#i'm so fucking sick of this thing right now
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MANIFESTATION, AND IT'S CORE
this isn't a FUCKING joke. all of this isn't some big lie just so people can mess with you.
it's not "too good to be true", it's not "one day I will", it's not "can I?", it's not it's not it's not. it's REAL, it's LITERAL, it's YOURS.
it's different names for the SAME FUCKING THING. IT'S ALL THE SAME. one's not harder than the other, one's not easier than the other. it's the EXACT same.
lucid dreaming is the same as shifting which is same as manifesting which is same as the void. it's all the same. THE ESSENCE OF IT IS ALL THE SAME.
and the FACT is that it's all yours. NO, you don't have the "power to do it" because YOU DON'T NEED THAT BULLSHIT. it's YOURS.
there's no "specific time", "special day", "the one moment", "the one word" that'll make you shift/everything else. there's no nothing. there's nothing that youll find that'll "make you" shift. there's no secret formula, secret recipe, "oh, maybe I'm doing this wrong", "wait, maybe if I do this", "maybe if I try that". there's just you, and everything that's already yours. SO OWN UP TO IT. SAY IT WITH YOUR DAMN CHEST THAT IT'S YOURS. say it so loud that even someone in the DEPTHS of HELL and in the HEIGHTS of HEAVEN can hear that IT'S YOURS!! say it with such a sense of entitlement that GOD HIMSELF hears you, sees you, and acknowledges you!
IT'S YOURS, IT'S YOURS, IT'S YOURS. say it until you feel sick of it. say it until your brain's fried. say it until you're out of it. say it UNTIL YOU CAN MEAN IT when you say IT'S YOURS.
one assumption, one assumption is all it takes. one sentence that you don't question. hell, question it even. doesn't matter. even so, one assumption is what it takes to be the you who has it all. the assumption that you ARE the you who has it all.
don't even believe. don't. don't even think twice. don't bother at all. don't do nothing. you don't NEED to do nothing. because you already are the you who has what you want.
what you desire was already yours before it was even put in your heart. it has been yours when it appeared. its completely yours when you work towards having it. it's yours to enjoy when you finally have it. so enjoy it throughout. enjoy it when you're persisting that you have it. enjoy it when an intrusive thought arises. enjoy it when you question it's validity. because it was yours the moment the big bang happened, and it was yours before it happened, and it was yours when nothing existed, and it's yours when the world ends. it's yours from start to end.
if it wasn't yours, it would've passed you by, and you wouldn't even have any idea. if it wasn't yours, you wouldn't be here right now. if it wasn't yours, you wouldn't be trying even if you're doubting it. if it wasn't yours, it wouldn't have found you in a hundred lifetimes.
you cannot make this shit up. it's a FACT. you don't find anything. whatever is yours, finds you. you cannot escape what's yours. that is your blessing. take it. own it. live it.
you're NEVER chasing. your desires chase you. they WANT to be yours.you CAN live without them. you definitely can. they can't. but since they're yours, they move with you, and so in your frame, it looks like you're chasing after them. that you have to have them. SO WIDEN YOUR FRAME. WIDEN THAT FUCKING PICTURE. ZOOM THE FUCK OUT. SEE, that they continue chasing after you, trying to catch up. so own them. stop running. give yourself a break. take a breather. what are you chasing after anyway? when everything is yours since the beginning of the world, and even before that. you're making your life awfully like Achilles's. stop going so fast that you pass your desires and then end up behind them. stop running in circles. stop, and relax. you've reached the end line. you ARE the end line. let your desires come to YOU. that's what you deserve, and that is EXACTLY what you have.
you will have exactly what you intend. intention matters, and actions follow. so intend big, assume the "impossible", and watch it appear before you. the mind is a powerful thing. it always works in your favor, but only if you keep it under your control. do not let it even DARE to think it can control you. don't YOU ever think it can control you. sit down with it. tell it your desires. tell it that you already HAVE your desires. and most importantly, tell it that it has to work for you NO MATTER WHAT. because that is what it's supposed to do. that's it's purpose.
no, you're not GOD. you're YOU. that's your power. GOD has too much to take care of. the wind; it's direction, the water; its flow, the rain; where it falls, the leaves; when they wither, your next breath that you'll take, every single person on this once fully green Earth. he's constantly taking care of everyone else. do you have the time to take care of every single individual alive and breathing right now? honestly, no. you're not gonna sit here saying "oh, yeah. let me pay the debts of someone on the other end of the world who probably doesn't even know me". I know I won't. is that selfish? I don't care. I deserve everything that I want as much as anyone else in this whole wide world. so no. NO NO NO. you're nothing, but YOU. you don't "make it happen", you don't have to. you assume, it happens. you intend, its here. that's YOU. you don't have to sit down and plan HOW what you want will happen, you sit down and assume it'll happen, and it will.
anyways, yeah. you get the point. you are you, do not try to be anything or anyone else. be you, do you, for you. and everything will be yours. it already is. you are the CORE, the CENTER, the start and the end.
#shifting reality#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#shifting blog#shifting realities#lucid dream#lucid dreaming#void state#void#shifting community#shifter#shifters#shifting motivation#loa tumblr#loablr#loassumption#manifesation#manifesting
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I AM GOING TO FUCKING VOMIT FOR REAL I FEEL SO VIOLATED
CW: fetish farming, gaslighting
i've been completely and utterly betrayed and dehumanized by someone i considered a friend and now i'm going to be sick...
so i had this "friend," we'll call them "D."
"D" never really struck me as hostile or predatory. however, they did commission me a lot to draw genderbent verisons of my own fursona.
and at the time i didn't say anything because he wasn't requesting anything pornographic, or like a "transformation" sequence or anything.
but i still felt... kinda weird? like... this felt like something vaguely fetishy, but i didn't want to assume. after all, i know what it's like to have a weird special interest that could be misinterpreted as a fetish/kink (non-erotic hypnosis).
but i obliged with their requests. i just assumed i'd been overthinking things.
today i got a message from a long-time friend of mine, who we'll call "A."
"A" told me that "D" had been acting really weird towards them and their partner (i'll call them "J")
"A" sent me this screenshot of a message "D" had sent to "J"
my response:
now i'm thoroughly pissed at this point and decided to confront "D" about this myself.
"D" started trying to gaslight me and claim that the screenshot was "faked." like... their condescending and defensive tone says it all.
naturally, i blocked him. i was so done.
i went back to "A" and told them about "D's" response.
God just...
i feel so dehumanized. like who the fuck can i even trust anymore?
i'm so sick...
needless to say i'm gonna be a lot more discerning when vetting commission requests from now on. if i get the feeling this might be fuelling a fetish for the requester, i reserve the right to decline... ESPECIALLY if it involves my sona or one of my OCs.
AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T FUCKING COMMISSION ART OF OTHER PEOPLES' OCS WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION, UNLESS YOU'RE A FRIEND OF THEIRS AND YOU'RE SPECIFICALLY REQUESTING A GIFT FOR THEM!!!!
UGHHHHHH
UPDATE: OH WOW COOL THEY'RE STILL TRYING TO HARRASS AND GASLIGHT ME ON TUMBLR!!!
LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Dad thoughts feat ATEEZ: First Word
⚠️ Warnings ⚠️
♪ This post is about how I think they would be as parents; just that, some thoughts. This does NOT represent any of Ateez's members in any way.
♪ English is not my first language so sorry if there's any mistake.
Vocabulary just in case someone doesn't know:
Y/S/N — your son's name
Y/D/N — your daughter's name
Jagi — sweetheart, darling, etc...
Note: Hi my shining stars! First of all, happy new year! How has been your beginning of the year? I hope you all are fine🩷✨. Mine has been so-so, I'm sick but I'm getting better now. So, taking advantage of being better today, I'm here to bring you a new scenario for our boys being dads cause I know how much you like those parenting headcanons. I hope not, but if there are any errors or something that is poorly structured, please let me know. I hope you like it and enjoy your reading. Love you all, my shining stars!!!
SEONGHWA
✰ Obviously his little star's first word was 'Daddy'. Seonghwa had spent all her short life repeating it every time he could for her to learn it before any other thing. The poor idol came back home after a hard day at work, wanting more than ever in his married life to lie on the couch with you on one side and your little star resting in his chest. What a beautiful surprise his baby gave him when she appeared crawling towards him to welcome him while mumbling what Seonghwa could perfectly understand as "Daddy". According to what you told him, your little girl had spent the whole afternoon calling him, which made Seonghwa die of love for your daughter but at the same time sad that he had missed her very first word. Good thing you had recorded it.
HONGJOONG
✰ His son's first word was so comical but so inappropriate for a kid of his age. It happened one night in which Hongjoong was in charge of bathing your kid. The so excited baby was splashing all over the place, laughing at how awesome those waves of foam were and making his father laugh too for how cute the scene was. Everything was fun and laughs from both father and son until some foam reached one of Hongjoong's eyes. The male was not aware of that swear word he let out unconsciously until he heard his baby say "Fuck". Good luck you didn't hear it because Hongjoong was more than sure that you would have been angry with him for that.
YUNHO
✰ The first word of Yunho's first son was 'Spiderman', followed almost immediately by 'Daddy'. It was one of Yunho's free days so he obviously decided to spend it entirely with his family. He played with your baby in your bed for an hour, you all went for a walk in the park, he did household chores while you spent time playing with your kid and his didactic toys... Yunho even ended up taking a nap with your baby. And now, while you were giving your kid his bath, Yunho was playing a bit with his PlayStation. A little moment for himself that ended up being shared with your son while you went to prepare dinner because Yunho liked to have his baby near even if he was playing. And then, it happened. The moment Yunho accommodated your son in his lap, the baby pointed at the TV saying "Spidman". That made Yunho look at him with wide eyes, calling you to come quickly as soon as your son said again "Daddy, Spidman".
✰ And, even though he spent months teaching his daughter how to say 'Daddy' because he wanted to be her first word, Yunho was more than excited with the fact that his daughter's first word was 'Brother'. It was one of the cutest things Yuhno had ever heard in his life. His baby called her brother right after she heard the front door. She hadn't even seen him but she already knew that her big brother was the one coming home. He even cried when his daughter hugged his son to welcome him with the widest smile and cutest giggle he had ever seen from her.
YEOSANG
✰ His daughter's first word was 'Chicken'. Surprising to both parents, who couldn't stop laughing for how cute sounded the word in your daughter's voice, but being strangely expected after hearing Yeosang repeat several times to your daughter, "We are eating fried chicken today. Mommy is making delicious fried chicken". It was a special date for Yeosang and you and you wanted to gift him with a meal you knew he would love: Korean fried chicken. What neither of you expected was that your special day would be even more special because it would be the day in which your daughter would say her very first word. It discouraged you both a little bit because you wanted his first word to be something like 'Daddy' or 'Mommy' but you're not complaining either, it was very funny.
SAN
✰ Every time he remembers, the idol can't hold back the tears. He has the moment tattooed in his memory to relive it exactly as it happened whenever he wants. But how not to do it if his first daughter's first words were 'Love you'? San was playing with his daughter to tickle her on your bed when you appeared and gave each one of them a quick kiss. Just after you said 'I love you' your baby repeated you, making both San and you look at each other and almost cry of happiness before kissing your daughter a thousand times more.
✰ With his second daughter was equal as cute as with his first one but so funny too. As every night since your daughter got her own big-girl room, San was with your eldest daughter, telling her a bed story and giving her all the kisses and hugs she asked for before finally tuck her tightly so that his little kitten would not get cold while you were rocking the baby to put her to sleep. Just when he was sure his daughter was sleeping, San turned the little purple bed-side light on and exited his daughter's room, going to his second child's room now to give her a goodnight kiss. What a funny surprise she gave him when as soon as he peeked through the door, the baby blurted out that sleepy 'Sannie'.
✰ And, as it could not be otherwise, his third son's first words were so cute too. Yes, in plural. His eldest daughter was playing peekaboo with her young brother while the second child was sleeping on the couch in your arms. Both San and you were looking at the cute scene with wide smiles when your son threw his head back to look at his father. San, who was smiling even wider, said "What happens, baby? What does big sister do?" Then your son laughed with his hand on his mouth but, even with his tiny fist playing with his lower lip, you two heard that clearly 'Big sister' from the baby.
MINGI
✰ The Song twins had the same first word. Indeed, they said it almost at the same time, first his daughter and then his son. Mingi will always remember that day. He had come back home later from the studio last night so when he arrived home your kids were already sleeping. He couldn't hug and kiss his babies as he wanted because he didn't want to wake them up, obviously, so, after a soft kiss in their tiny heads, the sad dad went to sleep. The beautiful moment happened the next morning, when he woke up and went to pick up his children to give them their breakfast. His daughter let out that tiny 'Daddy' that his son repeated seconds before, not giving Mingi even a second to process what was happening before they started to repeat it more and more times.
WOOYOUNG
✰ His first son's said 'Jagi' as first word. Always hearing his parents say it to each other, it was more than obvious that the baby would learn it sooner or later. The story is that Wooyoung was doing his best to entertain your kid while you were taking a bath. Your baby was at that stage in which every child developed that strong need to be with their mother or father and your son only wanted to be with you. Fortunately, your son didn't burst into tears like many other times, so you could take a quiet but short shower because you didn't want to push your luck farther. If you had known... The moment your son saw you he went from laughing with his father to crying because he wanted to be with mommy. You couldn't do anything else than to go to hold him in your arms obviously "Come with mommy" and as soon as you took your kid in your arms he called you 'Jagi', leaving both Wooyoung and you speechless.
