#i'm so glad they did him so well this episode
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alittlesliceofcucumber · 12 days ago
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Some of my favourite Jarvis moments from What If...? Season 3 Episode 2
1. he runnin
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2. 4 eyerolls in the span of 5 minutes (howard stark caused all of them)
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3. their dynamic in a nutshell
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4. bernard stark moment
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5. they really went all-out with his microexpressions and i cannot thank them enough for it
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6. (looks into the camera like he's on the office)
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7. he's allowed to be a little snooty. as a treat. (plus kicked puppy look)
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8. live jarvis reactions
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9. my man knows something's up
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10. just keep rolling, just keep rolling...
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bonus: can't believe this is the position we last see him in. babygirl behaviour.
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jacklesraised · 1 year ago
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Emily Browning.
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sskk-manifesto · 24 days ago
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(´。• ◡ •。`)
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goldenfire357 · 5 months ago
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I'm not really into this fandom anymore, but I'm STILL REBLOGGING IT ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!
Guys trust it's a good movie. You may not like the show, but the movie is infinitely better because it's way more serious and dark compared to the show. What's crazy is that Leo was actually supposed to DIE in this movie originally, but he didn't because of one thing: Hope. Which is US FANS!!!! Like literally, I always saw the symbolism in this movie as Nickelodeon trying to cancel RiseTMNT.
Kraang=Nickelodeon
Hope=Fans
Turtles(mainly Leo)=RiseTMNT show
If it wasn't for us, then Leo would've quite literally died in this movie, just like the show could've died, but technically it didn't. From what I know, it is seemingly "ON PAUSE." Sooo yeah, go watch it on Netflix. If you don't want to, then at least give it a like. Two likes. The double thumbs up please!
MILD SPOILERS START HERE!!!
Honestly, last year I used to LOVE this movie. I would think about it everyday, jot down concepts that I want to draw and only draw 10% of those ideas ;) I wouldn't say I have a favorite turtle(at least in Rise, in 2012 that's Mikey) but I hated how weirdly underrated Rise!Raph was in his OWN fandom. So most of my TMNT thoughts were mainly about him because he needs some love :(
Believe it or not, I didn't watch the season 2 finale. I couldn't because I don't have Paramount Plus. But I pretty much know what happened. I honestly still think it was downright FOUL that Splinter decided to make Leo leader and replace Raph.
Imagine practically being a big brother/second parent to three younger brothers(two of them desiring for approval and recognition) and taking care of them while your dad goes through a depressive spell and automatically being enrolled leader because you're the oldest, only to be really bad at it and have all of that pressure on you to do better to protect your family or else they'll all end up dead and you'll be alone forever, so you sacrifice yourself FOUR TIMES(maybe more, read the tags if you don't know) and then you actually DO better around the end of season 2 along with having reassurance that you aren't alone and then they "Anata wa hitori janai'ed" that bitch Shredder and they save the city and your leader skills have finally improved and you were finally do good............but NOO. Then your neglective(but trying) dad then decides to swap your leader role with your younger brother LEO with NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER. I'm honestly surprised he wasn't way angrier with Leo after that. The only reason he gets mad in the movie is because Leo isn't taking "Anata wa hitori janai" seriously(basically he doesn't want to work as a team) Raph actually wasn't mad at him for taking his role, and that takes MAD PATIENCE. Guess he's called a MadDog for a reason.
But let's be honest, it makes perfect sense why Leo was chosen as leader. Sure, he's a jokester and takes situations lightly, but at times, he was shown to have WAY more leadership qualities than Raph did such as quick planning and keeping calm under pressure, which were two things Raph ABSOLUTELY struggled with. And another thing is that Splinter noticed these qualities in Leo, especially in S1 Finale/ S2E1, and knew he was leader potential. As for Raph, well... it's been a while since I saw the show, but I assume he only saw the worst of his leader moments. And most importantly, he didn't see Raph's breakdown in the S2 finale where he literally did an emotional trustfall off of a cliff. So these factors inclined him to choose Leo as the leader(in the worst way possible).
Besides, Leo IS leadership potential, but he has no confidence in himself. Despite his humourous exterior which makes him appear overconfident and cocky, he really has no faith in himself. And he doesn't think he's a worthy edition to the team. So when Splinter elects him as leader, even he is surprised by his choice. And ever since that, he's been trying to do stuff his way, and alone, so that he can finally proof himself worthy of a leader, and as a creature. Problem is, that actually makes everything WORSE especially since the S2 finale's message was about TEAMWORK. "Anata wa hitori janai"= "You are not alone." And Leo just ignores all of that. And it bites him back in the shell in the worst way possible in the movie.
I want to talk about Mikey and Donnie and the movie, but I wrote WAYYYY too much and I have stuff to do. So yeah, give this show it's recognition!
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Hey RISE FAM! Time to join the event!
Watch the movie! Post about it! TODAY IS THE DAY! Spam the hashtags! Let’s confuse Netflix AND Nickelodeon and show them that the show is NOT going down without a fight! Shell yeah!
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spxllcxstxr · 24 days ago
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How Jayce and Viktor Help Their S/O Deal with Their Depression • Headcanon
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(Gif not mine)
Request: heyy :)) could you please write some jayvik x reader headcannons for how they would help reader deal with depression? -- anon
Warnings: gn!reader, depression/depressive episode mentions, nothing graphic, depression is different for everyone though I did try to keep it generalized
A.N: bit of a short one (sorry about that lol), please remember that there are people here to listen to you--don't suffer in silence, you are amazing
Jayce and Viktor were no strangers to bouts of depression and depressive episodes. It was something Viktor struggled with from a young age and something Jayce started dealing with when he became Piltover’s Golden Boy. As a result of this, Jayce and Viktor are able to help you in any way you need
Considering there are many ways depression can present itself, Jayce and Viktor ask you questions on what you think would help you the most. If you like grand gestures, they will happily do anything for you. On the other hand, if you want something more subdued or just a shoulder to cry on and am ear to listen, they are absolutely there for you
Jayce and Viktor compliment each other as partners pretty well because what one may lack, the other makes up for. Jayce isn't the best with words and actually getting what he's thinking out. He is absolutely in awe of your very being and he is so in love with you, but seeing you hurting is just so painful for him--he believes that he could never accurately describe how much you mean to him in words. That being said, he is great with physical comfort. If you need to simply lay in bed with someone's arms wrapped tightly around you, Jayce is perfect for that. He loves rocking you back and forth, hands rubbing circles across your back, lips pressed to your forehead. If you need a good cry, Jayce's muscular body is perfect for that
Viktor is mostly the other way around. He is great with explaining himself while not one for massive physical expression. He is the one that will sit you down in front of him, amber eyes staring into your own, while giving you the reassurance that you need. Viktor will hold onto your hands and listen to everything you say and also have actual advice for you. He may not know all the answers, he says, but he'll be with you every step of the way
They both do little things to remind you how much they care about you; like bringing home little trinkets or flowers for you or sometimes they'll cook or get your favorite food for dinner. If you need a distraction and are up for it, they'll take you on a walk down the streets of Piltover, maybe to find a bar or a little shop that you can explore. Anything that'll get your mind off of it
While Jayce and Viktor (especially Viktor) are workaholics, they would drop anything and everything for their partners. Your partners will happily bring their work home, no matter how many notebooks filled with scribbles and various equations they have to heave out of the lab. They know that you're going to feel guilty for pulling them out of the lab, and they shower you with reassurances that it's perfectly ok. Jayce will remind you that even Viktor needs work-from-home days (whether it be for his own mental health reasons or his physical health). Jayce will also make little comments throughout the day like "I'm glad we're working from home today, I can wear comfortable clothes instead of that stuffy councilor's jacket" or "Coffee just tastes better at home than in the lab"
It pains the both of them to see you suffering but they know from experience that sometimes there are just bad days. They are never disappointed in you if you're having a depressive episode or just a low-energy day. Just remember that they love you--they are always there for you no matter what
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dduane · 3 months ago
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It's @petermorwood's birthday.
And look at that pic. He's staring at an empty street (it's Exchequer Street in Dublin, seen from the old Exchequer Pub, presently moved down into Ranelagh due to post-COVID stuff) and he still can't keep a straight face.
He's always smiling.
It's what he does. It's not like you don't get scowls out of him sometimes (routinely having to do with the idiocy of people in local/national/world politics). His thoughtful face is routinely on display during the day: like any other responsible adult, from hour to hour he takes in what the current world has to show him, and processes it as best he can. Yet the smile keeps breaking out.
It's usually kinda dry. He's all too aware of the ways any given day can betray you as it unfolds. And this is a man who (years back) was found appropriate to be trained to handle flying machines that could drop what his then-colleagues referred to as "buckets of instant sunshine."
Yet he stepped away from that and got busy with his first Bachelors' degree, the one that had to do with detailed analysis of Chaucer. (Leaving us with the more or less inevitable conclusion that only Geoffrey Chaucer could save us from a Peter Morwood who'd been handed strategic nuclear weapons.)
Since then his preferences have taken him in all kinds of different directions: some of them folkloric (based on childhood reading) and some to do with military concerns both ancient (reaching back to the 1100s and thereabouts) and modern (don't get him started about tanks). He is well-read, thoughtful about what he has read, willing to have his opinions changed by newer data, and always looking for new things to learn about. All of this stuff gets into his fiction, which we're looking forward to bringing into more widespread release in the next year or so as old contracts expire.
Not that I give a shit about that. I didn't just marry some writer. I married Peter Morwood. Every day I wake up next to him, I'm glad he was born. And (what a surprise) I'll be glad about it tomorrow.
...Even if I did marry a snorer. :)
ETA: For those who've expressed concern, the snoring is entirely episodic, is not indicative of respiratory issues, and does not require medical intervention. (Also: it's a Sherlock joke.)
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fivelilas · 5 months ago
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What Aidan said on Patreon about fivelila and the program:
●fivelila
X: Aidan, What was the most difficult scene for you to film in season 4?👀
Aidan:
I think the kiss...it was hard to make it real. I really had to let go of myself and be Five. It's really not easy to give a kiss and make it real. There's a lot of the relationship with Lila that we filmed but they cut it. It took weeks to film it and they used a few minutes in a montage. That wasn't right. It also made it very hard for viewers to believe when we spent weeks filming scenes to set up that scenario Ritu and I were there for weeks before someone else came to Canada to film our secret scenes first
There are also articles online that are not true. For example, David never had any problem with the romance between Lila and Five. Neither did Ritu. That's completely made up to attract clicks.
● umbrella academy
X: What was the most difficult thing for you recording the last season
Aidan:
Knowing it was the end
We also didn't know how it would end. Steve always hides the last script until the very end.
Steve basically wrote what he wanted and we were paid to do it.
No cast member has a vote on anything.
I would change it back to the original 10 episodes that Steve wrote.
When Netflix told him to cut it down to 6 episodes and remove all the expensive scenes, I'm sure that hurt the season a lot. It's like reading a well written story that has everything you ever wanted to explain about the show.
I mean, I understand that the show was no longer profitable, so it was a business decision.
We were lucky to be able to get a fourth season; it was actually a gift from Netflix to the fans because they didn't make any money on it
Actually, you should thank them for season 4. Any other network would have just cancelled the show. I heard they tried for years to fix the deal with UCP to make it profitable to move forward and UCP didn't do it.
OK, so UCP owns the show and struck a deal with Netflix to distribute it on their network. But with each season, the show cost Netflix more and more money from UCP. By season 4, it was no longer profitable
Anyway, I'm glad they made UA. It almost never got made. For years it was going to be a movie
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homebeccer · 5 months ago
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Lukewarm take but I'm really not happy w the BNHA ending - and yeah it's easy for me to sit back at my "corporate" nine to five and shake my head and criticize a professional author but I mean. C'mon. People are joking about "Quirk: All for What" and yeah genuinely it was all for what? Deku already had the heart and soul of a hero he just didn't have a quirk to help him compete in the superhero society that existed. At the end of episode one I thought the show was going to be Deku using his knowledge and observations about quirks to find their weaknesses and use them against the villain and fight crime like that, but then he gets a quirk. Paradigm shift. This is the reality of the narrative for the rest of the series. The majority of his journey was training his body and honing his quirk. He didn't learn any lessons about being a hero - Iida learned more about the true attitude of a hero à la Stain and maybe Deku learned about the power of friendship in the vigilante arc (or would, if any of his classmates still had characters to speak of). Deku has everything it takes to be a hero except a power. Then he gets it. Then it's taken away again in the eleventh hour. Then it's given back at 11:30. Like. For why.
