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Confession, rejection, acceptance, repeat | {KokuZan}
Theme: Angst, angst, and more angst 🤩✨
"Yes? What would you like?" Muzan asked, turning to his highest ranked demon.
"Uh.. Master, I would like to, uh, ask you...out?" Kokushibo said nervously. For over thirty years his crush on his king had only grown. And only just a couple months before, the other uppermoons had found out. They'd pushed him to confess ever since he told them and he'd finally decided he would today. Which was what he was currently doing.
Muzan cocked his head to the side, confused. Ask him out? To leave the room or...?
But reading his uppermoon's mind proved he'd gotten it completely wrong.
Forcing away the heat that was rising up to his face, Muzan quickly got ahold of himself. "Kokushibo," he said.
The said demon looked up and met the red-pink eyes of his crush with the six of his own. "Hm?"
"No."
The word bounced around the room several times before it sank into Kokushibo's mind and he realized what his master meant. "...No?" he whispered, more to himself than to the other.
Muzan nodded and turned to leave. He paused at the doorway, though, and said, "Oh, and, tell the other uppermoons that if they so much as think about any of these stupid relationship things, they can forget they ever existed. That goes to you, too, Kokushibo. I'm surprised you even considered it. And for thirty years?" He shook his head, disappointed, and left, leaving Kokushibo to process what had just happened.
___________________ "I knew it. I told you he wouldn't accept it.." Kokushibo repeated for the 10th time, looking off into the distance.
Daki sighed and continued rubbing Kokushibo's back. Usually it was the elder of the two acting as the comforter, but this time Daki had to play the part to her father figure. "I'm sure he's just in shock."
"No.. no, he was clear about it. If he thought we might be together at any point he wouldn't have put such restrictions.. He's right, though. I can't let myself think such things, I mustn't ponder this any longer." Kokushibo's mind was set. Kind of. Well, not really. A little. ...Not at all, if he was honest, but he had to obey his Master's orders. He got up and gave Daki the fakest smile ever. "I'll be fine, no need to worry. I apologize for this inconvenience. I'll see you later." (BRO HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT- Edit: Nvm i fixed it 😁)
He left without another word.
Daki sighed again and looked down. If she hadn't pushed him to confess this wouldn't have happened. How had she messed everything up..
Douma walked in and sat next to Daki. "Don't worry, they both just need time to think about it!" He clapped cheerfully. "I'm sure in no time they'll be together."
From behind the two uppermoons, Akaza groaned in annoyance. "Master literally said we can't even as much as think about those kinds of things, stop acting like it's going to happen. Because as much as we want it, the Master's word is his word and we can't disobey."
The blond nodded, still acting as optimistic as ever. Akaza sighed. Daki rolled her eyes at the two and got up. "I've got to go now, you two stop fighting." And at that, she left.
___________________
For another week, Kokushibo grew restless. He couldn't believe he had actually gone out there and asked Muzan that. Or that he had been rejected. The humiliation and disappointment weighed down on him. The other Uppermoons tried desperatly to cheer him up, but as much as he appreciated their attempts, it did nothing to lift his spirits. He was just to sadened about this to be happy.
Meanwhile, Muzan couldn't get his mind off of this. He was surprised, shocked, flustered (although he would never admit it), and apprehensive. He didn't know how to feel about this but he did know (or at least he thought he did) that he shouldn't accept this confession. It would get in the way of everything. Of course, he felt that that might be wrong but... who would listen to their heart anyways. That was weak and for humans. Which was how they were always so vulnerable and fearful. Getting attatched caused problems.
Then again.
If he didnt accept, who knows how long he'll be thinking about this on and on. He couldn't stop, and if he didn't at least consider accepting then who knows how long he might think about it. But of course that was the whole point. Distracting him from important matters.
He sighed, annoyed. Why were emotions so annoying and complicated?!
Muzan rolled his eyes at himself. Whatever, this wasn't worth his time.
But then an hour later he caught himself thinking about it, yet again. What was wrong with him? Had these emotions gotten ahold of his head...?
___________________
Kokushibo sat in his study, reading.
Kiyoko took his hands and smiled up at him. "What I would give to live with you forever." She smiled softly and faded away, leaving Hiroshi crying deeply as his lover disappeared in his arms.
The Uppermoon paused, wondering why he was reading this. He'd gotten so into the book that he hadn't even realized he was reading a romance novel. Was this because he wanted to replicate this with Muzan? ....Wait.
Why couldn't he just stop thinking about this? Every day it was Muzan this, Muzan that. Wishing he was in his arms now, knowing that he'd never be then. What was with him? He had to stop this. Push down all these disrupting feelings. No. More. Emotions.
