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inneedofsupervision · 7 months ago

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So, you got Detention

@berrys-hide-out Hey Berry, I hope reading this cheers you up a little, hope you like it <3. @cantsaythetword I didn't forget to tag you, here you go :)

Summary: Getting detention sucks. Getting detention for something you haven't done sucks even more. Getting detention and getting scolded through a Captain America PSA for something you haven't done and going home to have said man looking at you disappointedly is the bad-tasting cheery on top that Peter didn't need on this absolute disaster of a Monday. At least he gets the satisfaction of telling the rest of the team about Cap's PSAs. That's going to be fun.

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"Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you," sings Peter softly before his face turns into a grimace. "I'm never getting this song out of my head now. Thanks for that, Ned," mutters the teen without any bite, stepping out of the subway station. Despite Rick Astley uninvitedly declaring his love inside Peter's head, his lip twitched upwards for the first time today. He was glad to be finally heading to the Avengers Tower. Peter was ready to lock himself into the lab with Mr. Stark and ask the man what they would work on today. Him needing to bring distance between himself and the rest of the world doesn't come off as much of a surprise, taking into account that today had sucked until now. Immensely. At least in Mr. Stark's lab, nothing could get on his nerves, breaking the continuation of a bleak day.

It began with oversleeping.

The shrill sound of the alarm had cruelly torn Peter out of a dreamless slumber, and with a soft moan, the still sleep-drunk teen had aimlessly patted for the clock to end the obnoxious sound. As soon as silence had fallen over the bedroom, Peter's eyelids dropped, and although telling himself that it would just be five more minutes of lying down, he promptly fell asleep again. If Spiderman had stuck to his curfew and not exploited his aunt working overtime, there might be a chance getting to school late could have been avoided. When Peter woke the second time, tiredly checking his mobile phone, he sprung up in shock as he caught the time. Twenty minutes before the bell would ring. With no time for breakfast, he had washed up as quickly as he could, shoved the next best sweater and jeans he could find into his backpack, and sprinted out of the apartment. Peter usually avoided swinging to school, but drastic times called for drastic measures. He just hoped there wouldn't be any posts or articles of people wondering what Spiderman was doing, swinging this early in the morning cause that always prompted a rather unwelcome interview with Mr. Stark, or worse, Aunt May.

In his hurry to get to school on time, the boy had packed the wrong folder, thus having to scribble the history homework onto a paper two minutes before classes started. MJ had caught him sitting on the floor before the classroom, rushing to copy Ned's answers as if his life depended on it. She had pulled up an eyebrow before rolling her eyes. The girl didn't have to say anything for Peter's ears to grow red, embarrassed to look this unprepared in front of their decathlon team captain. Classes were relatively uneventful. Well, apart from the Spanish vocabulary test that Peter might have forgotten. Luckily, he could answer everything, although the boy was sure he spelled at least two words wrong. At lunch, Peter had felt the aftereffect of not eating breakfast as his stomach was rebelling, threatening to start eating itself from the sounds of it. The teen swore he could eat at least three portions until he had seen what they served today. To clarify, Peter isn't a picky eater. At all. Living years with Aunt Mays cocking trained him into trying everything deemed edible, and the hunger did the rest. But today, out of all days, the cafeteria ladies decided to let their presumable hate for the students show in the manifestation of the most disgusting-looking meatballs the boy had ever seen.

"Are those capers?"

Ned had glanced from his fork, where a with sauce dripping green ball of something pierced on, over to Peter, who, in return, squinted down onto his plate. He pushed the greens covered in watered-down sauce with his fork around before looking at his best friend with a frown.

"Could be. But to be honest, I don't really wanna find out."

The food had tasted just as it looked, and Peter was glad he was enhanced because he was sure if that weren't the case, he would have gotten food poisoning. How Ned got the funny-tasting excuses for a meal down was still a mystery to him. Having no money to buy something else to eat and knowing that his metabolism wouldn't let him go on without eating, Peter hadn't had much of a choice other than to force the stuff down his throat.

"If I don't show up to school tomorrow, you know what has happened to me," Ned had said with a slightly pained expression as he pushed his empty plate away to put a safety distance between himself and his lunch.

"Same," agreed Peter as he stood up. He had thrown a look at the leftovers, suppressing a shudder as he collected the food tray. They quickly left the cafeteria and the traumatic lunch experience the place brought with it behind. On their way to biology class, Peter had hope that this was the point where his day would finally turn, where it would start getting better. But of course, no day at school could end without Flash strutting up to them, holding onto the need to be insufferable. Flash had been making a beeline for Peter. The intent to bump his shoulder into Peter had been painfully obvious. Flash's nearing presence had sent Peter's spider-sense off, and it took the vigilante some willpower to let the impact happen.

"What, not apologizing for blocking the hall with your stupid face, Parker?"

Not wanting the situation to escalate, Peter tried to overlook the provocation. He wasn't looking forward to a confrontation, minding his business and continuing walking away when Ned whispered. "Don't mind him. Flash probably ate one too many of those meatballs and now feels like crap." Peter was aware that his friend only meant to lighten up the mood. He couldn't help heaving a sigh when their classmate turned around with an icy glare. "What did you say about me, Fatty?"

Apparently, Neds whispering had not been as quiet as intended. Flash had snarled, hand reaching out to grab Ned's collar but grasped at nothing as Peter anticipated the action and pulled his friend out of reach. He had shoved himself between the two and tried to calm Flash down when the teen grabbed his arm roughly, pulling him closer.

"Listen, Parker, one more word from your friend and I-" The rest of his threat had gotten cut off by the booming voice of Mrs. Warren echoing through the hallway, causing the students standing near her to jump at the sound.

"Parker, Thompson! Detention!"

"Fuck you, Parker."

With a glare, Flash had let go of him and stomped away under the watchful eye of Mrs. Warren. Ned had turned wide-eyed to his friend, carefully laying his hand on Peter's arm where Flash had grabbed him.

"Are you hurt? Peter, I'm so sorry, you shouldn't get detention because of me. I'll talk to Mrs. Warren."

Peter had pulled Ned back with a tired sigh. "Don't bother, Ned. You know Mrs. Warren won't change her mind. She's not exactly my biggest fan. I'll message Mr. Stark that I'm going to be late."

Ned was quick to protest. " But you did nothing wrong! Dude, that's just not fair!"

"It's alright, Ned. It's only detention. It won't be too bad."

By the time Peter finally got to step out of the building, he felt the urge to shake his head at his naivety. Detention had been downright awful. The second the supervising teacher had rolled in the antic tube television, Peter had an odd foreboding of what would come. The old device had flickered to life, and the speaker began playing with a static noise that made Peter wince inwardly. Peter swears he could see Mr. Stark before his inner getting an aneurysm at the sight and sound of their school equipment. Peter had ignored the burning pair of eyes trying to bore into the back of his head, courtesy of Flash, the latter trying to get his attention by calling him names but got told off by their teacher quickly. Peter had also noticed the lack of MJ, who chose today out of all days, not bothering to sketch someone's questioning of their life choices, and maybe detention would have been a tiny bit less terrible with her in the classroom. His eyes had flipped back to the TV, where a star-spangled, all too familiar-looking man sat down on a chair and began talking.

"So, your body is changing. Believe me. I know how that feels."

Peter had sunk deeper into his chair with a groan, the need to bid his lunch goodbye stronger than ever. Sixty painful minutes of unwanted advice from America's most popular and still living icon later, Peter is on his way to the Tower when his mobile phone vibrates inside his jeans pocket, Ned's name greeting him on the display.

"Hey, Peter. I'm still really sorry for earlier. But look what I found! This article is about Spiderman!"

Peter was glad his headphones were on as he clicked on the link Ned had sent him, as Never Gonna Give You Up blasts into his ears. It took him a few seconds as he stared down at his mobile phone, where the singer cheerfully danced behind his microphone, only for him to realize what happened. A surprised chuckle makes it out of his mouth as Peter holds his mobile phone up and whispers, "Dude, did you just rickroll me?". The grin was evident in his voice before he sent the audio message. It doesn't take Ned a minute to answer with a series of laugh emojis. Peter continuously chats with Ned on his way, his Spidey sense keeping him from bumping into anyone during the bustle on Manhattan's sidewalks.

Despite being late, there is the hint of a smile tugging Peter's lips upwards as he steps out of the elevator, amused about something Ned had written. Someone clears their throat, and Peter startles at the sound, quickly using his stickiness to catch his phone. The device dangles from the tip of his ring finger while Peter wonders why he has not felt their presence when a pair of familiar black dress shoes comes into view. Realization washes over Peter at their sight, the owner the only other person apart from his aunt, that his spidey sense doesn't go off to.

"Hey, Mr. Stark," greets Peter and puts on a polite smile as he takes in the frown displayed on his mentor's face. Maybe he should have written more than, "Hi, Mr. Stark. I'm going to be late. Happy doesn't have to drive me."

Peter's smile must have looked as forced as it felt by the look Mr. Stark gave him in return. The man stays quiet as Peter walks past him towards the guest room to put his backpack away. Walking into the living room, the teen gets greeted by the rest of the Avengers lingering around. Peter makes a beeline towards the couch where Clint is sitting, hoping to avoid the confrontation with his mentor just a little longer.

"Hey, Pete. How was school?"

"Please don't ask," mumbles Peter, taking a pillow to hug it while he sinks further into the cushions, trying to be one with the furniture. He leans his head back and stares at the ceiling while Clint chuckles next to him. "That bad, huh?" asks the man, and Peter hums. He closes his eyes, relishing that he finally gets to rest when the sound of footsteps grows closer before halting in front of the couch. Peter suppresses a sigh.

"Care to explain why you happen to be late?" Mr. Stark doesn't sound too bothered, which Peter takes as a good sign. He ponders if he liked Mr. Stark better when the man had been more indifferent but quickly pushes that thought into the back of his mind. Mr. Stark is just worried. But still, Peter didn't like the curiosity and concern in the older man's voice, the tone making him feel like a little kid getting scolded. The boy hugs the pillow closer, successfully muffling his voice by pressing it against his face. He really wasn't in the mood for this kind of conversation. Pushing his face deeper into the pillow, he grumbles, "I had detention."

"What was that? I didn't quite catch that, Spiderling."

Peter is pretty sure Mr. Stark did catch that. Something cold presses against his forehead, the only part of his face not hidden behind the pillow. Peter peeks from under it up to Natasha, who holds a can of Coca-Cola above him, a tiny smile on her lips. She nodded toward Stark with a reassuring smile, and Peter felt a bit better, knowing someone was there to step in if Mr. Stark became too overbearing. Taking the drink from her, the teen sat up properly and put the pillow down, facing his mentor.

"I hung out with Deadpool after school," he deadpanned, his last attempt to stir away from the topic. Mr. Stark raises an eyebrow, sending a side eye at Clint, who dared to snicker at the kid's comment.

"Funny kid, but just to let you know, I have a pretty little monitor in the lab telling me that you haven't left the school building until twenty-five minutes ago. Oh, and I hope for my and your aunt's sanity that you haven't been around Deadpool without at least a ten-mile distance between you two. That man is a nutcase, Peter."

Ignoring the jab at the merc with a mouth and Peter's secret "Thursday is taco-day" partner, he raises an eyebrow. "Should I file a police report for stalking, Mr. Stark?"

"Kid, I don't need two spies and Snowflake around knowing you are deflecting. Now, out with it. Why were you late?"

Peter picked up on the silence around, aware that, by now, everyone in the room and the kitchen were probably listening in. A little embarrassed by the attention, the teen's eyes wander toward his lap, where he absentmindedly fiddles with his web shooters, a sense of shyness overcoming him.

"I had detention," he repeats, a little timid.

The silence only lasts a few seconds.

"Ouch, detention. I knew there had to be something about you, man. No one can be such a goody-two-shoes all the time," teases Sam with a smile, patting Peter's shoulder as he walks past to sit next to Bucky. Peter's lip twitched at the comment, relief flooding him when he looked around and saw no one looking disappointed. Catching Mr. Stark studying him, Peter fumbles with his web shooters again. Although the man didn't seem mad, the way he was looking at him made Peter nervous. Before the teen knew what was happening, he was already throwing a lengthy explanation the man's way, a sudden flood of words hastily chained together to form a somewhat coherent report of what had happened.

"Those meatballs were seriously bad, Mr. Stark. It reminded me of the time you made me try oysters. I'm not sure if I should ever forgive you for that, by the way. That had been kinda traumatic." Peter was painfully aware he was full-on rambling at this point, but Mr. Stark silently listening was unnerving him greatly, so he pushed on, eyes everywhere except Mr. Stark.

