#i'm not sticking a mental illness onto him because like

[calronhunt]

Oc question! What was Condor's childhood like? Or if that's a spoiler, how does he feel about his scars?

not spoilers! Condor grew up in a totally normal family, with his mom, his dad, and his two sisters. They lived out in the woods on their own, outside of a colony. Condor has always had a crazy high prey drive. like. a REALLY high prey drive. anything smaller than him he wants to catch and kill and such. This at first was great because he was a great hunter for his family and they praised him all the time for how much food he brought in. Now, condor isn't. the smartest guy. I hope i've gotten that across. Awful stats in both Wisdom and Intelligence.

Hunting prey was fun but it wasn't all that exciting after a while. So eventually he started hunting other cats! He kept it a secret from his family, just a side condor funtime, until his sister found him killing a cat, so he killed her! He couldn't stand the idea of the rest of his family hating him for the rest of their lives, so he killed them too! They can't hate him or be afraid of him if they're dead! Condor's scars from his ear, his lip and his front leg are from the tussle.

That whole thing did deeply traumatize Condor, but it also started Condor's extreme cheery nature. He was always a bit jolly and such, but it ramped up really bad after that. Without the worry of his family not liking what he was doing, he was able to go full hog on anything he wanted to do. You can be happy doing anything when you don't have to worry about the disgust and fear in your mother's eyes as you tear someone to shreds.

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part nineteen

summary: you showed him colours he knows he can't see with anyone else.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.3k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: i'm sorry it took me so long to post this omg i am behind on writing bc i'm so sick but i'm also trying to get ahead on requiem BUT-

Important Announcement!!:

cold nights will officially have a season 3! i wasn't sure but i had a good idea for what the epilogue would be and then i realized it would be so much better as another fully developed idea. so, that will be coming soon!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

Coryo smiles as you run up ahead of him, picking up his pace slightly and dropping his bag next to yours.

Some of the others are already stripped down to their bathing suits and running down the dock. It is beautiful here, not that he ever doubted you.

He watches as you peel off your dress, another short one similar to the one you had worn for most of the time he'd known you. This one wasn't sewn in at the middle, so you can slip it quickly over your head. Your bathing suit must have been homemade, too, and it allowed him to see how the bruises and scratches on your back were all but healed while you toss your dress to the ground. He notices quickly that it was exactly the same as Lucy Gray's, maybe your mother had made you matching ones. That's so sweet.

Your skin looked so beautifully soft- just like it should have the first time he saw it, spare for the scars on your calf and your arm, it was just what he imagined.

You kick your shoes off, and the wood of the dock is hot against your bare feet as you run down to the end, diving head-first off to the side to avoid jumping right onto any of your friends.

It seemed to Coryo that you weren't afraid anymore as you briefly looked back at him while you were running. The excited scream you let out when you lept from the dock made his heart flutter. This is exactly what he had wanted, from the very beginning.

When Coryo jumps in behind you, you can hear his shout and feel the water shift around you as his body breaks the surface. You turn under the water, its clarity allowing you to see where everyone is. You loved this. The memories of this lake kept you safe, almost. You can hear muffled laughter above the water, deciding to take your time before coming up for air. You didn't need it just yet.

You swim away from everyone deep under the surface, scanning the lake floor for anything interesting. Really, it was just sticks and rocks and mud, but one day you may find something else exciting, but not today.

"Where is she going?" Coryo comments, watching your body as you kick away deeper under the water.

"Wherever she wants." Lennox answers plainly, treading water as he stares at him.

"She's looking for secrets." Maude Ivory giggles, splashing him in the face. At least she gave him somewhat of an answer.

He quickly lifts an arm to block the wave, but it fails miserably. "What kind of secrets will she find at the bottom of the lake?" He coughs out, wiping the water from his eyes.

"Once we found a watch." Lucy Gray shrugs, looking from him to you. "Which is odd because we didn't know anyone else knew about this place. The secrets are what happens when we aren't here."

You hardly noticed the lack of oxygen until it almost felt too late, quickly swimming up and pushing your hair out of your face so you don't inhale it by mistake.

"Anything good today?" Lucy Gray shouts over to you as soon as she's noticed you've come up.

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so!" You pant, pushing yourself through the water back toward her.

"So, that's a no?" Sejanus asks and you laugh, shaking your head.

"Just rocks and sticks." You explain, joining them again and bumping shoulders with Lucy Gray. "Some weeds, if that's your fancy."

"Oh, yes, that's right up my alley." Sejanus chuckles, cupping his hands to block out the glare of the sun as he looks down into the water anyway.

"I've never been to a lake before," Coryo says, breathing heavily as the waves from the kids splashing keep coming up too close to his face.

"What? Really?" Lucy Gray and Sejanus ask in unison, and you smile at him.

He nods, eyes locking with yours. You feel the need to say something. "Is it everything you dreamt of?" You ask.

"Just about." He grins.

"Oh? What's missing?" You giggle.

Oh, only being able to hold you without retraumatizing you.

"It's not that anything is missing," He comes up with as an excuse. "There's just more birds than I expected."

"Oh, yeah. They like it out here." You hum, looking up at the trees while Lucy Gray whistles out a tune for them to mimic. You smile. "Why, you don't like birds either?"

"Never been the biggest fan, no." He chuckles.

The birds echo her song back to you repeatedly. Coryo turns around to watch as if there was anything to see besides these black birds flitting around the trees and above the cabin. "What kind of birds are they?" He asks. "I've never seen that before."

"We call 'em Mockingjays." Lucy Gray tells him.

"'Cause they'll mock ya if you mess up the song!" Clerk Carmine jumps in, climbing onto Lucy Gray's back under the water.

"Oh, I wouldn't know." Your friend teases him, gripping tight onto the boy's legs as he starts to shout. He knows what's about to happen, and clearly you do too as Coryo watches you and your brother quickly swim out of their reach and closer to him.

You laugh, watching as Lucy Gray takes a big dramatic breath in and sinks under the surface of the water, pulling CC down with her as he screams and splashes.

The sun dried you quickly after you decided you had had enough of the water, climbing back out onto the dock and deciding to just lay your blanket there to dry off on while you took the book and snacks from your bag.

Coryo had been sitting with Lucy Gray and Sejanus, but they were just talking to each other more than him. Not that he could have paid much attention. He was just watching you.

"Can I go talk to her?" He asks with little regard for the conversation that he was interrupting.

They both look over at him. "I mean, you could try. Would that be okay?" Sejanus answers, looking to Lucy Gray for confirmation.

"No. Let her have her peace and quiet." Lennox interrupts as he walks back up in front of them, pulling his shirt back onto his now fully dried skin.

Lucy Gray sighs."Just... Don't be stupid." She advises Coryo, nodding him on. "Len, we'll be right here."

Your brother shakes his head slightly, glaring between the three of them with nothing short of adamant disapproval.

Coryo nods slightly, taking the preferable answer by getting up and heading back down onto the dock.

Lennox looks back over his shoulder to where he just was with Maude Ivory looking for katniss, before taking Coryo's spot on the deck.

"Did she not tell you anything about him?" Lennox mumbles to Lucy Gray, eyes locked on his sister and her 'friend' as he stands over her. "No, she must have- because you were at The Hob last week. You saw it."

"I saw a girl with a lot of unresolved trauma have an episode." Lucy Gray explains, watching Lennox take Coryo's spot next to her. "He made a mistake, but he wouldn't ever hurt her."

Your brother opens his mouth to argue, but Sejanus interrupts. "I know it isn't my place, but Lucy Gray is right. He would sooner die than hurt her."

"Okay, well, explain how he's sitting right next to her when he's already hurt her so bad she may never recover!" Lennox whispers, gesturing to the dock as if they couldn't already see you there.

"I'm not defending anything he's done. That's not what I meant." Sejanus explains. "I just mean he would never do it on purpose."

"Accidents are clearly bad enough."

"Len, he just wants to make amends now." Lucy Gray insists. "And she wants that. I know she does, she's really trying."

"Listen, if it helps..." Sejanus starts, looking back out at you and Coryo on the dock. He can tell how nervous his friend is, watching you intently as he picks at the wood finish beneath him and listening to you talk. "He really loves her. I know it's not my place to tell you that, but it was bad when she was gone. He hardly spoke a word to anyone, he wouldn't put her book down- it was really hard on him. We weren't sure if she had been executed for cheating, and it was killing him to be left in the dark."

"That's not love, that's guilt." Lennox mutters, watching you closely.

"What's the difference between love and guilt?" Lucy Gray asks him rhetorically. "He wouldn't feel guilty if he didn't care."

"The difference is he wouldn't have come here and made the same mistake again."

Lucy Gray bites into her lip, slightly shaking her head. That was an honestly good point.

"I was in the arena, too. I saw what he did." Sejanus says after a moment. "He saved my life, it was my fault. It was shocking... you know, the overkill, but I can't say for certain I wouldn't have done the same thing. We were both pumped so full of adrenaline that I truly believe that's what it was." He explains. "I mean, I was behind him, so I don't know what she saw- but it looked like adrenaline to me."

"How do you think she felt?" Lennox asks, eyes wide. "She was in there for three days! You and him were there for what, ten minutes?"

"Wait..." Lucy Gray backpedals, looking at Sejanus. "Sejanus, what do you mean you thought he was executed for cheating? Like, in the games?"

Sejanus swallows, nodding. He looks over at you but quickly looks away. "Yeah, uh... Coryo told me that she used rat poison to kill two of the others. And he did something to keep the snakes from biting her, but I don't think he was caught for that."

Your brother and best friend look at each other like they'd just seen a ghost before their eyes simultaneously track to you. You were laughing.

"She didn't... She didn't tell me that." Lucy Gray says quietly. "Did you know, Len?"

"No."

"That doesn't surprise me." Sejanus shrugs and they both look at him, shocked and confused. "Well, she doesn't know either. I don't think, definitely not about the snakes, but she told the Dean it was salt. That I gave her." He laughs slightly at the end, but they don't find it funny. "By the time she left, she was fully delusional about it. She knew what it was, Coryo gave it to her to protect herself because he needed her to win. She was really upset by the insinuation that it, in fact, was not salt."

Lucy Gray and Lennox look at each other again, unsure what to say. It must have been worse than they thought. Regardless, they knew it must be eating you alive.

"Can I join you?" You hear Coryo's voice above you after about ten minutes of listening to the mockingjays sing Lucy Gray's song back to her as she sat on the porch of the cabin. The sun was so warm on your skin that you could have fallen asleep here if you weren't reading your book.

You squint against the sun as you look up at him. "Yes, you may." You agree, and you feel him sitting down next to you as the wood creaks below him.

You find yourself holding your breath, even as you return to your book to try and remain relaxed.

He's not going to hurt you.

"What are you reading?" He asks after a moment, thinking your arms must be asleep for using them to hold the book and support your weight for so long.

