Narinder tried to cover his ears but when he touched them he realized that his eardrums were bleeding, the mouse put a hand on Narinder's chest, giving protection and making sure it was okay, the mouse covered one of its two ears from the sound, he made a quick sign for Narinder to cover itself as well, so he did, Narinder observed that the rat had also bled from its ears and was covering them firmly .

Narinder looked at the creature, immense, bigger than any house he had ever seen, as tall as a mountain, it was pink, it seemed to be some kind of salamander, no, it was an axolotl, on its neck it wore a necklace, which shone with a pinkish glow.

The enormous creature took one of the followers of his cult in its hands, it seemed to speak again with those strange sounds.

“:How e+×÷)£€ that £££€+×÷ er na (×£€÷€ well?”

Words escaped Narinder's grasp, but that inharmonious whole was beginning to have some kind of meaning for him.

The strange god left them making the ground rumble again, as if they had forgotten to breathe, they both took a big breath of air.

"That's... the damned god who killed half the Village," the mouse whispered, Narinder decided that this battle was one he couldn't win, not against such a beast.

With his hair standing on end, he turned around, ready to leave.

“I do not blame you if after having seen such a being you wish to flee, but you must know, child, no matter where you go, the forgotten lands are no longer safe, and this terrible god will find us, wherever we go.”

It was as if the air had been forced out of his lungs, the emptiness inside was painful and terrible in equal doses.

“Help me save those we can”

Narinder turned to look at the mouse, he wouldn't do it, he would never do it, he would never put himself at risk for a simple.

The cry of a baby, in the distance, made Narinder turn his ears slightly, the sound was unmistakable, a scream between labored breaths, as loud as the infant could manage, but as weak as his hours of life, fearful of The new environment was the cry of a newborn, of a new life.

“I can't do this alone,” the rat whispered.

Narinder remained silent for a few seconds, before looking directly into the other mammal's eyes.

"We need a plan"

And the Rat smiled at him in response.

if you liked please keep reading at my ao3 account the 2d chapter is already out

[yuridovewing]

Yeah, as a nonbinary person who could get pregnant but never wants to, I find the way fans treat trans cats having litters really weird. Like as long as you depict it with respect because trans parents deserve it, it's not hurting anyone. Plus it's unfair to trans fans who want to have biokids. I saw a Warriors Roleplay outright ban trans cats from having children that werent adopted with the excuse of 'listening to trans voices'. Ok, well not every trans person is uncomfortable with the idea of having children and its unfair to act like thats the case. YOU can be uncomfortable with having kids and thats fine, but just because something makes you dysphoric doesnt mean nobody is allowed to do it.

ABSOLUTELY! Ohhh I have thoughts about that RP... "you can NEVER portray trans characters having bio kids, they HAVE to adopt because trans people having bio kids is wrong!! We're doing this because we love trans people and we know that not a single one has had or wants children! This is helpful!! We're helping!!"

This stuff does have an effect on the real world, too (maybe not our silly little cat headcanons, but the general discussion around this topic in a wider range) When you insist that you can't portray trans people having kids, to the point you ban it in an rp or lash out at trans creators who do so, how do you think that reflects onto trans people who not only want bio kids, but have already had bio kids? That people like them are so uncomfortable, it is an insult to other trans people to acknowledge they exist? That they are an Other, something abnormal, something the trans community should never accept?

I get it. There are a lot of trans people irl who don't want bio kids because of dysphoria, among several other factors. Anon and I are two of them! And there WERE some people genuinely being reductive about the topic and just making a single trans character in a gay ship trans for bio kids. But what trans people are you helping by banning the discussion altogether? We aren't a hivemind. We're all individuals with different needs and preferences. If your dysphoria is SO bad that you can't look at other trans people who haven't met your standard for whatever reason and you demand that they stay quiet and not exist for your comfort... it's time to work on yourself. And if you're not trans and you're saying this, please shut up, holy shit stop telling trans people how to write our own characters or how we should headcanon things.

And to be honest, I've grown kinda sick of being policed around what kind of trans characters we're allowed to write. This attitude extends to stuff like dysphoria, whether a character has taken steps to medically transition (and you'll get snapped at no matter what!), portraying GNC trans people, and more. It's not as prevalent in the warriors fandom, I think, but it's become so nitpicked that I'm exhausted.

[juuheizou]

hey! ^^ i really love hearing your thoughts on suzumutsu bc i feel like you understand their characters & dynamic so well, so i thought i'd ask a few random questions i've been thinking about, if u feel like sharing your thoughts on them. for one i've been wondering if animals would like/trust them bc honestly i can see both sides lol. juuzou clearly likes them and in the anime there was that cat in the zoo that liked him too but i can also see him constantly chasing after spooked stray cats... as for tooru i guess it'd depend on what we actually consider canon from whatever the hell his arc was💀 i've also been thinking about how they'd do with kids, like if they had to babysit or something lol. just awkward? terrible? surprisingly good? and finally, what do you think tooru's hobby would be? i can imagine juuzou with a bunch of different hobbies but i couldn't really think of anything for tooru... i think his character is a lot harder for me to understand than juuzou, maybe bc i'm autistic so i relate to juuzou way more lol😅 anyways sorry for this long ramble and hope u have a good day<3

NEVER apologize for sending me a long ramble about suzumutsu! I'm so flattered by the fact that you would want to hear (read? it just doesn't sound the same) me ramble about these things, and to say I do their characters and dynamic justice is probably the nicest, highest praise you could tell me about my suzumutsu ramblings, so thank you! My heart is exploding right now, and I hope I continue to do them justice with this rambling haha.

for one i've been wondering if animals would like/trust them bc honestly i can see both sides lol. juuzou clearly likes them and in the anime there was that cat in the zoo that liked him too but i can also see him constantly chasing after spooked stray cats...

That's a super valid point to bring up-- as someone who interacts with a critical mass of people who often like animals but don't know how to do right by them as my actual job, I have to admit I never even considered Suzuya being one of those people. That being said, maybe there is some bias involved because, like you, I relate really strongly to him myself, but part of why I never thought of it that way is he very easily clicks in my head as a fellow cat whisperer. Meaning someone who can even befriend the mean ones and soothe them when they're scared or hurt, with a strong intuition for when something isn't right. And I think being as blunt as he is at times, he would be the one telling people to stop chasing after spooked stray cats, probably with some vulgar word choices and his glare that can unsettle a Washuu into giving him what he wants. I do think that even though being perceptive of their subtle body language and understanding them enough for strays to let him pet them-- which he does habitually enough in :RE that some of Hanbee's last words to him in that omake where he gets sick are to please wash his hands after petting them, is intuitive, he took some trial and error to nail down the practical side of caring for animals. I have no doubt that he would have wanted a pet of his own from the day he learned that humans could not just be pets, but have them. His first was probably a stray he found and smuggled into his dorm as a teenager one day and he figured that having been one himself, he was an expert on what pets needed and how to care for them. He can't bring himself to hurt this precious little creature like Mama did with him, even as a reward, but he has the other things covered. Except he doesn't. He sneaks bits of his school meals back to it because he thinks that since that's what Mama sustained him on, all pets eat their owner's scraps. He's 16 with no job and only lunch money he pickpockets off of day students, so this cat is unvaccinated and has no veterinary care. He tries really hard to make it a warm, safe nest under his bed and the nicest collar he can make out of that he has around, but animals need more than that. It's just not a great situation, and he can tell his newly adopted stray isn't doing well but he doesn't want to let it go because he knows what no one else knows/believes yet about Tokage and for some reason he really doesn't want that fate for this cat. Within a couple of days, he finally confesses to Shinohara that he smuggled a cat into his room and now something really bad is happening with it, what does he do? He does end up having to relinquish the cat to a shelter-- he didn't fully grasp it at the time, but he never would have been able to offer it any quality of life under his bed at the Academy even if he did know how. Shinohara is there as his ride, for emotional support, and to make sure he actually does relinquish the cat. Frankly, he's shocked that Suzuya would care so much about a living thing. It break's Shinohara's heart seeing how devastated Suzuya is over losing the cat, but it also gives him an idea. He is an advocate for rehabilitating Suzuya after all, and now he's found something that can live and die and suffer and Suzuya isn't indifferent to it. It's pretty rare, since Suzuya can only leave the Academy with supervision and Shinohara is a busy investigator/teacher (my excuse for it only being a thing in my head and not in the series haha) but whenever the pieces fall into place, Suzuya gets to spend some time cleaning up after, feeding, grooming, and giving some human affection to the shelter cats, which also teaches him how to take care of them when he can one day get his own. As an adult, with that experience and his natural affinity for his feline friends, he is extremely good with them, and while I see them being his specialty, I think he's good with other animals too.