Y'know whose narrative would have been made so rich by losing their quirk? Bakugo. He had the quirk of a hero and the heart of Not a Hero to start off the story. He was Deku's narrative foil, and for all the story's faults they really did a decent job with his character. For him to lose his quirk at the end of the story and resign himself to chasing after Deku (who until the events of the story had been chasing him) would have made a powerful bookend. Bakugo was coasting on his power while having a nasty personality, but now that he's grown and learned and matured it would have been a good way to really Show that growth. Have him get the super suit with gauntlets that set off explosions. He does just fine as a pro hero, just not of his own power, and he's okay with that.
I think Horikoshi is a really really really good idea guy, like Moffat or Butch Hartman or any of those other types. It's the follow through that doesn't... Well ... Follow through. There's people who will disagree and think the ending is satisfactory and that's fine, I'm glad you enjoyed it! This has just been turning around in my brain for a bit and I wanted to type it out.
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thebroccolination · 21 days ago
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THE EXPERTLY LAYERED WRITING IN THAMEPO'S FIRST EPISODE
My dudes.
The last time I was this jazzed about a series from the very first episode, I was watching Be My Favorite, which went on to become my favorite Thai series. Some of that was because of Krist's talent and charisma as Kawi, some of it was the chemistry between Krist and Gawin, some was the music, some was the production value overall, but most of it was the writing.
SO LET'S TALK ABOUT THE WRITING IN THAMEPO.
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While I was watching the premiere of ThamePo yesterday, I messaged @hallowpen to rave about the script. "It has stakes!" I wrote. "A time limit! Character arcs!" Then they asked me who the director was, and when I told them it's Mui (Aticha Tanthanawigrai), they essentially said, "That makes sense."
Because Mui isn't only a director—she's primarily a scriptwriter.
And she definitely seems to know what she's doing.
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The first episode has to do so much right to hook an audience and create a solid foundation for subsequent episodes.
It has to introduce the protagonist in their normal circumstances, then quickly endear them to the audience, establish what they want, show the obstacle(s) in their way, and give people a reason to keep watching. Do this while avoiding the traps of info-dumping or weighing down the narrative with too many characters at once. You have to build just enough of a structure to pique curiosity, but not so much that people can guess where the story is going.
ThamePo did all of that, and beautifully.
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In the first scene, Po is interviewing for a creative job so he can return to his passion after spending three years helping Earn, his ex-boyfriend, achieve his goals. This interview shows us that Po is earnest and honest to a fault, which is helpful for endearing him to the audience, but a well-written scene is usually doing more than one thing. At the end of his short interview, the interviewers tell Po that his reason for taking a break was off-putting, and they advise him not to be quite so truthful in the future.
I'm curious if Po learning how to use his natural earnestness effectively will be part of his character arc. Because later in the episode, Po decides to embrace a mild level of dishonesty to get the job with ONER. He reluctantly agrees to give them a resume that his friend edited to sound more flattering, and in his interview, he…embellishes the truth.
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This is the first time we see a flashback to the one time Po went to a MARS event to take photos for his friend, and it's fairly unremarkable on the surface. Just a quick shot of him in the crowd—one of many—and then a shot of him editing the footage at home.
No sign that this is setting up some fantastic layering in the script.
Now, before I go on, I just want to say that, y'know, stakes and character arcs and obstacles and time limits are all extremely basic facets of a story. The reason I'm excited that ThamePo has them is because a lot of the queer Thai series I've seen throughout the past five years…haven't had them. Especially in the onslaught of hundreds of BL and GL series produced in the past two years, the vast majority of them just seem to have been slapped together. A rough first draft kicked onto a smoking conveyer belt bleeding text and plot points.
But Be My Favorite is as good as it is in part because Waa campaigned for more time to work on the script. And ThamePo was apparently in the works for five years before Mui found the cast she wanted.
Good stories take time to create, so I'm glad that there are a small number of series actually getting that time.
Okay, so!
Let's talk layering.
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Thame's first words to Po are, "Are you a sasaeng?"
For the uninitiated, sasaeng fans are an ever-growing concern in celebrity spaces, and given how much leeway GMMTV has given to sasaeng behavior in the past, I'm surprised and glad to see them allowing them to be a negative plot point.*
*Truthfully, I don't think you can tell an authentic story about modern-day celebrities without at least mentioning the horrific effects that sasaeng culture have on them.
Later, we find out that Thame saw Po at the fan meeting, and Thame gives Po the options of quitting on his own or being fired after Thame exposes the footage he's found.
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So now we've seen this fan meeting twice: once from Po's perspective as a job he did for a friend, and now from Thame's perspective noticing some guy in the crowd.
We're incrementally getting more information as it becomes relevant.
And then, finally, after Po convinces Thame that he isn't a sasaeng or even a fan, Thame reveals the part that matters most to the story going forward:
The reason he remembered Po is because, in a crowd of people screaming to get his attention for their own sake, Po was the only one trying to help someone else. And I think that's another hint at Po's character arc: Earn took advantage of his earnestness and his selflessness and hurt him deeply, but he shouldn't have to give up that gentle side of himself to be happy.
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This third layer shows us the most important detail of this moment and why the episode keeps coming back to it: this brief memory meant something to Thame.
I think the reason Thame was so aggressive to Po in the office when they met for the first time wasn't just that Thame suspected Po was a sasaeng.
Look at Thame's face in that last screencap: it touched his heart to see someone he assumed was a fan helping a younger, smaller fan. In a cut-throat industry where fame is mercurial, the public is vicious, the media poisonous, and fans fickle, little moments of genuine humanity and kindness must be priceless to the celebrities at the center of it all.
So, from Thame's perspective, recognizing that same "fan" at his workplace? Thinking that fan was intentionally filming a vulnerable moment between him and the CEO? It probably spoiled that precious memory. Maybe even introduced the possibility that Po just used an innocent child that day to manipulate Thame's emotions.
How little does Thame have in his life? We don't know yet, but maybe little moments like that are all that's propping him up anymore.
And we can garner all of this from the gradual layering of one scene.
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That one fleeting moment from their shared past shapes everything for Thame and Po going forward. For Po, he was doing a favor for a friend and added an offhand gesture to a child. But for Thame, it was a ray of sincerity in a dangerously murky world he seems to feel strangled by.
One of my favorite directing and character choices in this episode is that Thame is soft-spoken in both anger and vulnerability. He's so tightly controlled at all times because of his public-facing job, and he's in such a low place emotionally, but he hasn't lost his kindness, either. Once he knows Po isn't a threat to him or his fellow members, Thame compliments the work Po's done, and he asks Po to continue his documentary work.
Thame isn't Earn. Po projects that onto him and quickly learns he's wrong.
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(I really hope earnestness ends up being one of the main motifs in this series, because it suits both characters so well, and the world they're both in now makes living earnestly extremely challenging.)
All in all, the first episode exceeded my high expectations. I loved the teaser, I loved the trailer, and I'm delighted with the first episode. I hope the rest of the series lives up to this level of quality, but I'm not worried.
Judging by the writing, I think this series is in good hands. <3
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silverwarewolf · 7 months ago
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DUNGEON MESHI EPISODE 24 THOUGHTS
Oh, I had asked to see what the party's thoughts regarding the changeling situation were, especially when it came to their lifespans, but I didn't think it would turn out like this!
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GOOD FUCKING JOB, CHILCHUCK. YOU'VE TRAUMATIZED MARCILLE EVEN FURTHER. Oh but I do so love the horrors of this situation of theirs. Marcille babygirl I would like to hug you and have a nice chat.
Anywya, on we go to think about Falin and any solutions that might help us here. Which is great! I love how much foreshadowing there is (in terms of what I've been vaguely told about the manga).
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Laios Touden's problem solving skills, everyone.
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That's honestly the SICKEST weapon design, I'm so on board with you Laios. This could be Kensuke's Halloween makeover. BUT DONT JUST TAKE THOSE MUSHROOMS WITH YOU OH MY GOD
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... was this the opening sequence foreshadowing everyone was freaking out about? was that it? (don't actually tell me, though. if it was it, say yes. if it wasn't, don't say anything)
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no comment here I just love them.
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I just will never get used to elfshi's hands being Like That. But it's also kinda nice to see him and Izutsumi working along so nicely! Like, don't even get me started on how Izu is presented as the pickiest eater of the party (Marcille has been dethroned severely) and usually you'd see that presented as a Hassle, but here in DM, Senshi doesn't even bat an eye. He knows and respects Izutsumi's tastes and preferences and works his meals out around it! That's such a based thing for him to do. <3
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This is a renaissance painting. (I love it when they adapt Ryoko Kui's visual gags and I LOVE when she does zoomed in faces like this. Truly one of the artists ever)
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I did not have "Laios gets Pissed On" on my bingo card but every day I grow more and more convinced that the animators KNOW what they're doing and - OH MY GOD IS THAT SENSHI'S DWUSSY. ELFSHI ALTERNATIVE TO PANTY SHOT.
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Ah, yes, Izutsumi sprawls all over them when sleeping, we been knew, again it's a little unexpected to see it front and center but I guess it works to demonstrate them returning to - THAT WAS LAIOS??? AND CHILCHUCK IS JUST LIFTING HIS LEG LIKE THAT?? OKAY THEN. SURE.
(and then there's a few more seconds of laiosfoot and laios bedhead)
BUT HEY THEY'RE BACK TO NORMAL
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1) Yep, they're back to normal.
2) Laios I love you and I love Gothsuke but someone needs to be careful about biohazards and it's not going to be you.
3) Add this to the "Marcille Donato gets threateningly close to you in three steps" folder.
4) Truly only they can match each other's freak. When the NECROMANCER is telling you not to do something, don't do it! I know last time you smuggled a "normal" sword, it turned out to be useful, but I'm sure that's not the case here!
5) Poor Laios tho. I'll learn to blacksmith just to give you a cool sword. <3
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I'm so glad they kept this. One of the silliest touden siblings moments. 10/10 no notes. Also, Falin is never beating the blunt force trauma allegations.
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IS THAT CHILCHUCK'S WIFE. ARE YOU - MA'AM. HELLO?
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"Why aren't you a twink like I thought you'd be?!" gets adapted! (I'm pretty sure that's the scene meant to be here, anyways)
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I get it, girl.
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Oh dear, they're going to eat Falin. And SENSHI was the one to suggest it! For a guy who was just fighting the doubts of accidental cannibalism a week ago, you're taking bold steps forward.
(I do love how it mirrors Laios' kindness back then, in truth. Even if it's an idea so shocking and dire at first, it comes from a place of reason and logic and love)
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Marcille "I said I wanted to eat her OUT, not eat HER" Donato Izutsumi "That's going to taste gross as fuck" Izutsumi Chilchuck "If it brings her back..." Tims Laios Touden, the man with a thousand things on his head right now, two of which I reckon are "I don't want to eat my sister" and "Dragon-Chicken... what might it taste like?"
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Yes, well. Valid as your concerns are, Laios, because how the fuck would five people eat THAT much meat, you can't just ramble on about what dishes you're going to make out of your sister.
(...I get it, though. I mean if you're going to eat, might as well make it good, right? I know no one wants to grill one of Faligon's ribs but I'll go ahead and say it would be worse to tell them to eat her raw)
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FUCK! we DID lose those scenes about the twin bell that toshiro kept!! forever sad about that.
oh my godddd they're going back into the dungeonnn we're going to reunite with themmm
I know they're really fucking competent, I mean, Namari and Toshiro are already described as pretty formidable warriors (and we've seen it), and Kabru is... admittedly much more geared to fight humans but he's a decent fighter either way. And a good leader!
