#i'm so fucking sick of this thing right now

[blazillafirefox]

I can't trust anyone anymore. How could I ever when every time I think "is this how low humanity has fallen," it's like they want to prove my fatalistic angst correct?

Every election since I was old enough to vote inevitably involved a reactionary shmuck who wanted to target my community, and no one around me would listen or give a flying fuck because they were all focusing on arbitrary numbers that only hold meaning to the parasites that want to carpet bomb countries of innocent people, and also on whatever dumb excuse they could give for why they were going to support reactionary bullshitters anyway.

Time and time again, other Americans chose their personal convenience over everyone else's fucking lives and rights. The debacle with COVID proved exactly how entitled, ignorant, and belligerent the average American now is. The fact that so many "adults" behaved like petulant toddlers who were told "no" for the first time in their lives when asked to wear a fucking mask, to try to social distance, or to get the vaccine would have made me lose all respect for people if not for the fact that I lost respect for people already between seeing how ugly their true colors were and my trauma.

Who else is going to die before you finally admit something is horrifically wrong and act? I'm sick of waiting for you lot to snap out of it and do the right fucking thing for once. The rest of the world hates us, laughs at how idiotic we are, and thinks we're fucking pathetic, and to be frank we deserve it.

These motherfuckers said "I would rather let you die than suffer even the smallest personal inconvenience, and I use your tears to help myself at your expense" every day since I was born, and they wonder why I am so fatally exhausted from all the dumbasses here.

Take it from me, nobody hates Americans more than other Americans because we have to deal with these bigoted, entitled, heartless dipshits every goddamn day.

i do not enjoy living in the united states. i feel like a prisoner here. the social and geographical infrastructure has all but eroded most local forms of connection i have, and the harsh economic climate has stripped me of my ability to find solace even in my own home. if i were provided an opportunity to leave today with no social or financial repercussions that would almost guarantee my death, there would be no hesitation in my choice to do so.

[baronessvonglitter]

Behind Closed Doors

husband's best friend!Joel Miller x f!reader | WC: 2.1K

Summary: Your husband comes home early and walks in on you with his best friend - Joel Miller.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Explicit. Adultery. Cuckolding. Threat of murder/violence. Exhibitionism. Voyeurism. Breeding kink. If it's not your thing you don't have to read. Reader is married (see Adultery above) and able-bodied with female anatomy but no description otherwise. No y/n. If I've missed anything please let me know!

A/N: this is the follow up to hbf!Joel head canon which I promised but have been remiss in working on until today. It was practically finished already! 🙌🏼 I'm on a roll this week.. I'm just glad to be getting these ideas out and on paper your screen.

fun fact for today: I have never cheated on anyone. Does a kiss count as cheating? If so, then I change my answer and I did cheat once. Oops.

dividers by @strangergraphics 👑

JOEL MILLER MASTERLIST | FULL MASTERLIST

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO HER??"

Your husband walks in to find you with his best friend Joel Miller. The guy he's been friends with since fourth grade, who played on the football team with him in junior high, who took the fall when he crashed his parents' car after a party one night, who was his wingman for years before he found you.

That same man is in his bedroom, fucking you, his lawful wife, while you're on all fours on the bed, taking his cock as if you've done so a dozen times before. He doesn't know that you actually have.

Joel falters slightly, his rhythm off a bit as he's taken by surprise by your husband's coming home early.

"Don't stop!" You squeeze your nails into Joel's thigh. He looks at your husband with an icy stare and gathers your hair in one hand to give it a little tug.

"I won't stop, darlin'.. he can watch me fuck ya." And you squeal as he snaps his hips against you, this time with a fury.

Your husband steps further into the room, his blood boiling as he yells at Joel with a voice that sounds like venom. "I SWEAR TO GOD, MILLER, GET OFF MY DAMN WIFE OR I'LL BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT!"

You groan in frustration. "Honey, get out!!"

Your husband is shocked to hear you yell at him like this, especially in the situation you're in.

"GET OFF MY WIFE RIGHT GOD DAMN NOW OR I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU!"

"You're a bit too late for that," Joel says, his voice surprisingly even, before he starts to move in you again. His voice is like silk when he speaks next. "Darlin' did you want me to stop?"

"Please don't stop," you whine, pushing your hips back against his to keep him moving. Your actions and the pleading in your voice make him moan softly and his body reacts on its own. He looks back at your husband, making direct eye contact with him as he starts to move again.

"You hear that? She doesn't want me to stop."

You whimper as he moves again. The squishy sounds you make fill the room along with your sighs.

"YOU'RE A SICK SON OF A-" your husband yells, stepping forward as if to put a stop to it, but Joel gives him a warning glare.

"I wouldn't if I were you," he growls. "You come one step closer and you're gonna find out just how sick I can be."

His words make your stomach flutter. "Joel.. he's not gonna do anything."

But Joel doesn't take his eyes off the man as you speak, and he pulls your hair tighter. "You don't know what he wants to do.. he wants to kill me for what I'm doing with you right now."

"He won't kill you," you gasp at his hair pulling. "He won't kill you. He's in shock."

Your husband can't believe what he's hearing coming from you. He's shocked and angry. "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" he yells suddenly, but Joel doesn't like that at all, and he snaps his head back at your husband. "Don't talk to her like that," he says firmly.

"Joel," you whine again. "Just ignore him. I need you.."

Joel looks at you again, seeing how frustrated and annoyed you are, and he can't ignore you. Especially when you say you need him. He looks at your husband again, his grip on your hair loosening. "She said she needs me," he says, almost challengingly.

With a huff you get up, straddling Joel. "So rude to keep me waiting," you murmur, riding him.

He looks up at you, his hands coming to automatically rest on your hips before he looks over at your husband, his eyes still carrying that possessive look. "You heard her," he says without taking his eyes off your husband, "You interrupted us."

"Get out!" you say, frustrated.

Your husband's veins almost pop out of his skin from how angry he is, but he doesn't leave, only looking between the two of you. "You two are SICK," he says in a disgusted tone.

"You're sick for staying and watching," you pant, leaning down to kiss Joel.

Your husband looks like he's about to explode, but then you lean down to kiss Joel and his eyes darken at the sight.

You swear you've never heard a deeper tone than when Joel growls, "Get out" in a firm and menacing voice. "Your wife and I are gonna finish what we started."

"Listen, honey," you try to reason as you slow down, grinding on Joel. "Joel's under our roof -- oh god! -- and while he's under our roof he's our guest -- ooh! right there -- and while he's our guest this is gonna happen."

Your husband looks absolutely bewildered by your reasoning, his face almost turning purple with restrained rage. "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?" he yells at you, but Joel has heard enough. "Keep your voice down. You're interrupting," he says firmly, gripping your hips a bit tighter, trying to get you to keep going.