Sometimes he wished he could be like Douma. Never feeling real emotions, only faking. It would make things all the more easier. He got up and tucked the book back into the bookshelf. That was enough thinking. He had to accept his fate. Enough of this wanting, he was done with wisihgn he had something he would never get. Leaving the room, he vowed he wouldn't have anything to do with love again. Never ever.
_________________
Muzan was having completely different thoughts. He felt as if he shouldn't have been so harsh on his uppermoon. Besides, he had always favored his top ranked Uppermoon best. Which was one of the reason Kokushibo was Upper 1. And besides, there was something there. He hated to admit it, but he had definitely flushed JUST A LITTLE (totally-) when the confession had risen. So maybe he should accept this? Maybe..
He looked around. Where was Kokushibo? He would accept the confession now. Two weeks of thinking was enough, who cares about the restrictions he'd set. They didn't matter anymore. He was going to get Kokushibo and accept the stupid (or not) confession. He couldn't take it anymore, too much thinking and theorizing and restless nights of worry. He was going to give his own confession to his favorite Uppermoon.
_________________
Kokushibo had been called to see Muzan for a reason he did not know. He knocked on the door and waited for a response.
Muzan looked up. When he realized it was Kokushibo, he took a deep breath to get himself ready before he said, "Come in." He motioned for the other to sit across from him as the demon strode in. "I know you're wondering why I have summoned you here, and, well, the matter is quite simple. It's a matter adressing what happened a couple weeks ago. Your... 'confession.'"
The room grew painfully quiet as the demon king waited for an answer. Then, "Yes?" Kokushibo wondered if it was to reprimand (me writing that but only vaguely knowing what it means) him for thinking about it. But whatever it was, at least he had decided to let it go and stop paying so much attention to it, right?"
Muzan took a deep breath, deciding to let Kokushibo have his privacy and not read his mind. If they were going to do this, he needed everything to work out as he wanted. "Well. I'm going to.. accept it. Or rather, I'll confess something as well. I.. I'm asking you out."
Kokushibo was beyond shocked. "Wait what?"
"I'm asking you out," Muzan repeated, getting impaitent.
"No.. I heard what you said but.. I'm just.. surprised."
"Yes, I suppose you would be. But anyways, now you can accept this an-" the shorter of the two was cut off by Kokushibo.
"No. I am going to reject this. I apologize, Master, but I have no interest in this sort of love nonsense." And with that, he got up and left, leaving the demon king, the one who got everything he wanted and everything had to be his way, alone.
"....." Muzan was shocked. How could he have just been rejected? Him? The demon lord? Been rejected by his own subject? ....this couldn't be happening. How. Why?! He got up to storm after Kokushibo but then paused. This.. humiliation, this embarrassment and disappointment.. It was how Kokushibo must've felt when he'd rejected him, right?
He sat back down and slumped in his chair. He supposed he deserved this, then. But.. how would he go about this? Kokushibo had gone with acceptance.. Suppose he did the same? It wouldn't be easy but.. that's just life for you. Was this how it was for the humans as well? Perhaps emotions had more to them than fragility....
Word count: 1523
{Look I didn't know where to end it ok- But anyways this was too short 😞
Anyways, ignore the amount of spelling mistakes in this, I was too lazy to look up the proper spelling.}
Edit: AGAIN I WROTE THIS A WHILE AGO AND ON WATTPAD SO IT'S KINDA GOOFY BUT WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT 😭
#kokuzan#uppermoons#angst#muzan being stubborn asf#kokushibo#muzan#muzan jackson#i'm not fixing my spelling mistakes#old writing again#kinda shitty#i thought it was lotsa angst before when i first wrote it but it really isn't tbh#random tags>>>>>
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Schlat og
They keep on falling for this trick
#im sorry to tell you all that I hc Koby as cis…#dont mention the spelling mistake I hc hibari as dyslexic#that's why it's there…#not because I'm to lazy to go back and fix it#my art#one piece#digital art#one piece fanart#koby one piece#one piece koby#one piece hibari#twitter meme
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#canon do be feeding my hcs that Belos regularly hallucinates out of guilt#the owl house#owl house#toh#the owl house for the future#owl house for the future#toh for the future#the owl house critical#owl house critical#toh critical#the owl house criticism#owl house criticism#toh criticism#anti huntlow#noelle's rambles#excuse the spelling mistakes I'm too tired to fix anything
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my favorite girl♡
ft. Eddie and a little Rosie <3 @xoxoalette
#I've been very busy dying from my uterus 🥰 but rest assured I've got some citrus kiss in the works as well#stellar#hot killer babes vn#i always see rosie in the comments cheering for star#i get it#she's definitely my fave to draw (no offense Yue it's just ghat you're a man amd i can't draw men 😔)#my art#rambling ->#i was thinking about Starla and why i rhink she'd keep pursuing Eddie (in a fruendly manner) despite knowing he doesnt like her#and I'm thinking it's a validation thing#she feels like ahe newds tdo be validated by those she's in close proximity to#so she starts SPIRALLING when she picks up on the subtle signs that he doesn't like her#so she feels like she has to up the charm#wow look at all those spelling mistakes ♡ im not fixing that <3#scribbles#oc: starla
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arcobaleno adult heights via estimation based on canon (listing at the end if you don't care about how I estimate them.)
