#i'm pausing a LOT
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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How many times have we done this, Interceptor? You betrayed me at one point.
composition
#pokemon rejuvenation#melia#emma#did i take a screencap of the entire altar incident and pause it frame by frame to transcribe the backwards text?#no#maybe#perhaps#no fr tho i love all of the small touches in 13.5#the replay value is phenomenal#i know i'm not the only one who finds paragon melia off#who even is melia anyway#melanie + maria?#what about emma?#only upon drawing this did I realize how nearly identical Melia's Archetype winx club fit and the Emma “disguise” are#working on a theory about that whole disguise situation and might post something soon#in an actual post tho bc it's probably bad to be abusing tags like this#but the stream of consciousness format is so fun#anyway i had a lot of fun making this. trying to make art for fun and for me again. 2024.#linked the composition inspo in the post body! super dope great study
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set entirely within the Living Lands!
takes place shortly after Deadfire!
dynamic rock-paper-scissors combat requiring weapon switches!
context-sensitive ability and spellcasting button!
skill trees instead of classes!
no romances with your companions!
#pillars of eternity#avowed#i've been seeing a lot of negativity and doubt regarding this game#but honestly the first thing that's given me pause is this rps-style combat#i don't wanna be switching weapons all the god damn time#but even so i'm still jazzed about avowed#and! it's all in alpha! this shit could change!#really wish people would cool it on the 'OMG WTF RUINED FOREVER!!!!!!!!' mindset
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"I'm.. better at hiding it" screaming, gagging, collapsing— Obi-Wan is this a joke to you— is tHIS A JOKE—?! Anakin looks fully baffled too, not believing Obi-Wan and thinking he's joking but also for a moment there he seems like he's about to ask him, are you serious? And frankly. Isn't it the entire conflict of those two? I'm better at hiding it. If only you weren't so good at this Obi-Wan, perhaps you wouldn't earn that infinite sadness you had predicted for yourself. i'll perish now.
#That way he looks playful and teasing but the millisecond of pause between the 'I'm' and the 'better'. He's talking for real.#And the fact he's saying this MOMENTS after roasting Anakin for his secret thing with Padme and the real reason why Anakin is so agitated#is honestly A LOT.#i am entire too normal about this. conceal don't feel. oh shit obi-waned it.#Obikin#obikinedit#Star Wars#swedit#starwarsedit#anakin skywalker#obi wan kenobi#the clone wars#star wars the clone wars#tcw#Obi Wan#Anakin#buns.all#buns.edits
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When a character has the most intriguing backstory and piques your interest but you haven't even gotten to see the character fight
#legends of avantris#finally found a DnD podcast that absolutely delights me and isn't tarnished by my ex#on episode 5 rn and only just saw this backstory blurb and I had to pause cause that's so fucking interesting to me#and yeah in five episodes there hasn't been any combat but honestly hadn't even noticed until the blurb mentioned him fighting with chains#pretty sure there's like 50+ episodes out already so i have a lot to catch up on lmao#I'm very excited to see some fighting#kee speaks#BUT LIKE#Fire genasi forced to power a train?? He uses the chains that bound him to the chain to fight??#I want to read some backstory about how that captivity happened and how he got out#(also the guy that plays him has the best character voice for him and his laughter is the best)
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if you're watching agatha all along then you probably like:
-absolutely unhinged & feral aubrey plaza
-surreal imagery
-dark comedy
-spookiness
-occasional musical numbers
in which case might i suggest watching fx's legion
#agatha all along#legion#aubrey plaza's best role hands down she is SO so unhinged in this show#i just need more ppl to watch it 😔#i need more ppl to experience lenny#it's uhhhhh. a lot darker though fyi#i'm typing this post while paused at a moment i know is gonna make me jump ahdjhshdgs
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I'm not ready to shut up about Aveline and Carver--so, when you go see Aveline in Act 1, you can catch up with her a little bit and that's where this conversation can happen:
Aveline: "It's just one more change, though. The real end for me was Ostagar. What about you, Carver? You were there. Do you feel something similar?" Carver: No. Aveline: All right, then. Bit of a tit, your brother.
I wanted to see what she would say if Carver isn't in the party. Instead, she says this:
Aveline: Carver was there. I imagine he feels something similar. If he allows it.
......well, at least she didn't call him a tit?