You focus back on Joel, riding him the way he likes. "You feel so damn good.."

He groans softly and looks at you, his hands gripping your hips tighter, trying to get you to keep the pace on him a bit faster. Your husband is sitll in the room but Joel almost forgets about him when you ride him like that. "God, baby, you feel so goddamn good," he says, breathless. "You like ridin' me like this?"

"Yes! Oh you're so deep!" You ride him faster.

The way you ride him is almost maddening, and Joel can't do anything but let you take control of him. He groans and grunts lowly, the feeling of you on him making him almost lose his mind., He looks up at you like he owns you but then he suddenly realizes that your husband is still in the room watching, He looks over at him again, his eyes dark and possessive. "She likes ridin' me, don't she?"

Your husband's face is even redder now and looks like he's about to scream at you, but Joel interrupts him before he gets a chance to open his mouth.

"Keep your mouth shut," he says, his voice firm and low. "I'm still not done with her."

Your cries grow louder. You scream his name until you come.

"Goddamn baby, you are so perfect," he pants, his hands digging into your hips a bit harder, as if he's holding onto you for dear life. Your husband looks beyond horrified, like he can't process what he's seeing and can barely keep it together when Joel looks over at him again. "Her man doesn't like it when I make her moan like that," he says with a smirk.

You're still squeezing him with your aftershocks, whimpering and sweating. Joel is so close behind you, almost completely lost in you and how you look and sound on top of him, trying to keep yourself up. He squeezes your hips as you ride out your aftershocks and he groans lowly as he feels you still squeezing around him. His eyes meet yours and he give you a possessive look, the need to claim you written all over his face.

He looks over at your husband, who's still watching you from the corner of the room, and speaks in a low, huskier tone. "You see her? I bet you've never seen her come like that. Have you ever even made her come?"

Your husband is speechless, looking like he wants to yell at the both of you, but he can't talk. Joel sees the look on his face and he smirks before looking back at you again. He suddenly grabs your hair as he thrusts up into you and makes you look at him, his voice low and deep, a challenge in his tone.

"Who do you belong to, baby?"

"You, Joel." you whimper. "I belong to you."

He growls lowly at your reply, the possessive need in him taking over him completely. He knows your husband is still watching but he doesn't care. He wants you to say those words, he wants you to look at him and tell him you're his.

He pulls your hair a bit harder and puts his other hand on your hip, pulling you down on him again. "That's right, baby, you're mine," he says in a low growl.

Another orgasm crashes through you as you're stuffed full of him. You coming again, squeezing him so perfectly, is almost enough to make him explode right then and there. He groans lowly again, his voice like gravel as he feels you squeezing down on him. He leans his head back, almost like he's fighting the orgasm, trying to prolong the moment and make it last.

"Fuck, baby, you're going to make me come," he groans and then looks at your husband, taunting him.

"Want you to come, Joel. Want you to fill my pussy," you whine.

Your words and how they come out in a needy, impatient whimper are like music to his ears. His head is clouded by the need to claim you and make you his. He looks at you again, his eyes almost feral, then he looks at your husband once more. "You hear that?" he says huskily. "She wants me to fill her up."

Your husband looks like he's about to combust, his veins visible in his neck from how angry he is. Joel just looks at him, his eyes dark and a smirk on his face, his breathing still heavy and his voice huskier than usual. "Does that make you upset?" he asks, his tone mocking.

Your husband is in shock and struggling to find words. but before he can speak Joel suddenly looks back at you, his eyes darkened even more. "You want me to fill you up, baby?" his hands digging harder into your hip. "You want me to come inside you?"

"Fill me up," you beg. "Put a baby in me," you say, knowing it can't happen anyway but you have to shock your husband.

The idea of knocking you up makes everything in Joel feel primal. He looks at you, his eyes almost feral, possessiveness radiating from him. "You want me to breed you, baby? You want me to fill you up and give you a baby?"

"Yes," you moan. "Want you to fill me full.. let my husband watch you get me pregnant."

When Joel glances at your husband he's almost surprised to find him with his cock out, pumping it, spitting on it to make it glide.

"Yeah, fuck your fist. That's all you're gonna get while I'm here," Joel grunts to your husband. Then he flips you over, his hips housed between your thighs as he slams into you, relishing the loud cries coming from your mouth.

"Ain't gonna fill ya until you come for me, baby," he says, nearly gasping for air. "Gotta earn my cum, baby. Gotta earn it so I can put a little Joel in your belly."

His thumb circles your clit, moving clockwise then counter-clockwise, gentle and insistent unlike the way he's moving inside you, hips pistoning as he works you into another frenzied orgasm, wrenching one from you as easily as he always has.

Tightening and pulsating, lightning runs through your veins as you let go with a loud curse, body arching up, taking in every blessed inch of him. "Good girl," Joel coos, slamming into you until he's at the edge, and then he turns to see your husband, still crying and pumping his useless cock with his fist. With a snarl, Joel maintains eye contact as he pumps you full of his cum, fucking you until the last drop is deposited deep inside you, and when he finally pulls out he uses his tip to softly push it back in when it starts to dribble.

"There, baby, so glad I finally got to cum inside you.." he places a kiss on the corner of your mouth, smiling as he sees your blissed-out expression. As an afterthought he glances at your husband, his fist full of come that spilled over as he watched you two.

"Not that I don't love usin' that pretty little mouth to swallow up all I've got," Joel adds fuel to the fire. "Or that tight little ass. I love fillin' up that tight lil' hole.."

With a smirk he rolls off you, gently caressing your belly, imagining it swollen, jiggling with baby kicks and your tits getting big with milk. "From now on I'm the only one who gets to come inside you, darlin'. Gotta make sure it sticks."

tagging those interested from the head canon: @itwasntimethatdidit40 @milla-frenchy @everybodylovedcontractors @probablyreadinsmut

@tateypots @eviispunk @thedilfdiaries @lanielooo21 @sunnytuliptime

@cxrsed-angel @joelalorian @myownwholewildworld @lilac-boo

@sawymredfox @aurorawritestoescape @604to647

@chewingbunny @sighofthetimez @coolranchdavidian

@tammythr @notgoingtomalta @amyispxnk @lokischocolatefountain

@megangovier @almostempty @tuquoquebrute @jinxispunk

@hotgirlbedtimescenarios @frannyzooey @la-vie-est-une-fleur29

@rabreu1414 @inept-the-magnificent @letsgobarbs @xkyxkyxxlylcylulucuflfluclu

and if I've forgotten any please forgive me 😅

[literally-noone83]

FUCK OFF WITH YOUR SHIPS I NEED MORE makixfem!reader RIGHT NOW

I'm just thinking about Maki as a silent lover.