✰ His second one's first word was 'Mommy'. You were preparing breakfast while Wooyoung was playing with your still sleepy children in your bed. It's not like he didn't want to help you, it was more like his little babies had him captive between the comfortable and warm sheets of your bed, giving him a lot of good morning kisses to which Wooyoung could do nothing but give them their corresponding kisses. But then your eldest son tried to get out of the bed on his own, that was the perfect signal to get up so, holding his second child in one arm and giving the first one his free hand, Wooyoung went to the kitchen with both kids. That was when your youngest son called you, making you turn to look at them with wide eyes and a big bright smile on your face.
JONGHO
✰ The first word of Jongho's little bear was 'Mommy'. He was alone at home with your child, a boy's day as Jongho told you. And by the moment their boy's day had been fairly uneventful. The child had eaten well, he took a nap without problems, they had been playing a lot... Until now. It was your son's bath time but the child did not want to take a bath. Or rather, he didn't want daddy to bathe him. According to your theories, it was because you played with him while bathing him and Jongho bathed and got him out quickly. In other words, you were calling him boring. Good thing he had already caught his son after running after him all over the living room. What a surprise Jongho got the moment he heard that little "Mommy" from his son as he was taking him to bathe "Your mother will not like having missed your first word, buddy".
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(𐙚⋆.˚) ghost of you
🕸🕷✮⋆ [taeyong x reader] ...୨♡୧... wc. 1.8k w. death, mention of drunk driving, grief, alcohol consumption, lmk if you find any more! angst ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
hey siri! play "ghost of you" by the 5 seconds of summer
january 27th, 2025 - 6:48pm
hey baby, i've been trying to reach you but i'm guessing you fell asleep... anyways, i have to go now, but i'll call you tomorrow, same time as always… i love you and i miss you more than i could even express. you’re my everything, remember that always… i’ll talk to you soon, okay? i'm dying to hear your voice… i love you so much, rest well my love.
january 28th, 2025 - 7:02am
yn? please answer me… your mom just called and i- this is some type of sick joke, isn't it? i refuse to believe it, i know you're just asleep, you’ll call me tomorrow, right? please, i just… i need to hear your voice again, i need to know you’re safe. i love you, baby, please be okay, please, please be okay.
january 29th, 2025 - 6:37pm
doyoung called me yesterday. uhm, when the phone rang i thought it was you for a second, i even saw your name on the screen… i guess not sleeping does that to a person. he told me he went to see your mom at your house and that he didn’t want to believe it either… we all love you so much, you know, and we miss you even though you’re barely gone... i’m going to my superipr’s office today, i need to go home to see you one last time… i love you, you’re forever my everything and i hope you know that.
january 30th, 2025 - 6:34pm
hey, baby. i got back home last night… everything is just the way you left it. i can still feel you here, i couldn’t even move to your side of the bed. there's a half drunk coffee cup on the table, it has your lipstick on it still… am i wrong for not wanting to wash it yet? i know it’s a little disgusting, but i can't get rid of it, not yet at least… anyways, i’m going to your brother’s house today to check up on him, your mom says he wont talk to anyone… i hope he’ll talk to me. i love you, baby, i miss you.
february 3rd, 2025 - 6:39pm
i dreamt of you last night, it was the first time i’ve gotten more than a single hour of sleep since you… since you left. you were there like you have been ever since i met you in that practice room so long ago. you remember that, right? when you dropped hyuck off and i spilled my soda on you? yeah, we were back there. you told me not to worry, that everything is fine. it felt different than it did before, though, because you were crying and holding my face like you do when you try to make things better… nothing is fine, yn. you’re gone, and a world without you simply cannot be anything but fucking awful.
february 3rd, 2025 - 6:45pm
oh, and i forgot. i went to see hyuck but i didn’t get him to talk… he was on your childhood bed, the one with the pink covers… he hasn’t gotten out of your room for anything but the bathroom, so your parents are very worried. i’m gonna try to make it better, okay? i’ll help him because i know it’s destroying you to watch this from up there… i love you, always.
february 5th, 2025 - 6:33pm
hey, my love. i just got off the phone with my superior… he said i can stay home and we’ll issue when i can resume my service. i begged him to let me go back, you know… i need to be okay, i need to be busy so i don't think about you every second of every day; but he said i need to grieve in peace, so now i'm stuck here again. i’m staying with doyoung because every time i step foot at our house i feel like i’m dying inside, although i told him it’s because it’s closer to your parents, just in case they need me. i know he knows the truth, but i have to be strong, you know? they all lost you too. i love you, ill talk to you soon.
february 7th, 2025 - 3:56am
why did you have to leave me, yn? why did you decide to walk when you knew hyuck could take you to work? why on earth did you do that? i’m so mad, not only at you, but at everything. i’m mad because you shouldn’t have walked, i’m mad because some fucking asshole decided to drunk drive at five in the fucking afternoon. i’m mad because i wasn’t there… i should’ve been there to push you out of the way and then maybe it would be you sitting here at home feeling like nothing makes any sense anymore. you should be here, with me, dancing around the kitchen like we always did when we got drunk. now i’m dancing with a fucking ghost… i love you so much, but i’m so fucking mad at the world for making you leave me.
february 7th, 2025 - 6:47pm
hey angel… uhm, i’m sorry for this morning, i was really drunk and everything kind of came crashing down on me… i’m cleaning up right now because i left a mess when i came back. i shattered the coffee cup and your lipstick is gone, which made me cry like a fucking baby… i also found my old zeppelin shirt, the one you stole the first night you ever slept over. i remember you sent me a picture of you wearing it the day of the accident, it’s even my wallpaper still… but yeah, i miss you, baby, and i’m not mad at you.
february 20th, 2025 - 6:32pm
hi baby, sorry i haven’t reached out in so long, i’ve been busy trying to get my shit together… i talked to your brother today, i finally got him out of the house and we went to the park. we ate those coconut ice creams you liked so much and sat by fred the statue, hyuck cried the entire time. we talked about you, all the happy memories and how fucking funny you were, always cheering us up in our worst moments… we also talked about the big fight we had when he found out we were dating. remember that? he tried to fist fight me when he was 14 even though i was so much bigger than him. i guess he was right then, though. we were too young and dumb to know things like love. but I know better now, and i have loved you ever since the very first second i saw your pretty face.
march 17th, 2025 - 6:57pm
hello, baby, long time no see… i just got out of your memorial… your parents asked me to talk because neither of them can bring themselves to, so i did and i don't think i’ve ever looked as pathetic in my life… i can’t stop crying, even now that it’s long over… everyone was here, you know, even sion and them. i think you would’ve hated it, you always despised seeing people cry… i’m taking hyuck to our house tonight. he said he needs to be surrounded by you, so he’ll stay with me until we’re both better. you should see him now, how disarmed he is… it scares me a lot, what if i don’t do as good of a job at cheering him up as you would’ve? i mean, i can’t even get myself to stop feeling like i’m being crushed, how the fuck am i supposed to help him?... i don’t know, but i promise i’ll figure it out. i love you, ynnie, forever always.
april 27th, 2025 - 6:35pm
hey ynnie, i’m back here again… it’s been four months since you left, and i’m beginning to think it won’t get better. i thought i was, really, that’s why i stopped calling. but i went out with the guys today, and yuta broke down because he saw your name in his contacts… we all miss you so fucking much, yn. it feels like a huge part of life is missing without you by my side and it’s drowning me. i feel like i’m holding onto you like an anchor in the middle of the ocean, but i don’t want to let go… i don’t know how to. i miss you every single day; when i walk through the market, when i clean, when i watch tv. you’re fucking everywhere, and i don’t know how to appreciate that yet, it just makes me feel worse than i already do. still, it’s not your fault… nothing ever was and now nothing ever will be. i love you, just as much as i always have.
may 16th, 2025 - 6:46pm
hey, my love. uhm, this will be the last message for a while, okay? i started going to the therapist, and he said it might be better for me to find another outlet than this one… i think he might be right, i don’t know what i’ll do the day this number gets reassigned… anyways, i wanted to let you know, even when i know you’re watching me from wherever you are. i love you, yn. i want you to know that even if you’re not here for me to tell you. i love you, i love you, i love you, i will never stop loving you.
january 27th, 2026 - 6:48pm
hey, ynnie… it’s been a while, huh? i know you’re probably scolding me from up there for calling this number again after so long, but i need you to understand me on this one. i don’t call with hopes that you’ll answer anymore, i gave up on that a long time ago… i found other ways to talk to you, and i’m sure you know that because i’ve seen the way your star flickers sometimes when i go talk to you every night. everything is better, as you know. haechan is back on his feet, he’s touring again with dream… he’s shining again, and i know it’s because you’re right by his side… your parents are better too, your dad is smiling again. everybody's learning how to live without you, even though we hate it so much… anyways, it’s very fitting that you sent that new dance coach today, she kind of reminds me of you. the boy’s said the same thing, too. still, she’s not you. and i know that’s not fair, no one could ever be you or even close… but still, it makes me miss you even more... dancing is starting to make me happy again, though my feet don't dance like they did with you... well, this turned into a pretty long message, i’m sorry for that, i’ll leave you to it and talk to you tonight, okay? i love you so much, rest well my love.
★ blue's corner ;; hey... im sorry ! i wanted to start the year with something special, and taeyong is the answer to everything in my life... i'm also forever in love with 5sos and this song in particular so i hope you enjoyed !! ★ taglist ;; @neozon3nha @winwintea @spacejip @dudekiss3r @yizhrt @lyvhie @morkiee @astrasng @taroddori ★ back to the masterlist. ★ please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!! ★ divider by @roseraris
© peterm4rker, 2025
#lee taeyong#taeyong#nct 127#taeyong x reader#lee taeyong x reader#nct 127 x reader#🕸🕷✮⋆˙ peterm4rkerswrld#🕸🕷✮⋆˙ taeyong#nct#nct dream#nct taeyong#nct u#nct wish#wayv
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Hey girl! I wanted to send in a Rafe request for the angst prompt #7: accidentally/drunkenly confessing feelings and yes it’s for the celebration! But it’s Rafe that confesses his feelings for the reader even though she’s a pogue but he’s always had a soft spot for her🤍
drunken confession.
pairing — rafe cameron x pogue!fem!reader
word count — 0.7k
synopsis — rafe gets drunk and starts spilling the beans on his love for you.
notes — hi babe! i love this sm he would be such a doofus honestly.
join my follower celebration — until feb. 3rd!
you watched rafe down shot after shot, part of you feeling a little concerned for his well being for the rest of the night, and the other part of you just wanting to focus on your friends and mind your business.
but rafe was your friend too, you reminded yourself. you’d grown a soft spot for the kook after a party one night, one very similar to this one, in fact. jj loved to tease you and say that the feelings you harbored were much more than platonic, and you constantly denied his statement. but you knew he was right.
you also knew, however, that rafe cameron would never be caught dead dating a pogue. so any and all thoughts and feelings that were more than platonic for rafe got locked away to protect your own well being. the last thing you needed was the boys getting on your ass for being in love with a kook, or for topper and kelce to antagonize you for being a nasty pogue that nobody, especially rafe, would ever love.
and yet here you were, stuffing him into the passenger seat of your car because he’d had far too many to drink.
“how you feelin’ buddy?” you hum softly, your voice sounding like music to rafe’s ears. “let me know if you wanna throw up, okay?”
he just groaned in response, your words nearly triggering his gag response. “drive slow,” he keeps his eyes closed tightly as he takes deep breaths.
“you got it,” you huff through a laugh, driving as safely and steadily as you could while you brought him back to your house. you knew ward would flip his shit if rafe got brought home by a pogue while drunk like that and you wanted to protect him from that shitshow as much as possible.
by the time you got him to your house, he sighed desperately as he crawled into your bed, trashcan ready by his side. “y/n?” he called out, eyes trying to steady themselves to look at you.
“what’s up?” you call back with a sweet smile on your face, having absolutely no problem taking care of him in this vulnerable state. honestly, you felt honored that he trusted and asked for you specifically.
“i love you,” his voice is shaky and you almost don’t hear him with how quietly he says it.
you’re sure he doesn’t mean it in the way you want him too, so you brush him off with a soft laugh and allow your hand to rub his back soothingly. “love you too, rafe.”
“no,” he groans as he rolls to face you better, “i love you. like i know i shouldn’t cause you’re a pogue or whatever the fuck, but i love you and i can't stop thinking about you when i'm not with you. i want us to be more than this.”
you blink at him in shock, your face clad in an expression he’s unable to read that nearly sends him face first into the trashcan. he’s almost positive he ruined everything.
“are you being serious right now, rafe?”
“yes, i’m sick of walking on eggshells, i just-“ he sighs deeply, “i can't even look at other girls anymore because none of them are you.”
“i love you too, rafe,” you could cry at the confession, eyes watering and hands trembling, “i have for a while now. i just didn’t think you would feel the same way.”
“you really couldn’t tell?” he raises a brow at you.
“i guess i was in denial,” you shrug with a breathy laugh. “what do we do now?”
“well, i guess now i ask you to be my girlfriend,” rafe smiles at you, his cheeks flushed and his eyes glossy from the alcohol.
“you sure you don’t wanna wait until you’re not drunk anymore?”
“i won’t regret it, i promise,” he holds a pinky out to you, gesturing for you to hook yours with his.
you do, and he brings it up to his lips, kissing it gently.
“y/n l/n, will you be my girlfriend?”
