#i'm serious about the spite part though. i may not have much hope but what i do have is spite in abundance | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pancake-breakfast · 1 year ago

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I could sleep. I could play video games. Or I could Trigun Bookclub.

Trigun Bookclub it is.

Stream-of-consciousness thoughts for Trigun Vol. 1, Chapters 9-10 below. (More detailed thoughts will be their own posts.)

Chapter 9: Between Wasteland and Sky...

I love that the girls actually comment on how hot and uncomfortable those suits were.

Meryl is right; this is very non-standard for an insurance agent. It's even pushing it for a reporter.

Howwwww does Prada even exist out here?? How did they manage to transfer name brands this far away?? Did Mr. Prada (I know almost nothing about Prada) buy himself a cryogenic stasis chamber on one of the ships??? Where are they getting the materials? Why are they getting the materials?? Are they just... made out of Thomas leather??? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

Please apply the previous point to Gucci, and Fendi....

I don't have anything in particular to say about it, but I do like the title page spread.

Ok, what's going on with the proportions on this page. First, Katie only comes up to Vash's waist, and then she's a little below shoulder height when he's only barely slouching? Dude.

I think she asks a legitimate question about the functioning of his pain receptors.

Letting a plant overload is bad. Letting a Plant overload is worse.

My dude Mr. Hat Guy. You recognize the blueprints are valuable. Do NOT step on them! Rude.

Honestly, this shows a lot of maturity from Katie. Even if one is working to make things right, there are still consequences one must accept. And Vash... he seems to accept her decisions in this. Or maybe empathize with them, but I'm getting ahead of things.

I like this guy peeking around the text bubble.

Plant reveal! Though I feel like Vash's line might be misinterpreted to be referring to Katie instead of our new bubble lady friend.

I wonder if Plants are really ever in control. They're already century-old tech that (almost) no one understands, and so they're not really controlled so much as maintained.

Yep, hitting the angel imagery HARD in the manga.

Oooh, she's getting sparkly.

Vash is trying to help, but the fact that he just jumped into things and is like, "You guys do stuff while I take care of something that no one else knows how to take care of," is just creating confusion.

Plant lady is NOT happy....

Oh, these pages are beautiful. I love how calm yet determined Vash is as he approaches her. I love his wings showing, clearly for the reader's sake and not as something anyone around them can see. I love their hands mirroring each other on the glass. I love the way her expression changes from this...

...to this:

Putting the "dead" in "deadline" here, aren't we?

TBH, I LOVE that they gave taking care of the heat valve to Wolfwood in Stampede. I mean, I know he hasn't even shown up yet here in the manga, but having him show up sooner and then push his way through the people to handle it on his own really drives home both how much he's changed from being a "normal" human and how much he's willing to go through for a chance at protecting the orphanage. The... uh... the orphanage that isn't in this scene, either. Because different timelines.

Ok, I can't tell what the heck happened with the steamer. I'm glad I've seen the anime.

Aww, they're both all beat up. But now that Katie is awake, Vash's expression goes from serious to smiling.

Ohhhh, there's what happened with the steamer.

I like that Neon may not like Vash, but now, at least, he respects him.

I love this wide shot. Like, it may be nothing but barren wasteland, but Katie's pose is determined, and the sun has risen over the horizon. There's a lot of hope in it.

Can't not have music be part of the world in Trigun. It's very important. For real. Goes hand in hand with hope.

Hahahaha, Katie getting all defensive. Don't worry. Vash likes the tune, too.

He looks so flustered....

I love the arc coming full circle here with him once again thinking about Rem and why people keep living in spite of everything.

Of course that would make him tear up. And... of course Katie would misinterpret it an take offense. And Vash probably won't explain, because it's complicated and a permanent raw spot in his heart.

It may have arrived two days late, but it ARRIVED.

Chapter 10: Little Arcadia

Huh, I'd heard that this was originally three volumes instead of two. This must be the original volume break.

Ah, Milly and her giant family. Of which she's the youngest. Of course.

Staying up all night writing? No, I can't relate to that at all, why do you ask...

Awww, I love that her family adores her letters.

Good hell. That packet of letters she has is a BRICK.

LOL, Meryl not knowing what to write aside from, "It's dry." Girl. Your life is CRAZY. Tell them about that. Or just tell them about the mundane things, if you don't want them to worry. You can do it. I believe in you.

Oop, Vash's fangs are showing. Why ya gotta get him all flustered like that?

No wonder he's stressed. I'd be stressed if people were using me as a human shield while hurling insults at a gunman, too.

Don't put your finger on the trigger unless you're gonna shoot. That's Guns 101, Mr. Emo Gunman.

Bwa?! Sudden Insurance Girl Attack! x2!

This guy...

I love how Meryl is shouting technically true stuff about how dangerous Vash is while Vash himself is looking pathetic AF. I'm sure he's LOVING everything she's saying about how dangerous he is, too....

Yes, indeed, Old People. Meryl and Milly are definitely... different.

Poor Vash just hiding and gibbering in the bottom of the panel...

Vash may have soup brain, but Milly has ice cream brain. Which I guess is still a kind of soup if you put enough toppings in it and then let it melt for a bit.

"It's nothing really." Yep. Nothing. It just increases their frequency of getting into life-or-death situations and has them constantly having to do their best to mitigate both their charge (who is VERY good at both trouble and sneaking) and other people who aren't positively inclined toward their charge (understandable, but also it's a misunderstanding). NBD.

I like how, for once, Milly and Meryl are being propositioned for bodyguard work instead of Vash.

Aaaand now they're asking Vash.

That risk prevention policy sounds handy. I bet you can slide a lot of usually-unauthorized behavior under there.

Uhhhh... I feel like I should be extra-concerned about something if Vash is concerned about it.

Trees!

I do hope they find a way to weave this story into Stampede...

Plants (lower-case) belong to the people. PLANTS BELONG TO THE PEOPLE!!! Naturally.

Vash probably is genuinely impressed by all this.

That's it. That's the point of the story. That's what Vash is constantly trying to do. And biblically, something something mustard seed growing from being tiny-tiny to something huge and bountiful.

Ooh, rejecting people looking at the picture of his family. There's a story there. Especially considering that this chapter started with Milly writing letters to her own family.

Oh, gods. More Nebraskas....

#just because i know these stories from '98 doesn't mean i can't throw myself whole-heartedly into my first read of the full manga #trigunbookclub #trigun manga #volume 1 #pancake thoughts

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straighttohellbuddy · 3 years ago

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don't think i'll ever get enough {Dream}

Summary: A few moments in Y/N and Dream's life in the year after they get married. Things that change, and things that don't. Telling friends and keeping quiet. And, of course, idiots in love; so, so much (stupid) love.

A/N: 5728 words. final part, but i genuinely don't think you need to have read any of the last three to enjoy this. its so tooth-rotting, and they're so very stupid. please please please let me know if you enjoyed this series/what you enjoyed about it, because it kind of owns my heart. i'll be rereading this one for a long time to come. If it's 8am and I spent all night finishing this, don't worry about that, just read the fic!!

Warnings: implied nsfw. mentions of smp-violence. tooth rotting fluff

{ Idiots-To-Lovers 'verse } | { 4 / 4 }

"I saw on Twitter the other day, someone talking about how they missed our dynamic before..." You trailed off a little, unable to stop your faint, knowing smile, "before we started dating." You say carefully; you knew Dream would hear your hesitation, and be the only person to understand why the wording made you smile so.

"We both know the reason," Dream, you could hear, was smirking.

"Oh we both know the reason," you agreed, grinning from ear to ear, "but you're Mister Super Famous Minecraft YouTuber so you have to be careful what you say, and I may be an idiot, but I'm not foolish enough to say something on stream with you that would get you cancelled -"

"Thank you," he laughs.

"- but also, speaking of; Foosh!" You exclaim with delight, "I haven't spoken to Foolish in ages, I miss him!" Your train of thought is quick to switch tracks, suddenly fond adoration shines through your tone. "There's a few people that I've been meaning to speak to since our holiday -" Dream hums at that, but doesn't comment; you wonder if he's fidgeting with his ring at the memory like you wished you could. But your ring was sitting, gold and demure on your desk just out of frame.

[Y/N ANSWER MY TEXTS CHALLENGE] Quackity, who you knew had been watching the stream, sends, and you snort a laugh, [I MISS THE OLD Y/N WHO HAD TIME FOR LORE]

"You little goblin," you hissed with a smile, watching your chat erupt into chaos at the mere hint of potential DSMP lore with your characters. At Dream's confusion, you explain the situation, but you can hear your husband's shit-eating grin as he asks chat to spam roses.

"Fuck you," rolls off your tongue instinctively.

"Fuck me yourself, coward," Dream counters with absolutely no forethought and barely concealed glee.

"Oh no, I'm not falling for that again;" you grin, "trick me into a spite kiss on stream once, shame on you-"

"Hey, you're the one who felt the need to come and spite kiss me -" he pointed out, loftily.

"You know me and my braincell never back down from a challenge," you pointed out, and he hummed thoughtfully, though it trailed off into a laugh, and he agreed quietly, fondly.

"I need people to take me seriously in Minecraft again," you mused after a moment, and you sigh dramatically before Dream can even begin to ask you what you mean, "everyone thinks I'm silly, which-" you clarify pointedly, "I am, but I contain multitudes! Silly is a facet!" Dream is muffling his laughter behind his hand, and you're grinning despite your attempt at a serious tone, "just because I, as a content creator, only have one braincell, and that braincell happens to be allergic to my- Dream's," you catch yourself quickly, hoping your chat hadn't noticed your slip, "doesn't mean I can't craft a mean character! Once I message Q and Sam back, it's over for all you hoes!"

----

With one eyebrow painted in bleach, and carefully holding a chemical-laden brush in one hand, you pause, expression contemplative as you frowned at yourself in the mirror you'd brought into your office for the stream.

"I don't know why people assume I don't think about my future," you mused, expression as serious as you can muster, "I think about Dream all the time-"

"People assume you don't think about your future because you're an idiot," Quackity supplies, equally as deadpan, holding the bowl of bleach in one hand, though most of his focus on your chat speeding along.

You don't even seem to register what he'd said. Or, if you do, you don't seem bothered by it. After a moment, as you carefully smear the bleach on your other eyebrow, you turn, and Quackity finally looks to you, doing an incredible job of not laughing, at least until you start speaking.

"Do people really bleach their assholes? This burns on my eyebrows, I wouldn't want it anywhere near my-"

"Pretty sure they don't put hair bleach on assholes - no," he says very seriously, seeing the glint of mischief and intrigue in your eyes, barely containing his laughter, muttering, "why am I the reasonable one here, what kind of opposite day bullshit -"

"I just wanna see what all the fuss is about!"

"They don't put hair bleach on assholes to bleach them!"

"How do you know so much about asshole bleaching?!"

"Sometimes I really question Dream's tastes -"

"Don't deflect the question, Alex!" You shout through your laughter, "and don't be fucking rude!"

"You invited me here, it's like you don't even know me," he snorted, "I swear you used to seem smarter than me," he mused, squinting at you, though his tone was still light and obviously teasing. For your part, you grinned toothily at him, taking none of his insults to heart.

"That's on you, dork, do less lawyer activities," you teased fondly, to which he rolled his eyes.

"Is that your way of asking me to help bleach your asshole?"

"No..." you thought about it for a moment, really considered, "yes? No. Maybe?" You looked to your monitor as he found himself doubled over with laughter, "sub goal? What do we think, chat?"

And you and Quackity chat back and forth for a while, figuring out what number could conceivably be realistic, given that the time limit was the remainder of the stream, granted the two of you hadn't been online long and had intended this to be something of a half-day stream, with VC cameos from your various friends.

"- okay, so if we reach that before eleven, we'll spend the last hour before midnight..." you took a deep breath, scrunching up your whole face while Quackity wore a shit-eating grin, "bleaching my asshole," you sighed, like you can't quite believe you'd agreed.

"I know your viewers are dedicated, but are they that dedicated?" Quackity asked, eyes shining with mirth at your apparent regret.

And you go back to your mirror, and the task at hand.

Less than a minute later, an audio cue goes off on your stream, letting you know someone had donated some gift subs. You sighed.

"It begins," you muttered with a thin smile, squinting at yourself in the mirror, carefully wiping the bleach off of your first eyebrow with a damp cloth, as Quackity reads out -

"Thank you, Dream -" and is immediately incapacitated with laughter, as upon hearing your husband's screen name, you knew it could not mean good things. As if on cue, Dream's voice comes through the office door.

"Okay, okay, in my defence -" he's laughing too, while you're incoherently screeching, reading where he'd just gifted enough subs to reach your goal within a minute of you updating it, "in my defence it's the funniest sub goal you've ever offered."

The next few minutes are simply Quackity only half in frame, past the point of audible laughter, while you've opened the door, and everyone can hear Dream trying and failing to hold in his laughter.

"My love, my darling, apple of my eye, enchilada of my bosom -" you say with the utmost seriousness from off-screen. Only Quackity can see how you're holding Dream's face with both hands, trying desperately to keep your composure.

"Come on, tell me you wouldn't have done the exact same thing," Dream tries to match your tone, but you push on regardless.

"Love of my life, I'm begging to know why you're so insistent that our beloved friend Quackity gets acquainted with my asshole in a way that -"

"I hate this!" Quackity's practically choking on his laughter as he interrupts you, unbridled glee written all over his face, "this is fucking awful, holy shit! This is the worst idea I've ever been a part of -!"

"It's not like you're showing your asshole on camera, it's more that everyone's gonna know and I assume hear you bleaching your asshole with hair bleach," Dream's clearly delighted by this whole series of events, and even Sapnap can be heard laughing in another room, finally figuring out what's happened.

After a moment, you stalked back to your computer and muted the stream, head out of frame. Apparently you say something controversial, however, as Quackity's whole expression shifts to something wide-eyed, mouth falling open in surprise as you head back to the door, and to Dream, with the stream on mute. Everyone sees his mouth move in a distinctly 'wait, what?!' movement.

What the stream doesn't hear is you cackling as you fondly tell Dream he's an idiot, knowing him well enough that you had anticipated his response;

"Yeah, but I'm your idiot! Forever, baby!" Gleefully sticking out his hand to show off his wedding ring, hence Q's surprise. Both you and Dream confirm that it's not a bit, but that it's not public knowledge, and he takes a moment to absorb that information before nodding and grinning at you both, admitting that he's not as surprised as he thought he'd be.

When you unmute your stream, the first thing that Quackity does is raise his voice to ask Sapnap if it's always like this, living with you and Dream. Sapnap says yes, in no uncertain terms, but his voice holds nothing but affection.

"Okay, Q, I can do this on my own, and you can just... I don't know, stay on stream, behind a partition or something, I'm not going to force you to help me," you snort, "bleach my asshole, but -"

"What am I gonna do? Back out? I'm not a bitch; if you're in, I'm in."

And you, with one bleached eyebrow, egged on in your impulsivity by your husband, your chat, and Quackity himself, find yourself almost painfully grateful for the people you surround yourself with, who despite everything, seem to get you in a way that not a lot of people in the past have.

----

Considering how inconsistent both yours and Dream's sleep schedules are, if either of you has editing or some other quiet work to do, it's easy enough to tune it out and fall asleep to if either of you is working on the computer in your room. If Dream wants to stream, however, or record some kind of voice-related audio, he tends to move into the office as to not wake you up. It's a curtesy that you're grateful for, however you hadn't anticipated that it would generate some of the sweetest audio clips of the pair of you that would end up circling Twitter and Tumblr.

After a night of work, you crash into bed with Dream in the early hours of the morning. When the next day arrives, and with it a planned group stream, Dream logs on at the given time and tells the group that you'd been up all night working, and you're easily forgiven.

An hour into the stream, the door to the office opens, and Dream's focus is pulled from the game.

"Morning, baby," his voice is warm, almost syrupy, close to the affectionate way he'd sometimes been heard to talk to Patches, however, you yawn. You don't even give a proper greeting, pulling up the second seat close to him and resting your head on his shoulder.

"I'm here, I'm here, I'm sorry I'm late," you mumble sleepily, and you hear the faint greetings through Dream's headphones. You tuck your arm into his.

"We're playing Jackbox," he says, and you let your gaze drift across the screen lazily.

