#i'm not the patient type

[sappho-favourite-pupil]

Idk, is Tiana willing to kiss me now, or what?

I'll just wait for her, on this very leaf.

[hikarisbeam]

괴물 / Beyond Evil BTS

[dr-robert-chase-apologist]

when you're watching House and the patient has your diagnosis:

[suffersinfandom]

I feel for the Izzy fans, I really do. It sucks to have your favorite character killed off, especially when you feel like their death serves no narrative purpose. It genuinely hurts to lose a character that you identify closely with, and it's okay to be sad and grieve. The character might not be real, but the grief is. Let people mourn. Don't be rude to the ones who are just being sad in their little corners of the internet, yeah?

That said.

Some of the stuff I've seen in the OFMD fandom today? Worst shit I've seen in a fandom that I love and care about, and grief is no excuse. I know I'm a no one in this fandom and I'm mostly typing into a void, but I've got to get some things out:

The show doesn't deserve to be canceled. None of the creators, producers, or writers deserve to be canceled. Nothing queerphobic, homophobic, or ableist happened.

Izzy's death was not an insult or a cruelty or a targeted attack.

David Jenkins and the rest of the writers did not gaslight and abuse anyone (yeah, those are take I've seen).

It wasn't "objectively" a cheap or meaningless or badly-written death. You can hate it and that's okay, but that's still subjective!

Izzy was not the main character or the "heart" of the show. The heart of the show -- the show itself -- is Ed and Stede's relationship. We have been told as much.

"Ed hasn't faced any consequences for his actions." He has though? He didn't gaslight girlboss his way back into everyone's hearts. Izzy is not Ed's hapless and helpless victim. He was almost beaten to death and ran around in a penitence onesie with a catbell on; I think those were consequences.

"How do you feel when gay characters are randomly killed off to help a straight couple progress their narrative? Not good, huh? That's how disabled fans feel." It's okay to feel that way, but don't make any sweeping assumptions about disabled fans. I'm disabled and I'm gonna say that's not what happened here.

"How dare you kill off this character who's abused, flawed, suicidal, disabled, and queer!" Ed is still right over there, yeah? Check, check, check, check, and check. (Little note: I've seen a lot of "he's not disabled!" Even if you don't buy the kneebrace ((Ed Teach with bad joints is so important to me, shhh)), what about invisible disabilities? What about mental health issues? I'm not here to diagnose a fictional character, but it's clear to me that Ed has mental health problems that dramatically impact his life.)

"It's sick that Izzy died in the arms of his abuser apologizing to him." I don't even know where to start with this one, but I get the feeling that some parts of the fandom only consider physical abuse valid. Mental, verbal, and emotional abuse are pretty fucking damaging and I think it's sick that some folks think they aren't actually abuse.

People who enjoyed the last episode of season two aren't media illiterate. People who love Gentlebeard aren't abusive narcissists.

I just.

I really, truly feel for Izzy fans for I too have lost a blorbo. I'm giving a huge hug to the Izzy enjoyers who aren't out there making threats and calling everyone abusers and being outright hostile to anyone who had the nerve to enjoy this season. Like, I genuinely hope you guys are doing okay, and if you need an ear, I'm game.

[omaano]

"Cassian's face is a brittle thing, no person's eyes should shine as painfully tearful as his. Kino offers his hand and Cassian - bright as the sun, steady as a roc, fluid as water Cassian - accepts it with shaking fingers. He tells Kino everything."

Art for we're spitting off the edge of the world by Xenomorphic for the 2024 Star Wars Big Bang @swbigbang. It is an amazing Canon Divergence Fix-it fic from one of the most memorable moments of Andor onwards, with beautiful prose that fits the mood of the show so so well and will make you feel just as deeply for these characters. Please give it a read and heap some love on my team's amazing and hardworking author, they were such a delight to work with!❤️

[rey2rey]

hihi! i've pretty much lost motivation for reyes again because my interest all sort of all over the place recently but i also don't want to give up on him since he is my child now, so! i'm going to work on re-writing him again because i'm also really... bored with his current plot and everything. he just seems dull to me again and he deserve more than that! i'm very sorry with how bad updates have been recently </3 i'm hoping it won't take me too long to re-work him but if i rush then it'll just end up with me coming to this point again, so i'm going to take my time and just hope it won't be forever like the last time i've tried this!

