#i'm planning to sit down and watch the whole series at some point in the near future though

[discordiansamba]

Five headcanons for Red Lotus Ursa? (if you want to)

Firelady joins an anarchist assassination cult? She already killed one world leader, why not all the rest?

Maybe it's silly concept but I just think it's fun to imagine an evil Ursa. I have some ideas for how it would go down but I'm curious to hear your take

I'm not really familiar enough with the Red Lotus to answer this with any confidence! It's not also not quite my kind of AU either, if I'm being perfectly honest, sorry.

[drvscarlett]

About You Pt5

Sebastian Vettel x Webber!Reader

Summary: Everyone knows about the history of Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber. But there's a well kept story within the paddock about Sebastian Vettel and another Webber. This is that story.

About You Series 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

A/N: and its a double update!!! im showcasing a lot of side characters that will eventually be a huuuuge part of the plot (winks). also the brewing tension. let me know what you folks think about this

Taglist: @spideybv28 @randomcuboidshape @mehrmonga @casperlikej @cliosunshine @honethatty12 @randomgirlnumber-13 @sugyomama @ririyulife @skywalker1dream @vicurious28 @cristianovettel @callsignwidow @gothicwidowsworld

2010, Istanbul Park

The necklace sits heavy on Y/N's neck. She had been fiddling with it the whole morning. There was something about the internal and unspoken pressure happening in the Red Bull garage ever since both of their drivers tied their points for the championship. She have heard more conversations here and there about who would Red Bull side with, their older driver or the rookie.

It was very stressful for Y/N to spend time with the two drivers involved with the discussions.

"Nervous?" Sebastian noticed.

"Can't help it" she gave a weak smile.

"For me or for Mark?"

Y/N had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. As if she hasn't had enough of this whole which driver would you pick to side on. She just gestured that her lips are sealed meaning that she won't take anyone's side.

"Stop trying to get my sister on your side" Mark apparently overheard the conversation "Blood runs thicker than water, am i right sis?"

"I'm not gonna comment on that"

"See what you are doing to my sister, you are ruining this family Seb" Mark overdramatically reacts

"Your sister is my bestfriend, get over it" Sebastian rebutted.

Bestfriend.

And just like that, there was a pang in Y/N's heart. Maybe another factor of the heavy feeling is that she has been doing her best to bury her feelings for Sebastian. But after the whole Monaco pre-birthday thing, every effort that she has to bury her feelings is thrown out of the window. She was hopelessly inlove with the man and Sebastian was very blind about it.

"Just have a good race, okay?"she reminded the two.

"I think we will score some good points today" Sebastian confidently stated.

"That's the fighting spirit" Mark cheered on.

It was moments like this that Y/N was reminded that the two Red Bull drivers are not fighting each other as the team pictured them to be. They may showcase competitiveness during the races but that's just normal. Outside the track, the two share a very friendly atmosphere with each other.

Soon, the two set off to go their respective cars. Y/N watched the race outside of the driver's room for a change. Ever since, she started to hear the gossiping of the Red Bull crew about Seb and Mark, she opted to be more around them. She wanted to know what they are saying to warn the drivers or make a possible plan on how to resolve if ever the situation escalates.

The race started out well with Mark leading comfortably. Sebastian was behind and Lewis was next. It was going really well for Mark and if Y/N have to say it then he might win another race. Sebastian, on the other hand, has been challenged by the two McLarens of Hamilton and Button.

Then it happened all so quickly.

Y/N let out a gasp as the two Red Bull drivers crashed with each other. One was sent down to the gravel while the other managed to push back to the track. Y/N was too focused that she didn't notice that the cameras were pointed at her.

'Y/N Webber

Mark Webber's sister and assistant, Sebastian Vettel's bestfriend.'

The whole garage was in shambles as the radio messages from Sebastian sounds really angry. The amount of swear words in the radio was a stark difference from the jolly Sebastian that she was speaking to a couple of minutes ago. Y/N looked worriedly as Sebastian goes to the stewards.

"It was Vettel's fault"

"No, Mark Webber wasn't looking and giving him space"

"That's stupid, it was clearly Sebastian Vettel's fault"

Watching the replays, Y/N hates to admit it but this one is on Sebastian. She could hear the discussion even becoming more rampant as Sebastian reaches the garage.

A permanent scowl graces his face as he talks to Helmut and Christian about the incident that occurred. Y/N followed to check up on him and she can't help but overhear the conversation.

"That was not right, this shouldn't have happened" Christian lectures "It will cost us a lot of points with the two McLaren looking for two podium finish today"

"Don't look and point fingers at me, I'm not the only one who crashed" Sebastian clearly not thinking his words through.

"Sebastian this should never happen again, understood?" Christian firmly ordered

"But it isn't right to blame Sebastian, the boy is right there were two of them there" Helmut comes to the defense of Sebastian "It was clear that Mark did not make way for him resulting to the crash"

Y/N felt herself getting red. It was clear as a day that the crash was not caused by Mark. It was getting clearer for her that someone has been playing favorites.

"See, you better have word with Mark" Sebastian said.

"Unbelievable" Y/N muttered.

She was taught that if she couldn't say anything good then she probably shouldn't say anything at all so she walks away. She decided not to show herself even after Mark got a podium finish.

Her sudden disappearance did not go unnoticed but Sebastian just let her be.

2010, Silverstone Circuit

Things at Red Bull garage has gone from bad to worse. It was difficult now to hang out with Mark or Sebastian as the two drivers have intended everything to be a competition. Y/N didn't want to see any part of this which is why she is currently doing babysitting duties at Mercedes.

It was a weird set-up seeing how one of Red Bull's employee is staying at the pristine white facility of Mercedes—she sticks out like a sore thumb. But Mick Schumacher only wants Y/N to be with him as he watches his father race. It has always been that case ever since Y/N met Mick when he was around 4 years old.

"Y/N, are you not scared for your brother and Seb?" Mick asked as the two of you watched the cars go out for the formation lap.

"I used to be scared" she still is "But its something that they love"

"Mama says Papa gives her a lot of stress when he races. I hope there is no aksident"Mick's tone was with a slight worry.

"Your Papa will be okay, he is a legend"Y/N assures.

The cars are now slowly lining up to the starting grid. Sebastian was on pole while Mark was the 2nd one so they were sharing a Red Bull front row. It only made Y/N worry even more because race starts are quite chaotic here in Silverstone.

"Mark and Seb must be really lucky to be at the front"Mick commented

"I sure hope so"

The lights started flashing and the infamous lights out and away we go went off. It was indeed chaotic at the start with Sebastian and Mark neck to neck with each other. They were both trying to take the lead even if it means pushing the other off track.

"OH FUCK" Y/N immediately covered the ears of Mick as the collision was broadcasted.

Mark managed to go through but Sebastian had puncture. The German was obviously mad for losing crucial places.

"What happened Y/N to Mark and Seb, I thought they are teammates" was the confused question of Mick.

She sighs. Her thoughts are echoing what Mick just said. What happened to them.

"Mick,they are still teammates its just that they also have to compete with each other. Its a sports and sometimes we lose,sometimes we win"Y/N tried to explain it to 10-year-old Mick.

She could already imagine the chaos in the Red Bull garage. She hears the commentaries that maybe this was Webber's revenge for Istanbul. The headache that will emerge for her after this whole race will be very difficult to ignore.

"Y/N if I become an f1 driver,would you come see me?"Mick asked

Its like heaven sent an angel in the form of Mick for Y/N. When she hears him talk it feels as if the world is slightly a little simpler and better. How she wish she lives in that same bubble as Mick.

"I won't crash, I promise"Mick added

Young Mick is still very young but he really dreams to be a Formula 1 driver like his father. Y/N could feel grey hairs developing if she sees Mick in an F1 car.

"Of course Mick"

"Good"Mick grinned "Oh look Y/N your brother is leading! Go Mark Webbahhhhhh"

The cheers of the little Schumacher made Y/N grin. She will deal with all the Red Bull stress later.

2010, Hockenheimring

Usually, Y/N likes getting her coffee at the catering but she doesn't feel like interacting with any Red Bull team for this morning. This is why the Webber girl is seen queuing up in a local Starbucks.

She was just about to sit down and wait for her coffee when a random man bumped her. It sent all her paper flying and Y/N could only grumble since the man didn't even look at her to help.

"Some people these days lack manners"she huffed in frustration.

It was a good thing that someone was helping her picking up the paper. She looked at the bracelets adorning her wrist and the long blonde hair tied up into a bun, thank God for a woman.

"Thank you so much for helping me" Y/N started "You really didn't have to"

"Nonsense, it will be rude to just stare at you picking up your papers"the woman has a thick German accent, similar to Sebastian.

She is probably local, Y/N thinks.

"Still thank you" Y/N politely insisted "Do you want to sit with me, the whole cafe is full"

"Of course"

Y/N wasn't usually chatty but the woman is very comfortable to talk to. She mentioned that she was a local but she lives a bit far from here and that she was only here for the weekend. Y/N shared how she is also here for the weekend.

"Wait are you going to watch Formula 1?" she quizzed

Y/N was about to answer when she heard the call of the barista. he quickly picked up her coffee and went back to her new friend.

"No way, you are Y/N?THE Y/N Webber?" the girl repeated.

Y/N chuckled. It wasn't usual that she has been recognized by formula 1 fans. She felt red as she admits that she is a bit flattered that she knows her name.

"I didn't know I am famous around here"Y/N joked

"Sebastian always talks about you, I was really looking forward to see you later at the garage"

Oh? Y/N thinks there is only one Sebastian that she knows.

"My name is Hanna, Hanna Prater" she introduced "I'm Sebastian's childhood bestfriend"

2010, Circuit de Spa-Francorchamps

Sebastian was bitter. He felt as if he lost a golden opportunity by not being able to score any points today. He is so bitter that he choose not to celebrate with the team tonight and he intended to stay holed up in his hotel room.

However, after a while,he grew tired of the hotel room walls so he ended up walking at the rooftop of the hotel.

Only,he wasn't the only one there.

"Hey stranger" he called out "I haven't seen you in Red Bull garage for a while"

Y/N turned around and she smiled when she met his eyes.

He doesn't understand how she does it but everything seems to melt in the background when she does this. It felt like he was back in his rookie days when they met up at the rooftops and talk for hours. It was much more simpler back then.

"I have been busy.. socializing" Y/N replied.

They both know that was a lie. Y/N was obviously using socializing as a front when in truth is she doesn't like to mingle with the toxicness of the Red Bull garage. But, Sebastian lets it slide.

"Is it bad that I missed you and I want you to stay at the garage?"Sebastian popped the question out of the blue.

"I'll be there as Mark's sister and his assistant, I don't think it will work well with the situation" Y/N informed.

There it goes again. This was that line that Sebastian has been hindering him to confess or ask her out.

It felt so stupid that he can flirt with anyone with ease but when it comes to Y/N, its so hard.He shouldn't have been scared of Mark, he is never scared of Mark (and it shows multiple times on track). But the thing that Sebastian knows is that Y/N has high regards for her brother and Sebastian didn't want to put a strain in their family.

"How are you feeling with the race today?"Y/N asked, diverting the topic.

"I could have been better." Sebastian sighs "Maybe I should train over and over again"

"Don't push yourself, you are still in the pool for the championship" Y/N assures

The championship. It's everything that Sebastian has ever thought of lately. Its within his reach and he really wants to extend a lead with it but somehow its not working. He really thinks that there is a high possibility that he can get his first championship this year.

"The championship must feel really nice" Y/N comments as she observes the smile on Sebastian's face

"I mean that's why were all racing dangerously" Sebastian chuckles.

No sane man would want to race in harsh conditions or beyond normal speed limit without any incentives.

"Just don't lose yourself"Y/N said "I worry about you Seb"

He acknowledges that. He is not dumb that the Red Bull crew has been pitting him and Webber against each other. In the end, it places a pressure on both of them to perform well because all that Red Bull cares about is who will bring the victory. The more likely victor will be the more favored one.

"We'll be alright" Sebastian comforts.

Even if this is all a lie, the two finds that comfort and repeat it to themselves. Maybe if they repeat it a lot then maybe it will end up coming true.

[adventuringblind]

Misinterpreted

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Genre: Fluff and Crack

Summary: She couldn't see what everyone else could. Not until it hits her all at one.

Warnings: enemies to lovers, a whole lotta blushing

Notes: Thanks to the requester for this idea!! Sorry it's so short...

Masterlist // Request Form // My Website // buy me a Ko-Fi

It's not like she meant to hate him. She just couldn't see what everybody else was.

Charles is just another person like the rest of them. Yet people still fawn over him like he's been sent from the god's.

At least, that's what she thought growing up. Going through karting and the feeder series with Charles was torture. She was just there, trying to carve her way into formula 1. He had everyone chanting his name, loved by many, the future golden boy of Ferrari.

She'd made it a point to stay far away from him. Simply because she never saw the point of conversing. Definitely not because she is terrified of speaking to people in general.

"Watcha staring at?" Max sidle's up next to her and wiggles her eyebrows. She squeaks out a noise and lets herself calm down from the startle. Leave it to her teammate to know what she's doing.

"None of your business."

"Really? Because it looks to me like you're staring at Charles."

She violently hushes Max. "Shh! Someone could hear you!"

Max rolls his eyes before smirking at her. He looks pointedly at the Monegasque with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Don't you dare-"

He whistles, successfully grabbing Charles' attention. He smiles and waves him over. "You'll be fine!"

She can feel the blush spreading across her face. Her hand slaps Max's shoulder playfully. She moves to make an escape, like she has to be anywhere else but here.

Max grabs her wrist, looking playful, but there is that look in his eyes that says he will force her if she doesn't comply. Needless to say, she sits back down. Her eyes fall in love with the dirty grey of the cement ground.

"Hello you two!" He sounds so happy for this early in the morning. She briefly looks at her watch.

Correction: He's so happy at two in the afternoon. Why is he even happy at this time? Charles, apparently.

"Charlie! We were just talking about you." Max jabs an elbow into her side.

"All good things, I hope. I know I'm not a favorite to some." She can feel his obnoxiously pretty eyes burning holes into her.

Max barks out a laugh, then looks between the two of them. "Okay, I can feel the tension. Which is saying something, since normally I'm the one creating it."

Charles gives a wary look to the female still sinking into herself. "I wouldn't be opposed to lessening the tension."

"Great! I'll send her your way tonight at eight."

"Sounds like a plan."

Charles leaves the two alone finally and she sobs in relief. "Why are you crying? I though you liked him!"