as for tooru i guess it'd depend on what we actually consider canon from whatever the hell his arc was?

OKAY everyone but anon and I, I promise I did not write this ask to myself, because anon, it is absolutely sending me how much this sounds like something I would say haha. I think the “we've known Tokage was killing animals since the original series, but what if it was Tokage AND Mutsuki now? not that it makes any pieces of anyone's story click into place or anything” thing doesn't make much sense and nothing makes me happier than compartmentalizing it straight into the garbage. Although you might think he is good at gaining their trust with how gentle and patient he is, I don't think Mutsuki is an animal lover per se and his nervousness around them makes them wary of him. I see him as a blank slate. He didn't grow up with any pets even before he became a ward of the CCG. He doesn't know much about animals, and he has a kind of respectful fear for what he doesn't know. He feels sad about and wants to help the poor animals in commercials and news stories suffering in bad conditions, and if he did have any idea about Tokage as a child (which, for this reason, I doubt) he would probably do something as reckless as getting into Torso's cab to try and help just one because that's just how he is about helping others. However, had he ever gotten the opportunity to be a good samaritan with an animal, he would have no idea how to handle the creature itself and probably be nervous to even touch it for fear that he will hurt it or it will just bite him without warning. However, once they grow close and Mutsuki starts hanging out at Suzuya's apartment, he does slowly come to like Suzuya's cats. It terrifies him when Suzuya teaches him that animals probably don't come up to him or let him pet them because they pick up on his fear. Once he realizes that he is the reason these little beasts that Suzuya adores don't like him, however, he gets really dedicated to learning as much as he can about how to win over a cat. It's actually good practice in controlling his reaction to fear, trying everything his research leads him to until finally, finally, the cats start coming to him for affection too. He's not as bad as he was before he met Suzuya, but to this day, though, he usually doesn't approach unfamiliar animals out of concern that he will bother them.

i've also been thinking about how they'd do with kids, like if they had to babysit or something lol. just awkward? terrible? surprisingly good?

Complete reversal of roles compared to animals. There are a lot of things that are great about Suzuya Juuzou, but patience, empathy, and discretion are not among those things. And those are pretty important when interacting with children. Plus, in a babysitting-type arrangement, he has a hard enough time taking care of himself on his own and believes sometimes to a fault in letting people of any age learn from making their own mistakes, so something will probably catch on fire. As if the experience wasn't already infernal enough without literal fire surrounding him and the hapless child he's been left in charge of. On the bright side, he is calm and competent in an emergency, so while his limited child-handling skills probably contributed to something being on fire or the kid getting a big scary gash across its head, he's in his element once the disaster is already happening. He'll control that bleeding head like a professional and probably distract the kid enough to get a laugh while they wait to be seen at urgent care. He'll put out that fire and teach himself how to repair the damage enough that it at least looks like it never happened. If you've ever seen the live action movie of “The Cat in the Hat,” that sums up Suzuya's skill set with kids pretty well. I also just don't see him liking or wanting to hang out with kids when he could be doing literally anything else. If someone was desperate enough to guilt and beg and annoy him into watching theirs, which if they did enough to sway Suzuya of all people, they probably deserve a hard time, I wouldn't put it past him to let the children watch a very age-inappropriate scary movie or just go through his most recent case file right before the parents came home. Not that he wants to harm the kids or blames them for the fact that he's stuck with them, but their psyche is acceptable collateral damage to him if it means their parents will never even consider him as a last resort again. Mutsuki, on the other hand, is both good with children and likes children, and he really cares about making every one he meets feel safe and loved and everything he wasn't at their age. Honestly, whenever I start scheming an AU that doesn't revolve around a certain vocation already and I need to give him a job other than ghoul investigator, teaching, counseling, and childcare are up there with my top choices for him because we know he cares deeply about helping and protecting others. Helping professions have their own unique rewards and challenges and while I think he would at least try helping anywhere he could, working with human(oid) children would have the challenges he could handle the best and the rewards that would keep him wanting to come back the most. In canonverse, if/when he has friends with kids, in addition to being good with them, we know he can be a bit of a pushover, so he would often get suckered into babysitting. Sometimes it goes so well he even questions if he really doesn't want his own kids. That said, as soon as an emergency goes down or his squeamish self ends up splattered in any bodily fluid or child-related mess, he immediately stops questioning it, and the first person he calls (second only if he has to call actual emergency services) is Suzuya. Although the latter might not be as good with children, he at least fills in the few but important strengths Mutsuki doesn't have mastered.

and finally, what do you think tooru's hobby would be? i can imagine juuzou with a bunch of different hobbies but i couldn't really think of anything for tooru... i think his character is a lot harder for me to understand than juuzou, maybe bc i'm autistic so i relate to juuzou way more lol?

It is hard, and in addition to some characters just clicking and being more relatable to certain people, I think it's also hard because he canonically gives so much time and energy and even puts himself in danger for others. I can actually see him neglecting to carve out nice things for himself, such as hobbies, in the manga. It's not just us, it's him! This is also the reason why these headcanons are, frankly, much more based on vibes than any panel, illustration, or omake I could even loosely tie them to. I think to keep from giving up on life as a whole, he needs an activity that makes him feel a glimmer of confidence, like he is good at something. Also, as much as he shies away from any eyes on him, appreciation for something he did secretly lights him up inside. Training with Suzuya is one thing that fills this need, but something that he does by himself that isn't career-related is cooking. We know from Shirazu that he can cook, but I think he also likes to. It's less about what he's cooking or who for, so much as it is that feeling of executing something with competence and having the people around him enjoy something he made so he knows it's good. Plus, it's hard to ruminate on your worries and frustrations and secrets when you're concentrating so hard on not burning something. He definitely strikes me as the type to stress-cook or stress-bake. He also strikes me as a journaler. I couldn't even begin to try justifying why with logic, but he just seems like the type. Trying to make beautiful aesthetic doodles would probably just make him think about how he's not good at drawing, but he would have a guilty pleasure for cute sticky notes, motivating stickers, nice pens, stuff like that to decorate and organize his cathartic writing about his day. Probably no one whose opinion matters would judge him for liking to make his journal look nice or thinking some little frog stickers are cute, but he feels paranoid about it and carefully hiding his journal with all his stationery and supplies and moving it to a new hiding place when he gets anxious that someone is going to find it is its own entirely separate hobby. Another reason why I think it's hard to see him with the same amount and variety of hobbies as Suzuya is I think he would find a couple of things to give him that sliver of “me time” and stick with them. Suzuya's reasons for doing a lot of what he does for fun are different from Mutsuki's, so for him, bouncing around between several things helps him keep it exciting and avoid boredom. Those things don't matter as much to Mutsuki, and what does matter to him is having something that makes him feel competent and/or helps him feel at ease, so actually diving into something new on the regular would do the opposite of fulfilling some of the things he needs in a hobby.