[izzyspussy]

we went over the 14yr long torture session in my last therapy visit actually, and i told her that toward the end i was fantasizing about and then actively considering walking into traffic because if i got catastrophically injured then they would have to treat my pain. and she told me that's not an uncommon thing for people to do. that she has heard that many times before.

like think about that. we are so moralistic about drug use and have politicized a particular type of medicine so much, and doctors are so uncompassionate toward and even suspicious of patients who are in pain because of it, that it's NOT UNCOMMON for people who are otherwise not suicidal to start completely genuinely longing to get hit by a fucking car just for the chance to be oh so graciously provided the absolute bare fucking minimum of care.

think about how many different things have pain as a symptom. how many things have pain as the only symptom the patient is aware of. how many of them are life or death crises. heart attacks. blood clots. strokes. bleeding ulcers. those are just what i can think of off the top of my fucking head, AND I'M NOT A FUCKING DOCTOR.

what i had, for example, feels exactly like appendicitis. and they left it for fourteen years because my only symptom was excruciating pain and i didn't fit their stupid little (completely unsupported by evidence, btw) diagnostic mnemonic. if it had been appendicitis, or anything else as immediately deadly that "just" hurts, i would have fucking died the same night i got sent home from the emergency room with "medical" "advice" to take some tylenol and rest - for the first time, that is. out of dozens. how many people do die that way?

because addicts are Bad. and because doctors are too arrogant and biased to practice medicine on the basis of evidence and informed consent when the profit model and conservative propaganda make it soooo easy to stay in the good old days of paternalism instead.

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[genesisvirus]

Hey! I wanted to ask what is up with Fum bot and mr. Fun computer in you guys' au? I know what happened to Funbot, however not Mr. Fun computer in the horror mode. Btw what is their relation in the horror mode?

so i would just do one character at a time since these get long on their own but you know what? it's the robot siblings, they get to be talked about together why not.

MR. FUN COMPUTER

-the oldest of the two, despite still acting rather childish, since its programming is fairly simple. its fairly logical and simple, and thus pretty innocent, as it doesn't fully understand emotions and thus does not recognize that people are capable of being Evil and Mean.

-as such, while mr. fun computer views everyone as its friend, its ofc a prime victim of bullying from raddy. usually its dads put him in his place tho, so he doesn't always get a chance to target it.

-clukr was the one that made it, however it used to run very similar to how current AI is now. it was only when garnold gave a few suggestions and clukr tweaked it a bit did it gain a sense of individuality and sentience, so technically both of them did create mr. fun computer in a sense.

-despite being older, fun bot is usually the "responsible" one in their relationship, especially since she has more mobility. tbf tho, mr. fun computer's table does in fact have wheels installed, to help it move around.

-he gets along with almost everyone, however gray and wenda find it to be a bit much, OWAKCX is scared of him, and jevin doesn't understand it and so keeps his distance. durple also doesn't interact with it, and so holds no opinion.

-i like to imagine fun bot can carry mr. fun computer like prototype and scag in regretevator.

-his battery does need to be plugged in to charge from time to time, however, he can go without direct power for a while, so long as his battery has juice. meaning he can go outside and not need to be plugged in.

-mr. fun computer actually did meet black before the incident, and was very confused when it was acting odd the next time they met. that time was when its mere presence caused a virus in mr. fun computer.

-black's corruption took the form of a virus when it attempted to attack mr. fun computer. while his sentience managed to counteract most of the corruption so that he didn't lose his free will, it still affected his processes and gave him the same amount of awareness black has. he knows what it knows, what it's done and told the others, and what it's doing to people currently.

-while mr. fun computer is still "there" mentally, he's definitely not handling the influx of information well, and most of what he says now is warnings.

-it's been stuck at the robotic family's place since the corruption started, however i do think brud had found it at some point and helped it out. brud didn't exactly listen to any of its warnings tho, and the two ended up scattering when one of the abnormals was nearby, but atleast mr. fun computer's wheels were working now.

-it wanders around the place to find survivors. while it's not being controlled like the other abnormals, it's still considered one and thus the other corrupteds don't actively attack it. and for some reason, its battery hasn't died yet..

-i've already shown it in an art post, but pinki and jevin do end up finding mr. fun computer, to the computer's horror, as it does NOT want to be near jevin. pinki has no clue what it means when it warns about jevin tho, but jevin fully knows.

FUN BOT

-she calls herself a robot sprunki, aka a sprunki mimicking a robot, but that's not really a thing and it's obvious she's man-made.

-unlike mr. fun computer, both garnold and clukr worked together to create fun bot, rather than one building off the other's idea. hence why she has a mix of each one's colors, to symbolize that unity.