Speaking of, where the fuck is everyone else.
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I know they're meant to be scary (and I suppose they are! If we have the reference that, firstly, marcille is an excellent spellcaster so these elves could be just as good in their own areas of expertise, yes?, and secondly, the canaries are Well Known)
... plus, Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them. Namari, Toshiro and Kabru are wary of them.
BUT damn it Lycion, I need to- (gets dragged off stage)
Anyway, while we wait for the next season (WHICH HAS BEEN GREENLIT! WOHOO!), have these wonderful images of chicken falin being a cathedral painting (...if cathedrals ever added dragons, i guess) and my beloveds, who have finally returned!
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In Every Universe
Well. S2EP7 huh. What a ride. Went back to rewatch parts of it while researching for this fic and man, does it still hit as hard as ever. I suppose the sad Arcane playlist didn't help either.
Right, here it is, the longest piece I've ever written in all my years of fanfiction writing. I'm so glad Arcane existed, for all its flaws I still love the series with my whole heart and especially a certain one-eyed war criminal underground drug lord.
Playlist I listened to while writing this:
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Spoilers for Arcane Season 2 Episode 7 ahead
One moment you're face to face with the arcane itself, and the next you're staring at a wooden ceiling that's somehow familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. There's something warm next to you and your confused mind registers the weight of something on your chest.
Your first instinct is to quickly free yourself, to put some distance between you and the possibly harmful object, so you lash out at it, rolling off the bed. A rather familiar sounding yelp of pain comes from your left, but your disoriented mind can't remember why it sounds so familiar.
"Easy there, love," a voice groans. Your breath catches in your throat when the figure the voice belongs to sleepily sits up, rubbing his eye.
Silco?
You shake your head. This can't be, he's dead, you've seen his body, you know for certain he's dead, but then why are you seeing this? An illusion? A trick of the mind? Hallucinations?
Your mind races through the possibilities, each more absurd than the last. 'Silco' slides off the bed, carefully approaching you as he should and you properly take in his appearance. Gone is his orange and black eye, instead white surrounds a pale yellow iris. His features are softer, sea-foam coloured eye filled with a level of concern and worry you've only seen him show before he became The Eye of Zaun.
"Love?" His voice snaps you out of your thoughts.
You narrow your eyes at him, muscles tensing. "If this is an illusion, it's a terrible one considering you can't even replicate Silco properly."
"What are you talking about, love? The last I checked, I wasn't an illusion," 'Silco' tilts his head in confusion and raises his hands in surrender. "I mean you no harm, love."
Your hands clench into fists. His words may not contain any lies you can detect but you know better than to let down your guard in unfamiliar territory. You shift your foot and lunge at him, tackling 'Silco' to the ground with a snarl. His eye widens but just like the Silco you know, he quickly regains his signature calm and throws you off.
"I don't want to hurt you, love, but you're not giving me much of a choice with that attitude of yours." 'Silco' huffs. His palms remain open but you can see his muscles tense slightly. You continue your barrage of attacks, and he counters them all with practiced ease, as though he's seen those moves a thousand times before.
The both of you dance until you gain the upper hand by pulling out a move that catches him off guard and pin him to the ground. Your hand slips to where you know he hides a dagger but your fingers find nothing, to your surprise. Taking advantage of that moment, 'Silco' rolls out from under you, panting.
"Now now, love. I know we're married but still, warn me before you start feeling me up." He flashes you a cheeky grin, something he hasn't done in a long time and leaves you even more confused. Something isn't adding up, he's both the Silco you know and isn't. He knows your fighting moves, knows how to counter them which proves that he is the Silco you know and he smells like the Silco you know — cigar ash and scotch. However his left eye is different and he doesn't carry Vander's dagger on him at all times. Wait did he say the two of you are married?
"Married?" You echo.
"Don't tell me you lost your memory," he frowns. "You're acting weird today, love, what has gotten into you?"
"You're the weird one!" You spit back. There's no sensible explanation for any of this…unless…
"Everything alright in there? I know I told you two to turn things down especially at night, some of us need to sleep." Yet another familiar voice sounds from outside the door.
Vander?
"Everything's fine, and don't worry you'll be getting the sleep you need every night," 'Silco' drawls before turning back to you. You stare wide-eyed at the door, throat tightening as emotions threaten to overwhelm you. Flashes of your past with the two brothers race through your mind, Vander's easy smile and comforting presence, Silco's sharp wit and seeming indifference towards you and Vander, your laughter and love for them both. A tear slides down your cheek and you bolt from the room, racing down the stairs you know so well and out the bar, only to be met with a city you don't recognise.
Zaun is lit up, the sun shining down on both cities as Zaunites and Piltovians alike walk past you, chatting away. The streets bustle as hawkers call out their wares and golden light shines upon the Bridge of Progress which is further littered with shops instead of blockades and enforcers. Everywhere you look, buildings stand tall and proud, colour decorates the dirty grey city you knew and your heart shatters.
This…is this what could have been?
Your vision blurs from the tears pouring down your face as it hits you. This is an alternate reality, there's no other explanation. A reality where Zaun becomes independent, co-existing as equals with Piltover. A reality where Silco and Vander's dream comes true.
You stand in the middle of the street with tear streaks on your cheeks, eyes puffy and feel so lost until someone drapes something over your shoulders. It's warm, whatever it is, and smells nice.
"I'm right here." Arms gently guide you to rest your head on a familiar shoulder. "Take all the time you need."
You're not sure why but that's all it takes for the dam to break and you find yourself sobbing hard into his shoulder. His arms wrap around you, pulling you closer and you feel his lips press against the top of your head. You hug him tightly, mind still screaming that this is all a dream, but if this is really just all a dream, you don't want to wake up.
Once you've calmed down, you lift your head and Silco smiles softly at you. "Shall we go home?"
You hum in agreement, letting him lead you back to The Last Drop. You can feel his hand resting on the small of your back, his shoulder brushing against yours and lean into the touch, grateful for the support. He feels the same as the Silco you know, and if you close your eyes, you're back there again, before the incident at the bridge, before you were forced to choose between Silco and Vander.
When you enter The Last Drop, 'Vander' slides a glass of your favourite drink towards you while 'Silco' takes a seat next to you.
"Nothing for me?" 'Silco' teases. 'Vander' laughs, but slides him a glass of scotch anyways. 'Silco' takes a sip before placing the cup between the two of you, gently resting his hand on your forearm. You cautiously place your own hand on top of his, it fits the same way as your Silco's hand does, but your Silco is dead and this Silco is alive. Then again your Vander is dead and this Vander is alive.
You sniff the drink in front of you, eyeing it warily. 'Silco' snorts, lifting the glass to his lips and takes a mouthful. "See? Not poisoned. What has gotten into you today?"
You frown, tapping your finger on the counter top as you think of a way to broach this topic. How were you going to explain that somehow, you had been transported into your body from an alternate universe? There was also the nagging question of where Ekko, Heimerdinger and Jayce were, if they were even in this universe as well. You heave a sigh, looking into sea foam and grey eyes.
"Just a nightmare." You can't tell them anything, and doubt they'll believe you anyways. 'Silco' narrows his eyes but 'Vander' places a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. 'Silco' scowls but relents and leaves you alone for the rest of the day, which you spend exploring this alternate reality.
Turns out, this is the reality in which Vi died in the explosion. 'Vander' has different tattoos, but he still betrayed 'Silco' and tried to kill him. How the two made up, well for whatever reason the two seemed adamant about keeping it quiet, but it made your heart ache for what could have been back in your universe.
That night, you can't sleep. Your mind is racing, going through everything you've learnt today. In the dark, you can see 'Silco' peacefully slumbering on his right side, an arm draped over your waist. His chest gently rises and falls with each breath he takes, his face buried into your chest. He looks completely different from your Silco when he sleeps, his dark brown hair tousled, facial muscles relaxed and lips curved into what looks like a smile. Your Silco never slept on his right side, always preferring to sleep on his left side with a dagger clutched under the pillow.
'Silco' mumbles something, stirring slightly and you shift, only for him to blindly grasp for your arm so that he can bury himself further into your chest, bringing a small smile to your face. It's been so long since you've shared your bed with another, maybe you can indulge him just this once. It wouldn't hurt…right?
You run your fingers through his hair, remembering the times where you'd comb his hair for him, gently pressing kisses to his scarred cheek until he told you he had a meeting to attend and then you'd kiss him on the lips for good luck before letting him go. 'Silco' purrs softly, nuzzling into you and holds you closer, a free heater on this cool night.
You miss this. You miss hugging your lover like it's your last moment in this world, you miss his touch, his warmth. You miss the way he holds you tightly when he's feeling down, the feeling of his forehead pressing against yours, the electricity that crackles in the air when his fingers linger on your hand longer than it needs to as he passes you his cigar. You miss the way he makes your heart race from all the small smiles he sends your way during a meeting with the chem-barons, the way he makes you stifle a laugh when he rolls his eye at their bickering, but most of all the way he holds your hand. Your palms have always slotted into each other's like puzzle pieces, made perfectly for one another.
This 'Silco' is the same, yet different, and despite all his faults, you've always loved your Silco. It's why you chose to side with him over Vander, why you walked down the path towards hell with him despite knowing where it led. You knew that given the choice again, you would always choose him over everything else, and if that made you loyal to him to a fault, so be it.
Still, you wonder if you could've steered him towards the path this 'Silco' took. Would you have been able to nudge him towards forgiveness, leaving his hatred and vengeance behind for the shared dream of Zaun? You shake your head, what's past is past, there's no changing it. The only thing you can do now it look forward, and push on ahead, as you know your Silco would want you to, but doing so is so much harder than knowing it.
I love you, the words you were never able to say to him. The both of you always knew how the other felt, but neither of you ever verbalised it. You trace 'Silco's' scars, wondering if this version of you ever uttered those words to him.
"Can't sleep, love?" He mumbles, rolling over so that he can see you.
"It's just…been a long day."
He hums, and then pulls you into a hug, resting his chin on the top of your head. Rubbing gentle circles on your back, he nuzzles your hair. "Then you better get as much rest as you can. I'll be here when you wake up."
Tears begin to fill your eyes again but you squeeze them shut, willing the grief away. If this is a dream, you want it to continue on forever. You don't want to wake up, you don't want to lose Silco and Vander again.
But you still wake up.
Because you have to.
On your second day, you learn that Ekko and Powder are preparing for a competition.
"Ekko?"
"Y/N?"
"Are you —"
"Do you know where we can talk in private?"
You've never been so relieved to hear that.
You learn that Ekko and Heimerdinger have met up, and that Jayce is nowhere to be found. Ekko has a theory that recreating what brought all three of you to this universe in the first place might be able to send you all back home, and he's been trying to do just that the past few days.
"Home," you echo, staring at the bustling city below.
"You…don't want to go back?"
"Do you?" Your question catches him off guard and he pauses, looking at the ground.
"I…I don't know."
"You and Powder, right?" You give him a knowing look and he looks away, embarrassed. "I know the feeling."
He raises an eyebrow but you press on, ignoring the inquisitive look he sends your way. "This world…this universe, it's everything we've wanted. Well, almost everything. Looking at all this, I don't know if I want to go back. Do I want to throw it all away just to go back to bloodshed, chaos and war?"
"We have people back home who need us."
Sevika.
Jinx.
Their faces flash in your mind and your throat constricts.
"We can't just abandon them, as much as we prefer this world." Ekko's eyes are hard. "We have to go back."
It's hurting him to say this, but he's saying it anyways because he knows it's right. You look back at the bright city of Zaun and sigh. Ekko speaks the cold hard truth, but you're torn. Going back means confronting the reality that Vander, and more importantly Silco, are forever lost to you, that Zaun is still struggling in the fight against Piltover, that you have to fight every day to survive, but going back also means reuniting with your closest friend Sevika, your adopted daughter Jinx, and you know they need you as much as you need them.