okay. first off, we only have the eaisest to estimate; fon. in the below panel, we see fon next to hibari;
fon is around the same height - he's in a pose that would make him draw himself taller (beginning of a fighting stance, better shown in chapter 371.) so I think it's safe to say they're the same height, without about an inch or two as a margin of error. and, luckily, hibari has a canon height: 5'5"
yeah. I wasn't expecting fon to be that short either
next is also pretty easy, since we see fon next to mammon a few times.
in both adult and baby form, mammon is consistently shorter than fon. I'd say about 2-3 inches or so. this places mammon about 5'4" (2 inch difference, fon being 5'6") or 5'3" (3 inch difference, fon being 5'5".)
let's round down, because I've already done this with fon so. consistency.
so, thus far, the chart is looking
Mammon: 5'3", Fon: 5'5"
okay, colonello is a little of a battle. the only people we see near adult colonello is iemitsu. unfortunately, colonello is laying the entire time in every panel we see him near iemitsu. he is, also, in pretty heavy perspective. luckily, I found this one panel where it wasn't as bad, and did some. messy. estimation of his height based off iemitsu (roughly outlined how many heads could fit in iemitsu, measured out colonello's heads the same, and accounted for the small part I couldn't measure and stacked that on top of colonello's count. seen. below. if that makes sense:)
and putting their height difference into a simulator-
colonello is, roughly, 5'11". and I do mean really roughly. so, this far, it's looking:
Mammon: 5'3", Fon: 5'5", Colonello: 5'11"
next is reborn.
reborn is also quite hard, mostly because his only measurements are iemitsu at a very long distance - and tsuna while they are both crouching.
I did not want to have to measure out iemitsu again. and, luckily, we're far enough in I can finally pull some of my ace cards out;arcobaleno line ups.
perspective is a little rough - but reborn and colonello are roughly the same height. the hat can confuse things a little, but I'd say reborn is about 1-2 inches off of colonello's height. (5'9 or 6'1.)
I know I've been scewing down so far, but eyeballing it and keeping perspective in mind - reborn seems to be a little taller than colonello. I'll still round down, though. so 6'0.
so, the list looks:
Mammon: 5'3", Fon: 5'5", Colonello: 5'11", Reborn: 6'0"
and, looking back at the lineups - verde is pretty obviously the tallest. like both times. by a pretty decent margin. despite always finding a way to loom in the back of crowds. probably 6'2" minimum, and like. 6'5" max. lets meet in the middle and say 6'3" ½.
uni is the shortest, and luce is unclear due to perspective. I do not want to chart out their exact heights - but if it helps for anyone else, uni seems to be three inches or so shorter than mammon.
skull: I forgot about him. he's roughly mammon and fon's height. I'd say he's probably between them - which, here, looks like 5'4".
lal mirch: I am So Sorry Lal. I forgot about her for a second. anyways, going off of these :
lal was at, like, colonello's chin. around mammon's height, likely. I'll say 5'3 because I Cannot make another height estimation chart. one was enough.
whole list:
Mammon: 5'3"
Lal Mirch: 5'3"
Skull: 5'4"
Fon: 5'5"
Colonello: 5'11"
Reborn: 6'0"
Verde: 6'3" ½
extra, assuming tallest possible heights for all:
Mammon: 5'4"
Lal Mirch: 5'4"
Skull: 5'5"
Fon: 5'6"
Colonello: 5'11" (still. lol)
Reborn: 6'1"
Verde: 6'5"
#katekyo hitman reborn#sorry if you don't use imperial. I'm not redoing this for the metric system.#arcobaleno#khr arcobaleno#fon khr#lal mirch#colonello khr#colonello#mammon khr#viper khr#skull khr#reborn khr#verde khr#luce khr#uni khr#that's my nerd tag. I think. don't remember#saying stuff#sorry about the spelling mistakes. did this on my phone. I am not fixing them.#i think.
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Mutuals Mutuals Come one COME ALL!!!
