#i'm not making this up his composer said that about him like 6 years ago

[mynarco]

takuto is a tsundere apparently

[auspex]

VtM Fangfest 2024 Prompt 6: The Hierophant

Hello! Here is my sixth fic for Fangfest 2024 :)

All my fics will be about characters that are previously established, so you might not have context for everything mentioned or hinted at within :( Feel free to reach out to ask I love explaining!

I've never really posted my writing before so be kind!

my first fic is here

my second fic is here

my third fic is here

my fourth fic is here

my fifth fic is here

This fic is about the Gangrel from the game I am the storyteller for, Blood and Silicon, which has its own blog run by the player @chiss-ticism here: @sanguineasylum. The starting phone call dialogue is from in game - @vtmgremlin played Blake and BIG SHOUT OUT TO @eric-the-bmo for transcribing!!!

The cold wind blew smoke and sparks from the fire towards Nelida’s face. Repressing a shudder, she composed herself and answered her ringing cellphone.

Nelida picks up after a moment's hesitation. “Hello?” As she picks up, Rico gives her a look, and listens in. Whatever. 

“Hey, it's B! I'm calling from a different number 'cause my other one broke. Sorry for the late-night call, do you remember that guy I was telling you about? That asshole? Hunter?” She didn’t know a guy named Hunter, but the way he emphasized that word… “Yeah, him? A few of his friends are in town, and they tried to start a fight, but we just took off. Just lettin' you know in case he comes by and tries to give you trouble. Probably stay out of the city for a little while. Yknow, Hunter and his crew are somewheres down there- they like to prowl downtown, so.”

This must be Blake calling - a new Gangrel, who had recently visited their little camp in the forest for the first time a week or so ago. “Wait, is- What- Do you think Hunter is coming tonight?” 

“Eh, I don't think so. I think for the most part he kinda took off with his buddies, but they're probably gonna be somewhere downtown. Who's to say. I do think the sheriff's probably gonna be looking out for him too, 'cause he knows he likes to cause trouble, so.”

The sheriff? Like this was some Camarilla city? No, he surely just meant kine legal trouble, right? “Um. Can you come over to talk?”

Blake inhales sharply. “Eh- I would if I could, but the problem is I gotta head out tonight, just in case, 'cause I gotta head up somewhere warm for the holidays. Y'know, family and all that.”

“What the hell. Are you talking about?” Nelida may not know much about Blake yet, but she highly doubted he actually had family he could go visit. But it's time to worry about herself, and her pack. If he’s leaving, then perhaps she should too. 

Before Blake can reply, she continues. “Should I head somewhere for the holidays?"

He replies, still casual. “I mean, if you want. I'll just say probably stay out of downtown for a little while. Uh, probably around South Market Street. Probably don't go around there’.

That’s downtown, which he had mentioned before, but this was near where Baron Harrison makes his domain. She didn’t know much else off the top of the top of her head about the area. “Okay... Wasn't planning on it, but thank you? When can we talk more about this?”

“Uh, probably be back in town... sometime next year.” 

“Next year!?”

“Y'know, after New Years!” Blake actually laughs. 

Oh. Cheeky. “Well, you better have a story for me then.” He still owed him one, and now this story clearly was one that involved her. Or at least, one that could. 

“I'm plannin' on it. But y'know, I gotta go and make a story happen first for me to tell you one.”

“What the hell.” She caught herself before saying his name on the phone. “Are you sure you can't stop by really quick?”

“Nah. I gotta head out soon, so- Yeah, just wanted to call and let you know. I don't want this call to go on for too long- I'm sure you need your beauty sleep- so Merry Christmas and all that, happy holidays. Also, probably don't call back this number, 'cause I actually had to borrow a phone from somebody- like I said, my other one broke, so.”

Was he implying he needed help? “Do you need.. assistance?”

Blake had hung up. 

“The fuck was that all about?” Rico stared up at her, crouching over the fire. 

“I’m not sure,” Nelida pursed her lips. “Something odd happened tonight for sure, we may be in danger. Blake must have uncovered something, he did say we don’t have to leave or anything though. Not that you would leave even if the place was on fire.” 

“Nope.” 

“Do you know anything about South Market Street?” 

Rico scratched his head as he replied. “Uh, the Hecata and Harrison had a small dispute over the area once, since resolved, it's a tourist trap area with a cathedral, not much else of note. Why?”

“Blake said to avoid the area.” 

“You gonna elaborate?” 

“He seemed to imply hunters.” 

The group was silent, listening to the crackling of the fire. Nelida began braiding her hair, and then continued. “This wouldn’t be the first time there were hunters in the city.” 

“Nope.”

After a moment's pause, Melinda, one of the newer Gangrel, spoke up. “Uh, mind filling me in?” 

Rico and Nelida looked at each other. 

Nelida’s eyes glimmered looking into the fire. “In the 80s, before your embrace, kindred society San Jose was settling down. The Tremere had accepted that there was no way they could push out the Hecata, and sequestered themselves to the North. A gang of Ventrue took it upon themselves to push down any would-be-upstarts, and so any who called themselves ‘baron’ only laid claim to small areas. Kindred were masters of their own domain.” 

Mel scratched the back of her neck. “Not like now.” 

Rico snorted, and Nelida gave her a small smile. “Well, do you know much about another kindred’s domain? Could you tell me what goes on in the Hecata’s turf, or up north, where the thinbloods are now?” 

She shook her head.

“Right, no, we don’t know much other than what they tell us. And no kindred talks about their own business - we’re secretive, and for good reason. So, back then, no one knew what was going on in the city at all, only across the street from their own haven. There was no coordination to look out for threats. We were all blind. Now - keep in mind, this was the 80s, so kindred did not have to contend with the Second Inquisition. No one was worried about kine hunters.”

Melinda smiled. “Y’all were careless.” 

Rico cut in. “Hey now. Me and Nelida, we were minding our damn business out here. Wasn’t our fault.”

“Yes Rico.” Nelida finished one braid and moved on to another. “But we are still affected by other’s recklessness. Now shh, let me tell it.” 

Melinda spoke up. “Wait, do we not like, need to do anything? Do we have time for this or should we be preparing for an attack or something?”

“No, I think he just wanted to give us a heads up. There’s nothing to be done, unless you have friends that you wish to warn. Now let me fill you in, like you asked.” The winter wind whispered and Nelida lowered her voice. “San Jose was experiencing a population boom. Whatever kine was your preference, it was not hard to find them. The Camarilla was not threatening the area. Unlife was good.” 

“So good in fact, that new kindred were moving in too. Without any centralized leadership, arguments over territory were common. Rico made his place here, and allowed other Gangrel to join him, but other clans were a lot more fractured. The Toreador and Malkavians practically drove each other out.” 

“Harrison is the reason why there’s no Roses in the city?” 

Nelida smiled. “Harrison wasn’t here yet. As I was saying though, there was conflict, and conflict draws attention. There was a Toreador named Miguel, a wonderful guitarist, beautiful, exactly who you are probably picturing right now. He had a penchant for attending concerts within the local music scene, even fraternizing with mortals there beyond one-night-stands. Unfortunately for Miguel, one of his favorite bands frequented venues in an area claimed by a Malkavian at the time named Gloria.” 

“Gloria got sick of seeing him, and despite warnings, he would not stop interacting with kine she considered hers.” Rico looked like he was about to say something, but was silenced by a look from Nelida. “She was known to kine as the landlord, a rather cruel one at that, and Miguel took advantage of this. He spurred those she collected rent from into action, protests and such, and had the bands support it.” 

“But some of the mortals he was supporting dug a little too deep, and found that she had been a landlord for two decades, despite only looking 30.” She looked from the fire into Melinda’s eyes. “If you wish to involve yourself in mortal business personally, your identity has an expiration date.” 

“Two of these kine, a couple, were assigned to keep looking into it. I do not know when they began to suspect something supernatural, but they surely caught wind.”

“Miguel won his fight, and Gloria ceded some territory to him. However, many months later, the couple confronted Gloria directly one night, and she was found staked and beheaded in an alley behind her haven.” 

“Such is the price of making mortals fight your battles - they have their own too. Miguel had put them on the scent. This all caused quite a stir, right Rico?” 

“Oh? Yeah. Yeah we were all freaked out by that. Gloria had been here for a long time, and she had a lotta connections. We didn’t know what those hunters had found by searching her shit. I mean, I wasn't too worried about myself and my pack, but others were. And soon enough, another Malkavian was reported killed, and another.” He stood up as he continued.

“After the third death we all really started to get our shit together. In the end it was actually the Tremere who found the pair. Probably tortured them for info that they didn’t fully share with the rest of us, but whatever. The final deaths stopped. But ever since then, kindred who live in the city or own shit have been a hell of a lot more careful. Plus, some people just started leaving, good riddance. It was getting too crazy here. And I thought things were pretty peaceful, until, well.” 

There was only the sound of the fire for a few seconds, until Melinda spoke. “Until tonight.”  

[sokokoko]

I have some old writing from 6 years ago that I want to keep but don't want it to take up space on my phone. So here!

I'm really laughing about how far I've come since then. My eyes are automatically correcting all the mistakes and cringe I see, but I won't actually correct them, for your viewing pleasure ♥︎

I really want to rewrite this one day. Back when I wrote it, I didn't have the skill or dedication to continue on or actually get to all the sweet, fun things I wanted to incorporate.

Pyre & Frost

Chapter 1: Some Say The World Will End In Fire, Some Say In Ice. Pt 1

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

"Hold your dAmN horses Caleb! This forest is private property."

This angry sentence was directed to none other than a black haired teen with dark chocolate eyes.

He was a tall, lanky fellow with tan-coloured skin.

The one delivering the scolding was a teen with strawberry blonde hair, with little strands of light blonde hair to be seen in certain places.

He had pale skin and was about 5'7, while his companion was 6'1.

He too had brown eyes, albeit lighter.

"C'mon Kai, who gave them the right to make it a 'nature reserve'? We've been coming here years before they did! We basically live here, hell, we may as well own it!"

The boy, Kai, frowned sighing. There was just no winning with Caleb around.

"Fine, but we have to go deep, to the unprotected parts. I don't want to get arrested because you want to 's'plore'."

Kai walked ahead past his scoffing friend.

"Damn it Kai. I haven't said s'plore in years! I don't even talk like that anymore..."

But alas, Kai wasn't even listening. Caleb may as well have mumbled that last sentence.

Caleb sulked quietly, as he jogged to catch up with his friend.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

As much as the two didn't want to get arrested for trespassing, maybe they shouldn't have gone so far.

They had never gone this far into the forest before.

Why would they need to?

As far as they were concerned, before, it was THEIR forest. Nobody bothered them there.

If anyone DID enter the forest, it's not like they noticed.

But now THEIR sanctuary was crowded with over-enthusiastic tourists and uncaring chav teens on school tours.

It wasn't fair that they had to go to the dangerous part of the forest, where hideous, heinous roars and growls were heard every few seconds.

This area proved to be more dark and swampy, with rough terrain.

Those stupid people probably took one look at this part of the forest thinking; 'And get my Gucci heels dirty? Heck naw.'

The foliage in the area was also untamed and wild, the tallest trees greedily soaking in sunlight.

Fallen trees were engulfed in moss and mushrooms. The place was, overall, quite gloomy.

Thought I was getting off topic? No, but store this information for later.

Back to those growls, what animal were those? They sounded so in sync, and disgustingly unnatural.

"Kai, which way's back?" Caleb said nervously.

In all the years he had known him, Caleb was the absolute picture of confidence. Nervousness just didn't suit him.

That was the first sign something was wrong.

The second was when all the markings they put on the trees, and stones they left as a trail, completely disappeared.

As in, like, before their very eyes.

One second they're there, looking at the markings and trail ready to follow it back, the next POOF!

"What the hap is fuckening!?" Kai shouted, his poor brain too confuzzled to even English properly.

"I'm not going crazy, right bud? You saw that too right!?" Caleb looked about ready to faint.

So remember those growls that I told you were really important?

Well, they seemed to be getting closer.

And louder.

"So, I'm thinking we should run..."

"But we can't go back the way we came! Those things are probably carnivores..."

Kai, as he said those words, looked close to having a panic attack.

"Ok fine. We might end up somewhere else but as long as we get out of this forest we're fine."

Caleb said trying to compose himself and calm his friend's worries.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

'What went wrong?'

I s'pose you're wondering whose thoughts those are?

Well, those were the thoughts of our two main protagonists.

I also suppose YOU'RE wondering what went wrong?

Well to say it plainly;

Caleb stared unblinkingly into the beast's eyes. Could they even be called eyes?

The beast itself was a raging inferno, a mess of blaze that radiated smoke and ash.

'A beast of pyre.'

That was what Caleb thought as the beast of fire sunk it's fangs into his shoulder.

Kai was having a similar predicament, yet very different.

His beast looked icy, watery and wispy at the same time.

Yet, he could tell it was a beast of ice from how the temperature seemed to drop.

'A beast of frost.'

That was his thoughts as the icy beast sunk cold, icicle-like fangs into his neck.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

(A/N: I hope my narrating wasn't TOO ramble-y.)

Chapter 1.5: Some Say The World Will End In Fire, Some Say In Ice. Pt 2

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Warning: Blood n' stuff. Language?

(A/N: Slightly graphic? Like, one scene.)

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

A loud, gunshot-like noise that rang through the air served as distraction enough.

The noise was most likely poachers in the more docile part of the forest.

The boys ran, ran faster than they ever did before.

Their attackers were on hot pursuit, ready to spill blood. Not like they hadn't already.

Caleb's shoulder was bleeding so hard the crimson colour could be seen through his black shirt.

Kai, however was fairing much better. He'd be dead if he wasn't.

The frost-beast managed to miss any important veins or pressure points.

He was still bleeding heavily as the beast had sunk it's claws into his arms to pin him down properly.

He was glad he wore a t-shirt, small victories.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Tired, tired, they were oh so tired.

To top it all off, it was raining.

The blood by now had clotted, crusty patches adorning their injuries.

Kai let out a grunt of acknowledgement as he and Caleb stumbled into a house.

A mansion more like.

It had that cliché 'haunted mansion' vibe going for it, creeky floorboards and all.

Shelter's shelter. Am I right?

But Caleb was being unusually quiet.

"Caleb, before you say it, no, this isn't your fault. Well, not entirely. I was the one who said we should go deeper into the forest and if you say anything except it's both our faults I will get you un-emancipated. Somehow."

Caleb let out a hearty laugh, it was the most joyful he'd been in hours.

"We're both shitheads."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

After a couple hours of rest, the two shitheads were prepared to leave. It had even stopped raining, just for them!

Well they were PREPARED to leave, until they heard two voices chatting amongst themselves.

"Brother, the legend is coming true. The elements of Pyre and Frost are entering their true bloodlines once again."

Did I forget to mention that the 'voices' were a set of creepy ghost twins like in the movies?

Darn it. I did, didn't I ?

USUALLY, something like that warrants a scream but Caleb and Kai knew now wasn't the time.

"Yes Sister. For the first time in centuries, I heard the calls of the two unholy beasts. Their union was most beautiful."

The 'sister' giggled creepily as she grinned an inhuman grin.

"Wonderful! Oh, what was that one poem? The one by a man of the name Robert Frost, Brother?"

"Fire and ice, Sister. It reminds you of the legend, does it not?"

"The first time they appear, they shall bring ruin to entire civilisations. They shall brand the bloodline of those they deem worthy."

"The worthy ones will bring upon either destruction or a new era. Should the worthy Pyre choose the path of destruction he will be destroyed by his own selfish desires."

"Should the worthy one of Frost choose the path of destruction he will be destroyed by his own loathe-ful hatred. Only together, as Pyre & Frost can they bring about a new era."

"All that's left now is to see if after their encounter with the beast of Pyre and beast of Frost, will they bring about an era of peace or tyranny?"

Kai and Caleb didn't even notice when the two started to speak in unison.

They had encountered a beast of Pyre and one of Frost.

Hadn't they?

They ran from the building, unknowingly being guided back home by the two phantoms.

"They seem to be close friends. Whatever their newfound strengths are used for, destruction or creation, they'll bring it about together, Sister."