"Flash walked up to us and tried picking a fight. I just wanted to go and ignore him, seriously Mr. Stark, I didn't even look at him, but then Ned said something about Flash feeling crappy cause of those meatballs, and it was a joke, but Flash heard it, and he was going to grab Ned by the collar."

Peter goes on, and by the looks Bruce and Rhodey are throwing him, he should probably take a second to breathe before freaking out the adults in the room. But Peter couldn't waste time caring about who he was freaking out because he was going to freak if not managing to make Mr. Stark understand that he didn't get detention on purpose.

"I put myself between them when Flash grabbed me instead when Mrs. Warren came by. She saw us in the hallway and gave us detention."

"Hold on," says Sam, sitting up as he looks at Peter, wearing an incredulous expression. "You've got detention 'cause you avoided your friend getting roughed up by that Flash kid? Is that what I'm getting?"

Before Peter could answer him, Mr. Stark had already his Stark phone out. "I knew that Flash kid meant trouble. That's it. I'm going to get that gremlin expelled."

"Wait, you can't do that, Mr. Stark!"

The man raises an eyebrow, and Peter backpedals quickly. "Okay, you could, but please, you don't have to. He didn't hurt anyone, and it's only detention!"

"He was about to hit your friend, Peter," comments Clint, and Peter did not doubt if Mr. Stark wasn't about to call his school, then the archer would be the one to do it. Clint could get weirdly protective at the most random times.

"He does dumb stuff, yes, but if you expel him, it could get him in serious trouble. I know he has problems at home, and getting expelled isn't the solution." By the pointed look he's receiving from several of the Avengers, Peter had a hunch that his arguments weren't cutting it. He needs to pull out the big guns. The teen leaned forward and looked up to Mr. Stark with the saddest puppy dog eyes he could muster. "Please, Mr. Stark. Don't call the school."

If he hadn't been panicking about Mr. Stark trying to expel his classmate, Peter would have found it funny how quickly the hero calling himself Iron Man crumbled. Tony rolls his eyes with an excessive sigh passing his lips as he pockets his Stark Phone. "Next time that hooligan starts something, I will have him expelled faster than you can say, Mr. Stark, got it?"

Peter grins at his mentor. "Got it, Mr. Stark," he chirps back, leaning back into the couch and feeling content for the first time that day. He catches onto the amused glances the others send him and Mr. Starks way.

"So, how many pizzas should I order?" asks Rhodey, the man successfully breaking the silence. With the promise of Pizza and the knowledge that no one minded him getting detention, Peter takes out his phone to text Ned, the smile from before back on his lips. He looks up, feeling someone looking at him, and meets Bucky's eyes.

"Still can't believe they give you detention without clearing up the situation," says the man, crossing his arms over his chest, a sour expression on his face. Peter was about to tell Bucky that it was alright, honestly touched that the man got bothered on his behalf when Captain America chose that moment to walk in. A groan builds up in his throat as the man settles next to Bucky. Steve's brows are furrowed in concern as he glances around the room, lines on his forehead deepening before his eyes turn to the teen. It takes only a second for Peter to guess that Steve had only picked up the detention part of the conversation.

"You've got detention?"

Steve says it so seriously it makes Peter want to throw the pillow at something. Or someone. Too tired to retell the event, Peter merely shrugs his shoulders. "It wasn't that bad."

He had hoped they would leave it at that, but who was he kidding? He's talking about Steve Rogers, after all. Peter's good mood starts deflating when Steve puts on his disappointed Captain America face.

"You're a good kid, Peter. You shouldn't get in trouble."

The teen's expression turns sour at Steve's comment.

"Steve, leave him alone," begins Bucky, frowning at his friend and leaning forward to intervene when the teen sinks into his seat with a low groan. Tony shoots him a worried glance. "What's wrong, Pete?"

Peter ignores the question in favor of sending Steve a glare. Steve dared to look baffled by the look sent his way. If today hadn't been so bad, Peter wouldn't even consider rolling his eyes at Steve, but now he couldn't be bothered to be polite to Captain Popsicle. "I had to listen to your lectures for sixty minutes today, Steve. Sixty. Minutes. I think I had my fill, so please don't bother starting another lecture about what is right and wrong if you don't even know what happened!"

Mr. Stark looks highly amused, not bothering to stop Peter from throwing his sass at Steve, which the teen usually kept for being alone with him in the lab, not often showing it in front of the rest of the team. Bruce raises an eyebrow, head slightly tilted in question. "Peter, Steve had been here all day while you were in school. When should he have lectured you?"

"He wasn't, but I had to listen to his PSA during detention, and I don't feel like hearing more now," answers the teen with something that might, under some circumstances, resemble a pout. Not that Peter would be pouting in front of the Avengers.

"PSA?" asks Clint while Bucky carries a thoughtful look before glancing at the blond sitting next to him.

"You shot PSAs? They still do these?"

Taking in all the puzzled faces around them, Peter quickly realized something that filled his inside with nothing but delight. It was like someone turned a switch, the not-pout on the teen's face morphing into a grin bright enough to lighten the room while Steve's face darkened with every new question asked, their expression the complete opposite of each other.

"They don't know," whispered Peter under his breath, eyes locked on Steve. He lets out a surprised laugh, a grin wider than ever.

"Oh my god, Steve, they don't know!"

He sits upright, the tiredness completely wiped off him as he beams at the blond, eyes gleaming with mischief rivaling Loki.

"Peter," says Steve slowly, the warning heavy in the undertone of his voice. Said warning meets deaf ears, Peter not even thinking about stopping any time soon. He had felt like crap the whole day. Nothing went his way, and Peter knows that that's not on Steve. But having to listen to Captain America's lecture when he did nothing wrong only for the man himself to assume that he did something the second someone uses the word detention in context with Peter without giving him a chance to explain rubbed him the wrong way. The teen isn't a fan of revenge and retaliation and holding grudges, but today, Peter felt petty. If Steve thought he could spoil the rest of the day after school had been that bad already, then he could buckle up. Peter knows his behavior is childish and petty, traits no one would connect with Spiderman, but the teen isn't Spiderman right now. He is Peter Parker, a feeling wronged fifteen-year-old who holds the perfect blackmail material of the person who wronged him in his young, inhumanly sticky hands.

"So," begins Peter in the most serious voice he could muster, giving it his best Captain America impersonation. The way Steve's expression contorted into a grimace was worth it. "you got detention."

"I give you one chance to stop, Peter," warned Steve, eyes narrowed dangerously. Peter only grins wider at that, having way too much fun rilling the blond up while the others could only share confused glances.

"Something tells me this goes over my head," stage whispers Clint.

"Doesn't everything?" shoots Sam at him simultaneously as Tony throws a, "Nothing new, then."

"Harsh," says Clint, rubbing his chest in mock hurt, causing the others to chuckle. "But back to Spider-kid and Cap, does anyone know what those two are on about?"

Choruses of no clue and a beat from Rhodey are all he gets before all eyes are on the pair, who are now challenging in a silent stare-off. Peter leaned forward, openly enjoying teasing the older man. Steve is ready to jump at him by the looks of it, but Peter isn't intimidated in the slightest, knowing he could outrun the older man. "You screwed up. You know what you did was wrong. The question is, how are you gonna make things right?"

Peter's grin widens at the same time Steve narrows his eyes.

"Last warning, Pete."

The blond raises his eyebrows, caught off guard when the teen leans back into his seat. He watches with surprise how Peter fishes his phone out of his pocket, taking a short glance at it before calmly placing it on the coffee table.

"Okay, I'll stop here," says Peter mercifully, stretching as he stands up and walks towards the kitchen. The blond's eyes follow the teen's movement, and Sam snickers how his friend's body deflates at the tension vacating his shoulders, amused by the power a teenager holds over Steve's head.

"Oh, by the way, Steve," Steve's heads shoot up at the tone in Peter's voice. He locks eyes with the teen, who wears the cheekiest grin any of the Avengers ever had seen him carry as he beams at the man.

"Maybe you were trying to be cool. But take it from a guy who's been frozen for 65 years... The only way to be cool is to follow the rules."

Peter's grin was about to reach his eyes. He couldn't help himself.

"Are you following the rules, Steve?"

In hindsight, Peter should have anticipated that the super soldier wouldn't let go of it without some retaliation. It had been too much fun to watch the man's patience thinning than to think what the outcome of that scenario would mean for Peter. He ducks at the same time his Spidey sense peaks, blocking the pillow flung at him just in time. The low buzz had begun to surr in his ear since he started teasing Steve and was growing into a shrill ringing when the man got up from his seat incredibly fast. Peter turns around while stepping out of reach, avoiding the hands reaching for him by vaulting over the couch, including Clint.

"Hey, no jumping over my furniture!" scolds Mr. Stark, but the crinkling of skin around his eyes betrays the stern act as he watches his mentee chased by Cap, wearing a grin on his face.

"Sorry, Mr. Stark!"

The sincerity of the apology suffers under the smile lying in his voice.

Peter stands still, eyes not leaving Steve, who hovers on the other side of the couch, waiting for him to move. Despite focusing on the blond, Peter catches onto the excitement in the room, their little chase entertaining the others immensely, followed by the cheering they receive from the rest. The whole situation was so silly. Peter couldn't help but laugh when he feinted a step to the side, causing Steve to flinch as the man was ready to pounce but narrowing his eyes as he caught on Peter trying to fool him. He couldn't wait to tell Ned that he had teased Captain America, the thought alone bringing a grin about to split his face.

The excitement in the room only increases, so much that Peter doesn't notice the new presence of a person before nearly bumping into them. Thanks to his sixth sense, he barely keeps from barreling into Mrs. Potts. He comes to an abrupt halt despite wearing socks, only possible thanks to his stickiness. Pepper holds a hand over her heart, the surprise written all over her face when Steve takes the chance of Peter not paying attention. The last thing Peter catches is Pepper's green eyes widening, her mouth forming a silent o before something slams into him at full speed, turning the world upside down.

"Whoa, careful Steve. I don't want squished spiders on my clothes."

Clint scowls playfully at the blond, who ignores him in favor of wrestling with a laughing teen on the couch. The archer rolls his eyes at being ignored and points his thumb at the pair.

"Children. It's like herding cats." He snorts at the sight of Peter with his back pressed into the couch, one foot pressed against the super soldier's chest, and pushing the 240-pound weight off of him without much difficulty. "So, your body is changing," begins Peter, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face despite Steve looming above him, looking ready to throw him out of the next window. The blond reaches out to cover Peter's mouth to block more parts of his most embarrassing PSA coming out of the teen, the panic in his eyes causing Peter to break out into laughter. Steve narrows his eyes at the laughing teen, who half-heartedly shoves him off of him.

"Can someone please tell me what is going on here?"

Peter perks up at Mrs. Pott's question, glancing at Steve with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh, I was just about to tell the rest about Mr. Roger's PSAs, Mrs. Potts," he chirps, ever so helpful. He was about to elaborate when Steve finally managed to clap his hand over Peter's mouth, successfully shutting him up.

"Noo, why did you turn him off?" complains Sam with faked disappointment. "It was just about to get interesting."

"Since when do you believe anything Peter tells you?" counters Steve, struggling to hold the teen down and keep him from spilling another word. Despite Peter's small size, the teen was powerful. Steve needed to trap him in a hold, somewhat resembling an uncomfortable back hug, to keep a hand over his mouth, but the teen with his freaky flexibility didn't even seem too bothered.

"Well, the kid can be very persuasive. And he did sound like he had something important to tell us. Isn't that right, Peter?"

Peter nods vigorously despite the hand still covering his mouth. They watch the teen worming an arm out of Steve's bear hug, tugging on the hand that kept him from talking. Sam grinned as he observed Steve's face fall at the ease Peter pulled his hand away. The older man tried reclaiming the position, but the teen had it in a tight hold, successfully keeping him from putting his hand back on his mouth. Peter grabs Steve's other wrist and pushes the man's arms away, wriggling out of the hold. A bright grin adorns the teen's face as he pushes Steve away, who is back on his heels in a second. Peter jumped off the couch as a hand seized his leg, causing him to fall over. Several surprised gasps could be heard, along with a rather colorful curse directed at Steve from Tony as Peter catches himself, keeping from faceplanting into Mr. Stark's pristine white living room floor. In contrast to the glares Steve receives at the rash action, Peter openly cackles as Steve tries pulling him back by his leg.