Put your various sona's and appendages together for the unveiling of a lil' something I've been working on while being distracted from animating Dame Aylin's wings (Its long, hard, fun as all hell but the concentration required to do so seems physically impossible for a beast of my genus)
I drew all my moots tavs/pseudo-companions!!! It took a bit, but it was well worth it! Everyone's design is so unique and fun to figure out. (10 is a big number of moots)((which I am very grateful to have :3)) So without Further Ado!!! (there will be so much more Ado):
(page break cuz the images are 400x400 each but 10 times, I also go on for a bit about how much I like each Tav/pseudo-companion character) ((if anyone can give me tips on how to size pieces in a normal style digitally i'd be very grateful))
First of all is Sivvus the Fey Prince (he/him)! This elusive Eladrin Tav belongs to @thedomesticanthropologist! A gorgeous yet seemingly cold-hearted druid who tends to keep his cards close to his chest. Though if you want the challenge you can see for yourself if you can try and get close to him to see if Sivvus is as closed off as he seems to be. To be quite honest, Sivvus really grew on me. A very fancy Eladrin with a high society (fey society) upbringing ( with very good looking mood boards to match) and the like only for him to be thrust into the bg3 world with a worm to boot. He is charming! Also his backstory? <3 Defienetly go read it! 10/10 would draw the snob again :)
Second off we have Gum (He/They)! A Githyanki Cleric of Mystra. Being @piipaw's Tav you'd find this charming fruit lover trying to live a peaceful life after escaping from the creche that raised them. I like Gum a lot as the concept of a githyanki trying to find their own way in Faerun while also having no idea about any of the social customs is very gripping to me. I recommend greatly to check out the blog for Gum fics, fanart and a very cool moot . :)
Next is H'rayn of Verkos (she/her)! Now different from all the character's I drew, H'rayn is not a Tav! She's actually a pseudo-companion character with a lotta lore and history! She even has her own quest, party banter, approval and disapproval things. It's the whole deal!! @githkisser made an amazing post all about H'rayn . If you want a ton of indepth and fun info that's really really well documented, I cannot overstate how much you should it check out! I find myself going back to learn more about H'rayn as she really is as well thought out as in game companions! It's quite fun thinking up of ways tavs can interact with her and the art is mwah!!! very good indeed :3
4th! Tavern (Tav) the Bard! (they/them) This darling bard ran away from the circus.....from birth! Created by @avocado-writing, Tavern plays their way into your heart with their silly antics, warm heart and eldritch pocket dimension in their chest!
Tavern is a doll to doodle and I am amped to draw them even more in the future. The heterochromia and the inclusion of instruments does make them a fun challenge (i will draw instruments accuratley with these paws eventually). Go check them out!! :D
5th! Hvinidyr the Barbarian (he/him)! @star-bear-art (I just realised after all this we aren't actually mutuals. Which is funny since we kinda have the same name and theme with the bear thing XD) If you wanna see wonderous art of Hvinidyr as well as the other companions, go look right over here!
Winnie (Hvinidyr) has a lot of forms depending on the time period you wanna look at. The one I chose was the most recent with the large scar tissue all over the left (right? I'm horrible at directions, my paws don't make an L shape for me to tell). He was really fun to sketch out (and probably later colour in) and has a really unique design that I appreciate :)
6th Vierlin the Enchantment Wizard (and a lil' bit rouge)!!!(she/her) @sybaritick's Tav!!! Now!! This classic drow has a keen intrest in enchantment magic, teaching her crafts to nobles in Amn. After the whole tadpole fiasco, she also finds another use for her multitude of arcane skills. Most notabley depicted with a local wizard.
Now I won't get ahead of myself here but the fics that Sybaritick wrote about Vierlin are like....licking a warm pan of thickened maple syrup or a fancy meat meal with so much demi-glaze you're left smacking your lips for at least 20 mins after eating. Its indulgent. And I couldn't recommend it enough!! Read it!! (it took me a good 8 times to get the 'ie' part of Vierlin's name right, the letters look the same to me)
7th Fink the Spores Druid (they/them) belonging to @causticcontemplation! They're a pretty short Tav a 2.5ft and have a whole modern AU fic about them!!! You can read all about it here! (the pun name is amazing!)
I found it cool to use the fic to figure out how to colour them in, I ended up sending an anon ask instead and it helped great! Lovely Tav 10/10!
8th Korydass the Druid!! (She/her)!!! Conjured by @cfcreative, this seemingly non-emotive bronze dragonborn lights a spark in viewers as her tail and love for nature portrays otherwise. Art of Kory is many and also very good. Reading through her lore is fun watching her dynamics with the different origin characters change as she opens up to the party.
Now I do have slight bias, I like drawing Kory the most since her head shape is less humanoid. It's just so satifying, also her design is crazy awesome to work with so all around its great recommend I like her a lot :3
9th Asheera the Paladin (she/her) produced by @optiwashere.
To be quite honest I wouldn't even have a blog if it wasn't for Asheera's fics. They are EXCELLENT. If you want to go through a journey of a half orcs struggles, successes and gripping romance with Shadowheart, VAULT YOURSELF into Opti's A03 page and devour. You will have negative regrets about it just like I! Asheera is great I love her a lot I am the most normal about her.