"I do! That's the problem."

~~~~~

Max drags her to some restaurant, sits her at the table with Charles and threatens to ram her off the line if she tries to leave. He followed through with his last threat. She's not willing to risk Christian's wrath for her pride.

She attempts conversation with Charles. It feels awkward and tense. The regret and insecurity rattles around her mind. Why is he even here? He could be off doing other things with people he actually likes.

"Why do you dislike me? I've been wanting to ask you for years so I could apologize for whatever I did."

And.... what? She stares at him in disbelief. Unsure of how to explain that she didn't have an interest in anything but racing until she got to F1 and finally realized how ethereal he looks?

"Didn't know you thought that way!" Charles is glowing.

"Did I say that aloud?"

"Yeah, but it's nice hearing such a compliment you."

She hides her face behind her menu, only to have Charles take it away from her. He reaches further and gently pulls her gaze towards him-

She's going to combust. This is how it ends. Death by forced and prolonged eye contact.

"So, if I asked you out again, would you say yes this time?"

She nods her head yes. A little too enthusiastically.

[threepandas]

Bad End: Games Played

As children, we learn to play the Quite Game.

It's rather simple. You scrunch down real small, ball yourself real tight, and find the bestest most hard to reach hiding spot you can! Then? Oh THEN, children, we all get really, REALLY quite. Until mummy or daddy find you. And no matter what, no matter WHO, you Do Not Move, until THEY come and find you.

Not for treats. Not for hugs. Not for threats or scary noises.

No. Matter. What.

To the others, it was a game. But to me? Born just a bit... different? I looked my parents in the eyes, saw the fear that lived there. That hunted them and haunted their dreams. I watched the way they acted. Guarding me. Never letting me wander. Keeping me between them as they slept. Holding me, shielding me. Both whispering their lessons, their love, each moment they could.

And I knew it was no game.

I was an obedient child. Perhaps that is why I lived, where others did not.

Or perhaps? It was my vague, half remembered, knowledge of this world. To be more exact, the chronological series of Otome games, set in this world. Endless streams of political and social clusterfucks, that cast the map into conflict after conflict, all for the selfish romances of a few. Pseudo-historical straight to pseudo-modern magical realism.

Clans of mages. Elves, werewolves, the whole shebang. All trapped in an endless cycle of conflict. Sometimes silent, sometimes open. Always, soaked in blood.

But hey... at least the Protagonist is happy! Right?

We should be furious. We should HATE them.

Our Clan? Did shadow magic. Unfortunately. Because unsurprisingly, Otome troupes ran true, and we? Have a complete Edgy Little Fuckboi as our Clan Heir. Worse still, I RECOGNIZE that Edgy Little Fuckboi! The fucking chuunibyou is a romance target!

I'm sorry, I was under the impression the Clan Heir's job was to KEEP US ALL ALIVE! Not get your DICK WET! But, my bad! My fucking MISTAKE! How COULD I have BEEN so foolish! You go on, then! Just piss RIGHT off, and leave the rest of us to suffer, while you chase SOMEONE ELSE'S GIRLFRIEND!

Fuckwit!

Ha ha.... oh god. We're all gonna die. Aren't we?

We should trust Alphard. No one else understands us.

Everyone? Absolutely fucking EVERYONE? Waves it off. 'Just a phase' and 'he's young, he'll get it out of his system'. As though the problems doesn't run deeper. As though the Clan Head isn't an old man, barely holding us together. As though he isn't planning to hand it all over to a chuunibyou who refuses to sit still and LEARN ANYTHING. Who picks fights he expects US to win for him. Expects US to die for him.

So he can look 'cool'.

Alphard is basicly running this place. But does the Clan Head care? No. Because Alphard is a 'half-breed'. Because ALPHARD has the audacity to be, what? Fire Mage?! Oh dear god! Not ANOTHER GROUP OF HUMANS!? Gasp! Shock! Someone call the fantasy church! Fuckers.

Ooooh but their TEMPER! Everyone knows how UNSTABLE they are!

We should show them 'Unstable'. Make them regret what they've done.

'Bout to see up close and in person MY 'temper' and 'unstable' fuckin BOOT, old man!

No, I don't care if that made sense! Shut up! Fuck you! I get to be upset, okay!? This is nepotism and it's dangerous! And... and NO ONE LISTENS TO ME! It's like they're merrily marching towards a cliff and calling ME paranoid for pointing it out! Telling me to calm down. To stop exaggerating. It's a CLIFF!

The only one who listens? Is Alphard.

Alphard is our friend. Alphard listens to us. We should Trust Alphard.

Storming towards his office, shadows writhing in my wake, I seriously wonder. Would I have gone completely apeshit by now with out him? Left the clan? I don't know how he can bear it. The weight of their stubbornness. Their wilful blindness, which IS going to get people hurt. Killed. Probably already fuckin has.

How many more clansmen do we have to LOSE?

They'd tucked him away in some side wing, like some dirty little family secret. I'd always hated it. Big whoop! He gets two powers instead of one! Jealous ass little shits. It was fear and politics. I KNEW it was! He refused to say so, but I KNEW. And no amount of pained smiles and changing the subject would make me drop it!

It wasn't RIGHT.

God, the more time went on? The angrier I felt about it. The more it burned me. Ate me up inside. It's like my temper just...? Gah! Fuck this and fuck THEM! We don't need them! We should leave! Just the two of us. Go and never com-!

.....wait a second... that's not... right....

My head pounds with the worst sort of migraine. Shadows hissing like angry cats, as they crawled viciously around my head. Chasing whisps of something they can't seem to catch. I stopped between hallways. In one of our Clan's many, MANY shady areas. Leaning more into the darkness... helped. Made my head hurt less.

God, I've got to talk to talk to Alphard about this. It's starting to really worry me. The anger, the snarling flare ups, the dark moods. Not to mention the obsessive thoughts. It wasn't like me. Might be a curse? Maybe. Could be fire magic or related, so he would know. And if not? Well, nothing beats Fire for burning curses away.

....actually, Light, might. But we are A PROUDLY BIASED household here, thank you. So like? Not gonna SAY Shadow magic is BEST magic... BUT it absolutely, totally IS. And Alphard? OBVIOUSLY the greatest Fire Mage alive! No I will not be taking questions, thank you and goodnight.

We should see Alphard, we miss him.

Yeah... yeah I do really miss him, dont I? Where is he?

My head throbs viciously. Ow. It's been getting worse. My control too. My shadows fighting me at every turn. Which? Scares me more. Because YEAH, others? Have been big on the 'beat them into submission' tract of Shadow Mastery. But ME? No, no. I know for a FACT. You can not rule through fear. Not for long.

Bribery and alliances work wonders. Friendships and love. My shadows get FED. They get CUDDLES. I take my shadows for enrichment walkies and give them interesting puzzle boxes to play with. They fuckin LOVE me. Would meat thresher through CITIES if I asked.

So to suddenly Stop Listening?

It means they think I'm... I'm not myself. They are making the executive decision to act on my behalf, to protect me, even if they have to do so FROM me. And... and I don't know what's causing it. Don't know what's wrong or how to fix it. I'm getting scared.

Because something is very wrong.

Everything is fine.

Another wave of vicious hissing, of throbbing pain in my head. This time though... THIS time? I think I felt that. The discordant thoughts. The contradiction. That isn't me. There's something in me head that DEFINITELY isn't me! No there isn't. No WONDER my Shadows are so pissed! Fuck!

I stick to the darker hallways. It helps with concentration, the pain. Whatever is in my head? Is like sticky, burning, spiderwebs. Like trying to grab at thin lines of super heated metal, covered in tar. How... how LONG has it all BEEN there?

You should leave it. You don't know what you're doing. You could get hurt.

Oh fuuuuck YOU. Get out of my HEAD! Where is Alphard?

I stumble down the final hallway to his so called 'office'. It was a guest room once. As a kid, I helped him convert it. Back when the old fuck refused to step down, despite his son and heir, the next clan head, being DEAD. And? AND!? That Heir's fuckin chuunibyou kid being a tiny, insufferable, brat.

We get it! You're hurting! EVERYBODY'S hurting! Your fuckwit parents got HALF THE WARRIORS KILLED! We STILL haven't recovered from that. And Edgy pants goes on and ON about the 'glory of his ancestors' as though? He's not talking about his PARENTS. One generation fucking BACK!

That family ORPHANED me. But do you see ME starting shit? No!

Yet? God forbid the Old Bastard do what's RIGHT for the Clan! No, no! Between a literal infant, a FUCKING ZYGOTE, and a fully grown adult? Better pick the baby! Who CARES that Alphard was the better choice!? Chuunibyou brat is BLOOD! And we CAN'T have the 'half-breed' nephew in charge!

Better connections? More accomplishments? Fully trained and, once again, AN ADULT? All irrelevant. He's too fucking well liked! Too TRUSTED! Too much a THREAT to your precious little legacy and hold on power. So hey, fuck the rest of the Clan! Right? Why would WE need competent leadership!? You can just shove all the work you can no longer DO, on to Alphard.

Force him to rule in all but name. All but honor and title. Spit in his face then tell him to thank you.

Bastard!

He isn't there, in his over crowded office. Piles of paperwork. Empty tea cups, long cold. Mismatched pillows I'd stolen from around the compound, to make it feel less depressing. His classy art pieces mixing with my cheap, shitty ones. The souvenirs I'd brought back, again and again, because I do not forget my friends.

My head hurts so bad. How long has it been building?

Another wave of pain, as my Shadows hissing and growl in outrage, writhing like electric snakes around me. Safe and stronger, here in the unlit office of a friend. They want 'it' out. Hunt and hunt, but can not catch hold. How strong must the caster be? Older then me, probably. Far more experienced. I've been pretty diligent.

They'll stand no chance, though, against Alphard.

He's the best curse breaker I know. Honestly? He's the best at a lot of things. It's been great to learn from him. And he's? Gonna lose his SHIT. He already worries when I go out without him. But to find out somebody slipped a curse on me? Ooooh, shit. I'd almost laugh, if my head didn't feel like it was in a VICE.

Man's gonna feed them their KNEES.

As a PASTE.

.......I wonder, now that I think about it? Looking around the crowded office space? If Alphard has any pain meds? He SHOULD. There's no way in hell, he deals with chronic stupid all day without headaches. He should? Definitely have something for this. Probably. Might not actually FIX it, since it's magic based, but it can't HURT.

Decided, I get up. Slowly. Spread my shadows out. They love doing simple, achievable, tasks. Like 'find the box!' Or 'open this puzzle!', usually for treat rewards. (Cup time, usually. Or bits of my food. But honestly? They LOVE cup time. They like to hide under it and push it around the floor. Each group of them have favorite cups.)

Nothing but paper, cups, snacks, a couple piles of pillows, and a coat I had forgotten. Huh. Maybe his desk? Would make the most sense I suppose. It'd be on hand. Head and neck, one big regret, I stiffly shambled over. Organized chaos. More nonsense and damages caused by chuunibyou and his sycophants, in the name of luuuuuv~. God damn it.

At least no one died... this time.

I tear my eyes away from the top page. The one next to it? Shouting reports. Elves: pissed, werewolves: pissed, everybody: pissed. Guess who's fault? Oh fantastic! So THAT'S why he's not in his office. Probably trying to keep us all from dying. Another report after that. Protagonist-chan.... wow that's unflattering. Word it a little harsher, why don't you?

My eyes absent-mindedly keep scanning, as I look for a med box. Some sort of pill bottle. Something that might hold headache medication. Nothing on top of the desk. Drawer? Should be top right one, right? Since he's right handed? Easiest to reach. Let's see... pens, pens, spellwork paper, brushes, mints, bottle! AaaHAH! I hold it up to what little light there is and squint.

Wow. That's pretty strong. And not just for headaches.

.....should I have a talk with Alphard? Probably. Maybe? Definitely keep an eye on this. Don't wanna be jumping to conclusions, here. Still! Helpful. Down the hatch!

I pop back one of his pills, stealing one of his fancy tea in a can. He may complain, but we both know he won't stop me. Nor does he even mean it when he does. I'm like this sorta needy, demanding, housecat. I wander in, eat his food, tell him to pay attention to me, then wander off. Should have known better then to feed me, that first time~! He got stuck with me ever since.

Briefly a burning wire escape my grip. We should-Stop THAT! I beat it back down. Violently. It's taking a lot more concentration, more pain, then I'd like to admit, to fight it. Damn near wack a mole in my brain. There's no-CEASE! Desist! You are NOT welcome! Get! GET!

The pain meds are definitely helping. A LOT.

In fact...? Huh. Looking around? Without the pain to distract me? Those... aren't my shitty art works. Not the meme-y ones I bought, that I thought he'd like, nor the pieces I made in various art classes. They're just...? Random cheap art.

What the fuck?

Was Alphard ROBBED? Also? Where are HIS pieces? That one with the lady and the clearing? The couple dancing near the lake? That little statue? It's all random snobby fake art. Like someone wanted to give the IMPRESSION that nothing had changed, but had cleared out everything personal...

Alarmed. I looked down at the can I grabbed. It was the kind he offered to guests. Kept for me. Because... because he couldn't STAND it. Too sweet. Tearing the mini fridge back open? Nothing but cheap tea cans and teas he hated remained.

I slammed it closed. Urgently reached for the tea cubbies. Fancy LOOKING teas. The kind Alphard always makes fun of. Quality is in the tea, not the pretty pictures on the box, he says. His tea is GONE. Worse? MY drinks are gone! Why are MY drink-? The coat!

My hand snaps out. The coat flung into it by my shadows. The instant it touchs my palm, I know it is wrong. Too rough and too new. Some modified mimicry that my shadows could tell apart from the original. It's not their fault. They don't have senses like mine. I stare at it, feeling a building sense of panic, before look back up at the room around me.

Is... is ANYTHING where it should be?

Gaze snapping from place to place, shaking as the panic starts to swallow me whole, I realize... No. Not a single thing. It's all staged. Made to LOOK like nothing's wrong. When... when everything IS. Oh god. Where is Alphard? What the FUCK have they DONE to him?!

I drop the coat. The drink. Adrenaline slamming into me like a truck. Slamming the door open, I flood the hallway beyond with writhing, furious night. I AM Shadow and it IS Me. We run. Hunting, hurting, FURIOUS. If they have hurt our friend? If they DARE have-!

A howling whistle splits the night, closer, Closer, BANG. The compound rocks with the force of the explosion. The wards hiss to life like great titans of black sand. Ink dark, they nerely block out all light. Casting eerie spell light over the buildings below, as lights flip on. More whistling. Booms.

We are under attack.

For an instant, I am torn in two. Half of me? Demands I find my friend. They other half? Knows that I must protect the Clan. We stand together or we DIE together. Loyalty wins out. My parents, Alphard, the people I care about, they would never forgive me, if I abandoned my post now.

I turn from my hunt. Race towards the ward stones out front. I'll have to help the others reinforce them. Lend the Clan my strength. As long as they can't get in? We should be-

The wards SHUT OFF.

Even as I run, fast as I can, I watch with horrified eyes... as they slide back away. No. No no NO! They should do that! That CAN'T DO THAT! That's IMPOSSIBLE! Those are SEIGE Wards! Built over generations! Hundreds of mages poured power into them! Went over them with pin prick combs! They don't 'malfunction'!

Oh god. Please, God, NO!

Did someone SHUT THEM DOWN?!

Ahead, the sounds of violence and chaos draw near. Above, I can finally see what's raining down on us. It's war magic. FIRE war magic. Thrown from air ships, who's spotlights bathe the compound in a terrible, all consuming light. All the better, to prevent our Shadows from reaching even a single one of them.

Someone told. They didn't know about that limitation to our powers before. Our front gate! Open! Traitor, traitor, TRAITOR! WHO!?

Across the chaos, the bloodshed and death, familiar color catches my eye. Explosions and spotlights light him from above. The airships blades, kicking up leaves and dust. That familiar, familiar color. From his Father.... the fire mage.

Alphard stands so calmly, one hand still resting on the command stone for the wards. As chaos reigns around him. The pleased little smile on his face, the one he wears, when all his plans come together, ever so nicely. No. Please. No.

His eyes are so cold. So flat.

He feels nothing as they die. Doesn't even glance, at the kinsmen desperately calling his name. Dying at his feet. He... he doesn't look away. Just raises one hand, one finger, and...

"Shhhhhh~ Be. Good." He says, utterly silent in his betrayal.

My world shatters.

I run.

Slamming my palm against the evacuation alarm, sirens begin to blare. It's over. It's all... all fucking over. How could he? H-How COULD-? Grief wants to choke me, blind me, but I don't have the TIME. I have to get out. Survive. I.. I can cry later. Mourn for the friend I THOUGHT I had, later. I trusted him. FUCK, I TRUSTED him!

I skid around the corner, heading towards the closest exit. Gotta grab my bug out b-!

Shadows in the darkened hallway surge, up and over, like a heavy hand slamming down. I barely drag myself out of the way. Lose my footing as I do. Go crashing to the floor. Scrambling, I turn as my shadows hiss, only to be met with deeper rumbling thunder. Shit. No!

I try to get up. Fling my self up into a run. Only to meet a shadow formed backhand. Smashed, thrown. Finding myself slammed back, onto the floor, wheezing. The air knocked out of me. Lightly, dark shapes takes form. Alphard stepping through blank and barren wall, using the Shadows under his control as a medium.

Not a hair out of place.

Just the two of us.

Alone.

"Why the rush, mischief?" He teased lightly, as though my world was not collapsing, all around us. As though my best friend had not betrayed me, betrayed US, to our doom. Up and down the hall, sirens blared. "You look upset."

I snarled. Grief and betrayal twisting into something ugly in my chest. Hand whipping out, I aimed for his fucking throat.

"Ah~, you're mad. Is this because I didn't consult with you first? Mischief, there was so much to do! You know you hate all those boring political meetings. Alliance work and archival research. Sweetie, there were stake outs! You hate those."

Effortlessly, he leaned out of the way of my attacks, looking amused and unbothered as he continued to speak. I RAGED. Screamed. Taking chunks of the wall behind me, to use as projectiles. Anything. Anything, anything, ANYTHING! Just HURT, damn you! TRAITOR! How COULD YOU!?

In the distance... the haunting, damning, final cries of my kin, as the died.

I Trusted You!

"I know~" he laughed, as though nothing had changed. As though this were a fucking GAME! "It was so easy, too."

His voice became two toned in a way that could only be magic. One that was heard, one that was felt. One that... that I had...! Realization did not crash. It seeped, like the cold and fatal poison it was. His betrayal was not NEW... was it? Not SUDDEN.

I... I had been betrayed long, long ago.

No you weren't. Alphard loves you~

How long had he been in my head? He was my magical instructor. I had hated the Clan's main teachers. Right? DID I? Could I even know? H..How much? For HOW LONG?! I was a CHILD! Had no defenses against the manipulations of my mind! Would you really stoop so LOW?! Was ANYTHING real!? ANY part of out friendship-!?

I choked, on the sob I refused to let him have. He... he didn't have the RIGHT.

"Oh, Mischief." He said, sounding mournful as he strolled easily through the ruins I had created around us. "Don't cry. Shhh, shhhh. It's okay, dear. You're upset. This is upsetting, I understand that. But we will preserver, overcome, and together? We will get through this."

We? There was no 'WE'. N-Not anymore. Not after THIS.

"Oh but that's where you're wrong, Mischief." He breathes out, like the confession of the truely insane, his voice soft. Yet, somehow? Bonechilling in how loud it seemed.

"I get you."

"That's the first thing I demanded, after all! No more idiots. No more dead weight. No insults, fools, or brats I can't break! Ha ha! Just me and my Mischief! Free at last! And all it cost me? Was my chains. Best of all? All the idiot Fire brat wanted for it all? Was his 'competition' out of the way! Ha ha ha! Gods bless, usefull fools!"

He stood before me now. Head thrown back, hand over his eyes in disbelief, as he laughed and laughed. Unhinged with his euphoria. With the machinations, that had lead to his victory. And... and I could not recognize him. This... this monster wearing the face of my best friend. I felt numb. Cold and far away. I... I just... I wanted to go away... please, God. Far, far away.

Stop it. Please, Alphard... Stop it...

P-please...

My shadows curled around me. Battered, torn, but ever loyal. They would not leave me. Not even now. Not even to save themselves. Weakly hissing. Thrashing, trying, in their own small ways, to appear bigger and stronger threats then they were. In... in the vain hope that... that the thing that was hurting us? Might believe them.

Might leave me alone.

I had never felt so unsafe, surrounded by the shadows sworn to my once friend. How many times? How many times? Had I fed and played with these very Magics? Snuck them charcoal? Interesting toys to burn? Creatures of fire and shadow. Massive and rumbling, the very Shadows that once played with my own... now tore them apart.

It burned. Hurt. Who...? WHO was this man? This monster? That wore my best friends face? I couldn't... I can't... please! God, please! Don't make me do this anymore...

My mind, somewhere between delirious and screaming, for some god forsaken reason? Reminded me of the Quite Game. I... I wondered, terrified and full of grief, if the children would know to run. Not to wait, for parents that... that would not be coming. Not this time. Not ever again. All because of this man.

The smoke on the breeze terrified me. Everything terrified me. How? How could I possibly hold so much fear? How could there possibly be MORE? Just as I think I can not feel it anymore deeply. Once again, Alphard teaches me I am wrong. This... this is not how he, is... is supposed to be... how WE are...!

"Oh sweetheart, mischief, darling..." He again attempted to sooth, hand slipping away from his face as he rolled his head down to peer at me. Kneeling with almost boneless fluidity. "None of that. No more tears. Alphy's here, okay? I know change is scary. And you're upset and confused. But Alphy loves you just like always, and nothings gonna happen to you, alright?"

"Remember how you wanted to travel before? See those festivals? Go abroad? We get to do that now! Alphy can take CARE of you, now. Properly. Get you all the things you deserve. It'll be great, Mischief. No more stress or tears. Cuddles for days. You'll love it, I promise."

From beneath his feet, spreading like a terrible rot, black fire spread. It didn't touch me. Couldn't, as it seemed to reach, with greedy hands, down the halls. Consuming the only home I'd ever known in this life. Consuming everyone it touched, if the distant sounds of panic, were any indication. He was killing them all. Friend, foe, what difference was there?

Everything burned.

Numb, I could only sit there, before the stranger I thought I'd known.

"Our love story's been a long time coming, sweetness. My perfect, beautiful, Mischief~♡. Once we're free? We'll never look back. Have the happily ever after we deserve. Let the rest of the burn."

"I'm so glad I found you, Mischief. So glad I made you mine. It's going to be beautiful, darling. I promise. You'll thank me."