"There is a perfectly equipped gym two floors down, and they decide to do this here?"

"Don't be harsh on them, Tony. They seem to be having fun," appeases Pepper, surprisingly one of the few people along with Bucky and Natasha who weren't shocked by seeing Peter fall.

"Where does that look like having fun?" He asks, but one look at his mentee's face tells him his fiance was right. The kid is enjoying himself.

Meanwhile, Peter plants his palms on the floor, his upper body hanging off the couch. He sticks onto the tiles, sticking one hand down at a time, and crawls away while Steve still holds onto one of his legs. He keeps moving forward, laughing at the strained huff Steve lets out as he avoids Peter's free foot from kicking him in the stomach. The super soldier bats the flailing limp away, shortly loosening his hold on the teen's leg, which the latter quickly uses as a chance to create some leeway.

He doesn't get very far.

"No!" shouts Peter as a hand wraps around his ankle and pulls him back half a meter. "Sam! Bucky! Help!" pleads the teen half-heartedly, reaching out for the two men sitting on the opposite couch.

"What do you say, Buck? Do we help the munchkin?"

"I know Steve long enough not to interfere when he gets like that. Punk is a mad dog when he throws a fit. Sorry, kid, you're on your own."

Peter is about to give the men a piece of his mind when he gets pulled another good amount of inches back before he gets back to stick on the floor. He crawls away again, but Steve has none of it and reaches for the teen's other ankle. Thanks to his spidey sense, Peter avoids the grip by turning on his side, but it causes him to roll further towards the couch than away from it. Steve quickly takes the opportunity to reach down and hook his hand under the teen's side, attempting to heave Peter off the ground. The teen twists in his hold, and Steve curls his fingers into Peter to keep a hold of him when an honest-to-good squeal escapes the teen.

An eerie silence hangs over the room, no one daring to speak as Steve stares at the frozen teen in his hold who avoids meeting his face as best as he can, but he catches onto the reddened tips of his ears. Steve's lip twitched knowingly. He knows that kind of reaction. He squeezes his hand abruptly, lips forming into a grin as the body on the floor jumps like a fish on land at the action.

"Oho," says Clint, sounding way too gleeful, the first to break the silence, having watched the silent realization come over Steve with amusement.

"What a way to reveal your secret, kid. At least I won't have to keep this to myself anymore," comments Tony with a grin.

Now was Steve's turn, carrying a mischievous grin.

"A secret? What kind of secret could that be, Peter? You like sharing information. How about you enlighten us about this, huh?"

Peter feels his heart jump at the tone in Steve's voice. He kind of regrets having made fun of the man. Peter begins crawling again, but this time with more vigor than before. He doesn't get very far as Steve instantly pulls him back but meets resistance as the teen sticks to the ground. The problem resolves itself quickly as Steve releases one of Peter's legs to reach forward and claw at the teen's ribs. With a shriek, Peter's left hand unsticks, arm shooting down to protect his side. Steve's hand darts to the teen's other side, repeating the procedure and efficiently getting the teen off the ground. From there on, it was easy to throw the already laughing boy back onto the couch.

Never one to back down quickly, Peter instantly tries climbing over the couch, but an arm sneaks around his middle and prevents him from escaping. He tries reaching for the backrest, but a hand worms its way into his underarm, and every attempt to reach his arm out to grasp something becomes futile. He quickly gets pushed down, back pressed into the couch cushion as Steve looms over him for a second time that day, but this time, Peter could crawl out of his skin at the grin on the older man's face.

"Dohon't do this," says Peter, voice void of any conviction as nervous giggles accompany his words. Not knowing what to do with his hands, the teen awkwardly holds them in front of him, half shielding his upper body and half waiting to catch any hands that were about to attack. Steve watches with growing amusement how the boy's eyes jump from his face to his hands and back as if he were unsure what was more important to keep track of. He had never seen such an amount of nervous energy radiating from the teen. It was adorable to see him this unnerved about something harmless as this.

"This? What do you mean, Peter? Is this about the secret Tony mentioned?"

"I don't know what you are talking about. I don't have any secrets. Apart from being Spiderman, I mean," Peter stumbles over his words, lips twitching upwards when Steve raises an eyebrow at him. "No secrets to share, no information to keep. I have nothing to hide, so you can let me go. Please?"

Steve turns towards Clint, who hasn't moved an inch, even with the literal wrestling match happening on the seats next to him. "What do you say, Clint? Does he tell the truth?"

Peter throws a pleading look towards the archer. Clint grins at the pair.

"You see that face," he asks, pointing at the teen. "As a spy and a father, I can tell you that's the face of a liar."

"That's not true!" protests Peter as Steve turns back to him. Catching onto the look the man bestows on him, Peter snatches the next best thing he can get his hands on, a decorative pillow, and uses it to shield himself, a giant grin about to split his face. Steve cracks his knuckles.

"Seems like I have to get the truth out of you."

"Noho!" shouts Peter with a laugh as Steve pulls at the pillow. Nervous giggles are pouring out of him as he tries to make himself as small as possible, and it is faint, but Steve's enhanced hearing could pick up on the wild pace of the kid's heart beating.

"Let go of the shield, Spiderman," commands Steve, eyes gleaming playfully at the boy.

"In your dreams," says Peter, only fastening his hold onto the pillow, the only thing keeping him safe from the fingers getting closer. Steve catches a movement out of the corner of his eyes, lips twitching ever so slightly. He focuses back on Peter, the boy watching him with his whole attention, unaware of the hands reaching for his feet. A shriek escapes the vigilante, eyes widening at the feel of blunt nails running over his socked soles, causing him to flinch and pull his legs up at the ticklish feeling. Steve uses the moment of surprise to tear the pillow out of Peter's hand, depriving him of the last thing to shield himself from his attack.

"Thanks, Clint."

"No problem, Cap."

Peter sends a glare Clint's way, but the archer only needs to reach for his feet for the teen to let the glare turn into a panicked grin, quickly tucking his legs close. "That's what I thought," says Clint with a smug grin. Steve uses the moment of inattention, poking the teen's stomach in quick succession. The reaction didn't disappoint.

"Hey! Stohop it!"

Peter tries glaring at the blond while his hand fails to catch the poking fingers, jumping when one poke lands dangerously close to his lower rip. The motion doesn't go unnoticed by the soldiers' trained eyes, a sly smirk forming on the man's face. "Why? Does it bother you?"

"Yehehehes! Stahahap pokehihing me!" complains Peter, but it was hard to take the teen seriously with the constant giggling. Steve does stop at that.

"Alright, I'll stop. Would you prefer this instead?"

He skitters his fingers over the teen's stomach, grinning at the squeal escaping Peter before he tries curling on himself, hysterical giggles pouring out of him, unaware that the sound causes amused smiles to appear on every face in the room.

"Nahaha, gehehet your hahahands of mehehe," Peter manages to bring out between his laughter as he twists on his side, addressing the others.

"Sohohomebody hehelp!"

"Anyone here knows who that somebody is he's talking about?" asks Sam, feigning ignorance.

"I hahahete you, Bihihirdman 2!"

"Yeah, I can't take anything you say seriously giggle-bug."

Peter is about to counter, but a set of fingers dug into the part where his ribs and upper back meet, sending a ticklish shock throughout his body. He jumps at the touch, and Steve latches onto the reaction, taking both hands to claw at his ribcage and digging his fingers in on the search for that spot. Peter's giggles had long ago turned into bright laughter, now accompanied by an occasional shriek and a whole-body jump as Steve found what he'd been searching for.

"Oh, what's this?" he asks, voice full of glee.

"NOHOHOTHING, IT'S NOTHINIHIN!"

"Something tells me you're onto something, Cap," comments Rhodey with a grin, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest, amusement written all over his face.

Peter shakes his head at the words, chanting "Stopstopstopstohohooop," while trying to catch the hands that are way too skillful in sending ticklish sparks under his skin, leaving him in stitches. "Why? Is this the spot I have to go to to get you to tell me about your secret? Although I think I can already guess what it is."

Steve grins down at Peter who tries so hard to scowl at him but fails miserably. It leaves the man wondering where all the strength has gone, and while the idea of tickling being Spiderman's big-bad weakness sounds fun, Steve knows for the better that this couldn't be the reason for the teen's failure to escape.

"OH MY GOHOHOHOD, NOHOHO!" Peter kicks his legs, wriggling from side to side and throwing his head back when Steve finds a way to slip his hands into his underarms. He presses his arms down, quickly rendering Steve's fingers immobile, but the feeling of them simply touching his armpits tickled like mad.

"Peter, I kinda need my hands back, or we're stuck here until tomorrow," teases Steve, amused when the boy shakes his head with a giant grin.

"Buck, a little help here?"

The other man huffs a small laugh. "You're seriously stuck?"

Steve grins at him. "I can't move a single finger."

With a shake of his head, Bucky makes his way over to the couch. He assesses the situation before glancing at Peter, the latter trying to catch his breath. Without a word, Bucky clasps both hands on Peter's thighs just over the kneecap, squeezing and massaging his thumb into the muscle. Peter kicked like mad at the action, breaking into loud belly laughter, and Steve could pull his hands away as the teen was busy twisting and wriggling, trying anything to get Bucky's hands off his knees.

"How did you know that would work?" asks Sam, impressed, as Bucky walks back to sit on the couch as if nothing had happened. Bucky shrugs. "It works on Steve," he answers cooly, but with a smirk playing on his face. Steve glares at him but quickly focuses on Peter, who uses the moment to try crawling in the other direction of the couch. Clint only watches with amusement as he has a lap full of enhanced teen trying to crawl over him as if that was your normal Monday afternoon thing, only to get caught by the shoulder and get dragged back.

"We're not done yet, Queens."

"Steheheheve, pleaahahse. I cahanah't tahahake anymhohore!" whines Peter, but Steve catches onto the playful spark glinting in his eyes.

"Okay, I'll stop here," says Steve, mimicking Peter. "But there's one thing I'll have to tell you." The teen narrows his eyes at the blond, not trusting one word coming from Steve.

"What I tell you now is about one of the most valuable traits a student or soldier can have."

Peter's eyes widen comically. As soon as his brain registers the words, he gracelessly flails in his place. The teen tries to throw himself off the couch as he knows where this is going, but Steve, having anticipated the action, jumps forward and catches the teen around the waist. He keeps his arm wrapped around Peter's middle, hugging the teen against his chest and kneading his free hand into Peter's side without further ado.

"Nohohohot anohohother one! Steve pleahahahase! Dohohohon't do thihihhis! I-I'll goho insahahane!"

Steve keeps a stoic face despite the madly giggling and protesting fifteen-year-old half-sitting squirming in his lap, batting and pulling on the arm holding him in place. He continues his speech with his Captain America voice, causing several eyebrows to raise in amusement.

"Patience." he begins, while his hand slips under the teen's shirt, skittering his fingers over bare skin, "Sometimes, patience is the key to victory."

Peter doesn't know if it's the teasing or the fact that Steve keeps dragging his fingers over the bare skin of his sides, but he can't help kicking his legs into the air and throwing his head back into Steve's shoulder as his whole body shakes under the force of him laughing. Steve takes advantage of Peter's head being this close as he speaks the following words right into his ear, earning him the cutest giggle he had ever heard as the teen desperately tries to scrunch his shoulder up and shield his ear from the tickly air. "Sometimes, it leads to very little, and it seems like it's not worth it, and you wonder why you waited so long for something so disappointing."

At his last word, Steve changes his tactics and uses his free hand to poke every place he can find that Peter isn't poorly trying to protect. The boy can't do anything in his hold but giggle his head off, and Steve wonders once again why Peter doesn't escape since he certainly could until he realizes that, maybe, Peter doesn't want to escape. The thought sparks his interest, and he might as well test that theory while the opportunity's still there.

"STEHEHEHEHEHEVE! NO! Anywhere but there! Please please please, please not thihihis it's so bad. Seriously, dohon't do it! STEHEVE NOHOHO, WHY AREN'T YOHUHU LISTENIHIHIHN! AHAHAHAH NO STAHAHAHAP!"

Peter trashes in his hold as the super solider gets another chance to dig into that sweet spot between his back and rips, sending the kid into a laughing fit, face reddening as he squeezes his eyes shut, the corner wettening with tears of joy before his laughter turns silent.

"Steve, I'll think he got the message," interrupts Tony, having caught onto the change from silent laughter to coming out a tad bit breathless. Not wanting to overdo it, the blond stops the tickling but keeps his arm around the teen, afraid Peter will fall if he lets go of him. The boy hangs slack in his hold, trying to catch his breath.

