#i'm not sure if this is what you're looking for anon!

[rosyhoneydew]

12 + bucktommy

ooh two for in grief so I'll make this one a little longer :) thank you sei and anon!! <3 also I PINKY PROMISE this has a happy ending, okay? Trust! also very minor emetophobia warning!

12. ...in grief.

It's bad. Buck knows it's bad because Eddie's arms are around him and they're holding him back. His feet keep slipping on the dirt and his hands scramble against Eddie's forearms as he tries to break free.

"You don't wanna see that, man, trust me," Eddie's saying, his voice breaking.

"Fuck you. You got to say goodbye to Shannon," Buck bites back. It's mean, too mean for Eddie, who's just trying to spare him the sight of- of... of what's just beyond the yellow tape.

Eddie doesn't flinch. Just looks at him, thoughtful, drops his eyes to his feet, and lets Buck go. Buck stumbles a bit as he gets his bearings and sprints over to the scene, dodging the others who try weakly to stop him.

Tommy is lying on the ground, awake, barely, and coughing from the dust swirling around him still. A large slab of basalt is covering his body from the top of his thigh to most of his chest and up to his neck.

He can hear paramedics from the 226 talking around him, the words compartment syndrome and infection swirling around somewhere in his brain while he takes it all in. Tommy was just supposed to be out hiking with- with-

"Buck," someone grabs him by the arm, "I'm so sorry, oh my god, I'm so-"

Buck turns to Sal, his face is a grey pallor and his eyelashes are clumped together with tears and dust. In a few days, Buck will go over to Sal and Isabelle's. He'll thank him for calling 911 so quickly, for doing his best to keep Tommy talking and breathing while they waited, but right now he turns away again and makes his way to Tommy, lying down next to him.

"Hey, sweetheart-" Tommy wheezes out, sending him into a coughing fit again and jolting his body where it's crushed under the rock.

"Don't- don't talk," Buck says, breath hitching. "You're gonna be fine, Tommy, okay? You're- you're gonna be okay but you can't talk. I- if you talk then you'll just make it worse, and..." and it's already really bad.

Tommy smiles at him, tears sliding slowly from the corner of his eye. I'm sorry he mouths.

Fuck. Buck breaks down into heaving sobs. He's not- he can't-

No. He'll fix this. It's okay. His hands brush dust away from Tommy's face. He wipes his sleeve over Tommy's eyes, to clear away the tears, and he check's Tommy's pulse in 3 different spots. It's weak in his leg, but it's there.

"Buck..." someone is saying behind him.

"Evan."

Buck lifts his head from Tommy's ankle, lying down close to Tommy's face again.

"I'm right here, I'm right here," Buck says, grabbing Tommy's hand and taking care not to jostle him too much.

I love you Tommy mouths so much.

More tears flow from Buck's eyes. He's a mess of snot and dirt and he can't stop taking these gross gasping breaths instead of just breathing normally; and he thinks he might be on the verge of having a heart attack because his chest has never hurt like this, never felt like this.

"I love you," Buck says for the both of them. He leans in and kisses Tommy on his mouth, crying harder at the way Tommy can't find the energy to kiss back.

"Buckley, we gotta move him," someone says.

"No!" Buck cries, kissing him again and lying over the top of Tommy's chest. Tommy's not looking at him anymore. His eyes are closed and Buck has to fix this.

"Come on, Buck," Hen's voice breaks through the noise of his own sobs, her hands peel him away from Tommy, firm, but with enough give that he knows she's handling him delicately.

"We'll follow you," Eddie says to one of the paramedics not lifting the rock from Tommy's chest.

And then they're ushering Buck into the truck they showed up in, back when they thought this was just another call, a bad one, sure, but not this. He's shivering, shock invading his body like he was the one crushed, suffocating under rock.

"Hen," he mumbles when they're on their way, staying close behind the sirens of the ambulance ahead of them. He's not sure what he means to say.

"I know," she says anyway.

It's hours before anything changes. Tommy goes right into surgery and Sal and Isabelle show up to wait with him, holding his hands each time the doctor comes out to update them. He throws up twice and cries again right into Isabelle's cashmere sweater.

It's around 4 AM that he falls asleep, waiting in the ICU for any updates. It's 6 AM that he's shaken awake by Lucy Donato, smiling like a maniac in his face.

"Wake up, Buckley!" she says. "He's asking for you."

Chills break out over Buck's body and he sprints down the hall nearly running right into a nurse who's headed into Tommy's room with a pack of clear liquid.

She smiles at him, holding the door to the room open for him and then, god, then Buck sees him.

