#i'm so angry right now lmao
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THE BEST OF SHENKO 1/?
The end of the world has a way of reminding you of all the things you forgot to say do. Mass Effect: Legendary Edition (2021)
#mira makes gifs ✨#kaidan alenko#sophie shepard#EDI#shenko#fshenko#mass effect#mass effect legendary edition#dailygaming#OTP: you're real enough for me#i learned i am physically incapable of creating less than like 20 gifs at a time#but shenko stonks are up right now!!#gif’ing my favorite bisexuals gives me joy 🥹#even though ME2 is dry as shit for shenko content like it’s literally the sahara desert#like a whole ass 10 minutes max of cutscenes between shep and kaidan like come on#like 2 minutes in the prologue and like 8 minutes of cutscenes on horizon#and then an email and looking at the picture in your cabin before the suicide mission#i'm so sorry y'all ME2 shenko canon is absolute shit (besides kaidan being rightfully angry on horizon) which is why we ✨ignore it✨ 🥰#but i rant about ME2 VS treatment too much so i will not write another essay about it in the tags#i will say the EDI line isn't the exact quote from the game but i think about it a lot tbf#same with the quote i borrowed from anderson too lmao (which is also a tiny bit paraphrased)#i just love EDI asking shep for relationship advice when you get to follow shep and kaidan's relationship/struggles across 3 games#and anderson's quote about all the things you forgot to do in relation kahlee to is just *chef's kiss* when you think about shenko#like whether it starts in ME1 or ME3 shenko has some really fantastic moments across the series#two characters with strong morals who realize that they're falling in love and literally start to become each other's strength??#their soft place to land?? their support when they need it?? shenko will always have my heart#also the shenko quotes you get are the most fire thing in the world#you're real enough for me?? you make me feel human?? i want to be your strength- your soft place to land?? shenko you will always be famous#I FORGOT IM GONNA FIGHT LIKE HELL FOR THE CHANCE TO HOLD YOU AGAIN TOO LIKE??#but i’ll stop ranting now bc i do that wayyy to much in my tags lol. have a good day wherever you are! <3
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I think a fun activity for Thanksgiving this year, with the way the vote count is going, would be to cancel the whole dinner altogether and I order a pizza and drink a whole bottle of wine and huck my phone off the roof
#I am more scared now than I was in 2016 by far cause I mean..... the senate is gonna go repub. it's gonna be a shit show y'all#I don't wanna sugarcoat how uhhhh fucked up I kinda feel things are gonna get real soon#like. I grew up in a solidly right wing limbaugh fox news hannity worshiping home. they have always been out for blood.#so like lmao. I'm really worried. and very angry. and terrified. like. will I be able to get all my meds next year?#maybe not! how cool will that be!#will I have my job next year? maybe not! awesome!#and that's like first world basic white bitch problems compared to the fears of immigrants and trans ppl in this country rn#so like. I keep trying to play video games. and I just end up crying. I should probably start drinking.#erin explains it all
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Okay, see, the thing about your story ending on a negative/dystopian/'despite everything that's happened nothing has changed in society' note and doing so successfully? It needs to have been set up for that in the first place, and it needs to be done in an intentional manner.
I have nothing against works that reinforce how cruel/meaningless/pointless/etc. the world is -- I enjoy a fair few! -- but the works themselves need to be some sort of commentary about it; the plot might be demonstrative of the futility of everything, but the story never should. It should take that and build on it and use it to make a statement, underscore a point, etc. to its readers. Having everything carry on business-as-usual without acknowledging it, especially in a genre that's generally meant to conclude on optimistic, uplifting, and hopeful notes, comes off as callous and in direct opposition with the values it extols.
Plus, the story itself should never be futile because, then, well, it never mattered as a work and it makes no difference if you've read it or not. Which... that's just a badly written story lmao.
#i can't believe i'm posting about this topic again on our dear hellsite tungle.com lmao#huge deja vu vibes what year is it????#2018/2019??#(i think that's when the shock value/genre hopping/genre inconsistency hit its peak across multiple series)#i don't even go here anymore omfg#man. i didn't think i'd get this upset#that's what i get for going to look#i should know better by now. really. there's no excuse.#y'all my curiosity one day will kill me.#but like. i'm not upset as in 'i'm so angry i will fight everything'#that was past me#we've blown right past that and gone straight to the 'vaguely ill and sick to my stomach' stage#character development XDD#but like sorry not sorry explain away all you want about *gestures to all the other stuff*#but how the fuck do you explain having the visual emotional and narrative focal point of that family in its concluding panels#be the person who caused this shit???? why is he the one getting closure????#pretty sure i don't have the entire context surrounding my other lad who got pulvarized#(i saw a few comments about something something of//a would help with the end of the world that's coming and instead was used to murder him#that i don't quite grasp because i literally just skimmed the most recent chapters out of curiosity due to things i saw on my dash)#BUT i am making the executive decision to stop here#this rabbit hole's deep enough and i've gone wayyy further than i should have already#gonna cook some dinner; pick up sis from work; and enjoy my summer evening on my balcony#GAH#withoutwords
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And once again, I started to like a ship that I used to despise because people made enough adorable art with it to melt mountains.