“rafe cameron, i absolutely will.”
he sits up slowly as to not upset his stomach, and kisses you gently, one hand cupping the side of your face as the other one steadies him. he pulls away just enough to whisper, “thank you for taking care of me.”
“i always will,” you peck his lips before checking the time. “you hungry ? some places are still open, i could run and grab you something.”
“god, you’re an angel, woman.”
-> back to masterlist
#follower celebration#rafe cameron#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron angst#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#rafe cameron fluff#fanfic#fanfiction
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Dissonance (Part 2) | JJK
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (f)
Part 1, Part 2
Genre/Tags: coworker!JK, enemies to lovers, smutttttt, slow burn (ish?), ANGST
Word Count: 6799 words
Synopsis:
After being left alone and humiliated on the floor of a dirty bar bathroom by Jungkook, you had to pick yourself up off the ground (literally). You had to get even, embarrass him like he'd done to you. Maybe you were mean to him before, but you were about to become a nightmare to humble this man. Unfortunately for you, your anger was short sighted, while Jungkook's wasn't. So you never predicted how your plans might backfire on you...
Note:
it's finally fucking here omg. ik it's super late but i'm finally decently satisfied with this. i'm looking forward to writing part 3 bc that's where the tension finally breaks and y'all aren't even ready for the revenge y/n gets lol. i hope y'all enjoy this and it lives up to part 1! i'd love to know your thoughts, if you're still pissed with jk lol, and any suggestions or requests are always welcome! chatting with you guys is my fav part <3
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Dread consumed your senses from the moment you woke up. The weekend had passed, but your chest still burned with rage at the thought of having to see Jungkook again. You hadn't even noticed the time go by over the last two days, too busy seething in your own anger. If you hated Jungkook before, you loathed him now. You forced composure as you got dressed for work. Jungkook already had the upper hand when he'd left you in the bar bathroom. He knew that you'd seen him with the girl afterwards too. You couldn't even think about whether he'd went home with her that night without being sick. After all that, the last thing you wanted was for him to think he had any kind of effect on you. You were going to go back to work with pride and confidence. At least you wanted to.
When you finally got to work, you made a beeline for your desk, pointedly not looking for Jungkook. As you settled in, one of your coworkers stopped by your desk.
"Oh hey Y/n, you feeling any better?" he asked. Your head whipped up, a gentle voice ripping you away from your resentful thoughts. You looked up at him in confusion, eyes settling on his red hair. "From Friday? You left early because you weren't feeling well?"
"Oh, right," you cleared your throat. Just then, you saw Jungkook's unmistakable figure from the corner of your eye. He was talking to someone but you could feel his eyes boring into you. Your blood began to boil but you forced yourself to stay calm. You refused to indulge him at all. "I'm feeling much better actually, thanks Jimin," you replied, shooting your coworker a sweet smile. Jimin was your acquaintance in the office; someone you could actually stand in that place. He was always kind and helpful which automatically made him better than 70% of the people there. Even though you hung out in the same circles, you never really became close friends. Probably because you were always more focused on how annoying Jungkook was whenever you were out. And you were doing it again. You made conversation to force any thoughts of him out of your mind.
"How does your hair seem more red every time I see you?" you asked with a light-hearted laugh.
"I can't be caught slacking. I put in a lot of work to keep this hair ya know," he smiled back at you.
"I still don't know how you got permission from the boss for that," you gestured to his hair. "I asked before and she shut me down so fast." Jimin laughed at the annoyed expression on your face, finding it endearing.
"I guess I'm just that charming," he shrugged, holding back a chuckle. You couldn't help but snicker. Jimin's jokes weren't that different from Jungkook's, but he wasn't obnoxious about it. Jungkook obviously believed his jokes and thought he was god's gift to the world, which made him insufferable. Jimin, on the other hand, didn't take his jokes too seriously and wasn't constantly flirting with anything that moved.
Jungkook, who was barely listening to the person talking to him, had heard your exchange with Jimin. He felt annoyance build in his chest. He knew that if he'd made the same joke, you would've been rolling your eyes and making fun of him. So why were you giggling when Jimin said it? He tried to distract himself by trying to focus on the conversation he was supposed to be having.
A quick chat with Jimin later, you turned back to your desk. You made the mistake of looking up and caught Jungkook's gaze. He looked at you, an indifferent look on his face. He wasn't sure what he was expecting; maybe you'd look away in embarrassment, maybe you'd glare at him angrily. But what he didn't expect was the cold, empty look you gave him - like you were looking right through him, like he wasn't even there. His brows furrowed for a quick second, even more annoyed now. You went right back to work.
That's how the next few days went by. Every time Jungkook was remotely in your vicinity, you'd look through him without ever acknowledging him. If he even tried to walk your way, you left the room immediately. At first, Jungkook thought you were just being childish. But when you regained your confidence after a few days, he knew that you weren't through with him just yet. If he thought your insults were bad before, the newfound loathing you had for him made things ten times worse. It started with you amplifying the spite in your voice when you insulted him for his work. You refused to speak with him directly either, so all the insults were being thrown indirectly and in front of your other coworkers. With every second this continued, Jungkook felt his patience running thin. But if you were stubborn, so was he. He kept up your little game by firing back with his usual sarcastic or flirty remarks. Internally, he was burning with fury, just like you wanted him to.
All the animosity and anger eventually came to its boiling point when you crossed the line for the last time. You had walked to your desk that morning to find that your boss had paired you and Jungkook on the next project. Your skin crawled at the idea of having to work with him over the next few weeks. Part of you wondered if Jungkook had something to do with this. Thinking about him getting your boss on board with making you his partner for this big project was only adding to the fire that was spreading through your body. You already hated the way your boss melted around him, but to think that he could manipulate her to this level? After spiraling for a few minutes, you forced yourself to take deep breaths. You had to remind yourself that you were jumping to conclusions and then convince yourself not to march over to Jungkook's desk and give him a piece of your mind. You tried to get back to work, but all you could think about were what reasonable excuses you could make to get out of this situation. The rest of your morning was spent racking your mind. With no luck, you decided to join your coworkers for lunch; hoping that it would give you a distraction.
Unluckily for you, Jungkook walked into the staff lunchroom soon after, only to find you and some of your other coworkers chatting around the coffee machine. Well, they were chatting and you were busy glaring him down from the second he stepped into the room. Your dark eyes peered at him over the rim of your mug as you sipped your coffee. You knew that there was no way in hell he was going to approach you to talk about this. The solution to your problem practically fell into your lap when you zoned back in to the conversation around you. If he really did get the boss to put you on the project with him, you'd make him regret that decision.
"I can't believe you got that huge project Y/n! You're so lucky," one of them said, playfully pouting.
"Talk about lucky," someone else chimed in, "You even get to work with Jungkook. But I guess that isn't so lucky for you." They laughed lightly, poking fun at you. Clearly they hadn't noticed that Jungkook was in the room, listening.
"Everyone here knows how much you hate him, even the boss. Really, what was she thinking pairing you guys up?" They continued to laugh at your misery. But you weren't annoyed. Instead, your mind lit up with the perfect way to get under Jungkook's skin in that moment. The second he saw the way your eyes lit up, he knew he was in for it. Jungkook prided himself on the fact that everyone liked him and thought highly of him. So what better way to get your revenge and get him to kick you off the project than to take that away from him?
"Yeah," you said skeptically, "She's never paired us up before." You continued to stare directly at Jungkook. Your coworkers looked at you with confusion and amusement.
"What changed this time?" Jimin's voice rang through the room as he walked in to join you. He'd already spotted Jungkook in the other corner of the room, and he saw the dark glint in your eyes. It was clear to him that you were up to something. So he helped you out by stirring the pot a little. Jungkook squinted his eyes at you, annoyed at seeing Jimin again and wondering where you were going with this.
"I think Jungkook really wanted this project," you answered. "And it's easy to get whatever you want when you're fucking the boss," you said, not breaking eye contact for a second. Gasps erupted across the circle as they all looked at you in disbelief. Jimin's brows raised and he scoffed, slightly taken aback that you were making that accusation. But you were more focused on Jungkook's reaction. The look on his face was beyond furious. His eyes darkened and you saw the tick in his jaw as he clenched it.
"Wait, you really think so?" one of them asked, everyone already engrossed in the gossip.
"He is a manwhore," you shrugged. Jimin stifled his laugh, not wanting to be too mean to Jungkook. You finally looked away from Jungkook and back at the group. "And he always gets the good projects. Boss doesn't favour anyone else like that." Your coworkers immediately started gossiping amongst themselves, making random connections because what you said made sense. Some of them already started getting riled up, thinking that their opportunities had been snatched by Jungkook through the boss. You obviously didn't know for sure whether Jungkook was sleeping with your boss or not. But you didn't have to. You just had to plant the idea and you knew your coworkers would jump to conclusions.
"You must be really pissed at him," Jimin whispered, leaning back against the counter. You felt Jungkook's eyes glaring daggers at you but you paid him no attention.
"I promise he had it coming," you whispered back, a devious smirk settling on your lips.
"Remind me to never get on your bad side," he chuckled. You just shot him a smirk. When you glanced back at Jungkook, you barely caught him walking out the door. You didn't know what you were expecting. Maybe you wanted him to lose his shit in front of everyone, or yank you out of the room with him. So the disappointment you felt only annoyed you more. By the time you finished your lunch and made your way back to your desk, you already began hearing whispers about Jungkook and your boss. For a moment, you wondered if this was crossing the line. Definitely. But so was getting you to blow him and ditching you in that bathroom. Now you're even. You couldn't help but smile, knowing that he must be seething about the rumours.
A couple hours later, you were being called to your boss' office to discuss the new project she'd assigned you and Jungkook. You reluctantly grabbed your things and made your way there. You couldn't keep in your scoff when you saw Jungkook already there, making your boss giggle about god knows what. Your boss cleared her throat as she noticed you in the doorway, peeling herself off her desk from how far she was leaning forward towards Jungkook. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. Way to be subtle.
"Y/n," she announced, "Come, sit down." You forced a smile as you sat down in the chair next to Jungkook. He didn't say anything to you, didn't even bother looking at you. Just being in his proximity was pissing you off, especially since he had nothing to say to you. Obviously he couldn't say anything in front of the boss, but you wanted to see that you'd made him just as angry as he'd made you. Maybe all this rage was clouding your mind and judgement...but who cares?
You pulled out your pen and began taking notes as she started talking about the project. Despite hating working with Jungkook, you weren't going to let that ruin your work on this project. You rolled your eyes when you saw that he wasn't taking notes at all. Of course. As your boss began wrapping up the conversation, you gathered your things again, getting up to leave.
"Listen you two," she started, her tone changing. You raised your brows and sat down, curious what she had to say. "I know you don't like working together, but this is an important project. So please, put your feelings aside and work on this together." You scoffed, forgetting to keep your composure. That's when Jungkook finally looked at you. His eyes were fiery but he looked vaguely amused that you had the courage to scoff at the boss. Your boss was also looking at you expectantly, waiting for an explanation. That was all you needed to decide that maybe you weren't even with him just yet.
"Sorry, but it's not about feelings. Our work ethics don't match. I'd rather work on this alone," you said, straightening your back as you felt like you were in the spotlight. Your boss didn't look too happy.
"This isn't a one person project Y/n," she pointed out.
"I know, but it would honestly be easier to do the work myself instead of having to chase him around, begging him to get anything done." The amusement quickly disappeared from Jungkook's face.
"Excuse me?" he finally spoke. You ignored him.
"Maybe we can switch him out for someone who's actually focused on their work instead of flirting," you boldly stated. Your boss scoffed in disbelief.
"What is your problem? Do you think I want to work with you?" Jungkook spat, just about done with your shit. He shifted in his chair to face you, one hand gripping the armrest hard enough to see the whites of his knuckles. Oh now he had something to say.
"You're lucky to be working on this with me. Or else this project would've gone to shit," you retorted with an equal amount of spite.
"There's a reason I'm on this project Y/n. Because I'm good at my job. So if you're letting your personal feelings affect your professionalism, you need to get a grip." His words stung but you refused to accept that there was some truth to them. He was giving you a taste of your own medicine; humiliating you in front of your boss like you were doing to him. All your self control and common sense went out the window when you felt that embarrassment.
"Yeah, that's why you're on this project," you said sarcastically, referring to the rumour you'd started a few short hours ago. You could practically see his nostrils flare as he willed himself to keep his mouth shut.
"You're out of line Y/n," your boss jumped in. She hadn't heard the rumours yet, but she could clearly see that Jungkook didn't like the implications of what you had said. "I don't care whether you two like each other or not. You will put aside...whatever this is...and work together on this, and that's final," she said firmly. Irritation coursed through you, seeing her take Jungkook's side yet again.
"Yes ma'am," you barely grit through your teeth. You'd be darned if you got fired over Jungkook. You quickly stood up and left, rushing to the file room for a moment to cool down. It was the only place you could get some silence - no one ever really stepped into the filing room because most of your work was stored digitally anyways. You pressed your back to one of the metal cabinets, sliding down to crouch as the door slowly shut. You took some deep breaths to calm down. If you went back out there now, you would rip someone's head off. How did Jungkook have the audacity to continue being a dick to you? You knew you'd without a doubt crossed the line back there, but despite that, you didn't feel even with him yet. After a few moments of dragging your mind away from these thoughts, you took one last deep breath and stood back up. You straightened your skirt and fixed your hair. Since you were already there, you decided to grab some files you needed for the project before going back out there. You turned around, pulling a drawer open and digging through the files before you found them. Just as you pulled them out, you heard the door open behind you. You already knew who it was, getting a waft of his cologne. Your heart already began beating faster, not knowing what to anticipate. There was a beat of silence as the door slowly shut.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jungkook grit through his teeth, trying to keep his voice down. You didn't bother turning around or replying to him. Any semblance of self control he had left snapped when you didn't even acknowledge him. With three quick strides, he was right behind you, pressing you face flat against the cabinets. He yanked one of your hands behind your back, making you drop your files. You yelped as his entire body caged you in, slight panic rising in your chest.