#dragon age 2#da2#carver hawke#aveline vallen#she's slightly nicer to him when he's not there but she's still like 'maybe he feels something similar but probably pretends not to'#like i'm not gonna pretend that carver doesn't bottle any feelings--he doesn't openly talk about bethany a lot for a reason#but to suggest he pretends to be unfeeling about things like ostagar is incorrect like he CLEARLY feels a lot about it#because he associates the battle at ostagar with losing his home and sister to the darkspawn#after playing as a warrior hawke who is best friends with aveline i do have a little more insight into why she might think this about carve#when hawke is a warrior they were at ostagar. they share that traumatic experience with aveline and if they're friends#they discuss it in a way that i think aveline *wants* y'know? but with carver he doesn't respond the way she wants him to#so she gets frustrated since even if she tried to talk to hawke about it... hawke wasn't there. hawke doesnt KNOW what ostagar#was like but carver does... but it's like aveline is ready to assume the worst of carver a lot of the time?#like 'carver doesn't talk about it because he's a tit who pretends not to feel' is the vibe i get from this but aveline...#that's like calling you a tit because you don't want to openly discuss all your feelings about your dead husband#listen aveline and carver are so similar but they have such key differences like they both survived the horror of ostagar#and lost a loved one to darkspawn while fleeing lothering AND they both blame hawke for it to a degree#even though they both know that's not right and that it wasn't really hawke's fault#they're both stubborn warriors with daddy issues looking to find their place#and when it comes to flirting? well i don't think carver's as bad as aveline#but i played MotA i know all about 'you could tame its wild heart'#but the key differences come in how they the end the game y'know? especially if carver's on the friendship path as a warden#i still haven't made him a templar but something tells me he ends up more on the same road as aveline#vs when he's a grey warden and able to be away from kirkwall and find a place on his own#y'all i could write a whole essay on aveline and carver but i paused my game to write this so i should go back to that sksksk
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could you tell me more about why you dislike femskk?
okay disclaimer before i begin: this is not meant to be a dig on every person who enjoys femskk. the biggest reason i don't like it is honestly because it's just not my cup of tea and honestly it really makes no difference to me if other people like it. but beyond that my biggest issues with it are
1. the phenomenon of fans "yuri-ifying" the most popular m/m ship and then using that to prove they like female characters and f/f ships. this is not a bsd-exclusive thing; it happens with stsg too and i don't like femstsg for the same reason. but there's a big difference between actually liking female characters and just genderbending (or even making transfem) the big m/m ship. i literally went to the f/f category in bsd on ao3 the other day looking for fics and about half of them are skk fics instead of fics about like. the actual female characters in bsd. who i was looking for fics of. similarly, there have been some redraw trends going around twitter - specifically the i prefer girls cover redraw - and i have seen. i don't even know how many femskk redraws of that (along with a couple femfyolais and a femrimlaine) but only one redraw with actual female characters from bsd. same with the scene 14 redraw that was going around, and while that one wasn't originally two female characters, i have still seen significantly more femskk (and femsigzai, femsigchuu, femfyolai, etc) than i have ships with even one character who is female in the source material.
and imo this phenomenon is made even worse in the bsd fandom bc so many fans just see bsd as the skk show. so of course they're writing off the actual female characters; they literally don't care about anything besides skk. and obviously i can't do anything to force anyone to care about other characters but like.... bsd has so many other wonderful characters and dynamics (both romantic and platonic) that a good half of the fanbase won't even glance at because they're not skk. i do like skk, but bsd is about so much more than just them. they are, objectively, only one small part of it. like if you only care about skk, then just be outright about it and don't pretend you're "proving" you like female characters and sapphic ships bc you like femskk too
2. of the fans who only like skk and nothing else about bsd, most of them. don't even characterize dazai and chuuya correctly? i think the some of the best skk characterizations i've seen have been from people who actually like other characters and ships too, and some of the worst skk characterization i've seen has come from people who literally don't care about any other ships or characters. this isn't a hard and fast rule obviously but even with 30k skk fics on ao3, i have struggled to find ones that actually feel true to their characters. and the characterization seems to only get worse when it's femskk. if you're just going to turn femdazai and femchuuya into two completely different people, what's the point in it even being skk? why not write k.ousano or h.igugin or even a ship with one canonically female character? if you have to change the core characteristics of both dazai and chuuya... do you even really like them?
