#i'm really open to seeing how it ends up
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I don't want to speak too much on the "if Jack is portrayed as manipulative or otherwise Bad for Keeley it is problematic on part of the writers because they are our only wlw ship and that is bad queer rep" conversation, because while I definitely do have my own thoughts, I can also see both sides of the argument and at the end of the day, I think it's a very personal thing that is going to vary for each of us.
What I will say is that I both appreciated 1) the stark conversation between Rebecca and Keeley, particularly how real Rebecca's concerns felt and how respectfully she voiced them without it being "Jack is just as bad as Rupert and you need to stay away" and 2) That Keeley took that, thought about it, and made an effort to establish boundaries with Jack, who then agreed to take a step back. They had an open and productive conversation about it like adults.
Whether Jack will follow through on the stepping back...well, we'll find out. I will say the part that most concerned me was Jack telling Keeley she can be the jealous type, followed by Jack paying for Keeley & Rebecca's dinner. Keeley herself seemed visibly uncomfortable with this, but it was unclear if that was just because she could suddenly see what Rebecca was talking about, or perhaps had additional concerning realizations (Had Jack prodded Keeley for a bunch of information about this night out beforehand? Where she was going and when and who with etc.? Something Keeley might have taken as just general interest and conversation at the time, but now has different undertones?) Ultimately, it felt overbearing and possessive in a "I want to remind you I'm still here while you're out with a friend and that is why I will foot the bill" way.
It IS so early in the relationship and Jack IS coming on strong. It felt like planting the seeds for a quick break between them, to me. That said, I certainly don't think Jack is "Keeley's Rupert" like some people are saying. And I never know quite what this show is going to do, so I have no doubt there will be at least a few surprises along the way.
#keeley jones#jack danvers#ted lasso#ted lasso spoilers#i'm really open to seeing how it ends up#and i don't hate Jack of course. we barely know her!#but I also don't love the relationship (for various reasons. some of which are sheer personal preference others that feel more discourse-y)#(see the above lol)#(and to speak a teeny tiny bit on the first part: my opinion is that our good wlw representation is KEELEY F*CKING JONES)#(regardless of whether this relationship works out or who she ends up with... if anyone)#(but i understand why it is a very complicated issue)
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.~
#not a vent just a journal entry (feel free to scroll past; there is no snz here and this is also not that interesting)#realizing now that i never thought of myself as#someone whose absence would register to others in any other way than just neutral/detached recognition?#phrasing this really badly and i am truly going to delete this later bc it is embarrassing LOL#i think when i was young and posting all this fic into questionable places (the f*rum) i was like#(@ an unfinished work of mine) no way anyone could be bothered by these cliffhangers 👍 they can just imagine the ending#even though i would frequently be bothered by other people's cliffhangers. that exact same principle just wouldn't apply to me in my head#and when i did not respond to people i was like.. i'm sure i wasn't really an important part of their lives so they won't mind it#if i stepped away?#i never really entertained the concept of people missing me or looking forward to my responses 😭 i never thought of myself as someone worth#missing... so when i disappeared it was always with little to no sense of guilt. i think even now i struggle with#seeing myself as someone that inhabits like a tangible enough space in other people's lives that my absence would be felt#(and i don't mean that in a morbid way. and i do recognize that it's quite hypocritical)#on the flipside of things i frequently miss people and look forward to their responses. and sometimes i wonder like#do they all know? do they all know that i miss them because they somehow understand this aspect of human nature better than i do?#or are they in the dark like i am? are these things assumed or are they only known when they are said... 😭#i am a little bit of a coward so i am not saying anything (also because can you even say this kind of thing to someone??#i would probably die of embarrassment) but#how strange it is to have someone suddenly inhabit a space in your life that is substantial enough that#when they're gone you feel that space open up and you miss them#the few times in my life people have conveyed that sentiment to me i remember feeling puzzled that my presence could have that kind of#weight to them. i think my problem is that i purposefully do not read between the lines if the conclusion is something favorable towards me#because i don't want to bank on something good that might or might not be true 😭 anyways this is way too long already. if you read this#then good morning or goodnight
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I'm just gonna rant rq about dmc and the recent news
I get itsuno left and twt lowkey is all gloomy (I'm a little sad too) but I'm excited and interested to see what he'll cook up next. As for the series I'm ofc not sure we'll get a sixth but considering dmc v had a lot of popularity compared to the previous games I have a little hope Capcom won't abandon it. I also think dmc will gain some more popularity with the upcoming anime and renew interest in the series. I would love to see a new game but if it happens to be left alone, I think five has a good open ending.