"You don't get to ignore me now," he snapped, voice low. "You haven't shut the fuck up for the last few days, don't start now." He yanked your arm down further so he could hold your wrist with one hand. You groaned at the ache, but decided against complaining about it. His anger was palpable; you could practically feel it seeping through your skin, igniting your own fury. In the shock of the moment, you'd almost forgotten that Jungkook wasn't the only one with reason to be upset. This was all a consequence of his insanely disrespectful behaviour, and he had the nerve to be mad at you now?
"What is it? What's got you so fucking riled up, hmm?" He sounded bewildered, gritting the words through his teeth. The more he pressed against you, the harder it got to ignore the heat building in you. An ugly satisfaction was creeping through you seeing the way you'd managed to get under his skin. This was what you wanted; to see that you'd affected him.
"Didn't get enough cock last time? That it?" he growled, bending down next to your ear. His words pierced right through you, as if he knew exactly which buttons to press.
"Fuck you," you spat before you could compose yourself. You strained in his hold, your arm coming up to elbow him in the ribs. To your dismay, Jungkook predicted your move and held you tighter, keeping you still.
"I thought it'd be enough to keep you satiated for at least a week. But you're just a cock hungry whore hm? " he taunted, his lips grazing your ear and sending an involuntary shiver down your spine. "I should've fucked your throat a little harder. Wouldn't be able to lie about me to everyone - including our boss - then, would you?" Despite the bitterness in his voice, your body reacted to his words. Your mind was scolding itself for the rush of arousal that coursed through you. How was he still affecting you like this?
You shook your head clear. No. He wasn't going to have his way this time.
"Lie? I haven't lied about anything," you replied with a snarky tone. Jungkook chuckled in disbelief. He quickly flipped you around so you were forced to face him. You didn't hesitate to meet his ravenous gaze with your own.
"No? So you really think I'm sleeping with the boss?" he asked, tone getting serious. You shrugged nonchalantly, annoying him more.
"You'll fuck anything that moves," you jabbed. "At least fucking the boss has some real benefits unlike the girl from the bar. Maybe she'd even give you a raise if you could satisfy her properly." Jungkook couldn't hide the disgust that flared across his features; insulted that you thought so little of him. The urge to shut you up was growing stronger by the second, burning through his insides. You were going to drive him insane.
"Watch yourself," he warned, the words coming out dark and gravelly. But the surge of excitement that you felt, knowing that you had managed to provoke him, was addicting. You wanted more.
"If it was anyone else, I'd be all for it. Get that bag, you know?" you said with indifference. "But you? I thought the boss had better taste. Her bar must be in hell." That was enough for Jungkook. Before you even had a second to process what was happening, one of his hands was wrapped around your neck. His fingers dug into the flesh, limiting your breath in the most delicious way.
"You didn't seem to think so when you were begging me to touch you - to fuck you in a dirty bar bathroom," he growled, stepping closer, face inches from yours.
"Yeah, obviously I expected too much," you sneered. "You don't know how to please anyone but yourself. Boss must be a real masochist to keep going back to you. Poor thing," you tutted, knowing you'd practically nailed the head in your own coffin before you'd even finished your thought. Jungkook's face contorted in a snarl as his grip tightened around your throat. You gasped, the dark swirl in your core intensifying.
"Maybe I should talk to her," you patronized, chasing the high from pissing him off. "I can recommend someone who can actually make her feel good - get her off. A man. Not a selfish boy," you emphasized. "Think she'll like me better than you after that?" With that, his other hand was pressed firmly against your mouth, effectively shutting you up. You grunted at the sheer pressure of his hold, now struggling to breathe.
"You just don't shut up, do you?" he spat. The look in his eyes was nearly feral; like he was going to eat you alive. His ego took a hit to your words, even though he knew you didn't actually believe everything you'd said. Still, you seemed to be stuck on his 'selfishness'. It infuriated him that you didn't understand why he wasn't giving you what you wanted, but he'd had enough of you running your mouth. If you'd forgotten how easily he made you melt under his touch, he'd just have to remind you. And make sure you never forgot again.
With each passing second of silent seething, you thought he might actually choke you out. But then he let go of you. You gasped for air, coughing as you caught your breath. Just as you were about to shoot him the dirtiest look you could muster, Jungkook sank to his knees. The snarky remark on your tongue vanished as you watched him kneel in front of you, looking up at you with a carnivorous gaze. Lust consumed your senses as he wordlessly loosened his tie, tugging at the collar of his shirt. You'd think that seeing him on his knees would make you feel more powerful in the situation. But the hunger in his eyes made it clear that he was still very much in control.
Simply put: Jungkook, in a suit and on his knees, was enough to wipe away your last bit of common sense.
"This is what you want, right?" he asked, his hands slipping under your skirt. You felt paralyzed, your breath caught in your throat. His hands moved up your thighs, slowly dragging your skirt up with them. "You wanna cum, yeah?" You were genuinely struggling to form any thoughts, your senses heightened.
"Want me to make you cum?" A strangled groan bubbled in your throat at his tone. He'd barely done a thing and your breathing was already heavy. So much for your resolve. As your skirt bunched above your hips, you suddenly became hyper aware of your situation. You were still at work, in a file room, door unlocked.
"Someone could walk in," you gasped, trying to convince yourself that you didn't want this. He ignored you, trailing his fingers down your hips and legs instead. "We've already been gone for a while. What if someone comes looking?" You desperately tried to focus your wandering mind.
"I guess I should hurry then," he sneered, shooting you a glare. Then his fingers were sliding between your legs, making you close your eyes and sigh as they eased the ache in your clit. By that point you were too far gone to even feel embarrassed about having soaked through your panties. Jungkook hissed as your slick coated his digits. "I put the bar in hell, but still, you get so wet for me," he snapped, adding more pressure. For the first time all day, you had nothing to quip back with. Your sweet silence was like music to his ears. Mindful of the time, Jungkook hooked his fingers in your underwear and pulled them down your legs. You knew there was no going back as you stepped out of them. Your knees felt weak as you watched him hastily shove them in his pocket. But before you could ask what he was planning on doing with them, he hooked a hand under your thigh, lifting your leg up and to the side. With your legs spread and your pussy staring him in the face, Jungkook was struggling to control himself. He wanted to tease you - make you beg and plead - but he didn't. Fuck. He couldn't; not when he felt like he'd lose his sanity if he didn't taste you right away.
Without wasting another second, his lips were pressed to you, the velvety heat of his mouth engulfing you as his tongue licked at your wetness. Your mouth was left agape as your hands buried into his hair, using the locks to keep yourself tethered. Jungkook groaned into your heat; he felt like he was getting drunk off of you. His fingers dug into your thighs as he hungrily lapped at your pussy. Your eyes rolled back and you let out a drawn out moan as his lips wrapped around your clit, creating the perfect amount of suction. You would've thought he was starved seeing the vigor with which he ate you out. He didn't stop, didn't pull away for a single breath - too consumed with the taste of you on his tongue. You were embarrassingly close already, struggling to contain your moans and whimpers. You bit your lip, trying to hold them in, but another particular harsh lick to your clit had you groaning Jungkook's name. Seeing you unravel so quickly only fueled Jungkook's appetite; the sound of his name on your lips going straight to his aching cock. All it took was him groaning into your cunt after that to send you over the edge. Your fingers yanked at his hair, desperately pulling him closer as you felt the white heat build up.
"Jungkook, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck," you cursed, voice whiny as you tried to keep quiet. "Gonna cum," you moaned right as you crashed over the edge. Jungkook felt you tense in his hold as you came on his tongue. He diligently lapped at your slit, sure to pay attention to your clit as well to help you ride out your orgasm. He slowed down as you came down from your high. Naturally, your legs tried to close together once his tongue became overstimulating. But Jungkook's hold was firm, keeping your legs apart. You tried to catch your breath, mind reeling from the mix of pleasure and pain flooding your senses.
"Jungkook... wait," is all you managed to get out. He ignored you again, picking up his pace despite your cringing.
"So fucking good," he growled against you, like he hated admitting it to himself. It felt weird hearing him compliment you after all the bickering and degrading earlier. Yet you couldn't deny that it boosted your ego seeing him so fucked out and angry. He pushed you further up against the cabinets, giving himself better access to you and delving his tongue into your dripping hole. And just like that, the sensitivity was replaced with a delicious pleasure once again.
"Please, wait..." you breathlessly pleaded. In contrast to the last orgasm, he was building this one up slowly. Unfortunately for you, that meant it felt twice as intense and you were getting increasingly worried about being caught.
"Thought you wanted to cum, sweetheart," he mocked. "That's why you're being such a bitch, right? Mad that I didn't make you cum last time?" he grit through his teeth. You cursed him under your breath, but were more focused on the feeling of his soft lips against. You finally looked down at him properly, ready to glare at him. But the second you saw his dark eyes staring up at you, the rest of his face buried between your legs, you lost your train of thought entirely. Then you saw his hand sprawled across your lower stomach while his thumb rubbed circles into your clit. Fuck, why was he so hot?
"What if we get caught?" you half-heartedly complained, trying to muffle your whimpers.
"They'll see what a fucking slut you are for me then," he grunted. You slapped a hand over your mouth when he picked up his pace, continuing to plunge his tongue in and out of you. "Keep your hands down," he demanded, pressing harder on your clit. "You're gonna keep moaning like that for me," he hissed, delving right back into the heat of your cunt. In that moment, all you heard was his demanding tone and your hands instinctively went back to his hair without a second thought. You whined, trying to keep your voice down as he slowly built up your pleasure.
"Good," he praised, his words muffled as he continued to eat you out. "I should make you scream, so that everyone knows that you, Y/n, are cumming on my tongue." His words were bitter but they turned you on more. You clearly had some problems. It didn't take very long after that to feel that white heat building up again. Jungkook could tell you were almost there, so he sped up the pace of his fingers and plunged his tongue deeper into you. "Including our boss," he rasped. And then you were cumming again; gripping tightly onto his hair and groaning his name once more.
"There you go," he coaxed, letting you ride his face. You hadn't realized, but at some point, your hips had started moving on their own. Seeing you with your eyes screwed shut and mouth hanging open, as you unraveled under his touch, only fueled Jungkook's hunger. When you started coming down, he finally pulled away; giving you a second of reprieve. That was until you looked down to see his blown out, dark eyes staring at you. His mouth and chin were covered in your juices and he looked ravenous. He quickly pulled off his suit jacket, wiping his face with the sleeve of his shirt, eyes never leaving yours. Your chest heaved; partly because you were still catching your breath, and partly because of how fucking hot Jungkook looked in the moment. His hands went right back to your thighs, pulling them apart once more.
"Wait, what're you doing?!" you asked, eyes going wide. "I can't cum again, please," you nearly cried. His fingers dug into your thighs as he watched you plead.
"You can and you will," he said firmly. "You know why?" He slid his fingers between your folds, gathering all the wetness that had pooled. "Because you fucking love my touch," he growled. Your already weak knees felt even weaker.
"You're so desperate for it; for my mouth, my fingers, my cock." Your legs threatened to buckle under you if it weren't for Jungkook's hand holding you up. "So desperate that you're being such a fucking brat," he spat. "Trying to piss me off. So, what? So that I'd finally touch you again?" he mocked. Your senses were overwhelmed and his words settled in a pit in your stomach. You felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes; whether it was because of his harsh words or the overstimulation of his fingers, you weren't sure. Just as you were about to retort, Jungkook slipped a slender finger into you which slid in smoothly with how wet you were. He let out a throaty groan, quickly slipping another finger into you and curling them upwards. You nearly doubled over as he pressed right into your g-spot.
"See how tuned your body is to me? I've barely done a thing and you're already a mess," he taunted. Seeing how flimsy your legs had gotten, he quickly threw the leg he was holding over his shoulder, getting even closer to you. His name left your lips in a whine, your body torn between pleasure and worry. "Well here, I'm giving you what you want." He punctuated his words by curling his fingers again, making you moan. "You wanna cum? I'll make you cum...over and over again, so you never forget how good I make you feel." And with that, he finally pulled his fingers out before slamming them back into you, setting a hard pace.
Your mind was left blank, so consumed with pleasure that you couldn't even think about staying quiet. Whimpers and moans shamelessly tumbled out of you as he filled you up so delightfully. Jungkook wasn't unaffected either. Feeling how warm and wet you were was driving him up the wall, numbing his own thoughts.
"So wet for me, fuck. My cock would slide right into you with how drenched you are," he thought out loud. He felt you tighten around his fingers, making him snarl and pick up his pace. "Filthy fucking cockslut. I can't wait to feel you tighten around me like that when I'm fucking all this brattiness out of you," he growled, voice low. You could only moan in response.
"Jungkook, s-slow down, please," you begged, knowing that you wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. Before you knew it, his free hand came down on your pussy, leaving a delicious sting spreading through you. A half yelp-half moan sound came out of you, making Jungkook scoff.