"It's called 'Much Ado About Nothing'." You answer. "Another Shakespeare piece."

"Do you like it?" He asks, lifting his leg to rest his elbow on his knee while you sit up, crossing your legs and letting the book fall into your lap.

"I do." You smile down at the page. It is much more lighthearted than Romeo and Juliet, as much as you would have loved to come home and drown yourself in your favourite book- the boy next to you unintentionally made it impossible. God, you were so embarrassed by the letter you wrote to him. Your cheeks flush just think about it. All you did by surviving was make everything weird.

"Another tragedy?" He inquires, attempting to read some of the words on the page as it's opened on your lap.

"No." You chuckle, shaking your head. "It's a romantic comedy, actually."

"Oh, wow. You changed it up?" He asks, only somewhat shocked. It would only make sense that you couldn't handle much more tragedy since you've been home.

"I did." You smile. "It's quite funny."

"Will you read me your favourite part?" He suggests, watching your eyes as they light up with excitement from the request.

"Okay, so..." You quickly flip back through the pages and into the first act, scanning for the lines you're looking for. "Okay. Here." You pretend to clear your throat.

"In our last conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and now is the whole man governed with one: so that if he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him bear it for a difference between himself and his horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left, to be known a reasonable creature." You recite, dragging your finger along the page so he can track what you are reading. You remembered it, but it might have been easier for him to follow that way.

Coryo watched you the whole time, and by the end, you were a giggling mess. You thought it was absolutely hilarious, and he smiles at that.

"What does that mean?" He chuckles.

"So," You laugh, a hand pressed to your chest. "Basically, she's talking about how she was arguing with Benedick and won. The punchline is that she let him keep one of his wits, because if she didn't no one would be able to tell him from his horse."

Coryo laughs at that, shaking his head. "That is good." He agrees.

"Isn't it?" You smile. "It's a welcome change of pace."

"Yeah, Romeo and Juliet was... yikes." He says, ticking his jaw and peeling up some of the wood from the dock between you.

"You read it?" You ask quietly, eyes widening as you look over at him. It shouldn't shock you, he told you he would, and that he even looked forward to it. "What did you think?"

"Of course I did," Coryo nods. "I really enjoyed it."

"It doesn't seem like it..." You laugh nervously, looking down as you flip back to the page you were on before closing the book.

"No, truly. I did." He insists. "Just... for lack of a better term, it was tragic."

"Yes, well..." You chuckle, shrugging slightly and tucking your book back into the bag next to you.

"It was heartbreaking!" He laughs suddenly. "And that's your favourite?" He looks at you then, head tilted as he slightly shakes his head.

"Okay, so," You laugh, rolling your eyes. You were used to defending this to others who have tried reading it. "That's what makes it so beautiful. It's so touching, they died for each other thinking they were in love, but they also hardly knew each other. It forces you to wonder what could have been, and I like that."

"Okay, well, you're right." Coryo agrees. "I didn't like the ending, but that's the point, I suppose. The rest was good, it reminded me a lot of you."

"I think I forced a bias onto you. My apologies."

"You didn't force anything on me." He smiles, shaking his head. "All I knew is that you loved it, and that made it so much better."

Your cheeks flush as you busy yourself by pulling out the bag of cherries. "Would you like some?" You offer the bag to him and he reaches in, taking just a couple out and popping one into his mouth.

"I finished it all before you left." Coryo tells you, and you hold him out another empty paper bag to spit the pits into.

"That good?" You smile and he nods.

"Can I..." Coryo starts, and you tilt your head at him. He doesn't want to ruin your day by bringing this up. Everything on your face shows hope, even excitement for what he is going to say. "If you can't hear this stop me, but the book made great company in the mentor hall."

For a moment, he saw nervousness flicker behind your eyes, but still, you nodded. You wanted to hear anything he had to say- you just hoped you could stomach it.

"Oh, that's fine. I'm... I'm glad." You try and smile, distracting yourself by popping a cherry into your mouth.

"I was alone most of the time. I didn't go home." He tells you, trying to say what he wanted but still be as vague as possible.

"It must have been so horribly boring." You laugh nervously, swallowing the cherry pit as you reach for another of the small red fruits, picking the stem from it and flicking it into the lake.

"I wish it was." He replies, watching you closely to see if and when he's crossed a line. You nod in understanding, and he takes a nervous breath in. "I... The alternative was that I got sent home like some of my classmates. I wasn't going to leave until I had to."

'Until I had to.'

So he was forced to go in for Sejanus. Why on earth would they not send peacekeepers? Why another child?

"I... I appreciate that." You stammer out, looking down at your lap, noticing for the first time that your hands were trembling. "That must have been uncomfortable. I apologize."

Coryo furrows his brow at you. "No, I'm sorry. Why would you apologize to me?" He asks. "I'm sorry I couldn't do more for you. That I couldn't get you out."

"You did more than you had to." You say, voice quiet with your honesty.

"No." He shakes his head. "I had to do everything I did. I couldn't let you die."

"You saved my life, and... and-" It happens very suddenly when a tear falls down your cheek; you didn't even notice you were starting to panic.

"No, wait, I'm sorry, hey, don't cry..." Coryo says quickly. He wants to help, to do something, but he feels helpless. Again. He feels sick with the knowledge that he always says the wrong thing.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." You mumble, trying to wipe your eyes but you're finding it hard to speak.

"Don't be, please don't be sorry." He pleads with you, shifting so he's kneeling next to you, placing a hand on your back.

You almost jump away, head flying to look at him. He's just rubbing your back. He's only trying to help.

Instinctively, your eyes search for his. They aren't hard to find, and all you can see as you search them is worry. Nothing malicious. "I... Do you want me to get Lucy Gray? Or your brother?" He offers, grabbing your shaking hands in his free one. "Just take deep breaths."

You nod, scared to look away for even a second. So he has to.

Coryo turns back, swallowing his pride. "Lennox! Lucy Gray!" He shouts, drawing their attention quickly.

He accepted the berating he was about to get from your brother before it even came.

"What did you do?" Lennox asks him, forcing himself between the two of you.

"We were just talking and I think I said something- I don't know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." Coryo answers honestly, standing up and taking a step back.

You're watching him, intently, despite Lucy Gray taking over holding you and talking to you in hushed tones, trying to ease your mind.

"I'm okay." You tell her, nodding. You don't look at her, only watching him. Watching his eyes- but nothing changes. Baby blue. Worry. More worry.

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs , @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie ,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[nymph-ette111]

pls write Simon henriksson headcanons I’m gnawing at the walls of my enclosure 👩‍🦲

WARNINGS; SUBSTANCE ABUSE (SMOKING/DRUGS) MENTIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS (DEPRESSION/ANXIETY) MENTIONS OF INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY, UNHEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS (SELF-HARM)

AUTHOR'S NOTE; FIRST CRY OF FEAR REQUEST LET'S FUCKING GOOOO !1!1!1!1!1!!1!! kind of short, still new to the fandom so my headcanons of the characters might change overtime.

-it was confirmed that Simon is a fan of heavy metal and DSBM :3 personally I am not an avid listener of this genre, I think it's pretty cool. I'd like to headcanon specific bands that I think are suiting for Simon but I barely know anything so I don't really have a say on this.

-probably has some sort of internalized misogyny. he grew up all alone, his mother being quite overprotective didn't help with that at all and seeing no mentions of his father in the game makes me think his parents were divorced quite early in Simon's life. being exposed to such settings at a young age might have messed with his perception of love and healthy romantic relationships. despite that, he doesn't care much about gender norms now that he's older. left that mindset long ago.

-picked up on his coping mechanisms in his early teens. he was a bit scared at first of trying something like self-harm, it took him him a lot of time and internal conflict but then decided to just fuck it, he had nothing to lose. felt guilty at first, dropped it for a bit and then picked up on it again. he knows it isn't a healthy way to deal and cope with his negative thoughts but he couldn't care less at that point.

-isn't unfamiliar with drugs but not that crazy about it. not as much as cigarettes, although he does it occasionally, he could still smoke like a pack in one sitting if the situation really called for it. usually just sticks to 2-3 cigs, thinks it's a good enough amount.

^ can you tell I have no idea what I'm talking about.

-you'll never get that crusty ass grey hoodie of his off of him. it's like a cartoon where the character's never change outfit throughout the entire show. besides the fact that it's a literal video game, even in his daily life he almost never switches things up. not necessarily dirty, just worn out and stained with stuff that doesn't want to come off no matter how many times he washes it.

-has a mini fridge full of energy drinks in his room. and by full I mean like two cans because the rest have been consumed and thrown somewhere onto the ground.

-cannot save money for the life of him. as soon as he gets his hands on some cash, it's immediately spent on either a pack of cigarettes or some useless shit. he doesn't even remember what he spends it on, it's just gone.

-hadn't picked up his camera in quite a while, he's slowly loosing grip on his interests. not necessarily because he is starting to dislike them, just doesn't have the motivation.

-but it's usually full of recordings of him on the train, lonely streets of Stockholm or some stray cat that has grown a liking to Simon for some odd reason.

-one time Sophie took his camera without telling him and recorded a small video of herself, just doing something simple like a peace sign or showing off a little doodle she drew in her notebook. despite trying his best to move on, he watches that video from time to time.

[kerubimcrepin]

Wakfu Manga - Tome 3, Part 1

[looks at the cover art where he's doing literally nothing] I'm insane. I',m insane.

He likes to stay in the shadows but didn't hesitate to help.....

He likes the brotherhood of tofu so much that it overpowers his rational thought and social anxiety.

Not Joris being drawn with Shojo Sparkles around him. I bet he thinks he looks so cool. LOSER!

The sad thing is that,,,, he does look cool. His cringe charm works on me.

He looks so tense-yet-chill... fgjdfg.

The thing about Joris is that he is 600 and there's very little in this world that actually makes him feel afraid for his life. Though intellectually, he knows that he probably should be scared shitless.

Don't worry though, he is about to feel some capital-letter-f Fear.

I do think that when it's not just him that's in danger, he gets a bit more anxious.

HE LOOKS LIKE A BUG. @dullard anyway hey your pfp.

Pictured: pack of wild animals.

Joris trying to comfort Ruel by putting a hand on his shoulder and saying, "No, let Yugo cook with this one. I think he has a point. We should cross the ravine."

He's so emotionally constipated.

DFGSDFGAKSLDGDIFJAOISDFJSADLKGHSA;LGASDFGHSJFGHSDFUGSHDFJGVHSDNFGJSHRDGJVLKDFHGSUFGHDFJKGHSDJFG

"Very nice flight, Ruel." said with a blank expression of terror.

They keep asking him this stuff and he keeps not knowing anythinggg. And it's funny every single time.

"Ruel, try dodging the rocks."