#hankcon#how did it happen exactly and why#never seen their dynamic as father/son relationships but didn't like it interpreted romantically either#I'm all for *just* platonic attachment#but damn#now I like this interpretation as well#I used to get angry at the sight of them being shipped#I used to think it's gross and weird#but somehow not anymore#I'll support every interpretation from now on#(unless they're respectful)#after all those different interpretations exist because they make different parts of the fandom happy for their own reasons#even though some of them are fucking weird#although lmao reed900 is so ridiculous I have no right to call other interpretations weird
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ever since we figured out my husband, his sister, and his cousins are all autistic, the possibility that i married into an entirely autistic catholic family where all of the older adults are undiagnosed is kind of objectively hilarious tbh. everyone's autistic drives compel them to need a bunch of alone time but everyone's catholic cultural mores compel them to put family first and repress the hell out of themselves. no wonder they're all passive-aggressive as hell to each other all the time and got mad at me when i didn't pick up on how to do "family" that way. i literally did get catholic religious trauma-by-proxy lmfao
#text#ik i haven't been on here a lot lately but my husband's grandpa passed away on new year's day#and that seems to have like... clicked something in both my husband's and my MIL's brains somehow?#(not that i'm saying it's a good thing he passed away. everybody liked him including me; he seems like he was a remarkable person)#like my husband was like ''oh shit vik actually is right about this neurodivergence stuff'' both in himself and in his family#and my MIL actually seems like she might have taken it to heart when i called her out for acting like a grown adult bully lmao?#like she hasn't apologized yet or anything. but now that my husband understands his own neurodivergence;#HE might be able to explain to his mom how she likely has RSD and i wasn't actually rejecting her#i personally struggle to explain this to her without freaking out that i'm not masking enough for her and/or getting angry :)#but ANYWAYS she did not yell at me at the funeral which is a minor victory for now lol#and the funeral was literally the day after my thesis proposal so i am exhausted af#(the thesis proposal went well too btw. i passed & will defend my thesis for real in a couple months; so i'll FINALLY be doctor vik!!)#so that's all the updates for now o7
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Litterally my local cops when I call them to mention that it's the second time in less than a month that the same woman show me her genitalia while screaming all sort of insults and threats at me on my own fucking street and that maybe they should refer her to a social worker or a psychiatrist or something
#i'm so fucking angry i'm shaking lmao#i honestly didn't expected much from those useless motherfuckers but i would have thought they would at least pretend to care#anyway i mostly wanted to leave a paper trail because if this woman do as much as touch me she's getting thrown on the damn ground#and she's like 60 + so that might fuck her up which is exactly why i wanted someone qualified to help her before things escalade#but apparently it's not an emergency and the non emergency number i called after straight up told me they can't do shit#so i guess this crazy bitch can just keep walking around showing off her pussy and screaming at people to go get fucked in the ass :D#i know i said it before but i'm so fucking mad right now#btw i'm saying it in advance but anyone who tries to shame me for trying to get help from the cops is getting blocked#i don't even want her in prison i want her to see a damn shrink!#but apparently that's not gonna happen so fuck me i guess
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I think if there's one thing that truly, truly exhausts me about fandom now is when people very vehemently and passionately take sides and hate certain characters over others and dedicate entire blogs just to how much they hate those characters
it's not even in a "be nice, let people enjoy things" kind of way, like that's whatever, I don't need anyone's permission to enjoy anything.
it's more that it's just exhausting. it's just so much work to hate a character like that, especially if you're the type of blog to seek out empirical evidence to back up your viewpoints.
it's one thing to dislike a character and to talk about it. it's another thing to start like, a full-blown campaign trying to get other people on your side. aren't you tired?? don't you have like, actual real life things to do? go clean your room.