(I'll keep it brief since this post is long enough to cross a river)
10th Quin the Bard (he/him) composed by @quinthebard (who'd have known?)
This darling plucky bard is the star of an ongoing comic that is very dynamic and very gripping. (My fave panel is this one). Despite being 100, Quin still maintains his joyful and kind nature when traveling with the tadpole gang.
Definetly one of the most friendlies Tavs out of all the ones i've drawn. (he was also the first i drew out of all of these!) He's a delight!! Go check him out! Thanks to all my moots for giving permission, having such great characters and being such lovely moots! <3 <3 <3
(Any pronouns or other changes that want be changed, feel free to DM about it. I love those! )
#Any spelling mistakes#incomplete sentances or nonsense words found in the post shall be fix post-posting.#Re-reading my work make my eyes glaze over and that doesn't help anyone#bg3#bg3 tav#not my tav#not my TAVSSSSS#Also not my pseudo-companion#To be honest this took longer than actually animating Dame Aylin#But it was far more fun so it felt quick#Like i'm making art for moots!!!#What tops that????#feel free to DM me about your Tavs#Or to rp! i wanna try that!#Okay I'll be in my torpor if anyone needs me
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you ever realize you never properly learned how to say a character's name, so by the time you finally HEAR it, you have no idea who they're talking about? cause I feel like I keep doing this and it's very confusing to keep being corrected like that
#I have this habit of only reading the first few letters and then completely skimming over the rest of a name#which leads me to just. totally making it up#ko-she-key (koschei from doctor who) and tin-tall-gia (tintaglia from the rain wild chronicles) are my favorite names that I've fucked up#the funniest part is I only sometimes chose to recognize the mistake and fix it#I do not think those two will ever be pronounced correctly. I just. can't. that's who they are to me#plus soz but you're a liar if you're gonna tell me the way I say “ko-she-key” isn't an infinitely more fun way to pronounce it#even if it is... y'know... just not even the same name FFVJVFJ#I'm not tagging either media cause I mean whatever if you find it good for you but I NEEDED to show off how egregious those examples are#I'm being so fucking serious when I said I SKIM over these names. I didn't even know how to spell them I had to look it up#in fact I was so shocked about tintaglia I had to rewrite hers three separate times#I have never in my life paid any closer attention to these names and after this I will continue not doing so#they are “kosheci-said-with-a-hard-c-for-some-reason” and “tintalgia” to me thank you and goodnight#—:*after these messages we'll be righttttt back*:—
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a blessing for long life
come wish me happy birthday at otakuthon in august for your own little blessing of longevity 🎁
#cosmodynes art#illustration#ffxiv#ff14#emet-selch#hades ffxiv#i promise this is not as pathetically sad as it sounds#i am however#in the anime mines on my birthday lol#come commiserate with me and get a sticker#i'm aware there is a spelling mistake#it's fixed for print
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dm-to-player text discussions mid session that make u blurt OH MY GOD out in front of everyone
#making a homebrew spell with a lot of room for error because it's chronurgy-based healing . new novel and volatile spell#im like 'okay 1d6 healing and 1d6 necro on a fail?' (i roll int save 14) (both i and the person i cast on take that necro damage)#bro's like. 1d8 healing 1d12 necro.#OH MY GOD.#yeah. yknow what yeah that's hilarious im so on board with that.#we are level three.#i can also choose to fail it and do 1d12 necro without any save for what i'm casting on. at the cost of also taking 1d12 necro. but i'm#aasimar it's fine#insta damage? yes.#1d8 heal my allies? hopefully? also yes#i have aasimar healing i can fix my mistakes. mostly.
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hey! can we see your playthrough notes?