#also idk if i'm making much sense i'm currently tired and have too much coffee in my system#but as someone who used to be really into hannibal and hoped for a s4 that never came#i get the sadness and disappointment when it comes to a fav series being abandoned/discontinued or whatever#but i personally can't see capcom leaving dmc to rest. not with v having such an open ending in addition to the anime coming up#kinda hope they don't do a remake bc i like the series how it is tbh#anyway mb for the tired rant yall twt got to me lmfao#devil may cry#saint shut up
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MacGyver (2016) s1e12 Screwdriver | Cold Open
#anyways back to your (ir)regularly scheduled cold opens#macgyver 2016#macgyver#jack dalton#angus macgyver#video#one thing I've always loved was how they slowed down the salt n pepa to his drugged singing. flawless no notes 10/10#I have so many thoughts about this opening I couldn't possibly put them all into the tags so ill just settle for a few key things#I Must mention Jack calling Mac his boy. never fails to make me smile + almost brings a tear to my eye. “I really love the little guy”#what if I ended it alllllllllll AUGHHHH#“shutting up”P popping the p. the wink. the “oh I think that's for you. hehe☺️” George Eads didn't have to be so funny and yet he did. bles#the horror on his face as he sees the sauce under the door. perfection.know the poor guy thought it was real at first and I am living for i#plus affectionate and clingy jack is one of the best jacks imo#jack#mac#cold opens#mac + jack#and one of these days I'm gonna write a scenario where the roles are reversed. because we were robbed of seeing sodium pentothal mac#god. sorry for the rambling. hey if youve made it this far thank you ur a real one#also if you have any requests for cold opens or scenes you want posted dont hesitate to shoot me a message👍
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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Well.
#(I'm back)#It was. Uhm. A chapter#First of all: I'm ENDLESSLY GRATEFUL to the person who sent me the translation basically as soon as the chapter came out.#I even did like 90% of typesetting but didn't finish it because I had to go out#(aka with my friends were literally knocking out at my room and I couldn't make it any more late lol)#Mixed feelings about it? Mostly because there's so much exposition... I'll need to reread it another three times before it sinks in#The color page is AMAZING 10000000000000/10 I love my sskks so much they're so cute I love them so much they're so cute.#Easily the best part of the chapter.#The color page was? Very very pretty too? Like a lot more than usual if you ask me! I can't wait for the volume cover 🥺🥺#It should come out soon shouldn't it? Usually color spreads / pages open the volume...#Akutagawa fake dying again is funny. Like it isssss but also. Idk it's a little lame how we're changing the pov from ss/kk again :/#I can't even tell if I'm being biased or if it's an actual storytelling critique. I don't care right now I just want to see Akutagawa–#being cool rather than. You know. Dead on the ground.#That said! It's also very funny and touches my sense of humor precisely.#Like yeah Akutagawa being like the second strongest pm member and overall one of the most powerful ability user in the world–#that everyone fears (and I know he is! He is indeed for real!)#And yet he always ends up face to the ground 😂😂😂 Like if we don't count the ss/kk fights he literally only ever won against Hawthorne.#And even then he failed to kill him and Mitchell. It's so funny to me. I love him. He's so pathetic#“Wow! Akutagawa is so cool and invincible now!” *ends up biting the dust not even two chapters later*#It's okay because I love him. He's very very powerful and he's also very very pathetic I love that for him#That said :/ I don't really care about Fukuzawa :/ Idk :/ Like :/#Don't get me wrong I LOVE Fukuzawa (I don't. I'm mostly neutral towards him) but this is the ss/kk moment man :/ Whatchu doin#That's about it. Let's see what the next chapter brings!#Everything accounted for I'm glad there wasn't like. A ss/kk kiss or any other big big ss/kk moment#(although Atsushi admiring Akutagawa and thinking about his eyes has its fair share of neatness to it!!)#Because with everything going on this evening I really would have been let down to miss it#But I keep hope for the next chapters!! Please...#random rambles#Had tons of fun typesetting! Even though I don't think there's a point in posting it now. But would love to do it again in the future!#bsd spoilers
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(。・ω・。)ノ♡