She definitely took a long time to confess to you. I mean, you're the prettiest girl in jujutsu high — and quite frankly, in the whole world, if she was completely honest. You had a smile that put the sun to shame. Eyes that make her stomach flip about a hundred times when you glanced her way. Crinkling in the corners in a way that make your eyes squeeze into mooncresent shapes, her favourite time of day. You laughed and snorted when something was really funny (typically it's because Panda and inumaki were doing something stupid). You pouted at the most stupid things like a ladybug draped in a classroom (you were too adorable it made her sick). And you too incredibly kind — leaning in like that, tilting your head to the side at her when you asked about her day despite her silence, drifting away from the louder group you oh so naturally fit in and yet you're always in her face. Like a puppy to a black cat minding her business.

Yea, Maki kept her distance. Tried to at least. Silently observing you, loving you from afar. It was easier and yet so incredibly difficult when you're always gravitating to her too. Like the sun and moon.

You loved Maki. She was like a heavy protective blanket that felt warm despite her cool demeanour. Her silence intrigued you and better yet, when you got close enough, asked the right questions just to coax out her smooth, low voice, her words and thoughts intrigued you most.

Maki always thought she was too difficult to love. Tainted and bland. Rigid and sharp. The total contrast to the sunshine and softness you were in her eyes. But what shocked her was how you always had the space, time and energy to try. For her.

Finding her in hallways, seeking her out at lunch, tugging her hand along to trail behind the group, texting her at night. You tried and you succeeded in rounding her jaded edges, getting to her core. During her long and hard days of training and mission work, the sound of your sweet voice saying her name, whilling around to spot your beaming smile, twinkling eyes and excitable wave, God it's like cupids arrow straight through her chest and she's wondering... how'd I get so lucky?

So when she finally has you — her one and only — Maki is not grand gesture kinda gal, but she sure does try her hardest to show how much she loves you.

Maki is a silent lover, a woman of little words, but many gestures.

Sometimes it's just the small things.

When she's around you, in public or in your dorms, she's always got some sort of attentive eye on you. Walking in crowded spaces, she's always got a hand on your lower back guiding you through. Standing on a pathway, midway ranting to her about some incredible sale you saw at the markets you just left, Maki is pulling you closer by the waist, just a gentle tug just so the cyclist zipping by doesn't hit you. Lounging around in one of the guys' dorms, snacks and drinks everywhere, Maki is the one noticing you empty cup and she refilling it with you favourite drink before you notice it was gone. When it's your training days and she knows you're on the grounds till late, she's joining you at sunset even if she's beat and tired. She's not letting you stay out late at night byself, are you crazy? She'd always rather be there by your side, silently looking out for you whether you notice or not. Someone has to and if it's anyone, she wants it to be her.

And those are just the little things. A reflexive, comfortable routine she falls into.

When Maki truly gets to know you, know you intimately, understanding how you work, your quirks and insecurities, Maki is weighted with what dreary shadows her little sunshine has.

Late night talks, curled up on her bed, face to face. You play with the lint of her sheets as you murmur softly in the quiet twilight hour. You stare at where your fingers fidget, unsure whether to meet her eyes, unspoken fear of what Maki thinks of you as you tell her about your woes about being forgotten, replaced, as if you were only here for laughs and if you were to truly disappear... no one would notice when it's a little cloudy. Maki's half lidded eyes never left your face. Cheek pressed into her mattress, her short hair falling to the side kissing the edges of your sprawled locks, glasses pushed up close as her heart aches. Her love. Her sunshine. You really felt that way?

Her chest rises and rises, bubbling up with thoughts and rebuttals and proof to shut down your ridiculous, self-depricating, so fucking wrong, insecure beliefs—

and then one glance from your pretty eyes, so uncharacteristically shy and it's fleeting with regret, an apology slipping from your lips she'd kiss forever just to prove your thoughts wrong, and you're shrinking before her. Shrinking and shrinking and the sight snaps her out of her rumbling thoughts.

Maki's reaching out to take her fidgeting hand in hers, warmth blooming from skin to skin as she leans in a little closer, capturing your gaze in which she intends to keep.

"Don't apologise..." She whispers. Her light eyes soften under the dim light of her lamp, in a way so gentle and loving it was hard to look away.

"I get it." Maki confesses, squeezing your hand, the rough pad of her thumb gliding over your knuckles. "Ok?" Her voice is so soft, "But when you talk to me... like this? you don't ever need to apologise ok? Because I..." so soft, "I never knew you felt like that..."

The anxiety in your chest ebbs as she listens to her speak, her breath on your lips, her warmth like an unexpected blanket. A moment of silence stretches, both of your thoughts wandering, Maki traces the edges of your delicate complexion with her eyes. You nose, your lips, your eyes, the curve of your jaw, the softness of your skin — the map of her lovers face.

A small huff leaves her lips, one you would've missed if it wasn't in the dead of night and it almost sounded like a scoff. Before you could ask what, Maki's hand moves from yours to reach up and tuck a strand of hair carefully before her ears. Her fingertips grave your sensitive skin and goosebumps erupt down your spine, but you barely let it be known before Maki's speaks up, barely above a whisper,

"I don't know who would but... I know I could never forget a face like this..."

Your eyes widen slightly, and now your chest was tightening for a different reason. You stare at her, silently stunned under her unabashed touch, her fingers caressing your jaw down to your chin, the pad of her thumb gliding over your skin her eyes of mirth trail. Not with lust or desire but with affection. You've never seen Maki look so... unguarded.

"My pretty girl..." Her voice rasps with a love smooth and sweet like honey, "I could never forget you." She clarifies and her eyes meet yours again, softening as a tender smile graces her lips. She means it, every word. And you didn't need convincing.

Maki realised from that night that her little warm sunshine wasn't without her burns or cloudy days. The way you loved her loudly and proudly, Maki wanted to do the same. But with no need of an audience, just for you to know it, believe it and feel it.

Maki may not be one for big gestures or loud proclamations, Maki may be a silent lover but no doubt, she'd make sure she spent every day of the rest of her life ensuring you felt loved. Even if it meant protecting you from ongoing crowds, keeping your cup filled or holding your hand at 3 in the morning, listening to talk into the dark. She'd do it.

She'd love you till the day she has to take her last breath.

___

<3333333

I wrote this at near 5am... yea so not proofread :D

(y'all notice how its 'has to take her last breath', not 'when she takes her last breath' ? ... yea maki got that sacrific mentality. Maybe I should write angst for her too lol)

[mintaikkcorpse]

Aight I'm late to adding more analysis but just bcuz it was a while ago doesn't mean there still isn't stuff to note.

Again, maybe it's just my personal shit and me growing up with a time limit on how long i can be depressed before people stop caring and start being annoyed, but I was expecting Blitzø to get annoyed with Stolas in Sinsmas and be passive-aggressive, but he was so sweet and caring the entire time. Even when Stolas was being a privileged asshole, Blitzø was still so nice, even when calling him out on it.