You absolutely can! A lot of them have made it into my posts in one way or another, so it probably won't be a lot thoughts people haven't seen before, but I'm happy to share! It's definitely fun to look back on now that I know more about the game. These notes were intended just for me to organize my thoughts so they might not make a lot of sense to other people, or be phrased in the best possible way. Also TW for a self harm mention
I hope it's everything you hoped for lol
#disco elysium#love how my notes go back and forth between first second and third person to talk about Harry#self harm tw#some of the phrasing here is weird#like the way I talked about Kim once kinda made it sound like I liked him *because* he handled racism stoically and that's not true at all#in my first playthrough I immediately pushed over the pale emitter instead of talking to Ruby so you can see me being shocked by some fairl#basic plot points in the second playthrough lol#I'm not going to fix the spelling mistakes it adds to the vibe#i also started but didn't complete the communism quest in my first playthrough#the tribunal really caught me by surprise ok!!#I also wanted to wait until after my third playthrough to look at fandom stuff to avoid spoilers but then I didn't#and I still haven't finished my third playthrough!!#it gets mentioned in the notes but sometimes when I hyperfixate on something hard enough I get afraid to engage with it because I don't wan#to 'ruin' it#I'll finish my third playthrough eventually
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More late night Lilia thoughts BUT!!! Thinking about how Lilia was probably Sebek's parents biggest supporter??? For their relationship??? He bears it through sebek's grandpa bitching about how his daughter has been courting this foolish human dentist or something and it's the fastest Lilia has every ran to find Sebek's mom to clown on his grandpa. I can just see him being like, " girl I'm going to get you into this man's pants if it's the last thing I do, god speed woman" as he teaches her everything he knows about human courtship rituals so she doesn't scare of Sebek's dad(unlikely considering this freak decided to move to Briar valley as a magicless human to open a dental practice for some God forsaken reason). You know that Lilia would 100% be up to pissing off Sebek's grandpa but making sure human and fae relationships improve. And now they have proof of that with three beautiful and very loud babies :)
#lilia vanrouge#twst lilia#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst#kosta thots#scrambles thoughts because I'm sleepy lol#I'm thinking about Lilia being the wingman to Sebek's man#will reread this later to fix my spelling and grammar mistakes#first i sleep 😴😴
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for the goddamn LIFE of me i cant seem to get my head around whether to use 'walk past' or 'walk passed' in a thing ........ like i have to google this shit constantly cos it just does NOT stick in my brain rip
#personal#ive made so many personal posts recetnyl soz#no i wont fix that spelling mistake pfft#it's like release and realise... like if u ever see me use the wrong one of those no you didnt#it's not as if i dont know the meaning of the words it's just the spelling is SO similar my brain is just bad at knowing which#i have to actually say it in my head to get it right lol#i get there theyre their wrong a lot too... i'm just a Mess which it comes to spelling lol#anyway i think the correct one is past.......... i think
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It's so annoying when people try to invalidate your feelings (both romantic and platonic) for your f/os for literally no reason. If you self ship for fun it's not serious enough, if you're ficto and consider your f/os irl relationships you're being too much or taking it too seriously, if you have a lot of f/os you're just not loving then enough........
Like maybe we should just start assuming everyone is their f/os number one lover/sibling/parent/child/etc instead idk !!!!
#𝜗𝜚 ┈ oratory 。 📜#as someone who actually takes it very seriously and considers my f/o one of my irl relationships#it's not that hard#this community exsists so people can share their love for their f/os#not to shame people for the way they do#number one not as in “the only one”#but more like#their number one fan™ but self ship version#lol#also please ignore the spelling mistakes I'm really tired and too lazy to fix them#q
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the hozier concert for this wednesday was cancelled 🥹💔
i'm sure it'll be rescheduled or smth but i hope hozier himself feels better soon!! not to sound like... stalker-ish but he's looked a little under the weather from recent photos, i hope he knows he's loved and is resting 💖💖💖
#hozier#jessie talks#i'm sad bc it was on one of my days i had off#praying he'll do reschedule for exactly a week later#i hope this poor man doesn't have covid#bless his soul#i live in an unfortunately red state and the covid sitch is not good#when i go out no one else i see is wearing a mask#if he needs to cancel it's understandable tho#if he's not well he'd better take care of himself#i'd rather him cancel the show and recover rather than do the opposite#alexa how do i take care of a sick singer/celebrity???#the need to wrap him in a blanket and make him tea is SO stronk#i'm he's a grown man and can take care of himself#but to my knowledge he's a sweet kind and good person#i want to give some of the love he gives us fans back#ANYWAY LMAO#pls ignore my spelling mistakes here lol i'm not going to fix them#💀💕
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Heute ich habe gegessen eine Schokolade der Morgen, Mittagessen war mcdonald’s medium Pommes da mein Lehrer ist gegangen dort und ich und meine Mitschülerin geteilt, und das Abendessen war eingefroren Pommes und vegetarier Nuggets, da ich versuche mein Fleisch Verbrauch reduzieren. Ich zudem habe zwei Brot Stücken gegessen und ein Ice Tea getrinken.