I don't know why he's so funny. He's so fucking unemotional it's actually insane.

The way Joris stammers here...

He went from knowing shitfuck about cracklers, mostly being useless during the fight save for one moment, holding onto the train somewhere offscreen for his dear life, saying "CAN YOU TRY DODGING THE ROCKS", to still being alive.

He's probably,, dissociating by now. fsjdkgdf

LEGENDARY Joris moment.

He's so cute... So excited to fish together with Yugo... And the way he casually calls him "Master".

Some important things to know about Joris is that he is petty and hypocritical. YES I believe he's known Eva and Amalia since they were kids, YES I think he cares about them in some way... but I think he likes Yugo more.

Simply because Yugo won't die that fast. He's worth spending time on. He can be a mentor to him ("do as I say, not as I do"), he remembers what it was like — living, spending time together with Lilotte and Simone, and knowing that he was going to outlive them. Knowing that he was going to have to outlive everyone else. And, his childhood ended at 10, while Yugo's ended at 12.

He can't help but look at him and think these things.

I think Joris doesn't exactly look down on mortals, but instead has something much more mentally ill going on there. He can't allow himself to care about people like Amalia and Eva.

The way he looks at Ruel's fishing rod... fjgsfg.

It's so difficult to have relationships with people who aren't childhood friends or his uncle and dad. He can barely talk, or come up with any way to get closer together. So the best way he knows is gift-giving.

A very brief moment of vulnerability, and then —

A casual lil shrug. He's insane. He wants them (especially Yugo) to ask questions so bad. dfgjdkgsfd

And also, OF COURSE Amalia and Ruel know of Khan Karkass! Nerds...

He dropped this lore so, so casually, and then did not elaborate. The true Joris Jurgen approach to building friendships.

Ruel can't count </3 it's 600.

[puts on tinfoil hat] I think Joris is feeling mixed emotions. On one hand, this is Yugo, and Yugo loves his gift. On another hand, he just gave away one of the remaining pieces of his friend. Was it the right choice? Is this worth it?

casually sticks his pinky out like a princess, looking like he is going to have some sort of violent episode.

THEY'RE SO CUTE... THE FRIENDS.

Begging him to stop talking and acting like a beautiful damsel from a castle.

[maopll]

Helloooo! I saw your ,,pretty boy" post i love it!

I hope I don't break any rules or make you uncomfortable but I would like to request something.

I absolutely love hurt/comfort where reader is the one that comfort the character. So can I request nightmare comfort with overblot gang? (If not then maybe only Leona and Malleus) Let's say they cry in their sleep bc they were dreaming about hurting their s/o and they wake up without reader anywhere. Let say they went to bathroom or to get water and they come back seeing their lover in tears?

I hope it's not too much! Feel free to ignore it

(and can I be 🫐 anon? I think I will be here a lot ;D )

I will be by your side

a/n: 🫐 anon you did not break any rules and thanks for the hurt comfort I crave these. forgive me but I couldn't find a suitable picture for this fic :") and I'm not doing everyone but ills include riddle with leona and malleus

characeters: leona, malleus, riddle

warning: graphic content, nightmares, blood, please do not read if you're uncomfortable !

✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .✧ ˚ 　· 　　 .

Leona Kingscholar

leona doesn't really admit it but he saw the face you made when he was sane after he overbloted he saw how touching your hands made you flinch

it pained him how just a simple touch from him made you flinch and your lips shaked from it

now he saw a nightmare which was like a fuel to his fears

he overbloted and hurted you

your breathing ragged with a big wound on your stomach as blood gushed out from it onto the floor

he was just standing there as if he froze and he was not even moving his hand

he wanted to scream but nothing came out

until your body suddenly dissipated

he jolted from his bed

he saw how much he was sweating but he got more scared when he couldn't find you beside him

he ran to find wherever you were just please don't disappear

then he saw you pouring yourself a glass of water

you noticed leona and rushed over to him because he was in a really REALLY bad condition

he just hugged you close and didn't say a word. all he wanted was to feel you and take in the scent which would always calm his nerves

Malleus Draconia

malleus never really had any nightmares and he never used to dream that much

if he ever did he would usually forget them

but after his overblot with you being there on the scene terrified of him because he was no longer sane was the most heart breaking sight he ever saw and vowed to never hurt you

but why

just why were you dying in his arms ?

you face no longer smiling and having the warmth which helped him go through the toughest of days and the sweet voice that would lul him to sleep

unable to take in the sight infront of him he shouted to the top of his lungs

then he woke up in cold sweat but then he started to panic when you were no longer found beside him

he scurried from the bed just to find you in the bathroom

he broke down right there and you got so confused about it, but you didn't question because he clearly had a mental breakdown right now so you just kissed his tear stained cheeks

Riddle Rosehearts

he noticed how scared and terrified you were of him when he overbloted

so after the whole situation he made sure to comfort you a lot and not be so rude to you like he was before all that happened

he stated keeping his anger in check but how did all of this happen?

how is your once lively face now pale and cold?

why is your body covered in red roses and thorns which pierced right through your body ?

why was the ground near you and the poison ivy and thorns covered in blood?

oh right

he was the reason why your lifeless body now lies infront of him while he just stood there

he wanted to scream, cry and run away and just forget that all of it ever happened and you never died you would be there in your dorm waiting when your lovely boyfriend would come back

all his thoughts soon disappeared as you shook him awake

he was crying so bad his eyes were red and hair was sticking to his forehead with how much he was sweating

he didn't want to tell you what happened and just said that it was a bad nightmare

he swore that he would never allow that to happen to you

he just cuddled you close for the rest of the night as you stroked his hair to soothe him

[aetheternity]

Synopsis: You're sick, thankfully the 6reeze boys are there to care for you.

CW: Just sweet fluff. Reader calls Wanderer, Kuni.

Aether

☆ Now now, just because you're sick doesn't mean you have to eat stuff you hate.

☆ He'll literally make you any food / drink you want. Unless you're throwing up. Then he'll stick to giving you water to flush your system out.

☆ He does any and everything you want no matter how ridiculous it may seem. Pillow needs fluffing? He's your guy. Extra blanket needed? He's got two pick the one you like better. You want a bath? He'll run it for you.

☆ He lets Paimon read one of the stories he wrote. Just to help you fall asleep easier.

☆ "And then our hero turns to his trusty, reliable, amazing companion and says-"

☆ "Paimon, stop padding out the story. The whole point of this was to relax Name, this isn't for entertainment purposes."

☆ "Paimon has to make the story more interesting or else even Paimon will fall asleep reading it!"

☆ You can't help but giggle at Aether's sullen expression.

☆ He makes sure to take your temperature every hour and yes it does feel a bit excessive but he wants to make sure you're actually making a recovery. Humor him would ya?

☆ "What's it say? What's it say? Is the cold breaking?" Paimon questions

☆ "Maybe we need more blankets and soup."

☆ "Doctor Paimon is on it!"

☆ Don't worry even if they argue quite a bit or the entire time. You're definitely going to make a speedy recovery with Doctor Aether and Doctor Paimon tending to you.

Heizou

☆ He was already off for the week as it was so now here he was at your door with a big smile and some treats for the two of you to share.

☆ He starts boiling a pot of water so you can soak in the steam almost immediately.

☆ "So, what do you think got you so under the weather?"

☆ "I have no idea.. honestly I just woke up yesterday sick as a dog."

☆ "Well, these kinds of things don't just magically happen even though it can feel like it. Trace your steps back to before the illness."

☆ Another one that isn't worried enough about getting sick himself. Though he's human so he's the one that should.

☆ You're already burrito wrapped in a huge thick blanket but somehow you're still shivering so he slides into place behind you wrapping you tightly in his arms until your body slowly relaxes.

☆ "You're not worried enough about catching my germs."

☆ "Well, I know if I happened to fall victim to a dreaded cold, you'd be my savior as a sort of debt for me being yours." He chuckles

☆ And of course when he inevitably does catch what you had he has the prettiest nurse to care to him. Or at least that's how he describes it.

Kazuha

☆ He's so oddly happy to take care of you while your sick. Like yeah he'd far prefer if you were in good health and spirits but he likes any scenario where he can tend to your physical, mental or emotional state.

☆ Lets you rest your head in his lap while he strokes the top of your head. You can apologize as much as you want for all of the snot and spit you accidentally drip onto his clothes during this time but he couldn't care less.

☆ "Your worry is valid, however if I'm going to be here with you until you recover I have plenty of time to wash my clothes.

☆ "Are you going to leave as soon as I get better?"

☆ His laugh is airy, "I have nowhere in particular that I need to be. If you're willing to have me I can stay for at least a few weeks."

☆ He reads every single haiku he's written to you to take your mind off the pain and when he runs out of those he starts telling you stories of his journey.

☆ "One day a young boy was stood along a stream, his head hung staring down at the water below. At long glance a troubled soul trying to discover some sort of mystery in the endless current of water. But at face value. A long rope and a boy long gone from this world."

☆ "How is that supposed to make me feel better?" You grumble clutching the pillow in your arms tightly

☆ "It's simply a distraction. For a moment your pain was disrupted by my story and it ceased to exist. While the story itself may or may not be true. Similarly when I began that story you believed I was telling it with the purest intent. That I was doing it to aid in your sleep. All is not as it seems, the story teaches."

☆ "I don't like that story."

☆ Even if his stories aren't the most sensitive he does still keep your space extremely clean and even tidies the rest of your house up as you sleep.

☆ You'll sometimes wake up alone but you always know Kazuha will be back if you call out to him. That's how he'd always been as it was.

Venti

☆ You're more than a little curious as to how he found out you'd fallen ill in the first place. He dodges the question.

☆ "Come now, aren't you just happy to have your favorite archon tending to you regardless?"

☆ "You could just tell me ya know. I'm not exactly in a judgmental mood."

☆ Stops you every single time you try to get up.

☆ "And just where is my patient going?" He places both hands on his hips.

☆ "I need my medicine, Venti."

☆ "That's what I'm here for. Your personal caretaker is at your service." He gestures for you to lay back down and refuses to leave until you're fully beneath the blankets.

☆ "Halt!"

☆ "Halt??" You nearly snort

☆ "Where are you going now?"

☆ "I have to pee, Venti!"

☆ His cheeks bloom a tiny pink, "Oh, ahem carry on then.." He chuckles

☆ He literally never leaves your house. Taking advantage of the fact that he's a God and can't fall ill as often as possible. Just crawling in beside you in your bed.

☆ "Even if you can't get sick, do you really want me sneezing and coughing in your face?"

☆ "Don't worry, I'm far away enough that if you wake up in a coughing frenzy it won't even touch me."

☆ He was in fact not far away enough.

☆ You find yourself getting more and more accustomed to rising and falling asleep to the sound of his voice. His songs so sweet, they end up helping you sleep deeper than you ever had before.