Blitzø noticed that Stolas felt like shit when falling asleep the night before (for good reason), so he surrounded him with horse toys. ("If horses make me happy, they'll make Stolas happy." Best part is that he was right. Stolas was very happy to learn more about Blitzø's horse obsession).

Also, I just want to mention that you get birds to fall asleep by putting cloth around them to make a dark space, and that's what Blitzø did with his horse plushies.

Blitzø didn't know what kind of food Stolas liked, so he just made one of everything. And when he found out Stolas didn't like eggs, he immediately apologized and asked what he ate instead, so he could make what he likes in the future.

Also, just stuff like: Stolas likes to eat rats, so he went and literally hunted rats in the back of an alleyway so Stolas could have his comfort food.

He was incredibly attentive when Stolas was stressing our over Via. When Stolas would check his phone, Blitzø would try get him to focus on something else or tell him words of affirmation ("she's probably just away from the phone right now.") Ik that taking the phone away can seem like a bad idea ("what if she does call?") but as someone who has been in situations similar to this, I can not stress ENOUGH how important it is to get away from your phone.

Blitzø fistfighting a guy at the diner for spitting in Stolas'a food lol.

Stolas had a mental breakdown over being "poor" and couldn't even make it through one phone call without ugly crying on the desk, and Blitzø was just like, "Great job, buddy!" bcuz he knew that being honest with Stolas ("that was the worst fucking phone call I've ever seen) wouldn't help at all, and he doesn't want to make Stolas feel worse than he already does.

Stolas was catatonic for a bit after the fight with Via, and instead of being annoyed or whatever, you know what Blitzø did? HE FUCKING ATE HOT-ROCKS TO WARM HIS BODY SO HE COULD COMFORT STOLAS

And all of this has been going on for over a month? Dude, by that point, I would expect most people to be sick of it, but not once did Blitzø complain or make Stolas feel like a burden or did he ever snap at him. Being attentive and caring and patient is the most important thing you can do for someone in a situation like this.

Anyways, typing this made me realize some issues with my personal health and how I view how quickly I need to get better before people stop caring, so imma go write about it to talk to my therapist. If you have anything to add, please do, I love this episode sm

Maybe it's just my major fear of being a useless burden, but the fact that Stolas was literally so depressed and dissociating and just kinda going through the motions and was so completely out of it that he didn't react to hsving trash thrown on him and didn't even bother to try and lift himself back up when he went in the bathtub and literally has nothing left yet Blitzø still offered him a place to stay and helped him and guided him into his home and bathed him while saying that it'll be alright and lifted his head out of the water and double checked to make sure be didn't do it again and got up from the couch so Stolas could lay down and didn't ever seem annoyed by him or berate him or treat him as a liability and seemed genuinely caring and willing to help without complaint almost made me want to cry

[somanyideassolittletime]

the car love shop.

Pairing: Jack Abbot x fem!mechanic!reader

Summary: Jack's truck is overdue for an oil change. what the hell? the owner's pretty???

warnings: language, meet cute, Jack is crushing hard, reader owns a car shop, some grammar inaccuracy me thinks. lmk if i missed anything.

The shop is unfamiliar for Jack – it’s too clean for a mechanic shop in his mind, it lacks chaos he usually finds in his usual shop. But the owner of his old shop passed away, and his children decided to sell it, so he lacks one trustworthy shop for his truck in this city. He was here for an oil filter change, he would’ve done it himself in his younger years, but his prosthetic is a reminder for him to just trust this kind of thing to the pro. 

He enters the shop, looking around. It smells faintly of gasoline, oil, and fumes from welding, he supposed. The floor is not as greasy as he liked for a shop, but the more he looks around the more he finds comfort in the organized mess the shop seems to have. 

A man approaches him, wiping his hands on his pants. “Hey doc, can I help you?” Jack must’ve looked puzzled ‘cause he can’t remember ever seeing this man before in his life. The man laughs, motioning to Jack’s get up. Ah, right. Scrubs.  

“Uh, yeah, I need an oil filter change.” he points his thumb over his shoulder, pointing to his truck parked in front. The man whistles, “yeah, but you gotta leave it here. My hand’s full right now.” he says motioning around the shop, two cars inside, one on the car lift, one with its machine on the table. 

“C’mon, just a quick filter change, man?” Jack tries to persuade him. He shakes his head, “I’m elbow deep in an overhaul, man, and some dude dropped off a fuckin cracked block. But you go to the boss, She’ll help you, probably.” he says walking over to the car he’s currently working on. 

“The boss?” Jack asks, the man nods, “yeah, just the office back there.” he motions to the door behind the car lift, with torque wrenches in his hand. 

He walks over to said door, knocking twice. “Come in,” he opens the door. And his breath caught in his throat, fuck. He’s accustomed to meeting a lot of attractive people everyday on the job, but you? You might be the most beautiful thing he has seen. He seems to have stopped in his tracks, hand still on the door handle because you smile, “you know, you can enter, right?” you say, with a playful lilt to your voice. Because damn, that is one fine specimen of men knocking on your door. 

“Oh, uh, yeah, your guy told me to come here,” he says nervously – now feeling stupid like a kid with a crush. He enters the room, standing stiffly now, looking around; there’s a photo of you with two guys, one who greets him earlier, the other one he guesses the guy in the other car. Your desk is a cluttered mess, with a laptop in the center, landline on your left, and a few books he wouldn’t have guessed to find in a car shop. 

You nod at him, “I’m not sick y’know.” you joke at him. The joke doesn’t land on him though, he’s still trying to slow down his beating heart – not that you know – so you chuckle, “I'm kidding doc, what is it?” 

He shakes his head, smiling nervously. “Uh, yeah, I need an oil filter change. Your guy said you can help me, they told me to talk to you to help me.” the words don't come as confident as he would’ve liked. 

“Yeah, it’s a mess now. But c’mon, I’ll do it.” you stand up, your office is air conditioned, but Jack could definitely feel the room physically getting hotter by the minute. You walk past him, he could smell the perfume you wear, he starts getting dizzy. 

He follows you out the door, into the shop mindlessly, like he’s in a haze. “dude, how many times do I have to tell you not to leave jack here,” Your voice – saying his name – caught his attention, so he looked at you, who’s talking to the guy earlier, he looks down near your leg, a car jack is placed on the floor. Ah. that jack. He could feel his IQ dropping down the more time he spent in your vicinity. So he walks faster, dodging every tool on the floor, catching up to you. 

Arriving at the front of the shop, where his car was parked earlier, you whistle “damn, he’s handsome” Jack can feel his entire body warms, he knows you’re talking about his car, but he still can’t help himself. 