"Most curious, Brother. Most curious indeed."

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

(A/N: And so starts our story.)

[linnisims]

LOST IN PARADISE

Chapter 4: The trip

Sunday morning

The sea was calm and the sun was gradually rising on the horizon.

Kaylie's alarm clock rang. It was 6 o'clock. That's not normally the time she would have to get up. It was unusual, but she had already woken up several times during the night anyway. She was nervous. She was looking forward to the trip with Matthew, but also hoped that he would actually come. She couldn't remember the last time she had met up with someone without being in constant contact via her smartphone. Probably never before. Matthew was different. She found it difficult to read him, but that's exactly what attracted her to him. He seemed a little “old school” to her. But that's exactly what made him special, Kaylie thinks.

Kaylie got up with the first alarm clock.

She began to get ready.

She rummaged through her wardrobe to find something warmer, which Matthew advised her to do. She had left all her clothes in Bridgeport because she didn't think she would need them here.

In the end, she was able to create an outfit that was color-coordinated, suited the occasion and would keep her reasonably warm. She glanced at her watch, then in the mirror again. It was already 6:50am. Kaylie realized her heart was beating a little faster at the thought that Matthew should be there any minute.

She went downstairs and looked out of the window to see if Matthew was there yet. And there he was, right on time. It's almost as if Kaylie hadn't expected it any other way. She smiled. It was nice to see that he kept his word. It was even nicer for her to see him waiting for her outside her door.

She went out so that he wouldn't have to wait any longer. Secretly, she didn't want to wait any longer either, so that she could finally be in his presence again.

'Good morning,' he said as he watched her come down the stairs. He eyed her unobtrusively and kept to himself how cute he thought she was in her outfit. He smirked slightly at the floor.

'Good morning, Matthew,' she replied to him with audible good mood. She went down the last two steps a little faster, walked straight up to him and hugged him in greeting without giving it much thought this time. She enjoyed the moment when she felt him put his arms around her.

“Are you ready?” he asked to make sure.

'Yes, I can hardly wait'.

'Very good'.

''We've got good weather,'' Kaylie noted, but looked at Matthew expectantly, as if waiting for his confirmation.

''Perfect for fishing,'' he said.

As they made their way in the sailboat to the fishing spot Matthew had chosen, the sky was overcast with clouds. It was still cool, just as Matthew predicted. Kaylie admired the slightly reddish sky and the beautiful view.

“Where are we sailing to?” she asked curiously.

'To a bay further north of here. It's a great fishing spot. We've always been there,' he explained to her.

“We?” Kaylie asked cautiously.

Matthew hesitated for a moment and turned his gaze away, looking out over the vast ocean.

''My uncle and I''.

Kaylie didn't know if she should inquire further based on his reaction, but she was curious about him. Curious to know more about him. Thinking about it, she realized that she didn't even know how old he was. She only knew his name. It's strange that she didn't question it until now either. Everything is completely different with him. It's not always the same superficial conversations like the guys she met in Bridgeport.

'And… not so often now?'

'No. He died three years ago.'

Kaylie was visibly uncomfortable. She hadn't expected this answer. She realized how she herself shuddered.

'Sorry, Matthew. I…didn't mean to seem too nosy. I… I'm sorry…,' she said in a depressed voice with a dismayed look on her face.

'It's all right. You couldn't have known,'' Matthew seemed composed, but there was humility in his voice.

Kaylie had resolved to find out more from him that day. But she hadn't expected to put her foot in her mouth with her first question. It demotivated her for her plan. She also didn't want him to feel that she was asking him questions.

She looked at the sea with a very unpleasant feeling in the pit of her stomach as they moved shallowly along the water.

“He went into the Navy and never came back,” he began.

Kaylie raised her head and listened carefully. The fact that he started to talk about it of his own accord was a great relief to her in this situation. It meant a lot to her that he obviously trusted her.

'His name was José. He was like a father to me,'' he continued. It was the first time in years that he had spoken about it again and, above all, that he had spoken to anyone at all about it. But Kaylie wasn't just anyone to him. He wanted to try to trust again, and with Kaylie he was obviously starting to be able to…

''I don't know my parents, they never wanted to get to know me. I've lived alone in the old fisherman's house ever since. It used to belong to my uncle.''

“It means a lot to you, doesn't it?” she asked gently. She was touched by what he told her.

'It's getting a bit dilapidated and it's not a long-term solution, I guess,' Matthew evaded the question. ''Enough about me. So you moved to this island all by yourself?' he asked.

'Yes,' she said. 'My father thinks it's all crazy,' she quoted. 'We don't have a very good relationship.

'He's probably worried about you?'

'That's not it,' she replied. 'He'd just like me to live according to his ideas.'

“And your mother?” he asked.

'I don't know her. According to my dad, she left us when I was just three years old.''

'I'm sorry to hear that,' he said in a hushed voice. 'It's nice that you're doing what you feel like doing.'

“So far, I haven't regretted it either,” she said, smiling gently as she looked him straight in the eye.

Matthew smiled gently back. He understood what she was trying to say.

When they arrived at the bay, they docked. The sun was already fully risen. Matthew unloaded the fishing tackle and his rucksack from the boat and stowed everything on the shore. He pulled out the two folding chairs from behind a tree and positioned them on the shore with a perfect view of the ocean.

Matthew explained how to use the fishing rod and showed her the best way to cast it. Kaylie listened spellbound.

Matthew prepared the fishing rod for Kaylie. Still visibly inexperienced with the fishing rod - but highly motivated - Kaylie tried to follow Matthew's tips, cast out and landed a good cast in the water.

'Hey, that was good!,' said Matthew enthusiastically.

“Thank you,” Kaylie said proudly. She was clearly enjoying it. She enjoyed trying something completely new. She was interested in learning new things. She never thought she would be interested in fishing, but she seemed to be casually interested in his favorite activities.

Matthew noticed that Kaylie was obviously enjoying herself. It was nice for him to see that someone had taken a liking to his hobby and was clearly interested in it. He enjoyed his time with her and was impressed by her light-hearted manner, her enthusiasm and, above all, her smile.

After a while, Matthew placed his fishing rod in a rod stand that he had anchored in the ground with his uncle to prepare some new bait. Kaylie practiced a few casts in the meantime. Matthew watched with a little grin on his lips. After only a short time, it looked as if Kaylie wasn't doing it for the first time. He stood next to her.

“Admittedly, I didn't expect that…” he was embarrassed and stroked the back of his neck.

“That?” Kaylie followed up.

“Well, that a wo-” Kaylie interrupted him, “That a woman from the city could fish?” she continued. Kaylie laughed, she took it with humor. Then they both laughed.

'I didn't mean it like that,' he laughed. “But yes, I am surprised,” he added.

“Maybe it's the teacher?” Kaylie was obviously flirting with Matthew for the first time and she liked it. He liked it too, he started to grin. His eyes shone.

''In your case, you're clearly a natural,'' he said with a grin.

They both looked at each other a little sheepishly. There was silence.

Suddenly, Kaylie jerked forward a little. She was startled by the unexpected tug and then stopped.

“YES!” Matthew said enthusiastically.

“Oh, wow!” Kaylie nervously pulled in the string.

“Wait,” Matthew said calmly. He could tell that Kaylie was a little excited and was finding it a little difficult to coordinate everything at once.

Matthew stood behind her. “May I?” he asked carefully before gently touching her elbow and stabilizing and supporting her arm a little with his hand.

Kaylie felt her heart suddenly start to beat faster again at his touch. She was surprised by his touch. Another situation she hadn't expected from him. She grinned broadly. It was a nice feeling and she found it hard to concentrate on fishing.

“Try to stay calm and hold on,” he said in his calm, deep voice.

'Okay,' she replied more quietly.

“Now you can slowly pull in the line”. Kaylie followed his advice. “Don't forget to hold on,” he said quietly and gently corrected her arm. “Like this?” she wanted to make sure.

“Exactly”.

Kaylie slowly but deliberately took a step back. She wanted him to realize that she liked his closeness. Now she stood a little closer to him so that she could feel his upper body against her back.

At that moment, Matthew slowly released his hand from her arm, but remained standing. He wasn't sure for a moment whether she really meant to do this or whether she was just looking for more grip on the sandy ground.

Kaylie looked after his hand, a little disappointed, but then she noticed how his arms gently gained access to the fishing line from behind and he helped her pull in the line with his hand.

Kaylie's lips formed into a broad, happy smile and a feeling of happiness took hold of her. Matthew also enjoyed the moment and felt that he could finally allow closeness again after many years.

Together they easily managed to pull the fish to shore. Matthew let go of Kaylie because he wanted her to have the feeling of success alone.

'Hey, you did it!,' Matthew said enthusiastically.

Kaylie was delighted with her first catch and Matthew's encouragement. She was happier than she had been for a long time and it wasn't just because she had just succeeded, but because of him.

“What do I do now?” she asked him. ''What are you going to do?'' 'I...don't know,' she looked a little humbly at the fish.

“You don't want to do it, do you?” Matthew realized. ''I don't think I can do it,'' she replied. “OK, then…” Matthew carefully removed the fish from the hook and carefully threw it back into the sea.

Kaylie looked at him with shining eyes. He was so understanding and loving. She was glad that he had taken the decision off her hands. Matthew didn't expect Kaylie to kill the fish. She should have fun with it and not feel uncomfortable.

He smiled at her sympathetically and carefully took the fishing rod from her hand. 'We should take a little break,' he said gently.

'That sounds good,' she said, suddenly hugging Matthew. 'Thank you,' she said happily. Matthew was caught off guard by her sudden embrace.

Matthew hugged her gently. He felt drawn to her. He enjoyed the moment, he enjoyed her attention and her loving touch. It was as if Kaylie was sparking something completely new in him. Something that was lost in him years ago...

Previous part: https://www.tumblr.com/linnisims/752989950504468480/lost-in-paradise-chapter-3-sunday-morning-four?source=share

[bisluthq]

Hello, I found you blog this morning after what you said about Harry and Stevie. I love their relationship, and Harry seems to have a lot of support from legends in music, like Paul McCartney was the first person to interview him solo, and I just think that's so cool. I just checked out your "nat talks harry" tag. You can ignore this because it's a topic from 2 years ago. I'm just really interested in Harry's songwriting because he doesn't talk a lot about it. I think he might have a bit of imposter syndrome, especially when it comes to writing. He doesn't give himself enough credit, and casual fans might not be aware of everything his collaborators have said. Annoyingly, Harry doesn't take production credit even though he would be well within his right to take significant credit because if you listen to Harry, you would think he does hardly anything, but listening to his collaborators, they are saying Harry is really producing and he his telling them every note to make. Then you have the songwriting credits which he seems to be very generous with even Tobias Jesso Jr. saying he was completely shocked by the credit because section he contributed is barely on the song because Harry changed it. That being said for people to start giving him credit he needs to put lyrics at the forefront because, although I don't think this way, people think songwriting=lyrics (like the other day I saw two Swifties who I would consider to be pretty intelligent say Aaron Dessner isn't a good songwriter because the lyrics for the national aren't like Taylor’s). So Harry needs to start listening to the songwriters he has worked with him telling him he is an excellent composer and start believing it, and also he needs to stop being so generous with the credit because although they are very minimal to start with people like to inflate the number, saying he has a team of 4, 5, 6 and some even saying 10 people on every song when he actually has 2 like Taylor. Sorry this sounds like a huge Harry stan rant hyping him up for something not there, but Harry Styles as a songwriter is so interesting because it seems like people within the songwriting space are of the opinion that Harry is a great songwriter and really talented, but critics seem to think he sits in the studio and says “write something that sounds like this song”.

I think he absolutely does have bad imposter syndrome and I do think he needs to believe in his songwriting a bit more and take more credit for the production/even the level of engagement he takes in terms of curating collaborators. I said a few days ago that Bey never writes solo and has HUGE teams of collaborators and Swifties for example often use that to shit on Bey but (I’m a big Bey fan) I think what people don’t understand is she changes those collaborators depending on her vision for the album/era (which she very much curates herself). Getting in people who can help you put together what you’ve imagined doesn’t make you less talented, it just means you recognize that this person has something valuable to contribute to what you’re trying to make. She also (and Harry sometimes and I can see him doing it more) finds people who are very much not mainstream and includes them in the process because she likes their stuff and it’s a HUGE opportunity for them but also useful to her because she gets in people who… can help create and execute her vision. That’s also a skill. Harry is good at his job. Aaron D is great at his job and lmao @ Swifties saying he’s not a good songwriter when we KNOW he wrote most of Tay’s folkmore tracks himself and she added in lyrics like they worked together? Her lyrics wouldn’t work without his tracks and fwiw his tracks inspired her lyrics? Bizarre attack on him tbh but Swifties often behave in bizarre ways and say bizarre things lmao.

[lostinthewiind]

Piss Off Your Parents - Part 5

Ukai Keishin - Haikyuu

Synopsis: freshly turned 18, you want to prove to your parents that you aren’t a child for them to push around anymore. First, get a job at the local corner store. Second, use the store owner’s 26-year-old son with piercings and a cigarette addiction to piss your parents off. Third, accidentally fall in love.

Rating: PG13

Warnings: arguing with parents, stereotyping?, reader's parents just being generally horrible people, angst

Song → 18 by Anarbor

Previous → Part 4

Next → Part 6

"This is a horrible idea," you whispered to yourself as you got ready in your bedroom mirror, unable to concentrate for more than five minutes without a small panic attack taking over.

Your eyes flicked over to your clock every few seconds. Keishin was due to arrive at your family house for dinner in about thirty minutes and with every minute that passed, you asked yourself over and over again why you ever agreed to this.

Originally, when your parents had insisted on meeting your 'boyfriend' over a family dinner, your heart had dropped into the pit of your stomach; it was the worst feeling you had ever experienced . . . until you told Keishin about it jokingly and he actually agreed. Never before had you felt so sick to your stomach. Dinner was the last thing you wanted, and to make it worse, it was going to be dinner with your parents and fake boyfriend.

Shit.

More than once you had contemplated pretending to be sick or throwing yourself down the stairs, but you just couldn't go through with it. Every time you got close to backing out, a small part of your brain reminded you that this dinner might be the thing that changed your parents mind, and even though the odds of that actually happening were close to none, you couldn't give up without even trying.

So, with knots in your stomach and your palms sweating like never before, you continued getting ready for the evening and prayed that everything went as smoothly as possible.

If only you had known then that it would take much more than a prayer to save this evening.

When you heard the doorbell ring approximately thirty minutes later, your whole body froze and the thought of jumping out your second story window was starting to sound really appealing. But then, you remembered that it would be way worse if your mom or dad answered the door before you could so you rushed out of your room and down the stairs.

"I've got the door!" you shouted throughout the house, almost as if you were marking the front door as your territory and trying to scare anyone else away from it.

Standing in front of the door, you drew in a few deep, calming breaths before plastering a forced smile across your face and pulling the door open. Let the night of hell begin.

As soon as your eyes settled on Keishin, your smile faltered and you gasped. His dyed blonde hair was slicked back like usual, but instead of a headband, it was clear he had used gel. He had every hole in his ear stuffed with a black earring, and to top things off, he had showed up in jeans, a black t-shirt, and a leather jacket.

"What?" Keishin took a step back and examined his outfit. "You said to go all out. I did."

"I know, I know . . . I just . . ." You took a moment to compose yourself. "I didn't even know you owned a leather jacket."

"Yeah, well, you don't know everything about me," Keishin smirked devilishly, proud that he still had a few secrets to himself. "Well, are you going to let me in? I kind of want to get this dinner over with."

Opening the door wider, you stepped to the side and let Keishin inside your house. "You and me both," you agreed. "You sure you want to do this? We could both make a run for it right now if we act fast."

Shrugging the jacket off of his shoulders, Keishin shook his head. "Come on, at least give your parents a chance to change their minds."

Just then, your father's heavy footsteps could be heard exiting the kitchen and approaching the front door where you and Keishin stood together. Swallowing hard, you wiped the sweat from your palms on your clothes and sent one last pleading thought up to the heavens above, hoping that if there was a great being up there, they could be on your side tonight.