"You good, Queens?" asks Steve, a little worried he might have overdone it as he carefully loosens his hold on Peter. The latter let himself slip to the side, landing with a groan on the couch. Feeling Steve's eyes on him, Peter turns his head but keeps lying on his side. He sends the man a tired grin.

"I think now I know the true meaning of patience. And ruthlessness."

With a smile, Steve reaches over and ruffles Peter's already messed-up hair.

"You need another lecture, and you know where to find me," he jokes, smirking at the dramatic groans it earns him.

"Yeah, no, I think I pass. You know what I would rather listen to?"

Steve raises an eyebrow in question.

Peter grins at him.

"Some Captain America PSAs."

#ticklish! peter parker #ticklish spiderman #lee peter parker #ler steve rogers #marvel tickle fic #peter parker #spiderman #captain america #steve rogers

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mikuyuuss · 2 months ago

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My Mitsuri cosplay at the kny exhibit! My friend also came along as Rengoku so we can reenact the Flame and Love Duo 🔥💖 Heck yeah I'm in my Love Hashira arc 😌😌

I couple of young girls excitedly yelled "MITSURIIIII!!!" when they saw me, and it makes me happy that a lot of people wanted to take pictures with me or just tell me just much they love my cosplay. One of the little girls was even proudly showing me her Mitsuri pin 🥺💖 One of them even said "where's Iguro?" which uh, yeah sorry 👁️👄👁️ I bought Rengoku tho!

I also really like this shot of us in the mugen train. It looks like Mitsuri is missing Rengoku here. There were many other cosplayers in the event too, which was a pleasant surprise. A fellow Mitsuri cosplayer even took pictures with me. I'm also glad I got to do a Hashira group picture!

Also the exhibit itself is also very beautiful and interactive. There's like a small hole that you can sneak in and then you'd see a statue of Uzui's mice. I like that they're hidden so you get to explore more. There's also an interactive classroom from the modern kny spin off where u can sit in class and look at the standee of PE teacher Giyuu. Honestly, it was such a prime photoshoot spot but too bad we can't take pictures there!

There's also a screen where the hashiras are training and talking to you. When I was exploring, I got jumpscared by Mitsuri's voice going "KYAAA a new trainee!!" And then it's funny bc in Giyuu's segment he was like "Hi, if you wanna get stronger go ask the hashiras, ok bye 🏃🏻‍♀️🤸🏻‍♀️" Not exact words but that's pretty much it. Ya boy just ditched his responsibilities. Iirc Shinobu did the rest of the explaining while the rest of the hashiras are "Ewwww newbie" 😭

After the exhibit, you get to play a short mobile mini game and then upon completion, you get a KNY CERTIFICATE! Which is neat! I feel like I just graduated in Kny University lol. And then you get redirected to the merch store.

I really love that the kny merch has a Philippine exclusive version! I bought the sticker of Uzui riding a jeepney, because that's the main mode of transportation for a lot of us Filipinos and I love to see Uzui representing us like the flamboyant king he is.

Anyways that's all, this was such a fun experience, and probably not the last time I will cosplay Mitsuri. I worked super hard to tailor her outfit, and to make her sword so no way I'm gonna wear this once XD

#personal #my post #kny #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #cosplay #kny cosplay #mitsuri kanroji #kanroji mitsuri #my art

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yuri-is-online · 10 months ago

Note

Back with some more thought experiments! This time, let’s talk about the actual worldbuilding of Twisted Wonderland. I mean, this is a completely separate world where fairytales and fantastical things actually exist. It’s functionally impossible for Twisted Wonderland to just be Earth plus some Disney sprinkled on top.

The biggest point that really gets me is that fact that methods to foresee the future exist. Astrology is a valid class in NRC and Yuu suffers from plot convenient prophetic visions. The mere idea that the future can be foreseen should have huge ramifications on how businesses and governments operate. Imagine knowing the effect of a deal or policy before it even happens. Or minimizing crisis by knowing about it before it strikes.

Magic should also affect technological development. We know that there was an age before magic was widespread among humans, thanks to Trein in GloMas. In that sense, I can see how up to a point technological development may be similar… but post-magic the technology should be different due to a different set of limitations.

Language is also an interesting topic. Setting aside things that humans probably can’t event speak like the Fae languages seen in game, what of the languages used in Twisted Wonderland? Would they be similar to Earth as a result of the Disney movies used to create its history? Does that explain why Rook speaks French?

This isn’t accounting for religion either. The Age of the Gods is a thing, drawing from the Hercules movie. That would mean that the Greek gods actually exist in Twisted Wonderland. So how did they fall out of worship? I mean, only Hades seems to be recognized anymore due to the Great Seven, and not even in a religious way.

Look, I’m going to hit the character count if I keep trying to list all of my questions. This is just all so fascinating! And true to my fixation on Yuu, this is all great content for exploring just how alien Twisted Wonderland must feel. Like, Yuu should honestly ask more questions. I don’t buy how easily they adapted in the game.

- 🦐

*cracks knuckles* Shrimp you have brought up stuff I've been thinking about for a hot second, I'm so glad you have come into my inbox ( ๑ ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و ♡

I agree that I don't think Yuu would have adjusted as easily as they are depicted to in game, but this is a mobile app gacha game licensed by Disney so it's not going to focus as much on stuff like that. Luckily that's what we're here to do anyway~ I am going to go through these points one by one.

Point One: Astrology

The most we learn about how fortune telling works in game is from the Scalding Sands hometown event. There is an exchange between Cater, Trey, and Jamil about using coffee grinds to tell fortunes, and Trey specifically says something I think is interesting: we get two really interesting lines:

From what's said here we can tell two things: A) there is a distinct difference between types of fortunes and B) a distinct difference in the quality of fortune tellers. Someone like Cater is correct most of the time with his divination, but not everyone will be making actively relying on it for major decisions. I could absolutely see older kingdoms having a seer employed who a ruler could call on for supernatural advice, but I don't think that would be common practice in modern day Wonderland outside of maybe Briar Valley. Besides, just because you know something bad will happen doesn't mean you will be able to efficiently mobilize your forces in time to make a meaningful difference.

Speaking of which, not to touch on spoilers too much but Leven seems to be implied to posses the ability to actually clearly see the future, and as for Yuu's visions...

Well Lilia says he thought they might have a curse like Silver's (not that he knew why they were dizzy)... and the ability to see the future IS often handed out in Greek Myths as a curse, but well. Make of that what you will.

Point Two: Magi-Tech

The way technology works in Twisted Wonderland is a bit vague. From how Idia talks, I think there is a distinct difference between technology and magitechnology, with Idia specifically specializes in the latter. I actually went a really long time thinking that since Yuu hadn't a single trace of magic on them they wouldn't be able to ride a magi-wheel because of how Deuce talks about it syncing with your own magic and what not. Even magicless people in Twisted Wonderland don't seem to be completely magicless, they just don't have enough of a mana pool to actually cast a spell.

I think it would make sense to suggest magic and magitechnology probably affected Twisted Wonderland's development in the same way the silicone chip did ours, but the key difference would be that if you put too much magic into a device most humans can't use it. That would bring up a completely separate set of setbacks and issues... while there might not be a difference in the type of things built their internal construction would definitely be wildly different.

Part Three: Language

I think the easiest answer to this is yes. We know there is a "common" language that most places now use... I like to headcannon that language as being unique to Twisted Wonderland but I have seen some people think it is probably English. Which brings out my scrunchy face because the prevalence of English in our world is because of the British Empire... which never existed in Twisted Wonderland.

Rook speaks French because one of his favorite plays is set in Fleur City/the Shaftlands... which as a side note. In his Vampire card vignette he names the play that made him like Neige so much: Kingsroad~ The Sword to Become King!~ which is literally the Sword in the Stone based off of the little song he sings from it. I have been going crazy since GloMas thinking about if this suggests that King Arthur is french in Twisted Wonderland or if Rook is referring to another play... personally I think he's from Sage's Island but that's a crack for another post

Part Four: Greek Myths and Religion

There doesn't really seem to be any religious presence in Twisted Wonderland at all. It's unclear if Hades was ever worshiped or if he was just referred to as a god due to his perceived immortality and power. Given that there is something called the Jupiter group... and the Shrouds are a branch of the Jupiter family... AND that the Titans you fight in Chapter 6 are yelling about getting to and killing Jupiter... I think that it's highly likely there are events in Twisted Wonderland's history that correlate to the stories of the Great Seven, but didn't necessarily involve the Great Seven themselves. It's just that those events are remembered as having been done by them... for some unknown reason. Not to be conspiratorial... but do we have any proof they ever actually lived in Twisted Wonderland at all? (━＿━)ゝSure there are relics and things, and there are apparently paintings in the Land of Dawning Meusuem, but where did they come from? How old are they? I don't need sleep I need answers, is this a primary or a secondary source about the Queen of Hearts Riddle?

The End

I also wish Yuu would ask more questions, but I get why they don't :/ this is a gacha game blah blah blah but also. I don't think Yuu knows what questions to ask, there's a lot of stuff about life you don't think about as being abnormal until someone looks at you funny and I think Yuu realistically does a lot of that, but if you put every single instance of that into a game it would get very exposition heavy very fast. Luckily you, I, and everyone reading this have massive brains and can talk to each other about it!!!

#<3 asks #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst yuu #twst theories

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emmaspersonaldiary · 1 day ago

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Going into detail about how I feel about all of my friends:

School friends

Gym:

-S: she's nice, but sometimes she says or does something that kinda makes me feel like that wasn't nice or that wasn't necessary and some things about her tick me off but I love her

Socials:

-m: I fucking hate you. I'm only still talking to you cuz I don't want to be alone in that class. You're such a bitch. Every class you call me stupid, and I started acting like I didn't understand your jokes but I do. That one time you called me an ogre? I think about that every time I look in the mirror. Die.

-g: you're so nice. I don't really talk to you but you're chill

Engineering:

-a: you're so funny ily

-m: sometimes you do or say things that annoy me, but you're cool

-a: you're funny and nice.

-j: you're funny and cool

-h: I love talking shit with you and you're so fun to play mobile games with at lunch

Science:

-S: you're such a dick. I'm only friends with you because if I leave you I won't be able to eat lunch with j, and I'll have nobody. But you make mean comments about people and have made me and my friend cry before.

English:

-m: ily you're so nice. I wish I sat beside you so I could talk to you more

-n: you're nice, but your humor hurts me sometimes. You tell me to kms a lot as a joke and sometimes I lowkey debate it

French:

-j: ily. You let me yap about Jeremy and Evan and literally anything I want and you don't really judge

Art and Jewlery:

-t: you're so pretty and kind. Literally trust you sm and I became friends with you in September

-h: sometimes you do things that make me feel like you're not nice, but other than that you're okay

-k: you're nice 👍

-o: you were literally my friend crush for the longest time I love your style and your art

People I eat lunch with:

-a: You're so nice

-a: sometimes you say things I don't agree with, but you're pretty okay

-b: I feel so bad for you when we're talking shit about arianna cuz you're the only one friends with her and none of us really like her

-d: I literally love you so much. You're my best friend. I love your cat and your dog and I love your parents and I feel like I'm a part of your family. I hope we move out together after high school and we blast theater kid music all day and I love calling you and being around you.

Online friends:

Tumblr:

@alchemicalwerewolf

You're so cool and I love talking to you and I love seeing your posts and spamming your ask box

@steph-schuyler

I'm so excited for our art collab. You're so cool

@afireformyheart

I love telling you about all my crushes and I love bugging you about random shit while you're busy

@ilov3b00kss0much

Ik I met you today but I loved talking to you

@th3p0rtalmaker

I love talking to you. Idk what it is it's just so satisfying.

@tatelangdonsgirl

I know we don't really talk anymore but I love seeing your tiktoks. You're so pretty and I really love when we spend all night texting.

All my other tumblr mutuals:

I love seeing your posts. Idc if we don't talk. I love you guys too

Tiktok/snapchat friends:

-E: ily. You're so funny and I love calling you

-N: I don't really know you but I'm glad I met you

-A: you were my best friend for a year straight. I would eat sleep and breathe you. I would wake up thinking about you and go to bed thinking about you. Then you spaced away and wouldn't tell me why. Then you replaced me. And it really hurt. And no matter how much I try, it'll never be the same.