He looks terrible. He's got the darkest circles Buck has ever seen under his eyes, his hair is a mess. He's still covered in scratches and a bit of dirt. He's perfect. He's perfect.

Buck takes a gasping breath and feels relief flood his body.

"Tommy," he sighs, full of love.

[biancadoes1]

hi, i have a small question: do you ever waver in your opinion that nic and luke are a couple at this point? i know you have been very consistent in your replies here and i can't tell you how much i appreciate that you're not easily swayed. it's nice to see that not all og lukola blogs are suddenly flip flopping on them because some people have been really disappointing lately.

but is there ever a small part of you that thinks "what if i got it all wrong and they're not together at all?" or is that not even an option in your opinion?

i'm mainly asking because unlike that one anon i'm not even doubting it at this point. for me they MUST be together because anything else would make no sense at all. but i do have this small fear that in the end something might come out that will indefinitely prove that they are not a couple and then i will probably be shaken to my core because i am SO SURE OF IT.

if it turned out now that we all have been completely wrong, then i would probably completely distance myself from anything fandom related and would question my judgement for weeks to come lmao

There's always that small bit of doubt in the back of my mind and that's natural because we don't have confirmation.

We cannot definitively say that they are together 100% because of that.

Now I will admit I've had my moments where I wasn't sure and thought I read it wrong but they're fleeting and I'm sure most everyone who has a similar stance as me and other strong Lukola blogs and fandom accounts have faced this before.

With so little to go off of and a plethora of things for the other side to attempt to shove in our faces, it can make you question, at some point, if maybe you're wrong. Maybe you made things up in your head. Maybe they aren't together and you've been the crazy one all along.

But I will say all it takes is going back and looking at everything we've gotten since the WT ended. Chaos week, the hands picture for Glamour, the Time magazine marriage quote, Luke's SMA interviews...it knocks you back pretty quick when you realize two people who don't like each other or are dating other people or whom are trying to distance themselves would NEVER say the things that have been said or do the things that have been done.

All that to say is this: it's normal to have that little feeling of doubt even if you're certain they're together. What's different about feeling this way though is that it doesn't last for long and it never leads to a spiral. We get right back on the horse and keep on trotting.

I'm always confident and sure they are together though. I'll die on that hill unless it's confirmed otherwise. Until then, they're enjoying their privacy together and I'm happy for them.

[ozzgin]

Hello everyone, allow me to offer you a (non)alcoholic glass of champagne to celebrate this delightful year spent together. Looking back, my previous New Year's post was dedicated to my 2.000 followers; now it's become a toast towards over 18.000 of you and more:

Thank you to all my followers who've been here throughout my tomfoolery, as well as the ones who joined us recently;

Thank you to all curious visitors who've stepped foot into this silly blog space, your presence was just as welcomed;

Thank you to everyone who interacted with my posts and engaged in conversation, your words were deeply appreciated;

Thank you to all anons and fellow users who made sure my inbox was always full and ever-growing. Jokes aside, I still can't believe what a big, loving family we've built this year.

Thank you to my beloved mutuals for offering such a wide variety of content on my feed. Seriously, you're the only contact I have with the outside Tumblr world;

Thank you to the 100+ members of my Discord Secret Club, who turned a mere idea into a warm, welcoming place. I never expected much, honestly. I'm an introvert and not charismatic by any means. To see so many of you bringing quality dialogue and content was not only a surprise, but an amazing experience. I'm beyond thankful to have met so many talented and entertaining people;

And, of course, I thank you for reading this message! I hope you have an amazing, resourceful, and inspiring new year. May we remain good friends and continue our smutty banter together.

[certifiedsexed]

I'm really sorry if this is off topic, you post a lot about trans stuff and I don't know where else to ask for advice. Ignore this ask if it doesn't fit the blog and have a nice day.

Has anyone here dealt with partners who have switched views from radfem to TERF? For context, I'm a pre-everything trans male and I don't pass at all. I've been dating my girlfriend for a few years now, she's always been supportive, until this year.

Two years ago she adopted radfem views and this summer she began to deadname and misgender me for the first time and hasn't stopped after polite corrections. She keeps saying I'm just confused and other things, you know what I'm talking about if you've ever interacted with a TERF. It happens every day now.

Is this normal and just a bit rude, or something serious? It's exhausting and I don't feel safe with her anymore, but everyone says I'm just overreacting and I don't know how to handle it carefully, since I don't really have any support now.

Is it really selfish to want to be at least called by another (gender neutral in my country) name if you look like a girl?