This was it. No turning back now.

"If your boyfriend has arrived, Y/N, please don't keep your mother and I waiting. Introduce us." Your father rounded the corner, stopping in his tracks when he set eyes on Keishin. Sure, you had told your parents all about your 'boyfriend', which was why they had insisted on this dinner in the first place, but Keishin was a man that words couldn't quite capture. "Oh. Hello." Your father reluctantly held out his hand to greet Keishin.

"Hello, sir." Keishin shook your father's hand without hesitation. "I'm Ukai Keishin. Keishin is fine though."

Seconds later, your mother joined the three of you. She had a similar reaction as your father had and was not subtle about it in the least. "So this is the man you've been seeing?" Your mother gave you an almost pleading look, like she was silently begging you to come clean and admit that you were joking.

Right off of the bat, things were not going well.

"Well, let me take your jacket and hang it up in the closet." Your mother stepped toward Keishin with the fakest smile you had ever seen on her face.

"Oh, there's no need." Keishin hung his jacket on the banister of the stairs. "I'll just end up taking it out in a little while anyway when I go out for a smoke. It's easier this way, but thank you."

You watched your mother's eye twitch and the smile she had forced threaten to crack. "You smoke?" You could tell that both of your parents were on the brink of snapping right then and there, but they had promised to actually get to know Keishin, and despite all the horrible things your parents did, breaking promises was not one of them.

"I do." Keishin grinned. "I know, I know, it's not good for me. Y/N tells me to quit all the time so I'm trying."

You let out a nervous chuckle as both your parents turned to face you. "Shall we head into the living room?" You started ushering everyone into the other room, hoping to change the subject as quickly as possible.

"Yes, let's have a seat." Your father nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Keishin, watching him like a hawk. "Can I get you anything to drink, Keishin?"

"Just a water is fine, thanks." Keishin had obviously decided not to push his luck too hard because you had been fully expecting him to ask for a beer.

With that, both your mother and father disappeared into the kitchen; your mother to finish dinner and your father to collect the drinks.

Taking the brief moment of reprieve to breathe, you looked up at Keishin. "I've never seen my parents struggle between their flawless hospitality and kicking someone out of their house so much in my life," you chuckled lightly.

"I'm a bit of a shock." Keishin placed his hand on your lower back and led you toward the couch. "I brought out all the stops in the beginning so they could have the whole night to get used to me."

"How kind of you." You sat down, slightly caught off guard when Keishin sat down right next to you and slung his arm over your shoulders. You were about to ask him what he was doing, but then you remembered that the two of you were supposed to be an actual couple and this is what couples did.

As soon as you felt his touch on you, however, your mind flashed back to that night in the park a few weeks ago. Since then, neither one of you had spoken about what had happened on that bench; a wordless agreement between the two of you that you would just move on and pretend it didn't happen.

But as much as you pretended to forget, you never actually could. The feeling of Keishin's hands on your sides and his warm breath on your lips kept you up at night. As much as you tried not to think of him like that, you just couldn't help yourself.

"You seem really nervous," Keishin leaned closer to you a whispered. "You okay?"

Snapping out of your thoughts, you nodded quickly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Just trying not to freak out is all."

"Hey." Keishin tilted your head toward him so he could look you in your eyes. "You're their daughter. No matter what happens, they will always love you. Remember that."

You flashed a smile. Somehow, Keishin knew exactly what to say to help you relax. "Yeah . . . thanks."

Just then, your father returned with two glasses of water in hand. Handing one each to you and Keishin, you didn't miss the way his gaze settled on the sight of Keishin's arm around you.

"Thank you." Keishin grabbed his glass right away and took a sip. You, on the other hand, let your glass sit on the coaster on the table. Despite how dry your mouth was, you didn't trust your shaky hands to pick up the glass.

"Dinner should be ready soon," your father said as he sat down in his armchair across from you and Keishin. "So, Keishin, tell me about yourself. What do you do for a living?"

"Well, currently, I spend most of my time coaching the boys' volleyball team at Karasuno high school," Keishin answered, his eyes lighting up a little when he spoke about the team he coached; you could tell he really enjoyed it. "And my family owns Sakanoshita Market and I work there sometimes."

"Sakanoshita Market," your father repeated. "That sounds familiar."

You rolled your eyes, not surprised in the slightest that your father had forgotten the name of the place you had been working at for the past few months. "That's where I work, Dad," you told him. "That's how Keishin and I met."

"I see." Your father eyed Keishin and you were surprised that Keishin didn't shrink under the cold, hard gaze like you usually did. "So do you go after all the young women who work at your family store or just my daughter?"

"Dad!" you gasped, unsure whether to tell him off or apologize to Keishin on behalf of your father.

"It's okay," Keishin told you calmly before answering your father's question. "Actually, the store hasn't seen a new employee in years. For the longest time, it was just my mother and me. We are both very grateful for all the hard work Y/N puts in to help us with the store. She is a wonderful employee."

You couldn't help the blush that tinted your cheeks at the compliment. "Thanks."

"No need to thank me. It's the truth," Keishin said before leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to your lips. "And good thing you took the job too, or else we would have never met."

Keishin then shot a sparkling grin your father's way, completely blinding him and distracting him from the shocked expression on your face. You knew you told Keishin to act like the two of you were really a couple, but you never expected him to play the part so thoroughly.

Your father opened his mouth to no doubt interrogate Keishin some more, but before he could, your mother began setting the table and announced that dinner was ready.

Moving over to the table, you took a seat across from Keishin while your parents sat at the ends of the table. As your mother brought the dishes of food over, you took the chance to drink some water and parch your dry throat.

The thought of having to keep this awkward conversation up gave you a headache, but thankfully, Keishin seemed to be handling everything quite well. Just as you had expected, he took everything with a grain of salt and refused to let your parents get under his skin.

You wished you were able to do that.

After the four of you bowed your heads and said thank you for the food, you dug in. At first, everyone was too busy eating to say anything. Somehow, the silence was worse than when your dad had been firing off questions rapid fire.

"This is delicious," Keishin was the first to speak. "Thank you again for inviting me for dinner."

"Yes, o-of course," your mother wavered a little but somehow managed to voice her fake pleasure nonetheless. "Y/N has never dated anyone before so we were curious as to what kind of . . . person . . . had caught her eye."

Keishin nodded, letting the not-so-subtle rude comment roll right off his back. "Well, here I am."

"Yes, here you are indeed," your father muttered under his breath. Thankfully, it didn't seem as though Keishin had heard it, but you certainly had. "So, you said you coach high school volleyball. Is this a long-term thing or?"

Keishin thought for a moment before shrugging. "I'm not sure, honestly. I do enjoy it but I've never given much thought as to if I want to do it long-term. I started coaching because of special circumstances and just haven't stopped yet."

"Well, plenty of people coach and teach," your mother said. "You seem to enjoy working with kids, so have you ever considered becoming a teacher?"

"That doesn't sound like the worst job, but that would require me to have a teaching degree, which I don't have," Keishin responded.

"What degree did you get in university?"

Keishin chuckled. "I didn't go to university."

Oh God. Your jaw dropped and you wished that a black hole could just open up underneath you and suck you in. Out of all the things your parents hated most, people who didn't go to university were at the top of the list. They always told you that 'people who didn't go to university had no interest in investing in their future.'

Hence why they always pushed so hard for you to go the university they wanted so you could study what they thought would be best for you.

You watched your mother's face go red as she reached for her glass of wine a take a particularly large sip. "Community college, then?" she squeaked out.

"Nope, afraid not," Keishin answered, completely unashamed and even proud. "I started working for the family store right after high school."

The looks on your parents' faces that they didn't even try to hide filled you with a deep sense of shame. You didn't know how they could be so blatantly rude to someone they barely knew . . . well, actually, you did know, and that was the worst part. As much as you wished you could deny it, you had thought the same things about Keishin when you had first met him.

Hanging your head in shame, you let the suffocating silence of the dining room take over.

Feeling something brush against your leg, you looked up to see Keishin smiling at you from across the table. 'It's okay' he mouthed to you. You thought back to the time Keishin had told you he was a big boy who could take a little verbal ribbing and exhaled through your nose sharply, your mood lifting ever-so-slightly.

Keishin brushed his foot against your leg a few more times to remind you that you weren't alone at this dinner before he attempted to restart the conversation. "So what do you two do for a living?" he asked, looking to your parents.

"We are both lawyers," your father said.

You nodded and sighed. "Hence why they want me to go to law school."

"Oh, honestly, Y/N, you say that like paying for you to go to law school is abuse." Your mother shook her head disapprovingly. "Do you know how many children would kill for the opportunities you have been given and yet you want to throw them away just like that? You should be grateful."

You were about to retort but stopped yourself before you did, knowing that it would only serve to start the same argument that you had lost over and over again. No matter what you said on the matter, your parents refused to try and see things from your perspective.

It never once occurred to them that you might actually not want to be a lawyer.

"Tell me, Keishin, if you had a child who you could pay for to go to law school and they told you they wanted to pursue their dream of playing soccer, what would you do?" Your father turned to Keishin, suddenly interested in what he had to say on the issue.

"Dad, let's not talk about that now," you spoke softly, hoping to get him to change the subject.

"No, no, let's hear what Keishin has to say." Your father insisted.

Keishin thought for a moment before answering. "Well, I think I would just want my child to be happy," he said, his eyes leaving your father to look at you. "I made the mistake of not following my dreams after high school and I regret it every day, so I would tell my child to follow their dreams and try my hardest to be there to support them."

You smiled wide, surprised by how emotional Keishin's words made you feel. For a moment, it was just you and him, and he was saying everything you had ever wanted to hear. All you ever wanted for was someone to be in your corner . . . someone to support you whether your choice was a mistake or not.

"Congratulations, Y/N, you've found a dreamer just like yourself," your father scoffed, breaking you out of your happy trance. "Too bad dreams don't pay the bills."

"Well, when your future is working at a family-run corner store, dreams are all you have," your mother cackled, not even trying to be quiet about it.

Your father laughed as well. "Too true, honey."

"Mom!" you shouted at her, your anger taking over before you even had the chance to think about your actions.

"It's okay," Keishin told you again, reaching across the table for your hand.

You shook your head and tugged your hand out of his reach. "No, it's not okay!" You rose to your feet, finally having had enough. "This dinner was a terrible idea. I cannot believe you!"

"If you've finally come to your senses, darling, we can send Keishin on his way and-" your mother reached for you as well but you shrugged her off.

"I'm not talking about Keishin! I'm talking about the two of you!" You slammed your hands down onto the table, shaking the dishes of food. "The whole night you have been making offhanded remarks and rude comments about Keishin while he has been nothing but the perfect guest. I'm sorry, Keishin, but I can't sit here and let you take their abuse anymore. I've dealt with it my whole life and I won't let them do the same thing to you. You don't deserve that."

"Y/N, you're being a bit dramatic, don't you think?" your father asked, sipping his wine as if nothing was happening, which only made you angrier.

"No, father, I don't think so," you snapped back. "I think that you and Mom are being horrible and I cannot believe that this is how you're acting when meeting someone for the first time. What makes you think that you have the right to treat someone so poorly just because they don't live the same life or have the same ideals as you? You think you know what is best for me but you don't even know me, so how could you?! I would rather work at the corner store for the rest of my life if it meant being genuinely happy over being a snobby, emotionless lawyer any day."

While you vented in front of your parents, Keishin just stared at you wide-eyed, completely floored by how quickly your demeanor had changed from shy and uncomfortable to enraged and animated in mere seconds. The last time he had seen you like this was when you were going off on him and he was grateful your rage wasn't directed at him this time.

Aside from relieved, Keishin felt proud; proud of you for standing your ground.

An embarrassed look flashed across your mother's face. "Y/N, please-"

"No, just don't," you lowered your voice and took a few deep breaths. "I can't do this anymore. I can't keep pretending that I'm going to put up with your plans for me just so I can have a roof over my head. Mom, Dad, I'm not going to law school. I'm not letting you dictate my life anymore. I'm done."

Stepping away from the table, completely emotionally drained, you looked over your shoulder at Keishin. "Come on, let's go." You waved for him to follow.

Without a word, Keishin stood from the table and followed you to the front door where the two of you grabbed your jackets and got ready to leave.

"If you walk out that door, don't bother coming back!" You heard your father call after you as you left the house, but his threat didn't phase you in the least. If anything, never having to return to that house sounded like bliss right then.

Wrapping your jacket tight around your body to fight the cool evening wind, you sighed. "I'm sorry about that," you told Keishin as he walked silently beside you. "I should never have dragged you into my mess. You don't deserve to be treated the way my parents treated you."

"You don't need to apologize." He wrapped his arm around you once more and held you close, both to comfort you and to keep you warm. "I'm just worried about you. Are you okay?"

You felt tears begin to well in your eyes and frantically wiped them away. "I . . . I don't know," you answered truthfully. "I suppose I should just worry about one thing at a time, and since I've apparently got nowhere to spend the night now . . ."

"You'll spend the night at my place," Keishin stated plainly, not even bothering to ask if you wanted to or not. It was more like an order, but right then, you had nothing against him making decisions for you. As long as the choices weren't made by your parents, you didn't care who they came from.

"Okay," you exhaled. "Thank you."

As the two of you walked through the quiet night in the direction of the store, Keishin pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and lit it. Without thinking, you wrapped your arm around his waist and leaned into him, the warmth he radiated bringing you some semblance of peace.

"I'm sorry tonight went so shit," Keishin spoke as he exhaled, smoke spilling from his lips.

"It's not your fault," you told him. "In fact . . . I don't think tonight could have gone any better. In the end, this is how it was always going to turn out. It's better I realize that sooner rather than later."

Keishin stopped and looked down at you. "That's not-"

"It's okay," you said those two magic words this time. "You remember when you told me that no matter what happened they would always love me because I'm their daughter?"

Keishin nodded.

"I wish you could have been right."

[imadehimspaghetti]

Here is part two to my lil fic

First part here

A/N: I wrote this several years ago when I was 16. It is unfinished and I think I wrote ten parts. I can post the rest if y’all would like. I could also write new stuff too 👉🏼👈🏼

"Trick question."

"Excuse me?" Negan scoffed, I was playing a dangerous game.

"Either you want me to say my real name or say Negan."

His face softened and he let a small laugh escape his lips. "First one."

"Addilyn" **i changed her name halfway through the story

Negan nodded in approval. "And second?"

My eyes shifted quickly to Chris, he was white as a ghost. His eyes gave me no comfort. I looked back at Negan, to once again meet his brown eyes.

"Negan."

His lips formed into a smile as he adjusted Lucille on his shoulder.

"Where do you work?"

"The janitorial department."

"With Chris?"

I nodded, I was beginning to feel sick. Why? God only knows.

"Okay." And with that, he turned around and left the mess hall. The anxiety in the room suddenly vanished, from everyone. Yet it still lingered for me.

"Woah," Chris muttered as he looked at me.

"That has been the closest I've ever been to him," Ava commented.

I took a sip of my water trying to ease myself. "I think I'm going to turn in for the night."

I said my goodbyes and placed my dish in the bucket near the kitchen. I headed to the third floor where Chris's room was. Tonight was my turn to sleep in the bed, and I was glad for it. Despite my anxiety, that overwhelmed me, I managed to fall asleep rather quickly.

"Azrael." A hand was gently shaking my shoulder.

"Okay," I mumbled. I heard the room door open and then shut. It was Chris waking me up for work. I glanced over at the clock and it read 6:40. We had this thing going on that whoever woke first, was to wake the other up. Usually, it was Chris, but there were a few days where I managed to wake up earlier. I got up from my bed and opened my dresser.

Two dressers were in the room, one mine and the other Chris's. Just about everything we had, we had two of. I decided on wearing my favorite blue skinny jeans and just a plain white tank top. With all the points I had been racking up, I managed to gather some pretty decent clothes. Most, however, I had before I came to Sanctuary. I pulled my dark brown hair into a ponytail, completely disregarding the few strands that had fallen from my grip. I sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed my converse. Small holes were visible at the top.

I need new shoes, I thought. I'll make sure to get some after work.