[betweenthings2]

okay right. it is Fic Ask time 🙂‍↕🙂‍↕🙂‍↕ YAHOO greatest fears, wringing hands, loudest silence here i come. also sorry this is a little late !! if ur birthday was before i sent this then i hope u enjoyed and if its after then i also hope u enjoy !!! ☺️☺️

"I-" Matty chokes on a sob, "I'm gonna do it, George. I think I'm gonna do it."

never write another word again or i fear you may kill me. GOOD GOD. :( <- me atm

"I've heard it doesn't hurt--do you think that's true?" Matty asks. In the background, George can hear the sound of packaging being opened and George knows.

I FEEL SICK. no it is Not true matthew stop pls im gonna start sobbing. george knows :(((

"Sorry," Matty mumbles. "Sorry for botherin' you."

okay well 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i actually forgot how sad this is. i blocked it out the same way womens bodies supposedly do after pregnancy. i am going to SCREAM AND CRY

Matty is quiet for a moment, then he says, "Do you think it'll stain the grout? Will my mum be upset I ruined the tile, do you think?"

ohhhh the way hes more worried about how she'll react instead of worrying about himself:(( my chest hurts pls

"There's so much, G," Matty says, something like awe in his voice. "Do you think my mum will be upset?"

google how do i be normal. i genuinely might just sob. :(( i just can't get over how u managed to get that. like. the sort of innocence to it ??? like hes so out of it he cant understand it properly Ohhhhhh :(((

OH THE LETTER NO NO NO NO NO

You deserve something.

i am going to explode thank you

I don't think I'm meant to make it, G. It's ok, though. It's been good. You made it good, but I'm tired and I'm sad and everything hurts.

there are no words in the english language i could possibly use to describe how this hurt me

I know this is happening to you, not me, not really, not anymore.

YOUR DEATH IT WONT HAPPEN TO YOU IT HAPPENS TO YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FRIENDS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i just absolutely cannot comprehend how you put so much sadness into this. im going to sob

And then George is ugly crying in the waiting room. It's big, heaving sobs and it's all he can do to get himself outside so he doesn't bother anyone. Dimly, he thinks that this is the worst day of his life, then immediately tells himself off for feeling sorry for himself when he doesn't even know if Matty is still alive and if he is, then he's somewhere alone and hurting and instead of being there for him, George is feeling sorry for himself.

i had to put my phone down after reading this paragraph and go and scream silently at my cat over it. this pain transcends species. :((((((((( the way uve gotten the idea that it just makes everyone feel shit and then they feel bad for feeling shit and just OHHHHH. ☹️☹️☹️

Regardless of the semantics, Matty looks peaceful. His arms are wrapped in gauze from wrist to elbow, there's an IV in the back of his left hand, and he connected to several other machines, but he looks peaceful, like he's getting long neglected rest.

i need this tattooed like you know how some people get ones that go around their arms all the way like a bracelet im gonna do that but ill do it somewhere that can fit this entire paragraph and im gonna show it to every single person i meet. what the fuck. peaceful ohhhhh what if i sob. ive also been seeing a lot of stuff about divine machinery or whatever it is and this made me think of that? just the image of him in a bed with wires all going to him . im going to explode

"I should say that to you," George counters. "You were going to make me listen to you die."

☹️ I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

"Why couldn't you just let me die?" Matty repeats. "'s not like I'm worth it. I'm not worth it, G. You'll be better without me. You'll all be better without me."

tears in my stupid gay real person fiction painted eyes. u cannot just WRITE THAT oh my GOD. ☹️☹️☹️ they will most definitely not be better without u matty pls :(

"You say that," Matty says, his voice thick, "but you don't mean it. You don't want me around when I can't get out of bed, or when I can't seem to stop talking, or when I loose things and double book myself and forget we had plans and give up on things 'cause they're not interesting anymore, or when I try to control everything, or when I fuck something else up, 'cause I will, or-"

my heart hurts. i just cannot deal with this. im going to be in a hospital bed in a minute Oh this is so :((((((

It takes a while, but eventually, George scrubs the blood from the tile, revealing the stains on the tile and grout. Kneeling there, slightly sweaty from the frenzied scrubbing and on the verge of tears, George remembers Matty's worries about the grout. Suddenly it's so ridiculous that George has to laugh and a bird's eye view of himself pops into his head and he has to laugh harder. When he dissolves into tears he'd tried so hard to fight, he starts scrubbing the floor again, but the stains are stuck, so he gives up. It's only when George is done in the bathroom and he goes to leave that he realizes that there are more boot prints through Matty's room and across the plush cream colored carpeting Denise had put in as soon as Louis wasn't a toddler anymore. George doesn't have it in him to clean that, too.

hey so did you know i actually cannot deal with this. i just cannot. the grrroooouuuuuttttttt :((((((

The third thing is that Matty is retrained.

:(

"Matty's not violent."

MATTYS NOT VIOLENT 😭😭😭 crying into my latte pls omfg. the way he sees him at his best even when its probably wrong IM GONNA CRY

"Still," Matty protests. "I didn't want you to see the mess I made."

my cat got in the way of me reading this and now she has my chin on her back and is 'reading' along with me. maybe i shouldve chosen something happier. character development. anyway i am Losing my fucking mind oh good god

Matty raises his eyebrows, saying, "Who knew that's what it took for you to start yelling?"

matty brings out the best and worst in him and its making me sick. OJ MYCGOD

I was gonna take pills, but it was right there and I've heard it doesn't hurt if you use something sharp enough, so I called you, and I wanted you to be the last person I talked to."

THIS IS NOT OKAY I AM NOT OKAY NOTHING IS OKAY NOTHING WILL EVER BE OKAY EVER AGAIN. :((((((( i cant even explain how this affects me

"I spent an hour and a half last night trying to bleach your blood from your bathroom tile," George continues, "and the only thing I see when I close my eyes is what it looked like when I got there and bloody fucking tracks across your mum's nice carpet and you, in a fucking casket, and all I can think is that everyone failed you and that I failed you, and I love you, Matty, and I know everything's kinda a mess in your head and I know it's not about me, but please, for just a minute, think about the people who love you."

i cant put into words what im feeling while reading this but just know this is what i look like

I CANNOT FUCKING DEAL

"I'm gonna fight for you," George says, a little softer. "Why can't you fight for you, too?"

"I don't have the energy to fight," Matty answers quietly.

"Will you let me?"

OH WHAT THE FUCK CAN WE STOP THIS. IM GOING TO SCREAM. u put So much. sad. into ur writing. and its so impressive. i am going to explode. will u let me THERES TEARS. STOP (do not)

George wants to yell at them, tell them that sedating Matty doesn't solve anything, that he's small enough that he's not a threat to anyone, that sedation is half of Matty's problem. George doesn't say anything, just watches.