"I've made my mind up," Ekko turns to leave. "Let me know when you've made yours up. In the meantime, I'll be working on my theory with Heimerdinger."
"…thanks."
"Never thought I'd hear you thank me."
"Well, I never thought I'd end up in an alternate universe, so there."
Ekko snorts and leaves you alone with your thoughts. He's right, it seems this alternate universe is starting to influence you, in a good way from the looks of it. You huff in amusement, letting yourself smile and look out at the silhouette of Piltover in the distance. You owed it to your Silco to see his dream of an equal Zaun and Piltover, and the only way to do that was to go home.
"You doing alright?" You turn to see 'Vander' standing behind you.
"Well, that depends really. Are you talking physically, emotionally or mentally?"
"Even if he doesn't act like it, Silco's worried about you. He's been asking me to talk to you since you won't tell him what's going on."
"Aren't you supposed to keep that last part a secret?" You chuckle. He shrugs, moving over to stand next to you.
"Well, it's out of the bag now, he can't do anything about that. So, are you going to tell me if everything's alright or am I going to have to pry it out of you with alcohol?"
"Hmph." You take a seat and he follows, carefully watching your every move. "If you had to choose between being with the one you love and saving Zaun, which would you pick?"
"I would save Zaun." You blink at him, surprised at the lack of hesitation in his answer. You knew which option he would choose, but the speed at which he gave his answer was unexpected.
"If there's anything I've learnt from all these years, it's that the ones we love are never truly gone. They are right here." He places a hand over his heart. "Felicia, Vi, everyone we've lost, they're kept alive by our memories, our feelings, our thoughts, and are always with us."
"You always know what to say," you huff, choking back the tears. "Never missed a beat, not even once."
"You can always talk to us, little dove. We're always here for you, Silco and I." You throw yourself into Vander's arms, hugging him tightly. He wraps his arms around you in turn, holding you securely in his warm embrace.
Little dove. You never thought you'd hear that nickname again. The dove had died the day you chose to follow Silco down the path towards hell, you still remember the looks of sorrow Vander had given you as you turned your back on him, hate filling your eyes. You'd been angry at him for what he did to Silco, hurled words you wish you could take back, screamed then cried, wrapped in Silco's cold embrace as he whispered of the revenge the both of you would take on Vander.
And you never got the chance to apologise.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," you wail, clutching at his sleeves. "I should never have said any of that, I shouldn't have cursed you, I take it all back, I take it all back."
"I've already long forgiven you." His words are enough to make you break, screaming out your grief over what you've lost forever. You cry and cry, letting out all your regret, the bottled up emotions finally spilling out after years of containing them for the sake of staying strong. Your nails dig into his arms, gripping onto him for support as your body wracks with every cry. The world around you blurs from the tears and you feel your knees buckle but a pair of strong arms catch you.
"I've got you."
Your body squeezes out one last sob before it collapses, unable to bear the weight of it all anymore.
If only I had your back the same way you always had mine.
When you next open your eyes, you're back on your shared bed with 'Silco', with a singular sea foam coloured eye watching you. He shifts, moving closer to you and gently cups your cheek, thumb gliding over your skin.
"I'm sorry," you whisper. "I thought following you into hell was the best thing I could do for you, but it wasn't. I should have said something, done something to stop you from destroying yourself, cleared your vision when it became clouded, but I was too weak to. I didn't want to lose you, not after losing everything else."
He presses a kiss to your forehead. "I'm right here, just as I promised."
That's right, how could you have forgotten? Promises whispered in the dead of night, huddled on the rooftop under a single coat, lips locking as fingers intertwined, foreheads pressed against each other, time freezing in that moment, the world condensed to just the both of you.
Stay by my side, always?
Always.
Moments clouded by the haze of anger, vengeance and hatred slowly begin to reveal themselves, memories buried the day you turned your back on Vander flooding back into your head. A warm hug, a hand ruffling your hair, deep laughter, the clink of glasses raised in toast to a new future, music playing in the background, a pen nib scratching on paper, hands brushing against one another sending tingles up your spine, a shy smile, lying on the rooftop looking up at nothing, dreaming of a better future.
"Stay, please."
"I'm not going anywhere, love. You're stuck with me forever."
You feel the bed dip as he moves to lie down next to you, slipping his hand into yours. Looking into his eye, you see a glimmer that your Silco lost along with his left eye, a quiet look of adoration, of endless love and you lean in, feeling his soft lips, tasting the scotch he loves to drink.
It feels wrong, this is not your Silco, but just for the moment you let yourself drift away, kissing him deeper, pouring all your love and regret into the act. He kisses back fervently, hungrily devouring you, eye closed as time comes to a stop around the both of you.
"I miss you," you breathe, lips parting. "I miss you so much."
"It's only been half a day."
"Shut up."
"Make me." You slam your lips against his once more, savouring the taste of him, fingers tangled in his hair. He pulls you closer, greedily devouring you. One hand rests on the back of your neck while the other rests on your back as he kisses you like there's no tomorrow. Maybe there is no tomorrow, maybe you have to go back to your universe tonight but right now, all you can think about is how much you've missed this.
Your lips finally part as you gasp for air, lost in the bliss of the moment. You feel his hands cup your cheeks, his forehead pressing against yours as you both bask in each other's presence. He's so warm, nothing like the body you cradled months ago as your world shattered, wails ripped from your throat. His touch is gentle, calloused fingers ghosting over your skin as he holds you like you're the most precious thing in the world.
It's nice, living in this universe where everyone you love is alive and well, where you're happily married to the man you've devoted your life to, but you know you don't belong. Your hands are stained with blood that you can never wash off, Shimmer taints the blood in your veins and your heart is broken beyond repair. In this world of peace, of wholeness, you will never find a place. It's made for the you of this universe, the you who still remembers how to live in a time of peace, who doesn't jump at every shadow believing it to be a threat.
You breathe in deeply, basking in his comforting presence. He still smells of cigar ash and scotch, but it's less sharp. You reach up, placing your hands on top of his and close your eyes. Like this, it's almost as if your Silco is the one cradling your face and you feel a silent tear slide down your cheek.
Damn, you've been crying a lot since you arrived in this universe.
He moves a hand to wipe the tear away, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. As he pulls back, his lips curve into a smile and you mentally save the image. You never imagined he could be capable of such levels of love after Vander's betrayal but here he was, having forgiven Vander, having the courage to marry you openly, having the courage to wear his wedding ring on his finger. He was so much stronger than you thought, and you feel bad for doubting him.
I never thought I'd see you smile like that again, even if it's you in another universe. The thought rings in your head and you can't help but let a chuckle slip. The first genuine laugh you've made since arriving in this universe.
"And what's suddenly so funny?" He does his signature head tilt, mockingly glaring at you. It seems some habits remain the same in every universe.
"Nothing," you hum, heart feeling lighter. It's like a weight has been lifted from your chest, and you feel free. You take in his features, remembering every line on your Silco's face, remembering the shape of his scar, remembering his touch, remembering the way he would kiss you, but these memories no longer choke you, no longer crush you under their weight. Instead, they're cast in a radiant glow, preserved in your heart.
He snorts in disbelief but doesn't press it further, choosing to cuddle under the blanket with you. Your fingers thread through his hair, the rhythm slowly lulling him to sleep and soon he's drifted off, allowing you to untangle yourself from him and slip out.
You head to the rooftop, breathing in the cool night air and watch the lights of the city below twinkle. Gone are the bright and aggressive neon lights of the Zaun you're familiar with, replaced with the soft glow of white lights.
It's beautiful. A different kind of beauty, but still as beautiful as the Zaun you know and love. The night breeze whispers in your ear, carrying the hums of the city's nightlife. You lie down on the cold hard floor, reaching up at the sky with one hand and wonder if you will ever be able to grasp the dream of an independent Zaun for your universe.
"Is the bed not comfortable enough for you?" 'Silco' sits down next to your head, leaning back on his palms.
"Nice to see you too." You've never really registered the fact that he doesn't hide his scars in this universe, but under the night lights, the ridges of his scar stand out, drawing your attention to them. He hums, looking out at the sprawling city.
"Do you think we fall in love in every universe?" You blurt out.
He looks over at you, raising an eyebrow. "Feeling sentimental all of a sudden?"
"Just thinking about it."
He hums, deep in thought. "I would like to believe so."
You smile. "Yeah, me too."
As the night goes by, you feel your eyes start to close. It's so tiring, sorting through your bottled up emotions, but as you look up to see 'Silco' smiling, you decide that maybe it's not so bad if it means you get to see him at peace.
The next few days pass by in a blur. You help 'Vander' prepare The Last Drop for the upcoming Innovator's Competition celebration, hanging up the decorations and drop by Ekko's place for updates on the machine. You do what you can to help Ekko, Powder and Heimerdinger out but amidst geniuses, you can only do so much. Still, as the machine comes closer and closer to completion, trepidation creeps in.
Are you really going to throw it all away just to go home?
On the day of the celebration, you take the chance to explore the city a little more, wanting to take in more of the sights before you return to your universe. 'Silco' offers to accompany you but you turn him down, telling him that it would just be a quick in and out. You see his expression falter for just a split second but he lets you go. You thank him, pressing a quick peck on his scarred cheek before slipping out the door, into the familiar yet unfamiliar streets of Zaun.
You wander around aimlessly, wondering if your Zaun will ever reach the same level of prosperity and peace. Children play in the water fountain, laughing as they splash about without a care in the world. Friends stand around, chatting away as if they have all the time in the world. You feel like a stranger here, used to the dark grey and the shadows that make up your Zaun.
Walking past a bakery, the smell of freshly baked bread fills your nose, bringing you back to the time when you had jumped into Silco's arms, laughing as you clutched a bag of fresh bread stolen from a Piltovian bakery, yelling at him to run before the enforcers could catch up. He had stood there for a moment, cheeks flushed before realising what you just said and took off running, gripping tightly onto your arm. You remember the adrenaline that had coursed through your veins, the loud and freeing laughter that rang through the air, the way you had breathlessly pinned him against the wall, kissing him for the first time as enforcers walked past the both of you, the bag of bread pressed between your bodies. You remember his flustered expression as you broke the kiss, adrenaline fading, his conflicted look before he pulled you in for another kiss, this time deeper.
You buy a bun just for old times' sake, tearing off a chunk. It's pretty good, although not as good as the one you stole. You had shared the stolen bread with Silco, cheekily taking a bite from his loaf and scarpering off before he could do the same to yours, his footsteps and shouts getting louder as he gained on you. He had taken his revenge that day, taking a bite from your loaf before flicking you on the forehead, grumbling about how you made him run so much.
You'd only laughed, ribbing him with your elbow before plopping onto your usual bar stool, eyes shining while he took out his notebook with a sigh, still nibbling on his bread and continued calculating The Last Drop's finances. Vander had shook his head in amusement once he found out what was going on, teasing Silco about getting married to you which caused Silco to bury himself further into his notebook, but neither you nor Vander missed the way the tips of his ears turned red.
The bread that day had tasted sweeter than usual, and back then you had chalked it up to a difference in baking but now that you think about it, it was probably because you were sharing it with Silco. You smile, taking another bite of your bread and continue your aimless journey, watching as the city moves all around you, going about their day.
A particular store catches your attention, the jewellery on display glinting in the light and you make your way over, still munching on your bread. Rings, bracelets, piercings and necklaces fill the counter, but a ring in particular catches your attention. It's a simple silver band on the surface, but you recognise the markings carved into it.
"You've got good taste. That ring's special, carved with archaic runes that are said to preserve the feelings of the gifter." The shopkeeper pushes the box in which the ring sits closer to you.
"So I've heard." You trace the runes, remembering the first time you laid eyes on this ring.
It had been during one of your little adventures into Piltover and a particularly fancy box had caught your eye. Making sure no one was looking, your nimble fingers had swiped the box and you disappeared into the shadows, curious about what lay within. Upon opening the box, you were disappointed by the sight that greeted you. It was a simple silver ring, with nothing of note until you looked closer. Something was carved into the metal, patterns that looked like runes. Now that was a ring worth selling. You had pocketed it, wondering how high you could sell it for until you overheard someone talking about proposing to their girlfriend with a ring amidst a flower field.