"You're gonna take what I give you, like a good little slut," he grunted. "What do you have to say now Y/n?" he asked, annoyance lacing his voice. "You're so convinced I'm fucking every woman and leaving them unsatisfied. Do you feel satisfied yet?" With his fingers pumping you, grazing your g-spot with every thrust, it was nearly impossible for you to form a coherent thought. When you didn't answer, he gave your pussy another smack, making you hiss.
"Answer me," he demanded, "How do you feel now Y/n?"
"F-feel good," is all you could come up with. Jungkook chuckled at your fucked out state.
"Who's making you feel good sweetheart?"
"You," you moaned, feeling yourself reach your climax again. "Oh my god. Jungkook, please...don't stop. Feels so good, I'm gonna-"
Jungkook's ego inflated as you finally found your words again, saying exactly what he wanted to hear. Hearing you beg for him almost made up for all the shit you'd put him through that day. Almost. You were creaming on his fingers before you could even finish your sentence, moaning his name way louder than you should.
"Now you're finally being a good girl," he praised, continuing to pump his fingers through your orgasm. "Fuck, you're getting so tight. Keep cumming on my fingers like that, yeah?" he groaned, imagining how good you would feel on his cock. Your orgasm was so powerful, you were cumming for what felt like an eternity. Jungkook didn't mind; continuing to work you through it. When it was finally over, your legs gave out. Jungkook quickly caught you as you collapsed, and he placed you down on his discarded jacket on the floor. You closed your eyes and waited for your heart rate to go back to normal. When you opened your eyes after a few moments, Jungkook was still kneeling in front of you. His gaze was trained on your still exposed cunt and he had slipped his soaked fingers into his mouth, tasting you all over again. You worried for second that he still wasn't done with you. He slowly dragged his glazed over eyes to meet your. You gulped at the voracious look on his face, your legs instinctively closing.
Meanwhile, Jungkook was battling with his own insatiable thoughts. He knew he couldn't forget about this, about you, about your pussy after this. As infuriating and insufferable you were, he couldn't deny how good you tasted and felt. And he sure as hell couldn't deny how hard you'd gotten him either. With his hormones surging through him, all he could think about was being inside you, in any way. He saw the look on your face and nearly scoffed. You fucked up his reputation and humiliated him all because you wanted to cum, and now you couldn't take it. He took a deep breath, forcing his thoughts away so he could be rational.
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna make you cum again," he said. You scoffed, easing up a little with his reassurance. "You got what you wanted, right? Now maybe you'll keep your mouth shut." The high of your pleasure was wearing off and the weight of his words were hitting you. Did he really just think you were desperate for him? Had he forgotten how he was shamelessly flirting with that other girl right after leaving you in that bathroom? Reality finally caught up with you, and you realized how vulnerable you'd made yourself to him. If someone came in right now, the only person who'd be humiliated was you. Clearly, all of this was just a game to him; a way to shut you up. Jungkook was toying with you and you were letting him. A similar shame and hurt creeped across your skin as the night he'd left you in the bar bathroom. Part of you had started to feel bad about what you'd done earlier, but if Jungkook really was just using you, then you were still nowhere near even.
Without saying a word, you stood up, pulling your skirt back down. In the process, you remembered that he'd taken your underwear. But you'd have to talk to him to ask for them back, and the last thing you wanted to do was talk to him. You'd just have to clean up later and make it through the day without them. You straightened your clothes, trying to make them look as less wrinkly as possible, avoiding Jungkook's piercing gaze. When you finally felt like you looked presentable, that's when you looked at him. This time it was him that was left a mess. His hair was ruined by all the grabbing and pulling you'd done, and his collar was soaked with your juices. You looked at his jacket that you were not standing on, and sure enough, you'd left a wet spot and now heel marks on it too. It made you feel a little better, knowing that this time he'd have to fix himself up instead of you. You picked up his jacket with the toe of your shoe before kicking it over to him. You shot him a cold look.
"You're an asshole," you stated before walking out the door. Jungkook was left on the floor, even more frustrated. He'd felt more gratified after putting you in your place, but then what was that? You'd obviously enjoyed yourself, so what was the problem now? He groaned loudly. Despite his anger, the bulge in his pants was now aching. Everything about you was infuriating to him, so how did you have this much of an affect on him? His mind wandered back to how you felt in his hands and on his tongue. He growled as he palmed his crotch, slowly taking out his hard cock. He stroked himself harshly with the frustration you'd left him with. He quickly pulled out your panties from his pocket, unable to stop himself. His head rolled back and your name spilled past his lips along with low groans as he brought up the thin fabric to his face.
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Tag List: @myjungkookthighs @bemuas @junecat18 @exortedgoods @jahnaviii @jk97bam @itsmekylabear @blueberriesm @marvelbun @vantelover1306 @runariya @btstrology @diame93 @curse-of-art @minyoongi7016
#jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook fic#jungkook x reader#jungkook smut#jungkook angst#jungkook enemies to lovers#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook fanfic#jeon jungkook smut#bts#bts jungkook#bts smut#bts fanfic#jjk smut#smut#female reader#jungkook x female reader#angst#jjk angst#enemies to lovers#filthy thoughts#writers#writers on tumblr
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tell your friends ♡
PAIRING : fratboy!haechan x reader (lil bit of mark x reader too)
SUMMARY : you tell your friends you hate him but you can't get enough.
WARNINGS : smut, jealousy (i guess?), arguing, roughish haechan, mention of a one night stand, swearing.
A/N : heres part 2 finally !! part 1 is here <3 hopefully you guys enjoy this - obviously its clear i don't know how to write a part 2 but i did my best! im really bad with putting warnings so pls let me know if i've left anything out! love you all !!
karina looked up from her phone and you were already at the bar, glaring down haechan with a fiery gaze. she gulped, looking beside her to winter and she shrugged - there was nothing they could do now, you weren't going to back down.
you looked at haechan and the girl who was leeching off of him, her drunken giggles and words ringing in your ears. you scoffed and ordered a drink, "fratboys.." you mumble under your breath. haechan had obviously heard you though as he turns around and smirked, "something wrong?"
"what do you think?" he just chuckled softly in return to your cold tone of voice, he found it quite entertaining how easy it was to get under your skin. he could tell you were growing feelings for him in the times you've both shared and he couldn't lie.. he was starting to feel something for you too but his ego would never let him admit that out loud (maybe).
you just got up from the bar. if he wanted to play this little game, so could you.
you set your eyes on a cute boy, you knew he was close with haechan, mark lee. time to shoot your shot. you walk over to him, hips swaying as you walked, smiling at him. "hey, mark right?" you ask softly as the said latter turned his head to you, leaning down so his lips were hovering just near your ear, "yeah. i'm mark, you baby?"
you blush and you lean into him as well, "y/n." mark raised a brow - he recognised your name because of haechan but he wasn't going to complain if he had a chance with you tonight.
⋆。‧˚ʚ🍓ɞ˚‧。⋆
haechan had noticed both you and mark, flirting with one another and the lingering touches that get a bit too touchy. you were currently sat on marks lap, leaning into him as his hand was on your thigh, rubbing your inner thigh. even your friends could see what you were doing - trying to get under haechan's skin like he was with yours.
before things could get any further between the both of you, haechan stormed over and grabbed your hand, pulling you away from mark. he lead you outside, you were trying to ask what he was doing but he didn't respond, he was too pissed to even think right now.
as soon as the cold air hit you this time though, you winced at how cold it became, it was a lot later in the night now. haechan let go of you and turned around, "so what was that with mark, huh?"
"what are you on about? as if you didn't have a girl leeching off of you half the night.. you have no right to act like this, lee donghyuck. i know your type and i kept reminding myself to not fall for a player like you yet i did. i went to mark because i was sick of it-" "oh so you just thought that you could do that type of shit with mark? when you were saying the last time we fucked that you were mine, do i need to remind you? trying to have a fucking one night stand with mark won't make you forget about me."
you scoffed, "you're so fucking full of yourself, what do you want from me at this point because you're pushing and pulling with me. i hate you. i will never find myself in your bed ever-fucking-again."
that was a lie. here you were now, in his bed as he tore his shirt over his head, throwing it to the floor and crawling between your legs. "say you want this, say you do and i'll remind you who you belong to but if you don't want this.. i'll get away from you."
you gulped, staring into his beautiful brown doe eyes as he looked down on you. you swore you wouldn't do this but he was too irresistible and he felt amazing.. your feelings for him also pushed you to the edge and you spoke up, "i do want this, please.. want you hyuck, fuck i need you so bad."
that was all he needed to hear before he was pulling your skirt up and moving your panties down your legs, throwing them somewhere on his floor. he unbuckled his jeans and pulled them down with his boxers, his dick slapping against his stomach. "you ready, baby? don't need to prep you do i?"
"no- no, you don't just.. please.." you begged. haechan bit his lip as he shoved himself inside of you, his dick stretching your walls so deliciously once again that he thought he was going to cum straight away. he had to inch himself slowly in you, bottoming out once he was fully inside and taking a breather, "you always swallow me in, your pussy always does this. it's like i haven't fucked you enough.."
a couple minutes later and he's pounding into you roughly, gripping your hair and shoving your head into his pillows. the sound of skin slapping and soft moans and groans to be heard echoing around his bedroom.
"didn't like seeing you with mark, the way he touched you made me crazy.. you're mine and only mine, understood? i can't get enough of you.." you moaned out in response, you couldn't speak, his dick making you dumb. he noticed this and chuckled, the feeling sending another wave of pleasure throughout you as you whimper, "hyuck.."
"hm? what's that baby? did you say something or have i fucked you dumb enough already?" he pulls your hair, pressing you up against his chest as he left small marks on your neck. "don't want you with anyone else.. swore i wouldn't like you but i ended up liking you anyway, didn't i?" he panted out, and you just let out a small whine, "hyuck.. please, can't last any longer.."
"wait until i'm gonna cum baby - won't be much longer, promise.. you feel so good, feel you clenching around me. listen to me and be a good girl, yeah? like you and this pretty pussy so much." he noticed your eyes closing and he tapped your cheek with his free hand, "come on baby, pay attention." he smirked. he moved it down to your clit, rubbing harsh circles.
you couldn't hold back, you shuddered as you felt your climax releasing on his dick, he groaned and let out a small whine, his dick twitching inside of you as he released. he muttered out that he couldn't help but like you, you're perfect for him. he rode you through your high before pulling out and staring at your fucked out state.
"fuck.." he whispered as he grabbed a towel from his dresser, cleaning you up and laying you comfortably on his bed. he always took such good care of you after he was rough, giving you princess treatment.
"hyuck?" you ask softly as he looked at you, "mm-hmm?"
"do you really like me? i'm not just someone you're messing with?" "we'll talk about this tomorrow when you're tired, okay?" he responded and you just replied with a nod. he shuffled into his bed beside you, pulling you closer by your waist and pressing your body against his, "promise i'll tell you how i really feel, 'kay?"
#haechan ₊˚⊹♡₊#nct dream x reader#haechan x reader#haechan smut#haechan x reader smut#donghyuck x reader#donghyuck x reader smut#lee donghyuck smut#lee haechan smut#donghyuck smut#lee donghyuck x reader#nct dream smut#nct dream x reader smut
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The hints were always there
I'm still playing through the Veilguard, but when it comes to the lore and possible retcons I feel like I have a vastly different stance than other people. I saw people being displeased and saying that DAV did ignore the canon or devs forgot about the established canon (which may have happened with so many revisions to this game, not gonna lie), but to me it's a case by case basis and so far I have no complaints (but admittedly I didn't finish the game yet, so it may still change).
For example: the entire thing with changed properties of the Blight is a sign that rules of the Blight within the world also changed. The game goes about it roughtly like this "long time ago Blight was even more nasty and bad than it's now, then Solas sealed it in the Fade that got separated from the mortal world, so when the Magisters entered the Black City and released some of it, it entered a vastly different world where there were no Fade and no Elven Gods". Which to me implies that the state of the world post-Veil and the fact that the Elven Gods were no longer in it affected the Blight. The world in which the Blight was born was long gone so it adapted accordingly. It became more passive despite still being operational, and got linked to the presence of the Archdemons (i.e. Blight exists, but doesn't happen on the larger scale unless there is a blighted Old God leading the charge (except of course underground where dwarves are battling it constantly). It found new ways to create the Darkspawn etc. because it was forced to do so to continue operating despite being cut from the source of its power.
Therefore it's not weird to me that all of the possible cures to the taint / Blight / the Calling talked about in the previous games / media aren't applicable in Veilguard anymore. Ofc they aren't. Blight is no longer a sickness in state of semi-active dormancy. It's no longer passive as it used to be. It's at full "fuck remission, imma strike again" stage doing whatever the hell it wants. You can't cure it with the old methods you knew anymore. You have to first improve the cures you found before in order to have a shot or beat the stronger virus now at all. So expecting all this old lore to be somehow relevant still seems excessive. Albeit I wouldn't say no to the game actually openly saying "we tried all those methods and each failed, this new Blight can't be cured by them".
TBF it seems that the hint that Elven Gods were always connected to the Blight was right there since the very beginning in DA: Origins already, otherwise the Old Gods wouldn't be so important for the Blights to happen. We just simply didn't know that the Old Gods and Evanuris were connected, even though for years we theorised they were connected in some way, if not one and the same. To my knowledge nobody ever proposed an idea that the Old Gods were basically glorified pets / war hounds for the tyranical elven gods. We were right tho that they were one and the same, as the dragons were their connection - speakers for the imprisoned Elven Gods.