SMALL ENOUGH TGAT HES NOR A THREAT RO ANYOEN STOP THIS MADNESS IMMEDIATELY. OH MY GOD 😭😭😭😭😭 i actually need to see a doctor im going insane

Sometimes, they all go together and it breaks George's heart to watch Matty trying so hard to be himself for his brother. At some point, Matty's stitches get removed, but the cuts are still red and angry and tender and Matty opts for long sleeves so no one sees them, himself included.

. tears in my eyes .

this is not okay

im going to die

"himself included" :((((( im unwell

"Did you, did they, at the hospital did you, uh-" Matty cuts himself off.

"Did they give me your note?" George fills in.

im feeling very normal about this. the most normal. oh my god. i feel like this emoji ☹️ i CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS

"It broke my heart," George admits.

READING THIS IS BREAKING MINE ☹️ sob sob sob sob sob im going to explode

"You think my life is worth saving," Matty continues, slowly.

i genuinely might start sobbing. death and destruction and pain and OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDD 😭😭😭

George would want to wake up like this forever if Matty didn't look so vacant.

there used to be a heart in my chest but its since shrivelled up and DIED. this is for real going to kill me. pls im SAD ☹️ i love this so much

"Mostly that I really, really love you," Matty mumbles, sheepish. "And about what we talked about last night."

☹️ he loves george so much it makes me SICK. and u know what else makes me sick. how sad. this fic. is making me. but in a good way. im so obsessed im going to CRY

Matty gives a minute shake of his head and says, "I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna wake up and fucking brush my teeth and, and try so hard to do everything right and be enough and still fucking fail. I'm tired, George and the meds make it worse and everyone looks at me like I'm about to lose it and my mum keeps fucking apologizing and I've got these fucking scars that I'm gonna have forever and everyone will know how fucked up I am."

screaming crying throwing up im going to my library and telling them about you and making them tell everyone that comes in about you. this is terrible for my heart but so wonderful for every other part of me. my heart hurts. i love this so much

Matty shakes his head again. "You just look sad."

:((((((((( he just looks sad :(((((((((

"It's fucking hideous. And I did it to myself," Matty argues. "I cut myself. And then I tore the fucking stitches out. Who does something like that?"

im printing this and binding it or like sticking it to my walls and making it into a poster. oh my FUCKING GOD this is so sad and ohsjkwkdmdxkewkdkoeod i need to be SEDATED

Matty groans, ever the dramatic, but agrees, "Fine."

:'))) he still has parts of himself left :'))) he might be terrible mentally but he is Still Matty !!!

Years from now, when they're sitting in a house George has cleaned top to bottom, in a kitchen where the strongest thing is a single pack of ibuprofen and even the cooking wine has been thrown out in the wake of Matty's time in rehab, George will tell Matty of this victory. Matty will cry and apologize and cry some more, and George will hold him and try not to think about the scars, silvery and faded, on Matty's forearms.

I ACTUALLY CANNOT COPE WITH THIS. !??!??!?!??!?!??! how do you just Casually say the most...beautiful sentences...and act like its the same as any other. im in AWE of you. !!!!!!! so sad !!! so happy !!!!!! so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In one of the fights that will become more frequent in the coming months, Denise will yell at Matty about how much it cost to have the carpeting and bathroom tile replaced.

DENISE...BE NICE...STOP. im gonna die. oh my god pls no sTOP IT

"Am I," he pauses, "am I gonna be ok? I think I wanna be ok."

fighting demons to Not Cry atm. oh my god. i am. just. oh my god. :( he wants to be okay :(

Matty keeps wearing long sleeves and George can't help but be afraid that Matty break if he's not gentle enough.

never speak again or you Will kill me. oh my god. the way he loves him makes me die inside but in a happy way. do u get the vibe. i hope u get the vibe. i love this in a way that only Vibes can convey

This isn't Matty from before, but it isn't the Matty that wrote the suicide note George can't bring himself to throw out.

hi what the fuck. this is gorgeous and i need it engraved in marble under like. a carving of you or something. oh my FUCKING GOD i swear im putting this somewhere idk where but its going SOMEWHERE

They're sharing a joint and hiding out in Matty's bedroom when he speaks up.

i know its sad and all but this is making me so soft. like. its so intimate i just love it so much :((( sharing a joint even when theyre meant to go on some huge tour ohhhhhh my HEART HURTS. also the image of teeny tiny mini matty being so sad ??????? stop ??????? pls i didnt realise he was meant to be that young im :(((((

this is the most wonderful thing ive ever read and it genuinely should be shown to everybody who even knows what suicide is or something. just everybody. i love it so much and u HAVE to know how amazing it is like omg. i also just realised i didnt give it kudos the first time ?? past me was a little freak. i did like it though i remember that, i think i was just shy, anyway, its amazing and u have to know that. ok. enjoy the rest of ur birthday month and think lots about sad matty i love u u are the best

Fic thoughts!! Thank you so much! My actual birthday was unexciting--I just went to class--but I'm seeing Charli xcx soon and it's still birthday season, so I think that counts for something =)

Anyway, fic time!

Poor fictional!Matty--he's so desperate and scared--and poor fictional!George, hearing him like that =(

George knows!!! !!!! He knows but he doesn't want to know but he can't make himself not know!! They are so very, very tragic.

Fictional!Matty thinks he's a bother!!! He just wants a little bit of comfort in the end from fictional!George, but he still just thinks he's a bother.

He's still so sure he's a bother and the problem =(( Fictional!Matty is just trying to stop being the problem and here he is, certain he's causing another one.

(If I knew how to be normal I would tell you, unfortunately, this fic came from my little head, so normal is kind of out of the question.) However. Fictional!Matty is mostly impressed that he managed to do it and impressed that all of the blood was inside him. He's lost too much blood to be logical about anything, but he's impressed with himself.

The letter!! Fun fact, the letter was almost not a part of this fic because I didn't know how to write it.

Fictional!George does deserve something! He deserves everything, fictional!Matty just doesn't know how to give it.

Hurt was the goal, if I'm being honest. Sorry. I'm glad it worked, but sorry.

I will admit, "I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes)" was very much the foundation of the letter. Fictional!Matty knows he's not the one it's happening to, but he just doesn't know what else to do.

Poor, poor fictional!George =( =( He's so in love and he thinks he might have just lost the person he loves and it really is the worst day of his life, but what about fictional!Matty? What's happening to him? This is probably the worst day of his life, too. (I hope you and your cat have recovered. My goal was never to upset anyone's pets.)

Poor, poor fictional!George that this is how fictional!Matty looks peaceful. And the divine machine is such a good concept!! I'll be thinking about that for the foreseeable future =) and oh my god, tattoo my writing on you? That's too much of a compliment. I don't know what to do.

I think this fic could boil down to poor fictional!George. He was going to have to listen to fictional!Matty die!! They're so sad.

It could also boil down to poor fictional!Matty, too. He's so convinced everyone would be better without him and fictional!George doesn't know what to do about it =(

Fictional!Matty hates himself so much and he absolutely cannot reconcile the fact that fictional!George loves him so much. He can't help but think fictional!George is blind.

The grout!!! There's a piece of writing advice floating around out there that essentially amounts to the bigger and more dramatic the thing you're writing about, the smaller the thing you focus on should be as a demonstration of how big that thing is. Suicide and self-loathing are massive things to tackle, the grout is a near microscopic demonstration.