He wished he would’ve met you anywhere but here, because here, he’s helpless, he can’t feel confident. In the hospital, he could be confident because he’s in control. He’s in his element, but here, he’s standing near the most beautiful girl he has ever seen and he feels lost. 

You kneel down under his car, before standing up again “wait here,” you say to him. He nods. 

You come back not a moment later, kicking a car creeper, holding an oil filter for his truck in one hand – an oil pan in the other. You settle the car creeper beside his car, sitting down on it, before asking him. “What’s your name?” he smiles at the question. “Jack,” now feeling silly saying his name after mistakenly thinking you know his name only to point at a freaking car jack. 

You smirk at him, “well, Jack, thank you for your service.” you lay down on your car creeper before sliding down under his car. His body went stiff, how did you know? He thought. Though he decides to let you work before asking it. 

He watches as you work, though it’s more like watching your shoes since your body is directly under his car. But he can’t seem to tear his gaze away. He can hear your grunts, followed by an unlocking sound, and a liquid pouring. 

You slide back toward him, smiling real wide, still laying down on the creeper, “you have this sort of military guy vibes going on, Jack. That and your leg.” you motion to his way with a socket wrench in hand. He instinctively looks down at his leg, wanting to ask before your voice cuts him to it. “You drag your right foot slightly, so I guess. Tell me, am I right?” your tone holds no malice and he smiles back at you, nodding. 

“Yeah, two out of two.” 

You punch your hand in victory, “see, still got it.” you start, “kid’s been telling me my deducing skill is shit, gotta show them who’s the boss here.” you say, pointing inside the shop, referring to the other guy in the shop. 

“You work at West Penn?” you ask him, Jack shakes his head, now feeling his confidence back. “Nah, PTMC. ED” 

“No shit, I might stop going to west penn now, their doctors aren’t as attractive as the PTMC one” Your tone is bordering flirty, and he digs it. 

He crosses his arms, forearms flexing, your eyes darting to it, so he feels confident now as ever. “You know that you should seek to stop going to the hospital at all, right?” 

You huff, “yeah well, tell that to the two dumbasses inside.” he laughs. “What about you?” 

“Me? Nah, some cuts here and there, but nothing scary.” you explain to him, showing your forearm with a scar from too much tinkering. 

“Good to know, well, if you ever find yourself in need of stitches, you know where to go, but, I work the night shift, just to let you know” he says, smirking. You turn your head to his car, looking to see if the oil has been drained fully before groaning, “ugh, now you telling me to schedule my tinkering injuries at night, uh uh got it doc.” 

He laughs, looking at you sliding back under his car, oil filter in hand. He might just find his favourite car shop in the entire world now. 

The rest of the time you work on his car, both of you talk randomly – you tell him about the history of the shop, and he tells you about some of the weirdest injuries he has tended to – He can’t help but feel like he’s known you for a couple lifetimes, you both seem to be able to talk with a familiarity of a long time friend. 

“How much do I owe you?” he asks you, after you close his car hood. You shrug at him, “eh nothing. It’s my day off today. I’m off the clock so my service is free.” 

He looks at you, eyebrow raised. “Yeah, right. Day off in the shop,” you smile at him, “What, I’m bored at home. I was watching last night's game in my office before you came.” you go to walk away before he catches your elbow in his hand. 

“No really, how much do I owe you.” you looked down at your elbow, feeling warm now. He thinks he’s crossed a line, so he dropped his hand. You look up at him, smiling confidently, “well depends, you wanna go out for a coffee or not?” you crossed your hand before continuing, “ if yes, it’s free, if not, well 60” 

He’s feeling as confident as ever now, so he jabs at you, “you know that's a really bad way to do business, right?” you laugh, he can definitely get used to hearing that he thinks. “Eh, it’s still standing”

“what? You do this to everyone, huh?” he teases. You shake your head. “Nah, just the really special ones.” 

“Soooo, do I get your number too, or…” 

“Depends, you gonna ask me out or just asking for future reparation, cause I can give you company card y’know” 

“That’s TBD” he muses, watching you looking over to your shop, yelling inside “kids, i’m going out now, you guys behave okay” before jogging over to the passenger side of his truck, opening the door. 

“Hey, are we going or nah?” you say before jumping inside his truck. 

He shakes his head grinning, jogging slightly to the driver side. Yeah, I can get used to this. 

[midnightshindig]

I would love to see a Allen x reader while their having fun in the sun. With Allen’s first time being in a human beach.

Allen the Alien X Reader: Beach Episode

this is on some TOH shit where I'm making the executive decision that alien beaches are like unbearable or dangerous asf

ty for your time

today I did three loads of laundry and handled college stuff like a boss so yk go me.

"Hey babe do you wanna go to the beach? The UV is 10 today and I wanna work on my tan."

You didn't mean anything by it, casually packing a beach bag as you spoke

What you didn't expect was Allen's reaction, confused and a little startled

"What? Babe, you can't be serious. There's got to be better places to tan than near open beaches. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

"....what?" you narrowed your eyes, jaw slack in perturbed confusion. The fuck was he on about?

He raised an eyebrow back "Like, pools of water are one thing, man made, safe. But naturally occurring bodies of the stuff? Isn't that dangerous? I thought you guys knew better than to play with dangerous nature."

You couldn't restrain yourself from cracking a smile, piecing together his mistake "Allen, babes, beaches here aren't inherently dangerous. We've got wildlife and like.... the undertow I guess, but most beaches are totally safe here." You remembered something, smiling even more "Bitch you've SEEN Teen Beach Movie."

He joined you in laughing, "I thought that was an exaggeration! Like- a fantasy world where the water is safe! How was I supposed to know?" He walked over to you, an air of humor now that this misunderstanding had been cleared up

"No hon, it's for reals. Now go get your swim trunks, you're coming with me!"

The beach was moderately packed with people, not uncommon for the newly warm time of year

Just enough to assure Allen of the safety of the water while not stopping you from getting a good spot on the sand to set up camp

He helped you prop up your sun umbrella and sheet, unpacking the small cooler of sodas and water you'd brought with you for refreshment

"I still don't understand why we brought water, isn't there water right there? It's nature, so there aren't chemicals or anything." Allen turned a water bottle in his hand

You hummed in response, cracking the tab off a soda and taking a sip "Yeah, but there's salt in this water, you can't drink it. Plus like... fish pee and all sorts of shit."

Satisfied with this answer, Allen drank one some of one of the water bottles and placed the remaining bottle back in the cooler

"C'mon, let's go swim!" He held out a hand to you, but you looked up at him with scrutiny

"I came here to tan, babe, I'm goo-" before you knew it, Allen had hoisted you over his shoulder and was walking you to the shoreline

"Getting wet makes tanning easier, pluuuuus-," He dumped you into the water ",It's more fun this way!!"