In Veilguard it's very much implied during Solas' memories that all of the new Darkspawn we meet in DAV are in fact not new but just old. They simply had no way of existing without Fade World and the Elven Gods in the world, but now with the Veil weakening and two of the Elven Gods released upon this world via a powerful magical ritual that possibly weakened the Veil even more, Blight could finally become active in a way it wasn't for thousands of years. The same logic was also applied to elven artifacts that Veil Jumpers are dealing with in Arlathan forest. The ritual that Solas did and the releasing of the Elven Gods, it all affected the world in ways nobody knew it could before. Nobody knew how important or connected to the world Gods were or how powerful they truly were. As primordial spirits turned first people of the elven kind, they have far more intrinsic connection to and understanding of the world than any other race, except the dwarves so far (as dwarves turned out to truly be the children of the Titans that were actually the first inhabitants of Thedas as far as we know now). We don't know yet how humans and the Qunari factor in this (albeit I have some theories about the Qunari - in short they could have been created as soldiers / slaves that were supposed to be immune to the Blight thanks to the dragon blood they inherited, but it turned out they weren't and hence why they're referred to as a "mistake" or "beast of strange blood" with a "blood engorged with decay" (Corypheus) or having a "blood that doesn't belong to their people" (Kieran)) but it's undeniably true that elves and dwarves are connected to the world of Thedas in ways breaching human understanding. So it's not weird that world went wack when just two of the Elven Gods came back on top on Veil weakening and Titans already waking up in Inquisition.
I know what you will all say. "But what about Solas or Mythal?" Mythal doesn't count, because she never managed to get back her true form and kept existing in a state that is very similar to Anders' case of spirit + human merging. Solas doesn't count as he was asleep for thousands of years and when he woke up he was not even able to use any of the artifacts due to losing his powers (hence why he needed to consume Mythal's essence / soul). On top on that he also wasn't Blighted. He only counts as far as his ritual goes because it did wack to the world. (It fortunately didn't release more Blight, but did use shitton of magic that must have impacted the world where Veil was weakening all over already).
Not to mention how many things suddenly make sense.
Mirror in Mahariel's Origins being Blighted and Tamlen seeing a "great blackness" in it confirms that Ghilan'nain was connected to the Blight, as it was her mirror that Tamlen and Mahariel find - in DA2 it specifically has a symbol of a Halla on it to highlight it.
Dwarves not having dreams and being the only race that can't perform magic but also being able to perform it when they're born as Genlock Emissaries, mages in general getting magic power from the World of Dreams but when they're made tranquil loosing that ability and their dreams with it as well as the elves becoming magicless in the world where dreams and reality no longer coexist is all an expression and a result of Blight being created by the actions of the elves in the Elven-Dwarven war and by the creation of the Veil afterwards. (Like seriously it never struck me so much as it did when I played DAV - before I was like "oh yeah magic comes from the Fade" completely forgeting it's the dream realm that souls visit in dreams and go to after death).
The fact that the Blight song is always driving the Darkspawn to seek the closest Old God in order to blight it and take charge of the army of Darkspawn that otherwise is aimless without anyone to lead it. Blight probably designated them due to their link to the Elven Gods and used them as proxy in place of the missing gods because it was already accustomed to being used by Evanuris in their wars, hence why Darkspawn need Archdemon for the Blight to happen - they can't invade the surface without a commander.
There is probably more of those stuff.
The more I keep thinking about it the more I feel like this:
It was all just THERE. All. This. Time. In plain fucking sight. But we didn't get it, because we lacked the necessary contexts to get it all!
We thought that the Blight was only connected to the Titans, but we also knew before that the Elven Gods were possibly blighted thanks to what happened to Corypheus and other Magisters Sidereal. We just didn't connect the dots that Blight may albo have been used by the Elven Gods in similar way Corypheus used it. Hell, it's so ironic that in some theories we considered a Blight an immune system reaction of the body to the invading viruses and now it turned out that the Elven Gods - the ones that were considered the first invaders by the Titans, became their tool to spread the Blight (even tho they think they lead it as all powerful rulers it's very much possible they're just useful idiots). It doesn't matter that the Evanuris were the ones who actually created the Blight while seeking more power (via Titans' souls), what matters is that it was all connected and Blight was punishment meant for THEM.
The fact is they destroyed their own Empire with this blighted power, no matter how much they gloat about how powerful they've become.
No matter what they say, Titans' dreams have already won.
#seriously it never crossed my mind that Evanuris would have pet dragons Cerberus style#dragon age#dragon age meta#dragon age lore#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age veilguard spoilers#dav#dav spoilers#datv#datv spoilers#da4#da4 spoilers#dragon age 2#da2#dragon age inquisition#dai
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Love That Bites Pt. 15
It's here!!! Finally, I am able to finish it! This chapter is a lil messy, I'll admit, and ended up twice as long as intended, but I'm hoping it'll be a good set up for the next chapter, which will feature a lot more Dracula :3 I am posting this a bit sleep deprived, so I apologize if it has several mistakes ;w;
Thank you for waiting, and I hope you enjoy!
Summary: Turns out going home had consequences worse than you had anticipated. With time ticking by, and tensions beginning to boil with your step family, you decide to make several impulsive decisions in hopes of working on your deal with Dracula, or at least having something to show for it. Of course, nothing can go right, especially with Death tailing you, now can it?
CW: Physical and verbal abuse mentioned (You are mostly fine, no worries), extreme anxiety and second thoughts, slight face injury (just a bruise), impulsive shopping, mental rambling and overthinking, Death makes an appearance
Word Count: 6575 words!
Tag List: @just-some-water-lillies @blackmeetsworld @khaleesihavilliard @sisterofsin29 @str4wban3l @nikkilovemark @ms-bakugo-blog @kittenlover614 @simpytheshrimpy69 @midgetdemon17 @just-nother-dreamer @adrakeshoard @tilldeathripsusapart @thedeadlynights @pumpkinvampie @bethleeham @mshope16 @sixsixtwenty @haleypearce @rvautomatic @tinystarfishgalaxy @marshmelloe @maorizon @ursamajor17 @sapphicsfordracula @dame-sunflowers @sleepyendymion @starrlo0ver @onewiththebeanbag
If you want to be added, or if I missed someone, please let me know! Likes, reblogs, tags and comments are appreciate 💕
First: Here
Last: Here
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Looking in the mirror shouldn’t have been as harrowing as it felt at the moment.
If you were being honest with yourself, you could care less about appearances. You liked looking nice and all, but you didn’t always have the luxury of looking nice on a hunt when it involved… monster remains ending up splattered all over you.
That… and as you were growing older, you looked a lot more like your mother.
Not just in looks, but…
You hated how your eyes looked so sunken in. How there was an unnatural paleness to you. Like you were ill.
It certainly made you feel sick. You hated being reminded how your mother looked that last year before she passed.
Of course, it didn’t help that you had a massive bruise on your left cheek. Or how you haven’t had a good night’s sleep in… what, weeks? More so than normal anyway.
That, and you genuinely haven’t felt well since you came back home around 3 weeks ago.
“Ugh….” You groaned out, leaning closer to the mirror as your head throbbed.
At least you weren’t beaten bloody and bruised like you had been before… everything.
It had nearly been a month since you returned. As much as you would have liked to believe things would have gotten better after coming back home, that was nothing more than a pipe dream.
“Just who do you think you are, huh? Who the hell lets you stay here? Do you think it’s funny to pull that kinda shit? Huh?”
Jason hadn’t been happy at your return. Though you had a feeling he was more mad about you staying away and still being alive.
“Fucking look at me when I’m talking to you, you dense fuck. I let you stay here out of the goodness of my heart, and you not only attack us, but pull a disappearing act?”
Eyes narrowing at yourself in the mirror, your reflection scowled with you as you remembered parts of Jason’s explosive reaction to you coming home that day.
Your step brothers and step father had been doing something involving recon for a mission of some sort. So they said, anyway. Not that they gave you much of an explanation anytime they left anywhere, unless it was somewhere fun.
Then they were more than happy to brag about going somewhere, and you weren’t invited.
Regardless, you didn’t hear much about where they were, but you got to hear all about how bad of a person you were for leaving like that. For having the gall to defend yourself.
The reflection of you in the mirror scowled even further, before wincing when you felt a twinge of pain from the bruise on your face.
Annoyance flickered on your features.
After you came home and were discovered by your family, the ‘scolding’ had certainly been one of the worst, but you would argue that wasn’t the worst part of coming back.
”I’ll have you know I could kick you out at any time. You are nothing but a freak. A parasite. At least your mother was worth something compared to you. All you do is sit around and do nothing, wasting our time and resources!”
Jason and your brothers had never been physically violent before. At least, not outside ‘training’, anyway.
Sure, there was the occasional shove, and a shoulder check here and there. Maybe a loose foot finding its way in front of your own…
Jason was practically in your face as he yelled, your back pressed against the wall as he practically cornered you.
“All you do is sit on your ass and run off to god knows where after throwing a fit. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t toss your shit into the streets right now!?”
Just as you opened your mouth to speak, he interrupted you.
“Shut up!”
Your eyes widened as a fist came at you-
…Only for your body to tense with one of your hands in front of your face as his fist landed a few inches from your head, now in a huge hole in the wall next to where you stood. No doubt you would be fixing that later.
Jason’s face was right next to yours, his eyes dark with a hatred that had your body tense, and your hair stand on end.
“Get out of my sight.”
Ever since that first night back, Jason had gotten scarily close to genuinely hurting you. He, and his oldest son, Mark, had grown increasingly aggressive.
It frightened you. Never had they seemed so irritated.
That was saying a lot, if you were being honest with yourself.
Sure, you feared what they could do to you, to your home. It was a small fear, one you kept a tight lock on. You hadn’t really felt scared of them. Not before they tried to lethally injure you.
Now you felt like a cornered animal half the time, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. It felt like it was only a matter of time before things escalated. If something happened to you… You didn’t like to think what would happen afterwards.
The look in their eyes… You couldn’t help but compare it to a monster who was out for blood. A pure hate that made you feel ill just looking at them.
And with their aggression growing… it was looking more and more likely you faced something terrible happening with each passing day.
Not even a week had passed after Jason’s episode before you were shoved down the stairs. You thankfully had caught yourself, but instead of an empty hall at the top of the stairs like you expected, Mark stood watching.
His eyes were just as cold as his father’s. That same, piercing hate deep in his eyes.
“No one wants you here.” Was all he said, before he turned around and left, leaving you awkwardly hanging onto one of the rails.
Since then, Jason and Mark had made a point to let their displeasure known. You were either tossed around, or forced to do extra dirty work around the house. Jason made a point to tell you that he expected ‘more’ from you from now on.
Ignoring the fact you already did most of the house work anyway. Fucker.
Now they both made messes on purpose. Well, more ‘on purpose’ than before.
Kitchen? A wreck almost every night.
Living room? You were now picking up their disgusting clothes and messes.
Entry way? You were cleaning mud that was tracked in every other day. It wasn’t even muddy out front, so you knew they were doing this on purpose elsewhere to piss you off.
At least Seth kept his distance. He wasn’t pleasant, but he at least seemed to dislike outright trying to hurt you more than a shoulder check. If anything, he just told you to clean something or go shopping at inconvenient times.
Maybe toss something on the floor for you to clean up, but even he seemed to find that more bothersome than it was worth.
It still wasn’t great, but it only added to your ever growing stress.
“Things could be worse… I guess.” You mumbled, exhaustion clear on your features as your frown fell back to your neutral look.
You could have Dracula trying to kill you, along with everything else. No doubt that would have possibly either broke you, or had made everything worse. Your face scrunched up at the thought.
Though you winced once again, the bruise near your eye throbbing at the movement.
Jason and the others may not have outright been hitting you with their fists since you got back, but…
Letting out a gasp of surprise at the sudden sharp pain, you felt your body slam into the wall next to you as your body swung back in surprise.
“Oh sorry, did that hurt?” Mark mocked, throwing the bag he had ‘accidentally’ hit you with over his shoulder.
Motherfucker had waited around a corner just to swing a bag of junk at your head. You were lucky it didn’t directly hit your eyes, but…
You could feel your anger bubbling in your chest, and you sighed. At least you still had your sight, even if you worried the cheekbone had been damaged.
Whatever.
Turning the faucet on, you splashed some water on your face, waking you up a little bit as you trekked back to your room
Truth be told, it wasn’t just your step family causing you issues.
You had been spending what free time and energy you had on working on your deal with Dracula.
Something that still was weird to think about.
Entering your room and closing the door behind you with a soft ‘click’, you went over to your desk and sat down. Reaching down to the floor, you pulled out a specific notebook you had hidden under a bunch of random clothes and junk, and opened it.
Inside the notebook was what would be a bunch of gibberish, but was simply a cypher.
You didn’t dare write anything about Dracula somewhere where your step family could find it and read it. A phone was hackable, and just leaving a notebook around without precautions was begging for fate to mess with you and make things worse.
Flipping through the pages, you found your simple ‘To-Do List’.
It was messy, but when you came back home a near wreck, it was as good a place as any to start.
There were several different things written down, such as buying him a modern cell phone. Or building him a computer. Or even showing him some modern libraries.
You hoped he would at least be impressed by the internet, and the many archives it included. Though you were a bit nervous about the internet as well, not really wanting him to see how depraved humanity could be, where it was right out in the open.
Then again… the internet had a front row view on the good things humanity has done too. That, and it’s not like Dracula was unaware of how awful people could be, human or otherwise.
