#i'm not leaving my bed today
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
somehow i woke up with blasphemy playing in my head, leave me alone tyler joseph
#i don't listen to this song very often but goddddd#also hi everyone#i'm not leaving my bed today#i'm so fucking exhausted after the entire week + yesterday's 12h at work#just me coffee and music#or maybe i'll finish arcane today idk#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok, I'm burnt out, pretty grumpy, and having a really hard time, so I'll be turning asks off for awhile. Posting will be more sporadic. I know I don't have to announce things like this, I figure I'll let people know so they don't think I'm ignoring them or anything. I'm just having a shit time, y'all.
Take care, everyone.
#personal#blog post#sorry for literally just coning back from a posting a break and leaving immediately after#shit just really fucking sucks today#I've been having a shit time throughout this entire move#but the moment we got on the road and the moments after have been fucking hell#i didnt sleep well most of these nights either#as I've been sharing a bed with my mom#and she's used to a bigger bed so she keep stealing blankets and kneeing me in the side#I'm just having a shit time#even spirituality has veen difficult lately#i haven't been able to feel the presence of any deities and that's been reallt hard#because it feels like I'm praying without reason sometimes#but i try to push through those feelings#but i also just feel bad that i keep asking and asking for hwlp without being able to give offerings atm#i just don't feel well#and there's not much i can do about it
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
!!
#i learned autism runs in my family today OK...... some things are making sense about me now#the relief i feel coming home. wow!! i have a therapy appointment tomorrow morning too!!!! with a new therapist who takes my insurance#thank you @ my obgyn for coordinating this. literally the best patient care i've ever experienced in my life#i'm so tired lol i went on a hike with my sister this afternoon after waking up at 4am and having panic attacks all morning#so i'm gonna go read leaves of grass until my bf is ready for bed so we can watch love is blind and go to sleep together on facetime :)#and i'll respond to messages and stuff tomorrow! i appreciate all of you so so much! thank you!
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
So idk if I can really articulate the way I'm feeling rn to translate it perfectly, but I want you guys to know how much I truly appreciate everyone who's followed me over the years, who has interacted with me in any way no matter how small, and anyone who has shown up recently. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It's probably cheesy to say but everyone here has made my life so much brighter and I feel so unbelievably blessed to have been invited into your lives in some way, even if it's just as someone who sometimes shows up on your dash.
I decided to scroll through my tag on here and the way people have supported me over the years though everything really, deeply touched my heart this evening. The people who have drawn fanart for me, the people who have commissioned me, the people who have tagged me in things (I cringe every time bc I feel soooo bad for not seeing them until I look in my tag once in a blue moon, but know I appreciate you trying to include me), the people who tag me when asked who their art inspirations or favorite blogs are (!!!!!!!!!??????), the people who post their art saying that my art inspired them in some way, people who express their excitement when they realize I've followed them (this will never stop being wild to me, what an incredible thing!!!! I'm just me!) everyone. It's absolutely mind boggling to me and I can't stress enough how much it means.
I've had such an incredible time on this site so far and met some of my closest friends here and just.. wow. Thank you so much to all of you, from the very bottom of my heart. I cannot thank you enough for all of your support!! Every little bit of interaction is a blessing to me and I've run out of ways to express that so I'll wrap this up here but yeah!! I hope you all have a lovely evening or whatever time of day it is in your time zone. Know that you've impacted me in a way I can't express and try to give yourselves a little grace, you'll never know how much you've improved the lives of the people around you by just spending a little time in their space ♥
#i wanted to tag a bunch of my friends bc i saw a lot of people i don't interact with much anymore bc of my reclusiveness in recent years#but i was terrified of accidentally leaving people out so if you're wondering if i'm thinking about you then you're exactly who i mean#love love love love love I'm so incredibly fortunate and i can't forget that!!!!#the fact that i've been on here since 2014 and have only received one mean ask that i can think of is insane#i know i've been a bit of a downer lately but overall my hope is that i've created a positive space where people can be happy and feel safe#in some way in any way#and i hope i feel like someone people can talk to (or at.. i know im bad at replying but i do like to read sjkdlfsd)#i've been told that i may come off as intimidating but i truly don't want to be i want people to feel comfortable interacting ^^#ANYWAY gotta go to bed this is embarrassing thanks for listening byeee#dl#not art#i forgot to mention this but also people who use my art for their pfps???????? SPEECHLESS#all of the art in the world and you chose mine it makes my heart so full#also just realized i completely forgot to respond to emails today#if you see this and you're waiting on one I'll reply tomorrow but know I've gotten it!