#two birds with one stone: i register what i ate for the sake of mental health and i improve my german skillz#i barely even register as an A1 so feel free to correct the mistakes you see#but i'll show this to my teacher to fix the obvious grammar issues and all#i don't feel like i'm improving a lot using her methods#which are like. throwing us a german paragraph and asking us to pick up the crumbs of meaning we can find#she explains things in german and then never like. translates them. or writes them/spells them out?#which i mean. we are supposed to be speedrunning seven years of classes in two but yknow. i dont UNDERSTAND the mechanic behind the language#so i'm doing some duolingo on the side and now this i guess#what would work for me (i think based on the way i learned english) is blind idiot translation under every sentence#to get the hang of the grammar and vocabulary#cuz i'm shit at categorizing grammar in every language but i'm fairly good at instinctively using it so familiarizing myself is my best bet#but i don't know how to go about finding that except asking someone to prechew it for me#and since my teacher is all ''never even look at google translate or a dictionary or anything just ✨start from the french word✨''...#yeah#broadcasting my misery
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White Night
Here is the writing about Shiro and Nix I was struggling to finish, It only took like 6 months but I finally finished it!! It's basically just a snippet of there first meeting nothing too crazy. There is some edgy dialogue, but I don't think it's anything too extreme, and It's around 2000 words.
Shiro quickly ducked into the first room they found open. Their original escape route was not optimal to use anymore, so they had to come up with a new one now, what a pain.
The room Shiro got into was almost completely dark save for the window on the far end of it letting in the moonlight.
Bingo Shiro thought to themselves, upon finding their new exit, they then quickly scoped out the room for any lingering threats.
The room was almost completely barren except the bed against the far left wall of the room and what looked to be a Dresser close by it, and the aforementioned window on the far right.
They started to make their way to the window, but was stopped when they heard a clacking metallic noise. Shiro automatically whipped out their knife and went into a defensive position facing where they thought they heard the noise from.
Shiro tried to scan the area more through the darkness of the room, They let their magic slip from their eyes, giving them their enhanced eyesight.
When doing so they had to push down the feeling of dread that washed over them as they did. Who ever is in here will be dead soon enough anyway, so it doesn't matter what there see Shiro reasoned with themselves, dead men tell no tales.
With their improved vision, they quickly locked onto the source of the noise, it was a boy that looked no older than them sitting on the floor next to the bed. He looked pretty beat up, with some bruises littering his skin and a leg chained up to something under the bed with a pair of thick handcuffs around his wrists with runes etched into them.
He's a sorcerer, Shiro noted to themselves.
Killing him could get messy if he is a summoner, even with the cuffs on, as soon as his blood touches something a bunch of monsters could appear and cause a mess.
Though, putting him out of his misery would be the best course of action. It is obvious why he's here, no one's going to care or go looking for him with all the other residents of this place dead. When the police investigate this place, they're just going to throw him out on the streets, and he's just going to find himself back in this same situation again anyways
When Shiro got closer, they noticed that the boy wasn't even reacting to anything happening. He was just looking right at the wall, it was the look of someone who was resigned to there fate.
Shiro knew that look all too well, it brought up the feelings they thought they killed and buried long ago. The feeling of being trapped in a tiny cage and being completely helpless was clawing its way up through them.
Their hands shook as they reached for their dagger once again. These memories only make them weak, so why do they keep coming back up no matter how hard they shoved them back down, They're just like a cockroach that just doesn't know when to die.
When Shiro got close to the boy, they kneeled down to his level. "What type of sorcerer are you"
He didn't respond to the sudden question, Shiro thought he didn't hear them at all, if it wasn't for his eye slowly moving in their direction, his gaze was slow and cautious as if he was afraid to look at someone too fast in fear of repercussion for something as little as that.
The boy met Shiro's eyes for the briefest of seconds before quickly jerking it back to look at the wall, as his whole body tension up.
"Hey, I asked you a question" Shiro impatiently spat out, waving there knife in the boy's peripheral vision, as a not so subtle way to say you better answer me.
"Healing." The boy answered meekly, his eyes looking down at the cuffs around his wrists before looking back at the wall.
Shiro mulled about their next course of action. killing him would be quick and easy, but the thought of there sensei scolding them for always getting injured on jobs suddenly gets stuck in there head.
The thought is not optimal or even rational, but for some reason it grabs a hold on them no matter how much they try to reason about it, it refused to let go.
Shiro grabbed his wrists and turned his body around to face them, the boys gaze fell to the floor refusing to make eye contact as he let Shiro manhandle his wrists without so much as a fuss.
Once they got the right angle they firmly grasp the side of the handcuffs furthest from the keyhole and rejusted there hold on there dagger. Once their grip was secured, Shiro slam down the dagger into the keyhole unit the blade burst through the other side and the pummel stopped it from going any further. Shiro heard the boy make a surprised squeaking sound but just ignored him as they then pulled the blade toward themselves until they heard the dull clicking sound they were waiting for.
The right handcuff popped open, setting the boy's wrist free. The left side didn't get fully unlocked, but it's loose enough to force open.
They pulled out their dagger and set it by their side, before grabbing the sides of the left handcuff with both hands and roughly pulling it apart until the teeth of the cuffs got yanked out of the slot with a loud snapping sound.