Perhaps you would only show him the internet archive or something. And how to pirate movies and books.
Movies and television were a whole different ball game as well on what to show him. You wondered if he’d like The Addams Family, or The Godfather. Or Psych, or Columbo or something.
Shaking your head, you wrote down a few suggestions to show him later. After you managed to figure out if you could even get internet working at his castle, of course.
You’d have to make a few calls to some people who knew how to keep their mouths shut, no doubt.
Even then, he may not even want it. That was something you had to consider.
“Though, perhaps…” you mumbled out loud as a thought entered your mind.
Perhaps you could just show him all that stuff at your cabin? Test the waters?
A part of you nearly snarled at the idea of anyone finding your humble sanctuary, let alone being allowed in it that wasn’t your late mother.
But you had way more at stake here. You had a deal to hold your end up on. Surely, your little abode was worth the entirety of humanity?
…You would consider it.
Then there was the fact you would probably have to get a phone or internet plan for Dracula.
Good god you had a lot on your plate.
That isn’t even mentioning the calls you had been attempting to make for blood banks for supernatural entities. With how busy they tended to be though, you ended up on hold nearly every attempt you made. No doubt you would have to send some emails and make an in person visit.
Great.
Staring at the list for another few moments, you sighed, putting the book down and putting your head in your hands.
“Fuck, how am I going to do this?”
The hope of the world was quite literally on your shoulders, all depending on your actions going forward. Yet, you had little to nothing to go forward with.
Not like you could just order a phone or computer parts. Even if it was illegal, your mail and packages ended up getting opened more often than not before you had a chance to even see them.
Jason would always smugly remark it was for ‘the family’s safety’, in case someone was trying to ‘get rid of the family.’
That was a load of shit, of course.
You knew it, Jason knew it, Mark and Seth knew it.
But there was nothing you could do. Even if you had a legal case of them fucking with your mail, if you made a fuss, you simply would get kicked out and lose your family home.
At least they stopped messing with your packages half of the time when you bought adult toys to embarrass them out of spite.
That was the first time they ever left you alone for a month. Definitely some of the most peaceful weeks of your life.
Anyway-
Rubbing your face, you gave your cheeks a small slap to wake yourself up, and sat back up in your chair.
Picking the book back up, you looked over it all once again, before adjusting some of your notes.
You would have to go buy a lot of this stuff in person yourself, and hide it in your car. Buying a new phone and computer parts would only make your step family incredibly suspicious.
Or annoying.
In fact, if you did manage to spin a perfect lie to get them off your back, you wouldn’t be surprised if your parts either went ‘missing’, or ended up ‘accidentally’ damaged.
Or someone in the family suspiciously gets a new PC while the parts you bought are missing.
Even though you had money in your own bank account, it wasn’t like you were rich. You had expected a lot of your family’s money to go to you before… well…
Not that it mattered.
You still had a means of making money from odd jobs and the hunts you were allowed to do before your step family called dibs, or when they didn’t want to do the icky jobs.
It just… wasn’t as much as you would like. But hey, you didn’t have the luxury of lamenting your expenses now. Lives were potentially at stake if you didn’t do this.
“So much for buying some new clothes… guess I’ll have to patch up some of my torn ones with some older clothe if I can…”
Oh well.
Another thing that was an issue was time.
You had more or less been on lockdown since coming back. Sure, you had a job or two for some minor stuff, but then you were stuck right back here.
With Jason and Mark, and Seth to a degree, being a lot more aggressive… You’ve hardly had a chance to even leave the house for something as small as grocery shopping without Jason getting on your ass about it.
He must have been serious when he got angry at you for disappearing. You still didn’t understand why, given how they talk about wanting you gone so much. Maybe they just hated the fact you would eventually come back.
Bah.
Scratching your head, you let out another sigh.
You were running out of time.
Dracula may have been patient so far, at least you hoped. However, that didn’t mean he would wait forever, especially when you mentioned a month as the time it may take to return.
Around a week remained, and the clock was ticking. Time was not on your side.
Neither was anything else, but if anything, you knew how to adapt under pressure.
“Okay… Everyone is out today. I can at least get a phone. Maybe even a few parts for a computer…”
There were a few places in town for parts. You had at least done research on places where you could buy these things earlier this month in a manic episode.
After that, you had to figure out a time to leave again for a few days. No doubt you’d get shit for it, but hey, at least you weren’t actively bleeding this time.
“I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.” You mumbled to yourself, running a hand over your eyes with a groan. Even if you felt like you were a bag full of anxiety, you could at least try to hype yourself up.
With a deep breath, you closed the journal, and hid it once more.
Steeling your resolve, you stood up and grabbed your car keys, before heading out your bedroom door.
Leaving your home wasn’t hard, but it still sent some anxiety spiking through your heart as you locked the door behind you. Nor was driving down to town any less harrowing.
However, driving up to the giant building of a tech store at least put you at ease. As much as you hated crowds, it was somewhat relieving here.
If you by some rare chance saw your family or someone you knew, you’d at least have a crowd. You were less likely to be treated poorly in front of people who your family tried so dearly to put a mask on for.
Of course, you still were on edge. It was hard not to be in general outside of your cabin or family home. Your whip felt heavy under your jacket as you parked and walked through the building, both a reassurance, and a weight that had your hands twitching.
Crowds may be good in some ways, but for monsters, both man and supernatural, it was an opportunity.
You just hope no one would seek such an opportunity today.
Pushing through the turbulent emotions stirring inside you, you quickly made your way to the center of the store.
It wasn’t hard to buy a phone, though you did have a few things to consider.
Size, model, and brand.
The decision wasn’t difficult in the long run, but the image of Dracula with glasses and a teeny phone in his massive hands made a smile form on your face.
With the new phone in a bag to take home for later, you continued shopping. At least getting a phone was the easy part. You could buy a temporary cheap plan and number for it in store at checkout.
Somehow Dracula’s castle had cell service, if you remembered correctly. If the phone plan didn’t work out, you could at least show him some things, right?
It was enough to tide you over until you could make some calls about giving Dracula of all people an actual decent phone plan without all the strings of an identity in modern society. That was something that actually wouldn’t be too difficult. You hoped.
Regardless, it was computer parts that had you dreading being here.
There were different parts and different brands to consider, and in the end, Dracula might not even care about it.
You at least hoped he would like the parts to look at if he was uninterested in having a computer. At the end of the day, you could just use your laptop to show him things if need be.
At the very least, you knew Dracula liked to make things, if your family’s old journals were anything to go by. You liked to think he’d like to tinker with the parts for his own gain.
“What a headache… Could be wasting time and money for nothing…”
Maybe you should only grab a few things? And then if he isn’t interested, you could just give the parts to him to study?
You shook your head to yourself as you entered an aisle with a few of the parts you needed behind a wall of glass, and eyed your options.
Perhaps you should start with a cpu? Or perhaps some memory? Or rather-
“You sure like to take your time, Belmont.”
In an instant, the temperature of the building dropped severely, and you felt your hair stand on end.
Faster than a human could blink, you had your whip in your hand, and faced your adversary-
Only to freeze when you saw Death hovering next to you, uncomfortably close.
You blinked, and hesitantly lowered your whip.
“Um… hi?”
The skeletal cloaked figure tilted its head, its boney fingers thrumming on the handle of its scythe. All the while, your head was swimming as you tried not to panic.
Dracula may have been your family’s primary enemy, but Death, the entity, was never far behind.
“Hmm… You are certainly different from most of your kin before you.”
You decided to take that as a compliment.
Forcing your anxiety back down your throat, you managed to speak once more.
“Um… No offense, but why are you here? Is everything alright?” You asked hesitantly, yet tried to remain polite. Hold back any fear and aggression. You could do this.
Death was severely hated in your family, if a few journals were anything to go by. It wouldn’t hurt to remain courteous. At least you hoped.
You no longer were in Dracula’s castle, after all. Who’s to say Death might try and find a loophole and kill you here outside your family home and his master’s abode? Be done with this stupid peace treaty of sorts you had convinced the Lord of Darkness to try out?
Even then, you imagine he could probably get away with it, being Dracula’s second in command. In Death’s eyes, in the end, would it really be so bad if the Belmont dies? Get you out of the way?
It was Death after all. Even if the entity was punished, what was Dracula gonna do? Kill him?
You tried not to let those thoughts fester as the cold, blue fires in Death’s eye sockets bore into you.
It took a lot not to shudder in fear.
Death though, seemed not to notice, or care if you felt intimidated or not.
“I am here to see if you intend to return to my master, or if you are simply hiding away like a dog with its tail between its legs.”
That last bit alone caused you to scowl, and you had to stomp down the irritation that threatened to bubble in your gut.
“First of all, rude. Second of all, yes, I do intend to return. That's why I am out today, actually.”
You gestured with a nod of your head to the locked display that was in front of you, and Death’s ghostly eyes followed.
“I figured as a gift of good will, I could get some modern stuff for him here. I know you probably have a distaste for humans, but I can promise you and Dracula himself that the technological advancements made by them in today’s modern age may come across as intriguing.”
Wincing a bit at how that sounded, you rubbed your neck and ignored the twinge of pain.
“Not to sound vain about it, of course. Humanity has really flourished the past century or so with all sorts of advancements. Not just technology. I figured your Master would be interested, at least in a few areas to see if humanity’s advancements have reached his own.”
Death let out what you assumed was a hum, and just as you were about to turn and ask what the deity thought, a voice nearly had you jumping out of your boots.
“Hi there, can I help you?”
Spinning around, you nearly relaxed when you saw it was someone who worked here, though you quickly stammered.
“O-Oh, I uh-”
You spun around, panic running through your veins. You did not need regular people freaking out over Death itself being in a tech store-
Only to find no one there. Death was gone.
The room seemed to warm up again, almost to the point it was uncomfortably hot. Had Death’s presence really sapped that much heat from you and everything around you?
Swallowing your nerves, you spun back around to speak to the person who asked if you needed help. It wasn’t hard to put a mask back in place on your face, though you swore your heart never stopped hammering in your chest as you pointed out a few items you were considering.
That, and you tried to ignore how the employee eyed you, almost concerned.
Right. Bruise on your face. Skittish reactions. Great.
At least they seemed happy to unlock the glass display for you, asking you something about if you were building a computer. You could only mumble a response with a shaky smile, throwing out some explanation or another.
In truth, you could barely think as they brought the few items you had pointed to towards a register. How could you act at ease, knowing Death could quite literally be around any corner, watching you?
Could you even go home? It’s not like it would be hard to find your place of residence in this day and age, but you wondered if Death knew how to do so by regular means.
Which made the idea of going home and being followed… nerve wracking.
Sure, your place was warded to hell and back with ancient spells and hunting artifacts so no evil could step foot on your property, but…
That didn’t mean you were safe the moment you took a step outside, and you didn’t exactly like the idea of being shot at by a gun or a bow or something while taking out the trash, thank you very much.
Even then… were you comfortable with Dracula even knowing your home address in general?
You were in a fog of your own thoughts as you paid for the equipment you bought, only briefly being brought out of it when you noticed the price after everything was scanned.
No doubt you’d be feeling the loss of money in your bank account later. Ouch.
Thankfully, it was also easy to get a quick plan for the phone you bought as well, along with a phone number. Nothing fancy or long lasting, of course. No need to if Dracula was uninterested, or if was genuinely interested to the point of needing a decent one.
As the nice employee set it up, a part of you hoped this would help you and Dracula have a means of communication.
After all, you doubted the post office would deliver a letter to a giant castle in the middle of fuck all nowhere.
When they handed you the phone and receipt, you gave the employee a tired smile, before gathering your things and walking out the door.
The whole way to your car, you were looking back behind you, still wary of being watched. You hated this.
It was one thing to be followed by some asshole or a monster with a bone to pick, but Death itself?
Hopefully you wouldn’t be laughed at if you puked from how nervous you were.
After setting your stuff in your car and climbing in behind the wheel, you sat there for a moment as your engine roared to life.
It seems despite your warning that you’d need a month, it seems at three weeks you didn’t have any time left to spare if Death was making in person inquiries.
Gripping the steering wheel, you glanced up at the rearview mirror, and your neck cracked from how fast you turned to look back at it after looking away.
In it was Death, floating ominously, near empty eye sockets looking at you from behind your vehicle.
You turned around quickly, and no one was there.
Eyes narrowing, you looked back, and nothing was in your back seat. Nothing behind your car. Nothing in the area besides you.
“Oh, very funny. Didn’t you ever learn not to scare a hunter? Especially one who can actually cause harm? Not everyone’s fight or flight is flight you know.” You snarked out under your breath.
A part of you wondered if Death found this hilarious or not, scaring you. Did the being not have a care about scaring someone who could actually kill them?
Then again… if you were ‘alive’ for thousands of years, you wondered if you too would stop giving a shit and started doing dumb stuff like that for fun.
That, or Death was purposely trying to push your buttons so he could have an excuse to tattle to Dracula you ‘attacked first’. You hoped that wasn’t the case.
Shaking your head, you looked around your car one last time, hoping you weren’t going crazy, before focusing on heading home.
You’d give Death some credit, at least.
Scaring you like that helped jump start something in your brain where you no longer felt frozen in place. Even if Death damn near gave you a heart attack in the process.
The drive home was uneventful, but you felt as if your heart rate never truly rested after your mini adventure out shopping.
How could it? How on earth do you handle such circumstances? It was like trying to swallow claws as your anxiety tried climbing its way up your throat.