#Alright I got tragically interrupted while watching it but I'm finally finished watching the episode!!#It's really really good both the animation and drawings are very detailed compared to the rest of the anime but...#The pace is so off :((( Like it's not the end of the world but ugh. It's unfortunate...#So many things just don't hit off as deeply because everything is moving so fast all the time and there's no time to process anything.#They won't allow you one second for the last line of a scene to sink in that the next scene's ost is already playing.#And like it's not even the worst crime an anime can commit I guess but still...#I wish they didn't. Like rather than make a 13 episodes season and squeeze the Sky Casino arc in merely two episodes it would have been–#a lot better to finish the season at the previous episode and make 12 episodes out of everything (so that everything could be better paced)#Like yeah maybe it's not the best season ending that there can be but... It's not terrible either‚ you have Atsushi saying the line–#“there's still hope” and the season ending there‚ that's pretty cool#I don't know why everyone feels like they have to rush all the time.#Guys do I have to be the one to remind you you make more money if more season come out.#Like how can the knowledge of Sigma being made by the book have any kind of impact when we've only known him for ten minutes.#Teruko's looking mad AND looking cutesy AND blowing up the landing zone didn't have the same comedic effect they did in the manga because..#It just happened all together! There's no time to process anything. Or maybe I'm just slow idk but I mean YOU GOTTA–#MAKE TIME FOR THE OPENING AND ENDING IN THE EPISODE c'mon man#Sorry I'm complaining it's actually good. I really really love Teruko & Tachihara. Jouno too!!!#I liked the Tahihara spotlight this episode... It's so cute to see what he's like when he's not acting– well‚ not completely I guess#Mmmmhhh.#Yesterday I read an interesting post on how a lot of early dc/mk wouldn't work today because the technology of the world has changed SO muc#I think a similar reflection can be made for the doa terrorist plot. Countries are pushing towards a complete digital money transition.#In 50 years or so coins may not be circulating anymore and today already the impact of this terrorist plot would be a lot smaller–#compared to when the chapters were coming out. I think#Well. Nice episode! Forward to next week! If tomorrow's manga chapter hasn't killed me before that#random rambles
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the scene where the doctor tells kate that he doesn't have kids yet is such a crazy ass thing to say just randomly but i love how when kate tells him that she never knew he had a granddaughter based off of the stories her father told her as a child, he tells her "I was a different Doctor back then, Kate. Great enigma. Still can't shake it off. I'm trying." which is so heartbreaking and it crushes me because it's already so apparent how badly he wants to change from this closed off, holds everything in his heart and then one day he'll die type of person. he wants to be better than that. for himself, for his friends. and he fails sometimes too, he gets closed off, like in rogue, he just tries to move on but ruby doesn't let him. but even that, he doesn't hug her fully, with all of his grief and fear. he's still holding back, but he's trying. and it hurts him. he's trying to be open and truthful and with that openness i feel like he's realizing just how painful life is without all those fortified walls up, how deeply grief can seep into him, but inversely, how fierce he can love and hate and fear and hope!!! everything is brighter and burns hotter when those barricades are down and its for the best and worst
#like rings of ahkaten eleven screaming at a god eating at his memories is 15 every other episode#how exhausting. i love him for it#it's just so sad but so lovely to see#i'm still thinking about him and 12. i don't have time for the luxury of outrage versus let it all seep into me like an open wound#so i can grieve them like they deserve so i can remember them like they deserve so i can love them like they deserve#two different ways of going about it that i feel are both justifiable ways to cope#because it's not just walls up to protect himself it's walls up to protect the ones he loves as well#whether or not that ends up helping in the end it hard to say but its the intention with this discussion yes? lol#ncuti really exemplifies this era of the doctor in a way i dont think anyone else could#doctor who#doctor who spoilers#im so tired sorry if this is hard to read#just my post ep babbles#talk.txt
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I'll be completely honest the gojo letters irked me just a lil bit
#did he have nothing else to say??? no only nobara had an interesting reaction regarding the information????#IS THIS HOW WE'RE TYING UP THE LOOSE END OF GOJO TALKING TO HIS FUCKING KIDS BC IF SO I HATE IT#we have yet to see his conversation with yuuji and maybe it's all left so open bc he can come back but idk#no one's fucking mourning him??? really???#like I'm not gonna talk about sukuna bc it went exactly the way I thought it would#most character deaths have the same vibe of just happening real quick so that's fine I don't mind it#but wow everyone went back to normal so quick WHAT ABOUT THE MERGER???#is it just not happening bc megumi can start or stop it whenever???#kenjaku died for literally nothing???#before it was in the heat of battle so we could overlook things but now there's only three chapters left and SO much to talk about#but I think yuuta and gojo are gonna survive bc they still have so many loose ends#jjk 268#jjk spoilers