Love that my typo on restrained is committed to memory now. Anyway, fictional!Matty is restrained! He's a danger to himself!!!

The only person fictional!Matty has any kind of violence for is himself!!

I hope your cat is doing ok =/ Tragedy can be build character, maybe. I am of the opinion that tragedy is good for us, actually.

Fictional!M+G are the best and the worst of each other, I would argue. They have, in this fic, loved each other nearly as long as they've been real people. Of course they bring out the best and worst in each other. That's what they are.

Fictional!Matty is so, so certain he's been horribly selfish, but fictional!George is so ridiculously grateful he was able to save his life. Fictional!Matty is also terminally curious, so of course he'd want to know if it really hurt. (He hoped it wouldn't--he doesn't handle pain well--but it did.)

I would tell you what I looked like writing this, but I cannot remember what I was thinking when I wrote this, but again, poor, poor fictional!George. He's angry, but he's pretty sure he doesn't have the right to be, but god, he is.

I will never stop writing angst. Of all the things I'm actively working on (so many, so, so many), there are about three that aren't angsty, two of which are smut. So. There will be so much more angst.

Fictional!Matty is little tiny! The orderly could just put fictional!Matty over his shoulder and carry him out but he doesn't!! Ahhhh

Fictional!Matty still hates himself, hates what he's done to himself. Fictional!George wouldn't tell him, but he hates seeing the scars, too, so he's not going to complain about the long sleeves, just grieve everything that's happened.

The letter! Originally, they were just going to have a conversation about it here, but then I actually wrote it, so they're just sad here.

Fictional!George probably needs therapy after this--he's so sad, endlessly sad, but at least fictional!Matty is alive.

Fictional!Matty is there, but he's not really there, but at least he's sort of there =(

Fictional!Matty loves fictional!George so much!! He just might hate himself more.

Tell everyone in the library about my sad fics?!?! I am very touched, but that might be too much--I'm just some guy. But, hopefully my next fic hurts less.

They're just sad!!!!

Poor fictional!Matty is angry now, too. He hates what he's done to himself and literally all he can do is live with it. =(

He's still himself! That's what makes it worse for fictional!George--it would be easier if fictional!Matty was just. absent, but he's not and it's heartbreaking.

They will ever, ever escape this. They will live under the shadow of this one thing forever because fictional!Matty will literally bear the scars forever.

Fictional!Denise doesn't know what to do with this either!! Fictional!Matty just fights with her in a way that he doesn't with fictional!George. In his defense, living with your parents in your early twenties is a little bit rough sometimes.

Fictional!Matty wants to try, he just doesn't know how!!

I do get the vibe!! It's a good vibe!!

I do not know what the fuck, I'm sorry. I do know that fictional!George will never throw the letter away. Fictional!Matty will find it at some point, ten or fifteen years down the line, and he'll read it and cry, and then fictional!George will find him and then they'll cry together.

They're so young!! They're too young for this, too young to figure out how to cope with this, but they have to. They have to and maybe that's biggest tragedy of it all!

Here's a fun fact that's maybe not very fun--this fic was originally going to titled "Call Your Mom," because that's the song that inspired it, but it didn't seem quite right when I finished it.

Thank you so much for reading and your thoughts and all the compliments!! I'm so touched and I promise I'm actively working on the fictional!George in a skirt fic.

[casspurrjoybell-20]

FOOLS IN LOVE - Chapter 23 - Part 2 BOOK THREE: 'Fools Fall in Love' Trilogy

*Warning - Adult Content*

Sam Moretti

The music wasn't the best to dance to but at least Benjamin stayed with me and didn't complain anymore and finally my body let go of the tension and I could actually have a good time.

A thoughtless time where I didn't feel anxious over every little thing but then my fun got ruined.

Benjamin and I were in the crowd of other people drinking and dancing when a bulky looking guy waltzed up to a girl, he was clearly making her uncomfortable with what looked like his flirting and then he slid his hand down and grabbed her ass before she pushed him away and stormed off.

I cringed and faced Benjamin again, I knew he saw the same thing I did.

"Men can be so gross sometimes," I said in disgust.

Benjamin looked at me like he didn't understand what I said.

"Maybe if she wasn't wearing clothes that made her look like a prostitute, guys wouldn't hit on her."

My jaw was to the floor.

"You're joking, right?" except I knew he wasn't because Benjamin didn't know how to joke.

"Girls like that are just asking to be hit on," Benjamin said like it was a fact.

"Looking like that and then getting mad when they get cat-called or a guy touching them. It's hypocritical."

I was aghast at Benjamin.

My hands dropped from his sides.

"No, it's that men sexualize women's bodies. They should be able to wear whatever they want and not have to deal with men ogling at them," I scoffed.

"I can't believe you think this way."

"Whatever, Sam. I didn't even want to be here. Let's leave."

'What the hell?'

"No. You can leave if you want to but I'm staying," I told him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'll leave when Kai leaves."

"You're just upset. Let's go back to my place. I don't want to argue at some obtuse party over something stupid."

I gapped.

"Over something stupid? You were being sexist, Ben and I said I'm not leaving, yet," I stood my ground.

"You're being immature," he claimed.

I shrugged.

"Then I'm being immature."

"Fine. You can go home with Kai but we'll being talking about this tomorrow."

I shook my head and scoffed as I watched him walk away.

"Unbelievable," I muttered.

I was furious, both at what Benjamin was saying about women and at myself for actually feeling guilty for wanting to break up with him.

I should've done it there at the party.

Gotten it over with.

I felt so stupid choosing Benjamin Hernandez.

Just being with him in general.

How did I not realize how sexist he was until now?

Kai even warned me.

'So, so stupid, Sam.'

**********

I was gonna go to the bathroom and splash water in my face to cool down but of course the line was long, so I made my way upstairs and searched for a bathroom.

The first door was locked and the second door I watched a very horny looking couple go into the room and the third door I opened was an empty bedroom with a en-suite attached to it.

I stepped into the bedroom and was going to shut the door when a hand stopped it from shutting.

I glared at him.

"Hey Sammy," Jude greeted me but it felt far from any greeting I've ever heard.

"I thought that was you," he noted.

"Leave me alone," I told him in nonchalance to convey I didn't care what he had to say.

As soon as I tried to side step around him and leave to room, he nudged me back.

"I'll scream, don't think I won't," I warned him.

Jude laughed.

"Chill, I'm not going to do anything. I just wanted to catch up."

"Well, I don't want to, so if you could move out of my way," I said bitterly.

He didn't seem to like that answer as he gripped my arm.

"I don't understand what Noah saw in you. Or why you think you are so much better than me."

"Maybe because I'm not a fucking psychopath, now let me go. You have three seconds before I scream."

"The great thing about parties, no one will hear you, they're all to drunk and the music's too loud."

"You're a sick person, you know that? Like mentally there's something screwed up in your head," I spoke matter-of-factly and I definitely should not have talked back to Jude.

I should've just pleaded for me to leave because then I made him enraged and I was being shoved, pushed down onto the queen sized bed in the room.

I never felt fear take over me faster than that moment.

Jude's body kept me in place, one hand keeping both of my hands against my chest while his other hand had my jaw in a deadly grip.

"I'm the fucked up one?"

"Get off me."

I tried shoving him but he had all the advantage... taller, stronger and faster than me.