You squealed, feeling the cold water rush around you as you came up for air

He hadn't gone very far into the water, just enough that you weren't hurt by the throw

"Gahh you dick!" you splashed him with a hearty laugh, grabbing his hand and trying to pull him into the water to no avail

"I'm gonna get you!!" You jumped onto his back, trying to pull him into the water, both of you laughing all the while

"Nuh uh!" he yelled back, flipping you over his shoulder and carrying you bridal style before dropping you into the water

This continued for a while until the two of you tuckered yourselves out.

You retired to your sheet in the sand, taking the opportunity to drink some water and tan

"So, what do you think?" You asked, candidly lounging on your stomach

He thought for a minute, before responding with a bright smile "It's pretty sick! It's nice you guys get to enjoy nature like this. It's.... pretty communal. And free. Crazy stuff!"

The air was pleasant and a light breeze kept you cool in the hot weather, all seemed right with the world

After a bit of lounging, you walked up the beach to buy sandwiches from a shop on the pier, before returning to your sheet to eat

"I have no idea how you eat those..." you teased, cringing at his unusual sandwich

"The strawberries ADD to the roast beef, babe, you don't understand flavor combos like I do."

"That's disgusting...."

"I wonder if we have different taste buds. We must. because if you could taste it like I do, you'd be just as obsessed." he took a large bite of his monstrosity, strawberry juices dribbling down his chin before he wiped it up with the backside of his hand "How's yours?"

You finished your own bite and hummed in contentment, "Good! Same sandwich I've been getting since I was a kid. It's hard to go wrong with a well-loved classic."

"I'm glad you're enjoying it, babe" he allowed you to lean against his shoulder, the two of you watching as the sun began to set on the water

After packing up, you let Allen haul everything to the car

what good is a super strong alien boyfriend if he doesn't lug shit around for you?

You returned the favor by being the one to drive, since your human car didn't much agree with Allen's proportions

With the top down, he fit as comfortably as he could

"So," you started, pulling onto the road as the wind started to tussle your hair ", how did you enjoy the beach?"

Without skipping a beat, he enthusiastically responded, "It was incredible! I had no idea you guys had such cool natural life here. I wish I'd grown up with natural swimming areas, that's cool as hell!!"

"So, do you want to come back sometime this summer?"

He scoffed, leaning over the center console to press a kiss to your head. "Of course, I'd go anywhere if you asked me to."

[luv-lock]

Have you ever thought maybe the reason that there's a rise in far right, are retards like you?

And no I'm perfectly fine and healthy unlike you because I bet you hit your head when you were a kid. And that's sad because your mommy didn't loved you enough to look after your ass. That's explain why you turn out like this.

A whore is a whore. Just like a teacher is a teacher and a doctor is a doctor. Doesn't matter the gender. I call men whore too. And yeah the job of people matter when it's come to their opinions. That's why you go to a doctor when you're sick. That's why people watch someone like Destiny when it's come to politics and not Mia Khalifa.

About the misogyny thing, the fact that you think you have the right to tell me what to do and what to say is misogyny, bitch.

And why calling a whore, a whore make me a hypocrite? I just wrote only fic when it's come to this type of things and it's literally about a girl who's life was ruined by men around her, it's not something that she's proud of, it's something she have to do to survive. Because that's how women like that live. Funny how retards like you want to celebrate the misery of women and yet you call yourself a feminist. But ofc you're a fucking retard so you don't understand what this life is like, y'all see the "sex work" as only these only fans bitches who make millions of money and are proud of it. There's two different worlds but you only see one of them. Who's the hypocrite here?

Btw just so you know, the word "sex work" was made up by pimps to normalize trafficking women and children.

Now let's get to your bullshit about soldiers. First of all I have said I, do you hear me, "I" have respect for soldiers. And I probably know more than you when it's come to that matters because I bet you're just a karen who's mad at world because daddy and mommy didn't love you enough. And you're trying to tell yourself that you're a good person because you go around policing people, and being a piece of shit.

Yk there was a protest in Iran for women rights, after they killed Mahsa Amini because of her hijab. And yeah I was there, and I was fighting for my rights. What have you done for women rights huh? Did you bought a blue bracelet and shave your head? Omg so brave. Fucking clown.

And you know who were people that helped us to escape? They were soldiers!

Yeah they had to do what government told them to. They were forced into it. And yet they would still help people. I was shoot in the foot and it was a soldier who hide me from others until my cousins found me.

Interesting how you call me misogynist when I literally bleed for my rights. Go fuck yourself bitch.

Retards like you are the reason that people are turning against the left. You did that to yourself. Now cry about it.

[thetepes]

I'm sick and tired of people being like "Oh well, she's never made a serious video like this before, so of course the tone would be off." First of all, no, she's made content like this before with her Lily Video. I don't remember much of it, but I do remember the tone being very dry and serious. Like, you know, how it's supposed to be when dealing with serious topics.

Secondly, even if she'd never made one before, she's a grown woman. She should know better than to add jokey jokes to a serious video. The "Eggman Piss" bit is especially egregious. In what universe did she think it's ok to make, let alone put into the video??? It's not funny, it's incredibly disrespectful to the victims and is just a tasteless thing to joke around about with an alleged rapist.

"Well, she had good intentions." Did she? Because the tone, the aforementioned Eggman clip, Hyping up and Memeing about the Live Premier on Twitter, and now whining on Twitter about "being the worst person ever" makes this whole situation seem like something she did mainly to get attention. I don't like being uncharitable, but it really feels like the reason the Saberspark stuff was added on was bc she wanted credit for breaking the story.

Like who the fuck is given a survivor's testimony, and instead of helping them access something like RAINN, thinks, "Yeah lemme give this to my random ass YouTuber friend." Fandont trying to weasel out of responsibility bc "I. Did not. Work on that video." Yes, you didn't work on the video, BUT YOU led the victim to KP. The victim who was outed against their will, bc of KP hack editing. The victim who was directed to KP instead of professionals.

There is so much more that is wrong with this Video and how KP and Co. have handled this whole situation, both before and after the video dropped, but I'll stop here. I feel so bad for all of them victims involved. I don't know if she's going to make an apology video or not, but even if she does, it will in no way make up for what KP and Co. have done.

There is nothing more for me to add, you are completely right.

[clovecloveangel]

Infinity Nikki - 1.5

Listen i know that most of you won't read this (I'm mainly a DC blog) but I'm just SO UPSET - also I have Infinity Nikki in my profile.

...

Context: I play a game called Infinity Nikki. It is a gacha game centred around the female demographic where you pull for outfits and instead of combat, focus on platforming in the most GORGEOUS open world i have ever played.