3. about femdazai: i actually don't mind the transfem dazai headcanon in general but most fans get her wrong. i made a post about it here but basically so many times i see femdazais that are just. completely unrecognizable as dazai. you can't strip away core aspects of dazai like idk the fact that dazai doesn't show any skin from neck to toe just because you made her a girl. i have seen some femdazai that's good! but i have seen so much that is just fundamentally wrong for dazai's character as a whole. mostly on twitter.
4. about femchuuya: i really truly just don't get femchuuya. i THINK the hype here is probably bc lesbians seem to get attached to chuuya (which. valid. i am also a lesbian chuuya fan.) and so they want to draw a chuuya they can be attracted to (i.e. femchuuya) which like. cool whatever i'm not here to judge. but looking at it from a "would this character actually identify as female" perspective, i don't actually think i can picture that for chuuya. maybe it's just because i so strongly hc them as nonbinary? idk. this one is honestly just a neutral "i don't see that but you do you"
tl;dr: from what i've seen, femskk is often mischaracterized, and genderbending the big m/m ships in a fandom is often a way fans "prove" they like the female characters and f/f ships while not actually caring about anything other than their main m/m ship
#the first point is also why i don't particularly care for fem any m/m ship in any fandom. that's not exclusive to femskk#femskk is just. there is a LOT of it that i see and i would much rather see more art/fics/etc. for the canonically female characters#i don't like k.ousano but i would prefer they have more fics in the bsd f/f tag on ao3 than a ship that. isn't canonically f/f#like it's already hard to find f/f content (and just stuff for female characters in general) in ANY fandom#so to have to filter through not only femskk fics but also other canonically m/m ships made fem#while i'm specifically looking for fics with yosano lucy higuchi lucy louisa margaret gin etc etc is. frustrating#i'm not saying femskk shouldn't be a thing or that they shouldn't be in the f/f tag but#i wish they weren't the number 1 f/f ship in the fandom#i wish there was more of a balance and the canonically female characters got more appreciation from the fandom in general#so anyway this isn't me trying to sway people out of writing/drawing femskk bc i know that's never going to happen#it's just a wish for more bsd fans to appreciate other characters too#also sorry if this doesn't make a lot of sense; i had to pause halfway through to go pick up my sister sfdghjkjl#and once again this is not an attack on femskk enjoyers or anyone specific!!! just me having opinions abt the fandom in general#asks#anon asks
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youve probably gotten this question a dozen times but im just nosy, have you ever read grrm's other work a song of ice and fire? (NOT the tv show) if not, the way you post about messmer & marika's relationship makes me feel like youd love everything going on in those books haha
i do get a lot of comments telling me my OCs looks like characters from that (?) (and to this day i still do not look up any of those characters to see how they look like aksjfjkdfjkd), so a lot of ppl just assume i've read those books but i have never read any of it. yeah 🥲🥲
but some of my mutuals do blog about the show and the books a lot, and ngl after the DLC, im kinda curious ? so maybe i'll check it out in the future... idk yet.
last time i checked out a Western fantasy series........... it was crazy. (the fit i was having after i read through all Witcher books because of the TV show...... idk if anyone even remember that phase of this blog, but the reason i started playing videogame in the first place is because of Witcher)
up until this point i only look at Elden Ring in comparison to other Fromsoft games (and Sinosphere culture influence in the theme and design), but lately i do feel like i should check out GRRM work as well, but i also feel like it'd literally make my brainrot even worse so................ decision, decision.