No apologies needed! I'm happy to help and I appreciate you trusting me to answer. <3

I need you to genuinely listen to me for a second, Anon. I do not say this lightly. The behavior you're experiencing with your girlfriend is abusive. It's not "just a bit rude", it's not safe and its not appropriate.

Everyone who is telling you that you're overreacting are frankly not trustworthy either if they're telling you that your girlfriend refusing to use your name, misgendering you and trying casual attempts at what sounds a lot like conversion therapy bullshit is not an immediate "get away from that person now".

It makes sense you feel unsafe. She's being consistently abusive towards you and you have no support behind you, that's awful. Whether you "look like" a girl or not, you're not a girl and you've said so.

It is not selfish to ask people to respect your gender and pronouns.

I'm not sure how to handle this carefully either, if i'm honest, because I don't know your situation and I don't know what you have access to.

But my primary advice is to find a way out of this relationship and away from your girlfriend, since it sounds like she is the biggest issue here. I'd frankly also advise finding more spaces with openly trans people, even if that's just online, so that you can find more people like you, in situations like you.

I think it'd really help, especially since people in your life don't sound very supportive. I also think looking up information specifically on trans people, dealing with transphobic abuse would be helpful. This is an article, for example, that might be helpful for you to read.

I don't know how helpful this all is but I'm so sorry you're dealing with all that, Anon. I've dealt with [and still deal with] some of what you're talking about and I know that's such a burden. Sending love. ❤

Let me know if you have any other questions. If anyone else has suggestions, feel free to add on. <3

[bigidiotenergytm]

May I ask for more of the Twins?

Idk I just like them and Yes I came back after crying about the Ithaca saga for like days.

(If so, I might just lay on my bed and read or look at the art you might make and maybe yap about a crazy,funny, and actually kinda nice fanfic.)

-That one anon who originally asked for the twins. :)

Super happy to hear you're enjoying the AU, dear anon! Since Sky's on break, I'll be taking over and answering your ask as his second in command :3 I'm not sure what exactly you'd want to know, so I guess I'll give you this instead XD

Meet Aspa: Ody's and Poseidon's child

They're a small, nonbinary devil XD I know what you're probably thinking, but no; Ody wasn't the one who got pregnant this time. It was actually Poseidon. And nope, he didn't get knocked up the traditional way. Aspa was the product of blood mixing (during six hundred strike, some of Ody's blood seeped into Poseidon's open wounds, mixed with his ichor and ended up getting him pregnant). They're super attached to Odysseus and a literal angel around him. Poseidon, however, gets the feral side. He's honestly just their stress ball that they bite and chew on. Their design was inspired by beta fish and catfish :333 If you have any specific questions about the twins, feel free to ask either me ( @shinedoitsulikeabright ) or @axt-bs since we worked on it together :3 If you'd like to know more about Aspa, you can either ask here or you could ask me (at least while Sky's on hiatus).

[jazeswhbhaven]

Do you still accept requests?? If so, is it alright if I ask for a headcanon about how the kings + lucifer and bael about how they feel towards the fact that MC excels very well in leadership and is actually capable of leading (like a group or whatever), but they refuse to do so because they don't trust their abilities and much prefers to be a follower instead of a leader? I don't know if that makes sense..🥹

Ty so much for waiting anon (if you're still here?) I started looking back at old requests and I'm just like YEAH dunno why I waited so long on this omg. Please accept my thoughts on this MC!

Bael: He's seen MC's potential when they stepped in to help him out when Beelzebub decided to cause a ruckus in Abyssos and ditch yet again. Making sure to clean up the trouble, ease the devils, Bael was impressed and wanted MC to be a permanent resident in order to keeps things going well. However, when figuring out that MC would rather be in the shadows instead of the front lines, he understood completely. Though he wouldn't mind having a break now and then, it was a lot to ask that of MC. He still makes it a point to compliment their leadership skills when it's due and remind them often that they do have the potential.

Satan: He loves a good leader that reflects his own qualities. That's why he hypes up MC all the time and even gives them free reign to order around his military and nobles just to see how they act under the pressure. Too bad MC would rather be fine as a supporter, just following Satan's command when it comes to battles or how to conduct certain practices. Satan understands, but he's still randomly throwing MC into the leadership role now and then as a surprise.

Mammon: His master is the best at everything, so it's no surprise that they would be this good with leadership roles. I mean, they even got Bimet to listen to them and that's difficult for anyone who isn't Mammon to do. But, he can see without having to ask that MC would rather be more of a support person than a leader. Mammon still compliments them and while he may have a strange way of doing it...and without a filter...his heart is in the right place.