A romantic gesture huh. You had slipped the ring out again, looking it over. Would Silco appreciate such a gesture? Marriages were few and far between in Zaun, it was something few could even think about, and fewer chose to go with it. You didn't need marriage to know how Silco felt about you, it was as clear as day to those whom you wanted to know about it and that was more than enough for the both of you. Still, it would make a nice gift, so you had pocketed the ring and headed towards The Last Drop where your proposal had gone terribly unromantic.
You let slip a quiet chuckle as you recall that night, hand reaching for the ring hanging around the chain on your neck and tucked underneath your shirt only to grasp at nothing. Oh…right…this version of you never proposed to Silco via that ring so instead he had proposed to you with a different ring that this version of you wore on your ring finger. You fiddle with the ring on your finger, thanking the shopkeeper for her time before heading back to The Last Drop. It is almost time for the celebration, and you want dibs on the first bottle of alcohol opened.
The walk back feels strangely melancholic, maybe it's the colour the setting sun bathes the city in, maybe it's the thought of needing to leave this city behind when you go back to your universe since the machine is so close to completion, but you purposely walk slower than normal. Your fingers brush along the walls of buildings, run over the stone the water fountains are made from, and gently rest on the cooling metal of the benches.
How will you bid farewell to this universe's Silco? You sit on one of the benches, looking up at the sky, lost in thought. Your heart still yearns for Silco, but you also know that you have a responsibility to Jinx and Sevika, both of whom are in your home universe.
"Penny for your thoughts?" You look to your left as Heimerdinger climbs onto the bench, taking a seat next to you.
"No thanks." You turn your gaze back to the sky, arms draped over the bench's backrest.
"I must admit, I don't know what's troubling you, but I do know when someone's carrying a heavy burden." He follows your gaze, looking up at the sky. "And the burden you bear is a terribly heavy one."
"What do you know of carrying heavy burdens?"
"I know that it's heavier when carried alone, and that the bearer tends to think they're alone when in reality they aren't."
You laugh, "your kind live long lives, don't they?"
"Indeed we do."
"Do you have any regrets then?"
"Oh, plenty, but I've learnt to move on from them. No one doesn't have regrets, what defines us is how we deal with them. Some let their regrets consume them and wallow in self-pity, others rise above their regrets and learn from them. The question is how will you deal with yours?" Heimerdinger looks at you.
"I've been ignoring mine, pretending that they don't exist, but I've been forced to confront them here. I know I can't turn back time to fix my mistakes, I know they can never be fixed, but this — this universe, in this universe my regrets don't exist. I can be free of my regrets here, and yet, I have a duty to those from our universe. I have friends, other family, people to lead. I can't just abandon them, but I don't want to lose this paradise either." You heave a deep sigh, closing your eyes. "I don't know if I can lose the one I love for the second time."
"I admire your strength, it's a kind few possess. To still consider duty when it means losing someone you love again, it's a testament to who you are. I cannot claim to understand how you feel, but I have heard that we only ever truly lose someone when we forget them."
"Hmph. Vander." You snort. "Everywhere I go, he still influences the people around him."
"He must be quite the fellow."
"He is. The Hound of Zaun, people called him. Yet he's the gentlest and kindest person I know. And I let him die." Your words fade into a whisper. "All because I wasn't strong enough to steer the one I loved away from the path of destruction."
"You aren't the only one who has stood by and watched as someone they cared about destroyed themself." Heimerdinger bows his head. "I failed my pupil, and not a day goes by where I wonder if I should have done more back then, but I believe I did what I could. With hindsight as my teacher, I learn not to repeat that mistake so that I won't regret it again. I know you have the strength to do the same."
"Such optimism."
"I only speak the truth. Now then, I must go back to the lab and continue working on our way home. Enjoy yourself at the party, time is precious especially when we only have so much of it left."
"Enjoy myself huh. I suppose I can try." You stand up, stretching your limbs. "I doubt there'll be another party any time soon."
The party that takes place that night is nothing like you've ever experienced before. The floor is abuzz with excited young inventors showing off their latest fancy gadgets, alcohol exchanging hands as friends and lovers alike chat the night away, all the while you hang behind the counter, watching the scene unfold.
"Finally acting your age?" 'Benzo' laughs boisterously, slapping you on the back.
"Could say the same about you," you retort, taking a sip from your glass. 'Silco' had left earlier to mingle with other people, but you weren't exactly in the mood to form more relationships you knew were going to end soon. 'Vander' remained behind the bar counter to serve drinks and in the beginning you tried to help him, but you soon began trying each drink that was opened, much to his amusement and he 'fired' you from your job.
"Go out there and have fun, I've got it covered here." He had shooed you away but all you did was move a couple of steps before stopping, refusing to move any further. 'Vander' had sighed but had let you remain there, and still you remain at your spot, even after 'Silco' has long disappeared into the crowd.
Ekko meets your gaze and leans in, "so, what's your answer?"
"I…I need more time to think." You swallow, glancing at where you last saw 'Silco'.
"You don't have much more time." His eyebrows furrow.
"I know. I just…need to sort some things out first, get rid of the monsters of my past that kind of thing," you joke but Ekko doesn't laugh along.
"Tonight, once the party dies down, come with me to the lab. Heimerdinger said he wants to discuss something with us."
"Sure." With that out of the way, you turn to go and find 'Silco'. He at least needed to know that you would be disappearing tonight. Your heart thunders in your chest, anxiety surfacing as you struggle to think of what to say to him. You can't exactly tell him that you're from an alternate universe and might be going back to your universe soon, that would be insane.
You watch as 'Silco' makes his way over to 'Vander', surprised when he slips an arm around your waist and basically hauls you over as well with a smile.
"So, there's a chance for us yet." He places a hand on 'Vander's' shoulder, looking up at the bigger man. He presses a kiss to your forehead, chuckling, "we'll finally get the rest we deserve, love. Aren't you excited?"
Ekko gapes at you, the pieces finally falling into place. "You —"
"The monsters of my past," you smile sadly at him, letting out a deep breath. "You're not the only one."
Ekko shakes his head but you can tell, he understands. You and Silco, your destinies intertwined no matter the universe. I'm sorry, he mouths. 'Vander' pours a drink for 'Silco' who looks at Ekko with a fondness you've never seen before, a mixture of pride and sass.
"Didn't think I'd miss your big day, did you?" 'Silco' smirks.
"Didn't you try to kill him?" Ekko blurts out and you feel 'Silco's' grip on you tighten. You place your hand on his, thumb brushing over the back of his palm and he shoots you a look of gratitude, taking the glass from 'Vander'.
"The greatest thing we can do in life is find the power to forgive." He raises the glass in toast to 'Vander', gaze softening as he turns to you, taking a sip from his glass before handing the rest to you. "Don't get too drunk, love. I'd rather not have to haul you off to bed later."
"I'm not a child," you pout and 'Silco' laughs, nuzzling into your hair. Ekko chuckles, taking a sip from his drink when suddenly, the lights go out and streamers fall from the ceiling. Powder walks in, turning every head within her vicinity. You watch as Ekko steps forward, taking her hand and begins to dance. Their bodies sway to the beat, moving in sync and the crowd moves to make space for the couple. More begin to dance, twirling upon the dance floor as the music picks up and you can't help but watch, wondering what it's like to feel so free.
"May I?" A voice murmurs in your ear and you look down to find a hand extended towards you. 'Silco' smiles encouragingly and you slip your hand into his.
"I've never —"
"Just follow my lead and trust me."
"Don't you go letting me down, you hear?"
"Have I ever?" He pulls you in, pressing a deep kiss to your lips before spinning you around. Soon, you find yourself led by the music and 'Silco's' gentle guidance, your feet gliding over the dance floor. You feel light as a feather, a big smile gracing your features, eyes focused only on 'Silco' whose gaze remains fixed on you. His fingertips ghost over your skin, sending shivers up your spine and you lean in, lips mere inches away from his before you pull away. You can't recall the last time you felt so alive. The air is electrifying, your lungs gasping for air as 'Silco' pulls you in for another kiss, his arms wrapping themselves around you.
Dawn will come, you know, and the night will be over, but while it lasts, you will squeeze it for every drop of enjoyment it has to offer. You inhale his scent, the cigar ash drowned out by the alcohol he's drunk and capture his lips in a fervent kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and he indulges you, savouring the taste of your wine-tainted lips.
"I love you," he whispers. "Always, and forevermore."
You open your mouth to say the words you never got to say to your Silco but they get stuck in your throat. You struggle to say something back, emotions threatening to overwhelm you.
"Yeah," you finally manage to breathe out. "I know."
His gaze softens, thumb running over your cheek and you almost don't tell him of your plan to visit the lab tonight but you catch a glimpse of Ekko leaving the party and steel yourself. You have to, this is not your world, as much as you wish it were. You can't keep running away, if Silco can find a way to forgive Vander, you can find a way to forgive yourself.
"Silco?" The word feels foreign on your tongue.
"Yes, love?"
"I need to leave."
"Leave?" He echoes, confused.
"I…Ekko asked me to help him with the finishing touches of his Z-Drive." The excuse is flimsy but 'Silco' buys it anyways. His touch lingers just for a little longer but he lets you go, gently pushing you towards the exit.
"Then you better get going, or the boy wonder is going to need to pull an all-nighter again."
You blink and then smile sadly at him. "Before…I forget. I want — I want to thank you." Grief bubbles to the surface again and you swallow hard. "For everything. Whether you know it or not, you — you've done so much for me. You mean the world to me, you're my everything and — and I don't know what I'd do without you, but I have to try. For your sake and mine. I can't just keep wallowing in despair, grieve as the world moves on around me, I have to move on, keep going one step at a time, because you'd want me to."
Tears prick the corners of your eyes and you whirl around, quickly fleeing as tears flow down your face freely, blurring your vision. You hear 'Silco' call out to you but his voice is muffled by the blood roaring in your ears and the pattering of your shoes against the ground as you run, run and run until you reach the lab.
Ekko and Heimerdinger turn to face you, concern written all over their faces as you harshly wipe away the tears, sniffing.
"So, what's the update?" Your voice wavers.
"Good news! The machine is ready!" Heimerdinger chirps.
"I see. Good thing I've laid the monsters to rest then." You take a deep breath, stepping into the machine with Ekko. "Time to go home."
As the machine comes to life, the arcane begins to whirl around you, howling. This is it, no more going back, no more running away, no more chasing the past. You watch as Heimerdinger connects the power cables, your limbs going numb as he disappears into thin air. Your alternate self's body and Ekko's appear on the floor, unconscious as Powder and 'Silco' run in, eyes wide.
You watch as 'Silco' hugs your alternate self's body to his chest, then looks up at your real body floating inside the sphere. Your gazes connect for the final time and you feel your heart ache. You want to reach out to him, feel his skin on yours one last time, taste his lips one last time, hold him one last time but you know you can't. Your Silco is gone, physically, and there's no bringing him back. So instead you mouth the words you've always wanted to say, trusting that your Silco will hear it anyways from wherever he is in the afterlife, if there even is one.
I love you.
And the arcane snaps everything to black.