"Scream, I don't care. In fact, it would turn me on," he said with a sadistic grin.

I felt like I was going to throw up and I wish I had but I tried a new tactic.

"Okay, I'm sorry. You're right. I don't know what Noah saw in me. Clearly nothing because he broke up with me..."

"It's too late because he humiliated me and I don't like not getting what I want and what I want right now is to say 'fuck you' to Noah in a way that'll absolutely destroy him."

My heart was pounding in fear because I knew exactly what Jude was implying.

Tears welled in my eyes.

"Noah hates me. You messing with me won't bother him," I tried.

Jude shook his head.

"We both know that's a fucking lie," he said.

"So stop fucking talking," and he leant down.

"Stop," I cried but his finger's grip on my jaw was too strong for me to turn my face when he leaned in to kiss me.

"Stop," I sobbed but my word morphed to a blur when his lips touched mine.

I tried squirming away, trashing my body out of his hold but I was too weak.

I turned my face away from him when his fingers left my jaw but then they went to the zipper of my pants and I squeezed my eyes shut, praying I didn't have to see, hear or feel what Jude was going to do to me.

"Please stop," I cried and then my prayer must've been heard because I felt his weight lift but it wasn't God's doing.

When I opened my eyes, Noah was on top of Jude, throwing punch after punch to his face and he wasn't stopping.

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

573 of 2023

What states have you been to in the past year?

I've never been to any state in my life.

Have you ever sleepwalked?

No, not that I know of.

What year was your house built?

Somewhere in the 19th century or whatever. I don't know, we only rent it.

Do you feel like you have more in common with men or with women?

What's sthat question lol. Everyone is different and genders have little to do with it. But if we go into stereotypes, I'm a dude. Technical job, nerdy interests, all that.

What’s your favorite superhero movie?

I don't watch movies. And superheroes are lame in my opinion.

Do you want children? Why/why not?

No, I don't. I think I'll never be ready for it. I'm fine being an uncle, though.

Do you have any credit card debt?

No, I don't own any credit card. Only a debit card.

Have you ever been really late for work because you slept past your alarm?

No, I never sleep past my alarm. If I'm ever late for work, it's because something happened on the way.

Are you good at reading people?

Nay. I got autism, pals.

Who do you go to for relationship advice?

Nowhere. I just get by myself and land in weird situations lol.

What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid?

Playoing outside with other kids.

What’s the longest you’ve worked without a day off?

Several months.

Have you ever been scammed?

Almost. I got a message from the "tax service" and then I realised the website was fake.

Do you know anyone who works in the tech industry in Silicon Valley?

What is Silicon Valley?

Do you wear eyeliner?

No, I don't. I have nothing against the guys who do, though.

Did you ever take a personal finance class in school?

No, we don't have anything like that.

How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well??

Haha lol. I had to be put on antidepressants because I got horrible anxiety throwback over my overall health. They put me on fluoxetine and it works well for me. It even stopped my dermatillomania while nothing else was helpful.

Did you have a Xanga page back in the pre-Myspace days?

Never had either of these.

Around what year did you start using the internet, anyways?

In early 2000s or so. The sound of dial-up modems is still comforting for me, even though h-they haven't been in use for a long time.

Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies?

Yeah, I'm fixated on trains (this is why I love my job), and I'm obsessed wiwth signal identification on the radio. That's definitely uncommon.

What’s something that would make you incredibly happy right now?

Bringing my cat back to life.

What did you do for your 18th birthday?

I was sick lol. Lying in bed with fever.

What temperature do you keep your thermostat set at in the winter?

Either 20°C or 21°C.

Have you ever been to the Caribbean?

No, never. But I would like to.

Have you ever fostered an animal?

Nah, I kept all the kitties I rescued.

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

Some veggie salad.

What’s your favorite form of exercise?

Walking. Back in time, playing basketball.

Have you ever drank so much that you passed out?

Yup, but I still remember I was crying over someone's death.

[dawnowar]

Spending my Xmas days off cleaning the house

Went to get my annual eye exam today before the end of the year and my prescription hasn't changed which is cool because i have roughly 50 pairs of glasses now and I don't want to have to start over. Makes me want to buy more even though i clearly do not need more but that never stopped me before.

I was going to take myself out for chicken wings so i asked where the best ones are and then went there. It was a sports bar with a big "seat yourself" sign, so I did and promptly got completely ignored by everyone who works there. As i sat on the uncomfortable chair waiting for no one to take my order I noticed how much i hate this place and the crowd that came with it and the many blaring TV with football games on it, so I left and ordered wings from Sheetz from my phone in the parking lot which were ready in the time it took me to drive there and pick them up.

Ate wings with my cats on my comfy sofa in my own time which made me much happier. Got a good shake too for less money than it would have cost me at the sports bar and then i would have had to tip the waitress for giving me shitty service on top of it.

Yeah i know its Christmas Eve Day and a Sunday at that and maybe its not the best day/time to happen into a sports bar that's one of the places staying open for people to drink at on Xmas Eve but whatever. I had a shitty experience and I'm not sorry for leaving.

I'm doing laundry including all the various holiday themed outfits so i can put them away and the bedding and anything I've been meaning to wash and not getting to. I decluttered a lot of the living room and i have intentions of decluttering the bathroom and cleaning the kitchen before the holiday is over.

I have a frozen lasagne for dinner tonight and some texas toast. It's not a typical tradition but it's mine.

I've been sick for a couple of months. All normal stuff just one sickness after another. I havent been well for more than a few days before i get the next thing and i'm so ready to be well again but I didn't go out to the before-christmas parties and I guess im glad because it seems everyone got covid at a thing I skipped so I stopped feeling bad about not going out now I'm well enough to go out again.

In fact ive been collecting clothes and makeup and such. Online shopping while I've been sick for my return to going out again and i just havent gone out again. But its winter now and I ate too much between being sick and inactive and the holidays, i need to diet and exercise again for a bit i think before i get in some of these clothes.

I am expecting to go out for New Years Eve. I like to drink some champagne with strangers in a fancy dress for that holiday.

I have an idea where im going but i dont know what i will wear. But I have choices which is awesome.

I've been taking an estrogen/progesterone cream because I was having hot flashes due to menopause that was waking me up every hour and i was so tired from not being able to sleep properly.

This stuff had me sleeping great right away so I was totally into it but now I'm sleepy all the time even when I don't do anything and I'm cutting the dosage in half hoping that makes some difference.

Not sure what it'll do but im trying it now and not when i need to be at work all day in the morning in case I can't sleep. Last night i did the first half dose and I woke up hungry in the middle of the night but i didn't wake up with a hot flash so it was inconclusive.

I don't miss the hot flashes and I'm sure i'd rather be overtired from estrogen than sleep-deprived from lack of estrogen but hoping to find a happy medium where im not tired all the time.

I dont care a thing about Christmas but im happy to have these days off. We should get a bunch of days off every two or three months just because imho.

To catch up on what you need to catch up on and do Drs appointments and service your car and shit.

I pretty much gave up on 2023 a few weeks ago when I realized I basically wasnt going to be well enough to do any of the fun holiday stuff and I may as well just stay home and clean. I'm fine with all this. It needs to be done and the more I do the more I start to feel like I'm reclaiming my life as I am reclaiming my house.

So its time to fold and put away the laundry in the dryer and rotate in another load.

Happy Holidays.

[surveysand]

seven.