☆ "So, what kind of payment am I looking at? You know to thank my favorite archon for clearing his busy schedule just to tend to one of his mere disciples."

☆ "Aw don't put it like that. I would've done it for free. We are friends after all."

☆ "Did I hear would've?"

☆ "Well since you mentioned it there's only one thing I want. Let's get a drink together. You know when you're fully recovered."

☆ "Sure. It's a date."

Wanderer

☆ Everything he makes you is disgustingly bitter and he forces you to drink every single drop too. (We don't waste food here).

☆ "If you wanted a babysitter you should've called someone else. I'm just here to make sure you don't die."

☆ Surprisingly well meaning in everything he does. Gets you an extra blanket when you ask and even stays while you sleep. Clearing up your mess of tissues and washing all your dishes.

☆ He makes himself feel better after being so helpful all day though: "You look worse every time I come back over here." His grin shitty.

☆ "Funny, cause I've noticed you look better when I'm bleary eyed."

☆ You're not sure what you're expecting after that but his snarky huff as he leaves the room doesn't give you much confidence that he isn't planning to suffocate you with a pillow next time you doze off.

☆ "You know, you're gonna make someone a really cute house wife someday." You remark as he grabs your nth bowl of finished soup for the day.

☆ "Shut it." He grunts though before he can fully swivel around you see a dust of pink graze his cheeks.

☆ You wake up at one point to a cute plushie in your arms. The stiching so neat and the fabric of its hair and clothes so soft. As you turn it over more and more you start to notice the similarities between it and your dear caretaker.

☆"Why are you staring at him so hard?"

☆ You gasp, "Wait, he's yours?! You made a doll that looks like you??"

☆ "Don't act so shocked, I have things I care about like everyone else."

☆ "He's so cute!" You snuggle tiny Wanderer closer feeling infinitely better just being able to touch something so precious to someone you cared about so deeply. "But why give him to me?"

☆ "Because, when you get better and tell this story again. No one's ever going to believe you about the doll."

☆ You stare at him blankly, eyes growing wider. That dark smirk forming on his face as he stared back in pure amusement. "KUNI, YOU JERK!"

☆ "DON'T YOU DARE THROW HIM, HE'S NOT A TOY!"

Xiao

☆ He can't even begin to understand why you can't do anything for yourself.

☆ "Mortals can be so weak." He grunts when you explained your sickness.

☆ All you'd asked of him was if he could pick up your medication from Bubu Pharmacy on his way back from his daily patrol.

☆ He'd done it, easy but he still didn't leave immediately. For the next three days he'd leave you during his normal patrol hours then return at different times everyday.

☆ "How long do Mortals normally stay ill?" He questioned

☆ "Depends on the mortal, some can catch a cold and be bed ridden for a couple weeks. Age factors in too."

☆ He'd grown quiet after that. You're not completely sure he understands.

☆ Grossly overestimates how weak you are. Maybe you're into that tho.

☆ You're eating soup? He takes the spoon away and blows on the food then feeds it to you. You're trying to get up to go to the bathroom? He rushes over to open the door then trots back to grab your arm and keep you steady.

☆ The first time you went into a coughing fit he stared at you wide eyed, hair raised and on edge for several minutes before you'd willed him into coming close again.

☆ The first time he'd laid his head on the bedspread beside you you'd shooed him off. "I don't want you to catch any of my germs, Xiao Xiao."

☆ He shakes his head, "You need not project concern onto me. I can't contract an illness from you."

☆ Overall it feels almost too comforting having Xiao around like this. It was the most you'd seen of him in some time. Maybe you'd have to get sick more often.

[foressfaction]

:Ticci Toby:{A Rewrite}

CHAPTER 1

WARNING:: This story contains EXTREMELY triggering topics such as Domestic/Child/Substance abuse, Death, harsh language, GORE and dissociation triggers. This story mentions mental illnesses and disorders such as Depression, PTSD, ADHD, and Tourette's Syndrome. !!TICS MAY BE TRIGGERING!!

Chapter one

It was a couple of days full of constant debate between the two adults in the home. Toby had been up all night. The only thing that let him know was the sun that just peered from the horizon; it was his alarm clock piercing through the quiet morning air. Toby turned from what he was doing to shut it off. He was sitting at his desk scribbling in all of his school note books. The odd doodles ranged from stick men to just plain scribbles and German words he was trying to learn. He was half German after all, he really wanted to learn it. A pop screeched from his neck, closing his eyes tight and widely opening them a few times before blinking off the tic. Was it the first day of school?

Toby's mind wandered back to the hallway of flickering lights and sudden thick atmosphere. He kind of felt that way just then as well. It was probably the anxiety he just got. "Wait really?" muttered Toby to himself. He reached his hand up and pulled one of the blinds down, squinting his eyes to the red and orange bright light of the rising sun. "hmmm….black hole sun." He mumbled in reference to a song he liked. Toby never listened to music all too much but on occasion he would.

Toby pulled his backpack next to his leg and shoved all of the journals into it, some pencils too. He was surprised no one else decided to come in and try to wake him, despite him never going to sleep in the first place. The boy always struggled with sleep, it had been especially hard these last few days. He just felt like his mind was blurry. Toby knocked on his sister's door, assuming she actually might still be asleep, but was wrong. The bathroom door just across the hallway opened and there she stood. She looked exceptionally tired, hair in a messy bun and all stringy. That was kind of a family thing, stringy frizzy hair no matter how much you wash and brush it. "Aw never mind." Toby sighed out, earning a confused look from the blonde girl. "Never mind what?"

"You're tired, I was going to ask if you could drive me to school—" He was caught off guard by her sudden fast speaking. "Right, I didn't get much sleep last night. If at all, work was tiring and my co-workers thought it would be funny to complain about me to my boss..i might get fired." She sounded very stressed, almost as if she was going to cry while speaking.

"Complaining about what? You're such a-a goo-good worker?"

She shrugged at his concern. "It's probably because how late I usually am, by the time I'm done with all of my chores and school, work is just something that's piled onto that. I honestly think getting fired might be the best option, but what would dad think?" Her voice cracked a little at the end of her sentence. Toby didn't really know how to respond. "That won't happen, right? Things won't go downhill anymore right?"

The girl kinda just frowned, taking her brother by the shoulder and into a hug. "I hope not, if so…I can drive, i can just take us someplace quiet, get away for a while huh? Sound good?"

Toby smiled just a little, a weak one but the idea was there. "Jawohl." He replied. "Picking up German?" Lyra asked in remark to his unexpected reply, to which he nodded with a stupid grin. She patted his back in a gesture to tell him to head downstairs. "I'll drive you just let me get my shoes."

At that moment Toby descended down the stairs and towards the door. Neither his mom or dad were in sight. He wasn't sure if they slept in the same room or not. Toby looked outside to see that his mom's car was gone. His only assumption was that his dad took it somewhere, or they were both out, which wasn't completely unbelievable but still a little odd.

It wasn't long before Lyra had taken her brother up to his new school. Well it wouldn't really be considered new, just a different campus that went up with his grade, same people, same idiots. Toby grabbed his bag and sat there for a moment, staring down then to Lyra who also met his eyes at the same time he met hers. "I can tell you're nervous. I mean the first days are always nerve wracking." She started. "You got this though okay? You're unique..not different."

He listened to her with a small nod, yet half of him still doubted that. "Okay, Lyra, just this once.."

Lyra smiled warmly before speaking out rather loudly as he got out. "Love ya!"

He turned suddenly with an immediate response. "Love you more!"

As then she spat back "Love you most!" Toby huffed, visibly distraught but in a joking way. "you never let me win!" with that said he sorta literally ran into the building. The place wasn't as big as it seemed the day he came up here with his mom. It was probably because the halls were empty, now they were crowded with lost kids trying to find their classes. Toby had his schedule in hand and surprisingly knew where most of his classes were already due to his little mini journey he got a few days ago. Toby trotted straight to his main home room class, an English class with a teacher that looked about 80 years old. The desks were lines in rows of three. The boy chose the seat closest to the back and rested his stuff onto the ground. No one really was batting an eye.

The battle of holding his tics in was the hardest part. The teachers knew, the kids didn't. He didn't want to become the center of attention the second he blurts out a curse word.

Toby shook his head to that thought and opened up his journal he was doodling in last night. The first 8 pages were full of stupid little comic doodles. He even drew Mr. Cowbells. He thought it looked nice. Sooner or later class started, and the room was filled with kids of all diversity. Back when he was with the 'different' kids, they were almost all the same, when he tried talking to them, they would just give vague replies. He didn't understand them and they didn't understand him. But he ended up forcing himself into friendships with them only to be ripped away and thrown into a class of kids who were considered normal. Was this a way of considering him…normal?

He didn't feel normal, he was unique, Lyra says. He liked her choice of wording. 'unique' just rolls off the tongue so well.

"Alright everyone! As we know it is the first day of 6th grade, before you know it, you'll be in highschool, yippee right?" The sweet tone of the teacher silenced the once talking room of kids with her words. "To start the day off, why don't we all stand up and introduce ourselves with our names, age and a fun fact hm?"

Oh, this was weird. Toby watched as each student started to stand up and sputter random facts and an introduction to themselves. Some were longer than others, and some were as simple as could be. He didn't quite realize that he had to go as well, glancing over to meet eyes with the teacher as it was finally his turn, last to go.

Toby took a few glances around to see almost everyone was staring at him. He felt this feeling of dread take over him, like he was going to throw up, actually…..he might.

Toby, after taking a small breath, stood to his feet, holding his journal and looking down at it. "My name is Toby, uhm, I'm 13," he had to pause, feeling an itchy feeling in his throat. A sharp pressure building up to something he knew he couldn't control.

"Mh, mh! look at a spider!~ woo! spider, woo!-"

He could feel the embarrassment prick at his skin, his neck jerking forward as his hand jerked up and twisted a few times, as if he was waving royally. Toby heard a few giggles within the room of kids, looking back to the eyes of his teacher who didn't seem to mind much. He knew she was informed but he still felt bad. "um, I like to draw?"

He said as if anyone really gave a crap. They were all kinda just staring. He could feel them silently judging.

He felt another sensation at his throat, stomping his foot three times in a row while repeating a phrase. "Stop! Stop! Stop!" he shook his head, the embarrassment growing even more before he took a seat again, head hanging low.

"That's great to know, Toby, I bet you're a wonderful artist. Now does anyone have any questions?" Just then a kid raised his hand, a snarky grin on his face. "Yeah, I do." He pointed to Toby. "Why is he so ticci?"

The teacher didn't really understand at first, but it took a moment to hit. "Ah, let's not ask rude questions, this classroom is a safe space for all." She glanced at the brunette boy, who just sat there, like a sad dog. He knew what the kid was trying to hint at. "They're tics." Toby spoke out, eyeing the kid. "They're unique."