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ssahotchnerr · 1 year ago
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ALSO ALSO ALSO, Aaron keeping a pair of readers fuzzy socks in his go-bag for reader when a case is rough/they’re in a super cold area/just because 🤭🤭🤭
perfect pair
SCREAMING i'm setting this in the alaska episode it's the first thing my mind went to <33 cw; bau!reader, established relationship, fluff!!!!!
even with the burning fire going, countless chills continuously rushed through your body; you were shaking in place.
upon receiving word the case was in alaska, the customary temperature had been an afterthought. sure, you had packed (some of) your winter trappings; long sleeves, a heavy lined coat, boots. but you hadn't thought to layer, pack a set of gloves or a hat, wool socks rather than your usual cotton ones. rather, the excitement of purely being able to say you're going to alaska, of all places, had taken priority.
even today as you were getting dressed, you managed to talk aaron into lending you one of his favored quarter-zips. 'talk into' was a loose term, he hadn't needed the persuasion; you asked, he immediately accepted - never the one to deny you wearing his clothing, or the extra, provided warmth.
on the bright side, however, you had been hunkered down at the inn with penelope, researching the residents of the small town and not needing to brace the cold. but you might as well been, the heat coming through the air vents wasn't nearly enough, especially when the door frequently opened and the cold air drifted in. the fire was slowly weakening, and just thinking about the cold, made you freezing. the lingering frigidness was numbing your feet within your shoes, your fingers were just as biting - the bitterness was painful.
you were counting down the minutes until the day ended, eager to be warm in the comfort of bed, curled up with aaron 'the furnace' hotchner - the best perk of minimal rooms available and having to double-up. the two of you didn't typically share quarters while on the job, wanting to uphold professionalism, so this was a welcomed treat.
but when aaron had entered (and brought yet another rush of crisp air with him) to regroup with you and penelope, to discuss findings that would contribute to the profile, and hopefully narrow your search down, all he had to do was take one look of you shivering.
aaron walked behind the couch you were seated at, his hand finding your shoulder and giving it a squeeze hello, before heading up the stairs. at the gesture, you were quick to look up and acknowledge him, giving him a soft smile before your attention returned to penelope's screen.
aaron came back down a minute or two later, lightly tossing something onto your lap. it landed softly, but you still jumped a smidge, taking you by surprise.
you were met with your polka-dot fuzzy socks, a pair you hadn't seen in your drawer quite in a while, actually. your eyebrows furrowed in perplexity, grabbing the soft sherpa material and turning the pair over, analyzing as if you've never seen them before.
"you had these?" your eyes shot back up to aaron, arching an eyebrow in an accusatory, but playful, manner. the ends of your lips tugged upwards in a smile, your heart warming.
"given the circumstances, i'm sure you're glad i did." aaron's face matched your cheeky expression, a light smirk on his face. but he dropped the teasing demeanor, his gentleness returning, "i packed them into my go-bag a while ago. i figured they come in handy in one way or another, at some point. for comfort, warmth, when your ice cold feet touch my leg at night." his eyes smiled at you, and you couldn't help but grin.
aaron's immense, loving look was enough to melt everything in you, physically warming you. the sensation started in the middle of your chest, fanning out to the rest of your body, leaving you toasty and almost giddy.
forget the socks, layers, fireplace - all you needed was aaron.
"god that's adorable." penelope chimed in, who had been listening so quietly you'd forgotten she was there, a slight whine present in her voice, "never thought i'd be crying over a pair of socks, but here we are."
she turned back to her laptop, but her fingers paused above the keyboard, as thought came to her. her gaze drifted back towards you and aaron, a tickled glint in her eyes. "wait, i take that back. you two are the most, adorable pair."
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shanastoryteller · 4 months ago
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Shana, your tags on this post ...I need to know more! What exactly was the plan for Supernatural season 3 if it hasn't been for the writer's strike??? And how haven't I heard about this already?? I need the deets!
i'm so glad you asked :)
the original plan for season 3 was for sam to descend into using his demon powers to get dean out of the deal, and for dean to never go to hell. then the writers strike happened, the season got cut from 22 eps to 16, with only 4 after the strike, and that wasn't enough time to establish sam's spiral and powers, so changed the ending. it's on the wiki and there are some articles around about it
this was, in my opinion, the worst fucking decision they could make
it ruined the characters in a lot of ways and really unbalanced everything in a way the show never recovered from
the thing is that this arc is so well set up!
literally at the end of season 2 we get
"You're my big brother, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care, I'm going to get you out of this. I'm going to save your ass for a change."
sam has evaded azazel's every attempt to corrupt him. his shitty home life, all the demons he's exposed sam to, killing jessica, taking away his father, putting him in a literal life or death hunger games scenario. each time sam refuses to play ball
(sam's incorruptibility is what makes him qualified to be king of hell, but that's a different post)
he's the moral compass between him and dean. always has been. there is nothing in sam's messed up, twisted life that has pushed him pass mercy
but dean could do it. there's nothing sam wouldn't do for his big brother
john told dean that he had to either save sam or kill him. except he's never needed to save sam, because it's literally always sam making the measured, compassionate, merciful call. he's the one holding dean back, not the other way around
and sam straining towards darkness for the first time, for dean, would kill him. we'll come back to this
mystery spot, as an episode, is actually pointless if the plan was for dean to go to hell. because sam's sneak peek into what his life is like after dean doesn't do anything. i love this ep, but it's narratively pointless now
however
with the og plan, mystery spot is the turning point. it not only tells sam how miserable he'll be after dean is gone, but it also establishes what he's willing to do to get him back - pretty much anything. it's not theoretical pain, it's not theoretical grief. mystery spot is the thing that pushes sam towards being hard, away from the moral sweetness he's embodied for the past two and half seasons.
the next ep, jus in bello, shows this. sam is considering doing the terrible thing. he's now capable of considering the terrible thing in a way he wasn't before mystery spot. this is when his descent starts, when sam decides he's willing to trade his humanity for his brother's life
and then the writer's strike happened
right when it's getting good, right when sam's arc is ramping up, we lose it. and instead of picking it back up, pushing dean's deal to next season and giving it the weight it deserves, they say fuck it, and send dean to hell
but this fucks it all up. we have sam's "descent" with ruby and demon blood. except not really because he's not even hurting anyone. and dean's back, but not because of sam. sam didn't save him
this fucks it all up
because deans anger and fear and desire to save sam should have been tempered with the knowledge that he did that to save dean's life. that once more someone dean loves has made a terrible sacrifice for him, which he can't stand, which he hates. he has the self esteem of a gnat and the best people he knows keep destroying themselves for his benefit
i think the og build up was sam strengthening his powers to kill lilith, doing it, and then releasing lucifer at the end of s3. sam unwittingly starting the apocolypse to save his brother (does he regret it, dean wonders. it would be easier if he did)
and now everything is shit and dean's drowning but here and his brother has turned himself into something that's not unlike the kid dean loves so much it almost killed him, but not exactly the same. and now he understands john, because this is the sam that dean has to either save or kill, except he could never kill him. he loves him (and how can he kill sam for doing this when it's dean's fault, when dean made the deal that doomed his brother when all he wanted was to save him)
this is the flip that the show has been building towards. dean having to be the moral center for his brother for once. dean being the one saved. dean finally having to face his father's words and deciding once and for all if he's john's son or sam's brother
but instead dean goes to hell. and he's no one moral's center. because he broke in hell, he tortured people and he enjoyed it. they ruined dean with this. because instead of fighting and growing from his violence, they push him into it, and then they call him a righteous man. dean was the one harming people, he's the one that descended into darkness, not sam. sam and his demon blood had still only been trying to good, and in the end did do good, far more than anything dean did in hell, or has done since. his moral outrage, his anger, his disgust towards sam isn't only wildly out of character, it's hypocritical as hell. sam remains the moral, compassionate one, even through this. it never slides to dean. neither of them are really forced to grow or change, only to become twisted into each other in ways that hurt them both
this should have been the story of what sam would do to save his brother (anything) and what dean would do to save his brother (anything)
they should have saved each other
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aboutcustardcreams · 2 months ago
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Wake up call
pt. 1
a/n: I'm not going to follow the series episode by episode, as I already mentioned. This story will focus primarily on the three witches' story, so I'll probably jump forward and back in time at my own discretion from now on. If you're curious about something in particular, feel free to tell me in the comments. Would you prefer that I go back or forward from now on? (also, sorry for eventual typos or mistakes).
pt. 2
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Agatha looked as surprised as you for a moment. The boy was on his knees, squirming uncomfortably at the rope around his wrists and ankles. He said something, his voice sounded muffled through the duct tape.
“Oh, uhm.. well, I may have accidentally kidnapped him.” 
You blinked in disbelief, “How can you accidentally kidnap someone?”
The kid muttered something else you couldn’t quite comprehend. You thought it was his way to agree with you, so you grinned, whereas Agatha groaned in annoyance. As the boy persisted, you realized what he really wanted from you. 
“Oh–”, you mouthed a quick apology, lips stretching in an awkward smile as you took the tape off his mouth with a quick puck. He winced, but then muttered a ‘thanks’ to you. Had he been locked in there the whole night? Instead of that, you asked a different question, “you alright?”, twirling your finger, you made him turn around to untie the rope around his wrists and ankles. 
He sighed and gave you a grateful smile once free, “much better.”
Your lips pressed into a thin line, not really sure about what else was to say, despite having tons of questions. There couldn’t be a moment worse than this to have to deal with a kid. 
“Agatha, love, care to explain?” 
Your lover paid no attention, or rather she feigned to be distracted doing practically nothing more than walking up and down the house, as she mentally freaked out due to the last events. 
“There’s nothing to explain–”, she waved dismissively, “For all I care he can keep the house.” 
The boy frowned and quite frankly so did you. You walked up to her, confusion written all over your features, “Agatha, what in heaven are you talking about?” 
The boy followed behind in silence.
When she suddenly spun around, Agatha was so close, you almost stumbled backwards. “Did you listen to Rio’s words or not?” There was a hint of frustration in her tone, quite relatable in fact, and yet...
Your head lolled to the side, “so your plan is to leave?”
“Glad you’re catching up," she grinned cheekily. 
With no magic at her disposal, she had no intention of facing the Salem Seven, and even less letting you anywhere near them to save her life. So running was the best and only option she could think of at the moment; that hopefully would give her enough time to figure out a way to restore her magic and be a witch again.
You ran a hand through your hair, eyes glancing only briefly over the boy, who gave you a tight smile in return. A part of you wondered what he was doing still there. Didn't he have places to be, like school or whatever? 
Before Agatha could walk from you again, you reached out to grab her wrist, “So, this is what we will do,” you started, silently enjoying the whiny sound slipping from her lips, “we sit down, talk it out like mature adults, and you–” pointing a finger at the boy, “you’re gonna tell me why you broke into our house in the first place.”
“Uhm.. yeah, I..”
“We don’t have time for this!” Agatha exclaimed, “Need I remind you there’s a price on our heads?” 
A playful smirk tugged at your lips and unable to resist teasing her, you quipped, “technically it’s on yours. I only happen to be in your shit as per usual.” 
The boy let out a quiet chuckle, that you were about to reciprocate hadn't it been for Agatha’s hand flapping at the nape of your neck, “Oof!" you whined. 
Amusement glimmered in her eyes, “You had it coming,” she retorted. Then she glanced over the boy, with a grimace. “Not to be rude or anything, but we’ve got a lot on our plate so if you could just–” She pointed to where the front door used to be, her confidence dimming slightly, “this house is a complete disaster.”
She looked so annoyed right now, tired and scared even, but the latter she would never admit. Completely forgetting about the boy, you focused on Agatha and placed a hand over the small of her back, “it’s not so bad…” you trailed off, resting your chin on her shoulder. She knew you weren't only referring to the conditions of the house. Her eyes fell shut for a moment, her features relaxed when you started stroking her skin, lips barely brushing against a soft spot behind her ear, “we have an excuse to redecorate now.”
Despite everything, Agatha let out a small chuckle. She turned around and draped an arm around your waist. With everything that happened in such a short time, she hadn’t given herself a moment to truly cherish the fact that you were back—the real you. Sure, even without your memories, you stood by Agatha’s side all those years, but having you here now, like in the old days, felt different. It was different. Her eyes darted from your face to your collarbone, nose scrunching up at the sight of the nasty bluish bruise— a reminder of Rio’s hands on you. Her hand glided up to your face, tracing your jawline before slowly moving down to your collarbone, fingers barely grazing your skin, mindful that it was still tender and possibly sore. 
“Are you–?” 
Your eyes softened at the hesitation in her voice, “you shouldn’t worry about that.”
“I always worry about what matters," she argued back. 
"Sappy," you teased.
With an eye roll, she smirked, "brat."
When her eyes darted towards the boy once again, she let out an incredulous scoff, “you better have a darn good reason to still be dangling here.” 