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All I know about the new descendants movie is osmosis from tumblr and combining that with the media I think of when someone says Alice in Wonderland is making for tbh the movie in my brain is probs very different than what I've heard the new one is like.
And that media is the Royal Ballet's Alice in Wonderland. Its a lovely comic ballet, and my favourite dances are The Mad Hatter's Tea Party (tap! in a ballet! also in this clip played by Steven McRae, who i want to know more about and watch more of his stuff as i have heard good things about from other dancers I know), and the Tart Adage, which is frickin hilarious. (also the way that the King of Hearts just droops around in the background and its like yup. thats Red's dad apparently.)
So uh everyone should watch these clips simply because they're amazing and I love them.
youtube
youtube
#also i'm aware to an extent that the mad hatter or like his son or something is in the film#but i choose to ignore that character#as my brain already created a mad hatter kid oc and i dont want to part with her or change her#the oc is fully inspired by the ballet's mad hatter#his dancing#tap#and manner#and also colour scheme and outfit#her name is Rhiannon because i like the sound and also can be shortened to Riri which is fun and also the sound of rhi sounds like the end#of mercury#and mercury poisoning in hatters may be like the reason the hatter is the character he is#so fun times#her colour scheme is like a more toned down version of the hatter in the ballet#pinks and greens#with a fashion style that draws from a whole lot of eras from the last century and a half#nearly 200 years really#and also i have this half baked tap routine in my head to ALICE by PEGGY that i adore so that ties in nicely#also idk how much the film used wonderland#or backwards logic but im sure it was not enough#especially with mundane things#Riri shows up on her first day in a 1960s inspired shift dress like oh yeah i wore this because i didnt want to take up too much space in#my luggage#i packed the stuff that would take up the least room#open up her suitcases#eleventy billion petticoats spill out that definitely would take up more room than a shift dress#i love the 60s for her#especially with the wild patterns and colour combos you can see#also twiggy inspired eye looks#descendants#disney descendants
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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖
Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝
The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️
For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3
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PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!
~
Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.
Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).
Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)
The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.
Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.
You awake?
Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.
He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.
“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.
“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”
“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.
Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.
“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”
A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.
“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.
“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.
“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”
Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.
“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”
“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.
“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”
Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.
“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.
“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”
“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.
The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.
“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.
He had to steel himself for his next question.
“What do you mean?”
“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.
A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.
“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’
“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.
“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”
Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.
“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”
“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”
Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.