#vent kinda?#i eat lunch with more people but if i already put them in classes i didnt repeat it #thought daughter activities #none of my non tumblr friends have tumblr #sooo #also i have math too as a block but i dont have any friends in it #and i didnt add any ex friends or enemies #but people i currently talk to

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sashabunnie · 2 months ago

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Hi! I apologize for not posting recently despite having a resurgence in wanting to draw. I've recently gotten a new art program and am still trying to figure out how to use it. In the meantime I'd like to discuss a topic I find important to talk about.

I recently received a question in my inbox. I found it rude and decided to delete and block the person. But now I'm realizing I could use this comment to educate those not in the art field on this subject, specifically about how proportions and different body types are taught to be drawn. I'll paraphrase the comment received:

"It's funny how you're fat but you draw yourself skinny, it's hilarious."

Yup that's the basis of what the comment was. I could tell from this comment that a) they're trying to be rude and mean and b) they at least don't draw humans and at most have no idea how to draw period.

Now you may be asking, how does this comment lead to an educational moment? I'm glad you asked.

I've been drawing since I can remember, and I only took a few art classes in middle school and highschool. Other than that I'm almost completely self taught and often took my inspiration from cartoons.

I also grew up in a much larger body than a good portion of my peers. I had binge e@ting disorder. This was caused by growing up in a poor family. I was taught to eat whatever I was offered(unless it was by a total stranger). I was also taught at school to inhale my food starting from kindergarten as we only got 15 minutes to eat and 15 minutes to play, if we went over the 15 minutes to eat we weren't allowed to play. Anyways this conditioned me to have BED.

Being overweight as a child was torture. Just like any ED it's very hard to control and even harder to spot in a child. I went untreated until I was 19. I'm a lot better now but sadly my stomach is now partially paralyzed.

Now like I said, growing up fat was extremely difficult, seeing others in my life who were skinnier than I, seeing all the cartoon shows on TV with the pretty skinny ladies and bulked up men, or even lanky men. And sure there were fat people in cartoons, but they're often portrayed as these lazy, stupid, people or they're middle aged with greying or thinning hair, in a mobility scooter, who are also portrayed as stupid and lazy.

I never saw a true representation of myself in cartoons. I never saw a plump nine year old with dreams to become a ballerina or baseball player, I never saw a bigger girl who exceeded in every class who wanted to become a paleontologist. All I saw were people making jokes about the fat character, how dumb and lazy they were.

But to me, I was never lazy or stupid. And when I started drawing myself I did so as a beautiful young person who was smart, clever, and always taken seriously. It was my escape from this world of hate.

Then I started taking art classes in middle school and highschool. They taught very basic anatomy in drawing, such as "this is how long your arm should be" and "the hand should be able to cover the face", just teaching proportions. But here's the catch, they hardly taught anything more than an hourglass shaped body for females and a rectangle shape for men.

In fact if we tried to explore more or less body shaped, whether it was a flat chested female, a dad bod male or vice versa, it was met with severe criticism.

Now over the years I've learned how to draw different body shapes and sizes better than I have in the past. And I have worked greatly to improve my self image and that a bit of extra fat here or there won't be the end all be all.

However that's not to say that I still have a hard time drawing myself as big as I see myself irl. The ED that warped from BED to OSFED in my teen years still yells at me from my mirror, telling me how ugly I am for being in a bigger body. People have told me several times that I'm not as big as the mirror says I am, which is true.

I may be in a bigger body but it's not to a point where my weight is affecting my health. The only real thing affecting my health are a slew of genetic disorders that I cannot control.

Just to conclude, just because someone draws themselves as bigger or smaller does not mean that they're delusional. It's just how they draw themselves.

Just be kind and non judgemental. You don't know what that person has been through and honestly it's not really your business unless it's a threat to safety, theirs or others.

And if you don't like what you see, scroll, it's not your place to get upset over something as small as someone drawing themselves in a different light than your perspective.

Love y'all!

(Picture of my gravity falls x the owl house OC for y'all)

#art #artists on tumblr #artwork #audhd artist #autistic artist #digital art #my art #disabled #eating disoder trigger warning #eating disoder recovery #be kind #don't judge a book by its cover #gravity falls #the owl house

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bangtanficsforyou · 2 years ago

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Girl Of His Dreams (03)

Pairing: Fuckboi! Jungkook x Reader

Au: Strangers to Lovers au

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut (eventually)

Rating: 18+

Word count: 9.5K

Summary: You think Jungkook is the utter definition of beauty. Jungkook thinks you’re cute but just not his type. Throw a magic ring into the equation, that makes you look like the girl of his dreams and you have the perfect recipe for heartbreak and tears.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

The pinging sound of your phone distracts you from your assignment. You put your pen down and look at your mobile screen to notice an incoming text message from Jungkook.

Jungkook: hey

You: hello

Jungkook: free for a chat?

Technically, you aren't.

You have assignments to complete and modules that need to be studied. It only makes sense for you to tell him that you're busy but then there's a part of you that's curious as to what Jungkook might have to say. Plus, you doubt you'd be able to focus on your assignment now, even if you try to. Your mind will keep going back to Jungkook and you will keep wondering if what he had to say was something important.

It's better you quench your curiosity and then get back to work as that will be more productive.

You: yeah sure

You: what's up?

Jungkook: nothing much

Jungkook: just wanted to talk to you :)

Jungkook: but firstly, i gotta ask, did you enjoy meeting Jimin and Taehyung today?

You: ofc I did!

You didn't.

It wasn't nice to be the unattractive one in a room full of attractive people. It wasn't nice to get judgemental looks from Jimin. It wasn't nice to watch Taehyung walk gracefully and realise how incompatible you're. But needless to say, you can't say all that to Jungkook.

Jungkook: well i'm glad

Jungkook: i look forward to our next practice session

You: me too!

A lie.

You chew on your lower lip as a thought occurs to you.

You: btw when is it?

Jungkook: I'm not sure

Jungkook: but most likely next week

Relief courses through your veins, at that. You'd at least get the time to prepare yourself.

You: works fine

Jungkook: we could meet sometime before that if you'd like?

You: for the competition?

You: like to discuss something about it?

Jungkook: nah

Jungkook: just to meet and get to know each other better ;)

Your stomach sinks at what he could possibly mean. But you try your best to not come to any conclusions, although the little wink at the end of his text makes it incredibly difficult for you to do so.

You: is this for anything in particular?

You: i'm asking because i'll have to check my schedule and make time accordingly

Jungkook: nothing in particular really

Jungkook: well we could maybe just go to a restaurant

Jungkook: eat and chat ;)

Uh oh. This definitely sounds like a date.

But you still refuse to come to a conclusion and decide to ask him directly.

You: tell me if I'm wrong but this is sounding like a date 🤔

Jungkook: well then maybe it is 😏

When you read the text that confirms your suspicions, you sigh.

You're aware that Jungkook thinks you're his dream partner. With that awareness comes the understanding that sooner or later he'd have asked you out on a date. Although to be fair, you didn't think it would be this soon. You thought you had more time before you had to face the consequences of your actions.

But then it's Jungkook. He does have this aura about him which gives off the impression that he just goes after what he wants, irrespective of the pace the rest of the world is accustomed to.

However, you don't feel excited at the thought of going on a date with him. If anything, it is making you feel guilty.

One month. Just one month. It's not permanent. The moment you remove the ring, Jungkook will stop seeing you as his ideal partner. Everything will go back to normal.

You repeat the words in your head like a mantra until you feel some of the guilt subside.

You: well then

You: it's a date

Jungkook: great!

Jungkook: are you free tomorrow? After the classes get over?

You: yeah, I am

Jungkook: great I'll come to pick you up

Jungkook: wear something nice for me 😉

Jungkook: oh also, what kind of food do you prefer?

Jungkook: Italian? Mexican? Chinese?

You: anything works for me

Jungkook: well that answer won't do :(

You: umm well then Italian sounds great!

Jungkook: done 👍

Wow.

You stare at your screen blankly as the whole conversation sinks in.

Looks like you are going on a date with Jungkook. That too tomorrow.

"I don't understand who made him a professor," Brie grumbles, looking done with everything.

"Trust me everyone in the class has the same question," you murmur, feeling a mix of amusement, frustration and annoyance.

The professor in question is Mr. Reymond, who writes whatever he has to, on board, while talking and explaining it to himself. Once done, he will ask the class if they have understood or not, but hey, he doesn't really care. Hence, he answers his own question and rubs the board before moving on to the next topic.

"Man, his classes always make me feel sleepy," she yawns. "It's such a pain in the ass to pretend that you're listening to his shit."

"Eh, it's not like he cares," you shrug, noticing the number of people who are busy chatting away, some even occupied with their phones.

Brie notices the same thing and wonders if she could get away with sleeping through the class. "Do you think he would care if we sleep?"

"Try it out, I guess."

"I should give it a try, it would be like a cool experiment," she nods, applauding herself for coming up with something this great. "Now, c'mon close your notebook and put your head down on the table."

You glance at her sideways. "I never said I'm gonna accompany you in your little sleep experiment."

"It's not like copying those notes blankly would do you any benefit." She rolls her eyes and takes the initiative to take your notebook away from you and closes it shut. "Now sleep."

You huff and contemplate. You won't lie, you are really sleepy. You woke up earlier than usual because you had to choose what to wear for today's date. It wasn't an easy decision to make as you had to settle on something that won't look too formal or fancy to attend classes in but at the same time won't look too casual to wear on a date. Ultimately, you squared down to a yellow dress. It's simple yet elegant, which makes it the perfect choice.

But the question in hand is should you give in to your sleepiness? You look at Brie who's looking at you with eyes full of expectations and sigh. A nap is worth it. Who knows maybe you'll wake up looking fresh.

Brie grins at you, satisfied and proud when you put your head down before she does the same.

As it turns out, Mr. Reymond couldn't really care less about his students taking a nap in the middle of the class. Good for both of you, as when the bell rings, you two wake up feeling refreshed and energised.

"Want to go to the nearby cafe?" Brie asks, as she packs her bag up.

"I can't, I have assignments to complete."

That's technically not a lie, you do have assignments that need to be done. However, it's not due to the assignments that you deny accompanying Brie to the cafe. You're supposed to go on your little date with Jungkook and it's only after the date that you'll be able to return to your college work. But you can't tell that to Brie and hence give her the half-truth.

She sighs and mumbles to herself, "I should have guessed that response."

You two head out of the class and you take your phone out with the intention of shooting Jungkook a text to let him know that your classes are done for the day.

"Hey, isn't it that guy?" Brie elbows you and asks in a hushed whisper. "What's his name?"

You furrow your brows, interrupted mid texting and look at Brie in a questioning manner. She motions you to look in a particular direction and your eyes follow hers.

Your mouth parts open in surprise and your steps halt when you realise who it is. "Jungkook."

"Jungkook! Jeon Jungkook! That's what his name is," Brie exclaims, finally feeling satisfied having put the puzzle of his name in place.

You look back at the screen of your phone and delete the words you had typed. Fuck, when Jungkook had said he would be coming to pick you up, you didn't think he meant right in front of your classroom.

"Isn't he a fashion designing student, though? What is he doing here in our building?" Brie asks out loud to no one in particular.

"You know him?" Your ask, your interest suddenly piqued.

"Well duh," she states with an expression as if that should be obvious. "Who doesn't know him? He's famous for being a fuckboy. Wonder what the girls see in him, though."

Well, that makes sense. After all, Jungkook has got quite a reputation for that. "I mean, he's attractive. I think that does it for him," you shrug.

She scoffs in amusement and looks at you in disbelief. "Y/N, please. He's not attractive."

Now, it's you who's looking at her in disbelief. "Are you blind? He's literally one of the most handsome guys I have ever come across."

"Eh, I don't find anything attractive about being a jerk," Brie replies without missing a beat as she looks over to where Jungkook is with eyes full of judgement.

Say whatever anyone wants, there's no changing Brie's mind about the opinion she holds of him. She had seen many girls cry over him and had formed a sense of dislike towards the guy from the very beginning. But it wasn't something personal until Jungkook broke Sana's heart.

Sana, who's a very dear friend of Brie's, is also one of the sweetest and kindest people she has ever met. The audacity Jungkook had playing with Sana's heart had Brie fuming.

She had half the mind to go and punch Jungkook right in his face but somehow managed to hold back her anger. But it wasn't only Jungkook who was on the receiving end of her rage, it was Sana as well.

She simply couldn't understand why Sana would ever expect anything more from Jungkook, despite knowing the kind of reputation he has. Brie did not mean to be that person, but she couldn't help but think that people walking up to him and offering their hearts on a silver plate gave Jungkook the perfect excuse to not own up to the hurt he causes people and say 'they signed up for it'.