"Now come here, to Alphy. We're gonna play a game~♡"

[sashaisready]

This Must Be The Place: Chapter 16 - She lifted up her wings

Biker!Bucky x Femme Reader

Back at your beloved late grandmother's home to pack up her house, you have a run-in with the town's biker gang 'The Howling Commandos' and find yourself entangled with the metal armed President.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: some light references to grief/loss

Okay gang we are getting close to the end now. Thanks for all your lovely reblogs and comments, honestly it means so much. I'm so glad you've been enjoying this story along with me and I hope you're happy with how it ends!

You were woken up some time later by the rays of sunlight shining through Sally’s windows. Finally, daytime had arrived again. You stirred, grunting as you stretched and tried to wake up your still-sleeping limbs. Your back wouldn’t let you forget this one in a hurry. Your throat was bone dry and you would happily trade an organ for a glass of water at this point. You caught a glimpse of yourself in the rearview mirror, grimacing at the unsightly red and blue bruise that had crept over your cheek overnight. It felt tender and sore, a fetching souvenir from the evening before.

You didn’t let your thoughts turn to Bucky or Peter, and how stupid you’d been to refuse help…no, focus on your plan of action – get home. Find the gas station. Find a phone, or at the very least a charger for yours. Everything else could wait.

You unlocked the car door and slipped your heels on before easing out, walking around the side of vehicle. You stepped out onto the empty road, raising your arms to loosen your muscles. As you took a step forward you squeaked in surprise.

Bucky was sitting on the road, his back leaning against Sally’s driver’s door as his head slumped to the side with his chin pressed into his shoulder. He was asleep. Only then did you notice his bike parked up a few feet from the car.

You gawped in surprise at his slouched form. What the…

As if he’d felt your confusion, he suddenly groaned, his eyes fluttering open as he leaned forward and stretched.

“Ah fuck, that’s gonna come back to bite me,” he frowned as he got to his feet.

He brushed himself down and cracked his neck. He stifled a yawn as he turned to you.

“Oh good, you’re up”, he remarked casually, in the same way he used to after you’d appeared in his kitchen after staying over at his place.

He strolled over to his bike, leaning and picking up a toolbox from the side of it. He laid it across his bike seat, flipping it open and grabbing a wrench and a few other tools.

You watched in stunned silence as he casually retrieved a bottle of water from the bottom of the kit, passing it over to you. You took it dumbly and stared down at it in your hand.

He then moved to Sally, popping the hood, and inspecting the engine.

“Bucky…” you uttered, your voice quiet and scratchy.

“Mm?” he asked as he fiddled around under the hood.

“Did you…”

“Sleep there?” he asked without emerging, “Yeah. Of course,” he replied, as if it was obvious.

“That…that whole time?”

“Sure”.

“What…just…out on the road, like that, the whole time?”

He lowered the hood again to look over at you, “Yeah. Well…you weren’t gonna let me in, and I was gonna leave you there so…” he trailed off.

You blinked in confusion, and he stared right back at you, undeterred.

 “And…and what, you were just carrying that toolbox on your bike?” you scoffed.

“No���Steve dropped it off this morning after I texted him. And I asked him for some water as I thought you’d need it. Got a granola bar in there too if you want it”.

The two of you stared at each other.

“Bucky…that’s insane…” you whispered.

“Is it?” he asked incredulously, “You really think I’d leave you at the side of the road by yourself, asleep in your car? I don’t care how mad at me you are. I’d say it was more insane to not let me help…”

“But…”

You bit your lower lip as your head spun, unable to find the words. You were simply overwhelmed that he’d done this.

Taking your lack of response as his cue, he stepped back to the car. As he moved you could see the physical pain in his body from the stiffness of his posture and the way his limbs moved, you couldn’t even imagine how he’d managed to get any sleep like that – you had struggled and you at least had shelter, something soft to lay on and a blanket.

He’d really done that…for you?

Without the spotlight of his gaze, you took the opportunity to unscrew the bottle cap. You turned away from him as you drank from it frantically and felt that instant relief, not wanting him to see your desperate guzzling.

He continued tinkering under the hood and called out to you, “I know you said no to me helping but I’m pretty sure I can get you back on the road, then you can drive home and go back to ignoring me. So please just let me do this one thing, and then I’ll be out of your hair”.

You crossed your arms in annoyance as you frowned and lowered the bottle, but couldn’t really turn his offer down. Bastard.

“Rough night, huh?” he asked tentatively as he eyed you from over the hood.

You tilted your head at him, your sour expression making it clear you weren’t going to elaborate.

He winced but nodded and resumed his work. It was quiet for a while; the only sounds were the clang of his tools and the quiet hum of traffic nearby.

He cleared his throat.

“I think I’m being very restrained here in not asking you about that bruise on your face,” he said calmly from behind the hood, “Because if I’m right about who I think did that…” he tensely blew out a long puff of air.

“It wasn’t like that,” you replied softly, gently cupping your hand to your cheek. “He’s a jerk. But this was an accident. A genuine one”.

He leaned over the hood to look over at you, frowning at you with his famous ‘are you kidding me?’ expression you’d seen many times before.

You rolled your eyes, “Bucky, it’s the truth…”

His jaw visibly tightened; you could see him exhaling as he kept himself together. “He hurt you…” he mumbled, the twinge of sadness in his tone upsetting you more than you expected.

You shook your head, “Not on purpose. He was drunk and uncoordinated. It was clumsy, not malicious. I promise”.

He frowned but seemed to accept your answer, or accept it for now at least.

“It’s for me to handle. Not you. I don’t want you touching him. He told me that you threatened him…” you scowled.

“I didn’t threaten him, I just told him to treat you right or I’d find out if he didn’t…and, well, looks like he didn't...”

Now it was your turn to give him the ‘are you kidding me?’ eyes.

“I don’t need you to interrogate my dates, or rough ‘em up…even if they do deserve it a little…” you chided.

“Alright…I’m sorry. Okay? I just…wanted you to be happy,” he relented sheepishly with a sigh. “Wasn’t gonna do nothing…”

You scoffed at his obvious lie.

“It’s really not your business,” you scoffed, “I’m a person with autonomy who can date who she likes. It’s not your place to intimidate or fight them, even if they are an asshole”.

He nodded, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I won’t ask about him, okay? But if you change your mind…”

You scowled and he tilted his head questioning towards your bruise.

“I just need to know you’re not in a dangerous situation” he said gravely.

“I’m safe, I was always safe - but it’s over any way,” you mumbled quietly.

He nodded; you could see he was trying to remain calm, but a hint of a storm threatened to overtake his face. You wouldn’t tell him that you were secretly impressed he managed to keep it together.

"Well...I'd tell you I'm sorry. But I wouldn't lie to you," he frowned, "does it hurt?” he asked quietly.

“A little…but nothing some ice and painkillers won’t fix” you responded.

He clenched his jaw, and you could see his fingers tightening around the wrench he was holding, but he swallowed and then quickly resumed his post at the car.

It got quiet for again as he worked on the engine and you stood on the roadside, your arms crossed as your emotions bubbled over. Your fatigue and hastily buried feelings were beginning to ooze out.

“I hate that you’re doing this,” you spat.

“I know,” he replied gravely as he emerged again. “I got a pretty good idea of your stance last night”.

“Don’t think this magically makes us square. You fucked up, you hurt me. You didn’t trust me. That doesn’t just go away because you took a martyr nap on the concrete and helped to fix my car,” you told him, a little angrier than you expected.

“I know,” he replied, nonplussed by your anger but not dismissive, “I completely understand why you feel like you do”.

You nodded self-consciously, your shoulders dropping their defensive stance as your voice softened, “You really hurt me…Bucky”.

He looked up at you with such intensity in his eyes you almost couldn’t look back at him, “I know I did. And I’m sorry. It’s been killing me, really, it has. I’ve been a complete, fuckin’ mess without you Sug. Seriously. The guys are sick of hanging out with me because they’re sick of my moping. Hell, I’m sick of me, too”.

He kicked at a stone on the roadside as he dropped his head. You squeezed the water bottle tightly in your hand, the plastic cracking loudly as you tried to digest what he’d just told you.

He looked at you again, seemingly a little more composed, “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and trying to learn from what happened. And I know you don’t forgive me. And that’s okay…I wish I could take it back. But I can’t. All I can do is try to be better and respect how you feel. And I’ll live the rest of my life with that on my conscience. I can’t fix it if you don’t want me to. But what I can do, right now, is fix your car. Not because I want to impress you or win you over, but because you need help – and this is help I can actually give you.”

You blanched, surprised by the earnestness of his tone and the sense of self-awareness you’d never seen in him before.

He stepped towards you, but seemed to hesitate and took a step back again. The two of you stood in the stiffness of the silence, much unsaid but also too much spoken. You so desperately wanted to talk to him, but no words would come.

He cleared his throat, then awkwardly shifted back to Sally. He opened the driver’s door and leaned over, flicking on the ignition. Sally hummed to life again.

“That’s better”, he said as he moved to close the hood, “She could probably do with a real tune-up, though”.

“T-thank-you, Bucky,” you said softly, your gaze dropping to the ground, “I appreciate it”.

“S’ok”, he shrugged. “Now you can get home and ice that bruise”.

You nodded, your hand moving to your cheek. “And…thank-you. For…staying. That was…that was…”

“It’s no trouble,” he cut you off, as casually as if he’d given you change for a dollar.

“The house goes on the market next week,” you found yourself telling him as you looked back up, but you weren’t sure why.

“Ah. Good,” he nodded, jaw clenched. “You’ve worked hard on it. I’m…I’m sure it’ll be a lovely home, for somebody”.

“Yes. I hope,” you replied dully, “Still haven’t done the fence…”

He chuckled warmly, then his expression saddened somewhat. He opened his mouth to speak, but then he stopped.

“What?” you asked as you observed his hesitation, “What were you going to say?”

He grimaced then clicked his jaw, you could see him debating whether or not to say whatever it was.

“I hope this isn’t out of line…” he uttered quietly as he shoved his hands in his pockets, “But did you ever wonder if you’ve been putting off the fence…because part of you isn’t ready to give up her house yet?”

You flinched, chewing on your lip as tears threatened to spill. His observation cut you to the bone, and you reeled silently at just how just how well he knew you. How he truly saw you.

“Maybe,” you squeaked, unable to say much more.

“You wouldn’t…it wouldn’t be giving her up…you know,” he replied as he idly rubbed at a spot on Sally’s paintwork, his eyes not being able to find yours, “Don’t…feel guilty about it. She’d want you to be happy”.

You nodded frantically as you swallowed back a sob, “Thank-you, Bucky”.

He looked at you sadly and for a moment you thought he was going to speak again, but he just pointed to your car. “You better get going…I’ll just make sure you get on the road okay before I head out myself. Maybe I can catch a few hours of sleep in actual bed”.

You smiled at him weakly as you got into your car and began to pull away. He held up his hand to wave goodbye as you drove off, and you watched as his figure slowly shrank in your rearview mirror.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

The Art of Etiquette Part 1 | Jeon Jungkook

Summary: Your Step Father would like to introduce you into high society but you're required to take lessons to learn how to play the part and from your instructor's perspective it seems like you have a lot of catching up to do. Pairing: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook Word Count: 2.2k Warnings: Explicit Language, not really anything else at this point lol a/n: Planning on turning this into a short series so please let me know what you think <3 p.s. this is horribly edited and was written in one sitting lol

"Why do I have to suffer the consequences of the decisions you made for this family?" I say chasing after my mother as she walks down the main hallway in our new home. "Y/n becoming a debutant is not a consequence" she says, making her way into the main living room.

"To me it is" I complain, dreading this entire ordeal already. "The whole process only lasts about a year so-" "A year? You expect me to be parade around in pretty dresses and entertain people I have absolutely no interest in just because you decided to marry a rich man? Yeah, no I'm not doing it" I say, watching as she takes a seat on the couch waiting for me to tell her my grievances, knowing that I won't back down easily. 

"It's not a huge commitment I promise. You'll have etiquette lessons twice a week, go to a fitting every once in a while and take dance lessons once a week. I'm sure you can sacrifice a few hours out of your week for this. "Your father wa-" "Step father" I cut her off, making my stance on the man known. "Your step father wants to introduce you as his daughter and the best way to do so would be having you come out at a debutant ball" she explains hoping to show me their reasoning behind it. "Oh I'm straight so don't worry I won't be needing a coming out event or anything like that" I say teasing her. 

"Very funny" she says clearly unamused, "I would really appreciate it if you just did this for us, and if you don't want to do it for us then do it for you, for your future. Do you know how pivotal this moment could be for you? A lot of important people go to these balls so if you want to make a name for yourself in this city then that's a great place to start" she says hoping to entice me, showing how this could benefit me as well. "Just think about it, okay?" she says standing up to leave the room and placing a hand on my shoulder as a sign of reassurance, leaving me conflicted. 

A few days later at the breakfast table I finally decide to give them my answer. "Um, dad" I say hoping to get his attention. "Yes honey?" he says putting down the newspaper that he had just been flipping through. "I think I want to go through with the whole debutant thing if you still wanted me to" I say playing with my sleeve, still unsure of the choice I've made but I guess theres no going back now. "That's great! I'll contact the agency and get all of your lessons set up straight away" he says quickly texting his assistant, asking them to get things set in motion.

"Would you prefer private lessons or would you like to take them with some of the other girls that are preparing to come out as well?" he questions, still looking down at his phone. "Oh it's okay don't worry about getting her pri-" "Private lessons would be great" I say cutting my mom off. The less interactions I can have with these spoiled rich kids, the better. I send her a tight lipped smile, telling her to back off before I change my mind and she does just that. 

"Alright, I have Matthew working on it now so we could probably get everything set up by the time your classes end. You finish up at four right?" he asks, catching me off guard, "You know my class schedule?" I question. "Of course I do! What kind of father would I be if I didn't pay attention to my daughter's academics?" he says, giving me a warm smile before taking one last sip of his coffee, standing up to go. 

"I've gotta head off, love you" he says giving my mother a quick peck and then coming over to me to give me a kiss on the top of my head. "Have a good day you two" he says to us as his final adieu, heading out to where his driver is waiting for him. "Thank you" my mother says, happy with the effort I'm putting into assimilating our family. "I'm doing this for you guys, but I'm also doing this for me like you had said, I guess I'll just have to suffer through it for the next year" I say, already questioning myself. 

"I promise you won't regret it!" she reassures me, reaching out for my hand across the table and I mirror her action. 'I sure hope not' I say to myself and give her a pained smile before leaving to head off to class. 

"You're what?" my friend Jesse say, not believing a word I just said. "I'm gonna start taking lessons to become a debutante" I say, repeating myself, hoping he'll just take in the information so we can move past it. "So you're blowing me off so you can go to Barbie school?" he says, still in disbelief. "It's not Barbie school" I say rolling my eyes at him before sitting down at the table we usually hang out at during our breaks. 

"Aren't they going to be dressing you up and making you all girly so you can go to tea parties and balls?" he questions, sitting across from me. "Yes..." I say trailing off not being able to prove him wrong. "Barbie school" he says satisfied with himself, taking a bite out of the apple he had just bought for dramatic affect. "Whatever" I say crossing my arms across my chest. "So when do you start?" he asks, suddenly curious about the topic. "Matthew sent me a text with the address I'm supposed to go to for my first etiquette lesson so I guess I'll be headed there after class. 

"And Matthew is...?" he questions, "My dad's assistant, I've told you this like five times already" I say rolling my eyes at him. "I'm sorry okay, there have been a lot of changes in your life and brand new characters added to the cast so it's hard to keep it all straight" he explains. "Name one other person besides Matthew that I've told you about" I say with a raised brow, curious as to who these 'new characters' might be. "Your step dad" he says proudly, not elaborating further. 

"Anyone else?" I ask, rolling my eyes at the cop out answer he gave me and he decides to sit in silence after putting little to no thought into anyone else I might've told him about. "Do you even know his name?" I scoff, feigning irritation. "Scott? No Thomas!" he says confident in his second answer. "It's James" I say standing up and grabbing my stuff so I can walk towards my next class. 

"I'm sorry, you know I have shit memory" he says throwing his arm around my shoulder after catching up to me, having only been a few steps behind. "I know" I shake my head laughing it off, "It's funny how clueless you are sometimes" I say, shrugging his arm off of me. "Hey!" he whines, semi offended. "It's okay though, I still love you" I say waving him off as we part in different directions and blowing a kiss at him which he bats off to the side, rejecting my love. "Later loser" he says and we head off to our respective classes.

After the lecture is finally over my professor calls me to the front. "Yes?" I question, waiting for what he has to tell me. "I read your paper last night" he starts, "I'm sorry Professor I had some other assignments due at the same time so I wasn't able to put in as much effort as I wanted to" I confess feeling guilty about putting that assignment on the back burner. "Well I was actually going to tell you that I was rather impressed with it" he says looking up at me from his seated position at his desk, fixing his glasses. 

"Really?" I question, surprised that it was good enough for him to even single out. "I wanted to ask if you would be interested in participating in this writing contest at the end of next month" he proposes and hands me the flyer showing all of the details. "You really think my writing is good enough?" I question, not even having considered signing up for something like this. "I wouldn't be speaking to you about it if I didn't think it was" he says laughing at my reactions. 

"This would be amazing thank you!" I say starting to skim through the details real quick. "You can take that with you if you'd like" he offers and at that I nod in thanks and say my goodbyes before walking out and heading out towards my car. 

"Now where exactly is this place?" I ask myself aloud, pulling up the text I got and putting the address into my gps. "45 minutes?" I say in astonishment, now slightly panicked seeing that even if I leave now I'll still be 10 minutes late. "What the hell Matthew?" I curse and put my seatbelt on, speeding out of the parking lot and down the street, praying that I'll be able to somehow shave a few minutes off the eta to make it in time.

"Punctuality is one of the most important aspects of proper etiquette" I hear the man say to me with his back turned as I walk into the area of his home he has dedicated to these lessons. "I'm very sorry I did not realize how far these lessons would be in relation to my University" I apologize hating that I've already made a bad impression which has clearly started us off on the wrong foot. 

"Proper planning is also something you must consider to be able to maintain a certain sense of decorum before arriving to your intended destination" he says still with his back to me. "I apologize again Mr. Jeon it won't happen again" I say using what I hope is the proper way he would like to be addressed. "See that it doesn't" he says finally turning around to face me. I nod my head in acknowledgement and he gives me a sour look showing he's displeased with my response. 

"One must verbally respond to properly communicate with one another" he says, placing his hands behind his back and interlocking his fingers while walking towards me and stalking around me like a predator sizing up his prey. "Understood" I respond and once he finally comes back around facing me he looks me up and down one last time before uttering another word. 

"For your next lesson be sure to come in a dress or skirt that sits at the knee as well as stockings and heels of some sort and a blouse of course to pair with the skirt. If one wants to act like a lady, one must dress like a lady" he says and turns away to grab something in the corner of the room. "Noted" I say under my breath already exasperated, "What was that?" he questions looking over his shoulder at me, sorting through a few books to bring over. "Understood Mr. Jeon" I say, trying to play along and follow his rules.

"Seeing as we need to start from the very beginnings of the art of etiquette I need you to read these books by this time next week" he says handing me five very large books weighing my arms down and requiring me to stumble back to regain my balance. "All of them in a week? That's almost a book a day!" I say surprised by the workload I've been given after not even starting the actual lesson yet.

"I was not aware of the fact I would be required to teach you everything from the very start so let's just say we both have a lot of work to do" he says and motions towards a place I can set my purse down along with my five new headaches for this next week.

"Take a seat here please" he now motions to a chair that he has placed in the middle of the room waiting for me to do as he says. I walk up cautiously and take a seat, sitting on it like I normally would, knowing that he's meant to critique how I sit to change it. "Sit up straight, roll your shoulders back" he says taking in my posture at all angles while I follow along with his orders. "Loosen the tension in your back and shoulders" he says placing his hands on my shoulders from behind making me tense up even more from the unexpected contact. 

"You've done the opposite of what I've asked you to" he says and I can hear how fed up with me he continues to be. "You startled me, I didn't realize you were going to do that" I say under my breath but loud enough for him to hear. "One must never mumble or talk back to anyone no matter the circumstances. Especially aimed to or in front of an authority figure" he says and walks back around to face me again. "So you see yourself as an authority figure to me?" I question, curious to see what his answer might be.