“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”
“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”
Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)
“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”
Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.
“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”
That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.
“Probably not half as much as I did.”
Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.
If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.
It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.
Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇
Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.
yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤
From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.
#blind channel fanfiction#blind channel rpf#ollixallu#24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling#<- that's the tag i'll be using for these btw#everyone stop and look at the banner!! 🥺💖#it's not QUITE like the original one ju made first but maybe one day you'll get to see that masterpiece as well 😏#but ooff the way i've gone from having 'a plan' to having 'a better plan' to having 'no plan whatsoever' with this? 😂#so yeah idk what kinda fics/posts there'll be in this series... stay tuned and see for yourself! 🤭#some of them might be in the same universe/plot. others may not. who knows? not i 😌#(...but as you can see from this fic the door for a multiple-part story is definitely open 👀)#some of the fics may not even be based on a prompt though if i'm not feeling like it. honestly i'm curious to see how this will turn out!#(and if this ends up being the only post i ever make that's alright too! i refuse to bully myself with a hobby i'm doing for free <3)#however: i'm not taking requests per say BUT feel free to snoop on the prompts for each day and send me your ideas or hopeful wishes 👀#there are certain ones i'm more drawn to but i haven't really set anything in stone#one could say i'm just going with the flow. fuck around and find out if you will ✨#also: not sure if/when i'll be bothered to post any of these on ao3#probably i'll just see how many fics i manage to actually finish and dump them all at once on ao3 on christmas day lol#anyway! enjoy & let me hear from you <3
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Growling biting hissing screaming Tumblr dot com doesn't have a real fandom for Requiem For A Dream crying screaming throwing up
Tw: caps and drug mentioned
WHENEVER I OPEN THE TAG FOR THIS MOVIE IT'S ALL ABOUT MARIAM AND HARRY'S LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND GIF/SCREENSHOTS ABOUT THEIR LOVE AND ITS SOOO FRUSTRATING
Like it's nice that people can relate to their love but THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT HOW DRUGS RUINED THEIR LIVES. WHY DO I HAVE TO OPEN YOUTUBE AND GOOGLE TO SEE DISCUSSIONS ABOUT IT???!! WHY CANT WE TALK ABOUT THE WAY SHOTS ARE DONE AND HOW ACTORS KILLED IT AND HOW SAD THEIR LIVES HAVE BECAME AND HOW NEITHER SARAH NOR HARRY KNOWS HOW TERRIBLE EACH OTHER BECAME BECAUSE OF DRUGS???
Sarah, if she even has consciousness at this point, is probably thinking at least her dear, handsome son is studying at a great university and doing better than her; while Harry could only wish that his dear mother is doing much better than how him and his friends are doing.
AND WHAT ABOUT SARAH'S NEIGHBOURS?? THEY SUGGESTED THE FAKE/BAD DOCTOR TO HER, SO SHE CAN LOOSE WEIGHT FASTER! THEY WERE CLEARLY HORRIFIED TO SEE HER GET OUT OF HER HOUSE TOWARDS THE END OF THE MOVIE BECAUSE SARAH WAS HORRIBLE?? WHAT ABOUT THE GUILT OF KILLING YOUR CLOSE FRİEND UNINTENTIONALLY??
AND MARIAM LITERALLY GAVE HER BODY TO PAY THE BILLS AND TYSON GOT LOCKED UP IN PRISON FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE AND HARRY LOST HIS ARM AND SARAH FUCKING DIED (?) AND AAAA
Why the fans (?) here are not talking about the characters and events of this movie instead of posting the same sex/love scene between Marian and Harry 74747th time???? Their love is just the part of this movie, but it's not what it is about!!!