"You winning?"

"He wishes!" You hear someone in his headphones, and you grin as Dream laughs.

"You just gotta talk about your dick, or kissin' George -" you're pretty sure you hear someone in his headphone boo at your suggestion, and you're also pretty sure it's Quackity.

"That's how I win?" Dream teases you, voice still sweet and warm, a little muffled where he's pressing a quick kiss to the top of your head.

"Tha's how you win," you yawn again. Both you and Dream know that you're almost definitely going to fall asleep on his shoulder as he plays. You're pretty sure there's no place you'd rather be.

----

"Dream, fuck off, I'm trying to take myself seriously," you laughed, waiting for the other SMP members to log on and join you for the stream.

"You're so cute though, are you in costume?" Dream, leaning in your doorway, is grinning at you, while you've got your eyes closed, fighting back your own smile.

"I'm doing serious lore things," you crack one eye open to look at him, still trying to keep up the illusion of seriousness, "I helped Q with some cool stuff for his stream, but I'm not half as organised, so I- yeah, I'm in costume," you looked down at your mafia-esque outfit that resembled your current in-game skin.

"Okay, I love you," he says warmly, and obligingly closes the door to the study, while you sit, a little flustered from his attention, waiting. Chat was calling you cute again. You'd let them, for now.

You tried to just chatter away, and keep in mind everything that you and Quackity and Sam had discussed over the past few days, about what this stream would entail. You couldn't lie, you were excited for some of the things you'd been working on for your character to finally come to fruition.

And something about defying your audience's expectations was thrilling.

"- after everything we've been through, why can't you just listen to me, and- and- and understand that I was made Warden for a reason," Sam, who was your older brother in-canon, was yet again attempting to thwart your prison break in attempt.

"After everything we've been through?!" You spat back, but his voice rose over yours.

"I was your Warden first!" He shouted, and your mouth snapped shut at this, your character's fury radiating white-hot from you, "I kept you safe, I loved you, I never gave you reason to doubt me -"

"You weren't my Warden, you were my brother, Sam!" You shouted, trembling your lip, "like every fucking kid comes to understand their parents are flawed, I came to see the same of you; you are not infallible, you were not appointed my guardian - not my Warden - by committee, you were given that position by process of fucking elimination -"

"Don't you dare-" he snarled, but you cut him off.

"Elimination of our parents! Our parents! You were not given a choice, and I get that, okay? And I loved you for who you were, but I'm not a child, and I am not your responsibility anymore -"

"You will always be my responsibility, Y/N -"

"You don't respect me!"

"You don't respect me!" He hollered, "I raised you!"

"You made me what I am," teeth gritted, you straighten in your chair, flicking through your hotbar to begin drinking potions in-game as you spoke, "I'm just glad you never passed on your delusions of adequacy -!" And you attack him; he blocks.

"Why throw your life away for Dream?" Sam tried one last attempt at getting you to see reason, but you'd known this about your character since you'd gotten serious about the roleplay aspect of the SMP.

"Because you didn't have a choice about putting up with me," you told Sam sweetly, "and he did; cry all you want about how you raised me, but I was never a burden to him."

"I won't fight you."

"Then you'll die by my hand," you tell him, and again, you swing your sword at him -

"Could you really live with yourself?"

"I really could; can you?" Your smile is cold.

And you kill him.

Through your closed office door, where you're pretty sure your husband is watching the stream in your room, or on his phone, you hear Dream's 'oh shit!' as the stream, lagging a few moments behind, catches up.

Your heartbeat is thundering in your ears. Sam leaves the VC, and Quackity joins, asks what the fuck just happened. You're picking up Sam's things. Your whole body has been full of tension for the entirety of the stream, and there's a tension headache forming at your temples but you power on.

There's still another reveal, another betrayal, of Quackity against your character, finally admitting to visiting the prison to torture Dream for the revival information, at which point, tense and overwhelmed, tears genuinely begin to form in your eyes. Your character wants to find Foolish, who you've come to trust, or Wilbur, who's been recently revived and seems to have positive feelings towards Dream, but neither of them are online.

"Q, if you get in my way, I'll kill you too," your bottom lip is trembling.

"You're my friend, and I don't want to hurt you," Quackity says, voice heavy and serious.

"Then don't get in my way," you take a deep, shaky breath, finger hovering over the escape key, "because my brother wasn't special enough for me to spare, so don't delude yourself into thinking you would be."

Before you can even hear his response, you exit the server, and end your stream, before muting yourself in the VC, and collapse onto your keyboard, shaking and emotionally depleted. In your earphones, you can still hear Q going off to himself and his chat.

There's a soft knock at your office door, and Dream and Sapnap both let themselves in.

"Dude, holy shit," Sapnap says faintly, and you feel the adrenaline finally mixing with some relief and excitement.

"I'm ordering so much food tonight, just all of it, a buffet," you announce, face still resting against your arms on your desk as a few tired tears dampen your sleeves, "I forgot how much that takes out of me."

Raising your head, you quickly type out a grateful message to both Sam and Quackity, before finally turning away, to see Sapnap and Dream in the door, both looking at you with fondness in their eyes. When you stand, walking to them, they both wrap you up in a tight hug. The three of you, for just a moment, find stillness and serenity here; love from your best friends is exactly what you needed right now.

Later that night, where only the moon can bare witness, Dream will trace abstract shapes on your bare back, and will tell you he loves you for all that you are, and all that you're capable of.

"All this over a Minecraft roleplay?" You'll give a contented, almost dreamy smile, and he'll huff a soft laugh.

"I've loved you for long enough that you think I'd never be surprised by you, but I am."

"Good surprised?"

"Always."

----

I Lost Dream Privileges & Want Company is the name of your stream when you go live, sulking in Sapnap's room where you'd commandeered his setup in the middle of the afternoon.

"I've been banished from my office because Dream needs to take some photos," you sighed deeply, "and having me around is apparently "counter productive"?" You scoff, using derisive air quotes, "Why? I'm not allowed to tell you, chat, I'd be banned from twitch - wait!" You announced with delight as your eyes lit up.

Suddenly you're a rush of movement and excitement as you scramble around the room, and then burst from the office and around the rest of the apartment.

"Two can play at this game, chat," there's something wild and determined in your eyes as you slam back into your chair with determination, "two can play at this game!" You hiss with excitement, tapping excitedly on your desk.

"Okay, I'm going to film thirst traps, but I need to get ready to film thirst traps, so feel free to ask me questions, and send me audios on TikTok that you recommend; I'll answer the questions while I- where's... where's my eyeliner?" You look over the bundle of clothes and accessories you'd collected and brought in, trying to find it, "everyone looks good in eyeliner, chat, trust me."

And you cherry picked the questions you responded to, though sometimes you decided to humour a few of the more risqué comments; it was the least you could do considering the content you were planning to make that afternoon.

"No, I don't have a maid outfit," you mused when someone asked, "not because I'm opposed to maid outfits, I just literally don't have one," as you're fiddling with the hem of your shirt, your gaze flicks to your chat, "yeah, I have the cat ears somewhere -" eyes going wide, you leapt from your chair, "you're right chat, you're right! I'll be right back!"

By the time you get back, chat has decided to set it's collective sights on a new line of questioning, and you roll your eyes as you secure the ears onto your head.

"Dream isn't my sugar daddy, so no, he hasn't bought me..." you trailed off as you frowned at chat, giving their point some serious thought, "I mean it wouldn't hurt to ask; we both know I could just buy it myself, I can just... you know I can ask..." You go to leave for a moment, but then lean into the camera for effect, "he's not my sugar daddy, chat, don't make this weird." But you're grinning.

You leave your mic on as you head down the hall to the office, leaving Sapnap's door open and making sure both your knock and voice were loud. The stream can hear the door open, and then promptly close before anything's said. Then, Sapnap, muffled.

"I'll sabotage your dick, lemme talk to Dream!" Your response is what chat hears first, followed by quiet, indistinct squabbling between yourself and Sapnap, and the faintest laughter from Dream himself.

"Sit your ass down and finish your stream," Sapnap's marching you back into his room, back to your stream. He bends to cast a disapproving look to the camera, before straightening up and out of frame again.

"I need to know now though," you argued back, swivelling back and forth in his desk chair.

"They're accusing Dream of being my sugar daddy," you then point out, for reasons that appear to evade and confuse your housemate. Dream, now apparently in the hall, laughs louder.

"We don't pay rent," Sapnap reminds you, "they're not wrong."

"Okay, yeah," you concede, "he's our sugar daddy in the communist sense -" Sapnap moves off camera, and chat hears the bedroom door close firmly, but you still appear to be looking at him off camera. Dream, outside the closed door, protests faintly.

"Lemme see Dream all dressed up," you whined, clasping your hands together.

"As if I trust either of you!" Sapnap laughs, which has you momentarily preening at the roundabout compliment, before giving a loud, put-upon sigh, asking if you could at least ask him one question, "sure, through the door."

"Dick," you snipe at him, before raising your voice, "babe would you buy me a maid outfit?"

"Yeah, done, obviously," Dream calls back, barely waiting for you to finish your own sentence before he's agreeing, and Sapnap wheezes a laugh while you turn back to your stream, grinning and all kinds of pleased.

"That's all I wanted to know, thank you!" You smile over your shoulder at Sapnap, who sounded exasperated. The moment he opens the door, however, your gaze snaps to it -

"You look so good! What?!" Dream crows, and your entire face lights up with glee as you see him, "babe, what?!" While Sapnap groans and jokes that he's hourly.

"Sap, no come on," you stand, "babe, come back here, come on -"

"I'm sick of having the only braincell in this house," Sapnap announces, and closes the door.

Slowly, you sink back down into the desk chair, expression a little dazed and delighted. Turning back to your confused chat, you're quiet for a few more moments still, grinning from ear to ear, looking a little starry-eyed.

"Not to rub salt in the wound and remind everyone that I know what Faceless Minecraft YouTuber DreamWasTaken looks like," your smile somehow grows even wider as you sit back, almost giggling to yourself, "but he's so hot; guys," you sighed almost dreamily, "he's so hot, what the fuck?" As if you weren't live looking like a whole damn meal yourself. Predictably, your chat, and also every single social media platform you're on, goes wild with these moments, and your subsequent thirst trap videos.

[screaming crying throwing up about dream and y/n what the FUCK /pos] appeared to be the general consensus, including the moments of mostly dead air where you'd filmed the start of a TikTok to a Cardi B audio, and everyone practically saw the lightbulb go off above your head. Like lightning you're on your feet and wrenching the door open, skittering down the hall.

"This is for content, I promise! Let me in!" You announced with glee, before asking Sapnap to film yourself and Dream for the second half of your video, promising to get out of their hair after. Sapnap must have obliged you, however, as you stroll back in with the full audio playing, and you watching with adoration. Looking to your stream, you grinned from ear to ear.

"That one I have to hold on to," you say slyly, "but I'm already excited to post it." you pause for a moment, smile growing wider, "I don't think I have any content where you can physically see Dream and me together -"

[bestie i think i'd explode if i saw you and dream together] a dono was read out, and you started to practically cackle with glee confirming that that may have been your intention. This clip is taken and posted onto Twitter, blowing up with the caption;

Glad to see Y/N and Dream have gone from bullying each other to making themselves everyone else's problem.

And a month later, when Dream's photos from the Change My Clothes album shoot become public, you're both a simp and feral on main for your husband in a suit, before you get the go-ahead to post the thirst trap of the two of you.

Predictably, with you in your thirst trap outfit, and Dream in his suit and mask, side by side, his arm around you and hand low on your hip, it has waves of followers foaming at the mouth. Finally, video proof of your proximity, of your relationship. It's fifteen seconds but its everything to your fans, and quietly, to you.

@sapnap: i asked @yourtwitter how many times they'd watched their video and they said 'like 83 shut up dream's hot that's not my fault' ....... thought this honeymoon phase would have ended this is sickening

@yourtwitter: ..... do u want a smooch, buddy? come to the kitchen 4 smooch

@dream: 😘😘😘

"Last time I was in LA I was on my honeymoon," at the end of November, you finally decide to humour your Californian friends and go to visit them, on your own this time. There's an influx of content creators in LA at the time, and beside you on the balcony, Wilbur chokes on his drink.

"You what?" He splutters, and you're apologising, trying to offer a packet of tissues, though most of the drink didn't end up on Wilbur himself. Once you were sure he was alright, you took a deep breath, fully realising what you'd said; before leaving, you'd had this same conversation with Dream, and you were both okay with your friends knowing, since Quackity had known for months now.

"Yeah," you laughed a little, "I just remember because I've got a photo from then on a balcony like this," you raise your hand. There, in gold, your wedding band, subtle and unassuming.

"You're not joking right now, are you?" Wilbur asks, repositioning his glasses and leaning in to take a closer look at your ring. You're not quite sure how to respond to that in a way that he'd believe. However, it appears that he's convinced enough by the ring, because when he looks back to you, he's beaming.

"You really went and married Dream and kept it quiet for- for how long?" There's something proud and genuine in his voice, and you grin in response.

"Like seven months," that appears to come as a shock, however, and you can't help but laugh with delight, finally able to admit it, "and I know everyone thinks it was too soon, but I've... I've really never been more sure of a decision in my life, and -"

"Haven't you two been together for years?" Wilbur frowns a little, and you go quiet, expression twisting.

"Not... technically?" And despite how hard it is to explain, you're glad that Wilbur seems to understand. He takes another sip of his drink and leans back against the railing, asking if he's allowed to call Dream your lover still.

"God, absolutely not, even I hate that."

"Is househusband better?" And it's almost as bad, but in a strange way, it makes you light up with joy.

"The moment the rest of the world knows, you have my blessing," you tell him, delighted llaughter ringing from you, "you may not have Dream's, but you have mine."

----

The world finds out during MCC All Stars.

The four of you that make up the internet-dubbed Dream Team are finally together; in order to balance teams, the four of you have never been in more than duos together on separate teams, so there's a warm familiarity to be competing together.

Still, as a player, you're underestimated in the predictions, your strength as a player, especially in PVP, and consistent high ranking often overlooked due to your exuberant personality, but you couldn't bring yourself to care.

There boys were your best friends, you were married to one of them, if there was ever a group you could focus for, and fight for, it was the Dream Team.

You helped devise plans, and followed plans and orders with ease. You came third overall in Battle Box despite your team losing focus, and placed in the Top Five for both Skybattle, and Parkour Tag, coming 7th overall, while you and your boys championed your way through the games to Dodgebolt.

The second to last, however, had been Sands of Time, and Dream had kept the team focused and on task as the Sand Keeper. As the game came to an end, and your team was cheering at winning the game by what felt by a landslide, you couldn't help yourself;

"This is why I married you!" You laughed loud and bright.

"Knew there was a reason," George teased.

"Best fuckin' Sand Keeper right here," Dream crowed with confidence, "Sand Keeper, I'm a keeper; they nailed it!"

"You guys are so stupid," Sapnap's grin was loud and clear, pride bright in his voice as the cheering moved on and you all moved on for the final game. As you did, however, you chanced a look to your chat, and it hit you what you'd just said... to seventy thousand people. Twitter was going to be a nightmare.

[so everyone knows now] Dream sends, and you reply with an apology. He tells you that you don't need to apologise, he's just glad he doesn't have to hide it anymore. If you weren't seconds away from the last game before Dodgebolt, you would have marched into his room and kissed him until he was damn well breathless.

After TGTTOSAWAMCCPWHNWAEY finishes and the results are in, messages in-game begin to pop up as you assume viewers are spreading the word.

As you all waited for Dodgebolt, you pick up the ring that had been sitting just off to the side of your keyboard, putting it on your finger and grinning, listening as the boys are all joking and laughing at the others' confusion about you and Dream. They hear you typing, and ask, with mild trepidation, what you're going to send, but you don't tell them until you press enter.

[to all my dear wonderful fellow mcc as players who may have heard the news]

[no i did not come first individually]

[but my husband did]

Though the audible aside you add is heard only by your teammates who are wheezing with laughter, as you do your best impression of the John Mulaney sketch moment as you explain that 'now I've thrown them off their rhythm' regarding the team you'll be facing. If it does anything, it incites your team's laughter further, and fuels your own. A dono flashes up on screen that only knocks the wind out of you further.