"I see myself as someone who deserves your respect and obedience" he says and tilts my chin up with his pointer finger maintaining purposeful eye contact. "And you will treat me as such". 

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[angelinasnotebooks]

Hate that my form of hyperfixation is consuming and not creating.

I think I've been falling in love with ideas my whole life. I see colors and concepts and characters, and I want every part of the illusion to play around my body and immerse my mind and soul. I thought growing up I would be an artist. When that mentally shattered, I moved on to thinking I would become an author. Now, however, I don't know what or who I'll be. All I know is that my brain never stops coming up with ideas. 

Yet, with all these ideas comes the possibility of creation. It's what I want, isn't it? I want to create these pictures and stories and share them with the world. So, why am I motionless in my pursuit to bring my mind to life? I have a library in my head. There's a girl in there. Her favorite color is blue. She doesn't know if life is worth living. I have an art museum there too. There's a portrait of a dying renegade, and a demon alter ego desiring joy. Then there's the realm of fandoms. The endless multiverse of continuations and alternatives.  

There's a lot going on inside my brain and imagination. Chemicals I do not understand and signals I cannot control. An abundance of beauty only an individual can conjure with their subjectivity. With no outlet for these thoughts and images, I find it all to be too much at times. Wings heavy on my back and flightless under the pressure. The ability to soar is there, but the weight within is burdensome.  

Every day I come up with something new. Some ideas are fresh while others are another line on the loom, but that is all they are. Thoughts. Ideas. Invisible whisps, webs, and wishes. It's as if the only part of my frontal lobe that works is that of imagination and complex thinking. I attempt short stories, painting, studying, chores, school projects, craft projects and I never get them done. Planning, time management, logical reasoning, and decision-making have all taken a backseat. I can't get any of them done, so I turn to what has already been done. 

I rewatch a favorite show. I read another fanfic. I click on a YouTube video and another. I scroll Tumblr. I read character analysis. I try on the clothes in my closet. I add shit to my wish list. I post photos from two months ago on my Instagram. I relate to autistic ADHD tiktokers. I pretend Pinterest will help me get my life together. I think about the MCU. I watch another comfort, crime, haunted, mythical series. I visit my AO3 bookmarks. I doom scroll whatever app I can get my eyes on. I turn thirteen again and either spiral into a depressive state or become infatuated with the Hunger Games--again.

The point is, I can't force my brain to work on the original ideas. Sitting at a desk with supplies doesn't get my hands moving. I fall numb waiting for my body and mind to comply with my intentions. So, I end up here again. Hitting a heart button to let other people know that their commentary and hard work have reached me, and I liked it.  

I don’t want all my ideas and universes to end where they are. I don’t want to minimize or invalidate my existence, or the experiences of others like me, by remaining artistically stagnant. I want my mind to be a visual tangible galaxy free to be roamed and explored. I want to have my heart in my hands, and I want to give it to every single person that I can. I want these thoughts, these precious ideas out of my head and into yours, dear reader. I don't want to consume; I want to create. If I'm going to go down the rabbit hole, I want to be the rabbit. The entrance maker. Not the lost girl I am right now. 

[kotemf]

Date night

  Foxiyo week is finally here!

A quick A/N, I created this series, They killed Palps and everything is fine, and I thought that I could tie my fills for Foxiyo week to this series as I think it goes well with the prompts. You don't have to read the series to understand this, don't worry, it's just some barely connected one shots. All you need to know is that Palpatine is dead, Riyo and Fox are dating already and they sorta accidentally adopted a clone cadet. I hope you enjoy reading!

  Fox was trying to work.

  Riyo seemed set on getting him to stop working.

  "Could you please stop doing that?"

  "Doing what?" Riyo looked at him innocently. It wasn't her practiced 'I don't know what you're talking about' face she used when convincing politicians and other influential people that she didn't manipulate them at all, no. She actually didn't realize just what she was doing to Fox just sitting on his desk.

  "Sitting there like that."

  "Why?"

  "You're distracting me."

  "Am I now?" Fox shouldn't have told her that. She just realized just how difficult it was for Fox to focus with her around and she was going to use that. Fox watched in horror as Riyo went over to him and sat on his lap.

  "Riyo! There is a CCTV!" Fox hissed. He hoped no one found any reason to go through the footage in his office. It wasn't that he would get in trouble, he was a commander after all, but Thorn and Thire would never let him live that down. Fox made a point of scolding every trooper who brought their significant other to their office because that was their workspace, they were supposed to be working, not stuck staring at their partner like Fox was in the moment.

  "Then take me somewhere where there isn't," Riyo challenged him. And Fox couldn't really refuse her this, could he?

  "Just let me finish one report."

  "One report."

  Fox knew better than to even try doing anything more.

  They ended up in a random park a few levels down from the Coruscant Guard headquarters. Fox used to try to take Riyo to more popular dating places, like fancy restaurants or the cinema, but somehow Riyo being a senator and making about three times more money than Fox always ruined it a bit. She always insisted on paying at least for herself in not them both. Riyo liked to talk about equality. Fox didn't really see what was equal about Riyo paying for basically everything, he would very much like to treat her to a nice date sometimes,  but he knew how to pick his fights. Instead of arguing, he just suggested places that were free, like the park. It seemed to be working so far.

  "This park is pretty nice. How do you know about it?"

  "I passed through here a few times, patrolling or chasing after a suspect. You know, doing the usual Coruscant Guard commander stuff."

  "Are you implying your job is more exciting than mine?" Riyo asked, mock offended.

  "More interesting? Maybe. More dangerous? Definitely not."

  "Come on, it's not me who is chasing after the worst scum of the galaxy on a daily basis."

  "You've been in the senate for three years, that's not even a whole election period. You've received an insane number of threats, you've been almost kidnapped, twice, you've been shot at, five times, you've been almost stabbed-"

  "So what if my job isn't the safest?"

  "Don't interrupt me, I'm explaining why you're my biggest headache. Well, second biggest headache."

  "Just second? Who is the first?"

  "Well, senator Amidala holds the record for the most assassination attempts at the moment." Fox looked at Riyo. She looked strangely determined. Oh no... "Riyo, it's not a competition, you know that, right?"

  "Yeah, sure."

  "You know, maybe you should learn some self defense if you're planning on keeping pushing for unpopular opinions in the senate."

  "If you teach me."

  "Of course I'll teach you." It wasn't like Fox could deny Riyo anything, especially when it was something that was going to protect her. Most people assumed that he, as a guard, was the one who had a risky job. It was a risky job but so was being a senator. Fox has been working around the senate ever since he got deployed from Kamino, he was working to protect the senators. So yes, he knew how dangerous the job of a politician could be. Voicing the wrong opinion could lead to numerous assassination attempts. And while it got better after the war was over, senators could still be in danger.

  "What do you say we start tomorrow?"

  "Tomorrow? Sure. You will want to get Sky out of the house, though. The kid is good. He would laugh at you. Now that I think about it, where is he? Where did you ditch him for today's evening?"

  "He is sleeping over at Thanh's."

  Fox should've probably assumed that. Their adorable little cadet was best friends with Cody's adorable little cadet. By nat-born standards, they were cousins, by clone standards, they were brothers. It was rather complicated so they all just opted to call them friends. Thanh often visited them, he liked Riyo's huge villa that apparently came with the post of a senator. Sky in return spent a lot of time at Cody's house, because Cody being a stay at home dad while getting doing some courses on one of the many universities of Coruscant could watch the kids in the afternoon when Riyo and Fox were busy. Sky was technically old enough to stay alone at home for a few hours but Fox always felt calmer when he knew someone was watching over him.

  "We should do this more often," Riyo said suddenly. "Just take a break and go out."

  "Yeah, we probably should." Fox knew this. But they were both busy and most of the time they weren't working was spent with their son. Not that Fox minded, he loved their child. In fact, sometimes he was tempted to just leave work and become a full time trophy husband. Just get Sky ready for school, then watch some holos, get his nails done, cook lunch and drop it off at Riyo's office, gossip with Cody, then pick Sky up from school and tend to him for the rest of the day. That sounded pretty boring.

  "What do you say we go for a dinner on the weekend? Senator Organa recommended me a good restaurant."

  "I'm not sure." It wasn't that Fox didn't want it. He immediately felt guilty when he saw Riyo's soft smile falter. He rushed to explain. "I wanted to spend the weekend with Sky."

  "We can still do that. This would be just one evening."

  "Alright, sounds great."

  "Let's enjoy our walk now, shall we?"

  "Of course," Fox agreed easily. Problems will always be there, a nice, quiet night at the park won't.

[azucarmorena97]

Money Ties (Jungkook Love Story || Pt.9)

Pt.8 || Pt.10

Your parents have worked hard to get to the top and have made sure to teach you everything you need to know to be successful in this business: from tough but lucrative financial decisions, down to the right ball gown for any given banquet. A promising and extravagant future awaits you- that is, if you agree to one teensy detail...

Son of Mr.Jeon Sr. and heir to June Company, Jeon Jungkook is an immature playboy with nothing to offer a woman but good looks and a crap ton of money, and he stands to inherit much MUCH more, so long as you both enter into the arranged marriage contract that was drawn up before the pair of you were even born.

You're more than willing to try, but you're not sure you'll be able to stand each other long enough to inherit a single penny...

Series Warnings: There will be smut in the near future and I will label those chapters as such. As I say before most of my pieces- I do not endorse any themes, ideas, or behaviors in this series. This is all purely fiction/fantasy! Feel free to inbox me suggestions/ideas/what you'd like to see in this series and I'll see what I can do! Enjoy <3

Recap: For years, you've heard people say that your first time isn't as special as the movies make it seem. They say it's something to just get done and move on from so you can start having good sex- and maybe that's true for some people, but this? You like this.

- Lisa: Kookie, where are you? I miss you <3

Your heart begins to pound in your chest. You look over at the bathroom door, still closed, though you've heard a flush.

Without another thought, you dart out of the bed, quickly yanking on your clothes, making sure to leave absolutely no trace of yourself behind in that room.

You finally hear the bathroom door open though when you do, the hotel room door is already clicking shut behind you.

You sit in front of your computer, brows furrowed in concentration as your eyes dart from one tab to the next, typing furiously. Since you've been back home, you've been working non-stop, getting everything ready for your transition from your parents' business to Jeon Company. Beside the tedious tasks to be completed before going back to Seoul, you've made it a point not to think too much about your return.

"Don't you think you should at least respond to his messages?" B/f/n says one night on facetime. "I've been responding to mine and his mother's messages, he knows I'm fine, there's nothing to talk about." "Y/n, he walks around here like a lost puppy. He tries to hide it but it's so obvious." "Tell Lisa where her dog is then." "Y/n, maybe it was a misunderstanding." "Honestly, I don't really care anymore. I've made my peace with the idea that he might end up being my husband but he will never...never be mine," The sting is present but you ignore it. "There's no way you've made any sort of peace with...any of this. What you guys did was kind of a big deal." "It...was what it was. It was gonna happen anyway, and now I'm glad we didn't wait until the wedding night so we wouldn't kid ourselves into thinking it's some sacred act." "But it was." "I've uh, gotta go," You say, having received a notification of an incoming call on your apple watch. B/f/n sighs, "Alright...talk later." "Yeah." Without another word, you hang up the call.

It's not that you mean to be mean. You can feel yourself being short with your parents, with B/f/n, but you can't bring yourself to continue answering their questions. How are you? Why haven'y you called? Did something happen between you and Jungkook? What happened? It's humiliating enough to know he fucked you without any real plans to ever get rid of his ex-girlfriend- you don't need to be telling the whole world about it. The only reason you even told B/f/n about it was because she was the one who drove you to the airport. She could immediately tell something was off and you couldn't hold it in for any longer and began crying and carrying on. You've never been one for dramatics and tears...but this one stung. No, worse... This one might have finally broken your spirit.

"I could oversee the Australia branch on this one if you want. I'm much more familiar with the market over there -" You're trying to focus on the presentation being given by a member of the marketing department, though your mind keeps teetering back and forth between the information and your personal life. Suddenly, you see a txt message notification pop up at the corner of your laptop screen. Jungkook. Your heart skips a beat, though you quickly dismiss it and turn your attention back to the front of the room, but it doesn't stop- another message, another message, another- soon you have 5 messages from him. You bite your lip, feeling anxious to know what he's saying but not wanting to give in. "Uhm, you'll have to excuse me for just a moment," You say, shooting out of your chair and abruptly walking out of the room, leaving everyone staring at you from the other side of the big glass wall as you walk down the hall.

You take your phone out and unlock it, quickly opening up to his messages.

𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗬/𝗻 𝗜 𝗿𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗜𝗱𝗸 𝘆 𝘂𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗿𝘆 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗻 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸? 𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗳 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻, 𝗜 𝗿𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝘁𝗶 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗜𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗶𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗹 𝘆𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗺 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗝𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗸𝗼𝗼𝗸: 𝗣𝗹𝘇 𝗬/𝗻

"What the fuck..." You mumble, furrowing your brows. Is he having a stroke or something? You slap your hand to your forehead and press the call button on his contact. You swore you wouldn't talk to him at all while you were back at home, yet here you are, calling him. It rings only twice and then you can hear rustling on the other side, along with loud music.

"J-Jungkook?" You say into the phone, suddenly unsure if he meant to answer it, as it takes him quite a few seconds to say anything. "Y/n? Y/n- can you hear me?" He says loudly into the phone, his tone surprised and desperate. "Yes...I can hear you."

"Y/n, why haven't you been answering me?" "Because...I needed some space." "Space? After what we did?" It isn't until now that you notice his speech is a bit slurred. "Yeah, I needed space...hey, are you drunk?" "Are you still gonna marry me?" "Answer the question, Y/n." "You first," You narrow your eyes at the wall as though he were standing right in front of you. "Alright, fine. I may have had a few beverages. But it's your fault." "Please, tell me how this is my fault?" "Because you left me. You used me and then left me." You let out a bitter laugh, "Right, I used you." "So are you gonna marry me or what?" He repeats.

"I'm hanging up." "The phone or the relationship?" "You're not even making sense, Jungkook," You know perfectly well what he means, but you don't want to have this conversation with him, knowing how absolutely inebriated he sounds. "You don't make sense," He sounds much like a child. "Good bye." You don't let him get in another word before you hang up the phone.

You don't immediately return to the meeting, deciding you need a moment to gather yourself. As angry as you are, hearing his voice was oddly comforting. You hate that.

It's the last day of your time back home and you've packed up a lot of your things that you'll be sending to Seoul. The departure is bitter... there is no more sweet left in you to give you hope for your arrival at your new home. You don't know how you're gonna do it... your mom tried to talk you into having a bridal shower but you managed to wiggle out of it, though not without compromise. "What time is the fitting on Wednesday?" You ask your mom. "1PM. I arranged for everyone to meet fifteen minutes early though," She says excitedly. By everyone, she means herself, Mrs.Jeon, and all of your bridesmaids...including Lisa. For two to three hours, you'd be forced to play nice with the person at the center of your current rage- well, one of the people at the center. You'd be marrying the other one after. Though you suppose two to three hours is better than an entire night for a bridal shower.

"Make sure you sleep on the plane, the Jeon's invited us to dinner when you get back." "Great." "Don't start, Y/n. After Friday afternoon, they'll be family. You need to start playing smart." "I'm not playing a game to begin with," You say wearily. "Now, I don't know what happened between you and Jungkook-" You prepare to argue with her and tell her to mind her business, but she cuts you off, "-BUT- you need to put it aside and make amends. You cannot start this marriage on a bad foot." "Alright..." You concede. Pointless in protesting when you're gonna go through with it anyway.

The plane ride is long, though you spend about two thirds of it sleeping and the last bit, writing a portion of a project proposal you'd be sending your dad on behalf of the marketing team. If you just keep your head down and your mind busy, maybe you'll be able to float through the next few days without a hitch.

When you land, it's only B/f/n and Namjoon who are there to receive you. Typical. Though you'd been quite dry with B/f/n since during your time away, she is like a breath of fresh air and a sight for sore eyes and you can't help the big smile that spreads across your face when you see her. Of course, never one to hold a grudge, she embraces you tightly. "Wow, three weeks away and you'd swear Y/n was coming back from war," Namjoon jokes. B/f/n doesn't let go of you, just lazily hits him on his arm and continues hugging you. "Listen to me; you are going to be strong this week, okay? Don't think about anyone but yourself. I'll be right next to you the entire step of the way." Her words bring tears to your eyes and all you can do is struggle to nod, as she is holding you quite tightly.

When you get back to the hotel room, you drop everything and leap into bed, your heart content to just lay there... "Don't get too comfortable. Dinner's in...an hour and a half," She reminds you. You groan, face down into the mattress. You lazily roll over and stare up at the ceiling, "Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll be reincarnated as a bed bug." "You are such a weirdo." "I'm serious...and all I'll have to do is live in people's mattresses and feast and poop...if I'm lucky, some weary traveler will transport me somewhere great, and that's how i'll live my life." "Just my luck, I'll end up being the traveler," She grumbles, causing you to laugh. "That's right, you'll never be rid of me."

You practically drag your feet behind your parents and B/f/n. No part of you wants even to exist in the same vicinity as Jungkook right now, let alone eat dinner with him and his family. "You better fix your face," Your mom says over he shoulder, and though you're not able to fully see it, you know she's saying it through gritted teeth. "Ah, welcome back!" You hear Mr.Jeon's voice come from the direction just ahead, though your parents are completely blocking your view. You immediately 'fix your face', as your mom so lovingly put it, and stepped out from behind your dad to give the most fake smile of your life- though once the entire table is in view, you realize it's only his parents. No Jungkook in sight...and for some reason, your heart falls just a little bit, though you're sure your face doesn't give you away. "H-Hello, how are you both?" You give a small bow. "Oh, we're good. How was your trip? Did you get a lot done?" Mrs.Jeon asks, her smile warm and inviting. "Yes, I did. Thanks for asking." You glance at the empty chair and it seems as though she notices because then she says, "You'll have to excuse Jungkook tonight. He's at the office preparing for a presentation for Wednesday." "Oh, yes of course," You reach for your glass of water and look at B/f/n, who gives you a small smile. At least it'll be a calm dinner...

Dinner was a breeze, the conversation flowing between your parents effortlessly; you mostly sat with your eyes on your plate, your spoon pushing around the little rice you had left. You couldn't help but let your mind wander to Jungkook...

"Earth. To. Y/n," B/f/n calls in a robotic voice, waving her hand in front of your face. "Mm?" "You okay?" She asks, putting her hair up in front of the bathroom mirror. "Oh, yeah. Sorry...I guess I spaced out." "Mhm...was it in Jungkook land again?" "What? Of course not," You try to lie but you know she ain't buying it. "Don't you think it's high time you guys talk? It's been weeks." "If I don't see that boy until the wedding day, I'll be perfectly fine." "Don't let the universe hear you," She warns, rubbing her face cream between her fingers. "Fuck the universe," You say arrogantly before turning around and leaving the bathroom.

The next morning, your alarm goes off at around 6:30, eliciting a groan from you. You grab the pillow next to you and smash it against your face, not wanting to face the day. "It's tiiiiiiiiiiime," B/f/n sings at the highest possible pitch, mimicking Mariah Carrey's 'All I Want For Christmas'. "Shut up," You whine. She's usually not a morning person but as soon as your mom told her she was in charge of getting your hair and makeup done for the fitting, she insisted that you set an early alarm. Apparently, getting ready at 11AM for your 1PM fitting wasn't enough time because, as she so lovingly put it, she's "not a miracle worker".

"I don't even get why you guys are making such a big deal out of this. It's just a fitting- why do we need hair and makeup?" "You are probably the most annoying bride I've ever worked on," She rolls her eyes, patting the beauty blender lightly on your skin. "I'm the only bride you've ever worked on." "And you're already souring my experience. This is the first time you're trying on your dress- it needs to be a memorable and impactful experience." "Fine..." You cross your arms over your chest and roll your eyes, deciding it's better to give in than to keep fighting it. All you want to do is stay in bed and sulk.