Before leaving the room, I brushed my teeth and made one last look in the mirror.

Acceptable, I thought.

I walked down to the lower floor and into the Janitor's office. Ava was getting the mop from the closet and Chris was with a couple other guys sorting through soaps that we use to wash the clothes and towels. I walked to the white board and looked next to my name. My eyes went wide and mouth went slightly agape.

Bring/collect towels-5th floor.

There were two rooms on the fifth floor. Simon's and Negan's. "Perry?" My eyes didn't leave the white board.

"Yes, hun?”

"Why do I have the fifth floor?"

"Well I would've assigned you elsewhere but Negan requested you, and I am not one to disobey him."

Of course, he fucking did.

I inhaled a deep breath, composing myself. Without another word, I left the room and grudgingly headed to the fifth floor. As I took my last step up the stairs, a fairly lit hallway came to view. On both sides of the hallway was one door. There was a door at the end, with Simon standing before it. He noticed my presence.

Simon took a step forward. "Mine's on the left, I'll let you guess where Negan's is." He chuckled at his own joke.

I made my way into Simon's room where I went straight to the bathroom without looking elsewhere. I gathered his two towels and quickly exited his room. I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible.

I walked over to Simon where he knocked on the door and announced my presence.

"Hey boss, your towel fetcher is here." I mentally rolled my eyes at him.

Simon stepped aside and allowed me to enter. I grasped the doorknob and entered Negan's room.

[mercurysstars]

All That Glitters Is Not Gold (part 6)

Summary: Y/n gets hired to be the avengers chief physician and also happens to be an ex assassin.

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: swearing, the reader getting angry, violence. 

A/N: hope you’re having a better day than Y/n ;)

𝘞𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦

𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥

𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨?

_

Y/n's stomach grumbled as she made her way toward the kitchen. Between getting her room organized and training with Peter for 2 hours she didn't get a chance to eat and it was really catching up with her now. She groaned rubbing her face while she yanked the refrigerator door opened. After searching for several minutes she decided to give up and make a sandwich.

Y/n grabbed the bread and a plate out of a cupboard, she returned to the fridge and pulled out meat, cheese, lettuce, and just as she was about to grab a tomato her phone rang. Without checking the caller ID, Y/n answered, balancing the phone between her ear and shoulder. "Y/n Y/l/n speaking."

"Hey, doc it's Matt we've got kinda a situation here." Matt hesitated, Y/n could hear muffled yelling in the background.

"Okay? What's up?" She was confused it wasn't like him to call out of the blue and it was especially weird for him to not sound sure of himself, he was a lawyer, and lawyers always put on a confident front even if they weren't. Y/n began to cut the tomato into thin slices.

"So I kinda have one of his men tied to a chair in my living room." He blurted out quickly.

Well, that was unexpected "Are you sure it's one of his?" She asked cautiously.

"Yeah I checked, he has the branding. I normally would have just questioned him and texted you but the thing is he only speaks Latin."

She sighed, all Y/n wanted to do was eat 5 sandwiches, snuggle up in her comfortable bed and binge-watch the umbrella academy "Alright put him on the phone."

Y/n heard what sounded like the phone getting set down and the floorboard squeaking under Matt's weight. She heard a bit of wrestling and the sound of tape getting ripped off of something. She heard a quick shuffling and Matt picked the phone back up "Here he is."

"Sumus iens ut satus off facile. cur in New York." She questioned. Y/n started to make her sandwich again. We are going to start off easy. Why are you in New York?

"Im 'non adnuntiant vobis cacas." He hissed. This man was definitely one of his. Y/n rolled her eyes not in the mood for this. I'm not telling you shit.

"Iniuriam. Te volo experior quod iterum?" She purred. Wrong. You want to try that again?

At that moment Bucky decided to wander into the kitchen he heard someone speaking Latin and his curiosity got the better of him. He saw Y/n leaning against the counter talking to someone on the phone. Her eyes snapped up to meet his 'You want one' she mouthed to him nodding toward her sandwich. He shook his head and she shrugged.

The muffled talking through the phone caused an angry tick to Y/n's jaw "Pone super daredevil." She gritted out through clenched teeth. Put daredevil back on.

Y/n had to take a moment to collect herself before she threw something at the wall "Hey I'll be there in a bit." She hung up and when she turned back to Bucky her face softened.

He didn't know what to say, he's never seen someone 180 that quickly in his long life "Quite the conversation you had going on there." He tried to break the silence.

She chuckled nonchalantly "Oh yeah just some idiot that won't do what he was told."

"I didn't know you knew how to speak other languages." He quipped.

Oh Bucky you only know a part of me, I am a universe full of secrets she thinks. "I don't kiss and tell Sarge." She instead said.

Right after the words left her mouth Tony walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Sunshine I've got a meeting so I'm going to have to cancel for tonight."

Y/n's eyes lingered on Bucky for a few seconds then she turned to Tony "Convenient because I have some business in Hell's Kitchen to take care of."

Tony opened his mouth to press further until she added "Don't ask because you don't want to know."

Bucky ever the curious couldn't help himself or keep his mouth shut and blurted "What if I want to know."

Y/n raised an eyebrow at the super-soldier, amused "Would torturing a man until he confesses answer your question?"

She turned and walked out of the kitchen. Bucky's eyes went comically wide "She's joking right?"

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose at her recklessness and shook his head "Stay safe." He yelled back to Y/n.

_

Y/n let herself into Matt's apartment he have given her a key when he moved in. When Y/n was younger her father decided that she needed further training so he hired a blind war vet that specialized in martial arts. There she met Matt they clicked instantly him being only 2 years old, he taught them how to hear things others couldn't smell more things that you wouldn't believe was possible, how to heal faster, and even how to fight without seeing.

Y/n walked down the poorly lit hallway leading to his living room just wanting to get think over with. In the living room, the man had a cloth covering his eyes, hands were tied behind the chair behind his back and each leg was tied to the bottom of the chair. Matt was leaning against the counter already waiting for her arrival, he nodded toward her, acknowledging her presence.

Y/n sauntered over to the man, she lifted up the corner of his shirt and tisked "Mark of Cain, definitely one of his men."

The man began to thrash around hearing her voice, she pulled the eye cover off and smirked "Heu est dere." Hey there hun.

"Pedicabo ego vos bitch." He spat furiously.  fuck you bitch.

Y/n frowned at him "Bene quod suus 'non ut salutaret domina." That's no way to greet a lady.

She stood up and patted his cheek giving him a sickening smile that gave him the chill "Sit scriptor committitur. Cur ipse mittet vobis?" Let's start. Why did he send you?

"Irrumabo." He growled, the man jumped at her but the restraints didn't allow him to get far. Suck my dick.

Annoyance began to trickle down her spine and anger rushed through her body. "ego suadeant vos satus loquentes." She snapped in an angry tone. I suggest you start talking.

"Terrebis me non ex vobis, qui non vis tua boyfriend est vulputate." I'm not scared of you or that want to be superhero boyfriend of yours.

No longer being able to control her anger Y/n grabbed him by his hair and tilted his face up "Take a vultus, vultus diu, et bonum dicitur lets videre tua si adhuc durat." She fumed. Take a look, a good long look, and let's see if your statement still stands.

The man studied her face for several moments before recognition flickered through his eyes "Lamia." He breathed. Lilith.

"Nunc autem dic mihi, quid invenerunt in me pater meus!" She shouted her patience ran out long ago and she didn't hesitate to show it. Now tell me how he found me!

"Cur te et ipsum interrogate." The man taunted. Why don't you go and ask him.

The grip on his hair tightened and she lowered down eye level to him "Ego suadeant tu dicas, quod primus est I. cut off vos erant 'iens ut ne nimis" she pulled out her knife and nodded downward. I suggest you tell me because the first thing I cut off you're not going to like very much.

The man's eyes went wide and he attempted to squeeze his legs together. Fear settled into his stomach, he didn't know if she would keep her promise but he also didn't want to find out.

"Hoc tantum scio, aliquem cum Vindices compositis ei" He squeaked out. All I know is someone at the Avengers compound told him.

She didn't let her shook show, she kept her face cold and calculated even though her heart was beating a million miles per minute. "Si igitur deus, auxilium tu mihi mendacem." So help me God if you're lying.

"Im 'non ego promissionem." He exclaimed and Y/n believed him, she tended to have that effect on people. I'm not I promise.

"O Deus, hes 'iens ut interficias me." He muttered shaking his head. Oh god, he's going to kill me.

The man kept whispering to himself and Y/n grew tired and shoved a sock in his mouth. She stood back up and turned to Matt. "Dump him on 23rd street, my father will take care of him soon enough."

_

Y/n blew on her hot cocoa watching the mini marshmallows swirling around, sure it the middle of September but it was her comfort drink. She tried to go over everyone she knew in the compound. How could she be so dumb? How could she let her guard down? She was trained better than this. It didn't matter now what she did or didn't do, but Y/n knew she wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Y/n could hear the elevator ding from her office and she was confused. All the Avengers were either busy with training or on a mission. She set down her mug on her desk.  A blonde head of hair peaked its head in. "Dr. Y/l/n?"

"Teresa how can I help you?" She questioned. Y/n was confused as to why she was up here Teresa shouldn't even be able to get past the 5th floor.

Teresa stepped closer with her hands behind her back "I got a paper cut stapling some papers together and I came up here for a bandaid."

Teresa was looking everywhere but at her. Y/n could tell she was lying but about what? Then it clicked, how he found out where she was, the weird look she gave her, what Sam said about her sudden move down to the front desk, but then the question struck again. Why was she up- she was up here to kill her.

Teresa lunged at Y/n with the knife she had hidden in her hands behind her back. Y/n went to block but she wasn't quick enough and Teresa cut a long strip down her arm and she hissed, it hurt more than she remembered. Teresa went to slash her again but Y/n grabbed her wrist and twisted causing her to drop the knife.

Y/ n grabbed her mug and smashed it over her head, Teresa staggered backward falling into a bookshelf. Teresa cocked her gun and began to fire, Y/n leaped over the table to take cover behind her desk. Her gun was on the other side of the office strapped underneath a chair. Bullets blew past her body, she shielded her head with her arms, the gun clicked signaling it was out of bullets.

She rolled from under her desk onto her feet. This time Y/n rushed toward Teresa, she threw 2 punches which Teresa both blocked, but the 3rd one Y/n got a hit to her cheek. Teresa attempted to throw a kick but failed, she went down and swept her legs. Y/n fell backward, she rolled onto her hands and shoulder, she pushed up causing her to land right side up, Y/n's movements were a bit slower and staggered due to the blood loss.

Teresa went to hit her but then Y/n grabbed her arm and the back of her neck and smashed Teresa's face into a mirror. With a bloody face, Teresa peeled herself off the wall Y/n collapsed feeling lightheaded. Teresa stood over with her knife ready in hand, she brought her hand up into the air, but Y/n grabbed the from under her chair and shot her right between the eyes. Teresa collapsed backward and the knife slide across the floor.

"FRIDAY Initiate the red button protocol." She coughed out.

"Alerting Avengers now."

Y/n grabbed her arm and hissed, she shouldn't have collapsed this soon, even if it was a cut this big, and the sting was worst too, but then she put it together Teresa would have had a better chance to kill her if she laced the knife with something.

She heard Bucky calling out her name "In here." She chocked out. Bucky rounded the corner to her office and ran in, there were papers scattered everywhere, the desks and chairs knocked over, glass broken. He crouched beside Y/n she was fighting consciousness.

"No Y/n don't you fall asleep on me." He demanded putting her head in his lap.

"It'll be okay Buck." She patted his cheek in a comforting manner.

"No, no, no, hold on they will be here in 30 seconds" He pleaded. That was the last thing Y/n heard before everything went dark.

Part 7

[stargal-07]

Deadly Past

CHAPTER 1

I woke up, the room still dark. I looked over at the clock, and it read "3:46AM". I wasn't really tired anymore, so I decided to just work on some homework until my parents woke up. I checked my phone for the date, and it said " Thursday, December 4th, 2025". I let out an audible sigh. "3 years ago today." I say, no one awake to hear it. Before I can will myself to get out of bed, the tears begin to roll down my face. Soon I'm curled up under the covers, unable to stop myself from crying.

I open my eyes to the sound of the alarm and the slight sunshine coming in through the curtains. "Guess I fell asleep after that." I say to myself. I check the time once again, and it read "6:30AM". I turn off the alarm and head for my closet, the same outfit as always, 3 piled up in a basket, 4 hanging from different hangers. The same outfit, one for each day of the week. I grab one and begin to get dressed. I pick up a bowtie and a skirt, but then put them down. " I just feel neutral today." I say to myself. I go over to my desk and grab my notebooks, computer, and binder and then put them in my school bag.  I also grab my lead pencil, lead container, my headphones, and my phone and I put them into my pocket. I unlock my bedroom door and head out.

I walk down the stairs as the sound of frying gets louder, and I see Parker making pancakes and sausages. Parker, my dad's fiancee, has only been living here for about 3 months, but he quickly grew on me, seeing as we share quite a few interests. He's fairly tall, being 6'1. Although he's only about an inch or two taller than me, both of us are taller than my dad, who stands around 5'9, and we both like to joke about it with him, almost always making my dad laugh. "Good morning Parker, need some help with that?" I say as I sit on the other side of the counter, inhaling the Intoxicating smell of the food. "No, but I could use some help waking up Olive, he's passed out cold at his desk again." He says without looking up from his cooking. "Which desk? The garage, basement, or office one?" I ask. "Office" he says, still not looking away from his cooking. "Got it." I say as I stand up and begin to walk back up the stairs.

Once I'm at the top, I turn left and enter my dad's office. It is but one of three rooms where he stores his stuff. He's a scientist, having made many inventions that greatly benefitted humanity. Although he anonymously gave the government the inventions, he gets paid for every invention of his they sell in stores and such. He has millions stored some place I don't know the whereabouts of.

I tried tapping his shoulder, shaking him gently, but nothing seemed to stir him. Eventually, I just got an air horn and blasted it from the doorway, making him jump and then falling backwards, chair and all.  "Good morning Dad." I say as he stares up at me. "Good morning Alexan-" I cut him off. "Stages." I say, slightly irritated. "Right, Stages, My apologies!" He begins to search for his glasses. "Oh biscuits I could've sworn I left them here... Oh well the goggles will have to do for now." He then grabs a pair of goggles from one of the shelves. "Is Parker cooking breakfast yet? I'm feeling quite famished." He says as his stomach grumbles, as if on cue. "Yes, he's cooking pancakes and sausages." I say. "Ah, well I'll be right down, just give me some time to compose myself. " he says, grabbing a comb to fix the unruly curls of hair sticking out in random places. "Alrighty, I'll be downstairs."

As I walk down the stairs, Parker looks to be finishing up the food, beginning to place it on plates. "I assume it was a struggle to get him to wake up by the sound of the air horn" Parker says jokingly. "Yeah, but he's coming downstairs soon, he's just fixing his hair." I say, as a clatter erupts from upstairs, soon sending a red laser into the ceiling.  "OH BEANS, SORRY ABOUT THAT!" he shouts from upstairs. "IT'S ALRIGHT DAD!" I tell him.

Parker hands me my plate and I take my seat at the table. Olive soon comes down the stairs, his hair still messy but better than before, and apparently having managed to find his glasses. "Good morning sweetheart!" Olive says as he walks towards Parker. "Good morning honey! " Parker says as he and Olive share a kiss. "You have to work today right?" I ask Parker. "Yeah, but I finished most of my work yesterday, so today I should be home in only a few hours, if I'm not given more busywork." Parker says as he and Olive begin sit down at the table. "Anything special happening today?" Parker asks.