#badger posts shit#requiem for a dream#2000s movies#btw i'm sure if i'm remembering Sarah's friends seeing her scene towards the end or making it up#the one before she went on the bus/metro to join to show#ALSO DONT EVEN TELL ME THAT THIS MOVIE IS OLD THEREFORE IT'S NOT REALLY CARED FOR#M A A A AAANY CLASSIC HORROR MOVIES THAT ARE FAMOUS STILL TO THIS DAY ARE FROM THE SAME AREA AS REQUIEM FOR A DREAM!!!!#IF YOU CAN LOVE SAW AND FINAL DESTINATION AND FRIDAY THE 13TH AND SCREAM AND HALLOWEEN; THAN YOU CAN LOVE RFAD TOO#IT DESERVES TO BE FAMOUS AND GET DISCUSSES ABOUT TOO FFS!! NOT TO BE TURNED INTO ANOTHER ONE OF TUMBLR'S LOVE STORY POSTS#THIS MOVIE IS NOT ANOUT MARIAM AND HARRY'S LOVE ITS ABOUT ADDICTION AND DRŰGS AND HOW IT RUINS LIVES#btw its fine if Mariam and Harry's love gives you comfort idc.#but its so fucking frustrating for me to open the tags for this movie only to see Mariam and Harry kissing and fűcking each other 558th time#instead of reading discussions about the movie#i was watching the movie with my mom and her friend and THAT ARM scene made us all gag because it was just so gross but in a good way#because you as an audience can see how fucked up his arm was - even Tyson could see it and reacted to it -#but Harry decided to Do It anyways! and it ended up turning into a Bad Thing for him (trying to be as vauge as possible lol)#WHY WE HAGE NO DISCUSSION ABOUT THE INFECTED (?) ARM SCENE??!! AND SARAH'S HALLUCINATIONS?#AND REST OF THE MOVIE AND ACTORS LIKE A FANDOM INSTEAD OF POSTING THE THING OVER AND OVER???
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ok but fr why am i still watching call the midwife lol!!?!?
#like what... what are they doing lol#like i love u trixie but like... why are u here after all that ridiculous faff from the last series lol??#also dont... dont even talk to me baout what's happening w/ cyril and whatever that nurse is called#i'm ... like what????#like if they wanted to give him another romance story then maybe ? make him get divorced first or smth lol??#idk it's weirddd#i also just feel like the general stories are kinda lame w/ no real stakes#and yet i am still watching !? why lol#(i know why it's because i still have a fondness and love for the characters despite everything lol...)#personal#kinda hoping this doesnt end up in the tag cos the last time i complained about it it did#like if u see this in that tag im sorrry i hate it when my negative posts end up in fandom tags lol#wait im not done the other thing is they had the opportunity to do an interesting thing w/ the sex worker std thing#but idk it just felt like they weren't really saying anything there lol??#like it could've gone into how the illegality of sex work is often what leads to people's reticence about revealing they visited the places#and for a thing that is specifically bout an infectious disease that requires people to be open#it could open up an interesting dialogue about that#but idk#i'm hoping the more they get into the 70s things will get more interesting?#since there's a LOT of v interesting progressive things that happened in that time period tbh#idk no one is gonna care about this other than me i am aware pfft
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might be silly and write bullet points for a possible tears of the kingdom fic 🫶
#i really like the lore we got but i can never let go of my first thoughts when seeing the opening of the game#i thought rauru was the original hero of legend#not skyward sword link but The Hero. hylia's hero#and i thought zelda would be accompanied by a zonai of her own who'd be hylia#i thought the statue at the end of every shrine were the first zelda (ss zelda basically) and hylia#and i Know the lore between games doesn't have to match up#but botw had the perfect excuse of being set like 10k years in the future so it made every past game possible#and then totk was like lol we're going back to the start of the timeline and it's Not skyward sword#it's personally annoying TO ME ‼️#so i want to write that version that lives in my head#where the zonai are the original species and some ascended into gods#hence farore. din. and nayru being dragons#i'm also annoyed totk ganondorf is like a mixture betwee demise and oot ganondorf#tf you mean he was trapped under eath hyrule castle?? did he not reincarnate during that time?? aside from manifesting as calamity twice??#is totk not the beginning of the timeline. instead its “past timeline” is just what happens before botw but not any of the other games#hyrule how has it been more than 10k and you haven't invented the industrial revolution#i digress sorry for the tags bible#pia writes fanfic