[you really do wanna fuck each other so bad it makes you look stupid]

"Do either of you think before you do any of the impulsive things you do?" George asks, though where words like that would usually be said with malice, at worst, in your friend's voice, there is only fond exasperation.

"If we thought about half the impulsive things we did, we wouldn't be here," Dream points out.

"There's no way I'd be half as happy," you added, and Dream audibly awed at that, calling you adorable.

"You guys are so lucky I'm happy to see you both happy; you're so sickeningly cute some times," Sapnap groans, and you resist the urge to go and wrap him up in a hug, and you tell him as much.

"Listen, let's win Dodgebolt, and then you can give all the hugs you want."

"Buddy, you get the one, then I'm going to bother Dream until he pays me attention -"

"You really are worse than Patches sometimes," Dream says fondly, before adding, "but we did get together while you were wearing cat ears, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised -"

"Hey!" You laugh, before conceding, "I can't believe you remember that," it's strangely touching, and now you have almost a hundred thousand people in your chat crying over the reveal and the cuteness.

In the few seconds before the game begins, a dono from Dream flashes up on screen. He tells you he loves you, for the whole world to see.

"Love you too, green boy," you murmur with sincerity, even when you know both George and Sapnap will playfully protest.

Because you know it'll make Dream smile.

#dream #dreamwastaken #dream imagine #dream x reader #dreamwastaken imagine #dreamwastaken x reader #mcyt x reader #mcyt imagine #cyltlanp #idiots to lovers #Spotify

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that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick · 3 years ago

Text

Me, at 6am, having stayed up all night writing 5k words: I never want to write again. Or at least not for a couple weeks.

Also me: OMGOSH THIS SONG WOULD BE SO GREAT FOR A PREQUEL FIC

Still me: ಠ∀ಠ

So yeah, I've been simmering this idea for a month or two now. It can be read as a standalone, but is meant as a prequel to my other fic, Blind Trust. The song is Waste It on Me by Steve Aoki ft. BTS and you should totally give it a listen!

Hurt/comfort, 1.1k words

Moving Saeran into the bunker was a deceptively difficult task. Mostly because he had limited possessions, clothes that wouldn't even fill a backpack, and, to top it all off, no bed to sleep in. So, the twins left to go shopping for necessities, leaving Vanderwood and MC to deal with the chaos of the bunker. They tackled various tasks to attempt to clean up the place as best they could, but eventually, there was only so much more that could be done without the items from the shopping trip. Naturally, then, the only thing to do was steal Saeyoung's snacks and collapse on his couch. After munching for a few minutes, Vanderwood broke the silence.

"I've got to ask. How on earth did you deal with all of the insanity—Saeran, the crazy woman, that blue-haired man, even Sev-Saeyoung—without losing your mind entirely?"

MC's face forced itself into a small smile. "Let's just say I have experience dealing with dysfunctional people."

Vanderwood hummed. "I won't ask unless you want to tell me."

She sighed. "It's not like it's not all in the past now. It's just not fun to talk about too much. Long story short, I've had one too many bad exes. One was a liar and a cheater. Another seemed nice until you realized he was a manipulative little snake—actually, that's an insult to snakes. Another expected me to just give up all my career plans to be his good little housewife. You get the idea. So yeah, I figure dealing with the dysfunctional is just a part of my life now, and I haven't dated for a while for good reason. At this point, trying to find 'love', whatever that means, is just a waste of my time."

"Well, first of all, I don't know how no decent men have seen your strength of character or your kindness despite the absolute trainwreck your circumstances seem to keep being."

MC snorted, but Vanderwood held up a finger before she could open her mouth. "Second of all, I know I'm the last person you should ask about love, but I do know this. Real love isn't like that. I hate to use Saeyoung as any sort of example, but I'm going to anyway. He may not have gotten much right, but joining the agency to keep Saeran safe was the real stuff, even if it didn't go as planned. Sacrifice just so that the other could live a better life, finding each other again under absurd circumstances, learning enough about each other to be able to come to a truce, finding ways to compromise. It may not be the same kind of love, but that's what love is, MC. Each giving all for the good of the other."

"Wow," MC finally managed to get out. "I guess it's been a while since that sort of thing even occurred to me. But it's not like it matters anyway, since I'm not likely to find anyone who's even decent to me, much less has that kind of mindset. So like I said, it's just a waste of time."

Vanderwood growled in frustration. "Why is it so hard for you to believe that you deserve good things and that those things aren't unrealistic?" He ran a hand through his hair. "Why do you think it's such a waste of your time if you know what you want and what you don't want and if it could make you happy?"

"Because I've lived over a quarter of a century and not seen it once, Vanderwood!" Her voice broke. "Not once."

He gritted his teeth. "Fine then, MC. Fine. If love is nothing more than just a waste of your time, why not waste it on me?"

His jaw dropped at the realization of the words that had just fallen from his lips. MC's eyes widened.

"Uh—I mean—"

"I don't know what to say. I've just...been single for so long that I don't even know what it feels like to have feelings for someone anymore. But I mean, you're attractive and all that. And quite honestly, you reminded me today of what love even looks like. So I think that's a good place to start."

"I...don't even know how to respond to that. I didn't even plan to ask you out today, much less expect that I'd get a positive response. I have to warn you, though, we won't be on even ground." MC groaned, but Vanderwood continued, "We won't be on even ground because you hadn't even considered dating me until today, whilst I couldn't shake my admiration for you since the moment you first opened your mouth. Believe me, I wanted to. But I couldn't ignore the grace and strength with which you handled the insanity involved in dismantling Mint Eye and the agency, one right after the other. It also didn't help that you were absolutely beautiful, either."

"Vanderwood, you know I can't promise anything serious. I'm willing to try, but you know my history. I have too many trust issues to be able to commit to anyone anytime soon."

"Well, I think that's something that I can match you pretty evenly in. I've been taught never to trust anybody. If I did, I could be a major liability to a mission. Because of this, if you'll excuse the invasion of privacy, I had Saeyoung scour your background in every way I could think of, because there was no way you were as good as you seemed. Yet, you came back clean. Absolutely normal. So while I know it's something I'm going to have to consciously work on, I'm willing to trust you as a person and trust your judgement. You can take whatever time you need, and I will put no pressure on you to commit to anything. But," he looked her in the eye, "don't think for a second that I'll treat you with any less respect and care than you deserve just because you can't promise commitment yet. Do you understand?"

MC's eyes welled up in spite of herself. "Yeah," she sniffed. "I'm. I'm just not used to this, you know? But I won't try to be flaky with you just because we're starting out with a casual relationship, either. I hope you understand where I'm coming from."

He pursed his lips. "I may not understand firsthand what you've gone through, but I've dealt with a lot of seedy men over my career, and I know what they're like. I also know that simply saying I won't be like them won't convince you, but I will do my utmost to prove it to you through my actions."

"Okay."

"Waste it on me?"

She smiled. "Yeah."

#my fic #my writing #mystic messenger #mysme #mysme fic #mysme vanderwood #vanderwood x mc

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marshmallowprotection · 4 years ago

Text

Kait Reacts To The AE 8/?

Hi! These reactions are written out every time a Chatroom opens and it’s done over the course of the day. So, you’re watching me react in real time as it is for me. So, Spoilers AHOY. Expect Another post like this later today, there is just too many chats to put it all in one post. So, hey, if you click this, you’re opening yourself to spoilers, you make the choice.

[11:11]

Well, I knew it was coming but I didn’t want it to be coming. Rika comes into the chatroom and lets us know very clearly once more that nothing can change and that we need to accept that. She said that Prime Minister is coming tomorrow in preparation for... he expects to make sure the boys don’t fight him. I’m not really sure what he wants apart from that and I don’t want to. My worst fear is murder but clearly, he is going to use them as puppets and keep them holed away like Rika’s toys. It’s like we’re living in her godforsaken dollhouse.

She notes that Saeyoung isn’t trouble. He’s drugged. Saeran... she points out that he ran once, he may run again. She and V are clearly suspicious of what he is doing since he came with nothing, and both note to me that maybe it’s just their nerves and he’s really given up because he knows “there’s no other way to get through this.”

It’s not much to note. I’m just annoyed. I don’t want to even expend the energy on her or V anymore. I’m checked out with them and I’m not even bothering. It just isn’t worth my energy. I’m never forgiving them. I’ve already made my mind pretty clear on that subject. I just cannot. And, trust me, it’s about to get a whole lot worse. She and Saeran are back from the Agents and the Visual Novel is about to start.

And let me tell you that I nearly dropped my phone when this happened. I could feel myself already suffocated to see this. If I thought that I was hurting when we saw what happened to Saeyoung, I don’t know, this is a million times worse or at the very least, on the same fucking level of unsettling me to my very core. Well, it’s this moment that I know that I’m clenching my fists at my sides and using all my strength not to lash out at Rika. I don’t know how I would handle this. I don’t know. I don’t know how I would keep my level head that I normally have when I have to confront these traumatizing things.

I think in the end, I’d just cry because I can’t do anything.

Yes, Rika straight-up tied him up by the ankles. Yes, he is lost is a in triggered daze. Yes, I’m fucking upset. She tells him that he should get used to this for the time being but she’ll let him go when things are “perfect and she’s sure that he will behave.” She leaves.

I can gently nudge him and he snaps from his stupor as quickly as I can and he snaps out of it only to breathe a sigh of relief because we’re there with him and he can find solace in that fact. I know that we’re about to have a really serious talk but I’m trying not to fixate on the abuse of him at Rika’s hands.

He’s relieved. I’m momentarily relieved. He says that he’s able to feel calm in spite of this storm because of this. He’s just so happy to see us again. He’s still bothered by what he has gone through, but he does look a lot more at ease with the unease in his heart. At least, I know that he’s okay. He’s not suffocating by what I feared that he was, but I think I’m more upset about it than he is. He admits that his mother used to do this to you, and I know he’s mentioned it before during his route but... seeing it is....

A lot different than hearing about it. And that’s when he drops the biggest fucking fear I’ve had into my lap.

He hates this. But, he feels like he has to do this. He is going to... sorry, I’m still. I’m still crying right now it’s really hard to type. He said that he can’t get out of this, and that he wants to get Saeyoung out of here so at least he can be free and that we can continue living on. I don’t want that, but you can’t reason with him, we’re both crying. He wants us to hear out the plan because... this is what he wants to happen because he doesn’t see another option.

These brothers are going to be the death of because with how selfless they are. I can’t even really call them out about it. I would sacrifice myself just as quickly. I guess we’re all stubborn and have that in common. Saeran explains that Vanderwood helped him escape, and that they went back to Jumin. Jumin took members of the former intelligence team and formed his own group in a single fucking day with Jaehee at his side. Jumin is the one that told Zen to lie and make sure that nobody would know about this. Vanderwood and Saeran got into the agency but—

Saeran only had time to hack half of it.

His plan is that Saeyoung, once freed, should be able to finish it and be free from his chains. I... sorry. Everyone is awake with the RFA now. Jumin is still risking it all for us. Everyone is risking so much for Saeran, Saeyoung, and me, and I just... I’m sorry.

I don’t want to leave him. I tell him but... he’s resolute. He say that once Saeyoung is able to take down the agency, Saejoong will lose his power and they will be able to do whatever they can to right the wrongs committed against the RFA. I’m literally bawling at this point, and I’m asking him what is going to happen to him when we leave him behind because—

Rika, V, and everyone else that is against us are going to destroy him once we get out of here. They’re going to hurt him. They’re going to—

I can’t. I can’t. I can’t I can’t do this.

Saeran, please.

Who had “Send Kaitlyn in a fucking bawling mess because he said what he said during V Route when Ray blew up the fucking building because he felt like his life was worth nothing anymore but he couldn’t fucking leave without telling us that his love for us would never die,” on their fucking bingo card because you jus won the game.

I cannot express into words upset I am. This was beautifully written but I don’t want to leave him. I had to stifle my own sobs because it’s so early in the day and I didn’t want to wake up anyone and say that my fictional boyfriend just did this to me. There’s so much that I want to say about this but... I can’t. I’m just so in a state of being overwhelmed. I wasn’t okay after V Route. I sat there for a long time after that happened. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. I can’t right now either. I love this man so much, I hope he knows that.

Please, this isn’t the end of you.

Please.

There’s a call with Zen after this. They knew. They fucking knew what he was going to do but they didn’t tell me. They’re expecting me. Zen tried to cheer me up and say that we’re going to save him, he knows that Saeran means everything to us but he wants us to stay positive because fear only festers and gets worse as it grows. I called V after because I needed to hear what he had to say. Once again, he threatened me being “polite” about it. He said that he does not want me to get hurt but... It’s implied every fucking time.

I’m done with you, Jihyun.

He tries to force me to talk about everything but I bite my tongue and basically tell him to fuck off. I’m done. I’m so fucking done. I’m checked out and I cannot stand you. Burn if you want to burn, Jihyun, but I’m not going to let you burn Saeran and Saeyoung because you’ve given up on everything and turned your fucking back on everything.

[12:48]

So. Hey. This was a short one. Rika pointedly is back to her bullshit. She's just... trying to make him.think and agree with her that the past is in the past but it isn't. Just because Saeran was willing to say he doesn't hate someone doesn't mean that he is willing to forgive someone who has continued to hurt him time and time again in his life.

She's fully denying things and telling him to act like a child. She wants to live in willful ignorance of her own misdeeds and pretend her dollhouse life she's planning is going to be perfect for him... for Saeyoung. It's not. Saeran is actually doing this with a lot of grace and care. I know he's sad and resolute. I know. But, he's not going to crack here. He has resigned himself but he wants to enjoy the time that we do have together for as long as we can do so.

Saeran points out that she must feel lonely and hurt herself after what she's gone through and how things went at Mint Eye since it was taken down the minute she left with V. He's offering a small shred of sympathy but it ain't much, trust me. He's trying to distract Rika and V so a lot of this is him playing a part. He calls right after this one and we talk a little. We talk about how strong he has become and he thanks me for being there for him even though I remind him that he saved himself from hell. He notes I'm too humble, that we make each other strong.

He says that I'm an angel for being kind to him and sharing my love. He days our love is like a soft white light, pure, and easy to see. We talk about what Saeyoung may do when he leaves, but I end by saying that he'll be sad without him there. Saeran says sadness will pass. That it will be okay. He will send his love to me in my dreams time and time again. I'm having an aura migraine right now and I think I sparked it by getting so upset. Haha. I offer to check on Saeyoung, he heard something?

Rika and V are out shopping. Rika notes that she cannot stand how Saeran is acting. She doesn't at all want to deal with this... kindness? She wants him to be silent and do as he did when he was a child and nothing more. She literally wants to pretend that it's ten years ago. She is that deep into her selfish desires and she refuses to see anything but this. She darts off to grab fruits and we pause on V. I don't know what the hell is going on in this thick skull of his and at this point I am not even trying to gauge.

He knows he's wrong. I don't care what he thinks he's playing at anymore. He knows that he is a lot of ways in the wrong and buried his head into the sand again. At least you note that she will never change because she refuses to admit that she hurt other people. She would rather play house and pretend.

I hope you're happy with the outcome, V. No matter what you think you're doing, you're wrong here.

[14:07]

A lot happens here, honestly. This chatroom is spent with Saeran. It's a private log where he is repeating what he just said to us. That we will need to leave him and leave with Vanderwood and Saeyoung as soon as possible while he is distracting Rika and V. He doesn't know how he will do it but he's going to do it for as long as he can because he wants us to get far away before anyone can stop us. I point out that I don't want to leave and that Saeyoung, if awoken with the antidote, will not leave him behind. He says that we need to lie if we have to do it. He just needs us safe. He thinks this is the only way. I can't really argue with him, but. I'm clearly distraught and he knows it. He wants us to stay as close as we can to each other until the last moment we have.

He says that even if he suffers, he will feel okay when he thinks of me. He repeats what he said earlier and now I'm still upset. In this context, he says first and past love for himself. He isn't at all talking about us. I'll get to this, there's a call with Yoosung after this and he's having a crisis. He is shocked and upset. He says that the entire time he caught up to speed on the recorded work that they did, he saw Saeran so passionate and in love that he is envious. He wishes he could be loved like that because he isn't sure he's ready for love of that caliber yet. He says that it's so strong that it transcends anything and everything that he has. He is not selfish. He is selfless in the way that he loves.