“You know, I can’t help but feel my life would be a lot simpler if I was born in a different family…” you mumbled, face scrunching up.
Maybe you’d be bumbling around in college by now, meeting some guy or girl who caught your fancy. Worrying about exams and dates, not whether or not offending one man could kill you and the entirety of the human race.
Whatever. No point mourning something you never had, right?
Your thoughts were a messy buzz as you pulled up onto your property, though it probably could be seen as humorous how quickly those thoughts came to a stop.
Slumping into your seat, you felt a new kind of anxiety and irritation bubble up in your chest.
“Oh, you are fucking kidding me.” You groaned out, spotting familiar vehicles in the driveway up to your house.
Why were they back so soon? Why?
At this point, your luck was a sick joke, you think. That, or just your life in general.
It looked as if everyone was back home, earlier than they should be, you might add.
Internally, you debated your options.
One, you could go in and get yelled at for disappearing without ‘a good reason’, eventually having to give some excuse as to why you were gone.
Or two…
Your pulse picked up as you thought about it. You weren’t exactly planning on leaving for Dracula’s castle today… But…
Strumming your fingers against your steering wheel, you bit your lip as you weighed the pros and cons.
On one hand, going today might get Death off your back. Though you hoped that at least seeing you shopping might have helped.
On the other hand…
You’d have to meet Dracula again, for the first time after being so injured… And no doubt you’d later have to deal with Jason and the others getting pissed at you again.
Then again… that was just normal at this point, just extra aggression. Maybe you should get out for a bit?
After all… You hated to admit how you were growing concerned with how more… open they were getting with their ‘grievances’. How long would it be before you were one wrong fall down the stairs, or turning a corner too quick?
Your face throbbed at the memory. The bruise on your face was just from a bag of junk. How long until it was a convenient bag of bricks being tossed instead?
Plus… You needed a break, you just worried about the repercussions. But…
You were tired. So so so tired.
There was an exhaustion that was deep in your bones.
Your head constantly ached, even more so after the bruise. You were always exhausted like you were on hunts often, no doubt from your lack of sleep.
And you constantly felt off while here, which you chalked up to always being on edge.
No doubt having to watch your back like prey in your own home for weeks on end was taking its toll with how you were constantly bouncing between feeling exhaustion and feeling sick.
You may be a Belmont, but the human body could only take so much stress before it began shutting down. Even you had your limits.
“Am I actually considering this…?” you mumbled, your brain in a fog as you tried to come to a decision.
It wasn’t like you didn’t have anything at the cabin, either… You had a few clothes there, and some non-perishable food….
With a groan, you put your head in your hands, and ran them down your face. You winced as your face ached at the action.
It was then like a switch was flipped, feeling the bruise again. You didn’t feel like dealing with this shit, and possibly having another incident while already injured.
At least… Dracula wouldn’t attack you. Hopefully. You could heal. Maybe.
Not that you expected him to take care of you while you were there. You could do that yourself.
…It just would be nice to be in a place where you could.
Hah… How many times was it going to be a shock for you each time Dracula, your family’s enemy, was the safer option?
With a sigh, you cracked your neck, and steeled yourself.
Looks like it was time to pay Dracula another visit.
—
The drive wasn’t as long as you expected.
Perhaps it was the good music that happened to be playing, or maybe it was your nerves. Who’s to say.
Pulling into the small dirt road leading up to your small cabin though had you rightfully nervous.
Was it safe? Did any monsters wander from Dracula’s castle and ransack your home?
Eyes naturally narrowing in suspicion as your vehicle came to a stop, you couldn’t help but start to think about it.
Technically speaking… You never said Dracula or his minions couldn’t destroy shit. Just to leave humans alone, for the most part. At least, what your working ‘treaty’ was. Perhaps you should discuss and iron out the details while you were here…
Should you have made a contract? Did supernatural beings such as Dracula even have to honor those?
Not like you could hire a lawyer to draft a contract for Dracula anyways… Not enough ones in the supernatural communities, let alone one that would involve themselves with Dracula without fearing for their lives.
No doubt there would be a few conflicts of interest, and you couldn’t just hire a human one anyway…
Blinking, you shook your head, before doing a quick glance over your property.
“C’mon… Don’t get distracted now.” You mumbled, climbing out of your car.
You did a quick look over the immediate property around the cabin, checking to see if anything had changed.
Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Even the inside of your small sanctuary had remained seemingly untouched.
Was it a miracle, or had Dracula purposely mentioned not to have this place harmed?
Or maybe he didn’t say anything at all? Did he even know this place existed, besides what you had mentioned? Did he keep his mouth shut to avoid anyone going looking to begin with?
After all, you had mentioned having property nearby, right? You couldn’t exactly remember…
Question after question filtered through your mind, and you groaned. You’d get nowhere if you just sat here and made guesses.
The only way to get answers and move forward, would be to actually visit the vampire.
So why did you want to put it off now?
Your nerves were like electricity in your gut, and you could only wring your hands together as you stood stuck in the small living room. It was almost like you were paralyzed, unable to do anything besides take a few steps here or there while your brain went haywire.
It wasn’t like you could go back. Jason would give you too much shit for it, and Mark and Seth would follow his lead.
Jason was a ticking time bomb at this point, you feared. You could defend yourself and all, but at what point was it too much?
With a groan, you ran a hand through your hair.
“God… I feel like a deer in headlights…”
Taking a breath, you tried to calm yourself down. Why was this so hard? Just go to the castle, and talk with him, and offer some of the stuff you had. At least you could offer the phone and bring the computer stuff later…
After a few more moments of heavy debate inside your mind, you came to a decision, before swiftly turning around and heading to the bedroom.
You’d… visit Dracula tomorrow.
Was it an excuse to wait? Yes.
However, you figured you’d be in a much better mindset after getting some rest after being away from your family home. You just hoped Dracula wouldn’t mind waiting one more day, even if you technically hadn’t even hit the deadline you set yet…
You could rest, eat, shower, and mentally prepare yourself the next day. Maybe you would look less pathetic for Dracula at least, compared to last time, and how you currently felt.
Although, you’d admit, you were a bit uneasy sleeping so close to the castle.
It was silly, really. You literally had slept inside said castle. By all means, you were in the snake pit while critically injured. Yet…
You felt safer there than here. Something you never thought you would ever think about your little sanctuary.
Here, you didn’t have Dracula’s direct protection.
Just how easy would it be for something to attack you if a monster sensed you? All it took was one disgruntled monster to figure out you were here…
By all means, it could even be spun that it wasn’t even one of Dracula’s minions, since it would be outside his castle. It was a grey area if the monsters outside the castle walls were under his direct control, you felt.
It wasn’t even your own safety you were mostly worried about.
Was it selfish or odd to be more worried about the cabin and the land? It was one of the last things you had of your mom untainted…
Well, if anything else, you’d destroy anything that tried to destroy this place.
That was your thought as you climbed in bed that night, trying to ease your nerves for tomorrow.
…Which is why when several flashes of lightning and thunder happened one right after the other, you nearly fell out of your bed.
Rain began to pelt your window hard, and the wind picked up a bit. You could even hear the trees shake outside from the weather as some branches brushed against your cabin’s roof.
“Was that from…?”
Dracula’s castle wasn’t far, not at all. A small walk away around a lake. It sounded as if everything was coming from the direction of his castle.
After a moment of listening to some more rolling thunder, you decided to close your curtains, and try to relax to the sound of the storm. If what you suspected was true, and Dracula was annoyed or upset… you didn’t exactly want to intrude and possibly worsen his mood.
As you warily drifted off to sleep, you couldn’t help but wonder just what had made Dracula so upset.
#castlevania#x reader#castlevania x reader#reader insert#gender neutral reader#dracula x reader#dracula#vlad dracula tepes#dracula castlevania#long post#Belmont!reader#fanfic#my writing#love that bites#ltb#cw: anxiety#cw: abuse mention#zed.writes
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The moment I think I'm finally getting the hang of this thing, I don't. And it puts my mood down instantly.
#personal#i was supposed to return one school assignment yesterday. regarding my training#i had time today between classes so i thought i could do it#i followed the instructions and went to the page where i'm supposed to return it#i realized i don't know what the fuck i'm actually supposed to write on a word document or even return there#i tried googling for help. to get some examples#i mostly found some bitchy responses to someone else's question about the same thing:#'if you don't know what you're supposed to do there. you don't understand what you're studying and you're not ready for the thing'#well duh. obviously#except i know what i'm doing. i know exactly what i'm doing when i'm WORKING#i just don't know what i'm supposed to write there. for my SCHOOL#and i can't even find good examples for that online because nobody wants to share them bc you're supposed to think for yourself#but my brain isn't working and my imagination isn't working when i can't picture the thing i'm supposed to be working on#i'm so tempted to drop out because this keeps happening to me all the time now it seems#i don't feel like asking for my teacher all the time#and my training supervisor is busy as fuck all the time#i do my training well enough but i can't proceed with my studies if i don't return these stupid assignments before christmas#i'm so fucking sick of this thing right now
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Sorry I'm about to ruin Eternal Diva for y'all but the whole Melina thing genuinely haunts me every day like. Melina is dead right but she doesn't die at the end of the movie where she willingly supresses her consciousness. That isn't Melina that is a copy of Melina that genuinely believes she is Melina. Because the Detragan didn't take her out of her body or anything it just made a backup of the data stored in her brain so if the "original" is unusable then it doesn't matter because you have another one right there. Melina never actually got another chance at life because her consciousness never actually left her body. Oswald probably knew that but he was so desperate and so unwilling to accept his daughter's fate that he pretended he had saved her. He wasn't even using these young girls' bodies as a vessel he was modifying their personalities for them to imitate his daughter so he could PRETEND she was still alive like what the fuck.
Anyway when you notice that the movie just gets a whole lot more depressing.
#that one part of Invincible really fucked with me when I watched it a few years ago#because they did the same Eternal Diva thing except they actually acknowledge like 'yk we aren't actually like transferring you right'#so now every time I watch ED I think of that and now you have to think of that as well. You're welcome!#I'm just thinking about Melina watching her father look for a perfect 'replacement' while she is literally on her deathbed#I'm gonna be sick what is it with these games and awful terrible tragic implications#there is no fucking way i'm putting this in the main tags btw i'm gonna get fed to the wolves. But I'm so right.#pl spoilers#professor layton spoilers#eternal diva spoilers
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I was personally assaulted (honorific) by this essay on ambition. It's very good.
#megs is reading#I would've linked it as a full link but it didn't parse right. which probably means it has some settings against AI which. good for them!#hilariously I was complaining immediately before reading it that SO MUCH of the discussion around burnout and overwork are like#'well you should train yourself to enjoy things and live in the moment and say fuck work and not worry about it making you more productive!#and like. as a writer. as a person whose brain will eat itself alive if I do not write. NOT because augh productivity#but cuz [that one post about how if you don't draw the images will clog up inside you and make you sick]#this does not ever spark joy. I want to do the work I enjoy and find fulfilling! I want that work to be valued enough to let me do it!#where is my discussion around burnout for people who like. can in fact sit down and enjoy a nice cup of tea or cooking a pot of soup#that's not the goddamn problem here. the problem is that not all labor is valued and in fact very little labor if any is valued.#the products are labor are valued. the labor itself is an inconvenient stepping stone that it would be nice to not have to take.#ANYWAY I'm just going to go try to finish my fucking book draft now. and convince myself that it matters.
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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#God knows what fresh Horrors await me tomorrow.#at this point I fully expect a plane to crash into my house#I've had two really bad days in a row#I already didn't want to be here#I don't know what to do#I don't trust any of the people who are supposed to be taken care of me or figuring things out#because so far not a single person has proven able to tell me the same thing fucking twice#they all look at each other's work and say it's no good#and I'm fucking done#I'm just done#I'm not even very sick#this could potentially get bad but I'm okay right now#what I am is a miserable person trapped in an endless cycle of repetitive appointments and phone calls that go absolutely fucking nowhere
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People really need to give Steel Wool a break sometimes, man- They messed up with Security Breach and now people act like EVERYTHING wrong with modern fnaf is all exclusively their fault when it's really not.
#Chip Chatter#especially when the issue literally WASN'T ATTACHED TO THEM AT ALL!!!#People really just say shit I stg#there's probably one person who'll think this is about one particular post#this post is a culmination of things#the twitter bs going on right now about modern lore and some people pinning all the blame on steel wool even though they don't write the#lore. A conversation I had yesterday with some people where one person kept blaming and shitting on SWS for the smallest of things#The fact that any time I try to talk about a small issue with modern fnaf in any fucking way I'll have people tell me shit like#“it's steel wool what were you expecting” regardless of if the problem was even their fault#and just generally people giving Steel Wool so much shit and most of the time it being over fucking nothing#Like I GET that Steel Wool fumbled with Security Breach oh my fucking god that was almost 2 years ago can we MOVE ON!!!!#They're improving!!! They fumbled one game and a lot of the factors involved weren't their fault anyways!!! Can we give them a fucking#break and just move on with the rest of the series already!!! I'm so sick of hearing people complain about SB when it's been almost 2 years#and Steel Wool is showing nothing but signs of improvement#Cough uhm anyways#of course you can criticize Steel Wool and I'm not saying they've never done anything wrong ever#just don't needlessly shit on them especially if the problem was out of their hands.#Rant over I'm going to bed
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I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling
#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line#which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile#and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end#...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick#I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now#it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy#that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides#that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them#it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here#also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha#adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think#but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm#that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways#...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak#it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself#and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy#I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff
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