This current version (1.5) was meant to do a lot - introduce a major outfit which is FAMOUS in this game franchise that's completely free to craft, a dyeing system that expands the current colour options, and co-op multiplayer that lets us be more lesbian with our fellow stylists! We were also finally getting a steam release!

This was also meant to optimise the game - this game is built on Unreal Engine 5, and mobile + ps5 have been struggling to get good quality, but they've been really consistent with improving the game so far - as a tablet player, the difference is outstanding!

So yeah, everyone was HYPED, especially after 1.4 was... pretty empty.

...

But we can't have nice things, can we?

...

Bugs that make the game shitty for some, unplayable to others.

A complete retcon of the fucking story, replaced by some shitty multiverse that focused more on the LIMITED BANNER OUTFITS than the actual free major outfit of the patch (the sea of stars).

Pointless/invisible pieces added to limited banner outfits, increasing the pity to make it harder to pull outfits.

An extension of the endgame without additional rewards, despite it being the major way for free-to-play players like me earn the currency.

HEAVY MONETISATION - the dyeing system costs a new currency PER PIECE, the prices have been secretly hiked, fake sales which are INSANE and technically illegal, and as I said - more pieces to banner outfits which makes them harder to pull for.

Oh right, and the game is still UNPLAYABLE!

They even nerfed one of the new limited banner outfit abilities (y'know, the one which they made harder to collect) secretly last night, without giving any information in advance.

...

They've fixed some things - the endgame is reset to be twice a month again, and they're doing a lot of bug fixes, but NOTHING to help players log in, nothing to fix the god-awful story retcon. I can't fucking believe it with my own two eyes - this was the patch titled 'No More Empty Promises'!

...

Before anyone comes at me with 'this is just how gacha games are' -NO. I played Wuthering Waves when it released and was hell to run. I played Honkai: Star Rail for two years before I got sick of the meta. I've never seen a game, so built on player trust and care, fuck up SO BADLY.

I never thought that I'd want to quit a game so soon after it launches - but it's been a week with no major compensation except for 30 pulls before going on a five-day vacation. Which the devs deserve of course, but a horrible release date nonetheless.

...

There's so much more that's wrong by the way, but I just NEEDED to say something about this - I love this game, but I HATE it right now.

I thought this game was for girls. I thought this company, while still being shitty anyways, would at least make the game worth the time. I hope to god that I'm still right, and that this isn't the end of me playing it.

...

If anyone wants some good information about what's wrong, watch this (no clickbait, no stupid rage posts, just good, disappointed criticism.)

[cleolinda]

Weekend links, May 4, 2025

My posts

I am still struggling with the fifth Silent Hill 2 commentary; the video I recorded last week (4/30) also isn't usable. Like, maybe I'll post it on Patreon as an extra at some point, but it is not the level of excellence we strive for here at Cleolinda Industries. Within hours of that, April's parting shot was to knock me down with another head cold, BUT, now that I have escaped its grip (April's, not the cold's. I'm still sick), I may have solved my OBS problems. I DON'T KNOW. WE LIVE IN HOPE. 

Meanwhile, Ian's off in fuckin' Brookhaven Hospital. IT'S. FINE. (I'm in the chat, we figure out some good stuff about the lore, it's a good time.) Also, at the top of his stream, he had sound engineer Andy Sudol on to talk about the differences between the 2001 and 2024 soundtracks. 

Signal boost while we're talking about games: I'm doing really well on light combat in SH2, except for when my neuropathy acts up and my fingers just decide they don't want to participate anymore (it's a good bet this has happened if I start screaming "JAMES WHAT ARE YOU DOING??"), so these mods and resources for disabled gamers caught my eye.  

Reblogs of interest

@mamoru looking out for us on the food safety front

Y'all, I don't know what's going on with Pinterest, but don't breathe too hard right now. An update from Reddit: More news outlets are reporting the sudden mass ban wave these last two weeks

My personal question: how does it actually BENEFIT companies to make their product unusable, though? I understand the answer, and yet, as a person who can think more than five seconds ahead into the future, I completely do not understand the answer.  

This question was also partly inspired by Polygon getting sold/gutted, in the sense of this Reddit reply.

Oh, I wasn't even thinking of Duolingo asserting itself as an "AI-first" company even as people complain that the quality of the app has plunged, so fuck them too I guess

PSA about some scam call techniques

I had to tell my therapist that I was facetiously done with life and everything in it, so I get this post

Good (and cute) news: "you can sponsor your own big beautiful TB- or landmine-detecting rat through APOPO HeroRATS"; "First-of-its-kind lab breeds bumblebee babies to save species from extinction"

Zines: I Am Not Your Asian American Doll

Speaking of Silent Hill 2: "this is how tag searches feel"

"askjeeves how to smuggle 30 naked prisoners (assorted genders) out of vampire mansion time sensitive."

"no, you’re thinking of fusion and fission. Bisexuals result in two nuclei that are identical to the original nucleus. Pansexuals result in four nuclei with half the number of chromosomes of the original cell"

"oh to be the black blob of a cat in vanessa stockard's paintings"

In tough times, there is one thing thou must always remember

All of these are horses

"Goblin learns they have a racist sword": some fantasy ideas

Flip the Frog gets restored

I'm particularly amused by these Vanillary reviews because I have it as a solid perfume and it's fine. 

I agree with all of these expletive/accent pairings.

A feline boo ghost to go with last week's ghost dog photoshoot

"The tribes of Tumblr appeared to worship Apollo as their primary patron deity, most often under the epithet Apollo Spairahemon ('Apollo the Ball-Thrower')"

Video

Wet beast Wednesday: "MOVE IDIOT"

Blumineck has a new approach to the three-arrow trick shot

"i know this is a predator. like a hardened killing machine. tempered by hundreds of years of evolutionary prowess to fine tune him into a living weapon. but"

Finsync

Good guy who talks like a bad guy

I honestly was not prepared for anything in this anecdote about buying a printer

The sacred texts

The iconic "girl… what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀"

Personal tags of the week

I will be adding to "with mama" as often as possible. (You know what? I also need to add to dragons.)

[rollerska8er]

A few months later, I want to clarify the Luigi Mangione point: I think Luigi should be presumed innocent until proven guilty and he has a right to due process and a fair trial (as much as that's worth in the US right now with its Republican-occupied government).

I am not saying he committed the killing of which he is accused. I am simply pointing out the Leftist doublethink attitude that amounts to "Luigi is an innocent bystander and the cops planted evidence on him, but also, if he did do it, he is a hero of the people" which is just nonsensical.

People who think the killing of Brian Thompson was a justified act are absolutely the kind of people to develop an intense conspiratorial streak about Luigi. I'm not saying I trust what cops say. What I am saying is that high-profile causes célèbres are ripe for the Left to begin spreading insane, misinformed bunkum of a sort we haven't seen since the JFK assassination.