Beelzebub: Yeah, uh good luck with trying to convince Beel that MC would rather not be the leader of his country alongside Bael. He makes it a joke each time that MC should work part-time as the ruler of Abyssos and that he can make it to where MC kinda looks similar to him too. Needless to say, MC wasn't having it. But it's not like Beel is gonna remember, but he treats it like a fun joke each time. The only place where MC isn't holding up the fort...is the bedroom.

Leviathan: He gets frustrated easily when MC doubts themselves. He'd even be inclined to agree, that they don't have what it takes. But he doesn't truly think that about MC, in fact he hopes someday that they can get out of their head and be more of a leader and showcase those abilities to the fullest. He encourages them to spend more time with him, and perhaps he can influence that to a certain extent. Though...sometimes he's fine with MC being a subordinate under him. To think if they surpassed him...

Lucifer: Naturally, he doesn't want MC to do anything they aren't comfortable with so he understands when they would rather be on the support team helping out the healers and following orders. He knows what it's like being a leader in both Heaven and in Paradise Lost and it can get quite exhausting. He supports MC in any way possible, and compliments them when they do well and want affirmation.

Belphegor: Well, since this king is asleep majority of the time and leaves things up to his right hand noble, Beleth there's really not much to discuss about MC not being a leader. He can't really be bothered with it, so in short MC just supports Beleth and helps him with whatever he needs. They thought they'd get more relief with how things are run in Nifelheim but turns out it's just because it's Beleth and Belphie's teamwork that gets things done. So much for that!

Asmodeus: A leader? Well he thinks that mindset is adorable. He likes watching MC use their potential to the fullest, but in actuality he's just getting off mentally to their determination. When they aren't feeling like their skills are the best, he's right there to say he's got it, and boy does he. Asmo doesn't mind being the leader in just about everything. MC won't have to worry for a thing, the battles lasting mere seconds when it comes to having Asmo around. His favorite human just has to listen to him and the rest will follow. Maybe...MC should consider being a leader sometimes to resist his charms? Maybe...

[brotherwtf]

pls pls pls more fantasy au!

why of course anon, have some calm and casual fantasy clegan

----

"Tell me about yourself, darling," John whispers, tracing his fingertips up Gale's arm, curling his hand to brush his knuckles on Gale's shoulder.

Gale smiles a little lazily, turning to face John, the light from the fire bouncing off of his golden curls.

"You're a telepath, you can find out whatever you want if you just look," Gale says, voice a little grumbly from sleep.

John shrugs and keeps his knuckles moving up and down Gale's arm.

"I like hearing you talk, besides, it's boring just reading your thoughts to get all of your deepest, darkest, secrets," John says.

Gale smiles at him again, one of his hands coming up to rest on John's chest, tapping a lone finger on the firm muscle there.

"My mama was an elf, got knocked up by some ranger that was passing through, whom she fell in love with foolishly. He left, of course, left to do whatever rangers do, and left my mama with a child she wasn't sure she could bear. The pregnancy made her horribly sick, my father's mortal blood tainting her immortal, and she was terribly weak when she gave birth to me. She knew I was only half elf, but she gave me an elven name when she saw me, Kess,"

"The wind, much like your human name, Gale, just as strong and steadfast as your namesake," John whispers and Gale nods, hand creeping up to curl into John's hair.

"She raised me as best as she could in the elven forests, taught me to fight, to hunt, and to kill, taught me how to be an elf even as he strength was weakening,

"She finally died when I was seventeen, her body poisoned by my father's mortal blood, and at that point I had no idea what I was going to do without her. But the elves who befriended my mother did not show the same kindness to me. I once had the long and silken hair known to an elf, and they sheared it, cut it at the base with a sword and spat in my face, told me I was no elf, I was dirtied by human blood and could not stay there. So I ran, I didn't know what else to do," Gale says, hand clenching in John's hair as he squeezes his eyes shut.

John brings his hand up and cups Gale's cheek, swiping his thumb across his cheekbone.

"I turned to violence because there was nothing else I could do. I was lost, my people had abandoned me and I was an orphan. The only person to have ever shown me true kindness was you, John," Gale whispers, voice barely above a breath.

John can't help the smile that breaks across his face upon hearing the words. Gale, his sweet and beautiful Gale, who deserved every bit of kindness in the world. And John was going to be the one to give it to him. He leans forward and catches Gale's mouth in a kiss, a nice and slow one that causes his lips to recoil wetly back into place when he pulls away. Gale smiles lazily at him again, shuffling closer so he can tuck himself against John's chest.

"I'm glad I found you, Gale. God knows what I would have done without you," John confesses, and it feels oddly like a weight off of his shoulders, like something he needed to say to solidify whatever he had with Gale.