And he's crying, I'm crying, we're both crying about this. He says to enjoy what time I have with him. Then, he asks if I know what is fueling him. I answer, the freedom of his brother. And, Yoosung sighs, "Your happiness is what he is putting first." Everything, all of this, Yoosung says that he is willing to die if it means I can live on happily.

But, I know I'll never truly be happy without him and we both just. Crack.

As far as the Visual novel goes, Rika leaves and then V gives us another kind gesture laden with threats. It's all about Rika. It's always about Rika. He warns Saeran that he better fake a mask for Rika because she could lash out. He wants this to be peaceful times ahead for Rika. He doesn't want more conflict but I say that he cannot bend Saeran to his will. Saeran agrees. He says that no one will bind him and he will not lose himself no matter what they do or say to him. His freedom was earned by his hands and nobody will rob him of that.

V says that he's decided to be trouble now, and Saeran says that V is clouded by an obsession to be an adult. I add that Rika is playing Peter Pan because she wants to live in a world of terrible falsehoods. V paused, "Do you think I can become an adult once things settle down, even though Rika cannot?"

No answer.

He realizes Saeran isn't budging. And he says he'll have to try another way.

Yoosung and Zen are together, and this is right before he called me crying. He's just so broken up about how unfair all of this. How they should be doing something and Zen agrees. Yoosung says that Saeran is going to die tonight if they can't do something and I know that he isn't wrong and it's my biggest fear. If they don't have the two of them and if they cannot control either of the twins, they'll just kill the two of them the second they get the chance. Zen isn't wrong to say that we shouldn't think about that but Yoosung is always right when it comes to this regard.

Zen sighs, noting that he's gotta watch himself because he's starting to sound like Jumin. He is the one that wanted to run to us the minute he woke up. I trust that. He's broken up too, and I just don't know what I'm going to do next. They say they need to think.

They need to figure something out before... his love for me will be gone and he'll never get to be truly free with Saeyoung because he'll be dead. I really hope not, Yoosung. This is my worst case scenario too.

You get a text message from V as well, after. He says you know, Caterpillars build a home with a hard wall. I say, they make it so they can spread their wings and be free. He responds, I wonder if Rika and I just made our shells harder. I don't know if he's having second thoughts but no matter what he does at this point I'm not going to forgive him. He committed to this and he did this. There's no denying it. Even if you try to make things right at this point I'm still never going to give you a chance. You just don't deserve it in my eyes. The Others May think differently but I really doubt it.

There's no mending your melted wings.

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writingwithcolor · 6 years ago

Note

I'm a POC who writes mainly white characters but after seeing all the "diversity" posts on this site I'm wondering if I may be subconsciously prejudiced and now I don't know what to do. I feel like I've been doing everything wrong and yet I don't want to change my stories/characters to suit everyone else while not liking them myself.

To Write (or not write) with Diversity

No one can force you to write inclusive stories. Inclusive meaning media that consists of marginalized people, because that is what diversity really is - including people who have always been right there, but have been purposefully left out and erased from the pages of books and scripts. Those who are, when finally represented, are overwhelmingly assigned small, unflattering, and / or stereotypical roles.

Pages like Writing With Color are an offering. Our presence here is for those who choose to write with diversity. We aim to make being inclusive easier because we all believe in the importance of it. But as much as we know how enriching diversity can be, we cannot convince you to do something you don’t necessarily believe in.

Don’t do it because you feel forced

As you mentioned, you’ve read the posts. You know the facts. The decision cannot be forced upon you. If anything, including diversity out of obligation alone could lead to bad representation. Forcing people to do things without motivation usually means it’ll lack effort, or be done with spite. Trust me when I say marginalized people don’t usually want to see themselves represented by someone who does not want them there. That unwelcome feeling shows. In short: Lack of representation hurts. Bad representation hurts worse.

I only ask that you have accountability.

Now that you’re aware that your works default to white, you have a choice to make. I think a lot of us grew up reading and writing very white stories - both as PoC and white people - but once you possess the knowledge that things can be different, your next step is a conscious one. You’re not on auto-pilot anymore when you make everyone white (and/or straight, able-bodied, etc). You know better now. Own up to your choices.

So ask yourself: why have I chosen to write without diversity?

I’m afraid to write People of Color.

Being uncomfortable writing People of Color is a big reason why people stick to writing white people, and only garnish their stories with PoC, if that. White people have long been the default, the everyman. White perspectives are “neutral” to approach. It’s daunting to go from feeling you can portray characters in whatever way you wish to suddenly having the weight of good versus harmful representation on your shoulders.

You don’t want backlash from getting it wrong. You also don’t want to be insensitive to groups. It’s easy to avoid writing them altogether, right? Sure.

Be aware, though:

You’re making a choice to exclude people out of fear.

Of course, new things are scary. But that’s okay! Courage is the ability to do things that frighten you. Face your fears. Will you shrink away from the challenge, or use it to your advantage?

Let the fear fuel you to do better and to know better. Your concerns about writing PoC can drive you to get the research right in order to best represent people. If your fear is leading to more effort into thoughtful creation, you’re putting it to good use.

Let me tell you right now - you will mess up.

Maybe in small ways, perhaps in a big way. But mistakes will not kick start the apocalypse. Ideally:

Do your research to avoid the most obvious and devastating mistakes from the jump.

Equip yourself with the right beta-reader and sensitivity readers to catch those things.

Even with errors, your story can be quite enjoyable for people who hardly see themselves represented. Yes, mistakes and all.

As a Black woman bookworm, if you write an exciting story about a Black girl on adventures and falling in love but mention a few questionable things about how she takes care of her hair…I will wince, but it won’t ruin the book for me. I’m willing to overlook some things, for the sake of my enjoyment, and let the author know how I felt about those parts in hopes they can improve.

Say you get something real important wrong. People call you out for it. I suggest you apologize, listen to their critiques, and do better. If possible, pull back the story and re-release when you’ve improved the piece. If that’s not an option, fix it in future works. Getting a finger wagged at you doesn’t mean lock up in fear and never write with diversity again. It means you improve.

Research PoC like you would on any topic:

For comparison’s sake, consider writing People of Color (or any group different from you) like writing other topics you’re unfamiliar with in-depth.

For example: You may know the basics on Medieval England. The knights, royalty, and so on. But i’m sure there’s a lot of misconceptions mixed in there from television or unreliable sources.

To write people from this perspective, you would do lots of additional research… right?

If someone mentioned how you messed up on some of the facts, you would take note and dig into it more for the future…right?

You might even have more experienced persons check your facts for accuracy beforehand to do the best job possible.

Approach researching PoC in the same way as other topics. There may not be hard facts on how to write an X character, but there are portrayals to avoid with explanations why, and roles people want to see themselves in.

I don’t like to be told what to write.

There’s this misconception that writing with diversity restricts creativity. I get it - there are things you’re being told not to do when writing certain groups. The lists of No’s can get dense. This reflects how poor representation has been for People of Color as there are a number of stereotypical portrayals folks are tired of seeing and has been detrimental to them.

Fiction simply reflects real life: People of Color being viewed through the lens of preconceived notions means being written on with those stereotypes in mind. It is a vicious cycle. Stereotypes are more than an annoyance - they can and do lead to real life consequences.

Being treated like a stereotype lowers our quality of life. Experiencing racism and daily microaggressions has a psychological effect - from insecurity, depression and PTSD - it is serious. (X)

Viewing People of Color by their stereotypes is what makes, say, a Black person who speaks with passion no matter what it’s about (and even if they’ve been wronged) too hostile and “Angry” to take seriously. If anything, they’re now a serious threat. And that’s dangerous for them.

Put yourself in the shoes of the overly typecast.

Think of a time someone misunderstood you. You had a bad day and acted grumpy. Well, being a grump defines who you are now. When asked, people describe you as crabby and humorless. Every new person you meet sees your every action through that lens.

Strangers tiptoe around you, as they can just tell you’re ill-tempered. Peers choose their words carefully, afraid of what might spark your wrath. Your children even inherit the title; teachers discipline them more and take other students’ word over theirs- your kids are snappy, difficult, and known to not play well with others, after all.

Wouldn’t that get old? Wouldn’t you feel it was unfair to be reduced to a label, and that you’re sick of being defined by it? Wouldn’t you have the desire to be seen for who you truly are, and can be? Perhaps you do get grumpy sometimes, which is just being human. You’re so much more than a grouch.

Stereotypes are not creative.

Writing outside of stereotypes open up so many more possibilities. How many times have we seen the Black Best Friend play out in media? You’re not being silenced when readers criticize your sassy sidekick. Your message has been heard, loud and clear - again and again and again. People are upset because it’s not anything new - in fact, it is quite old. We want multiple portrayals. Why not create something new before you decide to write so closely to how we are always written?

OP said: I don’t want to change my stories/characters to suit everyone else while not liking them myself.

This should not be the case. Avoiding stereotypes has nothing to do with making unlikeable or even perfect characters. Simply make Characters of Color who go beyond stereotypes! Characters who are best friends without being arc-less doormats. Characters who are fierce and emotional and stand for something without being simplified to irrational, hostile, and angry.

Knowing the difference between stereotype and culture is important, too. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re doing something wrong when their bias means they perceive your character as being stereotypical, or problematic, when they’re not. (See: Stereotyped vs Nuanced Characters and Audience Perception.)

If anything, writing beyond hard labels leads to complex characters. Writing about new cultures is interesting and can be exciting.

If you only like your East Asian characters when they’re geniuses or your Black girls when they’re angry without a cause…do some self-reflection. Why do your Characters of Color only seem “right” to you when they are flat, or confined to stereotypes? Why not allow them to be complex humans?

I’m not convinced that representation matters.

Well, representation does matter. A lot. While it has been written on so much, and there being countless studies, statistics, and personal accounts to support this, I would like to mention…

Representation (or lack thereof) lowers self-worth.

Studies show TV boosts the self-esteem of white boys. The confidence of People of Color and girls of all races, on the other hand, decreases when watching TV (X X).

“If you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves.” -Junot Diaz

The Racial Empathy Gap.

I want to be brief (too late, right?) so let me just mention another point of research for you: the racial empathy gap. Stereotyped depictions and the limited roles for People of Color are internalized by society, leading to lack of empathy towards People of Color and the enforcement of stereotypes in real time. Lack of empathy actively affects how PoC are treated, such as the belief that Black people experience less pain than others and therefore are misdiagnosed (their illnesses and pain are downplayed) and under treated (X X X).

Fiction Increases Empathy.

In addition to the racial empathy gap, look into the studies on how fiction improves empathy. For example: reading about vampires increases empathy towards vampires. Imagine what non-stereotyped, marginalized depictions in fiction can do for empathy. (X, X)

The strength in which people are against representation speaks volumes.

If representation does not matter, then why are some people so angry when it’s there? Let’s take book to movie depictions:

A Character of Color depicted as white simply means they were the best actor for the job, according to a vocal presence in social media.

However, even a verified Character of Color being depicted as such leads to boycotting, accusations of being “Politically-correct”, and wide complaints that they can’t relate to the characters and they are poor actors. Never mind that so many Actors of Color attend prestigious schools only to get so far.

The hypocrisy speaks to a need for more representation, and a prevalent lack of empathy.

The People Want Diversity!

On a positive note: shows that reflect the real world, aka include diversity, continue to get high ratings despite many obstacles: those who don’t want them there, lack of advertising or inconvenient airtime for shows with diverse leads, the ole bait-and-switch method, and hasty cancellations. Not to mention media simply refusing to be inclusive even when they know “diversity sells” (X X). Gee, I wonder why….

Audiences are more drawn to projects that feature a diverse cast, a new study finds, though mirroring the population in the United States remains a problem.

“Less-diverse product underperforms in the marketplace, and yet it still dominates,” said Ana-Christina Ramón, the report’s co-author and assistant director of the Bunche Center. “This makes no financial sense.”

-Diversity in Hollywood Pays Off in Ratings and Box Office, New Study Finds

Diversity simply reflects the real world accurately.

There is nothing forced about diversity. People of Color exist in the real world, go out and about, and have lives. Creators including marginalized people only seems strange because media actively scratches them out as much as possible, pulling the marginalized out of focus to zoom in on white characters. That is what’s unrealistic.

Ultimately, you, the writer, will write what you want. Just ask yourself why you have decided this is what you want to write. Are you okay with that reason? Despite all the progress that is being made, you’ll blend in just fine with all of the other mostly white books and movies out there. And as people become more conscious and bored with the same stories, we can and will choose to ignore whitewashed media.

The good thing is that there’s so much awareness and activism going on with representation; the path has been paved for you and it is not lonely!

There are resources out there, and WWC continues to be one of them.

More Reading - Diversity:

Braving Diversity: How to Write Yourself (and others) out of your Story (An early WWC post quite relevant to you, OP)

Diversity exists in the real world

The Key to Moving Beyond checklisting is not LESS diversity

Bad Representation vs Tokenism vs Diversity: just existing without justification like in the real world

How to research your racially/ethnically diverse characters

–Colette

#to-hurt-and-comfort #representation #diversity #representation matters #racism #people of color #poc #writing advice #creator responsibility #whitewashing #asks #long post #general

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discoveringmiraculousartist · 4 years ago

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Hi anon! I'm so sorry for taking so long to answer is that I haven't had much time, also...

I'm not sure I said anything about Lila so I don't know where the ask came from, I generally don't say my opinion about the characters and the ships in this blog so I can't imagine when I said something that made you send me this ask djkfgnfk And for the same reason of not sharing my opinions over here, I'm still not convinced to answer you hehe But more than that... Ch*rch? How do you know I'm C*ristian? Or did you just assume it? sorry, I was a little... impressed. I've heard that Thomas is not religious and that he says the show on that is neutral, so I'm going to put religion aside in my response hehe

That being said...

Lila is not just a brat, she's a bad person. Yes, it's true that she's 14 so I don't hold her responsible in the same way as other older characters on the show who are also bad people. But Lila has done some very serious things that can't just be "ignored" and there's no way to justify them even for how shameful her past might be.

As far as I can remember, only in Oni-chan they reveal a more fragile side of Lila: a busy and somewhat absent mother who could give rise to a whole history of difficult family life, and, moreover, her father has shown no sign of existence. If the show or a fan decides to develop this further to give us some insight into why Lila is the way she is, I have no doubt that we will be able to empathize with her.

But a difficult past would only give us insight into aspects of her character, make her more human, but under no circumstances would that be an excuse for her actions. Especially because in the same show we have a character like Adrien, he has her same age and he has a canon background that is very hard: her mom disappeared and her dad is a monster who only shows him coldness (along with everything else from his personal life that we all know). Just here he already has a big difference with how little we know about Lila's background because in Hero's Day shows her mom being very warm with her. Also, despite all his terrible background, he is nothing less than a ray of sunshine and one of the heroes of the story.

Another character with a complicated background is Chloe. With her, the show has shown that even though her family life can make us feel a lot of empathy for her and makes us understand why she behaves like that, as long as she doesn't regret it and take responsibility for her actions, she won't have a miraculous. Nothing justifies her actions in spite of all the empathy we may feel for her. That empathy makes us want her to redeem herself and grow. I personally really hope that they redeem her, but I know that her redemption cannot be just a: "I am bad" *poof* "I am good". The redemption starts once you understand what you have been doing is wrong, a realization that takes a lot of time. And from that realization, you take responsibility and work hard for improving that part of yourself... A process that has many ups and downs, it's not just lineal.

Lila is 14 yo! of course I believe she can be redeemed! but I’d perfectly understand if the show doesn't give her a redemption arc (what I think it's more likely to happen). Anyway, I think it would be great if a fan develops from those 5 seconds of canon a difficult personal history for Lila or invents something completely new. Personally, I am not very interested in developing it and this is the kind of thing I will only explore if it's canon, maaaaaaybe if I had the time I would but I don't even have it TwT

Also, with redemption, I don't just mean that she ends being friends with everyone like nothing happened. No matter how much empathy you feel for someone and how much you can forgive them, that doesn't mean you forget everything that happened. To feel empathy is not to justify, to forgive is not to forget. Forgiveness is a good thing, you are free of the resentment and revenge wishes that can be so bad for you, as Don Ramón says haha (you probably don't know him but anyway xD): "la venganza nunca es buena, mata el alma y la envenena"//"revenge is never good, it kills the soul and poisons it". But forgiving is not the same as being stupid, you can forgive the liar but believing them again immediately after is just stupidity despite the all goodwill that goes with it.