I fall silent, not wanting to say what today marks the anniversary of. Olive, taking notice of my silence, says "Today.....isn't the best day for him." Parker glances at Olive. "Why? Why is........oh. Right." A look of realization washing over Parker midway through his sentence. I feel tears begin to form in my eyes but I just sigh. "Yeah." I say, just staring down at my food. "I-I'm sorry, kiddo." Parker says, beginning to cut his pancakes. "It's fine, it hurts but I'll be fine by the end of the day. " I say, taking a bite out of a sausage. "Okay, but remember to carry your medication with you wherever you go, we can't have another incident so close after another." Olive says, already having finished one of his two pancakes. "I know, but remember, it wasn't my fault that happened, the housekeeper just threw away my medicine for no reason" I say, eating a bit of my pancakes. "Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that we had to pay for the housekeepers funeral" Parker says, waving a fork at me. "Why did they even host a funeral? The body was basically a pile of flesh and bone."  I say, continuing to eat my breakfast. "Closed casket funerals exist, idiot." Parker says, getting started on his second pancake. "Enough, you two. It's too early in the morning to be discussing this sort of thing. Stages finish your food and prep your school bag, don't forget to take a shower." Olive says as he takes his now empty dishes and places then in the sink. "Okay, dad." I say as I proceed to finish my food in silence, place my dirty dishes in the sink, and go back upstairs.

I enter my room and close the door behind me, locking it. I throw myself onto the bed, just wanting to take a moment to relax. I pick up the photo on my nightstand and look at it. "We were so happy. We never knew what was going to happen. " I say to myself. I put the picture back and grab my towel.

I step out of my room and head to the bathroom on my right. I enter the bathroom and shut and lock the door. I turn on the water, waiting for it to heat up. I undress and leave my clothes near the door. I then enter the shower, but I don't do anything. I just stand in the shower, proceeding to cry as I slowly sink down to the floor. I quickly compose myself and continue showering. About 15 minutes later, I exit, dry myself, and get redressed. 

I go over to my room and just pick up my bag,  then exit once more. I walk down the stairs and look over at both my parents. "I'm ready to go." I say as I turn to face them properly. "Alright then, Olive go turn on the car please, I'll be right out." Parker says, cleaning off the kitchen table. "Alright, follow me Stages!" Olive says, running out the front door.

I begin to step out, but Parker stops me. "Hey, I made you your lunch today!" Parker says, handing me a brown bag. "I put a little surprise in there to help make your day a little bit better." Parker then walks over and gives me a tight hug. "Thank you, I really need that today." I say. "Of course kiddo. I know today is a bad day already, given it's a reminder of such a horrible tragedy." Parker says, giving me a genuine smile. "Yeah, I-" I'm cut off by the sound of Olive honking the horn. "Oh right, we better get out there." Parker says, running over to the living room and grabbing his laptop. "Yeah, let's go." I say as I walk out.

I open up the backseat of the car and put my bags in. I then slide them over and sit down, putting on my seatbelt afterwards. Parker enters soon after and gives Olive a kiss on the cheek. "Let's go!" Parker says, looking overly enthusiastic. Olive pulls out of the driveway, and were off to school.

The town is about as busy as a bus stop in the middle of the night, people being few and far between, which is strange for a town with a population in the thousands. As I watch the people move by in a blur, I begin to feel something trickle out of my nose. I check, and it's blood. I begin to panic, checking my bag, but then I realize. I forgot my medication.

[chibimyumi]

I'm not in the Black Butler fandom but I've heard an account on this site say the creator(?) Of black butler is a pedophile and homophobic. I'm not sure if it's true or not though. They might just be trying to make the fandom look bad.

Dear Anon,

What makes this fandom look bad is the fandom itself. I am not sure about other fandoms, but the Kuroshitsuji fandom for one is filled with self-righteous, compulsive liars who make up ‘facts’ to legitimise their own ideas.

To answer your question; no, to the best of our knowledge Toboso Yana is NOT a confirmed pedophile, nor homophobic. Of course one might make a case out of how eroticising and fetishising children or homoromanticism/sexuality is a form of pedophilia/homophobia, but that’s an altogether different can of worms which I refuse to touch.

Lending your ask as opportunity, allow me to compose a small FAQ here.

Kuroshitsuji FAQ

1. Was Kuroshitsuji supposed to be a yaoi?

No. The short version of the answer is as such:

Square Enix does not publish any yaoi or explicit content.

Yana already had her own yaoi/BL associated artist name Yanao Rock. It would be very foolish to start a BL-themed manga using her official artist name Toboso Yana which she is trying to keep separate from Yanao Rock.

The rumour of Kuroshitsuji supposed to have been BL only exists in the Western fandom.

The detailed answer can be found here, here and here.

2. Is Sebaciel canon?

No. For the purpose of marketing Yana has neither confirmed nor denied the truth of this statement, because it obviously sells. But if you study the interaction between the characters, it is clear as day that they would not be romantically interested in one another, because 1. Sebastian does not like slavery, or enjoy dating cattle, and 2. O!Ciel is too traumatised. When push came to shove (in the Emerald Witch Arc) he would not even let Sebas near him.

A thorough analysis of their relationship can be found in this post.

Although Yana has said nothing, Editor K, the second highest authority on this series, has confirmed that there is no affection between master and servant.

“【The foundation of Kuroshitsji no. 16】 The butler is a demon and   competent and loyal. However, there is no affection for his   master. [Sebastian] supports his master in his revenge as a butler, but the nature of the contract is one where he will eat the soul after the completion [of the revenge]. The contract is the only reason [Sebastian]  works so hard, he is a perverted gourmet. #Kuroshitsuji”

3. Is it alright to ship Sebaciel because Yana’s material endorses it?

Does Yana’s material casually portraying murder make murder less severe a problem?

An author is human too, even IF an author thinks of something as acceptable, we as readers need to consider what is right or wrong. Most classic literature/media actively promote sexism, racism, etc.; but it does not mean we should follow those ideas. “[Person] does it, so I can do it too” is Trump’s or a 5 year old’s argumentation style.

4. Is Grell Sutcliff a man or a woman?

Grell Sutcliff is a transgender woman. Besides Grell’s own claims, Yana herself too has confirmed her statement in text.

“Ah, but this time after the completion of the script, I had a request to Grell’s actor Mr. Uehara. “Could you please [play her] as a strong woman”, I said (laughs) In the original comics, Grell does not make an appearance between the Red Butler Arc and the Luxury Liner Arc, and therefore people often think she is useless at her job. So I asked [Mr. Uehara] to please portray her as a career woman in front of her kouhai (younger colleague, aka Ronald)” 【Toboso】

Here is an entire Masterpost on gender in Kuroshitsuji, and here a detailed history of how Yana has been owning up for her mistake of portraying Grell in a problematic manner.

4.5 Did Yana not say Grell is male?

Yana has never said and meant that Grell is a man.

Yana did write on her old blog: “yes, Grell is a man, but has the heart of a maiden” (Toboso, 2010).  That however, was the lack of accurate terminology in Japanese for a transgender woman from a decade ago. Transgender studies have developed entirely differently than within Euro-American discourse. As such, holding Yana’s words from 10 years ago accountable as accurate NOW in the English speaking community would be Euro-Americentrist at best.

5. Is O!Ciel’s real name Astre/Noel/Merde?

No, Yana has confirmed that none of the three main characters’ names (Sebastian, O!Ciel and Undertaker) have been revealed yet. And indeed, Undertaker’s name is therefore also not ‘Adrian Crevan’ as has been claimed often times.

Click here for more details.

6. Is the anime canon?

No, the only part Yana had in the anime were the first few episodes of the first season that were directly based on her manga, and the visual designs of some characters. Yana herself does not even seem to like the anime, let alone consider it ‘part of her canon’. Besides, the anime actively DEFIES her canon.

Click here and here for more details.

7. Is the second musical ‘the Most Beautiful Death in the World’ canon?

No, just like the anime, the only part Yana played in this musical is the visual designs of the characters. The characters however, are written by the Kuromyu creative team.

“RT @toboso_official: When I was watching kuromyu・A Thousand Souls, I really thought: “Eric and Alan are characters I could never have created from scratch…” (No offense meant!) I was responsible for the visual designs, but the characters were born from the writing by Ms. Okada, the directing by Fukuyama-sensei, and finally, by the actors.”【Toboso】 

Click here for the mini masterpost on this musical, and to understand how this musical is homophobic, transphobic, pedophilic on top of defying Yana’s canon.

If there are other things that would belong on this FAQ list, feel free to let me know! I hope this helps.

BUT HONESTLY PEOPLE; STOP MAKING UP CLAIMS!!!!!!!! Sometimes we just don’t know things, and it is alright! If your theory does not have confirmation (yet) or is actively defied, WELL, SUCK IT UP!

[gentleoverdrive]

(20/?) The girls. Part #1: 『天照』

A promise is a promise (even if belated); I'll try to show the guitars I use as a composer/songwriter/live and session musician for your enjoyment/amusement/scorn/whatever-emotion-you-get-out-of-this post. ---- Here's the one I play the most: a Larrivée I got back five and a half years ago. The story of how I got it is mildly interesting. So, there's this songwriter friend I have in Europe (he's from Denmark but moved to Bulgaria to be with the woman who would eventually become his wife) and he had a pretty rough 2015, music-business-wise. ---- Things picked up in late 2015 when he snagged an offer to write a jingle. Problem is, though? He had a funky guitar idea in his head and no guitar players he knew could pull off his idea without sounding stupid AF, so in early January 2016, he sent me a message and basically asked me "You can do funk, right?". ---- I said yes. You know, like a liar (I mean, I can play it, but not sure if I can "do" funk). But after he dropbox'd me the files with the notes, I added my contribution with 2 different variations. He liked both and I basically wished him well and we just kept shooting the shit about our favorite metal bands and how it's rude to make fun of AC/DC and so-on. ---- Then in May 2016, he tells me "Dude, the ad campaign didn't happen, but my jingle got picked up!" and he got some sick-ass amount of money, around 60k euros or so. Basically he was on Cloud nine, so he ended up asking me about my slice of the pie. ---- I straight up told him "Dude, all I did was play funky guitar. The rest of the orchestration was all you. I'm just happy you got the gig and some moolah." or something to that effect. At that point I had just purchased my first 7-string guitar which hadn't yet arrived, so I was pretty much just waiting for that, after 6 months of having pre-ordered it. ---- One month later, my mom texts me and says "Hey, there's a package here for you, from your Danish buddy.". I opened it and presto: I have the best guitar I've ever had in my life and I never looked back. If I'm on standard tuning or variations of that with the Digitech Drop pedal, 99% of the time, I'm using this guitar. Down below are the basic features. See you tomorrow, whoever reads/sees this. Enjoy! ---- Name: Amaterasu (or 『天照』; again, I'm a huge dork) Brand & Model: Larrivée RS-2 left-handed. Scale: 25.5 inch (648 mm) Tuning: Standard E A D G B E Weight: Less than 3 kg. Fingerboard: Rosewood Body and Neck: Mahogany Pickups: Larrivée custom-made humbuckers. Everything else? Bells and whistles.

[foliosgirl]

Hey. I had loose thoughts in my mind about Folio as a drum teacher, so I don't know already where this will end (probably in smut, hehe). I'm writing this from Folio's and my perspective.

Let's start with Folio. Enjoy. If you want to be tagged let me know :)

Songs (as an inspiration):

Amber Mark - Mixer

Bad Omens - Malice

Drake feat. Jay-Z - Talk up

Majid Jordan, Naomi Sharon - Waiting for you

Phil Collins - Easy Lover

Zayn - Sweat

Lenny Kravitz - Again

Bad Omens - Just pretend (Live 2024)

Coldplay - Clocks

Thornhill - Nurture

Linkin' Park - Numb

Twenty One Pilots - At the risk of feeling dumb

TD_Nasty, Clara La San - Where u wanna be

Architects - Black lungs

I'll extend this. Maybe :)

Teach me

(Nick)

It's been a sucky time since Noah, the singer of my band suffered from a burn out and nobody knew when it would go on again. Our project Concrete Jungle OST, a soundtrack to our comics, had been released a few days ago.

My cell phone beeped:

"The fans are crazy about your OST album. Some of them like it a lot, but a lot of them don't like it at all. So it's the same as always."

I didn't even read through any comments like that anymore. The message was from our tour manager Matt.

I was exhausted too. It had just been too much lately. Nicholas, our bass player, was the only one who had somehow managed to get through this time reasonably well. Jolly, the guitarist, was already composing new songs after we had canceled our dates in Europe and the UK because he couldn't stand still and do nothing. It was hard for me too, but as a drummer I couldn't write my own songs if I didn't even have a melody. I needed something to do other than spend hours a day improving my drumming. I decided to give drum lessons for the first time in my life. In the garage at my parents' house a few streets away was my current kit and the old one I'd had since childhood. I couldn't part with the old kit. Even today, I sometimes only practiced on the small old kit so that I could play in a more reduced way. Besides, it didn't bother anyone in the garage.

In my own apartment, the neighbors were too close and would never have accepted it. I went to the music school where I was taking drum lessons myself at the time to ask Scott, the head of the school, if I could put up a notice. It said:

"Offering drum lessons for beginners and intermediates ages 6 and up. Nick: +1 323 xxxx xxxx".

It felt good to be back.

"Is Scott in?" I asked the obviously new receptionist.

"Just a moment. What's your name?"

"Nick" I replied a little nervously and looked at the posters on the walls.

"Hey Nick!" Scott said and greeted me with a handshake. "How's it going?"

"That's why I'm here. I need to do something. It's been very stressful over the last few years, but Noah's burnt out and we don't know when we'll continue. Certainly not in the next six months. He has 2 therapy sessions every week and the rest of the time he hardly leaves his bed. But I can't go on making music on my own. I have a big request for you. Can I put this up here? I can make good use of the time now and give lessons in my parents' garage. You probably still don't have enough teachers, do you?"

"I'm sorry about that. Sure, put the note up. No problem. Tracy, could you give Nick some tape so he can put the note up?"

The receptionist handed me the tape and grinned.

I tore off two small strips and read through my note again. Relieved, I exhaled and gave her the tape back.

"Oh Nick, I have a really talented boy who would probably be happy if he could take a few lessons with you. I'll let him know straight away, all right?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll see you soon, Scott. Take care, buddy!"

I closed the door, grabbed my skateboard and headed back home.

After all, I'd been out for about 15 minutes today.

I put on my headphones and played my playlist (Linkin' Park - Numb).

At the intersection, my cell phone vibrated. "How are you? I'm sorry. I can't say it enough. (Noah via iMessage).

I rolled my eyes. He had already apologized 100 times. It was for the best instead of us all breaking up at some point. The mood had been very tense over the last few weeks because we were all just exhausted from touring.

"I'm giving drum lessons soon. Scott already has a student for me. I've just put up a notice. Maybe a few more will join. Otherwise, I hope you get a little better every day. And stop apologizing!"

'Where u wanna be' TD_Nasty, Clara La San

I couldn't listen to it anymore. A favorite song of my ex-girlfriend. Our relationship didn't survive all the touring. I had hardly been home in the last two years, always on the road. I missed her, but it was better that way, even though we had been in a relationship for a very long time. Since high school, 10 years. I skipped the song, no, I even removed it from my playlist for good. Fuck it.

'Architects - Black Lungs'

I put my left leg back on the board and used my right one to continue riding home.

Exhausted, I flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. Netflix and chill. Although it was sunny, I had no motivation to do anything else today.

---

(Stella)

I took my little cousin to music school for bass lessons. My aunt worked a lot and didn't have much time for him, but at least she picked him up from his lessons after work. I couldn't do much with him. He was 13, in the middle of puberty and exhausting. But not because he was loud, just the opposite. He couldn't get a sound out. Even with me, he only talked the bare minimum. Well, bass was probably the most suitable instrument for him. With anything else, he would be more the center of attention and I didn't see him there at all. "Have you got a new drum teacher by now? I'd still like to take lessons." I asked Tracy, the receptionist at the music school. "Unfortunately not, but look, someone put that note up last week. He gives lessons in his garage. He was a really nice guy who also studied with us."

'Offering drum lessons for beginners and intermediates ages 6 and up. Nick: +1 323 xxxx xxxx'.

I took a picture of the note with my mobile.

"Okay, Taylor, have fun."

Wordlessly and at a snail's pace, the teenager walked into the rehearsal room.

I rolled my eyes. "God forbid. I'm done with kids." I let Tracy know. "Until the right one comes along."

"The right one won't come along and I'm already too old."

"At 29?" she asked with a grin. "Thank you," I laughed.