Gale tilts his head to catch John's lips in another kiss.

"I would have died in that cell a long time ago if it wasn't for you," Gale whispers, and tucks himself back into John's neck.

The fire slowly dies out as the night goes on, but John finds he doesn't need it's warmth when he has Gale in his arms.

[newsom]

hiiii this is the anon from a million years ago saying that I love darklands sm as one of very few convincingly mature marauders fics <3 can’t believe it’s over!! also totally makes sense that silence kit is inspo for it - wondering if you have recs for any other fics like these??? tyyyyyyy💜🙂‍↕️🙏💕

hi thank you and sure! tbh i don't read very much fic these days but here are some old standby faves that have in some way or another informed my style and which i think would fit what you're looking for:

along with silence kit, abacomancy by fluorescentgrey

that the science of cartography is limited by rave

watching stars collide by hydianway

maybe it's worth it by lurikko

leave the rough road by blanketed_in_stars

adagio by lupinely

frog and toad aren't friends anymore by swordfishtrombones @amanitaphalloides

anything by sqvalors @valjestering, but especially for the hunger, the sorry about the blood in your mouth series, and the i'm bleeding i'm not just making conversation series

[bebewrites]

helloo! could you please make a list of wip pages that are suitable for worldbuilding fics with alot of visuals?? (BTW YOUR PAGES ARE GOREGEOUS🥺💓)

hi! so right off the bat, you can add additional images to most wip pages! for example, on most of mine, in any section where you're adding text, you can add images in the html. just use <img src=""/> and put your image url between the quotation marks. and paste that where you want your image to go. you may need to adjust the size of the image you're using, but that's one way to do it!

and here are some thememakers with page codes that sound like what you're looking for!

@pirateskinned - tons of rp pages that could easily be used for fics and worldbuilding

@glenthemes - has a bunch of about pages and character pages that could be used for worldbuilding

@seyche - "tansy" page specifically is a good one for projects and fics

that's all i've got off the top of my head at the moment, but anyone else pls feel free to add on!

[fbfh]

omg could you do leo valdez with ocd reader 🥺 ... i love how you write him smmmm!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

OF COURSE BABES. first of all for anyone who doesn't know there are a lot of different types of OCD, and no matter what type or types you have, you could not find someone more supportive than Leo motherfucking Valdez. OCD is hard to have and hard to treat and guess what???? he's gonna learn everything he can about it and work with you to figure out how to help you when things are bad and good and all the little uppy downy in between parts.

adding a read more so this doesn't trigger anyone (cw: mentions of contamination, checking, vague mentions of intrusive thoughts, religious ruminations and magical thinking, please do not engage with this post if it could trigger you!!! I love yall <3)

if you have the contamination kind and you're always stuck feeling like nothing's clean enough, Leo understands. He'll take over for you, he'll cast eyes over things and remind you that you did what you're supposed to do and help distract you with something else. He knows to check dates on the groceries he buys you, knows how to help you feel better without accidentally enabling your compulsions.

if you have checking compulsions like relocking doors and making sure the stove is off and appliances are unplugged, he starts doing the closing up routine at night for you. you have a house rule that you're only allowed to check things two times, then Leo will check once for you if you need him to, then he helps you move onto something else. If you're worried that the stove is on and it's going to burn down the house, he never fails to make you laugh by promising to be the one to deal with all the insurance guys.

"Worst case scenario? We pull off the greatest insurance scam in history and retire early to the Swiss alps."

he says it so casually that it never fails to make you laugh, it takes the sting and the stress from your thoughts a little.

if religious ruminations or magical thinking are more your thing, Leo actually knows exactly what to do about that. he pulls out a golden drachma and cuddles with you while he fidgets with it.

"I can get a direct line to any god. If one of them starts beefing with you, I will personally handle it." he kisses you. he mumbles against your lips, and he smiles when he gets you to smile. "I'll also remove every screw, nut, bolt, and support beam in their entire palace and turn everything into breakaway prop furniture."

when your intrusive thoughts get bad he holds your shaky hands and promises that he won't ever let you do anything that could hurt you or someone else, he goes through your affirmations and grounding exercises with you, he reminds you that thought crimes are not crimes.

no matter what your symptoms are or how bad they get, Leo's love for you and deep knowledge that you are an amazing, wonderful, incredible person never wavers. he loves you. he loves being with you, he loves helping you, he loves being the one to care for you. Leo loves knowing that he's able to support you, to ease your burden and make sure you don't feel like you're alone. and you're never going to be alone, because nothing could ever scare Leo away from you. he just loves you too much.