-while she was programmed to understand emotions a bit better, she still only really knows how to feel and express happiness, and as such she's usually rather chipper. that doesn't mean they don't experience other emotions, they're just more dulled, and they don't fully grasp them at times. it's easier for her to recognize those emotions in others rather than in herself.

-i usually leave lgbt headcanons out of these for its own post, but yea no i gotta talk about it. she does realize she's very uncomfortable with he/him pronouns, and hanging out with pinki and vineria has made her question her own gender expression, despite lacking an actual sex. once clukr had the talk with her (since he Gets It), and mr. fun computer pulled up information regarding gender, she eventually requested to be referred to as a she, and has been far happier as a result.

-her parents and sibling support her ofc, although there definitely was a wtf moment with garnold, in the sense of "how did we build a robot that can experience gender dysphoria?????" clukr just shrugs it off lmao.

-her and brud are friends and hang out quite a bit, along with that she's best friends with sky.

-she absolutely loves singing with oren and simon, however it does dislike raddy and gets annoyed with his bullying, so it's difficult finding those two in the same room together, unless fun bot's defending people from raddy.

-while she has enough sentience to ignore the three laws of robotics when needed, it does still affect her at times, and one glaring example is how she can't handle holding a weapon for any reason. some things are okay, but she'll actively have an error if she's forced to hold something like a knife, axe, gun, or similar items.

-in regards to the whole "being immortal and thus unkillable" thing on the wiki, it's kinda true and kinda not? you can damage her body and destroy it, however the body can be replaced, so long as her motherboard is intact. she'll live so long as her motherboard is okay, however options for bodies does become limited, as garnold and clukr are really the only ones that can make a suitable body for her. you can see why this becomes a problem later down the road.

-she loves hanging out with pinki and vineria, as they're fun company, and don't mind doing "girl things" with her, which is gender euphoric for her.

-she was the one that first noticed something was wrong with mr. fun computer, however she didn't have time to do much with the information, as that was when durple attacked clukr. garnold told fun bot to get out of there, and so valuing sky's safety above all else, got the kid out of the house and away from the danger. she overestimated garnold's strength and was under the belief he and the rest of her family would be okay, and so mostly prioritized sky. it was only when nobody had shown up at sky's place, after a few days, did she start to worry about them.

-the two camped out at sky's place for safety, however once it started sinking in that her family wasn't coming for them, she wanted to go find them, which sky was against. the two fought about it until eventually fun bot decided to leave anyway, ordering sky to stay put and keep safe.

-fun bot didn't even get to their house, as durple managed to find it and got a hit in, cracking its visor screen. fun bot evaded him for a bit until sky found them and helped fun bot get away from durple, however the cracked screen was extremely concerning - not only could she not see out of that side, but her body would randomly have "glitch attacks" and have spasms. the two were hoping garnold would be able to fix it, however they were unaware that garnold was stalking them to their place.

-eventually garnold ended up stabbing sky thru the eye with a metal rod, causing fun bot to freak out. she was trying to get garnold to stop as he kept stabbing sky with metal rods, however she didn't know what to do since she didn't want to hurt her father. the only thing that made him pause his attack was when fun bot kicked him, but that only turned his aggression on her. the two ended up tussling, leading to fun bot getting pinned to the floor. she did manage to grab one of the metal rods and swing it at garnold, which got him off.. and activated the springlocks in his suit.

-fun bot had to watch as garnold was dying in front of them, realizing that she caused that herself. he didn't even instantly die, he was bleeding out in front of her, however she couldn't move to either attempt to free him or put him out of his misery, as her body quite literally shut down upon the revelation that she attacked a person. it took a long while for him to finally stop moving, and she was the only one still alive. once she could finally move again, she verified that sky was in fact dead, and ran from the place.

-as of right now fun bot is on its own, however she's attempting to find other survivors. she did finally get to her family's house, and upon seeing both mr. fun computer and clukr gone, she decided to be optimistic about it and hope they survived, despite the fatal blow she vaguely witnessed clukr receive..

[whentherewerebicycles]

hmm not very impressed by the eye doctor... he was 30 minutes late to start with and then he did the "1 or 2" thing like three times total and none of the options were any better than my current lenses. then instead of continuing to try he was like ok we'll order these lenses (even though the one he picked was still blurry?). i was like oh that's not quite... i was still having trouble with those... and he was kinda impatiently like well your eyes are dilated so we won't be able to tell for sure until you come back and your eyes aren't dilated. sir you were the person who dilated my eyes literally five minutes earlier... why would you have done that if it meant you couldn't get an accurate prescription?