The relationship you'll have from that moment on with the person you forgave will depend on the circumstances and the actions you forgave, ignoring them could be bad for you bc that person could harm you again, and it could even worse for the person bc maybe they would never learn their actions have consequences in other people too. If you are willing to continue to have a relationship with that person(again this depends on the circumstances), rebuilding the broken bond takes time, and it takes much longer if there was never a true bond but only one founded on lies (like between Lila and the Miracu-class).

If at some point in the show they explain through a difficult past her present attitudes, and they transform it into a redemption arc (which I doubt), and even if Marinette and the rest forgive her, that forgiveness doesn't have to be just a "let's start over and be BFFs". I want it to be seen that nothing justifies your bad actions, that you must take responsibility for them and that, as much as someone can forgive you, it doesn't mean that nothing happened. That other person has already given you all that they can give you with their forgiveness and they don't have to stay with you for any reason, and that doesn't make them bad. If they leave maybe they don't who knows, I believe it's a great instance for you to learn your lesson bc it would be one of the consequences of your past actions that you have to take responsibility in order to really grow into a better person.

#Sorry for the long answer I can't shut up xD #lila rossi #asks #queuequeue post on #sorry for my english idk if the text has mistakes #:(((

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anxietysroomsupport · 4 years ago

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Hi, I'm sorry for bothering you, but one of the asks you answered recently really helped me. It was the one about the trans group of friends. It's just that I really hate it when people wrongly use oppression or trauma as an excuse instead of explanation, especially if it's general not personal, but I can't say anything for fear of being called out on being racist or homophobic or something. It's just a small minority that uses serious stuff as an excuse for bad behavior, (1/2) -thanks

(2/2 -thanks) but I see it a lot and it distresses me. I just really hate over-generalizing really, and you helped me see that some people really do understand what I'm trying to say, that I'm not evil and I don't realize it. I'm just trying my best to improve. Goodness I feel like crying, so thank you <3.

Hi, it's me -thanks again, I realize looking back on what I said (more like word-vomited, sorry about that) that it doesn't make much sense. I wanted to clarify a little that basically, the loud minority in some circles sometimes makes me feel like I have no problems because of [blank- being white, being cishet, anything like that], or that mine are unimportant and I'm not special. It hurts and I can't say anything so I'm just really happy and again wanting to cry, you're all awesome <3.

Hi Anon,

Happy to help!

I hope you don’t mind if I use this opportunity to expand on the subject a little.

All the progressive movements we’ve been talking about recently: feminism, pride, BLM - their intent has always been to recognize inequality and prejudice, and address it by forcing others to see it too. These are broad, national, sometimes global movements, involving millions of people, and are considered basic human rights issues (at least for some). But how we interact with the Movement and how we interact with individuals on a personal level cannot be the same. It doesn’t work.

For the movement as a whole, we make concessions. We acknowledge that bad actors within it aren’t representative of the whole. We defend the movement in spite of its flaws, because the overall message and change is important and necessary. Flawed progress is better than no progress (looking at you, Joe). We work to recognize our own shortcomings and how we’ve benefited from the system, and we do what we can to make up for that.

On an individual level, it’s easy to get carried away. It’s easy to adopt an Us versus Them mindset and a cancel culture to build up our walls, and it’s easy to forget that our allies and our enemies sometimes have things in common. This is especially true for any movement’s younger members, and it’s just something we have to keep working on as people continue to join the fight.

Sometimes, we deal with so much hate, and get so rooted in the parts of our identity that we’ve had to defend, any affront to ourselves becomes an affront to that identity. Any criticism to ourselves becomes criticism of the Movement. And any person who dares to criticize the Movement becomes the enemy. It’s an ideological snowball effect and it can happen to anyone.

Separating ourselves from the Movement is difficult. Finding that balance... I don’t know if anyone ever stops working to find that. And that’s why it’s okay to not keep conceding to friends, to not give up on defending yourself when someone who happens to be part of a disadvantaged group is just being objectively mean to you. It’s okay to have conflicts. Not everything has to be about our identities, even though a lot more things are affected by it than we may have realized. There is still space to just have interpersonal conflicts and deal with them as individuals.

I highly recommend watching Dear White People, because it is an excellent show about people who have to fight for their identities and try to find their own balance between toeing the line for a cause and navigating their own personal relationships.

-Miss Fay

#positivity #trans #friends #relationships #racism mention #homophobia mention #generalization #human rights #politics mention #interpersonal relationships #dear white people #conflict #hope this makes sense

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shyficwriter · 5 years ago

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Hope I'm not too late for this, sorry if so. Could you do one where reader one way or another shrinks into a young kid so Yondu has to care for her all the while trying to find a cure? Sorry if this prompt is too weird or if it's late, as said, and thsnk you none the less. Keep up the great work btw your Yondu x readers really warm my heart and make my day it is soooo hard to find platonic relationship stories with Yondu.

What an interesting concept! I don’t think I’ve seen anything like this before! [Edit: I just remembered there was an episode like this on Supernatural where a witch turns Dean into a kid, so apparently I have seen this before lol]

Hope you like it! (It came out way longer than expected for a drabble though! ha ha)Word Count: 6,274(Prompts are now closed!)“Watch out!”

Those were the last words you heard before turning to see a brilliant white beam of light burst forth and enveloped you.

That morning Yondu said you were coming along on a mission to steal a machine. None of you knew what it did, just that there was a client who had hired the Ravagers to steal it from a scientist on Calurnia. The most any of you could assume, based on how much the client had offered to pay, was that it was likely dangerous. And now you were staring directly in its crosshairs as it misfired.

The mission had actually been going pretty well up until this point. There didn’t seem to be anyone guarding the machine, so the heist was surprisingly relaxed. Gef was busy un-bolting the machine from the wall with Scrote, and you were waiting with the others to help carry all the other parts out once they were done.

In a way, you supposed you could blame Peter for your situation now, for if it weren’t for him calling you over to check something out you wouldn’t have walked in front of the machine at just the wrong moment when Gef slipped and fell on the controls. Now, you might have been considered one of the more bad-ass Ravagers on the team, but since none of you knew what the machine did, no one really would have faulted you in that split second for nearly peeing down your leg when the light hit you and your heart stopped in fear, assuming you were dead.

However, that’s not what happened. You didn’t die when the blinding light enveloped you. You didn’t burn to a crisp, or melt into a puddle, or develop oozing sores, or anything terrible like that.

It was over in a split second. The beam hit you, the bright light blinding the rest of the Ravager team, and then as soon as it happened, it was over.

Confused shouts picked up volume as everyone tried to figure out what happened. Of course, because the only seemingly visible trace of you was a pile of your clothing, they assumed you had been vaporized at first. Yondu was about to tear Gef a new asshole for his incompetence costing them a member of the team, until they heard a cooing noise over the commotion.

With raised eyebrows everyone looked in the direction of the noise, not sure what to make of it. Finally, Yondu cautiously walked over to inspect the sound emanating from your pile of discarded clothes, and was shocked at what he had found.

You had been turned into a baby.

You weren’t newborn, but you couldn’t have been much older than a year old. It took you a moment to realize what happened and why everything suddenly looked bigger. At first you thought you had be shrunken, but then you looked down at yourself to see that your hands weren’t your own. It was hard to see, as you were trying to fight your way out of your now much too big jacket, but you had the tiny arms of an infant, and you realized in horror that there was only reason that could be before you hear footsteps approaching you.

Yondu hesitantly pulled back the jacket to reveal a now much younger you. He picked you up and held you at arms length. He looked at you in confusion, “What the-?” is all he managed to get out, and that’s when your infant self actually did pee down your leg, though at this time you didn’t really notice as you were still panicking. All you could think was how you now embodied a baby, and how this wasn’t ideal.

Yondu wasn’t amused, having only narrowly avoided the mess splashing on him, though the crew would have found his expression funny had the whole situation not been so bizarre.

Yondu handed you off to Kraglin, who was less than happy having to cradle your squirming baby form; you didn’t exactly like being lifted and passed around. “What are we gonna do with her?” he asked.

“We gotta change her back, right?” asked Peter.

“We can’t figure it out now, boy. We stick around much longer we might get caught.” Yondu reasoned. He instructed Gef and Scrote to finish disconnecting the machine and load it onto the ship. Hopefully they could figure it once you all got back to the Eclector and had more time.

Scrote joked about just dropping you off at an orphanage on the way instead of worrying about it, but Yondu just glared at him and he got back to work.

To the dismay of Kraglin, you began to fuss. You didn’t want to wait, you wanted changed back now!

If only there was some way to let them know you were aware of everything, that you may look like a baby, but you still had your adult mind. Unfortunately for you, your reactions were quite limited due to your infant body. You couldn’t speak to tell them to piss off, so fussing would have to do.

It didn’t seem to be working. Kraglin just passed you off. “Here, entertain the baby, Peter.”

At first Peter started to refuse, but after a receiving a warning look from Yondu he relented, and begrudgingly took you in his arms. “What am I supposed to do?”

“I dunno, kid.” Kraglin said. “Just, play peek-a-boo or some crap until we can get this thing loaded up. Just keep her from fussing.” He then tossed Peter a shirt you had been wearing from your pile of clothes. “And here, might as well cover her with something.”

Peter rolled his eyes and groaned, he hated it when Kraglin called him a kid just because he still happened to be in his twenties. He sat on the ground with you, trying his best to make the adult size t-shirt fit around your infant body.

It wasn’t until now that it hit you that you had been stark naked this whole time. You were mortified, despite the fact that you supposed “baby butt” wasn’t really the same as being nude when you were an adult.

“How’d I get stuck with the baby?” Peter muttered when he was finished.

You stared at him in annoyance. You weren’t exactly fond of this situation either. You started to fuss out of spite.

“Keep her quiet, boy!” Yondu scolded.

You’d show him quiet. You fussed louder. Yeah, you felt childish, but you felt you could make an exception for these circumstances.

Peter tried playing peek-a-boo, but you ignored him. Unlike an actual baby, you actually had a concept of object permanence, and you didn’t exactly feel like playing along. Maybe if you fussed more they’d hurry up. The quicker you got back to the ship the quicker they could find a way to change you back.

Your fussing was cut short, however, when Peter got an idea. He started gently tickling your tummy, cooing out a “Cootchie Coo!” as he did so. Your fussing, to your chagrin, turned into happy giggles.

“Aw! Is the baby ticklish?” he cooed. “Is she? Is she?”

You wanted to curse at him to quit it, that you weren’t a child. But you couldn’t, because, well, at this moment you were a child and the only sounds you could make were happy giggles as he playfully wiggled his fingers over your chubby baby tummy.What you hated more, and you’d never admit, was that this was actually kinda fun. Within a few moments you no longer felt like fussing and found yourself actually enjoying the game. You decided to blame this on the fact that you were currently in the body of a baby. If you were full size you would have punched him, you were sure. Mostly.

Within a few moments more Yondu called for Peter. They were finished with the task and it was time to board the ship. This meant the game was over and you were surprised to find that you were actually kind of disappointed.

Once back on the ship a new problem had risen. Where would they put you? They couldn’t just strap you back into your seat like normal. The seats weren’t meant for babies. After some discussion it was finally agreed that Kraglin would pilot the ship with Scrote, while Yondu sat with you in his lap in the back. He didn’t really trust the other Ravagers or Peter to hold onto you properly, figuring they’d drop you or something, and so placed the task on himself.

You wanted to fuss at this. You didn’t want to sit in anyone’s lap like a child, much less your captain’s! However, once everything was settled you found you lacked the energy to start fussing. It actually was kind of comfortable sitting in Yondu’s lap, and he was humming a tune, just low enough for the crew not to hear over their conversations, which was slowly lulling you to sleep.

The next thing you knew you had woken up as you were being laid down on something cushy. You looked around and realized you were in the Captain’s Quarters and someone had laid you on the couch. Yondu and Kraglin were discussing the elephant in the room with the rest of the Ravagers from the mission.

“What the hell are we supposed to do with a baby?” Kraglin asked. “None of us know anything about babies!” He sounded anxious.

“I’m tryin’ to figure that out.” responded Yondu. “There’s gotta be a way to change her back. Gef, you get on that. Find Oblo and the two of ya work it out. Kraglin go with them, make sure they don’t mess it up.”

Gef nodded with a, “Yes, sir!” before leaving the room, and Kraglin begrudgingly followed, afraid he’d be stuck with ‘baby duty’ if he didn’t.

Scrote popped off again about being serious about tossing you in an orphanage and you glared at him the best you were able with your baby face. He wasn’t looking, of course.

You angrily, but carefully, tried to climb down off the couch. You’d show him. You didn’t know what’d you’d do, but you’d figure it out. When you successfully landed on the floor without hurting yourself you had a mind to check if you had any teeth to bite him with. A quick search of your gums with your tongue proved fruitless. No teeth. Damn. Could you walk at least? You attempted, and made a couple of wobbly steps before you fell to the floor. You rolled your eyes. You could work on it. You decided to resign to crawling on the floor for now and listening for a bit, looking around to see if maybe there was something you could throw at him.

While you were busy contemplating ways your infant form could cause Scrote bodily harm Yondu was busy scolding him. “We ain’t gonna just put her in an orphanage! She’s still a part of this crew, and that means we’ll figure it out! Get on out of here if ya don’t have anythin’ useful to contribute ‘fore I assign ya to diaper duty!”

‘Diaper duty? Shit!’ You had completely forgotten about that. How could this get any worse? While it would be funny to see Scrote have to change dirty diapers, you’d be damned if you were gonna get him change you. Geeze. You just knew you’d never live this down when you got changed back.

While you were lamenting Scrote hurriedly walked out of the room. After he was gone you heard Peter speak up again. “Uh, Yondu-?”

“What, boy?” Yondu snapped in frustration. He was just about done with this day. He didn’t want to hear anymore questions about what they were supposed to do with you.

“Where’s the baby?”

“What?” Yondu’s expression changed from annoyance to surprise. He looked around, noticing you were no longer on the couch. “Aw, what the hell!”

You sighed. You knew you couldn’t exactly expect to be given your space right now, but come on. You crawled out from behind the couch and into view before the guys could have a conniption.

“Oh, there she is!” Peter said in relief.

Yondu walked over and picked you up off the floor. “Why can’t ya just stay put?” he asked, not really expecting an answer, but getting a pout in response.

“Ugh, what’s that smell?” Peter asked, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “Warn someone next time, geeze!”

You could smell it too. Ugh! What did Yondu eat today?!

Yondu looked at him. “Don’t blame that on me, boy! I thought it was you-” then it it them. Yondu’s eyes narrowed at you. “Why ya little-”

It was then you too realized, in mortification, what the smell was.

“Peter-” Yondu tried, but Peter was already halfway out the door.

“Sorry, Yondu! I got to go do that… thing… chores- you asked me to do, bye!” and with that he ran out the door.

Yondu yelled some swears at him as he left before turning his attention back to you. “Dammit,” he sighed, realizing he didn’t have any available crew left to do this dirty work for him. “Let’s just get this over with.”

***

The next day at breakfast Yondu noticed Peter had already finished eating and before he could get away stuck him with the task of feeding you. When asked with what and how Yondu grabbed a yarrow root from the bowl on the table and told Peter to mash it up and spoon it to you. Yondu then grabbed a fruit for himself and sat down next to Kraglin to eat.

“Looks like you slept better than expected.” noted Kraglin, surprised that Yondu didn’t have a “the baby cried the whole night” story to share that morning. After weighing the pro’s and cons the night before Yondu claimed he decided to bite the bullet and keep you in his quarters so the crew could sleep. A ‘selfless act’ from their captain. In truth he was worried about putting a baby in the trust of anyone else. What could he say? He knew his crew.

“I’m as surprised as you,” Yondu admitted, taking a bite, “but she slept clear through the night.”

“Can’t complain about that.” Kraglin said.

“Nope. How’s Gef coming on that machine?”