Whether or not Luigi "did it" is immaterial. I was more making an observation about the way the Left has, in a short time, developed a cult of personality around him. Anyone who dares to suggest that maybe wild conspiracy theories aren't the way to collectively process a high-profile, ongoing murder trial, risks being savaged and accused of not caring about the poor and the sick.

Which isn't what's happening, I am just genuinely concerned that when Leftists substitute unfalsifiable conspiracy theories for scepticism and reasonable doubt, and begin using them as the foundation for their ideological framework, it makes the Left look utterly directionless and unhinged.

Insisting that Luigi is a patsy and saying "We should presume Luigi is innocent until proven guilty" are two very different positions. One is setting up for another Qanon movement which insists shadowy puppetmasters are seeking to enslave the world. The other is a normal belief in due process. And, unfortunately, a lot of Leftists see these two things as one and the same.

So, again, I feel pretty fucking disconnected from the Left right now, because the Left insists that thinking about things carefully is violent and reactionary while believing any old shit is noble and proletarian. And that ain't a movement I have any truck with.

I feel increasingly disconnected from the Left, at least online. I don't mean I'm moving to the right or becoming a centrist.

I mean I'm kind of disgusted by how to be a leftist online you seem to be required to uncritically support conspiracy theories that favour vague anticapitalist objectives (see: "boeing had a guy killed" and "luigi mangione is a patsy"); you need to repeat antisemitic canards and distrust Jewish people in the guise of "antizionism", you need to uncritically post guillotine memes like the guillotine is an object completely stripped of all historical context.

i'm appalled by authoritarian violence fetishists and redbrown campist types whose conception of political economy is trapped in the early twentieth century; who think cops and prisons are great as long as they're nominally "socialist"; who deride any attempt to critique society outside of Marx, Engels and Lenin as "revisionist" or "bourgeois"; who think that the best path to human liberation is to support the Russian Federation and the People's Republic of China in their landgrabbing, revanchism and irredentism.

i'm disconnected from Leftism as a kind of performance, a set of rituals and shibboleths you must enact to be seen as "a decent person", vs the actually hard work of critiquing your own deeply-held beliefs and biases about the world, much of which ought to be conducted privately and in a self-interrogating way, and which accepts one's own moral and ethical imperfection.

i maintain my belief, above all else, in self-determination, bodily autonomy, and in the total liberation of all humanity, in the establishment of affinity groups and communities of common interest. if that makes me a filthy individualist in the eyes of the Left, so be it. at this point i'd rather be seen as an individualist than compromise on my personal morality.

[disdaidal]

The moment I think I'm finally getting the hang of this thing, I don't. And it puts my mood down instantly.

[darklight-owl]

Sorry I'm about to ruin Eternal Diva for y'all but the whole Melina thing genuinely haunts me every day like. Melina is dead right but she doesn't die at the end of the movie where she willingly supresses her consciousness. That isn't Melina that is a copy of Melina that genuinely believes she is Melina. Because the Detragan didn't take her out of her body or anything it just made a backup of the data stored in her brain so if the "original" is unusable then it doesn't matter because you have another one right there. Melina never actually got another chance at life because her consciousness never actually left her body. Oswald probably knew that but he was so desperate and so unwilling to accept his daughter's fate that he pretended he had saved her. He wasn't even using these young girls' bodies as a vessel he was modifying their personalities for them to imitate his daughter so he could PRETEND she was still alive like what the fuck.

Anyway when you notice that the movie just gets a whole lot more depressing.

[luckyshouse]

thank you so so so so much for making that post abt the scary acceptance of pedophilia and incest as kinks/fetishes/whatever, I've been feeling crazy for thinking this is all so messed up and backwards (and everyone yelling how "it's just fiction so it doesn't matter!" as if propaganda isn't a thing lmao), I'm genuinely experiencing such a huge feeling of relief to see an artist i really enjoy the work of speak about this 🫶 (also thank you for sharing your art here, I'm really glad to have found your art a few months ago during a tag scroll)

i am so very glad that you feeel a lot of relief with me saying that. there needs to be more people saying it because it is creating a space and a dichotomy on this website where you either get to be a catholic antisex puritan or super proparaphilia to the point that you never criticize it. its kept me from exploring my own sexuality so much as a "weird furry" because truthfully i am into a lot of weird stuff that IS taboo but the idea is if you are into that shit, you ALSO have to be ok with proud paraphilias in your community. and this mindset also KEEPS people stuff in their paraphilias. this is why i bring up that pedophilia and incest isn't a taboo kink, because no, it isn't taboo. you go on pornhub and can find teen and family and rape shit literally everywhere. but you know what you cant find on pornhub? hypno. you're not allowed to look that up. not to make this about homestuck but did you know they deleted and scrapped the beekeeper trolls old design and stuff because they were outed for drawing giantess fetish stuff, but then also included a character thats canonically proshipping, made by a proshipper, whos actively into incest on their blog right now? this is exactly what i fucking mean. the whole "incest/pedophilia is taboo" idea only works in the same way that a comedian saying theyve been "silenced/canceled" works. like boy, i sure do hear a lot of you all the fucking time constantly on every website for something thats supposed to be "Silenced" i wonder why! i wonder what those two things have in common? could it perhaps be that its a fascist tool to silence people who push back against their beliefs? hmmmmmm.

it makes me very angry, and very sick. and i hope that more people are willing to speak up about it because i feel like this mindset also purposefully keeps survivors stuck in traumatized states so that there can continue to be the idea of a biological predator because people LOVE to make categories of people they can kill and torture without guilt. the idea that pedophilia starts nowhere and is just some weird misfiring of the brain implies that anything we do or any kink we have is completely independent of the society we live in, which is literally just not reality at all. like you said, somehow they can keep saying that fiction doesn't effect reality, even though propaganda is real and literally works, advertising is real and literally works, misconceptions are caused by fiction to the point they change reality, and then they also can't seem to figure out that OTHER PEOPLE could be using their art to groom literal actual children. its just so irresponsible, selfish and childish in my opinion. and then you could make the arguement that yeah of course its childish theyre so traumatized that they don't have the emotional capacity to understand the reach theyre causing and im like okay. this is the same logic we apply to autistic men sexually assaulting women. "ohh theyre too unwell and have the mind of a child" ok well get their ass in therapy if they're that incapable as an adult and seriously talk to them and tell them the truth. this is WHY its such a common thing for autistic men to become sexual abusers in the first place because everyone and their fucking mother goes "well he has the mind of a baby so he cant control himself" do fucking something about it then.

im rambling about something thats not even really connected, sorry. i just have a lot of very strong opinions of this that i think need to be said.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[essektheylyss]

I was personally assaulted (honorific) by this essay on ambition. It's very good.