[freckliedan]

I’ve seen a few people in recent times being all like “don’t assume dnp to be anything but best friends unless they say it outright they’re a couple you’re making them uncomfortable” or whatever and I can’t help but think… switch out one of them for a girl. If this were a het pair we were looking at I bet these people wouldn’t hesitate to think differently.

Take all the 2009 tweets/dailybooths, the vday vid, the living together for years, going on vacations together, having all the traditions & jokes they have. All the times Dan goes to see Phil’s family. The fact they’ve never been around another human enough for anyone to assume they have a different partner (who they’d never have time for anyway when dnp literally make a big deal of how much time they spend together) Dan literally confirming their relationship was more than romantic (at least at some point) in his coming out video. The double dates they go on with other confirmed couples. How casually they’re talked about as a pair by other people/YouTubers. Slip ups confirming ‘the bed’ ‘the bedroom’ ‘don’t worry guys only I saw Phil’s butt in the mirror not the people on my zoom call” it being known they stayed in a place with 2 bedrooms with another couple in Australia. Posing for naked photos together. One being a literal biological uncle and the other one literally being referred to as a uncle too by the baby’s mother.

The genuine love and affection they have for each other. The way they can’t shut up about the other. Being each others biggest fans. The way they have talked hypothetically about getting a pet together (and had a bloody fish) and the main kicker…. Literally been thinking and designing a FOREVER HOME together since 2017 and now live in it. Together. 😱

If this was a girl & boy no one would think different but bc it’s 2 men people be like… we’ll actually they never said it explicitly so blah blah blah. What a weird heteronormative world some still live in

genuinely yeah. a huge part of it is just straight up homophobia, but i think the average person who doesn't really pay attention to them/is completely unfamiliar with them DOES actually look at all that and take away the idea that they're a couple at this point in time.

i think an aspect of it with people who are the most vehemently "they're just friends" is like. a lot of the time that's coming from people who did follow them at some point in time, who were involved with the fandom—and who now are acting from a place of shame and unfettered cringe over their past actions & making that everyone else's problem.

sometimes it is really funny to me when people Just Don't Get It though like... dan and phil aren't FOR them. it's not about people who don't get it and that's not the audience dan and phil are prioritizing. and i'm utterly fucking delighted for them that they've pulled off this level of ambiguity for so long even after coming out.

[galaxywhump]

if wren started begging for something during a torture session (a small break bc he feels like he's gonna be sick, or some water) would daniel grant that to him? or would it be situationally dependent?

I know you were probably expecting a straightforward answer, but your ask made a WIP happen, so here it is.

[SV-240 masterlist]