[the-blossica-fan]

Greetings!

I am curious, what happens to a character when they "die" in the battlefield? Like we know they don't actually die in a literal sense since we can still access them in the suitcase after the battle. But what do you think happens? Like what is the process?

My thoughts on how it works is like basketball. When a player gets injured heavily and cannot play anymore (like dying on the battlefield), then there is a timeout or foul and they are replaced by a player on the bench (or the 4th team member in their Udimo form). The injured player is immediately rushed for medical attention and the rest of team continues on without them.

For example, I remember a time when my sister was playing and Avgust passed away suddenly and Windsong came out of the suitcase from her Udimo form to replace him (he was quickly avenged). I also wonder what happens when a kid is injured like that. Will they rush them to Laplace like they did with Erick on her character anecdote (when she started losing conciousness and bleeding)? What would that scenario be like in Avgust's case?

Hello my friend!!

I feel like not only does it depend on the enemy but also the circumstances. Like, if you get defeated by a simple enemy that launches common arcane skills, it's not as dangerous and can be treated with simple healing spells.

I'll get into details after.

As for how, yeah it might be as simple as that, for us and the enemy. If we're going with the "arcanists randomly appear to kick ass" we can assume that when one gets injured or unable to fight anymore (due to whatever circumstances), another selected arcanist walks out to take their place while the other is escorted inside for treatment.

Same with our enemy because, as a common saying here goes: "Lo que es bueno pal pavo es bueno pa la pava" (it means if a thing applies to a certain group or person, it's valid to apply it to another group or person)

So you have to wait for your enemy to be carried away and replaced by another enemy, it's only fair.

I believe there's a small fear over sending young arcanists outside due to their arcanum and resistance. If someone like August were to get hurt by an ultimate, they'd have to carry him to the foundation for his safety and health. The foundation can provide a more thorough examination for the injured arcanists and the more gravely damaged, especially children who are under Tooth Fairy's jurisdiction.

The damage also depends on if it was an ultimate or if it was a normal attack, and also the type of enemy. A boss defeating your ally with an ultimate can and will get them to an emergency room unless they're known for applying shield or high resistance skills which may minimize, but not eliminate, all damage.

Kakania, Ezra and Eternity who damage themselves during attacks may receive a different treatment due to constant injuries. Semmelweis doesn't count as her body is different from a normal arcanist's, she might need to drink blood even if she's reluctant or doesn't want to.

Kids are less sent outside to fight unless the enemy doesn't cause as much damage.

And I haven't read Erick's anecdote 😓

In a more specific Avgust case, it's definitely a formal friend or Windsong (Vila doesn't cast any attack incantation so I'm not counting her) who takes his place and also helps the team carry him. If Vila is in the team, she has a harder time staying put so she applies health incantations almost immediately so Avgust can rush to Tooth Fairy (or in a more serious case, Laplace) with less pain. If she's not, you bet your life she's carrying that kid through the halls like a mad woman.

[clementimetodie]

"I'm having a technical issue so I need a new laptop" is such an annoying mentality, please let me troubleshoot your device first

[lungfuls]

Maybe I'm projecting and being hopeful but I mentioned to M that I don't even get to shit by myself in peace lmao and I feel like something clicked for him. Bc I was like hey, at least you get private bathroom breaks at work (noncombative). And since then he's been a lot more acquiescent when I ask if I can nap and stuff

[moe-broey]

I don't think this is Moe's first offense (saying something brazen/flippant) but I do think it's the first time it's called the King a bitch. And it won't be the last! The funniest part of Anna being the one to take charge and chew Moe out is that it gives Moe the opportunity to do The Exact Same Thing to Alfonse one-on-one (you know... to test the waters... to see how he feels about it....). Which it is. Also promptly chastised for.

FAVE PANELS...

[yoonia]

Food for thought.

[reinelefey]

I FINALLY started listening to The Amazing Devil

FIRST OFF.

Inkpot Gods fucking HURTS. 

So does Farewell Wanderlust!!!

THAT BEING SAID.

I have fucking CHILLS. 

Welcome to my latest hyperfixation. This is all I’m gonna be talking about for fucking MONTHS. 

My next Spotify wrapped may as well be written right now, because it’s gonna be this. Maybe a few other things, but it is /GOING/ to be this.