I was already 34. Fucking 34. I was always estimated to be younger, which of course made me happy, but I just wasn't having any luck with men.

I didn't even want to fall in love anymore, my experiences were too bad, I preferred just to have sex without commitment.

It also suited my job as a nurse better. The constant shift work was anything but relationship-friendly.

'Hey Nick, do you still have a slot for a beginner? I'd be delighted. -Stella'

I sent the text message.

The next day I received a reply: 'Hi Stella, sure. When do you have time? Can you come tomorrow at 4pm?'

I looked at my duty roster.

'That fits. Can you send me the address?

I didn't hear back until my shift was over at 3pm the next day.

'Sorry, I hope you can still make it. I'm a bit stressed." This time, the message arrived on WhatsApp with the location stamp from Google Maps.

Now I was stressed too. I hurried home to get something to eat, packed up my dad's sticks and set off on my bike. I arrived in front of a beautiful house just in time. I couldn't miss Nick because he was already shmashing drums. I didn't see a doorbell on the garage, so I decided to call him.

"Stella here. I'm outside the garage."

A good-looking, dark-haired man opened the garage from the inside and invited me in.

"Nick. Nice to meet you. You want to start drumming?" I nodded. He was so damn attractive that it made me nervous and left me speechless at first. His hair was freshly cut and styled back. He was muscular and wore black trousers and a dark red T-shirt. I also noticed his countless tattoos. His left arm was completely full and he had one on his neck, that was all I could see.

I didn't want to come across as weird, so I tried to forget how handsome he looked and started talking.

"Yes, I have to. For my father." "For your father?" he asked, puzzled.

"My father passed away recently. I live in his house now and I'm sure he'd be happy to have his drums used." I smiled. "Oh, I'm sorry about that. Can you read music sheets?" "No. Does it matter?"

He shook his head before answering my question in the negative.

"Okay. What do you know about drums so far?" My eyes drifted to the smaller kit. "May I?"

"That's what you're here for."

I sat down and adjusted the chair. I played everything one by one and told him the names of the drums and cymbals.

-"That's right. Can you play anything yet?" I grinned and played the simplest things I could. I was amazed myself that I hadn't forgotten how to do them.

"Good, what do you want to achieve?"

What did I want to achieve? "I want to get better." "We can do better," he smiled and sat down at the other kit

---

(Nick)

In the meantime, I had just accepted my 5th student. Another beginner, or rather my first female student. I decided not to take on any more new students. It was incredibly stressful and the mother of the boy Scott had referred to me was incredibly annoying and always pushed him so hard that I had to control myself not to freak out.

Stella, my new student, didn't seem to be a teenager anymore. At least that's not how her message read. I liked the Italian name. It reminded me directly of my partly Italian-born family.

I listened to my band's song 'Malice'.

'No matter how long it takes. I'm going to practice 'Malice' again and destroy everything on the next tour. Anyone against us including Malice in the set again?

I wrote in the group chat of our band. Somehow I missed the guys. Hanging out together almost every day after such a long time and getting on each other's nerves, but also growing closer together and now not seeing each other for an indefinite period of time was extremely strange. In general, it was strange to be alone so much, to no longer have a relationship, even though we had all the time in the world to have this relationship now, but it was too late.

I still had our photo as a lock screen. I hardly noticed it anymore.

I played 'Malice' for the first time in many years. It sounded like shit.

I was too slow on the double bass pedal and it annoyed me. I had forgotten the time, because when I sat down at the drums, time flew by. I was very ambitious to get better at it. Stella, my new student, called to say she was outside my garage. I opened the garage door and in front of me stood a slim woman with dark hair and a plunging neckline. Her large breasts immediately caught my eye and I couldn't tell if they were real. They distracted me. I hoped she didn't notice my gaze and was covering up the fact that...fuck, she's your student!

She seemed to be a few years older than me. A strange feeling that I should be teaching someone grown up among the children and teenagers, but certainly exciting. She looked at me shyly through her green eyes as I introduced myself and I asked if she wanted to start drumming. Such a stupid question. Why else was she here?

I took the opportunity to look unobtrusively at her ass as she adjusted her chair in front of the kit.

Fuck, this was never going to go well. I liked her, but she was my fucking student.

[lovemalecforever]

Chapter 4

Confrontations and Truths

It was almost 5:30, the dusk was setting in as Alec walked out of his office, mumbling something under his breath. He looked around to find a taxi which he got after 5 minutes, then got in and left for Catarina's house.

*At Catarina's apartment*

Catarina was pacing in her living room, glancing at the clock again and again. Her worries were deepening with each passing second when her doorbell rang. Sighing, she waved her hands and opened the door.

Alec walked inside and gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry, Cat! I'm.... 15 minutes late." He said while hugging her gently.

"That's not what I'm concerned about Alec, you asked me to meet you urgently and not tell Magnus about our meeting at all, what's going on!?"

He was about to answer when a soft voice echoed the whole house.

"Aallleeecccc!"

Madzie came running down the hall and hugged Alec's leg who was around Alec's waist height now. She was growing faster and learned a lot in all these years. Catarina had officially adopted her, and they formed a really great bond over the course of years.

A wide smile appeared on Alec's face as he bent down to her height and gave her a tight hug. "Hey, sweet pea!"

"Magnus didn't come?" She asked in a sad voice.

"No, sweet pea, I had some important work with your mom, that's why I came. We'll surely come soon to meet you, okay?"

"Okay!" she said enthusiastically, her sadness completely gone.

"Hey Mads! Go to your room sweetheart, we have some important work to discuss." Catarina said to her softly but a slight tone of worry was visible in her voice.

"Okay mommy, bye Alecc!"

"Bye, sweet pea!"

After she left, Catarina sighed, crossed her arms above her chest, and glared at Alec. "Alec! Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Cat! Calm down, can we please sit and talk?"

Catarina sighed yet again. They walked towards her mini balcony where there was a coffee table with two wooden chairs placed around it. She waved her hands and summoned a hot coffee for herself and hot chocolate with marshmallows for Alec.

"Thank you!" Alec said as he sat down on the chair.

Catarina was still looking at him firmly.

"So, to answer your question, Magnus is not fine."

"What!? Alec! What happened to him, has his powers-"

"Cat! Cat! Calm down! There's nothing wrong with him. He's completely fine, he's just not fine emotionally."

"Emotionally!?"

"Look, Cat, it's our anniversary in 6 days, I want to do something for him for which I'll be needing the help of a warlock, and I obviously can't take Magnus' help, so that's why I wanted to meet you."

Catarina let out a breath of relief, which she didn't know was holding. "Alec, I'm still confused, how is Magnus' mental health and your surprise plan related?"

Alec took a deep breath and composed himself before speaking. "You're aware of the biggest attack that happened in Alicante about a month ago, which almost resulted in war?"

"Yes, Alec, I obviously am, that's the reason I'm in Alicante. They needed the powerful warlocks from around the globe to fix the broken wards, you know it really well those are no ordinary wards. But, what about it?" a frown appeared on her forehead, not understanding where this was headed.

"Well, in that attack, I was in the field and Magnus was also called. It was not a small attack so they called everyone that can fight that battle. We both were on the field fighting side by side, but..." Alec cleared his throat, his eyes starting to flood with tears with those memories.

"Alec?" Catarina asked softly.

Alec closed his eyes and a teardrop fell on his cheek. "I... I almost died in that battle."

"What!?" Catarina's eyes went wide. "Oh my god! Alec... why nobody told me about this!? Why am I hearing about it now?"

"You were at the Spiral Labyrinth, Cat. We wouldn't be able to contact you even if we wanted. And, you know Magnus, he hates talking about things like these."

Catarina sighed and gave a slow nod.

"Anyways, I was in a coma for 10 days. My recovery was really slow, but I recovered. I knew Magnus was by my side the whole time, I was able to hear him, hear everything happening beside me, I heard him crying, begging me to wake up, to not leave him this soon, that... he won't be able to live without me, he cried on my arms, didn't sleep for a day!" He paused as tears kept running down his face.

Catarina gently squeezed his arms.

"When I recovered and went back home, he didn't allow me to go back to work for days. I had to convince him, remind him that I'm an inquisitor, I don't have that much fieldwork now, but... he never was able to get over it." He took a deep breath and continued.

"He told me he was fine, but I know he's not Cat! He still cries at night, thinking I'm asleep and not hearing him. whenever I've come home early, I've heard him crying, saying things like... like I'll die someday in a battle or I'll grow old one day and die and leave him forever. But I've always ignored it, knowing that I won't be able to comfort him no matter how hard I try to. And also, because he thinks he's hiding from me. If I confront him, he'll become defensive and more secretive, he'll push me away."

He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Catarina reached out and gave his shoulder a light squeeze. When he opened his eyes, tears were shining brightly in them.

"I... I can't see him like that, Cat! He had a past full of pain, he had been in and out of relationships, had bad ones like Camille. You know all about it better than me, I know he's scared that I'll grow old one day and die. My mortality is scaring him, I love him and I'm worried about him."

"Oh my! Alec... I can't believe Magnus didn't say a word to me. But how can I help you with this?"

"I... Is... I... I... Is...."

"Alec!?" Catarina frowned, her mind going only in one direction with Alec's confrontation.

"I want to become immortal!" He announced.

At first, Catarina's eyes went wide, but then a light smile appeared on her face. "Look, Alec, I'm happy to see the love you have for Magnus, but becoming immortal-"

"It's not just for Magnus, Cat! I'm doing it for myself as well. I want to be with Magnus forever. I can't think of being apart from him even for a day, and, about watching my whole family dying in front of my eyes, with Magnus being by my side, I know I'll handle it!"

Catarina was so awestruck by his determination. 'Magnus is really lucky to have Alec, I'm so happy for you Magnus Bane!' she thought. "But there's one more problem, Alec, you have pure angel blood running in your veins, if you want to become immortal-"

"You think I came without homework, Cat!?" He took out a piece of paper from his pants pocket and kept it on the table. She took it and carefully opened it but then her eyes went wide.

"Wha... Alec, from where did you get this?"

"I was looking through the history of Shadowhunters and Immortals when I got this. The only thing I got to know this far is that," he pointed at the sketch on paper, "his name was Kasper Windermere, the first Shadowhunter to become immortal, half angel and half Shadowhunter, he became half-angel through a spell, but I'm not able to find the rest of it."

Catarina's eyes were wide. Noticing that, Alec took her hand in his catching her attention.

"Look, Cat, I want to become immortal, but Shadowhunting is my life, my career, it's what I've taught since childhood, I can't just give up on it. And I know I'll regret if I become immortal by using demon blood, you all know me. So that's the only option I have. Please, help me Cat!"

She couldn't help but give a wide smile at Alec.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You know, Magnus has been my best friend for centuries, I've seen him falling in and out of love, being with people, caring for them, and getting heartbroken but I've never seen anyone caring for Magnus the way you do. Magnus is really lucky to have you in his life. I'm really happy for both of you."

Alec's cheeks flushed red at this. "Thank you, Cat!"

"But for what you want, we need to search in every place possible. We can start with Book of White; Magnus gave it to me to keep it safe, I'll bring it."

"Okay, let's do it."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

* A Few hours later*

"There's only a small part of the spell mentioned in it, Alec." Catarina rubbed her temples as she turned the book towards Alec. They searched for hours but were only able to find a few details.

"Hmm... but that means it's possible right? We just need to find the rest of it." He was really happy with their findings.

"Alec, are you really sure? There's little mention of it, and... it's written there that it has consequences, that's why it's removed."

"What consequences?" He frowned.

"This spell is irreversible, so you can never turn back to mortal ever again and the only means that can kill you is.... is your own will, as an angel you'll only die when you desire to be."

"How is the other one a consequence?" He asked, confused.

"Alec, no one desires to die, and there's no mention whether Kasper Windermere is alive or dead."

"I don't see any problem with any of the above!"

Catarina sighed. "You are so determined, aren't you?"

"Cat, I can't see Magnus like this anymore. With our anniversary coming, I want to surprise him in the best way possible. I want our anniversary to be about him, his happiness, and I know he'll be happy, so yes, I'm determined to do anything which will make him happy. I'll look for more information tomorrow at Gard's library."

Catarina grinned then out of nowhere, giving him a tight hug. "Magnus Bane is a hell of a lucky man!"

Alec pulled out of the hug but then his eyes fell on his watch, it was 10:30. "Shit! Oh, no! Shit! Shit!"

"Alec, what happened?"

"We planned a dinner at 7 today and it's 10:30, Magnus is going to kill me, I need to run!" He said in a hurried tone.

Catarina laughed and shook her head. "Go, get your husband Alec!"

"Bye, Cat!" With that, Alec rushed out of Catarina's house.

__________________________

Magnus was pacing in their living room, eyeing the cold food kept at the kitchen counter and at the clock alternatively. It was almost 10:45. His eyes were filled with the pool of tears that were ready to shed at any moment.

'Where are you, Alexander? You promised you'd make it for dinner.' He sighed and started pacing again when a sudden thought struck him. 'Is... Is he all right? Did something happen to him? Did he go for the hunt? No, No! But he should be home by now then!'

He was about to change into his regular clothes to go out in search of him when he heard the jingle of keys and the door opened making him let out a breath of relief.

Alec walked in and noticed that Magnus was standing in the center of the living room with worry-filled eyes. 'Shit! I'm screwed' he thought then cleared his throat before speaking.

"I'm sorry, Magnus, I... Umm... I...." He kept shuffling in his place, unable to meet the eyes with his husband's.

"Where were you, Alexander?" Magnus almost choked on his words.

Alec noticed this, 'he was crying again, shit! I'm sorry Mags. Just a few more days and you never have to worry about it ever again' he thought.

"I... I was actually with Izzy; she was at the meeting too... I met her after a long time, so after we were both done with our work and meetings we decided to meet for a coffee. We met and started chatting and didn't realize the time. I'm sorry Mags! I should've texted you, I forgot, I'm really sorry." He said half truthfully, Izzy was at the meeting, but she was in a hurry so they only talked for 5 minutes, then she left but she's still in Alicante.

He then took out the flower bouquet he was hiding the whole time, with a sorry card placed on top of it. "I hope this will make up for it, I'm so sorry Magnus!"

Magnus was completely on the verge of crying right now, he was trying to hold his tears back, as he kept glancing between the bouquet and his husband. 'I missed my chance again, how am I supposed to say anything when you keep doing things like this' he thought, unable to keep his tears back he started crying.

"Magnus!?" Alec kept the bouquet on the couch then hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry Magnus, I'm sorry!" 'I know why you're crying Magnus, please don't be scared love, just a few more days!'

Magnus cried on Alec's shoulders, holding his jacket in his fists tightly. 'how am I supposed to tell you, Alexander, how am I supposed to tell you that... that I want to end our marriage, that I want to end us. I can't take it anymore, thinking that you'll be gone forever someday, and I, I'll have to live with those memories. I can't create more memories with you, Alexander. What happened a month ago had hurt me in ways you can't imagine. I can't do this anymore, the more I'll be with you, the more it'll hurt me when you'll be gone. I won't be able to bear that pain, I have to end us, I need to end us, but how am I even going to say it, when you keep showering me with your love' he cried harder on his shoulders.

[kuronanox]

Jazz lies - Shinji Hirako

It would be wrong to say that (Your Name) was having fun at this jazz bar that a few coworkers wanted to check out, but it definitely wasn't a place she would call fun.

Out of courtesy of some of the artists at the bar they decided to stay for about an hour and half listening to the music.

"Excuse me miss the lovely gentlemen over there bought you a nice drink." One of the bartenders told (Your Name) setting the nicely made drink in front of her.

She looked at the man who bought her the drink, he had weird teeth and a grin on his face. His hair was a bit long and girly for her taste.

By the time the performance was over (Your Name) and her coworkers got up to exit the bar. She didn't touch the drink once. The whole time it sat in front of her as the man with the weird smile stared at her most of the night.

"Awe yer really left a man hanging!" Shinji jokes as he leans against the door watching her exit.

"Sorry I don't take drinks from strangers." She responds blandly not looking at him in the eye.