contents: forced relationship whump, slavery whump, creepy/intimate whumper, defiant whumpee, illness, non-graphic emeto, torture, knives, stress position, blindfold, creepy comfort.

~~~

Wren woke up feeling terrible.

It’s nothing out of the ordinary for him, but that morning he felt terrible in a different way. He felt ill; weak and slightly dizzy, shivering despite it not being cold in the house. He didn’t tell Daniel, even though he wanted nothing more than to be given medication, hot tea, and some peace and quiet. No, telling Daniel would also mean him being overly caring and doting, which was the last thing Wren wanted to deal with.

So he didn’t say anything, and then he learned that Daniel was in the mood for some handiwork with his favorite knife.

Shit.

He still didn’t say a word when Daniel closed handcuffs on his wrists and attached them to a chain connected to a hook in the ceiling, forcing him to keep his arms outstretched and stand on his tiptoes. He didn’t say a word when Daniel put a blindfold on his eyes and earplugs in his ears. He just shuddered and gritted his teeth when the knife pierced his arm and was dragged downwards.

Just get through this, he thinks to himself while Daniel makes small, precise cuts around his shoulder blades in a pattern that only makes sense to him and his artistic vision. It’s not the first time.

But it’s the first time when he feels this awful during torture, and the position he’s in doesn’t help. His body is under so much strain, stretched out uncomfortably, he can barely stay upright, his arms hurt, his head hurts, everything hurts, and Daniel’s only adding more pain. He still feels dizzy despite the darkness - or maybe because of it - his face is covered in cold sweat, he starts feeling slightly nauseous. The blindfold is soaked with tears of frustration, he can hear his heartbeat way too clearly, it’s the only sound he hears, he feels horrible, he wants out, he wants this to end, he can’t handle this after all, but that means…

“Stop,” he mumbles weakly, shaking his head and whining when the pain from the cuts seems to intensify now that he’s not fully preoccupied with his illness. Talking with the earplugs in is an unpleasant, almost surreal experience, and he can only hope he’s actually saying something, that his voice isn't too weak. "Please stop."

But this is Daniel, so Wren can imagine him laughing at his begging, making a stupid comment promising that this will be over soon, sweetheart, but this isn't about that. He whimpers when the knife cuts into his back again.

"I'm serious, stop, I-I think I'm gonna be sick, I just need a break."

The knife disappears, and Wren swallows desperately, struggling to take a deep breath.

He flinches when he feels Daniel grip his arm - thankfully an undamaged part of it - and a moment later his wrists are released. Daniel catches him before he can collapse, unable to stay upright after the punishing position.

The earplugs are removed, and the blindfold follows. Wren winces and blinks, and when his eyes get used to something other than darkness, he sees Daniel's face, with worry written all over it.

"Are you still feeling sick?" he asks, and Wren nods.

Daniel wraps Wren's arm around himself to support him and leads him to the bathroom, where the nausea gets overwhelming. Daniel holds his hair back for him, not saying a word for now.

Wren closes his eyes, exhausted, and fuck does everything hurt, but mostly his arms and back now that he's moving again. He's trembling, getting up feels like an impossible task, and he's still crying, from pain and from his awful state, and he's not even mad at himself for it.

"Better now?"

"I think so," he mutters. Daniel lets go of his hair.

"I'll get you some water."

Wren nods, keeping his eyes closed, not daring to move an inch for fear of his body igniting with pain again and the room spinning.

Anxiety creeps up on him; nothing like this has ever happened before, and he doesn’t know what to expect from Daniel.

He comes back and hands Wren a glass of water, then sits down next to him, looking at him with a puzzled expression.

"What happened?" he asks.

"I think I'm sick." Wren stares down at the water, every breath causing his fresh wounds to shift and hurt even more. "I feel like shit, and… you just saw for yourself, I guess." He sighs. “So just get the session over with before it gets worse.”

Daniel firmly shakes his head, frowning.

“No. You need to rest. I’ll take care of your wounds and then you can lie down.” He pets Wren’s hair. “We can continue some other time.”

Wren huffs, shaking his head in disbelief.

“You do realize how fucked up that sounds, right?”

Daniel just chuckles in response. He does know. It changes nothing.

The knife will return in a few days, and yet Wren can’t help but be relieved as Daniel cleans and dresses his wounds, then gives him a shirt and carries him to the living room.

“I can carry you to the bedroom, if you’d like. Unless you prefer the couch.”

“Couch,” Wren mutters. The bed is more comfortable and the bedroom would offer more peace and quiet, provided Daniel leaves him alone, but he wants to stay out of there as much as he can, and the couch is too small for Daniel to lie down next to him.

As much as he hates the couch, he can’t deny that it’s comfortable, and in his exhaustion he practically melts into it. Daniel even brings him a blanket, which Wren curls up under, pulling it up to his neck.

“I’ll bring you some pills,” Daniel says, pressing his palm to Wren’s forehead; he clicks his tongue when he confirms that it’s unnaturally warm, and brushes Wren’s hair away from his face, making him wince. “Do you need anything else, sweetheart?”

“Rest,” Wren sighs, struggling to keep his eyes open. Now that he’s stopped ignoring it, his illness has decided to hit him with everything it’s got.

“Okay. I’ll fetch the pills and you can sleep after you’ve taken them, alright? Try to stay awake.”

“Mhm.”

Daniel leaves, and Wren wraps the blanket tighter around himself, blinking slowly, trying to fight his exhaustion off for a bit longer. Daniel is just as doting as he’d feared he would be, but… aside from his usual sweethearting it feels good to be taken care of, and to be listened to. The wounds still sting, a reminder of the torture he’d gone through and will go through again soon, but he can’t bring himself to care. He waits for his captor and torturer to come back with the medicine, and he has to remind himself not to thank him for this bare minimum of kindness, more than most of what he’s gotten throughout his life.

He wishes it wasn’t like this, moments of kindness and loving care juxtaposed with pain and tears and coercion; he knows how much Daniel enjoys doing this, being the sole source of both suffering and comfort.

He’s aware of so many mechanisms of his captivity, yet he’s powerless to fight them, forced to accept them, and all he can hope for is that all these processes won’t shape him into something else, whatever Daniel, whose smile is unnervingly genuine and fond when he enters the living room, wants him to be.

“Sleep well, sweetheart," Daniel says softly once Wren's washed the pills down with water. "I hope you’ll feel better when you wake up.”

“So you can torture me more?” Wren mutters, closing his eyes. 

Daniel’s lighthearted laughter keeps ringing in his ears long after he's fallen asleep.