However, according to Sana, she had genuinely believed that Jungkook cared for her and liked her enough to not let the relationship be just another casual fling. But of course, she was proved wrong.

Brie had several logical arguments why expecting something more from Jungkook was foolish. But the tears that streamed down Sana's face, had made Brie's heart soften. It made her realise that she did not need to make the points as Sana was most likely telling those things to herself anyway.

Things become messy when despite knowing, that you'll end up getting hurt, you go for it, thinking and believing that it's worth it. When the hurt and pain do catch up, who do you blame? The person who caused it or yourself?

If only Jungkook had a decent bone in his body and knew how to respect people's emotions.

Nevertheless, since that incident, Brie has been holding this resentment towards the boy for making someone like Sana feel this way. She simply can't keep calm every time she thinks about the amount of hurt he causes people and gets away with. Just like that, without any consequences.

Imagine her surprise when she realises that Jungkook; the very same Jungkook she despises, is walking towards the both of you.

The moment you have the same realisation, you look away from him and look down at your feet. You chew on your bottom lip and keep your gaze fixed on the ground, trying to avoid any weird looks you might be getting from the people around.

Jungkook stops in front of you and grins at the way you refuse to look at him. He bends down so that your eyes and his, are at the same level and greets you. "Hey, Y/N."

"Umm hey," you greet back meekly.

He assumes you're feeling shy and the thought makes him oddly satisfied.

"Are you ready for our date?" He queries.

Brie chokes on thin air and starts coughing loudly. "What do you mean by date?"

You look up immediately to answer Brie before Jungkook can but your words get stuck in your throat when you notice the look on Brie's face.

It's that of incredulity.

Her eyes go back and forth between you and Jungkook and it immediately makes you feel the same way you did under Jimin's gaze. You assume that she is most likely thinking the same thing Jimin did; why is Jungkook going on a date with you?

But the fact that it's coming from Brie, makes you more defensive than you were when it came to Jimin.

You almost feel betrayed?

"I think the word 'date' is pretty self-explanatory," you snap, without intending to.

Your sudden defensive stance and stiff body language catches Brie off guard. And before she can ask anything else, you leave the spot and start walking towards the main gate.

Jungkook walks right behind you.

"Who was she?" Jungkook pries once the two of you are out. Although the interaction was short, he could feel how the question asked by the girl caused you visible discomfort.

You take a deep exhale and feel immediate regret for the way you responded to Brie. You don't know why you reacted the way you did. Anyone would think the way Jimin did. Anyone would wonder why someone like Jungkook would take interest in someone like you. So what if Brie is your friend? That doesn't mean that she doesn't have a pair of eyes and common sense. Why did you even think that she would have a different reaction?

"She's Brie," you sigh softly. "She's my friend."

"I see," Jungkook nods, taking the hint that you do not wish to elaborate any further. "Should I call the car then?"

This has you blinking and stops your overthinking. "Car?"

Jungkook winks at you. "You didn't think I'd take you out in an uber, did you?"

Well to be fair, you didn't expect anything in particular. You were too busy stressing about how you should go about things to think about what Jungkook might have planned for the date.

You watch silently as Jungkook types something on his phone and moments later a Mercedes pulls over. You're too much of a noob to guess what the model is but you can tell it's expensive (well, to be fair, all Mercedes cars are).

He quickly walks up to the car and opens the backseat door for you. "Come on, hop in," he urges you, looking excited.

You thank him with a small, unsure smile and get in. Jungkook shuts the door before jogging over to the other side and getting in.

He sits next to you and asks the chauffeur to start the car, having already told him where to go.

However, you have no idea. You're in a car which has three people in it and it's only you who has no clue where you're headed. This doesn't sit right with you and causes your curiosity to spike.

"Where are we going?" You query looking at Jungkook expectantly.

"You will see when we reach there," he replies with a small curve of his lips. "That dress looks really cute on you, by the way. It suits you."

You have never believed any of Jungkook's compliments. You know he only says that because he is viewing you through the rose-coloured glasses the ring has put on him. Hence, every time he gives you these little compliments, you just pretend to accept them with a smile.

But for the first time, it occurs to you, how thoughtless it is of you to not compliment him in return.

Hence your eyes go on a little mission to find something you could compliment him on, knowing full well that there's plenty you could acknowledge and sing praises of.

However, your little mission is proven to be fatal when you get distracted by how ethereal Jungkook looks.

For the first time, you take notice of the white shirt he's wearing. The plain simple piece of clothing makes him look like an angel but the top three buttons which are kept undone make him look like sin.

With his right hand gripping the roof handle, his elbow rests on the window pane and the position somehow makes the veins in his arms bulge out. You find yourself feeling grateful for the rolled-up sleeves as it lets you have a clear view of his thick muscular arms that are inked with tattoos.

Your eyes move from his arms to the expanse of chest that's visible and the sight has you gulping. Gosh, why does it make you want to run your hands over his chest? You shake that thought away and think that it's a wise decision for your eyes to move on to somewhere safer; where you won't be having these unholy thoughts. Your eyes trail up towards his neck and eventually to his face.

His lips. They look so soft and plump and it makes you imagine how they'd feel against yours. The little mole under his lower lip adds to the beauty of his mouth and makes them look even more kissable. You don't even want to get started with the way his lips are curved upwa–

Wait. Why are they curved upwards?

Your eyes snap to his and shit. He's been watching you along.

Your whole body heats up in embarrassment and you scold yourself for having these thoughts.

Jungkook is attractive but that doesn't mean that you should be going on thinking about how kissable his lips are. It was one thing when you were doing it earlier but it's a whole different thing, now. You don't want to imagine kissing him because you'd never let something like that happen.

Him kissing you under the influence of the ring would be the same thing as someone spiking a person's drink and taking advantage of them. You'd never be able to live with yourself, if you were to do that.

You know what you're doing right now is probably no better but as long as it's harmless flirting and silly dates.

Only a month. Only a month. Only a month.

"Done checking me out?"

You look away, flustered and ashamed. "I wasn't."

He knows you're lying.

He also knows that you know that he knows, you're lying. Hence, he decides not to argue. Instead, he takes out his phone and connects it to the car's speaker.

Your brows knit together when you hear the melody that's now playing through the speakers.

"That's my favourite song," you inform Jungkook, your state of surprise turning into that of joy. Your mood lifts instantly as the light-hearted song greets your ears.

"I know," he responds, trying his level best to hold back the smile that's threatening to make an appearance.

Now, that has you looking at him weirdly. How on earth does he know that this is one of your favourite songs?

"How do you know that this is my favourite song?"

"Let's just say I stumbled upon a post yesterday that happened to let me know of this fun fact." The smile that he was trying to hold back, finally breaks across his face and his eyes sparkle with mischief.

Your brows shoot up. Here, you were thinking that maybe it's just pure coincidence and that maybe he likes this song too. But, no. Boy knew exactly what he was doing.

A fleeting thought appears in your mind as to what pictures he might have seen and whether you even looked presentable in them. But you find it easier to get rid of that thought by telling yourself that he's still here. If he had found those pictures ugly, he would have not gone on a date with you.

"So you were stalking me?" You squint your eyes at him in a scolding manner. "You just keep proving to me that you're a red flag."

Jungkook raises his hands in the air as if surrendering. What other option does he have anyway? He has nothing to say to defend himself. It's not like he wants to even. He isn't ashamed of his doings, at all. If anything, it was fun.

"Don't blame me. It's all your fault anyways," he retorts. "Your profile appeared on my for you page and how could I resist the urge to stare at that gorgeous face of yours?"

A red hue appears on your cheeks. You may not believe in his words but the way he looks at you every time while complimenting you, makes you want to hide from his intense gaze.

"Well, my profile let you know of my favourite song," you state, trying to deflect the topic. "What else did you happen to learn from my socials?"

"Let's see. You have a family dog, he's an Australian Shepherd. His name is Jack," he mused while running a hand through his hair. "Your favourite subject is biology and maths. You have a thing for Tom Hiddleston. And chocolate-flavoured ice cream is your favourite."

Damn. They are all correct. You didn't even know someone could know so much about you just from your instagram page.

"You know almost everything about me," you almost stutter your words out.

"I hardly think it's much. I bet there's a lot I don't know about you," he comments.

There isn't. Nothing interesting, at least.

Clearing your throat, you once again, change the topic of conversation and make it about him. "Compared to what I know about you, you do seem to know a lot about me."

He hums, acknowledging your point. "Well, what would you like to know about me?"

You shake your head, refusing to make things easy. "Nah, nah, nah. I'm going to stalk your insta and deduce my facts."

He laughs with his head thrown back, putting his neck on display. "Sure, then. Go ahead. Do your research."

You huff as if to say, challenge accepted. Taking your phone out from your bag, you type his name on the search bar and click on his profile when it shows up.

"Look at that, you haven't followed me yet," Jungkook whispers right next to your ears as he leans towards you to get clearer access to your mobile screen.

You yelp, not expecting him to be that close. Shuddering when his breath hits the skin of your neck, you pray to whatever god there is to give you strength to make it through the car ride.

You try to focus back on the screen and on the silly challenge you have taken. Scrolling through his insta, you realise there isn't really anything that gives away much about Jungkook. His account is full of pictures of his designs and some occasional photos with his friends and of him partying.

What's worse? All posts are captionless.

Not wanting to accept defeat, you choose to scroll down even further. There must be a time when he put up pictures without giving them much thought. Maybe when he was in high school? Yes, that sounds about right. That's definitely the age when people find even a leaf on the ground worth posting on their social media.

However, your strong sense of determination dims when you reach his last post only to find that it's some quote.

You huff and lock your phone screen, which makes Jungkook lean back, finally allowing you to breathe freely.

"This is unfair," you complain with no real bite.

"It's not my fault, I'm just a private person," he defends himself with a wide bunny grin.

"But you know so much about me."

"I assure you, you'll get plenty of time to make things even," he winks, suggesting that this might be both of your first date but definitely not the last.

"You're under my observation," you inform him in a serious tone. "Just wait until I have got you all figured out."

"I will be patiently waiting," his eyes crinkle in the corner as he enjoys the playfulness of the conversation.

Before you can come up with a response, the car comes to a halt and you're reminded that this car ride isn't going to go on forever. You wish, it did though.

Maybe it's the ring that makes you feel confident enough to say what comes to your mind but somehow, you were comfortable like this with Jungkook. But now it feels like the small bubble you were in, has popped. You will have to step out and you are sure people will give you the same looks Jimin and Brie did.

Before you can mentally prepare yourself, a valet opens the door for you. You smile at him and step out.

Your mouth falls open when you realise where you are. It's one of the costliest Italian places in the city.

"I knew you'd like it."

Jungkook feels content seeing the look of awe and surprise on your face. It tells him that you were not expecting to be here and perhaps that's exactly what he wanted.

"I-I do," you stutter trying to find the right words to describe how you're feeling. "It's just that I wish you had told me that we were coming here. I would have dressed accordingly."

"If you were to ask me, you are dressed just right." Jungkook comments. "And you don't need to worry about dressing right. Irrespective of what you wear, you are always the prettiest in the room."

You give Jungkook a small smile to let him know that you appreciate his words. However, his words don't have much of an effect in easing your nerves.

How can it ease you when you know that everything Jungkook is saying is because of the ring? You know you aren't the prettiest. Something which is highlighted even more by Jungkook's presence next to you.

Jungkook takes a hold of your hand— totally oblivious to your insecure thoughts— and with a wide excited grin guides you inside.

"Good evening sir. Good evening ma'am," the receptionist greets the both of you with a warm welcoming smile. "May I please have the name the reservation was made under?"

"Jeon Jungkook," Jungkook replies.

The receptionist nods and does a quick check on his computer before looking up. "Sam will guide you to your table. I hope you enjoy your time with us."

A waiter approaches both of you and upon reading his nametag you realise that it's Sam.

"Please follow me," he requests, politely.

You and Jungkook trail behind Sam until he leads you both to a more secluded area and ultimately stops near a two-seater round table. On your way, you keep your eyes fixed on the ground and try to make a curtain out of your hair so that people don't get a look at your face.

"Please take a seat. Your attendant will be with you shortly." Sam bows, before taking his leave.

Now that you feel a bit more comfortable with the area being secluded, you set your hair back in position and take notice of your surroundings.