Shinji just chuckles and walks out after her side by side, as a few of her coworkers were a bit ahead of them.

"Can't a man try?"

"I've seen better." (Your Name) awkwardly says looking him up and down and then straight ahead to avoid eye contact.

"Damn girls these days sure are harsh." He says with hands in his pockets. "Yer new to town?" He proceeds.

"No, just checking the place out."

"Ahh! So you will come around more often?" Shinji pipes up excited to see her more since jazz bar tended to be on the older side of age.

"Nah, Jazz isn't my vibe."

"Ouch, I thought you were cute too."

"I'm sorry but who are you?" (Your Name) stops walking and looks at Shinji with slight irritation. "Isn't it weird to talk to a man I don't even know the name of?"

"It's Shinji and this man is trying to make a friendly conversation with a cute girl."

A feeling of guilt build in her because he was rather nice the whole time, but it was always good to be defensive just in case he was a real weirdo.

"(Your Name)." She says and continues "sorry I'm just being cautious, there are a lot of sick people out there."

Shinji sighs and rolls his eyes. "It's okay baby doll I've seen sick people in my life time and I ain't one of em."

(Your Name) just smiles, she was still being careful though because he was still a stranger, but it was good to converse with someone new once in a while.

"So I'll let you go now only if I get yer number!" He grins noticing the hesitation in her eyes. "Don't worry, if you don't wanna talk to me anymore after this just don't respond to me." He assured the girl as she willingly gave her digits.

"I'll see you around." (Your Name) says bidding a farewell catching up with her coworkers.

(Your Name) couldn't help but be a bit interesting in this Shinji man because he was a sweet heart. Shinji was being a hopeless romance, but she couldn't tell if he was being over dramatic or if he was foreal.

He told her she was his 'first love' but she knew he was probably joking.

Although they didn't meet a second time they spend a few weeks sending text messages to each other. (Your Name) thought he was going to be pushy and ask her out again, but to her surprise he didn't.

Shinji genuinely was interested in her.

"Why the hell you keep smiling at your phone like a idiot baldy?" Hiyori says peaking over him curious who Shinji had been texting the last few weeks. "AHH!" She screams and snatched the phone reading a loud.

Shinji - "Good morning baby doll, how was yer day?"

"HIYORI STOP OR ILL-!" Shinji screams chasing the smaller girl as the other visords attention grew to them.

(Your Name) - "Good morning! It's been nice! I've just been cleaning my place. What about you Shinji?"

Shinji - "I'm glad you had a good day <3 I went to the store to get the newest record."

"Like I said Hiyori it's no one!" He continues as she kicks him in the face and continues to read out loud.

Shinji - "Shopping alone ain't fun, when yer going to join? I'll pay for dinner!"

(Your Name) - "is this a lame way of asking me out to eat lmao?"

Shinji snatches the phone back with red tints on his cheeks as Hiyori laughs on the floor. "Shut up will ya!"

"Oi Shinji, my books will come in handy if she decides to go out with you." Lisa seriously says flipping her book the couch.

"Hate to admit it but she's right." Kensei butts in getting ready for dinner.

"Oh shut up." Shinji says embarrassed as he walks into his room and slams the door.

To Shinji luck (Your Name) agreed to go eat with him for dinner a week after he asked her. Although it was their second time meeting the atmosphere was smooth and easy.

"Yeah! I graduated college a year ago and I work at the hospital in town!" She tells Shinji passionate about saving life's everyday. "What about you Shinji?"

Shinji was sweating because he didn't actually work. So he tightly gripped his knife and put the steak in his mouth as he smoothly played it off. "I work at a company, top secret for the government only." He winked.

"Kami I'm safe, being dead actually is inconvenient."

(Your Name) face lit up as she took a bite of her wagyu. "Nice! Never thought I'd meet someone so high in status."

"Yer not missing much baby doll, I live ina abandon warehouse actually."

Shinji grins as they take a toast together and enjoyed the view of Tokyo below them.

"So what are your future plans?" She then asks Shinji as he tilts his head.

"Oooh we already wanna start thinking about the future together?" He jokes as she laughs and playfully roll her eyes. Which for (Your Name) was good because it lighten the mood.

After dinner was finished and Shinji paid they walk down the busy streets of Tokyo admiring the views. "Isn't it pretty?" (Your Name) asked Shinji as they walked side by side with linked arms. "What? My face? Oh I know!"

"No dummy the lights of Tokyo!" She lightly flicked his forehead as he shuts his eyes tight.

"Yeah, one day I'll show you the view of Tokyo at a better place, maybe." He tells her as she happily nods her head eagerly.

The night was getting late as she grew tired but the city was still awake. "I'll see you off then? Please get home safe baby doll."

"I will! Maybe we can go out again later!"

"Of course I'll really like that." Shinji grins as she walks down her path towards home. Watching from afar Shinji shunpo to see if she got back in the house safely and after he left.

"Spill the beans how could anyone possibly like you baldy?" Hiyori asked one night as they all sat around.

"Oh shut up! I'm pretty handsome!"

"More like a hand full." Kensei added.

"That's Mashiro who is." Shinji bites back as Kensei could only agree to that statement.

"Young love, can't wait to see what the future holds for you." Rose says.

Shinji just left to his room after that, they were giving him a headache. He laid onto his bed and closed his eyes. (Your Name) was pretty, kind and mature. She had a future ahead of her, but Shinji was living in a dump with lots of roommates and plus he was basically a soul.

Shinji was surprise she stuck around as long as she did. They had went on many dates after that and he successfully earned a kiss on the 5th date.

The only problem for Shinji was the fact that he basically lied about his whole life to her, he wasn't sure if it was right to tell her the truth or wait it out.

It wasn't until 6 months into their relationship that the problem he feared worse appeared.

They had left the bar shortly after midnight, Shinji was walking her back safely to the train station, and then he would secretly watch her go home to make sure she was safe, but a drunken man had appeared from a ally way.

The drunken man was causing a problem for (Your Name) as he said some rather vulgar remarks. Shinji was a laid back man as he told the drunken man to beat it and go cat call someone else.

"Yer really pushin my buttons." Shinji tells the drunken man giving him a glare and lightly grabbing (Your Name) to safety behind him.

The drunken man crossed the line when he tried to grabbed (Your Name) shoulder as Shinji puts his foot onto his chest not allowing him to come any closer.

Before they could walk away the sound of a gun click appeared as Shinji pushed (Your Name) out of the way.

"I don't hurt humans but it seems like you want to harm someone precious to me. I don't mind being naughty just for this special occasion." Shinji grins calm and composed as he stopped the bullets from flying between his fingers.

(Your Name) was in panic mood at first because they were at gun point and then second Shinji was using some unknown godly powers to her.

"Don't worry baby doll, yer safe with me." Shinji says disappearing from her sight as he grabbed the gun from the man and broke it in pieces with his bare hands. "Don't play with toys sir, I've seen scarier!"

Of course the man got terrified and ran away scared for his life. "See ya!" Shinji calls out.

(Your Name) watched from her spot unsure what to be afraid of.

The man who was about to possibly rape her or Shinji who was lying about his identity the whole time. The tears grew in her face because of how frighten she was.

"What's wrong bab-"

"Stop, don't get any closer." She tells him as Shinji sees the water in her eyes. She looked terrified and hurt. "I can explain to you about all this."

"Explain what? That you've been lying about yourself the whole time? What are you? Some kind of god?"

Shinji knits his brows and grabs her hand lightly but she pulled away. "No. I'm going home alone tonight. I'll talk to you when I'm ready."

"I'm not letting ya walk home this late alone." He tells her as she protested but by a flash of a step they were back at her place as he set her down lightly.

"Talk to me when you are ready, I'll be waiting." Shinji says as she looks away from him obviously surprised on how they got home so fast.

"Whatever, thanks for tonight." She slightly says in a forgiving tone as she walked into her place.

He didn't hear from her in weeks, it was only 6 months together and during that period of time he felt happy and light. He didn't think about Aizen or any ill thoughts when he was with her.

Shinji knew it wasn't going to work out, they were so different and so far from each other's world yet he wanted so bad to make it work.

"Is this the common word to say that I got ghosted?" He sulks in the corner as his phone rings to see a message from (Your Name).

(Your Name) - "Meet me at the bar we first met."

Shinji walks in and spots her sitting alone but beautifully shining. She notices him and gives a small smile.

"Alright get it to it, if you wanna call me a freak I understand." He says.

"No one is calling you a freak, I just want an explanation. I had time to think and I'm sorry for the way I acted. I was scared and confused."

He takes her hands and grins. "Of course baby."

The music started to play as the bartender served them a couple of drinks.

"Just please let me finish before you ask any question. Basically you are dating a dead man, I'm from the world where souls live and we have powers that protect and balance the living and dead. Remember when we were talking about how sick people can be? Well there was a guy that got me and few of my comrades exile from the Soul Society and that is how I ended up here."

(Your Name) had to process everything, it was so unreal. At the same time she was curious and slightly interested about another world out there. Of course she wanted to be angry at him for lying about his identity, but she understood from his perspective.

"Well that was a lot to take in, you must be serious about me if you told me all this."

"100% percent, I ain't leaving soon." He sips his wine now.

(Your Name) smiles and then looks down.

"Just don't lie to me anymore. Keep everything real."

"I won't. At the mean time, I'm glad we had this talk so now I can finally use my godly powers as you say." He grabs her hands as they run out the bar.

Stumbling a bit she grips his hand tightly and follows. "Where are we going?!"

"You will see!" He shouts as Shinji hoisted her and lifts them up to the sky.

The view from Tokyo was below them and this time she could see everything.

"How?! This is so beautiful!"

Shinji was happy, although they haven't talked serious yet, he was willing to give it time and effort.

"Remember I told you I would show you a better view. Well here it is!"

(Your Name) was overwhelmed with happiness as she clung onto him. It was weird for her because they were basically standing in midair.

"We won't fall right?"

"Nah just relax I got you."

The night came to an end in a positive way as both parties understood each other and why things were the way they were. Shinji had a sense of relief because he didn't have to hide anymore.

They laid in bed at her place, god forbid he brought her back to his.

The night was cold but the room was warm, they laid peacefully and in each other arms.

(Your Name) would make sure in the future to talk about their relationship because it was a complicated subject. A human and soul together as a couple.

Everyone always says it doesn't hurt to try something new so that's what she was taking this as but genuinely she wanted to brag about how strong and cool her boyfriend was but that was for another time.

For now they both just want to cherish the easy and smooth moments together before anything complicated comes up.

"So our next challenge is to meet my peeps." He tells her as she groans.

"Are they weird like you?"

"Oh baby doll, we are a mix of hip and style."

(Author notes: Heya! I'm taking request at the moment! I'll be on vacation so I might have some time to write a few pieces! The rules are telling me a character and a general plot on what you want the story to be! Also none of my one shots have been edited.)

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Heavy task' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Heavy task"

Chapter Summary : After an troubling memory, Yirina is meeting Park's friends that will compose their team

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3300

-----------------------------

I can say that Park really make an good team by choosing her friends and frankly, the fact that we are only four is pleasing me by a lot. I don't like to be surrounded by too much people in such a place like this and if those people aren't friendly with me, I'm able to quickly freak out, leave the hell out of here and never coming back. Hopefully for me, Park's friends seems to appreciate me and I appreciate them back too. They're very cool to talk with and even if Greta is Park ex-lover, I have a good feeling about her.

Once Garrett and Greta got themselves installed in their respectives rooms, they came back in the living room for the briefing I have prepared with Park as she asked for me to help with that. Of course, we had to explain everything that happened in just one month : the raid on the first warehouse that was my first mission after I was back, the Nightclub's events, the quick rescue of Park from Perseus's hands, our track about the buyers in New Orleans for us & Irak for the others and to finish, what happened in that mall two days ago in New Jersey.

They were quite amazed of hearing about all of this, that happened in just one little month as apparently, missions against Perseus weren't so common in the beginning of the year, meaning that with my return, we have taken a new speed against Perseus.....or it was him who did this. When the briefing was done, we spent the rest of the day to try to find something new again in the archive room of the house that Park presented to me last day : it was more like an office with tons of cardbox, books and papers. We searched for anything about the warehouse that we were going to scout & strike but nothing on it, let's say that we can thanks the MI5 for learning about it because we would have nothing if they weren't here.

Like we planned at the evening, it was time for us to go to the warehouse for our mission. It was located in the Schmargendorf district of West-Berlin, almost at the center of the city and it took us more than 20 minutes to get positioned near a safe place near the warehouse for our little scouting. For that part of the mission, we decided to split up in two teams as we used two cars for that : I decided myself to team up with Greta, letting Park with Garrett, knowing that everything will be fine.

Each team were positioned at the opposite side of the warehouse, me & Greta at the north of it, Park & Garett at the south of it. We stayed in our car that we parked on a parking, having have a big view on one of the warehouse garage door. The building wasn't big enough but it was large enough to have guns and intels inside.

"Anything on your side ?" It was Garett's voice speaking through the radio we brought in to communicate of any events from each side 38 minutes after our last communication. It was 8:38 PM "Nothing here for the moment."

"We can say the same here." Greta was the one to reply at the radio, keeping her eyes on the entrance we were watching. She was sit in the passenger seat as I was the one who drive the car, having my hands on the wheel.

"Just got some unusuals civilians staying near the door." I added, looking at two mens that was like guarding the door from intruders....very suspicious...."Guess you have the same thing to your side..."

"Yes, got three men in here." Park told us, revealing that this warehouse was used by Stone as a building like that can't be guarded like that. "We will keep you in touch for anything new."

"Sounds good, over." Greta said as the radio went off, leaving only us in the car alone, watching the warehouse.

"Now, we have to wait." I exclaimed, tapping the wheel with my two index fingers, almost looking a little bit nervous, like a way to destress.

"You're looking quite nervous." Greta guessed, having seen me doing those taps on the wheel as she redressed herself on her seat.

"Just an way to calm myself down." I explained to her, stopping my moves to look at her for an second before getting my eyes back on the entrance.

"Can I ask you something, Yirina ?" Her question make me look back at her, curious of what she want with me, so I nodded to her. "You said that Bell was not longer your name, why ?" I never thought of that question from her as I thought she will ask for me about how I know Park well...

"Let's just say that I had an disagreement with the CIA." I replied, releasing a little breath from my mouth.

"Really ? But I thought that you're working with the MI6 ?" She continued to ask, thinking that there were something anormal with me....and that was the case.

"Bell....well, it's a name I gained by the CIA but I never really liked it so when I stopped working alongside the CIA, I stop using that name." I added from my response, giving my thoughs on 'Bell'.....the woman that I was before and still in me.  "It's not something I'm proud to have used that name."

"Park said you have defected in 1981, is that right ?" I nodded to her, she seems very curious with me. "And then, you worked in the MI6 for three years and I never heard of you."

"Well, I preferred to work alone, in the shadows if you know what I mean....." I started to said, raising an eyebrow to her. "Can I say that you're a very curious with me, Greta ?" I asked her back.

"For me, you're a very mysterious woman, Yirina Grigoriev." She responded, looking at me with an smile, almost sounding in a seducing voice. "Mysterious &....very pretty."

"Uhm...thanks you." I said, almost troubled to have this remark to me outside from Park. I tried to look away from her, focusing back on the entrance.

"Hm, it's very hot in that car." She started to said and for me, it was pretty strange.

"You're kidding ?" I scoffed "It's freezing in here and outside too." I added, giving me just chills by talking about cold, moving my hands together to blow some heat inside of them with my mouth.

"Don't know, must be something in the car doing that to me." She told me as I gave one quick look to discover her having removing her top button of her shirt and unzipping her jacket...giving me a lovely look.....what did I got myself into ?....."Must be....also someone..."

"Uhmm..." I breathed, embarassed suddenly to be here now with her, she is an great friend but...it's all weird now....

"Yirina, Greta, can you hear us ?" Park's voice came from the radio and thanksfully, it actually saved me from that weird situation with Greta.

"We copy." I spoke up, taking the radio in my hand in a quick move

"Join us at the small alley near the warehouse, we got a van that got inside just an second ago." She ordered us before the radio went off again as it was maybe time to strike this place down.