The only good to come out of the fitting today is the fact that you'll be seeing all your college friends; Han Soo-Hee, Shin Se-Kyung, Jisoo, and Jung Chae-yeon. You'd not seen them in a couple years and it'll be nice to catch up. Of course, the only downside-

"Lisa!" Mrs.Jeon says cheerfully, walking ahead of you, B/f/n, and your mom into the bridal shop. Your heart starts pounding and you can feel your blood boiling instantly. "Breathe," B/f/n whispers to you. "Mrs.Jeon!" Her voice is sickeningly sweet and you can tell by the hug she gives her that she's intent on laying it on thick. "I'm so happy you accepted to be a bridesmaid on such short notice," Mrs.Jeon turns to the side and extends her hand to motion to you, "This is Y/n." "Y/n, it's so nice to formally meet you," Lisa says with a low bow. "Same to you." You're such a liar. "I'm so excited to see you in your dress- I'm sure you'll make a beautiful bride." Her comment takes you by surprise and it takes you a moment to respond. "Th-thank you," You blush. "Of course- I'm sorry, how rude of me. What's your name?" B/f/n gives a polite smile, though you knew her enough to know that it was totally fake, "I'm B/f/n. Maid of honor." "Oh that's so sweet- You're so lucky. I won't ever be able to be a maid of honor unless my best friend finally gets married. You may have met her. Rose?"

Your mind flashes back to Rose's burning rage that day when she pulled up on Jin while you were out to dinner with Jungkook. "That sounds vaguely familiar."

"Yeah, well anyway- probably never gonna happen. Her boyfriend's a raging asshole. Anyway, are we expecting anyone else?" Lisa asks.

This whole thing feels strange. She seems way different from the impression she gave that day in the bathroom at Kook's party. You expected to be met with a sour attitude and cattiness, but she seems quite...bubbly.

"Yeah, our four other bridesmaids should be here shortly," B/f/n says, checking her watch.

Not a second goes by and the bell on the bridal shop door chimes, announcing the arrival of the rest of your court. "WHERE'S THE BRIDE!?" Se-Kyung exclaims, throwing her hands up in celebration.

"MY GIRLS!" You cheer, both you and B/f/n running to hug your guests. Instantly, you feel yourself relax. It doesn't matter how this fitting goes, you finally have your people around you.

After a few minutes, you were all lead by a sales associate to a back room with various mirrors and a pretty pink couch, the walls lined with dresses upon dresses. On the furthest wall, facing the couch, is a platform with three mirror, meant for you to be able to look at yourself from all angles...the thought makes you want to gag.

You're going into this fitting basically blind, not having been shown a single stitch of your dress until this moment. The sales lady leaves you in a room with it, hung high up to keep the long train from sagging on the floor. You stare at the grand gown for some time- so long that the sales lady comes back and knocks on the door, "You okay in there?" "Just-just a moment," You say, scrambling to get your clothes off and slip into the dress, holding it up at the bodice so as not to expose your boobs before they've laced you in.

You don't dare look in the dressing room mirror- seeing yourself might just make it too real and right now, you're trying desperately to convince yourself that this is all one big dream that you're gonna wake up from. Once the dress is secured, you pick the heavy skirt up and walk out to your court, each lady waiting for you with a glass of champagne in hand. A series of claps and cheers erupt and you feel your face burn. You stand with your back to the mirror, facing everyone. Your moms eyes are welling with tears, Mrs.Jeon has her hands covering her mouth, B/f/n and all of your bridesmaid's are fawning over you. "You look absolutely gorgeous," Mrs.Jeon says. "Doesn't she? God, Jungkook won't be able to keep his eyes off you," Se-Kyung smiles ear to ear. "Or his hands!" B/f/n adds, causing you to blush even harder. Even your mom and Mrs.Jeon can't hold back a laugh at her most inappropriate comment.

"So, what do you think?" Chae-Yeon asks. "About what?" You ask. "About the dress, you goof." "Oh- it's fine," You say, looking down and smoothing out the bottom. "Just fine? Did you even look in the mirror?" B/f/n asks. You respond with a long period of silence, pursing your lips. "Turn your ass around and look in that mirror," Jisoo reprimands you. "I did!" "Liar!" "Ugh, fine." You cross your arms tightly over your chest, shut your eyes tight and turn around. You brace yourself for a few seconds before finally, slowly opening your eyes.

You'd heard about this before- this moment. The moment where you see yourself for the first time in the dress. In everyone's stories, it's the second or the third dress, maybe even the tenth- but the moment will always come where you see yourself in that dress and simultaneously, see your future unfolding in your reflection. Suddenly, your eyes begin to well too. You can no longer pretend; this is real. Mom was right, you think, the hair and makeup did make a difference.

"It's the dress," Your mom says softly, pride in her voice. Everyone erupts in cheers again, though you hardly pay it any mind- your mind is completely and totally fixed on this feeling in your chest...

You want to see Jungkook.

B/f/n helps put the dress safely in the trunk for you, leaving you standing there with Lisa, as the other girls had headed off to the restaurant to get your table and your mom and Mrs.Jeon went back to the hotel to start dealing with the preparations of the ballroom. Lisa had been quite warm and welcoming to everyone the entire fitting, and you began to question whether or not you'd imagined her conversation with Rose.

Could it have been that you misunderstood everything? You misread the situation? Did you fuck everything up by jumping to conclusions?

"Uhm- Hey Lisa, we're gonna be going out to dinner once we pull out of here...would you like to join us?" You ask, the words feeling strange as they come out of your mouth.

"Oh, that's so nice of you to ask- unfortunately I really have to go take care of some stuff at home. Rain check?" "Yes, of course. No worries...And hey, listen. Thanks again for agreeing to be part of my court." "Of course, it's not a problem at all," She opens her arms to you, a warm expression on her face as she goes in for a hug. You gladly return the gesture, though once she's pulled you in, she brings her lips really close to your ear, "Anything for Jungkoook."

Venom drips off of her every word, the air thick between you; and suddenly, it all makes sense. The uncharacteristically sweet smiles, the polite bows, the compliments...she's an actress, and this fitting was her stage. In fact, the entire Jeon family is a plot device for her performance. She doesn't want Jungkook...she wants to be adored.

This is why Jungkook doesn't believe me.

Before you're able to respond in any way, Lisa is letting you go, walking in the opposite direction toward her car.

The rest of the day is a bit of a blur; so much to take in and so little to time. Dinner, drinks at the hotel bar, and now, more drinks at a pub a few blocks away. You decide to put Lisa out of your mind and just enjoy the company of your friends: drinks upon drinks are passed around, laughter and merriment fill the air- before you know it, your insides feel warm and fuzzy and your mind more free and uninhibited. "I'm gonna call him," You say, standing from your chair, a self-righteous expression on your face as you pound your chest once. "That's the best idea you've had all night," B/f/n says. "Call him!" Se-Kyung shouts. "Call him, call him, call him!" They all pound on the table, cheeks cherry red and hair disheveled- you were the sloppiest bunch anyone ever did see.

You take your phone out of your purse and punch in his number- having grown accustomed over the past few weeks at seeing it pop up on your screen, you'd memorized the number by heart. You can faintly hear it ringing but the music in the bar is so loud that you decide to stumble your way out to the parking lot. It continues to ring a few more times before he finally picks up.

"Hello?" Jungkook's voice is groggy, like he'd been sleeping. "Where were you at dinner?" You ask, cutting to the chase. "Y/n it's...it's 1AM. Where are you?" "Fuck you," You slur. "Fuck you too," He returns the same cold tone, though he doesn't hang up. "Fuck you more!" You hang up on him, mouth hanging open in disbelief at how rude he's being. Clearly, you're drunk. You can't hold what drunk people say against them. "Asshat," You grumble, returning to your friends.

About fifteen minutes go by and everyone is absolutely zombified, with B/f/n having tapped out five minutes prior, her head resting on the table. "I'm never drinking again..." Jisoo groans. "It'll be at least...twelve hours before I can stomach another drink," Se-Kyung adds. "Y/n," A familiar voice says behind you. You turn around and realize it's Namjoon. "'Joon?" You ask incredulously, "How'd you know we were here?" He chuckles, "It's my job to know. Remember?" He walks around to B/f/n and sweeps her hair out of her face. She's sound asleep. "I'm here to take you all home." "I could've gotten a car, you didn't have to do that-" "Jungkook sent me." You blink in surprise. Jungkook? "You're kinda hot," Chae-Yeon says, staring dreamily at him. "Thanks but I'm seeing someone," He says politely, gently scooping B/f/n up into his arms. "Everyone ready?"

Thursday goes by quickly, with everyone scrambling to get everything ready for the wedding. Your mothers decided to hold the wedding at the other hotel location about thirty minutes away for a nice change of scenery. Decorations are being brought in, tables and chairs set up, tapestries are brought in and hung up all over the hall ceiling. It's all coming together quickly- a circus of workers directed by yours and Jungkook's mothers. You avoid thinking about the previous night's shenanigans, cringing at yourself for having sunk so low as to drunk dial him.

But you also can't stop thinking about the absolute lack of consideration- sending Namjoon instead of just getting you all himself? What a prick...not that you wanted to see him, but it's about common decency. Don't get someone else to do your job. Even if it is technically what Namjoon gets paid to do...

"Stop talking so much, I'm getting a headache," B/f/n says sarcastically, gently nudging you. You're snapped out of your thoughts, cheeks blushing slightly, "Sorry. Just out of it today." "I can see..." You both watch as flowers are placed inside of the tall vases at the center of each table. "Am I making a mistake?" You ask, not looking over at her. She doesn't respond for a few seconds and you begin to wonder if she even heard you. "Do you love him?" She asks. Your cheeks get hotter and hotter, embarrassed by her question. "Love? I- I barely know him..." You nervously twiddle your thumbs. It's true, you barely know him...but you can't help the way your heart flutters at the word: love. You'd never been in love before...but if you're being completely honest with yourself, you can't deny that this feeling within you is nothing like the crushes you've had in your youth. This is a heavy, sticky feeling- a painful yet exhilarating condition of the heart. Love...how could you dare to speak it out loud? "Only you can answer that," B/f/n says, referring to the initial question, "And once you do, the next question is...now that you've gotten to know him, could you see yourself going back to the way life was without him?" "B/f/n! Can you please help me with this? I can't decide if I want them to out the couple's table on the left or right side!" Mrs.Jeon calls out. "Bridesmaid duty calls," She says to you before jogging over to the far end of the ballroom to give her input.

Her question stays with you, like a heavy boulder on your shoulders. The truth is, you know you can't go back. Not now...not after all of this... You guess you have your answer.

You toss and turn all night, your dreams plagued with nightmare scenarios of how it might go during the ceremony. One moment, Jungkook is saying 'I do', and then you somehow morph into Lisa before he can kiss you. In another moment, he's completely walking away and running out of the church, holding Lisa by the hand. It feels like the night only lasts as much as the blink of an eye before B/f/n is shaking you awake, her hair disheveled and eyes barely open, "Girl are you okay?" "Wh-what?" "You were like...whimpering in your sleep- and your alarm has been going off for like five minutes." You suddenly become aware of your very loud alarm. "Sorry," You say groggily, reaching over and turning off your alarm, "Just had a rough night." "I can imagine...you're probably feeling really nervous." "Yeah..." You sit up and slouch forward, your eyes locking onto the TV that's already turned on and fixed on the news channel. You mindlessly watch as clips play, one after another- and then you see an image of the Jeons' hotel. It then switches to a reporter who says, "June Company will soon be merging with L/N Co., which will open jobs throughout the country, as well as in Australia, the United States, and Japan."

"Looks like your merger is making headlines," B/f/n says, jaw practically on the floor. Your face is completely frozen and your heart is pounding. You feel as though you may have an enormous panic attack. You obviously know that the Jeons are kind of a big deal, but you didn't realize just how important this was all going to be. "Y/n?" She sees your expression and quickly turns off the television. "Let's just get you ready, yeah? Come on." She helps you out of bed and leads you to the bathroom. You're practically catatonic for the next hour while you brush your teeth and take a quick shower.

You get your hair and makeup done at the other location, having been put up in a room that connects to the ballroom. Mirrors were brought in to aid in the court's preparation. Every few minutes, you look over at the dress that's hung up on the opposite wall from the collapsable vanity where you're sitting. You don't dare take it out of the garment bag for fear of messing it up. Your mind is still so full of thoughts, all shouting at you for individual attention. It's almost like you're on auto-pilot, the makeup artists asks you to tilt your head or suck in your cheeks, or puff out your lips and you do- though it doesn't register that you've been cooperating so well until those odd moments you look in the mirror and realize your face is almost done.

In fact, you're so out of it that you don't notice Lisa come in. Now, your bridesmaids lovingly picked out coordinated velour tracksuits; yours is black, theirs are pink. They even got one for Lisa, but apparently she didn't need it because her dress is already on and her makeup is already done. Of course, she looks beautiful; her dress fits her absolutely perfectly, the silk fabric laying beautifully on her hips, and the color compliments her skin tone so that she looks like a pretty little porcelain doll...but fuck her. "Hey, Y/n would you mind just coming out to do a run through of the walk?" Your mom asks, popping her head into the suite. You nod, standing up and dusting the setting powder off of yourself, all bridesmaids in tow, though at the last second before entering the ballroom, Lisa says, "I'll meet everyone in a few minutes, I just have to run to the restroom really quickly," to which no one responds of even gives a flying fuck about. Because again, fuck her.

You'd practiced the entrance yesterday with everyone except Jungkook who, of course, was in meetings all day as he had been all week. You're surprised he's even found time to marry you today. Right now, he and his groomsmen are all in another part of the hotel getting ready; you're only practicing with the bridesmaids. You all run through it about three times and then head back to the suite to wrap up getting ready. One by one, all your bridesmaids slip on their dresses and jewelry and head to the next room over to start recording their video diaries for when you put the wedding video together. You're the only one who has yet to put on your dress. You needed the moment to be private; a second to gather your thoughts. You close the door to the suite and then slowly walk over to the garment bag. "This is it..."

You take off your tracksuit and lay it neatly on a nearby chair, leaving yourself in only your pretty, white, lacey bra and delicate silk, white panties with a small bow at the front. B/f/n had insisted you wear them so you could feel beautiful through and through- you initially thought it was an unnecessary detail, though as she is about most things, B/f/n was absolutely right- you do feel beautiful. You gingerly pull down the zipper of the garment bag, revealing the big white gown. Just as beautiful as you remember it from the fitting. You take it off of the hanger and walk over to one of the mirrors leaned against the wall. You step into the gown and pull it up- of course, you'll need help lacing it in but you just want an intimate moment to look at yourself. You press it against your chest and look up at your reflection-

and then the blood drains from your face.

You feel your hands get stiff and ice cold, and you feel that familiar tightness in your chest.

The panic attack that could not come to fruition this morning has now returned with a vengeance, and you are doubled over, sturggling for oxygen.

Cuts. Cuts everywhere. All over the skirt of the dress. Deep, angry slashes. How did I not see them before? How did I miss them? Were they there when I got to the hotel after the fitting? No, it couldn't be- B/f/n put it in the trunk and then hung it up at our hotel room... when did this happen?

Tears stream down your face as you slump forward in the chair. It's drafty in this suite but you can't bring yourself to put the tracksuit back on, or even to move at all beyond the violent jerking of your shoulders with every sob. "Y/n, Y/n, are you okay!?" B/f/n runs over to you, having just finished her recording, "What happened!?" You can't even speak, you just point to the mound of fabric on the floor that once was your dress...that once was the dress. She picks it up off the ground and holds it up, her mouth immediately falling open in disbelief. She's just as confused as you are. "What- how even- This dress was in perfect condition when I brought it here. I checked," She says angrily, trying to rack her brain just like you had only moments ago. Your crying intensifies, a strong feeling of defeat washing over you.

"Oh, Y/n," Her face softens and she hugs you tightly. "I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. That was the dress. That was the last shred of hope I had for this God-forsaken marriage. Now what? I have no dress, I haven't seen Jungkook once since I've been back. I have nothing left in me to give..." She lets you cry into her chest for a moment before pulling away, "Okay, we have a little less than an hour before the ceremony. Let me see what we can do." She runs out of the room and then you're alone again. Completely and utterly alone...

About fifteen minutes go by and not a single person has entered the suite. You assume they're all trying to figure out what happened and how to help. Your cries have quieted down a bit but still have not ceased. You feel broken and you're tired of fighting it.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

You're snapped out of your thoughts, head lifting up and looking toward the door, "Come in," You say, your wavering voice just loud enough to be heard from the other side. The door opens slowly, and you expect to see B/f/n or maybe your mom, but instead, Jungkook walks in, his expression soft and solemn as he closes the door behind him.

"Hey, Y/n."

A/N: Hope you all liked it! Plz comment and DM for suggestions on what you'd like to see happen next in the story; you might inspire me <3

Also, I am so honored that ppl would want me to tag them in the next part. To know anyone likes this series enough to keep up with it is so heartwarming. So, with that being said:

@ttanniett <3

[rowretro]

𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

WARNINGS: Hardcore Drug usage, underage drinking/smoking, abuse

✧taglist✧: (Idk if there is anyone who asked, but Im starting to confuse every taglist on each series)

✧CHAPTER 4✧

“Are you seriously high this early in the morning? The first lesson hasn’t even started yet fucksake y/n… Riki can’t race tonight because of your junkie ass.” Heeseung complained as the girl rolled her eyes. “Im sober when i'm high or drunk broski, not my fault he’s weak” y/n added as Heeseung facepalmed. The male had walked in on his high sister, snuggled up with a high Riki who had a race scheduled for this very day, beside them a broken, burnt out guitar that had homework stuffed in. She’s one hell of a bad influence on him.

The male wasn’t racing due to his recent high, he couldn’t take the risk of going on the track, speeding and seeing stars before he even got to the juicy part of his young age. He was too young to die. He hated it. God he’d never even look in the direction of coke ever again… So he called her up to smoke some weed after school. “Why did he even do that shit he’s never even done it before…” Heeseung mumbled as y/n frowned, turning to him “That was his first time?” the girl asked, now feeling bad for even agreeing to do coke with him.

“Yeah, guess he wanted to try and since you're a junkie who knows literally every dealer to even breath in South Korea” Hee added as the girl rolled her eyes “he does weed though right?” She asked as Hee frowned “Yeah, anyone could get weed if you think about it, anyways point is, let him influence you, stop influencing him, if you deal any hardcore drugs with anyone, dad will happily give you his position as a drug lord.” Hee pointed out as the girl turned to him, glaring holes into his head, the poor girl failed to notice the obviously closed door before her as she walked into it, hitting her head pretty hard.

“AHH FUCKING FICKLE HEAD- ” She groaned as she sat on the floor "every goddamn time" Hee snickered. Heeseung sat beside her, the two sitting on the freshly mopped school grounds, by the tall lockers. They had arrived early to school since Heeseung was dropping her off. "You know... Riki used to race illegally... and well some one who had connections to a more legal company saw him and his skills which is how he's so famous now." Heeseung pointed out as he turned to her.

y/n sighed as she took a sip of some cold, refreshing gin out of her flask, as she turned to Heeseung "It's not going to happen Heeseung... racing is just a princess dream." Y/n simply said as Heeseung sighed. If it was anyone other than Heeseung Jungwon or Sunoo who dare to even bring up racing with her, that person oughta go home with a rearranged face. It seems Riki was lucky.

It's funny how something someone loves so dearly and always dreamed of having some day, could turn into something they dread so much, they don't want to even hear anything of it. To y/n racing was her first love, her bittersweet lover who left her with a fresh wound that can never be treated. Maybe she stuff a human in that car shaped hole in her heart.

Heeseung patted her head as he got up "The offers always up if you're down to make your dreams come true." Heeseung said as the girl scoffed "I don't have dreams... dreams are for losers" she remarked. "Well, I know a little 7 year old who always annoys me with her dream plans to be a racer in her flaming pink race car with a nice disco ball inside... I'm sure you wouldn't mind making her dreams come true" Heeseung added with a smile, seeing that she didn't spit any snarky comebacks at him.

"Even if she's being a stubborn, annoying and showing me a little attitude, she's still my baby sister... I'd hate for her dreams to disappear like that" Heeseung simply said before leaving the girl with her own thoughts. It's true, her whole childhood, she always wanted to be a racer. She never actually watched any racing programmes, just the fast and furious movies, her favourite being 2 fast 2 furious. Perhaps why the specific pink colour of car

✧𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓✧

[tillthelandslide]

Insufferable Arsehole (When In Rome) Part 10 - Step Into Your Skin

An: so I know it's a long time in the waiting but here's the new chapter of Insufferable Arsehole... Taking a little break seriously brought my love back for this series, thank you to everyone who continually supports me, I love you. This next part of the series is titled "When In Rome" hope you enjoy - Lou

Warnings: smut, fluff, mentions of tattoos. Bit long? 🤣

Series Masterlist

Previous part

Rome is heaven, everything about it from the heat, the sun, the views, the vibe, is perfect. Matty had planned the whole thing, Lou going with the flow and following the man she loved. He had managed to book their villa for a week and a half, both wanting to go home at some point and see their families.