"No, they're annoying," The kid started up. "Can't you just hold them in?-"

"If we're going to have a problem already, I can tell you now I will not tolerate any bullying in my classroom, or on this campus young man, Toby is minding his own business, if you don't like what he can't help then leave." The older woman slightly snapped. "This is the first day of school guys, please don't make this hard on me."

Toby felt a little better knowing his teacher would be nice, his old one was very, let's just say, strict.

"You okay?" She looked towards Toby who met her eyes shortly after. He nodded, accidentally locking eyes with the kid who was making remarks a minute ago. If he remembered, the boy's name was Cameron, Cameron Winston. Toby didn't say anything, just glanced away quickly and opened his journal to start doodling again. This was his attempt to calm down.

Eventually the class was over, but as Toby was leaving he noticed the lights above. They were flickering again. The teacher was standing in the doorway farewelling her students. As she waved to Toby he stopped. "You guys should r-r-really fix your lights." He spoke out.

She looked up, tilting her head a little. "What do you mean?"

"They're working fine."

Toby shook his head, "No, they flicker all the time, how can you not see it?"

"It's lunch time, Toby, want me to escort you?" She changed the subject. Which Toby wasn't very happy about, but shrugged it off. "I mean yeah sure." With that, the nice woman started to lead Toby to the giant room where all the kids sat and ate, the cafeteria.

•••••

[tobi-smp]

https://twitter.com/mackself_/status/1752500529849045230?t=w8C_e8xr0ADSDa3L-7djPw&s=19

Penny for your thoughts?

[Link]

my real answer: I'm extremely uninterested in getting into arguments with people set on demonizing traumatized mentally ill characters for being traumatized and mentally ill. particularly when it comes to wilburians and inniters having strange crimeboys takes and taking pot shots at each other.

neither side (speaking only to the extremists in each group of course) seems to want to hear that traumatized mentally ill people Will often hurt each other while also still loving and caring about each other. the messy symptoms for Their character flattened and excused and pasted over, while the messy symptoms of the other are amplified and taken out of context and demonized.

I especially feel like with wilbur in particular people are really sensitive about viewing anything he does and says in a negative light, because of how he was treated in the fanbase And because of how Much his story is centered around his suicide.

the nasty things he said To Tommy, whether that be during his spiral or in limbo or after his revival, are so often just. Smoothed Over. if not outright talked about like it's some gotcha that people use to vilify wilbur and not a pattern of behavior just as much as tommy's own aggressiveness.

people vilified tommy for being scared and angry at wilbur after his reintroduction to the point that there are people who genuinely fully believe that their limbo stream and tommy's obvious fear of wilbur after tommy's own revival was retconned.

to put it bluntly, I think there's a ton of projection happening on both sides, understandably so considering how deeply and beautifully these characters tackle mental health. but I think that projection mingled with the way that Other parts of the fandom mistreat these characters make this Extreme defensiveness that's just really not worth engaging with.

and that's not even considering how the mcyt community as a whole has a major problem with parasocial relationships taken too far. Especially during 2020-2021 when covid was at its height and people were really leaning onto Their Streamer to help them cope with the isolation.

that's not to say that parasocial relationships or projection are inherently Bad. I know full well that I do both without a shred of embarrassment about it. it's very famously why I still can't engage with boundless sands content without immediately bursting into tears a year later.

but a lot of people can't seem to untangle their very personal feelings about it from arguments about characterization or writing or meta. it's very important to them to absolve Their Good Friend from any guilt or wrongdoing and to stick up for them against the bad people that are hurting them, be that other characters or people online. Especially when "their good friend" is Also a stand in for themselves (whether they realize it or not).

and it's just not worth engaging with that, especially not in 2024. if someone needs to use wilbur to be kind to the part of themselves that's hurting then by all means, I'm certainly not throwing stones in glass houses.

but there's really nothing To Say to someone who fully believes that tommy needs to be held accountable for driving wilbur to suicide in pogtopia. I think that's an extremely uncharitable, unkind thing to believe. I think it's an Unfair thing to believe. but it kind of doesn't matter what I think. I doubt there's anything that I or anyone could say that would change someone's mind if they already believe this.

and for my money, I'll be content just not speaking to someone who thinks that way.

my first reaction: did I only get sent this because I said that tommy calling wilbur crazy during pogtopia while actively trying to take care of him and get him to not kill himself isn't the same thing as techno doing it while actively enabling wilbur's violent self destructive death spiral [Link]

[vivid-vices]

why do you hate kunikida?

hate is a strong word because most of my issues are with 1) the way he comes across in the anime, and 2) a specific personality trait he has that i find obnoxious irl. i'm actually pretty neutral towards light novel/manga kunikida for the most part and when i read the chapter in the manga where it revealed his hands were gone, it was one of the most intense reactions i had to anything up until that point.

(a few chapters before when he ethically carjacked was one of my biggest laughs too)

i feel like in the anime his anger/frustration with dazai is played up a bit for laughs but to me it just feels insensitive towards dazai's obvious mental illness(es). like obviously dazai isn't trying to kill himself with the intention of actually dying but it's still a dick move to be so dismissive of it, even after two years. like be a little concerned dude.

but my main issue is one that stems from my own history which is that while i fully support people who have strong ideals or moral codes that they stick to, i don't think anyone has the fight to force those onto other people, which he has a tendency to do. he's not horrible about it, but it is a recurring thing.

oh, and secret third issue that is also super important to me!! i'll never forgive him for not wanting to protect kyouka. "she's a murderer" okay but she's also a fucking child and she's not even really a murderer, she's just a passive witness. it's just as traumatic for her. show some goddamn empathy. "we can't save everyone" yeah but you have the opportunity to save the child in front of you and isn't that worth fighting for?

anyway i prefer to talk about things i do like over the things i don't and i have mutuals who love him so i'm not about to go to war over my unpopular kunikida opinions :)

[occasional-pyrrhon]

I need to know your most unhinged headcanons about Pyrrhon. Idk if you already have a post like this, but I need to know.

YAY YAY YAY OK. OK EVERY THING I'VE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HTIS GUY LET'S GO. MILLION PAGE LONG POST UNDER THE CUT

OK so what is this thang in the first place right. I think he's an alien. HEAR ME OUT GUYS HEAR ME OUT. So space seems really weird and vaguely eldritch in the worldbuilding right, the Kraken and the Pirates' appearances being robotic along with the Aurum, who apparently just Happened one day. I think he also Happened one day and just crashed landed onto earth meteor style, either coming from the sun itself or being the Aurum's flawed attempt at mimicking a god that got too out of control and developed free will. I mean he has bright green eyes and looks nothing like the other gods. Even HADES wears CLOTHES man. Fitting with space being mostly outside the domain of the gods, this weird little mini sun man was able to claim the Sun God title because no one else was using it, which is why the gods themselves are torn on if he's one of them. He isn't immortal but he does age slower than normal, he's a fairly recent annoyance among all the divine discourse

Him and Arlon are brothers! Sorta. They met as kids without any apparent families and Pyrrhon theorizes that they're connected, which Arlon goes along with. So they kinda *become* brothers in a way with my headcanons? Ja. They start out being kinda frenemies who don't really get along and are just sticking with this theory to figure out their pasts but they end up truly having the brothers relationships and being at eachothers' backs. Everyone else is shocked to learn about this every single time since they're such opposites. Arlon lends stability and Pyrrhon lends freedom and encourages leniency towards the whole "loyalty" thing, which evidently means less to him. 😌

The other popular headcanon I like is that his flame aura is controlled by his emotions. He can make it flare up for dramatic effect or cool it down if he needs to, but it's typically involuntary. It's usually not harmful to people, though he can easily burn things if he isn't paying attention and he's always warm to the touch. If he's calm it simmers down. If he's really, truly upset or hopeless it goes out. If he's excited or angry it burns brighter. If it turns white hot and hurts to the touch, you should probably run. :)

He's trans. "How is he 7ft tall?" Divine HRT will do that to you. "Out of everyone in the cast who would be way more fitting-" I like him. "Wasn't there something in smash about the gods' physical forms-" I do what I want always all the time forever.

OKAY so it's tough sometimes with characters who are intended to be insane with no further context because on the one hand that can be kinda fucked but on the other hand OUHHHHH. crazy guy who loses control to the orb was such a weird adhd awakening for me but baby if it wasn't an awakening. SO putting aside that it's obviously exaggerated and he was probably just intended to be insane with no nuance, I headcanon him as autistic and adhd with probably an array of Other Shit going on that I'm not qualified to pin down without feeling like it may be insulting. my mental illness pilled folks give your takes below or don't if you're uncomfortable with attatching stuff to characters like this because that's very justified I just hyperfixate on and relate to the worst specimens possible o7 you would not believe how many ocs I have that are just "let's do this bitch again and deconstruct all the dehumanization these guys always get while we're at it" follow my main artblog with my ocs plug plug plug plug

I think he would hate Hades as the apex of the irresponsibility and evil of the gods. HOWEVER Pyrrhon x Hades is just inherently super funny to me so its tough I kinda need to reconsile them. MY HEADCANON is that they dated for a bit when Pyrrhon didn't have a vendetta against the gods yet and was going after cred then when Palutena and Medusa yuri-divorced Hades felt the urge to one-up Medusa in some way so he ended things with Pyrrhon by saying he's homophobic. This in turn put Pyrrhon on a brief stint of homophobia that he thankfully recovered from when he started to listen to Limp Bizkit (unironically in every way of course) and decided that Fred Durst is the most beautiful man on the planet. Or will be. Kid Icarus ancient Greece with Nintendo you know how it is.

I'm growling and pacing ominously with a shadow over my eyes all the time over his underdeveloped motivations BUT from what we're given of his respect for Pit and his vendetta against the gods along with the heroic act I feel like he's kinda with Dark Pit on the idea of the gods constantly throwing everything off balance BUT the critical difference that turns him into a villain is that he thinks that if a true hero like HIM were the most powerful god he could fix all of this! See see HIS indulgence in the violence and warring is justified he doesn't WANNA incinerate the angel but it's just for the greater good. Fool tried to end the cycle of violence by becoming part of it!!!!!!! Everyone point and laugh!!!!!!!!

He's smart but he's also a dumbass but he can actually be a genius under the right circumstances but he's so so stupid. Right. He would put together a computer on his own from nothing but Vibes then think YouTube is a platform exclusively for fnaf letsplays because its the first thing he clicked on and he doesn't know how to search. He can determine his location by looking at the stars he also got lost in the department store yesterday. He can tell you about the Aurum for two hours he doesn't remember what he ate for lunch yesterday so he answers with som shit like the essence of heroism in the sandwich of destiny. He's so me he's all of us in a way .