You look around in amazement and take in how quaint the place is and how peaceful it feels. Unlike the low murmur outside, there's a low soothing music in the air which greets your ears and makes you relax. The lights are dimmed and to make up for it, hangs a chandelier right above the table and a beautiful vase of bright red roses sits at the centre. Dare you say everything looks very romantic?

The sound of chair scraping against the floor catches your attention.

"Per favore prendi posto," Jungkook says with an Italian accent. Tries to. It comes out so adorably terrible that you end up laughing.

He frowns, confused. "Was that funny?"

You try your best to stop your laughter but the confused expression on his face doesn't help. A few moments later, as your laughter dials down to small chuckles, you finally manage to reply to his question. "It was unique. I have never heard that accent before."

Jungkook squints his eyes and extends his hand for you to take. "Why don't you teach me then?"

You put your hand in his and let him guide you to your seat. "I know for a fact that every time I try to do an accent, it comes out terrible. So, I'm not even going to try."

Once you are seated, Jungkook does the same. "Well, I should at least get points for trying. I listened to a few Italian phrases over and over again during our entrepreneurship class."

"Well you do get points for your efforts," you smile cheekily and shrug.

"Well you're worth the effort," he flirts, not missing the opportunity.

Worth the effort. Something about those words makes your smile drop.

Mayhaps, it's because you have recently been questioning your worthiness and have been wondering exactly how much of the good things and experiences that you have always wished for, do you actually deserve.

Going on a date with a handsome guy and having your heart flutter at the romantic gestures made by him, had always been something that you wanted to feel and experience.

Here you are. Having exactly that experience but feeling way different than you had imagined.

Here's Jungkook, saying how you're worth the effort and all it does is remind you of the fact that it's all because of a ring. That you need a ring for someone to think that way.

Ironically, it makes you feel worthless.

"Good evening, I'll be your attendant for today," a waitress arrives and introduces herself to the both of you with a smile. However—and you might be wrong—but the smile she shoots at you and the one she shoots Jungkook seem different.

"Uhh right," Jungkook trails off awkwardly, realising that the two of you haven't taken a look at the menu at all. "We have not yet decided what to order."

The waitress smiles, putting her beautiful set of teeth on display. "That's not an issue, sir. Just let me know when you're ready and I'll take your order."

With that she bows and leaves.

"Take this," he hands you a menu book while he opens another copy of the same. "I have never been to this place before but I have heard that the food is good."

Your eyes scan the list of food items on the menu book and the prices next to them. Everything is overpriced but it does not surprise you. As long as the preparations are good, you think.

After much thinking, you choose to order lasagne while Jungkook orders risotto.

When the waitress is done taking the orders, she asks if there's anything else the two of you would like. You can't help but notice how despite the question involving both of your choices, her question is directed at Jungkook. Her eyes remain fixed on his and she totally ignores your presence.

It's only when Jungkook asks if you'd like some red wine that she is forced to acknowledge you.

"Yeah, sure." You could really do with some wine now.

You exhale a sigh when the waitress leaves. To not overthink what her behaviour could possibly mean—although you already have some idea—you try to make a conversation with Jungkook.

"This place is really nice," you look around, appreciating the little details that make this place such a calm and soothing one. "You have good taste."

"To be honest, I just googled the costliest Italian place near me and this came up."

You quirk a brow, finding his thought process to be somewhat funny. "So you just wanted to show off how rich you are?"

He finds your question amusing. What he finds even more entertaining is how directly you ask him about it. "Well, being rich is supposed to be attractive."

"I mean I guess everyone has their preferences," you nod, not giving his words much thought.

However, your casual tone has Jungkook suddenly curious about whether you find it attractive or not.

"What are your preferences? Do you find rich guys attractive?"

"I won't necessarily say so. I mean sure, it's ideal if a person is well off. But it's not like being rich is a character trait or something."

Jungkook finds himself feeling confused by your words as it doesn't make it clear to him. You said you don't really find it attractive but then you also mentioned how it's ideal if it's someone who's well off.

You notice the look of confusion on his face and elaborate your point a little. "If you were to imagine the perfect case scenario, you'd obviously imagine there to be no lack. Why would you daydream and imagine a person having any sort of struggle, be it financial or of any other form?"

Jungkook kind of gets your point. Perfect case scenario; the person is well off. But it still doesn't satisfy him as not everyone can afford that lifestyle. "Not everyone's rich, though. There's only a small part of society that can be classified as rich and well-off. Does it not make the rich ones more attractive and more desirable?"

You hum, finding the conversation interesting. "Again, like I said it's about individual preference–"

"What do you prefer?" He cuts you off, reminding you how his initial query was about your preferences. He couldn't care less about other people's choices if he were, to be honest.

"For me, I don't think I have considered a person's bank balance before going out with them," you muse, thoughtfully. "So no, I don't think being rich makes someone attractive."

"How come?" He prods finding your response simply absurd.

"For one, it's their parents'. No one becomes rich at the age we are unless you're in the entertainment industry or you own a startup that took off really well," you hum and pause for a moment or two, trying to figure out how to put your thoughts into words.

"Second, money is never stable. You can be a billionaire one day, a millionaire the next and broke the day after. It could go vice versa as well, you could become a billionaire from being broke," you add, your words spilling out one after the other. "Wealth will come and go but if my attraction is based on that, then it's bound to be fickle."

When you had initially said that a guy's wealth is not necessarily attractive to you, Jungkook presumed that you were lying. But as you speak he can sense the amount of thought you're giving into your words and realises that you were speaking the truth.

"Being wealthy is advantageous though."

"Never said it wasn't–" you agree, "–and trust me no one knows that better than the people who come from a humble background."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He tilts his head, trying to understand where you're taking this conversation.

"Some like to assert their superiority by displaying the advantages they enjoy. They believe that others need to be reminded of the luxury the rich can afford. Which is kind of stupid because, people who aren't well off, are aware of it already."

"Do you think I consider myself to be superior just because I'm rich?" A challenging look enters his gaze as he asks the question that comes to his mind immediately after hearing your words.

"We wouldn't be having this conversation if you didn't," you reply, not faltering under his gaze and perhaps for the first time, it's you who smirks in satisfaction.

Jungkook, who had been leaning forward and had one of his elbows on the table, now reclines such that his back touches the chair. He looks at you for a few moments and then suddenly breaks into a fit of chuckles. Something that causes you to giggle as well.

Jungkook has never been shy about the wealth his family has acquired over the years. Be it in the way he throws luxurious parties every once in a while or be it in the way he chooses different cars to arrive at college, he always makes a statement about his wealth. It is also one of the many reasons why he has never had to put much effort into getting the girls he has been interested in.

He does not know how many of them have found his habit of displaying his money attractive and how many have found it the opposite, but one thing's for sure; no one has ever called him out for it right on his face. And he just can't help but find amusement and humour in it.

He doesn't even know how the conversation came to this, because to be honest, it's a very weird topic of discussion for a first date. But he won't lie, he enjoyed it nevertheless. It was refreshing.

The rest of the evening goes by just fine. Once the wine gets in your system, you loosen up and giggle at the smallest of things. The dishes, although overpriced, are delicious and are a great treat for both of your tastebuds.

Perhaps, the only thing that makes you uncomfortable is the waitress. Every time she comes to your table, she somehow manages to intentionally ignore you without making it obvious. Her total disregard for you and the unnecessarily wide grins she gives Jungkook, makes you squirm in your seat.

However, you try your best to ignore it. You succeed at it even. But once you two are done with your food, she comes with the bill and what you have been trying to ignore, becomes unavoidable.

You take the bill, intending to split it in two when you notice that she has left a small note at the bottom.

Call me when you get bored with her ;)

And right below it, is her number.

Your mood deflates dramatically when you read it. Is it that obvious to others, that you aren't exactly what someone would prefer? That sooner or later, someone would get bored of you?

Believing the answer to these questions to be yes, you pretend to not have noticed the little note and pass the bill to Jungkook.

After one month, when you remove the ring and when Jungkook ultimately stops seeing you as his dream partner, who knows maybe he will end up using her number. Yes, you can totally see that happening. She's also his type. Unlike you.

Jungkook opens the menu book, inside which lies the bill and notices what the waitress has written for him. It makes him chuckle. "She left her number for me."

Your left eye twitches a little. "I know."

He shakes his head at the waitress's silly behaviour, not paying it any mind.

You won't ever say it out loud but maybe you expected a little more reaction from Jungkook. Anything to defend you and recognize how disrespectful her words were.

But you try pushing those thoughts away. It's only for a month and Jungkook is most likely more than used to girls giving him their numbers. Moreover, it's not like Jungkook would be here sitting in front of you on a date, had it not been for the ring. Who are you to expect things from him when you're doing something so low? Beggars can't be choosers.

"I am gonna pay my share of the bill using card," you inform him, unzipping your purse.

Jungkook frowns at you. "You do realise that I'm the one who's paying right?"

"Nope, we are gonna split the bill in half," you vehemently disagree.

He is baffled at your weird behaviour. He's the one who asked you out on a date, he's the one who chose this place and hence, shouldn't it be a given that he's the one who's going to pay?

"There's no way I'm letting you pay," he states, leaving no room for argument.

Splitting the bill in two, is simply what has always seemed right to you. You have always been the kind of person who would offer and prefer to pay for their share. You believe that to be morally right.

But maybe, if it were someone else, you wouldn't be so hellbent on paying. You would have understood that it's only a first date and that they are more than comfortable paying. If it were someone else, you'd most likely accept their generosity and later take them out on a date to make things equal.

But it's Jungkook. The same Jungkook who thinks lowly of the real you. If you were to let him pay, you doubt you'd be able to sleep peacefully at night.

You see how determined he is to not let you pay but you refuse to back down. You gnaw on your lower lip as you come up with something that might just be a little childish and silly.

Before Jungkook can comprehend a thing, you're getting up from your seat and quite literally start running. Jungkook sits there with his eyes wide in surprise as he fails to understand what just happened. It's only after a few moments that he realises that you're headed towards the reception, to pay.

This makes him get up from his seat at the speed of light and he too starts sprinting like a man on a mission.

However, and much to his dismay, when he approaches the reception, your card is in the process of being swiped.

Jungkook heaves, not prepared to be running right after having a meal. "My goodness, you're something."

"For someone who looks this fit, you really shouldn't be running out of breath after sprinting a few steps," you tease playfully, trying to steer away the conversation from the topic of paying the bill.

He immediately tries to take deep slow breaths to give the impression that he isn't having a tough time getting air in his lungs. "I can breathe just fine. I was just caught off guard by you suddenly taking off."

"You left me with no other choice," you shrug as you collect your card back.

Having finally accepted defeat, Jungkook swipes his card and proceeds with his payment.

When the both of you are done, you two head out after thanking the man at the reception for their services. Once out, you take a deep inhale of the fresh air, feeling glad that you're out of the restaurant and of the fact that you'll most likely never see that waitress again. You think you're finally done with all the uncomfortable situations for today and find yourself looking forward to returning to the dorms.

You're proven wrong when Jungkook asks a question you didn't even know had the potential of making you feel distressed.

"Let's take a picture."

He takes his phone out and opens the camera application. The moment he turns the camera towards you, you bring your palms up to cover your face.

"Ah, no I look so tired. Don't click my pictures."

Jungkook frowns but complies and brings his phone down. At least, for the time being.

"You weren't this shy when we met the first time," he wonders out loud. You feeling uncomfortable modelling in front of Jimin and Taehyung was understandable, after all, you were meeting them for the first time and you don't have much experience with modelling. The fear of embarrassing yourself is natural. However, the more time he spends with you, the more he realises how shy and skittish you are. Not that it's a bad thing, it's just different from the first impression he had of you.

Your eyes snap to him when you register his words. Your mind reminds you of the things you did before the ring and it immediately makes you cringe.

"Please don't remind me of that," you mumble in a small voice, suddenly finding your heels very interesting.

"Hey," he whispers upon realising that he might have said the wrong thing. He places his index finger below your chin and makes you look at him. "I meant it when I said that you're always the prettiest in the room."

It's all because of the ring. You know Jungkook would never say this, otherwise. Despite that, the insecure voice in your head quietens downs a little.

"Even though your hair is a little messy," he adds light-heartedly and pats the top of your head to smooth out the frizziness. "You still look unearthly."

His eyes hold a certain warmth and gentleness to them, that you haven't seen from him before. It makes the rest of the world fade away and makes you whisper, "Thank you."

Had it been anyone else, Jungkook would be making his move and would be kissing them right now. But you're not just anyone else. You're, you.