“Well, he’s not there yet. He got it running, and he turned an adult orloni into a pup, but he hasn’t quite figured out how to reverse it yet.”

“Well tell him to hurry up.” Yondu warned. “We don’t got forever with it, eventually we gotta hand it over to the client.”

Kraglin nodded and left, finished with his breakfast. Yondu turned his attention to you and Peter, finding you fussing and Peter an exasperated mess as he tried to feed you.

You didn’t want to be fed like a child, you were sure you could do it yourself! But it didn’t matter how many times you’d grab for the spoon or throw the food back at Peter, he wouldn’t get the hint. You might be in a baby’s body, but was it really that hard to realize that you were smarter than one??

“Dammit, boy! Hand her here.” Yondu said in annoyance after seeing the mess. “Ain’t ya never fed a baby before?”

“No!” Peter cried in irritation. “Have you?”

“Well, no,” Yondu admitted, “but it can’t be as hard as yer makin’ it out to be!”

Yondu plopped you on to table in front of him, took the bowl of mashed yarrow root from Peter, and tried feeding you himself.

You started to fuss again but Yondu just stared ya down. “There ain’t gonna be any of that, missy.” He scolded. “Now ya settle down and eat it, that’s an order!”

You pouted but obeyed your captain’s orders, allowing him to feed you the rest of the mashed root.

“How’d you do that?” asked Peter, clearly annoyed Yondu was having an easier time. He attempted to clean himself off with a napkin. He swore, if he didn’t know better, it was like you were actively listening to and obeying Yondu’s orders.

“Ya just gotta let ‘em know who’s boss, boy.” Yondu said smugly, clearly pleased with himself. You internally groaned. What you wouldn’t give to be able to talk right now.

***

Later that day Yondu found himself with some free time, but unable to pawn you off on anyone else to enjoy it. He didn’t trust more than half his crew with a baby, and the other half was either away on various missions or working out a way to change you back. Eventually he just resigned himself to staying in his quarters with you. Maybe if he’d turn on the TV it might keep you occupied as well.

It didn’t work.

You just weren’t interested in watching some boring wrestling match, so you kept trying to crawl away from the spot he had designated for you on the floor in front of the TV. After about the 5th time of having to retrieve you from wandering off Yondu opted instead to sit you in his lap so he could keep an eye on you.

You began to fuss again. You were bored! If he was going to keep you cooped up in here the least he could do was let you crawl around! Hell, you could even be practicing walking or something!

Yondu turned you to face him. “Enough of that. What do ya want?” He said crossly. Part of him felt silly. He knew you couldn’t understand him.

You pouted and attempted to talk, but you could only manage gibbering babbles as your vocal cords clearly weren’t as developed as you’d like them to be yet for holding an adult conversation. In your frustration you smacked at his arm with your tiny hand.

“Yer a mean lil’ shit, ya know that?” Yondu said, a grin threatening his grouchy facade. He had to admit, you were kind of adorable. “We gotta work on that.” With that he started tickling your belly and you squealed in happy giggles. “See, that’s better!” Yondu laughed. “Ya don’t need to be sitting around looking so mad all the time!” He started cooing and teasing you, saying things like “Gitchy-gitchy! I’m gonna getcha!” and “Now who’s a happy lil’ shit? I think it’s you!”

You giggled and wiggled under his attack. Had you been in your adult form you probably would have punched him and told him to fuck off out of embarrassment, worried that it would hurt your image as a hard-ass. However, since you weren’t, you just allowed yourself to enjoy the game, just as you had with Peter. You supposed it could be worse, you could still be bored, and actually you were kind of having fun if you were being honest. It wasn’t often you just got to laugh and be care-free, so you supposed you could enjoy it while it lasted, even if you would definitely deny anything of the sort once you got changed back. Again, you had your “bad-ass” image to protect, after all.

The same could be said for Yondu as well. The only ones who ever got to see anything close to his softer side were Peter, you, and Kraglin to an extent. What would his crew think if they saw their mean ol’ captain baby-talking and playing with a giggly baby? They might think he was going soft, and he couldn’t have that. But he didn’t have to worry about that right now. He could just be carefree for a bit and enjoy the fact that he got to see you laugh, even if it was the baby-version of you. You didn’t seem to do much of it anymore these days. Probably too concerned with needing to look tough around the guys was his guess.

The game continued for a bit more until Yondu was satisfied he had tired you out. You remained giggly even as your eyelids drooped and before long you fell asleep for a nap right in his lap. He figured you could sleep there for a bit while he watched the rest of the match on the TV. Looking down at you sleeping he chuckled quietly to himself.

“Cute lil’ shit.”

***

By around mid-day of the next day Gef still hadn’t figured out how to use the machine to turn you back, but he had turned 5 adult orlonies into pups trying. The only thing he had discovered was that if the beam hit something that was already a baby, it didn’t have any noticeable effect. This wasn’t exactly progress, but it was a slight relief to know that if they hit you with it again and got it wrong that you wouldn’t disappear or anything.

Yondu was growing increasingly agitated at the slow progress, not that he’d tell anyone he was actually worried though. Not only were you one of his best workers, but he did care for you and Peter like his own children. You were his little girl, just as Peter was his boy, though he’d never admit as much for either. He definitely wasn’t going to be happy if they couldn’t change you back.

After Oblo left to rejoin Gef after delivering the news Peter sat you on the ground to crawl around and turned to Yondu. “Yondu, what do we do if we can’t turn her back?” He sounded more worried now. Yeah, you were already like his younger sister, but this was ridiculous. “Like, do we… raise her? And just wait for her to grow up?”

You heard this and you stopped crawling. You sat on the floor in disbelief. That was one outcome you hadn’t considered. Could you really be stuck like this? Forced to live with a young adult mind inside of the body of an infant? You couldn’t handle that possibility. It wasn’t fair. You were already hating every moment of this, and now there’s a possibility you’d stay trapped like this? You broke down, and wailed like the infant you currently embodied.

“Oh hey! Hey! Shhh. You’re ok!” Peter tried to sooth as he picked you up from the floor.

“What happened?” asked Yondu, concerned. “She hurt herself?”

“I don’t know. She doesn’t look hurt?” Peter said, looking you over as you continue to wail. “She can’t be hungry, we just fed her, and it doesn’t look like she needs changed.” He found a small brightly colored cup and in desperation to stop your cries tried to present it to you like a toy.

“I think that’s the first time she’s actually cried this whole time.” Kraglin noted. “I guess it was just a matter of time. It was actually starting to get weird.”

Just then Scrote walked by, and noticing your cries, coughed out the word “Orphanage!” as he walked past.

Yondu growled and called for his arrow, driving it to point right between Scrote’s eyes. “I told ya to knock that shit off!”

Scrote stood frozen in fear. “Sorry, boss! It won’t happen again!”

“Ya bet yer ass it won’t!” growled Yondu, “Go clean out the grease traps in the kitchen. Now.” He called back his arrow and Scrote scampered off to the Mess Hall, knowing the punishment was better than death by yaka arrow.

By this time you had accepted the cup from Peter solely for the purpose of throwing it at Scrote. You missed, of course, with your tiny baby arms not being able to throw it that far, but Peter took notice.

“Um, guys?” he asked, starting to piece some events from the past couple days together. “Do- do you think she can understand us?”

“What?” Yondu turned back and looked at the two of you incredulously. Surely you couldn’t?

“I mean, call me crazy, but she kinda doesn’t act that much like any baby I’ve seen, and it’s like she reacts to what we say. She stops fussing when you order her to, she never cried at all until just now when I mentioned the possibility that we can’t change her back, and she threw the cup at Scrote for the orphanage jokes. I’m really starting to think she can understand us.

You looked at Peter as he spoke and stopped crying. You excitedly clapped your hands and squealed. Yes! Finally someone noticed! Thank god, Peter!

Yondu and Kraglin looked at your display in disbelief and then to each other. That definitely looked like you understood Peter’s claim, but could that really be true?

“Hey,” Yondu caught your attention, bringing himself to be eye-level with you. “Are ya really in there? Can ya really understand us?”

Again you clapped and let a little squeal of delight. Yes! You could understand! Thank God! Maybe now they could stop treating you like a dumb baby!

The three men looked at each other alarmed. Peter quickly sat you down on the table. “Uh.. Ok. Two claps for yes, one clap for no, understand?”

You clapped twice, a happy grin on your face.

“Holy shit.” said Kraglin. “She’s really in there!” He almost seemed to pale at the thought. “So she understands exactly what’s been going on!?”

You clapped twice again, startling him. This made you giggle.

“I guess that would explain why she always looks so mad when we change her diapers then…” Peter said.

You frowned, and sheepishly clapped twice. You gave him a look that even he could read as “Trust me, if I could avoid it, I would.”

“Holy crap.” Peter said, and Yondu’s face showed he shared the same sentiment. “Ok, um, maybe this means she can help!” He turned back to you. “Before you got turned into… this, did you notice anything that might help us turn you back?”

You sadly clapped once. ‘No, I was too busy thinking I was dead!’ you thought.

Yondu frowned. “Don’t worry. We’re gonna get you changed back. Gef and Oblo are workin’ on it right now.”

You nodded. You, of course, already knew this.

Peter tried to think of a better way for you to communicate. “Um, do you think you can write?”

You weren’t sure, so you clapped three times, hoping he’d get the message.

“I’m going to take that as an ‘I don’t know.’“ he said. You clapped twice in response as he pulled a small notepad and pen from his pocket. He handed them to you.

You took the objects and attempted to write. Obviously you knew what words you wanted to say, and could remember how to write in your mind, however, you lacked the motor skills to accomplish the task. All you were able to produce was illegible scribbles. You looked up at him sadly and slumped your little shoulders.

“It’s alright,” Peter said, “We’ll figure it out. Besides, I’m sure you’ll be back to normal in no time!”

You didn’t respond, you were sure he was only trying to comfort you and didn’t actually believe it.

“I gotta admit, this does make diaper changing more awkward knowing she’s actually in there.” said Kraglin.

“Well I bet it’s been awkward for her this whole time,” Peter replied.

You clapped twice.

“Well, I mean, do we do things differently? She’s still in a baby body? Do we still help feed her? Or the diapers? She can’t even walk really, I doubt she can use a toilet on her own.”

You covered your eyes with your little hands in embarrassment, and that told them all they needed to know about that.

Yondu decided to speak up again. “Well, we don’t like it anymore than ya do, but since we don’t really gotta choice we’re all just gonna have to suck it up until we can change ya back. An’ that means ya gotta stop fussin’ all the time. Now we know yer in there an’ got a way of communicating ya can quit fussin’. Understood, missy?”

Begrudgingly you clapped twice. You were more than ready to communicate like an adult, but getting them to listen and understand was another thing.

Peter began to chuckle, “Ya know, once you get changed back, the crew’s never gonna let you live this baby-thing down,” he said, trying to lighten the mood.

You threw his pen at him. You knew he was right. They would totally try to tease the hell out of you once this was over.

“Hey now, what’d I say about fussin’, girl!” Yondu scolded, a hint of play in his voice. He scooped you up. “If yer gonna keep acting like a baby I might as well treat ya like one!” he chuckled as he tickled your tummy, making your squirm and giggle in his hold.

The other two actually laughed, a little bit of the tension lifted. Knowing you were in there and knowing they could embarrass you to pieces by teasing you about being a baby somehow made the situation slightly better.

But one thing was certain. If you had any doubts before, you were sure you’d definitely never live this down now.

***

The next day went smoother. You were less frustrated now that the other’s stopped treating you as much like a baby wherever possible, unless they were just trying to embarrass you. Everything wasn’t perfect, but it was a start.

That morning Peter asked if you wanted to try feeding yourself, and you happily tried, wanting some independence back. Unfortunately the little matter of poor motor skills came into play and it became clear that you were better off letting Peter do it for you.

Despite this, a lot of the frustration was still lifted off you, so you decided to have some fun during some off-time on the ship.

Kraglin was off helping Gef and Oblo with the machine, but Yondu and Peter were hanging out in the captain’s quarters cleaning their blasters. Now that they knew you weren’t going to go off and choke on small objects, or whatever else babies could do to accidentally harm themselves if left unattended, you were free to crawl around as you pleased. You decided to entertain yourself by throwing small objects you found on the floor at the guys and quickly hiding behind furniture before they turned. Really you just wanted something to take your mind off the fact that the client was going to be expecting the machine soon, and you were running out of time if they couldn’t figure out how to change you back.

Peter got up after the third time of being hit with your projectiles and made to come after you, threatening to sit you on top of the dresser if you didn’t quit. You avoided capture from Peter by slipping under the sofa, but Youdu pulled you out from the other side.

He laughed as you let a surprised squeal and kicked in his grasp. He flipped you upside down and tickled your belly. “I already told ya, if ya wanna act like a kid, I’ll treat ya like a kid!” he chuckled, trying to sound stern but not succeeding.

“Wait, you know what I just realized?” Peter said, looking almost shocked, with a hint of mischief.

“What?” Yondu asked, stopping his actions and allowing you to escape to the sofa.

Before Peter could respond with his realization Kraglin came bounding into the room. “Boss, we got a problem! The client is here for the machine!”

“We were supposed to bring it to him!”

“He says he got tired of waiting!”

“Well, stall him!” Yondu ordered. He turned to Peter and told him to grab some clothes from your quarters. He was going to take you and try to speed Gef and Oblo along.

***

Peter got to the room where Gef was working with the machine soon after you and Yondu did, and Yondu ushered him to shut door behind him.

Yondu told Gef that the client was there now for the machine, he had to reverse it now.

“I think it’s close!” Gef said. “Just let me test it real quick, I think I got it!”

Everyone stood back as he fired the beam at the orloni pup.

Nothing happened.

Yondu scolded Gef, and he hurried to try another combination of buttons. Again nothing.

Yondu looked furious and Gef scrambled to explain that he had only one combination left to try. This one was bound to work, and if it didn’t… well, there was nothing more they could do.

“Ya better hope this works then.” Yondu said coldly.

Everyone held their breath as Gef set up again, pushing the buttons in the final combination. The bright light filled the room and when it faded everyone looked to where the pup had been.

It had worked. It actually worked! The orloni pup was now full grown again!

Cheers of excitement filled the room and Yondu ushered Peter to get you ready. He wasn’t sure how long Kraglin could stall the client.

Peter was fitting you into one of your t-shirts and a pair of pants the best he could, figuring you would just grow into them as you changed back, when Yondu’s communicator went off. It was Kraglin saying he couldn’t stall the client any longer and he was heading your way.

“Ya heard him!” Yondu called to Gef. “Get a move on! The client will be here any minute!”

Peter quickly moved out of the way and Gef hastily plugged in the same combination of buttons as before.

Angry knocking could be heard at the door.

“Jus’ a minute! I’m comin’!” Yondu yelled back, motioning for Gef to hurry up and finish.

Gef pushed the last few buttons as the knocking began to intensify. The doorknob began to rattle and Peter quickly went to push his weight against the door.

Like before the room was filled with a blinding bright light as the beam flooded over you, and just as before it was over nearly as soon as it started.

You let your eyes adjust and patted yourself down as soon as you saw you no longer had the limbs or body of an infant. “It worked!” you said excitedly, standing up. “It-”

Just then the door to the room burst open, pushing Peter to the side as a very irritated Krylorian businessman walked in with Kraglin following nervously behind. When Kraglin’s eyes landed on you and he saw you were changed back a visible relief washed over him.

“Geeze, ya couldn’t wait for me to answer the door?” Yondu said, acting as if nothing strange had just occurred and feigning annoyance. “Ya must have been more excited for this thing than I thought.”

The businessman eyed him suspiciously, but seeing as he couldn’t find any faults to complain about he instead opted to just talk business instead. He paid Yondu the rest of the bounty and Yondu instructed Gef and Oblo to help Kraglin load the machine onto the man’s ship.

When the men had gone and it was just the three of you left Peter turned to you with a shit eating grin. “So-”

“Not a word.” You said coldly, a blush already creeping up your neck.

“That’s fine, because I don’t need any words to know this works on you now.” he said, wiggling his fingers into your stomach. It was this that he had realized earlier; a ticklish baby-you would very likely mean a ticklish adult-you, and he was right.

You smacked at his hands and told him to quit, biting back your giggles.