The boy looked shocked as the handcuffs were easily ripped off him, he went to move his hands back towards himself but Shiro grabbed both his wrists with one hand, stopping him easily.
“Now to see if you're telling the truth.” Shiro reached for their knife with their free hand, bringing the blade up to the boy's forearm and with a fast downward motion making a cut across his arm.
The boy let out a painful hiss, trying to retract his arms away from Shiro's grasp, but their grip held true, keeping him in place as he tried to thrash away. As they held his arm in place they observed The cut, it slowly started to knit itself back together right before their eyes.
Definitely way faster than normal, Shiro though to themselves while looking the boy over again, some of the bruises that were all over him have all but disappeared and the one that were still left were well along there way of disappearing too.
Shiro thought through their plan again, trying to find a big hole in it that would cause more problems than fix.
All that they could really come up with was the others whining about another mouth to feed, but they would shut their trap real fast when they don't have to limp to the medic and pay up every time they mess up a job.
Plus, all things considered this boy's not going to put up much of a fight, he's probably had it beaten out of him a long time ago.
Moving on from their thoughts, they follow the chain attached to the boy's leg to where it's attached to the floor with a metal plate and a couple of screws.
The padlock holding the chains around his leg looks to be fairly high quality and pretty hard to break open with just their dagger, so their best chance is to just rip it out of the floor.
“Don't move.” Shiro levelled a glare at the boy as they let go of his wrists. The boy brought his arms back close to himself, looking over the area where Shiro cut him, but stayed in place and didn’t look like he was going to fight against them. Shiro moved over to the metal plate and gave it a test pull to feel how much they’d need to loosen the screws. It had a bit of give to it already, so they wouldn’t need to loosen it that much. They took their dagger and wedged the tip into the divet of the screw and turned it until the head started to lift from the plate, and repeated the same process with the other screw until it was lifting too. Shiro then puts their dagger away, noting to themselves that they are going to need to give it a good sharpening after all this is done, and grabbed the plate with both hands on either side.
They let out a grunt as they braced their foot against the floor next to the plate and started pulling upwards. The screws protested with a shrill creaking sound as Shiro continued to pull at them with all their strength.
Eventually, with some more force the screws gave way and popped out along with the plate connecting them.
Shiro almost fell over when they pulled it out due to how much force they were using, but managed to correct themselves. Letting out a small sigh of triumph as they dropped the plate back to the floor. The boy just sat there frozen in place, his arms tightly wrapped around himself. Obviously unsure of what to make of the whole situation. Shiro just ignored him for the moment, he’s not going to go anywhere anyway. They grab the sheet from the bed next and rip away a long strip from it, then grabbed the boy’s legs with the chain wrapped around it. He only made a little squeak sound when they pulled him forward, not putting up any sort of resistance at all. Shiro wrapped the chain around his leg, then tied the ripped bedsheet around the area the chain was wrapped around. That should stop it from making too much noise, since they won't be able to get the chain off him until later.
“You're going to be coming with me.” Shiro spoke up while reaching for their dagger and putting it back on them.
The boy just stilled, his eyes going wide as he looked confusedly at them.
“It's not that good, but it's a hell of a lot better than here,” they shrugged, “you won't have to deal with those rich bastards and you're not going to be chained to the floor, sounds pretty good to me.”
Shiro didn't wait for a response from the boy and just went ahead and pulled him closer, grabbed his arms and lifted them over their head until they were wrapped around over their shoulders.
They went to stand up, keeping their hands on his arms while they lifted themselves and him off the floor.
The boy just let out another surprised squeak as he was lifted up, and instinctually wrapping his legs around Shiro as to not be dragged around.
“If you don't hold on or try to fight me, I'm just dropping you.” Shiro spoke up as they finally made their way to the window. The lock to the window seamed to be jammed, so they had to put a lot of force into pulling the latch in the opposite direction of where it was resting.
When they pulled their hands back to push up the window, they noticed their claws coming out on their right hand. The tips of their fingers were starting to turn gray as well. They must have used up too much power if their form is slipping so easily.
Shiro pushed back down the old emotions that were trying to bubble their way back up from seeing their hand.
It's the dead of night and extremely dark, no one's going to notice. Shiro reasoned with themselves, Before Hefting themselves and the boy up onto the ledge of the window, and surveying the area.
“All the healing magic in the world can't save you from that fall.” Shiro warned the boy on how high up in the building they were.
There were enough ledges and bricks sticking out of the wall so climbing down wasn't a problem, so after making a mental map on the route they were going to take, Shiro started their climb down with the boy in tow.
#oc stuff#ocs#Nix#Shiro#Writings not my thing#I have no recollection of making that my writing tag#But past me call the shots here so I'm not gonna argue with him#if you notice any major spelling or grammar mistakes pls tell me so I can fix it!
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