Jungkook has always had a certain formula for dates. Ask them out, book a table in an expensive hotel, take them to the destination in one of his luxurious cars, flirt around a little to make them feel flustered and once the date is coming to an end, kiss them. It's always been that simple.

However, the date with you was different. Except for a few particular moments, he didn't feel like he had the upper hand at all. It was like going on a pre-planned journey but then you took over the driver seat and took him along with you on a ride.

"Do you want to take a picture?" This time, he asks in a gentle tone, instead of just stating it like he did the previous time.

Although you still feel unsure, you nod.

Jungkook, happy that you finally agreed to take a picture, brings his phone up and positions it such that the both of you are in frame. He tilts his head so that it's touching yours and clicks the picture.

He looks at the photo and grins, satisfied with the result. "Look at the picture, it is cute."

You fail to find anything cute about yourself but hum, nevertheless.

When you reach your dorms, it's around eight in the evening. Thanks to Jungkook who wanted to go around the city a little and took the long way back.

Nevertheless, you are glad to be back in the comfort of your dorms. Thankfully your roommate isn't here, which saves you from the grilling questions she would be throwing at you, otherwise.

You complete your assignments, clean up your room and make yourself a packet of ramen before going to bed.

With your cheek pressed against the pillow and your arms tightly hugging the plush toy you got recently, you recall the events from today's date.

It was one of a kind, that's for sure.

At first, it didn't feel quite right. But gradually, you just went with the flow.

The more you spend time with Jungkook, the more you get comfortable saying the things you usually would. Of course, it's not all rainbows and sunshine but it's still enough. If the Y/N from two weeks ago were to learn about the way you talk to him now, she would most likely never believe you.

Most importantly, you don't dread spending time with him as much.

Ignoring the waitress incident, you'd say that the date was enjoyable even.

One moment, which stands out to you, however, is the little moment you shared with him towards the end of the date. You weren't surprised by the words he said but the seriousness with which he said them almost had you breathless.

A small smile appears involuntary on your lips as you recall the look in his eyes and it almost makes you feel….shy?

But the moment you realise what you're doing, you shake away the feeling. It's all because of the ring, you remind yourself repeatedly until the little warmth that you were feeling is completely gone.

Pledging to not think about the date and Jungkook anymore, you tightly shut your eyes and wait for sleep to take over you.

When your eyes open, you're in a whole different place.

You don't know where you are but it feels comfortable, familiar and safe. You look around a little in hopes that maybe you will recognise the place but you fail to find any clues.

After some time, you notice a bright light at the end of the tunnel.

But wait, is this a tunnel?

You don't know. It might as well be a cave. You can't tell, really. Whatever it might be, you don't feel the urge to figure out the exact answer as it feels so familiar. As if you have known this place forever.

However, the light has you curious. What is it? Where is it coming from? What lies out there?

You hesitate for a split second if you should leave this place of comfort but in the end, curiosity gets the best of you.

You take tiny steps and head outside. The bright light makes you wince in discomfort. A look of irritation appears on your features as your pupils try to adjust to the brightness. You squint your eyes hard and try to look for the source of the light. However, you look away immediately, finding it impossible to stare at the object.

Giving up, you allow your pupils the time it needs to adapt. When you feel comfortable enough to look around, your eyes take in everything about the environment you currently find yourself in.

It's new, somewhere you have never been before which makes you feel nervous. Who knows what you're going to encounter here? What kind of people you'll meet? What experiences will you have?

A sudden cheer coming from a distance catches your attention and without giving it a second thought, you start walking in that direction. Anything is better than being alone in an unknown place.

However, after a few steps, what you see, dissipates your fears.

You see swings, seesaws, slides and a variety of other rides that look incredibly fun. Birds chirp away, colourful butterflies fly from one flower to another and fishes swim in the pond.

It's a playground, you realise.

You look down at your feet and only then do you happen to notice that you're barefoot and that you have been walking on soft grass all along. Excitement blooms in your chest when you see how beautiful everything around you is. You have never felt anything like this before. There's so much to do, so much to enjoy and so much to see.

Deciding that it's the fishes you want to see first, you rush to the pond side and crouch down.

You stare in awe as you see a variety of fishes, varying vastly in size and colour, swim around in the water. Some occasionally come to the surface which causes small bubbles to come out of their mouths. Then, your eyes land on the water lilies and you gasp at how beautiful they are. You look at the water droplets that rest on the petals and you feel awe at how perfectly round they are; like little pearls. You dip your hand in the pond and the cold water brings contrast to the warmth you have been feeling on your skin since stepping out.

Warmth. Light. Too much light.

Suddenly something clicks in your mind and you realise that the source of light you were trying to figure out a few moments ago, was the Sun.

You giggle at the thought that it took you so much time to realise that.

You're so silly.

Shrill excited screams greet your ears and your eyes snap in the direction the noise came from. Your smile widens even further when you realise it's a group of children playing together. They look so happy and ecstatic chasing each other that it immediately makes you want to join.

You get up and run in their direction. "Can I join?" A bright grin plays on your lips as you look at them expectantly.

The children stop playing and look at you. Their bright smiles fade slowly and something cruel, and menacing takes over their features. The sky turns grey, thunder roars and owls start to screech.

You immediately know that there is something wrong. You turn around and start running with all that you have got.

But you only make it so far.

A tall, dark, hooded figure appears in front of you and out of nowhere, you lose your mobility. You try your best to move your feet and run but to no avail.

The mystery figure starts laughing loudly and you start feeling this crushing pain in your chest that's somehow both physical and emotional. You wail and cry for mercy but no one shows sympathy.

God, you should have just stayed where you were. Why did you choose to come out?

Your eyes snap open and the first thing you do is turn on the lights. Looking around you realise that you are in your dorm and that it was just a dream.

However, that realisation doesn't soothe you. You find yourself still being in flight or fight mode and the crushing pain in your chest refuses to leave.

You get up and grab a glass of water. With a displeased scowl on your face, you replay the dream you just had.

You have never had a dream like this before. You may have dreamt of monsters and magical places but never have you felt the emotions so vividly. And for some reason, the dream was scarier than any dream you have ever had.

You go to the washroom and splash your face with water. Taking a few deep breaths, you place your hand on your chest and try to calm yourself down.

After five minutes or so, you feel a bit steady. You splash your face a few more times before looking into the mirror.

It's only a dream, you tell yourself.

There's no point in trying to look into it or in trying to find some deeper meaning behind it. It may take a few minutes more for the remnant emotions to fade but there's no point in getting so worked up over it.

You sit on your bed and scroll through Instagram, hoping that it will act as a distraction and once again, find yourself waiting for sleep to take over.

The next day, you go to class looking like a zombie because sleep wasn't your friend last night. After that dream, it just simply refused to visit and as a result of which you were forced to stare at the ceiling like a fool.

You would have honestly preferred to miss the first few classes but then you refused to do so as you owe an apology to Brie. Talking to her and letting her know that you didn't mean to react that way comes way before getting an early morning nap.

With a practised speech (because you can't risk letting anything about the ring out) that you hope conveys your emotions, you walk into your class and look if Brie's here already. When you notice that she isn't, you find an empty seat and put your bag on the seat next to you, to save a seat for Brie.

You take out the storybook you started reading only a week ago and start reading it. However, after a few moments, you feel as if people are looking at you. You try to ignore it, thinking that it's just your mind playing games. But it soon becomes so uncomfortable that you are forced to look up from your book.

As it turns out, it wasn't just your mind playing games. People really are looking at you and are murmuring among themselves.

Before you can even come up with assumptions as to what this is about, someone taps on your shoulders, aggressively.

And of course, it's Brie.

"Explain this," she demands and shoves her phone at your face and looks at you, expecting an answer.

"Geez, calm down," you say with a light awkward chuckle.

"Sorry, can't," she clicks her tongue in annoyance and urges you to take a look at her phone.

You do so and look at the screen and you suddenly understand why people are looking at you weirdly. It's the same picture you and Jungkook clicked yesterday using his phone. The only difference is, it's now on Jungkook's instagram available for everyone to see.

"Shit," you whisper as your face pales.

You didn't for once consider the possibility that he will upload the picture on his Instagram.

There's nothing you can do now, you realise. It's already out and by the looks of it, is a topic of discussion among your peers.

Your eyes fall on the ring and a feeling of annoyance sparks within you. You thought this ring would make things easier for you. You just wanted one month of peace and happiness.

Why then, do you find yourself unable to feel those very emotions?

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Much love ❤️

#Jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #Jungkook fluff #Jungkook smut #Jungkook au #Jungkook series #College au #Strangers to lovers #Fantasy au-ish?#Jungkook x oc #Fic: gohd #Fuckboy jungkook

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immagrosscandy · 3 months ago

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i'm scrolling through my old art and i got the feelings 😭

i can't believe how far i've come in terms of artstyle and drawing and painting and making content- like I start reading my own stuff and i'm like "aw yeah it's all coming together" "i peaked here for sure this is so good"

and now here i am studying goddamn ANIMATION. I HAVE A STOPMOTION CLASS. GOD DIGGITY DAMN.

i think that posting stuff here really helped me with my confidence. and that people were giving me positive feedback, and really liked the things i did!? that's awesome i feel so proud of myself!

like it was the first time i'e interacted with a fandom ever in my life. like i entered tumblr at the age of what, 17? and i got to learn lots of amazing things, i got to interact with the lgbt community for the first time, too, and learned lots of cool stuff about others... and maybe about myself as well

(i'm still unsure, but i'm figuring myself out 😅)

most importantly, i got the chance to meet some amazing people on the journey! with some of them i still interact with, and some other don't, but i still had lots of fun and created some fun memories i still think to this day.

there were some bad moments, of course, i still remember that time i got told off about not drawing an afro and a hijab correctly, i've never drawn them before so, of course i don't. but hey, i'm glad it kind of happened since it made me persevere and learn some more

so yeah! i want to think positively about my first time in a fandom ever, i learned a lot, yet i think i haven't learned enough, so let's keep going! now i'm deep into ace attorney but i still like this stupid hp mobile game (i haven't finished year 7 and THERE'S MORE THERE’S A YEAR 8 WHY?! LET MC REST) so when i got some spare time i'll drop new content :D

(I haven't even talked about my MCs lore it's been 4 YEARS)

so now i'm gonna do homework bye! :D

#i apologize in advance if there's any misspelling mistakes #I KNOW THERE ARE I WRITE HORRIBLY #EVEN IN SPANISH I WRITE SO MANY MISTAKES #SO I GOT NO EXCUSES #😭😭😭😭

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moldwood · 27 days ago

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i've had a bluesky for probably a year or so but have never ever used it because i don't have the energy or time for more than one social media. until tumblr dies i'll be here 99% of the time, but art may start to be posted over there at least. all that is to say i logged in to make sure i still had the urls and saw this on the homepage feed whatever

I CANNOT IMAGINE THE WORLD TWITTER USERS HAVE BEEN LIVING IN WHERE THIS IS MINDBLOWING. COULD YOU IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO edit:im adding a read more for the people on mobile. don't click it. it's just to prove a point about the ridiculous number of characters you can have in a tumblr post

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right.

At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything?

We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.

Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available?

Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler.

Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector!

Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?

I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you… I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something?

Like what? I don't know. I mean… I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I'll see you around.

Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's… human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that?

They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.

A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah.

What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something?

Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung.

Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?!

You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?

A privilege. Mr. Benson… you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you.

No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that?

Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it.

Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren't your real parents!

Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking.

That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?

What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it's just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We're shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What's going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating?

They're home. They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can't. I don't understand why they're not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They're all wilting. Doesn't look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I'm gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That's our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there's no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn't it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I'll sting you, you step on me.

Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That's why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I've made it worse. Actually, it's completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. I don't want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It's real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let's see what this baby'll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. Stop! Security.

You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It's got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I'm in a real situation. - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don't freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney? Don't move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one's flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. Where's the pilot? He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who's that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It's got giant wings, huge engines. I can't fly a plane. - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That's Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.

I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They've done enough damage. But isn't he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven't we heard this a million times? "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense." - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We're going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That's why I want to get bees back to working together. That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don't have to yell. I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It's not a tone. I'm panicking! I can't do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn. How is the plane flying? I don't know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can't see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It's all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac?

Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower! That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we're not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We're bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You've earned this. Yeah! I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That's our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time. I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next? Would you like some honey with that?

It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I'm late. He's a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next? All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Oan we stop here? I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

#long post #don't uncollapse. i'm not kidding. it's a longer scroll than do you love the color of the sky.

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