Matty was watching Lou from the kitchen window, she was lying by the pool on a sun lounger, clad in a skimpy black bikini that left hardly anything to the imagination. But he didn't need to imagine, not when he had her right there, officially his girlfriend and more than willing to do anything he wanted.

Sunglasses rested over her eyes, and he watched intently as water droplets glistened on her skin in the sun, skin which had darkened far quicker than his. Skin which was already loitered with purple bruises after being attacked by his desperate and aching mouth.

His eyes wandered over her tattoos, landing on the box tattoo above her wrist, directly opposite his own. He didn't notice the huge grin resting on his face as he looked at her, but he was the perfect picture of a man in love. He felt his heart fluttering as he looked at her, he felt like he was flying, no, he was soaring, swept up in everything that was her and he never ever wanted to step back onto the ground, not when soaring felt this good.

Condensation on the glass of the iced coffee he had made her, dripped against his hand, stirring him from his daydream. His feet carry himself to her, leaving the confines of the kitchen, which backed onto the garden which was huge and had a beautiful infinity pool. He immediately feels the heat flush against his body, his bare chest which had just cooled down beginning to form a sheen. His shadow casts over her body as he stands above her.

She removes her sunglasses, smiling up at the man as he offers her the coffee with a smile.

"Thank you my love" she says, sitting up to take a sip, practically moaning as the coffee hits her tongue, the ice cooling her down almost instantly.

Her hand finds his as he still stands, staring down at her, mouth agape slightly. Her now cold mouth places a soft kiss over his knuckles, silently thanking him again.

"Jesus Christ I need to go for a swim to cool off" he says, not referring to being hot because of the weather. She giggles up at him, knowing the effect she had on him, and it's only worsened when she takes her bottom lip in-between her teeth, making the man grunt. His hand grasps her chin gently, thumb plucking her lip from her teeth, calling off the attack before he speaks.

"You're killing me here love" he says and she shrugs at him.

"I'm not doing anything" she says innocently. He chuckles at that, jumping into the pool. She giggles as he hits the water, causing a big splash, the water covering the deck and attacking her too. Little did he know she was suffering too, watching the way his tanned chest glistened in the sun, tempting her to run her palms over the muscle.

She laughs at him as he emerges, curls now soaked and sitting flat against his head as he flicks them back.

"What did I do?" She asks, her hands held to her chest in an attempt to shield herself from getting soaked.

"Nothing. Just being you love and it's killing me" he says, swimming over to the edge of the pool, she stands from her seat, coffee left by the lounger. She lowers herself so she's sat at the edge of the pool by the time he swims to the edge. Her legs part to accommodate him as he rests his arms on her thighs, her hands coming to play with his wet hair.

"Think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said" she murmurs, pressing her lips to the top of his wet head as his arms wrap around her waist, dampening the skin. His hair now smelt faintly like chlorine but she could still smell his clear and inviting scent.

"I love you" he mumbles into her skin, cheek flat against her stomach, before it's moving again so he's lips can peck at the skin.

"I love you too" she says, pressing lightly against his chin so he's looking at her.

"You might as well not be wearing this though love" he says, pulling the fabric of her bikini bottoms before letting them go so they snap against her hip.

"Hmm... Take it off then" she says to tease him on purpose.

"Fucking hell" he groans at her words, head snapping backwards as she laughs loudly. His palms are flat either side of her thighs then, pushing against the surface until he rises slightly, arms flexing as he presses his lips to hers. It's a loving kiss, not rushed despite her words which tempted him.

"It suits you being here.... By the pool, or reading in the garden... Just sitting there looking pretty" he says as he lowers himself again.

"Yeah? Like doing everything for me?" she laughs at her words but he's nodding below her, hooking his arms around her.

"Id do anything for you" he says and although he's words are intense, she knows them to be true.

"I would for you too Matty. Absolutely anything"

"Yeah?" She nods "how about we go inside and get you out of whatever this is?" He asks, hooking his finger into the side of her bikini bottoms, letting it slap back to her hip again. She nods hastily, jumping up from the pool and running inside, giggling as the curly haired man chased after her, dripping in his wake.

----------------------------------------------------------

She was covered up in a shirt of his now, the buttons undone as she sat with her guitar in her lap.

Matty was in the kitchen, being domestic and cooking them dinner. She could hear him humming along to something, she laughed when she heard a clatter or heard him swear, usually having to call out an "I'm alright don't worry!"

"Matty come here a second please" she shouts out, hearing his bare feet hit against the tiles not a moment later.

"You alright my love?" He asks, cooking utensil in hand. She nods at him and he places a peck to her mouth.

"Will you listen to this a second? Tell me what you think?" She asks and he nods, placing himself down on the sofa opposite to where she's sat.

He hears her begin to play a familiar melody: the one she began writing when he saw her on the stage before that show.

When I was younger, I saw my daddy cry

And curse at the wind

He broke his own heart and I watched

As he tried to reassemble it

And my momma swore

That she would never let herself forget

And that was the day that I promised

I'd never sing of love if it does not exist

His heart aches at the words, desperately wanting to just take away the guitar and hug her, to let her know she had him now and love, it really did exist. Theirs was strong and he truly believed it could conquer all. He never really felt like that before, love before her was something that occupied his time, made life a little less shit and a little more bearable. But with her, her love, it was everything, it was the air he needed to breathe, the music to his ears, the blood pumping in his veins.

But darling, you are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

Her eyes find his and if he wasn't just a bit too realistic he would've thought time slowed. She was singing about him.

Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul

That love never lasts

And we've got to find other ways to make it alone

Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable distance

And up until now I had sworn to myself

That I'm content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

Matty feels his heart yearn for her. The words she sung were beautiful, and they told him everything he had always wanted to know. About her parents (very briefly and he still wanted to know more) about how love was for her before him.

But you are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

I've got a tight grip on reality

But I can't let go of what's in front of me here

I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up

Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream

Her voice picks up and he notices how for the first time, her eyes flutter close. He sees a single tear fall from the corner of her eye and his breath wavers and he feels a lump in his throat, especially when her eyes reopen and peer into his. He can see how she's bearing her soul to him, he sees it and he knows it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

You are the only exception

And I'm on my way to believing

Oh, and I'm on my way to believing

She sang the song he had heard before, but she sang it completely now. He finds himself with tears in his eyes and she's quick to place the guitar down, pulling him into her and cradling his body in her arms. He didn't need to ask, he knew it written for him and somehow he realises just how much she loved him. He had never been loved this hard before, this fiercely, and he had a feeling she hadn't either.

His voice is quiet when he finally speaks, not whispering but hushed.

"Love..." His voice trails off, not knowing what to say.

"You don't have to say anything... Just tell me if it's bad" she says but she knows by his reaction that it's not.

"Lou it's a beautiful song" he murmurs, looking at her now as he cradles her face gently.

"Scared it's a bit too personal to share..." She says, voicing her worries to the man she loved.

"I think it's truly beautiful and people will love it" he says, smiling widely now.

"Yeah I'm sure you'll love that a song about you is out there... And a love song at that" she says, both confirming that the song was indeed about him but also insinuating that she's written about him before.

"Does do something to my ego love can't deny that" he jokes, the both of them lightening the mood.

He wants to ask her about her parents, about the love that she's experienced in her life, but she reminds him that the food is left unattended and he reminds himself to ask another time. She joins him in the kitchen, to help when needed but to mainly watch as he cooked.

The way his arms flexed as he stirred the food in the pot has a sighing happily. A cooking apron rested around his bare neck, it was too hot to wear a shirt so he was just adorning a pair of swimming shorts and the apron.

"You look awfully domestic matty" she says, making him turn to look at her.

"Yeah? Like it?" He asks as he returns to the task at hand.

"Love it" she confirms making him smile. He lowers the heat of the food so it simmers as he walks over to where she's sat, stepping between her legs as she wraps her arms tightly around his waist.

"I love you" he says, making her smile, leaning up to meet him half way in a sweet kiss.

"Try this" he says, returning to the food, turning it off before bringing a spoonful to her mouth. He watches as she blows gently on it to cool it down, before he slides the spoon into her mouth. He groans as she moans upon tasting it, the act isnt supposed to be sexual but god it was. The spoon finds it's way out of her mouth and his mouth falls open slightly as she licks her lips.

"Jesus Christ Matty. That's heavenly" she says, surprised at his cooking skills. He doesn't say anything and she frowns up at him, asking him what's wrong.

"You're going to be the death of me, fuck the food come here" he says, throwing the spoon the side with a clatter before pulling her up from the chair and throwing her over his shoulder. Again she's surprised by his strength and all she can do is giggle as he carries them up the stairs.

--------------------------------------------------------

"My mum and dad loved each other loads, but my dad had his own struggles and he didn't really deal with them when he was with my mum... he didn't ever let her see him in a vulnerable way" Lou explains, lying on her side next to Matty, who was listening intently to every word she said. He had finally asked her about her parents and the love she grew up around.

"My mum got to the point where she couldn't live with him when he was like that... She realised she couldn't fix him... He had to do that himself" she explained.

"Eventually my dad got better, opening himself up to me, allowed me to see him in that way... And then he met Mia's mum and they had mia... And my mum found her partner..." She explains and Matty nods.

"How did it impact you though?" He asked, knowing there was more to he told.

"It kinda fucked me up... Wasn't their fault though... I seemed to always get into relationships with guys who were emotionally unavailable... Ones who got me to fall for them and then kept me at arms length... After a few times I just began keeping myself at a distance... The only love I really knew, before you to be honest, was always unrequited" she finally explains, confirming Matty's theory.

"Every single one of them were absolute fools for not loving you... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me" Matty says, pressing a soft kiss to her mouth, pulling her closer to him, his back flush against the bed as she rested on top of him.

"I love you" she murmurs against his mouth.

"Thank you for telling me all that" he says and she smiles at him.

"I want you to know everything"

"I want to know everything... And want you to know everything about me too" he says, his words making her smile widely because that's all she's ever wanted, to know him, fully know him. Years worth of horrible relationships with guys she didn't really want, were all made worth while, because now she was with her person, the person she was always supposed to be with.

"You were made for me, you're my person" he says softly and she nods at him.

"You're my person" she says, kissing him again, the both of them smiling at each other. Matty gently presses against her shoulders until she's against the bed, he repositions himself so he's hovering over her, holding himself up as his eyes wander over her. She usually would feel vulnerable like this, him watching her as she laid there, not a single item of clothing covering her. She felt completely bare, physically and metaphorically, but she didn't feel vulnerable, she couldn't, not with the way he looked at her like she was his entire world.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" he says, the most beautiful thing, thing. Because she was more beautiful than any person he had ever laid eyes on, more beautiful than any flower, sunset, sunrise, more beautiful than any painting could even attempt to capture.

"I'm never going to love someone as much as I love you" he admits, her heart fluttering at his words. She feels his words in every part of her, she feels the effect he has on her brain, clouding every corner of it, painting it with beautiful shades of him. She feels the way he fills her heart, filling it so much it almost hurts, it hurts when she's without him, but luckily he filled it enough that he was still there, even when he wasn't. She feels the way he makes her hairs stand on end, her senses heightened, she feels the way every word he says has her core fluttering, longing for that sweet release only he was able to grant her.

She feels the way her pupils dilate when she sees him, vision narrowing, he defined the phrase "tunnel vision" because no one even existed when he was in the room. Every single part of her longed for him, never wanting to be without him, knowing that the thought of being without him, would destroy her, so she simply pushed it away, not even needing to think about it, because it simply wouldn't happen.

"Good" she says leaning up to place her lips to his, the man trying with all his willpower not to lower himself onto her.

"Because I don't plan on ever being without you" she says as he pulls away from him, him chasing her mouth with his own, enveloping his tongue with hers.

----------------------------------------------------------

They stand at the foot of a tiny shop, wedged in-between a rustic looking bar and a coffee shop. The tattoo sign hung above the frame, slanted, the lights flickering occasionally. The shop was situated about 2 minutes away from their villa and Matty saw it on the first day of their trip, insisting they had to get tattoos.

Matty's eyes are covered in a pair of Truman, black-ish glasses, he wears a pair of black denim shorts and white (and slightly sheer) white shirt, the sleeves of which are rolled up. She was wearing a white milkmaid-like summer dress, which was quite short and revealed the skin of her tanned legs and chest, her collarbones shining, tempting his eyes to look at the swell of her breasts picking out of the fabric. She thought he looked fit, he thought she looked ravishing

"Matty... This looks dodgy as fuck" she says making him laugh, eyes flicking from the sign to the man squeezing her hand. She watches as his cheeks stretch into a smile, his arm hooking around her shoulders, pulling her into him, pressing his lips against the side of her head.

"Come on love, gotta live life on the edge" he says, the words mumbled into her skin.

"If I get some infection because of you...." Her words trail off, her threat cut short.

"You'll be fine come on" he says pulling them into the shop. The bell above the door rings and an oldish looking man comes to greet them, a tanned man with black and grey hair greets them with a smile.

"What a beautiful couple!" He exclaims and the two smile. The man pauses, looking at Matty as he takes his glasses off, for a moment they think he's going to recognise them but the man laughs.

"You look like a rockstar!" Is all he says and it makes Lou chuckle.

"What can I do for you?" He asks and Matty's eyes find Lou's.

"I know what I want but I don't want you to see yet" Lou nods and Matty smiles.

"I'll get my son to come to you" the man says, his accent thick. He shouts in Italian, and seconds later a tanned man with black hair similar to his enters the room.

"This beautiful lady wants a tattoo" he says and the man comes towards her, smiling at her. He's arms are covered in tattoos and his eyes are piercingly blue. He's attractive, not that Lou even notices because she's too busy staring at her boyfriend who's talking to the man and being led away.

"What can I do for you?" The man asks and she proceeds telling him what she'd like.

The man applies the transfer onto her skin, complimenting her other tattoos as he does. His hand touches the box tattoo, complimenting the artwork.

"What's it for?" He asks and she smiles.

"It's for a band" she says simply, smiling at it.

"A logo?" She nods.

"You in the band?" He asks, accent thick.

"Yeah... Yeah I'm in the band" she smiles, a huge smile that makes the man smile too.

"That man had the same yes?" He asks and she nods again. He begins tattooing her.

"Your boyfriend?" He asks again, eyes momentarily flicking up to hers before focusing back on the gun, hands moving with precision.

"Yeah..." She says, the smile unwavering from her face.

"A lucky man" he says and she hears Matty speak from behind her, making her turn her head.

"I am indeed" he says as he bends down, their lips meet in a kiss

"That was quick, let me see" she says as the man continues, she's so used to the feeling now having had so many done, she's completely uphased.

"Later" he says, hiding his hand, she raises her eyebrows but let's it go.

"What are you getting?" He asks and she shakes her head.

"It's a surprise don't look" Matty turns his head at that, instead looking into her eyes instead of her arm where the ink is being applied.

"You truly are a beautiful couple" the younger man says and they both smile again.

"Thank you" Lou says and Matty nods, agreeing to the sentiment.

The man continues his work for a few more minutes, wrapping the tattoo. The couple both pay, thanking the two men before leaving the store.

They walk back to their villa, Matty holding her to his side. When they get back he's immediately asking to see the tattoo. She smiles as she takes the wraps off revealing it to him.

He sees two dates itched into her arm and instantly smiles at the sight, tears appearing in his eyes.

One date was the first date they joined them on tour "the day that changed my life" she says, earning her a kiss from the man. He looks down at the other date "the day I asked you to be my girlfriend?" He asks, she nods. They kiss again before they're hugging each other tightly.

"Fuck I love you" she's begging to see his now and he reveals his left hand, removing the tiny bit of cling film that wraps around his ring finger. She feels tears spring to her eyes now when she sees her initial itched into the skin.

"Matty..." She's full on sobbing now, and he pulls her into his embrace, their mouths attach. He forces them to pull apart, needing to say what he needed.

"I've got you in my life now and I'm never letting you go. You've got me forever and I know we haven't had many discussions about what we want in life... Maybe we won't get married or have kids... But I know I want you, forever" he says and she continues to cry at his words.

"Matty that means so much to me" she looks at the letter again, resting nicely against his ring finger.

"Do hope to make you my wife though" he says "wouldn't have got it there if not" they laugh then, lips pressing against each other quickly.

"Yeah?" She asks and he nods, sealing his words with a kiss.

"And one day maybe I'll fill that belly with babies" he says, hands resting over her stomach which warms with desire for him.

"Yeah?" She asks again, eyes coming to find his, darkening as they look at him, lip in-between his teeth.

He nods and she smirks "we could practice that bit" he laughs at this and pulls her into him.

"Kinda wanna be buried in-between those beautiful thighs of yours, will you let me do that love?" He asks and she's nodding eagerly up at him, mouth taken up by his not a second later.

It takes him no time at all to have her spread for him on the bed of their holiday home. He's buried in-between her thighs, glorious tongue lapping her up, her hand laced in his curls, tugging at the strands. He groans into her pussy, making her back arch. She holds the dress she was wearing around her waist so she could see him.

"oh fuck Matty" he loves the way his name falls easily from her lips. He smirks and nips at her clit, making her wince "Matthew" she warns.

"Sorry love" he smirks at the way she calls him Matthew again and delivers a calculated swipe over her clit as an apology.

"You're so good" she truly means it, head before him was mediocre at best but he... He has her seeing stars as soon as he gets his mouth on her.

"Taste so good love" he says, truly a starved man, searching for gold and by god does he find it. The way she's clenching around his tongue lets him know she needs more so two fingers find their way into her sopping cunt, instantly curling and hitting her gspot.

"fuck I'm going to cum Matty" her back arches impossibly more, almost giving her whiplash.

"cum for me darling' he says, latching onto her clit and sucking harshly as his fingers relentlessly curl into her. Her juices coat his chin as the wave breaks, pleasure coursing through her body until she's spasming, thighs closing round his head. She pushes his face into her cunt, unaware she's doing so but he moans into her, loving how harsh she was being.

"fuck" he moans into her, euphoria clouding all her senses. Her hands are gripping his hair tightly and slowly her grip loosening, on both his hair and her dress. Her thighs open as the fabric falls around his face.

"that was fucking hot' he says as he comes up to meet her lips with his. She tastes herself on his tongue as she sighs, still coming down from her high. She's quick to undo the zip of his shorts, pushing the denim down his legs, taking his boxers with it.

She grabs his hard member, delivering a few strokes, making him moan loudly, lips peeling off hers.

"fuck" he says as he looks down to watch her manicured hands stroke him, thumbing at the tip until his hips are thrusting into her hand.

"off, off off" she says as he other hand pushes against the fabric of his shirt. The man leans back, her hand still clasped around him as he shrugs his shirt off. He comes back to her, forehead resting against hers again as he watched himself disappear into her hand.

"Fucking hell" he says, mind snapping back to when he was a teenager, in a similar position to this, expect it was his own hand wrapped around himself as he thought about her.

"Really need to make love to you now" he says and his eyes find her darkened ones.

"yes please" she says and he smiles down her, groping her chin and thumbing at her lips. Despite his words he doesn't rush his movements, his eyes wander down her body, tugging at the fabric around her waist until her tits are spilling out of it, his mouth immediately wrapping around the peaked bud. She gasps and her hand falters around him, Matty slowly thrusts into her hand, wanting the pleasure but not wanting to spill over the edge.

"Fuck you're so perfect. My beautiful fucking angel" he says as his mouth attacks her nipples. His hand drifts back down to her legs, his fingers teasing her once more.

"Can't believe you went all day without wearing anything under this dress.... Just waiting and ready for me to fuck you yeah?" He asks, dark eyes finding hers.

