#i'm not particularly invested in having open discussions on sexuality- it's not a huge part of my life- but it'd be nice to be ABLE to | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

vamptastic · 29 days ago

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for all that i am very chill about what other people do with their romantic and sexual lives i am so utterly and completely ashamed of expressing any sort personal desire for basically no reason. i will blame it on being treated as both a potential sexual predator and a sex object growing up GNC, and also the inner freud that forms in your mind when you read the writings of transphobes too much. but it's still dumb. i wasn't even raised christian.

#i don't even mean specific interests i mean my friend once asked if i like men or women more and i immediately supplied an untrue answer #and then went what the hell. why did i say that. i instinctively played into her perception of me to not freak her out.#and like when i hang out with the one other trans guy i know he talks about being gay a lot and im always like stop it... the opps #even though i like men. and most people that see me seem to now assume i am a gay man #im still like. i need plausible deniability. i need to let people be able to think im a lesbian if that makes them less mad #and that's just like the basics of what gender do you like... heaven forbid someone asks or makes an assumption about anything more specific #like shut up. i don't have human desires and wants and needs and if i did i wouldn't admit to them. leaf me alone.#i'm not particularly invested in having open discussions on sexuality- it's not a huge part of my life- but it'd be nice to be ABLE to #and it's very much a no judgement for thee but heavy judgment for me situation

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