He has mild psychic powers and he is NOT good at them 💔 he taught himself short range telepathy hence why he only really talks to the others in person until he gets his power up. He also tried to learn how to give visions and prophecies recieved upon touching his gem but it kinda just traps you in his adhd mindzone where he tries to keep up the illusion with cardboard cutouts on sticks.

Okay post canon time! Horray!!!!! The shorter more hyperspecific headcanons are after this. Tw for trauma and parallels to abuse until this section is done we're in projecting lane now.

A lot of details of what happens to him post-Aurum vary depending on what I'm drawing/writing at the moment like if he gets out on his own or has to be rescued after the war with Hades resolves, but generally he's trapped with them for a while with wavering control over himself. He develops an intense phobia of space and the Aurum afterwards despite them once being his biggest interests (<- PROJECTING.) His sense of personhood is very disrupted - he wasn't just controlled, he was assimilated and became one in the same with them with only shards of him holding on and resisting. He goes between never wanting to encounter them again to being nothing but a vessel who *must* return to them again no matter what it does to him, and he doesn't remember how to be a person without them controlling him. He completely stops believing he's a god in any way. He often zones out with the instinct that something else will be at the wheel until someone snaps at him and he's like huh wuzzat. Then probably plays it off as being inconsiderate since what people expect of him is easier than the truth.

He has the belief that the Aurum are attempting to take him again, even if they end up destroyed they're too powerful to him now to end that easily. They're *all* and they're *everywhere*. Since a lot of ptsd symptoms can feel like losing control it compounds quickly.

He has a habit of covering his mouth when he's upset. The feeling of those words and that smile stick with him.

I also think he'd have pretty messed up misconceptions towards "redeeming himself". With his broken identity he clings onto the idea of being fearless and acting the same way he used to, otherwise they "won". He would do stuff like accompanying Pit on a space mission and acting like it's no sweat while intermittently sneaking off to hide the breakdown. Why should he be afraid? It was *his* fault after all, and if he can't stop himself from being hurt it's just going to be *his* problem.

He starts wearing clothes to hide the scars he recieved on his chest, back, and limbs. He wants to look like NOTHING has changed, as much as possible. He starts returning to his old Nothingcore fit the more he heals from the events, because he doesn't like the feeling of clothes in the first place. he wears fingerless gloves and leg warmers because he can't stand the alternatives to either.

He also has a cane that's supposed to look enough like a staff to pass as one. His legs have been Pixels for the past couple years ok. Either way he's insecure about it and mostly uses it private, once again passing off his troubles in the department as his typical cringefail self don't worry about it 😁 👍

There's some mechanical alterations inside of him and like. I don't know how to explain my vision here except imagine the junji ito stuff turning into spirals story but with math and geometry and such. You can plug a bluetooth chip into his back scar and he's a literal wifi hotspot now. The quadratic formula is hidden somewhere in his femur as a fun easter egg. A lot of the changes are good for an impromptu living weapon but not for that weapon having an easy time afterwards, but it takes a while for him to reach out for help there, not just because of all previously mentioned but because he *hates* the idea of something going in and making "edits" to him again.

There's some more literal lingering effects from the Aurum - he can understand Morse code and binary and is compelled to read it out and translate it whenever he sees it, and sometimes those are the forms of communication that remain when the others go down, along with general detached computer speak. He *really* doesn't like others seeing this -- I like the idea of Arlon or Palutena teaching him signing to use in moments like this.

He is so touch starved my god. He probably wasn't getting much affection pre-canon in the first place but after being in space for 3+ years in a place where anything organic for miles is destroyed on sight, his body not being his own, and then going on to hide it all? Someone lays a hand on his shoulder and he just *melts*. He already feels like the affectionate back-breaking bear hug type in my mind so it's just. Auougghhhhhhhhhh. Yeah.

Okay back to the less intense headcanons. All the main ones were at the top these are just little ideas or like stupid stuff.

NO ONE IS HANDING HIM THE AUX CORD. EVER. His top artist on Spotify is Smosh. He listens to Lil Dicky and Your Favorite Martian. When it's a date and he needs to put on the more acceptable by society stuff he puts on ABBA and the Niel Ciceriga mashup albums. The ladder is most of his exposure to the wider music world he was BAFFLED when he found out hendrix wasn't actually singing about furries. I also think it would be really fucking funny if his main playlist with 2010 YouTuber Core has like Kid A interspersed in there. Thom York and the party rock guys are on the exact same artistic pedestal to him (you can decide if he's a real one for that)

He would NOT BE A MYSOGINIST. NO ONE GETS MY GUY. He's the most cringefail feminist on earth he was at the women's march tripping over the asphalt and face planting 30 times and when it was over they had to pick him up with a dustpan. HER PRONOUNS ARE THEY/THEM !!!

He figured all the fnaf lore out on his own but none of the gods gave a shit so he used the peak of his power to bestow maddening visions upon Markiplier's 20th removed great Greek ancestor. Hades did the same thing to MatPat's 20th removed great Greek ancestor just to muddy the waters and spite his ex

His favorite animals are snakes, cats, and dragons. When the others find out about him Going Through It post canon, Viridi begrudgingly makes immortal replicas of a snake and cat as gifts to him for emotional support

He would use his divine resilience to go out and hug poisonous creatures and beasts because he can

He would get so upset by like made up cartoon insults like in worlds where everyone's a dragon and they call eachother a pink-tailed coward and that kind of stuff right. If he got teleported into the geronimo stilton book universe and another mouse called him a chedderface he would have to be HOSPITALIZED.

He doesn't curse a lot and only does it under very specific circumstances that tick him off like if you called spongebob annoying he would curse you out

Talks to himself alone in rooms constantly. Has ytp verbal stims.

Has a thumbtack and string board not for like anything in specific its kinda just his replacement for a journal but for a guy who tries to find the connection between the weird waiter he met at girls' night to the Aliens

I have a genre of guys I call Stray Dog Youth who are just people I think would evoke a heroic pity response from him and the urge to take them under his wing and raise them into defenders of justice. Pit. Chicken Little. Fluttershy. Shadow the Hedgehog. Timmy Turner. Gohan. Malcom in the middle maybe I never watched it. But do you see my vision here. He respects this genre of person more than any god ever

STIM LORE 🔥 fist bumps, flying around in circles, saying him catchphrases and doing him poses, playing with fire in his hands and swirling it around. He's a hup and huh and woop and oops and wup kind of guy. Sometimes he yells CHOCOLATE STARFISH!!! to himself in fred durst impression.

He polishes his forehead gem a lot to be as striking and shiny as possible

His hair starts to turn ashy at the tips and hang down when it grows longer

He respects human life more than the average god. Protecting the earth is his ultimate goal but he'll justify many questionable sacrifices to achieve that

Panromantic Asexual 💪 he does not care about flirting or sex there are horrors to quell citizen. I mean even if he wanted to he couldn't so.

Oh yeah he uses citizens generally when talking about humanity and such, but citizen turns into a nickname for Pit in particular as a sign of respect.

He gives Pit exposure therapy training after returning to earth and learning about his pyrophobia. He also has talks with Palutena, one of the first gods he develops some respect towards and one of the first people to accept him back in, since they relate to eachother over the Chaos Kin incident.

He doesn't have a real temple and he's mostly a drifter, but he did set up shop at an abandoned human temple in the middle of nowhere. WORST crib imaginable. courage the cowardly dog style PC setup. Light up gaming in progress sign. Q-bert funko pop displayed like a treasured collectable.

He would be OBSESSED with old low budget sci-fi movies and similar genres of b-movies. He thinks The Amazing Bulk is the best movie ever made ever

He would be really good at games where the rules are just entirely decided by vibes and such he can understand them thoroughly. That one video of the guys using toy phones and xylophones like a card game with gamer rage mannerisms. Calvinball. Etc.

He can go a while without sleep. When he needs to he lays back in the sky and sleeps among the stars. This has led to many flock of owls attacks followed by meteor crash landing into a god's back lawn.

THAT'S ALL I CAN THINK OF FOR NOW but yeah those are the big ones 💞 thank you for opening the gates for me to be insanecrazy about my specialist guy on the planet 😁

[genshinimpactlife]

*breaks through your window* *trips and falls on my face* My friend told me about your blog and its wonderful, so get comfortable Ill be staying here for a while

Do you have any headcannons about a Child!reader who was pretty much adopted by zhongli?

Lets say child!reader is like one of those blue onis and their family fled to Liyue after staying in inazuma for so long. Surprise surprise on the way to Liyue their boat goes plop, everyone dies and child!reader is the only survivor who managed to get to liyue

Zhongli finds this smol child with blue marks and blue horns lying on the coast of liyue and mentally asks "Is anyone gonna adopt the blue child?" and not wait for an answer

(This was originally gonna be a normal shower thought but my mind said 'no add some more trauma' and there the backstory is sad )

Zhongli with Child Oni Reader

You remembered everything about that horrible day. The sound of the storm raging outside, the boat rocking wildly back and forth.

You could hear his mother and father yelling at each other, but once you started crying, they stopped, your mother holding you to calm him.

You had managed to fall asleep but awoke just as a wave taller than the boat crashed into your boat. It ripped the ship in half, and you were separated from your mother, who had been holding you since you were upset.

You managed to grab onto a floating piece of wood and passed out while floating on it, ending up somewhere on Liyue's coast.

Zhongli happened to see the small Oni as he was out on his morning walk, and once he made sure you were breathing, he tried to find your parents. But, to no avail, he carried the young child back to his house.

You were wary of Zhongli when you first woke up, crying for your parents, which Zhongli tried to explain he would find them for you.

He put up found child posters and asked around Liyue, but nobody knew who you were.

"Well… I guess your mine now, kid."

It took you a long time to start opening up and be a cheerful child again, but Zhongli was up for the task.

Every night, Zhongli tells you a new story to lull you to sleep; because of it, you know much about Liyue's past.

You love trying to imitate Zhongli. For example, whenever Zhongli is sipping tea, you get your own cup full of juice. You also get your own book when Zhongli is reading something, even though it's too complicated for you to read.

You love going to work with Zhongli at the funeral parlor and playing with Hu Tao. She's your favorite aunt.

Zhongli doesn't allow anyone to speak badly of you as a blue Oni. The moment someone does, he isn't Zhongli anymore, he's Morax.

The day that you called Zhongli Dad for the first time made him sob for hours.