#now that i think about it. me liking Pavetta and Yennefer and Ciri a lot back then is truly THE foreshadowing....#and the thing is... yeah i do like Witcher but the way the writing of female characters is like playing russian roulette in both the game#and the book kinda scar me for life (as in sometimes it's really peak but like 2 pages later i have to sit thru reading about their cleavag#and tw3........... everyone who plays that game know what that pause means#so once i started playing fromsoft games i stopped consuming western media altogether cuz that and jjk take up all my time#spiderverse last year is my first western media fandom in a while#but we'll see ! if anyone wants to sell TSOIaF to me feel free to go ahead i'm listening#ask#anon#reply
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literally laughed out loud at Matt's face when he admitted that Lester was trying to hide something, truly the scrungliest detective in Newfaire
#which. given the vibes. is probably saying something.#made a joke immediately before the episode to not ask if I'm using references and then this happened and I was like#'wait I can use beacon for important things. like pausing the current episode while it's airing live on my laptop for ref purposes.'#if you're like 'jeez megs. you keep bouncing around a lot in terms of styles and feels lately. what's up with that.'#the answer is that I need to be able to do literally whatever my brain puts forth as a challenge so I gotta practice many things.#or I'll die.#anyway this turned out very well for what I was going for. delighted with that!#but pencil/charcoal shading from ref was my thing in high school so I'm not surprised I can still maintain that well enough#been a WHILE since I've done pencil shading on csp but it's very fun. I should really find some decent graphite pencils again.#OR SOME DECENT CHARCOAL sorry I keep failing to find charcoal pencils I like and it's driving me nuts#candela obscura#co spoilers#lester shaw#critical role fanart#my art
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Love Between Fairy and Devil in all seriousness - Episode 8 (description in alt)
#cdramaedit#love between fairy and devil#cang lan jue#苍兰诀#dongfang qingcang#xiao lan hua#it was a cute moment but when he paused that's all I could think about#so have some more silliness for them#she's not that small but he's still significantly taller than her#this is where I'm living right now and I am enjoying it a lot#(it's my first time putting description in ALT so if you have any comments/suggestions I am open)#Incorrect Quotes United#gifs#mine#ragongif
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Harm and Mac + coin toss.
#jag#harm and mac#harm x mac#harmon rabb jr#sarah mackenzie#look at them being dumbs and such#at this rate I'm really thinking Harm won the toss#since he won a lot over the years in this sort of competition#jagifs#btw I guess this is a pause in my long ass hiatus of no posting a thing
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horizontober 2023 | 27: redo | [original shot]
(original also below the cut if you want to compare them on one screen!)
#horizontober2023#horizon forbidden west#hfw#aloy#tenakth dragoon#a redo/reimagining of the shot that really started my creative vp journey#i mean i'd used photomode plenty before that one#but i hadn't *really* gotten into trying to coax aloy into weird positions/pausing mid movement to get shots#and since then i've tried out a lot more post-photomode editing - like my favorite of the over/under water split shot#also it was the first in the face(paint)s series - which i still need to finish T_T - and for a while that really pushed me creatively#i tried something different this time re: waterline and it was much easier#not sure it works quite as well? or would be doable on a different shot? but i'm satisfied#it would be a dream for guerrilla to let us do this in-game in H3...#hfw underwater
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coming whenever...
#just bc i am completely obsessive atm doesn't mean it's coming soon#but i named the town & wanted to post it so!#now i'm trying to decide if i want to put the truffles on pause or what#the queue is at a good pause point but i have lots of screenshots to edit#so 🤔#the sims 4#the sims#sims#ts4 gameplay#ts4 story#grimcoast harbor
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Diavolo, you have peacock feathers in your hat. Look, if you want your relationship to be a secret, you should stop sharing your partner's motifs!
#dialuci#obey me diavolo#obey me shall we date#diavolo x lucifer#obey me dialuci#obey me screenshot#but I'm also laughing over how Diavolo and Lucifer were just away for the majority of this event#and when they had the meeting to discuss the calamity of the week Diavolo paused to ask Lucifer if his fast was difficult for him#before returning to business as usual#the fanfics colonize in empty spaces my friend and there were a lot of them#my thinks#obey me event#obey me nightbringer
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Sometimes caring So Much feels like a curse in this cruel world. but sometimes it allows me to connect with other people who also care A Lot and together we actually are able to make a difference. And that is literally the best feeling in the entire world.
#i'm just some woman with a committee addiction. pay it no mind.#This is a post about an injustice you've probably never heard of. it reflects larger injustices but this particular one impacts <100 ppl#A few weeks ago i realised that if i couldn't do something about this one...it would change me forever.#I couldn't not TRY to do something. Obviously. but also if my efforts had no impact? it would ruin my life. a bit.#after weeks of teeth gritting work and looking into several more weeks of it to come I'm going to take a moment to pause and say:#we're getting somewhere. we're really getting somewhere.#ugh i sound so dramatic. I guess it is dramatic. but w/e#im not gonna talk about local politics & organising because im not an idiot#but the siren call of posting ...!#causes me to say vague shit that sounds so much more dramatic than if I just. told u what im up to.#most of which is having hour long phone conversations with my mother where one of us is crying#and sending lots of texts#and BEING IN A UNION. EVERYONE JOIN A UNION.#me fein
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