Have you ever cheated at a card game? yes. anyone who says "no" is lying, lol. Tell me what colors you’re wearing right now? navy blue and black. Have you ever wandered around drunk with your friend? yes. Are you longing for the day that you’ll be an adult? (If you’re not already) i'm currently an adult. Have you ever felt like your heart actually stopped? yes.

Are you a fast runner? no. What’s something you’ve vowed to never eat? i'll try anything. Do you have a “poker face”? depends on the situation, i guess. Are you good at holding back your laughter if needed? yes. Do any of your friends shamelessly burp or fart in public? my partner does and it annoys the hell out of me. some of my friends do, too. When was the last time you had a good cry? yesterday. i cry all the time, haha. Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you? yes. Have you ever had a “thumb war” with someone? many times. Have you ever been so unfortunate to suffer from a hangover? only once or twice, thankfully. If you need a job, will you take whatever you can get? yes when it comes to the job type. no regarding the pay, i need a certain minimum or else i wouldn't be able to afford my rent. Time goes by faster as you get older, don’t you find? yes. Have you ever had a panic attack? two that i can think of. Are you deathly allergic to anything? no. Have you ever had a mouse in your house? yes, my apartment has had a few. i hate them with all of my being. i don't do critters or bugs. Do you know what you want for your dream house? yes. Have you ever seen the movie the Notebook? no. If you download torrents, what torrent program do you use? i don't download torrents. If you go to school, will this year be different? just graduated from college. no school for me this year. Do you know anyone who DOESN’T have an ex? yes. Are you able to count to ten in another language? yes. Is there something you know you have to do, but haven’t done it yet? yes. Is anyone you know really religious? yes. Can you sing? i'm decent. nothing extraordinary, but not bad either. Have you ever read “Gone With the Wind”? no. Are your eyebrows naturally thick? i don't think so. they're average-sized i would say. Have you ever attempted to cut your own hair? no. Has speaking in front of people ever made you sick? i might feel nervous, but have never gotten physically sick over it. i'm fine once i start talking. the waiting kills me. Have you ever wanted to tell someone how you felt, but never did? yes.

What was the last movie that made you teary-eyed? disneynature african cats, the documentary i watched with my partner yesterday. i cried at several points, lol. Do you check your email daily? yes. Have you ever breathed in helium? yes. Do you try to be confident and positive about your future? yes, though i could definitely be better. When was the last time you felt disappointed in yourself? last week when i didn't get a job offer after i thought the interview had gone really well. Have you ever owned a garden? no. Who was the last person to text you? my partner. Have you had two friends that absolutely hated each other? yes. Do you ever find yourself trying to be the referee amongst your friends? not anymore as my friend group has never really fought, but i always felt like a referee in my high school friend group. Has a laptop ever burned your legs? my old one did all the time. it still does when i break it out to play the sims 4, lol. Do you know anyone who has a scar through their eyebrow? no. Who was the last person to flip you off? no idea. Are you doing anything the day after tomorrow? no. Anyone’s birthday coming up soon? my youngest cousin's birthday. Would you ever wear fake eyelashes? yes. Do you make the effort to smile at people? not unless they smile at me first. Are you good at following directions? i guess. Have you ever just screamed really loud in an attempt to feel better? yes. Are you in any way, still a child at heart? yes. Quality triumphs over quantity, correct? yes. Have you ever danced when there was no music playing? yes. Do you have someone that you can just act a fool with and not care? a few people. From where you’re sitting, can you touch a wall? yes. Have you received a text today that made you go “wtf”? no. When at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap? no. Are you even feeling the least bit tired? yes, i'm probably gonna head to bed soon. Is there currently any caffeine or alcohol in your system? no. Do you prefer electric or manual pencil sharpeners? manual. i feel like they always worked better. Are your biceps at all noticeable? no. Have you ever seen a walrus? no. When it comes to dropping food, do you believe in the 10 second rule? no. my dog sheds so much that, despite any amount of sweeping, the second a piece of food hits the ground, it has dog hair on it. also, the ground anywhere is probably nasty, lol. If given the opportunity, would you ride on a camel? yes. Do you believe that cellphones actually do cause cancer? i wouldn't be surprised. When people you know cry, does it make you feel like crying too? depends who it is. Were you single last Valentine’s Day? no. Do you tend to jump to conclusions? no. Are you good at remembering your friends’ birthdays? yes. Is there something you need to do, that you’re trying to avoid doing? yes.

[hikarikeeper]

random tag (1)

(I don't know why I keep this tag lol, but here we go)

What is your name? Ange..

Do you know why you were named that? yeah (are you gonna say why? :>) they didn't ask to say why? (lol xD)

Are you single or taken? ummmh……. taken… taken as a joke.

Have any abilities or powers? yeah..

Stop being a Mary-sue! what.. who?… (he has unforgivably more weaknesses than abilities, back off already.)

What's your eye color? limegreen

How about hair color? milk chocolate color..

Have any family members? never had. I have something like founded family, but I not sure anymore..

Oh? How about pets? no..

That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like I don't like liars, traitors and hypocrites.. also don't like other people's touch.. i only allow it to those i trust..

Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? playing guitar and singing.. but i'm doing it only when i'm alone.

Have you ever hurt anyone in anyway before? ….. sigh who hasn't done it?.. I mean, you can't avoid hurting someone.. i don't usually do this on purpose. But not so long ago, i hurt someone who trusted me.. I… still hate myself for this.. i usually don't care about sins, but this.. I consider it my personal sin.

Ever… killed anyone before? n… ..maybe.

What kind of animal are you? mew.

Name your worst habits? I have no idea which ones are good or bad.. is licking face of those who tried to kill you is considered as a bad habit? (Well I dunno, you're just out of this world. Typical ginger cat i'd say.)

Do you look up to anyone at all? … any point of this?

Are you Gay, Straight, or Bisexual? asexual. (gay gay homosexual gay) =_=

Do you go to school? nope..

Ever wanna marry and have kids one day? HOLY F- NO. …I want someone who won't leave me because they're tired of me or for some other reason. But I no longer believe that this can happen to me at all..

Do you have fangirls/fanboys? how i should know that?.. i don't think so.

What are you most afraid of? I have long forgotten how to be afraid of something.. even if i have some fears and phobias, it's a little different thing.

What do you usually wear? clothes. (will stop being so mischievous lol) why they asking this? who cares? (and now you wondering why you still alone..) rub salt on the wound.

Well, it's still not over! D:

What class are you? (low class, middle class, high class) … what?… blank uncomprehending look

How many friends do you have? ..i no longer understand what friendship means to people… but.. i have at least one, i guess…

What are your thoughts on pie? mew…?

Favorite drink? milkshake (and sometimes alcohol.) shush.

What's your favorite place? i don't think i have it.. they destroyed it. it was the best place to watch sunsets..

Are you interested in anyone~? hm…. and if they are not interested in me, what is the point of hoping for something?

If you're a girl, what's your cup size? If you're a guy, how big are you? ..the hell wrong with you….

Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? I'd rather not swim at all.. I swim like a log.. kinda, able to float on the water but i never learn to swim.. besides, contact with water makes me weaker, and if too long - even sick, and will slowly kills me.

What's your type? ?…. (well, like a type of people) … Is it about appearance or personality? (uh..)

Any fetishes? wh.. what? (good question)

Seme or uke whatever you want >:| stop asking such strange questions.

Camping or indoors? adventures..