Color drained from his face. Quite frankly, Agatha could be intimidating when she tried. Even when she didn't. “I-I do!” He cleared his throat. “I want to walk the Witches' Road. It’s the only reason why I broke in here really and–” he was talking so fast, for a moment you thought your mind had tricked you. There was no way he said the words ‘witches’ and ‘road’ in the same sentence. 
Agatha's eyes snapped wide open, “what’s that you say?”
“The Witches’ Road,” he repeated, slower and firmly. It hit you hard. You couldn't help it. “I want you to take me there,” his eyes softened and so did his voice as he added, “please.”
Agatha tried to meet your eyes then, but you had your gaze dropped to the floor. 
“The Witches’ Road doesn’t exist.”
“You’re lying,” he argued. 
Agatha scoffed bitterly, “am I?”, voice rising in exasperation. 
When you slowly lifted your chin towards the boy, you squint your eyes so much as if you were troubled by a sudden headache, “You’re asking for a death wish here.” 
Agatha agreed, “quite literally.” 
The boy looked crestfallen, but he didn’t back down, “You only say that because you think I’m inexperienced, which is fair. I am. But I can make it to the end-” 
Your lips pursed in a grimace as you tried to make sense of everything that was happening. First Rio, then the Salem Seven on your heels, and now this boy who had no idea what he was asking for.
“Look, I love your confidence– but the Road is no place for a kid.”
Agatha sank into the couch in the lounge, curling a finger at you in invitation. Smiling, you obliged, perching yourself on the armrest beside her. You were close enough that her hand could slip to rest on your thigh, her fingers tracing soft, lazy patterns over the fabric of your pants. The gentle rhythm of her touch soothed you, and you allowed yourself to calm your nerves, focusing on her proximity and nothing else. 
“I’m sixteen,” he objected, taking a seat onto the chair across from you. 
“Oh, why didn’t you say that before? That changes… nothing.”
You had to stifle a laugh at her sarcastic remark. 
He gave a dramatic eye roll. “Come on! You walked it before and survived!” 
Your brows knit in a frown. Just how much did that boy actually understand about you and Agatha? Or rather, how much did he think he understood? No one truly knew what it had been like for the two of you back in the eighteenth century. People clung to their own assumptions, and you let them—after all, the real truth was far too painful to share. Not a single soul knew the true story behind the reputation Agatha had built, nor the reasons why so many had to die in the first place. 
Agatha’s hand stilled on your thigh, “I had a very good reason to stay alive, plus I’m exceptional.”
It wasn’t a lie, not completely at least. 
The boy’s eyes shifted from Agatha’s to yours. You felt as if he knew what Agatha was talking about you. You saw something, a glimpse of understanding in those eyes that somehow unsettled you. If Agatha was known as ‘witch killer’ for all the wrong reasons, your reputation also preceded you, but you struggled to say the words. 
“I read an egregious amount about you two. I’ve been obsessed since I first came up with your Salem days… the way you two met, and oh my God- don’t get me started on your magic skills.”
So you and Agatha had a little fan. 
Agatha’s interest rose considerably. She grinned, “cute. Isn't he a cute pet?” 
“Honestly, I’m not sure whether to be flattered or freaked out by all this interest,” you mused.
The boy completely ignored the fact that Agatha just called him pet. “Sorry, I just– you’re a necromancer witch!” He was now struggling to keep a posed tone of voice, and you found yourself scratching the back of your head, not really used to being praised by your gift/curse. Quite the opposite in fact. “Guilty as charged,” you quipped.
Agatha’s hand moved towards your knee, thumb brushing in a soothing circle there. You smiled inwardly at the gesture.
“Books say witches your kind are so rare, powerful and–”
“harrowed, banished, burned at the stake?” You cut him off in a sing-song tone. 
Agatha snorted, “you name it.”
She knew better than anyone what it felt like to be brushed aside. It was one of the reasons why she could bond with you so easily and so quickly. You understood her before she could even attempt to comprehend the complexity about herself and her power. 
Teen blinked confusedly, “I was gonna say interesting.”
You clasped your hands together and took a deep breath. “Look, we appreciate your enthusiasm. You seem like a really smart boy, and I’m sure you’re destined for great things, but we can’t help you, not with that-” 
“But I saved Agatha from the spell…” his smile turned into a frown and his features dimmed  as a consequence, “I’d have come to you too if she hadn’t locked me up in the closet. But w-wait,” he suddenly came to a halt, eyebrows knitting in a frown as a new question popped up in his mind. “How did you wake up from the hex?”
Agatha knew, but said nothing, leaving the explanations to you.
“It’s hard to explain–” Being a necromancer allowed you to have all sorts of… vibes. Plus your soul was connected to Agatha’s and her life being threatened by something– or rather someone you knew quite well worked as a wake up bell for you, “it’s like a sixth sense, but better. I can always feel when Agatha needs me. I got a pull into reality the moment Rio broke into the house with the purpose of harming her. I felt her aura. She and I– let’s just say our magic works like opposite poles of a magnet.”
Agatha’s features hardened a bit, as she nibbled on the inside of her cheek out of nervousness. Your magic being complementary to Rio’s had caused you more problems than anything else. She almost lost you to her, and that’s something she would probably never forget. 
The boy hummed in thought. He was clearly intrigued by your magic and took a mental note to ask you more questions at the first next opportunity, considering he left his notebook in the car.
“And who’s Rio? I didn’t hear much but– there seemed to be a history–”
“Trouble.”
“A bitch.”
Both you and Agatha said in unison. 
“We don’t really need to talk about her now…” you kept vague, hoping he would catch the silent message passing through your eyes. Talking about her was never easy, not when your feelings for her were so tangled and conflicting. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t love her anymore, cause you still did. And Agatha... well, she probably did too, however, she would never admit it, not to you and even less to herself. The past clung like a shadow, and neither of you could ever truly forget. The ache of Rio's choices lingered, buried deep, a silent reminder of what your bond once was and could never be again. 
He pressed his lips together and gave you a slow nod of his head in return. 
“I’m curious,” she smacked her lips, your head turned towards her, as she continued, “If you’ve got the goods to break a spell cast by the Scarlet Witch, why do you need the Road?”
Your eyes widened in shock. Was she really considering this?
“The Road promises that what you’re looking for awaits at its end. I need to walk the road so I can figure out the extent of my power..” he explained and she hummed, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. “Don’t you need power yourself?”
Agatha’s back stiffened, “I most certainly do, yes.”
“She doesn’t need to walk the Witches' Road for that,” you pointed out, glancing at the purple witch with the corner of your eyes. 
The boy was confused. Without giving him too much information, you simply told him that you could share your magic. And, in a way, it was true. A more accurate version would have been explaining that Agatha could kill a witch by absorbing all her power, leaving nothing behind but dust. But that was far too dramatic, plus you were still one hundred percent sure she couldn’t and wouldn’t harm you in any way.
She let out a long, exhausted sigh at your insistence, “For the umpteenth time, I’m not taking your magic–” 
“Ugh!" You groaned. "Aggs, Rio warned us–”
“She mentioned the Salem Seven, didn’t she?” The boy cut you off. “I’m sorry but y-you’ve got zero chances against them without magic, Agatha.” 
She shot him an icy glare, “Thank you for stating the obvious.”
Your lips trembled a bit, as you struggled to hold back an amused grin.
“I’m just trying to understand which alternatives you have,” he muttered defensively. 
Agatha opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Nothing that she could use to hush both you and the kid. 
“He’s got a point, you know. You need my magic, like right now.” 
Once again, she ignored you. “Or maybe, we need to walk the Witches' Road one last time.”
The boy’s mouth parted ajar, “Really?”
“Really?” You echoed in a squeak. 
She simply nodded her head, giving you an innocent smile that only fueled your incredulity. You let out a quiet, bitter chuckle right after, at the same time shaking your head in disbelief. 
“Agatha, sweetheart, a word?” 
You held out your hand for her to take, and just like she did a moment ago, you forced a serene, tranquil smile—one that didn’t quite reach your eyes but would have fooled anyone who didn’t know you better. She took your hand, her fingers curling around yours as she let you lead her toward the kitchen. Once you were far enough from the boy to speak more privately, you locked eyes with Agatha. Your face was practically shouting, ‘What the hell?!’ —a silent message that she heard loud and clear, without a single word spoken.
“The Road doesn’t exist! What’s your plan?” 
“We are the only ones aware of that,” she stated matter of factly as if that could be used as a great advantage. “Teen is right, without my magic, I can’t defend myself against the Salem Seven, I can’t protect myself or you.” 
If this wasn’t handled carefully, it could spiral into something much worse. You knew, better than anyone, how deeply it hurt Agatha to feel powerless, especially when it came to protecting those she loved. She had faced this agony with Nicky, and now, here she was again, reliving the same fear, this time, for you. Her own life, in that moment, felt like nothing compared to yours. Because without you in it, there was no existence worth living for her. 
“You could,” you insisted, in a low, almost pleading tone. “if only you took my power–” It was so easy.
“I’m not willing to take any risks with you,” she stepped into your bubble, her hands tightening around your shoulders, in a possessive and yet still attentive way. She wanted you to understand. She needed you to be on her side on this. “I need to make sure I've got control over my thirst first. It's been so long since the last time I did that so I'm sorry but you’ll not be the lab rat for it.”
“Are you really thinking of using the boy?” 
Agatha’s mouth dropped open, “Oh no, my God- no! I’m not talking about Teen, you idiot!” 
You crossed your arms over your chest and gave her a defiant look.
She gave in after a bunch of seconds, “Okay, maybe I did think of him for a minute. He did break the Scarlet Witch’s hex, though." 
You pinched the bridge of your nose at that.
“But we still need to ‘walk’ the Witches Road, except that this time, we aren’t killing anyone,” you’re ready to argue back again, but she didn’t let you, so you bit your bottom lip instead, trying really trying to find the silver lining at the end of this plan. “Here’s what we will do: we gather a coven, make some female friends, sing the Ballad, it doesn’t work, wowie-!, I call them names, they get angry and blast me. I take their magic and stop right before they turn into dust.”
She paused and took into your eyes, letting you assimilate her words, hopeful you’d find her idea good enough, because there was really no time for anything else. 
“So, to recap—,” you cleared your throat, “you’re willing to lie to that kid, to the poor witches we’ll meet along the way, witches who’ll eventually turn against us once they learn our intentions, but you’re not willing to take my magic that’s literally within arm’s length because you’re scared you’ll kill me.” 
She hummed, feeling quite satisfied with your summary, “yep.”
A slow smirk spread across your lips, “You’re crazy.”
“Maybe," she conceded. "But this plan’s gonna work.” Agatha shifted closer, her hands sliding to your hips, her fingers pressing into your skin with a slight possessive touch. 
Your gaze fell to where her hands rested and for a moment, there was silence. 
Time ticked. She waited. 
“Fine. Oh my God- fine–” 
Before you could say anything else, she pulled you into a crashing hug. Your pout quickly turned into an amused smile, and finally into a fit of giggles when her lips began peppering kisses all over your face. 
“Atta girl!” She said with a proud grin, to which you responded with a snort. 
You’d be pissed, though, if by the end of the day, you’d be forced to resurrect a bunch of witches. But you kept quiet about that.
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dearhargrove · 9 months ago
Text
Survivors
Evan Buckley x reader
summary You're taking care of Christopher when Buck comes home, looking absolutely drained and in shock and goes straight to Christophers room. You overhear the news and make sure to care for both Chris and Buck.
word count 1639
tags pretty much episode 14 season 4, Eddie gets shot but it's not described, Buck is sad :(, Chris being the precious kid he is
a/n the way I sat there in silence when Eddie got shot is crazy. Like first they hurt us with Athena and Bobby's fight and then one second passes and Eddie (my bb) gets shot I'm so confused 😭 anyway I couldn't take it when I saw bucks reaction so I wrote a fix it for me. Also I screen recorded off of an illegal site to make gifs LMAO
masterlist
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You're washing the dishes when the front door opens and closes, footsteps echoing through the hallway and living room - right past the kitchen.