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sunday doodles
#you ever just *puts feet on the wall*#or sit upside down off the side of your bed#i saw a post earlier this week I've been trying to find about fearing god#i read it but didn't have time to share my thoughts and i forgot to save it to my drafts so i lost it#anyway they talked about fearing god in service today#the overlap of related events like this scares me all the time#like... i know this stuff just happens and they had this sermon planned for months and it's coincidental#''but what if god is actually real and this is him trying to talk to me? what if he's trying to move me back on track?''#that's something i can't help but think#i'm starting to think I'll never know what is real and whether there's a god and if i really am setting myself up to burn in hell#i have to make a choice whether to leave my friends and hide who I am and go back to the church#or be myself and enjoy my time alive knowing what could be waiting for me when I go#I know that sounds extremely dramatic but it's something I think about a lot#it's one thing for someone to have never gotten to known God#but some say that the one unforgivable sin - the only thing that can keep you out of heaven forever...#...is knowing god and accepting him in your heart but then turning your back on him#I've done those rituals; been baptized and taken communion and said the famous prayer#if that unforgivable sin is true then I guess i've already made my choice; there really is no going back for me haha#damn right that god is scary lol#not tagging the game because I monolouged too much lmao#doodles#sunday doodles#depressing sunday doodle posts have arrived once again#dw im chilling today just lost in thought#was able to put in pto so i get the day to reflect on the very important things 21 year olds think about#things like ''what could've been'' and ''how do i want to draw my next fluffy boy''
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel very annoying bc I've called the car place like every day for the last 4 days they've been open but also like i was supposed to have my car back on saturday and as of now the soonest i'll be getting it back is tomorrow so maybe my pestering is a little bit justified ya know?
#i feel bad cus my sister has had to take me to work and pick me up after every day since last thursday with the exception of sunday#and i hate dragging her out of bed early or making her leave work late ;;;#(ok tbf it was actually our other sister who picked me up today but that's. a Whole Other Issue.)#anyway am i being annoying? probably#do i care? i mean unfortunately yes to a point bc Anxiety makes being annoying feel like a felony#but do i ACTUALLY care? no bc i know that I'm probably not even being as annoying as i think i am#shh ac
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
venting in the tags
#i have noticed that when i have a very good day#a very bad day comes along#and today is very bad#and sometimes#i just wish i got the same energy of how i help people back when im very much struggling#and recently#man#i don't know#the one day i could use a friend#it just kinda sucks cause like yeah i have these online friends#but irl? 🙃#like wow i would very much like to leave my house and maybe like get into some dumb shit idk go thrifting or something#the fact my dad actually took me to half price books and dropped me off to see bikeriders was a miracle in itself#being in my house today was so draining and i'm tired and like idk. idkkkkkk#i had to lay in bed and write a little because i so badly needed to take my mind off things#anyway#sigh#what can u do. truly.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Jesse has recovered and decided to stay! Hooray, I'm glad we rescued him from that space battle. He's very cool despite the hot-pink halo he has going on.
Oh, and Hot Minute has recovered and decided to stay!
Oh, uh... Kelorul has... Recovered and decided to stay, too...
Grump, please, we don't have much room...
Gracie, I love the name, but please reconsider!!
Armstrong is the only person polite enough to excuse herself from the premises after she's all better. We may be a charitable colony, but there are only so many people I can provide for!
First | Next | Previous
#rimworld#gracie plays#The Animist Alliance#art#my art#traditional art#rimworld art#unpolished art#slightly more polished art than usual#Randy Random has it out for me today#I like Jesse despite his stark halo of hot-pink mod-brokenness#But I could have gotten along just fine if the others decided to leave#I'm sure they're all lovely but I have had to scramble to build beds for them all to fit into#They are all going to share a barracks though#Late-game newcomers don't get fancy rooms#twenty-nine colonists is quite a lot#Oh there is one good thing about these new guys#Wookshy's is no longer my least-favourite colonist#he's like fourth-most-disliked I think#good for him#have a good day!! <3
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
I do not have even an ounce of the social energy required for tomorrow... it's going to be so much
#have to go out today to buy a secret santa present too#which. thankfully I got the one person I have a few things in common with#so I'm going to buy tea?? apparently that's a very normal secret santa present#but the office christmas party is also tomorrow and uhhhhhh#I am much better physically today than yesterday but it's still like. not at all appealing#I could leave very early I guess#but yeah ideally today would also be spent in bed to prepare#so I'm gonna try to run my errands incredibly quickly lol
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
nooooooo i have work tomorrow cries and cries and cries and cries and cries forever
#teeth.txt#i over extended myself last week and have been feeling like a horrible beaft ever since#my bf has been very kind and patient as i refuse to leave the apartment or use any coping skills#i did both of those things today but it took some work lol#anyways i think probably going out an doing something all day even if it is working#probably good for me right now#oh god i haven't made egg salad for my lunches#ok dragging myself out of bed to do that in a few minutes i guess#anyways i kind of hate my job but it does pay me a cool $19 an hour which is nice#scared a little bit of getting stuck there forever but also i'm thinking abt going to trade school next year so u know. probably i will not#ugh graduating college kind of sucks. wdym everything is different now? wdym i have to think about my future?#anyways. just trying to save money rn i guess. i have more in my savings than i ever have before which is kind of nice#ugh also i have to think abt transition related things -_- that's soooo complicated and lame
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate being sick
#ginger tea save me#i'm not leaving my bed today#good thing i'm not working cause i feel like an absolute shit#hopefully i'll get better by tomorrow#i say whatever and whatever that i want*
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
positive-thinking'd a little too much and now i'm wired and happy no matter how badly today went and i'm never going to go to sleeeeeeeeep :DDDDD
#i will do the responsible thing and go to bed even if i plunge right back into weird thoughts#i made a complete fool out of myself SO FUCKING MUCH today#i hate myself i have no prospect in this life#but it's okay it's alright i have fun music even though my taste suck and i'm too stupid to appreciate anything actually good#i need to fold myself into the washing machine and go for a few tumble cycles#wanna go run run run but it's late and it's scary to leave the noise of the computer and coming back once i get bored of it and shitty shoe#stupidhead#broadcasting my misery#vent
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ppl always say that autistics don't get jokes but honestly when has a neurotypical person ever clocked the fact that I've told a clearly telegraphed joke like. I'm the one who takes everything too seriously?