Are you still wanting the quiz to end? it's okay, but some questions.. well… ugh… Well, it's over! Now tag five people! (lol nope :>)

[rpclefairy]

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒

❛ all the sudden i got a random burst of energy, and i think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shut down. ❜

❛ i'm not superstitious... but i am a little stitious. ❜

❛ when someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response. ❜

❛ not trying to brag or anything, but i can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so... ❜

❛ i came out here to attack people and i'm honestly having such a good time right now. ❜

❛ fool me once, i’m gonna kill you. ❜

❛ i feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

❛ died and came back as a cowboy, i call that reintarnation. ❜

❛ you can't wake up if you never got to sleep. ❜

❛ you can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'are we about to kiss?' ❜

❛ you seem familiar, have i threatened you before? ❜

❛ some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice i’m willing to make. ❜

❛ if i can't cause tiny bits of chaos every day, i think my body will shut down. ❜

❛ theater kids are just choir kids who joined forces with the band and strings kids. ❜

❛ i am very small and i have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that i'm under. ❜

❛ maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. but i hope not, because i can’t spend friendship on new clothes. ❜

❛ okay stop asking me if i'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. i identify as a fucking threat. ❜

❛ i'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on. ❜

❛ what doesn't kill me should run, because now i'm fucking pissed. ❜

❛ my life isn’t as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like. ❜

❛ i’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. neither do i. i have never died even once. nothing has been proven yet. stop making assumptions. ❜

❛ if you can’t beat them, dress better than them. ❜

❛ 'person of interest' is almost too flattering. ❜

❛ drink your school, stay in drugs, and get 8 hours of drugs. ❜

❛ physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll. ❜

❛ you’ll have a hard time believing this because it never happens but i made a mistake. ❜

❛ my expectations were low but holy fuck. ❜

❛ well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that i fucked up bad. ❜

❛ dear friend, your gift this year… is me. that’s right, another year of friendship. your membership has been renewed. ❜

❛ i’ve come to a point in my life where i need a stronger word than fuck. ❜

❛ i have met some of the most insufferable people. but they also met me. ❜

❛ new year, same me. because i'm perfect. ❜

❛ just because i'm too short to reach the lowest self in the cabinet doesn't mean you shouldn't watch out for your kneecaps. ❜

❛ forgive me father, for i have sinny-sin-sinned. ❜

❛ so apparently the 'bad vibes' i’ve been feeling are actually severe psychological distress. ❜

❛ with great power comes great need to take a nap. wake me up later. ❜

❛ behold, the field in which i grow my fucks! lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren! ❜

❛ sometimes i'll start a sentence and i don't even know where it's going. i just hope i find it along the way. ❜

❛ i was born for politics. i have great hair and i love lying. ❜

❛ schrödinger’s cat is overrated. if you wanna see something that’s ❛ both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day. ❜

[snakeningel]

Heard you wanted Dracula prompts? how about: Seward suitor squad sandwich. That's it, that's what I've got. Feel free to run with it if you're so inspired.

bet.

Arthur Holmwood's Diary, Written in by Quincey P. Morris, October 14th

The sun isn't up yet, so I'll take this time to write. Journalling ain't usually my thing, but some good's gotta come outta this whole vampire mess, and I'm certainly not gonna lose this memory to time or whatever meets us in Varna. Art — if you're reading this, I hope you don't mind I nicked that journal of yours. I don't have one of my own, and I know you well enough that I'm sure you'd want a record of last night too.

The three of us have been through a lot. Probably more adventures than those folks who call themselves blood brothers. We know everything about each other. Art, I know you like to gussy up your animals when you're too worried to think straight, and I've heard that I cling to people when I'm dead asleep. So I don't know why Jack thought we didn't notice him shivering up a storm in that bunk of his. He's always the first one to feel the chill, but Lord forbid the man actually open his mouth to say something about it. Art told me it was something about medical school and blood pressure that got Jack to seal his lips? Some theory about womenfolk being more susceptible to the chill, I think. Now the man would rather let his skin go blue than admit that he needs some warm bodies by his side. But it's not like anyone in this group of ours is inclined to judge anything, and at the very least, Art and I already knew about what the doctor didn't want people to suspect. Mina was even snuggled up, happy as a clam with that husband of hers. The two of them made for such a pretty picture, and I can't think why Jack was so against being like them, all warm and comfortable-like. It's not like he would ever get mad at me though, so I went and cozied up with our darling doctor. That wasn't entirely altruistic on my part. A warm body can help stave off the cold, but the presence of a true, dear friend is more than needed to fight off that darkness that we see ahead. I told Jack as much. The man won't take handouts, but he'd do anything to help his own. He's got a heart as pure as gold beneath all that gloom; besides the professor of his, I can think of no better shepherd of the sick. He held himself stiffly for the first few moments, but soon enough he was melted to my chest like a frozen cold kitten scooped up off of the ground. Art, of course, was not one to be left out, and he was bright enough to see our doctor begin to flush and think of propriety. With the smarts of the hunter he is, he strolled over and laid himself down across our laps, all cat that got the canary like. Jack certainly wasn't going to stand up and cause our lordling to topple to the floor, so the poor lad was trapped between our affections. The darling thinks himself subtle, but both Art and I are sharp enough to notice the relieved smile that curled at the edges of his pretty lips. Even without the threat of someone standing up, Art's position was far too precarious for my liking. So I tugged the two of them back with me, arranging us all on the bed more comfortably than how we had been perching on the edge. It's sweet how Jack flushes whenever I haul him around, but I wasn't inclined to embarrass him further, so I didn't say much to that effect. The three of us have bunked in worse places than a traincar that's just a tad too cold, so we settled quickly enough into a position that's comfortable for all of us. Just as I like to cling with my dear ones in my arms, Jack likes to feel the weight of something solid on both sides of him; spending too long in the realm of the mind probably leaves him needing a reminder of what is solid and real. Art, of course, managed to take up more space than we thought possible, stretching across the two of us like he was making his claim. There was a moment of silent peace, all of us understanding each other without a word shared. But our doctor couldn't stop his buzzing brain, and soon enough he opened his mouth to speak.

"What if-"

It doesn't take the brightest mind to figure out that he was going to let himself discuss only the worst possibilities, so with all the grace that I could never muster, Art rumbled out the sweetest, laziest whine into Jack's chest. That was enough to stop that train of thought in its tracks. The claim that Art holds over our Jack's heartstrings is nothing short of impressive, but they've had decades to grow fond of each other, I suppose. Still, such an efficient shutdown of Jack's overthinking ways did tickle me, so I suppose a chuckle escaped my mouth. Again, our doctor goes red, though I suppose the rumble of my chest against his face sparked some other, better thoughts in his head. I wish he knew that he need only ask, and both Art and I would be happy to do whatever he wished to him. But this isn't time to push; perhaps after we come back from this latest adventure of ours, we'll sit our boy down to run another gauntlet of proposals.

But I'm not keen thinking too far into an uncertain future. There's no point until the evil we're hunting is cold and scattered on the wind. At some point, the warmth and comfort lulled us to sleep; I couldn't tell who went first into that land of rest, but as with all things, those of us left behind wasted no time to follow. That's where Art and Jack still are now, finally getting the rest and comfort we've all been neglecting of late. The train is still rolling along to our destination, and no matter what we face in Varna, I am happy to know that this moment will not slip into the oft-forgotten past. The two of them don't look like they will be stirring anytime soon, so I suppose I will return and join them for as long as they will have me.