“Eddie?” You call and the steps stop. Instead of the man you'd expected there's your husband, Buck. He looks distraught, eyes bloodshot and lips bitten raw. What the hell happened? He doesn't even really look at you, it's like he's looking through you. “Buck? You okay?”
He licks his lips and blinks a few times but he doesn't reply. He walks straight to Christopher's bedroom, you following after him in confusion and worry. Why was he alone and why did he look like he'd seen a ghost or worse?
He stops before entering Chris’ room, but not to wait for permission to come in but more like hesitancy. He balls his hand into a fist and takes a deep breath before walking in. You take his spot in the doorway and watch with a worried frown as Buck squats down in front of Chris who's sitting on his bed, playing a video game.
“Where's Dad?” Buck looks down and you see him swallow again before he looks into the kids eyes. “He's.. not coming home tonight, Chris.”
Chris seems almost unbothered by it but considering that Eddie had to stay in the hospital overnight almost regularly due to his job, it was a reasonable reaction. But Buck doesn't seem to think the same and shakes his head minimally.
“Did he get hurt? In a fire?” Chris inquires and Buck turns his head to the side and slowly shakes it in negation. Before explaining it he sits down next to Chris and pinches the bridge of his nose, frowning. “No, not- not in a fire.” He takes another deep breath before continuing, “The truth is someone hurt your Dad.”
It's been a while since you've heard his voice so sullen and raspy from crying - probably since the last visit from his parents and that was weeks ago now. You slowly and quietly come into the room as well, standing at the foot of the bed and next to Buck with his back turned to you.
He regards you with a short glance before focusing back on Christopher, confirming his question, “Yeah, a bad guy.”
You see him reach up and wipe under his eyes, frowning in empathy as you put your hand between his shoulder blades and slowly move it up and down in hopes to calm him down a bit.
“Is he gonna be okay?” Chris asks and you're glad he did because you want to know too. Buck looks at him again and nods. “Your Dad is tough. He's a fighter.”
“He's with the doctors now? The ones that fixed you?” Chris inquires and Buck nods. You see the conflict on his face before the ten year old nods, “Then he's gonna be fine.” You hum and Buck glances your way before focusing back on Chris. Just as he's about to say something his phone pings twice and he looks down at it.
Over his shoulder you see the message as well, stemming from Bobby.
Out of surgery. Doctors say it went well.
Your heart basically drops in relief and Bucks seems to as well when his phone drops from his hand and he pretty much caves in, dropping his chin to his chest as he sniffles and exhales deeply.
You thread your hand in his hair and he automatically leans into you, resting against your stomach as he starts to cry. His hands grasp at your hips before his arms wrap around you and he sobs.
“Shh, it's okay, baby. Eddie's gonna be fine. Right, Chris? Your dad's strong.”
The young boy nods and you smile assuringly as he reaches out and wraps his arm around Bucks shoulders to pat his back. You melt at the sight and ruffle his hair which he usually doesn't like - only his dad is allowed to - but now he just looks at you with worry and confusion.
“How about you go and get ready for bed, hm?” It's not a question and it is a reasonable time for him to head to bed anyway, so he complies and slowly walks to the bathroom.
When he's out of earshot you sit next to Buck and let him fully wrap his arms around you and put his head on your chest as he cries. “H-He got shot right in front of me,” he starts with hitching breaths. “He just dropped and his blood was all over me-” he sobs deeply and you kiss his head while trying to process this yourself. He got shot?
“You couldn't have prevented it, love. He's gonna be fine. Eddie survived a lot, he's going to pull through this time, too.” Buck shakes his head and pulls back enough to look at you, blue eyes glossy and chin quivering as he gasps between another sob.
“It shouldn't have been him!” This devastates you and you cup his face in your hands, your worried expression replaced by a stern one. “It shouldn't have been anyone. Not him and not you, either. You hear me?”
He whimpers and you sigh, wiping your thumbs under his eyes and placing a long, soft kiss on his birthmark. “As soon as we can, we'll go visit him. But now you have to be strong, for Christopher. He looks up to you, if he sees you sad he'll be sad, too. Let's get him to bed, and I'll take care of you after.”
You take his hand and put it over your heart, exaggerating your breaths so he could match his and calm down. Right when he does he opens his eyes again and his frown fades enough to only be barely visible. “‘m sorry.”
The shake of your head is immediate, shutting up any further apologies. “No. It's good to let it out. I'm here so you can do exactly that if you need to. I love you, Evan. Nothing's gonna change that.”
He pulls his hand from your chest and tangles it with yours instead, gently kissing your knuckles and then your inner wrist.
He used to hate his name after it reminded him of his parents- of how they treated him. It reminds him of a life where he had to endure pain to receive love and attention.
But when you say it, it makes his heart beat faster in a good way. It makes him want to move on from his trauma or at least learn to deal with it.
And moreover it makes him feel validated. With you, he's not just Buck. He's also vulnerable, emotional and a bit cheesy. He's Evan. Evan, who's had more jobs in more cities than he can count on one hand because he was trying to find his place in the world. Evan, who likes the ocean but has been uneasy around it ever since the tsunami.
You smile lovingly and peck his forehead just as Chris comes back inside. He's wearing some dino pajamas and you ‘ohh’ at him which makes him giggle and turn as if to show off his outfit.
You move up from the bed - Buck going with you and standing at the foot of it - and untuck the bedsheets. “Get in there.” Chris grins and lays down, letting you tuck him in.
“Don't be sad, kid.” He says to Buck, who tries and fails to hide a new round of tears building up in his eyes. You had no clue where and why Chris sometimes calls Buck or even Eddie ‘kid’ but both of them seemed to love it.
“I'm just a bit worried for your Dad. But he'll be fine,” he adds the last part when you glance at him warningly, not wanting Chris to worry, and smiles. “Goodnight, bud.”
You leave his nightlight on and the door open as you leave.
Buck settles on the couch and watches as you approach and stand in front of him.
He leans back into the couch and looks at you with those puppy dog eyes that make you melt every single time he looks at you. Damn him and his beautiful eyes.
“I'm really scared. I don't know what I would do without him… when he laid there and looked at me, I-” he inhales sharply and looks at his hands, picking at his nails and reopening an old abrasion in the process.
You take his hand into each of yours to stop him and sigh, “I think you're gonna have to move from monthly sessions to biweekly, babe.” You know his therapy has been helping him a lot and you're glad he's working on coping with his trauma, but this addition is going to complicate not just his home life but also work - especially when Eddie comes back.
He groans and pulls you down until you're sitting on his lap, knees on either side of his thighs and his hands on your hips. “I appreciate your help, lovie, but just let me try and rest a little right now, please?”
You smile and card a hand through hair, moving to get off his lap so he could get comfortable on the couch. “Where do you think you're going?” He huffs and you're pushed onto your back before he's leaning over you, laying between your legs.
“You're gonna use me as your pillow?” You prompt and he nods, laying his head on your shoulder and nuzzling his nose into your neck and against your pulse point. You're familiar with his constant search for proof that you're alive and well; you supposed it comes from not just the job but his abandonment issues, too.
It didn't matter to you though, as long as you got to hold him at the end of the day you'd let him maneuver you into whatever way made him happy.
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homerforsure · 9 months ago
Text
Saw the episode. Ascended to a higher plane. Wrote a small Coda that is as messy as my brain is right now. Bone Apple Tea.
"Heyyyyyy Buck!" Eddie answers the phone with a drawn out salutation that proves Tommy was not lying about him being sent away from the hospital with the good drugs. Or, not lying about the prescription, but about Eddie actually taking them. It wasn't so long ago that Eddie would take enough medicine to avoid being in agony, but never quite enough to actually feel relief. He wouldn't do that for Tommy, however close they are. It's something that Eddie's doing for himself. Buck's stomach was a swarm of butterflies three seconds ago, but that and the floaty happy way Eddie still says his name, has him smiling again in his kitchen.
"Hey Eddie. I, um, I'm sorry to call so late. I just wanted to see how- how you were doing."
"Eh, I'll miss a shift or two. But Doc says I'll be ready to go for playoffs," Eddie answers.
Guilt twists through him, harsh and acidic and Buck says, "Well I'm glad to hear that. They say the team doesn't have a chance without you and your, um, sky dunk." Eddie laughs, giggles really, in reply and Buck says, "I'm sorry, Eddie. I don't know why I did that. I mean- I- I know why. I was jealous of you and- and Tommy-" Buck's heart flips as he says his name and he's afraid the kiss is going to come flying out of his mouth and down the phone line- "But I never wanted you to get hurt like that."
"You wanted me to get hurt different?" Eddie asks, still laughing, but Buck feels stricken.
"No! I- maybe. I don't know what I wanted. I lost my mind for a little bit."
"You were jealous," Eddie repeats.
"Yeah, I was."
A long sigh and Eddie says, "I'm sorry."
"You don't have anything to be sorry for. I was the asshole. I could have- I knocked you out of your shoe."
"Do you have my shoe?" Eddie asks, more focused than he has been the rest of the conversation. Buck can hear him sitting up on the couch.
"Uh, no. No, I gave it to Chim. He's gonna give it to you when he sees you. And probably make about 50 Cinderella jokes."
"Right. He texted me. I remember."
"I'm sure he'll bring it by sooner if you need it. Or he could give it to Tommy." The flush is there again, hot down the back of his neck. Buck doesn't know how he's supposed to do this. Where is he supposed to keep all of this heat and possibility while he waits for Saturday.
"You don't like him."
"Who? Chim? He's growing on me."
"Tommy," Eddie answers in a tone that says duh. "You can't even say his name normal."
Of course Eddie can hear that. Of course he assumes that's the problem after the way Buck has acted since the moment they met the man. He thanks god that he decided to call instead of driving across town and checking on Eddie in person. His cheeks and his ears are burning like fire.
"He can tell, you know. We both can. He said he's going to come talk to you. Gave him your address. Wants to apologize." Eddie must have settled back down on the couch. He sounds sleepier, his sentences getting shorter and more breathy.
"He did. He um. He came by. We talked it out. I told him you guys didn't have anything to apologize for. I was the one who made it weird."
"So weird," Eddie agrees and Buck laughs. "You guys should be friends. He's awesome and you're awesome and we can all hang out together and it would be..."
"Awesome," Buck finishes. He thinks it might be.
"I forgot you don't know that."
"Know what?" Buck asks, when Eddie's mumble doesn't come with any additional clarification. "Eddie?"
"Hmm?"
"Never mind. Hey, you should get up and go to your bed. Sleeping on that couch is not going to help your ankle heal any faster."
"Tommy said that."
"Tommy's right. Come on."
Eddie groans as he sits up, cursing at Buck in what he thinks is under his breath, and asks, "You talked to Tommy?"
"Yeah, he just left."
"And we're okay? You like him now?"
Buck's blood roars through his ears and he wants to throw up and start laughing all at the same time. "Yeah, I think I do."
"Good."
He breathes through the sudden headrush as Eddie grumbles and hops his way off the couch and down the hall. Buck knows where he's finding his handholds by the echo off the walls and he winces when Eddie takes a misstep and swears again. He thinks for a second that he should be there, that he should help Eddie to bed, but Eddie would never let him. Buck wonders if Tommy would let him. He's wondering about so much now and he never did before.
"Hey, Eds?" The question is out before Buck realizes he's asking it, small and vulnerable, and he wants to claw it back and swallow it down before Eddie notices, but he doesn't have a chance.
"Yeah?"
Tommy kissed me. I want him to do it again.
"No, nothing. Just. I'm sorry. I was out of line."
"You were," Eddie answers. "And I forgive you."
Something settles in Buck then. A piece that had still been sitting off kilter and jamming painfully under his ribs. He takes a deep breath, and joy washes fully over him, calming and centering. He doesn't ask the question again though. He thinks he wants to keep this tiny, glowing treasure to himself. At least for a little while.
"Bring me my shoe back and we'll call it even."
Buck laughs, letting the sound ring out through his apartment and he can hear Eddie smiling on the other end of the phone.
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