~~~

taglist:��@faewhump @inky-whump @whole-and-apart-and-between @whatwasmyprevioususername @procrastinatingsab @funky-little-glitter-bomb @goneuntil @redstainedsocks @luminouswhump @lonesome--hunter @as-a-matter-of-whump @renkocchi @whump-only @muddy-swamp-bitch @girlwithacoolcat @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @sophierose002 @whump-headspace @to-whump-or-not-to-whump @kixngiggles @ohwhumpydays @whumpvp @wibbly-wobbly-whump @stab-the-son-of-a @his-unspoken-words @pumpkin-spice-whump @onlyhappywhenitpains @suspicious-whumping-egg @morning-star-whump @burtlederp @there-will-always-be-blood

[bumblingbabooshka]

I was curious so I went to your Voyager fics on ao3 and filtered out Tuvok's character tag. Three remained, one of them still centered around him without him appearing (the one about his family coping with his disappearance) and another still mentioned him by name in the text. Twice.

None of this is meant as criticism btw, people obsessed with one particular character are literally the backbone of fandom and I genuinely love this for you. Strongest soldier in the Tuvok army. And you're impeccable at it! Love you

I AM. A TUVOK GIRLIE. TO THE BONE!!!!!!!!!!! <- Cheering I would never take this as a criticism, please don't worry - I love him!

[theokusgallery]

I see it now! I was literally reading and listening about their relationship in your podcast! i really thought that Statice and Nick DESPISE eachother. This AU is interesting, I love it vry vry much. Im not fond of it at first because I can't really Imagine Basil. Basil doing all of that stuff. because he's my favorite character(and I can't really see him being like that). But I eventually learnt to separate them and sees Nick as his own character. Like an actual oc(Still sees him a little bit as Basil if you understand what I mean)( can't wait when Sunny's other friend gets revealed or maybe the parents. *Maybe* they're not that important to the story but the CURIOSITY IS TOO STRONG AND SORRY FOR YAPPING HSJSKAK IT MUST BE TIRING TO ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS I WON'T DO THAT AGAIN)(Also excuse my grammar also, english is not my first language 😣)

-Anon from the previous previous post.

(the aura I felt after asking that is unimaginable. I used to be so shy to ask anything on people's blog so Im a *bit* proud of my confidence!)

Oh I see !!

Yeah Nick is... more or less an OC, he's got very little to do with Basil now. I refuse to cut of all ties to OMORI/Basil because it's very important to his origins and taking that from him would be taking out a lot of how I personally see him, but, well... He wasn't exactly based off of normal in-game Basil, either, so it makes sense that he's very different. He looks different, acts different, has a different family, age, personality, story, nationality even, different interests... He's like, 70% OC and 30% OMORI AU. Basil is also my favorite character, and that's not how I see him at all either.

I understand why you thought Statice and Nick hated each other — to be fair, there aren't a lot of people who don't hate Nick, lol. Being around him and knowing why he is the way he is makes it easier to love him, though.

[johaerys-writes]

Have you ever read a fic/headcanon post you liked so much that it influenced your characterization of Patrochilles?

Aah this is such a tough question!! Especially since I've been writing them for so long, and I'm constantly either thinking about them, reading about them, talking about them, looking at art/fic/meta, and like generally being inundated by Patrochilles LOL so it's really hard to know what specific things have influenced me and how much of those characterisations/headcanons are my own.

Even though I love reading fic and I enjoy the occasional meta/headcanon post I see, I can say with a degree of certainty that a lot of how I understand Patrochilles has come either from analysing canon or sort of reading analyses on the Iliad, as well as other ancient works he appears in. Like this is where I draw my inspiration from, mostly. There's a wealth of resources and there are many different works where Achilles appears in and it's fun to sort of pick and choose different elements. The fragments of ancient greek tragedies or the entire tragedies we have where he appears are sometimes brief but they are very interesting distillations of his character and offer unique insights into how he was perceived at the time, and that has really influenced the way I write him.

I am also really inspired by all the gorgeous art I see, this one for example lives rent free in my brain and I feel like it has played a role in how I write young Achilles in general (he's such a silly menace!!) Another one I really love is this one, I think it really cemented the tall and gangly teenage Pat look in my head 🥹

These are only a couple of examples I could think of, but there are many many more that might lurk in the recesses of my brain but I just can't remember them now 😅

[die-tenebris]

FASCINATING.

1. Did I even reblog anything?

2. Want citations for what ways specifically which trans men are awful

3. Marginalized people need to earn support and community? Really? Not a valid or addressable point.

Imagine if this said trans women instead of men. Do me a favor and read it that way real quick and let's take notice of how that might change how one feels about these sentences.