I accidentally read this as Childe as a child and had to go back and rewrite the entire thing. I'm so glad your friend showed you my blog, i'm always happy when people stick around! I hope you enjoy! <3

Tag List Here

@rainbowleo @okadahimeko @0-kuki-0 @cyberpandas-blog

[jayflrt]

🎀 update since it’s been a while

haiiiii i haven’t been on tumblr in 5ever. i feel like im only ever on here now when u update LMAO. speaking of LIVING for jay/yn. it’s AMAZE. i’m also every excited for the next update. but anywho how have you been! we haven’t spoke in forever i really can’t remember what my last update was abt so im just gonna skim thru things!

like since the start of this year ive been SUPERERRR into f1 so i made a podcast! (podcast in question is my cf on my spam account 🥸) 😅😅 i’ve always liked it because my brother did but i’ve gotten more into it. i also took a listen to romance untold and it’s SO good my favs r defff moonstruck and royalty 🔥.

lowk this summer has been chill like any other. i went to a couple parties with my friends but then after that not much happened. there’s no guy updates bc unfortunately my life is no longer a wattpad story because that was very hard on my emotions 😅😅. i’ve lowk sworn off relationships for a while. obviously not completely but i don’t know recently a friend pointed out to me that whenever im in one its very tolling on my emotions and it’s not good so i don’t want that to happened again. i was also just not in a good place when arsal/cameron/marcus happened. REST ASSURED I AM BETTER NOW!!! #weUP

about my friends it’s going nice! we’re kinda doing our own thing since it’s the summer however one of them, m (i think i name drop too comfortably on here), recently started talking (ish) to a guy and she’s kinda obsessed with him. like it’s in a weird way in where she full blown cancelled plans that we made like 5 days prior just bc she had last minute plans with him so 😃😃😃😃 i’m so happy for her!! (NOT). i have to be honest there’s nothing wrong with him other than the fact he looks like he SNUCK ONTO EARTH WHEN THEY FIRST WALKED ON THE MOON. so 🤗🤗🤗🤗

i have been writing a LOT more recently. like not even just because it’s kpop i don’t know i get the inspiration to write and just open a google docs document. like for instance one of them the plot is mc breaks up with sunghoon and becomes closer to heeseung but plot twist! they’re in a band and there’s DRAMAA 🔥🔥🔥. and then another one is where mc and jake r ENEMIES bc her dog tried impregnating jake’s dog at a dog park 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥. one of them is a sunghoon fic that’s heavily inspired by cmbyn (MINUS THE GROOMING) the other is a jay prank call au where he calls her bc he remembers his highschool sweetheart and she doesn’t even spare him a thought 🔥🔥🔥🔥. there’s a single dad sunghoon au somewhere in there. MY GOOGLE DOCS IS COOKING.

however i don’t think i could ever post it to tumblr. maybe one day when anyone is interested ill send in a little snippet of one of them 🤗 or dm u one of them and reveal my identity 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮. but i don’t know! i’ve tried writing on tumblr before but i was in highschool when i tried soooooo. i also think that im just too busy. maybe one day when im not so busy 🔥.

but yeah that’s really it 🤗🤗. but update me if anything cool is happening in ur life. r YOU having a hot girl summer. i also think u said you went on a trip recently (?) IDK. but pleeeekkk update me - 🎀

hihi 🎀 anon !! omg please i'm honored you're sticking around to update me 🥹 they're MUCH appreciated i love reading them <3 and thank you sm for tuning into yfi786 🥰🥰

omg i have a few friends who are super into f1 too!! the races look like they must be so fun to go to :') YKWW the close friends story podcast is always sm more fun to tune into than an actual podcast 🙂‍↕️ my fav rn is brought the heat back it's just been playing in my head 24/7 and that vocal run from jay hello!!!! moonstruck and royalty are SO good though they're definitely up there for me too

i'm glad your summer's been chill !! it's always nice to just have time to unwind before getting back to the uni grind 🥲 honestly relationships/situationships can take so much out of you mentally so i'm glad you don't have to feel that way anymore!! and im glad you get to spend the summer with your friends 💗

OMG NOOOO YOUR FRIEND NEEDS TO RUN FOR THE HILLS 😭 why would she cancel your guys plans like that?? LMFAOOO PLS we're always losing an angel to an ugly man 😞💔 no that's so upsetting tho :( i hope she gets over him he's not worth cancelling plans with friends over!!!!

omg wait SLAY 😌 the rush of writing inspiration always feels so so good and i hope it lasts a long time for you!!! HELP NOT THE DOGS MATING AT THE PARK 😭 but okay i see you grinding through those plots!!! 🔥 the google drive is being FED and oml if you ever feel like sharing,, my asks are open 🤭 also yeah that makes sense!! i don't bother with aesthetics because it's just sooo time consuming,, like don't get me wrong i'd love to have a super cute theme and stuff but it's def a lot of work :')

omg yes i went on a little trip with my friends :')) we did that thing where we pulled our vacation plan out of a hat LMFAO but it was fun!! i'm very sick of flying tho! 🫤 NO hot girl summer just hot corporate slave summer 😩 i have been trying to pick up new hobbies though because i just dropped my habit of doomscrolling on tiktok 🤧

[beevean]

feel like elaborating a bit on my new Helia thoughts, using this post by @legendarybelmont as a springboard (sorry bestie if you don't like this lol)

I'm starting to feel about it in a vaguely similar way as I do for Lenector, as horrible as it sounds. Let me explain: NCFV really wants you to think N!Hector and Lenore are good for each other because they sass each other and understand each other's plight in a world that doesn't respect them, right? But it conveniently glosses over all the unhealthy aspects like the massive power imbalance, Lenore's past abuse and promises of using him as a sex slave, Lenore's current self-centeredness, and even N!Hector ruining Lenore's life with his plan that lead to the destruction of the Styria council. So the story is uncomfortable to say the least, but if someone cared, they could appreciate it as a massively toxic ship built on shared misery and trauma bonding and ignore the canon ship tease.

Helia is kind of like that, except ofc that Julia did nothing wrong :P but similarly, the story does make sure to show you how good Hector and Julia are for each other: their personalities mash well (Julia is delightfully witty but still empathetic, which makes for a nice combination with the comically serious, angery but also polite Hector), they are both connected to Isaac, they are both familiar with a life of shunning, they both end the game grieving (the same person too, allegedly), and you can imagine them supporting each other and understanding each other like no one else could - I love Rosaly, but I pointed out that she simply can't understand Hector's past and nature, only accept it.

But then you remember that Hector is still grieving Rosaly when he accepts to live with a woman who looks identical to her. You remember that he tried to let himself die - the second time in the span of three years. You remember that Julia is grieving the man Hector wanted to kill, and indirectly killed. You remember that Hector completely ignored Julia's pleas to try to save her brother, her only family, and as extra spite he simply willed himself to not be cursed. You remember that Julia has the tendency to hide her feelings behind a polite smile, and Hector may not be as socially blind as Alucard, but he's also rather self-centered.

Now, I don't really like the trope of projecting your lost love onto a living one, a big grievance I have with the series as a whole lol - but it's one thing when Dracula does it, because he's centuries old and highly self-centered as well and you can make the argument that he didn't really respect Lisa if he went on a human killing rampage in her name :P there's no intended moral ambiguity with Hector.

But we can go beyond the intentions of canon, and have fun deconstructing the unhealthy parts of their future relationship. Somehow, they're both so good and so bad for each other, in a very unique way: they understand each other but they might feed into each other's trauma and be constant triggers. I'm sure they can eventually reach the part where they heal from their past, but it's going to take a long time.

(personally I'm not too keen on doing this because Hector suffered more than enough by the end of CoD, and if I wanted to see him suffer and develop all sorts of mental illnesses in a relationship I can stick with Draactor. But it's just me. Sure let's have fun with unhealthy m/f ships too lol)

[dreaming-of-the-end]

echoes, saltwater, lemon juice (or: a lesson in pressing bitterness into wounds): Kam

A/N: In which i give them the unhealthy relationship they deserve <3 Love these babies. Hi @pissy-victorian-vampire, I’m your secret santa! you said angst of any sort soooo...

Summary:

Keefe leans forward, places his hands on either side of Tam's legs and presses their lips together, quick, warm. "I'm sorry about that." He's not.

"You're not," Tam says.

TW: kissing? there’s a brief mention of physical violence. also, death mention. and mental illness.

Taglist: @steppingonshatteredglass @real-smooth @sunset-telepath @melanie-schmelanie  @stardustanddaffodils @jaxtheoraliestanner  @song-tam @turquoise-skyyyy @completekeefitztrash @wu-marcy  @saintashes  @rune-and-rising @lavender-and-rainy-days @chasteliac @confusedamphibian @hellomyfriends @cadence-talle @kai-i-guess @callas-starkflower-stew @a-harmless-poison  @professionalwhalewatcher @theogony @gay-otlc @confuzzled-fox @almostfullnerd @athenswrites @synonymroll648 @squishmallow36 @xanadaus

"It burns you sometimes, doesn't it?" Keefe twists his paper napkin so tightly it rips, shreds of the stained white scattering over his black pants. "The memory, I mean."

He doesn't have to ask what he means. "Like lemon juice. Like saltwater."

Keefe's fingers trace the grainy wood of the restaurant table with difficulty, the surface probably still sticky from the syrup-soaked pancakes he'd finished less than five minutes previously. "Like echoes?"

Tam stays silent. His hands are at his sides: he's never liked the cheap fast food places, preferring the clean-cut elegance of his own kitchen over screaming children and food he can't trust. More than that, it's the effect of it all: the bright lights in his eyes, the under-flavored over-sugared food, the lack of privacy, the smack of chewing gum coupled with the constant thrumming of the kitchen fridge, the tacky orange booth seats that stick to his skin.

And this conversation is too rich for the mediocrity of his surroundings. There's must still be something to be said about nights under the stars in a clearing in the woods, or perhaps a dock in the middle of the ocean, or floating in space, filled with the possibility of nothing and everything all at once. These words don't belong here. But Keefe does—not in a way to call him cheap or tacky, but in a bright, everything-everywhere-all-at-once kind of way. He's everything loud, everything bright, everything overwhelming.

"You need the reminder," Keefe says, resolute, as stuck in his self-righteousness as Tam's fork is to the syrupy table. "It's not over, Tam."

"Can't it be done? Can't it have died with her?" Tam feels the warm scent of unwashed bodies brush his skin. He wasn't made for this.

"You know that you did this to yourself."

And he hates Keefe for saying it. He hates him more than anyone, with an overwhelming catastrophic desperation that makes the entire world fade away, because it's always been that way with him. Keefe is simple and complicated in a terrifying, tell-me-who-i-am-and-i-won't-like-the-answer kind of way.

You know you did this to yourself.

Add that to his list of mistakes. Along with falling in love.

...

Tam might have physical echoes, but Keefe's are just as tangible.

The thing is, it's impossible to measure who has it worse (not that it stops him) when Tam's power is the thing attacking him night after night, while Keefe's mind is the only thing holding him hostage.

He's been there during attacks, of course. The times Tam loses himself in nightmares and his shadows come to life on the walls, shadowflux taking physical form to rake scratches into the mellow blue wallpaper Keefe handpicked for their bedroom, foggy condensation dripping from the ceiling onto the sunny yellow sheets of their bed. Their room is falling apart around them, and Keefe can't lie. He doesn't lie anymore.