“I could’ve sworn I said something to ya about quittin’ yer fussin,’ girl.” Yondu interjected, a grin almost as wide as Peter’s as he joined him in the mischief, tweaking your ribs and laughing as you tried to wiggle away, laughter now bubbling from your lips. Really, he was just happy they were able to change you back in time, and glad to see a smile on your face.

“Aw, is our little hard-ass ticklish?” Peter cooed, knowing this would embarrass the hell out of you, “Is she? Is she?” he laughed, noting how you still squealed happily when he tickled your belly, despite your efforts to act like you hated them for it. You had that “hard-ass” image you needed to protect, after all. Even if you definitely didn’t look very tough at the moment.

Eventually they stopped, leaving you a mess of residual giggles. “You both suck.” you whined, grin still plastered on your face. You supposed you didn’t actually hate them for it, but they were definitely the only ones who could get away with that without you gutting them.

“Consider that payback for having to change your diapers.” Yondu chuckled, turning to leave and motioning for the two of you to follow.

“And for the constant fussing. You really were cranky baby.” Peter joked, laughing as you punched him in the arm.

The teasing from them continued throughout the day until it was time for bed. And then it picked up the next day at lunch when Peter asked if you needed him to feed you. And the day after that on a mission when Kraglin spotted an empty diaper pack on the street and joked about how he was glad they were able to change you back, because changing your diaper for three days was more than enough.Then there was all the times when you’d be alone with Peter and Yondu and they’d decide you looked “too mean” and decided to team up and “cheer you up” with tummy tickles.

You were right. You were really never going to live it down.

116 notes · View notes

thesagedahlia · 5 years ago

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😈Future & his 'future'😈

This will be a long one, so I will try to keep my intro short (but I ramble, so whatever). How do I feel about Future? As a Scorpio man with a Sag dominance, he gives me hoe energy. Already. No offense if that's your make-up. He is also a mutable dominant, & if you know anything about mutable energy, it's flighty, it's everchanging, it 'gets bored quickly'. All that Sag energy, with a Gemini moon (it's polar opposite sign) can make a very conflicting & contradicting nature. If you don't know anything about me.. know I don't like fuck nigga/bitch energy. How do I feel about Eliza Reign? I'm no idiot. I know an 'exchange' when I see one. But darling, I wish you would have known better than to allow this into your life, because it is NOT what your daughter needs. With that said, we need to be more responsible with out eggs & seeds, be if we can't love the person we lay down & have kids with (or just LAY DOWN with, & HOP UP with kids), then those kids won't know the proper way to love with a proper raising (& no, you don't need the father to properly love your kids, but you gotta love twice as hard in that case, & if you can't get with something like that, then I feel sorry because that kind of dedication was never given, nor recieved. But neither here nor there, not my business nor place to judge, another convo for another day. Now how do I feel about Future & Lori Harvey...run, sis. He won't change, & all you'll be is another BM. Get out while you still can.

**DISCLAIMER**

I am not declaring, nor am I insinuating, that anything I say in my predictions are true accounts of any of the parties involved. This reading is for entertainment purposes only, & should only taken as such. All in good fun, folks 🤷🏾‍♀️🧿

😈What was the relationship between Future & Eliza Reign?😈

They actually have been dealing with one another for some time, before Eliza got pregnant. Future is the type to play mind games, & he manipulated the situation, however in a way where he would never claim that he was dealing with her. She was actually paid a pretty penny to keep things civil with her, or even 'for her services'. Ultimately Future never made things clear for her, but he was a charmer. I do believe, however, they were dealing with one another up until she announced her pregnancy, also meaning he cut her off afterwards. He was 'the magician' the situation, a trickster, but I feel like the victory was lost for him when he found out about the pregnancy. I feel he is already in a financial workhorse situation, because he has other children with other women, even though he takes his sweet time getting back to them as well. I also feel like he is aware of the fact that he is ducking this woman, but this could be because he believes everything to be a rumor. Eliza has come to a place of acceptance of not being as close to Future as she had hoped, & she is suffering with the heartache in silence. Knowing what she knew when it came to Future, even in the very beginning however, she still decided to entertain him, even though she knew it was nothing serious or that it will end the way that it ultimately did. Why? Financial opportunities. It has become an emotional challenge for her, but I feel she was ultimately cut out by way of an ultimatum; basically being cool with the terms & dealing with Future or being alone. I also feel like she has had to deal with other women that has dealt with Future, or his baby mamas. This other woman seems to be loyal to their situation, & she seems to be reactive off of her emotions, though this seems to be leaving obstacles & challenges on Future, having to deal with much conflict, major sacrifice, & past resentment. For Eliza, this was an emotional challenge for her & much drama. The choice she made was to come out of isolation after finding out she was pregnant, but Future as completely removed himself from the situation by this time. Eliza may have felt as though she couldn't come forward because of the hate train that would soon follow, but I feel she was guided to do so. I feel like regardless of the feedback she would get, she was still confident that she would be able to have a case & still had plans to move forward.

😈What were Eliza Reign's intentions with Future?😈

I feel like Eliza was very intuitive when it came to dealing with Future. She was well aware of the treatment; which seemed to be generosity in turn for pleasure. I don't think she predicted her own outcome for all of this, but to her, she was strictly around because she wanted to be. However it ended, she was going to fight against the backlash & stand up for herself. She would also accept all that is regarding the situation, in whatever way that would have been. I feel like she intended to gain clout from dealing with Future, though she also wanted material gain with him, but dealing with him is an unconventional way of life & I think he was already searching, as he possesses heartbreaker tendencies. He was fully involved with someone else (either he jump off or a BM) which caused Eliza to be casted off to the side. I feel like she knew she would become an outcast based off the fact that she doesn't need embarrassments or unwanted ties to certain women, but she's aware he always had other hoes. That didn't stop her however, because she was willing to be invested by him; she kind of had more of an emotional approach to their involvement, which became a disadvantage. Future was negative energy, but she was still a willing participant up until they became estranged from one another. I think that now, her intentions are to get support of her child because she is sure of her contact with Future, thus came about the lawsuit.

😈Future's feeling toward Eliza + the lawsuit?😈

Future doesn't believe Eliza has genuine intentions. He feel she is scorn after he stopped dealing with her. He also believes she tried to trap him, & is only after him for money/material gain. He really wants to be released from this situation/lawsuit because it is going to be a nightmare dealing with another child support check/BM. He has been doing all he can to skip out on the responsibility. He's seeing that being involved with Eliza was a bad choice on his part, & he would rather not have dealt with her at all. He is really fighting on not to have to pay her, & it may be a little on the side of not being sure about if her daughter is his. He didn't even want to have to deal with any of this in the public eye. His feelings are very clear cut; he doesn't want to have to pay her a dime. He also doesn't trust her & feel she's trying to manipulate the situation into her favor. He feels it is all speculation at this point. I do feel, however, if he was sure about the child's paternity, he wouldn't have a choice; he is fiercely fighting that possibility as much as possible. I feel like he would step up, in reluctance, to help support the child, but not any soon before he is sure that she is his child. He doesn't have any love for Eliza, in fact he thinks she's a manipulator, but he would come around to filling his responsibility. I feel he will be willing to claim the child once it is proven that he is, & when he becomes more comfortable with the idea of dealing with Eliza. It would be especially hard for him to coparent in that regard as well.

😈Does Future believe the baby girl is his?😈

He's aware of her 'type of woman' & he does believe she could be trying to stick the baby on him. If she is his, he would suck it up & handle his responsibility, but I don't think he truly believes he's the father, in fact he truly believes he isn't. I feel like he has trouble opening up to the idea of being the dad. He will be loyal to the child if it comes out that he is, but he honestly doesn't know; like I said before, he was hoping that this was all going to go away. He is aware that he is going to have to take this one to the chin, but it will make him uncomfortable. This will be conflicting to him, but he will be forced to step up to the plate whether he likes it or not.

😈Is there a possibility that Eliza's daughter is NOT Future's?😈

Not trying to be messy....but yes; this is giving me the energy that there is confusion around the paternity of the baby. Things honestly look deeper than what they appear on the surface, in fact, per her lifestyle, she has come in contact with more than just Future around the time of conception. Eliza seems to be a little cunning in this situation, because just as Future is unsure, she isn't sure either. Her strategy was to allow the information (or knowledge) of pregnancy to be enough to draw Future back to pay his dues. Truth be told, she was aware of the situation she was in, prior to claiming Future to be the father. Eliza is aware that this was something she created & she is focused on taking care of her daughter in spite of the paternity figure (whoever it may be). Being unsure has caused her distress and stress as well.

😈Outcome of the Lawsuit?😈

I feel like more secrets or incriminating information will continue to come up in this case, & a lot of it feels like revelation; things coming to the light. Future also knows he's in hot shit if he doesn't heed the warnings of the judge. I feel like Future is going to have difficulties in fulfilling his responsibilities, & it is going to financially drain him. I feel these are worries if he is the father. He is very much nervous about being dominated by these challenges of this case, but he will get to a point where he would put forth the effort that he has lacked in the past. If it comes back that he is the father, he will step up to the plate, but he is reluctant to do so. There is a lot of uncertainty surrounding the paternity of the baby too. Until that gets cleared up, there will never be a clear resolution in court. Future is 50/50 in regards to the child, but he would be more so loyal to the child than to Eliza, in fact he feels dealing with her would be a nightmare. His mindset is he isn't putting forth anything that he shouldn't be, which has got him into a lot of trouble. I feel like Future has been keeping tabs/a close eye on Eliza by way of people she knows. He is forced to bring forth balance, even though it has been conflicting to fulfill. I feel Future didn't want to open up to this, but I feel he will be putting forth minimal effort, but I'm not sure if he will respond to the judge in time. I feel a fire is lit under him in order to produce something of substance to the courts, but he is well aware that aside from all he puts forth, this case can still be in favor, or to his detriment. I feel like this would create complications to his relationships with his other women (besides Lori), but I feel they both don't trust one another, & would rather not deal with 1 another, & Eliza only wants him to take care of his possible responsibility. Future's time to respond is ticking, he may either make it in time or he will be able to convince the court for more time to produce DNA test. DEVELOPMENTS PENDING.

😈What is the energy between Lory Harvey & Future?😈

I feel like we are being deceived a bit when it comes to some things. Case in point, I don't think Future & Lori seemed to be going through an off and on energy. I feel like there is a hope here that the connection will work, but it has already been somewhat of a burden trying to keep it together. I feel like as much as they enjoy being in each other's company, it is starting to become much of a nuisance. I feel like they already took some distance or some sort of a break from one another, & it is a situation that seemed to occur in the past that was full of drama and conflict. I feel like they also have problems regarding finances, where they could have been blowing a lot of money together. I feel like a lot of their conflict is in regards to the reason they supposedly got married, & it may have been a pregnancy scare. I feel that there is a possibility that Lori could conceive with Future, but it may have happened before the 'marriage' announcement/rumor. I feel like the reason they separated is because of the possibility of this as well; I don't think Future was initially pleased. It really feels like they aren't in as much contact then when they first began 'dating'. However, I feel like Future may be keeping to himself for now. I feel like this possibility is a desire of a Lori's, & Future may be feeling the pressure behind it. I feel like Future could feel a way toward Lori, but I feel he has ulterior motives when it comes to the relationship. With that said, I don't think he would be open to having another child/BM. I also feel he is worried of this information getting to any of his other BMs, as well as the rest of the world, for the time being. I feel like Lori is wanting a family, Future is seeing this as in obstacle. There is much hope in Lori's mind, while this is kind of stressful for Future, but their true information of this is uncertain. I feel like Lori was also hopeful that Future was going to be open to the idea, which may start to be revealed to her as the opposite. I feel a lot of suspicion coming from Future as well, & he is contemplating his investment of marriage with Lori, & I feel he will come to resent it in the long run. I feel like other women is coming up as conflict for him as well. I feel his suspicion regarding her being pregnant is causing him to be defensive & have a guard up. Future doesn't feel the passion in this opportunity because of the conflict that it has created. He feels himself wanting to be isolated, & wanting to move away from the situation from her. I feel once he gets bored or dissatisfied, he will want to find happiness elsewhere. I think Lori is going to start seeing flaws in their relationship, if she hasn't already seen it. I feel under the surface, they aren't necessarily stable enough to allow for that level of commitment for so long. Future may have made a lot of promises that I don't feel he will be able to fulfill. I feel like a lot of their ways of getting noticed is a strategy. I also feel like their efforts to keep the relationship balance don't seem to hold off the disharmony for too long. I think it is also a strategy for the deeper workings of their relationship to not get out into the world.

😈Are Lori Harvey & Future married?😈

Short answer, no. Future isn't in that frame of mind, even though Lori is waiting for him to make that kind of real gesture to her. I think, IF they do, they may actually get married after he is done dealing with the courts. I also see that, if that happens, one of Future's BMs will come & try to sabotage it. I feel like there is one BM in particular (besides Eliza) that has been trying to expose this relationship. I don't see any of them pleased to be honest, but one in particular may come out of the wood work to try and humiliate Future/the relationship with Lori in some way. Future's excuse to Lori is that he had a lot going on, but it feels he is being pressure to propose/marry. Future isn't even thinking about proposing to Lori, however he feels she is 'something to invest in', so to speak. I think he feels like they will be dealing with one another for a while (I say 8 months tbh), but he is not expecting to marry Lori. Meanwhile, Lori may be waiting, to ultimately become bored by the relationship (I give her 7 months to express her disdain). She doesn't expect to last very long, let alone get married. Mutually, they don't feel the need to buy into what the world has to say. I feel like Future has other things he's focused on then to think about marriage. Lori could have even been the one to enforce it they are married, but it's in no seriousness.

😈Lori's feelings toward Future?😈

It feels like he hasn't done much to put forth to claiming the relationship in conflicting situations. I feel like they had some drama, which could have involved Future's other women, & he kept putting her through deceptive situations, & has yet to officially 'man up' about their relationship. He has continue to entertain other women throughout their relationship. I feel like she looks to Future to do more to solidify what they have going on to other people, but he still has other women he deals with on the side. I don't think she takes him a serious anymore because of this, yet they still continue to be back-and-forth. I feel like Lori has a problem with people affiliated with Future (side chicks, BMs, etc.) which causes her lot of drama. She also is reluctant to get pregnant by him, but she is being reckless in dealing with him altogether. She is well aware that Future isn't necessarily responsible in their relationship, for her main issue is that she isn't the main/number one girl to him; she basically wants him all to herself. I feel like he may be losing his appeal to her, & she feels like she is sick of the drama & BS that comes with being involved with him. He isn't a productive person within a relationship, & I feel the only way they bond is through sex, in her opinion. She hasn't really been pleased with him lately.

😈Future feelings toward Lori Harvy?😈

He feels it's been difficult to really settle down with her, manly because he isn't really ready to settle down with one person. He hasn't been straight up with her & has kind of been leading her on the whole time (shocker). Whatever delays that has been happening within their relationship were purposely delayed in action by way of Future's reluctance. I also think a big issue with him is that he doesn't want to have a baby with Lori, so I feel he has been flighty when it comes to fulfilling relationship responsibility. He isn't in a position to be a man who is settled down; he has some conflict with this, & he is being deceptive to her & the connection out of rebellion. It was fun & games to deal with Lori at first because the relationship it wasn't really about anything serious, but now that he is playing russian roulette with her ovaries, he's become somewhat reckless (not that he wasn't already) I don't think Future is being cautious about how he is dealing with his women, but he is pretty much actively taking control over them. I feel his fire for Lori is going out as well, because he already seems to be dealing with other people, & I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have any shame about it.