"Let's get going !" I said to myself as I started the car engine to drive off the parking we were on.

We acted in front of the guards like if we were just leaving the parking to go back home as they had their eyes on us all the way as we left the parking. I drove off away, taking a right turn before stopping the car in a hidden place, not so far from the rendez-vous point just next to the small alley Park asked us to join her & Garrett. Once we were out of the car, we took the equipment that we got into our trunk. Since our safehouse has a special room for guns revealed for me by Park, I took a XM4 with me, keeping my precious M1911 with me.

We equipped ourselves with bulletproof vests in hidden sight as the streets were pretty calm and no bystanders to see two womens gearing up. Then, we started to walk quickly inside the small alley where we could see Park & Garrett, also ready, armed & protected for the mission. She took her usual equipment as for him, he was also well-armed, having his own guns too.

"So, ready ?" He started after we got inside the alley next to them as he was standing on an closed dumpster bin, looking at a window to the inside of the warehouse.

"Yeap, armed to the teeth !" I joked about it, making him smile at me as he got down from the bin. "Stone is inside ?" I asked.

"No." He replied, breathing.

"It would have been too easy for us and frankly, Stone isn't going to show up that easily in here." Park added, looking away for a second, almost sounding angry.

"Inside, there's a lot of covers and at least 10 to 15 enemies." Garrett checked up his mag from his Krig 6, a gun that Greta is also using. "Mostly not wearing an protection and a small part, slightly protected."

"You spot maybe the man in charge of the place ?" Greta questioned him but he shook his head at the same time he took his mag back into his gun.

"Guess that if we hear someone yelling orders, then we will know who we are looking for." I guessed and the three nodded in approval, almost laughing of it.

"Okay." Park took a breath before she gestured at us. "There's an door in that very alley, it's our entrance inside." She then started to walk away as we followed her.

As we followed her, I quickly checked the mag of my own XM4 in case, not wanting to make an rookie mistake before charging our way inside the warehouse. The group weren't looking so nervous as this mission was their first since a long time. Apparently, it's been months that they didn't work all together and in here with them, I was feeling like a newbie discovering more about Park's friends and to be honest, it was very new for me.....like if I was relieving my first days after meeting Zasha in 1975.

We arrived near the door Park talked about, leading inside the warehouse. It was pretty strange that it wasn't guarded at all like if Stone mens forgot about it, making the things easier for our little group. Garrett decide to take the lead, positioning himself just next to the door as we got behind him, with me & Park aiming at the door while Greta was aiming behind us to make sure that we weren't surprised.

"Ok, let's do....." He was going to continue until the door suddenly opened itself....revealing two guards that were going to get here for an smoke, one of them holding a pack of cigarettes and when we all make eyes contacts, it was looking like the most embarassed moment in our lifes and then....

"Alarm !" One of them shouted inside in german as the other tried to reach for his gun below his jacket before Garett literally pulled a bullet right between of his eyes from his Krig 6 before we started to charge inside with him, throwing himself on the other guard that was finished to yell.

"Quick, move to cover !" He ordered and we quickly complied as the bullets has started to fly in our direction, getting ourselves right behind multiples covers : me behind an crate with Park as Greta got covered by an large pillar while Garrett was still struggling with the screaming guy. "Oh, shut up !" He reached his handgun to put the screaming guy out of the game before getting behind cover.

"What a start !" I scoffed as I peaked to get a look on the warehouse, discovering the place : 3 rows of racks, supposely filled with weapons crates and the van Park & Garrett saw at the other side of the warehouse on the enemy side. Then, I got myself back to cover, preparing my gun to shoot.

"Welcome into our group, Yirina." Park smiled at me before she started to fire with her MP5 on our right and I moved to fire at our left of our cover. "Garrett, hostiles at 11 o'clock."

"Got it !" He exclaimed, shooting in the direction that Park told him, precisely getting 2 guards out of the picture.

"Yirina, there's someone on top of that catwalk." Greta pointed at me to a catwalk at my right as she got next to me. There were an guard shooting with an SMG at her position so I stayed in cover, shooting at the guy and hitting him, causing him to fall from the catwalk to land on a pile of box. "Danke." She thanked me in german and I nodded to her.

"Throwing smoke grenades !" Garrett exclaimed, holding two grenades that he launched further in the warehouse, making us some good cover for us and an small instant to breathe as the bullet stopped to fly to us, instead hearing people coughing from the smokes. "Ok, we can advance now." He added, streching his left arm to reload his gun.

"Each one of you take a hallway between the racks." Park suggested and once the smoke were at their full capacity we decided to move out of cover to advance inside the warehouse.

Park took the most to the right hallway of the place, I took the one close to her, Garrett took the other one next to me as Garrett took the most at the left one. I advanced slowly inside my hallway as I entered the smoke screen and I was immediately greeted inside by an man holding an knife, trying to charge me with it. I took my XM4 in my both hands and I uppercutted the man with it, getting my M1911 out to pull an bullet in him, not wanting to get surprised by that guy after.

Further in the smoke screen, I saw two guys still coughing from the smoke until they saw me....2 against one....I needed to react fast so  without hesitation, I literally throw my XM4 in the guy that was at my right, getting my hand on my M1911 again. The left guy tried to attack me with his AK-47 but I was able to shot a bullet in his stomach, causing him to fall on his knees until I decided to shot another bullet in the head to fully kill him.

"Overkill....best kind of kill." I taunted to myself before I quickly focused back on the other guy who was able to recover and had his both hands on my XM4, almost ready to aim at me. I grabbed his collar and I headbutt him before getting him fly above me on the ground and then I was on him before I shoot 3 bullet into that guy that was still looking resisting to me. "Just fucking die !" I taunted to him as I shot the bullets.

Once it was done, I took back my XM4 and advance in my hallway until I arrived at the end of it, not even greeted by an single bullet but I could see someone enter an office and closing the door of it, it was maybe the chief of the guys in place. I was ready to go in until I saw Garrett arriving at the same time as me at the end of the warehouse. He was struggling with someone, a knife in his hand.

"Don't worry, I got this !" He shouted at me as I was ready to help him in his fight and then in a second, he actionned something in his knife, the blade of it going directly into the right eye of the man he was fighting with me. "Told you." He said at me before he looked at the office's door direction, having seen it too apparently. "I'm taking the guy, help Park and Greta !" I nodded as he runned to the office door before I could see a man falling back at my left, discovering Greta having shoot him.

"I'm okay." She breathed, looking at me with an smile and getting next to me, spanning over an dead guy she killed and then, I could see behind her an guard aiming at her with his own gun

"Watch out !" I yelled before I decided to throw myself on Greta to get into cover, avoiding her to get killed from that guy and as the same guy was about to shoot us again, he was immediately shot by someone....Park !

"Are you okay ?" She asked after getting out of the hallway she was taking care of, finding me on top of Greta before I removed quickly from her.

"Really good, thanks for the save, Park." I told her with an smile as I got up to reach for my gun. "So, is this it ?" I looked around, seeing only dead bodies and us alive.

"Guess so...." Greta started before we hear a loud noise of a window getting broken. It was the guy that me & Garrett saw getting into the office, flying through the window of it as Garrett was getting out of it by the same way....walking.

"Sorry, he tried to kill me !" He exclaimed at us, almost sounding apologizing at he walked to get to the guy he just threw throught the window.

"Go fuck your...." The man wanted to say until Garett kick him right into the face with his feet, knocking the guy out for the moment. At this moment, we all take a breath as we have just finished our mission and making quite a mess in the place.

"I can say that the MI6 will like to tear this place apart !" Garrett looked at the multiples racks, filled with crates before he put his eyes on the van that they saw. "Let's see what's inside." He walked to the van backdoors to open it, revealing an large crate.

"Wow, that's quite big." I said, looking at the crate as Garrett get inside the van to have the crate outside and I decided to help him....we all to because it was very heavy. "What Stone is using to make this crate heavy ?" I asked to myself as we were finally done with it, putting the crate on the ground.

"Got an crowbar." Greta told us, handing the object to Garrett and then, he opened the box with it...revealing multiples rocket launchers in it.

"Can say that Stone is still loving those !" Garrett took a breath at seeing those, making me think that Stone really like explosives.

"RPG.....american model." I whispered, taking one of it in my hands to check, it was unarmed and safe to take....until I realized that there were something wrong with it. "Wait, it's more heavier than I thought." I proclaimed, curious about it.

"Do you think there's something inside ?" Park asked me, also curious before I decided to tap the RPG on the ground, getting some small packages from it.... "Fuck, that's drugs !" She was sounding more shocked to see those white packages on the ground.

"Stone is now into drugs !" Greta whispered before taking also one of the RPG to do the same as me, discovering another drug packages.

"Shit !" Garrett was taken away by that, like everyone else in here. "And to say, it's just one box." He looked back at the racks, probably filled with guns & drugs now. "MI6 is going to be in heaven with that."

"Did we just make an big move today ?" I asked to everyone, feeling good & better than before, having doing this.

"Of course we did !" Park affirmed to me, putting her hands on my shoulder. "We're going to take this place apart, waiting for the cleaning crew to arrive and after we're done here....." She started, taking a quick look around the warehouse, focused on the racks and then, looking at all of us.....

".....we will go for an drink !"

[warningimmental]

You made your choice. It's not to be a mother so....... Congratulations you're free!!!. Your Wish came true.

Yes this is public so people can see.#TRUTH

***See below as im not repeating again and again.***

My side of life.

P.s

Yeah I'll be fine. I always am in the end.

( Heres what needs to be said and has been said so not to repeat myself. From in PMs )

Sad thing is she knows ill forgive her just like I forgave dad and EVERYONE and EVERYTHING else. I care so no one else has to. I'm the one who picked up the pieces of everything but was tormented daily. She wonders why I was the way I was it was due to parenting and fobbing me off to anyone who would take me.

Anne and Bob should of kept me. They couldn't have kids they could of had me though. (neighbours I adopted as grandparents no blood but love ) My father was a shit most of my life my mother was everyones mother bar mine. They kept me quite with gadgets and as long as I went to school fed and watered job done.

Favourite quote was "it's your fault" and dads was "your making me ill"

Christ for someone who knows everyone elses business she never saw what was happening to her own daughter.

29 years im done. Sick of being a leighton.

I said Stockholm syndrome I loved my captives just happened to be the people I called mum and dad....

I still love them both but what I was "known as normal" was not remotely normal.

Eg. I was appendicitis and born 8 months in mum had no clue and I was "hiding" behind her ribs. It's medically impossible.

Not to mention lived in New York every other year from age of 6 months till I was 13. Dad would take me over and over and over mum came ONCE for my 13th.

I have no memories of New York. It's kind of a huge thing and place to have been wiped out of a memory.

Now im clear-minded im having pseudoseizures because my subconscious doesn't want me to remember what happened.

What mother would let a new born or toddler a child that can't speak fly to the other side of the world to only be with men. My dad and my fucked up uncle who sends stuff to "favourite" niece

I've tried so hard to get better and it's not even my family who acknowledged it.

There's so much you don't know.

She used to have me go in the house before her in case dad had killed himself so id find him first from the ages of 7 onwards. When dad past I went behind the curtain first. So I kept the is see him first. On 29th April 2018

I was always on eggshells she would say people die of lack of breath so EVERY NIGHT id check on mum and dad every hour. She would hold her breath to screw with me. Then say im not dead go to bed.

The house was toxic. For once in my life im actually sane.

She is not who you think she is.

If I've lost my mind it's because my environment sucked. I'm finally out. Sober can think clear and don't harm because I don't have to deal with the toxicity that I dealt with ALL my life.

If I told you everything you wouldn't believe me. Which is fine know one does because but it's true.

Always ask why or what causes someone to go off the rails and self destruct. I never felt safe, I was always told I was a mistake and everything was my fault. As long as I kept the family secrets mum was happy.

Dad was toxic. Mum the same. She wants drama so I finally said enough.

When I say mum knows everything I mean she saw it all and NEVER had it stop or put me safe. I can finally talk now dad is gone. I could write every TRUTH down and write a book. People would wonder how the hell did this girl cope and live to tell. I lived because I care about everything and everyone else. But im done now.

I doubt you'd believe me if im honest. My inbox is full of people defending her and my dad. If only they knew. its been a long time coming but im finally speaking out.

I know people don't understand but I don't want to burden with it. If You like my mum and dad id rather I let you keep the illusion. I know it's out there now that's enough.

If you want to see my life keep reading otherwise STOP HERE.

I'm fine and im safe finally. I just needed more as a child than fear of what should of been my safe place a home.

I don't want us to be strangers to the people who read this and thin sarahs lost it.

I don't want to cause a riff, I just couldn't not say it finally. Mum says always go to counselling but I couldn't. I couldn't tell anyone the truth about dad or mum. Or the truth on why I had to have a very intrusive operation due to assault by 3 at Halloween party. Mum now knows that. Dad was arrested for hitting the wrong lad. Dad and mum would have gone down for murder if I spoke out.

On the other hand there was also my home life in general. I was made to stay quiet about having a revolving door of strangers. Huge boozy parties after a night out. Mum and me being treat like muck on a shoe.

A abusive uncle who would have me and my cusion be "kissing cusions" .Every night when I was 15 to 26 I drank took sleeping pills and hid away in my room self destructive harm anything so not to deal.

I look like wolferrines attacked me because of the arguments or threats. Mum couldnt leave the house quick enough. I gave up on a career to care for my dad but I was always looked down on.

****** golden girl. left was I was guilt tripped saying "your still dads girl you won't leave me" while dad would cry. Every night.

Mum swears I was an appendicitis 8 months in term. I'd be handed to anyone and everyone. Every year or every other from birth id end up in america. Mum would say her holidays where when me and dad would leave. From 6 months old id always go back and forth to New York. I couldnt talk yet "apparently" begged to go with dad.

Mum would say after blazing rows im leaving.

Then just walk out the door. I was left with a highly angry father and confused were mum had gone and if she would come back for me. I'd stay up all night waiting. I'd hide crying and scream in a pillow so not to be to loud so dad didn't shout.

I was told my face doesn't fit. My nick name was ferret face or panda. I would hurt my self so not to hurt others. I wanted and trained to be a counsellor so one to understand what I did wrong and two and most importantly to be there for the people who needed support.

I went to rehab to be identified when found so my parents wouldn't have to. If it wasn't for craig I doubt if be here.

Craig saved my life. Mum has always put others before me or ignored it so it didn't exist.

Important in here (ears) none important (over your head)

I was terrified everyday of my life. I loved and do love my parents it's just I can't stay quite any longer.

Money or game consoles chocolate sweets where hush money. Dad would buy crates of spirits and beer and supple my / his pills so I was always foggy minded.

I'm finally sober clean and harm free my mind is the most composed it ever been.

No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.

Mum is a star and has a heart of gold to others but from age 7 onwards everyone else came first.

I pride my self on protecting, comforting trying to be there and support everyone, hell even risked my life enough times to save some. because I never had it. No one to fight for me protect me.

I wanted parents love encouragement happy I archived or even tried. But it never came.

Even my graduation was ruined.

I wasn't allowed to get a job they made me be sick and have PTSD mum still to this day loves to make me jump. I have terrifying nightmares.

I'd hear conversations no child should hear because they either didn't notice I was there or care. When ***** killed him self when *** did when dad tried and I was left with a random man being told "your dads took to many sweets"

The same man who later tried it on with me sending dirty pictures or dads other "mates" who would try there luck. I gained a shit ton of weight 21 stone so NO guy would come near me because the strangers who would come to the house used to try and feel me up or perv if door was unlocked as I was a kid.

She saw everything but wouldn't believe it. Or me. I phone our ***** one night years ago because she said I could and she yelled at me because she had work. I was silently screaming for help.

It was only at dads funeral she saw and realised and was so genuinely sorry for not believing me the night I phoned.

I wish every single thing I've said and keep telling was a lie but it's not it's 25/26 years of fear.

I'm 29 now. For the first time in my life im not on eggshells. I have a safe home. I can lock the door and not fear.

I wish these were lies I swear!!!!! I do but there not.

Yet NO ONE will even consider it's the TRUTH.