#the discourse I'm dodgin' lmao#but literally every fandom I'm 'in' right now has this issue#every fandom has always had this issue#hotd fandom is full of bickering about Ali and Nyra#and how TB sucks and TG is perfect or vice versa#Legacies fandom CONSTANTLY pitted the twins against each other which I found esp ironic#given that the twins themselves were more ride or die for each other than anyone else#YJ has all of the arguing about whether Ja or Sh was the better/worse friend#people starting Je hate blogs just b/c they don't understand and/or like some jokes about him being a malewife#just. so much. bickering.#and meanwhile I'm the type to be like 'they're all messy fuckers and I love them for that' in every situation#so I just can't quite grasp having fun doing it the other way#to each their own and everything but damn#I'm exhausted just thinking about putting that much effort into being angry about fictional people lmfao#also obvi I'm not the fandom police y'all can do whatever the fuck you want#I just can't relate
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I know it's probably just a part of restarting the lamotrigine, but. holy fuck does it have me short on spoons and patience and. Everything mentally today lmao
#text post#worst case scenario I find out this med no longer helps me and i stop it#but it's been less than a week so I know this is just. Part Of It All lmao#that said every decision I've had to make today has immediately paralysed me and/or immediately made me angry/upset so. That's something#that usually only happens when I'm already overwhelmed and/or overstimulated but it's EVERYTHING today as if im stuck in a state of that#like. I had to choose if i wanted to work upstairs or downstairs today (surveys and writing) and i had tears in my eyes trying to choose#im upstairs rn and considering going down but. yeah. Having An Moment#and I hope this effect doesn't last more than a few weeks to a month at longest lmao#on that note apologies if u reach out and i don't reply right away i absolutely will be reaching back out!!#I just need a bit today to try and chill my brain out before I'm talking to anyone for an extended period of time#hoping if i wrangle the spoons for that now I can use them all and feel better by this evening which has worked in the past so!!!
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Taking suggestions on what to do when you are so upset but can't fix anything immediately? Idk how to distract myself
#personal bones#I'm so miserable and stressed and angry and just. completely hopeless right now LMAO
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the ideas i'm having right now vs. my ability to express them and myself
#im the one in the toilet btw#i just have to be like this for a second i promise i'm not looking for anything and will likely delete this in the morning#but damnnnnn ... i guess to put it nicely (toward myself). i am not where i want to be with my writing at all right now#and i'm so FRUSTRATED#i reread something of mine the other day and i was just like. yuck. i hate myself.#and it's probs just a weird extension of this whole... dysphoria thing im going thru right now but#YEESH I WANT TO EVOLVE#i feel like a big fat caterpillar ready to become a butterfly but idk how the hell to make my cocoon#part of me thinks im in the cocoon but......... it's been a long *ss time in here if so lmao#anyway thats just to say i have two ... or three bomb *ss ideas that i just can't put on paper right#and im not really satisfied with the dabi thing either even tho. i really wanted to be#and it sucks bc all i wanna do is be on here BUT I'M SCARED#hence why my ask responses have been. ok i wont lie. nonexistent#but i think abt my ideas every day and then just fold them up and put them away bc i think if i wait they'll get better#AND THEY NEVER DOOOOOOO#arggggggggggggg its making me so angry#but that's all#hopefully i can write this idea out soon and be free#cuz thats my dream#among bettering my writing along with myself#but hehehe im probs just tired#sorry to be a downer!!! i go beddy bye now#caitie blabs#delete later
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one thing about me is that i'll freeze to death when angry. like i'm shaking and not from anger, it's just that i get so cold
#johnny's silly rambles#surely this is normal right?#or is it the lonely having a grip on me and making this all dramatic like “there's not warmth in my life *faints dramatically*”#but i mean am i wrong???#lmao why use a tma ref but i've been thinking about this a lot recently but ANYWAYS#i hate being angry :(#i'm meant to be pet..#he's not answering now too. ofc. he probably doesn't even know what he did wrong...#fuck off dude. i was angry at him before for pressuring me to do things i don't want (like using tinder or sth which... wouldn't make-#-much sense to me... if you were listening to me??? maybe??????? but he never listens.) but now it's just- argh i want to punch him#yeah another#vent#sorryyyy but i can't let this out anywhere else#if you're reading all this ily <33#and dw i'm gonna be fine#just so frustrating to deal with all of them nowadays
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hi
#soooo I have a bunch of posts in my tag right now that i'm gonna queue#and i know there's stuff in my mentions and inbox as well (but i'll deal with that over the weekend maybe)#i really don't wanna be here atm. and wow who would have guessed that removing the thing that makes me angry & anxious & sad from my life#would make me...you know. less angry and anxious and sad.#basically i'm taking a break. or extending the one I've already been taking these past couple of weeks i guess#(except for my trekkie moonlighting lol. but that's actually a chill and happy space so it doesn't count)#i don't really wanna get into it but life is not so great and everything here has been making me even worse lmao#so until i find a way to fix that I need to stay away#touch grass as the kids say.#it is what it is 🫡
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Why did I wake up at 6.30 to be in work for a meeting just to find out the meeting was cancelled at 9pm last night
#i feel a bit ill im so tired and for what lmao#am actually a bit genuinely angry getting right fed up with the past 18ish hours#and my manager was funny about letting me go early on friday since i was getting in early today#when he had the option of attending this meeting from home n i didnt cuz i have an in person meeting due right after#so i had to be in the office so now ive got like 5ish hours of sleep#and im angry#I'm going home early today fuck it I'm already so fed up
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Go write a love letter for him! Then you can give it on valentine's day! I think it's pretty obvious that you both like eachother, why not confess first?