😈Outcome of the relationship + what could end it?😈

I see Future's financial/legal woes starting to get the better of him, & this could become a wrench in his plans; to spoil Lori, really. I feel he is thinking to reapproach & possibly compromise/collaborate with a woman who is claiming financial investments for their pregnancy (to save time, we'll say this is Eliza). His biggest worry is that this suit doesn't drain him financially, because it is already a strain on him. He's also embarrassed by the way all of this has played out in front of the whole world. I feel them laying low together, but I feel the need to make the right decision & choosing it wisely. He definitely feels like he may make a decision to take a break from the relationship in order to do with his financial/legal issues. It's beginning to get a lot bigger mentally for him. He may just take time away from dealing with Lori to get himself straight, because he may need to get organized, or he's just delaying the inevitable changes he'd have to deal with. I feel there may be a pregnancy scare for Lori, & I feel like he may choose to be alone for when this happens. I also see him wanting to isolate himself a lot even from the possibility to slip up (because he's THAT irresponsible). He may become a lot more defensive or on edge, & his paranoia is going to prompt him to withdraw. I felt tensions will build if it comes out that she is in fact pregnant, because Future doesn't plan on sticking around. In fact, hes worried about having to be forced to fund another child financially. He is bound to repeat negative patterns & setting off that examples. I feel like if she IS pregnant, it may be an option to terminate the pregnancy (touchy subject, but I'm only reading with the card say) because of Future's reluctance & inability to want a baby. If she decides to keep the baby, we won't see her for the duration of her pregnancy, & she would probably be thinking to approach it in a different way. Not only that, she is going to be going through pain & betrayal behind the scenes with Future, & he will be even more of a manipulative person with her, if & when her (possible) pregnancy goes public. In short they will be fine, as long as she doesn't keep any pregnancies.

😈BONUS QUESTIONS😈

😈Is Future BROKE?😈

It's not that he's broke....he has a lot of legal issues that he has a difficult time meeting the wishes of the courts. To be fair, these BMs aren't letting up on him. I see women coming forward saying they are having his baby. It's going to be a lot coming at him financially, & they feel like women who aren't pleased with him (another shocker). He's going to have negative light shed on him again on how he isn't paying his dues as much. As much as he will make money, it will be requested of him at the courts as well. I see this coming out in the public, but it will possibly be a woman that lives at distance from where he is; it will also further drain his pockets. So I won't say that he's broke, rather he doesn't make enough for what he has to put back out.

😈Is Eliza 'doing everything for clout'?😈

There are ways she is able to take care of her daughter, but she feels it to be a disservice that he doesn't do anything to help out, & she's seen this happen before to other women. I feel she would rather not have all of the attention on her, but making noise would probably be the only reason the case is being looked at. She could care less if Future wants to silence her either. She would rather not deal with the other women or stress herself out of trying to coparent, because she would rather get her money & mind her business. She does want to bring attention to the truth about the situation; that truth being he isn't claiming Eliza or her baby. She wants him to have the choice to know the paternity, if it is his baby & he would like to be in her life, but she wants to have a peace of mind & some help in supporting her. She definitely feels it would be an issue with (some of) his BMs when it comes to a blended family, so she doesn't want to even be bothered with that either. She'd rather reach a compromise with Future, even though she isn't counting in it.

😈Will Eliza get what she asks for in child support?😈

In all honesty, the amount she asked for may not be what she gets. I feel it might actually be lowered. There is still a matter of paternity, so whether or not she will get a check is currently unclear, but as of right now a negotiation is still taking place.

😈Is Lori Harvey pregnant?😈

I don't see pregnancy for her at this time but I do see some hurt around if she were to get pregnant she doesn't feel she will get support from future I feel she wants to be careful in that regard in a way Laurie doesn't want to bring any issues into what they have going on and she respects his preference not to have kids or embarrass him I also feel like she already has his BMs; it feels like 3 of them are trouble out of the 5, but 1 in particular he still deals with taunts Lori with still having close ties to Future (the type that be like 'I still talk to him', 'he just left my house', 'how my pussy taste?' ass BM). She wouldn't feel at all welcome to his 'tribe'. It is a possibility that it can still happen if she isn't careful, but I don't feel it for her right now.

😈Does Future 'sleep around' on Lori Harvey?😈

He does. It is usually when they aren't together (like when either of them are removed from one another, by way of distance or time), but yes, he has flings as well as a 'favorite BM'. I actually feel like they broke up a little bit because of that, & I don't think their relationship was the same after. To put it plainly he has 'community dick'.

Now, let's let this marinate & watch it unfold 👀

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

Text

Ali & Caleb

Ali: Do we know when Carly's funeral is going to be yet? Ali: I need to come back but I don't want to pester her parents...I sent a message but no response Caleb: I did too and got nothing either Caleb: I'm feeling they dont want us to be knowing Ali: Think so too Ali: Which is rich considering Ali: Trying to be understanding but where have they been Ali: I know I was away too but Caleb: you kept in touch Caleb: they haven't met their grandchild yet, have they? That's their vibe Caleb: imma leave them in peace but its not cool Ali: everything is so fucked Ali: how did this happen Caleb: never seen my mum madder Caleb: she's not praying for them saving 'em up for indie & drew Caleb: you gotta make sure you handle your own goodbye Ali: Can't blame her Ali: thank God she and Meena were there or they could both be gone Ali: What the hell is going to happen now Ali: Yeah, I'll have to, I don't think we're getting in to the real funeral but, it won't be her anyway Ali: they don't know her Caleb: I wish I had been, caught my mum crying hard later & that was before all this Caleb: she's down to take her in but I dunno if he'll allow it Caleb: Carly's parents could take her still its mad here rn Ali: I owe her big time, I didn't know what else to do, she wouldn't go to Hospital so I can't be sorry I did it but I am sorry for the fucking trauma of it all Ali: In a way, that might be better for her, but then...they've not done a good job with Carly, have they? Would they let history repeat itself Ali: but Drew, fuck Caleb: it's all good, like nah, but as far as my mum goes Caleb: you did the right thing Caleb: I dunno man they might be feeling like they're getting a second chance with her but will it be? Caleb: you heard from him? Caleb: im blocked Ali: Thanks, I'm doubting everything I did and said now Ali: but I really tried Ali: I truly don't know what's for the best but it will have to be worked out Ali: Poor baby Ali: No, not since this whole...mess Ali: I think he genuinely feels guilt for this one Caleb: You handled shit better than I could. Better than most I think Caleb: Estou orgulhoso de ti, querida. Caleb: yeah my heart's breaking to look at her Caleb: He won't let me help him & truth be that I don't even know where to start Caleb: No idea what he wants, you know Caleb: could be what the kid needs but as easy could not be Ali: You're too nice for your own good Ali: He probably feels like he doesn't deserve it, and rightly so frankly but not going to spite Indie just to prove a point Ali: She's so innocent Ali: Oh God Ali: I'd do it myself but the social would never sign off on that Ali: who am I, like Ali: She's got family Caleb: I ain't feeling it. I'm raging Caleb: I get that I don't get to speak on it, and he's hurting so I'm not going there but I dunno how he could let her go like that Caleb: With the bab there Caleb: Shit's beyond fucked Caleb: We could try. You were Carly's family Caleb: She'd want you looking out for indie Ali: I don't know Ali: It was hard to know how to help her Ali: but he didn't even try Ali: well, from what we can see from our outside perspective Ali: she seemed to think he did but Ali: I don't fucking know Ali: It really is, thank God Indie won't remember any of this Ali: Drew will have to, and that's his punishment Ali: I asked Mum, its pretty much a no go, if she got put in the system, if none of them claimed her, then maybe, but not whilst I'm at Uni and away and I already have too many kids to deal with by standards Ali: especially for a single parent, they wouldn't favour me over a nice, older well-off couple with everything to give Caleb: She wanted to bounce so says my mum, he shoulda let her do what she needed to do, she had to be in shock having her way it went Caleb: gotta keep your babies safe they're defenseless Caleb: anything could've happened them playing at family how they did Caleb: Filho da mãe! Caleb: Okay but hear me out...what if we went at this together? Caleb: You still got your ring, you're still my missus, legal or nah Caleb: se você me tiver eu estou disposto Ali: She did, she had, she told me where she was Ali: I just think its too easy to think over all this now Ali: its plausible he was trying to keep her safe by bringing her back, its not out there Ali: arguably was safer who knows where she would've ended up Ali: its happened regardless of all the what-ifs and woulda coulda shoulda Ali: better focusing on what we can all do now, Drew included Ali: See, too nice Ali: Of course I do Ali: I still don't think it'll happen but of course we can try Ali: if it comes to that Caleb: True Caleb: He was outta his depth, feeling like he could get Carly to turn it all around, let his kid have the ma he never Caleb: It's sad man Caleb: Good Caleb: We can't worry on that yet but I've been stressing over you out there on your own Caleb: Can I hit you with another idea? Ali: Yeah, exactly Ali: Very fucking sad Ali: Oh, I'm fine, like, not right now but, you know Ali: Go for it Caleb: Try not to get vexed at me for sneaking but it's been a while Caleb: I've been hitting up job offers round you and they've said yeah to some part time things Caleb: I wanna come out, help with the kids more than ever now Caleb: What you think? Ali: You're serious? Ali: I think its the best news I've had in a long while Ali: Well done you! Caleb: what happened got me thinking Caleb: and its the only thing that makes sense Caleb: us all together, you feel me? Caleb: It won't be easy but neither is this rn Ali: I've been feeling the same Ali: but I was too scared to put it out there Ali: Family should be all that matters Ali: the rest is just bullshit to deal with Ali: the kids are going to be so excited when are you coming Caleb: my bad for leaving you hanging this long but I didn't wanna mess you around, not only with the job, you know Caleb: but my heart's sure Caleb: I dunno what I'd do if shit happened to you, cos you're my baby mama yeah, but cos you're you too Caleb: I still feel the same, not trying to change it these days Caleb: Gotta help Gus get my cuz ready to do my thing but won't take no time Ali: Not at all, it had to be right Ali: It would be all the more painful and wrong if you came and we couldn't make it work Ali: I love you Caleb: I love you too Caleb: You've been all on my mind since I last saw you and thats how I want it Ali: Wait Ali: before you commit fully I have something to tell you Ali: might change your mind, I don't know so you need to know now before Caleb: You can tell me Caleb: I'm listening Ali: [Sends bump pic] Ali: About 5/6 months Ali: Your Bday, Christmas, remember? Ali: I didn't say because Ali: Last time Ali: I've not told anyone else though, no one Caleb: Shit man! You been dealing on your own Caleb: That's so rough, Ali Caleb: You should've said, hit up your fam if not me Caleb: I get not wanting to say it but I gotta ask, was there anyone else on the scene? Caleb: I know what I think but I need to hear it Ali: It was worst for you but Ali: it wasn't exactly easy to tell them Ali: I know they were all disappointed or disgusted or whatever else valid feelings but it wasn't fun Ali: No, no one else Caleb: We gotta tell them Caleb: Mine too Caleb: What's the story? What's the doctor said? Are you both good? Ali: Yeah, my blood pressure's a bit high but to be expected, I told him I ain't got no time to chill Ali: are you happy? Ali: do you think anyone will be? or have i had one too many to soon to get the congrats now Caleb: I'm gonna make time for you to chill Caleb: Swear down Caleb: Eu nunca estive mais feliz Caleb: And they'll be happy for us too. Trust Ali: That would be nice Ali: don't think I've stopped since I came here Ali: If they aren't, they aren't Ali: Its coming, like Caleb: I'll rush through what I gotta do here, be with you sooner Caleb: More I can do to take care of the bubs the more you can have that you time Caleb: I'm not slipping on you or this baby, you're gonna be all good Caleb: Gus'll throw us a party, he misses you like I do Ali: You don't need to do that, tho no shade to your cuz but some talent you just can't teach Ali: #natural Ali: I miss him too, I miss everyone Ali: Oh shit Ali: Has anyone told Ro? Did she even know Carly was pregnant Ali: We've not spoken much, I've tried to give her space, let her live her Uni dreams Ali: Fuck Caleb: You don't need to hype me but I'll allow it Caleb: yeah no lie I'm a bit scared about heading over gotta be done for my culinary arts tho like, keep the restaurant game fresh for my fam Caleb: Oh damn! Meena maybe? I dunno Caleb: She swerves me & everything happened fast Ali: You're gonna love it Ali: I've found so many amazing places already, I can't wait to show you Ali: Even Junie's trying new things Ali: I'll have to ask her, God I hope so Ali: If not, oddly maybe it'll be best coming from me? Seems wrong but Ali: she knows I was friends with Carly Caleb: That's my boy 💪💚 Caleb: I'm excited too, trust Caleb: yeah we all felt the love Caleb: Hope she didn't hear it from the wrong peeps but it'll be what it is Ali: I dread to think how fast the rumour mill be spinning Ali: Wankers Caleb: Least she got that distance Caleb: You're the furthest and closest Caleb: I hate that it's gotta be this way for you Ali: I'm just glad I got to know her Ali: I was lucky enough, none of them were so Ali: say what they like, they did when she was alive, like Caleb: I should've known her better Caleb: I knew what Drew was doing Ali: We all did Ali: what could we have done? stop him? stop her? Ali: they both made choices, even if they were poor ones, or made not in their best state and mind Caleb: True Caleb: I let him make a lot of bad choices, shit went on too long Caleb: It's not on me to pull him back anymore I got focus elsewhere Ali: You can't blame yourself for him Ali: its his to shoulder Ali: yeah, a lot of bad shit happened to him but, he's made a lot of it happen since Ali: not his excuse of a Ma Ali: she's not been around for a long time Ali: Meena still manages to be good and do the right thing, y'know? Caleb: Exactly Caleb: He's grown now and he needs to act it more than he's been Caleb: There are two kids in this Caleb: Behaving like her isn't what he wants but we can't do the changing for him Caleb: It wasn't on Carly to help me out with that either Ali: Right, though, clearly he won't acknowledge Edie unless I'm dead Ali: Fucked up thing to say but more fucked up that its real Ali: I know Ali: but she loved him, she wanted to Ali: he shoulda treated her so much better, she gave him everything she had and for what? Caleb: over my dead body would he mess that kids head and life up if you weren't here Caleb: it's not right Caleb: I don't feel I know him nowadays Ali: I know Ali: you're a better Dad to her than he could ever be Ali: just the truth Ali: I know Ali: its a shame but you and your fam have done all you can for him Ali: can only wait and see what he does now Caleb: I'd adopt her but I'm hoping against hope he'll wanna be her dad Caleb: But if not now when like? Caleb: Now he's got to take care of Indie alone that's the excuse he needs Caleb: shit man Caleb: he doesn't deserve either of those girls Ali: She'll know Ali: we don't need a piece of paper to make it official Ali: she feels the 💚 Ali: No matter what happens, we have to look after Indie too, okay? Ali: Make sure she's good Ali: Promise Caleb: I promise you Caleb: nothing's gonna happen to any of these kids on my watch Caleb: she'll feel the love too, all we've got Caleb: 5 babies or 15, gonna keep my word Ali: Same Ali: we're not doing a bad job, are we? Ali: I don't want to prove everyone right Caleb: We've been slipping but it'll be all good when we're together again Caleb: Better with you than without Caleb: And we've always done the bubs right no matter what Ali: Yeah Ali: You're right Ali: haters got me trippin' Ali: don't tell Caleb: I'll pick you up on the quiet Caleb: when you going to the doctors again? I'll time my trip so I can be with Ali: its not 'til next month Ali: so that should actually work out reasonably well? Caleb: Fated Ali: if not its only a checkup so its chill Ali: but we can aim for it Caleb: Sooner the better for me Caleb: Don't tell the kids I wanna show up and see them lose their shit like on the vids Ali: That will be too cute for words Caleb: forreal Caleb: Imma try and get Junie on the songs cos I got my girls to help me Caleb: he's already a chatterbox we halfway to it Ali: they've learnt this Malay nursery rhyme Ali: its sick, they're so good at it Ali: I'll let them show you when you come Caleb: they can teach me Caleb: gimme a leg up Ali: Yeah, and Mandarin Ali: like, you'd get along fine with English but its so much more fun and just respectful to try Ali: I want them to learn as much as they can whilst we're here Ali: and wherever else we end up Caleb: I feel that Caleb: I got an app on my phone but with everything that's been going down I haven't tried Caleb: Sampled some fusion cooking tho which'll be sick now I've got more peeps to get stuck into eating it Caleb: Getting a belly here Ali: 😍 Ali: oh I've missed you Caleb: won't have to for much longer 💚 Caleb: i'll be counting down them training days honest Ali: speaking of Ali: gotta run Ali: got class in an hour and best believe i need all this time to get those kids out the door Caleb: oh I be knowing Caleb: go get your genius on Ali: talk soon ✌ Ali: love you Caleb: te amo 💚💙💜

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