#like one time i was playing mario party with some (ex)friends#and someone said something abt 'i should be winning bc im playing as a princess' clearly joking right#so i tried to add on with a CLEARLY joking voice like 'um acktually im playing a GODDESS so'#like i was clearly talking in a dumb voice for the joke#and everyone was like 'don't be like that dude you're being too egotistical abt this :/' LIKE WHERE WAS I BEING SERIOUS THERE#ALSO. I DID NOT START THAT JOKE??? AND I WAS IN *THIRD PLACE* LIKE I WASN'T GETTING A FUCKING EGO WHAT???#anyway i don't talk to any of those people anymore bc they did this on multiple occasions#like can. can we PLEASE learn how to do a 'yes and'#everyone else would get to participate with jokes! but when i tried i was 'getting too serious abt it' TELL ME WHERE THAT SOUNDED SERIOUS#but nooooo autistic people don't KNOW how to be funny right!!!!#shut up im the most hilarious person in the room you all just hate disabled ppl#(they did. they did hate disabled ppl. once i started getting too physically disabled leave my house they all ghosted me)#like i was like 'hey can we maybe hang out at my place since i can't leave my bed much'#and would either be told 'no i don't feel like hanging out today' (when they were talking abt plans to hang out already??)#or 'sorry i don't like ur apartment for (arbitrary reason)'#and they were arbitrary reasons bc they were fine with other friends' houses that had the same 'problems'#and like they'd just constantly tell me to my face that i was boring or awkward to be around#like maybe I'm boring bc you make an effort not to include me ever so i never know what's going on?#and like. it's not like they ever made an effort to learn abt us. when we tried and tried so many times to come out abt things#we'd literally get no response then get our messages steamrolled by a new conversation hours later#and ppl would be like 'i didn't see those!' YOU were the one who spammed my messages out of the chat dude
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
begging to be done with school in the next three hours- i'm gonna go home and get such a good sleep
#i'm dreaming of my warm bed and the fluffy blanket- i had to leave them so early in the morning my heart breaks#and just taking any unnecessary clothes off (like my bra it's digging into me today) and stretching until my bones crack#daenysdreams
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
WOOO chapter 3 is up!!!
Summary:
“HOLY SH-” Miles and Gwen simultaneously turned to cover Pav’s mouth so as to not alert the creature in the middle of the carnage below them. The creature either didn’t hear him or it was too preoccupied with whatever it was doing. To his regret Miles soon realized what that was, as another wet snapping noise broke the silence once more. The creature was crouched down on all fours over what Miles assumed was the body of an officer, though it was so mutilated that it was hard to tell for sure. Its head was buried into the chest of the body beneath it, another wet snapping noise emerging as it pulled out a couple of ribs between its bloodied jaws... Or The Spider-Gang goes looking for Hobie. They don’t like what they find.
Chapter 3 of my Venom!Hobie fic is here! 💜💜💜
#sorry for the wait this chapter took forever to edit lol#cause I kinda rushed over some parts when writing the draft so there was a lot of unfinished stuff left#but it's out now and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out!#it's also the longest chapter so far which is another reason it took longer to get out#lol it's 2:30 am here but I really wanted to update the fic today so here it is <3#also thank you to everyone who's read the fic so far <3#and an even bigger thank you to those of you leaving kudos!#and the biggest thank you in the world to the people commenting on my fic!!!! I love you 💜💜💜#I'm off to bed now g'night guys <3#hobie brown#spider punk#Venom!Hobie#miles morales#spider man#gwen stacy#spider gwen#pavitr prabhakar#spider man india#across the spider verse#across the spiderverse#atsv#spiderverse#spider gang#the spider gang#my post#my fic#once again I'm using google translate when writing so please let me know if something doesn't make sense so I can correct it <3
10 notes
·
View notes