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Always felt hesitant to make Diona an adopted daughter to Lynn bc I was afraid it wouldn't make sense, but after some brainstorming and thinking- screw canon at this point honestly
She is indeed Lynn's adopted daughter and nobody can stop me <3
#DRAFF (diona's father) IS DEAD 🦀🦀🦀🦀 FUCK THAT GUY IMMENSELY.#anyway so diona is uh. parentless now so she's taken care of by the cat's tail staff for the time being#lynn hears abt this situation during one of the times she visits mondstadt#she opens up abt her feelings on the matter to lisa- who's all too intent in listening /lh /pos#long story short: she really feels bad for diona and kinda admits she'd wants to take care of her and give her the love she needs from-#-a parent. lisa casually suggests adopting her and lynn is taken back and surprised bc. hey HEY. /lh#“I don't think I'm... fit to be a mother. let alone ready-” “nonsense dear. with the way I see it- you're perfectly capable for the role.”#it takes some convincing but in the end- lynn agrees and they set up all the proper documents for it + lets diona know abt it by asking her-#-to go to the favonius headquarters to meet with lynn#it's a touching moment I feel. diona definitely cries and clings onto lynn when she explains she wanted to adopt her#she felt hesitant still but seeing this child put so much trust in her? she slowly felt confident to provide the care she needed#SO NOW DIONA TRAVELS WITH LYNN AND THEYRE A LOVELY MOTHER DAUGHTER DUO OUDHGEHFHDNGSH#unsure abt when this takes place tho... does it happen after lynn is married or before she meets teppe1?#how funny and surprising would it be for teppe1 to find out the woman he fell for has a daughter#I don't wanna subject diona to the war but teppe1's reaction is a funny thought#🌸 lin speaks!!
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:/
#A good episode. Nice animation. It's suuuuuuch a shame things had to go downhilla right for episode 3 like... That's such an awful timing#And I'm like very evry positive I'm not making stuff up. I will let drawings quality slide since that's a matter of personal taste#But the animation is infinitely more static in ep3.#There's endless shots (that literally span for minutes. I know I've counted) where nothing happens. It's so hhhhhhhhhhhh#(Btw for anyone who forgot / wasn't there at the time: the first 3 season 5 episodes had to be ready earlier for an early screening.#That's why they had to rush to make them and the quality suffered for it in the last episode in particular.)#Sorry for being redoundant but you know how it is. I'm ss/kk-manifesto. I'll be complaining about s5ep3 till the end of Tumblr#Back to the real ep1 in question... It was so nice!!!#I take issues with the amv opening because seriously. Don't release a season if you're not ready to release a season. No one will get mad#But other than that the animation and drawings were very nice. This arc makes me a little emotional.#It's funny how you can see the anime editing staff gradually get really into chromatic aberration lol.#Like it's always been present as far as I can remember–#but it went from season 1 being used very sporadically to s5ep1 being used in every single shot lol.#It's okay tho it's not bothersome the slightest. It gives some kinf of depth to the shot I suppose.#Even funnier that Harukawa has been using it a lot in their last colour illustrations as well ahah.#Last chapter it was very noticeable both in the chapter cover and color page#Mmmmhhhh...#When Atsushi says “I know where Kamui-san is! He's in the middle of an assassination!”; isn't that a kind of plot hole?#I don't think in reality Fukuchi was killing anyone at all at that point.#And even if Ranpo says otherwise‚ looking back we can be fairly certain that Fukuchi never plotted to seriously assassinate the ada#Idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#There's some little lines from the manga I was missing this episode. The “I hate dealing with this decay member the most”.#The “Great! Anything you want! Just say ‘I want this case solved’ and I'll step right up and—”.#I know it's really nothing at all / perfectly understandable cuts...#But at the same time they really add to the overall pacing and make the story flow much more enjoyable for me (≧▽≦)#random rambles
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