It's his fault. Tam's.

His fault for choosing to learn shadowflux at all. Umber's journals taught him to weave shadow arrows and knives, rend apart concrete as if it's paper, bring objects crashing down when they're trying to sleep.

It's his fault. But he knows the way it burns. Lemon juice, saltwater, the sting of a frown and the twinge of hate. He knows burning like his own name.

So he knows regret. It calms him somewhat, to know that it was his own fault that he has these nightmares. At least he doesn't have to deal with blaming Tam.

Every day, he sees her: light auburn hair pulled into a bun tight enough to stretch the scars on her face that he'd given her. Right before he ended that light in her cold eyes, the ones that live on in his own face.

Gisela is trapped in his mirror. He has to live with the knowledge that every day, she might escape.

Every time he stares into it, meets his own eyes (her eyes) he feels her a little more. The burning of hate, of the fight with Dimitar and the salt of the ring in his wound. Sophie's desperate eyes, tear filled with prepared grief, because she knew then who he is now, and it destroyed both of them. And so he lost her.

Keefe plays that moment in his mind over and over, but he can’t come up with a version where she doesn’t learn who he is, what he is. He can’t come up with a version where she doesn’t leave him.

Sophie was right to mourn him then. Didn't that make it better when he died? When his mother killed him every way but physically?

...

Tam does not know who they want him to be.

It's a game of fear and choices, both of which he has learned from a schoolbook, studying the art of it.

This is fear: when your nightmares come to life, when your partner clutches at your arm because his mother formed from shadows made real, when the ghosts take physical form and you are powerless to stop them because you learned too well how to make them and not enough of how to send them away.

This is choice: to leave or to stay, to live or to die, how to run and how to love, how to unpack his clothes into drawers or how to make promises and keep them, how to leave one for another, to trust in his safety and let those he loves leave his sight to go with another.

And it's an art, along the lines of painting or singing or the poems he scribbles in his private journal. A love letter to terror, asking it to please stop calling because I'm happy now, I promise I'm happy, I don't need you anymore. All these lies.

He knows lying better than fear. Better than choices.

Tam knows lies, like the ones he tells himself. Like it was my fault (trying to convince himself) when it's not. It wasn't.

It was his fault. Keefe's.

Because he picked up Umber's journals for him, memorized every word to make the shadows leak into Keefe's head correctly, twisted his own insides around to keep him safe.

He would do it all again, of course. Every time, he's the one to lose himself in the glory of being a shield: Linh's protection, Sophie's rock, Keefe's last shred of common sense. It's him who makes the sacrifice, him who chooses to be exiled, to join the Neverseen, to give bits and pieces of himself away in a bargain that cancels out the danger instead of fixing it. He’s a bandaid on a gaping wound.

So perhaps this is fear: when you've given enough of yourself away to not recognize your shadowed eyes when you see them in the mirror.

Perhaps this is choice: whether to go on as half a person, or steal yourself back and take some of them with you.

...

"It drowns you sometimes, doesn't it?" Keefe watches Tam's legs swing back and forth on the countertop, and presses his hands against the cool marble. The chill is a tether and a knife cutting him free from his body. "The anger, I mean."

Tam considers this. Or, he puts on his Thinking Face, the one where his head tilts to the side and his eyes get all wide and his mouth comes open just a little bit, waiting for the spark to come through the space and light an idea in his head. It takes him a little while to form an answer, and when it does, it comes slow, tight with guilt. "Of course."

Keefe leans forward, places his hands on the counter on either side of Tam's legs and presses their lips together, quick, warm. "I'm sorry about that." He's not.

"You're not," Tam says.

He likes the anger, and Tam knows it. The day the two of them stop being angry about what happened to them is the day they turn into their parents and start being angry about what other people are doing and thinking and saying. It has to go somewhere. They have to go somewhere.

Keefe shrugs. He's less furious and more simmering these days. He paints it, his anger, the coolness of ice and piercing eyes. They stare at him always, worse at night, worse with Tam's shades bringing his mother back to life like she hasn't been dead for nearly three years. "You're not, either."

"No," Tam agrees, and this time it's him who moves forward to kiss him. His breath is warm against Keefe's cheeks, and he uses that warmth to center himself. Cold at his palms, heat on his lips.

See, he wishes he can tell his mother, I can still feel. Killing you didn't break me.

Tam did, though. Broke him apart and remolded him. For the better, maybe, or for the worse, probably. With a fire in the pit of his stomach like the throwing star he'd landed in hers. He hates him a little for that: for making him a new version of himself that he doesn't entirely like.

It's an attack, Tam's hands on his cheeks, caressing his cheekbone with his thumb, pulling him closer, threading through the tangles of his hair like he's not a boy made of lemon juice, of saltwater, of echoes. An attack because of how much it hurts, in his lungs and blood and bones, as Tam's palms warm his icy skin and Tam's lips part his own and Tam's eyelashes brush against his cheek with their closeness.

Keefe writes his own name in the fog in the mirror after he showers so he doesn't forget it.

He lets himself forget it now.

[foressfaction]

:Ticci Toby:{A Rewrite}

CHAPTER 6

WARNING:: This story contains EXTREMELY triggering topics such as Domestic/Child/Substance abuse, Death, harsh language, GORE and dissociation triggers. This story mentions mental illnesses and disorders such as Depression, PTSD, ADHD, and Tourette's Syndrome. !!TICS MAY BE TRIGGERING!!

Chapter six

Toby got home that night, realizing what he had done to his hands on the way home. They were chewed, bloody. Most of the blood was dry, but it wasn't hard to wash off.

Toby found some old pairs of winter gloves, they were black. He cut the tips of the fingers off, pulling them onto his hands to hide his scarred skin. He mostly wore jackets and flannels so the gloves wouldn't stand out as much. He really didn't want to be bandaged up again.

Lyra came opening his door, looking at him wide eyed. "What's up? I had an odd feeling just now."

"Eh? Oh, I'm fine, just- sitting, yep." he shrugged, tugging his hands into the creases of his elbows.

"Wait, Lyra, I have to ask, why was dad so mad yesterday?" he spoke, now thinking about how his head was healing. A white strip of gauze wrapped around his forehead halfway.

Lyra came in and sat down on his bed, hopping a little as she did so, making the bed bounce. "I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you. I quit my job, and well now we don't have much income."

Toby looked down slightly, kinda upset too. "heh..let me guess, dad did-didn't like that because you we-were the only one making money?"

She nodded. "I couldn't handle the drama, I wasn't getting promoted, I was only getting yelled at, work used to be my only escape from the verbal assault but I just didn't feel safe there." Lyra explained. This made Toby wonder, was Lyra skipping school? She never talked about it.

"You're still going to school right?" Toby asked. This earned a guilty side eye from the blonde girl. "Look- don't tell mom and dad okay? It was just too overwhelming and i had to work and- and-"

Toby grabbed her hand with a weak smile. "it's safe w-with me, why would i tell them? I know how dad would react, and mom would nev-never see the end of it." He looked down, a few facial tics leaving him.

"Let's go somewhere." Lyra randomly suggested. "Anywhere, for a drive, walk, even running doesn't sound so bad, I bet I can beat you in a race." She winked childishly. Despite being five years older than Toby, Lyra was a rather playful person. She was just overall chaotic. All she wanted to do was to make her brother laugh, see him smile. He never smiled much, or when he did it was an awkward smirk.

"Nuh uh, i-im way faster than you, believe it." Toby responded, taking on her challenge.

Lyra laughed stupidly and got up, lightning the mood. "Get your shoes on." She left the room quickly.

Toby got up and pulled on his old converses, they were all dirty and worn out from wearing them for so long. Toby followed the girl who disappeared into her room.

Lyra was putting her hair into a loose ponytail. She had bangs that fell perfectly above her eyes, and side tails that were just too short to fit into the ponytail. Her hair was thick and naturally a yellow blonde color. It was rather messy too, a family trait. She pulled on her own pair of plain white converses. Despite being white, they were still in way better shape than Toby's. Her style was pretty casual for their time, baggy jeans, band T-shirts with flannels or other sweaters layered over. They did live in a colder area so thicker and warmer clothes dominated their wardrobe. Plus the family's poor income only allowed them to mostly thrift all of their things, and stick to the same pair of shoes for years.

It's a good thing they never really grow out of old clothes. Both of the siblings being underweight and pretty malnourished. Lyra keeps Toby in check by doing things like they are now, exercising, without knowing it. Lyra and Toby honestly just liked being active. Staying inside all day was a bummer, and so what if it was 50 degrees out, they weren't going to suffice being bored to death all day.

School or work was the only reason they left the house, sometimes it was good to get out.

••••••

[squiddokiddo]

Squirt is adorable! I would love to know:

🌟 • Is your OC disabled, neurodivergent or mentally ill? Do they use any disability aids? What does support for their disability look like in the 2060s?

And

🫧• Name a character and I'll tell you what my OC thinks of them/their opinion on them. (Big Bro Scott)

���

Aww thanks.💛💛

🌟 • Is your OC disabled, neurodivergent or mentally ill? Do they use any disability aids? What does support for their disability look like in the 2060s?

Squirt is mentally ill, their illness stems from trauma they experienced before they met the Tracy family. I do want to write about this at some point but I'm not sure when I will.

Long story short, Squirt was originally a fun little self insert I made when I was 12. They have become more of their own character with their own story over time but I still project onto them a lot. The topic of trauma and mental illness and neurodivergence is important in Squirt's story because they helped me deal with my own while I was growing up.

When TAG came about, it became my safe space and it helped me cope through all of the shit I had to deal with as it got worse and worse, Squirt is rescued by IR at the lowest point in their life and is accepted into a cosy and loving family. I found a lot of comfort in Gordon which is why Squirt is so attached to him, underneath the anxiety and shyness Squirt is a little chaos gremlin because it was a part of my child self that was stripped away from me as I became more and more ill.

As I work on my own mental health, Squirt's story of healing will probably show itself and hopefully I'll be able to write about it more.

🫧 • Name a character and I'll tell you what my OC thinks of them/their opinion on them: Scott edition.

Oohhh Scott. There was a lot of mistrust in the beginning between these two, Scott was suspicious of Squirt, he would often say in front of them that he thought they were working for the Hood and Squirt felt threatened by Scott's reaction and would tend to avoid him.

Over time they got used to eachother, Squirt has become another sibling scooped under Scott's wing. Squirt sees Scott as the "grown up" to them he's the killjoy old man, they may stick with Gordon more than anyone else but it's mainly Scott and Grandma that have the authority and are involved in the important stuff like signing permission slips for school trips and dealing with documents when Squirt was being adopted into the family.

Squirt's mere presence makes Scott feel like an old man.

.⊹*𖦹Ask game𖦹*⊹.