🫂
Well, you see– [loud construction noises from the neighboring house making my speech incoherent /j]
#[ 🗣️ | the magical girl replies ]#[ 🫂 | hug anon ]#the last time i sent a crushie a v-day letter they confessed they kind of. cheated on me#we were mutual crushies (they did the 'crush-back' to me as we Filipinos would say) and we were basically in a mutual understanding#friends with feelings fr#feb 14 2021 i write him a poem like i did my friends#feb 15 2021 he confesses he'd been s/xting one of my now ex-bestie.#lmao imagine making a cute hand-written card and origami and it gets set on fire by accident#and to top it all off: my ex-bestie went like 'dont blame him. blame me. but im not apologizing because u two arent even a thing yet'#what in the disrespect of my friendship and trust#the worst part of feb 15 2021 was that *it was an exam day*#so i get heartbroken and then gaslit and i end up with a headspace so bad i couldn't do my practical writing exam#i'd never felt so angry before. my blood went warm to hot and i was shaking#i was screaming so much in my head it hurt too much#i hated my crush i hated my bestie i hated ME because who else let this happen? who introduced one to the other?#well it's about to be two years since anyways and i like to think i'm over them lol#my main concern is *how my crush trauma now affects current crush feelings* HAHAHHAHAHhahahaha. ha.#sometimes i'd want to be aro instead but i'm not aro. i experience every aspect and every form of love#the scope of how i feel love also happens to include romantic love#like ik how there's love for family & friends & creators & craft & people & also romantic love. ykw i mean right#so there's... that going on haha#new person new time different outcomes right?
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my boss *knows* i don't want to close on my own so why. why does did he make the schedule for next thursday like this.
#i'm going to have to talk to him and right now i am going to have an anxiety attack over it i guess#i have said this to him several times is he fucking joking.#i'm really going to have to beg this man to care about my well-being? lmao#i'm tired#i can't do this#personal#if he starts with me about personnel expenses i will scream#business is booming he can't lie to me#he's trying to maximise profits at the expense of my mental health and i'm so fucking angry actually
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me back on my semi-yearly watching of drumeo vids for fun (anguish) shit specifically "______'s drummer hears ______ for the 1st time" and GOdD ALL I WANT IS TO HAVE A REAL KIT AND LEARRRRRRN IT LOOKS SO GREAT AND FUN AND I FEEL VERY CONNECTED TO IT IN A WAY I CAN'T DESCRIBE WHENEVER I WATCH SOMEONE PLAY 😭😭😭😭
#it's so fascinating and i think i'd really take to it and well i've been right about these things before#like if i had space and didn't live in an apt back when that gov money hit i would have gotten a starter#it was actually my 1st thought before a bass which idk why though bc i was lichrally in an apartment lmao#i have an e-kit but haven't used it much cause still kinda loud and i was away and now it's elsewhere for the time being but#once i get back on my feet w by bass playing i may set it up again bc the itch will be too great#but even then i just want to work on the real thingggg#and i Know it'd be so theraputic for my rage (and tactile needs w my anxiety even a lil practice pad for that would be nicee)#(will be hell for my tinnitus tho so oop (plugz4ever))#lichrally a bass sun drums moon ass bitch#ppl will spend 5 mins w me & get that i'm a bassist 'ohh you're sOo chilllll! oh ofc!' but Never guess how angry i am all the fucking time#literally so chillangry it hurts? (lol jokes aside idk how that exists in such a small space like how have i not imploded)#i Need to Hit Shit#(constructively. (or destructively without consequences.))#(((still can't believe i've never made it to a break room i keep forgetting they exist or am poor att or both)))#anyway back to watching and crying
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