"Always ready for you" she says, attempting to pull him forwards and into her but the man stops her.

"Please Matty... Please fuck me" she begs and that's enough for him so he slowly threads the head of him into her wet hole, the two of them sighing out in harmony.

"oh god you're so perfect. My perfect fucking girl. So good to me" he spews, forehead falling against hers as he watches her take him, until his pelvis is flush against hers. He grinds against her, holding myself close to her, letting her adjust.

"Move please" she says, and Matty is snapping forwards into her then, his thrusts deep and slow, hips moving attentively.

"Oh god" she moans, back arching off the bed just to be closer to him. His hands clamp around her waist, holding her to him.

"Not god love... Just me" he says, or should I say moans. She laughs but the noise is quickly replaced by a moan when he hits her gspot. He feels the way she flutters around him, clamping around him, nearly milking him for what his worth, causing his hips to stutter momentarily before he's continuing his purposeful movements.

"That the spot love?" He asks and she nods rigorously, pulling yet pushing him all at once.

"Need more love?" He asks, knowing her body like the back of his hand. She nods again, and he grunts as she clenches around him again.

"Flip" he commands, his tone changing slightly. She does as she's told and is quickly resting on her stomach. Matty grabs a pillow and places it under her hips before he's pulling her backside up by her hips.

A scream tares through her as he thrusts back into her. The angle forces him to hit her gspot with every thrust, the woman beneath him moaning into the pillow.

"Don't hold back on my account love" he says, his hands gripping her hips harshly now, the sting against her skin blissful. There's a cockiness to his words but she truly doesn't care, she's grown to love him when he's like this, and she knows one way which will have him losing his mind: by stroking that ego of his.

"Matty" she moans, although it's muffled against the pillow.

"Let me hear you love. let everyone know who's fucking you" he says, hips moving fast and hard into her, his skin slapping against hers. Her head tilts backwards and he sees tears of pleasure coating her cheeks.

"You're made for me Matty" she says. He watches as the words tumble from her mouth, her glazed eyes daring to flutter close but they stay open, trained on him. Her words have his movements faltering for a split second before he's relentlessly pushing and pulling from her.

"fuck.. you're beautiful. So fucking perfect - fuckkkk" he says, grunting as she begins pushing back into him, the push and pull of their movements intensifying their pleasure. She gasps out in pleasure, fluttering around him, eyes snapping shut as her back arches, clear signs that she was close.

"Come here, need you close" he admits, tugging her upwards until her back is flush with his chest.

"So perfect" he says, smearing his lips against her back.

"Fuck you're so good Matty" she says, feeling his cock twitch inside her, his ego clearly enjoying the compliment.

"Yeah? Tell me how good" he says and she goes to speak but he pulls out, easily maneuvering her body until she's on her back again, he thrusts back in before she even has time to miss him.

"No one fucks me like you Matty" she admits, "I'm going to cum, you're going to make me cum" she says, grasping his face in her hands, lips smearing against his. You're going to make me cum, those wo words almost kill him, but he couldn't think of a better way to go, buried in the girl he loves, the one girl he's always loved, the love of his life.

"Come with me Matty" she says, voice airy and ethereal.

"Oh fuck" he says, his body giving in at her words, hips stuttering forward as he cums inside her, her core squeezing around him as she cums too.

"I fucking love you" he says, laughing as he fills inside her, so content and happy with her.

"I love you Matty. So much" she says.

Note: I know it's long sorry.... Hope you enjoy though. Love you - Lou 🫶🏽

[jessjad]

Unexpected

Chapter 8

Summary: After a Halloweenparty Y/N actually didn't want to got to, her life seems to be turned around. The reason is a very stubborn Supe that seems to have her in his visier. Is it just a coincidance or more?

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader

Word Count: 2590

Warnings: some language, character death (mentioned), graphic violence and a little hurt/comfort (as best as possible)

A/N: Aaand we're back. This is going to be a little emotional. Do we all remember Y/N's sister Jenny? Yeah, we're going there. Buckle up, guys... All mistakes are mine.

My Masterlist Series Masterlist

The tension was high. In the last couple of days the world seemed to be upside down. No matter what channel Y/N decided to watch, Homelander was all over the place. The horrific pictures of his son Ryan killing the poor boy on the other side of the street were still shown. Wheter it was anchormen or so called experts in superhero topics who discussed the situation over and over again, kept it alive. All of a sudden Soldier Boy was not the most important thing to talk about anymore.

After this, Annie has gotten way more followers. Anti-fans of supes, as they started to call themselves now, made their own videos of supes and what was so wrong about them. Some of them even catching a glimpse of misbehavement and recklesness. The danger that came with this kind of research willingly forgotten.

Homelanders followers on the other hand were still on the side of Vaught and all the other supes. Calling the straight up murders little accidents and just collatteral damage. Nothing to worry about. It had Y/N's stomache churning with disgust and disbelief. But not just her. Ben seemed to be more stressed too. He also stopped venturing out as much as before. He did not say it, but Y/N could see it in his face. The worry behind his stoic eyes and the small crease on his forehead that showed his tables turning in his mind.

Mallory had contacted both of them more than once after the live broadcast and was pressing changes in their plan. Not even now, after all these weeks, Y/N still didn't know any more details about THE plan and what they were trying to do and how they wanted to stop Homelander. It was kinda frustating to be left in the dark, to feel like a puppet on strings. On the other hand though, she was a little glad not to know everything.

"I was really worried there for a second, girl! Seeing you falling into the ice cold Hudson River..." said Caroline and brought Y/N's attention back to her. "I mean, you know that I never really cared about Vaught and the supes... But after everything I saw on the TV..."

Her gaze traveled to the screen on the wall on which the news showed the incident with Homelander again and discussed what would be happening next. Ben was sitting on the couch, deep in thought.

"Yeah... It's not the first time that happend. It's only the first time, that the whole world is seeing this."

"And..." Care was getting a little closer to Y/N and started to lower her voice. "... I did some research online about... Ben." She pointed with her head to the man on the couch.

"Don't... say it."

"But... he is one of them. The original one, I believe. And he is no different than Homelander." the woman said.

"I'm nothing like the flag licking dick sucker." Ben interrupted from the living room with a short glanze to the kitchen table. "And I can hear you."

Y/N smiled a little. "Anyway... this whole situation... is a mess and I had my problems with it too in the beginning. Care, trust me..."

And to make it clear to her friend she told her as much as she could about it all without giving to much away. Her best friend gasped a couple of times and couldn't hold back on the dirty jokes, when the story came to certain points. Y/N had to laugh a little and the realization hid her that it felt good to finally talk to someone about it. She was pretty isolated in her own apartment.

Of course she had Annie or Hughie to talk to, but that was not the same. Only the supe who shared the apartment with her was 24/7 around her, but he was not the biggest talker. Although it seemed as if he was trying to open up a little more to her.

"... and now we... we came to terms. And it's fine. For now."

"Okay." Caroline nodded her head. "I trust you if you say so."

Y/N nodded too and laid her hand on top of her friends.

"But, Care... it would've been better if you didn't have come here. There is a reason why I went into hiding."

"I know, I know. I get that." Caroline agreed. "But I needed to know that you were okay." That really touched her heart. "But it was not just me, Y/N. I talked to your mom and she is worried, too."

"Yeah, I know that." Y/N sighed. "But it would be to risky if I kept in touch with her. Not just for me, but for my family too."

Caroline nodded in agreement. She totally got that, now that she knew what had happenend. And she assured Y/N that this was the only time she would come looking for her. The silence that followed was comfrotable. But then...

"Y/N, your mom... told me about Jenny..."

"What are we supposed to do now?"

In a dark, small corner somewhere in the abandent building outside of New York that served as Victoria Neuman's operation center were two men standing and hiding from unwanted eyes, whispering to eachother.

"We have to keep going." Johnson answered. "We know now where he is hding out and what his plan is. We only have to give him as much time as we can."

"But... with Homelander involved now? It is not that easy anymore. We can not fool them forever."

"I know, Harlow!" Johnson said with a little bit mor force, but dialed back to whispering. "But we owe Soldier Boy, you know that. Better than me. That's the only reason I took this job."

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Harlow sighed and crossed his arms infront of his chest. "But we have to be careful. And we can trust noone, except us."

Johnson nodded and a moment of silence followed, before Harlow spoke up again. "All of this is going to bite us in the ass. I can fucking feel it in my bones."

"Don't worry, my friend. It will all play out in the end." Johnson smiled a little and gave Harlow a assuring clap on the shoulder before both men parted ways to get back to their duties.

But noone of them noticed the third person near them in the shadows.

Shortly after Caroline left, Y/N started to cook. She needed to do something with her hands, keeping herself busy. That her mom had told Care about Jenny was unexpected, but in a way she understood why she did that. They were branded by what had happened a long time ago. But she didn't wanna talk about it and her best friend didn't force her do to so. She just wanted to let her know, that she knew and was there for her if needed.

Thirty minutes later, the pasta sauce was cooking and she started to boil water, Y/N heared noises from behind her. She glanzed at the couch and saw Ben laying sprawled out and sleeping. But his brows were creased and his fists were balled. His upper lip shivered almost aggressivly. Y/N went slowly over to the man, as he started growl and grumple, before he began to shout and squirm.

"Ben?" she tried carefully and touched his shoulder with a soft hand. "Ben!"

He catched her wrist almost painfully, as he suddenly sat up, shocked out of his nightmare. His green eyes darted wildly through the room to fight of the pictures in his head.

"Ouch! Ben!" she exclaimed. "You're hurting me!"

That brought his attention back to her and fighted off the pictures of his torturous years with the commies. He released her wrist right away and got up. Turning his back to her, he wiped his face with his hand and he cleared his throat.

Y/N could already see the bruise on her wrist form. This was not the first time she experienced Ben's nightmares. They didn't happened often, but she assumed that his PTSD was fighting his way back up to the surface, now that he did not take the hard drugs anymore.

"I didn't... want to..." was all he said, without looking at her.

"I know. Don't worry about it."

Y/N really didn't mind. He didn't do it on purpose and with all the other bruises on her body from their mattress sports it was just another mark he gave her. And she just knew how much he liked to mark her up. But she could still sense that he felt uncomfortable, probably because he thought he now looked vulnerable. So, she went back into the kitchen and finished the food.

The silence was deafening and a little uncomfortable, but Y/N tried not to show it. Ben kept an close eye on her, but she only smiled a little everytime she saw him looking at her her. And everytime he seemed to relax a little more. When they both sat down on the table to eat, Ben poured himself a full glass of whiskey, before he started to speak.

"Who's Jenny?"

Y/N was about to take her first bite but she paused with wide eyes.

"What?" the surprise fully displayed on her face.

"I asked you this once and you didn't wanna talk about it. But now..."

Ben didn't finish his sentence and he didn't need to. She understood what he was getting at. He had a moment of weakness and now he wants her to repay it. She sighed and put her fork aside.

"Jenny was... my sister."

"Was?" he crocked an eyebrow.

"There is a reason why I hate Vaught and the supes." Ben huffed, but Y/N slapped him lighty on the arm. "You knew that already."

"Yeah, yeah..."

She sighed. "Our dad worked in the army. He had a lot of friends that worked for Vaught and once a year... there was some kind of ball. You know? To celebrate a year of good work and to honor certain people. And when my dad decided to retire, the whole family was invited. Jenny was younger than me by two years and I have always been a little protective over her."

The memories from the past started to play infront of her third eye.

"That night, a lot of supes were there, too. And Jenny got introduced to a supe named Skyrider. He was in his mid twenties and he had wings. Strong, fast and he had a charming smile that lured Jenny in." Y/N laughed dryly.

"While she was talking to him, I was wandering around the room. Dad was talking to his general and nobody really noticed me. So, I went out in the hallway to search for the bathroom and there, in a corner, I heard to other supes talk about a woman and what they did to her."

Y/N started to slightly shiver. "I can't remember everything they said, but I remember that I was utterly shocked. They laughed and then I thought 'Oh, maybe they made a joke. A very bad one at that, but... just a joke'. However, days later I still had a bad feeling."

She had wanted to talk about it with her dad, but when she heared that Jenny was starting to date Skyrider, she didn't wanted to ruin it for her. Her sister seemed happy about it and that's all she ever wanted for her. To be happy.

"So, I kept my feeling for myself and for a couple of months everything seemed fine. Jenny was happy and we got to meet Skyrider officially. There was nothing to worry about."

Y/N smiled, but that expression faded quickly. She sucked in her lower lip with her teeth and Ben could see the tears starting to form in her eyes.

"It was on the weekend of the 4th of july. Skyrider wanted to spent the weekend with Jenny somewhere far away. A little trip just for the two of them... but that had me worried again. He didn't wanted to tell us where he would take her to, in sake for it being a surprise." Y/N sighed. "I did not like that."

Now, she grabed Ben's still full glass of whiskey and took a big sip out of it.

"A week later, they still weren't back from their trip and we all started to worry. My dad tried to contact Skyrider, but he was nowhere to be found. Vaught also wasn't willing to help and after another week, we got a phonecall from the police in Mexico City. They had found Jenny. Dead. Skyrider had brought her to an luxury villa... which had security cams installed."

Tears made their way down her cheeks.

"On the video... Skyrider had forced her to take drugs and while he... was recideing about how great the supes were, what great power they held over the world, so that they could do whatever they wanted and that she could be so happy to be with him... he started to force her into sex." Y/N had to get up, couldn't sit down anymore. "He kept talking and talking, but I can't remember any of the words anymore. The only... the only thing I remember were the screams... that escaped my little sister's mouth while he hammered into her so hard... that you could hear her hips break while blood was bursting from her sides."

She couldn't hold herself back anymore. While she hugged herself, Y/N sobbed and turned away from Ben. The supe didn't stay untouched from her telling, he had tuned into her thoughts and the pictures he saw made him understand her pain. He also slowly got up from his stool, the food already forgotten.

"He laughed. All the while... he assaulted and... mutilated her... he kept on laughing." she paused to try to take some deep breaths. "And... when her screams of pain were becoming to much for him... he... he cruched her skull while he came in her..."

Her legs gave in and she landed on her knees while he sobbed uncontrollably. The pain about it all was still so fresh. That's why she never wanted to talk about it. She'd buried it deep inside her and promised to never let her become weak again. Ben could understand that. He came around the table to her, sat down on the floor next to Y/N and scooped her up into his lap. Maybe, just maybe, he asked to much of her.

"I... I should have talked to someone, to my dad... I" she said and clung to Ben's chest like he was the only safety net she needed.

"Sh..." Ben stopped her from talking and rubbed her back lightly. "You could've done nothing against it."

"But... but I could have at least tried!" she looked at Ben. "I should've done something!"

"Y/N..." he took her cheek in his hand and dried it with his thumb. "It's not your fault." He catched her gaze so that she truly listened to him. "Trust me. No matter how... he still would've done it."

And eventhough she did not like it, Y/N could see the truth in his eyes and it made her question, if the supe infront of her that was holding her right now, had once done the same.

A/N: Yeah, the truth hurts. But in this universe it's a fact. And they bonded once more. Hopefully that will not backfire... 😉

@lyarr24 @k-slla @leigh70 @deadlydivergentgirl @deans-spinster-witch

[chiropteracupola]

now that I have finished watching All The Sharpe That There Is, we have made a Tier List of our Very Strong Opinions. behold.

further (condensed) commentary from yours truly and usual partner-in-crime @sailorpants under the readmore:

S: Eagle, Company, Battle

Eagle: 'the plot of this one makes sense,' 'it really does show (well!) that this was the first book,' 'one of the ones we rewatch,' 'a good episode of television!'

Company: 'Pete Postlethwaite is a great actor -- Hakeswill made me want to throw up,' 'the lads and also the horrors,' 'genuine emotions were elicited,' 'well-established team dynamic at this point'

Battle: 'bad men! good men! beautifulest ladies!,' 'if Perkins must die then at least he gets a really cool death and to be bridal-carried by Harper and mourned by everybody,' 'the fucked-up love square,' 'plot hangs together well,' 'this episode has the most women of any Sharpe episode: four,' 'I have watched this episode three times', 'these rewatches were with lust (for the beautifulest ladies)'

A: Enemy

Enemy: 'decently written,' 'all the lads are there,' 'type of enemy Hakeswill becomes isn't as compelling and the inconsistency brings down both his episodes,' 'egregious women-tossing,' 'it is cool that there are other women; however Sharpe would not do That,' 'French people allowed to be interesting as a treat,' 'Sharpe and Teresa SOULMATES quote [screams]'

B: Rifles, Honour, Sword, Siege, Waterloo

Rifles: 'bit of a rough start,' 'the first half is good and then it gets Weird... phobias of sorts are In There', 'TERESA!'

Honour: 'extremely cool fights in this one,' 'Ramona!!,' 'some of the best Chosen Men banter in the whole series,' 'fake-Sharpe's-death plotline is quite well done,' 'unfortunate nonsense'

Sword: 'epic Harris moments cannot earn this episode a better ranking,' 'good casting and the background characters are cool,' 'the Lass deserved much better than this episode gave her'

Siege: 'oh, the chemical warfare episode,' 'they've learned to workshop their plans since Honour,' 'made me believe that Sharpe and Jane's relationship could have worked out, 'plot hangs together well (rare in a Sharpe episode)'

Waterloo: 'the scale of it doesn't quite sit right,' 'pretty good episode,' 'Paul Bettany is uncanny and I don't like whatever it is is going on with him,' 'getting the gang back together for one last Lads Adventure!'

C: Regiment, Mission, Revenge, Justice, Challenge

Regiment: 'more time with the Chosen Men could have saved this,' 'Company was a better 'the army sucks' episode,' 'the wet soupy episode'

Mission: 'it takes me two minutes to remember what happens in this one whenever I think about it,' 'again epic Harris moments cannot save this episode,' 'quite a high SCUM score,' '[impact font] MARK STRONG'

Revenge: 'ehhhhhh,' 'Lucille's nail-gun is the only thing that is cool and fun,' 'weird vibes about it,' 'Ducos' Bond-villain stuff is needless escalation,' 'Frederickson's ending is fun'

Justice: 'he's a cop in this one,' 'don't like Hagman's mustache,' 'Jane plotline no good, '[from sailorpants] when I actually watch this one I'm gonna have THOUGHTS'

Challenge: 'would rank this higher but I do have receipts on the fact that I was having a Bad Time throughout,' 'Toby Stephens makes this worth watching,' 'almost everything else about it is bad,' 'high points in every SCUM category,' 'four whole named plot-relevant speaking-role-having women! haven't had that many since Battle!,' 'TOBY STEPHENS CUNTSERVACIOUS LITTLE OUTFITS'

D: Gold, Peril

Gold: 'we don't need to discuss why we are ranking it like this'

Peril: 'the secret good Peril that lives in my head is so cool but unfortunately it is not real,' 'they are trying to have Themes and it is not working,' 'casting director is now finding conventionally attractive men instead of weirdguys with interesting faces,' 'Daniel Deever should have his own entire show but unfortunately this is a show about Richard Sharpe (I would write about him so much if I felt that I could do him justice but therein lies the Research Pit)' 'most important point is that he has a locket with Antonia's picture but the rest I could take or leave and I will probably leave it'

[paperclipninja]

Time and memory

This is more a pondering out loud than any theory or idea I necessarily subscribe to at this point, but there's something about time and memory and the wackiness of both through season 2 that has me thinking and full disclosure: This is not a complete thought.

I have had this post sitting in my drafts for about a month because there's some connection my brain is almost making, but can't quite. And during that time a whole lot of ppl have delved further into the time and set/prop inconsistencies, so this post is a little bit sharing a whole lot of the metas I've had the pleasure of reading, and also an attempt to share my own thoughts on it all.

There are amazing posts delving into the time inconsistencies already (like The ineffable discontinuity of time in ALL of Good Omens season 2? and the other work @embracing-the-ineffable has linked in their pinned post that explores this and @indigovigilance's look at Continuity errors is another one).

Then @cobragardens points out these extremely sus time-related situations in 5 Good Omens Timefucks that Haunt me

Then others have pointed out inconsistencies in prop placement, costuming etc, such as They are out of order by @maufungi and @purplewillowchicken's observations about Crowley's chair in the bookshop

But then, THEN, Neil answered an ask about Crowley's knowledge that hand washing would become all the rage during the Edinburgh flashback and his response here (incl. the excerpt "Either [Crowley] has an understanding of science and the world, or he has visions of the future. Or he read up on the ineffable planning a long time ago. Your call") could indeed be very Gaiman-esque teasing or it perhaps a little bit of a hint.

When you take in how many time discrepancies or inconsistencies (whether this is prop or costume inconsistency/changes or timeline ones) there are throughout season 2 and consider that this is a show that is deliberate and fastidious in it's inclusion/exclusion of any details, it has to make you wonder.

Also, in the book of Good Omens, Crowley's watch shows the time for Another place as, "it's always too late" and it's stuck on one time. But in the series, we've never had reference to his watch in this way and the line, "It's always too late" said by Crowley in season 2, is, to me at least, quite ominous, almost defeated, like it's something he contends with often.

There is something about the way he says that line that struck me on first viewing and continues to on every subsequent watch. It's not just that the meaning is a little ambiguous; too late because Aziraphale is already in danger? Too late because they've always been in danger and they're simply staying one step ahead? Too late because no matter what Crowley and Aziraphale do, they're part of a bigger plan that they have no control over or ability to slow down? All of the above?

The way Crowley says, "it's always too late" comes across as quite personal to me. Like he feels responsible. Or, if we're going to go with some timey-wimey bendy-wendy stuff, it's like he keeps falling short of preventing or achieving something he's being trying to achieve for a long time. He sounds deflated.

And yes, it could be the constant looking over his shoulder and never finding peace, absolutely. As I said right off the bat, I don't necessarily believe what I'm writing is true, but more of a fun little "what if?"

There have been theories about time loops and the idea that Crowley (or everyone) is stuck in a loop, and I could see how memory could come into that. I don't necessarily think Crowley's memory has been tampered with by Heaven or Hell, but the idea that being in a loop impacts memory, and that each time he goes around it shifts or alters memories depending on what has been changed etc, totally tracks.

Part of me thinks that playing around with time loops etc is a bit out of GO universe, but then I remember that Crowley stops time and that is pretty darn significant, so anything's possible?

So what I'm throwing into the mix is this - what if time and memory, specifically Crowley's, are somehow connected? More specifically, his involvement in the creation of nebulae aka space, sort of attached him to different timelines? Or allowed him to travel through time in different ways?

Yes, this is whackadoo, but he can stop time, possibly manipulate it, what if he can jump around in it too? What if, just like Adam resetting the Earth, essentially setting it on a new trajectory and timeline, Crowley finds himself in different timelines at different times, trying to get to the one where Earth is safe, he and Aziraphale are safe, where it's not too late?

And what if he's either not aware of it or doesn't know which timeline he's ever in until it is too late? And that's why he doesn't recognise Saraqael and Furfur. Or, what if he has indeed seen the future and is desperately trying to alter the past to avert whatever he's seen? But in doing so, any changes mean that present Crowley doesn't remember these angels and demons he doesn't recognise, because they are a result of trying to alter the outcomes of the future?

I think this is all far too sci-fi and quite unlikely but, if I was going to humour myself a little more, the comment Crowley makes to Maggie and Nina, that he and Aziraphale have been talking for "millions of years" - I always took it at him just exaggerating the time they've known one another to make a point (which, honestly, I still think is the case). But if I wanted to support my own out there idea, arguably, if Crowley was travelling back and forth through time, trying to do whatever he's trying to do, then perhaps he really does have millions of years of conversations with Aziraphale under his belt?

And that's why sometimes props are different or in different places - something's been altered in the timeline and it flows into the present. Then of course there's the idea that the Metatron or God or some entity is manipulating time and messing with everything, again, maybe *insert shrug emoji here*?

Though I do keep coming back to Neil's comment about Crowley having visions of the future. Perhaps it's not so much travelling through time, as being able to see through time? I mean, there's the whole scene that never happened with the dream of the bookshop standing alone amidst destruction and while it's never been said whose dream it was, if I was a betting person, my money would be on Crowley. Ya know, the one who has visions of the future. Because Earth destroyed while the bookshop still stands would certainly explain the "it's always too late" comment too.

So that's the end of my half formed not-really thought. It seems ridiculous to write such a long post about something I'm not particularly convinced about, but I certainly agree there's something funky going on with time and the memory thing bugs me because it's not consistent enough to be a memory wipe situation (I don't think), but it's been made obvious enough we're meant to notice. Either that, or Crowley is just being a smartass which, honestly, is far more likely.

[wjhik]

Pussy pt. 2 /negative end/ (Jude Bellingham) *Smut*

A/N: Pre writing: don't know where i'm going with this one. Let's see where it goes. p.s. this is not the end of the series. if i get requests to continue it, it is not closed off. Post writing: kinda smutty; angsty; and a lil lgbtq+ love

Y/N's POV:

"I miss Jude. Not Jude. I miss what Jude used to be. Even if we weren't anything but cuddly friends, I miss when he used to talk to me. I can't believe he's pretending like nothing happened. I gave him my whole heart, and he just took it and smushed it into a billion pieces. And now he has the audacity to bring these girls that he's fucking with to the hang outs I PLAN. I can't not invite him. That would make it so awkward, but the least he could do is not rub it in my face." I'm laying down on my bed on my bed, my head hanging upside down from the end as Phoenix sits on my desk chair, scrolling on her phone while listening to my rants.

"I swear, if he brings someone here I'm going to kill him." She tells me. I've decided to invite my girls and their boyfriends to my apartment for some games and drinks. No more that 10 people. And of course with that, comes Jude. He's, without fail, brought a different girl to our hangouts, which is fine, but since this is a more intimate event, it would be to purely prove a point to me.

I simply sigh at Phoenix's statement. "You need to get hot tonight. Make him realize what he's missing. You need to wear and do everything you know drives him crazy. His lil' whore is gonna show up in a skimpy dress, hoping to turn him on, but you know what makes him tick. That'll show him what he's lost." I feel a gear click in my brain. I'm the person Jude talked to about all of his girls, and what he likes in them.

Phoenix has been ready for the past 15 minutes and I'm getting ready. I have my hair up in a half up half down ponytail using a claw clip. I have my hair curly. (natural for me, but curled if ur hairs straight) I'm wearing a little white sundress. It goes right under my knees. It has a corset bodice and is littered with strawberries and lambs. I have on some close-toe sandals. (no dawgs out today) I'm doing my makeup now. I did my base and put graphic white eyeliner. I have a blurred out velvety lip on and I put on some jewelry. I deck myself out in some gold and the necklace that Jude gave me in middle school. It has a 'j' on it. I leave the chain hanging on my neck and put on a white lacy choker.

"Really? Jude is into Little Bo Peep?" She asks me, raising her eyebrows at me. "Hey, Little Bo Peep is finding her sheep. Leave her be." I tell her, pouting and clipping my earrings. Phoenix comes up to me and squeezes my cheeks and shakes my face side to side. "You look adorbs." She tells me, slapping my face lightly. I hit her hand away and start cat fighting with her. We start laughing together as we hear the doorbell ring.

"Hello!!" I say, pulling Jane and Josiah into a hug. "Come in. Come in. Make yourself at home." I tell them. Jane helps me set up some things in the kitchen while Josiah and Phoenix move the table and couches in the living room to the ends of the room, making space to dance. Over time, people, including Phoenix's man, start to filter in. Everyone except he who shall not be named at his arm candy for the night. "Y/N, you really outdid yourself." Alex says, taking a bite out of some cheese and ham filled crackers. "Well, I did just assemble them, but thanks." I tell him, giggling. My happiness is quickly interrupted by a very familiar voice. I look over to the door where I see Jude and his girl of the night. I beautiful blonde girl, wearing a dress that leaves very little to the imagination. Jude takes his round greeting everyone and introducing his new girl. As I watch them walk up to Phoenix, Jude having to greet her because she's his best friend's girl, she quickly says some sly remark to Jude while wishing the girl luck. I suppose Phoenix and I have the same narrative about her, an innocent girl who doesn't know what she's getting into.

"Let's play a game!" Phoenix announces loudly. She quickly grabs some glasses, tequila, and an empty bottle. She seats us all in a circle, her sitting to the right of me and the left of her boyfriend. "Are we really playing spin the bottle?" I ask her. "No! We're playing dare or dare." She says. "Dare or dare?" Jude's blondie asks. "Yes, dare or dare. Truth or dare gets kind of boring since your man is such a pussy. He only chooses truth." She says. Jude's girl starts nudging him and laughing along with the group. She immediately stops when she looks at his face, his jaw is clenched and he's staring dead at Phoenix, while saying something to her. This poor girl. (we're a girls girl here+nate jacobs type beat)

"Okay, Y/n. Your turn." Milly says, passing me the bottle. I spin it and it lands on Alex. Now he gets to give me a dare. I look over to Jude and he's looking as mad as ever. Phoenix grabs Alex's face and whispers something in his ear. "Umm...Okay? Kiss her or take a shot." He says, pointing at Phoenix. Alex and Phoenix have a relatively open relationship. "Oh. Umm. Sure, why not?" Phoenix was my first kiss anyway. Once she found out that I still hadn't had my first kiss yet, she decided to help me out. Phoenix nudges me and points at Jude. He looks even madder than before. His girl is trying to comfort him, but is just getting pushed off.

(smut)

Phoenix grabs me and puts me on her lap. She starts kissing me. I don't feel anything since we're just friends, but she is an amazing kisser, I can't lie. She opens her eyes and see's Jude struggling to keep calm. She grabs my ass and that makes me let out a moan. She uses this opportunity to slip her tongue into my mouth. As her and I are making out, I open my eyes to see Jude storming past us, his girl trailing past him like a hungry puppy. Those two disappear somewhere in my house. Phoenix gets me off her and says, "You're welcome." I look behind me to try to see where Jude went. "Hey. Don't even worry about him. Let's have some fun." Phoenix says, helping me up. From that moment on it was shots and bear pong galore.

Jude's POV:

I walk into Y/N's room and slam the door shut while Emery follows behind me. "Jude, I'm sorry." She says. What is this girl on about? "Why are you apologizing?" I ask her, annoyed. "I'm just sorry you're upset. I wanted this to be a good night for you. I don't know what you're upset about, but I'm here for you-" She rambles on. This girl talks way too much. I need to shut her up. I grab her by her shoulder and push her onto her knees. I sit down on the edge of her bed and take off my pants and shove my dick in her mouth. She's gagging and spitting around it. That is fucking disgusting. I hear Y/N laughing outside. She looked so beautiful today. She knows exactly what I like and she took advantage of that. Why does she have to be such a cunt sometimes? I wish this was her right now. Why did she have to be so fucking stupid?

My thoughts are interrupted by a series of taps on my thigh. The one thing this girl has to do is suck me off, and she can't even do that properly. She really doesn't compare. I take my hand off the back of her head. "What? What is it?" I ask her, irritated. "Jude, you were fucking my throat. I couldn't breath." She tells me, taking deep breaths. "Take it, or leave." I tell her. She's nothing to me. She's only here to get me over how I fumbled Y/N. No, wait. She fumbled me.

She continues sucking me off. I go a little gentler on her, distracted by Y/N's voice. I wish this was her. I look down at her, and my hard on goes soft. She's a beautiful girl, no doubt, but she's not Y/N, and that'll never change. "Get up. Up." I tell her, grabbing her by the arm. She stands up and look at me. I quickly take off her clothes and the rest of mine. I push her into the bed, on her stomach. I line my dick up with her hole and push it in. I close my eyes and imagine Y/N here with me.

She lets out all sorts of lewd sounds. I suppose she's trying to keep me interested, but I want nothing more than for her to shut the fuck up. It's hard to picture Y/N when she's squeaking out moans with her very high pitched voice. I push her head into the mattress in an attempt to hide it. Her pin-straight blonde hair is hard to imagine Y/N. (sorry if you have pin-straight blonde hair)

I've finally gotten this girl to shut up and take it well. I'm picturing Y/N laying here, taking all of me. I look over to Y/N's side table where she has a picture of her and I on a school vacation together. I can't help but think about how badly I want her. "Fuck, Y/N..." I say quietly, throwing my head back in pleasure. I look down to see long golden locks splayed over the mattress. "What did you say?" I high pitched voice says. I look down to see Emery looking back at me. "Umm..." I say, awkwardly stopping. I look at her, pure sadness on her face. I resume my thrusts on her cunt. "You and I both know who I'm thinking about. It's not personal." I tell her. To my expectations, she stays quiet and allows me to continue fucking her.

Y/N's POV:

"Girl, this was so fun." Phoenix says to me at the door. "I know! We should do this again, sometime." I tell her. "Yes, we should. Let's go, baby?" Alex chimes in. They stayed after everyone left to help me clean up, and now that a majority was all cleaned up, they're leaving. I hang at the door until I see them get in the car safely. I sigh to myself and shut the door. I really wasn't expecting this to be as good of a day as it was, but I'm glad it was. It is now time to go to bed. It's been a long day. I can't wait to hit the pillow.

I pick up some loose pieces of garbage here and there before finishing up the last of the dishes. I put them in the drying rack and dry my hands on the towel hanging from the door handle of my fridge. I slowly make my way to my bedroom. I swiftly open the door to see a heart stopping sight. Jude is laying on the bed, MY BED, with his little fling on top of him, facing away from him. Both their eyes turn from wherever they were looking to me. I have a look of pure shock on my face. "What that fuck?!" I yell out. Jude is still laying there in shock. His girl looks back and Jude and clears her throat. "You're welcome to join?" She says, not getting the memo. Jude quickly jerks her off him and gets up. He starts profusely apologizing to me. I collect their clothes from around the room, again MY ROOM, and throw their underwear at them. Both Jude and his girl put on their underwear. "LEAVE!" I yell at Jude. I push him towards the door as his kitten follows, mainly in an attempt to collect her clothes from me. "Baby, I'm so sorry." Jude says to me as I push him out of my front door. "You're a fucking dick." I tell him, pushing him and his girl out, throwing their clothes onto the front lawn. He really is a pussy.

<- - ->

Alternate ending

Wattpad: funkyfishfeet

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[duhragonball]

Neon Genesis Evangelion 09

Okay, okay! I'll tell you all about it. You might want to sit down first. This will take a few minutes...

Last time, Asuka arrived in Japan to serve as the latest Eva pilot. She's already the most popular girl in school, and for some reason Suzuharu and Big Rigg Mahoney have started taking photos of her and selling them to her admirers. Well, the reason is money, obviously. That, and just being little shits.

Asuka seems to revel in the attention, but only because she feels entitled to it. She finds the other pilot, Rei, and introduces herself. Rei isn't particularly impressed.

Asuka wants to be friends, and Rei asks why, then says she'll do it if ordered by their superiors at NERV. Cold.

Oh, hey, remember Kaji? That asshole from the previous episode? The one who ditched the others and delivered that mysterious package to Gendo Ikari? Well, he's staying at the base for some reason. He seems to want to re-start his romance with Misato, but that doesn't stop him from just groping Ritsuko like they've been married for a year. Fuck Kaji, is what I'm trying to say.

Moving on, the real story of this episode is another Angel attack. This is the seventh one overall, and the fifth we've seen since the series started. Like the fifth Angel, this one is headed straight for the NERV base, but they're still reeling from that battle, so they can't afford to let it get that close. Instead, Misato deploys Units 01 and 02 to the shoreline, where they'll intercept the Angel as it makes landfall. If they can double-team the thing, they should be able to overwhelm it before it gets a chance to do anything.

That's the plan, anyway, but Asuka has her own plan, since she wants to make a big debut in Unit 02. She jumps into the surf and cuts the angel in half. Good job, except...

It splits into two monsters and continues attacking. Whoops!

We skip ahead to some time after the battle, but the photos tell the story. NERV was completely humiliated, because they had to call the UN for support. The UN dropped an "N2 mine" on the Angel to halt its advance. This is the same weapon used on the Third Angel from Episode 1. I should note that it didn't work at all in Episode 1, so I don't understand why it helps now. Each new Angel seems to be more powerful than the last, and this one defeated two Evas, which is unprecedented.

The UN's attack managed to burn off 28% of its mass, which temporarily incapacitated it, but it's only a matter of time before it regenerates and picks up where it left off. Okay, I guess that's fair, since the Third Angel needed to regenerate after getting N2'ed, but it didn't take very long. This one needs about a week.

Being, you know, literal children, Asuka and Shinji fail to learn anything from this debacle. Asuka defied orders and went into business for herself, but Shinji just stood there and watched like a dope. Maybe if he had taken some initiative and supported her play, they might have been able to make something work, but he always does as he's told. And this is a problem, because the two of them will have to fight the Angel all over again when it recovers, so they need to be on the same page.

I don't know why Kaji's even in this briefing. He observes that the UN strike bought them time to regroup, and "you can't ask for more than that," which is the stupidest thing anyone says in this conference, which includes bickering from literal children. Yes, Kaji, we can ask for more than this. The whole point of this meeting is to ask the Eva pilots to get their shit together and win the battle in a single engagement.

Another entry in my Kaji Sucks file: I hate this shot of him talking to Asuka. I hate that stupid look on his stupid face, I hate how Asuka has a crush on his useless ass. I hate his clip-on tie, which might be an animation error but it looks stupid either way. In this moment I'm rooting for the Angel to destroy the NERV base just to ensure he dies along with everyone else.

Kaji does have a suggestion to get the kids ready for the rematch, but he can't just say it in the meeting, he has to write it down on a computer file and give it to Ritsuko to give it to Misato, because fuck this guy.

Later, Shinji comes home to Misato's apartment and finds Asuka has moved in. She claims that she's taking Shinji's place, although she'd rather live with Kaji. I'm sure he'd love that too. Kaji is the worst.

Asuka gripes about how small the place is and wonders why all the doors in Japan have no locks, and then Misato shows up to explain that the Japanese way is to "consider the priorities and needs of others before one's own." Right, no other culture ever thought of that before Japan came along, Misato. And what does that have to do with the doors not having locks? If that made any sense, then why does the front door have a lock?

So what is the point of all this? Well, Misato explains that this was Kaji's idea: Shinji and Asuka will spend the next six days living together and doing everything in unison, in order to practice synchronizing their attacks when they face the Angel in six days. They both hate this idea, but there's no time for anything else.

This does not go well, mostly because Asuka is too proud to go along with it. This exercise with the Twister/DDR game is a failure, so Misato asks Rei to give it a try and she syncs up perfectly with Shinji's movements. So why not just have Rei and Shinji tag up for the battle? I mean, they worked well together a while back? It's a proven formula. Rei's Eva doesn't have weapons, but I'm pretty sure they can reconfigure 02 for Rei quickly enough.

So it's the Fusion Reborn plot, but with Asuka in the Vegeta role. She can either fight alongside Shinji, or she can ride the pine. This makes her upset, and her dumb friend tells Shinji to go talk to her because "he made her cry", but by the time he catches up with her she's already worked this out. She'll do the training.

And there's a training montage, and they succeed! I don't quite understand how this tranlates to Eva piloting, but at least they can stand to work together, which has to be an improvement.

Maybe it works a little too well. They sleep in separate rooms, of course, but one night Asuka gets up to use the toilet, then plops down in the wrong futon. There's a tense moment where Shinji's worried that his cassette player will wake her up, but it doesn't. She just lays there and murmurs the word "mama". He almost kisses her, but then he thinks better of it and sleeps on the floor.

Lips in anime are the worst. They always draw these characters with teeny-tiny mouths, which isn't a huge problem until they try to do a scene like this, where Shinji stares at a closeup of Asuka's lips, which look ridiculous because it's so badly misproportioned. He's trying to move in closer to kiss her except their heads are so weird that the pose ends up looking awkward.

I guess it doesn't matter, since he bails out at the last second, bitterly muttering that Asuka is "just a child". I'm not sure how to interpret that, but whatever.

Speaking of awkward kissing, Kaji makes out with Misato in the elevator. When they get to her floor, she steps out and tells him this is a mistake, and he replies with some bullshit about her words saying "no", but her lips saying "yes". Fuck this guy.

Later, she confides in Ritsuko that their relationship, which ended eight years ago, was "the biggest blemish" on her life. I'm curious to see why that would be, but that probably won't get paid off for a while.

Anyway, the big fight happens, and Shinji and Asuka execute the plan perfectly. This time they let the Angel come to them, but they cut their power cables and fight with the one minute of battery life they have. They cut the thing in half like before, then whale on the two halves before finally doing this double divekick move to destroy the Angel's core to end the battle.

The resulting explosion does leave the Evas in an undignified pose, but a win is a win.

This dude is embarrassed, but I didn't see him do a damn thing the whole time. He doesn't even have a name. I mean, they put his bio in the DVD extra features, but why should I care what they call him if they never say his name in the show? He usually just stands behind Gendo and tries to look important. Well fuck him. I'm calling him Clownshoes from now on.

And that's it. I guess this episode was good enough, but I'm not sure about the dynamic Asuka adds to the cast. She's at least active, which is more than I can say for Rei or Shinji, but a lot of time is spent just getting Asuka to do simple teamwork like "cooperating" or "facing reality". Even the NERV staff are getting frustrated about having to work with children, even though the Evangelion program seems to depend upon it for some reason.

In the end, that's just what the show is about, so I can't complain that it nails the depiction of putting children behind the wheel of a super-weapon. It's either a power fantasy or a nightmare, depending on your point of view, and this show tackles that pretty damn well.